#....If it isnt too big a bother I think I might do another one. for Mel. bc i had a lot of fun w this

[etherealangell1]

Bakugo Headcannons

|дﾟ)ﾉ Most of these headcannons are not mine and I do not take credit for all of them. But I just remembered reading them from many different platforms, so credit to the people who did think of most of these!

IF he has a crush on you ೃ⁀➷

● At first, he definitely would recognize that his perception of you had changed. He wouldn't label it as a crush though, he'd assume whatever he was feeling towards you was a distraction from becoming no.1, and try to forget you'd been crossing his mind lately.

● Was genuinely confused as to why you stood out in the first place even though you fit in with the rest of the class.

● If ignoring whatever it was he felt about you didn't work, he'd then try to push you away. When you two talk he'll brush you off and act more irritated. It would bother him if his attempts at dissolving his sudden thoughts of you weren't working. After talking with Kirishima, he would refuse to accept that he had a crush on you.

● He would start picking you as a training partner to try and find out why he likes you.

● He would be hyper aware of what he says around you and what he does. He doesn't want give away that he likes you on accident. He would rather die.

● I think he would be slightly annoyed if another person was hitting on you. He likes you because you're strong, and he not only views the other person as a distraction for your potential, but as a threat to him.

It's not like he was gonna make a move anytime soon, but he's been realizing you've been occupying his mind most of the time and being with somebody else just annoyed him, and he hated it.

● Bakugo would definitely wish things could go back to the way they were. He didn't know how to define nor deal with his emotions in this type of way, making his life a lot harder.

● He would want to know more about you, so he knows he doesn't have a 'crush' on a weird extra. but would refuse to call himself a stalker after he found most of your social media's (by himself) because he's not a obsessed extra. But he was curious about you nothing special.

● If you two ever did become friends, he would defend you. He can't have some lame extra disrespecting one of HIS friends. What does that say about him? He wouldn't make it a big deal in front of people, but he'd scare anybody who was rude to you into apologizing on their knees.

● He is not gonna treat you any better or any worse. He won't purposefully go out of his way to be mean or rude to you, like if he has to hand you something, he's not gonna throw it at your head. He'll hand it to you but still mumble about how annoying u are and that u better not get used to it.

● He's not gonna try and beat you to a pulp in training because he has some sort of feelings for you. He'll be a total show off, and when he's training with you he'd give you the same type of fight he would give his other classmates.

● And he will not immediately soften up to you or cry in front of you. Bakugo has too much pride, and he cares about his reputation. IF you two are close enough, he might have a rare vulnerable moment with you. "But he's cried in front of izuku!' You are NOT izuku. Izuku is a whole nother story.

● He won't hate you even more unless you give him a reason too, and if that's the case then he'll probably lose whatever tiny feelings he might have for you.

● Yes, he'll act more irritated by you, but he's not gonna have any actual hate towards you just because HE started feelings things for you. It'd be silly if he blamed you for his emotions, that's weak extra crap.

● He'll be annoyed and aggravated that he cant figure out and control his emotions, his anger isnt because of you, it's because he doesn't understand nor like the emotions he's suddenly aware of that he has for you.

● He won't hate it when you talk. The sound of your voice won't make him wanna take a swan dive. But he will act like he doesn't care one bit about what you're saying, but he will secretly take in whatever you're saying.

● Bakugo will not get offended or jealous at how strong you are. if anything, he'll find it attractive, that's why he likes you in the first place. if you were weak, you wouldn't even cross his mind the way you have been.

● During training, he won't change and cooperate just because of you. He'll try to outshine others like usual and be super annoying unless he literally has to work together to win. He's not changing his style because of you.

● He is going to give you an equal fight, maybe even give it all he's got on you. if he didn't see any potential in you, he wouldn't have liked you in the first place

● He knows you (and many others) found his personality annoying, and personally he never really cared about others opinions. but now that he likes you, whenever he sees you roll your eyes at one of his tantrums. he'll only feel even more angrier and embarrassed. But since he's stubborn he'll only double down on his behavior.

● If you ever decided to ask him out, he'd reject you because you beat HIM to it, and he's just that petty. but IF he asked you out and you rejected him, he'd insist until you said yes. And if you didn't he'd never talk to you again out of embarrassment.

● He will want you to find him attractive. He doesn't want you to be disgusted by him because he's aware that sometimes he acts like a rabid animal. He won't always try to be nonchalant

● He's a very honest person. He won't lie to you or anybodies face. even if he accepts that he likes you, he will want you to become better, he wouldn't wanna keep you in the dark about something.

●He be switching up sometimes. If he ever forced himself to try and have a conversation with you and it goes well, the next moment he's yelling at you for something stupid. Because why the hell is he trying so hard to conversate with you? But he can't help it, he'll subconsciously plan what he's gonna say to you and hates when it doesn't go his way. Denki got in his way? Boom! No more Kaminari.

● It's already cannon that he is SO nosy. God forbid you do something embarrassing thinking your ever alone.

● When you say something he thinks is funny, he forces himself not to laugh so he seems nonchalant? he doesn't know why he does this (he thinks his laugh is horrendous)

● Gets super mad if he's going out of his way to impress you and someone's else distracts you. 1. why is he trying to impress you and 2. His attempts were for nothing because when he turned around you were talking to denki, and that made him feel silly.

● If you playfully tell him to shut up, he might take it literally if he can't tell. He wants you to like him, because why should he be the only one 'suffering' because of his emotions. He's secretly worried about what you think of him.

● If you didn't listen to his every command during training or a mission he would be annoyed, but excited because your giving him a challenge, a reason to prove how good he is. But if you did listen to him when he bossed you around he would probably end up also listening to you during those moments as well.

● if he EVER gives you advice and you didn't take it. don't ever expect it again.

● His encouragement would sound super backhanded and come across as more of an insult. if you were feeling nervous and he said something like " Quit being like these lame extras and go do something badass, or else I'll make you regret it!" but he's not insulting you.

● Is not a sweet talker. You'd think he's your biggest hater but really he just likes you. Which is why he's always finding ways to get your attention, usually indirectly like being a show off.

● He finally stopped ignoring you and accepted his crush on you. And you'd both get into arguments pretty often about the STUPIDEST things.

●.When he feels butterflies around you, he'd immediately walk away. He HATES the butterflies and always grumbles about them, complaining about lunch rush being a terrible chef or whoever was cooking his meal that day.

● He accepted that you've been worthy enough for him to have feelings for you. and he'd hype himself up, cause what reason would there be to not like the future no.1 hero? but on the inside he's scared you probably don't like him, because most of your interactions are him brushing you off and backhanded comments, or petty arguments.

● Will try to stand out more around you for some reason to impress you. he knows he's the best, but he wants to make sure you know it.

● If he ever studders around you, he'd start yelling at you to shut up, and then go blow Denki up.

● He'd try so hard to be non-chalant around you, but fails 2 minutes later after throwing a yelling fit. He stopped trying when he realized you didn't seem to mind his yelling.

● Will try to do nice things for you but make it seem like he's begrudgingly doing you a favor, and that your just slowing him down.

● Would call you a lot more mean nicknames instead of just extra. not teddy bear, but a nickname he made up relating to your features. Like Kirishima is shitty hair for example.

● He is not changing his sleeping schedule just so he can stay up with the class and play Mario cart with you

● He'd threaten the life of anybody who caught onto his feelings for you, but there wasn't much he could do when even Mr. Aizawa noticed (was he that obvious?)

● Would lie awake thinking of things to get you out his mind, like insulting you for some mistakes you made. It didn't work because he knew you learned from them and got better unlike a weak extra.

● If you couldn't defend yourself he wouldn't do it for you. but if you didn't CARE to defend yourself but he know you could, he'd go threaten the life of whom was disrespectful or simply pissed all over your name or something.

● Once he learned your favorite food, he made it often but denied any accusations towards him when you said it was your favorite. Even once said it was his favorite and you copied him.

● wouldn't make any sort of move on you

● wouldn't want anything sexual with you during his time at U.A. he probably wouldn't even wanna date you until he graduated. His focus is entirely based on becoming better, training, and becoming no.1

● He started being distracted by his feelings for you, so if he messed up even a little bit. Automatically your fault

● He if you ever slacked off he would start to slowly lose feelings if your behavior wasn't changing.

● A compulsive liar, he makes up shit to be funny and then denies it when you say "really?" but he doesn't lie about anything that's actually true.

IF you were dating ೃ⁀➷

● I highly doubt he would even consider relationships until he graduated from U.A. even if he did during highschool, I'm sure the relationship would end faster then it started.

● he'd be very hesitant in opening himself up to the fact you both weren't platonic anymore

● he would need a minute to get uses to the dynamic switch.

● he also wouldn't hide your relationship, he isn't afraid of other peoples opinions or judgment. he wouldn't have gotten with you if he was ashamed of you or wanted you to be asecret. If you were dating it would mean you were important to him.

● He also would be less bothered about you knowing things he kept secret from everyone else.

● His boundaries would be non negotiable, he expects you to follow his boundaries just as he would yours.

● He'd be very protective over you. Dating you means he's come to terms that your strength matches up to him or falls closely behind his. If someone ever mistreated you (not including training etc) then he wouldn't hesitate to fix it.

● would never say "I love you" or anything that cheesy if you said it to him. But he would acknowledge it by nodding or a look of appreciation. Though he would likely say it if there was an emergency or you truly just needed to hear it from him.

● He would ask for your opinions more then anyone else's. and would reluctantly accept any corrections you had if he could understand why you'd said it.

● He'd be okay with you being in his personal space, most comfortable with it further into the relationship

● He's not gonna half ass it if he ever does start dating you. Because that would mean he's a slack off and he was wasting his time, so yes he would put effort into it... in his own way.

● arguments would be very one sided with him, if you had an issue with anything he was doing he'd yell at you or dismiss you without realizing it mightve been a genuine issue for you but he would try to fix whatever it was as long as it was too grand and went against his standards

● Is a man of his actions. He needs to apologize? he'd rather do it with his actions, he knows by now he isn't great with words at all and would probably mess things up further.

● He wouldn't be controlling in a unhealthy sense, but he would keep tabs on what your doing most of the time. he'd likely have your schedule memorized.

● Rarely, he'd let you stay near him as he's working on his pro hero gear. He's picky on who gets to see, and he likes to keep certain aspects of his designs hidden for his own advantage, but your an exception.

● he is amazing at noticing tiny details and changes in your atmosphere. He'd be able to tell if something was up.

● He would have to trust you of course to even consider dating you. Sometimes he'd get annoyed at how easily confident he was in your words, how well he listened to you and barely questioning things.

● He can be very level headed when it matters. Instead of act on impulse with you, he'd be careful when he's expressing his emotions or yours that he doesn't deal well with.

● he won't lower his standards for you. He'd expect you to uphold yourself without relying on solely him, if you couldn't do that he'd end the relationship that quick.

● He wouldn't discard your personal interests, even if he believed some were dumb, he'd listen to you talk about them. Although sometimes he'd tune you out if it was something he couldn't for the life of him understand.

● Would be honest if you did something gross or disgusting.

● You would not be the most important thing in his life, though he would hold you at a higher level of importance compared to other things.

● His focus would never move away from being the best, but he'd make sure you were also involved in his life as he aspired to become no.1 If he was busy, he'd allow you to watch or train with him.

● most likely wouldn't initiate any intimacy like forms of touching until he got a little older or of yall had been dating for a long while.

● No, he's not gonna call you baby or teddy bear. He will not catch himself being cringe. he'll most likely still call you idiot or dumbass like everyone else, but sometimes he means it in a caring way.

● He won't change his personality for you, he won't randomly try to he different with his humor to make you laugh. he'll say his usual backhanded comments that are unintentionally funny. Whenever he does say something funny, he'll make sure to not laugh to seem cool.

● He won't try to be quieter either, he'll be just as loud it's part of who he is. he tried being quieter and almost had a stroke.

● But he isn't an asshole, if he knows you have a headache or your genuinely having a bad day he'll tone it down a bit.

● It's practically cannon that he's obserbative, so if you dint tell him he'll probably find out. And most of the time he can tell when your feeling anxious or if your angry at him.

● Bakugo won't believe you should settle for how he is and not try to be better around you. he wont have a "she's lucky I even noticed her" type mentality. you won't catch him lacking, but one day he might look at himself and be like "why the hell am I doing this?"

● He won't be horrible to you, like he's not gonna forget to buy you gifts on holidays or important dates like your birthday. He'll get you a gift that's well thought out and one you'll like, once again he's very obserbative and took time to learn what you liked.

● He also won't disrespect you by making fun of your trauma or things that he knows make you extremely uncomfortable. He's not a monster. He won't outloudly say you can speak to him about it. He assumes you know he's available. He also won't gush all over you when you do, but he'll let you know he's listening. But if you're not that close yet, don't bombard him with personal crap.

[ppnuggiexxx]

Helloo may I bother you for your ratings on the whb demons you think have the best head game?

oooo yess !! <33 ill give some of my insight ,, though i think my opinions may differ from most ! these got kinda long :0 so the rest are under the read more !! ^^ tysm for asking :)) ,, i kinda did it on who from each nation gives best head . idk if this was meant to be a general ask or an actual request 😭😭but if its a request feel free to resend it with characters you might want :3 !!

from gehenna ,, i think leraye and astaroth would be the best with head . leraye is more on the eager side and desperate to please ,, happy to do something good for you and yearning to make sure youre pleasured . the piercing on his tongue would at extra stimulation ,, and his horn is perfect for grabbing and moving him to where you want him .

astaroth is more experienced in the subject ,, interested in re-enacting scenes of those he affiliates himself with . scenes from books often add oral scenes between the main characters ,, hearing their voice read out the scene for him . he’s quick to fulfill the other character ,, treating his partner of the time just how the character would in the book .

from hades i think foras would be best at it overall ,, with barbatos being a close second . foras wants to please you ,, more than happy to . he’d be jealous if it were someone else you were asking ,, unless it be leviathan . in his h-scene we got to see some of it ,, half invisible and using his tongue to prep you . the chains on his horns also are great for grabbing and redirecting wherever you want him to ,, making angling him up more to lick at your clit or move him down to focus more on the rest instead .

from tartaros mammon and valefor would be the best . bimet only falls into the category should you give him a pretty penny for it ,, then we may see what he gave us in his h-scene . for mammon ,, he wants you to want him ,, to yearn for him and have the need to covet him to yourself . hes happy to do what his master wants ,, if it means you wont hold back on your desires .

valefor was more on the softer and gentler side of sex in his h-scene (or i think from when i last read it) . despite knowing mammon has an eye for you ,, he cant help but want to please you himself . he wants you to be the one to come to him ,, to want him to give you pleasure . and he’ll gladly drop to his knees and lay on his back ,, whichever you prefer ,, should you come to him instead .

from abyssos ,, i think they all would be good should they try in a way . not to say theyre not good ,, but bael is overworked most the time and when he gets the chance to enjoy time with you ,, he may fall asleep fast and be sloppy with his oral . stolas has a big mouth a lot to say when you ask him to give you oral ,, but does it nonetheless but with a lot of extra steps (him having a lot to say about the situation) . beelzebub isnt there most the time but when you do he may forget if you planned it at a later time . unless its right then and there ,, he may not be able to help himself but be rough and take a few bites into your thighs ,, hard enough to draw blood . he may get so into it he won’t let you rest until all you can do is have empty orgasm after another . pussy game so strong it makes mfs cannibals 😔👊 and amon ,, he would probably be your safest bet . naberius if you catch him on a good day too ,, being part dog does have it perks at times . <3

for paradise lost morax would be best . say im biased all you want (might be 😿) but he would be the best especially if youre not used to hell’s intensity yet . he could walk you through ,, actually communicate what youre both okay with doing and what feels best for you . though i hope you dont mind his face being covered in partially bloody bandages for the most part . he’ll remove enough to make room for his tongue but thats the most he’ll do . he’s a little worried to scare you off with how mangled his face may be ,, how scarred and charred and broken it may be under his bandages . <//3 though he’ll be gentle and bring you a wonderful orgasm ,, and more if you’re wanting it .

for niflheim ,, beleth would be a good choice tied with andrealphus . beleth is more nicer than belphegor when it comes to pleasure . while belphie would rather sit back and take ,, beleth knows the struggles of being on the opposite side . he’ll be nice about it or rough depending on how you want him to be . he could bring you to an intense orgasm through edging and stimulation to the spots you feel pleasure through most ,, or he could hold your hips down and drive you insane from how many hes already given you .

andrealphus likes to touch you and feel you . he may be blind but he doesnt let it stop him from giving you pleasure however you wish . he takes his time with you ,, going slow and wanting to pleasure you thoroughly . his hands wander you body ,, trying to find whats best for you and what you dont care for . though he knows to focus on the clit for optimal stimulation ,, unless you get more from being fingered . he’ll slip his long and dainty fingers inside and massage them at the top where youll feel most pleasure from .

for abbadon ,, i truly will be biased but i fear ronove would take the crown <3 hes truly so fine i need him carnally 😕 but listennnn ,, i mentioned it in earlier oral hcs involving him and ill mentiomed it again ,, the struggle of seeing him give oral with the ball gag still on would be so fun . it’ll bump into your clit ,, his drool and tongue trying to peak out from the gag to make for messy oral . unless you take it off him and let him give oral that way (nakey) . sitting on his face would be better unless you want to ravaged ,, though that wouldnt be so bad either . he’s like andrealphus where he takes his time though his is more so to edge you through yours to bring you to an intense orgasm that will surely fulfill you lust and his curiousity . he wonders how long until you tap out from him .

[arcreactordreams]

"Im so sorry to bother you at home"

Starring: Nishinoya Yuu

Sypnosis: He has been trying to hit on you subtly for quite a few time, but he has grown a little more determinate now.

Request: Hello! Could you please write a Nishinoya x female reader where she’s seen by everyone as a serious, menacing person, when in reality she’s really just socially awkward and dense? Nishinoya tries hitting on her doing the usual tricks like flowers and bears and pick up lines but she’s just confused. Finally he just becomes more direct with her and honest and slowly she falls for him too? I’m sorry if it’s a bit too detailed and it’s okay if you don’t do this haha it’s been at the back of my head for a while

A/N: This one was so cute to write!, i tried to be really quick making this but the inspiration came to me like a thunder and here we are. Remember i use she/her in this fic.

Nishinoya Yuu. The thunder of the Karasuno team, always so energetic and kind, oftenly called delusional by his feelings towards Kiyoko, little did they know that it wasent a crush, he admired her and by that her personality and how she acted; But he liked you, he admired you and wordshipped the very floor you stepped on.

His tries were almost pathetic, sure he could tell Kiyoko anything btu it was different when it was you, he shacked and mumbled like a little kid inlove everytime he crossed any words with you. Everyone could tell but some way you didnt; Not even the flowers he gave you, little gifts he made for you with his own hands (which were a cute detail since he isnt pretty good with manualities) But from time to time his friends started to see that there was no response tho this little acts.

"She doesn't like you and she's acting like that to decline your feelings nicely" He heard one of them said, his heart ached but then Hinata spoke answering to the previous person, his words were filled with determination and his obvious spark that always bringed hope to everyone. "And what if she isnt?, she could see it was a friendly gesture. Nishinoya haven't talked about his feelings openly to her"

Hinata had a point, Sugawara and Daichi agreed, yes Nishinoya and his friends could think those hints were obvious enough to tell that he was completely head over heels inlove with you. But they know him as a friend and since pretty long time comparing to you; They weren't you and that meant they didnt feel or thinked like you.

He planned his confession, would you like something big? the whole school knowing?, No, it will make you agree by social pressure, Did you liked him enough to say 'Yes' without much people knowing? Oh God.

It was 6PM on a friday. He can remember it vividly, his steps were hard on the floor and his fingers were digging into his shirt and on the little box he held, his palms sweated and his face was red; He knocked at your door. After a few minutes you opened the door.

"Hey, im so sorry to bother you at home" he started as he saw you, his face blushed and his cologne was subtle as always. "I know that this might be hard but... I dont know what to say" he started panicking.

"I like you a lot" He finally stated after a sigh, his gaze fixated on the floor, the blush on his cheeks made him look heated, his breathing was heavy and his mind was longing and pleading for an answer.

"Are you being serious?" You spoke, a hidden tint of amusement in your voice, his feeling were glowing as he answered "Of course i am, why wouldnt i? i like you so much" He said as he took another step, reflecting his mind and then doing the opposite and stepping back, he didnt wanted to make the situation awkard, he just wanted to finally be totally sincere with you.

little did he know you liked him aswell, but oh lord he is the happiest man alive.

"Hey, i bringed this for you too" He said as he smiled at you, more confident and smug after your answer, handing you a little figure you have been longing to have since quite a few time. He buyed it for you since the first day you mentioned it but he decided to wait untill the ocation was perfect, and sure it was.

[elainsgirl]

This is no longer Feyre's trilogy, it's a spin-off series following different couples. You won't only get Archeron sisters. You’ll get other characters. Gwyn was focused on a lot in ACOSF for a reason. She is Azriel’s love interest in his book just like Yrene was for Chaol in Tower of Dawn. Gwynriel had significant setup in ACOSF. Elain was rarely anywhere to be seen. You do the math on who’s next.

This spinoff is about Feyres sisters and their journey, along with characters we have met in the og triology which, Gwyn was not a part off. The main point IS showing how Nesta/Elain are dealing with their new lives as well as exploring on side characters mass introduced in the og triology + expanding on her acotar lore.

The only two characters to have confirmed books: Nesta and Elain. The third book, has always been wish washy. You’d think if gwynriel was endgame then thats all 3 spinoff books sorted but clearly - going by Sjm’s interviews, thats not the case. A gwynriel/elucien story doesn’t fit a snow queen/swan lake retellings. Or what if the last book is a prequel? Something Mass showed interest in? I highly doubt Gwynnie will get a book instead of Elain.

Yh. Bcs she was a side character. A friend to Nesta. Acomaf/acowar had a lot of focus on Mor - was her book next? Nope. So the whole logic of “but gwyn was focused on in acosf!” Makes 0 sense, considering her role. “Azriel’s love interest” meanwhile, canonically Gwyn has showed 0 romantic interest in Az - literally blushed for Rhys and Az is wanting to beg on his knees for another woman. What a start to one of the worst love stories Mass will ever write.

