#2009 was just a simpler time

[milkneutrality]

Marble hornets not having much of a visually distinctive cast can be really frustrating, especially when ur first watching it. Then multiply that frustration 10x because of all the visual distortion/glitching. But nowadays I'm p thankful bcs wanting to make mh fanart is what pushed me to put more effort into drawing faces and making faces look distinctive from each other.

[deesblanketfort]

My favorite regression games ☆´ˎ˗ ︶︶︶

Nintendo DS edition!

Videogames have always been one of my favorite regression activities. And I've always gravitated towards old and accessible videogames, since it's pretty easy to find emulators and ROMs for old consoles, I compiled a list of my favorite DS games to play when regressed!

This link has ROMs for all of the following games, but for easier access I'll put a direct download link in each title

🐾: Nintendogs: Best Friends (2005)

Nintendogs a classic virtual pet game, I could even say it's the virtual pet game for the DS. Here you adopt puppies and get to raise, train and play with them. One of my favorite mechanics is calling my puppy by its name and having it understand it and come to me!

Aside from being absolutely adorable theres so much to do with your puppies! From basic care like walking, brushing or bathing them to training them and participating in competitons, which can be a little difficult but add a lot of flavor to the game! Plus the dog competition elements are really cool as someone who likes dog competitions!!

👠: Style Savvy (2009)

Not gonna lie, I made this whole post to talk about this game. I love style savvy!!! We desperately need to end the conception that dress up games are only for little girls!

In Style Savvy, you run your own fashion boutique and help clients pick their outfits, in which all clients have their own styles. The game requires you to pay attention to your client's preferences and store a variety of outfits in your boutique.

Speaking! Of! Outfits!!! Style Savvy includes so many fashion subcultures from the 00's, like gyaru, gothic lolita, sweet lolita, decora, it's so fun and I never get bored of checking on my boutique daily.

🫧: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Time/Darkness (2008)

Mystery Dungeon is one of my favorite Pokemon spin-offs! It's a super fun roguelike RPG where you play as a pokemon and their team going through dungeons and fighting other pokemon, it's a perfect blend between mainline pokemon gameplay and unique mechanics, plus you get to play as a pokemon!!

And this game has such a charming story!! I'm always on my feet when I play this game, and just a warning, it can get a little emotional sometimes.

💚: MySims (2007)

MySims is a life simulator town creator from the likes of Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing, and even though it's simpler than the aforementioned, it still lives in my heart rent free!

Here you do several tasks and minigames to raise the town level and with every level the town gets bigger, more tourists come visit it and more people move in. From all the minigames, the conversation one is my favorite, since it's so simple yet fun!

And the characters, oh, the characters! Although most of the iconic characters come from later instalments, this game doesn't lack memorable characters, specially the shopkeepers! My favorite is Olivia :3

🖌️: Kirby Canvas Curse (2005)

This game is usually overlooked for being very different from the usual Kirby games but it's so cool nonetheless!

It's not a traditional platformer where you control Kirby's movements, but instead you interact with the environment (tapping Kirby, enemies and objects) and draw lines that work as platforms, so, instead of playing as Kirby you play with the environment to help Kirby get through the levels.

This game was made specifically for the stylus, and although it can be played with a mouse just fine it works very well with a drawing tablet!

🍳: Cooking Mama (2006)

I love cooking and I love motherly figures, so Cooking Mama is right up my alley! This game makes me feel like a clumsy kid (who is trying their best) cooking with their mom.

Here you cook a variety of recipes and every step of the recipe is it's own self contained microgame. Plus, the controls translate well from stylus to mouse for the emulator, and if you have a drawing tablet it simulates the DS experience perfectly!

And although this is the first Cooking Mama game, it's timeless and a good introduction to the series.

🎮: Honorable Mentions!

Cookie Shop DS: I may be a sucker for resource management games but cookie shop is soooo fun and adorable! You get to befriend cute critters while running a dessert shop!

Pokemon Heart Gold/Soul Silver: This one is a classic, and good for beginners due to the fewer pokemon and mechanics while still being a little challenging.

Kirby Squeak Squad: Although I recommend Canvas Curse more, Squeak Squad is more of a traditional Kirby game, and unlike Super Star Ultra, it's not awfully difficult nor cosmic horror themed.

Animal Crossing Wild World: Another classic, and even if later games from this franchise are more popular and have more features, sometimes less is more.

[merulanoir]

Ghost's backstory

Ok so, I have wanted to write about this for months but my brain has been fighting a war called the end of the fiscal year, so I haven't had the time. But I desperately want to talk about the OG Ghost backstory. You know the one, with the hook and the cartel and the. Yeah, the coffin, and everything.

(For those lucky enough to remain in the dark uninitiated, the original 2009 Call of Duty character Simon "Ghost" Riley had a separate awfully bad comic that claimed to be his backstory.

The reboot version of Ghost (which is probably better known to most people by now) has a sweet fuck-all in his bio, but even so it sort of implies that the original backstory never happened to that guy. The fandom ranges from taking the full original backstory into the reboot dynamic to just ignoring it completely. It varies.)

Also, to be clear: I'm not saying my interpretation is in any way better or worse than anyone else's. It's just going to go against the grain of what the fandom has chosen to treat as canon.

Anyway, to summarize: the comics are a straight guy power fantasy framed interestingly: We meet Ghost when he's being held hostage in Ukraine. We later learn he let himself be captured to stall the terrorists.

We have the gist of it here, already! He's going to tell a story! He even claims it's not about himself, but an "old friend of his" "the baddest motherfucker on the planet" (I wish I was making this up.)

Now, here's where things get actually interesting. I'm going to claim that the Mexico/torture/brainwashing/whatever the fuck that was probably didn't happen like that. Hear me out.

Who does the framing of being held captive and telling a story remind me of?

Ghost is pulling a Varric! He's buying time. I have discussed this extensively with a friend (hi @sorrelchestnut) and the, erm, in-house expert we have on hand verified our theory: for special forces guys, creating a fabricated backstory is the norm. They train to do that. They keep names, dates, anything that can be fact-checked, and the rest is probably more or less lies.

Ghost tells the terrorists about the mission in Mexico, where he (allegedly) first met Roba and where he got captured. Then the comic's style changes completely and it cuts to him going back to beat up his abusive dad, then back to Ghost in Mexico. It keeps going back and forth between his time in Mexico (which is clearly Ghost telling the story to his captors, drawn in the same style as the panel up there) and his traumatic childhood (drawn in a completely different style):

All the parts about his family are drawn in that same, more classic comic-y style (Ghost beating up his dad, him helping Tommy get back on his feet, Tommy and Beth getting married, etc.) UNTIL we get to the part where Ghost comes back from Mexico (after being buried alive in that fucking coffin, yes).

Then, everything about him going to therapy (truly the most unbelievable aspect of the story, I agree), Sparks returning, his family getting killed on Christmas? Back to this style:

So, to recap: If we want to go this route, we could say that the family parts of the story, told in the simpler comic style, could be true. Those could be Simon's memories about his admittedly fucked up childhood (and which probably aren't included in the story being told to the terrorists and the other hostages). Everything that's in the more realistic, shaded style? His made-up story he's telling the bad guys in Ukraine.

But Meru, you say, what about the bit where Simon is bringing Tommy to rehab and his junkie friends attack him? Simon is imagining (?) them as having skullfaces! Your theory doesn't hold water!

Well, as the comics tell us later, there might be a good reason for Simon to have some...feelings about the skull motif.

That's his father speaking with their mother in the first speech bubble. The boy in the skull mask is Tommy, his little brother. What follows is the gnarly piece of story where Simon's father takes him to a punk concert and makes him laugh at a dead prostitute. The whole thing with the skullface ties pretty neatly into itself, if you ask me.

So, if Ghost telling the terrorists a story about Mexico and the cartel and his family getting killed by brainwashed American soldiers isn't all true, which parts are?

