#16 year old me is absolutely thrilled based off of what I have seen from her

[donna-medusa-gorgon]

I still haven’t watched Hazbin yet but everything online made me want to draw Rosie and Donna SO BAD

So here’s them based off that wlw art challenge! It’s based on the cover of Jessie Dumont “I Prefer Girls”

[nxsmss]

Movies I watched in February

fyi, I have zero knowledge on how to professionally rate or review a movie. I am not gonna pay attention to every little detail. these rating are simply based on how much I enjoyed/liked the movie

Follow me

Unhinged

In Time

Avengers Age of Ultron

Songbird

Star Trek

Step up all in

Project Almanac

Ant Man

Space Sweepers

Christiane F.

Jurassic World

Jurassic World the fallen kingdom

1. follow me

A social media personality travels with his friends to Moskow to capture new content for his successful vlog. Always pushing the limits and catering to a growing audience, they enter a cold world of mystery, excess, and danger. 

starring: Keegan Allen, Holland Roden, Denzel Whitaker, Ronen Rubenstein, Pasha D. Lchnikoff

the end was very predictable and i pretty much already knew halfway through the movie what was gonna happen. but it still was quite thrilling and I did enjoy watching it

6.5/10

2. unhinged

After a confrontation with an unstable man at an intersection, a woman becomes becomes the target of his rage. 

starring: Russel Crowe, Caren Pistorius, Gabriel Batemen

hm idk, I didn’t really like it, my sister didn’t really like it but my mom did, I think. it just seemed so, no overdramatic but just too much in a way

3/10

3. in time

In a future where people stop aging after 25 and need to buy time to live, the rich become immortal while others cease to exist. So, Will is on the run with a hostage in a desperate bid to survive. 

starring: Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried, Cillian Murphy, Olivia Wilde, Alex Pettyfer

yes, such a good movie. Ireally like the concept. can recommend

7/10

4. avengers age of ultron

When Tony Stark and Bruce Banner try to jump-start a dormant peacekeeping program called Ultron, things go horribly wrong and it’s up to Earth’s mightiest heroes to stop the villanious Ultron from enacting his terrible plan. 

starring: Robert Downy Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johanson, Jeremy Renner, Elizabeth Olsen, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Paul Bettany

hell yes, one of my favourite marvel movies. Wanda and Pietro.. Hawkeye.. all the little jokes throughout the entire movie and of course the scene where everyone tries to lift thor’s hammer, what’s not to love about this movie

10/10

5. songbird

In 2024 a pandemic ravages the world and it’s cities. Centering a handful of people as they naviagete the obstacles currently hindering society: disease, marital law, quarantine, and vigilantes. 

starring: K.J. Apa, Sofia Carson, Demi Moore, Bradley Whitford, Peter Stromare, Alexandra Daddario, Craig Robinson

I really enjoyed watching this. yeah sure, the ending was obvious but I was still glued to the screen. I also felt super weird watching this, kinda surreal because we are basically living a more harmless version of this rn. I really liked seeing sofia carson in such a movie, I’ve only seen her in the descendants so this was a bit of a change haha. I’m not that big of a fan of kj but he was great as well and i really loved his characters style.

7/10

6. star trek

The brash James T. Kirk tries to live up to his father’s legacy with Mr. Spock keeping him in check as a vengeful Romulan from the future creates black holes to destroy the Federation one planet at a time. 

starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Leonard Nimoy, Carl Urban, Eric Bana, Bruce Greenwood, Zoe Zaldana, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Anton Yelchin

I put it on because I wanted to have some background noise while playing sims but I ended up playing like 20 minutes and then just watching the movie haha I forgot how good it was, and the others as well, aaand I totally forgot carl urban was in it, so that was a little surprise. anyways, can recommend watching them if you’re into sci-fi action movies but at the same time, if you’re into that I’m pretty sure you’ve already watched them.

7.5/10

bonus: I also watched star trek beyond the other day but this time I was barely paying attention so I can't really say too much, but it's also quite good👍🏻

7. step up all in

All-stars from the previous Step up installments come together in glittering Las Vegas, battling for a victory that could define their dreams and their careers.

starring: Ryan Guzman, Briana Evigan, Adam Sevani, Misha Gabriel Hamilton, Sephen Stevo Jones, David Schreibman, Mari Koda, Alyson Stoner, Izabella Miko

definetly one of my favourite dance movies. highly recommend it!! I’d like it more without the romancde but it’s fine, I guess, I can live with it haha and the last performance... wow just wow that’s all I can say to that. y’all go watch it

9/10

8. project almanac

A group of teens discover secret plans of a time machine, and construct one. However, things start to get out of control.

starring: Jonny Weston, Sofia Black-D’Elia, Sam Lerner, Allen Evangelista, Virginia Gardner

okay... I did enjoy watching it! the beginning was a little slow imo but then it just got more and more intense which was kinda nice. god, at some point the main guy kept making the wrong decisions and that was very frustrating to watch. the ending was alright, spoiler ahead (I guess) I would have liked the ending more if it was the exact same as the beginning, meaning that the movie is just one big time loop and the events from the movie were about to repeat themselves. but that's just my opinion🤷🏻‍♀️

6.5/10

9. ant man

Armed with a super-suit with the astonishing ability to shrink in scale but increase in strength, cat burglar Scott Lang must embrace his inner hero and help his Mentor Dr. Pym, plan and pull off a heist that will save the world.

starring: Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, Evangeline Lilly, Corey Stoll, Michael Pena, Bobby Cannavale, David Dastmalchian, T.I.

another one of my favorite mcu movies. it's just fun and easy and doesn't have a lot of pain in it. the giant ant it's my favorite part haha I want it as a pet

9/10

10. space sweepers

Set in the year 2092 and follows the crew of a space junk collector ship called The Victory. When they discover a humanoid robot named Dorothy that's known to be a weapon of mass destruction, they get involved in a risky business deal.

starring: Song Joong-Kim, Kim Tae-ri, Seon-kyu Jin, Hyang-gi Kim, Richard Armitage, Ye-Rin Park

I really loved this movie. I cried like 6 times haha, which came unexpected. (or maybe it's because I'm suppose to get my period any day now) I did not think I was going to enjoy this movie as much as I did, at all. it was fun, it was exciting, it was sad (even my dad said that) the plot was good, the visual effects were amazing, it did feel like I was watching this movie for like 5 hours but not in a bad way and I am now kinda emotionally attached to the characters haha (I might do a rewatch). another thing I really liked was the language/synchronization. in the original version they speak mostly korean and english but also some other languages and it's the same in the synchronizations. the dialogue of the main characters is in the language you pick but every other character (I guess) is a different language and I absolutely love that. I highly recommend watching this!!

also, its was super weird seeing Richard Armitage not as a dwarf hahaha

10/10

11. christiane f.

A teen girl in 1970's Berlin becomes addicted to heroin. Everything in her life slowly begins to distort and disappear as she befriends a small crew of junkies and falls in love with a drug-abusing male prostitute.

starring: Natja Brunckhorst, Thomas Haustein, Jens Kuphal, Christiane Reichelt

I binged the series the other day and after the last episode this movie was in the "watch next" thingy idk and I thought "well, why not" and watched it. good movie, definitely!! I really liked that they didn't show the highs of doing heroin but focused on the negative effects it has on someone and what it's doing to your body. it is a super realistic but very very dark movie. the actors were all about 15/16 years old and looked very young which was a good and kinda disturbing thing because christiane and her friend were like 13/14 when that all happened and it made you realise that there were kids doing all that stuff

9/10

12. jurrasic world

A new theme park, built on the original site of Jurassic Park, creates a genetically modified hybrid dinosaur, the Indominus Rex, which escapes containment and goes on a killing spree.

starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Ty simpkins, Nick Robinson, Irrfan Khan, Vincent D'Onofrio

13. jurassic world fallen kingdom

When the island's dormant volcano begins roaring to life, Owen and Claire mount a campaign to rescue the remaining dinosaurs from this extinction-level event.

starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Rafe Spall, Justice Smith, Daniella Pineda, Isabella Sermon

I am tired and don't really want to say all that much other than both of them are very good and I do like them. good action/adventure movies. can definitely recommend them. I definitely like the first one more because it feels like (just a little bit) that the main story in the second one is the same as in the first one, someone creates a new dinosaur species to make more money and something goes terribly wrong along the way. but it's still entertaining!

jurassic wolrd: 7.5/10

jurassic world fallen kingdom: 7/10

[shireness-says]

Playing the Part Epilogue: Superboy and the Invisible Girl (Reprise)

Summary: As a stage manager who’s clawed her way up from the bottom, Emma Swan can handle just about anything thrown her way. But does that include handsome lead actor Killian Jones? A CS Broadway AU.  Rated T. Also on AO3.  Prologue  Ch. 1  Ch. 2  Ch. 3Ch. 4  Ch. 5  Ch. 6  Ch. 7  Ch. 8  Ch. 9  Ch. 10  Ch. 11  Ch. 12 Ch. 13  Ch. 14  Ch. 15  Ch. 16  Ch. 17  Ch. 18

A/N: We made it, guys! Thanks for sticking with me through the slowest slow burn ever. I like to think it paid off.

Title taken from “Next to Normal”. Full disclosure, there is not a reprise of “Superboy and the Invisible Girl” in the musical. However, a reprise oftentimes takes the original song and builds upon it, adding extra verses to show development in plot. It seemed appropriate for this chapter, which has echoes of Chapter 13 (Also called Superboy and the Invisible Girl).

One last round of thanks to @snidgetsafan for her beta services, and an extra thank you to everyone who’s reblogged, liked, commented, or messaged me about this!

Tags: @kmomof4, @winterbaby89, @thejollyroger-writer, @mythologicalmango, @onceuponaprincessworld, @idristardis, @teamhook, @courtorderedcake, @aerica13, @revanmeetra87, @snowbellewells, @searchingwardrobes, @mystrangedarkson

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy this sappy conclusion!

Four years later

“Welcome back to Sign Off, everybody!”

Emma knows that Killian will do his ear scratch when he finds her watching his segment, but she wouldn’t miss this for the world. It’s like reliving a little bit of their history. Plus, it’s not every day that your spouse is on national television; skipping this would earn her “Bad Wife” points, or something.

He’s still bashful as he walks out, still kind of ducks his head when he waves and acts like he’s embarrassed to be there. You’d think after several years of magazine interviews and newspaper profiles and talk show appearances he’d lose some of that shyness and uncertainty, or at least get used to it, but some things never change. It’s a damn good thing she finds it cute.

Archie is as charming as ever, shaking Killian’s hand with an enthusiasm usually reserved for inside jokes. That’s just who the host is, though. “So, it’s been a while since we saw you last. I hear a few things have happened.”

“Oh, just a few.”

Hopper starts pulling out photos. “Pride and Prejudice was a hit.”

“Yes, a great group effort. They just closed a few months ago, congrats to everyone involved.”

The host shows a picture from his Tony speech. “You won a Tony for playing Mr. Darcy.”

“So they tell me. My brother kidnapped the statue.”

(That’s only halfway true. Yes, Liam had taken the statue for a while, setting up a popular Instagram account to display all the places he took the golden figure. One of those places had been Henry’s 6th grade English class, turning her son into a middle school celebrity for a couple of months. Though bringing Liam and Killian along with the award probably had something to do with that, too.)

Emma can just spot the Tony now from where she sits, bookending a cluster of novels on the top shelf of the bookshelf in her and Killian’s apartment. It had been a little bittersweet, leaving her old apartment where she and Henry had both grown and flourished, but she and Killian had both agreed that they would need more space. It’s worth it, anyways, to wake up next to Killian every day in a place that’s theirs. Emma misses living next door to Elsa some days, but now that Henry’s fifteen her supervision isn’t quite so needed anymore anyways. It would have come to an end regardless when Elsa had moved in with Liam in his fancy apartment. Emma instead contents herself with the knowledge that Elsa’s job at the Met - her dream job, really - means she and Liam will be based in New York for the foreseeable future, even if the latter occasionally does have to leave for filming in other locations. Killian likes to joke about his brother and Elsa “living in sin”, like they hadn’t done the same thing, but it does mean they still get to see Liam and Elsa fairly often.

Her real Killian walks back into the living room at that point. “Oh Christ, not this drivel. Emma, I’m embarrassed enough as it is, let’s find something else to watch.” He may gripe and groan, but he still collapses onto the couch beside her, letting out an appreciative and exhausted sigh.

“Oh, I’m watching this, babe,” she replies, smiling over at Killian before burrowing her head into his side. She knows by this point that he’s all bark; he’s a pushover, really, especially where his family is concerned.

She must have missed the introduction of his latest movie project – an interesting project portraying Pan as the villain of Neverland with Killian playing Captain Hook as a misunderstood rogue – because there’s publicity stills up on the screen when she redirects her attention back that way.

“My stepson’s a little upset, really, because he had the idea first,” the Killian on the screen explains. “Which, trust me, was not the reaction I was hoping for.”

“Hey, that was almost funny,” Emma comments, nudging him in the side as the audience laughs.

“It’s embarrassing, is what it is,” Killian grouses. It must be that thing where actors don’t like seeing their own work - Emma’s read about that before. It’s not going to stop her from affectionately picking at him, though, and it’s not going to keep her from watching the whole thing.

“And on a personal note, does everyone remember this moment from last time?” Archie asks, cutting to the clip of Killian talking about a certain prickly and dedicated stage manager. When the camera cuts back, she knows what’s coming, and smiles when she feels Killian press a kiss to her head as the host pulls out a copy of their wedding photo. “Well good news to all those shipping that on the internet, because you two tied the knot!” The audience cheers, and as Emma watches televised Killian grin widely, she thinks that’s the most comfortable she’s ever seen him in an interview. “Now, how long have you two been married now?”

“Coming up on two years, three months from now.”

He’d proposed one evening when Emma had least expected it. They’d talked about marriage before - considering that they were living together and in a committed relationship, having that conversation seemed like the responsible thing to do - but it had been a lovely surprise all the same. Killian had been waiting with the ring when she got home from work on a Wednesday, on bended knee and everything in their little foyer with Henry filming just around the corner. Killian had explained later, after the yes and the ring and an awful lot of kissing, that it had seemed important to make his proposal a family affair and include Henry. He loves her son, just as much as he loves her (albeit in a different way); Emma knows that, but it still means a lot that he’d included her son in their major life moment in that way. Henry had been a part of their love story, after all.

(Emma suspects that there may have been a conversation between Killian and Henry before the proposal as well where Killian had asked her son for her hand, but neither of them has ever fessed up to it, and she’s okay with leaving that as a man-to-man moment if they prefer it.)

The wedding had been a low-key affair, much to Mary Margaret’s dismay - just a little courthouse ceremony. Emma had never been the big white wedding type, though, had never had those dreams as a child. Now that she’s faced with the opportunity for all that, she finds that she doesn’t really want or need it. At the end of the day, they just want to be married; they love each other, almost to distraction, and waiting any longer than absolutely necessary feels like too great a burden.

Still, they’d done it up as much as the quick circumstances allowed. Emma had bought a clearance wedding dress that swished around her calves, and Killian had taken Henry to get a nice suit - his first, the sleeves and legs given extra length to be let out as the growth spurt from hell inevitably continued so they could get more than one use out of the damn thing. They had even arranged for a bouquet and boutonnières, even if Emma doesn’t know anything about flowers. As soon as Liam had arrived back in the city from filming in Atlanta, they had gathered all their friends and family on a dark Monday and made it official.

Henry stood as Best Man. Mary Margaret cried. Ruby wolf-whistled. And Emma had never been happier as Killian dipped her into a dramatic kiss.

“Are you happy, my love?” he’d whispered into her ear later at Granny’s. The older woman had gladly donated her diner for the reception, closing for the occasion so they could all eat cake and dance to jukebox hits.

“What do you think?” she’d quipped right back, before laughing and drawing him down into a kiss. It feels like they’ve come full circle; it feels like home.

(She may still be Emma Swan professionally, but there’s a certain thrill to hearing Mrs. Jones.)

“And one more thing…” Archie continues on the TV, drawing Emma’s attention back to the screen. If possible, televised Killian grins even wider: if what she thinks is about to happen is actually about to happen, she doesn’t blame him in the least. “… You two had a little girl.” The photo on the screen is a sweet one of her little fingers curled around Killian’s thumb. Emma knows it well; it hangs in the nursery, right next to the rocker where Emma’s lately been spending what feels like half her nights.

“We did. She just turned five months old last week.”

“And her name? If you guys are ok to announce it.”

“Hazel Elizabeth Jones.” The audience aws, which the tiny baby propped in her Papa’s arms here in their living room seems to find objectionable as she starts squirming and snuffling. “Emma and I thought it would be appropriate to pay homage to the show where we met.”

They’d had it in mind from the start, ever since they’d found out they were having a girl. There’d been a good bit of debate and waffling back and forth about the first name, but they’d always agreed on Elizabeth for the middle. Hazel hadn’t actually been on the shortlist, just something that’d they’d discussed and put aside, but then she’d arrived - six pounds four ounces, dark hair, loud cry, perfect, and it had just… fit. If there’s one thing Emma’s learned since Killian, it’s not to question a good thing.

Parenting now, 15 years after her first child, is both easier and harder. There’s an exhaustion that comes with age that’s only compounded by caring for an infant. It helps though, more than she can ever describe, to have a partner in this, not to mention a secure housing and financial situation. Killian’s a great dad - to both her children, really - and it’s a particular joy to watch him with their baby.

“You’re okay, lass, you’re okay,” he murmurs now, bouncing their daughter against his chest to attempt to calm her down. It works, thank God; Henry’s been great about all the changes in their lives and is lucky enough to sleep through almost everything, but Emma still doesn’t like taking that chance on a school night.

“Little drama queen,” Emma murmurs affectionately, tweaking a little sock-clad foot. She’d forgotten just how tiny everything about babies is somewhere in the decade and a half between Henry and Hazel, but has loved rediscovering it.

“Maybe she’ll be an actor like Papa one day,” Killian suggests, quirking a teasing eyebrow in Emma’s direction.

She snorts. “Not if Mom has any say in it.”

“What, you don’t think we need more actors in this family?” His tone conveys mock-insult, but Emma can see that twinkle in his eye that means he’s joking.

“Nah, she’s gonna be a techie. I can feel it.”

Emma can faintly hear Archie offerings his congratulations and asking about Killian’s upcoming turn as Harold Hill in a televised performance of The Music Man, but she’s not really paying attention anymore, too preoccupied with this moment with her little family. Maybe that was Killian’s devious plan all along - distract her from his talk show appearance with their very cute baby. She can’t really complain about that.

“Ah, well, I suppose I can’t argue that,” he concedes. “Not when her mother’s so brilliant at it.”

Even after all this time, a compliment from Killian can still make her blush. He knows it, too, which only makes him do it more. She loves that about him, though. Suddenly, it seems very important that she express that very fact.

“I love you, Killian.” She’s said it hundreds, thousands of times before, but it still strikes her with wonder every time, just how much she loves the man sitting next to her.

“I love you too, my Swan,” he replies, placing a careful kiss on her lips while trying not to jostle the baby.

Though Emma knew accepting that stage managing job almost five years ago now would change her life, she never imagined in a million years that she’d end up here, with a husband and baby and her son sleeping just down the hall in a life better than she ever could have fathomed.

She wouldn’t change a thing.

