#.you know i do understand the appeal of them as a romantic ship like i get it.

[dreamerdrop]

it’s very sweet seeing the scene in Equilibirum where jadzia and julian are talking alone in the cramped ship quarters at night, and julian is just.

entirely and completely devoid of his old pushy behaviour even though it’s clear he still absolutely has feelings for her at the time. taking her feelings entirely seriously because she’s his dear friend and she’s scared and confused and he unfortunately knows far more of how she’s feeling that he can let on.

(and more than the writers were aware of at this point, which makes it all the more interesting how much it comes across in that scene tbh, and places his later comments that maybe she just has lots of trauma from the institute in a different light, since with hindsight it comes across less that he’s being dismissive and more that he’s fitting her reactions into a framework more familiar to him: that of nightmares resulting from trauma that hasn’t been processed fully.)

and it very much also emphasises jadzia’s affection for julian too, that she trusts him and is going to him to share her vulnerabilities and discuss her concerns because she knows julian will listen and show sympathy and will just. let her ruminate and wallow for a bit until she feels better.

really highlights the character development and shift in their relationship dynamic.

[afterglowsainz]

so it goes… | carlos sainz

summary: carlos has the biggest crush on the famous up and coming actress but she doesn’t know who he is

fc: anya taylor-joy

warnings: this is my first smau so plsss tell me what you think <3 i made it a bit long cause i’m use to write detailed stories but is worth it i swear!! also english is not my first language so there might be mistakes

liked by carlossainz55, bffusername and others

ynusername life lately 🧚🏼‍♀️

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user1 she’s so pretty ughhh

user2 y/n please give me just once chance i’m beggin

user3 simping respectfully

carlossainz55 que linda! (so pretty!)

user4 hello??

user5 ariana what are you doing here 😭

bffusername literally my wife 😮‍💨

ynusername me and you forever 🤭

user6 mother

liked by bffusername, charlesleclerc and others

carlossainz55 great weekend all in all 🏆 podium and good points for the team, ready for the next! 🔜

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user4 let’s gooo smooth operator‼️

user7 forza ferrari 🐎

charlesleclerc great job! double podium next race 👊🏼

user8 brilliant drive carlos!!

user9 VAMOOOOS (let’s go)

user5 okay we see y/n’s best friend in the likes 👀

user10 i think she’s a ferrari fan!

landonorris congrats on the podium or whatever 🙄

likes by carlossainz55, landonorris and others

ynusername emma is now on streaming platforms !!! go watch it 🫶🏽

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user1 and they call her the it girl !!!

user2 favorite movie of the year 💞

user3 y/n y/l/n future oscar winner‼️

bffusername GO WATCH MY WIFE’S MOVIE OR ELSE

ynusername you heard her!

carlossainz55 loved the movie!

user4 okay but are we believing he actually saw a romantic period piece or?? 🤨

user5 idk why i kinda believe it solely on the fact that he’s obsessed with y/n 😭

user6 i don’t see the appeal, she’s not all that :/

user4 now i know you did NOT just said that about THE Y/N Y/L/N

user7 y/n drop another movie i’ve already seen this one a thousand times :( (liked by carlossainz55)

likes by charlesleclerc, carlossainz55 and others

ynusername italian nights 🧿

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bffusername my girlfriend the prettiest of prettiest 🥰

user1 picture at a church and partying with måneskin? ohhh she’s cool cool

user2 carlos i understand you completely

carlossainz55 beautiful!

ynusername thank you! 💕

user3 omg did she actually??

user4 somebody make sure carlos is still alive and breathing pls

user5 finally! my boy has been in the trenches for monthsss

landonorris 👀

user6 now lando what do you know??

(ynusername has started following carlossainz55)

likes by ynusername, scuderiaferrari and others

carlossainz55 summer break 🏁

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user1 well hello there

user2 weird way to ask me to marry you but ofc🤭

user3 not carlos immediately posting a thirst trap after yn followed him 😭

user4 thirst trap seems a bit much…

user3 him just casually posting the most earth shattering hottest pictures out of nowhere??

user4 okay you may have a point

user5 post a warning or something next time jesus

user6 I AM ON MY KNEES PLEASE

user7 dinner would be served, house would be cleaned, kids on bed, anything he wants

ynusername 🥰 (liked by carlossainz55)

carlossainz55 🫶🏽

user8 girl me too

liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and others

yourusername beautiful beautiful madrid 🤍

view all comments

user1 omg you’re in my city!!!

user2 someone send this to carlos quick!

user3 you’re so beautiful 😻

user4 carlossainz55 my guy this is your chance

user5 you’re STUNNING 🤩

carlossainz55 i need to show you all the nice places🫶🏽 (liked by yourusername)

yourusername omg please!! i need a local tour guide

carlossainz55 😊

user6 omg is this the beginning of something???

user7 i’m shipping them already 🤭

user8 someone check on carlos please‼️

[alastors-antlers]

Being someone who sees a lot of talk about shipping Alastor (sexually, romantically) in fanworks, I just want to take some time to talk about both sides of the issue. It's long, I know - please, please bear with me until the end, and I hope you'll understand what I mean in a bit.

I hope this helps someone, but as an aroace person who understands the frustration and hurt, this is often how it feels to me:

Alastor, being one of the limited cases of aspec rep that I've seen and one of even fewer which I actually enjoyed, means a lot to me.

That being said, his canon rep establishes that he's aroace but not much about how this factors into his life or relationships at all -- and when there's a gap in canon, I turn to fanfiction, which tends to spotlight characters' queerness even when the source material doesn't or can't. Don't we all want to see ourselves in the media we engage with?

When I pull up AO3, there are already a good number of fics about him. Great! Some of them are definitely incredible; but as I read on, it starts to seem like a lot of fics I see acknowledge that he's asexual or aromantic in some way but don't really factor that into the story. It reads like you could have written the story without keeping his queer identity in mind, and it would've come out the same.

Even when representation that does resonate with me exists, it starts to be exhausting to pick through the slash tags to see which ones are written in an aspec-coded way, so I wonder if it would be easier to not read anything with slash at all. On the other hand, when you filter ships out completely, only a tiny fraction of the fanworks are left.

People often respond that aspec people can have relationships, and I think we tend to know that. They can have sex, some can experience sexual attraction in select situations, they can romance others beyond romantic attraction -- any combination of things. But some aroace people don't want either, and sometimes we're struggling to see ourselves in how Alastor is typically portrayed.

Out of all of the fics, sex-repulsed, totally aromantic Alastor isn't seen much. And when Alastor's limited canon seems to be pretty supportive of a reading where he is those things...

Sometimes, you start to feel lost. If fics were evenly distributed along the aroace spectrum of experiences, wouldn't you expect more fics of him being the "totally uninterested" brand of aroace? But there aren't. People seem to have a preference toward seeing him in relationships. Even if they mean well, it can make you think: what does that say about how we view asexuality/aromanticism as a whole?

Is there something less interesting about Alastor, when romance is taken out of the picture? Do others find him less appealing as a character if they can't see him dating, or in love, or having sex or wanting it? Why do we need romance, when romance is already everywhere else, when it doesn't even feel like he was originally really interested? It brings to mind a struggle to be societally accepted, even today.

Even when it's not technically wrong to write Alastor as you see him, being told that we should all be able to ship him however we want can feel like this:

It brings to mind people who try to swing in with misinformed good intentions, telling us "oh, you're aromantic? but you can still have romantic relationships, right? so you can still be normal." when all we want is to be okay outside of the normal.

Or trying to find a partner who can be with us, out of everyone who tells us "I know you don't enjoy sex, and that's okay, but I can't have a romantic relationship with you without it." and being so tired of hoping for someone who gets it.

Or talking with peers, and hearing them all commiserate and fawn over their experiences with love, then telling them about someone you like non-romantically and getting "aww, it sounds like somebody's got a crush!" but not being believed when you tell them it's not like that at all.

Alastor is not a big deal, not really, not in the grand scheme of things. But in an allonormative world, it can feel like a sudden splash of cold water when we were expecting a warm fire to sit around. Even within this ecosystem, we squint to see ourselves reflected.

