#104 parts and i don't even know how | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

souliebird · 10 months ago

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[[and then I met you || ch. 15]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.

pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

Words: 8.1k

ao3 link

banner thanks to the wonderful @theradioactivespidergwen

The first thing you process as you begin to come to is a slow, rhythmic beeping. It is dull and low and it almost carries you right back into the nothingness. You slip in and out of the fog a few times before your mind is able to catch a hold of conciseness. Even then, it feels like everything crawls by until your thoughts go from incoherent images to actual awareness.

You feel awful - like you've been hit by a massive truck, who then backed up over you only to run you over again. Everything aches, but the worst of it is centered on the left side of your head, going down to your neck. It throbs and feels so stiff. You don't think you could move your head if you tried.

The second worst thing is how dry your mouth feels. It is as if someone stuffed you full of cotton to remove all the moisture from your body, then to make sure you were drained, dried you out under a heat lamp. It hurts to even try to swallow the little saliva your mouth is producing.

You need something to drink.

Like some sort of miracle, something cold and wet is pressed to your lips. It startles you, but you react quickly. You force your lips to part and an ice chip is slipped between them. You suck on it desperately and it only takes a second for it to melt away, but almost instantly you are given another one. This happens two more times before your mouth finally doesn't feel like a desert.

Your eyes are hard to open. They feel crusted shut and you don't know if you have the energy to try and pull them apart, but you try. It takes multiple attempts, but finally they open. Everything is far too bright and blurry.

Matt comes into focus above you, face wracked with concern. His hair is a mess and it looks like he hasn't slept in ages. His eyes, while sightless, are puffy and bloodshot and you wonder if he has been crying. Your brow knits in confusion and you try to reach for his cheeks to offer some sort of comfort. Your hand doesn't make it far off whatever you are laying on, but it doesn't matter because as soon as it is in the air, he's clasping his around yours.

He breathes out your name just as you croak out his.

Above you, he lets out the smallest breath of a laugh, like he is relieved, before moving even closer to you. He presses his forehead to yours and you let your eyes fall shut again - you're too tired to keep them open and you don't think he will mind the lack of eye contact.

“You scared me,” he whispers against you, before you feel his lips brush your cheek.

You manage a confused noise, not understanding what is going on. Your throat burns as you attempt to talk, “what happened…?”

“You've got a pretty bad ear infection,” he tells you and you think that sounds about right. Everything hurts so much and you are far too warm. The cotton feeling in your mouth is also in your left ear, making it feel like half your head is dunked under water.

He is so close, his breath warms your still cool lips as he talks, “It hit you hard and fast - your fever got up to 104 and you wouldn't wake up. We had to bring you to the hospital, but you'll be okay now. Your fever has gone down a lot.”

The words float through you and it takes you a few seconds to grasp onto them and make them make sense. “We…?” You question because you don't know who ‘we’ could be.

“Foggy and I,” he confirms. The hand not clutching your own cups your jaw and feels so cool and nice that you can't help but lean into it. He gives you another kiss, this time to the forehead, with his scruff lightly scratching against you. It tickles.

You realize a name is missing and your heart starts to race. Matt hasn't mentioned your daughter and you start to panic.

Where is she? Where's your baby?

“Minnie?” You ask, but to your non-stuffy ear, it sounds more like a whine.

He quickly starts to shush you, his thumb gently rubbing over your cheek, “it's okay, she's okay. She's safe. Foggy took her to go get some breakfast. She's okay. She's okay.”

His words do calm you, but your heart still pounds in your chest. You know Matt trusts Foggy, so to an extent, you do as well, but you want your daughter. You want to hold her and make sure she is truly alright. She must be so scared.

You get another kiss to the forehead and it pulls you from your worried yet sluggish thoughts. You decide you like the feeling of Matt's beard against your skin. It's not something you're used to, and even if it is a little scratchy, it feels nice. It makes you feel warm but not like your supposed fever is making you feel warm. It's a good warm that wraps around your heart. It helps to soothe you - Matt would never allow your little one to be in any danger.

“Try to get some rest, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere - I'll be right here when you wake up, again. I swear,” he whispers into your hairline and you find yourself nodding into his palm.

Sleep sounds good - you're tired and achy. Your eyes are so heavy you couldn't possibly open them again. You are slumping back down into your pillow before you know it, thoughts slowly buzzing back into nothing.

The darkness takes you easily and you drift off without realizing Matt is practically clinging to you.

----

When you wake again, things make a little more sense. The hazy heavy fog is no longer covering your brain and you are more aware of what is happening around you before you open your eyes.

You can hear people walking around and talking outside your little room and everything smells disgustingly sterile. You can feel where IVs have been placed into your arm and the different monitors attached to your chest. You also know Matt is still clutching your hand and that motivates you to actually look around.

Your head is tilted to the right, stretching out the stiffness on the other side, and centered in your view is Matt. He's asleep, head tilted down with his chin nearly to his collarbone. He looks so peaceful with his chest slowly rising and falling and someone has draped a thin blanket around his shoulders, only adding to his gentleness. You can't see it, but you're sure his knees must be bumping against the bed with how close he is to you.

Your heart flutters in your chest. Had he stayed there this entire time? Has he let go of your hand at all?

You remember when you were in the hospital to give birth. You had been so lonely - no one had been there to hold your hand or keep watch over you. No one had visited you - though you had received flowers from your work friends.

Is this what it will be like now?

You want that desperately - to feel like you matter to someone, for someone to care about you and your well-being, to feel like you aren't always alone.

You squeeze his hand, and even though you feel absolutely horrible - hot and sweaty and like your head wants to fall off - you find yourself smiling at the sweet, handsome, lawyer who fathered your child.

You are so happy you forced yourself to tell him the truth.

You don't hear anything to your left but your heart rate monitor beeping, but your ear is also so clogged up not a lot of noise is getting through and you know it's throwing off your spatial awareness. It hurts to roll your head, but it eases your nerves to find you are alone with Matt in the exam room. However, you can't help the worry that bubbles in your stomach over the lack of your daughter.

You know she must be with Foggy. The hospital is probably an incredibly unpleasant place for her - you hate being here because of the smells and atmosphere and that must be amplified for her. You can't imagine all the awful things she might hear here - the sick and dying and the surgeries. You are grateful for Matt's best friend. You will have to find a way to thank him properly.

You force your gaze back to Matt and begin to slowly rub your thumb over his knuckles. He has so many scars there and you don't possibly know how he could have collected them all. He's told you before he practices boxing, but you don't think it is the bare knuckle kind. Maybe the punching bag can split skin - you have no idea about any of it beyond what you've seen in short viral videos.

You have toyed with the idea of asking about going to the gym with him. You think it would be a fun experience for Minnie and you're curious how fit you actually are. Your workouts consist of chasing a toddler around - star jumps, push ups, and weights are no longer in your repertoire and you haven't properly gone on a run since high school. Plus, Minnie has recently learned what a cartwheel is and you are sure she will want to learn to do one and a gym is a safe place for that.

You fall into a daydream about Matt teaching you and Mouse how to tumble, closing your eyes again as you do. You picture buying cute little leotards and watching your daughter perform a routine until there's movement under your hand.

Matt squeezes your fingers, and you open your eyes just in time to see him blink awake.

He gives you a sleepy smile, then with his free hand pulls his glasses out from somewhere under his blanket and puts them on. You watch him, taking in his crows feet before they disappear.

“How are you feeling?” He asks as he shrugs the blanket off his shoulders.

You take a moment to consider the answer. You honestly feel horrible, but you don't feel as horrible as you previously did. There are aches and pains but you feel human again, as opposed to the concept of one. So you squeeze his hand and respond, “Better. I didn't…I didn't think I was that sick.”

Matt hums and somehow scoots closer to the bed, then lifts your hand up to kiss the back of your hand. You feel your face heat up and your heart rate monitor beeps a little faster. “I'm glad, you gave us a good scare,” he says, keeping your hand against his lips.

You have to remind yourself he's a very touchy person to keep your heart rate from increasing even more. To help with that, you drop your gaze to his chest - he's wearing a Columbia sweatshirt that is far too big on him and hides his lean frame.

“What time is it?” His question throws you off at first, but then you realize there is a clock above the curtain entrance to the room.

It takes you a second to process, which you blame on the illness and not the fact you haven't used an analog clock in ages, “Almost 1:30. I'm…guessing that it is PM. I can't really tell.”

Matt nods and you guess he can tell whether it is day or night. You hope it is day - you'd feel so guilty if you'd been in the hospital longer than a few hours.

Behind your hand, a small smile appears on his face, “Minnie and Foggy are on their way back up. I think she heard - oh. Okay, yes, she heard you talking. She says she has a present for you.”

Your heart pangs for your daughter. You don't want her to see you like this, but you desperately need her in your arms. You try to push yourself up, but you don't know if you have the energy to keep yourself sitting.

“Do you know how the bed works?” You ask and Matt shakes his head. He reaches out and feels along the railings, but by his frown, you guess he can't figure it out. You doubt any of the button labels are in Braille.

“Let me get the nurse.”

He squeezes your hand once more before letting go. You tell yourself to ignore the strange feeling that envelopes you as he disappears behind the curtain separating you from everyone else.

You don't want to be alone again.

But you aren't - Matt is gone for barely thirty seconds before he's slipping back into the room, followed by a tired looking nurse. The woman comes up to your right side and you finally notice a little stand computer tucked by the bed. As she swipes her card key to unlock it, she looks at you, “How are you feeling?”

You decide to go with the same answer you gave Matt, “Better, ma’am.”

“Good, good,” she says as she types something. You go through the quick song and dance of confirming your name and birthdate, before she starts her questions, “Your pain on a scale of one to ten?”

You have to think about that - your head hurts but not nearly as much as it did last night and your body feels sore and groggy. You bite your lip before estimating, “About a four..?”

She adds that to your chart, “how about your ear? It should feel a bit clearer, you had a lot of fluid that drained out.”

That surprises you because you definitely do not remember that. You touch your ear and it feels far too warm and sensitive. You had no idea it was the problem, so you feel like you can't compare.

“I don't know. Full? It…hurts. Like it's…sore on the inside?” you feel like an idiot trying to explain, but you have no idea about ear anatomy.

The nurse hums, then turns to you, pulling a stethoscope out of her pocket, “I'm going to listen to your lungs. Take a deep breath.”

You do as you are told as she places the device on your back to listen. You repeat this a few times with her until she's satisfied and she goes to enter her findings in the computer.

“The doctor will be in shortly,” she tells you before leaning down to adjust your bed, so it can help you sit. You go from laying down to being propped up, “He will go over your discharge instructions.”

You're being discharged? You just woke up and haven't talked to anyone at all. The fact they are sending you away confuses you, “I'm being discharged?”

The nurse nods, not even looking at you as she locks the computer, “Yes. Do you feel you shouldn't be?”

You flush at the question and duck your head in shame. You know better than to question a doctor - if they think you should be discharged, you are fine. You force yourself to shrug and apologize, “No, I'm sorry, I just didn't expect it.”

The nurse simply gives you another hum before leaving to probably go tend to a patient that actually needs her. Almost instantly, Matt is back by your side, taking your hand. He kisses the meat of your thumb as he sits back in his chair.

“If you need to stay, you can stay,” he quietly advises.

You quickly shake your head, “No, it will be fine.” You huff a sad laugh, “It's not like I can afford this anyways.” You don't want to imagine the bill you are going to receive - being brought into the emergency room and given all kinds of medicine. You’ll have no more savings.

“Don't worry about it,” he quickly tells you, a frown clear on his face. “Focus on getting better. Taking care of yourself. We can tackle the bill later - there's plenty of work arounds.”

Guilt pools in your belly - you don't need Matt worrying about your money problems. You force yourself to nod at his words, simply so he'll not try to comfort you over this issue. You think he must be on to what you are doing because he squeezes your hand and starts to say something, but quickly cuts himself off. You don't understand why until a few moments later - the curtain closing off your room is pushed aside and Minnie barrels in, closely followed by Foggy.

You barely look at the blonde, instead pulling away from Matt to throw open your arms for your baby. The speed in which she manages to scale Matt and jump to you is impressive and you hug her to you like you're trying to absorb her. Your arm screams at you due to the fact you're trying to bend where your IVs are, but you don't care - and you don't care if your little angel is nearly strangling you with how tight she's hugging you.

“Don't ever get sick again!” She whines into your neck and you nod against her. You'll never get sick again - what you put her through for being sick will forever live in your mind.

“I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry, I didn't know I was sick.”

“It was scary!”

That absolutely breaks your heart and tears start to fall.

“I'm so sorry, Minnie,” you choke out as you try to hold her impossibly closer. The guilt you had regarding money transforms into guilt over being sick at all. How dare you put Minnie through this? You should have realized something was wrong. You repeatedly apologize into her hair, trying to keep yourself from sobbing while she clings to you.

You feel the bed dip and then Matt is pulling you both against his chest and pressing his lips to your crown, “Shhh, it's okay. It's okay.”

You try to shake your head because none of this is okay. You scared and upset your daughter and you've got a stupid ear infection that is going to bankrupt you. Nothing is okay.

“Do you want to show your Mommy what you got her to make her feel better?” Foggy asks Minnie after a minute of you being hysterical and shame courses through you as you are reminded someone else is there, watching you breakdown.

You are such a fucking mess.

However, Minnie pulls away from being squashed between you and Matt and jumps off the bed to go to the blonde. You finally notice, through teary tired eyes, that he has a decently sized gift bag. He sets it down on the ground and Mouse has to pick it up by its sides because it's too tall for her to hold by the handles.

As she tries to figure out how to get back on the bed, you realize Matt is still wrapped around you and you decide you are too tired to fight with your anxiety and guilt any longer. You want his comfort - so you lean more into his arms and he responds by nuzzling you. He begins running his hands over your arms and somehow, it begins to soothe away your upset.

You miss whatever exchange your daughter and Foggy have, but he lifts her up and places her and the gift bag on the bed and she hauls it over to you.