I don't think we're meant to know, at least in the way the story is told in the comics. So in a way, even though the comics are so fucking bad, I'm glad I read them (more than once, y'all can thank me later) because OG Ghost is fascinating.

So, is his family really dead? I'd say it's likely (see the part about keeping verifiable facts when lying to bad guys), but we can't know for sure. If we want to treat the comic-style parts as true within this mini essay, then the last verifiable thing about Simon's family is that Tommy and Beth got married. I can't be arsed to check if her name is actually ever mentioned in these parts of the story. Ghost certainly refers to his nephew as both Joseph and Jacob during the story-parts, so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Was he held hostage in Mexico? Who the hell knows. Judging by what the original MW games included in their storylines, I'd say it's possible. But we don't really know.

[ralfmaximus]

In regards to the Windows 10 LTSC thing, the caveat is that it uses build 19044 (version 21H2), so it's very likely that certain programs simply won't be compatible with it

Additionally, one article said that even if they do push out a new LTSC version, there's no way to simply upgrade, you have to reinstall the whole OS just to get that new version. There's also conflicting information that it doesn't need a product key, but if it does, then you have to get it through enterprise vendors who may or may not be willing to sell you a key for a single device (or a small batch of devices, ex: 5)

It could very well be an option for some people to ride out W10 for a little longer, but these are just some things to bear in mind

Thanks for your note! It's clear you've thought about this.

The compatibility thing gets thrown around a lot, but honestly one thing Microsoft gets right with Windows is backwards compatibility. I write software for a living and one aspect of my job is retrotesting new builds of my stuff on older platforms. Currently, everything I do works on Win11 back to WinXP.

Of course, companies can choose to break compatibility. Steam famously stopped working on Win7 awhile back, forcing users to upgrade. But the core Win32 API hasn't changed in 30+ years which is remarkable.

Assuming your software doesn't need the latest build of Windows... why bother?

Bottom line, I personally am not worried about not being able to install something. When's the last time that happened with you?

If you treat Windows as a program launcher (which it is) instead of an ecosystem (which it also is, because Microsoft wants you to live there and pay them $$$) then the 'problem' becomes simpler: will the programs YOU want to run work with an old build of Win10? If so, there's no need to upgrade.

Microsoft has successfully created a religion around Windows Update. You MUST have the latest patches! Otherwise, you are VULNERABLE. Bad Things will Happen if you Don't Upgrade! Be afraid!!

That is simply not true. In my living room I drive our big screen TV with an ancient Dell box (circa 2009) running Win7 and Media Player Classic (MPC). It plays TV shows & movies just fine, exceeding DVD & Bluray resolutions. It hasn't received a Windows Update in a decade, but continues to chug along reliably. I installed Malware Bytes to make up for Windows Defender being out of date, since it has Firefox installed and we do use it to noodle around on the web occasionally. Youtube on a big screen is fun.

Will I ever upgrade that Windows? Probably not. Maybe if the host Dell Optiplex (2009!!) ever dies but otherwise... why would I?

My main workstation is Win10 and I plan to ride this thing until it explodes. Win11 is super annoying, and all the machines I run Win11 on are infested with Copilot and nag screens about OneDrive. I recently downgraded Office 365 to Office 2016 for that very reason.

Sense a pattern here?

tl;dr: Win10, even the older builds, are adequate for the typical user, for the foreseeable future. Installing & activation are stupidly easy. No product keys needed.

Finally: if you're nervous about Win10 there exist stripped down enterprise builds of Win11 available as well.

[crownmemes]

Life Sentences, Vol. 1

(Sentences from Life (2007-2009). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"It's bad in there. It's your first day back. If you don't think you can handle it, I can do it myself."

"Why exactly would the universe make fun of us all?"

"When exactly was the last time you actually met a normal person?"

"Shouldn't innocent until proven guilty be a thing with all of us?"

"Hey, you're that guy, aren't you?"

"I think I might go up into space. You can pay the Russians to take you up there now."

"Do you think it's smart of you to let a convicted felon handle your money?"

"Why would you say something like that? What kind of person says something like that?"

"It's juvenile what you're doing."

"I want to be the un-wobbling pivot at the centre of an ever-revolving universe. I want to be still."

"You pulled a knife on the suspect?"

"They only look like angels, but they're not. They're aliens."

"May I ask when you lost your faith?"

"Just because her wings were fake doesn't mean she can't be a real angel."

"I can tell that you have money. I can tell that it's new money, and I can tell that you don't know what to do with their money."

"My faith has been gone for so long I can't remember when it was that I lost it, or if I ever even had it."

"You have no idea how the real world works, do you?"

"Focus on the words I'm actually saying, okay?"

"If you saw a crime about to happen, what would you do?"

"Conspiracies are how bored people pass the time."

"You're stepping over a line here. You might want to step back."

"Be careful about having expectations - they only lead to disappointment."

"Of course I'm awake; sleep is for babies."

"How come you only call me when someone's dead?"

"Don't all husbands lie to their wives?"

"Knowing what you went through, it would be crazy if you didn't go crazy."

"If you keep going where you're going, you're going to find trouble - whether it was there to begin with or not."

"I spent my childhood trying to work out if my dad was only mean or just plain bad."

"How come you're not on a beach somewhere?"

"Do I look like I tan?"

"Dating was simpler when I was younger."

[homestuckreplay]

Act 3 Ending Predictions!

(page 1074-1081)

This update is mostly tying up some loose ends – important, but not super exciting. Page 1074 confirms that Jade pesters John immediately after waking, repeating their conversation from page 652 during which Jade encourages John to keep taking Nanna’s advice, among other things. Page 1075 clarifies how Jade’s future visions work, for anyone who found the recent flash confusing – I like that this is explained, so that casual readers can still follow the plot. This page also tells us that Jade has never seen Bec on Prospit before, so I’m leaning towards there just being one Bec, who teleported to Prospit today because he wanted to protect Jade from the white Skaian powerup.

Jade also says it’s Bec’s birthday, which doesn’t track to me unless Jade’s visions come with an understanding of exactly when they happened/will happen. I can believe this, because she’s so certain in advance that April 13, 2009 is ‘the big day’ (p.838). She could have seen a calendar in a vision or something, but an innate understanding is a simpler explanation (and will make Hussie’s life easier, probably).

Bec napping in front of Grandpa Harley (p.1076) is sweet. If Bec is 4 billion years old (a LOT of candles, as Jade says), he was probably best friends with Grandpa Harley before Jade, and others before him, and is still protective of Grandpa now. Also, despite his ridiculously powerful radiation and teleportation powers, Bec is susceptible to playing fetch and to delicious steak (p.980), and to taking naps after a busy day. Jade will probably exploit these further, and ominous planet agents could also exploit these, if they try to kidnap Bec when Jade enters the game.

Jade shoots her harpoon to the exact pillar that WV will try to appearify the cable from (p.1009). She may or may not be aware of this time loop, but she definitely knows she has to put the blue package in the same place, which WV will accidentally appearify before the cable (p.1012). Jade fufilling both of these will close the existing loop, but still leaves the rest of the package’s journey open ended for now, and I don’t expect that to get wrapped up this act.

Meanwhile, Rose is still coping with her house being on fire by focusing entirely on Something Else. It looks like she’s done loads of work on John’s house, but really she’s just copy-pasted large chunks of his house on top of one another – and besides a precarious looking part near the top left, it’s a lot more stable than the platforms were. Apparently this has been happening while John was alchemizing (p.1052-69), as page 1081 is just a zoom-out of that final alchemy page, and the extra weight hasn’t shaken the house enough to distract John. Rose has almost built up to the First Gate, which means….

