#2 hour tracks per song

[theedivinemacadelic]

great i am glad we have all come to this agreement, and you all agree with me. let us join hands and manifest

[legendofthe3divas]

me core fr

[jamielovesmychem]

My big mcr5 conspiracy thread guys

All composed from what I spammed my friends with

So mcr just announced a North American tour, however some people suspect that they might be going to release another album. I also believe this due to the odd cryptic nature of the things they’ve been posting, even after the tour was announced.

For example, this picture of a dog captioned “good boy”, which was posted well after the tour was announced (16 hours ago)

There is also a new private/unlisted video on their YouTube channel which hasn’t gone public yet, just like the announcement. Unlisted videos show on the number of videos available on a channel. This just went up. It had gone up by 1 for a while before the announcement went public even when it was unlisted. (I learned this from someone in the mcr tumblr community but my screenshot doesn’t contain the account name and I can’t find it, if this is you please tell me and I’ll credit you)

On the topic of the announcement, it contained a lot of recurring characters from Gerard’s 2022 tour outfits. It is said on the promotion not that my chemical romance will be performing the black parade, but that the black parade themselves will perform. The concept of the album is that death comes for you in the form of your strongest memory, which in the patients case was a parade that was most likely ww1 propaganda, and the gap between the black parade and right now is close to the gap between ww1 and ww2. This has lead some people to believe that the band will be performing a new album set near ww2 as the black parade. The trailer shows a ww2-esque scene which would back this up.

Plus, at the end of the video there is paper falling from the sky in front of a kingdom, which might allude to The Paper Kingdom, the original, scrapped 5th my chemical romance album.

This is also slightly backed up by the odd typography used throughout the promotional of the tour, like in this post captioned “if you could be anything, what would you be?

This typography has been shown to spell out K, T and P in another script, rotated (Russian I think??) which is TPK backwards, or the paper kingdom (MCR5!!!!)

And it is not abnormal for them to spell things backwards, they’ve done that before so it’s not completely conspiracy level, like how they wrote my chemical romance backwards in the corner of the foundations of decay (their most recent single and the only thing they’ve released since the reunion).

Plus, the typography doesn’t really look like it spells mcr, suggesting they are alluding to something else.

Under an hour ago, they posted this with the caption containing “long live”.

Some people think that the new album could be performed by the characters of the black parade and called long live. If this is true then the band could even be performing as these 4 characters depicted below (like in danger days!!). However, this could just be tour promotion.

Promoting an album also takes about 2-3 months and the tour lasts about 3 months (the perfect amount of time to promote an album in!) and contains ten shows. I have seen people saying that they could even tease a track per show!!

This is all speculation obviously, however I don’t believe mcr would have a reunion just to drop one song and go on a couple of tours. I think they will drop more new music sometime soon and I’m sooooo excited!!

[noneorother]

The secret timeline inside of Good Omens season 2 revealed, *part1*

Part 1 l Part 2

If you’ve ever watched a ballet or an opera, you know how the rhythm in the music is used throughout to determine not only the movements of the dancers, but also when lines are sung or spoken. This is almost unheard of in television, but what if I told you it was hidden in season 2 of Good Omens? If one were to, say, meticulously cut together only the scenes set in the present day into one big timeline, you would get one long video that is exactly 2 hours 22 minutes 00 seconds and 00 frames long. An ineffable cut that is so perfect it defies all logic. (I’ve burnt a timecode into this ineffable edit to help pick up the rhythm.)

Even though there are large swathes of the second season with no music, there is a constant tempo weaving its way through the show: What if the seconds ticking by in the runtime itself was the music? Here’s an example of what I found. Behold a supercut of every single time Shax shows up, or Hell is mentioned in series 2 in the ineffable edit. They always arrive on a 6 in the time stamp (ex: 00:XX:X6).

(SOUND ON is an absolute must here, otherwise you won't hear any of the triggers)

Shax rings Crowley on a XX:X6. Shax miracles herself into the car on a XX:X6. Shax knocks on windows on a XX:X6. Shax’s big scary moment at the bookshop happens at 66 minutes exactly (lol). Crowley calls out for Shax on a XX:X6. Beelzebub starts spewing flies on a 6. People mention hell and it’s always on XX:X6 etc. etc…(Bonus: I also left in Maggie flipping the damned the double-bird on a XX:X6) I’ve also left in the only appearance of Shax or hell at all in the whole series that isn’t tied to a six: the park bench scene with Crowley. Shax seems to be off by one line, showing up on a XX:10, then back to XX:X6 on her second reply: “Bills, mostly”. I can only theorise that this scene, while technically in season 2, is not supposed to *be* in season 2 (even just judging by the trees, sun and the overcoats, it’s not summer like in the rest of the season). And it’s not only sixes! Every time I go through I find more and more little beats that line up exactly with ineffable timings. I can only do one video per post, so I’ll have to cut it up into sections, but Gabriel, doors, car horns, bird calls, Aziraphale, food, drinks, Angels, dialogue, Maggie, Nina, jokes, clocks, bells… The list goes on and on. 

Neil called this season “The bridge”

Because we all know how much Neil loves double meanings and wordplay, I just have to ponder the idea that when Neil said this season was “the bridge” between seasons 1 and 3, he meant it double-literally. First, as in the bridge Aziraphale and Crowley have to cross in order to get them into position for the second coming. We even see the physical manifestation of this bridge leading everyone in the background of the opening credits. But this season is also a bridge in the sense that it’s a musical section that introduces new ideas or material in the middle of a song. This whole season is the music that deviates from the familiar, and re-contextualizes the chorus and the verses so we can appreciate them in a new way. 

Let’s not forget that 2:22 is also exactly the same timing as this (and only this) track from the good omens s2 album (read all about the soundtrack here):

Why is this so bonkers? I think GOS2 might be the first ever “Total” series of television.

Having everything in the series timed and choreographed would actually make it a very faithful adaptation of the Powell & Pressburger film The Tales of Hoffmann (read about the movie and it’s effect on all of s2 here). If you watch the tales of Hoffman, you will realize that the entire film is actually done more like animation, with the music and vocals all performed in a studio, mixed and edited first, and then the actors came back to act out their choreographed and lip-synched parts for the cameras afterwards. The result is "Total film": a movie that feels more like a ballet, with every movement, action, and line happening in time with the music. As far as I can tell, very few films have ever attempted this, with The Tales of Hoffmann and Playtime being the only two “complete” films I could find in this style. (The Red shoes has one section, and An American In Paris has a few)

“Why would ambitious filmmakers simply film an opera? Many admirers of the work of Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger have assumed that their decision to make The Tales of Hoffmann (…) was in some way an admission(…) that they couldn’t go on making their edgy, over-the-top melodramas after the rejection and interference they’d suffered, (but) there’s a case for considering The Tales of Hoffmann as one of the finest and boldest works that Powell and Pressburger produced, so far ahead of its time as a wholly “composed” film... Late in his life, Powell himself said that he thought it was one of the best films that he and Pressburger had made.” - Criterion review, Tales of Hoffmann

Here’s a simple example from An American in Paris

If season 2 *is* scripted and choreographed to line up with specific timings, I’m pretty sure that would make this the first ever “total” or “composed” season of television ever attempted. Not only does this take an ASTOUNDING amount of planning, scripting and editing finesse, not to mention a completely controlled set, it takes a real understanding of how to perform as an actor using rhythm and metre, which would go a long way to explain why all of the main actors coming back for season 2, with the exception of John Hamm, are well regarded theatre performers, (especially of Shakespeare).

I’ll leave you with one last surprise I found in the discovery of the ineffable edit: remember Aziraphale’s smile at the very end if the credits? It happens on 02:23:03, as the first step off the bridge, and into season 3.

I will have much more in the next ineffable timeline post. Stay tuned…

__________________________________________

Thanks for reading all the way to the end. It’s taken me a solid month to get this perfect. There are so many hidden cuts and jumps to take into account, and I had a frame rate issue that kept exporting to 29fps instead of 25fps, but I’ve finally nailed the ineffable timeline enough that I am confident sharing in it.

Credits to @thebluestgreen and @embracing-the-ineffable for all the support and help with editing and just general good vibes. 

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Everyone Else Is No.2 {One-Shot}***

Lewis Hamilton x Attorney Friend Reader

Warning: Cursing, NSFW, Mature 18+ Content, Angst, PLENTY OF WORDS, DIALOGUE HEAVY

Words: 15.2k

Summary: Again, nah.

Note: Inspired by that old August Alsina song "Kissing on My Tattoos". So sorry for how long it is and for the long sentences toward the end, it couldn't be any other way. Forgive the weird spacing throughout, Tumblr has a 1,000 block limit per post, and guess who reached it before correcting the spacing.

Note II: Really interested in hearing what you guys think about this one. Let me know.

As always, thank you guys for reading! I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this.

If you did enjoy this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

-Y/N-

"You're beautiful you know that right?"

You smiled and took a sip of your drink.

"Thanks."

The man sitting across from you, Darius, nodded and before he looked down to his plate you caught his eyes drop to your cleavage. Of course, you thought. This was your 2nd date with him. The first went smoothly though you'd went with little to no expectations for it to be so. Tonight, he said the right things, did the right things, and was the perfect gentleman.

He'd even chosen a great restaurant. The ambiance was perfect for a second date. So far you had only counted 2 things that were less than satisfactory, everything was on point. He was so on point that you wondered if he was acting and not being his genuine self.

You hated the dating scene. Everyone held their cards too close to their chest. No one was ever real about anything. Everyone liked to waste people's time all in the name of fun and sex. These days you only treated dating as a pastime and a way to relieve stress after long hours of working on briefs and reviewing case files.

"A woman with your track record in law. Wheeew. Was it hard?"

You shrugged then wiped the corner of your mouth, "It definitely wasn't easy. I still remember the sleepless nights, and times when I only had 1 meal a day. My parents still remember not seeing me for 3 months because of the bar and my first major case that came nearly right behind the other. They won't let me forget it."

"It looks like it paid off. You're on the partner track. Shit, you'd be the first woman under 35 to make that happen at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw," Darius said.

You bristled, but politely smiled and took another sip of your wine.

"I'm sorry I don’t mean to make this weird I'm just in awe of you."

You studied him for a few moments but found no lie. You could always tell a lie. No matter what the case, no matter who it was. It was your secret weapon and it served you well as a lawyer.

"Thank you, but enough about me. What about you? Tell me about Darius Forrester."

He smiled, licked his lips then looked you directly in the eye.

"I'm pretty much a what you see you get kind of guy. I've been at Berry & Clark for the last 6 years as a criminal attorney. The work is challenging but I do alright for myself.

You nodded. He did. From what you heard his win ratio was nearly 92% and he took upstanding cases. He was a good attorney. Normally you wouldn’t shit where you ate because mess was not your style. You did not want to walk into a courtroom or boardroom and see the opposing counsel was an ex. That one thing gave you nightmares.

So dating lawyers was out of the question. You dipped in every other career field, playing it safe. The further they were from a law career the better. However, after a conversation with your other lawyer girlfriends about limiting oneself in the already limited dating pool, something clicked, and you decided to try it once but only if they weren't in your firm. Darius was your first attempt.

As he continued to tell you facts about himself you listened, but he didn't have your full attention. There was another person who held your attention, a person who though was usually out of sight was never really out of mind.

You heard your phone sound from your clutch resting on the table and both your eyes shot to it. Darius spoke before you moved.

"Go ahead please."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm an attorney as well, Y/N I know you come attached to it."

You smiled, held up your finger to him silently promising it would be quick, then took your phone in hand. You expected it to be Kemi, your paralegal, with files you were expecting, but it wasn't her name on your screen.

MSG Lewis: What're you doing tonight? Going over an endless to-do list of contracts and briefs?

You smirked.

MSG: Not even close.

MSG Lewis: Wow did someone finally decide to live a little and cut loose?

MSG: This sounds an awful lot like the pot calling the kettle black.

MSG Lewis: Plead the 5th.

MSG: The Lewis Hamilton out maneuvered. Say it ain't so.

MSG: I'm close to your place. Just got back in town. Can you be ready in 10?

Your eyes flitted to Darius across from you who was taking the time to check his messages as well. You looked over him slowly, noting again how great he looked in his suit and how you liked the effort he had put in the last 2 dates down to the flowers he brought you and the activities you'd done. Things could progress if you chose to allow them to.

MSG Lewis: Is that a no?

MSG: I'm not home.

MSG Lewis: Okay. Where you at, the office? I can come pick you up.

MSG: I'm not at the office. I'm actually on a date.

You waited a few seconds, but he didn’t reply. Why didn't he reply?

"Everything ok?"

Caught off guard, you looked back up to Darius whose eyes were already on you. His brows were knitted with concern.

"Uh--yeah. I uh--I think so."

"A case?"

You thought about it and technically he was right. You were Lewis' entertainment lawyer. You were his personal attorney who reviewed the contracts after the company attorney said they had. You gave it to him between the eyes, never sugarcoating, and told him what was made with his best interest and what was made to capitalize off of him. However, when your services weren’t needed you were friends. Had been for practically a decade now.

Sometimes you couldn’t believe you’d known each other that long. You’d known him since he was just another F1 driver rather than the greatest. He knew you when you were going through school always on an empty tank all in the hopes of rising above the tax bracket you were born into. A decade later and he was dominating F1 and you’d more than risen yourself several levels past the tax bracket you’d been born into.

You were on the partner track at one of the largest firms in Europe. You brought in more revenue than most of the attorneys at the firm thanks to your high-class clientele. You'd both worked your asses off to get to this level and enjoyed the spoils of your labor often. You clubbed together, went to dinner, and sometimes did the vacation vibe together. You enjoyed one another’s company.  

"A client."

"Oh. Everything cool or---," Darius said.

Another message came in just then. "Everything is cool."

Darius smiled. "Good. I'll be right back, men’s room."

"Yeah."

Darius stood then walked off leaving you with the perfect opportunity to check your phone.

MSG Lewis: Is that right?

MSG: Yeah. 2nd date. Well technically 3rd if you can have 2 dates in one day.

MSG Lewis: Cool. Is it going well?

MSG: Yeah. He's made it this far.

MSG Lewis: Cool.

MSG: When he drops me home Ill text you. Come get me then.

Several moments passed before he replied. Again, you wondered why.