Ffs, I cannot believe how hard gwynriels find it to understand tog & acotar are different series therefore formatted differently. Yrene was introduced then immediately woven into the plot with her pov. Gwyn was not connected to any plot aside from unknown powers that aren’t set up to be important currently, we have not even got her pov either. For a side thays big on interviews: The fact Mass herself said acofas ws the bridge between the new spinoffs and old series, yet Gwyn was no where in sight, says a lot about her importance, a lack of it. Don’t you think someome thats about to be such a main character would be introduced in acofas? Emerie was. We learn a lot about Em and her struggles just like Gwyn.

“Gwynriel had significant set up!”, lad. They’re not even canon LIs. Their attraction to each other is not confirmed. Neither main character notices or comments on anything between them nor do they pair Gwyn and Az in their minds/draw parallels between the two therefore

what set up. Do you understand what that is? How its done? I dont think you or any other gwynriel does.

Oh shall we do the math? K.

Feysands bonus -> talked about Elain = Elains book next, did not talk abour Gwyn.

Azriels bonus -> left Elriel seperated (mirrored Nessian), on a miscommunication, and on an almost kiss (parallel to many Massiverse couples) = Elains book + Azriels pov = elriel.

Sjm knew what A4 and A5, knew nothing about A6 as there where too many ideas -> logically proves it was always Nestas book, Elains book and the last Mass could decide later on. By acofas, the time of this newsletter, Mass would have known “gwynriel” would be A5 so immediately elucien would have to be A6…yet she confirmed to have left A6 opened. So clearly the last book isnt elucien. So again, by Fas she knew gwyn would be a protagonist in acotar 5 yet couldnt bother to introduce such a main character within FaS? The bridge book? Mhm ok.

The math isn’t mathing w Gwynriel. Might want to relook at your equation.

[glacierberries]

you've hit me with lucily so randomly, but I'm kinda into it😭😭 any headcanons on how would that happen? I bet it included Severus at some point and he regretted his existence when he understood what he'd done, but also went extra cunty. like "oh, you sure hate Mudbloods, Luci, weren't you judgemental as fuck on me for being friends with her?" and "so much for loathing the Dark Arts, right, Lily?". roast them burned, dear.

James would've died for sure, the only person who feels worse than James is poor Abraxas⚰️ And then his grandchild comes out as a REDHEAD⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ AND IS MISTAKEN FOR A WEASLEY🪦

AHAHAH IM GLAD U SEE THE POTENTIAL. abraxas feeling worse than james is SO SO REAL IM CRYYYING. having grandchildren that resemble weasleys is SO FUNNY such an indignity! if he hears about drinny hes going to die fr. speaking of. harry and draco are SIBLINGS NOW LMFAOO 😭😭😭😭

and james feeling absolutely miserable SO TRUE. thats MY JAM

for headcanons as to how it might happen hmmm . i wrote a fic premise a while ago and i added a bit to it AHSHDH i think in a no voldemort au where blood supremacy isnt that big of a thing, it'd go something like:

lets imagine lily actually has good friends in this au 💀😭. so it starts in 4th year, when james starts taking notice of lily and starts pestering her. and alot of the girls in her year already find james cute, so most of the girls in her house are either jealous of the attention she gets, while the other half want her to just start going out with her already. and lily doesnt know what to think. shes not like the other girl yknow 🙄💅 she thinks james is an arrogant toerag that messes up his hair just for attention ughh 🙄🙄🙄 and like... yeah.. he does bully people but thats. well thats not her problem yknow, doesnt use dark magic too so whateverr 😍😍😍.

but yes anyways, one evening, mary looks at her strangely. theyre both gossiping about something mundane when mary pulls out a thick book. lily looks closer to see that it's a bloodline book, that's about the pureblood families.

mary gives her a look, shes like, girl. that potter guy keeps bothering you, doesnt he? what do you think of it? and lily tells her that hmph! she'd neverrr ever even think of dating someone like that 😡😡😡 and mary gives her another funny look and lily snaps. she demands to know why mary's acting weird. and mary tells her that well hey, you've already got the attention of a rich, pureblood, popular guy, who'd probably end up being a jock. so you might as well get to know him. i meannn i was a little worried that you'd go out with that snape guy but uhm... hes not. well. he's not the- ok he probably fancies malfoy of all people.

and lily chokes on her spit. shes like WHATTTT hes 6 years older than us WTAF. and NO severus would neverr date a guy like malfoy. what the hell. hes not gay. IS HE??

and mary looks at her like shes an idiot. "lily, you do know you can just have silly crushes on older guys, right?" mary says, but lily's not listening because no, she cant quite wrap her head around what severus sees in lucius. so she grabs the book out of mary's hand and flips the page to the malfoy family tree. and she mentally runs through everything severus has so far told her about lucius and she doesnt get it. well, maybe it's cause he likes dark magic. and she gasps, because what if severus gets influenced by him!?

then mary clears her throat. and lily sheepishly hands her the book back. it turns out that mary had brought the book to show her that the potters were her safest bet at marrying into generational wealth. also because they were a light family.

lily wrinkles her nose in disgust. she was going to marry for love. not wealth.

she means to discard the thought and go to sleep, but now shes worried. and weirded out. no because what do you meann severus might like lucius. and why did that make her feel so grossed out. the last she ever heard of malfoy was when severus hung out with him to study together. and he'd wrinkled his pointy pale nose in disgust at her. he hasn't atleast, called her a mudblood to her face but she guessed that sentence ends with a 'yet'. she does not like this guy, and if mary did have a point that severus might actually like him, she would have to do all she can to get him away from sev.

and thus begins her hunt for information on one lucius malfoy.

a hogsmeade weekend comes, and she figures that sev still meets malfoy for fun. so she decides she'll go with him. and sev looks at her weord cause she never usually comes with him unless he asks but he doesnt mind. he does warn her that lucius is coming and lily smiles sweetly and is like, yes yes i knoww.

and so they meet up for the weekend and lucius sees lily and his whole mood sours and lily's just glaring at him the whole time 😭 both lucius and lily silently judge sev the while time they're there. like why does he still hang out with this muggleborn while lily's like i don't see what you see in him sev he sounds nasty. and worsee he likes dark magic.

but sev ignores them both and decides enough is enough and that they will just have to put up with each other. it doesnt end well obviously and lily ends up shouting at lucius while he just gives her a deadpan expression that conveys. "okay you little child." but he doesnt call her mudblood cause he know sev wont speak to him for a looong time and lily's trying to bait him into saying it. but he doesnt budge.

and shes not. stupid, she knows it's cause lucius doesnt want to lose sev but something inside her loosens. at least hes decent. she guesses. and so the weekend comes to an end and lucius doesnt spare her a glance.

his indifference infuriates her. and shes just baffled that sev puts up with this guy. so she starts taking drastic measures. she starts by introducing her gryffindor friends to severus. severus is appalled at first. like.. no way in actual hell would he isolate himself even further by mingling with gryffindors than he already does, would he? WRONG.

lily evans has a spine in this universe! so she catches severus when hes walking to classes. she also brings her friend group with her and both parties are mortified. because they would never want to be seen with each other. but they see that hes not a blood supremist and decide hes not so bad. he just needs a makeover.

it's christmas break. and usually, lily would go home to celebrate, but this time, she decides to stay because she wants to make sure severus doesnt go revert to his old habits of just hiding behind the other slytherins. and also because she doesnt want to see petunia for a bit 😒.

james decides to stay as well cause he hears lily's staying. sirius stays because james is staying. soo, during christmas break severus tries to avoid the gryffindor tower. lily is having none of it, though. what if he decides to owl malfoy again?? so she drags severus over to the gryffindor common room and seeing that james looks like he's going to punch severus, she yells at him. she explodes that if he ever wanted a chance at going out with her.

he'd have to be nice to severus. james of course, lies to her as he always does. and they have a truce for as long as lily is in the room with the both of them.

and so the break just continues like that, with lily trying to integrate sev into gryffindor culture. she even drags him to a quidditch practice match and makes him wear a gryffindor scarf. which she of course, takes a picture of and owls to malfoy. "he's MY friend too" the caption says, and severus is glaring at the camera in the photo.

and then lucius owls a photo of severus petting a peacock in malfoy manor. lily retaliates by sending him a picture of severus getting his hair braided by the gryffindor girls. lucius sends her a picture of him teaching sev how to drive a broom.

and this goes on for a WHILE ajshdhhd and severus finds out. SAFE TO SAY that hes APPALLED bro is regretting his life choices. he should have never introduced them to each other. lily and lucius are now both laughing AT him. TOGETHER.

and the worst part is that lily's now talking about how much she hates lucius and his shiny hair and his stupid posh accent and his slytherin-ness (excuse you lily) and his shark-like grin (what does that even mean) and severus is TIRED of it. hell, he'd take her complaining about james any day over this cause atleast they both hated james.

now that lily's with severus a lot more, (to trash-talk lucius) and because he has a better rep in gryffindor now, james is forced to back off a little because well. severus has real friends now. so james stops hounding her for now. but time flies by and it's their 5th year. the prank doesn't happen because as shocking as it is, sirius seems more interested in arguing with him over schoolwork or sending him dumb howlers to the slytherin table to annoy him. lily doesnt know what thats about. but james.. oh james is pissed. he's really fucking pissed at severus' existence (he always was) but now it's gotten even worse. and the worst part is that he cant do a thing about it because lily seems to always be with him. thats what lily tells herself anyway 💀. he also seems really irritated at sirius, but he doesnt show that in front of him of course.

and then theres news! there is news that narcissa black is getting engaged to rodolphus lestrange. narcissa, while being a distant friend, still invites severus and lets him bring a plus one. thats obviously lily. well. usually, lily would decline, because she hates stuffy pureblood culture, but shes been hearing rumours about lucius and narcissa being a thing, so for her to be suddenly get engaged to rodolphus is a surprise, so she just goes along for the fun of it. james would probably be there too and severus wont go if she wouldnt come along.

so they go and woww lucius is there too, politely mingling with the guests. he spots her and his face does a weird expression, as if hes trying not to laugh. and lily would be offended if she didnt remember that this was the first time she and lucius were in the same room since severus discovered that they'd been sending pictures of him to each other as a form of proxy war. so thats their little inside joke and they have a good evening. sirius is there too but he doesnt even glance at lily. james isnt there, which is actually a surprise. so theres no fights. lily sees narcissa but narcissa doesnt even glance at her, just like sirius, and it sours her mood terribly. so terribly that she ends up sitting in the corner.

she watches narcissa and rodolphus dance and shes suddenly struck with the realisation that shes surrounded by people she'd never even have considered surrounding herself with, a few months prior, all because she was nosey about lucius. she doesnt know what to think of him. he doesnt outright hate her, but he's also indifferent towards her. despite the few letters shes exchanged with him, he doesnt really seem to think that they have some kind of friendship.

and she feels bitter. well, she'd thought that maybe she'd have been able to stop sev from hanging out with him, but obviously thats never going to happen since shes the one that's come to an event just to see him but oh welll. until she hears someone clear their throat. she turns, and speak of the devil. it's lucius. he passes her a drink and she takes it. hes like oh what brings you here?

he looks nice, lily thinks, all neat and tidy with his hair in a pretty bow. hes very masculine but in a peacock way.

she likes it.

so she tells him that she came to keep severus company and also that she heard rumours about narcissa and him. lucius laughs about it. he reveals that what she heard was true, bellatrix was meant to wed rodolphus but then she decides to run off with some halfblood named tom riddle who was like 20 years older than her. and lily feels her eyebrows raise. she's like OH??

and lucius starts talking maddd shit about this tom guy and lily actually laughs. but then he sombres and says he actually kind of liked narcissa. and lily's internally like ew thats grosss i could neverrr. so she asks who hes going to wed and he raises his eyebrows and says lily's being incredibly forward and lily just laughs. they make small talk and severus joins them. hes all "well, well well! look who's having a civil conversation !" and lily and lucius snicker and then they just talk about random stuff and lucius tells them the scandelous affairs the purebloods have with each other and gossip and severus tells him his peacocks piss him off and they both start squabbling and lily's just grinning at the both of them.

then sirius spots them and moves to join them and obviously it ends in a fight and lily's good mood is ruined but before anything can get worse, andromeda joins them and mediates. lucius looks as relieved as lily feels. regulus is sulking in the corner as barty's yapping his ear off. evan is chatting up abraxas and so the evening ends on a slightly good note. then 6th year and 7th year go by and sev and lily stay good friends. the bullying almost tapers off to a full-stop, but apparently, james and sirius have a massive fight at around the end of 7th year and lily finds james alone at the common room one night before she realises this and james is asking her why she wont date him. and lily's like im not interested. james wont take that answer and rehashes that hes changed and that he doesnt target anyone anymore. hes angry about this for some reason but lily brushes it off and tells him she'll consider it and to give her a week to answer.

james acquiesces and leaves the next morning, she sees that james and sirius are sitting on the opposite sides of the table instead of together. remus is nowhere to be found and peter is eating toast right in the middle. woah whats up with them she asks severus later that day. severus shrugs. no idea, he says.

a week passes and seeing that james doesnt hex as many people as he used to, she decides to give him a chance and they become official. severus gives her a massive side-eye but doesnt say anything. they graduate and lily thinks shes living the dream. james is rich, hes nice enough. hes. kind of an asshole sometimes. but not to her so it doesnt matter yk.

then there comes a time for her to introduce james to her family and it goes terribly. absolutely horribly. shes left in tears by the end of it. so she crashes at severus' apartment all snotty and with her makeup absolutely ruined. but it turns out that severus isn't home. but the house isnt empty. lucius malfoy olens the door. theres a green streak on his cheek and hes holding a ladle. he raises his eyebrows as soon as he sees her. what happened to you?? he asks. and lily... lily bursts out laughing. his eyebrows raise so high it touches a strand of his hair. shes laughing so hard, she starts sobbing.

lucius looks perplexed and kind of shocked, so he gently pulls her by the elbow into the apartment, sits her down and gives her a glass of water. lily takes it gratefully and she sits in silence for a while, watching lucius stir a cauldron. it suddenly occurs to her that the last time she saw him was four years ago. hes taller, taller than james, a voice in her head supplies, and well, hes always been handsome but now shes really looking.

"when's the wedding?" she asks, seemingly out of nowhere. she heard he was engaged to andromeda, but there was no further news. lucius pauses, blinking into the cauldron. he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"you would laugh."

lily gasps, smiling a little. i'd never, she says. lucius says andromeda ran away with some muggleborn.

lily bursts out laughing. how unfortunate! and lucius stares her down. "see, i told you you'd laugh," he says. "sorry, sorry," she replies, still snickering. lily asks lucius what hes brewing for severus and lucius mentions a potion shes never heard of. lucius puts on a pair of severus' goggles and she stares. hes like really pretty unfortunately. he eventually asks why shes distraught and for some odd reason, she doesnt feel weird sharing the indignities james has put her through and lucius scoffs in disgust. lily finds herself feeling vindicated and her shoulders feel lighter than it has been in a while.

lily laughs a little as lucius starts badmouthing the potter family and she reaches out to wipe the green streak off of lucius' face and that is precisely the moment the door barges open and james storms inside. he sees lucius and he FREEEZES. like, full on fawking freezes. poor soul is so confused. he thought she'd be with severus but this is somehow even worse.

"good evening to you too, potter," lucius says, in-lieu of a reply.

lily already feels an imoending headache blooming at her temples.

james is like why tf is malfoy in snape's house?? and malfoy's like since when did i have to explain myself to yOU of all people?? and then james starts yelling at him and lily's tired of his bullshit and asks him to leave.

and just then, severus returns, holding a basket full of potion bottles. and he sees james in HIS apartment and loses his shit and starts yelling at james. james tries to get his wand but lucius disarms him and then james is shouting at both of them lily realises. finally. FINALLY that MAYYBEE james isnt that good of a person yknow? he kinda sucksss like absolute ass. hes trash.

so she breaks up with him right then and there. lucius raises an eyebrow in amusement and severus snorts. james goes deadly silent and leaves.

and then lucius asks both lily and severus if theyre both alright and severus laughs. best day of my life he says. he also tells her that she has a bad taste in men. oh no, lily thinks, i do have a bad taste in men, just not in the way severus means, she adds, silently staring at lucius who's already getting ready to leave.

lucius is about to get out through the door when she stops him.

"do you want to go out? for, like, ahm.. dinner or something?" lily blurts out.

severus makes a sound vaguely resembling a dying horse.

lucius blinks. lily grins at him, slightly maniacally.

fine, he says curtly. he sets a date and time and leaves.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT???? severus screams as soon as he leaves

lily collapses on the couch and giggles.

so anyways, they do go out on a few dates. abraxas threatens to disown him but lucius is tired of his arranged marriage attempts running away with halfbloods and muggleborns. it's his turn now.

and besides, lucius is a better businessman than abraxas, so he manages to double their wealth and even abraxas can't say anything. severus is regretting every decison hes made in his entire life as he sees lily and lucius walk hand-in-hand but at least they stopped BOTHERING him with their angst and complaining. he takes every chance he gets to rub it in their faces that they used to despise each other. lucius and lily have a little laff about it and they live happily ever after!

one fine morning, james potter wakes up to read in the papers that lucius malfoy and lily evans are engaged.

he promptly faints and dies.

everyone lives happily ever after.

(except abraxas. someone save him.)

[hoshikumas]

Phanbus 23. not a summary just some moments

It's a Nika chapter mainly. I guess we see him in his 1st year, and he's leading rather simple life. His self-assessment is 80/100 and he's got looks, smarts, no problems with girls.

Well the point is that he doesn't seem to care about his surroundings lol. Not caring about his and his gf 1-month anniversary or complaining to himself that he's only doing the bare minimum of socialization for the sake of it. He thought he was 'good' at this 'life' stuff.

Then he overhears THE (ex) delinquent usami joining the student council and figures why not....it could look good on his record while going into uni and he isnt joining any clubs anyways (not interested).

Usami is already vary lol?? also big boobs comment and gouto lamenting its yet another dude.

Ichimiya leaves quite an impression on Nika.

An impression of someone who is 100/100, flawless person.

Back to the present and Ichimiya is worried about Sports Day and most importantly, the Clubs' Relay Race....yeah i mean just look at him lol.

I like it how throghout the chapter Nika is shown to be observant of others. He's always doing what Ichimiya needs without Ichi even having to say it. As long as he's not with Usami, Nika is pretty mature and reliable. Nika also senses that something is bothering Ichi but Ichi doesn't want to admit it lol.

Meanwhile everyone needs mogari's cool spiritual powers for the festival but they back off the moment they learn mogari will only use them for his phanbus club sake.

A boy also approaches Mogari to help with his uncle, who passed away while jogging on the coast and doesnt seem to realize that so the boy asks Mogari to tell him he died if he sees him. He gives some treats for Yokemaru as payment.

We also learn that Mogari's physical form is top notch and he can run on the same level as the captain(s) of the field and track club.

Thats where phanbus meets ichimiya training in secret (and the uncle trying to help him?).

I really like how there's the whole story unveiling in bg haha.

So it comes that Mogari will help Ichi out (lol the way Ichi worded it!! Relax man)

jelaous nika kun

well i got tired half way okay........don't have the chapter on hand atm but nika did pose the question of why Ichi didn't want to rely on the council about his problems, everyone is there for him...which led to my favorite moment, with Ichi saying that he didnt want to show that digraceful side of him to anyone (=his true self) and Nika replying that 'someone who is striving to be their best self cannot be disgraceful'. I think Ichi will be gradually opening up more, good for him. There was another of Nika's flashbacks from his 1st years showing that he did notice Ichi being troubled. Really says something that it was Nika offering to help somehow because he noticed Ichimiya looked tired (And Ichi saying that it was the first time someone approached him with such words >>> no one ever noticed how heavy his burden was and everyone just took his ideal president image for granted).

Also the student council did win the race bc Ichi is an aura farmer yelling at Mogari 'don't dare to run ahead of me' which caught Mogari off guard lol. So Ichi won just barely.

The President was super cool!!

Also Nika-paisen nickname from Mogari is still so funny to me. It's gonna be usami senpai and nika paisen.

Might be missing quite a lot of things but once again phanbus chapters really feel so long lol...

What i really like about phanbus is how linear it is when it comes to timeline. we getting the start of the school year. summer vacation. summer festival. sports day. Safe to assume we'll be getting christmas/new year/valentines themed chapters too.

[kindred-spirit-93]

vent ahead

drinking lukewarm chamomile tea. forgor we ran out of sugar so i used honey (that tastes wonderful). bad idea. added monkfruit sugar thing and its okayer now. tastes like diluted petal juice w traces of honey but its whatever. did eat some spinach pastry tho so we good.

tis 5am i am wide awake and writing a vent post lol. not feeling fanastic and the timing couldnt be any less incovenient i dont fancy being ill rn but i think my ignoring my health has finally turned around to smack me in the face. either that or im over reacting to something very short term.

tempted to stay in denial but im the one losing here. dont want to take action thats scary. it shouldnt be scary and itll only bring more suffering i know but id rather not. i will but i wont

i know ive been ignoring my gut issues for years. idk why my first instinct to anything is either deny or downplay. who hurt me so bad i have trust issues with my own body?

have been considering a certain diagnosis for almost exactly a year now. the prospect of hving a chronic illnesses scares me more than it should i think. idk if the fear is related to my being a med student, being silly over something not that big of a deal, a secret third thing, or all of the above.

i love blood tests i dont mind them. i dont however like any other (invasive) test and would again rather punt myself into the sun before accepting the inevitable. the irony hurts more than my stomach aches lmao. im aware. maybe too much so.

starting to think i may have anxiety (lol). is it warranted? am i valid in my fears? my brain says yes my mind says no. the dissonance will give me a headache, the last thing i need right now.

forgot where i was going with this post. my tea is cold now as are my hands. dehydrated af and have a long day (week, month, year..) a head of me. this isnt the time for being any kind of ill

i dont like being a hypocrite. preaching about taking care of oneself and seek out medical assistance/ a consultation or confirmation etc instead of wasting away worrying & not doing anything about it, only to turn around & contradict my own beliefs. i hate it. i hate me too.

dont know if ill post or delete this. its a bit too much for my liking.

so many feelings. so much not knowing. when i go to therapy (soon) what terrifies me is that ill have built so much on my own assessment and predicitions i might get told i was completely wrong and totally fine just being dramatic or excessive. what then? when my walls have not only been taken down but the bricks are being thrown at me too

stress stress stress. we learn over and over again how damaging stress is to the body and yet we all know nothing is going to happen to ease it. that its only going to get worse from here in fact. its funny in the way that hurts. in the ways that hurt.

my brain feels heavy and light at the same time. a fog refuses to settle. if i could wrap myself in blankets and stay under the covers forever with my plushies till i become a fossil i wouldnt mind. i dont know whats bothering me. what my brain is filing and sorting through behind the curtains of consciousness. but its bothering me

going to get up and pray in a minute. some peace of mind will dull the pain of existence for a little while. a solitude within a solitude. im the only one awake. biding my time till the eternal solitude.

might make another cup of tea. no honey this time.

