#....actually now that i've written all this i'm not 100% sure you were asking for ALTERNATE akatsuki pairings anon. oops

[croucify]

✶ dedicated — hamzahthefantastic x reader

SUMMARY: after a year of dating, you plan on celebrating with your boyfriend but things go a different way.

WARNINGS: nsfw content so MDNI!!! established relationship, reader and hamzah don't live together, miscommunication, angst, fluff, and some more idk

A/N: thank you so much for 100 followers & for all the love on my works!!! this is the longest shit i've ever written AND listen to dance for you by beyonce by the end if u can!!!

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

you woke up to the sound of your boyfriend's soft snores. his arms were wrapped around you, legs tangled with yours, and the sheets barely covering your bodies. 

you slowly turn to face him, not wanting to stir him awake. his mouth was slightly parted. you place a hand on his cheek, tracing his cheekbone then his jaw. 

minutes after, you place a peck on his cheek then you try your best to get out of bed as fast and quiet as possible. he stirred in his sleep a bit at the loss of your body but still he remained asleep. 

you left the kitchen and made brunch for you. 

recently, hamzah hasn't been coming over to your place and would be busy with editing and work. you both would be sleeping at different times and by morning, you'd always find his arms wrapped around you or his head tucked into your shoulder. 

you were fine with it. both of you always put your career first before everything else, wanting the best for each other and your futures.

but today — it was a very special day. 

it was your anniversary and hopefully, nothing would get ahead of it. 

as you were placing the pancakes on the cake, your bedroom door opens and reveals your boyfriend. his hair messy and eyes still half-closed. 

a smile graces your face as he comes to your view. "hi baby," you greet before returning back to cooking. 

he walks to where you were and wraps his arms around your waist, head finding its way to your shoulder. 

"so today, i was planning to meet there at 8?" you told him while you turned the stove off. he hums in response before speaking.

"i think i have to film with martin at that time... but i'm not entirely sure yet." 

you let out a sigh, untangling yourself from his arms before taking a fork and knife and placing it on his plate. "martin again?" an eyebrow was slightly cocked at him before you went over to sit on the stools by your counter. 

he didn't know what that meant but proceeded to ignore the comment and have breakfast with you. 

it was quiet for a moment, then when you finished breakfast, you quickly got ready for work and bid goodbye to your boyfriend. 

the whole day at work, you've spoken to your co-workers about having to leave earlier than usual so you could prepare for your anniversary dinner with your boyfriend.

hamzah on the other hand... 

"martin! help me please!" he shouted as gave his friend the controller. 

they were currently filming a video and playing until dawn for the upcoming week. martin did the controls while hamzah yapped his ear off until he asked about the time. 

"it's like 9, why? are you celebrating something today?" he asked, both their eyes focused on the screen. 

hamzah wasn't completely sure as to why you guys were meeting up at 8 pm today. he thought about it the whole day. 

"i don't actually know... but i have to go now." the curly-haired boy stood up from his seat, ready to leave until mandy entered the apartment, eyes immediately falling on their recurring guest. "hamzah, what the hell are you doing here?" she said as she took her shoes off. 

"uhhh..." 

"isn't it you and y/n's first anniversary today?" then everything clicks. he doesn't even bother saying goodbye to the couple, immediately leaving to go to their favorite restaurant to see if you were still there. 

the worker said you had left 20 minutes ago. he mentally cursed himself.

he drove to your apartment building as fast as he could. once he arrived, he rang your doorbell and knocked on your door multiple times. you were so sure it would've gotten your neighbors worried. 

yet, you stayed. you stayed in your bedroom like how you stayed in that restaurant, waiting for him to arrive.

"y/n, i know you can hear me. i'm sorry, please open the door." his voice was muffled. 

you could still hear him knocking on your door even after 20 minutes. it seemed like he wasn't going to give up. so you get up from your bed and unlocked your door. 

when it swung open, your eyes were a bit red, sniffling softly as you faced him. guilt was running through his veins at the sight of you crying over him on your anniversary. 

"i'm sorry babe, i got caught with youtube-"

"no hamzah, it's always youtube and i see it now. i see what's more important." you cut him off. your arms were crossed and eyebrows knitted.

"i-it will always be youtube first before me right?" you choked as you said the words, tears welling up in your eyes. 

his eyes soften when tears start to fall down, reaching out to wipe them but you move away from his touch and flinch at his hand coming close to you. 

there was a pause between you two. hamzah opens his mouth to speak until he hears you sniffle. 

"i'm sorry y/n," was the only thing he could get out, feeling his heart fall to the pit of his stomach when you finally looked up at him. "i'll make it up to you i promise." his hands reached to hold yours, placing soft pecks.

you look at him blankly, trying your best to not give in and wrap your arms around him. 

"go home, hamzah." 

it's been three days since you've last seen hamzah. 

he knew you would always want space after every fight but he didn't know how much space you wanted this time. the image of you crying in front of him remained in his mind. he knew he messed up badly.

and so, the past few days, he would leave a fresh bouquet of flowers outside your apartment door and send a paid delivery of your favorite food. he also sent you good morning/night messages and would still update you on his whereabouts.

the small gestures made you miss him more. 

both your absences in your lives had left a void and made the two of you feel empty. 

you end up calling him and he tells you to come over to his place and to wear the dress he didn't get to see and that he'll be fetching you at 8.

the day went quickly and here you were, waiting outside your apartment building. 

when hamzah arrived, he immediately got out of the car and opened your door for you. 

the drive to his apartment was faster than you expected. the two of you didn't speak in the car the entire time, wanting to save everything when you were at his place. 

when he parked the car, he didn't get out of it yet. taking a deep breath then turning to look at you. the dress you wore exposed your thighs with the big slit it had on the side and it hugged you perfectly. 

it drove him insane. you could feel his eyes on you, so you looked up at him. "something wrong?" you asked teasingly, a smirk making its way to your face. 

hamzah cleared his throat before looking away from you. "nothing, let's go." you got out of the car first, not bothering to wait for your boyfriend to open it for you. 

a hand was over his mouth as he watched you sway your hips as you walked. it was like you were doing it on purpose. when you got to his apartment unit, you felt his hands making their way to where they were usually; your waist. 

his hands grazed your waist to the curve of your hips. "you're so beautiful..." he whispered, placing soft kisses on your shoulder up to your neck.

you close your eyes and let out a sigh as he continued to nip at your neck. 

he pulls you closer to his body, lips still on your neck. “hamzah…” your hands tangle in his curls, trying to push him away but he moves to kiss your lips, sucking your bottom lip. the two of you makeout aggressively to the point your teeth clash with each other. 

you were kissing each other for so long, you didn’t notice his hands sliding down to your ass and squeezing it as he pulled you closer to him. 

your hands reach for his tucked button-up shirt, trying to take it off and be even closer to him than you already are. his lips trailed down to your jaw, neck, and collarbone. 

“wanna take this to my room?” he asks you, hands caressing your neck. 

you nod and he holds your hand and takes you there but you see what he has set up on his dining table. “aw, i didn’t know you had something prepared.” you said softly as he closed the door of his bedroom. 

“yeah, wanted to make it up to you,” he said sheepishly, sitting down on his bed as he slowly took off his clothes. 

your eyes soften and you make your way towards him, slotting yourself in between his legs then sitting on his thigh. you place a hand on his cheek and pull him in for another kiss��this time it was softer and slower than the one earlier. 

you whine into the kiss when he slips his tongue in your mouth and you slightly roll your hips on his thigh. 

he reaches for the zipper of your dress, pulling it down before kissing down to your chest. you let out a soft moan as his lips started sucking and leaving open-mouthed kisses on your chest while he had his hands on your hips. 

hamzah starts pulling the sleeves of your dress down, letting you stand up first to take it off completely while he does the same. 

he lays on his bed, only in his boxers, and pulls you to sit on his lap. 

you straddle his lap, sitting down on his crouch, and his hands are on your hips once again. you were left in only your panties as the bra would be too obvious if you wore one under your dress.

he placed kisses all over your neck to your chest before taking one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the bud while he played with your other boob. you whine, digging your nails into his shoulders. 

he trailed kisses until he reached your underwear, looking up for permission. "just touch me hamzah, please," you moaned out, your hands in his hair, pushing him to where you needed him.

he places an open-mouthed kiss on your clothed heat, making you arch your back and tug on his curls. he then takes your underwear off before he proceeds to lap and suck your folds. his tongue swirls around while his thumb rubbed circles on your clit. 

when he started fucking you with his tongue, you kept squirming, his arms wrapped around your thighs as he tried keeping your legs wide open. "hamzah, it's too much," he continues moving his tongue in and out of you, starting to feel himself harden at the sounds you were making.

you start bucking your hips up his face until he stops. 

he begins to take his boxers off, stroking himself for a bit before lining up your entrance. he slides in slowly, watching your face contort as he stretches you open. 

you place your hands on his shoulders as leverage, staying for a while to let you adjust. he kissed you before he started moving in and out of you.

it was slow and gentle, he held one of your legs to his hips to go even deeper while your arms were wrapped around his neck and your fingers tangled in his black curls. 

he placed kisses on your neck once again, sucking at the skin by your pulse before moving down to leave more marks on your chest. 

after a few minutes, his pace started getting faster, the bed's headboard hitting the wall with every thrust he made. 

your moans started getting louder and your legs now wrapped around his torso while his arms wrapped around your body to hold you even closer.