MSG Lewis: Cool.

The remainder of dinner you were distracted. Darius played all his cards right, even scoring himself the green light on a little hand-holding action. You had to admit he was smooth. When he pulled up to your condo building he walked you to your door then went in for a kiss. You hadn’t expected it, but rather than pull away, you allowed it to play out. It wasn’t a bad kiss. He hadn’t been too overzealous, only slipped you a little tongue, and had kept his hands respectful. All in all, for a first kiss it was a solid 8.

With a promise to call to set date number 4 sometime next week, you went inside and allowed yourself to come down. The dating scene was not something you enjoyed often. You always felt like you were performing, like men wanted a certain kind of woman, the perfect woman who they could prance around on their arm to make other men envious and that took its toll.

You never felt you had to perform with Lewis. Never felt like he wanted the perfect you. He made fun of you whenever you were perfectly put together for work meetings and said many times he liked you out of the makeup and heels. After another sigh, you took your phone out and texted him.

~~~~~~

-Lewis-

The ceiling looked like every other ceiling he’d ever seen but that didn’t stop him from focusing most of his attention on it like it was the most interesting piece of construction ever. His eyes should have been focused elsewhere but they weren’t. A loud 'slurp' echoed in the mostly quiet room reminding him again that he wasn’t alone.

"Mm. Why are you so distracted tonight, bae?"

Julissa's voice was as smooth as honey and as seductive as ever. He lowered his eyes to where she was kneeling between his legs and took her in. Her lips and chin were wet as she gave him her bedroom eyes. This was not the first time between them. Usually, it would work but not tonight. Tonight he was struggling to even keep his head in the room.

He watched her tip her tongue out and lick from the base of his dick to the glistening tip. Once there she swirled her tongue around him then sucked his head into her mouth. He’d have to be dead for it not to feel nice but that’s all it was--nice.

He sighed then brought his attention back to the ceiling. "Work."

"Aw babe, when you’re with me work should be the last thing on your mind," Julissa said before lowering her mouth down his shaft. When he felt her tonsils he groaned. His body wanted to like this wanted to give her the reaction she was working so hard for, but something was holding him back. Julissa's mouth bobbed up and down his cock sucking and slurping to her heart’s content trying to get him off, but he knew she had her work cut out for her.

He thought back to your text from 2 hours ago. You were on a date. Well shit, he hadn’t seen that coming. That was the last thing he had expected you to be doing tonight. It wasn’t because you weren’t desirable, or he thought no man would want you. For fuck's sake, you were beyond desirable, you were gorgeous and so damn intelligent. He couldn’t figure out which of those made you more beautiful, your looks or your brains. You also worked hard to be where you were, and you deserved all the praise and attention you got wherever you went.

However, sometimes he wished you got a little less male attention--x that, a lot less male attention. He sighed again. This had been going on for 10 years now. Your friendship had only strengthened but along with a strengthening friendship came a lot of other stuff. Stuff like him taking notice of the fullness of your hips or being tempted to peek when you’d been changing in the backseat of his car, or being painfully aware of how your breasts felt against his chest when you hugged.

That coupled with things he had picked up from you, made the unspoken and ignored things that much more—confusing. There were times when the way you stared at him when you thought he wasn’t looking spoke volumes or the way your hand always lingered on him for a few seconds longer than necessary but not long enough for it to be inappropriate, or the time you'd fallen asleep together on the couch and he'd woken to you wrapped around him using him as your personal body pillow and mumbling his name in your sleep.

Yeah, there was a lot of extra stuff, stuff neither of you ever addressed. The only ones who assessed it were his friends. Miles told him on several occasions that he should be careful before he or you fucked around, and someone ended up hurt. That stuck with him, but not in the way Miles had probably meant it. Rather than taking it the way Miles meant, he used it as a means to keep himself in check, a form of prevention from him crossing the line. He knew if he did, neither of you would be able to go back. It would be impossible and was one fuck up worth a decades-long friendship?

So friends were where you stayed until he added another facet--professional. Years passed, dates passed, flings, non-labeled encounters on both your parts passed and through it all your friendship remained, and nothing changed. Except today there was even more extra stuff.

The feel of Julissa’s lips wrapped around his balls sent his hips jerking upward as a curse left his lips. Julissa moaned and giggled.

“Daddy likes that?”

He knew how he would like it more. As quickly as he revved to that thought he steered away from it. That was when his phone sounded.

MSG Y/N: I’m home. Whatdaya you wanna do? Should I change?

His eye caught the time. 1am. Almost 3 hours from your last text and you were only now getting home. Clenching his jaw he took a deep breath. He had no right to be mad or annoyed right now. He knew where this was coming from. You’d been on a date, and you said it was going well. A date going well had a chance of making it upstairs. He closed his eyes squeezing them tightly. He hoped to God that you hadn’t just gotten it in.

MSG Y/N: Hello?

MSG: You don’t have to change. How about some treats and a view?

MSG Y/N: Okay. Still 10?

MSG: Make it 15.

Pulling himself up he reached down to stop Julissa. She looked confused.

“I gotta go J.”

Now she looked even more confused. He didn’t owe her an explanation, that’s not how this worked between them.

“With your dick out?”

He scoffed then fixed himself as he stood.

“Lewis this’s never happened before. Are--,” she began before he cut her off.

“All good, just—not in the mood I guess.”

She looked offended now. “I’m sorry J. We’ll talk.”

He walked to the door then left her apartment without a glance back. He didn’t feel any way about it because both of them knew what their relationship was and wasn’t. She’d agreed. Once he was in his car, he zipped through the London streets maneuvering the quickest route to your place. Thanks to the time it was an easy drive with minimal traffic. 15 minutes on the dot he swerved around to the front of your luxury condo building then sent you a text letting you know he was there.

A few minutes later, he peeped you from the corner of his eye. You walked off the elevator in a short and tight black dress, impossibly high strappy black heels, and a flowy robe-like jacket that danced behind you as you walked.

“Fuck.”

You were beautiful. Just then the thought that you’d gone on a date dressed like this rubbed him wrong. Some other man had seen this view, a view you gave willingly. Clenching his jaw, he looked through his windshield as he tried to push all those thoughts—all that other stuff to the side as he’d done countless times before. He looked back just in time to see you open the door of his car then climb in. His eyes dropped to your legs but seconds later he corrected that.

“Hi!”

Your smile was bright as if you really were as happy to see him as your voice indicated.

“Hey.”

You reached over and pressed your cheek to his for a bougie kiss. The only thing he could think was that you smelled like a treat all by yourself.

“How are you?”

“Good. You?”

“Good. Wow, what’s it been? 2 months?”

He shrugged as he shifted gears and took off. “Something like that.”

“Mercedes sure knows how to keep you busy,” you teased.

He tried to focus on the road but from his peripheral, he could see you crossing your legs displaying even more skin.

“What were you doing? You smell like fruits.”

He chastised himself because he hadn’t done a bit of cleaning up before he came. His only thought was you. Julissa’s fruity lip gloss still stained his dick that he couldn’t manage to get hard for her.

“Nowhere special. Just kickin’ it.”

You didn’t press further which said you knew just what he was doing. He clenched his jaw again, this time annoyed with himself. As he drove to the dessert place you told him about what was going on in your life while he shared some bits of his with you. Like always conversation flowed like a calm river. It was something he loved. It didn’t take long for him to pull up to the drive-thru of the vegan dessert shop. When it was his turn at the window he tipped his hat lower and left the ordering to you.

You ordered damn near everything on the menu. You didn’t care if it was cake, cupcake, ice cream, brownie, or whipped cream. You ordered at least 2 of everything. It took the staff a good 5 minutes to prepare it all and when he loaded them in the backseat it was completely filled. When he looked at you with an “are you serious right now” look, all you did was giggle. Fuck, he thought. There went all that extra stuff again.

“There is no way we can finish all this,” he said looking at the bags they’d moved to the front since parking at their destination.

“Speak for yourself. I always have room for sugar, sugar.”

He snorted then shook his head. “Mad whack.”

Your jaw dropped as you gaped at him, and you looked too fucking adorable. You sifted through the bags until you found the dessert you wanted—the vanilla bean cheesecake. Your eyes lit up as you gawked at the large slice that was topped with white chocolate shavings. “It's so pretty,” you gushed.

He watched you snap picture after picture of the treat before you took your first forkful. When you did, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you let out a completely indulgent, hearty, and dick-hardening moan. The fuck, he thought as his dick spasmed to life. Quickly he moved one of the bags to his lap and looked out the window.

“This is so good,” you obliviously said still munching on cake.

He pulled out the vegan chocolate truffle cake and took a bite. It too was good.

“That looks good. Is it?”

“Try it,” he said holding out a forkful to your mouth.

You paused for a split second then cut off a piece of your cheesecake before you held your fork to his mouth.

“You try too.”

The image that came to mind was that of a new husband and wife feeding each other wedding cake and with it, his throat went dry. He knew if he tried to speak he’d sound like a pre-pubescent boy, so he wrapped his lips around your fork taking the piece of cake then fed you his. Your eyes lingered on one another for a few moments nut when you moaned again his dick spasmed again. with that he turned his head so fast that he was surprised he hadn’t snapped his own neck in the process.

“So good,” you repeated.

The two of you sat there commenting on the desserts you went through in record time. He didn’t indulge in sweets often but when he did he found it was usually with your sugar-addicted ass. You said there were 4 things in life you would never give up, sugar, your favorite perfume, your favorite underwear set, and sex. He believed you on all points. When there were only a few pieces of cake left the silence in the car stretched.

“So—a date huh.”

“A date.”

“I thought you gave up dating.”

You took a deep breath then slowly released it before turning your body at an angle facing him. The hem of your dress hiked a little higher and he forced himself to look away.

“I did. Then I got bored and he asked.”

“What does he do?”

You didn’t answer automatically, instead, you took another forkful or 2 of cake, then you spoke.

“He’s an attorney.”

“I thought you didn’t date attorneys.”

“I don’t but me and the girls were talking, and it clicked that by x-ing out a whole career field greatly decreased me finding someone who could stick around.”

He paused. Stick around? This was new.

“Stick around? Are you—are you looking for something—serious?”

You took a beat then shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought the other day, I have everything I have ever wanted. I am on this partner track, I make very high 6 figures, I have a great condo, my mental health is amazing, I have no debt, no baby daddies or drama, I—I’m kinda a catch but I go to sleep alone 98% of my nights. I come home to an empty place, I have no meaningful text exchanges, there is—nothing fulfilling in my life. I began to wonder if it was time to change all of that last bit.”

Silence stretched again as he thought over your words while studying you. This was the first time he’d heard you speak like this. Usually, you changed the subject or downplayed having any other thoughts than fun, sex, and work. Now hearing the vulnerability in your voice he knew you’d come to a point where all of this, intention-free dating, pastime sex, stress-busting flirting and all the meaningless interactions were unfulfilling and empty. You wanted more, you wanted love, a life, a husband, kids, vacation homes, and retirement funds, you wanted the quintessential definition of it all. He also noted you now found everything he was currently partaking in meaningless and unfulfilling.

Dropping his head, he stabbed the cake still in his hands. The more puncture holes it picked up the less and less he wanted it.

“Fuck, maybe I’m just bored and need a really, really, good fuck.”

He snorted but it was humorless.

“Don’t downplay what you feel, Y/N. Don’t—make what you feel insignificant, so you feel less vulnerable. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s you and me here.”

“It’s just—you—I know those are things you don’t necessarily want and you’re happy with the--.”

“Who said I don’t want those things?”

His tone was sharp and defensive though he hadn’t meant for it to be.

“Uh—you did.”

“No. I said it’s not something I can afford right now with my schedule and my contract extension. I didn’t say I never wanted it.”

You looked away from him to out the window. “Yeah, but your actions say a lot different,” you mumble.

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Y/N, look at me. What does that mean?”

You sat quietly for a few moments then just when he was about to ask again you blurted.

“There is a difference between I don’t want it now and I don’t want it ever. Someone who wants it someday would leave themselves open to it rather than boxing every interaction they have into--other things.”

“What if I don’t want to open myself to it?”

“That’s clear Lew.”

“No. You don’t get it. What if I don’t want to open myself to it because I don’t want to find the perfect thing—the perfect woman and then be fucked because it’s too soon and too hard to keep her in my world to wait until I can make those commitments because my world is fucked—I’m fucked because I want the world and will actually keep going until I get it anyone else be damned.”

He could feel your eyes on him, and it was his turn to feel vulnerable and exposed.

“You think because you put everyone in one box it stops what’s meant to be from—being?”

He glanced at you with a pained expression, he knew it. He was actually feeling pain.

“Also—you’re not fucked because you want the world. I want the fucking world. Am I fucked?”

“To be determined.”

You both busted out laughing then. You laughed for a good minute then smiled as it tapered off.

“Aren’t you the tiniest bit lonely in the other side of your life—away from F1?”

He didn’t need to think about that. He knew the answer, but he didn’t want to tell you. The facts were that he was lonely more times than not. That was when he called someone to come distract him or make him feel good. He’d become an expert in the art of distraction. In his life, he only had time and the capacity for low stress and no mess. He had enough of both already.

He felt your hand creep into his and squeeze gently. Suddenly, there was all this other stuff again. The feel of your smaller hand in his larger one was something he really liked. Usually, when either of you took the other’s hand it was in passing or for a second, but the moment lingered and stretched, and still you kept your hand in his swirling your fingers against his palm and other fingers. He liked this too much.

“You can tell me. I won’t judge you. In fact—I’m lonely.”

His eyes slipped to you. Your head was down staring at your hands. It had now moved to trace the tattoos on his hand with the point of your nail as if his flesh were an adult coloring book. He watched you trace the rose on his pinky, then the planets on his ring finger. When you got to the lined arrow down his middle, he was having trouble swallowing again. Slowly, you traced the spaceship then went up across the sword until you reached his wrist.

He didn’t know if there was rhyme or reason to your movements or if you were just absently doing it. Goosebumps peppered his skin when you went up his forearm. He looked at you just before your eyes met his.

“You are?”

You nodded. “I am,” you whispered.

The air was on but inside the car easily felt like a sweltering 99 degrees. He didn’t know if it was from your touch or if it was the shift in the air between you. Did you notice it too?

“I think it’s okay to be lonely especially looking at how we live. We’re always working, always pushing ourselves to and through glass ceilings and when we do there is no one really there to share it with, not really, not in the way that fulfills,” you said.

Your face was closer to his now. Had he moved closer or was it you? Your eyes met again, and the temperature kicked up again. Fuck, he thought as his dick recklessly spasmed, begging for attention.

“I’m never lonely with you,” he said before his brain could stop his mouth.

A small smile lit your face, “Me too. Never with you.”

The smile slipped. “Well—not always.”

He turned to you more now, curiosity filling him. “What do you mean?”

You stayed quiet for a few moments but kept tracing his skin with your nail.

“There are times I can’t—guess what you’re thinking. Times I can’t—figure you out.”

“Then ask me.”

“Would you really tell me?”

He leaned closer. “I’d tell you anything.”

You searched his eyes, but you didn’t move back.

“Anything?”

He nodded slowly. His head felt hazy like you had him under some sort of spell with nothing more than your presence and the tip of your finger and all he truly wanted was to touch you in return. So he did. Reaching across to your exposed knee, he circled his finger around the smooth skin there. You sucked in a breath the moment his finger touched you and that one action nearly had him pulling you across the partition right onto his lap. Nearly.

So there on a hill that overlooked London, in his car, sitting near enough to a lone road light, you trailed your finger across his forearm while he did the same to your knee. The low light that illuminated the car bathed your skin in amber making him feel like you were on a whole different plane of existence rather than this real proven and tangible one. Your eyes held him in place to the point where he felt like he couldn’t move though he wanted to.

Without even realizing it you were mere inches from him. In fact, you were so close he could make out the hidden colors in your eyes, so close he could smell the fragrance on your skin that went deeper than perfume. This was your essence and by God he was intoxicated. Unable to stop himself, he inched his hand higher gripping your inner thigh. A soft moan fell from your lips and that was all it took for him to press his forehead to yours like the sound was tethered to his very core.

“Y/N,” he groaned.

The sheer might it was taking to keep himself restrained was becoming too much. At this point, it wouldn’t take much for him to abandon those restraints and give in.

“Lewis,” you whispered.

Your voice was raspy and dripping with what he dared label as desire. Fuck, he thought as he squeezed your thigh. He was so close, mere inches and it wouldn’t take much to close the gap between his fingers and your core but still, he fought himself. He was so wrapped up in his own battle for control within himself that he didn’t even realize when your hand rested on his upper thigh. You were dangerously close to kicking the lid off the box of other stuff that he’d worked years to keep shut. Half of him silently begged for you to keep going and kick it off so everything would be out in the open and it would be do or die but the other half of him hesitated still. The unknown was a powerful and sobering drug.

Your hand inched higher, then closer to what was the rock-hard physical evidence that deep down, now closer to the surface than ever before, he felt more, wanted more than what was. He wanted more than he could possibly afford. Still, his hand persisted, it inched higher making your hips jerk forward. The knowledge that he’d hit a sensitive spot sent his system into overdrive making a deep moan from his lips fill the car.

On cue in response, your legs opened a few inches more, making way for his hand. Jesus Christ he thought. There was his consent, you wanted him as he wanted you. There would be nothing wrong with him slipping his fingers underneath whatever underwear you wore. Fuck, he hoped they were lacy and strappy. There would be nothing wrong with him letting your hand slide to the aching dick straining against his pants begging for your attention. Shit, he bet your hands would feel incredible wrapped around him. There would be nothing wrong with him moving closer and finally claiming your lips as his. Damn, he just knew they were as sweet as they looked, that they felt amazing. There would be nothing wrong with him pulling your body against his for more than a clothed hug. There would be nothing wrong with him cupping your breasts and swirling his thumb across your nipple just to see the reaction it elicited. God damn it, he knew your moans would destroy him. There would be nothing wrong with him finally learning what you tasted like, nothing wrong with him finally smearing your wetness across his lips. Holy fuck, he knew you had to taste like pure sugar and cream.

His cock spasmed again then your hand made the move for him. In the same breath with his eyes squeezed tight, he lurched for your hand, gripping you by your wrist stopping you just before you touched him. As he did that his jaw clenched, the only thing he could do to stifle the moan at the tip of his tongue. It came out as a half groan and growl instead. The strangled whine that left you said you liked it, and he knew he had to end this here. It took him some time to find the smallest bit of control to open his eyes, but he didn’t possess enough control to look at you. There was no way he could.

“I’ll take you home,” he said, voice low and so close to a whisper.

He tried to keep the longing, regret, and hope from it. Slowly he removed his hand from your thigh hoping with everything in him that you grabbed it and nudged it higher. You didn’t though, so he turned forward readying himself to drive. You didn’t move for several long moments; you remained there half facing him with your thighs still tempting him to go back and take things further. With his hands on the steering wheel, he trained his eyes forward. He could feel all the antsy energy bouncing off every cell of his body, he could feel all the need in him wreaking havoc on him telling him to stop being a pussy and do what he really wanted to, say what he wanted to, take what he wanted.

His hands squeezed so tightly that the creaking of the leather echoed in the intense silence in the car. Just when he was about to say fuck it, you turned away from him. You softly cleared your throat then buckled yourself in. Sighing, he pushed started the ignition then swerved out of the parked spot they were in taking the route back to the city. As he drove you didn’t speak, you didn’t even move. You kept your head turned away from him looking out the passenger window with your legs crossed away from him. Your body language sent a completely different message now. Before you were open and so close to him. Now, you were so far he wondered if he’d turned Miles’ words into truths.

