#04.10.2023

[liam-93-productions]

Liam at the HAUS Of Dreamers Paris event via galafr - 04.10

[atitudine]

mă faci să te vreau din ce în ce mai rău.

@angoasadescriitor

[bekindtoyou4007]

Some mild crampies tonight. Tens machine and pelvic stretching used to relieve. Now in bed. Work is going to be intense next few days so taken sleeping and anxiety aid and in bed earlier than usual so I can journal and decompress. I'm hoping to wake up and take an anxiety aid, stretch and have a herbal tea. Get presentation over and settle in for some paperwork with a tea/coffee. I'm a bit sore today from lifting yesterday so I had a protein coffee in the morning. I treated myself to double carbs today, and had Thai noodles delivered for dinner. I'm no longer enjoying my true crime fraudster podcast because it's moving into speculation in a way that feels gratuitous... I spent a lot of time today thinking about my parents, and the narrative of that early part of my life with them. The main highlights are grim, but later I have also been thinking there must have been nice and good memories. They just haven't lasted the same way. It's kind of incredible how doing something like being violent with your children will be just an upsetting memory that it overshadows smaller non intense memories like the fact that same parent sometimes sang us songs when we went to bed. I watched a sad TV show episode this evening where someone's parent dies and it made me wonder about my own parents deaths, again. I think about them dying maybe more than usual, my father having had two near misses this year and a DNR being signed. I did try to have a nice moment with my father the last time we spoke, because I was aware it might be the last time. Unfortunately he was so unpleasant during it and insulted me repeatedly. I was barely able to get through a goodbye and giving him my gift with a straight face, I was so distraught I wanted to just cry or shout or run out. I was looking this evening for notes my father wrote in the books he gave me as gifts, and was surprised how each of them seemed to be a reflection of him and his ego or how I served him rather than anything else. He wanted me to read a book he read, he thought he'd be a great writer himself, or he thinks my best quality is that I'm calm like his long suffering mother... like the documents I read for work, and analyse people via the documents, it felt like that was what jumped out at me the way other patterns would jump. I had so hoped for something else. Even the singing, a part of me fears he didn't sing us to sleep out of sheer desire to soothe us but rather as his own way of showing off that he could sing? I don't think that's right, I certainly don't want it to be right. I keep wanting my father to be a better man than he is, for him to say or do something that would suggest despite all his serious repeated mistakes, there was something good there within him I could be reassured by. It's hard to think someone you love, and I do still love him, would be so thoroughly irredeemable. It's awful in fact, to feel that sort of deep, long standing, biological imperative love for someone who might just completely suck with no silver linings. Because if there aren't redeeming qualities, logically I think the love then needs to be killed off, because it's a danger. Like purging myself of something poisoning me. And I don't want to have to kill off love like that, it would feel wrong. Maybe the love can be allowed to live, just restrained and quarantined safely so I don't let it make me do something stupid like confide in someone who once mocked my overdose when I was 17.

[mailsparaaminhairma]

Da Essência

Já não meço o tempo.Já não conto os dias,Nem as semanas,Nem os meses,Nem os anos…Já não conto as pessoas que passam,Nem peso as palavras nas frases.Já não me detenho pelo comum,Nem faço vénias à ignorância,Embora também já não a corrija…Já não quero tudo,Nem muito,Nem pouco.Quero só o que quero.Seleciono.Separo.Deixo passar, livres,Os rios de lama,E sorrioÀ sua desventura.Como cheguei aquiImporta…

[lavishly-languish]

Ugh, what a shitty week. I'm still 170 lmfao I hate myself. I was teetering along 169-168 but I ate so much fucking shit on Easter I literally ruined it. Fasting the entire day before doesnt erase me stuffing my face with everything I see. Fasting completely today and starting the new week fresh. Goal for Friday is to be 168. May try the Fix it Fast or 10 Day Lose a Stone, but idk which one yet. But both require you to fast on Monday, so I still have time to decide.

[notxjustxstories]

in honor of the new season of Quantum Leap, I got an oc idea

Samantha "Sam" Williams had to claw her way past her father to join the Quantum Leap project. He knew she was a prime candidate to leap and didn't want her to risk the fate of her predecessor, but after going to their congressional sponsor, she joined the team as... backup. If there was ever anything Addison didn't know and the rest of the team couldn't supply through Ziggy, she would be the best person to guide Addison through any disaster.

But for some reason, Ben leaped instead, and now it's Sam's mission to find him.

