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Started out as an elaborate “draw me like one of your French girls” joke and spiraled outta control from there... @lu-dao-writes posted the same scenario in their Kinktober 2024 and they were kind enough to give me their blessing to post my take! Please check out their fics as well! If this scenario in particular interests you, I rec you this post! :3
Further details below the cut so that the above the cut stays safe for anyone who is just scrolling through!
18+ Content MDNI || VERE x AIS x Reader
PROMPT/KINK(S): Dom!Vere, Dacryphilia (Tears)* + Cockwarming + Size Difference + Consensual Voyeurism. Power Play. (Some feral monsterfucking spice sprinkled v lightly on top.) [*original challenge prompt, randomizer used.]
OTHER INFO: “You” pronouns used for MC/Reader. Unspecified genitalia for both POV Character and Vere but Ais has a dick. Reader is the receiving partner in penetrative sex.
“Hmm, hold that pose,” Vere purrs.
Ais huffs a hot breath into your face as he freezes above you. His brows furrow, mouth twisting into a determined grimace as he grits his teeth. His forearms tense hard where they are resting on either side of you, fingers flexing against the silken sheets.
You can feel him pulsing inside of you. A hot, insistent ache.
You try to relax, try to breathe through it but the lack of movement makes you hyper aware of every inch, the raw feeling of him stretching you open, the way your body twitches so sickly-sweet with the effort. You inhale a slow, shaking breath, chest trembling, and shut your eyes in an attempt to block out some of the sensations—the clawing need gnawing at your core.
“Eyes open, darling,” Vere corrects you, tone somewhere firmly between scolding and teasing. “And turn your face back towards Ais. I’m trying to capture the moment .” Your heart is pounding in your ears but you can hear Vere’s smooth, sly voice with perfect clarity. Ais is an overwhelming force but Vere is a magnetic presence; no matter how caught up in each other you and Ais can get, Vere will always command attention without effort.
You turn your chin as requested, only to be caught in Ais’ gaze
(Caught and breathless–the same way you were when he was bullying his thick length into your hole, thrusting sharply and sighing in satisfaction, his fingers still at work massaging and pressing and stroking as he sunk into you inch by inch; he'd prepared you until your entrance was puffy and swollen, sopping with thick, medicinal smelling lube and he still had to take his time. Fucking you slowly until you could take all of him. And then, the moment you finally could...)
“Hmm, that's better. Stay just like that. Let me see those pretty expressions.” You hear Vere adjusting his heavy vellum paper. The glide of quick, clever lines being drawn.
You maintain eye contact with Ais, drunk off his breath, his body, the very essence of him, hovering so close above you, and are utterly unprepared to meet his intensity. The way he looks at you like he’s seconds from devouring you, barely held in check by the challenge that Vere has laid before him. Before both of you.
You bite into your lower lip as you shift involuntarily, oversensitive nerves still riding the throbbing of Ais’ dick. He’s so fucking thick and girthy that he presses at the soft spot inside you without even trying. The angry pulse of him is a gratifying thrum, stoking your aching heat by way of mere burgeoning contact.
His cock gives another strong twitch and your insides clench around him. He feels so fucking good–you almost think you might be able to come like this, if you can get your body to keep on clenching like that.
—Almost.
Your next breath comes out as a sob. There’s a high pitched whine building at the base of your throat and your lashes are wet when you blink.
A monstrous snarl escapes Ais’ lips, one that you can feel even more than you can hear, the vibration of it echoing through your body everywhere you're pressed against him. The pinnacle between your thighs pulses with it, and your toes curl involuntarily as an errant tear runs down your cheek. Ais is shaking, sweat dampening his face, his pupils expanding and contracting rapidly, his eyes locked on you as he barely holds himself back. “Sparrow,” he says, gravel in his tone.
You say his name in return, your head tipping involuntarily, bearing the softness of your throat, faded marks from both your lovers decorating your skin. You hear the sheets rip below you, torn into shreds where Ais’ nails have dug into them.
Vere sighs pointedly. You hear him stop his work, tap his charcoal against the paper as if he’s not entirely satisfied with the scene in front of him. He pauses for a long time, leaving you both in limbo.
When he moves, it’s to stand. To saunter over to you both. You’re pinned beneath Ais, unable to look away, but you can feel Vere’s shadow fall over you just before his hand touches your face, forcing your eyes to his as he catches a crystalline tear with his index finger.
“Shame,” he says, dipping his fingers into his mouth, his tongue lapping up the taste of your tears, lavishing the digits with his tongue. You whine out a desperate, quiet note just from watching his tongue at work and he basks knowingly in the attention. “I really thought I could get you both crying.” He smiles dangerously once his fingers have left his mouth.
He uses them to drag a wet path down Ais' spine. “Oh, but the night is still young. Perhaps I may still think of something that will do the trick...”
