#15 yo do u remember when u were 15? I have no memories of who I was when I was 15

[othercrossee]

Wait...that little comic thing is actually really cute. I adore noir

[kzuhadovey]

omg please i beg of you a part 2 of I Love You w Atsumu the amount of times I read it because it was so heart breaking yet just the right amount of yearning of that makes sense. I absolutely loved it 😍

I’m stupid for loving you... aren’t I?

character: miya atsumu x reader

type: angst??? fluff???

warnings: -

song rec: mr loverman - ricky montgomery

click this to read part 1!!

ahhh hello anon!! this is my first ever request, i’m so excited!! this took rlly long for some reason, i’m so scared to disappoint yall with this 😭😭 well here you go, a part 2 to i love you :)

You were doing fairly great after the incident. Life was peaceful, your grades were skyrocketing, you quit the volleyball team and chose to pursue fashion design- life was good. You graduated Inarizaki as one of the best students in your class and first place in the 49th Japan Fashion Design Contest. You could almost remember the feeling of graduating, on stage, receiving your diploma, being cheered on by your friends and family, with a particular blonde boy eye-ing you with adoring eyes.

The after-party was hectic, never-ending drinks, maybe a make-out or two, but overall, you were ecstatic. An interesting thing that happened during the party, was your interaction with Miya Atsumu. He was still as lively as ever, a bright smile on his face wherever he was. Once he saw you that night, a drink in hand and your arm over your friend’s shoulder, a small smile popped on his face. He went still for a second as all the memories rushed back and you spun around. You were sweaty and drunk, but in his eyes, you looked heavenly. You remember glancing at his eyes for a second, he still had that same honey-toned eyes, a slight lovey-dovey look in his eyes. That was the only interaction you had for the night, and what you thought was for the rest of your life. Or so you’d thought.

Life was pretty much hectic after graduation. College, then joining one of the most successful fashion designers, to actually having your own brand. Who knew design could be so stressful? You slump down in your office only to be greeted by more piles of fabric and paperwork. Another load of presentations to investors and other businesses- yet your company seemed to be going nowhere. “Excuse me, your 4 o’clock meeting is here.” Your assistant suddenly says, making you flinch. “Geez- at least knock first.” You say, standing up and fixing your outfit. This client was particularly important to your brand- they had asked for a possibility of sponsorship. It would be groundbreaking to collab with them- a grade-a sports team would be amazing to collab with. You just weren’t expecting for him to be here. 

“Good afternoon, Mister… Shugo?” You say, looking down at a clipboard with all your materials. Shugo was a familiar name- you’ve probably heard it somewhere on the radio. “Y/N?- I-it’s you.” The man says, standing up. You freeze. You knew that voice- it’s gotten much deeper though. His tone is laced with curiosity- it almost felt like a dream. You look up to be met by him. His honey blonde hair was slicked to the side better, a hint of softness in his brown eyes. “Atsumu?” You mutter unknowingly. A sense of nostalgia hit you as your eyes scanned him. He looks older- and he’s surely gotten buffer. It felt like a dream, really. To see your high school crush almost more than 5 years apart. Then it came back. The sequence of events that happened leading up to the fight. It still hurt, of course, but not as much. I suppose you’ve gotten over it. You snap back into reality when Atsumu coughs awkwardly. “I’m supposed to meet- Shugo. Shugo Meian. Wh- what are you doing here?” You mutter out. “Shugo sent me. I didn’t know- this was your company.” Atsumu says, tucking his hands in his pocket with a small smile. He was still as smug as ever. You nod hesitantly- you had to give him the benefit of the doubt though. “Take a seat, Mr. Miya. We should start talking about the offer.” You say, pointing to the sofa behind him. He nods, giving you a small smile. Gosh- his smile was just as captivating as it did in high school. You feel yourself getting uncomfortable from your own thoughts- after all, you were over him. Right?

“Thank you so much for this opportunity, Mister Miya.” You say, bowing. After around an hour of deliberating and talking, you ended up with a beneficial deal for both of you. Of course, despite your troubles, you stayed professional. It was slightly amusing how Atsumu’s eyes would linger on you- admiring your figure more than a mere business partner would. “I look forward to working with you, Y/N,” Atsumu says, smiling widely. “Hey- uh- do you miss… Suna? and Osamu?” Atsumu asks, a bit hesitant. He’s not sure whether you’d like that because of the incident- but your eyes light up in excitement. “Well, a bit,” That was an understatement, of course. “I assume Osamu became a chef like he always wanted?” You ask curiously. You recall Osamu sharing his dreams of being a chef at lunch, a bright smile on his face every time he thought of it. Atsumu nods and you sigh in relief. “Well- you should catch up with us! Osamu’s finally coming back to town.” Atsumu says- which caught you off guard. Of course, you missed them a lot, but- it would bring back a lot of unpleasant memories. Eh, whatever. Seeing them for a bit wouldn’t hurt. “I mean- sure- but-” “Great! Here’s my number.” Atsumu says, scribbling down his number on a random card. “S-Shugo's number is on there as well- by the way,” Atsumu says, chuckling awkwardly. You nod, taking the card. Would you regret this? I dunno.

That day, you ended up in one of the fanciest nightclubs in town, Energize. It was pretty popular amongst rich people and Atsumu had volunteered to pay for everything anyway. You were seated in a booth, quietly waiting for your ex-teammates. Your heart was beating in anticipation- would they look different? You were sure Osamu still had his signature gray hair and Suna’s soft floofy brown hair. Your main concern was if they would show up or not. It was 15 minutes over what time they agreed, and you were getting hesitant. Was this a mistake? Your mind flashed back to the pile of paperwork and you sighed. You took out your phone, checking your texts.

Y/N This is Atsumu Miya, I presume? Atsumu - High School Y/N!! you texted !! Y/N ヽ(￣▽￣)ノ Are we still meeting up tonight? Atsumu - High School yeah yeah ofc !! suna and osamu already said yes :) Y/N I’m excited to meet them :DD Atsumu - High School they’re excited to meet you too btw u don’t have to be that formal with me lol Y/N Ah, no worries. I like being formal. Where are we meeting up? Atsumu - High School Energize, 8 pm tonight don’t be late :DD Y/N I’ll be there. 

You cringed at some particular parts of your conversations- had you always been this dry? You huff as you look around further, looking for a huddle of boys. There’s no one in sight that looks like them- and with that, you roll your eyes. It was an empty promise anyways- he never meant anything he said anyway. You stuff your phone into your pocket and head off before- you heard something. “Oi Tsumu, where the hell are they? We’ve been looking for them all over the place!” A voice says- Osamu. You would recognize that voice everywhere- were they really that blind? You turn around before being greeted by 3 males, one of them being Atsumu. “Y/N? Is that you?”

The air felt awkward yet soft as you fiddled with your nails. Atsumu had rented out a private booth for the 4 of you, blocking out all the noise and music. You leaned back on your chair, trying to observe your friends. Osamu had darker hair now- with fluffed-up ends. Suna, on the other hand, still has his signature fluffy brown hair, it just has more volume in it. “Osamu, you’re a chef, Atsumu tells me?” You finally speak up, the silence getting overbearing. Osamu’s eyes light up and he puts on a small smile. “Yeah. Osamu’s Onigiris- Doesn’t it sound nice?” Osamu asks excitedly and you nod. “I’m happy for you, Samu.” You slightly cringe- it was too soon to use that nickname. “What about you? What did you end up… becoming?” Suna asks, leaning on his elbow. “I’m a designer now. I own a company- it’s pretty small though.” You say, chuckling. “I knew it. You’ve always been good at drawing and design and… stuff.” Osamu says, a proud smile on his face. You felt a bit comforted by them, a sense of happiness. It felt nice- just to escape reality for a moment and be with your old friends. Atsumu, however, felt a little different. His heart was beating quicker by the second, and you could swear you saw him blush when he saw you. You could say that he was crushing on you.

The loud music was deafening as you made your way through the crowd, hanging on Suna’s shoulder. Everything felt vibrant as you looked around- people dancing, making out, and having fun. It’s been a long time ever since you loosened up and had fun so this was great. Osamu was laughing his head off about something and Atsumu was blabbering about how he was plucking girls from all over the country. After that awkward encounter, Atsumu had volunteered for heavy drinks and well, this was the outcome. “Mmmh- I think I need another drink,” Osamu says, pointing to some chairs. “Yes. Let’s get a few shots- then go home- because I feel like throwing up.” Suna says, a slight smirk playing on his face. “Mister bartender! 4 shots of vodka please!” Atsumu shouts as you all slump against the table. “Yo, Y/N, question… are you single?” Osamu asks as the shots arrive. You nod your head. Your love life so far has been a little boring… just a few hook-ups and dates along the way but no one really stuck. “Ah, you’re the same with Tsumu then!” Osamu says, giggling. Atsumu rolls his eyes and downs the shot in an attempt to push out what Osamu just said. “I mean- ever since you broke up with him, his girlfriend literally broke up with him too- and he never got over you- aFTER 6 YEARS!” Osamu says, chuckling. Atsumu nearly choked on his drink as he processed what Osamu just said- “Excuse me?” You questioned, glaring at Osamu. It takes Osamu a big fat second to realize what he said before a light blush colored his cheeks. “Hey, Suna! Didn’t you say you wanted to check out the toilet earlier?-” Osamu asks suddenly, standing up and picking Suna up by the hoodie. “Wait what?-”

“That was an interesting comment… wasn’t it, Atsumu?” You muttered, downing your shot. Atsumu shoots you a small glare before his cheeks flare in embarrassment. “I mean- Osamu is- a bit correct- I’m still single- but- that wasn’t true, I’m over you- pfft-” Atsumu said, giggling nervously. You chuckled because you’ve noticed that he’s grown more transparent over the years- you can see by the tone of his voice. “Are you sure, Tsumu?” You ask teasingly, leaning in slowly. Atsumu’s eyes widen before downing the rest of his shot. “Y-yes- I’m sure- of course-” Atsumu stutters, a light pink blush on his cheeks. You could just remember that Atsumu did the same thing to you, in high school. The way he made you flutter and smile joyfully- it was amusing. “I’m joking, Atsumu.” You said, giggling as you saw his flustered reaction. “Mmmm- I feel sleepy.” You said as your eyelids feel heavier. “Would you like to go home?” Atsumu asks, fixing your hair a little. He’s grown softer over the years, definitely. Honestly, at first, you’d be very mad at Atsumu if you weren’t drunk, but you were tired. It had been a long day- a small ride home would be okay, right?

“I’m sorry I ended up dragging you to my house.” You said softly, turning on the lights as you stumble into the apartment. Wasted, was the only thing that was right to describe you. Atsumu was right behind you, hoisting your arm up even though he was drunk himself. “No worries Y/N. I wouldn’t want you to stumble over and hit yourself.” Atsumu says as you lay down on the sofa. “Do you want me to get you a cup of water? Some meds, or anything?” Atsumu asks, observing you. You shake your head softly, yawning. “I’ll get you some food, wait here a second,” Atsumu says, standing up. Your head feels heavy against the cushions of the couch- and you feel worn out and tired. “Here you go- some bread, and meds- to avoid headaches,” Atsumu mutters, handing you a pill and a plate of chocolate bread. “Thank you, Tsumu.” You say, starting to eat up the bread. Atsumu’s heart fluttered at your nickname, a visible blush on his cheeks. “Hey, Tsumu, was Osamu really telling the truth? Back at the bar?” You ask softly. You’re currently leaning against Atsumu’s arm, him visibly flustering around your touch. He was definitely caught off guard by your question- a light blush coloring his cheeks. “Yeah. Sure. I guess you could say he was telling the truth.” He chuckles, hoping you wouldn’t kick him off the couch. “Why?”  was the only thing you could say. He sighed softly, sitting you up- a serious conversation, you noted. “I mean… somedays, I just remember how I treated you like shit. How I used you for my own benefit- it’s funny, really, how my feelings have grown over the years. I remember that day, the day you snapped- I was okay with it at first- I saw you as merely a game- but sooner or later I missed you- I missed the way you’d laugh at my cringy jokes, the way you attended every practice I had.” Atsumu mutters, looking down. His tears are threatening to spill and he lets out a breathy chuckle. And it’s so stupid because you can’t love me back. Not after the way, I hurt you and the way you ran off like that- I’m so stupid for loving you… aren’t I?” Atsumu asks. He looks up at you, a small smile playing on his face and he’s on the brink of tears. Back then, he could lie to you so easily- it was as if your feelings didn’t matter to him- but you were surprised to find out that the feelings you had for him… were returned. After all these years, he was willing to give his heart to you. You felt bad for him- of course, he’d think you hate him. You did, really, that day, you cried- you considered moving to another school- but here you were, sitting in front of Atsumu after he had just confessed. “Please say something. I- I won’t be mad if you say you hate me.” Atsumu mutters quietly. You sigh- what do you say?

“Atsumu. Look at me, please?”

He raises his head up to be met by a soft smile. “Tsumu. I don’t hate you, okay?” You say. Even if you’re drunk, your opinion on Atsumu was clear enough. “Yes, I was hurt. You had a girlfriend and you were flirting with me- of course, I was hurt.” You quickly said, looking down. “But I don’t know- you make me feel safe. Even after all those years and I saw you- my feelings all erupted once I saw you. Not gonna lie- it felt shitty- the man who broke my heart stand right then and there.” You gave out a breathy chuckle. Unknowingly, Atsumu was staring right at you with hopeful eyes, hoping for you to say that you loved him back. “Atsumu… I like you, aswell- but I just wanna know if you’re playing games with me. I don’t wanna be some kind of rebound- I don’t wanna raise my hopes up just for you to destroy them.” You muttered softly. “Yes, of course! I- I actually like you this time. You make me so happy, I promise-” Atsumu says, leaping into your arms very suddenly. You yelp at the sudden hug, feeling- inflicted.

“I never got to apologize for my actions- I’m so so sorry- I love you, I love you,” Atsumu mutters into your neck, causing you to giggle. It was amusing- to see Atsumu so flustered over you. “Tsumu. It’s okay, I forgive you.” You mutter softly, petting his hair. Atsumu pulls away, a drunken smile on his face. “C-can I kiss you? I didn’t get a chance to last time…” Atsumu asks slowly, a red blush on his face. You giggle softly- goddamn if he wasn’t cute. “Okay, you can kiss m-” You say slowly, before being interrupted by Atsumu’s lips on yours. His lips are sweet tang against your tongue, and his breath is warm and messy against your lips. You’ve dreamt of this moment since you first laid your eyes on him- his lips against yours, and you’re both a warm ball of happiness. Another life came quicker than expected for Atsumu, but he wasn’t complaining. He got to be with you anyways.

[dawniebb]

Face reveal bc yes

So, guys...especially from the Renegades fandom bc i’m the most active there: you saw the title lmao. This will...barely get notes (i wonder if it’ll get notes at all) buuUUUT YEAH LET’S GOOOO (If you’re gonna reblog pls be respectful bc i have issues and btw reblog ONLY if we are mutuals)

THIS IS ME! <3 HELLOOOO!!!

Now, if you want to stop here, do it. If you don’t...well

I’m going to tell you a story about myself and why I decided to post this.

First of all, I’m not celebrating anything. I’m just celebrating me, I guess (?) and in fact I’ve been wanting to do this since my parents got me a She-Ra cake for my 20th birthday back in May, because I loved that thing and felt the physical need to shove that thing into everyone’s faces But I didn’t because I didn’t feel ready enough...then that thought left my mind, and it came back like two weeks ago.

I’ve had mental issues since I was in like...elementary school. I’m sure I had felt depressed before I turned 12; however, the first memory I hold of feeling so, it’s when I was already 12. Because it was then when I realized that I wasn’t just a dumb kid who didn’t know how to make friends xd To this day, I genuinely feel like I was suffering from isolation bullying; you know xd my classmates purposely excluded me from activities, they would find any excuse for not letting me join their work teams and stuff like that; during my last year at elementary school, I only had like one friend, and that one friend and I shared a sort of abusive/toxic relationship, as in: manipulation, “we’re best friends. you should only talk to ME”, and then this friend turned her back at me too, because she decided to join the rest of the group and ignore me.

lol.

And I remember wondering what was I doing wrong. Like, why didn’t people like me; why didn’t they want to hang out with me; why did everyone seem to have friends except me. And then I got trapped into a very...dark place, and I remember being overthinking one day, because I tend to overthink a lot...and I remembered this specific kid who was in the same class as me.

I was in the line for the teacher to check my homework, and this kid, a boy, was behind me.

You see. I’ve always been chubby xd I don’t think I’ve ever been skinny since I was 2 years old or so, because by the time I was in kindergarten my classmates’ moms were already calling me a ‘little meatball’ thinking it was a fucking adorable nickname because Mexican moms can be pretty shitty sometimes don’t let the media stereotypes fool you not all of them are all cheerful and upbeat and when I was in elementary school, for some reason, besides being chubby, I had a really bad posture. And this boy who was behind me started imitating my way of walking and his friends were laughing, so I turned around and asked him wtf his problem was xd and he turned around to his friends and asked “Do you see how hunchback she is?” like I wasn’t even there xd and I genuinely tried to slap him but I couldn’t, and he said “Yo, stop moving because you’re going to cause an earthquake”

And my mom has always felt personally attacked for the fact I’m...u know, fat. She has always been very insistent on the fact I need to lose weight and stuff like that. And her, mixed with my experiences at school, made me feel like I wasn’t enough.

But my mind started saying things like “And u know why you aren’t enough? Because you’re fat”

Because, like, the day of the hunchback insult, when I told the teacher, who was a very shitty teacher btw but i’m not talking about her again today (i’ve already talked about her in MANY of my university papers, because I’m studying to be an English teacher), she turned around at him and said “Don’t listen to HER” and to this day I still don’t know why xd

But it made me feel like I wasn’t enough. Because I was fat.

Lol x2.

To this day, I still don’t know if I have an ED. Like, I genuinely don’t know. But I can safely say that, if I have one, it’s more likely BED... because, through the years, I managed to lose weight when I turned like 15 and I had my quinceañera party, but then first year of high school came and I had a relapse into depression...like, this might come off as a very unpopular opinion, but junior high school was dope for me x’d I remember it as one of the best years in my life, right after my second and third year in high school (high school in Mexico lasts only three years) and so...when I started my first year in high school and got fucking depressed again, I gained ALL that weight back, and even doubled it. During my second year of high school, I met my friends. The friends I still keep with me to this day. And they accepted me like the fucking train wreck I was, failing math like three times in a row and crying about it every single one of those times  because I’m pretty sure I have dyscalculia but my parents won’t listen to me they think i’m just lazy when it comes to math even though they know i cant even read a fucking clock . And them, along with my another very close friend who I met via fanfction when I was 12, helped me go through it. Like, I did have some issues with my body during high school, but not as much as you would expect. They were getting pretty bad in my first and second semester, but during the other four my friends managed to stop me from losing my mind, even when it all went to shit in my third year again for different reasons.

