#.... ill try to draw something else tomorrow i promise

[oifaaa]

You would be the Patron Saint of Fanart!

I just checked to see how long it's been since I uploaded some fanart and yikes you sure you want to make me the patron Saint of that

[charrfie]

hi!! handing you a spamton for your travels /silly

NO WAY

[ashenquill]

IT'S SCAR TIME BABAEYYYY HERE COME THE (head)CANONS

He's my favorite which means he suffers the most so this post is a little bit of a downer, not gonna lie. But there's silly stuff in there too I promise!!11!

Scar's full name is Scar Conn Goodtimes. You may be asking yourself: what kind of name is that? How is his middle name con? What kind of parent would do that to their child? WELL, the answer is BECAUSE I SAID SO. Idk I just thought it would be goofy if convex had the middle names "con" and "vex". Soooo yeah lol

As far as origins and backstory are concerned, Scar is half vex and half elf. His mother was a vex hybrid, and had two kids, Cub and Scar (I'll post about Cub tomorrow probably). They're technically half-brothers, but they don't really care enough to talk about the logistics of it. As far as they (and everyone else, atp) are concerned, they're just brothers. Plain and simple.

Scar and Cub grew up without their parents, and were primarily raised by their maternal grandmother, the only human in their family. She taught them anything she knew about their mother, their fathers, and their magic. Thus, Scar and Cub practiced with their vex magic until they were finally able to properly wield it. (Vex magic has many capabilities, especially among family members, but the primary way it manifests is by having a particular trait that it can amplify. Scar, for example, can amplify someone or something's strength.) Scar had a tougher time with it, and it often backfired on him. That, combined with him being incredibly accident-prone, is how he ended up suiting his name so well.

In his late teens, Scar sustained an injury that caused major nerve damage and hindered his ability to walk, but with his magic he was still able to walk with the help of mobility aids (such as canes and crutches, and after a few years, a wheelchair). He refused to believe that it was irreversible, and when Cub made him a set of magic-powered walking braces, he thought his problems were solved. But that is not how chronic pain/illness works, even in a world with magic. So, he still uses a variation of aids, but the braces have to be used sparingly, as they draw from his magic and tire him out more quickly. That's why he mostly uses them when he's HOTGUY YEAH THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS A SUPERHERO AU.

Hotguy was hired by King Ren to head the Royal Guard and protect the city (and the king) from "nefarious evildoers". Of course, he mostly uses it as an excuse to play superhero, to which Cub is unwittingly dragged into. He's Scar's "guy in the chair", and even though he mostly just complains about Scar taking unnecessary risks, they both know he loves it.

More fun facts:

Smells earthy, like grass & pine trees

Hybrid: elf & vex (mixed) ((I’m not projecting you are))

Street smart - Special knowledge of city layout, people-pleasing, manipulation tactics

Likes: coffee (only drinks black coffee on bad days, usually gets something sweet and fun, he's totally a pumpkin spice latte girly), bird-watching, movies, theme parks, cooking/baking

Dislikes: golf (he goes with Cub anyway), reading

Passions: justice/fairness, nature (landscaping, birds), Scarland 

Habits/other details: skin-picks, eats water (with a spoon)

Active in his environment - takes advantage of being overlooked, sort of dejected/resigned to ableism against himself (but never others), not usually aggressive but might try to control situations in other ways, good at finding out information but doesn’t always think to do so

Special, plot-relevant skills: archery, charisma 500, magic = strength

Terrible sleep schedule, somehow a morning person

I love him dearly so I sometimes make bad things happen to him this is just the basic law of author projection <3

[agustdenovo]

Eye of the Storm (Yoongi's POV.)

➻ pairing: hyyh yoongi x hyyh jungkook AKA min cein x jeon jeha

➻ genre: hyyh!au, based in the bangtan universe, pure angst bc is it ever anything else with these two? 😭

➻ summary: Yoongi can't live without Jung Kook. Yet, the only sensible thing to do is push him away, he tells himself.

➻ wordcount: 573

➻ released: 21st of june, 2024.

➻ author’s note: my first published work here hsjfshds this was honestly just something i wrote on a whim!! but!! i hope i've done these two justice, hyyh makes me bawl every 2-3 business days :')

disclaimer: i do not ship any of the actual bts members with each other, nor will i ever in the future. this is about hyyh yoonkook, characters from the BU, NOT the bts members yoongi and jungkook.

crossposted to ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56794450

I am a whirlwind of destruction. A tsunami batters my heart, my head is ravaged by perpetual sandstorms and yet no force of nature can hope to inflict even an atom’s worth of damage as I have done so already.

I am a storm, and Jung Kook is right in the eye of mine. He stands there, unflinching, and I, like a coward, decide to abandon him once more.

The light in his eyes makes me violently ill.

“Why didn’t you go see Jung Kook? Don’t you know what you mean to him?”

He said my music makes him want to live. I can’t steal that away from him.

I know what I mean to him. Of course I do, which is why I can’t let him stay. He has stars in his eyes, and I pluck them right out with the coarse words climbing up my throat, leaving my lips like dry lumps of coal. And despite every bone in my body yearning to see his teeth peek out in that smile of his again, I shirk his gaze. He calls me hyung. I call him something far worse.

I can’t tell if I’m the pathetic one for always leaving, or Jung Kook for always staying. My arms are tattered with his claw marks from all the times he refused to let me go. They’re my favourite scars. I rub my arms raw, trying to make them disappear.

“Go home, Jung Kook.”

Futile. Streamers of light from his eyes wrap around me, trapping me, glueing my feet to the ground. No diamonds can even hope to compare with his, twinkling in his waterline from the misty yellow and blue lights from nearby skyscrapers.

I curse. I yell at him to go away, but he refuses to budge. His conviction is almost as strong as my anger.

Or maybe he’s just as stupid as me, because he walks over and gives me a hug; like he isn’t the Sun itself. And I, the Moon, foolishly orbiting Terra when my existence revolves around a star.

Warmth seeps into the crevices of my heart. Jung Kook wants to save a man cursed from his very creation. Cursed to cycles of dolour, a samsara of misery. Yet, I can’t muster up the energy to push him off. His arms around me feel like relief and torture all in one. Liquid drips onto my neck. Fruitless to ponder upon its source.

Only after a long minute does he let go. I stare into red-rimmed eyes. My voice sounds unfamiliar when I choke out the same words again, and I clench my fists until my jagged nails draw blood.

“Go home.”

Tonight seems like a good night for a stiff drink. I wonder if the corner store will still be open at this time, instead of thinking about the crestfallen look on Jung Kook’s face. No matter how many times I cause it, it will never cease feeling as if a dagger were twisted into my very soul.

“Promise me you’ll come see me tomorrow.”

I turn and walk away, before Jung Kook can say more.

Maybe if I pretend he isn’t there, he’ll leave and not foolishly come back, for once.

Maybe then I won’t be forced to spit out grimy words and act like it isn’t killing me, for once.

Maybe, that way, I’ll be able to save Jung Kook from my cursed fate, for ever.

[edenmemes]

horizon zero dawn starters

❝  you can sense it. you already know you’re going to lose.  ❞ ❝  did you want to be alone?  ❞ ❝  you wouldn’t be so eager to speak with me if you knew me.  ❞ ❝  that will draw attention. we won’t have this place to ourselves for long now.  ❞ ❝  it’s a world worth fighting for. not just here. everywhere.  ❞ ❝  trying to live up to glorious pasts has a way of getting people killed.  ❞ ❝  never celebrate a victory before it’s earned.  ❞ ❝  i crave vengeance. do you?  ❞ ❝  my comrades weren’t so lucky. i might shed a tear, if they weren’t all cutthroats and cheaters.  ❞ ❝  i’ll always have a minute for you. maybe even two.  ❞ ❝  you walk on the edge of life and death. i can tell.  ❞ ❝  what is a gift but an award you did not earn?  ❞ ❝  so many voices to listen to, it must make your head hurt. i promise my voice will be soft and soothing.  ❞ ❝  i wish i could borrow some of your courage now.  ❞ ❝  i’ve always wondered. are all your kind hunters and fighters, or just a few?  ❞ ❝  no one doubts your determination. but you need to rest.  ❞ ❝  a bold claim. i wonder if you’ll live up to it.  ❞ ❝  why would someone name a knife?  ❞ ❝  so you’re alive ! we should celebrate! drinks on me!  ❞ ❝  try not to forget me, while you’re out there saving the world.  ❞ ❝  when we spoke earlier, you winced, then looked like you were in pain - or frightened.  ❞ ❝  i’m really not one for crowds.  ❞ ❝  so - how are we gonna do that? oh, wait, i forgot. we won’t. i do all the dangerous stuff.  ❞ ❝  i knew there was something about you. hammered from the stuff they make leaders out of.  ❞ ❝  no matter what happens, i will not intervene. do you understand? you are on your own.  ❞ ❝  it’s always a pain in the neck when you show up, girl, one way or another.  ❞ ❝  you’re bleeding, let me have a look. here, hold still.  ❞ ❝  just don’t think this means i enjoy it.  ❞ ❝  i don’t want to jinx it, but we might be in the clear.  ❞ ❝  when i start a fuss, i like to finish it.  ❞ ❝  i promise to look solemn at your funeral before i hit the bar.  ❞ ❝  what could go wrong? turns out, a lot.  ❞ ❝  let me come with you! i won’t be a bother. i know how to stay out of sight.  ❞ ❝  now i’m supposed to fill ____’s shoes. and instead, here i am, stumbling around in them.  ❞ ❝  we need to talk - alone. and you need to pull it together.  ❞ ❝  i guess growing up means putting what you should do in front of what you want to do, right?  ❞ ❝  oh, are you going to shut your mouth now? because that would be a surprise.  ❞ ❝  i will come to you in secret. no one will see me, so i won’t get in trouble.  ❞ ❝  it looks like something chewed you up and spat you out.  ❞ ❝  these are the true wilds, with threats unlike any you have ever faced.  ❞ ❝  that moment the door opened and you were standing there, and the way you smiled... i had to look away or you were going to see. on my face. what had just... blossomed inside me, you know?  ❞ ❝  i’m not afraid of you - i’m not afraid of anything.  ❞ ❝  stop being evasive? you might as well tell me to stop being charming. it’s impossible.  ❞ ❝  what a waste. at least he died better than he lived.  ❞ ❝  i’ve been looking up at the stars a lot, and the only story i see written across them is that we are small and insignificant and will soon disappear with hardly a trace left behind. it’s a hard story, and i don’t like it much..  ❞ ❝  if i’m going to stand for something, it’ll have to be something i believe in.  ❞ ❝  the strength to stand alone, is the strength to make a stand.  ❞ ❝  soon it’ll all seem familiar. like home.  ❞ ❝  now i see that i was just lucky to get a minute of your time.  ❞ ❝  i know my duty to them - and to you. i’m here. and wherever you go...i will follow.  ❞ ❝  you're really good at making it impossible to like you.  ❞ ❝  i’ve missed our little talks.  ❞ ❝  will change happen at all, while men live in palaces?  ❞ ❝  confidence is quiet. you’re not.  ❞ ❝  you’re not a very convincing liar.  ❞ ❝  i already have all the friends i need. i don’t need the bother.  ❞ ❝  all right, cool your fire. i got nothing to hide.  ❞ ❝  i see you don’t recognize me. well, it was a long time ago.  ❞ ❝  you will turn back - or bleed. your choice.  ❞ ❝  when we met, i thought i was a big shot talking to a pretty girl hidden away in the middle of nowhere.  ❞ ❝  you would speak ill of the dead? truly you have no shame.  ❞ ❝  truth is, i get lonely once in awhile. there. i admitted it. don’t think less of me.  ❞ ❝  do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?  ❞ ❝  but i don’t know anyone here.  ❞ ❝  come on, stop. you’re going to make me tear up.  ❞ ❝  i feel like i should drop to my knees and worship you.  ❞ ❝  think i’m done? think again. i’ve gotten out of worse scrapes.  ❞ ❝  it’s hard to imagine where we’d be without you - and i don’t want to try.  ❞ ❝  if we’re to fight together on the brink of life and death, i’d prefer to do so with your forgiveness.  ❞ ❝  trust is for fools. it shifts and crumbles like sand.  ❞ ❝  what will you do while i risk my life?  ❞ ❝  you can smile, can’t you? ...no, that’s a grimace.  ❞ ❝  you killed that demon...pulled its guts from the carcass!  ❞ ❝  the sooner you’re gone from here, the better.  ❞ ❝  for now, all you need to know is that i’m a whisper of reason in this howling pit of insanity.  ❞ ❝  i heard the rumors, but i didn’t know for sure until saw you just now. i’m glad to see you’re okay.  ❞ ❝  no barrier can now stay you from your sacred task.  ❞ ❝  i won’t deny i risked your life. but it was the only way.  ❞ ❝  they can’t shoot if they’re dead. keep them busy, i’ll find an angle.  ❞ ❝  comforts are weakness.  ❞ ❝  as for honor, sacrifice-- true sacrifice, the kind rulers know nothing of -- it’s all a fat joke.  ❞ ❝  i’ve been sharpening my blade, anticipating the scent of the fight.  ❞ ❝  you’re not just a traveler. that armor was fitted for you. and the way you hold your bow...  ❞ ❝  i’d expect to see some tomatoes fly, maybe rocks. hopefully not spears. in any case, be ready to duck.  ❞ ❝  i’m not here for the price on your head.  ❞ ❝  for a moment, i was a child again, rapt from stories told by hunters at the campfire.  ❞ ❝  this...attachment to me will only hold you back.  ❞ ❝  whatever you do, don’t let their shabby looks fool you! they’ll kill you as soon as look at you.  ❞ ❝  i’m doing what i love. and what could be wrong with that?  ❞ ❝  when the arrowhead passes between armor and skin - that’s the place i belong.  ❞ ❝  right. why would i expect an answer? it’s so much more exciting to keep it all a mystery...  ❞ ❝  oh, it’s a story all right, but it takes a while to tell. maybe another time, over a drink or three?  ❞ ❝  why are you talking like we’ll never see each other again?  ❞ ❝  i’ll wager you don’t scare easy - it’s a good quality.  ❞ ❝  there will be people celebrating, and feasting. more than you've ever see in one place.  ❞ ❝  i didn’t bring you here to answer questions. i brought you here to deal with that.  ❞ ❝  ...you’ve...put a lot of thought into this.  ❞ ❝  i do not want to hear this talk from you again. doubt is heavier than a week’s snow.  ❞ ❝  bandits are drawn to here like infection to a wound.  ❞ ❝  i guess you’re doing the right thing for the wrong reason.  ❞ ❝  i thought you and i were agreed: only enjoy the killing as much as the challenge.  ❞ ❝  rumors spread like blood.  ❞ ❝  they would steal from us, chase us through the night, laughing.  ❞ ❝  leave it too long, your fingers itch for the bowstring.  ❞ ❝  you’re strong, shrewd, capable... i could use someone like you on my side.  ❞ ❝  you defeated it? alone?  ❞ ❝  grasp your grief. and kill it.  ❞ ❝  at least i’ll have a fire to keep me company.  ❞ ❝  only survivors scar. after everything you’ve been through, you keep going.  ❞ ❝  just stop being evasive and tell me who you really are.  ❞ ❝  i don’t mind putting my worthless ass on the line. but not yours.  ❞ ❝  i’m not here to intrigue you.  ❞ ❝  how about you? who do you think i am? what will you remember of me? ❞ ❝  everything freezing. the ground, the air... me.  ❞ ❝  you lost someone you care about. that leaves a wound. the sort of wound a lot of people don’t recover from.  ❞ ❝  the only thing i know i’m still fighting for is...you.  ❞ ❝  i didn’t earn this mercy, but i will die to make myself worthy of it.  ❞ ❝  to say you have my gratitude feels woefully insufficient. you saved my life.  ❞ ❝  makes you wish you could kill them more than once, doesn’t it?  ❞ ❝  why did you act so strange when we spoke earlier?  ❞ ❝  being smart won’t count for nothing if you don’t make the world a better place.  ❞ ❝  to serve a purpose greater than yourself...that is the lesson you must learn.  ❞ ❝   if a big, meaningful talk is what you’re after, move along.  ❞ ❝  that carcass! what sort of beast was that?  ❞ ❝  what are you doing out here all alone? where are your men?  ❞ ❝  you’ve obviously heard of me. you know what i’m capable of. why do you think this will turn out well for you?  ❞ ❝  there’s so much to discover before the world ends.  ❞ ❝  i couldn’t wait to see you again. it’s like...i’m dead and only come alive when i’m here with you.  ❞ ❝  some even say you have a conscience. how extraordinary!  ❞ ❝  do you always accuse people you’ve just met of lying?  ❞ ❝  if you ever visit, look me up. i’ll show you around, make introductions. it’d be a whole new life, if you want it.  ❞ ❝  it had a name once, not that it matters now. i was born there.  ❞ ❝  i always knew you were different... i think you’re a blessing.  ❞ ❝  no one hears your prayers anyway.  ❞ ❝  this place is difficult even for the prepared.  ❞ ❝  i underestimated you. i won’t make that same mistake again.  ❞ ❝  oh. is that supposed to sound scary or something?  ❞ ❝  look, maybe i shouldn’t say this, but it’s obvious that you don’t belong in this... backwater.  ❞ ❝  were you kept hidden away? did you have overprotective parents or something?  ❞ ❝  hmph. don’t go soft on me.  ❞ ❝  i prefer the company of spirits. or my own.  ❞ ❝  blood spilled calls for blood spilled! if the ground is cursed, then let our vengeance sanctify it.  ❞ ❝  so many people here, all talking at once. how does anyone think?  ❞ ❝  why is it that every time something bad happens to you, someone else tells you something bad that happened to them, as if that makes it any better?  ❞ ❝  i’ve never seen armor like yours.  ❞ ❝  the wrongness here jags at me like an arrowhead.  ❞ ❝  when you found me, i was trying to eke out a glorious death. but now a glorious life seems more preferable.  ❞ ❝  tomorrow, may the sun rise on the world.  ❞ ❝  you saved my epitaph from being ‘a fine soldier but a fool of a man’.  ❞ ❝  i don’t think i know you at all. but i’d like to.  ❞ ❝  i don’t like this. it feels...wrong.  ❞ ❝  oh, i’m grateful for this wound. it’s a lesson i won’t forget.  ❞ ❝  you’re a clever one. but not so clever as to heed my warning, i see.  ❞ ❝  not everyone follows the law like you do.  ❞ ❝  how many times have i pulled you from danger by your neck? made excuses for your behavior?  ❞ ❝  for what it’s worth, i’m glad you’re coming with me.  ❞ ❝  what have i ever given you but struggle?  ❞ ❝  it’s starting to feel real, you know? that we might actually get out of this place.  ❞ ❝  i’ve never been part of anything. i serve my own interests. always.  ❞ ❝  i apologize for my...behavior. i thought i was dead.  ❞ ❝  look, i don’t even know your story. must be a good one. if you ever feel like telling it, look me up.  ❞ ❝  when my anger has thawed, i will feel nothing.  ❞ ❝  i can’t remember when i had this much fun! i should be thanking you!  ❞ ❝  you gave him a quicker death than he deserved.  ❞ ❝  that...could be the last creepy thing you’ve said to me.  ❞ ❝  something’s really bothering you. if you think i’m gonna abandon you, you’re wrong.  ❞ ❝  surprised you saw me, the way you keep looking every other direction to make sure no one’s watching. careful there, or you’ll sprain your neck.  ❞ ❝  remember how the blood pounded in your ears? they’ll ring later, in the calm. it’s a call to arms, from your inner desires.  ❞ ❝  ___’s dead. i was ready to go through anything to make that happen. and i did.  ❞ ❝  is there a reason why you’re acting so cranky today?  ❞ ❝  you hold your grief close, like a tailsman.  ❞ ❝  i hope you can find peace.  ❞ ❝  you don’t know who i am, do you?  ❞ ❝  you know there’s always been dirt on my hands. now there’s blood too.  ❞ ❝  i want to be strong like you. but...  ❞ ❝  i hadn’t given up on hope, but i’ve forgotten the taste of it.  ❞ ❝  just...don’t start singing again.  ❞ ❝  you’re sparing me? after all i’ve done?  ❞ ❝  i don’t intend to die today.  ❞ ❝  it will take many good deeds to make up for the crimes you’ve committed.  ❞ ❝  but why should you have justice, and not me?  ❞ ❝  such a voice... a cold, awful jangle that scrapes your bones and hollows your guts.  ❞ ❝  one more word, and i’ll throw you in jail myself.  ❞ ❝  only in the struggle against death do we find, even for a moment, the spark of life.  ❞ ❝  the war changed you. changed us both. we’re not kids anymore.  ❞ ❝  i can’t sleep, i can’t breathe knowing you could be out there...hurting...  ❞ ❝  now i’m left to wear my sins. for me, at least, they hang heavy.  ❞       ❝  but what does a girl like you know of loss?  ❞ ❝  it’s a good thing you’ve got brains. because your personality could use some work.  ❞ ❝  i was going to ask you to leave with me...to go somewhere out in the sun where no shadow could reach us.  ❞ ❝  they didn’t need to disgrace my name. i did it myself, serving a rotten throne. ❞ ❝  you don’t approve? well, i have a secret for you. neither do i.  ❞ ❝  perhaps you are not an evil man. just a weak one.  ❞ ❝  losses can feel... overwhelming. but they remind us of our connections to others.  ❞ ❝  i don’t exactly see anyone beating down the door to spend time with you.  ❞ ❝  if i had known, i would never have spoken to you.  ❞ ❝  forge a new life. one of better make.  ❞ ❝  impossible odds, fine company, killing without consequence --- how could i resist?  ❞ ❝  look at me. i can’t imagine how you’re feeling, but you don’t have to go through it alone.  ❞ ❝  i wish i had known, all this time, what you were going through.  ❞ ❝  i’m with you. until the end.  ❞ ❝  i thought you just wanted to have tea and conversation! is there a battle coming? i wasn’t informed!  ❞ ❝  we’ve only met a few times, and yet you know me so well.  ❞ ❝  are you going to drive me off, too? it’s okay. i’ve dealt with worse.  ❞ ❝  now i know the kind of person i want to be, watching you.  ❞ ❝  it’s so...bittersweet. like a smile through bloodied teeth.  ❞ ❝  i swear i saw my ancestors... they said: ‘we’re not surprised to see you here’.  ❞ ❝  more mercenaries? what kind of person sells their loyalty?  ❞ ❝  keep moving or you’ll die!  ❞ ❝  this is the kind of place you’d take someone if you want to lose them forever.  ❞ ❝  if that’s destiny, i wouldn’t wish it on anyone.  ❞ ❝  i’ve thought about what you said. every time, the wound you gave me caught on my ribs.  ❞ ❝  i’ve never seen such disregard for personal safety.  ❞ ❝  the most important thing is what you’re not like - your father.  ❞ ❝  i’m never lonely where there’s killing to be done.  ❞ ❝  my past - and my secrets - are my own. you’ll do well to remember that.  ❞ ❝  only to you do i extend the courtesy of a warning.  ❞ ❝  if the war’s not over, i’m not done.  ❞ ❝  a long kiss, the best kind... i can still remember the feel of your hand on the back of my neck.  ❞ ❝  it would be a worse fate to bow our heads to the challenge and say, ‘too much’.  ❞ ❝  let’s not say farewell. i’ve had enough of that to last me a dozen winters.  ❞ ❝  have your wounds even had time to heal?  ❞ ❝  you can stop worrying. the secret’s safe with me.  ❞ ❝  just to be clear, i have no plans to murder you, alright?  ❞ ❝  you’re an idiot. a dangerous idiot, but an idiot.  ❞ ❝  i’m kicking myself for not seeing your potential from the beginning.  ❞ ❝  for your sake, you must go where you will never find me. this is goodbye.   ❞ ❝  so that’s what this is? a tantrum? a cry for attention?  ❞ ❝  change won’t come in a single sunrise.  ❞ ❝  this place may not seem like much, but we’ll make the best of it.  ❞ ❝  no murderers here, if that’s what you’re asking.  ❞