"so tight," he groans as he removes his arms around you and pinned your hips down to the bed to fuck you harder. 

your jaw was slack as you moaned out his name loudly, you were sure his neighbors would already have an idea what you guys were doing but you couldn't care less. 

hamzah's thrusts started to get sloppier, untangling your legs from his torso and pressing his chest against yours as he slowly started to feel the knot in his abdomen. 

a few more thrusts and you come undone, your tight walls clenching around him which then made him spill inside you. 

his head falls to your shoulder, both of you trying to catch your breath. 

"i'm sorry," you hear him mumble before he slides out of you, laying beside you for a while. 

"i know i've been caught up in work and it wasn't an excuse to forget about our anniversary," he sits up a bit, pulling your body to his side so you two could cuddle.

"so, i'm sorry, i really am," you look up at him, a slight frown on his face. 

you place a hand on his cheek and smile. "i love you." he tells you, pecking the palm on your cheek before you place a kiss on his lips. 

"i love you, hamzah." the two of you stay in bed for a while, masking in the post-sex haze. 

after a while of cuddling and sharing a few kisses, you speak. 

"wanna eat what you prepared now?"

✶ taglist — @cdbabymp3 @noturbabe22 @dabuggh3 @kingvioleta @tumb1rgir1z @mfcherry LMK IF U WANNA BE ADDEDDD!!!

[ineffable-suffering]

Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator

Part 1: The Story of Job

I'm absolutely not the first one to talk about this on here and I probably shan't be the last either. Alas, here's my take on why all of the minisodes in Season 2 should be enjoyed with great care – and taken with a grain of angelic salt.

I'm gonna split this into 3 parts, aka the three minisodes we are shown, since I tend to get a bit waffley in my posts and want to still be able to include all the little details. Once I've written them, I'll link Part 2 & Part 3 here as well!

Alright, let's get into it under the cut of doom.

Episode 2 opens with the Story of Job. Right off the bat, I noticed that it sort of looks like an old film playing. At first I didn't read that much into it, but once we see the cut-away to Aziraphale at the bookshop, currently reading that part of the Bible (presumably), I immediately thought: "Oh! It's because it's his memory. He's remembering how it went down and therefore it plays like a figurative film in his head."

This, I then came to realize, is a very crucial difference to all the flashbacks of S1, which were exclusively told and narrated by God. May her intensions be as ineffable as they are: She did tell us all of these stories from an objective outsider's point of view. Now, however, it's Aziraphale who's re-telling those stories to us from memory.

And if there's one thing that's for certain, it's that a memory is something entirely different to an objective narration of a story. Just think about how you yourself remember things. Especially things that happened years, maybe even decades (or, in an angel's case, millenia) ago. What is it, that you really remember? Can you know for sure, that a conversation was held with those exact words? Are you 100% certain that the clothes someone wore weren't different? Had it really been snowing or would that make very little sense given what you're remembering happened in May? And did it even happen in May? Or does that just happen to be your favourite month, the current weather, your preferred style of clothing and what it was that you would imagine someone would have said to you?

What I'm trying to say is: The further away it is that something happened, the more your brain has to fill in the gaps. This is why, for example, your parents will remember the family summer holiday entirely different when you ask them about it 20 years later.

"No, it was Sarah who puked on the car ride home!" "Nonsense, Sarah never puked as a child. Bobby had that gone-off pizza, he's the one that was sick the whole ride long!"

We've all been there. Bobby made it out alive. Don't buy gas station pizza.

Alright, back to the plot: Naturally, Aziraphale is not actually human, so it is a pure assumption on my part that the way his memory works is similar to ours. However, the whole topic of "memory" is actually quite a recurring one on Good Omens.

Crowley seems to have lost his in the Fall, yet somehow managed to get most of it back. Not all of it, though, he clearly has some major gaps ("You used to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat!"). Beelzebub helps Gabriel store all his memories in their little fly container before they get wiped entirely too, by the Metatron and/or Saraqael. Crowley and Aziraphale (and possibly Jimbriel) perform a miracle together that makes everyone in Heaven and Hell forget who Garbiel is or what he looks like. And we know that the Book of Life apparently has the ability to completely erase someone from existence – ergo also erasing them from everyone's memory and making it is as though the person had never been in them at all.

So, clearly, angels and demons being able to remember, forget, reconstruct and, if you're the Metadork, wipe memories, is very much canon. Apart from that very last one, it does make them quite human-like in a way. We too can forget or (wrongfully and incompletely) reconstruct memories, due to things like trauma, illness or simply a lot of time having passed.

So, just like Crowley remembers going into battle but doesn't remember Furfur being there, or just like Jimbriel has entierly forgotten who he is but still remembers the tune and lyrics to Buddy Holly's song Everyday, and just like archangel Michael was miraculously made to forget Gabriel and yet says "Don't I know you?" when seeing him again – just like that, Aziraphale's memories of the story of Job, the story of wee Morag and the story of the magic show in 1941, might not actually be the whole truth.

So, time to look at where the furniture isn't.

Now, it could very well be that the costume designers of S2 thought: "Fuck it, let's go crazy" – but given that this show has a track record of meticulously making sure to stick to accurate and cohesive character design, doesn't it strike you as odd that Crowley would go from this look at the Flood in Mesopotamia, 3004 BC:

... to the (very iconic, don't get me wrong) Bildad the Shuhuite drip in 2500 BC:

... back to this at the crucifixion of Jesus Christ in 33 AD:

I mean ... I mean– come on, that seems like a bit of a far stretch, even for someone as enthusiastically experimental with fashion as Crowley.

And it's not just that: Where did the sunglasses come from, all of a sudden? And why do they look like some sort of obscure, ancient optometrist's device? It's a known historical fact that the Romans were the ones to have invented sunglasses, somewhere around 50-ish AD. Which actually matches perfectly with when Crowley and Aziraphale meet again in Rome 8 years after the crucifixion (51 AD).

So, where do the weird spectacles come from, over 2000 years too early? Maybe from Aziraphale's brain filling in some gaps? Hasn't Crowley always worn those ridiculous sunglasses? Was it Rome? Or Golgotha? Wessex? Oh, blimey, what does it matter!

And it's not just Crowley: Aziraphale's own clothes, as well as the other angels', seem to be very different from the rather plain linen we see him wear before and after the story of Job.

They're laced with golden embroidery along the neckline and sleeves. The remind almost of the clothes angels are depicted wearing in biblical and historical drawings. Ornate and decadent. Not at all like we see Aziraphale in the other flashbacks of S1.

Even Bildad the Shuhite's hair within the minisode keeps changing, going from all pouffy and voluminous to rather deflated and straight-looking:

The costume department either had to fix up two seperate wigs or manually straighten out the volume of the one again to give it a more sleek look. I'm not a professional in this field, but if there's anything I've learned from watching hours of behind-the-scenes material of movies and shows, it's that very little about costume, character, prop and set design is purely coincidental.

You know what it could be, though? An accurate representation of how memories aren't linear, historically correct and objective representations of a certain event, but rather an ever-changing, jumbled mess of impressions, emotions and exaggerations.

More specifically: Aziraphale's impression, emotions and exaggerations.

Like "remembering" Crowley with sunglasses because he's been wearing them for so long.

Like "remembering" himself wearing more luxurious, angelic clothes because that's how he thinks of the difference between Heaven and Hell.

Like "remembering" the permit as a ridiculously long scroll that folded out over an entire valley.

Like "remembering" Job's children to be weirdly sassy in an almost Aziraphale-esque way (Enon: "Don't be silly!") for the fact that Job would have probably taught them to be more humble and obedient in the presence of a literal angel.

