#...i'mma be responsible for a change and give in lol

[namine-somebodies-nobody]

Okay...so i'mma out myself as the anon, (I was sending a lot of anons from that reblog post, lol) but one of the asks I sent was relatively the same question to everyone. I now realize as @krys-loves-otome pointed out, that my question might have been a bit too broad. Plus after reading her response, I am actually curious of how others would answer as well.

So the question was; Do you think you could survive 24 hours locked in a room with your least favorite character?

I'm going to to change it a bit, and give specifics.

Survive was a bit too strong of a word. We're going to assume even least favorite characters are not dangerous, so obviously you would survive. But do you think this time would change your perspective of that character? Do you think this time together might drive you more apart?

You and this character have entered this room willingly. However getting stuck was not planned. Like walking into a storage room/cellar/basement, and then realized you are locked in.

You do have a decently comfortable place to sit/rest

There is food and water/drinkable liquids (I don't want anyone to starve/dehydrate)

We're going to go ahead and say no wifi/cell phones/electronics of any kind are available (otherwise you'd just be able to contact someone to let you out.)

You can also answer this as an OC if you'd rather.

So how do you think this 24 hours would be for you and your least favorite character?

I also just want to throw in here, this is not a question meant to bash on any character. By saying your least favorite character, I just mean someone that you might not vibe with. Please do not make this in to an answer about how horrible/awful/how much you hate this character. Just because you don't like them doesn't mean everyone else does as well.

[werevulvi]

Has radical feninism improved your life at all? What do you get out of it that other subbranches of feminism or trans activism don't give or offer?

You know what? Sometimes I ask myself the same question, lmao. It's a harsh branch, and I find myself unhappy with it as I have with any other ideology. But despite that, I still hold onto radfem, at least half-assedly. Because despite the greviances I may have with some of it, it is the only branch of feminism that is based on reality. The harsh, painful reality that tries to break me down. And I guess keeping my chin up in that sorta weather makes me feel stronger and more powerful.

Radfem helped me forgive myself for being female, and to dig into my internalised misogyny, which helped me find self-love. That is invaluable. Although that's not saying I think I owe radfem in any way. It also made me more angry at the world and feeling more trapped and hopeless. Because if I can't escape my female sex, then wtf can I even do? And can I even cry "misogyny" when I'm being rejected things I always thought I could take for granted as a woman/girl, perhaps even discriminated against, based on my masculine appearance? Or is it all my fault?

I felt my internalised misogyny get better after tons of self-therapy and healing, only to feel it again plummet to the bottom again, when I noticed that I'm being treated on some kind of a mass scale just for the way I look. Can feminism help me? Is that selfish of me to even utter? Who knows. I am not a collective of common women's issues to bring to the table. I am just me. Me and my stupidly unique issues.

But what I need to remember is that my suffering is none of radfem's fault. It only opened my eyes. I knew I might likely hate what I'd see if I did. Yet, I still chose to open my eyes. What depresses me is patriarchy, and frankly trans activism and it's near constant putting sticks in my wheels.

It might be petty, but to me, understanding that biological sex is immutable is not only the scientifically correct understanding of biology, but also the most logical one, but perhaps most of all... it's the only thing I can base my womanhood on. Trans activism is incredibly quick to discredit me as a woman because I transitioned and don't like "looking like a woman" (I dunno what that looks like, but I know it's not how I look) because they deem it transphobic to base womanhood (or manhood) on biological sex. Even when I do not even discredit trans women as women. (I mean I kinda do, but not like publically. I tread around that topic like a sleeping wolf.)

Honestly, I'm way too much of a nihilist (realist/pessimist) to even be able to hope that patriarchy can be torn down, within my lifetime or ever, so in regards to making real life changes... feminism is kinda pointless. The world is just too rotten. But I guess I see it as that I'd rather die trying, you know.

Although my allegiance to radfem specifically is waning. I don't like the collectivism part of it, nor do I like most suggested solutions like the Nordic model for solving the issue of prostitution (I'm a Swede, we have it here, it's awful, I'd rather vote for the Australian model.) As a starch centrist and libertarian, I also strongly disagree with the heavy socialist (not rarely even communist) thread that runs through radfem. Although I really don't care to fight others for being socialists, I just can't fully agree with that.