~~~~~

-Y/N- 8 Months Later-

The loud ‘pop’ of a champagne cork echoed just behind you making you spin in that direction. A group was just behind you laughing and toasting to something you guessed was momentous. You sighed then turned back to the painting you were currently studying. The abstract lines and swoops looked so similar to the slopes of a body. The longer you stared at it the more it felt like an erotic image than some random lines and swirls. There was something about it that stirred something in you, something that you’d ignored and buried so deep, something you hadn’t felt for 8 months.

You drained your champagne glass then squeezed your eyes shut. It had been a long 8 months. You’d worked your ass off times ten taking on more and more clients than before. You brought on 12 celebrity clients and 4 major corporate ones which brought Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw to the top of the field in revenue. You brought in so much money that you’d gotten 7 poaching offers from firms in different parts of the country.

Thanks to those offers that you hadn’t necessarily kept confidential, the interest in you for partner rose to unbeatable levels. Anyone you were competing against for the position paled in comparison. Those 8 months of ass-busting work led to your name being signed on the paperwork titling you as the new partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw. It was so much of a done deal that your bank account proudly embraced your new status.

With that new status came an increase in the events you had to make an appearance at as thee number 1 entertainment and criminal attorney in London. Your calendar quickly filled with meetings, speeches, appearances, court appearances, dinners, and more. You were so booked that the next time you had any schedule free time was 6 months away. You’d catapulted so far out of your original tax bracket that you’d shattered the glass ceiling that tried to confine you and now you wondered if you’d aimed too high.

“Looks like I’m right on time.”

You looked to your right and found Darius holding another glass of champagne for you. Smiling, you took it.

“That you are, thank you.”

“Of course. To you, the youngest and newest partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw and in the greater London area.”

You smiled as the man who’d stuck around through your insane schedule, your hot and cold behavior, your pull you close one minute, push you away the next, your disappearing acts, your reluctance to place a label on your interactions, your give me sex then get gone rule, and more for the last 8 months.

“Thank you, Darius,” you said leaning toward him and pressing your lips against his.

Darius moaned and reciprocated the kiss, snaking his hand around your waist and pulling you close. You felt like you were thanking him for much more than the toast and the fresh glass of champagne. You felt like you were thanking him for taking your bare minimum and it made you feel like shit.

Darius pressed his forehead to yours and instantly you had a flash back to the last man who’d done that to you. In a split second, your heart rate spiked, and an intense feeling gripped you.

“You don’t have to thank me, love.”

Your reaction to the action ricocheted through you making you pull away from Darius. Turning back to the painting, you gulped down the champagne.

“It’s crazy that your firm has so many celebrity clients and that this many are here to welcome you as partner,” Darius said in hushed tones.

“It is crazy.”

All night you’d been rubbing elbows with actors, musicians, models, athletes, and more. All of them congratulated you on your promotion and wished you greater success in the future. It was touching but a little bit overwhelming. You couldn’t let on though, so for the entire night you’d been performing, and you were nearing the limits of your stamina for it. You’d been performing for the last 8 months. Shit, you’d even been performing with Darius. You’d been performing ever since you were dropped off in those early morning hours those 8 months ago.

“Y/N,”

To your left, your paralegal now turned assistant, Kemi touched your elbow drawing your attention to her.

“Hey, girl.”

“Hey, you look incredible,” she said.

“Stop saying that please, you’re gonna blow my head up so big I just might start thinking I deserve a higher position.”

She giggled but gave you a look that said “well ya’ do.”

“The big wigs are asking for you, although you’re now one of them so--.”

You snorted while rolling your eyes. “Then doesn’t that make you the big wig assistant?”

She posed then making you laugh.

“I’ll be right back,” you said to Darius as you walked off to find those big wigs.

It didn’t take long before you found them surrounded by a group of about 10 people. When they saw you they waved you over with large smiles on their faces. You took a deep breath and approached them with an equally large smile.

“There she is ladies and gentlemen!”

The group smiled, patted your back, and welcomed you with friendly banter.

“Everyone!”

The music died down and someone handed Malcolm Boyd a microphone. He was your biggest fan, a black man who’d made unfathomable feats in the field and became an incredible mentor and second father to you. He put his arm around your shoulder as he always did.

“I am filled with great happiness and pride calling this woman the new partner here at Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw!”

Everyone began applauding then, drowning out his next words so he paused and allowed them a few moments before continuing.

“She has been with us for 6 years now and in those 6 years she has accomplished incredible things and when she was done with those incredible things she moved on to outstanding things. Y/N has reminded many of us of what it means to be determined and persistent. She tackles every case with poise, confidence, and grace and that confidence has given her that 99% win record.”

Again everyone clapped. You softly smiled at them half embarrassed by the praise but half so damn proud of yourself and happy that your accomplishments were being recognized.

“Just as Malcome said, “Patrick Halsey began placing his hand on Malcom’s shoulder, “Y/N more than deserves this promotion and I expect her to blow all of our minds in the coming months and years. We just might have to add another name to the plague.”

Many in the audience hollered and hooted at that and you couldn’t lie that the greedy ambition within you salivated at that possibility. You still wanted more. You exchanged a look with Malcome who gave you an all-knowing look. You just found your next accomplishment. The founding partners took turns praising you and giving reasons why you’d earned this promotion then raised their glasses to you for the ultimate toast of congratulations. You humbly thanked them and gave a quick appreciative speech before lifting your glass to the audience.

As you drank down the tart liquid, your eye caught sight of a figure you hadn’t seen in person for almost 2 months—Lewis. He stood at the back in a black suit that clearly was made for him. His braids were pulled back in the way he liked when he was tackling more professional events. He looked as good as ever. He lifted his glass of water to you and in response you gave him a tight smile.

The same thing happened that always happened when you met one another ever since that night. Your body went through this strange cycle of reaction, excitement, confusion, hurt, anger, annoyance, and disappointment. It was exhausting. Because of these feelings, you regretted that night. You regretted allowing your thoughts to go so astray that you opened up your ‘what if’ box. You regretted every whisper, every lean in, every almost touch, every lingering look, everything. You even regretted getting out of his car when he pulled up to your condo instead of pulling him by his hair to you and telling him to go upstairs with you. you didn’t know what you regretted more.

The worst part was that you had to continue on like always. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem because that night was not the first night there had been many ‘what if’ nights over your decade-long friendship. The common factor was that both of you moved on and slinked back into the basics of your relationship—comfort and friendship. This time is difficult, so difficult you contemplated passing his case off to another attorney. If it hadn’t been for Malcome talking you out of it he would have been someone else’s responsibility. Instead, you put on your big girl panties and a mask and did something you never thought you’d ever do with him—performed.

When the crowd thinned out and everyone returned to what they were doing you began making your way back to Darius in the opposite direction. You were ready to leave. Before you got far Lewis stepped in front of you stopping you in your tracks.

“Congratulations, Y/N.”

Smiling, you thanked him.

“You look--,” his words stalled as his eyes roamed your body. You noted the conflicted look on his face before it disappeared. “Incredible,” Lewis finished.

His compliment made your body warm and something like hope filled you. Chastising yourself you swallowed the lump in your throat. “Thank you. You look nice too.”

Lewis scoffed softly then nodded. You then tried to slip by him, however, Lewis wasn’t having it. Again, he stepped in front of you.

“In a rush to get away from me?”

“Why would you say that? Have you done anything to me for me to want that?”

Silence stretched and Lewis studied you his jaw clenched tightly. Instead of speaking, he looked down, an act of defeat.

“Can we talk, Y/N?”

“We’re talking right now.”

He gave you an unamused look, but you kept your nonchalant, innocent one. Unexpectedly Miles approached then.

“There she is--partner lady. Congratulations Y/N.”

You smiled then hugged Miles. “Thank you!”

“This is incredible news, Y/N. So happy for you.”

“I appreciate that. Thank you for coming,” you replied.

“You know me, always this fool’s plus one.”

You smiled then the silence returned for a few seconds before Lewis spoke again.

“Maybe we can go somewhere—quiet after this?”

“Unfortunately I don’t think I can.”

“Why?”

Just then Darius approached and wrapped his arm around your waist resting his hand on your hip. You watched Lewis’ eyes drop to that hand and continued to watch as his jaw turned tight as if it filled with cement.

“Oh wow. Lewis Hamilton,” Darius said turning to you, his voice awestricken. “Babe it’s Lewis Hamilton.”

You nodded as a soft smile played on your lips. “Let me introduce you. Darius, this is one of my clients, Lewis Hamilton, and his best friend Miles Chamley-Watson fencing champion and Olympian. Miles, Lewis this is my—.”

You hesitated and in the same second, you felt Darius’ eyes on you filled with hope. Two other pairs of eyes were on you--one giving complete double eyeball emoji and the other searing you almost daring you to continue. The longer you didn’t speak, you watched Darius’ hope turn to disappointment. Glancing back at Lewis you found his eyebrow up with a curious and confrontational look while Miles was the epitome of if ‘well this is awkward’ was a person.

