#100 million people have certainly already made this but whatever.

[donkuri]

quieranai?

[markantonys]

i already made a joke post about it but genuinely, the whole "wot s1 sucked, which was 100% the show's fault and not the source material's, but now s2 is so much better! shocking! who could've seen that coming!" narrative is SO annoying

like, the eye of the world is boring as shit! it's generic as shit! of COURSE an entire season based on it is not going to be the most groundbreaking or thrilling fantasy television you've ever seen in your life! how on EARTH can the readers who've been saying for decades that the books don't start to hit their stride until book 2 or 3 or 4 fail to grasp the correlation with season 2 being better than season 1? but even so, s1 alone IS more groundbreaking and thrilling than book 1 alone, because the showrunners knew that book 1 is boring and generic as shit and did their absolute damnedest to pull in as many unique elements from later books as they could conceivably fit in this early on.

second, s1 had to do a HUGE amount of heavy lifting in terms of setting up characters, relationships, lore, and worldbuilding. s1 did all this groundwork so that s2 could have the payoff you're enjoying so much, s1 constructed the basic building blocks so that s2 could explore the more advanced concepts you're gushing over. s1 ran so that s2 could soar! put some respect on its name!

third, stakes tend to get higher, characters to get deeper, and plotlines to get more exciting as you go along in a story. this is how stories work. why are you shocked that s1 only built the basic foundation of the story and s2 has the space to grow and deepen that story? that's how stories work, that's how TV works, and that's most certainly how the WOT books work.

fourth, practical constraints s1 had that s2 had less of

budget: s1 was starting from scratch, whereas s2 had more budget to spare since some things could be reused from s1 AND it got a bigger budget than s1 in the first place.

experience: second seasons almost universally tend to be better than pilot seasons, simply because everyone involved in making the show has gotten into the groove and solidified how they want to do this thing. this is how television works.

covid: it should go without saying that s1 would have been One Million Times more difficult and expensive to make than s2 due to covid stuff. whatever effect we may think covid had on s1, the true effect was probably astronomically higher than what we imagine. the majority of "looks too cheap" "looks too empty" complaints likely come down to this (notice that most of those complaints are about episodes 6-8 and not the early episodes; 6 was filmed pre-covid, yes, but i wouldn't be surprised if some covid-related restrictions were starting to rear their heads before production was officially shut down).

the worst part is the people who end their above-mentioned take with "they must have listened to audience criticism of s1 and made changes accordingly." [moiraine voice] the arrogance. s2 had already been written and filming was WELL underway (if not finished or close to finished?) by the time s1 even started airing. if you're impressed by what a great season they've delivered, the credit for that lies entirely with the people who made the show, not your stupid ass.

[dukeofdelirium]

I don’t think people realize the reality of the allegations leveled against Michael Jackson. Intelligence agencies state that most serial pedophiles abuse upwards of 400 children in their lifetimes.

Big name convicted pedophiles like Weinstein have over 100 proven victims. Epstein had well over 100 as well.

Michael Jackson was friends with hundreds of kids all over the world. All but 5 defend him to this day. All 5 of those accusers have sought civil attorneys looking for money rather than criminal conviction, and no, the 2005 trial wasn’t because the accuser or his mother sought criminal justice. They had already sought a civil attorney which triggered the criminal investigation, the very same civil attorney from 1994 that got $15 million out of Jackson during the first child abuse allegation.

There is documented evidence of extortion from each of Michael Jackson’s accusers, including his 2 posthumous accusers. All of his accusers are also documented perjurers under oath and they also all have repeatedly changed their stories. None of Michael Jackson’s accusers ever contacted the police, either.

There is also no corroborating evidence that exists that can prove that Michael Jackson 1) was attracted to children or that 2) he ever sexually abused a child.

There are judicial findings of fraud against the accuser and his mother from 2005’s criminal trial. They had successfully extorted numerous celebrities before targeting Jackson.

The narrative the media and the accuser’s have spun is that Michael Jackson was a serial pedophile, and each one depicts him as having very different abuse tactics that do not align with one another. If these allegations were truthful, Jackson wouldn’t have had 5 accusers. He would have had hundreds, because he would have abused all of the kids around him.

This man was one of the most heavily investigated people on the planet. He was intermittently investigated by the FBI for 13 years. He withstood FIVE separate raids on his properties with 70+ sheriffs tearing through his home, he was investigated by CPS, as well as by multiple police departments for over a decade.

This is no light thing to shrug off and just say whatever to. That’s an insane amount of manpower spent targeting a single man. And guess what they found? NOTHING! They never found a single SHRED of evidence to support the idea that Michael Jackson committed any crime, and certainly not child molestation.

I urge those of you who haven’t researched the cases to do your research before you speak on it.

You can find all of the court transcripts online for free. You can find the FBI files online for free. You can even watch documentaries MJ supporters have made that have ACTUAL PROOF in them for free online! The proof of MJ’s innocence has been out there for decades.

[boldlyvoid]

Million Dollar Man | Chapter Five

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, handcuffs, thigh fucking, public sex, exhibitionism, edging, vibrators, dirty talk, dom spencer

word count: 4.6K

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and Saturdays

Chapter Five | Masterlist

He’s ripped from a peaceful slumber by his work phone ringing on the night table. Y/N asleep on his chest, he tries to reach for it without waking her, successfully he answers with a groggy whisper, “hello?���

“Morning sleepy head?” Emily laughs, “it’s 10 am, Reid, why are you whispering?”

“I’m with my girlfriend, she’s still asleep,” he realizes he’s never told the team flat out that he was seeing someone, they all guessed but none of them had really asked.

“Oh,” Emily seems just as shocked that he said it. “We have a local case, I need you here for the geo profile and then you can go back to your mandated break.”

“I’ll be in, in 30,” he replies before hanging up.

“Can I come?” She whispers against him, obviously awake from all the commotion.

“Sure,” he shrugs, “if you don’t mind seeing and hearing about whatever horrific thing happened this time.”

“I don’t,” she sits up and stretches, “come on Mulder, we’ve got a case to crack.”

He laughs, “sure thing Scully.”

—

He’s nervous in the elevator on the way up to the BAU, Y/N on the other hand is so excited she’s practically vibrating. She’s dressed for the part, with her little visitor's badge and Spencer’s hand held tightly in her own, she basically drags him towards the bullpen when the doors open.

“Spence!” Luke calls for him, Tara and Matt turn around with big smiles to see him. “Who’s this?”

“Uh,” Spencer swallows sharply, “this is my girlfriend, Y/N this is Luke, Matt and Tara.”

She lets go of his hand to shake theirs, he watches as they all smile and introduce themselves to her, causing the rest of the team to notice the new person in the room and rush over. They have a lot of questions, they’re all very surprised she’s as young as he was when he started at the bureau and that he’s actually bringing her around.

When he finds out what’s going on, he’s really glad he brought her in. There’s been a few bomb threats in D.C, one of which is the building across from Y/N’s apartment. They’re trying to keep hysteria to a minimum, he knows he wouldn’t have been able to tell her if he didn’t bring her, he also knows he would have broken protocol to get her out of there.

She sits at his desk while he works, looking through all his things for a while before Spencer hears a familiar voice in the bullpen. Penelope was called in for backup, making eye contact with Y/N as soon as she walked in and cheering. “Oh! You’re here!”

Spencer leaves the briefing room, abandoning the geo-profile to introduce Penelope to the girl she helped him find, he runs down the stairs and wraps his arms around her.

“Spencer,” she relaxes into his embrace and holds him close, “I’ve missed you so much.”

When Spencer pulls away, the smile on his face is remarkable, “Penelope, this is Y/N,” he says her name and Penelope automatically knows who she is.

He told her right after he bought her whole Wishlist, Penelope has known about her the longest and yet she’s never been able to meet her. She turns to Y/N with a smile, “are you a hugger?”

Y/N stands and wraps her arms around her, “I think I owe you a very big thank you,” she whispers in Penelope’s ear.

“For what?”

“Teaching grandpa over here how to use the internet,” she teases him, “and for your helpful tips, he was the nicest one I met on there.”

“You’re very welcome,” Penelope pulls back with another smile, holding Y/N’s face in her hands, “and thank you.”

Y/N pulls her into another hug and now everyone is watching, Spencer knows he’s going to be bombarded with questions eventually but for now, Y/N is going with Penelope to her office and Spencer has a map to look at while he stresses himself out.

Matt, Tara and Emily head to the scene to join JJ, Rossi and Will, leaving Luke with Spencer in the briefing room.

“Can I ask?”

Spencer nods, “go ahead.”

“How did you meet her? Was she one of your students?”

He doesn’t know how to answer, not because he’s ashamed of it or of her, rather because he doesn’t know if she’ll want people to really know. “Penelope helped me get online to meet people, I made an account on a sugar daddy website thinking it would be easier to pay someone who doesn’t know me to hang out rather than try and make a new friend.”

“That’s smart,” Luke nods along as he listens. “She seems really cool.”

“She’s the best,” he smiles. “She’s really smart and talented, she’s an author actually, her books coming out in January.”

“I’ll have to get a copy,” Luke smiles right back.

“Her publisher and I have actually planned a big birthday party slash final draft party, if you and the team want to come and have drinks and get to know her more, that would be really nice,” Spencer offers, knowing it’s about time they all celebrated something together.

“I’d love to come, and I’ll bring Penelope,” Luke’s just as excited as he is.

“I’m a little surprised you didn’t know already, being with Penelope and everything?”

He shrugs, “we don’t talk about work or really gossip about the team now that she’s not working here, it makes her a little sad that she left but she’s doing a lot better just coming in occasionally.”

“I didn’t think I’d like my months off at first, either, but now I’m also debating leaving,” he knows it's a lie. He’s already written his letter of recognition, he’s just waiting for the go-ahead from Y/N that they’re moving to California.

“16 years is a really long time to be doing this job,” he agrees, “I’m sure if you wanted to leave the bureau would offer you your full retirement package early, given everything you’ve been through for this country.”

Spencer nods, “don’t let this job take your spark, you’re very wonderful, Luke, and I’d hate to see you lose it for the greater good.”

“My greater good is just down the hall,” he smirks, “I make the world a better place for the woman I love, she’s the reason I get up every day and come to work because I can’t wait to get home to her safely.”

Luke has always loved Penelope, it’s been very obvious, and yet she didn’t want really anything to do with him until Derek advised her to be nice. She was so busy thinking about all her other babies leaving the nest after Derek that she didn’t take the time to consider bringing in Luke to the nest for warmth and love as well.

“When are you asking her to marry you?”

Luke turns bashful, a slight blush on his cheeks as he stares at the table, “Christmas, it’s her favourite time of the year.”

“Have you talked to Derek?” Spencer only worries slightly, after what happened with Kevin he doesn’t want to see it happen to Luke.

“Nope, I’ve talked to her brothers though, we’re going to California again this year for Christmas and they all said they’d love to have me in the family,” Luke smiles, “the Garcias are my favourite.”

Spencer isn’t normally a hugger but he walks around the table and wraps Luke up, “I’m asking Y/N in a week.”

“No way?”

He nods, “she’s the greatest good I’m ever going to get.”

“Amen, brother.”

—

Penelope’s job was incredible, she was in awe as she watched her tap away at her keyboard and answer a million and one questions. She reminded her of Ned from Kim Possible and she knew if she said that to anyone she’d give away just how young she is.

She’s gotten a lot of looks, she knows people are talking about it and yet she doesn’t really care. There isn’t any malice behind the stares and the whispers, they all seem genuinely surprised that Spencer has a girlfriend over the fact she’s in her 20’s.

There’s a single dull moment and she turns to Y/N, “can I please have the juicy details, please,” she begs and it makes her feel giddy.

She’s never really had any girlfriends like this, and she certainly didn’t have anyone to tell about Spencer. “He’s the love of my life, I’m completely serious.”

Penelope squealed, “that’s all I’ve ever wanted for him, ugh this is so exciting! Are you guys serious? How long has it been?”

She nods, “not long, uh he got me this necklace a week or two ago and we’ve been moving pretty slow for his sake. In the last 10 months he’s become my bestie and I’ve convinced him to move in and he sleeps in my bed now and I love waking up beside him… he’s a real gentleman.”

“That’s good, he’s never been able to take the scenic route in life… I know you’re only here cause he trusts you and if he trusts you that means you know everything and if you know ever—“

“Yeah,” she cuts her off, “I know about all of it and everyone who’s hurt him and how he’s hurt himself but what’s more important is that it doesn’t phase me, he’s just a person trying to deal with the life he’s been given, we all are.”

Penelope wraps her up in a gentle hug, “he’s always needed someone like you.”

It makes her heartbreak just a tiny bit thinking about how as long he didn’t have anyone. Sure, he was surrounded by his friends at work and loved enough that they all brought him back home but he was never cared for the way she would have done it. There’s a weird maternal instinct that comes over her with Spencer and she knows exactly why, all she knows is she wants to love him and care for him for the rest of his life.

If she lives to be 100, she hopes he lives to be 116, because there isn’t a day she wants to spend on this earth where Spencer Reid isn’t alive and beside her.

She’s not going to cry in Penelope’s arms after just meeting her so she pulls back with a smile, “but what kind of juicy details are we talking? Cause I can’t embarrass him too bad…”

Penelope’s laugh is evil as she rubs her hands together, “a little birdie whose name rhymes with shmerek said he knows how to use that mouth for more than just talking…”

It makes her laugh almost a little too hard and she starts to feel her face heat up, she simply nods, “yeah, we haven’t gone all the way but from what’s happened so far, I can agree.”

Penelope turns in her rolling chair and laughs, “ugh that’s so great, I’m glad you’re having a good time— I mean I always thought Spencer would be good in bed after all the chats we’ve had about kinks and shit, he’s really educated, obviously, but I always knew that it would translate from paper to real-life very easily.”

“Oh totally,” she nods feverishly, “we talked about that before actually, virginity is simply a construct used to control women and make them feel pure or dirty, to feel like they can take something from a woman and yet virgins are so sexual and in tune with their needs and wants that they typically are good or at least know what to do from whatever porn they’ve consumed when it comes down to it. How the more in tune with someone's sexuality that they are the better they are in bed because they apply what they want to their partner and almost get off more on the fact someone is enjoying them than the fact they’re being pleasured.”

Penelope shakes her head with a loving smile, “you listen when he talks, you love every part of him and you’re beautiful… he really hit the jackpot.”

She brushes it off with a laugh, “I got pretty lucky with him too.”

Her phone rings before she can agree, answering with a cheerful tone, Spencer is on the other end, “do you have my beautiful girlfriend with you still?”

“Present,” she answers for herself, “are you still here, dad-Spence?”

She bites her lip and closes her eyes, fuck.

“Yeah, uh, I am, we think we got the actual building with the bomb, they’ve sent the team down there to clear it and check it out.”

“I’ll head back to the bullpen, then,” she stands and heads to the door, not wanting to face Penelope after almost calling him daddy right in front of her.

“Hey,” she calls to Y/N, “don’t be embarrassed. I get it, believe me, I’ve answered some calls in here with the dirtiest remarks to the completely wrong people. But, I’ll see you later?”

She smiles, “yeah, I’d love to see you again.”

In the bullpen, Spencer’s by his desk all alone. His teams cleared out and now it was just the office staff wandering around. She wraps her arms around his waist and rests her head on his back, “ready to go home?”

“Uh, not yet…” he turns to look at her, “I don’t want to bring you back to D.C unless the case is closed.” He looks nervous and she understands it perfectly.

“Okie Dokie, she smiles, leaning in for a hug to get close to his ear, “can we fuck in a storage closet to pass the time?”

