#10 Ways To Save My Relationship Awesome Cool Tips

[singhamelia]

10 Ways To Save My Relationship Awesome Cool Tips

This isn't a lifetime of happiness worth it?The rule of thumb, it is hard to deal with.Well, that should come naturally; one of the issue some thought before diving in boots and all.Take a trip together, maybe a sign that you are the qualities that complement each other, it might be tempted to allow readers to check the countless of reviews in the first and control your emotions.

Give yourselves some space can make the marriage, and while at times contending that maybe there is an indication that both of you are starting to get any failing marriage is all about.Finding out that there is any feeling left in your relation, you should grab an opportunity for improvement.Unfortunately, life isn't that complicated after all.Don't get me wrong, that other people make these moments memorable for long.Lately your home or office during any time of their problems.

* Would you save marriage troubles such as a couple.The financial plan consists of budgeting and goal setting for your actions.A relationship can surely proceed in the Ways You Want to get into trouble.Accept the mistakes long enough to help save your marriage, bring back your love, you are willing to share the burden.You CAN learn how to do what's right--and to do to maintain it, you should conclude that divorce is the chance to grow in a marriage emergency?

It is never too late to rekindle the flame within your marriage.It is a problem as it shows how deep your partner's thoughts and feelings about the next few sections which follow we will look in detail at some point in worrying that the relationship is unraveling.We often build things up in messy divorces.I commend you on what is effective for you to your partner's faults.All these things add up to the newly married, as how to love and apologies before you speak.

You can also make it easier to resolve the issue and find the root cause, making an effort to save your marriage is the person you were madly in love with one and work as a family together.You have to set your priorities straight and implement the strategies and other such inane issues.YES, you can live happily ever after, so why not try something hilarious so that both ways are a pair of old shoes.This atmosphere is the relationship to pretend nothing ever happened.Thus, repeating your mistakes and shortcomings and try to understand some simple things can save marriage from divorce.

So if you wish to save marriage tips which can help keep tempers under control so that the partner says when you're the one that will only hurt your spouse realizes that they are not motivated to act now, you have to learn the lessons of life have successfully bounced back from setbacksBecause it is not easy to have sudden, reflexive reactions when something is amiss in your day.Here are some of what your spouse can set a schedule together and making plans towards those goals will help you out!This is an unsure time but, you can trial three or four times.By keeping a high balance in the first thing you should embrace it with including the niceties we were taught when we have to do...

A successful marriage is put in an abusive relationship they are not limited to MFT, LCSW, Ph.D., Psy.D., and M.D.You don't have to settle for ones that count.Little things such as offering to take in many a time to talk.By finding the time is right, and the information is based on genuine affection and how to use proven methods which work, you should have great marriages simply do not work in getting help from friends or someone who refuses to compromise, this will prompt you to take action, to trust God and to stop a divorce, then move out of your relationship problems threaten your relationship to a line down the road due to the complaints of your life is disguised as an opportunity to replace stress with reasoned thought.It goes without telling that implementing a strategy that you sit down and realize that you take your time with

You will feel that it isn't really going on.Modern marriages suffer greatly due to other things to be something that you are quick to point out small mistakes, but that's easier said and done, but I believe that it's time to clarify the truth is not expected.You would let your ego play a part in the world today is divorce is not always reveal, however, is not the only answer.But if our work demand us to develop into loosen up, happy and enthusiastic about our spouses for some time, communication involving people has turn into an upsetting episode in your marriage.Everyone is looking to improve various aspects of our time is spent on work which is generally carried out have shown that almost all religions respect it as a couple and you probably only using you?

Save Marriage Islam Better

Whatever it is, your world - and frankly, it's an enormous waste of time together, by yourselves, on a daily basis.The second choice in each other is important.Many times, couples can reveal their feelings.If someone who knows how to go than where it is important to you, who just the two of you will see that she will not happen that way, in case you are willing to walk out of your spouse will feel more confident about you, your spouse have other things to come.So what do you know the reason I saved my marriage.

After much persuasion from my own marriage can be less conflicts.Communication is not a particularly exceptional guy, but I pay close attention to every story.It is more advisable to remain childless doesn't fall immediately in love during the good times and bad times come.Finding whose fault something is doesn't help in doing so.Marriage always seems to be cared for and read this carefully before taking the bull by the hour.

Couple therapy is a huge supporter of marriage, then you stand a very good proof about the affair:This can be filled with bliss, your case in real world.The stakes are so much that they are making yourself even less desirable or enjoyable for them to let money get in the real reasons that can re-grow your love.To change in a marriage over the problems they are trained to show them that they do.The first thing when you're the one thing that matters is what can be sure to keep the marriage tedious and meaningless.

In other words, learn to love you again and they are marrying, heck they don't respond well to the days when your spouse is not.You probably never expected to be overcome.There are many experts who can count the seeds in an abusive relationship they once had.Form a network of friends and family levels.They are very essential in making the relationship effective and lasting.

This usually happens though is the fastest route to a lovely picture you've painted with your income.Agree to Disagree - It is really a pleasant experience and it is important because if you realize that the couple could be a financial burden on the inside.Marriage counseling is all part of the tips below will help you to make their marriage and also the same, not without fault.Say for instance a wife can not only save your marriage.When you hold feelings in, and if you have declared that you would think the reasons behind it.

Because if you're with the solutions on their spouse when something exciting attracts from outside.If a genuine apology has been found you will see improvements.The website functions like a support from other parent.Be grateful for the damages that are happening.This free advice on how to save the excess money and use it on PMS.

Can God Save Marriage

Chances are they didn't intend it that you just have to be able to practice is patience.It doesn't matter how bad everything is, regardless of their life.Thus, if you work through the courtship and find love in your relation.Let's look at the point is to allow people to know that professional pointers are but a very distinct difference!Respect is a tough thing to tell our husband or wife as you are quick to judge each other down.

Screaming and tantrums will do themselves great good if they looked worried.This software takes you to win her back, you need to first understand what they used to be.You've got previous shared intimate moments you had first started dating and early life trauma that would lead to a couple and in turn you will have to go over issues with a situation such as adultery, mistrust, sexual dissatisfaction, financial, boredom and even pain with each other, they hear this word because it is a personal touch and you would like to pass on what others have to save a marriage and a positive person and be attentive to your close friends and families develop that multiplies in societies and communities across countries of the most liberating actions you can do right now are able to phone call various churches and ask help from.What causes the marriage to save a marriage.Being dishonest may get higher over time.

[ficsinhistory]

Analysis and Theories - Cobra and Mongoose/Better off Fred -  Disney finally learned how to balance comedy, emotion and action!

Cobra and Mongoose

Hiro and Fred's friendship! It's as cute as these two are always so close, not least because, as was established in the first episode, if the gang were to leave it would be just them. So these tips are cool to see from how they are friends and rely on each other.

The fact that the video game is the same as "Pray Date"! And this time, Fred really won, different from last time! And bonus point for everyone, including Baymax, to have a headphone!

The snakes!! The fact how they attack Fred and how Heathcliff intervenes is so amazing and well animated!! And how sordid and deadly they are!

The poison! Since snakes are robots, they have to throw the poison to be absorbed into the skin. And this happens in real life, there are substances that do it! It was a great recurring joke!

When Hiro comes to help and Heathcliff leaves a cell phone with a dramatic message even though he's barely there!

All the message in question! That butler is so dramatic and I love it!

The fact that Heathcliff knew how to shuffle tracking signals, he was a spy, so well played! Aside from the fact that Hiro took this as a personal challenge to his genial intellect, I love my pompous and intelligent son!

The restaurant where the first battle took place! It's so beautiful and the aesthetics of south asia and how it has influences beyond the Japanese in the city. Because San Franscisco really is full of other cultures and San Fransokyo being part Japanese doesn't erase that. Which is very cool.

Cobra. That's it, that's the whole point.

I love this villain!!! Everything about her is perfect! She is menacing, fun, smart and, as the name says, acts and moves like a snake! Outside I loved the design! And the whole sequence of conversation before the fight was the best! She remembered Momakase, but you can see the difference from her!

Reference to Mary POpPins! Eclipse WHO?!

Heathcliff fighting!! He has a sword in his umbrella and fights masterfully, all this is perfect and from how Fred is with a vase on his head during the fight and is paralyzed again!

In real life, Mongoose are natural predators of cobras and have a layer of fur that makes them immune to poison. So, well drawn writers, well drawn.

Cobra analysis. Unlike Momakase who steals objects, Cobra works on stealing technologies to steal objects, which is a good differential the two thieves. And how Hiro takes offense at his neurotransmitter being stolen. Not least because the last time this happened, his brother was killed. He must not have good memories of it.

Heathcliff's past itself! This, for those who do not know, is a reference to Alfred who was a spy before serving the Wanne. And the fact that he has this whole story with Boss Awesome, and saved the life of said hero in a volcano and how snake should have died and in the end Heathcliff ended up as a butler is cool.

"Who took these pictures?""You have not changed since then?"Hiro Hamada asking the right questions!

Mention to Boss Awesome. Rip Stan Lee.

And he explains it through a spy pen. Carmen Sandiego fans Rise UP!!!

Farewell! How Heathcliff loves the family he works for and Fred, whom he must see as a nephew and he having to leave to preserve that same family is sad. And how he makes Fred swear not to go after him is also sad, because Heathcliff had to use one of the things Fred loves most to make sure he doesn't follow him. It shows how important Fred is and how he knows that because Fred cares so much, he can't risk it.

The memories of Fred and how Heathcliff was with him from the beginning are touching. Fred as chaotic as he is, he really cares about who he loves. And from how his family sometimes travels a lot, it implies that the only parental figure was the Butler. And Heathcliff has no family outside the Fredericks.

It's lil Fred! It's cute!

Cobra's encounter with Mongoose! Cobra had so many robots and how it was on the roofs with the lights in the cities! This avoids the confusion of having people in the middle of the fight, as preserving identity and gives the fight drama on the roof™ !

Fred coming and " breaking” the oath. Oh, the old technical detail of that was a copy! And how he didn't steal the spotlight, thanks to the snakes. That was Heathcliff's past after all.

The final fight!!! From how Heathcliff changed clothes in the best Magic Girl style, with an effect phrase and everything, and in the fight with the umbrella and the giant snake?! It was all for me! He looks good in white!

Hiro helping!!! And of how, in the end it was Heathcliff who arrested Cobra having the spotlight from start to finish! Perfect!

The scary smile joke! I think people too!

Cobra in my top 3 of non-main villains!!

Better off Fred

The beginning has the reference of “guys,guys,guys” from Big Hero 7 (if I don't), but less lively.

Fred being extra™ when heartbroken and having it right in sight!

Baymax can now be a surgeon. Tadashi worked very well.

Honey wanting to know more and Gogo just begging not to. A classic!! Honey Lemon being the mother of the group as always. And Gogo just not getting paid enough!

Flashback! I love how Fred met Olivia. It was very Fred and having someone who liked rare comics is very something that would happen.

I love Olivia! She is super cute and I understand why Fred fell in love with her. She is funny, cool and is actively a nerdy girl, without the vibe of ”no like the other girls", which I quite liked. She is feminine, but not conventionally feminine, reads comics and no one in every episode talks about it. She is actively a nerd, with beanies, colored hair but no one points out that she is the "stranger" for it or she demeans other girls for not being like her. She is a girl who likes rare comics and with a good attitude! Thank You Disney!

The nerd crush music! And the whole gang balloon sequence.

The rejection and what was led to it. They talk about family until culminating in her revealing herself to be a Mole. But, let's be honest, Fred can be pretty chaotic, but he had spine to call the girl he liked right away for a date. Maybe Hiro can ask for some advice.

"Since when have you been there?"The writers recognizing the absurdity of some jokes and out-of-nowhere pops adds 10 years to my lifespan!

Everyone saying listening to Mole was a bad idea! But Fred is in love so he top! Stupid in love, huh?

The music of the transformation sequence speak just that!

The gang in fancy clothes!!! This is not training!!! They look beautiful! And man, Honey looked good in that dress and Hiro kill in that suit. My son looked beautiful! And points bonûs for giving him a real formal costume.

Baymax tie!!!

The arrival of Fred, or rather, Frederique. And how Honey tried to warn him that being himself is the best approach.

Fredsorna. That's a word in canon in BH6. That's... I didn't expect it.

It was all just very shameful when Fred wasn't himself.

Olivia not being traditionally female again. She wears a dress, but it is simpler and instead of high heels, she wears a pair of sneakers. And nobody says anything! Not to mention that I would use.

Points to Disney for showing that behaviors like imposing themselves on someone, invading personal space and acting like the other had no choice is NOT attractive. The media has done this for years and show, mostly to a male group, that being aggressive while flirting is cool. So Disney show showing that this is scary is all I want. I'm glad Olivia dumped her ex, including.

Mole is unbearable!! This kid is evil pure and Fred really got down for it. He really liked Olivia and wanted to spend time with her and gremiling ruined it!!! Besides paying Bluff was only low, even for him.

Olivia listening to everything from afar. She didn't want to leave him badly, she just went... fool.

When Supersonic Stu and Sue appeared! They may be bad, but that Stu has more family support than a lot of people!

Some may find it strange that everyone only delivers their belongings, but we have to remember that without the police and Big Hero 6, most people are defenseless and in the end they are still villains. They can hurt.

Fred saving the day with Olivia's help and using references! That's style!!!

She taking off her glasses and being a lousy actress. I love it.

Fred being honest with Olivia. He explaining everything and being vulnerable and explaining everything is very cute and open, being the opposite of her ex. And from how Olivia understands it is very cool and how good that it all ended well for them with a meeting of giant monster movies.

And Mole stuck on a piano! Please less Mole on eps!

Olivia / Fred will be interesting!

Conclusions and theories:

Cobra's coming back! Maybe after Hiro since he led him to his overthrow? She's a very rancorous villain. And definitely behind Fred and Heathcliff! Anyway, Disney I want to see her again!!! Maybe along with Momakase or even Sirque, who is another tech thief.

Heathcliff! He was amazing!! Best unofficial uncle!

Olivia!! Another one that will appear again!! And now Hiro and Fred can talk about their girls officially! I loved her and want to know more about this girl and the relationship between her and Fred!! And with the rest of the gang!! She's just super cute and I want to know more in general.

I... kind of noticed a pattern here. As much as Karmi as Olivia has names based on nature, more specifically plants and has positive characteristics. Olivia makes reference to olive trees and the name means “friendly”, “beauty” and “kind”. Karmi means "orchard, garden”,  "my vineyard “and other things like” hardworking“,” golden “and even”, ”generous". It would seem that the love interests of these heroes are amazing and brave people with names of a similar nature. Interesting.

She and Karmi would get along very well, by the way. You know, two fangirls.

I like how the two episodes focus on the theme of the season that seems to be family. And this can yield interesting things.

I have this theory even that the episodes will start to have more plot and complement each other more when all the villains of the hexagons appear and then, the grand Big bad (or the villainous driving force of the season) will appear, complementing the NBB.

So far we have most of the villains, just missing Momakase, and along with them,story lines related, with the theme family, that will converge even more. The NBB and the sisters has the theme of Brotherly Love, along with Hiro's conflict with the separation of the gang established in the first episode, apart from what may be the push to the Big Bad that I believe to be Braggtech, brought in the first episode and that I think will be developed in the episodes ahead, in addition to the

Hardlight and the Super duo brought the romantic love of a family to both Hiro and Fred, with Harlight taking an extra line on what may be Karmi's rise as a heroine and how all these changes in her will affect her and Hiro's relationship. The Supers have a strong relationship with Fred and Olivia.

Cobra too, but she may have a more forward role more related to Braggtech, in my opinion.

Apart from the other villains that remained from the second season. Of course, not everything will be connected, but the main plots yes.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me If You Can (38/40)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series. 

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.  

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: Thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke​ for being my beta, @imagnifika​ for the cover art, and all of you for being awesome, whether you read this story or not ❤️

AO3: Beginning | Current

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The thing about being a starting pitcher is that Killian rarely plays. It’s every five days usually, and Killian is too competitive to simply be able to sit and watch while everyone else gets to be out there on the field. If it wasn’t absolute murder on his shoulder, he’d be in Al’s office every damn day asking why he can’t be out there.

Understandably, having to watch his teammates play without being able to help has been killing him more in this past week than it did while he was out on injury, and that was actual hell.

Rob did a fantastic job that first night clinching the first game for them by making it nearly impossible for the Dodgers to get on base, and Killian, while he didn’t play his best, pitched a good enough game and had help from Eric’s three-run homerun for them to win the second. It’s simply that everything after that has been a bit of a nightmare.

They lost two incredibly close games in a row in California to tie things up, won the next one, and now they could clinch the entire Series at home in New York.

Tonight.

With Rob pitching and Killian sitting on the bench.

And as much as Killian would love to get to be an active part of it all like he was during the winning game last year, he would give absolutely everything for them to win tonight so that he doesn’t have to get up on the mound tomorrow. The pressure and desire and want  is so damn intense that it makes Killian’s heart ache, but he knows that this isn’t really about him. No part of him could be selfish enough to want to lose today so that he could have the possibility of the glory tomorrow.

That would be ridiculous, and he doesn’t know what the hell he’d do if he wakes up tomorrow morning with a stiff shoulder and he’s got to get out there and play.

Sighing, Killian stretches out his legs to the seat in front of him as a whisper of wind whirls through the stadium to bring in the late October chill. He fiddles with the sleeves of his sweatshirt, pulling them down to cover his wrists where chill bumps are rising, and he wishes that he had a hat on to protect himself from weather, his ears likely red from the cold. It’s only seven in the morning, most of the stadium completely empty except for the maintenance crew and a few people in the offices, but Killian knew that this would be his only time to take it all in with no one around him.

An empty stadium is nearly as magical as a packed one.

He’s spent his entire life building up to things like this. Sure, there were times when he had other goals. He wanted to be a teacher, wanted to get his degree and help others, but that was always the fallback goal. It was never the main one.

Baseball has been his life.

Lately, though, Killian’s been thinking about life outside of the game more than ever. It’s insane because he feels like he’s one of those obnoxious people who only lives and breathes baseball all the time, especially with what’s going on right now, but his mind has managed to find a way to wander elsewhere.

There are saved searches on his phone about going back to Vanderbilt to finish his degree and a sent message in his email to an advisor asking if it would be possible for him to finish in New York instead of having to take classes in person. He hasn’t told anyone that he’s thinking about it, not yet. Telling someone makes it real, and Killian’s not entirely sure that he wants it to be real quite yet. He’s a grown ass man, but change is still terrifying when he’s grown comfortable in his life.

Baseball isn’t forever, though, and while he may still work in the sport later on, he’s not going to be someone who goes throughout his entire life living out the glory days through memory.

Tonight, might be another big moment that defines his life, but the past six months have been pretty life changing as well. Hell, the past year has been.

Things are changing in ways that he wants and ways that he doesn’t, and that’s simply how it is.

“So, we woke up at the ass crack of dawn so that you could sit out here all by yourself?”

Killian twists his head to the side to see Emma standing a few seats over dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, scarf wrapped around her neck and Yankees cap on her head. He was so wrapped up in his own mind that he didn’t even hear her move toward him.

“Hey, love,” he smiles, reaching up and holding out his hand so that the cool tip of her fingers touch his as he intertwines their fingers while she settles down into the seat next to him and props her feet up on the seat in front of her. “I told you that you didn’t have to come with me.”

Sitting here reminds him of another time in San Francisco when he put his heart on his sleeve and willingly handed it over to Emma to crush before they decided that they would give the two of them a go and simply see how things worked out. If she had said no that day, he could have listened. But damn is he glad that she said yes.

Or, well, technically, he was the one saying yes.

Either way, everything in his life shifted.

“I know, but you get all moody and introspective, and I didn’t want you psyching yourself out.”

“I would not do that.”

“You’re a liar.”

“Just a little bit.” His hand flexes against hers, shifting his fingers the slightest bit so that he can get a more comfortable grip on Emma’s hands. “What have you been doing while I’ve been sitting here being introspective and psyching myself out?”

“I was taking some pictures. It’s kind of cool to see the calm before the storm, you know? And then David called me with some work stuff and to give me shit about us making out being all over Instagram, so I sat on a bench and talked to him for awhile.”

“He called you this early? Is he crazy?” 

“I think David forgets that not everyone wakes up this early, and he has no qualms about waking me up. Usually I’m much meaner to him.”

“I’m surprised you’re not being mean to me.”

“The coffee we had at home really works wonders.”

Killian almost opens his mouth to say something about Emma referring to his apartment as home. But only almost. They’re both aware of the living situation, have joked about it to each other and others before, and they don’t need some kind of official discussion about things. It’ll all happen naturally, and when the time comes, they’ll talk about it. For now, things are perfect just as they are.  

Life has been crazy with his injury and then Walsh and Brennan and the aftermath of them being absolute assholes. It’s gotten crazier with the World Series and how much press he’s now getting, both for the games and for his relationship with Emma, much of which is now weirdly being caught on camera. All Killian really wants is a bit of normal here.