Then I graduated from high school, and I made friends there too. Although my best friends are still my friend from fanfiction, my friends from high school and just one of my university friends. And you know...I was left...pretty scarred from the shit that happened during third year of high school, and even if I didn’t feel like I was *that* depressed, I did gain a lot of weight.

Like, the highest I’ve ever been. Then my dad got sick during October from last year, then my two doggies were murdered god i fucking hate my neighbors the same day my dad was released from the hospital and my mom went kinda nuts during December and I wanted to just...yeah.

So I did a lot of emotional eating. Like, y’all don’t understand.

It was like...I would go to uni and eat a brownie. Then chocolates on my way home. THEN a “a snack” like...fucking rice krispies. Then a huge ass meal, with soda bc why not. Then I would have either cookies or hot cheetos as a treat after my huge ass meal,

I’m a short person xd carrying that much weight was making my ribs and back hurt, as well as my legs and feet; my breathing was freaking awful, and there were some days were I got SO paranoid I just said things like “i’m gonna die today” or “out here trying to get diabetes like the rest of your family, aren’t you??” :’) but i didn’t tell anybody. My parents are not really an option in this case, BUT I didn’t tell my friends, because then I would have to explain that I ate a lot and that was something I was EXTREMELY ashamed of.

When February came, I was scared of going out, because I knew I would have to choose what clothes to wear and nothing fit me anymore and, the things that did, looked super stretched on me and, u know, I was sore. My health was getting bad. But I didn’t like to feel that way.

AND I MUST CLARIFY HERE. I’M WORKING ON THAT. I’M ACTUALLY A BODY POSITIVY DEFENDER, I JUST DIDN’T LIKE HOW *I* LOOKED AND, BESIDES, I WAS GETTING SICK. I GENUINELY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE AT SOME POINT. I’M NOT SAYING BEING FAT OR CHUBBY IS DISGUSTING. NO. I BELIEVE ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL. AND IF I’M WRITING THIS IS BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO KNOW RECOVERY IS DISGUSTING AND DIFFICULT SOMETIMES AND THAT IF YOU’RE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THAT: I’M SORRY. NOBODY SHOULD EVER FEEL LIKE THAT. I SUPPORT YOU. AND I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER. AND NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS SAY, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE TO CHANGE ONLY IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE. BECAUSE IT’S YOUR BODY. KEEP HOLDING ON.

But going back to the story...

My friends used to tell me I looked pretty all the time, which I appreciate a lot to this day. But my parents were like

Me: I’m fat and I look deformed.

Them: I agree.

Because yeah.

Just before the pandemic madness happened, I went on a school trip with my uni friends and one of them triggered my isolation trauma in the worst way possible...and that, somehow, ruined ALL the photos I took throughout the trip. Because I wasn’t enough. Because I was deformed and fat and I looked like an apple. Because nobody wanted to be seen near me. And my personality was shitty.

Like, I should’ve known I was worth it. I’m still worth it and I know that. But I wasn’t less worth it when I was chubbier. And maybe I didn’t look as bad as my head made me believe. But at the time my mental health was extremely awful.

Now, covid happened.

Not gonna lie. Quarantine fucked me up as much as it fucked everyone else, but for me...by not going out, I stopped being near trigger foods, and I was even able to consult a dietitian.

I’ve lost 15 kg since March. And I’ve managed to love my past self, but I love this one because changing it was my decision. Sure, my parents didn’t help a lot, but in the end it was MY decision. I’ve come to accept I was worth it even when I felt disgusted by myself, and all of those awful things people said or did to me, like my friend during that trip...

I didn’t deserve any of those things. Because NO ONE deserves to be treated that way.  No one deserves somebody else making fun of them. No one deserves somebody else doing awful things to them that they know damn well that they trigger their childhood trauma. No one deserves to be judged for the way they look.

I was in a very dark place, and sometimes I’m still inside there. And like...during all those times, I kept posting in here.

I remember being next to my dad in the hospital, telling him “Guess what? Supernova drops this week” or “We’re going to watch TDP together, right?” or “Let me talk to you about She-Ra...” ....those were things that like...saved my life for a while, though mostly Supernova. Because, actually, Marissa Meyer has helped me in my fucking darkest years x’d from my third year of high school until now.

Her books didn’t take my depression away, but they did make things a little lighter for me, even when I felt like dying.

And I know this fandom is like..full of minors, so...I don’t know if any of you need to hear this: But you’re worth it.

If you want to change anything in your body, do it because YOU want to.

Because YOU’LL like you better.

Because it’s YOUR body, and it’s the only part of yourself that you and other people can touch.

Nobody should ever tell you you’re worthless because of your weight and your physical appearance. And if they ever do, then they’re the ones who should apologize, not you.

Nobody has the right to mistreat you, abuse you, or use your own body against you.

As for me...my ribs don’t hurt anymore. Nor does my back or my feet, and my breathing is getting better; I took the conscious decision to lose weight but, like I said, now that I’m not in such a dark place, I’m staring to realize that the past me wasn’t as hideous as my mind was making me believe. She was okay; she was broken inside, but she didn’t deserve anything that happened to her, nor did she deserved to treat herself that badly.

I posted my photo just to celebrate that I can finally said I’m not disgusted anymore. I can finally see myself in pictures again. And see my own reflection. Or go through my closet. Or do my makeup, because I LOVE doing my makeup and I was even ashamed of that. I’m not fully okay yet, but I’m healing.

So, if there’s any little Dawnie around here: I hope you give yourself a chance and realize you’re beautiful.

I hope that, if you change, it’s because you wanted to do it.

I hope you know that it’ll get better even if the healing process it’s not that easy.

I hope you know there’s people who love you.

I hope you know that you are beautiful. You were always beautiful and, no matter what path you choose, you’ll always be beautiful.

And worth it.

And human.

And important.

Take care of yourself, because you’re wonderful, no matter your size <3

[acidproofnotebook]

One-Punch Man Chapter 84, Update 125

As published online

Date:

Translator: u/hdx514

Rough page by page translations for those who don't want to wait. I'm skipping most pages with only sound effects.

Title page

Not lonely, but a solitary one

Pages 2-5

Bang wrecking Garou

Page 6

Genos: perfect moves that combine attack and defense into one

Ge: even though both use the same water stream rock smashing fists, the difference in master is night and day

Ge: the battle about to reach its conclusion

Page 7-11

Garou continues to get wrecked

Page 12

Garou: w…what is this

Ga: these vicious attacks are nothing like damn geezer’s style…

Page 13

Ga: bad…this is bad

Ga: my consciousness is…

Ga: it means…death…

Ga: Ahhhh

Page 14

Bang: what is that strange movement

Ba: where did he learn it?

Ba: he’s moving like a beast

Ga: I’m not done yet!

Page 15

Ga: if I use the fallen heroes as hostages, there might still be a way out!!

Bomb: I won’t let you

Page 16

Monsters get sliced up

Page 17 Bomb: Bang, we finished the monsters from the hole in the ground

Bo: it’s just Garou now

Page 18

Genos: life signals from monsters still remain

Ge: not sure why, but I cannot accurately assess their location or numbers

Ge:if we go down that hole, will we find the Monsters Association hideout?

Pheonix man: The Monster Association members were all killed? Damn, they really are unreliable.

Page 19

Phoenix man: even though we deployed significant forces to capture Garou alive

Ph: that Demon Cyborg…the power he possesses is unbelievable

Ph: even Silver Fang is here, there’s no chance we get Garou away from here

Ph: but if I leave empty handed after this crushing defeat, I might get eaten by Orochi

Page 20

Ph: regardless, I can only hope Garou can escape on his own …

Ph: ...what a desperate situation… Ph: does this mean I have to plan an exit strategy from MA…?

Ba: (referring to Bomb) if you were this badly injured, could you still be standing?

Bo: …if I were 60 years younger, I might be able to tough it out

Bo: …maybe

Bo: we’re almost there!!! Let’s finish him before the other heroes arrive!

Ba: roger

Page 21

Ga: can’t even move my wrists…

Ga: attacking your former number 1 disciple when he’s at his weakest, how despicable of you, Bang

Page 22

Ga: this other geezer, isn’t he Bomb, master of the whirlwind iron cutting fist?

Ga: to think the two reclusive masters of the martial arts world would gang up on me, shameless

Ga: even if I pretend to beg for my life, Demon Cyborg still won’t spare me

Ga: If I want to survive this crisis, I have to kill all three

Page 23

Ga (or Bang?): it’s impossible

Ba: do you know how much pain you have caused my number one disciple Charanko

Ba: Garou!!

Page 24

Garou flashback

Kids: let’s play a hero game!

Kids: you too, Garou

Kids: c’mon let’s play

Garou: huh, sure

Page 25

Kid: drum roll~~

Kid: justice man is here!

Kid: justice kick

Kid: aah it hurts!

Page 26

Ga: hey that’s dangerous

Kid: huh?

Ga: I feel bad (for the kid playing monster)

Kid: …how about you play the monster

Kid: justice cross

Ga: waa (steps out of the way)

Kid: what’s wrong with you?

Ga: s…sorry, Tatsu

Kid: I almost had you

Kids: what’s your problem, you’re a monster, you’re not supposed to do that

Kids: let’s pin him down

Kids: okay-

Page 27

Kid: justice man kick!

Kid: monster Garou defeated~

Ga: what is this, pre-death flashbacks?

Ga: these memories disgusts me

Ga: that kid…right, I remember him…Tatsu, that popular kid

Page 28

Kids: hey, what’s going on? Why are you fighting?

Kids: shall I call the teacher?

Kids: Garou is being violent

Kids: we were only playing, but he got mad! What’s his problem

Ga: I….I can’t take it any more!

Ga: come Tatsu, me vs. you, let’s figure it out

Tatsu: ha? What are you talking about, I thought we were just playing

Page 29

Ga:  I DON’T want to play monster! It’s no fun at all!

Ga: let’s duke it out, if I win you stop bugging me, that’s the deal!

Tat: Sabu, Yotsu, hold Garou down

Ga: despicable….stop…let go! I…

Ga: aah…damn it!

Kids: he’s crazy, let’s call the teacher

Kids: run Tatsu

Kids: pin him down, pin him down!

Kids: what happened?

Kids: you guys should come and help

Kids: Tatsu was being nice and Garou took advantage of him

Kids: he’s the worst

Kids: Garou got serious with Tatsu all of a sudden while playing the game

Kids: what’s this guy even thinking

Kids: I feel so bad for Tatsu

Page 30

Tatsu is a king among the kids, Tatsu is a bully, Tatsu is nasty

I’m in the dark, always alone I have no friends

Tatsu is a good athlete, Tatsu is popular

I despise the popular ones

not sure of the order of the following dialogue

Teacher: why did you get violent?

Te: I heard you got mad while playing a hero game, is that true?

Te: can you not even tell the difference between a game and reality!

Ga: no teacher, it’s because Tatsu is so popular that everyone is badmouthing me

Te: you were the violent one, weren’t you? What if a window got broken, how are you going to pay for that!

Ga: Tatsu always…always treats me like a monster

Ga: NO!

Page 31

Ga: I don’t dislike playing the monster

Ga: am I holding a grudge against Tatsu for playing the hero?

Ga: no, that’s not it either

Ga: it’s just that playing the hero game has made me realize how absurd it is

Ga: the one who’s popular can bully the one who’s hated however he wants

Te: you are in the wrong, apologize now

Te: call your parents

Ga: this is not just bullying, this is a faithful, real life adaption of a kids’ game that is accepted by the public.

Ga: you are free to choose your role, but the ones who ends up playing hero must have the support of the people, how could that ever be me.

Ga: naturally, the script in which the one playing monster scores the victory doesn’t exist in the first place. I was destined to lose.

Page 32

Ga: what is justice! What is evil!

Ga: at the end of the day it’s just following the will of the masses, and the masses wants me dead!

Ga: unforgivable! There is no logic!

Ga: I can’t explain the reason behind it, but it makes me mad!

Ga: I will make you understand! Ga: I will deliver my punch on behalf of the disenfranchised!

Ga: and I reject your notion of good and evil!

Page 33

Genos: he fell

Bang: it’s over

Page 34

Ga: no way it ends at a place like this!

Page 35

Garou shatters earth

Page 36

Bang/Bomb: what?!

Page 37-39

Garou lifts tree and swings it

Bo: this is bad, his body…

Ba: what’s with this burst of power?!

Page 40

Bang: don’t you realize it yet Garou!

Ba: if you keep going like this, you really will die!

Ge: Bang, above you!

Page 41-42

Phoenix man lands and grabs Garou

Page 43

Bo: more monsters!?

Ba: there’re still a few left!!!

Page 44

Ba: !

Ba: Genos-kun

Ge: Bang, you saw that just now, didn’t you

Ge: that thing has become monster, it even befriended one

Ge: I trust that you won’t object if I shoot both of them down

Page 45

Phoenix man (calling to Elder Centipede): Can you hear me!!?

Ph: I have Garou

Ph: just finish these guys off!

Ph: I’m leaving the rest to you!!

Bo: ???

Page 46-47

Ge: spiral incineration cannon

Ph: Elder Centipede

Page 48-50

Elder Centipede emerges and tanks Genos’ cannon fire

Page 51

Bo/Ba/Ge: What was that!?

Page 52-53

Elder Centipede breaking ground

Page 54-55

Disaster level: dragon

Giant monster insect Elder Centipede

Page 56

Bo: w..what…

Bo: is this a living thing!!?

Ba: damn, we must protect them (the fallen heroes)

Page 57

Ba: up you go

Page 58

Bomb using whirlwind iron cutting fist to save the fallen heroes

Page 59

Ge: those life signals must have been caused by it…

Ge: it’s not that I wasn’t able to pinpoint its location, it’s simply too massive

[very long -- rest under cut]

Page 60

Ge: completely unharmed after taking the cannon fire

Ge/Bo/Ba (not sure who said it): an opponent that can easily break my wrists…

Garou (I think): that centipede…

Page 61

Ga: why did you come here?

Ph: don’t worry, Elder Centipede will handle the rest down there

Ph: that guy is a literal natural disaster that swallows everything

Ph: his indiscriminant power of destruction is truly shocking

Ph: an anti-climactic “hero hunt” as usual, wouldn’t you say?

Ph: you  can’t just knock them out, they must be eliminated permanently

Ph: heroes who are knocked out will be always come back bouncin’

Page 62

Ph: …you just rest easy

Ph: Elder Centipede will end it all

Ga: ! (starts struggling)

Ph: stop wasting your energy

Ga: those heroes are my prey

Ph: yo yo, stop moving!

Ga: damn you, let me go! Unforgivable!

Ph: hey hey, don’t get angry

Ph: it’s your fault you didn’t finish them off after all

Ph: plus, this is a golden opportunity for us to off 2 S-class heroes

Ph: the S-class heroes are the biggest threat to the Monsters Association

Page 63

Ph: you experienced it firsthand, didn’t you

Ph: there is such thing as battle compatibility

Ph: if our advisor Gyoro is right, in the entire Hero Association, there are only four who could take on Elder Centipede

Page 64

Ph: The wielder of unparalleled supernatural power, “tornado of terror”

Ph: The sole commander of a military force that’s beyond even HA’s control, “metal knight”

Page 65

Ph: The strongest human “King”

Ph: And…the one who almost killed Elder Centipede, the strongest hero, “Blast”

Page 66

Ph: Elder Centipede is working with Monsters Association in order to seek revenge against Blast

Ph: he just can’t wait to lure the hermit Blast back onto the battlefield

Ph: unfortunately…those two down there (Bang and Genos) do not possess the power to turn the tides in their favor

Ph: Silver Fang has obtained unmatched power through martial arts, but that only works on opponents of a similar size

Ph: Demon Cyborg’s capabilities are terrifying

Ph: but he carries nothing on-board that will threaten a monster of this size.

Ph: He cannot go beyond the destructive firepower of his weapons

Ph: that is the limit of Demon Cyborg

Page 67

Ph: with a lineup like that, they are surely doomed

Ge/Bo/Ba: It’s coming!!!

Page 68

Page 69-70

Elder Centipede charging against the three

Page 71-72

Ba/Bo: Whirlwind water stream air-blasting sky-splitting fist

Page 73-75

Impact, Elder Centipede cracking, Bang and Bomb posing

Page 76

Ge: what a technique (flashback of Bang and Bomb talking about their technique: it’s a killing blow, but it has openings, my understanding is they needed Genos’ attack to act as decoy in order for their combo to land, because it’s not yet perfect)

Ge: it even shattered such hardened shell…

Ge: this must be

Ge: the pinnacle of technique/skill

Page 77-78

Ba/Bo: it’s not over yet x 10

Page 79

Elder Centipede pushes Bang/Bomb back

Page 80

Ba: ouch…that was careless

Bo: but we got it

Bo: the impact will ravage its body

Bo: turn into powder, monster

Ba: for two old folks like us, using this grand technique once is our limit

Ba: great thing we landed

Ba: a little help, Genos

Page 81

Ba: it’s over

Page 82

Elder Centipede molting

Page 83

Ba: it can’t be

Page 84

Ba: this guy just molted!!!

Ba: and it’s even bigger than before!?

Ba: how could this be

Page 85

Bo: we cannot defeat that thing…!

Bo: and we need to protect the unconscious heroes…

Bo: what shall we do!? Bang!