Society isn't built for us. It can be exhausting to be reminded of that.

~~~

I hope to support people writing Alastor as any variation of aspec, or not even aspec at all. At the end of the day, I think that fanon is really whatever you want it to be, and everyone has their own reasons for writing what they find enjoyable. They should be allowed to do so, and I want to believe that people do what they do with good intentions.

They want to imagine scenarios with the templates of characters they love, and that's okay; even beyond sexuality/queer identities/etc., fan interpretations of characters can be incredibly, wildly different from who they really are in the story anyway, and that's what I try to remind myself. But still, I also can't help feeling disappointed about the aroace representation we could have seen.

(Is Alastor canonically sex-repulsed? Uhh, maybe. If I had to guess, that'd be my top guess, but this might be a hot take: I wouldn't really say there's enough to go off of considering that this view is supported by Angel propositioning him both times, and it's not like Alastor is a particularly big fan of Angel at those points anyway lol)

To my fellow aroaces struggling with Alastor's fandom rep: if you need a break from it all; if you need to block the tags that you hate; if you need to talk to someone about how you're feeling; that's okay. It makes sense that you'd want more representation in a way that helps you feel seen and validated and less alone. I can't speak for everyone, but I think I get it.

I don't have any solutions for how you're feeling, because sometimes I'm feeling the same way. I understand that you want others to get your position and you have the right to express your feelings, but even if you're correct, often being angry or frustrated won't help change others' minds, so let's try to save our energy and take care of ourselves.

Something that helps me to think about is that even now, asexuality is gaining more visibility. We're gaining support. Real change is happening in the world that's helping incredible amounts of aspec people feel freer to be themselves. And maybe one day, we won't be reaching to protect our scraps of representation.

Let's fight until that day together <3

[nekropsii]

Hello! First of all, love your work. Wonderful takes and analysis on the alpha trolls, and also i’m a big fan of sovstuck - both the text and the awesome cool art. I love that every character gets introduced with their own unique artstyle, each oozing with character :)

I wanted to ask, - and please believe that i’m asking in good faith, - about your proship dni. I’ve been seeing discourse about ‘pro/anti ship’ for ages now, but i cannot for the life of me understand what the hell either side stands for. First i hear it’s about abusive or problematic (pedo/incest) ships in general, then it’s about the difference of portrayal/endorsement of those things, then it’s something else entirely and i can never fucking understand what the hell the issue is and why it is so heated.

By no means i’m asking you to speak for the whole discourse or even for the entire ‘side’ of it - if there’s one thing i got, it’s that no one can agree on their definition of what ‘their side’ stands for. But i would like to know what meaning you put into the terms, and what kind of ‘proship’ you would like to not interact with you; i trust that you know what you believe in and are able to put it to words in a way that makes sense and doesn’t contradict itself or common sense, as i sometimes see :”)

I.. understand that since the topic is so divisive, you may get a ton of bullshit in your ask box and notes, should you choose to answer this, both from people who disagree and those who choose to misinterpret what you say. So feel free to ignore this ask if you don’t want to deal with that. Still, i do hope i can someday gain some clarity on this topic haha.

Best wishes!! thanks for what you do :)

Hello! Thank you so much, the compliments mean a lot! They really keep me going, lol!!

First of all, congratulations on formulating the most normal ask adjacent to this topic. Since it's so god damn touchy, people have a tendency to start throwing rocks no matter what "side" they're on, and no matter if they know what the hell they're talking about or not. Frankly, some of the ruckus surrounding this circus act is embarrassing. On both ends. Second of all, while this isn't something I'm an expert in, I do know more than I'd like, so I'd be happy to give my perspective, even if it's potentially a bit limited/flawed.

Thirdly, I'm putting this under a cut, for anyone who doesn't want to read all that.

Content Warning: Discussions of Shipping Discourse, Sexual Assault, Abuse, Grooming, Incest, and Pedophilia.

Let me start this by defining what the Relevant Terms mean:

Shipping: The act of pairing two or more Characters together. Though the term is derived from "Relationship", and therefore is at its core - technically, theoretically - a Neutral Term, it - conversationally, colloquially - carries extremely heavy Romantic Connotations, with a strong implication that said Romance is found to be appealing - typically in the sense of being either Cute, or Sexy. Defining this is not me trying to condescend you - One of the key questions in this discourse is what it means to "ship" something, and whether or not the term implies the shipper is condoning the material inherent to the ship.

ProShip: Essentially means "All For All Shipping". It's the personal, discourse-based identity label equivalent to the phrase "Ship And Let Ship". There's a common misconception floating around that the "Pro" in "ProShip" stands for "Problematic", rather than simply being the positive antonym to the prefix "Anti". While I find this to be a failure of basic deductive reasoning, I can also understand how the conclusion was reached - Proshippers are most commonly associated with "Problematic Content"/"Problematic Ships", and they do tend to take pride in being "Problematic" themselves. Either way, the word "Problematic" is highly associated with them and often reclaimed by them. They also call themselves "Anti-Antis" (horribly stupid label, by the way), and "ComShip(pers)", with the "Com" being short for "Complex". To my knowledge, ComShip is a sect specifically trying to get away from the baggage that the term "ProShip" holds, and away from the very real predator problem within the ProShip Community. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

AntiShip: Essentially means "Against Certain Forms of Shipping". It actually used to be a term for people who were against specific individual ships, rather than a blanket discourse label - for example, rather than someone identifying as just an "Antishipper", they would typically label themselves as "Anti-VrisMeen", or a "VrisMeen-Anti", or whatever their focus was. An important thing to note is that Antis trend Young, and they trend Traumatized. They are typically Teenagers, and their stances are largely informed by their discomfort watching Adults Sexualize Characters who share their age or younger, and discomfort watching people Sexualize some kind of Trauma they've been through - and considering their general ages, it's not unlikely that that Trauma is either Fresh or Ongoing. This is not always the case, but it's such a large amount of the AntiShip crowd, and it's acknowledged so little, that it's worth mentioning. It's a very important piece of context to me.

The general Belief Systems of both sides, as they currently stand, are as follows:

ProShip: ==> Never Harass Anyone Over Their Ships: This is the bones of their beliefs, and where everything started. Essentially, it's rude and unnecessary to send people Harassment over a Ship they enjoy, because not only could you be doing something better with your time, but also it can be pretty difficult to tell the "How/What/Why" of someone's interest in such material. ==> All Forms of Shipping Should Be Allowed, No Matter The Content: This is the meat of their beliefs, and also where the arguing starts. It's exactly what it says on the tin - Anything Goes, including Rape, Abuse, Incest, and Pedophilia. This is why the label is so touchy - many people are extremely uncomfortable with the idea of Fandom going back to its habit of uncritically normalizing + romanticizing Rape, Abuse, Incest, and Pedophilia. Part of this is due to the fact that this uncritical normalization has led to genuine, tangible harm on people in Fandom Spaces, particularly Minors. ==> Being Problematic Is Based: The skin of their beliefs. Many people wrap up Shipping Discourse in terms that make it sound like engaging in it is Political Praxis, somehow. While your stance on Shipping Discourse can certainly be telling of your Political Beliefs, in the way that your stance on literally anything can be telling of that, calling Shipping Discourse on its own some kind of Radical Political Stance is... Deeply silly, and also keeps leading to people saying "Being into Incest/Pedophilia is Queer Nature", like, unironically. I keep seeing this happen. This part of it tends to be very... Spite-driven. ==> Fiction Is Not Reality: Basically their catchphrase - nothing that happens in fiction is real, and therefore has no tangible effect on reality.

AntiShip: ==> Please Tag Your Content Appropriately And Keep It Out Of The Reach Of Minors: The bones of their beliefs. Self Explanatory, typically followed up with "and if you can't do that, don't post/make it at all". To further illustrate this, I'd like to spark any reader's memory of the times where you couldn't Google search "Fluttershy" without being lambasted with hardcore porn. No additions of "R34", or "NSFW", just "Fluttershy". There was no SFW Filters. You just had to fucking fight for your life. Being a child on the Internet is and was extremely rough. There wasn't any Official Tag Filtering on Tumblr until... I think 2017. It was dark. ==> Abuse/Rape/Incest/Pedophilia Should Not Be Considered "Shipping": The meat of their beliefs. Essentially, these are extremely heavy, delicate topics meant to be treated with respect and tact, or not handled at all. This is not possible in Shipping Content. At least, not as we currently understand it, and will likely remain understanding in that way for years to come. They argue that Fanfiction is not ever going to be on par with Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita. Which is true. They also argue that it's impossible for most Fanfictions to treat these sensitive subjects with any respect, which is... Dubious, but also fair, considering the Sturgeon's Law of it all. ==> Ewwwww...: The skin of their beliefs. Disgust. It's a whole lot of disgust. Again, worth reiterating that the bulk of AntiShippers are quite Young and/or Traumatized, and the content they are reacting to tends to be Extreme, so a gut response of disgust is... Honestly, healthy. No 15 Year Old should be stumbling upon art of a child getting frisky with their dad and going "hell yeah, brother!". Though I wish they'd handle their disgust with more tact, I find that it's just... A fair response, given their age, what their backstory tends to be, and what content they tend to be reacting to is. ==> Fiction Affects Reality: Not necessarily their catchphrase, but definitely their counterpoint to the catchphrase of ProShippers. They do not say Fiction is real, just that it does literally have a tangible effect on reality, and point to cases where this is observable. The impact Jaws had on real life sharks is a favorite, as is The Birth of a Nation, and The Turner Diaries. And, of course, the ways that the works put out by ProShippers has tangibly affected the lives of others, especially children.

It is worth noting, I am neither of these things. I do not identify as a ProShipper, nor do I identify as an AntiShipper. I identify as a Horror Writer. I have "DNI: ProShip" in my bio because their stances make me the most uncomfortable, and I have been victimized personally by members of their crowd and the result of their beliefs.

I was Groomed by an Adult ProShipper when I was 14 Years Old. She used her ideologies as a ProShipper to excuse herself and the (sexual) content she forced me to Roleplay with her, and used it to pressure me into writing more and more extreme content. I did not want to do it even at the time - it made me uncomfortable - but she made the idea of saying "No" to her... Quite scary, and like I was the one in the wrong for being uncomfortable with it. After all, Fiction Isn't Reality, right? I am not the only person I know with this experiences. I have met and spoken to countless - and I mean countless - individuals who have had similar experiences with that crowd. The sheer distrust kids and teens tend to have towards them is learned through that crowd's propensity towards grooming them. Because the celebration and normalization of that content breeds comfortability with "the real deal", and comfortability with harboring predators.

I'm sure some ProShippers have noble intentions, and don't realize what the controversy is about. I'm sure some of them are deeply out of the loop, and still think it only means "Being Anti-Harassment". But I do not care enough to give people the chance, just... For the sake of my own sanity. You understand, I'm sure. I do not think that this rift between worlds is ever going to get closed, or that these sides are going to experience amicability, because the question is nuanced and about morality itself, and one side is full of defensive, traumatized teenagers trying to keep themselves and their friends safe from what they are perceiving as legitimate threats to their safety, and the other side is full of people who just wanna jerk it to weird porn.

