#2. this one might be a prompt fill not sure yet—memory lane | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thevoilinauttheory · 3 years ago

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Fire

[ FFxivWrite2021 Prompt 2: Aberrant ]

The Five Part “In the Dreams of Ashley” series is done! Go read the others here! {Prelude} {In the Dreams of Ashley: The Wind} {In the Dreams of Ashley: The Fire} {In the Dreams of Ashley: The Water} {In the Dreams of Ashley: The Earth}

[ HEAVY CONTENT WARNINGS - THIS PIECE IS TO EXPLORE ONE OF MY DEEPEST FEARS CONTAINING: mentions of death/blood, regrets surrounding said death, nightmares, detailed suffocation, detailed description of burning to death, suicidal ideation ]

[ also decided to do a music theme this month and all of these will have musical accompaniment lol ]

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To dream that you or someone is being burned alive suggests that you are being consumed by your own ambition. To dream that you are being burned by fire indicates that your temper is getting out of control. Some issue or situation is burning up inside you. If you are setting a fire to something or even to yourself, then it indicates that you are undergoing some great distress. You are at the brink of desperation and want to destroy something or some aspect of yourself.

“So how did you even get here?” Ashley shoved a dumpling into his mouth, having yanked it from the pot as soon as he realized it was ready. Ruta had set up a fire, a large heavy pot on top of it, filled to the brim with broth and vegetables. He didn’t question where she got it, or even how she carried it - though common sense dictated that she borrowed the pot from the fishermen in Isari, as well as bought the food; they *were* set up right outside it, of course.

“Hm?” Ruta had her mouthful already, slurping up what noodles were left in her mouth. It took her a good minute to finish chewing so she could talk; and in that time, Ashley had already taken to swishing thin slices of fish around until they were cooked enough to eat.

“Y’know, get here. Back in the cells, you said you were from Kugane… but, uh… no offense, but.” “Because I’m Xaelic?” “...Yeah, sorry. That’s rude of me to point out.” Ruta only laughed. “Yeah… I left that part of me in the Steppes. I was capable, but… I thought, as a kid, if they’re gonna leave me tied up to a tree, I might as well go my own way. What’s to say that it’s not going to happen again?” “Tied to a tree? Oof, that’s rough.” “Made it all the way to Kugane and ran into some nice folks who thought ‘who in the hells let this child run around on her own!’.” She laughed. “They adopted me. Real nice people.” “They still with you?” ”Hope so, it’s been a few years.”

He stared at the flames, leaning back on his hands after he filled himself up on food - thinking about her words, how everyone he knew would have moved on with their lives without him. “Where’re Colette ‘n’Hunter? They’ve been gone a while.” “I think they went ahead to scout for a boat. We gotta leave in the dead of night, if we want a chance at getting past those pirates. You know how to swim?” “Uuhh… I’m gonna say “I’ll figure it out”.” He laughed. “Grew up in a desert, don’t really have time to learn to swim.” “You might have to! If we have to jump off the boat and swim our way there. I’m sure Hunter wouldn’t mind dragging you with him - guy loves to swim.” “Does he?” “I mean… he’s told me as much, at least.” “Hm.” That grin on her face only told him how much she was judging him. “What! Leave me alone! Stop staring like that, gods, it’s weird.”

“Don’t y’think you’ve been “retired” long enough?” Ashley leaned back in his chair and kicked his legs up on the table in front of him; he stuck the tiniest crumb of paper under his tongue, then closed his eyes. “Nope.” “Kid, you have to *move on*. Shite like this? This happens all the time - you’ve been sheltered way too long--” “Who died and made you th’boss of my life, huh? If I’ve been sheltered, then y’leave me to be the little bitch I am until I’m *ready* to “move on”. You haven’t experienced what I have. I haven’t experienced what you have.” “How’re you going to make any money to live with an attitude like that.” “Off my savings? My life ain’t your business - you can either sit here and enjoy a drink with me, or you can piss off. I don’t care either way, I ain’t working yet.”

He didn’t really need the road down memory lane - but it helped ease the pain, just for a little bit. His boots crunched over the shells and rocks that made up the shores of the Ruby Sea, staring at the water as he strolled. He had always questioned why they had referred to it as “ruby”, there was nothing as brilliant or red about it… back then, of course. He had taken its beauty for granted. The crimson kelp that made up the depths against the sparkling reflections from the sun, everything was so… peaceful. To a degree. He couldn’t account for the Garlean control over the area, and had to be on his toes because of it, but it was nice.

He wished his friends were around to witness it - it was dark when they were able to see it, if one could even call it “seeing”, as much as it was a black pit of unknown they were diving into.

He made a stop in Crick - he wasn’t necessarily welcome, but he wasn’t unwelcome either. They regarded him with impassiveness there, letting him relax as he wished or needed to - which happened to be in front of a fire with a pot attached to it, boiling water. How much longer could he stand to be here? The memories were starting to hurt now, they ached, and suddenly he felt ill to his stomach. That was when he decided it was best to leave, standing up to turn back the way he came - watching the ocean once more with the unevenness of the shore beneath his feet yet again.

There was a fisher’s boat floating in the middle, a small Auri woman casting out a line with a basket of fish next to her. Living a carefree, or… mostly carefree life. Living life as she could, and it seemed she was doing well enough. She turned her head and made accidental eye-contact with him-- those eyes, that face.

