#10th my beloved but my god are you fucked up

[nikkashidashipper]

typing the words "theta sigma" into google holding my breath and feeling like rose tyler when she first looked up the doctor and the tardis

[jermer10]

Yandere Scout with a civilian reader?

TF2 yandere scout x civilian reader

18+ only, gn reader | yandere scout my beloved

tw: yandere themes, stalking, graphic depictions of violence, non-consensual sexual activity

drabbles under the cut :P

Being the 10th class, 'The Civilian', you’re someone different, special in a way that the others aren't

You work behind the scenes, cleaning up the battlefield after each fight, being escorted from point A to B with sensitive information by whichever team had you for that week

Thus, Scout quickly becomes fixated, convinced that he’s the only one who can understand and protect you

His mind is always on you. During missions, downtime, and even in the middle of conversations with the team, you occupy his every thought

He imagines every scenario where he’s the one protecting you, keeping you safe, and, most importantly, keeping you his

Scout makes it a point to always know where you are, even when you think you’re alone he's there, watching from the shadows

You might think you hear footsteps behind you or feel eyes on you, but every time you look, no one's there, you start to spiral into a paranoid mess

Scout steps in as your personal confidant, gaslighting you into believing you're having some sort of stress related psychotic episode

His stalking becomes more brazen over time, but he always plays it off like it’s no big deal

Scout’s obsession with you knows no boundaries - most nights he sneaks into your room and watches you sleep (and yes, he touches himself to you)

He’s careful not to wake you, his eyes scanning every detail, convinced that no one else could ever appreciate you the way he does

Escalated from jerking off behind you, to rubbing his cock on your lips, to using your thighs as a fleshlight

He intentionally cums on pieces of clothing from your closet, he doesn't care if you notice, if you take them to Medic for analysis - the samples always seem to go missing anyway

Some nights he drugs you with the intention of actually fucking you, but he can never work up the courage, wanting to save your first time together for when you're officially his

His biggest fantasy is having you beg for him, he wants you to obsess over him in the way he does to you

He hates when anyone else talks to you, especially if you seem to enjoy their company

If another mercenary spends too much time around you, Scout gets jealous and finds ways to interrupt - whether it’s a poorly timed joke, pretending to need something urgently, or picking a fight with them, he won’t stop until they leave you alone

Scout likes to take little items as trophies or souvenirs, something to remind him of you when you’re not around (often repeatedly cumming on the items - marking his territory)

He feels entitled to your personal space and has no qualms about going through your things when you’re not there, sitting so close to you he's basically on top of you, hugging you and touching you without asking

If you ask for space or mention feeling uncomfortable he stops talking to you for days, making threatening and suicidal comments when you're in earshot

Eventually you apologize to him, and he makes sure you know how happy he is that you've "come to your senses"

"I dunno why you'd even think somethin' as stupid as that in the first place, I don't make ya uncomfortable, you're probably just feelin' totally flattered, babe! It's okay, sometimes I can't tell the difference either."

His obsession escalates into paranoia - he becomes convinced that everyone around you is trying to take you away from him

Even innocent interactions are blown out of proportion in his mind, and he’ll go to great lengths to ensure no one gets too close

He will sabotage others’ efforts to spend time with you, spreading rumors or even manipulating situations so that they’re pushed out of your life

It seems like everyone has picked up on his irrational behaviour except you, and god help the soul who tries to warn you, so they stay away and hope that his "crush" passes

If he feels like you’re pulling away or that someone else is threatening his claim on you, he might snap

In a worst-case scenario, he could take matters into his own hands, kidnapping you and isolating you somewhere he believes no one can hurt you

To Scout, everything he’s doing is out of love - his intense possessiveness, his constant stalking, and even the lengths he’s willing to go to keep you close are all justified in his mind

[neteyamyawne]

🪷 — Forever : Persistent

୭ ˚. Pairing : widow!JakeSully x fem!na'vi!reader

୭ ˚. summary : Request

୭ ˚. Parts : pt1 pt2 pt3

୭ ˚. Song : Becoming one of "the people"

୭ ˚. Warning : angst , fighting, cursing, mutual pinning, stubbornness , kinda rude y/n, fluffy ending, confession during argument, implied smutt, rude!Jake, kissing, war scene, insecurities, age gap, yelling, let me know if there are more 💚

୭ ˚. Word count : 4.3k , not proof read

୭ ˚. Note : oh my fucking god, this story has been a ride and I'm dead!

"word" - dialogue, word - thoughts

୭ ˚. Glossary : [syaksyuk] - monkey like creatures from Avatar, [kehe] - no, [ma'yawnetu] - my little loved/beloved one.

It's been 5 years seen we have been "mated", 5 years since i accepted my fate for the good, the day i stepped out of that healing tent i made a vow to never be the naïve girl that got me into this in the first place, to never depend on anyone for my protection, even if Jake gave me his word to protect and respect me but that is now in the past, the past where i locked out my old self in the darkest depth of my mind, creating walls over walls of hard exterior to prevent that once soft hearted y/n to never escape.

One day, that's all it took to change the entirety of my life, one word and everything crashed, my whole world flipped upside down I may have become cold and cruel to unsuspecting eyes but the moment i get home and see the faces of our children, their smiles makes every moment of my decision worth it, our children ,yes , even if not by blood, i made my promise to their mother that I'll treat them as my own and they were mine the moment they all were born, i had every single right to even call them mine as i was the only one parenting while Jake was too engrossed in his war plans, sometimes i don't even know if I'm wrong when i think he is forgetting his own kids, his behavior still hasn't changed a bit , his demeanor almost always a bit cold towards everyone, concealing emotions to an extent where his own kids became wary of him, even if we rarely talked i knew he was hiding everything he can until he can't, as he promised he gave me his respect and in return i acted like his perfect "mate", to the world we were a sweet overly in love joyous couple, always helping eachother out, wearing things that matched in the communal festivals all sunshine and sparkles, but the moment we entered our tent the act was over, only keeping it up when the kids are around so it doesn't cause any suspicion between them, as i said me and Jake talked occasionally this silence became a big part of our routine, some of the topics being gatherings, family dinners, raid strategies, kids health etc. Other than that there was nothing to talk about between us.

Even after years of neglect, years of protecting myself from him, that stupid and selfish side of mine fell for him, pathetic i know and i did my damn best to ignore whatever this attraction i felt towards him labeling it as a stupid crush and nothing else but look where i am now years later still pinning for the man who sees me nothing more than an acquaintance, a person who looks after his kids that's all i was to him, i closed my eyes, opening them to reread the war plan for the 10th time now, groaning i got up for a walk to silence the stream of thoughts that fixated on the man i lived with, walking out as clearly was in no state to work right now, reaching our tent i sat near the extinguished fire, staring at the blackened wood i was interrupted by tuk throwing herself on my back wrapping her arms around my neck as she exclaimed "Mommy, you're back!" I stopped , turning to her as i brought her in front of me as i spoke " tuk tuk, how many times have i told you not to call me that" as i caressed her cheek , she looked down sighing " but you are my mom now" shaking my head i knew there was no debating with her, she always got what she wanted but i still stopped her from calling me that whenever i can, even kiri called "mom" sometimes, even if that brings me joy to no extent i couldn't help but feel the guilt weigh down on my heart, i knew i could never take ney's place and i didn't even want to but i couldn't help but think that it was supposed to her who should be sitting here and the one who tuk should be calling "mom", i just gave her a smile and giving her another small indication to not call me that even if i knew she'd call mom again i let her go, turning to make today's dinner….

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I knew we had angered eywa by going behind her back, tricking the people into believing that we have mated but in reality we both just sat down near the tree of souls in complete silence not even daring to utter a single word, i cringed inwardly at the memory as i made my way towards the weavers tents where i kept the surprise necklaces i was making for tuk and kiri, as i made my way over , i knew eywa could get angry but i didn't know she was petty as well, couples and mates were littered throughout the whole route, it's been like this everywhere i went as if eywa herself was taunting me for the decisions i have taken, ignoring everyone i got inside the tent just nodding at the people who acknowledged me not saying anything i went to my spot sitting down and working on the unfinished necklaces, i knew there were whispers and gossips about me floating through the clan but hearing them first hand was different " she has changed so much now" - " 5 years together and still no child of their own tsk tsk" - "that's what I thought maybe the Olo'eyktan isn't satisfied enough by her-" - "how can he be? He was mated to neytiri, she is nothing compared to her" every word uttered from their mouths digged deep into my skin, temper shoots through my mind all those pent up emotion resurfacing but i dampened as i got up walking over to those women and gritted out "if you want to talk bad about me please do it right in front of my face not behind my back, I'll come to you as I'm all ears for your criticism when I'm done with my work because i have a life to live unlike yourselfs" their faces were palling rapidly as they weren't aware of my presence before i made it known to them, i stormed off to angry at myself for letting my temper take the best of me, i speed walked to my spot at the lake, as i sat down , the necklaces still in my fist while i stared at the water that ripped with the breeze, Eywa i shouldn't have done that, scolding myself mentally i let myself calm down, this is gonna end up rough ,i thought sighing…..

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I got back home just wanting to eat something and go to sleep, as i walked inn to give tuk and kiri their necklaces but to my surprise the whole tent was empty, worry gripped me as i turned around to go look was them, it's been 2 hours past eclipse by now everyone should be home, but i was stopped in my track as the last person i wanted to see on the entirety of Pandora stood in front of me , Jake walked towards me as i started "Jake where are th-" but me cut me " they are with mo'at for tonight, they wanted to spend the night there" i let out the breath i was holding

Turning around once again I went towards the fireplace but Jake's voice rang out stopping me " why did you do that?" I know what he's talking about but how did it spread so quickly? " I lost my temper and I don't want to talk about it," I said curtly, continuing my way to the fireplace as I sat down. " You yell at a clan member and you don't wanna talk about it? How's that gonna work?, Huh!" I just ignored him not having the energy to talk any longer but he didn't stop as he yelled " Talk to me!" And for the second time today I lost my battle to contain my anger down " You wanna talk? Then let's fucking talk Jake, tell me what the fuck do you want me to do? Huh! What in the name of eywa should i have done? I had to protect my honor because I don't have that person to do it for me! Okay? I lost my temper because I don't have anyone to just LISTEN TO mE!" He was taken aback a little by my outburst, i have never in my life yelled at someone, in raids yes but not like this, he recovered quickly a dark look replacing it " you knew what you're getting into all those years ago, i made myself cl-" , " i fucking know that Jake, i know why i took that decision because i made a promise to neytiri and it was her last wish to me to not break it, i won't let her down like that" my voice got smaller with each word " just stop okay? I don't have to energy to fight right now please just leave me alone Jake " with that i walked out , not wanting him to see the pathetic sight of me crying, i didn't know where i was going i just walked and walked till my legs got tired and i couldn't think straight as i sat down on a branch as i let everything out, once again all alone deep inside the forest so no one has to give me that unwanted sympathy…

It's been a few days after my fight with Jake and to be honest it's been a lot awkward sleeping in one hammock as the kids still didn't know about the fight, at first we slept differently but the kids got suspicious so we opted for one hammock with our backs turned to each other as tuk laid beside me because 'she can't sleep when I'm not with her', they have also picked up on the tension between us but no one said anything, today we had another raid, neteyam and lo'ak were meant to be spotters but lo'ak got on the war ground where i was covering for other warriors when i saw them, before i could even get to them the blast happen, neteyam was hit badly, lo'ak was dazed but i picked him up as i saw Jake picking up neteyam as we ran to our ikrans, ushering lo'ak on his, i got onto mine…..

I stood a little behind neteyam as Jake scolded both of them " I let you two geniuses fly and you disobey direct orders!? You two were supposed to be spotters not down there on the ground!" He yells and i knew i had to step in as blood dripped down neteyam's wound " enough Jake" he looked at me with a pointed glare but i didn't waver as i said " your son is bleeding" just as pointedly to get my message across, " ma, I'm fine, I'm okay" but i didn't hear any further, sparing one last glance at Jake i took neteyam to the healing tent, quietly giving him a piece of my mind as well while we walked, dropping him at the tent, i just watched from outside, i knew it wasn't his fault, lo'ak have always wanted his father's approval more than anything but his ways to approach it drove Jake even more insane, i sat down besides Jake while he cleaned his gun, as i said " you need to be more gentle on them, they are your kids not your soldiers'' he glared at me once again but this time it was a bit different, something softer in his eyes " you don't have to tell me how to raise my kids" i exhaled through me nose, hissing at him " you're hurting them Jake, can't you see? He looks up to you, he looks for your approval and all you do is shove him away!" This was the most civil conversation we had in a while, his eyes glassed over, a shadow coming over his face as he finally looked at me, my heart sunk at his next words " i thought i lost them y/n" i pressed my lips into a thin line as i dared to put a hand on his giving him a knowing nod, sighing i stood to, walking to our tent to clean up and make something for us to eat.

