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lovequartz · 4 years ago

Text

gardenias & bloodroot

₊˚. pairing: sailor!vernon x fairy!reader

₊˚. genre: fairy + post-dystopia au, fluff, angst

₊˚. warnings: self-mutulation, brief mentions of violence

₊˚. word count: 3.7k+

₊˚. we are both salt water mixed with air

₊˚. notes: im so very excited to be posting here and i hope you all enjoy this little word souffle my tinie brain whipped up

The first time Chwe Hansol lays eyes on you he’s staring more so at the peach in your hand than your face. He’d agreed to watch over Joshua’s peach stall while the latter ran off to run an errand. “I’ll be back soon, it’ll be like I never even left.” His friend promised him with that signature Joshua Hong twinkle in his eye. Vernon didn’t believe him, of course, he knew Joshua. He had zoned out and now realized that you were here to buy peaches, obviously.

“Joshua isn’t here today?” Your voice is warm, like honey on just toasted bread. It takes him a moment to register your question and the tip of his ears burns as he gives you a delayed answer. “Joshua went to run an errand, he’ll be back soon if you want to wait for him?” You give him a sweet smile. “I see,” you set down the peach in your hand, “and..you are?” Vernon wipes his palms against the denim of his jeans, and offers his hand to you. “Vernon, friend of Joshua.” You let out a small laugh as you take his larger hand in your smaller one, shaking it. “It’s very nice to meet you Vernon, friend of Joshua.” Your eyes are teasing.

He moves to take his hand out of yours but instead you turn it over, now both your hands are holding his one. You brush your thumb across his palm and suddenly he feels heat rush to his face. He’s not sure why but he feels as though he should be embarrassed. “What do you do for work? Farming like Joshua?” Your eyes leave his hand and meet his as you finish your question. “No,” Vernon pauses to center his thoughts, “I work on a ship. I’m a sailor.” You nod, seemingly happy to have your answer. You release his hand and put yours in the pockets of your dress. “You have a working man’s hands, I should’ve guessed sailor.” He opens his mouth to reply but Joshua appears behind you.

The peach farmer pats your shoulders and you turn to give him a grin. “Good afternoon favorite customer.” He says cheerily, releasing you to stand behind his fruits with Vernon. “Hello Joshua,” you reply, “I think playing hooky is frowned upon in the business world.” Joshua rolls his eyes playfully and reaches down to grab something from behind the stall. He presents you with a bag. “5 of my best just for you.” You take the bag from him and open it to take a peek. They’re perfectly round and that beautiful red-yellow, just about ripe. “You spoil me.”

You set the bag of peaches down to reach into the tote hanging on your shoulder, pulling out the amount you owe and a little bit extra. You’ve worn Joshua down into accepting the few more bills you always give him a long time ago and he knows not to argue with you. “Well I’ll be going then, can’t be taking up too much of your time.” You say as you tuck the peaches into your tote and slip it back on your shoulder. Your eyes flit to Vernon, who’s been silently watching your exchange with his friend. “It was very nice to meet you, again. Take care.” The sweet smile returns for a moment before you turn to walk away, disappearing into the crowd.

“You don’t usually chat up people like that.” The twinkle is back in the older man’s eyes and Vernon can’t help but roll his. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, I”m serious! I saw the hand-holding Mr. Chwe.” “It wasn’t hand-holding.” Vernon replies, bumping Joshua’s shoulder with his own. “Well whatever it was it seemed pretty intimate to me.” The coy look on the strawberry blonde’s face is nothing short of irritating but Vernon just sighs and pulls the apron he’s wearing off. “Goodbye Joshua.”

The next time Vernon sees you is on the docks, his ship just coming in from a long morning but a successful catch. Once they anchor and he ties the ship up the rest of the crew unloads, taking the morning’s haul to the market. “Good work today gentlemen.” The booming voice of his captain, Choi Seungcheol, exclaims. “Wonwoo, Mingyu, and Vernon, you’re free to go. Rest up, I’ll see you three next week.” The men exchange farewells, and as he turns to make his way back into town he sees you. You’re crouched enticing one of the dock kittens to play by waving your shoelaces at it, the small animal pounces back and forth trying to swat at them. Your tinkling laughter and the joy in your eyes pulls at his heartstrings.

“What brings you here?” He manages to walk up to you without startling you or the kitten playing at your feet. Your eyes snap up to meet his, and a smile blooms on your face at the sight of him, he wants to live in that smile he thinks. “Hello yourself sailor Vernon.” You reply, patting the kitten on its small head before standing. “Spying on me now, are you?” He teases, taking in you in your striped shirt and patterned socks that aren’t quite a pair. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” you tease him right back, and he grins. “Actually, I was harvesting,” you continue, motioning to the purple flowers sticking out of your ever present tote, “but my curiosity got the best of me so here I am.”

“Are you a florist?” Vernon asks, trying to match the flowers you’re carrying to a name. You shake your head, “I wish. I’m an herbalist, nothing as elegant as a florist.” He nods, “Well what did you manage to pick today? I don’t think I know what plant that is.” You pluck one of them out of your bag and lay it flat in your palms. “It’s sea lavender, I’m using it to treat this little girl. She gets terrible mouth ulcers, and I can’t get this where I live so I have to come down here.” Vernon drinks your words up like a man thirsty, he might truly be enamored with you.

At some point in your conversation the two of you take a seat on the docks, kicking your feet above the surface water below. Vernon tells you about his ship crew, his captain Seungcheol is a fierce and compassionate leader. Second mate Wonwoo, a navigational specialist, can direct the correct path even in the most ruthless of sea storms. Mingyu, who can cook a mean meal, oversees the ship’s supplies and maintenance.

“I think you’ve talked about just everyone on your crew except yourself. What’s your specialty, sailor Vernon?” Your eyes twinkle, and his ears redden at the nickname. “I wouldn’t say I have a specialty, but I’m in charge of the ropes and sails.” He says, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck. You listen intently as Vernon explains the details of his role, and he itches to hold your face in his hands.

“I should probably get going.” You sigh as you glance at the sun and how far it has sunken in the sky. “Me too.” Vernon agrees, standing and holds his hands out for you to take. Your fingers wrap around his as he gently pulls you to your feet. Smiling, you give his hands a thankful squeeze before releasing them. “I-I could walk you home? If you want me to, that is.” His sincerity is enough to make you swoon. “Well, I don’t know if Joshua told you, but I actually live in the next town over. You can walk me to the trolley though, if you don’t mind.” Vernon nods eagerly at your suggestion which pulls a giggle out of you. He really was too cute for his own good.

The trolley hasn’t left yet, thankfully. It seems you and Vernon had arrived just on time. “This is me,” You motion to the vehicle, “thanks for the wonderful conversation and everything that followed. You’re very kind, sailor Vernon.” He gives you a boyish grin. “You’re welcome. Stay safe on your way home.”

There are dates with Vernon after that. He brings you to the ocean and splashes you with seawater, as if you’re two children without a care in the world. You take him to the forest, teaching him about plants and their healing abilities. There’s hand-holding and shy laughter. Cheek kisses and two people brimming with joy and fondness.

“He has eyes like a doe, they’re so gentle and filled with kindness.” You practically coo to Jun, who merely listens as the two of you enjoy the sunlight on the stone steps of your small cottage home. “I’ve never heard you talk about anyone like this before.” Jun muses in response. You offer hima grinin response. “Vernon isn’t like anyone I’ve ever met before.” The man next to you shrugs. “Will you tell him?” The question makes a shiver go down your spine and you look away. “I don’t know.” “Well if you do decide to, just,” Jun pauses, “be careful. There are still people out there who would pay a pretty penny for fairy wings.”

Jun’s words throb inside your head hours after your conversation with him. He’s right, of course, there could be disastrous not to mention dangerous consequences to telling Vernon the truth about yourself. You have to see your mother.

The museum of fairy wings is a peculiar building, white with gothic style architecture. It sits on a hill and overlooks the sea. You take a seat on one of the small benches scattered throughout the building, facing the wall in which the wings are displayed. Your eyes search before finding the pair of wings you’re looking for.

The wings encased are rounded at the tips, orange fades into yellow, top to bottom. Their translucent shine brightens under the fluorescents and gardenias surround them half-circled. The little plaque under the glass frame reads ‘Gardenia’ etched into bronze. The smaller text is a name, Hong Jiyu, the procurer.

Hong Jiyu is Joshua’s paternal grandmother, the procurer of the fairy wings behind the glass, the wings that were once attached to a wife and a mother. Your mother.

The first time you saw Joshua hate rushed through you so red-hot you thought your skin was burning. You watched him for days, wondering how you would hurt him. How you’d cause his family the same pain and suffering they’d caused you. But Joshua wasn’t his grandmother.

He was softhearted and good-natured. A farmer with broad shoulders and strawberry blonde hair. He knows everything there is to know about peaches and children revel in his presence. He has a smile that makes the butterflies in your stomach frenzy.

So you forgave. Your mother wasn’t coming back, and hurting Joshua wouldn’t change that. You went to his stall in the market one day and bought a peach, took it home and sliced it up. You ate it outside, in the grass of your yard and cried like the day you were born. You never stopped buying peaches from Joshua after that.

Vernon didn’t know why you wanted to meet him inside the museum. He also didn’t expect it to be a place you frequented. The only experience he had with it really was when Joshua’s grandma would take them when they were little, showing them her 'trophies’. He shudders at the memory.

You were seated, on a bench, staring at the green-yellow wings Joshua’s grandma loved to show off. Her favorite.

Vernon quietly made his way behind you, careful not to alert you of his presence. Hands slide in front of your eyes effectively obscuring your vision, and your lips curl into a smile. "Well hello to you too.” You say, your fingers hooking around his to pull them from your face. “Hi.”

He takes the spot next to you, hand taking yours to link your fingers. “One of your regular haunts?” You let out a chuckle. “Something like that.” The two of you sit in comfortable silence and Vernon’s thumb traces the back of your hand.