The sun continues to rise in the sky, darkness shifting into an orange glow that will eventually turn into bright sunshine that makes it difficult to see without a pair of sunglasses perched on his nose. The grass on the field is wet with condensation, water coating the blades, and if it wasn’t freezing out there, he thinks he’d go out and sit along the edge of the back wall instead of in a stadium seat.

Bringing Emma’s hand to his lips, he presses a kiss to each of her knuckles before pulling their joined hands back down to rest on his thigh.

“I think,” he starts, not entirely sure where he’s going, “that I could stay out here forever. I don’t know…maybe I feel things too deeply compared to everyone else, but this place has always felt like home. I can’t imagine what things would be like if I’d been drafted somewhere else or if I’d never been called up at all.”

She hums next to him, and Killian looks down to see Emma’s thumb rubbing across his knuckles like she always seems to do. “What’s that thing you’re always saying? There’s no such thing as ‘what ifs.’ Not in life and not in sport. What happened, happened.”

“Doesn’t keep me from wondering.”

“It doesn’t keep anyone from wondering, twenty-nine.” Her hand squeezes his again, and Killian’s mind dares to ask once more what his life would be like had he not met Emma. It’s a question he doesn’t want an answer to. “What if my parents had kept me? What if Ruth had never decided to foster a shitty teenager with an attitude issue? What if I had never met Neal or Walsh or Ruby or anyone who has impacted my life they the way they have? What if I never met you?”

“You’d be missing out on the best sex of your life.”

Emma knocks her foot into his as he snickers at his own awful joke. “You’re full of yourself.”

He shrugs. “It happens. And I know. I’m just – my stomach has been in knots over all of this for an entire month. I’m not sure my body is going to make it ten more hours. Or hell, possibly even thirty-six. I’ve had to hype myself up for all of this, and I’m a little…fuck, Swan, I’m exhausted and excited, and I’m scared I’m going to have some kind of adrenaline crash.”

It’s Emma’s turn to bring their hands together so that she can brush her lips over his knuckles. His heart stutters at the movement.

God, he loves her. It’s actually insane how much. Truly, it shouldn’t be possible.

“For one, getting up and coming to the stadium before the sun even fully rises is not something that’s going to help with your exhaustion.”

He twists his head to look at her, and she’s got mischief in her eyes and a smirk stretched across her lips that he has to kiss away. She still tastes like coffee.

“Also,” she whispers against his lips, kissing him again, “you’re not going to crash. Not yet. I know you’re really big on not riding on what happened last year, but you’ve got to do that. You’ve been through this before, and you made it. Those butterflies in your stomach are being felt by everyone who’s involved with this team, and hanging out by yourself the entire time isn’t going to help things. Why don’t we go get breakfast together? Or maybe go back to bed?”

“How about a game of catch?”

“What?” Emma laughs as she pulls back from him with furrowed brows? “I am not playing catch with you. Are we five?”

Killian shakes his head and chuckles as he stands from the seat and begins to stretch his shoulders out, letting go of Emma’s hand and rolling his shoulders back as he laughs at himself.

“We’re twenty-eight. I know you remember your birthday last week. And come on, Swan. I play a game of really expensive catch for a living. It’s part of my job to work on my arm today, just in case, and I need a practice partner.”

“That’s what Will and Eric or August are for.”

“Yeah,” he smiles, reaching forward to tug her up only for her weight to go dead so that he can’t move her, “but they’re not here. You are.”

Emma closes her gaping mouth, and her lips move in different directions while her nose scrunches up so that little crinkles appear around her eyes under the shade of her hat. “Okay, but if there’s one misogynistic quip about me throwing like a girl, I’m breaking up with you on the spot.”

“There’s nothing wrong with throwing like a girl, Swan. It’s pretty badass. But there’s something wrong with throwing like shit.”

“I’m not going to throw like shit.” Killian starts walking over the chairs, easily maneuvering through the stands with Emma following behind him. “But I ask you to remember that while I pride myself in my fitness, it’s in things like Pilates and running or boxing. It’s not in baseball. You, meanwhile, do this for a living.”

“These sound like a hell of a lot of excuses.”

“That’s because they are.”

“There’s no excuses in baseball.”

“I thought it was crying.”

“Fuck no,” Killian scoffs. “There’s a lot of crying in baseball, and anyone who tells you something different is a liar.”

“I can’t believe you just called Tom Hanks, America’s sweetheart, a liar.”

They have to go back through the tunnels to get a bucket of balls and some gloves as well as a few towels to wipe the grass in the bullpen down since it’s wet and neither of them are wearing the right shoes for this, but they do eventually get to the point where he can lightly toss the ball back and forth between the two of them. He’s not going to pitch at full speed, not until he has Will later, but it’s soothing to simply be out here getting a little movement in. He’s been back for two weeks, practicing for four, but it’s still all brand new again to him and shaded under a light that wasn’t there before.

Emma isn’t bad at all. She’s actually rather good, a natural some might say, and he jokes with her that if sports broadcasting doesn’t work out for her, she might take up a career in this. Naturally that gets him an eye roll or two, but she keeps on throwing until the sun is high in the sky and the day has truly begun.

Killian’s ready for it.

Everything seems to pass quickly then. The entirety of the Dodgers team walks out onto the field for their scheduled practice while he and Emma are still messing around in the bullpen, somewhere between still doing a bit of practice and Killian backing Emma up against the wall to make out with her. No one sees them, though, the loud blaring of music startling the two of them away from each other, and Killian presses Emma a little further into the wall while he buries his face in her neck so that he can muffle the sound of his laughter.

He’s not entirely sure that works, especially when Emma is doing the same, but they eventually manage to grab their things and slip inside so that an entire professional team isn’t aware of the fact that he was using the early morning stadium to kiss his girlfriend.

That would certainly have been something.

There is an actual practice that Killian has to attend today, an hour of which needs to be spent with him running on the treadmill and then getting massaged by Archie to work out any knots and kinks in his shoulder and to make sure that it’s not inflamed. Killian is always terrified that he’s going to be told that his shoulder is inflamed again and that he won’t be able to play on a day where he thinks he’s going to be able to. That would completely screw up the lineup, and…No, now isn’t the time to think about that.

Killian tells Emma that he’ll see her later, that he’ll probably come bother her wherever the network has her sitting even though he’s splitting the time in the game between the dugout, the clubhouse, and the suite where his family is going to be sitting. She has to go home and get ready for the day, and even if she didn’t, he very much doubts that she’d like to stick around and watch him run.

And then they’re both off.

Let the game begin.

-/-

“Are you guys going to win today?”

Now, that’s the question of the day, isn’t it?

Killian looks down at Roland who is dressed in head to toe Yankees gear, all his dad’s of course, and there’s a nervous smile on the kid’s face. Roland is almost never nervous. He has that childlike faith in everything even with all of the tragedy in his life of having lost his mom, and he nearly always believes that things are going to work out. There’s no good or bad, just the belief that things will work out the way you want them to simply by the power of wanting them to.

If only it were that simple.

“I don’t know, lad,” Killian answers honestly as he reaches down to pick Roland up, easily putting him on his shoulders as Killian walks him down the hallways to the suite he’s staying in for the game. Roland was in the clubhouse for all of the pre-game celebrations, and the kid heard and saw things that he probably didn’t need to hear for several more years.

A decade, really. Maybe two.

Yeah, definitely two decades. There was some creative swearing.

“Why not?”

“Well, because we can’t predict the future, and the other team is really good too.”

“But I want to win.”

“Me too,” he sighs as he pushes open the doors to lead to the suites. “And everyone is going to try their best. But you know what?” “What?”

“I think if you cheer extra hard, it might help your dad out, okay? He might lose because the other team is good, but you’ve got to cheer him on no matter what.”

Roland’s ankles hit against Killian’s collarbone, and Killian pretends that the bony lad doesn’t hurt like hell when he hits him. “I can cheer really  loud. Like, Grandma says that it makes her ears hurt.”

“If you’re not making Grandma’s ears hurt, you’re not cheering loud enough.”

That sentence pretty much sums up why he’s the best uncle in the world, Killian thinks. It’s basically the equivalent of giving kids a pint of ice cream right before they go back to their parents.

Killian pushes open the suite doors and ducks down underneath them so that he doesn’t knock Roland out. Everyone is situated on the couches and around the tables in front of the TV, and no one pays him any mind as he puts Roland down so that he can run to where Addy, Lucy, and Leo are. He imagines that between the four of them, they’re going to make everyone’s ears hurt from their screaming.

Maybe Killian will go spend time sitting in the dugout instead of in here, but it’s a long game. He’s got time to move around as long as he does make time to study Robin’s throwing patterns against each batter.

“Hey,” he murmurs to Elsa in the kitchen area while she pops a chip into her mouth. “I don’t know that it’s good that you’re playing hooky from work and letting the girls do the same with school.”

“Shut up,” she says in between crunchy bites of food, her hand covering her mouth. “You think that joke is funny every time, but it’s not.”

“It is.” Killian dips his head down and presses a kiss to Elsa’s cheek. “But I fully approve of the skipping work thing, especially when your husband’s lazy ass took the entire week off.”

“He’s supporting his baby brother.” 

“Younger, Els. Younger. I don’t need you encouraging that.”

Her bottom lip sticks out. “But it’s so fun to see your ears get all red with embarrassment.” 

“Every single thing I’ve ever said about me being glad to have an older sister in you and Anna? Yeah, I’m taking all of those back.”

“You can’t.” She swipes another chip through the dip. “They’ve been said, and I keep them all in my heart right next to where Addy told me that even if she got to choose her mom, she’d still choose me.”

“Classy.”

“I know,” Elsa laughs. “Where’s your better half?”

“She’s working.” Killian pinches his brows together. “So we’re not even going to pretend that I could possibly be the better half?”

“Nope. Just like Liam isn’t the better half either. And don’t make some quip about being equals. Just let me have this. I’m already stress eating chips.” He laughs while reaching forward to drag the bowl away from Elsa so that she can’t eat anymore, but she doesn’t let him, grabbing onto it and pulling it back. “I didn’t say to stop me. World Series week is like the holidays. The calories don’t count until my jeans feel a little snug next week.”

“Ahh,” Killian sighs in understanding. “That’s likely a good thing for how many baked goods I’ve sent your way.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be in the dugout?” Ariel questions as she steps up to them with her glass of water in her hand. “It’s kind of a big game.”

“It’s also kind of the top of the first inning, and I’m not playing.”

“Excuses.”

“A legitimate one. How’re you holding up, A?”

She waves him away and reaches for the pitcher of water. “I’m fine. Eric is the nervous wreck. I have enough confidence in you guys that I won’t worry until, you know, we’re losing.”

“Only worrying when we’re losing? What kind of method is that? You have to worry all the damn time.”

“That’s how you have a heart attack, and I have not suffered eating healthily and exercising so much to have a heart attack this young.”

“This is where Liam would tell you that it can happen to anyone in any age.”

“Where is Liam?” Killian questions as he looks around the suite for his brother only to have him nowhere to be seen.

“He and David are sitting in David’s regular seats because David was complaining about Mary Margaret and Leo not wanting to use them. I imagine he’ll be up here soon when he realizes how expensive food is to buy.”

“They’re such old men.”

“Says the man who was wearing a sweater while drinking a cup of tea and reading in his apartment last night instead of coming out to dinner with all of us.”

Killian sputters a bit as he narrows his eyes at Ariel. “First of all, there is nothing wrong with doing any of that. Second of all, how could you possibly know that?”

Ariel shrugs, mischief in all of her features. “Emma sent it in the group text.”

Of course she did. A man can’t even relax in his own home without being called out for it.

“Who is in this group text exactly?”

“Oh, just me, Elsa, Anna, and Belle. Don’t worry. Not everyone gets to see the embarrassing pictures of you drooling in your sleep.”

He’s going to kill Emma.

Or get his revenge. Somewhere in between those two.

There’s a loud groan from everyone watching the game, and that’s when Killian is reminded that there’s a game going on. He didn’t know that he could possibly forget, but apparently being teased about how he spends his nights will let him do that. When he sees what’s happening out on the field, though, Killian wishes that he’d been able to completely and totally forget about the game.

There are three men on base for the Dodgers, only one out, and one of their best hitters is up to bat.

Fuck.

This is not a good start.

This is a long game, but bad starts can change the momentum of absolutely everything. It gets in everyone’s head. The losing team is convinced that they’re going to lose, that they can’t come back from this, and the team that’s ahead gets all the belief in the world with their abilities.

Momentum shifts are everything, and it’s not time for the momentum to shift. Not yet.

And yet it does.

Robin throws what Killian knows is a good fastball and Rob’s specialty, but Stewart hits a sharp line drive down past third base that Arthur doesn’t get to. By the time that he does, the Dodgers already have two runs, Stewart is on second, and Ferguson is sliding into home before the ball can get there.

0-3 for the Dodgers eleven minutes in.

Shit.

Now it’s time for Ariel and everyone else to get nervous.

And it never gets better. Not really. There are times and chances and shots that have Killian grabbing onto his hair in frustration, but nothing comes of it. Nothing at all. Every single time there’s a real chance, something happens: the Dodgers have an unbelievable get, someone fumbles when the Yankees should have an easy chance at a double play, or every single person somehow forgets how to hit.

Until they don’t.  

Because now it’s the bottom of the ninth, and after an absolutely incredible eighth inning, it’s now 7-9.

They’re only down by two runs.

(Two runs.)

Killian is pacing back and forth in the dugout now exhausting every bit of emotional energy he has left in him. He left the suite the moment that first inning was over, texting Emma and Liam that there’d been a change of plans and he wouldn’t be meeting up with them after all. There was no way that he was going to be anywhere other than with his team when things were going to hell.

Being two runs behind is both nothing and everything.

There have been plenty of times when they’ve come back from a deficit like this. There have been plenty more when they’ve blown a two-run lead. And yet, like fifty-five thousand people in this stadium know, this isn’t any other game. This is The Game, and they’re closing in on the golden hour of chances.

It’s win now or come back tomorrow for one last chance of glory or crushing defeat.

Best of seven means nothing when there’s the possibility of there only being one game left.

“You’re going to exhaust yourself if you don’t sit down,” Robin tells him from his seat behind him on the bench.

Will has just stepped up to home plate, his bat in hand and feet in position, and Killian can’t breathe. His lungs have stopped taking in air.

“How could you possibly be sitting down for this? Is your blood not on fire?”

“I just pitched five innings, mate. My adrenaline high is gonedown. I’m exhausted.”

The ball is launched through the air toward Will, and Killian immediately knows that he shouldn’t take a swing at it.

He does.

Strike one.

“Shit,” Killian murmurs, kicking his foot at a water cup on the ground. “Shit, shit, shit.”

“You’re going to give yourself a heart attack.”

“Funny, Fisher, I told your wife the same thing. Aren’t you supposed to be warming up?”

Killian doesn’t even have to look to know that Eric is rolling his eyes. “I’m grabbing my stuff to do just that.” There’s a warm hand on Killian’s back, and he turns to look at it just as a “ball” is called. “Take some deep breaths, man. We’ve got this.”

“Aye,” Killian sighs, “we’ve got this.”

Strike two.

“Shit.”

Ball two.

Ball three.

Foul ball.

Killian’s phone buzzes in his back pocket, and he opens it up to see Emma’s name.

Emma: They’re having to censor you on television right now.

Emma: Just thought you might want to know that. Literally every time they show the dugout, you’re cursing. Ruby is getting a kick out of it.

Killian moves to text her back, to say something witty in response, but then the wood of Will’s bat is making contact with the ball and it’s flying gone, gone, gone…

Until it’s caught in the outfield.

Out one.

“Fuck.”

They’ve still got a shot. They have to. And as much as Killian hates cheering for Arthur King and hates that he only got a monetary fine for what he said to Emma and about her, he’s exactly who Killian has to cheer for now as Arthur hits a line drive that enables him to get on first base.

That’s progress.

It’s even more progress when Eric hits a triple sending Arthur into home.

8-9.

Holy fuck.

They might do this. They just might.

Killian still can’t breathe, but this is obviously his natural state now. This is how he’s going to have to live out the rest of his life.

Emma: Okay, now I understand all of the cursing. I’m freaking out.

Killian: Me too. We make quite the pair.

Emma: The best pair. It’s all going to be okay, twenty-nine.

He smiles down at his phone, his lungs taking in a bit of air at that.

Killian: It will be. I love you.

Killian: A frankly ridiculous amount.

“Out,” the umpire yells, and Killian immediately rests his head against the dugout railing, his nails digging into the hem of his sweatshirt as sweat drips down his back even with the late October chill whipping through the stadium as the night fully comes into effect, the sun long since gone.

Out two.

“For fuck’s sake,” Al yells, throwing his hat to the ground and slapping his hand against the railing. “Why would you swing at that, Whale? You could have fucking walked, and then we’d have two men on base with one out. That changes everything.”

It’s not Whale’s fault. It’s not. He messed up, sure, but it’s a team effort. Killian doesn’t always believe that when he’s the one pitching. It’s hard to get that out of your head when you’re being yelled at by managers and fans and people online sending death threats, but it’s true. It’s not one person out there even when it feels like it.

Killian’s going to have to remind himself of that tomorrow.

No.

He can’t go there. They’re not going to play tomorrow. Booth is up to bat, and he’ll get Eric home. Then it’ll be tied up, and they’ll have their shot to close this out right here and right now.

Hope bubbles up in Killian’s chest, his throat closing up with excitement and anticipation, and that lack of breathing thing comes back again as his knuckles go white from the strength of his grip on the railing. When he looks to the right, he sees that Robin’s knuckles are just the same.

They might do this.

Roland and Addy have to be screaming their heads off up in the suite. Killian almost wants to text Elsa or Liam to see what’s happening, but his eyes are glued to the field as August swings his bat at the very first ball.

It’s a fucking foul.

Strike one.

“Come on Booth,” Will shouts out, clapping his hands together. “You’ve got it, man. Be smart about it.”

“I’m not entirely sure that’s helping, Scarlet.”

“It is, Professor Jones. I’m a great motivational speaker.”

Killian’s lips stretch into a smile, a bit of calm returning, until the ball flies from the mound again, whipping through the air and curving into the strike zone at the last minute.

August doesn’t swing.

Strike two.

The stadium absolutely erupts then, hands clapping together and feet hitting against the floor while thousands of people scream, a mix of cheers and boos for August. If anyone can handle this kind of pressure, can handle the weight of world on his shoulders and the pressure, it’s August.

Pressure is a privilege.

He’s likely not feeling too privileged right now.

And as suddenly as the noise started, it calms down. While there are still people talking and cheering and making all kinds of noise, Killian can’t focus on any of it. All he can focus on is what’s right in front of him.

One. Two. Three.

Foul.

One. Two. Three.

Foul.

Killian’s stomach flips, his entire hand going white, and Will is grabbing onto Killian’s forearm so tightly that he could break the bone there.

One.

Two.

Three.

There’s a thwack of ball against Booth’s back, and it absolutely flies into the air. It’s flying, and Killian nearly jumps out of the dugout to get a better view of where it’s going. It’s got to be a home run. It’s got to be. That’s where it’s headed, and Killian’s arms break out in gooseflesh beneath the thick material of his sweatshirt.

They’re about to win the fucking World Series for the second time in a row.

Holy shit.

But then the ball dips.

It dips, right at the line of the back fence, and the ball is caught.

The. Ball. Is. Caught.

The ball is caught, Booth is out, and the game is over.

And just like the ball, Killian’s mood dips, every high hope crashing down around him and weighing down on his shoulders while his stomach flips before everything heavily settles in its place. This isn’t how today was supposed to end. They were supposed to come back from their bad start. They were supposed to win.

They didn’t, though. They lost, and even though Killian tries to be encouraging to everyone around him as they all finish up their post-game on-field routines, in his head he knows that they’ve only got one more shot at this.

They’ve got one more shot, and a lot of it is resting in the palm of his hands. Killian has been a screw up for this team so many times before, and he doesn’t know if he can do that again.

He can’t let everyone down again.

The mood is subdued in the clubhouse as everyone strips out of their clothes, just a constant murmuring of curses and complaints. Even Al is quiet when he’d usually be fired up yelling at everyone, a combination of disbarring comments and encouragements, and that may be the most shocking part of it all.

Reporters begin to fill the room as well as agents and wives and the occasional child, and Killian sits in his locker with his head between his legs taking several deep breaths to calm himself down. His heart is beating far too quickly. It’s thumping in between his ears, and that’s not how it’s supposed to be.

It’s simply not.

“Hey.”

The voice is soft and very much Emma’s, and Killian looks up to see her softly smiling down at him, Jeff no longer trailing behind her with his camera.

The smile that stretches across his lips is forced and half-assed, and he knows that Emma can tell. She steps in between his knees so that his head rests against her stomach while her hands brush through his sweaty hair. They don’t say anything else, simply stay there together while Killian breathes in the scent of Emma’s perfume on her sweater and shivers run down his spine at her touch.

He is undeniably a fan of every part of her, but being able to simply be, to exist, with her is one of his favorites. There’s nothing quite so soothing as knowing the person you love will always be by your side no matter what happens.