18+ Master List | SFW Master List ✦"Kinktober Speedrun & Other Gratuitous (TOUCHSTARVED) Smut" on Ao3
#kinktober 2024#citrus fiending tag#18+ MDNI#see above tags for the tags you'll wanna blacklist if u don't wanna see this stuff <3#something real nasty for those who partake <3#vere x ais x reader#touchstarved fanfic#touchstarved x reader#touchstarved lemon#return of the citrus scale; my old friend#ais x reader#i'm just gonna tag ais x reader bc i think if i was looking specifically for vere...would this fill the need...? hmm. thoughts??#ANYWAYS I AM BACK POSTING MY WRITING i took an unexpected break to recoup some energy but i have some stuff to share just had 0 Willpower#i have to sleep now or will get sick again lol but more...tomorrow...ask box time yayay
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i just think it’s so funny that zoro does not even wanna comment on the usokaya situation when usopp explicitly asks and he very pointedly looks away when they kiss and yet he proceeds to butt in every single time sanji flirts with a woman or implies he knows about romance to redirect attention back on himself like god i wonder where your interests lie…
#also the goading sanji into talking with him and just commenting on every single thing sanji says... ok!#zoro is patient 0 of terminal sanji-itis#this is the live action but i mean... this is also animanga zoro and zoro in the movies at times is it not LMFAO#but while they were fighting and then even when he was asking for seconds of the dish and sanji finished his dialogue and zoro CONTINUED#do u want his attention or smth? are you happy you have someone who u can bicker (flirt) with every day and can hand ur ass to u and u him?#also sanji just BEAMING and smiling whenever they bicker is just insane INSANE like yeah they're enjoying this... wow...#also obviously zoro has all the weird UST charged dialogues with multiple MEN like i truly don't know how u can see him as straight lmao#anyways... i just needed to ramble anyways... i fear s2 will be insane with new pet names and arguments I'm actually so hyped#like oh i wanna see the look on sanji and luffy's faces when zoro calls out his finishing move LMFAO (let him be a loser pls)#OK RAMBLING OVER FR... i just like talking about zosan idk#zosan#zs#opla#tagging for spoilers ish#sanzo#zorosan#sanzoro
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1x69 // 1x89 or; keyleth and percy and "i need you"
#keyleth#percy de rolo#critical role#vox machina#criticalroleedit#marisha ray#taliesin jaffe#cr#cr1#my edits#percy and kiki#sorry i have diseases. i put the last 2 gifs next to each other and teared u]p#'i need you. but we're not all going to make it' . god. top 5 things percy has said that make me mentally ill#ALSO. THE FACT THAT CHARISMA IS KEYLETH'S WORST STAT. SHE HAS A +0 TO THAT. AND SHE ROLLED A 19#these gifs are so crusty i love them so much tho#if you're seeing this on mobile i am sorry the alt tag is covering like half of the percy dialogue text </3 just click on th gifs to see it#rohan don't look#<- this gifset doesnt have overt spoilers but in case ur seeing this. block that tag for the future lol
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pearlescent moon but like inside a shell . looking cool. like a pearl. do you get it
i think i get it
#chat i was gonna color this but its taking me toooo long so none for u. ill rb it w a colroed version if i ever finish#coloring takes me soooo long thats why most of my posts r uncolored recently#geminitay#pearlescentmoon#rose draws#hermitcraft#i drew this bc i didnt know if anyone else has drawn pealr as this bf. if so i will be soooo distraught#i have 0 idea if this counts as artistic nudity bc shes censoring herself lmk if anyone needs this tagged!#request
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Hey I know you’ve probably already been asked this but what type of chemistry do you use for breaking bread like biochem and where did you learn this or have any book recommendations to pick it up? Also ty in advance I love your writing!!💕💕
oh my fucking god. oh my god. buddy. buddy you have made my fucking LIFE ASKING THIS OH GOD
So like, most of the chemistry I've used so far has just been Genchem and O Chem(with a wee few modifications to make it believable as a Cybertronian discipline, like Transformium being able to hold 4 bonds like Carbon but preferentially forming bonds w metals and needing an EMP pulse to interact w more electronegative atoms) I may wind up needing to get into a bit of Inorganic chemistry, but that's probably fewer and further in between. If you want a better handle on the stuff I'm writing or if you just want to learn more in general, then I'd recommend giving yourself a lil crash course in Genchem and then delving into O chem a bit more extensively (protip : you need WAY less Genchem then you'd think to fully understand O chem. God I wish someone had told me this 5 years ago. If you search "Genchem for non majors", you'll probably learn enough that way.)
THAT SAID : here's a chaotic, not really in any order list of the books/youtube channels/etc that I've directly used/am using for this fic.
Books :
Caveman Chemistry, Kevin R Dunn - Alot of hands-on old timey historical chemistry lessons w detailed instructions on how to complete them.(YOU GET TO MAKE YOUR OWN ASPIRIN AND DRAIN CLEANER!) Delivered with a delightfully occult bend.
Back To basics,(Reader's Digest) - Survivalist homesteading bible. Not strictly chemistry but has alot of earthy hippy ways of generating energy( biofuels my beloved)
An Introduction to Fire Dynamics, Dougal Drysdale - Honestly this, and any other firefighting manuals are worth their weight in gold for figuring out how to not set yourself and your neighborhood on fire while playing with, well, fire. Trying to look this info up online is like playing russian roulette with intentional misinformation and your fbi guy.
(there's another book I have that's even more detailed but I can't find it right now or remember the name. I'll update this list when I can!)
Organic Chemistry, John Mcmurray 8th edition : generic but good college O chem textbook. You can search around and find free versions to download relatively easily.
