#..Ishnail..

[altermentality]

East Side boys

[x-naut-fortress]

ishnail redesign

[paperpeachy]

i miss tape

[thearsonistofarland]

the fault lies with you ishnail

[sonxfdoom]

When the boy awoke, it was rather odd. He couldn’t remember a thing, and the home he was in certainly wasn’t his own. It almost reminded him of the hospital with how nice it was, but the fresh wood for the bed-frame and the smooth and clean walls really set a feeling of home in this place. Even the photos by the bedside made him reminisce of the old home he resided in for years. It was almost surreal in all honesty. Whoever owned this place was very rich, and whoever they were, must have also been very nice to take someone like him into their home.

A knock resounded from the door, causing the boy to look over to the wonderfully made door. Why was everything so nice here? Was he really at his world? “Are you finally awake in there?” A voice called out, low with a bit of a grumble, which sounded wonderful to his ears. The boy would have responded, but he seemed to be tongue-tied. What would the man say? As much kindness as this man showed, he still knew no motives or what he was even like.

Slowly the door opened, revealing a rather handsome man. Hair low under a hat, green eyes big and lazily covered by his dark eyelids. Hair covered the lower half of his face and extended down his chest and appearing on his stomach and below. The man certainly indulged in his wealth, judging by his stomach alone, and Gohan wouldn’t lie to himself; this man was really, well to put it bluntly: attractive.

“Ah, you’re awake. Good to see.” The man stated rather, bluntly. Of course, Gohan didn’t mind that too much at all- how else would someone break the tension of a mood? “Feel alright? Anythin’ broken?”

“N-No, I don’.. I don’ thin’ so.” The boy responded, making sure to poke himself just to be sure there was no pain anywhere or no cuts or anything of that sort. So the boy climbed off the bed, which was a lot bigger then he had expected, and walked over to the man. “But I wanna, I wanna say thank ya fer gettin’ an’ takin’ m’ ‘ere, even if I don’ know wha’ happened! Thank ya lo’s Mistah!”

The man’s eyes widened for a little bit, but they relaxed and he bent down to hug the child. “Yer fine,” he cooed while responding to the boys praise with . “Please, call m’ Ishi. ‘Mistah’ sounds much too fancy for me. Although, I believe you’d like t’ be called somethin’ much more nicer then ‘Scourge of the city’ right? What do I go about calling you?” Gohan was a bit taken back by that nickname. Was that what they called him regularly? It was rather disheartening to hear. But the opportunity to give a new name- a proper name for himself, that was certainly brightening to the rather positive day!

“Gohan sir!” Was what he responded to the question with.

“Gohan huh? What a cute name. But hey, it’s rather late. Would ya like t’ spend the night? Or would you rather, go home?” Ishi had said to him. Oh how generous of the man!! Even after he couldn’t really piece together anything of what happened before, this really kind stranger just kept wanting to help him. But, Gohan certainly didn’t want to be anymore rude then he already was! Having to be taken into such a nice mans home, it felt wrong to stay another night since he didn’t know why he was really there in the first place. 

Gohan grabbed the fluff of his sweater, as he did per times of thought and habit, and blurted out to the man. “’M sorry! I don’ feel too righ’ spendin’ too much longah heah though! I don’ wanna be a bother! B-Bu’! Bu’ I can stop by ‘gain if ya’d wan’ me to! I jus’, umm, I jus’ wanna go home if tha’ makes sense! Is, tha’ alrigh’ Ishi-sir?” Ishi had closed his eyes, listening intently (although he seemed to be drooling a bit from something!) and stared down after the stuttering exclamation was made. 

“Ah, well I won’t force ya t’ stay here if ya don’t wanna. I’d wanna go home too if I were ya.” Slowly the man turned and stretched his back, before signalling with his hand to go forward. “Ya know where Central Street is from th’ North-East side of th’ city? I live right on the edge of that, so it’ll take a little bit of walking if ya live far away, but I’m sure you can do it. I think I have a car ‘round here too if ya’d prefer tha-”

“No, no cars please. ‘M good with walkin’.” Gohan blared, face flushing green with embarrassment after he had done something so rude. Why did he do those things?? But Ishi looked really understanding, and he said that ‘it was more then alright’ and to be ‘very careful walking home.’ 