[first-only]

Can I say something that might possibly be a 'hot take'?

I really don't like the rise of the whole 'He would not fucking say that' meme (and a lot of its variations). I know it's probably a joke (I'm too autistic to tell how serious people are with it lol.), and I can understand being annoyed when someone writes a character OOC, but OOC-ness is not really that big of a deal. Don't like, don't read, you know

I feel like it's also going to cause a lot of paranoia in fanwork creators, and I don't like that. And I should know, it's caused some paranoia in me (even though I've always been of the opinion that OOC-ness doesn't matter, in fact I celebrate it, just let people have fun. Despite all this, the meme still affects me and makes me worry)

I feel like the only time that OOC-ness can be a problem is when an indivisual/a fandom has a fanon that they like and they don't let anyone disagree with or write differently then that fanon. But I feel like that's not even an issue with OOC-ness, it's an issue with people (usually BNFs) being jerks and trying to get other people to conform to what they want

I don't know, maybe this whole thing is just a communal joke and I'm worrying over nothing. I'm not trying to ruin anyone's fun, have fun with your memes and all that, I just wanted to vent

(This ask is not directed at you FO, I know you're not the type to care about OOC-ness)

hard agreed actually, it's annoying as fuck

i honestly dont think it's that much of a joke to be honest, what with people making posts being all high par Make A Fucking OC and shit like??? who tf are u to tell me what to do lmao. if i want john winchester in a flower dress imma damn well make it, dont give a single fuck how Not Canon Compliant тм it is

thats the fucking point of fandom ya know? literally who cares. this whole thing reeks of the new-wave "it will never be canon so why ship it". like. its fandom material, none of it will be canon, the point is to have fun.

that and that one gross post "theres too much fluff of X" bitch?? i like fluff about X. you dont get to say what everyone creates, you dont have to like all of it. just pick the stuff you like, it isnt difficult.

AND those posts that keep popping up in "proshipper" spaces that go 'i know it's just fiction but guys. content about X chara being Y is /actually/ really bad;///'... it's like people completely forget their fundamental ideology about fiction when their own specific identity happens to be the thing that's bothering them this time. so is content that makes people uncomfortable 'allowed' or not? make up your mind, no doublebacksies. and who tf are you to not allow it in the first place but i guess there's enough people who for some reason get anxious over randos' opinions on the internet to feel bad about it so...

anyway, yeah. personal tastes do not dictate people's politics. this relates to yet another popular discourse lately:)

[flyingspicerack]

hey guys, this is very hard for me to talk about and bring up, but ive talked to a few people about it in priv already, and I think im ready to publicly talk about it...

When i joined the ososan fandom back in March, it was a bit... dead? And i was trying to grasp at straws, trying to find people to connect to, trying to make some friends, and came upon one person who I seemed to mesh with really well. She posted a lot about a big server she had full of people to talk about her content with and I was at first wary to join (i dont like big servers) but did so anyway. However, as I was wary, the two of us stayed in DMs for quite a while, in addition to me being in the big server as well. This person was equally reciprocating conversation with me, with equal excitement, with equal interest to the subject matter. I believe everything is going fine, them and I, i think, are becoming closer friends, she invited me to a smaller group run by someone else, things are good for a couple weeks. Im showing up and watching art streams, sure, im a little awkward, its a new group of people and I have adhd and am very neurodivergent (to which she claims she is as well) so i'm a bit... weird or whatever, but who isnt??

Then, I'm pulled aside, im pulled into a smaller group chat with this person and two 'mediators' to which this person proceeds to tear into me, telling me that i make her uncomfortable, that im being codependent with her (bitch the 'co' in 'codependency' implies ur reciprocating but claimed i was the only problem), i put her up on a pedestal, says our age gap is weird, etc. (I have screenshots of the whole 'confrontation' if ppl want to see it) and i was terrified... She never indicated prior to this that I was making her uncomfortable... I thought i was doing everything correctly, i thought i was being a friend, i thought we were equally excited to hang out with one another?

So, from this, because of this, this bitch fucking traumatized me. She had me believing, and still trying to unlearn, that i am annoying, that i am a nuisance, that im a bother to everyone that i come around, she destroyed my self esteem and destroyed how i try to make friendships because i am SO SCARED all the time now... that one of you is going to turn around and tell me that I put you on some kind of pedestal, that im being annoying and bothering you all too much, its why i disappeared the other day because i got scared i was posting too much, that i got scared that i was ... doing something wrong...

So... ok now that im in it, writing this, excuse my lack of composure for the rest of this post, i tried to hold it but now im getting angry

SO FUCKING MEANWHILE THIS BITCH, talking about codependency and age gaps in friendships, her two 'lackeys' apparently were her ONLY friends during like 4 years of her life (codependent hippocracy) AND she was into ososan from the beginning when she was like fucking 14, and one of her lakeys is OLDER than me at 29 AND WAS FRIENDS WITH HER WHEN SHE WAS 22 AND THIS BITCH WAS 14 SO you're gonna sit here and tell me that OUR age gap is weird when THAT SHIT is going on????????????????????? And fucking- PUTTING you on a fucking PEDESTAL?? when YOU are the one who is the OVERLORD of this fucking server you have with like 50+ peons, AND you have this nasty ass notification in the server to alert EVERYONE when someone leaves to which is kinda creepy and controlling??

Anyway i responded scared out of my mind and backed off... she didnt want to cut me out, just limit conversation and take me out of the smaller knit circle and we could still be friends, but obviously this freaked me out and i didnt talk to her much after that.... ANYWAY so this person THEN has the audacity to reach out to me a month or so later and is like 'hey... we haven't talked much and i think something might have happened between us? are we ok? you're really distant" and then i fucking laid into her cause i had the month to think on it...

If any of this behavior sounds familiar to you, its bc the person 'in charge' is known as Ava, or pinklemonfruit here on tumblr, and one of her lackeys? Lovenu, who im pretty sure a lot of you already know of... theres another one, her name is emmy, her username here i believe is lichenqueen and was the other 'mediator' i have been told by one source that they potentially could be lying about their age, but take this with a grain of salt bc i have no proof of this

I unfortunately dove right into this when i came into the fandom bc i didn't know any better, i didn't know that these people were bad and caused problems back in the day... but now im aware and i need everyone else who may interact with them to know that they are not good people and have hurt me personally. They have caused me trauma that I am trying really hard to get over but i fear its going to take a long time...

This is MY personal story and account of interactions with these people and I will continue to believe what I know from personal experience. If you come to me, trying to defend any of these people or try to make light of this situation, you will no longer be allowed to associate with me. This fucked me up, and I will not compromise on this, you will no longer feel safe to be around if you condone how these people treated me. If you do not believe my words, then fine, but i will no longer desire company from people who will condone this type of treatment that I had to endure and have been suffering through the aftereffects of.

Thank you for taking the time to read about my story and im sorry if it ended up too personal at all. But, I really hope those that read this will... understand my timid behavior? Why im ALWAYS saying sorry? Why im always so scared in group setting like aggies, why im always so apprehensive and timid and keep thinking people are lying to me about really liking having me around? Its because of this, this is truly and horribly messed up to do to someone... making them feel so low and horrible about their existence ...

if you have any questions, i am willing to answer them...

[rxttenfish]

i think ideally i want to include more of merfolk spirituality in the way that they casually think and do things - not necessarily in an overt way, no, but in the sort of ingrained way that works its way into all that they do that shows what a cultural force it is and to help them feel unique in thought.

thats something that always sits at the back of my mind, on how to depict the thought process of an entirely different species, and its something that i never quite feel fully happy with since i worry that itll then be either nonsensical in a way that doesnt feel lived-in or that it'll just feel like a carbon copy of my own thought processes.

for merfolk, thats mostly a lack of hard borders around everything and everything being majorly tinted by their social dynamic, adding in a lot of non-linear thought. they think of things primarily as either song or as a social dance, and tend towards thinking of things in "three-dimensions", being creatures who evolved in an environment where moving up and down requires effectively the same energy as moving backwards or forwards, and being able to conceptualize things better in three dimensions helps with navigation and existence inside of the medium they live in. this also correlates to their songs, aiming for complexity with the higher amount of information they can pack into that same space and to navigate tightly around the social bounds (merfolk having very stiff, non-emotive faces for instance, with most emoting being seen with their fins, means that the majority of how they convey emotion, especially over distance, is with sound and noises.), to the point of being able to form mental maps of their area based solely off of listening to the merfolk around them and what they're saying and singing.

however, all of this means merfolk can also be extremely confusing for landfolk, seemingly leaping from one topic or another or taking great care to restate things and being highly specific or broad and unclear without much of a difference by the merfolk at hand, or just otherwise treating relatively complex topics like theyre much simpler and self-evident than perhaps they might be to others. alternatively, merfolk can end up feeling like conversing with landfolk is too slow or nonresponsive, having a harder time moving at rates that feel natural to them without having to enunciate themselves or go back and explain things that are easy to grasp. to them, landfolk entirely miss most of their emotional complexity and non-emotive, which is fair, because landfolk think the same of merfolk, when we dont really have to specify our emotional response and intent inside of what we have to say and expect body language to serve the majority of that duty. this isnt to say tone doesnt also play an important role, but merfolk are effectively playing with an advanced version of tone which doesn't always map onto ours, and is quickly lost in translation.

but one of the big things to be a "merfolk-ism" would be how much they tend to treat everything as a part of their emotional group, and don't bother drawing hard lines between entirely different objects or contexts. for them, a group might be indistinguishable from the area that they inhabit, buildings and environmental structures being just as important as living elders, or from their relationship to their neighbors, all being as much "defining traits" as the people themselves who live there. which can get confusing, as merfolk might refer to and speak of the dead or historical events as though theyre still alive or still happening, mostly expecting the other person to know that they are dead or in the past, and viewing them and their continued impacts upon the present, or even just them being used as building blocks for the present, as essentially just as meaningful as the presence itself.

[myfanfic-urfantrash]

ive been having epic: the musical brainrot so now im thinking about an hsr sort of historical/classical gods and monsters au where you can accidentally run into a god while grocery shopping. But mix it with a bit of TGCF if you know that fandom. So people ascend to godhood and there are multiple gods of the same thing just some are more powerful than others.

Anyway there's a lot you could do with an au like this.

Reader ascends to godhood but it's weird because she isnt a famous figure despite how powerful of a god she became so now all the big shots have come to check her out.

Simpler idea but a god x favored worshipper dynamic might be cool and could work either way.

Ohhh goddess of justice reader x boothill.

I saw someone do an ares!Mydei with aphrodite!Reader and i feel like you could do that with Jing Yuan too.

Reader who offends one god and seeks shelter at another god's temple. I could see this happening with Aglaea and Anaxa or Gepard and Sampo. Blade and Dan Heng too.

Oooo yeah I can see this happening with plenty of these characters. It'd be pretty interesting to read and makes me wonder just what the reader does to offend that God and the ones they seeks shelter with. I could see them all offering up shelter for different prices or turning reader away until they say they won't bother them too much or something. Maybe a slow progress sort of love as they stay hidden in their temple until they can leave or are found out.

I'd read the heck outta that :V

[haeiheart]

lee hyunjae — are we friends? by @haeiheart!!

summary: Another day, another group project… except this time, it couldn’t possibly go wrong, right?? Well. That’s what you thought… until you got stuck with him. It’s just one project!! you just have to survive a few weeks of creative clashes, late-night brainstorming, and totally not noticing the way he lingers a little longer than others right?

genre: college au!, mutual pining, enemies to lovers (bickering mostly), humorous (attempted!), fluff, banter, idiots in love!!, kinda slowburn?

pairings: fashion major! reader x film major! hyunjae

note: wrote this out of pure enjoyment hehe, didn’t think I’d spend so much time just for this but surprisingly i did. Hope you guys enjoy!! >o<

word count: 10.7k + (i didn’t think it would be that long but oh well hehe)

No big deal right? You've survived these before. The excruciatingly long group projects. You've dealt with all sorts of people, the ghosters, the overachievers, the underachievers… yikes let's not get there. Those people somehow manage to contribute nothing and still get the credit you worked your ass off for. At this point, nothing should faze you.

Or so you thought.

Because the second your professor reads out the group pairings, your entire life flash before your eyes. Hyunjae. Sure, you weren't in the same field but you both were still connected as both your majors fall under arts. Anyways, this is bad. Probably worse than getting caught stalking someone by liking their post all the way in 2015.

Your feelings reciprocated, Hyunjae, who is sitting across the room looked absolutely horrified. You cant lie that you didn't have abit of joy from that reaction but you didnt have time to sit and laugh the moment he raised his head, locking eyes with you from across the room as you both feel a soul-crushing moment. You knew this was going to be a long project.

The professor is still talking, listing off other groups which you couldnt bother paying attention to as it slowly turns into white noise at that point. So you take a breath, accepting your reality that you're stuck with Hyunjae.

Stealing small glances at him, you suddenly feel all five-stages of grief kicking in:

Denial: this cannot be happening to me right now, maybe i was mishearing things

Anger: like cmon out of everybody in this room it had to be him, like we aren't even compatible project partners.

Bargaining: would it be weird or too rude of me to ask for a new group?

Depression: this is going to make the next couple of months more exhausting than it should be. Im going to suffer.

Acceptance: yea no, there's no acceptance lets rewind back to depression

As you’re spacing out, a sharp nudge snaps you back to reality.

“Hey are you good?” Your only friend in this god awful class, Eric, whispers, with an amused smirk.

“What do you think.” Still shooting daggers at Hyunjae as you let out a heavy sigh. “This might actually set off a mild heart attack. On second thought, might not even make it”

Eric follows your line of sight to see what was up with you and snickers when he spots Hyunjae still looking as constipated as ever. “Wow i never thought i would see you two together, this should be interesting, congrats” He laughs.

“Oh fuck off, interesting is one word for it” you mutter “honestly i think the word catastrophe matches more” pouting as if it was the end of your world

“Oh cmon he isnt that bad, like sure he could be a handful but he got some qualities” Eric says half teasing and half serious. You knew he could possibly contribute to something, maybe he wasnt completely useless considering he is one of the notable students in his major. But still, you and hyunjae is not meant to co-exist within the same radar. So you will never admit it.

You finally turned around to glare at eric. “Not that bad? Do you even remember last time. We nearly committed arson.

Eric raises a brow, intrigued. “Committed arson? Is this a crime and fight duo or what?”

“Really depends if you consider lighting a backdrop on fire makes us the duo of the year.”

Eric almost chokes on air as he lets out an exaggerated laugh. “You what now”

“Shut up it was a mistake” Giving eric a nasty slap on his arm before side eyeing Hyunjae again. “It was not my fault. It was his. Like who even brings a bunch of scattered unlabeled candles on set where everything is as fragile as glass”

Eric grins “Hey maybe this is fated. Like school has been way too boring for you, so maybe this will be the kind of chaos you need in your life, am i right?” As he is holding back a laugh.

“You just want me to suffer and die.” Rolling your eyes for the 10th time that period. Let’s just suck it up and get it over with. Maybe by any luck he wont be as insufferable as last year.

It was a wednesday. Probably one of the longest days of your week and its about to feel even longer considering who you are meeting today. As you steped inside the cafe you noticed how nice the place actually is in comparison to the chaos thats about to happen in here. The warm glow of the hanging lights, the soft calming low-fi music, the scent of overpriced espresso, the chatter from distant customers about their ongoing relationship drama. All of it feels deceptively peaceful. But nothing about this situation is peaceful for you at least.

As your eyes scan the room, you notice sitting by the window, looking obnoxiously relaxed, is Hyunjae.

He’s slouched in his chair, one arm draped over the backrest like he owns the place, the other lazily scrolling through his laptop. His hair somehow effortlessly messy yet perfectly styled falls over his forehead just enough to be distracting.The sleeves of his sweater are pushed up to his elbows, exposing his ridiculously nice forearms, which is simply just unfair. All of that is combined with the sharp cut of his jawline and that signature lazy smirk, it’s almost infuriating how good he looks without even trying.

Sure, he’s smoking hot, as everybody and their moms would say, but that doesn’t change the fact that he can be a pain in the ass at times. Apparently, being attractive and being a pain can go hand in hand.

You keep your expression neutral as you walk over, adjusting your bag strap before stopping at the table. He barely looks up, just glancing at you before tapping on his screen.

“You’re late,” he says.

You blink. Then check your phone. “It’s literally 2:02.”

“Exactly.”

Your eye twitches.

“Oh my god, I hate you,” you mutter, loud enough that he would hear it despite the low volume of your words, dropping your bag onto the table with a little too much force before sliding into the chair across from him.

Hyunjae leans forward slightly, resting his chin on his palm, and smirks. “And yet, here we are.”

You inhale slowly, mentally counting to three before you start swinging and flipping tables. Before you can form a proper retort, a barista approaches, setting down two drinks on the table.

You glance at them, confused. “Uh… I didn’t order yet.”

Without glancing up from his laptop, Hyunjae lazily slides one of the cups toward you, his fingers still lingering on the lid. “Yeah, I got you something,” he says, voice as nonchalant as ever. “You give off an iced vanilla latte kind of person.” There’s the slightest smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, like he knows he’s right.

Your suspicion is immediate. You squint your eyes at the cup like it might explode in your hands. “What’s in it?”

He finally looks up, amusement flickering in his dark eyes as his lips curl into a slow grin. “Poison.”

“You stare at him, unimpressed.

“Relax,” he chuckles, nudging the cup closer. “Just an iced vanilla latte. Thought it suited your whole… aesthetic.”

You don’t even know what that means, but you take a sip anyway—only to hate how good it actually is.

“Okay, so, ideas.” You pull out your notebook, flipping to a blank page. “Our project is about—”

“Fashion in film,” Hyunjae finishes, already typing something on his laptop. “I was thinking we could do a visual breakdown of how costume design affects storytelling. Maybe pick a few iconic films and analyze the fashion choices, how they reflect character arcs, enhance themes, or even influence trends in the real world.”

You tap your pen against your notebook, considering. “That’s actually… not terrible.” He snorts, but you ignore him. “We could break it down by genre. Like, how historical dramas prioritize period accuracy, while sci-fi leans into experimental designs that shape future trends. Or how rom-coms use wardrobe shifts to mirror character development.”

“Exactly,” he nods, spinning his laptop to face you. “Like, you know, the whole power-dressing thing in The Devil Wears Prada versus the whole ‘I have nothing to lose so I dress like this’ vibe in Fight Club. Or how movies like La La Land and Black Swan go crazy with colors to make you feel things.”

You pause.

Okay. That was… actually good.

Which is annoying.

Because now you have to pretend like you weren’t expecting him to be completely useless.

“Wow,” you say, setting down your pen. “You actually know some stuff.”

Hyunjae snorts. “I can be smart, you know.”

You roll your eyes but can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips. Maybe, just maybe, this project won’t be a total disaster.

“Yeah, yeah.” You wave him off. “Anyway, we should split the workload—”

“I’ll handle the video editing,” he says immediately, leaning back in his chair.

You nod slowly. “Right. And I’ll do the research and visuals. We’ll meet in the middle for scriptwriting and actual filming.”

For a moment, it almost feels… civil.

And then Hyunjae grins.

“So, should we use Google Docs or Notion?”

You freeze.

Then, a second later— “No.” Your head snaps up way too fast, like you’ve just been personally attacked.

His brows furrow. “No…?”

“I am not using Notion.”

Hyunjae gasps dramatically, hand flying to his chest as if you just said something personally offensive. “You’re one of those Google Docs purists?” As he watches as you pull up Google Docs, his expression somewhere between annoyance and disbelief. “I don’t get it. You seem like a Notion girl.”

You shrug, typing out the project title. “I am.”

He blinks. “Then?”

“I like Notion for planning and cute notes whatsoever, but Google Docs is easier to read. It’s straightforward, no weird sidebars or widgets. Just a blank page, like actual paper.”

Hyunjae scoffs. “So you’re saying you like being boring.”

You narrow your eyes. “I’m saying I like being efficient.”

He leans back, swirling his straw in his drink. “Right. Efficient. That’s definitely the word.”

You glare at him before pointedly typing Google Docs into the document.

Hyunjae mutters something under his breath, but ultimately, he doesn’t argue.

One battle won.

Scoreboard, y/n 1: hyunjae 0.

But there's many more to go.

Okay. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as hard as you expected. Maybe Hyunjae wasn’t the absolute worst partner in existence. Maybe you can get through this project smoothly. Maybe—

“Absolutely not.”

You blink at him, fingers hovering over your laptop keyboard. “What?” Like literally. What is the problem now.

Hyunjae gestures vaguely at the screen, looking disgusted. “That font. Change it.”

You glance at the document. “What’s wrong with Times New Roman?”

He scoffs. “Everything?”

Your eye twitches. “It’s literally the default font for a reason.”

“Yeah, for people who have no taste.”

You stare at him, half-expecting him to say he’s joking. He does not. “Okay, design boy, what do you suggest?”

“Literally anything else,” he says. “Arial, Garamond—hell, even Verdana.”

You gasp. “Verdana is hideous.”

“Times New Roman is worse.”

“No, it’s classic.”

“It’s depressing.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Do you argue with your professors about this when they make you submit papers in times new roman?”

He leans back with a smirk. “No, because I actually care about my grades.”

You scoff, fingers tightening on the laptop as you are quite literally at the brink of breaking it. He’s insufferable. Just because he’s stupidly attractive doesn’t mean he gets to be stupidly annoying.