Like "remembering" eating an entire fucking Ox after having just one bite of it while Crowley watched him lustfully, sipping on his wine.

Like "remembering" Crowley calling him 'angel', despite them having barely known each other back then.

There's a reason why the flashbacks in S2 seem so much more alive, quirky and, at many points, confusing and all over the place. Because they're not objective stories being told by a third party. They're Aziraphale's. So much of his own thoughts and feelings at the time get projected onto them because that's simply how memory works!

It's subjective. It's unrealiable.

It's not that I'm calling Aziraphale a liar. He's no more a liar than your parents are, mixing up Sarah and Bobby. Or you, remembering snow instead of sunshine. Memories aren't lies. They can simply be faulty, focus on things that you thought were more important and leaving out or changing things that weren't, to you.

The real challenge in all of this, is trying to filter through Aziraphale's stories to see what it actually is they're telling us. Where it is that the furniture isn't. And I think in this case, that's 6 main things (eff you, God, I know you like sevens, but I don't care):

God and Satan (still) talk to each other We see that Aziraphale is quite surprised when Muriel mentions that the whole Job thing is God's bet with Satan. But clearly, despite having made him and the rest fall, God still converses with Her number one traitor about whether or not the humans simply love Her because she gives them nice things or because they truly believe in Her.

God and Satan (and Heaven and Hell) can and do collaborate with each other when they feel like it So much for choosing sides, huh? Truthfully, this is not the first time this is shown to us, but still. It's another piece of evidence on the growing pile.

Aziraphale understands the World and humans way better than any of the other angels "Well, you see ... Citis is 58 ..."

Aziraphale, despite having troubles voicing it, absolutely disagrees and even condemns God's plan of destroying Job's children (and goats and camels and––)

Aziraphale is willing to lie and thwart the will of God Also not the first time we're being shown this but again, piiiile of evidence.

Angels don't automatically Fall simply by doing the above To me, this is one of the most important take aways. It's already hinted in S1 as well that 'Falling' seems to have been a one time even back when the first war broke out in Heaven. And I actually believe that ever since then, no other angels have Fallen again. Aziraphale is the best example for this. He has gone against God's plan numerous times and even lied to her very face (voice?) about it. And yet, nothing ever happened to him. Why exactly that is the case remains a topic for another meta (that I might or might not be working on already, teehee).

Alright, that concludes this first look at the Job minisode! If there's anything I missed, feel free to share it with me. I'll try and add Part 2 (the story of wee Morag) and Part 3 (the magic show of 1941) soon.

Update: Part 2 and Part 3 have officially been written, you can find it them right here:

Part 2: The Story of wee Morag

Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941

Hugs and kisses, (God)!

[flightyalrighty]

Everything you said about the Sonic movies is true and you're so real for it. I remember getting to that one part in the Knuckles show and turning it off right after because... what the hell LMFAO??

And like, I'm sure we all expect Sonic and his friends to not be 100% themselves in the movies, and I know he's supposed to be more of a kid, but them removing the core part of anti-authority is just... boring. Where is the sauce. Where is the Sonic?!

That's a part I like about your comic so far btw. Like, yes, G.U.N. SEEMED "friendly" at first, but secretly having inhibitor cuffs ready for Shadow? How these G.U.N. soldiers arresting them are totally okay with insulting him, and likely represent many more in the organization? Chef's kiss. Amazing work. BRAVO! So much shared with so little effort. I hope you're already proud of what you've written because it's so refreshing (and also just thank you for speaking up about the problematic aspects of the filmverse because its hard to find sometimes)! ❤️

You're speaking to my heart you know that? Thank you very much for this ask. Was too wiped out after work yesterday to answer it, but now that I am, I'd like to give you a big ol "YAAAAAAY" because goddamn, you're right. Where IS the sauce. Where IS the Sonic.

I think what you said at the end, "thank you for speaking up about the problematic aspects of the filmverse because its hard to find sometimes," is pretty sad. It makes me sad to think about the reasons why that might be besides general fandom nonsense.

I think that, because of that era older Sonic fans have been through in which there were a ton of youtubers and game journalists and stuff dumping a buncha bad faith criticisms into the internet about Sonic and influencing Sega/Sonic Team to change Sonic for THEIR sake, we've kinda collectively become this terrified, shaking little dog when it comes to actual GENUINE criticism regarding anything to do with this series. The Sonic fandom, from what I've seen since being here (2003) has this slight toxic positivity aspect to it. Slight.

This is pretty apparent when it comes to the Sonic movies, which are okay at best, but if anyone says this then a bunch of people are going to come marching into your inbox or comments making up a bunch of excuses as to why it's actually totally fine that there's no fleshed out women in three movies and a tv show. As one person once said to me: "Enjoy the boys and stop complaining about the girls"

Stop complaining? We complain all the time about games, why do the movies get a pass?

Well! Anyway! Thank you for reading Infested! Sonic the Hedgehog is braver than any G.U.N. soldier! Sorry for rambling!

[bee-devilling]

Oooh, that's so cool! Been a while since I listened to Ride the Cyclone. What's the fic about? And how much angst are we talking about? I am a sucker for angsty fics sometimes, whether or not I'm in the fandom.

The fic is set in an Everyone Lives AU (well, except Karnak and Virgil I guess. They're still very dead) but it goes into some detail as to how everyone is left after the accident. It ranges from temporary disabilities like broken bones, permanent disabilities like amputated limbs, and also not accident-related permanent disabilities, because when your body is under immense stress sometimes you discover shit you didn't realise you struggled with before.

But most of what I've written has been little bits and pieces after these events, some of which include:

All of the choir members learning ASL to communicate better with Ricky (unbeknownst to him, at least for the first while). Some members were fluent already (Specifically Constance. Noel would also sort of be in this category, but the second anyone tries to fingerspell something longer than 3 letters, he gives up.), some knew bits of it, like "please", "thank you", "yes" and "no", etc. and some were complete beginners. But they realised after the accident that Ricky has a lot to say, even if it wasn't verbally, and they wanted to bridge that gap. The first thing Ocean's signs to Ricky is a genuine, heartfelt apology for the way she's treated him.

Everyone is just A Little Off after the accident. Nothing big, no major health risks or nothing, and also I haven't quite decided what's happening to who. But one of them is just incredibly twitchy, and it's entirely uncontrollable. Another has levels of brain fog that is really starting to affect their studies. Another has heart palpitations, which took several incidents for them to realise they're not dying, this is just a thing that happens to them now. Not entirely the "came back wrong" trope, they're all basically the same people, but their bodies just didn't quite catch up to being reanimated.

Talia passing away. I feel a little horrible writing it, but I wanted to give her character a bit more respect than what most of the fandom gives her (which is just removing her in the quickest way possible to make room for Nischa) and I feel like letting Mischa grieve is a kinder way to remove her from the story. Also I haven't written the actual chapter in which this occurs yet, but I've written the 3 page letter (could be more, it's not 100% done) Talia sends Mischa to apologise for not telling him about her illness sooner.

Ocean dealing with hEDS after the accident (cos we love giving characters similar disabilities to me), because why not have her learn to stop spreading herself too thin by making a physical barrier in her way to stop her from pushing herself.

Mother-son bonding between Noel and his mom. Because yes, this is the woman who told her son to "dial it back" on his queerness but at the end of the day, it's 2009 in the middle of Bumfuck Nowhere, and I just feel that she wants her son to be safe above all else. Parents go about things the wrong way, but it doesn't make them inherently evil or abusive. Give her some understanding, some empathy.

Some of them just being a little queer. Or a lot queer. Noel fucking around with his gender expression, wearing dresses and makeup (though maybe not as risqué as the Monique Gibeau outfit), Ricky and Penny using each other to test out new pronouns, also I read a fic (I'll tag the writer if I can find it again) where Penny/Jane uses the name PJ and I wanna steal that idea so bad, I love it. Ocean cutting her hair short and wearing the "boys'" St. Cassian uniform (Butch Ocean is not a want, it's a need)

Anyway this is all I can remember right now, I'm sure there's more I could add. Thanks for the ask :D

[kouyou-arc-when]

Hey, this is a great ask and I am so sorry for not replying earlier. I am responding like this because I actually broke the character limit since I'm dumb -_- I've written a lot of posts about this on reddit, and many people came up to me and asked me something similar. Your line of thinking is good. Regarding Dazai:

So, the thing is - to properly diagnose any personality disorder, you need to talk to that very person to understand their inner mechanisms. There are certain behavioral traits we can observe from the outside and make some guesses based on that: for example, Dazai's broadly dented empathy and why that's often found in people with ASPD.