So after a few more apologies, Gohan made his way out of the man’s home, which was just as nice as what he presumed was the mans bedroom (he should have looked better around his surroundings!) and out the door (although he was offered a drink and to stay for a bit longer if he felt uncertain, but he assured Ishi again that he was more then alright to leave and to be extra careful doing so! Which made the man happy.) Looking back a little, Ishi seemed to be on the direct opposite side of where he lived. Gohan didn’t mind it too much though, cause he knew the city pretty well and could definitely manage his way around.

He would definitely have to see the man again.  Ishi was a very nice man after all!

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Ishnail

Debut: Paper Mario the Thousand Year Door

Yeesh. I’m sorry, but UGH. I do not like this at all! We go from my favorite thing in the Mario universe to perhaps my LEAST favorite!

This is a turtle. This is no snail. This is no invertebrate at all. There’s nothing wrong with a turtle-snail hybrid, of course. Both are wonderful, flawless creatures. But this is a turtle! This thing is full of bones.

Snails are my favorite animal. And frankly, this offends me. Ishnail was designed specifically to rip out my heart, stomp on it a bunch, and then replace it with a poop, which has also been stomped on. By someone wearing my shoes, and now my shoes are all gross, and I have to clean them, and it’s a hassle.

Why is it that when people design snail characters, they tend to always throw away the best features of a snail? Snails are more than a swirly shell and a pair of antennae! Put eyes on the end of those stalks! Give them sensory tentacles, not nostrils! Let them ooze along on just one big foot! Snails are something to be celebrated!

[prozd]

Bones of the Forgotten

For those unaware, when I was 12 years old, I used to write very gritty Mario fanfiction.  The only reason this exists is because we hit a charity milestone for Extra Life (which by the way you can still donate to here: https://www.extra-life.org/participant/450294)

I decided to write the sort of fanfiction that 12 year old me would've enjoyed writing, so here is my love letter to my youth.

A question block can come in handy in a variety of ways.  You just gotta know how to scrap it down.  Easily done enough with a precision focus Fire Flower blowtorch.  The first thing you gotta do is realize there's nothing bringing that sonuvabitch down; those fuckers float in the air forever no matter how much you push or pull 'em.  Instead, you gotta carve off pieces from it as it's floating up there. Awkward at first, but by the fiftieth time, it's fucking clockwork.

Melt down the pieces and you've got the golden goo perfect for crafting all sorts of nasty tools.  A bat made from question block has just enough lightness for a easy swing, but just enough density to still effectively break a kneecap.  A blade still won't pierce, say, a Chain Chomp, but it can at least pierce most Koopa shells.  Plus, some people just like the gold color; they think it looks sick.

I personally think the best use of question block goo is making bullets out of it.  They're denser than most others and they maintain their speed for longer. The only downside is they stand out if you leave them in a body at a crime scene, but that's irrelevant as long as you're cleaning up your messes properly.  If anyone had the time and resources to search the bottom of the sea near Rogueport Docks, I imagine you'd find a glittering trove of golden bullets scattered among the bones of the forgotten.

One of those bullets dances idly through my fingers as I listen to one of my subordinates, a Craw with the quite frankly unfortunate name of Garf, lament about his recent mistreatment by the Syndicate.

"Ishnail, they just stomped the shit out of us!  Gus and I, we weren't doin' NOTHIN' and those leafy fucks attacked us.  Everyone knows the Plaza's neutral territory, we gotta DO somethin' about this."

Craws get a bad rap, in my opinion.  They get labeled as savage, but I've always found them to be much more thoughtful than people would assume.  Even in this moment, as my eyes gaze upon Garf's tattered, bloodied vest and bandana, and his curved beak squawks in rage, I notice the slightest trace of tears at the very edges of his eyes.  Aw.

"Let me ask you one question, Garf."  Out of respect, Garf immediately goes silent. Again, thoughtful.  "Were you and Gus carrying your spears?"