“Why are you really here?” If Vernon is one thing it is observant. You sigh before training your eyes on your mother’s wings. “Do you ever think about the people these wings were attached to?” You shift your gaze to his face. “Were they mothers? Daughters? Brothers? Uncles? Did they like to dance or sing? Maybe their favorite color was blue because it matched the ocean in their lover’s eyes?"

Vernon’s free hand comes up to cup your cheek and you lean into his touch. "Are you okay?” He asks, voice soft. You shake your head slightly. “I think I need some air."

The air outside is cool and crisp, and your lungs breath it in gratefully. Vernon’s thumb is still rubbing circles on the back of your hand, keeping you grounded. "I’m alright.” You assure him when you see the unsure glaze his hazel eyes carry. “I promise, I’m okay.” He nods, squeezing your hand gently. His other hand reaches into his front pocket, fingers grazing the worn photo tucked there. “I was gonna wait a bit to give this to you, but I’m going to sea tomorrow. There’s an area Seungcheol wants to explore and it’s quite aways away. We’ll probably be gone for 10 days or more. So, I wanted you to have this.” He pulls the photo out, and presents it to you.

You release his hand to take the photograph from him, turning it over in your hands gingerly. The subject of the picture is Vernon himself, and it was probably taken a few years ago. He looks a little younger, but there’s that same boyish grin of his. His black hair is in his eyes and the ocean sparkles behind him. The back reads 'Yours, for better or for worse - Vernon Chwe’ And tears brim in your eyes.

“Wouldn’t want you to forget my face while I’m away.” He says with a chuckle. You don’t respond and instead wrap your arms around him, pressing your face into his neck. Vernon smiles as his arms encircle you, content to hold you. You pull away to look at him after a few moments, your eyes tracing his features. “As if I could ever forget a face like yours.” You say, holding his jaw in your hand, your thumb tracing it’s line.

Vernon walks you down to the trolley, like he did all those weeks ago when the relationship between the two of you was just blooming.

“So I suppose I’ll see you when you get back, sailor Vernon.” You jest, your smile not really reaching your eyes. “You will.” He assures with a smile of his own. “Don’t go falling in love with any mermaids while you’re gone. They may be pretty at first glance, but they’re really quite ruthless.” Vernon laughs, and leans down to press a kiss against the smooth skin of your cheek. “I’ll try my very hardest.”

“We’re due west a little more.” Wonwoo says, staring at the pieces of parchment in his hands. He always hand drew his charts and maps, citing that they just helped him navigate better. Vernon complies with Wonwoo’s concern and shits the sails so the wind can catch them and steer the ship in the right direction.

After a sufficient amount of sailing, six hours give or take, the crew was released. Dinner was still warm in his stomach while he got ready to sleep. Mingyu was brushing his teeth in the adjacent bathroom, the sound of the sink running filling the silence of the lower deck. Vernon is folding his pants when he finds it. Tucked in his back pocket is a photograph. At first he thinks you slipped the one he gave you back to him, not wanting to take it, but it’s you in the picture. Your pretty eyes and shy smile. On the back in crooked writing it says 'Keep this safe for me until you return’, a small heart is drawn just under the words. He imagines you drawing it, that sparkle in your eyes.

Vernon has been gone for a few days, and you think now would be the perfect time. Jun usually helps you, but you’ve done it enough times alone as well. You shuffle through your kitchen, searching for one of your knives, the one with the knotted handle. Jun had sharpened it for you earlier that week, the sunlight filtering through your home makes the white blade gleam. Experience leads you quietly to the mirror hung on the wall of your living room. You had stuck the photo Vernon gave you between the frame and the glass, so you could see his grin before you left and when you arrived home. You wonder what he’d think if he could see you now as you shed your shirt. There are short stubs protruding out of your back where you once had full-grown fluttering wings. They used to be such a vibrant red-violet, now the short pieces were a dull maroon, the life had drained from them a long time ago. Every time seems to hurt less than the last. You remember the first time you cut them yourself, before you had Jun’s help. The pain was so excruciating, you felt like some had twisted a blade into your heart. You cried yourself to sleep that night and didn’t move at all in the days following. Now you feel like you’d gotten used to the pain, what used to be unbearable now felt like a mildly uncomfortable pinch.

Not many people knew that a fairy’s wings grew back, like the skin of a wound. You kill the fairy, you kill the wings. You and Jun, and all the other fairies you knew had been cutting your wings off as a protective measure ever since your mother had died. Having no wings seemed to be a fair trade for living in peace.

The blade slides cleanly between your wing stump and the skin of your back, and you grimace at the feeling of the hot blood sliding down your skin. The pain was bearable though, and you moved on to the other one, giving it the same treatment. Your eyes meet the photo of Vernon once again, and as your blood drips down to the wooden floor you feel a sick sense of relief.

Your sunkissed sailor returns even more sunkissed than the last time you saw him. You’re awaiting his arrival when his ship anchors and the crew files off, chatter and laughter filling the air as the men set foot on the docks. Vernon’s grin widens as he spots you, and you can’t help but give him one in return. It’s much too crowded to offer him the affection you want to, so instead you take his hand and follow the path into town.

Convincing Vernon to ride the trolley with you back to your cottage takes no effort at all, he even seems a bit excited to be invited. He tells you all about the places he’d seen on the expedition and the beautiful coves the crew got to swim in when they weren’t on the job. “Sounds like it was more of a vacation than a work trip.” You tease, a bit envious. “I think that might’ve been Seungcheol’s plan from the beginning.”

Getting Vernon acquainted to your small home is ridiculously easy. It’s like he belonged there in your living area, sitting comfortably on the bronze corduroy chair as he sipped on some of the cold tea you’d brewed earlier.

“What did you occupy yourself with while I was away. Can’t imagine you’d be sitting still for long.” His eyes are curious and you shrug. “Jun kept me company and of course Joshua & I had pleasant conversation whenever I would see him at the market. I mostly worked, it’s getting closer to autumn so I’ve had a lot of people to treat.” You muse as you tap your fingers against your chin. “I was surprised to find this as I was getting ready to sleep my first night on the ship.” He pulls out the picture of yourself you’d slipped into his pocket that day you’d said goodbye to him. Your face flushes with heat. “Well I see you’ve held onto it.” “Just like you’ve held onto mine.” He teases, pointing at his own picture tucked in your mirror.

As the afternoon winds on the desire to tell Vernon your true nature gnaws at you. You call his name softly and suck in a breath when his eyes meet yours. “I have to tell you something.” He raises his brows and offers you a look you can’t quite decipher. “Okay.” You move to sit next to him and take his hands in yours. “You remember that day you met me at the museum? And I was sitting in front of those wings with the gardenias, the yellow green ones?” He nods in response to your questions, not wanting to interrupt. “Those wings,” you pause collecting yourself, “they belonged to someone I knew. Someone who took care of me and loved me, my mother.” Your voice is shaky as you finish and your admission feels like a punch to the gut. Suddenly Vernon is overcome with a feeling of dread. “You mean- All this time-” He struggles to make a complete sentence but after a bit of silence he finally says; “Joshua’s grandma did that to your mom?” There’s sadness and guilt swimming in his eyes, and you can barely bring yourself to speak so you just shake your head in confirmation, hot tears staining your cheeks.

“I had them too,” you rasp, “wings. But we couldn’t have them anymore because people like Joshua’s grandma still wanted them.” You stand, sliding your hands from his grasp, and turn your back to him. Slowly, surely, you slide your top over your head. Jun had healed your open wounds with the bit of healing magic he knew, so they were closed up. “So, we do this.” You can’t see Vernon, but you can imagine the disgust on his face. You tense when you feel his presence behind you, and shiver when he lays his head against your neck. “I’m sorry,” his voice is shaky, “I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this all alone.” His fingers brush the scarred skin delicately. “I’ll protect you.” His voice is more sure now and he presses a soft kiss to your nape. “I promise I’ll protect you.”

₊˚. notes: thank you for making it here if you did! there was a lot of imagery in this as im working on my writing style and tweaking things here or there but if you enjoyed let me know and if you hated it also let me know !! my ask box is open

#caratwritersclub #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen #vernon #vernon x reader #chwe hansol x reader #chwe vernon #seventeen x reader #bee.pollen #fic.#cwcfff

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whosxafraid · 6 years ago

Photo

holy christmas dudes....has it really been two years already? i mean i feel like it was yesterday i hesitantly made this blog without any real hope anyone would want to interact with this over sized old man but needing to make the blog anyway because the fecker wouldn’t be quiet---but here we are...and just damn.

ＧｉｖｅａｗａｙＧｕｉｄｅｌｉｎｅｓ：

Give away begins: now - 03/25/19 Give away ends : 6:00pm EST - 03/29/19

1. One like/re-blog per blog.

I get really turned around and easily confused so please make this easier on me and only either re-blog the post or like the post. But only do either one once.

2. Must be following Luka and be an RP blog in order to participate.

Please don’t just follow to participate in the giveaway, okay? I can’t control you following and then un-following but its super rude and just karma’s a bitch okay?

3. I need a week or so to get the prizes out after the giveaway ends.

Bare with me. I keep my promises it just takes me time.

4. Winners will be chosen using the random number generator. Keeps everything nice and fair :)

5. If you are a multi-muse and win, please be prepared to chose one of your muses for icons made.

6. If you win and your muse’s fc is not well known or has little screen time, please be prepared to help me out if I can’t find suitable resources on my own for graphics/icons/etc.

7. If you win and you have a favorite picture or resource(aka movie/episode/etc) in which your muse’s fc is portrayed please feel free to let me know!

8. If you win please be prepared to provide a primary color and/or scheme you would like the graphics/icons to have.

ＰＲＩＺＥＳ:

1st Place: 1 promo graphic, 1 set of Online/Offline/Lurking/Drafts banners, 25 [200x100] icons, psd and watermarked with your chosen letter(s).

2nd Place: 1 promo graphic and 25 [200x100] icons, psd and watermarked with your chosen letter(s). .

