#15x18 fic

[souporsaladnatural]

Honesty Castiel's arc still feels so incomplete to me. Yes he got to confess to Dean and tell him how good and loved he is, which is huge for him. I don't want to downplay the significance of that and how much it meant to Cas. But what about the fact that he died doing the same thing he's always done by sacrificing himself? What about how he never learned to open up about his problems and to let his family help him because he still didn't want to burden them, which is why no one ever knew about his deal with The Empty? What about how he never really understood and accepted how much he was loved and wanted? I mean admittedly I'm still only in season 13, so I'm sure there's so many details and nuances I'm missing here, but idk. Even outside of reuniting with dean his character growth just doesn't feel done. I mean Dean dying the way he always thought he would, young on a hunt with no chance of a happy ending, is horrible and unsatisfying and I hate it. I don't see why Cas dying how HE always thought he would, happily self sacrificed at the altar of Dean Winchester with no chance of a happy ending, is much better.

[bowmasterjo]

has anyone good destiel fic recs that take place post 15x18?

I’m constantly searching for new ones, but lately I don’t seem to find any that tickle the right part of my brain.

[unanimous-anonymous]

A digital piece from 2021 done for a DCBB season 15 fix it fic. This is Cas pulling Dean’s ass off that damn rebar 🥲🥲🥲🥲 Lots I would change about this now, but I still love the highlight of Cas’ face.

Wish I had more patience for digital works — my setup sucks 😂

[aventuras-de-andre]

i always feel terrible reading destiel fics written before november of 2020 because oh baby. baby girl. you had no idea. it fully reads like the found footage bit in horror movies or a blog filmed right before a natural disaster.

[theangelshavethebox]

I need more Insane Dean after Cas' confession. I want to read fics where Sam finds him breaking his own ribs because he's convinced the sigils are the only thing preventing Cas from finding him, coming home. Just like insane

[whenitcomestodeath]

My boy deserved to hear this again and again and again! Sksks

The Golden apples of the Sun by intothesilentland

[youchangedmedestiel]

You don't know how to write a fix it fic after episode 15x18 "Despair"? Let me help you a little bit (well it's more like let Jensen help you with one of his songs):

Dean would still hope deep deep deep down that Cas would come back because he always did. He came back once from the Empty maybe he can do it again.

"How far will you go You should know You'll be on my mind Said you were leavin' But never said when you'd be comin' back home and I can't wait another day"

But Dean would also miss him and feel miserable without him. He would feel empty and would no longer want to live.

"Ride with me Round the lakeside Got a raincoat and a veil It's been so long since you went away Took all of your lovin' and left me with nothin' and When you go What a shame"

And Dean would think that he deserved to lose Cas and that it was his fault the angel died. He would remember all those memories and wouldn't believe he didn't see Cas's love for him. He, who always thought his love was unrequited, would realize how wrong he was.

"Maybe I deserved it To be left this way I'm not sure How I was so blind"

Dean would want Cas's love back, would want Cas back. But if he comes back he might become insane from the fear to lose him again or simply because he will be consumed by this love or just that he would lose his mind if Cas had to keep his love for himself again (lots of possibilities for this one).

"All I know's that if you return it And kept it here to stay I'd lose my mind I'd lose my mind"

Despite the lack of will to live, despite thinking this is what he deserves, despite the fear, despite all that, he would try anything to get him back from the Empty. He would go to the end of the world for him.

"Cause you know I'd go to the end of the world for you To the end of the world for you"

[emeraldsummers]

Thinking about how Cas must have been so excited when he heard Dean was finally in heaven, only for his heart to shatter when he realized that Dean didn't live the life Cas wanted for him, and instead died young.

[dirigibleplumbing]

lil poorly edited preview of my choose-your-own-adventure destiel fic...

[deancaspinefest]

Don't forget me when I'm gone

Author: andimeantittosting | Artist: suninjang Posting on Sunday February 26

Dean's life after defeating Chuck is mostly good. If only Cas hadn't taken off again on some kind of angel business. And if only Dean could stop having nightmares about Cas with tears in his eyes as he's swallowed up by black goo. When Cas fights his way out of the Empty and comes back home, he expects things to be awkward with Dean after his confession, but he's not prepared for a Dean who acts as if Cas's latest death never happened at all.