[wizkiddx]

...surprise part 3

{part1} {part 2}

I got there in the end!!!! sorry I felt like this dragged quite a lot but just quite happy to get it done ahah. Any feedback / advice would be greatly appreciated :)

TW: this is pretty heavy angst, miscarriages / thoughts of self harm / death pls don't read if this could strike a cord x 

Summary: Y/n has absolutely not a clue how to tell Tom and that only strains the both incredibly. 

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The drive home was deathly silent. Tom’s Audi seamlessly drove down the near-empty roads on a sleepy Sunday evening. The whole time Y/n sat with one leg curled up by her chest as she absently stared out of the passenger window. Honestly, though, she was not taking anything of the view in, all processing power in her brain was in overdrive. Souly focused on how the fuck she was going to tell Tom what she had done. She knew Tom kept glancing over at her, with the panicked hint to his eyes- no matter how comforting he was trying to appear. His grip on the steering wheel was every tightening, he felt as though right now that was the only control he had. Still with no idea what was going on - but this time his mum knew too. And his mum when she came to get him from the living was not calm either.

Something he always admired about his mum was how cool she was in a crisis. Even if Paddy likened her to the ’rage monster’ at times when she was pissed because he’d left the freezer door open, or something equally as stupid, when it came down to it, when there was a really serious issue… she was composed. Calm and collected. So when she came in and called Tom, taking him away from his brothers, he could tell something was wrong by the look in her eye. She was upset, that was clear to him, but there was something more. It wasn’t straight up panic (not like if Y/n had passed out or something) but it was… it was a quiet urgency.

It meant it was bad.

Without the need to ever consider it, Tom knew this wasn’t anything to do with Y/n being unfaithful. It hadn’t even crossed his mind. And that meant, something must've happened personally to Y/n - which maybe scared him even more. If it was a betrayal of him, that would principally hurt Tom himself - which would kill him, but he would deal with it. It was the fear of the unknown and the complete powerlessness in this situation that had Tom wishing the drive away so he’d finally understand.

The drive felt painstakingly long for Tom… yet far too short for Y/n to come up with a plan.

When the pair finally pulled into the driveway, they both didn’t even exchange glances before heading out the car and slamming the doors shut. The crunch of their shoes on the gravel path to the front door was deafeningly loud as Tom fished the keys out of his pocket - this time with a sense of dread that contrasted so strongly the excitement he’d felt less than 24 hours ago doing the exact same thing.

Tom held the door open for her, as she fiddled with the cuff of her sleeve; eyes still glued to the floor. He flicked on the light to illuminate the hall as she slipped off her shoes. He mirrored her action and then for the first time since his parents' house looked her in the eye. Just that action had him near spilling his guts about how worried he was about her, before Y/n beat him to it.

“I’m…I’m gonna take a shower.”

And it had him floored. How could she just ignore the bloody massive and luminous elephant in the room? He couldn’t even respond, his brain was so confused as to what the fuck was going on. So she just nodded smally and headed straight upstairs. Leaving him in a stupor by the doorway.

Meanwhile, Y/n was just about holding it together until she got behind the locked door of their ensuite. Then it broke. She broke.

She pulled the clothes that drowned her off frantically, scratching and grabbing until the garments ripped off her body and were thrown across the room in haste. In the mirror, the reflection of the person that stood there somewhat had her transfixed. Tilting her head to the side, Y/n took careful steps up toward it - her eyes transfixed on her exposed abdomen. She was hollow. So very empty and it had her hypnotised. How barely weeks ago she was growing a real human inside there - creating something that should’ve gone onto laugh and smile and grow and learn. And love.

Now she was empty.

The poor thing though had been so deprived by their own mother; so unwanted and hated. They had been starved of all love by the person who was supposed to love them the most. The person who was supposed to be half their world for the first few years at least.

It was her fault.

Y/n hated herself, heck she wanted to punish herself for what she’d done. And yet, there was something so pure about her stomach, about where that angel had been. She wanted to punch herself, to kick and hurt, to make her feel pain. Except for this little life force, or the remnants of them - had her respecting it. Instead, she gently rubbed her stomach, which was flat rather than full like it should’ve been, and yet it felt like a relief. At a snail's pace, she trailed the tips of her finger across her belly just drawing (what she thought were) random patterns - however to anyone else they would have noticed the silhouette of a small human.

She took her time int the shower, having the water close to blisteringly hot but not quite there - using it as an attempt to purge her body of the thoughts, of the guilt. Eventually, though she couldn’t drag out the bathroom routine any longer, she had to go and face him. In reality, Y/n was well aware of how unfair this was on Tom - he had been terrified on the way back here, she knew that. But the thought of admitting to him this truly abhorrent thing she’d done, selfishly she didn’t want to tell him tonight. Just one more night sharing a bed with him, one morning of seeing his puffy eyes and bed hair, one last time hearing his gruff morning voice. Before he found out the real her and before he left.

Thankfully, when she finally drew the courage to unlock the door and leave her sanctuary, their bedroom was empty and she took that opportunity. As fast as she possibly could, Y/n changed into an old nightshirt before huddling under the covers. Tom had been so careful with her feelings today, he might just leave her be. Delay the conversation till tomorrow. It was the dream.

And dreams don’t come true.

Tom walked in, she could hear the soft pad of his feet on the cream carpet as she tried to act fast asleep - regulating her breathing and relaxing every muscle she could. When in fact that the whole process was the opposite of relaxing, she was on such high alert, waiting for a sign of him leaving her alone for the evening. Quite expectedly though, it didn’t quite go down that way. She heard him sigh, felt him sit on his side of the bed as her body rippled with the dip on the bed, felt his eyes piercing her.

“Y/n…” the tone of his voice had her wincing internally, he was hurting. “Y/n please… just talk to me?” She was too scared to move. “ I know your awake Y/n we both know who’s the actor here” Y/n knew Tom was trying to lighten the mood, trying to make her feel a bit more comfortable but then he switched back to an underlying hint of desperation. “Please talk to me.” She didn’t have a choice, he wasn't going to let up - Y/n could tell. So she rolled over and opened her eyes facing him.

“I’m tired, Tom. Can we do this tomorrow?” His face completely morphed and she knew she fucked up. He wasn’t upset or worried or scared any more.

“I’m sorry but that is not fair.”

“Please just-“

“NO. ah” He sighed, as if disciplining himself for the instinctive angry tone. “Look- I-I’ve been going at your pace. I’ve been treading on eggshells all day. I didn’t want to push you but I’m bloody terrified! I mean you told my mum! And she’s worried so that means I’m even more stressed and-…. Just please Y/n. You know I’d never judge you I’m just worried because I care.”

And just like that, she didn’t have a choice. She was really hurting the man she loved.

As a result, Y/n pushed herself up into a sitting position, still hugging the duvet around her in a protective blanket as she looked into his glassy eyes. It tore her heart out.

“I’m really sorry” she pursed her lips blowing out an exhale, trying to collect all her thoughts, feelings and emotions together. “I’ve been trying to all day but-.. it’s just I’m finding this really hard to express in words.”

“I don’t mind if it takes all night, just I-I want to understand.” He was just too kind and she didn’t deserve it. So picking at the duvet while pulling her legs closer in protection she nodded.

“Okay, so-so I just take you through it chronologically? And-and then I can go to Y/f/n’s place so.”

“Why would you got to hers?” He asked, his eyebrows drawn tightly together in confusion. He knew you hadn’t been unfaithful - his mum most definitely wouldn’t have reacted in the way she did had Y/n betrayed Tom.

“Just… just listen first.” She didn’t want to answer that question, to speak it into existence. Him kicking her out, in a rage of fury and anger at how evil she could be. She thought he’d just reply and accept it, not feel the need to calm her.

“I could never ever hate you Y/n please, it’s a bit insulting to me that you think I would.”

His words had her a little shocked - she had definitely not expected that reaction. His offence.

“Umm okay just… just don’t promise till you hear.” He gave her a stern look, not enough to make her back down or change her mind from what she thought was inevitable. “So. So it was when you were away. You’d just gone to Atlanta I think and-and I woke up one morning and was sick and it was weird I don’t know… um so I took the day off but I was okay until the next morning and-and I was sick again. It was weird so I took the next day off because you know Elliot I work with? He’s-he's got some broken immune system or something so we really can’t go in if we are ill. But I was fine until the next morning again and-and then it kind of hit me. I hadn’t had a period in ages and-and yeah.”

“Your pregnant?” Tom asked, trying to wrap his head around the current situation and what she was saying.

“Was…” Her voice wavered and she paused a second “ I-I was. I was shocked you know? We…we weren’t ready.” Y/n shifted uncomfortably, pushing herself closer to the headboard. “You said you didn’t want kids now and I mean … we- we are barely adults ourself right? It-it was so stupid but I couldn’t tell you could I?… Phone you up and say by the way I’m pregnant with a kid you don’t want!...” She dared to look at him, only for a second, seeing the way he just stared at her as though transfixed. She couldn’t keep looking at him.

“So I was waiting till you would get back … er next week, well when you were supposed to be back anyway.” She scoffed lightly at that, how the whole entire situation had been completely flipped on its head. “I would have had the scan then. And-and I went and it so stupid because they were a blob but-shit. They were so beautiful.” She hadn’t even noticed, suddenly absorbed in what she was saying but Tom leant over to grab one of her hands because it was trembling so vigorously. It wasn’t that he wanted to comfort her, he needed to. Because really? When it mattered, he hadn’t and that was already eating away at him.

“And I stupidly…. So fucking stupidly… I thought what if? I got excited and in my head… I don’t fucking know I just thought that I-it, it might work. I really - really thought it could work.” She couldn’t feel it but Tom wormed his arm around her shoulder, squeezing her into his side. “But by that point, I’d already filled them with so much hate. I wanted them out for so long and…and then I just- well I got what I thought I wanted.”

For the first time since she started her speech, Y/n wasn’t absorbed in retelling the story. Noticing her position with Toms arms protectively wrapped around her, she dared to look up into his eyes. And they weren’t right. It was wrong. Because here he was still looking at her with these incredibly soft warm brown eyes, his thumb rubbing up and down on the back of her shoulder blade.

“Love, I’m so so sorry.”

She was bemused. What the hell was he doing? Was this just a double bluff, acting all soft before he was about to rip her heart out - even if it was what she deserved, that was exceptionally cruel?

“No Tom your not listening. I-I couldn’t keep your baby alive! I-I wished them away… I wanted them gone!” Now she was plainly hysterical, shouting and yelling at Tom as her hands shook.

It broke Tom’s heart. He knew this was his fault - at least a little. Clearly, she should never have been in a position to have to deal with this herself, that was obvious. And it made him guilty… but what hit harder? She had very clearly implied she was worried about his reaction, he should never have let her worry. Because Tom knew he loved Y/n unconditionally, at this point that should be a given - for all he cared there was nothing, within the limits of reason, she could do that would make him seriously reconsider his opinion of her. Even then, if his opinion were ever forced to change so dramatically... he still knew he wouldn’t be able to stop loving her. Loving isn't an option, it is not a choice. You helplessly surrender yourself to it. And yet she was apparently less sure of this fact.

“I’m so sorry you had to deal with this by yourself.” And he meant it. He truly meant it. However, Y/n was not having it at all - in her state, in her frame of mind, this was him just torturing her; acting it out only to break her heart. His words and her position wrapped protectively in his arms dawned on her. It had her leaping up from the bed, tears streaming down her face as she gestured wildly.

“Tom that’s not fair! Don’t you get it? I KILLED YOUR BABY! They were alive and then I wasn’t enough for them! IT’S MY FAULT!” To put it simply, she looked insane. Screaming, with tears streaming down her face, arms flailing about as she yelled at Tom, who was still sitting on the bed.

He’d never seen her like this- with so much anger. What was even more disturbing was the fact that it was targeted so inwardly at herself.

“This isn’t your-“

“BE ANGRY TOM. For fuck sake… I-“ She choked out a sob “I murdered your kid! RAGE AT ME SHOUT AT ME it’s-it’s what I deserve.” It was insane but the look in her eye was one that seemed to Tom as though she needed him to hate her. As if in some fucked up narrative that was how the story should end.

He was not having one bit of it, tearing his eyes away from her maniacally shaking frail frame and instead to the corner of the ceiling. There was no precedent, no guidebook on how to deal with this, no past experiences to rely on. Unlike if Y/n had had a shit day, Tom knew then to subtly keep her within reach, to silently be there so she could literally and figuratively lean on him when she was ready; unlike when she was angry at ignorant politicians, he knew not to argue but prompt her to explain more, give a more reasoned argument so anger became thought through intellect; unlike when her grandma had died, when she just needed his contact, she needed his thumb rubbing against her hip, needed to sleep listening to the rhythmical thumping of his heart. None of these were applicable - his touch seemed to make her worse; his words seemed to anger her more; his mere presence didn’t seem to be doing an awful lot of good.

And yet, he couldn’t leave her even if it seemed to be the most logical option. Because she was wild, not herself and not logical and he, for the first time, was terrified of the danger she could be to herself.

Y/n stared at him, wide-eyed, waiting for him to react. She saw his Adam's apple bob up and down - readying his voice to scream at her. She saw his brown eyes collect a sheen of tears of rage - ready to bore holes into her skull as he degraded her to what she was worth. Which was very little. Then, as if in slow motion, his sharp jawline tilted back level and his eyes met her. He was frozen as if a statue, ready to rage at her.