“This is Darius Forrester.”

You felt even more like shit now. Darius shook Lewis’ hand first then Miles’. While he did Lewis looked him over sizing him up. You knew he was wondering if he was the same man from those months ago when you’d told him you were on a date.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m a fan,” Darius said to Lewis.

“Thank you. I appreciate that. I can sign something for you if you want.”

You rolled your eyes at his underhanded jab while a half chortle escaped Miles. Darius on the other hand leapt at the opportunity, handing Lewis the only thing he had, an art bidding ballot. Lewis signed the back but kept his eyes on Darius’ hand on your hip.

“Bidding on some art tonight?”

“I am. There is a piece this gorgeous angel has been staring at all night, it’ll be my gift to her for her promotion,” Darius explained rubbing your hip.

You smiled at him then kissed his cheek. Lewis now looked entertained while Miles’ eyes widened as he finished the drink in his hand.

“Ehm, anyway. So I’m sorry I can’t pencil you in tonight but if you call Kemi and make an appointment she’ll get you on the calendar for a different day for that talk,” you said.

“Plans tonight,” Miles guessed looking between you and Darius.

“Absolutely. I’ve had way too much to drink and plan on taking advantage of that.”

You leaned closer to Darius kicking up your performance another notch. Lewis smirked but also clenched his jaw to that. Miles whistled while nodding his head.

“Go on then Ms. Partner, fly by the seat of your panties or no panties,” Miles teased making you and Darius chuckle while Lewis gave him an unamused look.

“Well, enjoy your evening gentlemen. Thank you again for coming by,” you said before you made a move to walk off with Darius.

As you walked away you placed your hand over Darius’ and slyly slipped it lower to rest on your ass. You knew Lewis was watching and decided to deliver the last blow. Was it petty? Yes. Was it fair to Daius? Not at all.

The next hour or so passed with you roaming around the gallery looking at the art while Darius flirted with you. As you roamed, no matter where you went you saw Lewis from the corner of your eye and no matter how much space was between you, your skin reacted as if Darius’ touch was his. The more you felt that way the reality that Darius’ touch was in fact all his own annoyed you making you feel even worse. You knew what needed to be done and knew it had to be done soon.

The only way you could distract yourself was with glass after glass of champagne. As you emerged from one of your countless trips to the bathroom you bumped into Miles.

“Funny bumping into you here.”

You smiled warmly, “Still here? I thought you and Lewis left hours ago.”

“You knew we were still here,” he accused.

You tried to give an affronted look but failed. He was right. Sighing, your act fell for the first time that night.

“Wow. Feels good to not perform huh.”

You looked at Miles and wondered just how much he knew. He didn’t keep you in suspense long.

“What a twisted web we weave when we practice to deceive.” He scoffed, shook his head then continued, look, I am going to tell you the same thing I told Lewis.”

You perked up then but tried to play it off.

“You better stop playing before somebody gets hurt and by the looks of it, it’s gonna be your homeboy Darius if not all three of you.”

You took in his words then put your mask back in place. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah you do, just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”

Your curiosity peaked then. “What are you talking about Miles? What do you think you know?”

He scoffed. “I’m a straightforward kinda guy so I’ll say I know everything. As the neutral 3rd party who is both on the outside looking in and the inside watching this train wreck, I know everything. I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”

Your eyes lingered and the longer they did the more you got his meaning. Glancing away you tried to pretend like his words meant nothing, but you knew you were failing.

“I get it, I really do; 10 years is a long time to put at risk but are you really putting it at risk knowing all you know? You have 10 years of proof. Man up.”

Miles leaned in, kissed your cheek, and whispered, “Let homeboy go so he can find someone who really loves him, someone who can love him. Your corner is full.”

With that, he walked away leaving you speechless and confused. Your corner was full? You had no idea whatsoever what that meant, and you were tempted to follow Miles and get some clarification, but you decided against it remembering the last time you chased down the rabbit hole. When you found Darius again his expression was somber when he told you that the painting he’d been bidding on was outbid and that he didn’t have it to gift you. After assuring him you were fine, you decided you were more than ready to leave.

Darius got the car as you waited outside allowing the cold air to cool your skin. You didn’t care that you were risking illness because it served as a needed distraction. When you felt a fabric drape over your shoulders you bristled at first but then Lewis’ scent circled you and your body relaxed. Even that annoyed you.

“I don’t need this. Darius will be back soon anyway.”

Lewis snorted. “8 months, is that a record?”

“I think it’s a record for you, but I’ve gone longer.”

He scoffed then shook his head. “No doubt, remember Y/N. I will be here long after you get bored with them all. I’m always here.”

Your eyes locked and his should have been radiating cockiness that matched his words, but instead, they were gentle, open, and vulnerable.

“Will you?”

There was no time to reply because a car horn blared drawing your attention. Darius waved at you as he got out of the car to walk around to the passenger side.

“Good night Lewis.”

You walked away from him then slipped into the passenger side. As you waited for Darius to get in and drive off, you stared at Lewis who hadn’t budged from the curb where you left him. Miles’ words echoed back to you then.

“Just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”

“You have 10 years of proof.”

“Your corner is full.”

The word ‘full’ echoed over and over as Darius pulled off. Bullshit, you said to yourself in disbelief.

When Darius pulled up to your condo you sat there marinating in all your thoughts throughout the nearly thirty-minute drive. It wasn’t until you felt Darius’ hand on your exposed knee did you realize he was still there.

“Are you okay? Want me to come up?”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “We need to talk Darius.”

When you looked at him his expression said he knew just what you were about to say. Being as gentle as you could, you ended things. Although the old “it’s not you it’s me” line fit the situation perfectly. You dug a little deeper and gave him and heartfelt reason without revealing you were and had been in love with your best friend for 10 years and didn’t realize it until his feelings were already on the line. When you finished, Darius remained the good guy he was and told you he understood and that he’d expected this sooner or later. You thanked him for being good to you then began making your way to the elevators.

Halfway there you dug into the pocket of the jacket you wore and froze. When you took your hand out you held a note with your name sprawled on the front in Lewis’ handwriting.

-Y/N-

I’ve thought for months about what to say to you because there is so much to say, so much that has gone unsaid for so long that I don’t know where to start—how to start. 10 years is a long time especially when neither of us has been 100% honest with the other. I want to end that. Please.

-Lewis

You read then reread the note over and over hoping you would know what to do next but no matter how many times you did, you had nothing. So you walked back and forth in the lobby. When your phone sounded, you found a message from Lewis.

MSG Lewis: Ball’s in your court. I’m outside your building.

You froze then slowly turned and saw his car. It had been months since you’d been in a car with him and the thought of doing it again freaked you out a little. Your eyes met at that moment, but he didn’t move. He was giving you the time to decide for yourself. You turned your back to him then walked to the elevators but stopped halfway. After a few moments, you turned back around and walked to the doors only to stop halfway again and repeat the whole cycle. Still, Lewis didn’t budge. He just watched as your internal debate played out physically.

After ten minutes you stooped down and put your down, completely exhausted by your indecisiveness. Taking a deep breath, you held it and allowed your lungs to adjust. It was an action you often did to help you think and calm down. As your oxygen levels decreased your heartbeat would slow and as it did, there was always one particular beat where you figured it all out. It usually came right in the nick of time.

So you allowed your heartbeat to slow and though you should have panicked you didn’t. You thought clearer than you’d ever thought before.

“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”