So with my string of rather small, but still, perpetual disagreements with probably most radfems... I'm straying all the more from the ideology as a whole. I'd say I more consider myself just a gender critical feminist nowadays. Which yeah, is probably "practically the same" for an outsider, but for someone's who's been digging around in it for a while... there's whole lotta difference between, for example Andrea Dworkin (radical feminist) and Posie Parker (gender critical feminist) and not just because the latter wears more makeup than the former did, lol. But that's not saying I'm 100% onboard with Posie's opinions either. They're both just examples.

With that all said, I think it's important for me now to take what I agree with about radfem and leave the rest behind me. Take what I like about trans activism, and leave the rest behind me. Think for myself, form my own opinions and walk my own road, come what may. I've never been much of the type that flocks or relate to whole communities.

But has radfem improved my life at all?

Yes, definitely. It taught me there's nothing wrong with being female. It taught me that womanhood has nothing to do with outward appearance or what sex stereotype you wish look like. It made me aware of my internalised misogyny, and helped me understand my sexual traumas better as well. All of that and more... helped me heal tremenduously. It made me realise that it's in being female I find all the gender comfort and stability I'll ever need... without even trying. That was groundbreaking for me, and it still is. Radfem gave me the view of womanhood that I sorely needed, which trans activism never could. And I am forever grateful for that. I said those same words 2 years ago shortly after I first detransitioned, and I will keep saying it.

I may casually call myself a "cis" woman, but it's just political and it's fun because the TRA's hate it. Someone like me openly identifying as a cis woman is exactly what the world needs... I think. Because that might actually change things. And that is... I think, probably the most impactful thing I can offer for feminism. My refusal to "look like a woman" (again, unsure what that means), yet being proudly a woman based solely on my biology. But I digress.

But point is I'm a "cis" woman by my own standards. I could never even possibly touch that label with a ten inch pole by TRA definition of it. This matters, because to them it's only trans and cis, and vast majority of people do not fit that model. No matter how much I listened to TRA's, they only ever had me spinning in circles, and radfem finally broke me free from that seemingly endless sphere. But I digress. Again. Fuck, it's 2am and I'm spiritually already asleep in bed. Was just gonna write a few sentences for a reply, I said. It will go quick, I said. Well, oh well... I think it's been an hour, and I need a smoke. So I won't proof-read this mess.

Sometimes I wonder if that's the only true "female liberation" there can be: to finally understand your trauma, and starting to defend/trand up for yourself and other women.

What radfem gave me was kind of a chance to turn my life all around, and finally transition from victim to survivor. And I think that's not a small gift. It's about the greatest thing I've ever gotten.

But please do keep in mind that I am a very multi-layered person. And most of the time I'm not even fully aware of what most of my brain is doing. Even when it’s not 2am. I'm not nearly as self-aware as I think I am, literally. I'm a bit fragmented still. Who knows what my billion different aspects and opinions are doing, but they’re surely not communicating, lmao. Alright I'mma go to sleep now. Sorry this response became so disorganised. It was a good vent though, and gave me a lot to think about, so I hope you like it.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #228

“blood on her skin, dripping with sin, do it again, living dead girl.”