“I love you both. So much and equally.”

Tom was pretty sure he could imagine Y/n’s runaway train in her head slam on the breaks. Her eyebrow twitched a little, as she stood completely still trying to analyse his words. Because to her, it didn’t make sense. So he took this moment of (at least surface level) calm to smoothly and slowly stand up, actions much like mirroring how someone approaches a spooked cat on the streets. Movements slow and preplanned, trying not to set off the fight or flight response on the women in front of him.

“That little baby you made… I didn’t know he ever existed till minutes ago but…but I know for a fact I love them.” He was trying to both figure out and decode his own emotions while explaining them in a way Y/n would accept and understand.

“I love them because… they are made by the love of my life. And that’s incredible and indescribable and just… just part of you, an extension of everything you and me together are… They would never have been perfect right?” Tom softly asked, though realistically knowing he wouldn’t get a response from a still motionless Y/n - besides a single tear, which appeared to have a mind of its own, escaping over her bottom lash lid. Tom watched it roll down her cheek as he composed his next words. “No they wouldn’t, no ones perfect… neither me nor you. But they would’ve been safe and have been loved. They were loved, you-you loved them right, even if you didn’t think you did or when you were terrified?” This time Y/n nodded minutely and Tom mirrored this, taking a small step a little closer to her. “And I did love them while they were in your stomach because they were part of you and I always always love you…. So they were so full of love okay? There's no rhyme or reason to why what happened happened but it’s… it’s definitely not because they were starved of love okay?” Y/n still didn’t have appeared to have released a single breath since Tom stood up, so he made a calculated and risked assessed movement to reach his hand out to touch her upper arm. In reaction, she sucked in a sharp shaky breath and then expelled it just as quickly - just like Tom knew she would. He physically felt a pull in his chest seeing the torment in her glassy eyes, now barely a rulers length from her.

“This, it’s an awful… awful situation. It’s sad and heartbreaking but I really need you to know that it changes nothing about how I feel about you. I need you to really understand how much I love-and always will-love you, and how I love them too.” Another tear escaped the same eye and Tom reached up with his other hand so his thumb could brush it away before the glassy orb met her pronounced jawline. To be honest he was quite grateful for the moment as he felt his voice getting a bit sticky in the back of his throat. She still wasn’t ready to speak yet and he was okay with that.

“We’ll never forget them and we will always love them, but I want to do that with you, as we get older together. They tie us closer and I refuse to disrespect them and force ourselves apart….a-assuming you don’t want to either?” Still cupping her cheek with his left hand Tom felt as well as saw her nod, this time more emphatically, her eyes darting between focusing on his left and then right eye - as though she was just checking they were saying the same things as his mouth.

“I’m sorry I-“ Finally feeling the connection between her brain and voice box, Y/n stated to jiltedly speak but was interrupted as Tom tentatively feathered his lips on hers. “You can be sorry for scaring the crap out of me today, you can be sorry for shouting and you can be sorry for not telling me at all… I don’t think you should, but if you’re staying sorry that’s all you can be sorry for.” He was barely speaking, more like just moving his lips against hers, yet they knew and understood each other completely Y/n got everything. So she sighed and repeated.

“I am sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for you not having the faith to know I’d be happy, that was my fault. I’m sorry for not being here and not noticing when you were struggling on the phone. I’m sorry I crept up on you last night. But I don’t think there’s anything else for either of us to apologise for.”

“Okay” Y/n then pressed her lips firmly and almost desperately against his, feeling his warmth wrap around her, as he literally wrapped his arm around her waist, from where it had been on her upper arm. And really she was very incredibly desperate since it was very very incredibly clear now with him pressed against her that he might’ve been all she needed this whole time. Tom went with it for a couple of moments, but then broke them both apart - it sounds odd but he sort of felt like he was taking advantage of her.

“Darling you’re grieving. We can tackle this together …. But your grieving so we need to look after you first. And, and we’ll remember them and face this. But we gotta look out for each other too and…”

“I’m ill aren’t I?” He was oh-so relieved that she could see it too.

“I’m not a doctor but I think so… think we need to get you eating properly.”Y/n nodded and Tom kissed her forehead, pulling her completely against his chest - only exacerbating and exaggerating his awareness of how boney she felt. It hadn’t gone unnoticed how she’d spent the whole of Sam’s dinner pushing the meat round on her fork - rearranging it numerous times- whilst picking at a few carrots. “We can do whatever you feel will help you this evening but you need to tell me what you want to eat.”

*

You agreed but you still felt incredibly nauseous, so managed to put off the whole snacking thing in lieu of cuddling up on the sofa with Tom. You were still incredibly confused, feeling slightly detached from reality if you were completely honest. And you knew Tom was a good actor, his career kind of speaks for himself yet, all the same, the sheer truth in his eyes, voice, heart. It had you feeling safe. He no longer felt a flight risk and although you still couldn’t understand why he was forgiving you so easily, you believed he was. In the softest voice, he kept just saying ‘your grieving’ when you tried to challenge his logic- admittedly proving difficult in your scattered and hazy mind.

So you found yourself lying almost completely on top of his right side, your head tucked underneath his chin, a fluffy blanket weighing down on your back to keep you nice and toasty. Silently Tom had trailed his fingertips tentatively, under the hem of your t-shirt, round over the top of your hip to his stomach. Initially, it had felt like the worst and most alien feeling in the world- but he told you to relax and you listened; he told you to take deep breaths and you listened; he told you he loved you and you listened.

It must’ve been incredibly boring for him, I mean the TV wasn’t on neither was the radio and you knew his phone was in a pocket you were currently lying on. He didn’t complain though, he just let you lie there. Just sort of being with him.

*

At some point Tom realised she’d drifted off, after a long time fighting exhaustion, as though she were worried about what Tom would do once she finally gave in to sleep. It wasn’t surprising though, considering her energy intake from food for today was limited to a couple of roasted carrot slices, Tom knew her falling asleep on his chest was inevitable. The time it took had also given him enough time to fully digest and process the whole day as well as for deciding what he needed to do. So once she appeared fully out of Tom dared to worm his hand between their bodies and, with a few muted grunts of effort, phish his phone out his back pocket.

‘Hi, I know this asking a lot but would you mind getting Sam to make that pasta bake Y/n likes and dropping it round? Just she’s asleep but I don’t want to leave her alone but could do with getting something in her?’

‘Sams already on it and it doesn’t take long. I’ll be at yours in about an hour, shall I just let myself in?’

Tom was so grateful for his family, and for how they’d taken Y/n in to. Although she’d never admit it, her tougher than average upbringing always had her feeling a bit isolated- she never had ‘her’ people. The people who completely accepted her for who she was and never judged her. But as soon as he’d introduced her to them, it was as if she'd always been there. He endlessly appreciated the talks Nikki and you had, the way his Dad would come over when she was home alone to help with the simple stuff like knowing what lightbulb to buy for the lamp that had blinked out.

She had a place in his family.

Quite impressively, Sam had managed to bake the dish and then Nikki had managed to drive round before barely three-quarters of an hour had passed. Y/n was still completely out, so when he heard his mum unlock the door with her spare key, he felt able to wiggle out from under her without disturbing at all. He met Nikki in the kitchen, leaning against the door frame as he watched his mother fly about the kitchen - preheating the oven on a low temp to keep it warm while pulling plates and cutlery out the drawers so it was easier for Y/n and Tom when you woke up.

“Thanks for all this” Tom announced his presence with a soft sigh as he padded further into the kitchen. Nikki instinctively threw her arms round her eldest’s shoulders, squeezing him tightly.

“You guys okay?” Tom replied with a rather uncertain hum, before recounting the evening to his mum in a low voice - as though Y/n could be disturbed from the other side of the house. Nikki was in two frame of minds at this point, clearly heartbroken for the pair; but also incredibly proud of her son because it appeared he’d reacted and said exactly the right things.

“And you?… it must’ve been a shock?” To be quite honest, Tom hadn't thought about his own emotions yet, he’d put himself on the back foot for the time being.

“I mean it’s just a bit surreal… I don’t know I didn’t really have anything to do with it but - I just know that it's made me so certain that one day we will... you know?” Nikki hugged her son again with a little nod.

“Well I won’t outstay my welcome but I do want you to give this to Y/n too.”’ With those words, she fished a square box out of her handbag - it was about the size of two matchboxes and Tom raised his brows in curiosity. “She’ll understand when she sees it.”

And with a brisk parting gesture, Nikki left, Tom tucking the box into his side pocket before getting the pasta ready.

////////

Waking you with a gentle rub on your upper arm, you mewled a groan and pushed your head hard into the sofa below you in an attempt to alleviate the tension that instantly rippled through your skull. With hazy eyes, you blinked heavily, slowly focusing on the pale yet soft skin of the boy crouched opposite you.

“Hey darling, nice nap?” Nodding gradually, you still tried to completely recollect and piece together everything that had happened today “… you need some grub before we head upstairs yeh?” Again you nodded in compliance because at this point, even having been asleep for the last however long, you really didn’t have the energy for any conflict or disagreement. With a little prompt and poke from Tom, you reluctantly sat up, grasping the plate he offered to you while still rubbing one of your eyes. Busying himself with running back to the kitchen and grabbing his own plate and drink, you had time to look at the food and notice what was served to you. Tom plopped himself next to you and turned his head with a small smile, meeting a bemused and slightly suspicious look from you.

“You didn’t cook this…?” Really it wasn’t a question. You knew for a fact Tom was not and would never be a good chef. No judgement though, since neither were you, meaning the pair of you heavily relied on the ingenious invention of uber eats most evenings. Tom chuckled at your perceptiveness and admitted defeat without even trying to feign it.

“Nah mum dropped it round. Though I think Sam cooked it so a joint effort.”

“-didnt have to-“ You hated feeling like a burden. You hated people worrying because you just felt bad. Not worth the attention and effort. And Tom hated you feeling like that - naturally then, he had the need to shut you down instantly.

“No, you’re right. But they did.”

The air was filled with the quiet clinks of ceramic against the silver or the cutlery as you forced mouthful after mouthful down your throat. He was trying to be subtle, and yet you could feel Tom’s concerned glance checking you were eating. Truthully, you really didn’t feel like eating at all (even if it was Sam’s gorgeous tomato and sausage pasta bake - an odd combination but it worked). However, what more crucial in that moment was not disappointing your incredibly sweet boyfriend.

After having consumed as much as you physically could - which Tom deemed suitable with a small nod- he took your plates away and came back to sit beside you. More and more silence.

“Are-are we okay?” Whispering quietly you felt Tom’s body seize up into a rigid state, his face whipping round to look at you. He chose to reply with actions first reaching up so that his hands cupped your cheeks, he turned your head and then slowly leaned into to press his lips softly against yours. Once retracted, he pressed his forehead onto yours.

“Of course. I bloody love you and we’re going to get through this together.” His eyes were almost intimidating, with the seriousness he placed in his gaze - just to make sure you knew he meant it.

What you had done to deserve this boy you’d never know. But you were so incredibly grateful for him.

It gave you the confidence to take the first move this time, pressing your lips against his, holding for a moment before arching away - a small yet real smile on your face.

“Oh… nearly forgot” He muttered, leaning forward and grabbing a black leather box that you’d failed to notice had been placed on the coffee table. For the second time this evening, you were caught off guard and bemused as to how he’d sourced this item within the time frame. “It’s from mum… she wouldn’t tell me what it is but said you’d understand.”

His words had you biting your lip, in a weird way eager to see, purely because you knew Nikki understood you. And understood what you were going through. With one last look to Tom, you reached out and grabbed the box, thumb running over the sleek leather exterior. Once your thumb reached the bottom you flicked the lid up, unveiling a simple silver chained bracelet. It had five dainty silver charms hanging off it, they looked a bit like leaves but were kind of too small to tell. Moreover, it looked a little worn and preloved but it didn’t stop your eyes from watering when you saw at the bottom another charm, not yet attached that looked newer and pristine.

5 charms already attached and 1 new one.

“Oh” Tom muttered, also clearly very much intrigued, hovering off you left shoulder to see properly. ”That’s mums bracelet. She never really takes it off… that’s nice I guess?” He was obviously confused and it had you chuckling wetly, at how oblivious he could be. You did love your dear idiot.

5 charms for her 5 pregnancies… and now one for yours. One to wear forever, to love, to keep close to your heart.

They were tears of happiness, you were certain of, however, Tom was not at all sure why your flood gates opened again and was worried.

“You-you don’t have to take- I mean if you don’t like it don’t worry-“

“I love it” You breathed, looking up at him with glassy eyes before hastily picking up the extra charm and with shaky fingers clasping it onto the chain next to it. Tom perked up, if still bemused, wrapping his arm around your shoulder with a gentle squeeze.

“I don’t know how you convinced her to take it off, I’ve been trying to buy her a new bracelet for years but she’s always stuck with this old thing.”

“Because it’s beautiful!” You yelped in argument, making him laugh at how suddenly you’d switched into a happy and overexcited mood. Though don’t get me wrong, he was loving it.

“You Holland women I will never understand.” He whispered into your ear whilst you looked back at the chain, fixing it round your wrist. His comment made you freeze up, as you felt his grip tightening on your waist as he realised exactly what he might have just let slip out. “No I er- I don’t mean… but-but one day maybe if-if you wanted.”

“I love you” You sighed, kissing him once again to save him the embarrassment of watching his cheeks flush and ears pink up.

“I’m serious though… one day because… because you’re my family and when it happens our family will grow too.”

He was right. And you would, one day,

But you would never forget the two little lives remembered on this bracelet.

tagging people that might be interested (sorry if u don't care ahah): @wayfaring----stranger @vanillanestor @333dolans @thevelvetseries @whitewolf51 

[honeypirate]

Just In Case

Part two

Pro hero Bakugou x fem pro hero reader

in my world Recovery Girl lives forever and trains another who can replace her when she retires who she passes the hero title of recovery girl too.

Anyway on to the story that’s probably not as good as I want but oh well.

Warning- angst. Death. Blood. Ya know the works.

Inspiration- Murder In the City // The Avett Brothers

You write a letter every day. A new one so it stays relevant. Every morning you took ten minutes to quickly write out a letter just in case anything bad happens while you’re at work.

You see, being a hero isnt all rainbows and butterflies and ranks. Sometimes it’s boring. But other times, it’s scary and horrifying. Those days where you barely make it out on top because the villains were crafty.

After one hard therapy session filled with worries and tears, your therapist suggested letters. At least one. To your husband. Just in case.

This morning wasn’t different than your last, you can hear your husband in his office across the hall, humming a song you listened to at dinner the previous night. He made your heart happy with everything he did, minus the way he left his used teeth floss sticks on the counter or the way he could be a little loud.

Every morning you write this letter, periodically meeting his eye through your open doors and he’d wink, making you laugh and stick your tongue out.

Today you watched as he moved, methodical, he’s done this every morning and it shows but he still takes care with every movement.

“Are you ready?” He says as he crosses the hallway “we’re needed in half an hour so we should go soon” you smile at him and somethjng settles in your stomach. Something heavy and uncomfortable. Something wrong.

“Yeah I’m almost done” you say and he watches as you fold your letter and place it in an envelope, writing his name followed by ‘just in case’ then sticking it in your top drawer.

The letters he’s been told about. The letters he supports. He’s actually been writing his own to you as well but you both agreed that you can’t read then unless it’s actually happening.

You try to not focus on the hard substance in your stomach or the way it seems to ache. It’s a bad feeling but sometimes your anxiety could cause them for no reason so you tried not to pay too much attention to it.

“Ready” you say softly, pulling down your hero mask to press your lips to his for a moment. He helps you readjust your mask with a pink flush in his cheeks. You’ve been married for years but making him blush is as easy as it was day one.

(Skippy skip)

The villains were smart, drawing all the heroes to different locations. You were climbing the stairs of an abandoned building, going to see if the intel about a bomb on the third floor was true, which unfortunately, it was.

Your hands hovered over the bomb, using your electric quirk to cancel out the wires and stop the timer. A scuffing sound catches your attention and you’re dodging a metal rod that was thrown at you to only be stabbed by one from a different direction.

The villain could control metal with his quirk, throwing the rod at you from one direction when he was coming from a different side. “Huh” you say softly as you look down at the rod through your stomach, the pain not even registering yet. “Poor unfortunate hero.” He lifts you by the metal rod and you scream, white hot pain shooting through you as it tears your abdomen as he slams you into the ground, pushing the rod further through you until it connects to the concrete floor.

“I’m sorry I can’t stay long. I have a hot date later” he says as he restarts the bomb, placing it farther from you so you couldn’t reach it with your powers, then he’s hopping from the third story window and waving at you with a smirk.

Your hand flies to your ear piece “There’s a bomb! Third floor tallest abandoned building in the-“ and that’s all you can get out before the bomb goes off and the building is collapsing.

The area was covered in dust and smoke, ash falling from the sky. You ripped your mask off trying to get more air into your lungs but it didn’t help that a giant piece of concrete was crushing your right arm and part of your ribs and chest, not to mention you’re still attached to the rod.

“Bakugou” you say through your headpiece, coughing up blood and ash “where are you?” He shouts back “the bomb” you muttered back and it sounded wheezy, you could hear the fluid in your lungs. You heard more explosions before he was appearing right beside you.

“Hey there hot stuff” you say and chuckle softly as he brushes the dust out of your hair “I’ll get you out of here. You’ll be okay” he’s saying but his eyes are filling with tears and his brows are knit. “It’ll be okay” you say but he does not look in your eyes. He’s still fretting, trying to think of how to save you.

“Bakugou.” You say in a commanding voice and he looks at you “you’ll be okay” you whisper, your blood covered lips smiling gently. You reach up with your left hand and cup his cheek, brushing away the hot tears that have started to fall. “You’ll be okay” you say again, your voice sounding weaker “no” he whispers “no. I’ll save you. You’ll be fine. I’ll get you help” kirishima is in your headpiece, telling you how he’s sent first responders your way but you can’t hear him.

Your voice is quiet, your hand going limp and falling from his cheek “You are the best part of me”

He doesn’t know where he’s going. He left the police station and was just walking. He couldn’t go home. Not when it was your home too. Not when he knows he’ll just be reminded of you and how you smiled at him this morning. How he woke up to you kissing his neck. How that will never happen again.

Walking into the office he didn’t bother with any of the lights. He puts in his alarm code and numbly makes his way to your office.

If you’re reading this. That means I’ve died.

Oh god I’ve always hated these letters. It’s so dramatic. I’m going to be okay. I have to be.

But just in case, since were up against major villains every day, I’ll write this letter. The 54th I’ve written so far.

