#...i dont get her she's super weird about him but im not gonna get into that rn

[skrunksthatwunk]

RASCAL'S BACK

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙you want me to? | LS2˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: logan sargeant x james vowles assistant!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au

warnings: just fluff!!!! i loveee this plot hehe

summary: in which your new job facilitates you in finding new love

a/n: i love this request & i luv writing for logan !!! not sure if i executed it super well tho let me know what you think 💘 my recent emojie now is just: 🇺🇸🦅

request!!!: May I suggest a Logan Sargeant x James Vowles assistant! Reader? Like her job is to get the boys stuff they might need and to like help out around the paddock and Logan keeps asking her to get him stuff as an excuse to talk to her. And people start to notice when Alex and James start lightly making fun of them in interviews and stuff. Just think it would be funny

my masterlist

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, and 188,274 others

yoursername shit's weird

view all 4,183 comments

lilymhe PRETTY GIRLLL

yourusername 💞💞💞

logansargeant heyyyy

*comment deleted by logansargeant*

logansargeant hope ur not calling me weird

yourusername jury's out

alex_albon yes queen

yourusername werkkk btch

user1 who is she??

user2 james vowles new assistant

user3 logan is in love with her i can already tell

yoursister proud of you!

liked by yourusername

yourusername posted a story

liked by alex_albon, logansargeant, and 58,173 others

alex_albon the boss in question is...logan sargeant?

yourusername he's a growing boy !

lilymhe lol, logan?

yourusername almost everytime!

lilymhe aww he just wants to see youuu

yourusername 😂

user4 i want her job

alex_albon posted a story

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, and 308,134 others

user5 is that y/n

user6 who ???

lilymhe hahah he has the biggest crush on her

alex_albon & everyone knows it too

yourusername ALEX THIS SOUNDS SO MEAN LOL

alex_albon srry for bullying u

interview ->

twitter ->

instagram ->

lilymhe

liked by alex_albon, yourusername, and 527,193 others

lilymhe vibey

tagged: alex_albon, yourusername

view all 8,173 comments

user12 omg y/n in the last pic so cute

user13 omg i luv her she's fit into williams garage so perfectly

yourusername my best girl

alex_albon just for the record she is my girlfriend not yours ok?

yourusername & does she know that?

alex_albon i would hope so yes

lilymhe 🤔

alex_albon 😍

liked by lilymhe

logansargeant 😍

*comment deleted by logansargeant*

user14 did anyone else see logan's deleted comment

user15 yup i think james is right 😛

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 254,973 others

yourusername settling in!!!

view all 3,872 comments

logansargeant very nice pic of me thanks y/n

yourusername of course 😝

williamsracing we love u y/n 😍

yourusername 😘 u know how i feel about u

williamsracing 🤭

jv.f1 y/n stop flirting with the williams admin

yourusername srry 😳

user16 LOL not james telling her off

user17 y/n i didnt know i needed u in my life

oscarpiastri yup settling in i see 👀

yourusername what does this mean oscar

oscarpiastri no further comment

user18 she's gonna become a wag soon mark my words

messages ->

interview ->

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alex_albon

liked by lilymhe, georgerussell63, and 692,273 others

alex_albon common williams W's

tagged: lilymhe, yourusername, logansargeant

view all 6,938 comments

user24 OMG hi y/n

user25 omg is y/n sharing an umbrella with lily

yourusername rahhh 🦅

alex_albon subtle 😜

lilymhe my girl tired of subtle

user26 omgggg

user27 something is happening i can feel it in my bones

user28 yea y/n & logan falling in luvvvv

logansargeant yea i look so cool and absolutely not awkward at all

alex_albon your awkwardness is all part of your american charm

logansargeant im blushing now thanks

user29 my fav williams era ever

yourusername posted a story

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, and 79,172 others

lilymhe i just choked on my tea ☕️

yourusername HAHAH ok but why did he say i dont like americans

lilymhe idk but he's so in love with you i can tell

yourusername 😭😭 dont say stuff like that

oscarpiastri you better be wearing clothes under that

yourusername oh no party pooper piastri is here!!!! the clothes police!!!

oscarpiastri ur the worst thing to happen to williams

yourusername ask logan what he thinks 😇

user30 omg this is crazy

user31 HELLO?????

user32 is this the most unsubtle indirect ever

messages ->

twitter ->

messages ->

instagram ->

logansargeant posted a story

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, and 284,293 others

alex_albon AHHHHHHHH

lilymhe omg it's happening

oscarpiastri finally

user37 omg they're dating they have to be

user38 THIS IS SOOO Y/N

user39 AHHH OMG

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 98,293 others

alex_albon TEXT ME BACK YOU HORRIBLE PEOPLE

lilymhe i need to know EVERYTHING

yourusername 🤭

user40 omg now it's REALLY confirmed

user41 my favourite thing ever

user42 SOOO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS

user43 i want this

twitter ->

instagram ->

logansargeant

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 392,283 others

logansargeant i pulled a baddieee

tagged: yourusername

view all 9,283 comments

user49 omg omg omg

user50 best day of my life

oscarpiastri awww i feel bad for ever being mean to her now srry y/n

logansargeant when were u mean to her 😤

yourusername he's a bully logan

oscarpiastri nooo😨

alex_albon pls dont leave me out pls pls

yourusername NEVER EVER EVER

logansargeant how could we, u wouldnt let us

alex_albon 🤨

lilymhe DOUBLE DATE WHEN

yourusername omg yes yes yes

yourusername I LOVE YOU AHH 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

logansargeant i love you 🥰

jv.f1 you're welcome 👍

liked by logansargeant, yourusername, alex_albon, lilymhe, oscarpiastri

THE END 💙

[rzyraffek]

Slashers with y/n that just gets along with everything

Like slasher could litteraly kill somone near y/n and she would be like alr alr whats really important is that you are happy🤠😎. Im sorry that first 2character had super long headcanons while last ones have way less :( I had no ideas Request open!

Billy Lenz

He always expects some sort of negative response when he calls people and when he heard new voice on the Phone he got even more exited cuz new person new reaction! He totally didnt expect her to just go "yeah yeah sure buddy, anyways... how is your day man? Cuz im so so tired...*starts normal converstation*

He probably tries to stay in character but he is so caught of Guard he doesnt know how to react really (hehe the table has turn)

Now he kinda hopes that she will pick up cuz shes very intresting😈 billy likey

"Ew its this creep again! He is asking for you y/n? Of please dont tell me you befriended him??" "So what? He said hes favourite fruit is strawberry he cant be that bad!" *billy saying slurs on the phone*

You need to constantly tell him that, no Billy no harrasing women isnt sexy, you arent quirky, you are mentally ill

"Y/n i killed that bitch that was gossiping about you 🧍 " "👍good for you billy im glad you found healthy way to cope with that negative emotion😇" "on god"

His whole moral compass is created around the simple question 'does it hurt y/n?' .1:no it doesnt so feel free to do it .2 do not do it, she will ban Billy from sweets (bad ending)

The man from hush

This guy. This dude. This Little gremlin. He is upset that he gets no reaction! Like please oh please act all angy when he 'acidently' shot tire in her car! But oh no ofc no, she had to be like "oh its okay honey i have backup in garage🥰" hes like HHUH SINCE WHEN WE HAVE GARAGE

Like tbh thats how i imagine how they met: he saw her, he wanted to hunt her, she was so chill that she didnt even leave her household while the power was off and he went inside and just saw her having lil nap on couch. 🧍🤨erm exuse me gurl im trying to roleplay epic hunter here tf

He probably kidnaped her cuz she was too weird to just kill her but he didnt want to risk her calling police. He probably tied her up and yeeted her on backseats. And then she begun judging music on the radio"yo big guy can i get some good music taste?" "What? Whats wrong with Taylor Swift?"

He will overshare everything to kinda check where is her limit if it comes to being chill "yeah so i killed this old lady.." "im sure you had good reason🥰" "🤨... anyways... yeah so i was drinking some redbull when some guy said i look ugly so i shoot his head off and-" "HEY HEY hold up geez you CANT drink Energy drinks?? Bestie you know it is unhealthy?? Also you like hunt for sport it will ruin your condition!? How you gonna shoot people with shakey hands?? You crazy or something?" "Damn😔"

Micheal myers

I tried to put him here but i realised he will be as chill as her.