NANNASPRITE: When you pass through the first gate, everything will change. You will find the place where the constellations dance beneath the clouds. And then your true work may begin. NANNASPRITE: Hoo hoo hoo! (p.885)

I can’t wait to go here – ‘the place where the constellations dance beneath the clouds’ is so evocative, and if Skaia and Prospit are anything to go by, this place will be beautiful. My guess is that these gates are also portals to different levels, and on each level, John will need to complete some objective (possibly also picking up rare grist that isn’t available anywhere else), make his way back to his house, do some level ups and alchemizing so that he’s powerful enough for the next location, Ascend (p.759) through the house (which Rose by this point should have built up to the next gate) killing ever more powerful enemies along the way, and repeat the loop for the first six gates, with the seventh taking him to Skaia and the endgame, where he should meet up with the other players if they’ve all succeeded in their server and client goals. The game as designed is probably only winnable if all players make it to Skaia, but there may be hacks, cheats and exploits that could change that.

In today’s newspost (/news/12-30-09 in the Collection), Hussie has also said that the end of Act 3 will ‘probably be soon’, and that they’ll disappear for a few days when it happens. So it’s likely that Act 3 (currently 323 pages) could be shorter than Act 2 (511 pages), even though it’s juggling more characters, and I’m honestly surprised it’s ending so soon. Here’s my predictions for what has to happen to leave the act on some sort of rare and highly dangerous 9x cliffhanger combo.

John: Will battle his way up through his Tall House and bounce right through that gate.

Rose: Will load the client program as flames spread through the house, ready to begin the entry process the second Dave logs on.

Dave: Will get in touch with Rose and install the server program; we’ll leave off at the moment they connect in game.

Jade: Will ‘deliver’ the gift to WV, closing the stable time loop, and harpoon over to the mystic ruins.

WV: Will perform their mayoral duties, calling a council meeting and a vote on whether AR’s use of military force is acceptable. May sacrifice himself for the future of all cankind.

PM: Will read the note on the gift WV has given her. It will, in some way, tie in with Rose and/or Dave’s story – this package will make its way through all four kids before finally returning to Jade.

AR: Will show the reader what’s inside the mystic ruins that needs to be protected (or protected against) with so much rapid gunfire, tying into Jade’s cliffhanger.

Dad: Will escape from the guards on the ominous planet and go rogue, stealing Jack’s harlequin hat and going to look for John.

Jack Noir: Will fail to keep Dad prisoner and therefore be disgraced by the monarch, leading him to form a sinister gang in an underground hideout with one of his burliest agents.

Act 4, then, will begin with Dave helping Rose to get into the game under conditions where she’s in extreme danger and he’s still being an asshole (character development isn’t immediate, after all), Jade exploring the ruins, and John finally no longer being h. No longer being homest. I can’t even say it

> Rose: Pester Dave to ask if he's escaped the puppet pile.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Dancing With Visions - Until Next Time - Dottore - Argentine Tango

Author Notes: Apologies, this one ended up long. I was having too much fun writing it, though. Plus, the dance I watched to inspire this fic's dance was really, really good. So that didn't help matters either. The dance in this fic was inspired by the Argentine Tango performance by Miriam Larici & Leonardo Barrionuevo to “Tanguera” by Forever Tango on So You Think You Can Dance (2009). The fic was also written while I listed to “Tanguera” by Forever Tango. I hope you enjoy!

If you would like to read more of this series, the fics can be found here: Dancing with Visions Masterlist

Type: Female reader/ rivalry/ enemies to something but they're still foes/ sfw/ NOT yandere

Word count: 2843

Infiltrating a masquerade ball at the Zapolyarny Palace had to be one of the worst jobs I’d ever gotten. And that was even with the fact that I’d gotten the fancy dress, jewels, and masquerade mask for free.

My job was, overall, simple though. I just had to see if you could find any weaknesses within the upper crust of Fatui ranks. 

All of the harbingers were going to be present for the ball being held by the Tsaritsa herself, who, despite never participating in the grandiose affairs, was well known for her love of masquerade balls. Especially the ones involving cross-dressing.

I wasn’t at one of the cross-dressing balls, though. Instead, this one was simpler, though still perfectly grand.

All told, it should have been incredibly simple to infiltrate the ball and get some sort of information before slipping out without anyone noticing.

But, that was not the case tonight, considering there was someone who was already onto my little plot. And it wasn’t just anyone. No, it was a Harbinger.

I was just lucky that I’d realized that he knew what I was up to already before I could make some sort of blunder resulting in my death.

I stared at the masked face of the second of the harbingers, Dottore, forcing myself to keep the polite smile on my face.

I’d dealt with him before, and that was how he knew what I was here for. Though I hadn’t known who was at our first meeting.

“Well, what are you up to this time? Petty theft, or something else?” The words rolled off his tongue easily as he held out his hand. To most, it probably looked like a polite request to dance, but I knew what it really was.

A demand. If I refused, he’d out me immediately. Why he hadn’t done so already, I didn’t know. But I was currently surviving on his little mercies, which was hardly a good place to be.

I let my hand slide into his, the careful smile remaining on my face as I whispered back, “Hardly. But how, pray tell, did you recognize me?”

His smile didn’t waver as he led me through the crowd despite the murmurs of people around us. Apparently the mad scientist didn’t usually dance.

“You were wearing a mask last time we met too. You look remarkably similar,” My smile almost dropped at his words. 

Last time I’d encountered him I had indeed been wearing a mask. But I’d also be in an outfit more like what a ninja from Inazuma might wear. Not a glistening gown that befit a glittering atmosphere like this one.

Drums began softly as lights lowered and I watched other dancers began fleeing the floor and I felt myself tense slightly at the realization of what sort of beat was being laid out.

I spun and wrapped an arm around his shoulders so that my hand rested against his back. Letting him continue to hold my hand while his other hand rested against my waist.

Somehow, it was only fitting that I was going to be dancing the Argentine tango, a dance so notably capable of being coldly aggressive, with this man.

Slinky string notes that cut themselves off short had us launching into motion until we abruptly froze as the string music halted. We held our pose, with me leaning forward on one leg while the other draped across his body and over his bent leg while he supported me.

“So you were chosen for this job because you can dance,” His voice was soft enough that only I could hear it, but it seemed to roll out and fill the space.

“What makes you think I was hired? Perhaps I just came here to see if I could get in,” I matched his low volume when I answered. Keeping my face turned away from him, as if I was in no way uncomfortable with having to dance with him.

But this was a good opportunity. If I were lucky, I could get information out of him. If not, I would be heading home without any because I certainly wasn’t staying after having been discovered. 

No amount of pay was worth that.

The next note had him swinging me up as I extended one leg and kicked lightly before he swung me back down so that I was once again on two feet and spinning out from him in time for the next note that signaled our pause.

This time we stopped with only one of my hands in his as we stood side by side, with our arms outstretched between us.

“Get in and get some sort of information to be used against us,” He looked towards me, still not outing me even though he knew precisely what my plan was.

I refused to meet his gaze though, instead opting to look towards the floor with careful disinterest. 

That was the secret to dealing with this man. To not let him know when he had you. And that was an art in and of itself considering how he toyed with others.

“Would challenging myself be so odd? I’ve already successfully gotten away once,” My voice stayed level as I responded. And my words were true; I’d already gotten away once.

But I’d been beyond lucky then, and now I was beyond unlucky to be having to deal with him yet again.

The next note signaled our motions once more. Him spinning over and wrapping his arm back around me so we could rotate together with careful footsteps until he dipped me. 

I grasped his elbows as I leaned backwards almost limply, perfectly aware of the perilous position I’d found myself in as I relied solely on him for support as the next note rang out through the room, and he lowered me still lower so that he was holding me only by my hands. My head mere inches from the ground before he pulled me back up, and I spun out to the other side.

Once more, we were side by side, linked only by our hands as he looked my way and I determinedly avoided eye contact.

The entire room was staring at us, and I realized that the two of us were the only dancers on the floor. I almost gritted my teeth as I realized exactly what he was playing at.

He was making sure everyone here saw me so that there was no way my job could go as smoothly as I’d initially hoped.

I was no longer just another masked face in the crowd. I was now Dottore’s strangely talented dance partner as we danced with an unspoken tension between us that probably left the other partygoers curious.

