#...wow I went on a tangent there didn’t I?

[lulu2992]

You’re welcome!! Thank you too for your message and your appreciation! :D

I had never seen the original storyboard for room 1991, so thanks for the link! I too believe the vision isn’t just a memory and represents Vaas killing people for Citra in general, not Jason specifically. When I rewatched the cutscene after reading your ask, it was how I interpreted it as well, and the storyboard supports this theory!

The DLC’s main scriptwriter confirmed in this video that we can’t trust everything we see in Insanity. After explaining Vaas’ “darkness” comes from the fact he “failed” to become Citra’s warrior (which is an interpretation I disagree with, but it helps understand the DLC), she says:

Something that’s great about Vaas is that he’s an unreliable narrator. You never really know if what you’re seeing is actually what happened or if he’s twisting it as he remembers it. You’ll see scenes and you really have to ask yourself what’s real and what isn’t.

To me, the vision in room 1991 is a combination of Vaas’ past actions, present feelings, and fantasized future.

We don’t know how old the siblings are or who’s the oldest, but I imagined they were both around 30 too. That said, maybe they’re indeed almost 40 because it’s not that old, after all! Now, if they were children/teens in 1991, it’s interesting they look like adults in the vision. They made child versions of the characters too, so the fact they used the adult models would support the theory that the scene is mostly symbolical. I wouldn’t be surprised if Vaas had had to start killing people when he was still a child either...

In any case, maybe the year 1991 is important to him because it was indeed the first time he witnessed such a ceremony and/or murdered someone for his sister. If a ceremony was held in 1991, I assume it was either actually performed by Citra (and she’s just older than we thought), or it wasn’t but she’s the person he imagines anyway because, as the current Rakyat leader, she’s now in charge of those ceremonies. She’s also someone he wants to impress and who’s always on his mind.

To me, he murders Jason multiple times because, like Citra, he haunts him. While Vaas killed many people to gain his sister’s approval, he now views Jason as the sole obstacle between them, the only target he must eliminate to fix his “mistake” and finally become the Ultimate Warrior. The murders he committed in the past and the one he fantasizes about are all mixed together in the “Room 1991” vision.

He also “sees” himself kiss Citra and apparently become her warrior at the end because it’s what he desires most... at least in the DLC (not in Far Cry 3; he actually refused “her crazy ritual”). So yes, I agree that, while the vision is probably inspired by real events, it’s still, for the most part, a fantasy!

As for why people once made him 27 years old on the Wiki, I’ve always assumed it was because it’s an “iconic” age to die. They probably thought it would be cool to make him part of the 27 Club...

Thanks again for your message! At least, it was interesting for me :)

Hello! I was wondering something. In Vaas: Insanity there are six visions that occur in the hotel, five of which happen in numbered rooms: 1991, 2003, 2006, 2007, and 2012. So I was thinking, what if those numbers correlate to a specific year? Personally I think that it's kinda confusing, because that would imply that for example, Vaas rebelled against Hoyt in 2012. What are your thoughts? Thanks for reading!

Hello! I don’t think I’d even realized the room numbers could be years, but that makes total sense! I’ve just watched a video of the mission and there are two rooms with the number 2012: the one in which we see the Pirate meeting you’re referring to, and the one in which we see Jason kill Vaas. The second event did happen in 2012 so I agree: the room numbers must be years!

Now, about the Pirates wanting to rebel against Hoyt… While it’s true there were tensions between them and the Privateers in Far Cry 3, what we see in that vision is strange to me for several reasons. Firstly, why is there another “Pirate Leader”? Wasn’t Vaas their only leader, especially in 2012? Has there ever even been another leader? Who is this guy he’s listening to as a pupil listening to a teacher?

Secondly, what he’s upset about is the fact they want to “take the land from the natives”. That’s an inherently infuriating concept, sure, but in the context of the story, why would Vaas be surprised and angry about that? He knows what he signed up for when Hoyt recruited him, he knows his boss hates the Rakyat, and I even believe he started working for him in the first place partly because he felt betrayed and wanted revenge. The way I see it, Vaas becoming Hoyt’s right hand and leading the Pirates is his ultimate “Fuck you” to Citra and, by extension, the Rakyat. He wouldn’t complain about their land being stolen.

Thirdly, in the vision, when he asks where the men are from, they all (except the “Leader” who’s just been shot in the leg) say they were born “here”. The problem is that, in Far Cry 3, the in-game description said the Pirates “came to the island”, implying they’re all foreigners. Also, they have nothing but contempt for the Rakyat and their accent is not the same, so I’m not sure why Insanity implies most of the Pirates are native Rook Islanders. As far as I know, Vaas is the only Rakyat among them.

I also think it’s a bit weird to imagine they have wives, children, and “normal” family lives... but maybe some of them do, who knows?

So, in my opinion, the idea that Vaas himself asked the Pirates to rebel, especially for the reasons cited in the DLC, doesn’t make sense. On the contrary, it was he who maintained the fragile balance of power between his men and Hoyt’s, and it was precisely when he died that the Pirates, without a leader, started attacking the Privateers to try to get control of the island. I think it would have been strange for Vaas to “start a war with Hoyt” in Far Cry 3.

That said, it seems the DLC’s writers believed Vaas felt guilty for not becoming Citra’s “Ultimate Warrior”, leaving the Rakyat, and convincing others to follow him. I don’t really agree with this interpretation (and Insanity isn’t canon to me anyway) because he chose not to complete the ritual, still clearly resents the tribe, and I don’t think other Rakyat became Pirates, but maybe that’s why the devs thought the rebellion against Hoyt was Vaas’ idea.

Also, because Vaas, Pagan, and Joseph are unreliable narrators in Insanity, Control, and Collapse, some of the “visions” they experience, for various reasons, either never happened or show a distorted version of reality, so maybe this scene isn’t a memory but a fantasy, a romanticization of his past and a way for him to “correct” it in his mind. It’s possible Vaas never actually started a war on Hoyt but (at least in the DLC) wishes he had done it.

Again, I doubt this meeting happened or even could have happened in Far Cry 3, but I suppose that’s why the scene exists in Insanity.

[foreverisntenough]

Y/N is so fiercely protective of Trent and I just know that when he comes back from matches where he either didn’t play or someone fouled him etc she’d go off on a tangent and Trent would be like trying to stop her. She’d be like “I can’t believe he didn’t get a foul or a yellow card and like everyone saw it and the ref did nothing the stupid ref and he’s so lucky I wasn’t there and-“ and Trent would be like “babe, breathe”.

Sorry got carried away, I just love your series so much 😭😅

I love this! This made me laugh. I feel like that’s their vibe as well. Y/N being in a panic and Trent being like ‘baby chill out.’

TYSM for sending!

--------- My tiny one shot below for you 🤍

‘Mighty Red’ - 1.2k words

↳ Y/N is fuming after the Liverpool Man City fixture but Trent doesn’t seem too pressed. *If your a city fan- probably don’t read lol

Other ForeverIsntEnough One Shots

---------

“Honestly though it just pisses me off because they get away with everything. That’s a fucking foul every time. Like I don’t understand what are we using VAR for at this point because it doesn’t seem to matter. It’s a card! He had you by the neck of your shirt. I would’ve hit him if I was you. What a fucking prick. I wanted to run down there and kick him in the balls like get the fuck off my man.” You rattled on in Trent’s car as he drove you home after a game at Anfield. The Liverpool City match had ended with a tie as its result and you were less than impressed.

“Wow tell me how you really feel.” Trent laughed a little as he flicked his eyes to the side towards you momentary as he drove on the M62. The lights from the motorway filled the car and splashed across your face. He couldn’t help but think you looked beautiful in your rage.

“I should’ve gone down to the pitch to yell at the ref frankly like he’s so stupid. Why are they all so dumb? It doesn’t bother you? Like this is fucking crazy. They are cheating, T. Blatantly cheating.” You yelped out continuing on with your rant. You were fuming after the matches result. There had been a incorrect (in your opinion) call from the referee that even went to VAR to be reviewed. A City player had dragged Trent down onto the pitch by the collar of his jersey after a trip and you thought it was insane the player got away unscathed, not even a card.

“I don’t know, baby. I mean what am I meant to do? I can do my 90 plus on the pitch but that’s the only difference I can really make. Only chance for impact.” Trent responded in a calm voice but with a smug smirk thinking your passion and fury at the moment was pretty funny and definitely cute.

“Well that’s shitty.” You huffed in response. You pulled your legs up onto your seat to sit in a ball, folding your arms around your knees and pulling them into you.

“Well that’s the way it is beautiful.” Trent told you and tapped at your knee telling you the get your feet, still in trainers off his car seat. He hated when anyone got his car remotely dirty and you were not exempt. No rage was going to be enough to allow that.

“I fucking hate them. Everything about that stupid club. You know what else is ridiculous? The dumb mascot, what even is that? Like what an absolute joke of a club.” Your brow furrowed as you dropped your legs back down but shuffled to turn to look at him driving, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Baby, I don’t even know what it is? Why do you even know?” He started to laugh at how ridiculous of a point you were making. You pulled your bent knee onto the seat to get comfortable again and as much as you tried to hold your expression of anger you couldn’t.

“Stop!” You began to giggle as well. “I don’t know why! Okay? But it’s fucking dumb. You know what’s not dumb? A bird. You know what is also dumb that stupid ref.” Your rationale for why you disagreed with tonight’s outcome was dismantling slowly but surely as you got closer and closer to your house. Your argument was crumbling referring to mascots, saying that Liverpool’s liver bird was far superior.

“Birds not dumb… noted. Refs… dumb. Duly noted.” Trent kept laughing at you, reaching over once more to pat your knee not with instruction but with confirmation to your words.

“T… you have to be fuming you’ve lost the league to them by a point before like this tie is bull shit.” You pleaded for some sort of emotion from him. You leaned forward resting your elbows on the center console holding your face in your hands looking up at him.

“Thank you for bringing up that very pleasant memory but I told you I can only play the game.” He responded and your lip rolled into a frown.

“You’re being too calm and it’s annoying.” You finally decided maybe you needed to give up because he clearly wasn’t going to get on the same page of vexation as you tonight.

“If I got riled up after each game I’d be exhausted and just upset. It’s a waste of my time, energy, and emotions. You know all this.” He cooed turning toward you a bit and a sympathetic smile. He picked up your chin with a free hand. He rubbed his thumb over your jawline gently waiting at the last stop light on the roads before you reached home.

“Boo! I don’t want to know about your mindful ways. You should be mad with me.” You huffed. You just wanted to vent with him and yell about how much you hated the opposition. You’d done it before but tonight, even in the confines of your car, Trent was choosing professionalism.

“Okay, pretty girl.” He cooed kissing your lips with a quick peck before turning back to focus on the winding roads leading into your neighborhood. You arrived eventually after falling more silent as Trent pulled down your drive. He parked and grabbed his bags ahead of coming around to the passager side. “To be clear baby… I know they are the fucking worst.” He whispered pulling you into a hug at the door of the car before heading in.

“I knew it! I knew you fucking hated them too. Like we should be yelling fuck City!” you eagerly and fairly giddily said to him. You stepped forward into him and he shut the car door behind you. “Fuck them!” You yelped out into the night wrapping your arms around his waist resting your chin on his chest tilting your head upwards childishly to look at him.

“Fuck ‘em!” He yelled louder then you with a smile as he swayed back and forth with you in his arms in the driveway.

“Fuck ‘em.” You echoed him in the same volume before you fell into a giggle.” He looked down at you with a love in his eyes and kissed your lips. “City honestly sucks!” You giggled in between kisses.

“I love you. You’re a very very funny, pretty girl. Thank you for coming tonight. You look beautiful as always.” He cooed softly standing in the quiet drive illuminated by the lights of the house.

“Thank you, T. Wanted to look good for my man that City players need to leave the fuck alone.” You whispered with some cheek in response, ghosting your lips over his.

“You succeeded and you know what? Tie tonight on the pitch… still winning going home with you off it.” He cooed a response that managed to make your heart flutter. “And you’re right, birds… not dumb. Mighty red. Love him.” He began to laugh, turning to walk into the house. You gasped before falling into giggles of your own chasing after him. He was giving you shit for know what the city mascot looked like when he knew the damn name of his.