[poyopoyosim]

EYEBROWS N4-7

29 SWATCHES \ HQ COMPATIBLE \ ALL AGES AND GENDERS COMPATIBLE

Note: These eyebrows are available for all ages and genders; however, since this set was created using a female adult Sim model, they will look best on Sims of this type❤️

DOWNLOAD 💋

Early Access 🕓 till 04.10.2023

Thanks for your support ♥

[lottiestudying]

04.10.2023—trying to finish this literature review asap

[baosam1399]

〔Bài dịch số 1086〕 ngày 04.10.2023 :

高中时一个同学沉迷网络, 时常半夜翻墙出校上网。 一日他照例翻墙, 翻到一半就拔足狂奔而归, 面色古怪,问之不语. 从此认真读书,不再上网, 学校盛传他见鬼了。 后来他考上名校,后来我们问到这事,他沉默良久说, 那天父亲来送生活费, 舍不得住旅馆, 在墙下坐了一夜

Thời còn học cấp III tôi có một người bạn rất mê chơi game, cậu ta thường nửa đêm vượt tường ra ngoài. Một ngày nọ cậu ta cũng đang leo tường ra ngoài như bao ngày khác, mới leo được một nửa tường thì đột nhiên quay đầu trèo về, sắc mặt khó coi, không nói lời nào. Sau đó cậu ta đột nhiên trở nên nghiêm túc học hành, không còn mê game, trường học đồn ầm lên cậu ta có lẽ bị ma nhập. Sau này cậu ta thi đỗ vào trường chuyên, chúng tôi hỏi lại chuyện năm ấy, cậu ta trầm mặc rất lâu rồi đáp, hôm ấy bố cậu ấy qua trường đưa cậu ấy tiền đóng học nhưng lại không nỡ thuê nhà nghỉ, ông ngồi dưới bờ tường nghỉ cả một đêm.

📌 Trích từ phần bình luận trong bài hát 《父亲》 trên NetEase Music

- (Hoài Vũ Vũ/baosam1399 dịch)

[notesbyallie]

04.10.2023 // I have a full morning of lectures as part of my GP placement, then I'm planning to go to the gym (because I haven't been in a while) and meet a friend in the evening.

[nonnieapple]

⛈☂ Mall Emo, Mall Time, Mall Crime!☂⛈

 • (human!Marshall Lee x reader)  • r a t i n g: t e e n & u p • 2 1 0 3  w o r d s  • p o s t e d 04.10.2023     🌧 navigation  • s u m m a r y: what do you do when the cashier at a store is a dick? cheese it!

You couldn't wait to see Marshall again. Even though you had seen him a few days ago, you couldn't help but brim with happiness at the thought of seeing him again. You felt electrified, no matter how dumb that sounded, it was exactly how you felt. You smudged on dark eyeliner, pulled on your skinniest jeans, decked out your wrists with enough bracelets to cut off circulation, and wrapped one too many belts around your hips.

Two to be exact.

When you saw Marshall you practically strangled his waist with your grip. He sighed and hugged back.

"Are you trying to kill me or are you just happy to see me?" He said, strained. You pulled back enough to see his face. His beautiful, otherworldly face, his piercings, and his relaxed, dark eyes, which had a red undertone.

"I am never letting you go," You mumbled as you embraced him one more time before pulling away.

"Way to break a promise." He laughed, raising his brows and walking by your side to the entrance of the AAA Mall, one of the only malls around.

"I meant that in a more… metaphorical sense." You shrugged with a smile. Even the annoying mall, with all its lights and people and sounds, couldn't make you upset around Marshall. You were low-key obsessed with that man. In a mostly healthy way.

You walked through the mall, having been there quite a few times before. Why meet in a mall? There wasn't… a particular reason. It was one of the only notable places around. Sometimes you got food there that was edible. The vibes were okay, and Marshall liked staring at the Gridsound displays from time to time. Now that you thought of it, that was the biggest reason.

The AAA Mall wasn't crowded most days either, and you two, both unemployed artists, went there on the dead days- Monday through Friday. When the stores were a relative ghost town. That suited your sensory and human sensitivities. Nothing was worse than people staring at you. Besides the dry sound of dry skin on extremely dry paper, or nail filing. It felt like the sound itself filed down on your teeth. You never quite figured out why people stared. Was it your fashion? Were people that bored? Theorizing was useless. All it did was make you more anxious.

