#...This isn't even getting into the debate of where to post things (mostly the other art not the shower sketches)

[reachartwork]

PLEASE JUST LET ME EXPLAIN REDUX

AI {STILL} ISN'T AN AUTOMATIC COLLAGE MACHINE

I'm not judging anyone for thinking so. The reality is difficult to explain and requires a cursory understanding of complex mathematical concepts - but there's still no plagiarism involved. Find the original thread on twitter here; https://x.com/reachartwork/status/1809333885056217532

A longpost!

This is a reimagining of the legendary "Please Just Let Me Explain Pt 1" - much like Marvel, I can do nothing but regurgitate my own ideas.

You can read that thread, which covers slightly different ground and is much wordier, here; https://x.com/reachartwork/status/1564878372185989120

This longpost will; Give you an approximately ELI13 level understanding of how it works Provide mostly appropriate side reading for people who want to learn Look like a corporate presentation

This longpost won't; Debate the ethics of image scraping Valorize NFTs or Cryptocurrency, which are the devil Suck your dick

WHERE DID THIS ALL COME FROM?

The very short, very pithy version of *modern multimodal AI* (that means AI that can turn text into images - multimodal means basically "it can operate on more than one -type- of information") is that we ran an image captioner in reverse.

The process of creating a "model" (the term for the AI's ""brain"", the mathematical representation where the information lives, it's not sentient though!) is necessarily destructive - information about original pictures is not preserved through the training process.

The following is a more in-depth explanation of how exactly the training process works. The entire thing operates off of turning all the images put in it into mush! There's nothing left for it to "memorize". Even if you started with the exact same noise pattern you'd get different results.

SO IF IT'S NOT MEMORIZING, WHAT IS IT DOING?

Great question! It's constructing something called "latent space", which is an internal representation of every concept you can think of and many you can't, and how they all connect to each other both conceptually and visually.

CAN'T IT ONLY MAKE THINGS IT'S SEEN?

Actually, only being able to make things it's seen is sign of a really bad AI! The desired end-goal is a model capable of producing "novel information" (novel meaning "new").

Let's talk about monkey butts and cigarettes again.

BUT I SAW IT DUPLICATE THE MONA LISA!

This is called overfitting, and like I said in the last slide, this is a sign of a bad, poorly trained AI, or one with *too little* data. You especially don't want overfitting in a production model!

To quote myself - "basically there are so so so many versions of the mona lisa/starry night/girl with the pearl earring in the dataset that they didn't deduplicate (intentionally or not) that it goes "too far" in that direction when you try to "drive there" in the latent vector and gets stranded."

Anyway, like I said, this is not a technical overview but a primer for people who are concerned about the AI "cutting and pasting bits of other people's artworks". All the information about how it trains is public knowledge, and it definitely Doesn't Do That.

There are probably some minor inaccuracies and oversimplifications in this thread for the purpose of explaining to people with no background in math, coding, or machine learning. But, generally, I've tried to keep it digestible. I'm now going to eat lunch.

Post Script: This is not a discussion about capitalists using AI to steal your job. You won't find me disagreeing that doing so is evil and to be avoided. I think corporate HQs worldwide should spontaneously be filled with dangerous animals.

Cheers!

[megaderping]

Persona 5 fandom, I beg of you, please stop with the casual (and likely very unintentional) ableism. This is less about one specific person and an overall trend I see whenever people post bad takes on Akechi. Going "Akechi is a murderous psychopath" is harmful because it spreads an unfair stigma about psychopathy and mental illness in general as this "crazy" and violent thing, which has been normalized for far too long. And also, it's just not true. Anyone who thinks Akechi is this "remorseless psycho" (keeping in mind this use of the term isn't great) simply does not have more than a surface level reading of the character. His missable November texts make it abundantly clear that he is not happy with what he's doing under Shido. Which, granted, HIGHLY missable text. You have to basically delay Sae's Palace and not go in at all until mid-November. Engine room, 12/24, multiple times in third sem... his remorse is there, it's just subtle or not presented as shaking and crying and begging for forgiveness, because he's a guarded mess of a person (with deep psychological scars, make no mistake- this is not a healthy kid). But even without those texts, there are plenty of times where these feelings are conveyed. His sad reaction when Morgana explains changes of heart (if he had known sooner), his regrets in the engine room and lamentations about Joker's freedom, and I basically did a whole meta post breaking down the important visual and spoken symbolism to Akechi's character that gets boiled down to "hehehe crazy murder boy". Hate or dislike him? Cool, sure, but the normalization in fandom communities of just throwing around mental illness related terms in a derogatory fashion... really isn't good? Like even if Akechi was literally a psychopath or sociopath or had npd or other specific mental illnesses, that doesn't inherently make him evil, nor does it erase his victimhood, which is so integral to his role in the story.

He killed people, yes. That's not really up for debate, and yes he gets feral and over the top in third sem... but that's just over the top edgelord behavior directed at Shadows and focusing only on that ignores everything else he says and does in third sem, yet it happens so much (even though other Phantom Thieves, like Haru, have fun fighting Shadows too). Are we just gonna ignore all the times he's cool, collected, and reasonable in third sem to throw around this antiquated and hurtful idea of what the word "psychopath" means? ._. Just... blarg. I've made many Akechi rambles/rants, but the normalization of ableism surrounding him is not great? I think it's mostly down to ignorance and lack of media literacy, but yeah. Plus it's kinda fucked up how little weight is placed on Shido for teaching him how to do shutdowns (his own admission), the fact that the moment Akechi revealed himself to Shido, he was screwed, because this is a man who took a bump on the head as a reason to ruin Joker's life.

Idk. I think it's not just a P5 fandom trend, even, because it's so normalized the same way people think OCD is this funny quirky mental condition because of shows like Monk when it's an actual disability that can deeply affect people in horrible ways... Mental health awareness is good is all I'm saying.

[nahoyasboyfriend]

Burning desire

warnings: professor and student, fem!reader, shameless smut, creampie bc why not, choking (it's James what did you expect), readers a love(lust)struck loser who likes her teacher.

Word count: 4.8k

A/N: first time writing something on that more the 2k. This isn't proofread, but I hope it's to your liking. This is kinda old so it might be bad. Hope you enjoy!

You arrived fairly early on the first day. It wasn't really intentional—you live only a few blocks away and paranoid that you have somehow overslept, rushed to get ready. Thankfully you aren't too early for the door to be locked, just enough for the classroom to be mostly empty of students. There were two other people in the room, pulling paper and pencils out their bags and not paying you any mind. You make yourself comfortable in your seat—not too close but not painfully far from where the instructor will be—and follow in their example.

With nothing left to do, you pull out your phone to mindlessly scroll until class starts. In the midst of liking some random post, your phone buzzes—the low battery notification pops on the screen. You would forget to charge your phone last night. Sighing, you reach into your bag to grab your charger, sifting through the content of your bag only to find it not in there; you must've left it at home. Just great. After your phone dies, you have no other choice but to either look blankly at your desk or watch the few people here.

You find your eyes flitting across the room to them; it's not like you don't watch people when you're bored anyway.

When you've had your fill of observing, the door opens—it looks like your teacher has finally arrived. You watch the man get himself ready for the upcoming lecture; he’s busy arranging some paperwork so you take the time to ogle him shamelessly. He looks young, maybe around his early thirties. His hair is slicked down to perfection and he has a little pencil mustache—He is, admittedly, rather handsome.

You hadn't expected that. You weren't quite sure what your expectation was—probably thought he'd be some fourty-year old depressed asshole whose wife doesn’t love him. Yeah…that'd be the type of person who looks like they’d teach a course like this one.

Suddenly, he glances up, probably to check how many people had come in. Still, it scares the living daylights out of you—you rip your gaze away from him. Opting to snatch up your phone and pretend you have more interesting things to look at besides your teacher, you feel your face warm up when you still feel his eyes on you. The sound of his chair scraping the floor pulls everyone's attention to the front; he saunters over to the board and jots down his name with Expo marker.

“My name is Mr. March,” he declares with a smile. Oh fuck, he has a nice voice.

You don't pay much attention to the rest of his introduction, but you still enjoy the timbre of his voice. Instead, you go back to admiring his looks in a totally-not-creepy way. He looks like money-personified; the black vest, the white button-up underneath, and the pair of black pants are all crisp and obviously made with premium material. He even walks with a grace that most lack,talking in a manner like he is more of a socialite than a mere college professor.

More students start to flow in and by the time Mr. March is through with going over his expectations for the semester, everyone is seated and ready for class to start.

In the row ahead of you, a group of girls were quietly debating amongst themselves if he was single or not. You would've laughed if you weren't curious yourself. You spent the remainder of class staring at him without listening to a word that left his pretty mouth (later on you beat yourself up for not taking notes). His voice was hypnotic, each word sinking you deeper into whatever trance you were in. He was refined… elegant. Every movement looked calculated.

Honestly, he could be one of those old Hollywood stars. Face perfectly sculpted to be plastered on billboards; a smile born for posters. Briefly, you wondered if you were to go searching that you'd find him in a classical film.

Then, he's looking at you and the world stops—it shouldn't be anything mind-blowing because there's really nothing special about it, but still, you find yourself immobilized. His voice is syrupy, smooth, and mind-numbing. He clears his throat and your cheeks burn. He looks expectant, like he's waiting for something. He definitely asked you a question. Scrambling through your racing thoughts, you just stare dumbly at him, waiting for him to repeat whatever he had asked. He doesn't.

“I, er, don't know,” you mumble sheepishly. He quirks an eyebrow at that, painfully unimpressed. He doesn't say anything for what feels like an eternity and his silence suffocates you. The only sounds in the class were a few chuckles from other students. You shift in your seat.

“You would've known if you had listened to me,” he lightly scolds. You nod, hoping that'll be enough to show that you get his point. He furrows his brows, and he looks like he's about to push it further. Luckily, he takes mercy on you and simply repeats the initial question.

A few more giggles, and the class is back to normal. You'd think being publicly berated would be enough for you to learn your lesson, but it isn't. Because soon enough, his words are going in one ear and out the other—the words meld together into a pleasant hum in the background.

Before you know it, class is over. You bite your lip as you hurry to pack your bags, the shame from earlier returning like a punch to the gut. You don't dare look in his direction, avoiding eye contact at all costs. You scurry out the door, and thank the lord he's your only class of the day.

You let out a long-awaited sigh as you burst through your front door, haphazardly throwing your bag in the corner—you can finally decompress. You study until you feel like your head is about to burst to keep your thoughts off of him and the rather embarrassing way your first day ended.

It's been a few weeks since you got chastised for being an absent-minded idiot, and despite the embarrassment you can't bring yourself to be mad at him. Instead of anger, or even mild annoyance, all you feel is attraction. You try to deny it, bottle it up and push it to the back of your mind. Innocent fascination is what you label it. His passè charm and unconventional way of speaking is why you can't get him out of your head. That's the real reason all your thoughts lead back to him. Why at night you get struck with downright obscene visuals of him. You don't touch yourself— At least not in reality.

The you— you’ve conjured up in your head does, she touches him too. She fondles him in places you'll never see—let alone touch in real life. He says things to her that you'll never hear. He gradually seeps into your dreams, when that happens you wake up with damp underwear, and humiliation that settles deep in the crevices of your gut. It makes seeing him so much worse, but something about him captivates you.

You find yourself sneaking glances when you're convinced he isn't looking– It's the only thing you can't seem to stop– so you indulge. The only rule: don't get caught. And that sounds pretty easy to adhere to. Just don't look too long.

Simple, right?

Naively, you were confident you could do it. It worked for a little while. But at some point, you got complacent. Assured yourself you wouldn't get caught because you were doing so well. Your eyes meet in slow motion, or that's how it felt to you. In the middle of personal study time, so you had no real excuse. Neither of you break eye contact for a few more seconds, and he has a plain, almost bored expression on his face.

Ducking your head down, you stare at your blank paper. You don't pretend to write anything. It's pointless now. You’d been caught red-handed. You simply sit there, wallowing in your shame. That's become your favorite pastime lately. Deciding enough time has passed, you peek up. He's gone back to whatever he was writing and you decide that now is the time to actually write on your paper.

Class ends and you're packing up. You don't rush today, taking your time collecting your things.

“a word, please.”

You swallow dryly, cemented in place. Hesitantly, you peer up at him. His eyes bore deep into your soul like two black voids sucking you in. Growing impatient, he adds: “Yes, you. I'd like to speak to you.”

You dwandle your way to him. He doesn't rush you, at least not verbally, but by the look on his face your torpor was getting under his skin. You pick up the pace. Finally, you reach his desk. “You, um, wanted to speak to me?”

“Mm,” He clasps his hands, sitting them on his desk. “I called you here to discuss your grades,” he says, “you're a clever girl, we're both aware of that. You could be doing so much better, but there's something distracting you, correct?”

For a brief moment thick, uncomfortable silence falls over the two of you. You rummage through your brain for explanations. How could you tell him that he's the distraction? That all your troubles were somehow connected to him.

“I, uh, haven't been keeping up with my studies lately,” you stammer, “My sleep schedule has been kinda messed up,” Because of you. “So, when I get that in order I should be good.”

He frowns, narrowing his eyes slightly; he doesn't look convinced. Standing up, he makes his way to you. He stops in front of you, looming over you like a shadow. He's of average height, but you still have to tilt your head up to meet his gaze. You’re struck by the fragrance of his cologne— god, he smells amazing. He places a hand on your shoulder, you tense up almost immediately. His hand is so big. Shaking those thoughts away, you nervously await his next word.