I'm not personally comfortable with, like, any self-identified ProShipper being near me, just due to my own experiences. Some might try to identify me as one against my will, due to the fact that I am Anti-Harassment and a Horror Writer unafraid to touch upon every single one of the aforementioned sensitive topics, but... I am simply not one, because I don't identify that way, I don't believe in their beliefs, and they creep me out, lol.

My beliefs are that people should be able to write about whatever they want, as long as they handle things with the appropriate amount of care, and as long as they keep things tagged appropriately. I think that harassing people for shipping Stridercest in fucking 2024 is lame because you could be doing literally anything else with your time, and I think shipping Stridercest in fucking 2024 is lame because you could be doing anything else with your time. Like, come on, man, it's not even interesting. They're not even doing anything interesting with it. Where are the themes? There are no themes. It's just brothers mackin' on each other whitely. Come on.

No topic should be off limits, but you should at least give it the care and respect it deserves, and you should make it interesting. Nothing is interesting on its own. Rape is not interesting on its own. Incest is not interesting on its own. Abuse is not interesting on its own. Pedophilia is not interesting on its own. Taboo subjects are not interesting on their own. They're mundane evils that happen literally every day to regular people. In writing, they need to be paired with themes, and, hopefully, with good writing. People who have been through these things deserve not only to have their trauma represented, but handled with care, and also for it to be interesting to read. They deserve to have options. They deserve to have good literature to chew on, to help them digest and cope with their own trauma. It's difficult to do that when you feel invisible to everything but the camera lens of a Fetish Pornographer, and I know many people who are suffering with the fact that their traumas seem to only ever be represented or referenced in shitty pornography.

Sure, some people cope with their own trauma by sexualizing it. I know that's the case for some ProShippers, and their reason for being within that group. But it's certainly not everyone's method of coping, and it shouldn't be the only option... Which is why I'm advocating for safe, non-fetishized exploration of extreme themes.

I think the reason why the discourse is so unclear is because "ProShip" and "AntiShip" aren't very tangible, definite belief systems, and also the talking points are evolving and maturing over time. A few years ago, the beliefs of "Antis" definitely broadly leaned more heavily towards total rejection of those themes being present in any fiction, but their arguments seem to have matured lately into "the problem is the nature of the depiction, not the presence of depiction itself".

That's all I can think of saying right now that wouldn't just be me walking in circles. And don't worry, I can definitely take the hit. I'm not sure what here could be very arguable other than semantics, or maybe a history lesson or two.

Thank you for the ask! Hope this helps!

[yeta-drewit]

I just KNOW the moment Wednesday season 2 is out, and they continue this gay vibes from the novelization of season 1, people are going to be screaming about how platonic relationships are dead in media.

I am surprised to learn that as of late people have been criticizing gay shipping for “erasing” platonic relationships, that by making every platonic relationship into a gay ship we are giving the idea that every interaction is inherently romantic and influencing the children into not understanding the difference between romantic and platonic relationships.

I want to start this by saying that I do believe that a lot of people don’t understand the difference between romantic and platonic relationships, but I don’t think it comes from gay shipping, I believe this development comes from many things. One example could be how society pressures people to find a relationship which leads to desperation and purposefully blurring the lines between romance and friendship because it’s better to have someone, even if you don’t really love them romantically and just enjoy their company, than to have no one. Another example could be how society used to have a heteronormative idea of relationships, if we all believed ourselves to be straight, than it was easy to just say “if I’m a woman all the women I get along with I only see as platonic, but if I get along with a man I must see it as romantic”, but now that we are expanding on the possibility that people of all genders can be both platonically or romantically involved with anyone of any gender, we are having to face the fact that romantic and platonic feelings are not solid concepts and we have to get philosophical with what is love and what constitutes love, and most people don’t like to think about that so they keep to their heteronormativity.

This are but only 2 reasons why I believe people don’t understand platonic and romantic relationships but I haven’t heard anyone say that because they be blaming gay shipping. I’m going to say that like with anything in life this has nuance and you can argue all you want but I’m going to say that I genuinely believe a good part of the people saying this argument are homophobes.

By stating gay shipping you are ultimately also adding gay relationships, gay shipping is just a step below from queer representation. So ultimately you are making the same homophobic argument that queer relationships shouldn’t be portrayed in media because it would confuse the masses and the children. We have fallen into the idea that complicated concepts as romantic and platonic relationships should be dumbify to appeal to a larger audience of straight people.

But I can hear someone argue “but shipping is a fandom thing not a show thing”. Well someone has been living under a rock because nowadays fandoms are an extension of the show, we are social media people, we thrive in social engagement in these online communities and fandom culture has been on the fucking rise. We can’t ignore that what happens within a fandom is how people ultimately portrayed the show, it’s the reason why a lot of people don’t watch things like mha because the fandom is weird and not because the show is bad. So by criticizing gay shipping within a fandom you are ultimately criticizing it as if it was part of the show.

Which leads me to Wenclair. I believed season 2 is truly going to be coming in a horrible time to be a minority, as people have been growing more homophobic and racist as time goes on. So people are going to extremely criticize the Wenclair ship, not because it’s a toxic or immorally wrong ship, but because it’s gay. People would criticize the show because they are going to go from friends to lovers. They would argue so much about the fact Wenclair is erasing a platonic relationship that they would forget that a foundation for many straight ships and real life relationships is friendship.

I don’t think friendship in media is dying. Within my example of Wenclair there are multiple moments of true friendships in the show. A big part of the Wednesday show was Wednesday learning to have allies and people she can trust to help her, but people would ignore does messages to jump about the fact the two main girls of the show are seen as more than platonic EVEN THOUGH BOTH OF THEM HAVE SOLID FRIENDSHIPS OUTSIDE OF THE SHIP. It’s almost like the only problem is that they are both girls, because let’s be honest NO ONE is saying the same thing about straight ships, they straight ships are always super romantic and completely fine, even though we could argue that does ships also can confused people as to what is romantic and what is platonic.

And before anyone comes for me arguing that I’m taking this too far and that I’m just a sad gay who doesn’t understand we NEED same gender platonic representation (like we haven’t had enough of that in hundreds of centuries of media 😀) and that I’m just mad people criticize my gay ship. I am going to hold your hand and say. I don’t care if you hate a ship. You can tell me all you want that Xavier or Tyler are better potential partners for Wednesday and I would let you because that’s your constitutional given right, BUT if you are criticizing the ship not by personal preference but from the eyes of homophobia I am going to be mad and I’m going to be annoyed by it, because queer representation has JUST been on the rise, you can’t already be mad at it WHEN IT JUST STARTED. WATCH ANY SHOW IN ANY GENRE AND YOU WOULD FIND SAME GENDER COMPLETELY PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS, SO WHY MUST YOU BE MAD AT THE SLIGHT POSSIBILITY OF A SHOW DOING ONE, ONE!, CONTRADICTION TO THE NORM.

Shipping and canon gay relationships are not going to take away friendship, they are just helping people understand that there is not one way of being in love or one way of being involved with someone of the opposite gender, we are not stopping friendships. I would make the argument we are increasing it by making people analyze their interactions with people of even the opposite gender through the eyes of it being platonically. Because now gender is not a factor in friendships, you can be friends with anyone of any gender. Shipping shouldn’t be confusing you about it, you should think critically and analyze what you consider love.

[tubbytarchia]

Just a bunch of Doc and Jimmy thoughts as to why I find them so appealing and endearing. I wanna draw them more but regardless I have too many thoughts on them to ever visualize them all. It's a lot and very self-indulgent. This is your warning

TLDR Jimmy in a father/son type of dynamic (as opposed to a romantic relationship) would do him good and Doc would be very perceptive and gentle and awesome about it

These are pretty much all reliant on a hypothetical scenario in which Jimmy is on Hermitcraft (after Secret Life?), temporarily or permanently or accidentally etc. I'm also gonna refer to Jimmy's relationships with Tango, Scott etc as romantic just for clarity

- Firstly I don't mind them as a ship, its all cool with me (cause I know at least a few of you ship them haha), but to me their absolute main appeal is the fatherly aspect. It being a father/son dynamic eliminates so many of Jimmy's struggles off the bat - ones that are prevalent in his romantic connections, mainly the inherent anxiety and inability to open up to his partners as a result (at least fully)

- Because of said anxiety, none of Jimmy's partners up to this hypothetical unexplained point of time would fully "get" him. Even if Jimmy trusts them, he's been conditioned to see himself as the faulty link by default and the people around him, however good they are and however much they COULD help, aren't the type to pick up on or be able to understand exactly what he needs (Tango's rather oblivious, Martyn's hot-headed etc), and Jimmy isn't exactly going to tell them in the headspace that he's in, he doesn't know how to. Yet Doc has had one, ONE notable interaction with him, and in that one interaction, even as Jimmy's just jokingly calling for Etho, Doc immediately and immaculately picks up on what Jimmy needs: "I want to take you into my hands and take you to a safe place"

- There's a quote(?) exchange that goes "You're free, (referring to a bird whose gate has just been opened), why don't you fly away?" followed by the bird "the cage is all I know". Sorry to use some "I'm 14 and this is deep" quote but that's just Jimmy. He needs time and gentleness, and a safe place that'd allow for that. A safe place to heal until he's ready to step out into the world of his own accord. He's helped out of the cage with patience and understanding, not by pushing him. Where Doc understands to be patient, some of Jimmy's partners post-3L would push - of course just trying to help but failing to grasp Jimmy's needs fully - or fail to realize there's (still) a cage there at all. Sorry what are we talking about again

- Add-on to the above points: Doc being able to pick up on Jimmy's wants and needs without verbalization. He'd be able to offer Jimmy desired comfort, and, comparing to Tango for example, without their time necessarily being cut short and without the failure to recognise that it's something Jimmy continues to need. (I've said it before but Tango's oblivious, and that's partially why he and Jimmy work well together, but it also means that he doesn't pick up on everything, especially when not near and soulbound to Jimmy, and by virtue of being a romantic partner, Jimmy's too anxious to ask for help too, because of previous relationship experiences). Doc would pick up on it all though, eliminating Jimmy's need to explicitly ask for help, because that's the one thing he's not able to communicate however desperately he's needed to to kickstart any kind of healing

- We all know how Doc gets when he's being a dad so. This father/son dynamic only means more softness and gentleness from Doc you know... Again, something Jimmy is in desperate need for!! And what he's gotten from people like Tango as well, but once again, this isn't a romantic relationship so Jimmy's feelings about physical affection are a bit different. Doc would have the utmost mindfulness of approaching Jimmy in any physical touch scenario though and never push or pressure. He always watches out for signs of discomfort, and will hardly touch him if he thinks that there's a chance it could upset Jimmy further. He understands that Jimmy needs time and patience and he doesn't want for him to draw more into himself, thus reversing any progress they might've made, especially if in Jimmy's current mindset, an even remotely unwanted approach could make him feel unsafe. If there are defenses that he's learned to and needs to keep up, then Doc won't take that away from him and give him space as needed

