#...especially because i'm a man (and because people are misogynists who think it's just so funny that women are people)...

[roblogging]

I don’t know about anyone else, but I think a lot of cis straight women who write mlm typically write mlm because it’s nice to write a love story with out the inherent power inbalance that all straight relationships have.

YES !!! 100% yes, this is a point i make in this video !!!

i mean,,, i'm coming at it from a different perspective as someone who read only mlm prior to coming out as trans, but it's the same concept - wanting to disconnect from your own identity and fall head over heels into something else.

it's nice to read stories where your inferiority isn't part of it, where you aren't subjected to patriarchial values or situations, and you can just,,, enjoy the story, you know? and i think mlm ships, more so than wlw ships, provide that escapism more.

i think i also talk a bit in that video about mainstream media and the effects that has, especially in a fandom space. marauders for example, the core four are men and the people they are connected to *canonically* are mostly men - we know more about them and how they navigate the world, and that makes for more interesting stories. (see here: "but regulus has barely any cano-" he does but also,,, he's the brother of a core character, hence why he's developed a lot)

we can also get messy with the men, you know? we see it a lot in mainstream media *and* fandom where a "messy" woman (a human being with flaws and mistakes) is criticised for being misogynistic etc etc, and we lose complexity through that (i'm looking at you, platonic snily deniers /hj but fr, that is the most central part of her character imo)

but marlene and dorcas for example? we only know about two facts, including how they died, and we don't even know if they were in the same year as the marauders, so it's more of a gradual development than taking developed male characters - mainstream media sucks man :/ god forbid we get developed women.

so yes !!! i stronglyyy dislike the fetishisation argument because whilst there is 100% the chance that that is why people write and engage in those stories, 99.9% of the time it isn't and people either (1) like that escapism that comes from reading without your inferiority as a woman coming into play (2) like reading more complex stories that we typically get with men, especially since we allow them to get more "messy" and (3) they just,,, like the characters.

there's a big gap between the consumption of mlm media and the consumption of wlw, but i don't think demonising mlm and reducing it to just sexual fantasies and fetish desires is progressive at all,,, less so even.

[uncanny-tranny]

It's weird how people paint "daddy issues" and even "mommy issues" as, like, a joke or a failure on part of the person who has those issues, rather than recognizing that daddy and mommy issues stem, for so many people, from abuse. What this all is is just abuse apologia, and nobody seems to either notice or maybe even care.

When somebody with daddy or mommy issues opens up about the "why," I can't ever seem to shake the fact that they tend to have gone through a ton of abuse and bullshit as a child. It's just crazy that other people would look at that and see a joke or a failure of the once-child who was abused.

[here-there-were-dragons]

my mother is absolutely convinced of some nonsense conspiracy theory that (in her words) "originally humanity lived in peaceful all-woman societies of goddess worshippers who took care of eachother and lived in harmony, while males were roving loners that had no society and never cooperated. that changed when the men banded together and overthrew the peaceful woman-dominated societies, and enslaved us all." and, according to her, this is proof that a woman-dominated world would be innately more peaceful, and that men are innately violent and evil and should be either barred from holding any legal power or leadership roles or at least should be (again in her words) "gelded like bulls" to remove their testosterone before even being considered for such a thing.

she also evidently believes that the problem with all religions today is primarily that they aren't "goddess worshippers", because she seems to think goddess religions are inherently peaceful and pure too and seems to be especially obsessed with "Isis" in particular. the very very few times she's openly considered it unambiguously bad for some population or another to have been exterminated (she's got a bad case of devil's advocating genocide brain), she's gone out of her way to make up some crap about how said people were a peaceful society of goddess-worshippers, almost always of isis. delusions of isis-worship seem to be the only thing that ever causes her to consider any arab or middle-eastern culture, society, or ethnicity to be relatively uncomplicatedly undeserving of extermination, in fact, because every fucking time she doesn't immediately start devils-advocating it and making remarks about how "the rest of the world should box them in and let them blow eachother up" it's when she's whinging on about how whatever specific micro-ethnicity she's thinking about are or were traditional persecuted isis-worshippers.

the sole major exception to her weird fixation on isis worship justifying worthiness of life is the whole israel thing going on, in which she has consistently made very obvious that literally the only reason she's against the genocide of palestine is because it gives her an excuse to even more openly hate jewish people than she already did. and honestly i'm not sure even that's true because i think she's made some offhand remarks about palestinians having probably been peaceful isis worshipers before the jews infected them with christianity or something anyway.

so for the last, however fucking long it's been i've been constantly having to listen to her go off about how this behavior is in the jew's blood or whatever and that they literally invented all genocide because somehow the concept didn't exist before them and wouldn't have ever been invented by the rest of humanity without those jewish aliens dropping it in i fucking guess apparently and she furthermore goes on about how every single genocide and mass-oppression movement in history is directly inspired by them, ESPECIALLY the nazis, and THEN i have to listen to her rant about how, basically, wwii was something they entirely brought on themselves by "dominating the economy and treating everyone not them like shit" and the nazis were just "using their own tactics back at them". and then she goes on a rant about how the people the original jews exterminated back in the day (aka the first ever genocide, which they invented, because jews invented genocide and hate according to her) in the middle east region were peaceful matriarchal isis-worshipers.

and then she starts making comments about arabs being backwards and palestinians either being mysogynist muslims that should be boxed in to blow eachother up with everyone else or secret peaceful isis worshippers corrupted by men's cruel hand, sometimes in the same sentence, entirely dependent on which group she's more in the mood to hate at the time.

it's exhausting. beyond exhausting. her sole purpose in existence seems to be to have the singularly most exhausting set of politics physically possible to fit into one person.

just, sometimes i think, if there really is anything at all to the incredibly stupid and inexplicably popular idea that anyone or anything has a Purpose tm to exist for, i feel like my mother's purpose is to be walking proof to me of a Type Of Guy That Is Real, cause i sure as fuck would have trouble inventing this mess if it wasn't standing right in front of me spewing confusingly bipartisan hate. all of her thoughts and opinions are these long winding nonsense chains that feel like if that man carrying thing sketch about the friend with confusing politics was a person. on meth.

[nightmarish-fallen-angel]

There's something especially biting about people telling transmascs specifically to unpack their misogyny.

After so long of being yelled at or berated by my mother. Looked at with disgust for not shaving my legs and yelled at when I cut my hair, guilt tripped into wearing makeup, and being told any masculine dress was "not socially acceptable." All things that actively hurt gnc women as well as trans people. All things that are misogynistic to imply women have to do.

Every time I try to come out as trans: "I wish you weren't ashamed of your femininity, I'm so heartbroken that you hate women. You're only trying to become a man because you think women are inferior." Following it up with a "why can't you express yourself as you are and just be a gnc woman..." As if she didn't just mock me for those exact traits.

My mother, and by extension TERFs (as my mother is one), constantly imply that the only reason transmasculine people exist is because they are poor little girls who struggle with internalized misogyny. They need to embrace being the gnc women they truly are~ And the gnc women need to fix their internalized misogyny by being more feminine~

So imagine my frustration when the communities I assume to be safe for trans people (both irl and online) hit me with the "transmascs need to unpack their misogyny :/" "a surprising number of transmascs are misogynistic actually :/"

Everyone needs to unpack their misogyny dipshit. The fact that transmascs are singled out specifically leads me to conclude one (or both) of two things:

You have encountered a shitty transmasc person and have taken it upon yourself to decide that the entire transmasc community is like that. I'm not saying misogynistic transmascs don't exist, but if you see someone with a bigoted worldview and go "well this is indicative of the entire community" you are the problem.