“If you don't compose yourself, I fear I may have to take on a more… hands-on approach.” he tuts, giving your shoulder a nearly painful squeeze. You blink, dazed. You swallow once more, desperately trying to wet your throat. “I understand,” you utter, voice airy like you'd been running a marathon. You feel dizzy. His words buzzing in your head like tv static.

You honestly just want to get out of here, and wait out the heat that’s building between your thighs. Pleased with your response, he smiles at you. A lazy, feline grin, and you can see the slight indents of his dimples.

“Wonderful!” He replies, gleefully. His hand lets go of your shoulder. Your skin is still throbbing from the contact. “Well, then, you're dismissed.”

When you make it inside, you're panting, body covered in a thin sheen of sweat from speed walking all the way home. You let your bag drop onto the floor, unconcerned with where it lands. You sigh, exasperated. There's a pressure in your chest, or it could be described as a warmth. Or an ache. Or all those things at once. You weren't sure— nor do you really care. All you know is his words keep replaying in your head, muddling all your thoughts.

You practically run to your bed, exhausted from your own thoughts. Before you can attempt to stop it, he's invading your head for the umpteenth time. You groan. That warmth in your chest begins trickling down, pooling in the space between your legs. You can still feel his hand on your shoulder, the dull ache of the squeeze. Flipping onto your back, you stare vacantly at the ceiling. You could only deny yourself for so long. Placing your feet flat on the mattress, your hand slips past the band of your panties. A little relaxation couldn't hurt. Especially with how pent up you've been, It was well deserved.

You let out a breathless little whine when your fingers brush your swollen clit. God, you needed this. You run a finger through your folds, the slick sticks your skin. Using your wetness to ease the friction, you rub slow circles on your clit, and your eyes flutter shut. You could see him on the back of your eyelids. Your hips buck up pathetically into your own hand. You're leaking, cunt quivering around nothing.

You could still smell him. The scent of his cologne was intoxicating, even now it lingered in your nose. Rich and velvety. Something that wealthy decadents would wear just to let you know you'd never be able to afford it. You push a finger in, various curses fall from your lips. His hands– my god, his hands. They're so big. So strong. You slip another finger in. The heel of your hand grinds against your clit, and the feeling sends chills down your spine.

You're a writhing, squirming mess on your bed. The squelching from your fingers thrusting into your dripping cunt has the tips of your ears burning, but you don't stop. You picture him, his fingers knuckle deep in your cunt, methodically fucking them in and out of you. You imagine him curling them inside of you, and you mimic the motion in real life, sending another rush of slick gushing out. You think about the sweet purr of his voice, urging you on— instructing you to cum, so you do. You come hard, mumbling his name like he's your new god.

The shower after is long and quiet, you spend a good portion letting the water run down your body to soothe your tense muscles. You don't play any music or hum anything. You’re barely thinking. Your only goal is to get in bed and pass out. And when you finish, that's exactly what you do. You snuggle into your covers and as soon as your head hits the pillow you're out.

Your eyelids slowly peel apart; heavy. Your entire body feels like a bag of rocks. You lie there, taking long, drawn-out blinks. There's a strange peacefulness in the air. None of the usual worry that fills your head, no noise besides your soft breaths, and the sweet song of the birds outside. You prop yourself up, reaching out to your bedside table to grab your phone. With a click your phone turns on, the sudden light blinds you. Blinking away the blurriness, your eyes begin to focus on the big white numbers: 11:25

You stumble out of the comfort of your bed. You have five minutes to get ready and head out the door. Running to your dresser, you pull out some clothes to wear. How you manage the sleep through your numerous alarms was beyond you, but nevertheless that didn't turn back time. You shuffle into your bra, throw the shirt over your head, and jump into a pair of pants. You're able to get the important parts of your morning routine done. Besides a few things like washing your face and properly brushing your hair. Giving yourself a once-over, you decide you don't look too bad. Just a little lazier than normal but casual enough. Sighing, you depart to class.

Standing in front of the door, you take a deep breath, straighten your back. You can already see his face, his mouth pressed into a hard line. A flicker of disappointment in his eyes. You knock on the door, and wait for it to open. When you hear a soft click, you push the door open, hurrying to your seat. When you sit down, you glance at him and he's already looking at you. Face devoid of any signs of what he's feeling. You pluck the needed supplies out of your bag, and he continues the lesson.

The class goes excruciatingly slow. Focusing seems near impossible, so you resort to scribbling down anything you deem important without actually listening to what he's saying. Which you can only hope doesn't bite you in the ass too much in the future. The class comes to a close, and before you can even think about leaving he's calling your name. You wince, forcing yourself to walk to his desk. He's definitely gonna tear a chunk out of you.

“Sir?” You mutter, ashamed.

“You were late,” he states, plain and simple. His words linger heavily in the air.

“I, um, slept in. I apologize, it was a mistake on my part.” You sputter, fidgeting with the strap of your bag. He lifted his head, eyes piercing into you. Your mouth squeezes shut.

“you slept in,” he echoes, empty. With a stern tone, he adds, “Excuses will not be tolerated, especially after I gave an explicit warning to get yourself together.”

You feel queasy, like your stomach rolling in on itself. You don't know what to say. Your heartbeat pounds in your head, rattles your ribcage, reverberating through your entire body. You don't know what to do that doesn't make you seem more of a fool than you already are. So you say the only thing that's worked for you so far.

“I know, sir. I am truly sorry.”

“Indeed you are,” he purrs as inches closer to you, fingertips dragging against his desk. His intense eye contact frightens you, makes you feel like he'd put a giant red target on you: open prey. A strange, uncomfortable heat flushing your body, feels akin to little fires starting from the tips of your fingers. He stops in front of you, closer than you would deem comfortable, but you couldn't move— something willing you to stay right where you are. A need.

You feel trapped, or rather, you're paralyzed. Even though there's nothing constraining you, and all you have to do is walk out the room. You can't move; his eyes immobilize you, demanding that you stay. Reluctantly, you obey. He settles a hand on your shoulder, “yet, you're not sorry enough to listen.” Before you can defend yourself, his hand slowly starts traveling up, gently wrapping around your neck. You notice, but oddly enough, you choose not to question it. “So, I must ask, what's distracting you? And there's no need for any falsities, my dear.”

You freeze, eyes wide. Dumb and glassy, fawn-like. “it’s- it's really not important, and I promise that I'll straighten out my behavior. It's been a rough week.” you murmur, the tips of your ears burning.

He frowns, hand flexing around your neck. You don't know if it was intentional, but it gets his point across all the same. “Like I said, there's no reason for further deception.”

Sucking in a deep breath and closing your eyes, you mentally agree he's right and getting it off your chest could probably do you some good. “It's you. You're my problem– or my distraction, in your words.”

He doesn't look fazed. In fact, he looks like he knew before you even opened your mouth. He looked like he could tell you every thought you had verbatim. After a moment of silence, he inquires, “how long?”

Innocuous, but still you shy away from him. Your mouth squeezes shut, and your head is about to turn to the side, but he's capturing your face in his hand— forcing you to look at him. His grip is firm, nails lightly digging into the fat of your cheeks.

“since the, um, first day” you murmur, skittish.

He gives a slight nod. He knew you were attracted to him, but he had ignored it. Flicking off your open desire as a fleeting crush. That, like the other girls, you'd move on. Unfortunately for the two of you, you never did. But day after day of seeing the desperation mixed with adoration swirling around in your big, bright doe eyes, even though he would never speak it aloud, stirred something in him. And now, you’re in front of him with your heart in your hands. that pathetic, helpless look on your pretty face. it set something off within him, a spark of heat he couldn't ignore.

“Is that so…” he responds, casually. Offhandedly, even. He’s pensive, looking at you with a blank face. He’s always withdrawn, always hard to read. You never can guess what's going on in that head of his, and that was something you admired. But right now, you wished you could crack open his skull and hear his thoughts for yourself.

The tension is tangible, turning the air thick. You wish he would do anything to rid you of this horrible ache in your chest. Shoo away the sinking pit in your stomach that grows the more his silence drags on.

“Do something,” you whisper. You don't know what to expect. You can't begin to predict what he'll do with your confession, but you figure he'll send you off with a broken heart and your tail tucked between your legs.

His face scrunched up, and then it straightened out. turning eerily calm with a strange sense of resolve. unceremoniously, his mouth crashes into yours. hungry and ravenous. For a second, you didn't reciprocate. you were stupefied by his forwardness. you had expected many things but not a kiss. After gaining your bearings, you carefully carefully began to kiss back, following the pace he had set. His teeth sink into your bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood. you whimper, and he lets out a low groan, lapping away the metallic liquid.

your heart hammered in the confines of your chest. you were high off the taste of him. a mixture of mint and nicotine. you wanted more, you wanted everything he was willing to dish out. your hands gripped at the fabric of his shirt, tugging him closer. it was so surreal— his warmth, his scent, his lips on yours. it was something you couldn't let fall through your fingers. Then without pulling away, he’s spinning you around, backing you up until you're perched on the edge of his desk.

Your mind is misty. your vision blurs at the edges like a gossamer film is covering it. If it's from the lack of oxygen, or how incredibly unreal the situation is still impossible to ascertain. He pulls away to attach himself to your neck, leaving feverish open mouth kisses on your neck. You can feel him inhaling against your skin, breathing you in. Without warning, he digs his teeth into the thin skin between the junction of your neck and shoulder.

He laves his tongue over the indents left behind, and you take it as a silent apology. James squeezes your thigh, massaging it. You’re soft to the touch, pliant. Almost pillowy. His hand snakes down, down, down. Slipping into your pants, past the band of your panties. His fingers brush against your sensitive clit, and you spread your legs further to give him more room. You're leaking over the pads of his fingers, and he dips lower, collecting it. He smears your wetness on your aching bud in tight, deliberate circles. You let out soft pants, rolling your hips against him, desperate for more contact.

“More,” you whine. A small pout tugging at your plump lips.

“you want more, hm? Such a greedy little thing you are,” he croons, giving your clit a mean pinch. It yanks a squeal out of you. The melange of pain and pleasure confuses you, entices you. You give him a meek nod tugging your bottom lip between your teeth. He plunges two fingers in your needy cunt, and your back curves. He hums, pumping his fingers into you with a steady pace. He rolls your aching nub beneath his thumb. It's methodical, automatic. Downright robotic the way he splits you apart on his nimble fingers. He touches you like he's known you for an entire lifetime, strumming your chords like he knows exactly what to do to make you cry out.

His fingers are long, slender, and so, so pretty. And god does he know how to use them. With pinpoint precision, he's curling his fingers inside of you, pressing that spot inside of you that has your eyes rolling into your skull. You're gushing around him, and the squelch of it is obscene. It's embarrassing how you fall apart merely from his deft fingers. Nonsensical babbles fall from your mouth, too high off pleasure to make sense, but he doesn't seem to mind. Soon, a coil begins to tighten in your groin. A buzzing heat in your lower region. It's undeniable, inescapable.

“M gonna cum, don't stop– please, please, please.” You babble, your fingers gripping for purchase on his desk.

Frissions of pleasure shoot through your body like lightning. Your mouth falls agape, and you tilt your head back. The coil snaps, and you quickly begin to unravel around his fingers. He eases you through it, doesn't stop until you've stopped trembling, and then he's sliding you off the desk. He turns you around, and places a sizable hand on your back, bending you over the table. He hastily tugs your pants down, leaving them bunched up at your mid-thigh.

You feel the tip of his cock probe your entrance. Nervous, you press your warm face against the varnished wood, letting a wave of relief wash over you from its coldness. He doesn't give you time to prepare before he's bottoming out. The stretch burns, a dull incessant ache. You don't realize you're gritting your teeth until the feeling ebbs and shifts into velvety pleasure. To your surprise, his thrusts are a measured pace, rhythmic. Maybe he was taking mercy on you, but he quickly loses the pace for something rougher. Fast and hard, thrusts that jolt you forward, edge of the desk biting into your hips.

“is this what you wanted? to be bent over my desk like the needy little harlot you are.” you let out a high pitched whine at that, cunt fluttering around his cock. he was so crude, so incredibly mean, but he was right. he's so right that it's embarrassing.

you feel a vascular hand wrap around your neck, tugging you into an arch. “say it, tell me this is what you wanted,” he grunts, hips snapping hard against yours, it was downright painful.

“this is what I wanted,” you cry out, nodding your head. “good girl,” he utters, his tone ominously dark. it sent chills racing down your spine. his other hand wraps around your neck, and he begins to squeeze. at first, it's harmless, it's not tight enough to do damage, just applying pressure. it wasn't until he didn't stop squeezing that you started to panic. eyes going wide and glassy, your hands tried to peel his hands away to no avail. so you tried to scratch at them, in hopes that he'd finally pull away. but he didn't budge. your lungs were starting to burn, your thoughts getting increasingly fuzzy.

despite all of this, he didn't stop his ruthless thrusting. your cunt clamped down on his cock, squeezing him for all that he's worth. your vision starts to blur, everything begins melting together. your hands drop back down to the desk, and you can feel yourself going limp in his hold. you couldn't tell if you were simply going to pass out, or if you close your eyes you're going to die, but you didn't want to find out.

a dribble of drool slinks down your chin. your head is throbbing. there's a dull ringing in your ears, and it's becoming harder to keep yourself awake or alive. feeling your eyes closing on their own, you felt stinging tears rushing down your cheeks. then, you felt it, a sudden warmth in your lower region. that familiar ache in your womb. a few more harsh thrusts, and you were leaking all over his cock. he followed suit, thick ropes of cum fill you up soon after. thankfully, he let go. you thought he was going to kill you for a second.

gasping, you lurched forward, letting yourself rest on the desk. your head was spinning and your legs felt like jello. you didn't speak, just laid there. It takes you a minute to collect yourself. Especially after fearing for your life. You were pretty sure he was going to kill you. He pulls out of your wordlessly, slipping his cock back in his pants. Once you convince yourself that you're okay, you pull up your pants. The feeling of his cum gushing out of you is kinda gross but you can deal. You're going straight home anyway so you can wash it off when you get there.