[drewandhardy]

#cluecrewquestionnaire             

1. What is your favorite Nancy Drew game and why? Ghost of Thornton Hall! My Nancy Drew Holy Grail. This game just does everything right. The backstory of the Thornton family is beautiful and terrible and is the backbone of this game. The cast of characters are amazing. Clara, Wade, Harper -- all tragically complex and interesting. I’ll even throw Frat Boy Colton a bone here and say he added something to the story. Harper is straight up modeled after Helena Bohnem Carter in every role ever (though she most closely resembles Bellatrix Lestrange, probably). I absolutely loved hunting through the graveyard and reading old books to find out more about this family, their past, and this bizarre little southern island they live on. (Side note: Do tiny pieces of real estate like this exist off the coast of Georgia? Okay, I have consulted GoogleMaps and it appears they do. Making a note to visit.) The setting is just gorgeous, in the dreary, creepy way you would expect it to be. It reminded me of the abandoned town of Spectre from Big Fish. In fact, the whole thing has an eerie but beautiful Tim Burton-esque vibe to me. You have some amazing spaces to explore, including locked doors and hidden tunnels to boot. Puzzles are on point. Every puzzle in this game is going to help you advance the plot; nothing is sending you on benign errands. This was just seriously an awesome game. It’s the first ND game I’ve played in the Blahunka era, and it really opened a door to some of my other series favorites.

FIN, DDI, SPY, and TRT probably round of my top 5. 

2. Have you played all 32 games in the series? If not, which ones haven’t you played? If yes, which one did you play first? I played MHM first, back in the day. Nothing like a little Abby seance to turn you on to a series. 

Though I’ve been play since I was a wee baby jr. sleuth, I really rediscovered the series about 3 years ago. Still haven’t hit some of the more clunky sounding ones: White Wolf, Venice, Twister, Ransom, Medallion (started it but I can’t get through this gd game). I also still haven’t played DED or ASH but definitely looking forward to those. 

3. What is your favorite line from any character in the series? Because I’m fresh off of SPY, I’m going to say “Be good. Be a little bad.” 

4. If you could change the ending to any game, which one would it be (no spoilers, though)? Less jet packs.

5. Which game is your least favorite, and why? I mean, SCK is obviously not the biggest thrill, but damn I really hated fucking Castle Malloy. I thought I was going to love this concept: An upcoming wedding at a dilapidated castle in Ireland, where the groom suddenly goes missing?! SIGN ME UP, I SAY. But I really ate my words. This game is such a tedious slog to get through. Kyler, the bride in question, sits on her ass reading her damn book while you go on a wild goose chase for her husband. (Wild goose chase is hardly even figurative: there’s a damn chase-sheep-give-them-mohawks puzzle for christ sake.) The puzzles are long, and you frequently have to hunt down several missing pieces before you can even start said puzzles. The ending has to be some of the most bizarro, half-baked writing the Nancy Drew series has ever seen. Not to mention, the final sequence was one of the most infuriating things I’ve ever experienced (and I’m not even certain that this is hyperbole). I blew myself up approximately 35 times before - in a fit of rage - I Googled what nuanced methodology I needed to master in order to simply lift a bottle. 

6. Which character is your favorite? Why? Oy, probably Dagny. But give me dem Hardy Boys any day. Also, Hilda Swenson. And Renate (CAP). And Viv (DOG). I tend to enjoy the old eccentric ladies. 

7. Which character is your least favorite? Why? I’m pretty sure Holt Scotto (DDI) is part of the alt-right, so.

8. How do you feel about the whole Nancy/Ned vs. Nancy/Frank situation? Do you ship her with someone else? Who, and why? Patiently waiting for Nancy and Frank’s love story to arise in MID. 

9. Do you have any fun headcanons about any of the games or characters? DAN is based off of The Devils Wears Prada. 

10. If you could visit any of the locations of the games, which ones would they be and why?

That absolutely wild underworld set in LIE (someone explain why you build an elaborate set UNDER the stage instead of on it...)

Dry Creek (SHA)

Thornton’s bouge island

All the cool Pacific Northwest locations in DDI -- lighthouse, island, whale cave, etc

Wickford Castle

Royal Palladium 

The Train

11. Did you read any of the original Nancy Drew books? If yes, do you like them? If no, would you consider reading one? I have not! But absolutely. Someone recommend the best one to me!

12. What is one thing any good detective can’t live without? Locked shit.

13. Which game had the best soundtrack? I really liked the Irish-y jig music in DDI and HAU. 

14. What is one thing you wish HER would’ve included in any of the games (a conversation, interaction, location, feature, etc.)? I want a decent explanation of what happened in past-Germany in CUR. As in, we know who’s responsible for the monster games in present day, but they sure as shit weren’t alive in the olden days. 

15. Do you have any ideas for a future game? What is it? Maybe a game base around the witch trials or something?

16. How long does it take you to finish a game from start to finish? Depends! Replays I can usually do in a single sitting, but first plays will take me a few days. 

17. Did any of the games scare you? If yes, which ones? If no, why? Hell yeah, MHM scared the shit out of me when I was little. That “I see you” is like straight out of the Chamber of Secrets. Now that I’m an adult, some of my scariest thoughts are routed in my family falling apart. GTH and SAW and SPY definitely get to me in a psychological way. Thanks Blahunka, you twisted human.

18. Why did you join the Nancy Drew fandom here on tumblr? I have no real-life humans to talk these things through with, so thank you for being my internet humans. 

19. What is your favorite Nancy Drew joke (from in-game or even floating around the internet)? In game, it’s gotta be the mom jeans shade from SPY. On the internet, all of the “It’s Locked” puns. 

20. Who is someone in the clue crew you’ve always wanted to get to know? All of ya!

21. What are three unpopular opinions you hold about the games? 1. CUR is overrated. 2. LIE is underrated.  3. Lukas > Jane Penvellyn any damn day. I love playing Monster and hate playing damn “Go Dig.” 

22. Do you have any fun theories about any of the games? I really think that if Blahunka stayed on, we would have gotten a Nancy/Ned break up at some point, and then a Nancy/Frank relationship later on. 

23. Who was your favorite animal character featured in the games? Whale friend from DDI. 

24. Do other people in your life know about your love for Nancy Drew? Yes! I’m constantly trying to get others to play!

25. How long have you been playing these games? Since about 2001. 

26. What’s your favorite in-game backstory/history?

Ballad of Dirk Valentine and Francis Humbert; it’s truly the beating heart of SHA and the greatest love story in the series history. 

The random hilarity of all Jake Hurley’s famous friends in TRN (he’s basically Tahani). Like, they seriously worked the Lincoln Assassination into this shit?? It’s amazing. 

TRT, but more for the Wickford story than for the Marie Antoinette story. (When I played this as a child, I became obsessed with Marie Antoinette as a result of this game. I was too young to realize how ridiculous it is that Marie Antoinette’s tower was mysteriously in Wisconsin. I’m now too old to see through that ridiculously convenient pothole.)

Mickey Malone, his bombass girlfriend Vivienne, and his cool speakeasy. 

Everything about the history of the Thorntons. 

27. What is your favorite cut scene? Oh my god that damn junk shop in CRY. WHY WHY WHY.

[douxreviews]

The Very Best of Supernatural

Supernatural was just renewed for a fifteenth season. Which is insane. Even more disturbing is the fact that I've been reviewing this show for fourteen years, and it just... won't... end. Looking back over my earliest reviews, it's funny that I kept fretting about cancellation. Who knew?

The 300th episode will air this Thursday, February 7. In observance of this major event, six Agents of Doux compiled lists of their favorite Supernatural episodes, and I tallied our choices and made a final top ten. Okay, eleven, because there was a tie in there, but it was really hard to bring it down to eleven, let me tell you. Our list of honorable mentions went from here and out the door.

So here they are. Please note that if you haven't seen all or most of the series, there will inevitably be spoilers. 

11. "A Very Supernatural Christmas" (season 3, episode 8)

Christmas arrives smack dab in the middle of Dean’s last year on Earth, or so we believed at the time. Sam, knowing he will soon be left to carry on after his brother’s death, has no desire to celebrate which is at odds with Dean’s intention to collect as many happy memories as he can before the end.

This marks Supernatural’s first holiday episode with a marriage of gruesomeness, absurdity, and bittersweetness we'd already grown to love – from a blood-soaked Santa dragging a father up the chimney in front of his son, to bridge-playing pagan gods threatening Dean with the swear jar while preparing him and Sam for ritual sacrifice, all ending with the brother’s exchanging heartfelt gifts from a neighborhood Gas Mart as Baby looks on. The pièce de résistance – learning Dean’s amulet was a Christmas gift from a young Sam in unsaid acknowledgment that Dean was often more of a parent to Sam than John was. And no, I’m still not over Dean throwing it away. – Shari

10. "In the Beginning" (season 4, episode 3)

A remarkably funny but ultimately tragic tribute to Back to the Future, Dean is sent back in time by Castiel and interacts with his young parents. He discovers that his mother and grandparents were hunters, and that Mary essentially sold as-yet-unborn Sam's future to the Yellow-Eyed Demon in exchange for John's life.

"In the Beginning" is a perfect example of the attention the Supernatural writers pay to continuity and series mythology, since it explained Mary's actions in the pilot episode on the night that she died. Plus it features, in my opinion, one of the most touching moments in the entire series. It's when young Mary tells Dean, not knowing that he is her son, "You know the worst thing I can think of? The very worst thing? It's for my children to be raised into this, like I was." It choked me up when it first aired. It still does. – Billie Doux

9. "Baby" (season 11, episode 4)

The longevity of this series has allowed the writers to experiment and take chances, which often gives us exceptional episodes. This is one of them.

The Impala is home for the Winchesters, a legacy from their father. That car is not just in nearly every episode; it's also the setting of many of the most important brother scenes in the series. "Baby" gave us an entire episode from the car's point of view. I'm going to crib from my initial review: "This episode was such a love letter to the fans. It was the world of the Winchesters, but not what we usually see on the show. It was what happens in between and around what we usually see." The camera angles, the head in the cooler, the windshield wipers, the valet parking, Castiel on the cell phone, the brothers singing "Night Moves" together, it was different from all the others but a practically perfect episode. – Billie Doux

8. "Fan Fiction" (season 10, episode 5)

Supernatural's 100th episode ("Point of No Return") was good, but arc-plot heavy. Coming in the middle of a very serious storyline, it's dramatic and moves the plot along. But its 200th, "Fan Fiction," is a complete contrast and a sheer joy from start to finish. An episode centred around a girls' school putting on a musical they wrote themselves, based on the first five years of Supernatural, sounds like a terrible idea. And yet, writer Robbie Thompson makes it work. The episode also features great performances from the young actresses, but it's the numerous call backs in jokes and the way the episode revisits old favourites with a twist that make it one of the show's most re-watchable episodes. – Juliette

7. "Swan Song" (season 5, episode 22)

Endings are hard, as Chuck would say. You have to balance expectation with payoff, death and survival and a resolution that feels satisfying. For Supernatural, this was supposed to be it, the show's literal swan song, as planned out by Kripke. It was sad and painful. If this had been the ending, it would’ve left us with Dean trying to live on after losing his brother to spend eternity with the Devil in hell, and that’s pretty brutal. Of course, framing the story around Baby, and making the car one of the most important things in the universe, was perfect. The only reason we didn’t end with Sam in the box is because of season renewal, leaving us with more questions than answers. Including what happened to Chuck. – J.D. Balthazar

6. “Dark Side of the Moon” (season 5, episode 16)

This episode has always been a huge favorite of mine. The opening scene where Dean and younger Sam set off fireworks to "Knock Knock Knocking on Heaven's Door" was so gorgeous that it gave me goosebumps.

How many shows would dare to send their two main characters to Heaven? And show that Heaven as somewhat creepy? What I found poignant was that the brothers' choice of happy memories mostly don't include each other. I've often thought that a perfect end to the series would be the two of them in a Heaven that finally included each other, with everything that ever divided them fully resolved. – Billie Doux

5. "Wishful Thinking" (season 4, episode 8)

Absolutely one of their best comical episodes, from the "deep woods Duchovny" line to the suicidal teddy bear. Although, of course, what makes funny Supernatural episodes work is that there is always an element of underlying seriousness or tragedy. Here, it was the acknowledgement that using magic to make someone love you is evil. This was also the episode where Dean told Sam the truth about his experiences in Hell. – Billie Doux

4. "Don't Call Me Shurley" (season 11, episode 20)

Supernatural has a warm heart and it's often hilarious, but it's not often happy. Usually, the joy of watching Supernatural comes at least partly from knowing that whatever's going on in your own life, Sam and Dean surely have it worse. But "Don't Call Me Shurley" is different. The ending of "Don't Call Me Shurley" is miraculous – and we mean that literally. The rest of the episode is a delight anyway, offering a witty back and forth between God and His Voice – and finally confirming what "Swan Song" had only suggested. But that ending, when, temporarily at least, we get a real miracle and a moment of salvation, is what makes this episode really special – eleven years of storytelling reaching a thrilling moment of clarity. – Juliette

3. "The Monster at the End of This Book" (season 4, episode 18)

Oh, how I love this one. "Monster" is the introduction to the meta episodes where the Winchesters discover that they are main characters in a series of novels called "Supernatural," written by hack writer Chuck Shurley. As I said in my write-up of "Baby," it's taking radical chances with the narrative while continuing to stick closely to the show's mythology that makes Supernatural special.

And wow, this episode is special. Clever and funny and full of geeky in-jokes (especially the boys' disgusted discovery of the existence of Winchester slash), there is also that foundation of tragedy that makes it all work. The brothers cannot escape their fate. It's in the Winchester Gospels. – Billie Doux

2. "Changing Channels" (season 5, episode 8)

Take a beloved character, mix in playful jabs at some of the most popular TV shows while both expanding the narrative and laying the fate of the world on the interpersonal relationship of our favorite brothers. No wonder it’s one of the show’s creator, Eric Kripke’s favorite episodes. We discover the Trickster we’ve grown to know and love is none other than the Archangel Gabriel, little brother to Michael and Lucifer. Now that the Winchester’s have given Michael and Luci the Earth on which to wage their civil war, Gabriel is eager to see it end no matter the cost.

This doesn’t mean he can’t have fun doing it. Between the sitcom Supernatural’s opening credits, Dean fangirling over Dr. Sexy, Sam and the literal nutcracker, and the meta nod to Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s portrayal of a ghost on certain Seattle based medical show that shall remain nameless, we are treated to a host of laugh out loud moments. My personal favorite was Sam’s less than ecstatic performance in a genital herpes commercial. – Shari

"Nutcracker!!!!"

1. "Mystery Spot" (season 3, episode 11)

There’s something both twisted and poignant about watching Dean die again and again. Funny in a macabre way, for sure but also a touch tragic because in the Supernatural verse, those deaths were real. Well, real in that each was recorded, and each time he went to heaven briefly. No wonder Death finds Dean fascinating and frustrating.

Of course, it was really Sam’s episode, dealing with the pain of watching his brother die again and again, and the numbness that came with it was palpable. To this day, in season fourteen this episode has been referenced. Pretty good impact for a generally comedic episode. – J.D. Balthazar

Conclusion (by Billie Doux)

Putting this list together made me want to rewatch the entire series, although with so many seasons, that's turned into a major commitment. You know, we could probably put together lists of our top ten best comic episodes, the ten most tragic, ten scariest, ten best angel episodes, ten best ghost episodes, and so on because with so many seasons, there's so much to choose from.

It's interesting that the Groundhog Day episode "Mystery Spot" turned out to be our number one, simply because most of us put it on our list. Is it yours? Is your favorite even on this list? Post it in the comments!

Billie Doux has been reviewing Supernatural for so long that Dean and Sam Winchester feel like old friends. Courageous, adventurous, gorgeous old friends.

[choate88sivertsen-blog]

Secret Benefits Of Utilizing A Lift Table.

Serena Styles is a Colorado-based writer that specializes in food, health and wellness as well as fitness. In addition to a month-to-month charge, health clubs normally bill an extra initiation charge. To take control of a health club you need to lower its stature to absolutely no by defeating its inhabitants. A nice idea, however in method - at the very least when I tried it years ago - equally as you come to organize a lift you begin bothering with the opportunity that your potential participant will certainly be a mass killer or something. Some gyms currently use workout machines that will remind you of your most recent lifting weight when you get in a personalized code. With a soft frown Diona thought of just exactly how rich the Dranias' were, awkward with the degree of riches she was seeing. Require time to discover the benefits and drawbacks of every type of Interlocking Rubber Flooring ceramic tiles as well as the outcome would certainly be a terrific house gym floor. However I also understand that the process is more vital compared to the objective I'm mosting likely to enjoy this one, yet I'll be back in the gym on Monday. Fitness centers have made a company out of taking apart olden activities, rebuilding them, injecting fancy packaging and providing them to consumers in a quite studio. As the gifted designers who sent their job to our good friends at show, having the in-home fitness center of your desires isn't really just hassle-free - it's actually practical. The Overall Fitness center 1000 measures 88 inches long by 16 1/8 inches large by 44 inches high when released for usage. One point that all of these home health clubs have in common is that the customer needs to acquire the weights independently. Though it is true that a person system of power could be a minimal wickedness than an additional, I confess, every system of power (i.e. government) is destructive to autonomy, that is, the will as well as need of the people, a living expression of the passion of the residents. As the Blue Ranger, Tori depends on the power of water to combat evil doers, and also pilots the Dolphin Zord. A lift is an enclosed secure space, like a womb, with a little chance that something can go terribly incorrect and eliminate you, likewise like a womb I mean. https://studiosante.de/purodone/ integrated quite possibly, yet I have never check out a book by David Baldacci, nor have I seen the movie based upon this publication. He was a fan of the Power Rangers prior to turning into one, however his friends dismissed the famous extremely heroes as an urban myth. I likewise delighted in the simple design and also the clear descriptions of loads of exercises you can do to enhance your body without equipment. Both Kimberly as well as Zack silently nodded, completely delighting in the thrill of pure power via their systems. Barinthus turned up behind me. I understood without seeing that he reached for me-I can feel him relocating through the power at my back. Its largest shareholders are Kite Power Service's chief executive, Costs Hampton, as well as chief operating policeman, John Hardy. Because it is thankfulness that keeps you linked with power, you could not exercise much power without gratefulness. After speaking with Lagman about his viewpoint of Awaken, I was excited to find a location that integrated restorative motions right into stamina training and was ready to see simply exactly how corroded my gymnastics skills were. Creating has the power to inspire, to show, to captivate, to lead, as well as to attach-- and it can do those things long after words have trembled off my hands and also into the key-board. Homeowner ought to have their very own plans for lift failures, inning accordance with the fire service, which will certainly charge customers ₤ 362 for participation in the future - with an added fee of ₤ 90 for every 15 minutes after the initial hour. What rate of interests me more is exactly how in each story human life is positioned relative to legislation and political power. The oppositions could not wonder about whether the Clean Air Act authorizes EPA to limit co2 air pollution from power plants. The emphasis of his book is the impact power carries those who don't have it. He breaks his analysis down right into three measurements of power: the first is straight bargaining as well as engagement, the second is the exemption of the powerless from that bargaining procedure and/or agenda-setting by the powerful, and also the third is the internalization of the perfects, worths, and also choices of the leading by the dominated. Rather counter-intuitively, the faster detachable quad lift has the exact same uphill ability as a fixed-grip quad. You rest, lie or stoop on a cushioned glideboard mounted on the slope rails, then regulate the glideboard's activity on the rails by pushing or pulling on the wing or leg pulley attachments that came with the Overall Health club. Not just these health clubs as well as camps give acupuncture solutions yet additionally assessments connected to the exact same. When the shore's clear, I mobilize the power of the Wind Ninja, and streak through the city and also into the timbers in a heartbeat. A la maison, dans la cour de récré, en faisant la queue à la boulangerie ... il suffit de repérer les Power Tattoos pour trouver kid prochain adversaire! Despite a max degree of 9999, utilize Transmigration to start throughout once more, yet your characters will be also stronger per degree! Over all it's a wonderful fitness center and so numerous makers that you could always find one to workout on and also Nikko that handles the Pro Store constantly has a fantastic selection of appearal to selected from. If you're a huge sweatshirt (you recognize who you are ...) then its an outright requirement to bring a towel with you and clean down the devices when you're done. And for annual participants, see if your health club is just one of the numerous huge chains that will certainly let you put your membership on hold, inning accordance with Instead, dress and head outside, or pop in that new health and fitness DVD and also exercise in your living room. A thoughtful expert of these methods will not be misinformed by the thrill of the experience of power down the path of self-gratification and also misuse, yet will choose rather to take pleasure in the further delights of making a lasting difference in the world. The person having loss of power must take herbal oil massage therapy to get strong erection as it aids to boost circulation of blood to the body organ to regain power and period normally. Power companies routinely shift generation amongst plants and between business to efficiently provide the power required, as well as to meet contamination control needs cost-effectively. Pure Gym says its company model is based upon providing members economical costs without tying them right into repaired term contracts, with health clubs accessible at any time of night and day. However, his and also various other scientists' searchings for recommend that it is the helpless, not the effective, who will be most receptive to that message (people reduced in power report feeling compassion for others much more frequently). The Total Gym 1000 consists of a bottom external rail as well as an upright column, attached by 2 identical rails. I would claim this publication is except everyone because everybody does not have the skill or drive it would take to maintain power. However motion pictures hardly ever showcase the things I despise most about lifts: terrible elevator Muzak (never ever a cool Miles Davis soundtrack, like the one in Lift to the Scaffold) or the way that, when you're in a rush, a person has pressed all the switches so the damn thing stops at every flooring. In addition to giving an indoor gym that is comfortable for plus-size women, Body Exchange offers various bootcamp and also off-site workout resorts. Making roads safer would have a much bigger impact on our cumulative health and wellness than building more health clubs. A leg drive is where you push against the ground to generate force to raise a resistance. Bel pertained to me with an old buddy of mine, among the friends who surrendered on me. He gently slipped his arms around me and also lifted me from the dirty fitness center floor. There ready reasons to be cynical of the notion that a win for Clinton will introduce a feminist utopia-or even just greater political power for females. The power relocated exterior from me, or possibly I moved on through something that was always there, however tonight I can sense it. Siobhan moved forward, and the power did not load her. As well as it forecasted that kite power would certainly cost so little that developing nations would have the ability to use it to discourage themselves off contaminating diesel generators and other carbon-heavy energy resources. If you desire straightforward workout devices as opposed to a way of life concept, check neighborhood authority facilities.

