#...also can I say that I love your blog?
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hi rook sorrgy I'm back but I've been thinking about your akeshu as girls genderfuckery tweet for 20 million years. idk if you can share anything in good faith here on the Tumblr corner of the internet (if not then by all means ignore this) but if you did I'd owe you perhaps my entire soul!! thank you very much either way :3
i would LOVE to talk about this thank you so much for asking
[under the cut in case anyone would not like to see genderfuckery stuff]
okay so first of all.
on the topic of boobs
this is important to lead with do you understand. most of the akeshu as girls stuff ive seen around has akc as flat-chested and ren as boobed. and that's valid i support that. but personally. personally to me. i think it's the opposite. tbe reason (well one reason) i think it's the opposite is because i think girlren is a little rat of a creature and akechi who is prim and feminine and perfect is so FUCKING angry about her crush on ren like she's barely surviving it and then this is the nail in the coffin. she's like why can't i stop thinking about that messy unassuming thing. she doesn't even have boobs
my other reasons for tihs are that i think joker is more androgynous charm while akechi is more feminine/masculine duality i think this makes sense to nobody else. i think ren regardless of agab is riding the rail of the gender spectrum 🛹 while akc is collecting extremes of gender presentation like they're pokemon do you understand. are we on the same page here. ren being into drag is important to me for this reason (again regardless of agab). meanwhile akechi having very clear feminine secondary sex characteristics but presenting gradually more and more masculine in terms of clothing/hair/personal style etc. is also extremely important to me. and that includes being biog of tity while her style veers more and more into masc as time goes on
ok
the detective prince
i think girl akechi (at 17-18) presents very femininely because it's what's effective for her. i would call her style................... kawaii corporate chic. does that make sense for everyone. it's like schoolgirl girlboss. she has a bow instead of a tie but it's a very classy one not a kitschy one. smart blazer, uniform pleated skirt, patent leather shoes, u know the drill BUT. people still call her the detective prince. this is VERY IMPORTANT to me. no detective princess. only detective prince. do you understand the importance of the genderfuckery of a super feminine girl being called by masculine terms. to me. we're continuing the legacy set by my hero naoto shirogane bigender queeng. bigender kin. bigender genderneutral non-monarchical ruler
i think by third sem girl akechi is starting to dress more androgynously/masculinely. more pants. i think her third sem outfit is unchanged from canon. just a smart coat, sweater, buttondown, slacks. postcanon she gets a haircut.
just trying to live an honest student life
ren is like so fundamentallyuncomfortable with the fact of his existence at the beginning of canon so to me girlren is like... she dresses like she's trying to hide in her clothes. messy hair. i have no strong feelings about whetehr her hair should be long or short, or whether it's loose or pulled into a tail, but i know it's messsy. untamed curls. and she uses it to hide her face. none of her clothes fit. she's in oversized everything. i have a very clear image in my head of a ren idle animation where she leans down to pull up her leggings because they keep falling down. she also has terrible posture. she's androgynous at this stage not on purpose but because she's too self conscious to like... exist... and present... in any notable way at all
i think as she gets more confident and as the year progresses she starts to dress more distinctively. i like the idea of her getting more comfortable prettying up. maybe working at crossroads helps her with this 🤔 i dont know how to explain this but i think she's still feminine in a gentlemanly chivalrous way rather than a girly cute way. girlren has that same steady calming vibe that guy ren does
joker & crow
crow has a magical girl skirt. i have a drawing of this but im too self conscious about my own lack of drawing skill to show it off so i cropped out the key part and put it into an ms paint void in the distance as my visual aid
there. i hope this is illustrative
i think given girl akechi's use of her feminine charms to gain popularity, her hero complex would be similarly gendered given we have confirmation that robin hood represents not (only) heroics for altruistic reasons but also the theatre of being seen doing good. there's a real drama element to the idea of a magical girl transformation that i honestly wish we got for male crow too. i always am depressed that we don't get to see much theatre for akechi's initial appearance as crow and summoning of robin hood, anyway, girlcrow has ribbons and a capelet that flap in non-existent wind.
black mask's outfit is unchanged from canon. i'd like it to look a little less stupid but that has nothing to do with gender i just want it to look a little less stupid.