"I......I mean.....we have to, it's part of Craw culture...."

"I'm well aware, but Garf, I'm sure YOU'RE well aware that no weapons are allowed in the Plaza.  I mean, at the very least, keep a goddamn gun hidden in your pocket, don't wave a fucking SPEAR around.  You're just asking for the Piantas to give you a beating."

I get up from the dingy sofa I've been lounging on and dust myself off.  "But I can't have Don Pianta thinking it's okay to fuck up my guys.  I'll have to have a word with the ol' mustachioed fuck."  I pat Garf on the cheek and wipe a tear away with my thumb.  He nods in appreciation.

I motion to two of my subordinates, a scrappy looking Goomba named Goomfrey and a laidback Hammer Brother named Hamma.  We step outside HQ and into the bustling, grimy streets of Rogueport's east side.  

As long as I've lived in Rogueport, it's always carried the smell of the sea in the air.  It's a welcome scent to me, having grown up in the Seaside Kingdom.  My mom was a Bubblainian; she raised me when my deadbeat Koopa dad left us, and what she gave me was the snail shell on my back and a love for the water.  Merchants shouting and the occasional "STOP, THIEF!" ring out as my muscle and I make our way through the Plaza.  We pass the gallows where the Shadow Queen's corpse was supposedly hung from one thousand years ago.  Fittingly gruesome lore for a city filled with murderous rat-bastards.

A sickly sweet scent starts to mingle with the smell of the sea and garbage I'm used to. It's an indication that we're entering the west side of Rogueport. Sure, it's a much tidier area than where the Robbos and I live; there may be fancy-ass things like "flowers" and "benches," how hoity-toity.  You can put lipstick on a Li'l Oink, but it still smells like shit.

We walk into Westside Goods.  There's no need for the customary password; Peeka, the Boo shopkeeper, knows why I'm here.  She opens up the back door, and we walk up the stairs in the back alley to Don Pianta's office.

"Ishnail, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Don Pianta stands behind his desk; as much as I hate to admit it, his presence is overwhelming.  "And you brought friends, too?" he notes as he sees Goomfrey and Hamma.

If you want to live long in Rogueport, every time you enter a room, you have to mentally gauge 1. the quickest way to escape, 2. who you may need to disable and/or kill to escape, and 3. how easy that's all going to be.  Two giant yellow Pianta in suits stand guard at both sides of the Don's desk. A blue Pianta in a white suit, the Don's underboss Frankie, closes the door behind us.  

Piantas are not easy to injure, let alone kill; I know this from years of tangling with the Don's gang.  The little palm trees and skirts would make you think otherwise, but Piantas are naturally built like fucking dump trucks and hit just as hard.  Hamma's a Glitz Pit fighter, and I've seen what he can do with that hammer.  Goomfrey gets underestimated for his species, but his reputation precedes him; he has bitten off more fingers than your average Rogueportian.  Still, a fight against four Piantas, even with my question block bullets, would be brutal.  It's telling that you never see a Pianta with a weapon because nothing will kill you faster than simply their own fists.

"Your men attacked mine, Don.  And for what, carrying spears?  You and I both know that's bullshit."

"My men....have been on edge.  Your little Bandit friends have been scuttling around, picking too many pockets they shouldn't be.  Keep that shit on the East Side where it belongs, and we'll be fine."

As Don Pianta talks, he habitually cracks his knuckles.  Out of all the Piantas in the syndicate, Don Pianta is truly a mammoth; his muscles are barely contained by the suit he's wearing.  Honestly, if he wasn't my ultimate arch-nemesis in this town, shit, I'd fuck him.  I like my men beefy.

"Alright, Don.  I'll tell my boys to keep their weapons out of the plaza.  You and I both know no one benefits if we fight in the streets.  Bad business for both your establishments and mine.  Let's keep things quiet."

"Agreed," The Don extends a giant hand.  I shake it firmly.

I turn to leave with my muscle in tow.  As I open the door to leave, I hear a whisper.

"Get your slimy shell outta here, you fuck."