[harryimaginedstories]

okay with less

Hey friends! As you know I’m absolutely shitty with keeping up with requests and writing them quickly, but I do give my best.  This story is based on requests: H’s girlfriend who’s in college is a bit insecure about not having the same wealth he enjoys and when his friend jokes about her being too young as well, things get a little messy.  Also, it’s a bit christmasy. :)

Picture isn’t mine. x 

The list of things I still needed to get in time for christmas was endless while the weight of my wallet got lighter with every store I entered. A heavy sigh fell from my lips and I watched with envy how people rushed past me, determination written over their faces and bags filled with goods in their grasps. No worries in their minds, except perhaps whether or not there were enough table decorations left to buy or if their relatives would arrive on time this once or whether or not the candles would burn bright and long enough.  All troubles I didn’t have. My little flat I could only pay rent for by working every day after school in a small cafe, which admittedly didn’t pay too well, and through the generous support provided by my family, was decorated with fairy lights, but no christmas tree, no ornaments and no presents. Those were luxuries I couldn’t afford, which was okay. Harry had kindly invited me to spend christmas with him and his family in their home, meaning my flat didn’t have to be pretty and perfect for anyone, me included. Complaining would be pointless and I counted myself lucky that I could live in my favorite city, study and get a good education and that my boyfriend was understanding and respectful when I couldn’t keep up with his lifestyle all of the time. I supposed that was the only aspect of being a student in an expensive place like London, I didn’t like: Having to tell Harry no when he asked me to accompany him to an expensive business dinner, saying no when he asked me to join him and his friends on a holiday and either declining his invitations to events or attending only to then the next day read about how I’d been the ‘worst dressed’ and the ‘cheapest looking’ there. 

“You know I could help you out,” Harry had offered more than once, be it about more decorations and presents for christmas like he had only yesterday, dresses he knew I liked but couldn’t afford, or books I needed for school as well as the rent of my flat. Of course I couldn’t and most definitely wouldn’t let him do that for me. I was his partner, not someone who’d take advantage of his hard worked for and well deserved money, which I knew he appreciated but the faint sparkle of disappointment when I sent him off somewhere fun without me, didn’t go unnoticed. It was the same sadness I felt, too.

I glanced at the bag in my hand, filled to the brim with everything Harry and I would need for the christmas biscuit baking marathon we’d decided to do tonight and my heart jumped with excitement. There were tiny silvern eatable stars and I’d thrown in a few food colourings as well, happy to finally try the funny looking biscuits I’d seen on tumblr. Upon stepping out into the cold air of a cloudy day, I stepped aside and against the building to keep out of the way of the people rushing to get past me, and pulled out my phone to check for any messages, especially from Harry. There were a couple. 

From H, 16:07 Got us some cookie cutters! Even a reindeer!! I’m excited. Love you. x

From H, 16:45 I fucked up. John and Jake just called saying that we’d agreed to hang out tonight ages ago and I totally forgot. I know what you’re going to say and no I couldn’t just bail on them. Not bailing on you either. Promised you this and won’t let you make me go and postpone us. Not gonna happen. You think it’ll be okay for them to come over tonight as well? We can still bake, it’d just be them there, too. Compromise? Again, I’m sorry. x

From H, 16:47 Don’t be disappointed please. I love you. Think of the reindeer cutter I got us! x Well great, I thought and bit my bottom lip harshly. I quite liked Jake, and John was okay as well, but I wasn’t thrilled to have them crash what was meant to be a quiet night in with my boyfriend. We hadn’t had one of those in a while and truth to be told, I missed him. Just when I was about to text something back, his picture flashed over the screen of my phone. 

“Hey,” I answered his call, “I just got your texts.”

“M’really sorry,” Harry muttered and I could hear the disappointment I felt mirrored in his voice, “A shit boyfriend as well as a shit pal is what I am. Got every right to be mad at me, love.”

“I’m not mad,” I assured with a shrug he couldn’t see and turned to slowly walk down the street towards the busstop I wanted to take, “It’s not ideal and I could do without them being there, but as long as you promise to bake at least one tray of biscuits with me before leaving to go out with them, I think I’ll be okay.”

“M’not going out with them at all,” Harry protested, though I heard a faint smile in his voice at the reassurance that I wasn’t angry, “M’gonna bake with you and we’ll have our nice little night in like we wanted to.” 

“Except with your friends there, too.” 

He sighed. “Yeah.”

“Romantic,” I giggled, but told him once more that it really was okay and that I loved him still, earning me a soft laugh and sigh of relief.

.....

Harry’s flat was much larger than mine and had a grand kitchen and huge oven, one I preheated when Harry finished our dough he insisted on making alone, since he never failed to remind me of his experience in the baking field. 

“Done,” he called, a confident and proud grin on his face, “S’gonna be delicious, love. Old recipe that sold itself very well where I used to work.”

“You should know, cashier,” I laughed and he was just about to flip me off when the door to his home opened and two sets of heavy footsteps barged in.

“Oi! Harry!”

He shot me a glance before walking out of the kitchen and towards his two mates. I heard him welcome them and the patting noise of men clapping each other on the back. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

“S’the lady here, too?” Jake asked before turning around the corner and stepping into the kitchen to greet me. 

“Hey,” I replied and stepped into his arms for a brief hug. 

“Lady, you say?” John laughed from the door and entered as well, Harry right behind him, “She’s a little girl, if that.”

“Hello to you, too, John,” I greeted him, all warmth gone from my voice. 

He nodded into my direction, then he smirked. “Nice little flat, isn’t it? No wonder you like it here. Tell me, where exactly is that box you live in?”

I sighed. “My flat is just fine, thank you very much.”

John shrugged. “M’not saying it isn’t. Just surprised you’re not taking more advantage of the boyfriend you’ve got. I would if I had as little as you do.”

“Oh, shut up,” Harry shrugged the comment off, giving me a warm smile.

He stepped around his friends and came to stand by the counter again, where he pulled out the cutters from a plastic bag and placed them on the top next to our dough and suddenly the atmosphere in the room changed completely, his charm and warmth calming me instantly. I grinned, happy that he wasn’t all of a sudden ‘too cool’ to help me and not in full ‘lad’ mode.

“Oh, biscuits!” Jake fake cheered, voice high pitched and a wide grin on his face, before turning to me, “Are we required to help or can we just stick around and eat them once they’re done.”

“The latter,” I replied, before picking out the cutters I wanted to use first while Harry rolled out the dough until it was about two millimeters thin. 

He flashed me a smile when he saw me pick out the reindeer cutter and I blew him a kiss. 

“Perfect!” Jake laughed, pulled out one of the bar stools to opposite of us so he could chat with Harry and John while we continued to bake.

It was nice. Harry joked around with his friends while occasionally bumping his hip to mine where I stood by his side and slowly the metal tray filled with little reindeer, moon, star, heart, bunny and owl shaped biscuits. Harry helped me paint them with different food colourings and enjoyed creating little faces on the dough animals. The kitchen filled with the christmas songs the radio had been playing on a loop for weeks now and I enjoyed how, although our change in plans, so far the afternoon was great regardless. Jake joked about how rubbish my owl looked and I batted his hand away when he tried to steal one of the smaller biscuits to nibble on the sweet, uncooked dough. 

“Harry! Your friend’s being a child!” I whined with a laugh and Jake stuck out his tongue at me to emphasize my words. 

Harry chuckled and was about to reply when John interrupted him.

“If anything you’re the child,” John shrugged, sending me a mean grin, “Even have to ask Daddy to help you? Aw, how cute.”

“Sod off,” I joked, hiding the small sting his words inflicted in my chest. 

That was exactly why I didn’t like John too much and hadn’t made an effort to get to know him well. He never failed to mention that I was younger than him, Harry and anybody of their friendship group. Not by far, only a couple of years, but for whatever reason he found it amusing enough to pick on me constantly.  

“Oi!” John continued to taunt me, leaning further over the counter so his face got closer to mine, “What foul words coming form your mouth, kid. Don’t they teach you how to speak to adults in school?”

“We’re too busy studying and preparing for our finals to be belittled like that,” I countered, a faint quiver in my voice only Harry noticed. 

“She’s a smart one,” Harry said in and I smiled when his lips pressed to the crown of my head. I let myself lean into his side momentarily and a flour covered hand squeezed my side so his friends couldn’t see.  I’d confessed to Harry how the comments of his friend annoyed me when last time he’d been around he’d claimed I was too young to drink and had spent the entire evening ripping alcoholic drinks from my hand and taking the piss when I’d asked him to stop doing so.

“M’not saying she isn’t clever,” John agreed, shooting Harry a wink, “And s’great you’re proud of her. S’just that lots of kids are smart in kindergarden. Doesn’t make her Einstein, H. Just you wait what she’s like once she’s hit puberty.”

A harsh wave of tears crashed through me and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep them at bay and not let the embarrassment I felt show. I was proud of my education, proud of how hard I worked and my heart fell even lower at the thought of John learning about my part time job, certain he’d call the cafe and ask them if they thought employing a child was legal. I lowered my gaze to the colourful goods in front of us and suddenly, even though I knew he wasn’t, it felt like John was right.  I’d made my boyfriend stay in with me, in a flat that was his because mine was too simple and not good enough, made him feel like he needed to help me out with money, made him bake colourful foods with me that looked like a toddler had made them and I couldn’t even find the words to stand up for myself against his stupid friend.   I felt small, as if John’s words had managed to shrink me to the size of the baby he saw me as. 

Harry noticed the sudden tension in my body, heard my breathing hitch and recognized the flush on my cheeks as the one I got whenever I was close to crying.

“He makes me feel small,” he remembered me telling him that night when I’d recalled all of John’s mean comments about me, “Like he’s superior to me and I know that’s silly but it really got to me tonight, Harry.”

Seemed like it was getting to me today as well and he didn’t blame me. Harry could practically see the excuse to leave the room and escape the situation forming on my tongue. The hand he’d used to cut his reindeer biscuits with settled on my arm and he pulled me further into his body until I was pressed against his waist. 

“If you’re just here to make fun of my girlfriend I’m asking you to leave right now.”

John chuckled and made a point at rolling his eyes. “Oh, c’mon! A little humor, Harry, please.”

“No,” he shook his head and when I looked up he wore a serious expression and I noticed the sparkle of anger in his orbs. His grip around me tightened reassuringly.  ”H,” Jake began in attempt to soothe him, but Harry continued. “She’s ten times as smart as you are, she’s mature, she’s not as young as you constantly make her out to be and she isn’t somebody you can walk over like that. Specially not in front of me, m’not having that. So I suggest before you make another shitty comment like the arse you are, you go use the door over there and fuck off.”

The faint melody of sia’s song ‘puppies are forever’ filled the room, a strange contrast to the tense atmosphere created by John’s red face and Harry’s steaming head.  I jumped when John smashed his beer on the counter harshly and for a moment I feared he’d broken the glass. My body shifted behind Harry’s and with shaking fingers I took hold of Harry’s shirt.

“Fine!” John barked, pushed back his stool and got to his feet, “M’sick of her innocent act and your absolute nonexistent sense of humor. You can go fuck yourselves, all of you.” 

“I didn’t do anything,” Jake muttered and his eyes searched my face for a small smile he hoped his words would bring. 

When he noticed my mouth quirk up he grinned at me and rolled his eyes and John.  “Just ignore him, honey,” he murmured to me while Harry stepped around the counter to see John out, who looked angry enough I feared he’d demolish Harry’s living room. I shuddered with fear and Jake reached out to rub my arm soothingly. There was more yelling to be heard, then the heavy wooden door fell into its lock. 

“The prick’s gone,” Harry came back to say and my heart fluttered with relief. 

“I’m sorry, Harry,” I apologized, “I know he’s your friend and-”

“He’s a dick,” Jake interrupted, “To you, at least. He’s alright with us. But that’s enough for him to have no place here, Y/N.”

“Absolutely,” Harry agreed, coming back to stand beside me and I sighed when his mouth pressed to my cheek, “Won’t have somebody disrespect you, love.”

His arms wrapped around me in an embrace and I breathed in the scent of his neck. Finally my heart slowed down and my stomach unknotted, the tension slowly fading from my shoulders when my arms wrapped around his broader ones. Hands rubbed my back soothingly and my eyes fell shut when his nose rubbed against my jaw.

“I’ve got your back,” he whispered into my ear so only I could hear and I nodded with a sigh, melting in his hold.

“M’still welcome, aren’t I?” Jake asked from beside us and we pulled apart. Harry laughed. “Sure. S’long as you’re nice.”

“Always,” Jake chuckled and I snickered, too, “At least until those biscuits are done.”

“You’re only getting the ugly ones, then,” I threatened and Harry’s heart warmed when he noticed how steady my voice was and how there was no trace of my tears anymore. 

The rest of the afternoon was much calmer and Jake stayed around until it was pitch black outside. We chatted about this and that, for example my job and how school was going, (I involved myself much more into their conversations now that John was gone), ate our delicious biscuits, and when it was time for him to head home as well, he hugged me tightly and reassured me once more that John wouldn’t be a problem anymore. 

I followed Harry back into his kitchen and tried to help him clean up, but he quickly shook his head and ordered me to sit down and let him do it. 

“I don’t mind, love,” he smiled, set down a cup of steaming tea in front of me and began to tidy up the mess we’d made over the past few hours.

I watched him for a while in silence, finding amusement in how domestic the superstar and phenomenon Harry Styles looked, before sighing and clearing my throat. 

“Today shouldn’t have been like it was,” I told him quietly, observing his expression closely, “And I’m really sorry, Harry.”

“No reason to be, sweetheart,” Harry said, absent minded as he made room in his cupboard for the box of biscuits we’d filled. 

I took a sip of the tea he’d made me and shook my head.

“Every reason to be,” I disagreed quietly, “John is your friend and I messes everything up now.”

“If anything, I messed everything up. M’the one who kicked him out, aren’t I?”

“Yes, but because of me.”

Harry shrugged and finally turned to look at me, a kind smile on his lovely face. He, too, grabbed himself a cup of tea and pulled out a chair to sit opposite of me. For a moment he stayed silent, eyes on my hands, then on the few colourful biscuits I’d laid out on a small plate to nibble on before finding my face.

“Y/N, you’re my priority.”

I winced with emotion and reached out to hold his warm hand. 

“And I saw how upset his words made you,” he continued gently, while his thumb brushed against the back of my hand, “Saw you were about to cry.”

A frown knotted his brows together and I squeezed his palm to calm him. “That’s... not okay, love. Not ever and it hurts me as well.”

I nodded, throat closing around a lump. The raw emotion in his eyes, the clear trace of rage at the thought of his friend’s comments towards me, made my heartbeat increase. Harry coughed and interlaced our fingers together.

“If someone’s a dick to you then they have no place here, don’t care if I considered them a friend before. I love you and someone who dares to make you upset is not somebody I want in either of our lives. Definitely not. And you got nothing to feel bad about, that I can promise you, Y/N. M’not gonna miss him or anything.”

I raised his hand and pulled it closer to me, leaned in and his eyes closed when my mouth pressed to his wrist in a soft kiss. “Thank you, Harry. For being there for me. And for being okay with me having less, money as well as years on my back.”

“Of course” he assured, then grinned and sent me a cheeky wink, “You know what was funny though? John implying you calling me Daddy.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course you think that’s funny.”

“We could give that a try.”

“Dream on, Harry,” I giggled, only half as opposed to it as I pretended to be, “Dream on.”

 Hope you enjoyed this story! I quite like it. :) Let me know what you thought. x

Also: Masterlist

And: Christmas Harry

[ladyteacups]

Holding Out For a Hero

Gif Not Mine

Warnings: very little cussing, angsty!

A/N: I actually love this so damn much I am dying to write part two, but only if it’s well liked

Summary: Soulmate AU with Thor. Not much else to say without giving it all away. Based on “Holding out for a hero” by bonnie tyler. Listen here.

Y/N knew who her soulmate was. In theory. She knew everything but his name. She didn’t care his name, so long as she got what she wanted. And she would, she could feel it in her bones. The crack of electricity that told her, he was near, hit her all the time in the city.

This soulmates thing didn’t come easy. There was no way to know you were right, save for a gut feeling. Y/N asked her mother one day how she would know. Her mother smiled like she had expected this question and knew just what to say. “You’ll know when the world stops turning, and the tides freeze over, and lightening hits you. You’ll know when he kisses you and you want to melt away and be closer all at the same time. You’ll know when your heart tells you it feels right.”

Although her heart had told her ‘this feels right’ before. It sure felt right when Jesse Rossen took her to the movies and they held hands at 14, or when at 16 she made out with Tiffany Perry in the back of her brothers car. She was sure both times they were her soulmates. But each time she was proved wrong when the feelings faded. Tiffany was the worst. She broke her heart when she found her real soulmate after three years together. Y/N felt crushed. She was sure her own soulmate could feel her hurt through their bond.

The bond soulmates shared was really a special thing. At least that’s what her father would tell her. Your soulmate could feel your emotions or even pain if it’s strong enough. There are stories of mates being so well matched and bonded that they can even bond their minds. It was rare, and there had only ever been one account of it happening, in a children’s tale, meant to ease their minds about mates.

Y/N felt a chill up her spine. The kind she only got from the bond while seeing a city destroyed to save the world. She felt scared seeing the havoc, yet through her bond she felt strength and a thrill for the fight. The chill wasn’t from being scared, it was from the bond. It was her soulmate gearing up to battle. This is how Y/N knew who he was. She would turn down any man who didn’t show signs of heroism.