The Organic Chem Lab Survival Manual, James W Zubrick - Also a very good way to learn how to not set yourself and your neighborhood on fire when playing with glassware/gases. Very in-depth instructions on setting up and using lab equipment without breaking anything or your brain. Has a fuckton of pictures. Author has a massive sense of humor and makes this heavy subject easy to read. Again, easy to download/find in archives
Unfortunately I do not have any recommendations for Genchem books. I mostly used free online courses like Khan Academy to learn what I did.(I would def. recommend them though)
Youtube Channels :
The Organic Chemistry Tutor : Dude puts everything from reaction mechanisms to retrosynth problems down in the simplest possible terms. Does not beat around the bush with euphemisms or stories, gets right to business. If you have trouble paying attention, or lose your mind when a professor goes off on a tangent, this man is your savior. I have crippling unmedicated ADHD and no STEM background whatesoever and this man still managed to teach me 2 separate ways to execute a Gabriel Synthesis
Nile Red : World's most inefficient and most powerful wizard. I am not entirely convinced he's human. Does shit like turning plastic gloves into drinkable grape soda or making sweeteners out of his own piss and somehow makes it explainable to trash goblins like me who only need the science for warlord pussy.
again, anon, holy shit thank you so much. Like you wouldn't believe the amount of damage you've just undone. i have been beating myself into a pulp and spiraling into anxiety about this fic an trying to do everything right and you've given me enough moxie to fuel me for at least the next 10 chapters. If you have any more questions or more specific questions, please do not hesitate to ask! I can't guarantee I can answer them, but damnit I'll try. Take care and happy learning you funky lil moonbean.
#Breaking Bread#megatron#megatron/reader#I know I don't need those tags but lord I'm relishing the thought of ppl stumbling upon this w 0 context#u know what I'ma go ahead and pin this thing.#Took me YEARS just to find out exactly WHAT I needed to learn and WHERE to learn it#if I can save someone from wasting all that time then that'll be nice
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Late night rants GRGRH I think most of you don't grasp how insane wacky I am about Ted, which is fair, only my mutuals/friends are aware of my insane wacky idiot behavior when it comes to him but like.
how on earth am I not diagnosed with anything. this stupid paranoid white man takes up every inch of my brain space. he's digging holes he is EATING AWAY!!!
i don't think you guys get it my hyperfixation on him is so strong that I can't even produce content for/about him half the time because I have like 7 things involving him I wanna draw but I can't pick and so I just go days without drawing anything IT'S SO BAD.
obligatory insane Ted rant okay bye off to continue fanfic writing
#ihnmaims#ted ihnmaims#ihnmaims ted#GOD I love him#he makes my PHYSICALLY ILL#seriously I have physical reactions with talking/thinking about him#my chest. ough it hurts#this isn't reffering to stimming that's a whole different insane category#I mean my chest just fucks up when i think of him#i don't even know#back to stimming#it's not enough#I need to EXPLODE#YOU GUYS DON'T LOVE HIM LIKE I DO!! RARGH!!!!#love u Ted...... if no one else does I'll be there.....#if Ted has 0 fans I've been taken out#CHOKED to death#anyway that's enough tag nonsense bye
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Your chains are still mine- you will sing for me!
#days since my last nonsense: 0#The Phantom of the Allagan Opera#the allagan tempest#viola of allag#ffxiv gpose#went in to Syrcus to take pictures of Viola in her opera gown for the gala and ended up with this instead /playdead#maybe I'll take her on a non canon field trip to Il Mheg or something as a treat#oh! she should take Ces along he deserves it ;u; I'd just need to find an outfit for him#amon#idk if I should make a ship tag for them....its....its something#passion and the allagan opera
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omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!
#& [it might be 5am but i'll still see if i can draw some] trackpad homemade reacts. inhales & hands to head/face x9 then walking off#site giving pretty random Suggested assortment there where i was like oh right sure. prob not tumblr keywords captures lmaooo#(plus happened to have it open in firefox) but my god Not the scapegoated literal seers lmfao. whoooo. my god#also it was just really good anyways like right nice. damn#the (queerrr) seerrr the perceiverrr the truth tellerrr the ruinerrr the scapegoat be-errr the internalizerrr the neurodivergerrr#& now i Know there is 0% chance ppl weren't putting ''always a gay cousin or it's you (avuncular edition)'' in that thing#family tree design not even leaving space for the hypothetical kids of this relative we mostly pretend is nonexistent hmm#also that necessarily. it's giving all intents & purposes Disability abt a dozen ways & it's saying [accept that] vs [we'd better fix him]#you don't cite said [it's giving disability] as part of the We All Hate The Horrible Little Freak scapegoating justification & then be like#''actually we don't have to do that anymore b/c he's sooo normal :)'' or not if you're serious about [don't scapegoat your family] anyways#which like oh ok they Are serious so The Weirdo's scapegoating / casting out / lack of support Isn't justified#so he's still weird & you just gotta get over that b/c otherwise. bye. having a natural rat affinity is such a slay btw#& we've all been there like ''you NEVER want two scapegoats talking it's Over if they do'' + littlest kid is like um. they're the best#plankton voice Correct! inhale i'm so impressed like. getting to go ''finally someone Normal'' (serious abt letting someone Be Weird(tm))#which also always counts as like mm hard time suggesting someone's Not queer & also autistic for a start lmao. an award#adding in suggested layers like talking to oneself; talking Oddly / w difficulty; physical uncoordination; rituals ; acting; animal friend#the layer of ''& all that's fine? like?'' again rather than him ever suppressing or even changing it so far as it's suggested#besides that it's observed as Weird like but so? or else what? nonrhetorical: hostility / rescinded support & driving someone off is what?