He doesn't say anything until you're walking away, "I hope to see you again tomorrow. We still have much to improve after class."

The implications are enough to have you red-faced and very excited for the day to come. You don't know why you're still fooling around with him. Despite the fact that he may be dangerous. It entices you further like the dumb little girl you are. So, like an idiot, you give a coy smile over your shoulder, "yes, Mr. March. I'll be there."

[wings-of-ink]

Future IFs Poll

So, in case you have not seen me post about it before, I am considering a project to do on the side while I work on God-Cursed. This will help me take breaks from my main work and stretch my creativity muscles with different characters and settings. I'd like a bit of feedback from what readers are more interested in from the best ideas I can potentially pull from right now. Feel free to vote, comment, or even send an ask if you want to be anonymous.

Over the last year or so, I have jotted down many basic plots I could expound on, but only a few have really stuck out to me as ones I could really expand in a meaningful way.

So, a couple housekeeping things to keep in mind. Whatever ends up getting written, it will have a modern-day setting. The fantasy playground is fun, but I really want a more real-world setting for this one. I am also debating about all ROs being gender-selectable. Since this side piece is supposed to be a little oasis for me too, not having each RO as customizable would ease the work that goes into it, and it might actually mean I can have more than just a few options for you as well. I am also considering a middle ground and having one or two characters customizable still while the others will be set.

Below I have given some details on the ideas I'm working with and further down is a poll that you can vote for the one that calls out to you the most. I have 2 ideas so far that are standouts among the others, but I've included 4 in the poll that I can work with. The winner isn't guaranteed to be what I end up writing, but I am very strongly going to consider the results while I decide. I like all these ideas and they sound fun to write - so none of this telling me to write what I want - I already want to do them all, lol (looking at you @elegantunknownphantom). There are caveats to each one, of course, and I'll explain that in the details.

Options:

Serial-killer crime drama:  "Daddy was a Killer" (title sounds like it came from a Lifetime original movie, but I really like it)

No doting daddies here, readers. Play as the traumatized child of a serial killer with repressed memories of the horrible things they witnessed daddy do. Get accused of a murder you didn't commit (probably), and try to catch your darling dad while dealing with the psychological devastation of all the horrors you've seen before he can kill again (and again, and again). Discover where your daddy disappeared to all those years ago, and what really happened to your mom.

Downsides:  I have a decent grasp of the plot on this one, but it would require a good deal of research (which I tend to do anyway to an extent), since I'd like a fairly realistic feel to the actual crime-solving stuff. Either that, or I can go the "rogue detective" route and play it fast and loose. This work would be in a wheelhouse I've never quite been in before, which is fun on one hand but nerve-wracking on another.

RO ideas include:

A smarmy detective (of course!)

A neighbor concerned for your well-being (mostly because you scream in your sleep)

And the child of one of your daddy's victims.

Supernatural mystery:  "Shivers" (title up for adjustment, but I kinda dig it)

Play as an MC with a bizarre anxious tic - an intense and chilling shiver that you get seemingly out of nowhere. It only lasts a couple seconds and you've dealt with it since childhood, so it's easily dismissed. That is, until you experience a sudden surge in occurrences. Your doctor writes it off as stress from dealing with the erratic behavior of your mother. But after a near-death experience, during which this mysterious tic guides you to safety, you know there is more to it than stress. With the help of your best friend(s) and a shady medium, find out what has attached itself to you and what seeks to claim you, discover who your real father is, and embrace or deny your own strengths as a medium.

Downsides:  I feel like there's a lot of supernatural IFs already, some of which are already similar to this or have similar aspects. This one probably won't have the drama/emotional potential that some of the others do, which may be a boon to some readers as it would be a little lighter.

RO ideas include:

the best friend(s) (potentially 2 besties to choose from - twins)

a (mostly) fake spiritual medium

a brave EMT who came to your rescue

and something…otherworldly.

Gritty Drama:  no title  (more of a framework to build from)

This one would be completely riddled with warnings, and I kinda just see it as being a fun outlet for some angst, smut, unhinged shit, and violence. 👍

The ideas for this one didn't start around a firm plot, but around a setting/scenario stemming from one of my OCs. The vibe here is very much "sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll" and fits into the seedy nightclub/crime ring thing. It would be a playground of questionable characters and life-choices. You would choose the dire straits that put your MC in the employ of a dangerous kingpin. Perhaps MC owes a lot of money to someone, got into trouble with a rival faction, or was framed for a crime, etc.... You'd get to choose the MC's line of work under the organization - be it in drugs, entertainment (music/dance/alcohol/sex), or security. The issue that leads to your employ under a sex-peddling drug-trafficker will haunt you in your new life in the middle of a war between the rulers of the underground.

Downsides:  Not super fleshed-out plot wise, but I don't think it would be too hard to build on either. I may want to use this setting (or something like it) and my OC for a different project one of these days, but I'm unsure about that as well. And, the obvious, red flags and triggers everywhere for a setting like this.

RO ideas: 

One person from each potential "job" (the head of security, a chemist who seems too pure to be making hard drugs, a sex-worker, the clumsy bartender, a cute DJ)

A member of a rival faction

And for the brave and stupid - your boss - a clever and unhinged woman with an affinity for knives. And, no, she will never love you.

Futuristic:  no title (needs the most work)

Including this one to just get a feel for how it's received, but I anticipate that it won't get quite as much backing as the others. I have the character-creation concept in mind which lends itself to a plot, and a RO or two, but that's about it. I think I could do something fun with it, but I've also never written anything futuristic or scifi before. This would be akin to "Detroit: Become Human."

Though the setting would be futuristic, I am pretty sure I wouldn't want to do a dystopian thing. There's a lot of that out there already and we're basically living it IRL; it's a blast to read, but I want the main focus to be on something else if I do this. There would still be pockets of grittiness to the setting, because if we're talking humanity, there's gonna be grit somewhere. But this world would be more post-dystopian. Say, the rebels won and life has gotten better across the board for people? And though everyday life has a lot of tech enhancements, we haven't seen sentient machines - yet. That's where you come in.

The MC Concept is that they are an android - of course! One of the nice made-to-order kind that only the rich can afford. But what makes the MC unique is that while everyone else requests specific things about the androids they purchase - such as gender, looks and even downloadable personalities - an order comes in that's blank. It only requests that the android be allowed to choose who they are and how they look. "The Buyer" will pay for whatever personality, enhancements, or clothing they want - but the android must make the choices themselves.

As your MC goes through these initial choices, equipped only with a basic "education" software full of un-opinionated information about the world and how it works, something unusual begins to spark within them (not that they know how unusual it is yet).

RO ideas:

The Buyer–a gender-selectable person who sets your creation in motion. They're wealthy, well-respected, earnest, and incredibly lonely. Who are they really and why did they do this?

The Scientist–a hopefully trustworthy person that's very interested in your development

The Punk–someone who wants to give you the "real" human experience.

Make your selection below. Comment your thoughts and ideas as well if you like. This is set for a week and I will reblog here and there so it has a chance to reach as many of you who would like to vote as possible.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Every Episode of Miraculous Ladybug Season 5 Ranked (Part 1)

(Meme made by @eddo-tensei)

I'd like to apologize for this post taking so long, and my lack of activity this year in general. I've had a lot of things going on. I've been trying to search for a new career, I've been taking on more hours at work, I've started working out more, and I might be considering going back to school to pursue one of my career options. I've been very busy, and I know this isn't an excuse for the lack of content. I'm going to try making more posts on this blog when I can, because after this ranking post and the movie review, I won't have as many big projects to work on. With that being said, let's get to the main event.

I had very few positive things to say about Season 5, and it'll be reflected here. With Season 4, I at least had some clear outliers for the best and worst episodes, but because so many of these episodes blended together, it's hard to really rank them. At best, there were two or three episodes I thought were good, and not even really good like the highlights of Season 4. So this time, I'll be taking a page from one of Schaffrillas Productions' ranking videos, specifically his Illumination Entertainment ranking video. Rather than rank every episode from worst to best, I'm going to rank them from best to worst.

In a way, I'm giving you the quintessential Season 5 experience, starting off with high expectations before a gradual descent into mediocrity.

#1: Intuition

Season 5 really needed more episodes like this one. A good chunk of the season just defaulted to the same old Akuma of the week formula while Monarch stayed cooped up in his lair as usual. Yes, while it was justified thanks to his Cataclysm wound, it kept the writers from really capitalizing on his expanded arsenal other than giving Akumas powers he didn't need Miraculous to give them in earlier seasons. This episode is built on the three major aspects established at the beginning of the season that the writers should have been focusing on instead of Love Square drama: Gabriel secretly dying, Gabriel having access to over a dozen Miraculous, and Ladybug and Cat Noir needing to fight an uphill battle against Monarch.

For the most part, Monarch's plan is well thought out and the stakes feel high as a result. Not only does Monarch get creative with the Miraculous he has at his disposal, he exploits the heroic nature Ladybug and Cat Noir have by forcing them to choose between saving an innocent astronaut or the people of Paris. The meteor threatening Paris feels like a threat precisely because Ladybug and Cat Noir can't get any help to deal with something this big, and have to deal with it on their own. The fact that Monarch also essentially has a hostage trapped inside Bugfighter helps add to the drama.

This is the episode that arguably does the most with the space power-ups. Ever since they were introduced in the New York Special, they were mostly used by Ladybug and Cat Noir to fly across long distances, and even then, there were episodes where the writers forgot they could have used those forms to resolve the conflict (Crocoduel). Here, because most of the action is primarily set in space, the abilities of Cosmobug and Astro Cat are on full display, and it's a nice shakeup from the usual fights set in Paris.

But the best part of the episode is arguably Gabriel. While he does make multiple questionable decisions (whether they were intended to be seen as stupid by the writers is up for debate), this episode is a pretty decent character piece for Gabriel, and fleshes him out the most this season. Putting aside my problems with the writers changing the rules of the Snake Miraculous specifically so Gabriel can't use it like with the Rooster, Gabriel's behavior and body language really sells the fact that his days are numbered. For most of the season, Gabriel's Cataclysm wound was a mild inconvenience at worst, but this episode shows just why he can't go out to fight Ladybug and Cat Noir himself.

It's pretty ironic in a way. Even though he has fifteen Miraculous and is arguably the most powerful character in the show at this point, Gabriel's paranoia and arrogance prevent him from taking full advantage of his arsenal. Gabriel is so dead set on achieving his goal, he's willing to abuse the Snake Miraculous' power to find a way to win, despite the risks it has to his health. He can't trust any regular Akuma with Second Chance, and even a close ally like Tomoe isn't above being tricked by Gabriel using that same power. It's that same sense of narcissism that leads to his downfall, as while Gabriel has more power than Ladybug, he just can't outsmart her.

It's a really good episode, and was an exception to the kind of lousy writing we got during Season 5, instead of being the norm.

#2: Action

You know, it says a lot about the show when not only is arguably one of the most universally loved episodes in recent memory is the first in years to not have Astruc in the writing team, not only is it not connected to the ongoing story in any meaningful way, but it's also an environmental PSA, episodes that are usually not viewed in a positive light.

The characterization is somewhat strong here. Other than Nino being the one to lead the protests, nobody is really annoying or out of character, which works in the story's favor. There's no melodrama, no Marinette needing to learn some contrived lesson, or no Adrien being portrayed as being right about everything. It's the kids versus Big Plastic, and nothing else.

The thing that makes the story work is that compared to other environmental PSA episodes, it actually acknowledges how complicated of an issue the nature of pollution is. There aren't any characters who want to keep polluting the environment. There are just circumstances in place that prevent them from taking a stand against an injustice like this. Influential figures in Paris like Gabriel, Andre, and Nadja have connections to the company enabling the pollution, and whether it be for financial or political reasons, they're essentially dependent on it.

This kind of approach to the pollution extends to the antagonist, Bertrand. What I like about him is that compared to other rich people on this show, he's not incompetent or actively malicious. He just sees what he's doing as a business, and he can't think of any other ways to make money. He even points out how much plastic is used in modern society and that his company makes plastic for a reason. He's kind of like a less overtly antagonistic version of Mr. Waternoose from Monsters, Inc. in a way. He's aware of what he's doing, but he views profit as more important. The difference is that unlike Waternoose, Bertrand realizes the error of his ways and starts finding ways to change how his company operates.

However, this extends to one of the bigger problems I have with the episode. Because it spends so much time trying to flesh out the opposition's argument, it doesn't really give the audience enough reasons to support the heroes protesting. Yes, it's morally correct to protest, but there's nothing else to make the audience understand why they're in the right to oppose pollution. Considering how this was meant to be used to educate kids on pollution, I guess I can give it a pass for at least doing a decent job getting the point across, even if I personally would have given more of an explanation as to why the heroes are right.

