#12x18 in

[charlesbeckart]

Charles Beck - End of the Chevy Pickup

This is a painting done in the 1970s. The truck, a 1961 Chevy Apache, brought the family and I to California from Colorado. I had built the camper shell before leaving and somehow it stayed intact for years. Rust got the cab and the bed and about everything else metal. I set up an easel in front of it and painted a memorial before it was towed away. Note the rough canvas. That was about all I could afford then.

[katherinehoughtoncastle47]

[shirtlesssammy]

Dean Winchester every day -- 259/326

Supernatural 12x18//The Memory Remains

[destielcorecore]

Looking at what the screens say in supernatural is literally one of my favorite things to do. Ignoring the obvious fact that Mick is named Frodo in Sam's contacts, these emails in Sam's inbox are so funny? Especially the ones from Dean. I LOVE how he misspells "professional" and how Sam owes him money and shit like that. I want to read these emails

[spn-rewatch-ventzone]

Dean and Sam carving their initials into the bunker table just like their did in baby…like those are their two homes

[monstermoviedean]

god the second they sat down i realized they were going to carve the table and wow. what a moment that was

[leprosycock]

all these slots and all you wanna gamble with is this thing in my chest

[sirlancenotalot]

why did no one tell me that the actors that play alex and elliot in alex strangelove are both in the same episode of spn, like a year before that movie even happened?????

[shallowseeker]

Oh, my GOD, Cas. Dean was so stupidly worried about you, you dumbass. (12x17-12x19)

After 12x12 Stuck in the Middle (with You), wherein Cas experienced his worst nightmare (watching his human family die while they fought to protect him), dude freaked out and bailed his ass to Heaven. And Dean...

Here, have a long-ass super-post of all the worried Dean moments I snipped out from the episodes:

///

In 12x17 The British Invasion, Dean's anxiety is amping up, and he's visibly and verbally disappointed when Cas isn't at the hunting rendezvous.

From the episode transcript: Dean is on the phone, listening to a message. Cas [voicemail]: This is my voicemail. Make your voice a mail. Dean [into phone]: Come on, Cas. I've called you three times now. Will you call me back? We've got a line on Dagon. We need your help.

///

They get into the Impala and drive to the junkyard where Sam, Eileen, Mick and Renny are waiting. It is now night-time. Dean: This everyone? Sam: Yeah. Still no word from Cas. Dean: Right. Great. 

///

Dean enters the library. Sam is sitting at the table looking at his laptop. Dean: Mornin'. Sam: Mornin'. Hey, you, uh, you hear anything from Cas yet? Dean: Mm. No. Still MIA. Sam: You think he's all right? Dean: I don't know. [Looking around worriedly] 

Notably, in the script, Cas was perhaps actively lying to Dean, saying he's working on "getting here," and saying he's "half a day out." In the episode, they adjusted it to better explain Cas's absence, crank up Dean's worry, and ramp up the tension (a good change).

///

In 12x18 The Memory Remains episode (and script) Dean is pacing the hallways and stress-cleaning his guns:

From the script: DEAN: Come on... CAS (voicemail): This is my voicemail, make your voice a mail. DEAN (on the beep): Okay, screw this. I've been calling for days, Cas, I-- we found Dagon, and we got our asses handed to us, even though we had the Colt. (then) Really coulda used some backup, but-- guess you were too busy ignoring my damn calls, right? He hangs up. Equal parts worried and pissed. *** SAM: Any luck with Cas? DEAN: Still AWOL. SAM: Okay, so let's find him. DEAN: Already tried. The GPS on his phone's switched off-- and there's nothing in the system about a weird dude in a trenchcoat getting arrested... or turning up dead, so... He's worried. They both are. SAM: Dean, it's Cas-- this isn't the first time he's dropped off the map, and whatever's happening, he'll be fine. He always is. On Dean, wanting to believe that.

Hello! CAS SWITCHED OFF HIS GPS SO DEAN COULDN'T EVEN TRACK HIS LAST KNOWN LOCATION (the playground entrance to Heaven, no doubt). Dean is now beside himself with worry, calling to mind the looming threat of the cosmic consequences from Billie. He fears that Cas is dead.

///

And from the episode transcipt: At the bunker, Dean is still trying to reach Castiel on the phone and leaves him yet another message. DEAN: Come on. Cas, it's me. I've been trying to get ahold of you for days. I don't know what's going on, but we got a line on Dagon...And we got our asses handed to us, even with the Colt. So...Could really use the backup. Call me back. *** SAM: So no luck with Cas, huh? DEAN: Yeah, still AWOL. SAM: All right, so let's find him. DEAN: I've been trying, Sam. The GPS on his phone is turned off, and there's nothing in the system about some weird guy in a trench coat getting arrested or turning up dead. SAM: Right. Dean, it's Cas. I mean, this isn't the first time he's dropped off the map, you know? And whatever's happening, he'll be fine. He always is. DEAN: Yeah. Dean is unconvinced and continues cleaning his guns.