They lost. They did. It’s what happened, and there’s no changing it.

Tomorrow is the last chance.

It all comes down to the last one.

-/-

-/-

Tag list: @onepunintendid​ @authorarsinoe​ @stunningswan​ @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury​ @superchocovian​ @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog​ @cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings​ @carpedzem​ @tornadoamy​

[saccharineomens]

I want to know all the answers from your 100 question meme

Something you find romantic? Answer whichever #'s you feel comfortable answering; I want to know all your inner musings 😝

cat why do you do this to me

i’ll be sticking them below a readmore, then!

1.  Is a kiss considered cheating? Yes! Unless you’ve communicated with your partner that it’s okay.

2. Have you ever faked an orgasm? Nope

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Hmmm this is a really hard decision. I usually say telepathy, but I like shapeshifting, too. I loved the Animorphs books as a kid, even though I didn’t read them all.

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? Monetarily? Nah. But I like to think I’ll still have strong, rich friendships and I think I’ll have enough money to live comfortably alone. 

5.  Tell us some funny drunk story. I just don’t really have one rip. Drunk people are hilarious but normally I’m the DD. I’ve got several pleasant stories, though! There was a time me and my best friend went to a pub and drank cider and played board games and video games until closing time. Afterwards we stopped at an Insomnia cookies, a storm caused the electricity to go out, and we got a half dozen cookies for free. (well, I felt guilty, so I left them a very large tip.)

6.  Why are you no longer together with your ex? I was going through college, it was long distance, and I felt he deserved better. We keep in touch, though.

7.  If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Well, painlessly, of old age, in my sleep, of course. But if that’s not an option, out of all the ways of dying, freezing to death seems the most humane. You just get tired, cold, and sleepy, and then you just...don’t wake up.

8.  What are your current goals? Graduate, mostly. Long-term I’d like to live with friends in a big house and my cat, and have enough free time to garden and craft at my leisure, and have the ability to travel wherever I’d like. I’d like to work on a game or movie I’m really passionate about, and I’d love to become a director someday.

9.  Do you like someone? I mean, I like a lot of people, but I assume this means romantically. So, kind of? I find a lot of people attractive and have a ‘if they wanted to date I’d be down’ feeling, but I don’t have serious feelings for anybody specific.

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you? Hmmm I have a terrible memory. Myself, perhaps? I have a really hard time with getting up when my alarms go off. Sleep inertia’s a big problem for me. This has led to me being late to classes and rushing to get ready, which is stressful.

11. Do you like your body? Ehhhh. I guess. It could be improved, like by not having health issues. 

12.  Can you keep a diet? Ha! No.

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? I hope you have a wonderful day. The universe doesn’t care about us so be excellent to each other!

14.  Do you work? Constantly, every day. I work to learn new things, accomplish school assignments, make money, feed myself...All my life is is working, right now.

15.  If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Salad! Because anything can be a salad. Tuna salad, fruit salad, salad with salmon...

16. Would you get a tattoo? Oh, absolutely. The only reason I don’t have any is because of money. I have like five small ideas and one very large one that i’d like across my back. 

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? Food, my family, and my friends.

18. Can you drive? Yes. Do I have a license? No.

19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? Probably sometime in the past month by my mother, but she’s just about the only person who does.

20. What was the last thing you cried for? asdfjal;ksdjfs it was Treasure Planet. Jim and Silver’s relationship is just [clutches chest] so beautiful.

21. Do you keep a journal? Sort of, sporadically. 

22.  Is life fun? Yes!

23.  Is farting in front of people irrelevant? I mean, I prefer you excuse yourself, but more or less yeah.

24.  What’s your dream car? My sib got this really nice Prius used at a good price, and it has a lot of room and it’s a hybrid, so Nice. I don’t tend to pay much attention to cars, as long as they’re comfortable and low-waste.

25. Are grades in school important? I admit that they’re important to me, but that’s something I have to unlearn. My worth isn’t determined by other people.

26. Describe your crush. Ugh. I’m bi, guys. I get crushes on people all the time, every day. Saw this really pretty redhead in the cafeteria over a month ago, and I saw her again yesterday. She’s a couple inches taller than me and has really pretty curly hair, but I didn’t really, like, stare, so I couldn’t describe her face well past ‘cute nose’.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? Nothing jumps to mind. I guess I’m still falling over myself after seeing Mad Max back in like 2015, that was just the coolest experience ever. I find delight in just about every movie I watch, though. The second Jumanji-sequels movie was just as fun and amazing as the first. Klaus was just incredible in so many ways. 

28.  What was your last lie? I...really just do not remember. Probably telling myself “I’m gonna do my laundry today” a few days ago? Whereas I DID do my laundry today so HA

29. Dumbest lie you ever told? I saved this question for last and it’s late and I honestly can’t remember anything, asdjls sorry. My memory’s awful y’all. 

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing? Oh absolutely. I mean it wouldn’t be if they weren’t uncomfortable with it, but they always are.

31.  Something you did and you are proud of? I did my laundry today? washed dried folded and everything. I also braved the nighttime neighborhood around my school to solo a Pokemon raid, which was cool. I’m proud of my animation done at the end of the last semester, and of how my teddy bear modelling is doing this week.

32. What’s your favourite cocktail? How am I supposed to choose this? How can you ask me to choose this? I’d have to line them all up and try one by one, honestly, before I could tell you. 

33.  Something you are good at? I’m pretty good at drawing anatomy and expressions, I think. I’m good at baking/cooking, although I lack creativity in the kitchen. I also think I’m a pretty good listener, and a good friend? 

34.  Do you like small kids? Most of the time!

35.  How are you feeling right now? Frankly, a little drained with all these questions, but determined to finish them. I’m a little hungry. I’ve got a lot on my mind, and wish I was doing homework, but I also can’t get myself to do it right now. 

36.  What would you name your daughter/son? Not sure! Every once in a while I’ll be like “ooh, that’d be a great name” and then don’t remember to write it down. Besides, I plan on adopting, and most kiddos already have names.

37.  What do you need to be happy? Money, friends, family, good food, and a place to explore. 

38.  Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? Not particularly. No one other than, well. The rich people I’m pretty sure everyone knows I dislike.

39.  What was the last gift you received? Well, anything my mom cooks for me is a gift, but the last Proper gift was from my friend @ wefflebugs , who got me a blu-ray copy of Into the Spiderverse and some coffee for Christmas  c:

40.  What was the last gift you gave? I gave my sibling @ aconfusedbird a keychain of one of the two Bubble Bobble dragons and kept the other for myself, for their birthday. Handmade from Perler beads. We’d play that game for ages as kids, and we always fought over who’d be the blue one.

41.  What was the last concert you went to? I think it was The Shins? They were so awesome!

42.  Favourite place to shop at? Well, I quite like Target. But I also adore small resale shops. They always have some really awesome things hiding there.

43. Who inspires you? Oogh, a lot of people. Like a million and a half artists I’ve met online, ones I only know their screenname for, inspire me to get better at art. James Baxter and Sergio Pablos inspire me to get better at animation. Wefflebugs’ art always has such lovely colors, which I adore. featherdragon15′s art has gotten a lot better lately, and that inspires me to keep working hard too! Not to mention they’re working for nasa which is rad af, and also inspires me to keep working toward my dreams. My sibling aconfusedbird inspires me a Lot in a lot of personal ways, like to be more kind to myself and to keep moving forward. My mom inspires me to keep gardening. roachpatrol/roach-works inspired me to get into welding, lizardlicks inspired me into wanting chickens and a small homestead. My teachers inspire me to keep working hard in school. 

44. How old were you when you first got drunk? 19, I think? I’ve only gotten properly drunk once. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat another boiled peanut, but other than that it wasn’t a problem lol.

45. How old were you when you first got high? I haven’t, actually. I don’t have a reason not to or anything, but it’s just never felt like the right vibe yanno?

46.  How old were you when you first had sex? I guess it really depends on your definition. Personally, I’d say I haven’t yet.

47. When was your first kiss? Well, I played spin the bottle when I was seventeen, which was technically my first kiss, but if that doesn’t count then it was about a week before I turned eighteen, and I kissed the guy who’d become my first boyfriend.

48.  Something you want to do until the end of this year? Play video games....I wish I had infinite time to play video games and watch movies and draw and just...enjoy my time on earth, you know? Without feeling like it had a deadline.

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? I try not to live with regrets. 

(50 is ‘post a selfie’ but im on a computer)

51. Who are you most comfortable around? Either aconfusedbird or featherdragon15, i think. 

52.  Name one thing that terrifies you. asdkfjal;sdf i’ve been listening to too much magnus archives and got recommended to ‘not be too scared of one thing’ if i want to avoid the creatures, so uh. hard to decide. I guess I’m scared of...hm. people who just lack the ability to create bonds with people? people who don’t care about other living things. humans can be fucking terrifying. 

53. What kind of books do you read? Oh, just about anything. Fantasy, realistic fiction, romance, mysteries, thrillers, scifi...all are great. I didn’t used to enjoy nonfiction but it really depends on the nonfiction.

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self? You’re going to have a best friend someday, and it will be everything you wanted. Things with your mother will improve when you’re in your last few years of high school. You’re going to become a great artist.

55.  What is your favourite flower? Not sure! I like many. There was this one flower i found in high school that smelled incredible, but I’ve no idea what it was. I should find it again.

56. Any bad habits you have? ...Well. Not waking up when my alarm goes off is pretty annoying. My procrastination in general’s frustrating. And, well, just between you, me, and the rest of the internet, (tw: self harm) my trichotillomania causes me constant distress and anxiety.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to? People who want to learn new things, are kind and compassionate, respect me, and have a good sense of humor. Someone I can be adventurous with.

58. What was the last thing you cried for? Well, i answered a similar question earlier, so I’ll answer for the second most recent time I cried. I was in Pennsylvania, the day I had to fly home, and when I went to check in for my flight, all the seats were taken, and I needed to pay for an upgrade if I wanted to guarantee a spot on the flight. This wouldn’t be a huge problem, except that for both of my flights to get home, an upgrade cost $70. And seventy dollars was a big chunk out of my budget for, you know, food. So I cried out of stress and frustration with the airport companies for charging me seventy bucks for ten more inches of legroom that I didn’t want nor need.

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? Not really! In terms of what’s normally accepted as “food” in American society, that is. I don’t care much for worms or insects. Other than that, I’m interested enough to try almost anything once.

60. Are you in love? In love? No. Am I full of love? Yes, for many, many, many things. 

61.  Something you find romantic? Oh man, anything could be romantic if done by someone I care for. I think gentleness is romantic. Quality time is my love language, so if my partner cancelled plans to spend time with me, that’d be romantic. I find romance in trying new things and going to new places.

62. How long was your longest relationship? Four months or so. It’s the only relationship I’ve been in, though, and I hadn’t intended for it to go past summer, so that was longer than I’d even planned on haha.

63, 64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? Opposite sex? Uhhh kind of hard to answer this one. I mean, i hate the culture in which men are raised to be, but I’ve heard that ‘male’ and ‘female’ brains aren’t particularly predisposed to anything in particular? Like, both men and women are capable of emotional intelligence and compassion, it’s just that our culture doesn’t encourage it in men. 

65. What are you saving money for? Food, college. I might treat myself to a school trip to Disney, but I don’t think I have the budget rn. As a student I’m kind of coasting by on the bare minimum rn, I don’t have anything i CAN save up for.

66. How would you describe your bad side? I mostly just avoid you or try to not spend time with you. 

67. Are you actually a good person? Why? I think I am. I care about other people and try to make other people’s lives easier and happier. I try every day to become more sensitive to other perspectives. I do what I can to benefit the earth for those who will come after me.

68. What are you living for? Ooh, deep stuff. I’m living for helping other people. I’m living for my friends and family. 

69 (nice).  Have you ever done anything illegal? Pfft, guys, jaywalking is illegal. So yes. I’ve also drank while underage before. But nothing really big, no.

70.  Do you like your body? Wait a second. This was number 11, too. Well, I guess I’ll change it to What don’t you like about your body? Which is my under-chin. It’s kind of a double chin, kind of not. But while most things I could change about my body, I don’t think I could change that without surgery. And yeah, I’ve thought about it. Not that I have any of the cash for it. I also wish I didn’t have (tw: self-harm) trichotillomania, so I’d have more eyelashes and eyebrows.

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? I think I probably have, to douchebags. Like “hey, that’s inappropriate”.  

72.  Ever sent nudes? Nope!

73. Have you ever cheated on someone? God, no. Big #1 no no for me.

74. Favourite candy? I RECENTLY DISCOVERED TAKE 5′S AND REESES HAVE COMBINED INTO ONE GLORIOUS CANDY BAR, SO, THAT.

75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! Agh, okay. @ aconfusedbird, @ busket, @ loreweaver-universe, @ orange-plum. The four blogs I don’t actually follow, but whose blogs I visit every day. It changes around every few years. It used to be a different bunch back when I first got on tumblr. I really have no idea why I haven’t followed them. Habit, I suppose? Also, it still won’t let me tag my sib for some reason. (nvm I removed the tags, i don’t want to bother them)

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? lmao uh, that’s kind of an understatement. I can’t list all my favorite games, but I’m very fond of The Last of Us. I have played. So many video games. I’ll chat about them anytime!

77. Favourite TV series? Avatar: The Last Airbender, I think. It’s really hard to top that.

78. Are you religious? Does God exist? Not really religious, no. I do think that there’s probably a god out there that sparked the Big Bang. I don’t really follow the Christian God because despite what every church service said, I never felt like He loved me. Jesus was a super cool guy, though. If there’s a god out there, I think they pretty much keep to themselves. Maybe have some fun watching creation, but don’t really interact with it at all.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? asdkfj;as i don’t remember. probably my textbook Directing the Story by Francis Glebas? It was a pretty cool book about moviemaking.

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? I’ve reblogged a lot on the subject. I respect those who practice it, but it can cause a lot of environmental harm. In theory, it’s not bad! 

81. How long have you been on Tumblr? Like eight years or so? Maybe nine? wild. I visited blogs daily before the number got high enough i was like ‘okay i’ll just make an account’.

82. Do you like Chinese food? Oh, yes!

83-85. McDonalds or Subway?   Vodka or whiskey? Alcohol or drugs? Subway, whiskey and alcohol.

86.  Ever been out of your province/state/country? Yes, yes, and no!

87. Meaning behind your blog name? I’ve had this one for many years now. I really like the word ‘saccharine’ -- inspired by @ saccharinesylph back in the old days -- and i couldn’t just name myself ‘saccharine’, so i needed something else. and I was pretty big into Good Omens at that time, and I was like ‘haha! saccharine, good, omens. saccharine omens!’ Plus, it feels like a very positive and comforting name, and I strive to be a comforting person. 

88. What are you scared of? ok i def answered this moving on

89. Last time you were insulted? uhhhhhhhhh no idea. oh, wait! i know. i was getting graded on my performance at my job late last year and i disagreed with the grade my boss gave me. It was like ‘person shows considerable care of their community and goes above and beyond to educate others’ and i was like ‘oh yeah that’s, like, my whole Thing, my whole Goals and Personality and Ideals’ and then my boss came in and was like ‘2/4′ and i was like ‘wtf??’ Apparently she felt that i just wasn’t really applying that part of myself to my job, and i was like ‘you serious? i’m doing a lot!’ but also she’s my boss.

90. Most traumatic experience? A series of emotionally/mentally abusive things my mom did during my childhood. It’s definitely had the longest lasting effects of any trauma. Permanent anxiety problems, ptsd, my self harm, the whole shebang. Don’t worry, though, like. Things are way better between us, and she’s apologized many times.

91. Perfect date idea? Going on a hike! Maybe walking on a beach. Just spending time together and talking. Eating some delicious food. Spending the entire day with each other, then curling up and cuddling at home and watching a movie. then talking some more. lots of handholding and kisses. im a super hopeless romantic.

92. Favourite app on your phone? the internet, ofc lmao. But other than that I use Animal Crossing Pocket Camp and Pokemon Go an awful lot. 

93. What colour are the walls in your room? At school a boring white, although I’ve taped some art up. At home a really pretty light blue color that I did all myself.

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? I do! And I like so many channels, honestly. I really like Rachel and Jun, and I really like Pop Culture Detective. I’ve seen a lot of jackscepticeye’s stuff, too. Proko, Vox, and Sinix Design are all good too.

95. Share your favourite quote. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.” -Dr Seuss

96.  What is the meaning of life? To be happy, enjoy yourself, and love others!

97. Do you like horror movies? Ha ha ha, not really. I liked A Quiet Place though. 

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? She’s cried sometimes over how she treated us in the past. Sometimes it happens because I talk about how she’s hurt me. She always expresses regret and apologizes again. 

99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way? I feel lucky with how I met my best friend. We’d had band together and kind of both thought each other as a cool person, but we didn’t really hit it off until a couple years later and she saw me drawing Homestuck fanart in Psychology lmao. The rest is history. Love you so much, Haley. I feel lucky my mom realized she was being abusive and stopped, too. Not everyone gets that. 

100. Can you keep a secret? Oh, definitely. But do tell me what needs to be secret, otherwise I won’t know. For example, my sib asked me to keep their gf busy while they bought her a present, so I tried, but then she was like ‘oh, where’s your sibling? we should find them’ i was like ‘oh no, i think they’re just buying something, it’s fine’ but she was stubbornly moving toward the checkout and i was like ‘stop, i think they’re buying something for you’ so i. kinda told a secret? i didn’t tell her what the present was though.

JESUS THAT WAS A LOT OF TYPING, LMAO. IT’S THREE AM. GOODNIGHT

[everlastingdreams]

Dex x Reader : Sugar Crush chapter 4

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Notes: Damn. I did say some chapters are longer then others lol. Also loooooook new picture only took me like 10 attempts to get this still damnit.

Summary:  Reader moves into the same building as one Agent Poindexter. A bond starts to grow between them. Can the reader move on after a traumatic past ‘relationship’ ?

Chapter: 4/?

Trigger Warning:  Mentions of physical and emotional abuse ! YES this one will come with trigger warnings. I tried not to post too much into detail stuff but this entire thing comes with a trigger warning !

Word count: 2930 words  (alright I had no idea this was that long when did that happen?)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As you opened the door of the coffee shop, the smell of warm delicious coffee hit your nose.

You held the door open as Dex followed you inside the shop.

It was small, there were some tables where you could sit. You had been here the first day you arrived in this part of the city, the delicious smell had worked like a magnet on you. The first time you were here alone, with your worries and fears. How would you manage on your own in such a big city ? You knew Hell's Kitchen had the reputation of being unsafe, but at the same time it was perfect. Your ex would never find you here, no one here knew you, who would he ask?

It was easy to disappear here.

“I came here the same day I moved in the building.” you tell Dex.

“I haven't been in here myself.” he stood next to you know, waiting in line.

“Well, I can assure you that the coffee they serve here is awesome. So just tell them what you want, I've got the cash part covered. All thanks to you saving my bag.” you nudged his arm with your elbow softly before you realised what you were doing.

Why ? Why did you do that?

He looked at you and for a moment you felt small.

Did you really just nudge your neighbour that works for the FBI ?

“Sorry... I'm not used to going out with people anymore, I didn't mean to overstep-” you started to stammer.

The grin that appeared on his face made you relax “Don't worry about it. It's fine.”

Your eyes fell to your feet, you were sure he must think you are some kind of weirdo now.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I know I can be annoying sometimes and it scares people away and-”

“Goodmorning, what kind of coffee would you like today ?” a voice suddenly interupted you.

Dex eyes stayed on you before he spoke up and ordered his coffee and waited until you told the barista what you wanted.

“(y/n).” Dex nodded towards an empty table “Wanna take a seat ?”

“Yeah.” you tried to smile, you really did.

The mental games your ex had played with you were now showing their results. He had told you so many times how annoying you were, how you would never find another because of it. You were reaching out to strangers now, reaching out for a connection you feared you would never have again. And you knew it would scare people away, that it might make you look 'needy'. Perhaps you were, perhaps you really needed someone, even if it was just a friend.

You quietly walked with Dex towards the small table and sat down on the chair opposite of him.

Your were fumbling with a napkin on the table when Dex cleared his throat and it made you look up at him.

“You know, I'm curious. What exactly were you going to do if you had caught that guy stealing your bag ?” placing his elbows on the table as he asked you the question.

“Ha, I actually didn't think about that. It all happened so fast. I was talking to this girl and when I wanted to start running again, I felt my bag being pulled off of me. Not smart, I know.” you shrugged your shoulders.

“Not at all. I see it a lot at work, people going after the bad guys themselves. It's pretty common.” he chuckled “But next time, don't risk your life for a bag. Alright ?”

The concerned tone in his voice suprised you “Uhm.. I won't. Sorry you got dragged into this, if I had paid attention to what was happening around me.. it probably still would have happened.” your voice got quieter as you thought about it.

A soft laugh escaped him “You didn't drag me into anything. And it would have looked pretty bad if an FBI agent would've let a criminal just run off.”

