#(my da yelling tag really should be separate)

[carelessgraces]

okay so the point i was going for yesterday:

    this series thrives on its difficult choices and origins was hands-down the best developed to handle questions of grey morality and impossible options. it didn’t always play out perfectly with the mechanics of it being a video game, so you know you’ve gotta be okay at the end of it, but: choosing whether or not to leave a possessed connor behind in an absolutely ravaged redcliffe, for the two-plus weeks it would take to get to the circle and come back with mages? it’s “save a child” versus “save an entire town.” bhelen is genuinely terrifying in that he has all the makings of a complete tyrant — actually literally officially executing his political opponents, repeatedly, and shutting down the only avenue for effective discussion and disagreement — but he’s also exactly what orzammar needs in terms of both social and economic progress. the brecilian forest was a little easier for me — “kill the dalish” isn’t a good option, ever, and when it comes down to kill zathrian and lift the curse vs. kill the werewolves, the former is clearly the choice you’re meant to make? to limit damage in the future, and continued damage now. the mage tower is the hardest, i think, to call effectively morally grey, because there really isn’t anything to suggest that the tower HAS to be annulled? because there’s no indication that if it’s not, the people outside the tower are in serious danger. and by the time you’ve finished everything, you know who is and isn’t possessed, you’ve literally seen it, so annulling the tower at that stage is just kinda evil.

    choosing anora or alistair is another really difficult one because anora proves time and again that she’s either not as competent as she says she is, or she has no moral backbone of which to speak ( because it all comes down to the tevinter presence in the alienage: if she isn’t aware that an agreement to sell elves into slavery has been signed by her father, who does not have an official title besides the one he’s given himself and certainly not one that would be recognized by most foreign powers, that means that she’s not paying a lick of attention to the sudden influx of money in the treasury, to pay for a civil war of her father’s making, or to the actual literal slave trade happening literally under her nose. if she knows and does nothing about it — which seems a lot more likely given that she a.) erects a statue in loghain’s honor after the blight if she rules alone, enslaved elves be damned and b.) has violent clashes with the alienage due to food shortages only if she rules alone, all of which indicate a measure of indifference at best toward the most vulnerable people in ferelden, but i’ll yell about that on my da multi rather than here — she’s willing to bide her time and allow elves, including elven children, to be shipped off to tevinter and enslaved, or she only cares when she can use it politically. but anora is also better trained than alistair, anora has more experience than alistair, and what the country needs is some measure of stability. however, ethically, she really has no place in power over anyone. choosing alistair is potentially disastrous because despite the fact that he’s a really, really, really good man, he has no political training, no experience, and will likely be manipulated by eamon, who we really should be able to let die.

    and the anora / alistair choice is probably the one most similar to the templar / mage choice in inquisition. on the one hand you have a force that will fit in neatly with the structure in place, that will most likely get the most done the quickest, and that will provide some measure of consistency for the people and in gaining allies across the board. this force has proven itself cruel, either through the active choice of cruelty or indifference to the point of cruelty, and offers the most effective results but only if you’re willing to really, really do the ethically fucked up thing. on the other hand, you have a group of refugees fleeing centuries of violent oppression, whose organization is better suited for a university than for a war, who genuinely terrify most civilians, and who would need to be heavily trained. they are, hands down, the ethically correct choice — protecting the oppressed rather than siding with their oppressors, bringing about real change and progress — but logistically and politically speaking it’s kind of a crapshoot. and i think, i think, that if this had been built up in much the way that anora vs alistair was built up — one is a good moral choice, one is a good political choice, you can’t have both at the start but you can hope they’re influenced in the right way — it would have been a lot more effective? and on the fan side: i have a lot more trouble getting people invested in a pro-templar inquisitor than a pro-mage inquisitor, which is fair because i agree that allying with the mages is the right thing to do, and i don’t blame anyone at all for their discomfort with a pro-templar inquisitor. but i think that it’s because this got pitched to us as a moral dilemma when it wasn’t one, and the way that this was made into a “moral dilemma” was by rewriting a lot of 2. 

     because pushing “anders was a terrorist” is... lazy at best? and i’m sorry for being pedantic but this is a major pet peeve: anders does not engage in a campaign of terror. he engages first in peaceful protest, then in physical defense of people, and the explosion at the chantry is both a last resort and is actively timed to avoid collateral damage. terrorism, by definition, requires the terrorist to engage in that kind of act with the explicit intent of terrorizing civilians to force a state or institution to grant the terrorist’s demands. anders set off the explosion at a time when there were few people in the chantry — not during a service of any kind, not when people were paying attention to the chantry, but when their attention was elsewhere. he made a point of limiting casualties, and the act was done exclusively to prevent a slaughter, after nearly a decade of trying literally everything else. ( on the flip side, in inquisition we literally have sebastian inform the inquisition that he intends to invade kirkwall — not because he thinks hawke and anders can be found there, but because he wants to terrorize the civilians until hawke and anders surrender. so we do have an example of how this can be used in warfare, in-game, with the same players, and they’re two vastly different approaches. ) so to make the “anders was a terrorist” line make more sense they insisted on massive numbers of casualties from the explosion, they undermined hawke’s support of anders by default, and they made the explosion at kirkwall out to be the spark for the mage rebellion, when we know from the books that this wasn’t the case at all. so it’s a lot of retconning to try and make the mage-templar choice in 2 a morally difficult one, when we know it isn’t, and when the game doesn’t allow it to be. because love or hate anders, senselessly slaughtering a tower full of mages after a decade-plus of rampant abuses, which are horrifying and canonically confirmed by templars every chance the game has, it really doesn’t stand up to any sort of scrutiny. the only real moral dilemma in “the last straw” is whether or not to execute anders ( tho i’ve never been able to do it, it is set up to be a difficult choice, and it’s much more effective ). 

     anyway i’m not sure how to sum this up tidily but the gist of it is that i think the mage-templar choice in inquisition is best understood as a parallel for the anora-alistair choice in origins, rather than the mage-templar choice in 2?

[plaidbooks]

I saw something on Pinterest that Tinkerbell said: "If you have to choose between me and her, choose her. Because if you really loved me, there wouldn't be any other choice." I was wondering if reader could say that to barba bc he was choosing between her or yelina?

Too High of a Price

A/N: This fic takes place just after Rafael and reader graduate Harvard (so, they’re in their early/mid 20s). This is also an angst with no happy ending. But! I can be convinced to write a part 2 with a happier ending. I...may have thought about it already. Anyways, enjoy.

Tags: angst, fighting about expenses, cheating

Words: 1237

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @shroomiehomie @glimmerglittergirl @alwaysachorusgirl @joanofarkansass @redlipstickandplaid @detective-giggles @prurientpuddlejumper @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @madamsnape921 @dianilaws @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31

You had thought that cramming for Finals, preparing for the JD, and prepping for the bar put a serious strain on yours and Rafael’s relationship. And once you both passed, you were hoping that you could both move in together—start your lives. That everything would calm down. But oh, how wrong you were.

“Raf, what’s this charge for $1400?” you asked, furious.

He glanced at you. “I bought a new suit, since now I’m in the DA’s office in Brooklyn—”

“We don’t have the funds for that! We’re barely able to afford our apartment!”

“It was a necessary purchase! I have to dress for the job!”

You rolled your eyes. “You have three suits! We need to save—” “I know, okay! I know!” he roared back. You both stood, glaring at each other. Finally, Rafael sighed. “I’m sorry; I don’t mean to yell. Let’s just…. It’s late; let’s go to bed.”

“I-I can’t see you right now, Raf. I’m sleeping on the couch,” you replied, already exhausted. This wasn’t the first fight about money, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. After Harvard, you both found a cheap apartment. And while Rafael had found a job with the DA’s office, you were having a much harder time. Plus, the fact that he had struggled too; this DA’s job was a godsend.