“Fine,” you huff. “We’ll compromise.”

Hyunjae raises an eyebrow. “Compromise?”

You swiftly change the font to Comic Sans. Maybe it was to piss him off, maybe it wasn't.

His eyes widen in horror. “WHAT—”

“That’s what you get,” you say sweetly, closing your laptop.

You half expect him to argue more, but instead, he just shakes his head with a sigh. “This is going to be a nightmare.”

Maybe this project was going to be frustrating. Maybe you were going to bicker over every minor, ridiculous detail. Maybe Hyunjae was going to test every ounce of your patience until you actually lost it.

But, as you watch the slight furrow of his brows while he works, the way he chews on his lip in concentration, which was admittedly kind of cute, you have a horrifying realization.

This might actually be… kind of fun.

But to burst your own bubble, it was still dominantly irritating to work with him. Over the past few weeks, the afternoon meetings paired with your ice vanilla lattes and horrendous workload, the only progress that seemed evident was the tiny, stupid disagreements you both have.

seriously, it seems like he finds every reason to fight with you, whether it is the theme because he wants something more “pop” to how long a study break should be.

And honestly? It’s ridiculous. Because who in their right mind thinks neon yellow text on a black background is a good idea?

“It’s eye-catching,” Hyunjae argues, arms crossed as he leans back in his chair like he’s already won.

“It’s an assault on the eyes,” you counter, clicking aggressively on the theme settings. “We are not making our project look like a nightclub flyer and if i need to remind you our target audience is not rave and club addicts who goes weekly.”

He scoffs. “Fine. What do you suggest, then? Something painfully minimalist? Let me guess, black serif font on a white background, very aesthetic, very clean, very boring.”

Your eye twitches. “It’s called being readable, you menace. It works the best when its a written project.

It goes on like this. Every. Single. Time.

The study break argument? A disaster.

“Twenty minutes is enough,” you say, stretching your arms over your head. “Any longer, and we’ll lose momentum.”

Hyunjae slams his laptop shut, scandalized. “Are you kidding? You barely have time to breathe in twenty minutes. Thirty is the bare minimum for brain recovery.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, do you need a whole vacation to recover from looking at a Google Doc?”

“At least I know how to pace myself instead of burning out like a washed-up child star on their third comeback attempt.”

And don’t even start on the seating arrangements.

““Why do you always take the chair facing the window?” Hyunjae complains, flopping into his usual seat with an exaggerated sigh, like sitting anywhere else is a personal injustice.

You barely glance up from your laptop as you take a sip of your iced latte. “Because I like the natural lighting.”

“I like the natural lighting,” he mimics, rolling his eyes. “You just don’t want me to have it.” God you need to get a self care day after interacting with this manchild because you are gonna lose it.

“Yes, Hyunjae,” you deadpan. “Stealing sunlight from you is my ultimate goal in life.”

Despite all the minor battles, time keeps slipping away. At first, it’s a few pushed-back deadlines. Then, it’s the realization that you have way more left to do than you thought. And before you know it—

Panic sets in.

You stare at your shared Google Doc, scrolling through the half-finished outline with growing dread. “Tell me why we’ve spent weeks arguing over fonts and break times instead of actually finishing this project?”

Hyunjae groans, rubbing his hands over his face. “Because somebody refuses to admit they’re wrong.”

“You are literally the problem—”

“We don’t have time for this,” he cuts in, suddenly serious. “We need to lock in, or we’re screwed.”

You exhale sharply, pressing your fingers to your temples, willing away the stress headache that’s been brewing for the past hour. “Okay. Then we need to meet more often. We’re running out of time.”

Hyunjae groans, leaning back in his chair like the weight of the world just dropped onto his shoulders. “More often? We already see each other, like, every other day. Any more and we might as well get friendship bracelets.” He pauses and leans back, thinking. Then, he looks at you, a little hesitant. “Maybe… we do a late-night session? At my place.”

You blink, processing his words a second too late. “Your place?”

Hyunjae shrugs, leaning back into his chair like this is the most casual suggestion to give to a girl you supposedly “hate” in the world. “Unless you want to host.”

You hesitate for a lot of reasons considering your apartment is… not exactly in the best state right now. Fabric scraps from your last project are still draped over the couch, your desk is a graveyard of half-finished sketches, and you’re pretty sure there’s at least one coffee cup on your nightstand that’s been there long enough to be considered a disease.

The second and other reason is studying together in public was one thing, but in his space? Late at night? That feels dangerously close to… something else.

But then you look at the looming deadline.

Ugh. Fine.

“Your place it is,” you say, stuffing your laptop into your bag with a dramatic sigh. “But if you try to make me use Notion again, I’m leaving. And I’m taking all the good ideas with me.”

Hyunjae grins, leaning back in his chair like he’s already won. “No promises. But if you mysteriously find a Notion link in your inbox later, just know it wasn’t me.”

If you had told yourself three months ago that you’d be standing in front of Lee Hyunjae’s door, waiting for him to open it, all for the sake of your academics, you would have literally lost your mind.

But here you are, and you have to admit you’re really nervous. You barely ever go over to people’s houses, let alone a guys, and in this case, he’s actually a really cute guy.

The door swings open, and there stands Hyunjae, leaning against the frame with a lazy smirk. His hair is slightly tousled, like he’s just run his hands through it, and he’s dressed in an oversized hoodie and sweatpants, far from his usual put-together look. Can’t say you hate it though.

“Took you long enough,” he says, stepping aside to let you in.

You roll your eyes, brushing past him. “Maybe if you actually responded to texts on time, I wouldn’t have had to wait outside like a lost child.” As your eye scan his surprisingly neat apartment. You expected something closer to a frat house disaster, but everything is in its place, and it even smells nice.

Hyunjae flops onto the couch, stretching his arms over his head before reaching for his laptop. “Alright, let’s get this over with.”

You drop your bag onto the floor and sit cross-legged on the other end of the couch maintaining your distance, opening your own laptop. “For once, we actually need to focus. We’ve spent way too much time arguing over dumb things and it was getting ridiculous.”

Hyunjae snorts. “First of all, those were very necessary discussions. Second, you’re acting like we only argued and got nothing done.”

You deadpan at him. “We argued for twenty minutes about what font to use.”

“And? That was an important decision,” he says, typing something on his screen. “You wanted Arial. Arial is boring. Arial is the ‘I give up’ of fonts.”

You groan, already feeling a headache forming. “Not this again.” You were not in the mood for another disagreement.

But to your surprise, he doesn’t push it further. Instead, he nods toward your laptop. “Come on, let’s actually work.”

And you do. For the first time since this project started, you both actually find a rhythm that works. The usual petty bickering is still there, but it’s more playful than frustrating. You throw ideas back and forth, clean up your outline, and finally get around to finishing the visual breakdown you had been avoiding. You even caught yourself smiling at something he said, but hopefully he didn’t catch that.

At some point, exhaustion starts creeping in. You rest your head against the table for just a second, letting your eyes flutter shut. You tell yourself it’s just a quick break, but the warmth of the room and the quiet hum of Hyunjae typing make it tempting to just stay there.

Before you can drift off completely, you feel something soft brushing against your arm. You blink your eyes open to see Hyunjae draping his hoodie over you, his expression unreadable as he focuses on his screen like he didn’t just do something weirdly thoughtful.

“You looked like you were about to pass out,” he says casually, still typing. “And I don’t need you blaming me if you wake up with a stiff neck.”

You lift your head slightly, glancing down at the hoodie before looking at him. “Didn’t take you for the considerate type,” you murmur, fingers absentmindedly playing with the edge of the sleeve.

“Yeah, well,” he shrugs, not looking at you. “Try not to make a big deal out of it.”

You hum in response, but your mind lingers on it longer than it probably should. It’s weird, Hyunjae doesn’t exactly scream thoughtful. He’s annoying, he’s stubborn, he argues with you over the dumbest things. But then he does stuff like this, offering you his hoodie without hesitation, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

You shake off the thought and tug the hoodie closer around you, pretending it’s just because you’re cold and not because it’s weirdly comforting.

While you’re deep in thought, what you don’t know is that Hyunjae is also having a minor crisis of his own.

He hadn’t even thought twice when he gave you his hoodie, just saw you looking exhausted and curled up against the table and figured you might be cold. But now that you’re actually wearing it, tugging it closer like it belongs to you, he kind of wants to rip it off and pretend it never happened.

It’s distracting. You’re distracting. Which is insane, because you’ve spent the past few weeks arguing over fonts and study breaks and the ethics of using Google Docs over Notion. He should not be finding this cute.

He tries to focus on his laptop, he really does, but his eyes keep darting back to you like they have a mind of their own. You’re absentmindedly doodling in the margins of your notes, completely in your own world, and for some reason, it’s stupidly adorable. Your lips are pursed in concentration, your brows furrowing just the tiniest bit, and oh god, why is that kind of cute?

And then there’s the hoodie, his hoodie, draped over you like it belongs there. You tug the sleeves over your fingers, sinking further into the fabric, completely unaware that you’re wearing something of his, and wow okay his brain is short-circuiting. His ears feel hot. His heartbeat is doing something weird.

No. No no no. This is just sleep deprivation. A normal, logical reaction to being up too late. Nothing else.

…Right?

The past few days had been surprisingly… peaceful. Ever since that night, working with Hyunjae had become way easier. The usual back-and-forth was still there, but it wasn’t as sharp. You had actual conversations. You laughed a little more. And dare you say it, you almost started looking forward to your meetings. Almost.

Now, with the final touches of your project coming together, there’s a weird sort of peace. A calm before the storm. But, of course, nothing ever stays peaceful for long.

Because the moment you step onto campus, you see him. And her. Whoever the hell she is.

Hyunjae is leaning against a pillar outside the lecture hall, talking to some girl. You don’t recognize her, but that’s not the point. The point is the way he’s looking at her, relaxed, smiling, like she just told the funniest joke in the world. And worse? He’s actually being nice. No smug teasing, no exasperated sighs, just effortless conversation, like he’s known her forever.

Your stomach does something weird.

Since when did he have that kind of smile? The kind that looks straight out of a cheesy romance movie, all soft and easy, like he doesn’t have a single sarcastic bone in his body? Since when was he capable of tilting his head so attentively, like he actually cared about what someone was saying?

And why do you feel like bursting right now. Oh god.

You shouldn’t care. You don’t care. But for some reason, you suddenly can’t stop thinking about how he never acted like that with you. Not at the beginning, anyway. Why did it take weeks of bickering and late-night study sessions for him to finally treat you like a normal person? Why was it so easy for him to be like this with her?

As your head gets even more clouded, you had to snap yourself out of it.

What are you even doing? Why does this even matter?

You don’t care. You don’t.

“Hey.”

Your entire body tenses.

Of course he chooses now to walk up to you, looking completely unbothered, hands shoved into his pockets like he didn’t just turn your entire morning upside down. You school your face into something more civil, something that doesn’t scream I just had a crisis over you talking to some girl.

“Hey,” you say, forcing a casual tone.

Hyunjae eyes you, then tilts his head. “Why do you look pissed?”

You blink. “I don’t.”

“You do.”

“I don’t.”

He shrugs. “If you say so.”

There’s nothing mocking in his tone, no teasing glint in his eyes, just him being his usual self. And for some reason, that annoys you more. Because why wouldn’t he be unbothered? It’s not like anything is different for him.

You let out a slow breath, trying to shake whatever this is. “We’re finishing up the last project details today, right?”

“Yeah.” He stretches his arms over his head, then lets them drop back down. “Same time, same place.”

“Cool.”

He nods, seemingly waiting for you to say something else, but you don’t. Because what else is there to say? Hey, next time, can you not turn on the whole charming act for someone that isn’t me?

Yeah. No. You actually sound crazy.

Hyunjae blinks at you, then gestures toward the lecture hall. “Well, let’s go before someone takes our seats.”

You nod, falling into step beside him, and you try, really try, to ignore the way his presence makes your chest feel weirdly heavy.

You know he noticed how awkward you are right now, you aren’t exactly known as the best person in the world to keep a face.

Hyunjae tilts his head, eyeing you with that infuriatingly amused expression, like he’s trying to figure out what your problem is but also enjoying the fact that you clearly have one. You can tell he’s holding back a smirk, which only makes you more irritated.

“What’s up with you?” he finally asks, nudging your arm lightly as he adjusts his bag, his tone almost teasing but with a hint of curiosity.

“Nothing,” you say way too fast. You clear your throat and force out a more even, totally normal response. “Nothing. Just… surprised you can actually hold a normal conversation without annoying someone to death.”

He snorts. “Didn’t know you cared so much about my social skills.”

You roll your eyes, clutching your notebook tighter. “I don’t. It was just… new information.”

“Right.” He stretches the word out, clearly unconvinced. His lips twitch like he wants to push further, but after a moment, he just shrugs. “Well, if you’re done analyzing me, we have a presentation to finalize.”

And just like that, the moment passes. He starts walking, fully expecting you to follow. You hesitate, staring after him, feeling strangely off-balance.

Because if there’s one thing you do know, it’s that you’re not analyzing him. That would imply detachment, logic, something rational.

And there is absolutely no logical reason for the way your stomach just did a full-on gymnastics routine.

Hyunjae isn’t stupid. He knows when something’s off, and right now, you’re practically radiating something, annoyance? Frustration? He can’t tell. But it’s there, sitting between you like an invisible wall.

You’re avoiding his eyes, fidgeting in a way that isn’t normal for you. Usually, when you’re irritated with him, you let him know. A sarcastic remark, an exaggerated eye roll, a playful shove. Something. But this? This is different.

His mind races through the last few minutes, trying to pinpoint what could’ve set you off. Was it the girl he was talking to? That wouldn’t make sense. You don’t care about things like that. Right?

But then again, you’ve never looked at him like this before. Like you’re trying not to look at him at all.

That realization makes his stomach twist in a way he doesn’t understand. And he is not a fan of this feeling.

The day drags on, but you can’t seem to shake it off. No matter how hard you try to focus, your mind keeps circling back to the same stupid scene. Over and over again, like a broken record.

Hyunjae leaning against that pillar. That effortless smile. The way he looked at her, like she was the most interesting person in the world. God who is she.

It’s ridiculous. You don’t care. You shouldn’t care. And yet, every time the image flashes in your mind, something inside you twists uncomfortably.

Even during class, your pen barely moves across the page. Instead of taking notes, you find yourself aggressively scribbling in the margins, only to scratch them out a second later. The frustration bubbles under your skin, refusing to settle.

By the time the afternoon rolls around, you’re officially over it. You just need to get through the rest of the day without thinking about Hyunjae or his stupid soft smile or how warm he looked talking to her.

Easier said than done. Considering his face lighting up to bring you for another afternoon study hangout.

But you were done with today. The project was basically finished, well kind of. All that was left was overlooking spelling mistakes and formatting, and that was something you could easily do on your own. No more meetings, no more late-night brainstorming, no more Hyunjae.

So when he lights up and swings his bag over his shoulder, clearly about to suggest another study hangout, you shut it down before he even gets the chance.

“Nah, I’m good,” you say, shoving your notebook into your bag as if your in a rush for a life and death appointment.

Hyunjae blinks. “Huh?”

“I said I’m good. I don’t need help fixing typos.”

His face scrunches up in confusion. “Since when do you turn down free labor?”

You roll your eyes, standing up. “Since now.”

He tilts his head, studying you like you’re a puzzle missing a few pieces. “Okay, what’s up with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Yeah, no. Try again.”

You huff, crossing your arms. “Why do you care?”

Hyunjae scoffs. “Because you’re acting weird.”

“Well, maybe I just don’t feel like hanging out today.”

“Since when do you not feel like—” He stops, narrowing his eyes. “Wait. Is this about earlier?”

Your stomach flips, and you immediately scoff. “What? No. Don’t be ridiculous.”

A slow, knowing smirk tugs at his lips. “Oh my god. It is.”

“No, it’s not.”

He steps closer, all amused and too smug for his own good. “You’re mad.”

“I’m not mad.”

“You’re totally mad.”

“Hyunjae—”

His grin widens. “You’re jealous.”

Your eye twitches. “I am not jealous.”

He leans in slightly, voice dropping into something almost teasing. “You so are.”

That does it.

“Hyunjae,” you hiss, jabbing a finger at his chest. “Not everything is about you. Maybe I’m just exhausted from spending weeks bickering with you over the stupidest things. Oh, I don’t know, like fonts and sentence structure and maybe, just maybe, I would like one single day where I don’t have to deal with your dumb smug face.”

Hyunjae raises an eyebrow, clearly amused, but you’re too annoyed to care. You huff, shifting your bag higher on your shoulder.

“And, by the way, since I apparently have to explain myself to you, I already have plans today,” you add, voice sharp.

His smirk falters just slightly. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” you say, crossing your arms. “I’m catching up with Eric. Haven’t seen him in a while.”

It’s such an offhanded statement, so casual, so harmless. At least, that’s how you mean it. But the moment the words leave your mouth, Hyunjae’s entire demeanor shifts. It’s subtle, barely even noticeable if you weren’t standing this close. His jaw ticks, and there’s something unreadable in his eyes before he blinks it away, schooling his face into something neutral.

“That so?” he says, voice carefully even.

You nod, still feeling stubborn. “Yep.”

For a second, he doesn’t say anything. He just watches you, his expression unreadable. And then, with a small scoff, he steps back, running a hand through his hair.

“Well,” he says, forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Don’t let me keep you.”

It’s weird. The sudden shift in his energy. The way his usual teasing lilt is gone, replaced with something else, something off. You don’t know why it bothers you. You don’t know why you feel like you just touched a nerve without meaning to.

But before you can figure it out, Hyunjae slings his bag over his shoulder and turns on his heel, walking off without another word.

Fuck. Whatever.

“So, are you gonna tell me what’s up with you, or do I have to guess?”

You blink, straw still in your mouth, cheeks slightly puffed from sipping your drink. “Huh?”

Eric sighs, shaking his head with an exaggerated amount of disappointment. “Tragic. You drag me out here, barely touch your coffee, and stare into space like you’re in a movie. Should I start playing those really sad editing audios? Is this my cue?”

You huff, sinking further into your seat. “I’m not acting like anything.”

“You so are,” he grins, pointing a finger at you. “You’ve been acting all mopey since we sat down. Which, honestly? Rude. I came all this way to bless you with my presence, and yet, your brain is off somewhere else.”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms. “It’s not like that.”

“Ohhh, it’s exactly like that.” Eric leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. “What, Hyunjae ghosted you or something?”

Your cheeks puff up again, this time in annoyance. “No?”

Eric raises a brow. “Interesting. So this is about him.”

Your face immediately drops, and Eric cackles. “Busted,” he sings.

You groan, dramatically flopping your head onto the table. “I hate you.”

“Aw, I love you too, bestie,” he coos, reaching over to pat your head. “But seriously. If he walked through that door right now, would you still be sitting here with me, or would you suddenly remember you had, I don’t know, urgent business across campus?”

You scoff, peeking up at him through your arms. “Please.”

Eric just smirks, wiggling his brows. “Okay. So you would stay?”

“Obviously.”

“You wouldn’t immediately run off to go fight over punctuation marks with him?”

“Eric.”

“You definitely aren’t sad you haven’t seen him in a while?”

Your lips purse, cheeks puffing up again, and Eric lets out a victorious laugh.

“Yeah, okay,” he grins. “You don’t care at all.”

To your luck or maybe your absolute misfortune, Hyunjae actually walks in.

You know it’s him before you even look. It’s in the way Eric’s gaze flicks over your shoulder, the way his smirk sharpens like he just won the lottery. And your face? Oh you look like you wanted to slap and run eric right now.

“Ooooh,” he whispers, dragging out the sound like a villain about to watch chaos unfold. “Look who it is.”

You freeze, gripping your cup just a little too tightly. Slowly, you turn your head, and yep. There he is, stepping into the cafe like he owns the place, running a hand through his hair as he scans the menu. He looks good. Annoyingly good. And you hate that that’s your first thought.

Eric, of course, is eating this up. “Wow. What are the odds? Actually, scratch that. This is fate.”

You glare at him, but it’s hard to be intimidating when your face is betraying you with a very obvious oh no! expression. “Shut up.”

“Hey, I’m just saying. The universe clearly wants you two to reunite.”

The worst part? Hyunjae hasn’t even noticed you yet. He’s too busy ordering his coffee, looking way too relaxed while you sit there overthinking every little thing.

Eric leans in, voice hushed but mischievous. “Okay, so what’s the plan? Ignore him? Be cool? Run away dramatically?”

You groan, sinking lower into your seat. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Oh, so you’re just gonna sit there and stew in your feelings?”

“I don’t have feelings.”

Eric raises a brow. “Mhm. Tell that to your face.”

Before you can argue, the inevitable happens, Hyunjae turns, coffee in hand, eyes scanning the café. Then, his gaze lands on you.

And just like that, your heart does a very stupid, very unnecessary flip.

But his heart? Oh, he wanted to be an idiot about this.

Because the moment his eyes locked onto you, sitting there with Eric of all people, something in his chest twisted in a way he didn’t like.

Hyunjae wasn’t jealous. That would be ridiculous. That would mean he cared, and obviously, he didn’t. You were just his project partner. A temporary coworker in the academic hellscape. So what if he hadn’t seen you in a while? So what if you’d been avoiding him? So what if you were sitting there, so comfortable with another man's presence and here he thought he was special before,even worse you were looking all relaxed and content without him?

Whatever.

He forces himself to walk over, keeping his expression neutral, like he hadn’t just spent the last few days overthinking every conversation you’d had.

“Wow,” he says as he reaches your table, setting his cup down with an easy smirk. “This is what you’ve been so busy with?”

You blink up at him, and for a split second, something unreadable flashes across your face. But it’s gone as fast as it came, replaced by an unimpressed stare. “And this is what you interrupted my day for?”

Eric hums, stirring his drink. “Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just an innocent bystander in whatever this is.”

Hyunjae ignores him, his eyes staying on you. “So, what? You’re replacing me already?”

You scoff, crossing your arms. “As if you were irreplaceable in the first place.”

His smirk falters, but he masks it quickly. “Harsh.”

“Honest.”

For some reason, that word stings more than it should.