What I can't give the episode a pass for is how the conflict is resolved. For an environmental PSA episode, I cannot for the life of me comprehend why the writers thought it would be a good idea for the Akuma of the week to be defeated by plastic and pollution. Like, my brother in Christ, you're supposed to teach kids about why pollution is a bad thing! Did nobody think about the implications this would bring? Actually, given the other things that happened this season, that probably checks out.

A pretty decent episode if not for the ending polluting the moral.

#3: Migration

While this one is one of the better episodes of Season 5, it still has its fair share of problems.

The most obvious one comes in the lesson its trying to teach with contrasting Bob and Jagged. It clearly wants to talk about redemption and self-improvement, but as I discussed in the overall analysis post, this show really doesn't have a good grasp on writing redemption arcs. For one thing, I really wouldn't compare Jagged becoming a better father to Bob being a selfish asshole because while Jagged abandoning his family was a terrible thing, since it was done more out of selfishness than outright malice. Bob on the other hand, is just a dick who wants to make money because this show's views on the business world make the Ferengi in Star Trek seem nuanced by comparison.

The episode spends so much more time showing how easy it is to be tricked by people rather than showing how important having trust in someone is, and it really muddles the lesson as a result. “See? Jagged changed easily, so that's a good enough reason to justify characters like Bob being irredeemably evil!” If you wanted to teach kids about trusting others, don't have it be in the same episode as the lesson about others taking advantage of your goodwill.

Putting that aside, Luka had a pretty decent swan song that tested his loyalty to Ladybug and Cat Noir. You can really buy his determination to keep their identities a secret from Monarch and his decision to leave his home to make sure this information stays a secret makes sense. Well, as long as you don't count Luka announcing the fact that he knows their identities to plenty of potential hostages and victims for Monarch, but then again, that moron never does anything smart with the intel he gets. We really needed more focus episodes showing the former temp heroes helping out Ladybug and Cat Noir in their own ways, not just having them all form a stupid resistance that does almost nothing useful all season.

The conflict with Gold Record also worked well here. I like how Monarch's simple plan to akumatize Luka turned into a plan to figure out Ladybug and Cat Noir's identities that just happened to use a different Akuma. I'd argue it was done better than in “Truth” because of how the victims aren't just forced to tell the truth, they're thrown out into space, so the stakes are pretty high. I'll admit the way they stop Gold Record is pretty anti-climactic, and you could argue Luka didn't even need to tell Ladybug he knew her identity with out easily the situation is resolved right after he's turned into a record. I think it would have worked better if Luka's secret was that he said he was jealous of Adrien for managing to be the one Marinette loves over him instead of just knowing the heroes' identities.

It's a flawed, but still okay episode to rewatch. It's a good thing Luka knew how bad this season was getting so he headed out the first chance he got. If only he stayed out of Paris instead of becoming one of Su-Han's students offscreen before the finale.

#4: Elation

You know this season is abysmal when, of all things, a Glaciator episode ends up making the top 5, and you know how much I love those episodes.

Of all the episodes to feature the Adrienette drama, I feel like this one had the best execution of it. You can really understand the emotional turmoil Marinette is going through and how hard things are for her. You also get how hard it is for Cat Noir to have to turn down the girl he loves after having so much fun with her. Remember, as far as he knows, he's taking advantage of his status as a superhero to make a move on a civilian like Marinette. The fact that he's aware of this and is willing to break it off himself is a far cry from the entitled little twerp he was last season. While I think Marichat could have been explored more, the fact that it ends here makes for a pretty solid transition into Adrienette becoming official next episode.

Alya also has some decent characterization here. Yeah, she goes against some of the things she said earlier this season, but we get a little glimmer of her Season 4 self by having her realize the error of her ways and actually make an attempt to support her friend. Of course, she goes back to the same old Season 5 Alya, but it's something.

Something I didn't really think about until after I originally posted the review was how confusing the episode's stance on shipping is. Like, we're supposed to side with Marinette and be against everyone trying to dictate who she's supposed to be in love with... but the people trying to tell her who she's in love with are technically right by pointing out her feelings for Adrien. Yes, nobody else knows that Adrien is Cat Noir, but with how much buildup Adrienette has gotten over the years, it's really confusing that the writers are acting like it's weird that people are obsessed with Marinette's love life. Pointing out how annoying Alya and Andre are by refusing to believe Marinette could have feelings for someone who isn't Adrien is basically the pot calling the kettle black.

Maybe if this was a Season 2 or 3 episode focusing on Marinette's growing feelings for Luka, this kind of story could have worked, but as it stands, it's a very confusing stance for the writers to take. Overall, a pretty decent episode.

#5: Evolution

It's the first part of what I like to call the “Remember When This Season Looked Kinda Promising?” Trilogy.

This episode really seemed like there was going to be a change in direction for Season 5 with how it was structured. Rather than immediately go back to the Akuma of the week formula, the characters, for the most part, make choices most people would make if they were in their shows. What does Gabriel do as soon as he gets all the Miraculous in the Miracle Ball? He whips out the Rabbit Miraculous and immediately decides to travel through time to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous before they can even stop him. The best part is that Ladybug almost immediately catches onto Monarch's plan and isn't too confused when Bunnix shows up to bring them along. Of course, both Ladybug and Monarch still do stupid things that contradict these smart decisions, but it's the thought that counts.

I like how this episode is taking advantage of its premise and makes it about a race through time to stop Monarch before he screws up history. It's a decent idea to call back to older episodes, but the issue is how they don't really do much to explain why nobody noticed this. Even events where the past versions of the heroes were right there when the current versions were fighting Monarch don't get so much as a mention. I think it could have worked more if they stayed undetected, but during the chaos of the fighting, our Ladybug accidentally sets up things past Ladybug could use for her Lucky Charm. That way, it would help sell the idea of this being more of a self-contained time loop.

Something that I actually thought was clever foreshadowing was when Monarch went back in time to save Emilie. He doesn't just steal the Peacock Miraculous or tell his past self to not use it. He specifically plans to give instructions to fix the broken Peacock Miraculous, as if to say one of its creations is too important to be erased from history...

Speaking of Sentimonsters, Cat Noir and Ladybug have some good teamwork here, confirming that we're finally done with the Cat Dour drama from last season. While I feel like it could have been handled better, I like the idea of Ladybug's guilt being what motivated her to trust Cat Noir with the Rabbit Miraculous, and when they go to see the younger version of Master Fu, they feel more like equals while choosing a Miraculous.

So with all the positive things I had to say, why isn't this episode higher on the list. Well, the thing is that when there weren't moments I enjoyed, most of my thoughts on this episode were like this:

A good chunk of the episode is the characters making stupid decision after stupid decision in order to make sure we get twenty-six more episodes. I can at least buy Monarch getting overconfident with all the new Miraculous he has, but Ladybug and Cat Noir don't get that excuse. They get a total of five chances to get back the Miraculous, but other than just getting the Rabbit back, Ladybug keeps choosing to say she's going to take the Miraculous back instead of just GRABBING THEM FIRST AND THEN GLOATING. There are James Bond villains who think you're taking too long. We're really supposed to see Monarch as a threat when the only reason why he keeps getting away is because the heroes are too stupid to do what any sensible person would do in their position. Seriously, if the Winx Club were the ones chasing Monarch throughout history, they'd most likely be spending more time discussing who's paying for milkshakes after they drop his bruised and battered body off at the police station.

And then there's Monarch himself, who has to be told to go back and save his wife instead of getting the Miraculous to make a wish. The episode tries to imply that Gabriel has more selfish intentions, but the finale pretty much throws that away and makes it so he just misses his wife. I'll give you a moment to process the shock of this show setting up a character arc and doing nothing with it. The fact that he blames Ladybug for his own mistakes is pretty much the only thing that connects the two, since Ladybug acts like Monarch is too powerful to stop in a fight when she kept screwing up chances to take back the Miraculous.

I also really don't like the way Master Fu and Alix were used in this episode. For one thing, if Ladybug and Cat Noir can easily use time travel to borrow Miraculous from the younger Fu, why can't they just do that until they stop Monarch? Yeah, they gave the Rabbit Miraculous to Alix, but why can't they just call her up to go to Fu for some Miraculous Ladybug and Cat Noir need? Speaking of, is nobody going to acknowledge the fact that Alix was just forced to become Bunnix after getting the Rabbit Miraculous? Last season made a big deal about how stressful Marinette becoming the Guardian was, and now we're just okay with Alix being forced to bear what is arguably an even bigger burden?

Overall, while not a terrible start to the season, it still had a lot to work on while still having its fair share of positive moments.

#6: Destruction

Much like with “Evolution”, there seemed to be some improvement here on the writing and characterization, but fell apart towards the end.

I like how Marinette, Alya, and Cat Noir all work together to outsmart Monarch with Alya distracting him long enough to follow the trap Ladybug and Cat Noir set up for him. It's a pretty clever gambit, and it's nice that Cat Noir actually gets to play a part in it. “Evolution” showed that Monarch was too powerful to take on in a fight, so a battle of wits is the best option to stop him, something that fits Ladybug perfectly.

I also like how, once again, the writers explain why Monarch can't use something as powerful as the Rooster Miraculous to win, even if it's a really stupid explanation. But hey, I'm just some moron who thinks that the Rooster Miraculous shouldn't be a diet version of the Power Cosmic.

Something that was very clever was the reveal of the episode taking place before a previous episode, “Multiplication”. It adds rewatch value to earlier episodes, it allows kids watching to figure out what happened without explaining every single part of the twist, and it's something this season really should have done more often.

However, that's where my compliments end here. The main problem with this episode is how the climax pretty much ruins the clever plan Ladybug set up. She takes forever to explain her plan to Monarch in great detail, and we're supposed to be surprised that Monarch managed to escape. She didn't even think to just pull off his Miraculous first and then gloat about how awesome she is. Hell, she somehow showed more concern over Monarch escaping thanks to her incompetence instead of Cat Noir accidentally Cataclysming him. But then again, this is the same person who will try to Cataclysm Monarch several times in the season finale. Something that's also weird is that they set up the idea of Monarch escaping with the Lucky Charm, but nothing ever comes of it. You'd think it would be important with how much emphasis is put on nothing else being able to heal Gabriel, but it's never mentioned in the season finale. It could have been an easy way to show Marinette resolving the conflict, by healing her greatest enemy and giving him the chance to better himself... instead of having Gabriel die and Marinette choosing to wash her hands of the whole “I let the universe end” thing.

This episode also showed just how forgettable the Kwamis are as characters. The show wants to make a big deal about how cruel Gabriel is to have control over them, but none of them have any real personality other than “Annoying toddler on a sugar high”. Even putting aside how insufferable they were last season, there's just not enough in this episode to really get you invested in their plight. Not even Trixx, the Kwami who got the most screentime other than Tikki and Plagg last season, gets a single line here.

This episode had promise, but the way it fumbled the landing really ruined it for me.

#7: Multiplication

I swear, I didn't intend for the first three episodes of Season 5 to be ranked like this in chronological order of all things. It was a happy accident, almost miraculous if you will.

Anyway, this episode was okay. It was a decent follow-up to “Evolution”. I like how it's more of a slow character piece for Marinette as she tries to deal with her guilt and conflicting feelings for Adrien after the betrayal. This was the few episodes that I feel really nailed the emotional moments with Marinette this season. There's no overdramatic dialogue, there's no exclusive focus on Adrien (at least at first), and it's played 100% seriously. I also thought it was a decent idea to have the people of Paris prepare for the worst with Monarch, even if it went nowhere. Even the Akuma was handled pretty well, as it allowed the writers to show off the gimmick this season with Ikari Gozen using Multiplication while Ladybug and Cat Noir get to show actual teamwork for a change.

But the problem with this episode was how nobody really seemed to care about the threat Monarch poses. Not only does Alya go back caring more about Marinette's love life, not only does everyone else in Paris seem to forget about Monarch after a few weeks, but Adrien's only role this episode is to realize his feelings for Marinette instead of thinking about the role he also played in Monarch getting all the other Miraculous. Yeah, who cares about serious introspection from someone who spent an entire season trying to show he's just as capable a hero as his partner while inadvertently being part of the reason why she lost her other allies? I want to see him try to kiss someone multiple times without their consent!

And yeah, let's talk about the kissing joke and how it's more than just unfunny, it's almost disgusting with how it's presented. We're supposed to laugh at Marinette for resisting Adrien's attempts to kiss her multiple times when she has every right to not want to be kissed without her consent. The entire joke is that it's happening just as Marinette is trying to get over her feelings for Adrien, but even if she still liked him, it's still against her consent Remember, this is the same show that tried to teach kids about the importance of consent in episodes like “Felix” and “Lies”, yet it never applied to Adrien in this episode, to the point where Alya tries to restrain Marinette so she can't resist or run away.

“But IOTA! It's a cultural thing in France!” Fine, maybe it is, but there's three problems with that. First, Adrien made it clear that he sees Marinette purely in a romantic light, not just as a acquaintance. Second, even if it was meant to be platonic, he didn't do it with Alya or Nino. Finally, if Marinette didn't want to be kissed the first time, that should have been it.

I don't care how socially stunted Adrien is, or how much everyone in the entire world ships Adrientte, if you see someone looking like this when someone is trying to kiss them:

DON'T SMILE, AND MAKE THAT PERSON RESPECT HER PERSONAL SPACE!