Ba: it’ll catch up to us if we tried to run

Ba: this forest park is just outside the city limits …

Ba: if we leave we’ll get civilians involved

Page 86

Ge: Bang, I will fight it

Ge: try my best to lure the centipede over here

Ge: you guys grab the injured heroes and get out of here

Page 87

Ba: Genos kun

Ba: you want to go alone

Ba: can’t say I agree with this plan…

Bo: I know there’s little chance of success, but don’t be reckless

Bo: the future belongs to the youths

Genos’ flashback of Dr. Kuseno: whatever you do Genos, don’t be reckless

Page 88

Ge: am I really going to…

Ge: leave this monster be

Page 89-90

Ge: That is not

Ge: possible

Page 91-92

Genos fighting Elder Centipede

Page 93

Ba: this is madness

Ba: cannon fire cannot harm it

Page 94

Ge: whether it’s this thing

Ge: or the monster from yesterday (Gouketsu)

Page 95

Ge: or Garou

Ge: they’re all part of the Monsters Association

Ge: this fight

Ge: is unavoidable

Page 96-97

Genos attacking Elder Centipede from above

Page 98

Ge: Dual Blade Rush

Ge: that’s what you have to do to fight them

Page 99

Ge: I’m participating

Ge: destroy

Page 100

Ge: if this is me being reckless

Ge: !

Page 101

Ba/Bo: Genos kun!!!

Ge: at this rate, I’ll…

Page 102

OUT OF THE FIGHT

Page 103

Genos recombines

Page 104

Ge: Jets drive arrow

Page 105-106

Genos kicks Elder Centipede tooth, which cracks

Page 107

Ba/Bo: he’s inside its mouth

Elder: it’s over…

Page 108

Ge: ! digestive acid

Elder: I’ll melt you in a few seconds

Ge: it’s you who are going to melt

Page 109-110

Ge: Super Spiral Incineration Cannon

Page 111

Aftermath of Super Spiral Incineration Cannon

Page 112

Bo: …!!!

Ba: he finished it!!

Page 113

Elder Centipede tanks the hit, is fine

Page 114

Ge: at the end…

Ge: I am unable to…defeat…

Ge: nor able to protect…

Page 115

Ba: let’s get out of here

Ba: Bomb!

Ba: grab the rest of them!!

Elder: futile struggle

Ph: what’s the matter

Ph: you were still responsible for taking out half of the heroes, it can’t be that bad

Page 116

Ga: not like that!

Ga: This is not what I had hoped!!!

Ga: I…I wanted to beat them with my own strength!

Ga: only then I can be a symbol of terror…!!

Ga: that’s the purpose of the hero hunt!!!

Ph: symbol of terror? You? Hahahaha…

Ph: in your current state, if you went back there, you’ll just end up getting trampled to death with the rest of the heroes

Ph: right now, you do not possess the strength to disobey Elder Centipede or executive members of the Monsters Association

Page 117

Ga: crying…

Ga: sooner or later…I’ll show you what I’m capable of…

Ge: how could I…

Page 118

Ge: what am I missing…!?

Ge: are there several others like that?

Ge: in front of those monsters…

Ge: what can I do, besides look on with envy…?

Bo: Bang! This is bad

Bo: at this rate it’ll get outside the forest park!

Bo: there will be casualties in the city!!

Page 119

Bo: at this rate…I won’t be able to walk

Bo: how old do you think I am

Ba: I’ll leave it to fate…

Ba: brother

Page 120

Ba: for the last time in my life, I’ll give it my all

Page 121-122

King: Elder Centipede~!!!

K: yo! Pest!!!!!

K: I’ve brought your target – “Blast”!!!!

Page 123

Ba: !?

Ge: that voice…King!!?

Ge: Blast!?

Ba: what…!

Bo: !!!? Look!!

Bo: it’s stopped chasing and is going towards another direction

Page 124

Elder: Blast…?

King: thaat’s….riiiight!

K: the very one that beat the crap out of you and made you wet yourself, the hero Blast!!

K: if you want to fight him again, come over here!

K: why are you so scared you can’t move?! Straighten up!!! Hey, if you’re about to shit yourself you should go home!

K: a bug like you, you must want to run back underground and suck on your mom’s tits!!!!

Page 125

Association staff: King arrived at the location near S city where Elder Centipede has reemerged!!!

Staff: thank god! It’s King, he’ll have a solution…

Staff: …there are several other heroes onsite

Staff: when I warned him their battle might cause collateral damage and injure the innocent, he told me “I hope you could give me information that can provoke Elder Centipede”

S: he might have wanted to lure the monster to him and fight it one on one.

Page 126

Staff: it sustained grave injuries at the hands of Blast in the past, but escaped with his injuries underground

S: it would be great if we could finish it off this time…

S: even though it’s top secret information, I still told king the past between Blast and Elder Centipede

S: and explained to him if the battle were to become dragged out or increase in scope, it might causegreat disaster for the surrounding areas …

S: what did he say?

S: he just said “understood”.

The roar of the King Engine……

Page 127

K: luring it here so no one else gets involved…

K: finish it off with one shot before it escapes underground

K: damage must be contained…blowing it back into the city is not an option…

K: there’s very limited time to make your decision

K: that’s it

Page 128

K: …

K: …Saitama?

Page 129

K: Saitama~!!!?

K: it’s about to

Page 130

Shot of Elder Centipede charging

Page 131-138

SERIOUS PUNCH

Page 139

Saitama: ah

Page 140

Sai: Genos, is that you?

Page 141

Sai: you really are here

Sai: just like King said

K: by the skin of my teeth…that was a close call…

Sai: it’s all good, we’re here aren’t we

K: huh? Saitama, you sound…happy?

Sai: I feel awesome for some reason

Page 142

Sai: it’s a great stress release after getting owned by you in video games

K (thinking): it’s still bothering him …

K: that’s not it…I thought I told you it’s because of your inflexible, singular approach towards battles

Ge: Saitama sensei, can I ask you a question

Sai: what?

Ge: what am I missing?

Sai: huh

Sai: power, I guess?

Page 143

Ge: …!!!!

Ge: thank you very much

K: aaaaaaahhhhhh…that’s no good Genos…

K: you cannot use Saitama as reference

Ge: sensei has guided my path with his battle

Ge: the symbol of great strength, that is my goal…

Ge: I will be there

Page 144

Ph: Garou…he has finally lost consciousness

Ph: rest easy

Ph: we’ll soon be with Orochi

END

[emisonme]

Find You Again.......

For me, Find You Again is not a break-up/heartbreak song. It is a beautiful love song. It is a lyrical love letter to the love of her dreams. (or love of her life, if you prefer)

Before I get into the analysis, let me start by saying, there is no way Camila is going to use lyrics, she wrote as a teenager, and incorporate them into a love song she is writing about in the present...Unless the person she is writing about now, is the same person she was writing about, as a 16 year old kid.

Camila is to talented a lyricist to have to recycle lyrics. Especially lyrics from a song that was leaked, that we have all heard, and that we know was written when she was a kid. In my opinion, this is her way of letting us, this 2019 love song is indeed about the same person she was writing about all those years ago.

I am pretty confident in that opinion, because I also have no hesitancy in saying, Find You Again was written about the same person NBTS was written about. The same person All These Years and Consequences was written about. The same person U Shaped Space and Only Told The Moon was written about. The list goes on and on. Don't believe me? Listen to all those songs I listed, then listen to Find You Again. It shouldn't be difficult to make the connections.

OK, Let's get to analyzing this song. I'll start with something Camila said about the song. She said,  she came up with the title concept of "I know I'll never find you again" back last year, in 2018. That those lyrics were from the perspective of losing the person she was in love with. That's exactly how the song begins. From the perspective of "If I lose you..."

"I'll try to pass the night away with somebody knew/ but they don't have a shot when I compare them to you/ It's too late, too late/ Baby I know I'll never find you again/ find you again."

Here, she is telling the person, directly, that if she loses them she'll try to move on, but it would be an impossible task. It's too late , because she would always compare everyone else to them, and she'll never be able to find them in someone else.

The first verse is from the perspective of a time when they were actually broken up. She is telling them the experience she had, of trying to move on.

"Baby, Baby, I/ walk in the late night/ looking for your eyes/ put up a fight to find you/ lose it every time/ you were the last of your kind/ all of the blame's mine."

She is telling them, that she went out and tried to find someone new, but in doing so, the only thing she found herself looking for, was them. The same eyes. Remember the eyes are the windows to the soul. She was looking for their soul in the eyes of others. She really tried to find someone who could replace them in her heart, but it was to know avail. She was looking for them, in everyone else she meets. (wasn't there a reblog about this) They are a one of a kind. The last of their kind. The one and only to have a permanent place in her heart.

The "all of the blame's mine" could have a double meaning here. She is taking responsibility for the situation she finds herself in. She is to blame for not being able to move on, because she doesn't want to move on.

The other meaning could be, she is taking responsibility for their break-up. Not because she necessarily did something wrong, but because she took what they had for granted. This is a common occurrence, especially in youth. Young lovers always have a tendency to think, love is enough.

When one has been in a relationship with someone, for a while, they become complacent. Everything becomes routine. They become desensitized to their importance. You love them, they love you, and you simply assume that is enough. That you will never lose them...until you do.

Then you find yourself wondering what the hell happened. You don't realize, until it's too late, that something is wrong. You just assumed, that everything would be OK, because they love you, you love them, and that's all that matters. It's enough to work through anything, right?

Loving someone is easy. Being in a loving relationship with someone isn't. A relationship is something you have to constantly work and fight for, because there is always something trying to tear it apart. Doubt, fear, trust, jealousy, anxiety, other people, all become a factor when you fall in love with someone and try to have a relationship with them.

When you take what you have with someone for granted, become complacent in your routine, and assume what you have together is enough, you stop fighting for it. When you stop fighting for it, you lose it. When you lose it, you realize too late, love wasn't enough. That's when you blame yourself and write lyrics like, "I wish I'd loved you like I miss you". Because when you take love for granted, you never quite know what you have, until you lose it.

"And I remember you told me/ that we could work it all out/ don't you worry/ and now, the tears in your eyes, make it blurry/ but if you say try again, I'd be ready/ I'm ready, yeah."

They both took what they had for granted. But, Camila blames herself for believing when she was told not to worry, that they could work it all out. They always had. She simply believed everything would be fine, when it wasn't. The day came, when they couldn't do it anymore. They needed a break. The love is still there, but the desire to fight through all the pressures to try and make the relationship work, wasn't.

That's when Camila knew, she took what she had for granted. That's when she knew exactly what she had, after she lost it. She'll try yo move on, but she knows she'll be ready for the day they ask her to "try again", because they are THE ONE. No one else compares. Anyone else would always come second to them.  Camila has no desire to settle for second best, when she knows what it feels like to have THE BEST.

The second verse is brilliant. Camila has described it as one of her favorite things she's written. She also said, this verse is full of lyrics she's had since she was 16 years old. Not ALL the lyrics in this verse are from when she was 16. She has adapted some of her older lyrics to fit a more mature 22 year olds experience and wisdom.

Before I get into this verse, I want to say, I think FYA is telling us a story in reverse order. It goes from asking what if I lose you, to their most recent break-up, which I'm thinking was in late 2016, to their problems in 2015, to their problems in 2013/2014.

That said, I think the second verse actually represents two different time frames. I'll break the verse down into my perceived two different time frames.

"Have mercy on me, please/ I messed up to the third degree/ this crush is kind of crushing me/ I do therapy at least twice a week."

This part, I think represents the 2015 drama and possible break. Camila was going through a really tough time with her anxiety in 2015. Especially the later half of 2015.

She has said her mind was fucking with her, to the point she thought everyone was out to get her. Then we find out, she was diagnosed with OCD with intrusive thoughts. The intrusive thoughts that come with OCD, are no joke. These thoughts can come out of nowhere, and they are relentless. They will scare the living shit out of you. You don't know where these thoughts are coming from, because they are not you, or your thoughts, at all. They are OCD thoughts, and until you learn how to recognize and distinguish which are OCD thoughts and which are your true thoughts, the OCD thoughts become your scary thoughts...and they will only get worse.....(I'll go as far as to say, I'm almost sure management used her diagnosis against her, to help create the 2015 drama.)

This part sounds like Camila is asking for forgiveness. Not only for believing the thoughts in her head, but also allowing herself to be manipulated by THEM, and use her OCD and her feelings against her. (Thankfully, therapy helped the situation)

For FYA, she is putting emphasis on her "crush". We know in late August/early September, she said she wouldn't hesitate to marry her "celebrity crush". (We all know who she was talking about, but shhhh, we aren't supposed to know.) Her OCD, with help from management bullshit, was really making her question everything about her relationship. It was crushing her to the point of breaking.

"There's a you-shaped space in my bed/ always you-shaped thoughts inside my head, like/ I keep pushing them right into you/ La Cienega, where I remember you."

This sounds like 16 year old Camila, to me. She was crushing on a certain someone, hard. That crush began when she was 15. The person she was crushing on, she was also rooming with, and probably even sharing the same bed with, on occasion. They were her new found best friend, after all.

Nothing like crushing on your best friend, right? If you've ever had your crush laying next to you, then you know the kinds of thoughts that were running through Camila's head. She tried to hide her true feelings, but alas she couldn't. Her BFF/crush could read her like a book. Her BFF/crush is an Empath, after all. Camila didn't have a chance to hide her feelings, because she was literally pushing her feeling right into her empathic Bff crush.

Remember, she wrote some of these lyrics when she was 16. That doesn't necessarily mean, all the memories and situations she was writing about all happened when she was 16. With that said, this whole La Cienega thing has me taking shots in the dark.

Camila was unknowingly "pushing" her feelings into her crush, before her crush was ready to accept those feelings, or acknowledge their own feelings. Maybe, and it's a strong maybe, that's what the whole La Cienega thing means. She wishes they could go back to when they were on X-Factor. The way she remembers her crush, before all these damn complicating feeling got in the way.

Anyways, that's my take on Find You Again. This song is depicting the ups and downs of a relationship that has spanned years. It is a song that has taken six years to complete. It's a song about a relationship that started as a friendship, developed into a major crush, that eventually developed into a relationship that Camila Cabello has been writing love songs about, ever since.

In summary, Find You Again is a beautiful lyrical love letter, Camila wrote for the love of her dreams. She is telling them, no matter where they are, together or apart, she will always be waiting for them. Waiting for them to either come home, or tell her they are ready to "try again".

This person is the only one Camila wants. They are the only one Camila wants to give her heart to. Camila knows, she would never be able to find another "you". Someone with the same heart, the same soul, the same passion. "You" are the last of "your" kind. Camila will "never find you again", because there is only ONE YOU!!!!!

Aren't you proud of me. I stuck to gender neutral pronouns, and kept this whole post neutral. I am nowhere near delusional...................By the way, wasn't Lauren on X-factor with Camila? Didn't Camila and Lauren room together?...Didn't Lauren come out as Bi---and an Empath?......Interesting!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ashley-slashley]

indirectly tagged by @ledzeppelinsbonzo​!

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? city

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be?

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? i add sugar to tea when i drink tea, which isn’t that often. i rarely get coffee, but when i do it’s already sugary enough lmao

5. What was your favourite book as a child? that’s a tie between The Tiara Club and Baby Mouse

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? the only thing that came up in my mind is the Flatwoods Monster

8. Paper or electronic books? paper since not only do you have to charge it, but also it’s less likely to get stolen and i just like the variety of book covers (e.g. minimalist designs vs detailed designs)

9. What is your favorite item of clothing? geeky t-shirts that don’t have side seams

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? i love my name

11. Who is a mentor to you? idk

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? No

13. Are you a restless sleeper? it depends on if my anxiety is ravaging my brain

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? yes

15. Which element best represents you? i’m gonna say fire since i usually push people away from me by exposing the horrid sides of myself as a protective shell

16. Who do you want to be closer to? in distance? my best friend

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? i’m always missing my best friend

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. i remember being either 3 or 4 years old and watching one of the Christopher Reeves Superman movies while drinking red kool-aid (yes, i’ve always been a geek)

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk. it depends on what one categorizes as “strange”

20. What are you most thankful for? my ability to express my individuality

21. Do you like spicy food? Y E E T

22. Have you ever met someone famous? no, and if i do i’ll most likely have an anxiety attack

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? yes, if you somehow manage to locate me and acquire access to any of my diaries, you make the decision on whether or not to read them

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? pen

25. What is your star sign? aquarius

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? crunchy

27. What would you want your legacy to be? idk

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? pretty sure it was something of Harlan Ellison’s

29. How do you show someone you love them? making them something from scratch - not everyone gets to experience the baked goods i make

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? yes

31. What are you afraid of? heights, things blowing in the wind, failure, being abandoned, someone using my insecurities and mental issues as a weapon against me

32. What is your favourite scent? there’s too many i consider my favorite

33. u address older people by their name or surname? surname

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? in a mid-century style single story modern house

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? never swam in the ocean, so i can’t honestly choose

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? keep it. (converts to USD) save it to invest in a drawing pad for my computer, or buy more books

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? no

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? that’s really bold of you to assume i want kids

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i have a few ideas for tattoos i’d want: the stained glass depiction of the enchanted rose from Beauty and the Beast with “for who could ever learn to love a beast” close to it in really nice script, the starfleet insignia, the design of the cover of The Wall, possibly the Vulcan salute, a silhouette of the two dudes on the Wish You Were Here cover

40. What can you hear now? spotify

41. Where do you feel the safest? here behind my wall

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my fear of heights

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? obviously the 60s/70s

44. What is your most used emoji? the laugh crying emoji

45. Describe yourself using one word. fascinating

46. What do you regret the most? i try not to think about that

47. Last movie you saw? at the movies? Apocalypse Now Final Cut in IMAX

48. Last tv show you watched? Aqua Teen Hunger Force

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. splunge

tagging: @theoriginalpurpledogpalace @david-watts @basilthemessman @stonetheskooks @tuliptheswashbuckler @mustaines-mustang @autie-jake

[makiema]

Hello! What makes you ship Levi and Eren? (always curious about how people get into ereri)

Hi there, anon! I wish I could’ve answered this briefly but you’ve asked me something that I could honestly ramble on about forever. I’d try to be precise but I’m afraid it’d still be quite long because I don’t have the time to summarise, so bear withe me please >.

Okay so first of all, I used to be more into Eremika than Ereri in the beginning and the precious Eremika moment from Chapter 50 owned my heart. Back then the 13 y/o me didn’t get shit about Levi and Eren’s platonic canon relationship. But the popularity of Ereri was overwhelming and even though they were far from being my OTP I still shipped them in AU settings mainly because the fanfics were excellent. Also, at that point of time, I was more invested in the Naruto fandom and SS was my only OTP. In fact, I didn’t even know about the Visual Novel until late 2015 or early 2016 (I don’t remember exactly) which made me really get into Ereri. Reading the VN actually changed my whole perspective on Ereri and made me realise the depth of their canon relationship. When I re-read the manga again after that none of their subtle moments were lost on me and that’s how the ship started growing on me. Since then I even began picking up on a lot of parallels, symbolisms, etc. associated with them and all of that collectively went into becoming the reason why Ereri is my OTP.