“Ruta?” He questioned softly, then smiled brightly and waved. “Ruta! You’re safe! Gods be!” As he watched the woman wave back, his vision blackened - flashes of the body of his fallen friend bleeding out on top of her girlfriend’s, looking behind him as he ran.

The next he knew were flames - and only flames. His whole body was searing, the heat too much for his skin. He tried to pull his foot from the ground, to try and run for the ocean, but he could not move. He stayed in place and it only seemed like the relief of water got further and further away the more he longed for it. It started with his legs, that’s where his eyes turned to next. One foot stood solid in the slowly creeping fount of lava, threatening to take the next one over. What happened? How did he get here? There was no way he would have done this of his own volition, was there? But no, he did - he stepped right into it, a wonder, no, a *knowing* of what the consequence would bring. A solace in knowing that this would be the price he paid for his inadequacies.

Even as he tried to change his mind - tried to scream for help that could not hear him, the fire climbed only higher. All he could do was cry out in pain as he watched his clothes set ablaze, and his skin begin to blacken and peel. The pain of it all, the searing pain of his skin melting from his bones wasn’t even the worst of it; it was the agony of seeing it happen slowly - the scent of the hairs and flesh charring; the popping, bubbling, cracking noises that followed until he was swallowed whole by it. Each scream, each breath, he was forced to swallow the flames until they choked him - then each cough cooked his lungs; his vision was nothing but reds and oranges until it had gone black, and what was left of him could only fall to try and drag itself to an escape out of pure need for survival. Only to be overtaken by the slow and searing pain of pure fire covering the entirety of his body - the last he heard was not the crackling of his bones like tinder, but the paddles of a boat hitting the still water as it passed right by him.

His awakening was a slow one this time, feeling the tears that had dried against his cheek. He woke up next to the flames of the dying fire, left alone by the people of the town around him. He was disoriented, confused. When it finally settled that it was a nightmare, he let out a heavy and relieved sigh.

Not quite the same as the last, but no less painful and terrifying.

#ffxivwrite2021 #prompt 2 #aberrant #about: Ashley Tucker #virtues and vices #was debating on whether or not i wanted this week to be dedicated to maximiloix and caromont #or to do this idea that i've been neglecting while i had the chance to #and was thinking 'maybe i'll have another prompt to do this one'#then i was like #knowing me #i'd lose my chance #so i decided to write this one

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seriouslyhooked · 5 years ago

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Lost Souls and Reveries (Part 19)

22 part AU written for @cssns. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13,Part 14, Part 15,Part 16, Part 17, Part 18. Story available on AO3 Here and FF Here. Banner created by the amazingly talented @shipsxahoy!!

Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to a future he is destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers, but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest). Rated M.

A/N: Hey everyone! After a good while away I am back with another chapter of Lost Souls and Reveries. As has happened in the past, I went to write the chapter I had briefly outlined only to realize I couldn’t accomplish everything in one installment. There’s still quite a bit of story left I have to incorporate, and some loose ends I have to tie up, and hopefully everyone can follow along. For clarity’s sake, just know that the bulk of this chapter is told from Killian’s POV, and at the end there’s another POV. No spoilers, but more will become clear by the end of this this chapter and the next. Also it’s kind of an intense scene that we end on, so for my more light-hearted readers feel free to skip and ask me what happens. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and hope you all enjoy!

“Do we really have to go? It’s not too late to bail. We could go to the beach, or a run in the woods. Ooh, maybe we could get a root canal! That would be great compared to this.”

Killian chuckled at Emma’s commentary as they walked along the lane that lead to her parents’ home. They were en route to a ‘wedding brainstorm session’ with Emma’s mother, and though Killian had known Mary Margaret Nolan for some time now, he wondered if either her or Emma could really be ready for what was to come. For the next few hours, Mary Margaret was undoubtedly going to present them with roughly one million tiny questions about their impending wedding, very few of which would seem to really matter. For Killian, there were only three things he cared about. The first was that he wanted to marry Emma. The second was that he wanted to marry her soon. And the third was that he wanted her to be happy with the wedding. He didn’t give a damn about anything else. If Emma wanted it, she would have it, and that was the end of that. Unfortunately though, Killian knew one thing Emma did not want, and it was all of this over the top planning. His mate was hardly high maintenance, and though she’d talked to him casually about some things she might like for their special day, they were simple requests that mostly aligned with classic traditions.

“Sorry, love. I’m afraid we’ve no dental disasters in our future for the time being.”

“So the beach then?” Emma asked hopefully and Killian smiled as he shook his head. He hated to deny her anything, but at the same time he knew Emma was only teasing. She’d given her word that they would come today, and his love was a woman of character. She never broke a promise, and she always abided by her commitments.

“I promise you, Emma, that as soon as this is done, I will make it up to you.”

He pulled her into his arms as they stopped walking, and instinctively he moved her hair back to get a better look at her admiring her effortless beauty. He could see that her jokes right now were coming from a place of stress, and he meant what he said. Tonight, when all of this was done, he had a plan in place. He’d make them dinner, run her a bath, and then spend the next handful of hours ravishing her so thoroughly that all memory of wedding annoyances would flee her mind. His body hardened at the thought of what he would do with his gorgeous mate, and a low growl emanated from his chest before he could even think to stop it.

“Oh really?” she asked, her initial surprise at his claim soon giving way to lust and want and need that burned hot in her green eyes.

