#11th doctor fanfictions

[saiilorstars]

Ch. 15:  Fantasy Land

Current Masterlist // Previous Story

Fandom: Doctor Who // Pairing: 11th Doctor x OFC

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​​​​ @arrthurpendragon​​​​ @anotherunreadblog​​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​ @foxesandmagic @kmc1989 @caplanbuckybarnes​​​​

[If you would like to be added to this specific OC’s taglist, let me know!]

"Renata? Renata, you've overslept! Wake up!"

Somebody laughed but Renata felt too groggy to make it out right now.

"Renata, I know you're tired but I don't think you would like to fall behind on your schedule. You'd hate it, actually. You're all about routines, after all. Wake up already!"

Renata sat upright on a bed suddenly, her eyes blinking fast to clear up her blurry vision. Soon she found the man who was talking to her and she almost fell out of her bed from shock...and fear.

A tall man with dirty blonde hair, neatly parted, was smiling at her so sweetly...like he always did. "Sometimes I wonder how much time you actually put into these routines of yours…"

"Elek…" Renata said breathlessly. She could feel her hearts pounding in her chest. "How are you...?" This couldn't be possible. He couldn't be here with her.

And yet, Elek chuckled softly at her. "I think you slept pretty hard again. You're so confused. Didn't have another dream did you?"

"Dream?" Renata tilted her head slightly. When she said the word, she got a faint image of a man and a blue box — a TARDIS. As quickly as it came, it left.

"Gala?" Elek called to her gently. His hand cupped the side of her face. "Maybe you should lie back down and rest for a bit more."

"I'm fine…" Renata said slowly, sounding like she wasn't truly sure if that was the case. She started hearing a chirping noise...birds. They were...chirping. "Elek, do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"I'm not sure, a-a bird…"

"What's a bird?"

Renata blinked and the bird chirping faded away, leaving her in a moment of daze.

~ 0 ~

"Honestly, Asgari, can't you let it go?" The Doctor groaned as he strode down a hallway with a brunette woman hot on his trail.

She was outraged and the fact that the Doctor kept walking away from her only made her angrier. "No!" She shouted so hard that the Doctor winced into a stop. "You just got up and left and I had no idea where you were!"

"I just went out for a bit," he turned to face her and internally sighed. He honestly lost count how many times his wife got angry with him per day. "I was going to come back!"

"With you, I never know!" She huffed. "I never know anything about you and what you're gonna do!"

"Yeah, I know," he mumbled under his breath. Years of marriage had gone by for them and yet Asgari still felt like a stranger to him no matter how hard they tried to make things work. Not even the birth of their first child brought them closer.

Asgari shook her head at her husband. "I just want to know that if I need you, you'll be here."

"Of course I'll be," the Doctor said. He wasn't that terrible that he'd leave her behind to her own luck.

Asgari didn't seem so convinced and the Doctor thought it was fair. He'd just woken up that morning with a need - an urgency - for air. Asgari had been fast asleep and their daughter slept soundly in the next room. As much as the Doctor looked on at their daughter, he couldn't make the suffocation go away. He needed to leave the house for a bit. 'A bit', however, turned into hours. Asgari woke up and freaked, understandably.

"You should be," Asgari told him quietly, the disappointment flooding her simple three words. With one last look between them, she left him.

The Doctor thought it best to follow her to try and work it out but he started hearing a funny noise in the air. If he was correct, and he usually was, it sounded like Earth birds chirping…

He yawned. Maybe he should've stayed in bed…

~ 0 ~

"RORY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y!" Amy yelled at the top of her lungs, clutching her very pregnant belly. "It's starting!"

Rory had only just arrived home to hear his wife crying out for him. He left his bike to fall on the ground and hurried inside the house. "Ah. OK, OK!" However by the time he found Amy, she was sitting down in the kitchen with a bowl of batter in front of her...not looking like she was in labor as she had said only seconds ago. "False alarm," she shrugged. "What?" Rory blinked at her, confused.

"False alarm!"

"What!?"

Amy let her wooden spoon drop into the bowl as she huffed. "Well, I don't know what it feels like. I've never had a baby before." She couldn't help it if she kept repeating the false labor thing several times. It was her first child; she was clueless.

"So, when's the Doctor and Renata stopping by?" Rory moved on before Amy yelled at him. He came over to peek into the bowl and stuck a finger into the batter, much to Amy's annoyance.

She swatted his hand away and when he refused, she grabbed the wooden spoon to threaten his hand with. "I don't know," she shrugged. "Renata said tomorrow but you know with the Doctor's piloting skills…"

"Noo," Rory sarcastically said. He ended up taking the wooden spoon from Amy to fully taste the batter. "Well, he better get it right if he doesn't want to get on Gabby's bad side. She's coming in today."

Indeed Gabby would be coming to Leadworth for a visit since the Doctor and Renata promised that they would stop by. Gabby showed up a few hours later and, much to their delight, so did their Time Lords. The TARDIS appeared in their cottage's front yard and out popped the alien pair.

"Oh dear," Renata stepped out to see the flowers the TARDIS had ruined. "We've crushed your flowers."

Rory agreed. "Oh, Amy will kill you."

Renata made a face, making Gabby chuckle. "I should stop letting the Doctor land us. He makes messes as soon as we get somewhere."

The Doctor shot her a look for her comment. "Not on purpose!"

Renata playfully rolled her eyes at him and moved on to hug Rory and then Gabby. "It's so nice to see you all."

"I know, nice to see you too," Gabby hugged her back tightly then moved onto the Doctor. "How come you guys don't stop by more often?"

"Gabriella, I thought we went over this: the Doctor's piloting skills!"

"Oi!" the Doctor once again shot Renata a look. "You're getting too carried away!"

"Where's Amy?" Renata asked, looking around curiously. She figured that the TARDIS' loud landing noises would have brought Amy out like a magnet.

"She'll need a bit longer," Rory jerked a thumb over his shoulder towards the cottage's entrance.

"Whenever you're ready, Amy," called the Doctor, promptly ignoring Renata's 'Don't be rude' remark. He was much more interested in Amy's new protruding stomach. "Oh, wahey! Wahey. You've swallowed a planet!"

"Doctor!" Renata couldn't believe her ears...actually, she could because it was him. Still, it wouldn't mean that she would stand for it. "She's pregnant!" She beamed at the sight of Amy. "Oh my goodness, you're pregnant!"

Amy laughed and received her hug. "Yup. Pregnant."

"You're huge!" The Doctor exclaimed, either ignoring Renata's scold for it or simply not hearing her in all his awe.

Amy shook her head at both of them. Neither had changed a bit and that was just fine. "Yeah, I'm pregnant!"

It still somehow did not click for the Doctor. "Look at you. When worlds collide!"

"Wow," Gabby was truly amazed how he was regarded as one of the most intelligent beings in the universe and yet...he did this.

"Oh, look at you both. Five years later and you haven't changed a bit!" He went on and hugged Amy. "Apart from age and size."

"Doctor!" Renata huffed. "For the love of God!"

He stared at Amy until they all literally saw a spark in his eyes that came just before he asked, "Are you pregnant?"

Amy shook her head at him and started back for the cottage, prompting Rory to follow.

"You really haven't changed," Gabby laughed as she followed too.

"What?" The Doctor was left asking until Renata turned him towards her. "What I do?"

The Time Lady smiled at him. "You're unbelievable."

When the group was all settled, they decided to take a stroll through Leadworth. Gabby had only been in the town for Amy's and Rory's wedding so she wanted to see what else was around.

"Ah, Leadworth. Vibrant as ever," the Doctor said, clearly a strain due to its significant small size.

"It's Upper Leadworth, actually," Rory smiled proudly, "We've gone slightly upmarket."

"Where is everyone?"

"This is busy," Amy gestured to the very few people in the street. "OK, it's quiet, but it's really restful and healthy. Loads of people here live well into their 90s."

"I like it," Renata said, unsurprisingly for the others. Of course she would love the quaint towns like Leadworth. "I think it's a good place to live in and start a family."

Amy eventually slowed down until she had to take a rest on a bench. "Sorry," she apologized and rubbed her stomach.

"Don't be, it's normal," Renata said and sat down next to her. "Girl or boy?" She asked with as much curiosity as Amy's blood relatives had whenever they got into the same discussion.

"Don't know," Amy shrugged. "It's going to be a surprise."

"Oh, how nice," Renata beamed and looked at the others, specifically at the Doctor. "We are going to be here on time when this child comes." He playfully rolled his eyes at her but agreed he'd like to be there as well.

"I want to be here too," Gabby nodded. "I'm going to be an aunt! Are there names yet?"

"A few, but that's a surprise too," Rory said, sharing a knowing smile with Amy. They clearly had a name in mind.

"Alright," Gabby shrugged and turned away to get a better look at the town. There really were hardly any people on the street. "So, um, what exactly do you do here?"

"A lot," Rory said defensively, as if Gabby was already viewing Leadworth like the Doctor had: a small, boring town.

"Like what?"

"We relax...we live, we listen to the birds."

"Yeah, see, birds. Those are nice," Amy agreed somewhat as they started hearing the faint chirp of a birdsong.

"We didn't get time to listen to birdsong back in the TARDIS days."

The birdsong started getting louder.

"Uh...my head…" Renata rubbed her temples. Maybe she was exaggerating but the chirping sounded way too loud.

"Oh, blimey. My head's a bit, ooh…" The Doctor said with a scrunched face. "No, you're right, there wasn't a lot of time for birdsong back in the good...old... days."

Everyone had drifted into a sleep.

~ 0 ~

Gabby continuously giggled as she and Donna watched the tenth incarnated Renata and the tenth Doctor go back and forth in their little bickering session. They walked behind the pair down a street filled with cheerful celebrating humans.

"Doctor, I cannot believe you are this ridiculous," Renata huffed at the Doctor who had stopped at a stall to try on a classic funny hat.

"What? You don't like it?" He asked, tilting his head.

"No! Stop being a child and get us back to the TARDIS!"

He didn't wince with her scream but he didn't looked pleased to find that she was upset with their destination. "It's a simple celebration, Renée, have some fun."

"I don't like it," Renata shook her head.

"Well, Gabby and Donna sure do!" The Doctor returned the hat to its proper place. "Don't we, ladies?"

Donna rolled her eyes. "Oh sure, bring us into your argument. No thanks!" She promptly grabbed Gabby's arm and walked down a few stalls ahead. "Oh those two will be the death of me!" It was her turn to huff. "You know very well that they argue because they're attracted to each other."

Gabby agreed with a light chuckle. "I know."

"Maybe we should help them. Give 'em little nudges," Donna smirked. "Whaddya say?"

"I say that Renata will kill us but…" Gabby stopped walking and turned to face Donna. "We're the best duo they've got so let's go for it!"

Donna laughed and high-fived Gabby. They really were the best duo together. They returned to the bickering Time Lords to break them apart by suggesting that they go find somewhere to eat. Little did they know that they would be searching for a romantic spot for them.

Gabby was in charge of finding the spot while Donna bided some time for them. She had just turned down the corner when she heard a significantly loud bird chirping somewhere. She stopped and looked up at the sky. It was as normal as any Earth sky.

But then she felt so tired.

She yawned and brought a hand to her mouth to cover it up. Her eyes felt quite heavy suddenly...like she wanted a nap…

~ 0 ~

"I had a terrible nightmare…" the Doctor was saying to Renata when Amy, Rory and Gabby joined them in the console room.

"Me too," Renata was pale as she recalled her own dream. She hadn't dreamt about Elek in years, and that was just before she had met the Doctor again in 1969. Now suddenly she was dreaming that she was back on Gallifrey, married to Elek...

"Yeah, don't ask," the Doctor scrunched his face. He wasn't prepared to talk about Asgari again. He himself didn't like what he dreamt about as it made him beyond guilty remembering that he wasn't the best husband that Asgari deserved.

"You guys had bad dreams too?" Amy was rubbing her flat stomach as if she really was pregnant like she had been in her dream.

"What? Seriously? You guys too?" Gabby looked around and saw everyone, except for Rory, wore similar pale faces. She felt sick to her stomach and it wasn't because of the dream with Donna...but more to the fact that it was another reminder how she had failed recently to keep their endeavors on Renata and the Doctor safe.

"I had a dream but it wasn't a nightmare," Rory shrugged and glanced at Amy. "We were married."

The Doctor took note of the silent, but flashy, red lights on the console. That was unusual. "What's wrong with the console?"

Amy arched an eyebrow. "Yeah, in a little village."

"A sweet little village, and you were pregnant…" Rory trailed off when he realized that Amy knew exactly what he was talking about...as if she had the same dream.

"Yeah, I was huge. I was a boat!"

"You guys had the same dream?" Gabby quickly looked at the Doctor and Renata. "What did you dream about?"

The question kept them both silent.

"Okay…" Gabby cleared her throat, figuring she might as well go first. "I dreamt with you guys, but the previous you guys...and Donna." She looked down momentarily. Even if the dream had been a short one, it made her miss Donna like crazy again.

"You guys were there too," Amy suddenly remembered and pointed at the Time Lords. "But these current versions, not the last ones like Gabby's dream."

"Were we in any of your dreams?" Rory curiously wondered since it seemed like they were crossing dreams.

"No," Renata said quickly, and the Doctor agreed a few seconds later. "I was on Gallifrey...with my late husband." She waited to hear the Doctor's reaction but instead he admitted that his dream involved his own late wife.

"I haven't dreamed about Asgari in centuries," he confessed. "But it felt real."

"So did mine," Renata confessed. Everything about Elek had been accurate down the same way he used to laugh.

"I don't understand what's going on but I know that something's going on," Gabby declared and blew out some air. "Did you all hear the birds chirping in the end?" There was a collective nod amongst them. "Oh yeah, something's going on!"

"Look, it doesn't matter. We all had some kind of psychic episode. We probably jumped a time track…" the Doctor tried to say but even he didn't look convinced of his own words. "Forget it, we're back to reality now."

Amy stiffened. "Doctor, if we're back to reality how come I can still hear birds?"

"She's right," Renata whispered and turned to him, eyes filled with fear. "I hear it too."

They even felt the same tiredness as the first time just before everything went dark.

~ 0 ~

Renata blinked and she was back with Elek, having a calm breakfast together. She swallowed hard. "Elek…"

~ 0 ~

The Doctor blinked to find himself watching his young daughter fast asleep in her room. There was a terrible pit in his stomach now…

~ 0 ~

"Rory," Amy reached for Rory's hand and grabbed it tightly, "I'm scared."

"I know," he nodded in agreement.

While they had woken up from the chirping noise, their versions of the Doctor, Renata and Gabby acted like nothing had happened.

~ 0 ~

When they had been all pulled back into the same world in the TARDIS, they did a quick relay of what their world had done in the few minutes they'd been apart.

"We're looking at the park again," Amy and Rory had told them together.

"But there's ducks this time," Rory pointed out for the sake of adding more details to that world. He wanted to believe that maybe that other world really was theirs. Why wouldn't it be? It was lovely, calm and he and Amy were together and starting a family. It was just...amazing.

Gabby was slightly less hopeful. "Donna and I...we're planning again," she said quietly. "You and the Doctor...we're trying to push you together."

"Oh," Renata scratched the side of her head. "That, uh, that sounds right."

"Mhm," Gabby nodded. "That's what we used to do," she whispered. Was it wrong to hope - just a tiny bit - that the other world was the real one? The other world had Donna with all her memories. They were still friends and travelling together with the Doctor and Renata - their small space family. It was all so great...like it used to be once.

"What about you two?" Amy asked the silent Time Lords. She noticed that there was some reluctance from both of them to describe their worlds. "What are you doing right now?"

Renata swallowed hard. "Elek and I had breakfast together. He's going to work...I'm going to my foundation." Whether or not she wanted to, her gaze landed on the Doctor.

Knowing all eyes were on him to share, he did so, albeit quietly. "Just...just watching my daughter sleep."

Renata's hand flew to her stomach then. She had to swallow another thick lump in her throat.

A warm smile spread across the Doctor's face. Whether or not that world was real, that was his daughter. His firstborn. "It's like we're living the life we would've had if the war never happened."

"Yeah," Renata agreed with her gaze anywhere but him. She still saw, from the corner of her eye, that the Doctor had moved away from her, trying to work the controls again but if he was being honest, he was doing it to put some distance between them again. She felt it and she...may have agreed. Everything was fuzzy, reality wasn't clear. She, like him, had the guilty suspicion that maybe, just maybe, this reality wasn't theirs and they were truly meant to be on Gallifrey with their respective spouses.

They shouldn't be acting like anything beyond friends.

"So what do we do?" Amy once again pushed for some answers. "You said the TARDIS was dead, what do we do to get it back?"

"I don't know," the Doctor shrugged his shoulders. "I don't - I have no idea what's going on. Everything's off, sensors, core power. We're drifting. The scanner's down so we can't even see out. We could be anywhere. Someone, something, is overriding my controls."

"What could be so powerful to do that?" Gabby was wide-eyed with the news. In her long time travelling with them, she had never known anything to be able to do that. The Daleks in the Crucible were a different story. Plus, the only Daleks in the universe were mere scavengers right now. They couldn't be behind all this.

"Well, that took a while!" A new man's voice startled the group. They all quickly got in the same spot and turned to see the short man standing across them. He was rather familiar but no one could pinpoint how yet. It could be the similar clothing. "Honestly, I'd heard such good things. Last of the Time Lords, the Oncoming Storm. Him in the bow tie." His eyes flickered then to Renata, his smile stretching widely. "Oh, and the Vortex Butterfly. Who could forget about you? Certainly not that one." He jerked a thumb at the Doctor, and for the briefest moments his eyes had shifted over to Amy.

"How did you get into my TARDIS?" The Doctor stepped in front of the group, eyes narrowing on the stranger. "What are you?"

"What shall we call me? Well, if you're the Time Lord, let's call me the Dream Lord."

"I prefer intruder," Renata moved up to stand beside the Doctor, though she still couldn't bring herself to look at him. "You're trespassing."

"One could say so have you," he grinned. "But in other ways."

Renata's face paled. "What are you—?"

"Don't play stupid, Butterfly. I am in the past, the present - I am in everyone's head," the man made sure to look at every single one of them. "All of you carry secrets and guilt that you're too afraid to confess to."

"That's called being a human," Gabby tried to say but the man scoffed harshly, making her wince.

"No, that's what we call a terrible being."

The Doctor had reached for something inside his pocket and chucked it at the Dream Lord. Unlike everyone else who was surprised to see the thing go through the man, the Doctor wasn't. "Interesting…"

"I'd love to be impressed, but Dream Lord - it's in the name, isn't it? Spooky, not quite there." The Dream Lord disappeared and reappeared behind them, making them spin around to face him again. "And yet, very much here."

"You said in our heads," Rory pointed out. He was messing with them in their minds?

"Anyone want to take a guess what that is?" The Doctor made a gesture for anyone to try it out.

Amy was eager to answer first. "Um. Dream Lord. He creates dreams."

"Dreams, delusions, cheap tricks."

"And what about the gooseberry here, does he get a guess?" The Dream Lord nodded over to Rory who immediately jumped at the insult.

"Listen, mate, if anyone's the gooseberry around here, it's the Doctor."

The Dream Lord snorted. "There's a delusion I'm not responsible for."

"No, he is," Rory insisted, ignoring the Doctor's offended expression. "Isn't he, Amy?"

"Oh, Amy, have to sort your men out. Choose, even. That's one guilt," the Dream Lord grinned at the ginger.

Amy was now the center of attention and how she wished she wasn't. "I have chosen," she argued.

"Right," the Dream Lord said before glancing at Renata. "She would know though. After all, she was in the same position once upon a time. Got any tips on how not to screw it up?"

Renata breathed rather quickly in that moment. "Stop." Her voice had been a whisper. She felt her stomach twisting when she got to wondering how deeply this man knew her, of the Doctor, and their friends.

"None of you can fool me," the Dream Lord began, his voice cold as he once again gave each of the travelers a sharp look. "I see your minds, I see your thoughts. Oh...and I do see dreams. My dear Amy, when I say that you need to choose it's because I know you need to choose. I've seen your dreams. Some of them twice, Amy. Blimey, I'd blush if I had a blood supply or a real face."