You looked up at Marshall. When you just started hanging out, he asked why you were looking at him like that, but eventually, he accepted that at times you stared like a cat at the nearest object. He was understanding, and whenever you needed some help, he was there. He was a good guy. A little bit of trouble, but you were too, and that was fun.

"It's cold in here. I can feel my blood turning into ice cubes…" You shivered, speeding up your pace as you looked around at blank mannequins and generic posters of conventional-looking white people. The embodiment of salt as seasoning.

"Hm?" Marshall blinked, glancing at you. "I think it's fine." He slipped his hand into yours, and you gasped.

"I'm convinced you're cold-blooded," You murmured, his hand cool and dry, his black nail polish chipped under your fingers.

"Would you still love me if I was a worm?" His calm voice was not suited for the absurdity of that phrase.

"Dude… why the hell would you ask me that?" He feigned immense devastation at your sound question.

"So, you wouldn't?" He stopped, giving you the saddest look.

"You should've been a darn actor…. of course I would. Now let's move, my something is about to fall off." You pulled him behind yourself gently. You passed by a breakfast diner called Kingdom. Not even. Their pancakes were super soggy.

Every store was a carbon copy of the next and the last, clothes so blank they were fit for a pharmaceutical ad. Warning- buying these clothes might be deadly. You'll die of boredom. Unless you only wear a shirt and nothing else. You know what they say, public indecency is a fashion statement! For the record nothing is wrong with being basic; it's fun to make fun of capitalistic copycats which probably don't even let their workers pee in a bottle, all for an off-white cardigan fit for a widow cosplay. You could even get a handkerchief in the pharmacy nearby.

Marshall slowed and you both marveled at the display- the store. Electric guitars with glossy, colorful, and rich exteriors, mics that cost as much as two pairs of eyeballs on the black market. The store was also filled with various tech. The interior was red and orange, covered with a checker pattern. No one was inside, only the cashier. They were taking a nap on the counter. Soft music played on the speakers. The sign above the entrance flickered. "Gridsound", lit up by a warm glow.

Around the corner was one of the most interesting shops in the AAA Mall, which said something. Flame Topic, a huge corporation trying to make money off people with an alternative style, essentially the same widow cosplay repackaged in a leathery, dark package.

You passed by it as you waved to one of the clerks, a person you knew, Flamber. A funky name for a funky person who was much better than that store but didn't wanna be another unemployed hoodlum.

The store right next to it was an exceptionally empty craft store, Raggedart. The cashier had resorted to doodling in a sketchbook, seated between the aisles. He wore a frumpy, muted in color, messily stitched-together sweater. You turned your head to the side.

Gum & Dia. The owner was Dia Gumm Baldwin, an older woman who had as much scandal surrounding her as she did money.

You hated that store and all of its tacky fast fashion, but the belts seemed okay. Just the belts. You wandered around it, pondering if you should get anything. Marshall was encouraging, at times to fault, so you stayed quiet as you pictured your life with a particular pair of socks. Riveting stuff.

There were a handful of people in the store, and its open nature made you worried, your shoulders tensing and nails digging into your palms. A clerk in all green and a green hoodie over their head with spikes atop it spoke to a couple of customers, gesturing to another section of the store.

You stood closer to Marshall.

"The cashier is looking at me funny… they can't handle the autistic swag," You whispered. He chuckled.

After a lot of meandering around the store, you settled on some belts. Marshall didn't seem interested in getting anything, instead inspecting the enticing crap around the checkout as you paid for your crap, setting the money on the register.

The cashier, a woman with brown hair and a crazy look to her glared at you. She looked so mad you'd think she was staring at an arch-enemy of hers.

"That's not enough."

You dug through your wallet, but no matter how many times you counted the money, you couldn't get the number right, or you didn't have enough money, hell knew, by that point your brain was shutting down.

Your mind blanked, your heart filled with panic and nonsense. You shook, feeling cold yet hot, everything in your eyes blurring and time stopping yet going too fast at the same time. It felt like a nightmare- a nightmare where a tsunami was about to wash over you, and you stood stupid, frozen by icelava. The scenario? Entirely different. The feeling? The utter dread? The same.

You didn't only stand stupid, you felt stupid. You wished you could control it. Control the anxiety.

Marshall found your hand. You didn't react, hand limp and cold. You tried to ground yourself. You were floating off into nowhere mentally as the judgement of the customers and cashier built.

"Ugh, what a weirdo, how can it take so long to pay?" Said a person behind you in line. The person next to them snickered.