joker's outfit is also unchanged from canon. listen. im back on my bullshit. in the metaverse her behaviour gets more feminine and more sly and confident than in reality. she's got that femme fatale shit going on. however, she is still a gentleman thief. she has the long coat. she has the poofy trousers. she has the waistcoat. she's still smirking and fixing her gloves and flipping her knife and doing that thing that canon ren does where he lifts his chin and does the little "come on" thing with her fingers. do you understand? do you understand me
#rookposting#if only i could draw. all i can do is word vomit about my vision.#bumper sticker that says please ask me about the akeshugirlies who live in my brain#please take care and don't peek if you're not into genderbendy type stuff! i know it's not for everyone#for me personally as a nonbinary/bigender person it's very affirming. but i understand for other nonbinary and trans people#that may not be the case and it may not be your thing so pls scroll accordingly!#much love. we all experience gender differently#i dont want to put all my wordvomit in the p5 tag but im also conscious of how many personal tags im making now#but i still need to be able to. find things on my own blog#what can a gal do...#rookthots
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do you have any fic recs? thank you!
HELLO ANON I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO ANSWERING THIS ASK SINCE I GOT IT (im going to assume you mean byler fics since that is my most recent specialty🫶):
a cruel summer with you by the amazing @campbyler is by FAR one of my all time favorite fics. never in my entire four year fic reading career have i read something that obviously has so much love (and lore) put into it. if you haven’t read it already (or interacted with their blog, which i highly suggest!) this would be one of my first picks! (anything by suni or thea or andi is guaranteed to strike you speechless, though, so definitely check them out as authors, too!)
take a little moment (find the right words) by my lovely friend @astrobei is definitely also in my top all time bc i am SUCH a sucker for college aus it’s not even FUNNY. anything by suni is a banger, honestly, but this one specifically nails the miscommunication/idiots in love trope AND has rotund ducks. what is not to love.
a body in motion (also by @astrobei) is one of the best and most visceral mike character studies i have ever read. i’ve read it twice and the playlist has a permanent place in my spotify library. i don’t think i need to say any more.
sleeping with the lights on by singingseok is another mike character study that tore my heart from my chest and made me watch as it picked it apart and sewed it back together. okay. it’s SO good i highly recommend it for sure!
literally anything by @parkitaco is going to be fantastic, but three of my personal faves are the gaps and the silence, the windows of this love, and you were bigger than the whole sky because apparently i love sobbing into my pillow in the middle of the night. it’s healthy sometimes.
the strawberries are dying by my favorite doopel @lighthouseas is PERFECT if you’re looking for a unique take on byler with a historical spin <3 im a SUCKER for historical aus as well so this great depression fic was so incredibly perfect hehe
landslide by chamb3rs is. it’s so good i don’t even have words. it captures the spirit of senior year of high school so well, especially now that i’m in it lol. anyway, i’ve read this one twice and will continue to read it again for the rest of forever <3
and lastly, if you’re looking for spiderman aus (which i LOVE), look before you leap by lumism, the higher i climb, the farther i fall by @andiwriteordie, and mike wheeler’s guide to falling in love with a superhero by @smoosnoom are all wonderful perfect places to start 💗
i hope this gives you a good place to start anon :3 and also that im not overwhelming you. lol. but feel free to check out my bookmark page here for a more complete list of fics i’ve read!
#there are so many more great authors and fics out there btw. i just felt like this was already ridiculously long.#im realizing now what a suni astrobi fangirl i am. and im not sorry.#ANYWAYS i only recently started making my bookmarks public since i was so Scared before#so i will be updating it when i have time w more little comments so you can get a better idea of things to read!#also if i tagged you when you didn’t want to be tagged i sincerely apologize </3#pov you’re a nerd and have so much to say about what fics you’ve read and you also love your friends and their works and -#yeah. okay. this is making me love the byler community a lot again. maybe i WILL start that side blog for fic rec fridays#BASICALLY I HAVE A LOT TO SAY i’ll shut up now 💗#🫧🪴#asks#💌#anon !!#wayli’s fic recs
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A complete travesty in the Good Omens universe? Michael not being portrayed the leader of angels.
She's supposed to be the Supreme Commander, and she's supposed to be the boss. I sincerely suggest you don't fight me on this hill. For Hell's sake, the actress has the perfect vibe... A crime has been commited here.
Therefore, I swear to fix it in my fanfictions. General, I'll do right by you. ❤
If you can't tell, in spite of being on the opposite side, I'm attached to this figure. I'm protective of this figure. I'll defend this figure with claws and teeth.