⇨ Read other ForeverIsntEnough here!

[jesswritesthat]

Osamu Miya: Numbers

Fandom: Haikyuu!! — [ Masterlist ]

Summary: ~1.5k, fluff, slight angst

• When your work bestie gets a crush on Osamu, you start to realise that it might be too late for you.

Warnings: None

>>>>——————————>

In honesty setting up a work convention wasn’t where you’d expect to meet a potential partner, but it seemed your favourite confident colleague didn’t share that view.

"Woah..."

"Hm? What are you looking at?" You ceased your distraction task, scanning to match your colleagues’ line of sight.

"Mister tall dark and handsome over there."

"Who? Where?" Admittedly there was a hint of excitement bubbling inside you at the prospect but soon dispersed when Mai pointed him out.

"The guy fixing the stand, god what he could do with those hands. Who is that? He looks strong, I bet he's strong." Ramblings of an instant crush you noted, but since you knew said suspect personally you were obligated to shed some light (since you were also the one who called him here to help out in the first place).

"Oh? That's Miya Osamu, and yeah I guess he's strong. Lifting the bags of rice for his onigiri business helps I suppose."

With that, you went back to what you were doing - at least until Mai had giddily grabbed your arm filled with dire questions.

"Miya Osamu huh, is he single?"

"Um, yeah, he is."

"A business owner and he cooks too. What kind of lover does he like?"

"Ones who eat? I dunno, I'm not sure what Osamus' taste in people is." You were uninterested now, something churning deep within you, but apparently she hadn’t noticed.

"Maybe it'll be me, he's so hot though, I wouldn't know where to start."

"He has a brother!" Why did you say that?! It was the most left field tangent imaginable, a diversion almost.

"What?"

This feeling, a hint of embarrassment and a plummet in your stomach. Too late to stop now.

"Yeah, a twin brother who's more outgoing. He should be around here somewhere for you to meet." Where is Atsumu the one time you freaking need his annoying ass?

"But Osamu is—"

"—is not a famous athlete. No no, Miya Atsumu on the other hand - ooof, gorgeous specimen and... incredibly passionate too." You’d charismatically tried, as if becoming a wingman for him.

"Wow sounds like you've got a thing for him~"

That wasn't your intention, not that you're certain of the direction you were headed in the first place but convincing Mai you fancied Atsumu wasn't it.

"Hey lil' Jackal~ Ya talkin' bout me?" Speak of the devil and he shall appear, an arm slung over your shoulder in usual greeting.

"Sort of - also get off me Atsumu!"

"Ya never normally mind, is it 'cause yer all dressed up and incredibly stunnin'?"

"No I— you what? No—" Flicking between a smirking Mai and complimentary Atsumu you desperately attempted to get them to talk.

"I mean it, yer look really nice. M' sure 'Samu will agree. Have ya seen him yet?”

"Wait I want you to meet—" Too late, she’d began backing toward her desire, waving to you both with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

"I'll leave you two together, I'll catch you in a minute~"

"Mai— dammit."

"Did I miss somethin'? Seems like she's set us up and got an eye on my brother." The blonde overlooked how she’d floated over to Osamu, hand tenderly placed on his bicep to get his attention.

"It's that obvious? Do you think 'Samu will like her too?" You muttered with a hint of discomfort, eyeing the pair alongside the Setter.

"Ah, don't think so. I think his heart lies elsewhere..."

"You're right. Nothing stands in the way of Osamu and food." You confidently affirmed, Atsumu flicking to you baffled.

"Not what I was gettin' at considerin' yer the one he—"

"Especially delicious rice dishes.” You cut the blonde off with your addition, the man boredly rolling his eyes.

“Why do I even bother?”

“Don’t worry, I know your favourite food too Atsumu. It’s fatty tuna.”

“Wanna get some? This is making me sick.” Atsumu jutted his chin toward the scene of Mai flirting with his twin, and you found yourself wanting to rid the image from your mind (and heart) too.

“I second that.”

———

It was the following evening after work that you’d entered Onigiri Miya near closing time, Osamu brightening upon your arrival.

"Your usual?"

"Yeah, to go please."

Osamu paused momentarily due to this unforeseen change in routine, had he missed something? An event you'd mentioned that he'd forgotten about?

"Hey so I feel a little weird talking to you about this, but it's you and—"

"—and you've probably said worse."

"Yeah..." An embarrassed laugh and then you cleared your throat. "Anyway, Mai caught me yesterday, she's one of my colleagues from work."

"I know who she is." Clear and confident, of course he knew and you felt your tone lighten in pitch and speed. Were you nervous?

"Oh good, good. I guess that's because I saw you guys talking alone, and it looked pretty private so you probably found out then."

"Uh huh, where ya goin' with this?" Osamu raised a sceptical brow, slowing on preparing your order.

"She mentioned beforehand that you didn't y'know, make her want to throw up or whatever, so I figured that you two might've made date plans and that just feels kinda weird to me." That was putting it harshly, she’d spoken non-stop about how attractive he was all freaking day.

"Weird how?" Considering he was quite perceptive, you’d hoped he’d get what you were implying without so many questions but knowing him, this was for his own benefit.

"I mean if you did date, since I work with her, I'd hear things - and I don't know... I'd like my personal and work life not to crossover and ruin my perceptions of people."

He stared at you, awaiting whatever request you were trying to ask alongside these awkward descriptions.

"So if there's any way you could not date her, that would be really great."

"Y'got some nerve, 'm a grown man - ya can't tell me who to date."

"I'm not telling you who to date, I'm suggesting who not to date."

"Well ya can't tell me that either!" Was his adamant response, the atmosphere now bordering on defensive compared the one beforehand.

"I know I have no right but—"

"No you don't, and if you don't like what you might hear then don't listen." Osamu shot back as a proposal to your problem, leaving you to truly speak your subdued feelings in the matter - one’s he hadn’t thought you’d felt.

"I just thought that if something was going to affect our friendship, then you might care about it, because if the situation was reversed then I would care Osamu."

With that he diverted his attention solely toward your order with a hum, you on the other hand felt ridiculous. Maybe you were being petty, and just because the thought of constantly hearing how Osamu loves from Mai everyday would be heartbreaking, you could endure it if he was happy. You’d force yourself to, it might even help you get over this stupid romantic liking you’d recently discovered. In that case, you’ll have to brighten this damp mood.

"Okay you’re right. Go ahead then, date her, marry her, and make her Mrs Salmon Sushi Roll, live happily ever after for all I care. I hope you'll be delighted." You crossed your arms and turned away with a small huff escaping you once finishing your embellished claim whilst Miya blinked at you with mild bemusement.

It remained quiet for moment as he digested your words, soon enough breaking the lightened silence himself.

"By the way, I was telling Mai 'bout Volleyball serves. Dead romantic." It was spoken sarcastically, but also in a way to match your prior energy. "Said strong spike serves are harder to properly receive than floaters. Hot stuff I know, and then she asked for my number."

"That's so typical of you!" Came your slightly raised voice, spinning back to him with an accusing tone.

"What?"

"Everyone knows that jump floaters are far more effective at throwing off opponents because of their unpredictability. Everybody knows that 'Samu, everyone except you apparently, now goodbye." Knowing Mai had made her move was clarification enough - hence your volleyball tangent and strive toward the exit with your flourishing farewell.

"Yer food."

You fell still at the door after his victorious reminder, a few seconds passing as you thought about crawling back for the food or just abandoning it for the sake of pride.

"..."

Screw pride, you’re hungry.

But also you might’ve wanted to know one more thing, voice quietly asking for it once you’d reproached the counter and accepted the takeout bag he tauntingly held out for you to collect.

"Did you give her your number?"

"Yeah." Osamu smiled, one of relief and sincerity. "Seemed disappointed with the Onigiri Miya menu though."

You didn’t know if you’d managed to hide the brief feeling of melancholy well but you mirrored his smile all the same.

“Yeah, I would’ve been disappointed too.”

"Why? I make ya 'not want to throw up' too?" Came his mocking retort of your previous statement, leaving you to wittily respond as per usual.

"Shut up! I might gag, but otherwise no because you’re quite pretty. Besides I’ve had your number for years so I don’t need it."

“Knew ya liked me for more than my cooking, speaking of, there’s new menu items so take a look will ya?” Rolling his eyes with a scoff, he slid a menu over the counter which you gladly took and offered your goodbyes for the night.

—

After finishing your meal at home, your fingers lingered on the menu with mild curiosity, eyes skimming over it whilst hovering over the bin.

There were a few new appetiser additions, leading you to flip to the alternate side and almost drop it out of shock.

You traced the additional pen indentations with both your fingertips and eyes like precious scripture - a sentimental smile blooming at his charming stupidity.

Yer pretty too, call me later (Y/n),

(xxx-xxxx-xxxx)

<——————————<<<<

[ Masterlist ]

[cupiidk1lls]

⋆｡° 𝐒𝐊𝟖𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐈 .ᐟ

this is my first blurb EVER so don’t expect some shakespeare type shit 😭

let me know if you wanna see more ! always open for requests, just might take a while to get done . .

i’m probably gonna dedicate most of my blurbs/moodboards/headcannons too my bots. ➪ for example, this one is based off my sk8er boi one!

… this was way longer than it intended to be.

⚠︎︎ teensy weensy content warning : swearing, suggestive word choices, users a bitch.

chris watched as you and your little minions walked down the hall, your little hips swaying after every single movement, causing his eyes to automatically dart there — because christ, you’re not subtle in the way you move, are you? it’s like it’s on purpose, like you know your a tease, that nobody can steal a taste of you.

because he knows that he can’t get a taste of you. him? the loser skater boy of the whole grade? the mere thought of you even talking to him is laughable in his eyes, and he’s sure it would be amusing to everyone else. there’s no chance in hell that you’d give him the time of day, unless he plays his cards right.

but you know his reputation, or lack of. he’s a sore loser, really. a sore, sore loser. keeps a small bubble of people around him, always carrying that damn, worn out skateboard.. the way the aroma of cigarettes all of a sudden fill the room when he walks in, as if it’s an announcement — well, a warning, that he’s there.

but he intrigued you, to say the least. nobody else is like him. this school is full of frat-boner losers who only care about getting in your pants. which, to be completely honest, you can’t really complain. but you’re getting sick of the same lousy hook ups, you want real love. but with your reputation, your supposed to be the slut that just wants to be in a different boys bed every night. the thought of you wanting something real is something people would find amusing and unrealistic.

and you intrigued him. not just because of your body. don’t get him wrong, your body is killer. but your face is beautiful, that heart though? it’s ugly. sometimes he wonders if you’re always a bitch or if it’s a daily facade you put on just so people either like you, or are scared of you. he wants to know the real you. even if that fire in you gets him riled up intensely or not.

he watches you as you boss your minions, clearly you’re not in a good mood for whatever reason. maybe you’re makeup went wrong today? some girly shit like that, but fuck you look incredible. you always do, don’t you? with that little denim skirt as you walk around the school and sway that ass of yours like nobody’s business.

he needed to speak to you, urgently. he planned it all out in his head. yeah, he knows, the last time he spoke to you in class, you said, word for word, ‘if you speak to me again, christopher, i swear to god, i’ll knock your teeth out so you won’t speak to, like, anyone again. period.’ that shit was scary. but he can’t say it didn’t turn him on, because it definitely did. he needed a trip to the bathroom after that lesson. a long trip. he knows that’s, like, absurd. he shouldn’t get off from you talking to him like he’s a useless piece of shit. but, you can insult him any day and he’d allow it. he’d let you stomp on him in them pretty little heels.

so, totally not on purpose, he looks around obliviously and steps in your way, stuffing both his hands into his hoodie pockets as he rolls his gum around his mouth with his tongue. and since you’re not paying attention to your surroundings either, you bump into him and drop your books.

when you gasp, he turns to you and feigns a shocked look, though his smirk destroys his surprised expression. before you can go on a tangent, he speaks up. “ah, shi— sorry, mama. wasn’t watchin’ where i was going.” he speaks, his hand patting your shoulder as you regain your posture, even though he’s totally just using that to grab a feel of your skin — wow, shits soft.

you scoff, crossing your arms as you look up at him. typical christopher, you think to yourself as you roll your eyes somewhat dramatically, shifting your weight onto one foot as you look directly into his eyes, then up and down at him as if finding a sense of approval. his lips curl into a tight lipped smile, suddenly feeling a little awkward, what’s he supposed to say now? “or.. or maybe you, should watch where you going? y’know..” he clears his throat, watching your expression of disapproval, your tongue running over your teeth for a moment.

