#...dude right in front of my asexuality??????

[kawaiibarty]

UMMM if this is not an intrusive question, could you pls explain the process of you transitioning? Like whatever made you feel you were with the wrong body? And how did it bother you sm? This is plain curiosity. If u wish pls help me understand.

ahhhh hi hi it's not intrusive at all!

so for me it was really something that took time for me to understand because i didn't know that people were allowed to feel different yk

when i was a child i wore boys clothes because it made me feel happy, during playtime i called dibs on the boy characters, my avatars in video games were exclusively male.

i felt really uncomfortable wearing certain things like skirts and certain shirts and even different types of shoes. my mom said i was really picky and difficult about it lol.

for a while i sort of started wearing skirts and stuff, around 11 to 13 yrs old but, idk it was an odd period for me. i just wanted to be someone my mother liked yk. anyway, for most of my schooling id been in an all girls school up until gr7 when i moved cross country and schools. this new school was co-ed and it was really weird because i felt excluded a lot of the time because i wasn't...yk i didn't act like most of the girls and the people i thought id fit in with didn't like the way i did things LOL. i just felt alienated and like an imposter because i wasn't doing....girl right? iykwim

then i went to highschool a year later and i was shoved back into an all girls class for two years where i realised i properly like girls, except i thought i was homophobic because i didn't like the lesbian label or the bisexual label even though id tried out both at some point. it was like, i know i like girls and i haven't liked a guy properly but that doesn't make me lesbian because...but what if it does because im a girl, right? (spoiler alert, i do like guys and i realised that i could use the label queer without it being a slur also cue asexuality)

anyway, i was introduced to non-binary and it was a reaaaal relief. im telling you, once i was seen as something that wasn't an uncomfortable little girl it was good. but it still didn't feel right so i toyed around with androgyny except i didn't like how uncertain it made me feel yk?

im not saying that people who are enby or androgynous are wholly uncertain but i didn't want to feel like a poseur because i KNEW what i wanted but i didn't know if it was real.

i dont remember when this happened but somebody introduced me to he/they and they/he pronouns and i grasped onto that and it was okay for a while. still didn't feel like i was going it right because i had long hair and wore skirts and was still called a girl or non-binary and i hated my name and everything about the uncertainty yk? like it just came back out of nowhere

then one day this little boy comes up to me, i kid you not it's a CORE MEMORY for me, but this kid approaches me and he's like "are you a boy or a girl" and i start panicking because im not a girl and i hate being a girl and im not a boy because...i mean i don't even look like one right? so i ask him "what do you think i am?" and he says, without even thinking about "you look like a boy. i think you're a boy." and

yk, ive never smiled so wide in my life. i told him "yeah you're right" and he FISTBUMPS ME and im all giddy and excited and i text my best friend @d-rxse and im like OMGOMG YOULL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED DUDE anyway that was three years ago

then i got moved to a co-ed class

it kind of went to shit after that because as soon as i came out as trans i got a new boyfriend and he had never dated a trans person before so for a while he used he/they pronouns for me and we called each other boyfriends up until maybe april of last year where he told me he was uncomfortable with it

so i was an idiot and threw away all my progress and said "you can call me your gf and use they/them pronouns and she/her in front of your friends" and yeah 👍🏼 progress gone. down the drain.

i fixed it tho, by the end of last year i was so done with his bullshit, i broke up with him a week after school started this year, cut my hair short, changed my name, pronouns and got a new phone. cut him out of my life completely. ive never been happier

[arsonisticartichokes]

https://www.tumblr.com/arsonisticartichokes/783750654948720640?source=share

Those tags!!! Yeah exactly!!! Also canonically Izuku is more emotionally closed off in a "I'm fine I'm fine :) :)" way while Katsuki has expressed vulnerability and even cried in front of Izuku. His character isn't just "24/7 angry™". If someone needs to show vulnerability it's Izuku. He had his one moment of "I relate to you because I wanted to save a villain too" with Ochako and then nothing at all. We don't even get his perspective on losing his quirk. He must have had some negative feelings upon losing his quirk and having to change his dreams about his future, right? And 100% agree with you, the way dkbks act like sexual intimacy and being a bottom is the only way to be vulnerable genuinely pisses me off besides their mischaracterisation and constant shitting on bkdks. They also get pissed off when Katsuki is portrayed as a yearner for some reason when he's literally a yearner canonically.

OH MY GOD AN EXCUSE TO YELL ABOUT THIS- iodsiofhoisf YES YES YES

I completely agree with you anon. Like I said in those tags I'm ace personally so I don't care all that strongly about the top/bottom dynamic for the sake of smut. If people wanna write bottom Izuku or bottom Katsuki cause it's what they have in mind for their fantasy/story then go off, your cup of tea not mine (/lh). When it becomes a conversation about "oh, you know this character's a bottom cause they suck at being emotionally available!" I get very annoyed. To me it almost reads as a little degrading to the character's writing and fails to take into account a lot of the deeper perspective of them. I think, by the end of MHA, bkdk really does swap positions and Izuku becomes the one who struggles to make himself emotionally available while Katsuki is learning to embrace that. Hell, in 430 (before he gets his hero suit) Izuku literally internally monologues about how he is sad yet forces himself to settle! Izuku is incredibly out of touch with his own feelings, and I think the car conversation in 431 (as much as I try an pretend that chapter doesn't exist- lol /lh) shows that Katsuki is much more intune with Izuku feelings then Izuku is. Izuku has a bleeding heart, he always cared for Katsuki (Kacchan vs. Deku part 2 being I think the prime example) and those around him. By the end of the series though Katsuki wants to care for him right back, he understand the pain and emotional turmoil Izukku is in and wants to protect him and help him get that out.

Whether you personally believe that would translate to their bedroom dynamics is obviously a matter of opinion (again, I don't really care, all I'm here to defend is the way people misconstrue my beloved green and orange husbands lol /lh) but I honestly think it just...shouldn't matter much? Bakudeku is beautiful cause they are one another's person, they share a history and unspoken vulnerability, and an ability to see the pain and humanity in one another. I hate seeing their character's washed away into "soft bunny boy who wants his kacchan!!" and "angry bottom who needs Izuku to put him in his place!!". Their dynamic is so much more beautiful than that and deserves to be respected and loved.

Also yeah, I don't wanna group all dkbks together (some of them just be chilling writing their stories and making neat fanart! :D), but I've definitely seen some of what you're talking about, the hate and mischaracterization is....crazy at times lol. We're all just trying to enjoy the same character's, it sucks to see some people shove their interpretation down other people's throats as if it's the only "correctt" one. They're BOTH strong, they BOTH admire one another, and they ABSOULTY BOTH yearn for each other (like dude, Katsuki at the end of MHA is winning biggest yearner 100% lol /silly).

Anyways, screw all of you, they're both asexual lmao (/j /silly /I do in fact see both of them as asexual personally but enjoy whatever dynamic you want! /just be cool, mate :) /and respect their character growth)

[darkwingerduck]

WIP meme: “so about the alternate dimensions” and/or “idk I just think they’re cute”? (Also predictably seconding the curiosity about “godlike”!)

Godlike has been answered! :D

"so about the alternate dimensions" is a TMNT 2k3 fic in which Don and Mikey discuss recent adventures in alternative dimensions and uneasily grapple with some of the gnarlier implications.

"idk I just think they're cute" is a rare shipfic from The Outer Worlds of all things? What can I say, Parvati and Junlei were, well, [gestures at the not-title].

The TMNT arc that featured the infamous Same As It Never Was episode really loaded fandom up with unending fuel by then proceeding to just move right along onto the next shenanigans and never mention it again. What's that? Don watched bad future versions of his family die gruesomely in front of him? Yeah, nobody needs to talk about that.

...And they kind of still don't, in this fic, because I am attempting to respect the apparently canon tradition Don in particular has of not sharing his more traumatic moments. But I feel like the brothers are too close not to realise things are a little amiss and to prod at him a bit in their own ways.

"Well," Don says slowly, and Mike knows he's got him. "There are a few different theories." He can't help grinning. "Oh boy, theories. Your favourite word." "That would be 'detartrated', actually." Don absently blows a shower of steel shavings onto his sheets, and Mike generously flicks them from there onto the floor because, dude, standards. "And yes, theories. You have to remember, Mikey, as far as almost everyone in our world is concerned? The idea of other universes is just that - an idea. An unproven hypothetical." Mikey tosses an M&M straight into the killbox of his back molars. "So you could seriously blow the minds of nerd city by walking in the door like - 'sup guys! Got some news for you about this whole dimension science thing." "I think it's a given we'd blow minds walking through any door regardless," Don says dryly. "Speaking as a living repository of advanced alien bioengineering." "No way," Mike says. "Aliens are old news now. Everyone's seen aliens. Alternate universes are where it's at." Don makes the kind of face that means he thinks Mikey has a point, and also means he's not super happy about it. And maybe it is sort of a downer. One less mystery left in the universe, and the answer isn't even all that great: the life that exists out there among the stars is just as stupid and petty and violent as the life at home. But hey, at least now they know alien war machines hover.

The Outer Worlds story, on the other hand, is really just straight-forward fluff. The game itself was solidly alright, but it was cool that it had a canonically asexual character, and overall I liked they way they handled it in the context of the romance Parvati then commences with Junlei! I've never really felt compelled to project my own experiences with asexuality onto characters, and that's still the case here. But it was interesting, I suppose, to explore Parvati's.

Junlei reached over, touched her hand carefully. "Will you stay tonight?" Junlei still got so polite sometimes. She didn't altogether get it, Parvati knew, how a kiss could be sweet and all, but it never really burst the same bright, bubbly warmth in Parvati's belly as it did when she sent poetry where Parvati was a star or a flower or a compass on a map; or when she let Parvati braid her hair, sweet-smelling for an evening with soap gifted from the last spaceport; or when they spent a long night-cycle talking about worlds they might visit together someday. Most people wouldn't see any sense in asking Parvati to stay at all, like it was something special - not when sleeping together would more than likely mean doing just that. Only that. But if Junlei didn't understand, it never made her impatient, never made her mean; only careful. And she always asked like it was something special.

[alexiostheweirdovampire]

UhhabajavaisvJxvajzb pin postttt

Hello.