“Aye. We’ll have no wasted days, love. And since this first part might be fatiguing, we’ll have to see to it that the rest of the day is exactly what we want.”

Though they were out in the open and just a few steps from her parents’ home, Killian couldn’t resist running his hands along Emma’s body, and he reveled in the moment where she shivered, as a thrill of anticipation rolled through her. Her eyes dilated, and she wet her lips absentmindedly, and with such an invitation he couldn’t help but steal a taste of his own. When their lips met, he nearly groaned out in relief. Yet though it was painful to break apart so soon, he eventually had to pull back so that they could face the morning’s responsibilities.

“Okay, you win. But the second we can get away with leaving, we’re out of here, got it?” He nodded, prompting a light laugh from Emma before her eyes took on a thoughtful quality. “If we’re lucky maybe we can round up everyone else and have a cookout or a bonfire, then we can get to whatever it is you’ve got planned, which I’m sure will be perfect.”

Killian readily agreed, knowing that as much as Emma loved him, she also loved her friends who were more like family than anything else. He could never resent that, in fact, he embraced it, and he was just as eager to see them and Liam and Ruby. A night with their friends would be well deserved after all of this, he was sure, and he was glad for their new plan as Emma slipped her hand in his again and they made their way to her parent’s house. But as they walked up the front pathway, they heard a booming noise come from the backyard. It sounded like a huge fuse system had just been detonated, followed swiftly by Mary Margaret’s excited voice:

“Oh, David! Isn’t it wonderful? It looks just like how I pictured it!”

“Oh Jeez, better see what she’s got going,” Emma said, pulling him around the house, and though Killian smiled at his soon to be wife’s sarcasm, his smile dropped as soon as they stepped in the backyard.

“What the bloody hell is that?” he whispered and Emma barked out a laugh. But it wasn’t a laugh based in humor. Rather, it was the sound of someone so startled and confounded that they were becoming a little bit manic. Killian could hardly blame her for the reaction.

Because there, staring them in the face, was a light display that was… well, fucking gigantic to put it mildly. It was taller than he and Emma, and it had their names on it along with about a hundred hearts. It was gaudy and loud, and Killian couldn’t imagine there was a building within twenty miles that was suited for such a massive sign. For the moment though it was perched up against the Nolan’s barn, and Killian just couldn’t wrap his mind around why or how it had even gotten there.

“Please tell me you didn’t buy that, Mom,” Emma said, loud enough for her parents to realize they were back here. David, for his part, looked almost amused, and most certainly relieved at Emma’s comment, but Mary Margaret seemed downright perplexed.

“Well no, it’s just a sample. Your grandmother thought it would be best to hold off on any actual purchases. The letters are interchangeable, and the company brought it over for us to take a look with just a small deposit. But it’s so beautiful. I mean, who doesn’t want their name in lights on such a special day?”

“Mom this is supposed to be a small, classic wedding, not a blockbuster movie premiere,” Emma stressed, and Killian was glad they were on the same page, but he knew they’d hit a wall when Emma’s mother’s face fell. She looked genuinely hurt, and Killian knew that would only bring pain to Emma.

“You’re onto something with the lights, though,” Killian said, squeezing Emma’s hand in a sign of reassurance when her head whipped around to look at him. “But maybe something smaller? Twinkle lights would be perfect, don’t you think?”

“Oh my God, you’re so right!” Mary Margaret exclaimed, shaking her head at the sign now as if she’d only just realized how horrendous it was. “Fairy lights would be amazing! Like stars, or fireflies. Oh, there’s so much we could do with those! I’ll call the company right now and let them know.”

“Mary Margaret, maybe that could wait?” David offered calmly. “Emma and Killian are here now. It’s probably best to ask them all your questions first.”

“Right. Good thinking. Anyway, I have some more things to show you guys…”

And boy did she ever. It might have been normal for Emma’s mother to produce a binder with ideas for her only daughter’s special day. But one apparently didn’t do the visions Mary Margaret had justice. She pulled up a large box in a surprising show of strength for someone her size, and from the view alone Killian could see at least six. Given the space inside the box, he would be there were at least a dozen binders in total, and when he looked at David to silently inquire if this was all, Emma’s father gave a slight shake of his head. Bloody hell, they would be here all week at this rate!

Over the next few hours the constant stream of questions and decisions remained ever-flowing. There was no slowing down and no breaks in sight, and Killian for one felt his energy waning. Emma was clearly having the same problem, and with each new query, she leaned against him a little more, her face showing signs that she was more and more fatigued. Indeed, the only person with the stamina for this kind of festive frenzy was his soon to be mother in law. No one else even came close, but none of them had the chance to get off the ride. It just kept going on and on and on.

“So I spoke with the florists and after a little cajoling I finally got them to guarantee any and all arrangements we deem fit. At first they tried to tell me that certain flowers weren’t ‘in season,’” Emma’s mother explained while making skeptical air quotes. “Which is, of course, ridiculous. But eventually they came around. I just need to know what you guys think. I’ve got ten design options for you both to consider -,”

“Wait, ten?!” Emma asked, interrupting her mother who had pulled out her forth binder of the day, aptly labeled ‘Flower Ideas.’ “Mom, you can’t be serious. This is so much work, just for flowers for one day?”

“They’re not just for one day, Emma,” her mother said, sounding almost wounded at the insinuation. “This is going to be one of the most magical days of our life!”