Like he can give her gifts covered in blood and she' just going to clean it and wear it like nothing happened or completley ignore it

He cares about this stuff as much as y/n so like not at all. I mean tbh theres is a bit of difrence: shes at least positive about it! Like "yeah micheal go for it, love🥰😇 i know its hard to cope with trauma take it all out alr?" Shes trying to be a good supporting gf not her fault she never had serial killer bf!

Brahms Heelshire

He lives for attention! What do you mean the war crime he commited this lunch break is okay!?!? Baby pleasee

But this negativity disapears the moment he realised he can get a lot of positive attention when he will do some nice stuff! "Oh honey I didnt kill any rats today" "oh that's amazing brahms I'm sure you and the rats inside walls will get along well soon🥰" (rats in walls bully brahms)

Please complement him or he will get a tantrum and destroy something

Brahms and rats have very hard past i might do seperate hc about that

Ghostface

"Look babe! My newest victim *shows photo*" "ugh baby...😰 you NEED to buy new camera or watch some youtube tutorials about how to take good photos" "aw man whats wrong with my pictures 😔"

Otherwise y/n supports his hobbies! People need to grow😇 (and he needs to grow up)

If theres 2ghostfaces(like in most movies) they will bet money on how long you gonna keep this 'do whatever as long as youre happy' act. Well they didnt know that this wasnt an act but her personality

Also they will probably try to use this chillnes aginst her like "oooh y/n something terrible happened! I crushed my car oh what will i do!" "Alr bestie i will drive you over there😇" "😈omg you are so nice i totally didnt expect that(heheh i dont need to pay for gas today (hes very evil))

[blucactus112]

May never come to reality but im planning out a Animatic to AJR's 'Maybe Man' (sue me) and need some help filling in some of the parts.

(Its probably going to be about all the life series in general not specifically Wild life. but feel free to try it fit it all in one series)

!!!long post incoming!!!

General plan so far:

First Half(ish) will be calmly looking at hermits in their peaceful habitats talking about their insecurities.

Finishing the first half when we get to the god part it will be Grian before life series started pleading to watchers and becoming one himself then cutting to him and all the other lifers standing around in a circle (like the start of each series) (much wow)

ONE. TWO. PANDEMONIUM.

murder, just all of the scenes of people dying biggest polt twist, betrayals, and Amount of kills.

Also specifically a close up of grain seeing the server burning in the reflection of his eyes.

ending with another shot of the beginning of a server but we see grains eyes which are weathered and worn out and maybe has some watcher purple

Specific Lines:

Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal But I'd miss the way we make up and smile Don't want to be stone, I changed my mind

Im thinking scar and Grian Desert Duo? also could be

I wish I had eyes in the back of my head Then I could see the places I've been But then I would know that you're talkin' shit I don't wanna know what my friends think

This im Deff thinking cleo bigb scott and lizzie from the Boogeyman series (i forgor wich one that is)

but open to other ideas

Wish I were my dog out on the lawn I'd be so glad when I hear you come home But if I were my dog, I wouldn't live long I'm sure gonna miss her when she's gone

This is pearl playing with a dog, you cannot fucking make me change my mind

I wish I could act in a show on TV 'Cause then I could practice not bein' me I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel But you won't believe me when I cry for real

im either thinking like Ren or Martyn because of the acting thing or one of the scenes usually portrayed as lots of crying (ie Scott at the end of double life)

I wish that my brain would triple in size I'd nail every joke, I'd win every fight But I'd get too deep with that kind of mind I don't wanna know the point of life

ive been thinking of this as jimmy in general but also i dont want to be mean so other ideas would be great

In some other life I would be rich I'd travel in style, I'd cover the bill But couldn't complain 'bout anything small Nobody'd feel bad for me at all

havent given much thought for ones after this but im thinking Scar on Magic mountain trying to scam everyone?

If I was cocaine or a bottle of Jack I'd get invited to every frat But when you get old and your good days have passed You'll only want me when you're sad

have there been any people that bounce between alliances during one series?

Wish I was a song, your favorite one You'd follow the dance to me at your prom I would be there when your baby is born For two or three minutes, then I'm gone

there was at least one dande floor that was a trap, right??

I wish I was big, as big as my house I'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowd But I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couch God, I could really use him now

probably ep1 of WildLife

I wish I was God, I'd never trip up And if I did, well, so fuckin' what? I could be cruel and break all your stuff Yeah, I'd be loved no matter what

pov grain angst

grain is on super windy mountain top surrounded by watchers crying, pleading to them

But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird 'Cause you would only say what I wanna hear And then you would die, you'd love me to death I never know who the hell I am

grian is surrounded by purple light wings and eyes becoming at least in part, a watcher

I wish I was me, whoever that is I could just be and not give a shit Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan 'Cause I don't know who the hell I am

cut to peaceful tranquil plains, all of them jn a circle at beginning of life series laughing joking shaking hands hugging (set em up for emotional damage)

One, two, pandemonium

black, black, PAN DE MONIUM

cut to destruction of server only using reds browns and blacks showing carnage this series has brought (and yes ofc player has died messages will appear in the corner as if in chat)

One, two, pandemonium

im thinking each line will be each of the series in chronological order

Here I go again

One, two, pandemonium

Here I go again

One, two, pandemonium

One, two-

Here I go again

cut to beginning of ?wild life? they all have scars when their final kills have been, some look tired some look determined

if you end up making this animatic if you want to put me in the credits as like 'inspired by' :3 but honestly idc that much. but you HAVE to tell me if you post one bc i will watch the hell out of that

#god i need more tags

[shygirl4991]

Mini Arc

wow alright here we are never thought i be sitting here writing my thoughts on the mini arc in public but i feel it needs to be talked about. The mini arc was bad and mess along with being so rushed. We have a lot of build up on how scary mr puzzle is, there was a whole mystery i felt the build up was amazing but after the movie puzzle vision we sank hard. He isnt scary and every time they go oooo its gonna be a spooky one well its not its just super goofy and nothing like they advertise These are just my thoughts personally on how this mini arc went your all free to enjoy the arc and such im not here to tell you what to like.

ONE HE RETURNED TO SOON while there was hints that mr puzzle wasn't defeated at the end of the movie let it cook, they hinted on twitter he be back way to soon. Not to mention no build up for his return just hey mario found him, but like shouldn't Mario be aware of what Puzzle head looks like? Shouldn't we have characters get over what just happen with the movie, we move past that so fast. TWO WHAT IS THE PLOT? There was nothing done with Puzzle the whole time he showed up and vanish till for some weird reason smg4 made the meme factory. Which why the hell does he need that? He is a youtuber and doesn't need people to come visit the grounds. Are we also not gonna talk how SMG4 just used Meggy when she got turned into Leggy ALL THEY HAD TO DO TO FIX HER WAS A MUSHROOM?!?!

With all the questions we already have i feel we should focus on those mystery's or have mr puzzle pretend to be the good guy then back stab them for the comedy zone. It just felt all to sudden and random that i have no idea what the hell just happen? At least i guessed that you can turn views into stars with shadow vision (when you guess things in the series by writing fan fiction lol weird)

THREE QUESTIONS WE HAVE IN THE AIR

how did pv get a eldritch keyboard when he cant do powerful things without five stars?

how did he get the VR stuff to trap the crew for weeks in this world for wren?

Is there a reason PV wanted smg4 to buy the showgrounds?

whats the deal with that sealed up door?

will the second floor ever be done?

what is the point of clench?

What happen to his motivation of being an entertainer? ( like it just changed to rule the world? or maybe get revenge on mario?)

What is channel 999?

what is the tv world and the hell is pv powers?!

why do the leggys multiply?

why is mr puzzle being force to have a change of heart so soon because of leggy?

mr puzzle could have a change of heart but again it felt to rush.

idk i just feel the writers didnt know where to take this mini arc since we already have so much build. Hell we dont even talk that Peach is a eldritch monster, we just ignore the pit for now i guess? Any who that was my ted talk thank you for ready <3

[stealingpotatoes]

Invitation to talk about Sayuri and Nymie?