I pause.  I give Goomfrey the look, and he smirks.  Goomfrey's eyes quickly dart and I know he's already memorizing every little detail about the yellow Pianta who whispered the insult.  Without another word, I close the door behind me.

---

There's one more use for question block goo I forgot to mention.  It's perfect for weighing things down.  

I breathe in the salty seaport air; it's particularly sweet tonight.  The golden bullet dances between my fingers; I know it's a bad habit, but it's fun to fidget with.  It'll go to good use though.  I load it into my Fire Flower pistol with a few others and carefully attach the silencer.

"Now, listen, uh...what was his name again?"

"Paulie," says Goomfrey, standing to my side with a grin.

"That's right, Paulie.  I'm a pretty patient person, I think most people including your boss would agree, but I've got a real sore spot about the shell, ya know?  It's just, it reminds me of my dear old ma, and I love her to bits.  You understand, right?"

There is no response from Paulie due to his crushed windpipe courtesy of Hamma's hammer.  Quite frankly, I'm impressed he's still conscious from the pain.  He looks up at me from his crouching position eyes filled with hate, his hands and feet encased in reforged golden question blocks.  Piantas are heavy, so four blocks worth is safest.

"I did promise the dear Don that I'd keep things quiet, so let's cut to the chase." I point the gun at his forehead and before he can react, I fire three shots.  There's no need to prolong this shit; I'm not a sadist. Hamma and Goomfrey pick up the body and toss it off the port into the sea.

"For what it's worth, boss," says Hamma in a low, pleasant baritone.  "I like your shell.  Looks good on ya."

"Aww, thanks."

[suppermariobroth]

During Chapter 4 of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, Mario’s body is stolen by Doopliss, who spends a portion of the chapter in Mayor Dour’s house in Twilight Town, along with Mario’s partners. During this time, the mayor’s normally empty table has food on it. This is difficult to see due to the partners obscuring the table; particularly, Koops is standing in front of a unique roast pig dish that only appears during this scene (the other food can also be found in Ishnail’s house in Rogueport). Below are close-ups of the pig. 

Main Blog | Twitter | Patreon | Store | Small Findings | Source

[papermariosuggestion]

Tony: That scruffy gang of punk thieves is stealin' jobs from us right an' left!

Ishnail: Real thieves like us end up poor as dirt, never catchin' a break 'cause of Don Pianta!

Rogueport News Bulletin: Boy, things sure are heating up in the turf war fandom...

[sonxfdoom]

Ishnail’s favorite fruit is peaches, and his favorite dessert is actually chocolate.

[sonxfdoom]

@ferocitus drew Ishnail for me yesterday!!! And I love it!! The most morally questioning and emotionally conflicting character I have created literally ever h a. Bless this gross fat fuck, and bless Sugg for drawing him. < 3 3

[sonxfdoom]

T H E  R I T U A L  I S  H E R E .

“ Oh great lord above, please heed our whispered calls on this night into he darkest of times. The chimes of the toiling bell and the sight of spilled blood from the spawn of the enemy you have looked for, for so long. The moon shining through the clouds and the darkness which surrounds us on this cloudy night. 

Khaos, I beg of you. 

Please accept our offering, and our holy grace to bring about the Age of Enlightenment ever so faster. ”

Obviously we can’t celebrate Gohan’s rebirth without mentioning his death. What kind of people are you. How rood. 

This is for the amazing 5/8, the day Gohan died to Buu! Isn’t that grand?  Of course it is! What better way to celebrate then death tho, right? Of course not! Death is the best answer. 

Please enjoy this lovely contribution!  I hope you all have a wonderful day! Do make sure to keep what’s below in mind too.

Fate is as fickle as a dream. Sometimes fantasy mixes in with reality to a frighteningly close line. A line that soon gets destroyed. Make a decision, but think about if that decision really matters, or if it is even really happening at all.