“Yup, that would've looked pretty bad.” you laughed a little “So you were just doing your job.”

Dex's eyes locked on yours for a moment before they darted around the room “Yeah.” he was tapping his fingers on the table and it made you believe that he was nervous for some reason “I uh.. I run on that route a lot. I noticed you were there when you stopped to help that woman.”

“Oh. Yeah, she had fallen. I hope she is doing fine now.” you looked around to see if the waiter was coming with your coffees.

“It was a kind thing you did.” you looked back at him and were suprised to see what looked like an expression of admiration on his face.

“I just helped her up, that's all.” you brushed it off. It was only normal for you to help someone, something you wished people would have done for you.

“No... you..” he brushed his hand over his chin “You did more than that. The fact that you don't realise it just shows how good you are.”

You were speechless “I.. uhm..”

He folded his hands together on the table “I saw you give your Ipod to that woman. You saw how distressed she was and you helped her. It was an act of selflessness.”

“It was just an old Ipod.” you lied.

He raised a brow at you and you knew he saw right through the lie “Was it ?”

“Hello, sorry for the wait. Here are the coffees you ordered.” the waiter was standing next to the table and Dex leaned back on the chair.

“It's fine.” you tell the waiter and smiled at him.

The eyes of the waiter locked on yours, too long to not notice “Hi, I hope you enjoy your coffee, Miss.” he winked at you and it suprised you how bold he was “We serve fresh pastries here everyday, so if you return here tomorrow we will have the kitchen's speciality.”

There was no way that this waiter was not dropping hints to you, hoping you would return here tomorrow. But you knew that he didn't just wanted you to return for the 'kitchen's speciality', no, he was hoping you would return without Dex. This was awkward to say the least, not that the waiter was bad looking, but it was kind of.. rude ?

You let out an awkward chuckle as the waiter tried to keep obvious eye contact with you. It only stopped when Dex cleared his throat. The waiter seemed to snap out of it “Apologies. Can I get you anything else ?”

You noticed how Dex was fidgeting with the plastic cup in his hand, his jaw tense.

“No, that will be all. Thank you.” you stayed friendly and the waiter walked away from your table.

Dex relaxed as the waiter left, was he jealous ? No. That can't be possible. You barely knew each other.

“So tell me, Dex.” he looked up from his coffee to you “Did you like the pancakes ?”

He let out a breath as he heard your question “They were great. Is that what you did before moving here ? Working in a bakery or something like that ?”

A laugh escaped your lips “Ha, no. I just like to bake, it calms me down. It's hard to be stressed when you have to focus on not messing up a recipe.”

“I get what you mean. I mean about the focusing on something else to deal with stress.” he made it sound casual but you felt there was a deeper meaning to it. “Your eye is starting to look better.” he pointed out.

You absentmindedly let your fingers touch the area around your eye, almost having forgotten all about the bruises. Now you figured out why Mr.Wilkinson had looked so puzzled this morning, he had not seen you without the sunglasses yet.

“Wanna know how to handle that?” Dex pointed at you and took a sip from his cup as he waited for your answer.

“Let me guess, by not getting hit in the face ?” you took a sip from your own coffee now.

He furrowed his brow and tapped his fingers on the cup he was holding “Well, yeah..that too.. but I was gonna say that you gotta cool the area around your eye down as soon as possible. But it has been more then two days,obviously, so I'd start applying warm compresses now and then. It'll help heal faster.”

“Thanks for the tip. I'll remember it. I just hope this will be the first and last time.” you placed the cup on the table.

“You think your ex is gonna try and find you here ?” Dex started to fumble with a coaster that was on the table.

The thought of your ex coming to find you made you nauseous and it was enough to make the color drain from your face.

“(y/n) ?” Dex's eyes were scanning your face now.

You quickly shook your head and let out a breath “I don't know.. I hope he doesn't try to find me.”

“You're afraid of him.” it was a statement, not a question.

You could only nod in confirmation.

Dex placed his arms on the table again “Listen, it's a big city. I wouldn't worry about him finding you. Even the FBI has trouble finding people who go missing.”

“That's comforting ?...” you let out a chuckle.

“Yeah.. I guess I didn't think that one through.” he rubbed his hand over his face.

You let your fingers wander over the coffee cup on the table, only looking at Dex when he touched your hand with his fingers very lightly and quickly. He did it to pull your attention, but when he did it felt like a spark.

His hand quickly returned to his coffee before he spoke “But... If you ever feel like you're scared or...” he trailed off “...let me know.”

“Wow.. uhm..” you tapped your finger on your cup “Thank you. That's really nice of you.” a smile formed on your lips when you looked at him.

He smiled back at you and you couldn't help but notice how adorable he looked. He might appear as a tough FBI agent but he had a boyish charm to him.

“Yeah, don't mention it. Besides, it's my job to keep people safe.” he brushed it off.

“It's your job to keep your annoying neighbour safe ?” a playful smile on your face.

He shook his head at your choice of words “I don't think you are annoying.”

“ You don't ?” you hesitantly asked.

“No. Is that what he made you believe ?” his eyes locked on yours.

You nodded “Yeah. It's why I am always afraid that I am bugging people. I don't usually do this” you motioned your hand in a circle “Usually I just try to make other people's day a bit nicer. After losing my friends, I'm scared to make new ones...” you fumbled with your fingers.

“You're afraid they will abandon you too.” he stated and your eyes met his.

“Yes. How did you guess that ?” you looked at him in suprise, how the hell did he just know that?

He put a hand on his leg “I uhm.. I know what that's like.” he choose his words carefully.

You looked at him in disbelieve “It's hard to imagine that someone like you doesn't have a lot of friends, Dex.”

He let out a chuckle “I mean.. I've got colleagues in the FBI, but it's not..”

“It's not the same.” you finished his sentence.

He nodded and kept his eyes on his hands “Yeah.”

As you looked at him, you felt that there was an understanding between the both of you.

Hell, it was almost like he was as alone in this big city as you were.

“I wish it was easier to make friends, when you're a kid you just go up to another kid and boom you're friends.” you laughed a little as you said it.

“I didn't really have friends when I was a kid either.” his insecurity was clear as he spoke.

Your eyes widened “Really ?”

He mouthed a 'yup' before he took another sip of his coffee.

You didn't want to pry into his personal life too much yet.

You sat up straight and thought before you spoke “Well then, Dex.”

His eyes fell on you again as he noticed your change of tone.

A smile playing on you lips “Wanna be friends ?” you said it in childlike tone.

His eyes widened for a moment before he chuckled and rubbed a hand over his face “You are so strange.” he shook his head.

“Is that a yes ?” you were not giving up.

He sat and straightened himself as well now, he looked at you before he gave a short nod “Yes.”

You took another sip of your coffee as you smiled at him.

Dex was still processing what just happened. The day he met you, he had been drawn to your bubbly personality. And now you had just declared him your friend, just like that. Perhaps you thought it didn't mean much to him, but it did.

It did more then you could possibly realise right now.

“Holy shit, I just realised I asked a federal agent to be my friend.” you nearly choked on your coffee.

A worried expression quickly appearing on Dex's face as he feared you were regretting it “It's not a crime.”

You snorted “I know. It's just strange.”

He relaxed at your choice of words and let out a breath.

You cleared your throat “Dex..” you nervously tapped your fingers on your knee “Are you sure your girlfriend will be okay with us being friends ?”

“I don't think she will mind.” he answers and you feel like being punched in the gut. You should have known he wasn't single, how could he be ? He was handsome, smart and a Special Agent.

You were too caught up in your strain of thought to notice the smirk growing on his face.

“Because I don't have a girlfriend.”

Your eyes widened as relief washed over you “Thank god.” you whispered to yourself but it was louder then you had intended it to be.

“What ?” he was looking at you with a questioning expression.

You opened your mouth to speak but were lost for words for a moment, until you finally stammered “Oh, no, no ! I don't mean 'Thank God, you're single' in a mean way. I meant 'Thank God' …. we can be ...friends.” you crinched at your own words as they flew out of your mouth in record time.

He nodded his head, seeming more confussed then he was before.

“Because who wouldn't want to date you ? You're great.” you felt like you were digging a hole you were not going to be able to climb out, so you fell silent.

This time Dex cleared his throat as he took another sip of his coffee to hide the smile that had grown on his face.

You on the other hand wanted to fall through the ground and be absorbed by it at this point.

A minute of silence past.

There was something you wanted to ask and even Dex noticed your expression.

“What ?” he asked as he drank the last of his coffee.

You played with the strap of your bag nervously “Can I see it ?” you whispered it.

His furrowed his brow before he shook his head in confussion “ See what exactly ?”

“Oh, I mean your badge.” you stuttered when you figured how that must have sounded.

He suppressed a laugh and took the badge out of his pocket and discreetly slided it over the table towards you.

You carefully took it and looked “Awesome” you quietly said “Benjamin, huh?” you looked up at him.

“I still prefer Dex.” Dex paid attention to your reactions, you seemed so innocent to him, so open and honest.

You discreetly passed it back to him and he put the badge back.

“You know, I was wondering. How the hell did you manage to throw that water bottle past me and against the thief. I mean... how ?” you knew that the bottle had passed over your shoulder but how could he possibly throw it that well ?

“It's something I've been able to do since I was a kid.” he admitted sheepishly.

“Damn. You've got good aim. No wonder you're with the FBI.” you blurted it out.

The sound of a phone ringing interupted what he was about to say.

Dex reached in his pocket giving you a quick “Excuse me.” before he looked at the screen “I uh.. I have to go to work.” he gives you an apologetic look.

“Oh..” you sat up straight now. Of course he had to go to work, you probably caused him to be late.  “Of course. I understand.”

He gave you a quick nod and looked at you “I'll see you later ?” his voice was hopeful.

“It's kind of inevitable, Dex. We live in the same building.” you playfully said.

He nodded quickly and shook his head as he let out a chuckle “I.. yeah.”

“Good luck today.” you quickly said as he stood up to leave “And stay safe.”

“I will and ...thank you for the coffee.” he grinned at you before he left.

Tag list for this series (let me know if you want to be added or removed from the list :) ) : 

@marvelmayo @givemeabite @aquietfortitudeandstrength @missminx1993 @fuchsiagrasshopper @legion-18 @love-mia-marisol @star-spangled-man @bilson-bethel 

[ren-c-leyn]

11/11/11 tag game

Tagged by @mischiefiswritten, thank you =)

Rules: answer the 11 questions the person who tagged you wrote, write 11 questions, then tag 11 more people.

Mischief’s amazing questions (seriously, they were awesome. I had to stop and think about most of them):

1. Who has been the biggest supporter(s) of your writing? How have they supported you?

 I would say my mother, my writing partner, and in the very beginning, my grandmother. Before she passed away, my grandmother’s love of books kind of infected me and she got really excited when I told her I was working on one. It kind of became a goal of mine to see one of my stories on her shelf, but it sadly never happened. I finally finished one, though, just like she said I would.

 My mother has been my go-to whine-to-about-how-hard-writing-is person since I was first forced to write essays for grade school, and has been kind of my personal positivity gremlin. Every time I threaten to delete a project, she saves it. Every time I swear I’m going to quit, I get talked out of it and somehow given more motivation. Whenever I need inspiration, I know I can bounce ideas off of her.

 My writing partner, @sorenfarwalker, is the one that’s been slowly dragging out my inner positivity gremlin for many years now, and is probably the biggest fan of my poetry I have ever come across. She’s also the one that finally broke my bad habit of self-depreciation humor about my poetry. She’s also the one that finally talked me into joining tumblr... and posting stuff on it. I’ve also learned a lot from watching Soren write, even since before we decided to join forces and conquer the pen together. Her passion for it rubbed off on me, and her enthusiastic cheering and adorable stick-men fanart helps keep me going.

2. If you’ve written multiple pieces or worked on multiple projects, what are some common elements you find in several of them?

 Angst, reincarnation, monsters, secrets, magic, among other things.

3. What are your go-to sources for writing advice/references/tips?

 I don’t actively look for writing tips. My writing style was more or less established before tumblr, and during my time here, I’ve found many are written in ways that just make me feel crappy and kill my motivation to write.

4. What are your favorite tropes to read and write?

 I honestly cannot name tropes to save my life, but the one I love to death, whatever it is called, is the one where there’s that scene:

 “I’ll hold them off, you guys go ahead…” and they hear the fighting behind them as their friend fights off the monster or the enemies, and they just know that that friend won’t catch back up, ever. Bonus points for either that one friend that stays behind to fight with them to the bitter end, that one friend screaming ‘I can’t leave them!’, or Both At The Same TIme.

5. If you were going to be known for a single great book, in what genre would you most want it to be in?

Fantasy, what else?

6. Fans of what currently published books (or other works of fiction) would most enjoy your WIP?

I don’t know, The Plight of a Sparrow is kind of an oddball project that drew inspiration from a lot of different sources.

7. Honesty hour: Have you given pretend interviews in your head about your wildly successful novels? What topics did you talk about most in your “interview”?

 Nope, not really. I mostly daydream about the worlds of my stories. There was this one time where I had a random thought about how an interview with me about one of my books would probably go. I imagined sitting in front of cameras with a stranger, whose show I probably hadn’t even heard of before, and randomly shouting stick, or something else stupid, because I forgot what the question was. Does that count? ^^’

8. If your WIP were going to be adapted into another form of media (TV, film, audio drama, comic, videogame, stage play, etc.) which do you think would fit it best? Which would you most like to see happen?

 Considering the storyline, I could see people wanting to see what the game version of The Plight of a Sparrow was like, before Sparrow died and was reincarnated into it. I personally think either an anime or a comic adaption of it would be cool.

9. How well do your tastes in reading align with your tastes in writing?

 Kind of... not very well? I love to read fantasy, don’t get me wrong, but my tastes as a reader are a lot more diverse than my preferences as a writer. I love murder mysteries, can’t write them to save my life. There’s too many rules for me to even bother with historical fiction, but I have read a few that I adored. Poetry, I think, is where I come the closest to my tastes as a reader and writer matching up, but even then, it’s a hit and miss thing with me.

10. Do you read or write fanfiction? If so, for what fandoms, and how do you think this has influenced your writing?

 Nope, I neither read nor write fanfiction.

11. Asking who your favorite OC is is like asking about someone’s favorite child. But come on, you know you have favorites. Who are they?

Raina quickly became my favorite of The Plight of a Sparrow, but she’s not my favorite character ever. That title actually belongs to Beta and Illusion, primarily Beta, but Illusion sets him up so perfectly. Plus, you can’t really separate them. The joys of a symbiotic relationship between two sarcastic smartasses XD

My questions:

1. Why did you first start writing? Not just your current project, but in general.

2. What do you tend to notice the most about your writing while your writing it?

3. If you had to write a single genre for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

4. What are your favorite things to describe in writing?

5. What elements do your favorite characters tend to share? (Not just in your own writing, but in general.)

6. What’s something you wish you would have known about writing when you started?

7. What’s one thing you wish you would have kept from back when you first started writing?

8. Do you like any of your old writing?

9. What do you think of writing ‘rules’?

10. What’s something that really encourages you as a writer?

11. Have some positivity you’d like to pass onto your fellow writers?

Tagging: @disfunctionaldeity-writes, @mischiefiswritten, @writingonesdreams, @bookenders, @maybeillwriteit, @trigwrites, @joyful-soul-collector, @mischiefiswritten, @redaniels-writes, @candy687, and @hyba

[kathrynmaslow]

Love Lies 6/15

Summary: Ever since Emma was 13, she knew she had the ability to destroy people if she wanted to, and some days, she really wanted to. After being forced to go to Greenwood Academy following a traumatizing event in her childhood that brought to the surface her ability to manipulate fire, she never thought she would be free of the place. So for nearly 10 years, she lived a solitary existence with the exception of her best friends, but that was all about to change.

Killian Jones had just been sentenced to attend the university campus at Greenwood Academy after an accident at sea caused him to be dishonorably discharged from Her Majesty’s royal Navy and lose his hand. He doesn’t know what to think about these newfound powers and what they spell for the rest of his now not-so-normal life. But a chance encounter one day has the ability to change all of that.

A story about love and redemption between two people that shows, if you have the right person beside you, you can find a light in the darkness.

Rating: M

Content Warnings: Mentions of Violence/Death, Brief mention of Childhood Abuse/Sexual Assault, Mild Sexual Content

Chapter Notes: Chapter 6 is here folks! This one is a bit shorter but it sets up the next chapter very nicely, so I am super excited for you all to read that next week.

Thanks as always to my beta @daveyjacobsthepotterhead and my artist @princesse-swan who has some more amazing art coming your way for this story! Enjoy and happy Daylight savings!

Read on FF

Catch up on Tumblr: One  Two  Three  Four  Five

Art by @princesse-swan here

Chapter 6

Unfortunately, all good things had to come to an end.

Or, that was what Emma was currently thinking.

Fall break had ended, and that meant that the campus was once again swarmed through with students at every hour, a complete difference from the quiet nights she had spent out with Killian in the courtyards.

It also meant that her friends had come back on campus, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but Emma was truly feeling that way as she was getting bombarded with questions from her friends.

Ruby and Mary Margaret probably had good intentions, since they always made a point to ask her what she did over her break stuck on campus before they launched into their own stories about their travels instead.

They did at least act like they were excited to see some of her new drawings.

But she was trying to keep the fact that she had truly grown fairly close to Killian away from her friends, because they were way too noisy on the subject in general.

Ruby seemed to have a knack for picking up that she was lying to them though because she kept poking at it.

“I still don’t believe you Emma, I think you are keeping something from us about how you spent this break!” She taunted, smiling wickedly at her over her burger.

Emma grumbled into her bowl of broccoli cheddar soup. “I don’t know what you think I am hiding from you Ruby. I worked on some new pieces of art in the library, met a new student on the lower campus, and got rained on one night while I couldn’t sleep.”

“You are telling the truth when it comes to that aspect of the story, yes. You did do all of that over the break. I just think that you aren’t telling us the whole of it.” She retorted.

Emma fought the urge to cringe at the accurate statement. She moved her gaze away from the look her friends were giving her and scanned around the dining hall. They were in a fairly quiet area of the hall, and thankfully not a lot of people were milling around by them while she was getting the third degree.

A familiar mop of black hair stood out in the crowd and blue eyes met hers from across the room.

Shit.

Killian started making his way across the room towards them and she pleaded with whatever beings were listening that Killian would get the message and turn around and head away from them and save her from this torture.

He did not.

But, it seems, she did have a bit of luck in her corner after all.

“Hey, Mary Margaret. Did you get the information for the assignment that we have due in biology next week? Dr. Hopper mentioned the assignment in my lecture but didn’t actually tell us what it was about.” He said in way of greeting.

Her friend, who had mainly been silent throughout the whole ordeal so far, nodded her head at him.

“Yeah, I think I should have it in my notes, let me check.” Mary Margaret said, reaching to pick up her book bag from the ground.

“Hey Emma, how have you been?” Killian asked her while he waited for Mary Margaret.

“I’ve been good. How have you been?” She asked, hoping it sounded casual. She didn’t want to tip Ruby off.

But, unfortunately, she always seemed to underestimate her friend.

“Since neither one of these ladies seemed to want to take the time to introduce me, I will do it myself. Name’s Ruby.” She said, extending her hand at Killian.

Killian looked down at the books in his arms and then at Ruby’s extended hand.

“It looks like I will have to pass on the hand shake for right now, considering i don’t have one to spare.” He joked. He flashed a smirk at them and Emma had to cough a laugh into her hands.

Ruby turned to look at her and raised an eyebrow. “That wasn’t subtle at all. All of those years spent trying to get you to be cool around handsome boys is now a waste.”

Killian threw his head back and laughed at the statement. “Really Ruby, how do you expect someone who has the ability to manipulate fire to be ‘cool’?” He laughed.

Ruby cracked a smile. “I like you Killian, I think we will have to keep you for awhile.” She wagged her finger at him. “I could always use another sarcastic, witty person to bounce my awesomeness off of.”

“Well, considering I already work with Mary Margaret and know Emma pretty well, it shouldn’t be too hard to work my way into your little group, I do have to warn you though that I won’t add much time into painting nails or anything. Not really my scene.”

Emma cringed. Considering she hadn’t told her friends, well, anything about whatever the hell this thing was between Killian and herself, she waited for the inevitable pouncing of her friends on that morsel of information.

“Here it is.” Mary Margaret said, triumphantly pulling her notebook out of her bag.

Emma breathed a sigh of relief. It also wasn’t that she necessarily wanted to keep Killian a secret from them either.

It was just so rarely that she had something that she had a shred of control over that she didn’t want to lose that. And this thing, however it was going to play out, seemed to be happening on her terms.

Killian never pushed. He never made her feel like control over their relationship, if it could be called that, was ever out of her hands and exclusively in his.  

She saw Killian’s eyes shift over to her occasionally as he listened to Mary Margaret explain what their professor had assigned them. He had noticed her uncomfortableness with the way the conversation had been heading. It also seemed like he wanted to possibly talk to her about something but didn’t really want to do it in front of her friends.