:D CAN OF WORMS: OPENED!! i'll tell u abt how they got found as Jedi

ok so Sayuri is one of the students that doesn't rlly go home bc there isn't much to go back to. Basically her parents were Rebellion pilots (or one was a pilot the other a mechanic. kinda unsure) but were both killed in action against the Empire abt 3-4ABY ish. obvs the Rebellion couldn't look after a 7-8yo while fighting the Empire

so the remainder of the squad manage to get her back to her parents' home village/ where she was born. so having like Everything change all at once leaves her pretty ?? and gives her some serious trusting-her-environment issues. her coolgirl "i dont care" persona is very much a result of this bc she's worried abt getting too comfy in smthn. (which is at odds w the OTHER issue she got from this event which is "deathly afraid of flying" an issue not helped if Master "traffic laws are just guidelines" Skywalker is piloting. but she tries 2 act like shes fine)

this is gonna get kinda long so im gonna smack some unposted art here and then go into a readmore

anyway fast forwarding to when Sayuri's abt 13 (roughly 9aby) she's visiting her parent's old squadron on a New Republic bc they'd all come visit whenever she could and after the Empire's fall they did a lot more pick her up and fly her to a base to ALL see her. and they're like omg Sayuri you came at the PERFECT time bc this rlly amazing pilot war hero who's also some like. mystical whatever is here!! he's on his way to some magic place we heard. maybe u can meet him!! which sayuri meets w her usual whatever bc she's not that gassed abt war heroes.

very worth noting that the squad's probably all seen her move shit with her mind, but theyre like oh you know how it is with teenage girls. the "nobody knows what a jedi is" + "the empire existed for a decent bit of her childhood" thing has kept anyone from being like yeahh sayuri should like. talk to someone abt this.

anyway she goes along when the squad are like c'mon let's see if we can see him. ok the only way i can describe this is you know the spiderverse like... spidey-sense recognition thing? that's basically what happens LOL Luke and Sayuri both have a FORCE USER RECOGNISED?? moment and Luke then makes a beeline for her then realises oh shit tiny teenager not jedi. would you LIKE to be a jedi?? and sayuri who hates her village and is feeling the strongest emotional connection she's felt in forever w this stranger she met 2 seconds ago is like okay fuckin sure yeah. and woo jedi!!

i posted my unposted nymie art yesterday but likkeeee pretend theres some here <3

So Sayuri falls into the "one of the Jedi found them thru the force or by chance" category of students who get found. However Nymie very much falls into the second category, which is "CAN SOMEONE DEAL WITH THIS WEIRD SUPERPOWERED CHILD FOR US????"

So 2 things about Nymie: 1. like i've said before, she's from a very rich high class pantoran family. super stuck up, mostly raised by nannies & tutors, but somehow Nymie just didn't get the stuck-up genes like all her (4!!) siblings who are just obsessed w their social standing etc and is instead just :D all the time. 2. her proficiency ig is the living force esp in the 'good at connecting to animals' way (which I think means I legally need to draw her w Ezra).

so the former often led her to escaping her family's stuffy parties and galas or whatever (usually to whoever's house it is' garden or somewhere she wasnt meant to be) to find something interesting. usually a pet <3 one particular time when she was 9 she was following her Pet Sense but couldnt find anything in the house. so she kinda just reached out more and long story short thats how Nymie managed to call this hugemassive beast (i'd tell u what it was if i knew pantoran animals LOL) out of the nearby countryside to her. massively distressing for everyone, all these rich ppl were like "OH MY GOD I NEARLY DIED" (it didnt attack anyone). very funny exciting time for Nymie who was enjoying this new beastie friend til animal control showed up. saddening. everyone is confused bc HOW did that happen

a dude old (and cool) enough to have seen more than one jedi in their heyday (+ idk uni researcher knows his shit) noticed what happened w it going straight to Nymie and overheard her account and realised what happened and was like hi nymie's parents. i think u need to get into contact w the new republic bc thats a jedi right there (which they take and go oo social climbing. we have a jedi child people will think we're cooler. bc theyre assholes)

and yeah im losing steam now but luke shows up and she joins the academyyay!

[charmedbystars]

you don't get it (e-1610 miles morales)

pairing: e-1610 miles x reader (unrequited)

summary: you try to understand miles, but you cant.

a/n: this is the first time i try writing something so i'm so sorry if it's bad. plz leave suggestions and stuff if ya want! also debating a part 2 but i hate this sooo i don't know yet...

you and miles grew up together. making an oath to stick together for the rest of your lives in the sandbox of a park about two blocks from miles’ apartment. and you guys sure stuck to that oath. from crying about getting sand in each other’s eyes, going through the awkward teenage phase (and miles still going through it), to being accepted into the same school. you guys were inseparable. 

recently, you found out about miles’ secret vigilante identity. you didn’t take it very well and constantly scolded miles about his safety, but you were glad he chose to trust you. 

of course, when it came to trust it came with knowing other stuff too… such as knowing who gwen was. and to make it even better, since you were the only person (other than ganke) that he can go on to talk about her, you became a victim of listening to the constant babble of gwen this and gwen that. you literally didn’t know how much longer you can take it, especially with those feelings of yours bubbling in your stomach. 

of course… how cliché of you to be in love with your best friend of years. plus your best friend being the super oblivious miles did not make it any better. 

anyways going back, you didn’t know how to tell miles that you’re in love with him without ruining your years of friendship or how to just simply ask him to shut the fuck up about gwen without hurting his feelings. you literally didn’t know how he could talk about her for hours without getting tired (although if someone asked you about miles, you would go on for ages, but that’s different) and the number of times you’ve caught him sketching her in his journal has become freaky. 

you love miles but this is just getting tiring. you want things to be how they were. when you guys would sneak up to the roof and talk about the stars or sneak out to do some graffiti. now it’s just cancelled plans, late texts backs, and constant excuses. and that’s how you are now, sitting outside the steps of miles’ apartment waiting for him to arrive with the cakes for his dad’s promotion party. you look down at your phone and open it again to see if he responded.

you: hey miles im outside waiting 4 you

you: dont forget the cakes and stay safe

you: lemme know when you arrive plz

Delivered 

you sighed for the twentieth time, wondering when miles was going to arrive. you just sat outside on the steps to his apartment when about ten minutes later you hear a crash. you stand and squint looking up. 

“y/n! come upstairs so we can enter the rooftop together,” there was miles, head handing outside his window. you nodded your head and headed upstairs to his apartment. you didn’t even bother knocking and simply just barging into his house. walking into his room, you see miles rushing to get his shoes on. 

leaning against the wall, you stared down at miles, “so what was it this time? it better be good enough that you’re late to your own father’s party��

“yes i knowww, i just got caught up doing some stuff. the villian today was super weird though and then i almost lost the cakes, but you know what? none of that matters because i’m here now!” he gave you one of his wide smiles.

you couldn’t stay serious with him when you gave you that smile. you yourself cracked a smile, shaking your head. “okay, noted. crazy day for spiderman, now hurry up and get your shoes on faster because one more minute longer and your mom is gonna freak.”

“well seems like my mom is already freaking,” miles smugly looked at you while standing up, grabbing the cakes and leaving you behind. you grumbled and just followed behind him. 

arriving to the rooftop, you can already see miles’ mom looking around and as if she sensed miles, she quickly walked over to you guys. 

“miles donde estabas? you’re late to your own dad’s party? y/n thank you so much for getting miles here,” miles’ brows furrowed as his mom gave you all the glory for him being there.

“mom what? i got here just fine!” 

“no, thank y/n because i know she’s the responsible one out of the two of you,” you gave miles the same smug look that he gave you earlier and tilted your head a little higher.

“anyways, grab something to eat. miles, ven porque your dad and i want to talk to you for a minute” rio gave her son a look. 

you simply nodded your head and strolled off to make yourself a plate. sitting down on a bench somewhere, you tried to block out and avert your gaze from miles’ parents yelling at him. you felt bad that you couldn’t do anything especially when you know so much about him that others don’t understand. 

about an hour has passed since miles’ scolding and you didn’t want to approach him directly after to save him from embarrassment and allow him to take a few minutes to himself. you assumed that he went to his room and would come back in a couple minutes because you knew he wouldn’t completely miss his dad’s party. 

you engaged in small conversations with miles’ cousins and family members, but after a while they left to go eat or do their own thing. resorting to scrolling through your phone and watching a couple tiktoks when you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“mija, quien es esa que esta arriba con miles?” rio tilted her head in the direction where miles was. surprising you completely, miles was on the water tower with gwen laughing and nudging each other. looking and them and snapping your head back to rio who seemed a but agitated with her eyebrows quirked up. 