“this is, like, the second time this week you’ve pulled this shit on me, christopher. seriously? watch where you’re fucking going! this dress ain’t cheap!” you complain as you groan softly and smoothen the creases in the dress, your hands running down your body. chris can swear he can feel his shorts already tightening, as he watches your curves become more pronounced.

he clears his throat, snapping out of it and casually putting his skateboard over his lap, his fingers tapping against it as he looks around the hallway then back at you, “won’t happen again, promise.” it definitely will. he watches as you lean down to grab your books, and he bites his inner cheek. “here— lemme..” he bends down, grabbing your books with his free hand then passing them over to you.

with a scoff, you grab your books and ever so quickly walk away, praying to god that nobody saw that interaction between you and little skater boy. you know everybody would talk about it, shit spreads like wildfire here.

but, with regained confidence, he smirks and walks behind you. “hey!” he calls out, jogging a little in order to catch up to you as you ignore him and walk even faster, “why in such a hurry? y’got somewhere to be?” he mocks, holding his skateboard casually in his left hand as he walks beside you, both your paces slowing down.

“nope. just pretending i don’t know .. you exist.” you say bluntly, your lips curling into a tight lipped smile as you look down at the ground, your arms crossing over your stomach with your books pressed up to your chest, his eyes being brought to the sight of your perky tits in your little tanktop. jesus motherfucking christ.

“yeah? not even a thankyou? wow, that’s..” he shakes his head slowly, feigning a demeanour of disappointment, “that’s low, y/n.” the guy says, a boy-ish grin on his face as he so clearly teases you, his tone sarcastic as he tilts his head, trying to catch your eyes. with a fustrated grunt, you look over at him, “yeah, thanks.” you mutter, half-assed.

he narrows his eyes, the smirk still present on his face as he gently shoves your shoulder with his own. “nuh-uh, gonna need some more enthusiasm than that, princess.” chris comments, giggling under his breath at your oh, so obvious fustration. this is so amusing, on his part. the way you bite your tongue, probably holding back a line of insults. but why? you never hold back with anybody else? why him? “fine!! fine. thankyou, christopher. im sure it was such a hard task, thats my fault.”

you’re lost for words, as you look away, feeling that really unfamiliar feeling of your stomach fluttering, your chest feeling warm. you find yourself liking the interaction, but you can’t. you need to keep your reputation, this facade. you need to stay uninterested, you can’t lose your shit over a skater boy!!..

oh, wait.. nah, because you already have.

jesus fuck

I HOPE YALL ACTUALLY ENJOY THIS CAUSE THIS TOOK ME AGES AND I JUST YAPPED.

lmk if you wanna see more! <33

1𝒔��� 𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 . . .

[yrthr]

☾ PERFECT PLAN ? ; PARK GUNWOOK

gunwook masterlist / zb1 masterlist ; wc 0.76k

➛ genre / trope ; shy cofident ➛ warnings ; cursing , mentions of food

“ PLEASE. “

“ no. “

“ PRETTY PLEASE ? “

“ no. “

yuqi shook your arm back and forth using her whiny baby voice while you gave her a judgemental yet unimpressed look.

she pouted , letting out a small puff of frustration as she laid her head on your shoulder.

“ i’m not that mean , plus i’m waiting for him to make the first move. “

“ yeah by the time he does we’d might as well marry each other and have kids. “

you looked down at her , “ i’m down. “

the bell rung. the end of recess.

yuqi chuckled sitting back up straight and putting both of her hands on your shoulders , giving you her best serious face that she could muster up.

although that just made her look like an angry cat.

“ my dear child , i might separate from you once again to enter the gates of hell which you may know as chemistry. i trust thou will know what to do when the time comes. “

yuqi gave your shoulder a firm hard pat before picking up her things and leaving your classroom with a ‘ cya ‘

“ … what the fuck yuqi. “

after she left it got you thinking… should you carry out this elaborate yet stupid plan.

both you and yuqi were aware that the class president , and seat-mate , gunwook had a massive crush on you.

to be fair , he wasn’t very good at hiding it.

it started from casual talk when you became seat-mates then texting , passing notes and cute doodles during class , copying his homework , him borrowing your items , you borrowing his jacket to sleep on. [ he tried to discourage you from this activity but he couldn’t help but take this chance to admire your features as you slept. ]

overtime you noticed the small little details such as him blushing whenever you accidentally brushed fingers or the frequent glances he’d give you.

this was confirmed when another one of your friends , gyuvin , asked gunwook in which he went on a full tangent on his small [ big ] crush on you.

you easily fell for the class president too , just that you were way better that hiding it.

after weighing the pros and cons you decided to go through with the plan , after-all the worse thing that could happen is embarrassing yourself and having to drop out of school to not show your face in school again.

plan recap : ask who is crush is , he wouldn’t say who it is , you reveal it , confess and he confesses and boom. easy.

you took a deep breath mentally preparing yourself for the incoming events. which just on queue , the wooden doors slid open revealing the man himself.

“ hey ! you didn’t go to the cafeteria today soo i got you a small snack. “

gunwook pulled out a egg and mayo sandwich , offering it to you.

you smiled thanking him placing the sandwich on your desk.

“ also i have to ask you something. “

“ yeah ? “

“ do you have a crush ? “

you saw his eyes slightly widen and the way his shoulders tensed up a bit. a small blush coated his puffy cheeks and he started fiddling with his fingers.

‘ he’s more shy than i’d thought he’d be ‘ you thought , fighting the urge to giggle.

“ yeah , its you. “

gunwook looked at you with a sudden surge of confidence , he maintained eye contact his body now leaned back onto the chair with his arms crossed. [ although the blush still remains on his face ]

that.. did not go according to plan.

“ wait wait do you not feel the same way ? oh shit i’m so sorry ! gyuvin told me to just say it whenever the day comes but like oh my god why did i listen to the guy ?! “

“ no ! i… do feel the same way it’s just , wow , i didn’t expect you to be so straightforward. “

his face instantly relaxed as he let out a few embarrassed yet amused chuckles.

“ so… you like me too ? “ he asked all smily and giggly seemingly unable to revert back to a resting face.

“ was it not obvious ? actually yours was way obvious. “

“ no it wasn’t , i hid it well. “

“ oh please the whole school probably knew “

the playful banter continued and underneath the tables his hands reached for yours , intertwining them in a perfect fit.

“ OH MY GOD LOOK GYUVIN THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS ! THEY’RE— “

“ JESUS SHUT UP YUQI THE HALLWAY ISN’T SOUNDPROOF. “

“ SHUT UP LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT. “

“ ITS THEIR MOMENT ? YOU’RE JUST CREEPILY STARING AT THEM FROM THE WINDOW. “

“ YOU’RE DOING THE SAME ? “

divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

©️ yrthr 2023

[thefinnishcap]

I love how much from what we’ve seen, echoes of wisdom feels like it’s going back to the era of game boy Zelda. I don’t really know how to explain it. There’s a certain… mischievousness that the game boy games have, and this one has it too.

It also reminds me of them because there’s this laissez faire attitude that the game boy games had when it came to the direction of the series, they didn’t give a flying fuck about continuity, or the lore (cause it didn’t really exist at the time, and still doesn’t imo). Echoes feels like it’s really returning to that attitude towards the lore. totk and botw also did, much to the chagrin of Zelda “theorists”.

Echoes seems to yet again be muddying the water on what the triforce is and how it functions. The triforce’s specific function and how it works has literally never been as consistent as people like to pretend it is. But this game seems to be doing something pretty drastic with it. Now there’s a fairy? Are they like an avatar of the triforce, maybe the triforce itself? And the rod that they give Zelda, creates duplicates of things? I mean, technically the triforce could be used to duplicate something (in some games), but that just seems like a very out of “character” thing for it to do. I also think that tears of the kingdom heavily fucked with the way the triforce works despite many people believing it’s not in the game (I believe it is, it’s just different), but that is a whole other thing.

While I’ve been a bit disappointed with some of the decisions when it comes to game design in recent entries. I really love the energy Nintendo has had towards the timeline lately. They tried to make an official timeline and confine themselves to it because fans wouldn’t stop whining about wanting one, and then they realized they hated the way it restricted them. So they released botw as a huge middle finger to the timeline, and totk as an even fucking bigger one. Zelda has always been and will always be a series about mythology. Just like with any real world mythology, there should never be an “official”timeline, you can’t make a clear timeline out of a bunch of disparate stories that have been passed down for generations by word of mouth. I love hypothesizing about a possible order for the games, I think that’s fun, but that’s all it should ever be. Timeline discussion was a lot more fun when people were open to other possibilities for the order.

Wow that sure was a tangent that I’ve went on, thanks for listening to this idiot who’s very autistic about Zelda ramble for a bit.

[queer-irritator]

Padawan! Obi-wan Kenobi x Padawan! Reader Part 2

A/n: This is FINALLY part 2 to this ask from the lovely @projectdreamwalker! Thank you all for being so patient, life has really been wild! This has got a little bit of everything, it kinda goes off on a tangent but... that's how my brain works 🥴 So sorry if some parts are like "wtf is this doing in here??" We got some Anakin, Padme, Ahsoka, Rex and Maul screen time in this one, folks.

CW: So much, everything in ROTS, fluff, sadness, death

Never proofread as always 👍

Word Count: 4,287

The next 10 years were incredibly busy. Anakin was proving to be quite the handful and you had become a Master Jedi Investigator. You spent most of your time undercover in the lower levels of Coruscant keeping an eye on crime and ensuring the temple was free from threats. Unfortunately, being undercover meant having extremely limited contact with other Jedi. You mostly communicated via encrypted voice messages, but you did have the pleasure of going off-world once in a while and were able to see some old friends, including Obi-wan Kenobi. You even had a handful of missions with him over the years. He would never admit it, but he looked forward to working with you the most, despite the antics you and Anakin would get up to. The two of you were quite the pair at getting under Obi-wan’s skin and testing his patience. When the Clone Wars began, you were stationed back at the Jedi temple on Coruscant. 

You received a message informing you of the Battle of Geonosis and the clone trooper army appearing seemingly out of thin air, and orders to return to aid in the ongoing war against the Separatists. That had been about a week ago, you had been traveling across the galaxy in the meantime. It was mid-day when you landed on Coruscant. You stepped off your ship, squinting from the sun with your R4 droid trailing behind you. It had been quite a while since you were last on the upper levels, probably about 6 rotations; but things didn’t seem to have changed much. 

“Welcome, Master (y/n). I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. The Jedi have been incredibly busy, so I will be escorting you to your quarters.” A gold droid, C-3PO, introduced himself and began to lead you inside.

“Thank you. I guess you already know me, this is R4.” You gestured to your droid, following close behind him. “Is Obi-wan here..?” 

“Oh! You know Master Kenobi? He has been in meetings all morning with his clone army commander. He has taken on the position of General in these trying times.” He explained.

“Wow, he always was a high achiever.” You thought aloud. 

C-3PO stopped in front of a door, “Here you are. Master Kenobi has a room down the hall from here as well. Please do let me know if you require anything.”

“I will, thank you.” You said as you entered your room. 

You looked around as you heard the remanence of the droid’s conversation. 

“Come now, R4. I will get you cleaned up.”

You set a small bag you had brought with your down on the bed. You had been sitting all day, really all week, so you weren’t too keen on settling in quite yet. Besides, you couldn’t sit still knowing Obi-wan was so close to you again. After giving yourself a quick look-over in the mirror, you exited your room and headed towards the center of the Jedi temple. 