You think transmascs are misogynistic for getting gender dysphoria around things that are feminine or conversely, they are misogynistic for getting euphoria around masculinity. This is just straight up punishing trans people for being true to themselves.

Both of these are transphobic arguments and are common TERF tactics to discredit trans people. I do not trust you if you hold the opinion that misogyny is more prevalent in transmasculine spaces than in society at large.

[dubina-dawkins]

STRESS

~850 words

>After long missions Ben is obviously stressed. What else can you do if not help him?

warnings/notes: smut, minors dni! oral (m receiving), female reader but there aren't many real descriptions other than calling reader a "heroine", no usage of y/n, no proofread I'm gonna die, ben is being canonically really rough, but there's just a bit of his softer side i wish was there in canon so maybe ooc, supe!reader, reader is a second captain of payback (like starlight in the third season but no parallels between starlight & homelander and reader & soldier boy)

REBLOGS WILL BE APPRECIATED!

It hadn't been a hard day, not even a hard week, it had been going on for a hell of a long time. Everyone was on edge, even Tessa and Tommy were exhausted, and if all those missions, he filming of that stupid movie Legend had insisted on, could exhaust the twins, whose energy had always burned like dynamite, pun intended, then obviously no one had any energy at all.

People deal with stress in different ways. Some people try to abstract themselves from society - that's what Mindstorm did, and something in you told him that if he missed one more training session, then as soon as his coat even looms in Soldier Boy's peripheral vision, Dan would be dead.

Some were trying to forget themselves in training, and some were trying to beat the crap out of them in training. And you, as co-captain of this incorrigible team, as a supe who still had some humanity left in her, it was unbearably painful to watch Ben take it out on the others. But not at you, of course. Of course not at you, you were fucking special.

For instance, you were special when you sat between his legs in the meeting room.

No, don't think anything terrible, Ben wasn't the kind of man who would force a woman to do something like that, after all, he may have been a bastard, a misogynist and...a lot of other bad things, but he was a real man of his time - or at least he thought he was. In his opinion, it was much more manly to get a woman to fall at his feet - in this case, literally.

No, it's just that after he almost smashed Black Noir's head on the table during today's meeting, you had no doubt that he could use some stress relief.

And who, if not the second captain of the Payback, America's No. 1 heroine, on a par with the Statue of Liberty, could help him, America's greatest hero, become even a little more forgiving? The answer was obvious: no one. Did you do it out of fear, Stockholm syndrome, or because the only humanity left in you somehow cherished the bastard? It wasn't that important. Not now, anyway.

Not when his big hand was clutching your hair, painfully pulling back and literally slamming your head into his lap again and again. His cock slammed into your throat with a sharp and tremendous pressure, and somewhere through the veil of your own pleasure in the process you could hear his absolutely animalistic growl. Well, knowing that you could bring him to such a primitive state fueled so much pride in your chest that you obviously grew bolder.

You could grip his shaft lightly with your teeth, which made your hair pull back especially hard, forcing you to let go of his length from your mouth. You only laughed, and Ben only feigned annoyance.

And just a few moments after that, he's back to exhaling your name gutturally, stretching the "r" sound especially hard when he says you're his "good girl". And soon enough, Ben's grip on your curls tightens, and he's moving your head at an unsteady pace in pursuit of his pleasure alone. You suppress your gag reflexes, because to your great surprise, not only he likes it, but you as well. You were definitely a masochist.

His growls, guttural moans, and sloppy grunts mingled with your whimpers and the wet slapping of your face against his heated skin. How strange was it that you were ready to cum now without even touching your needy slit with your fingertips, just from the feel of his huge length in your mouth? It was probably very strange, but you didn't have that thought in your head, or any other, God, Ben had literally fucked the shit out of your brain, because all your sick mind was thinking about was his voice, his face, his hands, just fucking him. Thrust, thrust, another thrust--

He stops abruptly, apparently not wanting to end it like this. Soldier Boy lets go of your hair, pats your head approvingly (a rare sign of tenderness on his part!) and then takes up the locks again to lift your face off his still-hard cock, glistening in a mixture of pre-ejaculate and your saliva. He grins smugly, taking your chin with his finger. Judging by the fact that he's even allowed himself that smirk, some of his stress is already gone. But this is not enough.

"Get up, love. And sit on the table," he growls, lifting you off your lap as you almost hit your head on the edge of the table, and Ben lowers himself to you, pressing his lips dangerously close to yours in a scalding kiss. His lips taste gross, a mixture of expensive whiskey, weed, and smoke, but you grasp the taste with your whole life line. But before you can even open your mouth to his tongue, Ben soon pulls away, biting your bottom lip.

"I'm not going to end this with you so easily."

a/n: of course know this man is huge asshole and i hate him with all of my heart but your honor he's played by jensen ackles so he can be pardoned. idk what was the last time i written smut tbh

[tossawary]

I finished Volume 3 of SVSSS, which encompasses the main story, and currently have my bookmark sitting at the first chapter of the Airplane Extras in Volume 4. I took a bunch of quote pics but have yet to review them and add thoughts.

Every time I read SVSSS, I forget how... incredible... the inside of Shen Yuan's head is. He's fascinating.

Like, he's misogynistic (even while criticizing Airplane's own misogynistic writing), he's homophobic, AND he's transphobic. Not in a way where I think he thinks anyone deserves fewer rights than anyone else (I think he's generally a nice person, although, holy shit, I would not trust this man to craft policy of any kind) or would prevent anyone from living however they chose to live, a lot of his problematic bullshit stays inside his own head as he tries to understand the world around him using the stallion novel formulas he was given, but he's carrying around SO MUCH unexamined bias that supports his refusal to examine himself and his own desires.

Some of it reads (presumably intentionally) a LOT like the kind of conflicting, problematic bullshit a lot of queer people carry around inside their heads as they struggle to untangle themselves and their beliefs.

And while I do wish that Shen Yuan had been forced to confront and address his misogyny and transmisogyny even further than it does come up (in part because it is DEFINITELY affecting the way he thinks about gay men as well, including and especially Binghe), I do kind of... appreciate on some level that he thinks this way? From a character standpoint? Because I think it's probably realistic for a privileged young man spending a lot of time on the internet reading shit like PIDW to look at the world this way. And it's clear even through his own narration that his blindness in certain areas is causing him a lot of trouble. While I do have criticisms and personal wishes, I do appreciate the depiction of personal character development that is just... a cringeworthy mess of internalized bullshit the whole fucking time.

Also, it's SO funny to me that he reads as SO aro-ace-spectrum to me (probably gay, but generally detached from sexuality and possibly also partially from gender) AND he actually knows... the word asexual, I don't think he has a very broad understanding of asexuality... but he knows the word and yet doesn't personally identify that way. He mentally accuses both Luo Binghe (main story, before finding out Binghe is into him) and Liu Qingge (Succubus Extra) of being asexual for showing no interest in women, only to fail to reflect on how he ALSO demonstrably has no lasting personal interest in the women around them, which doesn't read as very genuine to me.