Anyway I would regret not saying anything if it was my last day alive. I know I’m going to go home tonight and hold you, kiss you, and spend it like it was my last. This won’t be different than the last 53 letters I’ve shredded.

But. Life is short. It’s short and before you know it it can be snuffed out like a candle in the wind. So here we go.

If I get murdered in the city tomorrow, don’t go revenging in my name. A person dead from such is plenty, no need to go get locked away. I know you’ll blame yourself and get mad and swear revenge. Bakugou I love you. Let go of the hate and the rage. All I want is you to be happy and you to be okay.

But there’s no need to get over alarmed, I’m coming home I know it.

(His tears start to hit the paper, hot big tears blotting the ink and making it hard to see. )

So if tomorrow is my last day. Ill leave this letter in my desk.

Don’t bother with my belongings. Things never really mattered to me, you know that. Donate them. Burn then. Whatever you want.

Tell my sister that I love her. That I’m sorry if she ever doubted that.

I wonder what my parents will say. Probably that they were proud of me. Please let them know how much I loved them. How much I loved my childhood.

Now for you, my love, my sweetheart. The love of my life I’m sure of it. There was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name. The love that let me share your name for these few years.

Thank you. For loving me. For supporting me. For choosing me every day. I’ve never doubted it once. I’ll always be with you, even if you can’t see me.

I'm watching you in your office right now, youre humming that song that played at the restaurant last night.

If I had never seen your face this world would have been such a very different place for me. It would be quieter and colorless. You have truly given me so much in this life that I can never hope to repay you.

You can never know which way your heart will go, but you are the compass leading mine. It will always point to you.

You’ve made me feel alive made me want to live so I could experience all my dreams coming true with you by my side.

I don’t know what else to add

Please, if you know anything, let it be that you were my greatest happiness in life.

I’ll always come home to you

I love you

-y/n

His hand is shaking as he finishes the letter.

He takes a sharp inhale and his knees give out, falling to the floor beside your desk with a soft gasp that turned into a sob as he broke down.

“You. You promised” he whispered between sobs, not even bothering to wipe away the tears as he hugs his arms around himself, hunching forward as his tears make soft patting sounds as the hit the hard wood floor.

He doesn’t know how Kirishima found him but when he runs through the office and sighs with relief when he finds him, he doesn’t move. He stays, broken on the floor, sobbing. Kiri doesn’t freeze, he’s there in a second, wrapping his arms around his best friend. Trying to give him a little comfort.

Kirishima's phone rings and Bakugou growls, taking it from his hand as kiri goes to silence it, pressing answer without looking to see who it is “what” he yells out, his nose stuffy and throat constricted showing how much he’s been sobbing.

Recovery Girls voice is stern through the receiver “You need to get down here right away. She’s alive.”

[dadsbongos]

Morose

Movie/Game/Show: Danganronpa: Goodbye Despair Dynamic: Hajime Hinata/Reader Warnings: subtle(?) spoilers aside from the despair disease, once again i don’t write with plot :), and yes I DO know Nagito’s supposed to faint but no I didn’t write it in here Summary: Hajime can’t help but be worried as his friends’ personalities are flipped upside-down.  ~~~

“Hajime!” (Y/n) cheered, a smile lighting up at the sight of the boy, waving him over as he went towards his cottage, “It’s been a bit, huh?”

“We spoke this morning,” he awkwardly pointed out.

Giggling to herself, the girl’s hands flew up as if to shrug, “So we did! I can barely keep track anymore, we’ve been on this island awhile, ya know?” 

“I know what you mean,” Hajime muttered, shaking his head, “What did you need though?”

“Oh, well,” fanning herself off with her hand, (Y/n) looked to the side, “I’ve been feeling a little hot all day. Kinda worried I’m getting sick,” she sighed, “It’d be awful if someone took advantage of me being sick to kill me.”

To be completely honest, Hajime wasn’t expecting that - usually, the girl before him was incredibly cheerful. Barely even said the word ‘kill’ unless they were in a trial, and even then, she was hesitant.

“No way,” he immediately refuted, “You won’t get murdered. Not now, not later. Nobody else will be killed.”

“You can’t really promise that,” she grumbled, rubbing at her temples, “Sorry, this headache is really biting me right now.”

Hajime waved off her apology, “Shouldn’t you be lying down then? I could get Mikan.”

“No, no!” she smiled weakly, shaking her head, “I don’t wanna bother her, besides, I’m already feeling better just talking to you!”

“I don’t think that’s how illness works, at all.”

“Maybe,” she all but sang, drawing out the ‘y’, tossing her head back slightly to look at the darkening sky, “But I can’t lie. You’re a good distraction, Hajime.”

“Thanks?”

“I just mean that you make me forget how much this all sucks,” she grinned, watching as the stars blinked above her, “You’re a good friend, Hajime. I don’t know where we’d all be without you. Maybe that’s your Ultimate, huh?”

“Ultimate Friend?” he didn’t want to laugh in the poor girl’s face, but even she should be able to admit it was ridiculous.

“It is kinda silly,” (Y/n) pouted, clasping her hands behind her back before lighting up once again, “Or the Ultimate Hope! Or maybe the Ultimate Detective? Or the Ultimate- “

“I think that’s good for now,” Hajime settled his hands on the girl’s shoulders, “It’s getting dark, I think we should head to our cottages.”

“Oh, alright!” (Y/n) bounced out of the boy’s grip before dashing towards her cottage, “See ya tomorrow, Hajime!”

~~

Waking up the next morning to Monokuma’s voice, (Y/n) pursed her lips at the uncomfortable dryness of her throat. And then the heat. Absolute sweltering temperatures with a headache to crack open her skull.

She stood from her bed, immediately going to the bathroom and cupping her hand under the running sink, hoping that drinking some water would ease her throat. It succeeded, temporarily.

Deciding that, sadly, no matter what she did it was hopeless - (Y/n) managed to put herself together before dragging her way down to the cafeteria. She just barely pressed towards the dining area before growing quickly irritated at the sound of loud wails that only seemed to get worse when she went inside. Akane was sobbing, breaking down into nothing before all her classmates.

Hajime had crossed arms as he watched the woman cry over poor Nekomaru, “Doesn’t something seem a little… off about her?”

“Like I give a shit. Who cares? Let the bitch cry.”

(Y/n)’s eyes widened at her own words, Hajime staring at her in shock before shaking his head and leaning closer to the girl, “Are you- are you feeling alright?”

“Fuck off, I don’t need your bug-eyes staring at me,” before she could stop herself, more insults were hurling out of her mouth - almost alarmingly fast.

Ibuki hummed thoughtfully, “You know, Hajime’s eyes always did look a little fly-ey.”

“I don’t have bug-eyes,” Hajime glared weakly at (Y/n), “Do you still feel sick?”

“Puhuhuhuhu!” interrupted any more conversation, Monokuma giggling loudly, “It seems some of your friends have caught the Despair Disease!”

Mikan jumped slightly, “Despair Disease?!” she walked to (Y/n) and Ibuki, placing a soft hand on their foreheads, “They’re awfully warm.”

“Whore,” (Y/n) spat as she knocked the nurse’s hand from her forehead.

“W-whore?!” Mikan jumped back, curling into herself, tears bubbling at her water line.

"Surprise! It's your next motive!" Monokuma exclaimed, clearly proud of his plan,  "Ibuki has the Gullible Disease, Akane has the Coward Disease, Nagito has the Liar Disease, and (Y/n) has the Morose Disease!"

Glancing over to where Nagito was avidly dismissing any possible feeling of illness, Hajime nodded slightly before looking back to the sulking, brooding girl beside him, “I guess that makes sense.”

With a final warning of the disease being contagious, Monokuma left and Mikan was quick to emphasis that the sick should be taken to the hospital.

“I don’t need to be looked after,” (Y/n) sneered, utterly horrified at the words her mouth was spewing without her consent, “Especially by Little Ms. Piggy.”

“If (Y/n) doesn’t need to be looked after than neither do I!” Ibuki shouted.

Hajime rolled his eyes, “Yeah, I know. Everyone, just follow me.”

“I hope this never ends!”

“Shut your mouth before I stitch it shut, hope boy.”

After everyone was settled into their own rooms, with their own caretaker, (Y/n) tried to keep her mouth shut as Mikan, Fuyuhiko, and Hajime stood around her room. Chiaki was still busy calming down Akane from a cry-fest over stepping on Hajime’s foot earlier in the day.

Hajime sat by (Y/n)’s bedside, eyes flickering from the girl to Mikan as the nurse checked her vitals, “If I knew you calling me the Ultimate Friend would lead to this, I wouldn’t have gone over,” he tried joking. Just to ease the tension of the room.

Once again, without fail, (Y/n)’s lips flew open before she could stop herself, “Ultimate Friend? More like Ultimately Useless, get me a fucking doctor. Not some whiny-bitch nurse and two cuckolds.”

Silence festered in the room, (Y/n) tossing herself back to try and fall asleep as fast as possible. No longer wishing to live with the consequences of her own actions.

“This’ll be a long-fucking-while, then,” Fuyuhiko huffed.

Placing her head in her hands, (Y/n) sighed, flinching slightly when she felt someone pull her hands away to uncover her face, Hajime doing his best to give the girl a comforting smile, “We’ll get over this, like we always do. Nobody else is dying, right? We said it ourselves.”

Nodding, (Y/n) did her best to keep her mouth shut to refrain from ruining the moment. 

Nobody else would die.

Nobody… 

“See?” Hajime looked up to the nurse, “Don’t you agree, Mikan?”

[writtenonreceipts]

5. “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?” For rowaelin, Aelin finding out she’s pregnant. It can be an au, or in their actual world. Thanks so much!

/AN: Thanks so much for the prompt, anon!  This got away from me! I’m sorry?  But not really, I had fun with it, even though I don’t feel like it’s my best. I’d never really thought I would write canon/post canon but here we are...enjoy my dears

#

It hadn’t even occurred to Aelin that anything could go wrong with the day.  It was after all ten years since the war had ended.  Ten years since there was even the smallest promise of peace in her home.  Ten years.

It was supposed to be glorious.

Kneeling over the toilet Aelin emptied the contents of her stomach, again, and did her best to even out her breathing.  If there was anything less glorious to be doing--this certainly was it.

Her Fae enhanced ears caught the sound of footsteps coming toward her.  Lorcan.  Quick and efficient.  Grabbing a hand towel, Aelin wiped her mouth and stood.  She made sure her dress was fit properly and left the bathroom.  The last person she wanted seeing her so weak and vulnerable was Lord Lorcan Lochan.

Granted she could just use his full title on him and call it even.

“Aelin?” Lorcan called from the front door of her chambers.

“Come in,” she replied.  She used her magic to take away the cent of vomit, but she didn’t know if it actually did anything because Lorcan’s nose twitched as he entered. “What?’

“Darrow said that it’s time,” Lorcan said.  He eyed her with a frown.  His dark eyes were intent and unyielding.  Even after all this time she still wasn’t quite used to his silent calculations, the information he seemed to glean from a room with ease and efficiency.  Aelin was suddenly grateful he had become so smitten with Elide that he’d changed his life completely.  Even if he was an ass.

“As if we haven’t rehearsed this enough,” Aelin muttered.  Her stomach rolled again.  Damn nerves.  She was a queen and had been doing quite well at it thank-you very much.  There was no reason for her to feel so ill and anxious at the thought of the festivities tomorrow. 

“Are you all right?” Lorcan asked.  His frown deepened as he looked her over. “You don’t look well.  Have you eaten today?”

“You sound like Rowan,” Aelin grumbled.  She went to her armoire and found the ring Rowan had given her one year after their secret nuptials.  The familiar weight on her finger, settled her somewhat.  “I’m not hungry either, let's get this over with.”

She didn’t add the fact that just the thought of eating made her want to crawl back into bed.  And she would be able to do just that in forty-eight hours.

#

The elaborate ceremony was slated to take place tomorrow evening, the exact day when the war finally ended.  Apparently Aelin needed to practice walking down a straight line to the balcony that overlooked the castle courtyard.  After she addressed her people she would then unveil a sculpture.  She’d asked Rowan to commission the sculpture so she had no idea what it would be of, but she had to trust the buzzard to take well to the task.

When Darrow finally relented that they’d done enough preparation for the following day, Aelin excused herself to her private quarters.  Lorcan following after.

“Don’t you have a wife and baby to go and se?” Aelin called over her shoulder.

“Yes, but their not as high-maintenance as you, so I think it’s alright if I’m a little late,” Lorcan replied.

When Aelin shot a glare over her shoulder at him she caught a brief smile on his lips.

She had a response perched on her lips but something else snared her attention.  It was a familiar scent of pine and snow and home.  Her mate.

Before explaining anything to Lorcan she sprinted the rest of the way to her rooms, flinging the doors open.

Standing in the center of her room was the one person she had been desperate to lay eyes on these past few weeks.  Her husband had been travelling, preparing the outlying villages for the celebration, and bringing the commissioned statue back to Terrasan.

“Fireheart,” he said, a broad grin spreading across his face.

Aelin didn’t wait before throwing herself at him, burrowing her face in his shoulder.

Chuckling Rowan wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.

“I missed you,” she whispered.  She looked up at him and giggled when he started peppering her face with kisses.

“And I you, my heart,” he said before finally pressing a long kiss to her lips.  He pulled away so he could rest his forehead against her, his beautiful eyes staring right into her soul.

Aelin could have stood their for hours, days, millennia.  Just this brief exchange could make up for her nausea from this morning and her anxiety about the coming day.

“I asked for our meal to be delivered here,” Rowan told her, “Elide and Lorcan will take care of the festivities for tonight.”

Aelin raised an eyebrow. “Lord Lorcan Lochan agreed to that.”

“It took bribery,” Rowan admitted.

Aelin threw her head back and laughed before leaning up on her toes to kiss her mate.  She slanted her mouth eagerly over his, grateful to have him back with her.  Despite the promises they’d made to each other years ago about never being apart, things had come up in their kingdom, in their world.  

Rowan ran his hands down Aelin’s sides, nipping at her bottom lip.

By the time their food had arrived from the kitchen, they were free of several layers of clothing and warm with lust.

Sun was barely setting behind the mountains, casting pink and gold rays across the sky.  It was this time of day that Aelin loved most.  The simple beauty of the sky was enough to remind her how far they’d come.

Rowan sat across from her telling a story about the mess he and Fenrys had gotten into while trekking across the mountains just days before.  Even in their other forms, they’d somehow managed to not only start an avalanche of late spring snow, but get holed up in a snow cave.

Aelin smiled as she pushed food across her plate.  Her appetite hadn’t come back all day and she was swimming with nausea again, not matter how much of her own magic she tried to apply to herself.  She needed to send a message to Yrene for a remedy.  

“Fireheart?” Rowan asked. “You haven’t even touched your food, what’s going on?”

She looked up and shrugged. “You’re far too entertaining for your own good King.”

Rowan’s eyes narrowed.  “You’re hiding something from me.”

Scoffing, Aelin cut a piece of venison just to appease him.  She brought it to her lips and gave him a pointed stare, but before she could take a bite the scent of the cooked meat and spices ausulted her nose and she was up and running to the restroom before she knew what had happened.

She emptied the scant amount of food in her belly and sank back onto her knees only to find herself leaning against Rowan’s chest.  One of his hand was curled in her hair to keep it pulled back while the other rested on her stomach, keeping her close to him.

His warm breath brushed against her ear. “Are you alright?”

Aelin nodded and let herself melt into her mate.  “I haven’t been feeling well all day,” she admitted.

Rowan raised a hand to her forehead, her cheeks, feeling for a fever.  He grunted.

“I’m fine,” Aelin insisted.  She made to pull away from him but he kept her close.

“You’ve been flaring your magic lately,” he said.

“Because I’m exhausted.  Planning this celebration has take too much out of me,” she said.  She hated to sound the way she did, but between the vomiting and the fears about tomorrow she really didn’t feel too guilty about it. “Besides it’s probably just my--”

Aelin froze.  

Her cycle.

How long had it been?  Since settling into her Fae form the bleedings hadn’t come as often but they were brutal.  She couldn’t remember exactly how long it had been.  Three months?  She couldn’t be pregnant.  After all this time of trying and hoping.  After losing the last pregnancy.

Aelin twisted in Rowan’s arms.  He looked utterly confused as to what was going on.  Couldn’t he see?  Couldn’t he tell?  Of course...she had been using her magic so often to keep her going throughout the day that perhaps it was masking the scent.

Tentatively, Aelin dropped the shield she’d been putting up over herself.  As soon as she did, Rowan’s gaze sharpened.

“Aelin,” he whispered.

Her gaze dropped to her stomach, nothing looked different.  But the more she thought about it, the more her mind flooded with emotion and she settled one hand over her belly.

Rowan dipped his nose in the crook of her neck, breathing deeply, his teeth nipping her skin gently.  Aelin shivered at the contact and forced herself to look at her mate once more.  She twisted enough so she could draw his chin up and look into his eyes as they knelt together.

Emotion laced Rowan’s eyes and told her all that she needed to know.

She let out a weak laugh as tears slipped down her cheeks.  Rowan was quick to catch them with his lips before pressing a soft, tender kiss to each corner of her mouth.

“I’m pregnant,” Aelin said, needing to hear the words out loud.

“You’re pregnant,” Rowan confirmed.

Throwing her arms around her mate, Aelin didn’t hold back her sobs.  This was beyond anything she could have ever imagined for herself.  After the hell her life had been, right up until she’d met Rowan.  Her grip tightened around him.  He had been her saving grace.  Always and forever.

She pulled back enough to look into his eyes and wipe away his own tears.

“To whatever end,” she said.

“To whatever end.”

#

The statue that was unveiled the next day was simple.  And yet it was no less glorious.  Commissioned from a woman in a small country Aelin had visited many times now.  The statue was of two women, their faces blank so as to allow the viewer to see themselves there.  One of the women was carved to be wearing a fine dress that flowed behind her.  The other held two swords.

Two princesses, two queens, one war won.

The country of Eyllwe, Aelin decided, had a way of bringing her home.

#

As always thanks for reading!

tags:  @tottenhamboys20 @morganofthewildfire  @aelinchocolatelover @more-espresso-less-depresso-xx

[wolfish-trickster]

Advent kisses

23/24

Loki x female!reader

Word count: 1 208

Summary: Instead of chocolates, kisses are going to be recieved everyday until Christmas.

Tag list: @gaitwae @lucywrites02 @modestlyabsurd @winterfrostsarmy @spaceyempress @thefridgeismybestie @laramoonworld @birdgirl90 @nickkie1129 @loki-yoursaviourishere @hard-to-be-the-bard

"-okay, I admit, I'm in love with Loki. Are you happy now?"

"Very."

