#.but 'lazy' in executing things that need to be done. i sensed he sort of was always dragging his feet

[a-student-out-of-time]

Actually I like the brainwashing plot in TCW for Star Wars bc I enjoy the development they gave the clones. Which makes order 66 not make sense unless you rip away their agency, and I feel like it makes more sense in SW than it does in Danganronpa. I think brainwashing plots can work, with tearing away agency, if that’s the story you want to tell. I firmly believe no concept is a bad concept, it just largely depends on execution and intentions when telling a story - muffin Anon

//I haven't seen Clone Wars, so I can't comment on that aspect ^^;

//I also believe that, barring a few examples, a good writer can make essentially any concept work with the right amount of effort. It takes context, work, narrative cohesion, character, etc. You need to figure out how best to weave it into the story for the desired emotional reaction.

//The problem I have with the brainwashing in DR3 is that it's exactly the sort of thing I was afraid it was going to be: a quick and lazy method.

//The hints in DR2 suggested that Junko turned Class 77-B to her side by systematically breaking them down, one by one, until they accepted her ideology. That she targeted their weaknesses, their insecurities, their doubts, fears, anxieties, all essentially reprogramming them to agree with her ideology. That she went full cult leader with them and turned them all into loyal servants through different methods.

//That offered more exploration for character, for how these largely kind and upstanding people could fall into a cult where they did everything from starve to mutilate themselves in the name of Junko

//But no, instead we're told it was done via an anime that changes your emotional state and by killing off a character who was retconned into being real, seemingly just to make her death as cruel and excruciating as possible. We didn't get any character exploration, just "Your friend is dead, now despair."

//And instead of focusing on them as character, we instead focused on Ryota, a character who was never seen nor hinted at before, and yet we're supposed to project both all the blame and all the sympathy onto because this is all his fault. And yet I forget he exists more often than not, because he's not interesting.

//It turns what was such a cool and compelling mystery rich for character exploration into a very lame scenario where nobody involved is really at fault, thus nobody really has anything to atone for.

//That's why it bothers me so much

//With the Neo World Program, that actually feels like it would've been the only real means to deprogram them all from becoming despair, so I don't really see it as the same thing. It's essentially a form of memory-erasure as a means to treat trauma and/or bad behavior, a real concept considered within theoretical medicine

[thickenmyblood]

hey maca :)) I have sth that I’d love to hear your input on! (wall of text incoming so beware- I’m absolutely not mad if you don’t want to answer lmao). Basically it’s about how you portray women in your works and to what extent you see that portrayal mirrored in the canon books. I have noticed that a lot of writers tend to go a traditional route with for example daughters not being heirs like you also mentioned in an answer for a wtsioa ask on here. Considering the cultures Vere and Akielos are based on that’s obviously very logical and a lot of authors (including you) make it work fantastically! Yet personally I never got the vibe of Vere and Akielos being as patriarchal in canon, mostly because the Information we get is kind of confusing. On one hand damen is a walking manosphere (and. all of Akielos in general as well) without any prominent female figures in his life but on the other hand damen only ever speaks appreciatively of for example the female vaskian warriors. Both countries seem to ban women from the army yet Damen also refers to a warrior queen. The regent is a total misogynist but with the wording Laurent uses it almost seems like that is more the exception and not the general rule of veretian court life. Both countries also have ties to Vask, an exclusive matriarchy and Akielos is said to be similar to Patras which Pacat has stated is also partly a strong matriarchy due to vaskian occupations in the past. I could go on for a lot longer but I guess that damens overall positive attitude towards women and especially stereotypically spoken masculine women is what sticks out the most to me. It just seems kind of misplaced in a world that supposedly is as sexist as the original cultures from our world. Which is why I’d say both countries do have gender roles but are overall a lot more egalitarian than their respective real world og cultures. But that’s only my take and I’d love to hear more on what others think about the portrayal of women in canon and how they chose to portray it in fanfiction. Love you and your new work, hope you’re doing well❤️

HELLO!!! Thank you for asking me interesting stuff :, ) you always have the best questions and my sad little inbox is open to you any time, friend. I divided this into parts, so:

My portrayal of women: I need to work on this a lot lmao. I’m not proud of any female character I have ever written for this fandom, and I’m also not proud to say I struggle horribly when it comes to writing female OCs, especially if the story is not about a female character that is a literal projection of me. Or Bella Swan (yes, Twilight literally shaped my sad little brain and the way I write and consume fiction).

Authors writing female characters in a “traditional” way (for fantasy settings): I can’t speak for other authors but I definitely think, in my case, that using the “it’s a patriarchal society, women have no rights, women can’t be heirs, etc.” blueprint is a matter of being lazy. It’s quick, and easy, and it’s been done before so we all know how it works and a) it’s unlikely that you’ll mess it up (in the plot hole kind of way) and b) it’s obvious that most readers know how the usual system works and so you don’t have to spend paragraphs or even chapters explaining it to them. I am very lazy when it comes to world-building for fics. Why? Because when I’m writing fanfiction I don’t give two shits about the world, I just care about the characters doing Things and having Feelings. The moment you start to question these issues (a society where women can join the army, where they can be heirs, where maybe they can have multiple husbands, etc.) a billion issues arise because it’s not the “usual way” and so you’ll have to deal with “unusual problems”. See: plot holes, info-dumping, etc.

Vere and Akielos in canon: I think the books get very, very confusing at times when it comes to gender roles in that specific world. They also get very confusing about how royalty works, in my opinion. So:

Damen never mentions female influences in his life, not even nannies or wetnurses or anything. He mentions past queens and his mother, but even then… It’s always struck me as “what the actual fuck” that we get no information on Egeria. In TSP, he doesn’t even read as curious to me, especially when I think of that line that goes something like “oh, well, he’d never asked how tall she was”.

Then you have Jokaste, who is highborn and also… perhaps trained in politics? It’s unclear to me if she’s ever been directly involved in meetings or been an active member of the Council or even been allowed to study these issues. Clearly, she’s smart and capable and cunning, but like… how? Did she have private tutors? Is she a self-made woman? Like, what’s up with that? Are women allowed to engage in public politics? Are they allowed to be kyroi?

IMO, Damen complimenting the female warriors in Vask has to do with how appreciative he is of war-related stuff. Like, he thinks people with his own qualities are neat. We see this time and time again in the books—having honor, being brave, respecting one’s family, protecting those who need protecting… He compliments these things when he sees them in others, especially in Laurent. Obviously one of the big changes in Damen as a character is that he goes from being daddy’s boy to being like “well, actually… maybe war isn’t always the answer, and maybe war isn’t always honorable”. The Vaskian warriors prove themselves worthy of praise in a “manly” way, if that makes sense. (In the same way, Laurent proves himself in the Okton, not so much to Damen but to other Akielons). So, in essence, War > Any issues he may have about women doing Stuff.

Don’t judge me for this but I can’t remember the Regent talking about women. Do you have any quotes about that? I feel like Book 1 is super rich when it comes to world-building stuff and yet it’s the book I remember the least. I know he obviously has a preference for boys and not girls, but I don’t recall him having interactions with Vannes or ladies at court? I’M SORRY I’M SO STUPID but I don’t own the book so I can’t exactly word search my way out of this one, and so instead of saying stupid stuff, I’m asking anyone reading this (lol, you and my mom probably) to please tell me what canon says on this issue.

Ties to Vask: Er, yeah, I mean… They’re clearly not at war with Vask and have some sort of economic deal (there are Vaskian pets in Arles? Which makes me wonder if they, like, buy them from Vask? Or if the pets are Vaskian and turn into pets in Vere? Slaves are not like pets so I don’t know?), BUT just because they have deals with this kingdom/are on good terms with the ruler does not mean they necessarily approve? Like, maybe they’re like “yeah, it’s weird they give women so much power, but also I need that silk/leather/WHATEVER, so I’ll shut up about that”.

“Akielos is said to be similar to Patras which Pacat has stated is also partly a strong matriarchy due to Vaskian occupations in the past.” Is this in the books or is this something she said in an interview/post-releasing the trilogy? I know in the books there’s a quote that Akielos and Patras are similar because they both have slaves, but other than that I can’t quite remember anything about Patras? Like, I don’t recall Pacat giving us extensive and thorough world-building on either nation, at all. Once again, I am asking you for more explanations on this because I literally don’t remember.

4. My opinion and a Stupidity Disclaimer: As I’ve said above, there’s a lot of stuff I don’t remember and so I’m not trying to preach to anyone reading this or even saying that I hold the truth about… anything. I’m answering questions as I see fit and asking more questions when I run out of answers.

I believe world-building is not one of Captive Prince’s strong points. I will not elaborate on this because this is already long enough but there is simply, in my opinion, not enough material to reach any solid conclusions when it comes to world-building questions such as the role of women in Vere and Akielos, how compulsory homosexuality affects the development of highborn men and women in Vere, exactly what makes Akielos’ view on women different from Vere’s (if there’s any difference at all), the history of gender roles in this world and how it’s evolved up until canon, how Lamen can solve the heir issue without recurring to, once again, “the usual stuff” (concubines, bastards, marriage to women, etc.). It’s clear from what I’ve read that Pacat has come a long way as a writer and that her new trilogy has a lot more in-depth explanations to world-building questions, but this is not the case with CP, and so I’m afraid my answer to most of this is “I don’t know, and I don’t think anyone can know for sure”.

Lastly, I think I struggle a lot with understanding the role of women in this universe because I simply did not see enough women doing stuff, so I don’t know what’s permitted, what’s unacceptable, what’s illegal, what is straight-up execution worthy, etc. This is not me complaining about the lack of female characters in CP, at all, which I know is contradictory to stuff I’ve said in the past (I answered a couple asks a year ago about how I’d wished we’d gotten Vannes’ POV or Jokaste’s POV in the short stories). I’ve changed my mind, and so I think Pacat is entitled to write whatever she wants, just like I’m entitled to talk shit about KR with any living soul who will listen lmao.

To end this on a spicy note, I think sometimes we consume the wrong media and then complain because it doesn’t have what we wanted. If you’re looking for a trilogy with strong, fleshed-out female characters, Captive Prince is not for you. If you’re looking for a trilogy on female struggles and, I don’t know, defying… the male gaze… Captive Prince is not for you. There are plenty of books out there that focus exclusively on female characters, featuring sapphic relationships, and dealing with gender issues. WHICH IS NOT TO SAY WE SHOULDN’T BE HAVING THESE DISCUSSIONS. This is not about this particular question, but more about a lot of posts I’ve seen floating around… complaining about Pacat’s writing and the themes she didn’t explore.

If anyone has made it this far, thank you for reading, and know this is NOT me telling you what to think. This post is an open question that anyone can engage with, although I hope people will engage with this directly and on this platform, instead of… taking it somewhere else where I sadly can’t engage back! Unlike what happened with our awesome fat Laurent discussion, I will be replying to any questions I get on this (Note: I did not reply to most of those questions because a long time had passed and they were sort of repetitive).

[robininthelabyrinth]

Yay! I’m so happy prompts are open again! I love your writing! How about a scenario where NMJ dies in Nightless City either due to MY’s machinations and WRH just takes the chance to execute him. Now there are 3 clans being led by young inexperienced leaders who lost their parents or parent figures in the war

ao3

It wasn’t that Jiang Cheng hadn’t liked Nie Huaisang well enough, when they were all learning together in the Cloud Recesses. Anyone who had the energy to keep up with Wei Wuxian – and just enough good sense to help veer him off the really bad ideas, even if he did keep egging him on in regards to the medium-grade bad ones – was good news in his books.

But liking him didn’t mean respecting him, and the fact that Nie Huaisang hadn’t participated much in the war – couldn’t participate much – had led Jiang Cheng to discount him more or less entirely.

That’s what made it all the more surprising when Nie Huaisang ended up being the unofficial leader of the three remaining Great Sects in opposing Jin Guangshan after the war.

Jiang Cheng would have thought it’d be Lan Xichen, who was the oldest of them. Maybe it was because he hadn’t been included in their classes, already out and about on sect business, but Jiang Cheng had always felt like Lan Xichen was a generation older than the rest of them, even though he was only three years older than they were. At worst, he’d figured it would himself, since he had the experience of rebuilding a sect from nothing and had led men to battle and war - he had experience with being forced to be the one in charge, if nothing else.

Anyone, really, except Nie Huaisang.

“He’s up to something vile again,” Nie Huaisang said without preamble, tone clipped and eyes hard as they always were these days. He settled down at Jiang Cheng’s table and picked up a cup of tea with disinterest, nodding in recognition of the fact that it had been his favorite blend when they were younger. Possibly he didn’t have favorites anymore. 

“What now?” Jiang Cheng asked.

“This Xue Yang business,” Nie Huaisang said, which wasn’t a surprise at all. “It just keeps getting worse and worse. I really don’t like it.”

“You don’t like anything, Nie-xiong,” Wei Wuxian teased, bringing over some snacks they both liked.

If it was anyone else, Jiang Cheng would have snapped at Wei Wuxian, telling his martial brother to have more respect, to call Nie Huaisang by his proper title – Sect Leader Nie, since he didn’t have a personal title – except no one called Nie Huaisang Sect Leader Nie if they could help it, not after the example he’d made of the first few who’d done it, trying to ingratiate themselves with him.

As far as Nie Huaisang was concerned, his brother – who was still in the coma he had fallen into after Yangquan, after the Nightless City, after what should have been the end of the war but wasn’t, after everything – was the one and only Sect Leader Nie.

That was also around the time he stopped smiling, and the time the rest of the world discovered that under Nie Huaisang’s smiles and tears and frills and overly indulged laziness was the same core of steel and rage that his brother was famous for.

“Are you going to keep talking nonsense or are you going to help stop it?” Nie Huaisang asked Wei Wuxian, harsh as always, and Wei Wuxian obediently sat down and shut up.

Something Jiang Cheng had yet to figure out how to get Wei Wuxian how to do. He was desperately jealous in some ways, but his normal thing about other people being better than him at anything was heavily muted by the fact that it apparently took Nie Huaisang being, well, like that in order to accomplish it.

Like he was all alone in the world, having lost the only family he had left.

For what might be the first time in his life, Jiang Cheng would prefer to be second-best if it meant he didn’t have to face the same sort of loss. It had been bad enough losing his parents, but if he lost Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian as well…

He might have, too, if Nie Huaisang hadn’t all but stormed the Lotus Pier in a rage when Jiang Cheng had failed to reject Jin Guangshan’s request to expel Wei Wuxian from his sect as quickly as Nie Huaisang would have liked. Jiang Cheng had even (secretly) been considering it, knowing that Wei Wuxian agreed with the idea, thinking that maybe distancing themselves in public and remaining close in private would be the only way -

Nie Huaisang had put a rapid end to those thoughts.

With Nie Huaisang at his side, and even Lan Wangji having arrived from who-knows-where, Jiang Cheng had had the confidence to tell Jin Guangshan that the internal affairs of his sect were none of his business and that the furthest he’d go in regards to Wei Wuxian’s actions would be to offer to pay recompense for taking the Wen sect prisoners.

Obviously the Jin sect had refused, not wanting to seem like they were pinching pennies, and in the end it had actually turned out fairly well as a political stratagem, smaller sects appreciating the way he stood up for himself and established a precedent for resisting such pressure. Jiang Cheng really wouldn’t have thought it.

(He hadn’t been allowed time to think – Jin Guangshan had been leading him around by the nose, and only Nie Huaisang’s choler had snapped him out of it before he made some very bad decisions.)

“A little nonsense isn’t so bad,” Lan Xichen said from the door, waving at them not to rise to salute him as he entered, followed closely by Lan Wangji. He smiled at Wei Wuxian in particular – they were all but brothers-in-law now, given how much time Lan Wangji had been spending at the Lotus Pier, even if the relationship wasn’t official yet. “It adds a little levity and laughter to life.”

“I promise to laugh when you finally give me Meng Yao’s head,” Nie Huaisang said, and Lan Xichen’s smile abruptly crumpled. “The way you should have back then.”

“Do you want to work together or not?” Jiang Cheng asked Nie Huaisang irritably. “Drop it.”

“Certainly I will drop it, as soon as the honorable Zewu-jun stops telling me to laugh more. He wanted someone to smile at him and he got it, and all it cost him was my brother - and supposedly his - so you’ll have to forgive me for not being full of levity and laughter.” Nie Huaisang accepted a snack pressed into his hand by Wei Wuxian. “My spies indicate that the Tingshan He Sect – about sixty or seventy in total – have disappeared. Very shortly after their young master had a dispute with Jin Guangyao, as you might recall.”

Jiang Cheng flinched. “The entire sect?”

“The entire sect.”

Wei Wuxian muttered something extremely unpleasant under his breath.  “On what excuse?” he demanded. “He nearly got me kicked out of the cultivation world over the Wen sect, fine, but Tingshan He? He Su fought in the Sunshot Campaign! What could they possible said that he did to deserve it?”

“He publicly opposed Jin Guangshan’s bid to be chief cultivator, and Jin Guangyao’s new position as his heir, isn’t that enough?” Nie Huaisang said, heavily sarcastic. “I think what you should be asking is what the children did to deserve such a fate, or the babes in arms…oh, I’m sorry, Zewu-jun. Would you prefer that I be smiling while I talk about it? I understand that’s your preference. Forgive my insufficient levity; I’m afraid I cannot match your beloved sworn brother - you have only the one, if I recall correctly? - for such talents.”

Lan Xichen looked tired.

Jiang Cheng couldn’t blame him – Nie Huaisang had a tongue as vicious as Jiang Cheng’s mother, and he didn’t say that lightly – but on the other hand, there wasn’t much he could say to get Nie Huaisang to stop, either. 

After all, it was Lan Xichen who had refused Nie Huaisang’s immediate demand for Jin Guangyao’s head in the immediate aftermath when the whole debacle at the Nightless City had been revealed, one of the Nie sect disciples having survived nearly getting murdered long enough to testify as to what had happened within the walls, and, due to Lan Xichen’s prevarication, there had been time for Jin Guangshan to adopt Jin Guangyao back into the Jin sect.

After that, he became untouchable.

And then –

Well, then a lot of things had happened.

Jin Guangshan’s overreach and ambition were clear from the start, of course, more or less from the second he realized that the other three Great Sects were being led by the untried, inexperienced younger generation. Jiang Cheng had a good reputation, but he’d been fairly hamstrung politically by his sister’s decision to marry Jin Zixuan, not wanting to risk her being mistreated by her new family – Lan Xichen was a novice sect leader and still friends of a sort of with Jin Guangyao, at least back then – the other sects were too small to do much –

No wonder Nie Huaisang had changed so much. They hadn’t left him much choice.

“Something will need to be done about it,” Lan Xichen said. “An entire sect…he’s really gone too far.”

Nie Huaisang nodded sharply. In his opinion, Jiang Cheng knew, Jin Guangshan had gone too far long ago, and the rest of them were only just starting to catch up…

A bit like Nie Mingjue had been, with Wen Ruohan.

Damnit, maybe they should just listen to the Nie sect.

“Where will it end?” Lan Wangji asked from his place next to Wei Wuxian.

“War, of course,” Nie Huaisang said, and they all flinched. “Would you prefer to roll over and give in? I’m sure Jin Guangshan would be willing to promise you leniency if you turned over his grandson, Jiang Cheng, though you might have to execute your sister for having kidnapped him in the first place – even if she didn’t know she was pregnant when she returned to the Lotus Pier.”

“We’re willing to go to war,” Wei Wuxian said, his voice hot with anger, then realized he was being presumptuous again and looked over at Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes at him – at least he was trying – and nodded. “There’s no way we’re handing Jin Ling over, much less jiejie. But don’t make it seem like we have more influence than we do. After all, now that Jin Guangyao is the official heir, they have Jin Rusong, don’t they?”