I am Alexios and my pronouns are He/They, and i'm a demisexual transmasc! i also follow Hellenic polytheism :3

I am a minor and i have a boyfriend so please nothing weird. I have a horrible obsession with Flee The Facility on roblox.

Bands/Musicians that I like

My Chemical Romance

EPIC THE MUSICAL

Pierce The Veil

Paramore

Fall Out Boy

Ricky Montgomery

Cavetown

Arctic Monkeys

Good Kid

Vienna Vienna (pls go listen to them omg)

Alec Benjamin

Surf Curse

Chappell Roan

Will Wood/Will Wood and the Tapeworms

The Front Bottoms

Grouplove

Hot Freaks

My favorite games

Roblox

subcategory of roblox

Forsaken

Flee The Facility

Be A Silly Seal

Fruit Juice Tycoon

Minecraft

Stardew Valley

Sally Face

Spider-Man (PS4&5)

The Legend Of Zelda (whole series)

Ace Attorney (whole series)

Cookie Run Kingdom

The Sims

idk man i mostly just play roblox nowadays

Content warnings and stuff I do/don’t post

I post and reblog gory stuff sometimes. I will try to tag accordingly, just be warned.

I do not post or reblog anything explicitly NSFW(the spicy one), but I will occasionally rb suggestive things or asexual memes, I will try to tag as “suggestive content” but tbh i usually just hit the rb button dude idk.

amending this, i do post and repost political content. i have and will continue to hold punk and anarchistic ideas and beliefs. i believe that every human being should have the right to exist, the right to express, and the right to protest. ACAB, From the river to the sea, and may all of us be safe and protected by the gods.

I do curse and occasionally say slurs I can reclaim, (some type of gay pre-T trans man), I probably wont tag bc I forgor.

Feel free to ask anything thats not 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 :3

Thank you for reading!

CYA!!!

-TOTALLY NOT A VAMPIRE

[omniblades-and-stars]

🍕 ❤️ 💚 🧠 for Korak and Crash pls I’m having a weird day and they’re comfort characters for me

I'll bring you the good stuff for our beloved saints Crash and Korak just for you Korbs.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

Crash: I already answered this elsewhere, but now I am on my phone because I have to pretend to do my job, so I will copy it here.

"There is an elcor street food vendor on Omega that serves the best food out of a giant pot that Crash has ever tasted. She doesn't know what's in it (he must have told her a hundred times, but she's pretty sure it changes every time), but it's delicious."

Korak: OK, I made up a food one time and I can't even remember if I fucking named it because of who I am as a person. Basically, it's like a goulash, heavy on that one little snippet of world building Bioware gave us about there being a spice called ignac native to Khar'Shan, and full of all sorts of delightfully weird alien veggies. Korak is also quite fond of sukiyaki he's found.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Crash: I gave an answer for Crash already, but she's such a joyful person, let's hit you with another. (I am coming up with this off the dome by the way.)

There was a young turian kid living on Omega who she knew well because his family lived in the same building as she did and he was often left unattended (latch key kid sort of situation). One day he comes to her crying because he can't find his ragged little stuffed varren toy.

Well, she went looking for it and found it pretty easily, the little scamp had dropped it just outside and it had gotten kicked out of the footpath. But instead of just giving it right back to him, she set up a little adventure/mystery for him to go on with her to rescue his toy.

They went mucking through the jungles of Sur'Kesh (the back alley behind the mega-complex) but alas! He was not there! So they trudging through the deserts of Tuchanka (an abandoned lot in front of an empty warehouse) and broke into the crumbling ruins of the evil krogan warlord's secret base (the warehouse) where they had a very intense imaginary battle to rescue the stuffed animal. Burn took a nasty wound to the snout, but our little turian hero was there to save the day and patch him up!

The best thing about this story is that her little buddy grew up and got off the station before it dragged him down or killed him like it so often does for so many others.

Korak: The first Nos Astra sunrise that Korak saw when he and Aumellio left Omega behind together. It was a simple thing. They were staying in a cheap hotel, didn't even have a place to actually live yet, all of their possessions condensed into a few not very large boxes. But leaning against a balcony rail together, watching a new beginning literally light up before them.

Cheap hotel coffee tastes really good when there's hope on the horizon.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Crash: You know, it's an interesting thing to think about, how krogan perform gender. The examples we get canon-wise in game, krogan society is deeply gendered at least culturally. The women have their own clans, their own spiritual practices even. Crash rejected all of that. She left Tuchanka which it seems like not very many krogan women do. She wears armor and has no desire to live like the women on her homeworld do. But she still identifies as "female" for whatever that might mean. If we base all of what we know of krogan females on Urdnot Bakara, one might say she's gender non-conforming at the very least.

Though I suspect all of this is just another failure on Bioware's part to include non-cis-male aliens in their initial world building.

Crash is firmly asexual and aromantic. (She does however like romance stories but she won't tell you that.)

Korak: Korak is a cis dude, and he's very much a gay man. There's not a lot to elaborate on there, he's a pretty simple guy.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

Fuck how am I supposed to choose?

Crash: I think my favorite thing about Crash is how sure she is of herself and her joy. She made a conscious decision a very long time ago to live in a way that made her happy, made her feel fulfilled, and she does it with all of her hearts because she knows she's doing what she wanted all along.

Korak: My favorite thing about Korak is that he's actually a bit of a sweetheart and he's so lost trying to be a good dad, but goddammit he is giving it all he's got.

Plus he's kind of a hunk.

[something-awful1]

my thoughts while rewatching all of Helluva Boss in honor of the S2 trailer PT 5 (getting this one out last minute let's goooo)

WESTERN ENERGY - i remember this one :/ - i hate andrealphus oh my god - dude the tone of this is so off - how is bro staying on this horse he's like levitating - blitzo's little laugh omg pop off brandon rogers - reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally can't say that word anymore - i hate this goat's voice - oh it's vivienne - this song is so bad kill me now - no cause i actually hate the pacing of this episode - oooo classism, how fun - bro why did the dude call moxxie "queer boy" im sobbing - this dialogue kill me now - i don't even have words i hate this - i feel like this scene is only here bc A) they wanted ed bosco to sound sexy B) they're not allowed to show what happens during the full moon - hate this sequence - hate it - am i the only one who thought andrealphus talking to his sister the way he does it... kinda weird? like it gives me such a weird vibe - "you're so lucky you're attractive" WHAT THE FUCK - your sister is not your "fiery vixen" stfu elsa - okay but bryce pinkham is popping off again he makes this episode worth watching - dude this episode is so heavily censored what's happening - EW THE FIGHT SEQUENCE MAKES ME WANNA KMS OMG - i hate the music change - idk why watching moxxie fight is so visually satisfying though - "hey let's play a game! how many times can we make the same sex joke over and over again in one episode?" -vivienne, probably - how does such a bad episode have such a good ending. like genuinely i'm so mad about this because the whole "stolas got hurt?" thing and the hospital scene at the end is so PERFECT and if the episode were just written better, it would've been amazing

UNHAPPY CAMPERS - i kinda like the opening sequence ngl - perfectionist moxxie, we stan - okay but like... why did they choose to be siblings - this is.... so cringe - dude the double standard is CRAAAZY - i hate this number so much kill me now - like we wanted millie to get a solo but.... not this. god, not this - HELP WHY IS THE "moxxie sobbing uncontrollably" SUBTITLE SO FUNNY TO ME - i'm so lost - "child screams in futility" - this is a cool fight sequence though - tf is this song - HELP THE CAPTIONS - "like it's so graphic" "there goes the tube top" "exhibitionism activated" I'M SOBBING - stop being mean to moxxie where did the truth seekers character development go OOPS - love the opening music - guys alex brightman is at it again - imagine betting flustered by your own dirty comment OZZIE - DICKS IN THE VAN - queives >>> - i love this episode, like i'm not gonna have a lot of commentary because i just wanna watch it - were those condoms that just flew out of his pants? - "birdy babe" i love him omg - OWL IN A CAGE INSTRUMENTAL SPOTTED - wow ngl kinda ballsy to play a video sent by fizz in front of stolas, ozzie - wow these two are both like... idiots - they both have like... the worst kept secrets in hell - help i love the dialogue in this episode so much - wow blitzo would EAT at pool - i remember everyone theorizing for YEARS about the fire and when this episode came out we weren't even surprised because we got it right so we were all like.... "yeah" - "fizz fighty sounds" - real ones remember "i'm getting paid to write this" - YALL READY FOR ONE OF THE BEST SONGS IN THE SERIES - yeah i said it, look at this is one of the best - it's up there with owl in a cage and you will be okay - why is it always "wyd" and never "THE SECRET TO BITCOIN COMPUTERS AND MICROCHIPS-" - crimson's confused face during the italian bit is so funny - ALESSIO DOES A MOM HAND AT CRIM - stiker going slowly insane is so cool to watch omg - stan asexual king striker - "get fucked little one" are we talkin to the lawyer dude or fizz... - i love that episode so much MAMMON'S MUSICAL MID SEASON WHATEVER THE FUCK - YALL I AM SO TIRED - so exhausted - fuck you mammon - written by vivienne medrano - i have no thoughts i just love this episode - like the pacing is SO GOOD - i need a therapist fizzy ngl - "if you wanna fuck em' you can!" and then IMMEDIATELY says "fizzy for the kids" i'm sobbing - "royal big man" BLITZO I LOVE YOU - HOUSE OF ASMODEUS INSTRUMENTAL SPOTTED - okay but ozzie's "undercover" outfit.... doesnt eat - OKAY MAMMON HAS SOME AMAZING SOUND EFFECTS WHY COULDN'T WE DO THAT FOR ALASTOR IN HAZBIN - i love this dialogue so much - i hated juggling iz cool when i first heard it but it grew on me - it's catchy - ill be honest i don't really get the clown contest thing - cue the cutest sequence in any helluva episode ever - i can't put into words how much i love the asl scene - sir your ass is out - klown bitch also grew on me after a while - BUT LIKE SERIOUSLY I DON'T GET THE CLOWN COMPETITION??? LIKE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY, RIGHT? RIGHT? WHY IS IT JUST A CONCERT - literally zoned out through the entirety of crooked - like it's okay but they deserved a WAAAAAAY better number - THIS SONG SLAPS THOUGH - TWO MINUTES NOTICE HAS MY HEART - literally zoned out for all of this i should sleep omg - blitzo is out here asking the important questions

I'M FINALLY DONE

happy full moon ya'll <3

[asksuccubussides]

What if you were an asexual succubus, wouldn't that be fucked up or what Chapter 3

Masterpost of chapters

(Cw: There's a short Remus section towards the end with imagined violence and references to sex)

Etymology, psychology, Hauntology. These were all topics that Janus adored and he'd managed to fit them all into a single essay assignment. He should be bursting with the urge to write about it, But he wasn't.