#& that Truth like the [worse treatment / exclusion / scapegoat] oft recipe for someone giving the support they're not getting themself#again Never let the [ppl both experiencing this] talk oh it's So over. or the child who's all i like family support & kindness actuallyy...#obviously also like the complete opposite of billions. knowing what they're about & letting this Just As Beloved crucial guy be So Weird#but billions Also [hmm feels right for our scapegoated guy to Perceive / Tell Truths / openly want/need & then be hurt] now get his ass#anyway [guy who could always go way on could go way on but only has thirty tags & it's 6am & i still mean to try some drawing] voice#remarkable amt of So True & ''it feels like ppl on the same page w/exactly what they're doing are all behind this''#remarkable amount of concentrated My God That Is So A Slay located in bruno all at once. what a gift#sticking to ''sometimes someone In Your Group is Weird. Disabled. deal'' firmly enough there's no ;) oh u can bet we'll Fix Him in the end#everyone always assumes the worst so....me when i'm [always as a kid yearning for Living In Secret Passages]. emile gtmpota?#oh congrats to whatever rando who will be having his dramatic gay reunion w/bruno just out of frame obviously. i perceive#now imagine if That rando was....emile gtmpota! what a crossover event. haunting4haunting. do i have enough tags for this lmao. yea#& having 1 more tag to say: as though the [endless serving] isn't enough bruno's also as close to gender envy as it gets. incl rats; sure
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maybe i should just be grateful he didnt full on block me everywhere
#but... does it matter when he doesnt even talk to me..#im like mentally and emotionally blocked lol#im trying so hard not to spam him w messages and get myself actually blocked#but i wanna die#i dont understand how he can just .. not care abt me#i really need to get over this but idk how#i need to start accepting that my blog is my ONLY friend#and i need to talk to my blog as i want to talk to a friend#then it wont matter anymore if ppl come and go#bc my blog will always be my best friend#i need toget ober the avpd shame of like damn i posted this and got 0 notes#bc i dont post for notes#in fact the less ppl who follow and see the better bc getting attention is scary#but im like wow if someone sees this theyll think im a loser#but i dont actually care!!!#anyway i wanna send cat pics to someone#and he doesnt wanyt my cat pics anymore#so i should like make a tag on my blog which is my real friend#and share pics of my cat whenever i want#thats good too bc then i can save it as memory on my online diary#^-^!!!#but bc of childhoos neglect i have this compulsive need to share things WITH a person#anyway i need to get over that#im sad bc i miss HIM as a person but also that i could share things w him#but yeah... whatever!!! i should be happy he hasnt blocked me. yet.... :(#and i need to be careful and not give into the urge to message him and be like umm why dont j care i miss u helloooo#bc then he willblock me and yeah i cant dealwith that :((
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daily may day 8: doll
yall ever watch doll customization videos? theyre very relaxing 😌
#daily may 2024#erdisia#queen#tm2#original#ocs#enjoyed the amount of Clutter in this one . would love to render it sometime (VERY PINK)#anyway this is obviously not what the actual medical area looks like. is it dissociation? is it bonkus of the conkus? is it me trying to#keep things E for everyone? something else :0) whom knows............(I know)#queen would nevr have her bangs that much out for smth like this tho she knows to wear proper hairnets and stuff this is not her first rode#ik its very fluffycutesty coded already but if anyone is squeamish abt medical stuff and needs me to like#tag this as ..something...so u can blacklist..let me know?
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So, @silv-paru sent Sherlock Holmes for the character opinion bingo. thanks a bunch for this (and for your patience. my god, i’m answering this a week late. typical me behaviour). you’re a darling :D
Did you know, i used to tell these stories to my friends? they delighted in them AND i got a chance to sort of ramble on and on abt him and watson. it was a win-win, really. ah, those were the days! now i haven’t reblogged much of him this month at all. i miss him. I MISS HIM.
Onto the bingo: well. he’s The quintessence of gender™ to me. and i relate to him so so much. fav character of all time fr. i want to carry him in my pocket at all times & study him. like. do i want to BE him OR am i IN LOVE with him, ykwim? pssh who knows? certainly not me. uh-huh ‘a beast unleashed’ -does this refer to me or him? you choose. oh re: canon, i’m ignoring the part where holmes dies (or y’know, is dead for 3 years). that’s too angsty.