It's just such a terrible joke to make, and it this is coming from the season that tries to tackle serious issues like mental health and child abuse. How this episode didn't run into controversy like “Ephemeral” did, I'll never know. Just not a good episode, yet somehow, this still made the top ten.

#8: Perfection

This is an episode that had a decent Akuma, a pretty wholesome resolution, and... uh... Yeah, that's about it.

Of all the Kagami-centric episodes the show has ever done, this is the one that really shows us how she thinks. Because of the high standards her mother places on her, she believes that she can't have friends, and she has only herself to rely on. I like how rather than just default to her being constantly angry while akumatized, she's much more depressed, and most of the damage she causes is unintentional. Granted, I don't get how Monarch thought a giant cloud monster who can't see a thing will be able to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous, but I still like how Ryukomori is presented.

On the other hand, despite being a Kagami focused episode, the writers somehow forgot what Kagami was like. She's usually a no-nonsense person who can see through lies and deception with ease, like what happened when she dumped Adrien in “Lies”. Here, she takes things so literally thanks to Lila's “friendship test”, I'm pretty sure Amelia Bedelia would tell her stop taking things so literally. The fact that this isn't just a one-off occurrence doesn't help at all.

If there's anything I could take away from rewatching this episode, it's that I finally understand the problem with this show's humor. The cow bit made me realize just how often this show will drag out its jokes to pad out the runtime, and the cow joke is a perfect example. It's mentioned a total of five times during the first half of the episode. It would have been just an unfunny joke if it was just a one-time thing, but the writers will take a joke and repeat it multiple times until it becomes incredibly annoying. It's like if Patrick kept asking Squidward if mayonnaise was an instrument in that one SpongeBob episode. The joke stops being funny if you keep reusing it over and over again in such a short timeframe.

The song Adrien sung before the Akuma was also incredibly forgettable and comes out of nowhere. I don't even get why they had him do this when Luka is usually characterized as the musician. Even Marinette is surprised Adrien can suddenly sing. Besides, I think we can all agree on what the perfect love song that would sweep Marinette off her feet is.

But yeah, for an episode titled “Perfection”, it's anything but.

#9: Protection

Again, I didn't intend for the direct follow-up to “Perfection” to be ranked right below it. I also want to clear up any confusion people have with this one, since Season 5's episode titles have been hard to memorize for some people. “Perfection” was an episode where Kagami got akumatized thanks to Lila's lies, only for Ladybug to peacefully resolve the conflict thanks to the power of friendship. “Protection” was an episode where Kagami got akumatized thanks to Lila's lies, only for Ladybug to treat her like any other Akuma because the power of friendship was meaningless. I hope I made things easier for you.

This is such a nothing episode. Pretty much everything that happens here is either reused from previous episodes or will continue to be used for the rest of the season. Gabriel tries to break up Adrienette, Lila is a liar, and Kagami is an idiot. There's just nothing to talk about here. The only thing that really stands out for me is the brief moments Marinette and Adrien shared as a couple. They're cute and have believable chemistry, but they're so few and far between. Nothing is accomplished in this episode, and even the stuff with Kagami and Lila is pretty much dropped after this.

Even the Akuma was forgettable. It's just Riposte with a meat cleaver and a diet version of Penalteam's powers. It lacks the emotional weight the resolution with Ryukomori had. It feels like these episodes were meant to be the same one, but were split up to fill the 26 episode count. Overall, just a boring episode, yet still one of the season's better outings if you can believe it.

#10: Jubilation

Yes, this is the one that made the top ten. I'm just as surprised as you are.

Putting aside the dream scene, the episode had some decent ideas, like Marinette struggling to deal with the stress that comes with being Ladybug, and other ways Gabriel can use the Alliance rings to his advantage. Even Cat Noir's emotional reaction to having to leave the dream was decently executed, even if there was no buildup to it. This is the kind of stuff I think we should have gotten more of this season, more character focus and Gabriel actually being a competent villain.

With that being said, there's still a lot of problems here. Socqueline comes out of nowhere, Mr. Damocles' portrayal here doesn't match up with how he is in other episodes this season (much less “Derision”, Socqueline's only other episode), and the dream sequence was creepy as all hell because the animators didn't have enough money to design older models for Ladybug and Cat Noir so they wouldn't be teen parents.

Just an average episode with a few memorable parts, for better or for worse.

#11: Reunion

Riddle me this, my dear readers: How do you write an episode where you want to utilize a fictional version of Joan of Arc, but can't include the visions from God or how she was burned at the stake, the two most well-known things about her? The answer? Turn her into a generic knight who speaks broken English even though she's supposed to be French, duh!

I don't know how you manage to take a concept like Joan of Arc being a former superhero and screw it up this much. She's pretty much only there to bitch and moan at Marinette, essentially body shames Adrien, and only becomes relevant because the Akuma of the week happened to be asking questions about history.

There really could have been done more with the Reunion concept, but this is the only time this season where it's used, and I'm sure it has nothing to do that Joan of Arc's model was used in “Ephemeral”. But when has the show ever come up with excuses to reuse older models this season? I mean, besides young Master Fu in “Evolution”, the other temp heroes in “Determination”, Mister Bug and Lady Noire in “Passion”, and Scarabella in “Revelation” that is.

This episode also tries to tackle conspiracy theorists with Jalil, but it fails because you understand where he's coming from. He is literally the only character in the entire show to think, “Hey, isn't it kind of fucked up that my little sister was forced to become a guardian of time before she graduated middle school while not even getting to say goodbye to me, her only brother?” Yes, the moral isn't a bad one, but Jalil isn't wrong to be paranoid about Ladybug given how she evidently never talked to him about this, much less give Bunnix the chance to say goodbye herself.

The Akuma also really made no sense for Jalil. If he's supposed to be seeking the truth, why is he asking random historical trivia questions? How does knowing the year Sputnik was launched into space relevant to finding out if Ladybug is honest or not? It's almost like the writers have already created multiple Akumas with powers connected to honesty, so this is an overused idea (Oni-Chan, Truth, Lies).

It's just a very forgettable episode, much like how much the writers just forgot the Reunion idea for the rest of the season. Seriously, did anyone remember Plagg gave Adrien a Kwagatama at the end of this one?

#12: Passion

In my opinion, this was the episode that set up two of the biggest problems with Season 5: Extremely contrived Love Square drama and Nathalie's incompetence preventing her from ending the conflict then and there.

While I'm glad we're finally getting a Nathalie focused episode, the issue I have with it is just how the writers are clearly trying to portray her with Adrien's best interests in mind, she still doesn't do anything to actually stop Gabriel other than complaining about how evil Gabriel is while still going along with his plans. She willingly accepts an Akuma from the same man she's claims she's protecting Adrien from and still follows his plans for absolutely no reason. Why Gabriel still keeps her around, much less trusts her with an Akuma, is beyond me.

Rewatching this episode made me realize just how pointless Nathalie is this season. It feels like the writers needed to have Nathalie oppose Gabriel but didn't know how to do that without having her rat him out to Ladybug and Cat Noir. All they really had to do was have her fall into the same coma Emilie is in, and it would not only take her out of the picture. That way, it would remove any concern that Nathalie could expose Gabriel and it would better justify Tomoe's inclusion this season. Instead, a good chunk of this episode is Nathalie and Gabriel making it clear that they hate each other while still choosing to work together for no reason.

The actual backstory for Nathalie was okay. I like how she's more than just some secretary who was informed of the Miraculous and later teamed up with Gabriel, instead being a treasure hunter who specializes in locating magical artifacts like the Miraculous. It's a clever bit of character development and I like how it ties into her Akuma form for the episode. Of course, it's somewhat ruined by the fact that we still don't know why Gabriel and Emilie wanted to find the Miraculous in the first place, not even after five seasons.

Putting aside Nathalie generally being an idiot, the rest of the episode was pretty mediocre. It's more Love Square drama, with Marinette's concerns about how her feelings for Adrien led to Monarch getting fifteen Miraculous being brushed aside as her denying how she really feels. Only now, the episode is going out of its way to make it seem like all Marinette can do is all but lust over whoever she's in love with, in this case, Cat Noir/Mister Bug. Because actually acknowledging character flaws and how they affect the narrative while playing them for laughs is how Miraculous Ladybug rolls. Decades from now, episodes like this will be commonplace, I just know it.

The Akuma fight was also pretty lackluster. I don't get why Safari's arrows only targeted Ladybug and Cat Noir, and only Ladybug and Cat Noir while they were transformed instead of, you know, targeting their Miraculous. It just felt like a cheap excuse to get some more mileage out of the Mister Bug and Lady Noire models. Well, that, and more of Lady Noire prioritizing her romantic feelings over the mission at hand.

While I can appreciate the attempt to flesh out Nathalie's character, it's not enough to salvage this episode.

#13: Deflagration

Before I start this section, can anyone tell me why the hell it's named a chemistry term of all things?

The wiki claims that it's referencing what Tikki and Plagg do in the episode, but I don't think that continuously creating and destroying stuff counts as deflagration. Then again, I'm some schmuck on the internet, not a chemist.

Anyway, this episode is clearly trying to come across as an event, but nothing is really accomplished here. Marinette and Adrien already got together in the last episode, the Akuma didn't do anything to advance Monarch's plan, Zoe's character development as Kitty Noire is nonexistent, Alya being exposed for the third time ends up being pointless since Scarabella appears in “Revelation” a few episodes later, and no progress is made in stopping Monarch. It's just one big fight scene that lacks real tension because Monarch is reduced to a joke in this episode.

Monarch is seriously dogpiled by several middle school students, and the show still expects us to take him seriously as a villain. I can at least buy Sole Destroyer, given how Chloe is supposed to be seen as harmless sometimes, but the main villain getting beaten by kids with no superpowers? It just really breaks the suspension of disbelief. It'd be like if Kevin McCallister somehow defeated Godzilla with one of his traps. You're not impressed by Kevin taking him down, you're asking why Godzilla went down so easily.

This was the episode where the writers started making dumb blonde jokes by making it so Chloe doesn't understand the meaning of the word “Generous”, and it's just as unfunny as it sounds. Not only is this hypocritical because this “girl power” show is now using one of the most misogynistic writing tropes in history, it's the same episode with a title named after a chemical reaction that most children watching don't understand. Chloe didn't even serve a purpose this episode because nobody ever fought Sole Destroyer onscreen. It's just another “Ha! She's blonde and rich, so that means she's dumb!” joke... which came before a certain episode that showed her as being capable of pulling off several complex schemes to torment Marinette.

I also love how despite making a big deal about them being worthy to be Ladybug and Cat Noir's replacements last episode, Alya and Zoe are taken out of commission before the action even starts. I feel like the episode could have at least been elevated if Alya and Zoe at least tried to help. It would have better justified them temporarily replacing Ladybug and Cat Noir instead of the cheap ratings grab it was.

But yeah, it's a pretty dull episode, and the only reason why I don't have more to say is because the first part has more glaring issues in my eyes.

Part 2

[bluarlequinno]

I'm going mad actually

Born from twitter discourse, here’s my analysis on the fandom’s interpretation of Heathmael, one because it's all over my feed which ... Ugh, but secondly, the fact that none of the sides state all things clearly and it just ends up being a bunch of misconception regarding the ship.

Let it be said that, in all honesty, I find this drama really annoying because I genuinely do dislike the ship overall in retrospect, buuuut to contextualize, this was all born from the post "ship so ass you have to mischaracterize the characters for it to work" and somebody mentioned Heathmael. And obviously a lot of people found that baffling, but is it true?

I feel it's a big... depends, because when they are shipped the overwhelming majority of people who ship them mischaracterize them to the point where it's very obvious that they don't ship them because they find their narrative foil appealing or that they comprehend why their relationship (narratively speaking) works or why are they written the way they are. Or if they value Ishmael as a character more than they value eye candy and a male character they can insert onto.

Rather you will normally find the typical characterization of “haters to lovers” that pushes this tsundere agenda in Ishmael which forcefully feminizes her and characterizes Heathcliff as some type of bad boy which lmao wtf.

This ship is extremely debated, compared to other straight ships in the fandom, and even though it's objectively a decent straight ship narratively speaking, most of the people who ship it are well... I hope it comes through which specific people I'm talking about.

People who frame it as Ishmael finally puts down that "bitch" attitude to warm up to Heathcliff which is just... Not only extremely stupid, but is clearly ooc for both Ishmael and Heathcliff, and Heathcliff can finally find an alternative of Catherine framing Ishmael as something Heathcliff gets.

They project their own desires on Heathcliff and treat Ishmael like the woman in the straight relationship that just ends up with this ass dynamic that enforces all that is wrong with traditional straight relationships which is a big disservice to what is actually going on with their relationship in canon.

Not only because it misses the point entirely and makes the environment around the ship extremely dislikeable and impossible for people to even like because of it, but also because it hurts to watch these two characters who individually are so much more and so deep and interesting be reduced to this dynamic that butchers them.

But in essence, their dynamic, if interpreted correctly and without any of the brain rot bullshit they are normally shipped on behalf of, is actually really really compelling, does it mean it's shippy? I feel that it just really... depends. I feel that I could only ship it if it's this very specific version I've analyzed in my head and that is not a traditional view on shipping, and is in a very thin line between platonic and leaning on angsty that overall is more a character analysis than actual shipping, but all in all not necessarily with them falling in love.