“We got you a present to get better,” she tells you and you know whatever it is, you'll cherish it.

There's no tissue blocking your view and you see something pink and white checkered that looks very soft. Before you can move to pull it out, Matt intervenes. He takes your wrist and gently stretches out your arm that has the IV in it, humming against you, “You have to keep your arm straight.”

You flush at the reminder, feeling like a complete idiot, and use only one hand to pull out the gift.

It is a massive blanket and it is so so soft. You want to bury yourself in it.

“Oh, Mouse, this will make me feel better. Thank you so so much,” you say as you reach out with your good arm to hug her again. She wastes no time tucking herself back between you and Matt.

“Blankies make everything better,” she advises wisely, “Froggy said so.”

You can't help but smile at that and hold your daughter even closer. You turn your attention to Foggy, who has just been an absolute saint for watching over your daughter, “Thank you so much, Foggy. For everything. I can't thank you enough.”

He scoffs and waves his hand, “it is my pleasure. This wasn't my first late night Murdock call, it won't be my last, and she is at least a pleasure to be around at three in the morning.”

You want to ask how they even knew you were sick, but you also don't want to know the details. You can only guess Minnie somehow called Matt and you aren't in a place to hear that conversation. The guilt and emotions would overwhelm you even more than you already are and you are so so tired of crying. So you hug your daughter even closer, so she's in your lap, and mumble another thank you.

Foggy takes a seat in one of the visitor chairs and asks, “has the doctor come yet to talk to you?” You very much appreciate his concern, but most importantly, his tact. You don't feel like he's judging or lying to you. He seems genuinely concerned.

You try to not shake your head at his question, since Matt is still holding you and it would just hurt your head more, and reply “Just the nurse. She said I'm getting discharged.”

The blonde huffs, leaning back in his seat to cross his arms, “Wow, they really do just turn and burn. Last time I was here, they pushed me through, too. American health care, right?” You hum in agreement - the health care system in America is very bad.

Foggy dives into a story about being in the hospital when he was a kid. It quickly catches Minnie’s attention and you realize this may be more for her benefit than anyone else's. You try to listen, but instead find yourself resting your head on Matt's shoulder and closing your eyes again.

You’ll just stay like this, your daughter in your lap and her father holding you against him, until the doctor comes.

If he takes his time getting to you, you don't think anyone is going to complain.

---

It takes another three hours for you to be fully discharged. You have to fill out a mass of paperwork before the doctor even speaks to you, but after he does, no time is wasted to clear you out of the needed exam room.

Any concerns you have about getting home are moot, as Foggy has everything covered. He has borrowed his girlfriend's car and procured a child's seat from his parents - who apparently have multiple due to their ‘hoard of grandchildren’. Minnie doesn't fuss at all, focused on being the best helper she can be by carrying your purse, which had apparently been brought in with you. Matt is insistent on helping you walk, which you are grateful for - standing makes you very dizzy and you have to focus to not stumble.

To your great surprise, Karen is waiting outside your building as Foggy pulls the car up. She's carrying a few shopping bags, and beside her is a grumpy looking man you vaguely recognize holding a very old fashion looking crockpot. It has an orange vintage flower pattern and you kind of want it.

No one says anything as you all climb out of the vehicle. Matt quickly gets himself under your shoulder and his arm around your waist while Minnie latches herself to your hand. You don't know if she thinks she's helping or if she's obeying your rule of hand-holding when outside.

You all awkwardly stand on the sidewalk and you watch as Foggy and the new man have a staring contest. You have no idea what is going on and kind of don't care, as you want to get up to your apartment. After a full minute, Foggy points to the man and declares, “you aren't coming to Thanksgiving,” before marching towards the door to the building. Matt, and thus you, follows after him and as you pass Karen, she snorts with laughter. She and the man fall in line behind you as you make your way to the stairs.

You just know that if you allowed him, Matt would pick you up and carry you up the three flights of stairs, but you refuse to let it happen. You are dizzy and far too warm, but also very stubborn and you determinedly take each step at a time, refusing to stop until you're on your floor. Only then do you resume leaning into his hold.

Foggy unlocks your door then ushers you all inside. Minnie lets go of your hand almost instantly, drops your purse, and runs to the bedroom. You guess she is going to grab Pig and Scooby to update them on everything. You make your way to your couch as Karen sets the groceries on the table and her grumpy friend finds a spot on the counter to plug in the crockpot.

As she unpacks, Karen narrates, “Okay, so I got you all the essentials - Gatorade, tea, saltines, ibuprofen, a compress, and I got you life savers to suck on because that helps when you want something to sweet but don't want to eat anything. I picked up your medicine, it's just ear drops. And of course, the most important thing,” you turn on the couch just in time to see her motion towards your kitchen, “Nelson Family Chicken Soup.”

You stare at the blonde with wide eyes and you feel like you are going to start crying again. No one has ever done this much for you before - not even your ex-boyfriends. Your last one wouldn't even pick up tampons for you, but Karen has clearly gone out of her way and you've only met her a handful of times. You have no idea how to thank her and Foggy for everything they have done for you. You are going to have to bake them a cake or something. As for Matt, you know you are never going to be able to repay him for the comfort and care he has given you in the last few hours.

You are so overwhelmed with love for this little group of friends who are letting you into their life.

“Thank you so much,” you say, meaning it with all of your heart, “you didn't have to do all of that. Thank you.”

Karen gives you a warm smile before waving you off, “Don't mention it. You'd do the same for any of us.”

You happily would and plan to take notes of what Karen bought, just in case. However, the soup is something that confuses you. Did Matt's best friend bring Minnie to his house to cook? You turn to Foggy, who is examining Minnie’s toy chest, and ask, “You made soup?”

The blonde man looks up with a laugh, “God, no, you don't want me cooking. That was all my mom. Her soup is a cure all.”

“It is,” Matt vouches from beside you. “It can cure almost anything. It got rid of my flu last year.”

“It saved countless Christmases,” Foggy adds.

“It also stops cramps,” Karen confirms.

You look to the man in the kitchen for his approval and he just shrugs, “Haven't had it, but it smells good.”

You have to cover your face at that point because it is all too much. Foggy's mother made you soup? How did she even know you were sick? Why did she do this for you - someone she's never met? Someone she has no connection to at all?

An arm wraps around your shoulder and you are pulled to lean against Matt. He nuzzles against you and whispers, “you aren't alone anymore. We're all here for you.”

You hide yourself against him and he starts to rub your back in a comforting manner. This is far too much for you. You don't know how to process all of it.

Luckily, a distraction from your patheticness comes in the form of your daughter.

You hear her come back into the living room and boldly ask the strange man in your kitchen, “Who are you?”

You try to listen since you are curious and you can feel that Matt has turned his head to pay attention to his daughter. You stay tucked against his shoulder, wishing you had your new big blanket to wrap yourself in.

“My name's Frank, what's yours, little lady?” The man says and you try to commit the name to memory. You wonder if he is Karen's boyfriend or something - you don't think he's been mentioned before.

“Minnie!” She declares, then, “This is Pig and Scooby. They like soup, too!” You guess she's held up her toys for him to see. She must be less nervous of the man since he is in your home.

There's a round of chuckles before Frank speaks again, “That right? How about we leave it to your Daddy to get you and your friends some soup and we let your Mommy get some rest?”

There's a few beats of silence before you hear Minnie again, “Okay. Bye-bye, Mister Frank.”

The man barks with laughter, which barely covers the pitter-patter of feet coming towards you, “Daddy, can we have soup for dinner, I'm hungry.”

“Of course, princess, I'll make you a bowl.”

The others must take that as a cue, because when you lift your head up, the three other adults are making their way back to your front door.

Karen lightly calls out your name to get your attention, and when she sees you looking at her, offers a soft smile, “Feel better soon, and let us know if you need anything.”

“Anything at all,” Foggy adds, “I'm more than happy to play babysitter. Parks are my specialty if the squirt needs to get out all that Murdock energy.”

“I'm not a squirt!” Mouse huffs and you can picture her puffing up her cheeks.

“I don't know, kid, you look like a squirt to me,” Frank tells her and she lets out a long ‘nooooo’ in response.

You smile against Matt at the little exchange - you can tell your daughter is extremely fond of Foggy and that makes your heart rest easy. She's never been so vocal around other adults before.

“Thank you, so much. I really, really mean it,” you tell the people who have come to your rescue.

“It is really not a problem, you're family, now,” Foggy tells you before directing himself towards Minnie, “Okay, squirt, can I get a high five?” The sound of a toddler running followed by a slap tells you she just did that. “Good girl! Now, help your Dad take care of your Mom and call me if he gives you any trouble, got it?”

“Got it, Froggy!”

Goodbyes are exchanged then it is just your little family left in your apartment. You finally allow yourself to pull away from Matt.

“You don't need to stay.”

His response is to raise his eyebrows at you, “You think I'm going to leave you alone while you're sick? You need to rest. I’ll take care of everything else. Minnie can finally show me her Scooby movie.”

You want to tell him ‘no’, that you have it handled and he should go get his own rest, but you know it's fruitless. You're learning Matt is committed to his role of being a father and there will be no way to convince him to go. He's a lawyer - he probably already has fifteen arguments ready for why he should stay.

So you give in and give a small nod, “Okay…”

He breaks into a big grin, like he expected you to push back and is happy you didn't, “Good. Are you feeling up to some soup?”

Your stomach turns at the idea of eating anything. You’d been given IV fluids at the hospital and managed a cup of water, but you do not want to eat. There is nothing actually wrong with your stomach - everything is centered on your ear - but that doesn't change the fact you'll probably not be able to keep anything down.

“No,” you tell him after a moment, then add, “I think I'm going to shower and go to bed.”

“Okay,” he hums, reaching up and oh so gently petting your cheek with the back of his fingers and making a shiver run up your spine, “Let me know if you need anything. You don't need to get up, if you just say anything, I'll hear it, okay?”

You don't like the idea of him being able to hear your sick gross body, but there is nothing you can do about it. You slowly push yourself up, careful to not get too dizzy, then start towards your bedroom. Behind you, Matt starts talking about soup and Scooby with Minnie.

Once you are alone in your room with the door closed, you break down. You sit on your bed, hide your face in a pillow, and just let out all of your tears. All your frustration, your shame, your guilt, your confusion, your tiredness, and your pain pours out of you. Your shoulders shake as you bite into the pillow to try and hide your sobs and you pray Matt realizes you need to be alone right now and distracts Minnie. You just need to get all of this out of you.

Your body is so exhausted you can only cry for a few minutes before you are completely drained. You feel slightly better emotionally, but your head is throbbing even more.

You desperately want to get clean and curl up now. You weakly toss your pillow back on the bed and force yourself up to gather something clean to change into. You place the new garments of the dresser, before going to the closet and pulling out a new sheet for your bed. You know you don't have the energy to strip it, but you don't want to sleep on your own filth. So, you push your blanket off, then lay the clean sheet over the dirty one.

Satisfied with your meager attempt, you grab your clothes, open the bedroom door, and shuffle to the bathroom.

You look like absolute shit and don't need your mirror to tell you that, so you try to not look at it. To help, you grab a towel and maneuver it to hang over your medicine box, then strip out of your soiled clothing.

You let your body go on autopilot to start the shower and as you wait for it to heat up, you wash your face and brush your teeth. That alone makes you feel cleaner. You take your hair out of its ponytail - you washed it on Saturday, so you aren't going to rewash it, but you'd like to wet your skull to remove some sweat.

You kick your dirty clothes into a corner, then check the spray. It feels nice and hot, but not scalding, and you step in.

Almost immediately, your vision goes spotty and it feels like your brain is floating in ice water. You have to reach out with both hands and lean on the wall so you don't tumble over and you shuffle to it to press your forehead to the cool tile.

Maybe a shower wasn't such a good idea after all, but you feel so sweaty and sticky and gross. If you just stand and let the water wash over you, maybe it will help and you won't have to let go of the wall. Or you can just sit on the floor, but with how you are feeling that runs the risk of you not being able to get back up.

A knock on the door startles you and you have to push more against the tile to keep yourself upright.

You close your eyes tightly.

You think it must be Minnie. She's come to go potty when you've been in the shower before and you don't think she went before you left the hospital. You take a deep breath and center yourself before calling out, “Come in.”

The door opens and closes and the voice that speaks isn't Minnie.

“Are you okay?”

You shake your head because you are very much not okay in any sense of the word. You don't know how to put that into words or even if you want to. You don't want to go on the emotional rollercoaster again - you're so tired. You just want to get clean and go back to sleep.

You don't mean to space out, but you do. There's just so much going on and your body decides to only focus on remaining upright. So when hands smooth over your waist, you nearly scream. You know it's Matt, but it still scares you.

Why is he in the shower with you?

You try to turn around to question him, but his hands tighten around you, keeping you in place.

“Let me help you.”

The words shake your core. Your heart begins to pound in your chest and you know, if you had any tears left in you, they would be falling. Why is he doing this? Why is he here, asking to help you? Why is he pushing for it?

You feel him step even closer to you and his chest brushes against your back. He breathes your name into your ear, then repeats, “Let me help you, please.”

You try to shake your head and choke out, “You should be with Minnie.” Minnie needs him, she needs his help, not you. He is here to help watch over her, he even said so himself.

His nose bumps against your ear and you feel like your knees are going to give out. Why is he doing this?

“She's trying to give soup to her toys and watching her shows. She doesn't need me right now. You do. Let me help you.”

You push your hands firmer against the tile to keep your balance.

Matt has been with you all day, holding your hand and keeping you upright until you left his arms to go take a shower. You haven't asked this of him - he's been with you of his own free will. He's been so gentle with you, so caring, so comforting.

His hands move from your waist around to your stomach and slowly up to your sternum and very gently pulls you flush against his chest. He feels so firm, so steady, holding you up.

Do you really want to push him away? Do you really want to send him back to watch Minnie?