#sherlock holmes#my dearest blorbo#he’s my belovedest chewtoy basically#if i think abt how modern adaptations *looking at you bbc sherlock* have ruined his character i get so angry i have to take deep breaths#*mutters darkly* he is NOT an arrogant cold-hearted bitch like he’s portrayed; well he IS a bitch but not a cold-hearted one!!#see. the thing abt holmes is that he’s SUCH a sweet boy okay. and he’s compassionate#he cares sooo much. that’s the reason people come to him when they’re distressed. they trust him#he hates the police. he is a jester at heart. loves his watson#he’s here to help the truly desparate helpless people even if they have no money to pay him for the case. no questions asked. But-#he fucking despises obnoxious rich men. the first time he meets watson a total stranger he *very excitedly* tells him abt his experiment#it’s very adorable. he never stops trying to impress ever. infact blushes furiously when complimented by him#my guy has 0 knowledge of our solar system but he’s written several monographs abt different types of ASHES. go figure!#OH i almost forgot the most important fact he’s special to me bc holmes is an audhd gay disaster bastard. sometimes he’s even bisexual#but mostly he’s acespec and in a qpr w watson. he’s VERY adhd. behaves like an excited cat and oh so cute when he stims. everytime he does#i go SQUEEE. when he’s depressed it’s a goddamn hashtag big mood. as in many other ways he is me i am him#he’s PASSIONATE and KIND that’s all you need to know#acd stories are about just some guy who loves his job (which he invented himself btw after quitting college) that’s it#i am overcome with an almighty need to squeeze his cheeks#he’s everything to me <3#alright if i don’t stop now i doubt i ever will LMAO bye#acd holmes#if u read till the end u get a cookie and a kiss on the nose i love u#silv tag 💞
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GRAAAAAAAH MISREPRESENTING DATA DOES NOTHING FOR ANYONE EXCEPT FEED TROLLS WHO ARE TRYIGN TO TAKE OYU IN BAD FAITH ANYWAY OH MY GD
#mild vent#jsut kinda tired of checking sources and seeing time and time again people misrepresent data thats Easily checkable to support their points#u dont need to make up statistics you are literally making things worse for everyone bc now the arguments will be over what the stats REALL#are instead of the core issue u were talking about [insert upsidedown smiley here]#its like across topics too. ive seen so many bold claims linked to sources that when i check them there is 0 mention of that in the documen#or any of the (linked) supporting materials if its an article#this also isnt just about one post or one person or one rb ive been on this for MONTHS at home#i thnk my wife may be sick of me coming up to her and going over and over “this data isnt real” oh mygd#just. if you see something with a crazy stat and there's a source link maybe check it before rebloggin git#honestly even if its not stats related cause the number of times i see ppl rbing posts where OP absolutely would Not agree with them ro wou#be outright violent/aggressive/bigoted/etc abt topics they supposedly ccare abt. . . . . . ..#anyway for that one tho reminder to block the tags of hate groups! yes you will soemtimes miss a post but more importantly u will learn the#dogwhistles sO fucking fast.#anyway. idc if this makes sense its a tag vent and no one can rb anyway and discourse with ur momma if u think im mean for this ig
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Hey guys!! this is just my insane ramble on Still Waters Run Deep that's made by the lovely @un-local. I've had so so sooooo many thoughts about this fic and I decided to try and put it all coherently in a post :)
Probably not a lot of new insights, just many, many rambles
Magdalene analysis and her view on Rogier + some other stuff
Magdalene, at the start of the story, is aimless and refuses to follow any line of Grace, putting off whatever it leads to and going in the opposite direction. Yet Grace is fickle, and it all eventually converges, so she gives in. (aaaand a life-changing partnership ensues)
She wants out of the competition of becoming Elden Lord, and she wants nothing to do with it. Someone else to take lordship is what she wants. Magdalene, in her eyes, is not worthy to take the throne. But Rogier on the other hand…
Rogier is, quite literally, built different. He thinks differently compared to Magdalene (a STR vs INT user difference lol). He’s able to pick out all the details that she would miss. Be able to extrapolate and examine it all and be able to learn from it. Magdalene can't do that.
It's basically:
Rogier: says some fun facts about the most random thing in the room, saying all the history behind it, and what the tiny details could mean Magdalene: yeah, that's a rock.
So instead, she becomes a tool for Rogier to be able to use, because that's the least she can do for him.
“She can already feel the faint grin forming on her lips at the thought. She never wanted to be Elden Lord. She’d finally picked up and followed grace to... to get away, with no idea what it called her to do. When Melina told her where it led her, she felt only dread. But Rogier... To save Those Who Live in Death... Two birds, one stone. She meets his eyes, and doesn’t look away. In them, she doesn’t see pride, or avarice. She doesn't see a man who wants to rule the world. Not at all. The path forward is clear now.” -Chapter 22
For once, she really sees a light from the dark future she sees. She's hopeful that she won't have to take the throne, that Rogier can burden it instead of her. He's worthy in her eyes and because of that, she devotes herself to him with all she can do. (Ah but… I believe Rogier wants her to be Elden Lord? Not sure but her not wanting to be Elden Lord doesn’t quite fit with what he has planned)
Magdalene really holds onto Rogier, and his guidance (a comfort wizard, if you will). And so the idea that he won’t make it… that she’ll be left alone with Grace again, forced to join back into the competition for lordship... It's sickening to her. So she really clings to him, desperate to not be left alone with a destiny that she despises.
Magdalene is always pulled into different directions. Grace pulls her to one but she pulls herself to the opposite one. Fia and D are both on extreme sides of the spectrum on Rogier's survival, and Magdalene is caught right in the middle of it.
But for her, Rogier will survive, he has to survive otherwise... that light, that small hope she has will all fade into obscurity.
Ghosts from the past (Lorens and Ida)
I absolutely love how something, or rather, someone haunts both of them.
Lorens had been the catalyst of all of what Rogier does now. Why he’s so desperate to save those who live in death. He's literally devoted his body and mind to Lorens just to see him alive (maybe Rogier's devoting all of himself to finding a solution to death because he wants it to come back to the old times when it was just him and Lorens in the Rise, or maybe not!! I'm just rambling lol).
Every thought of Lorens is painted with a sort of bittersweetness to it. From Rogier's perspective, at the very least (I'm super curious as to how Lorens would view Rogier but we'll probably never get it because... you know...). He's almost obsessed with him, and it's all pretty unhealthy lol.
Magdalene, who’s haunted by Ida who's probably a sort of lover that hadn't been fully brought to fruition. Different opinions on what they have had made Magdalene leave with (from what I have seen at least, we have scrapes of her, people! I can't wait to see more of Ida though)
Now with Ida... Magdalene absolutely shakes herself out of every thought she has about Ida. Spurning every single thought or imagination she has of that woman.