Trigger warnings for: Child abuse, Talks of religious faith (made up), Religious mentions (made up), Assault, Death, Gore, Descriptions of Assault and Violence, Tasers, Electrocution, Bludgeoning to death, Head trauma, Fire

The books within the Holy Man’s hands were soon set onto the ground behind his person, beckoning his hand forward- bringing forth two children. “We offer to you a sample of what is to come. Please graciously accept it.” The two children set down handfuls of hair, and a ring finger from the hybrid handcuffed to the pole. The bloodstained hands were grasped by the Holy Man, who then spoke a prayer under his breath, and released the children to go back to the group. 

One child stood alone, having their hands grasped by the others in the group with a luck of pride on their face, while the other returned to his parents who gave him a supportive hug and kisses on his grime stained forehead. Truly an achievement of the highest caliber. The small pile was soon lit with the flames that one of the Holy Man’s assistants held in their grasp, releasing a disgusting stench in the air of burning hair, grease and sugar left in a pot for too long. Most of the people did not mind- most of them lived in filth and the grueling disgust of the streets. Many of said people having to live in the rubble of destroyed buildings, or consuming the people on the streets that had been killed by uncontrollable forces and had yet to be cleaned up yet.  The people were desperate. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

The boy tied to the pole cried and gagged at the stench. There was barely any air left for him to breathe. A constant downpour of blood left his mouth, and his wheezing was only amplified by his broken ribs and his nearly bit off tongue. What had he done? He could make amends- he really could do it! Why did they have to resort to this?

“We sacrifice the child in the name of Khaos and their holy deciples. The boy’s flesh being consumed by the flames, as well as devour the spirit of Dasos and his forest he resides within. The death of a god shall bring forth the urgency needed in these times and the Age of Enlightenment will soon be upon us.”

“Wait. Child?” A lone man had stumbled forward, question leaving his mouth as dulled green eyes looked at the Holy Man’s face. The hat on his head was askew, and he seemed jittery. Nervous. Scared.

The Holy Man held no compassion for the follower however, a scoff escaping his frame as he looked at the man in his way. “What nonsense comes out of your mouth Ishnail? Of course he is a child. What else could he be? Unless he is a retard there is no possible reason as to why he would do nothing but scamper around and bring his father back- a doe away from his disgusting tyrant of a father and brain-dead harlot of a mother.”

Ishnail seemed taken aback, as well as quite a few others in the crowd. “B-But he’s a child? I thought- but he’s-” The overweight man fell to his knees, retching while sweat started to form and drip off his face. “But- I thought- he is- I was.... I was thinking- I was going to- Oh Khaos  was going to-” Vomit poured out from his mouth before he could finish that train of thought, a quarter of the group running away from the scene to scrub away the filth and shame they felt on themselves- they had beaten a child! They were going to kill a child! The Holy Man looked off in disgust. 

“What daft folks. Are you all blind? Does age matter when it comes to terrible acts? What a stupid question to ask.” A fist struck down on the larger man’s head, sending him face-first into his own vomit.

A wave of nausea ran through Ishnail, but he slowly raised his head up to gaze at the religious leader. “You’re really going to kill a kid? A man that’s so determined to save the majority, and cares so much about the younger ones that he has under his care? The supposed ‘branches of the future’?”

“A freak is still a freak nonetheless. What is one life compared to millions?” A foot planted itself on the back of the man’s head, once again setting the soul into his own upchucked meal. “What fool would want a world to suffer for their own individual wants? The same who are selfish and greedy, and spend their time in solitude for their own self gain. What thoughts and actions would you have done if he was not a child? Simply disgusting.”

“Kill him!” “Relinquish his sins to the fires!”

“It seems your hate has been chosen for you, disgusting retch. The life shall leave you and your corpse shall be set ablaze to be enlightened in truth.” The Holy Man spoke no more in favor of slamming the man into the dirt and ceasing to relent when the soul beneath was struggling for air. A person took care to stand on the back of Ishnail’s hands and back, the boy still tied up looking upon in horror as the panicked movements of the man seemed to slow down, and then stop entirely.

“What a shame. The sins of a man only able to be cleansed through holy sacrifice.”

The boy sat in silence, tears streaming down his face while sitting in his own pity, blood, tears and regret. He couldn’t even speak anymore; it hurt too much.All he could do was cry and cry and cry.