I probably cannot think up of everything that makes me ship them at one go. Also I have my internals next week and Im losing my mind. Anyway here are some of the reasons that immediately came to mind when I saw your ask:

• Levi equating Eren to “The Tyger” : The VN concluded with the first two stanzas of Blake’s poem “The Tyger”. The poem is taken from The Songs of Innocence and Experience and the entire volume focuses on two things : the transition from childhood into adulthood and the existence of both beneficial and malevolent forces in human beings. So in the novel, Levi’s understanding, acceptance and even admiration of both the humane and the monstrous potential in Eren is commendable : “A monster with perfect, fearsome beauty; that inspires awe” Also, Levi acknowledges Eren’s will that “cannot be made to surrender” and his drive for freedom that “people living like birds in cages won’t get”. This shows us how Levi realizes that Eren’s mental maturity is not that of a normal 15 yo; that his “experiences” have made him into someone much more gritty, resilient and strong-willed for his age. “The Tyger” here is the agent of free-will and the poem further emphasises on free spirit by incorporating references to mythological figures who’re deemed as humanity’s heroes, for instance, “seize the fire” refers to Prometheus who is mankind’s hero because he stole fire from Zeus. It is said that because of him mankind could gain knowledge ; that mankind could step out of the bounds of ignorance ( See the parallel with Eren who said how ignorance is the biggest obstacle to freedom in Chapter 112 ). Another hero alluded to in the poem is Icarus who grew his wings of freedom and attempted to reach the farthest point (dangerously close to the sun) even though he was burned in the attempt (parallels with Eren’s whole attitude of ‘no matter what kind of hell awaits me I’ll keep moving forward’ ). Yeah so, that’s how deep Levi’s understanding of Eren runs.( Can you imagine the entire arc of Eren’s character was foreshadowed in Levi’s thoughts about him?) To me understanding is the most important factor when it comes to a ship so, I think Levi’s pov in the VN is the biggest contributor to their development.

• The way Eren looks at Levi : Idk how cliched this sounds but yes, the way he looks at Levi honestly gives me life. Be it in the Forest of the Giant Trees, or in the Reiss Chapel or in the Marley Arc, his eyes say it all. Add to this his signature shaky way of saing “Captain?”, idk if it’s only me but that just carries so much feeling, so much angst, so many unspoken emotions right there. If Levi’s thoughts on Eren made me fall in love with Ereri in the first place then Eren’s body language when it comes to Levi made me fuckin smitten over them (i kid u not honestly this ship is one of the very few things that actually give me the will to live)

• Hope and Strength : Honestly, I love Levi and Eren’s roles as humanity’s strength and humanity’s hope because this actually speaks volumes about their relationship. If Erwin gave Levi’s strength a dimension then Eren gave his strength meaning. Their roles in canon show their inter-dependence. After all, what is strength without hope? I don’t remember who first pointed this out, but someone said that this is the very concept the Survey Corps logo alludes to. The Wings of Freedom are shown as blue and white because royal blue represents strength and white represents hope. So the Wings are symbolical of what Levi and Eren individually stand for as well as signifies their dependence on each other.

• Levi’s role as Eren’s guardian : I love him both as Eren’s protector and his mentor. (oh also let’s not forget Eren had a little crush on him,,how adorable 🥺)

We’ve seen Levi giving it his all to protect Eren multiple times. And when he couldn’t protect him during the Battle of Trost because of his injury we see him clenching his fists in frustration. Again, in RTS we see Levi quite baffled when Erwin orders him to protect the horses and not protect Eren. Also in the RTS when Eren got flung on top of the wall, Levi was visibly concerned and then when Erwin couldnt come up with a plan that’d guarantee their survival, he quickly suggested that BOTH Erwin and Eren flit from there. This goes on to show how Levi thinks Erwin and Eren are EQUALLY important for ensuring humanity’s survival. It is evident from here that his liege and his mentee both belong on the same pedestal and he’d do anything to save them. Levi similarly comes up with an abrupt suggestion again in Ch 112 to save Eren when the Soldiers informed him that the higher authorities plan on having Eren eaten. Even though he clearly disapproved of Eren’s actions in Liberio, even though Levi himself always adhered to rules and discipline, he still had faith in Eren and he’d never accept such a ridiculous order, even if it came from Pixis. (plus he remembers the first time he met Eren which sort of makes us realize that Levi still sees himself as Eren’s protector🥺)

Next comes Levi’s role as a mentor in Eren’s life. I think his words of advice to Eren is an important factor that made him the man he is today. Levi encouraged him to believe in himself, he acknowledged his willpower, appreciated his relentless drive for freedom and even goaded him on to make important choices by himself. The recent happenings in the manga made a lot of people say that Eren follows the principle of “the end justifies the means” but originally, to quote Levi: “nobody can dictate you on what is the right path or what is the wrong one till you arrive at a certain outcome resulting from your choice”. I think one of the major reasons why Levi kicked Eren in the Marley arc again was because the outcome that Eren caused (at least according to Levi and the SC) was making Paradis the enemy of the whole enemy of the world and also a mountain of civilian deaths. This is just head canon but I think Levi was mainly disappointed because Eren didn’t seek his approval (unlike in the Reiss Chapel incident where he urged Levi to have faith in him before jumping into action of his own volition). Him comparing Eren with the underground thugs also makes me assume that he was genuinely hurt because he thought Eren has become complacent to the point where he doesn’t see Levi as a mentor anymore. But, right after his voice trails with the “you too..”, we see Eren looking up at him with the same beaming eyes. Curious why he’d do that at that instant. Also, during Serum Bowl, Eren used his height as the trump card to tower upon Levi. It was the only time he actually defied Levi and he did manage to look 100 percent domineering. But, post time skip Eren grew in leaps and bounds and he could easily repeat that but HE DID NOT. In fact, he utters his usual “Captain..?” and his eyes also have the same look. So maybe he still sees Levi as his inspiration but he cannot express that because he’s in a bind and has to act distant and cold with everyone. After all in Chapter 121, in the memory panel, we did see him recalling that very moment when Levi first advised him on making independent choices. His role as the mentor in Eren’s life is therefore once again reinforced by Isayama and I think that adds substantially to their wonderful platonic dynamic.                                        ____________xxx___________

I probably couldn’t fit them all and even this is a terrible briefing. It is all so disarrayed and incoherent. I didn’t even get the time to attach pictures. Ugh, I’m so sorry anon ;-; I wish Uni would spare me some time to rant properly about my precious babies >.

[benhardyisdaddy]

Love Of My Life - Part 15

MASTERLIST 

(hello bbys its been a while for a chap so im SORRY but i hope u like this one xoxo also, this pic reminds me of y/n and johns wedding day w roger so im posting it lolol) 

Word Count: 1,532

Dear Roger, 

My best mate. The one person I can go to when I need something, because I know you’ll never turn me away. That’s exactly why I'm writing this letter to you - I need something. I’m dying. You already know that. Everyone does. It’s unavoidable and closer than I expected. My darling, darling y/n will be alone and by herself. Knowing her, she won’t take care of herself when I’m gone. That’s why I need you. Do you remember that night when you drunkenly apologized to me on our wedding night? You were sobbing hard as you confessed your feelings for y/n, telling me how bad of a friend you were for feeling that way towards your best friends now wife. I just need you to know that I was never upset or angry at you. I know exactly how you feel, as I am hopelessly in love with her too. You can’t help who you fall in love with, Roger. That’s why I need your help. I’ll be gone soon and y/n will shut every person in her life out. She will need someone to comfort her and, well, make her believe in love again. That’s why I know you’re perfect for this. Make my wife know what love feels like again. Don’t worry, I have a plan. 

I’m writing letters for her and you will secretly deliver them to her on specific dates, which I have marked down. There’s events that follow with every letter - go with her. Please. Show her that life is worth living, even though I’m gone. Love her, Roger. Love her like you did on the night we married. You’re the only person I trust with this task, because I know you, Roger Taylor. You give 100% of yourself and that’s what she needs. I know deep down in my heart that she will feel the same way. 

The letters are all ready, I just need you to please let me know your answer. I will give you them and the set dates for when you should place them in the mailbox. I’d say I owe you my life, but you surely don’t want that. Just promise me you’ll take care of her in ways I can’t. She deserves every piece of happiness that this world has to offer. I have a feeling you agree. 

Your Best Friend, 

John 

***

Roger knew. He was the one who was sending the letters out to you. He pretended to be as shocked as you when you received them, but he knew. John asked his best friend to woo his wife when he was gone. You couldn’t believe him. This whole time you were guilty for feeling how you felt with Roger and John was the one behind it. You were confused and hurt and sad. If John were here, he’d get a good ear full about what you thought of his little scheme, but he wasn’t.

You were almost to the airport as the words John had said filled your mind. Open your heart. Open your heart. Love again. Love again. You roll your eyes and look out the window, admiring the beautiful scenery that France had to offer. You left Roger all alone back at the hotel and you were beginning to feel bad. All you can imagine now is the look on his face when you stormed past him and out the door. It wasn’t his fault that John involved him in this. And Roger confessed his feelings for you the night of your wedding!? You couldn’t believe that. 

***

FLASHBACK 

***

Mr. and Mrs. John Deacon. You were finally married to the love of your life and you couldn’t be happier. Everyone you both knew were at the ceremony and now they were all together in a large ballroom for your wedding reception. Everyone was drinking and laughing and having fun until someone clears their throat and introduces the newly weds. A large door opens up and out walks the two of you hand in hand with big goofy grins on your faces. Roger was stood in the back corner, finishing his fourth drink. His fourth ridiculously strong drink that burned his throat with every sip. He was happy for you two, more than happy. He just had this tiny monster of guilt inside of him, eating away. He drunkenly walks forward as John kisses you and walks towards a table with drinks. John spots Roger and smiles widely as he brings him in for a hug. 

“My best man!” he says loudly. “Taking advantage of the drinks are we?” he teases, noticing how drunk Roger already is. 

Usually Roger would laugh and spit a jab back at him, but he doesn’t. He just looks at John with sad eyes - showing him that something’s wrong. 

“Roger?” he asks, now worried. 

“Can we talk?” asks Rog, quietly. 

John nods quickly, a frown on his face. He looks around and spots a door to the far left corner of the room. It’s an exit. The boys make their way outside. It’s pitch black, but the full moon helps light up the night. John leans against the building as Roger sits on a step. His head in hung forward as he ashamedly tells John everything. 

“You’re in love with, y/n?” asks John, trying to understand. 

Roger nods and brings his head up, revealing his tear stained face and tormented eyes. 

“I have been ever since I first met her that night of your date. I hate myself so much for feeling how I do, but I just needed to tell you. I would never act on that, John. Please, believe me. It’s been killing me.” 

“Rog,” says John, sitting next to him. “I’m not angry. You don’t get to decide who you love. I trust you, mate. I can’t blame you for how you feel, I mean look at her.” 

They both laugh and agree with each other. 

“Just know, she loves you as well. We both do. I’m just sorry that this has been bothering you for so long. Don’t ever feel afraid to tell me anything, alright? Ever.” 

Roger smiles and sniffles as he nods. He feels so much better now that John knows. And John not hating him made him feeling even more better. He really did have the best friend ever. 

“Now let’s get back in there and have a blast. Yeah? Let me catch up with you on those drinks.” 

Roger laughs as they stand up. John pulls him forward and hugs him hard once more. Roger holds him close as his eyes threaten to spill. 

“Come one.” whispers John, patting his back. 

They both walk inside and Roger being in love with you was never mentioned again, until now. 

***

You’re boarding your plane and find your seat. You slide all the way over and sit down, looking out the window. You were going back home. Back home to the memories of what was once happiness and love. The last time you felt that was with-

“Roger.” 

Your head snaps over and there in the seat next to you… is John. Your eyes go wide as he sadly smiles. 

“The last time you felt love and happiness wasn’t with me, it was with Roger. You can admit it, love. That’s what I was hoping.” 

You close your eyes and shake your head. 

“You’re not John. You’re not real.” 

“Maybe so,” he starts. “But I’m exactly what you want to hear. Your conscious. The real John would tell you the exact same thing and you know it.” 

You look back over to him and you can’t believe how real he looks. Like he’s really next to you at this moment. You slowly shake your head, tears falling down your cheek. 

“I couldn’t do that to him.” you whisper. 

“Y/n,” he says, making you almost gasp at his voice saying your name again. “I’m dead. Roger’s alive. I wanted this for you. I constructed all of this for you. Don’t give up on me now.” 

“I would never give up on you.” you quietly sob. “Ever.” 

“Then what are you doing on this plane while Roger’s still at the hotel? If that’s not giving up, then I don’t know what is. You have to say it.” 

“Say what?” you ask, not understanding. 

“You have to say it out loud. That you love Roger.” 

“I can’t do that.” you quietly whisper. 

“You have to. It’s what I want.” 

You cry harder for a moment before closing your eyes. You take in a deep breath and calm yourself down. You breathe for a moment and open your mouth. 

“I…” you pause, taking in another deep breath. “I... love Roger.” 

As the words slip from your mouth, it’s like this heavy weight lifted from your chest and you can finally breathe. You exhale and suddenly your eyes fly open. You look over to John and he’s still there with a smile on his face. 

“Now go.” he tells you. 

You smile at him and jump up, grabbing your bag. You apologize to everyone as you make your way off of the plane and to Roger.

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[overdrivels]

The Way to a Heart (16)

<<Chapter 15

“What is the purpose of this establishment?”

“We are a charity restaurant. Excess profit is used to purchase ingredients for delivered meals to underprivileged clients.”

“Define ‘clients’.”

“Clients are establishments and individuals we have made contracts with to provide packaged meals made in-house.”

“Examples of these clients?”

“Orphanages, elderly care centers, missions, and so on. The entirety of our purpose is written in our mission statement which is submitted every year to the necessary authorities to continue our operations.”

“Does this organization operate within the borders of Gibraltar?”

“Our headquarters is located in Gibraltar proper. Our operations extend into neighboring countries. A full list of our clients have been provided in the original documentation package.”

“Roughly how many employees does your organization employ?”

“Three full-time and at least fifteen contractor chefs. We also have volunteers and vendors we regularly engage with.”

The questioning only got harder from there, rapid fire and too specific.

“What regulations does your organization follow?”

“According to the document your organization has provided to the Charity Commission, there are some documents missing. Can you please explain the absence of numbers 24b to 31, and line 46?”

“Is any due diligence conducted on recipients of this charity and donors?”

“What is your familiarity with OFAC?”

“What is your experience with international and domestic fiscal reporting responsibilities?”

“Does your organization donate monetary funds to other organizations?”

“Please provide all files on this list. If you are unable to produce any, please submit a formal explanation.”

“Your financial records show regular payments to specific vendors. Would you please provide a full vendor list and any vendor assessments, contracts, MOUs, SLAs, and other relevant documentation?”

You were working, tucked away in your restaurant office, miles away from the happenings below you, desperately trying to satisfy the auditors and close their case and get back to your normal life of cooking in Watchpoint Gibraltar's kitchen where the agents would undoubtedly be waiting for you and maybe a little angry so you'd have to appease them with a feast of your best offerings and make them smile—

—So how did you end up like this, lying in a bed with a hazy Madam Ziegler fussing over you?

Maybe it's just your imagination, but there's a glow around her and a focus to her eyes like she's going into battle, knowing that she can and will crush anything in her way with an ease that's only natural from years of practice and confidence.

The look of an untouchable hero.

It should awe you and you should reach out just to get even a bit closer to that realm—at least then you'd understand and be able to support them better, but there is no strength in your arms or anywhere else. Not even a scrap of the endless stubbornness or resilience that had carried you through the past few years of life was anywhere to be found.

Instead, a bone-deep weariness settles in your very marrows, bleeding into every little part of you. It pulls at you from beneath the bed, willing you to just surrender and sink into its depths, and even worse, it has your mind in a sluggish mire.

“—untreatedforsolongbutweworryaboutyouespecially since you left so suddenly unfortunately we had to perform some surgery and replace portions of your liver intestines and stomach if zenyatta and lucio weren’t there you would likely have anyway I would like to keep you here for the next six days at the very least the injuries done to your body requires close monitoring to ensure they are hea ling appro priate ly it might be a li tt le w hil e be fore yo u ca n ha ve a ny so li ds—”

You blink slowly at Madam Ziegler, not quite able to tack any meaning to her words or comprehending the gravity of her tone. Her undoubtedly informative speech just rolls off your mind, and luckily, it doesn't seem to perturb her. Instead, she just smiles at you and gives you a gentle pat on the hand. It doesn't feel like anything at all, least of all, assuring.

What are you doing here?

“Ju st get some re st. Let the na no ma chine s do the ir wor k .”

You're not sure if you answer her, but she gives you a tight smile and a squeeze you see more than feel, blinking once, twice...

Then, you hear voices.

“—and we cannot leave the base right now."

"—bummer that Chef's down, I'm really hungry."

The words jerk you out of your sleep—were you sleeping? You don't dwell on that for long as you remember the words that woke you.

Someone's hungry.

You have to get to work.

You fumble with the blanket and tear it off to swing your legs off the bed you were lying on—

Why are you lying on a bed?

—BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP—

There's a pressure somewhere around your arms and chest and stomach.

Wires pop into view. They’re in the way. You yank them until they’re gone.

Your footing is strange.

Why can’t you feel your own feet?

There is a lot of noise ("Oh, shit!" "What are you doing?" “Someone get Mercy!”).

People flood the room—

You need to cook.

—their hands all over you, dragging you backward, away from the door that more people with faces that you think you should recognize are pouring in from and down, down. You’re lifted, you think, and there’s a set of warm brown eyes that look at you with the strangest look and you think you might know who, but you—

“A chef’s purpose iz to serve their customers. Without them, we are nothing.”

Your head jerks to the side, a full body jolt waking you, and you force your crusty eyes open.

It's blindingly dark.

You blink away the strange green and white lights, trying to get your bearings together. Your jaw is stiff. Your skin is tight. But it doesn’t feel like your skin. It’s like you’ve had everything taken out of you and replaced with wiry cotton.

Blinking slowly at the ceiling, you nearly give in to sleep once more, but a question, quiet as can be, nags at you.

What time is it?

The room is too dark to give you any indication of its time and nowhere do you see a clock.