“Not for long,” Nie Huaisang said, and Jiang Cheng turned to stare at him in dismay.

“Huaisang,” Lan Xichen said, aghast. “You haven’t –”

“I appreciate your confidence in me, really,” Nie Huaisang said, and threw a letter at his face.

Lan Xichen plucked it out of the air and looked it over, his face paling as he read it.

“Your spies again?” Jiang Cheng asked Nie Huaisang. He seemed to have an endless supply of them.

Nie Huaisang shrugged. “My brother never stopped sending them out, even if he barely ever used them, and he never asked them of anything that might make them break cover. Some of them have been undercover for over ten years – they’re very good.”

Lan Xichen put the letter down. He looked sick, which meant that Jiang Cheng really did not want to see what was in that letter. 

Unfortunately, what he wanted had long ago become not especially important. He was sect leader. He had to face all the worst that people could do, the awful, the ugly, the terrible –

Wei Wuxian nudged him in the side. “Can I?”

“Go for it,” Jiang Cheng said, relieved by the reprieve. He really didn’t know what he’d do without Wei Wuxian – he didn’t know what he was thinking, that he thought he could protect his sect better without him rather than with him. Nie Huaisang’s furious and despairing rant had been extremely convincing, even if it had been more than a little traumatizing. 

Especially in regards to his predictions as to the ultimate fate of Wei Wuxian and his lost sheep once he no longer had Jiang sect protection...

Wei Wuxian picked up the letter, looked at it, and blanched, which – wow. Jiang Cheng really didn’t want to know what was in there that would make the Yiling Patriarch look like he was going to throw up. Not even the reports about Xue Yang using people’s tongues to make tea had done that.

Wei Wuxian passed Lan Wangji the letter and put his hands down onto his lap, knuckles white. “He’s going to murder his own son.”

It took Jiang Cheng a second to parse that – to understand that the ‘he’ referred to Jin Guangyao rather than Jin Guangshan, as the latter wouldn’t have been a surprise – and then he jerked as if stabbed. “Not Rusong!”

Everyone looked exceedingly grim.

“That – fucker!”

“The idea is to blame us – or anyone resisting him, really – for the death,” Nie Huaisang said. “Then exterminate us as a consequence. Do you have any more of that cake? It was good.”

Lan Wangji wordlessly passed some over.

“So, getting back on the subject: war,” Nie Huaisang continued briskly. Unperturbed, almost, by what they’d just discovered, but then again he’d known longer, or maybe it was only that it didn’t surprise him the way it did them. “One way or the other, whether it’s us starting it or them; it was always going to end in war, as I told you.”

He took a bite of the cake, swallowed it.

“Imminent war, in fact,” he added. “Regardless of what the rest of you decide, I’m not going to sit around to waste my time talking until it’s too late. I’m going to kidnap Rusong – and maybe Qin Su, who knows, I haven’t yet determined how in-the-know she is – and that’ll probably kick the war off right away. I’m here to tell you to get ready.”

He swallowed another bite of cake. “Or, well, to get ready, or get out of my way. You can pick.”

“We’ll be ready,” Jiang Cheng said.

He didn’t want another war – but surely anything had to be better than this.

Lan Xichen caught his gaze over the table. He seemed tired, but also – hopeful. Even if all he was hoping for was an end to all the uncertainty that had been torturing them.

“We’ll be there, too,” he said, and Jiang Cheng nodded encouragingly at him. “Just tell us what to do.”

“Don’t worry,” Nie Huaisang said. “I will.”

[ignitification]

Two Sides of the Same Coin.

So, I actually hinted at this in my Yoichi Shigaraki's post - but as I found myself thinking about it, it becomes even more clear that the parallels between Deku/Bakugou and Yoichi/2nd User are way too many to be ignored (and that at the same time, they can be applied to Deku and Shigaraki).

Now, I'd have to consider in this post that the 1st and 2nd movie are, if not canon, an alternative universe which directly links back to the main story (as we saw with the Compression Gauntlet made by Melissa in the 1st movie, and which Izuku sports in Ch. 309).

But at the same time, I am not going to mention of some implication which might be related to this post entailed the possibility of Heroes Rising and Bakugou or one of his ancestors being an OfA user because of two reasons: I. because I am not a fan of the theory and II. because as things stand now, it has little to no relevance for the post.

Now, onto the main part: if we think about it, it makes absolutely sense that a foreshadowing of the relationship between Izuku and one or both of his counterparts is shown through the Vestiges of OfA. As I already wrote in the past (and I am particularly referring to this post), the Vestiges are somehow an enclosed space where Izuku is free to explore the Consciousness of his own Quirk. At the same time, it allows him to have insight in himself and occasionally others from within the same environment. Point in case, this happens with Shigaraki - when after touching him through AfO's Quirks's wires, Shigaraki (possessed by AfO, that is) enters the Vestiges.

This narrates of the fact that, mostly - appearances are not everything. I guess, this is also why the Vestiges look like a piece of crumbled building; not only because they managed to fully shape after the power evolved - which means through Toshinori towards Izuku - but also that the Vestiges are a kind metaphor for the people inhabiting the Vestiges. If the Vestiges are a shared consciousness formed due to the embers of an identity left in it and embed with a personality before being passed, it means that there is a sort of personalisation of OfA. Well, that should have been clear when Horikoshi made Izuku develop Shoot Style, and manifest OfA in different ways from All Might - freeing Izuku form the shackles that is his admiration for the hero. But most importantly it also means that this personalisation comes from within, while the power and that is, the core and the shared value of these people, stays fundamentally the same. Which is then represented by the Vestiges. But, the fact that this Quirk Personalization makes its way through the cracks on a shared identity, is evident in the fact that every user if free to decide whether to acknowledge the other (and foremost Izuku) and what to think of the situation. As the 2nd User speaks, he is still not entirely convinced that Izuku's is the way to go (I wonder, whether the fact that Izuku cannot properly speak also depends on the fact that User 2 and 3 haven't fully accepted Izuku yet).

This brings us forward to the notion of Hero, of Saving and the 'Room'. As it is clear by the panels above, 2nd User and Izuku play the role of Saviours, offering a help which is thought maybe not needed, but it is offered all the same. It is also at the beginning of a life-long journey, even if Izuku and Bakugou's comes way much after. Yoichi considers 2nd his hero, and the initiator of the story. Bakugou considers Izuku not his hero, but at the same time - Izuku, time after time, 'saves' Bakugou and offers him a hand to get out of the room full of himself in which society closed him in. But, these consideration, in my opinion, fit more the Shigaraki and Izuku storyline.

First of all, notwithstanding everything, Shigaraki is the main 'antagonist' of the story. He's the leader of the LOV, and while not the brain of the operation, he is still the one who puts in practice. He is the one actually influenced by AfO. He is the one, again, to be closed off from the world by AfO. Same as for Yoichi - as a form of absolute control. AfO encloses in a definite space, both mentally and physically Yoichi and Tomura both. He wants from them to be dependent of him. Wants them to be grateful to him for what he has done. Because he is the one who saved them, who gave them the necessary power and helped them survive in this world. It is not a case, that looking-wise Yoichi and Tomura are so similar, especially after the 'Hibernation' Tomura went through. And this scenario also brings to mind the way Shigaraki's body gets hijacked by AfO's consciousness, and Shigaraki tries to fight it - but instead, he is put to 'sleep' and rest, as to recover - because of the amount of energy used during the battle against the heroes.

As for the Hero part played by the 2nd User in the original scenario, Izuku is the one most likely to represent it in the upcoming occasions. Lately, there has been a lot of speculations about Izuku saving or not Shigaraki (the whole Vestige talk is after all, about Shigaraki and Izuku), but in the end, as said countless times: the set up talks clearly. Izuku is dead set on offering the tentative hand to Tomura, because in the Vestiges he saw that Shigaraki Tomura is nothing else than an identity created by AfO out of spite, hatred and manipulation. It's a mask, which Tomura executes as its best capabilities.

And if Izuku, who is the one who actually puts the seed of ‘But after all, maybe, there IS something to save, if you can understand what made villains the way the are’ is, despite the double expressed by Ni-sama, the hero of this scenario - on a very evident side that Shigaraki, or rather, Shimura Tenko, is the one who embodies the concept of Salvation and Destruction (Restoration), that is at the core of the entire manga series (and of course, of the ideology brought forward by the OfA users). Izuku Midoriya is, after all, walking the same steps of the 2nd user: going to save someone tossed aside and in AfO’s control, giving birth to a new stage of society and consequently reality. It’s a change in tide. The beginning of something new, and the end of something long overdue. It’s the beginning of a new, reformed society which does not see murder as a way of salvation, but rather understands that Heroes can show and bring forward another way, while working on themselves and working to save the villains. And it’s, at the same time, the End of an era holding Heroes in the highest regard, and glorifying power and strength (All Might’s Quirk. Endeavour, even the criteria of the UA entrance tests). An Era which held All Might accountable for everyone else, too - and made him bear the burden. An Era which made society lazy and uninvolved with the villains and the ugly side of themselves (which I already explored in this take). As Yoichi puts it, it’s thanks to him that the OfA’s story begins - and it may be because of Izuku that it ends, as it will fulfil its greatest mission: to free the world from AfO and to save Shigaraki Tomura.

This is why, the parallels between becoming a hero, and offering a hand to someone who probably never even consider the possibility of needing it, is a foreshadowing for what is likely to go down between Izuku and Tomura.

But as always, parallels, even when everything, still might be just a perception of the real situation. A perception of a situation which is where different, also similar because, as we all know - history is a fickle thing and it has a terrible habit of always repeating itself.

[chrysalispen]

pursuit/predation (zenoswol)

This was a lot of fun LMAO I hope you all enjoy reading as much as i did writing it! Commission for @noxi-lumi featuring their WoL, Raziela Undeni <3

NSFW under cut. CW for mildly violent imagery (it is Zenos, after all).

======

Two and a half fulms below the angled opening of his makeshift bolthole, Zenos yae Galvus peered up at the sky with a borrowed face to watch the storm that had raged for two days. The levin-aspected aether in the northern hinterlands of Gyr Abania often lent itself to violent thunderstorms, with static bursts that rendered the escarpment too hazardous to cross. There were waypoints in the mountains to seek shelter from the weather but he had eschewed them, thinking that the fewer encounters to detain (and bore) him, the better. 

He had ever chafed at forced inactivity, but all in all, Zenos reasoned, this was but a temporary setback. Man was a beast bred for hunting, a pursuit predator, and he was nothing if not the pinnacle of that ideal. He would do as his ancient ancestors had done: bide his time and await his next opportunity. Once the storm had spent itself, he could go.

He whistled the opening bars of a parade ground march under his breath - a low and toneless sound like loch winds moaning around the corners of sandstone - and let his eyes fall shut.

Seconds and minutes passed as an age. Bereft of aught else to entertain him, his thoughts turned to his memories of the Eorzeans’ champion: that wild creature of sword and spell. Eikon-slayer. Saviour of the savages, so-called. Epithets overheard from idle barracks' chatter, although Zenos set little stock in the distinction between his own kind and the rest of the world as others did. Garleans bled the same, quailed in fear the same, and died screaming the same as any savage, and she had long since proven her mettle to his satisfaction. She strode the world as he did, towering above her fellows, a beast without peer. 

He still recalled with crystal clarity the day they had met. Then he had barely paid mind to her paltry attempts to halt his advance; countless enemies had attacked him out of fear or desperation to stave off the inevitable, after all. Even so, he had seen neither of those things in their hero's magenta eyes. A grim sort of determination, to be sure; the steely resolve he would expect of one well-versed in the path he walked himself- but no fear. 

There had been another emotion which he still couldn’t quite define, the faintest flicker of something. Curiosity, mayhap. His own exultation in the heat of the fight, mirrored in her mien. A reflection of himself, some alternate path he had never chanced to walk. 

Whatever it was he had seen that day, it had moved him to spare her life. 

And how right he had been to do it. She was worth a score of tribunes on her own-- fivescore, if the truth be told. Had she agreed to his proposal, or had he kept his word rather than indulge his lust for violence in that precise moment… 

How very different things might have been. 

Well, perhaps, he amended. They each had their parts to play. But upon the stage of his imaginings, anything was possible. There he could entertain to his heart’s content his fantasies of his friend returned to him, stronger still for her own tribulations. 

He meant to duel her again and had no doubt she would oblige him.  The prospect of it did not deter him; no, he yearned for the excitement of it. The surge of heat through the veins with each perfectly executed step, air burning the throat and whistling in the lungs, the ever-present specter of death looming over one’s shoulder-- what was violence, in truth, but a dance? Were not those dances with the most precarious, most intricate of steps best enjoyed with a partner of comparable skill? 

In the end that was what he had seen in her: a worthy partner, at long last. Whether to stand at his side or to test her blade against his, he would accept both, but to fight his most precious friend once more, to recapture that kindled flame-- that would be a fine thing.

Oh yes, that would be quite fine indeed.

Remembered delight shuddered its way across the surface of his skin, a delicious and almost delicate frisson that bored its way down his spine to curl and tighten in the pit of his belly. Zenos was no stranger to lust; since his majority plenty of his lessers had used their bodies to curry his favor for some petty reason or other, with naught in their hearts save ambition and fear. Carnal knowledge was both prosaic and vulgar, rutting the sole province of mindless beasts, and it had not taken him long to decide that such matters held little of interest or value to him. 

But this sweet and languorous warmth, like honey in a well-steeped tea-- he realized that he did not mind it so very much. It reminded him of the menagerie, and his last sight of her before he had opened his own throat and bled out into the flowers. Joy, pure and transcendent. 

Yes, he decided; this pleased him.

With a soft grunt Zenos shifted his hips. The motion left him keenly aware of the physical evidence of his arousal against the mild rise below his navel, where it strained against twin cages of cloth and leather for freedom. That spreading ache was not a sensation entirely alien to him, but it did strike him strange how very aware it made him of this borrowed body on such a base level. Heat and hyperawareness punctured the fine invisible layers of his detachment with the pinpoint precision of a sewing needle through linen.

His eyes fell shut once more in a series of slow and lazy blinks: a contented feline drowsing atop a fresh kill. 

He settled one hand over the seam of his breeches where the fabric was pulling taut and palmed himself, running his fingers lazily along the firm ridge his cock had formed beneath the thick weave. If he paid heed only to those slow and teasing strokes, he could convince himself that it was her, touching him so intimately---her hand dragging those sharp and immaculate nails he had glimpsed up and down his length. Scratching their points with calculated ease along the underside of his shaft, applying just enough pressure through the fabric to leave tiny trails of fire in their wake. 

A soft groan rumbled deep in his chest, and Zenos tilted his chin back so as to rest his head against the rock, thighs spreading to accommodate his girth. What would she do, he mused, should she chance to see him caught in the web of his own desire? Driven to distraction by the mere thought of her, the very picture of the animal in full rut which he had so scorned? 

The irony of it would amuse her, he had no doubt about that. Perhaps she might grin at the spectacle. 

Perhaps she would even laugh. He presumed to imagine it, a sight and sound he had yet to experience. A wicked, throaty peal of mirth. The toss of short sable locks, the tilt and swivel of long tufted ears, the stretch of her long and graceful neck as she tossed her chin. Grinned at him, feral and dark, that smile he so loved to see before her inevitable riposte. 

Savagery to rival his own, swathed in leather and crimson.

So thinking, Zenos’ fingers drifted upward of their own accord, straying from the insistent need betwixt his opened thighs to work at the waistband of his breeches instead. 

Lashes fluttered like a courtesan’s fan at the edges of angular cheekbones, suffused with color and dewy with a light band of sweat despite the chill within his shelter. In his mind’s eye, she straddled him as her clever fingers worked the buttons and laces that bound him fast, impatient to pluck her prize from its confines. He fancied he could feel the contained heat of her core against his leg even through the barrier of her smalls, burning as though the sun itself had branded him. 

When he raised himself to pull the offending fabric to his knees, it was she who closed her hand about his cock, grasping him just a touch too snugly. Her thumb stroked tiny circles over the foreskin as the shaft lunged eagerly within the cage of her palm; he could almost hear a hum of low-pitched approval. Each stroke she made eased the smooth, hot skin to retract and expose his crown: deeply flushed, its tip already glistening with precum. Zenos sighed, his borrowed body rocking upward to thrust into her hand, seeking friction to accompany that narrow squeeze. Anything would do, really. Except he needed--

Shallow breaths rasped unsteadily in the close space as he slicked his palm with his own saliva, grimaced, then took himself in hand once more. 

Wet heat and resistance alone nearly undid him. His startled inhalation made a sharp and rasping echo that he barely heard, lost as he was in his fantasy. She had shed her duelist’s garb, laid herself bare to embrace him with long and powerful thighs, like velvet-wrapped steel. He shuddered at the effort it took to control himself, to let gravity carry her down to sheathe him in her depths, to let her move atop him to counter his thrusts with her own: a beautiful beast with lips for kissing and teeth for tearing. She laid both to work upon his throat and his shoulders with each upward snap of his hips-- drank deep of him, and he of her, until his stomach ached from ribcage to groin with unrelieved tension. 

Violence in its own sense, he thought. A dance most intimate, and as real and as pure as the day they had parted.

“Yes, my beast,” he hissed aloud. The sibilant sound of his pleasure rose and reverberated around him, a chorus of empty whispers. “Just so.” His free hand fisted in a handful of loose gravel and his mouth fell slack and the spare limbs and lean angles of this unfamiliar vessel, all wrong, not his, arched like a bowstring. His heels dug into unyielding rock rather than bedsheets for purchase. Her fingers entwined with his, sharp nails grazing his knuckles, tiny cuts to blend with the myriad small scars left by 

(hunting. a pale silver-white web of scar tissue in the center of his left palm - his true vessel's left palm - where his fourteen-year-old self pierced it with a crystal. a parting gift to the first man he ever killed. its tendrils radiate outward between each of his fingers like the cracks made in a pane of shattered glass)

arrows and fletching. She was close; he fancied he could hear the labored rattle of her breathing with each small moan she made. Bracing her weight against his torso and balancing upon his thighs to bounce, sounds only he could hear tumbling from imaginary lips parted and glistening, her cunt flexing about him like a silken vise as she approached the edge of release and swept him along like an incoming tide--

--and the pressure in his groin dropped, at last, and when he spilled, his seed splashing over his frantically moving fist and locked fingers and onto the muscled slope of his exposed belly, it was her name which fell from his lips, not hero or beast but Raziela, Raziela.

Long moments passed before he opened his eyes, chest heaving and fingers numb and loosely wrapped about his spent cock, still pulsing beneath his touch. The syllables of her name seemed to echo in his ears, a mantra to recite to himself until he had locked it into his memory to recall at a whim. 

He waited in patient silence, willing his pulse to slow and his lungs to expand in an unhurried rise and fall. There was a low rumble from the opening of his shelter and after long moments, a flicker of lightning. The storm was passing and with it the levinstrikes. He would be able to move soon.

With movements as slow and languid as a sleepwalker’s, Zenos reached for the belt he had removed upon entering the cave and dug through its pockets until he found something that would serve as a washcloth. His gaze, as he wiped himself down and rearranged drab layers of linen and oilcloth into some semblance of order, was very far away, fixed upon the thinning clouds and the wheel of stars beyond. The moon hung low in the sky, bloated and orange.

I wonder where you are, my friend, he thought. If you have given thought to our meeting at all. 

“Raziela,” he whispered once more, as if testing the sensation of her name on his tongue. In the darkness of the cavern, his eyes glittered like a hungry cat’s.

It was only a matter of time before they were reunited; he would make certain of it. Once he had regained his true form, they would have their dance. A grand reunion upon a great stage, two stars to burn bright, and oh, there would be such a burning. To capture this bliss and relive it with her-- he would give anything in his power, and the very star itself would tremble at their union.