“Simply deplorable.” “What a disgusting man.” “I’m glad he’s gone.” “Devious pig.”

A single clap sent a wave of silence over the crowd, and the Holy Man regained everyone’s attention near instantly with the lighting of a second torch. “I believe now we have gotten rid of the liars and cowards. Now is the time for the sins to be lit with the flames of-”

“You wanna shut yourself up right then and there?”  A single miss spoke up, mask over her mouth and pink bandanna to her neck. The jacket on her arms nearly catching on the twigs of the tree she had jumped out of- landing on the now deceased man with a sickening crack of his spine. “You’re not killing the kid.”

“I’m not letting you do it either.” Another miss, this one with pink hair and a jacket that covered nothing below her midriff landed on the ground nearby, looking back at the boy with a smile and a thumbs up. “I’ll get you outta here. Promise.”

"You realize what you have done, correct?”

The shorter of the two, the one that so graciously broke the spine of a dead man, stepped forward and grabbed the Holy Man by his collar. “I don’t give a single shit what I did. I’m leaving with the kid.”

“I don’t believe you will.” A taser was pulled from the pocket of the Holy Man’s robes, and shoved it forcefully into the girl’s stomach. There was a screech in pain, although her hands slowly shifted up to strangle the man in her grasp. “Fuck you.” Edgliette chocked out, eyes shifting into a hard glare at the sleazy bastard in her face.

A follower meanwhile, having come prepared for an upcoming intrusion, had reared a baseball bat behind the other girl, who was trying to figure out what injuries the boy had so she wouldn’t kill him upon release. “You’re gunna be alright. Don’t look so panicked- are you in a lot of pain? You’re gunna be okay.  You’re gunna be oka-”

A single crack echoed into the air, and the bloodstained bodies watched as the girl fell to the ground with a caved in skull to the grass at the boys feet. A cough and gurgles escaping the boy from the sight that he had just had to bare witness to, and Edgliette stopped her onslaught to turn towards the sound.  “You fucking didn’t. You fucking didn’t.”

The Holy Man took the opportunity to stab the taser into the opposing girl’s neck, sending spasms down her spine and sending the girl to the ground without much trouble. “My my, it seems our dear ladies have fallen in the most ungraceful ways. Do not fret. The fires will bring enlightenment to your souls.”

“S-Suck a dick. J-Jus’ fuckin kill m-m-me if yer gunna le’ me suffer.”

“It’s a wonder you can still talk. Are you perhaps, more than you seem? It’s a shame we’ll never find out.” A snap of the fingers and the batter was poised to strike the other girl that dare interrupt such a holy event.

“You knew we were comin’, didn’ ya.” A statement, she had nothing else to say after that.

The man chuckled, signalling the hand to strike her down, and so the batter did graciously. Blood and brains spilled out from her skull, bat bending to the force and releasing a harsh ‘dammit!’ from the batter. 

“Yes. Yes we did. You did excellent Marsh. Very wonderful. Khaos would be proud.”

The batter bowed thankfully, running back into the crowd and with another snap of the fingers one of the many had lit another torch for the Holy Man. “No more interruptions?”

“Certainly no more. Now, son of Doom, what are your last words before your body is given to the gods in the name of sacrifice and prayer?” The boy looked over at the crowd, and then the fire, and then the bell above him. He had run out of tears to cry. He had barely any life left in him to speak.

“‘M sorry.”

“And your sorrow is what shall lead for you to be forgiven when you’re body is burned and your soul is released. Your acceptance is welcomed with open arms in Khaos’s light.”

The torch is tossed to the grass around the child’s legs, lighting it instantly and soon creating a ring of fire around the sacrifice. “Shall I cut the cord?”

“Most certainly.”

A single follower snaked his way around the fire, to the back where a single knot sit tied to the pole. A swing of the cleaver soon relinquished the role and sent the bell from above crashing into the child’s skull and sending a loud chime to ring through the trees.  A scream escaped the hybrid for just a few seconds, soon replaced by gurgling, and the sight of brain matter leaking from the bottom of the metal as the body remained ever so limp and dead.