"Where did you pick up this cheap cabaret act?" The Doctor cut him off before he went any further.

"Me? Oh, you're on shaky ground."

"Am I?"

"If you had any more tawdry quirks you could open up a Tawdry Quirk Shop. The madcap vehicle, the cockamamie hair, the clothes designed by a first-year fashion student... I'm surprised you haven't got a little purple space dog just to ram home what an intergalactic wag you are. Where was I?"

"Being a pain in the ass," Gabby was quick to answer. "What the hell are you? Because right now, you're looking like a parasite."

"Did Donna tell you that?" The Dream Lord sent her a big ole smile as she paled. "Oh, right, she can't anymore...because of you…"

"Leave her alone!" Renata snapped, but the man laughed.

"And here comes Mama Butterfly to save you. It's ironic, isn't it, Gabriella?" The man set his hands on his hips. "She's helped so much and yet..what did you do in return?"

Gabby's fell silent with her terrible guilt gnawing at her. She failed Renata, and Donna; that's what she had done. Renata always helped her, always looked after her as if she really was like a daughter to her and when the time came...she wasn't able to help Renata. In the Crucible, instead of helping Renata put an end to the Daleks, she got all weak and needy. When Donna had been so close to that severed hand, she wasn't able to stop her. She let the meta-crisis happen and lost Donna.

"Here's your challenge," the Dream Lord made a dramatic, long pause. "Each of you have been placed in a different world, only problem is I can't remember which one's the real one...can you?" He shot them a smirk. "Could be this one, where you're all together…" His eyes met the Doctor's and Renata's. "Or could it be one of the other worlds? On Gallifrey? Maybe the humans aren't real. Or perhaps it's still 2009 and Donna Noble is still travelling with you. Decide."

"And if we don't play along?" asked Renata defiantly.

"Then you're stuck forever going between different worlds. Each time you jump, though, you'll get weaker. Oh, and I might have thrown in a bit of a danger in some worlds."

"This time I wasn't the one to ask," the Doctor mumbled to her and earned a whack on the side.

The chirping noise alerted them that they would be jumping worlds again.

"Doctor, what do we do?" Amy covered her ears but then realized she wouldn't be able to hear the Doctor's answer. "Doctor!"

"Try to keep your eyes open for something that doesn't make sense!"

"Uh, that's going to be hard!" Rory gestured to the Doctor first in his long list of things that didn't make sense. "We're in a spaceship that's bigger on the inside than the outside, with a bow tie-wearing alien, a woman who sprouts butterfly wings, a girl who does the same thing…"

"Right, we get it, thanks," Renata muttered. "Just simple things! Sometimes we just…" She trailed off when the chirping became too loud for her. "...simple...just...simple things…"

"Ren? Ren!" The Doctor caught her slumping body and met her gaze one last time before her world went dark.

~ 0 ~

"Renata, you have to be more careful," Elek was holding the Time Lady in his arms. It took Renata a few minutes to realize they were right in front of the door; Elek was leaving for work but not anymore. "I love that being clumsy is an endearing part of your personality but right now it is the utmost importance that you take it easy."

"Clumsy?" Renata tried pulling herself away from him but he had such a firm grip around her that it was futile to try. "I'm not...I've never been clumsy."

That didn't make sense. "Try to keep your eyes open for something that doesn't make sense!"

At the Doctor's voice, Renata felt a series of chills run through her body. The Doctor. She loved im - had once loved him. That was in her past...wasn't it?

"Renata, I think you should go lay down again," Elek resolved that this was the best, and safest, option for Renata. "You're starting to worry me. The pregnancy is taking a toll on you."

Renata's hands came to rest on her stomach. She hadn't noticed it straightaway but she'd learned soon enough from Elek that she was pregnant. With no war, she was able to keep her pregnancy going. Her unborn child once again lived inside her.

"Oh God…" Her voice was shaky enough without her body deciding to join her in trembles. She was pregnant? Or she wasn't? She was with the Doctor, in the TARDIS - their TARDIS — as he once told her...if he had ever told her.

~ 0 ~

"You can't just keep watching your daughter and pretend like nothing's wrong," Asgari was beside the Doctor, keeping her tone quiet so their daughter, who remained asleep, wouldn't wake.

"Believe me, I'm not pretending," the Doctor took in a deep breath. He couldn't tear his eyes off his child no matter how much he tried. If this was all fake, then the illusions were so real...and if it was fake, then it was cruel.

Asgari shook her head. "You know, sometimes I wish we hadn't gotten married at all. I feel like we got along better before we were forced to marry."

The Doctor kept quiet but he silently agreed on that. Asgari was a lovely woman, when she had been his friend. She was a bit snarky, but it made her challenging personality all the more fun. They had bickering rounds when they were 'engaged' and those were fun, but that was it. It never compared to what he felt when he bickered with Renata, when he was so close to her ginger, freckled face. Asgari was beautiful but Renata was simply breathtaking.

But had their story truly ended the night before his wedding?

Did he never meet her again?

His hearts ached with both love and guilt. Love for his Renée, and guilt for Asgari and their children.

~ 0 ~

"I don't like being near to them," Amy whispered to Rory as they watched their versions of the Doctor, Renata and Gabby try a swingset. "They might not be real."

Rory couldn't help the scoff that escaped his lips. "Why would you think that? Why would you think that this world isn't real?"

"C'mon Rory," Amy turned to him, "Is this...is this really what we want our future to be like?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"I just feel like we could have more than…"

"A family?"

Amy fell silent. It only made Rory feel worse. How come he always ended up on this side of the path and Amy was stuck on the other one? He didn't feel like he demanded much, but it always seemed that way for Amy.

"Do you not want this?" He asked her, quieter as if anyone was listening in. "I thought you'd chosen me, not him."

Amy smiled at him. "You are always so insecure!"

Her nonchalant attitude wouldn't change the topic this time. "You ran off with another man!" He huffed.

"Not in that way! And Renata was there too, and Gabby!"

"Yet it didn't make much of a difference in the end, did it?" Rory's snap was a hard blow but one that he felt had to be made. It wasn't fair that Amy kept acting as if nothing happened because it did happen.

Amy looked down guiltily. "I said I was sorry."

"Yeah, but did you mean it?" Rory waited for her to answer but as it seemed, Amy was more troubled than previously thought.

~ 0 ~

"Oh this place is amazing!" Donna beamed at the lovely restaurant Gabby had found for them. It was like an old fashioned place with red brick walls, wooden tables and a pretty loud band playing in the corner.

Gabby only nodded as she kept looking at Donna and then the Doctor and then Renata. She couldn't get over the fact that this might all be fake, a plain farce.

The Doctor sure seemed to love the place. "It's great!"

Renata, on the other hand, wasn't so sure. "Does it have to be so loud?"

"They're just playing a gig," Donna shrugged. "They'll be off soon enough, you'll see. Go find us a table, hmm?" She glanced at the Time Lords with a hopeful smile.

"Yeah, alright. C'mon, Renée!" The Doctor offered her his arm and though Renata still didn't seem to like the place, she linked her arm with his.

"Let's see what we can do to push them together," Donna immediately told Gabby when they were gone. She pulled the girl towards the counter and called for the first employee that passed by.

Gabby watched and listened as Donna explained the situation to the employee. She smiled at Donna's determination to make things as romantic as possible for their friends. It was truly like nothing had changed. No doubt they would get into so much trouble from Renata if they were caught but it never mattered to them. They were the duo, the wing women, of the Time Lords and they had to do whatever they could to make them open their eyes.

[awkward-halfhug]

permission | eleventh doctor x reader

summary: you have your first kiss with the Doctor

sequel here

(also on my ao3)

2.1k

He's gone and done something stupid again. Stupid and heroic and brave and you're proud of him and angry at him at the same time.

You had prepared things to say to him. Angry things. But looking at him now, fresh from the fight, planet saved and looking like he's just avoided death by mere inches, all your frustrated words are gone. You still feel something strong, but it's not quite anger. Not mostly.

Now, the feelings you usually shove to the way way back of your subconscious are surging through you with a vengeance. He's standing there in front of you like that and you can't ignore it.

There's a split in his bottom lip, and that's sort of attractive, and it shouldn't be. He's got cuts on his arms and a bit of blood on his face, right by his temple, and that shouldn't be attractive either, but it is. So is the dirt on his clothes, his tie hanging undone around his collar, his shirtsleeves rolled up messily to the elbows. His hair is all over the place and he has this wild look in his eyes that you can't quite decipher.

He's never looked more beautiful.

You swallow, hard. You need to get a hold of herself. You know you do. But you don't want to get a hold of yourself. Your fingers itch to reach out and touch him.

You hold back. Because of the what ifs, because of who you are and who he is and how he deserves more and how very insignificant you are. You hold back like you always do.

Until you don't.

His collar is between your hands before you can talk yourself out of it, yanking him to you. And he's surprised, you can tell by the little yelp he gives, but you hope it's not bad surprised.

Now that he's close, your heart beats faster. Both of his seem to as well, although that could be because you surprised him. You hope that's not why. His eyes seem less wild now, but you still can't read the emotion in them, which does nothing for your confidence in this situation.

You clear your throat.

"Doctor?" You say, much quieter than you meant to.

"Mmm?" He manages.

"May I kiss you?" You rasp out, somehow even quieter than before.

At this, the Doctor's expression clears and morphs into another complicated one. Mild shock, delight(?), and for some reason, amusement. He's got a funny little lopsided smile on his face when he replies after a thoughtful moment.

"Yes, you most certainly may."

You huff out a relieved laugh, before slowly drawing yourself up onto your tiptoes, and placing your palms on either side of his head. Your gaze meets his with shyness, but upon reading...something...in his eyes, you gain the confidence you need.  Hesitantly, you close the gap between you and places your lips very gently on his face, right at the edge of his mouth.

You feels his breath catch. You hope that was okay. He said it was, so you'll try not to worry yourself over it.

You keeps your lips pressed there a moment.  The Doctor won't have known it, but he is now your very first kiss, and you want to remember this moment for a long time to come.

Eventually though, you pull back, just a little, and move to place your second kiss on his nose. You close your eyes for a second and smile to yourself, because you're sure that must seem silly to him, but you can't help it. You've been wanting to do that for a long time.

You pull back and look in his eyes, belatedly realizing that you had asked for one kiss, but took two. You hope he isn't upset.

But he doesnt look upset. Although you still can't quite tell what it is his eyes are saying at the moment. He looks a little dazed. But you don't see anger. You do see confusion, however. But you did ask him, so why--?

"Doctor?" Your voice is slighter louder than it was before.

"Huh?" His has gotten quieter.

"Is this okay?"

"Ve-" he tries to say, but seems to choke on the word and starts again. "Very." He answers, and he seems sincere.

You should probably leave well enough alone now. He's probably tired. He probably wants to go home to the TARDIS and eat his weight in pastries and then go lose himself in machinery. You should probably let him. Still, you find yourself asking-

"Is...Is it okay if I...kiss you again?"

He looks on the verge of tears now and you have no idea why that is but you feel sorry immediately. You're about to backtrack when he smiles. A tender, genuine smile, full of affection. That, you can identify. And it's aimed at you. Now you want to cry.

He nods and you smile back at him.

You lean in and places your third kiss ever, on the other side of his mouth. Then your fourth ever kiss, on his cheek, right under his left eye. You feel him smile as you do so, and are surprised to find yourself slightly annoyed by that. It's hard enough to reach his face, even with him bending down slightly, and you on your tiptoes. Why must he move his face around like that?

He starts laughing abruptly and you realize you're pouting. You pull back, but when he reaches for you, you stop retreating.

His hands hover over your hips, waiting, as he asks you, "May I?"

You're not sure what he's asking, but you trust him. You nod.

His hands grip your sides firmly, but gently, as he lifts you up and places you on a surface behind you that you weren't even aware was there in the first place. He steps forward into your space and you realize you're now eye level.

"Proceed." He says. His eyes are playful when he says it, but he seems nervous somehow. The Doctor, 6 foot tall Gallifreyan, Oncoming Storm, your best friend the Doctor, nervous? Because of you?

It just doesn't make sense. So you file it away for further analysis at a later time. Right now, you do what he says, and proceed.

You bring your hands back up to his face and take a moment to just brush your fingers across his skin. He closes his eyes. You think that's a good thing. Then you lean in and place your...fifth? Or fourth? You're going to have to stop counting. Seems kind of silly at this point. A wave of giddiness surges through you as you realize you've now had too many kisses to keep track of. And they've all been with the Doctor. Your Doctor. Your best friend.

You place your possibly-fifth kiss right under his other eye. Then another just between his eyebrows. A feather- light kiss on one closed eye, then the other.

His breathing's gotten heavy, and his hands tighten a little on your hips. Your face heats a bit. You'd forgotten his hands were there.

He squeezes his eyes shut tighter and a tear escapes.

You let out an alarmed noise and his eyes open again, but you can't tell if he looks sad or not. You give him a moment to say something. He looks like he wants to.

"Can I kiss you now?" His voice sounds much more stable than the tear would suggest.

His question, while perfectly reasonable, has you floored. You're not sure why, but you hadn't considered that he would want to kiss you. You're aware kissing is usually a mutual thing but...but still.

Truthfully You're a little bit scared. You're not quite sure you're ready for...for the kind of kissing he's probably used to.

Her heart is thudding in your chest by the time you finally work up the courage to answer him.

"If...if you want to?" It came out like a question. Smooth.

One of his hands reaches up to cradle your head, like you did with his. And he brings his lips to your face, just to the side of your mouth, just like you had done to him. You feel herself gasping, just like he had. You get it now.

He takes his time, before bringing his lips to the tip of your nose, then the other side of your mouth, then to just below your eyes, one by one, tracing the same path you made with your lips on his face. It's so tender, and torturous and loving that it makes your chest ache. By the time he's done placing a kiss on each of your closed eyes you can feel yourself crying. Not just one tear, like the Doctor had, but a steady stream of them out of both eyes. You get that now too.

You feel his arms wrap around you, feel him pull you tight against his chest, and you sob. You don't even know what you're sobbing for, you just can't stop now. Your body wracks as the sobbing gets harder and his arms tighten around you, almost crushing you to him.

You're pretty sure this is not how someone's first kiss is supposed to go. Or someone's first several kisses. You were so happy a few moments ago. You're still  happy, you're pretty sure of it. So why can't you stop crying? Whatever the emotion is that you're feeling, it's strong.

The Doctor's soothing voice breaks through your confused thoughts. He's saying things like "it's alright" and similar phrases, but amongst them are words in another language you only hear him speak when he thinks he's alone.

That thought distracts you enough to calm you down, and you pull herself together. Wiping your face with your sleeves, you pull back from him slightly. His arms loosen from around you but drop back down to your hips, not willing to release you yet. The thought makes you feel light again.

"Sorry" you say to his chest.

The Doctor hooks a finger under your chin and gently brings your face up to look at him.

Whatever it was you thought you'd see in his face- pity, awkwardness, regret; it's not there. What you see is understanding. Warmth. Affection. He smiles at you and you almost can't take it. Almost starts crying again. You doesn't, but just barely. What is wrong with you today?

"Can I have just one more kiss?" The Doctor whispers, and he looks unsure you'll say yes. You're acting like a crybaby, of course he's afraid you'll burst into tears again. But you do want another kiss, whether the tears give that impression or not.

You look him in the eyes and nod. You brace yourself for another feather light brush to your cheek.

He ducks his head, hesitates, and then his lips capture yours. You gasp. His mouth moves against yours and your brain short circuits. It takes you a few moments but eventually your mouth starts to move against his with unsure movements. He seems encouraged by this and presses his lips firmly into yours.

You can hear a whooshing sound in your head where coherent thought used to be. All you can think now is this is not like the other kisses, and more more more.

You pull back a centimeter from his lips so that you can catch your breath, and then you attache your mouth to his again, a little more forcefully than you had intended. He chuckles a little and you find yourself laughing with him, before he's kissing you again.

You move their mouths together for an eternity, or mere minutes, you have no idea. And then he surprises you again by running his tongue along your top lip. You gasp, again. And then his tongue is in your mouth, and you always thought that kind of thing sounded gross. But it's not. It's just...not. you feel like your body is going to explode and your legs feel like jelly and you're suddenly very glad he put you on this perch.

He pulls back, places several slow, pulling kisses to your lips, and then rest his forehead to yours.

He's breathing hard too, you're gratified to note.

Neither of you say anything for a while. You don't seem to need to.

The cool evening breeze brings you both back to reality when you shiver. The Doctor runs his hands up and down your arms to warm you and you lean into him, wrapping your arms around his torso. You both sigh contentedly together.

Your mind starts to sober as the adrenaline from the kiss wears off. You feel comfortable in his arms, and you want to stay there. Will you ever be able to be held like this by him again? What if he thinks this was a one-off? What if this was just another casual kiss for him? You've seen him kiss strangers before, usually in gratitude and he doesn't seem to think anything of it. Is this like that for him? You feel even colder now, and your shivers become more violent.

"May I hold your hand?" The Doctor's voice rumbles in her ear, causing you to shiver for a different reason.

The Doctor's companion pulls your head back to look at him. You're trying to read him but once again, his expression is unreadable. Yoy give up and focuses on what he said.

The way he says it gives you  pause. Like he's asking for more than that. Like the answer to his question would be the start of something. Or like a continuation of things already started. Things you just put in motion. Or maybe they've been in motion for quite a long time, you've both just been ignoring it. Whatever the case, it renews your confidence. This is serious to him, just as it is to you. You know your answer.

"Yes, you most certainly may." You echo his words back to him.

His relief is clear on his face. He doesn't even bother hiding it. Have you not been the only insecure one in this relationship?

"Pastries back in the TARDIS?" The Doctor whispers.

You bury your face into him again and smile into his shoulder. "And cocoa."

"And cocoa. Mustn't forget the cocoa."

"Would be a crime" you nod.

"The worst kind." The Doctor agrees. "Let's go"

The Doctor lifts yoy off your perch and places you back on solid ground. You huddle into his side immediately.

Hand in smaller hand, you walk back to your TARDIS.

♡ thank you for reading! please consider reblogging/commenting if you enjoyed, it means a lot

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Star-Crossed (Doctor Who One-Shot)

Eleventh Doctor x GN!Reader (fluff/angst)

Summary: You and the Doctor find out that neither of you are on the same page when it comes to defining your relationship.

EVERYTHING: @winchxters

DW: @nyxiethesimp @quickslvxrr @midnight--raine @blueberry-sunshines @stevekempscocktails @go-bonkers-go-foolish @peytonpenguin37 @yeethaw13 @complimentary-breadbasket @thekirbishow @stilestotherescue @madspads @catlynharper@merrilark @jaziona92 @yeehawbrothers @mochabonesblog @iguirisu @thegen3sisark @wereallbrokenangels @florduarte @pansexual-imp (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Star-crossed lovers. That's what people called the two of you. After you'd both averted some new catastrophe on a random moon or planet and the people you'd befriended on this particular adventure dragged you away to ask what it was like- travelling with the Doctor.

"It must be nice, travelling the stars with such a handsome partner."

"You're both so lucky to have each other."

"Tell us, is he a good kisser?"

On and on it went. Planet after planet, moon after moon. And you wish you knew if he was a good kisser or not. You wish you knew what it was like to cuddle under a ship window and listen to him tell you stories. You wish you knew what it was like to sleep next to each other and have him cuddle you back to sleep (if he slept at all, of course). All of these things and more, but from what you could tell- he just wasn't interested.

"Come on, now," the Doctor broke you from your sulking. You took a deep breath and looked over at him. "What's that face for? It's a new day, new adventure, new hijinks. We've got it made, you and me."

You forced a smile onto your lips, feeling incredibly overwhelmed by a lot of things right now.

"What face, Doctor? There's no face. Promise."

The Doctor clicked his tongue, brows furrowing disapprovingly at your very obvious lie. Abandoning his post by the console, the Doctor came to sit by you, throwing his arm over your shoulders comfortingly.

"All right," he acquiesced as you turned your head to face away from him. You craved this kind of physical affection from him, but it also hurt. A lot. "Pretend for a second that I believe you, what could I do to make your great day even better, hmm?"

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, and suddenly the Doctor's thumb and forefinger were under your chin and turning your head towards him.