You stopped multiple times to catch up with old friends and mentors you hadn’t seen since you went undercover. Just as you had said good-bye to someone else, you turned to see Obi-wan standing with his hand resting on his beard and his eyebrows drawn together as he was deep in thought, looking down at a holo-map. You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face as you took him in. Still as handsome as ever, but he seemed wiser now, more focused. That seemed to happen each time you saw him, he was always sharpening his skills. 

Obi wan’s gaze broke from the map and shifted to you. There’s no doubt he could feel someone’s eyes staring him down. When he made eye contact with you his stoic demeanor dropped. His eyebrows raised and his mouth parted slightly in surprise. Then he once again furrowed his eyebrows, as to ensure he wasn’t imagining things. He called your name as he started to walk toward you. 

“Is that really you?” A smile was spreading across his cheeks as he got closer.

“It’s me.” You confirmed, closing the gap between the both of you and enveloping him in the tightest squeeze you could, “I missed you so much.”

He returned your enthusiasm with an equally tight hug. 

“I missed you too, darling.” he whispered in your ear. 

You breathed in his scent as you lingered in his arms, if only you two were alone. It was almost insufferable how badly you wanted to kiss him and just stare at him for hours. 

Obi-wan let out a chuckle, his breath tickling your ear, “Mind your thoughts. We are in a building full of Jedi.”

You blushed and playfully pushed him away, breaking your hug, “Oh, shut up.” 

But you knew he was right. You hadn’t been around other Jedi in a decade so you weren’t used to controlling your thoughts or feelings as much as you should. You looked him over and gently placed your hand on his cheek.

“You look good, Obi.” You smiled and dropped your hand back to your side.

“So do you.” He said as his eyes flicked between your eyes and your mouth. 

“There you are, Master. You’re late for our meeting.” A familiar voice burst the bubble the two of you had been enveloped in.

“I was on my way.” Obi-wan began to defend himself as he spun around. 

“Anakin?” You questioned, seeing the man before you. He certainly wasn’t a padawan any longer. 

Anakin looked past Obi-wan to see you and a smirk crept onto his face, “Oh I see. I’m sorry if I was interrupting anything.” 

“Come here.” You rolled your eyes and gave him a hug, “You been keeping Obi-wan in line?”

He chuckled and hugged you back, “Always.” 

You let go of him, “Good, good.” 

Before you could begin scheming with Anakin about ways to annoy Obi-wan, he placed his hand in the middle of your back, beginning to lead you as he walked, “Why don’t you join us in the meeting? We can catch you up on what you’ve missed.”

You nodded and followed his lead. And there was definitely a lot to catch up on.

Your role in the clone wars was to assist any teams that needed an extra hand, mostly on stealth missions as it was your specialty. After sitting through meeting, after meeting, you finally had some time to be alone with Obi-wan later that night. The moment he had shut the door to his room behind him, you were on his lips. The two of you muttered endless ‘I missed you’s and compliments to each other. You particularly let him know how hot he was with a full beard. That night was passionate, needy, and sloppy. Everything the two of you needed it to be after not seeing each other for so long. 

However, the next day you were diving head first into the chaos of war. There was almost no time to breathe with all the moves the Separatists were making. There were moments to catch up with Obi-wan between battles and meetings, but one of you were always on the move to your next objective. The next time you had any substantial quality time with him was after Satine died. Obi-wan needed your support. He needed a sound voice in his head to keep him sane. Something to quiet all the hatred, anger, and guilt he felt. 

You were sitting on the edge of Obi-wan’s bed with your hand gently rubbing circles on his back, doing whatever you could to soothe him.

“He’s taken everything from me.” Obi-wan had his elbows resting on his knees, his back hunched and his head hanging low. 

“I’m so sorry.” You spoke in a hushed, gentle tone. “He’s not worth taking up space in your mind. The balance of the force will come back around, he will pay for what he’s done.”

“I know it’s wrong… But I want to make him pay myself.” Obi-wan’s hands tightened into a fist against his pants. “I want to kill him.”

You could feel your heart cracking and aching for the man besides you. You’ve always known him to detest violence, only resorting to it when there was absolutely no other choice. 

“These feelings and your anger are natural, Obi. We will get through this, together.” You assured him. 

“I just can’t believe she is truly gone…” His voice trailed off, he was silent for a few moments before you felt his body begin to shake and the sounds of his sobs were filling the room. 

You pulled his body closer to you and gently laid down on the bed with him. You were laying so you were facing each other and you had an arm wrapped around Obi-wan. He had curled up his body to a fetal position and held your hand that wasn’t rubbing his back. The two of you stayed like that all night. Eventually Obi-wan’s breaths had evened out and he had fallen asleep. But you stayed up almost the whole night, watching over him. Thinking of anything you could do to lessen how bad he was hurting. 

You two had also spent the next day together. Taking things easy, watching cheesy movies like when you were padawans, and trying to convince Obi-wan to eat. Despite his tragic loss, in a few days he was getting back to his normal self. 

“You can stop worrying about me, you know.” Obi-wan spoke, his back turned to you while he poured a cup of caf in a small cafe area just outside the main mess hall.

You had been watching him like a hawk from the table you sat at, worried that any reminded or mention of Satine will have him crumble to the floor. But you also knew how strong he was, arguably the wisest Jedi Master and one of the top Generals in the war. 

You sighed, “I can’t help it. You know you’d be doing the same thing if you were in my shoes.” 

Obi-wan walked over to you and placed a mug down in front of you as he sipped his own, “I can’t argue with that.” 

You smiled up at him, though your sadness for him was transparent. You thanked him for the beverage and took a sip. 

There had been a thought stewing in your mind, festering and bringing on so much guilt. As hard as you tried to hide it, Obi-wan knew something was going on. 

“What’s on your mind, darling?” Obi-wan asked as he sat down across from you. 

You looked into his eyes, “I just… I know how much you loved her.” You winced as the words tumbled out of your mouth. This was not the right time to talk about the love triangle that was between you, Obi-wan, and Satine. 

Obi-wan reached out and took your hands in his and gave you a soft smile, “I did love her. But… it wouldn’t have worked for us. Even if she were still here, we led two very different lives and had pledged our lives to different causes.”

You nodded slightly, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be bringing this up right now.” 

“Don’t be. Loss brings up many emotions.” He brought your hand up to his lips and gave it a soft kiss before letting go. 

Just then, Anakin walked into the room. Luckily it was just after Obi-wan had let your hands go. 

“Alright, we gotta get a move on. I so graciously got us all on a mission together.” Anakin announced, hands on his hips and feeling obviously proud of himself. 

You exchanged a glance with Obi-wan before getting up and embarking on your next adventure. 

The war trudged on for about half a rotation longer, then something in the tides seemed to change. Anakin was growing alarmingly closer with the Chancellor each day and the Jedi council was not happy about it. Obi-wan was just assigned to defeat Grievous on Utapatu while you had just received a message from Ahsoka requesting back-up on Mandalore.

Obi-wan and you had gotten into a habit of taking turns sleeping in each other's rooms whenever you had downtime at the Jedi Temple. When you two would be on missions together you would share a room for “safety”. There had been a few times when you two had been sharing Obi-wan’s bed that Anakin would barge in and you would throw the excuse of falling asleep while discussing work in his face. Anakain would usually roll his eyes and mumble a ‘sure’ or ‘yeah, right’ before impatiently waiting outside the room for Obi-wan to collect himself. 

That’s where you were at the moment, stuffing a few items into a bag before rushing off, and Obi-wan was doing the same but not as hastily as you. This was the most anxious you felt for a mission in a long time. You were going to have the chance to help capture Maul. 

You closed your bag and triple-checked off your mental list. You were only torn from your thoughts and anxiety when you felt Obi-wan’s hand on your shoulder. 

“You’re shaking, darling.” he squeezed your joint lightly.

You shifted your attention fully towards him, “This is a big fucking deal… I’m scared.” 

Obi-wan gave you a sympathetic smile, “You and Ahsoka will do what is needed. I have complete faith in you both. There’s no one I would trust more to this task.” 

You reciprocated his smile and leaned your cheek against his hand, “Thank you.” 

You took a few deep breaths to calm your mind and body, letting the words sink in. Having regained some confidence, you moved to stand in front of Obi-wan and placed a kiss on his lips. He happily returned the gesture and moved his hands to your waist. 

You reluctantly pulled away from him after a few moments and rested your palm against his cheek, “Stay safe, Obi-wan. I’ll see you when we get back.” 

“You too. May the force be with you.” He placed a final kiss to your forehead. 

“And with you.” You bowed slightly to him before walking out of the room to hurry onto the last ship of reinforcements that was leaving for Mandalore.

-

You couldn’t believe your eyes as you were dangling from a steel beam. Maul had finally been captured, Ahsoka had got him. You used the last bit of strength to pull yourself up as there was a stun blast sent directly to Maul and he fell unconscious, wrapped in cords by the clone troopers. 

In between pants to catch your breath, you looked to Ahsoka who was standing on the steel beam across from you, “You did it.” 

She turned her head to you, “No. We did.” 

She graciously hopped over to you and helped you into one of the ships that had just flown up. The battle had taken all day and night, you just needed to oversee the transfer of Maul and make contact with the Jedi council. 

While Ahsoka spoke with Master Windu and Master Yoda, you mostly stayed quiet, as it was her mission that led to the successful capture. You had a glimmer of hope that perhaps Ahsoka would come back to the Order after the mission, but that hope was dashed when she referred to herself as a citizen. 

It was midday when you said your goodbyes to the Mandalorians and headed back to the command ship.

It was midday when everything went horribly wrong. 

It hadn’t been long since you jumped into hyperspace when the clone troopers turned on you and Ahsoka. The two of you got separated almost right away and it wasn’t until you nearly took her head off in the medical bay that you got reunited. Ahoska quickly got you up to speed on the theory of the clones’ inhibitor chip and that she had let Maul go to create a distraction. 

“You let him go?? Willingly?” You could see her way of thinking, but it was devastating to hear. 

“I know, I know. But it was the only thing I could do to give us a fighting chance.” She explained as numerous droids began to run tests on the unconscious Rex laying before you. 

When you took a moment to think about the last few minutes, it wasn’t until you heard loads of gunfire and clone troopers yelling commands in the distance for you to be able to kill the clones that had cornered you and then managed to escape to the med bay. You had a close call, a blaster shot grazed your side and you had been tending to your wound when you heard someone approaching the door. 

“Thank you.” You spoke softly, looking to Ahsoka once again, “You did what needed to be done.” 

“Don’t thank me until we get off this ship alive…” She muttered and took over locating the inhibitor chip in Rex. 

Once the chip was successfully taken out of Rex, the three of you devised a quick game plan on how to survive at least one more day. 

It took a lot of close calls, some skill, and a little luck, but you, Rex and Ahsoka were able to make it off the ship and away from the clone troopers. 

The three of you had only caught your breath for about 10 minutes before you piped up, “I need to go back to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant.” 

“What? Are you crazy? We just escaped one war zone and you wanna go to another?” Rex turned to look at you in bewilderment. 

“I agree with Rex. It’s too dangerous, we need to find somewhere to lay low.” Ahsoka supported the clone’s notion. 

“You two can. I can’t… I have to find Obi-wan.” You explained, a bit in your stomach began to grow as you realized there was a good chance he didn’t make it. You and Ahsoka both felt the massive amount of loss and darkness when the clones turned. 

Ahsoka called your name, bringing you out of the dark thoughts, “I want to find him too, but…” She stopped herself, seeing the hurt on your face. She didn’t have to finish her sentence, you both knew the grim reality of the situation. 

You took in a breath and forced the next words out of your mouth as sternly as you could manage, “I have to find him, Ahsoka. I love him.” 

Ahsoka could only look at you with pity and hurt, knowing there was nothing she could say to stop you. 

Rex glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. He may have been bred and programmed for war, but even he knew the kind of love you meant was more than a friend. 

“Please.” Your voice broke, strength and stoicism failing you. You didn’t have the energy to hide your feelings anymore. Ahsoka sighed in defeat, “Okay. We’ll find a system nearby safe enough to stop at. Then you can take the ship. Rex and I will make our own way from there.” 