3rd Place: 1 promo graphic

ƓƠƠƊ ԼƲƇƘ!

follow forever beneath the cut

@brooklynislandgirl / @tarnishedhalo / @quothesquills

yes hi i love you always? lol thank you for being my partner is so many fictional crimes. for being a like minded cray like me but also constantly teaching me and bettering me as a person literally every day. i love how we can finish each other sentences sometimes, and are so alike and then completely different so we end up seeing more angles to things. you can put me in tears one second and then rip my soul out the next. i like u, ur a good. so ur kinda stuck with me. stay you cuz otherwise im gonna be feckin lost.

@morgansmornings

also yes hello is this thing on? I LOVE YOU. yer a fecking gem of a human being and while u may not need me too i will go to war with my bat swinging for u always. you make me laugh when i wanna cry and always are an ear when i need to vent. i love ur imagination and ur brain and i can not gush enough about how amazing ur muse is. its takes someone extraordinary to make someone extraordinary. and your muse is extraordinary. remember that if nothing else. besties always cuz im keeping u sorry not sorry.

@seanceisms / @umbrellakidstm / @wolventm / @scciopath

fucking beautiful human being you are okay. i love you always and i will follow you across any blog you ever make. and that sounded way less stalkerish in my head but whatever you get it. u can’t escape me LOL. always an ear and always a joy to talk to even when we’re doing nothing but trading pictures or headcanons or screaming about stupidity we find or murdering each other with feels.

@riggsanity

my dude ur a fecking treasure. ur humor is sharp and i love that. your amazing at your hobby and i love every reply i get from you. i love that we can have conversations that stretch over hours because we both get distracted or get busy but we always know where we’re at. ur fantastic and im blessed to have met you.

@mynameisanakin

there are too many inside jokes and not enough time to list them all. this is a friendship that i fucking love and never wanna lose. ur unique and ur a fecking trip and i LOVE that about you. the sometimes brutal honesty is refreshing to say the least, and i can not word how much i love our thread and our future plots. stay golden like the sand in our Jamaican no fig capes. ;)

@the-blackest-spider

holy balls dude like how long have we known each other at this point? i cant even remember. all i know is i love u and i know we dont talk as much as we used too but i love that we can pick up right where we left off when we do and there’s not a beat missed. ur brilliant and will always ALWAYS be ‘my natasha’.

@tabbyrp and @corinnebaileyrp

you two are gifts okay. always have something kind to say to me. always checking on me when my ooc posts get a little weird and sideways. (more than usual anyway). i love both of you and i love our plots and threads. every single one. -throws cookies at both with exuberance-

@thor-theavengergod

one of my closest dudes.i miss ur thor so much. but im glad we can stay connected on discord. ur artwork is GLORIOUS and always a joy to see pop up on my dash. you’re always an ear and never afraid to say what you think. and that’s really rare in this day and age. Keep being amazing my dude. u shine and it shows!

@bettershotthanbucky | @edithbarton / @hitslikeatruck / @mutatiiions

okay but like world of an au and plot we built i love it. you dudes are fucking beautiful and will always be my bartons(and wolverine/Piotr/and the rest). always. we dont always talk or are in each others day to day but when we do it’s always a riot. you guys are my dudes, dudes. never ever ever ever forget that. i’ll always be here for u dudes. whenever u need me and i know u’ll be the same for me cuz that’s just how ride or die dudes roll. -all the hugs-

@daggermxchanic

man let me talk about how fucking great it is to get to write luka with someone close to where he’s from even if it’s not the same time frame. Its amazing. I love your muse and i love the oppertunities he gives me to explore other facets of luka. Two grumpy old men never gets old and i LOVE ALL OF IT. ur a fucking amazing and don’t let no body tell u different my dude. ur classic.

@deathisachoice

okay we interact more on my pirate blog but fuck it i do what i want. im so glad u were able to finish ur thesis. im glad its behind u and that weight has been lifted. im super excited to get to talk to u more again and make awesome plots for our pirates (and maybe here too). either way ur writing is amazing and so are u. always a joy to talk to and write with!!

@ruthlessmeans / @mockeryofreason

okay but i love u alot. and i wish i could bat away all the bad that’s been happening as of late. just teach it a lesson so it fucks off permanently. but as i cant all i can do is offer cookies and remind u ur loved. i admire the decidcation that u have to ur muses. i love how u think through every angle and facet of them. that speaks volumes about u as a person. keep ur chin up my dude. ur silver lining is coming.

@canadianclaws

not so much rp’ing anymore but we stay in touch over discord and u literally NEVER fail to make me laugh even when i don’t want too or i’m feeling like something four days dead. i absolutely adore u and our friendship and i love that we can just drop funny fucking shit in our chat at random hours on any given day and its no big ya know? JUST LOVE U A LOT -tackle squishes-

@cochetsharpshooter

one of my best dudes and a fucking peach too boot. always uplifting and always the best gifs. years of jokes lbr and no enough angst and time in the day to write it all every probably. u are my bucky, always and forever. never lose ur wonder and ur drive my dude. ur inspiring. truly.

@ronmanmob

a gift with words right here. dedication to your muse on a level i’ve never seen. its phenomenal. always good vibes to talk to, always up beat. its honestly wonderful that we’re mutuals. always love reading your rps and ur blog is general is epic. keep it up. ur a gem.

@noprodigalson

life has gotten busy for u. taken u in different directions and that’s just something that happens. that’s life. but getting to see u pop up on my dash now and then. little updates and fashion drops it warms me up. ur style sense is amazing and so is ur hair. (yes i still want those pants). ur a beautiful human and hopefully life will let u get back to ur hobby here real soon. all my love my dude!

To all my of my followers:

you all brilliant lights in the world, in your own ways. Never, ever, EVER forget that. you are amazing. you are all special. to me and the other people in your lives that mean the most. stay frosty. and KEEP WRITING. ALWAYS KEEP WRITING. NO MATTER WHAT. NO MATTER THE TRIALS. KEEP WRITING!! because remember there was a time when the world thought Van Gogh wasn’t worth anything at all and now he’s a house hold name even little kids know who he is.

BE BRAVE

BE CREATIVE

BE YOU NO MATTER WHAT

-Crow

#[its just amazing really. i had to triple check the creation date of this blog and just DAMN]#[thank u to all of u that constantly put up with my slowness and general cray on the day to day]#[love u all]#[two year anniversary]#Out Of Fecks || OOC #Wolves Do Not Lose Sleep Over The Opinions Of Sheep || Que

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ravenvsfox · 7 years ago

Note

hey girl r u still working on part 3 of the trc/tfc crossover? please don't feel pressured by this ask omg im just popping in after reading part 1 & 2 again and telling u how much i luv it! have a nice day x

(love you, love your patience, you deserve 100 gold doubloons, but I hope this part 3 will do in the meantime)

The maserati peels through the deep-water evening, the cabin of the car black and still as the restless back of a movie theatre. The radio’s switched off and Nicky and Aaron were clipped quiet after the third time Nicky tried to wrestle Andrew into a conversation about superheroes. Neil watches Andrew’s profile in the domino light from passing headlights, the complex green glow from the dashboard. They’re caught in that ear-ringing kind of silence that feels like it’s submerged underwater.

A cat-eyed BMW changes lanes without signalling, and Neil watches it pull close into their side on the divided highway. He knows that the maserati is powerful, a sleek black tank, but the BMW would rob them and leave them on the side of the road if the driver wanted a race.

And he can tell that Ronan very much does want one; the way he’s sawing the car up from the speed limit to Andrew’s version of the speed limit to something that doesn’t look like a limit at all.

Neil recognizes the feeling of a car chase rubbing up against the side of the car and leering until you speed just to get away from it.

They stay in uncomfortable stasis, two sides of a jammed zipper, ripping down the road as one shiny dark monster. Five minutes pass and the BMW takes a slick lead, revving tauntingly as it shifts gears and pops into their lane. Andrew takes one lazy hand off the wheel and hands Neil his phone from the cupholder.

“Call Adam,” he asks. He puts his hand back on the underside of the wheel, driving with a thumb. “Remind him what following is.”

Neil stares dumbly at the phone in his hand, and abruptly it rings at him, the shrill bleat of the default tone.

“Unavailable name and number,” Neil reports. Andrew nods once, and Neil flips the phone open and presses it to his ear.

“Sorry that Ronan doesn’t know how to drive,” a woman’s voice says. There’s a muffled scratch of fabric and a laugh and then, “And sorry I invited myself along. I heard that Ronan and Adam were being tested gladiator style, is that right?”

Neil raises an eyebrow, and Andrew looks at him, away from the road and the Virginia license plate eating its way out of view.

“Who is this?”

“Christ. Blue. Obviously. So are you hazing them or what?”

“She wants to know if we’re hazing her teammates,” Neil murmurs, not bothering to cover the mouthpiece.

“She?” Nicky asks, leaning forward heavily, to the limits of his seatbelt.

“Blue,” Neil responds.

“Yes?” Blue says.

Neil frowns, uncomfortable with the whole misshapen misunderstanding. “We don’t haze people.” It’s so juvenile and absurd that he almost doesn’t recognize the words in his own mouth.

“Yeah! We’re not the lacrosse team, thank god,” Nicky chimes in, craning further over Neil’s shoulder.

“She’s with them?” Andrew asks. A nod. An almost imperceptible tightening of knuckles. “Ask for Adam.”

Blue continues, “Well I’d like to know why the rest of us were left out of whatever you’re doing, then. Doesn’t seem like great team-building to start segregating early.”

“Can you put Adam on the phone?” Neil asks, and Blue makes a small, affronted noise.

“I asked you a question,” she says evenly.

“You stated two facts,” he corrects. “I asked you a question.” He knows there’s no emotional headroom in anything he’s saying. He’s only half invested in the direction that this evening is going, but he knows that Andrew should be navigating this conversation, moving his own chess pieces.

The line shifts, but it’s still Blue ten seconds later, and she says, “It seems to me that luring two out of five of us out of the city in our first week doesn’t play like a friendly gesture. I don’t know if you’re picking favourites or least favourites, but I can guess. I know you want to speak to Adam, and I’ll put him on the phone, but I want you to know that we’re all worth speaking to. We’re all foxes, now.”