#watch me being a hypocrite because i always say respect canon and authors do what they wish their word is gospel#but it's good omens and i have a very strange relationship with this universe#also i'm not a hypocrite i can complain all i want it doesn't change canon - nor do i go lashing out at the creators i'm grumbling on a blog#that's the beauty of fandom and fanfiction you make seperate universes and have free reign#if other pricks around here can say they're “fixing” canon for much lamer reasons so can i only i'm right#the beauty of fanwork is you remake what you adore in your own image#good omens#archangel michael#good omens michael#good omens fandom#good omens fanfiction#diary pages#i solemnly swear right here right now...#if you can't tell i have a thing for archangel michael... like in a hierophilic way#my crush from mythology tbh#i said you remake what you adore...#it's more complicated than that for me with go#i dislike most things about go that makes it go#but also i'll always love the story it is a part of me#no no no butchering what mikey's supposed to be was criminal but the actress got her i feel she did great she has the spartan aura#pro tip... never call her mikey XD
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YIPEEE I LOVE DISCUSSING OCS !! i think people who think self-shippers/yumejoshis are cringe need a bit more whimsy in their life ☝️
my agent's name is scarlett reid and she's a bat thiren under victoria housekeeping ! i was debating whether or not i'd make her represent the vampire trope bc lycaon's story teased an upcoming vampire chara (altho idk if he's gonna be playable) but this is all i can think of for now so unless i can come up with something else, she's gonna be the vampire of the team 😭
basically her story is that she has a sickly younger sister who inspired her to pursue pediatrics, the only issue is her fangs become visible when she talks/smiles and it scares most kids 😭 she also has a crazy work history because she used to take up a bunch of jobs just to get by until she got the opportunity to join victoria housekeeping
i've also been considering making it so that she was a medic in the ember arena which is where she met lighter but i haven't decided on if she was born in the outer ring and moved to new eridu or born in new eridu and worked in the outer ring for a while for some reason
OOH SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHES SLAYING ?? like ugh i’d eat her up if she was in game !! her name is so pretty too and shes a bat thiren ?? sign me uppp
as part of lighter nation, i believe lighter would absolutely ADORE the little fangs. like the first time she smiles at him, he was a little scared but he finds it charming. whenever he’d attempt to flirt with her (and fail miserably), as long as her little fangs show, he KNOWS that she’s genuinely smiling and laughing.
also , since there’s a huge misconception that most bats like human blood, i think he’d be a little worried that she’d go crazy upon seeing him bleeding from his matches. BUT NO, she’s treating him so well, his eyes are focused on her while she’s busy patching him up. this is canon, i was there in the ember arena 🙂↕️
i hope we get more about the outer ring because i think it could definitely help you decide which origin is better for her. i LOVE your oc and i’m so happy that you’re telling me about it AKSHSKBS
#lumiresponds ˚✧₊⁎☆#lighter lorenz#lighter zzz#i hope this is also a sign to everyone that i will write for almost anyone at all#give me any description for reader and i will GET TO IT#also i just like imagining lighter being in love in different ways#*dreamy sigh* i love lighter……#i also love making yumeships real#I AM A SELFSHIP/YUMESHIP BELIEVER UNTIL I DIE#you x your fav chara or your oc x your fav chara is literally canon and anyone that says otherwise can leave my blog
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quick boundary I'd like to put up regarding my selfship (as I'm still working on how to formulate proper boundaries quick and simple for my pinned lol)
I would personally prefer if when commenting/reblogging to not mention your own ships ^_^; (weather it be cc x cc , oc x canon , or self insert x canon) . it personally makes me uncomfortable and at times a bit upset, I really apologize.
also this isn't to say my ship overrules anyone else's lol that's not what I'm trying to say 😅 it just brings discomfort and I thought I'd bring it to my audiences attention. thank you!!