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~ Jake POV ~

All i could think about was her outburst, the way she screamed at me, god i wanted to hug and never leave her side but things were way easier said than done, i knew i liked her and i also knew that she didn't reciprocate it, she couldn't! So i kept my act up of being a total asshole to her, but i knew i fucked up good when i forced her to talk, pushing the buttons a little to far and then being stupid enough to be shocked as she snapped, i regret yelling at her but i didn't know what got into me in that moment, now this fiasco with neteyam and lo'ak, her confronting me with how they really felt about me, it just hung in silence inside my mind, i knew i was being hard on them but i had too, there is a war going on out there if don't teach them now then it would be too late to teach later…

I really try to talk to her but i chicken out everytime, i know even after being a clan's leader , their toruk makto I'm still afraid to confess to the women who literally lives with me and has been living with me for 5 years, we sleep in same hammock for god's sake and i still back out at the last moment, it's always the same story, i build up my courage picking up the newest creation i made for her almost walking up to her then letting my thoughts take over , what if she doesn't like this? What if she doesn't feel the same way? She's younger than me, definitely wouldn't want someone as old as me at all, and i would back out, now i have dozens of necklaces, armbands , earing, beads, tops and what not piled in a corner of our tent were no one is allowed to go, i can lead hundreds of warriors in one command but this? This was definitely not my cup of tea, even winning neytiri was not this hard. I have to make a move soon because I can see my time is running out but I don't know how….

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~ Y/n POV ~

Flying besides Jake as neteyam was right behind us as we petroled our borders, it was nice to finally fly for a while without so much stress, it was still there but a lot less, syaksyuk clung around chirping and hooting now and then, all in all it was peaceful….until i heard lo'ak voice calling out through the coms, his voice was hushed and i knew right away something was wrong i glanced at Jake as he was already looking at me when lo'ak spoke "devil dog, this is eagle eye, we are near the abandoned shack and there are 6-7 Navi but they are not one of us, dreamwalkers maybe, they are armed with ARs'' before Jake could respond i said " who are "we"?" There was a moment of silence before he spoke "me, kiri, spider…and tuk" and my heart dropped to my stomach as Jake instantly ordered him to fall back and to move out without a sound, neteyam hearing all of it as he said "sir, here i have short cut" and we both turned to follow him.

It was getting dark as we got their, they were captured, my heart was beating a mile per second, my mind only coming up with different ways to get them all out, it had started to rain as well so we had to fast, taking a deep breath i let out a chirping sound to notify them of our arrival, i situated myself on top of a branch as knocking in my arrow as i trained it on the soldier holding kiri, i looked down seeing Jake as he nodded and i let of my arrow, that's when all hell broke loose, jumping down i took down the two demons in front of me, taking hold of kiri and tuk i pulled them ahead of me, pushing them towards our ikrans, i stood back to a tree when i heard his voice " ahh, mrs. Sully, long time no see, looks like you were very busy looking at that litter of yours, why don't you come down here huh? Have a little chat, it's been a while after you killed me" i let out a hiss, he thinks he's talking to neytiri but i couldn't help myself as i said " I'll kill you a hundred times if i have to , demon" right as i said it i heard a crunch behind me as i whipped my head to look but a spray of blood hit my face as i saw Jake with his axe in the shooter's neck him long dead, as i twisted knocking my arrows one last time as i shot the two soldiers beneath me and i ran with Jake towards our mounts, i pulled kiri into me, as she sobbed in my neck, Jake's checked on lo'ak as i pulled in tuk as well, kiri sobbed for spider as he was taken, i silently sent a prayer to eywa to keep the boy safe, as we all mounted the ikrans, lo'ak with neteyam, kiri with Jake and tuk with me, tuk was shocked by all this as she clung to me , wrapping her arms around my neck as i kept her close to me, no one said a word all throughout the journey home…..

" We have to leave, there is no other way" Jake said as I stared at him, I knew he was back but this? Leaving the only home I've ever had? Leaving EVERYTHING I ever had behind? He had to be joking, "kehe, no, do you even understand what you're saying?" He just lets out an exaggerated sigh " i know what I'm talking about y/n, he is BACK, but now not only for me but my family as well, he will come here and destroy everything we have made all over again" and i just stood there " you can't ask me for this Jake, this is going too far now, i can't-" "Don't you understand? He will not stop till he gets to me, listen to me , we have to get out of here as soon as possible" and what i said next left him flabbergasted "NO! i will not leave my home in fear of him , we'll fight like we did last time, i will not leave, if you want to go you can, we have no bond stopping you, we had nothing to even begin with…..this is my home and I'll stand with it." He stared at me shocked, like he never expected me to say no but here I was doing just that! A new kind of determination came over his looks, i thought he was gonna turn around and storm out but what he did next left me speechless as he propelled forward connect his lips with mine, my eyes widen but i didn't break it, he slowly pulled back and said " i need you y/n, I've always needed you, you grounded me , you are my support, if it weren't for you i would have gone insane years ago, i need you by my side, i should have said this way earlier but now i can't lose you, please , you're all I've got, i can't do this without you, I've- I've loved you for years y/n but i was too afraid to say anything, please just think about this, we have to get out of here before he has a chance to get to us" i didn't have any words as he still held me in his arms, my heart beating so fast that i think it'll burst out of my chest, my fingers were shaking at their spot on his forearms as i stared at him, he tilted his head , his tail wrapping around my thigh, everything felt unreal, like time froze, tears lined my eyes while i fell to my knees…

He engulfed me in a hug as tears and sobs wrecked my body, years of pent up emotions coming out, he held me rubbing my back, supporting me,as i stopped pulling out and started hitting his chest and arms with whatever strength i had left in me, he took it all in as he just smiled, hugging me again he spoke " I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry for letting you go through all this alone, i see you, i really do, i know i should have been there through every step but i let my thoughts get in between, it's okay if you don't lik-" i shut him up as i kissed this time but pulled back just as quickly, getting up and away as a confused Jake Sully still sat on the floor, he frowned his eyebrows joining together but i simply pick up my bow and i said " a simple apology won't fix everything sully, you have to earn it" my back was to him so i didn't see him come up behind me as he puts his big hands on my hips turning me around looking at me with love sick eyes, keeping my bow down i put my hands on his chest , he gave the smirk i haven't seen in years, and pushed him back , letting out a sigh i said " I see you too Jake, and just like you i kept silent for years but you can't expect me to do this, this my home, my life! everything I've ever known, we haven't even made tsaheylu yet, and i respect your choice but i can't do this" he silently put his forehead against mine and i closed my eyes as he began " i know i said i won't make tsaheylu with you but all these years together, i have changed, really, you changed me and that too for good, i wasn't in a good state of mind back then but now i know" i opened my eyes to the silence but gasped as i saw Jake his queue in front of me, pulling my forehead back from his as i looked at him in the eyes " Jake are you really sure about this? I don't want to do it if it's only for the sake of all this!" But he just shook his head " No, ma' yawnetu, i mean it, i see you and i want to prove it, that is if you give me a chance too" i knew the water works were coming as i brought my queue in front of me, i looked at him seriously and he just nodded connecting our queues, it was a feeling I've never felt before, closing my eyes as it washed over me in waves, it was everything but nothing at once, i felt him and his love for me, his heart beat, his breath, his thoughts everything, fluttering my eyes open i looked at him again as he smiled down at me, i felt complete, he hugged me once again and i melted in it, pulling him as close as i can , sighing i let go, " c'mon we don't have all day, we have to move fast, I don't want that demon anywhere near my children" i walked away giving him a smile over my shoulder as i picked up my bow and went outside to tell the kids about the plans but found them huddled up against the side of our tent, ears pressed attentively, my guess is they were secretly listening instead of being with mo'at and they haven't heard me come out and i was right as i heard tuk say " why aren't they talking? Is mom crying again?" I came up behind them and coughed , all of them tensed up as they slowly turned their heads as i glared at them head tilted and neteyam started " I'm sorry ma, it's my fault-" "enough, everybody inside right now as i assume you've heard everything, we need to discuss and pack up". I know this is gonna be hard for them as it's for me but we have to, it's for everyone's safety, sighing i lead them all inn…..

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I was lying besides Jake, as the kids were with mo'at spending their last night with their grandmother and giving an excuse for our privacy too, my head on his chest as we both stayed silent enjoying for once together, i chuckled as i thought about just yesterday when we slept with our backs against each other absolutely refusing to look and now i am lying almost on top of him, he looked at me confused as of why i was laughing, i just looked up and did the first that came to my mind, kissing him right on the lips as he reciprocated and deepening it, his hands moving to hips and waist, roaming up my chest as my own tangled in his hair, he licked my bottom lip and every wall i ever made tore down one by one, letting him inn as his tongue immediately dominated mine and i gladly caved in , breaking the kiss as he smirked at me, the question evident in his eyes and i nodded and that's all the confirmation he needed as he took over, as for tonight? I'll be busy but a different kind of busy……..

A/n : i fucking had so muchhh fun writing this fr 😭 some parts made me sad even tho i was the one writing it 😂 i hope i did good, i hope y'all like it ☺️🫶🏼 and 4.3k?!!! Wtf i didn't know when i even crossed 2k lmao

Yawne : @fanboyluvr, @callmeoncette, @lu-the-ghost-reader, @brisbriskett, @saltedcoffeescotch, @jackiehollanderr, @zoetrope1997, @yeosxxx, @persefolli.

©Neteyamyawne2023 | All Rights Reserved. Do not repost on other platforms, copy, steal, or translate any of my works!

[kyros-tha-soldier]

chapter 1103 SPOILERS

I've gotten a bit lazy lately, I'm basically burnt out to the BONE from work so sorry for not bringing the previous leaks earlier:

we've got big news for my beloved bonbon and her bear papa:

The chapter's title is "I'm sorry, daddy" (GOOOOOOOOD WHY!) And we have a beautiful color spread of the straw hats and our beloved wano warrior YAMATO, they're all riding momo in his dragon form (😏) since it's the year of the dragon

We start where we finished in the mini flashback, where bonney is standing in the memory bubble room, she turns back to her original child form and apologizes to vegapunk since she used to think HE was the one behind her dad's death

Vegapunk understands and gives her something Kuma was planning on handing her on her 10th birthday, it's a sun necklace made of sapphire

UAAAAAAAGHHHH NOOOOOO HOW DARE YOU SATURN!! HOW DARE YOU KILL SOMEONE AS SWEET AS KUMA

Speak of the devil (literally!) We go back to the present time confrontation between saturn, the remaining vegapunks, the cp0 and the rest. Bonney uses her attack "Nika-ish future" to attack saturn but she fails. NOW THIS IS WHERE IT'S ABOUT TO GET ABSOLUTELY BONKERS!

Saturn thinks to himself that this form of Bonney's Nika is much more different than the Nika God since she can only replicate the rubber power

This mf Saturn has his power over everybody that they can't budge a single inch, suddenly he notices that Luffy is eating some food from the floor (somebody must've snuck it at the beginning of the confrontation or smtn) of course Saturn is like "how fucking dare you eat while I'm in the middle of my epic fit of rage" and orders someone to chain him with kairoseki (what a vibe killer)

Like oooooooh calm down big man he's not gonna bite you ffs

It's revealed that thw Toshi Toshi no mi power was given to bonney by saturn, now underline the word "POWER" because this is where it's about to get REALLY messed up

Saturn has been experimenting on people to extract devil fruit powers and then give them to other people. And of course, as fucked up as it sounds, Saturn gave the disease to Ginny (probably while she was pregnant) and the poor woman ended up developing the rare sapphire scale disease

i swear on god, if Saturn's bitchass doesn't get absolutely wrecked then I'm dropping OP, do NOT DISAPPOINT ME ODA I AM SERIOUS!

also is it just me, or is this aj attempt from Oda to clarify that the sapphire scale disease is a sideffect and not an STD? Because I've ssen A LOT of fans speculating about that and i have NEVER EVER in my life thought I'd see the day where I'll hear the words STD and ONE PIECE in one sentence until this very arc!

anyways, Saturn's stupid-ass gave the toshi toshi effect to ginny and somehow she passed it to bonney during her pregnancy, this comes as a surprise to him since this has never happened

According to Saturn, the more bonney starts to learn about Nika's true form and tries to copy it, the weaker she becomes. bonney is seen crying in despair and fear, she apologizes to her father about how despite how far he went to ensure she'd make it out alive, she will end up dead anyways

NO BONBON DON'T CRY PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU PAPA WOULD ALWAYS PROTECT YOU!!!