Loki couldn't believe he heard you say those words. It was on accident, sure, but still. He looked out the window and imagined what would life with you be like. How many kids you'd want. If you wanted them, of course. If they are going to have your eyes and smile, or his hair and mischievious nature. Or both. If they are going to be boys or girls. He imagined how both of you'd play with them, teach them, read to them, sing lullabies as they fell asleep. He knows imagining married life before you even date is ridiculous, but having someone to imagine having this with is much more than he ever hoped for. In other words, he couldn't resist letting his imagination run free.

When he walked into the kitchen with you holding his hand all girls smirked. He knew why, obviously. He had to play dumb for 2 more days.

Well, only a day now. After 24 hours he's free to confess his feelings to you. Completely. He couldn't wait. Your voice echoed in his head as he fell asleep.

I'm in love with Loki. I'm love with Loki. I'm love Loki. I love Loki.

-

New day, new duties. Christmas tree? Shining. Gingerbread? Baked and decorated. Gifts? Bought, but surprisingly not wrapped yet. So that's what most of the team was doing. Others were watching christmas movies with kids or playing in either pool or snow.

Loki's steps were fast and joyful. He was humming to himself as he made his way to the kitchen, hoping to find you there. The only person there was Bruce.

"Why are you so happy? Christmas is tomorrow."

"Can't I be in a happy mood for no reason?" his eyes were scanning the room. No sign of you.

"Y/N isn't here if you're looking for her. Haven't seen her the whole morning, actually."

Loki's eyes narrowed at Bruce. "What makes you think I'm looking for her?" was he obvious enough for him to find out?

"Well, you two have been spending a lot of time together lately. Plus you made her wound heal faster. It's good you found yourself a bestie. You're less lonely. And Y/N is a good girl, no wonder you took liking to her."

"Alright, I am looking for her. Any ideas where I can find her?"

Bruce shrugged. "Try library corner. Or she's hanging out by the tree. I remember how she said she loves the smell of it."

"Thank you," he bowed his head respectively towards him and went looking for you.

He didn't find you by the tree, nor in the library corner. You weren't watching movie or playing outside. He even went into the sauna to ask Laura and Pepper if they've seen you. In fact, none of the Avengers have seen you today.

The only logical place he could find you was your room. He didn't think of it before, because it's so unlike you to stay in the bed this long.

He softly knocked on your door. What if you fell ill? Loki wouldn't mind taking care of you, but he would feel sad for you. Spending this holiday coughing and sneezing in bed.

He heard a weak 'go away' coming from the other side of the door.

Now this was new. "Darling? It's me, Loki. I'm just checking on you," no answer.

"Are you well, love?"

"Loki, please go away," your voice broke. Loki felt anxiety bubbling inside of him. Were you crying? Why? Did he say or do something?

"My love, are you hurt? Please let me inside. I can help you with anything, just please, open the door," he didn't care he sounded desperate. He wouldn't survive if you were hurt and he didn't help you.

After the longest silence in his life you answered. "Door isn't locked, but I doubt you'll help me with this."

He quickly opened and searched for you. You were in your bed, your back turned towards him. You wrapped yourself into a tiny ball, holding your stomach. Two giant steps and he was by your side.

"Y/N, darling, what's wrong? Are you in pain? What happened?"

You turned your head towards him, your cheeks glistened. 'Oh Norns, you were crying.'

"My tummy hurts. It hurts so bad, I don't know what else to do. I took a pill, but it's not working. I hate being a girl," you hid under covers.

'You hate being a girl? What? I don't under- oh.' The realisation dawned on him. You had period cramps. And nasty ones.

He gently pulled those covers from your face so you could breathe and wiped your sweaty forhead. "Love, tell me what to do to make you feel better," he whispered in your ear.

You shaked your head, new tears of pain appeared. "There's nothing anyone can do. I always have to suffer through first days, nothing helps. Just let me be, I'll be fine tomorrow, I promise."

"My love, I am not just anyone," he wiped your teary cheeks with his thumb, "can I lay next to you?"

You sobbed as you nodded. He pressed his chest to your back, earning him another sob, which nearly made him cry.

His lips brushed your ear. "Can I touch your belly? I'll be gentle I promise," his thumb was already drawing circles on your hip, trying to destract you. You nodded again, trusting him fully.

He snaked his hands from behind you to your front. His palms found themselves a place underneath your belly button. He closed his eyes and concentrated. Golden light seeped into your skin.

The more he concentrated the more your body relaxed. He started drawing little circles with his fingers along your skin. Not that the spell required it. He wanted to do it, so he did.

After you relaxed completely he pulled you into him, nuzzling the back of your neck. "There, this should do for the whole day. How do you feel?"

"Amazing, thank you Loki," you intertwined your fingers with his and snuggled even closer to him.

"My pleasure darling," you carefully turned your body around amd stared into his eyes. Hi forhead touched yours, his eyes never left your face. He started telling you fairy tales and little stories in his quiet raspy voice. You interrupted his telling with a big yawn.

Loki slowly sat up and caressed your face with his knuckles. "You should get some sleep, you need it," he moved to get up, but your hand stopped him.

"Stay, please. At least until I fall asleep," fear was evident in your eyes.

Loki smiled down at you and removed your blanket from your body momentarily. "Don't worry my sweet. As long as I'm here, no pain will come back to torment you," his long fingers pulled the hem of your t-shirt up to reveal your tummy. He bent down and gave your hurting belly a little loving kiss. "I promise."

[alicanta77]

Finale: All or Nothing

Pairing: y/n x Haechan

Themes: angst, fluff, suspense(?)

Warnings: swearing, zombies, blood, violence, death, virus, illness, anxiety, mentions of abusive family, needles (one injection)

Words: 12.4k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Finale

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The inspiration for this story came from my amazing friend @2-cute-4-school and her story called ‘Evanescent’. Her work is so brilliant and she is such an under-appreciated writer. I can’t recommend or praise her enough. Thank you to the ends of the earth for letting me use it as a starting point.

I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has read post mortem. This is my first series and it so special to me so it means so much to receive likes, comments and tags saying that you enjoyed it. It has brought me brilliant friends such as @in-my-neofeelings and @honei-n and I couldn’t be more thankful for that. It’s been a wild ride so far and I hope you enjoy the finale!

Felix xox

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Jeno walked swiftly down the hallway. He had holding a single piece of paper, folded in half to hide what was on it and his feet were almost silent as he made his way to your room. He turned a quick corner, knocking on your door three times, pausing for a second, then knocking again twice, before letting himself in.

He closed the door behind him, twisting the lock so that it clicked, before turning around and facing the rest of you. He held up the paper in his hands.

‘I’ve mapped out the blueprint of the army base.’

I.N. spoke next, running a hand through his hair to hide the fact that it was shaking slightly.

‘I’ve figured out how to override the system.’

Wooyoung joined in, swallowing before talking.

‘I’ve sorted our weapons.’

You spoke last. 

‘I’ve planned our route.’

The four of you looked around at each other, your obvious nerves making the tension levels rise.

I.N. took a deep breath.

‘Ok, so we’re all set for going back into the simulation.’

You nodded, determination taking over your mind as you shared a look with the boys in front of you.

‘Let’s blow this thing up.’

It hadn’t been easy to get organised. Especially not without drawing any attention to yourselves. Jeno had managed to draw up a map of the army base, marking the easiest route to the kill switch. He still remembered the ins and outs of that place from his summer camp, therefore was nominated the best person for the job. I.N. had spent his few days in the tech lab. He worked alongside a few other technicians, supporting people in the simulation. He quickly realised however, that they weren’t supporting them, but instead were directing packs of zombies towards them, trying to get as many people as possible to turn. It was in mindless conversations with these people that I.N. managed to ask a few questions about the system and get a vague understanding of how it worked. Wooyoung had been the one to realise that you would need weapons. Once the people here figured out that you had gone, they were going to come after you with everything they had. You knew too much. You were going to have to protect yourself, and Wooyoung managed to figure out how. And your job was to plan the way to the army base. You were hoping that I.N. could find a way to place you at the army base but, just in case, you had planned seven other routes. You had also spoken to Donghyuck’s sister, begging her to stay safe and keep her head down for the time you were away. You didn’t tell her much, only that you were going to get Donghyuck. She seemed to understand a lot more than you thought she did, as she gently held on to you while you hugged goodbye, taking the chance to whisper “do what you have to” in your ear. You had no idea if she had figured out what was really going on, but you knew you would never underestimate the girl again.

Tomorrow was the big day. Tomorrow was when it mattered. Tomorrow you went back into the simulation.

---

You were lying in bed that night, Jeno next to you as you chatted with each other about random things, trying to ease your nerves. You were glad that he hadn’t left you alone, instead claiming that he would wait for you to fall asleep before heading back to his own room.

‘What do you think will happen to us in there?’ He asked, changing the subject from whether starfish have feelings to the task ahead of you.

‘I don’t know.’ You answered honestly. ‘Probably what happened before, except harder. There are more zombies and we have to be careful not to get bitten. I mean, we always were careful but... everything relies on us now.’

‘As long as one of us makes it we’ll be okay.’ He reasoned, keeping his eyes on the ceiling above him. ‘We’re gonna get to see everyone again too.’

‘Yeah.’ You breathed out, your mind filled with the memories of Hyuck and you couldn’t begin to imagine what it would feel like to see him again. ‘It feels like it’s been a lifetime since I saw them last.’

‘I know.’ Jeno replied. And he really did. Since you both got your real memories back, your friendship had gone right back to normal. It was such a relief to have someone who understood the situation you were both put in, especially as it was so hard to explain.

A silence fell over the two of you for a second.

‘Are you thinking about Hyuck?’ He asked, turning his head to look at you.

‘Yeah.’ You said honestly, keeping your eyes on the ceiling and blinking back the tears that were gathering. ‘I miss him.’

‘I know you do... I also know that he misses you too, if not more. I still can’t quite wrap my mind around the fact that they actually think that we’re dead.’ Jeno looked back at the ceiling, blinking back tears of his own before you saw them. ‘Do you think they’ll believe us when we tell them about the simulation?’

‘I mean, we’ll be alive. Surely that must be proof enough?’ You wondered. ‘Although, it almost doesn’t matter whether they believe us or not. We actually don’t need them to, we just need to hit that button.’

Jeno nodded.

‘You’re right. We need to focus on shutting it down and we can properly reunite and explain everything to them once we’ve woken up again.’

You hummed in agreement, your eyes shutting slightly as tiredness began to take over you.

---

Tomorrow had arrived.

You woke up to an empty room, Jeno fulfilling his promise and heading back to his once you had fallen asleep. You looked over at the alarm clock on your bedside table, the red numbers staring back at you. 

9:37am

You were meeting the boys in Wooyoung’s room at 10am, as per I.N.’s request, meaning you had 20 minutes. You lay in bed for a short while, the thought of what you were preparing to do occupying your mind, before climbing out and heading towards the shower.

After a quick shower, you dried off and pulled on some more clothes. All the clothes supplied here were the same, tracksuit bottoms and a t shirt, the colours just varied every day. Today you had white bottoms and a white t shirt as well. You pulled them on before walking towards your door. You opened it, stepped into the hallway and began making your way to Wooyoung’s room.

---

By the time you arrived, the other boys were already there. There was a heavy silence in the air, it was clear that they’d been discussing something before you’d arrived.

‘What wrong?’ You asked, afraid of what they were about to tell you.

‘Dr Kim is in the pod room. He booked it last night and apparently won’t be leaving for the rest of the week.’ Jeno explained.

Your brows furrowed slightly in confusion.

‘Ok, that’s not good, not at all. Is Dr Kim-’

‘The one you overheard with Jeno? Yes.’ I.N. cut you off. ‘Look, we can’t waste any time. I say that, as soon as he leaves the room, we go in, lock the door, and get into that simulation.’

The three of you nodded in agreement.

‘I.N’s right.’ Wooyoung said. ‘We don’t have time to wait for an opening, we’re gonna need to create one. We can hear the door opening from here so, as long as we are near, we can make sure to take that gap.’

‘There’s something else.’ I.N. abruptly mentioned. You and the two other boys turning to look at him quizzically. ‘The three of you are going in alone.’

‘What? I.N. wait-’

‘No, let me explain.’ I.N. interrupted Wooyoung’s protest. You didn’t know how to feel, you had been prepared for all of you going in, you weren’t sure how you were going to leave him behind. ‘The three of you are going in alone because you have to. Firstly, in order to get into the simulation, someone else has to “authorise” it, for lack of a better word. You are going to be lying in a pod, and I’m going to “authorise” you going in. No matter what we try and do, one of us would always have to stay behind. And it has to be me. The three of you are much more suited for the challenge ahead, I’m just the brains of the operation. Plus, I’ve got to make sure that no one can follow you in or pull you out, therefore I need to stay here. Besides, from out here I can throw them off your scent, hack into the camera system to make sure that the cameras don’t follow you, and other things like that.’

He looked around at you, easily telling from your faces that you clearly weren’t okay with this development.

‘I.N. we need all four of us. We can do this if we’re together.’ Jeno pleaded, but I.N. simply shook his head.

‘You can do this alone.’

‘No I.N. we need you. Like you said you’re the brains of this and what if we come across a problem that you know how to solve but we don’t? You have to come with us.’ You begged him, but he didn’t change his opinion.

‘You have to trust me on this. You need to leave me behind.’

Wooyoung was the only one who hadn’t said anything, just staring at his friend sadly.

‘You know they’ll punish you for us going in right? You’re going to pay for the consequences of our actions.’ Wooyoung whispered, obviously scared for what would happen once you leave.

‘I know.’ I.N. replied, his voice quiet but surprisingly calm. ‘But that should buy you guys some time. And you’re going to need all the time you can get.’

The three of you nodded, finally understanding that, even if I.N. wanted to, he couldn’t join you in the simulation. He needed to protect you from the outside.

‘Just... promise me one favour?’ I.N. asked.

‘Anything.’ Wooyoung guaranteed.

‘Let them know that I’m okay. Especially Chan... please just make sure he’s not blaming himself.’ He whispered.

You felt yourself nodding. You couldn’t help but let your mind drift off to the boys who were in there, waiting for you. You thought of how Renjun had argued with you not to become a raider in the first place, claiming that he just wanted you to be safe. You thought of how Jaemin had only ever asked one thing of you, and that was for you to stay alive. You thought of how desperate San had been to stay with you when you had told him to leave you behind. And you thought of how Donghyuck had looked when you told him you were going on that final run. You thought of how you could see every part of him want to tell you “no”. You thought of how many times he had pulled you in for a hug and begged to stay with him. And you thought of how he had looked when he sat by your grave. They needed to know that you were okay. They needed to know that you didn’t blame them. They needed to know that you loved them.

The sound of a door opening and harsh footsteps treading down the hallway next to you interrupted your thoughts. The four of you froze, listening to the muttering voice of Dr Kim disappearing down the corridor as he muttered about being interrupted.

‘The room’s empty.’ I.N. stated.

Jeno stood up, quietly opening the door and checking that it was clear before turning back to the rest of you.

‘Let’s go.’

---

‘This better be important.’ Dr Kim stormed into his office. ‘I have other business to attend to.’

‘Sir, you’re going to want to see this.’

The head doctor, Dr Kim, turned his head towards the voice of his assistant. On their computer screen was a video, a video of your conversation from last night. Dr Kim leaned on the desk in front of him as he listened to the four of you talk.

‘Ok, so we’re all set for going back into the simulation.’

‘Yes. Let’s blow this thing up.’ 

Dr Kim took a deep breath as he tried to make sense of this development. 

‘How did they find out?’ He asked, his voice quiet but the anger clear.

‘We don’t know.’ His assistant replied. ‘But they’re planning to head back into the simulation and shut it down. They’ve... they’ve found the kill switch.’

Dr Kim’s eyes shot to his assistant, who once again shrugged, answering the question he hadn’t yet asked.

‘Then the answer is simple. We need to stop them. Shut down the pod room, no one goes in and I want to be alerted if there is any attempt to override the system. And you-’ Dr Kim clicked at the bodyguard on his right side. ‘Let’s go pay our little heroes a visit. I think they’re in need of a few new memories, don’t you?’

---

You watched as I.N. shut the door tight behind him, making sure to twist the lock. He stopped briefly, taking a quick look around before beginning his instructions.

‘Ok, Wooyoung, go into that cupboard and grab the solution that’s there, y/n, find me a syringe and Jeno, go and open three of those pods.’

You all nodded, quickly scrambling to fulfil your orders. You were pulling open random drawers, desperately looking for a syringe for I.N. to use. You were on your seventh when you finally found it. You turned around triumphantly, holding it out for I.N. to take when the lights surrounding the door went red and a low electronic groan echoed out.

‘What was that?’ Jeno asked to no one in particular.

‘We don’t have time to wait around and find out.’ I.N. grabbed the syringe out of you hand while uttering those words. The tension was unbearable, all of you knowing that you had a very short amount of time before you were caught.

What none of you knew was that, you had already run out of time.

---

Dr Kim threw open Wooyoung’s door, a shout of frustration leaving his mouth as he found it empty. He had been to all of your rooms in an attempt to find you. He stormed into the corridor again, his eyes drifting to the pod room down the hall. He walked up towards the door, pressed his ear against the wood, and listened.

His guard behind him had a hand on his gun as he watched Dr Kim’s face transform into an expression of absolute rage.

‘They’re in there.’ He forced through gritted teeth. He turned around and looked at his guard before shouting. ‘Get this door open!’

The guard moved forwards immediately, putting the gun back in its holster and attempting to kick down the door. After a few tries he turned around.

‘It won’t budge. It needs to be opened from the control room.’ He informed the doctor in front of him.

Dr Kim let out a strangled scream and lunged forward to grab the radio off the guard’s waist. He lifted it up to his mouth and spoke into it, shouting instructions at the people in the control room.

‘I want the door to the pod room open right now!’

‘But Dr Kim, if that-’ A static voice came through from the other side, giving him some excuse as to why he needed to wait.

‘I don’t care! Open the door now!’ Dr Kim threw the radio back at the guard in front of him and watched as the lights around the door changed from a red to white, signalling that it was unlocked.

He threw the door open and burst into the room.

---

‘Get this door open!’

Dr Kim’s voice travelled through the door separating you and the four of you inside looked at each other in fear.

‘Jeno, quick! Come here.’ I.N. instructed, moving the syringe so that it was close to his neck. He had already given you and Wooyoung injections, only Jeno’s was left. He pulled the syringe out, ready to send you back into the simulation. ‘Go and lie in a pod and close the door on top of you.’

His voice was sharp and clear, not a single trace of fear in it, the only thing betraying him were his slightly shaking hands. You could hear a loud bang come from the door as you ran towards the closest pod. You turned back towards I.N. as a thought crossed your mind.

‘I.N.!’ You called out, only getting a hum in response. ‘Can you do me a favour?’