We walked across the floor to the slinky beat, as if there were nothing amiss, though we no longer spoke. 

Our footwork aligned closely, each step barely missing the other's foot before he retreated. His hand holding mine once again was the only thing linking us as he eyed me. Waiting for a reaction.

I almost grimaced as I realized what move came next. A lift. 

At long last, I lifted my gaze to barely meet his, just to make sure he was ready to catch me. 

The smooth smile on his face that told me nothing other than the fact that he was indeed prepared was answer enough, and I spun towards him. Letting my motions carry me up and into his arms as I arched my back so that I was looking up at the ceiling.

There were soft murmurs from the crowd as we paused to hold the position, his arms not even trembling as he held me there before slowly letting me down so that we were walking across the floor once more. Hand in hand with my back to his chest.

A few steps forward, and I spun so that we were once more chest to chest, with only a slight amount of space between us as we moved languidly around the floor. Our motions smooth despite the intricacy of the footwork.

One wrong step, and we would kick or step on the other. But we matched each other step for step. Almost as if we’d been made to dance with one another as each motion flowed easily into the next.

And despite myself, I was impressed. He was a frustratingly good dancer.

“Did you learn to dance for your master’s balls, or is it some sort of hobby for you outside of your experiments?” My voice was still steady even though I was having to focus closely on our steps.

I could hear the amusement, perfectly villainous, in his voice as he responded with an equally stable voice despite the fact he’d already exhibited impressive strength with the lift he’d pulled off mere moments ago, “The Tsaritsa is not my master. She is merely an employer, much like the one who sent you here. As for the tango, it is a bit of a study to measure people’s reactions to close, intimate proximity.”

I chose to ignore his assertion that I was indeed sent by an employer. Denying any further would just prove him right. Instead, I focused on his other words, and they weren’t untrue. Many people did get embarrassed or uncomfortable when dancing the tango. And the Argentine variety was particularly bad. 

It was, after all, a dance that required you to remain pressed to one another like you were in the throes of some passionate experience.

I shifted my gaze to barely look his way and immediately recognized my mistake. He was looking towards me despite the fact our heads were turned so that we weren’t facing each other. Measuring me for a reaction in the interest of his study.

I allowed myself a half-mocking smile, “And what are you finding in this round of your experiment?” As I spoke, I spun, my back pressing itself to his chest once more as I kicked one leg back and between his legs as he grasped my hips, and we paused to match the beat.

He remained silent until we moved once more. Me spinning to once again enter a closed hold with him as he led me across the floor. But this time, my eyes stayed looking ahead, in the direction we were headed in, while he faced me. Almost as if he refused to look away from me anymore.

And perhaps that was part of his experiment. A subtle manipulation to increase the intensity of the dance and see how I reacted.

“You, are an outlier,” He all but breathed the words into my ear, and I swallowed. Suppressing the urge to swallow thickly at exactly how pleased he sounded with his findings.

He lifted me once more, with little warning, but I struck a pose easily as he held me aloft. My hands in his as he continued to swing me around until I touched down once more. 

I briefly glanced his way, finding that I too was measuring his behavior. But the intimate way in which he spoke paired with the dance we were doing was confusing at best. I knew he was a master manipulator, but I’d hardly been prepared for this type of manipulation.

“You’re quite the confident dancer yourself,” I breathed back before twisting as I walked away from him, only for him to grasp my arms with surprisingly gentleness and wrap both his and my own arms around me in some form of embrace.

I sighed before spinning back towards him, knowing perfectly well exactly what move he wanted to do next. All the signs were there, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Unable to avoid looking at him as he leaned me backwards so that my body slid between his legs in a mockery of an embrace before he spun me where I lay in his hold and I released his neck.

 Whipping around with only his support until he stopped me, and I arched my head back, looking at our audience with one outstretched arms, only to find that they were perfectly enraptured by our performance.

But a good tango told a story. An intimate one of either scornful rage or intense passion. And I knew exactly the sort of tale he was weaving as he pulled me up and slowly moved. Forcing me to turn my head to look at him as I exhaled slowly. Recovering from our sudden rapid motions.

I stepped back, kneeling in front of him and praying he’d accept my surrender, but he didn’t. Instead, he stepped forward and knelt with me. His hand cradling the back of my head as he inclined his own head. Putting us nose to nose and causing the audience to sigh as he guided me back to a standing position.

My motions became slightly more vehement as frustration began to kick in at his behavior. There had to be a reason he wouldn’t let this dance end, “You do like to push your luck, don’t you, Dottore. A good experiment should’ve ended a long time ago.”

He continued to match my motions perfectly, in no way backing down, “But neither of us have gotten what we want. You don’t have any information for your employer, and I…”

He paused briefly as he whipped me around, and I knew what he was waiting for. What he wanted.

I almost gritted my teeth before looking his way. This time, unabashedly. And he grinned at the unfiltered annoyance that I knew danced through my eyes as he finished, “I haven’t gotten your name yet.” 

My eye twitched.

Giving an enemy your name during an infiltration would be tantamount to suicide. Especially when that enemy was Dottore. It would be obvious that whatever name I gave him would be fake. So I had only one option.

To give him my real name and watch as the frustration kicked in for the mad genius. Besides, I had figured out something already.

“It seems you’re on the losing end this time, Dottore. I have gotten what I wanted,” His eyebrows rose at my words, and, if possible, he appeared even more amused as he lifted me into the air.

But it was an interesting position. I somehow had the upper hand in the conversation while he was in full control of our motions. Dropping me now would doubtless result in injury to my person, but I wasn’t worried as I looked down at him, grinning triumphantly, “Something’s going on that you don’t want me to find out about.”

He lowered me, forcing me to pause as I had to concentrate on our motions before he did something unexpected. Showing exactly how much control he had over the situation as he lifted me. Placing me on my shoulder and forcing me to strike a pose once more to maintain appearance as he spun. Seemingly unbothered by my weight and subtly letting me know that, if I didn’t watch it, it could end very poorly for me.

He pushed up with one arm, and I spun. Rolling across his shoulders and down into his arms as our dance ended with finality. Him holding me aloft with my legs swung back so that I had no control as we looked towards each other. Finally holding eye contact for a lengthy period.

I panted slightly from exertion as applause rang out around us and he sat me down. I spun away from him reflexively, but he caught my hand.

I didn’t kick up a fuss though, as I bowed carefully before I let him lead me off the floor like some sort of demented gentleman.

I smiled slightly as I slipped from his grasp, turning to face him at the doorway. We both knew I was leaving, but I had one final part to play.

If he wanted my name, he would have it. But he would assume it was fake, and I would revel in watching him try to figure out what code was used.

“Thank you for the dance; I expect we’ll meet again?” At my faux-polite words, his lips quirked up into a smile. 

“I expect so,” He grasped my hand once more, bending and pressing a kiss to it even though I could feel his eyes, behind his mask, staying on me.

“Then I’ll let you have this. You can call me Y/n.” He straightened as I spoke, the smile on his face as smooth as ever.

“Then til next, Y/n,” My name rolled off his tongue in the most unhurried manner possible. Like honey dripping from a bottle. You couldn’t control its speed, just like how I knew I couldn’t fully control or manipulate this man. Instead, it would always be a dance as we moved around each other. Gauging each other each time we met. I could only hope that this time I really did have the upper hand as I turned away from him with a smile.

“Until next time.”

If you would like to read more:

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[josebarrmageddon]

9(2009) 15th Anniversary

My hype for this movie was through the roof. On top of it already looking unique compared to other movies coming out at the time, I saw it was produced by Tim Burton, who I was obsessed with growing up. I was 12 and my best friend, Kal, and I went to see it after school on opening day. It was also the first time I went to the movies without an adult, which my Parents were hesitant about before agreeing to let me see it. Kal and I walked out really liking it, but I became obsessed with it. I loved the characters, voice acting, backstory, visual designs, and world building.