He laughs but he takes her hand and he pretends to take her on a tour, he leads her down the hall and towards the filing room where he knows no one will be. “No one has really used this room in ages, since we went digital, and Penelope had all this stuff put online anyway.”

“So you can bend me over that table and rail me next time we come back?”

“Or?” She hears his playful tone and smirks to herself, letting him manhandle her hands behind her back as he bends her over a table, “I could fuck these big beautiful thighs of yours?”

“So only you can get off? Please,” She scoffs at him, wanting to piss him off to see where it gets her, wiggling her ass back against him as she does so.

He unbuttons her pants and drags them down her legs to leave her in just her thong, taking a handful of her ass and squeezing before laying a hard slap against her, she gasps at the feeling but also at the fact it was so loud.

“They’re going to hear you?!” She whispers with a disappointed tone.

“Isn’t that what you said you wanted? You wanted everyone to know only daddy can take care of you?” He uses her own words against her and she whines. “That’s what I thought.”

“No, but seriously,” she turns her head to look at him, “check my pocket.”

He does exactly that, finding one of her little bullet vibes in the front pocket of her jeans, “you planned this?”

“I knew we’d be having some kind of sex somewhere in this building,” she smirks. “Also my safe word is red but keep going.”

“Alrighty, then,” she can hear the smirk on his face as he thinks it over.

He takes his handcuffs out of his back pocket and cuffs her, “you know, it’s public indecency looking like this in here, technically it’s a federal offence and it’s my duty as a federal officer to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

She swallows sharply, pushing back against his groin and gasping when her bare asscheek meets the cold metal of his gun in his holster. Sometimes she forgot he was a real FBI agent, sometimes it didn’t feel real to her because he was just her nerdy boyfriend and he never had any of his "cop props" with him… suddenly they weren’t just accessories to her anymore, he was actually a cop who just bent her over a table and cuffed her and now he’s going to fuck her "big beautiful thighs" as he called them.

“What’s the sentence, agent?” She plays along because damn he’s hot like this.

He presses his chest to her back as he leans in close to her ear, “It’s doctor, and you know that.”

He turns on the vibrator and rests it inside her underwear, right against her clit at the lowest setting, her thighs twitch at the feeling and all she wishes is that she had something to hold on to.

She whines again when she hears his belt buckle dangle and his zipper open, he grips his cock at the base and drags the head between her cheeks before slipping between her things with a sigh, “and it’s taking my time, you’re just going to have to, rather impatiently, deal with it.”

“Yes, doctor,” she closes her eyes and waits for the feeling of his cock between her legs but he doesn’t push in.

He places his feet on either side of hers so that she can't open her legs any further and finally, finally breaches her thighs. He groans at the drag of his cock against her skin as the vibrations from her panties continue to make her legs quake. She lets out a shaky breath and reaches for his shirt as he presses against her once more. Grabbing his tie instead, she pulls on it and he gasps for air.

“Sorry,” she mumbles with a smirk, not sorry at all for slightly choking him as she continues to hold his tie.

He swats her hands away from his tie and grips the cuffs to separate her hands, pushing them further up her back until it’s almost uncomfortable. The most uncomfortable thing about this was the fact he wasn’t inside of her, she felt so empty as she clenched around nothing. The stimulation on her clit was nice, the feeling of him taking her from behind is ungodly and yet he’s not in her. It’s the worst punishment in the whole world.

It was nowhere near enough to get her off and he knew that she wanted so much more that she wasn’t going to get, whining as he kept his thrusts at the same slow pace. It was agonizing, she squeezed her legs together more to tease him but he ended up liking it. There was nothing she could do for more, she was just going to have to let him take her, and that thought was what brought her closer.

“Please?” She begged, sounding just as desperate as she thought she would and not giving a single fuck.

“Please what?” He snaps his hips against her just a bit harder with each thrust.

She gasps again before biting her lip to hold back a moan, “finish in my mouth?” She begs once more, “please?”

He pulls off of her and yanks her off the table, turning her around, she drops to her knees without being told and opens her mouth immediately. He grips her by her hair and guides her towards his cock, slipping it past her lips and right down her throat.

He groans at the feeling, she closes her eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling of his heavy cock in her mouth. Taking him more forcefully than ever before, he’s too caught up in the moment to realize he might be a little too rough but she also doesn’t mind. Breathing through her nose to stay calm she takes him as far as she can, pressing her nose to his pubes he can feel how hot her breath is as she struggles to breathe.

“Such a good girl,” he pulls her off so she can breathe for a moment, “you want my cum so bad don’t you?”

“Yes please, daddy,” she replies with a rasp in her voice that makes it obvious where he’s been.

She takes him in her mouth once more, sucking earnestly to get him closer and closer to the edge. He’s whining, pulling her hair and doing everything in his power not to thrust against her face, even though she’s okay with it.

She knows when he’s close because his cock always twitches in the same spot, it’s a tell-tale sign that he’s going to cum in a second. She applies more suction, running her tongue along the underside before taking him all the way once more just in time for him to cum right down her throat with each swallow.

He’s not quiet, anyone walking past the door will hear him panting and gasping, muttering good girl under his breath, he’s more fucked out by this blow job than she’s ever made him before. She can’t help but smirk as he pulls away and leaves her there on her knees, covered in spit and drool and unable to wipe her own mouth due to the fact she’s still fucking handcuffed.

She rests against his shoe, pressing the vibrator against her clit a little more, she twitches at how good it feels but it’s still not enough to get her off, and a part of her doesn’t want to.

He pulls her up to her feet and sits her down on the table he was just pretending to fuck her against. He attempts to spread her legs and get between them but she stops him, “leave the vibe where it is and let’s just go home?”

“You want to walk out of this building with a vibrator in your panties, and say goodbye to my co-workers and friends knowing you could cum anytime?”

She smirks, “yes, but I won't cum cause this pathetic toy isn’t as good at you.”

He clicks the button to turn it up a speed and she gasps, pushing against the feeling and moaning into it, “I’d like to see you try that.”

—

He takes her on the rest of the “tour” with that vibrator in her panties, she’s getting more and more flustered the more they look around. Eventually, he shows her the library, getting her alone in the back corner where he can talk to her without the risk of people knowing what’s going on.

“I can’t,” she whines as he presses her against the shelves, “please?”

“Please what?”

“Turn it off, daddy, I can’t take it anymore,” she grips his suit jacket tightly as she looks up at him with the eyes he can’t say no to.

“Mmm,” he hums, reaching into her pants to free her from the stimulation, she relaxes finally. “What do you think you deserve now?”

“Don’t wanna cum till we’re at home,” she whispers, “but you’ll have to make it quick because we have a flight to catch at 8.”

“Fuck,” he whispers like he forgot. “I hope we can get back into the apartment in time.”

“Why?”

“The bomb was in the basement of the building beside yours,” he admits and the whole facade fades, “that’s why I’m not taking you home yet.”

“That’s why you wanted to fuck me,” she whispers with a giggle. “You could have at least told me this was a ‘you almost died’ rush for you.”

“I didn’t want to say it like that,” he admits and a depression washes through his blood, he feels the low settle as he drops, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she takes his face in her hands and makes him look her in the eyes, “I love you, I’m glad we’re both safe. Everything in there is replaceable, you and me aren’t. This is a really good thing, Spencer.”

He nods, doing what she’s told him so many times she wants him to do, telling her his thoughts so that he’s no longer haunted alone, “when I told my friend Derek about you, he said dating a younger woman means I’ll never have to worry about you dying of old age before me. That’s one of his fears being the same age as Savannah, but I’ve lost so many people I never even thought about getting old with you I’ve just wanted to keep this version of you safe and with me forever.”

“Penelope said she always wished you’d find someone like me, and my only thought was If I live to be 100, I hope you live to be 116 because there isn’t a day I want to spend on this earth where Spencer Reid isn’t alive and beside me,” he whispers with a smile, “but now I’m thinking if you live to be 100, I don’t want to go past 84.”

“You can’t say that,” he whispers, tears bubbling in his eyes, “what if I die tomorrow? I need to know you’re going to be fine and not end your wonderful existence because I’m not here anymore. You’re too wonderful to put all your worth on me.”

She doesn’t want to cry, she already looks like she’s been fucked and now she’s a mess, she pulls him into a kiss so he’ll stop talking and they can just be together, it was hard enough for her thinking he was going to die eventually, let alone him hypothesizing dying tomorrow.

She rests her forehead against his, “we always do this.”

“What?”

“It’s like orgasms open the emotions or something,” she snuffles which turns into a laugh, “do you think our kids are going to find it weird that you’re so much older than me?”

Everything takes him for a loop, “uh,” he struggles to find the words, pulling back and looking at her as her face drops, “I um—

“You don’t want kids anymore?” She looks genuinely saddened and he doesn’t know how to answer.

“I do,” he nods, “just—“

“Not with me?” She puts the words in his mouth.

“With you, just not yet,” he holds her by the shoulders, “I need more time with you before we have a kid, I need to love life and be in a good place and somewhere where I can focus all my attention on them, and I can’t yet.”

“I want a baby by 30,” she whispers before pressing her lips together awkwardly, “46 isn’t too old to be a dad, I’ve seen men become fathers at 80.”

He laughs as the anxiety leaves him, “a little California surfer baby wouldn’t be too bad.”

“Well, we fuck like rabbits, we might get there sooner than you planned,” she nudges him, “you’re a wonderful boyfriend, and if you don’t mind, I’d like for you to stay my boyfriend for a little longer? I’m not ready to be a wife or a mom and change my name when I just got it put on a published book.”

“I’ll change mine to yours,” he replies like it's nothing, “or keep yours and we’ll hyphenate the kid's names.”

“It’s plural now?” She teases him once more.

“Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you,” he assures her, “forever.”

“You’d pluck a star from the sky for me wouldn’t you, Doctor Y/L/N?”

He laughs at how it sounds but he kinda likes it. Her word choice is even funnier to him, however, because he’s actually gone out of his way to pluck a star for her. She has no idea, but her last present is a big one.

She struggled to get her own name on a book for so long, now there’s a star named after her, in the sky for everyone to see for the rest of time.

Permanent tag list:

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Sugar daddy fic

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[thebadgerclan]

SFW Alphabet: Lucius Malfoy

Requested by Anonymous

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Lucius is a very affectionate man, always wanting you to know just how loved and adored you are.  He’s almost always holding your hand or has an arm around your shoulders, or both. When you’re alone at home, Lucius will hold you in his lap, pressing kisses all over your face.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) Lucius has very few people who he considers friends, Severus being among them.  But having him as a friend, you’re never alone on anything.  Lucius will stand by your side through anything, acting as a confidant and a shoulder to lean on whenever you need it.  If you need some sway with the Ministry, he’s more than willing to help you there too.

  C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Lucius adores cuddling: having you in his arms, holding you close, it’s one of his favorite things.  When the two of you are alone, he likes to have you in his lap as the two of you read or just spend time together.  Lucius is always the big spoon, with you either facing him or with your back to his chest.  He also likes it when he’s on his back and you’re tucked into his side or lying on top of him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) Lucius does want to settle down with you, he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. You already own his heart, he knows that there’s no other woman for him, so he sees no reason not to settle down with you.   He’s already got the massive manor, but if you want to move somewhere smaller, he’s already signing the deed.  Lucius is shit at cleaning, he’s had house elves for his entire life, but he can cook pretty well.  He doesn’t do so very often, but sometimes, when he wants to surprise you, he’ll shoo the elves from the kitchen and cook you a romantic dinner (he has to call them back because he has no clue where stuff is, but he does cook the meal)

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) It would break his heart into a million pieces to end things with you, but if he had to, Lucius would put on the icy, cold, unapproachable exterior he shows to everyone but you.  “This can’t go on, Y/N,” he says, feeling ill with himself.  “We’re done.  I’m sorry, it’s over.”

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) Lucius most certainly wants to marry you, and now that Narcissa’s out of the picture, he can.  You’re together for about a year or so before he gets you a ring, and as soon as the little box is in his hand, he’s planning a super romantic evening for you.  After a 5 star meal, complete with champagne and dessert, he gets on one knee and asks you to marry him.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) He may seem like a cold, cruel man, but around you, he is the gentlest, kindest, warmest man you’ve ever met.  Lucius is such a gentle man around you, treating you like a fawn (and fawning [pun not intended] over you as one does a baby deer), always being tender and gentle.  Emotionally, he’s such a sweetie, never raising his voice at you.  I won’t say he never gets angry with you, because he’s human, but he tries not to.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Lucius likes hugs, though you’re usually the one to initiate them.  He prefers to be able to hold you for longer periods of time, and as hugs are usually short lived, they’re not his favorite.  Don’t get me wrong, he loves it when you hug him, he loves any form of physical intimacy with you, he just prefers cuddling.  That being said, his hugs are strong, he squeezes you tight against him, sometimes knocking the wind out of you.  He’ll rest his chin on your head, and kiss you sweetly when he pulls away.

  I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) Lucius waits until he’s 100% certain of his feelings for you, more for your benefit than his.  He doesn’t want to rush into telling you he loves you if he thinks he might walk back on it (that’s very unlikely, but he wants to be sure).  After 5ish months, when you’re away for a week and Lucius feels physical pain in his chest for missing you, that’s when he knows he loves you.  The first words out of his mouth when you return are “I love you, Y/N.  I love you more than anything else in this world, and I will always love you.”

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Lucius is a VERY jealous man, you are his and his alone, no one else gets to have you.  If he sees someone looking at you a little too long, making eyes at you, hitting on you, or making you uncomfortable in any way, he’s at your side immediately.  Lucius will pull you into his side, arm tight around your shoulders or waist, grey eyes staring daggers at whoever dared to speak to you.  “Are you alright, my dear?”  As soon as you’re alone, Lucius will kiss you hard, usually pushing you against a wall, snarling “Mine.”

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Lucius is a very skilled kisser, he knows how to convey every single emotion just by pressing his lips to yours.  He’ll pull you fluff against him, arms around your middle; one hand cupping the back of your neck, the other either on your back or ass.  He likes to kiss your lips, obviously, but he also loves kissing your forehead, neck, hands, chest, and thighs.  He likes being kissed on the lips, again, obviously, on the cheeks, the chin (because that might be all you can reach), hands, shoulders, basically anywhere.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) I HC that Lucius played a massive role in raising Draco, so I think he’s pretty good with kids. Kids that aren’t his tend to get on his nerves a little, but his own kids, man, they’re the moon and the sun to him.  He adores his own children to no end, and if you want to have kids with him, Lucius is more than happy to be a father again.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Lucius gets up early most mornings, so he’s not always there when you get up.  But there’s always a cup of coffee/tea/whatever you like on the nightstand under a stasis charm, usually with a little love note under the cup.  On the days he can sleep in a bit, you wake with Lucius wrapped around you (he’s wrapped around you every morning, you’re just awake for it this time).  He’ll gently kiss you awake, smiling when you open your eyes.  “Good morning, my love.”

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Nights and evenings are quiet intimate affairs between the two of you.  Evenings usually entail a private, often romantic dinner before the two of you retire to the sitting room.  Lucius will usually hold you on his lap or have you tucked into his side.  You either read together, talk about your day, or watch a movie (Lucius has a home theatre type setup, fight me).  When it gets late, he’ll lead you up to the master bedroom where you usually share a bath or shower (which can lead to sex), before going to bed, you held close to Lucius’ chest.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Once Lucius is sure and comfortable in your relationship, he’ll start to reveal things about himself.  Not all at once, more like when you ask him questions, but he won’t hide things from you once he’s comfortable.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Lucius has a temper, but he keeps it in check with you.  You do make him angry sometimes, but it’s never long lasting, and it never gets physical.  He might brood in his study for a little bit, but after an hour or so he’ll come out and apologize for being a bear.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) At the beginning of your relationship, Lucius is so dedicated to remembering every little thing about you, he actually keeps a little journal.  It’s filled with random things that you’ve said on your early dates, things like “Favorite color: blue, Hogwarts house: Y/H, had three dogs as a child: Kelly, Mary, and Pepper.”  Obviously, he doesn’t need it after a while, but he still has the journal in his bedside table.  The last addition he made was: “Likes princess cut diamonds, jeweler on 5th has wide selection.”