How many sugars do you like in your tea? Man, I find A LOT of tea or coffee questions in surveys. Anyone who reads these knows by now I hate tea. Ever heard of a band called The Dresden Dolls? I fucking love "The Gardner," but it's the only song I know. What was the last movie you saw that made you laugh out loud? Idk, I watch movies so rarely. Who’s your favorite superhero? Deadpool, if you count him (technically an anti-hero, I kno). Otherwise, I don't really know. Possibly Spider-Man. What does your regular attire consist of? Pajama pants and tank tops lmaoooo. Popsicles or Ice cream? Ice cream. Are you good at solving math problems in your head? It's almost impossible for me to. Even simple addition. What kind of M&Ms do you like best? Normal chocolate ones. What is the last thing you tried on in a store? Uhhhh I think formal shirts when I was actually working on getting a job... Are you comfortable enough around your friends to change in front of them? No. Does your best friend wear makeup? No. Have you ever dated someone in secret? No. How do you get splinters out? Tweezers. Do you ever send people good morning texts? Sara sometimes. Is there someone who makes you blush when you just say hi to them? No. Do you kiss your pets? Of course. Why did you go to church the last time you went? My then-friend was having a serious "reborn" and devout Christian phase. Who’s the richest person you know? I don't know. How old is the oldest person you know? I also don't know. 90-something. Who's the last person who asked your name? My math professor needed a refresher when handing out test results. Have you ever been so drunk you couldn’t even talk right? No. Do you know anyone with a million middle names? I know someone with three or four. Do online dating sites ever work? For some people. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? No. Have you ever lived with a person who you tried to avoid at all costs? No. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? I guess suburban/rural mix? Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? Alzheimer's. What is your worst childhood memory? I mean it depends on what stage of childhood, but I'm going to assume you mean like, pre-pre-teen years. In that case, just my parents fighting. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? N/A What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Fighting with my little sister, probably. What is your biological sex? Female. What is the oldest gaming console you own? A GameBoy Advance. Of all the houses you’ve lived in, which has been your favorite? If you excuse the bad memories, my previous one. Do you get sunburnt easily? Oh yeah. What’s the color of your front door? White. Your favorite ice cream flavor: It alternates between just plain chocolate and vanilla. How many people have you been really in love with? Twice. Your favorite song at the moment: "Necessary Evil" by Motionless In White feat. Jonathan Davis. What’s most important for you? My well-being. Do you snore? No. What are you looking forward to right now? Mark's next big project comes out October 30th and I can't physically wait, but after that, all I care about is December getting here so I can go up to Sara's. What’s the earliest you’ve ever had to wake up for work? N/A Do you use reusable shopping bags to reduce waste? No, but I wish... I don't do the shopping in my house, so it's not really my decision. How many times have you moved? Three times *really*, but you could kinda say four when Jason, me, and our two friends/another couple moved into an apartment together; my name was in no way involved as being an official resident, but it eventually came to a point where I was there every day and night for quite a while. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? Yes. Do you know anyone who has been on life support, and survived? No. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? HA HA fuck no. They've been divorced since I was like 16. Have you ever read any of Charles Darwin’s works? No. Do you think there are more dimensions than what we’re able to perceive? I lean towards no, but it's possible, sure. Does anyone in your family have schizophrenia? Yes. Do any of your neighbors have loud children? No. Who would you say is your hero? Mark, my mom, Sara. You can only shop at one store for the rest of your life where would it be? If you're talking about in order to buy everything, from food to clothes, I'd have to say Walmart. Do you text type or do you type out all your words? Mostly the latter, but I'll use "lol," "otw," stuff like that sometimes. Have you ever given money to a homeless person? No. I'mma be real honest, I don't think I ever would. I just DO NOT trust people. It's fact that the money is usually used for alcohol and drugs, and I've seen news of more than enough posing assholes. Who are you living with? My mom and pets. What are your opinions on colored contacts? Cool as fuck, wish I could wear them. Are you comfortable with your body? Fuck no. What is one thing in your life that is no longer there, that you miss? A social life. What do you believe is the best thing about being a kid? No responsibilities. Life is just simpler. Last time you had a s'more? Shortly after Sara left when she visited. We had leftover stuff so Mom and I made a few. Do you like peppermint candy? Yeah. Do you like spearmint or peppermint gum better? Peppermint, I think. Do you prefer fruity flavors over minty ones? Yes. Do you have a little Pink brand dog from Victoria’s Secret? No. What is the last thing you blew? Idr, I'm sure some kind of food. What’s the last gift you received? Sara got me a mug with a super relevant Markiplier quote sobs- What did your parents do today? I don't live with my dad so idk, but I know my mom's at work. What is the symbol for your type of computer? It's just the brand name. Do the clothes you’re wearing have any type of symbol on them now? Skulls. Do you like peas? NO. Where is your favorite place to be massaged? I wouldn't know, but probably my shoulders? Do you like composition books, or spiral notebooks? Spiral notebooks. The person you like, what color eyes do they have? Brown. So what is your favorite physical feature about that person? She has a freckle on her hip that is so fucking cute. What