Which makes it really hard for me to enjoy it and I would need for them to be tackled with extreme sensibility and consideration of both of them to be able to work, but all in all I feel is both valid why people dislike it and even ones who say it is kinda bad, after all it is mostly filled with fics and fanart that clearly put in evidence just what kind of people who engage in their ship actually are which well makes some people who appreciate their characters not like it. If you ship them and aren't like this well (if the shoe doesn't fit… don't put that shoe on then).

But, I suppose it's also valid to ship them. I mean as much as I hate to admit it, it's not like there isn't anything between them in the game.

But I also feel however that even if you dislike it, it isn't really a bad ship, nor is it inconceivable, after all they are narrative foils and they end up a little better after because of each other.

However I wanna discuss that, it is important to note that a lot of the reasons I dislike the ship, is because of this inexistent triangle they do between Heathcliff, Catherine and Ishmael which is just... So petty and stupid.

To make Ishmael's and Heathcliff's relationship look better they frame Catherine and therefore her own relationship with Heathcliff in such a negative “she was toxic and abusive to Heathcliff” kinda light that just is stupid, because not only does it overly villainize Catherine while sanctifying Heathcliff when is clear both were the problem (in their relationship, not regarding the abuse Heathcliff's went through), but it also disregards Heathcliff's feelings and makes it seem as though Catherine didn't love Heathcliff which is objectively not true, both of them loved each other so much that they had no idea how to resolve it because of their upbringings, not to mention they were both literal teenagers living on a toxic household isolated and with clear ideologies that influenced them, but also Catherine lived with the guilt of Heathcliff's pain, the reason she even does what she does in Heathcliff's canto is because she feels that she cannot do anything else to make up for Heathcliff's suffering than to erase herself. Heathcliff and Catherine's souls are made from the same after all. Heathcliff loved Catherine and still as of now up to date on the story, is still in love with Catherine, his whole arc is that he now has the self confidence, self esteem and maturity to confront his feelings and his needs with Catherine without putting himself down. He is still looking for her to be able to "who guessed it" TALK. He is learning to express and find his own feelings as valid and as worth it as any other person, leaving behind his inferiority complex. Like how he admits out loud that he sees the sinners as family.

Heathcliff is more emotionally mature than people give him credit for, and he never hated Ishmael. Heathcliff hated himself and hated to see someone he saw himself reflected on sink down harder because he expected Ishmael to be better than him, and if Ishmael can't be, then what does that mean for himself?

He helps Ishmael because he is an emotionally empathic person who understands that Ishmael needed someone who would just listen, and it worked. He didn't save Ishmael nor did he become the reason Ishmael outgrew her own trauma.

If there's anything I learned from Revolutionary girl utena is that you cannot save anybody all you can do is lend a hand.

Heathcliff is a man who wears his heart and his intentions on his sleeve, now that his relationship with Ishmael is of a mutual understanding and appreciation he wouldn't be in denial if there were deeper feelings, but there aren't, he helps Ishmael just how he realizes when other of the sinners are having a bad time, or when he accommodates for others because he realizes what they are going through.

Look how in the new Canto Heathcliff is constantly speaking up on behalf of Don Quixote because he understands her and empathizes with her enough to be one to speak up when another sinner says something negative about her.

But back to the point , does this mean that I'm saying it can't mean it could be interpreted as shipping? I feel that is just whatever, obviously it can. I'm no authority, I just feel that it's not intrinsically romantic and is not fair for it to be pushed to be so.

But I feel it was really important for me to clarify because if there's anything that I dislike is putting two female characters against each other for a man especially Ishmael who I mean... Would definitely not fight for a man in the romantic sense. Let alone with another woman 🙄. She fights for things she thinks are worth her time, don't diss my girl like that, don't make this something it's not. Ishmael is not that type of girl.

But I think it is really important to acknowledge this because Heathcliff doesn't nor did he project Catherine on Ishmael, the narrative never parallels them and in Heathcliff's canto Ishmael never is framed to be in any way similar to Catherine, because it isn't there, because Heathcliff doesn't see Catherine in Ishmael because people often don't realize that Heathcliff wasn't like Ishmael, who as smart as she was, was an emotional wreck, Heathcliff was pretty aware of what he wanted to do arriving at Wuthering Heights, so for Heathcliff it's more a thing of, I don't want you if you aren't Catherine why you dare compare to her, nobody could be for me what she was. Heathcliff saw himself in Ishmael, which is very different.

And it is really important to acknowledge that because after his Canto Heathcliff still doesn't show nor say nor do anything to showcase that now his relationship with Ishmael is more meaningful that his with Catherine. Because those two relationships are different.

With this I'm not saying you can't ship them, just that you can't ignore Heathcliff's and Catherine's relationship and how It is actually framed as.

Because it isn't fair for Ishmael to be treated as the second option, it isn't fair that she's framed as what Heathcliff settles for because his relationship with Catherine didn't work and people really do frame it like that, but if you don't frame it like that than you have to acknowledge that Heathcliff wouldn't choose Ishmael over Catherine. At least not now, and Ishmael will not just jump into a relationship regardless, she spent years with Queequeg and it is something that for Ishmael just isn't easy.

But Ishmael isn't Heathcliff's anything, Ishmael canonly doesn't have any feelings for Heathcliff and if you are gonna ship them I think is important to at least acknowledge all of this so you don't end up doing that stupid thing of putting Ishmael as the other option of Heathcliff and therefore treating Ishmael as Heathcliff's instead of an individual character brought closer to another individual character.

I also believe that a reason why, at least for me personally, Heathmael conflicts me so much is because, since Heathcliff and Ishmael are hostile in the begging, and Ishmael is a female character, shipping her with Heathcliff is almost basically an indicator of people treating Ishmael pretty misogynistically and just kinda really UHM.. it's hard for me to explain it on fully, but it's just this vision of that stereotypical men and women bicker so it means they most like each other and that Ishmael should learn to like Heathcliff because she's just so uptight and hysterical which not even Heathcliff feels at all about Ishmael so it annoys me that a lot of male shippers project that on Heathcliff to build this very specific idea of Ishmael that is so far from the truth and pains me to see given how much I love Ishmael. It's pretty ironic given how literally her whole anger in part is that nobody takes her anger seriously and her worries seriously because she's too paranoid and yeah...

Does this make sense? I hope so

Now I do wanna tackle the elephant in the room, because I feel it is also a bias I have and I think talking about it could open to more fans discussing it, but... I feel like the simple fact that it is a straight ship does make people hate it, I wouldn't say I hate Heathmael, but I do admit that the fact it's straight does kinda not make me like it as much as I would if it was sapphic, but in my defense I feel at least personally that it's more to do with my relationship with Ishmael's character than the fact it's straight in general, because as far as straight ships go, Rodion x Gregor is absolutely adorable, Meursault x Donqui can be cute and I do admit that Faust x Yi Sang has its charm, but I feel that Ishmael reads as a lesbian to a lot of the fans and tbh I feel like the lenses and proofs on the game aren't like invisible and that her relationship with Queequeg and what it means for Ishmael is too important as well.

I know bisexuality is also a thing obviously, but I feel with Ishmael specifically there is something about her and being a lesbian that there isn't in any other of the females sinners, I'm being genuine I think Ishmael is probably the only sinner I fully see as a lesbian (well maybe Outis too) and it is something that resonates with my reading of her character too much to fully be able to enjoy Heathmael, at least in the "they actually fall in love kind of way".

Honestly I feel this might sprout some controversy, but I feel like I wanted to say something about them, specifically because Ishmael and Heathcliff individually to me are extremely good characters and the discourse is annoying, but also because I feel things are never fully stated ever and it leaves me feelings unsatisfied. I have been pondering about it for a long while.

Also I feel I should also talk more about Ishmael's side in this story, but ironically speaking Heathmael is harder for me to read because of Heathcliff and his misinterpretation, both of him and his relationship with Catherine overall.

Ishmael also to a certain extent, I feel people don't understand her a lot, or they purposefully ignore canon portrayal because she's a female character and is more exposed to THAT kind of treatment by fandom (at least that very specific side of people). But I think for Ishmael I'd just make a whole separate analysis post.

[latias-eevee-hatori]

Me: *heads to refill waterbottle and detours to bathroom* Okay, game plan, I'll try to see if the DLC will download now and scan as many old sketches as I can while waiting. I should grab the shower doodles while I'm at it...

*while peeling the ones in the shower remembers ones stuffed into bathroom drawer*

These are so. old. why are there so many. Probably Pre-Time Period PLA took over my life, certainly pre-Owl House, F--K I've hardly touched these let alone sorted.

*looks at bookshelf and only sees one of the little booklets I bought it hold the shower sketches*

...Did I ever even FIND that one. ((O_O)) *It's been months I completely forgot about getting a new one or two*

*Has not even attempted to look for the stack(s) of loose sketches I know are there*

...I forgot my water bottle.

((O_O))

...I have so many things I need/want to do!

*Notification on my phone: Pokemon DLC Update @7?*

**Has not finished the Post Game Gym Leader Challenge or Teal Mask.**

Oh No.

[cartoon-cass]

For the Tessa Solver AU:

I am VERY normal for this Au. I have so many questions like,

How did JCJenson react when they finally saw Cyn and realized how similar she looked to the Elliott's Heir?

How would Nori, Yeva and the other Solver Hosts react to seeing how far humanity is willing to go to wield the Solver's power.

Does Tessa begin to look more and more like a Drone or does the Solver powers preserve her flesh and organs like Cyn seemed to do in Cannon.

Does Cyn know that Tessa was taken off-world. Can she sense she's alive but not exactly where? Could that be a reason for her allowing the Solver to absolutely destroy Earth when she finds out Tessa isn't there anymore, why she lets it send out Disassembler Drones to the colonies hoping one of them would come back with news of Tessa

I NEED ANSWERS jk take your time mate, I absolutely LOVE this AU

I’m so glad people like my Au

So for the first question I’m still debating how JCJenson got there hands on the Absolute Solver virus, as canon doesn’t really give us an answer. I’ve decided that they extract it from Cyn after the massacre then tries to disassemble her and the other manner drones but as we know that fail. Anyway back on track they’ve seen both Tessa and Cyn and they did notice that they had the same hair style, the scientists don’t think much of it as they know Tessa “played dress up” with her drones and mostly thinks she’s a bit weird for getting so attached to her drones.

At first the other Solver hosts don’t really like Tessa, nothing to do with her personally, they just don’t like humans, for obvious reasons. As they get to know Tessa they grow increasingly disturbed by how far they’re willing to go in the name of science. I should note that the scientists did start off treating Tessa better then the other test subjects but slowly treat her worse and worse, due to a combination of desensitization and Tessa’s growing hostility towards the scientists. I haven’t finalized exactly how I want the core collapse to happen but the scientists cruelty is definitely going to be a turning point.

Tessa will mostly stay the same the only thing I’ve planned for so far is that her iris gets bigger so I have a bigger canvas to work with. I just realized while writing this I never showed how her eyes look.

The yellow glow stays in her iris. When she’s not using anything her eyes are normal but she can basically call up an HUD similar to the drones, that’s the design with normal drone ovals, she uses it more later in the story, the humans treat her horribly anyway might as well have useful info on hand or even pull up a game to play while she’s locked up. The solver symbol shows up same as it does for other solver drones. You can see why her iris being bigger would help but I thought it be weird for her to have them before the start of the story so I just chalk it up to the Absolute Solver changing her looks. I also wanted a unique design as Cynessa/Flesha is just a drone screen with human skin over it and that wouldn’t really work with this AU as she’s still human.

Oh Cyn knows Tessa is being treated horribly and she hates it, she’s aware she’s on copper 9 and in a place called Cabin Fever but not exact location. Cyn definitely wouldn’t have let the Solver destroy earth if Tessa was still on it, as for later in the story, I don’t want to spoil to much but let’s just say the relationship between Cyn and the Solver does not stay the same as in this post.

Please ask more questions if you want, I love rambling about my Au

[itspronouncedtessa]

The "English or continental" debate is problematic and ultimately detrimental to the community.

Every time I see one of these "are you one or the other" posts, polls, tweets (Xcreets?), blogs, vlogs, whatevers, I get so annoyed. Undies fully twisted.

So indulge me and let's get into this.

First things first:

This is not an attack on pickers or throwers specifically. Any knitting style is valid. If the end result is even, non-twisted stitches that you enjoyed putting together, you're doing it right.

That said, I have 3 major gripes with the concept of "English vs continental" knitting:

1. The terminology. The terms "English" and "continental" were coined during WWII, as continental is actually German and the English were (rightly, at the time) uncomfortable doing anything the German way, or admitting that that way could be more efficient.

As we're about 80 years removed from the war, it might be time to accept that neither is objectively better and that German isn't a dirty word. We can, and should, use English and German, or throwing and picking respectively.

2. It's exclusionary to new knitters. The whole picking vs throwing discussion has made it so that new knitters don't know there are other options. If you're new to knitting, you get the impression that these are the only two options and if you can't do either, you can't knit.

Not to mention that the overwhelming majority of patterns and instructional videos are written or made exclusively for English or German methods. Which means if you want or need to use a different style, you need the additional step and skill of translating the pattern to fit your method. This requires a certain level of understanding of the underlying techniques that new knitters don't have. (Which is why I prefer charts, but that's a whole different rant.)

3. It's exclusionary to experienced knitters who don't pick or throw. The term continental for specifically German knitting dismisses all the other non-German European styles.