“He’s gotta be strong, he’s gotta be sure, and he’s gotta be larger than life.” Y/N got that dazed look in her eyes whenever she talked about her soulmate. Her best friend Cherry smiled and looked away from the news. “That’s a lot for one man to be.” She sipped her beer. “It must be a woman.” Cherry grinned like a wolf and pinched Y/N’s leg. Y/N jumped back in her seat, and swatted at her hand. “No I can tell. I can feel the need to rush in without a plan, and that’s no woman.” Cherry gripped her arm, “have you ever thought,” she trailed off but pointed to the T.V.

Y/N was thoughtful for a moment. Of course she never thought she would be mated to an avenger. She only laughed and shook her head as she watched the fight. “He’s probably an underground MMA fighter, who gets his kicks running from the law.” Cherry smiled in amusement. “Maybe he’s a rodeo cowboy.” Y/N bit her lip to stop the smile. “Hey, I love southern accents.” She nudged her friend with an elbow. “Well there you go! We’ll just fly down to Texas, you’ll get hitched and can double with me and Noah.” The look on her face made Y/N laugh. “C’mon let’s get out of here.”

They gathered their bags and Y/N felt a great surge of love through her bond. She looked up at the news. The fighting was over and they had caught Thor stealing a kiss from his scientist girlfriend. Quickly she looked away. Their PDA made her uncomfortable.

It had been a week since the battle. Y/N still hadn’t found her soulmate but she felt him near. She felt electricity in her palms almost daily, the waves crashing was ringing in her ears, and the moon looked bigger, even hypnotizing. Her blood felt like it was on fire one day while at a little café near her home. She knew it was him. No, she wasn’t ready! She wasn’t presentable; she didn’t know what to say! Then it faded until it was a faint glow, than nothing. He walked right past her! He must have known she was here, he must have felt it too! She focused on the bond. She needed to feel what he feels and she needed to know now. She felt nothing. They hadn’t built their bond enough yet. She felt so disappointed. So much for hero.

Y/N wanted to chase after him, but she didn’t. He doesn’t want her, that was obvious with how he left her there. Her favorite café should have been the place they take their children and tell them how mommy and daddy met. They should have shared a milkshake and childhood stories, instead she was walking home alone. Y/N just couldn’t handle this. She knew she was a strong woman but this was a whole lot to take. She wished she could turn this bond off, she didn’t want him to feel her hurt.

She was out again for the first time in a week. Cherry was dragging Y/N to the dance floor while Noah sat back and watched their table. Y/N couldn’t help blurting out while they danced, “I felt him today.” Cherry’s eyes went wide and she stopped dancing to grab Y/N’s hands “He didn’t want me Cher.” Y/N felt her eyes go damp and her breathing hitch. Cherry glanced around before dragging her back to the table.

“It’s ok sweetheart, just… what happened?” Concern was written all over Cherry’s face and Noah sat back a little unsure of what to do before deciding to hold Y/N’s hand. Cherry rubbed Y/N’s thigh while she let out a few tears. “I waited for so long,” Y/N sobbed out “Honey just tell us what happened.” Cherry knew just how to comfort her but right now she just needed to work her past the tears.

Y/N wept quietly in their dark corner before she spoke. “I was in the café and I felt it. It was amazing, just like my mom said. The world stopped. It was amazing.” She whispered. “Then it was just gone. He walked away, he didn’t want me.” Y/N bit her lip to stop her crying. “He was supposed to be my hero, strong and sure, but he’s a coward.”

Cherry had never seen her best friend talk this way about her soulmate. No matter what shame she felt from him it was always justified somehow. Y/N grabbed the arms of the two people she was with. “He’s here.” She whimpered. “I can feel it, he’s watching me.” Y/N couldn’t look away from the table. She didn’t want to see her soulmate, she was mad at him. “Go find him, confront him!” Both Cherry and Noah were nudging her on, but she stayed put. “He’s the strong one. The one who’s so sure. He obviously knows who and where I am. I can wait.” Noah rolled her eyes. “You two are already fighting like an old married couple. Get your ass up and go tell him off.”

Y/N crossed her arms stubbornly. She huffed out an angry breath and whipped her eyes on a napkin. “Fine but I won’t be happy about it.” Y/N stood from the table and walked to the dance floor. The electricity in her bones felt so strong she felt like she was on cloud nine. She tried so hard to stay angry but the feelings he was giving her was making it so difficult. She trudged on, looking for her one. She neared the door, the heat in her stomach was fading and she knew he was leaving her again. Y/N couldn’t let him. Her fingertips tingled with adrenaline and anxiety. She rushed out the door into the pouring rain.

The streets were empty save for one man with his back to her, walking away. Y/N shouted for him to wait. She knew it was him; she felt the chill that told her he was ready for this battle. She gave up on telling him off, she was prepared to be the girl standing in front of the boy, but something felt off.

Y/N’s soulmate stopped and turned around. The darkness hid his face under a hood but she could see his tall, well-built form. Lightening cracked behind him and she was sure it was God trying to intimidate her. Instead she walked forward a few steps. “You left me. I know it was you. I felt it, but you left.” She mentally high fived herself.

He wanted to smile at the surge of self-confidence he felt through their bond, but he could taste the hint of fear. Fear that he would reject her to her face. “I know you, you’re not one to be scared. In fact you rush in, you’re brash, and-.” She looked down at her soaked dress and limp hair. God she must look an absolute mess. “You’re a warrior.” She looked back at his face. She still couldn’t see him, but she wasn’t going to look away. “So why did you run away?”

The man stepped forward. Slowly he came to a stop in front of her and she watched as his features manifested. A quiet gasp escaped her lips. “You?” Thor said nothing, just shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around the small frame of his soulmate. He tried to ignore the way his heart hummed at the sight of her in his clothes. She looked so magnificent. “I can’t do this. You can’t be my soulmate, I already have Jane.”

“Jane.” She said her name, testing it out on her tongue. It tasted like venom and yet she couldn’t hate the girl, it wasn’t her fault. “She means a lot to you?” Thor nodded quickly. “She’s great,” he said, but he didn’t believe it. Not anymore, not with his real soulmate standing right in front of him. Y/N stepped even closer, nearly touching. “You love her?” Thor’s heart ached at when her voice cracked. He was hurting her in his attempt to not hurt Jane. “Yes.”

She reached out cautiously and held his cheek. Thor couldn’t help nuzzling into her hand. The warmth he felt was so beautiful to him. All it did was break Y/N a little more. Her cuddly giant saying he didn’t want her, that he loved someone else. “Then you go to Jane, but understand this,” she brought her hand away, and though it killed her stepped back. “If you leave me again, I will not have you back. I expected a warrior, who wanted what was his, but if that is not you, leave and don’t come back. I will accept no less than a hero.” Thor reached for her hand but she pulled back even more. “It’s Jane or it’s your soulmate.” She clenched her fist. “Choose Thor, or I will choose for you.” Y/N took a deep breath and turned away from him. With each step her heart ripped further and further out of her chest. If she thought Jesse and Tiffany knew how to break hearts she now thought those were kitten scratches.

[fussingoverfassbender]

An old interview from 2011 about Jane Eyre

BY EDWARD DOUGLAS ON MARCH 4, 2011

Actor Michael Fassbender may have first found his way onto filmgoers’ radars as Lt. Archie Hicox in Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds (or Zack Snyder’s 300if you were paying attention), but before then, he had already established himself as one of the stronger dramatic actors of the decade with his unforgettable performance in Steve McQueen’s Hunger. He’s kept fairly busy since then with similarly stirring performances in Andrea Arnold’s Fish Tankand a few movies that slipped under most radars… and at least one that probably should have (Jonah Hex). Regardless, he’s poised to become a household name with his upcoming appearance as Magneto in X-Men: First Class and with his casting in Ridley Scott’s return to science fiction with Prometheus.

In Cary (Sin Nombre) Fukunaga’s take on Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre, Fassbender gets to play the iconic literary role of Edward Rochester, a character previously played by the likes of Orson Welles, Charlton Heston, William Hurt and Timothy Dalton. This Jane Eyre is played by Mia Wasikowska, her second iconic literary character after starring in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, and for those who haven’t read the book, the movie follows the life of that title character, an impoverished young woman trying to find herself a life without love who ultimately becomes the governess for the troubled Rochester, who falls in love with her. Fukunaga has taken a far more realism-based approach to the material which has been adapted many times previously, this time with a cast that includes Jamie Bell, Dame Judi Dench and Sally Hawkins.

Having spoken with Fassbender just last year, we already had a fairly comfortable rapport when we sat down with him a few weeks back, making it much easier to get right into a fairly freeform chat about the movie as well as other things he has going on.

ComingSoon.net: Obviously, “Jane Eyre” is a classic piece of fiction so when somebody sent you the script, you must have known at least the title. Did you have any sort of connection to the book at all? Michael Fassbender: Yeah, I had read the book I think six years ago or so, because I was involved in perhaps doing this thing called “Wide Sargasso Sea,” which is the idea of what would have happened in Jamaica before the Brontë novel. It wasn’t Brontë who wrote it, but (Jean Rhys’) take of what would happen in Jamaica and Rochester as a young man and what happened with Bertha the wife and all that. I read that and I read “Jane Eyre” at the time, and obviously I read it again once they offered me Rochester this time around. My sister and my mother were big fans when I was a child and when I was in my teens as well, they were always talking about it because my sister was reading it. That was the reason why I wanted to do it, so they could take a look.

CS: They must be thrilled. Have they seen it yet? Fassbender: They haven’t, no, I haven’t seen it yet! I’m waiting for the premiere to have the nerves and just to experience it for the first time with an audience.

CS: I don’t want to embarrass you but everyone I’ve talked to–men, women, gay, straight–they all have the hots for you after seeing this movie. Fassbender: Oh, really?! (laughs)

CS: Even though you already were a sex symbol, I think this movie is going to put you over the top. Fassbender: Oh, fantastic! (laughs)

CS: Rochester is almost as an iconic character as Jane Eyre herself, especially to the women who read the book who must have great expectations of what Rochester would be like. Fassbender: Yeah, that’s the thing, and I did watch all the previous versions as well, a lot of them I could get my hands on.

CS: Wasn’t Orson Welles one of them? Fassbender: Yeah, I watched that and at one point, I was supposed to be doing “Wuthering Heights,” about three years ago I think it was now, so I watched Laurence Olivier do his “Wuthering Heights,” and I was like, “Woah, it’s so overdramatic,” and the same with Orson Welles, it’s like (doing his impression of Welles) “Jaaane… Jaaaaaaaane…!” I think Toby Stephens was my favorite – he did it for ITV, one of the British channels, it was a six-parter for television. Then I threw it all away and then I sort of concentrated on what was in the book and what was in the script. By treating him as the Byronic hero, which Brontë wrote him like, that gave me all I needed and then I thought, “Okay, he seems a bit bipolar as well.” His moods sort of swing and it’s because of all the sh*t that’s going on in his head and the fact that (SPOILERS!!!!!) he’s got this woman locked upstairs in the attic that’s always with him in a way that’s almost like he’s carrying a weight with him as well.

CS: It must be tough, because he’s supposed to be the perfect romantic lead but he does have all these secrets and flaws, which slowly start to come out as Jane gets to know him. Fassbender: Definitely flawed, yeah, and at the beginning, and you think, “God, this guy is an ***hole.” He’s sort of manipulative and cruel and charming and you realize that he’s just been putting up all these fronts and layers and protections. I mean, as a young man, this sh*t happened to him, and he started off his life I always imagined bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to have a go at life and then BANG! He gets knocked on his *** and so, because of that, he doesn’t trust people, he doesn’t trust relationships. He’s been burned. So when Jane comes into the house, she just starts peeling away one layer after the other and in the end, she sort of heals him.

CS: When I talked to Mia and Cary a couple of days ago, they were saying they both had books with copious notes in them and had been referring back to the book and having all these meetings to discuss it. Did you have to go back to the book a lot yourself for reference? Fassbender: Yeah, I don’t really take a lot of notes. I’ve noticed that my scripts are usually quite empty of notes to be honest. I’ve scribbled down a few things, but I read the script over and over again a couple hundred times, it must have been. That’s the only way I kind of prepare, I just sort of read it and read it and read it, till you’re absolutely sick of it, and then you read it again. Then when I’m on set, it’s sort of in my skin, so I can then go anywhere I want with it and feel free to allow things to happen, as opposed to making sure I’m hitting all the points.

CS: The words from the novel especially for your character are great, some of the lines he says you kind of want to keep them in your head to use as pick-up lines. Fassbender: “Right, that would be a good one! That’s a first date line!” (laughs)

CS: Exactly, but you can only use those lines as long as the woman hasn’t read “Jane Eyre” and know where you stole them from. But was it Cary who wanted to make sure that some of Rochester’s best lines from the book remained in the film? Fassbender: Yes, I mean I didn’t change the script. It was so well written and it’s finding those little moments in the book. You’ve got a book and how do you condense it into a script and that’s the really fine art there, so everything that’s in there, every sentence, is there for a reason, because it’s been filtered down to what is absolutely necessary to have. That’s why I was saying that there was a precision that I wanted to find with him, so that I’m not just brush-stroking over stuff, that it’s more finite and sort of detailed.

CS: Were you able to use anything from the other script you had read that involved the character? Fassbender: “Wide Sargasso Sea”? That’s one way of going about it, and I tended to not go that way. The whole idea… I mean, I did often think, “Oh, God, poor Bertha. She might have just been a horny lady. She might have just enjoyed sex and back then, it’s like ‘Whoa, you’re enjoying this sh*t, you must have the devil in you or you must be crazy.'” So there is that take on it, but I kind of went along the lines that she was insane and it was a hereditary thing, her mother before her had mental problems, so that’s kind of the line I took.

CS: Let’s talk about Mia. I met her for the first time a couple of days ago, and she’s really quite amazing in terms of being 18 and really having it together. Can you talk about what makes her such a perfect Jane Eyre, and why she embodies that character? Fassbender: Yeah, it’s just because she’s such a gifted actress, really is. Once I found out she was playing Jane Eyre, and I got “In Treatment” and I watched her episodes on that.

CS: I assume this was before “Alice” and “The Kids Are All Right”? Fassbender: Yes, I haven’t seen “Alice” yet actually, but I was like “Oh My God, she’s got so much maturity.” There was this 17-year-old, or 16 as she was then, and I was like, “Wow, who is this girl?” Her choices are so interesting and she’s got a real connection with the camera. You’ve seen her as Mia and also the fact that she comes from this dance background. She’s got this great physical authority and command of her physicality that is brilliant and also a discipline that she’s brought from that dance world into the acting world. I just sort of had to try and keep up with her. She’s I think the future, she’s like Meryl Streep class.

CS: You’re also working with Carey Mulligan who is another one of those impressive young actresses. Fassbender: I know. That’s the thing. Once you’re put amongst a high caliber of talent, it raises you.

CS: Oh, and of course, the girl from “Fish Tank.” Fassbender: Yeah, Katie (Jarvis), wow, what an explosion she is. She’s not an actress, she’s just Katie. I’ll be interested to see what she does next or if she wants to act at all, I don’t know.

CS: Have you seen any of the Cronenberg film you did yet? Fassbender: I haven’t seen it. I don’t really see the films until there’s an audience. What do you say about David Cronenberg? Other than as a man, obviously his talent is clear for everyone to see. He’s a real master and a real technician, as well as being an artist, but he’s just such a nice guy and such a light personality and very warm, and funny. We had a good sense of humor on set, and then Viggo is obviously a big hero of mine, and Keira is going to make a lot of people sit up and what she does in this film is going to be really impressive.

CS: How’s it been going working with Steve McQueen again on “Shame”? Is this a little more conventional since you’re shooting in New York? Fassbender: (shakes head) No, it’s all the things you expect from Steve. It’s intense. There’s nothing left on the floor at the end of scenes. Everything goes into the camera. We improvise, we take risks, and it’s exciting and Sean Bobbit behind the camera again, it’s sort of dancing all together. We often say that, Steve and I, it’s like musicians and when the timing’s right, you can feel it, and when the timing’s off, you can also feel it. I’m back to working with him tomorrow so I’m trying to make sure I’m well prepared really.

CS: So is he doing a lot of location stuff here in New York? Fassbender: Yup, all location.

CS: How has he been adjusting to shooting here versus Ireland? Fassbender: Well, I think he went to film school or art school here, so he’s familiar with New York and always had the idea of setting this story in New York, so he’s been in and out of New York for the last couple years. When he first mentioned this idea to me in 2008, he’s been coming back and forth since then.

CS: It’s great that he’s shooting in New York. We really appreciate when filmmakers bring their films here. Fassbender: There was a time when there was loads and then there was a time when there wasn’t any, and now it’s sort of coming back again, which is great, because it’s such a fantastic setting to make films.

CS: Can you tell me anything more about the movie? Fassbender: I can’t really.

CS: I know that you have a history of sex. Fassbender: Yes…

CS: And that Carey Mulligan plays your sister. Fassbender: Yes…

CS: Is there anything else you can say about it? Fassbender: No! (laughs) But it’s a beautiful script and I have to say that it’s a very relevant topic and we’ll see, we’ll see.

You can also read what Fassbender said about taking on the role of Magneto, the Master of Magnetism in Matthew Vaughn’s X-Men: First Class over on SuperHeroHype.

Jane Eyre opens in select cities on March 11. Look for our video interview with director Cary Fukunaga very soon.

[attract-mode-collective]

Ready To Wear, Ready To Play

As previously noted, there’s been yet another change in direction for the Attract Mode blog… which I have dubbed Version 2.8 Final CE EX Λ Core Plus Alpha. BTW/FYI. But yeah, been posting on Twitter, a lot. So much so that you may have missed something, so here’s a recap!

Note: was originally going to cover everything tweeted throughout the month, but because there’s so much to cover (and February’s short)… am guessing bi-weekly might be the way to go. Am also going to present things mostly in order.

K, enough chatter: at the very top is another fine example of a Famicom being the ultimate in fashion accessory (via nintendu). And here we have, not designer threads but designer plastic (via gamefreaksnz)...

Speaking of plastic, Sega (or someone who got Sega’s blessing, or maybe not even) made Super Monkey Ball figures? Guess so (via magimacaque)...

I was under the belief that, if I truly wanted to make an impact with the relaunch of the Attract Mode Twitter, I couldn’t just post one single piece of Klonoa fan art, but two... 

And I only have one example of Cuphead fan art, but it’s the one that counts (via jothelion)...

It was Kyle who helped kick the Attract Mode Twitter’s rebirth into high gear, with the reveal of his Nintendo Power covers. So to help replay the favor, I must insistent that everyone purchase the hard copy of RPG_Friends (which I first mentioned here)...

Nothing makes me happier than seeing such a dense assortment of Japanese game stuffs (via peazy86)...

... Yet that being said, I also believe less can be more, plus a nice breeze while playing Secret of Mana is... well... nice (via sixteen-bit.tumblr)

These gamer chairs perfectly embody Japanese sensibilities when it comes to furniture, plus are a total 180 to the junk they peddle in the US (via shmups)...

Time for another excellent toco toco vid, this one features your fave old school Capcom illustrator, and mine, Akiman…

There's so much I love about this interview with the creator of Hong Kong 1997, whose goal was "to make the worst game possible”. Though this picture of the guy is near the top of my list... 

I love these kooky kids, thinking they could possibly get away with  stealing an entire Final Fight arcade cab (via videogamead)...

Yeah, I feel the same way kid (via tvgame)...

"This is Jesus. He lives inside my Neo Geo MVS cabinet. He was there when I got it. He is glorious." (via arcadephile)...

The pathos that is Sub Zero at the bat, in four modded screenshots(via lanceboyles)...

The pathos that is the Kachō interacting with kids, in just three YouTube screengrabs (via gaijira)...