“uhh.. i think that’s gwanda? one of miles’ friends but she’s usually out of town. miles’ never mentioned her coming though…” you simply shrugged your shoulders. feeling a heavy weight in your stomach, you tried not to look over at them again. 

approaching behind rio was jeff. he had a similar expression as rio, brows furrowed and scratching his head. 

“she looks old enough to vote… and i bet she doesn’t even speak spanish,” rio kept talking about gwen which didn’t help you trying to block out the sinking feeling. jeff crossed his arms and kept looking over at them. 

somehow, rio convinced you and jeff to go up to the water tower and meet gwen. now, you’ve never met gwen but you sure have heard enough about her to know that she’s not a bad person. 

rio was stumbling to get up the tower and introduce herself to gwen. crashing into miles slightly, not caring a bit if she interrupted anything. “hello! i’m miles’ mom,”

“rio! i’ve heard so much about you!” immediately hearing those words come out of gwen’s mouth, you winced. you knew that rio was not about having first name bases with any one of miles’ friends. you glanced over at miles’ expression who seemed a bit worried. 

looking at the interaction was a bit odd and very awkward, especially with you standing next to miles’ parents doing nothing. you didn’t want to make a move to introduce yourself either, you didn’t know if there was anything for you to say really. honestly rio’s jokes weren’t making it any better either. hearing “don’t take him from me.. oh! you can’t cause he’s grounded haha” and “don’t break his heart” coming from rio’s mouth was just making you want to get bitten by a spider so you can turn invisible in that moment. 

gwen trying to escape the moment made up that she needed to get her steps in and go. turning around to give miles a handshake, she glanced over, noticing you in the corner. not wanting to be rude, you just gave a wave. she gave you a small smile until taking off down the stairs. 

once she left, jeff also left to return to the party leaving miles, rio, and you behind. miles ignored both of your presence and leaned against the railing, shoving his face into his hands. you went up to miles and rubbed his back.

“i’m sorry miles,” he glanced over at you and gave a sigh. you looked over you shoulder and looked at rio. she seemed to be thinking. deciding to give miles and his mom a little time to talk, heart to heart, you descended down the stairs. 

looking down at the city below you, millions of thoughts run through your mind. almost all of them being about miles. you wanted to help him, you wanted to be there for him in every way, but you just don’t seem enough. you didn’t know what to do and you don’t want to try to seem understanding when you have absolutely no idea what he’s going through. you just want him to feel at peace with you. there’s nothing you want more in the world than seeing miles happy. although the feeling in your stomach of knowing that miles’ happiness lies with gwen and not with you just made you nauseous, you knew you had to let him go. but, before you let him go… maybe you’ll try. 

seeing miles and his mom done talking, you see miles about to leave. getting a feel of adrenaline through your veins, you ran after him before he managed to take a step down the stairs. 

“miles! where are you going?” you cocked your head to the side.

“i’m going after gwen. there’s something going on and i’m going to follow after her,” he tapped his feet and glanced around as if he’s if a rush. 

“wait, miles what? you’re leaving? do you even know where you’re going?” 

“no, but i know that i’m needed y/n. i gotta go now like i have this feeling.” 

“wait so you’re skipping out on your dad’s celebration for a girl?”

“n- no! there’s something going on and i need to fix it” miles was starting to squirm eager to put on his suit and swing through the city.

“is there gonna be a day where you live for yourself? i understand that you’re spiderman and you help out the people, but you can’t be doing this constantly miles. you’re a highschool student and have so m-” 

“no, you don’t understand! no one understands! but there are people out there who will-”

“c’mon miles, don’t be like that. i know i don’t exactly understand because i was bitten by a spider or anything, but i’m trying to understand through you and being there for you!” the tone in your voice starts getting a bit higher.

“i just learned that there’s a way for me to see other people who are just like me! i need to go!”

“you know what miles? go. i’m trying so hard to be supportive but-”

“well you’re not. i don’t want to escalate this any farther. i’m going… bye y/n” before you could respond miles ran down the stairs leaving you with a lump in your throat. you didn’t want to start anything, you just wanted miles to try to get a piece of normality within his crazy spider life. 

sighing once more, you decided to sit on the ledge and look off into the distance wondering how you were gonna fix it between you two. 

[romainlettusdinnerparty]

hi i just finished heartstopper and am having 5 million thoughts and am determined to get them all off of my chest 🫡

1. genuinely hilarious to me how all the promo for this season was about it being “raunchy” and “horny” while this is like some of the least horny sex ive ever seen on tv (not necessarily bad and also pretty expected,, just the juxtaposition of how the actors spoke about vs the reality of the show makes me giggle a little like why are these 20 something’s so adorably amused by this lmao)

2. im obsessed with tao. i think will gao might be the best actor on this show. this is a cringy little show and if youre gonna watch it you have to acknowledge that and embrace it and sometime you Will Cringe but!! will gao somehow is so authentic with tao’s cringyness its never actually cringe worthy?? i have absolutely no way to put this into words i simply Adore him. he kinda feels reminiscent of donald glover as troy barns in this way somehow idk if that makes sense

3. i am also obsessed with imogen. riah noorwood’s physicality is actually fucking brilliant to me. like this girl was raised in the theatre it is so obvious and i love her for it so so much. her face is so expressive and BODY just like is twice as expressive?? like wtf are you drinking girl?? im in love with her and her giant giant eyes.

4. where heartstopper kinda loses me sometimes is the language? and not just cuz they say weird little british things cuz their weird and british but more in the way of how they verbalize their experiences with queerness. like it is always very clear, very straight to the point, very labeled. i feel like this most often comes up with isac and asexuality, darcy and being non-binary, and elle talking about dysphoria. it just feels unrealistic in a way that takes me out of it. like we are taking a moment to pause, turn to the audience, define this experience in exact terms, and then come back to the actual emotion of it. and i dont really know how i feel about it tbh? like in someways it is important and necessary and a part of good representation is the audience being aware of what you are representing. but i often do feel like this need for very specific, completely defined, clearly stated representation takes away from the humanity of it? gonna bring this back to stranger things for a moment: take will and jonathan in the pizza freezer. this is essentially a coming out scene but it is beautifully subtle and true to the character’s and the way they would react and express themselves in this moment. i do not think the scene would have been made better if will had to explicitly state he was gay for jonathan to understand him. and maybe thats really the crux of this: i feel like the goal of using this specific terminology is all in favor of the Audience Understanding not the character who they are speaking to. i think a lot of queer people, even intermingling identities like sexuality and gender, will kinda be able to just pick up on things? without having to spell them out? and at least in my experience, most people find the spelling out to be the worst part - wishing someone would get it without having to volunteer the actual language. so when a character immediately starts using the agreed upon label, not coaxed out of them, not reluctantly, not as a Thing, just as a “this is how i view this and want to say it” feels kinda unauthentic - at least to my experience. and weirdly enough, in my experience, those labels are super helpful! i love a box! huge fan! but in casual conversation? not so much. in conclusion, i would much rather have elle talk about what her dysphoria being triggered felt like, have tao understand what that means for her and her identity of being trans and her relationship with that identity, rather than just knowing that tao and elle both know what gender dysphoria is.

5. back to imogen: they did a great job with her. that scene with nick and saying she might have never liked a boy? perfection. they did not have to say the word comphet for me to get it. ive been there. we Get it. the labels and ,,, i almost wanna say therapy speak? almost feel like its to hold the hand of the straight audience. those who might Not intrinsically Get It. and thats ok, just as a queer viewer it takes me out of it sometimes :/

6. nick’s friendships with lesbians are my favorite thing in the whole entire world!!! him and TARA??? omfg i love love LOVE tara!! and ofc him and imogen,,, theyre just so precious to me!!!! my absolute favorite arc in general for nick is him finding his community - his queer community. like we see he is so lacking in good friends in season one, (absolute favorite moment of that season, and has been since i first saw it, is after nick comes out to tara and darcy and them and him and charlie are all texting about getting tao and elle together and darcy says something along the lines of “we’re all such meddling gays i love it” and we get a focus shot on nick’s face and he just looks so fucking happy to be apart of it!! a part of the “meddling gays”. like just so readily and without exception accepted into this community in a way that is not just made of tragedy, its a bit goofy!! its a bit silly even!!) people who he has things in common with and actually likes and who like Him not just for being cool and on the rugby team with them, to now him having this absolutely lovely community of friends who love and care about him is so precious to me. and him having the best time at the school he visits because of the community he can see there!! like ill die. this is my favorite part of this show forever.