#also#you're free to ask if youd like to take iinspiration off of something i did of me and my f/o for your own! thats totally chill <33#(I'd actually *prefer* if you were to ask for inspiration regarding that topic because some of my pieces with Hatty are EXTREMELY personal)#this also isnt to say that if you selfship or do oc x canon that you should scurry from my blog#i love all of my mutuals and followers who do that!#i can curate my own space lol i have the mute feature#that's all i think!!#if you have questions about this or my stances with my selfship you're free to ask#I've just unfortunately had this problem repeated too many times to count#alfie yells into the void#semi important#important#man idk
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"Notsu! Shikanoko Noko Desu!" (Notsu! I'm Noko Shikanoko!) by: Yasuhiro Misawa from: My Deer Friend Nokotan
#My Deer Friend Nokotan#Yasuhiro Misawa#Notsu! Shikanoko Noko Desu!#translator's note: notsu is “antler” backwards#well I was going to say I got a bunch of new soundtracks for february but dandadan did not post at all so.#I guess we'll just see how many tumblr lets me get away with posting............#ALSO FIVE YEARS OF THIS BLOG?!#I would love to know if my Posting has gotten anyone to try out a new show#or what your favorite soundtracks/composers are#or any other nice things you want to tell me 😊#no promises but let's see if I can make it five more................!
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.
#blocks an anon that says they reported my blog for promoting ‘modern day slavery’ and an anon ragging on all 5 of the boys also disappears#shocking 😱#the modern day slavery thing is because of the dynamics of my marriage which....#say a lot about your ability to understand and respect different relationships#or possibly just speak to the truth about the anon's maturity#anyway my husband ordered me a sourdough breakfast sandwich from dunkin today and is going to eat the bacon#because my autism makes it so I struggle a lot with food but the number one part of our power exchange is he takes care of me#even when it comes to my 'weird' eating habits which literally any autistic person can tell you comes with a whole host of shame#but he helps me through every fucking step#i truly try not to brag too much about how good I have it relationship wise but genuinely GET YOU A LOVE LIKE OURS SORRY NOT SORRY#best friends since high school#ride or dies since high school#we hadn't talked for over a year and when his life started to implode back in 2008 i was THE ONLY person he knew he could trust
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on some level I understand that welcome to hell is probably a little harder to sell than hazbin given the *gestures vaguely* entire main plotline of w2h THAT SAID im going to be mad about it forever. because one of them is actually funny and has good character design and compelling dynamics and a good plot and its not the one about the freaking hotel.
#literally hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby like nothing vivziepop ever writes will be as good as your first demonic possession#everyone who knows me irl is going to look away now because I need to be really mean about hazbin for a second#and I feel bad doing that because I know my wonderful friends like it. but its my god given right to be a hater on my Tumblr blog.#LIKE ive seen some of hazbin and helluva. theyre mid theyre so mid.#the plots are not compelling the characters have no intriguing chemistry#theyre throwing so much at you both character and storyline wise and its impossible to keep track of anything. theres no time to care about#anyone or any of their stories!!!#and they both rely so much on swear words/sex jokes for their writing and like. its just too much it stops being funny.#anyone who knows me knows I love a good swear or a good sex joke but dude theyre just so constant that they dont work#and it also cheapens the parts that actually try to get serious you know? the tonal whiplash just makes it hard to take anything seriously#like I honestly think if they took hazbin a little more seriously it could actually be good. like I get the oooo swears for adults aspect#but truly if they just bothered to write a good plot instead of forcing a million fuck jokes into it then it could work. but they didn't.#sad!!!!#okay im nice now. when my beautiful friends bring up hazbin I will bite my tongue and not even say anything a little mean#even though its bad and sucks. I will focus on the parts of it that could have worked. so that I can engage with their interests kindly#because all their other interests rule so hard. its just hazbin that I can't stand.
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Hey personal question. Because I never ever wanna make you uncomfortable. But sometimes I worry I might say something to nice about Theirry. Like example : gonna hug him and something else
But then other times I don't wanna say something to mean. Like example : make him explode
Like he's a lovely Narrator and I do enjoy his design. But I don't wanna miscommunication. I know the obvious stuff like generally being weird like you've pointed out in the past.
But I don't wanna say something In an ask and have it not come off as nice. You genuinely seem really cool and I don't wanna be rude.. yk?
Am I explaining this well? I hope so.