Miles’ words came back to you again and it was then you gasped filling your lungs with air. After a few breaths, you stood then turned to the doors. It worked all the time. With your head high and back straight you walked toward them then climbed inside Lewis’ car. Without a word, he pulled off then turned back onto the streets.

~~~~~~

Thirty minutes later you walked into a penthouse suite right behind Lewis.

“Why here?”

“Thought neutral ground would make you more comfortable.”

You scoffed and beelined right to the bar, tossing his suit jacket over the back of one of the bar stools. As you mixed yourself a drink you tried not to focus on him, but you did. No matter where he went you knew. You were hypersensitive to him at this point. You’d only meant to make a glass but ended up making a whole shaker cup. You kicked off your heels, climbed onto the bar stool then plopped yourself on the countertop. Once comfortable you crossed your legs and sipped your drink.

“Where’s Darius?”

“Not here obviously.”

“You and I are so alike it’s insane,” he said as he approached you, but he didn’t come close. He stopped at the sectional couches in the middle of the large living area and then sat.

The silence in the room was thick for such a long time you began thinking about leaving altogether.

“Congratulations again. I’m so fucking proud of you. You saw something you wanted and didn’t stop until you got it. You deserve this.”

Your stomach flipped hearing his praise. More than anyone he knew what you’d gone through to get here. It touched you. Looking away from him, you cleared your throat. “Thanks.”

His eyes remained on you as if daring you to look back at him. It was a dare you had to accept. Your eyes locked and you instantly felt it. There was so much to say. Just behind him, you saw something familiar. Squinting, you made out the painting you’d been staring at all night, the painting Darius wanted to bid on for you. It clicked then, the reason why Darius couldn’t win it was because Lewis claimed it first. You scoffed, the man was competitive and dominant to a fault. You couldn’t help but be touched by the gesture though.

Lewis sighed bringing your eyes back to him, “I don’t even know where to start,” groaned, rubbed his eyes then spoke again. “Maybe I’m sorry is a good place.”

You studied him for a few moments then took a mouthful of your drink. “For what?”

“You know for what.”

That night.

Those words hung in the air, and you did your best to remain aloof. Scoffing, you shook your head. “It’s all good Lewis.”

“You’re lying and you know it. I thought attorneys believed in the truth.”

“Who are you to tell me what my truth is?!”

You hadn’t meant to shout it, but you did.

“Because more times than not our truths match up and I am sure that what happened was not all good to you because it wasn’t to me.”

“And what exactly wasn’t all good to you?”

“The way we—I left things,” he quietly said.

You waited for him to continue because there was no way in hell you were going to make this easy for him. He wanted to talk so he’d talk. Lewis shook his head then hung it backward. He sat there staring into the ceiling for almost a full minute before he looked back at you.

“I just—flipped when we were—you were—you wanted--,” he stuttered.

You scoffed again, “Don’t flatter yourself, Lewis,” you said slipping into the barstool and spinning it around so your back faced him.

“What?”

“You and I both know that none of that meant anything to you. It’s all good.”

“Now who’s telling who what their truth is?”

You didn’t take the bait, instead, you kept your back to him and finished your glass.

“You forget, I know you, Lewis. 10 years of friendship and I know you so well that it was my own damn fault that night.”

“Whatdaya know?”

After refilling your glass you turned back around then hopped off the stool and walked toward the large floor-to-ceiling window. “I know that that you were with one of your rotation chicks before you came to pick me up. I smelled her on you. That fruity aroma was all her. I know that because of that tidbit of info, none of it meant anything.”

Leaning against the window you stared down at the view of London. Lights glistened down below, and you imagined everyone scurrying to where they had to go so wrapped up in their own thoughts or existence to even suspect that it all was fleeting.

“Okay, I’ll own that bit. Yeah, I was with one of them but that was only after I found out you were on a date.”

“So it’s my fault. I was on a date living my life, so you decided to get your dick wet. Okay.”

You took another sip from your glass not liking the direction of this little talk he wanted to have.

“I never said it was your fault. It’s just a fact. I texted you because I wanted to see you, wanted to spend time with you and you were spending time with someone else, someone you probably did God knows what with hours before you saw me.”

And with that, you were done here. Finishing the glass you turned and walked to the door.

“Good night Lewis.”

He scurried in front of you blocking your path. “Wait, please. Shit! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Two sorries in the span of twenty minutes, cool. Get out of my way.”

“No, Y/N, please wait.”

You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “I’m sick and tired of waiting. I’ve waited 10 years!”

“You’ve waited? I’ve—.”

Lewis threw his hands up then walked away grunting and talking to himself. He looked insane and it kind of made you pleased seeing it. He always appeared so in control, so aware of himself and his actions at all times. It had all gone to shit now. You stood there debating if you should just leave and let things remain how they were until the day you both just stopped talking and checking in and it ended up going on for another 10 years until you were just people who used to know one another, people who’d missed out on something. It was then you realized you weren’t wearing shoes.

“Shit,” you whispered.

“I wanted you that night. I wanted you more than I had ever wanted anyone, including anyone in the rotation. Do you know what I was doing while you were on your date?”

“Getting your dick wet. I know.”

“I was lying on Julissa’s bed as she gave me head.”

You scoffed, “Of course you were.”

“She’d been going for 40 minutes and still I was barely hard. No matter what she did, no matter the tricks, no matter how nice it felt, barely hard. I was lying on her bed with my dick in her mouth thinking about you on your fucking date.”

You looked at him then. Those were words you hadn’t expected.

“My mind went crazy thinking what was happening. The longer that went by without you texting me the thoughts killed me. As soon as I got your message I left. No other thought, just you. I prayed to God that the date didn’t go well enough for you to let him upstairs. Then I saw what you were wearing, and I couldn’t believe I was jealous. I was jealous.”

“Why?”

Lewis looked at you then. “Because he got to see you like that. You’d dressed up for him, wanted to turn him on with that outfit. He’d spent the entire night with you. He’d had what I wanted.”

Well shit, you thought before walking back to the bar. Rather than making another drink, you took up a bottle of champagne and brought it to your lips.

“Do you know what it feels like to want someone so bad that it fucks with you and everything you do? To want someone more than you’ve wanted anything. To want someone in a way that is new to you, so new that it scares you. Do you know what it feels to have this crippling fear every time that someone is in your grasp, but not being able to resist the temptation, the desire to make them yours? Do you know what it feels like to know that you only burn this bright, this hot, this dangerous with one person, and the burn is all-consuming?”

He looked almost hysterical now. “Do you know what it feels like to want the perfect someone for you? I’m talking molded for you in every way while knowing it’s not the right time for you because you both want too much from the world and because you know that because you burn so hot, so bright that you’ll burn each other if either of you ever let go and let it happen? To know you are so similar that you will either destroy each other or ruin one another for anyone else.”

The look on his face was so damn relatable. He’d just said everything you’d thought over the last 10 years. Everything.

“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me.”

He was practically ranting now. Spewing every single thing that he’d ever thought, confessing it all.

“So because of all that you try to keep up pretenses that you’re friends and nothing more though you have countless moments where you slip up and stare at them too long, or hold them in your arms from a hug for half a minute too long, or let your hand linger in theirs or around their waist to test boundaries because you just can’t not touch them, or even find reasons to do every single thing together. You take those 2 steps forward not realizing you do because the pull is too strong, then you freak out and leap back 5 steps. You do this for weeks, months, years until 10 of them have passed and you have this huge box you’d filled with all the other stuff between you that you can’t express or fess up to until that box just gets stirred by one action, one moment--one night.”

His eyes were locked on yours. Somehow he’d traveled across the room to the bar and was standing right in front of you. Somehow he’d locked you in the frame of his arms leaving you nowhere to run. Somehow he’d managed to inflate your chest with hope right beside your thundering heart.

“Then suddenly—everything has changed, and nothing can be the same ever again,” he finished, his voice a whisper in the completely silent room.

You watched his eyes lower to your lips and your gut flipped again.

“Do you know what any of that feels like, Y/N?”

There were only mere inches between you now and the sheer proximity of his body to yours made you shiver.

“H—how long—have you—felt this way?”

Your voice quivered in a way that made it obvious to him what his nearness was doing to you.

“10--fucking years,” Lewis replied eyes glued to yours.

He took one step to you, “I’ve spent the last 8 months cleaning my life, cleaning my circle because I’ve gotten to the point where I could no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. You’re number one, Y/N.”

You were frozen in place, unsure what to say, and even more unsure what to do. He was right, your truths usually did line up and this was no different.

“And I know it scares you, shit it scares me too. All of this does. I know my life is insane and yours is about to be even more so, I get you still have things you want to accomplish; I saw your face when Halsey mentioned adding your name to the plaque. You want it and I want it for you as well as the world for both of us. Our timing can’t be any worse, but something has got to give, love, because I can’t take another year let alone 10 of this.”

You took a deep, ragged breath.

“Where--,” Lewis began before stopping and chewing his top lip.

It was a nervous tick. “Where do I—stand—with you?”

For 10 years he’d been so hard to read, so nearly impossible to gauge, and here right now in the darkness of the room you could see him as clear as day. He was oh so transparent and scared you’d reject him. Scared you’d decide he was more trouble than he was worth. Scared he’d just showed you his heart and ruined your friendship in the process. Without realizing it you were crying; you felt a tear roll down your cheek.

Sniffling, you wiped it away, “Ehm, I broke up with Darius tonight.”

Lewis looked shocked. Clearly, he thought you were still together.

“Why?”

You wiped the other tear that fell from your eye then looked away from him. All of a sudden the room felt smaller than it was, it felt as if the walls were closing in on you. Lewis cupped the back of your head cradling your skull in his palm making you look him in the eyes.

“Why?”

“For the last 8 months, I’ve been hot and cold with him, I pulled him close one minute then the next pushed him away, I disappeared a lot always using work as the excuse. I was busy, yeah, but it wasn’t work. I was always so reluctant to put a label on what we were doing, every time he brought it up I changed the subject never giving him the answer he wanted. Even when we had sex--.”

Lewis took a deep breath, dropped his head, and harshly released it, clearly displeased with confirmation that he’d had you that way, but you continued.

“Even then it was usually always on my terms, and I always wanted him to leave right after. I was—I was always thinking about someone else, something else instead of him, and for 8 months I never felt anything remotely close to what I felt that night with him. over the months every time I saw you it hacked at whatever was going on between me and him until tonight seeing you again it just--.”

You flicked your five fingers indicating an explosion. I’ve become hypersensitive to you, and I don’t know when it happened. It dawned on me that—I was using Darius and it wasn’t fair.”

Lewis searched your eyes not hiding the hurt in his. You took a step towards him. “You’re right about a few things. Our timing couldn’t be any worse.”

He nodded.

“Our truths usually always line up.”

Lewis looked hopeful then.

“Your life is insane.”

The hope faltered.

“I do want my name on that plaque, and I will get it.”

A small smile crooked his lips.

Another tear rolled down your cheek and again you wiped it away, “I can also no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. Always has been because you’re my number one.”

He clenched his jaw then and the emotion that washed over his face rocked you. Like an earthquake rocking the Earth’s surface.

“I am scared.”

As this tear rolled, Lewis was the one to reach out and gently wipe it with the pad of his thumb. Your lip quivered.

“I’m so scared.”

Lewis pushed forward then, crashing his lips to yours in one swift move. Once your lips met neither of you went slow. The kiss was frenzied from the beginning, both of you wanting it all and not wanting to waste any more time taking it. As his tongue rolled with yours you closed the space between you pressing your body against him. Lewis softly moaned, wrapping his arms around you. When you bit down on his bottom lip he groaned then walked you backward until your back collided with the edge of the bar. Trapping you there once again, he kissed you without holding a thing back and your body responded to him instantaneously.

In a matter of seconds, you both were moaning against each other and completely wrapped up in the new feelings that were consuming you. Lewis cupped your face as he kissed you then ran his hands down to your neck. You couldn’t deny that this felt even better than you imagined. Moaning, you clutched his waist but when that didn’t suffice, you slowly slid your hands up along his toned abs, over his chest taking in the bulge of muscle there. When you wrapped them around his neck, Lewis pressed more persistently against you.

“Mmmm!”

Lewis tore his lips from you and put his forehead to yours. “Fuck, I don’t want to get too carried away. I’m sorry I should have asked first.”

“Consent fucking given,” you said before you crashed your lips to his.

This time you took control. Swirling your tongue with his you didn’t give him time to react or gain the upper hand. You wanted to taste him, and you refused to wait any longer. Teasing his lips, you nibbled his bottom one, taking your time to sensually suck on it until he moaned against you. The vibration shot through you making you feel like you’d only now just begun to truly feel. Lewis’ hands roughly gripped your hips, holding you steady so you could feel that you weren’t the only one finally feeling for the first time.

Heightening both if your pleasure, you sucked his tongue until he groaned. The next thing you knew Lewis’ had you by the hips lifting you onto the bar top. You wrapped your thighs around him and nearly came when you felt his hands pry your legs apart. The heat radiating off of his hand on your bare thigh reminded you of the night in his car and you prayed he didn’t stop again.

As if reading your mind, Lewis met your eyes while he slid his hand higher and higher and higher until his fingers crawled to your inner thigh. Softly he raked his manicured nails against your skin forcing a whimper from you. You bit down on your bottom lip and silently willed yourself not to cum from the anticipation. Suddenly the back of Lewis’ fingers brushed against your sex. Your gasp was loud, breathy, and stretched out as he took his time moving centimeter by centimeter until he’d trapped your clit between his pointer and middle finger. Your jaw dropped all the while he held your gaze.

When he tightened his fingers and rubbed against you, your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You knew then he was dangerous, and you were going to cum.

“F—ha—fu-huck!”

Your back arched, head fell back as your body moved like it were possessed. Each spasm of pleasure had you bucking against his fingers until you could hardly breathe.

“My god you’re so fucking beautiful when you cum, love.”

You giggled and moaned as the tremors worked their way through you. “Mmm, orgasms and compliments, a girl could get used to this,” you cooed.

“Good. This is your future.”

Lewis moved his hand, brought them to your thighs then lifted them. As he planted your heels at the edge of the bar, you knew what he wanted. Your eyes dropped to his lips then you moaned. Pulling your dress away from your legs you allowed them to fall back to the bar showing him not only gymnasts were flexible.

“Oh fuck,” Lewis groaned.

You watched his eyes drop to your sex and the look on his face was unlike any you’d ever seen. No one had looked at you like this before. He stared where your thighs met like it was the most mesmerizing thing he’d ever seen, the first of its kind and something he wanted to completely destroy. You now felt like prey spread before him like this, like at any moment he was going to pounce on you.

“Mmm.”

Lewis came closer and closer until he rested on his elbows and was just inches from your sex. The anticipation was killing, and he had to know it.

“I knew you were a lacy knickers kind of woman,” he muttered.

“I take it you’re a lacy knickers kind of man.”

“On you, fuck yes.”

With that, Lewis hooked his thumbs in your underwear and pulled them to the side. He blew out a breath in reaction to seeing you bare for the first time and that breath fucked you up all over again. You threw your head back trying to calm your anxieties, but just when you met his eyes again you found his tongue out sliding against your wet folds.

Oh—my—goooood!”

Lewis moaned and did it again and again until he circled your clit with the tip of his tongue. “Mmmm.”

Lewis pressed your thighs back keeping them spread then went to town. If you’d ever doubted before that his mouth game was incredible you didn’t now. He licked, flicked, and sucked along your flesh making your back remain in a prolonged arch. Within seconds you were whining and writhing as his tongue worked literal fucking magic. The sound of Lewis’ slurping echoed in the living room and that was when your hands grabbed his head. Pulling his hair free you held on and bucked against his mouth.