"What's wrong, Petal? I can't stand to see you hurt like this."

"I just- look, it's silly, but I get tired of hearing people mistake us for a couple all the time," you explained, eyes downcast. Then, the Doctor's arm was no longer around you and the cool of the TARDIS interior made you shiver.

Forcing yourself to make eye contact with him, you were very surprised and frightened to see hurt on his features. This confused you, and you reached for one of his hands which was currently picking at his nails anxiously.

"You don't want to be a couple anymore then?" He asked, struggling to not look away from you.

"Well, I-" you started and then abruptly stopped. "Anymore? What do you mean 'anymore'?"

Now the Doctor looked just as confused as you did. You could see the gears trying to turn in his brain but struggling.

"I've spent a great deal of my time around humans," the Doctor said, processing. "Do you mean to tell me... I've been considering us a couple going on four or five months and you didn't know?"

You opened your mouth. Closed it again. You were seeing error.exe messages in your mind's eye. What was happening right now?

"But- I- we've never even kissed?" You protested, windows computer noises playing over your brain as you tried to figure out how this miscommunication could have happened.

"I thought you wanted to take things slow," the Doctor answered.

You couldn't help it. You burst into laughter. Raucous, loud, boisterous laughter that filled the room and out into the hallways. The Doctor followed, little giggles that turned into full-bellied laughter in no time.

You couldn't believe the ridiculousness of the situation. How could he have thought that? How could you have thought he wasn't interested? Gods, there was a lot of miscommunication there that needed to be seriously looked at as some sort of Ripley's believe it or not record.

When you were able to stop your giggling long enough to take a breather, the Doctor took your hand.

"Given we didn't do this the right way the first time," he said, looking equally as mystified by the situation. "I feel it's my duty to ask... would you like to go out with me? Complete restart. From the beginning."

"Yes," you grinned, wiping the tears of laughter from your cheek with your shoulder. "I would love to go on a date with you."

"Excellent!" He exclaimed, jumping up and heading to the console. "Now, you go put something on. Something... fit for a nice dinner and a movie, and I'll put the coordinates in. Go on, off you pop."

You hopped up, feeling giddy with excitement. A fresh start, this was just what you needed. Maybe you were star-crossed lovers after all.

[shuichiakainx]

[13thdoctorplease]

Hiii, I was wondering if you could do headcannons for the doctors and having an affectionate/cuddly s/o? My fav doctors are 9 & 10 but any doctors are fine <3

your favs are 9&10 and mine are 11&13... so why just dont go with all of them? here you go, anon!

9th: At first, he gives you some weird looks. You grab his hands while walking, and he shoots you a side-eye, but he lets you. Whenever you need him, he's there. When you let him go, he steps back. He doesn't like it when you tap his head or cup his cheeks; he'll pout until you're laughing and wrapping your arms around his neck. Eventually, he gets used to holding you with an arm around your shoulders, letting you rest your head on his chest. Strangers often mistake you for a long-term couple, but in reality, you're just clingy, and he... well, he just can't say no to you.

10th: He's not really expecting it when you run into his arms just because you're excited about the planet you're both visiting, but he immediately accepts and hugs you tight. Later, he realizes he really enjoys physical contact when your hand is always on his arm while you talk. You hug him from behind when he's turned to the console, and he doesn't let you see his smile, but his hands are over yours anyway. You're affectionate, but he's needy. He likes holding hands, and eventually, he starts initiating contact too. It's nice, and you blush when people say you two would make a beautiful couple, especially when he agrees.

11th: He's the one who starts it. He has a hand on your back while you two explore an alien museum, and you take the chance to melt onto his body. He looks at you but says nothing, and now this is simply your thing. You like to be in his arms and to kiss his cheek, and he reciprocates by letting his chin rest on your shoulder/head (depending on how tall you are) and kissing your forehead before you go home. He's soft and goofy, and sometimes he doesn't let you get out of his embrace.

12th: He's not a hugger, and you respect it, but there are plenty of other ways to show your affection. You run your fingers on the back of his neck when sitting next to each other and always play with the collar of his shirt. He tries to pull your hands away, but you come back every time until he gives up and kisses your wrist, letting you do whatever you want. Sometimes he doesn't respond to your touch, but the look in his eyes already says everything you need to know.

13th: She loves everything you do and doesn't seem to notice when you tangle your fingers together. She holds your hand in hers as if it were usual, and that's pretty much it. She's obsessed with hugs, and it's kind of hard to find a moment where she isn't all over you. You couldn't imagine a happier life.

[redskull199987]

Happy Tears

11th Doctor x fem!reader Word Count:1.7k Warnings:none at all, all fluffy. This is set in the first episode of season 7, so also no spoilers Summary:You knew that the Doctor was alive. Not only because you refused to believe that he was dead, but also because River told you that he wasn’t. The only question was, If he would return… Masterlist

The Doctor didn’t plan on returning. He really didn’t. He thought it would be safer for them. For Amy and Rory. And for you. He believed that it was his duty to protect his friends. And he did that in keeping his distance.

But were you really just a friend? Was that really all you were to him? He remembered the day he met you, as if it were yesterday. When he still had another face. Just a young girl with a pure heart and no idea whatsoever to do with her life. And the Doctor just came along and swooped you away. Quite literally, as he had to save you from an exploding building. It always made him smile, when he remembered with how much confidence you jumped off that roof and into his Tardis. 

And he was there to catch you. He would always be there to catch you. He knew that and so did you. 

In fact, the Doctor was embarrassingly aware of how often he looked after you, visiting you without telling you, just admiring you from afar and making sure, that you were safe. He sometimes even saw you with the Ponds. On coffee dates with Amy or cruising around with Rory in his new Car. 

Or simply just for Christmas Dinner. 

And that was exactly what brought him back. Christmas Dinner. He wasn’t sure if this really was the right choice, but he knew he had to try. To at least keep in contact with you. Who knows, maybe even take you on an adventure or two. 

His two hearts were beating rapidly, as he made his way out of the Tardis. The dark Blue front door of the Ponds immediately catching his attention. And he was about to go knock, when he decided to look back at the Tardis one last time, pondering if he should leave again. But what he saw instead, caused his breathing to stagger for a second.

There you were. Just walking down the street, probably on your way to the Ponds. Just like the Doctor. He slowly walked back onto the street again and took in your appearance. A big fluffy coat covered most of your body. He could barely see your black boots underneath it. He couldn’t prevent the chuckle that left his lips, as he realized that you were wearing a long multi-colored scarf that was tightly wrapped around you. Your gaze was directed to the floor, while you slowly walked towards him. A pair of big headphones sat atop of your head, which was probably the reason why you didn’t see him yet. 

The Doctor just stood there for a few seconds, enjoying this moment. The knowledge, that you would see him in a few moments and sprint towards him, probably with tears in your eyes, as he could finally hug you again. Feel your body against his, hear your sweet voice again. Oh and your eyes, your big curious eyes would finally look at him, with the most adoration, he had ever felt in his life. 

It seemed that the doctor got too caught up in his thoughts of you. Only when you called out to him, he snapped back into reality.

“Doctor?”, You asked nervously, your voice breaking slightly.

But the Doctor didn’t say a word, he only smiled at you and opened his arms. And as he predicted, You immediately ran towards him and when your body collided with his, it almost took him off his feet. But after a few seconds, he managed to find his footing again. The smile on his lips only got bigger, as he heard your relived chuckle, while you held onto him tightly. 

After a few moments of intensely hugging each other, the two of you finally parted again. The Doctor looked down at you, his smile bigger than ever and his eyes practically glowing. His hands were still laying on top of your shoulders. He finally had you back. After all this time of traveling alone, he finally had you back.

“Hello? Earth to Timelord?!”, you suddenly said, waving a hand in front of his face, startling him slightly. You could only chuckle at his reaction:”You haven’t changed a bit, Doctor.”

“Is that good or bad?”, he asked curiously. You could hear a bit of nervousness lingering in his voice, while his gaze slowly drifted from your eyes to your lips.

“Oh Doctor.”, You chided, your hand rising to grasp his cheek,”No matter how much you change, you’ll always be my Doctor.”

All of a sudden, the Doctor seemed to find his confidence again and a smirk appeared on his face:”Your Doctor?”

“Ehm, I-I mean…”, you stuttered helplessly, looking down while you felt heat creeping up your neck and all the way to your cheeks,”You know what I mean, Doctor.”

“Do I now?”, he teased further. But your breath stocked, as he suddenly grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand back to rest on his cheek. You looked back up at him, confusion written all over your face.

“I do.”, he finally said, after a few seconds of Silence. A content smile graced his features, while he slowly leaned closer to you:”The Question is, do you?”

His words were hushed and gentle, only for you to hear. His gaze was focused on your lips only and it seemed like he waited for permission.

“I do.”

That was all he needed. He pressed his lips against yours tenderly. Almost afraid that you would push him away again. But you didn’t. On the contrary, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, while you deepened the kiss.

The Doctor, a bit surprised by your reaction, wildy waved his hands around for a second, before he finally decided to rest them on your waist. His touch was soft, treating you like you were porcelain. It was similar to his kiss.

When the two of you had to part, the need for oxygen finally becoming too overwhelming, both of you were panting rapidly, but still holding onto each other for dear life.

“It was about time, wasn’t it?”, You asked after you had caught your breath again. The Doctor could only nod, before he leaned in again, kissing you softly on your forehead.

“I’ll always…always be here for you.”, the Doctor mumbled,”I’ll alway protect you.”

You watched how a tear ran down his cheek. You gently raised your hand again and wiped it away.

“Look at you.”, you smiled,”Happy tears, that’s a first, isn’t it?”

“There’s a first time for everything, I suppose.”, he agreed, while pulling you closer again. for one last time, he pressed his lips to yours. It only lasted a few seconds, but it made you long for more. 

Only now, as you were about to knock at the Pond’s door, probably bringing them the biggest surprise in their life yet, you spotted something behind the Doctor.

“You know what?”, you said, patting his chest lovingly, “You go say hi to the Ponds, I’ll say hy to the Tardis.”

The Doctor could only smile at you:”She missed you almost as much as I did.”

“Of course she did.”, You grinned before sprinting towards the Time Machine.

You took in her form. She looked exactly the same, but it still made your heart flutter. You hastily pulled out your Tardis key, that you always carried with you, just in case, and quickly opened the door. You took a deep breath in, before stepping inside. Almost immediately, you heard the familiar humming coming from the console. 

“Oh I missed you too, old girl.”, You smiled, quickly ascending the stairs to look around.

”He’s taken good care of you, hasn’t he?”, you breathed out, while taking in the familiar surroundings. It felt so good to be back.

“And you took good care of him, hm?”, You whispered, your hand now resting on the console. You heard the distant humming again and you took it as a yes. Before you could say anything more, the monitor suddenly came swinging towards you. You quickly ducked away, afraid you might hit your head.

“You want to show me someth-”, Your voice died down, as you saw it. The small picture of you, taped to the edge of the monitor. It was the day, the Doctor took you onto your first adventure together. You looked so young, you almost couldn’t belive your eyes. 

“Thank you, old girl.”, You smiled contently, before quickly making your way outside again.

You couldn’t stop the laugh that left your lips, as you saw the Doctor and Amy in her doorway, just staring at each other, both too stubborn to hug first. You swiftly jogged over to them.

”Just hug already!”, you shouted, while simultaneously pushing the Doctor against Amy, forcing both of them to hug. Laughing erupted in the hallway, while the two fo them finally hugged.

“Rory?!”, You questioned into the kitchen,”Look who finally showed up!”

Only seconds later, Rory’s head popped out of the Kitchen. A smile soon appeared on his lips, as he saw who your entourage was.

“Was about time.”, he chuckled, patting the Doctors shoulder,”Come on, we were about to eat.”

“If it doesn’t cause too much trouble.”, The Doctor said nervously, while searching for your eyes for help.

“Oh don’t worry.”, You chided.

“Yeah, she’s right.”, Amy agreed,”We always set up a place for you. Come on.”

With that, the Ponds walked back into the kitchen, while you and the Doctor remained in the hallway for a few more moments.

“Oh Doctor. We already had that today, didn’t we?”, You chuckled softly as you raised your hand again to wipe away his tears,”You know, I could get used to you happy crying.”

His entire face changed in seconds,”Don’t you dare.”, without another word, he pecked your cheek before following the Ponds into the Kitchen. You could hear the sound of their laughter chiming into the hallway.

A content smile sat on your Face. You were finally home, together with the people you loved most.

[pastanest]

Eleventh Doctor x she/her!reader

AN: this is an ANGSTY one which is usually not the vibe for me but I got lost in this idea and completely fell in love with it so I really hope you like it!! this is the ost piece I was listening to while writing -

Set Things Right

With a sigh, the Doctor rubs his face with his hands, then places his palms flat against the console of the Tardis. She wheezes halfheartedly, seeming to wince in pain.

“Why can’t you tell me what’s wrong?” The Time Lord pleads with her, desperate for any sign, any handy hint on what he can possibly do to help her. 

The two of them have been drifting aimlessly through deep space for a time that even a lord of such a thing has been unable to truly focus on. Hours, days, weeks - he doesn’t know, all of it has been lost to the worry over his oldest and truest companion. The one piece of home he has left. 

Closing his eyes tightly in a pained blink, the Doctor takes a deep breath in an attempt to tune himself into the Tardis further, to understand her, just enough to help. In focussing as hard as he possibly can, his subconscious grabs at the first sound it finds, no more than an unidentifiable flicker, but the Doctor hones his thoughts to the spark that the Tardis has sent him, whatever it may be. The very moment the sound becomes clear to him, though, the Doctor flinches away from the console, feeling a physical tear through his hearts and rubbing against his shirt to soothe the ache that resides there. Has resided there, and been ignored for another time that he dares not address.

“Don’t. Just…don’t, please. She’s….” The Doctor shakes his head, refusing to say the words as he falls against the railing, gripping it with one hand at his back while the other still holds his chest, as though shielding his hearts from another fatal blow. “She can’t help us, not anymore.”

And he feels it, the judgemental gaze of the Tardis on him at every angle, even in her weakened state. Loosening his bowtie to escape some of the pressure, the Doctor speeds from the control room, past a door that he knows was not previously so close to the main control room but he will not give her the satisfaction of acknowledging it, past the swimming pool, and towards the library. There must be something in here, he thinks to himself, haphazardly throwing books from the shelves on which they previously sat and creating a disheveled pile in the center of the room behind him, hoping one of them may contain the secret to healing his sickly time machine.

Quite suddenly, the Tardis jolts to the right, sending the Doctor falling into the pile of books he had unintentionally used to form his own landing pad. Jumping back to his feet with a firm frown on his face, the Doctor straightens his shirt and huffs.

“Now, I know you aren’t very well, but there is no need-”

Interrupting him, the Tardis throws him back to the ground with another fierce jolt, and then she bursts to life in what the Doctor can only describe as a fit of rage. She is taking flight, furiously, to a destination of her own choosing, with no regard for the Time Lord that is crawling his way back to the main control room through corridors that she turns on their heads, walls that she shrinks and enlarges, floors that she shakes and cracks with the sheer force of her determination.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” The Doctor shouts into the main control room, over her screeches, as glass panels splinter at his feet.

Flinging himself at the console, he grabs the monitor with both hands and tries to read the Gallifreyan text, the co-ordinates, anything, but she is flying too fast for his eyes to keep up with her train of thought as it blazes across the screen.

And with a final, deafening crash that sends the Doctor hurtling into the railing, the Tardis halts to a sudden stop. She wheezes again, but this time it almost sounds…relieved? As though wherever she has landed, it has brought her a sense of peace. This place can heal her wounds, the Doctor recognises her feelings towards it, and his ever curious mind is buzzing with excitement at the thought of such an incredible, new place. 

“Oh, where have you brought me this time, old girl?” Having already forgiven her for the bumpy ride, the ancient god is giddy, rubbing his hands together and retying his bowtie, grabbing his tweed jacket as he races for the door. 

He braces himself as he reaches for the wooden panel, hand trembling with excitement. With a deep breath, the Doctor pushes open the door and steps out into the brand new world. Except it isn’t, and it is. 

The street is one he would recognise even if he had never set foot there, because he knows this planet almost as well as he had known his own. Earth, the planet to have given him the greatest friends and adventures he’d ever known. But this street is not one he has never set foot on. The Doctor is a man who cannot look back because he dares not, there are many streets on this planet that he avoids for fear of the pain he would revisit on seeing them again, in the absence of those he once knew occupied them. And this street is no different, except in that it is the most recent of the streets he never wanted to see again, and in the way that he has been forced to do exactly that. He wants to run and hide, more than anything, but he is frozen to the spot, because something isn’t right. The air tastes different, the gravity feels slightly askew, and he can’t tell what year it is amidst the emotional tidal wave of it all. As fundamentally wrong as all of those aspects are, the Doctor cannot deny that they point to one possibility amongst a million others, but that one - regardless of the agony - he cannot live with the regret of denying. 

And then he hears it again. The same sound he had heard when inside the Tardis, the sound she had told him would help her, and now again, in the place she has taken him to heal her. Time seems to slow as the Doctor turns to his left, his eyes immediately locking onto and blurring a perfect vision he never thought he would see again. You.

Laughing so hard you are throwing your head back, eyes crinkled and tears spilling at their creases, your mobile phone to your ear only mildly distorting the view of you. Completely oblivious to the big, sad eyes that watch over you, a trembling smile of pure anguish choking out a disbelieving laugh with you, though he has no idea what you are laughing at. 

Clutching at his chest and feeling the world around him beginning to spin, the Time Lord stumbles back through the doors of his time machine and falls to the floor, pressing his back against the wooden panels in an effort to lock himself away. 

For the briefest second, all he feels is pain. Wound after wound tearing through his very being, bleeding him dry and crushing him into dust. And then that second ends, and the oncoming storm rises to his feet, a darkened frown etched into his brow.

“Why.” He mutters, approaching the console. “Why. WHY!” He throws his arms in the air and slams them against either side of the monitor, watching as you disappear down the street and then shoving the monitor away from him. “WHY would you bring me here?! What kind of cruel trick is this?! How DARE you! How…could you? How could you take me back to a time when she was…when you know that I can’t…” 

The Doctor trails off, defeated, and collapses onto the jump seat with his head in his hands.

Sensing his anguish, the Tardis groans at him, exasperated by the way in which he continues to miss the obvious. Sending the monitor flying back over to the side of the console that the Doctor is facing, the Tardis displays the exact time and date beyond her doors and waits. It takes the solemn, lonely man several seconds to lift his sorrowful gaze from his hands and read the Gallifreyan text she has written for him. 

He blinks, and blinks again. Then stands, closing the distance between himself and the monitor. 

“But, this can’t be right, that means…” The cogs begin to turn inside the mind of a genius, knowing for a reason he cannot come to terms with that he could not have possibly seen you on this date, in this time.

And as the realization hits him, his eyes widen, the Tardis seeming to screech in pure glee as her masterful plan is revealed to him. 

“You…” He whispers in disbelief. “You punctured a hole in the fabric of the universe…to bring us to a parallel world, where…” 

A soft knock at the door interrupts his bewildered and undecidedly disapproving train of thought. Leaning around the console, he frowns in confusion and, in a daze, strolls over to the door. Opening it just enough to show himself and not the bigger-on-the-inside majesty of his time machine, the Doctor unintentionally finds himself very nearly nose to nose, with you.

Jumping back in surprise, you chuckle. “Oh, hello! Blimey, talk about up close and personal!”

And the Doctor cannot say a word. In all his hundreds of years, you are the one thing to render him completely and utterly speechless. 

“Anyway, sorry to disturb you and your…policey business? I’m guessing this is a new thing or I just never noticed this blue box on the corner of my street, but, is this somewhere that I can raise concerns?” You ask him, staring up at him with the most clueless and curious expression. The pain caused by the lack of recognition in your eyes is nothing compared to the bliss of seeing the life within them.

Without a word, the Doctor nods.

“Oh, perfect! There’s this guy that’s been following me home from work in the evenings and it’s really starting to freak me out. I’m not sure if I just report it to you and you keep an eye out, since he hasn’t done anything and the law for creeps is lenient at the best of times, but if you’re stationed here I just wanted to give you a heads up, I guess.” You glance to either side, as though fearful the man you are reporting could overhear, but then your eyes meet the Doctor’s again and you smile so kindly. “Anyway, that was all. Hope you have a good night and don’t get too cramped in there! See ya!”