Over the years, I’ve heard some complaints, like the plot being too simple and having little to no character depth, but I think because I saw it at the right time, I was able to fill in those blanks and just appreciated the things it did right. While now, its kind of quaint, I do remember feeling it was more mature and creepy and I liked it. I categorized it under gateway horror, as around the same time, I started delving more into classic horror and monster movies. It’s not necessarily aimed at mature adults, it’s aimed at the kids who are ready to see something a little bit more scary. That’s why the plot is easy to follow and the visuals and tone are intense. Director Shane Acker has talked about making more dark animated movies like this, but nothing’s happened. I know he’s still around working on visual effects for movies and making shorts, but I’d really love to see another feature from him. Hard to believe it’s been 15 years, but It’s still nice to see the 9 fandom occasionally pop up and remind me of simpler times.

- Jose Barr (9/9/24)

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Piano (5) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four

dan is not a pianist (ao3) - Marranje

Summary: One night, Phil stumbles over a musician's YouTube channel. Years later, they're sharing the most important moments of their lives.

(in which dan pursued the piano, they did not meet in 2009, but still finds each other through the power of the internet)

Far Too Young To Die (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: Phil didn't think much of Dan's sudden obsession with playing Panic! songs on the piano. He didn't think much of Dan's long sleeves or his lack of uploading. Well, that was until he found Dan's journal and became concerned for his safety.

home (ao3) - Rawritsamehh

Summary: just a little drabblely thing :)

i just like the music (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: There's something soft that settles in his chest to think that he and Amelia share this passion, and he's desperate to give her the guidance that he never got as a child.

i will never know a sunday (how slow the moments go) (ao3) - beaniebopbaby

Summary: The man hunched over the piano, and Phil felt like he couldn’t breath. He looked around the room, to see if anyone else noticed this shift, when he finally realized they were alone. The notes grew slower and slower as Phil stood, drifting closer to the man playing the piano. The pianist looked as mesmerized as Phil, absorbed in his playing.

idgaf (because it saved me) (ao3) - gaydreaming

Summary: When Dan sits down at his piano, he doesn't expect to put so much emotional vulnerability onto the page. But TATINOF had a song. Introverts had a song. Terrible Influences needs a song. And, more importantly, Dan and Phil need to figure out how exactly they plan to take back what the internet took from them.

in simpler terms: i can't stop thinking about the fact that they occasionally write songs together so i wrote a fic about it.

in harmony (ao3) - heartsopenminds

Summary: Dan's always turned to music to help him process emotions he can't or won't say out loud.

Music Man (ao3) - starlight_kth

Summary: Phil attends a concert with one of his best friends. He's really not that interested. Well, that's until he sees the tall, beautiful piano player with the dimple.

On That Note (ao3) - Marranje

Summary: As far as Phil knew, he did not have a single musical bone in his body. All of that went to his brother, as with most of the other Talent genes, which left Phil with all the awkwardness and introversion, and none of the eye-hand coordination. So why, you ask, had Phil signed up for piano lessons?

or, the one were phil decides to try something new, but is more interested in his handsome piano teacher than the piano

Love Comes Without a Warning (ao3) - beaniebopbaby

Summary: Phil Lester wanted nothing more than to find his soulmate, his other half.

Dan Howell could not care less about finding his.

A soulmate AU where each person has one half of a tattoo. When you meet your soulmate, your tattoos combine to become one.

Mollifying (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: Most days aren’t bad like this. Most days just include Phil not wanting to make a phone call or agonizing over how stupid he looks when he trips over his own feet.

A fic about physical anxiety and piano playing.

Of Tears and Melodies (ao3) - moonharbinger

Summary: Dan has a habit of playing the piano at ungodly hours. Phil can't do anything but love him for it.

one of those days (ao3) - nivi_chip

Summary: Phil has a dizzy spell and Dan takes care of him.

Or, Dan is the man with the plan (rip the stereo shows imy)

out of tune (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: There's a piano in the first London flat. It was there when they moved in, and it's there when they leave.

play me beauty (ao3) - PoisonedMind

Summary: There’s a piano. It’s not in the corner of the room nor in the centre but rather placed awkwardly to the side. As if it’s a keepsake of half-forgotten times. Dan dusts off the keys and pushes down with a delicate finger. Only a mutilated mumble of a note crawls out.

It’s broken. Just like the world.

Poets, pianists, & melancholy nights (ao3) - Obsessionova

Summary: The one where they’re neighbors and Dan’s playing piano in the middle of the night

Red Sex (ao3) - dead_little_lamb19

Summary: In a world where Dan Howell is a pianist who is best inspired by beautiful young boys and girls. Unfortunately someone else really can't stand it.

Remote Crisis Manager (ao3) - sexy_ghost_star (sepia_sigyn)

Summary: “You’re playing Debussy.”

“I am.”

“Does that mean you want-”

“Da bussy,” they say in unison.

take my hand, take my whole life too (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: “You’re learning piano and the first song you go for is Elvis?” Dan manages to get out, and Phil giggles.

the old familiar rhythms (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: There will be dozens of good days in the weeks to come, but not many of them will end in quiet.

(piano, summer 2022)

The Power of the Melody Moves You (ao3) - thoughtfullightcollection

Summary: The first time Dan plays piano for Phil.

whisper of the heart (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Phil has a headache. Dan plays the piano and comforts him.

won't let you pass me by (ao3) - glowingatmosphere

Summary: When Phil walks into work that Thursday evening, there's someone new sitting in Cornelia's place at the piano.

[slugdragoon]

Dungeon Appreciation Post #4 - Womb of Grief (Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey Redux)

I mean, just look at this thing. The scale of the optional extra dungeon in SMT: SJR is something I aspire to. I mean, the original game came out for Nintendo DS in 2009, the remake (and thus this dungeon) in 2017, but the design here is truly old school.

While the dungeon itself is super recent, it follows the general design of dungeons in the main game, which is to fill just about as much of the map grid as possible on each floor, except this one has seven, and you return to it, going deeper each time as you go through the main story. Typically, you go to a lower floor and eventually open a shortcut to the one above so that you can return more easily.

The Womb of Grief makes heavy use of conveyor floor tiles and teleporter tiles with unclear destinations, classic but controversial elements in DRPGs, some say outdated. Strange Journey was notable for throwing back to these designs that have in some ways fell out of fashion, but they are classic confusion tactics. My first experience with both of these was Pokemon Blue, with conveyor tiles in the Celadon Game Corner and teleporters in Sabrina's Gym. It also has some invisible floors, and pit traps that can take you to an unfamiliar part of a lower floor. It's main characteristic is that it's huge and very difficult to traverse, and is so despite having the map fill in as you go.

In a simpler game like Pokemon, similar traps present no real problem, but are a nod to the games that inspired them both, but in the Womb of Grief, though you map the dungeon out and can try paths you haven't yet tried, the complexity is cranked to such a level that you can have a hard time keeping track of where teleporters lead that you definitely have already been through, just because there are so many to keep track of. There's also a floor where teleporters have multiple destinations depending on the order you used them in. Both enemy encounters and poison and sleep tiles will drag and punish your failures of memory and mapping, which you might need to do on paper.

Takeaways for my own game: The Womb of Grief upsets players. It's beautiful. Strange Journey directly inspired my decision to make a dungeon crawler. But, I don't want my own game to feel as oppressive, necessarily, that requires trust from the players that I as an unknown will not have. However, I do love a sprawling dungeon that feels dangerous and uncharted. I'm not necessarily as interested in having a dungeon fill literally all available space to the point it loses a readable form, but mine will have verticality, so there's a ton of space to play with layout. I don't have to use traditional conveyor tiles, but what about a slide? It's already possible to fall off ledges, so why not have pitfalls and leaps of faith? I do want the spaces to feel real and take advantage of three dimensions, which is where the intertwined maps of Dark Souls (the first) might guide me. I'm considering having the bulk of the game take place in one mega-dungeon, so I'm looking for ways to add variety within it. In that sense shortcuts to different sectors as a progression mechanic will be a must.