"Nausea comes in waves. Fever. She can feel delirium taking her—she’s convinced she’s submerged in the very waters of creation, for a while. She vividly feels herself sinking deeper and deeper into a current; cold and dark and inescapable. As it pulls her down, she’s overcome with the instinct to breathe it in— Against her temple she feels a hand, with gentle fingers dragging softly through her hair. Suddenly, every layer of the dream collapses in on itself, and she jolts awake with a gasp. Here, in Liurnia, she hauls herself up, rubbing at her face. Even the memory is a shock of cold water to her. She’s a woman haunted." -Chapter 23
(I just really love this part- I can't help it)
I think it's also really interesting how Magdalene leaves Ida due to their differences in what they have (?) while Rogier just absolutely hangs onto Lorens no matter what, despite him being... er... him. Not so sure about his personality with the small flashbacks we get of him but he’s probably not good for Rogier.
In short, Rogier venerates Lorens, while Magdalene absolutely rejects Ida. (Opposites!)
Rogier’s overthinking
Also found it interesting that when Rogier thinks he really thinks. He's a professional overthinker, even in the past
"He thinks of the labyrinthian etiquette, the way he’d triple-check every sentence for a double meaning. The secrets, the ruthless political schemes. It all felt like a spider’s web to him. He’d learned the game, and he played it well, but it had been nothing but paranoia and misery for him. Just like it was for everyone else." -Chapter 17
It's what's kept him alive (Ch. 17), and what's been able to pave the way for his findings Yet, it’s also his curse. He tries to pick out every detail that he can and think of every possible reason or motivation. Every single outcome he just needs to know so that he won't get caught by surprise again. He needs to be in control of the situation, he needs to be the master of the chessboard.
Oh and once this guy spirals, he really spirals. He starts thinking and looking at details, rewinding every single thing, every interaction, and trying to label a reason for every little thing. Yet... something emotional seems to break the surface of the water.
I personally think that he was raised to overthink. He was a noble after all, and he dealt with politics. He truly needed to check, double check, triple check, every single sentence and word in case it would have a double meaning. "He’d learned the game, and he played it well" (Ch. 17) . Getting worse after Lorens' death, being fooled by "Only a cut." (Ch. 25) and seeing the aftermath of it.
He can't not do it because if he doesn't, and he gets surprised it would break him (or at the very least, freak him out).
ALSO!! Rogier hating on "saccharine conversations" (Ch. 17) good lord. This guy cannot be real with anyone. Rogier refuses to show vulnerability because:
1. He was raised like that (the whole attachment theory thing) 2. He will absolutely break if he does
Do you guys remember when Fia tells Magdalene that "dear Rogier began to weep as he spoke" (Ch.14)? Fia saw through Rogier's walls through the cracks and he just absolutely breaks down. (Get yourself a man who, after "embracing" tells you all about this thing he's obsessed about and then cries because of it)
It's a mortifying ordeal, that someone's able to see through the walls you've meticulously put up. It hits something deep within that he’s tried to bury.
Despite the walls he puts up people other than Fia see through them. Magdalene (Ch.7) was able to see through the small cracks that have broken, and Roderika... hoo she really hit a nerve didn’t she? (But it also hit one of her nerves too, Rogier vs Roderika am I right?)
Chapter 17 analysis
Also, while we’re on the topic of Roderika, let's talk about chapter 17! Seems I have a lot to talk about.
I absolutely love this chapter so much, it gives us so much insight into Rogier's backstory and the way he thinks. His noble background really shines through here, with how he acts with Roderika who is a fellow ex-noble too.
"His grin is wide and carefree, but it rather feels like he's baring his teeth. There’s no room for your pity here." -Chapter 17
This guy cannot accept any sign of sympathy/compassion with anyone. It's all pity to him, and he absolutely hates pity. Once Roderika starts to console him too it sickens him and it makes him bare his teeth like an animal, his baser instinct showing just a little bit.
He’s probably bore his teeth to other nobles in the court, or whatever meetings they have with one another. Small threats that get the message across by a vicious smile, is something he is all too familiar with.
I also think that it's a little bit funny how he gives advice to Roderika but then is also a little bit of a hypocrite about it
“It’s hard, to leave it behind. But the old world will keep its claws in you, if you let it.” -Chapter 17
Rogier while it's not his past life that he's stuck but rather, he is stuck on Lorens. Even though Rogier is no longer Lorens' student, even though Lorens is dead, he still has his claws on Rogier. It's his entire motivation, why he's in a "pathetic" state now. He isn't letting those claws go, he lets them dig deeper within him, and they dig in deep.
“You already have it within you," he says. "They were only trying to bury it.” -Chapter 17
Rogier immediately buries his own emotions in this interaction when Roderika tries to console him lol. Just based off of him being an ex-noble and his whole family thing, it's well established that he is very much used to burying it all down his gullet. I mean, is it really Rogier without emotional suppression?
Also Rogier tends to close off all the matters that relate to what he feels in his dialogue both in game and in SWRD. This guy cannot let out just a slight moment of vulnerability
A Color Theory Thing on my read on Rogier's garb:
Rogier, with his background being grounded in nobility has suppressed his baser desires in exchange for meaningless political schemes that have only brought him misery. Yet after coming to these lands, he finds himself with Lorens.
He wears a Raya Lucarian Robe and it has red on it. It's a sign of baser instincts being shown for once. He has grown an infatuation with Lorens despite being his student.
Yet, Rogier is still mostly blue, and he still suppresses that baser desire that he’s developed, that infatuation for Lorens. He never once builds up the courage to be able to tell Lorens what he feels. He would always bury those feelings down, and as a result he can't let go of it. It's far too deep to be buried back up.