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

“Cas, don’t do this.” Dean wakes up with a start. The Dean Cave is dark, the movie long since ended. “What the hell?” he rasps. The dream won’t leave his head. A relentless pounding, Cas smiling beatifically, tears streaming down his face, saying words that Dean’s longed to hear, but no, not like this. The wall opening, something black coming through… He feels almost sick. Hastily,  he shoves the last few pieces of popcorn into his mouth to settle his stomach. There’s no beer to wash it down. The empty bottle, which he’d left upright, now lies on its side on the floor, the last few drops soaking into the rug. Dean’s no stranger to nightmares. How could he be, with all the things he’s seen and done? But this isn’t an ordinary nightmare. There are too many horrors in his past for his subconscious to need to dream up new ones. And this—this never happened. “What the hell?” he repeats. Cas is safe, he reminds himself. He’s safe. He’s fine. Sure, he’s off with his angel buddies, but he’s a big boy. He can take care of himself. Dean pulls out his phone. 2:43 a.m. Long after polite calling hours, but then Cas is an angel. He doesn’t sleep. The phone rings and rings, and then Cas’s voice comes over the line—the message Dean made him record in Dodge City, on their first case after Lucifer had killed him. Dean had been thrilled to have him back, and even more thrilled to hear him dryly repeat, “Howdy, partner. Leave a message,” even as he rolled his eyes. The memory still makes Dean smirk a little, even as his heart drops to get the recording. But it’s fine, he reminds himself. Cas probably doesn’t get a signal in Heaven, or wherever he is. He leaves a message. “Hey, Cas. This is Dean. Just checking in. I—we haven’t heard from you in a while, buddy. I had to watch Raiders on my own, and it wasn’t the same. So, uh, get your ass home soon, take a real vacation, ‘cause you deserve it, and I miss you. We all miss you, I mean. But, I—Yeah. Get home, or give me a call at least...”

[continue reading on Ao3 on Sunday February 26]

[hitmeupaep]

Little Post 15x18 Thing I Wrote

On a table etched with the names of loved ones lost, Sam finds Dean passed out, surrounded by beer bottles and a closed laptop. If there was one thing Sam knew for certain, it was that Dean would drink himself away first, save the world second.

“Jesus Dean, you're a mess,” Sam says shaking Dean awake and throwing away bottles “I have a lead on what to do about Chuck”

“Forget it” Dean murmurs as he awakes, eyes swollen and burned by blue light and tears

Sam pauses in shock and looks at Dean, he can't place it but whatever is going on with him feels different than their usual dread and defeat 

“Forget it? Are you insane?” He watches as Dean gets up and walks away, putting his hand to his eyes, “I get this is hard but we don't have time for one of your week-long binges” Sam spits out

Dean, back to Sam, replies “I said forget it Sam, this isn't a binge. We lost, just take it and move on” 

“Move on? the entire world is ending Dean get your head out of your ass” 

Dean turns to face Sam, eyes wet and face red with rage “It already did Sam” he yells “It ended 30 years ago when Chuck killed Mom and started all of this, it ended when he killed Jess to bring you back into this hellhole and he ended it again when he took Cas, so please tell me what the fuck you are still fighting for?” Dean spits out, chest heaving and body tense 

Sam sees Dean's rage and returns it without missing a beat “I'm fighting for us. I'm fighting for everything we lost, all those people that died because of us, I'm fighting for Cas and Mom and Jack and Eillen, what the fuck are you doing?

“Don't be an idiot Sam, none of that is real” Dean admits from a defeated come-down of rage. Rage turning to pain in seconds “All of it, everything we are and all the people we have loved are because of Chuck”

“Not Cas” Sam whispers into the silent room

Dean tenses at the name, turning away from his brother again

“He was real. You two were real”

Dean puts his hands to his head, trying to breathe in whatever alcohol he has left in his system so he doesn't have to think about this all again

“You owe it to him to fight, he saved you once, now it’s your turn”

Dammit, if only Dean knew how, he would charge into the empty and fix this

“What did he tell you when he first saved you? Good things do happen? Well than prove him right” Sam shouts, moving himself closer to Dean “What the fuck are you so afraid of?”

“Losing dammit” Dean screams out kicking the table leg

Sam stumbles back

“You say all of this and it sounds great but than what? We beat god? Not fucking likely”

Deans words sound like anger but Sam knows his brother well enough to know they come from something much darker “We have to try or else everything we did, everything Cas did, was for nothing”

“Don’t” Dean demands, pointing his fingers at Sam, like a threat

Sam doesn't back down, there's only one way to fix this and its both of them beating Chuck “You know it’s true dean, he saved you cause he knew you could stop chuck”

Sam's words lose their venom, and instead return to a little brother pleading to be heard

“He saved me cause he loves me” Dean confesses like it's the hardest secret he has ever kept 

Sam watches Dean go from angry to sad to angry to broken all in the matter of seconds “what?”

Dean exhales like a suicide note “He loved me. and i fucked up, so there’s no fight anymore Sam. we lost” 

“Losing Cas can’t be the end Dean” Sam says reaching for his brother

“Well it is. We lost our big win, the ace in our sleeves whatever you wanna call it, and know we have no shot beating chuck, so just drop it” Dean says grabbing the closest bottle and walking off into the bunker.