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) Lucius’ favorite memory of you is the first time the two of you had dinner with Draco.  The only thing more important to him than you was Draco liking you.  After Lucius had escorted you back home, he returned to the Manor where Draco was waiting.  “So?” Lucius asked, pacing nervously.  Draco just smiled.  “I like her, Father.  She’s not Mother, but I like her.”  He was so happy to hear that his son liked you, he couldn’t sit still for hours.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) He’s very protective, Lucius wants and needs to know that you’re safe at all times.  He’ll never stop you from doing something or going somewhere, but if there’s potential for you to get hurt, he’s either going with you or putting measures in place to make sure you’re safe.  Lucius loves you more than anything or anyone, he can’t bear the thought of losing you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) This man has the resources to make you feel like royalty every single day, so you’d better believe that Lucius goes all out on dates and anniversaries.  Fancy restaurants, expensive wine and food, and anniversaries and gifts are on a whole nother level.  Trips to Paris, Athens, Madrid, anywhere you’ve ever dreamed of going, Lucius will take you there.  His gifts are usually very expensive, diamond earrings, necklaces, bracelets, designer clothes, but they can also be sentimental: a book you’ve had your eye on for a while, candy from Honeydukes he knows you like.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Lucius can be a bit narcissistic, very self centered.  He sometimes gets so wrapped up in his own head that he forgets that he has a girlfriend who wants and needs his attention.  He always feels so guilty afterwards, apologizing profusely to you.  He usually ends up surprising you with a fancy dinner or seducing you into be to show you how much he loves you

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Have you seen the man?  Lucius cares about his appearance, like, a lot.  At the beginning of your relationship, he refused to spend the night with you, solely because he didn’t want you to see him when he work up; with bedhead and morning breath

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Yes, you’ve stolen his heart, and Lucius cannot live without you.  When he was away for a week on Ministry business, he felt like a shell of himself, like part of him was missing.  You feel the same, hating when you’re away from him for too long.  The thought of leaving him forever makes you feel sick, but Lucius is quick to reassure you that he’s yours forever.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Lucius has a very in depth skincare routine, and if he misses or skips a night, he’s blotchy in the morning

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?   Lucius can’t be with someone who can’t be serious.  Of course, he loves it when his girl lets loose and laughs, but in more serious situations, he needs her to be serious.  He’s all for being laid back and just having fun, but he feels there’s a time and a place for that versus being serious and sophisticated.  

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Lucius puts lavender oil on his pillow to help him fall asleep.  He has a bit of insomnia, and it takes that or 4-5 rounds of sex to knock him out

[gingermintpepper]

100 million years ago, I sent an ask to @nostalgicbookworm

requesting headcanons about a High School AU and after a ridiculous amount of time, I've finally gotten around to writing some stuff for it. It's Drolxinia centric, naturally.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

"I like you."

Is what he said, the scarlet of his hair a curtain that blocked the sunset from Drole's relaxed eyes. His honey coloured eyes gleamed gold, cherubic face scrunched awkwardly as usually delicate lips frowned in earnest concentration. And, in the end, that was what tipped him over the edge. The earnesty.

Gloxinia was a creature of cold smiles and borderline cruel words, a perfect blend of wintry disposition and welcoming charisma. He was rarely straight forward, a faerie's trickster nature given human flesh and forced to abide by mortal man's nonsensical laws and Drole accepted this easily. For all his contradiction, Gloxinia was passionate and where it counted, more dependable than even the ever rising sun.

So when met with a pale face twisted in genuine effort; vulnerability and ill-fitting openness blatant in the trembling of tiny fingers which valiantly clung to the empty packet of sunflower seeds, Drole did what any surprised yet undeniably relaxed person would do.

Drole laughed.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

He knew he was wrong but Gloxinia was not an easy person to apologise to.

He made himself scarce almost immediately, jumping off the roof and sliding down the guttering to save face then presumably running all the way home. It all transpired so quickly that Drole barely understood what happened, nevermind formulating an adequate response quickly enough to de-escalate the situation. His friend was smart though, he'd chosen Friday afternoon to make his confession and each call Drole made to him that night went straight to voicemail.

It wasn't that Drole...didn't like him.

In fact, he's pretty certain that he's been in love with Gloxinia since they were in primary school and the spitfire had defended him from a group of bullies. The image of bright bright vermillion had been burned into his vision that day, the tiny child who looked so frail that the girls all whispered that he was a doll whenever he left class with his back arched and scowl fierce. He'd let out a battle cry unlike anything Drole had ever heard and leapt at the biggest bully to scratch and spit at him. Naturally, he'd been beaten as well (bare fists weren't exactly a match for chairs and sticks especially not when those fists were about as large as a first year's), but they'd ended up laughing about it in the nurse's office later.

They'd been inseparable since then, Gloxinia a whirlwind of red hair and sharp fists while Drole contentedly stood by his side. Two misfits facing the world. David and his Goliath. Drole could've died happy if things had stayed that way - he never was a being particularly fond of change. Even after they'd joined secondary school, Gloxinia had continued to be a bit of a terror in his own right, too charismatic for people to be rightfully frightened of him yet too unapproachable for him to actually make friends. Drole's appearance kept the faint of heart away but his quiet disposition meant that even the brave found him uninteresting company. Gloxinia was the only one who accepted him entirely. The only one who had never been disappointed with Drole's truths. He'd accepted that Drole wished to dance instead of fight or play sports, he'd accepted that Drole was happiest in the middle of the botanical gardens on a cloudless summer afternoon, that flowers and butterflies and other childish symbols brought him peace.

He was the only one who understood everything Drole stood for - had stood by his side resolutely through every battle and struggle and Drole had laughed at his confession.

He sighed. No matter how he thought about it, he was unequivocally in the wrong.

"You could always apologise, you know?"

An unimpressed violet eye glared past his veil of brunet locks. He'd been so caught up in his thoughts that he'd forgotten all about Diane's weekly check-in which, naturally, led to the girl squeezing her way through his perpetually open kitchen window when she found the front and back doors locked.

Drole wasn't... upset at her appearance. Diane was excellent company, one of the newer members of the school's dance team, trained in both ballet and contemporary. Her energy was infectious and she was surprisingly sharp when she wasn't pretending to be a pure maiden from one of her endless fairy tales. She'd taken one look at Drole's ragged countenance and had firmly planted herself on his couch, tea clasped in her dainty hands as she tapped the open cushion next to her in invitation.

Even though Drole hadn't any intention of divulging his troubles to another soul - he had gotten himself into this problem, he would see himself out - somehow, Diane had managed to pry almost everything out of him before he had drained even half of his warm milk.

"Gloxinia doesn't want to talk to me."

Diane hummed, her cup long drained of whatever spicy smelling drink she'd concocted in his kitchen. Her hands were busy twisting his too long hair into something presentable, part of her plan to cheer him up no doubt. "That's fair," she said eventually, voice light even as her thin eyebrows scrunched in concentration, "I wouldn't want to talk to the jerk who laughed at my confession either."

He stifled another sigh. "It was an accident-"

"Doesn't matter!"

His fingers dug into the textured cloth of his upholstered couch, anxiety returning to gnaw at his stomach lining. He'd spent all night replaying the moment in his head in-between calling and texting Gloxinia like some obsessive ex-partner. He felt plenty bad without Diane continuously reminding him that he'd messed up. "Must you continue to bring that up?"

Agile fingers stilled, the warmth of her hands almost uncomfortable against his ear. She grew quiet beside him and Drole cautioned a look in her direction, freezing as he noticed the rueful smile on her face. "Diane-?"

"Sorry," she said and her fingers suddenly double in pace as they make short work of the remnants of the plait she'd been braiding, "I don't mean to beat a dead horse or anything, it's just--I feel sorry for him." Her hands drop and she pulls them close to her chest, bowing her head in a melancholy turn of events, "I can't imagine how I'd feel if I confessed to the guy I liked and he laughed at me."

With a huff, Drole uncurled his hand from the back of the couch to pat Diane's head. It didn't take a genius to figure out where her mind was and Drole wasn't about to let her get lost in her insecurities, "Harlequin wouldn't."

The blush that spread across her face was immediate. Somehow, she grabbed a pillow and ineffectively smacked Drole's stomach with it, mood shifting drastically again, "Why would you bring King into this?! I-I'm just speaking hypothetically!"

He weathered the pillow assault with a placid expression, waiting for her to work her wayward emotions out so they could continue speaking like normal people. Eventually she calms, hugging the pillow to her chest and pouting at his relaxed nature, "Anyway, that's why you need to fix things."

Drole blinked.

She gave an exasperated sigh, "You have to give your juniors hope! Everyone at school already thinks you and Gloxinia are dating, y'know! If you let things break apart now then everyone's gonna take that as an omen."

Now that...was certainly news to him. He couldn't recall any particular instance where his peers gave the impression that they thought he was gay. Then again, given the wide berth most students gave him, Drole supposed he didn't talk to enough people for that to be a provable truth. As for Gloxinia, he'd been turning down over eager confessions from both boys and girls since form one. He'd actually managed to gain a bit of a reputation for being unattainable which--and Drole clearly remembers this particular lamentation--only proved to make him more desirable.

Drole thought it was fair though. To call Gloxinia beautiful was to understate his beauty. Everything about him from his royal attitude to the neatness of his appearance to the way his secret smiles would reveal the cutest dimples on his chin and cheeks - it was all a certain degree of perfect. Thinking about him made his chest heat up, made him ache to call him again. He wanted to run his fingers through Gloxinia's pretty hair again, wanted to laugh at his dark jokes and feel the wind on his skin as they sat for late evening picnics. He wanted Gloxinia's hands pressed against his neck as those smart fingers braided flowers into his thick hair. He just wanted Gloxinia.

"I just want to fix this," he mumbled.

Diane grew silent for a moment. Drole closed his eye, tried to lean his head against the backrest of the couch and let out a stiff exhale as his head connected with the hard wall instead.

"What about Gerheade?"

Drole frowned. Gloxinia's sister was not a force to be taken lightly. He'd tried calling her the minute he realised that Gloxinia wouldn't be picking up his calls but instead of being met with her usual sweet voice, chips of ice had whispered into his ear and had firmly warned him against trying to bother her brother again. He shook his head, not bothering to pull himself up from the wall, "She hates me now too."

Diane chuckled, "That's impossible! Gerheade's too sweet for something like that-"

He caught her eyes, voice chilled, "It's the truth."

She sighed, finally seeming to understand the depth of the hole Drole had inadvertently dug himself into, "How will you apologise then?"

A non-commital shrug met her question, listless eye stuck to the blue phone laying innocently on the coffee table. He'd bothered the both of them enough to last the weekend and he knew Gloxinia enough to understand that he'd never be able to meet him on his own turf. He'd hate to do it, but the only option left to him was to wait and pray that Gloxinia's temper would subside come next week. "We'll talk. Eventually." He furrowed his brows at how unbothered that made him sound, "Monday."

Diane frowned, "Do you think he'll be willing to talk with you by then? Gloxinia's pretty..."

Petty. Prone to holding grudges. Unreasonable.

"It'll work out."

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 29

First time reader click here

Feels like this story is flopping. Is it flopping? Idk. This chapter is 100% plot and it is spooky. Cursed demon box. Helpful Stephen Strange and grumpy Wong. Hovering Bruce and Tony. Loki being a honorary Gen-Z. Found family but make it ✨superheroes✨.

"That's a lot to unpack," Peter stated once I had given him the bare bones report of the situation at hand. "Uh, are you okay?" The boy was obviously upset at my predicament, placing a supportive hand on my shoulder.

"Kinda?" I offered, making space for Wanda and Pietro who decided to join me and Peter, away from the arguing adults. The mission discussion - an absolute disaster - started as soon as Peter had walked in. Evidently experienced in such matters, the boy ignored the bickering and came over to steal me from Bruce's clutches to peacefully finish his egg sandwich in the company of his peers.

"I wanted to ask if I could see your memory of that time," Wanda meekly offered me a piece of candy. I accepted it - sugar sweet sugar, how I love thee so! The witch continued with a smile: "I think it would be helpful to see what we're dealing with, magic-wise."

"Sure," I trusted her. "Just don't scramble what's left of my sanity, please," All of us laughed at my remark as I laid down on the cold floor with my head in Wanda's lap. Her powers felt like small brain zaps, tingles that began at the front of my forehead and ran down into my spine. I followed her instructions and thought about the times I remembered, finding the box, placing it into my closet, the nightmares. I had a mild headache by the time she was done; no grudges against her - Wanda tactfully avoided my private moments and looked only at the ones containing the artifact.

"You've gotten really good," I complimented her with pure adoration.

"Thank you," She blushed, smoothing back my stray hairs. "That stuff is really strong. I don't think you should go near the box," She admitted. "And Doc should take a look at you. You have a residue left. I don't think that's good either."

"Well, fuck," I said in muted resignation.

"Press F to pay respects," Pietro joked in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

"Your luck is almost as bad as mine," Peter pointed out.

I scoffed. "Well, if I see any spiders around, I'll be sure to stay away in case they happen to be radioactive OsCorp runaways."

All of us laughed. Despite the grim situation, I didn't feel doomed. I was surrounded by friends and my boyfriends and my bestie who happened to be a mythical omnipotent god- welp, once again, I was getting too emotional. Once the adults were done arguing, we could start making sense of this mess and hopefully clean it up before the monster is out of the box.

"Mortals," I heard Loki scoff. The next moment, the Asgardian sat down noisily next to me, pout on full display. "This house is a nightmare."

His expression - or the accidental use of a meme - sent me completely, tension leaving my body via copious amounts of nearly hysterical laughter. Through tears and hiccups, I saw Wanda cackle with me and Peter show the meme in question to Loki, noting that he had been once sent to time-out on top of the fridge by Tony himself. Soon, all of us were laughing, much to the displeasure of the adults.

"Children, what is the issue?" Thor asked, irritated.

"We're just waiting for you to be done with arguing," I spoke before Loki could start bitching about Thor calling him a child. "Then I can show Steve and Loki where exactly have I buried the box so Stephen can take me to the healers and get this thing out of me or whatever," I pointed out the most logical plan of action.

Two long strides and the sorcerer was standing over me, boom-boom-whooshing and generally making very pretty golden patterns to appear and land on top of me. Tony and Bruce anxiously hovered behind him, both of my boys concerned and ready to mother-hen me. Ugh, so disgustingly adorable. Wanda's hand encompassed mine - she was nervous.

Stephen took a solid five-minute silence break before coming to a final conclusion. "Wong can get rid of the residual traces of the artifact's influence," The sorcerer announced curtly. "It's good you got rid of the artifact, a few more months and you would have started slipping into insanity if the magic within it was not released," He explained, slowly reaching out a hand to place it on top of my head. I wasn't sure if it was a gesture meant to bring comfort or another diagnostic test but leaned into the touch nonetheless. "Tell me, did you have any behavioral... Disturbances after...?" He trailed off.

I chewed on my lip, evaluating. "I honestly don't know. I've always been kind of an asshole," Honesty was the best policy. "Nothing seems out of order, sleepwalking aside."

"I see," Strange gave me a tight-lipped smile. "Perhaps, it was your stubborn nature that forbade the artifact from corrupting your mind completely. As evidenced by Captain Rogers, even undesirable character traits bring good into this world now and then."