However, for many other personality disorders it is very difficult to conclude much without the person saying ~I feel x because of y. I do c because of b.

Why? Personality disorders are internal structures that cause a person's behavior to be challenging to either them or others. To understand these mental processes is much more demanding than seeing a person just feels sad or anxious, to explain it simplistic terms.

The key behind many disorders is to know WHY a person is doing what they're doing. This one thing changes whether a person has x,z,y,t,n or whatever condition.

An example: BPD and CPTSD are often mistaken for one another. Same as with BPD, CPTSD, Autism and ADD in women, but BPD and CPTSD tend to have the largest "overgap", you can even have both at the same time. That's because many of the outside observable symptoms are the same.

An example: unstable relationships are a symptom of ALL of the above, but BPD is sort of...an outdated PD according to many specialists due to the fact that it was used as an "everything" disorder, where people with socially unconventional emotions were dumped. That's why you'll find two people with BPD that are almost nothing alike.

However, even if we hold to classic diagnostic criteria, let me show how the same symptom can be a product of entirely different circumstances.

For example: Someone with BPD will have unstable relationships due to an extreme fear of abandonment. Someone with Autism may have unstable relationships due to differences in communication styles Someone with ADHD will have unstable relationships due to various circumstances: emotional regulation, executive functioning etc.

So really, the outward result may be the same, but the cause is different.

However, now, typically the main reason someone could have BPD is either due to extreme splitting, favorite person behavior, numbness and/or abandonment issues.

Dazai 100% has "favorite person" syndrome going on with Oda - the way he idealized Odasaku and then devalues everyone around him in comparison is pretty clinical - doesn't mean their relationship isn't lovely, but it's certainly something a therapist would take note of.

It's no shocker Dazai has unstable relationships, but we don't 100% know why he does what he does.

That's the whole thing Asagiri said - the character is meant to be like a donnut, where you don't really know what's in the middle - so it's extremely difficult to say which PD fits him for sure, probably even more difficult than the average neurodivergent character. In my opinion, several interpretations of Dazai are simultaneously valid due to the fact that you could assume multiple personal struggles within him, and come to a reasonable conclusion.

Does Dazai have abandonment issues? He says he always loses everything he wants, is EXTREMELY bitter over Ango, and definitely shows some levels of "splitting", especially in how he treats Oda vs Ango, Akutagawa vs Atsushi etc etc.

I'm pretty confident he has PTSD, and everything that comes with that. He certainly has a personality disorder too, due to the fact that a lot of his difficulties stem from his personality, and not just brain chemistry.

Kunikida says that most of his emotions "seem" like an act, which raises a lot of questions to what is even happening on the inside. Asagiri said Dazai is really only himself in front of people like Oda and Fyodor. That version of Dazai is...much less cheerful than with everyone else.

I don't personally think Dazai is autistic since he has a good hang on social cues and overall communication. Mamoru Miyano said PM Dazai was still learning to communicate with others back in his Dark Era days, but it wasn't that he couldn't do it - he was just not interested in learning it.

I feel like Asagiri gave Dazai this "unrealistic" trait of being primarily isolated because he's extraordinarily intelligent (which is not how geniuses tend to feel irl, most of the time) but I always feel like there is something more to it.

There is definitely some /disconnect/ between Dazai and "normal" people, where he doesn't fully seem to understand certain things, he falls short there. As someone who has CPTSD diagnosed, I get the impression he maybe has a similar thing going on as many of us: A extremely traumatic experience disrupted a lot of normal emotional and cognitive processes, and now he's both extremely hypervigilant and unable to snap out of that "shellshocked" state. He needs to "perform" conventionality, and being a normal person.

In one wan chapter, he "made a joke" that you start doing one bad thing after another, and suddenly you feel nothing at all. That's the trademark numbness in both CPTSD and BPD.

There was this TDIPUD moment where he talks about how a personality is just a bunch of unstable premises that survive to uphold the basic instincts of the human mind - but how it's easily destroyed for that reason. This is a scene where he tortures the guy, and I was like "wow, I really get it". Severe trauma can just destroy the very structure of your personality, because extreme pain just numbs everything within you. "You" as a person can't survive.

BPD is also related to an unstable sense of self - which could be connected to the former paragraph. Sometimes lowered empathy is also a byproduct of BPD, in fact, the thing is that both BPD and CPTSD come from trauma 99% of the time. They're shockingly similar disorders.

So, does Dazai have BPD? No idea. He could also be schizoid to some extent, which is funny, because Franz Kafka had this disorder, the author that inspired Asagiri's nickname.

For now, I'd just leave at he has CPTSD for sure

Most of these disorders are very broad descriptors, and it's difficult to label most humans in a way that will genuinely encompass what their experiences are. Most of the time, these diagnostics are used to match a person with the best treatment available, or to explain what they're going through - so I don't think there is a perfect diagnosis for Dazai aside from PTSD, but he's definitely extremely neurodivergent. Thanks for reading <3

[theerurishipper]

Do you think Emo Marinette treated Claw Noir better than him her? Because I've seen so many Marinette kinnies say that they think she was much kinder to him and he was an awful Jerk, and now I'm kinda questioning if I'm missing something?

In my eyes, they treated each other equally bad. I'm tending towards saying Marinette fans just aren't used to seeing an Adrien or Cat who isn't fawning over Marinette no matter what she does to him. If Shadybug is rude and dismissive of Claw, he's rude and dismissive back.

So they think Claw's treatment of Badynette was so much worse because her treatment of her Cat is honestly not all too different from the regular LadyNoir vibes pre s5. Him not catching her when she falls from the sky for example. Our Adrien wouldn't do that, period. No matter how pissed he is.

But I wouldn't necessarily say that there was anything Badynette did that our Marinette wouldn't do to our Cat under heightened circumstances. I would even say that Marinette is much more likely to be the one betraying Cat Noir to get his Miraculous than the other way around.

So I guess it makes sense that Marinette fans think that Claw treated Shadybug worse because he was the only one who actually showcased bad behavior towards the other one our main characters wouldn't do. They're basically just not used to seeing Marinette not getting rewarded with kindness from Adrien whne she isn't treating him well either. Which is ironic, that Marinette fans react this badly to seeing Marinette in a more or less equal dynamic with Adrien for once.

But that's just the way I instinctively read it. I do wonder if there's something I'm missing because of how persistent Marinette fans are with that take.

I did not know that take was popular, but I have seen it before. I have written about this before, so I'll just put it here.

And maybe I'm just defensive, but there's a line about how Claw Noir treated Shadybug horribly, which comes off to me as OP pointing out that this is another way Marinette had it worse, when she was just as cruel to him lol. They both hated each other, it was mutual. She wasn't there for Claw Noir; she hated him and treated him just as badly as he treated her. Did we miss her attacking him and taking his ring? In fact, he was the one who reached out to her and tried to offer kindness and comfort first. And no hate on Emonette, they're on better terms now, but they 100% were not like that before, and she did not care about him.

In fact, rewatching the scene, she was the one who threw the first insult.

Claw Noir: There! You can have your boyfriend back! (Shadybug pulls out his belt) Hey! (Shadybug uses the belt to tie Ubiquity and keep her captive.) Don't yank the tail! Shadybug: At least now it's being put to good use. (stares at Marinette's wallpaper of Adrien in her monitor) Even in this world, we find pictures of that self-centered Adrien Agreste. Claw Noir: Obviously, he can only be perfect here, too. Shadybug: A perfect stuck-up brat. No wonder you're a fan of his. (jumps up on Marinette's bunk bed and looks at her board full of pictures of her friends, and notices the open trapdoor above her) They must've gone out this way!

You'll notice that this is their first scene together, and she's the one who's insulting him. He doesn't say a thing to her that might have provoked her. Which is not me saying that he was nicer to her than she was to him, since he starts fights later in the special, but saying that Shadybug was the nicer one when the first line she says is an insult directed at him is... pretty rich lmao.

I'm not sure that it's because of how the show presents their relationship (though it could be a factor). I think it's more that the people saying these are the ultra Marinette stans who call Adrien a sexual harasser or an abuser or something. It sounds like something they'd say.

Thank you for your ask!

[writingquestionsanswered]

Anonymous asked:

[ask edited for length and content]

Egodeath/Jealous Anon. Thank you. I feel better after your response. I wanted to clarify two things, just if you want more context: With the similarities, I think I'm afraid that if I do get published, my books will be instantly rejected because people think it's just another copycat. I've seen people instantly reject a book just because it was similar to one that's already popular. I put so much effort into making sure my ideas are my own, it would really hurt if readers thought the work was copied and not my own.