A jostle over the receiver, a look between Neil and Nicky, and then a longer, heavier look between Neil and Andrew. Something about this gaze is hard to carry.

“I didn’t realize that invites were only distributable by Andrew,” Adam says coolly.

“Adam,” Neil says, for Andrew’s benefit.

“Neil,” Adam returns. “Is this going to be a problem?”

“Your inability to listen? Probably.”

Adam doesn’t say anything, and Neil can hear Ronan asking questions, agitated, just beyond the sound of Adam’s breath.

“You invited me and Ronan. You didn’t ban Blue.”

“Tell them,” Andrew says, eyes forward, “to get behind us.”

Neil repeats this message down the line, and Adam snorts. The gait of the BMW in front of them skips even faster.

“Ronan doesn’t follow very well.”

“Then he shouldn’t be on our team,” Neil says tightly. There’s a pause that kicks and punches, and then Adam says,

“I have to say that you don’t lead very well, either. Maybe we’d do better under a more competent guide.”

“It wouldn’t be hard to do better than whatever it is you’re trying to do on court.”

Behind him, Nicky hisses like he’s been pinched. “Geez. Making friends, Neil?”

“Maybe not,” Adam says. “Better is attainable for us, but I’m not so sure about your vice-captaincy. I really don’t think you know how to command attention without hurting people.”

Neil goes hot. He’d forgotten how slippery humiliation feels, like a live thing on his skin.

“We’ll see you at Eden’s Twilight. Don’t worry about trying to catch up,” Adam adds, and hangs up. Neil leaves the phone at his ear, momentarily treading in his own surprise. He sees a slip of movement, and then Andrew’s hand is palm up between them.

He snaps the phone closed and drops it in Andrew’s waiting hand, mechanical.

“They’re meeting us there.”

“After that conversation?” Aaron asks. “They’re masochists.”

“That’s not what I asked for,” Andrew says, ignoring his brother, and Neil shrugs. He knows Andrew wants the whole production of a night in Columbia. He wants the string of teammates trailing out of his pocket, he wants the free entry and the parking pass, the psychological knife to the secretive neck, he wants control between his teeth.

“Well this is going to be a fun night out,” Nicky says sarcastically. “We’re not actually planning on drugging all three of them, are we?”

“No,” Neil says immediately, and Andrew says, mild,

“They’ll drink whatever we give them until we know why they need a dead language to keep their secrets.”

“Andrew—” Neil says, but Andrew turns needle eyes on him.

“I will do worse,” he says, his words chopped and peeled open. “If he tries you again.”

He doesn’t respond. Andrew’s been sitting in the middle of hot, repressed feeling since Ronan punched Neil. His regret has been blistering enough that it’s making Neil wilt next to him.

He’s just worried that these new ravens will try to pry open their closed ranks. He’s worried that the next piece of violence will graze Andrew. The rubbed-raw tension over the phone is syncing with the old feeling of anxiety from his first trip to Columbia.

He swallows around nausea and watches the bend in the road thread their car into the city limits.

_____

They don’t really stand out, but their faces give them away when they turn fretfully in the swaying crowd at the bar, closed and uncomfortable where everyone else is playing happy or sexy.

Neil can see the instability in Ronan’s scowl, the way the joints of it tighten when he scans the room, and loosen when he looks back at his friends. Adam is aloof and unthreatening in a pale crop-sleeved collared shirt, but his eyes are a landslide. Blue’s mouth opens — apparently pleased with the slide of lights and the dancers drenched in glitter — and closes when men look at her.

Andrew prowls into the kernel of the crowd encircling Roland. If they were alone, Neil would put his hands to the soft hair at the base of Andrew’s skull and press into the weak points until his shoulders slumped.

He can see Nicky waving at the ravens from the corner of his eye, and annoyance sinks its teeth into something in Neil’s brain when Blue waves back.

“Do you have to be so welcoming?” he asks bitterly. Nicky sighs, but touches his shoulder briefly, like he’s trying to be comforting.

“They’re called social niceties, and I’m setting an example for you.” He looks pointedly at Neil, then shoulders ahead to reach the trio before the rest of the group. He whispers to them, hurried and earnest, a bleeding heart soldier rushing into enemy territory to warn them of a coming attack.

Neil frowns. Ronan’s sizing them up, something limply threatening about his stance but truly unsettling about his eyes. It’s familiar, the expression that says he only recently found something to lose.

“Ah, friends, cousins, foxes. Good to see you,” Roland says, voice raised over the music. Nicky leans over the bar and air-kisses both of Roland’s cheeks, going for serious and suave and cracking up instead.

“It’s that time of year again,” Nicky tells him. Andrew gestures at the three newcomers and tilts his head at the bar. Roland winks.

“Finally, a challenge.” His eyes slide over the new recruits. “You three good to keep up?” Ronan snorts, and Roland smiles warmly at him. “Oh, this one’s confident. And cute.” His eyes slide over to Adam. “And this one! What exactly are your recruitment requirements again?”

“Get the ball, be angry about it,” Blue supplies, drumming chipped purple nails on the bar. Roland smiles wider. He’s pouring shots now, liquor tripping between glasses, one after another until Neil’s head pounds looking at them.

“Must be all that brooding athleticism that gives you your glow,” he jokes, pouring mix into a tumbler with one hand and rummaging for limes with the other. “Hey, if you guys are looking for a private interrogation corner, there’s the table farthest from the dance floor.” He nods in its direction, and Andrew turns immediately for it, parting the crowd, leaving an unborn fight behind him.

Neil festers in the way Ronan and Adam look at Andrew leaving and then at each other, like they know anything about him. He turns and follows Andrew after a beat, unable to stomach it. Everything about this fight is uncanny and unpleasant, wrapped up in privilege and misunderstanding and enemies that look too much like reflections. He prefers villains who know that they’re villains.

Andrew looks at him, eyes slitted gold.

“I don’t like this,” Neil admits. Andrew waits for an explanation and Neil struggles to find one. “I don’t like feeling like we’re starting from scratch with five fresh problems.”

“I would’ve thought you’d be comfortable with waves of problems given that you are one.”

Neil purses his lips, hikes himself up onto the tall chair, and indulges him. “But I was the only one.” Andrew’s hand curls on the table top. “And I know this bothers you as well, Andrew, you’re not hiding it very well.”

“I’m not trying to.”

“No, you never try, do you,” Neil says, and feels righteous anger balloon at the same time that shame crawls down through his body. It leaves him off kilter, like one ear popped but the other is still dull. Andrew stares at him.

Truthfully, all Andrew ever does is try to affect indifference and keep all the lids on all his boxes and strategize the safety of others by becoming a more tempting target.

“That was such shit. I’m sorry. It was—“

“I think it’s Ronan,” Andrew interrupts, drawing idle circles on the table with his thumb. “He’s the secret that they’re keeping, the gun in Adam’s hand.” Neil blinks, chewing this information over.

But he doesn’t have time to swallow it, because the rest of the group is oozing into the seats around the table, Aaron with a comically over-full tray held aloft, Nicky laughing at something a crooked-smiled Blue has said, Adam calm, Ronan furious.

They drink, for a while, Andrew distributing the spiral of glasses in an unfathomable order. The conversation is shouted and confused as if spoken from two separate sides of a great wall. Ronan tosses whiskey down like he knows it and hates it, loping beside Nicky and Aaron, who drink in search of the upper limits of drunk.

Blue drinks with her eyebrow crooked and her mouth wet, always. She often looks like she’s remembering something that pricks.

Adam doesn’t drink at all.

Neil can see his hand on Ronan’s back and his eyes on Blue, and his gears change to do the opposite from minute to minute, transparently concerned with whatever the people around him are doing or planning or ignoring.

“You don’t drink?” he asks Adam carefully. Adam takes a sip of water and shakes his head.

“I’m driving.”

“You’ll stay at our house,” Andrew tells him, and Adam pauses before he shakes his head again.

“No, I don’t think we will.”

Andrew shrugs. “I disagree.”

Adam’s eyes bounce from Andrew to Nicky, then Aaron, searching for an explanation.

“We don’t do whatever you say,” Ronan says. “We actually have opinions of our own, you know, strength of will? That thing that doesn’t exist in your company?” He looks at Andrew, then meaningfully to Neil.

“Hey,” Nicky warns. “If you think Neil isn’t opinionated, then I don’t know what sports channel you’ve been watching.”

“Have a drink,” Andrew says, ignoring everyone but Adam, pushing a sweating glass towards him. “It’s tradition.”

“We’re not big on tradition,” Blue says, suspicious and slow.

“Neither are we,” Nicky says quickly. “But we have our moments. We’re not going to hurt you, we just want to do something nice. After all the— uh. Not so nice.”

“One drink,” Adam agrees cautiously. He pushes the proffered glass back towards Andrew with two fingers. “But I’ll pick my own.” He slips off of his chair, hand pulling from Ronan’s as he fades back through the crowd to the bar.

“Why are you pushing this so hard,” Ronan asks, face blank for the first time all evening, looking out into the waves of people like Adam is a single ship on a flat horizon. Neil can see Andrew raising his chin at Roland, and something in his chest fizzles.

“We’re making peace—“ Nicky starts.

“No,” Ronan says. “I think you want something from us, and the only way you know how to get it is to get us fucked up first.”

“Wouldn’t it be counterproductive,” Andrew says, “to be drinking, ourselves?”

“He’s only on his first glass,” Ronan nods to Neil, then pins Andrew with chilly eyes.“And I think you can hold your liquor.”

“How generous,” Andrew says. Blue makes a small, irritated noise.

“Can we stop antagonizing one another, please, I’m getting a headache.”

“You wanted to come along, dude,” Ronan tells her.

“Yes, wanted,” Blue agrees. “Before I realized that we were gearing up to the world’s most violent pissing contest.”

“We’ll play nice if you do,” Nicky offers, going to throw an arm around her shoulders that she blocks.