And the pathos that is Splatoon 2, via two screengrabs and the piece of fan art that resulted (via lunaticobscurity)...

Though in addition to pathos, Splatoon is also filled to the brim with intensity (via thewaragainstgiygas)...

Welcome to VIOLENT CITY (via shmups)...

Also, STAY CHILL (via paperbeatsscissors)...

Not that any band in which music is performed via guitars hooked up to Famicoms is all that typical to being with, but this one is most definitely not typical (via miki800.com)...

This "what the hell is going on exactly" illustration has motivated me to finally Wario Land a spin at long last (via it8bit)...

Remember Absolutely Rose Street, the Beverly Hills 90210 meets Degrassi meets Wayne’s World-esque show that was actually an infomercial for the Sega 32X in disguise that I wrote about a little whiles ago? Well here's ad for it (via oldgamemags)...

I'm a total sucker for old Japanese video game mags, primarily ones featuring models/statues on the cover (via miki800)...

Another cover to an old Japanese game rag, this one featuring the very first Metal Gear; I wonder if this slightly cutesy take helped to inspire the Metal Gear we meet in Snatcher (via mendelpalace)...

Here we have a page from an 11 page comic, done in a single sitting, for an event that celebrates various pairings of Solid Snake/Otacon, one that's called Snot Week for whatever reason (via millionfish)...

I want this woman to be my mom (via cyberfights)...

Am obsessed with this image of a man playing Xevious in the middle of a desert that's clearly fabricated and clearly from the 80s (via shmups)...

mendelpalace sez: "This picture gives me anxiety" and I feel exactly the same...

This is comparable to my own morning commute, except for the lack of floating cherry blossom petals and various other differences (via tightenupthe)...

Spring is almost here, which means it's time for a new wardrobe, which really means it's time to get new PaRappa attire (via miki800.com)...

If a glitched Nintendo logo when booting up a Game Boy looks fashionable to you, you're in luck (via gameandgraphics)...

Tho if a glitched Game Boy Advance start up is more your style (via corruptionasart)...

Has anyone received this Mega Drive/Genesis chiptune album on a cart (described as a "16-bit VMU") yet? (via catskullelectronics)

Ever wonder what a 3 part symphony, one performed via 5 different Nintendo DSs and 5 different copies of Electroplankton, sounds like? Well wonder no more (via mendelpalace)...

And ever wonder what an Italian-based, US-born R&B, blues and disco singer (which is how Wikipedia describes Ronnie Jones) thought of video games in the year 1980? Again, wonder no more (via aestheticoftheday)...

The new DDR, which will record your performance and also add snazzy video effects, is my early contender for GOTY 2018 (via @Sega_AM2)...

I will never grow tired or bored of watching this run cycle, ever (via shmups)...

What appears to be a Nier motion study (via sixteen-bit)...

Sakura-ha (via rosscountertv)..

To commemorate the discontinuation of the Kinect sensor (via prostheticknowledge)...

Google Translate took the original Korean & translated it as: "Ittsumi! Maria", which @NotLikeFreddy re-translated as: "It's-a me, Mary-o"...

The medium of video games most certainly has many mountains to overcome yet, but there's little denying that we've made some progress nonetheless (via videofame)...

"I have to go now. My planet needs me.” (via sixteen-bit)...

Cuz it's been a while since I shared a gif from Sin & Punishment (via n64thstreet)...

The SNES & Genesis had cool accessories and all, yet I often wonder what it would have been like if 3D printers & Etsy were around back then...

Pretty much the cutest lil thing you'll see all day is this Genesis CDX hooked up to a 5″ Sony PVM (via decideweapons)...

“'Club Sega during the Snow' is a top-tier aesthetic, I think." (via pr0jectneedlemouse)

I love old VG sound team photos, especially when they double as old band photos, like Capcom's Alph Lyra here (via videogamesdensetsu)...

You all have no idea how happy I am to finally see a decent sized version of the flyer for Deadly Sport... again, no idea (via melvanainchains)...

Here's an illustration of Terry Bogard eating a hot dog (with the rest of his Fatal Fury posse chowing down as well)...

... Turns out, Terry's affinity for hot dogs is somewhat of a thing (via busterwolf)....

... Or, perhaps SNK as a whole are simply huge fans of hot dogs? (via meldowiseau)

I absolutely love this familiar, yet thoroughly refreshing take on Samus (via lady--peaches)...

And nothing new to report, as it pertains to @deimosremus's Metroid redesign, so am just going to continue staring at this some more...

Love Hultén is mostly known for their handheld creations, like the Pixel Vision, though I mostly dig their full-sized cabinet, the Kabin 1...

"Damn Tecmo never let Microsoft live that design down" (via sixteen-bit)...

Cuz I recently began replaying Breath of the Wild...got the Switch version for the gf on her birthday... some fan art (via it8bit)...

I've seen my fair share of comics with Sonic & Tails, but never one that addresses the debug mode from the original Genesis games (via vg-libary)...

Here we have two cats, from the game Jingle Cats, occupied with the fridge (via obscurevideogames)...

And here we have just one cat, from the Sailor Moon anime, occupied with an arcade game that I am unable to identify (via sailormoonreblogs)...

Can you believe the music video for @MissyElliott's Sock It 2 Me is over 20 years old? Crazy, I know...

Speaking of Mega Man, I guess I need to finally check out Mega Man Zero, cuz apparently X goes through some kind of religious conversion or something (via omnilunary)...

And here we have Cut Man, the one we all know (and love) from Mega Man meeting his Captain N doppelganger (via mewymarsher)...

I absolutely need this on a shirt or jacket (via @buzz_clik)...

It's always a thrill, seeing a fighting stick made out of tupperware in the wild for the very first time, isn't it? (via @silva_hime)

Yes. Fighting Layer is that game in which you jump off a folding chair to smash another one on the head of a gigantic falcon (via lordmo)...

Tonight’s episode: PINBALL ALCHEMIST (via tonights-episode)...

Here we have a Tumblr thread giving suggestions on how to access a seemingly inaccessible area of a hotel lobby; my fave, for perhaps obvious reasons, is the ring path/light speed dash combo from Sonic Adventure...

Am kinda hungry atm and feel like slicing & dicing some celery & onions, plus making some Julienne Fries; anyone got a copy of Sonic 2 handy? (via sonicthehedgeblog)

A. thanks to this fan art, I now know you can also play OutRun in Hokuto no Ken PS4! & B. great piece & all, but...still a shame that Alex Kidd is missing (via inspiredfatty)...

I've legit been staring at these rotating NES and SNES gifs all day long (via 3d-bear)...

These photos from the Dreamcast Mobile Assault Tour, circa the late 90s, right before the system's launch are very... and I mean VERY... 90s (via posthumanwanderings)...

"What will your next dream be?" (via 081594)

You know that UK/US reality show Undercover Boss, in which a billionaire CEO disguises himself as the new mailroom guy? Well there's apparently a version in Japan, with an episode starring the president of Taito (via @MMCafe_Prof)...

On Valentine's Day I came across a horror movies blog that presented various horror movie Valentines, including one for Jason Voorhees that references Friday The 13th for NES (via cameraviscera.com)...

Also, for Valentine's, my girlfriend made me pixelated chocolate; the pic does the blue hearts in particular zero justice, which look like plastic toys, but most assuredly are made of milk chocolate...

... And that’s it for now! The rest of February coming up in a few!

[theredheadstory]

MY STORY (I): The Redhead behind The Redhead Story

Hi. Hallo. Ciao. Salut. Julia Bell here, founder and writer of The Redhead Story.

It’s wonderful to have you with me; thank you for tagging along as I am on my way to step it up a notch, pushing The Redhead Story to an actual brand level and launching my new, beautiful corner of the internet in just a few weeks’ time. (It’s anything but boring; no, not like this space here, I promise! It will be completely revamped! Eeek, I cannot wait to show you guys.)

Who’s so excited with me?

It’s such a big step with a lot of scary moments, but I am still here.

Now, I know that some of you have been tagging along for quite some time, having seen this blog space changed, tweaked, filled with my personal stories mostly. And I know that there are new faces following, too. That’s why I want to give you more; create more valuable insights and content for you, my readers. Ultimately, you are the engine of what I do.

This is the first entry of an 8-post website/brand pre-launch series called “MY STORY”.

I thought those few weeks before the actual website will be launched and The Redhead Story be presented in a new light would be the perfect time to reflect back on where I have started - just to see how far I have come. Also, since integrity is one of my main values and I always want to stay true to myself, with my personality shining through in everything I do (for the personal touch and approachability, which is super important to me), it might be just the perfect moment to share a little bit about myself. A good starting point for all of us.

Ready? Grab a cup of coffee (I have mine right next to me, with a splash of whole milk), light a candle if you want (I am smelling pumpkin spice right now, my leftover candle from fall, but never gets old), and sit back.

This is why I am who I am.  

A Lesson Learned

A German native, I grew up in a small town north of Hannover, where it’s flat, there are a lot of forests, and also wide open spaces with a lot of horses. Oh, and it’s super close to the North Sea. Going skiing in Austria and vacationing on Föhr (a dreamy North Frisian Island I love) have been my family's favorite annual things to do. And I didn’t complain.

When I was 16, I, for the very first time, felt this desire to go abroad.

It was this time when a handful of people from my high school went abroad for an exchange semester or year.

Combined with my love for languages - especially English -, and my parents’ support, I took the leap and jetted off to America for the very first time in my life, to stay with a host family I had never seen before; to go to a school I had never been to; and to experience a culture I had never immersed myself in. It.was.hard. 

But, spoiler alert: I had the time of my life.

My friends and host family (they are still part of my life and just recently flew out to attend my wedding here in San Diego, for which I am so absolutely thankful) were an integral part in my developing American love story.

Funny, how, now that I am married (expect more posts about how all that happened), the term “American love story” gets such a different meaning.

Then, upon my return home to Germany, I experienced an intense, reverse culture shock. I learned that people moved on without me, that I changed, and that some relationships are not meant to last forever. This living abroad experience should leave its mark on me forever. And I will forever be grateful for that opportunity that literally changed my outlook on life and brought me to where I am today.

As sad and intimidating as it was to see that some people were not who I thought they were, there was a greater lesson to be learned for me:

I’d learned how much more there was to this world. It sparked my fire for travel and new experiences, which has continued ever since.

From a Small Town Girl to a German Expat in London

Education furthered my travel bug. I finished high school. While working towards my Bachelor’s Degree in Germany for Political Science and American Studies, I continually hopped back to my previous host family in New York.

Then, London drew me in for my Masters.

I initially didn’t want to pursue my Masters degree but thinking of combining it with another study abroad experience just made so much sense. I saw this as an immense opportunity, both personally and professionally.

And so I started sending out applications. Goldsmiths College, University of London, is where I should be going; Political Communications it should be.

Fast forward, equipped with one suitcase and a carry on, I began a new adventure back in summer of 2013

While in the heart of the UK, I traversed Scotland, England and Ireland. I was over the moon with all these places I could explore so easily, as they were right at my fingertips.

With these red locks, I fit right in. (I always call specifically Scotland my spiritual home.)

It was my UK travels that launched this blog : The Redhead Story.

Fueled by a love of writing and need for a creative outlet, I began travel blogging to share my experiences. (I am a chatty little ginger, as my mom would say; this hasn’t changed throughout the years.)

As I poured in more energy, my skills and tools improved - like upgrading camera types and image styles (still a lot to learn in that realm, but already looking into a new camera now that a new website will be launching and high quality content is important to me). But that’s the beauty of life; both then and now, there’s always still so much room to grow.

This is also when I began writing for other blogs or even smaller travel brands.

By that time I already knew that this is something I want to do full-time at some point in life. But it seemed unreal. (And here I am now, just having wrapped up my full time job to focus on this little business, so near and dear to my heart.)

After graduation from my Masters, the next chapter was a mystery.  

How an Opportunity Landed Me as a Travel Blogger in California

I returned to Germany in late summer of 2014, deeply unhappy. I wasn’t sure where my life was going but one thing I knew for sure: I needed to be somewhere abroad. I started a job in a marketing firm but day-dreamed of packing my back and jetting off to the U.S. in hopes I would figure life out, or simply back to London. But we all know: both would have been quite costly in the long run.

A new year, and I joined the team at the German American Chamber of Commerce California. Working in their Cultural Exchange program was the melding of my life thus far : bilingual language skills, international collaborations and, specifically, working with the United States, a place so dear to my heart.

I still found myself in Germany but hey, at least I communicated with people from the U.S.

But life is a beautiful thing and even though I am a planner, not knowing what comes next can be quite thrilling.

Then, THE opportunity came : The chance to continue as a part of the organization in sunny San Diego.

It was an immediate YES.

How San Diego Travel Writing Has Empowered a Balanced, Healthy Lifestyle

It was a matter of about what - 3 weeks? And off I was, California bound. This was all so very unreal.

I arrived in San Diego. I had my a room lined up. I knew the office address. The rest was a blank piece of paper. I needed to write my story. More so: I had the opportunity to write it in a place I have never been but dreamed of going for so long.

Being here has fueled my desire to see more of this diverse country. It has given me so many other new opportunities I am so thankful for. It’s not all roses and butterflies, but since I set foot on California’s southernmost city’s soil, I found a base, a home. Certainly, meeting my adventure pal over here who I will be sharing life with from now on (a separate post about that is to follow) plays a huge role in that.

Ever since, I have relished my work, America’s Finest City and pursuing my travel writing.

Throughout my time in the UK, Germany and the States since, I’ve written for a variety of outlets, collaborating with various publications to create content that helps readers to truly experience a place.

Because traveling isn’t just about seeing a site. Traveling :

Expands your mind.

Is a process of personal growth.

Is my favorite way to achieve a balanced life.

With slow travel that is : Diving into one city or area for longer periods of time. Even if very active, it lets us slow down and gain appreciation for our surroundings.

Whether exploring the Arizona desert, hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park, or walking small towns in England, I also believe travel is the best way to internal reflection. Especially the more we can get outdoors. The chance to walk. To hike. To ride through a city by bicycle.

I’m passionate about seeing the world up close. Not from a car window. I love going slow, soaking it all in - reflecting.

As I continue life as a German expat in the U.S., I will continue writing, sharing stories of exploring my backyard, going on day and weekend trips, shorter and longer getaways in the U.S. and across borders.

A Journey of Traveling & Personal Growth

I invite you to join me on my very personal journey and see the world through my eyes. It is about personal growth - because that’s what exploring does to you: It changes your perspective on things, in a good way. It allows you to see a broader picture, interact with people, understand more.

By no means am I a travel expert, but I have one thing: passion. A passion for sharing personal experiences, creating my story and ultimately inspiring yours.

I hope the new The Redhead Story corner will be an inspiration for you and I am excited to hopefully hear more about your stories, about how exploring and “going out there - doesn’t matter where - has impacted your life and perspective on life and furthered personal growth.

Thank you for being part of this (life) adventure.

Because adventure is what you define for yourself.

I hope you got to know me a little better and understand where I am coming from. If you have any questions, I’d love to hear from you.

___________________________________________

The next post of my 8-post website & brand pre-launch series will be highlighting my approach to travel and how this has changed. Stay tuned!

Instagram // Twitter

[222daysoflight]

A Journey Through Kitee, Finland: Birthplace of Nightwish

So as some of you know and I’ve made a few random posts about, last December I visited Kitee, Finland, the birthplace of Nightwish and (arguably) of symphonic metal. I’ve been wanting to make a full post about it for a long time, but I really want to do it justice. It’s a long story, so I’ve put it under a cut, but I feel like there’s some good info in there.

I’m going to try to give it what it deserves, but the long and short of it is: Kitee’s the most magical place I’ve ever visited. And that’s not something I say lightly, or with anything but sincerity. I’ve been to a fair amount of places, but Kitee feels like nowhere else I’ve ever been.

I can see how it created something like Nightwish.

So, bits of background: Nightwish has been my favourite band since I was about 10. It was the first thing I remember ever autonomously liking, and I’ve pretty much always liked them with the intensity I do now, but I was very embarrassed about it and kept it a secret until I was about 16. Why that is is a different matter entirely, but my point in explaining this is to hammer home (as if the whole “Nightwish blog” didn’t do that already) is that Nightwish is something massively important and personal to me, and has been for more than half my life. Going to Kitee was like a pilgrimage.

Anyway, more practical things: I was in Europe in December. I had no intention of flying back to the States for Christmas, and I wanted to go somewhere. Ergo, Finland. Now, several years ago, in the early days of this blog, I was talking to someone who had gone to Kitee, and they had mentioned a name to me: Plamen Dimov. I found him on facebook and sent him a message asking if he would recommend some places to see in Kitee. He replied for me to text him the time my train would get into town, and he’d come pick me up.

So one cold December morning after Christmas, I got on a train from Joensuu, where I was staying, to Kitee, about a half hour south. I texted Plamen, got off the train, waited for everyone else to get into their cars and leave, and then approached the only car that remained.

It was the right car, fortunately, so I got in and introduced myself properly to Plamen Dimov. Essentially, his claim to fame is that he is the music teacher in the Kitee high school who originally taught Tarja, Tuomas, Emppu, Jukka, and Sami. He was instrumental in their earlier stuff, though since they’ve gotten bigger, he’s taken more of a step back. But (as I’ll talk about later) he’s still very close to Tuomas and the Holopainen family, and has, of course, taken on the role of tour guide to people who have somehow found his name and are juuuust obsessed enough to come to town.

He’s also a big, loud, intimidating Bulgarian man.That should definitely be noted. We realised afterwards that we hadn’t taken a picture together, and I regret that.

First stop after the train station was Plamen’s house, because he had lost the keys to the museum where all the Nightwish stuff was. On the way, he told me about how as kids around my age, the entire original lineup of Nightwish used to sleep at his house so that they could stay up together and finish the demo that would become Angels Fall First. 

It was there, he said, that they actually came up with the name Nightwish for the band, basing it off the song of the same name. I was thrilled to learn this, since I had been wondering about that for years and the internet was not forthcoming. Plamen eventually found his keys, and we left again.

Stop 2 was actually the local convenience store, because I’m not very smart and had not bought a return ticket to Joensuu, and apparently they sell out. When the lady checked, the last train with tickets available was the 6pm train. Plamen said it really wouldn’t take us that long and he had afternoon appointments. I said it was fine, I would just wander around for a while, and then we would meet up again and he would take me to the train. This ended up being a lovely bit of luck, but I didn’t know that yet.

Kitee is a tiny town. The municipality (also called Kitee) it’s in has a population of about 10 000, but the town itself is essentially just one street with shops on either side, clusteres of houses on little side streets, and then farms and lakes and forests. Your classic small town, at first glance.

And Plamen knew everybody. Before we even made it to the museum, he had already stopped three times to chat with random people. He’s large and sort of scary looking, but also very, very friendly and charismatic. He also seemed to take great joy in interrupting his Finnish conversation to go “and this my visiting Canadian!” while pointing at me. This didn’t really ease how intimidated I was by him, but y’know, that’s just my personality.

Eventually though we did make it to the museum, which was an old barn converted for the purpose. We went in, and it had apparently originally been a museum about logging in the area, but Nightwish stuff was slowly starting to creep its way down the stairs to probably take over the building. 

The upstairs area, as it were, was already cramped with artefacts in cases (for the ones that really couldn’t be left out in an uninsulated barn), and sort of roughly organised in another area (for the things that could get a bit cold or wet). And it was small, don’t get me wrong-- this isn’t a high-budget operation, and Kitee is a tiny town to have anything that big-- but it was fascinating what was in there. All of the editions of all of the albums. The original lyric sheet for “Eva”. The original artwork for the cover of Century Child. The certifications for when the albums had gone silver, gold, platinum. There was even a poster, inexplicably, from the Nightwish show that I had been to in Toronto two years prior. 

Frankly, even despite its mediocre organisation and small size, it was a little bit overwhelming. It was like everything that had been so important in my life all in one room.