Emma’s father chose that moment to return with water for all of them, after excusing himself from a very lengthy conversation about table settings, and though Killian could see that he wanted to laugh at his wife’s unending enthusiasm, he held it in, and instead cleared his throat and gave Mary Margaret a knowing look.

“I think you meant Emma and Killian’s life, right honey?”

“Well I actually meant…” Mary Margaret looked liable to contradict that statement, but then she read her husband’s face and understanding seemed to dawn on her. “Uh, right, absolutely. It’s your day, one hundred percent. But what you’re forgetting Emma is that while we might only get a few days with the flowers, the pictures are forever.”

“And the memories,” David agreed, coming to sit by his wife and smiling as he took her hand. “No matter how much time passes, it will always be with you. The day you say ‘I do’ to the person who means the most is one of the best you’ll ever know.”

It was heartwarming to see Emma’s parents be so much in love all these years after they had found each other and promised each other forever. Undoubtedly, their love was strong, so much so that Killian believed it rivaled what it felt like to have a fated mate. Who knew? Maybe they actually were mates, but they just didn’t have that precise bond because David’s shifter self had always remained separate from his human soul. Either way, Killian looked to Emma’s parents as an excellent example of what true love and commitment looked like. They were a partnership that was patient but still passionate. Sometimes they acted like kids still, and there had been more than one moment where Emma was embarrassed at how in love her parents still seemed to be, but they had the beautiful benefit of age and a life spent happily together. They were tied together in the best of ways, both standing tall alone, but shining brighter as a couple.

“Okay that is admittedly very sweet, Dad, but you’re not distracting me from this. She just said she has ten choices. As in double digits! And I’m willing to bet anything that’s just for one part of the wedding. There are definitely multiple arrangements, and these ten don’t even cover those, do they?”

Killian bit back a groan when Emma’s mother nodded, but it helped that she at least had the sense to look guilty for the first time all day. For Emma though, this seemed to be a breaking point. Killian felt her tension rise to a new high, and she stood in her chair suddenly. They’d been holding hands throughout this, and she seemed like she might let go, but Killian didn’t want that. Instead he rose with her, and when she looked at him he silently conveyed that whatever she wanted to do, he would back her up. She looked relieved and then directed her frustration back at her mother.

“Look, Mom, I know you mean well, and I love you, I really really do, but this is just getting ridiculous. We’ve been here for hours, answered a hundred questions, and I don’t think we’ve even made a dent in your planning. At this rate I’d honestly rather go to city hall today, with no muss and no fuss.” Despite the fact that her mother audibly gasped and raised a hand to her chest dramatically, Emma continued on. “Because it’s not really about the flowers or the lighting or the silverware, Mom. This wedding is about Killian and I spending the rest of our lives together.”

Emma’s words filled Killian with pride. Yes, he knew Emma’s mother would be hurt in some ways by the sentiment, but it made him happy to know Emma felt as he did. The wedding itself wasn’t the focal part of all of this. It was the marriage and the union between them that mattered most. In his heart, they were more than married already. Mates were forever, in this life, and any lives hereafter. But he did want the traditional human component too. He wanted everyone to know he belonged to Emma, and she belonged to him, but he agreed that the rest of the details, as nice as they may be in the end, didn’t hold nearly as much weight in his eyes at all. Still, as stern as Emma was being right now, he also knew that city hall wedding would never happen. This would all get figured out. It was just a matter of when and how.

“Perhaps we could just take a moment. I think a walk would do us some good,” Killian offered, looking to David for back up. Clearly a little space could be of some use, and David immediately understood.

“I think that’s a great idea. And we’ll be here, whenever you two are ready.”

Emma nodded in agreement, and the two of them set out farther behind the house where Emma had grown up. Despite the agitation that had just been facing them, there was no denying the beauty of this home. As he gazed upon the garden and the lush green land all around, Killian thought of what it must have been like to grow up here. Emma had such good things to say about so much of her childhood, and knowing her as he did, Killian could just picture how it all was. She’d have been here, happy, and peaceful and carefree, reading her favorite stories under the willow tree, running around with her little brother in the open field, and imagining whole new worlds with Anna and Elsa. Though he’d seen pictures, Killian didn’t need them to recall some of those memories. Their being mates meant their souls were intertwined, and so Killian could look upon this place and practically feel the happiness that his love experienced here. It calmed him to be in such close proximity to good feelings, even as the aggravation Emma carried from before still lingered.

“I hate to be angry with her,” Emma admitted, when they’d come to stop under the giant willow that defined this back-yard space. Underneath the hanging greenery, they were sheltered away. A natural curtain separated them from the world, and that barrier seemed to help Emma speak the thoughts that troubled her mind. “I love my Mom, and I love the life she and my Dad game me here. I never wanted for anything. Not for a long, long time.”

Emma’s eyes softened as she looked around this spacious, canopied hide away and Killian followed suit. The tree was old and majestic. It sang a soothing song when the wind cut through the leaves, and it was cool here, shaded by an entity that signaled strength and peace. It was immediately apparent that Emma was familiar with this spot, and Killian imagined she must have come here countless times before. Picturing a young Emma automatically made Killian think of their future children, and more specifically the child on the way. Not that he’d ever really forgotten, but still the rush of remembrance coursed through him in the best of ways. Instinctively, his hand come over where their child was now growing, and Emma hummed out a sound of contentment as her own hand came to cover his.