When he emerged from the cavern at last to clear skies and a still night, the moon hid its face behind a passing cloudbank like prey that had caught his scent. And within the bounds of his stolen vessel, Zenos yae Galvus smiled to see it.

[stormra]

For Osomatsu-san: How would the brothers treat their S/O, who’s a popular musician but has to travel around all the time (tours, concerts, etc)? Would they come with their S/O? Or stay and support them from afar because they don’t want to get in their way?

❝ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐒/𝐎

— type : headcanons

— characters : the matsuno brothers

     

𝙊𝙎𝙊𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐  : 

❧     While he’d support you and love you unconditionally regardless of what you want from him, he’d definitely want to leech off of your successes. You can expect him to instantly say yes upon being asked to travel with you. Staying home wouldn’t even be a consideration for an array of arguably stupid reasons that read as follows:

❧     “It’s no big deal! What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine, baby~”

❧     However, if you’re into being a less-official version of a sugar Mommy/Daddy/Parent, you might not care about him tagging along and using you for your money/fame. At least he loves you? Just look at it that way! Osomatsu isn’t all that bad.

❧     Sure, he’s greedy, but he’s not extremely selfish. He’d recognize that you have feelings that deserve to be acknowledged. Besides, we all know he doesn’t think very highly of himself in the first place. 

❧     He’d love to listen to you play/sing for him and would often go out of his way to watch you perform. While he might not know much about music, he’d value your dedication, as he has exactly 0 ounces of that mystical concept. Knowing that the people he loves are successful is euphoric.

❧     If you show him off to the public or so much as walk around with him in public, expect him to die. He wouldn’t be focused on suddenly gaining fame and popularity like some others would. Instead, he’d be stuck on the fact that you, a popular musician, chose to show the world that you belong to him and that he belongs to you... just a lowly NEET dating someone exponentially more successful. Something about that would warm his heart and make him feel valued for once.

❧     Did someone say he’d finally accept his identity? He’s constantly having internal crises. Your presence would only solidify his existence.

❧     While he wouldn’t be much of a comforting boyfriend, he’d pose as a great distraction. The celebrity life can get rather tiresome; Osomatsu would recognize this without a problem. Instead of coddling or comforting you, he’d use his childish nature to distract you from the stresses of the music industry, influencing you to take breaks and lazy days with him.

❧     He’d constantly ask to be in any sort of photo shoots you may have. He just wants to pose in funny positions with you! 

𝙆𝘼𝙍𝘼𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧     While Karamatsu wouldn’t exactly want to stay home in order to keep himself from making things harder for you, he’d do so if you asked or made it clear that you’d prefer such an option. If you’d expect him to ask, no. He’s far too polite to do that. 

❧     It’s important to note that he considers himself to be a bit of a musician as well. Therefore, he’d be even more compelled to go with you, but, again, he’d never ask. You’d have to ask him and express a trillion times that you actually want him to tag along. 

❧     This might sound like a stretch, but that grandiose act he loves so much? It would disappear rapidly with the knowledge that so many people could learn of his existence just by dating you. Without even being the celebrity in the relationship, he’d crack under pressure, reverting back into the timid, people-pleasing man he truly is. Get ready to have some fun teasing him and/or helping him establish true confidence. 

❧     Expect a lot of praise to fall from his lips. He would admire your successes without being overbearing. In fact, you’d inspire him. A lot. You can also expect a lot of his own songs to center around your success and beauty.

❧     Honestly? Give him musical advice! He’d accept it wholeheartedly; especially if it comes from someone like you. Your career would influence him to grow and learn from his mistakes in the field. You might have a model singer as a boyfriend before the end of the tour! While giving him critique, be sure to praise him just as much. He loves you endlessly, but lots of critique with little praise will leave him feeling a bit insecure. However, I’m sure you know this, as this aspect of his character is far from unnoticeable. Be gentle with him. He deserves it!

❧     If you imagine playing/singing duets with him, you’re on the right track. He’d love to sing for you and hear you sing with him in return. The same can be said for any instrument you may happen to play. He’d eat it right up! You’re his everything, after all.

❧     Will wear your merch—especially merch with your face on it. Please wear his tank top with his face out of respect.

𝘾𝙃𝙊𝙍𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧      Although some would assume he’d want to stay home for your sake, as he calls himself the most “responsible” brother, I know it wouldn’t be anything like that. Have you seen the way he acts around Nyaa-chan? This guy would ask you daily, disguising his motives with innocent claims. He’s a tricky bastard who should never be underestimated.

❧     “I only want to make sure everything goes smoothly for you!”

❧     “Don’t you need an assistant? Emotional support?”

❧     “If you don’t want me to come, I understand, but I think this could be a learning experience for the both of us!”

❧     While he would be more than willing to be your crutch and sense of normalcy, for he isn’t heartless, we all know he has a weird thing for idols and that would primarily spawn his desire to travel on tour with you. It doesn’t matter if you’re nothing like the idol he praises. You’re close enough and that’s undeniably attractive to him. 

❧     The fact that he’s even dating a musician is enough to scare him. Can you imagine how he’d act traveling with one? Pushy and controlling, you’d hardly catch a break, as he’d be riding your ass to get things done and to take care of yourself. If you like that sort of thing, good for you. If you don’t, then you’d need to talk to him about it. Although executed with good intentions, his overbearingness can be... well, overbearing. 

❧     Please keep him humble. As we know his ego is the size of the sun, he’d willingly or unwillingly use your existence as his partner to set himself apart from his brothers. Again, we know he already thinks very highly of himself, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he started using your relationship as a boost to get ahead of his “worthless” siblings. 

❧     “I’m dating a musician and you five can’t even get jobs!” 

❧     However, he’d never you to show him off to the public.

❧     On a more wholesome note, as I feel bad for giving him mostly negative headcanons, his doting-ness would be welcomed as well as detested. On your bad days, he’d be there to comfort you and offer objective solutions. Albeit uncharismatic, he’s rather skilled at speaking and getting his words across when they need to be conveyed properly.

❧     He buys all of your merch and wears the shirts everywhere. Really. 

𝙄𝘾𝙃𝙄𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧     It would take a lot of convincing on your behalf if you desperately want this man to travel with you.

❧     The threat of exposing himself to the public is a deep-rooted fear that keeps him from doing simple things within his mundane life—so one can only imagine the stress that would sit on his shoulders in an environment such as the celebrity one. He’d constantly find himself within ruts and deep pits, trying to stay out of the spotlight. 

❧     In that case, he’d be staying home. Let him stay home. However, the problems wouldn’t end there, so you best be on your toes.

❧     Jealousy can overrun the best of us. Ichimatsu couldn’t stomach the idea of going with you in the first place, but that wouldn’t stop the intrusive thoughts telling him that you’d end up leaving him for another musician who is leagues more talented and better looking. This obviously wouldn’t be your fault; he’s always been disgustingly insecure. A lot of communication would need to be reached: such as phone calls and texts. Although he wouldn’t be clingy, he’d need some frequent reassurance that you, in fact, love him. Praise him for being so sweet for you. Call him handsome as you FaceTime. Hell, write a short song for him. 

❧     On another note, you as a musician would literally be his northern star. As a man so shrouded in negativity, seeing you, a person who can communicate feelings through fingers or a voice, shining like the sun whilst on a stage surrounded by thousands, would leave his soul feeling all light and fuzzy. The mere thought that his partner is someone so ethereal would bring him some form of internal peace.

❧     He’d listen to your music every night. It’s how he’d fall asleep. 

❧     Surprisingly, he’d be the best at comforting you and helping you stay grounded. He knows what it feels like to feel hopeless. 

❧     Sing him to sleep over the phone! If you play an instrument, play for him! Oddly enough, he’d have one of the most prominent adorations for your musical skill out of his brothers. Something about it just warms his heart. You’d impress him to no end and inspire him to try and do something with his life. 

❧     He’d name one of his cats after a song of yours! 

𝙅𝙔𝙐𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧     Undoubtedly, he’d be the most eager to travel out of his brothers. He’d ask you daily, jumping up and down like a hyper puppy. He’d hardly have a reason as to why he’d like to go, but something about it would forever and always appeal to him for some unspoken reason. He might just crave adventure and some excitement. 

❧     Are we really surprised?

❧     Identical to a dog, he’d beg. He’d ask with various bone-crushing hugs and weird stares that are hard to deny. He’s not exactly the brightest, but he’s cute and knows it. No, he’s not manipulative, but if he wants to go, he’ll sure try his best to convince you to take him with you. 

❧     He compares you to Karamatsu a lot. In good ways, of course. 

❧     Upon letting him travel with you, he’d be one of the best distractions on a bad day. Of course you can’t silence discomfort by just “being happy”, but Jyushimatsu sure likes to make you laugh even on your darkest days. He’d be a great listener that lets you spill all of your darkest worries as an artist. He wouldn’t give the best advice, but his presence would be an award in it of itself. Like Osomatsu, his childish nature is a breath of fresh air. He’d also be remarkably skilled at reading how you feel. 

❧     Undoubtedly the loudest supporter at your performances. Will go out of his way to make sure his voice is the one you hear screaming over a sea of thousands. Also, I can’t promise he won’t tackle-hug you after performances, let that be offstage or onstage. Be ready! 

❧     He’d love wearing your merch—specifically oversized t-shirts with your face on them! Much like Karamatsu, he thinks that’s all sorts of romantic and cute. He could care less about being viewed as weird. 

❧     There’s no way you can keep Jyushimatsu out of the public eye. He loves you and he loves having fun! The poor guy would probably have a hard time understanding why he shouldn’t tackle you in front of your fans. Your best bet is to establish some boundaries and come to a conclusion that works best. If I’m being honest, he’d be a harmless public partner. He’s just all smiles and laughter... mostly. (:

𝙏𝙊𝘿𝙊𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧     Ultimately, this little bastard is hard to read. He can either be the sweetest man to ever grace the Earth or the most devilish and selfish.

❧     He’d tell you he doesn’t need to go on tour with you, but the answer he’s looking for is a yes. He enjoys playing “hard to get” and wants to come off as responsible and kind. Much like Choromatsu, he knows how to play his social cards and will do what he can to seem like a perfectly indecisive partner who is “totally okay with whatever you want.” That’s a lie. If you wouldn’t allow him to travel with you, he’d try to give you reasons as to why you should let him go. He’s complicated and I won’t sugarcoat that. You’ll find that I try to be realistic with these heavily romanticized NEETs. 

❧     Regardless, if and when he goes on tour with you, except to have yet another mini assistant. He’d always try to offer fashion tips and elements of which you should include in your songs to appeal to the public. Although a NEET, he’d have a strong idea of what the fans are looking for and what you could do to be more appealing. However, he’d understand if you’d like to keep up with your own thing and stray from conforming. He’d be fine with whatever you want, but that wouldn’t stop his opinions and tips. Maybe he should become a musician. 

❧     He’d get fussy over not having enough of your attention. His degree of fussiness wouldn’t become overbearing, but it’s always important to acknowledge the feelings of your partners to reach a conclusion. Remind him that you love him and he’ll eventually come around. 

❧     Easily the best advice-giver. Can both solve your problems or be the shoulder you cry on. He’d be fantastic at helping you through the trials and tribulations that come from being a musician. While he might seem apathetic, he really isn’t and understands just how pressuring expectations can be. This star of hope has seen some things.

❧     Although it may seem easy to assume he’d only be there for the fame, that wouldn’t be his only motivator. He’d truly want to see his beloved grow beyond others. His confidence will skyrocket whilst on tour with you.

❧     He’d design most of your merch: very minimalist designs that fit in with almost all aesthetics. When all is said and done, he’d wear the clothes with pride. What a dork.

❧     Likes to post pictures of you with him on his social medias. 

[thattimdrakeguy]

I couldn’t finish Batman and Robin 2009. It was just... mentally exhausting and I stopped shortly after Bat Dick put fake Bruce in the Lazarus pit. Based on his appearances in Teen Titans, Bruce Wayne: Road Home, as well as his big fan base, I assumed Damian’s character development was executed nicely in his own series. But then again in Gates of Gotham (literally read it just for Cass) he’s impulsive, arrogant and rude to Cass both to her face and behind her back-even after she saved his life 1

Don’t get me started on the sexist things he’s said to Steph. I want to like Damian, but writers don’t make it easy. I got into comics because of batfam fanfics and he was a fave of mine. Dude was extra violent and displayed borderline sociopathic tendencies in his first appearances, cool beans. There’s a lot they can do with a character like that. I just felt like his bad behaviour was never properly dealt with before B&R, and I couldn’t muster the energy to see him through his own series. 2/2

IMO, Damian felt like a Gary Stu at times.

I don’t know if that last one was from the same person or not, but I just got the feeling it is, and if it’s not, then well it blends well enough and don’t feel the need to answer it separately.

Like all I can really say is that I don’t really like Damian. A lot of people confuse that for me thinking he’s an evil monster. I imagine cause I have a Tim icon and other Tims do rage on about that every now and again. As well as just plain taking things I say the wrong way (though I have probably said things in the moment I imagine). But I just plain don’t really like his writing, and if I can’t really read a comic he’s in that I actually like. Idk, I just find it weird to say I like him, when all I really like is what he could be. I don’t feel like that really equals me liking him, cause when I think about it, I kinda realized that meant the opposite, and didn’t wanna project the wrong idea.

But I wanna say this about Damian. He is insanely inconsistent as a personality and character. To this very day. So, as I do with every character, I start from the beginning, figure out what was meant to be by the writers that helped develop them, and figure out what’s in-character and out of character from there. I just feel like it’s the most objective way I can look at anything if I want to review things with standards that are more than just “I like this” or “I don’t like that”.

And in the case of Damian he’s never not been inconsistent. Like one of the main reasons I reread Batman and Robin (or at least Morrison’s run) was for plans of a post about flanderization in the Bat-Family, cause it was pretty rampant in the 00s and still continues often to this very day, and I think is the cause of a lot of lost sales and unhappiness and overall fandom diminishment.

However also to say it, I liked to see a lot of what Damian could be within B&R 09.

But anyways, basically just because I can’t really do a part of the post on Damian without trying to figure out what he was like to begin with, and what he was supposed to be per his creator.

Cause you can’t really tell in fandom. Cause his most popular comics are from stuff that isn’t in the main universe and was purposely a lot lighter, or in the main universe from writers that really surprisingly didn’t get the character despite the popularity--which continues my thinking on it was less about the quality of the writing and more about the lazy fan service. They honestly really flanderized him in a similar yet opposite way then what they did with Tim in the 00s.

And while I can’t act like the sexism and homophobia wasn’t an actual part of the character of Damian at the time--he shows both of those traits in the series (at least the homophobia, cause I’m now realizing that I might be thinking of another series for the sexism). He was flanderized even then by other writers from the different series.

Like how he’s written in Red Robin, is not freaking Damian. It’s not Damian to me. I don’t accept it as Damian. Even a lot of the content of him in Batgirl I even less feel like is Damian--besides unfortunately some of the sexist comments, but they never really proper developed him on that as far as like--actively showing that, at least that I can recall. So all I can really say is it’s uncomfortable, and how they don’t delve into it is the only real reason I say “That actually sadly does fit in with him”. But it’s not like it doesn’t make sense, he was raised to fight, not to handle emotions or feelings, he probably would do and say really creepy things when he has a crush--I just wish they’d actually acknowledge that what was going on rather than sacrificing a good story for more fan service.

The other writers make him too much of a bratty, snotty, kid. And I found that, that is an absolutely terrible interpretation of Damian, because beyond his origin, he isn’t a typical brat, and he doesn’t really act like a kid (in some ways yes, but general mannerisms and personality no). And even then he was a different kind of brat. He was entitled and bitchy in his origin, not immature (at least in the same way) and snotty. They have him act more like some spoiled brat from next door rather than a kid that was abused into being obedient to be what his abusive mother wanted (Talia shouldn’t be abusive, but like I said before, I think the series sucked overall for reasons like that and more).

(I also find that stupid line cutting scene in RR where I presume he was trying to kill Tim to be even stupider, cause Damian wouldn’t freaking do that at that point. They make Damian come off as so stupid in that issue, I hate it. Cause it was all just a cheap way to force sympathy for him, but it doesn’t even make sense when you think about it and is a huge stretch.)

Damian doesn’t make jokes when he’s written better--it’s like his thing. He’s got quite the temper, and understandably why of course. He’s violent with criminals, but he’s also mostly just stoic as his base state when not in a stressed situation, and even shows remorse (which is a big stretch from his origin, but I blame that on the writing which could be very rushed and lazy). He was treated like just another adult for the most part, and it had a weirdly endearing quality despite the maturity of it, and general edge of the series. It was Damian’s place and it worked really well. It just felt right for their dynamics. Damian’s a unique kid, and they respected him for who he was. He just needed help on his morals and stability.

But other series didn’t really get that. He would still be really rude like his origin, and not really the same tone of rudeness (I’m not sure if I can really explain what I mean by that), he’s aggressive, but putting him in Teen Titans never made sense to me, because I don’t see Dick doing that. Dick had a lot more respect than to force Damian to do something like that. Dick was more patient, and while he did lightly smack (not any kind to hurt him any. literally to demonstrate without pain. more taps really) him to teach him a point about aesthetical weaknesses in his costume like the hood, it was mostly done out of finding a way to teach him that would speak to him. So just forcing him to do something he didn’t want to do--which would clearly not work on him--was just contrived and plain bad writing wise. Something they did more as a stunt so they can say “TITANS NOW HAS THE SON OF BATMAN” than to use him well or continue his story in a natural way.

With Cass I can’t say anything, because that’s like the one time he talks to her, and that basically shows their dynamic. So that’s just them, I can’t really say anything on it. If he felt challenged by her I could see him being a total jerk. It really depends on the scenes themselves. I never read the series myself cause I genuinely really don’t like that Batman Reborn era of Bat-Family. Too much of it was just done for publicity and random changes, and for the most part didn’t work much to me.

But overall, at the same time, despite me singing the praises of what Damian could be, and was for a little while. The overall writing for the character arc was super lazy. Stuff just kind of happens, and way too quick to fit in with what they introduced. He just kind of goes “this is right, now”, which makes his whole brainwashing thing feel a bit--useless, and makes how he went from chopping heads off to that in very little time sort of cuts out depth that could’ve really made the series more rereadable. Damian actually comes off surprisingly as a very flat character for stretches of time in the issues because his character arc is never focused on as much as you’d think until they need to be like “Oh yeah...uh, here’s an emotional moment”. Which just felt really cheap to me.

So the series to me isn’t worth it if you want a good story. None of the stories were good to me, I think I was questioning each one cause it was either schlocky, out of character, or both. I know people like Grant Morrison, but they aren’t for me, I’m not a fan of their writing. Damian was a Gary Stu a lot, which they try to explain with the League thing--but having the League give him experimental surgery so he could walk the same day (or next) after being legitimately paralyzed was just way too freaking much to me. But he does make mistakes, so he’s not at base a Gary Stu really--the writing just really stunk badly sometimes.

This isn’t me putting in a bid to say “OH YOU JUST NEED TO READ THIS, AND YOU’LL FREAKING LOVE HIM”, because to be freaking honest, when you already have a bad taste in your mouth, it’s best to just wait a bit till trying again. I read the fandom recommended comics and felt there was so many problems that I couldn’t read Damian for literal months. And he still has a lot of the problems you said. I’m just saying Damian is surprisingly different when written by his creator than others, cause honestly nearly every single other writer for him has gotten him wrong. Like mind-blowingly wrong. He does not feel like the same character anywhere else. It’s nuts.

To put it another way, it’s a generally speaking bad series, but if you want to see what Damian was meant to be like before they kept regressing him, and diminishing him, and turning him into more a joke, and see what his dynamic with Dick and Alfred was meant to be like, it’s a brilliant and perfect series to read it for.