You nodded and tried to relax in your seat for the rest of the ride. 

-

You were on your way to Coruscant, in hyper-space when an encrypted message came on your comlink. It was a warning for any remaining Jedi to stay clear of the Temple. You knew it had to be Obi-wan’s doing. He’s the only fool brave enough to walk into a trap just to warn others. You hadn’t been able to contact anyone when you were aboard the ship, fighting for your life. You decided to try one more time. 

You put out your encrypted distress call to all Jedi frequencies, and a separate one to Obi-wan, Anakin, and Padme’s personal comlinks. Sitting with the dead silence of space was becoming more unsettling with each passing moment. Just when you had lifted your finger to shut off your distress signal, a distorted crackling came over the radio from Padme’s comlink.

“Hello? Padme? Can you hear me? Are you and Anakin okay? Have you seen Obi-wan??” You hurled rapid fire questions at the static filling your cockpit. You held your breath waiting to hear a reply. 

“Darling? Darling, it’s me.” Obi-wan’s voice came over the static.

You let out a cry of relief and disbelief, “Obi-wan?? Is that really you? You survived?” 

“Yes… I have a lot to explain, but I’m sending you coordinates. Get here as soon as you can, it’s not safe to talk on here for too long. But, I’m glad you’re safe.” He audibly sighed in relief

The coordinates popped up on your computer screen, “I got them. Ahsoka is safe too, we managed to help Rex as well. I… I love you, Obi. See you soon.”

“That’s good to hear… I love you too.” he replied before the connection was severed. 

-

You arrived on Polis Massa just as the twins were born. You ran inside to the medical center, escorted by a droid where you saw Padme’s lifeless body on an operating table and Obi-wan holding a newborn baby boy. Master Yoda began to bring you up to speed on what became of Anakin Skywalker, and the duel on Mustafar. 

As you sat in a sterile white command room on a new ship, listening to Master Yoda, Bail Organa, and Obi-wan discuss the next steps you should take, the world seemed surreal. “Listening” is actually a strong word, it was more like you could hear the hum of talking but you weren’t taking any words in. Everything you had ever known had fallen apart. It wasn’t until a gentle hand placed on your cheek drew you back into reality. 

The room was empty now, with just you and Obi-wan left to yourselves. You turned your head to the man next to you. 

“Anakin…” You mumbled, still in disbelief. 

“I know.” Obi-wan answered you without you needing to say another word. He dropped his hand from your face and stared at the table in front of him. 

“It was all for nothing.” He stated

“What was?” You questioned, brows furrowing in confusion. 

“Everything.” He lifted his head to look into your eyes, his own filled with tears. “Qui-gon and Satine died for nothing. Dedicating my entire life to a code that now ceases to exist. And depriving myself of you.” 

You were speechless, not even a thought could form in your mind. 

“Come with me.” He continued, “To Tatooine, we can be together and watch over Luke.” He took your hands in his, giving them a slight squeeze. 

You nodded, “Of course, all I’ve ever needed was you, Obi. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

A small smile formed on your lips, and Obi-wan matched it. He gently pressed his forehead against yours.

“I’m sorry it took so long, that it took all of this for me to realize what I truly wanted.” He began to apologize, but you started to shake your head slightly.

“It wasn’t just you. And we made it. We’re here now.” You reassured him, and sealed it with a deep kiss you poured all your love into. 

He returned your enthusiasm and pulled you onto his lap to bring your bodies closer together. The two of you stayed in that room, sharing sloppy love filled kisses for what felt like hours. You had to make up for lost time somehow. You made mental notes of how his lips felt against yours, how he tasted, the way his beard and mustache tickled your face. You never wanted to forget this moment. 

You swore you could have stayed on top of him for eternity, but the jolt of the ship switching into its landing sequence interrupted you. Reluctantly climbing out of Obi-wan’s lap, you took a moment to take in his messy hair and swollen lips.

“Only you could make me horny on the worst day of my life, Kenobi.” You chuckled slightly and brushed your fingers through your hair. 

“Well, I could say the same thing about you.” He bantered, following your motions and fixing his own hair. 

The two of you quickly boarded a different ship once the current one had landed on Naboo. The three of you were now in hiding. Everything you grew up with, your morals, values, your way of life now had to be kept secret to ensure your survival. Obi-wan had barely set down the baby, Luke. You could sense how much the child meant to him, he and his sister are all that remains of Anakin and Padme. You sat in the cockpit and took off, setting the course for Tatooine, where Anakin had some family that would take in Luke while you and Obi-wan silently watched over him. 

After arriving on the desert planet and an uncomfortably long ride on an eopie, you could see the lights of moisture vaporators come into view. You unraveled your arms from around Obi-wan’s waist as the creature laid down for him to dismount. He carefully swung his leg over to the side and stepped onto the dusty earth. 

You reached out your hand to gently take the baby’s smaller one, “Goodbye, Luke. Stay out of trouble.” 

You let go of the child and Obi-wan walked over to Owen and Beru who had just emerged from their home. He carefully handled Luke, swaddled in a soft white blanket to Beru. She smiled at him before walking over to her husband, who was watching the suns set. 

When Obi-wan had made his way back to you and the eopie, he silently got on the animal and started to head toward the Jundland Wastes. It would become your new home while you quietly watched over Luke from a distance. 

~Fin~

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Absolutely banger content!! Love it! When Kaz calls Inej "treasure of my heart" he's cheapening an otherwise meaningful phrase. Do you think he is being totally sarcastic or is he deadpanning his feelings to a degree? Because a little later he describes another time he said something cold-blooded to Inej and says to himself "in moments like that he thought she might hate him." Can the second quote be used as context to explain the "treasure of my heart" quote?

Hi, thank you so much!

I definitely think that this is a prime example of using sarcasm as a defence mechanism, so although he comes across completely sarcastic - as confirmed by Inej’s reaction, which is to look pointedly at his cane and wish him a long trip down the stairs before she herself slides down the bannister - I would agree that to some degree he is voicing his genuine feelings. It could be viewed in a somewhat self-destructive nature, because by voicing these feelings in a manner that he knows will elicit a negative response from Inej he can use it as evidence for her not returning his affection and therefore use it as a reason not express his feelings in any real way - claiming that she won’t be interested, when actually he simply has a massively debilitating fear of being vulnerable bred in him by Rollins and the general attitudes/environment of the gangs in the Barrel (and arguably to some degree Jordie as well; by trying to protect his younger brother he doesn’t necessarily convey the full severity of their situation when they first arrive in Ketterdam, inadvertently leading to the belief that such vulnerabilities should never be spoken of or discussed becoming a highly complex and difficult aspect of Kaz’s character)

When Kaz comments “in moments like that, he thought she might hate him” it’s coming off the back of him effectively defending the appropriation of Inej’s culture. She is horrified to see the Suli Jackal masks on sale and being worn by pleasure seekers in Ketterdam, because they should only be worn by Suli seers and are “sacred symbols”. In return, Kaz says that he’s seen the seers “ply their trade on party boats and in pleasure houses” and that “they didn’t seem very holy”, and when she says that “they are pretenders” and “they’re laughing at you behind those masks” he responds coolly that he would never pay to have his fortune told, whether it was from a conman or a holy man. When Inej is visibly upset by this conversation, he comments that he wonders if she hates him, and I think that a large aspect of this is because he is the only person who knows what she went through to its fullest extent. And the specifically relevant aspect of what he knows here, is that Inej was forced to appropriate her culture herself when she was at the Menagerie (slight tangent, but so was Nina, it’s very interesting, I’ve mentioned it in a post before). Inej describes her room at the Menagerie to be a farcical mockery of a Suli caravan, she was forced to “donn false Suli silks”, and it’s even mentioned that the only reason she was ‘the lynx’ is that the Jackal masks were seen as unattractive - “but what man would want to bed a Jackal? So instead, the Suli girl - and the Menagerie always stocked a Suli girl - wore the lynx”. What a quote. What. A. Quote. Starting with the Jackal, it makes it clear that there are no lines that won’t be crossed, and that’s emphasised by other girls at the Menagerie wearing animals sacred to their countries such as the Fjerdan woman being the wolf, and that the only reason Inej didn’t have to wear an outfit similar to the one she’s so horrified by here is that it couldn’t be sexualised and exploited the same way the lynx could. And then we have “and the Menagerie always stocked a Suli girl”. Wow. That gets me every time I read it. There are two main things I want to comment on in this quote, so I’ll start with “stocked”. This singular world is so dehumanising; the idea that the women and girls at the Menagerie are seen as stock, produce, literal consumables that can be bought and traded and sold. There’s also the point that Inej herself is the one using this word, and I think it’s left purposefully ambiguous as to whether this is a satirical usage of the word on her behalf as a criticism of the culture surrounding pleasure houses and cultural appropriation in Kerch (although more specifically Ketterdam), or if it’s the product of indoctrination to this toxic culture - similar to Nina’s horror at releasing that the appropriation and disdain for foreigners she’s been surrounded by has actually led her to judge traditional Ravkan dress as old-fashioned in Crooked Kingdom (I think it’s chapter 13). The second thing about this quote I want to mention is “always”. “Always”. It so subtly introduces so early on in the books the deeply ingrained over-sexualisation of Suli culture, which is evidenced time and time again but most specifically in the ‘Rare Spices’ billboard that Inej describes un Crooked Kingdom. I could talk about that billboard for DAYS so I won’t go into it here because this is already a long post.

But I think it’s incredibly important that Kaz knows all of this when he makes these comments, every time he mocks her gods or her “depressing Suli wisdom”, he knows that he is part of a culture that dehumanises and sexualises and appropriates and reduces everything about who she is, and he knows that it’s hurting her, of course it would hurt her anyway, but especially hurting her because she was forced to do it herself as a cherry on top of the worst year in Inej’s life, a year made of unending pain and terror. But arguably this is once again all that self-destructive nature; the pushing her away, similarly to the sarcasm as a defence mechanism, because it is easier to hate than to love, and because if she hates him then he never has to be vulnerable with her.

Oh wow I just looked at that and realised it’s way longer than I thought, sorry about that… Thank you for reading it, and thank you so much for the question this was really interesting to think about! :)

[doriansbutt]

I had such a ‘this did not happen in real life this is not something normal people would say’ moment at work yesterday.

I wear a pronoun pin at work (which most people like to ignore wooo) and I recently dyed my hair green, for context. I haven’t dyed it in quite a while.

This older woman comes in every week and my god is she a talker. She always has so much to say. Every week it’s just so much cashing her out and sending her on her way. Very friendly, but wow. Yesterday, she said she liked my hair and that got her on a tangent about her granddaughter and then she starts trauma dumping about her granddaughter’s life rn.

“She and her husband are going thru a rough patch and she thought maybe she was into women and that was the problem. But she was so scared to tell me! She called me up like ‘nonna, I have something to tell you…’ and just wouldn’t say it so I said ‘was she nice? Did you know her very well beforehand?’ and she went ‘what do you mean? How did you know?’ And I didn’t know it was such a big deal, it’s not a big deal to me, it’s just a fact. Well, anyway, she and her husband are back together so that wasn’t it. But I think it’s good to try! [insert more intense trauma dumping here]. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I think it’s because you have green hair.”

She had more to say as she’s literally standing with her hand on the door, still not leaving… When she finally left, I felt like I could breathe again and was just… ‘what in the John green shit was that?’

She also called me a ‘we/they’.

[hmshermitcraft]

for this weeks prompt! some impulse x grian (i am sorry i started writing and couldn’t stop)

Grian loved being a graphics teacher. He loved seeing all of his students excited faces and seeing how eager they were to learn when being taught something creative. Even those that didn’t really want to go into graphics enjoyed the freedom Grian gave them and that he allowed students to catch up on work in other classes if they weren’t planning to take graphics in the future.

What Grian didn’t like were other teachers. Sure, most were nice enough but very few enjoyed teaching as much as him. So, he stayed within his department mostly. Scar and Pearl were always just as passionate about their lessons as he was.

But sometimes, neither of them are in (that’s the issue with them both living together.) So, Grian usually has to pray the replacement teachers are able to keep the classes in check, as well as running around between all three classes that day.