“There’s no denying that your parents have given you all that they could, Emma, and I hazard to guess that that is what your mother wants now too.”

“I know that. I do, Killian. But the problem is that when we use up all this time on these tiny, seemingly unimportant things, I feel like it’s a waste. Spending time with my mother is a blessing, I know, and there are parts of a wedding we should share, and will share that will bring us both joy, but this roaming around in the weeds thinking about party favors and which specific brand of tea lights to use isn’t that. Time is precious, life isn’t guaranteed, and I want all of us to make the most of every moment we have. Even if I do believe we’ll all have years of them to come, I just…”

Emma trailed off, her eyes casting away from his as she struggled to find the words. Again Killian felt the intensity of their mental link together, and he knew, without having to ask, that she was thinking of his mother. Time was the one thing his mother never had enough of, and knowing that life could be cut short like that made Killian of the same mindset. There was no need to be wasteful. If they could all be happy, then they should chase that, and since his happiness was irrevocably tied up in Emma’s, Killian was determined to see his mate made brighter.

“You just don’t want to live with regret. You don’t want to wake up one day and think that you should have done something different. You want to realize what’s most important while we’re living it instead of after the fact.”

“Exactly,” Emma said, closing her eyes and sighing into him, taking comfort in his instinctual reaction to wrap her up in his arms. “God why can’t you just do the talking? You’re better at it than I am.”

Killian chuckled at that, and when Emma opened her eyes again, they were filled with humor of their own, because they both knew that would never work. He might sometimes have some insights into how to turn a phrase, but between the two of them it was Emma who often saw the way forward. She was as brilliant as she was beautiful, and she had many opinions, all of which he cherished. Still, he understood her meaning now, and he tried his best to offer some solution.

“I think the best way forward is to make your boundaries clear, love. If you only have so much you want to engage with, then that’s what we tell her, and maybe she’ll be even more pleased to plan the rest of it herself.” Emma considered his suggestion, but still looked skeptical. “Of course we would be clear that there are limits.”

“Uh yeah, that’s a must,” Emma replied and Killian smiled, pressing a kiss to her temple as she leaned back against him.

“But your mother, at the end of the day, is a reasonable woman. She knows you have a lot going on. You have work, your friends, the baby…”

“And you,” Emma whispered, looking back to him with a smile.

“Aye, and me. Always.”

The promise was one he had made countless times and meant with all his heart, but this time it moved Emma to a degree that she shifted in his arms, straddling him where he sat before she pulled him in for a feverish kiss. In seconds they were riled to the same place, thoroughly forgetting the world around them. Killian pulled her closer, relishing the way her body writhed against him as her hands clung to him. Close was never close enough for the two of them, and when they were together like this, all outside noise fell away. All that mattered was that they were together, and that in each other they’d found a spectacular new life and love. It was so transcendent to have these moments wrapped up together like this, but then Killian heard the sound of footsteps coming up the gravel path and he pulled back. Emma still appeared dazed from their kiss, her eyes foggy with feeling, and her lips full from having been thoroughly devoured. But in a few moments she caught up with his reasoning, and instinctively she jumped up, straightening out her summer dress before pulling him to his feet just in time for the willow leaves to rustle.

“There you kids are,” Emma’s grandmother stated as she walked under the canopy. “I was wondering where you’d wandered off to.”

It was still very strange to Killian to even think of this woman that way, given how young she was. She looked closer to Emma’s age than she even did her son’s, but appearances had done nothing to lessen her love for David or for Emma. It was clear that time had little impact on Ruth’s devotion to her family. Over the last few weeks she’d been playing catch up on all the years she missed, but already she blended with this tribe of people. And she was dedicated in her role as caregiver. Killian had noticed how loyal she was and how she was determined to smooth things over whenever she could. She appeared to have a magic touch with these things, and Killian began to hope that maybe she could intervene somehow in all this wedding planning.

“How did you know we’d wandered off?” Emma asked curiously and Ruth smiled and shrugged.

“It was only a matter of time, honey. Anyone who knows you and your mother had to see this coming a mile away. She’s a lovely woman – the best partner I could have picked for my son, and the best mother to my grandbabies – but she’s also on a whole different frequency. She’s got so much energy and so much enthusiasm. Well, it just washes everything else away, doesn’t it?”

“It’s exhausting,” Emma admitted and Ruth took Emma’s hand, patting it affectionately.

“I know it is. You’ve done brilliantly trying to keep up, Emma. But I think this is where we put our foot down. I’ll speak with your mother, and we’ll get this all settled.”

“Oh, Grandma, you don’t have to. It’s okay, I can -,”

“Nonsense. It’s my job to protect you, Emma, and right now you’ve got more than enough on your plate. Besides, we both know this might get a little awkward, and I don’t want you or Killian getting in the crossfire. Your mother will come around, but it might take her some time, and better that she be annoyed with me than with you.”

Emma and Killian tried to argue, insisting that they could handle it, but Ruth would hear none of it. Seemed stubbornness was a bit of a family trait, but as she led them back to the yard where Emma’s mother and father were waiting, Killian couldn’t help but feel relief. It was a weight off his shoulders to know that Emma would have an advocate, and though he would have risen to the challenge without any hesitation, he was grateful that it wasn’t him or his bride to be that had to face Mary Margaret’s impending displeasure.