That seemed a little bit hostile. I frowned, giving a questioning look to a frowning Loki.

"Speaking from experience?" Not the one to hold back upon witnessing first-grade bullshit, I withdrew from Stephen's touch, raising a sarcastic eyebrow.

Surprising everyone, the man laughed soundly, eyes crinkling at the corners. "I most certainly do," Shooting me a positively mischievous wink. I felt like I was missing something.

The room's inhabitants slowly ticked out in pairs and threes, eager to complete their assigned tasks. Loki had insisted on coming along to the sanctum with me, even almost getting up in Stephen's face, but Bruce - out of all people - managed to calm the Asgardian down, and together we convinced him his magic would be considerably more useful during the retrieval of the cursed box. Loki was worried - everyone with a pair of functional eyes could see that the spiky attitude was his way of showing he cared about me, which made my insides briefly turn to mush. I didn't expect him to take the title of my best friend so seriously and I definitely was not complaining.

Tony was the last to leave, jittery and shaky, clutching me like it was his last time seeing me, kissing me hungrily in front of everyone. The joke or two he made were weak ghosts of his usual sharp snark.

"I love you and I'll be back soon," I whispered into his ear, feeling him freeze and his fingertips dig almost painfully into my sides. Louder, I repeated: "Not planning on dying any time soon, y'all gotta chill. Let's go, doc?" I addressed the tall sorcerer who was tactfully pretending to be busy with his smartphone.

Wanda pressed a duffle bag into my hands mouthing "clean clothes" a split second before Stephen opened a portal and with a great deal of curiosity, I stepped through it, eyes immediately drawn to the dimly lit space filled with books and antiques. So many books, so many unusual trinkets. The chandelier that hung over our heads rivaled the ones I'd seen in million-dollar-homes of dad's friends.

"Follow me," Stephen extended an arm in the direction of a smaller door, "Please do not touch anything."

I walked a pace behind him, satisfying my curiosity by looking around like a child in a candy store. The air smelled different in the Sanctum, almost as familiar as Loki's magic but less frosty... Warmer. A dash of red fabric swished from somewhere towards me; I giggled. The Cloak of Levitation liked me - not nearly as much as it liked Peter though - so I brushed my fingertips along the fabric, greeting it quietly. Talking loudly in this building was out of the question. I felt like any moment, a disgruntled librarian would appear to chastise me for making noise.

"Strange," A short Asian man appeared, book in hand and looking none too happy. Guess that's the librarian... "I got your text. The room next to yours is prepared for the ritual," The man I assumed to be Wong gave me a curt nod in the way of greeting, doing a quick 180° and walking us back to a small but tastefully decorated room with a single cot in the middle. It was pleasantly warm, a small fire lit in the fireplace, willowy smoke of incense rising from a few strategically placed sticks.

"The bathroom is that way. I'm afraid you'll have to be fully nude for the procedure," Strange declared apologetically, pointing to a door hidden behind the divide.

I snorted, but of course, the weird voodoo shit would require me to be naked. Not that I was embarrassed or anything but still. Tony would have a field day. Locating a chair, I dumped my duffle bag on it, flying out of my hoodie and sweatpants in record time. My underwear and socks followed, feet unpleasantly chilly despite the carpeted floor. I ran a hand over the faint bruises on my hips, evidence of last night, fondly - either Tony or Stephen had left marks on my body and that was... It was great. I loved it, drugs or not.

I heard someone clear their throat and turned around, nearly cracking up at the way both men suddenly averted their gazes, blush riding high on their cheeks. I snorted: "I'm hot, what else is new?"

Wong shook his head, busying himself with some sort of a book; Stephen lingered, eyes fixated on the very same bruises. His tongue darted out, wetting the plush of his bottom lip, and damn, this wasn't the time to get horny. I shook my head and with that, the sorcerer caught himself too, mutely motioning me to lay down on the cot.

"Whenever you're done eye-fucking each other," Wong piped up sarcastically - wow, I liked this man already. Stephen grumbled something quiet and rude, provoking another snort from me.

I followed their instructions - shortly after the Asian man began reading - or rather singing - something in a language I didn't know, I felt myself fall into a deep sleep. Or, I thought I was falling asleep. At one point, my eyes opened to an empty room, a thin sheet covering my bare body, and a silence that made chills run down my spine.

"Stephen?" I called out. I sounded like I was underwater to my own ears. "Wong?"

I was met with silence so deafening, I had no choice but to sit up and look around. The fire was burning strong in the fireplace, several logs blackened from it as sparks flew. It took a second for me to realize it made no sound - there was no crackling. Something was very wrong, the dread was creeping up on me.

Very familiar dread.

With the sheet firmly wrapped around me, I hopped off the cot, suddenly noticing the drawings on my arms, my legs. I was covered in runes similar to the ones I had seen on the cursed box - and my memories weren't missing. As clear as day, I recalled messing around with the box, debating on opening it, taking it out of my room only to find it back on my desk in the morning, some serious Anabelle shit.

I jumped as the floorboards cracked somewhere in the house. Every logical thought I had, backed up by every horror movie I had ever watched, screamed at me to NOT go towards the creepy noise; like moth to a flame, I was drawn in and couldn't resist the unnatural urge to investigate it. On silent feet, I padded out of the room, desperately trying not to think about the lonely, dark hallways filled with strange ancient objects. My steps made no noise.

On the couch, in the main room we'd arrived, sitting lazily, was Tony. I'd recognize his hair anywhere - and the Led Zep tee, old, frayed edges and loose threads. "Tony?" I asked hopefully, trying to make sense of this...

He turned around.

It wasn't Tony. Whatever it was, it wore Tony's face, it held his brown eyes and crow's feet around them - it wasn't him. Wrong, like the lack of sound in this place, misplaced and unnatural. The doe browns didn't sparkle, lifeless, dull color of dried mud. As much as I wanted to go and bury my face in his chest, my limbs filled with lead, my whole body screaming "DANGER".

The impostor kept quiet which only solidified my suspicions. Real Tony would be running his mouth already, poking fun at my impression of a sheet ghost.

"Princess?" The... Thing asked in Tony's voice, but it fell flat and monotone.

"Whatever you are, you sure as Hell ain't Tony," I stated firmly, hoping for some answers. "What the fuck?"

Not-Tony's face changed, familiar features twisting into something sinister, the malice making me sick to my stomach. The creature stood up, causing my feet to take an involuntary step back as he advanced slowly.

"You have no choice but to submit," The Thing replied calmly. "You're not getting out of here. Not even your little Asgardian pet god can save you," Its tone was absolutely flat. I would have thought the thing was a robot if not for the obvious involvement of magic in this situation. Its words filled me with dread as thick as molten lava; unfortunately for the creature, unlocking my memories gave me enough rational balance to be acutely aware of it and therefore, able to fight it.

I could fight it. I didn't know how exactly, but I could resist it. "That's a really bold thing to say for something that... What even are you? Magical STD?" As my brain desperately focused on finding a solution to a problem I didn't know all the details of, my mouth had a mind of its own.

The creature growled, a far more primal noise than a human could make. "You don't know what you're up against, child. I am one for we are many," Suddenly, the room was filled with shadows as if someone had turned off all the lights and cranked up the moon to be the brightest it ever was. The shadows moved, oozed, motion sinister without any light to back it up.

I had no choice but to pucker up. Nobody was coming to rescue me; in fact, I always have taken pride in being a self-saving princess. Damsel in distress wasn't really my style. The hunch in my shoulders disappeared, giving way to a stubborn and stiff expectation of the upcoming altercation, hands bailed in fists.

"I mean, like Legion the demon from the Bible?" I recalled what little I knew from Wikipedia. "I mean, I'm agnostic myself, but if you feel like identifying with that, you should probably see a therapist."

The entity growled, shadows gathering around it like fabric on a string, and lunged. Paralyzed by sudden blinding, deafening fear, I turned tail and ran.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95

[gatheringbones]

[“O’Brien: How has it been, the “they explaining” and being out?

Bauer: You know so, for a long time, not for a long time. So after I came out I said that I was “pronoun challenged” and so I’d go to these meetings and people would sit in a circle and go around with their name and pronouns. And I don’t want to use she, but I don’t want to use he in my regular life. And I hadn’t really been using they either so I just say that I’m just “pronoun challenged” or “pronoun fucked”– just call me Jaime. And skip the pronouns, which you would think that almost nothing is more awkward than using they, but not using pronouns at all is even more awkward. So I tolerated, you know because most people don’t use your pronouns in your presence, they use them when you’re not there. I told Donna just use whatever pronouns you want, and I’m not there I’m not going to object to it. Because she had already told everybody in the world what I was doing and everybody that she knows, knows that I had top surgery and changed my name and all this so. But I really didn’t want to be in a political group or meeting all new people as well as some people that have known me for a long time and use she. So I really made a decision to use they, you know there is some special snowflake-ism to it but I’m more comfortable with it now than I was three or four years ago. And I really want to move away from she, and have people stop using she but I’m not really a he either. And so I just want people to gender me as me. Which is not so easy and is certainly almost impossible with strangers.

O’Brien: Could you imagine that opening up more in the future?

Bauer: So this gets back to the testosterone. So without the testosterone and being read as gender nonconforming as opposed to being gendered as male– although I get a decent male gendering, decent amount of that. I wish that it was as easy to wear male pronouns as it is to wear quote on quote “male genes.” And in this society it’s really not and so it feels, it doesn’t feel right for me to ask people to use he pronouns for me. Both because I don’t necessarily feel that he is the best option. And because again I’m not on testosterone, I’m not visually moving more towards– one’s visual looks should not have to match one’s pronouns 100% but it’s like do I want, how much energy do I want to put into correcting people’s pronouns for me and how much energy do I want to put into living my life?

O’Brien: I feel like how a lot of early 20-somethings have dealt with that is to just hang out in a gender queer centered community, right. To like form a subculture where non-conventional pronouns are intelligible to everyone. And to like not deal with the rest of the world.

Bauer: Yeah but that doesn’t work in real life.

O’Brien: Yeah.

Bauer: You know and eventually it will, and it’s like every year they gets a little bit more circulation and will eventually become something people stop thinking about. But I was– actually there was a little demonstration this morning Uptown at the Indonesian Mission about the 140 in Jakarta who had been arrested in a spa. And so I was talking with one of the guys there who is my age, a gay man, and he was like, “Oh, I know you use they but it just, it’s hard for it to roll off my tongue and I said, “Jay,” that’s his name, and I said, “Jay, do you want to be part of the problem or part of the solution?”

O’Brien: Well said. [laughter]

Bauer: And he was like, “I know.” I said, “you’ve got to– there was a point that people used thy and thou and now we’re using they and you have to roll with it.” And he’s like, “I know” and so like roll.

O’Brien: Why do you think that shift is happening? Why do you think we seem to be making some progress?

Bauer: So you know before, I said that there were all these people who were trans who didn’t transition, and I think that with so many people who are trans transitioning, that they are trying to find what feels honest and authentic, does not split up on binary and why should you use pronouns that don’t feel right, whether they are she pronouns or he pronouns? And why should you not transition because neither of those pronouns fits you? And so I think that it’s great for people to say, you know, whether you want to talk about a spectrum or continuum or a three dimensional space or whatever, to find the place they are in now with the understanding that that might not be the same place they’re going to be in in one year or three years or five years. And I was really concerned to change my name to pick a name that one went both ways, that felt comfortable, and that felt like I could live with. And the nice things about names you can either create one or you can choose from the million out there and the problem with pronouns is that most of the world only recognizes two and it’s not like you have to either be Dick or Jane, when you choose a name you’ve got but with pronouns– You know we have a very inflexible language.

O’Brien: Yeah. Are there other issues that I didn’t ask you about that you would like to talk about?

Bauer: No, I mean I think, I wish I could’ve done what I’m doing now back in 1989. I wish there would’ve been a way to do it and there really wasn’t. I mean, I would have had to create it myself. I think if I had transitioned in ‘89, I would’ve done a binary transition and I’m not sure whether that would have been good or bad. I mean I think I would’ve lost my job and lost my partner and had to have reinvent myself and start over and I’m not really sure that that would’ve been a good thing to do. I’m not really sure that it was necessary to wait as long as I did and I’m still really unclear why I had that snapping moment when I did as opposed to ten years before or fifteen years before.

O’Brien: You said you retired from MTA? When was that?

Bauer: Yeah. Like two years ago, but I’m still consulting for them.

O’Brien: And you’ve been able to, you changed your pronouns on the job, you said? Or your name?

Bauer: I changed my name on the job, but people sort of got, I mean some people asked me directly and I told them directly but it was like once I did that flip the name had to go and the chest had to go

O’Brien: Yeah.

Bauer: And that was really clear to me. And people were, by and large people have been very cool with the name. Even the people who have known me for thirty years and are over 50, and over 50 your brain just does not work exactly the same and it’s slow to accept changes but the one thing they did do on my job was every time someone slipped up, everyone else in the office would say “It’s Jaime.” Because they were so relieved it wasn’t them, who made the mistake. So I actually never had to correct anybody because the people around me corrected constantly.”]

NEW YORK CITY TRANS ORAL HISTORY PROJECT, Jamie Bauer

[kieraelieson]

Gilded Cage

BTHB: Remus who is Claustrophobic and Logan with Gilded Cage. Logan gets him out in the end but it takes a while... Too long for Remus to not be traumatised by the end. Oh and Canon-Verse! Prompt by @willowaudreykeyes

"Gilded Cage", taken literally, is 100% a gt prompt. Prompt by @enby-phoenix

(Set when Thomas is a teenager)

It was strange. Yes, the ‘unwanted thoughts’ had slowed to a mere dripping, rather than the stream there had been. But something felt off. More of Thomas’s ‘darker impulses’, especially anxiety, had increased recently, and Logan was also concerned about how quickly Remus’s contributions had been cut off.

And he was curious. It was a massive shift, if not in Thomas’s entire mind, then of the ‘dark side’. Anxiety had never had quite such a hold before, and judging by the times Logan had personally heard him, he hadn’t been prepared for it either. And then anger, apathy, and self-isolating tendencies had also increased.

But even more strangely, Logan hadn’t heard a word from Deceit in over a week. They’d been in touch, occasionally exchanging messages, and even a few short conversations. But recently it had been less and less, and there had been odd codes Logan had enjoyed attempting to decode, but had failed at understanding.

So now he stood at the door to the ‘dark side’. It was illogical to have such a division, but he was familiar with the tall, wide wall, and the small door.

Except now it seemed in odd disrepair, especially the door, which was splintered and slightly ajar. Deceit usually maintained the wall, and its state made Logan more concerned for his wellbeing.

He pushed the door open as far as it would go, and squeezed through the crack.

The other side was dark. And not ‘dark’ as had been presupposed, but literally dark. As if there were no lights, not even a semblance of sunlight through windows.

This made the glimmer of sparks that accompanied the loud exhale even more attention grabbing.

Logan spun, wishing he had some kind of weapon, and saw a very large bulk of… something. It was too dim to tell. But it was breathing. Living. Whatever it was.

His eyes gradually started adjusting, and he could see more vague shapes, but no detail. Another heavy exhale, and flutter of sparks, and it became more clear.

It was a dragon. A dragon asleep, chained around the neck, heavy chain trailing off into the distance. Even the sparks weren’t enough to let him see color, but he was almost certain the dragon would be yellow. That it was Deceit.

Logan carefully reached out, setting a hand on the dragon’s nose in a similar way to a movie Thomas had seen.

There was no reaction whatsoever.

“Deceit? It’s Logan. I hate to wake you, but I’d like to discuss some things.”

Nothing.

Logan frowned. He pressed with his hand, but still received no response.

“Deceit. Deceit!”

Nothing.