He is just setting up in his classroom when a pair of men walks in, both a fair bit taller than him. The first one he locks eyes on is, “Mumbo!”

“Hi Grian! Impulse and I are gonna be taking over Scar and Pearl’s classes today.”

Grian turned to look at the other, larger man and felt his face heat up. “Oh… hiiii Impulse.”

“Sup dude! Yeah, I mean, our classes are all on field trips today with the other science staff plus we both have some kind of graphics knowledge from college so we figured we’d be most helpful. Is that ok?”

“Ofcourse it is.” Grian tried not to melt into a puddle. Sure, he didn’t interact with many non art teachers but the one of the ones he did see a lot out of work was Impulse. He was friends with Pearl (and Grian’s best friend Mumbo) so he was often with them for drinks or shopping days and well… Maybe Grian had developed a little crush on the man. Nothing major, just that he was a nice sight. With a kind voice and an amazing beard and being only a little taller than Grian, he just thought he was quite attractive, especially when he would go on little tangents about engineering and science.

The three of them sat around Grian’s desk as he began explaining what the classes had been up to and the lesson plans for the day. “Hm… you know what, my first class is one for older students and Scar and Pearl don’t share it… Maybe you two could stay here and get used to things and help out some students if you’re able to?”

“That’s an amazing idea, Grian!”

To say Grian went weak under Impulse’s praise would be an understatement. However, he had a class to teach.

Watching Grian teach felt like a privilege to Impulse. Grian, who in his mind was quiet and easily flustered and who maybe didn’t like Impulse all too much, was so confident when he taught. His class were like a well oiled machine and seemed just as hooked on Grian’s every word as Impulse felt.

As the class began to work, Grian immediately began making his way around the classroom, giving some students who were already struggling help and having lively conversations with others. Impulse began observing some of the students’ work, complimenting them all until he heard Grian’s voice. “Impulse, come over here, I need to show you something!”

Like a lapdog, Impulse immediately made his way over to Grian, “Yeah, G?”

“Look at this student’s work. Isn’t it incredible?” Grian began to show Impulse some of this student’s work, including some graphics he’d made for each school department.

“Wow, these are amazing and really inspired. I love the bright colours you use as well. Welldone.” Impulse could see the student’s eyes light up, as well as Grian’s

The day ran smoothly, most of the lessons were well behaved, especially with Grian poking his head in to check. At the end of the day, Impulse came into Grian’s classroom. “Hey, G… uh I was wondering if you still rode your bike?”

“Huh… oh yes I do.” Grian was busy packing away some work to mark, ending up with two full bags and his arms totally full as well. “I was gonna get the bus today though.”

“Why don’t I drive you? I uh I have a van so you can easily put your bike in and it would avoid and student work getting damaged… plus the forecast says it’s gonna rain.”

“Really? Thank you so much.”

Impulse took the sheets of work from Grian’s hands to help him out and the pair walked out to the car park. Impulse put Grian’s bags and papers into a large plastic box just to avoid them receiving any extra damage while the other got his bike from the shed.

“You play the drums?”

“Yeah, some of the engineering and science department people get together and play… it’s just for fun but it’s really fun.”

“Well, I’d love to hear it some time… Uh, sorry, let me just..” Grian hoisted his bike inside and rested it on the floor beside its lock.

The pair got in their seats and Impulse began to drive, some random music playing from the radio. Grian rested his head against the window, watching as the rain began.

“Hey G, um… do you not like me?”

“Huh?” Grian turned to Impulse, looking horrified. “No! Not at all.”

“Oh… it’s just that you always seem uh not very talkative around me and you always avoid me when we hang out in groups… do you not like me hanging out with you?”

“No I- Oh gosh, this is embarrassing…” Grian sighed and stared straight ahead at the road. “I might have a bit of a crush on you.”

“Oh… that’s cool.”

The pair then burst into laughter.

“Cool!? Impulse who responds to someone having a crush on them with cool?”

“I don’t know! I thought you were too cool to like me!”

“Oh my gosh…”

The pair calmed down now, the air in the van a lot more relaxed. As they pulled up outside of Grian’s, Impulse cleared his throat.

“Would you like to go out for drinks soon? Just the two of us…”

“Like a date?” Grian asked hopefully.

“Yeah, uh if you want.”

“I’d love to.”

Grian's students totally don't notice Impulse hanging around the art department more often nowadays. And no, he totally doesn't bring Grian a snack, and Grian totally doesn't find flowers on his desk.

Mumbo, Scar and Pearl also love taking responsibility for getting the couple together, despite contributing absolutely nothing. It's their right!

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Shipping War - Round 2 Side A

Propaganda under the cut.

Propaganda for Deuce x Ace:

Have you read the novels? They’re gay your honor.

The classic captain/first mate combo. They even have matching names! Also if you have read “Ace’s Story” it’s clear how affectionately Deuce views Ace. ☀️

Stranded idiots to friends to lovers

They are very cute together!!!!

Deuce is from Novel A and my godd is he gay for Ace. They met on a small deserted island and at first Deuce didn't like him because he was in his angsty phase. He had just renounced his name, becoming nameless, but Ace wanted something to call him, so he started calling him Masked Deuce (because he wore a mask and so the names matched). Deuce didn’t like it at first and then suspected Ace was taking the few resources there were for himself. So then he picked up a stick, intent on killing Ace when he found him with a fruit, but he was so weak that when Ace turned around he went "cool stick!" and simply yanked it from him, Deuce deflated. And that's when Ace realized he'd been trying to kill him, but he didn't panic. It was a bit awkward but he decided to share the fruit between them. A half for Ace a half for Deuce. Ace took the first bite and then the other did as well. It was horrible, and yet delicious for the simple fact Deuce had been starving. It was of course the Mera Mera no Mi. After that moment, they became much closer and Deuce's perception of the other completely changed. He became infinitely loyal to him. He kept the name. They worked together and when finally being able to leave the island, he remarks it suck they couldn't even find any treasure, and Ace turns around, looks directly at him, and says "I wouldn't be too sure about that" with a smile. They deserve to be in this competition. They're just...

Novel A is the propaganda, they're so gay for each other. Deuce talks about how lucky he is to be dedicating his life to Ace and Ace calls Deuce the treasure he found on Sixis.

I decided to read the Ace book and I thought everything was exaggerating about Deuce and Ace being gay. And wow was I wrong they were not. When Deuce says Ace didn’t find a treasure on the island Ace was like “yeah I did ur coming with me right” then Deuce goes off on a whole internal tangent about how he will stay by Ace’s side. They also almost have a Ferris wheel date because Ace sees Deuce looking at the Sabaody Ferris wheel and when he finds out he’s never been on one they go on but this off duty marine girl ruins their date :(

It's that first mate devotion. It's the matching names. It's all the poetic waxing Deuce does when writing about Ace.

They are amazing and so underrated.

Propaganda for Usopp x Kaya:

When we first meet them and see them interact they just act so sweet. There's also a chapter in one of the novels where a guy interested in Kaya asks the old Usopp pirates "what kind of guy does she like?" And all 3 reply "Captain Usopp." Which I think is very cute!

He wanted her to laugh! Help her when she lost her parents because he knew exactly what it felt like! He helped her get better! And she was so heartbroken when it seemed like he was lying to her about Klahadore! Then she was more heartbroken when it turned out he'd told her the truth!

They will also be endgame trust me.

The ship that I would put money on becoming canon at the end of the series. It's very romantic how Usopp would come to see her every day, and how they are both still thinking of each other after so much time apart.

[parageist]

RAIN WORLD RIVULET, SPEARMASTER, AND GENERAL RW SPOILERS

just finished rivulet last night, wow was that good. surprisingly, i didn’t cry when moon called me ruffles, but i did cry when sparkling pendulum started playing when inside pebbles. something about hearing the main rain world sundown theme but as if it’s being played on a dying violin while crawling through the decaying body of an regretful god made me just. mmmm. despite all he’s done, seeing pebbles like this makes me want to hug him (and don’t get me started on the “Goodbye wet mouse, send my regards”)

that combined with my friend telling me that spearmaster was the one who delivered the pearl with information on the ascension process that led to pebbles condition in the first place is so tragic knowing that SRS (in my headcanon) was dating or very close with 5P, and saw how depressed and angry he was, so they thought they could help him by giving him a way out of this, only for it to turn out horribly for everyone.

and then in spearmaster, SRS sends you out again to deliver another message. an apology, a welfare check, an offering of help, a reminder that he isn’t alone in this world and that people care about him. but 5P’s refusal to accept any help leads to him attempting to fix it all himself, which ends up nearly killing his sister in the process, and giving him a terrible terminal illness. i thought since spearmaster takes place in the past, i could somehow prevent moon’s collapse and help pebbles but in the end, im nothing but a feeble creature in a vast world full of passing gods. all i can do is deliver the message to pebbles, and hope he can one day learn to accept help and forgive himself as i go back home to my creator and collapse into their arms in defeat.

then in the future, seeing how worse his condition has gotten, seeing this seemingly immortal, indestructible, godlike machine decaying to such an extent that he has no other choice but to unplug himself from life support, giving his last remaining energy to help her sister escape from the situation he put her in; a final charity in the face of death. he remains in his chamber, listening to a calming song on repeat, as he slowly succumbs to his own mistakes.

and then, there’s moon. after everything that happened to her, she still forgives pebbles. she’s been reduced to a barely alive dementia-stricken puppet, unable to move from the place where she drowns every day, and one of the only things she worries about is the safety of her brother. even when you plug her back in and she remembers everything, her first instinct is to check on 5P. and the final lines are just. Yeah

sorry i went on a bunch of side tangents there, im just real passionate about this game. anything that makes me cry makes me go insane about it. and now rain world has joined the small list of video games that made me cry! (for anyone who’s curious, that list composes of minecraft, undertale, slime rancher, oneshot, disco elysium, omori, and now rain world)

[underwaterspaghetti314]

Celeste is a wonderful, absolutely fucked up little game. I started playing it in idk February? March? Something like that. This game has taken over my life. I have other games I’ve been meaning to finish, but then my brain says “or you could just play more Celeste” and then I do. I’ve beaten almost everything. A, B, and C sides for every level. I finally beat Farewell the other day. I got all the strawberries, including the Moon Berry. I even managed to get 9 Golden Berries so far. Most of those I got while taking a break from playing Farewell. Ok actually side tangent.

At first I had no intention of taking on the Golden Berries. Then I played Farewell, got as far as Comb Room, and after bashing my head against that wall for a long-ass time, I just rage quit and decided to take those on instead. For two months. I was always thinking “Oh maybe I should go back and finish Farewell. Oh well I’ll do that later.” And then I didn’t. For two months. Two months with consistent play. I managed to procrastinate playing a video game. And not like how I do with the others where I play a different game. I procrastinated on a game by playing the same fucking game. What the hell? And then! Just days ago, I went back to Farewell, and it turns out I got way better at the game. I beat comb room in just a couple hours, and it suddenly made so much more sense to me somehow. And then I beat the level not long after. It went from Balls-Crushingly Hard to just Balls-Squeezing-A-Little-Bit-Too-Hard-ingly Hard.

I lied this side tangent is the main point now. Also this paragraph break doesn’t feel in any way correct, but ya know what? I’m typing this at 2 o’clock in the morning and it’s my post, so it can be as incoherent as I want dammit! I told myself that once I beat Farewell, that would be where I could let the game rest. I could still play it here or there (there were still Golden Berries to collect after all!), but I wouldn’t feel obligated to play this game anymore. Then, I looked at my achievements on Steam and saw that I only had 1 missing: “Wow!” So I immediately jumped on that one. Got the Moon Berry after a little while, and now I’m allowing myself to stop caring about this game. But I’m still playing. Taking on Summit-C Golden Berry. Considering trying 1-A dashless. Both these things were things that before Farewell I said I’d never end up doing because I couldn’t pull that off in a million years. But I’m coming close to Summit-C, and 1-A dashless doesn’t look so bad, at least once I learn how to spike jump consistently.

