#2. you stupid

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[sirazaroff]

I dedicate this post to the funniest beef ever

[blueskittlesart]

Dear Big Brother

kind of a sequel to this comic

[flagellant]

yeah we might be brothers in christ but so were cain and abel so shut the fuck up before i decide to find a rock about it

[bostoncreamdonut]

Exhibit A of happy wife, happy life:

[punkitt-is-here]

swear to god ever since bethesda started writing fallout games ive been like this

[vampyrcannibal]

tbh i think by 1911 dutch completely forgot what arthur and hosea's faces looked like

[heartorbit]

searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!

[diamondzart]

I 3D MODELED KIWI SNIPER YES

That artwork by @redmarqar made me lose my shit and I realized that if I don’t turn him into a low-poly 3D thingy right here and now I’d DIE on spot. So I sat down and made this in one evening!

🎷You spin me right round baby right round~~~

🔧Blender 3.6, Eevee render engine. 422 polygons (802 tris). I'm so proud ahaha

If this gets recognition I may even decide to rig and animate him... So please, if you like it, reblogs appreciated!!!

[fukiana]

DRAGON AGE II (2011) dev. Bioware      "You lead me to strange places, Hawke."      "I’ll take you to stranger places than this, just watch."

[mttonex]

DELTARUNE REDRAWS FROM THE NEW NEWSLETTER!!!!!!

(HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY UNDERTALE <3)

[crabussy]

I need to talk about how orcas and giraffes are in the same order in regards to taxonomy. because WHAT. HOW. and also HUH???????

for reference. as humans our order is primates. e.g. chimpanzees. makes sense right? forward facing eyes. omnivores. hair covering our bodies. fingers for grasping. large brains. it MAKES SENSE.

and then you have the order of artiodactyla. this order includes deer, giraffes, bison, sheep, goats, cattle, etc. again, makes sense right? cloven hooves. primarily herbivorous. have horns or antlers. HAVE FOUR LEGS. but SOMEHOW. orcas (alongside whales, dolphins, etc) are ALSO PART OF THIS GROUP?!?!????? the carnivorous entirely aquatic smooth as hell extremely intelligent school bus sized legless marine predator?????????

????????????????? WHAT THE FUCK. I'm extremely upset. I love zoology. sorry one extra fun fact before you go. cows are more closely related to whales than they are to horses.

[not-equippedforthis]

forever mourning how granada holmes never adapted the three garridebs. diabolical. unbelievable, even. 'if you had killed watson you would not have made it out of this room alive' but in brett's frightfully intense and low, biting, hissing voice. the violent, wild stare versus the gentle hand on watson's knee. all of that precarious control getting flung out the window. the humanity of it. gritting my teeth can you fucking imagine.

[sapphicyanli]

park "i'm not gonna do any real flirting, just gonna stare at the woman of my dreams until she noticed my pathetic level of yearning radiating off of my aura and big brown eyes" gyeong sok

[pa-pa-plasma]

love fics where Danny ends up in the DC universe & every alarm goes off at once & the magic users are like "yeah that's the most powerful being in the universe & also possibly super evil we are FUCKED fucked" & the Justice League is freaking tf out trying to find this thing that casually tore a hole in reality & it just cuts to Danny (Fenton) standing in the background blissfully unaware & like "man my life sucks but at least i have this candy bar—" *drops it in a puddle*

[umblrspectrum]

how do lighting and shading work