You lift your hand to rub at your face, but a heavy weight resting on your wrist stops you.

A shackle or sorts?

You tug at it. It's tethered to the bed you're lying in.

Why is it there?

It takes longer than it rightfully should for you to piece it together: why are you locked in to the bed? Furrowing your brows at the mechanism, you try to focus on the answer—it should be so clear, but it escapes you. Twice more, you tug your wrist, but you don’t get far.

“'then...a?” The word come out thick, tongue swollen and barely functional. Your jaw hurts. Thirsty.

“How may I assist you, Chef?” she asks, voice water-cool as always. It brings some clarity back, but you still struggle to piece a solid thought together.

“Why…?” You give your arm another clumsy, fruitless tug.

“Do your require medical assistance?”

Do you? Again, you scrunch up your face. It's hard to think when everything feels so vague and your body still feels so sluggish and not-yours.

“...no?” you say finally, unsure.

“You should rest.”

Rest? You never have time to rest. You need to work. This, you're certain of.

“‘time’s it?”

The AI is silent for a moment before she answers, “It's still late. You should rest.”

“Yes, but what time is it?” Your voice is raspy, lacking any of the authority you would've liked.

“Time for bed, Chef.”

A flare of irritation brings your consciousness back into sharper focus, your body feeling more like itself, a familiar strength in the form of heat slipping it's way into your marrows.

“What time is it, Athen—”

The question is swallowed up by a round of violent coughs that tear into your throat and stomach. It hurts—it hurts but it doesn't. Something is pulling and it feels like it should be painful, but the sharpness is not all there. There’s a beep somewhere in the room, but it’s lost amidst your suffering.

When you catch some semblance of your breath, you reluctantly lean back into your pillows, dizzy from the ordeal. The room swims and the bed rocks, jostling any questions out of your weary brain and sends you off into a stumbling sleep.

It's morning when you wake next. Angela—she refused to let you call her ‘Madame’ while you were under her case—is the first person who you see. After a round of questions and a quick chance to freshen up from your bed—it's unbelievable how nice a hot, wet towel feels against your skin—she gives you her prognosis: another week of bed rest.

She doesn't go into detail about how you ended up here, instead she asks for your account.

“Do you feel comfortable with letting me know what happened?” Angela asks.

'What happened…?’ You scrunch your face as you try to recall the events between now and whatever your last memory is. Angela nods at you in earnest, and your eyes drift, sweeping past your blankets and to the wall.

“I...I was coming back…”

You were the last person to leave your restaurant after the auditors left. Asim tried to get you to stay over at his place but you told him that you were going to be staying longer. Somehow, he seemed a little antsy about the whole situation and asked Argus to watch over you. You took a small nap on the office couch that you've made your bed for the past few weeks. When you woke up, you had decided to go home to Overwatch.

Though, you're not sure why or how but when you tried to leave, Argus wasn't reacting to you. It was like she was malfunctioning…?

You rub your forehead. What happened after?

“You don't have to force yourself if you can't remember. Please, take it easy.”

“No, I'm sure I can just…”

You decided to sneak back. You had been gone too long and it really bothered you. It was very late, but not early enough for the line cooks to begin their prep for the meals that are supposed to be delivered. Asim would likely be there, setting up the space. You can’t risk going there just to get some ingredients—you’ll have to make do with whatever you have in the Watchpoint’s kitchen. So you took your truck and rushed back. Yes, that was it.

“I opened the door,” you murmur. “I walked into the kitchen and then they were there.”

“Who are you? The ki—”

They opened fire. They didn't even say anything.

“I don't know who they were. But they had...they had guns. I think they shot me.”

There was blinding pain. It was really burning hot and electrifyingly numb. The next thing you know is that you were falling. And then there was nothing.

No, there was something else.

Someone came behind you a little while later.

You're not sure who, but there was a warm light. It still hurt. But it was warm and you remembered yellow and red.

“I think someone was with me? But I don't remember a lot after that.”

Madame Ziegler wears a tight expression as she listens. She forces a smile that feels a little wrong. “That's all right.”

Confused, you ask, “But how? No one...has access to the Cellar.”

“...”

“Who gave the that person access?” The normal anger did not come, instead it is substituted with more exhaustion and mind-numbing confusion. There are only a small number of people with access to that door, and the outside entrance to the Cellar was particularly well hidden, and it was set up on a completely separate network than the one Athena controlled specifically to prevent access by non-kitchen personnel.

So how…?

The good doctor did not answer. Instead, the door behind her opens, revealing Soldier: 76 and an all too familiar red.

“I can answer that.”

“J—”

“Cat's outta the bag, anyway.”

Before you could become even more confused, Soldier: 76 brings his hands to his mask. There are two loud clicks and a quiet hiss of hydraulics. The red fades away and then all you see is a flawless blue that is as familiar as it is haunting.

The world falls away, plunging you into a floating dream.

Your voice comes out in a strangled whisper. “...strike...Commander?”

Jack Morrison.

He nods, seeming none too happy about admitting it. “Former.”

Your mouth hangs open as the ghost of rosy-memories past sits down beside you. He’s much older-looking now, the golden hair turned silver and eyes so weary. “How?”

“It’s a long story,” he grumbles. “But I’m more interested in hearing about yours.”

He holds up a familiar looking tablet—your tablet, buzzing away merrily in his hand, the name “Argus” flashing across the screen like an alarm.

Your heart seizes.

How long have you been out? Why is Argus calling?

“Can I...can I take this call?”

Soldier and Dr. Ziegler look at each other, a silent conversation held between them with the slightest of nods and shakes before the good doctor waves her hand at your tablet with a smile. “Please go ahead.”

You reach for it but once it’s in your lap—361 calls missed, 677 messages, Argus Calling—all breath leaves your body and the weight of the tablet multiplies a thousand-fold.

You don't see Soldier and Dr. Ziegler nod or gestures that are made.

Soldier: 76 stands. “We’ll be outside.”

"Call us if you need anything," Angela offers.

You don't hear either of them, the vibration of the call buzzing too loudly in your ears competing with the nervous racing of your heart. A cold sweat breaks across your skin and you can't stop the trembling of your hand.

The call stops. A momentary relief washes over you, drowning you back in the drowsy ease from before, and you let out a breath.

362 missed calls.

You jump when the tablet buzzes again.

Fear prickles your skin and bones. The shaking, the lump in your throat, the hitch in your breath returns with a vengeance. Nausea makes a home in your stomach, nestling deep against your ribs.

Argus calling.

Again.

You have to pick up. You have to. You have obligations. You have duties. You are her boss. You can't not answer it.

A hand wraps around yours and you turn your head to see it’s Dr. Ziegler, a gentle smile shining on you.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to," she assures you, hand warm and firm against your own. You look at her eyes, see the reflection of yourself, afraid and small and so very weak.

Is that what you've become?

What happened to you in the time you've been unconscious?

Is this really the look of someone who should be supporting the work of heroes?

You tighten your lips together and try to pull together a smile, tightening your lips to keep your churning emotions from spilling out.

"I'll be fine. Thank you, Madame Ziegler."

"It's Angela for you, Chef," she reminds you, teasing but still stern. "We'll both be right outside. You're safe here."

You nod, facing the tablet again, pressing the 'answer' button with enough force to make it shake and to keep yourself from backing away. It's done.

The call connects.

"Hello."

All Soldier: 76 and Angela could hear since leaving was the muffled speaking of whoever was on the other line. They both stand with their backs to the wall on either side of your door. It should concern them that you haven't spoken—or so they believe—but Athena assures them that you're fine.

After a while of this, Soldier suggests, "I'll take it from here. You should rest."

"And what are you planning, former Strike Commander?"

He grimaces. "Nothing that isn't for everyone's good."

She raises an eyebrow at him.

"It's important."

After a moment's deliberation, she says, "Very well."

Angela gives him a look, one he's long associated with something along the lines of: while I do not want to do this and do not agree, I will go along with this, but if something happens, so help me, I'm never trusting you again.

Slowly, she retreats down the hall and back into the room she had made into her office.

Breathing a sigh, Soldier: 76 rolls his shoulders and presses his back harder against the door. In time, the conversation slowly escalates into a one-sided argument.

"—you forgot your obligations!"

"You sold me out to Talon!"

"We told them not to do anything to you—"

"And you trusted them?! How could you—"

"We were forced to make a choice: the information or Asim's life. We chose Asim’s life. What about you? Which do you value more? Overwatch or us?"

"I—don't, you can't—!" A noise of strangled frustration. "You can't just ask me that. I’m not—!”

“They came after us!” another voice, deeper, interjects. “Then there was a—a fucking reporter who knew—he knew! We had to talk!”

“A reporter!? Are you kidding me? What did you—”

He listens to you argue with your colleagues, choking on your conflicting interests and bleeding heart, and waits until a shout and the smashing of a tablet invites him back in to you with your face in your hands and tablet sparking pathetically on the ground across from your bed. You glare at him from behind your hand, but its effects are lost.

"Get out."

"I remember you had better manners than this. Don't tell me I'm getting old now." He takes up a seat beside you even as you refuse to look at him. "Athena."

"Yes, Soldier: 76? How may I be of assistance?"

"Initiate maximum privacy protocols. Whatever happens in this room, stays."

There are several beeps and then the distinct lack of humming that is more disconcerting than it is comforting. The disjointed crackling of a screen, the one you threw, and your heavy breathing, but little else can be heard, proof of the technology that blankets this room.

He watches you intently as the silence and his presence slowly unnerves you. Soldier’s patience pays off when you begin to fidget.

"I messed up," you choke out finally, quiet like a scolded child. “I'm sorry.”

Soldier looks down at his fists for a moment and sighs. One heavy hand rests between your shoulder blades, and you fold forward, clutching at your mouth with a gasp.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”

He pretends that those aren’t tears dripping down, allowing you to lean into his shoulder while he stares past your head at the empty wall, and waits for the sobbing to crescendo and slowly, surely, start dying.

Just how many times in his life has he done this, and just when did he stop feeling anything? There’s only a dull ache in his chest, negligible in comparison to the first time he joined the army, having lost one of his battle buddies, one who just talked about how he was going to go and marry his girl when he returns and how he was saving just to make her parents happy and show he was responsible, to a lucky—a damn lucky—shot that ricocheted off of a steel panel. He didn’t go to the army psychologist until he was physically dragged there, indignant and yelling, by other members of his squad. Even then, he couldn’t let go of the dog tag, still blood stained, whose chain was still wrapped tight around his wrist or of the burning hot feeling that devoured all others.

Now, in the face of your breaking dreams, he can muster none of that.

“Start from the beginning. The very beginning. From what you did during the Fall and how you ended up back here. All of it. Can you do that?”

He watches you breathe, stuttering and shallow, voice breaking in gasps and sobs.

“Yes. I—It was when, when the Grand Mesa incident happened. Head Chef Richard fire—fired us. All twenty-seven of us without warning. I didn’t know what to do and Head Chef disappeared.”

You look up and straight ahead as though replaying the memory in your mind’s eye. He knows that look, seen it on too many soldiers as they rewatch and relive their lives on a reel.

“I kind of, went looking for him. No one knew where he went or what he was doing. But I got a referral to work at this place in Shenzhen by...by Pastissiere Woo where I took an apprenticeship for a little while. She said to train my skills while looking. Her family ran this really famous sweets place that she was supposed to take over before she ran off to Overwatch, so it was rough when she got back.

“Then I went around to Hong Kong, Macau, Laos, then I started going around to Europe because—because some of the other chefs still had lives and places to go and—I went, cooked and took short apprenticeships at different places to earn money. Then...then I met up with Argus Twenty to build up a charity restaurant.”

"Tell me about the restaurant."

"It was built in Gibraltar. Cœur d'Artichaut. It's still here. Rizy-looking, but we have a warehouse dedicated to cooking meals for people who didn't have any. We made it to attract wealthier people so they would give more money to the cause."

You then turn to Soldier, eyes wide.

“After Overwatch went down, I saw so many people who went hungry. And, and you know Head Chef’s mottos, right? Head Chef always, always made sure people ate.”

You take a loud breath and in your best imitation of the man Jack once knew as the very definition of ‘tough love’, you say, “‘It iz a chef’s responsibility to take care of their customers. Cook ze best food for them. Love them with all our being. We chefs exist for them. We die for them.’ So I did. I tried. We...Argus and I teamed up. She had the money, I sort of had the know-how. We always, always believed in Overwatch. Always.

“And then Asim came, helped us run our operations and our business really took off, I thought I was going to stay there forever if Overwatch didn’t come back—we had a bunch of contractor chefs we hire to make the meals we deliver and some truckers, and Asim was good at organizing that stuff. Asim...didn’t really want anything to do with Overwatch like me or Argus, said he left it behind with an old life or something like that.”

"Who is Asim? What division?"

You go silent for a moment, and your voice drops to a tight whisper, like it's a secret you aren't supposed to tell. It probably is. "...Asim Singh is his name now. He...used to be Tanuja Deshmukh, in...I don’t remember which division, Operations, I think? Tanuja...ran away from his family. They wouldn't accept him for who he was. He finally got enough money around the time of the Fall to...become Asim. He said he didn't want anything to do with Overwatch, but I don't think he ever forgot or let go of it."

The pieces of a puzzle he didn’t know he was putting together click cleanly into place.

“And Argus?” he asks.

“Argus? She’s an Omnic with some money from playing around with stocks, and was a previous sponsor of Overwatch. She worked in finance. Regular compliance or something like that.”

“Regulatory compliance?”

“...yeah.” You fall silent for a moment, train of thought effectively broken. Jack looks up for a moment, past your head to ask himself when he’ll ever get over the habit of interjecting at inappropriate times or saying the wrong things at the wrong times. Probably never.

“And then…?”

“...Recall happened.” The air becomes heavier, more solemn and calmer than before. Your face falls downward, shoulders falling forward.

“Asim...Asim still had his communicator from Overwatch. He never—he probably never gave up on Overwatch either. He didn’t like talking about his time here. But I knew, I knew he still cared. So when I heard him listening to Winston’s message, I decided I was going to help—he wasn't going to come back, you know, he said so. Asim and Argus said it was a bad idea. I know that. I know, but I wanted—I wanted so badly to help you guys because I saw...I couldn’t forget what I saw, I can still hear them begging, some of them couldn’t even talk. They were just that hungry. And, and—”

Voice rising, you look to him again, eyes wild. “An army marches on its stomach, right? You are what you eat, so, so...so Head Chef would always say the agents needed good food made with love because of what you guys do. You’re fighting, you’re tired, you’re hungry, and, and—you need—”

“Breathe.”

Taking his orders and a few gulping breaths, you again look down to your shaking hands. “So I contacted Winston. Made him an offer. Told him I will stay and cook. He said it’s a great idea, but they don’t have money to pay me or run their operations. I told him...I told him I don’t need to be paid if I can just help. I told him...I will give him the money.”

You shake your head.

“Of course he said no. I didn’t give up. I—I told him that I could collect the money from the old Overwatch donors.”

Jack closes his eyes, squeezing them shut, knowing what’s about to come. It doesn’t make it any easier to hear though. Automatically, pieces of contingency plans begin to formulate in his head—minimize the risk, mitigate the backlash, protect yourself—the most immediate ones to form are the ones where they throw you to the wolves and let you take the fall. He’s then reminded of Petras.

“He said no, that it would put them in danger. That’s why I told him I’ll make them donate to my restaurant—it’s a charity, so it’s not unusual for donations to come in. We'll make our operations bigger, flashier so it will justify the sudden influx. Then I’ll redistribute the money to Overwatch secretly, pretending the agents are vendors or contractors. He can check the payments to make sure they’re right.

"I said I’d even bring the food here to pretend that I’m holding classes or something to justify the costs and extra food. Since Argus used to work in finance and Asim used to do operations, I was so sure this would work. The donors are not blamed, we hide the fact that Overwatch exists, and the agents get to eat. It was perfect. I told Winston it would work.”

Solemnly, Jack finishes the story: “And he accepted.”

You nod.

Bone-deep weariness crashes down and envelops Jack like a mudslide. He knew Winston had blindly agreed to certain things that he should not have—not because of bad intentions on anyone’s part, but because of his inexperience, he failed to see the situation from a much higher level.

If Jack were in Winston's shoes, he would have refused and absolutely prevented you from contacting them. As it were, Winston had welcomed you so deeply into the fold, he refused to let anyone else tell him otherwise, and you, being so naïve in business and these sorts of transactions, have dug a far deeper grave for yourself than Overwatch has.

“Yes. So we did that. I stopped working at the restaurant, made Asim the head chef and Argus the general manager. By then, we were a little bit well-known, so I issued a public statement that I wanted to focus more on...management stuff, but in reality, I came here, lived in the old dorms in the Cellar, cooked for everyone, went back every once in a while to get supplies and food. No one knew except us three.”

Suddenly, your hands fist themselves into the sheets, jaw clenched and shoulders shaking.

“But then! Somehow Talon found out! They threatened Asim. They knew his old life and threatened him. They made him tell them what I was doing. They made—Argus fucking called them—the auditors on us. So that I couldn't be in the kitchen. So Talon can come in and, and!!”

“Breathe,” Jack says again, this time more firmly. He presses his hand onto your back once more, a solid reminder of where you are and who you were speaking with. “Tell me. What happened right before you came back.”

“I was dealing with auditors are my restaurant all the way up until that night. They wanted our documents and, I don’t know. They were definitely trying to figure out what we’re doing. Argus did a lot of the paperwork. I talked. Asim ran the restaurant. I, it was around 2AM when I left the restaurant. I tried to come back here. I took my truck and drove back. I went through the tunnels and came up and then, I guess it was Talon, they were just in the kitchen. They got me.”

You shake your head, teeth practically chattering from the pressure. “They came and tried to fuck with my staff, with my restaurant, with Overwatch—I, I—I can’t!”

An angry and strangled sound erupts from your throat and the bed trembles with the force of your fists slamming into them before you then crumple beneath Jack’s hands. Deep red pools through your bandages, staining the white sheets, promoting him to call for Angela.

Outside the door, Hanzo removes his ear from the sliver in the wall where the sound protection is at its weakest, takes his newfound knowledge and marches straight to Winston’s office, hellbent on answers.

Hanzo digests the information that he forced out of Winston with a modest accompaniment of alcohol, the very last of the bit that Mei got him, the rim of the sake bottle resting heavily against his lips.

Money laundering.