And, like what you’ve done hasn’t just altered the course of history, you spin on your heel and walk away without a care in the world. 

The Doctor closes the Tardis doors again and turns to face the console. 

“We can’t be here. She doesn’t recognise me, this version of her has never met me- well, she has now, I suppose, and that is entirely your fault! But she doesn’t know me, she’s lived the days on this planet that another version of her spent traveling through time and space with me, she has stayed safe here and I cannot do anything to jeopardize that, not again, so we have to-” He stops himself, mid-ramble and mid-walk to the center console.

“Except…the other version of her, the version that we knew, she mentioned a man that followed her home, just once.” His blood runs cold. “She said that had we not met when we did, she feared what he would have ended up doing to her, and in this timeline…” The Doctor’s fists clench at his sides as the reality of the situation dawns on him. “You have given me an impossible choice. To choose between the very fabric of the universe, and saving her just one more time.” He straightens his bowtie and heads for the door, casting a flirtatious smirk over his shoulder. 

“And you knew exactly what I would choose, you sexy thing.”

The next morning, you all but stumble into your office in a half-asleep state, having stayed awake far too late the previous night watching youtube videos about conspiracy theories to distract yourself from the curious, bowtie-wearing policeman you had met. Falling into the spinny chair behind your desk, you open your laptop and start tapping away to log yourself in for the day, tuning out the background noise of your coworkers doing the same. 

“Ahh, (Y/N)!” Your manager’s voice makes you jump, your life flashing before your suddenly wide eyes as you sit up straight and turn to face him.

“I wanted to introduce you to John Smith, he’s a detective in the area that’s been assigned to watch over this part of town due to some unsightly folks being reported on the streets!” He grimaces at the thought, but you hardly notice, your eyes having already gravitated towards the tall, slim man with the dopey smile on his face as he watches the tiniest spark of recognition ignite in your eyes. 

Standing from your chair, you hold a hand out to him. “We’ve met, actually, but I didn’t think it’d amount to this! Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Smith.”

If possible, the warm smile on his face brightens to challenge even the sun outside. “Duty calls! Pleasure’s all mine, but please, call me the Doctor.” He pretends to very dramatically whisper “It’s my code name.” 

Unable to stop yourself, you giggle and shake your head at his antics, making the young man with ancient eyes beam. 

“I’ll be surveying the area today, but this evening I wondered if you could take me on your route home, so that I can evaluate any…unsightly folks.” He says, referencing your report the day before and your manager’s choice of words.

You nod at him, smiling gratefully. “That’d be wonderful, thanks…Doctor.” 

And oh, how his hearts both skip a beat at hearing you say that.

For the rest of the day, you sit at your laptop and work away, while occasionally casting glances out of the window and at the carpark below, where the curious bowtie-wearing Doctor-policeman “surveys the area”. Now, you don’t pride yourself on being knowledgeable about police work, but you are quite confident that it doesn’t usually entail climbing trees simply to sit in them or getting bored enough to begin peeping in people’s parked cars and accidentally setting several car alarms off. All the same, every glance from the window leaves you with a smile that you truly struggle to wipe from your face, even in the wake of your desk job. 

At the end of your working day, you practically skip out of your office in search of the sweet fool that has offered to walk you home. You find him waiting beneath a streetlamp, surrounded by its golden glow, casting a halo over him that you can’t help to find somewhat metaphorical.

“Evening Doctor, had a good day?” You tease, knowing as well as he does that you have seen the majority of his antics.

“Good evening! I did have quite a good day, yes, did get a bit dull towards the middle, but as long as it helps keep the community safe, I will do it! How was your day?” He kindly returns your question, the two of you subconsciously starting to walk in step with each other.

“It was alright, bit dull, like you say, but we got through it!” You change the subject. “Before I entrust you with my route home, do you have a badge to prove your position, detective?”

Something twinkles in his eye at your sensibility, your desire to protect yourself, and the opportunity for him to show off one of his favorite party tricks. “Ah, of course! Here.” 

Digging into his tweed jacket, he retrieves a leather bound wallet and opens it out to you. The second you have digested the words on the small piece of paper within it, you are laughing so hard you are throwing your head back.

The Doctor, in a state of pure confusion, rapidly looks between you and the psychic paper. “What? What does it say?!”

Wiping your eyes, you try to calm yourself down. “It’s safe to say your flirting is much appreciated after a long day, Doctor.”

With wide eyes, the Time Lord reads over the piece of psychic paper that has never been more accurately named than when it answered your question of his professional title with a few, simple words. 

The love of your life.

And the Doctor has never flushed a more violent shade of red in all his years. With a disgruntled cough, he shoves the wallet back in his jacket.

“I am so sorry, that was not at all appropriate, please forgive-”

Nudging him playfully, you cut him off. “Nothing to forgive! As I said, I appreciated it. I know a creep when I see one, as proven, so I can tell when someone isn’t one. Translation: you can flirt with me as much as you like, pretty boy.”

He expects your flirting to fluster him even more, having not heard it in some time, but the sentiment is so familiar and by extension, comforting to him, the Doctor finds himself relaxing into your presence again, like nothing has changed.

“Pretty boy?” He chuckles.

You shrug. “Yeah, I’d definitely say you’re pretty. I suppose I’d have to, if you’re the love of my life.”

Playing along, the Doctor smiles at you, perhaps a little too adoringly. “Well, yes, it would be quite a shame if one of those statements were false.”

“Either one, in fact.” You give him a cheeky grin, the two of you sharing a comfortable laugh as you pass beneath another streetlight along your walk home that you have memorized so completely, you have all the time in the world to memorize an entirely new part of it.

By the time the Doctor walks you to your front door that evening, both of your faces ache from smiling as much as you have. 

“I regret to inform, I didn’t look behind us to see if we were being followed at any point.” You say, feigning disappointment in yourself that the Time Lord very quickly catches onto.

“Ah, well, in that case, I regret to inform the same- and it’s my job! I am rubbish at this.” 

His response brings another warm laugh from you. “I wouldn’t say you’re rubbish, but I think it is only fair we reconvene tomorrow evening and ensure we do keep our wits about us. What do you think?”

And the Doctor is grinning at you like you’re a tree with silver leaves, standing tall in deep red grass, beneath twin suns. A piece of home he truly never thought he would find again.

“I think I owe it to you, after my poor show today.”

With that, you’re smiling right back at him. “Wonderful! See you tomorrow then, Doctor.”

He raises his hand without really thinking about it and gives a very awkward wave, considering how close the two of you are standing, but it seems you are already accustomed to his clumsy social skills and have found the charm in them that speaks to your heart in the same way it does across every version of you. Sharing one final laugh, the two of you part ways, the Doctor beginning to retrace his steps from your house to his Tardis. 

When casting one last look over his shoulder, he sees you still standing in your half-open doorway, watching after him with a lingering smile that is so beautifully familiar to him. With a more socially acceptable distance now between you, he waves again, and you wave back, stepping into your house and closing your door behind you. And with a spring in his step that was previously long forgotten, the Doctor returns to his time machine.

She is in wonderful spirits, of course, seeing her Time Lord return with such a dopey smile plastered between rosey cheeks as he recounts the day he’s had, everything you said, everything you did. The Tardis makes what can only be described as mechanical noises of approval with every new piece of information about you. 

Knowing he can’t risk trying to time travel to the next morning when already breaking the rules by being in this parallel world to begin with, the Doctor decides to spend the rest of the evening and night tidying up. Something he doesn’t often do, as the Tardis will usually default to clean settings whenever he leaves a room in a mess, but she watches endearingly as he tidies away the books he’d thrown into to the library floor, polishes the railings of the main control room, and strangely, tidies away the fairy lights that you had wrapped around the bannister what feels like a lifetime ago, because you had insisted the Tardis could use a little more ‘dolling up’, as you put it. A classy girl, you had called her. No wonder she is still so fond of you.

But the Doctor had been unable to merely focus his gaze on the little glowing orbs that decorated the main control room, ever since you had last set foot in there. The reminder of your physical presence and the agony of the absence that followed was too much for him to confront, and yet here he is, wrapping them up and tidying them away like Christmas decorations that have been left up just a little too long. It is curious, the Tardis thinks. Does this mean he is ready to start processing his grief? Is he simply on an emotional high from seeing you again, to the point where he can touch the tangible reminders of you that were previously forbidden to trembling hands? Or, does he wish for you to set foot in here again and make the request for fairy lights that he will already have waiting for you? The Tardis does not know, but she knows very well what she hopes to be the truth.

The next morning, the Doctor actually decides to go on a stroll to the local shops. He had visited them only a handful of times with you before and often found them to be incredibly boring, which they once again proved themselves to be when he arrived at 5am to find none of them were open yet. Naturally, he spun around the carpark in shopping trolleys until the doors opened hours later. 

At work, you sit at your desk tapping your shoes against the carpet beneath it impatiently, glancing out of the window every few seconds with a frown that you truly cannot believe is there. Are you really this disturbed by the lack of presence of a man you have known no more than 48 hours?

But when he hobbles into the carpark, very awkwardly carrying a foldable ping-pong set, you struggle to contain the howling laughter that brings tears to your eyes. You watch in absolute wonder as the strange man sets the table up against a tree he had climbed the previous day, in perfect view of the window by your desk, and then turns to wave at you, ping-pong paddle in hand and a goofy grin on his face as he points at it and the table, in case you hadn’t noticed it. Waving back and miming that yes, you acknowledge the ping-pong table he has brought with him, you shake your head in disbelief and finally allow yourself to focus on your work. Meanwhile, in the distance there is the occasional, disdainful yell of a Time Lord playing ping-pong against a tree and losing.

That evening, the Doctor is once again waiting for you under the same streetlamp, illuminated by the same angelic glow as the evening before, and you can’t help feeling that each time you see him standing under it, that becomes more and more fitting.

“Evening Doctor, what’s the final score?” You ask, gesturing to the ping-pong table that he has left in the carpark.

Scoffing and pouting dramatically, the Doctor replies. “I don’t want to talk about it, but good evening.”

In an instant, the two of you are chuckling again, like old friends that have known each other far longer than you two have. Or rather, far longer than you have known him. The walk to your home continues in much the same way as it did the previous day, except the Doctor is more aware of your surroundings this time.

“So, I said to her, y’know, that’s totally unreasonable, and then she-”

The Doctor interrupts you by gently tapping your hand with his own as they swing between you. 

“I don’t want to alarm you, but we are being followed. Carry on as you were, I’ll keep watch.” He whispers, your arm immediately going rigid with fear beside him, but nodding along with his reassurances. “You are completely safe. I won’t let anything harm you.”

Clearing your throat, you continue. “Sorry, just remembered I forgot to save a file at work and made a mental note to sort that tomorrow. Anyway, as I was saying-”

Listening dutifully to your stories, as he always has, the Doctor only occasionally casts sideways glances to the opposite side of the street, where a shadowed figure is walking ever so slightly behind the two of you.

Once safely at your door, the two of you share a small smile, but your nervousness is obvious.

“Please, dont worry. After tonight, you won’t ever have to feel this way again. I will deal with him.” The Doctor tells you, voice soft but words firm in their meaning.

And you don’t know why, but you trust him completely. “Thank you. Goodnight, Doctor.”

With that, he gives you a warm smile, one that you will hold onto for the rest of the night. “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

He waits until you have stepped inside your home, closed and locked the front door, before he takes his leave. There is no skip in his step this time, his shoes thud against the concrete road with a determination and fury like no other.

Walking over to his Tardis, the Doctor rests his back against the doors and crosses his arms. 

“I know you’re hiding over there, I know you like to follow her. Just tell me why.” He speaks into the street that appears empty, but in his peripheral vision, he can see the same hooded shadow that had been following you earlier, hiding around the corner of someone else’s house.

For a moment, the stalker says nothing and the Doctor is tempted to speak again, but then a voice greets him from the dark.

“None of your business.”

The Doctor laughs coldly. “I’m afraid that’s where you’re wrong. By choosing to subject her to the fear that you have, you have made this my business. So, I’ll ask again, just once: why?”

The hooded figure considers the words and the obvious confidence of the bowtie-wearing man that leans against a police box. Based on this, he evidently tries to choose his words carefully, but not carefully enough.

“I like the way she walks faster when she sees me behind her.”

The Doctor’s blood boils in his veins. “You like to scare her?”

When no voice replies to correct him, the Time Lord stands up from leaning against the Tardis and walks over to the monster of a man that thinks himself hidden. 

“Does it make you feel powerful, scaring her? Like you’re making some impact on the world?” The Doctor seethes. “Let me make myself very clear: she is one world that will forever be out of your reach, both in who she is and the fact I will make sure of it. She is under my protection, do you want to know what that means?”

Without giving the monster time to answer, the Doctor grabs him by a tuft of his hair and slams his forehead into his, sending him a shockwave compilation of the Time Lord’s most formidable and incredible moments. The paper man crumbles to the floor, a shaking mess, and the Doctor stands tall over him. 

“If I ever see your face again, it will be your last day on this planet.” The Doctor threatens, voice eerily soft given the weight of his words.

Nodding frantically, the stalker scrambles to his feet and sprints as fast as he can away from the ancient god. 

Rubbing his face tiredly, the Doctor returns to his time machine and collapses on the jump seat. 

“He won't bother her again, she’s safe now.” He tells his oldest companion.

She whirrs pleasantly at him, grateful for him having saved you, but reiterating a question that already nags at his mind.

“After seeing my list of atrocities, it’s highly likely he’ll ever come back. We should…” He trails off, exhausted by the task of sharing his own history with another mind in such a way. Sighing deeply, he sits back in the chair. “But highly likely still isn’t definite. I should probably stay, just one more day, to be certain.”

And the next day, after another wonderful walk home with you, the Time Lord comes skipping through the Tardis doors with another beaming grin. 

“Well, there’s no way he would come back the day after I threatened to remove him from the planet, and I can't leave her so suddenly without an explanation! I owe her that, at least.”

But he is only justifying the continuation down this path to himself, the Tardis holds no opposition to what would usually cause her and the fabric of reality a great deal of stress.

Before he knows it, the Doctor has done the impossible: he has lived a normal week in normal human time. He knows that without you, he never could have done such a thing. To be honest, even if he had been with you as he was before, he would have struggled with this. Having lost you and lived without you in the way that he has, he has never wished more for the most mundane parts of a life with you. All the time spent running with you at his side, facing varying degrees of danger head on, running on adrenaline and saving planet after planet - it was only when he lost you that he realized in doing all of that, he barely had the time to just walk with you. Talk about your day, the weather, your friends, the gossip about town, the slow passing of an evening instead of cramming a month’s worth of adventures into a week of traveling and then dropping you back into your normal life on the same day you’d left it. How you adjusted to both, how you effectively gave up on the life you had here, the one he has now been blessed enough to live with you, he will never know.

And on the last night of the working week, when the two of you share a look that acknowledges the fact you won’t see each other again until Monday, and you invite him into your home for a cup of tea, the Doctor feels a piece of his hearts slot back into place.

Stepping into your home, without the souvenirs and paintings from your travels with the Doctor filling every empty space, only seeing pieces of you everywhere, your ornaments and trinkets and chosen wall art - all of it sings your name to him like a prayer. It is strange, to step into someone’s home for the first time and feel a sense of nostalgia. Something feels wrong, still, but the Time Lord allows himself to be blinded by everything that feels right, the constant comfort that he feels in your presence, the peace you bring his ancient mind. Just once, he feels he is allowed to ignore the nagging in his brain. The universe can let him have this, just for a little while longer.

Having made the Doctor the best cup of tea he has ever had - simply because it is you that has made it - you inform him it is against your code of conduct to stay in your work clothes once you have returned home, and rapidly ascend the stairs, leaving the Time Lord sitting in your living room in a lovesick daze. And when you re-enter the room in the coziest looking pajamas he has ever seen, the Doctor is absolutely certain that the look in his eyes tells you loud and clear, he would do anything for you. 

Flopping down on the sofa beside him, you kick your feet up on the plush footstool ahead of you. “So, Friday night, what are we saying - takeaway and a film?”

You could have asked him to marry you and the question would have sounded just as heavenly. The Doctor nods frantically, grinning after you as you briefly exit the room again and return with a box full of paper menus for various takeaway places, asking him to pick while you choose a film that you say he has to see at least once in his life. He pretends to deliberate, his eyes fixed on you as you dig through your stacks of DVD’s, but he knows that he’s going to choose your favorite takeaway and you’re going to put on your favorite film, which he has watched with you a number of times before, but cannot wait to watch again for the first time.

In the post-takeaway bloat, the Doctor has discarded his tweed jacket and bowtie, and undone the top two buttons of his shirt, while you have simply shifted your position to be snuggled into his side with your head against his chest. The two of you are snuggled under a fluffy blanket, watching your favorite movie in silence, save for your choice commentary over your favorite scenes. With your ear pressed against his chest, the Doctor wonders how you haven’t made a point of his irregular sounding heartbeats. While you have acknowledged it in your own head, something about it feels normal to you, preventing you from having any kind of reaction beyond being comforted by its sound. 

And never before has the Time Lord wished to be stuck in a time loop more. If the only way he could live this day, everyday, for the rest of time, would be to play it out over and over again, he would never complain about a thing. If his moral compass had a gray area that was just a little larger, he could let his Tardis being here cause a fracture in the fabric of reality with any number of consequences, if it meant he could stay here with you. But above all else, the Doctor wishes he could have a silly little job to complain about, that everyday he could come home to your little house, cook and eat dinner with you at your dining table, laugh about the days you’ve had and yours plans for the next ones, then snuggle up on the sofa in your pajamas to watch your favorite shows until you were tired enough to go to sleep. And every night, he would carry you up to bed, looking down at your sleeping face and planning each and every night how he’d ask you to marry him someday soon.

It isn’t until you feel a droplet against your head and sit up to face him that the Doctor realizes he desires that life so strongly it has reduced him to tears. 

“Doctor? What’s wrong?!” 

The care in your voice, the way he can tell you already feel for him, the bond you have automatically slipped back into without even trying. He has made an imprint on your life again, he couldn’t help it. He was here to save you just one more time, to set things right so that he and his time machine could grieve and carry on, that was his purpose here, but he has gone too far. There is no logical way that he can leave unnoticed and in any which way he left you now, he would hurt you. While it would only be a fraction of the agony he has lived in without you, he cannot bring himself to hurt you in any capacity, not again. 

“I have to show you something.” The Doctor tells you, standing up from the sofa and taking your hand, grabbing his jacket with the other and leading you to your front door. 

It is silent as you step into a pair of slippers big enough to fit your fluffy socks in, staring up at the Doctor in confusion and concern, and it is silent as the two of you walk the short distance between your house and his police box. 

Taking a deep breath, the Doctor pushes open the door and gently tugs you inside. Your legs falter behind him and he turns to face you, seeing an exact replay of the shock and wonder in your eyes as he did on the first occasion he brought you here. But there isn’t time, not anymore.

“Not a policeman, a time traveller. This is my ship, it’s bigger on the inside.” With your hand still in his, the ancient god rushes through the necessary clarifications as he leads you through the main control room, down a flight of stairs, and to the door that he previously couldn’t bear looking at, that the Tardis had moved closer to the main control room than it had ever been before.

The Doctor’s other hand is shaking as he reaches for the handle, but he cannot delay this any longer. He has gone too far.

Turning the handle dowards, he pushes the door open, the gesture weak but taking everything from him, his arm falling limp at his side. The room glows at your arrival, the Tardis sensing your return and greeting you in a warm smile. And despite the overwhelming strangeness of it all, you manage a small smile back at her. 

The Doctor feels your hand slip away from his as you cautiously step into the room, while he feels an invisible barrier denying him entry. After everything, he does not deserve the right to stand in there with you.

“This universe is not the only one.” He begins, voice light as he focuses on telling you a story, providing an explanation of what came first, forcing himself to forget what came after until he has no choice but to tell you that, too. “There is an ever expanding number of galaxies and worlds out there in this universe and others, and time is like…a cabinet, with folders pressed together that are so similar, only those who know them well enough could tear them apart. Parallel worlds.” 