You can barely keep yourself standing. You're so dizzy. It feels like at any moment your body is going to give out and you'll collapse.

It feels nice to be held.

It feels nice that he is here for you, for whatever motivation he has.

You think of your daughter. How scary this must be for her and how terrifying it would be for her if you fainted in the shower after everything that has happened.

That must be why Matt is here with you. He's far more in tune with your body and you know that means Minnie is too.

He's trying to keep her safe by keeping you safe.

You need to think of Minnie, not yourself.

Matt whispers your name again and you drop your hand from the tile and place it over Matt's.

“Okay…” you whisper. “Okay.”

Lips brush your shoulder and his hands move to be at your ribs and there's a gentle pressure, silently asking you to turn. You take a steadying breath and start to rotate, slow as can be.

You can't look at him in the face. Despite everything, shame burns deep inside of you. You've always been able to do things yourself - you've always had to. Even if it feels good to have the help, to know Matt is going to catch you if you fall, the voice that lives inside you hisses that you're being weak. Pathetic.

You force your eyes open and the first thing you see are the scars going across his chest.

He has been through so much you don't even know about, just like you have been through things you haven't told him about, and to make this work, to make raising your daughter work, you have to trust each other. You have to trust Matt and he needs to trust you.

You slowly reach up and place your hand half over the scar on his right pec, then, to prove to yourself that you mean the beliefs in your head, you lean in and press your lips to the other side of the scar.

He inhales sharply and you feel like, for some reason, you made the right move.

Neither of you move for a minute, then Matt gently presses against you and guides you back into the spray of the shower.

It feels so good against your hot sticky skin and you find yourself letting yourself lean more into Matt and you give in to your desires and let your head fall against his shoulder, closing your eyes as you do.

You feel him reach behind you to the shower caddy and you are happy you have been using bar soap, so you don't have to explain what is what to Matt. He lathers up his hands, then begins to wash you. He starts with your back and you decide to just zone out. You can't debate anymore, you can't let your mind go crazy - you're too tired, too sick to deal with much more.

Matt's hands slowly work over your back and sides. They dip down to your bottom and even though he's touching somewhere intimate, it doesn't feel lewd.

After your back has been washed, he tilts his head just slightly and his nose brushes the shell of your ear and he breathes into it, “turn around so I can get your front.”

It takes a few moments, but you do as you are told, and then you are leaning back against Matt's chest, head once again resting on his shoulder, just the opposite one this time. Your nose is a hair's breadth away from his jaw.

He relathers his hands, then starts on your stomach. He's so methodical about it and it feels almost hedonistic. You're not going to deny it feels good, but you know it's not in any way sexual or wanting. You just haven't been touched in so long, so anything will feel good.

He avoids your nipples when he runs his hands over and under your breasts and he doesn't linger, moving up to your shoulders, then down your arms. When he gets to your hands, he laces your fingers together.

“Do you want your hair done?” He quietly asks and you just barely shake your head.

“Just want to get it wet,” you mumble into his throat.

He hums in response and squeezes your hands, “‘m gonna need to turn you around again to do that and to get your legs.”

He keeps your hands in his and, to your great surprise, turns you slowly around like you are dancing, one arm over your head and another around your back. When you're facing the right way again, you open your eyes to see Matt smiling at you with the softest look.

In your chest, your heart clenches.

No one has ever looked at you like that before. No one. No one has ever treated you the way he has.

You don't think you care if it is because you are the mother of his child. Matt is a truly good and loving person and you want to bask in it, at least for now.

You let go of one of his hands and cup his jaw. He presses into it, closing his eyes and it's like you can feel any tension he might have in him melt away. You stay like that for a few seconds before he turns his head just slightly to nuzzle into your palm, then he lets go of you to drag his fingers through your hair. He makes sure to get your roots wet, but doesn't soak your hair. His nails dig slightly into your scalp and you try to not moan at how nice it feels.

“Hold onto my shoulders,” he directs you and you do as you are told. Only when you have a secure hold on him does he kneel down and begin to run his hands over your legs. He starts high on one thigh and works his way down to your foot, then repeats the process on the opposite leg.

You can't help but look down at him, watching as he delicately washes you. There's this deep urge in your belly, right above your core, to tangle your hands into his hair. A memory from your night together, all those years ago, flashes through your mind.

He had backed you against a wall and gotten on his knees to push your dress up and your panties down. Your thigh had been draped over his shoulder and he had eaten you out like a starving man before taking you to bed and making you cum two more times on his tongue.

You quickly banish the thoughts because not only do you know it's not the time for that, but that it was a one night stand between strangers. You don't want to make things any more awkward by Matt realizing he's having such an effect on your body, even if you don't intend for it.

You tell yourself to think of the pajamas you've picked out to wear instead - a nice, soft, baggy shirt and your favorite biker shorts. You picture the amazing blanket your daughter got you and how nice it will be to curl up in it and sleep.

You want that more than anything right now. You want to just sleep.

You focus on that until Matt is back in front of you and turning off the water.

“All done,” he whispers and you repeat the words back to him.

He helps you out of the shower and gets you wrapped in a towel before starting to dry himself off. You don't allow yourself to admire his body and focus on getting the water droplets off of your body and out of your hair.

Once you are no longer dripping, you bundle your hair back into a ponytail and pull on your clean clothes.

The little change makes you feel so much better. You always forget how just being clean can change your mood so drastically.

“Thank you,” you whisper once you are dressed. “Thank you so much, Matt.”

You turn to finally look at him, and he has redressed in just his boxers and oversized sweater. He steps towards you and cups your jaw, smoothing his thumb over your cheeks, “You don't have to thank me. I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you. You just have to let me in, okay? Please let me in.”

You close your eyes at his words and nod.

You can't promise you will let him in fully, but after everything he's shown you in such a short time, you think you can try. You can try to let Matt in.

“Okay.”

He lets you go with a small, sweet, and soft smile then cocks his head slightly to the right, “Let's get you to bed, I think someone has decided they want to join you for a nap.”

Joy swells in your heart and belly at the idea of cuddling with your daughter. You want to wrap her up and hold her and let her feel loved and protected. You know now how nice it is and words tumble from your lips without you meaning them to, “you should come too.”

His eyes go wide at the offer before that small sweet smile morphs into a boyish grin, “I would like that. I would like that a lot.”

a/n: Matt would not stop smooching. I could not hold him back from smooching.

tag list:

@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife

@petrovafire39 @allllium

@anehkael

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374

@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare

@mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @actorinfluence @capbrie @prowlingforfood @jupitervenusearthmars

Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets

@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium

two-unbeatable-beaters @kiwwia-wiwwia @1988-fiend @xblueriddlex @loves0phelia @ninacotte @lovelyygirl8 @littlenosoul @ednaaa-04 @ astridstark13

@lovingkryptonitehideout @moongirlgodness @soocore @bluestuesday

@starry-night-20 @rebeccapineapple @writtenbyred @cherrypie5 @capswife @silvercharacterchaos @resting-confused-face

#soulie writes #fanfiction #daredevil #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #and then i met you

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inkabelledesigns · 1 year ago

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Belladonna Nightshade - Halloween Dark Fairy

Base Doll: G3 Twyla from Monster High Clothing Pattern: Dollightful's Asymmetrical Dress (read to the end, I have notes about this)

Happy Halloween everyone! Since becoming a doll customizer, my Halloween dolls are usually related to my favorite indie horror game, Bendy and the Ink Machine. However, seeing as I've completed two Bendy dolls already this year, I felt it was time to give myself a break and try something a bit different. My friends over in DollyAnna's Discord server wanted to do a collaboration, so we decided to all make some Dark Fairies for Halloween!

Belladonna Nightshade is a mischievous fae that loves to play tricks and tempt mortals. That said, she's easily bribed with a sweet treat or two, and will usually let you be if you have a little candy or pastry to give her. I haven't decided what I want to do with her yet in terms of a story, but there is a part of me that would love to have her in my Equinox story.

When you consider the fact that most of my other Halloween dolls are black and yellow, it's no surprise she ended up super colorful. XD Would you believe this is my first doll with rainbow hair? Yeah neither did I, but she is! Part of my style is having really colorful and vibrant dolls, it surprises a lot of people that I've never done a rainbow before, but honestly? I'm glad to have finally tackled one! I'm also glad to have worked with another G3. Twyla is very near and dear to my heart, and I was so psyched to work with her mold! You can't see it in any of these photos, but I used glow in the dark varnish on her eyes and neon markings, so that her eyes still glow like the original. I will say, this doll has a lot more acrylic paint than my others, just by the nature of I don't have any pencils in neon colors. It was nice to get the practice in, I feel more confident than I did before in my brush skills. It was also nice to have a doll with dark scleras for a change! I haven't done that since I made Dreamer, it's surprisingly fun to draw on!

I was inspired by a LOT of different things with this one, and I went back and forth on my concepts a lot. Black light skeleton make-up, butterflies, fairies with non-traditional wings, candy, jesters, these were all sources of inspiration, and I think most obviously of all, Dollightful herself. This wasn't intentional, but I ended up using a doll of one of her favorite characters, with a lot of saturated colors which we know she loves, and even her dress pattern! I've been wanting to make this garment for ages, and finally I had a reason to try it!

So those of you who know how this pattern works are probably asking "Kat, how did you make this fit a G3? This dress is supposed to fit a G1 Monster High doll!" Believe it or not, Requiem Arts has a method for easily adjusting G1 patterns to fit G3 bodies. It's as simple as scaling a pattern up to 104% and printing it that way. It's meant for her garments, but I don't see any reason why it wouldn't work for other doll patterns. So I tried it with Katherine's dress, and I'm happy to say it worked out just fine! I think I probably should have adjusted a bit more on the skirt though. This outfit is essentially two pieces, and the skirt with all the ruffles is a little tight around the booty, it could have used a little more sizing up. So if you own this pattern and want to try this yourself, do keep that in mind!

Do let me know what you think! I had so much fun working on Belladonna, she's so vibrant and fun, I wanna try more fairies like her someday. I also need to try using props more. I got these pumpkins and hay bales on sale, and it was fun using them to craft a little temporary set for photos.

#dollblr #doll customization #doll repaint #ooak doll #halloween doll #doll custom #custom doll #monster high g3 #monster high g3 twyla #monster high custom #monster high g3 custom #monster high repaint #doll photos #doll photoshoot #doll photography #ooak #monster high ooak #longpost

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thequiver · 6 months ago

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So Let's Talk about Pietro and Crystal...

In this meta I am going through Pietro Maximoff's relationship with Crystalia Amaquelin. This meta is not just going to focus on their interactions with one another but also on the ways that they talk about one another and on the culture/societal structure of the Inhumans and Crystal's privilege which are both major factors in this relationship. This reading list is going to have to be in parts just due to how much there is to talk about in these issues and I want to be able to share images freely! The only edits to any panels have been to arrange them in such a way that they easily fit in a tumblr post and to condense panels from the same comic into one image. The content of any panels has been unchanged, and all panels within the same image are displayed in they order they are found within the original printed comic.

Meta below the cut! This one's a doozy.

Pietro and Crystal's first meeting and then subsequent early courtship happens entirely off page between the events of The Avengers (1963) #104 and The Fantastic Four (1961) #131-132. Within The Fantastic Four (1961) #131 we get like little flashbacks in a handful of pages telling us that this has happened and giving us vignettes into how, but it doesn't really provide us with any particular details- which means that going into Fantastic Four (1961) #131, we know about as much as Johnny Storm (The Human Torch), Crystal's boyfriend.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #131

Which is to say that we know that he's come back from a mission only to discover that his girlfriend has been getting cozy with another guy. To Johnny's credit here, he's first mad at Crystal and not at Pietro who as far as we the reader can tell, had no idea that Crystal was dating the Human Torch. Pietro however.....despite clearly realizing that he's the side-piece is still defending Crystal and it's only after his defense of Crystal's decision to be a messy cheater that Johnny decides the two men have beef.

Within #131 we learn that Crystal found Pietro following some intense injuries sustained in a battle with a Sentinel (during a period of comics in which the Maximoff twins keep miraculously losing access to their mutant abilities at the drop of a hat for plot reasons?) and had nursed him back to health and during the days she spends at his bedside helping him recover, in which Crystal apparently decides he's the one while he's unconscious as the other Inhumans (particularly Medusa) around her begin to call her out on her reasons for wanting to stay by Pietro's bedside.

Crystal and Johnny have a conversation where she begs him for more time, and he reminds her (not unfairly) that she's had years of their relationship to think it over and that "if you don't love me- and only me- by now, it's time for me to read the handwriting on the wall." I'm not saying Pietro didn't see the red flags, I'm just saying he might be colorblind.

Within this issue we also get a taste of the Inhuman practice of slavery, wherein they place "Alpha Primitives" beneath them and we get to see the beginnings of an uprising (yay!), the uprising is presented as a bad thing and we're supposed to sympathize with the slavers (boo!). Johnny is portrayed here as being pro-slavery while Pietro is significantly more sensitive to the whole reality of their being enslaved. This being said, Pietro is still upset that the Alpha Primitives have taken Crystal captive and plans to save her, calling her "the girl I love." Johnny pretty rightfully points out that it's been only a few weeks of Crystal and Pietro knowing one another and Pietro....well...by this point we know he rushes into things. Pietro and Johnny run accidentally headfirst into each other during the revolt and Crystal is only concerned about Pietro's wellbeing and almost makes a threat against Johnny, even though it was Pietro who ran into the Human Torch.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #132 ends with Crystal basically going "this massive enemy that we've been fighting is powered by our own inherent guilt over being greedy enslaving racists (a guilt which has not been shown on page at ALL)." Somehow calling this out and actually triggering guilt does not at all further power their enemy but instead leaves him as an immobile statue and a reminder of how fucking racist they are- and then the Alpha Primitives are sent back down into the caves they live in without any form of reparations: "While the Alphas, free men now, return to their nighted catacombs...their own world...dark, but theirs no less for that. One day, they'll come again into the light and take a proffered brother's hand. One day...but not today." It should be noted, that the Inhumans do absolutely NOTHING to "proffer a brother's hand" in this issue, they just walk away from the Alphas and the Alphas go into their dark caves. In fact, the only Inhuman who seems to have had any kind of fondness for the Alphas is known shit-stirrer, Maximus who is kept in a perpetual open-air prison because none of them trust him. And Maximus was the one who built the machine that's supposedly powering Omega (the big enemy) but it's implied up until Crystal's speech that it is actual physical acts of violence against the Alphas that powers Omega.