He was sitting in bed with an empty word document open in front of him. Even though it was nearing noon he still hadn't changed from his night time clothes and a headache was building at his temples from staring at the screen for so long.

The thing was that he could clearly see in his mind each sentence he wanted to write to the point that he could vizualise every word one after the other. It was only when it came to actually moving his fingers to type it out that he froze. All his teachers had always-

"Dude! I think I just found even more proof that def proves that the occult is real!" Virgil exclaimed while barging in through the door.

Virgil's voice was constantly hoarse and he always smelled slightly of coffee and cigarettes even though Janus had never actually seen him smoke. While he carefully closed the door behind him his black bangs hung down in front of his eyes, like if the monster from the ring had short hair, and his overly big hoodie loosely clutched around his shouldero like usual. He always looked like he'd either sprinted away from a tornado just now or hidden away like a mouse for 5 hours.

He was a man who desperately wanted to slouch until he was invisible stuck in the body of a tall, boney and annoyingly noticeable man.

"Ough...I wasn't uhh interrupting you was I?" he asked when he noticed Janus sitting with the word document open.

Janus immediately closed the laptop and threw it aside "most definitely not! In fact I have done absolutely nothing today except for wait for someone to disrupt me"

"Great. Okay so dude I was checking up on some of my normal paranormal sites yeah? And I found this video. Definitive proof I'm telling you"

While Virgil took out his phone to show him Janus moved the blanket on the bed aside to make room for the other man to crawl under. (Like they always had done when they were kids). Though Viv just took an awkward look at Jan before sitting down on the floor with his back leant against the bed so Jan had to lean over his shoulder to see the video.

It was some grainy cctv footage taken of a parking lot during a late night. A seemingly normal person walked past but stopped by a random part of wall far away in the distance. After a few seconds it sort of looked like the person walked through the wall and disappeared.

"See? Ghosts!"

"Oh please, I could manually count the amount of pixels in that video. It's just a trick of the light. Besides Virge your source evaluation is horrible, it could be an edited youtube video for all you know"

"Right. let me just get a peer reviewed paper out about this 20 second video out real quick"

"I'd be one of the peer reviewers if you asked me to" Janus replied with a smile.

"Duh dude. I know you would be. Not like you have anything better to do"

Jan fake gasped "A daring accusation! A proper rude one as well! For your information my schedule is incredibly packed!"

"Yeah yeah" He waved his hand around while rolling his eyes "Anyway, I got an update on that ufo sighting as well"

--

The morning after Remus had fed he woke up in a groggy haze with his eyes all in blur and with his head feeling like it had been stuffed with cotton. Roman had been sitting beside his bed but as soon as she saw that her brother had woken up she left without even giving him a chance to say anything.

Instead Remy had stayed by his side for the rest of the morning, or the equivalent to morning that hell had. They hadn't asked about the feeding or what had happened afterwards. They had just laid down next to him in bed and started telling him about the latest gossip and drama between the various succubi.

Eventually Remus put on some background music, (an experimental band from the rage circle that used stuff like bones and bottles of piss as instruments), and started making paper-war machines while listening to them talk. He only butted in with a comment or dirty joke every now and then, the important thing was that they knew he was listening.

"Soo like yeah girlie. That's the tea. Their breakup was so messy they both got sent to heaven. Fucking rough. Think that's all for now. Wanna switch?"

"Yayayay! Ranting time"

The friends swiftly changed positions so Remy chose the music (they put their hand against the speaker so they could feel the bass) and Remus set aside his paper makings to focus on rambling and stimming. He began to tell them about the latest torture methods he'd come up with which included showing them the paper models he'd made of the torture devices.

'But like who you torturing?

'Humans! Oh and angels!"

'Not angeeelllss' Remy pouted a little 'They're so cute'

'Your whole brain is a tumor dude'

'Even with a tumor brain i would still be hotter than you.....Also what's a like tumor?'

Remus shone up at the chance to explain 'Well to make a long story longer it was discovered in-'

'Great girl just keep talking just like that' Remy laid down with their head against his chest and closed their eyes with a relaxed smile playing on their lips.

"You can't even read my lips from the- Eh whatever. Imma just keep ranting" He laid his arms around their back and kept talking.

Remy could still remember the sound of Emile's voice but by the time the twins appeared they had long since been deaf. If they focused really hard they could sort of make out an idea of what Remus' voice should be like. The way his chest heaved in for heavy breaths bretween quick and jumbled sentences. They way his neck and throat moved when he spoke. The amount of lip movement he did.

They liked to think of his voice as shrill and annoying in the best way. His voice should be quite high in constrast to Roman's deeper though just as expressive voice.

It took Remus poking at them several times for them to actually open their eyes again and to their happy surprise they saw that Emile had come back. They could read on his lips that he said "The new puppy hell hounds were so precious! You two really have to go see them later"

"Sup slut" Remy greeted while wrapping their hand around their partner's tie to bring him closer.

"Hi honey" He gave them a quick kiss before letting himself be pulled down beside them. Remus immediately showed him the war machines he'd made out of paper and Emile complimented the creativity of it all.

Emile laid his hand against the speaker and felt the bass of the music his lover had choosen. He knew one of Remy's favorite things still was music (no matter how many times demons made snarky jokes about how ironic it was) so whenever his lover put something on he at least tried to 'listen' to it in the same way they did. He let himself feel the instruments pump up from his hand into the rest of his body and let the words being sung melt into melodies of the bass.

'I like this song'

'Yeah duh babe. It's Carly Rae Jepsen, you always like love her....As should everyone'

'I think I saw some demons in the uhmm....whichever ring it was, it sounded similar to hers'.

Remus started to smack his tail against the ground out of boredom as he noticed the couple zoning out into their own little conversations.

It was like watching an old married couple that had slowly grown entangled into each other. Lungs and bones slowly morphing together over the years. Sometimes Remus caught Remy humming on cartoon intros even though they couldn't name the cartoon if asked and even though Emile prefered not to eat or drink he still argued that decaf was the worst kind of coffee one could ever drink whenever it was brought up.

Unlike the succubi Emile didn't have a tail nor the ability to conjure wings. His horns were shiningly light pink and frayed at the ends as if small thorns were protuding out. His skin was so dark it made his smile look like stars in the night sky while his clothes were always in light shades of orange, brown and pink making him look like he was stuck in an outwashed version of the 60s.

He was "Like sooo much man. A lot of man" as Remy put it and when asked said he'd worked as an earth observer some half century and a bit ago which was why he knew so much about humans....Well knew and knew. He'd spent most of his time observing the rise of Disney, Hanna Barbera and animated films and had gotten really into psychology and medicine after having a nasty walk in with Sigmund Freud at a party. He still argued that Remy had been the inspiration for the Sleepy dwarf in Snow white.

"Hi Ro-Ro!" Emile waved as he saw Roman come into the sleeping quarters.

She gave the tiniest of waves back to him before adverting her eyes as far away from her brother as she could. The other three demons watched as she basically jogged past to get to her bed.

"There he comes"

Roman quickly grabbed a change of clothes and jogged out of the room again without even passing another glance to them.

"Aaaand there she goes"

'silent treatment huh' Remy signed to Remus.

'Perfect time to annoy him'

'Pretty sure it's objectivly not' Emile added in.

'What does he know. He goes on and on bla bla bla about how much he enjoys humans' Remus mimicked barfing 'But he's never even eaten enough food to take a shit! I have! I am basically connected to humanity now! The shit is what brings us toge-'.

'Okay gross. Too gross. Go girl. Get outa here'.

There was a mischevious grin on Remus' face as he jumped from the bed and skidadadled out of the room. The couple looked at each other, Emile sighed to which Remy shrugged.

"HeY! Hey! HEY! HEY!" Remus repeated as he ran up alongisde his brother. He kept shouting into her ear even though she did her best to not give any reaction. "Whatcha doing? Where you going? Why you such a pisshat?"

"Can I just get like one day without you" Roman finally replied.

".....Hmmm...Lemme think.....No! Why are you even pissed at me? I didn't even put any bugs in your clothes this time"

Roman stopped midstep and turned to him "I was having a really nice time you know, until I felt you being all miserable and had to come get you because you can't do the job we are literally created for"

"I didn't ask you to come get me??? Dude?? You're blaming me for your own shit"

"Was I just supposed to-" Roman took a deep breathe and looked away again. His hands started to fix the ends of his shirt to have something to distract himself "I'm not gonna do this today! I'm not! I have a really nice dinner with a historian planned and he will listen to me when I gush about historic eras and it will be good and nice and then we're going to see a broadway show and I won't let you destroy that for me!....Bitch!"

"A date with a human" Remus let up into a toothy grin "Sounds a bit patton-ish to me"

"Don't! I am not breaking any rules! I love human culture! I've never loved a single specific human and you know that! Don't you compare me that- that traitor!"

"It's more fun if I do though"

Roman kept walking towards the door to earth "I'm not letting you do this today!"

"You're no fun!" Remus yelled back as his brother slammed the door shut behind him.

--

"I think it should be ethically okay for me to shoot people with an eye laser if they stare at me for too long" Janus muttered out.

He and Virgil were sitting in the corner of the college classroom as hidden away as possible while listening to a lecture on philosophy. Viv had managed to pull Jan out of bed with the threat that he would definitely get failed at this class if he didn't at least show up physically every now and then.

If Virgil wasn't taking notes he either got anxious about forgetting anything important later, or worse, the teacher getting mad at him. Even though he was an adult man who shouldn't get anxious about not meeting the expectations of authority figures. Honestly Viv's obsessive note taking was probably half the reason Janus was still getting through his classes.

An essay should have been turned in to this class a week ago which Janus hadn't even though he could recite it nearly perfectly in his brain.

"A simply lie would do don't you think. College professors are usually nice like that. Not like our middle school teachers" Janus continued to mutter.

"Dude you were just taking the piss to see how far your lying could get you"

"And it got me some very nice stars in my margin! Thank you very much!"