kind of four wheeler do you have? I don't have and never have had one. Do you live where there are a lot of cows? Sure, I guess. What is your favorite animal with spots? Probably snow leopards. Give me your opinion on sports. I don't have a problem with them (save for like, boxing and ones that can seriously harm people), but I'm not into them. Why do you play the sports you do? N/A Do you actually care about your school work and what grades you make? Yes I care. Do you have a typical family, or a weird one? Honestly a pretty broken one. Do you have a favorite letter? Probably "z," particularly in cursive. From the room you're in can you hear a door shut when someone arrives there? Sometimes. What states have you been to in the past year? Just NC and Illinois. Well, I obviously flew over other states, but I've only stayed in those two. Have you ever sleepwalked? I have not. Do you want children? Why/why not? "Hell no. I don’t like kids and I don’t want the rest of my life to be centred around one." <<< That's a great description for myself as well. I know I would be a fucking awful mother, too. Not as in I'd be mean to my child, absolutely not, it's just I barely manage to take care of myself a lot of the time. I'm not emotionally fit for that job and the stress it entails, at all. And yeah, being willing to make someone else my world is something I'm never doing again. I want my attention to stay on myself, my spouse, and pets. Do you have any credit card debt? Hi, I'm 23 and don't own and never have owned a credit card. Who do you go to for relationship advice? Honestly, I don't. I look within myself for those answers, really. I think I'm pretty intelligent and aware of how to maintain a healthy relationship. There's been times I've talked to my mother about things, but yeah, she's not the greatest to talk about all that with. What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Swimming. Have you ever been scammed? Not successfully. I think. Did you ever take a personal finance class in school? None were offered at my high school. I don't know if they are now at my college, though, but I don't think so. They need to be, and mandatory. I don't have the slightest goddamn clue how to handle money. How’s your mental health? Are you feeling well? I'm going through a rough patch right now. School is stressing me. Not having a job and struggling with money to the extreme is about to make my hair fall out. Do you struggle with acne? Not anymore. Did you have a Xanga page back in the pre-Myspace days? I've never had a Xanga. Around what year did you start using the internet, anyways? I was like, 9-10? Maybe even earlier with Webkinz and Neopets, idr. I know I started RP in 2005, and that's when I was very actively online. Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? A few. Forum RP is definitely the "weirdest," hence why I hide it publicly. Then there's photographing roadkill. The LOOKS Mom tells me I get when I'm on the ground next to a dead animal, lol. I've had questions, stares, and cars turn around aplenty to make sure I'm okay. I'm really self-conscious about doing it, but I really love doing it for the purpose of forcing eyes onto just how brutal roadkill can be because of us, and the validating comments I've gotten about it online pushes me to keep going with it. Well, that and of course just sincerely enjoying it. That being said, I like gore - in moderation, and some kinds are just off-limits without me getting grossed out. "Vulture culture" (the use of naturally deceased animals in some form of artwork) is also something I am very very interested in. Wet specimens of anything are cool as all fuck. There's a load of unconventional things I enjoy. What temperature do you keep your thermostat set at in the winter? Uhhhh idk, 70-something. Have you ever fostered an animal? No, but I am 110% fostering opossums once I get my own place and am authorized and properly equipped to do so. What is something you thought you’d never like, but you enjoy now? Hm. OH, ketchup. I hated that shit as a kid. Did your parents ever not let you watch any television shows as a child? Yeah, but none in exact come to mind. Basically like, MTV and stuff like that was a big no. How old were you when you had your first kiss? Who was this kiss with? I just turned 16. It was with Jason, my first "real" boyfriend. Have you ever betrayed one of your parents in any way at all? Doing what? I don't think so. What are your favorite stores to go to when you visit the mall? Hot Topic and Spencer's is like all I care about that we have available near here. Has anyone ever told you they don't like the way you run your life? Ohhhhhhhhhh, I wasn't the only one who experienced that with her. At all. Does it bother you when you comment someone’s pictures and they don't even comment you saying ‘thank you’ or comment one of your pictures? I find it rude if they in no way acknowledge a compliment, yes, but you don't have to say thanks. Just like, like/hearting the comment (I'm using Facebook as my platform here) says enough to me that you're appreciative. Now for the second half of the question, that's stupid. I don't care if someone doesn't comment on a picture. Or anything. When was the last time you had a shot? Are you behind on those right now? I had a few numbing shots into my gums when I had a cavity filled early this month/late last month since my tongue ring finally caused one. I'm not behind on any required ones. Have you ever had a really rare disease, virus, or illness? Really rare, I don't think so? When was the last time you just, genuinely went somewhere with friends? Been a looooooong time, idk. Probably not since I was still friends with Colleen. Would you consider yourself a hygiene freak, or do you not care much? Neither of those fit me. Though I'm more likely to neglect myself out of the two. It depends on how I'm doing. That hasn't entirely healed since recovery. Are you old enough to live by yourself or are you just mature enough? I'm definitely old enough, just not independent or healthy enough, or financially capable. What is one thing you stopped doing just because everyone else stopped? I've never moved with fads. Have you ever been considered the freak of your class at any time in life? "Freak" seems a bit strong