- When Doc IS to offer physical touch and such, he'd still have the utmost gentleness and pay attention to where he's situated near Jimmy just so he can ensure that he's using his organic arm to pat him or to have the organic half of his face towards him, not only to minimize intimidation but to also put them on more equal footing - If Doc can just look over and read Jimmy's eyes at any moment, he wants Jimmy to be able to see his too to help him feel more comfortable (and thus encourage opening up)

- Back to the "safe place" thing specifically, Doc would totally take Jimmy under his wing and thus also into his base - his huge and scary full-of-machines barely-resembling-a-house-to-any-degree base. Jimmy would be naturally intimidated by Doc and his base in kind, but just as he grows more used to big scary goat man, he grows more used to big scary goat man base. He'd be intimidated but not past the point of intrigue, and combined with his need to prove himself, Jimmy would very much try to study Doc's machines and learn the layout of his base etc. I'm tickled by the idea of no one understanding Doc's base as per usual, except this one lost guy he took under his wing

If Jimmy were to mess anything up (he inevitably would I'm sure) Doc would be all grumbly about it in the moment but never hold a grudge towards him. And Jimmy would either flee but quickly return and/or be very insistent on making it up to Doc, which Doc would refuse because there's no need

- Again, with Jimmy's need to prove himself but also out of genuine interest, Jimmy would very much try redstone whilst at Doc's. He'd ask Doc to be honest and not to praise his work just to be polite, but Doc would believe in him and find his efforts genuinely endearing and worthy of praise for the work that he'd have put into it. Not once would he have complimented Jimmy's work without meaning it. I don't think he'd be able to live with himself if he stooped to disingenuousness like that (though Jimmy wouldn't know that)

- Doc would be protective and rightfully so. If he were to see Jimmy bullying becoming too prevalent, he'd very much step in to say that that's enough of that. He might tease Jimmy a little himself, very lightheartedly, but otherwise not find much comedy in it. And we all know how he holds grudges if he's to single anyone out for going over the line... Jimmy would be opposed to Doc calling anyone out or anything of the like and Doc very much wants to respect Jimmy's wishes but... There's no way he isn't going to speak his mind at least out of Jimmy's earshot

- Doc has always understood that Jimmy's in need of help, but of course he can only entail so much without hearing it from the man himself. And when Jimmy does inevitably open up, Doc would be totally taken aback by the amount of things weighing on Jimmy's heart, and just out of disbelief he'd go "and you haven't told anyone??", which may make Jimmy curl in on himself a bit, but Doc would be quick to reassure that he's not questioning Jimmy's actions nor blaming him for bottling his feelings up, merely expressing sadness that Jimmy hasn't felt like he could tell anyone up until now. Doc would remember everything he's told with precision and keep it all in mind constantly. Very self indulgent but for example, Jimmy having felt the need to dress up as a maid as payback just to stay on SOS would make Doc pay even more attention to any potential signs of discomfort in Jimmy presenting himself to others or feeling pressured to do something etc

- Before reaching the point of being able to open up, Jimmy would inevitably tear up at some point when he gets stuck thinking about just how kindly he's being treated for whatever reason that remains a mystery to him. Even if he tried to hide it, Doc would immediately notice the unusual body language, or something like his headwing moving to cover his face. And he would become very panicked lol, quickly reassuring Jimmy about whatever he thinks caused the reaction, like his redstone attempts for example, only for Jimmy to be unable to express why he's really crying, but at the very least Doc would understand that there's more to it and will just do his best to comfort him regardless

- Jimmy has and will absolutely call people his dad as a joke, but when he inevitably refers to Doc as such by accident, he'd become embarrassed about it. It'd be awesome and cute I think

- Ok so Hermitcraft, of course Tango's there!! And with no death game looming over his or Jimmy's heads. Still, that doesn't erase Jimmy's anxiety even when he opens up to Doc about it. Doc would offer suggestions for how Jimmy could approach Tango (And maybe Pearl too), but if Jimmy expresses his inability to do so because of anxiety and such, then Doc will let it go and just comfort or reassure him for the time being instead. He'd ask if he should talk to Tango all menacing and Jimmy would be vehemently opposed to the idea lol. Doc would probably still take it up with Tango at some point and Jimmy wouldn't find out until much later into him and Tango talking again, at which point he'd become embarrassed that Tango had to deal with that (but of course there would have never been any malice involved and Tango can easily laugh about it). Added drama if we go with the idea that Jimmy's time on HC is limited which would only stress him out more about talking to Tango

- Doc would pay so much attention to Jimmy's wings' welfare. He'd ask Grian and do all kinds of research on his own too to make sure they're properly cared for whilst fully understanding their personal importance and potential intimacy that caring for them entails, giving Jimmy whatever space he needs whilst still keeping an eye on his wings. In a different hypothetical scenario where Doc is in the Life series and not much else is changed, he'd take note of Jimmy's wings being clipped (3L, LL), then growing (DL, LimL), and then becoming ragged (SL, with Jimmy's increasing hostility, restlessness etc)

- You are insane for reading till this point. Take my hand, we can be insane together

[goomyloid]

PLEASE explain your thoughts on kriselle in full detail

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 100% UNPROMPTED ASK! I SHALL EXPLAIN

i hate toby fox. why did he do this to us. he really put it better than anyone else. not really romantic not really platonic but…. something else… some secret more sinister more heartfelt more absurd third thing

i wonder at what point should i clarify that i dont even really seek out kriselle in a romantic context… DONT GET ME WRONG i have zero issues with the ship whatsoever and all of the krisellers out there are living their best (most painful) lives and i SEE THE APPEAL. BUT when i rotate them in my brain i dont need them to kiss or anything like that i just need them to sit down and sadly hold hands and stay like that forever and ever. in case you couldnt gauge that from my art so far

tldr i dont think i ship them in the traditional sense at least …. the things that i usually fixate on for any romantic ship are not there with these two. there are no romantic feelings there In my mind. and all at the same time i start screaming and throwing up and killing myself (all positive) whenever i see them even in the same image together. hngh

ive tried explaining this to people before and they usually suggest something along the lines of a QPR and even that doesnt feel right to me. truly the best way i can put it is… that red string of fate man… which i almost hesitate on saying too because i dont actually know if noelle is Quite an important enough character to the story to warrant a connection like that. WHICH IS A CRAZY THING TO SAY. I KNOW. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING ME WRONG i think dess and her connections to gaster and her usage as a stepping stone into the weird route are all VERY important… but in my brain its just not kris/knight/asriel/every other mysterious main focus of the story Important. i didnt mean to get into deltarune theorizing here i hope nobody’s blood is boiling rn

so yeah in the end. toby fox once again put it best. they are friends, but they are also something else.

back to the actual pairing though… sometimes i think im going overboard and overestimating how close kris and noelle were as children because noelle will go and say things like “i wonder if we were ever really friends at all.” which is kind of a fair statement considering the circumstances. sure they played together and all and tagged along with their siblings to do stuff together but when dess went missing… it all kind of stopped. kris is just a kid, they dont know what to do or even how to process it, much like noelle. asriel is probably dealing with his own feelings, he just lost his friend and likely old enough to understand the weight of what happened. while noelle and kris cant say much to each other at all.

im always back and forth on speaking headcanons for kris but the one that i always seem to come back to is selective mutism… to me kris had a lot of trouble communicating well as a child and could only grow comfortable around certain people, asriel and noelle being clear examples because they’re both so patient with them. maybe because of this noelle felt like they could understand each other without really needing words, and just physical interaction was enough to achieve some form of closeness… or maybe that was all just on her end, she thinks when kris goes to play the piano. but if that’s the case, why does it feel like a concert just for her…?

jesus dont even get me start on them as teenagers either. noelle has lost her sister, and now kris has lost their brother… but not in the same way. they look at each other and wonder if they’re the same now. or, maybe thats too cruel. maybe its not the same thing at all. asriel’s coming back soon, after all. it will all be over soon, kris won’t have to feel this way for much longer, right? so then, why does kris look so miserable, sitting in the corner over there? all noelle feels like she can do is sit next to them quietly. to be there, and to somehow, vaguely, messily help each other. the misfit kids that dont really know how to talk to each other and yet understand each other regardless

thats why the dark world feels like such a dream to her. these crazy city lights, fantastical creatures, susie’s there, and she actually might have the means to defend herself and stand her ground, whether it be verbally or… otherwise

and most of all, much like with kris offering an adventurous haven to susie in ch1, the same is extended to noelle. by kris’s side, no less. it feels like theyre doing things together again, and its fun, and nostalgic… she wants to bring dess. and i think its okay to assume kris wants to bring asriel, too. recreating the make-believe world they lost so long ago… is it really possible?

no… how can it really be possible, when this isnt kris? something is wrong. its almost perfect, except kris… it’s them, but it’s not. she sees their face, their expressions, their laughs, their worries. and yet the voice that comes from them… isnt them. and it scares her! even if nothing particularly bad happened as a result. and if something bad DID happen, well…

she just wants what they had before back. is it really so impossible? can they reconcile after all these years? does kris want to? is kris capable of doing so? maybe they just need to hug again. will it feel like a real hug? the person she thought she understood is acting in ways she doesnt understand. they’re telling her to do weird things. they cycle through actions as if they just want to know what happens. and they cant even play piano anymore.

[takaraphoenix]

Four months into my Teen Wolf renaissance and I am kind of fascinated by the way my interaction with it changed and shaped with this current rewatch of the show, the shift in priorities.

I used to monoship in this fandom. There was Sterek and nothing else.

Now I'm juggling multiple ships and my first ever poly-ships for this fandom. Which is a delight, because I'm a polyamorous person first and a writer second so to actually have poly-ships in this fandom sparks a whole lot of joy for me. So does generally having multiple ships, because I've always been a multishipper.

It's interesting though, that with these multiple ships, it has become very clear to me what's my actual most important dynamic for this fandom. Because it doesn't matter what the Stiles ship is, it doesn't even matter who the pack Alpha is and what pack we're talking about, I need Boyd and Erica to be alive and to be in Stiles' pack. These three mean the fucking world to me, they're the core. The pack around them may change, the romantic ship for Stiles may change, but those two are alive and together and beautiful and Stiles' pack.

Other things, I am much more flexible on. There are characters I don't particularly care whether they're portrayed as good friends or bad friends, but if a fic goes outta their way to keep Boyd and Erica alive just to have them be bad to Stiles, I am out of that story faster than you can look.

Jackson is slightly more negotiable. He's still very important to me and I prefer him to be in the pack, but there is also something appealing to him being in London and him and Stiles building a long-distance friendship after the Nogitsune, that phone calls and texts might make it easier for Stiles to talk about what happened, that the Nogitsune trauma and the kanima trauma bonds them. I prefer them to be pack, but they don't have to be, as long as they are still friends. If I have to see Jackson post season 2 sticking around and being pack, just to then be a bully to Stiles, I am also out.

Like. I do fully understand that all three have, you know, more or less antagonistic pasts toward Stiles. I also understand fics that just turn everyone aside from [romantic partner] against Stiles for max angst. It's just that these three? These three hurt me to read as bad friends.