(EDIT: Again, I am not against a bisexual Shen Yuan interpretation either! I am willing to be persuaded by any author who wishes to tell a particular story. But Shen Yuan's attraction towards women often reads personally to me as very shallow and possibly insincere.)

"I willingly read PIDW, that proves I'm straight!" he sincerely thinks to himself, even though his favorite wife is the one without explicit sex scenes and he also admits to skipping over a lot of them.

"I'm able to tell when women are beautiful, that makes me straight!" thinks the guy who mentally censors nudity whenever demon women lose their clothes, and keeps telling us how "the average reader" of PIDW would react to these beautiful women instead of conveying his own attracted reactions. His actual reactions are generally centered on a woman's narrative significance. The only people he personally seems to find attractive are Luo Binghe and maybe Liu Qingge.

Though my interpretation was that he does probably experience sexual arousal and have a sex drive (see his username), which probably helps with his conviction of straightness, I'm not sure that there's any mention of Shen Yuan even masturbating at all in the entire main story of SVSSS? He never tried to hook up with anyone. Sex is apparently not a priority for him.

(EDIT: He does seem to enjoy sex with Binghe in the "Bing-mei vs. Bing-ge" Extra. He loves Binghe and likes the closeness and the physical pleasure. I appreciate the indication that they're working on moving on from the AWFUL intercourse pushed by Xin Mo's possession and possibly also the System's Scenario Pusher.)

And Shen Yuan seems to view women as being and behaving Fundamentally Differently from men and gay men as behaving Fundamentally Differently from straight men (as soon as he learns Binghe is into him, he thinks about how Binghe isn't behaving like the characters in his sister's gay, non-con, BDSM erotica novels), seeing everything through the lens of novel tropes, such that he seems to view sex and sexuality and gender as being deeply mixed with a person's personality. So he can't be a gay man, because he's too "Normal", in his mind at first, because he doesn't behave like his own mental image of "How Gay Men Behave" (or "How Women Behave / A PIDW Wife Behaves"), while also demonstrably not being anything like "the average reader" of PIDW and also apparently not caring too much about his own masculinity? Like, I do think he likes being the gentleman scholar of Qing Jing Peak, he does like appearing dignified and strong and cool, he doesn't like losing, he doesn't really like playing "damsel in distress" roles, and I do think he likes being gallant towards women, but he's not too concerned about seriously competing with figures like Luo Binghe or Liu Qingge? He's happy enough to back down and let someone else take the lead if necessary. He puts up with being put into the roles of female leads even if it embarrasses him and he rolls with the punches to his pride easily enough. He seems to have decided his Sexuality By Default, so it does make me have a lot of thoughts about whether or not he's potentially going with Gender By Default / Convenience as well.

Someone get this man some amateur and academic literature on gender and sexuality (and a lot of other stuff), stat, so he can ignore it, probably.

[hotchtits]

hotch and elle and the killing of their respective 'main' unsubs

if i see one more fucking person say

"oh its so unfair that elle got fired for killing a guy when hotch literally did the same thing and everyone praised him for it"

i think i just might lose it

lets break this down and actually think critically about this

when hotch literally did the same thing

wrong!! what did hotch actually do?

hunted down an escaped (after being arrested and identified) and prolific serial killer that had assaulted him in his own home and targeted his family

listened to said serial killer murder his wife over the phone

entered a literal fight to the death with the serial killer where he had to beat him to death with his bare hands because otherwise both him and his son would have been murdered next

it was self defense. pure and simple. he had no gun, no weapon other than his hands and he knew that if he stepped away, it would be over. there is quite literally nothing else could have done.

what did elle do?

hunted down an uncharged and unconfirmed suspect

tried to provoke him into attacking her

when that didn't work, shot him and planted evidence as well as lie about what happened when the police arrived

did the guy deserve it? absolutely. he was a scumbag and a rapist and deserved to die. but the show makes her actions inexcusable for a reason. you cannot do that as a law enforcement officer. you cannot go and shoot someone who is not actively threatening you, especially not without evidence. additionally, the reason he was uncharged was because she panicked during the undercover mission.

i agree that she definitely wasn't ready for it, and that someone else should have been the bait but she was asked and she confirmed that she would be okay.

"but they should have realised that she would have panicked" why? up until that point, she had been a brilliant agent and had never given any indication that she might not be able to do it. again, she told both hotch and gideon that she'd be fine. why would they doubt her? she's good at her job.

everyone praised him for it

also wrong!! emily and rossi look at him in nothing short of horror when they run in to find him beating foyet to a pulp. even morgan, while comforting him, is obviously disturbed by the scene.

hotch and his team also faced a hearing about the aftermath of the case. it didnt matter that foyet had been stopped and that he and his son were safe, he still had to justify every single action he took.

there's another counterargument here that "well they might not have praised him for it but they understood why he did it" and... yeah? again, self defense.

anyway. this is one of those topics that makes my blood boil. i love elle. do i think they way they never brought her up again was unfair? yes. do i think that the way she suffered because of a choice gideon made was unfair? yes. was she wrong for shooting that guy? honestly i'm kind of glad she did.

but im sick of people saying that their circumstances were the same because they weren't.

people also love to cite misogyny here and while CM has a fair amount of it (dont get me started on the treatment of paget and aj) its not fucking misogynistic to recognize that what elle did was illegal and hotch didn't "get a pass" for what he did just because "hes a man"

TLDR: stop comparing elle and hotch's situations with the intention of pointing out the inequality of their treatments because their situations were in no way comparable.

[lovecolibri]

Alright, gotta make a petty post so I can get it out of my brain. It got long, sorry.

It is baffling to me that people keep pushing this idea that Buck would be perfectly happy with another of his LIs if only Eddie weren't around. Especially after 8x05 I'm seeing the same shit I saw with BT 1.0 which is that they're just so cute and *sigh* if only Eddie weren't around, Buck could be happy with them but sooo unfortunately, Eddie is there and better for Buck.

And I just cannot imagine we are watching the same show. Buck would be perfectly happy with someone who shuts the lights off while he's talking? Someone who basically tells him to shut up? Who doesn't want to dress up for parties, and thinks because his bio dad is alive Buck shouldn't be so upset about Bobby almost dying? Someone who really hopes Buck has the kinds of insecurities related to a troubled relationships with his dad that makes people eager to please and easier to manipulate? In what word? In what universe is this a satisfying relationship for someone like Buck who just wants someone to love all of him for exactly who he is?

And I get what they're probably trying to do here because I've seen it a hundred times with other slow burn shows, where one or both of them are dating someone perfectly nice but it's just not quite a good fit. But that doesn't work here for numerous reasons.

One big one being that T is NOT a "perfectly nice" person. If they wanted that they could have invented someone new, not just AGAIN ignored the history a character had to use them for something else without ever taking a minute or two to address it, and by that note, not allowing the firefam to be able to truly talk to Buck about his relationships because they can't talk bad about the LI, so instead all these talks turn into why Buck is being bad at the relationship and needs to be better. (NGL I am absolutely dreading what that's going to look like in 8x06 now that we know it's not about T's racist, misogynistic past terrorizing Hen and Chim. 🙄The audience does not care about that man, why do we need to invent a reason for Buck to struggle with him when there is already one there that the audience already knows about! It sounds like a waste of screentime to invent something new instead of using what you already have which is the whole point of bringing back someone the audience already knows instead of inventing something wholecloth.)