I.N. looked up at you for a split second, his expression conveying all he needed to say.

Now is not the time to ask questions but yes, what do you need?

‘Please, look after Hyuck’s sister for me? Make sure that she’s okay.’

I.N. nodded.

‘I promise.’

You felt a small amount of relief flow through you. You were leaving without speaking to her so you were glad to know that she would be protected. You quickly lay down in your open pod, pulled the door down over you, and, as the door clicked shut, you were encased in a pale blue light.

A few seconds passed before I.N’s voice came through.

‘Ok, I can’t seem to put you straight into the army base for some reason, the location is locked on here and I don’t have time to figure out how to hack it, but I’m going to drop you as close as I can. It’s in the nearby city and looks like it’s just under half a day’s walk away.’

You took a deep breath as you mentally pictured the maps you had drawn up. You knew you had planned some routes that went through nearby cities, you just weren’t sure which on you were going to be dropped in.

‘If I remember correctly from when we went in, you’re going to get very drowsy in a minute, just relax into it. Let the simulation take you okay? Don’t panic.’

He paused for a minute, leaving you in silence, your own breathing being the only thing you could hear. You could feel your eyes begin to relax and the tiredness swept through your veins. You could feel your heart rate begin to rise, all the memories from the simulation flooding back through your mind. Your father’s death, Jeno’s death, Donghyuck’s sister’s death, the first girl you killed. But you forced those pictures out of your mind. This time wasn’t going to be like that. You were prepared. You weren’t going in there to just fight for your life, you were going in there to save everyone. I.N.’s voice came back over the speakers, just as you lost consciousness completely.

‘Good luck.’

---

You opened your eyes.

You were surprised to find yourself standing up. You were stood in the middle of a road, clearly on an abandoned high street. The shops up and down the pavement were empty, some even having been looted. You turned to look around you, spotting Wooyoung and Jeno a little further down.

You took an experimental step, relieved when you didn’t go crashing to the ground, and took off in a jog. Both of the boys saw you moving towards them and came forwards to meet you halfway.

You came to a halt when you reached them, the three of you standing in silence.

‘Well...’ Wooyoung spoke, his eyes constantly darting around your surroundings. ‘We made it.’

‘Yeah, I guess we did.’ You mumbled, your eyes looking down at the ground. It was only when you did this, did you realise the clothes that you were wearing. ‘Oh my god! I’m in the clothes I died in.’ You realised, both Jeno and Wooyoung’s eyes darting to their bodies as well.

You recognised Jeno’s outfit from the final day at Mark, the sight of him running through the infested house on the monitors was not one that you would easily forget, and judging from Wooyoung’s shocked face, he was also wearing what he had been killed in.

‘Wow. Yeah, thankfully the clothes from just before we died. Cause, you know, there wouldn’t be much left of mine otherwise.’ Jeno’s shot a smile at the two of you. 

You stared at him in disbelief, a laugh leaving you despite the circumstances.

‘Only you could joke about blowing yourself up like that.’ You chuckled.

But Wooyoung whirled around to stare at Jeno.

‘You blew yourself up?’ He asked, as Jeno nodded in confirmation.

‘Yeah, just pulled the pin on a grenade and ran into a group of zombies.’ He shrugged like it was no big deal, causing Wooyoung to stare at you.

‘It’s true.’ You informed him. ‘We were in the floor above. The blast knocked us off our feet.’ Your voice got quieter towards the end. Even though Jeno was very much alive, listening to the blast and coming down to the wreckage of Mark’s kitchen wasn’t an easy thing to forget.

Jeno placed a hand on your shoulder, sending you a comforting smile. You sent one back before turning to Wooyoung again.

‘But what about you? San told me all about your heroics, sacrificing yourself so that they could get into the army base.’ You grinned at him, watching as Wooyoung blushed slightly.

‘I’m not the only one though, who sacrificed myself for San am I?’ He asked, looking you directly in the eye.

Your smile shrunk slightly, leaving only a sad one on your lips.

‘We weren’t both making it out of that alive.’

You all fell into silence after you spoke those words, all replaying the scenes of your own deaths in your minds. It wasn’t something you ever expected to be haunted with, but here you were, stumbling back through this wasted version of the world, being stalked by your own ghost.

‘Let’s just get our weapons and move on?’ You suggested, breaking the tension as both boys nodded in agreement.

‘If I remember correctly...’ Wooyoung muttered, mainly to himself as he walked through a broken shop window. He disappeared for a while, making yours and Jeno’s hearts race in fear. You had forgotten the terror that came along with losing sight of someone for a few seconds in this climate. 

His head popped up again, a childish smile on his face. 

‘Found it.’ He informed you, even though neither you nor Jeno had any clue as to what “it” was.

‘You know,’ Wooyoung continued. ‘I.N. actually couldn’t have dropped us in a better place, I grew up around here and I know that the owner of this store was very paranoid about people stealing his things. So he had a secret compartment put in, and filled it with these.’

Wooyoung appeared over the top again, this time holding a gun in each hand. They were large guns, similar to the kind that you had used at Mark’s. He handed one to each of you and then grabbed one more for himself. He also pulled a box out that was filled with cases of spare bullets.

‘I thought we might need these too.’ He said as he unzipped a backpack on the floor, emptying the contents and filling it again with the cases of bullets and a few spare pistols. He also made sure to hand both you and Jeno a handgun. 

‘How do you know all of this?’ Jeno asked, his eyes wide at the sight in front of him.

‘Hmmm? Oh I worked here part time. It paid quite well actually. He only ever took on three students a year so it was really competitive.’ Wooyoung replied.

‘So he told all his employees about this? How come no one else took these?’ You wondered aloud.

‘Oh no. He didn’t tell all of his employees. Only me.’ Wooyoung corrected you.

‘Well, please don’t take this the wrong way, but why you?’

Wooyoung looked up at Jeno’s question, diverting his eyes from the gun in front of him.

‘Simple. He liked me.’

Another large smile broke out across the boy’s face, one that made you smile with him, without realising it. Wooyoung was such a happy virus, someone who could make people happy or brighten their day without even trying. Your mind drifted to Donghyuck. The only boy who could make you smile even in the worst of circumstances. You missed him. You missed him so much that it physically hurt. It sometimes felt like he was the only thing keeping you going.

‘Right.’ Wooyoung’s voice cut through your train of thought. ‘Shall we go?’

You opened your mouth to answer but before you got a chance to, a low groan sounded through the high street. It was a noise that you hadn’t heard for a while, but nevertheless, still managed to send a chill of terror down your spine.

You turned slowly and made eye contact with the zombie staring at you through the broken store window.

---

‘Where are they?’ The Dr Kim bellowed as he burst into the camera room. ‘I want eyes on the three of them right now!’

All he got in response were frantic nods from the staff as they combed through every camera that they possibly could to find the four of you.

‘Doctor! I found them.’ A voice from the far left called out.

‘Put them up on the screen.’ Dr Kim instructed, watching as the main screen on the wall lit up with a picture of you all walking through the empty high street.

‘That street... I know that street.’ Dr Kim mused. He turned to the guard on his left and barked an instruction. ‘You, go to y/n’s room and grab the papers on her bed.’

The guard left immediately, running down the corridor.

‘Send a zombie their way.’

The staff nodded in response to his request and watched as you turned to look at the zombie now watching you through the window. Dr Kim focused as Wooyoung pulled the gun up and shot it through the head immediately, not wasting a second.

‘They’re not afraid to kill anymore. They know that they’ll only wake the person up. I want them out of there as soon as possible.’

‘Do you want us to organise for them to die? Or to pull their pods out?’ One of the crew asked.

‘No.’ Dr Kim muttered. ‘They know too much, and there’s no guarantee that they won’t figure it out again. Fake memories are hard to create and even harder to make last, our best chance was putting the two of them into a relationship. If that didn’t work before it’s not worth wasting the time and resources to try and do it again.’

‘So, what should we do doctor?’ The same person questioned.

‘There’s only one answer really, they can’t leave. We have to make sure they turn. Push forwards the mutation of the virus. What stage are we at currently?’

‘Stage 3 out of 5.’ Another voice appeared from somewhere in the room, Dr Kim didn’t know and didn’t care where.

‘Mutate it. I want stage 5. Enable the virus to be transmitted through insects. If they get bitten by an infected mosquito, I want them infected, if they eat a vegetable grown near infected bugs in the soil, I want the disease to travel to the food, if they smell a flower pollinated by a bee, I want that bee to be infected and I want the virus to transmit to them. Understand?’

He looked around at the staff behind him, all of them shouting agreement with his plan and turning towards their computers to put it into action. 

The guard appeared again,  holding out the papers towards Dr Kim. The doctor practically ripped them out of his hands, rolling them out on the table in front of him. He pointed to one drawing in particular.

‘Look, they’ve planned their route.’ He could now see exactly the journey you were planning to take to reach the army base. He checked the screen and saw the mutated virus already starting to have effects. He smiled and turned to the staff in front of him. ‘What do you say we send a few old friends to break up the party?’

---

Wooyoung reacted before either you or Jeno could, pulling the gun into position and shooting a bullet straight into the zombie’s forehead. You watched as its body hit the ground with a dull thud.

‘Jesus.’ Wooyoung breathed. ‘I forgot how terrifying seeing one of those was.’

Jeno turned around where he was and sent Wooyoung a nod.

‘Yeah me too, thanks.’

Wooyoung shrugged it off.

‘Probably better for them right? I mean, they’re gonna wake up now.’

‘Yeah, you’re right’ You piped up. ‘We can’t be afraid to pull the trigger anymore. We know nothing bad is going to happen so just, aim for the head so that it’s quick and doesn’t leave them in pain.’

Jeno and Wooyoung nodded slowly. As well as the three of you knew what was waiting for you on the outside of the simulation, and that dying here was nothing to be afraid of, it was still difficult to pull that trigger.

‘We seriously need to move, we don’t want to stop if we can help it.’ Wooyoung said, hoisting the bag over his shoulder.

Jeno turned to you expectantly, waiting to see what direction you were going in.

‘Ok, from the routes I created, we need to head West from here. Luckily for us, there’s an almost direct path from where we are now, to the army base.’

You pointed in the direction you needed to head as you spoke, Wooyoung nodding in agreement. Having someone around who knew these areas would be incredibly useful.

The three of you set off, your hands firmly on your weapons as you began your trek to the army base. You walked all the way down the high street, crossing the empty roads to take other paths. You ensured that you always took the largest street possible, not wanting to meet a group of zombies in a tight alleyway.

All the minutes seemed to blur into one as you walked. Your mind began to wander and you thought of I.N. You wondered if he had gotten into trouble when they had found him alone in the pod room. You were scared that they were going to wipe his memories again, but you were even more afraid that they were going to hurt him. You hoped that he had stayed true to his word and that he was looking after Donghyuck’s sister. You were praying that she would be okay.

The tall buildings gradually began to shrink as you left the centre of the town you were dropped in. Jeno was a few steps ahead of the rest of you and Wooyoung, naturally walking at a faster pace. The silence between the three of you was getting louder with every step when suddenly, the low groan that you had not missed in the slightest, cut through. Your heart sank, out of annoyance rather than fear.

That annoyance quickly evolved into fear when you recognised the zombie leading the silent pack walking towards you.

It was Hongjoon.

Someone who had run the army base when you were there. He had offered you support before and after every run, he had been there to listen anytime you needed to talk. You knew he was someone who could be trusted.

But here he was. In front of you, stumbling forward as though he had no idea who you were.

Wooyoung didn’t move, his voice shaking slightly as he tried to talk.

‘Hyung?’

Hongjoon’s eyes shot towards his younger friend, opening slightly wider for a second, as if in recognition, before they turned back to you, narrowed, and he shot forwards. He moved like lightening, you only had a second to shout out before you were on the ground, underneath Hongjoon who was biting at you with everything he had.

Wooyoung pulled his gun into position and aimed at his friend’s head. He could hear your shouts as you pushed against the infected boy with all your might, yet he didn’t pull the trigger.

‘Wooyoung, shoot!’ You screamed. ‘It’s not real! Shoot!’

A shot rang out and Hongjoon collapsed on top of you. You rolled him off you and on to the ground and looked up. It wasn’t Wooyoung who had fired, it was Jeno. Jeno grabbed you by the hand and pulled you up. He turned to shoot an accusing look at Wooyoung, preparing to say something, but he was interrupted by the rest of the crowd of zombies breaking out into a run behind you. 

The three of you took off. You tried leading the boys on your planned route to the army base but more zombies just appeared from that direction.

‘How are there so many all of a sudden?’ Jeno asked in between breaths.

‘I don’t know!’ You said, frustration bubbling up inside you. ‘It’s almost as if they’re spawning here.’ Then a sudden realisation dawned on you. ‘The lab must have found our plans. They know our route, we have to find another way.’

Jeno’s eyes widened in desperation, the both of you wracking your brains in an attempt to think of an escape plan. You hadn’t noticed that in an attempt to escape the undead hoard chasing you, you had circled back and were heading back into the main city. 

Suddenly, Wooyoung’s voice rang out.

‘I know a way. Follow me.’

He sped up as he ran back into the streets of the city he knew. You and Jeno both followed, piling on the extra speed in order to keep up. You turned a sharp corner a few seconds after Wooyoung and found him attempting to open a manhole cover. Jeno crouched down next to him to help and, together, they lifted the metal cover off. It was on hinges so it should be easy to close after you.

‘You’ve gotta be kidding me.’ You groaned.

‘It’s either down here with a few rats, or out there with them.’ Wooyoung nodded in the direction of the zombies. Their footsteps getting dangerously loud.

You sighed, nodding in agreement. Wooyoung climbed in first and then Jeno held out a hand to offer you help.

‘No.’ You bluntly refused.

‘No? y/n I thought you said you were ok going in? We don’t have-’

‘Not that kind of no.’ You cut him off. ‘I’m going in, I’m just going in last.’

You could see Jeno was confused so you explained hurriedly, trying to keep your voice as steady and as hard as possible. But you didn’t quite manage to stop it form shaking.

‘The last time you offered to go last was at Mark’s and the next think I knew, I was watching you die. I don’t care if this is a simulation, I’m not risking it again.’

Jeno’s expression completely changed. He looked like he wanted to say something but Wooyoung voice travelled up from below before he could.

‘What the hell is taking you two so long? Don’t worry, I know these tunnels.’

Jeno swung his legs into the manhole, climbing down the ladder quickly. You waited until he was a few rungs down before lower yourself in too. You had just got your lower body in and you were reaching for the lid when the first zombie skidded around the corner. It let out a sort of yell, almost in triumph, and you slamming the cover shut over you. You bent yourself in half slightly, not being far enough down the ladder to close the top and stand up straight.

You thought that would be okay but the lid started to move up again and you got a glimpse of the zombie trying to open it.

‘Wooyoung! How do I shut this?’ You screamed down.

‘The wheel on the inside. Turn it!’ Wooyoung yelled back, the panic clear in his voice.

If you didn’t get this wheel locked it would be game over.

You tried to step down slightly, not being able to pull the door down with force at the angle you were standing. However, it was incredibly difficult as you had both your hands on the wheel above you. You placed another foot down, but this time you misjudged where the step was and slipped. You went down about two rungs, a yelp escaping you as you did so.

‘Y/n!’ Wooyoung screamed from the floor.

You felt a strong hand come up and grab the back of your thigh, steadying you.

‘You’re okay. Now, close it.’ Jeno’s words brought you right back down to earth and filled you with the strength you needed.

You gave the cover a powerful tug, yanking the wheel to the right as you did so. You kept both hands there, turning the wheel until you couldn’t physically turn it anymore. Eventually you stilled, your hands stopping their frantic movements.

You stood where you were, pausing just to catch your breath.

‘We’ve gotta keep moving.’ Wooyoung’s voice echoed up through the tunnel and you nodded.

You released the metal wheel above you, instead grabbing the ladder and lowering yourself down onto the floor.

‘Let’s go. I know a path into the woods, I’m pretty sure that it has an exit close to the army base.’

Wooyoung made to move off but Jeno’s hand shot out, grabbing him by the shoulder, stilling his movements.

‘Not so fast kiddo.’ He said, staring the shorter male down.

‘I’m older than you.’ Wooyoung muttered, his eyes facing the floor. Despite the fact that Wooyoung was older, it was obvious who had the power in this verbal exchange.

‘You didn’t take the shot.’ Jeno said, watching as Wooyoung swallowed. ‘You had a clear shot, you wouldn’t have hit y/n, but you didn’t take the shot. Instead you put her in danger, and in turn, endangering everything that we’re trying to do here. You know it’s not going harm them. Why didn’t you take the shot?’

‘I tried to. But he was still my friend. I was staring at the face of my friend. I know that he’s going to wake up, and that he’s probably better off dead than as one of those, but... I just didn’t think it would be that hard to pull the trigger. I’ve done it plenty of times. Hell, I even did it earlier today, but when I was looking into the eyes of someone I knew... I couldn’t do it.’

Jeno sighed deeply. You could tell that he understood where Wooyoung was coming from.

‘Ok.’ He said, Wooyoung looking up in shock at how fast Jeno moved on from it. ‘No one got hurt, and hopefully by taking this route we shouldn’t have to see anyone else.’

Wooyoung smiled thankfully, turning around and pointing down the tunnel.

‘It’s this way.’

And once again, you set off.

---

Your throat was dry, your legs ached and you were tired. You had been walking for hours and you were worried that it was going to be dark when you left the safety of these tunnels. Wooyoung wasn’t lying when he said that he knew them well, from the easy way he was guiding you through them, he had clearly spent a lot of time in them when he was younger. You had to admit that Wooyoung had made himself an invaluable member of your team. You really had no idea how you could have gotten this far without him.

As thankful as you were to everything Wooyoung had done so far, you had never loved him more than when he told you that you could stop walking. He approached the ladder in front of him, gently placing his hands on either side and whispering.

‘This is it.’

He climbed first, turning the wheel to unlock it at the top and wincing as it creaked loudly as he pushed it open. Wooyoung paused with it open slightly, listening for the tell tale noises of the undead, and then continued to open it completely.

You climbed out of the top, savouring the fresh air, pausing to listen for a guttural groan or ominous footsteps but, instead, you were greeted with a blissful silence. 

Well, almost blissful.

‘Careful!’

A voice echoed through woods, a voice strangely familiar that caused both yours and Jeno’s head shoot up.

‘That sounded like Renjun.’ You whispered breathlessly, the thought of seeing your longest friend after what had felt like an eternity was almost alien to you.

‘I know. But it can’t have been him, he’s at the base.’ Jeno reasoned.

‘Jaemin, you ridiculously stupid moron.’ The voice appeared again, causing you and Jeno to share a smile.