Hyunjae clicks his tongue, scanning your expression. “Well, that’s a shame.”

You narrow your eyes. “What is?”

He shrugs, way too casual. “I was going to ask if you wanted to do one final check on the project before we submit it, but if you’re too busy…”

Your lips part, and for a second, you actually look like you’re considering it. But then, you huff. “We already double checked everything.”

“Triple checking never hurts.” He says with hope.

Eric snickers. “Dude, you just want an excuse to hang out with her.”

Hyunjae glares at him. “You are absolutely not part of this conversation.”

You roll your eyes. “Nice try. I can proofread on my own.”

He sighs, dramatic and put-upon. “Okay, fine. But if you find a mistake—”

“I won’t.”

“you owe me coffee.”

Your jaw drops. “How does that even make sense?”

“It just does.” He smirks, already backing away. “See you soon, partner.”

And just like that, he’s gone, leaving you with a very amused Eric and a feeling in your chest you really don’t want to acknowledge.

Okay, so you caved in. But so what?

That doesn’t mean anything. It’s not like you wanted to see Hyunjae again. It was just… convenience. Yeah, convenience. You figured it’d be easier to do one last review in person instead of sending a bunch of messages back and forth. That’s all.

But now, here you are, in Hyunjae’s apartment, because of course you caved at the last minute, and of course, it’s late at night.

“This feels suspiciously like a setup,” you mutter, dropping your bag onto the floor and taking your steps inside his apartment.

Hyunjae doesn’t react right away, his attention flickering between his laptop and his phone, like he’s only half-listening. His hair is still damp from a shower, a few strands falling over his forehead, and the sleeves of his hoodie are pushed up just enough to show the veins in his forearms. It’s annoying how effortlessly put-together he looks, especially this late at night.

“You always think I have some ulterior motive,” he says, finally glancing at you with an amused tilt of his head.

You huff, crossing your arms. “Because you always do.”

His lips twitch, but he just leans back in his chair, stretching his arms over his head like he has all the time in the world. “If you’re so suspicious, why are you here?”

You scoff, tilting your chin up slightly. “Because someone has to make sure the final report isn’t a disaster.” In your defense you weren’t lying, you just weren't saying the whole truth.

Hyunjae hums, leaning forward with his elbows on the table. “Uh-huh. So you came all the way here, late at night, just for a little report check-up?” His tone is dripping with amusement, and the way he’s watching you, like he’s caught onto something you don’t want him to and it makes your stomach twist.

You huff, flipping open your laptop with more force than necessary. “Yes. That’s exactly why I’m here.” You keep your eyes locked on the screen, determined to ignore the heat creeping up your neck, your ears, your checks, at this point it’s your whole face.

He lets out a low chuckle, and you know he’s grinning without even looking. “You sure? Because you’ve been avoiding me all week, and now, suddenly, here you are. At my place. At night.”

You clear your throat, fingers typing nonsense just to look busy. “It’s called being responsible.”

Hyunjae tilts his head. “Mmm. Sounds like an excuse.”

Your fingers falter over the keyboard. You finally glance up at him, only to regret it instantly. He’s smirking, fully enjoying the way you’re scrambling to hold your ground.

“It’s not,” you stutter, inwardly cursing yourself for the slight crack in your voice.

Hyunjae leans closer, just enough to make your breath hitch. “If you say so,” he murmurs, eyes flickering over your face like he’s waiting for you to slip up.

You swallow hard and look away, pressing your lips together. You will not let him win.

“Can we just…” You gesture toward the screen, trying to regain some composure. “Focus?”

He chuckles but finally leans back, stretching like he has all the time in the world. “Fine, fine. I’ll let you pretend a little longer.”

You glare at him, but the rapid beating of your heart betrays you.

Hours of pure awkward silence passes by. Well at least one your end it was.

Hyunjae pushes his laptop aside with a sigh, stretching his arms over his head. “Alright, I’m starving. Let’s take a break.”

You don’t argue, closing your own laptop with a relieved sigh. Your brain feels fried from staring at the screen for so long.

“I could order something,” you mumble, reaching for your phone.

Hyunjae tuts, snatching it from your hands before you can even unlock it. “No need for that. I’ll cook.”

You blink. “You cook?”

He raises an eyebrow. “What, you think I survive off instant ramen and convenience store snacks?”

“…Yes.”

Hyunjae scoffs, pushing himself up from his chair. “Wow. No faith in me at all.”

You shrug, following him toward the kitchen. “I’m just saying, I’ve never seen you do anything remotely domestic.”

“Well, prepare to be amazed,” he says, rolling up his sleeves like he’s about to perform a miracle.

You rest your arms on the counter, suddenly feeling the weight of exhaustion settle into your bones. Now that you’ve stopped working, it’s like your body finally realizes just how drained you are. You don’t have the energy to tease him anymore, so instead, you just watch as he moves around the kitchen with surprising ease.

Hyunjae notices. He doesn’t say anything at first, just glances at you between chopping and stirring, his usual smirk replaced with something quieter. Then, without a word, he grabs a glass, fills it with water, and sets it in front of you.

“Drink,” he says simply.

You blink up at him, but there’s no teasing in his voice, no smug expression like he’s waiting for you to argue. Just an easy kind of care.

You sigh, wrapping your fingers around the glass. “Bossy.”

“Hydrated,” he corrects.

A small smile tugs at your lips despite your exhaustion. It’s nice, no bickering, no arguing. Just the sound of something sizzling on the stove and the occasional clink of utensils as Hyunjae moves around the kitchen.

At some point, he nudges a chair out with his foot. “Sit before you pass out on my counter.”

You don’t even protest, just sink into the chair with another sigh. He glances at you again, shaking his head before reaching for something in the cabinet.

“You like eggs, right?”

You hum in response, already half-lost in the warmth of the kitchen and the unexpected comfort of just being here.

“Good,” he says, flipping something expertly in the pan. “Then you’re gonna love this.”

You rest your cheek against your palm, watching him move around the kitchen with practiced ease. It’s funny if you think about it, if someone had told you a few months ago that Hyunjae would be cooking for you, you would’ve laughed in their face. But here you are, exhaustion making your limbs heavy, while he stands at the stove, casually making you food like he does it every other day.

And now that you think about it, this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this.

The hoodie he gave you that night when you almost fell asleep at his table. The way he always buys your iced vanilla latte without asking. How he never lets your arguments get too serious, always steering them toward something ridiculous just to get you to roll your eyes instead of actually being mad.

It’s all so subtle, so Hyunjae, that you didn’t even realize it until now.

Your bickering still happens, of course. He still drives you insane with his smug attitude and stubborn opinions. But in between all of that, there are moments like this. Moments where he quietly takes care of you in his own way.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s why you keep showing up.

“Alright, missy.” Hyunjae sets a plate in front of you, nudging it closer with a satisfied smirk. “Made with my own two hands, so you better appreciate it.”

You blink at the food, then at him. “You act like I should be honored.”

“You should be honored,” he says, grabbing his own plate before sitting across from you. “This is a rare act of service. Usually, people have to beg me for this kind of treatment.”

You snort, but the second you take a bite, you nearly melt into your seat. It’s warm, comforting and exactly what you needed. You don’t say anything, just continue eating, but Hyunjae must catch something in your expression because his smirk softens.

“See?” He props his chin on his hand, watching you in amusement. “I knew you’d like it.”

You’re too tired to argue, so you just hum in response, taking another bite.

Hyunjae, of course, takes this as an opportunity to push his luck. “Wow. No snarky comment? No insults? Who are you and what have you done with the real you?”

You shoot him a half-hearted glare but don’t bother wasting energy on a comeback. He grins, clearly enjoying himself, then reaches over to push your hair out of your face.

Your chewing slows.

“Eat properly,” he says, voice lower than before, before leaning back like nothing just happened.

You stare at him for a moment, then shake your head, deciding you’re too exhausted to process whatever that was. Instead, you let yourself relax, let yourself enjoy this rare, stupidly nice version of Hyunjae.

Just for tonight.

You aren’t sure if the world is against you or not today.

Hyunjae checks the time on his phone before glancing outside, where rain is practically hammering against the windows. “Yeah, no way you’re going home in this.”

You huff, pulling out your own phone to check for any available taxis, only to be met with zero results. “I’ll just wait for it to slow down—”

“It’s not slowing down,” he interrupts, nodding toward the downpour. “You’ll get drenched before you even make it halfway.”

You groan, rubbing your face. You weren’t exactly thrilled about this. Sleeping over at Hyunjae’s place? Hyunjae’s place? The same guy who had spent weeks driving you up the wall?

Hyunjae chuckles, clearly enjoying your frustration way too much. “Relax, it’s not like I’m gonna make you sleep on the floor or something. I’m not that heartless.”

You peek at him through your fingers, skeptical. “Debatable.”

He tuts, stepping closer until he can nudge your shoulder with his own. “Come on, it’s not the worst thing in the world. I have extra blankets, you can steal my bed if you want—”

You snort. “And where would you sleep?”

“I’ll figure it out.” His voice is softer now, less teasing. “Seriously, it’s late. Just get comfortable. You don’t have to act like I’m holding you hostage.”

You sigh, finally dropping your hands. The way he’s watching you. Patient but still a little smug, makes you feel ridiculous for overthinking this so much.

“…Fine,” you mumble, crossing your arms.

Hyunjae’s grin spreads instantly, all cocky and triumphant. “Knew you’d cave. Alright, first things first, do you need clothes? A toothbrush? A bedtime story?”

You glare at him, but he just laughs, already heading toward his dresser. “Seriously, I’ve got extra hoodies, sweatpants, whatever you need.”

You huff but don’t argue. The idea of changing into something more comfortable is tempting.

“Oh, and since we’re stuck here,” he continues, turning back to you with a raised brow, “what do you wanna do? Movie? Cards? Stare at each other awkwardly until we fall asleep?”

You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the small twitch of your lips. “Anything that doesn’t involve your dumb face.”

Hyunjae smirks, tossing a hoodie at you. “Sounds like a you problem.”

Later on, you both settle on watching a movie in his room, sprawled out on his bed while his smart TV plays some random film neither of you really care about. The rain outside hasn’t let up, the steady sounds against the window making the whole atmosphere feel strangely cozy.

Hyunjae, for once, isn’t being insufferable. He’s lying on his side, propped up on one elbow, occasionally making some dumb comment about the movie, but his voice is softer than usual. Less teasing, more comfortable.

You’re curled up with the hoodie he gave you, the fabric warm and soft against your skin. It smells like him, fresh laundry and something subtly familiar you can’t quite place. Not that you’re paying attention to that. Obviously.

A yawn escapes you before you can stop it, and from the corner of your eye, you see Hyunjae glance over.

“Tired?” he asks, voice lower than before.

You shake your head, but your eyelids are definitely getting heavier. “No.”

Hyunjae snorts. “Yeah, okay.” He shifts slightly, adjusting the pillows behind him. “Go to sleep if you want. I won’t judge.”

You hesitate, fingers tightening slightly around the fabric of his hoodie. “It’s just…” You trail off, feeling a little stupid for what you’re about to say.

Hyunjae raises a brow. “Just what?”

You exhale, avoiding his eyes. “It feels weird if I’m the only one sleeping.”

There’s a beat of silence, then a soft chuckle. “Oh? You need me by your side that bad?”

You huff, shoving his arm. “Forget it.”

“No, no, I got it,” he says, still grinning but shifting to get comfortable. “Wouldn’t want you losing sleep because of me.”

The teasing lingers, but then he actually lies down properly, facing you, head propped on his arm. The room is dim, the movie’s soft glow flickering over his face. Now that you’re both lying down, the air feels different, quieter, heavier in a way you can’t name.

Hyunjae studies you for a moment before speaking. “You ever think about how we ended up here?”

You blink. “Where? Your bed?”

He huffs a laugh. “I meant more like… us. From wanting to kill each other over fonts to, well…” He gestures vaguely between you two.

You purse your lips, thinking. “Yeah. It’s weird.”

“Weird how?”

You roll onto your side fully, mirroring his position. “We spent so much time arguing, and now… it’s not so bad. You’re not so bad.” For the first time in your “friendship” you were being honest, transparent.

Hyunjae pretends to clutch his chest. “Wow. A compliment? From you? Do I need to frame this moment?”

You roll your eyes, but there’s no real bite to it. A comfortable silence settles between you, the sounds of rain and the low hum of the movie filling the gaps.

And then, quieter, Hyunjae says, “I like this.”

Your breath catches slightly. “Like what?”

“This. When we’re not fighting.”

You don’t know why, but that makes your heart do something weird. You swallow, shifting against the pillow. “Me too,” you admit, voice softer than before.

Hyunjae shifts a little closer, the space between you shrinking until you can feel the warmth radiating off him. He props his head up on his hand, looking at you with that unreadable expression he gets sometimes, like he’s studying you, like he’s trying to figure something out.

He exhales, gaze drifting toward the ceiling for a moment before settling back on you. “You know, I used to be the absolute worst at sleeping early,” he says, absentmindedly reaching for a stray strand of your hair that’s fallen onto his side of the bed. He twirls it between his fingers, barely even noticing he’s doing it.

You glance at him, skeptical. “Used to?”

“Okay, fine. Still am.” He smirks, tugging lightly on the strand before letting it go. “But back in high school, it was bad. I’d stay up until like 4 a.m. doing dumb stuff—watching conspiracy videos, learning magic tricks, trying to see if I could actually teach myself how to juggle.”

You snort. “Juggle?”

“I got pretty good, actually,” he says, defending himself. “I’ll have you know, I could juggle three apples at once. I just had to retire early because one of them exploded all over my bedroom wall.”

You laugh, muffling the sound into your sleeve. “And let me guess, you never cleaned it properly?”

“I tried,” he says, grinning. “But there was this weird stain for months. My mom thought it was some kind of artistic choice.”

The mental image makes you laugh even harder, and for a second, Hyunjae just watches you, lips quirking up in something softer.

There’s a comfortable pause before he speaks again, voice quieter. “What about you? What kind of dumb stuff did you do as a kid?”

You hum, thinking. “I used to give random strangers backstories in my head. Like, if I saw someone waiting at a bus stop, I’d convince myself they were a runaway royal or a secret double agent.”

Hyunjae huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “Of course you did.”

But then he just… looks at you.

His amusement fades into something quieter, something softer. His eyes trace over your features like he’s memorizing them, lingering on the curve of your nose, the way your lashes flutter when you blink. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, doesn’t realize how gentle his gaze has become, how his fingers have stilled where they were playing with your hair.

For a moment, it’s like he forgets about everything else. It’s just you.

Hyunjae exhales through his nose, a small smile tugging at his lips. “You know…” He twirls the strand of your hair between his fingers, eyes flickering between it and your face. “You do this thing when you talk about stuff you like.”

You blink. “What thing?”

His smile deepens, almost like he’s debating whether to say it. “You get really into it. Your voice gets all animated, and you start using your hands a lot like you can’t get the words out fast enough.” He pauses, then glances away for a second before adding, “It’s kinda cute.”

Your breath catches. It’s such a simple statement, thrown out so casually, but the way he says it like it’s just a fact, like it’s not even something he has to think about and it makes your heart do something stupid.

You manage to compose yourself, tilting your head with a smirk. “Oh? So you think I’m cute?”

Hyunjae doesn’t even flinch. Instead, he just shrugs, still twirling your hair between his fingers. “Yeah.” His voice is easy, unbothered. “I do.”

Your smirk falters. You were expecting him to get flustered, maybe stumble over his words—but no. He just admitted it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Hyunjae watches your reaction, the corners of his lips twitching. “What, you thought I was gonna take it back?”

You stay silent for a moment, your fingers idly tracing patterns against the blanket. The air between you feels heavier now, charged with something unspoken.

Then, before you can overthink it, you ask, “How do you see me?”

Hyunjae stills. His fingers stop playing with your hair, his expression unreadable. He doesn’t look away, though if anything, his gaze lingers, as if he’s carefully choosing his words.

“What do you mean?” he asks, voice quieter now.

You swallow. “I mean… what do you think of me? Or—” You hesitate, then force it out. “What are we?”

Hyunjae watches you carefully, his usual teasing nowhere to be found. He’s reading the situation, the unspoken tension that’s been lingering between you both for weeks now. Maybe even longer.

He exhales softly, eyes flickering between yours. Then, in a voice quieter than before, he says, “Please tell me I’m not misunderstanding.”

His fingers graze yours on the blanket, deliberate and slow. He shifts even closer, so close you can feel his breath against your skin. His gaze searches yours, waiting, hoping.

Your breath catches.

He’s too close, and you should say something, should make some kind of snarky remark to defuse the tension, but your mind is blank. All you can focus on is the warmth of his touch, the way his eyes flicker down to your lips for just a second before meeting yours again.

You swallow. “You’re not misunderstanding.”

Something shifts in his expression, relief, maybe, or something softer, something you’ve never seen on him before. His hand reaching up slightly against your cheeks, testing the waters. “Good,” he murmurs.

You barely have time to process it before he closes the distance between you. It’s hesitant at first, like he’s giving you the chance to pull away, but when you don’t, when you lean in just the slightest bit, he presses in deeper.

His lips move slowly against yours, careful yet deliberate, like he’s savoring the moment, like he’s been wanting to do this for a while. His hand cradles your jaw, fingers slipping into your hair as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss.

You feel yourself sinking, warmth spreading through your chest as your fingers curl into the fabric of his hoodie. He tastes faintly of the coffee he had earlier, and the way he kisses you, soft but intent, teasing yet undeniably sweet, making your stomach flip.

He exhales through his nose, shifting even closer until there’s no space left between you. One of his hands drops to your waist, fingers pressing lightly against your side as if testing how close he can pull you without scaring you away.

The room feels smaller, quieter, like nothing exists outside of this moment. You let out a small sigh, and the sound makes him hum in approval, his lips parting just slightly against yours. It’s all too much and not enough at the same time, and when he nips lightly at your bottom lip, your grip on his hoodie tightens.

Hyunjae smirks against your lips, clearly pleased with your reaction. “Didn’t take you for the type to melt so easily,” he murmurs, voice low and teasing.

You huff, barely able to compose yourself when he leans in again, stealing another slow, lingering kiss that leaves you breathless.

The morning comes slow and quiet, the soft patter of rain still lingering outside. You’re warm. Warmer than you should be, and it takes a moment to realize why.

Hyunjae is still close, impossibly close, his arm draped loosely over your waist. His breathing is steady, slow, his face relaxed in sleep. At some point in the night, you must have shifted toward him because your head is resting against his chest, and his hoodie smells faintly of coffee and something undeniably him.

For a second, you debate moving. But then he stirs, his arm tightening around you just slightly, like he’s holding onto you even in his sleep. You freeze.

“You’re awake,” his voice is hoarse with sleep, barely above a mumble.

“…No,” you whisper.

Hyunjae huffs out a lazy laugh, his chest vibrating beneath your cheek. He stretches a little but doesn’t pull away, just burrows deeper into the pillow. “Guess that means I don’t have to move either.”

You scoff, shifting slightly. Big mistake. His grip on your waist adjusts, fingers pressing against your side as he tugs you just a little closer.

“You’re comfy,” he murmurs, voice still heavy with sleep.

Your face heats up. “That’s—”

“You can stay like this,” he interrupts, cracking one eye open to look at you. His gaze is soft, the usual teasing glint replaced with something quieter. Something fond.

Your heart stumbles over itself.

“…Fine,” you mumble, hiding your face against his hoodie.

He chuckles again, and just as you’re about to fall back asleep, you feel it. The press of his lips against the top of your head. Soft. Gentle.

You exhale, fingers idly tracing patterns against the fabric of his hoodie. “You know we need to talk about this, right?”

Hyunjae hums, not even opening his eyes. “Talk about what?”

You pull back just enough to give him a look. “Us. This. Whatever this is.”

That finally gets him to open his eyes, lidded with sleep but still playful. He shifts, his hand moving to lazily toy with the hem of your sleeve. “What’s there to talk about?”

You blink. “Seriously?”

He grins, tilting his head slightly. “You kissed me back.”

Your face heats up. “Okay, and?”

“And,” he drags out, tightening his grip just slightly, “that means you’re mine now.”

You stare at him, stunned. “That’s not how it works.”

Hyunjae just smirks. “Too bad. Already decided.”

You groan, burying your face against his chest again, but your lips betray you, curling into a small smile.

Hyunjae hums, running a lazy hand down your back. “Guess I’ll have to be on my best behavior in class from now on. Gotta thank the professor for bringing you to me.”

You lift your head just enough to glare at him. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

He grins. “And yet, here you are.”

Before you can fire back, he steals another kiss, soft, slow, filled with nothing but warmth. You barely have time to process it before laughter bubbles up between you, light and easy, like this was always meant to happen.

Eric was gonna make fun of you, screaming “i told you so” but that doesn’t matter to you anymore as you look at the boy in front of your eyes. Your boy, Hyunjae.

notes: um so this is where i dissapeared to hence why the smau is taking awhile to update hehe but i had a fun time writing this. But to all of you who is reading terms and conditions smau expect more updates from now!! >_<

[delilah-isnt-dead-yett]

HELLO DEAR CAMPER- I AM THE GREAT, THE SPECTACULAR, THE AMAZING MELODY! And am here to tell YOU a few ways you can check if you might be a child of the great gods!

myself am a Daughter of Tyche, so you might be a sister of mine if you've won almost if not all game nights you've participated in, ever wish some bad luck on someone and it happened? Another sign!

You could also be a daughter of Hephaestus, I have an "friend" who belongs to that cabin, if you like to build or not really bothered by heat? Could be one of his!

You said you like being in the infirmary? Ever feel stronger in the presence of light? Do people feel better at a simple touch of your hand? Could be a child of Apollo!

There's plenty more, but those are the ones off the top of my head (which isn't big don't listen to Jackie-) So come ask me more and maybe Grace you with my time!