The other glaring reasons this doesn't work for this show go hand-in-hand and that is a) it's been over 6 full seasons of this so b) we've already seen this relationship carousel SO many times and the audience is tired and c) that "slow burn", "pining but they're with someone else and now you go find someone else too, but then they break up with their person but you're already with someone who is nice and you don't want to hurt them" ONLY works when the audience knows they characters have feelings for each other. Oliver talked about longing and wanting the audience to feel that longing too and he's right, but it only works if the audience knows about the feelings. The audience has to be in on it, clearly and with no question, or the trope doesn't work. That's why 3rd party confessions are such a staple, because that other person becomes the vehicle for the audience to be let in on the inner workings of a character's mind without having to do an internal monologue or something. And I love the pining and delicious longing BUT again, that only works if we know the feelings are there but circumstances are keeping them apart.

And most shows do this EARLY. If it's a planned slow burn, you get it in the first season, if it's unplanned liken Chenford it can take a little longer but not much. And they're actually a great example because they did have other relationships that were perfectly fine! They dated nice people who had fun with them! But they were always just a little bland and the show made a point in scenes like that fabulous double date to show the audience which pair is better. BUT part of the angst and longing for the AUDIENCE comes from understanding the main character's desire to not hurt a perfectly nice person they are dating. Which does not work when that relationship is bad, whether the show is trying to portray it that way or not (see, RNM trying to pretend one character making snide remarks about a formerly homeless teen "smelling like a river" and being "house trained" was normal GF behavior and they were a cute couple).

But 9-1-1 is too far into the show to pull off a fully traditional "slow burn". The character have not admitted feelings yet and until they do, the "slow burn" can't really start for the audience! I do think they have an advantage in having put in the work to do this storyline ages ago in s4, so if they play it right and get a good montage of Buddie moments under a good song they can get the audience up to speed pretty quickly. But they can't really do the whole other relationships thing for too long, and playing BT as "so close but just not quite a good fit" doesn't ring true because whether the show has intended it or not, all of their scenes come across with T being a condescending dick to Buck and looking like he doesn't even like him that much.

IDK, I just love Buck so much and I am SO TIRED of this show putting him in these relationships with awful people and never addressing it, never allowing the firefam or Maddie to address it, and always making it out like BUCK is the problem for not trying hard enough instead of asking if he's even happy, or if THEY are trying hard enough to be what BUCK needs.

ANYWAY. I am not closing on Buddie, and I am prepared for it to take a bit to get together. But I think the show needs to recognize that this is not s2 of a show where they are starting up a 3 season slow burn arc, and that because of FOX interfering, and because of the choice in character and actor THEY chose to bring on for this, they are not going to be able to exactly follow the full typical slow burn playbook. I think they can still make it work and make it good and fun for the audience to be longing alongside the characters, but they are going to have to shift some things, and honestly they need to get rid of T as quickly as possible because they are only, once again, doing a disservice to Buck's character by having him date someone like that, and to the firefam/Maddie by not allowing them to call out a LIs shitty behavior and instead putting all the blame on Buck.

[pawberri]

thank you for all the posts you've made, your takes are always so refreshing to hear.

I want to know your thoughts (if it's okay with you, you can also totally ignore this) about all the "men hate" I see online. like I (poc transmasc non-passing) get it, there are genuine societal gender problems. transmisogyny does exist-women face more challenges than men do. but it genuinely hurts when women, especially trans women, think it's funny/quirky to call men trash or say they want all men dead or whatever. idk I just am hoping someone else understands, you know?

There's a lot of nuances to this question. First, I just want to caution against focusing too much on trans girls as the perpetrators of this. A lot of the asks I get from trans men seem to really fixate on trans women as the perpetrators of hard line gender essentialism. I really think trans girls are not the main people we should be focusing on here. If a trans woman is saying this stuff, take the time to analyze her ideology outside of that pithy comment and consider how much trauma and how little power she has in the world. That said, trans women are affected by this kind of ideology just like us, and they rarely have the power to wield it against others in the way cis people can. I know it hurts to feel isolated by your own community, but that kinda gets into my second point.

Part of dealing with this is learning an impulse progressive cishet dude have had to get used to over the decade. Sometimes, "men are trash" or even "kill all men" are not literal phrases. They are things women say when they're in the throes of trauma to vent their frustration. "Men are trash" in particular is generally pretty lighthearted and used to complain when you have a bad date or something. You have to get used to analyzing what someone actually means and airing on the side of empathy. You, as a man, are the one with some amount of systemic power over that woman, so you are the one who needs to prove you are dedicated to not being a misogynist. The same thing happens when my friends say they hate white people. I have to assume they don't hate me given that I'm their friend, but that I still have some of the negative traits of whiteness. I need to care enough to be a good friend by being anti-racist and checking myself on my behavior. I need to be willing to prioritize their comfort over mine. That includes not becoming this meme:

Now that that's established, there ARE times when "all men are evil and should die" is an actual ideology. It's an ideology that hurts tons of minority groups before it hurts the most powerful, but it's also not really great if we assume it only hurts cishet white guys. Following it to its logical conclusion, it just proposes a reversal of oppression dynamics. This gender essentialism is a key part of radical feminism, trans exclusionary or not, but it leaks out of that community to general feminism all the time.

As a young person on Tumblr and Twitter, this deeply affected me. I internalized the idea that you can "just be a girl." It was repeated by some trans girls, but also a LOT of TME people. It was framed as trans inclusive, but it's trans inclusive in the way "political lesbianism" is lesbian positive. It posits gender as a moral choice that is completely up to the individual and unrelated to biology. It's the lazy version of "gender is a social construct." I felt sick and disgusting for wanting to be a boy because tons of well-meaning friends of mine had made it clear that "being a boy" was a choice, and it was the wrong one. "Boy" was a social category that could and should eventually be eradicated. Trans women were conditionally supported because they, in theory, made this future possible. This didn't amount to actual support, of course. It was an ideology mostly spread by afab queer people that mostly benefited afab queer people. There were a few trans girls who spread it, maybe some due to genuinely believing in the ideology and some due to social pressure, but there were also a lot of people straight-up grifting as trans girls who used this thinking to feel powerful in a niche community of teens. Remember fucking Yandere Bitch Club???

At a certain point, I genuinely thought of being a man as an unambiguous moral failing, and I lashed out at out trans men because of it. I wanted to feel powerful, and here was a type of man in my community I could shame and exclude. I still feel bad for making a bunch of ~girls only~ stuff in HS that excluded the one out trans dude at our school, my friend, because he was just a ~binary man~ and leaving him with no friends and no community. I treated transphobia like it wasn't a real oppression on its own and, in doing so, perpetuated transphobia. It happens a lot.

I wasn't really able to accept that there was nuance to the concept of manhood until I read this article while struggling to accept my own gender:

This is a pretty seminal piece of writing. It has its flaws, of course, but the empathy and intersectionality it highlights was life-changing. It also shows that this kind of thinking is largely perpetuated by TME people and hurts trans women greatly.

Gender essentialism is a bad ideology, it's a transphobic, transmisogynist, racist, etc etc ideology. It's literally essential to patriarchy. But it's also very easy to repackage into leftism and easy to dogwhistle. As a result, it's natural to be hesitant when you see someone saying they hate all men, but you have to tread extremely lightly and actually care what they're attempting to express. Because, yeah, men as a social class still hold power over women. They still have reason to fear and hate men.

I'm writing a comic about this stuff, actually, so look out for it in the future..........