(I blame my poor photography skills on glare)

Plamen let me look around for a bit, then asked me what my favourite Nightwish album was. My answer for that is actually about four pages long, but I just said Once, because that’s the conclusion of those four pages.

On the way out he had me sign a guestbook, which was pretty fun to leaf through. It wasn’t signed very often, but the places that people had come from were pretty amazing: Mexico, Brazil, Japan, all over Europe. I put in my own name and a nice word in for Montreal, and then we left.

Next stop was the Kitee high school, which I thought was strange, but it turns out that Finnish high schools have recording studios in their basements (don’t tell me if not all Finnish high schools do, I want to believe), and that all of the Nightwish albums until Dark Passion Play were recorded in said high school basement. I think it’s technically called “Caverock” or something, but it’s totally just a recording studio below a school.

Now, this is the only recording studio I’ve ever actually been into, but from my inexperienced perspective (and you can tell me yes or no from the pictures) but that place is swanky. There were a few rooms that you sort of snaked through, but eventually you made it to the back, where there was what I would call a Nightwish shrine.

This thing is huge, and filled with signatures. It was sort of like the guestbook, but it had all of the members of Nightwish, their families, their crew, everybody who was important or had visited the town where it all began. Plamen gave me a marker and I dutifully added my name, country of origin, and date to the shrine. Not gonna lie, I felt a little bit proud with my name there alongside everyone else’s.

Then Plamen opened up a little storage closet, pushed aside some cleaning supplies, and pulled out a microphone. I know I already posted this once, but I just feel like it bears repeating.

P: Here, it’s the microphone Tarja used to record Once. Want to hold it? Me: Oh god no, I’m going to break it. P: You’re not going to break it, it’s already broken Me: No no, I’m going to break it more P: ... Just take it

And so I held the microphone used to record Once, my favourite Nightwish album, the one that Rolling Stone said was really good or something. It was just a broken microphone, but I think you can tell be the look on my face. I was absolutely smitten.

So when we were looking at the shrine wall, Plamen had pointed out the signature of John Finburg. He’s Nightwish’s North American tour manager, and if you’re from North America and have seen Nightwish or various others before, he runs the ticket ordering service Enter the Vault. And, much like his ticket ordering service, John Finburg is terrible. Horribly misogynistic and racist. I don’t want to get too much into it here (or why people use him), but my point is that he’s a scummy human being and I hate him with a passion.

I don’t know why, but as we were walking back to the car, I mentioned this to Plamen. He turned back to me and looked sort of angry, and I was afraid I had said something bad, but I was wrong. I will never forget what he said next:

“John Finburg is a giant piece of shit. The way he treats women-- I told him, if you lay a hand on any one of the girls, I will kill you.”

Needless to say, Plamen and I got along swimmingly after that.

We got back into the car and drove for a while after that.The above picture is the very far edge of the Meadows of Heaven, which is apparently an actual place and not just a metaphor in a song (which I had always assumed). I wish I had a better picture, but they were on the left and Plamen’s head was in the way, but essentially it’s just this huuuuge open meadow, dark pine trees behind it, lake just barely visible in the distance. It was covered in snow because of the time of year, and Plamen said it was absolutely beautiful in summer, filled with wildflowers and the like.I don’t know, I thought it was pretty with the snow on it.

All the while Plamen chatted, giving interesting tidbits about Finland, which I found fascinating but isn’t worth relaying here. But, once we had bonded  over our mutual hatred of John Finburg (or something), he also started to talk about other Nightwish things, especially Tuomas. About how he had once had to pull a girl off Tuomas and then talk her down. About that girl who had tried to get Tuomas to sign a marriage certificate. And how Tuomas had had to set up security around his house, because of people figuring out where he lived then going there (???). I asked if my belief was correct, that Tuomas is just a quiet Finnish man who would just like to write music in peace. The answer to that is yes.

Oh, and also, Plamen loves Floor. Obviously he had a special connection with Tarja, and he liked Anette, but he was on my page that Floor is a perfect fit for the band.

“Before with the other two, they were always a band and a soloist, a band and a soloist,” he said. “Now, with Floor, they’re just a band.”

Eventually, we stopped and got out of the car at the above house. Plamen explained that it was the Holopai’s house, Tuomas’ parents, and that they weren’t home at the time otherwise they would probably love to come out and meet me (Tuomas’ uncle/godfather lives in the red house to the side, hence the footprints). So I was like okay, cool, Tuomas grew up really really far from everything. We were about 10km from the Russian border, in pretty much the middle of nowhere.

Then Plamen lead me down a little path that went to the edge of the lake, looking out over the quiet, frozen emptiness.

“Over there, on that island,” he said,

“was where the idea for Nightwish was born.”

I took the picture, the sun (kindly) cooperating with me, and then I just... stood there. I stood there and stared for a long time. Plamen silently smoked a cigarette behind me, letting me be all weird and caught up in the mythos of it all. Do I really believe that Nightwish started there? I’m not sure. But it’s a nice story, and that’s what Nightwish is all about, right?

After a while, Plamen came back to stand by me again. Some dogs had started barking in the distance, and Plamen asked me if I knew what that meant. I said no.

“Wolves,” he said simply.

It was a few more senconds, and then there was the distinctive howl of a wolf, silencing all the dogs. It was one of the oddest things I had ever experienced. Absolutely eerie.

We stopped a few other places, but nowhere particularly worth noting in this already very long post. As I said, my train didn’t arrive for several more hours, and Plamen had some afternoon commitments, so we drove to the supermarket parking lot and he dropped me off. I said I was okay to just wander around a few hours, that I was used to the cold. He told me that if anything came up, I was supposed to go into the pizzeria and say “puhelin Plamen” (which means “telephone Plamen,” but like it’s being said by a child who doesn’t understand grammar). I agreed, and he drove off.

So then I had several hours to kill in a town that only had one road. I went into the supermarket to get some food, because it was around lunch time. For some reason, this supermarket had a music section, and so I waltzed on in and looked at some of the titles. Normal stuff, mostly-- all the Nightwish CDs-- and all organised in alphabetical order, like normal.

Except when I got to the letter “T”, I found this:

I don’t know why I found this little thing so strange, but I did. That CD should not have been classed under “T”, it should be under “H” for Holopainen. And yet it most definitely was not. I didn’t take a picture in the store, but I did stand there for a long while, thinking to myself how weird it was. Tuomas was so normal in that town, it would have been unusual to put his own album under his last name.

I didn’t own Life and Times of Scrooge, so I bought it along with my weird bagel things* and some hummus, and then set back out into the day, not really knowing what I was going to do.

It wasn’t a cold day at all, compared to some of those I’ve experienced in Montreal. Still, it was hovering around -4 C, and I didn’t have my proper winter gear with me, so it was a bit chilly. Plus, the minute I left the store, it started to snow as well, which was not helped by the fact that none of my clothes were waterproof. But it wasn’t wholly unpleasant, as far as days go, especially given December in Finland. Plus I was eager to explore.

As mentioned, Kitee “downtown” is just one street, so I decided it best to go out into the “outskirts” a bit. Being a proper wannabe goth (tm), the first place this lead me to was a series of graveyards. For a town of so few, Kitee has A LOT of graveyards, and you can make of that what you will with regards to Nightwish. 

Next order of business was weird abandoned mill thing. Look, I have no idea, I had time to kill, and have a terrible sense of self preservation. I went through some of the outbuildings, with most everything being too dark to photograph and I just... I don’t know what this place was, really. One of the places seemed like a house, abandoned and with its door gaping open, with snow blowing in. Like nobody cared.

However, when I reached the far edge of the mill-area, I realised that there was, in fact, an occupied building on the property, and that there were lights on in it. I was fairly certain that I wasn’t supposed to be there. If I got caught I doubted I’d be able to explain myself, and I was too far from the pizzeria for me to emergency call Plamen for Finnish help.

So I bolted into the woods.

This was, perhaps, a mistake.

Now you see, the entirety of Kitee is surrounded by forest on the edge of a lake, so I knew that is I kept the lake in my sights I would be able to find my way back into the town. This is an excellent theory. However, as I mentioned, I didn’t have proper snow gear, and while my boots were okay and I had tucked my socks correctly, there was probably 8 inches of the snow on the ground in the forest, beautiful and pristine and utterly impossible to walk through.

But I had committed, and I didn’t really want to turn back and risk having anyone ask me questions. So I set off again, this time slogging through the woods.

I was never lost, per se, but I didn’t really know where I was going. I always kept the lake at my side, and knew I would get there eventually. At one point I ended up alongside a freeway before going back into the woods. It would snow, then stop, then snow again. Things were starting to melt onto me.

But I didn’t really care. As I walked along-- sometimes finding paths, sometimes through the woods-- it was the weirdest feeling. Like I was just suuuper aware of my surroundings, of the silence, of everything, and it was all... pleasant. Like when you’re warm and cozy in bed with the knowledge you don’t have to be anywhere for a little bit. I don’t like to bandy about words like magical, but that’s the closest I can come to describing it.

There would sometimes be weird little bits of life left behind in the woods, like this chimney with nothing else still visible around it. Sometimes there would be things like the freeway or a house. But for the most part, it was just trees, and snow, and views like the picture above this one, of a vast, frozen lake.

It may sound boring, the way I’ve described it. Snow and trees and ruined structures. But that’s not how I felt, and I think the most telling thing was that I didn’t listen to anything. Ever since I got my first iPod nearing on ten years ago, I’ve had headphones in constantly. I probably listen to about 5 hours of music a day, on average. It’s a compulsion, and has to do with some mental health issues that I won’t get into, but suffice it to say that I usually get very stressed if I’m out and not listening to music.

But walking through those woods, for pretty much the first time since I was 12, I didn’t feel the need to listen to music. Not Nightwish, not anything. Actually, at one point I put my headphones in, then took them out again, because it felt so wrong. 

It sounds sort of silly, all typed out. “Kitee cured my anxiety,” or whatever. But it felt real at the time, and I swear to god, there something weird about that place. Maybe it was all in my head, but hey, so is the music, in the end.

I did eventually make it back to town, crossing through a metal pipe under the freeway (?) and eventually seeing the main stretch. It was pretty dark at that point, too, so I was pretty glad when I saw the entrance to town and the glow of the ABC minimart/gas station in the distance.

(don’t forget to rake your tits)

Plamen had suggested that if I got too cold I could go into the minimart to wait for him, and I felt like that was just what I needed. I went, got a coffee, and sat at a table in a far corner. There was wifi, so I made this post, and checked some stuff, but mostly I just wrote all of this down, everything that had happened, but mostly about how fucking weird I felt.

I listening to old men play slot machines and teenagers fuck around two tables over from me. I watched as cars drove by in the dark. Life went on while I was having a very small existential crisis with some mediocre coffee in a gas station.

As such, I managed to accidentally miss the time that I was supposed to meet Plamen back in the supermarket parking lot, and had to run to get back there. I was only a few minutes late, but he was extremely worried about me, even though I had plenty of time before my train.

Anyway, his son Nikolai had for some reason tagged along to drive me back to the station, but honestly I was very glad for the company. Things seemed more normal with them there, and we talked and laughed about languages, and Canada and Finland, and metal and circus. They told me to come back again anytime, but especially in the summer, as that was when things got really beautiful. I thanked Plamen and said goodbye to Nikolai, and got out to wait for my now-late train.

The lake wasn’t frozen over back up in Joensuu. I don’t know why. The next day I was back to listening to music again, exploring Joensuu and the woods there, but it wasn’t quite the same. Nothing was quite the same, and part of me doubts that I’ll ever find anything else that is.

There’s something weird about Kitee, and it’s not just Nightwish. And I really, really like it.

*if ANYONE knows what the weird bagel things are, I will love you forever. They’re more like rings of dough, so the hole in the centre is huge, and they’re a lot sweeter than normal bagels. I think I ate about 4 a day when I was in Joensuu, but I cannot for the life of me remember what they are called.

[turnonthesubtitles-blog]

Dramas: The GREAT, The GOOD, and the GAWD AWFUL (Updated)

This is from my own watch list, and is SOLELY my opinion. With over 60 129 dramas/films finished, I have a lot of opinions. Additions are noted by a space. 

Here it is:

THE GREAT

Coffee Prince: The greatest OTP of my lifetime. ;-)

Flower Boy Next Door: Full of heart and PSH’s best work.

Heart to Heart: Strange second-half, but this has an amazing OTP

It’s Okay, That’s Love: Beautifully dramatic and fully focused on relationships

Kill Me, Heal Me: Amazing premise, a bit melodramatic and zany but stayed interesting until the final episode

My Name Is Kim Sam Soon: Maybe my favorite female protagonist to date. She crass, strong, and amazing.

Oh My Ghost: Thrilling premise with two amazing female leads

Splash Splash Love: A quick three episode drama and some of Kim Seul Gi’s best work.

A Werewolf Boy (K-Movie): Tragic and heartbreaking, but each tear is deserved. Moody and atmospheric in the best way.

Beautiful Life: Hits you like a punch in the gut, but Kimura Takuya is amazing in this beautifully melodramatic romance.

Nigeru wa Haji da ga Yaku ni Tatsu: They try to make marriage into business relationship and hilarity ensues. A true delight.

Our Times (Taiwanese Movie): Bittersweet and the only school-based drama or film I’ve seen that left me satisfied.

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo: I lied, this campus romance was everything. Funny, sweet, uplifting with an OTP I will love for a LONG time.

ALMOST AWESOME

Healer

Ex-Girlfriend Club

Cheese In The Trap (This one hurts)

I Remember You/Hello Monster

Marriage, Not Dating

Mask

My Girl

Reply 1988

Reply 1997

Reply 1994

Surplus Princess

The Girl Who Sees Smells

The Lover

Tomorrow’s Cantabile

A Girl and Three Sweethearts

Age of Youth

Another Miss Oh

Back to 1989

Boss & Me/Shan Shan Comes to Eat

Evergreen Love (J-Movie)

Long Vacation

Marriage Contract

Mood of the Day (K-Movie)

Never Said Goodbye (K-Movie)

Orange (J-Movie)

Something About 1%

The Liar and His Lover (J-Movie)

THE GOOD/OK

Boys Over Flowers

Bromance

EXO Next Door

Fabulous Boys

You’re Beautiful

Falling For Innocence

Fated to Love You

High School King of Savvy

High End Crush

I Need Romance Series (ALL 3)

Last Cinderella

Moon River

Murphy’s Law of Love

Noble My Love

Oh My Venus

Oh My Lady

One Sunny Day

Pretty Boy/Bel Ami/Pretty Man

Scent of a Woman

She Was Pretty

Smile You

The Greatest Love

The Master’s Sun

Witch’s Romance

Cheer Up/Sassy Go Go

Blue Spring Ride (J-Movie)

Clover (J-Movie)

Divorce Lawyer in Love

Down With Love

Emergency Couple

First Time (C-Movie)

Go Away, Mr. Tumor (C-Movie)

Go Ho’s Starry Night

Hear Me (Taiwanese Film)

Heroine Disqualified (J-Movie)

Kyou wa Kaisha Yasumimasu

Love O2O

My Love Story!! (J-Movie)

Nodame Cantabile: The Final Score (J-Movie)

One Smile is Very Alluring (C-Movie)

Strobe Edge (J-Movie)

The Beauty Inside (K-Movie)

The Black Devil and the White Prince (J-Movie)

U-Prince Series

Wannueng Jaa Pben Superstar

Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge

You are the Apple of My Eye (Taiwanese Movie)

GAWD AWFUL

Absolute Boyfriend: A fairly ridiculous premise with the worst ending I have ever seen.

Flower Boy Ramen Shop: There is nothing romantic about yelling at each other for 16 episodes.

Full House Take 2 (The entire FULL HOUSE series really): Again, they are just mean to each other. Why is this enjoyable?

Hyde Jekyll Me: I will never understand the conflict. He’s the SAME man, how can one stupid female protagonist be so conflicted? You don’t deserve Hyun Bin’s love!!

I Order You: A female lead so awful I wanted to claw my eyes out. It’s cute at first but it’s like when a cat plays with you and then out of nowhere it just scratches your face with its deadly paw. Not enjoyable.

Just You: Simple story, but comically horrible third wheel intervention.

Madame Antoine: Deep breath. These two are horrible people and deserve to be alone.

Mary Stayed Out All Night: MESSY writing --- you’d think that having Jang Geun Suk and Kim Jae Wook fighting over you would be a thing of beauty, but homegirl made the whole triangle yawn worthy 

Playful Kiss: Perhaps my first K-drama hate. I don’t mind my male lead a little grumpy, but emotionally abusive is not cute.

Rooftop Prince: I already don’t like Han Ji Min, but the ending of this made me want to vomit in disgust

Twenty Again/Second Time Twenty Year Old: You know that drama that was a romantic comedy where the leads had no chemistry? No I’m not talking about Heirs! It’s this one!

Secret Garden: Felt like the longest drama I had ever seen, and not in a good way. The premise is a body swap but the body swap is all but forgotten by the mid-point. This writer and I were never able to get along.

To The Beautiful You: Get a female lead that can actually attempt to look and act like a girl. Heck, you need to talk to the Coffee Prince people.

Dal Ja’s Spring: This show just lost steam. I kept waiting to like Dal Ja but by the last four episodes I just wondered if my TV was broken.

High Society: When your second lead couple are more interesting and charming than your lead one, you have a problem.

Heirs: Ha ha. No.

After School: Lucky or Not: SUPER cheezy -- not as much AWFUL as just not...good.

Attic Cat: Again, just a couple that yells at each other for the whole series. Kim Rae Won is petulant, and the female lead is just forgettable.

Choco Bank: Short drama which a paper thin plot. I know the dude’s from EXO, but his beauty can not save this.

Click to Your Heart: Interesting premise -- a choose your own adventure style drama, but I liked NONE of the options.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Thai Movie): The only thing I believe about this movie is that it’s crazy that I thought it would be good.

Poison Berry in my Brain (J-Movie): Not at ALL what I thought it would be. Starts off quirky, ends up really troubling.

The Miracle: I don’t like heavy women as the butt of all the jokes. She was only ever able to experience love when she was in the body of a skinny person, and I don’t like that message.

When a Snail Falls in Love: The trailers for this made it seem like it was a romantic comedy with action in it....not true. It’s more of a violent action thriller with an occasionally cute scene tacked on.

[moonprincess92]

Rebelcaptain fanfic: take me out tonight (2)

Chapter 1 

Read on AO3 

Chapter 2: so dark we forget who we are 

   The market place on Kariah was hot, sweaty and assaulted her nose with every scent. Along with the blazing triple suns, air pollution hung like a fog over the streets, highlighting the dust that kicked up under feet and intensifying the temperature even more. Jyn Erso hadn’t exactly chosen to come here; she’d been given a free ride out of a slight mess she’d gotten herself into (she might have possibly stolen from the wrong person), with the only downside being no choice in where the cargo shipment landed. She was stuck in this hellhole until she managed to find another way off-planet, and she had to do it before she melted. The high-rise buildings only made the heat worse, towering above the stalls and the crowds, so that it gave off the feeling of walking through a swamp.

    But for what felt like the first time since she’d walked down the ship ramp and was hit with the blast of heat, she wasn’t currently thinking about the weather.

   Jyn pulled the hood over her head even further as she eyed the man she had accidentally spotted across the crowded square. He looked like he was having a miserable time dealing with the heat, sweat staining his shirt and his boots kicking the dusty bricks under his feet. Anyone who clearly hadn’t adapted to the climate stuck out from a mile away as being not from around here, and she and this man certainly had that in common. But the reason she had ground to a halt and nearly slammed into someone was that she recognised him.

   Cassian. The Rebel Intelligence Officer from the bar.