“That’s not how you win,” Neil says.

“There’s no winning in polite conversation, Neil, buddy.”

The whole table shoves suddenly sideways, glasses skittering and liquor spilling in thick rivulets over laps and down to the sticky floor. Adam catches himself heavily on Ronan’s thigh.

“You’re— have— the bartender? You fucking—“

“Adam,” Ronan says, soft and urgent as hummingbird wings. He cups Adam’s face, but Adam’s so off balance that Ronan’s hands end up being the only things holding him up. Adam shakes his head in his grip, touching his own mouth, then Ronan’s, eyes blurry and scared.

“Don’t drink anything.” His eyes crash into Blue next. “Don’t drink,” he repeats.

“Did you—“ Ronan stops, mouth moving, too incredulous to swallow properly. “You drugged him?”

Andrew doesn’t respond, so Ronan kicks the table over directly into him — it hits his abdomen heavily and rolls off to the side. Andrew goes down with it.

“Oh fuck,” Nicky says, standing shakily out of the way. Something moves next to Neil, fast, and he thinks distractedly that it’s his patience rotting and dropping from the tree. He steps into the fray, reeling back to punch Ronan in the face twice in quick succession, hard enough to split the skin at his knuckles. Blue grapples with his elbow as he does it, cursing, biting, until Neil falls back far enough that she can drag her friends out of his reach.

The last thing Neil sees before he drops down to check on Andrew is Ronan holding Adam up by the waist, eyes cracked open, thunderous.

“Drew,” Neil says quietly. He knows his face is tightly pulled, a mask with the strings cutting his circulation. “What’s the plan here?”

Andrew’s obviously winded when he says, “show them—” a stuck breath, “—that we’re the same kind of monsters that they are.”

“What?”

“Um. Neil,” Nicky says.

Neil looks up. He realizes first that Aaron has disappeared, and second, that he was the only other person who sprang forward when Andrew was downed.

“Fuck,” Neil says. He stands, trying to pinpoint the familiar gleam of blond, the fast, blocky movements that he shares with Andrew.

He sees Ronan first, inspecting Adam’s eyes in the real light from the propped men’s room door. Blue seems to be acting as lookout, and the minute Aaron storms into their space, she holds a folded switchblade up at him. It’s like half of a threat, more confusing than frightening.

Neil starts pushing towards them, but he can see Aaron dodging Blue and taking Ronan to the wall, hard.

“Aaron,” he calls, when he sees hands go to Ronan’s throat. “We still need them.”

“For what?” Aaron snarls. “To make an example out of them? To keep stringing them along until they lash out harder, draw blood?”

“To use,” Neil says. “And train.”

Aaron looks back at him, wild-eyed, and Ronan twists out of his grip, holding Aaron’s wrists at odd angles. Neil sighs and yanks him out of reach, putting a warning hand up between them.

“No fucking chance,” Ronan says. He looks at Adam and his jaw clenches. “We’re out. We don’t need to be here, we’re not like you.”

“You are,” Neil argues, looking at Ronan with his issues seeping through the ill-fitting bandage of his bravado, Adam with his brow furrowed against the drugs, Blue with her jaw jutted like Allison and her hair cropped like Dan and her hands steady like Renee. “That’s why you’re here.”

“So now you wanna be friends?” Blue asks, disbelieving. “Did you finally realize we were human beings?”

“I don’t care about being your friend,” Neil says honestly. “You need to realize that friendship and teamwork are different.”

“You can’t threaten us into a corner and then act like you taught us a valuable lesson by putting us there,” Blue says. Neil wonders if she knows that she’s placing herself just a little bit forward, her hands creeping out in front of her friends.

“Threaten implies that it was one sided,” Andrew says, slotting himself in between Aaron and Neil. Nicky falls in behind, sheepish.

“You— you had the bartender make sure I wasn’t a threat at all,” Adam struggles to say.

Andrew looks unimpressed. “And?”

“And there’s a difference between fighting to win, and fighting because it feels good to break your fists,” Ronan says. He juts his jaw like someone who was raised in the gym, not the streets.

“Is there?” Neil asks, moving forward, feeling Andrew’s presence at his back like a lighter catching. “Fighting is always fighting, no matter what you get at the end. I can’t tell if you really think you’re helpless victims or if you want moral high ground so badly that you’re climbing your own shitty ladder to get there, but if you’re this concerned with winning, then we can use you. Can you use us?”

Blue and Adam look at each other, a lopsided glance. Ronan’s gaze is unwavering.

“We can,” Adam urges. “There— I. Know. The sort of people who never fight. For themselves. And I don’t want to be… near them anymore.”

The column of Ronan’s throat moves, and the corners of his eyes go tight. “They took away your self control and acted like it was a fucking favour.”

“It’s not the same,” Adam says quietly, swaying on his feet but otherwise looking remarkably sober. They’re putting hands to an ugly memory that no one else can see.

Neil looks back at Andrew and then squares his shoulders, bolstered by the clear day he finds in his face.

“They’re a nightmare,” Ronan says, with finality.

“Funny. Do you know what’s in our nightmares?” Nicky asks, too plainly to be a joke.

“Ravens,” Neil finishes for him.

Ronan flinches, a pale twitch of a thing. Ravens mean something very different to him, but Neil’s not entirely sure that it’s a good thing. His eyes linger on Adam leaning against the wall, his face grim, damp with sweat, and smiling so slightly. Blue nods cautiously.

“I’m not a big fan of ravens either,” she says conspiratorially.

“Bullshit,” Ronan says, but his tone is lifting like hoisted blinds.

“Let us— let us—” Adam breathes hard. “We prioritize. I know you want us to be a team. But if my family’s a part of that team, then I cover them first. I fight for them first.”

“Now you’re speaking Andrew’s language,” Nicky grins. “We look after our own.”

Andrew doesn’t interject, and Neil knows then that this whole evening was engineered to fail. He stares at the side of Andrew’s face, the indifferent slope of his profile. The more you defend yourselves, the more you expose the things that matter.

“Okay,” Ronan says. “This has been fucked up. We’re going back to the dorm.” He doesn’t say ‘home’, but in a way that makes the absence of it is heavy. Neil bows his head.

“You can actually stay at our place, if you’re not sober,” Nicky suggests. “Kevin’s not around, so you can share his room.” He starts gesturing people towards the exit, pushing them around without pushing them around. It’s a strange, twitchy skill of his, walking and talking with such confidence that people feel compelled to catch up.

“Why do you have a place in Columbia?” Blue asks curiously, falling in awkward step with the gangly group of them, tense and angry in truce, too many of them to stay together in the throng.

“Why does Gansey have a villa in Spain?” Andrew replies. Neil’s mouth curls. He always knows too much, in a bored sort of way.

Adam scoffs, then frowns at his own reaction. Neil can tell that he’s exactly as undone as Andrew wanted, sloppy enough that his suppression is loose and imperfect.

“Are you also obscenely rich?” Blue asks drily. “Because that’s why Gansey has most things.”

Nicky scoffs, Aaron says something mean and true, and the weight of the conversation finally finds its way onto wheels and rolls itself out of the club. Roland waves as they go, and Ronan flips him off viciously.

“You can stop waiting for us to fail,” Ronan tells Neil as they totter out into the parking lot, sweat and adrenaline drying, leaving alcohol to warm and wobble them over uneven pavement. “We’ve survived worse than college Exy.”

“So have I,” Neil says. “And I still feel like I’m failing, constantly. Confidence is dangerous.”

Ronan looks at the ground. Neil can hear his jaw working, see his hand jumping to twist his wristbands. Neil’s hand goes to his own armband, instinctive.

“Thanks for—ditching the lying bullshit, at least,” Ronan says through his teeth. He looks ahead, to Aaron watching Andrew for pain, to Adam strung up between Blue and Nicky. “Lying slows people down.”

Neil almost smiles. “So do secrets.” Ronan’s shoulders tense, and Neil rolls his neck, lazy, the maserati hoving into view up ahead. “Ronan.”

Ronan turns eyes on him, low-intensity, idling.

“I’ll trade you,” Neil offers. “Truth for truth.”

Part One Part Two

#fuck i know there are mistakes but i can't physically look at it any longer here have it! put it in your brain!#aftg #the foxhole court #the raven cycle #andreil #pynch #crossover #tfc fanfic #trc #mine #Anonymous #ask

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jensungf · 4 years ago

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(1/?) okayy so this is gonna be a long one as I was just informed that the reveal is tomorrow as I forgot what day it was - quarantine has really ruined my perception of time 😳(this is also why you turn on notifs for the main page eek!) We usually bake separately because we'd argue over how to do it otherwise... my french is limited to telling you that i'm listening to music in the bakery or my weekend plans, useful in some cases and complete nonsense in others... (🍉)

o(2/3) It would be so nice if they could rest, they deserve it, but also selfishly i'm kind of excited 👉👈I think it could be any unit, they're really confusing us, also this thought came to me but might be impossible, do we think Hendery dyed his hair just for bad alive or maybe... its a bit far fetched but... a U unit? I'm wishful thinking at this point. Ok so I had a look at the main page because I'm a bit of an idiot and hadn't checked for tasks, but I have some questions for you 👀 (🍉)