His eyes are fixed to you as you seem to glide around the room, gaze lingering on every trinket you see, until you reach the fireplace to the left of the door. It bursts to life at your presence, flames roaring and firewood crackling, warming your slippers, but you neglect to notice that, otherwise entranced by the photographs that decorate the mantelpiece. Frame after frame, all different sizes, some photographs not framed yet, but placed there still, waiting to be stood with pride amongst the rest. Your own face, and the Doctor’s, smiling back at you in each and every one, with backgrounds of countless different places.

“I was lucky enough to meet you in a world parallel to this one. We…traveled together.” He takes a deep breath, watching you pick up some of the photographs to examine them closer, a confused frown on your face as you stare at them with such intensity. “There are planets safe in the sky, stars that sing songs of that version of you for saving them, even just for visiting them. That version of you was like…a sun, to many a planet, spreading an infectious joy wherever you went…to none more than me.” With a sad smile, his gaze drops to the floor, the line of your doorway that he cannot cross. “I took you from the planet that created you, the stardust from which you were born, and because of me, that world is now without you.” All light drains from the Doctor’s voice then, the weight of his crimes crushing the flicker of his spirit that only you could bring back. “What should have been an easy pit stop on an asteroid became the worst day in existence. It was your birthday- not that you remembered, you hadn’t been living earth days for some time, but you had mentioned how much you enjoyed celebrating and I couldn’t strip you of that human right along with everything else.” As kind as his gesture had been at the time, on reflection it is morbid, cynical and cruel. Everything he did that led you there had grown sour in the absence of you. “I took you to the largest asteroid belt in history, so that we could have a picnic there and you could take another photograph for your collection. But when we arrived…” The Time Lord swallows the lump in his throat, remembering every agonizing second as though it was happening all over again. “Colonizers, that was what they called themselves. A disorganized group of criminals; a broken cyberman and discharged jadoon, among them. They had stolen a vortex tunnel, which in itself was a terrible crime- they thought they could control one but not even Time Lords managed to master them. My history and their anger towards me for it was waiting outside the Tardis doors but because it had been clear when I’d set the picnic up, I didn’t think to scan the perimeter again. I sent you out there first to surprise you, and they-” Trembling fists clench at his sides, closing his eyes in a pained blink before opening them to a grave frown. “They’d already grabbed you and before I could say anything, they’d thrown you inside.”

Having already placed the photographs back on the mantelpiece, you watch the wonder of a man you’ve come to know crumble with shame. 

“What does a vortex tunnel do?” You ask, voice barely above a whisper so as to not upset him further by verbalizing such painful memories for him too loudly.

“Vortex tunnels are a risky means of escape. They pluck you from where you’re standing and send you hurtling across space and time with no definite destination. They could send someone to random coordinates, floating in space, to certain death- there is no way to predict them.” The Doctor answers, keeping his words factual and objective to regain some composure.

“Why would anyone want to use one?” You question gently.

“Desperation. Based on their unpredictability, they are illegal and kept in stasis, but there have been cases of criminals that use them to avoid trial and execution.” He replies.

“Couldn’t outer space police track them down, or something?” You aren’t quite sure you understand the full extent of the events, feeling that certain aspects are missing and it is down to you to piece together what you can while trying to save the Doctor from reliving such pain.

“Vortex tunnels don’t just send you across time and space, they erase your mind entirely. In the highly unlikely case of someone being tracked to where the tunnel had spat them out, they have no memory of their crimes, so cannot be charged for them. The creature that they were, all but ceases to be.” His voice is light again, fragile this time at the thought of the person he had known being erased from existence and left stranded. “There was no way for me to trace you, not even with a psychic link in the Tardis, because the psychic link with you was gone, your mind as we knew it, was gone. The Colonizers jumped into it afterwards, of course, to escape me.” The Doctor rubs his face with his hands, then places a palm against the doorframe. “She’s the reason I’m here. She mourned you so deeply that she ripped a hole in the fabric of reality to bring me to a parallel world, just to save you one last time, to make our last memory something better.” His hand falls to his side. “But I went too far, again. I stayed too long, made too much of an impression on this version of you, your life here. Now, leaving will hurt you, but I can’t take you with me. Not only do I refuse to take you away from the world, the family that is yours a second time, but I cannot replace her. As similar as you are, you are not her, and I know it. Something has felt wrong from the moment I arrived and as much as I’ve tried to ignore it, I can’t anymore-“

“What family?” You interrupt him, stunning him into silence for a moment.

He is so shocked by your question, he manages to meet your eyes for the first time since opening your bedroom door. “Your family, your parents.”

Your brow furrows, expression lost. “I…don’t have parents, Doctor.”

The Time Lord stares at you, dumbfounded. 

And then he’s walking towards you, stepping across the invisible barrier and breaking the distance to stare into your eyes, read what lies beyond them, a stern frown etched in his features. “Yes, you do. As different as parallel worlds can be, if you did not have parents, you would be a very different person. Your mother picked out your living room curtains, your father built the coffee table in there-”

You shake your head, interrupting him again. “Those were both part of the house, they were there when I arrived.”

Too perplexed to continue this interrogation manually, the Doctor takes your hand and all but drags you back to the main control room. Retrieving his sonic screwdriver from his jacket pocket, he scans your brain and then transfers the data to his monitor, eyes reading the Gallifreyan data displayed over and over again, trying to make sense of it.

“Is there something wrong with me, Doctor?” You ask, beginning to worry based on his expansive knowledge and lack of ability to give you an explanation.

Looking from his monitor to you, he scowls. “Arrived.”

“What?” You question.

“You didn’t say the furniture was there when you moved in, you said it was there when you arrived.” His eyes slowly start to widen. “You saw the Tardis. When we first landed here- she automatically blends in with the world around her, but you saw her. And when I told you to call me the Doctor, you didn’t question it, not once. Despite being introduced to you as John Smith, you never called me that, even in private.” Slow, hesitant steps towards you, as though he’s scared to approach what you could be. “You didn’t question anything, throughout my explanation. Not the time travel, not the Tardis or referring to her as ‘she’, not parallel worlds, not the alien species I referenced, not how we met, the places we’d been- you only started asking questions in the end, about the only things that - out of everything I told you - you didn’t already know.”

His words sink into your skin slowly, your mind finding it much more difficult to digest this information than it had everything else the Doctor has previously told you, and he’s right, all of that should have raised more questions from you.

The Doctor reaches for your hand so slowly, and you don’t know why, but you accept it, instinctively. A small smile blooms on his face, the tiniest glimmer of hope as he looks between you and the Tardis console.

“She wasn’t sick, oh, you sexy thing- that’s how she brought us here, she was tracking you across time and space, pinpointing the anomaly of you, thrown from your own timestream and into another.” He whispers, bringing your hand to his lips to place a kiss against your knuckles. “If we fly away from here, if we go back to your Earth, the timeline will correct itself and you should remember everything- we can’t let this anomaly continue or it could tear apart time and space in some grandiose butterfly effect!” 

And he lets go of your hand to run around the console, pressing buttons and pulling levers with an exhilarated grin on his face, the Tardis whirring with excitement, while you just stand there.

“All this time, I thought she couldn't find you, silly old Doctor! I was slow on the uptake, as usual- I hope the Shadow Proclamation can forgive any ripples in the continuum that follow this, but-”

“Doctor, wait.”

He stops suddenly, the wondrous time machine collapsing into silence. 

“The fact I already trust you as much as I do and don’t feel terrified by this frankly alarming turn of events, suggests you and the Tardis are right, but…remembering an entire life that, as of now, I don’t fully recognise I’ve lived, how will that feel?” For the first time since meeting the Doctor in this world, you are scared at the thought of what comes next.

Understanding your concern, the Doctor returns to you and takes your hands in his. “Quite honestly, I have no idea, I’ve never seen the recovery process from a vortex tunnel. I can only guess that it will feel overwhelming, it could send you to sleep, but whatever happens, I will be right here, and you will be fine. I promise you. I will never risk you again.”

He holds your face in his hands, gaze locked with yours.

Taking a deep breath, you nod. “Okay.”

The Doctor smiles at you. “Keep your eyes on me and reach for the lever on your left, you know the one.”

And like it’s second nature, your hand grabs the very lever he’s referring to, bringing a beaming grin from the Time Lord as you tug it down. 

With a wheeze and a groan, the wonderful time machine lifts into the sky and drags herself out of the parallel world, beginning the journey back to the one you came from. Through the time vortex, your knees buckle, winding you and forcing you to collapse into the Doctor, who holds you against him so tightly, slowly lowering the two of you to the floor to hold you on his lap, arms keeping your body safe as your mind races a mile a minute.

“You can do this, we’re almost there. Come on (Y/N), hold on, for me.” He murmurs into your ear, comforting you through the tears that wrack your body, memories attacking you from every angle. 

Regardless of how happy the majority of those memories are, to experience them all at once and at the same time as all of the sad ones, the painful ones; to feel every emotion you are capable of feeling simultaneously and remembering every instance in which you have felt every one, in a microsecond; a human mind can only cope with so much.

The memories of his smile and laugh overlay every flashing image of every place you’ve been together, every species you’ve encountered, friend you’ve made, planet you’ve explored, until it all fades to black and you are empty again.

Only this time, instead of waking up in a simultaneously familiar and unfamiliar house with a mental block on how you had arrived there and no understanding of who you were beyond the corporate life you led amongst billions of your kind, your eyes flutter open to your home. Sitting in a chair beside your bed, he watches over you, your guardian angel. The delirium with which you scan the room around you, acknowledging the crackling fire and the familiarity of your bedroom on the Tardis, makes you feel as though you have slept a thousand years.

“Doctor? What-”

He interrupts you, gently shushing you. “Rest, (Y/N), you need to rest, please. Recovering and reliving your entire life all at once and in under a minute is not a normal process for anyone, you need to let your mind recover.”

Rubbing your eyes tiredly, you nod at him. “How long have I slept for?”

“Three days.” 

With eyes like a deer in headlights, you sit bolt upright in bed, immediately starting to feel dizzy and the Doctor jumping from his chair to steady you, propping your pillows up behind you.

“Three days?!” 

The Doctor nods. “Yes. Had I thought about this recovery process, I probably would have picked a more comfortable chair.”

Your jaw drops. “Tell me you have not been sitting there for three days straight.”

And the ancient god is silent.

You sigh. “Doctor!”

He holds his hands up in mock surrender. “If I told you I hadn’t been sitting here for three days, that would have been a lie, so I thought it best not to say anything!”

Shaking your head in disbelief at him, you shuffle to the side of your bed that is pressed against the wall. “For goodness’ sake, you ridiculous fool.” You pat the empty space beside you on your bed. “Get in here.”

The Doctor’s eyes widen. “Y-You need the space to rest!”

You hold his gaze. “Before getting to the parallel world, how long had it been since you last saw me?”

He avoids your eyes. “I wasn’t keeping count, we were just drifting while she tracked you- it doesn’t matter.”

Frowning, you look up at the ceiling. “Tardis? On the monitor above my bed, can you tell me how much time had passed between my disappearance and the two of you arriving on the parallel world, in Earth days?”

And as always, she is ever so happy to listen to you. The monitor above your bed flickers on, displaying a black screen with a single line of text. 

1096 days, 15 hours, 38 minutes, 4 seconds.

Having never been particularly mathematically gifted, you turn back to the Doctor. “...How many years is that?”

But he doesn’t have it in his hearts to tell you, to admit how long he was alone for, how long he and the Tardis grieved for, how long they drifted in space while she searched for you and he tortured himself with the guilt of losing you, the hopelessness of never being able to find you again. Retrieving his sonic screwdriver from his jacket again, he zaps the monitor above your bed and then returns the tool to his pocket, hanging his head.

Looking back up at the monitor, your eyes fill with tears at the change of text.

3 Years, 1 Day, 15 hours, 38 minutes, 4 seconds.

One hand lifts to cover your trembling bottom lip, while the other reaches for his hand.

“Three years?! Doctor, that’s-”

He cuts you off. “If the Tardis hadn't taken flight when she did, it would have been an eternity, I can assure you.”

The Doctor’s words hit you like a train, so suddenly and stopping your heart with a screech before it starts again, spluttering frantically in your chest at the impact. Sniffling and wiping your eyes, you chuckle, in complete disbelief.

“Well, daft old man, you know what that means, don’t you?”

Unable to resist the urge to lift his head and see your smile again, the Doctor meets your eyes. Without realizing it, he starts to smile back at you, silently asking you to continue.

And you do, giving his hand a squeeze before letting go of it to tap the empty space on the mattress beside you again, with a tearful smile that sets both his hearts ablaze.

“I think you need a cuddle just as much as I do.”

[rumple04]

Such a comfort show 🤍

_____________

[the-lost-girl-in-the-tardis]

I've already got something I have to finish writing out. Well more like two something's but.

What about a fic where the reader is bored on the Tardis. Maybe the Doctor had to do some repairs. Maybe she needed to refuel. And to pass the time reader decides to ask the Doctor how to say some words in Galifreyen.

They start with simple things. Like "Hi." "Hello." "My name is."

And it's such a quiet domestic moment. The reader is stumbling over the words. Something so fluid and pretty to say but hard to wrap their tongue around it.

The reader is trying so hard. They want to be able to speak with the Doctor in their native tongue. So that they can hear their language spoken. So that maybe. Just maybe it won't die with him.

And then they're laughing. Eyes bright as they once again fumble. Giggling to themselves as they try to even their breath and the Doctor just.

"I love you." Spoken in Galifreyen. And of course the reader doesn't understand it. All they can see is the Doctor going all wide eyes. Face flushed as they clear their throat and look away.

"You haven't told me that one. What does that mean?" And when they won't look back the reader places a hand on their shoulder. "Doctor?"

The Doctor doesn't want to admit it. Not yet. Not now. (Oh but they do. Oh how they really do.)

"It's hard to translate into your language but." They clear their throat again. Trailing a hand along the Tardis's railing. "It's a name for a close friend. A saying of sorts." They press their hand to their chest. Over the twin beating hearts. And oh how they are beating. Pounding. Begging them to tell you how they feel.

"Friend of my hearts. One who is close to the hearts." They shrug."Or something close to that." The Doctors breath leaving them when they see you glance away. Brows furrowed as you think. Soft lips moving. Speaking without speaking then.

"I love.. Shit.. I love y..you." A grin so bright it blinded them then. "I love you."

And oh how the Tardis falls away. The Doctor focused on you and only you.

Oh how those words replay. Over and over again.

[undiscovered-horizon]

Eleventh Doctor x insecure/ anxious reader?

🫀REQUESTS ARE OPEN🫀 || Doctor Who-inspired playlist

"Cold feet" - 11th Doctor x Reader

SUMMARY: Funnily enough, after facing death and vicious aliens, it's small talk with strangers that gives you cold feet. Fortunately enough, you found yourself in the company of an expert on running away.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 1.9k

A/N: As an anxious person I cannot be thankful enough for people in my life who casually roll with my anxiety and don't try to "fix" it with cheap advice

"Time Lord to human! Are you listening to me?"

The sudden yelling shook you awake. Only then did you realize you zoned out in the first place, letting Doctor's rushed words brush right by you. You looked at him only to see pure annoyance seeping from his expression. Although you never meant to hurt him, the guilt still gnawed at you.

"Sorry, missed the last bit," you explained yourself as you awkwardly rubbed the back of your neck. "What were you saying?"

Instead of repeating his scientific ramblings which definitely would have been a little too fast and complex for you to understand, he shifted his posture to rest his hands on his hips. You felt as if he had caught you red-handed doing something he had absolutely prohibited you from doing.

"Oi, what's going on with you? It's like you've lost your head."

You absentmindedly shook your head to dismiss his worry. "Yeah, sorry, it's no-"

"Are you in love?"

For a moment you couldn't get any sound to leave your mouth. "What?" It was a bizarre conclusion to jump to. You couldn't tell what on Earth could even get him that idea. "No, it's on-"

"Good for you!" he said as he clapped his hands. "Now, moving on. Focus, eyes on me."

"Look, it's just that I've got a..." you suspended your voice thinking of the right word to use. The Doctor stared at you with wide eyes, clearly awaiting the second part of the sentence. "Thing."

"A thing?" he repeated in confusion. It seemed as if with each of your words he only grew more offended at your misplaced attention.

"Yes, a thing." Out of all the words you could have used, your choice seemed to have fallen on the worst and least exhaustive one. "My friend, Ada, is throwing a party for some of her college friends but apart from me everyone invited is from her course, so she's going to be the only person I know there."

"And that's what you've been thinking about while I was explaining my clever, clever plan?"

The Doctor stared at you with closely knit eyebrows. In some way, he couldn't fathom how a party invitation could be in any way more interesting than him showing off his extraordinary intellect and creativity. Choosing between a college party and aliens should have been a lot easier than it truly was.

"It's not as simple as it sounds, you know?"

"Alright, then tell me." By his hand-flapping and surprisingly undivided attention, you couldn't tell whether he was growing more upset or actually wanted to hear about what was troubling you.

"Honestly, I don't want to go but it's important for Ada. Also, I haven't seen her in ages. On the other hand..." your voice drifted away. Now that you've started this little heart-to-heart, it was pointless to lie to the Doctor - if successful, fooling him wouldn't gain anything anyway. "It's a party full of strangers."

For a moment he stared at you in silence, visibly expecting you to elaborate but truthfully, there wasn't anything more to say. The hypothetical group of strangers, as faceless as they were, was already stressful enough, even without giving them imaginary traits or habits.

"Strangers, right," he said as he clasped his hands. The sound echoed throughout the console room. He looked away for a moment, basking in enlightenment, before looking back at you. "How exactly is that a problem?" he dwelled on the subject. It seemed as if the discomfort of a company of strangers was hardly conceivable.

"You wouldn't get it." You vaguely waved your hand at him in a dismissive manner. Maybe it was unfair towards him but you really couldn't imagine a scenario in which he doesn't throw in a sarcastic comment about your anxiety. "I mean, how could you? Socializing has never been a problem for you."

"How could it be? People, party, cake, dancing. I love dancing! Great times, nothing to be scared of."

"Yes, there is: small talk and thirty people I've never met. And that's only the beginning."

Even the mere mention of that situation made a cold shiver run down your spine. A flutter of anxiety in your chest brought an unpleasant, suffocating sensation. Unconsciously, your face contorted in a grimace.

"You just go up to them and talk, what's hard about that?"

"Everything!" you exclaimed as you made a broad movement with your hands. "It's just... I can't do that. I physically can't make myself go up to a stranger and ask how they're doing, I'd rather hit my head against a wall. I know the theory, the 'walking through a house' metaphor, it's just... I can't force my body to do that. And when I do find myself talking to a stranger, I want it to end immediately. And the silence! Oh God, the silence... Like when you ask them a question, they answer and then the silence. The awkward silence of my anxiety, lack of social skills and being a generally uninteresting person. Just a bit of quiet and everyone knows I'm weird, awkward and-"

"Hey, hey, stop it!" he scolded you in a whiny voice as if you were a child. "Don't say that. You're not awkward or weird, you're brilliant!"

"Thanks, that's nice of you but unfortunately, I am self-aware."

He may have known you for weeks but you've known yourself for decades.

"No, really." He refused to let go. If the Doctor was going to spout cliche pick-me-ups, he appeared exceptionally committed to the meaningless act. "You crossed the universe as it is wide and long. Fought aliens and risked your life because a toddler couldn't sleep at night. Blimey, you told a Sontaran with a bomb bigger than your head to piss off. And it's house party small talk that gives you cold feet?"

Contrary to his presumption, the context didn't give you any comfort or motivation - it only made you feel worse. If you really were as brave as he made it seem, why couldn't you just start a conversation with your friend's guests? By the measure of saving the universe multiple times, you should be more than capable to do so.

"I know it sounds ridiculous and I agree it's stupid but it's not the same. When we're saving worlds it's a mission, a puzzle to solve." You paused for a moment but by your expression, the Doctor could tell there was something else on your mind. "And I've got you," you added.

"Me?" he asked sheepishly. The Doctor vaguely pointed his finger at himself. "What does that have to do with me?"

"You make me a little braver. I mean, you don't look scared even when you are, so it gives me a little push. I feel a little less anxious when I know that you've got my back."