“On the count of three, light the torches and toss them as far into the wild as you can! Leave no spot untouched!”

The torches were soon lit within the hands of the followers, and then chucked into the endless greenery of the forest that they rested in. Smoke flooded the area, embers of reds and oranges flooding the views of them all as they run back towards the city they reside in.

The bodies did not move, and they could not move in the slightest.  The fires licked at the corpses, and the forest they resided in.

Bright lights lit the night sky, and the townspeople had cheered and gasped in awe at the sight. Perhaps Khaos was coming sooner than they thought!

A single eye escaped into the stars above. The plan had failed.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Winkle

Debut: Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga

Quiz time! I hope you studied! There’s only one question, so this is all or nothing. What is the best animal? The answer is snail! I’m telling you the answer because everyone has their own valid opinion, but now that you know the answer I’m looking for here, everyone can get a 100 on the quiz. Everyone wins!

But I win more than everyone else, sorry. Because I get to talk about Winkle! I really can’t believe these absolutely perfect little angels have existed since 2003, and NOBODY EVER TOLD ME. But that’s okay. Because I got to discover them on my own, when I thought I’d seen every Marioverse gastropod!

Winkles are a friendly species that run the Winkle Colosseum, where Mario and Luigi can play a minigame! Unfortunately, it is not a snail-related minigame. Fortunately, you get to look at a snail the whole time, since one represents the timer!

They also have this statue. It has boobs. Stop giving boobs to animals that should not have them.

The name “winkle” is used in real life to refer to various snails, usually aquatic, such as the periwinkle, seen here! It’s also a ridiculously adorable word. Winkle! Hee hee! It’s also a verb, meaning “to obtain or draw out by effort”. This can be applied to when crabs pull winkles out of their snails to eat them. That’s less cute. But crabs need to eat, too! Don’t be mad at crabs!

In conclusion, the Winkles are, without a doubt, the most valid snails in the entire Mario universe. Mario universe gastropods exist on a scale from Winkle to Ishnail. Sadly, this means that any future Mario snail we talk about will not hold a candle to Winkle, but don’t worry! We still have some zany slugs to look forward to!

Snails are so great, though. I wish the Mario series had more. Hey, what if there was a power-up based on them? That would be cute!

[sonxfdoom]

Only ones with cash do well,

well at least in HELL--!

[sonxfdoom]

*stabs ishnail*

The people around gasp in horror as the man whom was walking home from almost a month in the recovery bay, get stabbed not even 2 feet away from the hospital he just walked out of. The grey featured individual was looked down upon, green lazy eyes staring ever so casually into their glasses.

“Yer gunna have t’ try harder than that buddy. I’m on enough drugs I can’t even feel my legs.”

Redneck UPS then proceeded to just walk away w/ the knife in his stomach cause Redneck UPS gives no fucks about what people think about him. A few of the townsfolk glared at the anonymous stranger, who the hell stabs a guy just out of the hospital? What kinda sick fuck are you?Seriously.

[sonxfdoom]

@ferocitus​ it’s what we wanted h A

A heavy sigh left the man, fingers lightly grazing the glass of the jewelry building that held simplistic chains of different artificially colored metals within it’s concrete walls. Within the small building held two people, a boy- the scourge of the city in fact- peering into a glass box with a woman of fine ebony skin and an average bust (although in this world considered very large for someone barely scraping above the poverty line).  He could barely hold himself back, drool sliding down his cheek while his mind slowly wondered to thoughts of a beautiful maid delivering breakfast to him in his bed, hands slowly slipping under the fabric while hearing small mewls and pants of ‘master please-!’ as his hands slowly slide down to-

Ishnail’s lovely fantasy was ruined however when the sight of a small child in the corner of his vision. Maids weren’t so cute when someone else was watching in on his fun. Lazy eyes turn to the child- the boy, that had ruined his good times. 

“Good afternoon kiddo,” Ishnail began, pointing at the glass to the building and at the woman and child inside. “Ya know who they are, right?”