[ronaldanthony4]

Every once in a while, I find myself diving into the world of digital art, and this time, I’ve created something special yet again—a fan art piece that brings a beloved character to life. It’s a thrill to revisit the colourful world of Strawberry Shortcake, a cartoon that has captured the hearts of so many with its charming characters and whimsical settings. This particular artwork, however, features a character who stands out for her grace, talent, and unique personality—Cherry Jam.

It’s not my first foray into the world of Strawberry Shortcake fan art. Some of my earlier creations for this series were fortunate enough to be featured on the official page of Strawberry Shortcake itself. That was a surreal moment, to say the least. To have my work appreciated by the very creators of the show was like receiving a warm hug of validation. It inspired me to embark on a creative journey: to illustrate this delightful series' entire cast of characters. Cherry Jam, with her enchanting persona, was next on my list.

For this artwork, I chose to focus on Cherry Jam as she appears in the 2009 series Strawberry Shortcake’s Berry Bitty Adventures. Her character design has always fascinated me; it perfectly blends elegance, vibrancy, and charm. Cherry’s deep violet-blue eyes are the first thing that draws your attention. They shimmer with a sense of wonder and kindness, framed by lashes that seem to carry the weight of her quiet wisdom. Her complexion is fair, adding to her ethereal aura. And then there’s her hair—a cascading waterfall of dark violet locks that seem to catch the light in ways that make it shimmer with hints of purple. It’s waist-length, flowing gracefully with the slightest movement, and the ends flip outward in a playful, carefree style. Her bangs brushed neatly to one side, adding a touch of sophistication to her youthful look.

Cherry’s outfit is another story altogether, one that speaks volumes about her personality and background. Her magenta headband, adorned with a delicate pink cherry blossom and a dangling cherry, is both adorable and symbolic of her pop-star roots. It’s a subtle nod to her fame, but it also ties her to the natural beauty of Berry Bitty City. The dress she wears is a work of art in itself. The upper half is a vibrant magenta that fades into a soft, pastel pink below the purple band at her waist. The band, decorated with another cherry blossom and cherry, cinches the outfit together, quite literally. Below this, the skirt features a playful pattern of magenta spots on a lighter background, adding a whimsical touch to her otherwise elegant appearance.

Her leggings are a bold choice—striped in shades of purple and neon pink, they scream confidence and creativity. They’re the kind of leggings you’d expect a pop star to wear, but they also carry an air of approachability, showing that Cherry isn’t afraid to mix fun with fashion. To complete the look, she wears magenta flats with a small bead embellishment on the outer corners and light pink soles. These aren’t just shoes; they’re an expression of her down-to-earth personality, a reminder that despite her celebrity status, Cherry Jam is just like any other girl who loves to feel comfortable and stylish.

But Cherry Jam is more than just a fashion icon or a beautiful character design. She’s a layered individual with a backstory that resonates deeply. I remember her first introduction in the series, in the episode “Starlight, Star Bright.” She arrived in Berry Bitty City as a pop sensation, a star from the big city who was used to the flashing lights and roaring crowds. Yet, beneath the glittering exterior was a girl yearning for something more—a simpler life, a chance to be accepted for who she truly was, not just the image the world had created for her. It was during her performance at the grand opening of the Market that Cherry discovered what she had been missing all along: a place where she could belong, where she could be herself.

Cherry’s decision to stay in Berry Bitty City wasn’t just a plot point; it was a turning point in her life. She traded the glitz and glamour of her celebrity lifestyle for the quiet charm of a small town, where she could build genuine friendships and reconnect with her passion for music on her terms. Becoming a music teacher was a natural step for her—a way to share her talent and inspire others while staying grounded. It’s a role that suits her perfectly, as it allows her to nurture the creativity of others while continuing to grow as an artist herself.

What I love most about Cherry Jam is her authenticity. She’s kind, thoughtful, and unassuming, despite her fame. There’s a sweetness to her that’s hard to ignore, a quiet strength that makes her stand out among the Berry girls. While some might expect a pop star to be a diva, Cherry defies those stereotypes effortlessly. She’s anything but snobby or self-centred; instead, she’s humble and approachable, always ready to lend a helping hand or a listening ear. Her calm and wise demeanour often makes her the voice of reason in the group, but she’s not immune to the excitement and fun that Berry Bitty City has to offer. Whether it’s joining in on a spontaneous adventure or sharing cookies with her friends, Cherry embraces the simple joys of life with open arms.

One of the things that makes Cherry so relatable is her struggle to find true friendship. Coming from a big city, she had always been surrounded by people who admired her for her fame, not for who she was. It wasn’t until she met Strawberry Shortcake and the other Berry girls that she discovered the meaning of genuine connection. Their friendship is a testament to the idea that true friends accept you for who you are, flaws and all. It’s a theme that resonates deeply, reminding us all of the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who see beyond the surface.

Another aspect of Cherry’s character that I admire is her love for the simple things in life. After years of living in the fast lane, she finds joy in the little moments—sitting in a comfy chair with a magazine, strumming her guitar on a lazy afternoon, or enjoying a quiet meal with her friends. These moments are a stark contrast to the chaos of her previous life, and they highlight her appreciation for the present. It’s a beautiful reminder to slow down and cherish the small blessings that life has to offer.

As I worked on this artwork, I couldn’t help but think about Cherry’s musical talent. Music is such an integral part of who she is, and it’s evident in everything she does. Whether she’s teaching her students, performing for her friends, or simply playing for herself, Cherry pours her heart into every note. She owns two guitars—one for casual playing and another for her performances—and her piano skills are equally impressive. Music isn’t just her profession; it’s her way of expressing herself, of connecting with others, and of finding peace.

Creating this fan art was more than just a creative endeavour for me; it was a journey into Cherry Jam’s world, an opportunity to appreciate her character on a deeper level. As I added the finishing touches to her hair, her dress, and her expressive eyes, I felt a sense of connection with her story. It’s a story of self-discovery, of finding your place in the world, and of embracing the things that truly matter. Cherry Jam isn’t just a character; she’s an inspiration, a reminder that it’s okay to let go of the things that don’t serve you and to pursue a life that aligns with your values.

Looking at the completed artwork now, I feel a sense of pride and fulfilment. Cherry Jam stands there, vibrant and full of life, her hand raised in a friendly wave as if to greet everyone who looks her way. The background, a lush garden of strawberries and flowers, serves as the perfect backdrop for her cheerful presence. It’s a scene that captures the essence of Berry Bitty City—a place where kindness, friendship, and creativity thrive. The vibrant colours and attention to detail in the artwork truly bring Cherry Jam to life, embodying the spirit of positivity and joy. This piece serves as a beautiful reminder of the importance of surrounding ourselves with things that bring us happiness and inspiration.

This artwork is more than just a visual representation of Cherry Jam; it’s a celebration of her character and everything she stands for. It’s a tribute to the joy she brings to the world of Strawberry Shortcake and the hearts of fans everywhere. As I sign my name at the bottom of the piece, I can’t help but feel grateful for the opportunity to bring her to life in my way. The vibrant colours and playful details capture Cherry Jam's essence perfectly, making this artwork a true reflection of her spirit. It's a testament to the impact fictional characters can have on our lives and the power of spreading positivity through art.

And so, another chapter in my artistic journey comes to a close. But this isn’t the end; it’s just the beginning. There are more characters to illustrate, more stories to tell, and more moments to capture. Cherry Jam is just one piece of the puzzle, a vibrant thread in the tapestry of Strawberry Shortcake’s world. I can’t wait to see where this journey takes me next. Each new creation is a stepping stone towards greater artistic heights, and I am excited to continue exploring and expanding my skills. The possibilities are endless, and I am eager to see where my creativity will lead me next.