“Mom, I didn’t realize you were here. I thought you went into town for the day,” David said as he saw Ruth leading Killian and Emma back. He stood from his chair, giving her a kiss on the cheek, and she beamed up at him, her hands patting his shoulder affectionately.

“And I did, for a little while. I thought it best to give everyone their space while you did your planning, but I think it’s time I stepped in now. Don’t you?”

The look of shock on Emma’s father’s face was actually rather funny, so much so that Emma giggled softly beside him. Killian looked to her and the light in her eyes said that her grandmother’s approach was helping. She might still be worried about her mother’s reactions, but she wasn’t as anxious or apprehensive as she might have been otherwise. This was a blessing, since stress wasn’t healthy for Emma or their little one.

“Now, I know there is no one more capable of putting together a wedding to remember than you, Mary Margaret,” Ruth said, with real appreciation, “but I think that the best thing we could do for Emma is to make things very easy. If I’m understanding correctly, there aren’t many things Emma really feels strongly about, right?”

Emma nodded, and let out a sigh of relief at how quickly her grandmother had understood her. Killian felt just as calmed by Ruth’s insightfulness, and he watched in amazement as she continued to press forward, working to convince Emma’s mother of some necessary change.

“So why don’t we do this: let’s get the details that matter to the kids and let’s get a list of absolute no-nos as well. That way we have a general idea of what they want and what they don’t want, and we can build them their magical day as part of our gift to them.”

“Us?” Mary Margaret asked surprised. “Like you and me?”

“Yes, I mean if you’ll have me,” Ruth said, offering her hand to Mary Margaret who took it eagerly. “I know it’s not the same, but I’ll always regret the fact that I couldn’t be part of your and David’s special day. This will give us a chance to make some of those decisions, and it’ll help Emma have some peace of mind while she gets ready for her marriage and her baby. She’ll still be involved, but not so hands on, and together we can make something absolutely beautiful that still falls within reason.”

Emma’s mother looked really happy at the thought, until those last few words popped up. Then she tossed a look at David, before replying to his mother. “I don’t tend to do very well at the ‘within reason’ part.”

“That’s okay, we’ll figure it out together, and we’ll keep Emma and Killian updated as much as they want.”

It was amazing to have witnessed this delivery of an idea. Ruth had only been in their lives for a few weeks, but she had a means of talking to all of them in a way that convinced them to see reason and to be empathetic to others. For the first time, Killian felt like Mary Margaret really understood that this was more of what Emma wanted. It dawned on her that Ruth was right. Emma had lots of other things to be thinking of, and fighting with her mother would only add to an already full plate. At the end of the day, Mary Margaret clearly didn’t want that for her daughter, and she was the kind of mother who would do anything for her children.

“Is this okay with you, Emma? I don’t want you to feel like I’m planning your whole wedding. It’s your day, and I know I can be controlling and opinionated -,”

“Let me stop you there, Mom,” Emma said, coming around the table to sit beside her mother. “I appreciate that you want this to be what I want, but I think grandma Ruth is onto something. Killian and I only really care about a handful of things. I want to pick my own dress, Killian and I want to choose our first song, we want to get married here in Storybrooke, and we want to get married soon.”

“How soon?”

“Before the summer is over,” Emma said, looking to Killian who grinned and nodded.

“All right, and the rest you want to leave to me?” her mother asked and Emma smiled.

“I do. I know our tastes can be different sometimes, but you know me, Mom. I trust you to create not just a beautiful wedding, but one that represents Killian and I. Grandma’s right. There is no one better to plan that then you, and it’ll be a lot less painful of a process if you just follow your own thinking and can go at your own pace.”

Everyone waited with bated breath to see if Mary Margaret would actually respond well to this new idea. There was a chance she might still feel slighted or upset, but when her face lit up with a genuinely happy smile, Killian and Emma breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed they’d actually managed to handle this, and they owed so much of that new found peace to Emma’s grandmother. With a few more quick, overarching questions, about colors and basic thematic elements, the five of them were done and Killian and Emma were left wondering what to do with the rest of their day. Before they had a chance to decide, however, an unexpected party made up of their friends and the rest of their family walked through the back gates of the Nolans’ home.

“Surprise!” Ruby said with a mirthful grin as she wielded a large red pot in her arms. Graham was beside her, carrying at least four of his own containers in an attempt to ease Granny’s load, and behind them were Anna, Elsa, and Liam who all held their own unanticipated offerings too. “It’s a beautiful day, and we were thinking it might be perfect for a barbecue.”

“What a great idea!” Emma’s mother agreed. “And your timing is brilliant. We’re just finishing up.”

“Oh I know,” Ruby said, reminding them all that her visionary gifts often came in hand in cases like this. “It was touch and go for a bit there, but thank god for Grandma Ruth, huh?”

“You have no idea,” Emma agreed, as she grabbed some of the supplies Ruby and the others brought with them before she turned, with a twinkle of mischief in her eye. “Oh wait, actually you do.”

Killian watched as Emma laughed with her friends, a group which now thoroughly included Ruby. It was like they’d been close for years instead of only a few months, and the four of them were predisposed to sharing only good moments together. Ultimately, they went into the house, all of them clearly well pleased with the way the day was turning out, and that was all Killian could ask for. Before she was fully inside Emma tossed one last smile his way, and he grinned, glad that despite how rocky things had been before, his love was now in a much better place.