of a word, but "the weird kid," probably. Have you ever been to a Sea World before? Which one in which state? As a kid, yes, in Florida. I wouldn't now as an adult; I do not even remotely support their captivity of whales. I don't know all the facts behind their business so can't speak for all the animals, and I am not against all animal captivity so long it is providing and with good purpose (conservation, education, etc.), but nothing will make me pay to support the incredibly incompetent housing and mistreatment of whales. Do you believe in any kind of magic? Is it the stereotypical kind? *shrugs* I mean I dunno, define "magic," I guess. I personally believe some form of greater intelligence created the universe, and I suppose that's "magic." The person I copied this from brought up a great point, too: Science itself can seem pretty magical, so where do you even draw the line? Ex., the evolution of caterpillar to butterfly. That shit's fuckin' wild. A living thing melts to mush and is reformed in an entirely and completely new body. With wings, dude. There are truly a lot of natural things that occur in our world that make that line we've created blurry. Are you currently working on any kind of project at this moment in time? An argumentative essay on climate change in College Writing, if you call that a "project." I haven't started writing truly in-depth yet and may switch my focus to arranged marriages (seems random, yeah, but they're from a set list of options relevant to the book we read), only because I get fucking heated talking about climate change, and our professor made a point of not "preaching," and I also have to be capable of writing a paragraph of concession, that being an acknowledgment of the opposing point and considering its views, but. I don't think I could give climate change deniers' mindset even a sliver of genuine thought. As absolutely awful and appalling as they are, at least I can see a reason (a terrible one, but you get me) like hastening procreation in arranged marriages. Okay wow rambling ANYWAY yeah, in the starting stages of writing an essay. Which do you do more: read books, spent time online, or watch television? I'm like... always online, so yeah. What do you do the most when you’re online? Listen to/watch YouTube. Which foot is bigger, your left or your right? I don't know, I've never noticed. Do you think you’re too old to go trick-or-treating? Personally I believe anyone should be able to, but by society's standards, I am. Do you have a bobblehead? No. Have you ever had a themed b-day party? As a kid, yeah. Were you afraid of heights as a child? Nope. Do you think it’s stupid when you’re dying to have someone pray that you don’t feel afraid? (I would want them to pray that I live, personally) No? I don't believe that there's power in prayer period, but it's kind, realistic, and encouraging to hope they stay unafraid. Death is natural and happens to every single living thing, so truly, we shouldn't fear death all too much. What’s the strangest thing you’ve wrapped a present in? Uh nothing? Do you enjoy and appreciate life? Or is this something you need to learn? I appreciate it very much, but I do need to learn to enjoy it more. Have you ever made a pom-pom out of yarn? No. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? N- oh wait, in Sunday school as a young child, I was Mary in one. I don't remember HOW large the role was, but I would assume it was relatively big. Do you know how to use iMovie? I've never really tried it. I could probably figure it out pretty quickly, though. Would you raise your kids differently than your parents raised you? In some ways. For one, I would fucking not spank them. What was the best part about college? I most enjoy the flexibility of my schedule. It's not a 7-hour or whatever day every weekday. If you were homeschooled, did you come up with a school mascot? If so, what? N/A How many times a day do you check your cell to see if you have a text? Whenever it vibrates. Ever wonder if the person you hate will become the person you marry? *Hated but lmao that might just happen. If you could live in three places, a year each, where would they be? Germany, California, and maybe Canada. Your choice of transportation for anything: camel, jet pack or carriage? Carriage, probably. Think of a movie and now give me that movie title: The last person said Titanic so now I'm thinking romances, so The Notebook. Quote a line from that movie: "Tell me I'm a bird." "If you're a bird, I'm a bird." I wanted that as a tattoo with my spouse one day once upon a time. Aw! A line from your wedding vows is now: I want to recite the Corpse Bride vows with my partner. I don't feel like looking them up rn. Name a song: "God's Gonna Cut You Down" by Marilyn Manson, 'cuz that's what I'm listening to. What’s a line from that song? "Sure as God made black and white, what's done in the dark will be brought to the light." Name your two favorite characters from a TV show or movie: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. Lust and Envy, probably. When was the last time you fell asleep in a car? I dunno. How often do you think about death? Not too often? Do you believe what comes around goes around? Not always, but cause and effect makes it so sometimes. What about everything happens for a reason? NOPE. Can you sing? Not well. What kinds of little advertisements are on this page right now? None rn. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? I don't believe so. Do you have any freckles on your feet? No. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? Black, when I do. I barely ever wear makeup, though. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? BENTLEY DOES, particularly with guests (once he trusts them, anyway). If Teddy is getting attention, odds are he's gonna come on over and stick his nose in it. Do you have any brightly colored pants? No. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? The laundry room. It's either hot or cold as fuck, depending on the season. Can you solve a Rubik’s Cube? No. I'm not good at planning future steps. Do you remember the last question you were asked? What did you answer? Well, besides the last survey question, I really don't. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? No.