Speaking of her papi, Kuma crashes right into egghead and gets attacked by some marine soldiers who were shooting at him with grenade launchers (taht's hardcore as fuck, I AM DROPPING THE PANELS NOW just so you can see how cold Kuma looks!)

he gets injured once again in his head but is able to reach Saturn just in time (who had thrown bonney to the ground and was about to squash her with his spider legs) just for Kuma to come and shield her with his body, and have the long nail at the end of Saturn's leg punture his back and chest

Kuma grabs him by the leg and turs around, readying a punch as his face grimaces in rage, and saturn looks at him in absolute shock

and now, DRUM ROLL FOR THE LEAAAAAAAAAKS

oh boy, we eating GOOD tonight!

[theroseandthebeast]

Yuletide 2023 Recs, Batch One

the most wonderful time of the year is here again!

16 recs for 11th CE RPF/Crusader Kings 3, The Addams Family, Ancient Egyptian RPF, Aquaman, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, Barbie the Movie, The Bear, Beyond Evil, Black Books, and The Black Tapes

Matilda di Canossa Presents: Succession Planning for Dummies, Gen, Matilde di Canossa | Matilda of Tuscany

It’s always, “dear God in heaven, Matilda, how could you have eaten the pope?” and never “how was eating the pope; did the pope taste good?”

So Nice, Gen, Pubert Addams

Pubert was a different kind of Addams. OR What happens when the golden-haired angelic baby never reverted back to his little moustachioed self.

Beloved of Aten, Amenhotep IV | Akhenaten/Nefertiti of Egypt + Meritaten of Egypt/Smenkhkare of Egypt

Meriaten is beloved. By her parents. By the Aten. All is secure and as is it should be. Her father has revealed the truth of the world. The sun disk that can clearly be seen in the sky is no secret. She is beloved. She speaks the truth of Aten.

daughter of Xebel, Gen, Nereus & Mera

Y'Mera Xebella Challa is a daughter of Xebel before she is anything else.

Happiness is a Warm Gun, Lucy Gray Baird/Coriolanus Snow

"I'm looking out for you, too. I'll find a way," he promises. Coriolanus teaches Lucy Gray to shoot a gun.

saint sebastian, filled with arrows, Lucy Gray Baird/Coriolanus Snow

Coriolanus stares at it. Then he stares at her. She can see his imprecision again, the flicker of something untrustworthy beneath all the gold hair and famous lineage. “What should I do with it?” he asks, pliant, one last bid for direction. Lucy Gray kisses him again. “Come back to me,” she orders. “Do whatever you have to do to come back to me, Coriolanus Snow.” - (Coriolanus Snow wins the 10th annual Hunger Games with the help of his mentor, Lucy Gray Baird.)

Like My Head Against A Board, Allan/Ryan Gosling's Ken

Allan lends a helping hand.

to let the next life off the hook, Margot Robbie's Barbie/Gloria

Barbie’s not the only one who has a past life. When Gloria faces hers, everything changes - for both of them.

to recreate us, Luca/Marcus

After he left Copenhagen, Marcus never thought he'd see Luca again.

maillard reaction, Sydney Adamu/Richard "Richie" Jerimovich

There’s no more restaurant to manage, no more food to cook, and Syd doesn’t really know what to do with her body, except fuck Richie, apparently.

in every heart there is a room, Sydney Adamu/Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto

“Chef,” Carmy says softly, “it’s just for a few hours.” “A few hours?! A single minute of catering brunch is going to make me a suicide risk, Chef!” “I’ll be there with you. Chef.” Sydney doesn’t look like she forgives him, exactly, but her dire expression loosens up, just a little bit. In which Cicero calls in a favor, hollandaise is made, and Sydney makes a promise.

acquired taste, Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto/Luca

Before Copenhagen, there was Chicago.

Heaven Ain't Close in a Place Like This, Han Joo Won/Lee Dong Sik

Chained to a radiator in a warehouse, his lips cracking like tissue paper from lack of water, Han Juwon can admit that he might have fucked up.

Steal Your Breath Away, Han Joo Won/Lee Dong Sik

Han Juwon calls in a veritable litany of favors until he gets what he’s after: Lee Dongsik in handcuffs, alone in an interrogation room.

Three Sheets to the Wind, Manny Bianco/Bernard Black/Fran Katzenjammer

A customer mistakes Fran, Manny, and Bernard for a throuple. They start to wonder if it's true.

Unheard, Unsought For, Or Unseen, Alex Reagan/Richard Strand

Richard Strand has been in love before, of course. He’s not sure he’s ever felt like this. Three moments, throughout the course of working with Miss Alex Reagan on The Black Tapes Podcast, when Richard Strand learns that he is utterly wrong about something he thought he knew.

[briliantlymad]

Do you have any Star Wars fanfic recommendations? Especially Anakin centered. <3 Daddy Anakin if possible.

beloved you've come at the right time because i've been slowly going through my star wars bookmarks for like. the 10th time. I hope you enjoy these

there but for the grace of god is a fix it with dadkin sprinkled throughout.

The Exiled is a darth vader lives au. Anakin, Leia and Ben solo centric. it gets the fxcked up relationship between all three of them so well. Also WOO Grandad Anakin lesgo

Grounded Dad Darth Vader. He's trying with luke and the effort counts

Well It goes Like This Dad Anakin but not with the twins and instead with a gaggle of kids he saves during order 66

The Sunrise Fix it. Parents Anidala who realise that a life after war is a lot harder to get used to. it's a good series i love it.

Little Pilots Rebel AU. Anakin bonding with his kids its fucking adorable.

Shades in the Desert Force Ghost Anakin finding out that parenting is a lot harder when your baby is growing up on tatooine and he's the only who can see you

The kind that was burned first Obikin and the twins as babies time travelled and anakin gets the chance to be a parent. its got less dadakin than you'd want but its a good fic with the little bits it does have.

Jupiter Anakin raises the twins while hiding from the empire and its so precious i love it.

Shatterpoints Emperor Vader who raises his kids and ends up actually being good at the emperor bit cus he's purged the senate of every palpy supporter. Still Crazy Cakes but i think i'd describe his chara as a "good dictator" sjsjsjsjsj. very cute Leia and Luke moments im ngl.

There ya go. a perfect 10 out of the last 10 pages of my 50 pages of Star wars bookmarks.

Some are obikin some are anidala. they're all very good. def teared up at some of these.

[papatundespainknife]

was reminded again about how much i HATE the shows names for the mikaelsons bc they DON’T MAKE FUCKING SENSE FOR 10TH CENTURY NORSEMEN. So i’m gonna throw out here the names i used for them on my very short lived klaus and elijah blogs (burn out is real lol). the idea here was that these were their names they were given/born with which they later change around to the ones we know them by to you know, keep up with the times a lil better.

first off the last names are now MíMISSON and MÍMISDÓTTIR because tHaT’s HoW nOrSe LaSt NaMeS wOrK.

Mímir = Mikael Mímir is a famous character in Scandinavian myth. He was a wise man and advisor to Odin who was decapitated in the Æsir–Vanir War. Odin did some witchcraft to preserve his head and now keeps it in the well at the bottom of Yggdrasil and asks him shit. It just feels like the kinda thing parents would name their kid with optimism he’d grow up Wise and favored by Odin but then he turns out Like That. Picks Mikael later on because he would be the time to associate himself with a divine messenger warrior angel who 1v1′d Satan. The prick.

Eistla = Esther Frankly the one I’m least likely to actually USE the canon name for outside of meta and general fandom talking and only for clarity reasons. Since she died in the 10th century and isn’t around again until the 21st century for a hot minute there’s really no need to figure out a new name for her. Derived from “Eist/Oast” which means like “Pyre/Embers/Fire/Etc” also the name of Jotunn.

Freya = Freya No notes for obvious reasons. Fun fact tho, Freya is just the feminine form of Freyr which means “Lord/Master” or “Fertile” which tracks with how both Freya and Freyr are associated with fertility. Freya is the Vanir goddess oflove, beauty, fertility, sex, war, gold, and seiðr (magic for seeing and influencing the future) so I mean, she’s very accurately named lol.

Finnbjǫrn = Finn Honestly again another dude who didn’t really change his name because he was in a box for 900 years but also lucked out that Finn’s both a nickname for his own name and like, A Normal Ass Name to this day. Finn usually refers to Finland/Lapland and björn/bjǫrn means “bear/warrior”. Which like honestly, yes so real, such vibes for my specialest boy.

Eylaugr = Elijah Eylaugr is the male form of Eylaug and is built from “Ey” which means “island” or “floodplain” and Laug which in old germanic means “to celebrate marriage/to swear a holy oath/to be dedicated” and is likely related to the old Norse “Laug/Log” which means “bath (in connection with religious worship)”. Likely picked Elijah due to the auditory similarity to help with like, fucking remembering it and responding to it (honestly a major factor for all of them lbr) but also keeps the holy vibes aesthetic since Elijah is a prophet and miracle worker and I think he’d appreciate that through line of like, aesthetic continuity.

Næskunungr = Nikalus Combination of “Nes” (ness/spit of land) and “Konung” (king). Old Norse neskonungr = 'ness-king', 'small-king'; one who has no more than a ness over which to rule. Which like, god SUCH A BURN EVEN FROM YOUTH. I’d just been looking for something that sounded reasonably close to “Niklaus” on an auditory level but then I saw the breakdown of the parts and was like “oh yeah, that’s Klaus”. Like you could see it as parents being like “aw little king baby :)” or “look at this napeleon complex motherfucker even before napeleon complexes are a THING” and I think that’s beautiful. Goes with Niklaus later because again, reasonably close to Næskunungr in sound and also means “Victor of the people” and I mean...... Yeah.... He’d do that.....

Ragrifridr/Ragnfríðr = Rebekah Built from “regin” (advise/decision/might/power (of the gods) ) and “fríðr” (beautiful/beloved/good/alive/peaceful/safe). She absolutely picked it for the sound and vibes and nothing else but it does mean “Moderator, To Tie, Noose, To Bind, Captivating, Strong Combatant, Hearty”. Which does feel very good for her so like, 10/10 on that front

Kolr = Kol Again another one who gets no notes. Stunning, perfect, flawless. Kol/Kolr in old Norse just means “coal” so like, lol okay I see we gave up around here I guess.

Heðinn = Henrik Heðinn means “jacket of fur or skin” in Old Norse. I’ve already given some leeway in places like Finn’s name which is more finnish than it is norwegian but I gotta draw the line somewhere and I’m doing it at Henrik’s german ass name. Again another one who would’ve never used their canon name because he’s Fuckin’ Dead. Tried to pick something was from the right rough area and sounded similar enough and then I saw the meaning of this name and was like “oh that’s some nice foreshadowing if I’ve ever seen it”.

BONUS ROUND--

Since I’m the boss now and say that Sage is from the same time period here’s a more timeline appropriate name for her too

Sannhild = Sage Built of the Old Norse: sannr (true/truthful) and “hildr” (battle/fight). Mainly picked for the auditory closeness to Sage and vibes.

[she-walked-away]

Tag Game

Thank you @lonestar-s5countdown for keeping me in your mind with these tag games!

(1) What is your favorite 911 Lone Star disaster or emergency?

I think the Ice Storm will always go down as my favorite disaster arc. I think for the very first time the show found a great character balance in involving the 126 and everybody else in rescues without putting too much focus on just one character. It was also just such a fun ride to watch!

Push my beloved, you will always be iconic.

Fun fact: whenever I hear the Grace birth/TK awakening music first start, I bust into involuntary tears like Pavlov's dog so that's fun!!!!

(2) Is there a disaster the show hasn't already done that you'd like to see?

I wish they would have saved the Tornado episode for a later season. Like don't get me wrong, it was a good episode. But I also think that the show was so brand new that we didn't get a chance to properly explore the characters in different rescues. Also, Texas is a hotbed for tornados now and as someone who lives nearby a tornado prone area in the south- I would like to see it done again.

But, I definitely think that they should do a flood disaster. We have a hot cast and to see them soaking wet as they do rescues? PLEASE.

(3) If you're keeping up with BTS/spoilers, which season 5 disaster are you most looking forward to?

Obviously the train wreck, but I think the asteroid.

Because what the ever loving fuck is happening with that. And HOW??