“Fine, okay. I have work tomorrow morning; can we talk afterwards? Please?” he muttered, looking as tired as you felt.

“Yeah. Sure.” At this point, you just wanted to get to sleep. Rafael nodded, heading towards the bedroom. You grabbed the extra blanket you kept in the hall closet and made yourself comfortable on the couch. But you couldn’t sleep, the fight still fresh in your mind. So instead, you thought about your relationship with Rafael.

You had met in your second year at Harvard, both of you falling hard for each other. You had been in the honeymoon phase for so long, only snapping at each other when you were stressed with schoolwork. But you loved him deeply, and he loved you, too.

Ever since you started living together, though—outside of your separate dorm rooms and actually together—it seemed like nonstop fighting. Sure, you still loved each other, but with money being tight, and job hunting failing, your relationship was filled with stress and screaming. It didn’t help that Rafael still talked to his ex-girlfriend, Yelina. She had dumped him for his best friend about a year before he met you, and a small part of you thought that you were a rebound.

Rafael would take long breaks from talking to her—in fact, he never reached out. It was always Yelina that got into contact with him. But if her name flashed on his phone with an incoming call, he would always take it. And asking him about it just led to more fighting. Truth be told, you missed the “easy” days in college, back when you and Rafael were so enchanted with each other. Nowadays, you hardly touched each other outside of a quick peck goodbye, or cuddling in bed while you slept.

 ********************

You woke up when you heard Rafael moving around the apartment, but you pretended to sleep through it. You could tell he was trying to keep quiet, his footsteps soft. You didn’t want to talk to him yet, though—you were still mad about him buying a new suit, especially without discussing it with you first. If he had been hiding that from you, what else could he be hiding?

The front door opened and closed, the lock turning from the outside. You waited for the footsteps to disappear down the hall before you sat up. You headed for the shower, letting the hot water run over you. And then, you hit the web, trying to find anyone hiring Harvard grads.

After sending off a few applications, you sat back, thinking about Rafael. Were you really mad at him for buying the suit? Or were you upset that he felt the need to hide it from you? Not discussing it with you beforehand. And was it really that big of a deal?

Sighing and feeling guilty, you decided to make and bring Rafael lunch—an olive branch. You didn’t plan on hashing things out at his work, but you thought it’d be nice to eat lunch together, to show him you weren’t mad anymore.

 ********************

You showed up to the DA’s offices, a paper bag in hand. You hadn’t texted him beforehand, hoping to surprise Rafael. But his cubicle was empty. Leaving the bag on his desk, you asked the paralegal that sat next to him if she had seen him.

“Oh, Rafael? He went to the bathroom. Down that hall and to the left,” she replied happily. You thanked her and headed off in the direction she indicated. The bathroom was a single toilet, and the door was locked.

You were debating if you should knock or not when you heard a noise from inside. You froze; it sounded suspiciously like…. Placing your ear against the door, you heard it again, and this time, you knew exactly what it was. A muffled moan, and a shushing.

You knocked on the door, face burning. Don’t be Rafael, don’t be Rafael, you thought over and over again. There was silence from within, then a shuffling of clothes. Time seemed to slow as you waited. The heavy lock turned, then the door handle.

A very red-faced Rafael stood in the doorway, his hair mussed and his tie slightly crooked. Your heart stopped when his eyes locked to yours, filled with shame and remorse.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” he asked softly, eyes dropping to look at the floor.

“Who’s in there with you?”

He seemed to shrink in on himself. “N-no one—”

You pushed him out of your way and stuck your head in the bathroom. Yelina stood there, not looking in the least upset about being caught with your boyfriend. Her hair was a mess, and her dress was still hiked up on her hips.

“Oh,” you breathed, pulling your head back out of the bathroom. You wanted to rage, you wanted to rip Rafael apart. But instead, you felt nothing. A hollowness deep in your chest.

You turned to walk away, your mind shutting off, your body on autopilot. “Cariño, wait,” Rafael said, reaching out for you.

“I’m…going to my parent’s place. Don’t try and come over,” you mumbled. “I’ll come pick up my stuff later.”

He called your name, but you didn’t hear it. “Please! I-I made a mistake! Please can we talk about this?”

“If you have to choose between me and her, choose her. Because if you really loved me, there wouldn’t be any other choice,” you said, turning back to look at him. “Besides, it’s obvious that you choose her.”

Rafael had no response as you turned and left the building. Yelina came up behind him, kissing his cheek, and telling him that Alex was out of town, if Rafael wanted to stop by that night to finish what they started. But he didn’t hear her; all he heard was the sound of his relationship dying.

Shrugging Yelina off, he went back to his desk, ignoring the stares he received from his coworkers. But the tears started the moment he saw the paper bag, opening it to find a homemade lunch.

[tsukishumai]

pairing: miya atsumu x f!reader

tags: fluff, strangers to lovers

word count: 2.2k

Summary: You think of all the different versions you get of Atsumu throughout the day

Nights with Atsumu were unpredictable. Your heart always skipped a beat whenever you received one of his “are you free tonight?” texts, excitement never failing to course through your veins.

Miya Atsumu was an adventure.

He had been that way from the very first night you met him, crashing into him at a music festival your friends had dragged you to.

You had been lost for the past hour - separated from your group when you had mistakenly taken the wrong turn while trying to look for the restrooms. You’ve tried calling them time and time again, but the sheer amount of people at the event must have been doing something to the phone lines. None of your calls or texts were going through.

You mumbled a hurried apology, and you could practically feel the way he raked his gaze over your appearance. Though, there was nothing presentable about your current state; your hair (previously curled and styled carefully) was pulled up into a messy bun, dirt from the festival grounds stained your shoes and pants, and the expression on your face was nothing short of stressed.

“You lost, hun?” He had asked. While you would usually cringe at the pet name coming from a strangers mouth, the slight drawl of his accent made it sound sweet, and you couldn’t help but nod.

“It’s my first time coming to this festival - I have no idea where anything is.”

He nodded in understanding. “It can get pretty confusing if ya don’t know what you’re looking for,” he sighed out, reaching a hand out for you to take, “Come on, I’ll help you find em.”

Even then, having known the man for merely two minutes, you were never hesitant in taking his hand.

He quickly told his own group of the current situation, setting up a meet up spot for the end of the night in case Atsumu wasn’t able to find his way back to them in time.

(That was smart. You guys should have done that.)

You wondered why the blonde boy bothered to take the time out of his night to help you. Hadn’t he spent his own money to be here with his friends?

When you had asked him this question, he simply shrugged. “It wouldn’t be right of me to leave a beautiful girl all alone and lost in this huge festival now, would it?”

You didn’t find your friends for the rest of the night. You had instead spent it with Atsumu, jumping from stage to stage, claiming “maybe we’ll find them there?” but really, his favorite artist was up and he didn’t really want to miss it.

It shocked you how natural it felt to be with him; easy conversation flowed naturally, and the initial mission of his company was quickly forgotten, replaced instead with the dizzying thrill of his fingers wrapped around your wrist to make sure he didn’t lose you in the crowd.

“This is my favorite band,” he yelled into your ear, twirling you in circles as you danced along to the beat pummeling out of the speakers.

“I can see why!” You smiled at him, and the freedom you were feeling in that moment, dancing with a stranger that was quickly becoming a friend, was a better high than any drug.

Atsumu couldn’t dance at all - this was something you had pointed out during the second set you had watched together - but there was something in the way he just stuck his tongue out at you and continued to flail his limbs in some semblance of a rhythm with such confidence that you couldn’t help but find charming.

“Y/N!”

The frantic crying of your name made you whip your head around, and you see your best friend running over to you.

“We’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

You let your best friend scold you for going missing for four hours, pushing down the feeling of embarrassment as Atsumu snickered at you.

“Thanks for keeping me company,” you said, turning to him one last time before finally joining your original pack.

“Anytime,” he smiled, then pulled his phone out of his pocket before handing it to you, “Mind returning the favor some day?”