You are deeply overthinking things here.

If you want to be a published writer, you need to reconcile yourself with the fact that everyone isn't going to love your books. And that's fine, because no one has EVER written a book that was universally loved 100% across the board. No one. Ever. In history. Every single book ever written has its critics. Every single author whose ever put pen to paper has people who don't like them. This is just a reality.

If some people don't like your books because they're similar to another book they read, that has nothing to do with you. That's their prerogative. Other people might dislike your books because they're not similar enough to another book they read. It's pointless to worry about it because you will never please everyone. Why people don't like your book is none of your concern.

I guess with ACOTAR it was just too many specific things. The character design and role of Rhysand. The telepathy between the love interests. There was a whole lot more but I put it down so long ago I've forgotten most now - but at some point it just felt like reading my own notes when I opened one of those books. The worst was when a fictional name I made up was used in that book - and given it's popularity I 'd probably have copyright issues if I tried to keep it in my work anyway. I think that was just the last straw to make me quit the series.

It happens, and it's honestly not as big a deal as it feels like it is now. Again, ideas don't come from nowhere. As much as you strive to make sure your ideas are your own, our "creative wells" are all filled from the same places, and human experience is only so varied, so the odds of multiple people coming up with the same things over and over are actually pretty likely. You're holding yourself up to impossible standards by expecting yourself to create stories that are wholly original and share no similarities with any other story.

Let me share a few times when this has happened to me in hopes it will help you see it's not that big a deal...

A few years after I wrote my first novella (which was not yet published at that time), I saw a commercial for a new TV show. The background concept, setting, and many surface details were pretty identical to my novella, but what KILLED me is one of the main characters had the same name and nickname as my protagonist... and they weren't even that common a name/nickname for that time period. I was sick... absolutely sick. It completely derailed my plans to flesh the story out into a full novel and publish it. Now, YEARS later, I just laugh when I think about it because the things that felt like glaring similarities now are nothing. The plot and conflict of the TV show are completely different from my novella. In the intervening years, I've come across countless other stories with the same background concept, same setting, same surface details, similar characters... and all of those shows, movies, stories, books, video games, comics, graphic novels, plays--whatever--have people who adore them and DGAF about any similarities to some random TV show.

Less than two years after my debut novel was published, I was reading a newly released book and was absolutely floored by the number of similarities. Two less common names, two unusual titles used in a similar way, and three unusual descriptive words used in the same way. Plus, 24 bigger similarities like setting similarities, plot point similarities, situational similarities... Were it not highly unlikely that the author had read my book, and had it not been for the short amount of time between my book and their book, it would have been tempting to think they'd intentionally copied me, because the similarities were just that glaring. But the reality is, we're just two writers who think alike, and in the years since, I've found a few other writers with whom I constantly have these kinds of similarities. They happen, and they feel world-ending at the time, but I promise you they're not as big a deal as your brain is making them into.

So, seriously, stop worrying about it. Similarities are going to happen, and they're going to be glaring sometimes, and there's nothing you can do about it. There's absolutely no way you can write a book that has not a single similarity with an existing story, and even if you could, that's not going to mean you'll write a book that will be universally loved 100% by everyone. People are going to dislike your book no matter what you do, and some of those people may see similarities between apples and oranges. There's nothing you can do about it. You're not writing for them anyway. You're writing for the people who are going to LOVE your book, and that will be the majority, similarities or not. ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[chaoticnandovibes]

My Apology to the Community:

I want to be transparent on the reason why I haven't been able to update any of my fics for such a long time.

I passed out twice at the beginning of the year. They were both logged as ‘unexplained transient loss of consciousness’. Because I had two they had to investigate me.

Convinced it was just PoTS at first (struggle to regulate heart rate, causing extreme increases when standing). Did some tests, diagnosed with Epilepsy AND PoTS.

They diagnosed the falls as seizures as they couldn't be 100% sure of which it was so they went with the worst of the two, but I wasn't very convinced.

Lost my license for a year. Still waiting for the day I can get behind a wheel again and praying nothing happens to delay that.

I started Lamotrigine (anti-epileptic). First regular med I've taken.

Felt OK to begin with- I'm on a small dosage, thr tablets were chewable and tasted fine. Actually kinda looked forward to having them.

Increased it by 25mg and everything fell apart.

Had a followup appointment with a different doctor, he's convinced the falls were PoTS, not seizures. We continue the Lamotrigine as a preventive (despite no history of seizures in childhood or my family). Made more sense, even though I don't understand how they can measure how effective medication if I've never even had a seizure. But for the career path I'm on, it's better for me to stay on it anyway even if I'm not actively having fits.

Took about a month to get even remotely used to this medication. Then they tried to increase it again and same thing, just declined, onslaught of symptoms.

Went back to previous dosage until things settled. Felt alright enough to write my first Landoscar fic and make some additions to Gardener AU, as a sort of comeback, to see if I could still write okay. I can lol. Thanks again Ruby.

Then tried to increase it again. The goal is 4 tablets a day, I'm on 2. Halfway there.

Managed to get the flu right as this happened and it was the shittiest I've ever felt in my life.

Recovered, and now I'm here, and I am genuinely so fucking sorry that I haven't been able to update any of my fics for so long.

It feels as though when I'm finally on track, when everything's in order and I feel like I'm finally making progress in my life and heading towards better days, something comes along and fucks it all up like it's nothing. It all just makes you wonder if it's even worth flying if you'll fall anyway. I'm trying and I don't know, I just don't fucking know.

But I am sorry, even if sorry isn't enough to cover the months I've been inactive for. I want to write, but I can't, and I can't describe the feeling but it hurts that, right now, it's so difficult to work on my fics like I did before, the fics I love and wrote with so many wonderful people - you all know who you are.

I'm not asking for forgiveness or pity or attention, I'm just asking for understanding. They will be written and chapters will be added again one day, but today will not be that day.

Thank you for reading this, I hope it sheds enough light on everything.

– Love, Mimi ❤️

[georgeweasleyslostearhq]

can i req like xavier x reader where theyre rivals but readers liked xavier for a while now but xavier has no clue. xavier always teases reader when he gets the opportunity to yk but one day he has been like avoiding reader/not talking to them for some reason and reader confronts him abt it

oo

WHAT'S THE POINT?

pairings: Xavier Thorpe x Reader Summary: ^^^ Warnings: light swearing

it's really frustrating when you have a slight crush on a guy that says he hates your guts.

you don't even know why or how you like him, you should hate him by the way he talks to you, the way he speaks about you. but there's just something about him that's so...enticing.

maybe it's his eyes, his deep hazel eyes. so harsh at first look but shows something deeper than that when you look deeper

or his hair, his long light brown hair, looking so soft making you want to run your hands through it.

or maybe his lips, the same lips that held the harsh words, but the same lips that were so plump and pink that made him look so...kissable.

but it didn't matter what made you take a liking to him, the fact is you do and that was that.

but every mean comment seemed to hurt a little more because of that fact.

but you thought back to all the times he was arguing with you, and questioned if it was actually flirting instead of fighting.

-

you smiled down at your paper, seeing the mark written in red at the top.

you had spent ages studying for the test and it seemed to pay off.

you looked up in front of you to where Xavier sat where he proudly showed you his mark, smirking at you as you looked at his 100%!

you rolled your eyes, sighing at his childishness

"better luck next time, sweetheart" he winked

"you would you know if I didn't get the same mark?" you questioned

"did you?" he raised an eyebrow

"just shut up" you groaned

"aw, don't worry, you'll beat me next time, dingus" he pouted

-

an during the poe cup.

you tripped over and cut you knee, the blood pooling out and sliding down your leg.

you winced in pain and held onto your thigh to to stop the bleeding as two Jesters came running to get their flag

"Go and get it" Xaveri yelled to Ajax as he stopped in front of you.

"how could you possibly do that, idiot" he chuckled as he bent down to your level

"oh piss off" you whined

"are you ok?" he helped you up slowly

"I'm fine" you sniffed

"are you sure, you can always tell me when you feel small or hurt or like you've failed and lost" he smiled smugly

"you'd love that wouldn't you?"