-Melody (@Lucky-melody)

HI MELODY :DD oooo i would love to be your sister but i lose. every single game i play. UNLESS ITS GUESS WHO, I LOVE GUESS WHO! but i suck at games.... AND I LOVE FIRE, ITS SO PRETTY but sadly i still get burned... DW i built up a mortal's way of tolerance to it cuz I just kept getting burned and now i dont feel pain :DD also i suck at electronicss... and robotics... and mechanics.... and technology in general? And I think I might be another one of apollos (srsly, he has so many o_o) cuz of many reasons: - i get tired and sundown and wake up in the sun - sunlight energizes me (and sitting alone in the sun helps me when im overstimulate) - i love music (tho i cant play any instruments or sing) - i like to write, but im not that good - i LOVE to heal and help in the infirmary - even before i was claimed, biomed (medicine class at school) and biology were my highest grades (tho, that isnt saying very much) Butt... I might be a child of aphrodite too?? People always tell me the truth when I ask them... Connor said that it sounds like Drew's power of charmspeak

[pesterloglog]

Jane Crocker, Jake English, Roxy Lalonde, Fefetasprite

Act 6, page 5521-5540

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

GT: Greetings!

GG: Oh. Hello, Jake.

GT: Im not interrupting anything am i?

GG: Um, not really? Roxy and I are just setting a few things up here.

GT: Ah i see. I would be happy to message you again later if it would spare you any inconvenience.

GG: No, it's fine! It's really nice to hear from you, actually.

GG: I was starting to worry you might have forgotten.

GT: Uh.

GT: Forgotten?

GG: Oh no...

GT: Forgotten what now?

GG: Never mind.

GT: Wait dont tell me.

GT: Is it a tomb or a crypt or somesuch? Are you preparing for another grist seeking expedition??

GT: Oh shit did you schedule my assistance for the raid and i forgot all about it???

GG: No, Jake.

GG: We didn't need your help raiding a tomb. But thanks for thinking of us.

GG: I don't know what this clueless pair of damsels would do without you.

GT: Blast.

GT: Well what in the name of willy howard tafts great tub choking bottom could i be forgetting then?

GT: This is going to drive me CRAZY! Can you give me a hint?

GG: Yes. It has to do with the day I was born, which was almost exactly sixteen years ago.

GT: Of course! Your birthday!!!

GG: Didn't you get Roxy's invitation?

GG: It was my understanding that she gave you and Dirk notice weeks ago.

GT: Yes thats right. Now i remember. The date sure snuck up on us quick didnt it?

GT: Sorry you know how things can slip my mind. The gourd on my shoulders isnt the steel trap it used to be. Nothing like the well oiled puzzlebuster you've got up there.

GG: Mm.

GT: Well damn.

GT: Looks like the egg monster took quite the spirited dump on my face this time.

GG: Jake. I... what?

GT: I feel so dumb. Ill be right over.

GG: Well, if you recall, the party is actually tomorrow.

GG: Like I said, we're just setting a few things up.

GG: Roxy is putting up some decorations. I baked a cake. You were of course free to join us early too. I just thought since I hadn't heard from you in quite some time, you had better things to do.

GT: You baked a cake for your own party?

GG: Yes. So?

GT: I dont know something seems amiss about that. Isnt that against tradition or inviting bad luck or something?

GT: But I guess it makes sense since you love baking cakes. Its like a present you give to yourself!

GG: Jake, what was it you actually wanted?

GT: Oh. I just wanted to get your advice on some stuff.

GT: But since ive been a heel and forgotten about your party maybe i shouldnt bother you with that?

GG: Mmm.

GT: So sixteen big ones huh! The ole sweet sixteen.

GT: Last one of us to notch the vaunted one sixer. Its a big step! I knew youd make it, i always said i believed in you didnt i?

GT: Just kidding, the inexorable nature of times passage virtually assured you would get that old so you didnt really have anything to do with it. I mean not that i dont still believe in you, i do.

GG: ...

GT: I cant believe its already been...

GT: How long?

GT: What, like a year already since we entered? Holy moly, where does the time go.

GG: It's been more like five months.

GT: Oh.

GT: Well thats still a pretty long time.

GT: I have to admit its been a longer stint than i expected. Certainly one involving more downtime than i would have guessed.

GT: I really thought we would have been treated to more action, what being legendary players of a mysterious cosmic game. But no, it seems the primary duty of the so called nobles is to wait around twiddling our thumbs.

GG: Mmhmm.

GT: I am really beginning to wonder when these fabled heroes will arrive? And are they really going to be those we have been led to believe?

GT: I sure hope so. Id so love to meet my pen pal. Dear old departed grandma. But as a feisty youngster! What a hoot thatll be. And you with your poppop. Lets not forget about him.

GT: Not to mention the young strider and lalonde relatives. I bet theyre a barrel of laughs. I met them once but i was too shy to say anything. Then i got in a fight. Did i ever mention that jane?

GG: Yes.

GG: Many times.

GT: Not to say its been all downtime and doldrums. Exploring has been great. Finding treasure, solving riddles, becoming better friends. I wouldnt trade that for anything.

GT: And maybe we are getting close to something big happening regardless? Every day it seems like more and more undead creatures crawl from out of the shadows. Bigger ones and stronger ones. Does their presence herald something worse coming, just as the legends indicate our presence heralds something better?

GT: I just wish we could actually kill the fucking things. Even the little ones can absorb so much damage before yielding any spoils!

GT: Remember jane? Remember at the start how we kept trying to kill them?

GG: Mmhmm.

GT: We would all gang up on like an imp skeleton for an hour just clobbering it repeatedly. Knocking its bones down, waiting for it to reassemble and keep coming at us. Only to finally be rewarded with a shitty pittance of grist!

GT: But i guess the silver lining was it forced us to explore ruins more often and scavenge for loot there. So i think weve learned a lot more this way.

GT: But it sure makes resources hard to come by, having to get them exclusively from chests and whatnot. Sometimes i wonder if weve been missing out on a really rewarding part of the game by neglecting to build up our houses? Makes you wonder. But it just costs so much! Better to stick to making more practical stuff dont you think?

GG: Mm.

GT: Sometimes i wonder if the heroes had the same problems in their game. Do you think they found an easier way to kill skeletons?

GT: Were they just as shameless as us when it came to splurging our precious grist on swanky new duds?

GT: Did the same enigmatic bard haunt their game? And if so which hilarious dead trolls did he throw into the flashy blobs?

GT: Mr erisol tells me he knows many things about the heroes because he saw them in action when he was alive. But he wont tell me a thing about them! These troll sprites sure do love keeping their secrets dont they? Heheh.

GG: That's nice, Jake. I'm kind of busy though.

GG: What did you actually want to talk to me about?

GG: Actually, why don't we just talk about it tomor-

GT: Okay we can talk about that if you insist.

GT: Really jane you sure know how to twist a fellas arm!

GT: I just wanted to get your take on what you might call my own personal ultimate riddle.

GT: It involves dirk.

GG: You don't say.

GT: Its true. I havent seen him in a couple days.

GT: I have been laying low for a while but i just received another series of pushy inquiries from him.

GT: Maybe i shouldnt be too hard on the guy since he was probably just concerned, not having heard from me and all.

GT: But i still couldnt help but detect a tone of desperation, like he could sense i may be having doubts.

GT: This kind of thing has been all too common unfortunately.

GT: Im not sure its going to work anymore.

GG: Mm.

GT: He can be so needy!

GT: If only he could just relax and trust that i wont spontaneously tire of his company.

GT: Although the irony i guess is that his overbearing tendencies are beginning to fulfill his own paranoid prophecy.

GT: Its such a shame. Weve had so many capital adventures together.

GT: I dont know why he has to be like this. He always was an intense fella. But in person... holy cow.

GT: I wonder if it has to do with the fact that he grew up alone in the middle of the ocean? And now he doesnt know how to deal with people without suffocating them?

GT: But then again i grew up under similar circumstances and i think i turned out pretty much ok socially, at least i hope so. Do you think so jane?

GG: Mmmm!

GT: Actually it just occurred to me. Its funny he didnt mention your party in his text.

GT: Im SURE he wouldnt have forgotten. He never forgets ANYTHING what with all his calculations and his computerized brain. Both figurative and literal.

GT: I wonder what his game was? He invited me on an expedition without mention of your party as a potential conflict...

GT: If he sensed i could use some space perhaps he was concerned that if we both showed up to the party it would be awkward?

GT: Or maybe he didnt want to mention he was going to the party in case it would spook me away from attending?

GT: Argh! Do you see jane?? This is what his endless machinations do to you!

GT: Anything he says could be part of some grand convoluted scheme and it just makes you agonize and boggle and wonder until your brain hurts and you just KNOW its a battle you cant win.

GT: You know what i mean jane?

GG: Mmhmm.

GT: Do you think i should just bite the bullet and end it?

GT: Its probably the right thing to do.

GT: Boy am i not looking forward to that conversation though.

GT: Its going to be a doozy. What did i get myself into here?

GT: I think ive made a lot of mistakes honestly.

GT: Not the least of which was getting this shitty tattoo, now that i think about it.

GT: Yes yes i know we all thought it was a riot at first.

GT: I guess it still is maybe? But lately ive been wondering if it might not have been an act of sound judgment.

GT: Can you believe that jane?

GG: Hmm!

GT: I dont know. Its a real pickle im in here but i do feel better just being able to get it off my chest.

GT: You are such a good friend jane, always ready to listen to my relationship woes. What a trooper!

GT: It never ceases to amaze me how excellent you are at this friendship business. Where would we all be without you?

GT: In a way you really have been the glue holding us all together on our adventure. Gosh youre a standup gal.

GT: Oh which actually reminds me of ANOTHER thing thats been bugging me about dirk.

GT: He can often be almost hilariously self absorbed. Dont even get me started on when he starts going off on these long monologues about his philosophical gobbledygook.

GT: I'm not sure he actually has much of a filter when it comes to what others regard as interesting points of conversation.

GT: Not to rag on the guy too hard but i guess at times i would just like to see a little more self awareness from him is all.

GG: Jake.

GT: Did i tell you what happened on our last expedition together?

GG: Jake.

GT: I cant remember if i mentioned. Oh man but thinking back on what happened its even more ridiculous in retrospect.

GT: Where do i begin?

GG: Jake!!!

GT: What?

GG: Shut up!

GT: Huh?

GG: Shut up!!!

GT: Errr.

GT: Did i say something wrong?

GG: JAKE.

GG: PLEASE.

GG: STOP TALKING.

GT: I dont...

GG: JAKE.

GG: I SAID SHUT UP.

GT: Wha...

GG: JUST,

GG: SHUT,

GG: THE FUCK,

GG: UUUUUUUUUUP!!!

GT: Ay caramba.

GT: What in tarnation is the matter jane?

GG: WHAT'S THE MATTER?

GG: WHAT'S THE MATTER???

GG: I AM SICK.

GG: AND FUCKING TIRED.

GG: TO DEATH.

GG: OF YOUR INSUFFERABLE BLITHERING BULLSHIT!!!!!!

GT: Whoa there.

GT: You seem really worked up. Maybe we should just calm down and talk this through like sensible adults?

GT: Also youre going kinda heavy on the caps there arent you? Sort of makes it seem like your shouting. Just saying.

GG: I AM SHOUTING!

GG: THERE ARE LITERAL SHOUTS OF ANGER COMING OUT OF MY ACTUAL MOUTH, AND THEY ARE DIRECTED AT YOU!

GT: Yikes.

GT: Well ok then.

GT: Can you tell me why youre so upset with me?

GT: Is it because i forgot your birthday party? Because i do feel awful about that.

GG: OH MY GOD. WHY ARE YOU SO CLUELESS?

GG: I CAN'T STAND IT!

GT: Really i feel like a tool about forgetting. You know how i am. I forget stuff.

GT: I mean...

GT: Shucks buster. If i knew how to make it up to you i would.

GT: If it ameliorates matters any i am sighing pretty much the shucksiest buster of contrition i can manage.

GG: IT'S NOT ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY!!!

GG: THE FACT THAT YOU FORGOT CERTAINLY DOESN'T HELP, BUT THAT'S NOT IT. SEE, YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!

GG: OH, AND COULD YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING SHUCKS BUSTER?!

GG: SHUCKS BUSTER WAS MY THING! AND YOU STOLE IT!

GT: I thought shucks buster was...

GT: Sorta our thing?

GG: NO, IT WAS MY THING, BUT I ALLOWED IT TO BE OUR THING! BACK WHEN YOU USED TO GIVE A SHIT! BUT NOW IT'S JUST MINE, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ANYMORE!

GT: Uhh.

GT: Ok?

GT: I suppose i could go with shoot buddy. Or...

GT: Fudge junior?

GG: .................

GT: Or maybe forgo an analogous catch phrase altogether heh.

GT: But i clearly stepped in it big time with you and id really like to know what i did.

GG: JAKE, LET ME ASK YOU.

GG: DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST TIME WE TALKED?

GT: Hmm.

GT: Wasnt it a few days ago?

GG: NO. TRY A FEW WEEKS AGO!

GG: AND EVEN THEN, YOU MESSAGED ME JUST TO TALK ABOUT SOME STUPID SHIT THAT HAPPENED WITH DIRK.

GG: A TEDIOUS GESTURE WHICH YOU THEN SAW FIT TO REPRISE ON MY BIRTHDAY OF ALL DAYS, WHILST CONSIDERATELY FORGETTING ABOUT IT!

GG: AND EVEN WHEN I REMINDED YOU ABOUT IT, YOU STILL BARGED AHEAD WITH YOUR SELF-INDULGENT RELATIONSHIP CLAPTRAP ANYWAY!

GT: I didnt realize it was so long ago. Sorry about that.

GT: Again all i can say is where does the time go? I guess i have trouble keeping up with everything im supposed to. Which it would seem includes personal relationships as much as calendars.

GT: Im not much of a leader of people. Not like you are jane. I think when it comes to adventuring maybe im more of a solo act?

GT: Which now that i think about it might be contributing to my problems with dirk. Maybe thats part of the reason why i needed some space?

GT: Oh brother there i go again blustering about my problems. I guess i see what you mean.

GT: But really if you wanted to talk sooner then why didnt you get in touch with me?

GT: It feels as though im always the one to say hello to you lately.

GG: YEAH! THAT'S BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE TIME WE CHAT, YOU DO NOTHING BUT TALK ABOUT YOURSELF!

GG: YOU NEVER ASK ME HOW I'M FEELING OR WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO. YOU JUST LAUNCH INTO YOUR ROMANTIC PROBLEMS, AND I JUST LISTEN LIKE AN ACCOMMODATING FOOL AS ALWAYS!

GG: SO I JUST STOPPED BOTHERING! WHY SHOULD I SUBJECT MYSELF TO THAT REPEATEDLY?!

GG: YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE MOST THOUGHTLESS, SELF-CENTERED PERSON I HAVE EVER MET!

GG: I CAN'T BELIEVE I USED TO FEEL...

GT: Huh?

GT: Used to feel what?

GG: JAKE, HAS IT EVER OCCURRED TO YOU HOW IT MUST FEEL FOR SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO HER FRIEND GO ON AND ON ABOUT HIS BOYFRIEND PROBLEMS WHEN...

GG: WHEN ALL ALONG SHE...

GG: BUT SHE JUST COULDN'T SAY BECAUSE SHE BLEW IT AND IT WAS TOO LATE TO...

GG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M BOTHERING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU. NEVER MIND.

GT: Now hold the phone.

GT: Jane i think i may finally understand whats been going on here.

GT: In retrospect i cant believe ive been this blind.

GT: Youre right i really can be deplorably thick sometimes.

GT: Looking back i can see how many of our conversations must have been torment for you.

GT: You really should have told me how you felt sooner!

GG: YEAH. I...

GG: I know. :(

GT: If you told me you had the hots for dirk i would have backed off without another word.

GT: What are friends for!

GG: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!

GT: Wait...

GT: Did i say something dumb again?

GT: Consarn it.

GT: I think maybe something is getting lost in translation over our respective chat clients.

GT: Maybe we should wait until tomorrow and just clear the air face to face at your party?

GG: NO!

GG: YOU AREN'T COMING TO MY PARTY!

GT: Aw come on jane. Be a sport.

GG: YOU AREN'T COMING TO MY PARTY, BECAUSE THERE ISN'T GOING TO BE A PARTY!

GG: GO RAID SOME TOMBS WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. GO MAKE OUT WITH HIM OR BREAK UP WITH HIM, OR WHATEVER IT IS YOUR FICKLE, SELFISH HEART DESIRES!

GG: I AM AT THE END OF MY ROPE WITH YOU!

GG: I AM FED UP WITH YOUR STUPID MOVIES AND YOUR STUPID ADVENTURES AND YOUR STUPID OLD TIMEY CHARMS AND YOU STUUUUUUPID DASHING GOOD LOOKS. WHO NEEDS ANY OF IT?????

GT: I say jane. Before you do anything rash...

GG: OH, WILL YOU PLEASE,

GG: JUST,

GG: STFU BUSTER!!!!!!!!!

ROXY: jane

ROXY: yo uh

ROXY: janey

ROXY: u ok there

JANE: I WILL BE PEACHY FUCKING KEEN ONCE I STOMP THIS NOVELTY MUSTACHE HEADSET INTO OBLIVION, AND NOT A MOMENT SOONER!

ROXY: janey uh

ROXY: that aint a reasonable thing you said

JANE: AU CONTRAIRE.

JANE: I BELIEVE YOU WILL FIND THAT ONCE THIS PIECE OF SHIT HAS BEEN REDUCED TO SUBATOMIC PARTICLES, WE WILL ALL COME OUT SMELLING LIKE FUCKING ROSES.

ROXY: jaaaaane

ROXY: stoppit :(

ROXY: ur upsettin fefeta

ROXY: just

ROXY: think of fefeta is all im asking

ROXY: poor fefeta :'(

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383

JANE: OH POOR FEFETA MY SWEET PATOOTIE!

JANE: YOU AND I BOTH KNOW FEFETA HAS HAD TO DEAL WITH GARBAGE FROM JERKOFF BOYS BEFORE.

JANE: SO DON'T GIVE ME THIS POOR FEFETA CRAP.

ROXY: lol yeah

ROXY: my girl fefeta knows whats up

ROXY: she been around the d bag block a time or 2

ROXY: em i rite fefeta

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 3;3

ROXY: shit yes gimme a paw bump

ROXY: BOMP

ROXY: jane u want in on this action

ROXY: come give us a fist fulla sugar

ROXY: complete the 3way for max girl power + solidarity against dumb dudes

ROXY: janey jeez dont leave us hanging here

JANE: SIGH.

JANE: FINE.

ROXY: jane that was the piss poorest paw bump ive ever seen

ROXY: that was like a negative bump

ROXY: we are going to have to bump long and hard into the night to dig us outta this fuckin bump hole you dug us into

ROXY: w/ that tragic bump

ROXY: that bump was like

ROXY: shakespearean

ROXY: makes me want to weep softly and leave a bouquet somewhere

ROXY: someone plays a sad trumpet in the distance

ROXY: look fefeta just sniffled a little at how sad that bump w-

JANE: SHHHHHHHH!

ROXY: ok god

ROXY: was just tryin to cheer you up

ROXY: take ur mind off whatever the hell that was

ROXY: you werent serious about calling off the party were you

ROXY: here let me just get the chess guys to help put the table back on the roof

ROXY: and maybe salvage the cake out of that sand dune over there...

ROXY: aaaaand NOPE the chess guys just finished eatin it

ROXY: lets just bake another k?

JANE: NO, I WAS SERIOUS!

JANE: I'M NOT...

JANE: I'm not in the mood for a party anymore.

ROXY: so it sounds like

ROXY: u got jaked

JANE: >:(

ROXY: why yes

ROXY: that is the face of a girl who just got english'd with extreme prejudice

ROXY: he was a block head and forgot your birthday didnt he

ROXY: im sorry jane

JANE: Yeah, me too. Can we maybe not rehash the whole terrible conversation though??

ROXY: yeah we dont have to

ROXY: just maybe try not to hold whatever dumb shit he said against him forever?

ROXY: thats just how the guy is

ROXY: its like

ROXY: he doesnt mean to be a douche

ROXY: but its just kind of a byproduct of the whole ridiculous jake english experience

ROXY: like his dunkass shenanigans leave behind a residue that looks like douche and tastes like douche but it aint the real thing?

ROXY: like douche substitute

ROXY: "i cant believe its not douche"

ROXY: um

ROXY: im just trying to say not terrible things about him in hopes you dont start hating each other but i guess this isnt what you wanna hear now

JANE: >:(

ROXY: soooo yeah

ROXY: i guess jakes dumpin dirk soon?

ROXY: hahah like the writing wasnt so on the wall with those two from day one

ROXY: poor dirk

ROXY: ive wanted to say something to prepare him for that but

ROXY: never had the heart to bring it up i guess?

ROXY: what can u do....

ROXY: hey

ROXY: but the silver lining is

ROXY: i mean if you can forgive him for shitting on your bday and stuff

ROXY: maybe this is finally your chance to make a play 4 the j man??

ROXY: ehhhh??? ;)

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38D

JANE: ROXY, PLEASE.

JANE: AS IF THAT ISN'T THE FURTHEST THING FROM MY MIND RIGHT NOW!

JANE: I AM SO DONE WITH THAT WHOLE TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

ROXY: so you really think youre just

ROXY: completely over him?

JANE: YESSIREE!

JANE: IF JAKE'S THE RAINBOW, THEN JUST CALL ME A LITTLE HOUSE FROM KANSAS!

JANE: WHEEEEEE!

ROXY: wait rly

ROXY: as in like you dont give a shit if he dates anybody or

JANE: MMMMMMMHM!!!

ROXY: i seeee

ROXY: iiiiiinteresting!

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38O

JANE: WAIT...

JANE: WHAT??

JANE: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???

ROXY: nothing!

ROXY: i was just...

ROXY: it was a joke!

JANE: WAS IT REALLY?!

ROXY: ok maybe not a total joke

ROXY: but still mostly a joke!

ROXY: im only

ROXY: trying to

ROXY: blurgh

ROXY: i dont know

JANE: ROXY, I GET YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, BUT A LOT OF THINGS YOU'RE SAYING HERE AREN'T REALLY HELPING!

JANE: DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING HALF THE TIME?

JANE: I THINK I LIKED YOU BETTER WHEN YOU WERE DRINKING!

ROXY: jaaane no

ROXY: dont say that

ROXY: i had a problem :(

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38(

JANE: OK, YEAH!

JANE: I WAS WAY OUT OF LINE THERE AND I'M SORRY!

