#072123

[deanwinchesterswitch]

Not Alone

Summary: Everything good slips through his fingers. 

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1,220

Warnings: Angst; Character death

Beta: @princessmisery666

Inspired by: Not Alone by Patty Griffin

Features shrouded in darkness, he leans back against the headboard, hand fisted in the cold sheets she left behind. The only illumination is the sliver of light that forces its way in through the barely open doorway and ends at the heel of his boot. He does nothing to staunch the endless flow of tears that drench his lashes and stain salty trails down his cheeks. 

Watching from the corner of the room as his shoulders slump and he draws in a deep, ragged breath, she whispers, “You’re not alone.”

“Aren’t I?” is his bitter response.

Slipping through the shadows, she sits on the edge of the bed. “You’ll get through this.”

“I can’t. I don’t-” Voice wavering, he slams a fist into the mattress. “It wasn’t supposed to end like this. “I should have-” 

Anguished eyes drift upward, and she meets them with a tender smile. “It’s not your fault.”

“Isn’t it?” he vehemently grinds out through clenched teeth.

“No. It’s not!”

Lips twisting, he sneers, “I should have kept you safe.”

“Dean-” Shaking her head, she sighs. It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. They had been caught in the crossfire of a robbery while in town. Rehashing the events of that day won’t change anything, and she doesn’t want to waste what little time she has with him. What matters is that he lets go and begins to heal. 

A guttural sob fills the room as he looks to the clear garment bag that still hangs from the hook on the wall and the lace-covered lavender dress pristinely preserved within, despite the rusty red drops indelibly dotting the bag’s bottom left corner seam. “You-” clearing his throat, fingers angrily drag over his cheeks to pinch the bridge of his nose as he sniffs, “you’d have been the hottest bride ever.”

Smiling, she teases, “It would have been a hell of a party.”

He forces a smirk despite the pain, but when his gaze drifts back to her, he chokes on a sharp inhale and quickly squeezes his eyes shut, no longer seeing the beauty of her smile or sparkling eyes. Instead, her shirt is stained crimson, her hair matted and sticky with the blood that flows from her neck where the bullet ripped through her jugular, eyes filled with fear as she stares up at him while he cradles her in his arms.

Pursing his lips, he concentrates on slowing his racing pulse by conjuring happier memories, desperately trying to deepen his shallow breathing.

He’d never felt more alive than when he was with her. She gave him hope beyond anything he’d ever dreamed of and loved him despite his flaws and the darkness that perpetually surrounded him. A brief sense of calmness settles in him, but then she lays a hand on his leg, and he’s reminded of the soul filled with goodness that brightened his shadowed edges undeservedly snuffed out simply by being near him. 

She was the light at the end of a very long tunnel he never thought he’d reach. When he did, he let himself believe he had finally earned his chance at a ‘normal’ life. He let his guard down, and the other shoe dropped, leaving him stranded in his loss …again. Tears press at the backs of his lids, and a low wail builds in his throat at the coldness of her touch through the denim covering his shin. 

“Dean,” her voice is sweet and soothing, unlike the garbled words that still echo in his mind, “see me the way you want to remember me.”

Warmth slowly seeps from beneath her palm, traveling up his body and filling the room. When he opens his eyes, she’s surrounded by a golden light that seemingly collapses into her, seeping into her pores until she appears to be radiating light from within. Flesh tinged with the dewy pink of a newborn baby.

“What the-” he rasps, shock etched into his features.

Holding her hands out in front of her, she flips them over and wiggles her fingers, her smile soft and full of wonder as she looks at him. “I’ve been practicing,” she whispers smugly, but her smile falters. “It’s only temporary.”

His features contort, hands fisting, eyes filled with fury and grief lift to glare at the ceiling. Quickly crawling up the bed, she cradles his face in her hands. “Hey, no. Look at me.” 

His upper lip twitches, and he tries to fight her hold, breaths heavy and quick, but her grip remains firm. “It should have been me.”

When his jaw muscles clench, she smoothes a thumb over his cheek, voice gently authoritative. “Dean. It was in my book. He won’t rewrite it.” 

Scrubbing a hand down his face, he shakes his head. He knows they don't have much time—knows what this is costing her. As always, she’s trying her hardest to take on the brunt of suffering to protect him, but he can feel it writhing beneath the gentleness of her touch, see it etched in the soft lines around her smile. He bites into his bottom lip and briefly closes his eyes, fighting to hold back the emotional turmoil rising inside him. She begins to hum their song, and the swell recedes.

His demeanor softens when he turns his attention back to her, but defiance still lingers in the gleaming, virescent depths. “That anger, that fire, raging inside you, let it go. You can find a purpose for it later.” Her thumb continues to stroke his cheek, and his breathing begins to even out. “Right now, just lie with me. Okay?”

Warm, supple lips press against his, and his chest heaves. Tears of misery and joy mingle in his eyes. Before he can compose himself and kiss her properly in return, she stretches out next to him, draping an arm over his waist. His body reacts before his brain catches up, arms encircling her and pulling her in tight.