(3/3) What was your favourite hairstyle in 7th sense era and what is your favourite NCT hairstyle since? rank your top three Kpop songs, and why? what about your bias makes you happy? and finally if you could have one wish, what would you wish with that one wish? - sorry this is so rushed my perception of time and space have completely gone out the window (but i'm excited for the big reveal tomorrow 👀I am not sure how you'll react) - 🍉

omg ima respond under the tag SORRY IM SO LATE I JUST GOT ON DESKTOP

dont worry bub bc tbh I HAD NO IDEA THAT THE REVEAL WAS TMRW HAHAHA so ty for telling me (and same!!! omg dont worry i cant believe its alr august hhh ଯ( ॢᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ॢഒ ) and omg that sounds like smth that would happen w me and my sis HAHA except i dont allow them in the kitchen or else theyll fr burn everything down (the feel when theyre like 10) but nonetheless thats so cute! and ur french is still interesting nonetheless liek having teh ability to even comprehend another lang in the slightest is a major feat and sometimes i surprise myself when i understand like slivers of spanish so dw bub! its all just for u <3

omg bub ur not being selfish at all bc ur still supporting them but unfortunately rest is not a word that sm can read e.e but its good to be excited! i am as well!! and omg yeah its so confusing i lich rally have no idea what to expect so in order to ease my anticipation ive decided not to expect anything at all HAHAHAH but omg.. nct u w hendery? thats unheard of but u never know!! and asdfghjkl i feel like a debbie downer for bringing this up but i feel so bad that sm sort of forced him to dye his hair blonde :((( like they asked but he didnt seem too happy when he said he dyed his hair ugh but wtv sm is booty wbk lets just appreciate how good he looks!! and OMG NO ITS OKAY i think the tasks are optional bc tbh i havent checked the main page and done any of them either! its okay bub dont worry!!

i honestly... umm... dont remember the 7th sense era LOLLL lemme google it rq — ok ima be so honest rn. i looked and i dont like any of them 😭😭😭 ITS OKAY THO CUS THEYRE ALL KINGS!

my fav nct hairstyle... i honestly have to give it to jaemin like i CANNOT get over how fkn good he looked with long blonde hair and the blue bangs in boom. thats my fav look on him hands down and im in love w that style!!

my top 3 kpop songs,, honestly the ones that came to my head were my boy - secret, moonlight - got7, and love is not over - bts, which is funny cus i never rly talk ab these songs but theyre soooo good idk i can listen to them on repeat.

okay so ima talk ab both jeno and jisung hehe so jeno!! honestly i just love him bc hes so fkn talented and hardworking but also his presence is so calming and just how much he rly cares and thinks ab the ppl around him. like hes funny in his own way but the way how he said once when he filled out this questionnaire thingy that he’d prefer to follow than lead, but now all of the members look to him as the unofficial leader. he comforts them all whenever they need sum and check up on them and he took initiative even tho it was difficult for him and there are things that he sets goals to improve in and he does so well bc he works so hard. like he wasnt comfy talking but hes literally a spokesperson and well-known emcee now and he tries his best! and not only that but also how hes very talented in everything and how soft and caring his personality is. not to mention his duality. i could go on forever but if u read all of this, ily 🥺

for jisung, he makes me happy bc of how he interacts with everyone! like hes so young but hes super talented and still super humble and just seeing him be a kid makes me forget about my worries and it reminds me to just let myself be sometimes cus yk he had to grow up rly quickly and his success came from hard work and it makes me happy to know he got what he deserved!

and if i had one wish.. ig this is cliche but i truly wish for world peace. like the peace of mind for everyone in the world bc we all deserve to be happy and altho the future seems obsolete, we all need a sliver of happiness and hope to make life worth living

AND PLEASE BUB DONT WORRY AT ALL ABOUT ANYTHING i cannot wait until tmrw and i dont mind that this is rushed!!!! <333 i appreciate u sm and i seriously cant wait until the reveal! <3 im so lucky to have u as my anon ur the sweetest! also pls feel free to answer all the questions u just asked me bc id love to know!!!!!!

#secret admirer💌#leyna.asks #🍉 anon

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dreamerology · 7 years ago

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my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!

no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them

i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???

fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm

what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts

can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!

chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!

mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!

i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!

on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.

anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!

#dont feel like u gotta read this im just yelling 2 the void djkfhsjdhf #its rly long nd a lot of text but i wanted 2 write something nd it got sorta out of hand #i say 2k later kdjhfsjhfkjsd #long post /#IM SO SORRY IF UR ON MOBILE AND THE READ MORE DOESNT WORK #lu.txt #for those who are wondering why its real ass emobebe hours its bc its my 1 year stanning mx and im a Giant Sap #now im gonna shut up and not talk for the rest of the year ://

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jj-ktae · 8 years ago

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Romanticised

Title : Romanticised

Author : Myself

Pairing : Im Jaebum x You (reader)

Summary : He had planned everything for both of them, including a newly born romantic side.

“All set?”

“Yeah, I have the wine bottle.”

It was hard to see where you were both going, but the firm grip on your hand was like a guide in a secret forest, full of fantasy.

The summer had granted both of you a cool evening, with a soft breeze and no sweat. You were grateful to be able to go out without melting like snow and your boyfriend was slowly walking toward the secret place he had told you about. This date was a total surprise and you could almost see the happiness paint itself on your significant other’s face, signalling he was enjoying your little adventure.

“Are you sure we’re not going to get lost?” You inquired, glancing awkwardly at the tall palm trees and flowers blocking the view.

“Of course not, I’ve been there already.” Your boyfriend walked faster and jumped a tall step, turning around to reach out to you.

“Come on, I’ll catch you babe.” He said and you kneeled down, ready to fly in his arm like a small sparrow reaching for its mum. You landed safely in the comfort of his chest and he took the opportunity to brush his nose against yours, smirking.

“Are you happy?” the question felt surreal, coming from him.

“Of course, Jaebum. Why are you asking?” You questioned, not getting the sudden need for sappiness.

Jaebum wasn’t the kind of guy who could pull of such romantic skills, let alone mushy phrases under the moonlight. He was more of a smooth operator, juggling with sensual and serious, then mixed with desire. In short, Jaebum was a typical jazz song, not pressing and dictating, but guiding and suggestive. His deep velvety voice could whisper the sweetest things, but also the dirtiest words with the same tone, unwavering.

You often found yourself evaporating under his hungry eyes and plump lips every time he’d whisper the things he’d do to you. He wasn’t usually doing this to make sure you were okay with it, but for you to know how deep his envy was. You had no words to say in how your flesh was belonging to this person who was suddenly smiling at you like a schoolboy.

“I’m happy. I feel like I’m not saying it enough. You know it, right?” You parted from him and met an insecure face you knew too little.

“Well, I am happy.” You concluded and he acquiesced, knowing you were just like him when it came to sappy and sugary moments. “Hurry up.” He said and readjusted the backpack containing all the things you needed to spend a quiet moment together.

When he had asked you if you were free for the week-end, you were surprised, because Im Jaebum was never free during the week-ends. He’d always have some errands to do. Write a song, compose, rehearse, sleep, eat, anything that would only leave a couple of hours for you two. You were not complaining though, because he had made sure that you were aware of what cruise you were boarding on when you agreed on dating him.

It wasn’t as close as to be called a cruise anyway, but more of a solitary journey, but the short moments spent together were enough to offset whatever lonely feeling you once had.

Jaebum was delicate enough to read you without asking too many questions anyway. He was the quiet type, and while you were more of a communicative human being, he was into searching answers with his eyes and body, not leaving room for yelling.

He could yell too, though, and it was rare but electric, like a slap in the face without a warning.

To sum up, your boyfriend was the definition of simple, with a hint of impulsivity and no time for frivolity.

Living the moment was his motto, a saying you heard so many times you could see it painted all over his delicate features.

He stopped you in your thoughts by letting go of your hand, showing the place surrounding you.

It was a small cove, with a wooden shed. The color had faded with time and an abandoned surfboard was lying next to it, damaged by erosion and sea wind. The place looked raw and small bushes were peeking around patches of sand, reminding of its initial owner.

“Do you like it?” he asked, putting the backpack between you too and opening it.

“It’s...so pretty...” It was truly wonderful. Soft waves were lulling the place, surrounding them in a thin layer of peace and serenity.

Jaebum was busy with the huge beach towel, and he placed it neatly in front of the sea, seating. He looked up to you, patting the spot next to him.

“I only came once here, with the boys. I thought it could be good to show you. It’s heaven.” He said, taking out the bottle of wine and two boxes full of snacks.

You took this moment to lay down, the fluffy material of the towel soft like feathers around your heated body.

“Shall we swim first or...?” Your boyfriend’s voice made you jump out of your reverie and you sat up straight, eyes panicked.

“I didn’t bring my swimsuit, Jaebum.” The boy had kept the place secret, not giving any hints.

“...and?” he asked as if he had never heard such a stupid question. Your mouth took the shape of a small coin and you saw his very one turning into a huge smile.

“I didn’t bring one either anyways.” He stated, already taking off his large tee-shirt.

So this is where he was going. You were not that surprised anyway, because coming from Jaebum, it was like a simple cuddle on a Sunday morning.

Except it involved two naked body in a public place, no matter how deserted.

“I don’t think we should...I could keep my...” You tried, because who knew, who knew what could happen? If another person was to pass by you’d die of embarrassment.

“Your clothes are gonna take forever to dry, babe.” He answered and finished opening the wine bottle, handing it for you to taste.

You took a sip; aware it wasn’t the best way to appreciate wine and continued “But we can’t go naked!”

Jaebum’s deep laugh made you roll your eyes “Why not? The place’s empty. Get up!” he took the bottle and drank rapidly before settling it against a small rock behind you two.

A second later, his short and boxer were on the floor, and his body was greeted by the wind and exposed for all to see, included your stunned eyes.

“You’re crazy.” You breathed and saw him walk toward the shore, his toned butt dancing with every step and increasing an unintentional blush across your cheeks.

“Come on! The water’s great!” His feet kicked the small waves, splashing water and he continued walking in, his body slowly disappearing into the dark depths of the sea.

You looked around once more and slowly took off your tank top, while Jaebum started swimming, his hair slicked back by water. You made a face and quickly took off your short and underwear, almost running to the water and toward a laughing Jaebum.

“You’re going to fall, babe.” He stated when he heard you swear, your body disappearing in your turn and leaving only your head out of the black swaying water.

“I can’t believe I’m naked in the middle of night. What if somebody steal our stuff?” Panicking was your style, and Jaebum knew it way too much to let himself fall into your mother-like frenzy behavior. You threw a glance to the abandoned squat and sighed, hoping that Jaebum wasn’t going nuts for good.

“Relax, nobody’s going to come...” You felt a body behind you, and soon enough, you were seated in the water, your feet into the sludge while Jaebum was hugging you from behind.