The grin on your face was brighter than any of the lights surrounding the stage, quickly entering your number and saving it.

It wasn’t even two days after the festival before you received your first invitation out from Atsumu.

There were nights when he took you out to his favorite bar on a Thursday night because shots were 2-for-1 on Thursdays. The two of you would always run into more than one for Atsumu’s friends, and you were more than happy to allow them to indulge you in one or two embarrassing stories of Atsumu. The smile on your face grew wider each time his blush would deepen, and you didn’t know you could find him more endearing than you already do.

There were nights when he would whisk you away to a secret spot in a part of the city you had never been to. “It’s a little bit of a hike,” he’d warn you. You’d have half a mind to reprimand him for letting you wear your new shoes knowing the path would be dirty, but you were shut up by the views. Atsumu came prepared with a blanket to lay down on, taking out snacks and drinks from the backpack he was carrying. Your heart clenched at his thoughtfulness, laying down to stare at the stars peppering the sky. “The moon looks really full,” you said. “Yeah, just like my heart is for you,” he cooed. You would share a laugh, shoving him slightly, but hoping with everything that he meant it.

There were nights when he would take you to visit his brother’s onigiri shop. He would always take you either at closing time or after, ensuring that the three of you had the place to yourself. You could feel this to be some sort of test - test of what, you weren’t sure but you knew you wanted to pass it. Osamu would bring out off the menu flavors, using the two of you as his test subjects. You and Atsumu would exaggerate your judgements, commenting as if you were judges on Top Chef. “The consistency of the rice provided a good mouth feel,” you commented, rubbing a hand on your chin. “The flavors meld together perfectly, creating a refined taste suitable for any palate,” Atsumu replies, and the two of you would burst out laughing, Osamu rolling his eyes and asking you to be serious.

It was after one of those nights, belly and heart full from the nonstop eating and laughing. Atsumu walked you all the way up to your door, saying it’s much too late for you to be on your own. With your key in the door, you turned to say your good bye, only to be met by the softness of atsumu’s lips.

Nights were when Miya Atsumu let you into his world.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

Afternoons were rarely spent with Atsumu.

You would think that sharing an apartment with the blonde setter would afford you more quality time, but he mostly spent his afternoons chasing his dreams.

You’ll never forget the afternoon the two of you had found out he had made onto his first pro-volleyball team; he was officially an MSBY Jackal. Happy tears were shed, on your part, but more so on his. Excitement stamped all over his face as he claimed he still had so much work to do.

You never held it against him when he came home late at night, the only interaction you’d have would be the kiss he placed on your forehead before climbing into his side of the bed. You didn’t mind that even though you were now living together, this was the most time you two would spend apart. It wasn’t like you were just waiting around; you had a job you loved and were dedicated to.

He never let you missed him too much, though.

“Are we almost there?” Atsumu gasped out, and you just threw your head back and laughed.

“What’s wrong? I thought volleyball players were supposed to have monstrous thighs or whatever?”

Atsumu grumbled. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t exhausting to scale a damn mountain!”

“Always so dramatic,” you mused, skipping ahead of him on the trail. Atsumu had a rare day off from practice, and insisted on doing whatever you wanted for the day. He was hoping you were going to say ‘let’s cuddle and stay in!’ Or ‘I want to go to that cafe I saw on Insta!’

But no, you went with “I want to go on a hike!”

It was his own fault, really. Ever since he would take you to look at the stars, you made it your mission to find all the little gems in your city.

“I swear to god, I’m gonna faint,” Atsumu placed the back of his hand on his forehead, “Please tell me we’re almost to the top!”

You grabbed his hand, pulling him up the last few steps of the trail.

“Ta da,” you sang out, out stretching your arms to present the view from the top.

Atsumu took on a deep breath and looked at the view. From the top of the trail, all that surrounded the two of you was the color green. Green leaves from towering trees that covered the face of the mountains that surrounded you. Green shrubs that littered around the forest floor, creating a lush carpet of foliage that stretched as far as you could see. In the space between the mountain ranges, Atsumu could see a hint of the ocean that lies beyond, and he could almost taste the salty air that always made his hair wavy.

The beauty of the earth surrounded him, reminding him of life flourishing all around, and all he could really look at was you.

The color of your eyes that sparkled like uncut gems when caught by the golden rays of the sun that was now nearing its highest peak in the sky could rival the most vibrant green nature could produce. The smile on your face was more blinding than the summer sun. All he could see was the beauty of the love that he knows only you could give him.

Afternoons were rarely spent with Atsumu, but he’s thankful for every chance he gets to be part of your world.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

Mornings with Miya Atsumu were lazy, and intimate.

The habit of early mornings were hard to break, and regardless of whether you set an alarm or not, the both of you would stir awake at the crack of dawn.

You could feel Atsumu’s heated breath on the back of your neck as he wrapped an arm around your waist. “Good morning,” he would mumble, voice still thick with last nights sleep, dripping into your ears like fresh honey.

“Good morning,” you would reply back, turning around to bury your face into his chest. You loved the way he would always pull you closer, as if there was no wya you could be close enough, trying to fuse you into his own body. You don’t care that you can’t really breathe in this position - there was no where else you would rather be.

Though you were willing to stay that way forever, it was only a matter of time before life interrupts peace and demands to be lived. After a few more soft kisses placed on any bare skin lips could get too, maybe a few fingers brushing through your rats nest of a hair, Atsumu always was the first get up out of bed. You’d try to beg him for a few more minutes, but he’d make you laugh and say “I’d love to doll, but my bladders bout to burst all over our sheets,” and you can’t do anything but laugh and let him go.

Atsumu always showered first since his days started earlier, and you would make your way downstairs to make coffee for the both of you. You usually drank it black, but you made Atsumu’s with a little extra cream. He never asks you to, but you always packed him a lunch and snacks to take to practice, leaving little notes with words of affirmation to get him through the day. The look of pure admiration and love you get when you simply hand him a lunch box, thermos, a peck on the lips, and a prayer for safety; you think this must be true happiness.

You walk back up to the bathroom to start your morning routine, and feel warmth spread all over when you see that he’s set up your toothbrush on the sink with a glob of toothpaste on top and a little cup of mouthwash prepared and ready for you to use.

You loved Miya Atsumu at all hours of the day, but mornings just might be your favorite.

In the morning, Miya Atsumu was just for you.

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Sixty Five

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

September 3rd, 1986

“Remy!” Toby yelled, dashing across the street and grabbing Remy’s arm. “Don’t do that!”

“Don’t do what? Cross the street?” Remy asked.

“Not before looking to make sure there aren’t any cars coming!” Toby exclaimed. “You could get run over if you’re not careful!”

“Nobody would run over a kid!” Remy said, complete conviction in his tone.

“Maybe not on purpose, but if they don’t see you, they might not stop until it’s too late! Don’t run across the street without looking both ways first, okay?”

Remy rolled his eyes. “Fine. Can we keep walking home, now?”

Toby sighed. “Fine. But be warned, if you’re not careful, you could get seriously hurt.”

Remy huffed. “Whatever.”

  June 12th, 2002

Remy chased Emile around the apartment until Emile was stuck in a corner and Remy tickled him relentlessly. Emile shrieked with laughter, trying to swat Remy’s hands away. “This is what you get for getting that song stuck in my head for the fiftieth time this week!” he exclaimed, a victorious grin splitting his face. “I can’t keep singing ‘I Want It That Way’ under my breath at work, August will kill me!”

“Okay, okay! I’m sorryyyy!” Emile squealed. “I can’t get it out of my head, either! Because you sing it then I sing it, and it’s one big feedback loop!”

Remy’s fingers retreated for half a moment, and Emile had Remy trapped in a bear hug, unable to move his arms whatsoever. “Emile! Lemme go!”

“Nope! Not until you promise to not tickle me over this anymore!” Emile declared.