7. goddd i had so many thoughts about eating disorders while watching this and im in such a different place in my life than when i first read this plot line in the comics but im a little like… idk i was just thinking about how i think almost every single girl or afab person ik has experienced some type of eating disorder or disordered eating or like - i just know no women with a good relationship to food i dont think. and im sitting here going - was this not taken seriously, IS this not taken seriously, Because it has to do with body image? because its not specifically linked to control or symptoms of OCD (not saying that girls/ afab people dont have disordered eating because of those things too but i think you would be hard pressed to find someone where its not at least a little linked to body image and female beauty standards) and instead just viewed as the typical “girlhood” experience? like this is just what growing up as a woman looks like. not a critique of the show, i just wonder if charlie was a girl, and had anorexia because he wanted to be skinny, would this ever be an actual plot point? or would this just be a truth of the female experience? Unextraordinary.

8. still think its so funny how unsexy the sex was. like ill never get over the way nick called charlie hot at the end there it just like?? encouraging?? he was not turned on. idk it was on brand but goooofy to me!!!

the end.

[crushedsweets]

can you tell us more about what Ben's life was like before his death?? (family, friends, and so on)(and what happened to them after his death bc oh sweet sweet angst)

ben was my gateway into creepypasta and i am living for your content of him (and your cp content in general) 😭🙏🏻

i havent thought TOO deeply about this actually!! so im gonna just spout what i HAVE thought about and see what i can build while im here!

as per usual, everything is in my AU; Creeped! info in my pinned if curious. CW in this post for murder, suicide, violence, the usual

ok. from the get-go i knew ben was gonna be an only child living in the suburbs. his parents would be pretty average folks, maybe his dad is a plumber and his mom is a secretary at a dentists office . . . he's a little spoiled, considering he's an only child. doesnt do chores, always getting electronics for holidays, most of his meals are made for him. i imagine his grandparents spoil him even more, as he's their only grandkid - something about him screams no cousins either... HES GOT NOBODYYY

i specifically imagine him living in a neighborhood like this. but with tons of toys hanging out on the lawn from when he was young and his parents are too lazy/busy to toss them. all rotting under the sun cuz hes stuck inside on his games

i imagine i has a small circle of friends at school... the type to go ride bikes after school to the corner store, buy hella soda and snacks, then ride home to go play video games.

he's def a bit dorky/geeky and doesnt have a lot of friends, just hangs around at school trading pokemon cards and failing his math tests and eating cheetos.

i think ben wouldve been 'just' missing for a while, but i think that his parents would have lost their minds. organized massive search parties, gone door to door with photos of ben pleading with everyone.

its fucked up but. im thinking. bens mom knocks on the door of the man who killed ben. the man is weird, a recluse, visibly uncomfortable the second he sees her face - she's been all over the news begging for ben to come home, after all. and theres a stench, and everything about this house is just Off and dirty and gross, and the entry way has a pile of boots and slippers and sandals just sitting around - all belonging to the man - but she notices a pair of awfully familiar sneakers.

i think it would be upsetting if she saw the shoes that she bought for ben, began to stammer, the man noticed, and he goes to attack her. she screams and freaks out and barely manages to get away, the man is freaking out and gets in his truck and goes to drive off, huge police-chase ensues, and the cops raid his house. i think the man would shoot himself before the cops could get him, something that would destroy bens family to no end.

while going through his house for evidence, theyd find ben's rotting corpse in the tub - dressed up in the link gear - alongside the majoras mask catridge. and theyd begin to find other remains around the house, all belonging to missing blonde teens around the county/state.

i think its obvious the sort of turmoil and strain this would have on his family(parents+grandparents), but it would be really tough on his friends too. theyre all freshmen in highschool and there would be a ton of rumors, distasteful jokes, etc at Ben's expense - partially from his own friends not knowing how to cope, partially from strangers.

and i dont think ben would be able to witness any of this grief as its happening. OBVIOUSLY he's dead, but his spirit is trapped in the same majoras mask cartridge that ends up getting stuck in evidence.

i think he'd eventually go back to watch all the interviews, news recordings, etc that he can find. and i think he'd try to pretend it doesnt bug him. he's so beyond shitty with his emotions, even as a human - super quick to make a joke out of everything, laugh it all off, in fear of being a 'pussy' or being vulnerable or getting made fun of. cuz he was the type to make fun of other boys for the same stuff. so yk. but the outlet he'd use for his emotions would be hurting people. tormenting, 'trolling', cyberbullying, haunting people all around the nation and driving them to murder, suicide, other things. generally being Evil and thinking its all just a joke. he cant take anything serious

i dont think he'd talk about his family to the creeps. and looking at him, nobody has a damn clue who he is or why he's like That. but he'd accidentally let his last name slip in a random convo, someone would be nosy enough to google it, and the news would quickly spread around the creeps and proxies who know him. not that theyd try and address it or something, but it would 100% leave everyone a little bit like. Oh. That's really sad. esp cuz they all thought he was just an annoying little asshole

[lexithwrites]

Pls prongsfoot.

I am on my knees. Begging.

Pls!!

im just gonna write basic prongsfoot and not sugar daddy au prongsfoot incase this isnt about that,,,,enjoy!

i love the idea of sirius and james growing up together, like they went to the same preschool and begged their parents to hang out every day and they both cry when they have to go home

they also go to the same primary school and BEG to go to the same secondary school and of course they got their way, their parents weren't about to deal with the fallout of separating them

their school life is similar to hogwarts, they meet remus and peter and they're THE group, like they're nerds and play DND but also play football and are great with the teachers and their grades are good too and they're always up to some shit

but james and sirius have always been a little closer, not to the point of jealousy in the group but just,,,its different

james isn't super sure of his sexuality in secondary school but sirius is like,,handsome and pretty somehow? he likes girls, lily evans is still the hottest girl in school and his first crush, but sirius is,,,there's something about him

sirius knew he was bi since forever lmao he's dated guys and girls but nothing has ever really been 'love' for him, at least not yet

he loves james though, obviously, he's always loved james how could he not? he's handsome and funny and smart and charming and tall and—

they're each others first kiss at a house party in year 10, its awkward and they're drunk and outside in the garden trying cigarettes for the first time and its,,,nice?

james finally dates lily in sixth form and they're the school's it couple for months, they are really cute together and they're affectionate and they're both top of their classes, lily is the school's netball team captain and james is the football captain, its great

and then lily breaks down in their last year crying because she thinks she might be gay and she's been so scared to tell james and hurt him but he's the most supportive guy about it

he cries with her because he feels awful for making her feel bad about it

of course he's upset, he really loved lily and always will, but if it isnt meant to be, it isnt meant to be (he cries to monty and effie for a few weeks before finally coming out of hiding and he and lily stay close, james even helps set her up with girls when she's too nervous)

when sirius finds out he basically runs to james' house, he's so worried about his best friend and his heart is hammering in his chest and when he gets there they talk about everything and james cries a little, lily was his first crush, first love, first girlfriend, he lost his virginity to her, she's a huge part of his life and his story

and sirius feels awful because he's happy james is single...because maybe he has a chance?

sirius kisses him and its bad,,,james reels. back, he's so confused and upset and so is sirius and sirius goes home and they dont talk for like two weeks, its awful

peter and remus are awkwardly talking as the other two are silent until peter breaks and begs them to just stop the petty arguing and talk because they're best friends and this is weird, remus quietly agrees and tells them to grow some balls and talk about their feelings like men

sirius apologises for kissing him, smoking a cigarette outside the bike sheds as james kicks stones around and its awkward for sure but they make up

and james is slowly back to his old self after the break up, he and lily hang out and everything is okay, but sirius is,,,james feels different about him

he's more handsome than ever, more charismatic, he was always like this??