It felt soft under your toes, and his lap welcomed your bottom, making you sit on him like a child. The tip of his hair drew incoherent pattern on your skin when he started kissing your nape, arms locked around you like a rubber ring you didn’t need.

The calmness of the water was helping you both keeping some stance, and the soft waves were revealing your breast, hit by the wind and free of movement.

Jaebum looked like he noticed, because he started swimming deeper into the sea, your body upon his while his arms were guiding both of you to a way darker place. Your wet hair was cupping your face, strands wild and disheveled.

His mouth was close to your ear when the arms made you turn around to face him. Your feet weren’t touching the bottom but he was standing in front of you. He lifted both of your legs to make them circle around you and you felt all his hard glory brush against your most private parts, making you hiss and pulling a smile off his not so peaceful face.

You took it as a sign to cling on to him, keeping your body at the surface and he started rocking back and forth, your face nuzzled deep into his neck.

“How do you like it?” He asked and it made you wonder why on earth was he so keen on asking if you felt okay today. Not that he wasn’t that considerate usually, he was just less...blunt about it.

“I love it. You’re acting different, today.” You asked, aware that he wouldn’t be able to deny it.

“Yeah?” He asked, falsely surprised. His hands caressing your back started cupping your face and his eyes entered you like a laser into a dark room, shiny and sharp.

“Yeah. Don’t act surprised.” You mocked and he laughed, acquiescing.

“I thought about doing something different, that’s it.”

“And why is that?” You continued your teasing, because Jaebum was way too honest to hide anything anyways.

“I want to unveil all the sides of me.” He stated and your head tilted, puzzled. He took it as a sign to explain more.

“I want you to know every single thing about me. Until now, I had barely showed anything romantic. I want to give you everything, this included. This way you won’t get tired of me and my nasty personality.” He said and you we sure you saw a spark of insecurity in his eyes.

“There’s no way I’d get tired of such a great person.” He scoffed and walked toward the shore, supporting your body light like a ball of cotton in his large arms.

“There no such thing as forever if we don’t put in some individual efforts.” He added and you found yourself completely naked in his arms, like a toddler, in the middle of a deserted cove.

“Keeping the passion up tension?” He slowly crouched on the sand and laid down, your body over him like a soft silky sheet and he hummed.

“It’s not about passion. It’s about me being worthy of your love.” He said, pulling on your head to kiss your face.

“You’re being incredibly mushy, Im Jaebum.” His body was wet and slippery under yours and you planted your feet into the sand, creating contact with his body.

“Want me to stop then?” he asked and his lips met yours in a short kiss. Hands were cupping everywhere they could, kneading the cool flesh.

“I want you to do whatever you’re comfortable with.” You concluded and he smiled against you, tongue licking your mouth completely and taking you off guard.

“Then there’s something I’d be comfortable with, right now.” He said and you finally noticed how hard his body was.

“Here is the Jaebum I know.”

“Shut up and kiss me.” Came the whispered complaint.

The bottle of wine was long forgotten, just like the clothes around it when two bodies met, adding to the radiant heat overwhelming the already saturated air around them.

“I love you, babe.” Echoed in a long breath, short and halting against wet skin.

“Me too, Jae.”

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purplexdreams · 8 years ago

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IMPRESSIONS ON BTS (WINGS TOUR IN MANILA, 070617)

Just this recently, BTS held their 3rd concert in the Philippines, WINGS TOUR IN MANILA from May 6-7. For me, it was my second concert with them, and I gotta say, this concert made me feel all types of feels. Now, I have a bad case of PCD because I miss the boys so much :(((( I felt like getting it out of my system would be the best way, so I wrote a fanacc of my impressions on the members~

[LONG POST AHEAD]

EDIT: I found a much closer photo of Namjoon, so I replaced it^^ LOOK AT HIM ASDFJDKL

EDIT2: I’m not too familiar with PH slang these days, so I mistranslated Seokjin’s “gigil nyo si acoe.” I fixed it now~

DISCLAIMER: I CLAIM NO OWNERSHIP NOR RIGHTS TO THE PICTURES IN THIS POST. THEY ALL BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

KIM SEOKJIN- They weren’t kidding that his visuals were no joke. His face is really good looking, esp those beautiful lips! But gosh, he was so dorky and funny with all those kisses and hearts that makes any fangirl’s heart weak. I can’t even start when he was doing his ending ment when he suddenly forgets his lines!!! We chanted “KIM SEOKJIN” to cheer him up. He looks so flustered huhuhu. BUT HE MAKES UP FOR IT WITH A “GIGIL NIYO SI ACOE” (Filpino slang, roughly translated as I find [PH ARMYS] irresistably cute) AND WE ALL WENT WILD. It was so uncalled for and random and just funny!!!! JIN HAS THIS DORKY ATTRACTIVENESS THAT PULLS YOU IN. PLEASE (DO NOT) CONTROL THE OLDEST HYUNG.

Jin’s Awake was the most solemn performance. You could tell, from the way the crowd lessens their screams and cheers, the energy dying down just a tiny bit to make room for the ballad-y atmosphere. And Jin doesn’t disappoint. He sings the song well, hits the highnote with ease and I’m so so so proud of him~

KIM NAMJOON- To those of you who called Namjoon ugly, you better want to stop reading because my impression was far from that. I REPEAT: VERY FAR FROM UGLY. I am very much Namjoon-biased, and this statement will be biased as it gets: HE WAS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE BTS MEMBER (for me). His HEIGHT, LEADER AURA, HIS HAIR STYLE (AND COLOR! I LOVE IT RN), EYES, VOICE AND THOSE DIMPLES. I feel #blessed to see those dimples live. Every time he gets closer to our side of the arena, I can’t help but feel mesmerized with how beautiful he looks. Photos do him no justice. Namjoon, when in his zone, lets go and moves with an energy that keeps you hyped. He is soulful and kind. Our precious leader~

Rap Monster’s “Reflection” was the most aesthetically pleasing. His background was all blue, like the sea. The whale, as I saw it then and there, sort of represents loneliness (in ref. to Whalien 52). Namjoon has mentioned many times that he felt lonely in one of his fancafe posts and the song “Always” (just thinking about that song makes me want to hug Namjoon). But this was countered by ARMY’s chant of “saranghe!” and chants of his name. He is not alone, because we are here and we love him. I’m glad that nowadays, he seems optimistic. Thank you for being you, Namjoon~

*** I would like to add that I am in complete awe that he spoke in Filipino! He spoke those words with the correct pronunciation and I can’t even.

***I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HOW WE ALL CHANTED “IM SORRY BAE:” WITH NAMJOON IN CYPHER PT 4

MIN YOONGI- There were jokes going around that Suga, having stayed in the PH for about a week, should have a tan now. But he didn’t! His skin is as white as ever, and gosh, it compliments his dark hair so well. Yoongi has that face and aura that makes you think of cool, chic guy AND HE BREAKS AND MAKES THIS THEORY. He makes it when he passionately raps, and SPLASHES WATER TO THE CROWD DURING CYPHER PT. 4. HE IS LITERALLY FIRE AND THAT STAGE WAS SO LIT FAM. BUT he breaks it when he does the kaepchang pose in tagalog which was “MAGALING!” and his smile, oh his smile. His smile is like that of a boy, and indeed. Yoongi is a precious boy despite quote on quote, mature appearance.

First Love was one of the stages I was waiting for, for one reason: that song made me cry the first time I heard it. Yoongi’s love for the piano moved me so much. This boy was made to play it and shaped who he was today. I got teary eyed in this performance. When he ends it, his eyes search the arena, looking at us all. I wonder, how it must look like in his place. It was such a moving, beautiful stage of a boy who fell in love with the piano, and the people who fell in love with him~

JUNG HOSEOK- How do I even start? HE WAS LITERALLY THE SUN. Immediately, upon the opening ment, he was already wearing the smile, the kind of SMILE THAT REACHES HIS EYES. The moment I saw him, I fell in love. His aura was all happiness and fun and was just genuinely joyful to meet us. HOW DOES A MAN LIKE HIM EXIST? He looks really handsome (AGAIN TO THE PEOPLE WHO DONT LIKE HIS VISUALS, you obvs havent seen him in real life!!! he is as happy as he is in photos, only 100x with the added aura and hope) He was cute and adorable and handsome. But his soft appearance does not downgrade his dance skills. His style is passionate and intense, it leaves you wanting to see more.

(I FORGOT TO MENTION,.HE HAD *THOSE* GLASSES DURING CYPHER PT. 4 AND I SWERVED SO HARD I THINK I FOUND MY SECOND BIAS WRECKER)

MAMA was by far, the best stage for me. THE SONG ITSELF WAS ALREADY UPBEAT AND FUN, AND WITH HOBI PERFORMING IT LIVE, IT LEFT US ALL HOSEOK-SHOOKED IN THE END. He owned the stage, HE OWNED US, IT WAS A STAGE FILLED WITH SO MUCH ENERGY. You can see in his eyes he enjoys this stage and he loves the lovin’ we’re giving him. This stage will always cross my mind whenever I put on my earphones and Mama comes on shuffle ❤

***BOY MEETS EVIL ALSO KILLED ME RIP MILKTEA-CHAN

PARK JIMIN- Same as Hoseok, how do I even start? I feel like gushing over how ADORABLE HIS EYE SMILES WERE. He looks so soft, so gentle, and baby like I can’t even. He gazes so sweetly at ARMYS. But once you begin to process that “oh, he looks like an innocent precious boy” you’re suddenly see him BODY WAVE in front of your eyes!! This boy is a flirt and would often go to different sides of the stage to say hello and SAY I LOVE YOU TO ARMYS. He is sweet to all people, but SEXY WHEN HE NEEDS TO BE. His movements are sensual and flowy, years of practice molded him with a body that could seduce, all the while giving you a precious, smile ;.;;

Lie. HE KILLED WITH HIS DANCE. This boy even used a blindfold as his prop and immediately raised the temperature inside the arena. There were also a part where he was carried by his back up dancers and just—asdgjvhdljkl. His vocals doesn’t disappoint as well. Jimin knows what he’s doing and in the process, he’s serving it well.