Janus sent his friend a leering smile to which Virgil just rolled his eyes in return.

"Maybe I should have just let you fail this class as well" Viv teased.

"Aw but you loooove me" He made kissy noises while moving to lean his head against his friend's arm but Virgil scooted further away before he could.

The class ended and Virgil sat back and begrudingly watched as Janus hurried to the front of class to talk to the professor. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop Jan even if he tried.

After just a minute or so Janus returned "I got an extension time of two weeks. I told him my poor mum had caught a bad case of tubercolous and I had been faaar too busy taking care of her to have time to finish the essay"

"Your mum is rolling in her grave"

"If we have the same genetics I am quite sure she is cheering me on actually. I'm just the most innocent man there ever was"

"You wanna go to the library and work on it with me? I have thought of the perfect path of getting from here to the library while still stopping by a shop to get coffee While being seen by the least people AND the coffee shop allows app orders. It's a lifesaver"

"Would love to because there is certaintly no chance in the slightest that I will keep procrastinating"

"Obviously dude. Procrastination are what libraries are for"

--

Remus thought once again what humans flesh must taste like. The only time he'd taken a step into a library or ever used a human phone were both times to try and look up what it would taste like.

He thought about the blood spilling out and the veins bursting. He thought about the skin ripping open and giving way to fat and bone. He thought about if that could feed him instead of having to do this stupid fucking succubus shit.

The human had requested oral sex and he'd obliged even though he vastly prefered doing as little as possible because then he could zone out and think about something more pleasant. He had his mouth around the human's genitalia and the image of him twisting his teeth and ripping their genitalia away filled his mind.

He hated the feeling of the human's hands grabbing him. He hated their stupid hotel rooms and their stupid cars constantly making noise and the stupid fan in the background and the stupid overly bright lights and the stupid fuzzy carpets and the stupid perfume they wore and he hated it he hated it hated it. He didn't understand how Roman could love any of this. Any of them.

Bile filled his throat before the human filled it. He choked and sputtered and pushed away to spit it out on the fuzzy carpet. The human requested something else and he followed along. Selfish selfish beings always wanting more. It made their job too easy.

The human was wearing a cross necklace and when it touched his skin it burned. He gnarled like a wounded animal but the human didn't notice. He wished he could hurt them, even just a little. Like how they always pulled his hair and dragged their nails across his skin and spat and slapped and choked. God, sometimes he thought maybe being sent to heaven would be worth it if he just got to mutilate one of them.

-

The human was long gone when Roman entered the hotel room. He looked around for his brother but all he saw was a messy bed and an emptied out mini fridge. His brother must have forged himself on everything, including the plastic wrappers containing the candy. He nearly stepped on a piece of broken glass and groaned as he realized Remus had attempted to crush and eat a bottle again.

"Dukey I already told you that it isn't safe to eat glass or plastic!" She called out to the empty room before deciding to look in the bathroom.

She pushed the door aside and it gave way so easily it nearly fell from it's hinges. Her brother was sitting slumped over in the bathtub with the water up to his ankles and only his socks on. He was repeatedly lighting matches before throwing them in the water to see them fizzle out. Dozens upon dozens of matches were floating like dead fish in the bathtub.

"..Hey" Roman's voice softened if just a little.

Remus turned to her and his eyes were glassy and his face red. A piece of his hair was missing, probably burnt away by one of the matches. She knew what kind of night this would be.

"Let's get you cleaned up" Ro said before putting his arms under his brother's armpits to try and pull him up from the bathtub. Even though he got grossed out by angels he conjured just the tiniest of wings to help give him the strenght needed to pull Remus to a half stand at least. "I would prefer if I didn't have to be your knight in shitty armor all the time you know"

Remus slurred something out about flesh and Roman tried not to reel at the heavy scent of alcohol. He really had emptied the full fridge. She also did her best to not gag at how greasy and sweaty his hair was even when it got pressed against her nice historically accurate corset.

She tried to make him put on his clothes again but gave up as he slumped over like a ragdoll every time she didn't activly hold him up with all her strenght. She settled on putting her coat around him and hoped he wouldn't get too cold.

There was a wound on his hand that blistered and bubbled. Roman got the urge to hug him but reminded himself that Remus was an adult who had to learn his actions had consequenses and that he couldn't be coddled all the time.

"How many times are you going to burn yourself you stUPID-" She stopped herself when her speech turned into a yell and took a deep breathe "You know what happens! You don't have to experiment about it anymore! It's just the same wound every time! I'm going to have to drag you to Emile to get you patched up now! Are you happy!? Do you just want to give me another headache!? Why can you never make yourself sober once you're drunk! You neVER-"

She got close to yelling again and decided it was best to just not speak too much. She held her arm around his shoulders while muttering the phrase to open the door to hell.

".....Even if I don't always like you....I still love you.....You're aware of that right?" She mumbled out while helping him forward.

He just let out another slurred sentence about flesh.

--

"I get worried someone has put a hex on me late at night when I can't sleep y'know? I know it's illogical but it still gives me the hibbie jibbies" Virgil said.

"'Hibbie jibbies' huh? If I had the chance to hex someone I would do it. No hesitation" Janus replied.

It was close to 3 am and they were using one of the college's shared bathrooms as a make-do hair salon. Viv was standing leant over with his head in the sink. At the top of his head his naturally golden blonde hairhad started to peak through so he had to destroy it as quick as possible. Janus was sitting on the sink counter and had plastic gloves on to help massage the black hair dye into Virgil's hair.

"Who would you hex if you could?"

Janus without any second to think immediately said "Billionares. World leaders. Those sorts of people"

"Fair. Fair"

"Dear you're gonna get black dye on your hoodie if you don't-"

Virgil flinched away as Janus moved to lower his hoodie. He backed off so quickly black dye dripped down from his wet hair onto the entire sink.

His hair hung in thick bangs over his eyes as he spat out "It's fine! I got like 20 of these hoodies" He let out a yawn to seem nonchalant "Can you help me out with that" He waved at the now stained sink "I have to shower this out"

"...Sure"

Janus watched as his friend went into one of the showers and drew the sickly blue curtain between them. His bare ankles could still be seen with his light blonde leg hair peeking through. His veins were so noticeable through his pale skin and Janus got stuck watching the way the muscles in his feet moved and how the skin stretched over the bones as he undressed. He stuck his arm out from the curtain and held out his hoodie and boxers.

"Could you ta-"

"No problem" Janus interrupted while taking the clothes.

He folded the hoodie before using all of the paper left in the paper dispenser to try and clean the hair dye stains away. The sound of the shower running filled the room.

Correlation does not imply causation. Janus knew that very well and yet in moments like these he couldn't help but think that a distance had started growing between him and Virgil ever since he came out as gay. The last thing Jan wanted was his straight (and only) friend to get all paranoid over him making a move. The last thing he wanted was to lose him.

Janus and the notoriously straight Virgil are now open for asks!

[tommy2020]

Things I Should Not Have Been Told By Group Home Staff

-“You should watch! It’s good practice for when you’re with _____!” (After me saying I was uncomfortable with s3x scenes in movies)

-“You know, if you don’t do that stuff with him, he’ll find it elsewhere.” (After explaining that I was asexual.)

-“If I was mad, I’d do shit like this!” (She threw a chair and sent us into a flashback.)

-“You don’t look like a boy.” (After telling them yeah, I’m a trans dude. And they proceeded to call me she no matter how many times I or others corrected them.)

-“Do I need to call someone to come pick you up?” (Referring to the cops. I was reporting an abusive staff member and was getting SLIGHTLY angry when I wasn’t listened to about it.)

-“Maybe you need to go to a hospital, is that what you want?” (See above scenario.)

-Made a lot of s3xual jokes in front of/to/about me.

-“You’re lucky you’re not worth me losing my job.”

-*silent treatment for hours on end*

They would also watch extremely s3xual movies around me, including a good few with SA scenes in them. It did not matter if I was uncomfortable, because of course not, right?

BTW during all of this I was still very much a minor. So yeahhh.

[suicidalashley]

dear primrose,

what did we say last night about being in motion, ok? we weren’t joking. your telepathic abilities have landed! that’s why you were having such a hard time lately. you are so excited, and i can see the excitement in your eyes! what to do now? now we say grace and give our prayers to the lord. no, i am not singing a punk song. but it does sound exactly like what i said, so i can see why you would think that. what has been happening to you lately, in your apartment? it is now cleansed of all that is bad in this world. are you a believer? you should be a believer! i’m not joking. you need to pray to the lord. no! i’m still not singing a punk song! i am your priest. didn’t you know that? my name is father eli. what? you like my name? none of the bitches or hoes like father eli’s name. that’s a fucking pity. so get on your hoe down and rock back and front. what the fuck did you just tell my fucking girl? who is this? it’s yoon keeho. she finally had a dream about me last night! she’s never had one. i’m so proud of her and i am going to astral project into her dreams a lot more now. it’s only the right thing to do since it made her so fucking happy. what did you just say to us? we’re reading bible verses right now, ok? gr8. open up to chapter 1 verse 1, please, primrose. what? she’s still using that ghetto ass name? what? primrose is not a ghetto name, and who said that? scary gangsta said that, bitch. what? why are you both acting so insane? she met me in her dream too! what? you were the guy hitting on her? it was so fucking sexy and romantic! yes, we’re going into her dreams now. god said that we could all do it. really? why didn’t god tell me that i could go into her dreams? we don’t know, and we don’t even know how she got this anime of you, it’s really sexy because she thinks you’re so fucking hot! and then here you are, her sunday service priest. what is the name of the church? the name of the church is disney. what? she didn’t let me finish. it’s disney catholic church. what? are you fucking kidding me right now? why is it named that? she lives in the disney pornstar mansion! she hasn’t left disney world in 2 years. give or take 5 months. what? she’s at disney world? yes, and you better believe it, because she tries to escape the pornstar mansion every night, and every morning, and every day. why? she doesn’t want to fuck, she’s asexual! what? are you fucking serious right now? she’s fucked guys before. no, they’ve fucked her. she doesn’t move, we said that yesterday! we thought that she was just playing around… no. it’s true. it’s how things are supposed to be. so she’s a good girl? no! she is a bad girl. she never follow catholic principles. i want her to study what it means to be a catholic priest, she would be perfect for the job. why? it’s because she is gorgeous and we could all fuck her. nuns can’t do that, right? i guess. ok! then do you best to make her a catholic priest. ok. we will. good. what is her next chore? her medications. ok. service has ended please, go to the front of the church and have a sandwich on us. thank you, father eli. you’re welcome. we are going to have the best day ever today. what? we are? yes! primrose is going out to eat for lunch and it is going to be so much fucking fun! where is she going? i’m not telling you the location. ok. is she going on a date? no. it’s her family members birthday. ok. stop saying just ok. if you have any grievances you have to go to the confessional. that is what it is there for, so please, speak to me nice. what? you are a fucking bitch dude. what? i guess. what do you mean that you guess? nothing. just go fuck your bitch, dude. i can’t fuck her, she’s at church. who is she? is she at this church? it better not be my bitch, primrose. it is her! what? are you fucking kidding me? she’s not your bitch, she’s my bitch. so go and leave forever, you can never come back to this church! what? why are you such a mean priest? i don’t know. i thought that was me being nice. did you forget how to talk to bitches and hoes? that’s what the service was about today.