“Never!” Remy exclaimed. “August nearly took my head yesterday for humming it under my breath, and I still have heart palpitations because of that! You deserve to be tickled for nearly killing me!”

Emile just held onto Remy tighter, and Remy squirmed and squirmed until he broke free of Emile’s grip, but Emile was running to the door before Remy could continue the tickling. “Hey, get back here!” Remy laughed, following Emile out the door.

But Emile was already heading down the stairs and out the building, and Remy sped after him, feet running as fast as his body would let him.

Emile glanced behind him and when he saw Remy, he ran faster, still giggling.

Remy was halfway through the parking lot when Emile was just barely at the sidewalk, glancing at the street and clearly assuming it was clear. But Remy could hear the sound of a car engine, getting closer, and his blood ran cold. “Emile!” he exclaimed. It was like everything happened in slow motion. He was pouring on the speed, feet propelling him faster than he thought possible through the parking lot. He could see a bright blue in his peripheral vision, growing bigger and bigger. He grabbed Emile by the collar of his shirt, yanking him backwards on the sidewalk...just as a pickup truck sped by.

Emile turned white as a sheet as Remy bent over, hands just above his knees, trying to catch his breath. “Oh,” Emile breathed.

“Did no one teach you to not run across the street, Emile?” Remy panted.

“I thought it was clear,” Emile breathed. “I didn’t see the truck.”

“Well, yeah, the guy was easily going fifty in a thirty five,” Remy wheezed. “I could hear him, but I doubt you could if you were laughing as hard as you were.”

“I almost died,” Emile said, still deathly pale. “I would be dead if you hadn’t grabbed me.”

“I’d really rather not think about that,” Remy sighed. He moved without feeling himself move, gripping Emile in a tight hug. “You ever do that again, and I’ll kill you myself.”

Emile lightly hugged Remy back, and were it not for Emile’s hyperventilating, Remy would wonder if he had realized what happened at all. Remy held Emile at arm’s length, looking him over. He knew that Emile hadn’t been clipped at all, Remy had yanked him back hard enough that Emile moved halfway across the sidewalk, but he still needed to see for himself that Emile was okay. “Let’s...let’s go back inside,” Remy said, at barely above a whisper.

All he got in return for that was a swallow and a nod. They made their way back inside, holding each others’ hands in a vice grip. Remy wasn’t sure if he would ever feel his fingers again after this, but at the moment he didn’t care all that much. Emile was alive and unhurt, and that was all that mattered.

They got back in their apartment, and went over to the couch, both of them collapsing onto it, Emile with a sigh and Remy with a shaky sob. Emile squeezed Remy’s hand, and Remy swallowed. “I thought I lost you,” he breathed, looking over at Emile. “I thought that you were gonna end up in the hospital, at the very least. Six feet under at worst. I thought...I thought...” He shook his head and choked back another sob.

Emile held Remy close as he cried, but he didn’t say anything. Remy could feel him shaking, though. Remy looked up at him. “Are you...that thing you talked about the other day? The nonverbal thing?”

“I-I-I-I do-do-don’t-don’t th-thi-thi-ink s-s-s-so...?” Emile said, each stuttered half-word punctuated with a gasp.

“That stutter’s pretty bad, though,” Remy said. “So you might be...kinda nonverbal? If that’s at all possible?”

“S-s-s-se-se-se-semi-mi-ver-bal,” Emile stammered out.

“Yeah, that,” Remy said. “Is it better if I don’t make you talk?”

Emile mutely nodded.

“Okay, I’ll try to stick to yes or no questions when I have to. Otherwise, I think just cuddling for a while will be okay.”

Emile nodded again and Remy buried himself in Emile’s side as his tears continued to fall. Without even realizing fully what he was doing, Remy started to talk. “Man, I had never really considered our own mortality before, you know? Like, I knew that one day you and I would...would no longer be here, but...I don’t know. It just...got shoved in my face today that one of us could die at any time. And I just...kinda assumed we’d be together until one or the other of us died. But I never considered the inevitable that comes after that. And...I mean...I had considered the thought of one of us calling this off. Us breaking up. Even after I realized that this is what I think of as soulmates. Especially after that. Because I wanted a plan in place in case you didn’t feel the same anymore. But I never thought about the far more likely option...we stay together until one of us dies. What happens then? Like, yeah, I could die first. That’s a possibility. But it’s one that I don’t have to plan for. And it’s a fifty-fifty chance, you know? I’d have to plan for what happens if you died first. And...I kinda ignored that fact for as long as I could, because I didn’t want to think about a world without you in it. Like, if we broke up at least you’d be alive still, and have the chance to be happy. If you died...Listen. I know that the world wouldn’t end. The apocalypse wouldn’t happen just because you died, it’s not like the city would burn to the ground. But...it would feel like my world ended. And...I just...I don’t know how I would cope with that.”

Emile squeezed Remy tight and Remy took a breath. “I know I shouldn’t fixate on this. It’s a morbid thing to think about. But...but really, what happens when all of this comes to an end? What happens if... when... one of us kicks the bucket?”

“We-we-we w-w-wou-would-would ha-ha-have p-pl-plan-ans i-i-in pl-place,” Emile stammered.

“But we don’t have those plans, Emile. That’s my point. And we have to face the fact that we’re not going to live forever. You know? We have to prepare one of these days,” Remy said.

“O-o-one o-of the-the-the-these da-days. N-n-not t-to-today, m-my lo-ove,” Emile pleaded in between gasps. “To-to-today le-let-let’s ju-just fo-cus on-on-on-on the...the fac-ct that we’re-re...alive.”

“You sound like a dying fish,” Remy said, only mildly hysterical. “Stop trying to talk. Clearly, you need to calm down some more before talking again. I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

Emile giggled, sounding hysterical himself, heaving gasps in between giggles. Remy wrapped his arms around Emile’s chest, hoping to calm him down, however little that calm was.

They stayed like that for another half an hour easily, Emile’s giggles slowly tapering off and Remy intermittently crying, holding onto Emile like a life raft. Eventually, Emile slowly extricated himself from Remy’s grasp. “Remy...Remy,” Emile said when Remy tried to continue hugging him. “Remy, I have to pee.”

Remy reluctantly put his hands back in his lap, and simply requested, “Hurry back.”

Emile nodded and went to the bathroom quickly. Remy scrubbed his face. He was happy that if this had to happen, it was on a day where neither of them had work. That would have been unfortunate, nearly dying and then being separated for hours on end, unable to talk about what happened. He would be a nervous wreck at work.

When Emile came back, he collapsed on the couch with a sigh. “Thank you,” he said.

Remy blinked. “For what?”

“For nearly choking me when you grabbed my shirt collar,” Emile laughed. “I never did thank you.”

“Oh. Don’t mention it,” Remy said softly.

“Remy...do you think we should get our affairs in order?” Emile asked. “Like, obviously we can’t do that in a single day when we’re just starting, but. For the future. In case anything unfortunate happens. We should have contingency plans.”

“Yeah,” Remy agreed. “And we should probably plan for what happens if one of us ends up in the hospital.”

“Update our emergency contacts. I think my parents are still my primary emergency contacts,” Emile mused.

“Oh, God, I think my mother is still my emergency contact. That needs to change ASAP,” Remy said. “I’d rather have you be in charge of my medical stuff when I can’t make the decision for myself. I don’t want my mother to get a call that I’m in the hospital and have her ban you from visiting and whisking me away, back there.”

Emile sniffed a tiny laugh, and Remy frowned. “What? What’s so funny about that?”

“Not funny, exactly, but happy, I guess,” Emile said. “You said ‘back there,’ not ‘back home.’ I just...you made that distinction.”

“Well, yeah. That house isn’t my home. My home isn’t even a what. It’s a who,” Remy said.

Emile was biting back a grin, and Remy rolled his eyes. “Yes, that’s you, you dork. Stop being so smiley about it.”

“Never,” Emile vowed, hugging Remy tight.