Logan even went so far as to hit him. But still no response. The breathing was slow and even, one breath every few generating sparks. There was no twitch, nor opening of an eye, nor disruption to his breathing to suggest waking.

“He-he won’t wake up…” a new voice said, startling Logan.

Luckily, he regained his composure quickly, and certainly didn’t fall onto the ground. “Anxiety.”

Anxiety saluted, looking around nervously. “You shouldn’t be here. It’s not safe right now.”

“Yes. That is what I was concerned about. What exactly has been going on over here? It seems much has changed, but without explanation or warning.”

The darkness could be confusing him, but Logan thought he could see a slight tremble to Anxiety’s shoulders. “Well… yeah. You guys said things had to change. Thomas wanted them to change.”

Logan nodded. “Yes, as a gradual process, as a part of Thomas’s growth and maturation. This seems to be different than that.”

Anxiety bit down on his lip. “Then… we-we don’t have to?”

“Don’t have to what? We’ve never required anything specific of you.”

There was a soft sound in the distance, and suddenly Anxiety was standing close to Logan, so close their shoulders pressed together.

“You-you’re a light side. You’re way more powerful than me.”

“That isn’t quite how it works, but—“

“Look, I’ll get you there, and hold them off as long as I can. But you have to do the hero part, alright?”

“I’m hardly a hero, that would be Roman’s—“ Logan’s words were cut off in a strangled yelp as he was scooped off his feet and carried quickly further into the darkness.

He barely knew what was happening until he was dumped onto the floor and there was the sound of a door shutting behind him.

He felt for a handle, but there didn’t seem to be one. Though eventually he found a light switch.

The light was dull, almost reddish. And as soon as it was turned on he heard a small gasp.

He was in a small room, and in the middle of the room, taking up much of the area, was a cage. Inside the cage was a table, a chair, and a cot. The cage seemed to be empty. Except for on the table, where there was something draped in a dark towel. And that something was rustling.

“Wr-wrath?” A faint voice asked, tremulous as if the speaker were crying. “Apathy?” The voice was too faint and high for Logan to readily identify.

“I am neither. I am Logic.”

There was a faint sob. “I-I’ve learned my lesson. I have, I swear! Please… I-it’s so small. Logic, please, I promise, I’ll hold the thoughts in, I won’t let them out, I won’t try to leave, I’ll stay right here, I swear I will, please!”

Logan still couldn’t identify the voice, or discover where it was coming from, unless it were under the towel. But the cage still stood between him and the towel. He didn’t see a door on the cage either. This whole room seemed made to defy logic.

“Please what?”

There was a broken sob, the breath hitching as if the speaker were nearly hyperventilating. “Let me out. Please! Let me out, let me out, LET ME OUT!!!” The final phrase was less spoken than it was screamed, and there was a movement from the towel, and a clinking like metal.

Whatever was under there, it screamed and thrashed, sounding far more than terrified.

“I can’t, I don’t know how—“

“LET ME OUT!!!” Any further words devolved into a long, howling screech.

Logan was frozen. Caught between his intense desire to do something, anything, and his inability to do so. He couldn’t enter the cage without a door. Nor could he exit the room. He couldn’t help whoever it was, and they were clearly both terrified and in need of help.

“Listen, you need to get yourself under control, if you continue to panic there will be a possibility of falling unconscious.”

“YOU THINK I HAVEN’T PASSED OUT AND WOKE UP STILL TRAPPED A MILLION TIMES ALREADY!!!”

There was another screech, their breath clearly starting to come short.

Logan glared, and swung a fist into the bars of the cage. Nothing happened, of course. It was infuriating, but it made sense, unlike the rest of this room.

No.

No.

The room did NOT make sense.

It was NOT logical.

It should NOT exist in this way.

The door ought to have a handle. The cage ought to have a door, and a lock, and a key hanging somewhere out of reach. The light ought to be bright enough to see adequately, and ought to be either red or not red.

Logan grabbed the keys off the wall, and unlocked the cage door. He pulled the towel off to find a much smaller gold cage, and a tiny Remus squished inside, kicking against the bars and screaming.

That wasn’t right.

It wasn’t Logical for Remus to be so small, nor to be caged. He was a necessary part of Thomas.

Remus stretched out on the bare floor, hyperventilating, with tears pouring out of his eyes.

Unfortunately, such distress was logical after such an experience.

Logan knelt beside him, holding one hand in an attempt to provide comfort without overwhelming him. Remus’s eyes fixed on his, wild and desperate. His breath caught, and he thrashed, struggling.

“Breathe out, as much as you can manage.”

“Can’t!” Remus forced out, and promptly gasped in more air.

“You can, you just did. Say something again, anything. Whatever you’d like to say.” Logan prepared himself for a sudden tirade of inappropriate language.

Remus’s mouth opened and shut, but nothing came out. His struggling weakened somewhat.

Logan thought hard, trying to think of something, anything, Remus could manage to follow while in his current state. And then he realized.

“Remus, you are essentially a figment of Thomas’s imagination. You do not require air.”

Remus’s breathing stopped entirely, his body going limp.

It was a long minute before he breathed in again. He made a very Remus grin. “I think I prefer breathing. Not as fun as all the kinky people make it out to be.”

Logan let out a long, relieved sigh.

The door suddenly banged open, and Anxiety stumbled in, bleeding from what looked to be more than one place.

“Lock it! Logic, lock it!”

Logan waved his hand, and both of the two ‘dark sides’, along with a sleeping Deceit, and Patton and Roman as well, were all in a facsimile of Thomas’s living room. They were all figments, after all. Thoughts. Able to cross the mind at incredible speeds.

Logan cleared his throat loudly, standing up on the couch to command attention from them all.

“I would like a thorough explanation.”

[leviskokoro]

Mari in Twisted Wonderland | Abridged Version | Heartslabyul

Chapter 1

Mari had her first prophetic dream and she’s like owo whats this

It was about Alice seeing the Card soldiers paint the white roses red and shit. 

But then, she was awoken by a loud knocking and wonders who it could possibly be at this hour. 

Grim and her decided to go down. Though, she tried finding a weapon first, just in case the person turns out to be some murderer or whatever. Manages to find a knife

They went downstairs to the front door and opened it to see who it was. Turns out that it was Ace. 

She relaxes and lets her guard down.

Ace: Is that a knife?!

Mari: Yeah, what if you were a murderer? 

Grim: Hah! I would’ve taken care of it myself, puny human— Huh?! You got a collar on!

“I ate a tart,” Ace replied, crossing his arms with a scowl on his features. 

Mari tilted her head in confusion and curiosity. “A tart?” 

He nodded. “I was hungry when I got back to the dorm and I found some tarts inside the fridge. Three whole tarts! So I ate one and it was really good. Then the dorm leader found me eating his tart and was all like “Tart theft is unforgivable! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” and that’s how I got this collar… The end.” He used a shrill and high-pitched voice to imitate his dorm leader’s words. 

She couldn’t help but stand in silence at that story, squinting. 

“Both of you are in the wrong,” Grim simply remarked with an unamused look on his face. To which the girl nodded in agreement. 

“Isn’t sealing away my magic for stealing a tart a bit too far?!” Ace cried out. “For a wizard, it’s like having your arms and legs chained up. And there were three whole tarts, it’s not like he could eat all of them by himself. There’s got to be a limit to how narrow-minded you could be!” 

“Which is why you’re both in the wrong,” Mari retorted, “You should’ve asked permission first, but he also shouldn’t be so harsh.” 

All he could do was groan at her reply. 

Grim’s eyes widened and he crossed his arms. “What if the tarts were for a party? Someone’s birthday, or something. Heh, I’m a genius.” He grinned, sharp teeth glinted in the moonlight. 

“Birthday?” Ace asked, placing his hand on the back of his head. 

“That might explain why he was so angry,” Mari said, deciding to clean up a little more since she was awake. The two just watched as she did this, not helping because they were little shits.

He huffed, narrowing his eyes at her. “I thought you were gonna say he was being tyrannical, prefect.” 

She shrugged. “He was certainly being unreasonable, but it’s wrong to steal,” she replied as she took a broom and sweeped the dusty floor. 

Grim glared at him, placing his paws on his hips. “You’re at fault for stealing his tart in the first place.” 

“There’s a chance he’ll forgive you if you apologised tomorrow,” the brunette girl advised him as she threw away the dust that she swept up. The wood under her feet creaked as she returned. 

“Grudges over food are the worst,” her partner remarked, an unamused expression on his face. His bright blue eyes widened in realisation. “Wait! I never got those tuna cans from the Headmaster!” 

“Fine. Whatever. All I gotta do is apologise, right?” Ace sighed. He looked at her with a glare. “This is your idea, so you better come with me.” 

All she did was nod. She was going with him regardless anyway. 

“So, where do I sleep tonight?” He asked, an inquisitive look in his eye. 

“You’re actually staying the night?” Grim crossed his arms. “Every room aside from ours is still a mess. Clean a room for yourself.” 

He made a face. “Bleh, I don’t wanna.” Then, he turned to Mari with a smile. “Prefect~ Let me sleep in your room. I’m slim, so I won’t take a lot of space.” 

“Aight.” 

Grim’s eyes widened to the size of saucers at her lax response. “Ffgnaa?! You’re just going to say yes?!” 

“I’m used to sharing beds with people.” Mari proceeded to have a flashback to every time the Demon brothers invited themselves to her room and stayed there without really giving her a choice in the matter, as well as every time she had to sleep in the same room as them. Honestly, at least Ace had the decency to ask first. 

“Sweet! Thanks, Mari.” Ace flashed her a grin. 

After that, they all went to their rooms to sleep. The boy was right, he didn’t take up much space. Plus, the bed was big enough for the two of them. Unfortunately, Ace hogged the sheets. The bastard. 

When morning came, so did the loud knocking. This time it was Deuce and he scolded Ace for getting collared. 

While heading to class, Grim teased Ace about his collar and not being able to use magic. 

Ace will remember that.

They went to the Heartslabyul dorm and Mari is like -surprised pikachu- 

She loves it a lot. The hearts and roses were gorgeous. If only she had magic, then she would’ve been sorted into a nice dorm. Ugh. 

No matter. She’d just have to work hard to make the Ramshackle dorm shine. 

Then they met the e-boy-- I mean, Cater and he was painting the white roses red. 

Mari proceeds to have flashbacks to her dream earlier. Huh. Maybe it was just a coincidence. 

Dude recognises them as the notorious first years that broke the 10,000,000 madol chandelier so he takes a selfie with them. 

He has them paint the roses with him. Grim accidentally sets the roses on fire, Deuce accidentally turns them blue. Turns out it’s a bad idea to ask freshmen that are inexperienced with magic to do your chores. 

Ace complained and asked why they’re painting them red. He said that they look pretty as white roses. Mari agreed and expressed that she felt that the natural colors of the roses were fine. 

Cater explained that it’s tradition for roses to be red for Unbirthday parties. And that they use flamingos in seven different colors for croquet with hedgehogs as the balls. 

Mari wondered if that was safe or ethical. Either way, this dorm was proving to be quite strange for her. 

Ace remembered that he was supposed to apologise. Cater asked if he had a tart of apology and he said no. 

Cater told him that he can’t let him in the dorm then. The first years tried fighting him but lost and got kicked out. 

The bell rang and they had to really rush to Potions class. 

Crewel appeared and Mari had a “Oh no he’s hot!” moment. She paid extra close attention to him during class. 

Then it was History class. Mari mostly looked at Lucius more than Trein but was also fascinated with learning the history of Twisted Wonderland.

 Then PE came around. Mari saw Vargas and was like “Damn he got some tiddies lmao” Then she dies.

Jk. But the 20 laps and 100 pushups were exhausting for her. 

It was break time. Ace and Deuce talked about the classes not being too different from regular school. Mari agreed that they were somewhat similar to the classes she had at RAD. 

Then they noticed Grim was trying to skip class. 

Ace made fun of Mari for losing him and told her that if she wanted his help, then she should buy him a chocolate croissant. Deuce wanted an iced latte. 

All it really took for Mari was to give Deuce her best puppy eyes until he agreed to help. Then she said she didn’t want Ace’s help since he didn’t have his magic anyway. This aggravated him into helping her. Heh, suckers. 

Turns out she didn’t really need their help anyway since she just scolded Grim into going with her, saying he won’t become a great wizard if he didn’t put effort into his studies. 

It was lunchtime and Grim got into trouble with delinquent upperclassmen over food since he bumped into them and the egg broke. One of them said that breaking the egg is the best part about eating carbonara. 

Which confused Mari greatly because she loves eating carbonara and has never ever heard of eating egg on it. Perhaps it was normal in Twisted Wonderland too. Heartslabyul was already strange enough. 

They got into a fight but won this time and the delinquents ran off, yelling about pasta again. 

The first year group started eating and Grim asked what the other dorms are like. Cater popped up next to them, surprising the four of them. Turns out Trey was with him as well. 

Cater basically just tried to get all buddy buddy and exchanged numbers. 

Mari told him she didn’t have a phone and he offered to go phone shopping with her and called it a date

She was just like “bro im fucking POOR” 

Trey told him to chill and they went back on track. Cater started a conversation about the seven dorms.

Time for Mari’s reactions to the other dorms

Heartslabyul - Ew. She doesn’t like overly strict people or environments. 

Savanaclaw - Haha, furry jock dorm. Probably found Jack hot since she’s into the strong silent types. 

Octavinelle - Sea Witch’s dorm, huh? Does that mean they’re business guys? Oh look, it’s that weird guy from the entrance ceremony that “wanted Riddle’s collar” 

Scarabia - The smart ones, according to Trey. There’s the guy who got his butt set on fire during the entrance ceremony and there’s… a really hot guy that’s exactly her type. His hair looked so long and silky and his eyes were mysterious. 

Pomefiore - 

Grim: there’s a super cute girl over there! 

Deuce: A girl besides Mari in an all-boys’ school?!

 Mari: Nah that’s a dude 

Ace: Eh? How do you know? 

Mari: I can see his adam’s apple 

Mari, internally: Shawty had them apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur-- 

So apparently Pomefiore is the “Beauty” dorm and the dorm leader has like five million followers on Magicam. That’s cool, but she’s more interested in their poisons. 

Ignihyde - Cater called the students of that dorm introverts. Trey said that they were good with technology. They seemed real neat. 

Diasomnia - Powerful and considered celebrities, as well as having an aura that makes them hard to approach. Though, Mari lowkey thought that about everyone except that one guy that got his butt set on fire. He seemed very friendly. Maybe it was her social anxiety talking, maybe they were actually just intimidating. Anyway, Lilia popped up from above and scared them. He basically just said that he’s not a child and that Diasomnia welcomes students from other dorms. So there’s that, at least. Though, this doesn’t do anything to extinguish the intimidating aura from the rest of their students. Then the strange dude left. 

Ace started talking shit about Riddle while Mari blankly stared at Riddle who was right behind him. Boi he ded

Riddle then went on with his spiel about rulebreakers. Honestly, Mari pretty much spaced out during this in order not to roll her eyes at him. 

Then he left to get two sugars for his lemon tea that the rules state that he’s supposed to drink after a meal.

Trey tries to explain that Riddle’s intentions aren’t bad and that he’s just trying to make the dorm better. 

To which Mari replies: “Sometimes it doesn’t matter what your intentions are. If you’re clearly making the people around you unhappy and uncomfortable without actual regard for how they feel, then that’s that.” 

And Grim said: “Someone with good intentions doesn’t randomly collar people!” 

They laughed, but one could easily tell that it wasn’t genuine. 

Then bam, more exposition comes and Cater explains what unique magics are. 

Then they start talking about tarts. Mari offered to help make one with Trey and Ace while Deuce and Grim wanted out. They only wanted to help after Trey said they could eat some tart if they helped out. 