“Mmm.”

He stuck his tongue out and let you take over. With every buck against his tongue, you called his name and the more the tip of his tongue flicked your clit the more out of control you felt. Your release was so close your body moved more wildly needing it at all costs.

“I’m gonna cum Lewis.”

“Cum for me, Y/N!”

You didn’t need to be told more than once and when you were right on the precipice you felt Lewis slid two digits inside of you. Just like that, your orgasm morphed from a toe-curling release to soul snatching one. You screeched as your body convulsed but he didn’t stop then, he pumped his fingers in and out of you then added a third finger stretching you wide.

“Uuuugh fuck!”

You barely finished your words before Lewis threw you over his shoulder, keeping his fingers inside of you. As he walked through the suite his fingers kept fucking you, readying you for him. When your back met the soft sheets of the mattress, Lewis still hadn’t broken contact. He watched you now as you lay there unable to control your body.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Pulling his fingers free he cleaned two of them off before you sprang to your knees to claim the third. As you sucked his finger you kept your eyes on his. You could see how badly he wanted you, how much he wanted from you, and you couldn’t believe he’d held back all this time. You took your time sliding each button through its slot until his shit was wide open. When you pushed it off of him you took in a sight you’d seen plenty of times only now it was different.

You brought your hands to feel across his torso marveling at each defined ab muscle and each tattoo. When you intentionally rubbed against his beaded nipple you noted the way his Adam’s apple bobbed. How had you never noticed your effect on him? How had you never taken it seriously? Bringing your hands back to his waist you undid his pants. You brushed your palm against the protruding mass straining against his pants which made him shiver as he grunted.

“Oops.”

Lewis scoffed then licked his lips and that was all it took for him to claim back some of the control you possessed over this exchange.

“Of course, you’re a fucking tease.”

You innocently smiled. “I haven’t even begun to tease you.”

“I bet.”

Lewis snuck forward kissing you one peck at a time, over and over.

“Mm, can you take it?”

“Any other night my answer would be yes, hell in an hour my answer will be yes but right now--.”

He cupped your sex with on hand and the back of your neck with the other.

“Mmm.”

“Right now, I have no control left. I’ve remained in control around you for 10 years and right now I just want to let it all go. I want to bury myself so deep inside of you there is no mistake that we belong to each other bad timing or not. It’s you and me, Y/N.”

You groaned as his words only increased the wetness between your legs. You kissed him again, then you turned your back to him and swayed your body against him. Lewis dropped a kiss to your shoulder as his hand crept around to cup the underside of your breast. You leaned forward getting on all fours with your ass poking out to him.

“Undo me?”

He didn’t move for a few moments, and you waited for him to enjoy the view. When you felt his hand rub against your ass you dipped your back lower which only made your ass poke out more. Lewis trailed his hand along your spine that the backless gown proudly showed off. Then he went to your tailbone and lowered the zipper of the dress. Peeping over your shoulder, your eyes locked as you allowed the dress to fall away from your body.

His groan was low—primal. It was all you needed to hear to know he liked the strappy number you wore that was made of fine lace. You expected him to take his time but instead, you felt him peel off the garment leaving you completely naked before him for the first time ever.

“You’re so wet for me, Y/N. So wet and so fucking perfect.”

You spread your legs further then stretched your arms over your head using your head to hold you up. As expected, Lewis flipped you onto your back making you giggle. You roamed your hands over your body, cupping your breasts then sliding them down your abdomen to your dripping core. The entire time, Lewis kept his eyes on every move you made while he pulled his pants and underwear off.

When he stood bare before you, your surprise could not be masked. You didn’t know what you’d expected in your late-night thoughts about what he was packing but you had no way of expecting this. Lewis gripped his length then slowly stroked it as he pressed a knee onto the mattress.

“Scared?”

You bit your bottom lip as you gawked at what the good lord blessed him with. It was unfair and completely intimidating.

“Now I see why everyone in the rotation was so happy being one of many.”

He snorted, bringing his other knee to the mattress between. Slowly he stalked closer like a predator with a deadly weapon in hand.

“There is no rotation anymore.”

“Oh yeah. The LH44 Harem has been disbanded?”

As he crept closer, you slid backward.

“You’re not funny.”

“So am I the first to usher in a new era—a new harem?”

Lewis grabbed your ankle then pulled you back to him making the backs of your thighs slam into the fronts of his. He then hovered over you before dropping an opened mouth kiss on your nipple. Sucking the peak into his mouth he sucked raising your back off of the bed.

“You’re in no harem. I told you, it’s you—and me,” he said nibbling your flesh.

Stared at him letting it all sink in. You brought your hand to his bearded cheek and rested it there.

“Are we really doing this? Like—for real?”

Lewis boxed your face in with his muscular arms and stared into your eyes. “I’ve told you where I stand, Y/N. I’ve told you everything that’s in here.”

He took your hand and placed it over the roaring lion etched on his skin keeping his hand over yours.

“It’s time you tell me what’s in here,” he finished placing his other hand over your left breast.

“You,” you whispered.

“I love you, Y/N.”

Before you could react or even respond Lewis thrust forward sending the tip of his hardness inside of you, stealing your breath, and every thought. A breathy gasp filled the air. Slowly he pushed forward, leisurely filling you giving you time to adjust to his size.

“Haaaa.”

Lewis kept his hand over your heart while holding yours over his as he filled you inch by tortuous inch never taking his eyes off yours. Your entire being was on fire like he was pouring molten lava inside of you with every inch he gave you.  

“Oh fu—Lewis,” you panted.

From the way his jaw was clenched, and eyes focused intently on you, you could tell he was feeling everything you were.

“How are you so tight?”

Digging your nails into his chest you tightened your leg around his waist and as if that was his last straw, Lewis flicked his hips forward filling you completely and tearing a scream from both of your lips. Neither of you moved for several moments but with every second that passed by your body blazed. Bucking against him, you slid your hand up to his throat and then gripped it.

“I love you. Fuck me. Now!”

Those words would be your ruin because he did just that without mercy and complete recklessness. Your moans and whimpers melded together rising in decibel and power until the entire room shook with the power of your screams for one another. As he plowed inside of you he didn’t go slow, he followed his basal instincts that were imprinted in his DNA, a need to claim, and dominate.

You’d never felt so out of control in your life. No matter how he fucked you, you couldn’t get enough. No matter how deep he went you wanted him deeper. No matter how he called your name you wanted him to scream it. You wanted every fucking thing he had. You wanted to leave him in shambles. When he flipped you onto your stomach like you weighed nothing, he held your ass in the air and fucked you so thoroughly you’d lost track of how many times you came. It didn’t matter because you wanted more.

He must have been able to read your mind because there was no way he could tell what you needed this soon, you thought to yourself as he grabbed your wrists and pulled you back, so he had your upper body hovering above the mattress.

“Oh my god, I’m cumming Lewis! Ooh shiiiiiit!”

He took advantage of this new angle and circled his hips as he jackhammered into you, fucking you as you did something you’d never done before—squirted. You screamed from the force of your release, but Lewis didn’t stop, he fucked you through it then torpedoed you into another one that you knew would tear you apart. Racing for it, you slammed yourself back into him relishing the mix of pain and pleasure that only intensified when Lewis bit down on your shoulder.

“You got one more for me, darlin? Cum for me. Soak this dick, pretty girl, drench me so I can fill that pretty pussy up.”

“Aaah!”

You clenched around him as you lost yourself and fell off the cliff and into an endless pit of pleasure. You felt Lewis spasm inside of you before he cursed and shouted his release doing just what he promised. Filling your pretty pussy up.

When the two of you finally collapsed on the bed Lewis held you to him spooning you while still being nestled inside of you. Bit by bit you came back to your body and slowly your body went from violent shakes to subtle tremors and a hazy feeling washed over you. Lewis peppered kisses along your neck and shoulder nipping your skin every now and then.

“Mmm. Oh my god!”

He snorted. “You good?”

“Good? Am I good? Are you—at the risk of swelling your head even more than it already is that was--.”

“Was?”

You searched for the words but couldn’t find the right ones. “It was,” you settled on making him laugh as he held you tighter.

“Naw, I was alright, you—you were,” he said making you snort.

“Shut up.”

“No, I’m being for real for real. It’s a miracle I held on that long, you feel unbelievable, so good, too good. You—are!”

You giggled then moaned, sleepiness creeping up on you.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep, I’m nowhere near done with you.”

His manhood inside of you lurched nudging your g-spot and just like that your eyes snapped wide open.

“Watch yourself, I know your weakness now.”

“You?”

“Nope, this pussy.”

Lewis snorted then flipped you onto your stomach again. This time he straddled you as he slowly pulled out of you only to plunge right back in.

“Mmm.”

“Still so damn tight,” Lewis groaned.

“You’re welcome to try stretching me out.”

Lewis jerked his hips forward delivering a bruising thrust as punishment for your your sassy mouth. It was a thrust that took your breath and made you go cross-eyed.

“Mmm, yes!”

“Oh, aren’t you full of surprises. Pretty girl likes it rough and hard.”

He did it again and again, making you hit the bed each time as you buried your face in the sheet to muffle your screams.

“God yes, Lewis!”

“So fucking alike,” Lewis said before lowering his lips to your ear. “Remember I love you 'cause I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”

Not waiting for a reply he held your arms to the bed then delivered on his promise. Everyone else was number 2 compared to you being each other’s number 1. Nothing else mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[leclerc-s]

track 002. clean

 ─── ❝ gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean ❞  ───

series masterlist // previous //next

zoya can remember when she got the first letter. she was 8 and in 3rd grade, the teacher announced they would be getting pen pals. zoya had no clue what that meant but it sounded so cool, she went home and told her mom all about it that day. the next day her teacher had placed a hat in front of her and her classmates telling them it would be luck. zoya had crossed her fingers she would get a girl her age, instead she nearly cried when she saw the words logan, florida.

she wrote a small letter introducing herself and silently hoped he would never reply, she didn't want to talk to a boy. maybe if logan didn't reply she would get a new pen pal and maybe it would be a girl. but it would be just her luck that he would reply, she left the letter unopened until her dad almost ripped it, that was when she jumped and opened it. logan seemed nice, but all he did was talk about cars and formula 1. it wasn't zoya's biggest interest but she had talked about her american girl dolls her entire letter. for some strange reason, that she still couldn't explain, zoya had replied and the two struck up a good friendship.

logan may have been across the country but he quickly became her best friend. one of his last physical letters had been him begging for an email address to talk to her because he would be living in the uk for a long time, he didn't know if he would come back to live in states. zoya had pleaded with her mom to let her have an email, and when she caved, the communication with logan was non-stop. of course he always talked about formula 1 but now there was a boy named oscar added into the mix, and he NEVER shut up about him. if zoya hadn't heard of the many girls logan had crushed on she would've thought he was in love with oscar.

zoya torres talks about pen pals, drivers license, and formula one

posted march 2021

comments

username it's so cute that zoya's still friends with her old pen pal.

↳ username right? i stopped talking to my old pen pal when i was 10.

username this isn't weird at all zoya. it's so cute!

username love that the majority of the interview was zoya talking about her pen pal.

username love that she took every opportunity to call this man a basic white boy.

username how many facts does she know about formula one. like how many things did this guy tell her and they just stuck?

↳ username not very many, she said so herself towards the end of the interview. they also don't talk much these days because of her career and his career path is also demanding.

lando norris i spiraled and watched a bunch of zoya's interviews, so zoya, who's your penpal?

zoya torres HOW FAR BACK DID YOU GO?

natalia ruiz aww you have a penpal? that's so cute.

oscar piastri logan has a penpal to

logan sargeant traitor

freya vettel that's cute. how long have you two had your penpals for?

logan sargeant since i was 10 zoya torres i was 8

daniel jones-ricciardo holy shit, that's so fucking cute.

bailey winters fun fact: hope ur okay was inspired by zoya's penpal because they briefly fell out of touch back in 2020

zoya torres traitor

isabella perez I LOVE THAT SONG!

ollie bearman no, you just like crying to sad music isabella perez ollie shut the fuck up

freya vettel i caught her crying to tolerate it the other day

mae jones her dickhead ex showed up in miami, and she's allowed one sad song per day

zoya torres therapy helps!

isabella perez I DON'T NEED THERAPY!!

mick schumacher i needed therapy after the whole haas thing. sebastian vettel you didn't even go mick. you cried over a pint of ice cream for 2 hours mick schumacher but theoretically, i needed therapy. max verstappen i'd need therapy after dealing with maze-spin as my teammate

charles leclerc zoya has corrupted my daughter.

daphne jones-ricciardo she's 4 months old charles, there's nothing about her to corrupt natalia ruiz he means she can't sleep unless there's music playing.

charles leclerc i regret ever letting zoya live with us.

freya vettel that's bullshit and we all know it.

logan sargeant i don't see a problem, charles plays the piano??

natalia ruiz she can't sleep unless it's seven.

max verstappen I TOLD YOU I SHOULD'VE BEEN GODFATHER BUT NO YOU HAD TO GO WITH BITCHIARDO!! daniel jones-ricciardo fuck you verstappen

mae jones they only went with daniel because they wanted daphne as godmother...

natalia ruiz not true, it was either pierre or daniel because i got to pick little jewel's godmother.

pierre gasly IT COULD'VE BEEN ME?! charles leclerc but then you got drunkenly married in vegas and i knew daniel was the right choice

rowan todd that shit's going to haunt us for the rest of our lives

zoya torres digital footprint haunts you forever.

mae jones we should know zoya torres ooh let's not go there

lando norris i'm nosy, so how exactly did you two become friends?

zoya torres interesting question. i'm not answering. i like mystery.

mae jones ooh i agree!

lando norris boo!

zoyatorres posted new stories

forza ferrari something like that.

praying i don't get lost again. i do not need a repeat of miami

red boots to support dad, a gift from daniel in case you weren't sure. we should've saved them for austin.

liked by nataliaruiz, isabellaperez, maejones and others

zoyatorres i'm embracing the ferrari lifestyle at this point

view all comments

user07 every time she's posted charles she's made fun of him and i love that.

↳ zoyatorres someone needs to humble il predestinato and it's gonna be me!

freyavettel it sucks you in zoya, you have no choice but to let it swallow you whole.

↳ zoyatorres see i thought you were all joking, but you're not.

isabellaperez i demand pic credits for that one picture of you!

↳ zoyatorres my bad 📸 to zoya for the second picture!

charles_leclerc WHEN DID YOU GET IN MY CAR??

↳ zoyatorres te-he

↳ isabellaperez crimes were committed mr. leclerc

user87 the commitment to making fun of charles is everything to me

user99 nah cause my mind still can't wrap my head around zoya becoming friends with charles fucking leclerc

user19 she looks so good in red

lilymhe she's an icon

↳ zoyatorres marry me. i'll be a better wag for you than alex could ever be.

↳ alex_albon i will fight you torres. i am not afraid to resort to physical violence

↳ zoyatorres i could take you

maejones pretty girl ❤️

↳ zoyatorres call me ms. steal yo girl because i'm coming for every driver's girlfriends and wives. ricciardo-jones, you're next

↳ danieljricciardo what the hell did i ever do to deserve this?

↳ zoyatorres marry daphne fucking jones

↳ user28 she's so valid for that

user32 she looks so much happier these days and i don’t know what it is.

↳ user80 right? she dumped her ex an instantly became so happy.

↳ user51 not to mention she’s probably got all her frustrations and anger out when she was writing her new album

↳ user32 good for her, she deserves to be happy

↳ user51 facts, zoya deserves all the happiness in the world

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj @dan3avocado @melissayalene @nothanqks @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @chezmardybum @d3kstar @weekendlusting @ragioniera

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! this one’s more of a filler but it does give you an insight on how logan and zoya became pen-pals. which i think is cute, so it's okay that this one is a filler.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[bad268]

Drive (Chris Sturniolo X F1 Driver! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Youtubers