YEAH I GET WHAT YOU MEAN!
i was gonna have this big long elaboration on what i'd prefer you not say BUT I'LL KEEP IT SHORT; just try not to use any expletives that tie back to his being " stinky " ( ie; i wanna dunk him in the trash where he belongs ) or reiterate on & on about how you only want bad things to happen to him & you'll be fine
#anonymous#inbox#TSP blogging#which OUGH feels like a ridiculous rule to put in place because it's not like you can't say bad things about thierry but like#base it off of his actual terrible ACTIONS as opposed to ' stinky ' at LEAST you know what i mean#like it always felt like those jokes punished thierry's existence / creation than as opposed to his actions#like how dare i make such a foul beast that is literally just standing there#ALSO MAYBE JUST FIND BETTER WAYS TO CONVEY YOUR FEELINGS AS OPPOSED TO SIMPLY ' I wanna x him '#i say this as a general advice because u know !!! ' i wanna x character ' is a nice complement but creators would love to hear#*more than just that as feedback of their character#I'M NOT SAYING TYPE OUT PARAGRAPHS OF PRAISE but you know! you can say more !!!! if you feel like it !!! it's okay!#UM I DON'T KNOW. yeah. JUST HAVE SOME SELF AWARENESS BUT SHOOT YOUR SHOT. the worst you could get is just a#*' don't do that again please ' from me
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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ooooh aaah my first anonymous hate mail!
now i know i said i'd post this sort of stuff publicly to shame the sender, but i'm faaaaiiirly sure this is a kid. so! i'm not gonna post it, or engage, and have in fact already deleted it, because i really really suspect it's a kid.
i'll address one part: about me not tagging my work.
like many other things in the ask, that's an outright lie. i actually do my best to tag comprehensively and liberally, and if you're hatescrolling my blog you already know my tag for the shipaganza in particular is this: 🎀💖
i have put this tag (again, it's 🎀💖) on every post related to the shipaganza. even the explicitly non-romantic, platonic ones (like bandee's and kirby's) and the what the heck is that? ones (like marx's) so that people can liberally avoid it for any number of reasons. i'm just doing this event for fun, and want it to be fun for people viewing the work as well!
i also make it clear regularly that earnest folks can ask me to tag anything in particular and i will do so. however, i cannot control what tags are used on a post once it leaves my blog, so i recommend that you use this handy feature
to make sure you never have to see any of my content ever again, no matter who else might reblog it onto your feed!
if that's not enough and you're still finding mentions of me on your timeline (such as when other people @ me), you can also apparently use "filtered post content" and just put my username in there. now i haven't tried that in particular, but it seems comprehensive as it searches the entire post for instances of a phrase. here are the instructions on how to do that.
anyway! i hope these steps successfully help you to never see my content or mentions of me ever again!
#the other very important aspect of blocking me if you don't like me is that i won't accidentally interact with one of YOUR pieces.#that would be uncomfortable and embarrassing for everybody! 👍#i will also say that i have turned off anonymous asks for a while to let this person chill out a bit as i'm not interested in engaging.#normal asks are still open and i'm sure i'll reopen anons eventually#i'm sorry to have to turn them off during the shipaganza in particular! i really love receiving your prompts!#(edit: apparently i can just turn reblogs off! so i did that! no worries.)#i don't want to risk drawing any further attention to the kid and it really only applies to my blog anyway!#should i tag this one anything? negativity? i didn't post the ask itself so it's probably okay but lmk!