Pietro ends this first big Crystal saga, brooding and moping because Johnny Storm has friends and he doesn't (he does...sorta, they're just not with him right now) , and Crystal breaks up with Johnny. And Johnny...does a complete 180 from #131 and is like "oh yeah actually I'm not at all upset that you cheated on me and I was hoping you'd break up with me and actually I have a date with my ex girlfriend tonight." Johnny does cry when he sees Crystal with Pietro, but that's really all we get for the end of their relationship. And for whatever reason the narrative seems to wrap itself around Crystal to make her look good.

Literally one issue later in The Avengers (1963) #110- this happens:

The Avengers (1963) #110

Within this issue Steve Englehart makes the BOLD move to position Pietro as some domineering patriarch when for literally every other appearance he's had with Wanda he has never ONCE positioned himself as "the head of our family." Pietro has up until this point been firm that he and Wanda are equals and just a few issues prior had issued the statement that he would never again even jokingly refer to her as "little sister."

Then in The Avengers (1963) #127, Pietro fails to invite the Avengers to his wedding with Crystal because he's fighting with Wanda and is deemed an "arrogant, posturing fool" by the Inhumans, we're told that Gorgon has "endured a great deal from Quicksilver...for many months." There's only one problem with that, in the blink and you'll miss it Pietro appearances that happen between The Avengers (1963) #110 and the current issue- (Marvel Team-Up (1972) #11 and The Incredible Hulk (1968) #175) We have seen Pietro be nothing but helpful to the Inhumans. And we have seen his help and expertise ignored when it comes to enemies he has fought previously. We have no indications whatsoever that Pietro has been anything but loving and focused on Crystal. It should also be noted that when Gorgon finds out that Pietro didn't invite the Avengers he starts nearly destroying Avengers Tower.

At the wedding, we learn that CRYSTAL HAS INVITED HER EX-BOYFRIEND, JOHNNY STORM, TO HER AND PIETRO'S WEDDING. Johnny is very much a mature adult about things and tells Crystal that if she's happy, he's happy for her. Which is great and lovely and another tick on the box for why I'm a Johnny Storm fan BUT-

The Fantastic Four (1961) #150A-B

Crystal is about to get married and is now suddenly confused about if she's happy or not? That little vague anxiety is never resolved in this wedding arc and in Fantastic Four (1961) #150B, Pietro and Crystal are married. But even the comic is aware that readers might not be thinking this is a happy ending and have an entire panel dedicated to trying to convince you this is happy.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #150A-B

Regardless, these early Pietro/Crystal appearances offer us even more insight into the bigotry on New Attilan. At the beginning of The Avengers (1963) #127, we're told that Black Bolt (who cannot speak) has issued a number of reforms meant to create equality between ALL Inhumans. But upon our first looks at the Alphas, the former slaves of the Inhumans, we see that they're talking of genocide. The genocide mention isn't really resolved here either.

We find out in Fantastic Four (1961) #158 that Pietro marrying Crystal was not enough for him to gain acceptance among his wife's people but that he had to be made an Inhuman by special decree. And yet- Pietro is chained and is willing to die for the Inhumans. "I am an Inhuman since the day of my marriage. From that day until forever, I will live or die- an Inhuman!" This is a sharp contrast to Pietro's issues with the concept of mutant identity that have previously been expressed in: Avengers (1963) #16, Uncanny X-Men (1963) #27, Avengers (1963) #45-49, and Uncanny X-Men (1963) #43A-45A. It's safe to assume that part of Pietro's undying and unearned loyalty to the Inhumans is based around his rushed relationship with Crystal.

I've mentioned above that I don't think Pietro didn't see the red flags, but that he might be colorblind and I'm going to go a little further into that here. Pietro falls in love with Crystal because she is kind to him and nurses him back to health and he's obviously very attracted to her. Crystal falls in love with Pietro while he is unconscious and dependent on her. Even though Pietro is aware that he's essentially Crystal's side-piece in this whole relationship kerfuffle from Fantastic Four (1961) #131-132, he's emboldened by the fact that Crystal chose him. Pietro struggles with self-worth issues (we can see these manifested as well in those mutant identity issues listed above) despite his bluster and pride, and we can see some of that desire and craving to be picked, to be worthy, to be loved, come through in The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) #71. But we've also seen so far, how Pietro's loyalty and love for these people who "picked him" by virtue of their princess "falling in love" with him, is largely one-sided as the Inhumans do NOT share his sentiments.

Case in point for Pietro's feelings and attachment to Cyrstal.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #159

Pietro interacts with the Avengers again in Avengers (1963) #137 where he's informed of Wanda's marriage to Vision and is asked to return to the Avengers and leave Crystal because of that marriage. It doesn't go as planned for the Avengers and Pietro refuses. He's putting Crystal above his old friends and family, and we're seeing that he's been interacting more with Crystal's friends and family than his own since they've gotten together.

With the advent of Inhumans (1975) Pietro starts to vocally realize that maybe... just maybe...the Inhumans don't like him very much. And Crystal tries to convince him otherwise.

Inhumans (1975) #3

A few issues pass, Pietro and Crystal are held for ransom, Pietro barely talks at all, Black Bolt screams and destroys the Great Refuge- and then randomly and all of a sudden, Crystal and Pietro are placed as regents of New Attilan? But even with this regency, it's clear that the Inhumans don't like Pietro. Crystal thinks that Pietro is "beyond reason" for questioning Black Bolt and the way that the Inhumans interpret his silence as royal edict. When Pietro makes solid points about how Black Bolt doesn't talk so he can't say anything.

Inhumans (1975) #7

And then in Inhumans (1975) #12, Crystal asks Pietro why he doesn't trust their new leader, and he speaks of the man's lust for power and Crystal goes "well even if his motives suck, he's making progress." She doesn't really take the time to even think through Pietro's point of view, instead meeting him with a "hope you're wrong." Spoiler alert- Pietro was not wrong as we discover in The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12. And even in that issue, where Crystal is telling the FF about how Pietro was right and how valiantly he fought to ensure the safety of the Inhumans against one who only wanted power- she refers to him as "not a true Inhuman," and in the same breath refers to herself as "I, his loyal wife." And in this same issue Pietro even says, echoing Crystal's earlier wording (which he wasn't even around to hear), "I may not be a true Inhuman, but these people are now my family and no one gets away with killing them." He's continuing to position the Inhumans and particularly the Inhuman royal family as his family, while they continue to keep a distance between them, with his wife referring to him as not a true Inhuman, and others making it clear that he is merely tolerated due to his marriage to Crystal.

Crystal isn't completely without merit here though, her words definitely shine light on one part of her thoughts on her husband, but she also shows extreme care for him and prioritizes finding him over the rest of her family when he's captured in The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12. This does however fall into her growing pattern of caring for Pietro more when he's dependent on her than when he's able to make his own choices.

And then, at the end of The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12, we see Crystal grab Johnny Storm's face, look like she's about to kiss him (while giving him "fuck me" eyes), and tell him that she's never going to stop loving him. Pietro sees them, and Johnny is clearly uncomfortable with Crystal's actions (as he has been this entire issue), and he and Pietro make "peace" despite neither of them being the issue here when Pietro basically tells him that he's okay because he's a friend of Crystal's and hopefully a friend of his too.

The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12

With the dawn of Korvac Saga, we get further confirmation that Pietro is deeply, deeply committed to Crystal. We start The Avengers (1963) #170 with Pietro gazing over New Attilan in a way that's recognized as sad, and then the following exchange happens:

The Avengers (1963) #170

Crystal makes a really great observation about how Pietro's marriage to her has tied him down and changed his life dramatically since his days as an Avenger, but Pietro refutes her concerns saying that what matters to him is that he has her, that he can support her in her place among her people, and is about to say that he'd never leave her when he's teleported elsewhere by agents unknown (at this point in the story at least ;)). This is literally the healthiest their relationship has been to date.

At some point after the Korvac Saga, Pietro rejoins the Avengers, sort of- he's an Avenger again for like a single issue, the whole rejoining thing happens off page, and then come Avengers (1963) #181, he's been kicked off the team and then passes out. In reality we find out that Pietro's soul has been stolen by Django Maximoff who has imprisoned his and Wanda's souls in wooden puppets of themselves. Pietro and Wanda go on a soul-searching journey with Django to discover the truth about their childhoods, learn more about their parentage and then return to Attilan.

It's on Attilan in The Avengers (1963) #188, that Pietro finds out he is going to be a father.

The Avengers (1963) #188

Following the pregnancy announcement, in Marvel Two-in-One (1974) #71, is the first time we see an Inhuman who isn't Crystal be spontaneously kind/nice to Pietro when Gorgon and Karnak invite Pietro to play a game with them. Crystal is also heavily pregnant in this comic so it's safe to assume that some time has passed and that as the pregnancy has continued the Inhumans have warmed some to Pietro's presence among them. With the importance we've seen them place on blood ties and Inhuman genetics in particular, this makes a lot of sense as Pietro is now not just married-in to the family, but is the father of the new member of the royal family.

The next time we see Pietro and Crystal is during Fantastic Four (1961) #239-240, where Pietro has become the sole defender of Attilan in a time of war when all of the Inhumans have come down with a mystery illness. During this time, Pietro continues to be extremely devoted to Crystal and deeply concerned about her health and the safety of their unborn child.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #239

During this great conflict when it seems to be resolved in Fantastic Four (1961) #240, we get another glimpse into the racism in Attilan. The Inhumans freeing those they formerly enslaved is described here as a "mistake," a "failure," and a "noble experiment." The Alphas are still inherently described as being "mindless drones" and as "less-than-human."

The Fantastic Four (1961) #240

It is into this continued dehumanization of the non-Inhuman on Attilan that Luna Maximoff is born. And Luna, is fundamentally not Inhuman nor Mutant at the time of her birth. But for now, Pietro is just concerned with his wife and daughter's health. He looks like the Grinch, but he's happy and that's what matters.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #240

Pietro's bond with Wanda has been repaired and his anger against Vision for existing has dissipated by the events of Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4, where Pietro encourages Vision to hold his daughter. We get a really great moment of seeing that Crystal and Wanda have started to form a friendship and that Pietro's two families (the one with his sister, and the one with his wife) are becoming closer.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4

But this is where things start to get a little dicey. Magneto, having recently discovered that he is the father of Pietro and Wanda, has now sought them out on Attilan (now moved to the moon) and is determined to try to once again get his children to join his Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (he's not picking up on the message they keep putting down smh). And throughout this fight, Wanda, Pietro, and Erik all make it clear that Erik has severely mistreated his children and that still, knowing he is their father, he is willing to harm and even kill them. Crystal is there- she is witness to this.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4

And what does Crystal do? But let Magneto hold the baby, before Magneto has even revealed himself to be Pietro's father.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4

Within the pages of Vision and the Scarlet Witch we don't really get to see Pietro's whole reaction to this incredibly traumatizing series of events, but never fear, Wanda recounts more of the story in Avengers (1963) #234 (TW- G slur).

Avengers (1963) #234

Again, all of this is happening in front of Crystal. There is absolutely no way she gets out of this conversation without the knowledge that Pietro and Wanda have been horribly abused by their father and that Pietro is on some level afraid of turning into Magneto and is aware of the temper he shares with the older man and has been actively combating it. It would be reasonable to think that Pietro might need time to process this information.

When we next see Pietro and Crystal it is during a battle on Attilan against the Avengers in Avengers (1963) # Annual 12, inspired by Maximus. Maximus is spared, as always, because Black Bolt loves him too much to actually do anything about the consistent and ever present threat the man poses to the safety and security of their people. (This is a surprise tool that will come back to bite them in the ass). And once again, this issue presents the Alphas as Maximus' allies, continuing to have the formerly enslaved be shown as enemies of the "good" Inhumans.

Pietro and Crystal's relationship goes from bad to worse in The Thing (1983) #3. In this comic, Pietro wishes to partake of his right as an Inhuman father and in the fashion of the Inhumans, his adopted people, expose Luna to the Terrigan mists to spark forth her Inhuman abilities- Crystal does not agree. Crystal brings in Ben Grimm (The Thing) to stop Pietro from following her people's customs in regard to their child, and sends her dog, Lockjaw (who is technically an Inhuman himself but that's never really explored?) to teleport the baby away from Pietro. Crystal's reasoning for not wanting to expose Luna to the mists? She's afraid her daughter will become ugly.

No seriously, that's the reason. Pietro is worried about his daughter's life as one who is both mutant and Inhuman, what her humanity will bring her among her two super-powered peoples. Crystal is worried about her looks. Pietro acquiesces to his wife's wishes following the testimony of their dog/friend(?) and Ben Grimm and is thoroughly painted in the wrong for wanting to raise his daughter as an Inhuman among Inhumans. At least the rest of the royal family was on his side this time?

Anyway, let's remember that Lockjaw is a person and has been a person this whole time and then think back on how Crystal has treated him. Based on Ben and Pietro's reactions to Lockjaw speaking it's also pretty clear that nobody who isn't an Inhuman was aware that Lockjaw was a person and not a dog......anyway....

The Thing (1983) #3

We get a completely different idea of Pietro's feelings towards the Inhumans in Marvel Fanfare (1982) #14B than what we've seen previously. In this issue, Pietro is openly critical of the bread and circus approach the Inhumans take with their ruling, and in a shocking turn of events from the last 20+ issues, explicitly says "I'm no Inhuman, and I give no obeisance to Black Bolt...or to your foolish traditions." Pietro is accused of stealing a royal scepter because he made a comment about not being a monarchist (based) and is lured into a trap by someone he thought was his friend who he has had to twice this issue turn down a proposition for sex from.