[gandhiks]

On Values & Valuation

Since the time I remember I started to think of organization building principles, circa. 2009; I always believed that culture is the hardest thing to build, articulate and imbibe. And as a people-leader, that's the only thing that you can influence. Over the 11-odd years of working in 3 different organizations, I have observed that great cultures out-last great products. It is somewhat articulated in the book "Built to Last" by Collins, Poras - concept of (A) Clock Builders vs Time Tellers & (B) Preserve Core & Stimulate Progress.

The org-wide cultures are even more difficult to articulate because true genesis of a culture is tens and thousands of instance-response pairs which occur on an everyday basis between individuals or small groups (say of 10 or less) which shape up the culture of an organization which is may be 20-individuals strong (my first company); 200-to-2000-individuals strong (my second company) and 400-individuals strong say my current workplace. More recently I started reading & applying principles of Appreciative Inquiry (AI) - which posits that an organization is not a problem to be solved but a work in progress, shaped by communication and interactions on a daily basis. That's the AI which will be useful in time to come I think. It's hard for people from engineering pedigree to think that there is no tangible problem to be solved and that there is no real closure to org-building. That's the hard part, Physics, ah! that's simpler to solve for. ---

Here is an expression of culture articulation based on my observations, adapted from the culture book of the organization I work for and what I took away from it. Creative - It is an extremely crucial quality to have when you're attempting to make a mark and the market/world at large says "you're actually not needed" at first once you think it's the only quality one requires to build an organization - create something, be creative. What's behind this quality, "emotional involvement" - you can not create something worthwhile if you do not think of it all the time and keep acting on it - waking, eating, sleeping - and ideally one should enjoy this process. Ambitious - Being ambitious is needed because it's not just about you but also about others - Ambition, or positive ambition is not for everyone, you can not have the whole organization display equal ambition - yet at some point of time everyone exhibits it and there is no sequence or phase to it, being ambitious is the most abstract of all values. Your why, drives your ambition. Good Judge - This is my favorite. I often read about Judges who decide on many important matters and am a student of jurisprudence - and the number one insight about being a good judge is - extreme isolation. You have to maintain distance to exercise good judgement. You can not be emotionally involved and be a good judge. It is hard to be creative and a good judge at the same time - creativity is kid like, judgementalism is adult like. Diligent - This is making sure that your work output is free of avoidable errors - this is simple - you need to care about your work - else you'd not/never be diligent. This, according to me is a basic value to work anywhere in a team/group of people. Relentless - This one is my second favorite, if you are ambitious for a phase of your work life and are diligent, you will become relentless because the system around you will motivate you to not relent. Sometimes this acts as a contrast to being a good judge. Sense of Urgency - I recently had a classic discussion with my colleague on this, he said bluntly, that "One needs a sense of urgency when no one is putting pressure, when someone is demanding something, everyone will act with sense of urgency" this is an important virtue to have. You will have a sense of urgency if you are creative, ambitious. Customer Focus - This is pretty obvious, shun noise and get things done for your internal or external customer. This is your reason to be in an org. you're serving some customer; with something that they value and may give you what you want in return. Ethical - Knowing what's black and white from what appears as gray and acting in accordance. Accountable - Pretty basic, no need to elaborate much. Aligned - Being aligned to a well articulated mission/vision and need to balance with being reasonably accommodative. Respect for Individual - Not being disrespectful and not tolerating disrespect. Reasonably Accommodative - Being a voice of reason and accepting voices of reasons - irrespective of age, religion, or any other form of social identity. --- In a smaller time-frame you'd get to display 2-4 values at best, and in longer time-frames you'd get to display 4-6 at best. ---- The number two quality which defines a potential leader is the ability of her/him being a good judge. This has been a theme in my recent past, there have been many instances which when I now reflect, makes me confident of being a good judge; the price, social distancing (remember COVID). This comes second to only other quality, of a potent leader, providing energy to a system. I recently applied some of this virtues to decide the school for my kid's admission - the one which displayed a good ethos and showed promise. Based on this, the next blog will talk about valuation, say in 6-months, the other theme of study I have undertaken in the recent past; that's based on good judgement and alignment! Let me know what you, the humble reader of my blog, think of these concepts?

[remembertheplunge]

2007 Murder Trial

October 1, 2007 journal entry in a new journal notebook

The journal begins it’s 31st year.

Jim went to bed at 9pm or so.

I was excited about the trial beginning until I got to court and the client was being difficult. He was charged with killing his wife. Her body was found between the back fence of a motel and a canal bank maybe a quarter mile from our house. The body had been there for about a week before being discovered, so there were issues with time of death. Was my client even in the area at the time his wife died? 

October 2, 2007.  5:47pm

Oh my God. Jury picked  One day!  Stress. FULL!

The client was in a much better mood today and worked with me. Thank God.

I’m exhausted! Wow! My brain needs a break.

8;24 pm

Jim’s being a grump.

I just don’t feel like trialing, my brain is on break.

Trial is tuff.

You’re stuck. Trapped. Vulnerable.

But, it’s interesting. Fun.

Thursday. 10/4/2007. 9:48pm

Got beat up a little by the judge  re: E mail. I’m not proficient with it. Oh well. I’m just a 70’s man..One of the experts I hired to assist in the defense of our case complained about the same thing “You have got to use e mails”.

10/5/2007. 8:19pm

Thank God. 3 days off.

Trial is hard work.

Gruleing

Intense.

9:38pm Jim heads to bed.

It’s amazing how intense trial is. Huge pressure.

10/8/2007. Monday. 9:14pm

Today went well. Best part was, I saw the client. He was happy. I’m getting ready for the closing argument.

I think at this point, the less said, the better in the case. Make your points, or try to, and move on.. Main thing tomorrow: have fun. Concentrate. Le-go. (Let go)

I think that you’ve given it your best shot. You tried.

10/11/2007.  7:31pm

Well. Guess what. I’m the biggest loser. God. All that for the big public hope dashing. Loss (The jury convicted my client of murder)

I love the information, though.

Beyond the emotion is the information.

I actually asked jurors “ How do you think I did?” “What did you think of the case?”

What I learned , I shouldn’t have made an opening statement. 

Sometimes I think that this is pretty lonely work.

Just me and b.

End of entry

Notes:

“B”  was my nick name for my partner Jim. It was short for Honey Bunny. We called each other “b”. Jim and I were together from 1997 until his death from liver failure in 2009. He helped me investigate the above murder case. We walked from our house down to the canal bank where the client’s wife’s body was found to check out the scene.. Jim and I discussed trial tactics. He was in court when the verdict was read.  He lived the experience to a degree just like I did. 

The information I got from the trial experience include trial technique, expert contacts and apparently, in this case, introduction tp e mails in a case! Apparently, e mail s were new to me in Octiober 2007 and I was not to interested in communicating that way. But, the new world of e mails was calling and it was time to jump in. Now I am flooded with e mails. Wish we could return to phone calls and letters. A simpler, quieter life.

[cerealsensei]

One of my goals this years was to start blogging again but i didn't want to go back to my old wordpress blog. So I started up a fresh new blog that you can find on Medium where I mainly talk about music.

I've written four pieces so far but my favorite one is about the Youtube beat making pioneer Boonie Mayfield. Boonie was one of the first hip hop beat makers who I had ever seen create content on Youtube. Now a days you can find hundreds if not thousands of people going crazy on their beat machines but this man was one of the first on Youtube's platform to create that kind of content and he helped birth what's basically an entire sub genre on Youtube.

I've been a fan of his work for years and I never felt like he got his just due or credit. So I decided to write a piece about his career and give him some long overdue flowers.

[homestuckreplay]

Gushers Tasting Notes

(page 974-979)

John is, once again, coming along in leaps and bounds with his sylladex activities. His array of queuestacks (great band name) looks like a circus tent in the panel overlay. Perhaps John is recalling the embarrassing memory of Cirque du Soleil filing a restraining order against his dad (p.253).

But mostly this update is Gushers themed, so let’s get some important historical context. Gushers were created and marketed by Betty Crocker in 1991, a subsidiary of General Mills. Betty Crocker is a fictional character crafted by the company to be relatable to 1920s housewives, and she also makes Fruit Roll-Ups and Fruit by the Foot, so John needs to be careful.