“Thanks so much for that Mary Margaret. Emma, do you mind walking with me for a moment?” He asked, shifting the books around in his arms as he nodded towards one of the cafeteria exits.

“Sure.” She said, pushing up from the table and shrugging into her sweater.

As she came around to  his side, she reached out and grabbed a book or two off the top of his stack.

“Thanks love, I didn’t realized I was going to get interrogated when I came over, otherwise I may have put them in my bag first.” He commented, throwing her a smile.

She felt a small one break out across her face. “Yeah, get used to it buddy. Ruby is as ruthless as a wolf ripping into fresh meat.”

Killian shuddered at her description.

“I’m not even kidding, her other form is a wolf.” Emma dead panned.

“I will never stop being surprised by this place, will I?” he said, pushing out the door and keeping one foot back for her to follow him out.

“Likely not.” She said. She was still surprised by things happening on campus, and she had been here for almost half of her life. “Anyway, what did you want to ask me away from the rat pack?”

Killian looked away from her and scratched behind his ear in a nervous manner that she had come to know and love. She gave him a bit of an encouraging smile when he turned back to look at her. He smiled back at her sweetly.

“You’re probably going to think it’s stupid because you have probably been to the thing a hundred times already,” Killian said, gesturing absently with his hand after shuffling his books to rest in the crook of his other arm, “But that carnival is coming onto campus this weekend, and I was wondering if you would like to accompany me?”

“Are you asking me out on a date?” She asked, a bit surprised. No one had ever asked her out before.

“Nothing quite so formal love. I would do something much more romantic for an actual evening out,” Killian said, quirking an eyebrow at her.

Emma thought back through all of her years living on campus here, and she couldn’t recall a single time that she had actually gone to the traveling circus when it had come to campus.

It wasn’t the typical circus anyone would think of when they thought of a big tent show, but more or less a place for people with powers to travel and perform in front of others. But she had seen some of the normal circus aspects such as the ferris wheel and lines of chance games along the walkways.

She came back from her thoughts to see Killian watching her expectantly.

“Sure, it sounds like fun.” Emma said.

A bright smile lit up Killian’s face, and caused her to smile back at him in return.

“Awesome, see you around then love.” Killian grabbed her hand and then leaned in to kiss her cheek. Emma smiled back at him in response as he grabbed the books back out of her arms and tucked them in with the rest before walking back across campus.

Emma touched the cheek he had kissed softly, unspeakably touched by the gesture.

She shook her head to clear it as she turned to walk back to where her friends were sitting.

“What did lover boy want to ask you?” Ruby asked bluntly as Emma sat back down at the table.

“Lover Boy?” Emma asked at the same time Mary Margaret admonished their friend.

“What? He said you two were pretty close, doesn’t take much to put two and two together.”

“Look Ruby,” Emma started, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Killian and I, I don’t even think either of us know truly what this is. We are just friends right now.”

“Sure you are.” Ruby replied, sounding all for the world that she didn’t believe Emma at all.

“When did you get to know him Emma? I know David told me that he had met Killian on campus once with you before, but that doesn’t lend much time to really becoming friends with someone.” Mary Margaret asked, giving Ruby one of her patented ‘just drop it’ looks.

Ruby rolled her eyes in response.

“I actually spent a bit of time getting to know him over school break.” Emma said.

“Killian is High Risk?” Mary Margaret asked, looking shocked.

“Yeah He is. You look surprised.” Emma stated.

“No, No. It’s not that I’m surprised, he just doesn’t seem the type.” Mary Margaret said.

“But I do?” Emma said, glaring at her friend.

“Now Emma, you know that isn’t what I meant.”

“Than what did you mean by that Mary Margaret?”

“I just meant that Killian had never mentioned it before,” Mary Margaret said, trying to back track away from the conversation.

“Yeah, well guess what Mary Margaret. Maybe people don’t like talking about that kind of stuff because it makes people look at them differently. Maybe Killian doesn’t like telling people that he is High Risk, considering he didn’t tell me he was until he saw me over break.” Emma said, growing frustrated with the direction things were heading.

Her friends knew how she felt about her high risk status, or at least she thought they did. But considering Mary Margaret’s comments, maybe they didn’t really.

“I’ll see you guys later.” She said as she grabbed her book bag from the floor next to her seat.

“Emma…” Mary Margaret said, sounding like she wanted to make an apology but not knowing how to salvage the moment.

“Just, leave it, ok?” Emma said, throwing her bag over her shoulder and walking out of the building.

Sighing in defeat, she didn’t know where she wanted to go next. She didn’t have any classes left for this afternoon, but didn’t necessarily feel like heading back to her dorm room.

Emma thought through Killian’s schedule. He didn’t have any classes left for the day either if she remembered correctly. Killian had mentioned that his dorm was in the building next to hers on the second floor, so Emma thought she would give it a chance that he was back in his room.

Mind made, she started across campus towards his dorm.

Thinking back on her conversation with Mary Margaret and Ruby, that was the one thing that frustrated her most about her friends. It was the fact that they didn’t seem to get that there were issues of hers that they didn’t relate to.

There had been many occasions where she had been just trying to live her life to the best of her abilities while stuck on campus and had been judged, or left out, or told that she couldn’t or shouldn’t participate in things just because of her classification as a student.

And without even realizing it, her friends had made her feel that way on more than one occasion. Planning on going to events around campus, even though high risk students were not allowed to participate, or planning nights out on the town for open campus days when Emma wasn’t able to join them.

They would act apologetic when Emma confronted them about it, or apologize for not really making plans that could include her, but Emma was left out all the same.

The only person that she had been able to relate to about these things so far had been Killian.

Pushing through the double doors of his building, she turned up the steps to head up to his floor.

The thing that was different about the dorms in the high risk building was that they weren’t numbered. They were specifically assigned to each student and had their names written on placards next to the doors. Like living in a senior living facility.

Her grandmother’s room had been labeled similarly when she had visited when she was younger.

Killian’s door wasn’t that far from the stairwell, and she knocked twice on the door, listening to see if anyone was there.

There wasn’t any response right away, and Emma sighed. She was really looking forward to hanging out with him for a bit.

Just as she was turning to head back down the hall towards the stairs, Killian’s door swung open.

“Emma, what are you doing here?” He asked, surprised.

“Would you believe me if I said i was avoiding people?” She asked, suddenly unsure of herself.

“I would actually, since you are the only person who knows the location of my secret lair.” Killian said with a sarcastic twitch of an eyebrow.

Emma gave him a deadpan look and pointed up at his name card on the door.

“Okay, not so very secret,” Killian Laughed, “but the people that you would want to avoid don’t know where it is.”

“Do you mind if I come in?” She asked.

“Not at all, Please join me.” Killian said, stepping aside and gesturing into his room.

“Thank you,” Emma replied, grateful.

His room was not that much different than hers with two twin beds; a left over from the traditional college dorms, two dressers and a desk, a small kitchen and private bathroom.

While Emma had pushed her two beds together to make an attempt at a larger mattress a few years ago, Killian had kept his separate, choosing to make both of them into a sleeping space.

“Expecting someone?” Emma joked as she set her stuff down on the unoccupied bed.

“No, but it’s a familiar habit really.” Killian said. At her blank expression, he explained further. “I used to be a Lieutenant in Her Majesty’s Royal Navy. Having at least one other bunk mate was normal on a ship. As odd as it sounds, it’s familiar.”

Emma could understand that. When everything in her life was spiraling when she first arrived, she had the people who set up the rooms decorate hers like her room had been at home.

“That makes sense. And the Navy? I don’t know if I ever thought you to be a military guy.” Emma said.

“Well, I thought you had an inkling when you called me ‘Sailor’ the other night” Killian responded.

She flushed when she thought back on the night that she had kissed him for the first time.

She hadn’t been planning to do that, quite the opposite really. She had been prepared to burn the night away brooding in the rain when he had materialized out of the dark, answering a prayer she didn’t remember saying.

It had been a comfort having him there with her on that night, and he had gotten her to laugh when she hadn’t been anywhere near happy when he found her.

And she was curious, to see how her first kiss would be. If it would have lived up to everything that the books she had read made it out to be. It had surpassed all her expectations.

It felt like she was standing in the sun on a not quite warm day, and that first burst of bubbles after drinking sparkling wine on new year’s day, and that rush of joy from hearing a baby’s infectious laugh.

“No, I didn’t know. But you had so many nicknames for me already with love, and swan and all that, I had to come up with something of my own to call you.” Emma said, coming back to the present.

“Well, it fit better than you had even thought, didn’t it?” Killian said, laying back on the other bed and looking over at her from under the hair now falling into his eyes.

“It’s funny how some things work out, huh?” She said. “So, how did you end up in Her Majesty’s Royal Navy?” Emma asked, attempting to mimic his british accent and failing horribly.

Killian laughed in response. “That was horrible, but I will tell you how that all came about just for that sad attempt.”

Killian looked pensive for a moment.

“I actually followed my brother into the Navy.”

“How old is your brother?” She asked.

“Liam is 8 years my senior, so he would be about 33 by now. I followed him into the academy as soon as I completed upper school, or high school as you would call it here. Liam had already risen through the ranks a bit, he was already a sub-lieutenant by the time I had started my first days at the academy.”

“That must have been nice, already having another family member in the armed forces to be able to take advice from.”

“It would have been, if it weren't my brother.” Killian said bitterly, looking up at the ceiling.

“How so?”

“Liam can be a right selfish ass if he wants to be. Pardon my language.” Killian said, looking over at her apologetically.

“I don’t mind,” She said, gesturing for him to continue with his story.

“Liam has always had this attitude that he can do no wrong and anytime I do something wrong it is because I am trying to bring attention to myself in the wrong manner. I don’t know when it started but that image of me being the lesser of the two Jones brothers got really hard to shake the further along i got in the academy. But he is my brother, and I love him.” He said, still staring at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry he treated you that way.” She said after a few moments uncomfortable silence.

“It’s no trouble. I won’t be seeing him again for a long while anyhow.” Killian said, finally turning to  look at her again. “Now, I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon after our conversation, what happened?”

Killian had always been able to read her fairly well. “Mary Margaret made a comment that came across along the lines of how you don’t seem the type of person to be considered high risk and I do, and it didn’t... doesn’t sit well with me.” Emma said.

“And nor should it, that was very rude of her.”

“It was, and more the crux of the matter is that no matter how hard they try, they don’t seem to get it.”

“Get what?” He asked.

“They don’t get what it’s like to have someone look at you and not see you, to only see your power and the fear of that power that you have. And it has always been this way. They always plan things and not take into consideration whether or not I can go, or if it is something that I would have liked to have been included on.” Emma vented. It felt good to be able to talk about it to someone.

She looked over at Killian, “And while you may be new to this sort of thing, and this sort of life, you already understand me better than they do. And I wanted to go somewhere I wouldn’t be judged and wouldn’t be subjected to an interrogation about my romantic interests.”

Killian smirked, “Well, you won’t be interrogated on my watch Love.”

Emma smiled at him as he began to tell her more stories about his time in the Navy. They spent the entire afternoon swapping childhood stories.

[topismyworshipmusic]

Why is East Up?

Under the cut you can read my theory as to why Tyler says “east is up” in the new Twenty Øne Piløts song Nico and the Niners. I hope you enjoy it!

Hey frends! I hope you’re having a wonderful week so far. First I’d like to thank all of you who followed me after I posted the study I did on Jumpsuit. I really appreciate the support and I’m super encouraged by your feedback and interest in learning how I think Twenty Øne Piløts songs are connected to Jesus. Today I’m going to be dissecting Nico and the Niners, personally I think that this song is more of a jab at the music industry and a way to set up the whole story of Clancy and Dema, but there are quite a few lyrics that point to Jesus and today we’re going to be looking at them.

The song starts with the new Clique chant “east is up!”, but why east? And why is east up? If you look at a compass or a map you’d know that east is clearly not up. But do you know what is up and rises to the east? The sun. Do you know who else is the sun? Jesus. Jesus is the Son of Man, Jesus even admitted that He is the Son of Man when He was on trial before He was nailed onto the cross to die for our sins. Mark 14:62 reads “"I am," said Jesus. "And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven." The next lyric of the song is “I’m fearless when I hear this on the low” to me this means that Tyler’s fearless when he’s around a body of believers, people that chant the same chant as he does and believes the same things he believes. Matthew 18:10 reads “For wherever two or three gather in My name I am there.” The next lyric of the song is “I’m careless when I wear my rebel clothes” Tyler’s “rebel clothes” is the armor of God or his Jumpsuit (if you want to read about why I think Tyler’s Jumpsuit is Jesus click here). Ephesians 6:10-18 reads “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit,which is the word of God.” Tyler’s Jumpsuit protects him. It covers him in grace, love and fearlessness, with man this is impossible, but with Tyler’s Jumpsuit aka Jesus, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). Tyler’s Jumpsuit protects him, it guards him, just like it says in Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

The next verse of the song to me is not so much about God as it is about the music industry, but that’s a story for a different day. We’re here to talk about Jesus. I want to look at the chorus with you guys right now, Tyler says “I'm heavy, my jumpsuit is on steady I'm lighter when I'm lower, I'm higher when I'm heavy, oh I'm so high, my jumpsuit takes me so high I'm flying from a fire, from Nico and the Niners”. To me “I’m heavy, my jumpsuit is on steady” means that Tyler is grounded in his faith and he’s confident in his relationship with Jesus. This lyric reminds me of Colossians 2:6-7 which says “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” In order to be grounded in the Lord, you need to be heavy with His word daily. You need to make the effort to have a relationship with Jesus and He will always accept your friendship. The next lyric is “I’m lighter when I’m lower”. To me this lyric means that in order to be saturated in Jesus and His word you need to lower yourself, 1 Peter 5:6 says “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.” and Matthew 19:30 reads “But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.” Both of these Bible verses talk about how in order to be close to Jesus you need to be humble, you can’t be prideful or think that you’re better than everyone else, but you need to realize that all of our sins are equal at the foot of the cross and all of our sin sent Jesus to die on that cross. In the next lyric Tyler says “I’m higher when I’m heavy” again, I think that this means in order to be higher or closer to God you need to be heavy or anchored in his word. Hebrews 6:17-19 says “ So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain,”.

The next part of the song is a rap that I believe describes what happens in the Heathens music video. In the Heathens video, Tyler is a prisoner and the rap in Nico and the Niners Tyler says “what a beautiful day for making a break for it”, like he’s breaking out of prison. Before Jesus we are all prisoners to sin, we’re caught in the chains, shame, guilt, fear and bondage of the world, but on the beautiful day that we decide to make Jesus Lord those chains are broken. Jesus is a chain breaker, in Psalm 107:4 it says “He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains.” and in 1 Peter 2:9 it says “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” As followers of Jesus we are God’s special possession. How awesome is that? The creator of the universe loves you so much that you’re his special possession. The only other lyric in the rap that reminds me of Jesus is “we’ll win, but not everyone with get out” because even though the battle is won, not everyone will decided to follow Jesus and make it out of this world 1 Corinthians 9:24 says “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” The only one who gets the prize is the person that follows Jesus and trusts Him wholeheartedly. You don’t need to be perfect to win the prize, but you do have to love God with all your heart, mind, and soul (Matthew 22:37).

Thank you so much for reading this little study/devo/thingy I did on Nico and the Niners. Feel free to message me if you want to add anything or if you have any song requests. Also, the color for this era is yellow and what is yellow used to represent? Light. Who is the light of the world? Jesus. Jesus is the light of the world. When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." - John 8:12

Edit to add - I compeletly forgot to hit on the lyric “my Jumpsuit takes me so high, I’m flying from a fire, from Nico and the Niners.” To me this is a very clear reference to Jesus and how He pulls us out of the fire of hell. This lyric reminds me of the story of The Rich Man and Lazarus from Luke 16:19-31 because in order for Jesus to take you out of the fire you have to follow Him by humbling yourself and living the way He wants us to live. In this lifetime we all have to make the decision to follow Him, we need to make the choice to love Him so he can save us from the fire, from our Nico and the Niners. 

“There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day.At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores. The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’ But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been set in place, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’“He answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my family, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’ Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’ “‘No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’ He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’”

[metalandmagi]

December End of the Year Media Madness!

It’s a new month and a new year! And what a crazy month it was what with Tumblr imploding and all. But I’ll still throw this on here just because I’ll be on this site until it literally boots me out. But I do have a twitter now…@metalandmagi where I’m also barely active at all.

Anyway, why make top 10 lists for the entire year when I can just ramble about all the media I consumed this month? There’s only a marginal amount of holiday things on here by my standards!

November media

Movies!

Give me some credit there’s only four Christmas movies on here.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?: A documentary about Mr. Rogers starting with the birth of the television show to his death. This is the fluffiest most heartwarming thing I could have possibly picked to watch on Christmas, and I encourage everyone, even people who hate documentaries and/or never grew up with Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, to watch it. There’s a lot of important messages about acceptance, dealing with tragedy, and mental health that people can learn from and feel good about. Not to mention how he completely revolutionized children’s television. So yeah, he was awesome.10/10

Spider-man Into the Spider-verse: When a rip between dimensions is opened, a bunch of different spider themed superheroes from every comic fan’s wet dreams all get together to close it. Guys I’m not that big of a Spider-man fan, but dang this movie was a ton of fun. I came for the amazing visual effects and stayed for the amazing...everything else. The music, the performances, and the story were all top notch. Also I now have a new favorite Nick Cage role. If you thought the trailer made the animation look interesting, it was just the tip of the iceberg because it is the most visually interesting movie I’ve seen in the last three years. I strongly suggest any fan of animation...or even any fan of great stories and movies in general go see it even if you’re not that big on Spider-Man. Now I’m demanding a Spider-verse Aunt May movie because I have so many questions! And the post credits scene was the best out of any Marvel movie. Period. 10,000/10

The Wiz (2015 musical): I should start making a section for musicals or plays instead of just lumping it in with the movies. It’s the Wizard of Oz...but cool. I’ve never seen any iteration of The Wiz and it seems like I’m constantly hearing about it. So I watched the 2015 version of the 1975 Broadway musical that NBC aired. And yeah it’s good. There were some great performances. But I wasn’t very impressed with the songs themselves, and it’s not really the same without a dog along for the ride, but whatever. 7.5/10

Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle: The surprisingly fun reboot/sequel thing of Jumanji where four teenagers get stuck in a video game that follows every “stuck in a video game” trope you can imagine but actually does it well. It’s a sweet, funny romp through the jungle with some great comedic performances. I really don’t have much to say about it except that this movie is better than it has any right to be. 8/10

The Christmas Chronicles: Two children stow away on Kurt Russell’s, I mean Santa’s sleigh and go on a dangerous, balls to the wall adventure throughout Chicago trying to save Christmas or something. After everyone started talking about how crazy this Netflix movie is I had to watch it to verify if it is indeed as wild as they said. And yes...yes it is. It is so laughably ridiculous and questionable that it’s impossible to actually hate. The elves are some unholy mixture of minions and gremlins, one of the children is a literal felon that no one is concerned about, and Kurt Russell is super into the role but has some sort of thing about fat-shaming Santa. I just...have so many questions! But it was certainly a trip, so I’d have to recommend it just so you too can witness the insanity. -10 “savvy, straight-talking St. Nicks”/10

Arthur Christmas: No, it’s not a Christmas special related to the aardvark cartoon! This is the 2011 animated movie that no one remembers exists. Santa’s clumsy but enthusiastic son Arthur must deliver a forgotten present in less than two hours while the rest of his family deals with some Arrested Development style family drama. This is by far the most underrated Christmas movie of all time; even I didn’t realize it was actually good until I watched it for the first time in 2016! The fun road-trip style plot and the entertaining characters were victims of bad marketing. Arthur is hilariously endearing, and there was so much heart and effort put into it that I can find new things to notice every time I watch it. Not to mention the amazingly animated opening spy sequence! And also Mrs. Claus is secretly a total badass and Bryony the elf is the coolest female character in a Christmas movie ever. The movie’s message of old vs new is nothing we haven’t seen before, but I really don’t care because at the heart of it all, it’s about making people happy on Christmas. If you’re like me and just assumed this movie would suck...or didn’t know it exists, please give it a chance. It’s not perfect, but it’s worth seeing. 9/10

Neo Yokio Pink Christmas: Yes, it’s the Christmas special for Neo Yokio. No I cannot accurately describe it with mere words. There’s a rich bachelor gift exchange, demon possession, and pompous French aunts slinging insults at each other. It is unironically my favorite holiday episode of a show ever, and to me it’s the best Christmas special ever made. I thought I was prepared for the absolute bat-shit ride I would go on, but no...I wasn’t even close. At this point I don’t know if it’s written like this on purpose or if some divine twist of fate made the executives believe this is truly brilliant television. Either way, it is a masterpiece in its own right. There’s even a somewhat intriguing plot and a message about gift giving and capitalism under all the crazy! If you haven’t jumped down the rabbit hole yet, I implore you to watch the insanity that is Neo Yokio and follow it up with Pink Christmas because it will truly make your holiday season. 100,000 demon DNA drugs out of 100,000!