(4) Which three main characters would you want with you in the event of a massive natural disaster and why?

I would want Grace because she's so soothing and I think she would keep me calm, Paul because he's a sherlock and can get us out of the situation with his observation SKILLZ, and TK because I may need some medical attention and some firefighting and he's DUAL CERTIFIED.

And we would survive because if we don't, Carlos and Judd would kill me again.

(5) Which three main characters would you least want with you in the event of a massive natural disaster and why?

I'm going with side characters because I think all of the mains are just too smart and capable and I cannot choose between my children!!

Pearce because he probably would sacrifice me to the gods or something to keep his record perfect.

Brianna and Caleb because he'd probably get stuck in another box or fence and they'd fight the entire time and then I would probably die trying to save myself and then my poor corpse would be regulated to them making out beside it after getting back together for the 10th time.

Sadie. She'd just drug me and ask me while I was dying if she thinks that she has a chance with Owen.

Tagging those who may be interested!

@thisbuildinghasfeelings, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @ladytessa74, @strandnreyes, @reyesstrand, @carlos-in-glasses, @heartstringsduet, @herefortarlos, @welcometololaland + OPEN TAG

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 22 (my beloved!) - still dying my hair

I was immediately "Oh, Martin sounds so nice! The voice fits so well!"

We now know again, where in the timeline we're at! 12th of March 2016! Which was, btw, a Saturday, lol! Yeah yeah, I know, it's a different universe, maybe they started their calendars a day off XD And I don't think, there is any way to tell, how many statements per month or something Jon got through. I really don't think that there was like a pile and every 10th statement is a real one. Sometimes he may have gotten through 2 a week and then 3 weeks nothing. I don't think there is any pattern or regularity to it. Not at this point at least. I can get behind that for S4 maybe…

"and you can vouch for the soundness of my mind, can’t you?" [beat] "That is beside the point." - Jon, you fucking asshole xD

"I like spiders." - Of course you do^^

"with a faint cracking sound, like stepping on an eggshell" - vs. a quote from MAG 6 "The closest I could come would be to say it sounded like… an egg being dropped onto a stone floor"

"I’m not exactly the smallest guy in the world, I know" - and I wanna concentrate on the "I know", he sounds so self-aware of this body type there but so dismissive at the same time. Like enough people already have pointed it out to him and he so fed up about it by now… God, I can imagine! I would very much like to use this bullet point to remind people that there is no one-single-absolute way to be fat and if you don't like someone's style then pls just block the user and move on.

"I swear the edges seemed to move. It was like a… like a, like an undulation, like, like they were being shifted by something." - Shifted by wriggling worms?

"I was heading home when I got to thinking, and I was worried I hadn’t really done enough investigation for you" - This is so painful. To think that Martin probably heard what Jon said about him in MAG 14 (like Jon won't want anyone get chopped up but he didn't care enough for Martin if it were to happened to him… And "useless ass") and then Martin also probably felt bad for declining to research anything on the Laura Popham, MAG 15, case… He's probably just going through the motions of wanting to prove himself (thanks Martin's mother!) and he really wanted to prove himself to Jon there (and he probably also didn't want to get fired) with the Vittery case and paid a very high price for that.

"I just wanted to take a picture of the thing. To prove to you that it happened – you’re always so quick to dismiss these statements and I wanted proof for you." - Awwww…

"That thing jumped literally 6 feet through the air at my face." - I know a lot of people use this when wanting to find out how tall Martin is, but I don't think that word can be taken so seriously. We don't know anything about by what measurements he goes. Does he mean the literal diagonal leap? But we don't now how far he was from the worm? Does he just mean the horizontal distance that lay between him and the worm? Or does he mean the vertical, like how high the worm had do jump to reach his face. Would you, when describing the vertical, just say your height as in top of your head or would you cut down a few centimeters to your face? Would you use the lowest point of your face then, so your chin, or the middle, like your nose, or…?

What is it with canned peaches and podcasts?

"I… like my job. Most of the time." - I already said that I had a boss like Jon for about 6 years and I feel this statement right there very much… I like my job. I just don't like having a target painted on my back for every shit my boss could possibly throw at me.

Jon is still so hard to read for me at this point. He obviously does care here but he remains so composed, he doesn't drop his facade of poshness, not even for a moment. But given his history with Mr. Spider, he feel probably a lot of that guilt bubbling up.

So my thought to this episode in general was: Finally shit's going doooooown!!!

This was the episode that did it for me. After that I couldn't stop thinking about TMA and really genuinely wanted to know what happens next. I really like Prentiss, I also really liked MAG 6, so it's no wonder that the next episode that was about the worms got me hooked. I guess you could say, they were… hookworms!!! (Also Martin, Martin is best! I was on Martin's side from the start. Always have been.)

Stuff is happening in the archives now!

[kingdaddydaichi]

Astrology Accuracies in Anime: Daichi Sawamura - ♑ Capricorn ♑

I swear Daichi is the Capricorniest Capricorn ever to have Capricorned. If I wasn't so sold on him being Scorpio Rising I'd even go so far as to say that he's a Capricorn prototype (Cap Sun/Cap Rising).

Let's start with Cap's planetary ruler - Saturn. Saturn is the father - associated with Father Time. His equivalent in Greek mythology is Cronus - you know...the one who ate all but one of his children? Only Zeus (Sun) was spared when his mother (Rhea) swaddled a stone, which Cronus swallowed instead of baby Zeus who later killed his father to avenge his siblings and became king of the gods. So, in astrology, Saturn represents things associated with the father - the disciplinarian, the authority figure. Saturn is about delayed gratification - he puts obstacles in your path to test you and make you overcome your fears and insecurities and earn your keep - but also ultimate reward - the kind that lasts. It's the right kind of effort. The quote "Nothing in the world is worth having or doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty..." is Saturnian asf. Saturn imposes restrictions, limitations, structure. Think about curfews - again, Saturn rules time itself (and Caps hate to waste time). Saturn rules the skin - structure/limitation can be a good thing; think about the rings of Saturn - structures that are held together/order that is kept by Saturn's influence.

Now think about Daichi's influence on his team. Seeing that Saturnian energy yet?

It's no wonder he's been nicknamed Dadchi. Responsible. Mature. Grounded. Stable. Strict. Yells at his children when they misbehave.

It's also no surprise that he goes on to become a cop - enforcing rules/laws, maintaining order, upholding justice (via discipline). Handcuffs are rather restricting and limit movement, don't they? Respect his authoritY!

Cap is the 10th house of the zodiac, which rules personal achievements, career, status, and public image (gotta keep those kids in line and make sure they mind their manners).

Caps tend to be very career-minded, sometimes "married" to their work, and/or are workaholics. They are highly ambitious and all about stacking coins and smashing goals. They themselves are disciplined, structured, fearless, and determined. They do not give up easily, if at all. They stand tall in the face of adversity. They overcome. They push their way through the most daunting of challenges, even when success seems impossible. Cap's symbol is the sea-goat, though I've heard some astrologers instead refer to the mountain goat, which I like better too tbh cuz think about mountain goats... It's like they have suction cups for hooves, allowing them to scale sheer cliffs to reach the summits of mountains, which seems impossible to most of us. Like how the fuck do they do that without falling to their death? Caps run on unmatched determination, eat their fears for lunch, make adversity their bitch, and climb their asses off all the way to the top!

Cap's modality/element is Cardinal/Earth. Cardinal signs - Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn - are the initiators, the trailblazers. They get shit started. Natural leaders, they are restless and like to be in control.

Earth signs - Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn - are grounded, practical, and keep it 💯. They value stability, security, a place to touch down and plant roots. Put it all together and Daichi is a grounded, realistic, practical organizer with natural leadership abilities who likes to be in control. He's a touchstone. An anchor. He's solid and sure and drives shit forward.

That's all for now. I might add more later, but there are some badass fireworks going off in my neighborhood rn and I want to go outside and watch them.

🎉🎆🎇✨Happy New Year✨🎇🎆🎉, my beloveds! Here's to 2022! Kanpai! 🥂

And, of course, 🎂🎁🍾 Happy Birthday, Daichi! 🍾🎁🎂 You sexy goat-beast of a thicc, handsome grown ass dilf who has his shit together and a grind-worthy ass and thighs that make me wet just thinking about riding them, you! Le sigh.

[wheresmybuckyhoes]

Shut up and Kiss him

Summary: You and your boyfriend Steve have been apart for too long and your ready to ‘get it going’ when Bucky happens to get in your way. So instead you decide to...encourage them to ‘play’ together.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: Swearing, suggested smut

Note from yours truly: Hey guys thanks for reading! Feel free to give me suggestions and feedback. Love you x

‘What the fuck’ you groaned, feeling every ounce of oxygen drain from your lungs momentarily as your flung against a wall, falling flat on your back.

 You tried to heave your exaughsted body of the ground, but slumped back down in defeat. You saw a metal hand obstruct your wonderful veiw of the sky through the glass ceiling, attached to a body with an all-too smug grin plastered on his face. You grumbled as you reached out to take his hand, being swiftly pulled back to your feet. ‘I won’ said Bucky as he walked to the side of the training room to grab his shirt, pulling it on in one swift motion. You felt a weird sense of disappointment to see his perfectly sculpted body get covered up. You wondered what he would look like next to your boyfriend’s perfectly sculpted body...no what on earth is going on in your brain. Stop getting distracted.

‘How are you not sweating?!’ you asked, quite literally wide - eyed. He shrugged in your direction and turned around to grab a drink of water from his avengers branded bottle Peter made you all buy. You knew this was your chance. Although you were a highly trained assassin, almost as skilled as Black Widow in hand to hand combat, and much more skilled with using a knife, you could never beat Bucky with only your fists. His super soldier strength and reflexes mixed with his fucking metal arm made it near impossible for you to win against him. But with Bucky’s back turned, this was your chance.

You ran at him with all you had and jumped onto his broad shoulders, trying to slightly cut off his oxygen supply with your legs. But he turned towards the mats, held you by the waist and flung you forward like the gentleman he is, sending you tumbling. But getting riled up now, you grabbed his leg as he tried to walk away again, pulling angrily at his ankle, making him fall on his back. He groaned loudly as he tried to get up but you quickly swung your leg over his chest so you were straddling him, finally pining him down by the arms. The soldier smiled at you from underneath your legs, making you want to punch his perfect teeth. Your faces were inches apart, panting and staring each other in the eyes, almost daring the other to make a move. Bucky knew he could easily have you pinned down underneath him, but he had heard Steve walk in.

‘We’re you 2 fucking while I was gone’ your boyfriend asked proudly as he strolled into the training room. ‘What...no...I would never want to fuck y/n, god no Steve’ (he said that last part with a very over the top tone of disgust). You and Bucky’s eyes met for only a second, but it was enough to make it weird as you made a disgusted face quickly getting of Bucky and holding out a hand to help him up. ‘Yeah Steve what the fuck Bucky is...is... is a gross ehh human’ you replied angrily. Bucky took your hand graciously, almost bringing you down again as he weighed just a bit more than you. You ran over to Steve, jumping into his arms and wrapping your legs around him. ‘Your back!’ you cried, kissing him fondly, pulling back to look at the eyes you had missed so badly. ‘I missed you too’ he laughed, gently placing you down and giving you a kiss on the forehead before going to greet his best friend Bucky.

You watched as your favourite boys tried to greet one another in a dignified way with you watching, but quickly gave up and gave eachother an adorable hug. You left the training room and hopped into the elevator, pressing the button for the 10th floor which you had to yourself. Although Bucky doesn’t sweat a drop, you were drenched from head to toe and were in desperate need of a shower. You hummed happily as the elevator climbed up, opening the doors to a beautiful living room Tony had designed just for you. It also had a small kitchen on the same floor, in addition to your bedroom and master bathroom. It was perfect.