and james realises he fancies him and he whines to remus about it and remus, the very gay man that he is, just tells james to tell him

silly remus

james instead just tries to hang out with sirius like its normal, even after they finish sixth form and look for uni's to apply too together james is looking at sirius' lips, his fingers, his hair, his ass, his chest, everything

he's just,,,,gorgeous

and then their first week of uni happens, freshers is underway and remus is down from edinburgh and peter is back from holiday and they all go out drinking with their new flatmates and classmates and its great,,,then james sees sirius chatting a girl up and his heart breaks

james tries to drink it away but that wont work so he just huffs at sirius and drags him to the toilets to yell at him for flirting with someone and sirius is SO confused because why does james care then it slowly sinks in and as james is yelling and nearly crying, admitting that he wants sirius to flirt with HIM and ONLY him, sirius just grabs him and kisses him, dragging him into a stall and locking it

its so heavy and hot and passionate and everything they wanted and needed and maybe they jerk each other off in the bathroom, whose to say? but they come out red faced and with messy clothes and they're both grinning because god theyre idiots but they're each others idiots

[manicplank]

i went through your blog and realized not only you already had sleep headcanons but also i LIKED it im sorry i have an awful memory ouauayghh

you dont have to do it if you dont wanna kwhekej

That's okay! I also have memory issues and had to look up whether or not I did one already. BUT, for you, I'll do

SLEEP HEADCANONS PART 2

Peppino: Heavy sleeper. Can sleep anywhere. Often falls asleep in his chair at home while he's watching TV. Has fallen asleep at the counter of the pizzeria. He's the kind of person to start sleeping in a neatly made bed just to end up with pillows and blankets on the floor.

Gustavo: Normal sleeper. Dreams a lot. Had a full-size bed that he was comfortable in... until he got Brick. Had to upgrade to a queen. Sleeps better now that he has Brick. Sleeps like a normal person blanket and pillow wise. Occasionally gets knocked out of bed by Brick.

Brick: BEDHOG. Warm. Sleeps in loaf position or all curled up. Loves to snuggle up to Gustavo. Occasionally squeaks in his sleep.

Mr. Stick: Sleeps like a dead ant. Light sleeper. Might grumble in his sleep every now and again. Doesn't have to set alarms because he's on a decent schedule.

Pepperman: Deep sleeper. Surrounds himself with pillows so he doesn't roll off the bed. Tries to paint his dreams but usually forgets them by the time he wakes up.

The Vigilante: Deep sleeper. Can fall asleep I'm neutral position. Sometimes falls asleep at the saloon with his boots kicked up on the counter and his hat over his eyes. Often takes old man naps. Melts when he sleeps long.

The Noise: Either sleeps super deep or super light. You know that meme about men being twitchy in their sleep? That's him. Occasionally groans in his sleep, very rarely talks. Denies it, but he almost always snuggles up to Noisette or sleeps on her shoulder. Sleeps with several pillows despite mainly using Noisette as one. Curls up in fetal position, covers himself with the blanket all the way up to his ears. That's what he calls his "cocoon." (Blanket hog.)

Noisette: DEEP SLEEPER. Could sleep through a tornado. Sometimes talks in her sleep. Sleeps with plushies around her. Drools if she dreams about food. Has absolutely drooled on Noise's head before. Has to push Noise off her shoulder because it gets sore. Starts sleeping under the blanket but wakes up to Noise hogging it.

Fake Peppino: Sleeps really weirdly. Sleeps deep, but in weird positions. Might sleep like a dead cockroach. Might sleep like a cat. Might sleep sprawled out like a starfish. Might just melt into a puddle. Can sleep anywhere at any time. Can also manage to stick to the wall or roof and sleep there.

Skipping Pizzaface bc he's robotic

Pizzahead: Sleeps lightly. Very neat sleeper, too. Hardly ever has to make his bed in the morning. Has plushes that he thinks are "secret" even though everybody has seen them. Probably wears a little hat and nightgown to bed. Sleeps like a princess.

Pillar John: DEEP SLEEPER, can sleep anywhere, any time. Always oversleeps. Does a lot of sleeping when he's bound in the tower. What else is he gonna do, go for a walk?? When he wasn't in the tower, he likes to sleep with lots of pillows. Doesn't sleep with a blanket because it always gets stuck under him.

Gerome: Light sleeper. Loses a lot of sleep because of it. Wishes he could sleep deeper. However, he can fall asleep anywhere. He can be seen sleeping sitting up in the tower canonically. I feel like he has chronic fatigue.

[ranposgirlboss]

~late night car drives with bsd charas~

this is an idea i got while listening to depressing vocaliod songs, SO HERE WE ARE!!! these are just some hc i have about how it would go, some charas are COMPLETELY platonic!! (this is mostly platonic in the 1st place tbh) this is my first time writing on this app, and i haven't written anything online in a few years, so if the formatting is weird, PLEASE TELL ME IDK WHAT IM DOIMNHG

chara list: dazai, chuuya, poe, ranpo, and yosano

GENRE: fluff fluff fluff and sillies

enjoy!!

-----------------------------

DAZAI

-HESSS DEEEEEFFF THE TYPE TO BRING YOU ON LATE-NIGHT DRIVES!!!!!

-he would probably be going to some weird ass convenience store with you at ungodly hours in the morning 💀

-HE EITHER SINGS THE MOST DEPRESSING SONGS OR THE MOST UPBEAT SILLY SONGS THERE IS LITERALLY NO IN BETWEEN

-i feel like he would mess with you and fucking drift the car when yall turn

-lets just say you get close to dying more then once 😁

-one time when yall tried to sneak out, kunikida caught yalls asses (your ears still hurt to this day from the mouthing off you got from kunikida)

-all in all, VERY FUN TO GO OUT WITH!!! WOULD RECOMMEND IF YOU WANT CHAOS!!!! OR IF YOU LIKE ALMOST DYING 10 TIMES IN 30 MINS <3333

CHUUYA

-ok so i know i said late night CAR rides BUT CMON WHO DOESNT WANNA RIDE A COOL ASS MOTORCYCLE WITH CHUUYA!??!?!?/1

-mf has HORRIBLE ROAD RAGE!!!

-i hc that when chuuya gets really pissed and the person is super rude to him, he fucking makes their car float...LIKE FULL ON 😭

-AND THEN HELL MAKE THEM SAY SORRY

-but other then his road rage, its honestly pretty chill

-i know that he has a BANGER playlist, I JUST KNOW IT

-i fell like he'd also play around on the motorcycle a bit, BUT AT LEAST HE WOULDNT NEARLY KILL YOU UNLIKE DAZAI (눈‸눈)

-id say its pretty nice and balanced, with enough calmness to make it enjoyable for the most part, but enough thrill to keep asking him to take you out <33

RANPO

-just gonna let you know right off the bat, his ass is NOT driving 😂

-there is a high chance that he JUST woke up and started banging on your door because he had cravings and well, he ran out of his snacks...so OBVIOUSLY he had to bang on your door, its important!!!