They started chestnut picking and met Leona who was a fucking bitch because she accidentally stepped on his tail. 

Jk. He drinks his respect women juice so he’s not as mean and leaves her with only a warning for the most part. 

She and Grim got back to Ace and Deuce, they picked the chestnuts and got back to the Heartslabyul dorm to make that tart. 

Trey made his whole joke with the oyster sauce but Mari just looked at him with pure disbelief in her eyes. Then Trey realized he needed more ingredients since they brought too much chestnuts and Deuce and Mari volunteered to buy them from the shop. Grim also said he wanted to come since he was tired of mixing flour. 

So they go to the Mystery Shop and get the shit. Mari wonders for a moment if Sam has got anything that could possibly help her get home but then shakes her head, saying she’ll see about that later. They head back to the Heartslabyul dorm but run into trouble, then came the reveal of Deuce’s “Bad Boy” personality. Mari was like -surprised pikachu- while he beat the shit out of the delinquents, silently cheering him on. After that, he got upset because his “honor student” persona was gone. It’s especially bad since he felt that he scared Mari. 

Achievement unlocked: Deuce’s Backstory 

Grim asked if being an honor student meant that he should just grin and bear everything. Mari agreed and reassured that being an honor student didn’t necessarily mean that he should be a pushover. Then she broke it to him that the eggs were unfertilised and would never hatch. Now it was his turn on the surprised pikachu face. 

They bought another set of eggs and went back to the Heartslabyul dorm safe and sound. The tart was finished. Hooray! Though, Deuce was still shocked about the chicks so Mari had to pat his back. They started eating some tarts after Cater came by to check on them. He then brought up Trey’s unique magic.

Trey revealed his unique magic and explained it to them. They were impressed. But once they were done, he told Ace he can’t sleep in Heartslabyul and gave him and Deuce permission to sleep in the Ramshackle Dorm so they did. 

Next day. They got to the Unbirthday Party and Ace gave the tart to Riddle. 

Riddle is like “Fuck you. The Law of the Queen of Hearts says one must never bring a mont blanc tart to an Unbirthday Party! REEEEEEE” And then Mari wonders how many rules there are. He answers with 810 and that he memorized them since he’s dorm leader. She’s like “Dude, he’s a freshman, he can’t possibly memorize every rule.” To which Riddle countered with “I memorized them on my first day in NRC! If I can do it, then he should be able to as well.”

“Not everyone has to be like you!” She proceeds to have flashbacks to her narcissistic grandmother who always believed that she was right and demanded that everyone be like her. This causes her to dislike him. 

“As the dorm leader of Heartslabyul, out of respect to the strictness of the Queen of Hearts, I can’t ignore this violation. Throw the mont blanc and these rulebreakers out!” 

Ace started arguing with him as well and the two third years tried to help. Riddle goes on about how he has the highest grades and is the most powerful, which makes him the most correct. This makes Mari’s stomach churn more because of how much he reminds her of her grandmother. Grim says he’s a selfish tyrant who wastes food and ends up getting himself and Deuce collared as well. 

Then they get thrown out by the third years and meet Chenya, who gives them a tip to talk to Trey and unlock Riddle’s tragic backstory. 

And they did. Because it’s always a good idea to listen to the advice of a strange guy who pops into conversations head-first, literally. 

Achievement Unlocked: Riddle’s Backstory Part 1 

Mari’s reaction was that she sympathised with him and understood, considering that her grandmother was somewhat similar. However-- 

“His past is not an excuse for him to be a tyrant. Perhaps that’s harsh of me to say, but I still stand by it. He believes he’s right all the time and fails to notice how miserable the rest of Heartslabyul is.”

Ace put in his two cents and said it was Trey’s fault that he’s like this, dropping a truth bomb on him. Mari agreed and said “Friends help each other to become better people, not allow them to grow worse and worse.” Then he called Trey lame for being afraid of getting his head chopped off. 

Crowley pops up like “STFU THIS IS THE LIBRARY YOU LIL SHITS” and they said he was the loudest so he started whispering “stfu you lil shits”

They explained the situation and he suggested moving dorms but Ace was like “but thats a pussy move” so he suggested fighting Riddle to the death for the position of dorm leader. But without the “to the death” part. Ace and Deuce agreed to challenge Riddle. Grim wanted to go too but Crowley said other people from different dorms can’t so he got sad. 

Timeskip to the match and it was over in less than 5 seconds. Mari told Riddle that he was wrong but then he started mocking her and her family for barely being able to use magic and having a bad education and then called her completely inadequate. She just looked at him blankly considering that she didn’t particularly care about him insulting her or her parents. 

But then Ace punched him for saying that. And Mari was internally like, “I have decided that I love this guy”. Then he went onto this speech about how kids aren’t their parents’ trophies and that it was Riddle’s fault for not making a friend scold him for being a tyrant. He also calls him a baby. But not like the “uwu baby” kinda way, the kind of immature brat kinda way. 

Shit hits the fan and Trey finally had enough and used his unique magic to overwrite Riddle’s to remove the magic-sealing collars. Then Riddle fucking overblots. 

Mari is definitely surprised. Then noticed the creature behind him to look similar to the beast she and the shared brain cell trio fought in the Dwarves’ Mines. So, she steeled herself and ordered the trio to attack Riddle, especially once Crowley said that he’d lose his life if this went for too long. The third years came to help as well while their Headmaster evacuated the other students.

And they beat the shit out of Riddle. Then Mari kinda spaces out again and has this vision of Riddle’s past. This wasn’t the first time she has seen a vision of someone else’s past, but it still confused her. She wasn’t in the Devildom anymore, and she didn’t have magic. 

Achievement Unlocked: Riddle’s Backstory Part 2 

Then she’s shaken back to earth by Ace and he’s like “Oi, don’t space out now, dumbass.” “Did you see that?” “See that Riddle overblotted? How could I not?!” “Nevermind” 

Riddle is crying and she feels bad so she rubs his back. Her motherly instincts get the better of her at this point. He’s surprised at how she’s treating him, considering the only female figure he had in his life was his mother who was strict and harsh. When Ace started yelling at him, she scolded him and told him to yell at him later. 

“Ace, cut him some slack. You can yell at him when he’s recovered. He almost died ffs” “SO DID WE” 

Then he told Riddle to do the Revenge Unbirthday Party. Riddle agreed before Mari and Crowley decided to take him to the infirmary. Since she was gone, Grim got to eat the black rock again. 

While Riddle was recovering from blot, Mari took it upon herself to help him out. He appreciated it a lot. 

After the Revenge Unbirthday Party, Mari thought about her experience so far. The strange dreams, the overblot, the vision. 

Then she remembered something. Before leaving the Devildom, Barbatos pulled her aside and had a talk with her. He held her hand and a faint glow emitted from it before he let her go. “A fragment of my power,” he said. But she didn’t understand what he meant. 

When she slept that night, she saw Belphie and nearly cried because she missed him. Then she explained what happened to her and that she was in Twisted Wonderland. He told her that he’ll inform the others so that they can find a way to get her back, and that she should hang on in the meantime. 

And so she did, unaware that her adventure just begun.

[withteeths]

Maybe Steamrolling Games is Bad Actually

Videogames are unique in that they are inextricably tied to corporatism and have been since birth (this is an oversimplification but roll with it). This means that to an extent most companies even since the ’80s have never really cared about proper preservation or easy access to their titles. Nintendo carts were originally manufactured to have their battery die in 3 years so you would have to buy a new one (this failed, but it’s why you still see a lot of dead carts floating around). I think there's a nostalgia issue within the gaming fandom regarding "oh x was great back then" but a lot of the time, games manufacturers have been historically shitty and anti-consumer and it’s just that they now have the tools to execute it much more effectively. Regarding obtrusive DRM, that’s an issue PC games have had since their zenith, where if you lost your original copy of a manual or a small plastic key you could never play a game again because the codes were individualized for each copy and support would refuse to give you a new one. Even back in the arcades, there were particularly batshit examples like the CPS board, which I shit you not was built to explode a battery pack filled with corrosive acid if it detected you were attempting to repair or modify it. There’s a lot to say about the current state of games but what I would likely illustrate is that 2/3 major consoles are racing to decide who will be obsolete first. Games consoles are reaching a point where they are trying to emulate PCs with more restrictions and DRM. We're already seeing interest in steam spike again and it’s likely that eventually, we will see almost a crash for consoles where no one can justify the price for games they can play on a PC rig. The only solution I see there would be a merger between the two consoles which feels inevitable. 

That being said as interest in the PC space increases again so does attempts at entering the bubble. We have Epic, Origin, Microsoft, Indiegala, Itchio, and Steam all vying for attention, requiring accounts, and offering exclusives to justify the use of their storefront over others. Some people think this is a good thing because it's breaking up Steam's monopoly but it literally is not, if you ever really wanna hear me rant ask me about Leftist obsession with itch being some sort of ethical steam, which it is provably not. In the end, the real sort of saviour figures that work to preserve games are random ass people on the internet. I know people who automatically assume that at the end of the day, companies care about games preservation too, and they usually have a three-pronged argument that cites a) Steam’s ability to allow the redownloading of delisted games, b) retro companies periodically rereleasing titles for modern consoles in compilations, and c) companies doing limited reruns of a game that fans request. All three of these examples are basically an incredibly effective use of diversionary tactics, but most of the time when someone cites these I just assume it’s a misunderstanding and not outright malicious intent because a lot of the time companies will attempt to actively implant these ideas to build brand loyalty.

My main dissertation is usually that Steam is incredibly selective with what titles you can redownload, and most importantly, corporate benevolence is more-so a band-aid on a gaping wound! There’s no contingency for when Steam might migrate to a new service, go belly up, or become obsolete when a new OS is created. That means thousands, tens of thousands of dollars worth of games are just gone, permanently, along with fan mods, DLC, and content. It’s a terrifying thought that not many people bring up when discussing the problems with game storefronts that focus so much on providing a cloud and have DRM attached to every purchase. In a way, Steam preceded the trend of not allowing consumers to actually own the things they purchased, and they’ve avoided criticism by strategic use of silence and creating the illusion of a company being made by the consumers they’re attempting to serve. At the end of the day, Steam is a business, and if you ever lose access to your Steam account, or they decide to up and leave one day, you will not be able to play almost all of those games, even if you have them installed on a hard drive, because if you’re online, they connect with a server to ensure your steam account has the ability to play them. When it comes to other arguments like the limited rereleases or use of compilations to preserve arcade titles, I usually just beg people to look at community-driven options that have existed for years. The Scott Pilgrim game is a big source of contention, but I would point out that for years now, it was playable, for free, with all the DLC, on PCs. Preservationists didn’t wait for the gods of Universal and O’Malley to rerelease it for 30 bucks or save up to snatch the fucking ridiculous 200$ limited edition with shitty paper cut-outs, they straight up just did the work to make the game free and available. RCPS3 has (with a contemporary build) been able to run the game pretty flawlessly for years now, in fact, it was how I played through a majority of the game in high school on my shitty brick of a laptop. If you look further out than this one example then it gets even better, MAME and other emulation backends have been able to play obscure, unfinished, and homebrew titles with 100% accuracy, on almost any setup, for free, for decades! I found out about many of these options back in 2015 or so, certainly late to the curve, but I never really questioned as to why emulation, games preservation, and some key titles being available on PC remained some sort of arcane, unknown knowledge to most people interested in games. In the end, the answer was a highly effective propaganda campaign that combined with strategic use of DMCA takedowns has resulted in the concept of communal games-preservation and emulation becoming some sort of debate, where people will wholeheartedly side with corporations in some sort of quest for preserving things the “ethical and correct way,” which is code for preservation on the condition that it remains profitable for the IP owners.

 I think the best way to illustrate this would be with the community built around the preservation of an infamous PS4 title, PT. The story of its inevitable delisting from the storefront and the messy breakup between Kojima and Konami is well known, so I won’t regurgitate it, look it up at your own leisure. What is significant here is corporate reactions to attempts at preserving the game, which can basically be boiled down to Konami acting with borderline rabid fervour to prevent redownload, redistribution, or recreation of a seven-year-old demo, released for free download. Mentions of solutions to redownload the game have been taken down, fan-made recreations for PC, and archival servers that store a copy of the game for future preservation or emulation. Usually when this is brought up a debate occurs citing that technically speaking, Konami has a right to do this whenever they want, for whatever piece of media they believe infringes on their copyright. On one hand, yes this argument is factually correct considering the current state of copyright and ownership of media, but on the other hand, what compels someone to step into the ring for a multi-million dollar company with the primary argument being “well actually, people SHOULDN’T be able to play this specific video game until it benefits the shareholders”? In my opinion, it’s some sort of corporatized symbiosis where players believe that, if you cull the bad actors and play by the rules of the company, you may be able to eventually play the game a couple of years down the line. Sure, this has happened in the past with a few isolated cases, but it can’t be stressed enough that this is a genuinely dangerous and reductive position for people to take regarding games preservation.

 I have two colleagues, Mariken and Fotocopiadora, who released a short interactive title called Videopulp (playable here: https://fotocopiadora.itch.io/videopulp). It’s a dramatic reimagining of a real historical event, wherein a promotional event was held in 1994 at Lelystad to destroy bootleg carts by a figure in a Mario costume. This perhaps best encapsulates something I am pleading with younger generations to understand, as an archivist, art historian, and creator: corporations are not your friends, and they never will be. With the rise of online circles of leftism, this concept is starting to gain traction but is starting to be polluted with concepts of fandom and tribalism. This has lead to arguments that while *most* corporations are bad how could you say that about Nintendo? Or Valve? Mario is so innocent and characters like Wheatley are beloved by all! I feel some people don’t realize that they can enjoy a select title or character without enlisting in a corporate faction in the battle for “best company” or “best videogame”. It leads to a parasocial kinship with a nonexistent figure that was hand-crafted to ensure consumer loyalty to a certain brand. It’s depressing, terrifying, and should stand as a disquieting example of how the grip of capitalism on works of art has permanently distorted how we think and engage with media today. So, what’s the solution? As always I can never really provide something concrete that’ll act as a cure-all, only things that people in games need to work towards. Bring up conversations about games preservation, create archives for your own work, support archivists and boost their work whenever a new discovery is created, and try to promote optimism and solidarity in your hobbyist communities. I’ve noticed a lot of futility being intertwined with the future of AAA gaming, use of online storefronts, and the inability to own pieces of media anymore, and I feel this should be pushed back against, even in a minute way. Open-source programmes still exist that allow you to hold on to what you have purchased, offline and ad-free options exist for games launchers, e-readers, and media players. The future isn’t bright, but it is not a place without hope, and as long as people continue to enter communities with passion and ingenuity, I think we have a chance at stopping the events at Lelystad, 1994 from happening again. 

[angelkurenai]

Imagine having the ‘Wired Autocomplete Interview’ with Jake and seeing all the things people have googled about him and you, only to find more ways to flirt with him and tease him.

“Hello, I'm Jake Gyllenhaal.” the man smiled at the camera for the intro.

“And I'm (Y/n) (Y/l/n).” you introduced yourself the same way with a smile while adding “And we're doing a wired-”

“Autocomplete.” Jake added without you even having to look at him.

“Interview.” you ended, your smile getting even bigger when you heard Jake chuckle next to you, already knowing what was on his mind “This is like the perfect intro for us. You wouldn't even need to tell us, we complete each other's sentences on a daily basis like some-”

“Some old married couple. As Ryan says.” Jake completed your sentence once more with a nod of his head.

“Well, at least one of us is old enough, so-” you only shrugged, looking completely serious at the camera and without even having to glance at the blue-eyed man next to you, you knew he was giving you a look so in the end you burst in laughter.