‘No.’ Jeno’s eyes curved up into crescents. ‘That’s Renjun.’

‘Renjun!’ You shouted out, starting to jog towards where you had heard him before.

You didn’t get a reply, causing to you panic as an indescribable feeling of sadness took over you. 

‘Renjun, it’s the grief. It can cause you to hear people when they’re not there.’

‘I’m not an idiot, San. I know my best friend’s voice.’

Your heart sped up again, warmth spreading throughout your entire body as you called out.

‘Renjun?’

This time you got a reply.

‘Y/n?’ You heard footsteps speed up, getting louder as they got closer to you. ‘Oh please be real, please be real, please be-’

Renjun turned into your line of vision, his words and movements stopping suddenly as he laid eyes on you. You smiled at him, tears starting to blur your vision.

‘Hi.’ You said.

That was all it took. Renjun threw himself forwards, pulling you in for the tightest hug you had ever felt in your life. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and hugged him back, feeling his tears begin to wet your neck.

‘You’re real. I knew it, you’re real.’

His words got lost in a haze of disbelief and shock at the sight of you standing in front of him, alive.

He pulled away, cupping your hands with his face, wiping away the tears that had fallen. He just stared at you, utter amazement gracing his features. Then, finally, a smile broke out. The largest smile you had ever seen. He wrapped his arms back around your waist, pulling you around in a circle as he screamed happily into the air.

‘I was right!’

It was at this moment that Jeno, Jaemin and San also found their way to where you were. You pulled away from Renjun, staring at the two boys behind him as Renjun’s eyes locked on to Jeno. You stroked Renjun’s face one last time as you moved away. Renjun hit Jeno at full force, hugging him tight and bursting into tears again. You didn’t move, looking only at Jaemin. He was staring back at you, clearly not knowing what to say.

So you smiled.

‘Miss me?’ You asked, watching as Jaemin’s face broke out into a smile matching yours and he laughed with glee as he ran towards you. He picked you up in a hug, his laughter never stopping. You couldn’t help but laugh back. He put you down, finally managing to get some words out.

‘Oh god I missed you so much. You’re alive!’

You nodded, the smile on your face was starting to hurt but you couldn’t make it smaller even if you wanted to. You pulled away from him after a short while, allowing him to greet Jeno and you were left facing San.

San didn’t meet your eyes, instead choosing to stare at his feet.

‘San?’ You asked, hoping that he would at least look at you.

You could see the boy blinking rapidly, chewing on his bottom lip at the same time. Eventually you couldn’t take it anymore. You walked towards him and pulled him in for a hug. The second your hand made contact with his shoulder, San broke down, hugging you as tight as the others and whispering about how sorry he was.

‘Shhhhh, it wasn’t your fault. You did exactly what you should have done.’ You comforted him.

You pulled away sooner than you wanted to, but you knew he had to see Wooyoung.

‘I have a surprise for you.’ You said, smiling at him.

San sent you a teary but confused smile back, and you wordlessly grabbed his hand and turned him around.

Upon seeing Wooyoung, San moved faster than you had ever seen him move before. He shot towards the boy, Wooyoung moving forwards too as they reunited. Renjun appeared back at your shoulder, keeping an arm around you, as if to remind himself that you were really there.

‘I’m so happy you’re okay, but I have to ask, how?’

You shared a look with Jeno and called out to Wooyoung and San.

‘We’ll tell you on the way. It’s not an easy story.’

‘On the way? Wait where are you going?’ Jaemin asked, placing a hand on your chest to stop you moving.

‘Back to the army base.’ Jeno explained. ‘There’s something there that we need to do.’

Renjun and Jaemin shared a nervous look.

‘What’s happened?’ You asked, your hope diminishing by the second.

‘We’ve lost the army base.’ Renjun said bluntly. ‘People started turning from the inside, with no scratch, bite, or even contact with a zombie. It was as if it was in the air. Anyone who could abandoned the building immediately. Within under two hours it wasn’t safe anymore.’

‘Are you three the only ones who made it out?’ Wooyoung voiced the question you were too afraid to ask.

‘We don’t know.’ San chimed in. ‘The three of us left within a few seconds of each other. All we know is that we were the first out. If anyone got out after us, they can’t be far away.’

‘This isn’t part of the plan.’ You whispered, bringing your hand up to your head to rub your forehead.

‘What plan?’ Renjun asked, his eyes flickering between you and Jeno.

‘The plan. The plan that’s going to save us, to end this all.’ You rambled, not even fully sure of what you were saying.

‘End this all? Wait do you know how to stop the apocalypse?’ Jaemin asked.

‘There is no apocalypse!’ You exploded. ‘None of this is fucking real! It’s a damn simulation.’

‘A simulation...’ Renjun repeated.

‘Yes, a simulation. Aren’t the three of us proof enough that this can’t be real life. Jaemin, you shot me. In the head. How the fuck would I recover from that?’

Jaemin flinched at the reminder of your death. Jeno, noticing how your distressed state was unsettling others, tried to calm you down.

‘y/n, just breath for a minute ok?’

You whirled around.

‘No! Not okay. I’m so fucking done with this. How much hell have we been put through. I have killed people, and watched them been killed. I have lost friends, lost memories, left people behind, fought for my life and it still isn’t enough. When is this shit going to end? What more can they put me through?’

You turned towards the sky and screamed.

‘Fuck you! You hear that Dr Kim? Fuck you and your little experiment. I’m still finding a way to shut you down. Because you know what? I’m getting that happy ending. Cause after all the shit you’ve put me through, I fucking deserve it!’

You sat down, trying to catch your breath after your meltdown. You stared at the grass in front of you, ignoring the five sets of eyes watching your every move.

‘You went through something pretty rough on the outside didn’t you?’ Jaemin asked, assuming there was something more to your anger than what you had just learnt.

‘Yeah. It wasn’t easy.’ Jeno clarified. You were glad he didn’t go into more detail and even more glad that the boys didn’t ask for more.

You stood up, pulling your gun around to your front and took off.

‘Uhhh, y/n? Where are you going?’ Renjun asked.

‘To the army base.’ You declared. ‘I’m still shutting this thing down. Even if I had to do it alone.’

‘Who the hell said you were going to be doing it alone?’ Jeno’s words caused you to stop and turn around.

‘You’re coming with me?’

Jaemin shrugged, grabbing the pistol that Jeno offered him and beginning to walk towards you, the other boys all following.

‘Well, we started this together. Might as well end it that way to.’

---

The doors to the army base were open when you arrived. The wide gates were oddly unnerving, open gates were normally a symbol of welcoming, but this only reminded you of the gates to hell.

‘Remember, just get to the button and press it. That’s all we need to do so just focus on that.’ Jeno reminded you all. His voice was clear and steady, not a hint of fear in it. It was the voice of a true leader.

You stepped forward, ready to face whatever came at you.

---

You don’t know where it went so wrong.

Only you and Jeno were left alive and unbitten. The rest of you had been picked off one by one. They appeared out of nowhere, moved quickly and silently and were almost impossible to find. You had no idea what had made the zombies so dangerous all of a sudden. They had lost the slow paces of the previous kind, the fast bursts only maintained for a few seconds, and now had the agility of 20 year olds. It was as if they had retained the characteristics of the people they used to be. It was even harder to know that it was you friends picking you off just predators pick off the weakest member of the herd.

The two of you moved silently, aware of the moving shadows that signified the walking ghosts of your friends. You had only seen a few faces yet. You’d seen Chan, Changbin and Jongho as well as Mark and Chenle. It was seeing Mark and Chenle that was the most difficult, and in that minute you understood better than ever before, why Wooyoung couldn’t pull the trigger on Hongjoon. 

A scream came from your left and you turned and blindly fired. You missed and watched as a figure you recognised to be Jaemin’s slunk back down the corridor.

You were only a few minutes away from the button, but at the pace you were moving, it would take you ages. You had to speed up. There was a door up ahead, one that was already open, as if it was awaiting the two of you. It only took one short shared look for the plan to be formed. You counted to three under your breath.

One

Two

Three

You threw yourself forwards, sprinting towards the open door as fast as you could, Jeno doing the same. Jeno reached the doorway before you did, and, as you cleared the distance, he slammed the door shut behind you.

You whirled around as you heard another loud bang on the door and saw Jeno pushing himself up against it to hold it in place. All of a sudden it made perfect sense as to why the door had been open.

It had no hinges.

The zombified bodies of your friends were pushing against it, clawing desperately to try and reach Jeno.

‘y/n, you have to go! Run now and find that button.’ Jeno’s voce was strained, all his energy being used to keep the door in place.

‘No, Jeno you have to go. You know the base better than I do.’ You reasoned.

‘Do you think I can go anywhere right now?’ He asked, pushing back on the door again as it began to budge. ‘Don’t be an idiot y/n, just go! I’ll hold them off for as long as I can.’

So you ran, you turned on your tail and sprinted down the hallway. You were pretty sure that you only had to get down this hallway, one set of stairs and one last door before you were at the button.

You were so close. Surely nothing could stop you now. All the zombies were upstairs, you had a free run.

You had just turned the second last corner of the corridor when you felt two hands grab your arm tightly and teeth quickly sank into the skin.

You let out a scream in pain, the zombie releasing your arm and stepping back from you, its work now done. You spun around and came face to face with the zombie who bit you.

Donghyuck.

Your heart stopped as you looked at the boy you loved. He stared back at you with no recognition, his eyes dull and his skin coloured with a sickening grey tine. You didn’t have time to mourn him. Your only hope was now getting to that button before you turned and forgot who you were. If you turned, all hope was lost and this would all have been for nothing. You knew from the last time you were bitten that you only had a few minutes, probably less if the doctors at the lab had mutated the virus. The pain in your upper arm was excruciating.

You stumbled forward, trying desperately to remember Jeno’s drawing of the army base layout. You turned a corner and came across a set of stairs, taking you down into the basement.

You took the first one, you vision starting to disappear as dark spots danced across the scene in front of you.

You took the fourth one. Focusing only on that button you had to do something with.

You landed at the bottom.

You stood there, not moving, confused beyond belief as to what you were doing. Why were you here? You had no reason to be at this level. You should be upstairs so that you could leave the base soon. 

You turned around, away from the door in front of you. You looked up the stairs and saw Jeno. His eyes a cloudy white colour, and the veins across his arms and neck running black. Your eyes focused on a small black object behind him, however, something that was built into the wall, you had never noticed it before.

A camera.

You swung yourself around so that you were facing towards the door again. You knew what you were doing. You knew who you were. You knew what was behind that door.

You turned the handle, throwing yourself against it when it didn’t open. You banged the door with your shoulder, screaming in frustration when it refused to open.

You took a step back and lifted your foot. You kicked the door with all your force, relief flooding your system when it swung open. However, the momentum of the kick carried you through and you didn’t have the balance to keep yourself upright. You landed on your back, a sickening crack echoing off the walls as your head came in contact with the concrete floor.

You groaned in pain, recognising how your voice was sounding more and more like the undead’s. You summoned every bit of strength that you had and pulled yourself up so that you were on all fours.

You tucked your legs under you and pushed yourself up from the floor.

This was the room that Jeno was talking about. You vaguely registered a tunnel to the left, one that you assumed led out into the forest. And in front of you, only a few steps away, was an almost empty control panel with only one small button on it.

The entire room was spinning and your vision was getting darker by the second. You didn’t know if you had any strength left to continue forwards, holding on to the door to keep yourself upright. You head was pounding, your arm was throbbing and your heart was aching.

Your body was screaming at you with everything it had for you to stop, to give up, to rest. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t give up now. Not when you were so close.

You stepped forwards. You thought of Renjun. The boy who had never left your side since the day he met you. He was fiercely loyal, always prepared to do everything he could to protect the ones he loved. To protect you.

You stepped again. You thought of Jaemin. The boy who had saved your life more times than you cared to admit. He had diligently watched over you, cared for you and loved you when you couldn’t do it yourself. He wouldn’t hesitate to keep going. To rescue you.

You stepped once more, collapsing on the counter in front of you, the button in sight. You thought of Jeno. The boy who had been through exactly what you had and was the only one to know the true pain of it. He had protected you from more than you knew and you knew he would never stop protecting you. To shield you.

You pulled yourself up, the button within your reach. You thought of Donghyuck. The boy who you loved more than anything else in this world. The boy who you would do anything for. He was sunshine personified, always finding any way he could to make you happy and always ready to fight anything that had made you sad. There wasn’t a thing that he would not do for you. He would volunteer to go through hell and back a million times without even thinking about it. To save you.

You threw yourself forwards, the last thing you saw being the button spinning with the room as your vision disappeared completely. You brought your hand down in a final attempt to hit the kill switch, your brain only managing to register one final sound as your legs gave out completely and you blacked out.

Click.

---

The dull pain at the back of your head was the first thing you noticed. You tried opening your eyes, but your eyelids felt so heavy it was impossible. You gave up, trying instead to listen to the movement around you. You managed to register a woman’s voice somewhere in the haze.

You tried again to open your eyes, this time succeeding slightly. This prompted the woman watching over you to call for a nurse. You couldn’t see the nurse through the blurred slit of vision you had, but she had a soothing voice, one that radiated comfort.

‘Don’t overwork yourself y/n. You’ve been through quite an ordeal. Just take your time and you’ll be able to wake up.’

You took a deep breath, relaxing your eyelids so that they were fully shut, and tried again. Finally, you managed to open them all the way. The room gradually came into focus, and you saw that you were lying on your bed in your room at the lab. You saw the nurse next to you and your eyes widened.

‘This place- it’s not safe. It’s not what you think. We need to-’

The nurse put a hand on your shoulder, pushing your body back into the bed.

‘Calm down y/n, it’s okay. We know. A Yang Jeong-In called and explained the situation to us. At first, we were skeptical, but we sent an investigation over anyway. We owe you a great deal y/n. You’ve saved a lot of people.’

She smiled at you as you fell back into the pillows.

‘I didn’t do it alone.’ You insisted. ‘Wait, how long have I been asleep? How long was I in the simulation for.’

The nurse chuckled.

‘Don’t worry sweetheart. You haven’t lost a year of your life. In fact, it’s only just been around 30 hours since you went back in. You saved us in a day.’

‘Wait... it worked? We did it?’ You whispered, not quite believing that it was finally over.

‘You did it y/n. You’re safe now. In fact, your friends are also all awake. When you’re ready, you can come and see them.’

The nurse smile at you as you nodded. You began to sit up, but fell back immediately when the pain in your head flared up again. The nurse grabbed a pill and some water from your bedside table and handed them to you.

‘Here, take this. You took a nasty fall in the simulation and your body is convinced that it has concussion. Now since it didn’t really happen, you don’t, but it may hurt for a short while. This should help.’

You nodded absentmindedly as she spoke, purely obsessed with the thought of seeing your friends again.

You attempted to sit up again, this time with much more ease.

‘Wow, that worked fast.’ You commented, causing a light laugh from the nurse at your side.

She gave you a supporting hand as you climbed out of bed and stood up. You walked shakily over to the door, leaning on the frame slightly for support as the nurse opened it.

You headed outside, amazed by what you were greeted with. There were police, detectives and special investigators all over the scene. Dr Kim was sat in the lobby when you passed, in handcuffs and being read his rights. He looked up as you walked by, and if looks could kill, you would have been a pile of ash on the floor. But they couldn’t. So instead, you paused, held eye contact for a second and smiled before moving on.

You were finished with that.

Your nurse led you to the room that you recognised as the test centre. It was where all your skills had been testing once you left the simulation the first time.

‘The room has been cleared out and turned into a relaxing space. At the moment, we’re just using if for your group. We thought that since you saved all of us you deserved your own area.’

The genuine smile on the nurse’s face made you laugh in happiness. She turned the handle and pushed the door open.

‘I’ll leave you be.’ She whispered from behind, pulling it shut gently as you walked it.

The sight in front of you brought tears to your eyes. Jeno and Jaemin were collapsed next to each other of a sofa, looking at something on a phone in front of them, Chenle and Jisung were attempting to teach Renjun a sort of clapping game, Chan and I.N. were standing in the far corner chatting with Mark and a few others and San and Wooyoung were laughing at something over a box of pizza.

But the best sight of all, was right in front of you.

There, sat on the floor, his little sister curled up in his lap as he peppered little kisses all over her face, was Donghyuck. Alive and happy. He held he close, treasuring the fact that he got to have her back. He laughed at something she said, the sound reaching your heart immediately and you realised just how much you had missed him.

Renjun noticed you first. He had given up on learning whatever game Chenle and Jisung were trying to teach him and turned around, coming face to face with your smiling figure. 

‘Look who it is!’ He announced, easily gaining the attention of the rest of the room. They all turned around to look at you, smiles breaking across all of their faces as they did so. ‘Our saving grace.’

‘Lets hear it for our hero!’ Jeno called out, causing the room to erupt in cheers, screams and claps as you stood there slightly awkwardly. 

You looked at Hyuck again, this time finding him staring right back at you. His sister moved off his lap, allowing him to stand. The entire room was watching as he made his way towards you. He didn’t break stride, instead choosing to pull you in towards him for a hug. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he pressed you against his chest. Your arms moved up by themselves, finding their place behind his neck and holding on for dear life.

The hug got tighter and more desperate the longer it went on, Donghyuck holding onto you as if you slip away if he let go. Little did he know, you weren’t going anywhere. He mumbled out a few words, you only just managing to catch them because of how his face was buried into your neck.

‘I missed you.’

‘I missed you too.’ You whispered back, relieved to finally be back with him.

‘Don’t you guys think that you two are slightly beyond hugging?’ Renjun’s voice interrupted your moment, causing you both to turn and stare at him incredulously. ‘Come on! If this experience has taught us anything, surely it’s that time is precious and we shouldn’t waste it dancing around our feelings.’

As much as you loved Renjun, you had never wanted to hit him more than you did at that moment. You wanted to talk to Hyuck about your feelings but not in front of everyone and, now that the reality of that conversation was dawning on you, you were nervous for it.

Hyuck, on the other hand, seemed to ponder Renjun words before turning back to you.

‘You know, he has a point.’ He mused a cheeky smile on his face.

‘Hmmm?’ You hummed, not sure where he was going with this.

Donghyuck simply took a small breath before pulling you in again. He used his hands, that were still resting on your waist, you pull you in closer, and then moved on up to cup your face as he leaned it. You had about half a second to understand what was happening before his lips were on yours.

Donghyuck kissed you.

Finally, after all these years and struggles, you finally got to kiss the boy you loved. You kissed him back, shyly at first but, as with the hug, the emotions grew. Before you knew it you were pouring all the love you had for the boy into your kiss, praying that he would be able to feel it.

When you finally pulled away you stared into his eyes. You ignored the cheers and shouts of “finally” coming from your friends, only focusing on the boy in front of you. He gently tilted his head forwards, so that his forehead was pressed to yours.