"I would, I would really would" he nodded cockily

-

but you highly doubted it was flirting, i mean it couldn't be, could it?

but he did always have a reason to talk to you, either to rub in your face that he got a good mark, to ask you how you are sarcastically or to just tell you that you should do better and try harder

but recently he hasn't been doing that, he hasn't been near you at all.

you haven't seen him in a week, in fact and it was pissing you off.

you always had a snarky comeback to throw at him when he insulted you.

but now that he hasn't come to do any of those, you haven't been able to do that and it made you mad.

so you went off to find him.

following him through corridors past people, you managed to catch up to him.

"hey! Xavier, wait up!" you called out to him, he stopped walking and turned around to see who it was

"what now?" he huffed

"what are you planning?" you questioned him as you stood in front of him

"what do you mean?" he asked

"you've been avoiding me" you crossed your arms

"just because I haven't talked to you doesn't mean I've been avoiding you, besides, we're not friends, I'm not obligated to talk to you" he announced coldly

"I know that" you paused "but it's not like you"

"it's not like me how?" he shook his head confused

"you always find an excuse to talk to me, but you haven't bothered lately, why?" you inquired

"what's the point? all we do is bicker, it never gets anywhere, so why bother?" he glared at you softly- if that was even possible

"well that's not my fault" you argued

"yes! yes it is your fault! it is all your fault. everything is your fault!" he yelled at you, frightening you at his sudden outburst

"no it's not, I haven't done anything!" you replied

"yes it is! you drive me insane!" he covered his face aggressively

"that's not my fault!" you scoffed

"yes it is! everything about you drives me crazy!" he spoke anxiously

"what's that supposed to mean?" you questioned

"it means that they way you laugh at things even when they aren't funny, the way you always have a smile on your face, the way you try your hardest to do your best at school, the way you always know what to say to cheer someone up, the way you see the best in anyone, even when they are the worst possible person ever and the way you make me feel drives me absolutely insane." he admitted

you were silent, seeing that he wasn't exactly done with what he was saying

"and I get to experience none of those for myself, none of those things are for me" he muttered

"what's your point?" you tilted your head in confusion

he turned to look away before looking back at you, the corner of his lips lifting to a smirk.

"my point is that I want you to do those things with me, but all I get is you rolling your eyes and scoffing before you walk away" he said

"so what you're saying is that..." you took a deep breath, looking directly in his eyes

he sighed "it doesn't matter what I'm saying, it won't change anything, because you don't like me back" he whispered the last bit

"are you kidding?" you chuckled

he rolled his eyes and bit the inside of his cheek

"I've liked you for ages! but you were too dumb and oblivious by rivalry to even notice it!" you confessed

"oh"

"yeah" you gulped

"well- um, I won't avoid you anymore then" he coughed awkwardly

"seriously" you huffed, throwing your hands by your sides

"well, would you want to do something sometime?" he asked

"yeah" you smiled "yeah, I'd like that"

------------------------------------------------

[femmmie]

ianthony prompt: Anthony competing for attention for an oblivious Ian vs a protective cast over their papa ian hehe

ooh I love it! I've written a fic like this before, it's called 'A little bit of madness' and it's from Shayne's perspective. I'm always happy to write this dynamic because I'm a truther for it lmao!

After the funeral roast, tensions were definitely lowered. The cast and crew treated and saw Anthony more like their peer in stead of some external CEO. He was truly a part of the new Smosh.

New Smosh, or 'new new Smosh' as Anthony liked to call it, was arguably one of the best eras the company had ever known. The quality of the videos was high, the audience loved it and they had a blast filming.

Even so, people had not forgotten the past. Anthony wasn't entirely off the hook. Especially Ian's biggest supporters - Arasha, Chanse and Shayne - were keeping an eye on him.

Everyone saw it, it was so obvious. Ian and Anthony were in love. But the current situation was too good to change. This golden era of Smosh brought everyone so much joy, you didn't want to change a thing about it.

Anthony would look at Ian with big doe eyes, enthusiastically clapping and laughing whenever Ian did anything, and encouraging everyone to join in.

Ian would actually smile and laugh, with such a carefree demeanor, nobody had ever seen him like this. And he'd look at Anthony whenever he wasn't looking (which wasn't very often) and you'd see him breathing in, in wonder, like, 'is this real life?'

"Ian, let's go to our meeting," Anthony said, walking into the room at Smosh hq.

"Let's go!" Ian replied.

They vanished into Ian's office.

"Shouldn't he get his own?" Chanse commented with one eyebrow raised. "They sure are in there a lot."

"I'm happy my estranged dad is back with the milk and all…" Arasha weighed her words. "But I kinda liked mine and Ian's father/son time. It's been cut short by a lot lately."

"It seems like we have no choice but to set in action Plan Goblin Mode," came a voice out of nowhere.

Arasha and Chanse looked around and were startled. Shayne had appeared out of thin air. He stroked an imaginary goatee.

"Plan… Goblin Mode?" Arasha asked with her deadpan face and a serious tone.

"Yes. We have to make Ian realize that he doesn't have to be Anthony's sidekick again. He's the boss and Anthony can either go with the flow or suck it!"

"Yeah!" Chanse and Arasha answered like a little two-person army.

Shayne looked at them and his signature funny face appeared. He whispered: "Let's Do This!"

In the meantime, Ian and Anthony didn't have a clue that a plot was being hatched.

"I'm so happy that we have this level of trust with the cast, it's so refreshing not having to do everything my- ourselves, like, they are handling it!" Anthony was peacocking his swole arms behind his head and stretched his legs comfortably. "And it's all because of you, Ian."

"You know me, a great leader and president," Ian joked. "But forreal, I especially love Shayne and Amanda's podcast, they are handling that 100% and it's one of our best money-makers. If we can scale that…"

"Let's take it slow. There have been enough changes this past year, now it's time to focus on what truly makes you- us happy."

"Yeah," Ian smiled. "I really liked Let's Do This, though. I'd love to see that show restored in some way."

"Absolutely, we are going to make it work! But, Ian?"

"Yeah?"

"What are they doing?"

"Who -oh."

Three heads were pressed to the outside of their office window. Ian gestured for Shayne, Arasha and Chanse to come in.

"Hey, what's up?" Ian looked at them with annoyed fondness.

The trio got in position, and started to dance. Shayne did a beat-box, Arasha vibed along and Chanse began to rap and sing:

"Anthony, you're back, we had a blast at the roast

But you got to know we love Ian the most

You already have Ian in love with you

So now it's time to let us hang out with him too!"

"Put that on your tattoo!" Arasha added.

"Okay that's enough!" Ian said, trying to hide his laughter. "Get outta here!"

They left the office and Ian gestured apologetically at Anthony.

"Kids these days…"

Anthony had that look in his eyes again. "Ian, I know it was a joke, but is there some truth to the love thing?"

"What? Oh, that.. well.." Ian tried really hard to inspect the wall behind Anthony.

"Because it's true for me too.. Ian, please look at me?"

"Anthony-" Ian stammered. "Can we, can we talk about this somewhere else?"

"Yeah, we can. But you know, if Shayne and Courtney can make it work, why not us?"

"You're kinda right…"

The guys looked at each other, and something very heavy pulled them in, like gravity, and they were standing closer and closer to each other. Hands trembling, lips quivering.

"Anthony…"

"Damn, our plan backfired!" Shayne said with a mischievous smile.

"You mean it worked?" Courtney walked into the room.

"Yeah," Shayne replied and kissed Courtney on her cheek.

"This needed to happen," Chanse said. "The sexual tension was distracting everyone."

The only one not cheering was Arasha.

"But our father/son moments…"

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

Hi, sorry to ask but have you written any fanfics where Jerry is autistic? I've read your autistic!morty fic and thought that was excellent. I'm trying to find Jerry-centric fanfics where he isn't mischaracterized/demonized. (Way too many people write Jerry as transphobic which -_-ll no he isn't)

Hi, no need to apologise! I haven't written any autistic Jerry fics and I'm not sure if I know of any (if anyone else does, please leave recs on this post!). I do 100% view him as autistic though. Thank you!

Yeah honestly Jerry being portrayed as transphobic is something that bothers me as a trans guy? I headcanon him as supportive but clueless/cringe at times (he a little confused but he got the spirit).

I do have a trans Morty WIP with a scene between Morty and Jerry, although Morty is still very early on in figuring out that he might be a guy, and Jerry kind of knows something is up but assumes Morty is a lesbian rather than a trans guy and so kind of fumbles but ultimately is trying to be supportive/nice. Morty does worry about Jerry not loving him anymore if he's trans, although this is Morty's POV rather than being objective/a thing that actually happens.