Followed only by the shadow of a grinning God

[certain-blue-eyes]

Cas wakes up in Dean's room in the bunker. Dean is sitting at one side of the bed and holds Castiel's hand. When Castiel stirs, Dean looks up. He looks very tired, but as soon as he sees the blue of Castiel's eyes again, his whole face lits up.

"Heya, Cas." Dean says and smiles.

"Hello, Dean." Cas answered in his deep voice and he can see that Dean began to shiver. "Dean-"

"Cas-" They say at the same time, and then they both laugh shortly. But it's over soon and a deep sadness comes back to Dean's eyes. By seeing that, Cas has to swallow twice as hard as usual. "Cas, buddy, we really need to talk about that goodbye. I mean, what the hell was that? You can't just say something big like you did there and then just disappear."

"Yes, Dean, maybe we need to talk about that goodbye but I have also a question?!" He looks at Dean. "Why am I back? The Empty said it would be final this time."

"What now, Cas? You don't think you deserve to be saved?!" Cas can see the tears in Dean's eyes. He tries to lighten the mood.

"Dean. You can't use my words against me." He tries to laugh but tears are running down Dean's face now. Dean swallows and then bends forward. He frames Cas's face with both of his hands. He goes a bit cross-eyed when he tries to look into Cas's eyes. Their mouths are only a few inches apart.

"Can do, you asshole. Can do." Dean whispers before closing the remaining space. When their lips meet it feels like all the fireworks of the world had gone up at the same time. It's all they ever wanted but it's also not enough. They kiss with hunger, need, passion and all inbetween. Until they need to break apart for air.

"Cas, I love you. Okay? But don't ever do a deal like that again. I can't live without you anymore." Dean says.

"Same goes for you." Cas says. "Seriously, Dean. I love you, you know that. But same goes for you. No dump deal, no reckless fights for you. Deal?" Cas has his hands around Dean's neck by now.

"Geez, Cas. Yes, we have a deal but can you stop talking now? And can we kiss more instead?" Dean's hands are in Cas's hair and when Cas nods, Dean stands up and moves from the chair onto the bed, sitting down on Cas's hips. They both sigh and Cas pulls Dean down so that he's completely covering his body.

Their lips meet in a similar way like before. They kiss like all the pent up tension needs to be released at once, like there is no tomorrow. Cas moves his hands down Dean's spine and then rests them on Dean's hips. He pulls Dean's down and pushes his own up. They both first moan and then laugh breathlessly.

"Cas, we still need to talk", Dean says and Cas nods.

"Sure, Dean. Later." Then he captures Dean's lips again.

When they wake up the next morning, they're sure, there are no fireworks left in the world for decades.

+++++ +++++ +++++ +++++ +++++ +++++ +++++

~ ~ written spontaneously and not betad; english isn't my first language; based on something Jensen and Misha said at JiB11

~ ~ @emotiodeano & @januke & @heller-cockles-truther thank you! 💚💙 you may know your parts. if not, please ask. 😉

~ ~ @parhelion-ava sorry, it took so long with the other one. 🥲 and sorry for possibly getting spoiled with this one. 🫣

[goldenraeofsun]

Caveat Emptor

Rating: T

The Empty waves an idle hand in the air. “I’ll give you a test of sorts. I’ll wake up Castiel for you. More Castiels than you know what to do with. At the end, you have to tell me which one is real.”

Dean’s mouth falls open in horror. “But you can read his mind and look like him –”

“That’s why this is a test,” the Empty says, its voice clipped, “and not a charitable giveaway.”

Dean bites back a growl of frustration. It’s not like he can thoroughly search a whole-ass dimension for Cas, and none of his weapons work on the Empty. “Fine,” he says. “Open Door Number One, Monty Hall.”

Read here!

[lavenderleahy]

you ever read a fic so gutwrenchingly good you just wanna sit in that feeling for days

[scripted-downfall]

I love the common idea that "the Empty taunts Cas with fake scenarios and then, when Dean gets him out, he thinks it's a hallucination," but I'm feeling angsty, so I raise you one better: Cas goes to the Empty, sees through the taunting, and gets himself out/to the Bunker. Naturally, the first thing he does is go find Dean --- especially because yeah, all of those scenarios were fake but What If they weren't --- who's sitting in his room.

He's making friends with a bottle of something or other, and he’s got a lore book but he’s so far past beat that it’s falling out of his hand as he dozes off right there. He's not so beat that he doesn't wake up with Cas walks in, though, and Cas isn't sure what he expects but it's certainly not for Dean to smile, expression sad and broken and bitter but somehow happy at the same time, nor for him to pull the bottle up to his lips again as he grumbles out, "Took ya long enough t' show up. Thought the hallucinations'd start sooner. Did last time."

And it's Dean who's gotta be convinced that Cas is real because Cas was dead --- actually dead this time --- and it wasn't that much of a surprise that he'd start losing it again --- like he did after the Leviathans, after Purgatory --- because this time the angel wasn't coming back.