[blue-burning-heart]

.

[crystallinetides]

So I was tagged by @just-plain-aiden to do a tag thingy!!! I don't really care about the rules but I love these things so I'mma do it anyway

LAST:

[1] drink: water, bc I'm basic like that

2] phone call: like, one I answered? shit man, idk. The most recent call to my phone was for a bill tho

[3] text message: My Tumblr auth code

[4] song you listened to: "Tous les Memes" by Stromae (the last English song I listened to was "Guillotine"...)

[5] time you cried: not recently enough my friend

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: yes, bad idea, 0/10 would not recommend

[7] been cheated on: .... no?

[8] kissed someone and regretted it:  yeah x.x

[9] lost someone special: yeah, my grandmother

[10] been depressed: it's p much a constant thing now???

11] gotten drunk and thrown up: it is not fun

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

[12] blue!!!!!!

[13] purple

[14] mint! (that weird green/blue bullshit color)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends:  oui

[16] fallen out of love: DAMN RIGHT, FUCKIN FREEEEEEE

[17] laughed until you cried: yes. actually I think that has happened more recently than actual crying

[18] found out someone was talking about you: idk???

[19] met someone who changed you: I don't think so?

20] found out who your true friends are: already knew, bruh

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yes, actually

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: like... all of them? I think that maybe 2% of my friends I don't actually know

[23] do you have any pets: three dogs, Charlie, Taz, and Flea Biscuit; three cats, Ivory, Tubbs, and Spooky

[24] do you want to change your name: nah. I use Crys online, that's good enough for me. although I went through a phase where I REALLY wanted to change my last name bc it's gross 

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: GOT TURNT and by turnt I mean I had a single drink at dinner and that's about it OH I WENT ICE SKATING

[26] what time did you wake up: WHOO BOY I have not slept since I woke up at 7AM Friday morning (it is currently 12:29AM Sunday...)

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: I was at work!

[28] name something you cannot wait for: part of me wants to say the Sweet Embrace of Death but I'm really just ready to go to medical school like fuck this

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: Thursday??? I think???

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: my propensity for procrastination

[31] what are you listening to right now: the various beeps of a hospital (Guillotine is stuck in my head on repeat)

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ... I don't think I have

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: my roots showing through the hair dye

[34] most visited website: this hellhole of a website (I use Instagram a lot more now???)

[35] elementary: I am unsure of the question??? Did I go to elementary school, is that the question? I assume so. Yes, I did. I loved it.

[36] high school: literally fuck high school

[37] college: GRADUATING THIS YEAR BRUH

[38] hair color: dark brown with red, but right now it's bright ass pink

[39] long or short hair: I got short hair bruh, easier to deal with

[40] do you have a crush on someone: nah, relationships scare me rn

[41] what do you like about yourself?: my eye color??? my ear for tone???

[42] piercings: I have two holes in each ear lobe and one in my cartilage

[43] blood type: A positive!