-and even if he was completely awake...he would get yall lost so fast

-so you were driving him

-honestly? its kinda funny to see groggy ranpo walk around and try to grab what snack he wants at the convenience store when he's barely awake

-bro literally drops the bag like 5 times (you picked it up all 5 bc you kinda pitied him rn 😭)

-he basically ends up sleep walking his ass outta there

-the ride is mostly quiet, mainly because ranpo falls asleep on the way back

-imagine if you played heavy metal and woke him up

POE

-HE WOULD DRIVE WITH YOU FREQUENTLY, DUE TO HIM BEING A NIGHT OWL

-these car rides would be so peaceful

-ngl he would probably sometimes take you out just to drive with you (its not like gas is a problem for him anyways 😭)

-HE HAS SUCH A GOOD PLAYLIST OF SONGS TO JUST SIT THERE AND DAYDREAM TO

-doesnt seem like a talker tbh, he might ask you if you want to go anywhere specific, but you guys mostly just listen to music together (he saves the story telling for another time <3)

-I FEEL LIKE HE WOULD MAKE A PLAYLIST THAT LIKE KIND OF HAS A STORY LINE SO IT WOULD BE SO FUN TO DAYDREAM TO THE SONGS CUZ YOU COULD CREATE YOUR OWN STORY TO THEM

-you hold karl in your lap and pet him like you're an evil villain (cannon)

-very calming and relaxing drive <33

YOSANO

-UGH IM SO GAY FOR HER

-ngl she kinda gives dazai vibes, in terms of playlist

-there has been more than one occasion when she just drunk-drove you

-LUCKILY YALL DONT DIE??!?!?!??! HOLY FUCK

-shes a small talker, OR A GOSSIPER WHILE YALL DRIVE

-yall just have so much fun talking about the ada and everything that's going on there <333

-would scream the lyrics to any 2010's throwback song, while having a (hopefully) safe dance party

-very fun to be around, and even though she drunk drives, shes def safer then dazai

-----------------------

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

PLEASE SEND ME REQS I BEG OF YOU

[tubbytarchia]

UM. NEW JIM STREAM. NEW SMP. I FEEL LIKE I MISSED AN ANNOUNCEMENT OR SOMETHING.

members are fwhip jimmy lizzie mog sausage oli rendog katherine pix shubble scott eloise zombiecleo. modded smp. stream only i think. fantasy themed.

he logs in and has to choose an origin. seems very dnd-esque? but ive never played dnd so. im guessing here.

he spends 10 minutes choosing just to settle on half elf. he gets to pick 2 skills so he picks quicker regen and most movements wont trigger sculk sensors.

he spawns in :D cleo is there :D but jim hasnt set up voice mod so. they dont talk yet. cleo just starts circling him and its really funny to me

HE GETS SET UP. cleos immediately like youre not small :( (her chat told her he would be) and he was like. well being small is fun for a stream and then it gets a bit annoying doesnt it. which i have Thoughts about

they spawned in like a tower thing. cleo goes down and dies instantly to a bunch of mobs. after cleo dies jimmy goes down and also dies instantly. theres some weird spawn protection thing going on meaning they literally cant beat the mobs

jimmy experiences Modded Minecraft and gets scared. why do his buttons do things. why is there things everywhere. his keybinds have been super messed up so hes having A Time

sausage died and cuz of voice mod he screamed and cut out immediately which is my favourite thing. the entire smp is a mess theres like a million mobs. ive never seen jimmy rage this hard at dying before

fwhip joins and he chose one of the small classes. jimmy starts making fun of him so fwhip crits him like 3 times. jimmy then steals fwhips wood and fwhip tries to kill him again.

it takes establishing that jimmys a half-elf and sausage is a high-elf before the elf superiority starts.

katherine joins and shes ALSO a half elf. sausage starts calling him their daddy. its been 20 minutes

jim and oli meet up (and katherine follows) and olis like. im gonna show you my secret if u give me 6 things. so jimmy gives him 6 things and turns out oli can. go invisible????? and jim and katherine are like :o and are surprised he didnt pick bard. olis like well i already did that. im a mushroom guy now. and takes off his armour to show his skin (he says something about it being similar to his larp outfit which is cool) and jimmys like whats with the glasses. and oli full on whines and goes JIMMMMMMMH :( theyre my mushroom glasses.

they both die within a minute of exploring. cant say its unexpected. they get their stuff back easily enough though

after talking to like everyone jim splits off. he finds a zombie playing bagpipes and i lost my shit

it just played folk music the entire time he was trying to kill it

meets up with everyone. they talk for a while but nothing super notable to be said

(jimmy got up to get a snack and the stream chat started talking to his chair. it made me giggle)

he got super fast shoes. everyone is jealous of him. bitches love him and his super fast shoes.

i look away for like 5 minutes and hes now. wearing a whoopee cushion on his head. and a crown!

jimmy and sausage beat up a boss and it drops a ring. sausage picks it up and asks jimmy to marry him. jimmy IMMEDIATELY rejects him. no hesitation

^ little chicken hat :) cleo has a little pig hat and they match and its really cute.

jimmy gets a big axe and is like omg its so big!! and cleo AND sausage immediately jump on like oh tell me how you got it so big jimmy. and hes like guys. guys please.

sausage gets an ancient gong with unreadable runes on it. he obviously hits it multiple times. nothing happens at least.

they find ren and he has a little sheep hat so now 3 of them are matching. sausage feels very left out.

jimmy and oli meet up. oli does a bit of being like.. the spirit of the forest. oli gives jim a sapling and jim gives oli an invisibility cape. oli ends the bit and comes back as himself. he has a bow on his lower back and jimmys like wow you have a bow on your back. oli calls his ass big and juicy. frowns

oli tries to hit jimmy like 20 times and its just not working. jimmy is invincible i think.

oli and jim go to a village and make a bit of stealing childrens lunch money. idk why but they are. it doesnt work.

they meet up with lizzie and oli does his "spirit of the forest" bit again. he starts to give lizzie a riddle and says "what is wet and long- and not dry-" then gets confused and just. doesnt finish it at all.

lizzie mentions jims large weapon. jimmy voice "nothings too big for me" oli voice "nothings too big for jim" why have 2 separate groups made the exact same joke.

lizzie crashes and oli calls her and it goes to voicemail and he leaves a message and he ends it with a bunch of chappell roan song names. when jimmy doesnt know what he means olis immediately like THIS GUY IS NOT AN ALLY.

^ like 5 minutes after that they kiss so.

jim gives lizzie an ocean necklace after she logs in again. crazy

oli and jim are potentially basing together. we MIGHT be back.

uhhhhh stream end :p double upload on sunday (one main channel one roblox channel) not sure if im gonna summarise all these streams if only bc i have. No Idea whats going on. i dont understand modded mc at all. despite that it is a chill vod if u need background noise for anything

YAYYY JIMMY STREAM SUMMARY yeah this SMP came out of nowhere. I heard nothing about it. Fun that Rendog is here though!! And Cleo!!

"well being small is fun for a stream and then it gets a bit annoying doesnt it." OFF TO A NOT GOOD START GRRRRRRRR JIMMY..........my son..... ESMP2 haunts him... And then he goes and makes fun of fWhip LMAO. Not going to fault him but also not going to fault fWhip for almost killing Jimmy a few times, deserved

Sausage's humor making me want to end myself as usual. But Jimmy immediately rejecting his marriage proposal did put a smile on my face. If it weren't for moments like this to balance out Sausage just. the way he is. I would actually be infuriated if I ever watched SMP streams he's in. Sorry Sausage fans

"jimmys like wow you have a bow on your back. oli calls his ass big and juicy. frowns" ?????? Oli?? ok whatever its. whatecver

"Oli starts to give lizzie a riddle and says "what is wet and long- and not dry-" then gets confused and just. doesnt finish it at all." ok thats funny lmao. hurt himself in his own confusion . deserved

Omg Oli and Jim kiss though <3 and them basing together potentially yes please

Ok yeah that sounds both chill and very confusing. I also don't understand heavily modded mc. But why is their humor sense just sex jokes again can they sprinkle in some other jokes every once in awhile PLEASE IM BEGGING

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2

♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'

♡ W/C: 6,534

♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024

♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there. 

“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked. 

Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes. 

She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully. 

“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt. 

“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly. 

“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly. 

She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust. 

“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully. 

“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.

He chuckled a bit,  “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.

“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.

Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine. 

“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.

“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused. 

“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door. 

“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked. 

“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras. 

“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.

“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.

“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her. 

“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked. 

“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on. 

“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound. 

“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated. 

Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt. 

“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was. 

“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily. 

“It can’t be that bad” she countered. 

“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit. 

She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight. 

“Told you” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt. 

“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney. 

“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way. 

“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased. 

Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side. 

“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked. 

“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing. 

“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold. 

She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back. 

“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked. 

“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle. 

“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke. 

“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained. 

“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal. 

“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him. 

“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him. 

“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly. 

“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step. 

“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk. 

“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous. 

“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing. 

“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled. 

“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse. 

It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms. 

“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd. 

“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly. 

“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging. 

Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop. 

“Stand.” He told the horse firmly. 

“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life. 

“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade. 

“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously. 

“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach. 

She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too. 

He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now. 

“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail. 

“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased. 

Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here. 

“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point. 