[luthordamnvers]

I still think I need to watch the entire show again, but I'm gonna try and collect some very scattered thoughts because the ~discourse is appalling, tbh.

Idk who needs to hear this, but every single marvel project has been about the widening of the marvel cinematic universe. And it's fucking insane, that people are reducing this show as "just a way to get Wiccan" when it was so much more, especially for a show that wasn't even supposed to exist. It was a show spearheaded by a showrunner who initially pitched it because she loved Agatha, and Kathryn's portrayal of Agatha. One that happens to be a woman, btw (one that happens to had been at the forefront of both Captain Marvel [Uncredited] and been responsible for the first past of Black Widow [Story by, credits]).

Don't get me wrong, the MCU certainly has misogynistic undertones, the fact that we had to wait to have a woman led movie, or a movie director, as long as we did is a travesty. That without even going into the intersectionality that we are still missing in the wider MCU. And one that's inherent in the comic book world, if we are being honest. But guess what, THIS is the type of show that changes that narrative.

The fact that wandavision is still regarded the best Marvel-Disney+ show. So good that got an spin off focused on "a nanny". Show that delivered on a show being about her, and yet not the entire story, with outstanding narrative, direction and storytelling. And some swats of fandom are diminishing it left and right. The dudebros because it was about a woman, about a middle-aged woman, about a queer middle-aged woman. And others in the fandom because it wasn't as queer as they wanted, or focused on what they wanted.

And let's be honest, I'm amazed the show was as unapologetically and canonically queer as it was. Thanks to the efforts of Jac, Kathryn and the team behind it.

Agatha is based on a character that's been around for 50 years, and has being nothing but a nanny/governess for superpowered kids because she happens to be a witch, until relatively recently. Even when we had had part of her back story for decades, she was never that important, and she isn't even evil. Dare I say, she hasn't been that relevant until her run with the Scarlet Witch, and Kathryn Hanh's interpretation of her.

Agatha All Along, is not only an spin off of Wandavision, but also part 2 of the whole story. OF COURSE, Billy would be a very important part of her story, something that was touched upon in WV, but was also part of her (and I'm using this word very loosely) redemption arc.

She shared a kinship with Billy in WV, because he was magick. She wanted to understand how he worked, because she knew what Wanda did, and she wanted Wanda's powers. The fact that she could identify Billy immediately, even when she hoped it was Nicky, was important, but people were to busy whining about Billy having an episode. One episode that was also relevant to the ending of the show. And the full arc of the saga's mythology.

Is the show perfect? Not at all. Did I enjoy the heck out of it and can appreciate what it actually did? Absolutely yes. Can I appreciate how GOOD it was at storytelling? Hell yes.

It was a show absolutely centered in women. Good women, bad women, women of color, old women, younger women. The one man was a queer, three-year old in the body of a 16 year old. And mind you, this character has been making queer history, since his very recent creation (2005). This show is unapologetically queer, we had a huge ass Trans flag that said Protect trans kid in huge black letters being very prominent in the shots. It's HUGE, and not even by marvel/disney standards. The show had nothing to do with coming out, or acceptance, or people dealing with phobia. It was about queer people existing and being queer. Hell, you could make a case that they were saying "being a witch" is an allegory of being queer.

Every single member of the coven could be queer. They hinted at it with Jen, at the very least.

Let's talk about the rest of the coven. Who for me were the absolute highlight of the show.

Alice, generational trauma, the protection witch. The most tragic to me. She saw her curse, as a lie. As something her mother made to neglect her. And yet she couldn't keep a job, she resented her mother, and she had to be reminded of her every moment because her mom was a famous Rockstar. She goes to the road, she comes to terms with her mom's love for her, how her mom's version of the ballad was a protection spell, as much as Alice hated it, and she manages to defeat her curse. She protects her coven. Only to immediately die. Her dialogue with Death was devastating:

Alice: That's it? That's all the... That's all the time I get? Death: If I had a nickel... Alice: This can't be the end. It has to be the beginning. I finally broke the curse. I mean, I can really do something with my life now. Death: You're a Protection Witch. Alice: Yeah. Death: You died protecting someone. You ready? Alice: No.

Heart wrenching, unjust, and beautiful.

Lilia, who was plagued by the gift/curse of seeing her and others destiny. Ignoring it for over half her life, staying stagnant, because she was reeling from the fact that she saw the death of her family, her entire coven, she told them and it changed nothing. She was chased out of villages because she could see the tragedies coming. Who refused to be with a coven, love a coven because the heartbreak of losing her first was too much. Who decided that cheap tricks, was better than seeing the tragedies coming, and refused her gifts. She hated the appropriation of her culture, but when the time came, she accepted it, and moved on. She goes to the road, and finds her coven. "I needed you, my coven." And she died, going back to the start, because she'd rather relieve it all again, the good, the bad and the ugly, that keep neglenting herself. "I loved being a witch".

That without going into the absolute masterpiece that was episode 7. Pulling a non-linear story, as solidly as they did, is certainly not easy. And they did it, beautifully.

Jennifer, who was magick-bound for over a century, to the point that she doubted her knowledge and herself. And yet she made a name for herself, she was a successful entrepreneur (she cheated a little, but you know capitalism is the true villain here). A black woman who was outstanding at her craft, healing and being a midwife, to the point that she became an inconvenience to the fragile, egomaniacal, white men in the medical field. Where they sought out a way to stop her indefinitely. And yet she kept going, and survived. Even at the end of the road. She looked at the person who bound her, and said: "I deny your power over me. You hold nothing." And she unbounded herself, and got out. Not because of Billy or even Agatha but in spite of her. Jennifer survived, just like she has been doing for however many centuries, and she flew towards the sunset. Because 'She's the path ahead'. The growth she had, from being selfish the first few episodes, because that's how she survived, to screaming for Lilia when she decided to stay behind. Jennifer clawed her way out of the road, the bound. And she deserved it.

As for Billy... he's so much like her mother. He accidentally created the road, because he's equally, if not more, unaware of his powers as Wanda. Wanda at least thought she got powers from Hydra's experimentation. Billy isn't even supposed to exist. Billy who was "10 years old" but, realistically like 2 weeks old. Who got thrown into the body of this guy, who he doesn't know, and who doesn't even knows himself, because he doesn't remembers, with powers he doesn't quite understands and then he starts piercing moments of his life together, because he feels this massive hole in his being. And finds his answers on Agatha. He truly believes the road is real, that can take him to someone who while not have the answers, might feel the same way as him. Who was his other half, he doesn't remembers it, but he feels it.

His magick, is like Wanda's, Chaos magick, it manifests without his real knowledge or intention, but by his feelings. He created the road, with all the knowledge he thought he had, the road follows the rules Agatha and Nicky created when they made the ballad. Even if he doesn't know it.

Is the show about Billy? Not necessarily. Billy is important to Agatha, because Billy is Agatha's son now. Not by blood, not even by magic, but by choice. As much as she denies it, her "calculated risk", had something to do in the way she saw Billy, and how she wanted to protect him, in a way she couldn't protect Nicky.