It’s better for learning about them--then it actually is to enjoy it. Because it’s most likely not a series I’m going to be returning too often unless to research something again.

[mvsicinthedvrk]

mmm personality test sorting time !!

i’ve done one character a day for a while & now they’re all done, so: fun sorts for my characters alphabetically under the cut.

i took the 16 personalities test for the mbti, the eclectic energies test for the enneagram, for hogwarts house I was going to originally just choose based on instinct but i did end up using this knockoff pottermore test, and then I did the open psychometrics “which character are you statistically most like” quiz for the last one. 

henry strauss-- 

mbti: INFP (the mediator) -- “Mediators may feel directionless or stuck unless they connect with a sense of purpose for their lives. For many Mediators, this purpose has something to do with helping and uplifting others. Empathetic by nature, these personalities may feel other people’s suffering as if it were their own“ lmfao oh henry

enneagram: oh he’s a type 4 for sure. I agree with that 200%. -- “Fours are emotionally complex and highly sensitive. They long to be understood and appreciated for their authentic selves, but easily feel misunderstood and unappreciated.”

hogwarts house: 42% hufflepuff (then in order: ravenclaw, gryffindor, slytherin)

which other characters are you most like: 

#1: charlie from perks of being a wallflower (OUCH!!)

#2: wes gibbons from htgawm

#3: jonathan byers from stranger things

holland vosijk--

mbti: ISTJ (the logistician)-- “Logisticians have sharp, fact-based minds, and prefer autonomy and self-sufficiency to reliance on someone or something. Dependency on others is often seen by Logisticians as a weakness, and their passion for duty, dependability and impeccable personal integrity forbid falling into such a trap.” this is so funny to me. it’s very true. 

enneagram: type 8-- “People of this personality type are essentially unwilling to be controlled, either by others or by their circumstances; they fully intend to be masters of their fate... Eights have a hard time lowering their defenses in intimate relationships. Intimacy involves emotional vulnerability and such vulnerability is one of the Eight's deepest fears” legit

hogwarts house: 40% slytherin (then in order: ravenclaw, gryffindor, hufflepuff)-- this actually surprises me because I would have guessed ravenclaw instead. 

what other characters are you most like: 

#1: carolyn martens from killing eve (i didn’t know who this was but apparently she’s “principled yet ruthless” and that tracks)

#2: severus snape from harry potter

#3: mr. darcy from pride and prejudice (lmfao)

kaz brekker--

mbti: ESTJ (the executive)-- I don’t know that this is accurate because the whole first paragraph of the description is about how executives understand right/wrong and embrace honesty and tradition BUT later in the description some of it aligns: “Executives don’t work alone, and they expect their reliability and work ethic to be reciprocated – people with this personality type meet their promises, and if partners or subordinates jeopardize them through incompetence or laziness, or worse still, dishonesty, they do not hesitate to show their wrath. This can earn them a reputation for inflexibility.”

enneagram: type 3-- “They are frequently hard working, competitive and are highly focused in the pursuit of their goals... They are often self-made and usually find some area in which they can excel... They know how to present themselves, are self-confident, practical, and driven... They are good networkers who know how to rise through the ranks.” THAT’S accurate. 

hogwarts house: almost the same as holland, which is unsurprising-- 37% slytherin, then 30% ravenclaw with gryffindor and hufflepuff trailing far behind. 

what other characters are you most like:

#1: amy dunne from gone girl (lmfaoooooo)

#2: walter white from breaking bad

#3: vicious from cowboy bepop

martin blackwood--

mbti: INFJ (the advocate)-- “Advocates generally strive to do what’s right – and they want to help create a world where others do the right thing as well... Advocates may be reserved, but they communicate in a way that is warm and sensitive... Advocates might find themselves feeling especially stressed in the face of conflict and criticism. These personalities tend to act with the best of intentions, and it can frustrate them when others don’t appreciate this.” awww that’s sweet I do like that for him.

enneagram: type 2, with 6 being a close second. I definitely called that. “People of this personality type essentially feel that they are worthy insofar as they are helpful to others... Twos are warm, emotional people who care a great deal about their personal relationships, devote an enormous amount of energy to them, and who expect to be appreciated for their efforts.”

hogwarts house: 39% hufflepuff, and then the others are all fundamentally tied around 20-21% each. I’d agree with that. 

what other characters are you most like:

#1: landry clarke from friday night lights (initially i was like-- a football player? what? but then his wiki description is: “generally polite, awkward, and enjoys playing guitar” so lol ok)

#2: cameron james from 10 things i hate about you

#3: peeta mellark from the hunger games

melanie king--

mbti: ESTP (the entrepreneur)-- “Entrepreneurs keep their conversation energetic, with a good dose of intelligence, but they like to talk about what is – or better yet, to just go out and do it. Entrepreneurs leap before they look, fixing their mistakes as they go, rather than sitting idle, preparing contingencies and escape clauses.”

enneagram: like holland, she’s for sure a type 8: “Eights are strong willed, decisive, practical, tough minded and energetic.” I think the aggressive aspect of type eights is more obvious in her personality than his, though.

hogwarts house: 47% gryffindor! then, in order: slytherin, ravenclaw, hufflepuff. 

what other characters are you most like:

#1: erica sinclair from stranger things

#2: max mayfield from stranger things

#3: lois lane from smallville (yessss)

orpheus--

mbti: INFP (the mediator)-- I was actually surprised he got introverted instead of extroverted, but here we are. “Mediators’ creativity and idealism can bloom even after the darkest of seasons. Although they know the world will never be perfect, Mediators still care about making it better however they can. This quiet belief in doing the right thing may explain why these personalities so often inspire compassion, kindness, and beauty wherever they go.”

enneagram: oh, yep, he’s a type 9-- “People of this personality type essentially feel a need for peace and harmony. They tend to avoid conflict at all costs, whether it be internal or interpersonal... Nines tend to adopt an optimistic approach to life; they are, for the most part, trusting people who see the best in others; they frequently have a deep seated faith that things will somehow work out.”

hogwarts house: my sweet son is 43% hufflepuff, then gryffindor, ravenclaw, and essentially no slytherin.

what other characters are you most like:

#1: flounder from the little mermaid (ok that’s sort of rude)

#2: snow white from snow white

#3: dorothy gale from the wizard of oz (that tracks)

patroclus--

mbti: INFJ (the advocate)-- so, same as martin. “Advocates can speak with great passion and conviction, especially when standing up for their ideals. At other times, however, they may choose to be soft-spoken and understated, preferring to keep the peace rather than challenge others.” i love him sm.

enneagram: he’s a type 2, also like martin, the helper type. this half-surprises me because i thought there was maybe a chance he’d be a type 6. 

hogwarts house: it’s actually really close between hufflepuff and gryffindor? 31% and 32% respectively. then slytherin, then ravenclaw. 

what other characters are you most like:

#1: eliza hamilton from hamilton

#2: glenn rhee from the walking dead

#3: ben hargreeves from the umbrella academy

wei wuxian--

mbti: ENFP (the campaigner)-- “Campaigners, like all their Diplomat cousins, are shaped by their Intuitive (N) quality, allowing them to read between the lines with curiosity and energy... Charming, independent, energetic and compassionate, the 7% of the population that they comprise can certainly be felt in any crowd.”

enneagram: he’s my only type 7. “They tend to be extroverted, multi-talented, creative and open minded... They often have an entrepreneurial spirit and are able to convey their enthusiasm to those with whom they come in contact. When they are able to focus their talents, they are often highly successful. Focusing does not always come easily for Sevens, however.”

hogwarts house: this test says he’s 29% slytherin, 27% gryffindor, 23% hufflepuff, and 21% ravenclaw. 

what other characters are you most like:

#1: george weasley from harry potter (oh that’s genuinely really good)

#2: abby sciuto from ncis (that’s actually perfect too from what i know about ncis)

#3: nymphadora tonks from harry potter

yuri plisetsky--

mbti: ISTJ (the logistician), same as holland-- “Logistician personalities are no-nonsense, and when they’ve made a decision, they will relay the facts necessary to achieve their goal, expecting others to grasp the situation immediately and take action... To Logisticians, honesty is far more important than emotional considerations.”

enneagram: he’s type 3-- “People of this personality type need to be validated in order to feel worthy; they pursue success and want to be admired... When unhealthy, their narcissism takes an ugly turn and they can become cold blooded and ruthless in the pursuit of their goals.” lol

hogwarts house: 31% slytherin and 27% ravenclaw, then gryffindor and hufflepuff in last. 

what other characters are you most like:

#1: cordelia chase from buffy the vampire slayer (once again, hilarious)

#2: amy march from little women

#3: tahani al-jamil from the good place

[chibisquirt]

You don't have to answer, but if you wouldn't mind. What are some things you've learned about ADHD from Tumblr that are applicable to you, or others you may now? I've been reading more on it and how it manifests in girls/women and was curious when I read your rb on that post about Grammarly

I don’t mind at all!  Fair warning:  this is gonna be LONG.

I’m going to start by repeating something I mentioned in that post:  I was diagnosed in third grade, which was over two decades ago.  I had my diagnosis halfway through elementary school, much less high school and two rounds of college.  So a lot of the old information about ADHD I learned as a young person, and those things are worth exploring, too.  

Example:  It’s not that I’m not listening, Mrs. Nock, it’s just that if I try to keep my hands still, then the only thing I will retain from the lesson will be keep your hands still and not the things you trying to teach, which are supposedly important! 

(Mrs. Nock was the one who said to me, “I believe you believe you’re paying attention.”  Yes, it’s been fifteen years.  Yes, I’m still mad.  If you can’t have basic respect for your students, don’t teach.)

I figured out half on my own, half because of the counselling that if I had a fidget tool that didn’t require words I would pay better attention than if I tried to sit still.  (I still remember being mocked by my dad for fidgeting well after making that discovery, though.  Apparently diagnoses should only inform compassion when they’re his.)  On the same lines, I also figured out that music in the background wouldn’t work for me if it had words, and television is too distracting for me to use at all.  (I have a friend, though, whose ADHD works the opposite way:  he has difficulty focusing if there isn’t a television in the background.  Yes, both are valid.)

So, the Classics:  

I always had trouble with organization and cleaning, had trouble with schedules and calendars and managing my time.  Those are the things they’ll warn you about, the things they’ll tell you in counselling are natural and normal things for people with ADHD to have trouble with.  Trouble paying attention, sure.  Trouble sitting still.  Procrastination.  Got it.

But if you turn those traits around and re-frame them, they become a new set of symptoms.  Adaptations for these new symptoms are more personal and universally applicable in my life, and therefore, to my mind, more useful.

Take Procrastination.  (No really: please take it.)  That just means “putting it off until tomorrow,” and there are lots of reasons to do it:  “don’t have the tool I need” is one of the biggies, “want to conserve steps” trips me up a lot, “I still have time to get to it” is HUGE for me...  But a lot of times, these are just superficial reasons.  The re-framed symptom is, Trouble making yourself do things you don’t want to do.  

ADHD is an executive function disorder.  That’s a phrase I first learned on Tumblr, by the way; it may have been mentioned by one of my earlier counsellors, but it definitely wasn’t taught.  

This is why soooo many of us have struggled with the perception (including self-perception) that we’re lazy!  But no one tells the kid in the wheelchair he’s just lazy for not playing basketball.  (Okay, they totally do.  People are terrible.  Ignore that, stick to the point.)  I reframe this the way I do because acknowledging this as a symptom, taking the blame out of it, makes it easier to find adaptation.

Now, this is a personal post.  YMMV.  But I have an easier time managing my conduct if, instead of calling myself lazy a procrastinator, I say, “I keep not doing that --> oh it’s because I Don’t Wanna --> how can I con myself into doing it?”  (Strategies include bargaining, making it easier, powering through but then allowing yourself to stop afterwards, just acknowledging that I Don’t Wanna and allowing that to be valid...)  Procrastination is an action, but “executive function disorder” is a disease and “I Don’t Wanna” is its trigger, just as much as an allergy and a clump of ragweed are.  “Procrastination” is a powerful sphynx against which I’m helpless, but “I Don’t Wanna Disease” lets me start cultivating my metaphorical catnip and researching the answers to common riddles.

And while we’re talking about procrastination--and trouble with deadlines, and schedules in general--let’s talk about Time Insensitivity.  Missed deadlines and perpetual lateness (perpetual) are external actions, just like procrastination, and they can have all sorts of explanations.  

(Shoutout to Mrs. Pollack, who looked around a classroom containing thirteen-year-old me, and, knowing full well that I was chronically tardy, declared that “anybody who’s always running late, deep down, they just doesn’t care about anybody else’s time.”  Great job with calling the thirteen-year-old a heartless bitch, Mrs. Pollack!  As you can tell, I definitely forgot it very quickly, and didn’t at all have a self-critical breakdown about it, periodically revisiting the question of my own inherent selfishness for years!!!)

But ignoring the external actions, let’s take a compassionate look inside the head again.  Executive function includes regulation of, and awareness of the passing of, time.  Again: you can’t play the basketball with no legs.  We literally do not realize what time is doing.  Sometimes we do--if we devote enough of our attention to it, which may be a large amount for some, a small amount for others, or a variable amount for the same person.  But our brains literally don’t process it the same way.  

But hold on a minute--let’s go back to that analogy.  Because actually, people with no legs can play basketball!  It’s just that you have to use the adaptation of wheelchairs to do it--and that’s an adaptation for the game and for the players.  

I use alarms.  I’ve recently seen a post about audio memos as alarms.  There are people who just slap clocks everywhere.  When I was forced to work in a kitchen with no clocks, I used the multi-setting timer and set it for like four hours so I would know if I was keeping on schedule.  I also chose a job environment where much of my shift is the same as itself, and rigid punctuality isn’t enforced--that’s adapting my environment, instead of myself.  There’s all kinds of adaptations.  But you have to know you have the condition before you can compensate for it.

Here’s a fun little story:  when I was... oh, eleven?  Twelve?  My Quaker Meeting’s youth group (#7 whitest phrase I’ve ever written) went to the museum together.  One of the stops was in the children’s section, there was a... a pegboard, I think?  With some kind of problem on it.  A puzzle.  Me and a couple others sat down at it, and it took me a while, but eventually I solved it, and I looked up.  

I blinked.  “Where is everybody?” I said.

“They left,” said my mom.  “Half an hour ago.”  

I was stunned.  “Half an hour ago?!  But I couldn’t’ve spent more than ten minutes on this!”

“I promise you, it was half an hour.”

“Why didn’t you call me??  Why didn’t you say my name?”

“We did.  Several times.”

To this day, I will swear myself blind that I never heard a thing.

Hyperfocusing.  They’ll tell you about the problems focusing; oh yes.  They’ll tell you allll about that one.  But they won’t tell you about the flip side of it.  They won’t tell you about the times when the rest of the world falls away, and the only two things in the world are you and whatever problem you’re trying to solve.  

D’y’know what, I bet that’s the reason I test well.  I just realized this now, phrasing it like that, but--I’ve always tested well, even when my actual practical applications of things are mediocre I do well with the classroom testing on it.  I scored a 39 on the MCAT, back when it was out of 45 and not whatever it is now.  (To those with the plain good sense not to want to be doctors:  that’s pretty good.)  And I just bet it’s because, once I get focused on solving the problems, the other problems--nerves, intrusive thoughts, anxiety--just don’t have room to get in.  Hyperfocusing can be a superpower, if you can harness it.  

But it can also blind you to everything else.  And it works in smaller ways, too:  once I think I understand something, it is very difficult for me to perceive information that contradicts that understanding.  I still get the map of the Elflands backwards every time I read The Goblin Emperor, just because I pictured it one way, and every indication in the text that it was the other way just fell on deaf ears.  

And this one leads right into the next, which is Rejection Sensitivity Disorder.  RSD is hyperfocus, but it’s hyperfocus on how everyone must hate you.  It’s delightful!  I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, as well, and I do have both of those things, but for my money, I think that this one symptom of ADHD--which no doctor has ever even mentioned to me--has hurt me more than both of those conditions combined.  

The last one I’m going to bring up is Auditory Processing Disorder.  Now, I’ve gone and gotten re-diagnosed twice in my life, and the last time was just a few years ago, so they actually used this one in the test.  The psychologist told me about it, she just didn’t use the phrase Auditory Processing Disorder, and she didn’t tell me that it was its own symptom--she just used it for the test.  

What she did was, she gave me two hearing tests, one to test whether or not I could hear, and then the other a list of words that all sounded alike, and I had to mark which one I was hearing.  The second part of that was very long, and very boring, and despite scoring perfectly on the first test, I got several wrong on the second.  I was actually surprised by that; I at no point suspected I had heard any of them wrong.  When she gave me the test, told me this was proof by contradiction, that we were ruling out hearing loss as an alternative explanation for my difficulties.  It was only after the test was done that she explained that the pattern I showed was actually part of the diagnosis of ADHD; that we get bored, and stop really paying attention, and that we don’t even know we’re doing it.

...Okay, but you couldn’t have mentioned the part where I also do that every day in real life, lady?!?!  It’s not just when we’re bored, it’s not just for long processes.  I do this all the time.  I actually tell people now that “I actually have a neurological condition that makes it hard for me to hear; I can tell that you’re speaking, but I can’t tell what you’re saying.”  

This is 100% true.  It is a neurological condition.  

We label this a condition, but as a society, we don’t treat it that way.  Society treats it as yet another excuse.  It’s not.  You’re not lazy, stupid or crazy.  Neither am I.  

I have a condition.  Acknowledging that is the first step of treatment.  Not five thousand sticky notes, not binders or filing systems or even taking all the doors off the cupboards (although I definitely plan to do that one as soon as I possibly can).  Not counselling sessions with so many different people I can’t even name them all, for the love of god please understand that you can’t just fix it with pills.  

(Although mad props to the people who thought Concerta would magically solve me at the age of nine!  Spoiler alert:  it did not do that!  But it did mean that my parents felt comfortable blaming me for all my failures again, so it did at least some of what it was designed for, I guess. :) )   

I have spent the last few years re-understanding my ADHD it as is:  a neurological condition, a disability, and a simple fact of life.  A starting place, instead of yet more proof of my own inherent insufficiency.  And you know what?  When you take the blame and self-hatred out of the diagnosis--when you stop cursing it as the cause of all your problems and start trying to work with it, instead--it gets a lot easier to manage. 

[twilightofthe]

Anakin Skywalker Has ADHD.  Here’s Why:

I’ve noticed during my time as a neurodivergent person in the Star Wars community that Anakin, a favorite character of mine, displays a lot of neurodivergent traits.  Other people have noticed this too; in particular, @bpdanakins has made a really in depth and detailed post explaining how Anakin having BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) makes a whole lotta sense.  I’ve got ADHD, so this post is gonna be about how I as an ADHD individual see Anakin Skywalker as having ADHD too!!!

Note: Symptoms of ADHD include inability to focus and disorganization.  I have ADHD.  This post is gonna be a wee bit disorganized and I probs won’t be the best at citing a million sources cuz I do not have the mental focus to do that right now.  Thank ye.

So, what is ADHD? (Complicated.  The answer is complicated.) (If you don’t want the general ADHD lecture, just scroll down to where I start talking about Anakin particularly).

ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurological disorder that impairs the brain’s executive functions.  People with ADHD have trouble with impulse-control, focusing, and organization.  Basically, ADHD is a developmental weakness in how the brain manages itself.  I like to picture it like a filing cabinet.  Everyone else’s brain has a neatly sorted, labeled, and organized cabinet full of drawers that contain typical brain executive function commands.  ADHD people’s brains have a monkey in them that runs around screeching loudly, ripping labels off drawers, rearranging stuff, throwing the files everywhere, eating the papers and generally making a gigantic mess, so whatever you need to go to the drawers to look for something, it takes you ten times longer to find the mental command you need to do if it’s even still there-- and also the monkey is biting your leg the entire time.