KIM TAEHYUNG- This man. This precious, adorkable, pure man. When I saw him, I was immediately struck with how strong his features were. His visuals, indeed ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD. By the second he looks ethereally handsome, but then he smiles and you just cant help but admire him! But the V we know isn’t just on just looks. His dorky, free spirited nature is what makes him so precious! He held no precautions in making faces (sexy, funny, anything!!!!) or showing how genuinely touched he was, especially during the Purple Ocean when ARMYS sang 2!3!. At some point, he looked teary eyed ;.;; Taehyung is an angel and must be protected!!!!!

Ever since Stigma came out, I anticipated his stage a lot and boy, I was not disappointed. Taehyung’s voice is so unique with how deep and husky it is, and just WOW. He owned the stage by sending us in a trance for his voice, AND WHEN HE HIT THAT HIGHNOTE, WE ALL SCREAMED. His voice is so beautiful ;.;; I hope he’ll get to sing more in his comfort zone (and hopefully rap for Cypher, soon heh~).

JEON JUNGKOOK- Do you question what perfection looks like? ITS HIM. HE’S REALLY GOOD LOOKING IN REAL LIFE. From the graceful way he moves as he dances, to his vocals that is to die for, the way he smiles in this cute, innocent way and to a FULL BLOWN ONE THAT IS SO WIDE AND FREE THAT YOU CANT HELP BUT SMILE ALONG. He’s playful too, he found a meme fan of himself and imitated it lols. He and Taehyung were the last ones leaving the stage, all the while making finger hearts and looking like dorks before sprinting off backstage like little kids. His style is clean, to the point and graceful– you could find no wrong with this boy (except perhaps when he gets too rude and extra, then we’re all TT)

Begin was the first solo performance, and I was already excited because I purposely avoided fancams before so I could see the whole choreo. Kookie doesn’t disappoint! His footwork just leaves you breathless—with how quick and precise he does it. His voice gives me warm feelings, it leaves me wanting to close my eyes and savor. Kookie truly is one of a kind~

FINAL THOUGHTS:

All members are beautiful in their own unique way; they are all talented and they really go out of their way to communicate with the fans, as best as they can. They all deserve love and appreciation *mic drop*

Another is what I honestly love about WINGS TOUR is how it showcased each of the member’s individual performances and captured their personalities. Like how Jhope’s MAMA incorporates rap and dance, and the fun, upbeat stage reflects his outgoing personality, or how we see V’s mature side with his soulful husky voice that is highlighted in song such as Stigma. I’m glad that the members each got their moment to shine, each had the moment to tell their stories, and each showed a side to them that is outside who they are as idols. The concert itself felt really intimate between BTS and ARMYS and it made me fall in love with BTS all the more~

I’m extremely proud of PH ARMYS for being so passionate in making the boys feel welcomed and loved here in our home country. Till the next time! I’m definitely going again next year ❤

Banner reads: ‘You’re our one and only sun, the only one in the world’ (Run lyrics)

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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

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My Heart Broke When My Dog Died, Then My Sister Said Im Overreacting

Sometimes, we all need a little bit of advice! Life is tricky, and there are a lot of situations where two heads are better than one.

That’s why we created theAsk Becca advice column, to tackle all of the complicated situations life throws our way!

Last week, Idiscussed some major dilemmas, from partners who were holding off on intimacy, to what to do if a generous gift is returned for cash.

Every week, I get lots of powerful, important questionsfrom our readers. I then select a few of these to discuss. Ihope that other readers out there will also take the opportunity to weigh in; your feedback is so valuable!

This week, I’ll be tackling a whole new round of challenges. We’re talking about puppy love, pregnancy, addiction in the family, and even baldness.

Scroll through below for my very best advice on all of these issues.

If you have a question or worry of your own, send it my way [email protected]!

Photo Credit: Flickr / J.H. Fearless

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Disagreeing Over Dad

Laura Caseley for LittleThings

Hi Becca,

I have a huge issue with my sister, and I hope you can help.

She and I were close as kids, but we grew apart as we got older. Now we’re both in our 50s, and our relationship is more strained than ever.

It all came to a head recently when our elderly father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s; we just can’t agree on the right way to move forward.

We both know he can’t live on his own anymore, but I think he would be happiest in an independent living facility, where he has support but still feels like he’s in control of his own life.

My sister wants him to move in with her so that she can take care of him, but I’m suspicious of her motives.

She’s clean and sober now, but she’s in between jobs and has a history of addiction problems. She stole money from my parents more than once when she was younger.

Is it wrong that I don’t want her to be in control of his finances? I’m worried he could be manipulated by her, especially as his disease gets worse.

What do I do? How do I protect my dad and try to salvage a relationship with my sister?

Not My Sister’s Keeper

Dear Not My Sister’s Keeper,

I truly feel for you: even the closest sibling relationship can strain under the kind of pressure you’re under.

When a parent is ailing (particularly when they might not be all there mentally), all of the burden falls on the children. In your case, it’s particularly difficult, because your sister has given you reasons not to trust her in the past.

Here, I think there are two steps you need to take: First, you need to decide whether or not you’re ready to trust your sister again. Consider how long she’s been drug-free, what kind of work ethic she has, and what her motivations might be.

Second, talk to your dad and see what he wants. He may be in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, but surely he has an opinion on where he wants to spend his remaining years. Catch him in a lucid moment, and have a conversation about how he wants his future to be handled. Record your conversation, just in case you need to prove it at some point.

Once you know what he wants, work on spending some one-on-one time with your sister to repair your relationship. Things might have been tough for you to in the past, but you’re going to need each other going forward.

Love and positive wishes!

Becca

Ready For A Baby

Laura Caseley for LittleThings

Dear Becca,

I am 42 years old and have a high-stress sales job that has been mylife for years.

I’ve been working hard to advance my career for almost two decades now, but around the time I hit 40, I realized it wasn’t fulfilling me anymore.

I’ve been single since my marriage broke up seven years ago, and I haven’t “gone all the way” with anyone in a year. However, I have the craziest thought: I think I want a baby.

I’m scared to even write it down, because I’m worried I missed my opportunity.

I’m on the wrong side of 40 and I have no partner, but I’m financially stable and have all the love in the world to give to a little one.

Am I crazy to even consider doing this on my own? Please help!

Wannabe Mama

Dear Wannabe Mama,

First things first, you arenot crazy! Some of the best moms I know didn’t take the plunge until they were in their 40s or 50s. Your age definitely doesn’t count you out.

That said, your body might have some opinions of its own. You’re going to need to carefully consider how you want to go about this. You’ll need to check with your doctor to see whether pregnancy is a good idea for your body, since fertility can decline after age 35 for some women. Your doctor can also help you think aboutoptions like in vitro, surrogacy, and adoption.

As for raising a baby without a partner? You’ll be just fine, promise.

Being a single mom isn’t easy, but millions of women raise wonderful kids alone every day.

What’s more, you’re in the position of being independent, financially stable, and really, really secure in who you are, because you’ve had the time to grow into your own sense of self-confidence.

You’re going to be a great mom. If a dad comes along, awesome. If not? You havegot this!

Best of luck, and congrats in advance!

Becca

Pulling My Hair Out (Literally)

Laura Caseley for LittleThings

Becca, here’s my deal.

I’m a 45-year-old married woman who’s always had a sh**load of confidence, until now.

I recently started balding, and I have no idea how to tackle the problem.

I mean, isn’t this the kind of crap my husband should be dealing with?

Tell me, how does a girl get her groove back when she’s rocking a shiny dome?

Bald and Bemused

Dear B&B,

You want to go out for happy hour sometime? Cause you sound like a lady who is a lot of fun!

I love your self-confidence, and I don’t think it needs to take a hit just because your hairline isn’t what it used to be.

Your point about your husband is accurate: mendo go bald early and more often than women. That said, hundreds of thousands of women deal with hair thinning and baldness, especially during hormonal changes.

Do you have a hairstylist you trust? I would suggest scheduling a consultation with her and seeing whether there are any products or styles she recommends that might help nip the baldness in the bud.

If that doesn’t work, consider this: You can still be a bald, beautiful babe without losing a single ounce of your personal oomph!

Lots of women look awesome inbuzzcuts, wild wigs, and funky scarves when their personal mane just isn’t doingit anymore. You sound like the kind of lady with the style and charisma to pull it off!

Rock on!

Becca

Not “Just” A Dog

Laura Caseley for LittleThings

Hello Becca,

I just recently lost my dogat the ripe old age of 14 years. Now, I can’t seem to pull myself out of this funk I’m in.

People around me have a hard time understanding how much my sweet Nina meant to me, and think I’m too emotional about it all. I talked to my sister about how devastated I am and she actually told me I’m “overreacting.” Can you believe that?

I’ve lost plenty of people who were close to me over the years my father passed just two years back but nothing has hurt my heart quite like Nina walking over the Rainbow Bridge.

Is there something wrong with me that I feel so strongly when everyone else seems to think she was “just a dog”?

Puppy Love Lost

Dear Puppy Love,

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Losing a dog that’s close to your heart is truly heartbreaking, even when you know it’s their time.

To answer your question: no, no, no. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you for feeling so strongly.

For so many of us, the animals in our life are like an incredible combination of best friend and child. Dogs in particular are such loyal, good, kind friends to us humans.

You should never feel like you have to measure one sorrow against another. When you lose a family member, sometimes your grief is complicated by past conflict and old grudges.

When you loss a dog, the grief is pure and simple, and it sometimes hits that much harder because there’s no confusion in your heart.

In this sad time, just take comfort in friends and loved ones, and try to remember that 14 years is a good, long life, and your dog got to spend it with her very favorite person: you!

Not now, but maybe someday, you’ll find another pup who can offer you another beautiful friendship and help honor Nina’s legacy.

Condolences and love,

Becca

Laura Caseley for LittleThings

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