Requested: Day 12 of Writing Inktober prompts instead of drawing!

Warnings: none.

POV: Second Person (You/your)

W.C. 472

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

Writing Inktober 2024 Materlist

~~(^Pinterest)

“Is there any situation you would drive for me?” You asked randomly as you drove to the track with Chris in the passenger seat, like always. He decided to join you for the U.S. Grand Prix since he’s only seen you drive through a screen or on a normal street where you’re not driving almost 300 miles per hour. You were always the designated driver, even if you were tired after driving to the limit for 2 hours straight. He was simply made to be a passenger princess.

“I don’t know how,” He replied, setting his phone to the side after queuing up a few songs. “Trust me, I’d love to say I get to drive around my Formula 1 driver significant other. I just don’t wanna risk it if I crash.”

“I am much more likely to crash during a race than you are on the street,” You laughed as you pulled up to a stoplight and looked over at him. You moved your hand from the gearshift over to his thigh. “It’s much more dangerous when it’s just me behind the wheel. What if I taught you how to drive?”

“I don’t ever wanna drive what you do,” Chris said immediately, shaking his head violently.

“Not a Formula 1 car, dumbass,” You chuckled back as the light changed and you moved your hand back to the gear shift. “Just a normal car. Maybe an automatic since it’ll be easiest for you to learn on.”

“Do you even have an automatic car?”

“No, but Matt does,” You laughed in response, “Why would I, as a racing driver, have an automatic car?”

“Fuck if I know!” He shouted, “Convenience?”

“No,” You replied quietly, briefly looking over at him as you pulled into the car park. You pulled into your designated spot before reaching into the center console and grabbing out your ID and Chris’s paddock pass. You gestured for him to lean forward so that you could put the lanyard around his neck. “Keep this on you at all times. Security at COTA is known to always be checking for it, so make sure it’s always visible. Got it?”

“I got it,” Chris nodded in confirmation before getting out and going through the gates with you. You showed him around the paddock and the garage. It wasn’t that busy since it was just a media day, so there weren’t many fans. You took him on your track walk and pointed random things out for him. Then, when you made it back to the garage, your manager pulled you two aside and put a sticker on Chirs’s pass. “What’s this?”

“It’s for your hot lap,” You said simply as you changed into your team kit, “You didn’t think I would bring you on track and not take you on a hot lap.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[kef-meister]

Nintendo Music

I'll go ahead and say it - Nintendo is just weird. Earlier the year they posted a big FAQ on how piracy is evil and everyone's a criminal - because Nintendo loves that they have a following, but absolutely despises their fan-base.

Since then, we got the baffling Nintendo Alarmo - because I guess Nintendo saw the $99 clock apps on the eShop and figured they'd do one better ... and then since yesterday, Nintendo introduced ... Nintendo Music™?

I downloaded this thing and gave it a try. I've some information already available on the website and app to type down here just so it's in the same place - but also some first impressions and personal takes. Let's-a go.

Data Collection: As with any app, this thing wants your data. It's "the usual", such as what normally is available to apps; log-in info, what phone you use, location and app activity. I mention this, because knowing that your data will be collected and used means you can put a stop to it if necessary. That said, the data collected via the app can be completely deleted by request. (given that I'm in the EU, I'm hoping this is GDPR compliant) Side-note: I'm guessing this might be also be collecting data for Nintendo Alarmo themes. That seems like a Nintendo thing to do.

The App Itself Completely free to download and install, but needs a Nintendo Switch Online (NSO) membership to function. Opens the browser rather than going in-app for your log-in efforts. Feels a little sluggish. Looks and feels like a YouTube Music/Spotify baby. Also immediately tries to be cool by giving you 'character playlists'. I think that's oddly charming.

Music Selection Yeah, this is a meager selection. I think they'll be doing the thing where they will drip-feed more music, since they immediately ask you to turn notifications on when more music drops. So far we got: Switch: Pikmin 4 / PkMn Scarlet & Violet / Splatoon 3 / ACNH / Kirby Star Allies / Super Mario Odyssey / Mario Kart 8 DX / TLOZ: BotW Wii: Super Mario Galaxy / Wii Channels Nintendo DS: Tomodachi Collection / Nintendogs Gamecube: Metroid Prime Game Boy Advance: Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade Nintendo 64: TLoZ: Ocarina of Time / Star Fox 64 SNES: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island / Donkey Kong Country Gameboy: Kirby's Dream Land / Dr.Mario NES: Metroid / Metroid (Famicom) / Mario Bros. The promotional material also lists F-Zero's "Mute City", so we'll see a drop soon enough.

What the app does/allows:

This thing's a streaming service, but does something incredibly un-Nintendo as a treat. I call it that, because Nintendo famously has floundered with a lot of online things .. but I am pleasantly surprised:

Allows song extensions up to an hour in-app (!)

Allows individual downloads for offline listening(!!)

Allows playing the music even when the app is in the background and if the screen is off(!!!). The last point is interesting, because while dedicated music apps tend to do that per default, the most used third-party method for streaming Nintendo's music needs you to pay a premium to do that.

Conclusion: I might not like that this is 'another app' in the pile of apps and distribution systems, but this is a start to solving Nintendo's distribution problem (see the bit about piracy at the top) - which went doubly so for their music. It makes it extra bizarre to me that they allow you to download tracks. Previously, either games had to have a 'music' feature, there had to be specific sales for OST's or people had to go for ... third-party methods.

If you have NSO, consider this app a bonus. I'm hoping this won't get enshittified within half a year.

[putschki1969]

Kaji Fes.2023 Day 1 FULL Video [Reupload]

Find the original post from last night HERE. It doesn't show up on the Tumblr dashboard so only people who actively check my blog have seen it. I exchanged the video with an official one so I guess it might have been a copyright issue. Don't think I've ever had one, very interesting.

»»——  CLICK ME 🎁 CLICK ME ——««

❗FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ ❗CREDIT me if you SHARE on other sites❗

I was quite excited to watch this since I only attended Day 2 last December. I didn’t necessarily regret not going for Day 1 but there were a couple of really neat songs in the setlist that I kinda wished I had been able to see performed live. The audio seems a bit dull but maybe it’s just me… Anyway, it’s still a pretty epic live. Please note that they decided to cut a handful of songs from the broadcast (probably to keep the whole thing at roughly 2 hours). The following songs are not included: fake garden, canta per me, she has to overcome her fear, I beg you and 砂塵の彼方へ.

Here are some random thoughts┗(•ˇ_ˇ•)―→

fake garden

canta per me

the world: Nothing much to say here. Decent performance but I liked the song more when it was led by Keiko.

Liminality: Loved, loved, loved this version with the amazingly talented Yuri Kasahara, Keiko and Kaori. The bridge here might be my favourite of all time.

in the land of twilight, under the moon: Never been a fan.

swordland: Another highlight for me. I think it’s easy to tell that I am a real sucker for YK’s guest vocalists that use a more operatic singing style.

she has to overcome her fear

luminous sword: Always been a big fan of Yuki’s SAO soundtrack. I understand why it gets performed a lot.

星屑: Even though this is a Keiko-centric song, I’ve never really liked it all that much so I don’t have much to say about it.

花守の丘: Solid.

ｗe’re gonna groove: Those who have followed me for a while know how I feel about the accordion. I dislike this instrument with a passion and it’s just featured way too heavily here. Fun fact, when Day 2 started with the accordion, I got really scared and wondered whether or not I would enjoy myself.

Obsession: Can’t say I’ve ever heard this song before. Sadly, it’s nothing that leaves a lasting impression. Also, that accordion…(¬_¬) Weird choice for LINO LEIA. It was fun hearing Keiko sing a bit of English though.

千夜一夜: Once again, not familiar with the song. Like this one a bit more though. Generally, I think I prefer rito’s vocals over LINO’s even though I don’t really know why.

Point Zero: This is one of my all-time favourite YK songs and one of the few tracks I really regret not seeing live on Day 1. Another epic performance by Yuri Kasahara. God, I love her so much.

salva nos: Speaking of regrets, yup, I’ll admit it, I am pretty bummed that I missed this one. “salva nos” and “a song of storm and fire” were the very first YK songs I ever listened to and they quite literally changed the trajectory of my life. Without those two songs, I wouldn’t have looked into more of YK’s stuff and I certainly wouldn’t have discovered Kalafina. One day, I wanna be there for a live performance. At least I got to hear “a song of storm and fire” on Day 2. So grateful for that!! Anyway, super epic.

花の唄: No thoughts.

I beg you

櫂: Ahh, I almost forgot about Aimer’s Mizu no Akashi 2.0. It’s so funny to me that this is literally copy/paste. Lovely melody, I don’t even mind the vocals all that much but damn, it’s not even coming close to Wakana’s Mizu no Akashi.

朝が来る: Decent but nothing to write home about.

My Story: Ohhh, another score track from “Hanako to Anne”. I was actually blown away by Day 2’s “希望の光”. This is not as good but still quite nice. Weirdly enough I am obsessed with the uilleann pipes. How come I can’t stand the accordion but I absolutely love this instrument? Probably because I am really into the celtic sound?

Parallel Hearts: Ugh, never liked this song, not even when Wakana was still around.

stone cold: This on the other hand is a song I’ve always enjoyed but with Wakana no longer in the picture, it’s just not the same. Will never get used to the Kaori chorus. Sorry T_T Still like this though.

the image theme of Xenosaga II: Good stuff.

蒼穹のファンファーレ: Love that this is focusing on the FJ regulars. My favourite performance of the song so far.

[whatyoudontseeaboutme]

Some streaming tips/info 💗

Moncayo by juanjo bona - 11/29! 🏔️

General rules:

DON’T LOOP (use queue)

sound on! Just turn on earphones with volume up and leave them to the side

Share links on socials 💕

Turn off autoplay

Don’t use vpn

30 seconds is the minimum to count as a stream

Premium accounts have more weight towards charts

Don’t do overnight playlists

YouTube:

Can skip ads

Don’t clear history or cache

Quality must be over 480p

Can mute on device but don’t mute YouTube volume

Watch videos in between

Don’t use “stream” or “streaming” when commenting. Can use a few emojis

Don’t spam the comments (leave a few nice comments and like other comments)

Free accounts have heavier filtering

Don’t use incognito mode

Don’t use multiple tabs/browsers

Only 2 accounts per up address and use different accounts

Don’t use ad block

Don’t close from video. Click on another video before exiting

Spotify:

Interact every hour (like, skip, add, delete, etc.)

Fans usually make lots of playlists which helps immensely and makes everything easier

2-3 filler songs

Don’t shuffle

Can loop your playlist

Recommended not to use “stream” or “streaming” in playlists titles as they might be considered bots

Apple Music: streams are premium. Charting there and official or user playlists give exposure to a bigger audience

Doesn’t track streaming via numbers

HAS A LOWER FILTERING RATE

AVOID bot like behavior

Can be used on android & web browser

There’s no daily cap limit 🙌

Search up the track or playlist manually

Favorite the track and leave a rating 👍

Use artist/themed playlists

Mvs count as streams

1-2 filler songs in your playlist

Some people say to delete to song if purchased before streaming and some say it’s not necessary so you decide

Don't stream simultaneously on different devices or browsers while using the same account

Switch playlists from time to time

There are a lot of ways to get free trials 🤟

Remember to have fun and stream how YOU want to! Nobody is forcing you to do anything. This is just to spread info. Hope this helps someone 💖 lmk if you have any questions!

[vgtrackbracket]

Video Game Track Bracket Round 2

Sky Tower from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Blue Rescue Team

vs.

Challenging a Queen from Stray Gods: The Roleplaying Musical

Propaganda under the cut. If you want your propaganda reblogged and added to future polls, please tag it as propaganda or otherwise indicate this!

Challenging a Queen:

The main selling point of Stray Gods is the music. Musical numbers happen in-universe and the choices you make have a tangible effect on both the song and characters. There are multiple decision points in each song letting you choose between one of three paths to take, giving a ton of variation per song.

There are four different OSTs that highlight the different choices you can make. The red, blue, and green editions show what songs sound like when sticking to a consistent tone throughout. The Pantheon edition mixes choices in way that is both similar to how a real person might play and avoids too much overlap with the other main versions. The main composer for the game, Austin Wintory, made a video explaining how the different versions compare and contrast along with some extra behind the scenes tidbits.

I just love how instead of just having plug and play verses, songs in Stray Gods went the extra mile to make sure things flowed in to each other in such a way that you can believe each version is a definitive one. With 17 different endings and multiple ways to get there, there’s boundless potential in this song. (I’m not adding the video that shows off all the endings. It’s over an hour and I feel like I’m pushing my luck.)

[latin-phrases-showdown]

Finals

Memento mori

Means 'remember you must die'

Mostly showcased through artwork, a memento mori reminds us of the brevity of our time here and the fragility of human life.

A basic memento mori painting would be a portrait with a skull but other symbols commonly found are hour glasses or clocks, extinguished or guttering candles, fruit, and flowers.

The [picture on the right] is Pablo Picasso's 'Goat's Skull, Bottle and Candle'

Per aspera ad astra

Means "to the stars through difficulties / a rough road leads to the stars"

It’s the motto of many groups (both real and fictional) including government entities, schools, research institutions, fraternities/sororities. It appears in novels including "to kill a mockingbird” and “red rising.” It’s the starfleet motto in star trek. It appears in many songs. It’s the title of a tribute exhibit to the apollo i astronauts and written on a plaque at the site where they died. and it’s recorded, in morse code, on the track called “sounds of the earth,” on the voyager golden records that are on voyager 1 and 2 that are intended to represent the human species to any other life out there that may come across the spacecraft in the distant future.

[theresattrpgforthat]

Any solo-player/journal games that are a bit more lighthearted, preferably with a focus on character building?

Theme: Light-Hearted, Character-Focused Solo Games.

Hello friend! I have some games here that skew more towards the Light-Hearted end of the scale, while others skew more towards Character Building. I hope one of them fits right in the niche you are looking for!

Souvenirs, by Rémi Töötätä.

You are going on a week-long vacation. You are determined to enjoy every visit you go on and come back home with souvenirs from each day, including one for your friend who is taking care of your pet while you’re away.

During the game, you will keep a journal of the places you’re going to and the souvenirs you’re getting. Draw cards each day of your vacation and use prompts to imagine the places you visit, the items you get as souvenirs and the memories they represent.Make yourself a nice cup of tea, write the diary of your character each day, maybe draw a map of the region and pictures of the items you imagine, or play entirely in your head; and most of all, have a lovely time!

This looks like a very lighthearted game, and the souvenirs you collect as you play seem like excellent tools to convey personal memories. This game is meant to happen over the course of a week, so every morning you can sit down and journal about where your character would visit, and what would catch their eye. As you do so, you’ll also want to think about who you’re buying for, and what kind of connection you have to them. At the end of the game, you’ll have a lovely web of relationships, as well as a little story to take back to your NPC friends.

Hygge Holiday, by Figgins.

Hygge Holiday is a solo journaling RPG set in a cozy small village in a Nordic country.

You’ve travelled home for an extended winter holiday, with lots of vacation time.  Winter is a time to slow down and focus on simple pleasures and good company. Luckily, the Nordic countries offer free health care and university education, on top of many weeks of paid holiday per year, and generous unemployment benefits--meaning less worry, stress and uncertainty, and more time for enjoying the simple pleasures in life. How will you spend your time, and with whom? 

This game probably feels more fitting for the cold weather days, but it certainly looks like a great cozy game none the less. You earn paper snowflakes that reflect your experiences and you will also journal about these memories, which might fit the character-building kind of theme you are looking for!

Etude of the Evening, by Takuma Okada.

Etude of the Evening is a tabletop roleplaying game about recovering lost objects from your brilliant past. It is a hack of Songs for the Dusk by Kavita Poduri and Quinn Vega combined with You Will Destroy Something Beautiful by Samantha Day. Uses a six-sided die, for 1 to 3 players. 1-2 hours.

Overall, I think the tone for this game can vary, but it certainly hits the spot of focusing on your character. You’ll answer questions about who you are at the beginning of the game, and navigate a strange landscape. If you want to focus on a light-hearted tone, then you’ll just want to take descriptive choices that focus on beauty rather than decay.

The Land Beyond, by Cezar Capacle.

You are a raccoon. You lived your whole life on an island but now you have a hot air balloon.

You want to be free and reach The Land Beyond.