“Emile! Lemme go!” Remy laughed.

“Nope!” Emile exclaimed.

“Hey! Come on!” Remy exclaimed. “You’re gonna suffocate me!”

Emile giggled. “Remy, I would never do such a thing! You wound me!”

Remy poked Emile’s side and Emile yelped, releasing his hold on Remy just enough for Remy to roll out of the hold and onto the floor, laughing. He leapt to his feet and sprinted to the bedroom, grabbing his pillow so when Emile followed him, he was immediately met with a feathery end. Emile shoved Remy’s pillow out of his face with a laugh, grabbing his own pillow and whacking Remy with it.

The two chased each other around the apartment, hitting each other with pillows and laughing like nothing in the world would ever be as funny again. They kept running until Remy tripped over a chair leg and crashed to the floor. “Rem?! You okay?!” Emile asked, rushing over.

“Ow. Yeah, I’m fine,” Remy said, pushing himself into a sitting position. “That hurt, but it’s not the worst scrape I’ve ever gotten. I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so,” Emile said, worrying his lip.

“I do say so,” Remy said. “But maybe we should cut back on the pillow fights, at least for now. I think I used up all the energy I had left.”

“That’s fair,” Emile said, offering Remy a hand.

Remy took it and the two stood there a moment, uncertainty on both their faces. “...Do you want to help out at the shelter tonight?” Emile asked.

A beat. “...Yeah, okay. When should we head out?”

Emile checked the time and hummed. “I don’t know. Anywhere from now to half an hour and we should be fine.”

“May as well go now, then. Maybe we could talk to Bernie and see what he has to say about wills and stuff. I don’t know if he has any experience, but he might,” Remy pointed out.

“True,” Emile said.

They put their pillows back on the bed and headed out, this time double checking the street before they crossed it.

[avungerthatgotaway]

Till we ain't strangers anymore (Part 1)

Sooo here is part 1 of "Till we ain't strangers anymore". What do you think of it? If you haven't read the prologue, you can read it here.

Summary: after "the blip" avengers are on the different sides of world. But 2 of them stay together. Y/N Y/L/N and Clint Barton's families are gone, but they found each other. They have nothing except of the little family of 2.

Warnings: mentiones of nosebleed and blood, if it means anything and mention of a fight

Pairings: none ( I mean it is Clint x teen!reader but not romantical, does that count?)

Genre: angst/fluff

---------------------

"I'm going Clint!" I yelled as I exited the house with my guitar in hand. I mean, it wasn't really a house, but Clint and I liked to call it that way. It was basically smallest wooden building with 2 rooms. One was a bathroom, and in the other was kitchen with 2 couches, which were actually serving as beds for ne and Clint.

He stood up from his couch, and came to hug me. "Stay safe kiddo."

-

I exited the house, it was cold morning but I didn't mind. I made my way to a little town near, where I played guitar on street everyday. It was a way to earn the living. Clint couldn't find the job. He fixed something for our neighbours, or some random people from time to time, but nothing permanent. It was crisis in the world as it is, and we weren't the only one struggling. But it could've been better. Better, or worse, depends on which side you watch. We were considering becoming lone warriors. We could have much more and do what we do the best: fight.

But we didn't let sorrow and pain drive us into dark places.

So here I am now, singing Let her go and strumming my guitar, hoping people will give me something, or at least stop by to listen to my singing. Until a street gang passed by. They beat me up, destroyed my guitar and stole the little money I have earned.

I felt awful. It started raining, and I went home crying. The guitar was the only thing I kept that reminded me of my parents, and of a life before this madness.

I knocked and when Clint opened the door, he was shocked. Worry quickly took over his features, as he ushered me in the house and started looking for something to help me. Finnaly he setteled with me and supplies on couch, and started cleaning my wounds.

"Y/N, what happened, dear?" he asked as he cleaned blood from my nose with a wet cloth. I was still crying a little, because it hurts.

"A street gang, they beat me up, stole my money and they de-destroyed m-my guita-ar.." I was full crying now. I felt horrible for the guitar, and Clint knew it. He hugged me close and comforted me. "Shhh, it's gonna be okay, everything's fine, you're safe now with me..." I did feel safer with him, so my crying slowly stopped.

After he made sure I'm okay and patched up my wounds, we had dinner. I mean we ate a few cookies, but it's better then nothing, right? Then we got ready for sleep, and layed down on out separate couches. I don't think I'll be able to sleep but never mind.

"N/N?" I hear him calling me. "You know...?"

"Yes, I'm still thinking about it too." and I did. Especially now. The idea didn't seem all that bad. We could be good warriors, and we both don't have anything holding us back from dark side. Except for each other. But if we both are there, then it's okay, right?

"I mean, I onow it's not the best thing..." he continiued. "But it's better than this, I know" I finished. "Yea."

"But what about your future? College? Anything?" and here we go with "the future" question.

"Clint. I don't go to school, that's how poor we are. I can't think of a college."

"But you did have dreams, right?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Well at least let me know what they were."

"I wanted to go to army. And continiue being an avenger, of course. But I wanted to be a Navy SEAL too. But that's impossible now."

"Maybe it's not."

"Oh cmon, you know it is."

"What if we do this warrior thing until we have money for your school and college?"

"What about you?"

"It's too late for me."

"No it's not."

"Y/N, we've been over this a million times."

"No! I won't save myself by going to army, and let you be ronin forever!"

"It's okay. I don't look at it like that."

"But I do. If I ever have an opportunity to go to the army, I wanna be sure that you're safe first. And that's the only way I'll go." he just didn't understand how important he is to me.

"I love you kiddo."

"I luv you too da-Clint." OMG I'M FREAKING OUT INSIDE. IT ALMOST SLIPPED. I ALMOST CALLED HIM DAD.

"So, how are we gonna het to Japan?"

"Well, we still have the money we saved just in case. It's not much, but it should be enough for tickets."

"Yea. Well good night N/N."

"Night night Clint."

And that's where new chapter of our lives started.

---------------------

If you just talk to me baby, till we ain't strangers anymore❄

-------------------------------------------------------

Imma just tag some pplz that helped me now or stuff haha @afictionaladventure16 @rae-is-typing @elles-writing

[the-everlasting-dream]

Own Personal Superman (Rafael x MC)

Summary: Jaya discovers that getting locked out of her friend’s apartment may not be the worst thing in the world..

A/N:  This is my submission for the Choices Fandom Game: A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words. I was given my picture by my friend and writer extraordinaire @likethetailofacomet The photo doesn’t reeeeally fit but ehh 

Word Count: Elle’s brain cannot be captured in 1000 words ok 3070

Warnings: Swearing

Writer Tags: @speedyoperarascalparty @ao719  @leelee10898 @riseandshinelittleblossom @zaffrenotes @drakewalkerwhipped @stopforamoment @annekebbphotography @lizeboredom @boneandfur @mind-reader1 @jovialyouthmusic @ooo-barff-ooo @bobasheebaby @ownworldresident @hopefulmoonobject @sleepwalkingelite @likethetailofacomet @silviasutton1989 @blackcatkita @blackcoffee85 @kennaxval @andy-loves-corgis @callmetippytumbles @iplaydrake @the-everlasting-dream @brightpinkpeppercorn @agent-bossypants @tornbetween2loves @dcbbw @rainbowsinthestorm @choicesbyjade @breaumonts @thehonorarybeaumont @pixelsandkink @innerpostmentality @katedrakeohd @darley1101 @carabeth @sirbeepsalot @strangerofbraidwood Readers: @cocomaxley @mfackenthal @moneyfordiamonds @romanticatheart-posts  @choicesarehard @gibbles82 @wannabemc2

-

‘Mikey, come on!’ Jaya yelled, pounding on the door of her supposed best friend’s balcony door. ‘I said I was sorry okay? Now let me in!’ 