“You look happy, brother,” Liam acknowledged as he approached and Killian nodded, knowing that Liam’s comment was by no means inaccurate.

“No happier than the Sherriff here,” Killian said motioning to Graham, who walked beside Liam. “Surprised to see you here, Graham.”

“Why would you be? Tink can handle the town well enough on her own. And Ruby is here, so I am too.”

“Sorry, I should have been clearer. I meant I was surprised to see both of you. Ruby hasn’t been uh… let’s call it sociable of late.”

“Aye,” Liam agreed, immediately joining in on Killian’s ribbing of their cousin’s new mate. “It was made clear as day after Ruby helped Elsa cast her spell that you’d both be taking a long, long time away.”

“And we will be,” Graham said confidently, his eyes sparkling in a way that so equally matched Ruby’s it was no surprise they were mates. “But things need to settle first.”

“Settle?” Killian asked. “How much more settled can they get?”

“Beats me,” Graham replied with a sigh. “But my girl knows what she knows. She says soon, but not yet, and I have to trust she knows best.”

Killian respected that response and figured that he and Liam had given Graham enough grief. He was family now, after all, and there was nothing more worth protecting and preserving than family. “As to your original question, brother, you’re right. I am happy. I’m happier than I ever believed possible, and I have a feeling you share my sentiments.”

Liam nodded, his own smile still more reserved after years of the emotional drain that had been caused by his sickness. Since Elsa completed the magical bond between them a a couple of weeks ago, Liam had been rapidly on the mend, but Ruby assured them all that it would take time for Liam to be truly acclimated to something like normalcy again. Not that being magically bounded to a witch who was also your mate was normal, per se, but Killian still understood the meaning.

“I only wish Elsa would rebound faster. What she’s been through to save me…” Liam trailed off, the burden of Elsa’s sacrifice clearly weighing heavily on him.

“Has the bonding not taken like it should?”

“No, it was seamless. Elsa saw to that,” Liam said with pride, and Killian bit back another smile as he waited for Liam to elaborate. “It’s just her sleep.”

“Ah,” Graham said, like it was suddenly so clear. “Well that’s easy, humans need more sleep than shifters. That means as much as you might want to keep her up -,”

“I’m not keeping her up,” Liam growled defensively, though Killian was past the point of being afraid of his elder brother’s actions. Despite being frustrated with the implication that he was the cause of his mate’s suffering, Liam was fine and not truly angry with Graham. “It’s her nightmares. They’ve been bad for the past week. She’s been restless, and even on the nights when I think she’s found sound reprieve, she wakes just as tired as when she went to bed.”

“Nightmares? Like the ones she was having before?” Killian asked and Liam nodded. “But I thought those were about you trying to find me or being her mate.”

“They were. These are different, but Elsa says the same darkness sticks with her when she wakes. Just now instead of waking up from blackness, she says she’s been seeing red.”

“Red?” Killian echoed, a sense of uneasiness creeping in at his brother’s confirmation.

“Brighter than blood, was how she put it.”

“Kind of a weird way of phrasing that,” Graham muttered, but Liam disregarded him.

“She says the color is unnatural, and that this particular hue seeps all through the dreams. Monsters with red eyes and a lust for blood. Some of them are trapped, and some roam the forest, searching for something, but all of them terrify her,” Liam said, and Killian felt a chill snap down his spine, a very real trickle of fear coloring his recently more stable world.

“Well damn, no wonder she’s tired. That shit sounds awful.”

“It does,” Killian agreed, almost without meaning to, his mind wandering back to his own remembrances of eyes that repulsive and frightening.

“Meanwhile I can do nothing to stop this. I’d protect her from anything the world over, but how could I possibly ward this off? I have no control of dreams, and it’s starting to drive me mad, which is probably only making her worse.”

“Does she think they’re visions?” Killian asked.

“How could they be? Red eyes? What shifter species has those? None I know of, and none we read word of in her family’s archives. No, I think this is a symptom. My lingering darkness is somehow spreading to her, but when we talked to Ruby she said that the future she can see still looked the same, and in that future we’re both healthy and well.”

“But clearly Ruby’s sight isn’t as infallible as we once thought,” Killian responded, and now Liam and Graham looked at him quizzically.

“Maybe not, but if she says we’re fine and she knows that for sure then certainly that means something.”

“Why didn’t you come to me?” Killian asked, his voice edgier than he intended. Liam’s eyes widened slightly in surprise.

“Come to you with the nightmares of my mate? I didn’t think it necessary. You and Emma have enough going on. Between showing her how to shift, preparing for your wedding, and the pup on the way, I figured you didn’t need the hassle. Besides, I know my Elsa. She would never wish to add more burden to Emma’s life, not after everything they’ve gone through.”

“They were scarlet,” Killian whispered, and Liam now looked thoroughly confused. “I’ve seen scarlet colored eyes on a shifter before.”

“You have?” Liam asked, immediately on alert. “Where, brother?”

“Boston. Emma saw them too.”

Killian recalled what he could of that night, though it felt like he had gone through the story a thousand times in many ways. It dawned on him as he was telling it though that Liam had never heard the full account, as least not from Killian or Emma, the two who had actually experienced that unusual night. Elsa must have heard it all, but now he wondered if Emma had included those little details. If she had it clearly hadn’t stuck with Elsa, but then again the idea of these eyes wasn’t horrible and gruesome until one saw them in the face of a snarling, ruthless animal.