I'll leave the scene below the cut in case anyone's interested. Warnings for mention of periods (and them being referred to in a gendered way), fear of transphobia from parents, accidental misgendering (and misgendering/deadnaming of Morty in the text since this is only the very start of Morty's gender questioning).

“Morti? Rick said you’re sick. Are you OK?” Jerry opens the door. Morti quickly shoves her phone under her pillow. Thankfully, her dad is as oblivious as ever as he walks over and rests a hand against her forehead.

“You don’t feel warm. Is it, uh, you know,” Jerry points down towards his own abdomen, “woman troubles?” he asks in an exaggerated stage whisper. Morti wants to die all over again. She presses her face into her pillow.

“Hey, sweetheart, i-it’s OK.” Morti feels Jerry rest a tentative hand on her shoulder. “Do you need anything?”

Morti takes a few deep breaths to calm herself and then sits up.

“N-no, Dad, I’m OK.”

“OK, honey.” Jerry wraps his arms around her and Morti can’t help but wonder if he would still hug her like this if he knew what she’d spent the past couple of hours reading about. She hugs him back tightly, suddenly unable to stop thinking that she might have to make the most of the affection while it lasts.

When Jerry pulls back, his face clouds with concern and Morti realises she’s once again been crying. She’s getting really sick of that.

“Morti, honey, what’s wrong?”

Morti feels the question writhing around in her gut until it chokes its way out of her mouth. “Dad… you’d love me no matter what, right?”

“Of course, sweetie. No matter what, you’ll always be my daughter.”

The words are meant to be a comfort, but all Morti can think about is the possibility that she’s not his daughter.

“Morti? Are you gay? It’s OK if you’re gay, you know.” As always, Jerry is well-intentioned but clueless. Truthfully, Morti’s not really put much thought into her own sexual orientation, and it’s not her main concern right now. She shakes her head, and Jerry looks doubtful but leaves it. 

After a few minutes, Morti works up the courage to speak again. “Dad? Could-could you… tell me a story? Like when I was little?” she cringes as she says the words, knowing she’s far too old to be asking for something like that. To her relief, Jerry smiles.

“Sure thing, sweetie.” 

He launches into an improvised story, very similar to the ones she remembers him coming up with when she was younger. She has a memory of Summer complaining Jerry’s stories were boring, always demanding more action. However, once Summer had aged out of wanting a bedtime story and left Morti as the sole listener, Jerry had settled comfortably back into his original stories, which Morti found calming and reassuring. 

Her dad’s voice relaxes her and she rests her head against the pillow, feeling her eyelids begin to droop. Jerry’s hand rests on her hair and strokes it gently, just as he used to all those years ago. It’s enough to block out the negative thoughts for the time being, and Morti is so exhausted from the recent events that she soon drifts peacefully into sleep.

[legobiwan]

[sliding you a 20] do you have any thoughts on super dimentio

hoooo hooo ho ho ho ho ho ho

Yes. Many, many thoughts. Uhhhh, this got a little long. It's been a hot minute since I've been able to wax ineloquent about this topic (one of my favorite topics). It's also 3AM and I have unbelievable insomnia right now, so caveat lector and all that jazz. I'm not exactly sure what I'm writing here, but it's a lot of writing ahhahahaha.

I think it's very interesting that Count Bleck was not a vessel for the Chaos Heart, nor was Dimentio (at least initially). Bleck commanded the Heart's power and was protected by said power due to his knowledge of the Prognosticus, but the only person who could actually be a vessel for the heart was Luigi.

And why our man in green? I have a theory about the Prognosticus and its prophecies, that they were less specific than the book's wielders would have thought. After all, prophecy requires belief and thus simple statements are woven into paths of self-inflicted destiny. I don't think Luigi was the only being who could have hosted the heart, but he was, as it were, the right man for the job in the right place at the right time.

Now, let's remember that Luigi was turned into his monster form before Dimentio merged with him and Chaos Heart. Dimentio didn't have to do that. He absolutely could have pulled a Bleck and just puppeteered monster!Luigi around while enjoying the benefits of the Chaos Heart's protective shield. But he chose to merge with the Heart and with Luigi. To gain more power? Or just for the lulz? I'm tempted to say that Dimentio only thought this through partway, that his "spicy concoction" was a bit of improv that would reap eventual benefits that he might not have realized at the time.

And what would those benefits be? Well, let's think about this. The Chaos Heart is essentially an immortal force that can't be destroyed, only delayed. Now that Luigi and Dimentio merged with heart, this means all those atoms went into the metaphysical blender and now there's a bit of the Chaos Heart in Luigi and Dimentio (and a bit of Dimentio in Luigi and vice-verse), all of which has fascinating implications.

Because, if you have even a part of an immortal force that's now part of you - what does that do to your own mortality? I'm pretty convinced the only reason Luigi isn't dead at the end of SPM is the Chaos Heart. (And Dimentio might be in the Underwhere, but if Luigi survived, then Dimentio isn't 100% done, either). And this begs the question, then - can Luigi die? Will he age naturally after this whole event? I have...some definite opinions on this that I don't want to reveal quite yet (I will get back to writing once this stupidly busy semester is finally over), but I do think it's fitting that the man who deals with the undead on the regular might just have a little bit of paranormal going on himself.

And that doesn't even touch the idea that Luigi may have inherited a bit of Dimentio's magic (and madness, possibly). (Okay, so I do love the idea of Luigi just snapping his fingers one day and a box appearing out of nowhere. Just...the angst possibilities are so, so delicious. Yes, this might happen in one of my stories. :D

But getting back to Super Dimentio...I wonder how conscious Luigi was for that whole episode. My thought is that he was not so much in the driver's seat, not due to the Chaos Heart, but due to the Floro Sprout stripping away all of his free will. (Which means Luigi never actually made a decision, as written in the Prognosticus and is another reason I firmly believe the whole drama with the Chaos Heart and Dimentio is so not resolved at the end of SPM). You have to ask - if Dimentio had managed to get Luigi to join his side of his own free will (and I think he could have made that happen, if he had had more time to manipulate Luigi) - would Luigi have been able to control his monster form? Survey says (survey of one, that is) "yes."

And poor Mario throughout all of this. You have to figure that the moment he caught sight of his brother in that form, Luigi dead in his mind. And this is why, unlike Mr. L, I think Mario would have no guilt about destroying Super Dimentio. Luigi, at that point, was gone.

Except he wasn't, as we know. And now Mario has to come to terms with the fact that he twice tried to kill his little brother, because the only way to save the world was to destroy the one person who meant everything to him. And he would never do that. And didn't. Because Luigi was dead the moment that monster appeared. But Luigi wasn't dead. And this is what Mario shoves far, far down into the deepest recesses of his consciousness. He never wants to think about that battle again, he can't stop himself from seeing that terrible image every time he lays eyes on his brother once they're back in the Mushroom Kingdom.

And Luigi? He knows something is off. Mario is acting weird. Luigi himself feels weird and he can't quite place what the issue is, what that itch in the back of his brain is trying to tell him. Why he tends to tilt his head at any question, why his laugh has gained a sharpened edge, why that little voice that always told him to be careful, you could get hurt is quieter than it has been in years.

The day he greets Mario with a lilting "Ciao," a word foreign on his tongue no matter what his last name might suggest otherwise - that's the day it clicks.

That's the night he finds his brother passed out on the couch, two empty bottles of Mushroom wine toppled on their sides.

That's the night Luigi packs his bag and walks out the front door in search of answers.

[voidedaurora]

she deleted the video of them dancing lololol

(TW: SA,Coercion sexual Talk)

I wish people would understand that even if it is “innocent” it’s still weird af to be doing that. Like put it into perspective. Let’s look at this example:

you find out your 15 yr old daughter is sleeping on an online visual open world game for hours with an 18 year old man.

Would you let your 15 yr old kid/sibling be “cuddled up” beside some 18 year old they met on the internet????