Marvel Fanfare (1982) #14B* *editorial says this issue takes place before Attilan is moved to the moon, however, Luna's birth occurred after the fateful move and she was named for the move which puts the actual chronology of this issue in question, but I'm keeping it here for an easy publication order chronology

We get a clear image, even clearer than it's been in the past that the Inhumans hate Pietro for...not being an Inhuman.

Do we all remember when Crystal literally brought in people who aren't even related to her child to stop Pietro from exposing Luna to the Terrigan mists because she might turn ugly? We all remember this? Okay great- because she's now adopted Pietro's anxieties in Avengers (1963) #243.

The Avengers (1963) #243

And though Crystal apparently doesn't trust Pietro's parenting choices she's come around to his same anxieties about Luna's human-ness. Pietro tries to support her and then she goes "well none of us have experience with a human baby, what if we just.... didn't deal with that and hired a nanny." And Pietro goes along with it, trying to track down Bova, his minotaur-esque nursemaid from his own childhood who he's only just learned about and has met but once.

We see Crystal and Pietro together again during the wedding of Black Bolt and Medusa, in Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 18. Where we see Pietro brooding over the wedding festivities. Here we learn that Pietro was given no role in his sister-in-law's wedding and that he is still continuously feeling like an outsider, despite all of the efforts we've seen him take in past appearances to be as much of an Inhuman as possible he is still kept at arms length even by these he considers family. Even Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) wonders at the differences between Pietro and Crystal's wedding and the wedding of Black Bolt and Medusa- and Reed wonders if the difference can't be attributed to the fact that Crystal chose to marry someone who was not an Inhuman. And it's a fair question. Pietro even asks Crystal if it's okay that he and their daughter stand beside her during the wedding.

The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 18

In Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #5, we see that Pietro has decided to introduce human traditions to the Inhumans with trick or treat, and that he plans to take Luna on her rounds, Crystal along with them of course.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #5

Then in Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #6 (that fateful Thanksgiving with the surprise Magneto appearance), we begin to see some strife between husband and wife. According to Crystal, she is "used to being alone." (She is literally a princess in a close-knit family who didn't even stop dating Johnny Storm to start dating her now-husband). And she adds that.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #6

The militia, being something Pietro had discussed with Wanda briefly in #5, is a new responsibility of his entrusted to him by the Inhumans. He is now responsible for training a militia intended for the protection of Attilan. It's the first real job he's had since getting with Crystal and the moment he has responsibilities and focuses outside of her, she's not happy. Also yes, Luna does look like a Renaissance baby in this panel.

A month later, in Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #7, we discover that Crystal, who started her relationship with Pietro by cheating on her then-boyfriend, is now cheating on her current husband.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #7

Now, I've shown you all the lead-up there is to her cheating. I've covered all of the Pietro and Crystal interactions, and touched base with every major Crystal appearance leading up to this. There isn't any rhyme or reason to this aside from, Pietro has a job and he's doing it. And beyond this, as we move into #8, we learn that Crystal is planning on spending more time on Earth, and from Pietro's perspective it's to spend time with Wanda, but really it's to cheat on him. Once again, the militia (Pietro's job) is very much cited as the reason for this.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #8

While Pietro runs off with Wanda, Vision, and Luke Cage to make sure that Wanda is safe for the duration of her pregnancy (it's a demon thing, Scarlet Witch stuff y'know?), we discover that Crystal is taking this opportunity to cheat on her husband again.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #8

Crystal's affair goes on for MONTHS, and even her boyfriend is more worried about what all this is doing to Pietro than she is. She overdoses on anti-pollution potion in order to continue to see her boyfriend, and Pietro spends the vast majority of his time at her bedside frantically trying to get someone to wake her up in deep concern for her wellbeing.

In #10, Crystal calls out her boyfriend's name in her sleep, confessing to the affair, and Pietro tries to kill him. He's stopped by Vision and the Inhumans, and then tries to rally his militia against Norm the real estate agent, the man who has stolen his wife's affections. Wanda confronts Norm and he gives her a sad speech about how Pietro is "neglectful" of his wife's needs and ends it with "I'm not making excuses for deceiving you, but you like your brother better than a lot of people do." Essentially saying "It's okay that she cheated on Pietro, because he's Pietro." Wanda then talks to Crystal's spirit and Crystal says "I cheated on Pietro! I'd do it again!"

Pietro and Vision talk and Pietro comments on how Crystal doesn't allow him to pursue any of his own interests, which tracks with what we've seen that now that Pietro is spending time with the militia she's determined him neglectful and is using it as justification to cheat on him. Throughout all of this too, the Inhumans confirm to Pietro that they think lesser of him because he isn't one of them.

Pietro decides that he can't take Crystal back after this betrayal of his trust (fair and reasonable) to which Crystal calls him a "self-righteous pig" and even Wanda insists that he must take her back because he loves her. And in issue #11, Vision claims that Pietro has "run out on his wife" and Wanda thinks poorly of him for establishing a boundary of not wanting to be around a woman who cheated on him. Meanwhile, Pietro is having a mental breakdown about the fact that nobody actually loves him and that the loyalty he shows to others is not reciprocated.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #11

And rounding us out in #12, Crystal tells Norm that she wants to keep seeing him and celebrates the fact that if Pietro stays away for a bit longer she'll be granted a divorce.

Here ends part 1 of the meta (stopping close to image limit at a good rest point) and I'll reblog this post with even more commentary at a later date!

Reading List so far:

The Fantastic Four (1961) #131-132 The Avengers (1963) #110 The Incredible Hulk (1968) #175 The Avengers (1963) #127 The Fantastic Four (1961) #150A-B <- Wedding Issue The Fantastic Four (1961) #158-159 The Avengers (1963) #137 Inhumans (1975) #3, 7, 12 The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12 Avengers (1963) #170, 188 The Fantastic Four (1961) #239-240 Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #2, 4 The Avengers (1963) #234, Annual 12 The Thing (1983) #3 Marvel Fanfare (1982) #14B Avengers (1963) #243 The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 18 Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #5-12

#pietro maximoff #quicksilver #magnet family #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #the inhumans #inhumans #crystalia amaquelin #crystal amaquelin #crystal #comic meta

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fillinforlater · 11 months ago

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It’s that time of the year again. What are some of your favorite smuts released in 2023?

Monday of Appreciation: Part 104

Hello everyone, Smite here!

2023 is coming to a close and it's been quite the year, a mixture of "this is a bridge year for greater things to come" and "WE LIVIN' NOW MF!" What is a bit different this year is that the highs weren't as high and the lows weren't as low compared to previous years---maybe that is just me getting older, maybe it's hindsight. Either way, I'm good and this year was good.

But some things are more than just good. I'm of course talking about these writers and their stories that I have featured today. All of them deserve special mention, but I want to focus on two of them specifically.

In a year of great, fantastic and already legendary fics, these two stand out.

Without further ado, let's dive into the final MoA of this year:

-1-

@fanfiction4sooya: Can't Save You Now ft. Chaewon, Kazuha, Sakura

I- I- I just read the damn tags and new I one day had to give this a shot. ff4sooya has crazy ideas, futa galore, different dynamics and kinks, which is SO MY THING. This has Mommy and Daddy involved in an absurd (and absurdly hot) threesome that I couldn't take my eyes off.

Now I definitely need to read more and you should too because I bet there are a bunch of Masterpieces in that long Masterlist!

-2-

@iznsfw: Drunken ft. Olivia Hye

Is it really a Monday of Appreciation post without IZ?

Seriously, what this genius is able to cook up in a commission or in the currently ongoing (HYPE) IZ DAYS OF CHRISTMAS is absolutely incredible. We have long stories with in depth characters and love drama that ends not only smuttily but sweetly. Who the fuck needs books, when you can just binge IZ?

With "Drunken", they have once again hit it out of the FUCKIING park. There is never enough Daddy kink fics, yes, but mine seem like nonsensical cringe porn compared to this beauty of a piece. I love how it plays with my heart, no I'm not crying---okay, now that is hot.

Let me change that: there is three very fucking special stories today!

(I think this might even be better than Levi's Hyeju, wtf)

-3-

@cataboliac: Enkindle ft. Wendy

Firstly: I LOVE YOU CATA, BIG QT!

Secondly: "Enkindle" feels a bit like coming home, like a day in Paradise, like the one person that shines so bright in your life that you don't want it to go. And you know, that is the great thing: this might be Cata's final fic, the farewell, but not only is his life gonna be great and he'll be super happy - we also get to read this again and again, and I'm sure I will one day.

Thank you, Cata, for hanging around!

Thirdly: I'M GONNA KISS YOU, CATA!

-4-

@writerpeach: Delectation ft. Wonyoung, Yujin

1.000 Notes, and it's still not enough for what is my pick for fic of the year (FOTY? FOOTY? There is a scene like that, yep). IZ*ONE truly never dies, but it is IVE and these absolute super stars, bomb shells with flawless faces and different, yet irresistible bodies that have us in a frenzy.

Talking about frenzy, all those 30,699 words are a frenzy. I thought Peach would set it up with a long and painful tease that has us edging the entire time BUT NOPE this has so much fucking smut, so many lines of neediness and horniness, it is impossible to finish in one try or two tries or... I dunno, seven-hundred tries?

It's detailed, it's straight forward, it's sex from every fucking angle, I can never get tired of this. I will go so far and say this is Peach's magnum opus, the GOAT fic by the GOAT writer. At least for that day, I can say this without a doubt.

Peach, you are crazy and thank you for that <3

#PeachPavedTheWay #AnnyeongzForDaddy

#kpop smut #female idol smut #girl group smut #ive smut #izone smut #male reader insert #male reader #idol x idol smut #red velvet smut #wendy smut #loona smut #loosemble smut #olivia hye smut #hyeju smut #wonyoung smut #chaewon smut #yujin smut #sakura smut #le sserafim kazuha smut

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ivyblossom · 9 months ago

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That thing where I feel like I'm going to have to write fanfiction again

This is a weird one. I just want to say it somewhere, so that I've said it somewhere, but I realize there's there's one person who actually cares about this and she already knows, so. This is just for me, I guess.

Fifteen years ago, I wrote most of a Narnia fic. It pairs of Edmund Pevensie and Bacchus, aka Dionysus, the ancient Greek god of grapes, wine and uninhibited ecstasy. Also theatre. I know, that's a bit weird. Is Bacchus even in the Narnia stories? (Yes, he is. He even has lines!) Why on earth am I pairing him up with Edmund, who is 10 when we first meet him?

It's all the weird memory tricks, I'm a sucker for those. The Pevensies forget about England because they stay so long in Narnia and stop thinking about England, and they can (and do) forget about Narnia if they stay in England too long and don't think about Narnia enough (poor Susan), and I find that really interesting. It offers up so many nooks and crannies to stick story in. They grow up and become adults in Narnia, but are required to forget most of it in order to return to build children in England.

And come on: is Bacchus not also very obviously the god of Narnian orgies? I mean, yes. Clearly. He's also Aslan's default caterer and water-into-wine head tech. If you need buildings destroyed and bullies turned into trees and/or pigs, Bacchus is your guy. He's not big on wearing clothes, and according to Edmund, he's incredibly beautiful and extremely dangerous. Edmund is only 10 when we first meet him, sure, but he grows up, reverse ages, and then starts to grow up again. Bacchus throws them a G-rated orgy in Prince Caspian. There's love there.

Hasn't Edmund suffered enough? Yes, he got addicted to the Turkish Delight that time, but he'd been struggling and was being bullied, he was carrying a lot of self-hatred and shame, give a kid a break. He did get himself heroically killed putting it right, only to be healed physically and psychologically by Santa Claus's magic healing cordial, as one does. Doesn't Edmund deserve a cute immortal boyfriend with quirky friends and a serious green thumb who grows his own grapes, makes his own wine, can manipulate and control the desires of everyone around him like conducting an orchestra, and who will love him until the end of time? There aren't many humans in Narnia, why not hook up with the god of uninhibited ecstasy? I mean, he's right there.

Anyway. It was fifteen years ago.

I wrote 3/4ths of it, I had one part left to go to finish it, I had an idea about what how it would end, but for some reason I never wrote the ending. I don't remember why. So it's been sitting there unfinished since 2009.

And in the last few weeks I started thinking about it again. I had an idea about that ending. I couldn't remember if this idea I was toying with was my original concluding idea or not, it's been that long, but I liked the idea, and I thought, you know, I should write that idea in as the last part and finally finish that thing.

And then I read what I'd written. And a) 15 years is a long time and I have so many criticisms, I was clearly in love with the sound of my own voice (uh...nothing's changed there I guess?), b) I wrote the thing in such a way to exclude my new idea, so apparently that wasn't my original plan, but c) yeah, I should have written this thing properly the first time around. And now I have 104 more ideas and I love them all, so.

I think I have to rewrite it. Or, I suppose, just write another one and replace it? I dunno. Just playing it out now.

I think I'm going to write it. Is this an active fandom? I don't think so. I don't care. This love story needs to be told. Edmund deserves this.

#fanfiction #narnia #Edmund/Bacchus #it's never too late right?