Just as he’d finished explaining the still mysterious nature of the attack years ago, the back door burst open, and Killian turned to find Emma leading the women out of the house. Gone was her easy demeanor from before, and now it was replaced with worry, a worry that he immediately wanted to fix, but wasn’t sure how.

It’s not just dreams, Emma’s mind pushed towards him through their mated link, her face portraying the pain of accepting that terrifying though. Then she decided to speak aloud so everyone could hear. “They’re visions. Definitely visions.”

“Aye, so it would seem.”

“So much for normal, huh?” Emma asked in a whisper as she came to hold him, trying to find comfort in his arms when a new wave of fear had descended. Though he wished he could tell her that it would all be okay, and that there was no more pain or uncertainty ahead, Killian knew that likely wasn’t true. Whatever these visions meant, and wherever things were going, it seemed they had more darkness standing in their way. But he’d be damned if he didn’t fight it all off and overcome it for their future. They’d handle this, just as they’d weathered every storm up to now, and no matter what it took, Killian swore to himself and to Emma that he’d keep her and their family safe at all costs…

………….

Don’t shift. Don’t shift. Whatever you do, don’t shift.

The familiar voice in his head that belonged to his bear had been growing weaker day by day, increasingly drowned out by the menacing, discombobulated thoughts of something darker. Something ruthless. But tonight there was a desperation and a last display of strength behind his animal’s spirit that Kristoff hadn’t heard before. It was like a final cry of hope, but it felt useless to be hopeful here. Trapped as he was in this cage underground, ripped away from his home and the life he knew before, Kristoff had been losing more and more of himself during this stint in captivity. Whatever the man in the mask was pumping into his veins was slowly driving him crazy, but he had to fight. Even if it was inevitable, he’d fight with every fiber of his being before he’d ever sink willingly into this dark abyss.

“Ah, still trying to deny what must now come,” a voice said, sounding through the bars in an even, unelevated way.

He recognized it as the voice of the man who was in charge of this place. He was the one responsible for all this terror, and the tone of his words reflected that. He was cold, calculating, and yet self-satisfied in a way that made Kristoff’s skin crawl. A twinge in his voice spoke to malicious intent, and if evil was ever to incarnate into human form, this guy was definitely in the running for what it would look like.

“It’s all for nothing, of course. You will, ultimately, give in as all the others have. But I can’t help but wonder at your power when you do. You’re a grizzly, after all, one of nature’s largest abominations, and your resistance to this point… well I have to believe it’ll make your eventual surrender so much more complete. Yes, you’ll work fine. A weapon befitting the task at hand.”

“What’s so damn important?” Kristoff asked. “You keep talking about a weapon, and I can smell there’ve been others here, others you’ve tortured like me. What the hell is your endgame?

The man laughed, and the sound was toxic and scratchy, almost causing Kristoff to wince. Then he walked to the edge of the cage, his body mere inches from the bars as he sneered out a response. “If I had my way you’d all be dead. There’s no worth to shifter life. You are all nothing. Worse than nothing. You’re a plague, a plague brought upon the world to be remedied, and at last I’ve found my way to do just that. What I’ve given you is so much more than you can fathom, it would leave your feeble mind gasping for air to even conceive of it.”

“Try me,” Kristoff said, staring down his captor while doing his best to use his other senses to figure out a way out of here. He just had to get to the gate fast enough to kill this man. He must have a key somewhere, and once this ass hole was dead then maybe Kristoff could be free.

“We don’t have time. You’re ready for your final dose, your last descent, so to speak. You won’t withstand another injection. The sickness will take you then, and this will keep you in line.”

The man pulled a giant, bear sized collar out from behind his back, and even from this distance Kristoff could smell the dark magic attached to the thing. It smelled of death and decay, and it explained why Kristoff had sensed magic nearby. It was strange though - so far things here had seemed almost clinical, but maybe this monster of a man was more than human. A warlock perhaps, or -

“Either way, you should be grateful,” his captor snapped, drawing his full attention back to the fateful moment at hand. “For now you will help cleanse the world of its surest darkness. There’s just one thing left to handle.”

“And that is…?”

The question hung between them in the air, and his captor only smiled the line of his lips forming a menacing, malicious sneer. Then he pressed something on the other side of the wall that Kristoff couldn’t see, and the familiar sound of the floor giving out from under him prompted his body to spring into action. He sought to avoid the trap this time, but there was nowhere to go. He was caught, and before he could even begin to formulate a way out of this, he felt the sharp prick of the needle. He’d failed to stop this mad man, and now it was too late. His pulse was rushing, his mind became frenzied and unglued, and as reality faded into oblivion, all he was left with was a blinding, seeping, sickening sense of red.

Post-Note: So there we have it. Obviously, this is opening another can of worms, but I know a few of you mentioned in the beginning of the story that you were curious what the red eyes meant on the shifter that attacked Emma and Killian. I didn’t just forget about that, and it definitely wasn’t a throw away detail, even if it happened a long time ago. It’s been part of my larger story vision since the beginning. You’ve probably started to piece together some of the parts of the puzzle, but rest assured, next chapter will give a lot more clues as to what exactly is going on and what it all means for CS and the others. Anyway, as always, I am so appreciative of you all reading. It means the world to me to have you all continuing on this story journey with me, and I really hope you’ve enjoyed the chapter!

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