"So what do you do when I'm not there?"

"Bail," you answered with a shrug. Were you really the same person who criticized the fashion choices of an alien with more guns than limbs? "I rarely go but when I do, I just run off around midnight like Cinderella." You made a small pause when you lowered your gaze, avoiding the Doctor's face. "Honestly, it always makes me feel ashamed like I'm making myself miss out on something but it's either that or panicking in the bathroom."

A silence fell between you. The Doctor's typical hand flapping came to a strange halt as he continued to stare at you with an inexplicable expression. He would have agreed on your resemblance to Cinderella, your regent-esque charm and princess-like beauty but there seemed to be a matter more important at hand:

"Has that ever happened?"

His voice was surprisingly quiet, hesitant even as if he didn't want to actually know the answer. Maybe he wasn't sure he was ready for the responsibility the knowledge would bring. The Doctor's words were barely audible over the whirring and wheezing of the TARDIS's engineering.

"Which part?"

"Panicking in the bathroom."

"Yeah," you said quietly. Your gaze fell to the floor. Looking for some kind of comfort, you slowly rubbed your arm. "It was New Year at my friend's, didn't know anyone there except for him. At some point, I just needed to take a break from being around so many people. I sat in the bathroom wearing a silver sequin ballgown and fought back tears. Funny, I probably looked equally pathetic and great. The only thing I could think about was how rubbish I was at just hanging out with people and, you know, being a normal teen at a normal teen party filled with normal teens. I just..." you stopped yourself at the last moment possible. A heavy, defeated sigh left your lips before you continued in a voice barely above a whisper. "I just wish I was a little less anxious."

"You never said anything."

"Why would I? It's not something I'm exactly proud of." You let out a bitter chuckle as you answered him.

Suddenly you found yourself engulfed in a tight hug. The Doctor's arms were tightly wrapped around you, his slow but ragged breath brushing against your neck. Surprised at the unforeseen affection, you hesitantly reciprocated the embrace. The tweed of his jacket was slightly coarse, some strings were coming out of the seams. He always smelled like burnt wires and a second-hand bookshop. At first, that distinct fragrance wasn't exactly pleasant to you but with time it became a beacon of hope, comfort, adventure and a good laugh.

"Oh, you brilliant, clever you," he quietly said in a sad voice.

Then he stepped away from you just as swiftly and surprisingly as he hugged you in the first place. The first thing you noticed was the change in his facial expression: the Doctor was no longer annoyed or concerned but excited as if he had just come up with a perfect solution to some mind-boggling problem.

"Well then, good thing you're not going alone this time."

"I'm... not?"

"Yes! A plus-one. It's still a thing, right? I'm your plus-one."

"That's sweet of you but you really don't have to. I'm fine on my own," you assured him, although he had no reason to believe you after what you'd already told him.

"Change of plans, sweetheart!" he exclaimed as he pulled one of the many levers. The TARDIS was about to take flight and it was a little too late for arguments and second thoughts. "We're going together and when people become a little too much we attend to an emergency," he said while running between different parts of the flight console. As if he was dancing, he made a whole circle around the control switchboard and stood in front of you once again. The Doctor stuck his index finger in your face as if reprimanding you once more. "No panicking in the bathrooms."

"Wait, what emergency?" you asked as he was already taking directions to your hometown.

"You know, this very real emergency that can't wait and we have to take care of it at the very moment. The crisis that I definitely did not invent just now."

"Right..." you drew out your answer as you caught on to his ruse. A smile crept unto your face. "Time travellers, defenders of the universe. You can never know when you're needed. Any suspicions as to what the emergency is?"

"Laskos' fourth moon. There's that small waffle bar that might need an inspection."

[saiilorstars]

Ch. 16: To Let Them Go

Current Masterlist // Previous Story

Fandom: Doctor Who // Pairing: 11th Doctor x OFC

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​​​​ @arrthurpendragon​​​​ ​​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​ @foxesandmagic @kmc1989 @caplanbuckybarnes​​​​

[If you would like to be added to this specific OC’s taglist, let me know!]

"It's really cold. Have you got any warm clothing?" Amy rubbed her arms endlessly to spark some heat within her. They had continued jumping from reality to reality, still having no idea which was one true. The TARDIS was ice cold now without power.

"What does it matter if we're cold?" snapped the Doctor. He was working at the console trying to bring up some power but there was absolutely nothing to work with. He felt Renata's hand touch his arm and with one look from her, he knew he'd rudely snapped at Amy. She hadn't deserved that. "Sorry," he sighed and rubbed his face.

"Amy, why don't you try the little room behind you," Renata suggested and made a nod towards the room down the staircase. "There should be some warm stuff down there."

"Thanks," Amy said quickly and hurried off with Rory.

"Are you guys okay?" Gabby asked the Time Lords when it was just them. "I mean I know that there's this weird thing going on but I...I get the feeling that you guys don't want to…" She didn't finish her sentence but she made a gesture towards the gap of space between Renata and the Doctor.

"Nothing to worry about, Gabbs," the Doctor put on a smile for her. "Go get something warm for yourself."

Gabby felt like maybe if she left, it would give them a chance to talk. Plus, she kind of was a little cold. Thanks to her new DNA, she wasn't as susceptible to extreme temperatures as a regular human but she was still affected a little.

"We need to do something," Renata said to the Doctor as she started for the opposite side of the console. "We can last a little longer in the cold but not them. And, of course, none of us will be able to survive a cold star."

The Doctor watched her cautiously as he went to a specific part of the console which then made Renata reposition herself at another side. "We can make a generator," he spoke quietly.

"Good," Renata nodded. He rummaged through the compartments, taking out several miscellaneous things. Renata stared at him without saying a word. Her eyes were studying every feature of his, trying to find something - a clue - that would tell her whether or not he was real. It shamed her to realize her hearts yearned for him despite not knowing which world was real. If this was a fake world, then the Dream Lord was cruel and she was still a cheater. She had Elek and she was still fantasizing about the Doctor. But if it was the real one...she was actually with the Doctor. She had started a relationship with him. That was riveting.

"Ren?"

Renata blinked. The Doctor was standing across from her but with a small contraption in front of him. He worked fast.

"Renata, I need your help," he said again. He was holding out a loose wire and needed her help to attach it while he worked on the other side of the device.

"Right…" Renata pushed herself to walk to his side, albeit slowly. She swallowed hard once she stood beside him, close enough to touch him.

"I'm sorry," he said when she had taken hold of the wire and he got back to work. "I know it's hard right now."

"Not knowing whether or not you're real?"

He stopped working and looked at her. There was a sad twinkle in her eyes that made him want to throw everything aside and hold her until she felt better. It was awful that she made a point, though. She might not be real right now, she could just be an illusion. Everything around them could be false and he could actually still be on Gallifrey...fighting with Asgari...watching their children grow up…

It made his hearts ache - what's more it made him ache for Renata. He had all these memories of her from both worlds and he wasn't sure which one was real. He loved her in both worlds and he wondered if she still loved him when they weren't sure if they were together.

"I'm real," he said to her.

"Yeah, but are we?" Renata pursed her lips together. "In my other world, I'm living with my husband...and I'm pregnant." The Doctor froze entirely. She placed her hand over her stomach. "I'm pregnant with my child. I'm supposed to be married."

The Doctor moved around the console and in two strides he was in front of her. "And here we're together. You wouldn't want that?"

"Well, I…" Renata felt like her air had left her lungs having him so close to her. "I'm not...it's all so confusing."

"The external environment is," he agreed, "But I'm asking you about the inside. Your feelings. Do you love me?"

Renata bit on her bottom lip the moment the question was asked. There was a raging 'YES!' that screamed within her. It was both scary that it was that strong and yet...eye-opening that her hearts were so sure of her feelings.

"Renée?" The Doctor touched her arms and she instantly felt chills run down her body. At the same time, the Doctor felt sparks under his palms. There was an insane desire to lean closer to her face and...and…

"Can I get some space please?" Renata's whisper pulled him out of his thoughts. He had actually gotten close to her face while he was thinking about how he wanted to get closer. Funny how things worked.

"Sorry," he mumbled and let her go. As soon as he did, Renata hugged herself. She was missing his touch already and that alone was guilty enough. "I'm just confused," the Doctor admitted to her. "That other world feels real but I...I don't want it to be real."

Renata met his look with surprise. "But your daughter is there. Don't you want to be there with her?"

"I love my daughter, but I'm pretty sure that she's gone." And that was another thing that stumped the Doctor. If he thought that the other world was false, shouldn't that break whatever power was holding him to that world?

"Are we any close to figuring this stuff out?" Amy led Rory and Gabby behind her, all bundled up in odd clothes. Their presence pushed the Time Lords into their working stride. They couldn't waste time trying to figure out if they were still in love with each other.

"Ah, Rory, wind," the Doctor handed Amy an attached wire, motioning her to head for the monitor. "Attach this to the monitor, please."

"I was promised amazing worlds. Instead I get duff central heating and a weird, kitchen wind-up device," Rory was eyeing the machine with distaste.

"It's a generator, actually," Renata told him. "Please wind."

"It's not enough," Gabby shivered in her spot, repeatedly rubbing her arms to create some more heat for herself.

"Why is the Dream Lord picking on you?" Rory asked the Time Lords. "Why us?"

Before anyone answered, the monitor flashed to life and showed the group they were near a starscape.

"Where are we?" Amy asked once the Doctor and Renata moved in behind her to see for themselves.

"We're in trouble," the Doctor said with a resignation that of course this would happen.

"What is that?"

"It's a cold star," Renata breathed in at the sight. The Doctor dashed for the doors to see it in person and subjected the entire room to a bright, blinding light. "Doctor, close that!" Renata scolded him.

"Okay, so a cold star means we're in trouble?" Rory waited for a more detailed explanation on how that worked.

"That's why we're freezing. It's not a malfunction," the Doctor returned to the console. "We're drifting towards a cold sun."

"The Dream Lord said there would be danger in some worlds," Gabby remembered, swallowing hard. "This must be one of them."

"This must be the dream," Amy said immediately, a ghost of a smile tracing her lips. "There is no such thing as a cold star. Stars burn."

"And it is," Renata gestured to the monitor. "It's just burning cold."

"Is that even possible?" Rory made a face.

Renata hated to only be able to shrug her shoulders. She looked at the Doctor but even he was puzzled. It wasn't something they'd faced before.

Rory figured out that neither of them knew the answer to his question so, like Amy, he dared to believe that they were finding a solution. "Okay, so if this is something you haven't seen before does that mean this is a dream? One of the other worlds is real?"

"I don't know," the Doctor huffed. "But I'd say we've got about 14 minutes until we crash. But that's not a problem."

"What is then?" Gabby asked, her voice full of dread.

"Because we'll have frozen to death."

Renata covered her face. He really could've put that into better words.

"Stay calm. Don't get sucked into it, because this just might be the battle we have to lose." The Doctor had pulled out a stethoscope to use on the console.

Rory snorted at him. "Oh, this is so you, isn't it?"

The Doctor paused to meet the man's glare. "What?"

"What a weird new star, 14 minutes left to live and only one man to save the day. I just wanted a nice village and a family!"

"Oh dear Doctor," the Dream Lord appeared behind the Doctor. "Dissent in the ranks. There was an old doctor from Gallifrey, who ended up throwing his life away, he let down his friends and—"

"Shut up," snapped Renata through gritted teeth, but all she got was the attention shifted on her.

"And the prim-trim Time Lady who did everything so wrong. Question is, have you repaired everything? Or are you still living in sin?"

Renata pursed her lips together. Sin. "I don't know, honestly..." she confessed. There were times where, as happy as she was, she still wondered if she was truly absolved from all her mistakes in the past. Sins. She was always raised to do the right thing, — the thing expected of her. Make no mistakes, be the best. It was hard being truly happy when that lingered in the back of her head.

While in her thoughts, Renata noticed that the Dream Lord had frozen in his spot, caught in a moment that apparently did not affect anyone else.

"What's—?" Gabby had just started to ask when the Dream Lord came back to life again.

"Best figure it out then," he picked up where he left off with Renata. "Or not."

And the birdsong started again.

~ 0 ~

Renata was having a difficult time deciding whether or not this Gallifrey was real. The way Elek held was so real, how could she ever decide it was fake? Everything was the way it used to be.

You're living in sin, reminded the annoying voice in her head. She bit her lower lip as she watched her husband beside her on the couch, completely immersed into a book. Because she 'hadn't been feeling well, he decided to stay with her for the day. He had one arm wrapped around her waist, letting his hand rest over her stomach. Every now and then, he would press a kiss to her hair and whisper something sweet to her.

It was just all nice and sweet...or so it felt like it. Renata felt her stomach twist and churn each time Elek paid her any attention. She was his wife and yet her mind was thinking about the Doctor and where he was. Her hearts ached for him and that alone made her feel terrible.

Oh God, I love him, she let her eyes close. She was still so completely in love with that man and it pained her to admit it. Her husband was right there for God's sake and she couldn't stop thinking about the Doctor.

Renata glanced at Elek and not a second later did he meet her gaze. He smiled at her and reached to cup the side of her face. "What is it?" He asked her as if he already knew something was bothering her.

The real Elek would do that too. Renata bit her lower lip. "Are you happy with me?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"Do you think you would've been happy if you hadn't married me?" Renata knew what she was trying to get from that question, she was just that sneaky that she was able to cover it up with a similar question. If Elek hadn't been forced into the arranged marriage with her, could he have had a better wife than her?

"Where's this coming from?" Elek lifted an eyebrow at her. "Should we try to rest again?"

Before he started moving, Renata gripped his arm around her to keep him still. "Just...just thinking."

"Well stop thinking those thoughts. I'm happiest with you," he leaned forwards to her, bringing his arm from around her. His book was abandoned on his other side as he cupped Renata's face with both hands. "And our child, of course. I love you."

Renata swallowed hard when he moved to kiss her. Guilt was flooding her. Oh God, I'm terrible, she concluded. Suddenly, Elek froze like a statue. For a moment, Renata thought she had said it out loud...but she hadn't. Whatever froze Elek vanished a moment later and he was able to kiss her.

~ 0 ~

The Doctor stormed down a hallway picking things up and tossing them to the side. He was ignoring half of what Asgari was yelling at him. It had to be about his rude behavior again and how he was mistreating their things, but he was on a mission. He knew, he was absolutely sure that this world wasn't real. He remembered what life with Asgari was; there was no way in hell that he could've ever stayed with her for all of his lives.

This was the fake world but it wasn't disappearing like he thought it would once he made his firm decision. That meant something else had to be done in order to break the illusion, but what? He thought maybe there was something hidden in the house, hence the careless picking and tossing of things.

"Would you please stop throwing my things!?" Asgari shrieked when one vase nearly hit her head.

"Just stop it! Stop it!" The Doctor whirled around abruptly, making her crash into him. "I know you're not real!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Asgari looked at him like he had finally lost it. If she was in on the game, she was acting perfectly.

"This world is not real," the Doctor glowered at her, coming nose-to-nose with her. "Quit playing. How do I get out?"

"What are you talking about?"

The Doctor turned away from her. "It's all done here!" He shouted for the Dream Lord to hear. "I know who you are, I know what you are, and I want to get out of here so we can have a chat!"

"Keep it down!" Asgari grabbed his arm to stop him from walking. "You're going to wake up your dau-"

"Don't finish that," the Doctor snapped, yanking his arm out of her grip. "My daughter is dead and I wish nothing more than to bring her back, but this is not it. A cheap illusion of her is more heartbreak."

"You're acting crazy—"

"I know it's my fault everything went wrong between us, Asgari, but I can't do this," he swallowed hard. He expected Asgari to continue pestering him for an explanation but instead he was met with silence. When he met her eyes, he noticed that she had frozen in her spot. "What is that?" He remembered the brief moment the Dream Lord had done something similar but why? Why had it happen?

~ 0 ~

"This has to be the real world," Rory told Amy as they walked along the solitary street of Leadworth. "It's all nice."

"I feel it in both places," Amy admitted.

"I feel it here. It's just so tranquil and relaxed. Nothing bad could ever happen here."

"Not really me, though, is it? Would I be happy settling down in a place with a pub, two shops and a really bad amateur dramatics society? That's why I got pregnant, so I don't have to see them doing Oklahoma!"

Rory looked at Amy with such a sigh. "You really can't see us living a tranquil life?" He asked in a way that made it clear that if she said 'no' then it would mean she had never thought about living a life with him at all.

With Rory, it was either all in or nothing. Maybe that's why she was more afraid than she led on. It was scary committing to something as big as marriage and everything it implied. Travelling with the Doctor and Renata was easier to do. If she was running for her life, then there were less moments to commit to something huge like marriage. Was it right? Probably not. Was she doing it? Hell yeah.

"Oh," she heard Rory. He had stopped walking, leaving her a few steps ahead. She followed his gaze to a group of elderly people across from them, staring at them like zombies.

Amy had the sense to backtrack her steps until she stood by Rory again. "Why aren't they moving?" She asked him in a whisper. "They're just...staring."

"Hello peasants," the Dream Lord's voice startled the pair. He had flashed in between them and the elderly people. "What's this, attack of the old people? Oh, that's ridiculous. This has got to be the dream, hasn't it? What do you think, Amy? Let's all jump under a bus and wake up in the TARDIS."

Amy felt Rory take her hand, squeezing it tightly like he was reminding her that she wasn't alone. That was also Rory. A part of her wanted to smile had it not been for the situation.

"Oh, trying to comfort the wife?" The Dream Lord sent a specific smirk towards Amy. "But I know where your heart lies, don't I, Amy Pond?"

Amy frowned. "Shut up! Just shut up and leave me alone."

"But listen, you're in there. Loves a redhead, the Doctor! Has he told you that Renata's first incarnation was a redhead? And we all know what happened there." He gave a suggestive wink.

"Shut up," Amy snapped. "I don't...I don't care."

"Right. Evade the guilt, why don't you? Make yourself feel better, justify yourself," the Dream Lord glowered at Amy in a familiar manner. It startled Amy for a moment. "It's what we do, right?"

Amy swallowed hard. She suddenly gripped Rory's hand tighter.

"This is the danger in this world," Rory pulled Amy back when the elderly people started walking towards them.

Both of them nearly gagged when one of the elders opened their mouth to reveal a big ole eye inside.

"Aliens," Amy quickly assumed.

"Trying to kill us," Rory chimed in.

"Run?"

"Oh yeah."

They turned around and did just that, leaving a laughing Dream Lord behind.

~ 0 ~

"Look at them," Donna sighed contently as she and Gabby watched the 10th Doctor and 10th Renata awkwardly try some of the samples the waiters had brought by their table.

Gabby stood beside Donna, both waiting for their drinks at the counter. She was nervously biting her index nail as they watched the entire thing unfold. Everything looked so normal and real.

"I think with one final nudge, they'll finally kiss or something," Donna chuckled. "That would be hilarious but our team's efforts would have finally given fruit."

"Because we're the best team," Gabby finished in a quiet whisper.

"Exactly," Donna agreed with a proud smile.

"We really were," Gabby said. "Are. I don't know."

"You alright?"

Gabby shook her head. "No, far from it actually."

Donna gently turned the girl around. Her competitive expression was gone and in its place was a concerned look. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

"Don't try that with me Gabby," said Donna sternly. "I know you. You can tell me anything, you know."

"I know," Gabby agreed nostalgically. She wished she could still hear Donna say that from time to time. When they were in the TARDIS and she didn't get something or when she was trying to win Renata over, Donna was always there to listen and help her. "You have no idea how much I miss that. Or...or I think I miss it. I don't know if this is real."

"If what's real?" Donna said, confused.

"You," Gabby said. "I miss you Donna. I have memories that...that don't include you anymore because I lost you, we lost you. And I feel awful having new memories without you." Because even now, as confused as she was, she could vividly remember the adventures she had with Renata, the Doctor, Amy and Rory. None of them included Donna anymore.

"Oh, but I'm not going anywhere," Donna waved it off, even chuckling about it. "I'm going to travel with you guys forever."

Tears welled in Gabby's eyes upon hearing the familiar words. "Yeah, y-you said that," she choked the words out before the tears overtook her. The memories in her head were starting to overtake her.