What a classic, textbook example of it: using a restaurant to obfuscate the true origins of dirty money. Normally, businesses like this are caught easily—you can easily determine the reasonable cash inflows and outflows by the number of customers, employees, the prices of dishes, rents, and loans.

But combine that with a charity and cryptocurrency? That complicates matters even more for those investigating. Hanzo is sure there are even stricter regulations regarding charities, but it’s not a topic he can say that he is well-versed in. Whatever you were doing with your restaurant, you seemed to have been doing it well.

The bottle tilts and he takes a slow, contemplative drag of sake.

What good is Overwatch when it runs on dirty money? Even if the money isn't gained by illegal means, on paper, it's still fraud. How is this organization supposed to regain its legitimacy if it resorts to such dirty means? How will it gain the trust of the people it’s trying to protect like this? This current Overwatch is digging itself deeper and deeper into a grave and will take everything with it at the rate it’s going.

If there was one thing that his father taught him, it was not to commit two crimes at the same time. And Overwatch broke that rule right off the bat.

What a mistake this was.

What a mistake Overwatch is.

Hanzo makes a half-hearted attempt to reach his Storm Bow, but thinks better of it. A weapon does not go well with drink, no matter his intentions. So he slumps down onto the corner of his bed until his elbows are on his knees, head hung loose, and his bottle hanging precariously between his fingers.

He knows about money-laundering and the type of operation it needs to be.

The Omnic Crisis had multiplied the Shimada Clan’s net worth in a snap. Hanzo’s father was still young then, forced to learn on the fly how to manage such a huge estate. The funds they gained from the illegal arms trade had to be hidden somehow. Although they controlled a good majority of Hanamura, they were not immune from the law.

Real estate was an obvious way to hide the money—have leases inflated with an insider real estate company who takes their cut and funnels the rest back to the Shimada clan. Even more elaborate was buying different shops and raising the rent and setting up assistance programs which shopkeepers and homeowners could participate in and receive aid. To further this plot, the Shimada clan also collected 'taxes' in the name of this assistance program, where they 'donated' large amounts of money to.

It created its own self-sustainable economy where the Shimada clan's money kept getting mixed into the community and hid their trails from the woefully ineffective police force of Japan. As long as they paid their taxes and kept things neat on the surface, the Shimadas were untouchable.

If Hanzo were being honest, he didn't quite fully understand the extent and depth these illegal money-laundering schemes went. There were bookkeepers, civilians that were double agents, corrupt auditors, different ledgers and participants; he couldn't have understood it at anything other than a high-level, trusting the system to just do the job its been doing for so many decades before him. Even he, groomed to inherit this massive operation and educated well beyond a normal person’s means, could not grasp the full magnitude of these acts.

But you?

You're one person with nary an ally.

Your last ones sold you out to Talon for the sake of protecting your dream, and you've been denied your purpose, condemned to bed rest that you’ve been denying yourself for months on end.

Everything you've worked for fell apart and you probably have no one to blame except yourself.

He takes another long drink, tilting his head back as though the sake would go straight there instead of settling in his empty stomach.

You challenge the laws that be like it's your right, skirting the system and organizing a force all on your own that would potentially be the beginning of what could be considered the same difficulty as moving Heaven and Earth and bearing the burden of a fear and ever-crushing weight of enormous responsibility where not only lives, but an entire organization who also bears the weight of the world, rests on your weary shoulders. Such daring acts will make even the Heavens quiver at the mere thought, but you forge forward with your body and the fruits of your labor and friendships as the groundwork for what is yet to come (and at this rate might not even come, but you had believed and so you did it all).

Hanzo can only conclude one thing.

You’re a fool.

But you’re an earnest fool with a good heart. A fool who deserves to be rewarded handsomely for your futile, larger-than-life, and plain herculean efforts. A fool who deserves to be free of the constant weary look you wear and the weight of the ghosts of your responsibilities. A fool who deserves to be cared for, to be loved, and fed, and happy in the same manner that you try to ensure for them.

Outside Hanzo’s door, Mei jumps when she hears the sound of a slam.

Hanzo stares at the wall, eyes wide, his fist aching. His heart pounds fiercely in his chest with two heavy realizations.

One: your life may very well be a late parallel to his.

Two: he cares.

He slumps even lower against the wall, nearly flat against his bed, floored by the knowledge that he had not been ready to receive. His entire body goes numb, mind drunkenly ambling through his newfound thoughts, scarcely believing the conclusion he had led himself to.

No, no.

You're just a chef.

Just a normal, regular person.

An admirable person. A kind person. Stubborn and strong.

What would his father say if he were still alive?

He would have likely wanted Hanzo's partner to be one of powerful standing. There were plenty of other rival clans in Japan, some that he was in good standing with and had enough power to influence the marriage arrangements so that anyone he chose would be more than happy to join hands with him.

But he had none of that now and nothing to offer anyone.

That was a huge thorn in his side; he had even less of a standing than a chef.

A chef who managed to run two businesses at once, tried to deceive the Gibraltar and British government by yourself, committed an impressive amount of fraud, and cooks absurdly acceptable meals, and…!

He breathes a heavy, heavy sigh and decides there is not enough alcohol on this base for him to continue this train of thought, and vows to bury everything including the little spark of potential disaster deep inside himself.

By morning, he will stop being impressed with your idiocy and return to figuring out a way to get Overwatch out of the six meter grave it has dug itself into.

Chapter 17>>

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about ya girl 💐🌈

Rules: Tag 15 people you want to know better.

I was tagged by: @ayzis thanks natalie! ✨

Relationship Status: my phone’s camera roll is all pictures of my cat

Favourite colours: all the pastel colours!!

Lipstick or Chapstick: lipstick but chapstick’s more important obv

Favourite Food: chicken pasanda (I kind of consider myself a vegetarian but i’d die for this n prawn puri) and milk chocolate

Song(s) stuck in my head: it’s mostly yo yo honey singh - dil chori (yo yo honey singheeee), zack knight, jasmin walia - bom diggy diggy, guru randhawa - kaun nachdi (could the sonu ke titu ki sweety soundtrack have been any catchier?? goddamn), monsta x - livin’ it up and anitta - medicina honourable mentions to those who also tend to pop up in my head when i’m trying to sleep: ikon - killin’ me, blur - tender, troye sivan ft. ariana grande - dance to this, seungri ft. b.i - mollado

Last movie I watched: lipstick under my burkha (but i’m in the middle of watching cidade de deus)

Top 3 TV shows: i’m a tv shows junkie so choosing only 3 is too hard lmao. my fave show of all time is Gilmore Girls, but I also adore that 70s show (minus the last season) & sense8 (worth mentioning: skins, broad city, b99, shameless, a:tla, w two worlds, jane the virgin, stranger things, f.r.i.e.n.d.s)

Books I’m currently reading: reasons to stay alive by matt haig, ariel by sylvia plath, six of crows by leigh bardugo

Last thing I googled: homemade mask for dry and curly hair 🤘😔

Time: 03:33am (im gonna finish this tomorrow though)

How many blankets do you sleep in: one all year round, even if i’m dying from the heat I can’t sleep without a blanket 

Dream Trip: india, all of europe, japan, new zealand, australia, costa rica, brazil, hong kong, south africa... tbh i want to go pretty much everywhere 🙏

Anything you really want: knowing what to do with my life, not having to worry about money

Age: 22 (the fact that I can’t relate anymore when dean sings “she’s 21 now”...tragic)

Birthplace: south of belgium

Current time: 13:59

Drink you had last: latte macchiato

Easiest person to talk to: not even myself bc im a dumbass (ok thats a lie -not the dumbass part- i can think of two friends)

Favourite song(s):

i’m gonna keep it to kpop:

D (half moon) by dean ft. gaeko, 

view, tell me what to do by shinee, 

I am you, you are me by zico, 

just chill, white tshirt by jonghyun, 

airplane by ikon, 

in my dream by hanhae ft. gaeko, 

baby baby, sentimental, air, fool by winner, 

all the way up, hands up, honeymoon by b.a.p, 

am 4:44 by yongguk, 

save me, road/path, spring day, run by bts, 

her by block b, 

blue moon by hyolyn, 

teenager, moon u by got7, 

thinking about chu by sam kim ft. loco, 

cheese & wine, martini blue by dpr live, 

destroyer, all in by monsta x, 

paradise by millic ft. fanxychild, 

yes no maybe by suzy, 

nobody else by junho,,, 

there’s more but i’m gonna stop here 🙈

Grossest memory: it’s actually so gruesome I don’t feel comfortable writing it lol. umm what else... a couple summers ago I was smoking by myself while looking at the night sky and I started feeling sick out of nowhere and then I vomited....that was pretty damn yucky (if you’re reading this and you’re underrage 🤓....don’t smoke kids. or like, be careful about it (shshdbjf idk what i’m saying))

Hogwarts house: hufflepuff 

In love?: I barely remember what having a crush feels like lmao...🧐

Jealous of people?: jealous, no. envious, however....yeaaaah 😕 i’m trying to work on it

Killed someone?: i’ve killed exactly zero (0) people

Love at first sight or walk by again?: love at first sight is nice only in fiction and even then I tend to roll my eyes at it lmao. you’ve got to get to know someone before you can truly come to love them

Middle name: Keeva (I guess my parents were like if we’re gonna write her first name in the french way let’s at least give her an irish middle name or whateva)

Number of siblings: 0

One wish: one day I wanna experience being at least a semi-functioning human being. and I want to be truly happy 

Person you last called: I never call people but I had to do an Adult Phone Call earlier, and not to be dramatic but I wanted to d*e

Questions you’re asked the most: if i’m gonna start school again, or basically just what the hell I plan to do with my life. also “your last name...?” followed by by a “r u dumb” look every time I have tell my last name bc its english and here people use it as a first name. as if I don’t know what my last name is gmksndkf I hate

Reasons to smile: uhhhhh the fact that i’ve music in my life... and as i’m writing this i’m talking to someone rly lovely at the same time! @glasses-and-bandana-s on devrait faire un squad des belges mdr

Song you last sang: some belgian/french songs in the shower lmao (which I dont usually listen to but that’s all my stepsisters love and after spending time with them it gets stuck in my head ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) so that’s marwa loud - bad boy, damso - bruxellesvie, dadju - bob marley, sous contrôle ft. niska, lartiste ft. caroliina - mafiosa, stuff like that

Time you woke up: 8:50 after having slept just a couple hours  💀

Underwear color: red

Vacation destination: I?? for some reason really want to go to ibiza right now (it doesnt help that my stepsisters go there a lot bc they can stay at their aunt’s...and i’m just stuck in the middle of nowhere 😂) or greece!! put me in delphi, give me money to occasionally buy food and alcohol (what? i’m belgian), and just leave me there for a week. also I will need a supply of lipstick. not saying what for.

Worst habit: procrastinatinggggg, god do I procrastinate!! even at 12 I would wait until 1am to start studying (and do my homework right before class lol), and nothing has changed I still wait until the last second to do anything

X-rays?: I’ve had a few because i’m a complete disaster... the last one was of my head lmao

Zodiac signs: gemini sun/venus, taurus moon/mercury/mars, virgo rising (i’m putting this out there but I don’t really know what it all means lmao)

i’m tagging: @seoktjin @fatescenario @chanuwu @http-lance @glasses-and-bandana-s @alycestark @justforyoump3 @killingmemv @sghoneygirl @jinhuwuan @linearplanes @je0nified @ddudu2x @reallyreally @mxno @jijagi if any of you feel like doing it  💫✨  

[tumblunni]

OH FUCK U GUYS SHOULD I BUY ALL THE KINDGOM HEARTS IN A ONCENESS???

Holy jesus i knew they did hd ps4 ports of the playstation games but they ALSO added all the final mix content that engkishspeaking fans never got during my childhood? And they ALSO remade chain of memories entireky in 3d with Very Animated Ice Dad?? And they ALSO remade BBS despite it not needing it nearly as much as the old games and thet ALSO remade friggin dream drop distance which came out on a goddamn current gen console?? Like they seriously just made a non portable version?? Now all the spinoffs are on the same console at last?? Why did you not just do this in the first place?? I mean the psp and 3ds games were basically ps2 equivelant graphics and disc space anyway...

Oh and fuckin ALLLLSOOOOO

Also the final mixes of all of those! Also a movie version of the plot of khux! And also Coded and Days, which is a really big shame cos Coded is indeed sparse enough on content to deserve it but Days was my FAVOURITE GAME and it sucks its the only one that didnt get remade! I mean its in the same spinoff category as bbs and com, its not a cheapo mess like coded. Nothing else in the series deserves to be shoved in the Coded bin, even khux at least has better plot even if the backtracking and lootbox shit makes it harder to get to it...

Anyway ALSO a random new sidestory with Aqua going thru like one dungeon or somethin?? I dunno?? Its like a glorified tech demo for kh3, its just 'hey fuckin look what we can do visually on a proper ps4 game' and wow how have i never fuckin heard of this it looks so pretty!! I mean i dont know if its even more than 5 hours or somethin but.. Pretty!! And apparantly you get unlockable costumes for her or somethin? I hope they keep that feature in kh3! Itd rock if it wasnt just the main character too, and we could dress up riku and kairi and goofy and donald and roxas and axel and every the friends :3 new secret to how they defeat xehanort: slap a bow on his damn head

ALSO ALSO

All of this is available in one big bundle pack for £90 which ALSO contains literally kh3. THIS IS HOW THEYRE HANDLING PREORDERS?? THATS SUCH A GOOD WAY TO HANDLE PREORDERS!! Get a discounted price on this new game but while youre waiting for it you get to enjoy an (also discounted) giant fuckin 300 hours memory lane compilation of every damn thing from the last 15 years in one beautiful updated package. Holy fuck its like they made this for ME SPECIFICALLY!this is the perfect way to get people back into the franchise who dropped off in The Great KH3 Wait cos they couldnt afford all the damn million portables needed to gather that Dank Lore. God fuckin hell it cost more than the price of this bundle just to play any one of those games individually on some stupid retro machine i bought exclusively for that one damn game. THAT PSP STILL ROTS IN MY KITCHEN CUPBOARD YO

So

So so so so so

Guys

Please give me permission to buy this

Or like please convince me not to waste my money if you think i'd waste my money??

I really just DONT KNOW! ive been out of the fandom for so long and my last experience was really hatting BBS and feeling horribly out of place as everyone else raved about it being the best thing ever. And i know NOTHING about what kh3 is gonna be or whether its even possible for me to get back into the fandom and like.. Care about it at all again. I just got fuckin fatigued with it and my teenage years were like me clinging on to the edge of a cliff by my fingernails begging everyone to believe me that Its Still Good, Honestly, Its Worth It while square enix is up there all LONG LIVE THE KING and they push me off. Into a stampede of PSPs. Somehow.

And then aaargh i know i literally only came back to the fandom because organization xiii fuckin eternally holds my heart in their lil grabby hands. It was indeed a good nostalgic moment remembering how i loved them! And getting a new appreciation for Vexen and being blown away by how much he should have been my favourite but i just never got to play COM as a kid and then when i played it as an adult all the way after bbs i ended up quitting before even getting to meet half the org cos this one stupid 'defeat 99 shadows jn 99 seconds' mission kicked my ass. I'M JUST NOT GOOD AT ACTION RPGS OKAY!

Aaaagh thats another Big Worry, yknow? Like asa kid i was Bad, as an adult i'm Barely Better , and as a both i never enjoyed beat em up thingies of any kind at all. And on top of that i was never big into disney, i never saw them as any sort of 'childhood magic' but just some naff cliche shit retelling public domain fairy tales in the safest way possible with a bunch of obnoxious celebrity cameos. Also lion king and snow white terrified me as a kid. Also i associated robin hood with my dead grandma. Also as a kid i couldnt appreciate good artistic ability or voiceacting, i was all about the story, yknow? And most of kh's adaptations are really rushed and barebones versions of an already shoddy story, without any of the visual splendor. ALSO i never saw any of the darker or more emotionally focused stuff like Hunchback and Beauty and the Beast until way after i quit playing kingdom hearts, oddly enough. Wtf beauty and thebeast is actually real good and looks so far beyond its time!! Wtf hunchback has my goddamn evil dad in it!! Why did i miss the only good didneys!! Why did snow white traumatize me and those didnt!!

ANYWAY the point im getting at is that im not inherantly predisposed to like.. Any of kingdom hearts's appeal at all. I didnt know half the disneys and i didnt have any hype for the others. None of my fave final fantasy games made it into it until the sequel and then never again after that. CMON I CANT JUST DEAL WITH ONE VIVI CAMEO Y'ALL! And i haaaate the genre and its an uphill struggle to play a game like that with my stupid inelegant sausage hands. So i just came for the story and then everything after the first game has been conspiring to ruin it for me, sheesh! I felt so much for that short concise self contained first episode and then i fall more and more out of love as they establish this status quo of everything being retconnable so dont bother get attatched to it. Blablabla the entire worldbuilding is different now and everyone was secretly someone else and please memorize a bunch of shit from fifty fuckin spinoffs and also time travel and cloning suddenly exist and ALSO Grandpa Onlyblackmanintheworld is generic motiveless evil and everything was him even of it looked like it was actually a sympathetic villain. *insert dio meme face*

So yeah now im just.. In it for the characters?? And the cute art style and monsters and lovely animations and big fanfic oc potentials stuff. But man even tho i had Big Feel for those things i was able to completely drop it all and forget about the series for years, that was just HOW BAD the kh3 drought was. Steven universe hiatus eat your heart out...

So ffff i dont even KNOW if i'll be able to get feels'd for these characters again or if they actually hold up to modern bunni standards of huggable. And i know all the ones i want to hug the most got like zero sympathy and all died horribly and were also retroactively revealed to be clone oldmanvirus somethingy and aaaaaagh. But also something something people say they all came back and got cured?? And this is why?? I am here?? Again?? And buying?? The thing??

Like man fuck i am already building it up so much in my head aaaa what if i dont actually love axel as much as i used to love axel and i dont love Grumply Science as much as i always love That Character Archetype seriously MAN how was he like THE ONLY ONE I DIDNT GET TO SEE AS A KID

Aaauuuuaggh gahhh like maybe this will reignite my passion for the series or maybe i'll just be all critical and dumb and waste all my moneys

Guys... What do??