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shiro-s2e2-erukinzu · 2 months ago

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Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 104... You have been warned...! 👌

[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]

This chapter was SO MUCH FUN!! 😆 I really liked it...!! 😁👍

I had good time reading Mission 104, so let's talk about it, shall we? 😄

So, when I first opened the chapter and saw Damian...:

...I got really excited!! 😁 I was thinking that maybe Damian was gonna be thinking about the whole "Anya can read minds" thing, but then I quickly realized that we're probably not gonna get into any of that until the kids go back to Eden...! So instead, I started to wonder what kind of shenanigans Damian and his crew might get into, and after seeing that a student got a Stella for discovering some ancient pottery long ago in a book at the library, of course Damian, Ewen and Emile were gonna go for it!!! 😆

Also, Jeeves (who is still very handsome) and the butlers of Ewen and Emile tag along as well on this adventure to most definitely keep an eye on the boys and to make sure that they don't get hurt (like Jeeves hitting a snake with an acorn...!! 👌😎):

DAMN JEEVES, YOU GOT SKILLS!!! 😆

After that encounter with the snake, Damain says that because there are snakes and bugs everywhere in this place, that's why didn't want to go here in the first place...! So, Emile suggests that maybe they should just go home, but Damian refuses because...:

Oh Damian... 😓

After that, Jeeves decides that it's time to take a break to have some food, so him and the other butlers make a delicious meal for the boys before heading back out...!! 😋 Now that they've had some food, it's time resume the expedition, but none of the clues seem to be helping, so Damian tries put himself into the king of antiquity's shoes and...:

DAMIAN LOOKIN' LIKE HE JUST WENT SUPER SAIYAN...!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

But, it didn't last for long because...:

Don't worry Damian, I would also freak out if a spider THAT SIZE landed on me too...!! 👌😌

And though Jeeves knocked the spider off of Damian, he continues to freak out until he falls over and sees THIS:

IT'S AN AWESOME LOOKING GIANT FLOWER...!! 🤩

But... It turns out that this giant flower has already been discovered, and Damian is unamused by this fact because he can't get a Stella for it, so Damian, Emile and Ewen call it a day a head home in their THREE FREAKING SEPARATE HELICOPTERS!!! 😵 (Look, I know these kids are from rich families, but I find it both hilarious and insane that they all didn't just take a single helicopter there...!! 🤣😵 Just sayin'...!! 😌)

While in the helicopter, Jeeves brings up to Damian that it seems that he always doesn't want to go home, and Damian freaks out about it and tells Jeeves that worries about the weirdest stuff...! 😌 Jeeves then offers to call Melinda to cook for Damian again like how she did in the flashback in Mission 76 (though she didn't eat with Damian, which still makes me both sad and mad...!! 😤) Then Jeeves brings up showing Demetrius the picture of the flower they saw today, and what Damian said got me...:

"When DON'T my brother's eyes look like they're bulging out of their sockets?" 😭 WHY WAS DEMETRIUS CURSED TO HAVE HIS FATHER'S EYES!? 😵 THAT POOR BOY...!!! 😩

In all seriousness, that line makes me even more extra worried about what exactly might be going with Demetrius, but besides that Damian warns Jeeves not to say anything weird to his mom, then Jeeves asks like what, and Damian says:

And then, the chapter ends!! 🤭

And that was Mission 104, a nice fun little chapter with Damian and his friends...!! 😆 Though I am a little worried about Jeeves telling Melinda about Damian's dance with Anya, I doubt Damian mentioned to Jeeves about the whole Anya can read minds part because probably still doesn't believe it as of right now...! Well, we'll just have to wait and see what happens when the kids to return Eden Academy...!! 👌😌

Anyway, I think that's pretty much all that I wanted to say on this chapter, so until the next Mission; take care, be safe out there and be kind to one another...!! 😁 (Also, I was trying to finish writing this review a lot sooner, but I was having a really bad headache this morning when I got up to read this week's chapter... 😩 It still hurts a little, but I powered through it...!! 👍) Anyway, LATERS!! 👋😊

#spy x family #sxf #spyxfamily #spy x family spoilers #sxf spoilers #spyxfamily spoilers #spy x family manga #sxf manga #spyxfamily manga #Mission 104 #damian desmond #ewen egeburg #emile elman #I'm glad we got another Damian and his friends adventure...!! 😄#It was so much fun to see what these boys get themselves into!! 😆#Also...#...Jeeves is EVEN MORE HANDSOME thanks to this chapter!! 💗😍💗#manga spoilers

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looking-to-rattle-the-stars · 5 months ago

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So I'm reading The Hobbit right--been going a bit slow because of travel and being suddenly called into work--and I just finished Chapter 9.

I cannot stop thinking about the friendship disparity between Bilbo and the dwarves. It's driving me up a wall in all honesty. Cause like, even if Bilbo didn't fully see them as friends in the beginning, he always refers to them as his friends or the dwarves. And he always seems, despite their complaining and his brief moments of "God I wish I wasn't here with them and their ruckus", to hold a high level of respect for them. But the dwarves don't return such a favor. They don't even start to like him until Chapter 8! It was always "Oh they forgot about him." and complaints about how he shouldn't be accompanying them.

Like, just to provide some quote examples (mainly for myself lol):

"Yes, lots,” said Bilbo, before he remembered not to give his friends away. “No none at all, not one,” he said immediately afterwards. (Pg. 35)

“What’s all this trouble? Who has been knocking my people about?” “It’s trolls!” said Bilbo from behind a tree. They had forgotten all about him. (Pg. 38)

“He wondered whether he ought not, now he had the magic ring, to go back into the horrible, horrible, tunnels and look for his friends. He had made up his mind that it was his duty, that he must turn back—and very miserable he felt about it—when he heard voices.” (Pg. 85)

The dwarves wanted to know why he had ever been brought at all, why he could not stick to his friends and come along with them, and why the wizard had not chosen someone with more sense. (Pg. 86)

“From which you can see that they had changed their opinion of Mr. Baggins very much, and had begun to have a great respect for him (as Gandalf said they would).” (Pg. 152)

“They all thought their own shares in the treasure would suffer seriously if the Wood-elves claimed part of it, and they all trusted Bilbo. Just as Gandalf had said would happen, you see.” (Pg. 162)

Like when they refer to themselves as Bilbo's friends it feels, at least to me, that they don't really see him as one. That they simply call him a friend because Gandalf is there and thinks highly of Bilbo. Or in like the way where they don't really see him as a friend they intend to keep, more of an acquaintance but saying "friend" is more polite/formal to do. Friend in the way where they are forced to be friends with each other but one thinks low of the other and therefore finds every opportunity to complain about it.

And then in Chapter 9 Thorin says to Bilbo, “A pretty fine burglar you make, it seems, when the time comes. I am sure we are all for ever at your service, whatever happens after this.” (Pg. 165) and I just crumple and fall over because I know how this story ends and what is to become of, at the very least, Thorin and his nephews. (I have been told that more of them die by LOTR, but I am unsure who!) And like perhaps you can argue that Balin had a bit more respect for him than the others, Bilbo does note how they get along a few times, but that is still 1/13. I am just head in hands.

And, since I already have a decent length post going, I cannot stop thinking about these quotes:

“There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something (or so Thorin said to the young dwarves). You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.” (Pg. 55)

“But all night he dreamed of his own house and wandered in his sleep into all his different rooms looking for something that he could not find nor remember what it looked like.” (Pg. 104)

LIKE JUST OH MY GOD. KNOWING ABOUT THE RING AND HOW THE STORY ENDS AND I JUST THE THORIN QUOTE AND APPLYING IT TO BILBO AND THE ADVENTURE!!! Like I don't know how to express the words right now but... the idea that Bilbo wasn't looking for an adventure but he found one and it offered him a sense of connection unlike anything in the Shire and embraced the "Tookness" inside of him which inherently reconnects him with his mother. And the second quote, I just- I don't know a lot about the ring. But my best friend has lightly explained some of the implications as they appear in LOTR, and I just... Bilbo searching for the ring in his dreams. Although I do also think that the quote would more relate to my previous sentiments with the first quote, but I just wonder if his dream was like that because of being in possession of the ring I suppose. Anyways it's 3am so time to go get some sleep!

#the hobbit #bilbo baggins #thorins company #thorin oakenshield #||#every day i try to be so normal about the hobbit #i am so interested to see how thorin's gold sickness is portrayed in the book #also god i love book thorin #movie thorin was great the actor was great but i am beefing with the hobbit movie scripts so incredibly hard #at least for sure the first movie though im sure i will be with the others #not a huge huge fan of the changes that were made but whatever!#book thorin oakenshield <3 #anyways #listening to the last goodbye #the more i read of the book the more upset this song makes me

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sgdlr-asdfghjkl · 10 months ago

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Link Click Musical content 104

(chaotic one bc I only have to share my new discovery)

Today years old when I found out about the existence of 'Link Click Musical highlights' vlog series. And I'm going insane over it (esp the first gif). I haven't watched them all, bc I'm too excided to share it asap.

So I was looking through Wu Hanglu's weibo and saw she shared the vlog she did for the musical...

You can find it all on Encore Musicals weibo. It has around 6 parts, each is hosted by different Qiao Ling's actress. They have chinese subs, but even if you don't know the language there are still very fun ^^ Firstly, bc we can see all the actors rehearsing together!

Idk why I really wanted to see them all in the same room, so I'm having a field day seeing all Xiaoshis learning choreo, all Qiao Lings chatting at once or like Zhu Hanbin (LG) doing the floss dance with Teng Chunpeng and Ding Xingchen (CXS) in the background.

Other fun thing I've noticed is that the cast was using Link Click artbook as a reference (for eg. there's a clip where QL actress is doing all Qiao Ling's expressions from her reference sheet in a book). They have the book and other official stuff available on set. Imo it's v neat 🌟

OH! And how could I forget! You can sometimes hear instrumental versions of the songs in the background. The non-encore songs we don't get to hear. Crumbs Ik, but heyy it's better than nothing ✨

SO YEAH GO WATCH IT (first link in the masterlist, then follow the guide i drew to find the videos tab)

And thank you Wu Hanglu 💗

I was on her profile bc she posted behind the scenes and hangout pictures with some cast members esp Shu Rongbo. They used to perform together in other stageplays~

some pics from her latest performance, with new CXS actor Jing Yanqiao:

more Jing Yanqiao (there still aren't many pictures of him):

some pictures posted by new Lin Zhen actress, Zhang Ruishu:

and from official post for her debut:

byeee

#link click #shiguang dailiren #link click musical #source: weibo #text post #ily lc musical #wu hanglu #wu yihan #cao muzhi #jing yanqiao

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imitationgame77 · 4 months ago

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Twice, Mensah melts Murderbot

Murderbot is a very private person, often struggles to keep its emotions under control. Even though Murderbot is often blunt, sometimes even a bit rude to the humans, it is generally keeping its emotional expressions under control.

It can be openly rude to two - Gurathin and ART.

Gurathin was probably the first (augmented) human to whom Murderbot could openly express strong disapproval since it disabled the governor module (I don't like you; Fuck you)

ART is the receiving end of various expletives in Network Effect. (Because it is Murderbot's friend and not its client)

Mensah, on the other hand, is the only person that seems to be able to melt Murderbot's metaphorical heart, and gives it a sense of vulnerability. Because she understands it as a person - as only friends on the same wavelength can.

------------------------------------------

All Systems Red

I muted my feed and the comm, and she said, “I know you’re more comfortable with keeping your helmet opaque, but the situation has changed. We need to see you.”

I didn’t want to do it. Now more than ever. They knew too much about me. But I needed them to trust me so I could keep them alive and keep doing my job. The good version of my job, not the half-assed version of my job that I’d been doing before things started trying to kill my clients. I still didn’t want to do it. “It’s usually better if humans think of me as a robot,” I said.

“Maybe, under normal circumstances.” She was looking a little off to one side, not trying to make eye contact, which I appreciated. “But this situation is different. It would be better if they could think of you as a person who is trying to help. Because that’s how I think of you.”

My insides melted. That’s the only way I could describe it. After a minute, when I had my expression under control, I cleared the face plate and had it and the helmet fold back into my armor.

Wells, Martha. All Systems Red (Kindle Single): The Murderbot Diaries (English Edition) (pp.103-104).

-----------------------------

Exit Strategy

Huh, why did I like Sanctuary Moon so much? I had to pull the memory from my archive, and what I saw there startled me. “It’s the first one I saw. When I hacked my governor module and picked up the entertainment feed. It made me feel like a person.” Yeah, that last part shouldn’t have come out, but with all the security-feed monitoring I was doing, I was losing control of my output. I closed my archive. I really needed to get around to setting that one-second delay on my mouth.

[...]

She said instead, “Why did it make you feel that way?”

“I don’t know.” That was true. But pulling the archived memory had brought it back, vividly, as if it had all just happened. (Stupid human neural tissue does that.) The words kept wanting to come out. It gave me context for the emotions I was feeling, I managed not to say. “It kept me company without…”

“Without making you interact?” she suggested.

That she understood even that much made me melt. I hate that this happens, it makes me feel vulnerable. Maybe that was why I had been nervous about meeting Mensah again, and not all the other dumb reasons I had come up with. I hadn’t been afraid that she wasn’t my friend, I had been afraid that she was, and what it did to me.

Wells, Martha. Exit Strategy: The Murderbot Diaries (pp.115-116)

--------------------------------------------

I don't wish to sound like Anne Shirley, but both Dr. Mensah and ART are kindred spirits (or something like soulmates) to Murderbot, but in different ways.

ART 'gets' Murderbot's thought/action processes and tendencies perfectly, and also comes to understand its emotion reactions since they shared long hours of media viewing where ART learned to process subjective emotions through Murderbot's reactions. ART is more likely to challenge Murderbot when it notes unproductive thought processes, or gets Murderbot to express it to make it understand its own thoughts.

Dr. Mensah, in contrast, is a highly empathetic and intelligent person, and she instintively understands Murderbot. Her high intellectual and emotional intelligence made her the planetary leader, loved and admired by many. She expresses her understanding of Murderbot, which is often accurate and makes it feel vulnerable, but not in a bad way. It feels being understood.

It is very touching the way Murderbot can be vulnerable in her presence and trusts her completely. HelpMe.file reveals that how it has come to unlearn its instinctive response to use violence in order to eliminate threat by trusting her.

Murderbot likes PresAux people, and calls Ratthi its friend, but it is clear to readers that Dr. Mensah is a very special person to it. And Murderbot is also a special person to Dr. Mensah that she can trust with her life.

It melts ME whenever I read them interact.