People tend to say that this monkey infestation is a gift because sometimes, occasionally, the monkey will rearrange the papers in a different, special way that makes a beautiful picture that no one’s seen before and you can share it for the world to enjoy and everything’s great, you’re just quirky!  People tend to forget that it can be like that, but 90% of the time it’s more like the monkey has decided to take a massive shit all over the one specific paper you needed really badly and then put it in front of your foot so you step in it and don’t notice until people point out you’re tracking monkey shit paper everywhere.  Anyway.

ADHD is a complex condition and difficult to diagnose because it has so many different varying symptoms, and one person who has ADHD may experience none of the symptoms than another person who also has ADHD does and vice versa because there is a lot.  ADHD also tends to go unnoticed because it overlaps symptoms with a LOT of other mental illnesses an individual might have, so you might not even know you have ADHD if you’re also, say, autistic or bipolar, or again vice versa, because there’s a lot of “same hat” stuff going on there.  

ADHD also can have its own subcategories of mental illness that can also stand on their own, like ADHD-induced anxiety or ADHD-induced depression.  It can be really confusing to know everything going on in your head and put a label on it; for example for me, my doctors and I think I’ve got a separate anxiety disorder that works on its own that my ADHD makes worse, but that the depressive episodes I can suffer likely stem from my ADHD, and don’t need to be tackled individually or say that I have depression.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) has previously identified three subtypes of ADHD:

Primarily Hyperactive-Impulsive type: Mainly have impulse control problems, tend to be impulsive, impatient, and interrupt others.  They fidget, hate sitting still/need to be in constant movement, tend to blurt out what’s on their mind or do what they feel like without thinking it through.  They’re constantly up with the thoughts in their head and have difficulty focusing on a single task unless they’re in hyperfocus mode (explaining more later)

Primarily Inattentive type:  Are easily distracted and forgetful.  Tend to be daydreamers who lose track of memories and personal items with regularity.

Primarily Combined type: Tend to display a mixture of both symptoms.  I was diagnosed as a child with the combined type but leaning more towards inattentive.

Anakin and Signs of ADHD:

SO.  For starters, I see Anakin as primarily combined type with heavy leanings toward hyperactive-impulsivity.  While this type is used to describe the stereotypical hyper little boy media tends to paint ADHD people as, adults can have it too and I see it a lot in Anakin.  ADHD magazine ADDitude gives examples of adults with h-i ADHD as people who find difficulty in waiting around for anything, interrupt others in conversation, make impulsive decisions, and have reckless driving skills.  Sound at all like someone we know?

Now Anakin absolutely checks all of the above boxes, but it’s way more than that, though.  I looked up Healthline’s basic signs and symptoms of Adult ADHD, and I am going to run down the list to show how basically all of them apply to Anakin Skywalker in one way or another.  Let’s begin!

Anakin and LACK OF FOCUS:  ADDitude suggests that saying ADHD people don’t have attention might be a bit misleading.  More accurately, ADHD people have tons of attention, we just can’t harness it in the right direction at the right time with any consistency.  In canon, it is made very clear to us very early on that Anakin has issues with some of the more spiritual aspects of Jedi training, like meditation, because he does not possess the focus necessary to concentrate.  We get other times when Anakin’s on missions with Obi Wan, where it is made clear Anakin has read the mission brief, but he hasn’t done a good job on it as he’s overlooked something.  He gets distracted while in diplomatic situations and Obi Wan needs to tell him to pay attention.  Palpatine is able to pull sketchy shit because he knows how to slip under Anakin’s radar while he’s not too focused on him.  Anakin isn’t always aware of his surroundings, seeing as how basically everyone who knows him knows about Padmé because he’s not good at being subtle; he’s not good at reading a room.  Canon has established that Anakin, while brilliant, has a very flighty attention span and unless it’s something that is deeply important to him or made glaringly obvious, his brain has a tendency to skip over it, and makes him less aware.

Anakin and HYPERFOCUS:  The flip side of ADHD focus issues.  While our brains don’t always want to pay attention to important rules or other peoples’ emotions or basically anything presented to us that we find boring in any shape or form, if we find something we like, we LATCH.  ON.  And we cannot stop concentrating on it, up until the point that we lose track of time and ignore others around us.  In canon, it is shown very easily what Anakin hyperfocuses on.  He’s described in several SW books and is shown in show and movies to completely go into a zone when in combat mode.  He’s good at it, he enjoys it, and saber skills is easily something that he can concentrate and get lost in.  Another obvious one is mechanics.  We see briefly in TCW and bits in the movies where when Anakin is fixing something or piloting something, he kind of drifts away from reality-- he’s got an ear on the situation if there’s danger of course, but he goes just solidly into Tech Mode where all he concentrates on is whatever he’s fixing/piloting at the moment, and that’s why he’s so skilled at what he does.  It’s also possible to hyperfocus on specific ideas or opinions, which you can see in basically every argument Anakin ever gets into with someone.  He’s like a dog with a bone on a topic he wants to discuss Right Now This Very Second and he will not let it go, nor will he allow you to either, because when we hyperfocus, our fixation can bleed into conversation until it takes control of the conversation, without us even knowing we’re doing it, so it can be surprising/embarrassing when someone points out we’re doing it. 

Anakin and DISORGANIZATION:  ADHD people basically struggle with organizational skills.  While we don’t see much of Anakin’s living spaces, we can see from the brief TCW snippets that his living quarters are a little cluttered.  However, he does run a relatively neat army-- though we don’t know how much of that has Rex, Ahsoka, Obi Wan, or someone else to thank for it.  In Anakin, most of the disorganization we see is in his mind.  Priorities can be an issue for ADHD people, and Anakin tends to prioritize the wrong thing at the wrong time at certain points.  He doesn’t always know what to say or how to say it, making him awkward and not very eloquent when speaking.

Anakin and TIME MANAGEMENT PROBLEMS: An issue that goes hand-in-hand with disorganization.  We have trouble using time effectively.  We procrastinate on things we don’t want to do, show up late, ignore things we consider boring, and the idea of the future or the past is overwhelming and or scary to us and can cause panic-- we need to focus on the now and the now alone because if we try to cross that bridge before we get to it, we might end up burning it.  All throughout TCW, we get Obi Wan in particular, but others as well, harping on Anakin for showing up late.  And, uh, he kinda does.  He makes it, he always does, but it’s always at the last minute just when everyone’s worried he’s not gonna show up.  He sometimes doesn’t go to important meetings.  He puts off paperwork.  Lots of people use all of this to make fun of him, be like “ah, he’s a bad Jedi, he’s lazy”, but like, that’s standard ADHD time management issues.  And fear of the future?  Hoo boy...  Anakin may handle his fears of the future in the literal worst way possible, but that overwhelming anxiety that everything’s rushing at you so fast and holy shit, you don’t have your shit together NOW, what the hell are you gonna do THEN, holy shit holy shit everyone’s gonna DIE PANIC PANIC DANGER PANIC--  Like, I get that.  I really do.  Fear of the future and inability to manage time overlap a lot.

Anakin and FORGETFULNESS:  ADHD have a tendency to forget important stuff, but here is where I remind y’all that not all ADHD people experience all the same symptoms, because Anakin actually has a really damn good memory.  Boy is sharp, he recalls really obscure stuff, and if you piss him off/do him a favor, he’s remembering that to his deathbed. Anakin, however, does display what is common in ADHD people, having a selective memory.  This goes hand in hand with our attention issues.  We remember what we focused on and that sticks in our mind: hopes, fears, interests, stuff like that.  Anything else?  Eh, if we didn’t notice it then, we’re not noticing it five years from then, or even five minutes from then.  That you can see in Anakin, where people like Ahsoka and Obi Wan have to teasingly remind him of important stuff that he tends to just shrug off like “oh yeah that thing that I didn’t care about then and don’t really care about now”, or he feels guilty cuz “oops I didn’t notice it then so now I’m lost”

Anakin and IMPULSIVITY: Aight y’all, this probably requires the least amount of explanation for Anakin Skywalker cuz the Star Wars narrative calls him impulsive like every ten seconds xD  ADHD people with impulsivity can be socially inappropriate (Anakin, always managing to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, king of escalating tense situations because he blurts out whatever he feels like), interrupt others (something Padmé and Ahsoka have both canonically called him on doing, he does it to plenty of others as well, Vader does it all the damn time by just force-choking people silent), rushing through tasks (”Oh Anakin, always on the move”.  He does not wait, he makes up plans as he goes, he’s constantly in motion), ACTING WITHOUT MUCH CONSIDERATION TO THE CONSEQUENCES (Examples: The entirety of Star Wars episodes 1-6, Star Wars: The Clone Wars)

Anakin and EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS: Alright, maybe THIS is the one that requires the least amount of explanation, haha.  ADHD peoples’ emotions seem constantly in flux.  We get bored easily and need constant entertainment. (Anakin running off doing crazy stuff seemingly for fun)  Small frustrations always feel like the end of the world because it takes over our entire brain. (Anakin being “overdramatic/overreacting”)  The slightest sense of rejection or negativity towards our ideas or anything we do can read as total hatred (this is called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, it SUCKS) so we’re oversensitive about criticism of basically anything.  RSD also means we’re paranoid that we’re not noticing other people’s emotions, so we always tend to worry everyone else hates us or our friends are going to leave us-- we have serious abandonment issues. (Basically all of Anakin worrying about the Jedi’s image of him, worrying about Padmé and Obi Wan loving him, freaking out over Ahsoka leaving, etc.)  Our mind is focusing on a million things at once so our emotions run super quickly, causing what looks like mood swings because in the time it takes someone to get surprised, we’ve already gone through surprise, confusion, realization, betrayal, fury, and sadness and are now “randomly” crying in front of you (Anakin and his mood swings).  Focus issues make us not realize that something we’re doing is upsetting/bothering someone unless they flat out say it, so we may seem mean/inconsiderate/careless (ok, not excusing that part of Anakin’s personality is that he’s just kind of a dick lol, but other stuff that he does seems accidental; he doesn’t want to hurt anyone he loves).

Anakin and POOR SELF-IMAGE:  HOOOO BOY THIS IS GONNA BE FUN!  So adults with ADHD are often hypercritical of themselves, which can lead to a poor self-image.  I do this a lot, and I can’t really explain why, just that I am frustrated with myself and need validation from outside sources.  Anakin verbally expresses this to Padmé and Palpatine in Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith especially with all his “I’m not the Jedi I’m supposed to be” bits, how he constantly puts pressure on himself in the novels to be “the very best, I have to be better than everyone, I SHOULD be”, the conflict with that Chosen One label and whether he believes it or not and the pressure he feels from others to fulfill it, to be the Hero With No Fear when he’s fucking terrified all the time.  He’s relentlessly hard on himself for his failures and is always looking for an insult in others’ words (Like if Obi Wan gives him gentle concrit, Anakin will subconsciously tear it apart to turn it into how Obi Wan has found an error with all of him and hates him and Anakin sucks). For all his pride in his abilities, Anakin really does not like himself, poor dear, and seeks outside validation in Padmé, Palpatine, and Obi Wan.

Anakin and LACK OF MOTIVATION: Also ties back to focus issues again, if we don’t like it, our brain won’t focus on it, and we can’t convince ourselves to do it.  We can see this in times where Anakin has to be gently (or not so gently) prodded by Obi Wan or Ahsoka or someone into doing some Jedi business Anakin considers annoying.

Anakin and RESTLESSNESS AND ANXIETY: It’s described as our “motor won’t shut off”.  We always need to keep moving and doing things, and we get frustrated when we can’t do something immediately.  There are also bodily tics with fidgeting or frequent hand movements.  We see this several times with Anakin during wartime, where he’s practically vibrating over having to play the long waiting game instead of rushing in and getting the job done immediately (See: on Naboo where Anakin is pacing a hole into the floor and Obi Wan is telling him to kindly chill pls).  Part of his issues in ROTS happen when he’s worked himself up into a frenzy over sitting not knowing what to do over what’s scaring him so he jumps the gun and goes with the first available (awful) option.  I don’t remember if this is Hayden or if this is me projecting, sorry, but I always feel that when I watch Hayden in the movies, he always portrays Anakin as vaguely squirmy/fidgety, not really ever sitting PERFECTLY still, like he’s always moving some body part, fiddling with something in his hands or on his clothes.  In TCW and the OT especially, we see how hand-wavey he is when he talks, especially when he’s pissed, then the Finger Wag Of Doom comes out, but his hands are ALWAYS in motion.

Anakin and FATIGUE: It’s as the word describes it, we feel tired.  All the craziness in our head is overwhelming and we just.  Feel.  Tired.  We don’t see this as clearly in Anakin because all the Jedi seem fatigued, they’re fighting a fucking hopeless war, but it’s definitely there.  He has sleeping problems with his dreams and nightmares that spawn from his anxiety that could easily be ADHD-induced; they’re there.

Anakin and HEALTH PROBLEMS: Long story short, it’s basically all your ADHD issues making you neglect to take care of yourself.  We see how Anakin has unhealthy coping mechanisms, neglects sleep, and throws himself into reckless, dangerous situations.  He does not take care of himself very well at all.

Anakin and RELATIONSHIP ISSUES:  Ruh roh...  Aight, so all of the symptoms above can very obviously prove to be hurdles in professional, romantic, or platonic situations.  We can see how all the above examples in Anakin have in one way or another caused an argument between himself and basically everyone he loves (Obi Wan, Padmé, Ahsoka), people he has to work with (the Jedi council, anyone he gets assigned to on a mission), and anyone else.  He’s not called a human disaster for no reason, his actions can make him rub people very much the wrong way, and being kind of lonely and awkward and with not many friends is unfortunately a common occurrence in the lives of ADHD people (It happened to me, and I would consider myself much more of a pleasant individual than Anakin (no offense, hon), other people who met me just thought I was “strange” and that was that).

WHEW.  So yes, all of the above state my reasons why I think Anakin Skywalker has ADHD (as well as anxiety, but that’s another post).  Please remember once more that these are MY EXPERIENCES AS AN INDIVIDUAL WITH ADHD and that once again, NOT ALL ADHD PEOPLE SHARE THE SAME EXPERIENCES/SYMPTOMS

I will give the two articles I bothered fact-checking with below, the one from Healthline and from ADDitude

If y’all wanna talk more about ADHD!Anakin or any other ADHD Star Wars characters or just neurodivergent Star Wars character headcanons with me, my inbox and DM’s are always open, I love talking about this!!!!!!!!!

[misterbitches]

Predictions for I told sunset about you?

Hmmmm so there’s a couple things. How it could go according to them being faithful to their own storytelling and its construction (IE the energy the cast and crew puts in and the execution) and that doesn’t always mesh with “predictions.” So I’m just gonna ramble my b.

I also try to seperate predictions with what I want but if I’m thinking in the way that the story needs to stay true to itself there’s options some, for me, better than others.

Like, it’s completely plausible they end up staying friends and nothing more though they acknowledge their feelings. I think that would make sense on a creative and technical level; it would also mean a lot in terms of youth, growing up, and the beauty of life. Then there’s the understanding that friendship and love mean living in harmony not competition.

However, that’s a really unsatisfying ending. I don’t know about the couple nor the drama they had before this and I’m going to assume it sucked (because let’s be real) so I figure some people would be sad if they ended parting. I think it wouldn’t be a waste of time it would just be sad. 

A lot of times stories of youth love to do this because it reflects “reality” and I sincerely think people, who are mostly older, think it’s a more poignant ending. It can be, but there’s also mysticism and beauty in high school sweethearts. The setting is so idyllic and beautiful it would be very nice to see them together.

I would abhor and I mean really fucking hate a time skip which many dramas do, especially about being younger. I hate it so much because I think it’s lazy but that could happen too. Leaving it open-ended is fine, too, but it’s just another thing where it’s like....why? 

My pessimism is fighting with my optimism. I don’t want to get my hopes up for something whimsical—though the piece could absolute do with it—but I also think why not? Why can’t we?

This is a miniseries essentially and if done right they can be very cinematic. This one is proving to be decently so. It’s totally plausible within the next hour and so four episodes that they go through their ups and downs from preparing for the test and college. Reality isn’t always negative. In fact, I don’t really see a point in living if we don’t get what we want in some way.

Let’s push away the ending for now, this is how I can see things happening: obviously getting closer, Bas noticing their connection (the first ep when Tay goes to Oh-Aew and he sees is pretty indicative), I can see him possibly rejecting him also because bringing your best friend on a date with you is fucking ridiculous jesus christ. 

I can also see exploring past feelings. What their past relationship possibly meant for them or Oh-Aew since I believe the set-up is indicating that he felt something. And uhhhhh just them getting closer and I would like to think they were close enough to be honest with their feelings, eventually since they fucking cry so much it’s insane. 

There’s how that could possibly end up but now I’m thinking about Bas and though I think that won’t work out (regardless of the ending) I hope it’s done in a way where he can preserve his self-esteem. And a situation in which the individuals can be true to themselves. 

That would be, to me: getting into school or studying if you don’t pass again, keeping friendships, Oh-aew gaining self-confidence because parents suck, them getting better at acting and cherishing their friends. I am pretty sure regardless this will happen. SO THAT’S MY PREDICTION THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER BUT I CAN’T GIVE ONE. What I want to happen is all of that but also they get together and kiss thank you amen

Oh but actually from the trailer it looks like they are gonna stay together or they discuss their future. Putting a hand on each other’s lap, doing the rose thing, and, most importantly, discussing what will happen to them. I can guarantee all of us regular friends don’t do that nor do they ask questions about the future like that cause they’re busy and have things to do. I am assuming they applied to the same college? I’m American IDK how these things work but seeing as they were at the same audition I’m gonna assume there’s like one Julliard or whatever by them and they would go to the same college.  And the beach part or whatever on the rocks is like so typically romantic that it would be actually comical to subvert that from a trailer that was 10 million minutes long (was it that long? I don’t remember.)

I’m also coming back to this to say that love shouldn’t be prioritized over friendship. All relationships are special and all people are. Growing up is really about realizing you can’t center one person for your self-esteem; the two of them (Tay and Oh-Aew) had a long time apart which could be a very good thing. Kids really do fight all the time and if you’re going through the public school system or your town is small whatever you can reconnect. 

It’s possible for someone to like multiple people but realize that it works more with one person than another. That is very plausible since it’s pretty clear that Tay and Oh-aew have sort of different recollections. They mentioned coming of age in an interview and that’s exactly what this is and it’s really important to put personal growth and happiness and connections to other people while being able to tell a romantic story. 

It’s kind of like....no one knows what they’re doing at that age so why the hell would we as viewers either lol. Another thing that’s interesting is this is centered around them being artists, actors specifically, and they are some of the most self conscious people on the fucking planet. You can tell since the beginning went that way. I think that’s funny. They’re annoying. I was a theater girl I know.