The more I write and read for the fandom, the more important does Alpha Peter become to me too. Even outside of romantic Steter, it just... feels wrong to me when he's a beta even more wrong when he's Scott's beta ngl. There is so much healing, redemption and hope in the idea of Peter as an Alpha who gets to rebuild the Hale Pack and keep his family's legacy alive.

Used to be Derek for me, but the more I think about it, the... unhappier he seems as an Alpha in canon and the fonder I grow of the idea of him getting to be a Right Hand. Of him getting a second chance with a Hale Pack but without the burden of having to try and be the Alpha. (I do still love writing and reading Alpha Derek though, especially when it's Sterek. But if I had to pick a favorite Hale Pack dynamic, it'd have to be Alpha Peter and Right Hand Derek.)

Now, out of this list, Peter was the only real surprise. Even back in 2014, when I first got into this fandom, I preferred my Berica alive and as friends with Stiles and I liked my Stackson brOTP.

But genuinely the biggest surprise to me is how much I latched onto Spark Stiles, because this was something I used to actively avoid. I used to think of that as nonsense. I mean, come on, that was one episode and canon moved on from that, how did you grow that attached to it.

Somehow, this rewatch, I just feel very indignant about the fact that they really gave Stiles magic for one episode and then did jackshit with it. What the hell. After ten years, I finally understand why the fandom couldn't let go of that.

Comfortingly enough did my favorite thing not change in the past ten years though. Give me Pack Mom Stiles or give me death. That's still the best damn thing this fandom ever did, in my opinion, and whatever the ship or the pack or who the Alpha is, Stiles is Pack Mom.

But it is interesting to see how my own interaction with the story and the characters has changed over the past decade and on this third to fifth watch (depending on what season we're talking about. I've seen the first two seasons more often than the rest).

[adamnablelittledevil]

I'm excited for Devil's Minion but I hope the Lesmand aspect isn't undermined in its favor. That ship may not be endgame but it's so important to both Lestat and Armand.

I only know Devil's Minion content from what I've seen on the tag, but I share the same feeling! I also enjoy Armand and Daniel's dynamic on the show. I can't wait to see more if it (and any possible duo, romantic/endgame or not, because they're all so appealing) and I hope they did have something in the past as well (and I think it's highly possible), because both Eric and Luke are great. And, well, this chemistry is too extraordinary to ignore.

Sure, this scene wasn't a positive one, but tell me they don't have potential to deliver the romantic content?

So, about the books, I'm still on chapter 5 of The Vampire Lestat (I'm leaving IWTV for last), but so far I don't see how they could reduce lesmand. I guess you could say there is some romantic aspect to them, but there's so much more than that too. Now, I might be interpreting this wrong or things will naturally change over the course of the books, but I believe they have this soul ties/mirrors/foils/two sides of the same coin aspect. It's only been a little over one chapter since Armand was firstly introduced, but their dynamic already feels so important. They're so similar and yet so different, they're fascinated by each other, they see parts of themselves that they don't like on one another, they see things they can't understand but want to, there's empathy, there's protectiveness, they're attracted to one another and not even just in a physical/romantic sense, but there's some genuine curiosity, admiration and magnetism there, but they're still afraid of each other, they still despise one another, they hurt each other, they know it's better to stay way, but don't really want to so it challenges them to the point they also HATE each other... I even feel like it's more frustration and projection than actual hate, but still... They're very INTENSE, in every sense of the word. And it keeps fleeting all the time, sometimes it's warmer, sometimes it's more explosive, sometimes they have similar reactions to one another and sometimes they don't... Which leads to different types of tension that is entertaining to play with. Plus, they have the best conversations and arguments for me. They touch on some really relevant topics about each other's existence, their collective existence as a species and as individuals (which is part of their conflict). Basically, we can call them whatever we want, but they're never boring.

So I can't see them being able to change that even if they want to? Also, because Armand is the first vampire Lestat meets after his maker and fledgling. Magnus kills himself shortly after turning Lestat, Gabrielle and Lestat are almost on the same level when it comes to powers and knowledge about vampirism. Armand exists out of their sphere, has been a vampire for a while, has more abilities/knowledge than them... I feel like you need that in order to 'shake' things up on the flashbacks instead of just being in the bubble of Lestat and his fledglings or using Armand as a small character.

And Assad is one of the main actors, he's paid for main actor screen time, so it would be a waste not to use him as such? And, like you said, it's so important for both Armand's and Lestat's arcs, and this is a main character + main character dynamic, it's not like a side plot with a guest star. It would be killing multiple birds with one stone, because you'd find a way to use two fundamental characters, tell the story in a proper and also engaging way. Not to mention they would be insanely stupid to waste this.

Yeah, I know this is different on the book, but my point is that the enigmatic chemistry they're supposed to have is there and Rolin should make the most of it. Like, I'm still a bit frustrated they didn't play a little more with Jacob and Assad's chemistry too.

So let's not do it again? I mean, this is the first show I watch where everyone has amazing chemistry and good reasons to have lots of scenes together because they live forever and need to have more than just one company, lol. I say let's explore all of it, whether something is romantic/endgame or not.

Anyway, I believe we'll see a lot of Armand in the 1700s flashbacks and that lesmand will be top 2 of Armand's dynamics on season 3. Depending on what they want to do with armandiel, they might even explore more of lesmand next season, since that's 'Lestat's' season and they can have all future seasons for armandiel? I mean, I can see something kind of like season 2, when we had loumand, but dreamstat was still a significant presence and then the big scene at the end. Plus, I'm expecting Daniel to have a lot of screen time with Louis and Lestat, respectively.

Btw, sorry I deflected so much, I just had a lot to say, lmao. Thank you for the message. :)

[boysborntodie]

how do you feel about this whole "little brother" agenda in the outsiders musical, genuinely curious.

just wanna elaborate a little since I've got a chance to because I cannot be the only one suffering through this, I do not think that the relationship between jally has to be strictly romantic, and for me they're just inevitable soulmates in every universe, but making them into an older/younger sibling dynamic makes me feel like they just watered down their whole dynamic? and left no space for free interpretation, including jally shippers. i swear to god man, the song "little brother" had SO MUCH potential and the sibling dynamic was just incredibly unnecessary. the thing I'm most afraid of is people starting to think of them as a problematic ship or some shit and I'm NEVER letting that go 😭😭😭😭

EXACTLY THANK YOU took the words right out of my mouth, anon<33

Jally’s always been contested in the fandom because of their so-called ‘big bro-little bro’ dynamic which the movie itself also leans into a bit I think. It’s not wrong to read their relationship as such but feels a bit odd to me personally as their age difference in the novel is less than a year and also it’s feels so reductive when canon Jally feel to me, very much on equal footing.

And arguing against this dynamic for them feels as if people are just going to think you’re doing so for shipping reasons, which like you said is not the case!! I don’t view them as strictly or necessarily romantic and don’t need to do so in order to enjoy their relationship (for me they’re just each other’s person whatever the fuck that means for them)

Personally speaking what I enjoy about them is how against all odds, these are two characters who connected with each other and loved each other in a way that they never had with any other character (that is not to say that Pony isn’t just as important to Johnny, just that those characters have a different type relationship).

It’s about Dally never treating Johnny as a kid or inferior, conceding to Johnny even though we know what power and toughness means to Dally, yet he will be vulnerable and open with Johnny. About how Johnny rather than blindly idolising Dally, genuinely understands him and sees him as a person, and finds that person admirable. About how Johnny who is a character who is constantly put down in life, is allowed to interact with Dally on his own terms, and how Dally never pushes him.

You can argue that these things can ring true with a little-big brother dynamic but I just can’t see it and it just adds this power dynamic to them just is just very uninteresting to me when the ship’s appeal comes from the ways that they are on equal footing.

But again that’s just all debate and opinion, and the problem isn’t that viewing them as such is wrong or bad; not at all! Like you said, the issue is how stating their dynamic in these reductive terms, no longer allowing the open interpretation the novel had and thus making it an (stupid) argument against Jally and its shippers in fandom

[princesssarisa]

Character ask: Fiyero and Boq (Wicked)

I'm not really a die-hard Wicked fan, but here goes. This is for the musical only, since I haven't read the novel.

Warning: spoilers below.

Fiyero

Favorite thing about them: That despite seeming like a silly playboy at first, he proves to be a kindred sprit to Elphaba, who loves and respects her as she is, who tries to help and defend her when no one else in Oz is willing to do so, and who ultimately sacrifices everything for her, even (nearly) his life.

Least favorite thing about them: That he leads Glinda on by not breaking up with her even as he starts to fall for Elphaba, and then goes along with their engagement even though he doesn't want to marry her. He should have ended things between them long before it reached that point.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I can be snarky.

*I dislike fakeness and selling out.

*I can seem like just a fun-lover, but really I think and feel deeply.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I'm female.

*I'm not royalty.

*I was never a partying troublemaker in college.

Favorite line: His joke when Elphaba tells him she realizes he's not as shallow and self-absorbed as he seems:

"Excuse me, there's no pretense here: I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow."

And these lines from his dialogue with Glinda at the beginning of Act II, where he calls her out on her tragic flaw of choosing fame and popularity over everything else:

"You can't leave because you can't resist this. And that is the truth."

And when she objects that no one could resist it: "You know who could. Who has."

brOTP: His horse Feldspur in the movie, and probably Boq, especially if we keep the Scarecrow and Tin Man's friendship in mind. Not to mention Dorothy, even though their interactions are kept offstage.

OTP: Elphaba.

nOTP: Glinda.

Random headcanon: Hmmm... In the movie, he really did eat grass as a child. He's not just joking when he says he did.

Unpopular opinion: I like him better than Glinda as a romantic partner for Elphaba. Of course I understand that Elphaba and Glinda's bond is more central and more fleshed out, I see the appeal of Gelphie as a ship, and I know how much Gelphie means to countless fans. But personally? Without denying Glinda's importance to Elphaba, I prefer Fiyero as her love interest. He embraces her values and comes through for her in a way that Glinda only does at the very end, and no attempts I've read by Gelphie shippers to dismiss that fact ring true for me. As a couple, Fiyeraba reminds me in many ways of Esmeralda and Phoebus in Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame (these Stephen Schwartz musicals have recurring themes!), and I don't see many fans putting down that pairing, even though they're a bit underdeveloped too, and even though Esmeralda's friendship with Quasimodo is more central to the plot. On the contrary, the fans hold up their love as the main example of healthy love in that story! Besides, if we don't think Elphaba really loves Fiyero, then "No Good Deed" loses its power. If he's just "comphet" to her, why should his apparent death break her so much that she resolves to really be wicked and kidnaps Dorothy? And the reveal that he's still alive is what snaps her out of her breakdown and lets her reconcile with Glinda in the end. I have nothing against shipping Gelphie, but I can't dismiss Fiyeraba as just "boring comphet" the way most of the fandom seems to do.

Song I associate with them: "Dancing Through Life"

"As Long as You're Mine"

Favorite picture of them:

Norbert Leo Butz

Aaron Tveit

Andy Karl

Derrick Williams with Stephanie J. Block (more actors of color should play the role)

Adam Garcia with Idina Menzel