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i think i should stop posting before i worry people or annoy people
#the only thing stopping me from leaving the server is that i don't want people to worry#and also my corus thread#i like my corus thread#if nobody got me i know corus got me can i get an amen#i say as if multiple people haven't reached out to me but#you know what this is#a self fufilling prophecy#by worrying about ruining my friendships i lose the ability to talk to people who i know are reaching out#and i thus ruin my friendships whoop dee doo#reading all your messages and never replying#searching up my name to see if i matter still#i'm sorry that i do this i really really am#me omw to make everything about me#this close to losing it and by it i mean my stability#i Love getting upset over things people have no control over!#the thoughts tell me to delete my blogs bruh but all my stuff..#and corus#pausing#breathing#i am aware i am not in a good headspace right now#i am aware people are reaching out to me#i am aware i am terrified to reply#i am aware i am sleep deprived#i am hurting people. i do not mean to#but i am#so i will fix this#one step at a time#first#address situation#explain
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not going to name names bc thats messed up but omfg i was tryna find records of old heta fandom shit to show inu right and i found a hetalia iceberg and I SAW MY 2019 OPP ON THERE. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY LIKE MY EYES BULGED OUT OF MY SKULL BECAUSE IM NOT EVEN JOKING I HATED THIS BITCH SO MUCH WHEN I WAS 14 AND NGL I STILL HATE HER. I DIDNT SAY NOTHING AND KEPT CURTIOUS AND NORMAL OBVIOUSLY BUT ON THE INSIDE I WANTED HER ASS DEAD EVERYDAY AND WELL... you all know im never in the loop with things and had no fucking clue that she was just the antichrist for an entire group of people lol. SHE WAS MY ANTICHRIST THO. I HATED HER AND SHE HATED ME OKAY AND IM LIKE RODF SEEING HOW SHES ON THE FUCKING HETALIA ICEBERG I WAS LIKE OMG.... I THOUGHT ONLY I FUCKING DESPISED HER
#i hated her to an unhealthy amount imma be so real#bc ive never done an internet sin of like shittalking outside of priv accs/dms#or interacting anonymously with people i hate etc etc#but there are things that are like corruptions for your own soul from how sour hatred can get#and she did that to me. and i only hated her enough to do that#i have only ever in my life actively hatestalked her blog when i was 14 bc she made me so fucking mad everyday#ive only ever in my life hatestalked her like shes the only reason i can comprehend why people are compelled to hatestalk#this was all back when i was like 14 tho lol and#ugh... im sorry. as you can tell the hatred i feel towards her is like soul corrupting level#i want to say im sure she has grown up to be a fine person and logically i know this is true#but also part of me is like there is no fucking way this bitch grew up to be a fine person like the lobotomy part of my brain is saying that#i will not tell you who she is btw so dont send me an ask begging for the user#and if for some reason you have a hunch who it is. you never know you could be wrong and even if youre not i dont condone harassment towards#her or like yknow just any association like leave her tf alone#i dont have fans who love me enough or are crazy parasocial to harass someone i personally hate/hated#but still just in case#shes not an actual bad person. i just hate her so much that it makes ME a bad person on the inside#its why im so glad that i turned 15 and went i need to stop looking at her forever or else i will reincarnate as a mosquito#ill only talk to u abt her if we are at least acquatiances with eachother#and i dont think anybody will be able to figure out who she is actually bc i never once was mean to her outside of telling my close friends#i wanted her dead. me when i dont act like a beast online despite the vietnamese devil inside me
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been learning to play ironsworn (gritty fantasy ttrpg which you can play with a gm but is mostly suited for solo or small group co-op gmless play) after having the rulebook pdf for several years (stars finally aligned to remove invisible thing blocking me from reading it idk) because i'm on another solo ttrpg kick & i don't know what took me so long to get around to this game because it genuinely is exactly what i was looking for. years ago when i was playing through solo 5e modules i should have just been playing ironsworn (believe it or not, 5e isn't very suited to solo play and is extremely clunky when you try lol).
also though i have dabbled in some other solo ttrpgs, a considerable amount of them are journaling games which is fun but imo considerably more work (usually by the time i'm a quarter of the way through the journal entry, i know how to entire scene played out and i want to move on to the next gameplay thing, so i get frustrated and bored quickly. it feels like when you solve a level in a video game but don't have the coordination to pull off the necessary move so you have to spend 20 extra minutes doing something you already figured out), so i really appreciate like not needing to write something for the game to progress (ive been taking notes for my own record since im playing solo and thus am not really out loud roleplaying the way you do in a group, but i definitely could do that instead and not take notes and the game would still function perfectly)
& ive been playing by myself but also in the past ive played a lot of ttrpgs in very small groups which has been other games but is mostly dnd and like. we also should have been playing ironsworn so that having a gm was not necessary. have definitely played games where we had to adapt the rules soooo much to do something that is just base game included in ironsworn. plus it's rules-light enough to do pretty complex moves that pose difficulties in bulkier games (ever introduced someone to dnd and they tell you they want to do a sick backflip and catch something and then attack and you have to tell them that will require several different consecutive rolls and some creative liberties with how the rules are 'supposed' to let you move? you can just Do That in ironsworn. use the strike move and describe it. done!)