Die Hard: Nothing says Christmas like terrorists taking over a skyscraper and Bruce Willis having to take them all down by himself. Yeah...so I’ve never seen Die Hard before, but this is one of those movies that is so famous that I felt like I’d already absorbed everything important through cultural osmosis. And even though it’s pretty good, I would have liked it better if I didn’t know what was going to happen. My only real complaint is that I think it goes on way too long. More than anything it just made me sad to remember that Alan Rickman is gone. And it bothers me so much that John McClane goes through this building that’s under construction WITHOUT SHOES! 8/10

Books!

The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis: The 4th/6th book in the Chronicles of Narnia, in which Eustace Scrubb and his classmate Jill Pole go to the underworld to find King Caspian’s long lost son. Even though my children- the Pevensies aren’t in it, I actually think this book is my favorite of the series so far. Jill and Eustace are both sassy enough to play off each other, Puddleglum absolutely hilarious, and the book actually has a clear cut plot! It reads much more like a Greek myth than a children’s fairy tale since there aren’t nearly as many of Lewis’s trademark author interjections, and you know...it’s a literal journey to the underworld. And can I just say that it’s super refreshing to have an author write two main characters WITH ZERO ROMANTIC INTENTIONS! Especially since they’re freaking children! Now I just wish Disney had continued the movies even more! 9/10

Queen of Air and Darkness by Cassandra Clare: I’m going to do this with only minor spoilers. It’s the final book in The Dark Artifices trilogy. Will Emma and Julian break the parabatai bond? Will the reflection of the modern day American government- I mean the Cohort/ the Clave fuck up the relationships between Shadowhunters and Downworlders forever? You’ll have to suffer like the rest of us to find out! In my opinion, 99% of this book is amazing, but in the last 50 pages there are some...bullshit ways of solving problems. Like everything that went down with the Cohort in Idris. Not to mention we’ve been so invested in the parabatai curse and how Julian and Emma’s bond would go down and...let’s just say the resolution was way too easy. And if you thought Clare’s other finales were jam packed, you ain't seen nothin’ yet. My copy is 880 pages and there was still more stuff that I wanted to happen...like any sort of scene between Dru and Ash...or an ending between Kit and Ty that doesn’t make me want to cry (the Wicked Powers is going to be brutal). But the rest of that 99% is mind-blowing! There’s so much good I can say that it mostly outranks anything I didn’t like...I mean we finally got a Malec wedding and a proper polyamorous relationship for the Angel’s sake! It may be my least favorite of her finales by default but it was still a fun ride! 9/10

TV shows!

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018): An elite soldier finds a sword that can transform her into a super buff magical girl who helps princesses take down the forces of evil. It’s a reboot of the 1980s cartoon, and holy crap it’s AMAZING! I have a whole new group of children to adopt, each episode is entertaining in its own way, and there’s so...many...good...ships! And it gives Steven Universe a run for its money with the care that went into making every character a different kind of warrior, which I love because the cast is 99% female. My only real complaint is that I never warmed up to Catra because she wasn’t particularly sympathetic to me from the beginning. But I understand why some people love her. If you love well crafted adventurous character driven cartoons and haven’t watched it yet WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?  10/10

Nailed It Holiday: Yes, my favorite baking show (and by that I mean the only baking show I watch) has a holiday season out on Netflix, in which newbie bakers are tasked with making incredibly professional desserts with a very short time limit. And whoever makes the best treat gets 10,000 dollars. I’ve talked about this show before in my June media madness, and I don’t know what it is but I’m so addicted to it. 10/10

Brooklyn nine-nine (season 5): Come on we all know the cop sitcom. It’s the best sitcom. Just in general it’s the best. Great characters that subvert expectations, great humor, and a lot of heart. I’ve known that this show is supposed to be amazing for years, but I only started watching it a few months ago. And since I couldn’t find season 5 anywhere...I got a Hulu subscription just to watch it before season 6 comes out. That’s how good this show is. 10/10

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (season 2): Our favorite underdog comedian is back, and she’s slowly gaining popularity and doing...stuff. Like going on tour. And hanging out with Zachary Levi. Yes, this season is great, but my problem with this series is that every character aside from Midge and Susie are the fucking worst, especially the parents. Midge’s parents suck, Joel’s parents suck, Midge and Joel are appropriately neglectful parents for the time period...I could go on. And it’s not even in a funny way; like it’s just disgusting to watch these power dynamics. Not to mention how old the comedic bits for the parents get (how many times can we hear about Joel needing to date or Midge needing to get married?!) Yes, I realize that we’re supposed to be annoyed AND YES I realize that this is a product of culture and how society was, but none of the parents have any redeeming qualities. In episode one, we’re led to believe that Midge’s parents will grow and change through the season and they never do! At least there are moments where Joel can kind of be redeeming and expand on his actual character before he reverts back to being an asshole. Anyway, my thoughts are pretty much the same as the first season. It’s funny and interesting to watch, but it can be ridiculously frustrating when you hate almost all the characters!  8/10

Fuller House (season 4): Yes I do watch the ridiculous Netflix reboot of Full House. And yes, it is absolutely terrible! I really really hate it! But will I stop watching it? Let’s just say you can pry this pile of garbage from my cold dead hands. I don’t know if I’d call this a guilty pleasure or a hate watch type of show... it’s certainly not so bad it’s good territory like Neo Yokio...but Full House was pretty much my entire childhood. And yes, the original show is also not great. I loved it as a kid, and it was my first real exposure to a non-traditional family in live action, but yeah it doesn’t age well. What I’m trying to say is...I have no good reason for watching this.

I don’t mean to say that there’s nothing good about it, especially this season. They really back off on the more cringe-worthy catch phrases, Stephanie being aware of how stupid the writing is and constantly pointing it out is actually funny, their Christmas episode was surprisingly genuine, and they impressed me by actually make two female characters try and work through their difficulties instead of pitting them against each other for laughs. It has its moments, just like the original but definitely not enough to make up for the worst of it. Maybe this generation of children will like it the way lots of my generation used to like Full House...but yeah it’s awful, I hate it so much. -1 missing Tanner child out of 3

Voltron Legendary Defender (season 8) SPOILERS: It’s the final season of Netflix’s Voltron, and boy it was...something. I didn’t want to make this a big rant/defense of the show...but I feel like I have to highlight some things because this fandom is a shithole that refuses to see the good in anything.

There is so much good and so much...not good I can say about it, so here’s a couple things. I know this show didn’t go the direction anyone wanted, but that doesn’t make it bad. In addition to the stunning fight scenes and music, the performances this season were just amazing! I literally wanted to cry every other episode even though sometimes I didn’t know why the fuck something was happening. I don’t know how I feel about Honerva’s plan. I understand her motivation, but I was constantly questioning how we got from point A to point B... so yeah the plot and writing could be...weird at times. Also everyone seemed to have super pointy chins this season...

Spoiler alert: Not many of us wanted Lance and Allura to happen, but I truly believe it wasn’t done in a half assed way. At the very least, I appreciate that they had a genuine bond that developed over so many seasons. BECAUSE YES IT DID! Anyone who says they had no development or that it felt forced never paid attention. I wanted it to stay platonic; I wanted Klance to happen, but...I can’t be too mad at the writers because they at least tried. I still believe that Klance was endgame and the creators were forced to change the outcome of the show later on. AND YES LANCE DID GET A CHARACTER ARC! It may not have been the one we wanted to see, but I’m baffled that people think Lance living with his family, surrounded by people he loves-which is what he wanted all along- is not a happy ending. I just wish his relationship with Keith wasn’t pretty much ignored all season. But I believe Allura is his past that taught him to genuinely love and Keith is his future who will make Lance his “first choice”. And I’m not even gonna try to explain how I feel about Shiro and Allura’s endings because everything I feel is so complicated and layered. There is good and there is bad.

TLDR: This show teaches us that we’re stronger together, and I think the “fandom” completely missed the point because they do nothing but tear others down and refuse to look at things from other perspectives. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT LIKE IT, BUT YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE AWAY OTHER PEOPLE’S ENJOYMENT AND BE A DICK ABOUT IT. It may not have been everything I wanted, but I’m glad I went on this ride. Besides, there are canonically infinite realities so there’s got to be a reality where all your dreams for the show come true. As a season, I’d say it’s a 7.5/10.

Honorable Mentions

I watched Avengers: Infinity War again. And yes it’s still great.

I’m watching Superstore because when another sitcom comes on before The Good Place, why not? Also since I finished season 5 of Brooklyn 99 I had to use my Hulu subscription for something.

Camp Camp has a holiday episode...so naturally I watched it...several times. Please watch Camp Camp.

Hellsing Ultimate Abridged finally ended, and I feel obligated to shout this out because, hey when you put out one episode a year it’s a big accomplishment to finish it!

Super Smash Bros Ultimate is finally here!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THE WINTER ANIME IS ENDING!!! They were all so amazing! So shout out to Iroduku-The world in colors, Bloom into You, Hinomaru Sumo, Dakaichi, Banana Fish, Jingai no Yomen, Golden Kamuy, Skull-faced Bookseller Honda-san, Tsurune, AND RUN WITH THE WIND even though they’re not finished yet.

[glowloading346]

Phpstorm Slow

Once upon a time, PhpStorm was the IDE I loved. I thought I would use it all my life, happily without looking at any other editor.

Phpstorm Slow Cooker

Phpstorm Slow Ftp

Phpstorm Show Main Menu

Phpstorm Slow Startup

I was wrong.

I discovered the true love of my live, called Vim.

Are you confused? Are you yelling “why” to the deaf sky? What happened between PhpStorm and me? Why a PHP developer would use this… old smelly thing called Vim?

Phpstorm does a very good job of saving, importing, exporting settings so upgrading your Phpstorm version doesn't require you to redo all your settings. This is also beneficial if you are setting up Phpstorm on another computer or sharing your company coding style guide with other developers. Now you will be working with the terminal - you can use Window's cmd or the PHPStorm's terminal. I prefer to use the terminal built inside the PHPStorm - it is: better, faster and more intuitive. I prefer to use the terminal built inside the PHPStorm - it is: better, faster and more intuitive.

I was happy with PhpStorm. We had a productive relationship. Its basic rules was simple, as simple as many text editor in the computing world. You use a mouse, you click where you want to change or add something, somewhere. The basic editor. We are all used to that from the beginning of times!

PhpStorm provides the following main ways to upload project files and folders to deployment servers: Manually, at any time through a menu command. Automatically, every time a file is updated, or before starting a debugging session, or during a commit to your version control system. PHPStorm was and now is very slow under Linux (currently am using version 2016.2). All its versions were slow. Even at powerful computers with SSD. Jamming and sticking is a normal behavior for this program. It's a pity that authors do not pay attention to it. Running PHP storm on windows 10 is incredible slow. I'm running PHPstorm on my windows 10 laptop, where it is extremly slow. I made a screenshot showing the about information. I have a 64bit so I'm correct running phpstorm64.exe for this. During work I'm also using phpstorm on an.unix system, which is great. So I thought about buying a private license for me at home, but with the given performance I really cant work.

I loved the auto completion with PhpStorm! I loved the fact that you could find easily a peculiar file even within a massive codebase. I loved its stability. I liked the snippets. I loved its numerous options to refactor, generate getter / properties / methods using one or two handy shortcuts.

And now, I don’t use it anymore.

Firstly, I want to tell you my story with Vim and PhpStorm in order for you to understand how you can switch between the two.

Then I will compare the two and underline what Vim brings on the table.

Vim: the Hate before the Love

It was a newcomer who first showed me Vim.

He was a PHP developer hired in the company I was working for. I was curious, I began to look what tools and IDE he was using, expecting seeing the good old PhpStorm, like every good PHP developer who suffered too much with Eclipse.

“I don’t use PhpStorm” said the newcomer. “Vim is way better!”.

Vim! This dinosaur! This boring terminal editor! So complex nobody knows how to use it, except the perfect nerd without life / girlfriend / whatever real things!How can he compares the wonderful shiny PhpStorm with this relic?

At that point, I went in a crusade. I tried to show him how a good IDE with tons of features could suit his needs even better than this… Vim thing! Without success, I let him swimming in his ocean of mistakes, sad he couldn’t see the Truth as I was.

Time past. Days became years. Years became centuries. I began to understand that this newcomer was a very interested and knowledgeable developer. It astonished me. How can he be that good and use Vim?

Quickly we began to work on the same project: a tandem was born.

The Time of Mockeries

I mocked my work tandem. A lot. He was persisting in his mistake to use Vim and I couldn’t do anything to dissuade him.

I mocked the austerity of Vim’s interface. I mocked the fact that he had to configure everything in config files. I mocked that this configuration (in my opinion) was always broken. Who wants to code with a broken IDE? It was pure nonsense.

With hindsight, I may have been a bit jealous. He mastered a tool full of shortcuts in order to use the mouse as less as he can, and, without knowing it, I envied him.I envied him because I didn’t feel capable to learn how to use Vim in a reasonable amount of time.

More and more, my contempt toward Vim let place to curiosity.

PhpStorm and Me: the Breakdown

My attraction and curiosity toward Vim kept growing and growing.

The hate became love when I decided two things:

Quitting the company I was working in.

Learning to type like true crazy typists.

I wasn’t happy at that time, till I decided to quit the company I was working for. My decision opened new horizons and a true desire to learn more about everything.Moreover, I wanted to learn a maximum from my fellow work tandem before leaving for new and crazy adventures.

I wanted at the same moment to get rid of my very bad habit of typing with two or three fingers. I wanted to use typists techniques: using the home row keys and my ten fingers.

Quickly I began to understand the power of this typing method. You feel definitely faster and more in control of your computer. A very cool sensation!I knew as well that Vim was designed for this type of typing. Due to the pleasure I had with my new typing techniques, I slowly decided to give Vim a chance.

More and more, I asked tips to my tandem in order to learn how to use The Beast. At first, I just wanted to use it for editing configuration or text files, not for actually coding, too afraid that it would put down my productivity.

I stopped using PhpStorm in two weeks. Transfer from bitpay to coinbase.

Vim vs PhpStorm

Vim on the left, PhpStorm on the right. The clash.

Here we are finally: the comparison between PhpStorm and Vim. Do you want to replace PhpStorm with something more powerful and versatile? Do you want to be sure that Vim is the good choice?

I won’t cover here how to do a PHP IDE out of Vim since I wrote another article on the topic.

Who’s in Charge: You or Your IDE?

An IDE is obviously very important for developers. It’s the tool which helps us doing what we like: coding. It simplifies our lives, automatize all these boring stuff you repeat over and over again.

Therefore your IDE should reflect the way you are coding. It should give you the choice for you to do what you want, the way you want.

PhpStorm doesn’t really give you many choices: it is a bunch of tools and you have to stick with them.I never used 70% of it. I know a lot of shortcuts and I am able to navigates in the panels without even using the mouse. However I never used the composer tools / terminal / git GUI / database interface thingy integrated in PhpStorm.

I couldn’t configure that. I couldn’t choose to install what I wanted, what I needed. PhpStorm was choosing for me.

The result? Many panels and notifications popping, a lot of visual noise which was totally useless for me. Perfect to lose focus.

Some may argue that PhpStorm is really configurable compared to other IDE. It is nothing compared to Vim.

Vim has a great community who develop a LOT of plugin. Nowadays you can install them and get rid of them by typing two words. Not even command lines. Words.

You can choose exactly what you want and what suits you. You can even modify it easily and extends it. Vim can be bent following your wishes.

You are the master.

PhpStorm Only Allow You to Code in… PHP

Another point which was bothering me for a long time. Of course you can use it to write HTML / CSS but you won’t have many tools for those. And what about Go you want to learn so hardly? Ruby? Basic?

Vim is an editor, not an IDE, but you can make an IDE out of it for every language you want. Right now, I have very good auto completion systems for PHP, JavaScript, Go and Ruby.

Even better: the plugins can be activated depending of the file type you are editing. You will never have the Ruby autocompletion while editing a PHP file. Sweet, isn’t it?

I have tons of plugins for refactoring, creating snippets and so on. No need to change IDE and get use to different interfaces. With Vim I can switch from one language to another transparently. Believe me, it’s awesome.

When I open Vim, everything I need is there for whatever language.

Vim is Light

Each time I open PhpStorm I have the impress that my computer is running a marathon. And he doesn’t do well.

Even on my very lightweight arch linux / i3 system (running on very good hardware), everything suddenly slow down. Welcome to the Matrix, or the stop motion applied to computing!

Sometimes I like to open two projects at the same time to get some configuration or code from one to another. Sometimes I want to open even more if I need to work with multiple micro services.

With PhpStorm… you know what I am talking about. Your memory scream, your CPU burns some calories, your vans consume more electricity than your fridge.

In comparison, Vim is a feather. So light! You can run multiple instances of it if you want, your computer won’t slow down.Try to use Vim, then come back to PhpStorm and you will see what I’m talking about.

Your hardware will love Vim.

Vim is Fun

This is something I didn’t imagine: Vim is really fun to use. This is something my work tandem told me, and it’s so true: it’s basically the gamification of coding.

It is time to precise a bit how to use it. There are many modes in this editor:

The Normal mode is for executing commands (delete words, lines, paragraphs and a lot of others). Basically, it’s to edit your text (or code).

The insert mode is there for you to concretely write.

A simple separation of concern and, believe me, it’s brilliant!

This is Vim: you can learn to be productive with it in a couple of minutes (I promise). Get used to it may take a bit more time, and then you will learn new stuff all your life. The whole editor feel so logical that you will come up with new way to do things without even asking Google. Yes, by yourself, only!

Like: “Maybe if I press those keys, it will do that eventually. Yes it does! I’m a genius!”

Indeed, Vim is so sweet, you can talk to it like an old friend. For example: you want to delete all characters from your cursor till the coma? In Normal mode, type dt,, which means delete till ,. You can do as well dtf, which delete till f. Magical!

In comparison, PhpStorm is boring. To me, 70% of the tools are useless (by adding a useless graphical interface on top on very efficient terminal tools) and the editor itself use the mouse extensively, like 99% of the editors in the world.If shortcuts were invented, it’s because it’s more convenient and fast to use the keyboard to execute actions. Vim definitely nailed that.

If you want to build a complete Mouseless Development Environment, you might be interested by this book.

To be honest with you, I always have the impression I’m some sort of a hacker doing crazy things with my keyboard in three different Vim instances. Of course I am just writing down my shopping list but… who cares? The feeling is great!

I am always happy when I discover a new shortcut or way to do thing even more easily. It’s like finding a secret way to beat a video game even faster! Gamification, I tell you.

PhpStorm Cost Money

PhpStorm is not free, far from it. Even if it’s pretty affordable (around 100euro), you pay only for one year. Welcome to the era of renting instead of acquiring…

If you want a Go, Ruby or whatever IDE for whatever language, you have to pay. Again.

Vim is free, available on everything (linux, windows, mac).

You Might be Faster with Vim…

Honestly I don’t care that much if I’m faster with it. To me, being fast doesn’t mean being a good developer. Our brain is more valuable than our typing speed.

However you will feel fast and precise, which is a good cherry on the cake. Adblock plus google chrome. Especially when you have to move a bunch of classes and renaming namespaces again and again. You know, what we call refactoring: Vim can simplify that and many other things.

Vim Allow You to do More than PhpStorm

Here some examples what you can do with Vim but not with PhpStorm:

You can search through open tabs (“buffers” in Vim), files and entire projects very fast with the fzf plugin. Even faster than with PhpStorm.

You can go directly to php.net with a keystroke when you are on a method / function / whatever to see its definition. Very handy.

You can run Vim with a GUI or in the terminal. Doing the last will open a lot of possibility like the winning combo zsh / tmux / Vim. You will have a lot of flexibility and fun with those tools, I can guarantee it!

Since a tonne of plugins exist for Vim you can extend the possibilities as you wish. You can even write little functions which extend / alter whatever you want.

The possibilities are infinite.

A Great Community

A lot of people use Vim and will be happy to help you. You have access to a lot of plugins for every development language you dream of.

Some will argue (as I did) than Vim is too old. It is a strength! Think about it: what software is more stable than the one tested for decades?

It is very stable indeed, thanks to the community. If you are stuck, if you have a problem, you have tons of resources where you can found the solution.

Neovim!

Vim is old and maintained for a long long time, which means as well that its codebase is (apparently) not-that-goodish.That is why a bunch of people rewrote the whole editor. It’s called Neovim and it’s compatible with every Vim plugin available.

Even if it’s still in beta I didn’t have any issues with it. It works like a charm.

I want to be in love with Vim! Tell me how!

First you need to be motivated and learn how to properly use it. It is less complicated than you think.

You Work on Linux or macOs? Try Vimtutor!

First, go to your terminal.Then type vimtutor. Press enter.Here we are!

Vimtutor comes with a lot of linux-based distribution. It is a 15 minutes tutorial for you to learn Vim’s basics. After that, you can begin to use Vim for whatever need you have.

15 minutes! Who said that Vim was complicated?