Jonathan Bailey in the movie

Boq

Favorite thing about them: Well, when we first meet him at least, he's a sweet, adorkable character, and if the Tin Man we know from The Wizard of Oz is a mostly accurate portrait of how he behaves on his journey with Dorothy, he never really loses those qualities.

Least favorite thing about them: First that he leads Nessarose on (a recurring flaw among the young men in this story, it seems) and lies about why he asked her out, even if his reason is to avoid hurting her. And later, of course, that he becomes such a bloodthirsty witch hunter, out to kill Elphaba for turning him into tin even though she saved his life by doing so.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I can be socially awkward.

*I'm not always good at standing up for myself.

*Sometimes I want to blame people for doing things that made me uncomfortable, when really those things were good for me.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I'm female.

*I've never had any romantic entanglements with witches.

*I've never been turned into tin.

Favorite line: His verse in "March of the Witch Hunters," even though it's his darkest moment:

And this is more than just a service to the Wizard I have a personal score to settle with El... With The Witch!

It's due to her I'm made of tin Her spell made this occur So for once, I'm glad I'm heartless I'll be heartless killing her!

And the Lion also has a grievance to repay If she'd let him fight his own battles When he was young He wouldn't be a coward, today!

brOTP: In the Shiz days before things go bad, Fiyero, Nessarose, Elphaba and Glinda (especially in the deleted scene from the movie that shows them all hanging out together). And after he becomes the Tin Man, Dorothy.

OTP: None.

nOTP: Nessarose or Glinda.

Random headcanon: When he sees Elphaba "melt," he'll be unexpectedly horrified; he'll find himself remembering their days at Shiz and the girl she once was, and realize that seeing her die horribly doesn't feel as good as he thought it would. (I'm basing this on the Tin Man's close-to-tears face after the Witch melts in the 1939 Wizard of Oz: we'll see if Wicked: For Good has Ethan Slater react in a similar way or not.)

Unpopular opinion: Even though he's far from blameless, nothing justifies Nessarose stripping him and all the other Munchkins of their rights and forcing him to stay with her, then trying to magically brainwash him into loving her. He may deserve some karma for lying about his feelings for her, but he doesn't deserve all that.

Song I associate with them:

His part in "Dancing Through Life"

"March of the Witch Hunters"

Favorite picture of them:

Christopher Fitzgerald

Riley Costello

Ethan Slater in the movie

[endlesscolddreams]

Why don't you ship usuk?

Because there are many types of love, and I honestly think familial love applies much better here.

That is not to say I don’t understand why one ships them or that they don’t fit, because that would be a lie. They are similar and different in equal measures, which makes them a great pair, and the gloomy vs. sunshine trope is appealing, but I can’t really ship them because there is a certain unconditional love between them that’s familial and not romantic in my opinion.

Familial bonds are foundational, providing a sense of security, identity, and history. Romantic bonds are more fluid, passionate, and dynamic, built on mutual attraction and emotional connection. Romantic love can be fleeting, can come and go, can destroy you and resent someone so much you want to destroy them because of the risks of change and heartbreak, but only a familial bond is enduring and eternal despite conflict or distance.

Take it with a grain of salt because, and I will repeat, this is just my opinion, and I’m sure someone must have put this into better words before, but I never talked about it, and I feel like developing this question.

America is the boy who grew up admiring England, doing everything to please, and while England felt this huge unconditional love for him because he was his boy—the best thing that ever happened to him really—he is a messy person who has trouble opening up, and each time he tried he would say the wrong thing or just dismiss America entirely. He was a strong empire with bigger problems at home, many places to be from one corner of the world to the other, and his guilt was enormous because he could see that America was just like him: a small, unruly thing who was lonely and unprepared, which meant toughening him up. It was exactly what made him become what England became, but obviously the situation is much different, times are different, and America may have many similarities to him on the surface, but deep down he is a completely different person.

(Sidenote: I headcanon that his avoidant and anxious attachment style is more like Francis than like England's avoidant tsundere, which makes Arthur astonished and completely out of his depth. Another thing to take into account is that, just like Francis, America is his own person and much more resilient than England, something England doesn't fully understand. England is sensible, prone to hold onto traditions since they give him control, and his youth was such a mess he was never his own person and suffers from a chronic identity and woes. 

Not that England shows that side of him; like all nations, his mask was carefully built to make him look unfeeling and cold, a preventive measure that creates a distance that is very common between parents and children. It's very difficult to read old nations properly; they have a flair for theatrics and meticulous rules and etiquette that only they still follow. America doesn't understand it, but he's not interested in knowing it either since he willingly prefers to be seen as a fool, his own facade, and basically ignores it, which only increases that distance. 

France uses his dramatic nature to overexpose and act out emotions that blatantly hide his real feelings, and I get the feeling that sometimes Alfred does that just to infuriate England.)

Now, America indeed needed to get rid of England, not only for his country but because of Arthur himself.

Arthur, the person, was emotionally dependent on him. He controlled everything to fuel up that dependency, and Alfred was finally enlightened enough to see that while he loved his father figure he was being caged in. He is his own man; he is strong enough, and he aims higher than he’s allowed to, so there is only one solution: freedom.

France plays a huge part in this by telling him about the days of his own captivity, days spent locked in palaces, forced to be the ideal 'representative' his bosses dreamed of a nation like him when all he wanted was to be a pirate like Spain, a missionary travelling the world, maybe dress prettily like he always loved without being forced to forgo certain colours or fashion, and most important of all: mingle with his lovely humans instead of sitting in his gilded cage. France is petty, and his resentment fuelled his words, but at the same time he saw promise in America, even if that promise was mainly to undermine and distract England from his goals.

(I will always hc that Francis dreamed of a world in his image and truly thought that having it all would bring peace and beauty for all these unfortunate souls who are less civilised.)

I digress here, but America looked up to France too because while England likes to trash talk his enemy, he respects him and even admires certain parts of him, which led to America's willingness to meet the blasted frog who makes England so angry he shakes like a flustered puppy.

This is to say that the fallout of the relationship between father and son was a mess because they wouldn't communicate. It doesn't mean the fallout wasn't needed—far from it. England was always too proud to back down, unwilling to conceive that he was not completely right and righteous in what he did for America because ultimately he was doing his best and loved him more than anything else.

But as soon as the war was over, they sat together and made new agreements that completely neglected all the others who helped America in the war. True story, it's like the kid who finally leaves home yet needs the parents help to make his new house presentable and functional. I imagine England would give him a proper trousseau, something he never gave anyone else because this was his heir and greatest hope/disappointment.

Still, there was a strain. Arthur was truly hurt, felt abandoned, and blamed everyone and himself for what happened, and Alfred was also hurt because all he wanted was Arthur’s support yet all he got was stiflement.

I think Alfred was always sure of Arthur’s love (unlike Matthew with Francis), but because Arthur can’t properly show it in a reasonable way (everyone has different needs and Alfred’s love languages are way different than Arthur’s in the end), their relationship was strained for that wretched century. It didn't’ help that Arthur was still trying to meddle in his business when he was growing and proving himself. Most of all, Alfred wanted to impress and show the world his valour, something Arthur didn’t think he needed to do because his worth was always very clear to him.

They only really begin speaking when they are forced together by the wars. The first one showed them how similar their interests and ways of working are, which opened them a little for proper communication, and the second really made them sit down and talk because enough is enough and America is a superpower in his own right and England is not as mighty as he once was, but he is still respected and finally begins to learn how to let Alfred go and trusts him to come back safe.

Nowadays, they're more in tune than not. England reluctantly let's America do his thing despite being the first to run across the world just to point out he warned him as he bakes him a treat (he's a lovely baker), and America, despite it all, keeps sneakily asking for England's advice because he's old and lived too long, and America secretly will always look up to him as an example and moral compass.

The thing with love and parents is that the relationship will never be easy.

You don't really communicate; the parents always see you as a small kid who keeps fucking up; you see them as obsolete fools who try to keep relevant despite the world being completely different, yet you still love each other and behave a lot like one another despite it all.

Alfred truly resembles Arthur in certain things (just ask Russia who will tell that he did the same thing during both the great game with England and the cold war with America, or maybe France, who has a certain fondness for America because he reminds him of the enemy across the channel. You can even ask China, who will tell his memory, sometimes mixes them both together, greedy children who can't play nice and enjoy disturbing his sleep. The only ones who refuse to see the semblance are indeed Arthur and Alfred, yet I think Alfred is more aware of it than Arthur, king of denial) and is almost a truly different version of England in others, but in the end it's pretty much clear that they’re related, or at least love each other unconditionally in a way a romantic love would destroy.

[skrunksthatwunk]

man i think part of what fucks me up (/pos) about the wedding scene (klk) is how well it conveys that the fantasy junketsu puts on ryuko is not a romantic one.

like i think it would've been really easy to make it about her wanting to find a man who could take care of things for her or love her unconditionally and when mako busts her out the message is You Don't Need A Man! You're A Strong Independent Woman!! or something (which is a perfectly fine message btw. i bring it up because i suspect that's how some people read it, especially those who see ryuko as straight, in an utena-hetero-girlboss way (yes i HAVE encountered that reading before. head in my hands)). maybe there's a montage of the groom and her at romantic milestones (confession, proposal, dates, moving in, whatever), and mako busts in while they're exchanging rings or leaning in for a kiss or something. they could have done that.

but the show puts SO little focus on the groom, to the point of emphasizing his facelessness and lack of relevance to the fantasy and its appeal (see the door handle knocking him over and ryuko not noticing, too busy looking at mako), that i think it's impossible to read it that way. and that's great bc what's actually there is so much more interesting and thematically relevant.

ryuko wants a normal childhood with a mom who loves her and spends time with her doing typical family stuff, who sticks with her as she grows up. the fantasy is of a normal development and family structure, of assimilation into a typical path of life for a woman, with its typical milestones. that includes getting married to a man. the fantasy is being naturally what society wants her to be, what will allow her to connect most easily to others within it. she's always butted heads with others, never fitting in for reasons she can't really understand, or often because she thinks the rules themselves are stupid. that came with isolation. loneliness.

the fantasy of junketsu's wedding is of conformity. it is also of conformity without effort, without awareness.

she doesn't want to force herself to fit in, because she knows that feels like shit. she wants it to be seamless. second nature. that's what junketsu appeals to. not the fantasy of pretending to be straight or becoming straight, but simply being straight.

(if it isn't clear by now, i view ryuko as a lesbian. this scene is a big part of why.)

it's ryuko pretending to be (and to always have been) something that will never cause her trouble, that will never alienate her. (or junketsu making her pretend that, though i think it caters to a lingering insecurity of ryuko's, that lack of stability, connection, and conformity in her real life).