But once Lorens has died, Rogier changes too.
He exchanges those garbs for yellow and turquoise (I think?). He's a mix of colors and beliefs.
He still has the blue in the turquoise, which symbolizes calm, intelligence, and emotional control (you can’t spell Rogier without emotional control) But turquoise isn't just blue, it also has green.
Green represents growth, life, and new beginnings. This is a new beginning for Rogier, who's set out for a new goal, to be able to save those who live in death (and perhaps give them life? Not so sure on that but in SWRD that seems to be the case with Lorens).
It's balanced by yellow. Creativity and originality, he's almost the only person we meet who wants to save TWLID. Not only that but yellow also symbolizes illness, which could be a foreshadowing of what happens to him later in his life.
It's not just sickness though, yellow also symbolizes deception. Rogier lies, but I necessarily think he's someone who is always deceptive. He's more like the type of guy who would lie so that an encounter would go well or not hurt someone else's feelings. I think he's like that from that whole ex-nobility thing he's got going on. Political schemes and lying through a smile is something that he's familiar with. (It also doesn't help that he keeps being emotionally suppressed too lol)
Cowardice is another. Rogier is scared to tell anyone about his emotions, to take that risk of being honest with someone. His background in nobility and his family definitely doesn't help either.
Rogier had been too scared to be true to Lorens and tell him his feelings, and because of that, he would never be able to. I feel like he's avoided it even more afterward. He refuses to take that jump of being honest with someone, whether it's about his emotions or his ideals, he doesn't let them go.
But when he does? With D, it completely breaks off everything they've had. Everything that they could have been.
"Beguiled fool. A rotten, sick bastard. Fouled by them. A wicked, two-faced user. Heartless. Loathsome parasite. How could he? Were they not supposed to set this crooked world straight? Profane. A perversion of honor. A madman." -Chapter 5
“Get out of my sight.” “I’m sorry.” He’d said, and he was. But Darian’s lips curled back, and he jerked his head away and locked his eyes on the horizon. His jaw twitched, in the moment he took to reply. “Don’t talk to me.” There was nothing he could do to fix this. To undo his mistakes, to spare Darian his intentions." -Chapter 5
It's all gone because he had been honest about his goals (presumably). This experience probably strengthened that emotional suppression so as to not be hurt/caught by surprise.
So when Magdalene, someone who wholeheartedly accepts his ideals and sees his side for once, he's cautious. He can't believe that someone can genuinely agree with him because all the times that he has been honest, he's been punished for it. (though, he reminds himself that she's not like that)
In short, this guy's a mixed bag. A mixed bag with problems
(basing this off of the Elden Ring color theory video, it was an absolute joy to watch)
[EDIT]: idk what to call this section but he seems to seek out some form of approval. Lets see how that ties in with his grief!
"He still doesn’t understand why. What did he do, specifically? Or was he just past his usefulness? Deemed unfit to rule? He never truly wanted to rule as Lord, but to be cast aside so indifferently—it had shaken him. Every now and then he fumbles with this, again and again, but he knows. He does. He knows that grace has forsaken him for good reason. He’s a heretic. An apostate. He who does not obediently bow before a faltering, decrepit Order, so ill-equipped to handle the world as it is. " -Chapter 5
"All these years. Couldn’t change a thing. Rather pathetic, I’d say—what a fool, thinking that this crooked world could be made right by mortal hands. Sure, deathblight. Truly, a fitting end for a worthless, rotten bastard." -Chapter 12
Now, speaking from some personal experience, being raised in a family that's of nobility and expects so much out of you from a young age definitely breeds some kind of self-worth issues that really stick with you. Especially if you haven't had anyone to truly support you.
Because of that, I believe that Rogier, in a way, is trying to prove his worth. But not to the Order, I think that he's in some way trying to please Lorens. Even in death.
He puts everything into his studies of Death, searching and scouring for scraps of information just to give him a single lead on anything, and for what?
"Its fulfillment will be a selfish act of altruism. These crooked lands will set right, by his hands, for a reward of nothing at all. But make no mistake: he needs another day. And another after that, and another after that. He needs his questions answered with questions, he needs his notes corrected in an unreadable hand, he needs to hear one more “Well—” followed by the most opaque, convoluted tangle of sentences ever constructed. There’s no reward he seeks, but the warm smile of cold gray eyes and a scoff about just what he’s wearing nowadays. " -Chapter 19
Rogier devotes himself to saving TWLID (saving Lorens, in reality), but it's not because it's all for selfless reasons, he seems to want things to go back to the way things used to be. Back at the Rise, with just him and Lorens once more.
I don't think Rogier ever accepted Lorens' death. He's determined to bring back Lorens, desperately trying to find a solution to bring him back no matter what.
And it’s quite hypocritical isnt it? That Rogier wants to change the Order to be able to sort of… revive Lorens from Death. To go back to the old times that they both had had.