And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life. 

“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully. 

Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“ 

“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit. 

“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked. 

She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned. 

“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins. 

“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready. 

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure. 

“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said. 

“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes. 

“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh

“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted. 

She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more. 

“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm. 

“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter. 

“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased. 

“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said. 

With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going. 

Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats. 

“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding. 

“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter. 

He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop. 

“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor. 

“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again

“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her. 

“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist 

“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”  

She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused. 

“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing. 

“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down. 

She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks. 

“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down. 

“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water. 

“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled. 

“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously. 

“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently. 

“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased. 

He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said. 

“You better have seen a doctor” she said. 

“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said. 

“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too. 

“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious. 

He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel. 

“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open. 

The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.

“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around. 

“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock. 

“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently. 

“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders. 

“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her. 

“And what if it is?” He questioned. 

“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased 

He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap. 

“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk. 

“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased. 

She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek. 

“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him. 

“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans. 

“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut. 

Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally. 

“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push. 

“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them. 

He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.” 

The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked. 

He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’ 

Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane. 

Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like. 

Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!

Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least. 

“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs. 

Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly. 

“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel. 

“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands. 

“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie. 

“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off

“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again. 

“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up. 

“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him. 

“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit. 

“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously. 

“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned. 

“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment. 

“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded. 

“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly. 

Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips. 

“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged. 

Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt. 

“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair. 

“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked. 

Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to. 

“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.

 “Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged. 

Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought-  he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna? 

Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out. 

“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit. 

“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged. 

“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased. 

“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.” 

“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.”  Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.

 He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again. 

“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone. 

“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned. 

Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way. 

The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was, 

Admit how he felt to Sydney. 

Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane. 

“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.

“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window. 

The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd. 

“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session. 

“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot. 

“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up. 

“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit 

“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker. 

“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them. 

“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins. 

Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her. 

Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance. 

“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind.  “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

[gizkasparadise]

final leg of a journey to love thoughts!! (eps 35-40). this got so gd long so under a cut it goes. spoilers, of course:

PLOT STUFF/PACING

pacing for the plot definitely got shredded in the last chunk, which is a damn shame because otherwise i've been finding the pacing pretty much perfect. eps 35-37 in particular felt like they could have been like a 10 episode arc. ep 38, which mostly dealt with wu palace politics, should have been cut or streamlined imo and more time given to the characters we've actually been riding along with the whole story. by the time we get back to the pregnant empress, prince danyang, the first prince whose name i dont even remember, and the prime minister, i do not care about any of them and i think this subplot was simply just trying to fit too much shit into one bag

that said, this show still let the emotional moments hit and breathe and linger. i love the grief for the fallen liudao comrades as we go, as well as the less heavy but still emotionally important moments like yang ying and tongguan bonding over their upbringing. and we got a wedding /;3;/!!! for this show, the relationships and characters matter more than the storyline so im not mad about anything at all

side note: it's so gd millennial to have a story about a bunch of 30 something year olds who want to fake their deaths and retire into obscurity but instead they go and die for a boss they hate

CHARACTER STUFF

this show consistently brought a lot of depth to its side characters (and side side characters!!). i said it in an earlier post, but it bears repeating that even someone like deng hui i didnt expect anything from, but he got such good development and writing that he became a stealth fave. his dying words essentially being "dude, quit fucking around" ? iconic.

i didnt like tongguan as much as everyone else, so im pretty meh about everything regarding him. the attempt to force-wed ruyi was tonally really weird and didnt make sense (i assume there was some cuts made surrounding it). but LOL at him reusing all the outfits and decor immediately for his wedding to yang ying. baby duke, you tacky motherfucker. i ultimately think yang ying deserves better than him, but the good thing is that she knows this, so she'll be able to hold her own and then some entering into this partnership

shisan really was the heart in a lot of ways--the mom to yuanzhou's dad for the liudao. i was not expecting him to break my heart the way he did, but the fact that he held both qian zhao and sun lang as they died and then tried his best to remove yuan lu from harm and saved chu yue and was just very much a nurturer all the way through got me. his character couldve been cheap comic relief but the writing + performance really elevated him into one of the (imo) most memorable wuxia characters. his line wondering who would get to behead his beautiful skull!!! and how his mantra was always that he was going to drink the best wine, see the most beautiful women, and make the best of friends and he dies having lost the ability to see and having just had wine in memory of qian zhao, yuan lu, and sun lang. like. shut up!!

ruyi and yuanzhou were both so great and they're gonna be the drama OTP to beat forever. i loved the gender reversals, that they both were so respectful of each other, and that they also felt very mature in how they handled things and communicated. they were really interesting characters both together and apart and that's always a win-win. they had a schroedinger's ending where it's not super clear if they're alive or dead (i interpreted it as the latter), but what's kind of beautiful is that either option is satisfying to me. if they both died, they're reunited and with their comrades and the story is truly about the journey and the meaningful short connections we have. if they both survived, it's a bookend with the beginning where they each faked their deaths to escape. A+

COSTUMING

i gotta just separately mention the costuming for this show because it was 15/10. the textures, shisan's accessories, the way red became integrated with yuanzhou's wardrobe and blue with ruyi's. the details on the liudao name amulets!! SO GOOD. i love when characters' clothes tell a story on their own

overall i just really loved this drama it is probably my favorite wuxia ive seen so far! it's gonna be in my brain for awhile lol feel free to send fic prompts if you've made it this far :'D

[localsunnet]

monn rach lore because i cannot keep it to myself anymore sobbing (pt 1)

You read the title, monn rach lore (pt 1) because two people said yes

ill try to make it make sense because my grammar kinda sucks ass and i dont know how to properly explain things (and i’ll split it into 2-3 parts because i don’t want the post to be too long 💔💔💔💔)

also if it’s historically inaccurate im so sorry ,,

presented by yours truly (warnjng: i suck at writing)

Monn was born into the religious Rach family in Leipzig on 13th of March 1784, and is the youngest one among his siblings, Meier and Martin.

Since his father was an officer in the Prussian army and wasn’t usually home, Monn’s mother cared for him and his brothers alone, and she usually brought them to church. (you guys will not like his father, trust me)

When Monn is 2 years old, his mother started noticing weird behaviours from him, like not being able to speak properly. At first she thought it was nothing and figured he’ll grow out of it, but those behaviours followed him to his 5th birthday, and since the family’s religious she reaallyy started to believe that he’s cursed in a way and started ignoring him, only feeding him but basically just gave him no attention in fear that he’ll attract a demon or smth (this will NOT cause problems later on /sarc). Luckily his brothers think that’s bullshit so they started to care for him instead and taught him life skills, though mother would always warn them to not interact with him. Monn during this time also started to have small cannibalistic thoughts, which will NOT spiral guys!! /j

So Monn was no longer given attention by his mom and pretty much started to distrust her, only daring to approach his brothers for help. During this time he found an interest in cats, black cats to be specific, and he started to dream of being a veterinarian when he grows up.

One day during mass at age 6, he met Father Silvio, a new chaplain in St. Thomas, and he immediately trusted him with every atom of his being due to him looking like a white cat and followed him around, even though Silvio kind of didn't like him and would push him away every time they’ll interact. (he will come back later in clutch so keep him in mind)

When he was 10, Monn met a scholar (who I didn’t name but feel free to suggest) who was willing to teach him sign language and help him read and write properly after school. Most of Monn’s happy childhood memories came from his time with the scholar and he feels like he owed him a lot for it. Sadly the scholar had to leave Leipzig 2 years later and he never crossed paths with him ever again. Before he left, he did gift Monn a grey wool scarf as a sign of appreciation.

His life after that wasn’t super interesting, his routine was just wake up, breakfast, go to school, come back, dinner, sleep. Maybe add going to mass on Sundays but thats really about it.

And I’ll end it here for this part because im gonna TWEAK after using my brain to write this for 2 nights (which is apparently when my brain usually goes “write now”) (yes i did get sleep because i got tired) im so sorry guys for not writing the entire thing guh…

hopefully you guys can understand this and LIKE MONN’S LORE!!! (Any suggestions and criticisms are VERY welcome, making situations is also VERY allowed!!)

monarchy out and until i return