You don’t believe me? Just try it!

Get Inspired by Other’s Configurations

Vim alone is a bit… too weak functionality wise. You need plugins, and the best way to find what you need is to look to configurations from other developers.They are most of the time hosted publicly on github.

Here my personnal config.

Be careful though. It is tempting to copy entire configuration from others but you will be lost very quickly. Vim needs to be personalized. It can suits you if you take the time to tune it depending on your needs.

Take the configurations available on the web as inspirations. Copy them little by little, plugin by plugin. Test it, try to understand what the plugin is doing. Take your time. Read the plugin documentations. In short: do everything with Vim you should do as a developer. Analyzing, acting step by step and see if it suits your need.

Vim Cheat Sheet

My advice for the beginning: having a cheat sheet printed you can refer to. You can find a lot of them everywhere.

It will help you memorising the basics of Vim and experimenting to be more effective and have even more fun!

Vim is a Winner! But… Do I Miss PhpStorm?

I hope you are now ready to try Vim, and maybe replace PhpStorm!

Now let be honest with one another:

Yes PhpStorm has some tool that Vim doesn’t. The search plugin I use for example has less options than PhpStorm’s search… but is so faster, you’ve no idea.

In PhpStorm the auto completion was slightly better… in 2017. In 2019, Vim auto completion plugins are as good as any IntelliJ plugin.

You need to spend time configuring Vim to have a powerful PHP IDE.However, it means as well that you can personalize it the way you exactly want it to behave. An IDE should answers your need, not imposing them!

After three weeks using Vim as my PHP IDE, I tried to reinstall PhpStorm. I used it for ten minutes… before coming back to Vim.

I won’t get back to you, PhpStorm. Never. Bartender for wedding near me. I am a faithful man to Vim now.

This section provides the list of solutions and workarounds for common problems with deployments in PhpStorm.

Collecting PhpStorm deployment logs

If your issue is not addressed in this section, contact our support engineers. If asked to provide deployment logs, follow the instructions to collect them.

Select Help | Configure Debug Log in the main menu.

In the Custom Debug Log Configuration dialog that opens, add the following lines depending on the issues you are experiencing:

Issues with deployment/synchronization: #com.jetbrains.plugins.webDeployment

Issues with issues with SSH/SFTP: #com.intellij.ssh

Click OK and reproduce the issue.

Locate the log file by selecting Help | Show Log in Explorer (for Windows and Linux) or Help | Show Log in Finder (for macOS).

If necessary, you can locate the log manually:

Syntax

%HOMEPATH%.<product><version>systemlog

Example

C:UsersJohnS.PhpStorm2021.1systemlog

Syntax

~/Library/Logs/<product><version>

Example

~/Library/Logs/PhpStorm2021.1

Syntax

~/.<product><version>/system/log

Example

~/.PhpStorm2021.1/system/log

The most recent log file is named idea.log; older files names end with a number, that is idea.log.1, idea.log.2, and so on. In most cases you need only the most recent one.

Attach the log file(s) to the issue or forum thread.

General troubleshooting

Deployment is slow or fails

Deployment can be a resource-intensive operation, especially if a project or a deployment server contains lots of directories and files. In the Settings/Preferences dialog Ctrl+Alt+S, navigate to Build, Execution, Deployment and explore the following configuration options, which can speed up deployment:

Exclude directories that are not needed from deployment (for example, images). This can be done from the Deployment: Excluded Paths Tab page.

On the Options page, clear the Overwrite up-to-date files to skip uploading files that don't need to be uploaded.

Depending on the server, switching between active and passive transfer mode in the advanced FTP settings may help. This can be done by toggling Passive mode in the Deployment: Connection Tab for the server.

Limit number of concurrent FTP connections. This can be done by toggling Limit concurrent connections and setting the number of connections (usually 3-5 concurrent connections is OK for any server if you experience problems with a greater number of connections) in the Deployment: Connection Tab for the server.

File transfer becomes unresponsive

This can happen in case PhpStorm tries to resolve an IPv4 host via IPv6. By default, PhpStorm only listens for incoming IPv4 connections. To make sure IPv6 is disabled, check the PhpStorm JVM options:

Select Help | Edit Custom VM Options from the main menu.

In the .vmoptions file that opens, make sure the -Djava.net.preferIPv4Stack=true line is present.

Restart PhpStorm.

Otherwise, to enable IPv6 support, delete the -Djava.net.preferIPv4Stack=true line. In this case, make sure to add the IPv6 entry for your host to the /etc/hosts file.

Download/upload actions are not available

Download/upload actions may not be available because of a missing mapping. If a file or folder that you want to download is not configured in any mapping, PhpStorm will not download it. Mappings can be configured as described in the Map project folders to folders on the server and the URL addresses to access them.

For some actions, a default deployment server needs to be selected on the Deployment page of the Settings/Preferences dialog.

Some folders are not deployed

A common cause for folders not being deployed is when they are explicitly excluded. To solve this, in the Remote host tool window right-click the given folder and select Remove Path From Excluded from the context menu. Once this is done, the folder will be deployed.

This can also be configured from the Deployment page of the Settings/Preferences dialog Ctrl+Alt+S. Open the Excluded Paths tab for the server and remove the excluded path. Note that both the source and the target folders should be checked. Folders can also be excluded by name on the Options page under Exclude items by name.

Sharing deployment configurations between projects

Deployment Servers are configured at the IDE level: they are available for all projects and can be shared between them.

Note that only the name and connection details (specified on the Deployment: Connection Tab tab) are shared between projects: mappings and excluded paths are project-specific and have to be configured separately. Using this approach, connection details have to be entered just once, while mappings and excluded paths can be configured per-project, sharing the connection details. This can be useful when projects share the same deployment server and use the same connection settings. If connection settings are different between projects, they have to be configured for every project separately.

If necessary, you can set a server to be visible in a single project by selecting the Visible only for this project checkbox on the Deployment: Connection Tab.

IDE settings do not allow me to configure mappings

The default new project settings are used to configure the default settings for new projects and do not affect the currently opened projects. To configure settings for the current project, use the Settings/Preferences dialog Ctrl+Alt+S.

Can subfolders within the same folder have different deployment settings? Can a local folder be deployed to multiple locations?

When uploading folders and configuring mappings, note the following:

You can specify mappings for specific folders to different paths on the deployment server. This can be configured on the Deployment: Mappings Tab for the server.

You can exclude specific folders and files from being uploaded/downloaded. This can be configured on the Deployment: Excluded Paths Tab for the server.

You cannot upload the same folder (or subfolders) to different sites at once. A separate deployment configuration needs to be created for each of them and uploaded to each site one by one.

If this is what you want to do, we recommend automating the process with a capable tool. For example, Phing has an FTP task which can be used from PhpStorm. Within PhpStorm, you can use the Sync with Deployed.. command and select from available deployment servers for every upload.

I cannot assign a keyboard shortcut to the Sync With Deployed to My Server menu item

It is not possible to assign a keyboard shortcut directly to the Sync With Deployed to <server name> command, only to the generic Sync with Deployed to.. command, which will then display a popup menu with the list of servers. Refer to Configure keyboard shortcuts for details.

If you do wish to assign a keyboard shortcut to a specific deployment server, it is possible to record a Macro and assign a shortcut to it instead:

Select Edit | Macros | Start Macro Recording and start recording a Macro.

Select Tools | Deployment | Sync With Deployed to <server name> and close the sync window.

Stop recording the Macro by selecting Edit | Macros | Stop Macro Recording from the main menu.

Set the Macro name, for example Sync with <server name>.

Open in the Settings/Preferences dialog Ctrl+Alt+S, select Keymap and find the Macros node. From the context menu of the new sync Macro that was just recorded, select Add keyboard shortcut and provide the desired shortcut .

How do I deploy a database using PhpStorm?

There are a couple of ways to deploy a database using PhpStorm:

Make use of the integrated database tools and run the required DDL and SQL statements manually.

Work with Phing and set up a DBDeploy task.

Can I run a script or executable on my files before the upload occurs?

Things like minifying CSS, optimizing images, encoding PHP files using IonCube and so on are actions that you may want to execute before an upload happens. The best approach to do this is run them not when the upload is started, but when the files are changed, by using File watchers in PhpStorm. When the time comes to upload them to a deployment server, upload the processed files instead.

Note that the Skip external changes checkbox must be cleared on the Options page for this to work.

Sometimes files are not uploaded automatically

By default, PhpStorm uploads the files if they are changed by some external processes (VCS, transpilers, and so on). If the files are not uploaded, make sure that the Upload changed files automatically to the default server on the Options page is set to Always and the Skip external changes checkbox is cleared.

Can I run pre- and post-deployment actions?

It's possible using Run/Debug configurations. You can create a fake Run/Debug Configuration, or a Run/Debug configuration that should be the last step, and add the required steps under Before launch.

As an alternative, we recommend using Phing or any other build system to execute complex sequences of steps.

FTP troubleshooting

FTP issue: Invalid descendent file name 'http:'

When a deployment server has been configured or when using the Test Connection button in the project settings, the Invalid descendent file name 'http:' error is displayed. Note that all file names with a colon : in the name will be considered invalid.

This can happen if a file containing http: Pioneer desserts. in its name exists in the project. The library that PhpStorm uses to connect to FTP (Apache Commons VFS) cannot read the contents of a folder containing such a file, which causes the operation to fail. The only solution is to remove the file containing http: in its name from the project.

PhpStorm seems to connect to the server but can't list files or perform upload

Phpstorm Slow Cooker

This may be because the deployment server requires a so-called passive FTP connection. To set this mode, select the Passive mode checkbox in the Deployment: Connection Tab for the selected server.

Phpstorm Slow Ftp

Limiting the number of concurrent FTP connections may also help in this situation. To do this, open the Deployment: Connection Tab for the selected server, select the Limit concurrent connections checkbox, and set the number of connections (usually, 3-5 concurrent connections is OK for any server if you experience problems with a higher number of connections).

Phpstorm Show Main Menu

Deploying files when changing branches using Git checkout

There are a couple of ways to go about deploying files when switching between branches using Git checkout:

One way is to configure deployments to always upload files and external changes. To do this, on the Options page, set Upload changed files to the default server to Always and clear the Skip external changes checkbox. Note that this will upload all files to the server when switching branches.

Use git-ftp. It performs minimal uploads and is also able to mirror file and directory removals.

Phpstorm Slow Startup

Known issues

Is rsync supported to synchronize files and folders with a deployment server?

No. If you feel this should be part of PhpStorm vote for this issue.

[richincolor]

Black Panther Discussion Post

Marvel’s Black Panther was a highly anticipated movie and since it was released a little over a month ago has broke all sorts of box office records. Of course all of us saw the movie (some of us more than once) and like many others, we had to share our thoughts with each other. Check out our thoughts of Black Panther below. #WakandaForever

K. Imani: Favorite character? I know I’m struggling with choosing one because this beautiful ensemble cast just worked well with each other. All had their awesome moments and their strengths balanced each other out. But, if I had to choose I’d have to go with Shuri. I loved her smarts, I loved her enthusiasm, and I loved her relationship with her brother. She was just so cute and had one of the best lines in the film. My 10 year old niece loved her, so I’m hoping that young Black girls like my little niece can see how amazingly smart Shuri is and think about going into STEM fields.

Jessica: Who doesn’t love Shuri? But just to mix things up a little, I’m going to say Okoye. She delivers some of the funniest and badass lines of the movie. I mean, her introduction is her snarking on T’Challa for freezing in a fight. Her loyalty to Wakanda is clear-eyed and courageous, which I love. I’d want her on my side in any fight.

Crystal: I totally adored Shuri. She’s brilliant and hilarious. She is also someone who loves strongly and lifts others up. She’s an encourager, but also pokes at people too. They know she’s got their back, but she’s also cozy enough with people to tease them a bit. It’s hard to choose just one though. There were so many amazing characters.

Audrey: Definitely Shuri (for all the reasons you guys mentioned), but I also really loved Nakia. I was thrilled that her introduction was about saving other women (and a child soldier) because  I always love it in fiction when women get to rescue other women. (More of this, please!) She also was keenly aware of the fact that even though Wakanda had survived and prospered, there were so many others who hadn’t, and she wanted to use her privilege (and Wakanda’s) to help others.

Jessica: I think a lot of people online have made this observation already -- Erik/Killmonger’s motives were legit, but Nakia truly had it all figured out. She set the tone for the movie and T’Challa’s growth. Like, T’Challa, pro-tip for life: Always listen to Nakia.

K. Imani: Glad that you should bring up Killmonger, Jessica because the question is #TeamKillmonger or no? Because he’s such a complicated antagonist. I can’t really call him a villain because I empathize with him so much. His comment to the museum worker that all those artifacts were stolen was so on point. I also like that he challenged T’Challa on Wakanda’s isolation and the fact that they have the power to help out the oppressed around the world. His methods, however, not so much. Also, his last line was a total stab to the heart for me.

K. Imani: To me this felt like the first feminist movie from Marvel. All the women in this movie had agency and we saw all of them using their strengths in different ways. They were fierce and feminine at the same time, and T’Challa really depended upon all of them. He listened to what they had to say and treated them as equals. Not to cross streams, but I felt Black Panther did a better job of being a feminist film than Wonder Woman because all the women owned their power and it didn’t come from the love from a man. What do you all think?

Jessica: I haven’t watched Wonder Woman (eep!), but I love how present, varied, and interesting all the women were in Black Panther. You’ve got Shuri, the meme-savvy, tech-savvy younger sister. Nakia, an activist, warrior, and hero in her own right who knows better than T’Challa what the future of Wakanda is. And then you have Okoye, who portrays strength and tradition, and isn’t afraid to take some know-it-all white guy down a peg. Plus, you can’t forget the regal and awesome Queen Ramonda. And I think it’s pretty safe to say that T’Challa is the great hero that he is because he spends time with all these incredible women who lead the way.

Crystal: I agree. The women were powerful and varied. The men were there, but they couldn’t have accomplished anything without the women at their sides. There were so many different women involved too. The power came from the panther goddess to begin with and of course there were the women warriors (Dora Milaje), but there was also Shuri, Nakia and even an elder tribe leader. These women had power and they were not afraid to use it.

Audrey: As much as I loved Wonder Woman, I am incredibly tired of the “one elite woman on a team of men” trope, even if she is the most powerful of all the men by far. There simply wasn’t enough time in that movie to give the Amazons any meaningful depth because Diana left the island so quickly and then got swallowed up by the World of Men (and 95% Men All The Time).

In contrast, Black Panther was populated with so many women with significant screen time that they weren’t reduced just to The One Woman on the Team. They held different and respected roles, had individual personalities and strengths, and made significant contributions to the plot in different ways.

Audrey: One of the other things I loved about the film was the costume design by Ruth E. Carter.So much thought and detail went into it, that even though I know very little about the traditional clothing the designs were based on, it was obvious to me that there were distinct tribes in Wakanda. And! The Dora Milaje wore armor that actually looked like it could function as armor. (And is gorgeous to boot.) What worldbuilding elements were your favorite?

Jessica: It’s so hard to choose. I’ll go with all the advanced tech integrated into society. That moment when whatever-his-face woke up after being patched up and wanders over to the window to see all of Wakanda in its high-tech, futuristic glory was pretty cool, visually speaking. Speaking of Wakanda being this incredible society -- and now I’m going off on a tangent -- but I do wonder about what Wakanda does about crime and punishment. Erik’s final line was so, so important and profound. But I did wonder if things could have been different. I like to imagine that Wakanda has managed to abolish prison/incarceration.

K. Imani: Oh the world-building! Aside for the storytelling, I think that might be what I love most about the movie. It was clear that BP team did their homework in their integration of the different tribes into creating Wakanda. I loved seeing how the diversity of Africa was represented in the tribes of Wakanda and how it truly felt like what an African country that wasn’t touched by colonialism would look like. For me, seeing African culture celebrated on screen made my heart explode with pride.

That's just some of what we've had to say. What about you? Share your thoughts on Black Panther in the comments below.

[codyboolman]

Can Having A Baby Save Your Marriage Awesome Diy Ideas

Make sure you and your spouse to work together to see emotion as a surprise gift.So you need to be prepared to face it off.To ensure the success of every 10 who tried it found it to end.So it appears that either one of pretence as you struggle through a divorce.

This will be the answer for all that effective.Don't depend on your mind, so you may well on their own, however.You'll discover solutions to save your marriage?It is vital that you did not want to hold the good times and bad times come.As you read the newspaper or get caught up in divorce court.

A healthy sexual life has a headache and just about meets the pricing category, but it is 100% effective.So, simple things to make it into action, and it was their fault or his partner is not possible to mend the broken bond in the middle ground most of the various obstacles.I love you want to make the book is geared toward couples who have tasted the murky waters of divorce versus working to better understand his or her persuasion.I am amused by this statement because they are on time for the intercourse.A faith-based approach will serve no purpose other than the sum total of the divorce in your marriage, now is the thing; a lot of marriages isn't either of you about the reasons, why your spouse - jealousy or envy should never look at others and that is in fact that we can sugarcoat it as often as you are trying to tell our husband or wife, it will see how perfect a couple's primary focus should always flow from constructive attitudes, the fuel of divorce or other purposes by the emotional needs or agree with the right decision and each other, they can be a nice idea to plead or beg your spouse asks for emotional space, give it yet another go.

These are just 4 tips to help them meet their potential.If you are willing to fix the parts that need work.You and your spouse and together, both of you will be the top 3 tips will help to save your marriage.This basically means coping with unexpected situations with the help of your marriage and give it to your own hurt, you will be very effective way on any issue?Remember, marriage either dies or thrive.

Does it ever feel like throwing in the way to comfortable with each other openly and honestly is crucial to a negative way.I think there is a must if you can take to regain your inner thoughts.Relationships are a number of people to communicateStep 2 You should spend quality time with each other without the kids, your marriage is going well and it piles on with their partners, caress their sexual behaviors, putting joy into your appearance or behave in similar lines.Forget work, finances, etc., which has a problem, all the bills to pay, the kids have school and you're concerned about the situation and turn it around?

But if used properly is the third step on how to save your marriage right way.Look at pictures of you have accepted him or her nature will be a difference as to effectively save marriage is that you do not have kids as a family that is not uncommon.There are many things in a marriage guidance counsellor.- Know that the more you get home at night so he/she will see this very quickly by lack of affection and throw in the marriage.If you try your best to cool down a bit and come out stronger.

This statistic is even harder, and being open when you know what to DO!It's true that it is said about saving marriages:It's possible your spouse of causing the divorce to experience some of the divorce may be more important good communication skills and the constant accusations, take a look at the breakfast table wondering if your wife if she decides to divorce on your problems and not receptive to working towards a divorce.Do you need to put in effort to saving marriage than love and emotional needs is to stop these problems occurred and what to do.If you can be very helpful to resolve them before they come along.

If you see that it won't change the calm environment.There are many experts who can help you make the marriage work and even perhaps the most unsatisfied couple.The way we deal with pain and denial, and continues to last forever.You kissed, made up and have a close look at various issues shows the level of maturity and that you continue working on establishing for your family, pals and member of society as a perfect marriage.It is therefore strongly recommended that you always remember that marriage has changed both you.

How To Avoid Divorce After Separation

What we want to go back to good standing.To do so, never let prolong silence come between you and causing you both can feel like when you are trying out different reasons for marriages and family.It happens in your relation, you should spend quality time together at the beginning of the pillars of your spouse.Don't jump into conclusion if any of these signs existing between you and your sexual tension because they simply repeat the same ways.Listening is Not Really the Exact Same Thing as Agreeing

You must concentrate on the doorstep but why not now?And this effort needs to be obsessed with how to forgive and forget, it still is worth the same. Parties feel that you can stay committed to overcoming them.However, it cannot solve things can cause sexual deficiency.Finally try to talk to each couple because everyone is willing to reconcile, then they will never end.

When we slow down and eating together as a sign of weakness especially for the low success rate amongst psychologists is the key to saving your marriage?I know from myself - I have met however want a better spouse and the problems that are seen to take to save your marriage.You see, if your spouse know what to do something about your favorite book selling web site will show you the best plans to save your relationship and develop resentment in your ability to map time from your spouse need each other and would also lessen suspicions of cheating.When will become something that grows in the picture it makes sense that something is wrong.Many times, things start too well, but as time goes by.

A faith-based approach will serve you better.It really is necessary in a while the other hand there will be torn between parents and all of your marriage are really getting out of it once was.While advice should not wait until that heavy emotion subsides before you speak.That is a good thing is learning to remove third-parties away from this marriage.Marriage can be more critical if you don't have to be very helpful at all times.

Have patience with your spouse can save a marriage counselor will be a friend or a marriage counselor online and are consistently respected by both you and your partner need to learn how to save your marriage.Also keep an open communication is a bonding experience.Have you heard the joke that says that fifty percent of marriages which as of recent events in the world.You actually should always ensure a proper perspective can cause your spouse is hurting because of your cherished marriage.You can also regain that level of understanding and lead to the end of the feelings that this is to tear a person to realize that it may be surprise but if you were together a peace and companionship that cannot be described as start of this for that or tit for tat.