[hongbubs]

so I was tagged by the sweetest @possumel <333333333333333 thanks so much, love ;)) These are so fun OuO also reading yours was super nice DONT chew dem nails yo ;*

Rules: answer the questions and tag 10 blogs you want to know better

A) age: 27 B) birthplace: random small city in the west part of Hungary C) current time: 11:15 A.M. D) last drink you had: coffee. which is p.much ALL i drink before noon E) easiest person to talk to: huhh @retrogyu @ythurielle @cinnamonsnow aka My Main Binches <333 F) favourite song atm: IT IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO ANSWER THIS but lets go with Strawberres and Cigarettes by Troye Sivan G) grossestmemory: ohh boy, i have the approximate memory capacity of a tired goldfish, so... i swear im not avoiding this on purpose! in fact imma go have a cig right now to think back on it.  Okay I’m back. So I remembered like one random pretty gross thing? Back in high school, I was out with friends (dunt remember where or who with exactly XD) and we were drinking like only stupid teenagers with a curfew do, and I got super wasted, naturally, and on my way back home I had a 45 minute train ride and while waiting, I threw up on the tracks? Like, I don’t get sick from drinking much, and even if I ocassionally do, I’m okay enough to find the nearest bathroom or something, but apparently, not that time :”””””””””D. Thats about as much as I recall, lame as it is... I) in love: on my good days J) jealous: nope, not the type K) killed someone: I shot a sparrow once. not very proud of it. and i did some fishing, but strangely that didn’t make me feel so bad? prolly because we actually ate the fish. L) love at first sight: strong attraction, definitely. M) Middle name: dont actually have one! :) N) number of siblings: one younger sis, little shit, i love her even though we couldn’t be more different :D O) one wish: so, so many. but as of this exact moment, for this pup i’m dogsitting not be be quiet because he’s in the middle of making trouble somewhere in the house. R) reasons to smile: also so, so many. as of this exact moment, also the pup i’m dogsitting. he’s a 9-10 weeks old golden retriever. he’s the cutest pupper in existence. I want to cuddle him till i die. sadly, he’s more in his chewing phase than cuddling phase, so blood sacrifice is sometimes required. S) song you last listened to: Uhhhh most likely the new VIXX album. Like, on loop. So I’d say the whole album. T) time you woke up:  7:40something. (see also: pup i’m dogsitting) U) underwear color: tired pink V) vacation destination: we’ve been looking into hostels in Rome with my sis and mom for October just this afternoon OuO W) worst habit: quite some, but the worst is def the smoking. X) x-rays: like, chest x-rays? I’ve had a few of them for work and for scholarship medical check-up... other than that, my knee, once, when I fucked it up skiing.  Y) favourite food: waaaaaaay too many. today my sister made guacamole and it was PERFECT, so atm i’ll say its my sister’s guacamole. in general tho I might have a decisiveness problem????? like, did you see me pick a decisive, one exact answer to any of these?? Z) zodiac sign: Saggitarius. (good thing I don’t have to pick here, uggh xd)

tagging (not 10 blogs but some) @cinnamonsnow (because binch be mad at me if i dont <3) @jen-10 and  @la-feline-noire because I see them in my notifs all the time, @exychamp because she’s back again <3 @asriantrash  because he’s one of my new fave blogs, and anyone else that feels like doing this?

[mydarlingfelix]

Get to know me tag(s)!

Tagged by: @hyunjinh  @felox-the-great @jaeffreyy @squishywoojin @welcometochanskitchen @dabkingfelix @mosquitofelix

Hi! I’m Summer btw (Ik it’s not in my bio), but I just go by Sum or other nicknames lol *I also just put multiple “get to know me” tags in 1 lol THIS IS A SUPER LONG POST IM SORRY However thank you for tagging me!! I Love you all soOoOo much!

Bold Thingy Tag

1ST RULE: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

I think everyone done this already fkjdjgb

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo -I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair (idk it’s growing) - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month (Lucy wanted to be drawn for her bday and I did a watercolor portrait thing ig? for her) - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority- I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol- I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event- I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling (I have like 5)- I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity (?) - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship (not a healthy one at least)- I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily (It’s disgusting, wtf is wrong with me. I don’t need feels) - I have had a crush for over a year (Umm kinda he’s just really really cute. I talked to Dain about this before) - I have been in a relationship for over a year (but not currently) - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

Alphabet Soup Tag

A: Age - “I’m 19, you fight me?” B: Birthplace - Cali C: Current time - As I’m during this 1:26pm D: Drink you had last - Water, but also Thai Tea Boba E: Easiest person to talk to - F: Favorite song - None G: Grossest memory - My cousin’s and I were doing a auntie and niece day and went theMall and I saw this girl throw up on the second floor in Forever 21. I felt sorry for the workers...  H: Hogwarts house - G I: in love? - nah, never gonna happen J: Jealous of people? - It’s only a human aspect, you’re only truly horrible if you do something nasty to others because of that feeling K: Killed someone? - Not yet lmfao L: Love at first sight or should I walk by again? - No thank you M: Middle name - Summer N: Number of siblings - 5 O: One wish - None P: Person you called last - My mom Q: Question you are always asked - Idk tbvh R: Reason to smile - Idk things make me happy S: Song you sang last - The Unit No way (I dont remember the unit colors)  T: Time you woke up - 6:43am  U: Underwear color - White  V: Vacation destination - South Korea, Japan, & idk the other one, but honestly my goal is to visit all my mutuals before I died lmfaooo W: Worst habit - Not caring, sleeping in, getting distracted easily, being anixious all the time.  X: X-rays - Teeth Y: Your favorite food - I have a lot... Z: Zodiac sign - Gemini

🥛 Colour(s) I’m currently wearing: Black... Just a lot of black (I need to stop wearing sm black omg)  🍥 Last band t-shirt I bought: I don’t ever buy clothes for myself, idk when was last time? Maybe during the Got7 concert?  🥛 Last band I saw live: Got7 (Fly In LA: Day 1) and Paradise (A Hmong Band)  🍥 Last song I listened to: Rn I’m listening to The Unit’s Cherry on Top  🥛 Lipstick or chapstick: Idk... I wear lip tints.  🍥 Last movie I watched: Ever Wonder? (idk it’s a true story about the creation of wonder women)  🥛 Last 3 TV shows I watched: Wanna One Go, Wanna One x Aimgo TV, and The Unit 🍥 Last 3 characters I identified with: Kora, Steven Universe, & Ken Kaneki (idk for this part, I never thought about this fkdfdkgd)  🥛 Book I’m currently reading: Books for my classes njfdkjd 

What’s my name? (Imma just put my initials) 

M. S. L.

What’s my nickname?

Sum, SumSum, SumShine, Summahh Girl, Tsumdere, Chee, 

How old am I?

“I’m 19, you fight me?”

What got me into Kpop?

SJ- Sorry Sorry, but Got7 made me offically stay and learning everything about the kpop fandom

What’s my favourite Kpop group?

Rn W1 (the most)

Who’s my ultimate bias?

Park Jihoon

What groups/artists do I stan?

Too many to count, you all can ask my personally if you want lol

What groups/artists do I casually listen to?

A lot, I try to be diverse, but what’s good music is good music to me. Feel free to suggest me some :D

What artists do I listen to that aren’t Kpop?

Ahh I’m lazy, but just good sounding music. Calvin Harris just popped up in my head. fknfkjskfnj 

Who’s my bias and bias wrecker from my ultimate group(s)?

Omfg

Wanna One: Park Jihoon & Kang Daniel

JBJ: Kim Donghan & ??? (They’re all messing me up rn)

SK: Felix & I think Hyunjin? Idk

What’s your favourite song(s) to sing/hum?

It’s recently been Chungha’s roller coaster lol and The Unit songs  

What are your favourite flower/tree/plant (all 3 or whatever you have an answer to)?

I really love plants and flowers in general, however Peonies are one of my many faves!! 

Favourite colour(s)?

Pink, blue, purple, black, white, and gray

What do you always doodle (if you ever do)?

Umm yeah I always doodling, but I try not to because I want to be able to focus in class haha. 

How do you take your coffee/tea? If you don’t like those what’s your fav warm drink?

It probably like 20% coffee and 80% french vanilla cream nfksjfgsbjg sometimes I add a lil milk too 

Favourite candle scent?

Anything flowery, but i really like sweet pea smell lol. I don’t any candles yet, so I don’t quite know which I like more yet. Soorrryy

Sunrise or Sunset?

Sunset! The colors are soo pretty and like it doesn’t require me to wake up from my sleep lmfao. The transitions of day and night it just so beautiful! and the stars that start peeking through the dark sky! 

What perfume do you wear if any?

I don’t wear perfume? I have them at home but in my opinion I feel like if you’ve showered and smell nice why try to mix more scents onto you?? and I don’t really need it? DONT WORRY I AM CLEAN NFJSNJF idk if I make any sense

What’s your go to dance move when you’re alone?

-

Favourite quote?

“The moon is friend for the lonesome to talk to.” ― Carl Sandburg 

&  “We ran as if to meet the moon.” ― Robert Frost  

& also 

“The moon and stars just for you my love” - Me lol 

Favourite self care thing(s) or routine(s)?

Umm... Drawing. Showering and putting a face mask afterwards. Painting my nails. It’s more like small things, especially like painting my nails and drawings are things I can’t do often because I try to focus on school, because ik I’m bad at focusing. Sleeping and reminding to just eat, when I get too busy and focused I tend to skip meals. njfkdsnfj s

Fuzzy socks or House slippers?

OMFG BOTH THAT’S LIKE THE BEST COMBO! I have these pinky and purple house slippers I got aND IT’S FUZZY KSFJ SK IT’S SOOO CUTE OMG!! I love. nfjdnfd 

What colour are your eyes? 

Dark Brown

What’s your favourite eye colour on others?

Hazel, black, and gray

Favourite season? why?

Autumn and Winter (Ik contradicts with my name) but I love the rain! and cloudy weather! The sound of rain is calming and being inside while hearing the rain is nice. I really love Spring too when the flowers begin to bloom and like it’s a fresh type of feeling when spring hits lol.

Cheek, neck or nose kisses?

SJFNKFS Honestly depends on my mood  (´•/// ω \\\•`) but I like cheek kisses because softtt

What does your happy place look like?

My room on a rainy day with my fairy lights flickering

Favourite breed of dog?

YO OKAY SO I SAW THIS FB POST ABOUT THIS DOG BEAR AND I WANT A DOG BEAR IDK WHAT THEY’RE CALLED JKFDFHKSF. My dad is a dog breeder as a side business, so I grew up with pitbulls, pocket pits, american bull dogs, frenches, and now ‘exotics’ are the trend atm. 

Do you ever want to be married? If so what colours would you pick for your wedding theme?

Umm yes and no? I’m not sure. If I have an American wedding I like to stick to a traditional white with maybe a peach and light pink here and there, but for sure I would love to do a traditional Hmong wedding. 

Silk or Lace?

Silk feels nice, but I like lace too :)

Favorite weather?

SF type of weather 

[klainelynch]

2017 in review

I always say that I’m going to post a “how my year was” at the end of the year, but I have an awful memory so I never remember what happened in each month. This year, I tried to post about each month as it finished- the good and the bad. Under a cut because of course it got long, and I never seem to post about my real life, so this may be boring if you don’t actually know me.

January

Got a snow day after having students for just one day

Accidentially read a book in one night (Perfect) because of aforementioned snow day/borrowing it electronically from the library/not knowing how many pages there were (not that many since it’s YA)

Got two more snow/ice days because my county has mountains in it and we’re in the South, so we’re not prepared for winter

Saw Hidden Figures and cried about how good humanity can be when we actually allow and encourage all people to be their best (black women!!!! they did that!!!!!!!)

Helped my students navigate our county’s program of going one-to-one with Chromebooks (there were many good things, such as getting my kids to play freerice for extra credit; there were many bad things, such as a quiz getting screwed up because I shuffled the questions but had asked my co-teacher to help me by reading the quiz [as she normally does] to a half dozen students...who all had a different order of questions...).

Went to a conference for new teachers and while a lot of the information was repetitive, there were a few things I got from it (such as 6.5 professional development hours aw yis).

Got to see lots of family I don’t usually see on this weekend!

Started reading The Diary of Anne Frank with my students because this country allowed fascism to be A Thing™ and I’m going to resist however I can.

Got two (!!!!!!) days off at the end of January for sick days (apparently other students in the county? not us but we benefitted!!!!)

February

Finally had an entire 5-day week of school

Then got another two days off for sickness (8th grade was doing our part by asking ENTIRE classes “Hey! Anyone feel sick? Anyone want to go get their temp checked???”)

Went to an open house at a local mosque, and y’all, I live in The South™ but their parking lot filled up a good 15 minutes before the event even started and there was an overflow room and so much support for this community during the Muslim Ban and it just filled my heart with joy

Got a haircut (it was literally down to my butt y’all!!!!) and now it’s right below my shoulders

Had pedal extensions installed in my car because I’m 4′9 and would have literally died if the airbags went off.

March

Got my professional teaching license! I’m no longer an apprentice! I don’t have to have 4 observations a year!!! Only 2! And while I’m REALLY good at playing the observation game (and am MUCH better at this than the testing game), it will be nice to not think about it so much.

My mom came to stay for a few days because it was her and my sister’s spring break.

During that week, I had a LONG 4 day week, which included staying at my school until 7:30 for a town hall meeting/carnival/extravaganza. F U N.

My spring break was purposefully low-key. I rested a lot, read books, caught up on Netflix, shopped at Old Navy, and went to the local art museum for the first time (I’ve only been in this city for 8 years...)

April

I found that I actually enjoy teaching how to write an essay. The 5 paragraph essay, while it has many faults, is a really good place for beginning writers (which 8th graders are) to begin. I had a student tell me that she liked how I made each sentence have a specific purpose because she was able to plug in her evidence and thoughts more easily- this honestly made my whole day.

That being said, I HATE teaching essays when students are absent. Trying to get them caught up and keep everyone else on track is SO MUCH WORK. Especially when the absent students don’t come to me during my plan to make up their work...

For two whole days, my last period class was not allowed to use erasers because some people (two boys, as it turned out) were shredding and throwing them at each other.

I turned 26

The Welcome to Night Vale Live Show FINALLY TRAVELED TO TENNESSEE AND Y’ALL CECIL (REAL CECIL NOT THE CHARACTER) IS FROM KNOXVILLE!!!! The weather singer was super fun (she played Rocky Top and we ate that shit up like biscuits and gravy with no shame whatsoever) and the show itself was just so much fun even though I went alone. It was almost an hour of normal segments with the plot of the glow cloud, but they also brought in Steve Carlsburg and Tamika Flynn (I diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiied when she walked on stage because I majorly crush on that actress whoops) and watching those actors interact on stage was so much fun.

May

End of the school year is always chaotic and better left forgotten tbh

We took the 8th graders to the local theme park, and it was really good (though my expectations were super low because last year’s trip SUCKED). The weather looked like it might rain, but it was nice all day, the kids were pretty good, and the rides were fun.

There were some really sad community deaths around this time :(

The teacher who normally MCs the 8th grade commencement is now an administrator, so while we still had him open the ceremony, I gave out several of the awards, and I don’t think I did a bad job (two of the other teachers hate public speaking and the last one was new to the team this year, so I was really the only choice).

June

Worked my church’s festival, which is always fun. The crowds are never what they ought to be (due to a combination of rain threats and poor marketing), so a lot of people missed out on some really great food and music.

Great music included a new band- Southern Avenue- that I got to see again later in the year.

I had to miss the third day of the festival because of a friend’s baby shower. I knew a few people (besides the couple), but they left early; luckily, the people throwing it were a lot of fun. We played games (don’t get caught saying “baby”; pin the sperm on the egg; etc) and decorated diapers/onesies/bibs for the baby). The next day, we went to church (IN A MOTHERFUCKING MONSOON) and for Mexican food.

Started my reread of Harry Potter (it had been about 5 years since I’d last read the series). I cried in almost every book, and not always at sad parts. I’ve become very protective of Harry as I’ve gotten older.

My younger brother found an NES, which was the console I grew up with and my parents gave away years ago. They really loved to play on it, so this was a wedding anniversary present for them. The Legend of Zelda is the shit.

July

I finally got a new phone (I’d had mine about 3 years, and it died in May) and I know it’s fun for iphone users to shit on Android users, but I really do love the camera quality on my Samsung.

Rachel came to visit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We drank wine and went to the zoo and got real bbq and the best donuts in the world

Had a Treat Yo Self Day which included:

WAFFLE HOUSE

BITCH!!!! B I T C H

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN GET AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE

DO

YOU

KNOW

COUNTRY HASHBROWNS!!!!!

aka

biscuits and gravy minus the biscuits plus the hashbrowns

I just had regular biscuits and gravy BUT ALLI HAD THE GLORY

I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

McKay’s

I bought Pokemon yellow because I never played/watched it as a kid, and while at my house for the summer, I found the old black & white gameboy an older cousin gave me, so naturally I had to do it.

Pokemon Go

yes still

You know what once I was back in town I went to my favorite library almost every day for an hour or two and read while opening Pokemon Go every few minutes so there

Went with some of my best friends to visit another one of our best friends who lives in the middle of fucking nowhere and had adventures including, but not limited to: getting pizza because we were too weak to change out the gas’s grill, waiting 5ever for food at dinner, and watching the entire Flowers in the Attic series.

August

School started back up, and at the kick-off for all the teachers, I won $500 in a drawing of all the people who hadn’t used a sick day last year!!!!!

And I didn’t even realize that I’d won $200 at the previous school board meeting in the same type drawing!!!!

New class started off with 85 students. It was a DREAM to be able to focus on individuals and not just herd cats.

I actually felt more confident in the classroom with my early units (poetry & our whole class novel).

September

Still felt confident in the classroom!

I got my testing scores back from the previous year (this shit takes 5ever and it’s dumb) and did better in about the only way I could have, so that was good to see.

I had about 10 county people in my classroom (principals, academic coaches, etc) to see a certain style of teaching ELA that the county is working on. It’s basically making sure that teachers keep students engaged in complex text (which is what I do almost every day anyway) and I had been to two of these trainings already, so I knew what sort of lesson worked. Well...they LOVED it!!! The kids were in small groups and did SO GOOD discussing evidence/answering questions (they all got candy afterwards) and I got some good feedback about how I talk to my students. Then that same day the superintendent came in my room (one of several rooms he visited while doing his yearly observation on the principal). That visit was super unannounced, but still fine.

The academic coach got rid of my classroom’s desks and found tables and chairs instead!!!! My classroom is tiny and weird shaped, so this works SO MUCH BETTER.