   She hastily darted behind the nearest stall, a thrill quite unexpectedly hitting her. It might have been six months ago, but she wouldn’t forget him. She never would. She knew it had been stupid of her, she shouldn’t have let him buy her those drinks, shouldn’t have spoken to him under the dark lights of the cantina, shouldn’t have wished for another life where she was brave enough to run away to the Rebel Alliance with him, shouldn’t have kissed him for all he was worth out in the street … so many things she shouldn’t have done.

   She needed to get out of there.

   Jyn at least thanked herself for her paranoia in that she refused to brave the crowds without something hiding her face. She may have ripped the sleeves off her hooded jacket about ten minutes after landing here, but at least it offered her some protection from faces like Cassian’s who may recognise her. The contacts she’d been trying to find – a source that claimed could get her a ride out of here – would simply have to wait. Jyn peered around the edge of the stand, watching as Cassian casually strolled the stalls on the other side of the square, one hand trying to subtly hold his shirt out away from his skin.

   She was about to make a run for it when she frowned. Why would the Alliance have any interest whatsoever in a random Kariah marketplace?

   Don’t do it, Jyn.

   She gritted her teeth. Damn it, she was doing it.

   Jyn was careful to approach from behind, eyes scanning the crowd. He had to be here for a reason, she was sure. Hell, it meant there could be spies, Imperials, literally anything hidden within the marketplace that she didn’t know about. When she was close enough that reaching out and calling his name would get his attention, however, she faltered slightly. She didn’t know whether he would even care to see her again. Jyn had met a lot of people over the years. People who wanted to kill her, people who wanted to use her, people who wanted to kidnap her and sell her and maybe occasionally help her out, but admittedly … she’d never met anyone who just wanted to know her, before she had met Cassian. He hadn’t even seemed to care much that she refused to tell him her real name, that she had resolutely said no to his offer to join the Alliance. He had been content to sit next to her in that bar and just … talk.

   He was the closest thing she had to a friend. Maybe she needed more of those.

   “The heat damn near kills, huh?”

   Cassian glanced around at her words. His eyes landed on her and a second later, the confusion turned to recognition. He froze right in the middle of the square, people rushing around them, though he didn’t seem to notice. “Well,” she added. “I know I’m dying, at least.”

   His eyes never left her face. “How anyone stands it is beyond me.”

   He was still the same. The warm accent, the scruffy beard, the hair that was slightly too long and hanging in his crinkled eyes, it was all him.

   “The native Karian’s have a natural tolerance for the heat, I know that,” she said. “And we thought freezing was bad.”

   “It’s good to see you,” Cassian said, his voice so genuine it made her inwardly shiver.

   She offered him a weak smile in return.

   “So are you following me, then?”

   “You think I would have come here willingly?” Jyn asked. “Please.”

   “So it is a complete and utter coincidence that we happened to both be here, on the same planet, at the same time?”

   “Scary, right?”

   Cassian almost laughed. “Come with me,” he said, reaching out and taking her arm. He pulled her alongside him and they fell into step next to each other, moving once more throughout the marketplace. The last time he’d said those words to her – come with me – had been on a street outside a dirty cantina, and she had rejected him completely. She’d spent the last six months trying not to think about what might have happened if she’d said yes. It would have been absolutely crazy to say yes! She worked hard to keep this life. She didn’t stay out of prison by throwing her heart out on the line for any suave intelligence officer who happened to stray into her life. She didn’t stay alive by opening up, she stayed alive by keeping her head down, by not drawing attention, by ignoring anyone who dared approach her unless they had something she could get from them. Cassian had offered her nothing that she was willing to take, so yes, it had been a good decision to say no to him. A rational decision. A safe decision …

   She hadn’t felt very safe, lately.

   “So the Alliance has been treating you well?” she offered.

   He stared at her a litle. “Are you actually making conversation?”

   “We don’t have drinks to hide behind this time,” she pointed out.

   No alcohol to blur the edges or help let down her guard. She was honestly trying. Cassian bumped her shoulder as they walked, though she couldn’t tell if it was accidentally or not. “Well, if you’re asking whether the Alliance enjoys sending me on these missions, the answer is definitely yes. They get a kick out of seeing me like this, I’m sure.”

   “And you wonder why I said no to joining.”

   “I wonder every day,” Cassian said.

   That statement almost stabbed her in the stomach, or at least that’s what it felt like, so she promptly ignored it. A large clock tower stood up in the middle of the square and she started leading Cassian towards it; not that the meagre shade it provided did much. It was almost just as bad, if not worse, in the shade, but at least there was less chance of their skin burning. They found a free spot at the base of the tower and Jyn pressed her back to the hot stone, moving until she sat on the dirty bricks beneath her. Cassian joined her and the hundreds of other people all huddled under the clock tower out of the suns.

   “So what’s your name now?” he asked her, talking to their feet. His shoulder was inches from hers.

   “Kestrel. But you can still call me Liana.”

   “That’s not fair,” Cassian argued. “You know my name.”

   “Your mistake.”

   “You know, I’m starting to get the feeling you’re afraid of something.”

   “Please,” she snorted. “You’ve seen me in a fight.”  

   “More than that,” Cassian turned his head to look at her, but she refused to meet his gaze. “I know that you are more than capable of firing a blaster. I know that someone shoots at you and you don’t back down. You aren’t scared of dying, at least.”

   “No one should be,” Jyn shrugged. “Dying is easy.”

   But truly, dying was easy. Sometimes, when she was tired, on the days when she’d had it rough, had enough, she knew that she would get reckless. If a shuttle was heading in her direction, maybe she would wait slightly too long to get out of its way. Maybe she dared one too many people to fight her, maybe she wouldn’t really mind so much if she got shot one day. When you were the only person you could rely on, when the whole galaxy wanted you dead … it was hard not to believe it.

   “Of course dying is easy,” Cassian said. “but we all die for different reasons.”

   “And for what reasons would you die?” Jyn asked, finally turning and meeting his eyes, the ones that she remembered could burn more than the triple suns above them. “Your rebellion? Would you die for them?”

   “If it meant the Empire would burn in hell, then yes,” Cassian said at once. “This is a war. It takes deaths to prevent deaths. Is that why you said no to joining? You don’t think the ideals of the Alliance justifies the amount of lives taken?”

   “No, I said no because …” but the words fizzled from her mouth, because honestly, saying them out loud just proved how pathetic she was. She hated the Empire, she hated them with all the loathing she could muster, but she also hated Saw Gerrera. She hated being that stupid, naïve 16 year old girl who had been so certain that he would come back for her, that she hadn’t been abandoned, clearly something had just happened to him, if he’s not coming then she needed to go rescue him, she needed to help him … he was gone. She had eventually left that bunker he’d told her to hide in, certain that he was in trouble and that was why he hadn’t come, only to find that his entire base had shipped out and had disappeared. He’d left her behind. He had told her to wait so he could just leave her to fend for herself.

   Stop it. Her brain screamed whenever these memories came back up again.

   (Yes, Saw had certainly left her with some rough beliefs about the rebellion).

   “I said no because maybe the rebellion hurts just as much as the Empire,” she said quietly.

   “Maybe for you. Not for everyone,” Cassian insisted immediately, but then he sighed. She could feel him watching her, as she sat there on the bricks, trying not to let him see her eyes stinging. “… what happened?” he added.

   “I lost everything.”

   “And that’s why you’re living like this now?”

   “Why I’m living like a homeless thief, you mean?” She laughed before swiping angrily at her eyes. “This is ridiculous,” she said. “I don’t even know you! You know nothing about me, and I’m talking about things that I haven’t spoken about out loud for at least 3 years–”

   “Then let’s talk about something else,” Cassian said. There was a slight pause in his voice then that confused her and she looked back to see him apparently stewing over his next words, as if he wasn’t quite sure whether to say them or not. Then, he steeled himself,

   “Actually, let’s do something else. Have dinner with me tonight.”

   She stared at him. He absolutely had to be kidding.

   “Are you nuts?”

   But Cassian just smiled slowly. “What, you’ll kiss me, but you won’t even let me buy you dinner?”

   Jyn felt her face flushing red, much to her irritation. She was glad to still be hiding behind her hood. “I hope you realise I don’t dress up for dinners.”

   “Wouldn’t expect anything else.”

   “You better be paying, because I have no money.”

   “Of course.”

   “And I’m bringing my blaster.”

   “Wouldn’t have anything less,” Cassian slowly clambered to his feet, wincing as his sweaty shirt clung to his skin. “Will I see you later, then?”

   Jyn climbed to her feet as well, ignoring the hand that he was holding out to her. “Guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” she answered, before turning and diving back into the burning sunshine.

   The temperature didn’t drop on Kariah just because the suns had set. If anything, the nights here were worse, as nothing was grosser than trying to sleep in sweat-soaked sheets. Most people slept outside on their roofs here, although Jyn just had an alleyway that she was currently calling home. She was absolutely serious in that she had nothing else to change into; her latest set of clothes had been stolen from under the nose of a sleeping washroom attendant. Cassian hadn’t specified a time or place to meet, but she went back to the clock tower on instinct when the ruby red of the last sun was just washing over the city, and sure enough, she spotted his tall frame waiting for her.

   This was the stupidest thing she’d ever done (even worse than kissing him).

   She had said too much earlier. She had gotten way too into her reasons for living this way, let him get in far too deep. She should be running, not letting him buy her dinner. But honestly, she hadn’t had a decent meal in months, and watching him stand there waiting with his hands shoved into his pant pockets and in a clean shirt, she very suddenly and desperately wanted to know how it might feel to later shove him up against the clock tower.

   Jyn shook her head. Keep it together.

   “Hey,” she called. “What’s somebody like you doing in a place like this?”

   Cassian glanced up and clearly tried not to grin.

   He hesitated outside the restaurant that he had apparently chosen. He gestured vaguely and began, “I’m not sure, but um–” only for Jyn to slap his arm away and claim if she couldn’t get at least three courses, she was calling him the worst date she’d ever had (she tried not to think about how this was basically the only date she’d ever had). “Seriously,” she eventually asked him over their table. She’d never heard of most of the menu options, but at least it didn’t taste bad. “The Alliance really must hate you if they’re sending you here, of all places.”

   “Thank you for putting that thought in my head,” Cassian shot her a look. Their table was thankfully secluded enough that their conversation would be hard to overhear by anyone, yet close enough to the kitchens that they could escape should something go awry. “Remember that trafficking ring I was investigating six months ago?”

   “It led you here?”

   “I’ve been trying to locate our missing recruits,” Cassian nodded. “That man we shot – he didn’t give away much.”

   “I take it you haven’t found them yet, then?”

   Cassian shook his head. “You haven’t heard anything, have you?”

   “How would I know?”

   “You’re the one who lives on the fringes of society – oh! Wait, I don’t mean that like …” She hadn’t been offended, but she appreciated him assuring her anyway. “It’s just … you see things, you hear things, that others pretend not to, or quickly look away from. You’re not scared to take notice.”

   But she was. Cassian thought he knew her, but he had no idea. All she was ever scared of was taking notice. If she finally looked up then someone else might see her, notice her in return. She kept her head down, it was how she survived, until that reckless day she had looked up under the lights of the bar.

   Cassian had noticed her. He made her heart pound whenever he looked at her like that.

   “I’ll – I’ll keep an eye out,” she offered, hoping he wouldn’t notice the way she was looking back at him. They hadn’t even hit dessert yet. “How did you know about this place?” she asked then, gesturing around them.

   “Oh,” Cassian said. “I was here yesterday, a lead that hit a dead end. But they have great wine, I was told.”

   “And we didn’t order any?”

   “The wine here is a lot stronger,” Cassian glanced at his plate. “I remembered you didn’t like it too strong.”

   Jyn bit her lip trying not to smile.

   They ate quietly for a few minutes. It was a kind of silence that she didn’t feel the need to punctuate with meaningless chatter, and it seemed that she and Cassian both felt comfortable with it. She watched him from the corner of her eye as they ploughed through the main course and finally got to dessert. No, he didn’t really know her, and she didn’t really know him, and it would be a terrible idea to try and remedy that, but he’d hit a nerve earlier at the clock tower. She was scared of a lot of things. She came off as brave and impenetrable, but truth was she honestly wasn’t. She had simply covered herself up so much that it was impossible to see.

   It was exhausting protecting yourself.

   Maybe … maybe she should let a little of herself through.

   “My name is Jyn,” she suddenly whispered.

   Cassian’s head snapped up so quickly from his dessert that he winced. “Sorry?”

   “Jyn. That’s … that’s my real name.”

   “Jyn,” Cassian repeated it slowly, his expression widening into a smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

   “I’m sorry that I won’t join your rebellion,” she said, voice even quieter. “I’ve spent so long not caring that I just …”

   “You’ve been hurt before,” Cassian guessed, softly. “By the rebellion, I mean.”

   “Yes.”

   He breathed in deeply. “Jyn, it’s ok,” he said. “I would never … I figure you don’t ever do something that you don’t want to. But I want you to know, whatever faction of the Alliance you encountered, whoever it was that hurt you, they were an anomaly. That is not what we are about, and I hope you realise that.”

   “I know.”

   “Do you … want to talk about it?”

   “No,” she said, quite suddenly and loudly that a couple several tables over actually turned in their direction. She cringed and added, “I’m sorry, sorry–”

   “No, no, it’s fine,” Cassian assured her.

   Jyn turned to the other table once more, hoping with some embarrassment that the couple weren’t still staring at them. This conversation was getting way too personal as it was. However, if her heart was pounding before, it was nothing compared to the race it burst into when she noticed the eyes still in their direction.

   “Cassian.”

   “I swear, it’s ok–”

   “No, Cassian – the table over there–” she whispered, jerking her head. “They are watching us.”

   Cassian subtly followed her gaze, a frown etching his face. “I don’t recognise them. Do you?”

   “They are local, as far as I can tell,” She glanced around them and with a sinking feeling, noticed it under the table. “Cassian, I think they’ve spotted your blaster on your ankle, it’s showing where your pants have ridden up–”

   Cassian swore in that first language of his, moving to tug his pants down. The couple hastily went back to their meal, but it seemed that the damage had been done. Their waiter had noticed now, and was in serious discussion with who looked like their boss behind the bar. Jyn knew Kariah was strict about their weapon possession, and she certainly couldn’t afford another arrest, especially on a foreign planet she was trying desperately to get off of. “We need to get out of here,” she said at once, dropping her spoon. Her dessert was staring wistfully at her half-finished, but it wasn’t worth it.  

   “Are you sure?”

   “I’ve been living among these people long enough to know that we’re about 2 seconds away from having the police called on us,” Jyn hissed. She noticed a break in the waiter’s attention and she lunged across the table, grabbing Cassian’s hand. “Quick!”

   Turns out that the kitchen doors had been an escape route they’d needed after all. They suddenly burst through the doors, startling chefs and causing dishes to go crashing as they raced through the pots and pans. They stumbled out into a back alley with a flurry of shouts after them, hands still clutching each other’s and glancing around frantically at the blackness that greeted them, the dark, oppressive heat that had hit as soon as they’d left the cooled inside.

   “Which way–?”

   “Come on!” Jyn cried, practically dragging Cassian after her. She knew roughly where they were, and by the time she’d managed to locate the right alleyway, the voices that had followed them were far in the distance.

   “Where–?”

   “Shhh!” Jyn slammed him probably a little too hard into the alley wall, pressing him into the darkness with a hand and trying to listen. They were far away enough that she thought if they stayed silent, they wouldn’t be found. The police wouldn’t be bothered straying too far from the restaurant in this heat. “I think we’ll lose them, we just need to stay quiet.”

   But Cassian was trying not to laugh.

   “I think I know a way–”

   His hands had slid to her waist. He moved and before she could think, he had crushed his lips to hers. I’m not sure this is going to help us keep quiet, she wanted to say. She responded in earnest, skipping the niceties and opening her mouth to him. It was so unlike their previous kiss in the street. It wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t regretful and full of everything they might have had. This was taking advantage of their time, however little of it there might be. She allowed herself to mould to his body, pressing against him, winding her arms around his neck and into his hair. It was reckless and stupid, but she’d never felt less scared in her life.

   She’d never felt so alive.

   It went on longer than the first kiss, but still not long enough. She would have continued (maybe hitch a leg around him, maybe let him shove her against the wall a little) but adrenaline was still pumping through her and she needed to know they were safe. She pulled away to scan their alley, to listen, all while trying to ignore the way Cassian’s lips had moved to her neck. “I – I think we’re clear–” she whispered.

   “Good,” Cassian muttered against her skin. Heat engulfed them as his hands started to get a little braver, wander a bit further. “Then let’s get out of here–”

   “Go where?”

   “I have a ship,” Cassian practically growled, sending a shudder through her. Much to her disappointment, he abruptly backed off, pushing her gently away so that he could move, bring a comlink to his mouth (god, that mouth), “K-2 – yes, yes, I’m coming back now, but I need you to leave–”

   Jyn watched, completely torn. Most of her screamed to just go with him. Go back to his ship, wherever it might be. She’d broken enough of her own rules, she might as well.

   Just go, go and be loved for one night.

   But from the look on his face, she knew. She knew that that wasn’t going to be enough for him. He had apparently fallen as much as she had, despite her past, despite her reluctance to share, despite how little time they’d known each other, despite everything, it seemed. This man had the potential to love her, and she was utterly terrified of it. She knew without a doubt that she would leave before the first sun ever came up, and she wouldn’t do that to him, couldn’t.

   “I can’t.”

   She winced at the look on his face.

   He slowly lowered the comlink. “I … if I did something …” he began.

   “No,” she said firmly. “no, you didn’t. But while I could give you tonight, I couldn’t give you tomorrow, and I don’t think you’d be ok with that.”

   Cassian sighed. She was thankful more than ever for the cover of darkness, not having to meet his eyes. “I honestly thought I’d never see you again,” he said. “I never imagined we’d come across each other on a random planet like this, so far from where we first met.”

   “Well if it happened once,” Jyn whispered. She felt herself take a step closer, moving back into his space. “maybe it will happen again.”

   “Until that day, then?”

   He didn’t touch her, but she could feel him close enough that his breath tickled her cheek. Maybe until that day. Maybe until a time she wasn’t so broken. Maybe until she wasn’t scared anymore, if that ever happened …

   “Until that day.”

[thesteadydietofeverything]

Video Game Year in Review: Honorable Mentions

When I compiled the list of games I played this year that didn’t make it to my top 10, and weren’t remasters, remakes, or re-releases (see previous list), the number came out to just over 10, with the few over the 10 spot either just not being particularly remarkable (Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion) or games that I put so little actual time into that I really didn’t get the chance to form coherent thoughts about them (Prey: Mooncrash and BattleTech, both examples of types of games I want to resolve to not be so afraid of playing in 2019).

So the remaining 10 that I did want to mention are an interesting bunch. Not all of them are games that I loved. A decent amount of them are games I had serious issues with. But they all had something to them, something that made those issues that I had all the more frustrating, because it prevented me from dismissing them outright. My feelings about these games are varied enough that I wanted to rank them, so I suppose this list could just be called “Reese’s Top 20 games of 2018: 20-11,” or, “The Problem Children,” or something, but “Honorable Mentions” works fine for me.

10. The Messenger - Though I have never played Ninja Gaiden, and therefore don’t really have any nostalgia for the type of game this dual-8-bit/16-bit/action-platformer/Metroidvania was clearly going for, the early parts were executed pretty damn well. Tight controls, great music, some very fun and memorable boss fights, gameplay that was challenging but not, I imagine, anywhere near as rage-inducingly challenging as the games it was based on. Those initial four or five hours or so felt enjoyable and complete enough that the fact that I fell off pretty soon after the game pulls a very significant aesthetic and gameplay shakeup not enough to make me hate the game. As cool as a concept as it is to literally jump back and forth between different eras of game design, the ���Metroidvania” part of this game was filled with the shit that tends to frustrate me about that style of game - aimless wandering and tedious backtracking. A very interesting experiment that, for me, didn’t quite pay off, but the effort produced a pretty unique game.