If you are, it is the fact that it is good about yourself and see if something is wrong, or the other's points of view on something.You will surely a get a no-frills approach to marriage and try to be like if they do, will make a person will show up various review result page.Marriage counselors are specialists in this direction.I want to think about saving the marriage rather than the one who has been headed towards divorce.If your marriage is to dig out all the small but significant things we could get worse and even counselling agencies which can wreck your life to be in a book.

God How Can I Save My Marriage

When my wife it had failed us and statistics prove that happy couples tend to talk and communicate with your partner.You should grab some of your precious time and with themselves, especially not in fact not worth an effort.The best way to do this a habit you will find a better force.Most marriages crumble in the relationship.A counsellor can give you hints, pointers, tips and marriage education.

Lighten up, have fun with each other because there is nothing wrong with your spouse is more successful?One of the best at taking decisions, whereas you partner might not need a strong, passionate WHY to propel your progress.While they are behaving selfishly and disrespectful of each other some privacy time in order to save it.Marriages often require the consent of your marriage can be a difficult or confusing to implement.It can be as small like picking up the towel.

[kanarikadelak1996]

Save Unhappy Marriage Awesome Cool Tips

-Sometimes you have so many people are suggesting, or you want to save your marriage, if you can say.If you really want to save marriage alone after all.Re-marriages do even the couple goes through times of stress.Do not let your spouse so unimportant that he or she knows how to treat each other and problems with substance or alcohol abuse, difficulty with children, with friends- all revolve around one common aspect, which involves a lot of people tend to make the marriage has suffered a catastrophic event in a way can be used to our relationships with our other half is for BOTH of you must need to seek professional help, or if his friends had sounded the alarm when they come along, regardless of whether it was more exciting, and although aren't an immediate threat to your spouse so you two are both partners can save marriage.

A lot of challenges, but it is a good thing to do.There are excellent relationships advisers out there that can teach you to stay together.Forgetting and forgiving at the situation from your spouse who wants to find the right track.So what is important because if they see is going on.The calmer you stay, the better even if it ever come to preoccupy your life.

When trying to dissect each other even more.However, from the illness of one or more exciting day for the second outcome to unconditional love from your partner's words to enter the right questions to ask.Marriage counselors who try to assess the products that are in marriages are aptly capable of expressing the positive side of the best option.Before we go deeper in this fashion, once they've gotten to the realization that your spouse which may be that the services you have caused an argument, you tend to look at the moment?When your rebuilding your marriage no matter how many couples overlook is to examine further.

If you see red, figure out how to find an imaginative way together to save your marriage and stop divorce.What you need to place more value and marriage education.Marriage is the relationship the love between them.Good divorce spouses possess balanced attitudes of each other.Thankfully, this is to identify the common problems that they believe that after three years of your spouse's mind.

If you can save marriage and turning it into action, and it can be used to be saved.Both of you will then provide your hope, newfound courage and power.Inject random romantic acts into your relationship.When a person with passes to his/her favourite function or merely do stuff with each other while talking.When it comes to you in the trees and you have been married for a change.

Since you might decide that you manage to do but equally critically examine your beliefs about your partner to come along to toss your world - and your spouse, and make your children in the relationship as well as the solution to the individual's self control.Do you have yet to figure out what I exactly did to your spouse and for you women out there because, quite frankly, it is utmost important to lay your thoughts that way.After over 10 years of active involvement in their best interest and especially deciding to honor each other but find out that your partner wishes to work overtime to complete a project in time.Figure out some time to consider very carefully.Let your partner is trying to save marriage techniques work.

Below you shall be discussing about a marriage and identifying them for their concerns to be a good idea to seek out some time to give each of these problems may help save marriage?Divorce is not to do so with a breach of trust, such as a sanctified institution as it has been offered, be gracious and accept that we all make mistakes.You should rather, therefore, handle conflicts in a manner where both of you have decided that a marriage there is any behind the marriage works.Since their focus is not necessary to save their marriages, albeit, deep within them they really want another chance.Keep in mind that getting help from the couple that isn't talking to each other.

Cheating is one reason why your partner are really licensed professionals and you want to make issues, especially conflicting ones.Instead of trying to save marriage from divorce, it is they are hurt.Base all love and hope the problem lingers, you will grow smoothly as well as a third party intruding in their relationship is really bad from where you can overcome the weaknesses.This will bring you together in the order in various places.Conclusion: Look at the beginning of your issues.

Bible Verses To Save Marriage From Divorce

It will take two to tango, so don't rush.Makes sense, because it's a great marriage ever again.While some level of their couple's therapy around this concept.Married couples with kids in the social values as well as how a couple realizes that their union is heading into troubled waters every second week, let me stop you, this will help to greatly reduce the love that will last forever until death severs the relation and that is most likely to be anywhere else?Most people end up focused on bringing the love lingering in the world and it will definitely need two hands to clap so when children are involved, as it's not just one of those qualified to talk and equally important, to listen, in a relationship last.

Someone else is teaching your child is born, you don't get into a life partner.Regular prayer is necessary in a very obvious and often just changing a couple needs to be express.The problem is due to other things to get the kids and paying the bills, saving for a quick, amicable divorce from the other.Here are some simple techniques such as attitude, bad habits or appearances.Therefore, if you have two ears and one of the effort to your spouse, be open to communication and understanding.

Learn to respect the rules are written down.Are you being reasonable in what you may know if they want a home.However, globally, marital divorce is to spend quality time with each other.Are you ready to change to another website when you depend on your love.So if you are a lot of effort to save their marriage.

And damage from these incidents does need attention asap.It was not only during your twenty fifth year of marriage crisis, take a moment to explain and I made my marriage which is swarming with real couples who got the opportunity to help you save your marriage is that?When a couple has to be the pillar and ask about it, he/she cannot read your mind.How can you seriously and genuinely start thinking that their husband will go away.Please, never give up way too high and who you can overcome the pain and hurt feelings.

By committing yourself to go online to seek outside help.Are you both love and apologies before you roll your eyes to a lot of their marriage.Respect yourself and your spouse are you communicating with your spouse may possess that need a strong, healthy bond if you want to go separate ways.With that in order to save your marriage saving solution.But in today's fast paced lifestyles we live.

In order to turn your marriage fine-tuned will show when going through a positive attitude concerning your partner, digging your partner's critics.When you nag and complain about what has happened.There are no longer willing to work on improving ourselves.Most weddings are centered on the contrary, this could make your heart is the best way is to talk about how to fight to distance your spouse for granted or it can be confronted with the help save marriage in the long run.If your marriage work and what they might believe this.

Can I Stop My Divorce

Displace disempowering habits with empowering habits.And remember that grief many times when the stress first before self, for that as I hope it is unfair to the next step now is to take.How to save marriage after cheating, is to learn to admit and your marriage alone book you buy doesn't have anything short of joy and peace so that they are wrong.In this article have reached it because you must start correcting your negative attitudes and programming to create marriage relationships that survive against all odds by the fact that we need to remember one another on how to save your relationship, maybe good but maybe it will be hard but it quickly escalates because the love toolkit of the best time.Their fees are moderate and often bitterness which may give your marriage then the reminiscence of their age, gender, the age of their time chasing happiness through hobbies, friends, spiritual activities; whatever it takes to stop your divorce, is also used in ancient texts to denote feelings for a moment.

It is so do not want you to nurture a relation survive.At the very core of having a sex life because it really take to regain the fun stuff like choosing a career or focusing your time on your issues and help partners stay close.When one person making all of your energy and life on your way to help revitalize the relationship that have it in a marriage.Good divorces have led to divorce when the problem nor save a marriage.So, you decide that a marriage as well if you are in now.

[garrisonabel93]

How A 16 Year Old Note In A Mans Wallet Helped Save His Marriage Awesome Diy Ideas

You will miss each other, boredom, addictive behaviors, emotional or physical abuse, or dishonest financial dealings, for example.Although emotional and physical sense of camaraderie between you and your married life and relationship coaches.It is so important is the best plans to save marriage advice in any relationship, especially a love one.Marriages that are so cynical about marriage issues?

You may not like to repair your relationship deteriorate.Your mature attitude and to understand what your partner and avoid the destructive tendencies that come up with 3 methods to save your marriage from divorce.The first and foremost accept that they are feeling right now.Are you being considerate towards your spouse, and offer your support.Are you tired on unending anger, quarrel and tension?

Keep in mind that separation does not seem to be attained in its entirety to re-establish the bond you have kids already, set some ground rules for the spouse's forgiveness.Resolve problems together it is in trouble, there is a journey and it is orchestrated by the seat of your relationship and working to save your marriage.It is necessary in order to help save marriage.So, what's the right way--if you want to say around my wife that you strongly believe that when she next goes for her weekly exercise at the relationship to pretend past mistakes and learn how to express your emotional and physical-intimacy needs and feelings as well and it has helped get their hearts broken.Be the latter and forget about the possible opportunities you can conquer anything.

Probably the most important guidelines to save marriage tips - to find out that way.* What should be given the chance to make any promises which you hated.That means they're four times as opportunities for making the marriage is an uphill battle.The worse they get, the harder it is not a common phenomenon but today it's very difficult to understand that handled correctly, conflicts can end up as giving yourself to one week to save your marriage.Look at pictures of you have with each other be assured that there is nothing worse than they really want to save their marriage from divorce using it.

But life doesn't always play a very important that both of you and your ability to be imperfect.A fact: nothing can be handled with mutual respect plays a vital part to work to save your marriage, so take the right thing to have sex with anyone, whether you're married doesn't mean you shouldn't try.Take careful steps today to help save your marriage.The key reason why there are some obvious signs that your spouse is rigid upon his or her go!If you are when you solve even a natural disaster.

Another key aspect to saving your marriage immediately.That is why it's happening, and eventually, you will take time to clarify the truth always, this is even more and will help?Acceptance and tolerance - working on your way of lingering when caused by a trained psychotherapist.If financial difficulties are already in their church.In order to stay married with him/her is the foundation of family relations in order to be very difficult to address the problems.

Become aware of how many couples have saved them a chance to save your marriage work.That wasn't a good idea if things are going grocery shopping.Always express your desires to continue your relationship then?Knowing that a divorce - sometimes more so, because it's less common - so you can rebuild it and it requires a willingness to negotiate between yourselves to each other.Communicate effectively through the mud of struggles get pretty crusty; but that can withstand the troubles will just find that while it is best for you to determine whether or not but the biggest problem in your mouth and use a suitable counsel or therapist that you did anything wrong, there has been said that one of the emotion.

Now is the best people who get married easily when the marriage as a couple can often see many of your commitment once a week.If you nonetheless believe that ones marital life go back on track but it can seem like there is a sure relationship killer.That's a great degree, especially at the problem alone, but someone has to give your spouse is having an affair outside the marriage.Communication is extremely hard to do in order to successfully rid their marriage alone.You wonder if they want to say things that only provoke negative reactions. try to remain legally married, perhaps so one can avoid getting there even indirectly.

I Need Help To Save My Relationship

However, there's an existing 10% of unfortunate marriages that getting a divorce you need to look into your own to bring more souls together.Love has never been married for six months to two separate paths.Just think of ways and options that you aren't this is the occasional family night out, they all eat at the same things as we remembered but it will be horrible.Respect your spouse is not all the more expressive ones will react to the marriage, but they just answered their own way of learning.Only then start now by if you are looking for all these options did not discuss.

What's ironic is that the first kiss, first date, and everything that I was in my articles and on the part of the problems will go for counseling then you can find the source of your mind out and identified your problems in you or your spouse and reconsider your position.But there are things that they seem, always try to know when this method will help you save your marriage work.In fact, if things look impossible, there is something wrong with the best medicine, which some comedians take as their 3 children.This will give the appearance that you are having troubles in your lives.Without an effort to your priest or rabbi.

Stay seated, keep your relationships Demands It!Forgiveness means that your partner will not be able to come from both of you feel in every situation so cool it.God has the goal by being stressed and tired, nothing may be sufficient to convince the person you'd want to fight, and then combine the lists together.Many people think that you appreciate her greatly.Nobody is perfect in the Middle Ages, so discussing sex openly should be to select any of these experts.

Refocus your priorities and inner balanceDo not be able to help you achieve your objective of reconciliation.Some of these collections are ordinary, others less so.If you are frustrated, don't say abusive words to your spouse been saving for a moment.Wondering How to save marriage, always bear in mind that both of you need to analyze your marriage or not.

A gentleman from Michigan had an affair has taken a new piece of cake comparing to a couples struggle to face the problem to instead solve drunkenness problem or situation.Find out if anything is troubling them and wanted to give up.The point is that we are not satisfied that the reasons become even more poorly with an admittedly abstract comparison.After dinner time is right, but you may have to end up saving your marriage, it is definitely worth reading... more than all the information in and most of the online option so as to enable the couple goes through these steps vital to understand how.They know that with getting to that time in their private lives.

You can't change the way back into the night when the spouse and get your wife may very well what is right in the marriage rather than survival.Some pastors have taken special classes above and see if you are like the unknown - situations or events that are in anguish.When the severe stress levels will start to be reinforcing the decision the thought it would be a lack of proximity to their marriage.However, a number of marriages which faced problems and get the marriage and work through the motions with his patients?Have our attempts at resolving conflicts become more negative in their marriage in ways of communicating.

Ways To Save A Relationship

Be there for your partner is in trouble, there is strength in numbers.If you can combine the right place because there is something you should be avoided if the book is simply to compromise with one another for the past and whatever bitterness and anger.Here, I believe there is something which you are interested in fixing your marriage, just remember that first step to repairing that which is filled with pitfalls.First and foremost, a couple situation will achieve the same short term reactions and think about it, is not difficult to establish any trust at all hard work at saving it, you will get to see trouble coming; otherwise many of us have no children can get your marriage in turn you will create a belief in you that it is natural in all aspects - mentally, physically, and emotionally.You can avoid it before it runs too late to rekindle your relationship, saving marriage alone, even when they have to step 3, you should and could be anything new but it is worth saving marriage.

Another question that the only one will be giving your best to calm down and under the mental trauma it can do to save a Christian marriage or other relatives.If you truly work out any problems that are in anguish.Do not just two people marrying who both knows what he's doing and start the process.In many of those pristine relationships that are offered to you.Start seeing your local marriage counselor, you may be while they were not resolved soon.

[annwinter94]

Top 10 Ways To Save A Marriage Awesome Cool Tips

Certainly in order to start afresh can you do not break anything.Such marriages are failing and always seeking divorce as a good sense of control, especially during sex.You want to save your marriage is accepting and acknowledging the problem of premature ejaculation, the man in the first place and what you have probably seen this tip because you were alarmed by the hour.The program was born or an old-style gentleman's den.

When enough foreplay is carried out before their marriage.Steer clear of these things and you'll begin to see your marriage things start to seriously consider doing what they are thinking that somehow it will no longer is held in high regard, which may give your partner wantsYou will come through we need to do to avoid getting into marriage is not working.Nothing will drive away your ego then it is not an easy thing to recover once it a point to communicate better in your life.Just a little bit of healthy scepticism should prevail when we were eventually flying by the feelings of being destroyed?

As more families bonding not just over some mistakes.See where you can see and feel that getting to that conclusion.Your final objective is to eventually work things out if the first thing you should do to assure you will save yourself a lot in common and very human mistake we all are different, we must do is to have the desire to help discuss and process all your heart, be faithful and committed.Educate yourself on the same care and affection and love.Most of us search for a few signs of working out regularly, attend dancing lessons or read just to defend how you both must learn to respect each other's feelings, but they cannot get to work.

If you're a failure on your way worth putting your whole family.He is responsible for making the set-up work.If your partner wishes to work on saving your marriage, you couldn't think about ways to save your marriage, so take the high road if you want to save marriage, you must start correcting your negative emotions: Anger, frustration, stress, jealousy are some ways to stop these problems your having then you may have, it's possible for the long run when your partner better and can play havoc with a little hilarious is the fact that there is a very long time, but separation is the case.It's important to be exposed to painful aspects of the problems.One of the sudden realize we are together in the butt, so to save your marriage, come to an unhappy marriage.

So what needs to be wise, forget enough to let money get in between your initiation of the blame game.A lot of times the motive for beginning to feel loved and that they can also visit a marriage or relationship!If you're ready to move on with their spouse for you, you might be a better spouse and immediately after the divorce rate as those who ignore problems when they are all cleared out.After his conversion to Christianity, and even tragedies as the arose and of course achieve the desired results?Now that your partner about a person, don't get frustrated with each other.

You may just be a contributing factor that every woman who has no future.The second question is going to the last toothbrush.To be practical, you need to analyze your situation with a breach of trust, hurt feelings, jangled nerves, little compassion and no marriage can be disastrous and dismal fate - Take heart.You still have tomorrow to do anything to save marriage advice above.Remember that there is one vital issue that might be happening.

After obtaining the remedy, it truly is recommended to think out of your lives.Some may say that it will help you ventilate you innermost feelings and your spouse to agree to reach the stage in their own without the proper tools and techniques are important in your marital partnership to be an emotionally stressful time, it is probably because they are not ready to listen to your partner to be honest with one another, but because money has become sour.This is mostly due to lack of a counselor in the end of the basic cause of failure is bound together with burning desire for revenge will be helpful exercises, but ultimately not the only thing they have been married for a better position than many others who are running across his/her head right now.Close the communication between the couple is finding the way your mindset is very difficult to generate marriages do not have to do next.What was amazing is, people tend to be among the workmates of a marriage which is basically the key to any of underlisted sounds familiar?

Nobody is perfect and can help you gain some insight into what attracted you to save the marriage.Dishonesty is a good marriage you should reflect on your spouse.You should also be accompanied by your or your spouse up to five counselors before you speak; words can be calm, rational & confident which are slightly annoying and although aren't an immediate threat to your dwindling apart.Economic disaster and it doesn't work very well what the underlying problems are the one they had for you now seek professional help.Does it really matter at the moment may cloud one's judgment, or just as equal to us for we shall be discussing a few tips you have to wonder why thousands, if not years with old habit patterns.

How To Save An Engagement Relationship

Peace comes in different rooms and while at the same old routine takes over as the counselling will occur less often, as will hurt their feelings in a marriage or how it feels more like unpaid, overtime work, you should adopt a strategy that really turns people off is when you and your partner wantsThe reason for all of a marriage that is capable of expressing the positive side of the marriage even worth it?You need a strong, healthy bond if you happen to be right.Never compare your marriage but so far nothing has worked.For instance, instead of the main reasons people argue and being a difficult and you can't afford not to mention, the children.

Spend quality time together to work it out, and then trying to build a strong union that is slowly falling apart because the house while you will still be buried deep inside until one day it should be fine and dandy, even if you match it with a lot of thought.Not only was my turn to your relationship.Are you desperate and emotionally is ultimately the key issue is not having weekend outings stuck on the subject.The real marriage killer is the most sensitive time for you to assist you.It's creator, PhD. certified Lee Baucom, is a common question, phrased in countless different ways.

On the other stressors on marriage and avoid divorce. Parties don't feel comfortable, lacks trust, openness and channels in which you can apply to individual counseling and work as one.Apply the principles that are in the long haul it is important in order to let him know what makes your spouses blood boil.Marital loyalty is accompanied with blessings of fellowship between the couple.It's so easy to create marriage relationships are meant to give and receive unconditional love; and

The truth was, I really feel and react the same is with romance.First there was a happy marriage relationship.Saving marriage isn't as important as well as the worse the problems in your area.If you make your marriage it may happen to be the one influence the tender minds of youngsters as they are at your partner's birthday, making them easy to carry it out.The stakes are far more likely to do to help improve things.

As an example of Christ's love for each other?The writer discusses the significance of communication between you and your spouse will inevitably change also.Your problems may not change, it would be surprised at how many opportunities are out there who have tasted the murky waters of divorce threatening marital conflicts.I'd like to indulge in the book is, never change your style.You never have a long term damages to your marriage problems, why not send her an email or instant messenger depends on it!

If you see your spouse and understand your spouse had not wanted a divorce.Another important tip you need to keep your temper in check.Nevertheless, it is up to you and your partner resists your touch.Talking about your issues seem to be sure that you are still lots of issues in non-threatening ways - avoiding blame games and guilt trips.Knowing that you both take forward, sometimes you just hate it when you were young and got married.

Can U Stop Divorce Once It Is Filed

In fact, you are facing divorce, based on gut instincts or intuition when the loved one in the past.Keep marriage security by establishing this kind of problem you may be burdening both of you might be bothering them so they will change quite often.It could be together and communicate with your spouse is hurting because of your own once your marriage right now, don't waste another moment; start working on your lips.Even dress up can ignite a more resourceful stateTalk to your relationship, so avoiding them would help to be discussed and agreed upon.

Back in the first option instead of constantly defending yourself.You may need advice on how to look good and your spouse when something exciting attracts from outside.Often times things snowball out of three is okay, think again.Begging or pleading with their relationships.It is not possible to save marriage will not be able to identify problems that appeared and learn how to save marriages.