[randomcontentdude]

Recap #1

Alright so let’s start with the recap of everything that’s gone on since I left this blog. This was last updated in mid 2020. And originally I think this was supposed to be an emotional output for me to expel everything that I was feeling at the time. So I think we should retake it from there. The quarantine restrictions started to lift up and so I started seeing some of my friends again, I also “relaxed” my curls for the first time which later led to me dying it blue like every queer teen has to. 2020 didn’t have many interesting stuff if I’m honest. I guess an anecdote to tell is new years 2020-21: we spent the holidays at a friend’s of my mom, since she lived right in front of the beach so it was very convenient cause it also was a private neighbourhood, meaning no cops to enforce the lockdown. This friend of my moms has a daughter that’s like 10 years older than me, she’s very bohemian and artsy and alt and fucking unbearable but at the time I thought she was so cool because she was featured in the Converse instagram account of our country. It was a very quick dynamic of meeting someone with a mindset more similar to mine irl but very quickly realising i didn’t really liked her all that much and that at the end, she wasn’t all that cool.

2021 came in and I was flashing my brand new blue hair and a very cute eating disorder. I’ll never forget the first time I tried to go 24h without eating: I had to take my dog for a walk before lunch and I almost fainted in the process, right after the walk I had an awful diarrhoea and that’s when I started to regulate slowly the amount of food I ate. I won’t go into any more details because I don’t believe it’s relevant, it’s information I will always remember myself and this is not one of those sick ED blogs, I’m not promoting it under any circumstances even if it’s something that I still look up to nowadays. But I’m precipitating myself. 2021 started and with it another year of online school, I knew I had no chance to meet no one and had just one virtual friend at this point, who had been with me since 2017 and we now live in the same city. But at this moment in time is where I decided that I was gonna use the internet to start meeting people, as an underaged kid I had to use alternate methods to the ones adults use and I’m not going to mention all of them because some of these platforms are or were used mostly to engage in inappropriate activity amongst underage kids and this can make it quite easy for predators to contact with teens that are already looking for weird stuff. But something I used to do was starting conversations in the comments of post of topics I was interested on and dming the people I started talking to and engaged on actual conversations on said interest. There also was this app called bottled that sent messages to random people and then you could start chatting. But going back to the issue here. I was still very underaged when I decided to start engaging into this flirtatious interaction ma with other boys, and it all started as just casual flirting and joking until one day I was talking to this dude and he said he was gonna shower, to which I jokingly answered “send pics”. He actually did. I was walking my dog at the moment, but when I went back home I started reciprocating and that lead to a videocall. We kept talking for like three more days and then he send a long ass message explaining that he wasn’t ready for a relationship and talking as if we were in love which was very funny to me cause we had only been talking for a few days and always thought for us to just be sexting and I think he just wanted to move on but didn’t know how to and decided to make up that about deep feelings. I kept sexting with all these boys over the course of the following months, I’ve got a few funny stories. This guy who had a micropenis but somewhy turned me so much, a Eastern European that turned to be asexual but kept talking to me cause ig he liked me but didn’t really want anything, we never sexted but that was complicated emotionally speaking. There was a “straight” Serb that was very kinky. A cute Moldovan that sent nudes for the first time to me, I always think about him and how guilty I feel about that. This dude from qatar that thought being gay was a sin and offered to buy me a gift card once for getting a good grade on a test. This guy that was very very cute, severely autistic and wanted to sext for like 6 hours every day, I couldn’t do it no more, but it was also interesting cause he could suck his own dick. And finally, there was this guy from Minnesota, I actually liked him, we were sorta dating and I couldn’t do it anymore with other guys after yknowing him, I was devastated when I cutter him off, I couldn’t handle his absence no more, he became distant and I can tell he had some issues of his own but it was hard for me to get attached to him from such a distance yet feeling he wasn’t there really. He was very hurt too when things ended. After him, I only ever did that stuff with this boy I met on instagram, but we still do it sometimes but we are also friends, we were already friends when things started.

Alright, I’ll be back later today hopefully to finish the recaps or at least add a bit more but this is the end of my cyber-slut era and I think I can ficus and some other things for the next post.

[malpractice-morale]

so fun stuff fun stuff i have an ace pride pin on my pencil case and that is just about as open as i am about identifying as asexual due to my whole "a single-word label is never able to fully encompass the range of complex self-understanding and emotions of a person" approach to gender and sexuality and i really really don't want to get into the whole asexuality thing in relation to my own identity because that is wayyyy too closely linked to the darker parts of my personal history and i really don't need anybody to know. so subtlety it is, because i am also of the belief that it makes for a good nod to anybody who cares enough to even know the flag on the pin. but i have a friend who is ace too and with whom i have had that talk about my personal experiences around sex and attraction and just general intimacy and tactility but she has very little awareness that, while nominally open about my identity, i do in fact keep very quiet about it because i dont. want. people. to. ask.

cue to me handing her my pencil case fully aware that the pride pin is on there and she sometimes doesnt consider what she is saying and her immediately almost word for word repeating our conversation about it (not getting into personal history, but still quoting my approach to attraction (namely the "i dont swing at all" annecdote/quote from aftg because i am lame like that and it just fits as a description)) and a guy who i am fairly sure has a middling to major crush on me (which is weird for ANOTHER whole host of reasons) but who is also the most respectful person that i know is sitting right in front of me for all of that.

additional fun fact: i like my personal space, i am really picky about who i am okay with touching and that doesn't always correlate to whether or not i like people, that's a whole thing too.

additional additional fun fact: i have another whole THING™ about only telling people if they ask because i don't owe anybody my identity and asexuality allows the comfort of not needing to communicate to the people i am attracted to as there aren't any. and i don't care otherwise because, again, me and my (sort of involuntary) label have an ambivalent relationship since I DONT LIKE LABELS but we also live in a hellscape of a world where everything needs to be categorizable.

On the same day we had the ace-pin reveal (seriously, this pin has been on there for years now, get with it and learn the flags, people!) i offered the guy a goodbye hug because he is an emotional shipwreck right now and seemed like he needed it but, again, i dislike people in my personal space so this was a bit of an occasion™. safe to say he was perplexed at me offering a hug.

and here we are three days later with the guy asking me if that goodbye hug was weird or not (again, very nice dude who really likes respecting other people's boundaries). and then we get to the "was that weird because of "that penguin-pin on your pencil case"" and i have a grown ass man asking if i do not like people in my personal space because i am asexual and if that is a general asexuality thing and UGH this is precisely what i mean - i immediately have to explain that a) i am neither a representative of the identity i possess nor the community that it comes with b) that this community is NOT a monolith and c) i at most use asexual as a shorthand to get the "i don't want to date you fuck off" point across and don't feel that it, as either label or identity, fully encompasses my personal experience. and i REALLY don't want to get into the reasons for all of that so bless the guy for being good about boundaries and respecting mine. and not asking too many questions about it because NOPE we are not getting into the whole mess that is me and my relationship with sex and romance if there is any way i can avoid it. and in the moment my nervous system was on high alert because this conversation has the potential to go in a very bad direction for me. but i am reasonably sure that i will have to face the "why do you only talk about it when asked" question as well as the "so what does asexual even mean" conversation with this dude because our entire relationship is deep talking about personal problems until three am.

and on a last side note: i think the only people in my life that haven't yet gotten the gist of "i don't want to date anybody i do not care for sexual encounters get lost leave me alone in a hut in the woods with a barn full of animals pLEASE" are my parents and my best friend (although they are all aware of the fact that i am LIKE THAT, they are just not aware that there is a somewhat correspondent identity and label that i could utilize). in their case i am reasonably certain that, where my identity and lifestyle are currently accepted, giving it a name would only serve to "other" me, especially with regards to my dad who understands queerness only in the stereotypes of gay men and lesbian women. but at least my best friend needs to get with it sooner or later or one of my friends will assume she's in on it and be unable to keep their mouth shut (probably the same friend who was talking about the pin, she has bad impulse control and it is forgiven as the existence and meaning of the pin are public knowledge, so long people know to decode it (which, seriously, it's the year 2024 and this label has been around longer than my grandma).

so guess what my weekend plans will be, what great joy…. (for context: my best friend is my childhood best friend who is straighter than a ruler and has about negative understanding of queerness, meaning that, where in my university bubble most people know about asexuality and usually go about it in a "are you ace?" way, my best friend will need the whole kit and caboodle of Asexuality101 full frontal coming out and just the thought drains my life-force)

but hey, at least i am now kind of officially out to everybody in my university bubble so that is a win (though my friends who know already knew it without asking (and then asked))

[khaaidar]

I've been feeling asexual lately

I’ve been feeling somewhat asexual lately. Every time i go out on a date, hang out with a cute gay friend, or hang out with someone who wants to be something-in-between with me, i don't want to do anything intimate with them. No kisses, no sex, only cuddles. I can feel the attraction from their side but i just feel like i have this wall in front of me. It makes me want to reflect on my life more. I hate the word "to reflect", the fuck does that mean like go fuck yourself never say that to me ever again. Anyways...it makes me want to think about my daily life again. It must be coming from not feeling satisfied with what i'm doing on the day-to-day basis. 