it's also part of why mako and senketsu's rescue is not about mako being the right one for ryuko, but about ryuko's identity. her core state of being. who she is as a person.

(personally i read ryuko and mako as romantic (and i believe the show does as well, hence, y'know, the date and the mako hallelujah imagery during her asking her out and mako hitting on her and and and. sorry but however you feel about them as a ship they are definitively canon), and the scene does have romantic appeal/a romantic angle to it. but i think that romance comes from mako understanding ryuko deeply, and from calling her back into the person she is, rather than the person she could have been were she to have lived a Completely Different Life, and showing her that she has community and companionship even without this. she can be part of a group without doing all this shit. she doesn't have to fight alone, and this wedding business isn't the only way out of that loneliness. it's a gesture of love and concern for her as a person, one that comes from senketsu and mako together, the people who love her the most.)

ragyo wants conformity. she is a fascist. she wants everybody to wear the same clothes, to be in their proper place in society, and to submit to those who have rightful power over them. A hierarchy with life fibers at the top and humans at the bottom. ragyo designs and distributes the roles (clothes) people ought to wear, talks about clothes that don't suit people, etc. she wants ryuko to conform like she is, and like she has. a feelingless marriage to some man for what she can get from him. fitting in. she wants to have daughters that fit in. she wants to fit in. she wants to fit in because she's fetishized her place above other humans (pigs in human clothing, in roles unbefitting their pig status), her place under life fibers.

it has nothing to do with love, so ragyo doesn't even bother with it. nor does junketsu. even though the guise of love could be a powerful aide here, the staff chose to leave the message unmuddied. it is about conformity.

for ryuko to fulfill this fantasy, she would have had to be a completely different person, with a completely different life.

ryuko could not be ryuko and still wear that wedding dress. so she tore it off to be herself again (something she'd been lamenting/resisting since finding out she was "a goddamned life fiber monster" shortly before getting put in junketsu).

also note that satsuki used this wedding dress for her own aims as well, though she is lucid through it. it pains her. it's a role she takes on to fight against ragyo (fire with fire). but she says she realizes she couldn't win using others like pawns. she couldn't win from inside the hierarchy, the establishment. she couldn't win using a groom and a dress for her own inauthentic reasons, nor using that clout to climb the ranks of something that was wholly rotten just to get closer to ragyo. the whole tree must be felled.

anyway

[watchingyoufromthestars]

Finally cleaned this up so here’s my DnDads ultimate ship opinions list. I was waiting until after s2 ended to clean this up in case I had any final opinion changes with the last few episodes. Please don’t bash me for any of these. The DnDads fandom is generally very nice but shipping discourse is something that can get heated no matter the fandom.

Dads

Henry Darryl: very neutral. I understand the ship I just never fully got on the boat

Henry Glenn: absolutely fucking feral about them do not get me started on Glennry

Darryl Glenn: feral in a different way that I don’t know how to describe other than toxic yaoi in the way that they’re damaged but refuse to talk about it so they kiss about it instead

Loveeeeeeee polydads but only as Henry/Glenn/Darryl. Not really a Ron shipper I love him and Samantha too much. Ron and Glenn’s friendship is very important to me though

In terms of Jodie, I don’t really ship him with any of the main dads, ESPECIALLY not Glenn. Even if Jimmy didn’t play Jodie I’d still never ship them. Wish Scamster was real and not completely a scam because they’re literally a crackship become real except it was never a crackship before canon. It’s surprising to me that they weren’t really shipped beforehand

Henry Mercedes: THE T4T OF ALL TIME BABEYYYYY. Absolutely iconic couple, fate was in their favor with how they met they were destined for each other

Darryl Carol: After hearing how Darryl talked about his family in Heaven, I was actually really happy they ended up not getting divorced. They clearly had a rough patch as seen in s1, but they genuinely love each other and I love how devoted to her Darryl is. The little finger puppet he made of her in the time out zone… :,)

Glenn Morgan: GLORGAN!!!!!!!!! Oh my god these two tear me apart. I am feral for Glorgan angst there’s too much to work with. More people need to start calling them Glorgan instead of Morglenn please please please please pretty please indulge me in my silly ship name

Ron Samantha: sobbing. They’re so sweet. The distinction that Samantha is also a little silly is very important to me. They love each other so fucking much

Kiddads

Nicky Sparrow: didn’t realize how much I love them for a good while but when I did oh god I love them so so much. T4T it’s so real to me that they’re both trans

Nicky Lark: used to like it but yall mischaracterize Nicky so much in fics. If yall want toxic yaoi just ship Grant and Lark I’m so serious

Nicky Terry: sobs. They were best friends. I don’t personally ship them but the fact that Terry said he was his best friend… that line rattles around in my brain so often

Nicky Grant: recently learned this might get shipped and has THE coolest ship name. Crossfire I love you but for the ship name alone

Sparrow Terry: I think I’ve seen this shipped a few times but only in the context of Terry/Nicky/Sparrow. Not my personal cup of tea though

Sparrow Grant: I don’t see this shipped too often but they have the worst ship name ever /aff. Wtf is a spant lol. Also I’m too much team transfem Sparrow to feel comfortable shipping this

Lark Terry: do not know the appeal of Gun Control but their ship name is fun

Lark Grant: toxic yaoi central. They both need intense therapy but them both being so fucked up is what makes them interesting not that that’s healthy though

Terry Grant: I see them more in a qpr place than anything romantic. I have one fic of them that’s bookmarked on Safari because I think about a part from it from time to time

Don’t have any poly ships for them

In terms of s2 spouses I so desperately wished we could’ve seen more of them. We barely get to see them

Nicky Cassandra: Telling Taylor his dad was a good man and that she misses him every day makes me think they parted on good terms. But then Nicky disappeared because of FBI shit. In another life maybe they could’ve worked.

Sparrow Rebecca: more ugly sobbing. I’m unsure on my sparroace thoughts if they’d end up getting divorced post-finale but I know they’re not fully separating or breaking up. They really are in love but it’s unconventional and messy.

Terry Veronica: I think the reveal that Terry is infertile is a nice touch to their relationship. It sounds weird to say and I feel like I might word this all weirdly. Him being unable to have bio kids but finding love in someone who wants to raise a kid with him anyways. Veronica finding new love again after a supposedly abusive relationship. Both of those combined is something I really love.

Grant Marco: Canon gays ftw. The Titanic episode was so generous in letting us get to see their dynamic. Obviously Grant still has a long way to go in finding self love but I’m so happy he found someone who can support him and loves him back like this.

Teens

Normal Scary: ugly sobbing over them I love them so much. Cradling my madomagi and tma aus with them as madohomu and jmart

Normal Taylor: yearning for the early s2 days like when they went to Sonic and made some devious plan off screen I wish they had more silly interactions together. Was truly fed with the kareoke intro and them bonding over costume making for a minute. Tayloak could be so interesting if there was more material to work with

Normal Link: Childhood BFFs to Lovers; I wish they could’ve hung out more as kids but all that happened

Normal Hermie: I get the hype but I have personal reasons for feeling neutral on them that I wish I could get over. Good soup though /ref

Scary Taylor: see them too much as a sibling dynamic to ever ship them

Scary Link: respect to all y’all shippers but I do not gothcleats and will leave it at that forever. I can only accept the finale with my transfem Link hc

Scary Hermie: I love Scene Partners. These stupid kids and reflecting each other /aff

Taylor Link: one that I can’t believe I didn’t ship sooner they’re so silly

Link Hermie: I think this one is very funny (/pos) but not my personal vibe

Love love LOVEEEEEEEE Marloakworthy AUGH. A giant triangle of everyone paralleling each other

Polywagon I love you; cannot believe you’re real and genuinely canon. This is just Homestuck again when Hussie said all ships are canon (DnDads never beating the Homestuck allegations from me)

Scary Erica: wish there were more interactions I love Erica so much but alas she’s a guest NPC. “You awaken a lightness in me” sapphic ass Scary I know what you are

[sweetpapercroissant]

i don’t get the appeal of an incest ship if you’re only ever going to focus on the good romantic feelings and not the icky negative ones. the resentment the feeling of being trapped shackled wanting out and away from the person who knows so much too much about you since before you even knew to not allow it but at the same time you can’t imagine living in a world without them being away is like tearing a limb a piece of your soul you will never again be complete without them. no one else will ever understand you the way they do no one else will ever get so deep under your skin and you may hate it but you hate the thought of them not being there even more you can’t stand to see anyone else get to a part of them you didn’t and even worse when they get it before you. you push and you push and you push but when they let go it’s like you’re free falling and it doesn’t matter how far away you run you will never be far enough away because you carry them inside you everywhere you go. you tell yourself you want nothing more than to get away but they’re the only home you will ever have and you won’t ever let anyone get that close you’re already moulded to only fit in perfectly with them and you didn’t have a choice but this is who you are. there’s nothing you could do to make them let you go but there’s nothing you could do to make them let you go. you want to be so close to them you want to merge your bodies into one you hate how crowded you feel when they’re in the same room like they’re sucking in all the air and there isn’t any left for you and you want to get away so you can just breathe but you don’t even want to breathe in the air that hasn’t passed through their lungs first you hate that you feel this way you wish you could claw it out of your veins but then who would you be without it without them you want so much and it’s so ugly and you’re ashamed of how raw that need is how you want every part the good the bad the human you wish none of this had ever happened you feel dirty you never even had a chance to find something else be something else but then you look over and you love them so much so much and when it comes down to it nothing else was ever going to be enough for you anyway.

[chaoticbardlady99]

Lethal Woman- Chapter 3 (Astarion x GN! Reader)

Background- You are a Nightmask Death Bringer who was kidnapped by a Nautiloid Ship. Along with 6 strangers, you search Faerun for a cure for the Tadpoles in your heads- before it’s too late.

(Sorry guys, it will get more romantic)

(Also if you sent a request, I am going to do them this weekend tomorrow. Work is exhausting)

TW: Gore, death, nightmares, panic attacks, suicidal ideation, mentions of Cannibalism but like barely cause vampirism?

Chapter Four

Chapter 3: Rowan (you!)

It has been a few days since Astarion fed on you. It wasn’t much of a bother or a nuisance for him to ask. You even gave him permission to do it again as long as he asks first. He was thrilled.

You didn’t understand why he hadn’t just said something. You literally trained under a vampire spawn-needing blood was normal. You immediately knew Astarion was a vampire spawn and who better to drink from than you- the potential vampire empathizer. You were expecting it. Statistically, you were the one who would be less likely to put a wooden stake in his chest.

What you didn’t expect, however, was Astarion’s confession regarding the experience of drinking your blood.

“I have had this condition for two centuries, but truth be told… you were my first,” he says, avoiding your eyes.

You stand and sit in your silent shock. His first? You knew and well, anyone who had a basic knowledge of vampires, knew that Vampire Spawn are much stronger with humanoid blood running through their veins. Dahlia feeds her spawn humanoid blood. Hells- she even encouraged it. You stare at him with confusion and he avoids your eyes again.

He nervously continues, “In all these years, I’ve only ever fed on beasts. Drinking the blood of thinking creatures is a different thing entirely. You were delectable and now I’m wondering how the others would taste…”

He looks at you as if to see if you’ll indulge him. You see through his facade. Although he wants you to believe he is confident in what he just said, your eyes see the fear of being judged and crucified.

You feign heartbreak and pretend to cry in agony.

“You are already looking at other necks?” you gasp, “I’m hurt!”