The horrifying part of this game is that I can look at a task, say “that looks tedious and extraordinarily difficult I won’t do that in a million years” and then I play the game more and not only does it seem way less difficult, but I’ve come to realize that given the lifespan, I might still be playing Celeste a million years from now.

[krowfics]

But you’re still a kid that grew

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Plot: Passion was small and Passion was orange. So he couldn't be. (or why there's two blue sides)

Words: 3257

Notes: Logan angst, canon universe, all the other sides are technically unsympathetic ig - especially Patton and Remus, sad and unresolved ending. this fic’s ending overlaps with WTIT.

This might be considered a character study? idk i wrote this in a hyper fixated haze

AO3

~~~

He was small and he was orange.

Dressed head to toe, orange tee shirt, orange cargo shorts, orange socks and orange shoes. 

He was learning about cheetahs. They're the fastest animal in the world, they can reach speeds up to 70 miles per hour! He didn't know what that meant but it sounded fast. 

He stared at the TV screen with rapt attention, meanwhile Thomas played with a stuffed fox from Fox and the Hound and a plastic toy of Peter Pan (from Peter Pan.) glancing up at the screen occasionally. Thomas’ mom had decided to put on an educational show instead of Disney Channel, which Thomas hadn’t minded but he had been ecstatic about.

He really, really wanted to know how fast 70 miles per hour is.

So Thomas twisted around to look at his mom, who was reading a book on the couch with her feet tucked underneath her, and he asked.

"Hmm, as fast as a car." She answered.

That's super fast for an animal, he knew Thomas couldn't run that fast, he didn't even think a dog could run that fast.

"Wow, that's super fast." Thomas said.

"Sure is, Bud." His mom replied with a smile.

He learned more, needed to learn more. He had Thomas switch the channel to documentaries in between his Disney shows, had him ask his mom and dad every question under the sun, squinted at books over Thomas' shoulders as they were both figuring out how to read, even though neither really could yet.

Some adults had reading glasses to make them read better, maybe that would make him read better.

It helped, he thinks, he didn't think anything was wrong with his vision before but now he never wanted to take his glasses off.

He was bigger, he was orange, and he wanted to know everything.

Passion. 

Thomas' mom had called Thomas passionate once, maybe he was Passion.

They went to school, and kindergarten was boring. All they did was color! The first grade was better, but there was still far too much coloring of cartoon characters for Passion’s taste. 

Creativity liked it. So Passion tried not to complain. He didn't really talk to the Others much anyway. 

He liked talking to Creativity, both of them, but they each fell off into their own tangents that got so far from where Passion hand started, that he kind of wished he didn’t talk at all.

He had nothing to do with Morality or Fears or even Creativity, really, the good or the bad, he just wanted to learn and he wanted Thomas to learn.

Lies was annoying because he just wanted to get out of work, and Thomas would listen to him sometimes, which wasn't fair. But sometimes Morality would get in Lies’ way and they'd yell a bunch until Thomas gave into Morality, which was better but it was still annoying. When they yelled he wanted to scream.

It was all frustrating. The Creativities’ imagination was nice until it became completely fake, Lies made Thomas say things that were completely fake, Fears would make up stuff to make Thomas upset which was usually completely fake and Morality would repeat the adults dumb rules which seemed to be completely fake!

It was frustrating, fakeness was frustrating, Passion only cared about real things. Weird plants and animals and bugs and rock formations and spaceships and dinosaurs.

He did not care about Disney princes and dragons and talking animals.

Morality told him he needed to share Thomas. But it wasn't fair, none of it was fair, how could it be fair when what everyone else wanted was completely fake?

He hated the fakeness, it was confusing, it was so hard to tell when Thomas was being lied to. He used to think he could fly because he saw it on TV - not the channels that Passion wanted to watch - and he jumped off his bed and bruised his knee super badly. 

Thomas cried for his knee and Passion cried because it wasn't real. It wasn't! They lied to him!

Passion cried more often than not, he yelled more often then he spoke. Thomas wouldn't listen to him, Thomas used to listen to him, didn't he?

Thomas didn't switch the channel to documentaries anymore and he didn't pay attention to his teacher, even when he really tried, he'd always be more focused on sitting still which made it almost impossible for Passion to pay attention, Thomas usually gave up, which made it even harder.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair!

He barely talked to the Others before but now he almost never did. Because now he couldn't stop himself from screaming or crying or getting really angry and breaking something in the imagination which would always make everyone upset with him but they'd never listen anyway!

He hated this. He felt so pathetic. He didn't want to cry all the time, he just wanted to learn. He wanted Thomas to learn.

Thomas got a new teacher when he started second grade, and he was nice.

Mr. Teagan was calm, always. He wore glasses and a tie, which must mean he's smart. He sounded smart, he didn't get mad at Thomas for moving in his seat or fidgeting with his hands, he even encouraged him to fiddle with a squishy rubber toy when Thomas' tapping got too loud for the rest of the class.

He never got frustrated when Thomas asked questions, he'd teach him how to understand the more complex math equations the rest of the class was learning. Passion really liked math and Thomas really liked math.

Thomas wasn't really listening to Passion but he was listening to his teacher. Maybe if Passion was calmer, they would listen to him.

They didn't. They ignored him as always, Bad Creativity called him a crybaby and that set Morality off, which Passion would have appreciated had Morality not also been ignoring him.

"Why'd you even bother to show up?" Good Creativity said as Morality calmed down and Bad Creativity continued to giggle.

"Be nice." Morality said plaintively.

"No, no, I mean, you never come here or talk to us, what do you want?" he didn't sound upset, just confused, but it didn't make the hurt go away because Passion was doing what he wanted already and they weren't listening.

"To talk about imaginary numbers." He said carefully, because imaginary numbers were so cool, even though he didn't really understand anything about them at all, but they sounded cool. They were fake but couldn't be frustrating-fake, because they were still math and math made them real!

"Ugh, Thomas will learn math in school." Good creativity whined.

Passion glanced to Morality, who only nodded, "Thomas is gonna watch Beauty and the Beast, he can't do math right now."

He's watching that again? Could it not be Lion King or Jungle Book, one that made him actually want to learn about animals?

"That's not fair." Passion said.

"He does plenty of math in school." Good Creativity said.

"But I want him to do it now!"

"We can't always get what we want." Morality said.

"Life is fair, you know." Lies said sarcastically from his place on the couch, he was hardly paying attention to the situation.

Morality liked Mr. Teagan, and Passion was being calm like Mr. Teagan, why wasn't it working? What was he doing wrong?

Fears nodded, looking deeply uncomfortable with the tenseness in the room, "You don't have to get upset over math."

"It's not fair." He yelled, and his voice cracked and his vision was blurry even though he was wearing his glasses.

Bad Creativity made a sharp laughing noise, “Crybaby!" he said, pointing, and he was completely right.

"You aren't being very nice." Morality said, and when Passion looked he saw that Morality was not looking at Bad Creativity, he was looking right at Passion.

He knew what that meant, Morality also said that Lies and Bad Creativity weren't very nice and then those 'weren't very nice's turned into 'not nice at all's. And Morality made sure that Thomas almost never listened to Sides who were not nice at all.

What if Thomas never listened to him again?

Passion choked on a sob. He needed to apologize, he needed to, but he couldn't get a word out with Morality staring him down like Thomas' mom or dad did when he got in trouble, Good Creativity stood right behind him, looking smug.

Passion turned around and ran out the room, a nasally laugh came from behind him, Bad Creativity, he assumed.

He hid his room and he cried. It felt like hours, or minutes, or days. He cried until his eyes were sore and his throat was scratchy and his nose was stuffed.

Something was wrong with him.

There had to be a reason no one listened to him, there had to be a reason no one liked him.

He stayed away after that, he couldn't risk it. He needed to stay calm like Mr. Teagan but he couldn't when no one was listening anyway. He’d get too frustrated, too overwhelmed. A bitter part of him thought it’d be better to not feel at all, if the bad emotions were so unavoidable and were making him ruin everything. 

They wouldn't listen to him, no matter what he did, would they? They've already decided he was too passionate to deal with.

He helped Thomas with homework when he needed, Morality made Thomas do his homework because it was Wrong not to, but he didn't really stick around for the process. So when Thomas would get stuck, Passion would show up to help. 

He didn't make Thomas learn outside of school though, he stopped begging for him to change the channel to a documentary when Morality wanted to watch a cartoon, he bit his tongue every single time he played pretend with Good Creativity.

Passion was able to learn still, he didn’t think any of the others could completely stop him if they tried. It was much harder, but he could consume information that Thomas learned subconsciously. It wasn't nearly as good as Thomas learning outright, but it was better than nothing and Passion would take all he could get.

Thomas' third grade teacher was not nearly as patient as Mr. Teagan, which means that Thomas didn't like her which means he had a much harder time paying attention. 

Morality stayed with him a lot, making him pay attention as it was Wrong not to pay attention to adults. He made him do his homework and sat there through his frustration so he'd actually finish as it was wrong not to hand it in finished the next day, he made Thomas do everything he was told, even as Lies hissed and spat in the Mindscape to get his way, Morality didn't even care that he was making Thomas miserable. Maybe he didn’t notice.

He wouldn't listen to what Passion had to say about it though.

Passion was a crybaby, Passion was too emotional, Passion wasn't very nice.

Passion was small and Passion was orange.

So he couldn't be.

They had learned basic color theory long ago. Good Creativity loved it because it made everything pretty and hated it because it was rules and neither creativity ever wanted to put rules on art, other than the obvious Morality given ones. The ones that said it wasn't nice at all to draw Thomas killing his brother, something Good Creativity agreed with and bad creativity did not.

Color theory said that blue was the opposite of orange.

Maybe that's why Morality didn't like him. Morality was blue.

Blue comes in different shades.

One day, as Thomas was doing his homework, he felt a familiar pull. A feeling he would often ignore because Morality seemed to always be there. 

Be calm

He appeared, almost void of color, shirt as black as his glasses, plain blue jeans, black shoes. 

A tie, just like Thomas' second grade teacher always wore, except dark blue.

He was not small and he was not orange.

"Hello?" Thomas said, just behind him was Morality, who was staring.

Both looked stressed, hair messed up from running their hands through it and Thomas's eyes were rimmed red, almost crying from frustration.

Stay calm.

"What seems to be the problem Thomas?"

"Who..?" Thomas asked tiredly, glancing to Morality.

"I'm not sure, kiddo. Are you new?"

The only thing differentiating the sides visually were their clothes and their colors.

Without orange, Morality didn't recognize him.

Good.

"I am Thomas' Logic."

"Oh, goodness!" Morality smiled brightly, when was the last time he smiled at him like that? "It's been so long since we've gotten a new side! I’m Morality, It's nice to meet you."

Stay calm.

"You as well, now what is the issue?"

Thomas gestured to the paper on his desk and Logic learned over his shoulder to see the equation. He thought Thomas liked math?

It was division, a bit on the complicated side but not terribly so. 

"Thomas, do you understand that division is just the opposite of multiplication?"

"Mrs. Drache keeps saying so, but…"

So he didn't understand.

"All that means is you can reverse this." He summoned up a pen and paper and wrote the equation down where Thomas could see.

And the he wrote the same numbers directly under it but swapped the division sign for an equal sign and the original equals sign for multiplication.

"Are you more confident in your times tables, Thomas?" he asked.

Thomas nodded, paused, and then nodded again. He looked tired. "Yeah um, I did them quicker than most of the class last week. I only got 3 wrong."

"Good." Logic said, "what times 7 is 49?"

Thomas stared for a moment, "5 times 7 is 35."

"Yes."

"and 6 times 7 is 42."

"it is."

Thomas pressed his lips together and then wrote 7 down on his homework.

Thomas listened to him. He actually listened to him and he learned.

Stay calm.

"Good job, Thomas."

Thomas beamed and everything was worth it.

Morality made a high pitch noise, startling Logic, he forgot he was there.

But there Morality was, clapping and smiling, smiling at Thomas and Logic.

"I knew you could do it, kiddo!" 

Thomas smiled and returned to his homework, both sides there for help and encouragement.

Morality stopped showing up so much for homework, he let Logic help him pay attention in class, he started letting Thomas get away with things that made him happy. At some point academics were completely left up to Logic.

Morality trusted Logic. Morality liked Logic.

Stay calm.

Logic said nothing as Thomas changed career paths, Morality wanted him to be happy and Creativity wanted him to perform. Logic could handle his amount of attention diminishing, Thomas’ happiness was more important. 

Stay calm.

He helped Thomas through each moral conundrum and anxiety attack, even if he had to wade through the others' arguments to do so. It’d be easier if they didn’t have to work through their emotions before they actually listened to him but, regardless, they always did eventually.

Stay calm.

He had made himself heard, he didn't need emotions anymore, he never needed them in the first place. He needed Thomas to be healthy and happy, even if that meant Logic didn't always get his way. He was fine.

Stay calm.

Deceit and Dark Creativity's increased presence was annoying but manageable. Thomas hadn't remembered either, which made sense. 

Deceit had kept himself hidden from Thomas before his scales started appearing - a younger Thomas taking the lying snake in the garden of Eden a bit too seriously, Logic suspects - and Logic was fairly certain that Thomas had never even met Remus as a child.

Thomas was barely interested in what Logic had to say as is, splitting his attention between three other sides who just boiled down to differing emotions. Janus and Remus complicated things, they kept getting in the way.

All sides deserved to be listened to, a part of Logic is sure of it, but with all of them demanded it only for themselves, he had to fight to.

Morality at least didn't like them fighting, Creativity would always listen to Morality and thus stayed in good graces, and Anxiety held enough sympathy from Patton that he was always able to be listened to too.

No one really liked Logic, he could tell. They might claim they like Logan, they probably don't even think they're lying about it. But they wouldn't like him if he couldn't stay calm.

Stay calm.

He was trying to stay calm.

He was finally being listened to, even if it seemed to be less and less each day, he was letting Thomas take breaks, he was letting Thomas stay happy even as the anxiety of cleaning was getting to him.

Why did Remus have to taunt him today of all days? The day when Thomas actually had some urge to make a list of tasks, to finally clean his living space so he could be more productive. 

Stay calm.

Thomas was busy dancing, quite literally dancing always the intrusive thoughts.

Logic was calm, he would stay calm.

He breathed a calculated breath and turned to Remus, who was giggling in that obnoxious way he does. Even after all these years, even as they got older, that laugh never really did change.

Logic was speaking calmly, he was being nice, he was barely showing any frustration even as Remus made it clear he was not listening.

Thomas listened to him though, he had listened today, and the only times he stopped today was when Remus got in the way.

Stay. Calm.

He needed to get through to Remus. He needed to. He needed to be listened to, he needed Thomas to listen. He barely listened as is, he can't let it get as bad as it was back then, back when no one listened no matter what. 

"Remus."

he wasn't listening. Thomas wouldn't listen because Remus wouldn't listen. Logic needed him to listen.

Remus summoned a book literally titled, 'Ignoring Dummies for Dummies' 

"Remus."

The haunting taunt of 'crybaby' rang in his ears. It was extremely frustrating, he couldn't get frustrated - he had to stay calm.

Logic could barely breathe.

Remus wouldn't listen.

Stay calm

Stay calm

STAY CALM

"Stop ignoring me!"

That wasn't very calm.

Remus was talking, smug as Logan had ever seen him and not even remotely surprised, but the words barely registered. 

And then Remus was gone, and Thomas was on the phone with Nico.

Was that on purpose? Did… Did Remus know?

Stay calm.

He was not orange.

He wasn't.

Everything worked out, except it didn't because Thomas had abandoned his schedule and his apartment didn't get cleaned, but that was okay. It had to be okay. 

Thomas barely seemed to listened to Logic anymore anyway, he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. Thomas listened when it was absolutely necessary and that was enough. It had to be. Logic had to stay calm. He had to hold together each piece of him that shattered and broke off when he was ignored, he couldn't afford to be pushed to emotions by Remus, or anyone, especially not when Thomas is there.

Stay calm.

He was not a crybaby.

Stay calm.

He was not Passion.

Stay calm.

He was not orange.

He wished there was nothing of Passion left, nothing left to feel anything, but as he curled up in his room to hide, he felt small.