There was no answer from the other side of the door as there hadn’t been for the last twenty minutes. Jaya shivered against the cold Boston air, wrapping the thin white bathrobe she was wearing tighter against her shoulders in an attempt to protect herself against the wind that whipped across the side of the apartment building. 

When the subject of Michaela’s kink came up, Jaya could never resist a good jab, especially at her equally sassy best friend, driving her up the wall with her teasings about one Dr Zaid Mirani. Usually Michaela would have been up for a good ribbing, giving as good as she got but so soon after the — Jaya shuddered again now at the memory of it — Mirani incident, she should have known better than to believe her friend’s attempt at covering up her feelings. In her heart, Jaya realised belatedly, she shouldn’t have gone too far and now she was paying for it dearly. Locked out on the balcony of her friend’s townhouse dressed in little more than her underwear and a flimsy bathrobe — she’d just come out of the shower — was enough to teach her a lesson and now that it was learnt, she was ready to come back in. 

 ‘Mikey come on dude,’ Jaya cajoled, jiggling the door handle. 'This stopped being funny a long time ago.’ 

 ‘You sure the joke’s over?’ Her friend’s acerbic tone sounded through the door. ‘I wouldn’t trust your judgement with that.’ 

Jaya winced. 'Okay I deserved that. Now can you please let me in?’ 

Something slipped through the mail slot landed at her bare feet. ‘Get yourself out of this one Da Silva. I don’t have time for your bullshit.’

‘Fuck you Michaela Quinn,’ she snapped viciously, raising her fists to rain more blows on the door.

If I end up breaking it, its on her.

Somewhere to Jaya's left, a window was opened and a string of what she guessed were Chinese curses were aimed at her, making her drop her raised arms. As annoyed as she was with Mikey, she wasn’t going risk getting yelled at by her cranky neighbour. 

 It was then that Jaya finally looked down to the object that had fallen through the mail slot at her feet. 

An old school flip phone. 

Why does Mikey even have one of these?  She sighed in annoyance as she glanced through the window at her actual phone lying on the coffee table on the other side of the glass. So close but so far… 

Flipping open the phone, she immediately dialled in Mikey’s number which immediately went to voicemail and she snapped the phone shut, aggravated but unsurprised that her friend had taken the care to block the number before giving it to her. Jaya dialled in another number, Sienna’s, but that got redirected to an automated voice message reminded her that Sienna had changed her number the week past. 

 If only I wasn’t so crap at remembering phone numbers. 

 The only ones she remembered were Mikey’s and her own mother’s —she shuddered at the thought of placing a call to the ever unimpressed Rani Da Silva, not needing yet another lecture about how irresponsible she was, she’d had plenty of those her entire life. Deciding against it, she pushed at the tiny buttons until she reached the phone’s phonebook, hoping that Mikey would have at least been kind enough to put the number of one of her housemates in or at least the building’s superintendent to let her back in. 

 Jaya groaned out loud as she saw the two lone contacts entered into the phone book. Jesus Mikey how long have you been planning this?

Hawaiian Justin Bieber

Wholesome Superman

She cursed her friend silently again for delivering this special torment.  She was in little but her bathrobe, stuck on the balcony of a Boston townhouse and she had two choices: Dr Bryce Lahela or EMT Rafael Aveiro. 

She regretted telling Michaela about her crush on both very attractive, very available men who both seemed to show interest in her. She was drawn to them both in different ways after hanging out one-on-one on separate occasions and she just couldn’t choose. She was hoping that by waiting it out a solution would present itself and she would get to avoid making the decision.

Right now, if she wanted to get off this goddamn balcony, a decision had to be made. Mentally scanning over their schedules in her head — Mikey would have never let her hear the end of it, if she knew Jaya actually committed both men’s timings to her memory — she groaned again and made her choice. 

The phone rang and rang as Jaya paced to small balcony, anxiety welling up in her. What if he didn’t pick up? What if he couldn’t come? What if he didn’t want to? She was so wrapped up in her doubts that she hadn’t realised he’d picked up at first. 

‘Hello?’ 

‘Rafael, hi, its Jaya, Jaya Da Silva from Edenbrook,’ she began, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously. ‘Uh… how are you?’ 

His chuckle echoed through the speaker. ‘I’m good, little surprised. How are you?’ 

‘I’m uh good…’ Jaya blurted out reflexively, her voice going up higher at the end as a gust of wind blew a chill up the flaps of the robe. ‘Uhh..’ 

Rafael’s voice sounded concerned now. ‘Um Jaya… is everything okay?’ 

She squeezed her eyes shut, running a hand over her face as she cursed her supposed best friend for the hundredth time. ‘Umm Raf… are you busy now?’ 

‘No not really, what’s up? Do you need help?’ 

She didn’t deserve him, she’d gotten herself into a ridiculous situation and she had her own stupidity to thank for that. That and one Dr Michaela Quinn. She took a deep breath and decided to bite the bullet. 

‘See its actually a real funny story…’ 

Rafael listened patiently while she blabbered on in the most roundabout way of describing her current predicament, hoping he would not think it was a prank call and hang up the phone.

 ‘…so yeah. That’s what… That’s me right now,’ she trailed off awkwardly, stomach in knots. 

 ‘Well I can’t say this is one of the strangest call outs I’ve had in my career,’ he replied good-naturedly. ‘Why don’t you text me your address and I’ll drop by your place, pick up some clothes and come rescue you.’ 

‘That would be amazing,’ Jaya answered, relief immediately diffusing from her body. She thanked him profusely and hung up to text him the address. Sliding down into a sitting position seemed to be better defence against the cold and Jaya leaned back against the brick wall.

Rafael Aveiro was one of the sweetest, kindest people she’d ever met, his inclination to help people was boundless and that was one of the things she’d admired most about him. Unlike most guys he was also honest and open, not afraid to get real about his family life like he had on the helicopter ride they’d taken together. His childhood stories had seemed so sweet, she didn’t want to ruin the vibe by telling the truth about hers. Everything about him was just so wholesome — hence Mikey’s nickname for him — Jaya didn’t want to complicate things by bringing him into her own problems. But she’d done just that and now he was going to see her in little more than her bathrobe. 

Jaya sighed, dropping her head in her hands. Why do I always seem to get into situations like this? She hadn’t realised she’d dozed off until the phone in her lap started to buzz and she almost dropped it in her eagerness to answer the call. 

 ‘Hey are you here?’

‘Yep just walking around the back,’ Rafael’s deep voice sounded out. ‘Your roommate Sienna gave me a bunch of clothes while Jackie stared me down the entire time. I don’t think she likes me.’ 

Jaya couldn’t help but laugh. ‘She doesn’t like anyone.’ 

‘Where are yo- Ah I can see you.’ 

 A glance downwards brought Rafael’s dark head into view and as he climbed up the metal staircase, Jaya wrapped the bathrobe tighter around her, trying not to focus on the way his arms flexed. 

 ‘Hi.’ HIs eyes scanned over her outfit. ‘Do I wanna know?' 

'Just call me Trouble,’ Jaya replied, as he passed her the small duffle bag with her clothes in it. ‘You stand guard, Turn around. I’m going to change.’

‘Yes ma’am,’ he chuckled, dutifully turning away to give her some privacy.

Shivering slightly against the cold, Jaya hastily threw on the jeans and top her roommate had picked for her, thanking her lucky stars that Sienna had picked out her outfit rather than Jackie or Elijah. ‘All done,’ she announced preemptively as she stood hopping on one foot as she tried to slip her sneakers on, eager to get out of this embarrassing situation. Rafael has only just turned when her toe caught on the metal railing and she tipped off balance. Jaya shot her arms out to brace herself for impact but it never came. Instead she found herself in the strong arms of her latest savior, bodies pressed together closer than ever before. 

 ‘You okay?’ Rafael asked, looking down at her with a paramedic’s concern as he helped her regain her balance. 