Amena seems to have inherited some of her second mother's emotinal intelligence. Hope she appears in the future again. I liked the way the relationship between her and Murderbot developed in Network Effect.

#the murderbot diaries #murderbot #dr. mensah #meta

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kararisa · 2 years ago

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marigold promises

— 05. enigma [☕︎ = 0.7k words]

It's been years since the last time you and Albedo compared scores like this.

Both of you were young when he first brought up the idea. Comparing scores would give you both something to work towards, a number to beat. A simple yet effective solution.

The two of you have always been competitive when it comes to academics, even when you were children. But the two of you used to work together to grasp the subject matter, helping each other if there was something the other didn't understand — nothing as cutthroat as how the two of you are now, hellbent on upstaging the other.

The playful competitiveness you had in the past was different. Now it's rooted in wanting, needing, to outdo the other.

Over time his glares have mellowed out, your words losing their hostility. Yet still he is an enigma to you, an unanswerable question; showing you kindness in one moment and then teasing you in the next. Top one won't just be handed to you, so you can't afford to let your guard down. He's not the boy you once knew, not anymore.

These past few weeks, you've struck a mutual understanding with Albedo. At least you think you have. No mentions of your past, of gold-tinted skies as you ran through an overgrown garden, of late nights watching the stars while studying for your finals. Both of you know better than to be distracted by sentimentality.

So you didn't exactly know how to feel when he brought up wanting to compare scores with you again.

Albedo waits for you by the doorway as the rest of your class files out of the lecture hall, dismissed early by your professor. He greets you with a nod as he walks up to you, quiz in hand. A part of you cannot help but hope that he misses this as much as you do.

"I hope you're ready to lose, Cupcake."

The teasing lilt in his voice makes your blood boil, "You wish, Sunshine."

You couldn't help but be proud of yourself for how you did in the quiz — a '104%' written in red ink on the upper right corner of your paper. A careless mistake had cost you one point but the bonus question definitely helped. Surely it's enough to beat whatever score he has.

The two of you countdown and show off your scores to the other at the same time.

A 105% greets you. Mocks you.

"104. Not bad, Cupcake. That's a pretty good score," he says.

"Don't even start. I only got one mistake," you say.

"I mean it. It's not every day someone gets a score above 100."

"And it's not every day that you of all people get a higher score than me."

He smirks as he leans closer, his face mere inches from yours, "You should count on it to happen more often." His words don’t lose their edge, your glare unwavering.

A moment later, he leans back and tucks his quiz back into his bag, "If you don't have anything else to say, I'll be off. We should do this again."

You don't respond as he leaves.

A stupid, careless mistake — that’s all it was. So why does it sting so much? Logically you know there will always be another chance to get a higher score than him, but why does he always have to dash every victory you get to the dirt? His intelligence has always been effortless; he never needed to put much effort into studying, always better at understanding the concepts that flew over your head. You were smart, but not smart enough for your liking. It would always take you countless nights of studying just to catch up to him.

Time and time again you have been in his shadow. Others would always compare you to him and while you never held it against him, it didn’t stop resentment from brewing. He was the one person who understood you, who grew up with you. Then he just left. Does he still respect you or does he simply view you as an obstacle to first rank?

You cast your feelings aside and make your way toward the library. There's still a lot of work left to do, and time stops for no one.

— previous || masterlist || next

summary: it was evident that you and albedo have changed in the five years you’ve spent apart, but you know better than to view him through the lens of nostalgia. with one goal on your mind – graduate valedictorian – who better to stand in your way than the studious, intelligent, ice-cold albedo? one thing’s for sure: he’s going down.

author's notes: our first written chapter ^^ ngl i'm a bit nervous as to how this will be received but oh well. i've been swamped by hw this week but hopefully it won't get in the way of future updates too much.

featured song: People I Don't Like by UPSAHL

taglist (i): @fvkkyu @mintreen @edreee @khyllynnn @xxmirrorballxx @aiikalvr @yaefics @ch35hir3 @aequha @alch3myy @lovely-althxa @nei-rinn @cridtiins @zestrya @skylions-den @moriiartt @theother-victoria @sunsethw4 @dazaisfavgf @serossidechick @koiir @lazy-sanns @sweetbunnybunbun @dee-zbignuts @redactedhimbo @yurstepm0m @fanfictwarrior @fuyaa @saoiirsee @ireallylikehamsters @elfxiao @cloudxemoji @kitsuvil @orionicchaos @blurr3db3rry @semi-orangeapple @kunikuzushiit @atlatcaheart @wrrapedroundmyfingerlikearing @jewelscara @lost-wicked-artist @kairxse @elysiasbae @eurekatanya @ruicantread @tatiratty @zannivrs @mikismusings @sunoo-bby @astolary

— the taglist is currently open! if you’d like to be added feel free to reply or send in an ask! – if your blog isn't highlighted it means i can't tag you.

#genshin smau #albedo x reader #albedo x you #albedo smau #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin albedo #genshin fluff #albedo fluff #genshin angst #albedo angst #genshin imagines #albedo imagines #genshin scenarios #genshin modern au #marigold promises smau

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wildflowerwoodsworld · 10 months ago

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So, for those of you who don't know, Charlotte is my (current) favourite character. She's been one of my favourites since I started the series, but now she's in the top spot. Which means it's her turn to get put through torment in fic. Hey, that's just the price you pay for being the favourite.

Anyway, as those of you who are familiar with my writing probably know, I like pulling characters apart and figuring out what makes them tick so I can depict them falling apart in a more believeable way. For some characters it's fairly easy to figure out what the core of their motivation is (Asta wants to be acknowledged as worth something even though he lacks magic) others it's far harder (I still don't know what the fuck motivates Yami). I thought Charlotte would be a tricky one, until I was rereading the manga and came across this panel. (specifically the middle one)

(official VIZ media translation; volume 12, chapter 104, page 72)

She's just been cursed. We don't exactly how old she is in this scene (I tend to put her at twelve, for a couple of reasons, but that doesn't change the fact that canon hasn't actually given us an answer), or even why she's been cursed, but the fact remains that she has just been cursed. And yet she is the one reassuring her parents. She is telling them not to worry. She's the one telling them that she'll fix this. And she's just a kid! She is canonically just a kid!

(Official VIZ media translation, volume 18, chapter 169, page 130)

This is the start of Charlotte shouldering every burden she comes across. She has to do everything herself and if she can't she's not good enough (I know it's anime-only but her "I should be executed" line over being possessed against her will raises a lot of red flags for me). She also holds everyone else to these impossible standards, rejecting every suitor she meets immediately. If they can't keep up, they aren't good enough, and nobody can keep up. She's pushing herself harder and harder and harder because if she doesn't, if she doesn't give everything she has to break this curse then she definitely won't, and the curse activating its going to be her fault for not trying hard enough. She canonically calls herself pathetic and apologises when it inevitably activates. She sees this as a personal failing.

(official VIZ media translation, volume 12, chapter 104, pages 73 & 74)

Never mind the fact that she is, at most, twelve years old when cursed. Which means that she's lived a minimum of six years with it hanging over her head. Sure, she keeps saying she's going to break it, but there has to be a part of her who is convinced that, when she turns eighteen, she's basically going to die.

On top of that, the fact that she's cursed is caonically common knowledge. We get all the townspeople outside screaming about it. This implies that a lot of people know she's cursed. Know she's different. And, well, you're here on Tumblr. I'm sure you know what happens to people who are different. They get socially isolated. That would explain her trouble talking to people about her feelings. And her issues with expressing herself.

So, we've got this girl, who is no more than twelve, is suddenly being shunned by all her peers for something she can't control, has decided to shoulder the entire burden of this curse (everyone else we see talking about it in the flashback says "curse on House Roselei" or something to that effect, Charlotte says "my curse"), keeps pushing herself to try and do what, as far as we can tell from canon, is impossible, and is convinced that if she can't pull off the impossible she's going to basically die on her eigthteenth birthday.

Oh, and all of this is happening around the age she's supposed to be figuring herself out.

The fact that she is a fully functioning adult is a goddamn miracle.

Looping back to my original point though, I think that, at the core of her character, Charlotte is someone who wants to believe that she's worth saving. And not because of her power, or her family name, or her looks. She's desperate for someone to look and see her and see someone worth saving. But she's bad at expressing herself and also scared that if she lets anyone in close they're just going to let her down like everyone else she thought would save her when she was cursed did, so she snaps and she snarls and she drives people away because if people are going to leave anyway (because of the curse) then it's easier to drive them off first, because at least that way she can pretend it's what she wanted rather than being abandoned again.

#black clover #black clover meta #black clover analysis #charlotte roselei

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king-paimon · 1 year ago

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Houseki no Kuni Chapter 104 Thoughts: "My Way" By Frank Sinatra

Hello everyone! I hope your month had gone by well. Mine had been...eventful, to say the least, though I suppose things could have turned out much worse.

Anyways, that's not what this is about. I just finished going through the latest chapter and... wow. That last image. Many fans have pointed out the signs, and I think it's safe to say that those last few pages confirm how this long saga is finally going to end...

BUT before I get into that, as always, I'll share some of my thoughts in this post. This will be long and ramble-y as usual (I truly meant to keep it short this time, I swear! It just kept getting longer and longer...) and I may come back to update some things. And as always, please feel free to share your own thoughts!

BTW: After reading this chapter a few more times and struggling with a title for the post, "My Way" by Frank Sinatra kept popping up in my head. It's honestly pretty fitting. That's why it's my title now. Please look up the song and lyrics when you get the chance and you'll hopefully see what I mean.

View of Humanity Through Untainted Eyes (Or lack thereof...)

Like the last couple of chapters, this chapter was dialogue heavy and it was admittedly hard to pick which parts I liked the most. Eyeball's (Or should I address him as "Brother"?... I'm sticking with "Eyeball") dramatic performance at the beginning was very funny and informative. It really showed how much he not only hated humanity and yet valued the professor during her final moments. And his talk with Phos at the end of the chapter was engrossing. But for this section, I'll mostly focus on Phos's interactions with the pebbles; I'll focus more on the first pebble in the following section.

Phos has truly become a teacher/mentor-like figure ( and dare I say even parental figure) for these pebbles, especially because of how they spoke to them. Phos literally reminded me of a thoughtful pre-school teacher with how patient they are with each of the pebbles and giving them the chance to express their differing opinions and giving what I think were appropriate responses. In some ways, Phos's mannerisms in this chapter reminded me of Adamant, though Phos's approach with these pebbles seems more gently, at least to me.

Hmm...You know what's funny? As I was writing this portion, a little thought popped into my head claiming that Phos may have inadvertently adopted more of Adamant's habits than I first realized. I'll try to explain more on this in the next portion.

But let me first go back to another thing that I liked about Phos's interaction with the pebbles: their individual responses. It could have been so easy to have the pebbles all be likeminded after hearing the history of humans, but that's not what we got. Each pebble had their own opinion; some were curious, some were scared, some were right in the middle, and a few seemingly blasé. I don't know why but I like how these varying responses further emphasize that the pebbles individuality goes deeper than their varying appearances and mannerisms. And I'm also thankful that Phos and Eyeball weren't seemingly perturbed by their responses... at least Eyeball wasn't.

"I want everyone to be happy": Naivety or Profound Point of View?

Now let's focus on the main pebble, because of course, out of all the responses, their response to Phos and Eyeball had the most weight despite how simple it sounds on the surface.

You can argue that the pebble's response was due to their naiveté, but I think this pebble has repeatedly shown that their nuanced view of the world around them is sophisticated and mindful. After being told by Phos and Eyeball about how fascinating and yet awful humans were and even acknowledging humanities good and bad qualities, the pebble still believed that everyone deserves happiness, even those considered "bad".

I couldn't agree more with Eyeball and Phos on this page:

At first, I thought that these innocent and yet wise responses reminded me of old Phos, but the more I thought about it, this couldn't be further from the truth. While Phos was also very naïve at the beginning of the story, I think they were to lost in their own heads to truly think outside of their own unrealized desires, even when they claim their actions were to help everyone. So if you were to tell old Phos the stories of humanity and ask them the same questions, I don't think we would have gotten the same answers the pebble gave. And the more I think about, I doubt Phos would have ever made the same conclusion at any point in their story. There's nothing wrong with that, but that just has me thinking... It's interesting how this small pebbles seem more empathy for others than the previous human descendants, from the Lunarians, Admirabilis, and the even the Lustrous, even though they looked more human.

Tell me what you think! This was weird character analysis tangent and I'm curious to know if anyone has feels similarly or differently. But speaking of Phos's character... Onto the next section!

Friend to Closed Off Guardian: The barrier between Phos and the pebbles

While I was typing the paragraph that focused on Phos's mentor-like persona, I made a small realization. Is it just me or doesn't Phos's interactions with the pebbles feel different now? Yes, I pointed out that Phos is acting like a kind teacher in this chapter and I could be overanalyzing this, but while this interaction is cute on the surface, I can't help but feel there is more to this interaction. This is why I brought up Adamant, for Phos's interactions with the pebbles in this chapter reminded me of a certain aspect of Adamant's old relationship with the Lustrous.

As you may recall, Adamant assumed a leader/guardian role with the Lustrous over time. He had many reasons of doing so, including for their protection, but assuming this role came at a price; Adamant ended up keeping the Lustrous at an emotion distance. With the exception of Antarctictite and eventually Phos and Euclase, Adamant closed himself off from forming true close relationships to the gems, for their sake and his, effectively creating a barrier between them. This barrier only became obsolete after Adamant finally relented and opened up to the Earth gems after Phos's first attack on them, and even if it were just for a short time, Adamant and the Lustrous interacted on a somewhat equal footing.

Now lets go back to how Phos initially interacted with the pebbles. Not long after Phos found the first pebble, they didn't interact like how Adamant used to with the Lustrous. The two talked freely and sang together without a care in the world. Though Phos and this pebble are vastly different in many ways, it was clear that Phos saw them as a friend. An equal. And Phos was happy.