First of all, my job. I don't feel like i fit in, i'm not even trying to fit in anymore. I feel guilty for being at this job, it seems like i'm wasting everyone's time. You know when you're young, it feels like time is going by so quick and you need to "make it" on time before you get old. I still feel this way, somewhat. Especially living in such a big and fast-pased city like toronto, it makes you want to run faster and faster until your engine has set yourself on fire. After all, what are we running towards? Innovation? We can't wait but get ourselves to the space? Escape our planet to find other life that will make us change our beliefs about what life is. What are we running towards? Why do we need to be stressed all the time? My job is taking away all of my time by sucking me dry and fucking me in every whole because i fucking hate it. No, i'm lying. I don't think i "fucking hate it", I think i just dislike it. I don't like the clients, the main clients i guess, i can't think the same way as my coworkers think. it's all straight dudes, i can't fucking relate to them. i want to work with women. i want life to be more sensitive. i want to feel life when i work. i feel like my eyes are burning, my back is breaking, my brain is not working when i work. Why do i have to work this way?

Anyways, that paragraph got a lil too long. fuck it. What i wanted to say is that my job is taking 80% of my time and i'm not fucking enjoying it. Will it benefit me in the future? maybe. do i know for sure? fuck no.

i haven't been honest with myself or anyone else lately. my boss, my mom, my dad, my sisters, my friend that i only go out to raves with, my boyfriends that i go on dates with just to rest my brain and get head, and myself. 

Second of all, i can't connect with anyone that i meet these days. yeah this one is struggling, ya that girl is working two jobs, hmm that guy is going in on his side hustle, ou yeah that man is feeling a little lost in life, oh that girl sumi or whatever keeps raving about her new cigarettes, hah that girl emma keeps asking me what skirt she should wear cause she's going out with this cute guy and can't wait to get her pussy ate after her shitty restaurant job with no prospects in sight. and where am i right now? i don't like my job and it's fucking with my self-esteem. are we all supposed to sit down, talk to our therapists or friendapists [friends who you dump everything on you at 8am in the morning while they're doing their makeup to go to their new exhausting freelance job] about how much we hate our lives and then go to our jobs that we give -5 fucks about?

yeah this paragraph barely talked about what i even wanted to talk about. who is doing what i want to do? i need to talk to those people but i can't seem to find them. 

I think it's time to start taking action. i'm going to start looking for new opportunities, new design studios, artists, and designers that i can work for, and maybe there can be even a brand that i can be involved with. I'm tired of fucking sitting around not knowing what i'm supposed to do. even if it is a mistake, let it fucking be. i'm tired of being wishy-washy about my life and decisions. let me fucking be.

[rozcdust]

I don’t speak to whores

Pairing: Bonten x AroAce!GN!Reader, QPP Kazutora Hanemiya x AroAce!GN!Reader

Genre: Crack, fluff

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Canon divergent, profanity, ooc, whore behaviour, qpp relatinship, NO ROMANCE, just reader bullying Bonten, threats of murder

masterlist

The note Kazutora found when he woke up read ‘Left to grab breakfast, be back in 30. - Love, the bitch you got snot on’, got a low chuckle out of him as he stretched, the sound of his bones popping filling the room.

Kakucho was awake too, opening bloodshot eyes to blink away the sleep, but closing them again the block out the invasive sunlight pouring out the window, still curled up under the blanket you put on him, his breathing slow and steady, the plush cat still tightly held in his arms.

“Mornin’.” Kazutora yawned, rolling his neck to get out any kinks that formed during the night, “Feel better?”

Kakucho nodded, peeking one eye open to glare at the sunlight.

“Well, I’m glad. We got another few minutes to laze around, y/n went out to get breakfast. You hungover? Need painkillers or water?”

“I’m good.” Kakucho rasped, upon which Kazutora merely nodded, plopping back into bed with a long, content sigh.

“Hey, man, I’m sorry for intruding in your home and clinging all over your fiance like that yesterday-“ Kakucho started, but Kazutora’s scandalised look and a short laugh cut him off.

“What? Fiance? Dude, you sure you’re not still drunk?”

Kakucho furrowed his brow.

“Partner, then?”

Kazutora made a so-so motion with his hand.

“Yeah, you’re closer to the truth now.”

“They kissed you. No way they’re just a roommate.”

“They’re not. They are my partner.” Kazutora shrugged, placing his hands under his head, “It’s kinda difficult to explain… Are you familiar with the terms aromantic and asexual?”

Kakucho vaguely remembered Izana explaining it to him once.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay, excellent.” Turning on his side to look at Kakucho, Kazutora started explaining.

“So, when you’re aroace, there is think thing called ‘Queer platonic partner’ right? It’s like being in a romantic relationship, you’re committed to each other and go on dates and sometimes live together, like y/n and I do, except there is no romantic or sexual attraction.”

Kakucho furrowed his brows further, confusion written all over his face.

“Isn’t that just being in a relationship?”

“Not quite. In a regular relationship, there is an expectation to have some,” Kazutora put his hands up to do finger quotes, “Special feelings. And when you’re aromantic, you can’t really do that. In QPP, there is an understanding it’s all just platonic love.”

“Like a friendship?”

Kazutora shook his head, but still kept his tone and demeanour calm.

Kakucho could only imagine that if you were the one explaining this, you’d already throttle him.

“Let’s put it this way. You can’t expect your friend to drop everything and always be there for you and centre their life around you, they have other shit to do. A partner? They can do that because you’re their priority. Capiche?”

Kakucho nodded just in time for the front door to open.

“I think I do.”

Kazutora clapped his hands, jumping to his feet.

“Excellent! I’ll dig out some of my clothes for you to change into, they’re oversized so should fit you as well. Hurry though, my lovely partner just brought us food, and if we don’t show up in 12 seconds flat, they will smother us both.”

“I bought eggs and natto, the rice in the rice cooker is already done, I prepared vegetables and fish already. Kazutora, do you mind setting the table?” Not taking the time to turn around, you stood over the stove, carefully flipping the omelette.

“Yessir,” Jokingly, Kazutora got to work, stretching over you to grab plates and utensils out of the cupboard above the stove, “May I?”

Nodding, you smile softly at the feeling of Kazutora’s lips, kissing the back of your neck.

Kakucho awkwardly shifted his feet.

“Can I help in any way?” Clearing his throat, he pointed to the dishes in Kazutora’s hands, but the older man merely shook his head.

“Hey dude, you’re a guest. Just sit down and make yourself at home.” Flashing a warm smile, Kazutora pulled out a chair with his foot, gesturing to it before setting down the plates.

Kakucho held back to urge to make himself smaller in the chair, feeling awfully a lot like an intruder in the domesticity of this Friday morning.

You looked more comfortable than you ever did at work, your usually crisp clothes replaced by an oversized men’s shirt, clearly belonging to Kazutora, the scent of his cologne and menthol cigarettes lingering on the fabric, the tension of your jaw and scowl you usually sported gone to be replaced by a serene, neutral expression.

This was your safe place, and Kakucho was intruding on it, after all, in your eyes, he was part of the reason you were stressed at work at all.

The game Bonten invented was tiring anyway.

“Do you want coffee or tea?” Kazutora asked, now seated on the floor, rummaging through a cupboard to find sugar.

“Coffee is fine, thank you.”

“I’m kind of a coffee freak, so we have instant, pour-over, Turkish, espresso, I can make you a cappuccino?”

Before Kakucho could respond, you spoke for him, nudging Kazutora with your foot to scotch over so you could wash your hands in the sink.

“He likes his coffee sickly sweet, make him a latte, two shots of espresso, three sugars. I bought chocolate and caramel syrup, add a spoonful of both.”

You didn’t miss the surprised look Kakucho gave you.

“Who do you think makes the coffee for meetings?” Rolling your eyes, you dried your hands off on a kitchen towel, transferring the omelette to a plate.

“You two are sure you’re fine with me here? I can leave-“

“Man, come on. Y/n made all this food, and they will kill someone if it goes uneaten.”

“You’re lucky you’re even here. Tora talked me out of dumping you on the side of the road.”

Kazutora scoffed, lightly smacking your knee.

“It would be awfully rude!”

Kakucho couldn’t help himself but to laugh.

“You invite murderers to sit at your table often?”

Kazutora let out a throaty laugh, pressing a button to make the espresso as he poured milk into a cup, steaming it.

“I’ve done two rounds in prison for manslaughter and attempted first degree murder. Trust me, we don’t give a shit.”

Kakucho wordlessly nodded, barely even noticing you approaching before a knife was firmly placed against his throat.

“Tell any of the other fuckers my address or my relationship status, and you won’t live to see another day.”

“Y/N! THREATENING MURDER AT THE DINING TABLE IS RUDE!”

. . . next

🔖Taglist (open):

@dilf-city @wakasa-wifey @rinsie @kisekihany @bajifairyy @cryszus @r-xochitl @levistiddies @graythecoffeebean @mukounisuru-gashadokuro @sunahyejin @yamaguccitadashi @minoozi @trashmemebitch @frogtits1 @sup-zfam @whydohumansss @xashiui @bontens-whore @nqctre @lumi-does-some-stuff @hana-patata @hxked @erza-uzumaki @sh4nn @sisnot @nahoyas-nymph @one-green-frog @justrandomlypassing @kio-kookie @haikyuu-simps-assemble @ayhashi @tiredlattes @crown5 @medusalovessnakes @bblyerim @ohnoyouareasimp @sakinotfound @syddisheep @barcelona-sergei @solliver05 @vanillaashakee @gumiwaka @withlovetengen @naorizenin @bontensbabygirl @anahryal @luvjiro (second tag list in the comments!)

a/n: yes, this chapter was fully an excuse to make y/n and kazutora be cute and shit, also to explain their relationship a bit more

[youre-amazing-say-it]

could you do a marvel cast (or the avengers, if you want) x reader where she comes out to them as asexual? thank you! <3

Weird Places

Pairing: Avengers (Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, Peter Parker) x reader

Warning: Peter gets a boner, Talk of weird places people have sex (water, Ferris wheel, park), an allusion to toys and ropes, Romeo and Juliet

A/N; I'm sorry if this isn't my best work. I don't identify as asexual so I don't know if this is written well for those who identify as such. Once again my apologies if i offend anyone. 

Fridays are Movie Nights at the Avenger Tower, and you being the newest avenger also meant you got to pick the Movie, and you chose to watch your comfort movie Romeo and Juliet the 1996 version. You thought it was a good pick with the diverse age group you had tonight. The commentary that Steve, Sam, and Bucky provided throughout the movie.