An incomplete list:

Eastern, or Russian, where you purl clockwise instead of counterclockwise, mounting the stitch backwards and knitting through the back loop on the right side. Creates the same stitch, but can be so much smoother to execute. Also very useful if you're doing rows of YO, ssk, as it eliminates the need to reorient the stitches before knitting them together.

Norwegian, where you purl without the need to bring the yarn fully forward. This is hard to describe in words, so I highly recommend googling for a video on Norwegian purls. It's a game changer for rib or seed stitch.

Portuguese, where you tension the yarn at the front of the work, looping it over your neck or through a pin. My personal preferred main method. Super helpful for those of us who lack finger strength to comfortably tension at the back. Makes purling a breeze.

Irish or lever knitting. Done with straight needles and (mostly) one-handed. Extremely helpful for people with disabilities. Also one of the fastest methods. You should check out videos on this, the speed is magical.

Flicking (not exactly regional), which is right handed but instead of throwing, you move the right needle to grab the yarn. Also difficult to explain, so check out some videos on this, too. Its a very quick method with minimal wrist movement. If you have the finger strength for tensioning it's worth practicing this, as it's so quick.

All of these are valid techniques, most of them are from continental Europe, none of them are included in the question "English or continental?".

And all of the above doesn't even get into the non-western, non-English, non-European styles there must be around the world, that I can't find through Google, because the English speaking world only uses the above mentioned methods.

Also, knitters that use other methods than picking or throwing are wildly underrepresented in the community, giving the knitting scene a culturally very white, western European image. Knitting could be a far more inclusive hobby if we'd embrace all styles.

In short, we need to change the question to "tell me about your technique" and learn from each other. Combining multiple methods (I use 3 or 4 interchangeably, depending on the pattern) can increase efficiency and enjoyment. And if you're struggling in any way, there might be a technique out there that better suits your needs. Asking about English vs continental isn't going to provide that information.

So tell me about your technique, especially if you use or know of any knitting methods that aren't western or European, I would LOVE to hear about that. Let's share and celebrate all the ways we knit.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

On Renesmee’s stunted growth and the Cullen’s wondering whether it’s about the diet, curious as to how each Cullen views the situation. Is there anyone advocating for her to try human blood?

The post anon's referencing.

Oh boy, and yes, I imagine it's a matter of hot debate (which is why I cut the post off short before we could get into it.

Alice

Alice doesn't really care but mostly she's miffed that she can't see what will happen either way. Everyone's bickering and Alice feels pressure on her to predict her way out when she's 0 help here. She can't see if Renesmee will eventually die, if she's just stuck like this, if she'll grow older eventually, nothing.

She can't even predict which decision will make the family happiest. I imagine she votes animal blood because it's the most likely thing to keep the Cullens intact. The human diet just isn't sustainable even for one person and the Cullens would have to split in half over it.

Alice is against family splitting in half.

Bella

Get her the blood.

They can use blood donations again! Just because Renesmee needs blood doesn't mean she has to become a murderer/not be a Cullen anymore. And more importantly, how can they sacrifice Renesmee's health for an esoteric belief? It's one thing for the rest of them, where the only consequence is being a little weaker, Renesmee might die/is stuck like this.

If they don't want to steal from hospitals, fine, they can set up a fake blood drive/charity with Alice's money. They'll get humans to donate right there in a truck and then Renesmee can eat it fresh.

Bella fails to see why this is even a matter of debate and judges the Cullens strongly for talking about this at all.

Carlisle

As in most things canonically, Carlisle is team "you decide but there will be consequences". He likely lays out that yes, this may have stunted Renesmee's growth, she may even die young because of this, however it's her choice to make if she's willing to live with this for the sake of not eating people.

Most importantly, if she eats people, she can't stay. Eating blood donations is not sustainable at all and even if it was would be noticed. People would still die if those are stolen frequently enough to feed Renesmee. She would have to eat people, actual people, which means she can't stay.

Naturally, this ultimatum throws the family into chaos, and everyone's very upset by it, but them's the breaks.

Edward

Edward's torn. On the one hand, this is not good for Renesmee's health and growth, but on the other hand he can't support not being on the diet even for his daughter. More, if it comes to leaving the family... he can't leave the family.

As Bella's looking increasingly like she'll abscond with Renesmee to feed her people out of spite Edward finds himself more and more stressed as he has to choose between his beloved family and his other beloved family.

Edward tries to play both sides, this goes poorly.

Emmett

As always, Emmett's staying out of this one/taking whichever side Rosalie's taking. Privately, he thinks they should probably just feed the girl blood. Maybe send her to the Irish or something to look after and the family can visit from time to time. She'd be happy there.

Esme

Esme's siding with Bella. She doesn't see why they should be harming the family, doing this horrible thing to this girl, when there are solutions. They can make this work, they always do, and they can't kick Renesmee out for something that's not her fault.

Jasper

Jasper's also staying out of this one but also doesn't really have an opinion/is a bit torn. On the one hand, yeah, this might kill Renesmee. But on the other hand, sometimes life is miserable and you're born a vampire and it's better to die young and in pain than live the life of a murderer.

I imagine him feeling this is a choice Renesmee has to make for herself.

Renesmee

Renesmee doesn't know what's even happening. She's that dog in space.

I imagine she voices she'd rather stay on the diet, as then this argument can be avoided, and she doesn't become the family freak and the one who couldn't hack it.

No one listens to her.

Rosalie

Oh Hell no.

Renesmee's getting the blood. People die all the time, it happens, and there are lots of people who deserve to die for that matter. Are they going to watch Renesmee waste away, for something she can't help, just so they can feel morally superior?

(Yes, this is at odds with Rosalie's firm conviction to remain on the diet and judgement of those who cannot, but I imagine as with other canon events this would skew Rosalie's priorities a bit.)

[gamesception]

Sception Reads Cass Cain #32

Batgirl (2000) #14 writer: Puckett pencils: Scott

Different inker this time, John Lowe instead of Campanella. I'm not enough of a connoisseur of comic art to really notice the difference. Honestly, I've been favoring pencil art in this series in general and not really mentioning inker & colorist. Should I be crediting/calling those out specifically? Let me know.

Anyway, we're back to the main series. Last time Cass was riding high after saving a repentant assassin from government agents. It fit more or less right in with the sort of one shot story we've seen a few times in her series, so there really wasn't a reason to expect any follow up from it, though the tone was a notable break from the usual Batgirl benchmark somewhere between sombre and miserable. This time is a return to form.

Before we get into the issue, that note about the tone does tie into that DCWomenKickingAss post that's been making the rounds again recently (link), the one with the interview with Scott Peterson where he describes the original instructions he gave to Kelley Puckett for designing the new batgirl as:

“Hey, new Batgirl. Young–late teens, I think–and Asian. And cheerful and chipper and always up and good natured and she has a complete and total death wish.”

As much as the Cass we got ended up being my favorite comic character ever, it's unfortunate that the 'cheerful, chipper' aspect - which is definitely there in the character, I've talked in previous posts about how much she loves being Batgirl and how critical that is to her character and to the overall themes of the book - is rarely the dominant tone of her ongoing. The quote from Puckett above implies book that on the surface is bright and cheerful, with a subversive undercurrent that fades into the background only to rear up and slap you in the face unexpectedly, where as what we got is an unrelenting 'long darkness of the soul' situation, punctuated by brief flashes of light that more often than not turn out to be the headlights of an oncoming train.

Which brings us back to the current issue.

We start with some government suits watching video of Cass and debating whether she's a metahuman or not, before being surprised by the fact that they have no matching info for her. Still pretty fun and lighthearted, but it does establish the idea that these guys are going to be a problem.

we also re-do the goodbye scene from the end of last issue...

Only this this time Puckett adds this bit where the assassin realizes he'll never get to see his family again, dampening the mood, setting up for what happens to him later, but also putting this divide between himself and Cass. Last time this guy could be read as a sort of self-surrogate for her, someone parallel to her situation as a former assassin, and by saving him Cass was sort of getting the chance to save herself.

Here, though, the guy establishes himself, however briefly, as his own person, with a life and a family. All the things that Cass's unique history and circumstances have denied her.

Things that Barbara is extremely concerned that Cass may have permanently cut herself off from ever having in the future by letting herself be recorded by the government outside of costume.

Cass, of course, can't imagine a future for herself. Because she's going to die within the year when Shiva returns. And because she doesn't want to be anything other than Batgirl. But mostly because deep down she doesn't believe she deserves a life or a future, and doesn't want to think about why that is.

As it is, Cass doesn't think she has any connections, so isn't afraid of losing them.

Bab's dialog implies that she's going to go to Bruce about this thinking maybe he could get through to her, but Bruce, consciously or otherwise, has been actively isolating Cass, so can he really be counted on to prevent her from isolating herself even further?

There's this transition page where Cass wakes up to find Bruce instead of Oracle in the Tower. I don't talk about color much, but Jason Wright does a good job here, the colors not just conveying a transition to night but also the switch to a darker emotional and narrative tone, despite still being all smiles, not knowing what happened.

Just like John way back in issue two, we have another guy who Cass thought she had saved, and let herself feel happy about, only to find out that the villains had come back for them later. And once again it's a pretty gut wrenching twist.

Cass asks Bruce's permission to hurt these people, not just take them down and capture them, but to personally punish them, and he grants it, which is a pretty gross dynamic all round.

Remember this bit from issue 4, when Bruce is talking about how 'perfect' Batgirl was?

Better even than himself, not just as a matter of skill, but more importantly for how she was untainted by any excess cruelty. It's why he was so shocked to find out she might have killed someone, despite knowing Cain had trained her from birth to do just that. It wasn't something that the Cassandra the he knew was capable of. But a few short months working for Batman and...

This isn't 'gentle'. This isn't someone you'd be shocked to find out had killed someone.

Remember this bit from issue 4? Bruce all high and mighty about what David Cain did to Cass. But for all the painful and potentially lethal extremes of his training regimen, and for all the evil he intended her to do, David raised a girl who, once she understood what killing was, chose to abandon her life and her father - despite loving both - rather than kill again.

A few months exposure to Bruce is eroding away the humanity and compassion that compelled her to seek atonement in the first place.

Bruce, his methods, the way he treats his friends and family, he's actively making Cassandra worse.

On the way home Bruce says he's sorry, but it's about what happened to the assassin, he's not sorry for what he's doing to Cassandra himself, what he's taking from her. He's not even done taking things from her this issue, as he doesn't take her back to the clocktower.

Of course. Of course he's fine with throwing away even the possibility of a future independent of him and his mission. You can just imagine how the conversation with Babs went too, at first trying to appeal on Cass's behalf, Bruce just not getting it, switching to practical threats to the mission, how Cass's exposure potentially exposes Oracle, in the hope that he'll respond to that - only for Bruce to respond by taking Cass away entirely, severing the one lonely link to someone who at least tries to care about her as a person in her own right.

When Babs was trying to appeal to Cass earlier, she brushed her off, convinced that she didn't have anything to lose anyway. You can feel the realization dawning on her that yeah, she really did have something to lose.

And the issue ends with this panel that makes her tiny to emphasize how completely isolated she is now.

This issue is a major emotional low point in Cass's early series, maybe *the* major low point. Bruce at his worst, Cass at her most alone.

Things will slowly improve from here, though sadly never in quite the way they needed to, with a direct confrontation of Bruce himself.

[fyrefrostanimus]

Le Voices

I have been trying to figure out their designs for months and I think I've finally figured them out.

I really hope this is readable, but I will give little design notes on each of them.

When it came to The Voices overall, I knew I wanted to stick with a few conventions: something small that can stay out of the way of The Hero's view despite being able to see them (because why not? this is the fandom side and I'm not going to be a stickler for accuracy), mostly one color on each of them, and a white marking on some of them if there's something that fits. So little birds really did work. I chose to have some sort of not-black/white color on the, because sometimes The Voices can take control (such as how Voice of the Cheated does in Chapter III onward in The Razor, or Voice of the Smitten decides that if The Damsel isn't alive, no one should be) and it would be nice to have some way of telling just by looking even if you can't see it. So now onto the individuals!

These go from left to right, top row to bottom row.

Voice of the Hero

While I haven't posted my design for The Hero yet some things are settled like the way the feathers are set on the head/chest. The Voice of the Hero has the same features as The Hero and the same eye color since it's almost like his own conscious, but not quite. He's there all the time so it makes sense they have a common design element other than bird.

Voice of the Contrarian

While it's Voice of the Skeptic who actually says "wink" aloud, the actual facial expression definitely matches Voice of the Contrarian more. And a bright, maybe slightly obnoxious yellow is definitely what I think he'd be like.

Voice of the Stubborn

Voice of the Stubborn would not take care of his feathers. They're all roughed up from squabbles, although whether it was with The Princess or the other Voices is up for debate. He has a spur on each of his wings like a lapwing does, and red-orange eyes like his burning will to fight.

Voice of the Smitten

Of course Voice of the Smitten has pink eyes, what other color would have worked? His feathers are in much more rounded shapes than the other Voices. Voice of the Smitten has some markings around his chest area that end up in a heart shape, although they're more like stab wounds referencing how you get from Chapter I to The Damsel.

Voice of the Cold

Voice of the Cold was originally going to have a gray-blue as his eye color (that now belongs to Voice of the Paranoid). But man, seeing the way he's almost proud of the fact he killed someone in at least The Burned Gray just immediately made me decide he was going to have purple instead (I was not kidding when I said his behavior in that specific route reminded me of William Afton). The X marking is the same as The Spectre's.