-——————————-(<>)-——————————-

After you got out of the shower, feeling much more revitalated and fresh, you wrapped a fluffy white towel around your chest. Before you could reach for your hairbrush you heard a knock, making you jump slightly. ‘Who is it?’ you questioned vaguely as you brushed your wavy hair that only seemed to be nice when wet. The voice on the other side grumbled. ‘Bucky’ it replied. You opened the door making extra sure you had a hold on the towel so it woudnt slip down. ‘Hey wassup?’ you asked as his newly - showered smell hit you. A scent like a forest after a light sprinkle of rain crept into your nose, making your head spin from just how wonderful he smelt. ‘Just wanted to let you know you did great today. I really see the improvements’ he spoke as his eyes unwillingly trailed over your towel, the only thing separating him and your naked body. You noticed him trail off and waved a hand in his face, laughing as you asked ‘you good buddy?’ He shook his head as he focused again on your beautiful hazel eyes that seemed to change colour depending on the weather. Oh my god Bucky focus for fucks sake. ‘Fine sorry just zoned out... oh yeah your boyfriends looking for you’ he said before turning around and quickly slipping into the elevator, disappearing behind the doors. You stood at the bathroom doorway for a bit, slightly confused. Bucky was acting all weird, unlike his usual cocky self. You had no idea what had gotten into him, as usually he was perfectly collected (winter soldier history and all). You shrugged it off to your overactive imagination and whisked yourself to your closet to get dressed. You pulled on a short plaid skirt and a simple white vest top, pulling on your thigh sheaf because you wore that dam thing under every skirt you had, sliding in a small knife into one of the two slots. As an avenger you sort of had to be prepared at all times, and like Thor always says; ‘There’s always someone waiting to turn into a snake and try to kill you, even your own brother’. I’m not sure how revelant that is to you considering you don’t have a brother and you’d probably kill any snake that got within a 10 mile radius of you but, whatever you say god of hammers. You entered the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.

You stepped out of the elevator onto the floor where you fondly remembered hulk tossing Loki around like a rag doll that one time, pulling up your skirt slightly as you loved to be a hoe for Steve. You liked to hang out up here when you were trying to get some thinking done, often joined by Steve, so you assumed he was waiting for you here. Just as you had thought, as you walked to the balcony you saw Steve standing there waiting for you. You smiled at him as you walked outside into the warm summer air, eyes widening at the trail of lit candles illuminating the night.

‘What’s all this baby?’ you asked as he took your hand like the gentleman he is and kissed it tenderly. ‘I missed you y/n. So, I got you a little something I think you might like to apologise for my absence’ he replied. Oh my how you loved this man. He held out a small box, around the size of your open palm, and placed it nervously in your hand. You tugged on the satin ribbon which held it closed, and pulled of the lid excitedly. Your jaw dropped all the way to the ground. ‘I didn’t know if you’d like it because I know you have an acquired taste but I thought this would be nice and...’ Steve began to explain but you lept into his arms and kissed him hungrily, his hands going immediately to your waist and pulling you in close.

You pulled away to hurriedly take out your new toy. It was a small pocket knife, the hilt made out of a rose coloured crystal, the golden blade engraved with intricate roses. You twirled it around in your fingers expertly before tucking it away in your thigh sheaf, that looked more like a lace garter then something to hold a deadly weapon. You looked up at Steve who looked utterly entranced by your magic fingers, noticing the hard on that was developing quickly in his tight pants. Steve scooped you up smoothly, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist, placing one hand on your bum for support and the other on your neck, pulling you in for a deep sultry kiss. He slipped his tongue expertly into your mouth as he carried you back inside into the elevator, pressing the button for your floor without breaking the kiss even for a second.

You were devouring eachother desperately, missing each others touch after spending a long week away from eachother. You had already discarded your top and skirt, with Steve’s shirt flung on the floor in the elevator when the doors opened. ‘Oh my...fuck sorry shit I should have expected this I just needed to ask you...fuck’ you heard a voice shout in alarm from the direction of your couch. Steve let you down quickly in shock and your hand jumped over your mouth in suprise.

Your brain was whirring at 60 miles an hour. You had your beloved boyfriend, half naked behind you, and Bucky was sitting upright on your couch shirtless with his oh so tight training pants. The thoughts you were having early were filling your mind. You bit your lip in deep thought. ‘Y/n?’ Steve asked as he gently lay a hand on your arm, sending electric waves down your spine. Steve noticed the mischievous look in your eye and raised his eyebrow in question. ‘You want Bucky to fuck you? If you want you can I don’t really mind just watching you. It might be kinda hot and-‘ Steve began as you shook your head, hearing a small high pitched ‘what’ escape Bucky’s mouth. ‘Not exactly Stevie’ you replied. You slid over to Bucky, walking over to the couch and pulling him up by his god damn metal arm as Steve trailed behind you. You leaned in to kiss Bucky quickly, gently teasing his lips with your tongue before pulling away to watch his face contort from a confused look to one of lustful intrigue. You then turned to Steve, looking between the two boys and stepping back.

As Bucky and Steve realised what you wanted them to do, Bucky’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ as he looked between the pair of you, pink crawling up his cheeks. ‘Wait y/n...what do you...you want us to...’ he stuttered shyly before Steve stepped right infront of Bucky, cupping his face gently . Steve gave a questioning look towards you as you nodded hurriedly. ‘Just shut up and kiss him’ you smirked, falling back onto the couch to watch the show.

Steve caught Bucky in a gentle, loving kiss, as Bucky’s body melted into Steve. His hands quickly found Steve’s shoulders, as the two insanely attractive men slid their tongues into each other’s mouths. As the kiss became heated, Bucky moaned oh so pornographically when Steve dragged his strong hand over his hard cock. You bit your lip watching the two men, feeling tiny butterflies go wild down below. This was everything you had ever dreamed off.

Just as you had spread your legs comfortably, closing your eyes to begin rubbing your swollen clit with the obscene noises of the boys echoing in your ears, you thought you heard a weird whispering but continued doing your thing. But you felt a hand grab your wrist and your eyes fluttered open in suprise. ‘What are you...’ you asked as Bucky pulled your hand out of your pants and picked you up, swinging you over his shoulder to your delight. ‘Let us take care of that for you’ your boyfriend grinned as he smacked your ass hard, causing you to yelp from the sudden sting. ‘We’re gonna make you feel so good, doll’ Bucky whispered as Steve lead the way to your bedroom. Did he just call you doll? What the fuck is happening. This is going to be a long night.

[nikkashidashipper]

im on the runaway bride now, watching it for the first time and i went on here to make a joke about the doctor dissociating at the party but yeah he. he actually is going thru it at the party. good christ poor man

[wishfullyeternal]

Remus Lupin- Changes in Blood

Remus Lupin- Changes in Blood

Words- 1274

Warnings- Graphic Descriptions of Gore, Violence, Self Harm, Neglect

*If you are suffering from anything of the above please exercise caution when reading this*

Holding Harry, trying desperately not to let him go, watching his best friend die, right in front of him.

Remus shouldn't be surprised, he's seen many people die right in front of him. It's the same every time, the single second of bliss before they turn into a shell of themselves, their souls already departed for the afterlife. He found comfort in their deaths, pondering their afterlife and how they would spend it. Randomly he would find himself imagining Sirius as his infamous dog form, running through the forbidden forest without a single care in the world.

He remembered so much, many call it a blessing but most of the time it was a curse to him. He remembered the pain of turning before Snape's potions, he remembers the crying and fights of his parents, deciding what to do with him for that month. One time he was locked in his room, another locked in the basement. One time he was even locked in a dog cage. That was the worst one, so many cuts were strewn upon his body and most of them left tangible scars that he would rub his fingers against, an agonizing memory following suit.

"Get in the cage Remus, it will help keep you safe" Remus couldn't understand, he was only seven. He hated himself and hated the pain that came with turning, the ways his bones would snap and form into lanky and horrible grotesque features. Fur began to cover his body, concealing his new scars for once, yet bringing a whole new host of problems. He was becoming feral, wanting the taste of blood in his mouth, and stopping at nothing to incite violence. He was a monster in his eyes, and everyone elses'. He wasn't someone plagued by a disease, he wasn't human, he was only a monster, and only a monster he would stay. The cage wasn't abnormally small and housed him quite comfortably if he were to curl up, much like a large dog, perhaps a Doberman, or a German Shepard. However, once he changed, it was a completely different story. His parents left him downstairs in the basement, leaving him in a corner to scream and cry.

"Mommy! Daddy! It hurts so bad! Please, please come back..." He kept saying things to try and comfort himself, knowing that nothing would come of it. Yet when he screamed for the last time before he turned, he couldn't help but feel anger and resentment towards his parents. In his adult life, he knew what they did was wrong, but he was just a kid. He was only five feet tall and hadn't even grown hair on his face.

His bones were beginning to stretch and twirl into places that they were never supposed to go. Fur beginning to cover his body, sprouting like grass on a rainy spring day. He was sweating from the energy taken to become this monster, and gasped at the teeth that began to grow, overtaking his canines and making them double the length, digging into the flesh of his gums and causing him to wince in pain. Claws began to form at his fingertips, and his eyes were pinned, his pupils the size of the head of a needle. They were a stark yellow, much different from the warm light brown they were before. He couldn't think straight and was pummeled with thoughts of blood and clawing at flesh. Wanting to feel the stringy muscles between his claws and seeing blood cover his hands. Wanting to feel the veins beneath his fingers, and struggling to contain the bloodlust that consumed him. He wanted to feel the warmness, the tackiness, and stickiness of the blood. He yearned for the metallic tang the air had when blood was shed, and couldn't help but put a sharp claw to his arm, lightly scratching it and watching tiny droplets form at the cut. He put his finger to the cut and wiped the blood onto his fingertips, watching as the blood traveled through the tiny grooves that made his fingerprint. He smeared it across his other finger and yearned for more.

"Fuck," He whispered, a new word that he accidentally had learned from his parents, pulling at his new fur. A headache began to ring through his head, constantly banging with the beat of his heart. The way the pain would radiate slowly, starting with the beginning of the beat, peaking, and then slowly decaying at the start of the next beat. Never-ending and never more painful than turning, yet it still managed to bring him to scratch at his face, desperately wanting to distract himself from the pain, even if it meant giving himself more pain. He had accidentally scratched too hard, and blood began to ooze from the wound, flowing through the wrinkles in his skin, and ending up down his neck and staining his already stretched shirt.

My birthday is March 10th

I am seven

I like books and candy

I like chocolate frogs and love my Mommy and my Daddy

He said this to himself over and over again, rocking back and forth, and wiping the blood off his face.

He's now thirty-six, and still has the scar from that night. Barely visible, faded through the years, and covered by a couple of other deeper scars in the same area, both from different changes. Every night, he holds a stillness in his heart that will never move. He watched the moon rise and fall in the sky, illuminating the soft glow of starkly off-grey concrete that covered the outside of 12 Grimmauld Place. His breath is uneasy, and he can almost taste the tension he created in himself, because he knows he's going to turn soon, the full moon almost upon him in a few day's time. Yet he didn't take the potion, and he didn't restrain himself. Remus Lupin simply stayed, sat down onto the creased leather couch, running his hand through his hair, and lightly tracing the scars across his body, a nervous habit he picked up.

Remus Lupin misses Sirius Black.

Remus Lupin doesn't take the potion because he knows that his mind would be filled with memories of Sirius, of Padfoot.

Remus remembers how distinct Sirius's footprints were as a dog. Toes slightly turned out, claws lightly dragging onto the ground, and the print of his paw, Remus memorized the look of his pawprint.

Remus doesn't take the potion because thinking of blood and violence is so much better than thinking of Padfoot.

Watching the scene replay again and again in his head, the rolling back of his beloved friend's eyes as he passes into the veil.

Remus didn't get to say goodbye, he was holding James back.

No, not James, Harry...

Remus regularly made that mistake, especially when he was Harry's professor.

Yet here he was, crying silently at the idea that he could never tell Padfoot that he loved him, that he was in love with him. Making sure to inflict pain upon himself because god that is so much better than thinking about him.

Remus couldn't even look at dogs anymore, and one time, far after the death of Sirius, Harry and Remus were speaking. In the background, a dog barked and for the slightest second Remus perked up, pondering the idea that his old friend may not be dead. His eyebrows raised and eyes wide, looking widely for the source of the sound.

He would end up looking at the ground for the rest of the conversation. Until he found somewhere he could be alone and ponder the thought of his friend.

[youremyonlyhope]

Holy Musical B@man

I told myself last week to make sure that I rewatch HMB for the 10th anniversary, and I nearly forgot. Mostly because I forgot what day it was.

But today (yesterday) is the 10th anniversary of Holy Musical B@man being posted on YouTube! Yay!

Like I did with MAMD, I’m going to try not to pause every 5 seconds, but inevitably I will end up doing it anyway. (Spoiler alert, I did)

I call this “Hope Freaks Out Over Puns and Costumes for 5000 Words and Comes Up With a Conspiracy Theory about Denise’s Character(s).”