On another note.shame on Mel for trying to make it look like y’all forced her into doing anything with her when she was the one who would inititiate the “fun time” stuff mostly. what I think is that she regretted doing it. She regretted it, and trying to hide or quell that feeling , she made it seem like it y’all were the ones constantly begging for it and kept pressuring her to do it. ( I am also confused as to why in the response her friend made it said she had no genuine enjoyment? From the screenshots you provided, she appeared to be very open and interested in it and would be the ones bringing up how she”s horny….sorry if I sound ignorant I genuinely am asking)

🧡

You're honestly making some really great points here And yea I don't doubt she could be regretting it, especially with how things turned out now, but clover and I genuinely thought she was 100% on board and did our best to make sure of that, we made her more than aware that she wasn't forced into anything at all

In terms of the PDF her friend wrote, He's actually reached out to clover and I to apologize and express his regrets for writing it in the first place, according to him it was written the way it was because mel had (and still has) nothing to prove or disprove anything, so the doc was essentially entirely written according to her opinion/feelings I'm still formulating how I feel about the apologies I've received but I do think he took enough accountability and clearly regrets it Think ab that what you will

[wetcatspellcaster]

Do you have any writing tips for newbie fic writers? Your descriptions are gorgeous. Thank you for pieces BTW, it's my favorite 'piece' of writing ❤️

hi anon, thank you for the kind words!💞💞 I'm flattered that I'm someone that you'd think to ask this question, so I'll do my best to answer! I've put my response beneath a keep reading cut to prevent it being a long post :)

I wasn't sure how to interpret this question, so I'll focus on 'technical' (?) tips mostly. Hope any of them help, in some small way!

my main tip to new fic writers is: write, first and foremost, for yourself, and to feed yourself. I've seen this perspective get put through the disk-horse ringer of late, so take it or leave it, or take it with as much of a pinch of salt as you need. But truly, from the bottom of my heart and from my position of sudden newfound popularity, this is the most important lesson I was ever given and so I have to say it. Popularity is not guaranteed. Even a popular fic will have haters and people who think it objectively sucks, and the readers who like you will never be fully pleased with what you've delivered. This could all be very depressing and cause an author to lose motivation.... if you make it the criteria for success in the first place. If you make the criteria for success your own happiness (or perhaps the happiness of you and a few close pals), providing yourself with what you, specifically, want to see, you will probably want to keep writing regardless of all other factors. Produce fics that you want to reread when you need comfort, when you are sick, and when you want to see your blorbos exactly the way you want them. This will make any fic worthwhile to you, regardless of stats, and prevent you from writing things that will suffer if your heart isn't in it! (this doesn't preclude gift fics/prompts! sometimes your heart can be 100% in providing food for others. find your key motivators, and feed that - a healthy amount - if you're trying to get into writing as a hobby!)

Now, onto my writing tips! I don't consider myself an expert and these are more lessons that have helped me, specifically, to improve my writing. But maybe something in here will be of use!

Bc you say you like descriptions... I tend to go into detail only when it's an essential thing that needs to be described. Leave wider details for readers to fill in with their own beautiful mind-palaces, and this gives you permission to go ham on what matters. What is it that matters? maybe it's a piece of the environment (say, a soul jar) or maybe it's just how hot one part of your ship is, in their hot clothes or out of them. If you focus on the important stuff but leave the rest to background, this not only creates a good balance of action to description, but it also shows the reader what they should prioritise in the scene.

I also google '[WORD] synonyms' a lot, for descriptions specifically. Which seems like it might be condescending advice, but it both helps you find different words if you're worried you're repeating yourself, and sometimes confirms that yes. You are using the best word actually, as you were.

Get a good balance of complex/simplistic words, as well as a good balance of complex/simplistic sentences. Sometimes you need a flowery description, sometimes you just need to state explicitly what is happening or the way things are. Tone will shift depending on your balance of these two things, so test the waters and see what works for you!

If you feel like you've written too much dialogue, the answer is probably no, you haven't written too much dialogue - for fic specifically. Most people are reading fic bc they want their faves to interact more. You are giving them more interaction and they will probably love it.

If you find phrases you like in the books/fic you read, it isn't plagiarism to use them so long as you recontextualise them. I'm certain I've used other people's words multiple times, particularly for my descriptions/imagery, and this is totally ok so long as the context is original. If you're worried, or its a whole sentence/interaction you like, examine the sentence/interaction and work out why you like it so much. Is it the sentence structure? Is the character dynamic? Is it the way the kiss plays out? Take the things you find sexiest in other people's writing and find ways to incorporate it into your own work!

I proofread by reading aloud. Yes, I sound mental and unhinged. My cats are worried about me. But this not only helps you catch mistakes, it helps to test the flow of a sentence! If you're ever worried a sentence is too long/a line of dialogue doesn't sound in character, read it aloud! This will help you work out if it's flowing or not, and if it isn't then you'll get some clues as to why!

Don't be afraid to take risks, if you want to take risks! This can apply to anything: being brave enough to put in a joke you're not sure people will find funny, describing something in a way you're worried people will find weird, tackling something from a perspective or POV that you find challenging. This may be a more intermediate tip, but you can start with small risks, and experimenting helps you find your writing voice! Taking risks makes your writing unique :) and I can't explain how much better my writing has gotten since I gave myself specific challenges. You will not get it perfectly write 100% of the time (there are some parts of Pieces that are weak compared to other parts) but it will always help you improve.

[rarilight]

3, 14, 15, 17, 22, 23, 24, 26, 32, and 35 for the fanfic author ask game?

BLESS U FOR SO MANY,,, 3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

My go-to answer is Crimson Lips just as a longform story. Short-form, uhhhhh.... Maybe Simulations?? I'm very happy with that one every time I reread it. Oh, but also In Everything But Name... I think those three are some of my best work for sure.

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

I've stayed practically the same except that, in regards to shipping, I used to read mostly M/F and now I basically only read F/F lmao

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

Surprisingly, no. As much as I need validation from others, it is INCREDIBLY difficult to get me to write something if I don't believe or like the core concept, so I usually always end up going for what makes me happy.

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

None..... all my fics are great and deserve all the praise they get.....

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

A few years ago, I really admired an artist who I found out loved TEL, and that was a wild day for me for sure. Beyond that, not really? It's mostly because, for years, I barely ever left the RariTwi circle in Fimfic, which itself consisted of... 12 of us... at most... with me being the most prolific, so I never had a 'senpai' in that respect.

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

I can't possibly pin it down!!! I'm very fortunate that so many people earnestly love my work, so it would be incredibly difficult to try and find which is the nicest review because there's so many lol

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

It was for Crimson, and was coming from someone I, at the time, considered a friend. It was INCREDIBLY BAD FAITH, and probably one of the worst reviews I'll have in my entire life. I definitely think they meant it, but they were very very wrong for it, it was in such bad faith.

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

Probably my prose, because it's the thing I'm most insecure about? Beyond that, I'm always very chuffed to have my character writing praised.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

Writing Rarity feels more natural and is easier to me than breathing at this point. She is probably the one thing in my writing I am always 100% confident I did right and did very well.

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

I don't actually ship them romantically in the fic itself, but PinkieLuna is TEL's dark horse lmao

thank you for all the questions!

[goldenkamuyhunting]

hi ! i just finished golden kamuy and loved it so much , im not sure if youve written or spoken about this already but, i noticed that ogatas whole backstory and overall story arch has a lot of elements of nature vs nurture. i just thought it was really interesting and would love to hear your input

Welcome in the GK World!

I did wrote about it in the past, as I used to share your idea, Ogata is the way he is because his life took a certain turn. In short he's a man shaped by his own experiences, same as Tsukishima, same as Sugimoto, same as Koito, same as Asirpa.

And in Ogata's case it would have been even more interesting because Ogata's life could have taken a completely different course if his father hadn't abandoned his mother and had raised him with love the way he had with Yuusaku.

However... this might not have been Noda's intention.

When Noda tosses at us Usami's past, he seems to want to toss at us a man who's the way he is not due to his experiences or Tsurumi's manipulation but simply because he was born that way.

And with all the talking about Ogata being capable to feel guilt because his parents loved each other for a fleeting moment (which actually has no basis in reality) and him merely doing what he did out of a mistaken belief and not out of the way he was raised Noda muddled things making hard to understand which was his point.

I do prefer to think characters are the way they are due to nurture, because especially in a litteral work for me there's little interest if it's all nature and nurture didn't cause them to evolve in a certain way.

I want the story, the part of the story that's their own personal story, to impact of them and cause their own evolution or involution.

I think it's possible to see Ogata has the result of this, as the sum of his own (very negative) experiences, and this is something that makes him interesting. However at this point I'm not 100% sure anymore this was Noda's intention, he might have gone for a person who had flawled beliefs and made flawled choices regardless of his own experiences so that, even if his circumstances were to be different, nothing would really change.

Hard to say and with how I found the ending of GK in general and Ogata in particular overall unsatisfying I've to admit, to my shame, I've lost most of my interest into trying to dig into it.

Thank you for your ask and sorry if my reply will seem unsatisfying to you. While in the past I used to talk a lot about this topic... now I'm not really sure anymore what the author intend and so I prefer to let everyone free to chose their answer.