Gushers were originally made in strawberry and grape flavors, but tropical and watermelon have since become popular. Since the start they’ve been made in the famous hexagonal bipyramid (‘grist’) shape. They’ve always been marketed to kids, as focus group testing showed that younger people liked the product far more, and are known for their weird commercials. From 2005-2009 they’ve run the ‘Gushers Re-Do Your Room’ flash game, where players can rearrange furniture and paint walls in a digital bedroom, and get extra items through codes on Gushers packs . The gushers-grist connection and this game being a simpler Sburb makes this a very unexpected, but possibly intentional, Homestuck intertext. In 2009 Gushers are also running the ‘Beware the Gush’ promotion. They’ve created thirteen pieces of web content, accessed by codes on Gushers packaging and ranging from a fake German TV commercial to a Google Maps tie-in, intended for kids to “gush their friends” – the multimedia aspects of this are also very Homestuck, and I bet John is gushing his friends.

I found a mini packet of Gushers in my craft box, so have done a taste test right now instead of relying on memory. Now my favorite candy is Welch’s fruit snacks blue variety bag, so to me Gushers are a pale imitation of the king, but even so I will taste these Gushers like they are a fine wine.

Appearance. Mass manufacturing takes its toll on the Gushers shape. The barest hint of the bipyramid is visible, but these candies have been squashed and battered into near-unrecognizable blobs.

Flavor diversity. The Gushers packet still includes nine candies, the same as in 1991, although the size of the actual candies has shrunk. I got all four flavors, but four blues and only one orange.

Smell. Gushers of all flavors carry a gentle aroma of wax, reminiscent of a basic candle, which makes me wonder how one would behave if set on fire.

Texture. The outside of a Gusher is a homogeneous squeaking silicone with just enough resistance to provide enrichment. The inside liquid is surprisingly cool, resulting in a pleasant contrast in temperature as well as consistency.

Taste. A lick of the Gusher’s smooth outside reveals The green Gushers are fairly sour, with notes of sherbet, while the red have the overt, juicy sweetness of a maraschino cherry. The common blue Gusher’s notes of pineapple and mango conjure ideas of ‘island time’, and the rare orange Gusher dares to suggest bright, ripe clementine.

After effects. Having recently consumed Gushers, I can feel a faint film of sugar clinging to my tongue. I have not begun tripping or suffered any adverse health effects as of (13.4 minutes post consumption) but I will update this post if this changes.

Overall opinion. As the ancient truism states, ‘Gushers don’t gush, they ooze.’ I found that the oozing center of the Gusher best revealed itself when eating the Gusher in two halves, otherwise, the liquid was too engulfed in its prison to come to the forefront. With this in mind, I award Gushers a 7.5/10. I would be cool with getting these for my birthday.

For a moment John considers taking an extended candy break, and honestly he’s earned it. Unfortunately it seems like John may never eat a Gusher again, because he’s realized for the first time that his arch nemesis the ‘heinous batterwitch’ is the mastermind behind them.

In [S] John: Mental breakdown (p.979), John, looking very smart in his new suit actually, is surrounded by pulsing Gushers and definitely-real flavors: Cool Fructose Monsoon, Kiwi Mango Colonic Rush, Wicked Watermelon Groin Injury, Mixed Berry Social Anxiety Disorder, Neon Green Ecto-Facial Blast, Jammin Sour Diabetic Coma, Wild Cherry Apeshit Apocalypse and Ranch Dressing Rampage. (His new box is Massive Tropical Brain Hemorrhage). He looks concerned, then afeared, then terrified and near-screaming, and eventually comes to the conclusion that ‘this is stupid’, accompanied by record scratch.

I do not think this is stupid. I do think it’s notable that John’s had similar breakdowns before when WV has been commanding him, and John doesn’t respond to anything besides the voice shouting in his head. Watching this I wonder if this is a problem John has dealt with more generally – I think there’s a solid argument that John has depression and/or autism, and freezing in the face of a difficult situation could be linked to either of these.

In terms of this specific trauma, John has had food pushed on him to the point of pain or sickness, I find it very believable that he’d physically struggle to eat anything made by the brand he associates that with, even if he knows it’s irrational. Betty Crocker also represents the ideal of the American housewife, someone who devotes her life to cooking and caring for the house and kids. Someone who, due to the expectations on her, might be considered stuck at home. Or something. Dad is filling that role in John’s life so it’s not quite so gendered in their house, and Betty Crocker the cultural idea could be another reminder of a suburban nuclear-family future that John wants to avoid.

On another note, I’ve noticed a few instances of color in the narrative text recently, which has previously always been black. This first showed up on page 919 where Jade takes over the narrative with her speech, finishing with a red ‘<3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’. It happens again on page 934 with the green word ‘ectobiology’, and it’s here on page 978 with John’s ‘WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????????’ in Betty Crocker red. The only earlier examples are page 640 (an embedded image reading ‘SWEET CATCH!’ in green) and page 663 (a link to Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff using red Comic Sans). Based on all this, I wonder if color enters the narrative text when one of the main characters ‘takes over’ and wants to add something. Although these uses don’t correspond to Pesterchum colors, they all seem intended as things the kids are saying or writing, except for ‘ectobiology’, which is so closely associated with John that it’s practically his name.

> John: Search house for non-Crocker branded candy.

[nymphrasis]

Now that I have caught up on your jaw-dropping art I missed, I have an important question.

*Holds out Bowl*

Please may I have some of your AMAZING SKILL AT ART. Even but a drop would be a blessing. Your art is so cute and pretty. You even can do animations and such so well. Nymph you are Godly!!! 😊

VALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL HIHI >w<! This is me when you made such a request!

I 100% WOULD BE WILLING TO DONATE ANY ART SKILL THAT I COULD, HAD IT BEEN POSSIBLE TT0TT!!! Thank you so much, ahhhhhh. Your words are super kind and has already made my day <3!!! I really try the best I could! As for animation, they are still practice but I am happy with how they've turned out nwn! I have already admitted this to a few people, where I have stated for mouth movements I use the example of my own mouth ( See what words cause what direction of openness my mouth goes, see how far the chin goes down depending on how short or long I open my jaws, ect. The thing I did forgot is cheeks being pushed slightly during certain speeches. But that is fine for next time! ). With the Kuruna lemon meme, when her paws was going up, I had to use my own hands to see how to make the paw be folded up and moved back to make it seem like it makes sense xd. I am not aiming for crazier movements yet! I do still need to continue to practice more with simpler stuff first! I do plan to watch animation tutorials to learn other movements! Like something I do want to do is a simple ear flick for Kuruna! But I admittedly am struggling on how to make that look ( Esp considering I have not seen an animated ear that has large inner ear fluff. This case being her soot ear fluff! ). I do want to make the eye on the ear fluff change expression, as a sort of reaction to the ear it is in being flicked! Animation is something I am not super consistent in! It is on and off, here and there. It really just stuck with me because I grew up with Flipnotes ( Like the old 2008/ 2009 DS flipnote release era ) ;w;

I have never been the greatest but I have done practices and used others flipnotes as a teaching system for myself :D! Hence why mouth movement is something I feel best at, but do still need practice on!

That and there was a point and time where I've wanted to animate cartoon! Doesnt matter what type of cartoon ( As long as it isnt incite hatefulness towards a particular group or encourage irl harm. Those sort of stuff. Oh and I dont want to do cartoons that gives out a heavy religion message because, well, I dont believe in those things xd. Funny considering my main story has angels and demons, heaven and hell existing. While I may not believe in them, I dont mind using them in just fun fiction x3 )

But, ah, I am rambling again--

Thank you for the ask, as I just woke up ( Real late ) and it has plastered the biggest of smiles on my face ;;w;; As mentioned earlier, I would love to donate a piece of my art skill, if it were possible ;3;