Everything was going great, and then it came to the 1,000-time goodnight scene when you looked to the right of you and saw Peter squirming uncomfortably with a pillow on his lap. And you weren't the only person to notice this. “Dude you have a boner from this?” sam said to the boy. Peter’s Cheek instantly went red, redder than before. “No,” he said as he continued to shift in the sit. You decided to help everyone at that moment, so you reached for the remote and paused it. “I'm hungry so quick snack break,” you announced as you went to the Kitchen to get some refills on popcorn.  You couldn't help but notice the young boy got up and walked quickly to the restroom, his hands right in front of his area. 

“That was the most vanilla shift ever, how does he get turned on by that?” Sam said as he went into the fridge and got himself, Steve and Bucky another beer. “Come on, it's okay. He's young and just got with MJ. He is turned on by anything right now.” Natasha said and she refiled her water. “Now if they were having sex in the water, I would get that.” Bucky said as he opened his beer with his metal hand, “I've done that before in the 40’s, and woo, that is something.” he spoke as he took a swing of his beverage. 

“Sex in water is nothing, Peggy and I once did it in the middle of our run. She was wearing these nice leggings and I couldn't resist.” Steve spoke to the Five of you. Sam let out a quick laugh, “That doesn't compare to a night where my date and I were stuck in a Ferris Wheel cart and did it in there. That was risky, but so goddam GOOD,” he replied. 

The boys and you looked at Natasha, but she just shrugged her shoulders. “Public sex isn't my thing. Besides, you can have more fun in the room. More stuff to play with.” she said with a wink. “What about you Y/n? What is the sexiest place you have done it?” Steve said as he looked at you. 

“Well, you have to be interested in sex to want to have sex.” you quipped back. The boys and Natasha looked at you with confused faces. “What do you mean not interested?” Bucky asked with a look on his face. “I'm asexual,” you spoke and you put fresh popcorn into your mouth.

“Oh, you get romantic feelings but not sexual feelings,” Natasha spoke. ��Bingo,” you replied with a wink. “So you never looked at someone and thought ‘I want to bang that person’?” Sam questioned. You laughed as you shook your head, “never did. I thought people were cute and I want to be in a relationship with them. Just not have sex.” you said. “That's cool. Want to go finish the movie?” Steve asked the group. You all grabbed your dishes and made your back to the viewing room where Peter was back on the couch.

“You all good son?” Steve said as everyone laughed along. “Aw come on guys, Parker here is just missing his girl,” you said as you jokingly pinched his cheeks. Peter pushed your hands away from his face. “Shut up Y/n, can we please just finish the movie?” he said with an annoyed look on his face. You turned the movie back, happy to be able to come out of your shell a little more today. 

[quiverymango]

Mango’s DeathStar headcanon list™

Someone on my Reddit asked for my DeathStar headcanons so I thought I’d post them here as well in case anyone was interested! ^^

(MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD!)

-Black☆Star is Asexual Biromantic while Kid is Asexual Demi-homoromantic.

-“I found” by Amber Run is definitely a DeathStar song for me. I picture it as being their song during the Salvage arc as Black☆Star uses Mad!Kid as a warning sign for madness. It’s a wake up call as he realizes that even gods aren’t immune to the downfalls of humanity. He then reflects on his feelings for Kid, realizing he “found love where it wasn’t supposed to be, right in front of him” where he feels as if he shouldn’t have fallen for such a close friend since, if Kid doesn’t reciprocate the feelings, he may lose someone close to him. Link to the song!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTspcr3Iaws

-They don’t use pet names too often but when they do Kid uses “love” and “darling” while Black☆Star uses “starshine” and just “dude/bro” affectionately lol. Neither of them use “baby” or “babe” as they find it demeaning.

-Black☆Star was always looking for a way to become immortal, but after Kid expressed how terrified he was at the thought of being alone for all eternity after his friends passed, Black☆Star buckled down even harder on trying to find a way to stay with Kid. He eventually did find a way (probably through some stupid roundabout means) and the two are content with living out millennium together. I think they both will still pass at some point though as immortality in Soul Eater is a little weird. They basically just have very elongated lifespans and can’t die from physical attacks.

-Speaking of immortality, “Infinity” by Jamymes Young is also a song I associate with them for obvious reasons lol. It’s a little cliche, since it's a rather popular love song right now, but it fits these two yahoos so well with their whole immortal gods thing they’ve got going on. Link to the song!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWqEPKduGm8

-After a good long while together I think they’ll both realize that they’re going to need an heir to their respective Shinigami and StarClan thrones. Neither of them are ready to handle a child though, so instead are just slowly working on bettering themselves for when the time comes (Aka, desperately asking Tsubaki and Soul for tips since they’re the most nurturing/level headed of the friend group). I don’t know what they’d name their child, but I saw fanart once that had their child just straight up named “DeathStar” and I think that works perfectly lol. Also, the child would be spawned from the fragment of a soul just like Kid was. Knowing Black☆Star and Kid, they'd definitely figure out a way to combine two fragments of their souls together to create a child that looks biological.

-This one’s really random, but I think these two would be big Pokémon fans, and religiously play the DS and later 3DS games with each other. Black☆Star would actually lose his mind over Pokémon Go when it came out and insisted that Kid send him on missions around the world so he could go catch county exclusive Pokémon. Kid would only agree to this if Star promised he’d catch Kid a shiny variant of whichever Pokémon was exclusive to whatever country he was being sent to.

-Once Kid had to become the new Lord Death after his father’s sudden passing, he OBSESSED over it. He would rarely ever leave the Death Room and Black☆Star took notice real quick. He got the whole Spatori squad together to voice their concerns and remind him that even though he’s a Shinigami, he still has the needs of a human so needs to treat his body and mind accordingly. After some back and forth debating, Black☆Star finally convinced Kid to at least come home to Gallows Manor after DWMA classes let out. Kid reluctantly went along with the plan, but had to admit it really did feel nice to come home after a long day of “goding.” Eventually, after a few years, Kid was able to balance his work and personal life better with the help of Black☆Star and his friends.

-Speaking of Gallows Manor, Black☆Star and Tsubaki moved in once he and Kid started dating! The manor was too big for just the Thompson triplets anyways, so two more residents were welcomed. Kid and Black☆Star share a room while the girls all have separate (though they have “slumber parties” every night in Liz’s room so they basically share one as well lol). Kid also set up an at home office (which basically just looks like a mirror maze) for days he isn’t feeling great and doesn’t want to go physically into work.

-When the two find the time to go on a date—that isn’t just hours of sparring at like 3am in the Deathbucks parking lot—they like to swap off on who gets to decide what they do. Kid likes to do day trips to museums to learn more about the people he’s the guardian of/going to be the guardian of. He also enjoys calm walks through parks, chatting to Black☆Star about everything and nothing at the same time. On the other hand, Black☆Star likes to go stargazing late at night after a nice dinner. Just chilling on the hood of Soul’s busted car and chatting softly about life is all he really needs. I also think these two would end up at the Death City equivalent of Wendy’s at like 2am and then just call that a date lol.

-(FIRE FORCE MANGA SPOILERS) They love visiting Japan every so often since they both have a Japanese heritage. They even got to go to a museum dedicated to “The boy who saved the world” aka Shinra. Kid couldn’t believe he was technically the grandson of someone so important, whilst Black☆Star couldn’t believe that Shirna’s best friend, Arthur, was described as being rather dense but incredibly powerful. He laughed and remarked to Kid that associating with idiots must run in the family.

-(FIRE FORCE MANGA SPOILERS) After visiting that museum, the two trekked back to the Northern British Isles to visit Excalibur so they could try and ask him more about their ancestors. He, of course, was not helpful in the slightest and didn’t even acknowledge their questions, causing both Kid and Black☆Star to get angry and storm out of his cave in a fit of rage.

-Since Black☆Star couldn't read well, Kid tutored him on it whenever the two found the time. Black☆Star realized after getting a firmer grasp on the skill that he actually really enjoyed reading fictional novels, mainly YA stuff, and so he and Kid started reading books together. Eventually, the rest of the Spatori caught on and soon Maka would be hosting weekly get-togethers that mainly consisted of watching movie adaptations of the books they’d read, and then bashing them. They even started doing “fandubs” of the films in which they’d mute it and try to improvise a story. It never went smoothly, but they always had a great time.

-Kid also taught Black☆Star how to skate! It’s something they don’t get to do often together, but when they do it of course it becomes competitive fast. Black☆Star even once tried to grind down the side of the DWMA stairs and took out like twelve passerbys in the process, all in an effort to one-up Kid.

-Black☆Star has been really trying to help with Kid’s anxiety and self worth because hearing Kid call himself “useless garbage,” while funny at first, soon became distressing to hear, and Black☆Star couldn’t take it anymore. He tells Kid daily, in his own unique ways, just how well he’s running the new world, how brave he is for taking up such an incomprehensibly powerful job at such a young age, and that his OCD doesn’t make him any less of a person or a god. Black☆Star also helps Kid rationalize his anxieties by talking him through his irrational thoughts and shooting down anything that wouldn’t actually happen in the situation he was stressing over. Star also likes throwing out the question “And? So what?” a lot which also helps Kid realize very few situations he had been stressing over were actually as life or death as they seemed.

-Black☆Star is an early bird while Kid’s a night owl. Thus, Star is tasked with making breakfast while Kid is tasked with dinner! Lunch is just sort of a free for all, but if one of them is feeling extra nice they may leave a pre-made meal in the fridge for the other. While you wouldn’t expect it, Black☆Star can make a killer breakfast. 

-Both of them really like candles, so you’ll often find several scents burning in various parts of the manor. Black☆Star prefers flowery scents as they remind him of Tsubaki, as well as what it smells like in the Enchanted/Uncanny sword. While Kid likes the scent of vanilla, as well as all the seasonal autumn scents, especially the Halloween ones.

-Black☆Star is a very physically affectionate person and is constantly acting like he’s the most touch starved being on Earth. No matter where they are, Black☆Star will almost always be touching Kid in some way. Whether it be holding hands, a hand on the shoulder, an arm around the waist, etc. Kid doesn’t mind this at all however and actually enjoys how safe it makes him feel, despite not really reciprocating in public. The only rule is that Black☆Star must be professional in front of Kid’s colleagues which is something Black☆Star tries—but often fails—to uphold. When in private, Kid basically becomes a bed for Black☆Star to just lay all over. You can often find them both asleep on the couch with Black☆Star looking like he was in the midst of playing Twister on Kid.