[44] nickname: Crys on here, but irl it's Brie like the goddamn cheese

[45] relationship status: single Pringle

[46] zodiac sign: Aquarius~

[47] pronouns: she/her

[48] fav tv show: this is not a fair question bc it changes; I am currently in Voltron hell, but FMA: B will always be my Number One anime

[49] tattoos: lmao I have five; one that is half of the phrase "Together forever, never apart; maybe in distance, but never in heart" (my sister has the first half, I have the second); the second is a watercolor style pink ribbon; the third is a Celtic knot for sisterhood; the fourth is a tree of life with a DNA trunk and birds in it; the fifth is a line from "Iridescent" by Linkin Park. I also have a teeny star on the inside of my wrist

oh lol and I have a plan to get two more in April at least

[50] right or left handed: right handed, but I play saxophone and am learning to play guitar and that's basically like being ambidextrous right

FIRST…

[51] surgery: wisdom teeth removal!

[52] piercing: my ears when I was like 7

[53] best friend : a girl in 1st grade that I don't talk to anymore

[54] sport: marching band bro. fight me

[55] vacation: Florida for family visits; my first out of country visit was Mexico

[56] pair of trainers: ... like, sneakers? shit man idk that was so long ago

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nothing, unfortunately. might heat up some pizza.

[58] drinking: water

[59] i’m about to: actually focus on my job 

60] listening to: nothing

[61] waiting for: a chance to sleep properly, I am so tired 

[62] want: sleep for a week and binge watch anime

[63] get married: I am nowhere near ready for that. maybe???

64] career: Im gonna be some sort of surgeon. thinking orthopedic.

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: hugs. give me all the cuddles.

[66] lips or eyes: eyes.

[67] shorter or taller: I prefer taller

[68] older or younger: I don't really care???

[69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic. I need structure in my life

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms, I think.

[71] sensitive or loud: ???? I have no clue

[72] hook up or relationship: at this point, neither. but if I had to choose, hookup. relationships are scary

73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. think that shit through

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger? nah

[75] drank hard liquor? lmao its pretty much all I drink

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? so many contacts have been lost to the Void

[77] turned someone down: yup

[78] sex on first date? definitely not for me

[79] broken someone’s heart? depends on who you ask

[80] had your own heart broken? yeah, wont make that mistake again

81] been arrested? no but I have had a parking ticket, I'm so awful I know

[82] cried when someone died? yup

[83] fallen for a friend: yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? I WILL BECOME HOKAGE (genuinely idk)

[85] miracles? okay the fact that we exist at all and can mount an immune response to literally any organic molecule is a miracle and I will fight anyone who says otherwise

[86] love at first sight? nah

[87] santa claus? hes clearly real 

[88] kiss on the first date? if you like em, why not???

[89] angels? .... meeehhh TECHNICALLY yes bc im hard polytheist....

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Mikaela and Erin <3

[91] eye colour: grey!!! fuck u theyre not blue or green

[92] favourite movie: Spirited Away probably

wow this took longer than expected

anyway now you know how lame I am even tho only ONE of you asked <3

if you do this, send me a link bc I'm nosy

[kkulmoon]

Ahaha i spoke too soon about no family gathering.... we having one rn as i type this for american thanksgiving. And quite frankly, beside my friend and my mom I have no one to say thanks for, and maybe a little of my dad but idk he finds things to curse and insult me everyday LOL I applied to 8 universities and theyre all relatively far away so hopefully i won't have to put up with this for much longer cuz I'll have an excuse to not come back during holiday. I'm so sorry for dumping this on you, i'm quite upset about a lot of things that involve my family rn and my grade is dropping so i just wanna vent a little.

I'mma miss my mom home cooking when i move away tho, cuz she's make amazing Viet foods that are basically my comfort foods 😂

ANYWAY JOONIE!! SOMETHING MORE HAPPY!! the man is getting more and more swole everyday 😤😍 and JUNGKOOK IN THE RECENT GROUP VLIVE!!! HIS HAIR!!!! he's coming for us all istg ✊😔😣 i'm about to change from med to law major just so i can sue them. Everyday i wake up to suffer cuz kpop bois exist 😩😒

I'm glad to see you're feeling better!! And today question is...