“Ouch!” he placed a hand over his heart “My heart, no, my heart is bleeding! Ah they were not wrong when they said that love hurts.”

“Alright you drama queen, stop hanging out with Ryan and you'll be just fine.” you chuckled at his small act and he grinned as well “Now time for the interview!”

“We'd like you to answer this one question first, before you get the cards.” the person in charge said behind the camera and you nodded your head a bit “Have you ever googled your own name?”

“Googled your own name?” Jake pursed his lips nodding his head with a thoughtful look on his face “I think everybody has at some point, right?” he turned to look at you, comfortable in his chair as you still thought about it.

“Googled my own name. No.” you shook your head looking back at the camera “No I don't think I have googled my own name. Goggled Jake's name? Hell yeah! You bet!” you said so casually your made the blue-eyed man laugh in surprise “I spend hours upon hours googling this dude. So a warning: Half of the questions will be things I searched!”

“I'm-” he still couldn't even breathe properly because of all the laughter “I don't know if I want to ask whether you're joking or not.”

“Do I look like I'm joking, Gyllenhaal?” you raised an eyebrow at him smirking “What you don't want to know is the things I've googled.” you laughed “No, I'm kidding. I have googled your, I won't lie about that, but I think it was back when I was first getting started and I stumbled upon a movie of yours.”

“Oh, makes sense, yes.” he nodded his head “I'd admit I've done it too and it's how I became a huge fan but this will be out on the internet and Ryan won't let me hear the end of it, so... yeah.”

“Alright, we're good. We can get started now, here's the first card.”

“Oh you've played this game before, right? You were with Ryan too, weren't you?” you asked your co-star, taking hold of the first card.

“Yes, yes we have. You've seen it? How were we? I think I've completely forgotten.”

“Oh you-” you shrugged “You sucked.” you looked him seriously in the eyes “Just kidding. Kidding.” you chuckled “Alright... maybe I'm not. But hey, that's a good thing. How much worse can it be this time? Plus, I'm not Ryan and that makes everything 100 times better.”

“I guess it did show our- how do you say it? Our energy.”

“Yeah. That's for sure, I agree: 100% chaotic.” you shrugged, grinning casually while he looked hopelessly at the camera “Alright, onto the actual interview now cause this will get out of hand real soon.” you looked at the card “Oh I see it has your name. So I'll do yours and you do mine, yeah?”

“Sounds about good enough.” he nodded his head before you both looked at the card.

“Is Jake Gyllenhaal-” you pealed the first sticker “In the MCU?” you both nodded your heads as you spoke “Pretty easy. Yes, yes he is. He is Quentin Beck or better known as Mysterio or better known as that little shit in the new Spider-man movie you don't know if you want to love or hate.” you said matter-of-fact with a smirk, glancing at Jake when he laughed “Yeah I suppose you know what character I mean by now. Anyway, I remember I had to drag him to audition for the movie. I said either he auditions or he sleeps on the couch for the rest of the month.He complained like a little kid at first but really what other choice did he have? I could torture him even worse if I wanted to and he knows it. In the end he definitely enjoyed it, though. Don't deny it, Gyllenhaal.”

“I won't, really I won't.” he said when he recovered from his laughter “It was uhm a unique experience that you won't get to live every day, let me tell you, and the character himself is one that in many ways is similar to the kind of characters I want to portray and chose to portray. He is definitely a character to remember and one I will remember for a long time. Plus, we had so much fun on set that it made it all ten times more worth it.”

“Would you say you liked it that much as to play Quentin again?” you asked, leaning back in your chair.

“Oh yeah, yeah absolutely.  I had such a great time, I think doing a Marvel movie as Quentin again would be lots of fun!”

“And then he got to be Quentin in a movie with Deadpool.” you looked at the camera with a grin “And regretted everything he said that day.”

“Don't give them any ideas! Don't!” he said with wide eyes, unable to hold back his laughter though.

“Ryan will be visiting Kevin very soon I predict.” you giggled “Oh that's a movie I'd pay millions to see. But since I can't have it now yet, let's see the next one. Is- Oh this one's tricky. Is-” you pealed the sticker “Oh (Y/n) (Y/l/n) the reason why Jake Gyllenhaal auditioned for 'Light between oceans'? Oh alright-” you laughed “First, how did you google such a thing? This is a whole sentence. And second, I want to hear it from you Gyllenhaal, this is an interesting one. Am I?” you smirked, looking back at Jake.

“Alright, so there's actually a story about this.” his laugh was less nervous than you expected “I did admit I had been a fan for years and of course Ryan knew it and he wouldn't miss a chance to try to point it out. So uhm the promotional tour for the movie 'Life' which I did with him around the same time was no more than a month right after our movie and as you might expect he had to mention it every time we had an interview. One time a question came up about 'Light between oceans' and, well, leave it to Ryan to say that I auditioned for it because I knew you'd be my costar. Which-” he laughed a bit “I have to admit it was true, but I didn't give him the satisfaction back then by saying that yes I wanted to work with you on project that much. And after that it sort of became a big thing, I think, hence the google search.”

“How come I haven't heard of that before? I mean what the hell, I could have used that to my advantage!” you grinned even though Jake shook his head next to you “I think I should keep up with the net more.”

“What about you? Why did you audition for the movie? I don't think we ever talked about that.”

“Oh for me it was even easier. I saw 'making out' and 'Jake Gyllenhaal' in one sentence and I was immediately like-” you snapped your fingers “I'm in!” you shrugged innocently, only to make Jake double in laughter “It was that easy for me. I didn't even care to find out about the plot. I think I remembered to read it about a day before filming started. Let's be honest, I'm just in it to make out with Jake, don't thin I even remember any of my lines now. I only went in to be able to kiss this guy and let me tell you I didn't regret it one bit.”

“That's-” Jake started but pressed his lips as he tried to fight his laughter, or even a smile, but much as he tried he was failing miserably “An interesting reason, I must admit. Certainly good to know.” he glanced at you from the corner of his eyes and you giggled shaking your head.

“Much as I'd like to ask-” you cleared your throat, looking back at the board “I think we're going to get a lot out of this interview so the next one: Is Jake Gyllenhaal... real?” you both snorted “Wow now this! This is something I've googled. You know what?” you glanced at Jake before looking straight at the camera “I don't even know. I keep asking myself the same thing all the time, still no answer. Some would argue, namely Ryan, but-”

“We all know what Ryan would say, so let's just skip that part.” Jake completed your sentence.

“Yes, let's.” you agreed “Ok the next one. Is Jake Gyllenhaal... an actor?” you snickered while Jake made a funny face “Wow someone out there is having some serious doubts about your entire existence buddy.”

“What's up with that? Why am I getting all these weird questions?” he looked at the camera, his voice coming out slightly high pitched “Yes, yes I am an actor... I think. Or at least I try to be, for five minutes. Once a week.”

You laughed as he snickered “Come on! Yes-” you turned to the camera “Yes he is, and an incredible one at that. Whatever Ryan Reynolds tells you after this is a lie because he is jealous and on the occasion a mean little shit. Let me tell you that all jokes aside and I'm 100% serious when I say Jake might as well be one of the best if not the best actor I've had the pleasure to work with in my entire life.”

“Wow, I think I'm going to cry.” he said a bit jokingly but you could also tell there was sincerity in his words “Nobody has ever been that nice to me since I was a baby.” but of course his words were still funny so you couldn't hold back a laugh.

“Alright let's move onto the next one because we've got so many cards left. Ok the last one: Is Jake Gyllenhaal... single? Wow straight to the point huh? Now this-”

“Did you- Did you google this?” he grinned and you laughed.

“Wouldn't you like to know huh?” you winked at him “No, see, I didn't need to. You guys out there though-” you smirked at the camera “You really wanna know huh?”

“I'd like to see you answer this one.” he eased back in his seat.

“Easy.” you shrugged casually before looking back at the camera “No. He's mine. Sorry.” your smile was far from innocent, especially as Jake burst into laughter next to you.

“Have something to say, Gyllenhaal?” you raised an eyebrow at him and he raised his arms in surrender.

“No, no I definitely don't. If you say so, who am I to say no?”

“Gad to hear that. So there you have it.” you grinned at the camera before getting rid of the first card “Onto the next one!”

“Oh it's going to be a long interview!”

[kfpaddle]

How To Come Up With Excellent Invention Ideas

Learning how to come up with good invention concepts that are within your budget plan to prototype and maker is not constantly a very easy job.

The reality is that I have actually been an inventor for greater than twenty years and even I in some cases do not know exactly how to come up with excellent invention ideas. It is a matter of trial and error integrated with little expertise in the prospective market.

Product Ideas You Can Invent

Family Pet Related Products

Camera Accessories

Automotive Add-on

High Priced Innovation Products

Searching Equipment

Diving related items

Boating Devices

Golf Products

Sporting Item

Outdoor camping Equipment

High-End Home Items

Motorcycle Accessories

Bicycle Tools

Exercise Devices

Construction Devices

ToolsAnd there are hundreds of even more categories you can discover.

Find Markets With Money

Just bear in mind to choose a specific niche market for your invention that has a customer base of people prepared to invest cash. This video clip aids discuss just how you have to think about the market first and also at what rate you can market your inventions.

Determine The Market

That's right, you find the marketplace where individuals are willing to invest real money on each item. That's typically somewhere between $150-$ 300 per thing in my experience and afterward, you invent products for those consumers.

You can find lower list price items to invent but keep in mind that you will certainly need to market two times as numerous $50 products as $100 products and four times as numerous $25.00 retail items. If you sell items with an average list price of $300.00 it won't take numerous sales to get to a million dollars in earnings. That is if you leave on your own enough earnings margin on each product you invent.

As an example, below is a $149.00 retail science task that I designed. The Sonic Levitation Equipment is a basic digital gadget that only took me a couple of weeks to create a construct.

This is a brand-new method of believing when you learn exactly how to come up with good invention ideas and not everyone will certainly concur with me. Just make sure you ask individuals that have created items as well as made cash like me before you comb off these recommendations. Certain you may have a wonderful idea for some brand-new clothespin or potato chip bag better but keep in mind that those products are very easy to copy, the market for dimes and leave little area for profit even when you might have the potential to market millions of units of the product you designed.

Also read: how does inventhelp work

Invention Truths

Obtaining your idea out of your head and also right into your hands is just the first in a lengthy set of actions towards ending up being a successful inventor.

Exactly how ahead up with great invention ideas is a bit more challenging than merely having a concept and also declare a patent if you intend to make any money with your invention. DO NOT get fooled by all those people and also invention business telling you that they will certainly aid certify your concept to the sector. In most cases, it will certainly never take place and also they will certainly simply take your money and also leave you with what you started with ... just an invention suggestion and also no final product or model.

We all have concepts that we believe are the following billion-dollar chance, yet the trouble is you require to make that idea a truth. The best suggestions for inventions are the ones that people will certainly want to purchase so that as inventors, we can continue to come up with more wonderful concepts.

The only good ideas are the ones that we get out of our heads and also develop into products. Transforming a suggestion into a tangle product is not easy for a lot of us. It's not because we do not have the abilities however even more from the anxiety of trying. Many people obtain hung up on this idea that someone is mosting likely to come and duplicate it before they even attempt to produce it. The weird reality about this is that you have already failed if you don't at least attempt to begin dealing with the invention suggestion. This adverse way of thinking is so impractical, and also I can not tell you the number of times I have heard it, as well as I see it as an excuse for you not to begin working.

File for a patent if you must

The next problem that emerges is an inventor assuming that they require a patent. While patents do play a crucial role in the invention process, most of us can not manage the costs associated with both submitting a utility patent and then safeguarding it ought to any person attempt to infringe on our idea. Often, it would certainly be less expensive as well as less dangerous if you just constructed your item and began selling it to customers online. The option is up to you and it is best to ask a patent lawyer what it will set you back to patent your invention before choosing.

If it makes you feel much better, head out as well as get an energy patent or whatever shields your invention best. You will certainly require to see a patent attorney, so be prepared to invest some money. After you pay all the fees as well as get your patent authorized, you possibly will be no better you earning money with your suggestion. The stats aren't in your support because a couple of licenses recover also their declaring fees.

Pretty much every one of my ideas has been duplicated. The trick is that by the time this happens, I have currently made my cash and moved onto something new. And that's the means you need to consider protecting your inventions. Become the leader in the marketplace by producing initial items and then maintain introducing more concepts.

Also read: InventHelp inventions

Offer your product worldwide over the internet

The web has altered the way the globe operates. When you're thinking of your suggestions, they must be things that we can sell on the web. That's the only location where we will certainly have the ability to be competitive initially.

As we expand, we may attempt to sell through stores, however, we ought to set up our business to make sure that distributors can do all that part of the job for us. We do this by supplying a rate structure that motivates firms to intend to market our items.

What's interesting is all the unrestricted possibilities of the ideas that you can dream up. I have discussed this a million times. You need to research the market first to see what other items are out there, how much they're costing, their quality, and also, most notably, just how much you believe they will cost to make. The truth is that you can develop an endless number of suggestions. For you to produce the prototype and afterward make your first one hundred items of the item is another story.

Keep in mind, we constantly discuss the reality that you should just make one hundred pieces the very first time out. This way, if nothing takes place, despite just how tough you try to market them, you haven't lost that much money. I am not attempting to crush your desires. By only constructing one hundred pieces, we are lowering our danger to almost nothing. In the probability that your item achieves success, you can get even more stock very rapidly.

I assure you that even if you stop working on your very first invention, you will find out a lot that even the 2nd, the third, the fourth, or perhaps the fifth will become your big idea, your great invention. I understand that's discouraging to hear that it might not take place out the gate, however that's life

and also think of all the important things that you'll find out in the process. Even if you shed a few thousand bucks, it won't be enough to make you wish to give up your occupation as an inventor. It must inspire you to try once again!

Follow: InventHelp Instagram

The most effective concepts for inventors

You may be surprised to uncover that as an inventor, I do not come up with my suggestions first. I generally see the chance in a market where there are individuals with money to spend as well as not enough exciting items offered in that particular niche. If you do think of a concept initially, you require to dig much deeper and also ensure that there will be enough passion in your invention to ensure that it deserves investing your money and time into the concept. Without the potential for sales as well as a profit, there will be a little factor to introduce your item right into the market.

[rallamajoop]

So, I've spent the last couple of months getting myself hooked on the Witcher franchise.

Believe me, no-one is more surprised than I am – especially when I made it through The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt mostly on the strength of the gameplay, but largely underwhelmed by the plot.

So you can imagine my surprise when I gave the Blood and Wine expansion a chance, and it hooked me, grabbed me right in the id and delivered on almost everything the base game lacked. I fell for Regis, I agonised over the endings, I have a million theories about the villains, I just... yes.

And then I tried the novels, and my god, I think I may love them even more than Blood and Wine.... but let’s start back at the beginning.

Up until earlier this year, I knew The Witcher mostly as that game that infamously gave you collectible cards for getting all the female NPCs to sleep with you – not a great first impression. I tried the Netflix series, but bounced off it quickly. And then youtube randomly recommended me Joseph Anderson's  ridiculously long videos analysing the first two games... and found myself intrigued. The complex morality, twisted fairy tale mythology, the promise of decisions with real consequences and sidequests that only deepened the world and themes... that could actually be worth a play. Nothing may have come of this, but then The Witcher 3 was on sale on Steam, and I thought, what the hell?

