perfunctory-satisfaction - Tumblr blog

perfunctory-satisfaction · 39 minutes ago

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Beautiful views of New York City at 3:30 am.

#ugh i wanna see this w her #its so bad already like ik a major MAJOR part of it is that i just got out of an 8 month relationship #but i do really like her :[#and i know it cant last and that makes me so sad #but for right now im choosing to just focus on how she makes me feel and worry a bit less about how long its going to last #especially because ummmm boyfriend is still in the picture 😬#i dont blame her for how shes leaving the relationship #but if we were actually just friends i would 100000% be telling her she absolutely has to break up with him and that cheating isnt okay #but cause im the one shes cheating with.. well i just dont feel that way #like i have literally told my friend's partners about them cheating before cause i knew the friend wouldnt and ive been cheated on #so i know how much it sucks #but really i just dont know or care about boyfriend all that much so im kind of putting my own morals aside for the sake of enjoying myself #at least for a little while #if it goes on too long and she still hasnt broken up with him i will unfortunately have to break it off myself and i know that #but i honestly havent decided how long that is yet cause i gave ex like almost 2 months to tell z about c #cause i was pretty certain i was gonna tell z myself but i wanted to give ex the chance and the time to do it herself #and it took some time but she did admit to it #so im kinda expecting the same thing in this situation where it might take a bit but she absolutely knows she has to leave him #like for HER sake nothing to do with me #idk man im having thoughts and feelings and i needed to vent 😭

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perfunctory-satisfaction · 52 minutes ago

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i just hope dykes like me. thats what its all about really

#we do <3 #whoever is feeling this post let me speak for dykes and say we definitely do <3

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perfunctory-satisfaction · 9 hours ago

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#guys. GUYS.#SHE KISSED ME. WE KISSED. LIKE A COUPLE OF TIMES.#and shes gonna stay the night tomorrow 👀#and we have been talking and well suffice to say i am gonna get fucked tomorrow :) by a gorgeous ass woman who im a like VERY attracted to #sorry to be snfw with it but im like. so excited #she is also a switch/verse so we both are interested in exploring the other side from what we are used to 👀#its been so long since ive been touched 🥲 and i really am so subby like i simply cannot dom all of the time #with ex i frequently found myself fantasizing about us having sex but it never looked how it actually did when we had sex #it was either a fantasy where i was super dominant and confident (which was not exactly the case i was very insecure)#or it was me getting like absolutely destroyed by a dominant version of her in my head #and i asked her to touch me like many times by the end of the relationship i felt like i was pestering her and she basically confirmed that #like we had sex a lot like as much as possible but it was always me touching her and i loved that i really did #but i was missing something and it took me a long time to realize it was that i wanted her to WANT to touch me #i didnt want to feel like my pleasure was inconvenient or a task to be dealt with #and i tried to talk to her about that but when i did she would make me feel guilty for “making her feel bad” and i DID feel guilty for that #bc i didnt want her to feel bad i wanted her to want me #but with friend #shes super up front which im obsessed with and she really makes me feel wanted in a way ive been craving for a long time now #but i refused to even try and get that from anyone but ex because i think i really thought i could 'change' her #so it took breaking up and watching her basically move on for me to realize she never would want me #she only wanted me to want her #and i was fully prepared for this crush on friend to go no where and ik we arent gonna date still obviously #like i truly was not expecting this at all #but now that its happening it like- this is what i need right now and that feels so healing bc i feel like i understand ex way better now #and im so much less angry with her for how things ended because i can sympathize more now that im not actively obsessed with her #personal.txt #but still fuck her i learned new info and i really dont like her much at all even as a person so this is not me saying anything in defense #of her #just that im angry at her for the right reasons now i think #WHICH IS DEFINITELY MORE THAN SHE CAN SAY

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perfunctory-satisfaction · 22 hours ago

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perfunctory-satisfaction · 22 hours ago

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consuming mass amounts of media related to my hyperfixation isnt enough i need to eat it

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perfunctory-satisfaction · 24 hours ago

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surprising absolutely no one, my ex is a piece of shit!

#i stg if she tried to pull the same shit on my brother #and his fiance #the same shit she did to z** and c****#i will fucking kill her #i will literally hunt her ass down #she is such a homewrecking asshole and YES I KNOW THATS SEXIST THANKS.#but when you are like ariana grande levels of seeking out people in relationships to sleep with #AND ONE OF THEM IS MY BROTHER #like fuck you dude #and she made this big show of apologizing to me for what she did when we were teens #but failed to mention that before we dated she tried something with him WHILE HE WAS ENGAGED. SHES SUCH A BAD PERSON.#like i tried to justify this womans behaviour for 8 months. for 8 months i bent over backward trying to make sense of her bullshit.#im so done with her and thank fucking christ for that #and you know what? i lowkey HOPE she gets convicted for assaulting me #like u gave me a concussion :| u slashed my face with ur keys :| you had me IN A CHOKEHOLD AGAINST A DOOR WHEN THE COPS PULLED UP :|#thats deadass just assault after a point.. i dont know how i ever went back to her #oh she also bit me SO MANY TIMES #like #i have pics of the bruises. she bit my fucking face once. pulled my hair out scratched punched kicked me threw me around threw things AT me #and then she would tell me that shes never hit any of her other partners and that i “pushed her to it”#and that actually i even manipulate her into doing it intentionally so that i can make her feel guilty about it :|#like girl i think that may just be the guilt 😭#glad to know shes not SO awful that she didnt even feel bad #she just could not accept that her feeling guilty for hitting me was not m y . f a u l t .#personal.txt

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perfunctory-satisfaction · 1 day ago

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hate it when pets learn words, my dog flips out when he hears "greenie" so we had to start saying "G word" but now he knows G word so we have to say shit like "are we out of emerald indulgences"

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perfunctory-satisfaction · 1 day ago

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#*attempting to make her fall for me through the power of thought*#she said i am in her daydreams sometimes :)#which may have just been a flirt #but im choosing to believe its true cause i also think of her sometimes #this is just all so nice and refreshing

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perfunctory-satisfaction · 1 day ago

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the main problem with this time of year is the irresistible urge to get fully into bed at like 5:34 pm and outside is like yesss, yesss do it, it's what you deserve yesss. like is it depression or is it just november

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perfunctory-satisfaction · 2 days ago

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girls that sleep with stuffed animals deserve rough sex

#STOP. MAKING. ME. THINK. OF. MY. EX.#this is 1000000% something i wouldve sent her

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perfunctory-satisfaction · 2 days ago

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I hope I’m not just a tumblr mutual but I’m someone you’d go see highland cows with.

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perfunctory-satisfaction · 2 days ago

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