Describe your perfect day! What would it look like? And if you want... what would your perfect date look like? -Valley's Lilies

AHHHHHHHHHHH really random but goddd do I cherish you so much, waking up to your asks is one the few good things that I got going for me right now 🤧💕 never ever apologize for venting in my inbox, not only is it welcomed but I am glad you feel comfortable enough to share things with me 🥺sorry you had to deal with that ;((( but you know who matters to you and who you’re grateful for so I hope you at least got the opportunity to give thanks to them and that’s what matters... and yes you will hopefully soon be able to leave all of that behind you, when do you guys get the answers for you uni applications??

oh man i can imagine, there’s really nothing like eating food made by your mom, idk it’s really weird but it can NEVER taste bad 😩i’m planning to move out soon, so i’ve been trying to get her to teach me some more things just so i can attempt to replicate her cooking by myself 😭😭😭watch me move back home because of food ���� ooohh viet food 👀i have never tasted it before, what’s your favourite viet dish?

joon is hulking up at the speed of light and for every day that goes by i’m fearing what i’ll get to see next 😭😭😭 I CANNOT WAIT FOR HIS WEVERSE PICS!!!! (i’m already foaming at the mouth) we don’t talk about jungkook’s behaviour in this house, my brain just doesn’t work when it comes to him, why did the boi turn 23?? i just need him to remain cute cause i can’t handle one more bias 😣and that damned undercut 🥴if u change major then i’m becoming your prime witness lol

my perfect day involves me doing whatever it is that i feel like doing... i can plan my days when it’s needed but i prefer having it free so i can do whatever, so for me a perfect day would be one where i have 0 responsibilities to tend to and can do whatever whenever. 

as for a dates i don’t really know 🤔i haven’t gone to many dates myself but the ones i’ve enjoyed the most have involved some sort of chill activity, cause like i get very jittery rip and cannot sit still just looking at the person so i need to do something with my hands and have something else to look at 😭😭😭 

i had one bowling date that i really liked, it was a good balance between movement and staying still lksjdkdjkdl, what about you? what does the perfect day/date look like?

hope you’re staying healthy and taking care of yourself hun mwuah 😘

[thequeerexpoditionist-blog]

1-64 cutie

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? What does this even mEaN2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 1 3. The person you would never want to meet? Trump yo4. What is your favorite word? Probably "yo" since I use it all the time yo5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Willow 6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? Ew7. What shirt are you wearing? This is funny sorta, but a tie die shirt I made for my ex that I never had the chance to give to her aha8. What do you label yourself as? a fuckiN LESBIAN9. Bright room or dark room? In between 10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Thinking about some stuff11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 1712. Who told you they loved you last? My sister 13. Your worst enemy? Uhh myself yo14. What is your current desktop picture? Pictures from pride15. Do you like someone? Indeed I diddly do16. The last song you listened to? Earth17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Idek probably no one bc I'm a nice bitch18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Oh boy the list is VERY long19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Trump and make him gET HIS SHIT TOGETHER 20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Uhhhhh 21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? Literally the same way since eVERYONE THINKS IM A BOY22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Not really 23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? What does this even mean 24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. You know pb&j is pretty bomb25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? lol totally not on my animals 26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Dude that's a lot of pressure but I've always wanted to visit new zealand idk27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? This is dangerous to answer I'mma stick with some O.J. 28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? I'm not good with big responsibilities like this29. What is your favorite expletive? fUCK30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? I have this flash drive with basically my life on it, all my pictures and poems and whatnot so definitely that31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? I don't want to talk about it 🤷🏻‍♀️32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Damn idk like Canada probably 33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? One of my close friends.34. What was your last dream about? I proposed to someone and it was all wild and there was this cute, brown dog there35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? Fuck up? Yessss36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Yes a few times 37. Have you ever built a snowman? A mini one in '08 lmao 38. What is the color of your socks? Grey39. What type of music do you like? All types honestly 40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets 41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? I'm lactose intolerant man42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) I don't really keep up with sports but I support the ones who were protesting fo sho43. Do you have any scars? Many44. What do you want to be when you graduate? Theatre teacher 45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My mood swings tbh lmao 46. Are you reliable? Yeah I think so47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How you be48. Do you hold grudges? I try not to49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A lion & a shark bc those are my two favorite animals aha50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Any conversation with my sister 51. Are you a good liar? Eh not really 52. How long could you go without talking? Not very53. What has been you worst haircut/style? This one rn bc it's in the awkward stages of growing back54. Have you ever baked your own cake? Yes55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Yeah 56. What do you like on your toast? Grape jelly fukkk57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? An ocean wave58. What would be you dream car? A jeep59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. I sing hella loud yo 60. Do you believe in aliens? Yeah there's somethin out there61. Do you often read your horoscope? Sometimes 62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Y63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs are cool and all but dragons are cooler 🤷🏻‍♀️64. What do you think about babies? Loud lmao