But now look at how Phos interacts with the pebbles now. I don't see Phos's interaction with the first pebble or any of the pebbles the same way anymore. Yes, Phos encourages the pebbles to speak freely, but to me, it feels like the same can't be said about Phos now. Phos isn't speaking as freely as they did before. They are selective in how they address the pebbles, kind of like Adamant. Phos is acting more like their guardian rather than their friend... like Adamant used to. Phos is fully embodying Adamants old role now and it's a little sad the more I think about.

After being alone for so long in more ways than one, Phos had finally found beings who treated them like a real friend. But because something in them changed, Phos is now slowly but surely assuming their role as the pebbles guardian and in doing so, that friendship connection is being replaced by a similar barrier that Adamant once donned.

Like I said, I'm probably overthinking this and giving Haruko Ichikawa more credit than what's due, but I just can't help but think about the parallels here. What do you think?

Acceptance: The End is Near

The last thing I'll touch on are the last few pages because...wow.

If I remember correctly from posts made by some keen eyed fans, the story had been hinting that the main sun is about to die. And one of the final stages of a star's death is that it would expand into either a red giant or a red super-giant, which was being depicted in that last image.

And if I'm interpreting those last few pages correctly, it seems that both Phos and Eyeball are aware that the sun will eventually consume the Earth. It will take a couple more thousand of years, but as we've seen here and in the previous chapters, time doesn't matter. The real end of everything is coming and those two are accepting it.

Yup. It looks like we have true confirmation for how this saga is going to finally end. And just like those two, I'm ready for it. Not out hatred or anything truly negative towards this series... I just feel like I'm ready for that final curtain call for this unique, thought provoking, and strenuous story.

I just hope the end will be a worthy end.

WHEW. This post ended up being even longer than I originally intended! Sorry about that. Regardless, I hope you liked it. Please don't hesitate to share your thoughts, even if you don't agree with me!

Until next time!

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #hnk #hnk spoilers #hnk thoughts #hnk chapter 104 #hnk phos #hnk spoiler #hnk phosphophyllite #hnk meta #hnk manga spoilers #haruko ichikawa #hnk manga #lotl #hnk adamant

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komatsudaya · 3 days ago

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RKRN Rikichi & Komatsuda Moments (w/summaries and translations)

While there's a good amount of information out there in English about Nintama Rantarou, it feels like there's much less about the original manga, Rakudai Ninja Rantarou. To help fix that even just a little bit...

…I put together a guide to all the times Rikichi and Komatsuda appear together in the manga, with summaries and translations.

(I've also got a WIP guide to Rikichi + Komatsuda moments in the anime, which I'll eventually get around to formatting so I can post it on here. For now, here's a shameless plug to the current iteration.)

Quick list:

Vol 21, pages 221, 234 Vol 22, page 238 (in disguise) Vol 23, pages 161-167, 205 Vol 27, pages 100-106, 109 Vol 30, pages 76-79 Vol 32, pages 59-63, 81, 86-87, 90-92, 104, 114 (all in disguise), 119 Vol 44, pages 75, p86-90, 111-112, 118, 120, 132 (111-132 in disguise) 134, 143-144 Vol 57, pages 43, 120-124

Summaries and translations

Vol 21

Pages 221, 238

The first time they appear together is this panel, from the same chapter in which Komatsuda is reintroduced as the school's newest employee. They're entirely across the room from each other, but hey, it counts. They also both appear in a panel at the end of the volume, but they don't interact.

Vol 22

Page 238 (in disguise)

This is the first time they're actually seen interacting with each other, though Rikichi is in disguise at the time.

Komatsuda speaks of Rikichi casually, so they must've seen each other at least a few times before this. I'm sure Rikichi got a surprise the first time he came to the school and had Komatsuda chase after him to sign in.

Vol 23

Pages 161-167, 205

Now we're getting to some real interactions! This story focuses on a plot to get a warship schematic to the pirates; to avoid having it stolen by the Dokutake, the plan is to have each student memorize a part of it then have the pirates put all the parts together and decipher it using an encryption chart. Unfortunately, Komatsuda was the person chosen to deliver this chart.

Rikichi meets up with the teachers and students of 1-Ha to relay what happened when he ran into Komatsuda earlier.

From the way he speaks, it seems Rikichi has interacted enough with Komatsuda to have a pretty clear idea of how the boy tends to operate. On his way to the ocean, Komatsuda spots what looks to be a person laying in the bushes and goes to help them. “Komatsuda is such a kind person,” Rantarou says, to which Rikichi replies, "Kind, sure. But careless."

Komatsuda gets a closer look at the body and finds that it's just a doll. "Komatsuda!" Rikichi calls out, emerging from the nearby trees. "Don't pick up that doll!" When Komatsuda inevitably lifts it up...

(Earlier in the story, a doll resembling Yamada was used as a decoy since Yamada originally had the ship schematics)

After Komatsuda falls in the hole, Rikichi loses his trail. Don't worry, Komatsuda is safe and sound! And he even manages to hold onto the encryption chart.

Vol 27

Pages 95-99 (in disguise), 100-106, 109

This story revolves around explosives master Tadadouzen, who was kidnapped by the Dokuajirogasa ninja because he created a new type of artillery shell. Just when it looks like Komatsuda and Shinbei are going to be captured by a pair of Dokuajirogasa, one of the ninja who'd cornered them takes off his disguise and reveals himself as Rikichi… who is then interrupted by Danzou flying in and knocking the other Dokuajirogasa ninja out.

The kids are excited to go on a rescue mission, but ponder how Rikichi knows where Tadadouzen is. After giving them a murderous glare, Rikichi reminds them that the other Dokuajirogasa ninja just blurted it out: Tadadouzen is under the tea room near the back of the grounds. They go and search the room, but pulling the floorboards up reveals nothing. Shinbei gets glued to the wall by his snot, and when Rikichi pulls him off, it reveals…

For once it's not Komatsuda who causes Rikichi trouble, but Shinbei, who trips when getting into the stairwell. Komatsuda is still technically the one hitting Rikichi, but details. They find Tadadouzen and bust him out.

Rikichi carries the sensei, and Komatsuda is tasked with carrying the shell prototype that Tadadouzen made while imprisoned. From there, the group meets up with the rest of 1-Ha and we don't see Rikichi and Komatsuda together for the rest of the chapter.

Vol 30

Pages 76-79

Somebody ordered a case of fans from Komatsudaya, and Komatsuda was tasked with delivering them to the customers at Mushroom Valley… but he left the store before he learned exactly who the customers were. Everyone suspects it might be ninja who are planning on using them to perform the Kasumiougi no Jutsu (where ninja place poison inside a folding fan then blow the poison at their enemies). While in town, the group runs into Yamada and Rikichi.

The kids of 1-Ha ask Rikichi about his work. When Doi chides them, Rikichi says:

This is one of my favorite panels. The framing of Komatsuda staring blankly into the sky while standing behind Rikichi is beautiful.

Rikichi sheds some light on the situation: while investigating the Dokuajirogasa's use of poison for assassination, he found a group of Dokuajirogasa ninja waiting for someone in Mushroom Valley.

There Rikichi goes, zero to sixty in a second flat. I really like the addition in the anime where Rikichi gets caught up in Komatsuda's pace and cheerfully replies “Take care!” to Komatsuda before he yells at him, but Rikichi is too much of a brat in RKRN to say something like that. He's at least enough of a brat to then sarcastically praise Komatsuda, who's a little too dense to pick the sarcasm up.

Rikichi leaves after that.

Vol 32

Pages 59-63, 81, 86-87, 90-92, 104, 114 (all in disguise), 119

A suspicious leaflet advertising ninja work draws a motley crowd of professional and would-be ninja, including Komatsuda and his brother, Yuusaku. Their task is to sneak into a certain castle's outpost and retrieve some hidden documents. Just as they're all about to start the job, Rikichi disguises himself as Yuusaku and takes the man's place without anybody else knowing.

While it's probably the role least likely to draw attention to him, disguising himself as Yuusaku also means he'll be in constant contact with Komatsuda's, shall we say, personality. It doesn't take the usually professional Rikichi long to start breaking character. Luckily for him, nobody else had met Yuusaku before.

Rikichi does get some professional points back for his intel-gathering, as he's picked up some insider info on the Komatsuda brothers. He also helps throughout the job by supplying his ninja expertise, some of which he justifies Yuusaku knowing by saying things like "I make fans, so I have to be good at measuring angles."

Apart from the Rikichi and Komatsuda content, these chapters are great because we get to see expressions on Yuusaku's face that we'd never otherwise see. He makes lots of grumpy and cool expressions.

This is also the only time Rikichi (technically) calls Komatsuda by his first name:

We also learn the extent of Rikichi's skill and/or Komatsuda's obliviousness, as Rikichi was able to stuff an entire matchlock in Komatsuda's clothes without him noticing.

Rantarou eventually catches on that a civilian like Yuusaku couldn't possibly have the skills and knowledge that the man with them is displaying, and Rikichi takes off his disguise. Komatsuda confesses that he had absolutely no idea that his brother had been Rikichi in disguise, and then Rikichi says The Line.

“イライラするんだ君を見ていると!!”

From there, Rikichi leaves the group to complete a task elsewhere. I'm sad that Yuusaku was cut from the anime adaptation of this story; at least we finally got to see him in ninja clothes in season 31.

Vol 44

Pages 75, 86-90, 111-112, 118, 120, 132 (111-132 in disguise), 134, 143-144

Bouta brings news that something is stirring in Kikurage Castle: bad rumors are being spread about the castle's young master, and a beloved new vassal may actually be an enemy infiltrator. When Rikichi arrives at the scene, he spots a group of enemy Tofuntake ninja waiting for a signal to begin an ambush on Kikurage Castle. Unfortunately, when he leaves to bring this intel to the castle...

...he's interrupted by Komatsuda. They fall to the ground, Komatsuda right on top of Rikichi. And why did Komatsuda come to see Rikichi?

The next time we see Komatsuda, he's been captured by Kikurage ninja who found him wandering around the castle and took him for a Tofuntake ninja thanks to a letter that had been hidden in his collar. Komatsuda claims innocence and ignorance.

After the suspected vassal is exposed as a Tofuntake ninja, Rikichi reveals that he'd been disguised as a Kikurage ninja and had given Komatsuda the letter in order to perform the Hotarubi no Jutsu (wherein a ninja uses a fake document to lure the enemy out). Komatsuda, however, had no idea that he was going to be used for such a purpose. So Rikichi went back to "help" Komatsuda by giving him the letter... purely for his own goals. I adore the way Rikichi spins Komatsuda out of his ropes.

After everything settles down, the group departs. Rikichi is about to leave when Komatsuda drops a bomb on him:

Vol 57

Pages 43, 120-124

While running in the forest, Yamada and Shinbei come across a meeting between two ninja from different castles. After they return to the school, Rikichi briefly comes by to give a message to his father and the two of them set out after the ninja they saw, with Komatsuda in pursuit of their signatures. I love, love, love that Rikichi looks like he's having fun being chased by Komatsuda, like he's playing a little game with him.

The two ninja they saw were from Oomagatoki and Kawataredoki Castle, two castles which hate each other. It turns out the ninja are part of a group of Komatsuda's kouhai who graduated from the same ninjutsu school and are having a reunion picnic despite being on opposing sides. In order to throw off the suspicions of a pair of Oomagatoki ninja who came to investigate, the ninja fake a battle between themselves.

After the fake battle, a certain someone who was forgotten in the hustle and bustle returns to finally get Rikichi to sign in and out. Komatsuda almost manages to sneak up on Rikichi, but the man detects him at the last moment and shouts "Who's there?" before Komatsuda bursts out of the bushes wielding the sign-in sheet.

Some people might say that Rikichi was off his game, but maybe it's just a sign that Komatsuda is improving?

The graduate ninja say they don't think they're really cut out to be pro ninja and want to become "amazing clerks just like our senpai, Komatsuda!" which makes the boy in question blush.

And that's it! That's the last time they appear in the same panel!

I like that the manga and anime have different flavors of Rikichi and Komatsuda. Compared to the anime, their interactions in the manga certainly tend to be a bit more… forceful, I suppose I'd say, though much of that lies in how surly Rikichi is in the manga compared to the anime. Despite that one-sided antagonism on Rikichi's part, he shows an understanding of Komatsuda (though sometimes the boy defies common sense). He knows he can get away with being sarcastic with Komatsuda; he knows that to be subtle with Komatsuda is a losing game - except when he can use that obtuseness to his advantage. He even plays around with the boy because he knows that when he runs, Komatsuda chases after.

Komatsuda, for his part, can show a surprising amount of insight about Rikichi at times - except, of course, when it comes to understanding when Rikichi gets angry at him. The biggest example would be in volume 44 when he busts out the real reason Rikichi is avoiding his father. Komatsuda is someone who tends to forget or overlook things, but he also has good instincts. In the same volume, he can also immediately see that the smile Rikichi gives is all business, even though earlier in the series he took Rikichi's sarcasm at face value. Perhaps he'd observed Rikichi enough to be able to spot the difference.

Rikichi gets mad at, well, pretty much everybody throughout the course of the manga, but he shows a special ire towards Komatsuda probably because every interaction with the boy can turn into an exercise in chaos. When Rikichi says "go," he doesn't know if Komatsuda will go or stop or slam right into reverse. They're like oil and water, and Komatsuda is a flood.

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For completion's sake, two other moments to note:

Vol 22, chapter 8: Both of them appear in the early pages of this chapter and are presumably in the same space, but we never see them in the same panel. Similarly, they both appear throughout vol 27, chapter 4, but only show up together in the same panel once at the beginning.

Vol 43, page 224: Komatsuda brings Yamada a package from his wife, so Komatsuda either a) got it directly from Rikichi, or b) picked it up from where Rikichi left it at the school, which means Rikichi would've needed to sign in/out.

#nintama #rkrn #komatsuda shuusaku #yamada rikichi #rikoma #利こま #エリートとへっぽこ #落第忍者乱太郎 #guide/reference

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