Our first image of Jeff in a StarKid show is him maniacally laughing. Sounds about right. The underwear. I can’t. June Saito, my girl, these are still some of the funnest costumes StarKid has ever done. Oh and Chris Allen! Nico! Oh Jim Povolo my beloved. “There ain’t no such thing as a Bat” You sure about that? “Well it’s a good thing I brought... my racket.” I’M DEAD. The prop comedy in this show. This was just a taste of what’s to come. “Oh my fucking tibia!” Guys I swore I wouldn’t pause every 5 seconds but I can’t not do it. “Support your families like the rest of us. Be born billionaires.” God these lines. Nick(cholas Joseph) Strauss(-Matathia) and Lauren! The way Nick says “fear” like “fair” I’m dead. “And then it’s signed ‘Bruce Wayne’... but then that’s crossed out and underneath it’s written... Batman!” Guys. Guys. This show. Is so funny. AHH BRIAN AS CLARK KENT IN THE BACKGROUND. Love love love. I’m not the biggest DC person, I always say that my DC knowledge comes from the OG Teen Titans and Justice League over 15 years ago. But even I clocked Brian as Clark immediately, and I was so excited. “Does he want fruit or blood?” I swear, StarKid is just casually throwing in some of the most hilarious jokes in the first 10 minutes. The plane!! “Rata tat tat” I can’t. Raise your hand if you only know where your patellar tendons are because of HMB. *Raises hand.* “God’s not up here. Only. Batman!” GUYS. I’m gonna die of laughter before this show finishes. Oh that poor Shop Owner. “Batman? Rabble rabble rabble.” No I totally didn’t just go “rabble rabble rabble” with them... why would you think that... The fact that it’s taken me until now to mention Dylan’s voice in this post is disgraceful. But oh my god Dylan’s voice. So perfect for this opening and so perfect in general. Woah. I NEVER noticed that everyone is just sitting on the back platform nodding their heads to the music while Denise and Jim have their pizza scene. “I wonder if Bruce Wayne knows that Batman lives under his house.” Seriously, why did I never notice the entire cast was just sitting there until 10 years later. “‘Love Batman.’” “Love Batman.” Ok but was any of what he said about the system wrong? I don’t think I ever noticed that Batman is dancing with the rest of the cast. I guess I assume he just loomed in angst above them. Julia’s voiceover while everyone is dancing and singing the final chorus, announcing that the Joker is dead, is so dramatic and amazing.

God. The way they set up Batman’s entire backstory, set the stage for Gotham City and its many issues, and essentially told the audience “Look, the Joker’s not gonna be here, so don’t even ask. He’s dead. Bye bye.” all in an amazing 10 minute song that shows off Dylan’s beautiful voice? Incredible. Possibly the best opening of any StarKid show. Dare I say better than Back to Hogwarts? Honestly, I think it is.

"The city’s crime rates are at an all time low!” “Yay!” *everyone pulls out a gun to shoot at the sky* “Yup. Still the highest in the world but we’re working on it.” Amazing. “Hahaha. Striking terror. Best part of the job.” Bruce why. The synchronized movements, and Denise doing them all with a pizza box strapped to her hand. I’m dead. Wait didn’t that Shop Owner die? “It’s - Captain Marvel!” I want Nico to know, that when I watched Endgame and Captain Marvel came swooping in during the final Thanos battle, that Nico’s voice saying “It’s Captain Marvel!” was the only thing that went through my mind. I am not even remotely joking. I wanted to make a post about it but couldn’t find a good enough gif of him saying it so I never did. But I really wanted to. “Hey guys, it’s Captain Marvel all the way from Metropolis” “It’s Superman” “It’s Captain Marvel!” That joke deserved more laughs. “Oh no. Are my limitless powers about to run out?... 😏 No!” I’m dead. “Hey I caught the Riddler, you were looking for this guy right?” I’m dying. The way Batman walks in all slumped, then does the flourish of the cape, is great. “Now, when I wrote Huckleberry Finn...” I knew the Commissioner said something insane before the fade out. I did not remember that. Batman putting the glasses on Superman. I can’t. The fact that the citizens of Gotham were willing to shoot Superman over an insult is insane.

"It’s your father’s plane. And it’s all that’s left of him.” His father had a bat shaped plane? “Ah now there’s a good idea. Spiderman could use a good plane.” Amazing. Love the foreshadowing. “...I have a confession to make, sir.” That deserved a bigger laugh. “Turn around. The other way.” Ok wait. Is Lucius Fox being Alfred actually canon... I don’t know who Lucius Fox is, soooo, off to google! OKAY NO THE ANSWER TO THAT IS NO. Lucius Fox is Black. But in some storylines he does sort of replace Alfred. So I see where StarKid got this from, but eek feels a bit weird to me. (Can you tell I really do have only the bare minimum of DC knowledge?) “I buy you new clothes!” Amazing. [Batman sobbing... again] StarKid captions are so great. “You got my hopes up so high, and then you mugged and shot them in an alleyway.” God. I used to use that line all the time. I should start using it again. “The cave is a mess!” The dramatics. I have not yet seen the Rpattz Batman movie, but I fully imagine this is how exactly he acts. “You know, before the war, your father used these tunnels to help build the underground railroad.” Ok wait. Wait. WHAT war? And do they mean a railroad that’s underground, or the Underground Railroad? I am confusion. “And I swore I protect you - and I haven’t.” Dying. “And make bloody certain that you’d never see another dark, sad, lonely night.” The sentiment behind that line makes me actually emotional. Alfred really cares about him. “I never had a pony.” Iconic.  THE BAT DANCERS. I remembered them a second before they came onstage. Ok you can REALLY tell that Lauren and Denise are the dancers, because they reacted sadly to the “peanuts and shellfish” line since they’re more used to conveying the emotions of the music, while Meredith and Jaime kept pleasant smiles on their faces. I love the way Joe mimes driving the friendship ship. God the joy I had the first time Dylan came out as Green Lantern. I knew very few DC superheroes, but Green Lantern was always a favorite. And the first time I watched the show I was like “Who’s singing with Lauren?” I honestly can’t remember if I immediately figured out it was Jeff, or if it took until everyone else was onstage and accounted for for me to realize it was him. I ADORE the way Jeff walks onstage for that part though. So much swagger. The low “Somebody. Somebody.” line is my favorite. Mostly because of Jim. “Somebody anybody everybody be a buddy.” So great. And then just the trio. Then just Batman. GOD that’s such a good song. WAIT THIS IS 1997? BUT THEY HAVE IPHONES? Did I just NEVER notice that or did I forget? “Save it for a rainy day, I will.” I can’t. That kick jump though.

“All night long I’m busy partying with my friends at the Fortress... of Solitude.” Seriously this show is too funny. Green Lantern comes in singing “I wanna beeeee” so was he singing Dark Sad Lonely Night or was he singing I Wanna Be from Starship? I know the answer but let’s pretend it’s a cute reference to another musical. But also, he’d be singing an in-universe song... which would mean that every song they sing is sung out loud and not just imaginary... I’ve overthinking again. NICK COMING IN SINGING SINGLE LADIES. Oh my god and the zipper. I can’t. “Yoink.” I’m dying. Nick kills me every show. This takes place in 1997, but Twitter’s around... ok then. “Wait. You know my secret identity?” “It’s a secret?” I laughed so hard. The way Dylan laughed at the 2 dollar bill joke was so cute. “It’s like, have you ever heard of Mr. Mxyzptlk?” “No.” “No... That’s right. Cause I do my damn job.” That scene has been gif’d and went decently viral on Tumblr over these last 10 years. It kills me every time. “My ring is ringing.” Underrated line. I love the attention to detail that it’s Meredith’s voice for Wonder Woman.

Yesssss here we go. The most iconic villain song ever! The costumes. June my girl. Amazing. I love that Jim just doesn’t even participate in the dance break. And the way Denise modifies some dance moves to be more cat-like! So good! Nick also waddles like a penguin! Yes! “I’ll weed out any wussy.” “I’m a pretty little kitty but I ain’t no-” The BEST line. The PUNS. Every other word is a pun. The way the “I thought I saw a putty-tat” works as both a cat and bird pun! “I’m sure you’ve all be reading my... tweets.” Amazing.

CONSPIRACY THEORY TIME. Nick and Matt allowed Twitter to be a thing in this show despite the 1997 setting, PURELY so they could make that one Penguin joke. I’m ready to assume that’s the reason. I do not hold it against them. It’s a good joke.

"I second that!” I laughed so hard. “Snow way.” “Leaf!” Incredible. I just rewatched this scene because of 2/22/22 so it’s very fresh, yet I’m still dying. The way you can see Jeff walk backstage to his entrance. “Get your broke ass out of here, Two-Face.” HOW DID I FORGET THAT LINE? Sweet Tooth! Here we go. The moment Jeff stole all of our hearts. Or at least stole mine.  “Well well well, looks like you guys are up to your old... Twix.” Iconic. Also Jim’s shoe is untied. Oh 100 Grand bars. It’s been 9 years since I developed my chocolate allergy, and honestly, 100 Grand bars are the only chocolate bars I still miss to this day. Chilly Willy! God all the debates over who was under the Chilly Willy suit. I forget when it was finally confirmed to be Joe. But looking at him, from the way he holds himself I don’t know why I didn’t always know it was Joe. The way Chilly Willy says “three!” just after Sweet Tooth, almost excited to know the answer. I’m dead. Chilly Willy twitching on the ground. I can’t. Ok my OCD cannot handle Denise putting the lollipop in her mouth after Jeff had his hands all over the candy part. Nope nope nope. That specific part has made me anxious for 10 years. But I know Denise liked that joke though since she got a new flavor of lollipop every show. “Now quit your Snickering, you AirHeads.” Oh my god. The costume design plus the prop work plus the writing all coming together to create this amazing character. I can’t. Speaking of the costume. I LOVE the shade of aqua they use for Sweet Tooth’s vest and handkerchief. They actually both have a very nice subtle paisley-like design to it. Love love love. Also the peppermint striped tie. June Saito. You really just went above and beyond for this show. Lauren’s crown is literally so big it’s covering her eyes. You can see Brian backstage getting ready for his entrance while Nico’s doing his Sherlock Holmes bit.

Ok I have QUESTIONS. What does the Commissioner think of evil Huckleberry Finn if HE is the one who wrote the book? Either the book is public domain and Commissioner Gordon is a billion years old, OR Evil Huckleberry Finn is committing copyright infringement. Honestly though, adding copyright infringement onto whatever other crimes he’s committing would be really funny...

“The battle can begin, OOOH” The way he goes “OOOH” is so great. Evil Mother Goose. The best. Brian’s laughter as Huck Finn. “Rogues are we.” “HONK!” The BEST villain song ever. Not even just StarKid. I mean for all of musical theatre history. The number of times I’ve rewatched Rogues Are We and the Reprise over the years is insane. It’s been years since I last watched HMB in full, but I come back to Rogues Are We all the time. And the Apocalyptour and other live performance version of Rogues Medley are AMAZING too. So great.

10 years ago, 16 year old Hope finished this part, and had already decided that Jeff had soared towards the top of her favorite StarKids list. Just one song did it. He’s that amazing.

Joe’s face when he peaks back out around the door. I can’t. “Batman loves the circus.” Yay Nick Lang! I know he was in the opening but still. “Or a clown at least. I miss the Joker.” I laughed so hard just now. “I’m Bruce-Man - I mean. I’m Bat-Wayne. Fuck!” Literally the funniest thing. “Dazzling!” Of all the adjectives to pick. “A juice box. And make it a Motts, goddammit.” I completely forgot that line. “The floorboards are warped with tears of sorrow.” Oh my god that’s so sad. “May I be frank with you?” “Well sure, Frank, if you prefer it to Dick.” “I’m just your average... run of the mill... down on his luck... billionaire.” Awww in the background you start to softly hear Dynamic Duet as Bruce gets ready to reveal he’s Batman to Dick. “It was the man behind the bat symbol, and in front of the cape.” “.........Me?” “I’m a little poopy pants.” “Yes I would like that.” Adorable. Nick plays such a convincing little boy. “You must take on the guise of what you fear most to scare... them.... yeahhhhh.” That face journey though. “I think that Batman works well because I’m a HUGE BAT, but I’m a tiny pterodactyl.” Honestly, good point. And I completely forgot that line. The tear-away suit reveal! So good! “Tonight will be a night-” “Of dancing!” “Uhh... YEAAHHHH.” That was such a cute scene.

Also I need to check if a specific tumblr account still exists... I’ll be shocked if it does. Ok maybe this was a fever dream but I am like 95% sure there was a tumblr account called Nick Lang’s Legs because of his costume in HMB, but I can’t find it. It either was deleted or it never existed at all, but I’m pretty sure it was a thing. I did find a twitter account though. I wonder if I knew the person and I just can’t remember who they were now since it’s been 10 years....