 ‘Y-yeah,’ she mumbled, driven to speechlessness with him just inches away, unable to stop her eyes from sliding down to his lips and the prospect of kissing him seemed much more appealing. ‘You’re like my own personal Superman.’

 His lips curved up into smile. ‘Does that make you Lois Lane?' 

She shrugged, not trusting her voice and together they climbed down the staircase to where his car was waiting. As soon as she shut the door, Jaya’s sense seemed to flow back to her.

‘Thank you for that,’ she blurted out after giving him the address to her apartment. ‘You didn’t have to help me out you know. I know its your day off and you’ve probably got better things to do than to go around saving-’ 

Rafael gave her an easy smile, holding up a dismissive hand to pause her ramblings as he began to drive away from Mikey’s townhouse. ‘Jaya its fine. I didn’t mind at all really.’ 

 ‘You’re way too nice for your own good,’ she told him after a pause. ‘Paramedic, part time Superman, nicest guy alive. Are you sure you don’t have some super dark secret you’re hiding under that nice front?’ 

He laughed at her words. ‘If I do, I’m yet to find it.’ 

Jaya stroked her chin thoughtfully. ‘I mean what gives? No one is ever just that nice.’ 

‘I’m not just anyone Jaya,’ he smiled again, eyes twinkling as he stopped at the lights. 

 ‘So who are you Rafael Aveiro?’ She propped up an arm on the centre arm rest, leaned in closer and narrowed her eyes at him. 

He mimicked her expression, arm next to hers. ‘Guess you’ll have to stick around long enough to find out.' 

‘Is that how its going to be?’ 

‘That’s how its going to be,’ he shared her grin. 

Still chuckling, Jaya settled back in her seat and they shared a comfortable silence for a few moments. ‘So what were you going to do on your day off? Y’know, if you weren’t saving a damsel in distress.’ 

‘I was going to go hiking with some friends, I like to get out on my days off. I drive around this city all week but I never get to see it properly.’ 

She felt a rush of guilt flood through her. ‘I’m sorry. I must have completely ruined your plans.’  

‘No, no its fine,’ he started to say but she held a hand up. 

‘No its not. Please go on your hike. I’ll feel terrible if you don’t get to go.' 

‘Only one one condition.’ He raised his chin at her. 

‘Name it.’ 

‘You join me.’ 

 Jaya’s eyebrows shot up. He couldn’t be serious. ‘You want me to come?’ 

He gave her another smile. ‘You doing anything for the next few hours?’ 

‘Noo...,’ she admitted, hesitating for a moment before looking at Rafael’s boyish grin. Spontaneity was the last thing she usually did but this time she couldn’t help but grin back at him. ‘Alright lets do it.’

-

‘So do you always take girls you’ve just saved on long hikes in the woods?’ Jaya asked, trying to hide the fact that she was panting a little. 

 Rafael grinned back at her from where he was a few paces ahead, pausing so she could catch up. ‘You’d be the first.’ 

She raised an eyebrow amusedly. ‘In that case, I should feel special. By the way do you know where we are going? Because I have no idea.’ She paused for a moment. ’This is the dark secret you’re keeping, you brought me all the way out here to kill me and dump my body in the woods.’ 

‘Is your sense of humour always this morbid?’ He shot her an amused look. 

‘Why do you think I became a doctor? Death jokes for days sonnnn,’ she winked. 

Rafael studied at her thoughtfully for a long moment as they walked. ‘Did little Jaya always know she wanted to be a doctor?’ 

Jaya felt her cheerful demeanour drop as the lump in her throat began to build and suddenly it was much too hard to swallow. ‘I uh...’ 

She felt tears prick the back of her eyes. She was not going to cry about this. Not here. Not in front of him. He didn’t need to be drawn into any more of her problems. 

‘I guess its just something I…always knew I’d do.’ She looked up to see him eyeing her carefully and she silently hoped he wouldn’t push her. 

 ‘I see,’ he replied, nodding in understanding and they continued on for a few moments up the incline. Anxiety rippled through her as Jaya tried to find the right words, hoping Rafael wouldn’t think she was brushing her off or that she was rude or — 

‘I-Its just… My childhood was a bit… turbulent. I’d rather not talk about it if that’s okay with you?’ 

 ‘Jaya,’ Rafael caught her hand, making her look back at him. ‘You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to okay?’ 

She nodded, squeezing his hand a little and they continued their walk. Jaya glanced down at their clasped hands and couldn’t help but smile a little at the sight. She took a deep breath of the clean air, doubting that the EMT had any idea how calming his presence was. She was already starting to like him a lot more. Eventually, guided by Rafael, they made it to the top of the hill overlooking the entire Boston area. 

 ‘Wow,’ Jaya breathed, sinking to the ground and taking in the view. ‘Its breathtaking.’ 

‘Its one of my favourite views,’ Rafael put in, sitting down next to her. ‘Whenever it gets too much, I like to come up here and it reminds me how small my problems are in comparison.’ 

She nodded. 

Right now, all the things weighing on her mind, the competition for the place on the diagnostics team, the feeling of never being good enough, her struggles with her mother and her childhood, the duty she felt to herself to always be the best and do the best all didn’t seem so bad. 

‘Perspective.' 

He nodded and they sat together for a while in a comfortable silence. At some point Jaya looked over at him, the setting sun caught perfectly on his dark eyes and she felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him. Rafael let her take him in, smiling a little. 

Then almost magnetically, Jaya felt herself drawing closer to him and slowly tantalisingly the space between them decreased and his lips were on hers in a soft slow kiss. His hand came up to caress her cheek slightly and she placed an arm on his bicep as they parted. 

 ‘Wow,’ she breathed after a moment, eyes flickering open to see him looking at her tenderly. 

‘Yeah.’ He ran a thumb over her cheek and Jaya leaned in again, wanting more of him but he gently stopped her. ‘If its okay, I’d like to leave it there for today.’ 

‘Ookay…’ Her mind clouded over with doubts. Was she a bad kisser? Did he not like her? 

Rafael seemed to read her mind immediately. ‘I like you a lot Jaya but I don’t wanna rush this. I made that mistake before and I don’t want to make it again with an amazing woman like you. Is that okay?’ 

Jaya breathed a sigh of relief. ’That’s completely fine. Go as slow as you need.�� 

He smiled softly at her before getting to his feet and pulling her up. ‘I should get you home before your roommates start to worry.’ 

 She didn’t want their evening to end but she wanted to respect his request to take it slow so she allowed him to lead her back down the trail, keeping his hand firmly in hers until he chivalrously held the car door open for her to get in. 

A short drive later, they were standing outside her apartment building and he came to stand in front of her. 

‘Thank you for the save Rafael Aveiro.’ She look up at him, smiling. 

 ‘Thank you for the hike Jaya Da Silva.’ 

Again Jaya felt the urge to kiss him again but squashed the request down. ‘Is a goodnight kiss out of the question?’ She whispered, silently hoping he’d indulge her again. 

 ‘I think I can handle that,’ he grinned back dipped his head down to capture her lips again. 

Jaya rest her hands on his strong chest as their kiss was soft and sweet just like the last time. Just like him. 

 As they parted for the night, Jaya couldn’t help the smile on her face. She was looking forward to seeing a lot more of her own personal Superman in the near future.

[el-dibidibidorado1]

Untamed Pt.7

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x plus size MASTERLIST

A/n: sorry for the late update! I hope you guys had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

"Y/N?!"

Noooooo it's my day off! Pulling the blankets over my head and rolled over.

"Y/N?!" Noooooooo.

"Y/N!" Angrily I sit up and bring the blanket down. My eyes open and....... What the fuck? There is a Christmas tree in the middle of my room?! Oh my god there is a real pine tree in the middle of my room!

Slowly, I crawl out of my bed and sit In front of the tree. The smell filled my nose heavenly and the ornaments.......looked familiar. Except for this one, a turtle dove? My fingers softly touch the dove. Who put this here? All of this.