[carelessgraces]

okay so the point i was going for yesterday:

    this series thrives on its difficult choices and origins was hands-down the best developed to handle questions of grey morality and impossible options. it didn’t always play out perfectly with the mechanics of it being a video game, so you know you’ve gotta be okay at the end of it, but: choosing whether or not to leave a possessed connor behind in an absolutely ravaged redcliffe, for the two-plus weeks it would take to get to the circle and come back with mages? it’s “save a child” versus “save an entire town.” bhelen is genuinely terrifying in that he has all the makings of a complete tyrant — actually literally officially executing his political opponents, repeatedly, and shutting down the only avenue for effective discussion and disagreement — but he’s also exactly what orzammar needs in terms of both social and economic progress. the brecilian forest was a little easier for me — “kill the dalish” isn’t a good option, ever, and when it comes down to kill zathrian and lift the curse vs. kill the werewolves, the former is clearly the choice you’re meant to make? to limit damage in the future, and continued damage now. the mage tower is the hardest, i think, to call effectively morally grey, because there really isn’t anything to suggest that the tower HAS to be annulled? because there’s no indication that if it’s not, the people outside the tower are in serious danger. and by the time you’ve finished everything, you know who is and isn’t possessed, you’ve literally seen it, so annulling the tower at that stage is just kinda evil.

    choosing anora or alistair is another really difficult one because anora proves time and again that she’s either not as competent as she says she is, or she has no moral backbone of which to speak ( because it all comes down to the tevinter presence in the alienage: if she isn’t aware that an agreement to sell elves into slavery has been signed by her father, who does not have an official title besides the one he’s given himself and certainly not one that would be recognized by most foreign powers, that means that she’s not paying a lick of attention to the sudden influx of money in the treasury, to pay for a civil war of her father’s making, or to the actual literal slave trade happening literally under her nose. if she knows and does nothing about it — which seems a lot more likely given that she a.) erects a statue in loghain’s honor after the blight if she rules alone, enslaved elves be damned and b.) has violent clashes with the alienage due to food shortages only if she rules alone, all of which indicate a measure of indifference at best toward the most vulnerable people in ferelden, but i’ll yell about that on my da multi rather than here — she’s willing to bide her time and allow elves, including elven children, to be shipped off to tevinter and enslaved, or she only cares when she can use it politically. but anora is also better trained than alistair, anora has more experience than alistair, and what the country needs is some measure of stability. however, ethically, she really has no place in power over anyone. choosing alistair is potentially disastrous because despite the fact that he’s a really, really, really good man, he has no political training, no experience, and will likely be manipulated by eamon, who we really should be able to let die.

    and the anora / alistair choice is probably the one most similar to the templar / mage choice in inquisition. on the one hand you have a force that will fit in neatly with the structure in place, that will most likely get the most done the quickest, and that will provide some measure of consistency for the people and in gaining allies across the board. this force has proven itself cruel, either through the active choice of cruelty or indifference to the point of cruelty, and offers the most effective results but only if you’re willing to really, really do the ethically fucked up thing. on the other hand, you have a group of refugees fleeing centuries of violent oppression, whose organization is better suited for a university than for a war, who genuinely terrify most civilians, and who would need to be heavily trained. they are, hands down, the ethically correct choice — protecting the oppressed rather than siding with their oppressors, bringing about real change and progress — but logistically and politically speaking it’s kind of a crapshoot. and i think, i think, that if this had been built up in much the way that anora vs alistair was built up — one is a good moral choice, one is a good political choice, you can’t have both at the start but you can hope they’re influenced in the right way — it would have been a lot more effective? and on the fan side: i have a lot more trouble getting people invested in a pro-templar inquisitor than a pro-mage inquisitor, which is fair because i agree that allying with the mages is the right thing to do, and i don’t blame anyone at all for their discomfort with a pro-templar inquisitor. but i think that it’s because this got pitched to us as a moral dilemma when it wasn’t one, and the way that this was made into a “moral dilemma” was by rewriting a lot of 2. 

     because pushing “anders was a terrorist” is... lazy at best? and i’m sorry for being pedantic but this is a major pet peeve: anders does not engage in a campaign of terror. he engages first in peaceful protest, then in physical defense of people, and the explosion at the chantry is both a last resort and is actively timed to avoid collateral damage. terrorism, by definition, requires the terrorist to engage in that kind of act with the explicit intent of terrorizing civilians to force a state or institution to grant the terrorist’s demands. anders set off the explosion at a time when there were few people in the chantry — not during a service of any kind, not when people were paying attention to the chantry, but when their attention was elsewhere. he made a point of limiting casualties, and the act was done exclusively to prevent a slaughter, after nearly a decade of trying literally everything else. ( on the flip side, in inquisition we literally have sebastian inform the inquisition that he intends to invade kirkwall — not because he thinks hawke and anders can be found there, but because he wants to terrorize the civilians until hawke and anders surrender. so we do have an example of how this can be used in warfare, in-game, with the same players, and they’re two vastly different approaches. ) so to make the “anders was a terrorist” line make more sense they insisted on massive numbers of casualties from the explosion, they undermined hawke’s support of anders by default, and they made the explosion at kirkwall out to be the spark for the mage rebellion, when we know from the books that this wasn’t the case at all. so it’s a lot of retconning to try and make the mage-templar choice in 2 a morally difficult one, when we know it isn’t, and when the game doesn’t allow it to be. because love or hate anders, senselessly slaughtering a tower full of mages after a decade-plus of rampant abuses, which are horrifying and canonically confirmed by templars every chance the game has, it really doesn’t stand up to any sort of scrutiny. the only real moral dilemma in “the last straw” is whether or not to execute anders ( tho i’ve never been able to do it, it is set up to be a difficult choice, and it’s much more effective ). 

     anyway i’m not sure how to sum this up tidily but the gist of it is that i think the mage-templar choice in inquisition is best understood as a parallel for the anora-alistair choice in origins, rather than the mage-templar choice in 2?

[dinfeanoriel]

Karma

This one’s for you, @tuxedoelf! It took a completely different turn than expected, but I hope it’s enjoyable! 

~~~~

It’d started out lighthearted enough. A little tease here and there, a subtle joke, a bit of a nudge, and a hint of a jest. 

Warrior took it in good nature. After all, the Links deserved some fun after everything they’d lived through and done. 

This did not mean he didn’t experience a sense of exasperated annoyance when the meticulous knight would wake to find one or more of his items misplaced or hidden. It was often to the snickering face of Legend, the shy and smiling one of Hyrule, the giggling of Wind and the purposefully oblivious Wild that gave away the fact that the pranksters had done something while he’d been resting. 

They did respect their boundaries and for that, Warrior was most grateful. They never once touched his scarf, knowing of the importance and sanctity it held to the Captain. However, Warrior never did understand why it was him they often targeted. 

Did he give them some sort of satisfaction they couldn’t otherwise receive from the others? He knew why they avoided playing tricks on Time. The Old Man was difficult to read. He was stern, stoic, and their elected leader but there were moments where his deep, rumbling laughter could be heard over the others and his eye would gleam with unrestrained merriment and amusement. He did have a sense of humor the Links had discovered later on in their journey but most were still unsure how the leader would take to pranks or jokes being directed at him. 

Warrior figured Time would merely brush them aside or possibly send a casual barb their way. It wouldn’t surprise him. Or Time would level them with his infamous cool, brooding, stare that left the Links withering from within and wilting on the outside until a smirk would steadily grow on the Old Man’s face. 

Warrior suspected Time knew exactly what kind of effect he had on them and often used it to his advantage. He also had to wonder whether or not the older Hero did it on purpose. It wouldn’t surprise him in the least. 

Over time, Warrior gradually became weary of the jokes, pranks, and teasing remarks of his fellow Heroes but he neither said nor did anything to dissuade them. How could he? When he set eyes on Wind’s beaming smile and brightly lit face...Wild’s muted show of amusement and the mischievous sparkle in those cerulean blues...the look of mirth and glee Hyrule timidly revealed...the lightness he recognized in Legend’s form led Warrior to believe it was worth the daily jabs and high jinks. 

That was…

Until a particular incident. 

It was this...episode... that made Warrior execute a strategic retreat before striking back without warning. The others never saw it coming. This, the Knight used to his advantage. The Captain had several tricks up his sleeve he couldn’t wait to unveil. 

Time had decided the group had covered an acceptable amount of distance for that day and called for them to set up camp. Wind, of course, was more than relieved. Once finished gathering tinder and unfolding his bedroll, the Sailor flung himself down and refused to move. Wild immediately whipped up a fire and proceeded to ponder what meal to cook for that night. Twilight prowled around, checking the perimeter and securing their spot. Sky was scribbling away in the journal he always carried with Hyrule dozing off beside him. 

Legend scraped a knife along a stick he’d found, idly smoothing the gnarled and crooked wood to combat his boredom. Warrior knew he was too lazy to find something else to occupy himself with. He couldn’t blame him. They’d walked an exceptional ways and battled at least four varying groups of monsters. 

Four, the most colorful of them all, appeared to be deep in thought as he diligently read through a book he’d purchased not too long ago. The Hero often bartered, sold, or traded items or books he’d completed for new ones he could bring along with him. There were times where he would pause and murmur quietly to himself, discussing the contents and replying to whatever invisible voice was responding to him. 

It had been a strange sight to see near the beginning of their travels, but now, the Heroes simply accepted it and never questioned Four of this odd habit of his. 

“Warrior,” 

Warrior blinked slowly when the deep, rumbling voice of Time broke through his thoughts and sent them scattering. The Knight straightened and turned to find Time looking to him expectantly. 

Ah...He must have said something to him and the Captain hadn’t heard him. 

“What was that?” Warrior asked, an apology clear in his tone. 

Time gestured meaningfully to the water pouches and canteens the Heroes had laid out, “I asked if you and Twilight would be willing to refill these for us.” 

Warrior was already up and moving before Time could finish his request. He’d always had that drop-everything attitude the Heroes sometimes found amusing and other times admirable. It didn’t matter what Warrior was doing, he was always willing to stop whatever he was occupied with to lend them a hand. 

“Sure thing,” 

Time gave a nod of thanks and Warrior and Twilight gathered the near empty pouches. Accompanied by Epona, the three made their way to a rushing river nearby. To Warrior’s disapproval, Twilight shouldered a pack and stubbornly refused to drop it even when his collarbone protested beneath the strain.

Due to limited potions and fairies, the Links had unanimously determined not to use any unless the wound sustained was severe or there was a great need for them. They weren’t certain when the next opportunity to restock would arise which unfortunately made it difficult for them to estimate whether or not an injury was worth the risk. 

A sudden warp into a new world had caught the Heroes off guard only a couple days earlier. Twilight had taken the brunt of it and ended up with a broken collarbone. It had been snapped clean in half due to a terrible fall he’d taken and Warrior made the call for him to drink a little bit of the Red Potion he carried at all times. Twilight still suffered from the remnants of a concussion- courtesy of his fall- but it was not as bad as it could have been. 

Hopefully, future transports into new worlds would not be as...chaotic and painful. 

Warrior discreetly watched Twilight in the corner of his eye. To his astonishment, even Epona would glance at her Master with concern when she sensed the spike of discomfort and subdued pain he didn’t outwardly express. 

After catching sight of Twilight suppressing a wince, his neutral features contorting faintly, Warrior decided enough was enough. 

Holding a hand out, Warrior ordered, “Give it here.” 

The authoritative tone caught Twilight off guard and the Ordonian paused to give him a look of slight surprise and confusion. Understanding quickly dawned on him, however, and Twilight shook his head. 

Warrior was often struck by how much he resembled Wolfie when he would shake his large head and whip his mane back and forth. 

“I’m fine, Warrior-” 

“It wasn’t a question, Twi,” 

Twilight leveled him with a stare. One Warrior met head on while Epona watched, interested in seeing who would win the silent battle taking place. 

Of course, as Warrior expected, Twilight expelled a sigh and reluctantly slid the heavy pack from his shoulder. Warrior immediately snatched it before Twilight could take it back and flung it around his own shoulders. The Knight could have sworn the majestic horse wilted in relief as she fondly nudged Twilight’s good arm, earning a small smile from the Ordonian as he raised a hand to rub her nose. 

“You agitating your wound isn’t going to help us in the nearby future, Twi,” Warrior chided as they continued their trek to the racing river. The rapid waters cascaded down a rocky cliff, the thunderous sound of it spilling into waters below filling the air almost deafeningly. There was a steep incline downwards full of sharp and jagged rocks of varying sizes the water would crash through or mercilessly glide over. 

It was a picturesque scene. The clear, stormy, waters of the river surrounded by vibrant flowers and luscious green grass. The foam gathering at the bottom of the waterfall and the crystal-like sands forming the banks... Already, the tenseness in the Knight lessened and disappeared as he basked in the refreshing and lightness of the atmosphere. 

With a faint, relaxed smile, Warrior and Twilight descended the small hill and tugged the water pouches out to begin refilling. 

A comfortable silence fell between them, the soothing melody of the racing waters serving as a balm to the building stress, battle-weariness, and exhaustion as the two tugged out the water pouches and dipped them into the river. 

Warrior reveled in the peace and quiet. One-by-one, he submerged the pouches and canteens, filling them to the brim. He set them aside and reached for the last one- 

- only to grasp at air. 

Confused, Warrior turned to find he was less one canteen. Looking to and fro, Warrior frowned when he realized he could not locate the missing canteen anywhere near him. 

“Hey, Twi,” He called. 

A hum drifted in from his left. 

“Do you know where-” He cut off with a startled cry when Epona suddenly reared with a shrill whinny and bucked, her strong body knocking into the person nearest her. 

Warrior was given no time to react. He’d been perched precariously on the water’s edge, balanced on his feet, and the impact was enough to knock him off kilter and send him flailing into the rushing river. 

There was a roaring in his ears as currents dragged him further in and the turbulent waters swelled around him. He barely heard Twilight shouting his name when he broke through the surface several meters away, coughing and spluttering. The river slammed mercilessly into him, threatening to overwhelm and yank him back under. It was only after a few failed attempts that Warrior managed to rip himself out of the stronger currents and into the less fiercer ones. 

Through blurry eyes, Warrior could faintly see a dark blur shooting down the bank towards him. 

Wolfie. 

He was barking sharply, paws grazing the sand as he sprinted towards him, and incredibly blue eyes fixed on the poor, drenched, Knight with open concern. 

Where had Wolfie come from? 

Warrior supposed it didn’t matter. The great beast leaped into the river and kicked fervently through the foaming waters to the Knight with hardly any trouble. 

In the middle of another coughing fit, the dazed Warrior felt the wolf grab hold of the back of his tunic with his powerful jaw and pull him purposefully towards the shore. 

Warrior shakily drew himself to his feet into a slouched position. Coughs still wracked his body due to the water that he’d swallowed when he’d first gone under and he leaned against Wolfie for support, his left hand digging into the thick, soggy, fur. 

Wolfie released a soft, worried, whine and Warrior weakly waved his free hand in the air to dismiss his concerns. 

“I’m fine..!” He managed to rasp out between breaths. They sloshed through the shallow end of the river, making for the bank when Warrior felt a strong arm wrap around his shoulders and gently guide him forward. 

A familiar, deep and authoritative voice broke the silence with a question, 

“What happened?” 

Warrior attempted to clear his throat to answer, but he swallowed wrong and choked on his reply. Screwing his eyes shut, Warrior waited for his screaming lungs to settle and allow him to breathe properly. 

A large, calloused, hand clapped him on the back a few times, helping him to clear his straining airways. 

“Epona startled,” Came Twilight’s voice from Warrior’s left, “I don’t know what scared her, but she knocked Warrior into the river and he got caught up in the currents.” 

Warrior blinked owlishly, his bafflement and disorientation rising. When did Twilight get there? Where did Wolfie go? 

His chest rattled as the Captain took deep gulps of fresh air. He raised a hand to his kvetching throat, blinking his eyes clear. 

“Ugh,” He groaned, thanking the Goddess he could now speak, “That felt awful.” 

“I’d imagine,” Twilight murmured sympathetically, lightly gripping Warrior’s shoulder, “I was worried you’d be swept away!” 

Warrior didn’t know how to reply to Twilight. He hadn’t been scared or worried. His mind had gone instantly blank the instant he’d fallen in. His survival instincts had kicked in, leading to his flailing and floundering to stay afloat and keep his head above the surface. That was all that had mattered to him. 

“If it weren’t for Wolfie, I might have been,” Was what he settled with, “That wolf sure is a lifesaver, especially for us Links.” 

He didn’t see the small grin lining Time’s lips or the the way Twilight rubbed at the back of his neck. 

“We are notorious for getting into trouble,” Time agreed, a hint of amusement in his tone. Warrior wasn’t sure what he found particularly funny, but he supposed it hardly mattered, “Twilight, fetch your horse. Warrior and I are going to make for camp.” 

Warrior could have sighed with relief. His chest hurt and his ribs ached. He looked forward to being able to rest a bit and get some shut-eye. 

“I think I know what startled her,” Twilight growled, drawing their attention. The Ordonian bent down to swipe at something on the ground, bringing it up for them both to see. 

A canteen. 

Warrior’s brow wrinkled, “How did that get there? I could have sworn I had all of them when-” 

And then it hit him. 

His expression flat-lined and exasperation bubbled within him. Time mirrored him, a deep frown marring his features. 

“Another prank...” 

~~~~

“You look like a drowned rat, Warrior,” Legend snickered upon his, Time, and Twilight’s arrival to the camp. Time looked sharply to him with his infamous stern and disapproving expression, ready to rebuke their fellow companion when the Knight retorted swiftly, 

“And yet, I still manage to look better than you, Gremlin,” 

To this, Legend had no reply. The snarky Hero was left to brood silently to himself while the others snickered. 

Time led himself and Warrior across the camp with his hand on the Knight’s shoulder. It was his subtle way of expressing concern and relief. Warrior had discovered this earlier on. While Time wasn’t the most expressive of heroes, there were nonverbal signals and slight nuances in the shifts in his demeanor and eye that gave away what the older Hero was feeling.

After Warrior took a seat, he thanked Time for his trouble. Time only smiled faintly, ruffled his hair a little, and walked away. 

Twilight moved to settle beside the Captain, displeasure rolling off him in waves. 

“Warrior-” The Ordonian began but Warrior cut him off with a wave of his hand. Bearing a grin, Warrior met Twilight’s eye and murmured, 

“Don’t worry. I’ll get them back.” 

The ominous statement intrigued Twilight and the older teen huffed out a small chuckle, a smirk of his own matching the Knight’s. 

“Well, let me know if I can be of any service.” 

This caught Warrior off guard and when he looked to Twilight, wondering if his concussion might have possibly messed with his head more than he’d let on, Twilight indignantly defended himself, 

“What? The Cub needs to be taught a lesson or two.” 