Jim’s walking stiffer as Matches out of the hospital. Great detail. AHHH I FORGOT ABOUT EGGHEAD. “Egg-cellent” I’M DYING. “SCRAMBLE.” The dead bodies snapping. I remembered that a minute before it happened. “Look Batman, a dog!” “Quick Robin! Pet it.” Oh my god. 10 years later. I FINALLY understand why StarKid picked TGI Fridays as the establishment that Calendar man robs. I guess I thought they just wanted to pick something random. But no. Calendar joke. That went over my teenage head apparently. “Calendar man your days are, numbered.” “Hee hee hee hee hee.” I’m dying. “Thank you Batman” *Batman punches her too.* HELP I laughed way too hard at that. I feel like a gif of Robin and Batman dancing the night away is really widespread. But I don’t know for sure. I just know I’ve seen that particular little moment MANY times over the years. Maybe it was in a fan-edit... Shoot I got so distracted by the dead bodies moving their arms that I missed Batman lifting Robin. Had to rewind that. Sorry I love the way Joe says Robin at the “Batman?” “Robin.” part. HUMMINGBIRD-OSTRICH-HYBRID-MURDER-BIRDS??!?! Robin tip-toeing and flapping around. I’m dead. The Penguin’s vest also has a very nice subtle pattern to it. The Penguin’s bloodcurdling scream. Amazing. I cannot handle it. “You sure got me out of a - birdcage.” The disappointment in his face at making the bad pun. “No Robin DOOOOOON’T eat those.” He stuffed it in his underwear oh my god I forgot that. “Lifelong friend.” “No...” *gasp* “Life... partner!” I forgot that part. “Buddies, bros, homies, amigos.” “Pizza.” “Nintendo.” “Woo woo woo let’s go!” I will never forget that part. Yesssss the kicks. I’VE NEVER NOTICED THE LOOK OF DISGUST ON SWEET TOOTH’S FACE WHEN EVERYONE’S GROUP HUGGING BATMAN AND ROBIN.

Ok I’ve made the executive decision to stop here for the night since it’s almost 2am and I don’t want to mess up my sleep schedule TOO much. I’ll watch Act 2 tomorrow.

OK ACT 2 TIME.

“Robin sucks!” No he doesn’t! “It’s like, don’t do that.” I think of that line pretty often. “Where’s the kid’s pants?” AN UNDERRATED LINE THAT DESERVED MORE LAUGHS. Oh hi Specs. “So say we all, Excelsior.” But Stan Lee is Marvel not DC. Also, Jim’s wearing a “I believe in Harvey Dent” shirt and I am extra confusion. That’s Two Face right? I saw all of half of Dark Knight over a decade ago, but that’s literally Two Face on Jim’s shirt. Also did Jim get that mohawk haircut for the show? It fits perfectly with the comic aesthetic. Batman’s voicemail message cutting him off as he messes up the name again. I’m DEAD. HEY SUPERMAN. I REMEMBER KRYPTO. I APPRECIATE KRYPTO. Add Krypto’s show to my limited knowledge of DC along with Teen Titans and Justice League. “And that was kind of strike 3 for Krypto” awww and the sad music. Oh my god I forgot how bad this Krypto speech is. He ran away? My childhood is ruined. “Me and... Solomon Grundy.” I forgot how sad this is. Nick Strauss’ face I can’t. I love that Robin holds Jim’s hand for so long, and then the look on Jim’s face when he finally lets go. Lauren taking off her pants oh my god.  “He has to go to the hospital so he can go to jail!” “That my tum-tum wouldn’t hurt no more.” Nico’s killing me. Pop rocks and coke oh no! Sorry. Gotta take a moment to appreciate the costumes some more. The M&M zoom in shows that Sweet Tooth has peppermints for buttons. I forgot about those. Oh my god. Genius. “Aren’t you a Smartie?” “Oh I like these!” Me too. Fave candy. “My Almond Joy Wonder.” “Oh. I don’t like these.” I used to LOVE Almond Joys. Coconut is great. Everyone else is just weak. Right as I was thinking “What does Dylan’s shirt say? Does it say Bob?” Sweet Tooth says “Gob, stop her.” AMAZING. SO AMAZING. ALL FOR A PUN.\ And the Bazooka Joe joke, which is much more subtle. Too bad they didn’t have any Bazooka gum. Candy and her INCREDIBLE dress. I will never EVER be over this costume. And the wig! SO GOOD. SOOOO GOOD. “And he’s my Sweetart.” Love. Also love her two-toned lipstick. The whiplash from the “Now or Later” “Chiclet” “Take 5″ “Dove” puns coming all at once. THE WAY JIM PICKS UP NICK. I AM STILL SO IMPRESSED. HOW DOES NICK EVEN GET DOWN BACKSTAGE FROM THAT POSITION. Candy’s shoes! And her laugh! I hope Jaime knows she has the best costume in StarKid history and that she herself is amazing. I hope June knows she made the best costume ever.

I forgot the letter from Spiderman! “I don’t have any place to... stick it.” Amazing. “I follow you on the web.” I’m dying. “That I gave an A plus.... plus plus plus plus *Kissing noises*” Adorable. Shoutout to the props again for making a ROBIN SUCKS headline. “Well when you put it that way, you can’t blame them. I mean almost everything is stupid.” “WHATTT.” “Don’t bother, I’ll have them burned.” Harsh. Oh and here we go. The one true downside to this musical. God I wish they could just cut Kwan Lee out of this completely. And it sucks that the best “Bay-Wayne/Bruce-Man/Batmannnnnn” line comes from this scene. Wait it’s New Year’s Eve? “What am I thinking? I’m such a boob!” “Who can take the sunrise, ah! And sprinkle it with BLOOD.” I love the song Candyman, so I love that little joke so much. “And Two Face.” I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. The use of Whatchamacallit is amazing. The way Jeff can go from zany saying “Do I implode your heads” to being so serious and scary for “or put a bullet in the Boy Wonder’s?” Sweet Tooth’s face as Two Face pops back in. Holy quick change Batman! Nah but seriously super quick change from Two Face back to... I’m just gonna say Alfred. I’m not gonna acknowledge his other character anymore. The boop is so cute. THE PUNCH. I DIED. I FORGOT THAT UNTIL A SECOND BEFORE. WHAT WAR? YOU KEEP MENTIONING A WAR, ALFRED. “She was a double agent, but she forgot. She didn’t know who she was working for.” Underrated joke. “I know what I have to do. Fuck Gotham, I’m saving Robin!” I forgot that that was the verdict.

I love that so many comments point out that Two Face’s second appearance is in Act 2 part 2.

Also, special shoutout to the person who said the reason Alfred is so good at disguises is because Duder’s a Spy.

The tension between Construction Guy and Pizza Girl though. “You guys better get on Twitter.” OH MY GOD. The way Batman  turns the phone sideways to type on the larger keyboard. That’s such a 2013 detail. Now the phones are so big that typing vertical is more comfortable than horizontal. But back in 2013, we had only just stopped using Sidekicks and EnVs with the horizontal keyboards. Nick Strauss’s “I DON’T KNOW” scream. Amazing. Nick Lang as Obama. I nearly forgot about that. “You got a phone call, motha-fucka.” That was literally my ring tone until like... ok I wanna say 2019 but the thing is that my phone’s always on silent, so even though it was my ringtone I rarely ever actually had the sound on to hear it. Actually it might still be my ringtone... did I ever change the settings... I assume I did for my newest phone... And I did it the old fashioned way. I recorded the audio on my phone then set it to the ringtone. Superman’s disappointment at getting a call from Obama instead of Batman. Amazing. “Any means necessary, Superman.” Wow this got dark quickly. I love Superman’s verse. Lupin can sing. I LOVE watching Nick Strauss dance in this. He really commits. It’s great. “And in America I do what I like.” Yep. Ok Sweet Tooth’s verse is my absolute favorite. And he does the same “OOOh” that he did for the Rogues are We reprise. So great. Also I love the way he tilts side to side when we have the front view camera. He looks like an actual cartoon in that moment. Love love love. The way Meredith says “We’re all just pawns in a fucking game of chess” on the recording is amazing. They’re so aggressive while singing it. I was listening to the soundtrack earlier today and it’s so great. Also something I thought of while listening to the soundtrack is that I realized I probably thought the way Jeff sang was a character choice, and now 10 years and... 6(?) musicals later I know that that’s just Jeff being Jeff. “A briefcase filled with 2 dollar bills!” Iconic. “That’s the American, not quite Canadian, most of us are Mexican!” Amazing.

The way Nick says “smithereens” is amazing. “But you can do that for free anytime you like.” Amazing. And I never noticed that Robin hands Sweet Tooth back the Good and Plenty box that he will throw at Candy. Was that purposeful or did Jeff hand it to Nick by accident and Nick slyly handed it back to him in time for the cue? “Wait Batman’s got a plane? Where’d he get a plane?” Sweet Tooth you just said you had Rogues on the roof, were they not there to be prepared for a sky attack? I guess he thought he’d climb to the roof, not land on it. “What are these little... Dots?” THE DOTS JOKE. God it love Dots. “I’LL NEVER WALK EVIL WATSON DOWN THE AISLE” JOHNLOCK IS CANON IN THE STARTKID UNIVERSE. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS. IT’S CANON. “Aw fudge it’s Batman.” “Run for your nine lives.” I think I missed the fudge pun originally. Also I love how the two women ended up unscathed and only the guys got injured. (Jim is nonbinary but Bazooka Joe’s a guy) That’s the second time this show that Batman has punched an innocent Meredith character. OK WAIT. Wait. Jim is the one holding Brian right? But xe JUST went offstage. Wow that’s a quick change. I guess just pulling on black sweatpants over leggings and switching out the leather coat and wig for a hoodie is easy, but still. Impressive. That was about 40 seconds. “Or should I say, Butthead?” “*ungodly high pitched screaming*” I can’t. The body rolls and hip thrusts in this song. Katie Spelman thank you for your choreography. Batman kicking Superman and then cradling his own leg while Superman is unfazed, love it. THE DUMMY. The lighting change for “how about some Kryptonite tonight” is epic. Yes Sarah Petty. She said in the Homecoming documentary that HMB had her favorite lighting and I agree. The look on Brian’s face after he gets punched but still singing “fuck you” is so amazing. Knowing that Brian got cut on the face by a Kryptonite punch at the one of the performances makes this funnier to me.

GOD that is such a good fight scene. They did Batman Vs. Superman so much better than the movie (I say as if I bothered to watch that movie). And the Kryptonite prop and the lighting?! So good.

Plus the fight choreo and just normal choreo is such fanservice. Katie Spelman knew what she was doing.

Jeff running with Robin I can’t. “I’ve never run so fast in my life.” “That vat of melted chocolate” Comedy comes in threes. Batman says “Grayson dive!” I never noticed until I read the captions just now. He learned from Robin! That’s actually so sweet. That one arm lift from Joe though. The slap fight oh my god. “OH you’re not coming any closer!” THE CRUNCH BAR. How did Batman know that it was there? “Gimme a break!” “See if the snozberries taste of snozberries.” I love that line. “I am falling into THAT vat of boiling hot chocolate.” Ok comedy comes in fives actually. Water shots! Nick’s little excited dance I can’t. For a second I forgot the Commissioner Gordon dies in the original timeline. The Construction Guy turning the hat around to become Pizza Girl’s son... the son she has with the Shop Owner... feels strange...

Wait. So was she cheating on the Shop Owner with the Construction Guy? Is her son not the Shop Owner’s but instead the illegitimate son of the Construction Guy and that’s why he’s the spitting image of him? Is Pizza Girl the Shop Owner’s wife Belinda?? Am I uncovering some deep StarKid lore?

The way they say “peeeople who belieeeve in good.” “...Spiderman’s an orphan.” Love it. “All the X-Men!” “You got x-ray vision! You can see girls’ totties whenever you want!” I mean, I sure hope not. “But those people are pretentious douchebags.” Calling out a chunk of the DC fandom I bet. That whole “Superheroes are cool! Helping people, is cool.” Speech is so heartfelt. I love it so much. StarKid really loves to have their shows be 95% comedy and then throw in emotional moments like that. Yesss Jim with the floating cape effects. Commissioner Gordon and the Cop reversing the motions of their deaths. Hamilton stole Satisfied’s rewind staging from Holy Musical B@man. HA when Brian had the prop facing the wrong way and we saw the cardboard branding. I can’t. “Well, goodbye!” “Good luck Superman!” “Hey! Captain Marvel!” Nico, Nico, Nico. I really think of him every single time Captain Marvel does anything. JAIME’S SUNGLASSES. SO CUTE. JUNE AND YOUR DETAILS.