He gives you a toothy grin followed by an eye roll. You swear you see his eyes soften for a second as he watches you.

“Oh don’t worry darling, I don’t think they would be open to the idea anyhow. Alas, it doesn’t hurt to ponder the question though?”

“Well, give me some examples. What do you think our companions taste like?”

He taps his chin, pretending to think- like he hasn’t thought about this talking point all day.

“Take Gale for example. He strikes me as someone who’s blood is rich, refined like a well-aged brandy,” He suggests, “but the gith? What in the hells would she taste like?”

You grimace. You know exactly what a gith tastes like, but you aren’t sure if your taste buds were similar to his in regards to blood.

“I’ve tried gith blood,” you say while your mouth twists in disgust, “their blood tastes like Whalebone Spice to me, but maybe your taste buds are different.”

It took a minute for Astarion to register what you said before he let out a chuckle.

“Sometimes I forget the whole… ya know” he gestures to you, “but the real question is, if you could try anyone’s blood in camp, who would it be?”

You hadn’t actually put much thought into that. You peer around at your companions. Gale has a giant bomb in him- so no. Lae’zel you already know is a no. Karlach would literally light you on fire the minute you sunk your teeth in her and Wyll? You were already on his shit list for messing with him too much and you were attempting to patch that relationship up. So that leaves either Astarion or Shadowheart and you certainly were not going to feed Astarion’s ego any further.

“Hmm Shadowheart. I think she’d taste like Honey wine.”

“Oh that sounds very appealing. I’m almost convinced.”

You narrow your eyes with a playful grin on your face, “All hypothetical still, yes?”

“Absolutely,” he smiles back, “a mere thought experiment.”

After, he leaves to go hunting. You watch him saunter off into the woods- a part of you wanting to go along.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like your other companions- in fact everyone (minus Wyll) had really taken to you.

Gale was constantly coming up to you, showing off different magic tricks, and asking questions about your… condition. Shadowheart enjoys drinking a glass of wine with you after a particularly shitty day and Lae’zel enjoys picking your brain about different fighting styles- teaching each other new moves and advantages/disadvantages to use against enemies.

Karlach had taken the title of “Honorary Best Friend” because well, she is. You were beyond grateful for Karlach and her goofiness- she humbles you, makes you feel less serious about yourself.

She’s also….. Safe. Safe. A feeling you haven’t felt in a very long time.

Then there was Astarion.

That beautiful fucking bastard. You have come across plenty of handsome men in your travels, but not one of them held a candle to Astarion. You found yourself enjoying parts of him that you usually wouldn’t notice or maybe find attractive.

You enjoy his quick wit, shameless flirting, and a lack of overall seriousness about life. You figure it’s a ruse, but for now, you let both of you enjoy not being under the thumb of a Master Vampire for once. You also find him to be very funny- frequently having to stifle laughter so you don’t sound like a school girl. Oh and his lock picking skills? A rogue could only dream.

Karlach teased you ruthlessly after your first week at camp.

“I see why you wear the mask now.”

“What do you mean?”

Karlach snickered, “Oh pleaseeeeeeee- you look at Fangs with puppy eyes. It’s adorable!”

You scoffed, “There are no puppy eyes.”

“Whatever,” Karlach giggled like a schoolgirl, “Astarion and Rowan sitting in a tree-”

“KARLACH!”

Maybe you are a bit smitten, but you know he would never give you a second glance if you hadn’t both fell out of the sky with tadpoles in your head.

Besides, it was better to keep him and everyone at arm’s length. Tessa’s murder had broken you. If something happened to any of your companions because of you… you didn’t know what would happen. You just hope you don’t ever have to find out.

You had been attempting to stay away from Astarion, but he certainly wasn’t allowing you any space away from him. As you travel, he keeps pace with you in the back. He showers you with honeyed words, but he does ask genuine questions about you here and there.

When you are fighting, he is often near you and follows the way you move. It made fights feel like a bloody, gorey ballroom dance- except you lead and he follows. You both typically loot rooms together as well. So if anything- you are realizing you are basically fucked and your emotions probably aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Sometimes he just wants to understand how you became a Deathbringer and your assortment of abilities.

He frequently asked if it was the same process as becoming a spawn, who would win in an arm wrestle match (you think it would be you and secretly he does too), can you see in the dark, can blood sustain you without you ever eating food, etc, etc.

You told him you weren’t close enough to share ‘your mutual rising from the undead stories yet.” He snickered at that and left the conversation alone. You did answer his questions regarding your physical feats.

All the while you soak in how beautiful he is and take in his playful, mischievous disposition. You know he will break your heart and you don’t know if you are worried enough to care.

My Gods! Rowan FOCUS! No more pup-

You feel a hard slap on your shoulder, interrupting your train of thought. Gale offers a smile and asks if you would like to enjoy some wine with him around the campfire. You accept. You might as well take the time to relax and get to know your companions.

Tomorrow you were heading out to discover what Kagha is up to and her plans for the Grove- much to Astarion’s dismay. Astarion was not happy with you accepting Zevlor’s request for aid, but he insisted on going tomorrow anyway.

You had taken the role of leader because you were the only one who was neutral enough to delegate solutions, find problems in people’s biased solutions, and then make a decision based on what would ultimately be best for the group. It’s exhausting.

You are no hero. You never wanted to be and you certainly never claimed to be. You just want to get back home-to Baldur’s gate, to work, to peace and quiet. Before you are forced to stay in Westgate for Gods only knows how long. The Faceless always has something waiting for you.

You and Gale sat around the fire drinking a bottle of wine and getting to know each other. You also make plans to meet Tara after all this is over.

The first bottle of wine being finished led to the unfortunate second bottle of wine.

You aren’t upset at how your head feels like it’s swimming and your limbs are floating in space. You feel free for the very first time in a while. Being out under the stars, drinking wine with a new companion, and nowhere near the crime riddled city of Westgate.

“Soooooooo,” Gale slurs, “I can’t imagine you grew up wishing to be a Deathbringer, hmm?”

Ah, you thought, of course the wizard decided to get me drunk and ask me personal questions.

You narrow your eyes at him, searching his face for signs of manipulation or hidden intentions, but all you see is- curiosity? Gale was sitting with himself leaning towards you, making direct eye contact, and a look of utter fascination- a need for knowledge.

“Uh well-”

“Oh and what in the hells is going on here?”

Astarion comes up to you both- tiny splatters of blood on his shirt. He pouts as he looks at you.

“You drank a bottle of wine and started another one!? Without me!?” He puts the back of his hand to his forehead like a damsel in distress, “darling, I must insist that you repay me by letting me join this little social gathering.”

You hear Gale’s huff of frustration as you shrug.

“Makes sense.”

Astarion smiles widely, sitting himself right next to you on the makeshift log- you miss the shit eating grin he flashes Gale.

Karlach appears out of thin air, grabbing the bottle out of your hands. She smiles at you as she plops down next to Gale.

“A party and you didn’t even invite me,” Karlach shakes her head, “for shame.”

Karlach takes a swig of the wine before handing it to you. You fill your cup up and fastly drink the terrible (and probably very cheap) wine. Astarion scrunches his face in disgust as he takes his first sip.

He sighs, “Beggars can’t be choosers I guess.”

“Anyyyywayyy,” Gale says with annoyance in his voice, “did you always want to be a Deathbringer?”

All six eyes look at you with anticipation as you stare into the fire- contemplating what you are going to say.

Did you always want to be a Deathbringer? No- you didn’t want to at all. In fact, in your earlier years, you had wanted to remain in the village and become a healer.

Even now you didn’t want to be a Deathbringer. You had hoped you would be free of this life with Tessa. You had a plan-you would leave the night before the rite and you would flee with her to Baldur’s Gate. You had talked about buying a town home in Baldur’s Gate.

When you had enough money, you bought a town home. Still empty besides a bed and occasionally food.

You begin slowly, “No actually. When I lived with my parents in our small town, I wanted to become a great healer. I guess all I wanted was to survive Westgate once I got there. Then I met Dahlia and it was no longer about what I wanted. Well until I became a Deathbringer under the Faceless.”

You look up at your companions as they all look at you with varying expressions. Gale looks like he is exploding trying not to ask for more details. Karlach also looks at you as if you are on the verge of telling the greatest stories alive and then there was Astarion. Astarion’s face was unreadable.

“There really isn’t that much more to it,” you slur, “and anyway. It’s probably about time I hit the hay!”

Despite how inebriated you are, you manage to make it to your tent and close yourself in. You feel tears fall down your eyes.

Gods!

You definitely said too much and that’s why you booked it. In your previous life, Dahlia would have chastised and beaten you for your disdain over becoming what you are. You were always meant to be the next best Deathbringer- her favorite weapon of choice. Not to be loved. Not to be given the mercy of kindness. No matter how much you feel like you deserve it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You slowly creep into the sewer holding your breath in anticipation. Looking for the Mercenary that was hired to kill a powerful ally of the Faceless was no easy task. Dahlia had vouched for you at the meeting with the Faceless. Her eagerness to show you off won. Now here you are, looking for some douchebag Mercenary who probably wasn’t even that big of a threat to some Duke anyway, but having an easy fight with a mercenary was more preferable to the beating Dahlia would give you if you refused. You were going to be the next Deathbringer. She would make sure of it.

As you walk through the cave, the smell of rotting hits your nose. Something has been dead here for a moment. Possibly not very long considering the Gods awful heatwave you had been having in Westgate.

You continue your slow trek down the sewer when you hear her scream. You shoot straight up on your feet turning in the direction of the voice and you run. You run like fucking hells. Your head screams her name. Tessa. Tessa. Tessa.

Her screams became substantially more blood curdling as you hurled your way down the tunnel, but it’s too late. Her insides were sprawled across the sewer like a disgusting sculpture. Her face was lifeless and bloodied- the right side of it completely destroyed. You feel sick.

*Tear*

You turn slowly towards the direction of the horrific, wet noise.

A man in plain clothes and bright crimson red eyes looks at you. Her heart in his hand as he takes a bite out of it like an apple.

The scream rips through you as you rush forward and-

You wake from your sleep with a painful gasp. Your stomach is turning. You sit up and immediately turn to the side and nearly vomit. You manage to take a few deep breaths and get on your feet.

You push through your tent flaps and hastily rush in the direction of a lake you had found earlier that day.

When you are certain none of your companions have seen you, you begin to run.

The tears sting your face as you go racing through the forest. Your lungs are killing you- barely getting enough air to calm down-let alone run the way you are.

Your mind is swimming with thoughts of her. The way she laughed, her smile, her lips against yours, everytime she healed you when you snuck into her dorm.

When she came to your aide when you were left for dead- how she brought hope back into your heart.

Your body hits the cold water before your brain can register it. You lose the rest of the air in your lungs as the cold shocks your body. You push yourself back up to the surface, gasping for air. Your eyes are blurry from the water.

“You know darling,” you spin yourself around in horror as his voice cuts through the air, “I have had people try to get my attention before in a lot of ways, but this? This is a new one.”

Astarion is smirking at you in the water with his head cocked to the side. You scowl.

“I wasn’t trying to get your attention I was trying to-” you stop yourself, “no. Nevermind.”

You pull yourself to shore and begin to angrily charge away from Astarion. Except you don’t get very far when he grasps your wrist.

“Wait,” he says softly, “it was a joke… I’m not very good at asking people about why they are running like a maniac in the woods. I never thought I would need to… well, have that particular skill set.”

You smile despite yourself before giving him a gentle push. Your nightmare still sits heavily in your stomach, but his smile makes your broken heart feel only warmth and laughter.