“Ha!” 

~~~~

Warrior spent the next few days conjuring up ideas for revenge. He thought long and hard, mulling scenario after scenario in his mind, casting them aside and crafting new ones. He picked at each and every single possibility, altering details and changing it up in an attempt to forge the perfect comeback. 

He never did find one that he liked. What could he do? It had to be something that would make the pranksters think twice about messing with him.

At night when they would settle for camp, Warrior could often be seen scribbling in his journal with a stark frown. He made lists only to scrap them, drew little scenes only to toss them, and wrote ideas only to dispose of them. 

With a frustrated sigh, Warrior snapped his journal shut and sat back against the log behind him. Nothing he came up with satisfied him. 

His gaze wandered idly to where Wild was preparing their meal. The teen was humming a catchy little tune while he cooked, tapping his foot and bobbing his head along with the rhythm. Faster than should be possible, he had their plates ready and was in the process of setting them around the campfire under Warrior’s supervision. 

When Wild reached him, Warrior could tell from the gleam in his eyes that something was up. 

With a broad, almost shy grin, Wild handed Warrior his plate. Wild didn’t speak much unless he wanted to. He wasn’t necessarily silent and nonverbal but Warrior had taken to understanding the silent language Wild often took to communicating in. 

The younger teen was actually quite hilarious and told the most fascinating of stories that captivated even Warrior himself.

 The Knight accepted the plate with a nod of thanks then watched the much-too-innocent Wild leave with brewing suspicion. When his distrustful, calculating, gaze flit to the meal he held, Warrior knew. 

Wild had put something in it. 

Immediately wary, Warrior recoiled and held the deceptively delightsome meal further away from him. His face screwed up as he wondered at what Wild could have injected in his food. It looked so enticing and had such a pleasant aroma but Warrior knew better. Could he have put in monster guts? Bugs? Fairies? 

With a grimace, lips curling back in disgust, Warrior quickly put his plate on the ground and pushed it away with the toe of his boot when a thought crossed his mind. 

The Knight paused, snatching at the idea and tugging it forward to analyze it. 

With a sly, victorious, grin, Warrior realized this was an ingenious way to pay those fools back for all they’d put him through. 

Looking to the plate Wild had set beside him, Warrior swiftly swooped down and swapped his meal for it.  His sudden movement momentarily garnered Sky’s attention, but when Warrior leaned back, folding his arms behind his head with a pleased grin, figured it was nothing of great import and returned back to his conversation with Twilight. 

Luckily for Warrior, he didn’t have to wait long for everyone to start trickling in to the campsite. Cerulean blues snapped to each individual Hero, wondering which of the nine would sit themselves to Warrior’s left, unknowing of the terrible fate that awaited them.  Warrior took a bite of his food, noticing how closely Wild, Wind, Hyrule, and Legend were watching him. They tried to be discreet about it, but Warrior’s eye was trained to catch onto the smallest and most insignificant of details and never brush them aside. 

Smugness arose within him but he was careful not to openly display it. Those fools...He would play them well.  He proceeded to take another bite, pretending not to notice them. A difficult feat. He could feel their attentive stares boring into him. He pulled back, setting his utensils down and chewed. He paused for dramatic effect, trying not to show his increasing amusement when the four Links leaned forward expectantly, intently awaiting his reaction.  No doubt they were eagerly anticipating a profound one.  Well, it would not be his reaction they would be witnessing today. No, it would be some poor, unfortunate, soul Warrior had swapped his plate with. Secretly, he festered the hope that it would be one of the very pranksters themselves. But as luck would have it… That was not to be…  Time finally arrived with Four trailing beside him. Their elected leader entered the encampment, his very presence expanding and enveloping the area. Warrior would be lying if he claimed he didn’t feel safer with the Old Man present.  Yet his curiosity was eating at him! Warrior wanted to know who would decide to sit beside him! That was… Until Time moved around the campfire, coming closer and closer. Warrior’s heart began to thunder and his stomach twisted and churned nervously.  Time walked past him, a gentle breeze disturbing the strands of Warrior’s hair and brushing against his neck.  It was in that moment that Warrior knew who the victim of the Heroes’ prank would be though he desperately hoped to be proven wrong.  But when was he ever?  Time paused.  Please, sit elsewhere. Sit elsewhere, Old Man! He internally pleaded. Shock and dismay flooded Warrior as Time lowered himself with the grace and agility of an experienced Hero to the ground on the spot right next to the Knight.   Nononono-! But the Old Man remained blissfully unaware of Warrior’s silent beseeching. Time leaned back, dropping his pack into the dirt in front of the log they were sat against. The foreboding sound echoed in Warrior’s ears, almost deafening him.  His heart plummeted into the pit of his stomach as Time maneuvered himself around and shifted until he was comfortably reclined against the log. The look of ease and content that came over Time and the relaxed posture in which he sat would not last long, Warrior knew.  Why, Old Man! Why?! He inwardly cried, You never sit beside me! What could have possibly made you choose to do so today?!  Time surveyed their little group, his single-eyed gaze appraising each individual Link around the table before settling on the stiff Knight beside him.  He frowned. The older adolescent was as tense as a coiled spring, ready to snap if provoked. His fingernails dug into the skin of his palms, though Warrior didn’t appear to notice. His knuckles were turning white from the unrelenting grip.  It piqued Time’s curiosity.  “Whatever has you so uptight, Warrior?”  Was it him, or was Warrior looking apprehensive and trapped? Like a cornered animal uncertain of what action to take next?  The Captain certainly looked ready to pass out from the dread building up within him.  Warrior coughed awkwardly, gesturing to Time’s meal with his left, “You might…” He began, his voice quiet and strangled, “Might not want to...erm...eat...your meal.”  Time coolly raised an eyebrow.  “Are you suggesting that I starve, Warrior?”  Although his low and rumbling voice was stern and stoic, Warrior’s sharp hearing caught the underlying hint of teasing coating his words.  “I…” Warrior tried to think of what to answer, but his mind faltered and slammed to a halt. This would happen at such an inopportune time! He struggled to kickstart his malfunctioning brain, words rapidly flying from his tongue, “Of course not but-”  A hand settled heavily on his shoulder followed by a faint laugh as Time smiled down at the knight, “Ease up, Warrior. No need to be so tense.”  Oh, Time wouldn’t be laughing for much longer.  Warrior made to speak-  But Time reached for his fork.  Warrior found his gaze riveted to Time’s plate, where he knew something awaited. Had Wild put something in the food? Some kind of monster gut? A different dubious item he had a tendency to collect?  Bugs? Insects?  Just the thought disgusted the Knight. The apprehension and regret made him queasy.  Warrior repined swapping plates now but there was nothing he could do but sit and watch Time cut a portion of the perfectly cooked, deceitfully delicious meat and raise the fork up.  I should warn him-  The thought comes too late.  Time had already taken a bite.  The whole world crumbled around Warrior as he awaited with great trepidation and foreboding for Time’s reaction.  Wild, Hyrule, Wind, and Legend were completely forgotten when Time chewed once, twice… And then stilled.  I should have warned him…    The Old Man’s jaw locked and Warrior swore Time’s face was slowly turning an impressive shade of rouge. It started faintly enough- a light dusting of pink, but as the seconds slowly ticked by, it grew more vibrant and deep until it was a burning shade of red.  With his focus narrowed on Time, Warrior missed the absolute look of sheer horror dawning on the tricksters. They’d been wondering at Warrior’s strange and uncharacteristic behavior until they noted how rapt he’d been watching Time.  Twilight and Sky paused in their conversation when they noted the sudden, absolute, silence that had settled o’er the table the Heroes were gathered round. Four curiously raised his head, noting the rigidness of Hyrule, Legend, Wild, and Wind and how fraught with anticipation Warrior appeared to be.  That was when they noticed Time’s burning face and the strained expression he’d adopted. The Old Man willed his jaw to move, but it stubbornly refused. His stomach quelled the desire for nourishment. His throat was parched, his mouth scalding hot.  “Time?” Sky called with unveiled concern, he and Twilight slowly rising from their chairs.  Warrior’s eyes slowly drifted shut.  He should have just taken it for himself and spared them all. He certainly would have spared Time. 

”Someone get some water!” It was Hyrule’s voice that snapped Warrior from his thoughts and the Knight shot upright immediately.

”Not water!” Four refuted with a shake of his head, shooting to his feet, “Milk! Does anyone have some milk?” 

The encampment burst into action with the Heroes digging through their packs and tossing out items in search for their bottles. 

Warrior scrambled to his knees and gripped Time’s shoulder tightly, giving him a slight shake, 

”Can you spit it out, Time?” 

By the Gods, he’d never seen Time so red before! He was practically burning! Even his eye was watering and there was sweat beading on his brow! 

The older Hero was as still as a statue, jaw welded shut and unwilling to move. 

"Din’s grace, Wild, what did you put in my meal?!” Warrior hissed, apologizing profusely to Time while simultaneously trying to help the Old Man to summon the strength and willpower to pry his jaw open and spit the food out. 

It felt to be an eternity before Sky whipped out a bottle of Lon Long Milk with a relieved cry and dashed to Time’s side, shoving it into his hands and coaxing him frantically to take it. 

Time’s stomach chose that moment to rebel. 

Warrior cringed at the painful sounds of hacking, coughing, choking, and sputtering their leader made as he desperately downed the bottle of Lon Lon Milk as if his life depended on it. 

Their formidable and stoic leader wheezed as Sky and Warrior pat his back sympathetically, the other Heroes crowding around them with concern wincing at the breathless coughs that escaped him. 

It wasn’t until Time cracked open an eye and seared Legend, Hyrule, Wind, and Wild with his infamous, brooding, stare that Warrior knew he would be fine. 

~~~~

Lon Lon Ranch. 

Ever a welcoming sight to behold. 

Warrior would be lying if he claimed to not have missed this beautiful and tranquil place. Malon welcomed them with bright eyes, a warm smile, and open arms. Warrior could tell the Links had never felt more at home than they did now. 

Of course, as the Heroes were wont to do, they split apart and designated tasks to one another to complete. They knew Malon appreciated their hard work and willingness to help around. 

Warrior himself was in the process of brushing the horses down, smiling when they shook their heads with a snort, their manes whipping through the air. They truly were such magnificent and majestic creatures. 

He’d never felt so at ease before. 

“Warrior,” 

“Hylia’s Grace!” Warrior exclaimed, startling violently at the deep voice that had come from behind him. 

The Captain slapped a hand over his frantically beating heart, directing an unappreciative glare at Time. The Old Man was poorly smothering his laughter, a smile curving his lips and single eye sparkling. 

“For Goddess’ sake, Time!” Warrior snapped, no bite in his tone, “A little warning next time!” 

The horse he’d been brushing nickered and Warrior could have sworn he was laughing at his misfortune. 

“I am the only one capable of sneaking up on you,” Was all Time said with a relaxed grin, “I have to use it to my advantage.” 

“I knew you were evil,” Warrior shook his head in disbelief, “This must be where they get their wicked streak from,” He remarked lowly to himself. 

Time frowned faintly, inclining his head. 

“Who?” 

Warrior blinked and waved his question aside with a smirk, “Nothing. No one.” He straightened and dusted his tunic off, fixing his disheveled hair and accidentally smearing dirt on his cheek, “Did you need something?” 

“Yes, I did,” Time replied, clasping Warrior on the shoulder and gently maneuvering him away. The knight snapped to attention and matched his pace. There was a pang in Time’s heart at the swift adoption of what Wind and some of the other Heroes called Warrior’s “Captain Persona.” Warrior most likely did not notice it. It was far too ingrained into him and came most likely without him realizing or being conscious of it. 

He was quick to become serious and grave and his eyes would harden or narrow with determination and consideration in a split second. He became a completely different person. 

“Settle down, Warrior,” Time pat his shoulder in the hopes of getting him to relax. Lon Lon Ranch was a place for them to let loose and enjoy themselves for once. To shed their burdens, worries, concerns, and strip themselves of the title “Hero” and just be themselves, “I only had something I wished to discuss with you.” 

Warrior raked a hand through his hair and quirked an eyebrow, “What was it?” 

A look entered Time’s eye as the older Hero guided Warrior to the open field the horses were left to graze. The other Links could be seen dotting the area, performing a multitude of tasks and chatting amiably with one another. 

“You are devising a plan, aren’t you?” At the bewildered look he received, Time clarified, “To get them back.” 

Understanding dawned on Warrior and he slowly nodded, “I am...” His calculating gaze slid to the taller Hylian, “Is there a reason you are asking..?” 

Time’s smile broadened, morphing in a smirk.  An incredibly familiar smirk. 

He clapped Warrior on the back, “Why, I am so glad you asked, Warrior. Might I make a suggestion?”

Warrior came to a sudden stop, whipping his head up to stare incredulously at Time, “A-a suggestion?” His mind whirled. What was this? Time was going to help him obtain his revenge? 

Time dipped his chin curtly, “I believe I have the perfect comeback, only,” He narrowed his single eye on Warrior, adding pointedly and with a hint of mischief, “You cannot say a word to Malon. She would have both our heads for this,” 

Now Warrior was intrigued. 

“I can do that. What is it?” He eagerly wanted to know. Time’s expression softened at the excited and curious gleam in the Captain’s eyes. 