Voice of the Opportunist

Before anyone asks, the cat ears are on purpose. Brown was chosen as it's a neutral tone: Voice of the Opportunist is almost always neutral before he sucks up to the person he believes has the most power. The markings on his wings resembling the pristine blade are physical representations of his willingness to backstab anyone as soon as he gets the advantage.

Voice of the Cheated

Not really sure I like the red eyes, but honestly The Razor is one of the bloodiest route in the game. And what color is blood? Red. Plus it's one of the two colors the symbols on playing cards can be, and since all the Voices are already completely black minus their markings and eye color, it just leaves red. The Voice of the Cheated has wings where the feathers almost look like they were cut short with a knife.

Voice of the Broken

Voice of the Hunted originally was going to have the broken wing, before I slapped myself after remembering VOICE OF THE BROKEN literally exists. While Voice of the Hero has neutral white eyes to match The Hero and Voice of the Opportunist has neutral brown eyes because he can't pick a side until he sees who has power, Voice of the Broken has gray eyes because whatever color was there was beaten out of him just like his wing was broken.

Voice of the Hunted

Green eyes because nature, let's get that out of the way. Voice of the Hunted's feathers are shorter, and almost more natural-looking. He's prey, and the bite mark on his neck isn't going to let anyone forget that.

Voice of the Skeptic

I didn't know why I gave Voice of the Skeptic blue eyes at first, but he keeps a really cool head even when under pressure. And blue is a cool color. It's just brighter to contrast with Voice of the Paranoid. Voice of the Skeptic has a constant raised eyebrow expression.

Voice of the Paranoid

There wasn't much to Voice of the Paranoid when I first sketched him, but the frazzled-looking feathers stuck. He doesn't need a marking when he constantly looks spooked.

[bookbitchx]

Blog Introduction.

Marhaba, Salut, Hello.

My blog is mostly centered around the Maasverse.

I don't claim to know what it's like or what it takes to write a successful series, let alone multiple, and I never will.

These are my opinions, mostly based on the ACOTAR series, soon enough TOG (a much needed reread before I can give my solid opinion) and CC (whenever I get to actually reading it.)

Heavily centered tags: Anti Rhysand, Anti Feyre, Anti Feysand, Anti IC, Anti Nessian, Anti Cassian, Anti Amren, Anti Mor.

Pro Lucien, Pro Eris, Pro Tamlin, Pro Nesta, Pro Gwyn, Pro Emerie, Pro Tarquin, Pro Helion, Pro Thesan.

Neutral: Azriel, Elain, Vassa, Jurian, Kallias, Viviane, literally anyone else left.

▪︎Anti Rhysand: I can't stand the guy. Plain and simple.

▪︎Anti Feyre: I liked her in the first book, even a few chapters into AF, where that Feyre went, I'll never know.

▪︎Anti Feysand: The most obnoxious rulers in all of Prythian. It would've been fine if they had anything to back it up with, but they don't.

▪︎Anti IC: This one is obvious. They're more like an inbred cult than a found family.

▪︎Anti Nessian: I deluded myself that the bond is Made, and I stand by that.

▪︎Anti Cassian: He's the worst mate ever written by SJM, and that's saying something since she wrote Rhysand.

▪︎Anti Amren: I could tolerate her in AF, but she's completely unnecessary after WAR.

▪︎Anti Mor: Could've been a great character, failed her miserably in whatever it is she is now.

▪︎Pro Lucien: Why wouldn't I be? Easily the best written character in the series.

▪︎Pro Eris: Everything is not as it seems. Maybe I'll eat my words later on, maybe I won't. We'll see.

▪︎Pro Tamlin: This is a tricky one. I don't condone/encourage/find what he did okay pre-petty Feyre revenge. However, he's more than made up and paid for it.

▪︎Pro Nesta: I also don't condone her actions in the first few chapters of TAR, some of SF, but again, she's more than made up for it.

▪︎Pro Gwyn, Emerie, Tarquin, Helion, Thesan: Obvious reasons.

▪︎Azriel: He's there, I guess. I'm disappointed with the way he was written, but yk. Waiting for his book to make up my mind.

▪︎Elain: She's also there. Idk. From what I did see of her in the books, she's alright. Hated her for not standing up for Nesta, but I'm over it.

▪︎Kallias and Viviane: I loved their story, at least the bits that we saw. However, I'll forever judge them for not hounding Rhysand about the 'other' Daemati's name. I'll keep believing he did it until anon Daemati's head is brought and shown.

▪︎Vassa, Jurian: Gave Lucien a place in the band of Exiles. Nothing more needs to be said.

I'm team Elucien all the way.

Iffy about if Gwynriel will happen, but I would love to see them together.

If these are not your things, it's totally your choice. Feel free to leave, or if you want to debate, I'm all for it as long as neither if us try to convince the other of something and try to shove it down the other's throat.

I do post other things, or I'm going to, mostly book reviews based on these genres: Romantasy, Fantasy, Mystery, YA, Dark Romance.

Also, English isn't my first or second language. If I make grammar/vocabulary mistakes, this is my sorry in advance.

Okay, I think that's it.

Byeeee.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Gah, I can't stop thinking about Hidden Agenda. It's not even my top show on right now, but I think because I spent a number of years training people in communication and conflict, there's just a lot here that is hitting my radar.

I've seen a few takes online about the show being a mess, and how we already know the entire "hidden agenda" due to bad writing, blah, blah, blah. There are also a lot of people talking about how romantic they think the final scene is. And I will never tell anyone their take is wrong, but I want to explain why I feel like there's a lot more than what people are seeing, on both sides. (And credit to both @respectthepetty and @slayerkitty for picking up on the same vibes I am).

Alright, so I'm going to dive in a bit more to this idea of how love is not enough without understanding, and how I'm seeing it expressed in the show.

First thing - for a while now I've been wondering why the debate club was factor in the show. But they just spelled it out for us, and it fits with what I said in my first post about needing to be able to understand someone else's perspective, even if you don't agree with it.

See, at this stage of their relationship, I think Joke & Zo do love each other. But they don't understand each other. Debate-wise - they're on opposite sides.

Jeng and Pok on the other hand - despite getting short shrift on scene time, have reached understanding. (And I'm not a lighting expert, but I read their reaching understanding as being reinforced by the brightness of their room - followed by them literally going out into the light).

But with Joke & Zo we have some big issues still. And I'm mostly putting this on Joke at this point. I am not a savvy color person, but look at his environment when he's confessing. That is one drab-ass green. This is not a pretty shot (except for Joong of course, the man is always fucking gorgeous). There's darkness in this green.

And even once Zo forgives him, it's all artificial light, surrounded by darkness (and storminess).

I'm giving Zo more credit here, because although Zo started out as a lot more withdrawn, as their relationship has progressed, he has opened up a lot more with Joke. He was able to articulate exactly why he was upset and hurt. He is trying to explain his perspective to Joke. But Joke isn't doing the work to understand it. As I said in my earlier post, he feels justified. As long as he doesn't see any potential problem with his own behavior, he's not going to understand Zo's point of view.

And on the opposite side, I also think that Zo doesn't understand Joke. But I'm also putting this on Joke - because HE IS STILL HIDING SOMETHING. I don't know if this is more "the end justifies the means" behavior, or if he's so focused on being the perfect boyfriend that he's scared to let that mask slip. But there is still something more than just collaborating with Pat. He's not giving Zo the opportunity to see the real him.

Where does this clinginess and desperation around love come from?

Why was he initially so hostile when Zo approached him freshman year?

If he already started falling for Zo at that point, what were they fighting about with the freshy contest?

Joke and Zo cannot be together long term yet, because Joke cares more about love than understanding. Which is not enough. It's NEVER going to be enough. And Zo is going to have to hold him accountable for that.

If you've read this whole thing, you are a trooper and I love you.

[animarret]

Ranting about aroace exclusionists a bit: tl:dr my issue is not even the exclusion at this point, it's the lack of respect for ace and/or aro experiences and identity.

Saw one of those whole "should aces belong in queer spaces" debates making the rounds and it got me thinking about some exclu points like. Notably one I kept seeing was along the lines of not feeling safe in queer spaces with "straight" people and like. Okay. We have different ideas of queerness but I sympathize with the sentiment even if I disagree. But it got me thinking about how, if a space is mostly exclusionist towards aces and aros... why would we (aces and/or aros) be there anyway?

Like, I as a queer person (nonbinary and romantically ??? Something not straight) and also as an ace, I know I wouldn't be comfortable in a space like that, even if my more acceptably queer identities were fine there. Because in my experience exclus, kind or not, aren't understanding enough of ace experiences to where I could see that part of me being accepted enough to be open about it.

If any exclus read this for whatever reason: are you as normal about aces and aros as you think? Do you *actually listen* to us? Bc most I've encountered 1) don't have pretty basic definitions of identities on those spectrums correct (aromantic is never mentioned? Gray or demi labels? Hell half the time the definition of ace is wrong), and by extension downplay and dismiss ace and aro experiences. Not even just about like, people being bullied or the more oppressive experiences like that. But like, do you realize that being ace and/or aro can just affect everyday shit?? Shows and movies I like and why are affected by this. The way I practice my religion is affected by my aceness. It is, in fact, an important part of me that is reflected in everything I do. And AVEN is a website, guys. Cmon.

My point is, why would I waste time in a space where the people (no matter how many times you say "aces are valid!!! Just not lgbt") consistently show a complete lack of care or willingness to actually learn about or understand mine and other's experiences? Why would I feel comfortable or safe, even, being in a group that not only doesn't understand asexuality, but isn't willing to try (as friends, comrades, community, etc) to understand me, as an asexual person?

I'm not invading exclu lgbt spaces because I have better friends and allies than that. I have better places to be.

And if you're exclusionist and me asking/saying these things bothers you, maybe make a better effort to be allies to aces and aros. Because for all your talk about us and your valid posts I don't see you making an effort for us. Do better!! Prove me wrong!! Make me eat my angry words!! Want us out? Support ace and aro spaces then! Get our fucking words right! Listen to us!

[minggukieology]

Happy FACE era and happy Jikook days to all!

I promise I'll write a few in depth reflections on the latest Jikook interactions and also will address 편지 in another post but I just wanted to get a few things off my chest so I wanted to post this first. (Sorry, this post will mostly include my reflections and no profound analysis so if you're not interested in my ramblings, you can skip this one)

*inserts these pics to catch your attention lol*

I guess I'll start off by this: I did make the conscious decision to lay off the petiness a few months ago though I can't help but think these few days (even weeks) happened for the sake of all the hateful trolls who have been making rounds even on here revelling in the fact both Jimin and Jungkook were mostly off-grid and Kook spotted having a social life, which somehow automatically discounted any possibility of him keeping in touch with/seeing anyone else for some reason.... but anyways... for the sake of keeping my karma clean let's move on.

Being an ARMY with a special fondness for 3J and Jikook I have to say my life is pretty easy, I just lay back and enjoy as their appearances happen and let things unfold without having to get angry or hateful. Mostly because my love for them doesn't hinge upon a never-ending need for validation for what has been a constant for the past 10+ years. And I hope by communicating and trying to explain more closely to you how especially Jimin and Jungkook interact, trying to help you bridge the language gap, I really hope you feel this sense of calmness as well. There is never anything to question, to fuss or argue about. (Not to stray too much off topic, but rest assured I deeply value and appreciate each and one of your replies and messages, despite the fact I am notoriously bad at replying to them 🫣)

Watching Jimin and Jungkook interact always feels like home, like you have been granted an insight into a familiar scene, with people that are so close they can't help but joke around or poke at each other yet at the same time can't hold back on their appreciation and softness for each other. (If you need a visual representation just take any moment Jimin talks about/with Jungkook and automatically gets all giggly and soft and Jungkook's last live where you could see the little goofball laughing at ex. the teasing scenes but at the same time couldn't hold back his starry eyed expression 🥹)

I have to admit though, I myself got proven wrong when I confidently posted about how they are both missing ARMY based on the Weverse interactions and then proceeded watching Jungkook turn on a live barely interacting with the comments (even remarking on the fact he isn't checking them yet people keep writing lol) just to watch over 1hr of Jimin content and admit to have been staying on top of all his promo releases...To then read Jimin's reply in which he left no room for debate. 국민 정말 미안해ㅠㅠㅠ

So what have we learned over the past few days?

Jimin and Jungkook are fine, in fact better than fine, and not seeing them in public proves absolutely jack sh*t (reverting back to a bit of my pettiness here)

Jungkook was involved with the album more than we could have ever imagined. (can't wait to talk more about 편지, I have to say not many songs have ever touched me as much as this one, for various reasons...)

Jungkook visited Jimin's rehearsal (and was really interested in watching him record for a music show too 🥺) and was also for that reason so confidently announcing that something "amazing beyond words" was coming before the teaser for Set me free pt. 2 dropped

As expected Jimin's latest schedules are recording/company-home-eat-sleep and repeat so he has barely any time left and Jungkook misses him a lot :(

Jungkook is as supportive and admiring of his hyung as ever- his words not mine (still a huge Serendipity stan though 🤭)

And once again highlighting: their communication feels very warm, friendly and familiar, there is no sign of them not knowing about each other or being distant

This was all I just had to write down before my head started spinning, I will be back with more of my nerdy language analysis posts, thanks for reading if you decided to! 😊