Also, aw. Sam may not always understand WHY, but when it comes to Cas, he handles Dean clumsily-but-trying-to-be-gentle, same as he and Bobby did way back in season 6. When it comes to Cas, Sam knows that Dean is pretty, erm, combustible.

///

In 12x19 The Future (and script), Dean is so angry and incredibly hurt about being ignored. Then, Cas tries to return the damn Led Zeppelin mixtape.

The mixtape looks very new, and given the events of 12x12 Stuck in the Middle (with You), it is very likely an item that Dean gifted specifically to try and feel out Cas's "I love you, I love all of you." Unfortunately, here, it feels like rejection. Dean takes it in stride.

From the episode transcipt: (Bunker Door opens) SAM: Cas. CAS: Hello. SAM: Hey. You're all right. Um – Where have you been? DEAN: Let me rephrase that for Sam. Where the hell have you been? And why have you ignored our phone calls? CAS: Where I was, the – the reception was, uh, poor. DEAN: No bars? No bars. That's his excuse. Wow. CAS: I was in Heaven. I was working with the angels. When I saw Dagon had captured Kelly, I-I thought they could help. SAM: And? CAS: Nothing. SAM: Well, at least you're back. We're glad you're back. DEAN: Really? No, I'm sorry. Okay, 'cause while you were striking out in Heaven, we had a shot at Dagon, and we lost. CAS: I know. I received your messages. DEAN: Oh, you did – you did receive the messages? Okay, that's good. CAS: Dean. DEAN: So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us? That's great. 'Cause we really could've used the backup. But, uh, you were too busy with, um (Clicks tongue) What was it? Nothing? CAS: Dean, I – DEAN: What the hell is wrong with you, man? You know, whatever. That's-- (chuckles painfully) Yeah. Welcome back. (walks away) SAM: Dean, y—

So, Dean senses (rightfully, mind you) that Cas is being secretive. Cas got his messages, and he didn't call him back while he was on the road or anything. And all that time, Dean though Cas was dead. I'd be pretty mad, too. Dean softens quickly and tries to express his desire for Cas keeping in contact:

(Dean on laptop in his room) (Knock on door) (Door opens) CAS: Sorry, Dean. Um I just wanted to return this. (hands Dean a cassette) DEAN: (woodenly, without looking at Cas. He extends the tape): It's a gift. You keep those. CAS: Oh. DEAN: Cas, you can't – (breaks) With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay. CAS: Well, I didn't mean to add to your distress.

The thing about this scene is...Cas knows the mixtape represents something emotional, and he knows that Dean's distressed. So, here he comes, and he plays on Dean's emotions to get him to lower his guard. It's...hm. Dishonest.

But later in the episode, because Dean knows Cas is doing all this tomfoolery to protect them, he forgives Cas remarkably easily. He even resolves to try to get on the same page as Cas, to "not let him walk away again."

CAS: I – Dean, I just keep failing. Again and again. When you were taken, I searched for months and I couldn't find you. And then Kelly escaped on my watch, and I couldn't find her. And I just wanted I needed to come back here with a win for you. For myself. DEAN: You think you're the only one rolling snake eyes here? Me and Sam, we had her. We had Kelly and we lost her. CAS: And if you find her again? DEAN: Sam's working on it. Of course, he's hell-bent on finding something that doesn't mean killing her or her kid. CAS: Right. And if he doesn't find something? If you run out of time, could either of you kill an innocent? DEAN: We will find a better way. CAS: You mean, we? DEAN: Yes, dumbass.

Dean's distress is even more apparent in the 12x19 script draft:

From the script (above): BANG! THE DOOR OPENS. Sam and Dean look up to see--CASTIEL. He pauses-- regards them sheepishly-- CAS: Hello. Sam and Dean are stunned. They haven't seen Cas since "Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell," when he left for Heaven without telling them. (Aside//He also disabled his GPS before he even left for Heaven, or they'd have known where he went!) SAM: Uh, hey Cas. (then) Where've you been? DEAN: Let me rephrase that for Sam-- "where the HELL have you been?" (then) Why didn't you return our calls? CAS: Where I was-- the reception was...poor. DEAN: No bars? That's your excuse? On Cas. A beat, then-- CAS: I've...I've been in Heaven. And that brings Sam and Dean up short. CAS: I was working with the angels. They're looking for Kelly Kline, too. The boys trade a look. SAM: And? Push in on Cas, a loaded beat. He shakes his head. CAS: Nothing. He seems ashamed. We'll realize later: Cas is lying. He does in fact have an active plan with the angels-- but one he must keep secret from the boys for now. Sam catches the dejection in Cas's voice, softens. SAM: We're just glad you're back. But Dean's not satisfied. DEAN: (to Sam) Really? (to Cas) Well, while your were striking out in Heaven, we got a shot at Dagon. CAS: I know-- I received your messages. DEAN: Ah. So you ditched us and you're been icing us out-- great. Cas looks away-- DEAN: Just saying, it would’ve been nice to have some back up-- you, like a super strong dude, in a trenchcoat. (dripping disdain) But hey, you were busy, you know-- with all that nothing.

Knowing the root of the issue--that Dean's emotional and "distressed," Cas doesn't even wait that long to go after him. Plus, Dean flashes the Colt, so Cas follows him to his room with the intent of acquiring it. Cas knows he's probably about to hurt Dean's feelings again, but for Dean's safety, it's worth the risk.

///

From the script (above): SAM: Dean-- But Dean ignores him-- stepping forward-- to Cas-- DEAN: Seriously-- what the Hell's wrong with you? On Cas. Not sure how to answer that. A beat then-- Dean turns-- grabs the Colt-- DEAN: Whatever. Welcome home.

Okay, so I'm sensing a SPNwin Millie parallel here, that no matter how mad they are at each other, no matter how mad Dean is at Cas, Dean is scripted to tell Cas WELCOME HOME. Gahhhhh!

Dean bails to his room, taking the Colt with him. Of Sam and Cas. Cas, torn... LATER... Dean's on his laptop, trying to bury himself in the Kelly Kline search. A knock on the door. He ignores it. After a beat, Cas steps in. Awkwardly-- CAS: Dean-- I'm sorry. Dean doesn't even look up. A long, awkward beat, then Cas places a MIXED TAPE on Dean's dresser. CAS: I--wanted to return this. We see a homemade label: "Dean's Top 13 Zepp Traxx." Dean still doesn't look up. Cas moves for the door-- DEAN: That was a gift. To keep. CAS: Oh. Dean turns to Cas-- softening a bit-- DEAN: Cas, you can't-- with everything that's going on, you can't just go dark. For weeks. (off Cas's look) We were worried, okay? On Cas. He's still cagey, keeping the weight of a (yet to be revealed) secret. Attempting to make peace... CAS: It wasn't my intention to add to your distress, I... On Cas, desperate to make things clear to Dean-- but he can't reveal too much. So he tells his emotional truth. CAS: Dean, I keep...failing. Again and again. When you and Sam were taken, I search for months-- I couldn't find you, Kelly escaped, on my watch-- and I couldn't find her. (beat) I just wanted-- needed to come back with a win. For you. For myself. And Dean gets that. DEAN: Look-- you're not the only one rolling snake eyes here. Me and Sam, we just had Kelly-- we lost her, too. CAS: And if you do find her...do you really think you can kill a pregnant women? Dean looks away-- the idea of doing that...it's his nightmare. And Cas notices. A beat, then-- Dean shakes his head, so wanting to believe... DEAN: Not gonna have to. We'll find a better way. CAS: We? DEAN: Yeah. We. (then) You ever think the reason we keep striking out is 'cause we're all off in our own corners? I mean-- when has that ever worked, right?

///

Later in the episode, it's clear that Cas isn't working with Heaven for his reputation. And Dean's mad about Cas lying and not communicating, sure, but he isn't really that mad about the theft of the Colt:

CAS: I...I wanted to keep you out of this-- to keep you safe. ***

(Dean working on Castiel's truck) (Dog barking in distance) SAM: How did this happen? DEAN: (Scoffs) What? The lying? The Heaven plan? Or the fact that I'm working on this stupid truck? SAM: No, I mean, what's wrong with Cas? DEAN: Well, he hasn't exactly had a banner year. I mean, think about it. Between Lucifer (Blows air) killing Billie, Ramiel, everything's been blowing up in his face. And he's so desperate for a win right now, he can't even see straight. (gestures to truck) Go ahead and give it a try. (Sam climbs in truck)

///

And later, Dean gets to watch his nightmare scenario play out— the thing he's been freaking out about all season since Billie warned of the cosmic consequences. Cas's impending death.