And finally, Agatha. Agatha who built a reputation of killing all her covens. Starting with her mother's. Because her mother sentenced her to death, because she was born evil. And she took that and ran with it. She connived, and betrayed, but she survived, something she's extremely proud of. Do I wish we had seen more of her past? 100%. I wanted to know how she got the Darkhold, how she actually met Rio, how they fell in love. Does not really knowing diminish her storyline? Not at all. Because what we got was really nuanced, and it's going down the hill with people focusing only in the romantic relationship aspect. If anything, I think this is being reductive of Agatha, not Billy. The fact that she needs the love interest for people to focus on her, regardless if that love interest is a man or a woman.

But even then, what did people think it would happen? Agatha Harkness had a romantic relationship with Death itself. It was never going to be a romance, it was always a tragedy. Death who took her son away, Death who gave her time with her son, but never specify how much time. Who then followed her around, torturing her with its presence, and we know Agatha is resentful and can hold a grudge.

Death who kindly stopped for her.

Rio knew Agatha would always resent her, even when she gave Nicky more time, because at the end of the day, she would always had to take him away. As much as it was a kindness to let him be born, to take him while he and Agatha were asleep. She had to take him anyways, and Agatha would never forgive her.

Agatha letting the witchfolk think that she exchanged her son for the Darkhold, or made a deal with Mephisto, and saying it was because "the truth was much worse" had nothing to do with *our* perception of worse. But hers. A powerful witch who couldn't save her son, a woman who couldn't keep her son alive. A witch who let her lover take her son away. Using her son to lure more witches. Then using the song, that her son lovingly created for themselves, to lure even more witches to their doom, just for her to be more powerful and keep living (and potentially still looking relatively young). A song that was special to them, corrupted, because she wanted more power and killing witches, something she knew Nicky didn't like. Witchfolk thinking Agatha got the Darkhold trading her son, was better than what she thought of herself.

She saw Nicky in Billy, how he didn't like killing witches (as accidentally as Billy did), how he mourned, how he somehow still believed in Agatha, even with his barbs at her.

She sacrificed herself, not necessarily because of Billy. But because of Nicky, her boy she couldn't save. And yet here is another boy she loved, not the same but very similarly, one she could save.

Billy didn't manipulate her, (and even if he were to, Agatha would probably be proud of him for that) he's been consistent in wanting to understand Agatha. He's curious. Hell, he didn't even need to come back for Agatha, he had gotten out (wherever out was for him) but he came back, because he cared about Agatha. And if some people can't see that, because he happens to be a he... well, no matter what had happened in the show, those people wouldn't see it any other way.

Agatha becoming a ghost, and immediately seeking Billy, because she loves him, and she likes the way he sees her, not good or innocent, but knowledgeable, and with the potential to do good. And she sees Nicky in him, and his potential too.

There is so much more analysis, and I might share more thoughts later, but for now, this is it. I still wanted more, Agatha's story with the Darkhold, the Salem seven, more of the coven, yet not necessarily for the show or the episodes to be longer, but I would love to see if they expand on this, on another spinoff.

[zepskies]

Hey Zepskies! I'm a small writer but I'm starting on my ficlet about an oc x ben (soldier boy). I've read so much of your work and just think you are a very talented writer. Do you have any tips on writing ben? it can be vague and I know you're busy so I don't expect a response. :)

Hey there!

First off, welcome and thank you for reading my stories (and for that lovely compliment). 💕

As for your question, writing Soldier Boy (Ben) can be very tricky. It took me a while to fully figure out how to write the character, and I will say, it's a challenge every time I do dive back into this (loveable) asshole.

😂 That said, here are 3 main tips I have for writing his character:

1. Comparable archetypes:

When I started trying to do a character analysis of this guy, I started with who he would've likely looked up to and tried to emulate: Frank Sinatra, Humphrey Bogart, Cary Grant, John Wayne, Indiana Jones, John Winchester, and even Dean Winchester to an extent -- the strong, stoic, man of action archetype.

AKA: The Big Swinging Dick™️ in the Room.

These men are leaders, a "man's man," show no pain, weakness, or vulnerability. (So shove those "soft" emotions down your gullet as much as humanly possible. Real men don't cry, amirite? 🙄)

But the fun thing I find about guys like this is, even though they have a hard shell, being able to pierce the armor somehow and get to the creamy center of their heart can be a very rewarding story indeed.

2. The balance of SB's personality:

Based on what we got in season 3 of The Boys, I find that Soldier Boy's personality is a delicate balance of a few key things:

Arrogant Narcissist: He's a massive ego, selfish with a conflated sense of his own importance. Especially before his capture, he's reached the pinnacle of fame. He's bought into his own hype and the backstory Vought created for him, and he assumes that everyone in his life loves him for it.

As Jensen said of his character in Supes Ain't Always Heroes (check out my review of the book here if you like):

“He’s so fragile and his ego is fragile. Just like Homelander. These bigger-than-life powerful heroes really have a glass jaw… “And everyone walks on eggshells around him [Soldier Boy], and they tell him that they love him, and it’s the same with Homelander. Then when all of a sudden he faces his old team and Crimson Countess says we never loved you, we hated you—that’s a gut punch for him. Because even though on some level he may have known that, he never thought he would hear it. “And he probably propped himself up around trying to believe otherwise, because how can you walk around knowing everyone you’ve ever cared about hates you? It’s too painful.” (191)

Womanizing Misogynist: That entire scene with SB and Grace in Nicaragua tells you all you need to know about how Soldier Boy talks to, treats, and views women. 🙄 Again, he's a narcissist, so he assumes women are going to be into him because he's the world's biggest superhero, because he's handsome, because he's that guy.

The problem is, he is devastatingly handsome and impressive as a superhero. And my headcanon is he can be very charming when he wants to be. Again, using his skills as an actor and channelling that old-world debonair charm to get what he wants. (i.e. Cary Grant, etc.)

Violent and Indifferent to Collateral Damage: This is a key one, because this is part of what makes him different from Homelander. SB is not a psychopath. He doesn't necessarily enjoy hurting people. He just doesn't care about the collateral damage.

He also can't tolerate a perceived slight to his masculinity or status, like when Black Noir tried to rise up in the ranks and come into his own as a movie star. Soldier Boy, in his selfishness, saw that as Noir trying to come for his crown, in a sense, which is why he ultimately showed his mean streak through violence.

When he gets back to the U.S. after escaping Russia, he's on a warpath of vengeance against his team who sold him out, and anyone who gets in his way.

"If they have it coming," he tells Hughie.

3. Soldier Boy is both less and more than what he represents: (AKA: His insecurities)

As we know, Soldier Boy didn't really storm Normandy or fight the Nazis. He falls short of every definition of a hero. However, he's also not just a caricature of toxic masculinity.

Ben has deep-seated insecurities that he buries under all the bravado and the Soldier Boy persona. He was also emotionally abused by his father, who set exacting standards for what it meant to be a man.

It drives Ben to try and prove his worth to his father, though he’s never able to. It fosters the lack of self-worth he feels as he seeks validation through fame and what he believes power to be.

He won’t be one to easily admit he’s wrong, or need help, or express emotions he deems are “soft.” He doesn’t want to look weak or demean himself, let alone be genuinely vulnerable, despite likely wanting that connection with someone.

He uses coping mechanisms like drugs to mask and dull his PTSD, but even in his heyday, I think he drugs and parties hard just to pass the time, and to mask how actually empty he is inside. He has no real love in his life, and no family. It's why he admits to Hughie that he wanted kids. Deep down, he wants a family to fill that void that fame, booze, drugs, and meaningless sex can't fill in his life.