Ear pressed over his heart, she wraps a leg over his and snuggles close, removing any space left between them. His skin dampens as her tears seep through the thin cotton of his shirt. “I want you to promise me that you’ll get on with things. You have a life to live.”

“How am I supposed to do that without you?”

“You make other plans and let time help you forgive.” When he remains silent, uncertainty seeping from every pore, arms flexing and squeezing around her, she urges, “Promise?”

“I can’t- ” Fingers dig into his bicep as she huffs. He swallows thickly around the emotions threatening to choke him. Burying his face in her hair, he mumbles, “Fine. I- I promise.”

“I’ll be watching,” she whispers, then softly giggles, “but not in a creepy way.” Tilting her head back, she kisses the tip of his chin, then nuzzles into his neck. 

Dean grunts, laughter a comfort he’s not ready to welcome yet. He loosens his grip on the lock of her hair tangled between his fingers—the one he’d clipped despite knowing the consequences—and places it on the nightstand. Pulling her on top of him, he cages her in his arms to keep their bodies flush. He knows that come morning, he will need to burn the last fragments of connection that keep her near, but tonight he’s not alone.

Love Me Some Pie tag list:

@123passwort // @akshi8278 // @asgoodasdancingqueen // @calaofnoldor // @compresshischest09 // @deaneverafter // @deans-baby-momma // @deans-spinster-witch // @deanwanddamons // @globetrotter28 // @iamsapphine // @idreamofplaid // @impala-dreamer // @iprobablyshipit91 // @irgendwas122 // @jerkbitchidjitassbutt // @justagirlinafandomworld // @justrealizedimmascifygurl // @ladysparkles78 // @lyarr24 // @mimaria420 // @mrswhozeewhatsis // @musicissmylife // @mvdeanw // @pallographsunspot // @princessmisery666 // @raisinggray // @shawnie74 // @thinkinghardhardlythinking // @thoughts-and-funnies // @waynes-multiverse // @wayward-and-worn // @waywardbaby // @weepingwillowphoenix // @yvonneeeee

[hash-tag-official]

s_miniyyy 😗😗

[bling-blings]

i_you_bin 촬영 장소 근처 우연히 알게 된 헤이리 마을 ..! 덕분에 매니저님이랑 행복한 시간을 보냈다 😆 #헤이리마을 #매니저님과 #퇴근후 #데이투💕

[alvvaysalvvaysss]

a tear fell from my right eye while watching oppenheimer 😢

NGC 6302, Butterfly

[talltalestogo]

Blooms

The cone flowers bloom. /

Beauty brief, yet eternal. /

The cone flowers die.

.

.

#flowers #beauty #brief #cone #eternal #photo #poem #poetry #haiku #oldnorthknoxville #davidebooker #bloom #july #friday #072123 #2023

[source-xooos]

xooos_ Black mini dress fit check🪄

[t-u-i-t-c]

Ikeda Masashi & Sakai Taisei | HugKum | 072123

[felixir]

Lollapalooza Paris Festival - Day One 072123

📸: Kristy Sparow

[pansamantalamo]

📌 Planetshakers Manila Concert 2023 | MOA Arena | 072123

Bucket list unlocked sakto bago mag 10years! yieeee.. Si Lord 1st muna bago umattend ng ibang concert. Akala namin di na kame makakapanood dahil grabe yung hoarding ng tickets nung nag sale. Buti nalang nag add ulit ng isa pang day yung concert at imbis Day 2 kame napunta kame ng Day 1. Naiyak iyak pa si Choy that time dahil ang tagal nya naka abang sa pag open ng ticket online.

Ang saya manood. Ang saya na maraming tao kaming kasama na nag prapraise kay Lord. Haaayss nextyear ulit sana meron ulit sila concert dito.

Pwede na kame manood ng ibang concert kase sabi namin sa isatisa na praise kay Lord concert muna panonoorin namin bago ibang mga bands. So eto na OPM bands here we come! Sheeesh!

[ayodaewon]

072123

072523

072823

[hash-tag-official]

hashtag_official_ 신곡 'DIAMOND' 퍼포먼스 뮤비 기대해 주세요~💖 #DIAMOND #해시태그 #HashTag #걸그룹해시태그 #KPOP #걸그룹 #뮤비

[oneeachday]

072123

[myionthewater]

race day; 114th cyc race to mackinac island, my 4th, and 4th w these awesome folks! making a plan after the skipper’s meeting, the trophy for the winner, driving up to belmont to provision the boat, and for the crew send off lunch; the costume tradition endures! thurston and his squirrels! a last look at land, before heading down to the start at monroe:); 072123…

[robhoullahan]

Kitchen weapons RR 072123 from Robert Houllahan on Vimeo.

[jonjmurakami]

#forcefriday 072123 • barista Darth Vader with a milk frother ^_^ Have a great weekend all!

#jonjmurakami #comic #cartoon #pun #starwars #darthvader #lukeskywalker #iamyourfatherluke #frother #milkfrother #coffee

[felixir]

Lollapalooza Paris Festival - Day One 072123

📸: Kristy Sparow