"Oh, oh, don't do that," Donna quickly took her into a hug. "Ren's going to think I made you cry."

Gabby hugged her friend tightly, whether it was real or not she was hugging Donna again. "I really miss you, Donna!"

"But I'm right here," Donna insisted, patting Gabby's back.

"Are you? Because I think I lost you a long time ago. I remember that we traveled to the early days of Earth, we met and fought a God, we met Agatha Christie...we tried our best to help the Doctor and Renata sort their feelings out. We bonded a lot...you helped me find my way in the TARDIS, became my friend...and when the time came to help you, I wasn't able to do it." Gabby pulled away from Donna and instead of meeting her puzzled look, Donna seemed to be understanding every word Gabby was saying. "I should have been able to help you and keep you away from that severed hand. If I had, then you would still have been with us. You would've been there to help us find Ren a cure; you would have been there to help me kick River Song's ass when she flirted with the Doctor; you would have been there to see me unveil my first artwork in front of" — Gabby laughed through her tears — "a whole crowd of aliens in Zhe's gallery. But best of all you would have been there with us every second after our two dumbass time lords regenerated. We would've been together - our little space family."

"But I'm not," Donna said, her expression stoic. "Because you didn't help me."

"I didn't," Gabby nodded to herself. "But it wasn't my fault, and I know that my Donna would have told me that. You have accusation in your eyes, in your voice. You can't be my Donna. Time has passed and my Donna has moved on but I'm still there in the TARDIS...watching you take in that energy...I never left that moment, even if I tried lying to myself about moving on. But my Donna would want me to keep going — for the both of us — and who knows, in this impossible world...we may meet again. For now, I think it's time to say goodbye...somehow. And I think this is as close as I'll ever get."

"Goodbye?" Donna raised an eyebrow at the girl.

Gabby nodded, letting out a shaky breath. "Goodbye Donna. Thank you for being with me when I needed you; for being my first friend in space. I hope you live well as I will try to do the same. You may have forgotten about me but I swear that I won't ever forget you."

And right before Gabby's eyes, Donna started disintegrating...as was everything else around her.

~ 0 ~

The group re-awoke inside the TARDIS, coming to find that the entire interior was now covered with snow and ice. Even their bodies had been frosted.

"Ah, it's colder," Amy clutched her blanket over her.

"Alright, we all need to agree which world is the real one," the Doctor immediately said as he buttoned up his jacket.

"Where's Gabriella?" Renata had noticed that Gabby hadn't appeared with them this time. She jumped from the floor, nearly slipping with the iciness under them. "Gabriella!"

"Don't bother," the Dream Lord appeared by the staircase. "She won," he muttered, clearly upset by the matter.

"Won?" Renata lifted an eyebrow at him. "What does that mean?"

"It means she figured it out. Smart girl that one."

"So where is she?" Rory looked around cautiously.

"Back in the real world," the Doctor said. He was beginning to realize which world was the real one and it just made him angrier. He moved beside Renata, putting a hand over her arm. "It means she's safe."

Renata met his gaze and nodded with him. "But are we?" Her eyes flickered to Amy and Rory who apparently hadn't had much luck unlike Gabby. "We can't let anything happen to them."

"I know." Without thinking, the Doctor wrapped an arm around her waist. He pulled her to his side. Renata didn't even notice when she leaned her head against him. It just came automatically to her.

"Oh so dramatic," the Dream Lord swayed his head. "We're on a clock, people. Nine minutes until impact. Best get the conversation moving and I've been meaning to have a word with Amy."

"Oh, no! Not her!" Rory blocked the way to his finance.

"Yeah, you're not quite threatening," the Dream Lord shook his head at him. "Not like the tall, dark hero over there, huh?" He made a nod towards the Doctor but this time the latter was too focused on keeping Renata warm that he didn't even hear.

Renata smiled softly when he put his coat over hers. It was freezing and he was just making it worse for him, but he didn't seem to care. His eyes were locked on hers and for a moment Renata forgot they were in mortal danger. It was just him and her, like they often wished it could be.

I love you, she thought again. She absolutely did. Guilt or not…

"Guilt or not…" she whispered, her eyes widening when it struck her.

"Ren…?" The Doctor barely got her name out when she shook his arm.

"Guilt! That's what this is about! We're guilty! We're all guilty!"

"Oh no, you're going to ruin the game," scowled the Dream Lord. "Time to go, sinful girl!"

Renata soon heard the birdsong in her ears. "Doctor, Doctor...it's…" Her body slumped forwards but the Doctor managed to catch her.

"I'm here, I'm here!" He fully supported her but he couldn't stop the birdsong from affecting her. He could only listen to her last words.

"You're guilty...we've always been guilty...Asgari...Elek…" Renata's eyes fell shut as she once again jumped worlds.

"What was she talking about?" Amy soon demanded when the Doctor carefully laid Renata's body on the floor. "Guilt?"

"Time to go for you two as well!" The Dream pointed at the Doctor and Rory. "Can't have you ruining it!"

"Wait, no, no!" Rory clapped his hands over his ears when the bird song started.

The Doctor knew it was futile to fight against it. He glared at the Dream Lord as his body was forced down from weariness. "You're going down," he promised. He would lay next to Renata until the 'game' was over.

"Rory, Doctor, don't leave me," Amy was at a loss when it was just her and the Dream Lord.

The man was smirking away. "Amy, we're going to have fun aren't we? Poor Amy. He always leaves you, doesn't he? Alone in the dark. Never apologizes."

Amy followed his gaze towards the Doctor. "He doesn't have to."

"That's good, because he never will. And now he's left you with me. Spooky old, not-to-be-trusted me." Amy glared even when he disappeared to reappear on a chair wearing a lounging robe. This was all just a game to him. "Anything could happen."

"Who are you and what do you want?" She was tired of hearing that question without a proper answer.

"I'm your conscience," the Dream Lord made a sarcastic wave of his hands. Once more he disappeared and reappeared in front of her, wearing his normal clothes again. "I know everything that goes on in that head - in all of your heads. And you're one of the worst."

"I am not," Amy tried to argue but it came out as a weak defense.

"Now, which one of these men would you really choose? Look at them. You ran away with a handsome hero. Would you really give him up for a bumbling country doctor who thinks the only thing he needs to be interesting is a ponytail?"

"Stop it!" Amy demanded. No one would insult Rory like that.

"Oh, defend him as if you've been doing that this whole time - oh wait," the Dream Lord clapped his hands together. "You haven't. What have you been doing exactly? That's right, you keep fantasizing about a man that's not even yours. You wished the woman he actually looks at wasn't even around. And the human? You wish she wasn't around either."

Amy looked down with guilt. Maybe she had thought about that a few times. Her face scrunched. God, she was horrible. Renata had been nothing but kind to her from the start. As a child, she became like a pseudo mother taking care of her because she was scared. As a grown-up, she continued with the same streak. Even when she didn't deserve it, Renata was still kind to her and looked out for her. Gabby even welcomed her in the beginning, taking her under her wing on their first trip together.

"Got choices to make, don't you?" The Dream Lord's voice had become about a thousand times more annoying suddenly.

"Shut up!" Amy growled. "Just shut up! I know I'm terrible! I'm a very terrible person! I don't need you making me see it because I know it!" She waited for the Dream Lord to mock her or at the very least insult her but he did nothing. Actually, he was kind of frozen. "What?" Amy rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't seeing things, more than what she already was anyways. The man was completely frozen in his spot, like a true statue. "What's going on—?"

The Dream Lord blinked and suddenly he was moving again. "Time to sleep again."

"Wait, what-" Amy heard the bird song start. "No, no," she wagged a finger at him, trying her best not to collapse on the floor out of 'exhaustion' like the Doctor and Rory had. "You froze - I did something, didn't I? I did! I…"

"Sleepy time," she heard the Dream Lord say before her eyes fell shut.

~ 0 ~

Renata had jumped off the couch the moment she was 'awake'. Elek was dumbfounded but she wouldn't stop over that. "This is my own type of hell," she sighed, gazing at him sadly.

"What are you talking about?" Elek got up from the couch and the moment he did, Renata backtracked several steps away.

Renata swallowed hard as her hands came to rest over her stomach. "I've been thrown back into the worst parts of my life. I'm pregnant with a child that will never take their first breath. I'm married to a man that I love but never the way he deserves. I'm stuck in a life of lies, creating more and more lies until I'm just drowning forever."

"Renata, what are you talking about?" Elek took a few quick strides to stand in front of her.

"You and I," she looked him in his perfectly clear eyes, the same eyes that used to offer her endless love. "I failed you, Elek. I failed you from the start and I never had the courage to fix it. I made you believe that I was the perfect wife when I was far from it. You did not deserve that. And I know that I can never fix what happened but I have to move on. I have to let this guilt go, otherwise I'm going to drown and then...what would be the point in me surviving all the horrible stuff that happened? I loved you Elek, I only wished that I could've loved you like you deserved. But to do that, my past would've had to have been erased."

"Now I'm living a new life, with the man I have always loved...and I'm happy with him. I'm sorry that it couldn't be you. I tried so hard to make it work but I failed. Two hearts..." she smiled to herself, "...and the Doctor claimed both. I have to choose to believe that you're somewhere better now, in peace...with our child somewhere. But I'm still here, and I have a lot of lives to live, so...I'm going to try and do that now. For real this time. I'm going to let you go, Elek. I have to. And I hope that wherever you are now that you can forgive me for my mistakes."

She couldn't keep bottling up the guilt that stirred inside her. That's what the Dream Lord wanted from her, what he wanted from them all. The guilt that sat in her hearts was a terrible disease that would never allow her to be truly happy. If the Dream Lord had his way, she would continue living in this fake world until the guilt killed her. When the world went dark around her, she took with her the face of her husband disintegrating and finally reaching well deserved peace.

~0~

Guilt. Renata had said something about that, hadn't she? The Doctor couldn't stop thinking about it. There was something he was missing and it was staring him in the face! It would be easier to concentrate if Asgari wasn't shouting at him from behind.

"You're terrible! You've always been terrible!" She was busy shouting, unknowingly laying the groundwork for the Doctor's realization.

"I know…"

"You're a terrible husband and a terrible father! You were never here!"

"I know!" He spun around to face her angry face. He blinked. Oh. "I'm...I was terrible," he whispered.

"Yes you are!" Asgari hissed. "You're here but you're never here! You're not here with us!"

"Yeah," he slowly came to agree with her. His eyes met hers. She was angry but there was also a glimmer he couldn't ignore. "I was a terrible husband to you, and not much of a better father to our children. You didn't deserve that. Oh Asgari…" He reached to touch her face, feeling her flinch right as he did it. "You had all the opportunities in the world, and I took them away from you. I married you and under the pretense that maybe we could construct something close to a real marriage but I never followed through. I couldn't. I was in love with someone else. There was never any hope for us. That was on me, it was always on me. I'm sorry." As he expected, Asgari froze in her spot, not even blinking.

It was the truth he always held close to his heart. He said he loved his children despite practically hating their mother, but that was only half true. He never hated Asgari. He hated the arguments they had because she was always right. She always had a right to be angry with him. She was the pillar of the family because he was there but never actually there. He forced her to step up and be the best parent she could be because he was always thinking of someone else, of being somewhere else. And that was horrific of him.

"You deserved so much better than me, Asgari," he nodded. "You and our children. I'm so sorry I failed you all."

As the Doctor withdrew his hand from her cheek, she began disintegrating as did the rest of the world around him.

~0~

Rory was cradling Amy's head in his lap when she finally woke up. They were in the nursery of their cottage. Amy couldn't remember how she'd gotten there but Rory told her he had brought her in on his own.

Amy took him into a hug as he tried to warn her about some possible bruises on her body. "I don't care," she shushed him. She was such a terrible person and he continued being so good to her. "Thank you," she pulled away from him, cupping his face, "You've always been the best to me and I was never appreciative of it."

"What—" Rory started when something crashed through the windows.

Amy yelped upon seeing a statue land on the floor. "What the hell was that!?"

"The elderly people! The aliens!" Rory scrambled up from the floor, motioning Amy to stay down. "They've been chasing us down, remember? Our versions of the Doctor, Renata and Gabby are a no-show!"

"Rory, stay back, please!" Amy reached for him but he was too far gone. "I need you here with me." Never had she spoken true words. "Rory, I need you."

Rory had come up to the window just as one of the elders appeared on the other side. They were trying to climb up. She shot green mist at him and it actually hurt. He stumbled backwards with a hand over his chest.

"Rory!" Amy shrieked when he fell down. she hurried to him.

"No! I'm not ready," Rory wheezed in pain.

Amy was in tears. She had wasted her chance hadn't she? She held him close to her. "Stay, please."

"Look after our baby," he said, dissolving a second later.

Amy watched the dust fall through her fingers. "No. No. Come back!"

But he was gone. Suddenly, she got flashes of the first night she ran away in the TARDIS and willingly decided to leave him behind. How could she do something like that? Rory loved her and she paid him in such a terrible way. She was afraid of committing to the whole life thing but she had never stopped to think about what life would be without Rory.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her hand coming to rest over the pile of dust in front of her. "What did I do? What did I do!?"

A whole life without Rory wasn't appealing in the least. The whole universe could be at her feet and it would change a damn thing. Rory wouldn't be there seeing it all with her. How could she ever think that she could be without him?

"I love you, I do love you," she mumbled to herself, "it just took me forever to love you like you deserve. I'm so sorry, Rory!" Tears blurred her vision as she began to cry.

Behind her, the elderly woman had climbed in and was about to touch her when she came to a stop, frozen. Amy looked up from the dust to see the walls dissolving away. She didn't quite understand what was going on but she felt that she had done whatever it was that she was supposed to do to get herself out of there, and maybe...just maybe, she might get a second chance.

~0~

The TARDIS was back to its warm orange glow. Since Gabby was the first one to wake up in the true world, she had everyone encased in a tight hug as soon as they woke up. She was ecstatic to find them all okay and that they had realized what they had to do to get out of the crazy illusions they were thrown into.

"I don't get it, what happened?" Rory felt like he was the one who understood the least. Everything had gone dark suddenly for him.

"That happened," Renata was eyeing something in the Doctor's palm, quite disgruntled with it. Everyone crowded around them to see six glittering bits in his hand.

"What is that?" Amy frowned at it.

"A speck of psychic pollen from the candle meadows of Karass don Slava," said the Doctor. "Must have been hanging around for ages. Fell in the time rotor, heated up and induced a dream state for all of us."

"It's a parasite that feeds on the guilt of people, the darkness inside of us all," Renata explained in much simpler terms. "Usually wouldn't go for humans. Seeing as each of us had our own guilt hidden away, you have a lot to sustain itself on."

"Not me," Rory said with a light shrug. "At least...I don't think so? Truthfully, I think this whole thing just made me see that a small town isn't really what I want right now...maybe the travelling thing isn't that bad."

"You are one of a kind, Rory Williams," Renata smiled at him. "We're lucky to have you with us." Her words seemed to do a lot for Rory as he smiled contently.

"So what about the Dream Lord?" asked Gabby. "Did we dream him up to? Or was he like the toy you get with the happy meal? Just comes with it?"

"The Dream Lord was an amalgamation of all of us. It just took the appearance of the oldest one in the room," the Doctor smiled sourly. "I'm 907."

"757," Renata shrugged. "But once you faced your guilt, once you admit it out in the open, the illusions had to go away."

"It knew about us specifically though," Gabby said, biting her lower lip. "It was able to construct such a real world for me. It had Donna, just the way she used to be. It definitely brought back my guilt."

"Guilt for what, Gabriella?" Renata had been disheartened to realize that Gabby felt such a load of guilt over something that she had been sucked into the illusions as well. What could've been that strong to make her feel that way?

Gabby smiled sadly. "I always felt that if I had just been a tiny bit faster then maybe Donna wouldn't have gone through that metacrisis and she would still be here."

"But that's not on you. It was an accident."

"I know, but we were such a happy little space family. I felt like I ruined it because I couldn't save her. But…" Gabby met Amy's and Rory's gazes, "...we're not alone. I think we've made some very good friends."

"Well, you could've had one better friend," Amy sighed. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry for everything." She curled her hand around Rory's, tears fresh in her eyes. Lucky for her that he was always the forgiving kind. He kissed their interlocked hands, silently assuring that everything would be fine from now on. "And Renata…"

"It's alright," the Time Lady said, offering her a warm smile. "I think I may know a thing or two about picking between men. At least you made the right choice. Back in my day... I could have made a better one." She looked up to the Doctor, trying to start an apology right there.

I'm sorry, she told him. I should've been braver to say something.

The Doctor leaned down to kiss her temple. We're going to be okay. That was a promise.

~0~

Later on would find the two Time Lords sitting together in their makeshift room of Gallifrey. They had taken a seat on the mushy grass overlooking the citadel. There had been no words exchanged for a good while and for once the Doctor hadn't been anxious to break it. He hadn't shifted at all like he was itching to do something. Renata took a silent notice of it and truly appreciated it. There was just a mutual desire for a peaceful quietness after such a day.

Their companions had naturally recused themselves for some well deserved rest a while back. Even Gabby, who was sleeping less than a regular human would, had opted for a nap. They craved some time alone, some time to think about what happened. And for Renata and the Doctor, that 'time alone' was really some time together...alone.

"Do you think they found peace?" Renata suddenly asked him, breaking the silence between them. He side-glanced her with a questioning glint in his eyes. She met his gaze and elaborated while her eyes slowly lowered to the grass. "Elek and Asgari. Do you think that they found peace wherever they are now? We did them so much harm that I can't imagine the world would be so cruel to them by not letting them rest in peace."

"They were good people," the Doctor said, not an ounce of him doubted that. "We just didn't know how to treat them well."

"Is it wrong for me to feel like it's not entirely our fault?" Even as the words left Renata's lips, she felt a deep disgust with herself for daring to think that was true. "It's terrible, I know, but I just can't help but feel that if the laws had been different...if the rules had been different, maybe we could have been braver and just been together. That way Elek and Asgari would've been free to find people who loved them the way they deserved. Or am I just that terribly arrogant?"

"You? Arrogant? Never," the Doctor snorted at the absurdity he was hearing. "I completely understand what you mean and I think you're right. Everything was against us, Renée. We didn't make the best of choices but we didn't have a lot of choices to begin with. But you're not a bad person. You're far from that." He scooted himself closer to her side, wrapping an arm around her waist and cautiously waiting for her to say something about it.

She didn't.

She leaned her body against his. She needed that warmth from him right now. "I want to be happy," she declared. "I want to do the whole thing. Being together and making it clear to everyone around us that...we are for each other."

"You just described my perfect world," the Doctor said, and relished in her lighthearted giggle. He kissed the top of her head and rested his cheek over it. "Forever."

[yeehawbrothers]

Inverted PB&J-11th Doctor x Fem! reader

I'm alive guys.

This was a request from a lovely fellow 11th lover, I wrote it platonically, but if you ignore a few words it could be romantic. I also wrote the reader as American, just because I am. (I also zoned out while writing this and do not remember most of it)

“Do you think it could be considered a federal crime to eat inverted peanut butter and jelly?” She asked, hands covered in grease, sparks flying almost catching her hair on fire, and her best friend beside her, in the same state. “Inverted?” He looked up from the wires in his hands, his grease and dirt covered face, also covered in confusion. “Yeah like,” an explosion of sparks behind her interrupted her statement, before she spun around and used her sonic to tame it momentarily. “If you put the peanut butter and jelly on the bread normally, right? And then instead of putting them like, face to face, you turned them outward.” She stared at him as he seemed to process her words. “Oh, yeah. That’s absolutely a crime” he nodded, as they both went back to what they were doing. 

Behind them, Amy and Rory stared at them in question, before turning to each other with faces of pure bewilderment. 

Amy slowly stood and walked towards the two timelords, crouched under the ball of wires. “Inverted peanut butter and jelly? Where on earth did that come from?” A shot of sparks erupted in the timelords face as she stopped her work momentarily, the metaphorical cogs in her mind visibly turning. “Boston, I think. In like, 1901.” She said, with a small smile. “What?” She tilted her head slightly, “You asked where peanut butter and jelly came from, Boston. In the early 1900s.” She paused, “But if you’re asking about inverted peanut butter and jelly, I don’t know that. I’ll find to find out though.” She turned back to her work, as Amy shook her head and walked back to where Rory was sitting watching the scene unfold. 