So with all of that flawed, internal mess that is Soldier Boy, the biggest challenge I find as a romance writer is trying to keep all of these aspects of his character, while trying to show the glimmers of the humanity in Ben -- the chink in his armor showing just enough softness to the one person who's brave enough to "try" with him.

That said, I hope all of this helps! 💚

[cepheusgalaxy]

look guys i very strongly disagree with the "trans men hold privilege over trans women" point of view and i'm finally able to articulate why:

I think trans men don't hold privilege over trans women, because privilege is kind of a consistent thing.

Like, bear with me: I'm an abled person. I have privilege in relation to disabled people. Because, if me and a disabled person are in a Situation where this distinction is relevant in some way...I'm literally never gonna come out with the worst hand. Never. No matter what the situation is. This is a consistent fact.

Now, when we talk about different transgender identities, I think this gets more shady, because the "who has privilege in relation to who" is a relative statement. One example I saw of people explaining why in their view trans man have privilege over trans women is kind of like this: Imagine there are two passing and stealth trans people, a trans man and a trans woman, in a workplace. Then, it comes a coworker, being blatanly misogynist. Regardless of their views on trans people, in this situation, the trans woman is gonna get the worst of it, in relation to the trans man, because he will be viewed as a man.

It makes sense, and I don't think this hypothetical situation is inaccurate or anything, but I'd also like to point out why it doesn't work as a good point to why transmascs have privilege over transfems. Imagine we change about any variable in this situation. Let's say the trans woman is closeted as a guy, and the trans man is openly transgender. The misogynist coworker then would very much target the trans man in their points, especially if they are particularly transphobic. Now imagine both of them are out and openly trans, with the bonus that now both the man and the woman are gnc. Depending on other specifics, the misoginyst coworker might be bigoted to just one or both of them.

Like, do you see? In different situations, the different trans people have the worst hand. So that doesn't mean that because of the first case, trans men have it generally better. Because there are many kinds of trans men, and simply not all of them have privilege over trans women. In some cases, they might even have it worse precisely because they are trans man. So the privilege the trans man in the first example has is not a consistent thing over trans man! Maybe it's common, I don't know, but when we compare it with someone who has real privilege, like me, an abled person, I ain't ever encounter myself in a situation where I'm having it worse because I am abled in comparison to someone who is disabled.

That's why I think trans woman and trans men simply don't hold privilege over one another, simply because it varies. It depends on who the trans men and women are, it depends in what situation they are in, it depends on the people around them, it depends of so much!!! So saying that trans men have privilege over trans women sounds simply surreal!

I think that, also, the different patterns of the situations in which trans woman have it worse are important to be discussed, and that's why we have the word Transmisoginy, to discuss these issues pertinent to the nuanced oppression trans woman face (and on a similar note, that's why it's also important to have fucking words like Transmisogynoir, because a black trans woman's Situations will be different from a white trans woman's Situations and it's important to to recognize that). THAT's why I also think that we need words like Exorsexism and Transandrophobia, to identify the patterns of situations where trans men have it bad precisely because they are trans men and not something else or because nonbinary people have it bad precisely because they are nonbinary.

SO, in short, my opinion on the "trans man have it generally better than trans woman and that's why they have privilege" debate is that trans man don't generally have it better than trans woman, but some trans man in specific situations have it significantly better than trans woman and that in other situations trans woman have it significantly better than trans man and that is basically a case-to-case scenario and that's also why we need the specific words for different shapes and faces of transphobia to better understand these cases and why x happens with y at z situation. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[maeaniseyas]

The Star Wars fandom has never gone this hard or been this invested in any Asian or Black character, ESPECIALLY a Black woman. The Star Wars fandom has never been going this hard for an interracial relationship involving no white people. So for me yeah, it is pretty telling that now is the time some people are deciding to declare everyone lacks media literacy because allegedly we can't tell or admit a man is a bad person because people are sooo blindsided by his looks.

It's the same exact way people adore Anakin/Vader, Maul, Kylo, Revan, Shin, etc. But now that a South East Asian man is playing the Sith y'all suddenly have to "suffer" seeing him a lot and people enjoying his character? When I called out the person who made the og post, they said "I didn't mention Qimir and wasn't only talking about him" like k bro....I know you think everyone but yourself is an idiot or something but just know I'm not and that I know there's no coincidence you literally TAGGED that post as "the acolyte". The claim it was only tagged as "The Acolyte" because it's the "most recent example" is total BS. You purposefully tagged The Acolyte, Acolyte Spoilers, Qimir, Osha Aniseya, ALL OF IT because you weren't talking about the fandom with ships and dark side characters as a whole, you were specifically talking about The Acolyte, Qimir and Osha.

And yeah, it definitely does feel racially coded. Everyone knows this show, the creator and the actors have been enduring a MASSIVE racist, misogynist, and homophobic hate campaign against this show for literally over a year before it even aired, and you have people making posts about how UNBEARABLE it is that they're going to have to see the fandom be obsessed with a sith played by a handsome Filipino and be excited over Oshamir, an interracial ship involving no white people but a Black woman and an Asian man, as if Star Wars fans have a good track record of treating characters of color well. It IS adding to the overall negativity of the show and convincing others not to watch it for your petty little reasons when this is without a doubt the best show Star Wars has released yet on Dinsey+ and by far the most diverse. Have any criticisms you want about The Acolyte, it's totally fair, but this "criticism" I'm referring to was just an attack on people enjoying the show, claiming stupid shit like a "lack of media literacy" over something everyone already knows like the fact Qimir isn't a good guy. Here's something that might shock y'all: we know, AND WE DON'T CARE.

Anyway I hope Oshamir, Qimir, and Osha continue to pop up on these peoples timelines and continue to make things unbearable for them. Because if enemies to lovers is all good when it involves someone like Shin and Sabine, but not when it involves Qimir and Osha, then you're a hypocrite and not to be dramatic your life deserves to be unbearable if that's really what does it.

[heavenlymorals]

Why are you always trying to paint Arthur as a misogynist? When he clearly isn't??? I like your posts by why do you hyper fixate on stuff like that?

Hello anon and thanks for the ask.

Well, quite simply, I "paint" Arthur as someone who actively believes in and enforces gender roles because he does so in the game. It's a part of his writing and his character. The canon Arthur is NOTHING like how the fandom here on Tumblr portrays him as. That's also a reason why I started making these posts because I honestly hate when fanon becomes the accepted truth of characters and not the actual canon. It happens all the time.

I'm a very pragmatic person and this will show in my posts. I don't care about what characters COULD be and I focus more on what they ACTUALLY are. That's why my retrospective posts are usually looked at through a psychological, sociological, cultural, feminist, and/or literary point of view. I look at characters and learn things about them through their actions and words, as well as the time period that they are a part of. I do not care at all about making characters seem morally better, especially when it comes to historical attitudes because those historical attitudes aren't as historical as we make them out to be.

They still affect us every single day and only recently have we started pushing back- that's also not mentioning cultures where these attitudes are STILL encouraged, which then changes the way people think. Understanding historical attitudes allows us to understand not only our own cultures better, but people as well and why they do the things they do.

Now let's talk about Arthur. Arthur is a man born in 1863. Women couldn't even get a credit card by themselves without a man till 1974. To put it quite simply, he lived in a time era where women had almost 0 rights and those women who did succeed in life usually had some sort of male support. People supported this system, both male and female. Did you know that when the suffrage movement began, most American women didn't give a fuck because they believed that was men's duties, not their own? Point is is that even if Arthur is a lot more lenient regarding this stuff, he still actively believes in it because of how pungent it was in the society he lived in.