JANE: THAT STUPID CONVERSATION WITH JAKE JUST PUSHED ME OVER SOME KIND OF EDGE AND NOW I AM FEELING REALLY, REALLY DISTRAUGHT!

JANE: THIS GAME IS SO MUCH MORE DEPRESSING THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE! EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND EMPTY AND FULL OF GRAVES AND ALL WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IS JUST KEEP WAITING AND WAITING AND WAITING! BUT FOR HOW MUCH LONGER? AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE MY DAD IS, AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO REACH CALLIOPE, AND WHAT IF THEY'RE BOTH...

JANE: AND NOW ON TOP OF ALL THAT, I MAY HAVE PERMANENTLY DESTROYED MY FRIENDSHIP WITH JAKE!

JANE: AND NOW...

JANE: Now...

JANE: I just want to be alone.

ROXY: jane wait

JANE: I have to go!

ROXY: where are you going!

JANE: HOME!!!

ROXY: good lard

ROXY: all my friends are being disasters

ROXY: welp looks like its just us

ROXY: party nite w gcat and fefeta

ROXY: fefeta???

ROXY: oh dangit

ROXY: hey you know i could have used some support there

ROXY: where was all that profound shippin expertise when we really needed it!

ROXY: usually i can barely shut you up girl

ROXY: maybe you just clammed up at all the drama?

ROXY: hehehe youd have loved that pun

ROXY: the one i just said about the clams

ROXY: aw its ok you had enough drama in your lives

ROXY: you deserve some rest

ROXY: good night sweet princess

ROXY: sooo

ROXY: gcat

ROXY: i guess that just leaves the two of us

ROXY: wow this is

ROXY: great?

ROXY: you gonna behave urself

ROXY: not do anything too uh

ROXY: vexing or cheshire catty

ROXY: i hope?

ROXY: oh mother fuck

[mmunson86]

Eddie shut up you are clearly in the state of DENIAL get over it like a big boy you know freaking well you dont hate us, we are not that bad stop fronting , idk what other journalist hurt your feelings but it was not us so yeah suck it up buttercup, chill the freak out dude maybe Jeff realized we are nice and is being nice you know like a normal human! Admit it Eddie we make ya dick tingle & you are jelly of the other bandmates getting close because you wish you could too , if only your façade wasn’t in the way😏

Like i said your mad at yourself baby we are not the problem, we would treat you the same way we treat any other of the band mates but you “ hate us” sooo i guess we will never know, some people want a real romance Edward so excuse Jeff for treating his relationship seriously you grumpy ass, awee a perfect day for you is waking up to a chick who you emptied your balls into , wont remember her name & give 0 fucks about? Awww baby you are lonelier than i thought Eddie🙃🤍

Look i know he isnt cruel i know all of this is past trauma & a façade he is playing but WTF dude! real good job i mean you should be happy right? We got hurt lets throw a party & to top it off you are going to blame us? Get a grip Eddie , GOOD thats right Richie tear this MF a new one give him the wrath he has earned himself! Babe the way i was cheering Richie on as he told Eddie off , part of me feels bad but part of me doesn’t🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh Eddie we would ask you but you clearly made up your mind about us being a “shark” “wanting to sink are teeth into your band” soo why bother trying, might as well let you come to us, babe you want us you cant stop thinking about us even when you have another lonely desperate girl who you’ll probably imagine is us on your lap, not just that but you called out our name? *alexa play Call Out My Name by The Weeknd* yeah DENIAL Eddie thats what you are going through 😅

You know what Eddie your issues are deep rooted and it might be what we found out at the end of the chapter ( i am gagged BTW , ESCANDALO) so ill cut him SOME slack but that has nothing to do with us, i know this man wants and craves a deep connection & knows he could with us but he is so terrified to let himself feel again after what happened to him that he treats US, one of the few people that treat him like a human , like trash he treats us dead as like trash ; but like i said you will be crawling to us because you know we are your endgame soo we will let you figure that out big guy😘

This was soo good i need more lol the drama lord the drama that is going to explode after this one, i know Eddie is putting up a front , i know he has trauma he needs to heal from! i cant wait to see where this goes thank you for another great chapter in this insanely good series its appreciated love🥹💗

Us to Eddie⬇️😅

PRICE OF FAME (PART 2/?)

hiii here's these two again, enjoy!!

————

18+ — MINORS DNI

pairing: rockstar!eddie x journalist!reader

summary: eddie still hates you, you're way too nice, and gareth fucked up big time

contains: enemies to lover trope, themes of sexism/misogyny, smoking, drug and alcohol use, reader gets injured (nothing crazy), eddie hooking up with someone that's not reader, mean eddie, sexual themes, a glimpse of needy n sad eddie, mild violence (eddie punches someone), and Eddie being nosey <3

word count: 5.6k

| previous part | -masterlist- |

Eddie can’t do it.

He can’t fucking stand you. He hates that you’re everywhere, always around, always lingering— like a fucking hawk— just silently watching and waiting for one of them to fuck up. And he hates that you carry that fucking journal everywhere, always jotting down notes about whatever bullshit you write about— and he’s sure it isn’t any good either way because most of the time, the band does the same shit every day. There’s nothing for you to write about. They do a show, hang out backstage, catch wind of some party, stay out until they can’t physically walk anymore, and crash as soon as they get to the hotel. 

It’s the same shit. Yet, you’re always writing something down as if something new has happened— as if it’s something intriguing and eye-catching. 

You barely talk for the first few days; you just watch and observe, and Eddie thinks this must be how animals at the zoo feel— on display and putting up some fascinating show. He hates it.

After the third show, you start to loosen around the edges and start actually talking, like a normal human being. You talk to Jeff the most, laugh at his shitty jokes and ask him questions about songs and lines he’s written in past songs, and Eddie hates that. He hates watching you sit next to Jeff and scribble in your journal as Jeff strums out a new hook. 

He hates that whenever he brings you up to Jeff and makes some snide comment about you, Jeff never joins in— just shrugs and says, ‘She’s not too bad, actually.’

As if Eddie would ever believe that.

Gareth hardly pays any mind to you; he's too busy checking out chicks and just… being Gareth, but you’ve talked to him on multiple occasions. Eddie’s caught glimpses of you two chatting at rehearsals or in the green room. You even sat with him at breakfast the other day, and Eddie— Eddie almost blew a gasket because that was his fucking seat.

You’re ruining everything, and nobody seems to notice except for Eddie, and it’s driving him nuts.

“Dude, you’re gonna scare her away if you keep glaring at her like that,” Jeff mumbles, turning back to his guitar as he runs a dust cloth over the neck of the instrument. 

They’re in the studio today because there’s no show tonight, and against all of Eddie’s wishes, Richie still invited you to come sit in for their session. Eddie watches through the glass of the sound booth as you settle in on the brown couch, pulling out that stupid journal and a pen, mindlessly clicking it a few times before writing a note. Ridiculous. 

Eddie glares at Jeff and works the gum in his mouth as he pulls a face, “Good. She can blow off the face of the earth for all I care.” He grumbles, sitting down in the metal chair beside Jeff. 

Jeff looks at him, raises an unimpressed eyebrow, and shakes his head, “She’s not going anywhere, man. You’re gonna fuck it up if you keep being so… hostile toward her.” He points out. Eddie leans back in his chair, pulling out a box of cigarettes and sparking up. “I’m not gonna be the one to fuck it up,” Eddie mumbles through smoke, “You guys are practically feeding her all the information she needs on a silver fucking platter. She’s a goddamn shark.” 

Jeff scoffs and says nothing more as he continues cleaning his guitar. Eddie glances at you and watches you talk to the producer, smiling and laughing at something that Eddie can’t hear because the mic is off and the door is closed. 

Aside from how annoying and creepishly lurk-y you are, Eddie can admit you’re pretty. You have a pretty face, pretty smile, pretty hair, a bright look in your eyes that Eddie can’t stand because you look at the rest of the band like they hung the fucking moon when they speak. You look at everyone as if they’re so important, and Eddie thinks that’s dumb. 

He glances at Jeff, watches him silently for a moment, and glances back at you, takes a hit of his cigarette before speaking, “You like her?” he asks.

Jeff glimpses at Eddie and laughs with a shake of his head, “Isn’t that precisely what you’re pissed about?”

Eddie shakes his head, “No, like,” he kicks the heel of his shoe into the floor, “Do you wanna fuck her?”

Jeff pauses his task and watches as Eddie puffs on his cigarette. “I have a girlfriend, Eddie.” He reminds the boy. Eddie glances at him and scoffs, “That chick from Chicago? Thought that was just for fun.” He responds. 

Eddie remembers the girl from a few weeks back, remembers Jeff sneaking her on the bus while they had dinner. He didn’t know they were serious.

Jeff shakes his head, eyebrows furrowing in disbelief, “No, man. She’s come to like every show— and her name is Naomi; she’s not a chick.”

Eddie grunts in response, burning to the end of his cigarette when Jeff stands up and nudges him with his foot, “Just talk to her, dude. She’s not as bad as you think she is, and she asks good questions— actual questions, about the music and shit. None of that,” he waves a hand in gesture, “stupid shit we get from reporters. She’s good. Just try.”

Jeff leaves Eddie to mill about it and finish off cigarette, snuffing it out in the ashtray sitting on the amp. Eddie doesn’t believe Jeff one bit; he thinks you’re a liar who’s mastered the art of manipulation and has weaseled your way into gaining his friends' trust. He doesn’t believe you are here for the music, as Jeff had said; he thinks— knows— that you’re here to find the cracks.

You’re here to find the cuts and bruises and press into them so you can tear them apart piece by piece. A starved monster, preying on his band for some sick and twisted story to feed the media so you can climb the ladder of your industry. Eddie has met and knows people like you, and he can call your bluff from a mile away.

He doesn’t believe Jeff. But he does, however, know how to play your game. 

The next day is show day— the fifth show of the residency, and Eddie is in a good mood. He woke up with a girl in his bed, got high, went for a short walk to a nearby cafe, and even signed a few autographs for some lovely fans. On top of that, you haven’t shown up for rehearsals yet, and Eddie thinks the world is working in his favor today if you skip.

He’s playful today. He jumps on Gareth’s back and makes him run down the rows of the arena, screaming and hollering like wild animals. He and Jeff take Richie’s golf cart and go for a spin backstage, giggling when the security chases them and tells them speeding backstage is prohibited. They don’t listen, though; Eddie ignores everyone’s warnings and keeps hauling ass down the nearly empty hallways, swerving around boxes and equipment like a madman.

And Eddie may be mean sometimes; he may push people's buttons for the hell of it and do things he knows he shouldn’t just to get a reaction out of it, but Eddie isn’t cruel. He isn’t a psychopath who likes hurting people, so he doesn’t mean to speed past you and spook you badly enough to stumble into a stack of road cases.

Eddie saw you, and he tried to warn you, yelled out for you to move out of the way, and even honked, but you had a pair of headphones stuffed over your ears so that you couldn’t hear the squealing wheels of the golf cart or Eddie’s warning. He almost took you out. Almost. But he didn’t because he swerved at the last second, and you panicked and stepped back, stumbling on the heel of your shoe and falling onto the cold cement floor, slamming your back against the black boxes.

Eddie curses and comes to a screeching halt, parking the golf cart and following Jeff as he jogs over to you, quickly asking if you’re okay and helping you to sit up. As you speak, your face is twisted in confusion, wincing and sitting up, “I’m fine, I just— I just fell, it’s fine.”

Eddie watches from a few feet back as Jeff helps you stand up, face pinching in an expression of pain when you put your weight onto your ankle, and Eddie doesn’t believe it for a second. “I think you might need to get that checked—” Eddie cuts Jeff off and speaks the first thought that comes to his mind, “Why didn’t you move out of the way?”

You look at him, anger replacing your look of pain as you glare at Eddie. You grip the band of your headphones and wave it at him, “Because I didn’t fucking hear you, jackass.” You snap. “What, you couldn’t see the big ass machine hurling your way?”

“No,” you seethe, “You shouldn’t have been driving that fast anyways; this isn’t my fault. The least you could do is say fucking sorry.” You spat. And Eddie just thinks you’re a brat. Before Eddie can respond with an even bitchier response, Jeff is cutting in with a wave of his hands, “Okay, this is fucking stupid,” he scoffs, “just let me drive you to medic so you can get checked.”

Eddie doesn’t even bother helping Jeff get you to the golf cart; he simply watches as you fake your limp all the way to the vehicle and thank Jeff for helping you get in. Jeff looks back to Eddie and raises an eyebrow, “Are you coming, man?” 

Eddie wouldn’t willingly spend a minute with you if someone paid him to do it. 

He shakes his head with a scoff and tells them to go on, he’ll meet them at the stage later on, and Jeff takes off without another word.

“Did you try to hit the journalist with a fucking golf cart?”

Eddie’s good mood is long gone. 

After the whole golf cart fiasco, Eddie took his time walking around backstage and burning through cigarettes before finding himself in the room filled with snacks and drinks. He’s standing at the table filled with chips and sodas when Richie storms in and starts causing a goddamn scene.

“What—” “You know what I’m talking about.” Richie snaps. Eddie’s face twists in annoyance, “I didn’t try to fucking hit her; she didn’t move out of the goddamn way because she’s an idiot,” Eddie grumbles, returning to his task of sifting through the different brands of chips. Eddie doesn’t believe you’re actually hurt. That pathetic fall was as minor as a fall can get, and he thinks Jeff and anyone else who believes your shitty acting skills is dumber than a rock. 

Richie snatches the bag of chips out of Eddie’s hand and tosses them onto the table, ignoring Eddie’s protest as he speaks, “She sprained her fucking ankle, man.”

Eddie scoffs, “She’s faking it, Richie; anybody with brains can see that from a mile away.” He rolls his eyes. Richie looks at Eddie as if he’s lost his mind, as if Eddie is the worst villain to ever grace the goddamn planet, “You’re fucked up,” and Eddie’s stomach twists in some weird way he can’t explain. 

“You have some serious fucking issues, man. That girl did nothing to you, and you treat her like shit.” Richie spits, and Eddie hates how his throat feels tight, like someone shoved a golf ball down his throat. “Get over yourself.”

Richie leaves Eddie in the empty room, silent and, against Eddie’s wishes, feeling like the shittiest man alive. 

Eddie’s good mood feels like a dream now.

He’s silent throughout rehearsals. He sings his parts half-assed and plays his solos half-assed, too. You watch from the side of the stage, propped up on one of the road cases to take the weight off your ankle, and Eddie doesn’t even glance in your direction the entire time. He avoids you at all costs, leaving the room when you walk in, going the other direction you’re walking in, and even skipping lunch to avoid crossing paths. 

You’ve been like a ghost all day; everywhere Eddie goes, you’re somehow there, walking with a shitty limp as if trying to rub it into Eddie’s face that, ‘You did this. This is your fault.’ and Eddie can’t stand it. By the time the doors open to the arena, Eddie is more than ready to finish the show and steer clear of all traces of you.

You watched the show on the TV in the dressing room, silently snacking on a bag of Ritz crackers with your foot propped up on the coffee table beside the couch. The medic advised you to avoid putting pressure on your ankle for the next few days so you couldn’t have your usual front-row view of the show. 

The boys do good; they perform a new song they’re working on, and the crowd seems to have loved it. As usual, they get up to their ritual backstage antics, pregaming for whatever party they’ll attend, loud and obnoxious music, and cheering on whatever drinking game they’ve made up. You’re silently writing in your journal, updating the last entry on what you’ve witnessed today. Interpretations on the new music, drabbles on what you and Gareth briefly discussed about his childhood, and quick notes on whatever comes to mind while writing.

You hardly notice Eddie stumbling through the dressing room door until you hear him bumping into the side table with a curse. You look up, silently watching as he looks around the room, searching for something you’re unsure of. You try to keep your voice level to not scare him, but he is startled either way, “What are you looking for?”

His eyes are low, puffy around the edges from the alcohol he’d tossed back earlier, hair tousled with curly strands clinging to his lips. His lips are slick, swollen, and red, clothes askew on his lean frame. His jeans are unbuttoned, belt clinking as he sways a bit, licking his lips as he stammers, “Uh… my uh, my jacket—” he blinks, stumbling to lean against the door and blinking hard, “M’looking for my jacket.”

Your eyebrows raise as you watch him, the disheveled and captivating mess he is, bleary eyes gazing at you through a cloud of eyeshadow and whiskey. You breathe and point to the chair in front of the vanity, “It’s over there.”

His gaze follows your lead, landing on his strewn jacket, cursing as he walks across the room. You busy yourself with your journal, picking up where you’d left off. You can hear Eddie rustling behind you, and you try to avoid glancing back at him, but you fail, glancing in time to watch as he leans forward into the mirror to tug at misplaced strands of his hair. 

He’s silent for a moment before clearing his throat, glancing back at you through the mirror, “I’m uh… I’m sorry about,” he gestures to your elevated foot, forgetting you’re not even facing him, and rubbing the back of his hand to rub his nose and sniffling, “About your foot… Was really shitty of me.”

You glance back at him, a ghost of a smile gracing your lips, “Thank you, Eddie. I appreciate your apology.”

Eddie scoffs, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and shoving a stick between his lips with quivering fingers, “Yeah, well, that’s the first and last apology you’ll ever get from me so…” you silently watch as he lights his cigarette, puffing out a cloud of smoke and glancing at you through the mirror, “cherish it.” 

You quietly sigh and shift in your seat, ignoring his remark, “You going out tonight?” You ask.

You watch as he steps away from the vanity and walks over to the couch, plopping down on the farthest side from you with a deep sigh, “That’s the routine.” He mumbles around a cloud of smoke.

You nod, an uncomfortable silence settling over the two of you as you continue writing. Eddie is slumped down in his seat, quietly puffing on his cigarette as he gazes at you through low lids, “What are you writing?”

You look at him; pen paused over the sentence you’d been writing as you tilt your head, “I’m working on my piece… you know, the piece you’re starring in.” Eddie grumbles in response with a single nod of his head, and his eyes are so low you’d almost think he’s falling asleep if it weren’t for his determination to finish his cigarette. 

“Why— why haven’t you asked me anything?” Eddie asks.

You look at him, doing your best to keep a neutral expression as you fold your hands over the paper of your notebook, “I wasn’t under the impression you wanted to be… bothered.”

Eddie glances at you, scoffing, and you remind yourself that you’ve already somehow made the man despise you, so it’d be better to hold your tongue, opting not to remind him of the shitty attitude he’s had since you met. “I’m part of the band, aren’t I?” He shrugs, picking at the loose threads of his ripped jeans. “Shouldn’t I have as much coverage as… Jeff?” He mumbles, and you think he might be under the impression that you can’t hear him, but you do either way.

Your eyebrows raise, and you shift in your seat once again, “Well… would you like me to ask you some questions?”

Eddie is more gentle when he is drunk, you think. More pliable, softer. The stone-hard deflective shield he has thrown up for you has withered beneath the alcohol. Where his eyes are usually cold and sharp, they are now softer and telling— of what, you’re not sure yet. He shifts further into the couch and shrugs, and you take a deep breath and flip to a clean page, scribbling Eddie’s name in the corner.

“Okay, Eddie,” you begin, turning ever so slightly to face him. “Tell me about yourself. Tell me about who you are aside from the frontman of Corroded Coffin.” You glance between your notebook and Eddie, patiently waiting as he takes a drag of the burning paper. He looks at you, the majority of his face shielded behind unruly dark curls, and the room is so silent it’s nearly deafening.

Eddie shakes his head so gently you almost don’t notice the movement, “I don’t…” he bounces his leg once, “I thought this was about the music.”

You nod, “It is.”

Eddie gently blinks, like if he blinks too hard, the earth might shatter, and you think it’s beautiful, and you think you might hate that.

“It’s about the music, but I can’t write about the music without knowing the creator, can I?”

Eddie looks at you, eyes almost clear with lips parted around smoke. He blinks again, and you smile in encouragement, situating the pen in your grip. He looks at you, studies you, his gaze dropping to your awaiting hand, and his face twists in some expression you can’t put a finger on.

Before Eddie can speak, the door opens, both of your heads snapping toward the door as a tipsy Gareth pops his head inside, “Eddie, come on man, the car’s here.”

If Gareth had noticed the odd combination of you and Eddie sitting on the same couch, willingly enduring each other's presence, he wouldn’t mention it. 

You look back to Eddie, and you almost want to stop him as he gets up because, god, you were so fucking close. So close to finally touching Eddie. But he’s gone quicker than he came, the scent of his cologne and smoke lingering like a ghost, and despite Eddie giving you absolutely nothing to write about, you find yourself writing about him either way with nothing but his scent to aid you.

Eddie is drunk, and he can not, for the life of him, stop thinking about you.

A girl is climbing over him in the back of a taxi, and Eddie can only think about you. The look of pain you had when you stood up after falling, the way you looked at him as if he was the bane of your existence— it makes Eddie’s stomach churn, and he wishes the culprit for his nausea was the alcohol, but it’s not. Eddie knows it’s not because the second he thinks about the way you smiled at him in the dressing room, the way you said his name, the way you spoke so gently despite how much of an asshole he’s been to you, Eddie’s sick stomach settles and erupts in this annoying warm flutter.

Eddie can’t think of anything but the fact that he wants you to smile at him more, wants to hear you say his name again, and talk to him in your gentle way.

His face pinches in frustration, fingers gripping the girl's waist as she mouths at his neck. She moans against his skin, grinding down against his bulge and grinning when she feels him rut up against her. Eddie mumbles something, he’s not sure what he mumbles because his brain is split between worlds of scary feelings and arousal, but the girl laughs, scraping her teeth against his thumping pulse, “That journalist?” She asks.

Eddie blinks away the foggy cloud, “Huh?”

Lany pulls away from his neck and looks at him, biting her lip and tilting her head as she rubs up against him again, Eddie grunting in the back of his throat as his face twists in pleasure. “The journalist. You said her name.” Lany hums, drifting her hands up Eddie’s chest and grappling at the collar of his unbuttoned sheer top. Eddie blinks again and shakes his head, “I didn’t,” he denies.

Lany giggles, “You did, Eddie.”