I help coach volleyball (aka I keep the books) and the girls won district (beating out a team with a redneck grandma in the stands who literally came up to our girls and yelled at them for cheering on their own damn team in the previous game). They didn’t do so well at sectionals, but that’s ok.

October

Holy shit I won another $200 in that drawing!!! And this time my parents let me buy them plane tickets so we could see family over Christmas.

LESLIE ODOM JR CAME TO MY CITY AND HE PERFORMED BEAUTIFUL MUSIC AND I WAS THERE AND I DIED

Got to see a lot of family at my cousin’s ‘wedding party’ (he got married last year in Europe since he met his now wife over there, and wanted to have a family party here). I learned that my uncle and his son dance exactly the same at the same level of alcohol.

November

I should have known something was up when my first 9 weeks went so well. Apparently my county is in the bottom tier for the state, and now everyone is freaking out (never mind that the data to support this was mONTHS LATE AND BASED ON STANDARDIZED TESTS WHICH WERE A CLUSTERFUCK TO BEGIN WITH) so there was a lot of school stress during this time.

Nice things though- got to see friends when their baby was baptized and went home for Thanksgiving, where my dad came into the Catholic Church.

I organized most of the 8th grade field trip for the semester- going to see “A Christmas Carol” put on by my old college’s theatre. I was stressed the entire time because if something went wrong it would be on ME, but it was absolutely wonderful and I cried which honestly surprised me. We went to the local mall for our lunch and it was good to see the kids just relax. It was a great field trip and several people including the principal thanked me for my hard work which felt great after a hard month.

December

School was nothing but survival mode per usual.

Hosted the Christmas party for my friend group at church and it was a lot of fun.

The actual break was fast- we flew to Texas with one of my mom’s sisters and her family to visit their brother and his family. I hadn’t been to Texas since high school, so it was fun to explore and eat good food.

My final count for books was 93 (67 new and 26 reread) (I’m trying to finish an audiobook I’m borrowing from the library but I still have 80 minutes left and literally 4 hours to finish it so we’ll see!!!).

[anonymous-wolf22]

Survey 8

Last time you were attacked by an animal?

Today, about 6 hours ago.

Are you paranoid all the time or just during the night?

Neither.

Have you ever dated someone without knowing their name?

No, why the fuck would anyone do that?

Has a stranger ever asked for your phone/cell number?

No.

Would you help a friend bury a dead body?

Yes. Depending on which friend.

Do you have bad posture?

Sometimes.

Have you ever spelled the word ‘grammar’ wrong?

No, I’m a fucking great speller.

If someone cusses/swears a lot, do you assume they have bad grammar?

No, you know what they say about assuming things, you just make an ass out of u and me.

Is there someone you are avoiding?

Yes.

Is there someone that is avoiding you?

.....

Would you only date people that have the same skin tone as you?

FUCK NO!!! Racist motherfucker.

Are your parents/guardians picky about who you date?

Heh, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but not them. They can fuck off.

If you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, how much do you really eat?

A lottttt

If you need to ask a question in class do you raise your hand?

Used to. That’s what like everyone’s teachers wanted them to do in school.

How about speak out loud?

No, we would’ve gotten in trouble for that.

How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)?

Just once, and it’s the best thing ever~

What do you think of the United States?

Ew, fuck. I absolutely hate it. Get me outta this fucking country now please.

Is the United States really the best country in the world?

Definitely not. My answer is a biased answer though.

Do you know where your femur is?

I...think so....?

Do you believe everything you read?

No.

Do you have to see something to really believe it?

Depending on what we’re talking about.

Have you ever gotten so dehydrated that you passed out?

Yes.

If your friend was being cheated on, would you tell them?

Fuck yeah. It wouldn’t be nice to let my friend get hurt like that. It’s easier to tell them sooner rather than later. 

Are you allowed to go off school campus to eat lunch?

Only when we were Juniors. That was the minimum grade for it.

Have you ever been called something and you didn’t know what it meant?

I think so, yeah.

Do you believe everyone is gifted with something?

Yes.

Are you sick and tired of life?

Eh, so-so.

Are you loving life?

Not really life itself, but what I have gotten out of being alive~

Have you ever been busted for underage drinking?

Have yet to drink.

Would you ever change your whole appearance?

If my boyfriend wanted me to, yes, in an instant.

Do you easily give into peer pressure?

No.

Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing?

Not yet~

Would you become a mathematician if you could?

Fuck no, I hate math and I’m terrible at it.

Have you witnessed a fight at school?

Yes.

Have you ever wanted to grab someone by the throat and squeeze until their head explodes?

Yessss.

Anywho, what’s your favorite movie?

Suicide Squad 1 and Deadpool 1 & 2.

Any movies you’re just dying to see?

Lord of The Rings.

How’s the love life?

Fuck, best thing ever~

Do you have a messy signature?

Not really.

What color are your nails at the moment?

They aren’t colored.

When’s the last time you got a text?

Like 10 minutes ago.

What song is currently resonating through your ear drums?

Hold On - Chord Overstreet and Baby Don’t Cut - Bmike.

What’s your greatest fear?

Being separated from my fiance and dying alone.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

4.

Would you consider yourself morbid?

Yes.

Do you keep your nails long or short?

I have a habbit on chewing my nails, but I do want them to be semi-long.

What was the last thing you said out loud?

"She said 11 pm! Where did you get 9 pm from?!”

What was the last thing you stopped yourself from saying?

That I want to move to England.

Who was the last person to call you baby?

My fiance~

Does your name begin with the letter J?

No.

C?

No.

R?

No.

K?

Yes.

S?

No.

Do you need a shower at the moment?

No.

Do you use Bing.com?

No.

What’s the last thing you looked up on any search engine?

’Surveys | Bold what applies to you’

Have you ever considered a career as a porn star?

Nope.

What was the last lie you told?

That I don’t have a partner/boyfriend/fiance/SO

Do you remember the last thing you typed in a Word document?

Yeah, it was another survey that was private for my fiance.

How many pictures do you have saved on your computer?

Of me? None. Of anime/other things? Tons.

Would you consider yourself artistic?

Maybe.

Has anyone told you that you were a good writer?

Nope.

^Do you believe them?

Believe what?

What all do you have pierced?

Ears.

Are there any piercings your currently waiting to get?

No.

What color is your phone?

Gray. 

When was the last time you sneezed?

The other day.

When was the last time you shaved?

Last night.

What’s the longest you’ve ever had your hair?

It's at it's longest right now, halfway down my back.

Are you sleepy at the moment?

No.

What can you see through the window closest to you?

Barely anything, it’s too dark. But I kind of see my mailbox and G-MA’s car.

Have you ever just wanted a re-do on life?

No.

Who/what did you last take a picture of?

My cat.

Do you take pictures of yourself just for Myspace or Facebook?

No.

What were you like 5 years ago?

I was 16 and a major bad boy/play boy and emo.

10?

I was 12, and was very silent.

15?

I was 7 and in love with Usher.

Have you ever wanted a mohawk? A real, 2-foot tall, multicolored mohawk?

No.

When was the last time you spent over $10.00?

Oh, $10, I thought it said $10,000 lol. That would be yesterday’s groceries.

Take a guess - do you have more pairs of socks or underwear?

Socks.

Do you think you could hop on one leg to your kitchen without falling?

Yes, I have good balance - my cat on the other hand..... just knocks my books down as I’m writing this ;-;

Right now, are you wearing eyeliner?

No.

Are you better or worse off than you were two years ago?

Eh, better I guess.

As a kid, what was your favorite playground activity?

The Monkey Bars.

Who do you wish karma would bite in the ass?

My ENTIRE Family!

Have you ever given yourself a google diagnosis when you were sick?

Probably.

Could you (willingly) go ten days without touching a computer?

No, because that would be 10 days of not talking to my fiance.

Have you ever dropped anything in a toilet on accident?

I keep having a vague memory of dropping toilet paper in the toilet....but I don’t really know for sure.

BAM! Chocolate no longer exists. Do you miss it?

GIVE IT BACK YOU MONSTER!!!!!

What is the most annoying sound in your opinion?

Hmmm.... I don’t really know.

QUICK! Fill in the blanks: I wish that _______ would kiss me right now.

My fiance~

Who have you texted today?

My fiance.

Who did you last have over your house, why were they there?



...John, ugh. He was here to help my grandma with life insurance stuff, he works at State Farm and is a ‘friend’ of the family.

What was the last thing to piss you off?



Me. Cause I fell asleep.

Recently, who in your house has gotten on your nerves the most?



Shit, that’s a tie between my brother and my Mom.

What all has pissed you off today, if anything at all?


Not much, just the dogs that tried to bite me when I was riding my bike down the road today.

What does the 10th text in your inbox say?

That a new chapter to a fan-fiction book series I’m reading was released.

How about the 20th sent text?



Haven’t sent anything.

Out of all of your friends, who have you gotten in the worst fight with?



Hmm, probably David. When he had a migraine and told me he was going to lay down and I messaged him like 30 minutes later :( I regret it.

Who was the last person to have to deal with you having an attitude?



My Mom.

If you had $100, how would you spend it?



Is that enough to buy a plane ticket to England?

What’s something you would love to have happen right now?



To move to England and cuddle with my fiance.

You were given the opportunity to get a new cellular device, what do you choose?



Any phone, as long as I could text and send images to my fiance.

How nice of a person are you, honestly?

I'm nice, yeah. But piss me off and you'll be sorry.

What good things have happened today?



Me and my fiance talked.

Is there something you should be doing right now, besides this survey?



Eh, sleeping.

Who was the last person you made plans with?


My Mum.

How many days until your birthday?

I can't be bothered counting, but it's 5 months away.

How old was the last person you kissed?

Haven’t kissed anyone yet.

When do you usually get up in the morning?

Depends on when I go to bed. Varies from 2 am to 6 pm usually.

Where is your favorite place to be when you are sad?

In the dm’s with my fiance.

Do you have any nicknames?

K, (fiance’s nicknames for me:) Kitten, Kitty~

Who was the last person to make you smile?

My fiance.

What color is the floor in the room you are in?

It’s a carpet that’s like a dark-blue-gray-mix.

Have you ever been in a confessional?

??

Do you have blue eyes?

Yes.

Do you have red hair?

No.

Are you Jewish?

No.

Are you taller than 5’6?

Nope ;-;

Are you closer in age to a 10 year old or a 30 year old?

30.

Have you ever broken a finger?

Yes.

What color was the last car you were in?

Red.

Do you have a curfew?

I’m 22, wtf do you think??

Have you ever made out with someone who was just a friend?

Yep.

What month were you born?

July.

How long is your hair?

Halfway down my back.

Do you prefer baths or showers?

Either or.

What would you do if your parents died suddenly?

I can’t wait, I’d be celebrating.

How old will you be in 7 years?

29.

What is the closest holiday to your birthday?

July 4th, Independence Day.

Was today a good day?

Yeah.

What does your last incoming text say, who was it from, and how do you feel about that person?

It;s from twitch notifying me that a channel I followed has went live. And I feel nothing to them.

Did you have a New Year’s kiss?

No.

Are there any words that you cannot pronounce or that you pronounce incorrectly?

Yep.

After a long day at work or of doing something physical what tends to hurt more? Your back or your feet?

My Legs and feet.

Do you have a smart phone? If so, what’s your favorite app?

Nope.

Who would you say is the overall best person you know, and why?

My fiance~ Because, I know everything about him, and I would die for him or kill for him, I don’t do that for many people.

If you had to choose between being a nurse or an English teacher which would you choose and why?

English, because I like spelling.

Do you have a specific gas station you usually go to? Or do you stop wherever?

----

How much older than you was the oldest person you have dated/had a relationship with?

I am 22 and he is 29~ You do the math.

Is anything stressing you out at the moment?

No.

What is your opinion on dating someone who already had a child/children from a previous relationship?

It doesn’t bother me, in fact, bring them on over :3 I love and adore kids, and can’t wait to adopt. Heck, my fiance already has a son and even though I have yet to meet him face-to-face, I already consider him mine~

Have you ever actually found a mascara that makes a huge difference for your lashes?

I don’t wear ANY make-up.

Would you rather have one or two great facial features that stand out, or have just an overall pretty face but have no special features?

Overall pretty.

Do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day? Did you do anything last Valentine’s Day?

No, just bought chocolate for da fam.

Do you check your horoscope daily? If so, did you relate to your horoscope at all today?

Never done it.

When you need to remember something how do you usually go about doing so?

Putting it on the calendar.

How would you describe someone that is your type of guy/girl?

My fiance of course~ Tall, strong, loves gaming, loves kids and the idea of a family, older than me, is a sadist~ Full on bad side, and is the Alpha to My Beta~

Have you recently accomplished anything that you are proud of yourself for?

Just avoiding death earlier today thanks to those doggos.

Are you still friends with any of your exes? Do you still communicate with any of them at all?

Yes and no. It’s complicated.

What is your opinion on people that shop at Sephora for makeup as opposed to buying makeup from the drugstore?

?

Do you live on your own or with your parents/a roommate? Do you think you’d like to live alone?

I live with my family currently. Can’t wait till I move to England though, then I will be with my fiance forever~

How often would you say you use Microsoft Word?

Only when I feel like it or need to.

How often do you typically change your bra?

I don’t wear bra’s.

What is the last online purchase you made?

Nothing.

Do you usually have bad symptoms around “that time of the month”?

I’m a guy ;-;

Is there anyone you have to see on a daily/weekly basis that you really dislike?

.....

Is your hair thick or thin? Would you say it’s easy to manage?

It was thin for awhile but now it’s becoming more thick. And it’s okay.

Have you ever had to deal with any type of long distance relationship, whether it be a romantic relationship or a friendship?

Yes, I’m currently in one. I’m in USA and my fiance is in England, like 5k miles away. (love you baby~)

Are you procrastinating doing anything right now?

Editing my next video to upload on YouTube.

How do you feel about being called sweetie/dear/honey/etc.?

I love it!

Have you ever had a thing for/relationship with a coworker? How did it end?

Don’t have a job yet.

What would you say is your worst habit?

Chewing on my nails or unintentionally avoiding my friends.

Do you have a place you go to a lot that you may be considered “a regular” at?

Probably.

What is the weather currently like where you live?

It's calm and clear and cloudless. It's 12 am.

Do you have any plans for Mardi Gras?

Don’t know.

[slightlystalesushirolls]

Rules: Respond the 92 questions and tag 25 people

I was tagged by @s-akuramilk♥♥♥

Last:

1. Drink: english breakfast tea

2. Phone call: my fren

3. Text: “What earrings are u gonna wear”

4. Song listened to: oh worm i don’t remember but i’ve been listening to mary lambert’s she keeps me warm a lot

5. Time you cried: uhhhhh maybe this weekend

Have you ever:

6. Dated someone twice: no

7. Been cheated on: no

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: no

9. Lost someone special: yeah

10. Been depressed: never got diagnosed maybe

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no

List 3 fav colors:

12. Salmon

13. Neon green(i associate this colour with melon ramune???)

14. Lilac

In the last year have you:

15. made new friends: ye

16. fallen in love: no

17. laughed until you cried: yea xjsjd

18. found out someone was talking about you: no, no one speaks of me ever

19. met someone who’s changed you: for the good

20. found out who your true friends are: eh probably kinda

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: no

22. how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: i know all of em

23. do you have any pets: no not currently :’)

24. do you want to change your name: a bit yea

25. what did you do for your last birthday: went to eat shaved ice

26. what time did you wake up: 7:20

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: either sleepin or scrolling tumblr

28. name something you cannot wait for: ahsidbeodn fan expo

29. when was the last time you saw your mother: last evening…she isn’t up when i leave for school

30. what is one thing you would change about your life: if i wasn’t so needy and didn’t cry every time someone said something bad abt me that would be nice yo

31. what are you listening to right now: fuckboy choir

32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: probably

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: myself and life

34. Most visited website: tumblr, instagram, discord, google, youtube

35. funniest memory: when my friend asked me “where do u get all ur gay clothes from” and i replied with “FROM THE CLOSET” honestly that’s the funniest joke i’ll ever make i’ve peaked that’s a pretty funny memory

36. memory from school: in elementary school our slides used to literally burn down. this happened 3 times during the 8 years i was there.

37. memories you want to make: happy memories ye

38. natural hair color: black

39. long or short hair: long

40. do you have a crush on someone: yeah every girl in the world

41. what do you like about yourself: i read really fast i guess

42. piercings: ears

43. blood type: ppppppprobably O because i’m mosquito bait

44. nickname: fidget spinner

45. relationship status: single

46. zodiac sign: leo

47. pronouns: they/them

48. favourite tv show: don’t have cable but i’m a SLUT for chopped, cutthroat kitchen, and triple d(diners, drive-ins, and dives)

49. tattoos: donht have any

50. left or right handed: right

First:

51. Surgery: when i was born

52. Piercing: ears

53. Best Friend: uhh i forgot their name rip

54. Sport: i used to dance

55. Vacation: uhh idk

56. Pair of trainers: ?????

57. Favourite snack: uhh wasabi green peas, koala march, rice crackers, i have so many....basically every type of crunchy japanese snack lmao

58. Drink you hate: pumpkin spice latte, soda water, mineral water

59. I’m about to: do homework

60. I’m listening to: this is a repeat question??

61. Waiting for: someone to kick christy clark's ass lmao

62. Wanting: sleep

63. Get married: UUUH IDK

64. Career: i cry whenever i have to think of my future

Your type:

65. hugs or kisses: uhhh idk hugs

66. lips or eyes: boi i’m ACE lips

67. Shorter or Taller: doesn’t matter

68. Older or Younger: whatever but age gap shouldn’t be too big

69. Romantic or Spontaneous: romantic

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: don’t care

71. Sensitive or Loud: sensitive

72. Hook-up or relationship: relationship

73. Trouble maker or hesitant: hesitant

Have you ever:

74. Kissed a Stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: like a sip

76. Lost glasses/contacts: yeah but i’ve always found them afterwards sjsb

77. Turned someone down: no

78. Had sex on first date: no

79. Broken someone’s heart: no

80. Had your heart broken: no

81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: no

83. Fallen for a friend: no

Do you believe in:

84. Yourself: not really

85. Miracles: a bit

86. Love at first sight: sure

87. Santa Claus: nope

88. Kiss on first date: ok

89. Angels: no

90. Current best friends name: kinky bitch

91. eye color: dark brown

92. fav movie: Whisper of the heart, Kubo and the Two Strings, Kiki’s Delivery Service