“What was that about?” Rory said as he watched his wife flop down on the makeshift bench beside him. “Who knows.” They turned back to watch the two timelords who were now bickering over the wire placement, before all went silent as the lights flickered and a pounding was heard on the metal doors. The two timelords looked towards the door, before turning to each other and immediately standing up. The Doctor began quickly scanning the room as his right-hand woman ran to where Amy and Rory sat. “Hey so, we should probably start running.” As if on que, the metal doors flew off the hinges into the room. “Right, let’s go.” The Doctor ran over, grabbing her hand as they began to run down the hall to the Tardis.

 They stopped, allowing their two companions to run ahead into the welcoming blue doors of the tardis. The Doctor lightly pushed her ahead of him into the box, running in last and slamming the doors behind him. The two ran up to the main console and began flicking switches and pulling levers causing the Tardis to take off with a violent shake, before stilling. “wow that was-“ Amy began, before getting cut off by a certain timelord.

 “Why would you use the purple wire for the highest current?” The Doctor froze, looking over at his companion. “Well I-“ The Doctor began stuttering over his words. “No, seriously. It only had the capacity for 5 voltage, and it was running at 25. No wonder the doors were faulty.” She stood, hands on her hips staring him down. “Well if YOU,” he pointed at her, shaking his finger, “Hadn’t gone off about inverted peanut butter and jelly-“ She gasped, “Do NOT blame me Mr.! That was an incredibly valid question. Right?” She turned to the two humans watching the scene unfold. “Well-“ Rory started. “Don’t get them involved!” The Doctor said, “You know what, it doesn’t even matter. Because everyone knows peanut butter and butter is better anyways.” She stomped her foot in detest, “You take that back!” He shook his head, crossing his arms as he looked down at her. “You’re the British one, eating beans on toast or whatever it is, so you have absolutely no credibility on what’s good.” He gasped lightly, “EXCUSE ME? The British one???” She nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. “Yeah, I got lucky and am a proud American.” She stood in a fake salute. 

“Listen,” Her hand coming to rest by her side, “All I’m saying is one fried Oreo will change your life.” His tongue stuck out in disgust as he considered the notion. “You American’s and your fried stuff. It’s so unhealthy for you.” She scoffed, “At least we don’t eat like we have no access to real food.” They stood like that for a moment, in a standoff of sorts, the Doctors face one of disgust, and hers smug as could be. Before bursting out in laughter and pulling each other into a tight hug. 

When they broke apart, she wacked him upside the head, hearing Amy snicker and watching the Doctor rub his head. “Don’t ever do that again though, I’m doing the wiring next time.” She pointed, hand on her hip. The doctor stood quickly, taking his turn at coming to a false salute. She shoved him jokingly, before turning back towards the console. “SO. Where to now?” The doctor thought for a moment before running around the console causing the TARDIS to shake and launch into takeoff. All the passengers grabbed a hold of the metal bars circling the console. “I know this amazing place in the Amedromia galaxy! Its- WHOA WHOA WHOA” He was interrupted quickly. “You know I’m banned.” 

Silence fell among the Tardis, “Your-your banned?” The doctor tilted his head slightly. “Yeahhhhh…. So, I accidently stole this like super important religious piece from one of their temples cause I thought it was a free sample.” The doctors face dropped into one of annoyance, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” She became defensive quickly, “Listen- at least I’M not the one who stole that guy’s eye cause he thought it was a Halloween costume.” “HEY, YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TALK ABOUT THAT AGAIN-“ As they both launched into yet another bickering session, Amy and Rory sighed and shook their heads. “Here we go again.”

Thanks for reading, and thanks to @dinofromspac3 for the request. <3

All the love-A.

-i do not give permission for my work to be copied, translated, or posted anywhere but here on this post.

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Unplanned Surprise (Doctor Who Drabble)

Eleventh Doctor x GN!Reader / requests are open

Summary: You have an unplanned surprise to tell the Doctor about.

CW: reader is GN but is pregnant, so the afab body is specified

DW: @nyxiethesimp @quickslvxrr @midnight--raine @blueberry-sunshines @stevekempscocktails @go-bonkers-go-foolish @peytonpenguin37 @yeethaw13 @complimentary-breadbasket (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

“I’m pregnant,” you said, taking the bullet head-on and finally confessing to the Doctor the thing that had been plaguing you for quite some time. Well, only a few weeks- but it felt like a very long time. 

You weren’t really sure what to expect from him, given that he was reasonably prone to unpredictability. Would he scream for joy? Would he cry? Would he send you away and never want to see you again? For once, the endless possibilities did not fill you with intrigue or confidence. 

“Pregnant?” The Doctor repeated dumbly, wriggling his fingers thoughtfully. “How did that happen?” 

His tone wasn’t upset, angry or joyous. It was just casual. He was being casual about this. Maybe it hadn’t quite sunk in yet? You blinked at him as the question actually registered. 

“H-how did that happen? Doctor, you know exactly how that happened,” you blustered, mouth agape. 

“Well, yes, conceptually, I know how you humans pro-create and conceive,” he broke off for a second, trying to think of the word. “Babies. But you and me?” The Doctor gestured between the both of you a little too aggressively. “Not the same species, remember? My ejaculate should not be able to impregnate you.” 

You were lost for words, blinking confusedly. You supposed that made sense, but then again, the three tests you’d done had all said you were pregnant, so it looked like there was a first time for everything. 

“Should have tested that theory a little better before engaging in your breeding kink then, hey,” you replied, picking at your nails. The Doctor practically choked on his tongue, pressing a hand to his chest in mock offence. 

“Excuse you, Petal,” he argued, “but I am quite certain that you enjoy being bred full of my cum- do you not?” 

You split into a cocky grin, knowing he was absolutely right. 

“That may be so, but the point remains that I am pregnant, and it’s definitely yours, Doctor.” 

The Doctor opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. You could practically see the gears turning in his head as he processed that information. Then, he closed his mouth and split into the widest, most pleased grin you had ever seen from him. 

“You’re pregnant,” he all but shouted, hands outstretched in shock. He ran one hand through his hair. ‘You’re pregnant!” He shouted again, this time ending with a disbelieving giggle. 

“I am,” you confirmed, the Doctor’s grin infectious. 

You both let out a nervous laugh and then the Doctor had you scooped up into his arms and twirled you around. You laughed louder, holding onto him as he lifted you up and back down again. 

The Doctor slowed before wrapping you up in a tight hug as if to hold you close and never let you go. You breathed out, feeling content. 

Life was looking good. You were going to be parents. To a baby- a hybrid half-human-half-Time Lord baby but still!

“Parents,” the Doctor whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead and echoing your thoughts. “Almost unbelievable, isn’t it?”

You hummed, listening to both of his hearts beat in his chest. They were beating fast, telling you exactly how ecstatic the Doctor was about this news. 

“Completely insane,” you agreed with a soft nod. “I can’t wait.”

[shuichiakainx]

❤️‍🔥

[nanamis-princess]

hiya! i never see people write any chubby reader fanfiction for doctor who ;0; which is so sad bc it’s my comfort show.

would you be able to write an 11th doctor x chubby reader fic where he comforts reader struggling with their body image, maybe after going on an adventure like a ball or a party where there were a bunch of pretty women in pretty dresses, making her feel unsure if she was right for the doctor? ahh idk…anything hurt/comfort with 11 reassuring reader would be nice.

I will always choose you

Synopsis: the doctor & reader are invited to a ball! It doesn’t go as planned.

Genre: hurt/comfort

T/w: chubby reader has issues with comparing, mean girls:/, the doctor and reader are in establish relationship & an L bomb at the end.

11th doctor X chubby fem reader A/N: thank you so much for requesting! This is my first doctor who work! I hope this is to your liking💗 also for some reason it wouldn’t let me link the song:( sorry! But it’s on YouTube & Spotify!

After a very eventful day of practically saving the planet once more with the doctor you were both invited to an evening of dancing accompanied with classical music by Miss Montague and her boss. She even offered to helped you pick out a beautiful Victorian dress. With her help you both found one perfectly fitting for you with your color of choice and measurements. The color of the dress highlighted your skin and the corset hugged your body just right, you looked breathtaking. “Oh I think I have something that would compliment your dress” she suggests cheerfully as she opens a drawer to her vanity pulling out a small dark blue box. She opens it up showing you dangling sliver earrings covered with small diamonds and a small pearl at the ends of them, she helps you put them on. Taking a step back she looked at you through the mirror “you look wonderful!” She expresses with a genuine smile.

Arriving with Miss Montague you both stand watching in awe from the sidelines while people dance beautifully, It’s not everyday you get to attend a Victorian ball along with being submerged in the early culture. “I’ll be right back, there is someone I’d like to say hello to” miss Montague says before leaving your side momentarily. Admiring the architecture of the ballroom and how beautiful the décor is you find yourself people watching again.

The song just coming to an end when you take note of how petite all the other women are, the thoughts of comparing yourself to them sneak up on you. Taking a deep breath your hands fall on the fluffy textures of your dress as you try desperately to just think of something else. The familiar cheery tone you love so much rings through your ears, you turn to face him. “there you are! I was wondering where you’d went off to” the doctor says with a smile on his face.His eyes have a twinkle in them as he takes a moment to cherish the sight of you. “You look delightful!” The doctor exclaims accompanying another smile. To an outsider looking in anyone could tell his attraction towards you, sometimes everyone but you.

The music starting back up, the composers being to Gramophone Waltz by Eugen Doga “May I have this dance?” The doctor asks holding out his hand for you to take. You laugh lightly following a nod “you may, doctor” you say taking his hand. He guides you both to the dance floor, his right hand makes his way to the side of your back while his left hand interwinds your fingers. “Just follow my lead, you’ll catch on fast” he says gliding you both as the song opens.

Being with you makes time feel so enjoyable for him, like he can breath for a moment before jumping to the next problem. Being with you in the moment is something he’s longed for a very long time. Gliding you both forward and backward he smiles, making note that the song is going to pick up.

“I think you look marvelous tonight y/n, so beautiful and so breathtaking.” He says looking into your eyes. A bright smile across the doctors face as you don’t have time to answer while he spins you both around to the music falling in sync with the others around you, your dress flowing beautifully at your feet. Slowing you both down as the song is coming to an end seeing your genuine smile makes him feel as if both his hearts skip beats. Making him laugh slightly with a smile on his face, yet again he glides you both off the dance floor and near the refreshments. “I just thought of something I’d like to give you, stay here.” He runs his hands through his hair for a moment before disappearing into the crowd. “Alright” you laugh at his suddenness yet still trying to process what he said on the dance floor.

Deciding it was time for a drink you picked one up for yourself overhearing laughter. Looking over your shoulder slightly you see three women looking in your direction, you turn back to your drink picking it up. “I don’t see how a man like himself is attracted to someone like that” a blonde women with a blue dress says. “I could show him a much better time than she could” you heard another one of them snicker following another laugh.

Trying your best to ignore them you took a sip of your drink a remaining comment you couldn’t hear was followed by whispers and laughter. You couldn’t take it anymore, you set your glass down and made your way to the exit. Tears slowly creeping up on you as you walked through the halls back to the familiar alleyway. Looking at the TARDIS somewhat relieved you opened the blue box as you cry softly, pushing your dress inside with you. you hear rummaging around the hall of the TARDIS. “Darling is that you? I’ll be right there just looking for..” a slight crash is heard from a room who knows where. “Something” he shouts from the room he’s in.

You take a seat with tears still in your eyes but a slight chuckle slips from you at his clumsiness. Stumbling back out into the main part of the TARDIS with a tiny black box and a fez in hand the doctor looks at you. His hearts ached when he seen the tears in your eyes, he dropped his fez and slipping the black box into his coat pocket made his way to you. Standing over you, he crouches down “What’s wrong?” He says with genuine concern in his voice. He cups your cheeks as he wipes away the tears flowing down your face, you aren’t even able to get a word out but once you calm down a little you speak. “There was” you say weakly for a moment before pausing, fidgeting with your fingers as you try to get it out. The doctor still cupping your ace gently, he waits for you to speak again. You collect yourself and try again, “there was a group of women commenting about me after you left, they laughed at me and said you’d be better with someone else.” you manage to get out weakly. “Sometimes I think that myself, that you could be with someone better” you trail off with slight tears in your eyes again.

A mixture of sadness and slight anger washed over the doctor as he watched you explain, his eyes scan over your face. “I apologize that they treated you in such a distasteful way, you don’t deserve that” he makes eye contact with you. “I truly mean this when I say you are absolutely gorgeous and breathtaking. Everything about you is beautiful, your whole being. I don’t wish to be with anyone else but you, I think you are perfect just as you are and I mean that with my whole being.” He expresses while still cupping your cheeks and making eye contact with you. His hands find yours in your lap and he holds them “I’ve traveled throughout this universe, met thousands of beings and I would still choose you. A million times I’d choose to be with you and have your right by my side.” He expresses genuinely, releasing your hands he stands ups leaving you without words for a moment. You stand up looking into his eyes as he looks in yours, you give him a hug is all you have in you. He wraps his arms around you as you rest your head on him, being able to hear his two hearts you smile to yourself. He places a kiss on your temple “I love you doctor” you say softly. “I love you too, very much” he responds. You both remain like this for a moment before the doctor pulls away slightly, “this is what I wanted to give you” he says, pulling out the small black box. He hands it to you and watch’s your features when you open the box.

Looking at the necklace in the small box you smile, then smile at him. It’s a silver necklace with a smallish pendant, a beautiful oval shape ingrained with other detailing. “Thank you doctor, this is so thoughtful” you express pulling it out of the box, he motions that he’ll help you put it on. With a smile you turn around and move your hair as he puts it on you. “There all done” he says as you face him again and leans in to kiss your cheek.

“Come come, dance with me” he takes your hand and pulls you into him once more, you laugh a little at his eagerness. The doctors places a on your hip and interwinds your fingers again, swaying you both back and forth around the main circle of the TARDIS. The doctor slowing you both down after a moment of dancing his face a little closer to yours. “I will always choose you” he states looking into your eyes before softly kissing you.

[marsi-is-depressed]

Please, darling.

Eleventh doctor x fem!reader  18+

Tw/Cw: First time face-sitting for reader, anxiety, oral sex, cunnilingus, praise.

"You’ve got to be kidding me."

"Is this the face of someone twisting your bloody chain?"

Doctor looked about as smug as he ever did and when he wasn’t shouting with rage over aliens and Daleks attacking, a mischievous smirk tended to be his default expression. His softer moments, weren't so secret as but were expected to remain serious, existed behind the closed doors of the TARDIS.

He wasn't accustomed to being kind. Things like falling in love were absent from his existence, which was what it was and what he had been compelled to become. The more you'd been with him, the more he'd warmed up to gentler times, but as a patient teacher, you'd been helping him better comprehend that aspect of himself. 

💫💫💫💫💫💫

“That’s the face of somebody asking me to do something I’m not so sure I can do.”

“Yes, you can. It will be simple. All you need to do is move that lovely body a bit so you can sit comfortably on my face.”

"Doctor, you won't be able to breathe."

His fingers drummed on his warm, hairless chest, and a little sigh of exasperation from his lips. He urged you to move up closer by rubbing his hands over your thighs out of impatience. His eyes were slightly tinged with mischief as he peered at you.

"Remember that I'm immortal, dear, and you won't hurt me in any way. If your gorgeous face had the power to kill, I would have died long before now.”

"Not the most comforting words."

"Look, everything will work out. Would you kindly stop worrying, come up here, and sit on my face now, sweetie?

You dragged your moist core past the white splatter of his own sperm that covered the smoothness of his stomach and away from the front of his exhausted cock as you crept a little higher.

“Please, darling. Come give me a nice little taste.”

"Trying this has the benefit of keeping you quiet for five minutes."

"If you last that long at all."

On either side of his head, you extend your legs wide, keeping your knees apart, being careful not to grab his brown hair. Weary of your hesitancy, the doctor grabbed your ass meat and pulled you down more quickly. It was nothing unusual to you, getting eaten out, but you weren't used to face-sitting, and you were shocked at how much the doctor seemed eager to do it. With as often as he got his mouth on you when he made time for sex, it ought to have been no shock how much he desired this.

“Sweetheart, you're awfully wet for somebody acting so shy about this,” he teased, tongue darting out for one slow lave that dipped into you and drew up, all along towards your clit. 

"I'm not nervous. I simply don't want to put you in harm.

He hummed against your mound in a way that showed how doubtful he was of your explanation and how indifferent he was to any more justifications. If there was one thing you knew the doctor desired, it was moans rather than contemptuous remarks, another probing lick that gathered up your essence. There was no doubt that it felt wonderful; a few tongue-to-clit passes caused you to relax closer to his lips with less hesitancy, enjoying the comforting sensation. Doctor looped his arms to wrap around your thighs as another moan, this one contented, rumbled softly against your core.

When you peered down, you could see his eyes closed in pleasure and focus, his mouth making wet noises between your thighs, and the deep pink of his tongue repeatedly dipping over your bud. As you watched him for a little while, your head craning back when he gave your clit a strong suck, it was quite the sight, one that made you bite your lip.

"Fuck, Doctor.."

He quickly developed an unrestrained appetite. He did it anytime he desired you. Instead of eating you out, the doctor feasted on you, slurping and moaning at your delicate folds like a guy enjoying his first taste of a fine dessert. In order to get a better taste of your distinct flavour, he pushed his tongue into you while forcing his nose on your clit. Then, his lips closed over the swelling nub once again. You ached more and more as he used his tongue to assault you, reaching down to grab his hair.

You stilled not more than a few seconds after you realised what you’d been doing, gasping and lifting off him as far as his grip would allow you to.

 You gazed down at the doctor, who seemed both startled and irritated as his breath fanned across your cunt and his forehead wrinkled.

I apologise! I didn't think!

"Why did you stop, darling?"

"Because I started riding your face the way I ride your dick!"

"What's the issue, my love?"

You gaped at him, and the doctor licked his already shiny lips while shaking his head as best he could with your thighs around it.

"Oh, dear one, you weren't harming anything at all. Do me the honour of coming back down here now, please. Stop worrying so much, ride my face, and tug my hair.

To prove that he's fine and dandy, the doctor dragged your hand back to his hair, giving it a light pat of reassurance as if to wordlessly say that you could pull to your heart’s content. Sighing and trying to take his words to heart for real the second time around, you lowered your body again and resolved to let yourself enjoy it. Your cooperation was rewarded with pleasure as the doctor's tongue twirled around your clit to show you how happy he truly was.

It felt great, and the way he rubbed your clit in a frenzy had you loosing every last piece of restraint that had held you back. The feeling of control was addictive, especially since the doctor didn't give up his mouth frequently. Eventually, the doctor allowed you to use his mouth as you needed to, following your motions instead of guiding you into his moist caress. As if he were a god to pray to instead of an extraterrestrial with time-lord abilities, you rode his soft tongue like a woman under a spell and moaned his name, feeling so lovely that you could cry. 

Even while his lips generally inflicted the sweetest destruction on your body, his grunts, muffled and rumbling against your sodden flesh, and his fingers playing your nipples took you to a climax unlike anything you'd ever experienced. An electric sensation that tingled over your skin caused you to shiver. The doctor kept stroking your tightening core and responding clit until you began to draw away for a break, even after your hips stopped on their own. 

He voluntarily let you go, and as you pulled yourself off of it and fell boneless on the bed next to him, you saw a glimpse of his face. His gentle smile was so wide that he seemed as content as a man who had just won a huge sum of money, and his chin glistened from the quantity of arousal you'd gotten all over it. He was almost as breathless as you were, and for minutes there was only the sound of your shared panting and gasping, though you weren't sure if it was a few or many.

"I guess I didn't have to worry after all."

"You see, I told you."

Without the sonic screwdriver this time, the doctor shuffled and turned onto his side to examine you. He hasn't yet removed the evidence of your orgasm off the bottom portion of his face. He proudly displayed his slickness, which, in your opinion, he had well earned.

"So, will you be good and listen to me the next time I tell you to sit on my face?"

"I swear, I'll be good."

The sound he made when he laughed was both a gesture of agreement and affection.