This guy refuses to grieve and is searching (desperately) for a solution for a dead man who's probably not even good for him. Get this man some therapy
This entire post's summary is just me going:
Anyway, that's all for my crazy rambles! I can't wait to see how SWRD will progress, and how everyone will intermingle and grow with one another (Rogier and Mags)!!!! :0)
Have some doodles + a WIP that I'll probably never finish as a treat for reading this! (Mag's torso was wayyy too long on the second one oops)
(bonus boggart because I love him)
#not gonna talk about d yet#I don't want to assume too much about him just yet#but d is really interesting and i absolutely love this take on him and his grief :0) (not that I've read any other d fics.)#Rogier is so damn complicated#like. he's got so many problems like. dude get a grip and get a therapist#mags reel him back in and send him to the therapy office while ur at it#sorry if u guys cant understand my insanity... it cannot be contained#or else ill explode into pink glitter and my blood splattered all across the room#hhhh maybe ill edit this later i have to do some stuff :(#oh also unlocal if u do see this no pressure at all!! I just needed a place to be able to go crazy over ur fic lol#theres like. probably a lot I've missed but I'll make another one if I get insane again#some of this is probably incorrect and is just me reaching for an answer that doesnt exist btw#swrd#rogier#magdalene#envelope rambles#i wrote this in like. two sittings#what is happenign to me#I STILL RAMBLE IN TAGS YOU CANNOT STOP ME#the mortifying ordeal of posting#AAAA#uou guys i keep noticing things and. i just keep on fuckign ADDING MORE THINGS IN#[EDIT]: Added in rogier's self esteem into this too :3
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mumbles [tf2 sona] lore dump
long post omg 0_0 u have been warned
blood/scars/eye horror cw - nothing graphic but just a heads up
mumbles is originally from space they aren't human, they are a creature/ entity made of gas and flames, it is a shapeshifting being that doesn't have a "true" form necessarily but when not shifted tend to just look like a blob of gas/fire/smoke but it is rarely in a state of non-shifing they take many forms swapping and bouncing between them as it pleases. it's main form that it tends to take is some sort of "quadruped" [often they have more than 4 legs so it varies] with multiple sets of eyes and mouths, very spikey or whispy and things are always moving around.
mumbles is very curious by nature and very friendly [for the most part] but they often come across as off-putting or scary it also has trouble reading body language and facial expressions so most of the time they don't even realise that they're scaring someone however while living in space they do come across other lifeforms and some are welcoming and willing to be friends.
eventually they stumbled upon a rocket ship and was very fascinated by the machine they think it's beautiful and of course go to investigate
[they are able to gain entry by going completely gaseous and sneaking inside and it's because they were not fully in a physical form that they didn't take as much damage when attacked.]
[side note: mumbles is immune to damage in their gas form and in a physical form regenerate very quickly. this does change once they're on earth]
the astronauts inside however are not welcoming to the very "monsterous" creature before them and freak the fuck out, mumbles is very confused by this and honestly just thinks this is how humans act but when the astronauts decide to pull weapons on them, shooting them and trying to use flares against it-
[in this state mumbles is immune to bullets and invulnerable to most damage however it still hurts though which is what upsets them]
-it becomes upset and well...."takes care of them" [they are very dead oops] and so mumbles turns this now empty ship into their nest/den becoming very attached to it.
eventually during a asteroid shower it's ship is knocked about waking them and its first thought is trying to get their home out of the way of danger so it goes out into the meteors trying to push it's ship out of the way, a particularly large meteor comes outta nowhere and smacks them right in the face pinning its body to the rock and because they're traveling so fast is unable to move or get out sending them crashing down to earth.
the meteorite that hit it was massive and contained an unusual amount of radiation and did a massive sonic boom, as well as the impact it really messed with its shapeshifting and regenerative abilities, after hitting the ground it is very weakened but not dead [they were able to just at the last minute swap to their gas form [[but not fully they were still partially physical which is why they got more damaged that it should have]]]
scarred and burnt a bit as well as having significantly less abilities [their shapeshifting now only able to do very simple and small things] as well as needing to recover and adjust to earth's gravity they are now stranded on earth with no clue how to get back home.
initially all mumbles wanted to do was to go home but eventually they really started to see the beauty of earth especially with its creatures, mumbles loves earth's animals [animals don't tend to run away from them screaming like the humans do] and take a particular liking to cats so much so that they permanently add ears and a tail to their own appearance :3
[side note: mumbles before becoming a mercinary didn't have a name their name was given to them by their team]
I have a lot more to say about mumbles I've been thinking about it a lot as of late so I might make a second post this one's already long as hell but if u read all this I am handing u my heart ;w; also if u wanna know anything in particular about my ocs pls ask ^_^
#🔥.txt#tf2 ocs#thiz probably isnt perfect probably loop holes and stuff but ive been thinking about it a lot latley my little meow meow#also the design isnt super finalised i dont even have a colour palett for them yet#they arent solid white lol i just dont have a colour scheme yet <:] only thing i know is that they have yellow eyes#plus i need to come up with what they look like present day under the mask#if anyone actually reads all thiz omg i love u forever >0< crying and sobbing#long post#eye horror#blood#scars#oc: mumbles#mumbles oc tag
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drops this and runs
#hi im (kind of) back#do not care abt Tumblr or twt enough to stay logged in to my phone so ur only gonna get me for like a few hours midday while I work :p#if u rlly need me message me on discord im always fucking on discord LMAO#anyway I think someone tagged on of their reblogs of my stuff with tags for something else cuz it makes 0 sense but it is rlly fucking fun-#-so ty for that#kite draws
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The Baby finally has a set of jammies that i'm not scared will stain her resin!... now i just need to figure out her actual outfit
#bjd#dolls#shes a little weird lookin im figuring her out very slowly considering i had. 0 plan when i got her#my wife says she looks a little bit like a monkey which i do like#but i was so deadset on her being like. a little angel or a fish or smth#idk. either way i think shes cute right now so im not too bothered#sorry followers who dont like dolls btw let me know if u want more tags#also i really need to find her a name that isnt The Baby sometime. before it sticks and im stuck with it forever.#my art
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