the one thing is that although it's rules-light enough to theoretically play any setting or genre (some with more difficulty than others), ive found so far that like... the grittiness and sense of threat is very built into the mechanics so that would be sort of difficult to work around or change (but i think it's great from a game design perspective). what i mean is like, okay: you start with 5 max hp. there isn't really a way to raise this max hp, you just slowly gain abilities (assets) that make you less likely to have to lose the hp in the first place, or that make it easier to recover. when you encounter foes, you rank them on a scale of 1 -5, and enemies on the lowest side of this scale do one harm to you, while enemies on the highest side do five harm to you. so even though encountering an epic enemy won't always be deadly due to the assets you have, they are ALWAYS capable of taking you down to 0 hp with one good hit. so the feeling of threat is much more present compared to games where your character starts to be able to just tank and push through a failure or huge threat.
admittedly also i'm playing solo, im still learning how to balance combat, and also i built a character who has NO combat talents and iron (the close quarters fighting stat) is one of my lowest stats so i personally am under much more threat than if you built a character who knew how to fight or who could do deadly harm. but also the other thing about combat is it's extremely difficult to maintain control of the fight; you have to score a strong hit to do it on basically all moves, and there's a really limited pool of moves available when you don't have the initiative, and obviously none of them really favour you. i don't know that this makes combat genuinely more difficult, but it does make you feel like the fight is always about to spiral out of your control. every second you let it drag without decisive action feels like it brings you closer to dying. like i said, this is a feature of the game design and not a problem in any way. just thinking about it because when i was initially learning i was going to try to supplant it into a homebrew fantasy world of my own but the tone just wouldn't be right. and that it is somewhat difficult to replicate the kind of worlds that i typically play or run for dnd, which tend to lean somewhat sillier and definitely much higher fantasy
but i like to try new things and tbh especially in dnd i find that i very rarely feel that sense of threat and when i do feel it, it has nothing at all to do with the actual mechanics and reality of the combat and everything to do with how well the dm sells it to me and makes it sound and feel scary and dangerous. which is a testament to what a good gm can do for you but i do appreciate the threat feeling more built-in and also being actually real.
#good idea generator#kas plays ironsworn#am giving it a tag because i will continue to talk about this. its my blog#idk i just find in dnd like. players often FEEL threatened WAY before they actually are threatened#which makes it really hard to balance combat because players treat evenly matched fights like hopeless death traps#so instead they do underleveled combat that feels boring for some hard to pin down reason#but like. the reason is even though you're nervous about the dm's description and the things the monsters can do#there is no real threat. especially in bigger parties where the players DOMINATE action economy. they are always in control#so of course it gets boring. it drags out so everyone can take their turn but it never forces you to make difficult choices#or to totally exhaust all your abilities. after awhile the combats start to feel same-y#because even if the monster is different. you never have to do anything different to defeat it#ofc this is a subjective assessment and also if youre reading this and we play dnd together this is not a gripe abt our table i love u#i think it's really easy to get trapped doing this esp in tables which like rp more than combat#because its also like. once you're used to a certain balance of combat if your dm suddenly threw you a big one#you assume that this is a uniquely large threat in the narrative as well (rather than a rebalancing attempt)#and treat it accordingly. which is to say with way too much caution because it isnt actually that big of a threat#so then as a dm when you have to maintain the feeling of threat and the mechanical threat#(especially when sometimes the mechanical line between 'cakewalk' and 'tpk' is razor thin#and is more about the initiative order and luck than anything else)#you start to prioritize the feeling of threat. which is imo the right call always#but its just after awhile when you feel the threat but nothing ever happens to anybody. the dissonance starts to affect the table#also balancing dnd combat as a dm is really hard and often requires a LOT of on the fly adaptation#because sometimes the CR is useless and you don't know how it's gonna do until the dice are on the table already#anyway. my point is that im enjoying how ironsworn handles this problem
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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Just went on Instagram to look at more DR art (because tumblr won't let me see a lot of DR art for some reason) and saw hinanami discourse out in the wild which made me say, out loud, "oh, are we still doing this 💀"