"And thats, why they call me Superman!” Yes it is! “I just followed you home after the first day we met.” I forgot about that. And Robin taking off his mask to say “I’m Dick Grayson” is so cute. “I didn’t save Gotham. In fact I very nearly led you all to your doom.” Just a minor teeny tiny mistake. “Three cheers for Captain Marvel!” Best running joke of the show. “We’d be like a league, for justice.” Yes. “I have the perfect name. The Super Friends.” Yes good. Spidey coming out. I’m dead. “He’s agile as hell!... Help him up!”

Super Friends. Literally the most uplifting StarKid song ever. The number of times I’ve listened to it while walking, and literally danced my way down the street is limitless. I remember spending a day in Summer of 2012 learning the choreo to this dance number and I still know it. Oh muscle memory. I WANNA BE A MODERN DANCER! I literally did not fully get that “losing my guano” was meant to substitute “losing my shit” until this year. Or maybe last year. Wait no it was last year. Either way, way too long of a time to not truly get that line. I love how the caption says “[Lauren offstage] Aaaahhhaahaahahaaaah” Also I can normally sing those notes, but at Apocalyptour I had lost my voice from all the screaming, so by the time we got to this finale I tried to sing along to her “aahhs” and sounded like a dying cat without a voice. It was not my finest moment. Someone in the crowd literally turned back and looked at me. God I’m cringing. Jim flying in as Hawkman with the “YEAHH” “SURREE” just iconic. Amazing. THEM ALL COMING OUT TOGETHER FOR THE FINAL CHORUS. AMAZING. I WAS SO ELATED THE FIRST TIME. THIS IS SO GREAT. Nico as plastic man flapping his arms around! Yesss Dylan. Jaime’s little Flash pose before running to the back line. I can’t. Jeff doing some sort of running man move during every freestyle moment. And Nick Strauss’s dancing just before the button of the song. I can’t. I love that Meredith is the only one in boxers. I assume it’s because Wonder Woman’s normally in briefs already so June wanted to switch it up a little bit. I appreciate it

Ok. I might have to amend what I said in Starship, and make the decision that this is my favorite StarKid musical.

It almost hurts because for 11 years I’ve said it was Starship. But Holy Musical B@man’s music, jokes, prop comedy, set, lighting, and especially the COSTUMES... I think I might love it the most.

Nick Gage was such a good find for StarKid. I remember 10 years ago we were like “A StarKid musical that’s not written by Darren, AJ, or Carlos? Hmmm...” And yet, the music was amazing and unique compared to the other shows, and the PERFECT vibe for a comic book musical. Plus they got Nick to perform in Twisted a year later and he was SO funny, so yeah. Nick Gage needs more appreciation. And Scott Lamps for his additional music too. Watching the credits and shoutout to Lana McKinnon’s hair and make-up! Wow wait. The whole band was 3 synthesizers and a drum set? That’s crazy. Shoutout to Liam White as always.

So good. So so so good.

But honestly, I cannot get over the COSTUMES. June Saito you’re so great. Using the underwear and converse along with dance unitards as a base then building up from there, so genius. The billion strategically placed pockets in Sweet Tooth’s jacket and his WIG?! HIS COTTON CANDY WIG!? I cannot handle it. Candy’s custom wig and her tutu? Her incredible TUTU!?!?! The billion costume changes everyone else had to do were so great too.

Wait, is Denise’s jacket for Black Canary also her Pizza Girl jacket? OH MY GOD I THINK IT IS. Oh my god. And her shoes and tights are Cat Woman’s! The lore just goes deeper. Black Canary goes undercover as Cat Woman (because who would suspect the Canary is the Cat), and her real secret identity is Pizza Girl. She’s married to the Shop Owner who thinks her name is Belinda, but she’s cheating on him with the Construction Guy and has an illegitimate son! No I’m definitely not overthinking this in the slightest. It’s definitely not just that costume changes and versatile costumes are used and people play multiple characters. She’s totally playing just one person in this entire musical.

Anyway. Half the budget must have been spent on the converse and the candy.

Jeff Blim. We really had NO idea the impact he’d have on StarKid. We had no clue. We were just like “oh haha another StarKid who looks kind of like Joe Walker and Chris Allen!” but no. He was amazing. He made a huge impression with his first show. A bigger impression with his next. And now has written more StarKid shows than anyone else if I remember correctly. We had no clue what we were in for when he came onstage as Sweet Tooth. StarKid history forever changed with this casting and I am SO thankful.

Yay Holy Musical B@man. 10 years. Insane. It does not feel like 10 years ago but also it does. God I’m old. I’m older than half of the StarKids were in this show. I don’t like thinking about that.

[ernmark]

Writer Tag Game

I got tagged by @sapphosewrites. Thank you! I'm a sucker for these~

If you want to do this too, just go ahead and pretend I tagged you. But also, I'm tagging @ryosei-hime, @dangersocks and @alecjmarsh because reasons.

How many works do you have on AO3?

112, though I'm very early in the process of importing my old ff.net stuff.

What's your total AO3 word count?

749,450

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Haunting, but not haunted (The Penumbra Podcast), The Issue of Omniscience (Welcome to Night Vale), Just Like an Angel (Welcome to Night Vale), The Case Files of J. Steel (The Penumbra Podcast), Skin and Scales (The Penumbra Podcast)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I'm trying to be better about it, but generally I don't. I'm just a socially awkward person, and I feel like I'm being inane when I just reply "thank you" when I have nothing more interesting to say, or when answering the question would be a spoiler for what happens next. But honestly, most of the time I have nothing more interesting to say.

But I'm a sucker for comments.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Define angsty. Because we have some categories:

Character dies and there's nothing you can do about it (angsty, but in the direction of bittersweet) :

Stay with me (Wolf 359 (Radio)), For King and Country (Welcome to Night Vale), The way things end (Supernatural), Off the path (BioShock Infinite)

I've fucking given up on good things, especially you: (I think these are darker)

Hell is Cold (Supernatural), Blood Moon (10th Kingdom), Like a terrier (Sherlock (TV))

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

...I mean, if it doesn't have an angsty ending it probably has a happy one?

Most of my fics end with settling to move forward in their new circumstances. The ones that feel most hopeful in the end are also the ones that are most angsty and hopeless early on-- which is where you get some really depressing stuff like When You Wake (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine), Disconnect (The Penumbra Podcast), Fragment of Memory (The Penumbra Podcast), and the space between (is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you) (The Penumbra Podcast), Heartless (The Penumbra Podcast), Event Horizon (The Penumbra Podcast), Lost in Translation (Welcome to Night Vale). That's the thing-- I'm all about contrast.

Do you write crossovers? If so, What is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

In the most vain and self-indulgent way possible. But they're not marked as such.

There are several characters from a book series I wrote that I have play with the characters in fanfic. I tend to change their names and scrape off any identifying information. You can find two of those characters repeated in Dragons Love Things That Shine (The Penumbra Podcast) and Our Wall Against The Dark (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine), but the craziest iteration of that would be my attempt at a choose-your-own-adventure: Peter Nureyev and the Blue Persephone. In that one I changed the names and... pretty much nothing else.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Only ever on ff.net, and that was a long, long time ago. I've been pretty lucky in that regard.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

AO3 seems to be under the impression that I've only got 17 smut fics, which... doesn't sound right? Probably because the overwhelming majority of them are hidden away in one-shot compilations.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think it's happened once or twice, but never in a personal way-- just one of those site-aggregator bots that grab a few thousand fics in one go.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I recall, but my memory is crap.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I once tried to do a 9/Labyrinth crossover with a friend, but that turned out less successfully than intended. I also wrote a bunch of back-and-forth with @dangersocks.

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

That changes entirely depending on what fandom I'm in at a given moment. What really sets off my heart-eyes is devotion, though: that willingness to go to the ends of the earth ensure your beloved's happiness whether or not they can return or even are aware of your love.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The Blue Persephone (TPP) is probably never going to be finished, which is frustrating because I have an ending very clear in my head. It's just that it's a choose-your-own-adventure, and that requires more than one.

I kind of wrote my way into a corner with Shadows of Azoth (WTNV) and I have been mortal (Wolf 359) and The Siren (TPP) and... god, so many more.

What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm pretty good at keeping people in character, and in twisting weird AU scenarios in such a way that they stay as true to the original as I can get them.

I'm also a sucker for extended metaphors.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing things. Hard Conversations (there's a reason those tend to happen off-screen, as it were). I'm so finicky about staying in-character that I'm fairly reluctant to include characters that I'm less familiar with. And I tend to get super anxious about being too samey from one fic to the next, especially in things like turns of phrase.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I have ALL the admiration for those writers who dare to do it, but I get too stuck in my own head about things like linguistics and grammar and stuff like that, so I tend to just stick with "and they spoke to each other in French" or whatever.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I didn't publish it, but it was a Lord of the Rings portal fantasy where the Modern Girl meets one of the original elf-turned-orcs before joining the fellowship.

Turns out I liked the orc more than the rest of the fellowship, so I tried to file off the serial numbers and turn it into an original story. I was in middle school, so it went about as well as expected.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Oof.

Okay. I think The Silken Tether series for Star Trek.

Skin and Scales and Fragment of Memory for The Penumbra Podcast.

[thyra279]

First Lines Meme

Thanks for the tag, @teslatherat​!  ❤

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

This seemed like a fun thing to do, I actually found it kind of insightful!

I'm gonna tag errrh @under-a-linden-tree, @ngk-they-said, @aethelflaedladyofmercia, @elfontheshelves, @polkanote, @tawnyontumblr, @sevdrag, @aziraphale-rights, @writingordinaryrealities and @miraworos. No pressure, obviously.

1.  The Television shifted back to Houston and a little flash of light caught Aziraphale's wobbly attention.

2.   In my younger and more impressionable years my Father gave me some advice that I've been mulling over in my mind ever since.

3.  Oh, there was some rustling, some definite rustling in that undergrowth by Bobby's house, how very exciting, she really ought to investigate at once, it might just be some hoodlum looking to make trouble in her- Oh.

4.   Florence, 1618: It was almost devastatingly quiet in the room.

5.  The return trip from Edinburgh was thankfully uneventful.

6.  The old guy appeared and disappeared, reappeared and disappeared with each flicker of the streetlight above.

7.  Big, fat raindrops threw themselves on to London Liverpool Street – the station, the road of the same name, and everything in-between, including the massive redbrick Great Eastern Hotel which dominated that space.

8.  It's a fantasy, a far-off dream and he knows it, watching Aziraphale look dutifully right and left before crossing the street, taking care to avoid as many of the endless puddles and heaps of horse dung of New York as possible.

9.   Fuck fuck fuck fuck- This is, this pressure, this thing they're doing, this- it can't, it can't be this fuuuuck it can't be this good-

10.  It starts, as it will end, with a garden.

11. "It is." / "It isn't."

12.  "…I mean, I'm all in favour of chopping down some misbehaving conifers in general terms.”

13.  Our tale begins in earnest on the 10th May 1814, but if we are to start at the very beginning as conventional wisdom encourages, we must first make a swift hop back to the tail end of the previous century.

14.   Shit, shit, shit, shit, shi- The old beige door slams into the beige wall beside it, then slams back on to a startled-looking beige-ish angel and back, a little weaker this time, into the wall again.

15.   It was odd to be around so many people again.

16.   In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.

17.  “…What?” Not-quite-Crowley-Crowley stared at him, mouth agape, an expression which did Aziraphale’s poor old corporation absolutely no favours.

18.   Crowley is not the sort to get into inspirational quotes and motivational posters – in fact, they light his contrarian side on fire to the extent that he has been known to lick the walls of Hell whenever he sees those signs after particularly aggravating Hell-and-safety briefings.[1]

19.  On a warm autumn's day in 2005, Aziraphale's mobile phone rang out the same jarring electronic jingle 72 times before he managed to locate it behind an old bookcase full of A Breefe History of Northern Shropshire, vol. 1-281.

20.  We pick up the story not quite at the Beginning, but close enough for now.

I'm quite pleased with how varied these are (though I do like to start things with a time and place, or very close to the Beginning, or with Crowley swearing during, erh, emotionally charged situations, apparently). I'd have thought more started with dialogue!

My favourite opening HAS to be number 13, my beloved, hiatused Regency epic. I think I spent about four days on the beginning paragraphs of that, and I'm very proud of it.

My fics are over on Ao3 should anyone feel hugely intrigued by these lines. xD