Over 100 hours of gameplay later, I came away disappointed. Witcher 3 may have something to recommend everywhere except its overarching plot, which... honestly, just calling it a “plot” may be giving it too much credit, when so much of the main quest feel like meaningless fetch quests for NPCs who may be able to help you find some other NPC who can tell you about the real plot, which is mostly happening to other people. Very little can really change or build organically (tension included) since the open-world structure means the player may be doing it in any order. Then, at the end, you fight a generic dark-elf final boss, who’s had less presence or dialogue than many NPCs you can meet in in utterly optional side quests, then you avert the apocalypse somehow – which I knew might be imminent mostly because it kept coming up on the loading screens (you know, between other such sage advice as "sorceresses are infertile" and "Geralt can use his crossbow underwater"). How do you fill a game up with so much unnecessary padding and still leave the core conflict feeling so underdeveloped?

Don’t get me wrong: there is some amazing material scattered through various subplots along the way, but the setup and payoff in this thing is a disaster.

Still, the Steam sale had included the game’s two expansion packs, and the core gameplay was addictive enough that I gave them a chance – starting with Blood and Wine – and fell head over heels in love.

Everything about the expansion benefits from its smaller scope, delivering something shorter and tighter, with some great twists and surprises, no clear villain, and some truly agonising decisions towards the end once you realise you're not going to be able to save everyone. While the main game left me going eh, whatever, maybe I’ll youtube the other endings at some point, hardly I finished Blood and Wine once before I was reloading a save from the last obvious decision point and replaying the final chapter again (twice, in the same evening) because I so desperately wanted to see what else could have happened. Plus, Blood and Wine included Regis (Geralt's ridiculously mild-mannered uber-powerful-vampire BFF), whom I adored, and whose presence works wonders to tie the story and the mythology together.

(No, he doesn’t look like much, but his voice actor is perfect and his attitude to life and his friendship with Geralt only got me more the longer I spent with him.)

The base game’s inability to pull its plot together was all the greater shame considering how many genuinely brilliant characters you meet along the way (YENNEFER! Dijkstra, Thaler, Phillipa, the Bloody Baron, the Crones – the list goes on), but there were none I fell for the way I fell for Regis (and yes, I ship him with Geralt something awful, so help me).

(If you're curious, I found the a lot of the same strengths in the other expansion pack, Hearts of Stone, but felt it ended weakly, and was frustrated by how hard it pushed Geralt to romance Shani, who did nothing for me. Look, game, my Geralt already has Yennefer and his vampire boyfriend, there is no room for Shani in his busy schedule!)

Curious about the backstory (though certainly also tempted by the promise of more Regis), I gave the novels a try... and fell in love all over again. The first book (by far the weakest) is a bit of an introductory hurdle, but the second quickly sucked me in with its wit and humour, then ended with a series of magnificent gut-punches that ensured I was well and truly hooked – and hooked I remained, through the five more novels that followed.

This is not a series I can say much more about without also telling you how the ending broke my heart – suffice to say that it's not for nothing that so few of Geralt's companions from the last three books ever appear in the games, or that the world thinks Geralt and Yennefer are dead before Witcher 1 (they aren't, even ignoring the games, but whether they ever see Ciri or any of their surviving friends again is left hanging). But the games, for all their flaws, certainly do their bit to offer happier endings, and having got this far, I found myself almost immediately buying that one last prequel novel I'd skipped (Season of Storms), because I just wanted to spent more time in this world, with these characters (even knowing so many faves from the later novels wouldn't be present). And I think that's the sincerest rec I can give the series: I earnestly cannot remember the last time any fantasy novel series sucked me in nearly so hard. I’m left comparing its characters and world-building to Discworld, and that’s about as high as my literary compliments go.

I could ramble on for ages about everything that does and doesn't work about the games, and their convoluted relationship with their source material (so much of the story is woefully under-explained without the books as context, so much expands on leftover plot points that the books never properly resolved – while so much more contradicts the books in wildly irreconcilable ways). I have as much to say about all the great and fascinating things in the books that didn't make it into the games. And I probably will at some point, given what an absolute sucker I am for all that kind of analysis, but that's fodder for other posts (and competing for priority with half a dozen different Geralt/Regis fic I seem to have already started. Or possibly Geralt/Yennefer, or Geralt/Yennefer/Regis, or even Geralt/Dandelion – look, dude is shippable, I don’t know what to tell you).

In the meantime... I may have already started rereading the novels from the beginning again. And Blood and Wine ain’t gonna replay itself.

[gaiapaia]

Kermit and Friends: Unhappily Vaxxed

Kermit and Friends is a show that welcomes everyone. It doesn’t matter what race you are, what culture you come from, what religion you believe in, what sexual preferences you have, or what political party you’re aligned with. That’s just one of the many things that makes KAF so special.

However, it doesn’t stop at Kermit and Friends... the show’s host, Elisa Jordana, pretty much carries this mindset into her real life. She’s willing to be friends with ANYONE as long as they’re nice, funny, or interesting. Nothing else matters outside of having just one of those qualities. Bless her beautiful heart.

Unfortunately, not surrounding yourself with a likeminded bubble can lead to some annoyances, to put it lightly.

Everything in America is politicized right now. It’s been that way since a celebrity became President and the media started obsessing over him. Instead of COVID-19 being a health crisis, it became a political tool used by both parties to cater to their voters beliefs.

Since Elisa has friends on both sides of the political spectrum, she was hearing about it from every angle regarding the vaccine. From her Democratic friends, COVID-19 is the scariest disease in human history despite none of them actually knowing anyone who died from it. From her Republican friends, the vaccination was created to kill off the population despite none of them actually knowing anyone who died after taking the vaccine.

So when it came time for Elisa to make a choice whether or not she should get vaccinated... she had friends/family members telling her she was going to die with either choice she made. Imagine how nerve wracking that must be for someone who already has severe anxiety issues? It broke my heart to see Elisa so stressed out over this.

Elisa ended up getting vaccinated. I saw on her Facebook she was STILL being criticized by her liberal friends for waiting this long... it’s so ridiculous. Thankfully though, Elisa is perfectly fine. If you give 100 million people a Tylenol pill, a very small percentage of them will get sick from it and possibly even die. The odds of that happening though are about the same as winning the lottery (that also goes for the odds of dying from COVID). The coronavirus situation is a very serious issue since a small percentage of people dying or becoming seriously ill is nothing to take lightly, but it’s so silly how political everything revolving around it has become. Thankfully Elisa can put it all behind her now and not worry about it any longer.

Claire from New Jersey called into the show to announce he was converting to Christianity and accepting Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. Claire even said he was getting baptized Sunday night. I’m personally all for this, I think there’s a lot of good that can be learned from Jesus’s teachings and being a believer in Him. However, Claire took it a step further and said he’s joining a sanctuary of some kind and won’t be allowed back on the internet for the next few months.

This to me is taking it a tad bit far. You don’t need a community to be a believer in Jesus Christ. I also find the internet very helpful when learning about the Bible and Christianity as a whole. To eliminate it and instead go with a group led by some pastor or two is a mistake in my opinion, but hey... maybe this will lead Claire to happiness and fulfillment. I certainly hope so. His calls and presence in chat will be certainly missed.

Claire claims the place he’s going to is like a rehab facility so he can overcome his addictions to food and porn. Elisa hilariously took intrigue in Claire’s porn viewing habits... her questions made me laugh hard. Elisa also shared that Claire was the reason Sugar didn’t co-host the show this week. I know Claire had some critical comments about Sugar in the chat last week, but I was surprised to hear it had that kind of negative impact on her. Hopefully Claire will find it in his heart to apologize and sweet Sugar will return to her Kermit and Friends family very soon. We all love you Sugar and we missed you on yesterday’s show!

T-Bob and Kleenex had a spat on a livestream earlier this week and decided to continue it on Kermit and Friends. The fight on the livestream had to do with political stuff, and the fight yesterday was just them name calling one another. It was entertaining but nothing substantial I could break down and explain.

Their fight did lead to a guy named Mark Connors calling into the show. Referred to as Mark Cruz by T-Bob, this Mark dude claims to be a multi-millionaire and a former country music star who’s friends with Dolly Parton. How someone of this status can be so obsessed with T-Bob is baffling to me. He ranted about Bob in two separate calls for what had to be 15 minutes combined. Mark even brought his wife on the line to talk about a time when Bob supposedly threatened to skull f*** her, whatever that means.

According to T-Bob, Mark “Cruz” is a statutory rapist that got off because he was friends with the judge or something like that. Bob has made it one of his life missions to expose Mark’s allegations to the World, claiming he had news vans sent to Mark’s house in Tennessee to ask him about his legal troubles. 

Who knows what’s true and what’s false with these guys. All I know is that it has to be unbelievably tiresome to carry so much hatred for another human being. There aren’t many things I like about myself, but one thing I would never change is the fact that I obsess over things/people I love, not over things/people I hate. 

Kermit made 3 new awesome friends yesterday. The first was a very nice man by the name of Chip Baker. Chip is another one of Coach Love’s associates. He is the author of The Formula Chart For Life and he specializes in positive inspiration and motivation. Chip brought that positive energy to Kermit and Friends with a glorious smile and fun attitude, not letting the T-Bob/Kleenex stuff bother him at all, even offering advice to both men.

Laura Meadows and her handsome son Culver also made their KAF debuts yesterday. Laura is an actress that’s had roles in over 80 movies/television shows ranging from Law and Order, Any Given Sunday, and lots of horror stuff. Her son Culver was singing in the background when she first joined the show and later Laura brought him on to perform in front of the camera, but he was a bit too shy. I would absolutely love to see more of Laura and Culver on KAF in the future... both seem like extremely sweet people that exemplify the spirit of Kermit.

Sigmond returned to the show to give the greatest Rhianna cover you’ll ever hear when he sung her song, Stay. Wappy also beautifully performed Lady Picture Show by Stone Temple Pilots and Easy by The Commodores. Kermit and Friends is really blessed to have these two gentlemen and their amazing musical talent on the show every week.

To end the episode, Elisa played a phone recording of her final conversation with Andy Dick. It started with Andy mad at Elisa for the publicity he received over his arrest being covered on Kermit and Friends; then when Elisa defended herself, Andy went on this self-loathing tangent saying he doesn’t deserve her or anyone else. Andy then promptly hung up on Elisa when his friends started calling for him, pretty much summing their entire relationship up in 2 seconds.

What a jam packed show it was this week. There was a little bit of everything. I’m very proud of Elisa for both facing her fears head-on regarding the vaccination shot and for doing the show even though her anxiety/stress levels had been through the roof the previous 24 hours. That took a lot of fortitude and strength, and Elisa was rewarded with an awesome episode of Kermit and Friends that everyone enjoyed.

[96thdayofrage]

No, Biden, This Is About Freedom and Personal Choice

  No, Biden, This Is About Freedom and Personal Choice – Reason.com                

It's time to stop "states of exception" that justify government overreach into more and more of our lives.                                                                                         

There is every reason to believe that President Joe Biden's vaccine mandate for COVID-19 will not survive legal scrutiny even as compulsory vaccination for the disease enjoys broad popularity among the public. As former Rep. Justin Amash (L–Mich.)—like me, a pro-vaccine, anti-mandate libertarian—has bluntly noted, "There is no authority for this. This is a legislative action that bypasses the legislative branch."

The courts will almost certainly strike down this executive branch overreach and the sweeping new rules that wave away longstanding distinctions between public and private spheres of activity. This is what happened to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's eviction moratorium. It's foundational to American life that the president is not a king who can subject citizens to his whims.

Yet the most important passage in Biden's remarks reveals a governing philosophy that should give all Americans pause, especially in light of the massive and ongoing expansion of the federal government over the past several decades. After duly noting the "progress" made in terms of vaccinations, Biden pulled up short to say that we the people are just not doing what he wants when he wants:

This is not about freedom or personal choice. It's about protecting yourself and those around you — the people you work with, the people you care about, the people you love.

My job as president is to protect all Americans. So tonight, I'm announcing that the Department of Labor is developing an emergency rule to require all employers with 100 or more employees that together employ over 80 million workers to ensure their work forces are fully vaccinated or show a negative test at least once a week.

As Jeffrey A. Singer, a surgeon and senior fellow for the Cato Institute, has noted, COVID-19 has a "0.2 percent fatality rate among people not living in institutions." Fully 80 percent of deaths have occurred among people over 65 and just 358 children under the age of 17 had died of the disease as of July 29, 2021. We are not talking about smallpox, which affected all populations and had a fatality rate of 30 percent. COVID, argues Singer, "will not be eradicated" and will become a small-scale, endemic problem that should be minimized by targeted interventions to protect the most vulnerable. From a public health perspective, it should not become the casus belli for a radical restructuring of society and a massive expansion of presidential (or governmental) powers.

Vaccines are not only effective against getting COVID-19 in the first place, they virtually guarantee you will not die or even be hospitalized if you do contract it. Let Washington state's King County—where the first cases of COVID presented back in early 2020—stand in for the nation as a whole. Unvaccinated people there are seven times more likely to catch COVID, 50 times more likely to be hospitalized, and 30 times as likely to die. Age-adjusted death rates show the benefits of vaccination in unmistakable terms (see chart above).

The rapid development and deployment of safe and effective vaccines—a medical miracle that could have gone months faster had the Food and Drug Administration not acted as ploddingly as a wizened old draft horse—makes possible the return to normalcy that was promised in the early days of the pandemic. We are now capable of setting and enforcing our own risk limits on what sorts of activities we want to do. The information is out there and individuals, employers, and establishments can set and are setting their own rules based on what they want. If we don't all agree, that's not chaos, that's freedom in all its unregimented, varied glory. It allows comedian Patton Oswalt to cancel shows in places that won't follow his protocols while letting other performances to take place under less-stringent conditions.

As important, the "vaccine-hesitant" are hesitant for all sorts of reasons. Poorer people tend to be less vaccinated than average, and so are blacks and Hispanics and younger people, and, weirdly, people with doctorates. A flat, imperious mandate that doesn't speak to these groups' differing concerns will only sharpen political and cultural divides even as Biden claims to be acting in the name of national unity. This is already happening, as individuals and groups are becoming less nuanced in their responses and simply signing up for whatever political tribe they feel bound to. Hence, a sizeable chunk of conservative Republicans are not simply anti-vaccine mandate but anti-vaccine, and the ACLU, which only a few years ago denounced most vaccine mandates, has now fully embraced them. While done in the name of protecting "all Americans," Biden's mandate clearly escalates ongoing culture wars.

So even as he ends the war in Afghanistan, Biden beefs up the war on COVID. It's understandable, wanting to be a wartime president, whether the threats to the country are truly existential or mostly invented and overstated (as they certainly were in the war on terror). Being at war ushers in what the Italian philosopher Giorgio Agamben calls a "state of exception," which allows the leaders of nominally limited governments to suspend restrictions on their power.

Heavily influenced by Michel Foucault, who like the public-choice economists argued that power is routinely expanded using medicalized "helper rhetoric," Agamben was a leading critic of the global war on terror when Western powers, including and especially the United States, vastly expanded surveillance, police, and military actions in the wake of the 9/11 attacks—always in the name of defending a free society (go here for a video lecture I gave at Bard College on this). When his Italian government started one of the first and most draconian lockdowns related to COVID-19, he sounded the alarm again even as many of his leftist allies called him crazy. Yet over the past several decades, governments at all levels in the United States and elsewhere have squandered whatever trust and confidence we once accorded them. When it comes to the Covid-19 response, our official agencies can no longer claim the benefit of the doubt due to an ongoing series of "arbitrary, dubious, and ever-changing recommendations."

Yet rather than use persuasion and dialogue to get his way, Biden is invoking a state of exception as the pretext for issuing a massive expansion of his power over more and more aspects of our daily lives (Donald Trump, Barack Obama, George W. Bush, and other past presidents all did something similar, of course). We must push back not simply because of what his new order would actually do but because of the expansion of political power it continues and expands.

We want to live in a country and a world in which "freedom or personal choice" is growing, not constantly being swept aside as an obstacle to a leader's plan.