~~~

tags~ @flowercrownsandtrauma

[constellieos]

⋆ ╱ lucky girl syndrome .

location: the herald, recruitment office. 12:15. tw: mention of death ( in a joking manner )

14. blue and black. one red. one pencil. two rainbow gel pens.

14 writing utensils was the amount mimi had been able to count in the recruitment employee’s office as she waited for what seemed like an eternity. the time on the clock which had been a minute fast was 12:15. realistically, it was 12:16. they were a minute late. mimi had arrived at the office at 08:18 — just to be sure she wouldn’t be late. and then, she waited in the lobby, gulping down ounces of coffee to try to appease her nerves.

she had completely forgotten that coffee seems to have the opposite effect on her.

‘when is this guy coming? i’m going to start cloning if he doesn’t—’

“hello! my bad, you won’t believe how many times i had to fight our fax machine!” mimi turned her head towards the sudden sound, forcing a small, amused smile as she quickly got up to bow and shake his hand. “oh, i have ink all over my hands.” he mentioned as he rejected her hand, waving his own in a bit of an erratic fashion. “but, anyway! sit, sit, sit! let’s get down to business. i don’t want to waste any of your time, miss … go minji?”

mimi winced at the usage of her full name, but tried to play it off with a reassuring chuckle.

“mimi is fine. minji sounds so formal .. haha.”

she stared at the recruiter as he nodded, somewhat scattered in his approach. he quickly sorted through his assortment of different papers — most likely mimi’s extensive ( and rather impressive ) record of achievements and experience.

“wow… harvard graduate? the international school? very impressive.” he said with a smile, allowing mimi to not only feel a little proud of herself, but also relax.

‘it seems to be going well.’

“so! tell me, why do you want to work here? tell me about yourself.”

mimi hated these types of questions. nothing was more intimidating than talking about herself. she didn’t even know a lot about herself! and her reason for wanting to work there?

… everyone else had denied her for ‘too little experience’.

“ha … why i want to work here … such a great question!” mimi started, offering a smile to the recruiter who mimicked her smile, nodding at her with encouragement. “such … haha, that’s a really good question. you know, uhm- mr. kim, right? the herald just upholds my values as a reporter.”

mimi had forgotten every fact she had learned about the herald the night before. however, a smile never failed to convey a message, right?

the recruiter looked at her, a cautious smile still on his face as he urged her for more.

“and … what are your values? the ones that the herald upholds?”

‘another damn good question! this guy is on fire!’

she hoped he hadn’t heard that sarcastic thought.

“right! yes, well .. they value the truth! all the reporters do. and they report on a lot of good things, a lot of things that are happening outside of the aetern—”

“the aeternals!” he interrupted her, a happy and somewhat annoyingly fanboy-ish smile on his face. “yes, i see here you’ve written a lot about them! this is exactly what we’re looking for!”

‘oh, god. please, i know i’ve lived a mediocre life, but please don’t torture me like this. it isn’t funny.’

“huh- what isn’t funny?” he asked, horror becoming mimi as she realised he had heard her thought — or at least a part of it.

“nothing! ha— anyway … the aeternals aren’t really my main focus as a reporter. honestly, heh— i’m not really the biggest fan of them, you know? we could be reporting on things that actually matter! not that aeternal x and aeternal y went on a date. god, i mean, they’re obsessed with themselves!” she laughed, though her laugh quickly dying down into an awkward chuckle as she began to realise she had went on a tangent and that mr. kim was now looking at her rather unimpressed. "but, um— as a reporter, i don’t mind any assignment i get. i’m … good at … adapting.” she mumbled, attempting to remedy the situation as he continued to look at her with his stare that was boring a hole into her skin.

“yes … well, this has been a great time to meet you, miss minji. we have a few more things to look at before we can offer you a position. we’ll contact you.” he said, standing up with an obvious forced smile that made mimi realise she would probably be evicted from her apartment soon.

“oh … is that it? you don’t need anything else?” she asked, eyes quickly scanning over his papers which held numerous interview questions.

‘it can’t be over! fuck— shit, i really need this job!’

“we’ll contact you. have a great day!” he repeated, nudging his head towards the door for her to exit at. this couldn’t be the end. panic slowly began to rise up mimi’s throat, and the anxiety began to eat at her.

and although she racked her brain for something to say — literally anything, nothing came to mind. she could’ve said she was just kidding about the aeternals. or she could’ve begged and kissed his shoes, telling him that she needed this job. but nothing — absolutely nothing.

‘great. well, might as well start selling my things now!’

“thank you, mr. kim. nice meeting you, ha..” mimi trailed off, hoping for a little more, but immediately feeling rejected as soon as he sat back down in his chair. it was then that she noticed all of his aeternal figurines. “i look forward to hearing from you!” she added lastly before leaving the room, feeling completely dejected. what had she done wrong?

was there truly no one else that found the aeternals the most boring people on the planet?

on her way home, mimi had decided to treat herself to a ‘you’re jobless and probably being evicted soon’ special: a large order of chinese food, a mango smoothie, and 6-packs of sour skittles. this was deserved.

and when she had gotten home, she was not surprised to see 3 of her clones waiting for her — her main 3. mi, the one she actually liked and usually helped her out. ni, the one who she got the mango smoothie for, and jiji, the one she absolutely could not stand.

“mimi.. welcome home! oh— no.. you look so sad..” mi spoke, hurrying over to give her a hug. it felt weird — her hug was somewhat static, but it comforted mimi nonetheless. “don’t beat yourself up about it, there’s plenty of jobs where that came from!”

mimi briefly wondered how weird it must look to see a girl talking to 3 of herself. but disregarding that fact, she sat on her couch rather quietly, rolling her eyes at mi’s encouragement.

“yeah, thanks — except, i’ve applied to every single reporter job in this place, and i’ve been rejected by all of them!” she quickly sat up, feeling a rant coming on as she began to assemble her chinese food. “i mean, honestly! i’m more qualified than 90% of their reporters! i graduated from harvard, i interned at BBC, i have a master’s degree and i’m only 23 — what is it?! am i ugly?!” she yelled, narrowing her eyes at jiji who just began to giggle at how silly she obviously sounded.

“come on.. calling yourself ugly is technically calling us ugly.” ni mumbled, sipping her smoothie.

“god … guys, i really need this job. i used up all of my savings moving, and i can’t go back! my parents can’t know i’m fucking up either— god, i’d rather die—”

and as mimi began to contemplate how easy it would all be to just ask her parents for some help, her phone pinged! with a notification: an email from mr. kim. almost in the speed of light, her phone was in her hand and her eyes were quickly reading over what she knew would be a rejection email.

Re: Job Application Kim XXXX, 19:26 Good Evening, Miss. Go,

After reviewing your application, experience, and interview notes, we are pleased to offer you a reporter position at the herald. The position will start effective Monday, April 22nd, 2024. We are excited to have you on our team. If you have any questions, please contact me via this email.

Have a great night, and see you in the office! Kim XXXX, recruitment officer

“holy shit!” she screamed, suddenly jumping up onto the couch, disregarding her chinese food. “holy shit— holy shit, holy shit! i got the job!”

[brilarsn]

i am so…

my dad went on a tangent at dinner and then when we commented on it feeling out of left field he joked that “loose association is one of the signs of psychosis”

and i immediately was thrust back two years to when i was in constant debilitating pain and experiencing psychosis and didn’t know and couldn’t think about anything without making a million random connections and was literally seeing health professionals weekly who didn’t help me and i tanked at work and withdrew from virtually all my friends and family and have never really resumed contact

(i’m sure not many people noticed but my months-long more or less hiatus from tumblr back then correlated pretty neatly with my psychosis)

it makes me so sad and it also is just so scary to think about that time. how i didn’t have a grip on reality. one of the first things in the list of common things among people experiencing psychosis is believing people are sending messages to you through the TV. i remember learning that in school and being like wow i can’t even imagine thinking that. and then i literally believed it age 25.

and i’m also so ashamed of having been psychotic (even though i don’t think other people should be??) that i haven’t talked about it with basically anyone.