"Can you please move it? What, are you scared or something?" The cashier had an air of suffocating smugness about her, glaring at you. You searched for a shred of understanding in her face. She flicked a crumpled-up check at you, and you could only stare in horror.

"Probably one of those people afraid of the world. One of those "mentally ill" ones, you know, the ones seeking attention," Whispered one of the people behind you as though you didn't hear. Not like they have a shit if you did.

Marshall strained to not strum the cashier a new one, also standing like a deer in headlights. An all too familiar reaction to conflict from him. He leaned down to you.

"I'm not saying we should take the stuff and run, but, if you want to, we totally could," He whispered, standing up straight right after as if he hadn't said a thing to you.

Your eyes darted to the register. Your mind went fast, thinking of the pros and cons. It all merged into a big lump of panic. You were filled with feverish worry.

You grabbed the things, gripping them for dear life, running toward the exit as fast as you could. Marshall was nearly perfectly in sync with you.

You ran out of the store and the belts beeped loudly, security chasing after you. Your mind and muscles screamed at you, but you yelled over them.

"You're way too supportive!" You addressed Marshall. You glanced back. The guards were hot on your trail of petty theft. They pulled out their walkie-talkies and gave you icy looks from under deeply furrowed brows. Their thick black and white uniforms, making them look like penguins, slowed them down significantly.

"Sorry for being nice and great and the best," Marshall murmured with utter seriousness as you breezed past the front entrance and past to the parking and beyond. You turned around and around until you were far enough to catch a breather.

You both panted. Your heart burned with cold fire and you buzzed and shook with excitement.

"I don't even want these…" You blinked slowly at the belts in your hands, the post-shoplifting clarity hitting you like a Mitsubishi 3000GT VR-4 Spyder. Your panic had begun to ebb and it felt awful. Also like getting hit by a Mitsubishi 3000GT VR-4 Spyder.

Marshall looked down at what he had grabbed with even more confusion than you. He had grabbed random crap. A pair of chains with crosses and a black face mask with a cat on it.

"Neither do I care about this chain. Do you want it?" He asked unsurely. Your eyes sparkled. Shinies.

"I'll have that." You grabbed them out of his hands, dropping them into your pockets.

"I care more about those assholes judging us," Marshall sighed, leaning against a wall. You hummed and frowned.

"I don't get it, is it so hard to stay outta our business? Do I have a sign on my back saying JUDGE ME?" You raised your arms to the heavens.

"I sure didn't put one there," He replied with a mischievous tone. You huffed, glancing at him up and down.

"You wouldn't do that."

You looked at your back.

"It's true, I care about you. It's my dirty secret." He turned away, covering his face dramatically.

"Awww! You're rotten!" You shoved him ever so softly. He looked to the side.

"In more ways than one." You fastened the belts around your hips, tags still on. Marshall raised a brow, silently questioning your sanity. He should've done that when he met you. Too late now.

"If anyone questions me I'll turn them into protein powder." You smoothed out your clothes, crossing your arms.

Marshall opened his mouth. He closed it, giving a thumbs up and a shaky grin.

"Let's go to the City Of Thieves bar and then home." You stretched, walking. He followed without question. He tended to do that, especially if you were in a new place, he was like a lost puppy.

"Home?"

"My apartment." You glanced at him.

"Sounds good." He smiled softly, reaching his long arm around your shoulders.

You waited at the bus stop. The bus rolled in, coming to a slow halt. You got on and made your way to the last seat which was almost always empty. The bus was pretty empty too.

"I am not paying for this bus," You whispered to Marshall as you stared outside at the sunset. His grip tightened around your shoulders comfortingly, pulling you into him.

You could hear his smirk.

"Me neither."

[forcebookcorner]

Force Jiratchapong and Book Kasidet in Kazz Talk (04.10.2023) [X]

[matisnotes]

★ 04.10.2023 ★

I stayed at this café for about only 20 minutes because I was waiting for my boyfriend to get his haircut done. I took the opportunity to study and listen to some music.

🎧 Daydream by Hoody

[bekindtoyou4007]

Coming to bed happy. Had a decent day at work, big news in that my presentation later this week looks to be a big one... no major nerves yet, I will have to deal with that as and when it happens. Came home to have Cod curry with 2 eggs and did some more paperwork. Did my weight lifting and made greek chicken for dinner which was a bit of a let down without the right cheese and sauce, but we move. Bath afterwards while H cleaned up the house, then laughing at TV until bed.

[lovemkx]

Miles Kane via ig stories - 04.10.2023