Like idk if I've just aged out of the fandom (on Instagram) but just seeing that hinanami rant made me realize I've been spoiled by the DR community on Tumblr bc I'll scroll on here for 2 minutes and see a text post that will literally SHIFT my entire view of a character/ship and CHANGE my LIFE in just a small analysis that was probably written by op while they were on the toilet💀
Anyway it made me think of the post about Maki and Chappel Roan that I actually recited by memory out loud to my friend last night [gooning over wlw content together after watching Muriel's Wedding], And also that one post abt Monomi and Monokuma being Junko's satire of her own rivalry with Mukuro, and Junko not liking that her friends don't appreciate her fursona doing stand-up 💀💀 and like compare that to Instagram discourse and it's like "Komahina is stupid bc hinata isn't straight" like 💀
Anyway maybe it was the same on tumblr before [it probably definitely was] but now that I'm older I'm really appreciating mature convos/takes about danganronpa because good fanfiction/fanart/fan interpretations are truly adapting the story+characters in much better ways than the creators could ever imagine circa 2010 [pointy objects] [peaches and cream] [anything w/autistic nagito] [anything w/transmasc hajime]
number one rule of modern fandom experience (at the very least with media that has a propensity to draw Certain Crowds [looking especially hard at danganronpa and p5]) is CURATE YOUR OWN SPACE AND STRAY NO FARTHER ‼️‼️‼️ i personally escaped the early era dr fandom (pre v3 localization/the 2019 Danganronpa Renaissance) but time capsule posts tell me i dodged something of a bullet there ❤️ in that vein 2019/2020/covid era discourse was still crazy insane (<- was a part of it for sure LMFAO) but it had a much different Flavor than it did way back when. and the same is true of present-day: still a little kooky if you search hard enough (insta/tiktok/twitter/tumblr all have their own demons). but at least This go around i have largely avoided that by picking my people that i trust not to be Weird and just living in my own bubble wrt the dr fandom at large. and thats served me very well the past year+ since i got back into dr <3 and i have also seen MANY of those perspective-altering posts in that little curation circle that has deepened and made better my experience THE GOOD IS OUT THERE ‼️‼️‼️
THE JUNKO FURSONA POST ALSO LIVES IN MY BRAIN its so real and just one of many takes i’ve seen fly by in a post and been like This is so real and it’s mine now. many such cases <3 i follow people like that and simply block people expending energy on discourse i DOOOOOONT care about. like simply enjoy kmha (I SURE DO ‼️‼️‼️) if you like it and ignore hnmi/kmnmi if you dont (cant relate I LOVE YOU TOO HINANAMI + KOMANAMI ‼️‼️‼️) and live your life happy not angry ❤️
like re: maki lesbianism (which was written on the toilet no lie) she is The most lesbian of all time i could write 10,000 scholarly articles on her comphet + traumatic past of being made to hurt people keeping her from fully coming to terms with herself as a lesbian and as someone who wants to Protect the people she loves (an integral pillar of butchness!!!!!!!!) and it is so important to me. and MANY people disagree! and i simply just dont worry about it <3 but i DO think about the people that agree (and the people who i Influence to agree…..that makes me so happy to hear you talking about it with people :D) and that makes fandom FUN!!!!! not arguing over word of god or whatever that isn’t going to change anyone’s opinions anyway 😭
there is a LOOOOOT of good discussion and character/scene analysis and genuinely fun unique takes on tumblr (+ im sure other places but i rly only interact with dr on her & Occasionally by liking a twt post on my main) and that’s where i’ve made my niche <3 people having fun with the media they enjoy and trying to salvage its shortcomings and missteps because they love it!!
and putting little old Me up amongst the dr goats (transmasc hajime) (autistic nagito)………..framing this ask tbh the HIGHEST honor 4 me……..thank you my beloved cider as always KISS MWAH MWAH
#ask#bittercideristaken#dr#un ange#i Looooove this stupid shitty series and i love people who love it and i think we should all have fun and kiss and smoke weed instead of#arguing about stuff you can simply filter tag or block over <3#do what you want forever and ever ❤️ thats what im going to keep doing because hey ITS WORKED OUT SO FAR!!!!!!#also re: struggling to find art: i follow character tags and scroll thru the tab every week or so and thats how i find my art/analysis here#mostly <3 and following blogs that post in the tags a lot! i havent needed to traverse insta/twt for art But admittedly i am mostly#obsessed with The danganronpa characters of all time (nagito)(hajime) so there is no shortage of content. gonta however……..💔#rules for danganronpa ONE curate your fandom experience for enjoyment TWO have fun THREE if theres no content MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!#<- true of saigoku. and non-killing game development of main v3 squad + kiibo + gonta. and transfem nagito. kmha sdr2 rewrites not so mych#BUT THEY WILL EXIST IN MY VISION BECAUSE I SAY SO ‼️‼️‼️#i luv u writing. hit a really good spot in new pointy objects chapter i am EXCITED TO WRITE!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
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