From above: WHAM! Cas falls to the group-- eyes glazed, face a bloody mash. Beaten. Dagon looks to Kelly-- DAGON: Look at him, your-- (with a sneer) Angelic defender. Heh. You really thought he could save you? This sad, fluttering, aimless little moth? Dagon reaches down, grabbing the front of Cas's shirt-- he tries to fight, but he's too weak, as-- Dagon hoists Cas up. His feet dangling in the air.

From above: And as Sam, Dean, and Kelly stare-- oh fucking no-- the bullet drops to the grass. Dagon looks to Dean-- DAGON: Cool, right? Before Dean can respond, the camera whips right-- and Dagon is behind him! Sam notices-- point-- SAM: Dean! Dean spins-- and Dagon grabs the colt with one hand, and strike with the other. Snapping a fist into Dean's elbow--BREAKING HIS ARM! With a sickening SNAP! Dean drops to the ground-- in AGONY-- leaving Dagon holding the Colt-- DAGON: Yeah...time to take this little bitch off the board. And the Colt goes lava-hot red in her hand. Sizzling-- On Dean. Can't believe what he's seeing-- DEAN: No! But it's too late. The Colt melts in Dagon's hand. Barrel and cylinder collapsing-- Camera moves to Cas, injured on the ground looking around-- At Kelly, helpless and cowering--- At Sam, injured by the bench-- At Dean, hurt and one his knees, in front of Dagon-- His worst nightmare-- everyone he tried to protect in pain and mortal danger. Dagon tosses what's left of the colt away.

//

From above: Dagon charges up her glowing, angel-smiting fist and swings-- SAM: Cas! DEAN: No! Cas stares death in the eye. Then-- GOLD LIGHT pulses up Kelly's arm (the same gold as Kelly's eyes in Act 2), rushing through Cas's arm-- we zoom into Cas's eyes--

///

And after Jack defeats Dagon, and Cas avoids death, it's still...strange. Gentle. Scary? Cas heals Dean but he seems serene, as if he's in a trance.

Sam and Dean stare at Cas-- Dean cradling his broken arm. He swaps a glance with Sam-- both in awe of Cas, but also shaken by his display of power.

///

In the last moment, we see Dean make up his mind. Dean decides that yeah, he's fighting FOR Cas. He's not going to let him walk away.

From above: He turns away-- Dean grabs Cas's arm-- DEAN: Cas, no-- whatever that thing did to you-- we're not gonna just let you walk away. Not again. (then, emotional) That's not happening. CAS: Yes. It is. It has to.

Because the unfortunate reality is...Dean can't stop him.

[only-one-brain-cell]

Me every time I see Luke and Pen on screen

[samsrowena]

why are you a liar dean

[arcanespillo]

helping

S2E10, S6E09

[jensensitive]

i wonder why they changed 12x18 from dean killing moloch to sam killing him, but also I bet it was just a jared and jensen thing

i really wish they would not just randomly change important elements of the story, it makes it so much harder to read coherently. Anyway this episode is sooo interesting, I haven't watched it in a while. For whatever reason I always thought the last scene where sam muses about how they're not the kind of people someone writes about dumb, considering chuck, but looking back on it, I think the whole episode is more in conversation w the idea of chuck and their lives as a story than I thought.

On first glance the whole episode seems so throwaway, but I think that's just because it's commenting so much on the idea of sam and dean (mostly dean lbr) as characters in a story. And I think the element of dean killing the god, who sees him as nothing more than meat to be sacrificed, is a fantastic fore cursor to 15x19 given that 12x19 'the future' is the next episode-- the unborn baby god that will usurp chuck's influence as author over dean, without dean having to kill him because that's not who he is, that's just who chuck wanted him to be. It's like establishing what the story of dean is-- including sleeping with random waitresses that look like his mom in an episode where we repeatedly see a picture of young dean and mary so thanks for that-- before breaking it down. Like that being the last time he sleeps with anyone in the show, and that being the last time the colt is used. Also wrt the chuck reading, it's interesting to think about how within this story, Dean sleeping with the waitress is part of the structure of the story to establish, along with the beginning with the kids in the woods all making out, the red herring when Sam posits the monster to be the god Pan, affecting people to bone until he'd eat them, instead of a man in a mask with a god on a leash. There's probably a lot more here than I had realised, like the masks worn to perpetuate generational cycles of violence. The parallel in the episode between the family and the winchesters that felt so heavy handed at first looks less stale when you see it as less a genuine commentary on sam and dean's lives and more chuck himself's heavy handed writing a la 15x05, but either way it's an interesting episode.

[ilkkawhat]

12.18 Malice in Wonderland

[amiwritesthings]

[monstermoviedean]

12x18. genuinely interesting episode. and by that i mean it's making me want to keep watching because i actually don't know what's going to happen next