“Very well.” He leaned down, lifting a hand and pointing somewhere in the distance of the Ranch, “Surely you have come to recognize that we Links all have an innate fear of...” 

~~~~

The act of retribution Time had suggested left Warrior stunned. He often found himself wondering how he’d never thought of it. It was beyond perfect! To think that Time had come up with it astounded the Knight. Then again, Warrior figured he should not be all too surprised. 

The Old Man was so full of mysteries and secrets. The Links knew next to nothing about him or his adventures. Warrior believed he was most likely the most devious and mischievous of the Links. 

With it being Time’s plan, Warrior was left with bringing it to fruition. 

And he knew exactly how he would do so. 

After all, there was one specific Link completely oblivious and unreservedly enamored with these dangerous little incarnations of evil. 

Warrior wouldn’t risk coming five feet of them but this one would. 

“Sky!” Warrior called, waving an arm in the air to catch the Skyloftian’s attention. 

Sky paused in what he was doing and turned to face him with a welcoming smile, “Warrior, is there something you need?” 

Always so pleasant and friendly. Sky was certainly someone no one could ever dislike. He was the kind of person that if someone were to look at him, they would instantly like him. Sky was never without a contented and appreciative smile. He was thoughtful, considerate, and soft-spoken. A Hero with a big heart. He was not to be undermined, however. As pure and innocent Sky appeared on the outside, he was an equally strong and quick warrior. A powerful Hero that was to be revered.

His presence was incredibly soothing- which must be the reason why these foul creatures were drawn to him. 

“Yes, there is!” Warrior answered, clasping his hands together, “You see, I need to ask a favor of you.” 

“Oh?” Sky tipped his head to the side, “What is it?” He set down the bags he’d been carrying and Warrior could have shaken his head. Sky never failed to put others before him. 

“Well, I was wondering if you might be able to fetch me a cucco?” 

Sky’s brows drew together, befuddlement darkening his eyes at the Captain’s odd request. 

“A cucco? You can’t find one yourself?” He looked past Warrior’s shoulder, where an entire flock of cuccos were clucking about. 

Warrior grimaced, “It isn’t that I can’t find them, it’s that I am unwilling to risk my life in picking one up.” 

Sky tilted his head once again, strikingly resembling a young puppy. 

“What is the risk to your life..?” 

Pained remembrance distorted Warrior’s features, a strained smile on his lips, and phantom pain tingling across his body. Sky was certainly fortunate to have never experienced the wrath of a cucco. 

“Please, Sky, all I am asking is for you to bring me a cucco.” 

Sky shrugged lightly, “I don’t understand why you fear them so, Warrior, but I will bring you one.” The Skyloftian moved to do as promised and crouched before the fifteen or so cuccos gathered together a ways away. He spoke softly to them, adoringly, and coaxed one into coming to him. 

Sometimes, Warrior envied Sky... 

With impossible ease, Sky collected the cucco into his arms and stood, stroking the bird soothingly and doting on it. Warrior didn’t know how he did it. The cucco hardly stirred, seemingly content where it was cradled against the Skyloftian’s chest. 

“There you are!” Sky brightly announced to Warrior, presenting him with the cucco. 

Warrior instinctively recoiled when the cucco’s black, beady, eyes pierced through him, boring into his very soul. He had no doubt these creatures possessed the ability of tearing him apart from the inside out. It flapped its wings a couple of times and Warrior felt his heart leap into his throat as a lance of pure, unadulterated, terror shot through him. For a second, Warrior thought the cucco would call for its fellow friends and come raining down on him in a flurry of feathers and enraged clucking. 

He was increasingly careful not to provoke it. 

“Wonderful-” And Warrior would pretend his voice had not gone up an octave. He cleared his throat, “If you wouldn’t mind setting it over there, behind Legend, Wild, Wind, and Hyrule,” 

“What? Why?” Utterly bemused, Sky turned his head towards said Heroes. 

“Please, Sky,” 

“Alright..?” Sky spun on his heel and promptly went to deposit the cucco in the spot Warrior had said. He looked to Warrior for confirmation only for the Knight to fervently wave him over. 

Confusion building, Sky returned back to where the Captain stood a safe distance away. 

“Thank you,” Warrior said, bringing a couple fingers up to his chin, “Now, how to do this without turning it against me...” 

Sky turned wide eyes on the Knight, “What are you planning, Warrior?!” 

Nothing good, if the look in his companion’s eyes was of any indication. Sky felt his stomach churning, concern for his little cucco friend stirring. 

Before he could say or do anything, the cucco suddenly jumped when a seed came flying into its side. Sky whipped around to find Twilight loading a slingshot with another seed and prepping it. 

“What are you doing?!” Sky demanded to know, horrified when the Ordonian, completely unaffected by the shock and rebuke the Skyloftian openly displayed, let loose another projectile. 

It flew straight and true. Smack dab into the cucco. 

He was purposefully riling it up, Sky realized. He made to rescue his little bird friend when Warrior’s hand snapped out with unnatural speed and tugged him back to safety. 

“Believe me, Sky,” Warrior ominously began when Sky looked incredulously to him, “You want to be as far away from those things as possible- especially when they’re angry.” 

Before Sky could demand what he meant, the cucco suddenly froze then violently hopped three times with a furious squawk. 

Before Sky’s disbelieving eyes, a whole swarm of cuccos came diving out of nowhere and flocked angrily around Legend, Wild, Wind and Hyrule. Twilight and Warrior watched with unrestrained amusement while Sky was immobilized by complete shock and horror. 

The four unfortunate pranksters released identical cries of alarm as the cuccos came flying towards them from all directions. The varying looks of absolute, sheer, terror that crossed their faces were some that Warrior and Twilight would forever remember.

“It’s remlits in bird form…” Sky whispered in mingled dread and awe, recalling all too vividly a particular incident from long ago.  

Twilight and Warrior could only laugh, Time’s unrestrained laughter mingling with their own from somewhere behind them while Legend, Wind, Hyrule, and Wild scattered in a desperate attempt to flee from the flock of vengeful Cuccos. White feathers exploded everywhere, fluttering in the air and blanketing the ground as angry and shrill squawks and clucks encompassed the air, accompanied by Wild, Legend, and Wind’s terrified shouts. They bolted across the ranch, desperately hoping to outrun the cuccos, but as every Link knows and Sky was recently made aware of...

There is no fleeing a cucco, for a cucco will always have its vengeance one way or another. 

[heroes-fading]

Why Veronica Mars Won’t Have a Season 5

My introduction to Veronica Mars came in the midst of my father’s death. I watched episodes in hospital waiting rooms before it happened, and holed up in my room afterwards. I found a lot of comfort in the strength that the characters provided. The scene of Logan at his mother’s funeral - maniac and trying to find the humor in it - is exactly what I felt at my father’s. I, like Logan, made jokes and tried shrugging it off. I was certain that this was some sort of cosmic joke, and I was on the receiving end. Veronica’s personality shaped most of who I was in high school - my dad passed away two weeks before I started. Her snark, intelligence, and resilience inspired me so much then. I found a wonderful community with fans of the show, and to this day as a semi-adult I love and adore so many people I met through the show.

When the movie was announced, I was ecstatic. I remember rushing to a bathroom stall at my high school so I could eloquently keyboard-smash about it with my friends, donating to the Kickstarter, wearing my t-shirt, going to the theater with my friend to watch it and livestreaming it the night of its release with my online friends. In a sea of horrible feelings and helplessness, Veronica Mars helped me feel empowered and supported.

That’s partly why all of this stings so badly and feels so much like a betrayal.

Logan Echolls fits into a lot of tropes I’ve grown to hate as a self-identified feminist who has zero time for bad boys. Men who “atone for their sins” to get with a leading heroine are ones I often find boring - so often they’re executed poorly and their past mistakes would be absolutely unforgivable in a real context. Chuck Bass, Damon Salvatore, Spike, et. all are characters I’m tired of seeing in fiction. Logan Echolls organized a bum fight, took out Veronica’s headlights, burned down a community pool, made a series of racist comments to Weevil, and generally had moments of being the absolute worst. But for some weird reason, I have a massive soft spot for Logan and he’s become one of my favorite fictional characters.

Maybe it’s because we’ve seen him go through much, change so much over the course of the show. Maybe it’s because the show actually held him accountable (as well as Veronica) so the redemption didn’t feel cheap or unearned. Or maybe it’s because I’m just a weak heterosexual hypnotized by Jason Dohring’s abs and my feminism only goes so far as who I think is hot. I hope it’s not the last one, but I’m sure some would argue it is! The point is -- healthy, going-to-therapy Logan feels earned after the deaths of his parents, his abusive dad killing his girlfriend, numerous beatings, and too many near death experiences to count. Logan went from being an obligatory psychotic jackass to a fairly well-adjusted boyfriend in a way that made narrative sense.

His offscreen death right after getting married to the love of his life? Not so much.  

The thing that stings about Veronica Mars’ final episode is not just Logan’s death - it’s what it means for the show going forward, especially its titular character. What made Veronica lovable was not her toughness as Logan’s final voicemail details. As season 3 Logan reminds us, Veronica isn’t invincible and she isn’t always right. What made her such a compelling character was what was underneath that toughness, and the people around her that highlighted that warmth buried underneath layers of trauma. In other words, what made her a marshmallow. Burnt on the outside, but gooey on the inside, as Wallace describes her in the pilot.

When we meet Veronica in the pilot, she’s been through a litany of traumas: her best friend’s death, a breakup, sexual assault and drugging, social ostracization, her mother’s addiction and swift exit from her life, a swift drop in socioeconomic status, and routine humiliation at the hands of her peers. But in spite of all of that, she’s still the girl that cuts Wallace down from the flag because it’s the right thing to do. She’s still the girl that worries about her father, has sympathy for Logan after his mother’s death despite all of his cruelty, defends and comforts Meg Manning after she endures the same bullying Veronica did, cares (often, initially unwillingly) about the people whose cases she takes, and bakes cookies for her friend after his basketball game just because. Even as recently as the books, Veronica bakes a cake for her terrible, abandoning mother on her birthday in spite of her replacing her and Keith with another family. She looks after her half-brother Hunter, even if he’s a painful reminder of her mother’s foibles. Veronica isn’t nearly as tough as she pretends to be, and that’s a good thing. That’s what makes her interesting and stops her from being like every other cynical hardboiled detective trope.

The people around Veronica - who support her, evolve with her, and serve as contrasts to her - are what help make her story so compelling. People who can tell her when she’s wrong (Logan, Keith, Weevil, et. all), who remind her of her soft side (Keith, Wallace, Mac, Logan), who can stop her from turning into a noir stereotype and cement her as Veronica Mars. People aren’t tuning in just to see Veronica snark at random side characters. Her personal journey in moving past her trauma and her relationships with other characters are what really makes the character who she is. 

Her journey, from the pilot episode to the movie, is realizing that she can’t just shove down and run away from her trauma. Over the course of her show, we see her form bonds with people in spite of her attempts not to - Wallace, Mac, Logan, and a variety of others. They help her, support her, and challenge her in ways that only serve to make her story more interesting. In the movie, we see Veronica realize she can’t keep running and she doesn’t want a cushy life as a New York lawyer with a boyfriend who doesn’t understand why she cares so much about what happens in her hometown. Neptune, as corrupt and corroded as it is, is her hometown. 

That’s why it’s such a spectacular slap in the face for the end of season 4 to offer the exact opposite. Veronica loses her husband (after finally evolving from the Veronica in the pilot who swore she was never getting married because she was so cynical about relationships) immediately after marriage. She leaves behind Keith, Wallace, and everyone else to chase unknown cases with unknown people in unknown places. As Rob has said, he saw this as the only way for Veronica to continue to be interesting - roaming the world solo as if she’s Sherlock Holmes.

This is not character progression. This is not driving the plot forward. This is regressing to a character to a point even before the pilot episode - a hardened Veronica who pretends she doesn’t care, who uses her trauma as an armour, and keeps people away from her. It undermines the central message of the movie - that Neptune is her home and in spite of her problems, she’s willing to fight for it. By killing Logan, Rob wanted to kill Veronica’s ties to Neptune. This isn’t an evolution - it’s a devolution. 

Rob Thomas has offered this option before - a Veronica exit vehicle sans everyone else, including only Kristen Bell snarking at a camera - in the form of the last-ditch FBI pilot. It was not well received by fans nor networks, and unsurprisingly not picked up or seen anywhere other than a reposting on YouTube. I think if he sincerely expects any other result from a similar future attempt, he’s lying to himself. 

If Rob Thomas wanted the male character-centric P.I. noir he initially planned on writing rather than Veronica Mars, he should have written that rather than allowed it to take over the Veronica Mars universe. Writing a woman with the same elements of toxic masculinity as male characters (a complete disregard for their own feelings, ripping themselves away from personal connections, framing “toughness” as superior and emotional development as a waste of time) is not feminism - it’s just lazy. “Strong female characters” don’t have to be made strong by undergoing trauma after trauma and shutting down until they’re a shadow of their former selves. Their male counterparts aren’t expected to have to deal with rape, death, ostracization, and every other possible form of trauma  - women sure as hell shouldn’t. 

Furthermore, the way that Rob Thomas has framed his fanbase is shameful. Veronica Mars fans aren’t just deranged fangirls too obsessed with Jason Dohring’s abs to care about the health of the story. This isn’t “not what we wanted, but what we needed” - we’re not an audience too stupid to know what’s good for us. We’re an intelligent audience when we’re giving the showrunners money, but when we’re disagreeing with the writing choices we’re just too invested in romance to “get it”. Predictably, these fans (who make up most of Veronica Mars’ fanbase that the showrunners claim to adore so much) are women. For decades, women have been stereotyped as media-consumers that only care about romance and thus can’t care about depth as if the two are mutually exclusive. This stereotype is incredibly sexist, especially given what this fanbase in particular has done for this franchise, and the continued insistence that these fans just don’t know what’s good for them or the show is incredibly condescending and transparent.

This fanbase poured $6 million dollars into a Kickstarter for a money, maintained energy for a revival and actively lobbied streaming services and networks for a continuation, and kept the fandom twelve years after the finale episode of its original incarnation aired. As much as some may resent how fan energy encouraged writers to see Logan evolve, or Logan and Veronica to sort out their issues, or anything else - these were choices the writers made and stood by for years. A sudden U-Turn in storytelling to go from “the fans were right, this dynamic is wonderful and we’re going to base our advertising around it!” to “well, it was never supposed to be about that” is a kick to the teeth to a fanbase that (literally!) gave so much. 

It’s not as if this is the first time the fanbase has been disappointed by a writing decision. Speaking for myself, I was heavily disappointed by the way sexual assault was handled on the original incarnation of the show. Veronica’s rape was handled by at first not framing it as a sexual assault at all in “A Trip to the Dentist” - Duncan Kane (her ex-boyfriend/potential half-brother at some point in time) having sex with her while she was unconcious was framed as just “feelings and nature taking over” because he was under the influence. In season 3, the writers decided that framing women protesting sexual assault on campus as deranged feminists who sexually assault men by inserting them with Easter eggs was a good choice. That Easter egg part was played for laughs by the show, writers, and leading cast member. 

Even the inclusion of Dick Casablancas for laughs - whose GHB was intended for his girlfriend and ended up in Veronica’s cup - doesn’t feel right. Ryan Hansen’s charm explains a lot of it, but the show seems to place a lot more blame on Madison for Veronica’s rape despite the fact she narrowly escaped the same fate at Dick’s hands. I was disappointed then, and I’m still disappointed with it now - far away from any romantic concerns of the show.

And my biggest problem with the ending of season 4 isn’t just that Logan is dead. I’m incredibly crushed and disappointed to see all of that character development be met with an offscreen car-bomb, but it doesn’t bode well for Veronica’s characterization and ultimate arc either. I fell in love with Veronica’s character first, and I don’t even recognize her anymore.

If the movie was a thank you to the marshmallows (both the fans and Veronica’s inner softness), the ending of the show was a middle finger to both. If the lesson from the series and the film is that you fight for things because they’re worth it and not because they come easily (whether they be relationships or towns), then the lesson from the revival is that the best thing to do is leave and take your bags. So much of the narrative was set up around Veronica accepting who she was and where she’s from - and the revival’s Veronica has finally been traumatized so much she’s packing her bags and giving up. That’s not toughness. That’s not strength. That’s certainly not saving the show or the character. 

That’s selling a grim story because you think it’s edgy. That’s trying to be subversive and failing, too focused on shock value to care about the characters. There’s a reason shows like Game of Thrones, Dexter, and How I Met Your Mother got such backlash -- they just don’t make narrative sense and the endings are far from satisfying. Making the fans happy isn’t a mark of bad storytelling, especially when the survival of your franchise has been so contingent on it. Sometimes, they actually do know what they’re talking about! And if you want a season five, maybe don’t alienate your fans to a point they don’t recognize the show anymore. Rob mentioned, “...I will have made a really bad bet if, en masse, the fans turn on the show. That would certainly be a tough lesson to learn.” -- I think he accomplished that! 

I wish the Veronica Mars that got me through the toughest parts of my life was still around. But I’d rather say goodbye to her forever than be faced with a cheap imitation. 

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

Supernatural 15x18, Despair -- Review

Sooo...that episode happened. And you know, based on the posts I had been seeing all day, when I went into this episode, I was expecting to hate this episode. But I kind of didn’t. I kind of liked it. Did I love it? No. Like I’ve been saying before, I doubt this season will do anything that I will actually genuinely love, they went a direction with the season that ultimately I find boring and dull, so I’ll probably never ever actually truly enjoy or love any part of this season, other than the Michael/Adam dynamic, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t find some enjoyment watching this episode. 

So as always, spoilers below. If you don’t want to be spoiled, scroll past this. I might get a little anti Dean and anti Destiel, if you’re pro for either of those things, you might also want to scroll past this one. If you do decide to stick around and listen to my, at times, incoherent ramblings then you are welcome to do so. Just know that I will not tolerate any rude behavior or actions. If you want to discuss a difference in opinions then I am by all means open to that. However, if you just want to come at me to preach at me on why I’m wrong, then you’ll probably be ignored. This blog supports the interpretations of stories, interpretations as in plural. Everyone has their own interpretations I associate a certain kind of validity with all of them and only a fandickle tries to tear down someone else’s interpretation. Don’t be a fandickle, that’s all I’m asking.

So believe it or not, I actually did find myself kind of sort of enjoying the Cas sacrifice. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do not appreciate Cas dying or sacrificing himself, he’s done it way too much and my poor angel, he just needs to stop loving other people so much and start showing himself a fraction of that love. But on the topic of Cas’s sacrifice, I found the idea behind it kind of nice? I guess. This episode is titled “despair”. And truly, this episode is about our heroes reaching total despair. But in the face of reaching total despair and hopelessness, Cas brought hope, he brought a second chance. In the story of Pandora’s Box, Pandora let out all of the evils of the world, but among those evils at the very bottom of the box was hope. At the bottom of true despair and hopelessness, there’s hope. And that’s what Cas’s sacrifice ultimately meant. Hope and a second chance to somehow find a way to fix everything. And I don’t know, it was just an aspect of the story I really liked. 

Now, do I agree with how the actual sacrifice went down? Absolutely not. Dean certainly doesn’t deserve Cas’s love and I think Cas’s reasoning for finding true happiness is a little contrived. Shoot, I wish I found happiness everytime I confessed to someone I liked them. But somehow, happiness and was not what I was feeling. More like anxiety and subsequently pain when I was ultimately rejected. I could imagine maybe feeling a sense of relief but how that correlates to true happiness, I think that’s a little bit of a stretch and is a product of the writers wanting something to happen but either running out of time or just simply too lazy to put in the work for it. And ultimately, this whole “Destiel is canon” thing is something I just don’t really feel a sense of love or appreciation for. I’m glad the Destiel fandom got this thing they had waited so long for but ultimately to me, I can’t appreciate it like they can, it comes with a bitter taste to it because I don’t think it was earned. Dean has been a piece of shit for a while, I’m sorry and the show has done very little this season to actually redeem him for me. Do I think it was out of character for Cas to do what he did? Absolutely not. In fact, this is very in character for him. Me being a Sastiel shipper, I can also say that Dean  has had a (I can hardly say this without having to barf) but Dean has had a “profound” impact on Cas. And to a certain extent, it is true that Cas has largely become who he is because of Dean. Now I do not like the whole retconning of that Cas didn’t care about humans before he met Dean. That bit doesn’t make sense as its been revealed time and time again that he’s always had a fondness for humans and felt a sense of justice to do right by them. So that bit I don’t agree with. But as for Cas choosing to sacrifice himself to save Dean, yes that’s in character for him. It doesn’t mean I have to like it, Cas deserves to love someone better who’s not a manbaby but when you look at it from Cas’s perspective, he doesn’t view Dean that way. I wish Cas would dump Dean’s ass but that’s not who Cas is and begrudgingly, it’s also something I kind of love about Cas. To be able to love and forgive a beast essentially. 

But moving on to other things I enjoyed about this episode. Seeing Billie wield her weapon like that, kind of awesome. Although, I am side-eyeing the whole weird contrivance that “Death” keeps putting down this weapon and leaving it somewhere for anyone to pick up. And while I didn’t enjoy watching all of our heroes’ friends disappear, I did kind of appreciate from a morbid torture standpoint that Chuck was essentially torturing Sam and Dean with the disappearances. He started out small and he kept on graduating further and further, getting closer and closer to the people Dean and Sam cared the most about. Like Charlie asked why when Stevie disappered, why didn’t she? And it’s because Chuck wanted Sam and Dean to stew in the disappearances a little. He wanted to give the boys a chance to understand what was happening, have them formulate a plan and then once they realized the plan failed, then take away the ones that mean the most to them. It’s horrible but an effective torture technique. 

So surprisingly, I did enjoy this episode. I didn’t expect to, I didn’t want to, but I kind of did. I’d have to give this episode a B+. Not too bad, Berens. Again, don’t love it, don’t love how things were executed in it, but in idea form it was kind of nice. And for the record, I don’t think this is the end of Cas. This episode was about Despair, we got Cas’s despair and the hope he was able to dig out from under it, now we just need Sam and Dean to dig out their own hope from their own despair and I’m interested to see what we come out with. Remember what I said, only when we reach a sense of true hopelessness, can we find hope again. 

[kagemajaya]

Hidamari ga Kikoeru - Part 2: From iyashikei romance to conventional romantic drama

I Hear the Sunspot - 2013, Fumino Yuki - 7/10

Kouhei and Taichi being sad and alone under the rain

You can read the first part of this post here.

The healing has ended and now it’s time for some romantic drama tropes to take over. I will be quite harsh in the rest of this review and focus on the manga’s flaws, but bear in mind, this is because I loved this story and expected more out of it. It is of course still leagues ahead of many others of its kind. 

With the second volume of Hidamari ga Kikoeru, we step into a territory that we haven’t been in yet: proper romance. That is not to say Koufuku-hen (vol.2) and Limit (vol.3) do not delve into other topics at hand, coming of age and disability, but they are now tools to give us more and more melodrama between our “established” couple. Kouhei and Taichi aren’t exactly going out at the beginning of Koufuku-hen, but all intentions are there and we know why we are getting these sequels: the boys will need to get together.

Koufuku-hen introduces the first two obstacles to our boys’ soft romance: an entitled rival and worries about future occupation, classic go-to’s in any elementary romance story. (For an almost exhaustive catalogue of what drama a simple first love story should include, check out Doukyuusei, it does it well and without pretense.) 

Maya, the rival to Taichi, is a total bitch. Whether her disability is supposed to make her sympathetic, I don’t know, but she is the sort of character I can’t stand in any story. Actually stopping Taichi, someone she’s just met, from meeting Kouhei, and Kouhei and Taichi both allowing her that power is lazy narrative. Where does she get that power? Why is it okay for her to be mean to Taichi? And why is Taichi a pushover? Is that what being nice means? Certainly not in my dictionary. And certainly not by the standards of what we’ve seen from Taichi so far. He’s been quite defensive and protective against mean people - does Maya being a girl make it okay? Is it because she hangs out with Kouhei? None of these reasons work for me. As the story continues into Limit, she mellows out a bit, and even reluctantly helps Taichi. Unfortunately, this was nowhere near enough to redeem her character for me. As a tool to further the boys’ relationship, she was rudimentary. If we look at her as her own character, Fumino certainly gives her character development and her own plotline, neither of which are things she gave me a reason to care about. Maya was in the end Strike One towards a suffocating, trite melodrama that Fumino did so well keeping away from in volume 1.

Aren’t you the one who acts like that Miss Prejudice? 

Strike Two is future worries. Now as a topic for a 19 year old who has no idea what he’s doing with life, it makes total sense. When we come to its execution however, I have huge problems. Taichi quits university because now he knows what he wants to do with his life: help Kouhei with his hearing problems. In essence, both his wish to work with the hearing disability community and Kouhei’s reaction of feeling like a burden to Taichi are realistic, and could have been explored much like Kouhei’s original issue was explored in volume 1- quietly, without melodrama, with respite. Instead, what we get is, lack of communication and many many misinterpretations of each other’s feelings, not seeing each other for ages (and the normalization of that - two adults in a relationship not having time to see each other is bullshit, also propagated across many manga as if it could be real.) and once again, we are drowning in the sad feelings of youngsters who feel they are just not loved.

Of course, the work environment itself, which we get into more in Limit, carries the melodrama a million steps further. Taichi’s colleagues are generally nice people. The one that stands out the most is his de facto boss Chiba-san. He is the tough love type who teaches well and cares about you in his own grumpy way. Taichi of course loves to complain about him - which leads to Kouhei being jealous. And of course that’s not enough, whilst he is being jealous, but also feeling like a burden to Taichi cause he changed his future plans for him, he also decides to stay away from him, and be friends with another character who can’t hear, Ryuu, who is both vehemently against deaf people being with hearing people, and also - a shocking twist of fate - turns out to be Chiba-san’s little brother. With his venom, he convinces Kouhei that he can’t be with Taichi forever, and that he doesn’t need to get better hearing. I call it venom because before his own plotline is revealed, he comes across quite villainous. In fact, he is a sad, sensitive young man because he thinks he ruined his brother’s life, much like he makes Kouhei think he ruined Taichi’s life. The generalizations made and the entitlement to butt into other people’s life choices and the self-righteous attitude that comes with it bring us even more melodrama and suffocation. On the other hand, Chiba-san and Ryuu’s plotline is nicely resolved by the end, unlike Maya’s, it resonated with me as its own story. One reason for that could be that the only major female character we get ends up a part of the romantic plotline, and boy that is a turn off. Is that all girls are for? (Not saying Fumino-sensei is the sort to do this on purpose, but it is still quite boring to see it happen over and over again.)

Don’t fuck with a sensitive guy’s head dude... 

In the end, rather than envisioning ways to execute these plotlines better, I ask myself the question - was this continuation necessary at all? Apart from turning all the earlier beautiful drama into a tool to create romantic melodrama, what did we achieve? I guess we did get Kouhei and Taichi together by the end, but the somewhat open ending of the first volume had already done a classy job in making me think they were going to get together. It is of course natural to want to see your favorites continue to be a part of your life, and that is how I had felt at first when Koufuku-hen had come out. However, this is another lesson in how carrying on with an already finished story is almost never a good idea. Koufuku-hen and Limit did not entirely fuck up Hidamari ga Kikoeru, but they were far from ideal. Rather than enjoying the journey, I looked forward to it finishing as I waddled through Kouhei and Taichi’s endless troubles. 

The latter volumes get a 6 from me - a score I give to manga that I think are fine enough but I don’t want to read again. Surely, most of these flaws will get lost in the original sensitive choice and execution of the topic and will get ignored, branding Hidamari ga Kikoeru a master work. I’d like to reserve that epitaph for stories that carry that sensitiveness throughout. Maybe the solution is to regard these volumes as separate works, as I still love the original and will cherish it among my other favorites. Would also love to hear about your thoughts on these points - did you feel similarly as you read? Or did you only notice after reading this? Maybe you still loved the manga just as much as before? Either way, here’s hoping good stories aren’t dragged down by editor/reader pressures or a hunger for fame and money and we stop where they should.   

A dramatic chase, a traffic accident scare and we’re there… take a chill pill Fumino-sensei and see you next time...