The first mission we have with the female gang members is heading to Valentine. The first thing he says to them is whether Miss Grimshaw could spare them from their domestic chores, already showing that in the gang, the girls' main duty is the domestic work and that Arthur supports this. Later in that mission, when he chases down Jimmy Brooks, he puts Uncle in charge of bringing them back home, even though he is an old ass man and they are three young, healthy, and capable women. In one mission, you got two examples of Arthur being an active encourager of gender roles.

And then there is Sadie- when she expresses her frustration over the work she has to do, he tries to shut her down. When she gets her pants, he mocks her: "You get a pair of pants and all of a sudden you think you're Landon Ricketts?" When she asks Dutch when she can go robbing with them, both him and Dutch laugh her off. When they bust John out of prison, he does it with her cuz literally no one else would help him and when they escape on the boat, he gets visibly annoyed that she doesn't take his hand. There are even more examples of things like this when he antagonizes her, but that's just the main game.

And there is the antagonizations of women performers. "Women shouldn't be doing this." "Go make someone some supper." "Go back to the kitchen." "This ain't ladylike." I'm sorry, but these need no explanations. His antagonize lines are just as canon as his greet lines and the fact that he says stuff like that shows that he believes in gender roles. It's an active part of his belief system.

There are so many more examples of this and the majority of them are subtle but I come from a culture that still treats its women like the 1800s treated theirs so when I ever pick up on these things, it's cuz I've lived it before.

And my final point- this is a historical game. Rockstar made sure to be as accurate as they can in regards to the time period- so characters not only react to historical attitudes but they are a part of it as well. Same goes for Arthur. He's a historical character with a historical background and historical attitudes- and that comes with the good, like chivalry, and the bad, sexism. You shouldn't play a game like RDR if you're expecting characters to feel modern in their thought processes.

Thank you and have a great day.

[kursedmayo]

I HATEEEE it when people say Falin and Laois are EXACTLY THE SAME. NO THEY ARE NOT, WHAT.

LISTEN TO ME.

Falin is soft spoken. Shes the type to get spoken over. Her presence is faint and she's hyper conscious of other people's emotions and very much empathetic- up to the point that she would retract herself to make room for other people and generally more than self-sacrificial, her first thought is to rush into danger without considering it- unlike her brother who will at least analyze the situation first. This is why people like her so much, it's because she knows how to temper herself. She's wouldn't come off as intrusive, she doesn't dump people information about something unless they show her interest first. She's weird, but she stays out of people's business. That's Falin.

Laois is different. He doesn't mask- or at least, he rarely does, and he's a lot less aware of people's true emotions because he spent his childhood ostrasized and unable to connect with other people. This is why he's too much, he's overcompensating from everything he went through. Now that he's a bit safer from petty bullies and has some friends, he lets himself blurts things out and generally rarely considers how other people would perceive his words before he says or does things, because that's how we went through his entire life. This is why he accidently says offensive things without meaning to. From what I can tell from the Manga, he still wants to befriend people while not being able to understand them as much as monsters, so unlike Falin he's more likely to overstep people's boundaries and speaking over them while attempting to get closer- something which can bother people because they get trapped in a conversation where they don't want to be in, like Toshiro/Shuro.

(I also think this is why he was in such disbelief when Kabru said he was interested in Laois and wants to know him, because usually it's always the other way around.)

People like Falin more not just because she's a girl but because she's empathetic, calm and knows how to handle people despite being odd, so she comes off as charming. People don't like Laois because he's more hyper- especially if he likes you and is taking about his interests, PLUS he's not just odd he very obviously acts and says freaky shit, so it's easier to dislike or be annoyed with him.

Disclaimer, I don't dislike him, he's a wonderful character with relatable issues and to be honest, he kinda reminds me heavily of a friend of mine actually, but as someone who relates more to Falin I HATE the fact that the story spends so much time building up what Falin is like only for people to say that "SHES BASICALLY A CARBON COPY OF LAOIS!!!".

It kinda reeks of accidental misogynistic fandom behavior because tell me why you are unable to seperate a woman from her familial relationship and similarities with a man instead of awknowledging her as her own person even though the fucking story built up Falin's characterization over the chapters as someone who is CLEARLY different although similar to her brother.

GOD. I'M SO TIRED.

[lgbtlunaverse]

For all the discourse and sordid history of feminine clothes in period fiction or period-inspired fantasy and action stories– from endless misconceptions about corsets to the backlash where people will now complain if a female character has anything negative to say about skirts– I'm still starved for a character that crossdresses because she actually likes the way men's clothes look.

Like. In basically all the cases I've seen over the years, the reasons given for the characters' distate for feminine fashion are purely practical. "Corsets are restrictive, you can't move freely in skirts, feminine fashion is all form no function!"

And while writers often get it wrong and exaggerate how uncomfortable these clothes really were to a sometimes comical degree– you know what? Sometimes it's true! Cycling in a skirt is hard and inconvenient which is why victorian women started wearing split skirts or cycling breeches. (Which was hugely controversial to the men of the time) But like... that was, in fact, feminine fashion. Female cyclists weren't dressing like men they were just wearing a new kind of women's fashion.

Indeed, none of these characters seem to actually like masculine clothes, they give the impression that what they really want to wear is... modern women's fashion. (Which is why this kind of writing often feels anachronistic)

More than that, there is the underlying assumption that while historical women's fashion is governed by aesthetic, men's fashion is governed by use. Caring about how you look is a silly girl thing, unlike rational men who only care whether something works! Which is just... complete horse shit. Men care a lot about how they look, always have, and most masculine fashion trends cannot be explained by practicality any more than women's fashion can. It's a complete lie, based in misogynistic gender roles, that I wish wasn't repeated by media trying to be feminist. (Especially since these heroines always just happen to still be conventionally attractive– and, surprise, feminine– because everyone wants a woman who doesn't care if she's beautiful, but no one wants a woman who... actually isn't beautiful.)

If you talk to any real life butch, they love the way masculinity looks. They think they look hot! They think other butches look hot! There is a real love for masculine style there, that's just completely fucking... absent in most fiction. Because caring about your appearance a feminine trait, duh 🙄

There's an article I love in dressing dykes about Anne Lister, a real life historcial butch. And the way she incorporated masculine fashion didn't involve pants at all. It was in things like leather straps on her umbrella (customary only for gentlemen at the time) wearing men's braces, and dressing entirely in black as was fashionable for menswear but not womenswear. All of these are stylistic decisions. She did it because she liked masculinity.

If all your medieval-inspired fantasy heroine wants is practicality she'd probably start by mimicking the style of working class women. Because you know. Women worked. Women have always worked. And so they had to wear clothes suited for manual labour. There's a lot of interesting things you can do with class there, and she probably will be accused of being 'unladylike' by her environment anyway! But if she's gonna wear men's clothes, please consider letting her like them.

I'm just want an actual goddamn butch main character (or even a genuinely masc straight girl) and I'm tired of repeating the myth that men's clothes are these neutral canvasses of practical use with zero elements of style. (I have eyes! I can see that that's untrue!) Or that it's preposterous that a woman might... genuinely like these stylistic elements. That she might want to look like a man.