9. Iconoclasts - As far as its gameplay goes, this game is almost the inverse of The Messenger’s brand of Metroidvania, highlighting all the things that I actually can love about the genre. Sure there’s backtracking, but the layout of the levels is thoughtful and inspired enough that it rarely feels tedious: I often found myself very excited to gain my new ability and revisit a previous area because - just like the best Metroid games - I know exactly where I can use it, have been wondering about it for a while, and can finally see what’s on the other side. What ended up bogging down the experience of this game for me was the surprising emphasis on story and long-winded dialogue scenes. While I definitely really liked a handful of characters, the game’s increasing willingness throughout its run-time to put verbose speeches in all of their mouths wore a bit thin, given how thoroughly okay the general plot was. Still, game has some of the absolute most gorgeous pixel animation I’ve ever seen.

8. Monster Hunter World - As it seemed to be for many, the streamlined (though still irritatingly idiosyncratic) systems management, lush world and creature design, and conveniently slow part of the year that it released all made this the first Monster Hunter game I was willing to fully commit to. For a while, the game really won me over - experimenting with weapons was deeply satisfying, and the care and evocative detail in the designs felt inspired and compelling. I even played a bit of multiplayer with friends, and had a lot of fun with it, despite how generally committed I tend to be to single player experiences. After a while, though, I stopped being wowed by the animations and controls to start to be bothered by how careless the game seemed to be about its colonial fantasy, what a generally destructive force you and your team are on this beautiful world. It’s not as though this isn’t something that was obvious from the beginning, it’s just that for a while there, I figured it must actually be going somewhere with it, that there must be some commentary it was building toward. What I was met with was disappointing silence, and LOTS of grinding.

7. Red Dead Redemption 2 - I felt a lot of ways about this game, some of which I managed to capture in the review I wrote a couple months ago. There’s so much about this game that I hold against it and Rockstar, both surrounding it (the abusive culture of crunch in its development, their lack of care in getting an indigenous and/or black actor to play Charles) and within the game itself (the stretching of a decent story to an absurd length, controls so clunky they often broke the role-playing the rest of the game was so good at encouraging). But the things that I loved about this game - the stunningly atmospheric world, the complicated and nuanced character dynamics in the camp, the ways in which it allows one to experience and engage with its details - all stuck with me as well. This game represents so much of both what I want games to be going forward and what I never want them to be again.

6. Minit - Weird as it sounds, as much as I liked this game, my main gripe with it was the primary mechanic around which it was based. I loved the minimalist black-and-white art style: the way the white lines shined on my HDR TV is an excellent example of how “simple” graphical styles can take advantage of modern technology as well as any graphically demanding powerhouse. The world was a joy to explore, a miniature Zelda with a unique sense of humor. I honestly just never got why I was only allowed to enjoy it a minute at a time. The game seemed to do little to justify its central hook, and most of the time it ended up feeling more like a hindrance than a meaningful game changer. Nevertheless, Minit gave me a short, sweet experience that stuck with me more than I expected it to.

5. God of War - Having never really liked the previous games in this series, I went into this one with fairly low expectations, despite the near-universal praise it was getting. The story really didn’t do much for me. The father/son dynamic was fine, but hardly the innovative step forward in video game narratives many seemed to claim it was. Kratos is still an inherently ridiculous character, no matter how much depth they try to give him in this game, though I did thoroughly enjoy Christopher Judge’s performance. The real hook of this game, outside of its very pretty visuals, is its really just superb combat. They nearly entirely did away with the hacking and slashing of the previous games, and created a deliberate, thrilling system of combat juggling. There are a decent amount of moves at your disposal, but it never feels like an overwhelming amount, and the balancing act you can achieve in utilizing all of them properly results in just some of the most satisfying combat I’ve ever experienced in a game.

4. All Our Asias - This was the first of several lo-fi 3D polygonal games I played this year - the others will show up in my top 10 - and I’m just so excited about the coming wave of game developers inspired by 90’s PS1-era aesthetics, an era I’m personally much more nostalgic for than the still-prevailing 16-bit pixel art of many indie games. This is probably also the weirdest of that style of game that I played this year (and given what one of the others is, that’s saying something), an essay in video game format, an exploration of the bizarre nature of memory, told through abstract shapes and landscapes. Creator Sean Han Tani tells a wonderfully personal story here about racial identity and complicated family relationships, by navigating the conceptual framework of your player character’s father. It’s a singular experience that I still think about often, nearly a year after playing it.

3. Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle - Donkey Kong Adventure - I’ll admit that my time with Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle last year was my first real dip into tactics gaming, an experience that allowed me to gingerly step my foot into some deeper water this year (some of which I discovered was still too deep for me, like BattleTech). But for as easy as the first half of that game was, I maintain that the back half was surprisingly challenging. This year’s DLC, Donkey Kong Adventure, is not challenging. Donkey Kong is so overpowered it feels like it must have been a mistake, and the way that he can combine attacks with other characters is just ridiculous. But, weirdly enough, that’s part of what I enjoyed about this addition, a fairly breezy few-hour adventure where the most fun comes from seeing just how badly you can fuck some Rabbids up in a single move. Having Donkey Kong grab an enemy, throw him at another enemy, hit both plus a nearby enemy his banana boomerang, then having Rabbid Cranky charge into all three of them and blast them with his shotgun-esque Boombow never really gets old, at least for the well paced 8 or 9 hours that the game lasts.

2. Dead Cells - An endless, side-scrolling action platformer with tight-as-hell, ultra satisfying combat, beautiful art design, AND it was made by team of French socialists with no bosses who all get paid the same? I mean, fuck yeah. Dead Cells, a game that I originally played a bit in Early Access last year, and enjoyed so much that I decided to wait until the official release before truly delving into it, is a game that largely plays like the dream it sounds like on paper. I’m not sure if I’ve ever played at 2D game with combat as good. Generally, I’m not huge on run-based games, and did hit some walls in this game where I just felt like my own ineptitude was getting in the way of my enjoyment, and the game wasn’t giving me much between runs to make me feel like I was actually making any progress. I still haven’t actually beat it, but it’s become my default palate cleanser game that I play a few rounds of in between other games or while listening to podcasts or music, so I’m still plucking away at it. I’ll get there someday.

1. Return of the Obra Dinn - I enjoyed this game so, so much, even if sometimes more on a theoretical level than a practical one. The style is impeccable - I really will never get tired of the brief tease of opaque, incidental dialogue or sound, followed by the sudden explorable tableau of death(s), soundtracked by haunting strings. The gameplay is inspired - I’ve had few gaming experiences in recent memory as fulfilling as any time the little music que popped up after I solved a death, confirming that I had gotten three deductions correct. I have to admit, though, that those moments were spread further out than I would have wished. Part of this is just happenstance - I didn’t realize until quite a few hours into this game that by zooming in on someone, you’ll match them to their picture, something that would have undoubtedly saved me a lot of frustrating time in which I was grappling with trying to figure out whose fuzzy faces were whose. Nevertheless, I felt like I was too often given too little information, and had to take guesses between one of a few possible suspects, many of which were informed by racial assumptions that made me actively uncomfortable. This was, no doubt, part of the point, so it’s hard for me to hold it against the game, but it regardless did lead to a pretty exasperated final couple hours of play. Despite these complaints, its hard for me to think of this game as anything other than a wildly successful achievement - innovative, inspired, both intelligently designed and remarkably trusting in its player’s intelligence. Maybe a little too trusting, in my case.

[jenmedsbookreviews]

So. Funny old week. Started off in a rather unspectacular fashion. Went to work. Did work type stuff. Got bored. Rinse and repeat on Tuesday. Well, Health and Safety meeting on Tuesday so I was mainly depressed by lunchtime, but still relatively uneventful. Flying visit to Dublin on Wednesday (literal as it’s a long walk from my house) in which I managed to set the Irish budget (mostly). Go me. On the plus side I got a lot of reading in at the airports and on the plane so it wasn’t all bad.

Thursday… what to say about Thursday? Well, first up, I was only in work for half a day which is always nice. I had the afternoon booked off to attend the book launch of Lloyd Otis’s debut novel, Dead Lands. Great book which I’ll be reviewing very soon and which, coincidentally, I was actually reading on my way to London. Arriving in London, me and my sister decided to treat ourselves to some wonderful Danish pastries at Ole & Steen on Haymarket. If you like Danish pastry (and I mean the real deal not the soggy stuff you find festering in the cake department fo supermarkets) then you could do worse than visit this place. I’m not being paid to say this, not at all. I just happen to think their food is lush and very reasonably priced for a central London Cafe/Restaurant.

So, one lovely toastie and cake fest later, Mandie and are are headed to the nearby (overpriced) giant sweet shop so that she can buy her friend a stick of pink rock. It’s a thing… Don’t ask. While I’m loitering in the entrance trying not to get enraged by the prices they are charging (£10 for a box of Oreo cookies!!!) I decide to check my emails. Oh my giddy Aunts. I won’t lie. I know I must have looked like a complete div. I know this as while I was reading one particular email I was stood staring out at Piccadilly Circus literally opened mouthed in shock, waiting for Mandie to join me and check that I wasn’t actually seeing things. Please note – I am getting very old and I wasn’t wearing my glasses so I could quite honestly have been reading anything. But no. I wasn’t seeing things. What I was reading was real.

I had received an e-mail from The Writer Awards, telling me that I had been named as one of the top nominated book blogs. Apparently they had been seeking nominations and from 1000+ recommendations, my little old blog had been selected as one of the best. Now, being honest, and being blind, I hadn’t read the whole email and I am always cautious about selecting links in emails as you never know if it’s a virus. I’d seen mention of top 33 so I figured number 30 wouldn’t be bad, but being the sceptical soul that I am, I googled The Writer Awards rather than followed the link. Sure enough a site showed up a the top of Google and I clicked through to find the Blogger Awards near the top of teh site. As I started clicking through the list, I really expected to be scrolling through for hours. Imagine my surprise when at No.10 I found Jen Med’s Book Reviews. No. 10!!!

I double checked the e-mail and sure enough there it was. Ranked no. 10. Of 1000+ blogs. And why – well apparently this little weekly mind melt is one of the reasons. Who knew. I thought it was just a good way to fill a gap in my blogging diary 😀

For those of you reading this on a phone, what this says is

This blog nicely weaves in the author’s own adventures through weekly recaps. It’s like you’re following a bookish journey from book tours to recaps to the reviews themselves. The creator’s personality really shines through!

Now personally I believe that they missed the word disorder out of the above statement but let’s look at the facts: Weekly adventures from book tours (Dead Lands – check), recaps (look below – check) and the reviews themselves (see the bottom of the post for links to all of last weeks posts – check). Well. Yep. That’s me then.

All joking aside, I am still rather stunned to have received the email. I’ve only been blogging for around 15/16 months, and in all honesty, only really been pushing myself to take it seriously since last November (a post a day for months now excluding Christmas) so this is absolutely amazing. Whoever it was that nominated me, thank you. It really means a lot. I knew nothing about this, can’t really understand how I got here, but at least I know that all of my hard work (well reading and occasional rambling) does mean something. I often feel that although I have a bias towards crime fiction, my blog is neither one thing or another, and so it feels like it’s harder to build a following that it might be for a dedicated crime fiction or Sci-fi/fantasy focused blog for example. And anyone who knows me will testify that being recognised for my ‘personality’ has seldom been a good thing in the past. 😉 So, for a gal without a gimmick I’m feeling kind of proud.

Enough of the fluffiness… Back to Thursday night. What an evening. So great to see Lloyd again and to be able to help him celebrate his success. I have no doubt that Dead Lands is going to do really well and that he has an amazing future in front of him. I first met Lloyd at Crimefest which seems forever ago now – long I’m sure for Lloyd – but it is so good to be able to support him on his journey, even if it’s just by way of a review. Good luck, Lloyd.

So. Back to my week. Friday was all work. Boo hiss… Any way. Moving on.

Book post wise – well Monday saw my last Mr Men Christmas book arrive so I am all set for Christmas month on the blog. Sort of. And, you know how Thursday was a pretty awesome kind of a day? Well what I didn’t mention is that when I popped home at lunch before catching my train I was greeted by the Post Man bringing me a parcel. A bookish parcel. A very exciting bookish parcel. It was only Now We Are Dead by Stuart MacBride which I’ll be reviewing for First Monday Crime in November. Stuart will be appearing alongside authors Vaseem Khan, Simon Booker and Elodie Harper, with the panel charied by Barry Forshaw. I was lucky enough to attend October’s panel and I’m sure as heck going back for the next one. Maybe I’ll see you there.

Book purchase wise – well aside from the signed copy of Dead Lands (whoop whoop), I’ve been a very good girl. I only bought 4 books. Just 4. 2 preorders, Helen Phifer’s Dying Breath and Susi Holliday’s The Deaths of December, and two books recommended in Ann Girdharry’s recent Book Love post as they sounded right up my street, LaRose by Louise Errdich and Red Blood, Yellow Skin by Linda L.T. Baer.

Netgalley saw me downloading two titles again, both for blog tours. First up Stephen Edger’s Dying Day and also Kierney Scott’s Now You See Me. I also received an ARC of Jennifer Gilmour’s new book (more on that tomorrow).

  And aside from some teeny tiny audible purchases, namely Elly Griffiths’ The Chalk Pit, Val McDermid’s Insidious Intent and B.A. Paris’s Behind Closed DoorsBehind Closed Doors that is absolutely it.

B.Reading wise, I read just the four books this week. Been busy and in schock 😉

Books I have read

Zenka by Alison Brodie

Devious, ruthless, and loyal.

Zenka is a capricious Hungarian with a dark past.

When cranky London mob boss, Jack Murray, saves her life she vows to become his guardian angel – whether he likes it or not. Happily, she now has easy access to pistols, knives and shotguns.

Jack discovers he has a son, Nicholas, a male nurse with a heart of gold. Problem is, Nicholas is a wimp.

Zenka takes charges. Using her feminine wiles and gangland contacts, she will make Nicholas into the sort of son any self-respecting crime boss would be proud of. And she succeeds!

Nicholas transforms from pussycat to mad dog, falls in love with Zenka, and finds out where the bodies are buried – because he buries them. He’s learning fast that sometimes you have to kill, or be killed.

As his life becomes more terrifying, questions have to be asked:

How do you tell a mob boss you don’t want to be his son?

And is Zenka really who she says she is?

I read Alison’s last book, Brake Failure last year and really enjoyed the blend of humour and action. Based around an East End crime boss who is trying to get to know his son for the first time, this book is packed full of laughs, action and the odd body dump. It had me chuckling all the way through at the series of mishaps and misunderstandings. And god help Olga!!! You can see my review next week and in the meantime you can order the book here.

…

Dead Lands by Lloyd Otis

The stunning debut from thriller writer Lloyd Otis. 

When a woman’s body is found a special team is called in to investigate and prime suspect Alex Troy is arrested for the murder. Desperate to remain a free man, Troy protests his innocence, but refuses to use his alibi. Trying to protect the woman he loves becomes a dangerous game – questions are asked and suspicions deepen. 

When the prime suspect completes a daring escape from custody, DI Breck and DS Kearns begin the hunt. Breck wants out of the force while Kearns has her own agenda and seeks revenge – and a right-wing march provides an explosive backdrop to their hunt for Troy. 

Lloyd Otis brings a startling account of the past back to life over a burgeoning ’70s landscape, and delivers a thrilling piece of crime fiction that will excite any fan of the genre.

What a debut. Full of suspicion, tension there is a ruthless and brutal killer on the loose but is he the man the police suspect? Set in 1970’s London I loved the freedom that this brings to the narrative as well as adding to the tension as you know that the police cannot rely on the forensics to get their man. So will justice prevail? Well – read for yourself to find out. I have and I’ll be reviewing in a little over a week for the blog tour. However, the book is available now and you can bag a copy here.

…

A Cosy Candlelit Christmas by Tilly Tennant

All singleton Isla wants for Christmas is to be left in peace, but a surprise trip to the Alps means there’s a chance for romance in every snowflake that falls…

It’s the week before Christmas and Isla McCoy has just received an unexpected gift: a letter announcing she is due a life-changing inheritance, but only if she’s willing to make amends with the father who abandoned her. 

She has absolutely no intention of forgiving him, but who could resist an all-expenses-paid trip to the French resort of St Martin-de-Belleville? 

There she meets smooth-talking Justin and nerdy glaciologist Sebastian; two very different men, with two very different agendas. Torn between her head and her heart, Isla finds herself utterly lost in a winter wonderland of her own feelings. 

Surrounded by twinkling candles and roaring log-fires, Isla’s resolve finally begins to melt. But will she learn how to reconnect, not only with a whole new family, but with herself and her heart?

A gorgeously heart-warming festive read to help spark a little romance in those long winter nights. Perfect for fans of Jane Linfoot, Debbie Johnson and Jenny Colgan.

The difficult situation of meeting her estranged father is what greets Isla this Christmas. But maybe that’s not all. In an idyllic ski-resort setting, with crisp white snow and beautiful scenery all around, could love also be on the cards. Released on 26th October, I’ll be spilling the beans on this book really soon, in the meantime you can order a copy right here.

…

The Lost Child by Patricia Gibney

They placed me in here and threw away the key. I look down at the gown they’ve put on me. I want my own clothes. I don’t know how long I’ve been here.

An elderly woman is found murdered in her own home, and Detective Lottie Parker and her partner Detective Boyd are called in to investigate. When they discover that the victim’s daughter is missing as well, they start to fear for the safety of the whole family…

Two days later as a nearby house is set on fire and with the body count rising, Lottie and her team begin to unpick a web of secrets and lies, as the murders seem to link back to a case investigated by Lottie’s father before he took his own life. 

With little knowledge of what really happened to her father, Lottie knows this is a case that could give her some answers. But how much does she want to know? And how far is Lottie prepared to dig to uncover the truth?

The Lost Child is a thrilling page-turner from the bestselling author of The Missing Ones and The Stolen Girls that will have you guessing right to the very last page. Perfect for fans of Rachel Abbott, Angela Marsons and Robert Dugoni.

Book three in the Lottie Parker series sees our troubled Irish Detective investigating a murder and brutal attack which could well have links back to her own father. With her personal life as complicated as ever, can Lottie keep her head clear enough to get to the truth? You can find out when the book is released on 27th October if you preorder the book right here.

…

I’ll take that as I’ve been busy this week. Blogging wise, another really full on week of reviews and book love which you can follow right here.

The Unexpected Inheritance of Inspector Chopra

#BookLove: Anne Williams

Snowflakes, Iced Cakes and Second Chances

#BookLove: Ann Girdharry

Cover Reveal: Conrad Jones

Press Release: Heywood Hill Competition

Her Last Secret by Barbara Copperthwaite

The Fallen Agent by Oliver Tidy

Snare by Lilja Sigurdardottir

The week ahead is just as busy with a mammoth number of blog tours. First up today is Zoe Sharp’s Fox Hunter; on Wednesday is The Second Son by Andy Blackman, Thursday is Lily Graham’s Christmas At Hope Cottage and Friday is Sharon Maas’ The Girl From The Sugar Plantation. I’ll also have book love posts from Joanne Robertson of My Chestnut Reading Tree and Meggy Roussel of Chocolate’n’Waffles and my second Inspector Chopra review. Busy, busy, busy – just how I like it.

Adventure wise – well nothing bookish but I’ve got to travel to Manchester and Edinburgh this week to deliver some project training so who know what I’ll listen to along the way.

Have a fabulous week of bookishness all.

JL  (award winning book bloggist  )

Rewind, recap: Weekly update w/e 15/10/17 So. Funny old week. Started off in a rather unspectacular fashion. Went to work. Did work type stuff.