The Land Beyond is a solo RPG about letting go and going beyond what you think you could. You travel through wondrous lands living fantastic adventures along the way. 

During your journey, you will have the opportunity to reflect upon the burdens you carry with you and, luckily, let go of them so you can travel even further.

This is a journeying game that looks like it’s probably a little less light-hearted than you’re looking for, but really focuses on character reflection. I like the oracles for events in this book, and the idea of tracking the gas in your balloon in order to see how far you can go. I’m keeping this recommendation in because even if it requires a lot of serious character reflection, at the end of the day, you’re still a raccoon in a hot air balloon - and that just feels whimsical to me.

Creation Myths, by gothHoblin.

Creation Myths is a solo journeying game based on the hero's journey/monomyth narrative template. 

It is designed to help you dive deeper into character creation through the development of a backstory adventure via dice and prompts, and to provide you with new things to think about. It can also work as a way to redevelop existing characters and generate fresh ideas. With multiple modes of play available, all you need is a set of dice and somewhere to write. Let your imagination do the rest!

This is another case of your mileage may vary when it comes to tone, because you’ll be the source of ideas for coming up with a character backstory. This is meant to be pretty genre-agnostic, so you might want to pull from other games or pieces of media to decide what kind of character you want to write backstory for. It’s solely focused on character development, but again, whether or not it’s lighthearted is probably up to you.

Incarnation, by breathing stories.

At some mundane moment, something shifted in you. The number of ‘coincidences’ became too large to be without meaning. The deja vu became impossible to ignore. It hit you, not like a sack of bricks, but like a shawl landing firmly on your shoulders.

This is not your first life. You have lived many others, and now they start trickling in…

In Incarnation, you create a character who has just become aware that the life they are leading is not their first life. Using a tarot deck you will create the story of this character and their past lives, uncovering secrets pleasant and otherwise.

With all that this character has been through, the weight of all they hold, who are they really?

This game has the potential to shift in tone, but since it’s played using a tarot deck, I feel like much of the genre and details will depend on the player’s interpretation. It’s deeply tied to character building, as the game revolves around discovering your character’s past lives. If Anamnesis sounds up your alley, then this game might tick a lot of the same boxes, as it’s built on the same set of rules.

Fox Curio’s Floating Bookshop, by lostwaysclub.

Welcome to the River; a flowing path born at the mountain’s feet. In her high narrows, barely two boats fit lengthwise; a furious pounding of water. From these rocky ravines, she threads her way through the land, until she reaches the Great Sea. Quiet and slow-moving in these lowlands, she provides homes for those who live upon her waters and food for those who live beside her.

Your days are filled with customers, leaks and the irritating nook beetles that bury into the pages of your books. Make friends with regular customers to the bookshop, experience the River as she moves through the different seasons, visit and explore various towns, go fishing in the River's rich waters. Throughout the year, the seasons change and holidays give the chance for you to join in celebrations and festivities with the animalfolk. 

This game is at the top of the list when looking at tone; it’s absolutely lighthearted, but I’m not sure how much it focuses on character building. Most of the focus will be on your customers, but I think as you journal, you have the potential to learn more about your character through the kinds of books they sell and how they deal with customers. Overall the tone of this world is so beautiful and peaceful, it’s on my own list of games I’d love to play.

Games I've Recommended in the Past

Void 1680 AM, by Bannerless Games.

Anamnesis, by Sam Leigh.

Wanderhome, by Jay Dragon.

[jennracer]

Rebrand yourself:

: 1 : physically ~ᝰ.ᐟ

By eunhee-jk ᝰ.ᐟ

To maintain a healthy routine, you must be engage in regular physical activity. It's up to you to choose a sport that you enjoy. Here are the ones that have worked for me:

Pilates: search on youtube

Wonyoung pilate routine

Jennie pilate routine

Workout: search on youtube

Kazuha workout

Lesserafim workout

Lalisa workout

If you don't like exercising, you should aim for a minimum of 10,000 steps per day but along with it be verrrrry hydrated.drink lots of water. When I dont feel like walking or excercising then i would just dance on my favourite pop and kpop songs.

• your fav outfit + lip gloss + Sunscreen + Water bottle + Your best playlist = the best walk of your life★

Here are a few more tipsᝰ.ᐟ:⋆.˚

1. Don't wait to feel motivated to start exercising !

If you know you'll be lazy, prepare your gym bag, your workout clothes, or if you exercise at home, prepare your workout mat with the necessary equipment... the goal is to have no excuses when the time comes to engage in physical activity.

2. Be disciplined and consistent !

Organize your workout sessions and be regular. It's better to have three 30-minute sessions per week than one 2-hour session per week.

3. Be patient!

I assure you that results will come. I recommend tracking your performance/sessions. You can do it in various ways:

• Take photos of your body (Guuuurl! When I look at pictures of myself from 6months ago, I don't even recognize myself !!)

• Have a tracking notebook where you record your fitness results or weight... a notebook where you track your goals and your achievements.

Alternatively, there are apps available where you can track everything so search and discover which works best for you

Bonus: Don't compare yourself to others; stay focused on yourself and your progress.

[alcnek]

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : summer goals ༉‧₊˚

      1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ↺ ᴿᴱᴾᴱᴬᵀ ‖ ᴾᴬᵁˢᴱ ≫ ᴺᴱˣᵀ ˢᴼᴺᴳ

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯

here are my goals for this summer that i will be tracking.

general

❀ LDH project

❀ practice piano again

❀ REALLY study korean

❀ do kashkick again

specific

❀ LDH prelabs

❀ LDH lab reports

❀ learn chronosaurus by skz

❀ learn hedwig's theme (if i could find whole score)

❀ go over my 2 korean books (speedrun)

❀ kashkick surveys

checklist

❀ LDH purification (Day 1)

❀ LDH purification (Day 2)

❀ LDH purification (Day 3)

❀ LDH purification (Day 4)

❀ LDH enzyme inhibition

❀ LDH purification report

❀ LDH enzyme inhibition report

❀ practice 1 song for 1 hour (switch songs when fully "mastered")

❀ 2 chapters per day

❀ 1 survey per day

note: i want to keep myself busy!! the LDH things are necessary tho.

also, yes, i have been studying korean here and there during the semester, but i haven’t been practicing in between those times. and i’m really trying to get through these books 100% and understand everything in them.

[writing-whump]

The Road Less Smooth

Summary: Isaiah and Seline argue during a car ride, not realizing Seline's fever. Contains emeto. 

Seline didn't want to go.

Visiting the representative of the West European Pack seemed entirely unnecessary, if not downright dictatorial to her. Why did she need to go? She was from Eastern Europe, so she was resigned with the representatives at home. Why did they have to keep track of where she was studying, what she was doing, and where she decided to belong?

The audacity and injustice of it all were driving her crazy with anger.

Isaiah offered to drive her. The message came from him, so she wasn't happy with him, but since she was scared to drive anything over 50 kilometers per hour, effectively banning her from all highways, his offer shortened her 4-hour long train drive to a direct 2.

Seline knew she should be thankful. And not let her anger out on the messenger. Then again, she thought Isaiah didn't belong to a pack to be free and not to follow orders. Not to mention what a good mood he was in. He was smiling behind the steering wheel, fingers tapping it lightly in synch with the music. He had his formal suit on and his long black coat, which she was starting to see as characteristic to him. All polite greetings and smiles. Was he enjoying this?

"So. How is the university going? I hear you finished your bachelor's last semester. You decided to continue on the same faculty. You like it there so much?" One of Isaiah's many attempts to make conversation. 

Seline wasn't one for small talk. Either say something you really want to know or shut up. She would be content just leaning against the window and listening to music, though plugging in her headphones seemed a little too rude.

"It got real worse last semester," she grumbled at the reminder. "Got a really chaotic teacher that makes us do a totally useless project, just because they got money and funds for it. So much for scientific independence. You just research whatever the politicians see as trendy to research."

Isaiah raised his eyebrows, throwing her a look. "You intend to stay in science?"

"I wanted to. But now I think I would much rather be independent. Make my own writing courses of sorts. Not be bound by anybody else's decisions."

"Just the market's whims," he remarked with a grin.

Seline hissed at that but nodded. "Yes. But the market is way fairer than anything I would believe the state to do." Despite the a/c blasting in the car, she felt warm. Uncomfortably warm. She pressed her palm against the opening for the cold air.

"So, what are you specializing in? Where did the writing part come in?"

"I guess you could say I got that from the witchcraft. I'm a Singer. I sing water and air into obedience and the most effective are original songs. All the writing necessary made me into an expert on writing theory." She waved at herself, the air suffocating and hot but flashing a satisfied snicker in Isaiah's direction. "I bet you couldn't name a book on writing I haven't read."

"That's an unusual approach. Most witches I know use pentagrams or incantations. Did you want to study it at the university?"

Her face fell a little. "You can't exactly study creative writing in Europe. Buuuut there is a lot of other stuff you can study, like film analysis, popular culture, media communication, epistemology, psychological processes for creativity…I found a good master that combines all these, so I can research the creative process itself." She gave him a measured look, blue eyes the shade of an upcoming storm. "You are studying psychology, aren't you? Rather unusual for a shadow wolf."

He smiled at that. "I like to stick out a little."

"Yeah. I thought you were different." Selined sighed loudly, leaning her head against the window. "Except we can't manage everything we wish for, can we?"

Isaiah gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Whatever do you mean?" 

"They call, and you obey. Like a good little lapdog." Seline stuck her chin out, watching him defiantly. 

"Is that what you think?" Isaiah didn't seem ruffled at her words at all, a little grin growing on his face. "I don't agree with this any more than you do."

Seline scoffed at that. "And why should I believe you? You pretend to know the gold is just glitter on the cage - like you successfully got rid of it - yet you are driving me to the gates yourself."

A long, tense silence stretched between them.

"Should I be more angry, Seline?" Isaiah was still smiling, but there was something darker about his tone and the way he focused his gaze on the road. "Should I rage, provoke, and complain like you?"

"Better be angry than pretend to smile and do nothing!" Her voice raised before she could stop herself. 

"Anger is a weakness. It gives you away. Why should I allow such an emotion to rule me?" His eyes were fixed on the road. 

"You are a shadow wolf. It's kinda of expected. I can rage all I want, and it will always be inappropriate. But you got the perfect excuse,” she waved her hand in frustration. 

"I don't believe in excuses." His voice was quiet but cutting. 

"No. You believe in lies. Masks and moods and faces, it's all you are. The polite and funny one today, the serious and scary one tomorrow." Seline crossed her hands on her chest.

"All the masks are me. Different faces of me, different roles I take for the situation. They are tools. My extensions. Wouldn't you change your cloak according to the weather?" His dark sea-green eyes flicked to her for a moment. 

"I would not change it to fit other people's expectations," she said proudly. 

"If I know what people want, I can get what I want much more easily. So even if I disagree with this policy, it's better I take you myself and not let somebody force you. It's better to look relaxed while you are alert and watching. It's better not to be ruled by emotions while they rule everyone else. So yes, I'm taking you to the gates myself, but I also know all the holes in the fence." He eyed her, eyebrows furrowing slightly in annoyance, before smoothing over. "You just want what you think you can't have." 

Seline frowned angrily and looked away. As much as she disagreed, it got her thinking. She didn't realize he had so many answers figured out for himself. 

"I find anger safe,” she said into the silence. “It's better than fear. Gives you energy and motivation to do something. To stand up for yourself or change what's wrong."

He raised one perfect black eyebrow. "So you are afraid of me?"

"No-I…" She gulped, her throat constricting. Something about his intense tone, about the speed and emotion of the debate, made her keep talking. "I'm tired. Of not feeling anything. Of feeling too much and not being able to do anything about it, because it's unseemly for witches.” 

Because I should be calming you down, but I envy your freedom to be angry.

He gave her a long look. "You can be angry all you want around me,” he said quietly. 

She hid her face in her palm as if wanting to wash away the tension. "And you will stay calm? Is that the mask you want to wear for me?" 

"I'm the one who wants to wear the mask. I'm the one crafting it, the one willing to change it so it fits you better. Does that count for nothing true?" 

“You sure are poetic about it,” she grumbled, pressing her hand against her forehead. There was a dull pounding in her temples, and the air still felt disgustingly hot.

“Seline? Is something wrong?” Isaiah asked, concerned.

She wasn’t sure. The car ride, the smothering heat, the pins and needles in her arms…she wasn’t even sure why she was reacting so strongly to the conversation. Although she usually never got motion sick, her stomach was rolling rather aggressively. She squeezed her eyes shut, hand covering her mouth for a second.

“Do you think we could take a little break?” she pressed through her teeth. There was a nauseating shiver crawling up her spine and neck. If only the car could stop moving for a second.

“Sure thing,” Isaiah said, detecting the urgency in her voice. He turned towards the left line leading to the nearest rest spot. “Just a few minutes.”

Seline held her eyes closed, breathing slowly through her nose and mouth. Something was definitely wrong.

Once the car finally stopped, she immediately burst the door open, gulping at the sweet, fresh air. The nausea rocked through her like she was on a boat, and she could feel liquid coming up her throat.

Seline stumbled quickly out, only to sway and fall to her knees. Scrambling awkwardly, she wanted to get some distance between herself and the car. The world was spinning and blurry around her and she lost track of how far she was. A wave of vomit spluttered from her lips. Seline could do nothing but spit it out helplessly. 

Her stomach was hurting, cramping hard. She whimpered softly as another wave of sickness rushed out of her.

A cold hand on her arm made her look up. The outline of Isaiah’s middle long black hair, subtly wavy at the ends, hovered over her. He was kneeling beside her, pulling hair out of her face. She felt the milky-like vomit drip from her lips and chin and would have burst into tears if another wave hadn’t made her choke and hang her head in surrender.

“You are okay. Take it easy. You will feel better in a minute,” Isaiah said, hand running through her hair to her back.

“Ugh. What about this seems -uurp- okay to you?” 

He chuckled, rubbing her back as it arched again and she was heaving another gush of vomit. 

“Just a minute. It will pass soon.”

She took quick panting breaths, trying to clear her head. There was still that blurry film over her eyes, the green of the grass mixing with blue over her. Isaiah’s hand was grounding on her back, his touch assured and steady. 

She spit on the ground, her eyes clearing. “Go away,” she said. The embarrassment was hitting her hard now, frustrated tears running down her cheeks.

“A little late now,” he smiled, gathering the strands of hair on the other side of her face behind her ear. Then he charmed out a clean tissue our of his pocket. “You should have told me you weren’t feeling well.”

“Didn’t realize,” she mumbled, taking the offered tissue. At least she could clean up her face a little.

A cool hand pressed against her aching forehead. “You are running a fever.” 

“No wonder I was so snappy,” she admitted, leaning into his touch without thinking. Everything was so hot, only his skin seemed to be of desirable temperature. 

“I didn’t see a difference to your usual self,” Isaiah teased. His touch was so gentle like she was made of glass. “Do you still feel sick?”

She assessed herself, then shook her head no. Now that she had thrown up, the nausea lifted like it was never there. If only she wasn’t still so warm. Despite the sensation, a shiver ran through her and she hunched her shoulders.

“Your wish came true,” he said, wrapping his hands around her from behind, dragging her with him as he stood up. Her head felt woozy at the movement and she clutched at his hands around her torso. “The trip is canceled. You are going straight home tonight.”

He guided her towards the car and helped her sit down again. She blinked at the haziness that overtook her, feeling bone-deep tiredness crushing over her. Closing her eyes, she leaned back. 

She felt his shadow above her before disappearing to hunt down a water bottle from the back. Accepting the bottle, she settled it securely in her arms but didn’t have the energy to drink it just yet. 

The car jumped a little as he got inside, shutting the door gently. She rolled her head in his general direction, squinting. Everything was so hot and confusing again, swimming in and out of focus. Was this still real? Maybe she was dreaming.

Isaiah started the engine and then squeezed her knee. “Hang on, darling. We’ll be home in no time.”