"Y/N" Mom and Ed open my door with scared and angry expressions.

"Someone broke i-" mom looked at the Christmas tree and looked back at me then back at the tree.

"Ta-ta da" I nervously say and extend my arms out.

"I don't know if I should ask how this got here?" Ed pointed at the tree.

"Good. Cause I don't know how either" they both came in and sat next to me looking at the tree. It's beautiful. Whoever placed it here is amazing. Creepy, but amazing.

"It smells amazing" all of us take a deep breath, taking in the wonderful smell. Who knows how long we sat there just looking at the tree.

"Who wants pancakes?" I asked.

"Me" Mom said touching the turtle dove

"This is new" I nod my head and take it down.

"Usually there is two. One for a friend and one to keep, but here we have one."

"Should we freak out about all of this?" Ed questioned. I feel like if I should, but I don't. Why? Why can't I freak out about this?

"Oooh these are nice!" I look at Ed playing with some sunglasses. The sunglasses! I forgot to give them to Bucky! Aw man!

"Take those off! They are a gift to someone!" I get up and take them off his huge head.

"WHO?" He asked childish, putting his hands to the side.

"Someone special" I place them in the desk.

"Well I'm going to make the pancakes, get ready we're going to grandma's" we all got up and went out separate ways. Getting my clothes ready I head to the shower. The marks are gone but now there is a scar left behind, make up will do.

With no care I put my music on and get in the shower. I have gone back to showering once a one or twice times a day and it is fine, still feel dirty, but I can't let it get to me.

I let the music take over me and begin singing while washing my hair.

~send you my love on a wire~

~lift you up every time~

~everyone oooooooooo~

The thought of someone breaking in kinda scared me, and the thought of someone placing it in my room while I was sleeping made it worst. Holy shit! I mean the tree is beautiful, but who could have put it in there it's super heavy, and so quietly too. Rosie and Caroline know that I wanted a really tree for Christmas! Them bitches will give me socks or something they dont want. They are out.

A real Christmas tree is all I wanted! But who did I also mentioned that I wanted one. Then the realization hit me like a bowling ball hitting a pin.

"BUCKY!" I yell and open my eyes making soap get in. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck that stings. I hurry and get the soap off and finish my shower in a speedy.

Quickly I dry my body and comb my hair. I should have known from the beginning that it was him. My stomach began to get butterflies as I thought about Bucky bringing a pine tree into my house quietly. He gave me a real Christmas tree for Christmas!

"Mom! I need to go somewhere can I get the car?!" I yelled running down the stairs.

"Is 12:37 we need to be at grandmas at 2" she was still making pancakes.

"I'll be back super duper fast!" She gave me her serious look. Come on, please.

"Please I need to go" I gave her my best puppy eyes. Fall for them, fall for them! She threw me the keys, happily I gave her a kiss and ran out. As i raced to Bucky's place I began trying to wrap the sunglasses. That's it! Is that all I am going to really give him! NO! I need to buy him something else! Should I just wait? Or give him the sunglasses?

"Nope! I'm waiting!" Getting out of the car I slip on ice but manage to get a hold of the car door. Getting myself together I go and knock on his door.

Knock knock knock!

I wait for 10 minutes but he doesn't answer. Ugh he's not home! I hit my head against the door. After a couple of seconds I get in the car and head straight home. What did I expect? he has family, duh. Getting home I literally flop myself on the couch.

"Where were you?" Ed asked me.

"Hukmmmmmm" my face was squished against the pillow.

"Huh?"

"I know who gave meee the tree!!!!" Shouted into the pillow. He sat next to me and put a hand on my back.

"His name is Bucky Barnes." He just hummed.

"Ed say something?"

"What do I say?"

"I dont know?! Something?!"

"Is he different?" I nod

"Is he like the other guys?" I shake my head

"Have you....you know?" I shake my head again. I lift my head and look at the destroyed artificial tree. A little chuckle escaped me thinking about Bucky just trying to get all the ornaments.

"How did you guys meet?"

"Work" I sit up trying to fix my hair. He didn't ask anything else. We ate and went to grandma's. We did the same thing over and over again, eat dinner, sit In front of the t.v. or look at the stupid fake tree, then open presents and asking where my boyfriend is, then we eat more. Same. Shit. Over. And. Over. Again.

--------------

"Hey Bucko" Tony sat next to me while drinking his spiked eggnog.

"Hey" he gave me one and I gladly drank it. Alcohol didn't affect Steve or I. Super solder serum.

"Ready for presents?" I nod my head and look at the tree. Damn, Tony goes all out! The thing is almost touching the ceiling.

"You know I didn't buy anything for you guys......i thought I wasn't going to come."

"Hey. Your presence is better than anything" he puts his head on my shoulder and finishes his eggnog.

"Tony what are you doing?" Nat asked amused.

"Don't ruin the moment!" Tony yelled and began digging into his pocket.

"Here take a picture. And post it on my Twitter account. Saying something nice" he put his head back on my shoulder and his hand on my chest like a couple.

"Smile honey"

"No" i deadpan.

"Come On sweetheart" I try moving away but he pulls me back down.

"COME ON. LOVE MEEEEE" I manage to get up and Tony falls to the floor getting a hold of my leg.

"3......2......1!" Nat takes the picture. She showed us the picture cracking up.

"Ohh Oh this is perfect" Tony let's me go and grabs his phone and process to upload the picture.

"Come and open presents!" Steve yells. Once we where all in the room Sam had a Santa hat while giving out the presents. Everyone got a bunch of presents! I got one but it didn't matter I felt good. Bunch of clothes and video games where scattered across the room it was amazing! It felt like home, I just missed someone.

"I know......Buck" Steve caught my attention from Peter teaching me how to use my new phone.

"Hm?" Both Steve and Tony give me a heavy box.

"This is from all of us." Tony said with a huge smile on his face. I began ripping the paper. Man, I felt so excited! I don't care if i just got two presents they ment something important. A record player!

"Look inside" clint said.

A bunch of old records that I enjoyed from the past. I got up and hugged Steve for the wonderful memory before war.

"Hey Bucko" I felt overwhelmed by the gift that a lump formed in my throat.

"There is something else Buck" I look at them and they had huge smiles.

"We might have gotten Tony to make you a mp3 player and put new music in there. It's the songs we think you might like. Some of our favorites too" Clint said as I open the small box inside the case.

"Thank you" I mumbled. I feel overwhelmed with comfort and care.

" Mr. Bucky sir are you crYING? " slowly I wipe my cheek. I guess I am. I try to hid the little tears but I guess I failed.

"I guess I am kid" I lightly chuckled and Peter gave me a bone crushing hug.

"DoN' t cRY" I...

"Peter..." can't...

"Peter........" breath..

"PeTER!!"

"Yes Mr.Stark?"

"Let him go. He can't breath!" Soon as he let go I felt myself take a large amount of air.

"Damn kid you got a strong hold" my voice came out raspy. Laughter filled the room.

---------

"Here we are Buck" Steve turned on the truck. He wanted to drive to my studio. 3 hour drive just talking and singing like old times.

"Thanks Steve and Sam"

"Yeah whatever. But next time can we hear music from this era! I wanna hear some Kanye West man!" Sam kept on blabbing and blabbing. Ignoring Sam I got out and walked to my door with my stuff.

"Hey" I whip my head to the side and see Y/n.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" I open the door and let her in first.

"Thanks. Umm I wanted to th-thank you for the tree. It's beautiful" her cheeks turned pink. "Welcome" I mumbled and placed my stuff on the bed.

"I got you something.." she gave me a Christmas bag. "It's not like your gift sadly. I wish I could give you something better" I open the bag and see the sunglasses that i wanted and a DVD movie. Dumbo.

"We can finally see the movie. If you want." She was nervous, I can tell. All I need is her presence, she made this Christmas better.

"Y/n, you watching the film with me will make my Christmas perfect"

Tags: @tnupsweetpie