Eddie glances over her shoulder, making awkward eye contact with the driver through the rearview mirror, and he slightly grimaces and looks back to Lany as she leans in, ghosting her lips over his and tauntingly whispering your name. Eddie grunts in protest, squeezing her hips in a warning. Before he can say something, Lany kisses him with a hum before pulling away to where her lips brush against hers as she speaks, “Did you fuck her?”

Eddie pulls away from Lany, a look of distaste on his face as he glares at her, “Did I— what? No,” Eddie cringes as if it’s the worst thing he’s ever heard— and it’s not, and Eddie… Eddie hates that, he thinks. “No, I didn’t fuck her. Are you serious?” “You want to fuck her then?”

“I want you to stop talking about her,” Eddie counters, dragging his thumb across her bottom lip and watching as he drags the plump flesh down, grinning when Lany nips at his fingertip. “Maybe put these pretty lips to good use, hm?” He taunts, grin widening when she nods and sucks his thumb down to the last knuckle, his jeans tightening at the feeling and sight.

And if Eddie did say your name, he doesn’t think about it. He doesn’t dwell on the fact that he’d been thinking of you for whatever odd, fucked up reason, and he doesn’t try to figure out what that weird flutter feeling is when he thinks about your softness, the softness he’s been depriving himself of.

He doesn’t dwell on any of it because Eddie is drunk, and when Eddie drinks, he thinks of and does stupid things, things that sound good at the moment but will screw him over in the long run.

And Eddie wants nothing to do with you anyway, and it’s not like one half-assed drunken conversation changed that, right?

Eddie’s got a blistering headache and a churning stomach as he stands outside the studio the following day. It’s drizzling, gloomy clouds drooping over the looming buildings of New York, and Eddie always hated this kind of weather; he preferred a full storm over the tease of a shower.

New York has never been Eddie’s favorite place, it’s dirty, and reeks of trash, and the people are shitty, but he likes how easy it is to blend in with the crowd; not many people notice him here, and that’s rare these days.

He’s leaning on the stoop of the building, tiny drops of rain dripping from the portico onto his leather-covered shoulders. A burning cigarette hangs between his fingers as he watches the traffic go by, taking slow puffs to ease his body.

He hardly notices you when you bounce up the stairs until you stand just two steps below him. He glances at you and sees the coffee cups in each of your hands. You extend one out to him, “Would you like one? They accidentally gave me two.” You offer.

And you’re fucking nice. Despite how shitty Eddie has been towards you, you’re still nice to him, and Eddie, for the life of him, can’t stand it. He thinks you’re weird, insane, stupid. Thinks you were probably dropped as a baby more times than anyone can count because there’s no way somebody in their right mind would willingly give him the time of day when he’s treated them as shitty as Eddie has treated you. He nearly ran you over, for Christ's sake.

Still, Eddie doesn’t falter, “No. Probably spit in it on your way here.”

You laugh, and it irks Eddie in a way that makes him want to shiver as if the sound were nails scraping against a chalkboard. He distracts himself with a drag of his cigarette as you say, “I didn’t, but thanks for the idea.”

Eddie grunts in response, focusing on the last of his smoke as you tell him you’ll see him inside before walking up the rest of the stairs. Eddie barely acknowledges you as you pass him, but he acknowledges the sound of something dropping beside his feet. He looks down with pinched eyebrows, eyeing the notebook lying on the wet ground.

It’s your notebook— obviously— he’d know that stupid journal from anywhere. It’s a pale yellow with two leather straps you like to tie in a lousy bow, and Eddie believes it’s an annoying color, but he thinks that has more to do with the fact that you chose it. Mindlessly, Eddie picks it up, shaking off the rainwater before it seeps into the pages, and he turns to give it to you because he’d assumed you realized you dropped it, but you’re gone.

Eddie blinks, eyeing the door and the book in his hands, and Eddie knows he should just follow you and give it back because that’s the right thing to do. Knows he shouldn’t peek inside to see what your mind is like, knows you’d probably kill him because Eddie would do the same if anyone looked into his thousands of journals back home, but his fingers itch, and before he can stop himself, he’s flicking his cigarette bud away, leaning against the building and cracking the front page open.

Eddie’s not sure what he’d expected. Maybe something interesting, like a list of dudes you’ve fucked or some rant about a friend, but Jesus, how much more boring could you get? Grocery lists, reminders to book appointments, dates for work meetings, boring shit that Eddie could care less about. He flicks through nearly half of the book before anything piques his interest, snickering when he comes across a page of you talking about a guy named Danny, “What a sap,” Eddie mumbles to himself, softly chuckling and turning the page.

He flips through a few more pages before halting because Eddie's name is right at the top of the page. 

The door opens, and he jumps, fearing you might be searching for your lost journal, but it’s only a staff member. Eddie watches them trot down the steps before returning to the treasure in his hands, eagerly reading as if the book will turn to dust before he gets a chance.

And Eddie thinks he’s fucked up, screwed up in ways he never really wants to address. Despite Eddie’s outwardly attitude of thinking he’s the best at everything and knows all, there are still ugly parts of him that he so badly wants to reach inside and pull like weeds from a garden, crack his chest open, and take it from the root; pieces of him that can make him crumble quicker than a house of cards on a rickety table. 

However, the way you write about Eddie— the words you use and the so careful placement of each thought— it makes Eddie feel something he forgot he ever could about himself, and he doesn’t like how it makes his insides twist. He hates it. Eddie hates that you can read him as if he’s a fucking children’s book. Hates that you can see and point out parts of him that have been lost for so long he’d thought it was a dream. He can’t stand it. 

But as much as Eddie swears he hates what you’ve written and as much as he hates that it makes him feel something other than disdain, he can’t stop reading. He wants to read all you can say about him and only exist in the imagery you create of him because Eddie, for once in a long time, is someone in your eyes.

You write about Eddie like he is a person, a human being with real feelings and depth and a history of memories you’ve never seen or heard of before, but you still somehow manage to paint him so clearly. Inside your words, Eddie exists as more than the entity that fame has created him to be, and Eddie can’t remember the last time he read something about himself and didn’t feel like a pawn. 

It’s… refreshing.

Eddie flips the page, thinking there will be more you’ve written about him, but he’s selfishly disappointed when he realizes it’s just a personal entry. He scans the page, nearly deciding to close it for the day, when he catches a glimpse of a familiar name— Gareth.

It takes Eddie a moment to fully grasp the words you’ve written, the meaning of what exactly you’re explaining that you’d apparently discussed with Gareth. As soon as he lets the words settle into his chest, he’s storming into the building quicker than he can comprehend.

Bursting through the room of Richie's rented studio, Eddie makes a beeline for the sound booth where Gareth is busy tapping out a steady beat.

Eddie barely acknowledges you and the rest of the band in discussion off to the side, but his abrupt appearance has halted all conversation in the room. He storms up to Gareth behind his drum set and wastes no time gripping the man’s collar, gaze lit with fire and words seething as he leans in and glares down at the man. The room goes silent as soon as the question leaves Eddie’s lips, “Did you fuck Chrissy?”

Chrissy Cunningham was Eddie Munson’s high school sweetheart.

As the story goes, Eddie spent the better part of high school crushing on the cute captain of the cheerleading squad. For as long as he can remember, Eddie had been labeled as the school freak— something to do with his love of fantasy games and ‘odd music taste’— so he’d never imagined he would get a chance with Chrissy, but that all changed after a weird spiral of events they experienced together.

Eddie and Chrissy dated for a few years until Corroded Coffin went big. The long-distance trial of their relationship didn’t last long; Eddie rarely called Chrissy, and when he did call, they could only ever find time to argue about whatever Eddie had been photographed doing. Chrissy never came to watch the band once they moved out to LA, and she broke Eddie's heart the one time she did. 

So, it’s no surprise that reading the words in your journal has twisted the knife that’d been lodged in Eddie’s chest for so long that he was sure he couldn’t feel it anymore— he was wrong.

Gareth is looking at Eddie as if Eddie has asked him if the sky is blue and Eddie’s mind is a whirling wind of fire. “What are you talking about, man?” Gareth’s eyebrows pinch in confusion.

Eddie sneers and pulls him closer, Gareth leaning so far off his stool that Eddie's grip on his shirt is the only thing keeping him from the ground. Gareth drops his drumsticks to grab Eddie’s wrists as Eddie speaks, “Don’t bullshit me, Gareth. Did you fuck Chrissy, yes or no?”

Eddie looks at his best friend, and he sees lies, something he’s never had to associate with their friendship, and it almost hurts him more than what Chrissy did. Gareth stutters, shaking his head as if he wants to say no, tries to say no and deny that he slept with his best friend's girlfriend, but he can’t.

Gareth whispers Eddie’s name so quietly Eddie nearly misses it, but the quiver in his voice is all Eddie needs to hear to know the truth. Eddie doesn’t take a second to think before he cracks a closed fist down on his best friend's cheek, sending him back, crashing into the symbols in a clatter of noise.

He doesn’t wait to hear Gareth’s spew of apologies, and he doesn’t wait to listen to the pathetic excuses he makes up because he’s marching over to you next, a scowl on his face as he tosses your journal into your lap, and you look up at him in shock, “You dropped this on your way in.” 

And if this is the end of Corroded Coffin, then Eddie’s sure you’ll have one hell of a story to write. That’s what you wanted all along, isn’t it?

A good story.

————

a/n: AHH U MADE IT TO THE END, PLS LET ME KNOW HOW U LIKED THIS PART I LOVE TO HEAR UR FEEDBACK, ILY BYE

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cutie lil taglist: @mastermindmiko @whataboutbibi @ryanmxrie @ihatepeanutss @tlclick73 @motherfckerrr @emxxblog @jesssssmaybankk @eddiesguitarskills @bibieddiesgf @chloe-6123 @micheledawn1975

[pacifymebby]

hi, can i request peaky blinders reaction to reader coming out? i'm doing mine today and i'm kinda scared of my friends' reactions :( feel free to ingore my ask if you don't feel comfortable writing it!

Aw hey! First of all I'm sorry i think u sent this last week? Im only just seeing it!!!

I hope your coming out went well and that your friends showed u all their love and support. (u have all my love and support)

I'm bi, but i never had an official coming out I just sorta awkwardly would say gay shit in conversations until people just accepted that i was queer haha.

Tommy

🌿 You've been close with Tommy for a little while, working at Shelby Company Limited. He took a shine to you in a way neither of you really understand... Anyway the point is you feel like you can trust him, and because of that you feel guilty for keeping this a secret

🌿 You're so nervous to tell him and actually he's been thinking you've been being odd all day. You keep looking at him funny, like youre about to say something, like youre really thinking about saying something... But you haven't said anything yet and its beginning to worry him

🌿 So when he feels your eyes on him again he doesnt even look up, he just carries on writing, "alright y/n i can tell youve somet to say so why dont you just say it eh... What is it? You have a problem with how I spoke to Lizzy earlier? You don't like Michael? You think am dealing with these Italians incorrectly? Come on what is it?"

🌿 You're completely stunned and your heart starts racing in a panic as you stumble your way through "what? No i mean... You were pretty harsh on her weren't you but... Wait Michael? What? And I... I don't know how i think you should be... Why would I have an opinion on..." your cheeks are burning as you realise youre losing control of your voice, getting flustered and making a fool of yourself, but worse than that, Tommys looking at you with a smirk on his lips, leaning back in his chair, hands folded over one another on the desk.

🌿 Tommy probably already knows what youre going to tell him, because he has eyes everywhere, and because he himself is observant. Hes seen the way you look at women/men... He knows what you are but he doesn't care. He just wants you to tell him so that he can tell you he doesn't care, that it doesnt effect the way he thinks of you. That you'll always be welcome at the Shelbys.

🌿 Just because he knows doesnt mean he's going to take your moment from you, he doesnt know why but he feels its probably something you need to say out loud, to him, no interruptions. Your sexuality might not be a thing that concerns him or even really interests him but he understands it as an important thing for you, something you need to feel confident taking ownership of... So he just waits quietly.

🌿 When you finally say it he sits quietly still, he nods his head, he lets you believe that this is news to him, he doesnt tell you he already knew.

🌿 "Well," he says calmly, "I'm glad you've got that off your chest y/n, and am touched that you trust me with this information..." he's a little awkwardly formal about it, because he doesnt want to make a big scene or embarass you, but he doesnt want to make you think he isnt bothered...

🌿 "You know who you love, thats your business and nobody elses, and I know the world doesnt understand that yet, but I do, and my family do, and youll always be welcome where the Shelby family are concerned... Youre part of this family y/n, this doesn't change that... "

🌿 Youd feel so relieved and also so loved and accepted. Youre glad Tommy didn't get too dramatic about it, youd been worried he'd get angry at you for having kept it a secret so long... But his calm presence was reassuring and you feel secure.

Alfie

🐻 Alfies noticed you've not been yourself for a few weeks now, hes getting worried about you because you seem much more nervous and mousy than you used to be... He's worried something bad has happened to you that youre trying to hide from him.

🐻 So he calls you into his office one day, gets you where you can't escape him (because every time hes tried to talk to you recently youve managed to avoid a real conversation and ducked away from him)

🐻 You feel like youre in trouble whenever he calls you into his office but you feel worse just now because you probably are in trouble. You can't stop thinking about this big secret youve been hiding. It isn't fair, it shouldn't have to be a secret. Other people don't have to hide when they fall in love...

🐻 Alfie is wearing his usual frown, he looks mean, grumpy, intimidating. "Alright y/n treacle I think you an me need to have a little talk yeah... Just a little one don't worry don't worry i won't keep you long... Know youve probably got somewhere to rush off to, thats all you seem to do these days... Rush off places... Run away from me... Feel like we haven't had a proper conversation in weeks and well you know me... Miserable old sod, spend all me time on me own... Been starting to miss you haven't I treacle so..."

🐻 Youve always been so impressed by the way Alfie can talk and talk and talk his enemies into a nervous sweat but you arent really feeling appreciative of it just now. Actually youre beginning to sweat yourself. Now youee sure you're in trouble.

🐻 But youre not. And Alfie doesnt know... Even though you think he must know, he doesnt have a clue. His concern is completely genuine. He thinks his friend is hiding something, some kind of trouble, and he wants to help you if he can...

🐻 "So come on then treacle, why don't you tell your old pal Alf just what's goin on.. Why ain't you stopping by anymore? Why am I missin you?"

🐻 You think about lying to him but only breifly because you know he will be able to tell.

🐻 And when you do tell him your voice is shaking and you're convinced he's going to turn on you, be digusted, all the negative thoughts youve had about yourself bubble to the surface and you can barely keep it together...but

🐻 He just does a big sigh of relief and youre just looking back at him confused.

🐻 "Well i must say treacle I'm a little relieved..." "W.. What... Alfie I just... That was so hard to tell you and youre... Youre relieved? Why are you relieved? This is..."

🐻 "What? This is what exactly treacle? I hope you aren't going to say bad cause well, you and me both know that that, well that just ain't true is it..."

🐻 He'd give you a whole speech about how you shouldn't think badly of yourself, that your sexuality is completely valid, love is love ect, "its a miserable old world we're doomed to live in, why deny yourself the one joy god gave us eh..."

🐻 "You know I've been worrying about you treacle, i thought something really bad had happened to you... Thought you were caught up in some bad shit... Italians or peaky boys shit you know? But this... Well... Treacle I'm happy for you..." "You're happy for me?" you look back at him a little dumbfounded, still a little shocked hes taking it so well.

🐻 "Thats right, I'm, thats me Alfie yeah, Im happy for you, thats you y/n l/n... I'm happy that you've found some understanding, and I hope that you can find some happiness and peace and... And i hope you stop lookin so worried all the time... Come on, cmere, give your old pal a hug,"

🐻 You're getting bear hugged to hell and back.

Arthur

🍂 I'm not going to lie, Arthur would be confused at first... As in not, what do you mean why are you gay? But more, i don't understand, why are you telling me that?

🍂 Really really tries to say the right thing, says the wrong thing.

🍂 He'd get so flustered because he knows this is a big and important thing you've told him and he needs to say exactly the right thing to show he loves and supports you...

🍂 But he's terrible with words and even though he's trying really hard it's all coming out wrong and he's getting embarassed and confusing himself, tripping over his words and stuff.

🍂 But its lowkey endearing seeing him trying so hard for you, thats always been how you've known arthur cares about something or someone because he gets embarrassed whenever he has to show it.

🍂 He'd tell you that if anyone else doesnt accept you or says anything "homowhatsit" about you, you tell him their name and he'll sort them out. No ones gonna bother you about this.

🍂 He'd end up just giving up, giving you a hug with one of those awkward male clap on the backs, then he'd ask you why you chose to tell him this and not "someone smart like Ada" and when you tell him its because he's your best friend and you needed him to know first he's very touched, gets embarassed all over again. Secretly very proud.

🍂 Probably waits until you've come out to Ada and then goes to her to ask her what he should have said. She laughs at him, tries to tell him he probably said the right things in his own way, but he insists he has to say it properly. So she practices with him and lets him rehearse it with her..

🍂 Then when he tries to take you asside and tell you it all over again he does exactly the same thing as before and messes up all head in hands "sorry love I'm so fuckin stupid with words an you know all this... Feelins like.."

John

🌼 If you're a lass he's definitely making the "what you mean you don't fancy me then? Thought that was the whole basis of our friendship..." joke which makes you roll your eyes and knock him with your elbow.

🌼 If youre a lad, "and youre telling me this because naturally you're in love with me eh...knew it nobody can resist the..." youd cut him off with a shove and a shut up and then he'd laugh and say sorry

🌼 "only messin mate..." as he puts an arm around your shoulder.

🌼 He'd be very supportive of your coming out but he wouldn't want to treat it like it was too "serious" or really acknowledge the dangers it posed to you.

🌼 He wouldn't want to talk to you about those dangers or think about them because deep down he'd be incredibly worried for you and his mind would be working over time to think how he can protect you.

🌼 He'd probably start spending more time with you and you'd end up jokingly reiterating the fact that you don't fancy him he should leave you alone

🌼 But he'd be like "used to spend this much time with you, nothins changed don't be daft"

🌼 Wants to meet any man/woman you start seeing so he can vet them and make sure theyre good enough for you

Bonnie

🍀 Being your best friend he's very in tune with you and he's quite sensitive to a change in your mood or behaviour.

🍀 He's kind of always suspected you might not be straight because its always the girls that seem to get you shy and not the lads. When you're with him and the other lads you're confident and you speak your mind but when one of the pretty girls joins you get quiet, he's caught you starring so many times...

🍀 And so when you tell him he's really really really happy because he's been waiting for so long for you to realise who you are and stop being scared or ashamed of it. He was worried for a long time that you'd keep it secret your whole life and make yourself miserable.

🍀 Literally, youre shaking with nerves and hes just sat there grinning like a stupid little boy on christmas. He can't wipe the smile off his face and why should he? He's so happy for you and so proud of you.

🍀 "Brilliant, thats brilliant, youre a wee star! Brilliant..." you get shy and remind him you havent actually found a girlfriend yet but he completely ignores that point. "Yeah but you will soon won't you youre a heartbreaker in the makin i reckon..."

🍀 He'll get even more protective now when lads hit on you because he knows for certain their advances arent welcome. And once other people start to find out, if anyone says anything, to your face or behind your back Bonnie has the temper to knock them down and make sure they never say anything again.

🍀 He wants to meet anyone youre interested in, hes always trying to wingman you... Just wants you to be happy!

🍀 If he thinks you're crushing on someone he'll tease you about it so badly!

Isaiah

🐀Similar to John, if you're a girl, he's going to make that joke. If you're not and you say he's not your type hes actually going to be a bit offended. Its really going to wound his stupid ego and he'll have to try not to sulk about it.

🐀He obviously isnt making said jokes to belittle or not take you seriously, its friendly teasing, he wants to put you at ease and make you laugh.

🐀 He knows what its like to be a minority though, to have something people treat him like "less" for. So he's empathetic and will stand by you no matter what. He'll make sure you know that it doesn't make you a bad person, that its not you thats the problem.

🐀He knows youre worried about what other people will think so he tells you, "doesn't matter what other people think are gonna think, first thing people see when they see a peaky blinder, is a peaky fuckin blinder..."

🐀Will try to talk to you about women as if he was talking to a lad... Which is embarassing as hell for you and makes you visibly squirm... Which he finds very funny.

🐀He's actually really proud that you chose to tell him first and he gives you advice on how to tell everyone else... Honestly none of its that good, most of it sounds silly or embarrassing...

Michael

☘️ Honestly out of all the blinders i get toxic masculinity/homophobic vibes from Michael the most because he's the only one who hasn't experienced growing up as some kind of prejudiced against person BUT

☘️ I think he'd change for and because of you... See any snide comments he'd ever made, any judgemental things he'd said, he wouldnt ever have thought they were hurting his friend!

☘️ You're genuinely terrified to tell him and jt probably slips out in the messiest way possible... He says something about someone else being an *f slur and you very sharply counter with "whats so bad about that... Dont see how its any of your business is it..."

☘️ He'd get defensive and youd argue about it and when he tries to turn it on you with a "Don't see how its any of your business what i think of..." "Because thats me you're talking about! Every fucking time you say something like that you're hurting me Michael!"

☘️ Teary explanation and him immediately going quiet, guilty, he didn't realise and he feels terrible for hurting you like that.

☘️ It might take him a day but he'd apologise to you, he'd tell you that he might not understand but he wants to be there for you, it doesnt make you a bad person, nothing could stop him from loving and caring about you... He will probably really uncomfortably admit that its his problem and not yours

☘️ And then he'll be your biggest cheerleader and defender, he'll support you as best he can, he'll become a better less judgemental person, driven to become kinder because of you and realising how wrong he was before.

☘️ It will take time but even in the awkward beginning he wont let you doubt his love/care for you as a friend.

☘️ "You're still my best friend y/n you always fuckin will be and nothings gonna change that, and anyone... Anyone at all ever says any of that shit I used to come out with, to you or about you, I'll fuckin kill em..."

☘️ The way hes suddenly the fastest to shoot down other peoples homophobia. If he sees Isaiah or someone else laugh at a homophobic joke he'll shove/hit them to shut them up.

☘️ He can tell when you're crushing on someone and will be fucking brutal about making you talk to that person. Coming up to you at parties and lightly bullying you into flirting with them.

☘️ "You going to stand here staring whistfully at them all night or are you gonna grow up and talk to them?"