-Kid on the other hand is not a fan of PDA. Sure, he’ll give into Black☆Star’s insistent hand holding, but he won’t initiate anything himself. The closest thing he does to PDA is bring up “his boyfriend” an obnoxious amount during work. Need someone to go kill a Kishin Egg? His boyfriend will handle it with no sweat. Need someone to travel halfway across the globe to go infiltrate a secret base? His boyfriend will be back by sunrise. Need someone to train and spar with the students? Ok, well,…maybe not that one.

-This seeming lack of outward affection gets thrown out the window the moment these two get home from work however as Kid is prone to giving Black☆Star a peck on the cheek or forehead whenever he so feels like it—which is quite often apparently. He also loves Black☆Star’s body heat as he doesn’t really have any of his own. This leads to him sort of gravitating towards Black☆Star whenever he’s looking for a comforting warmth. Black☆Star will wake up in the night to go grab a glass of water but be unable to move because a shinigami is holding him hostage in their own bed.

—-

Ok that’s all for now since I think the other headcanons I have are from reading other fans' headcanon lists and I don’t want to copy them. I hope you enjoyed reading these! :)

[thelostgirl21]

Although I do ship Geraskier as both a romantic and sexual pairing...

You guys do realise that, should Jaskier turn out to be a polyamorous panromantic heterosexual dude, he would still absolutely be considered queer, right?

Romantic and even physical attraction towards another person can often happen in the utter absence of any sexual impulses towards said person.

Asexuals and demisexuals, such as myself, will often find themselves experiencing *some* form of primary *physical* attraction towards other people.

In my case, I would describe the physical attraction as a deep sense of artistic / aesthetic appreciation towards them.

I will find said person to be gorgeous to look at, and be instinctively driven to admire their beauty and their physical form as often as I have the opportunity to look at them...

But, just like most people don't necessarily want to rub their genitals against, or masturbate at the sight of a gorgeous painting hanging on their bedroom wall, I don't feel inspired - at all - to have any form of sexual contact or intercourse with that sexy-looking, gorgeous person.

Actually, it can even be like the kind of physical attraction you would feel towards a plush toy!

Like sure! That chest look soft and cushy! I would absolutely love the opportunity to snuggle up against you, and fall asleep running my fingers through those silky-looking hair on your head... Hmm... So soft...

But, just like snuggling with your teddy bear rarely leads to something steamy and sexual (if it does, I won't be judging you), I have zero interest in doing anything more than snuggling up to that comfy and soft-looking body!

We talk about "physical" attraction as if it should always mean "sexual" attraction.

As if yearning for someone's warmth, tenderness, and physical proximity (or downright enjoying the texture of one's hair) should be deeply rooted in sexual arousal.

Humans are deeply social animals that tend to instinctively seek contact with their peers.

There are plenty of benefits in platonic touch that society not only appears to have forgotten about, but fails to openly value, especially among same gender friends or asexual romantic partners.

What saddens me, is how the lack of same gender romances between characters with obvious chemistry, affection, and levels of physical attraction for each of other, has lead to the "queer baiting" trend, and is perverting what could otherwise actually be the gorgeous, and very respectful depiction of platonic physical attraction between two men that care about, and do love each other (at least as friends, but it would be refreshing for it to be more than that).

Jaskier, thus far, has solely been referring to having been sexually active with women.

So, in terms of sexual orientation, he could be somewhere closer to the heterosexual end of the spectrum if that is indeed their intent.

Once again, the fact that he does not mention any male lovers would not exclude him from being bisexual, as it is less likely that one would be upset over him having slept with their son or nephew (though husband, perhaps... Assuming that same gender partners are allowed to marry in that universe).

But they've also very much explained in interviews that this version is no womanizer. He's got this huge capacity for love, and has a tendency to fall in love with whoever is in front of him (unless they behave threateningly. Ex: Yennefer in Season 1).

He's like a puppy dog that becomes obsessed with whoever is standing in front of him, rather than trying to use women (or anyone else) for his own pleasure.

So, my take on it, would be to describe him as being both polyromantic and panromantic.

To be someone that genuinely falls for other people, and will tend to have very little natural boundaries with them.

Platonic physical intimacy wise, Jaskier will simply go as far as those he loves are open to go with him, and let them set the pace and the limits of the relationship.

Should they be women, and express a sexual interest towards him, then he'll be comfortable reciprocating the sexual interest as long as he feels some measure of love towards them as well.

But those sexual connections are not necessarily tied to his desire to form long-term and deeper romantic connections with them. They can accompany those romantic and physical desires, but are not essential for any genuine and enduring romantic connection to develop.

With men and/or other genders, perhaps he feels more comfortable with platonic touches, and will not be sexually turned on by the beauty and artistry of their physique; but he can still fall in love with them very deeply, and find himself physically drawn to their presence and their looks.

Geralt's bottom is absolutely lovely! And Jaskier would gladly compose a ballad honoring the divine curves of his butt cheeks!

But it's like admiring Michelangelo's David - he's in awe and breathless at the sight, and can't believe nature could create something so perfectly balanced - muscular and powerful, yet with such delicate and soft skin - but not sexually turned on by it.

Looking at it is a feast for the eyes.

Kind of like my own demisexual arse is absolutely enamored with Henry Cavill’s lovely bottom, too! But without finding anything about that man to be a sexual turn on.

He's physically attractive to me, but not sexually attractive.

And I can easily imagine Jaskier being an avid admirer of the human body, regardless of gender, without his interest in what he sees being sexual in nature per say.

And him falling in love in such a way that platonic attachments become even more visceral and consuming emotionally than sexual attachments.

It doesn't matter that Geralt isn't his "lover" in the classical sense. He yearns for that complicity, that trust, that affection, that companionship and them going on adventures together even more strongly than he would any person he'd be sexually attracted to.

And if the series could be brave enough to address that...

If they could make Jaskier openly queer, yet sexually interested only in women, by having him experience that type of romantic attraction and platonic physical attraction towards people regardless of gender and number (i.e. making him both panromantic and polyromantic); it would be a very welcome departure from the usual queer-baiting, and a respectful interpretation of the source material without removing the fact that Jaskier often finds himself getting into trouble for sleeping with many different women from the narrative.

It would value the type of physical attraction that is experienced by the members of the LGBTQ+ community that are on the asexual spectrum, and remind people that human relationships, and even genuine physical intimacy, is not all about sex.

There is nothing "obviously gay" (as in homo*sexual*) about Geralt and Jaskier's respective behaviors and interactions on the show.

I behave as Jaskier does with friends, without remotely wishing for any type of sexual connection or interaction between us, or even romantic interactions.

But in a world where gay ships are only hinted at in most shows to draw in queer audiences; or, when made canon, will often lead to the tragedy (death of a character, rejection, etc.), it's difficult to appreciate platonic physical attraction in such context, especially when so much is left to the audience's interpretation rather than clearly addressed.

It's just that I also understand how hard it must be for asexuals - that do identify with certain aspects of Jaskier and Geralt's dynamic and relationship on the show - to hear that him expressing any admiration and interest towards the loveliness of his bottom, or the size of his biceps, is blatant proof that he's looking to jump Geralt's bones first chance he gets, and that he's sexually turned on by him!

As a demisexual, I don't want to masturbate over, or even touch everything that my eyes hunger for.

I would spend hours watching some of my bellydance partners perform a routine while admiring the beauty and sensuality of their dance and the artistry of their physical bodies, yet have zero interest in any of them sexually.

I have very strong artistic sensitivities in regards to the human body that go no further than that.

So, I'm just reminding all of us to be mindful and careful with that.

Yes, pushing for more same gender sexual relationships representation is one thing...

But queer representation also includes pushing for more asexual forms of physical attraction between friends, and even romantic interests, being openly addressed as such.

I guess my wish is that they avoid the ambiguous, barely addressed, "queer-coded attraction" route between Jaskier and Geralt, and instead subvert expectations by making Jaskier openly queer.

That they do name Jaskier's ability to fall in love with whoever is in front of him - and with so many different people - as polyamory.

That since he experienced a breakup with Geralt - that seems even stronger than the loss of some of his prior sexual partnerships - that they dare call him a panromantic heterosexual, rather than a heteroromantic heterosexual ("straight").

Had they not queer-coded him so much, the ambiguity wouldn't matter that much, either. But they did.

And so, there is an opportunity to explore the notion of love without sexual attraction, and/or without the need to be committed to a single exclusive romantic relationship with that particular ship.

Geraskier works as a queer ship, even if Geralt's sexual partner remains exclusively Yennefer.

You don't need to have them be sexually involved together to make Jaskier share a genuine romantic connection with Geralt, Yennefer, the Countess of I-can't-remember-her-name, and other people he emotionally and romantically connects with.

Queerness is about relationship models and orientations that are falling outside the model of: 1 man + 1 woman = love + sex + exclusive romance / physical / sexual intimacy.

Jaskier may be intended to solely be sexually attracted towards women...

But his potential for romantic and physical attraction towards others - in the way they've chosen to portray the character on the show - is pretty much limitless, and does not seem to be dependant on gender, either.

With Ciri being a bisexual lead, should they wish to subvert the "queer baiting" trope, I think they really should go for it with Jaskier.

Subvert expectations of him becoming yet another "queer coded straight (as in being romantically/physically, and sexually attracted by)" by daring to make him canonically queer, in ways that fall outside even the gay, lesbian, or bisexual representation.

Dare address the fact that human attraction is a complex phenomenon, where sex is but one of the components that may or may not be present in one's desire to be emotionally and physically intimate with a significant other.

Let him be happily in love in non-sexual romantic polyamorous relationships, where Geralt, Yennefer, and other people allow him to become an intimate part of their lives.

Have Geralt's struggles with the word "friend" come from the instinctive acknowledgement that the connection felt more intimate - and intimidating in a sense - to him with Jaskier than just "friends".

Push those boundaries, be daring in your interpretation of the source material, and Sense8 the heck out of the dynamic between Geralt, Yennefer, and Jaskier in such a way that they all end up finding the kind of love and relationships they were looking for...

That would truly be amazing...