‘I love you.’ He whispered.

‘I love you too.’ You replied, your voice as quiet as his, but your words just as powerful.

---

After a couple of hours, you and Hyuck eventually excused yourself from the rest of your friends, choosing to instead go back to your room and spend some time alone together. Hyuck’s sister had headed back to her room earlier, leaving just the two of you wandering the halls side by side.

‘You know.’ Hyuck grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers with his as he talked. ‘i always knew that, if any of us was gonna save the world, it would be you.’

You blushed.

‘I didn’t save the world... Besides, I don’t know why I’m getting all the credit! Without everyone in that room, we wouldn’t have done it.’

‘I know.’ Hyuck giggled. ‘But you’re still the one who pressed that button. And according to Jeno, you’re the one who figured out the truth as well. Let me just compliment you! I like being able to say that my girlfriend saved the world.’

You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, unable to stop the smile from spreading across your face.

‘Girlfriend?’ You questioned, watching as Hyuck began to get flustered.

‘Uhhh- I mean... we haven’t really had a chance to talk about it yet but... hopefully?’ He questioned, looking shyly at you.

‘Sounds perfect.’ You grinned, squeezing his hand that was in yours.

And for a minute, all was right with the world. Until two words cause Donghyuck to freeze where he was, terror consuming him.

‘You bastard!’ Donghyuck’s father came storming up to the two of you. ‘What gives you the right to act that way? Thinking you can treat me like that? I don’t care if it was in a simulation, you’re going to pay for that.’

Donghyuck’s father lifted up a fist, in an attempt to hit him, but Hyuck was faster. He pushed on the opposite shoulder on his father’s body and stepped back, watching as the momentum of his father’s punch threw his body around in a full circle. Donghyuck pushed you behind him slightly, wanting to protect you.

This action did not go unnoticed by his father, who tilted his head to the side, observing how you gripped his arm and how Donghyuck was shielding you.

‘Ohhhh.’ He realised, a wicked smile taking over his features. ‘So the two of you fell in love.’ The smile dropped off him completely. ‘How sweet. Maybe, if Donghyuck refuses to face the consequences of his actions, someone else could take the punishment for him.’

‘Back off!’ Donghyuck barked, moving you properly behind him. ‘You don’t touch her.’

‘Protective are we?’ His father teased but Hyuck didn’t reply. ‘What would you do to protect her? How far would you go? Would you shout at me? Would you threaten me? Would you hit me?’

His father had been circling Donghyuck all this time, trying to find the right moment to pounce. Only when you arm appeared around Donghyuck’s waist did he make his move. He lashed out with a harsh punch to Donghyuck’s shoulder, causing the boy to fall to the floor, and grabbed you holding you by the wrist with one hand and around the neck with the other.

‘I’ll kill you!’ Donghyuck screamed, losing his mind at the thought of his father hurting yet another person he loved. He stood up, preparing to charge at his father.

‘Take one step closer and I’ll cut off her air supply.’ His dad’s voice was quiet, no more theatrics or teases, just a pure, cold-blooded threat. Then his voice changed again, back into the taunting manner it was previously. ‘Or maybe I’ll just do it now.’ He began to push down slightly, making you swallow out of discomfort. He gradually pushed down more, making it increasingly difficult for you to breathe. ‘Maybe that will finally get you to throw a punch.’

Down the end of the corridor you recognised the police uniform, meaning that Donghyuck’s father had run out of time. You swung your foot underneath you, taking him by surprise and effectively ruining his balance. Hyuck took his chance while his father was out of it and pulled you back into the safety on his arms. He stroked the hair out of your face.

‘Are you okay?’ He asked, concern and guilt prominent on his features.

‘I’m okay.’ You reassured, falling back into his embrace.

‘You bitch!’ Donghyuck’s father roared and he prepared to throw himself at the two of you again. But this time he was met with the police. One officer tackled him immediately, forcing him to the ground as another secured his arms behind his back with a pair of handcuffs around his wrists.

You and Hyuck watched as he was arrested on suspicion of the murder of Donghyuck’s mother and multiple account of domestic, physical and verbal abuse. Just as he was being pulled up he look at Donghyuck one last time.

‘When will you be a man and learn how to throw a punch.’ He spat.

Hyuck stood up calmly, pulling you with him and keeping an arm around you at all times, but he never took his eyes off his father.

‘Being a man isn’t about being able to throw a punch. It’s about what you would take a punch for. I will never throw a punch, because I will never be like you. Goodbye father.’

You watched as Donghyuck’s father was dragged away in handcuffs. Only once he had disappeared around the corner did you turn to Hyuck.

‘I’m proud of you.’ You smiled slightly.

‘Thank you.’ Hyuck whispered, smiling back and placing a kiss on your forehead. ‘I have one favour to ask you though.’

‘Yeah?’ You looked up at him.

‘Can we go to bed? I’m exhausted.’ He said, watching as you burst into laughter at his mundane request.

‘Sure we can.’ You agreed, your body starting to agree with Hyuck.

---

You lay in your bed, your head on Donghyuck’s chest, his arms around you and your legs entwined. You’d been mindlessly chatting for the last few minutes but the conversation had since then drifted off into a comfortable silence.

‘I figured it out you know.’ Donghyuck informed you suddenly, causing you to look up at him from where you were laying.

‘What did you figure out?’ You asked, entertaining his antics.

‘That it wasn’t a real virus and that there were higher powers responsible for it. I figured it out first.’ His slightly smug yet still teasing voice brought a smile to your lips.

‘How did you do that?’ You were genuinely curious as to how he had come to this conclusion.

‘Remember? At the beginning, as soon as the virus broke out, I told you it was government created.’ Now the smugness was really coming through on his voice, showing how he was clearly enjoying this.

‘Go to sleep Hyuck.’ You chuckled.

‘I’m just saying.’ He whined, pulling his arms around you tighter.

You didn’t reply to that one, choosing instead to smile. You nuzzled further into Hyuck’s chest, relishing in the fact that you finally get to be close to him. 

And that’s how you spent your first night of freedom. Curled up next to the boy you loved, with him whispering sweet nothings into your ear, all thoughts and dangers of the simulation far behind you.

Turns out you finally did get your happy ever after.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Iron 2 (Peter Parker x F!Oc)

Words: 1,889

Masterlist:

Chapter 1 // Chapter3

"I hate needles,” The girl complains with a pout as Pepper removes the needle from her arm.

"Tony hates them too,” She turns and they both see Tony making a funny face when he puts a bandage on his arm. Rhodey crosses his arms and shakes his head.

"Very funny," says Tony.

"Why are we doing this?" Lily asks. The three adults look at each other.

"It's just to see if you have any illness, but don't worry,” the girl nods and jumps down from the chair while they continue talking.

"When will that be ready?" Tony complains.

"In a few days," Pepper answers.

Lily decides to walk through Tony's study completely ignoring the adults.

"Tony, have you thought about what you will do if she turns out to be your daughter?" Rhodes asks.

Stark sighs.

"I guess neither of you will want to adopt her,” they both shake their heads. "Surely someone in an orphanage will do it…” He shrugs.

Pepper and Rhodes share a worried look.

“Tony, you have to think better of it. She’s not a puppy you can abandon.”

“Trust me, she’ll be better off with another family than with me. It's pretty obvious that I'm not ready to raise someone, maybe I never will be.”

While they keep trying to convince Tony. Lily looks closely at all the 'toys' in that place. She laughs at the brightly colored cars. She walks up to them, opens the door of a red one, and sits behind the wheel. She pretends to drive it by making noises.

Tony sees her from afar and makes a face.

“Also, watch her. Maybe it's just a trick to take my money, she's already testing the cars.”

Rhodey rolls his eyes.

“She’s just playing, Tony. That's what six-year-olds do.”

At that, the door of the workshop opens and a man in a suit enters panting.

"I'm here, what do you need, boss?”

"You're late,” Tony answers.

“You sent me to do other things, sir. What's the uh-?" He checks his cell phone. "'Problem of catastrophic consequences'?" He quotes.

Before Rhodes and Pepper could complain, Tony points to the car where the girl is, who's watching everything from her seat. Happy Hogan raises his eyebrows.

"Do you want me to take care of your… niece?" he asks, unsure. Tony sighs.

"I want you to take care of her.”

"In what way, sir?”

"Yes, Tony,” challenges Rhodes. "In what way?”

“Okay, enough attacking me. You all know that as a parent I would be the worst option in life. Even Happy would be better,” He points out.

"Father? Is this his daughter?”

“Do you really want me to take care of someone? I can't even take care of myself!”

"That's ... true," says Pepper. "But this is different.”

"In what way?" Tony shakes his head. "Anyway, she’ll be here for a few days, but if it turns out not mine, she’ll leave. If the test is positive,” He looks back at the girl and sighs. "I'll solve it.”

***

"And what is this called?" asks Happy from the couch.

“Bear," replies Lily, watching the teddy bear on his hands.

"Makes sense to me," the man agrees.

"She's not very smart," Tony whispers, taking his beer.

“Sir, remember that your flight is at 4:00 a.m. to go to Vegas,” says Pepper entering the room.

Tony closes his eyes. He had completely forgotten about the trip to the awards for… something.

"I'll take care of Lily until you come back,” informs the redhead.

“You'll leave?" asks the girl. "When are you coming back?”

“Never.”

"He'll only be gone one day, honey," Pepper fixes. "Maybe at night he’ll already be here.”

Lily nods and goes back to Happy to show him more toys.

"Okay, we’re going. I have to leave early too,” says Rhodes. He walks to Lily and smiles at her. "See you later, smarty,” He raises his palm and the girl responds by high-fiving.

"Bye, Rhodey,” Tony groans.

Pepper and Rhodes leave the Stark house hoping that everything can be resolved soon.

"Whose letter is this, Lily?" asks Happy pulling out an envelope. The girl looks at it and quickly snatches it away. This gets Tony's attention.

"It's for my dad.”

Hogan sees his boss.

"And why don't you give it to him?”

“I still don't know who he is. The test is not ready,” She says it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Have you been listening to everything, girl?" Tony says.

“You were yelling, how could I not listen? And I'm not stupid. I know what a paternity test is.”

"Why? Has your mom already done many?”

“Yes.”

"So I'm not the first fool?”

“They weren't for me. And if you think that a girl like me can cheat you then you are a fool.”

They both glare at each other. Happy looks at them, uncomfortable. He clears her throat.

"And what is your favorite color?”

“Red," replies Lily without taking her eyes off Tony.

Stark snorts.

"Whatever. I'll go to sleep,” He goes to his room.

"Uh, I have to go too, little one," says Happy. “But we'll see you soon. Tomorrow I'll take you to Pepper's apartment…”

“Happy?"

“Yes?"

“I have nowhere else to go,” she says with a pout, “if Tony’s not my dad. I can't go home. My mom is no longer there.”

He crouches down to her level.

"Easy, everything will be fine. We won’t leave you alone.”

"You promise?”

"I promise.”

***

"I know it's not as big as Tony's, but it's something," says Pepper, letting her pass.

"I like it. Has a lot of light,” The girls smiles.

Meanwhile Tony completely forgets the awards where he was invited, playing in the casinos. The two girls are having fun in Pepper's apartment.

They play, they talk, Pepper asks the girl questions about her mother and she answers honestly, but the woman knows that she is still hiding several things, perhaps out of fear. She doesn't pressure her. Lily also asks questions and is happy to note that Pepper doesn't get upset or yell at her for talking so much.

At that moment, Lily learns who Tony Stark really is. A famous businessman who makes weapons for the army. He is smart and went to a major university. She also found out about his parents and how he managed to move on. Lily cannot deny that this is all very difficult and she now understands why Tony is moody.

The little girl had her fair share of hard life. Lily tells the redhead a bit about how her mom was hardly home and how she got hurt so easily.

But the real concern came at night, when Lily screamed in her sleep. Her screams sounded throughout the apartment, Pepper saw her suffering on the bed, asking for help. And when she managed to wake her, the only thing she could do for her was comfort her sobs until she could sleep again.

She doesn't know what Lily suffered, but that's over. She promises to do something about it.

The calm day does not last long. The nightmares struck and now they must return to Tony's house.

The next day, Pepper receives a call from Tony to take care of a new conquest that he had just brought to Malibu.

They both return to the big house. Lily runs into the living room, takes off her backpack and takes out the notebook that Pepper gave her to draw.

Before she could finish the first drawing, a blonde woman dressed in barely an ink-colored shirt arrives and begins to browse the place without knowing that she is there.

Lily frowns and stands up.

"Who you are?" The woman screams in fright and turns to see her.

"Who are you?”

"I asked first.”

The blonde sighs, buttons her shirt, trying to cover herself more, without success.

“My name is Christine Everhart. I work for Vanity Fair magazine.”

"And what are you doing here if you work in a magazine?”

The blonde opens her mouth not knowing what to say.

"You haven't told me who you are yet,” she replies.

“I'm Lily. And I don't work in a magazine,” She smiles.

She remembers the instructions Pepper told her yesterday. No one can know that she’s the possible daughter of Tony Stark. She should hide from others, but if someone asked, she had to come up with an excuse.

"And what is a girl doing at Tony Stark's mansion?”

“I’m his friend and sometimes I can come. Are you going to stay longer?" She complains.

“You're friend of his?”

"I see that you already woke up, miss,” says Pepper arriving with freshly cleaned clothes.

As the women talk, Lily decides to leave. She walks through the house until she comes across some stairs to the side of a waterfall decoration. She hears noises of metal colliding. Maybe Tony is downstairs, she thinks.

She goes down the stairs encountering a large glass wall. On the other side she sees Tony working on a car.

She stands on tiptoe to grab the door handle, but it doesn't respond. Lily complains. This did not happen to her when she first arrived.

“You're not authorized to enter this place, miss,” answers J.A.R.V.I.S scaring the little girl. She still doesn't get used to the voice.

“But I want to enter.”

"Lily, wait," says Pepper coming down. She touches a small screen that was not there before. She clicks on some numbers, opens the door, and lets her pass.

The girl looks curiously at the glass wall and makes a mental note to learn the numbers to enter by herself. She looks back at Tony and walks over. She watches what he does with the car without really understanding.

"How does that work?" Lily asks, pointing to a part of the engine. Tony slaps her hand lightly.

"Do not touch anything.”

"I just asked what it's for!” She exclaims.

He gets up ignoring her. The two adults keep talking about important things. But Lily is only interested in the fact that Tony must travel again, but now he has to go further away.

"Do you always travel?”

"If I want to.”

“Aren't you afraid to go on a plane? Don't you miss your home? Aren't you afraid of never coming back? Doesn't it bother you to sleep in another bed than yours?”

"The only thing that bothers me now is you,” He points out. Lily frowns.

"Sir, you must go," interrupts Pepper.

“Do you really want to get rid of me? You have plans?" Tony asks her. Both are very close. Lily looks at them confused.

"Actually, yes. I have plans for my birthday.”

"It's your birthday?" Tony asks, but a squeal interrupts them.

"It's your birthday!?" Lily asks surprised. Pepper laughs in agreement. "Why didn't you say anything!?”

"Easy, honey…”

"I can’t stay calm. I must give you a gift!” Her mind thinks of a good gift in a short time. “Do you like drawings?”

“Yes.”

"Well, I'm not late,” she says, nodding.

She runs to the door, grabs the handle, but it won't budge… again.

"Quick, give me the password, I have things to do!”

"I still don't understand the charm of children," says Tony.

"You'll see, sir," says Pepper laughing.

Taglist: 

If your username is crossed out it's because Tumblr didn't let me tag you, sorry. If you want to be removed from the taglist, you can tell us, we also make mistakes, lol

@stardusthigh   @sarcasticallywitty15​ @silenthappyplace​ @yourbonesareinmybody​  @aylauwuuniverse @tyb1​ @skittles-skittles​ @hufflepuffzutara​ @poetryislife0715 

[acid-hydrangea]

“I”

There was a boy named Sig, who had many, many questions.

*Note: Sig uses he and they pronouns in this work interchangeably.

Sig awoke to the gentle, blue hues of his room flooding his vision. The quiet morning air tinged with the sounds of birdsong and the beaming of harsh sunlight. It was 5:32 AM. The Fever Bird month had just begun.

They hoisted themself out of bed and opened the window, breathing in the crisp morning air soaking in his surroundings, he’d neglected the rough, coarse sensation on--in--through? his shoulder... He moved to the other end of his room, and upon checking the mirror they discovered that the ‘totally not worrisome’ crimson growths had spread further, practically covering his whole left shoulder, almost touching his neck. The natural ringing in his ears felt louder than usual. He stared for a moment at his reflection, his thoughts clouding his mind like an intense thunderstorm. Eventually, he broke eye contact with his reflection and got dressed for the day. 

He donned his typical shirt with the rest of his usual clothes, he went on his way, considering wearing their turtleneck sweater more often, despite the spring-summer heat.

--

    Sig’s gaze was transfixed on the clouds moving across the clear sky, like a herd of lazy sheep. Their thoughts drifted in all sorts of directions, but he wasn’t able to attach any words to anything he felt... Not even one, this time. He looked down at his desk, Accord’s voice and the sound of chalk against the blackboard fading into white noise as they scratched one of his left claws upon the desk’s surface. 

...What… was happening to him? Why didn’t anyone ever bother to tell him? He’s not a little kid, he could handle whatever they told him. Did he do something that scared everyone? Ever since he transferred to this class, his arm and eye suddenly changed. People gave him weird stares, and tried to avoid him. When his caretaker Akuma found out, he tried every single spell and magic seal he could, to reverse the process. None of it worked. Every now and then, he tried again, rinse and repeat every so often. Fast-forward to the 'incident' nobody wants to talk about, involving bookworm. Fast-forward again to that blonde witch's potion... Ever since that, no... Even before that, he swore he was--

    His thoughts were disrupted by the sound of the school bell signalling the end to another day.

“... And that wraps up our lessons for the day! Be sure to review your notes, and do your homework, everyone. I will be here for the next hour if you need help.” 

He just sat there, trying to think through his memories, to make sense of it. Most students dispersed, the sound of students’ papers rustling and bags being picked up off the floor slowly replaced the white noise in his head. Klug and Raffina probably left separately, Amitie rushed to Accord’s side for help with the homework, and Lidelle was off to do her observations on the moonsunflower this week. 

Sig remained in his seat, having wordless conversations with his little bug friends, instead. Asking them about their days, as he always did, mostly oblivious to the events of his own. He’d have been last to leave if Amitie and Lidelle weren’t there. He did things at his own pace typically, leaving whenever his bug friend did.

...Today was different, though. Something felt different. A gnawing feeling that used to feel trivial had grown over time. The deformations from his left arm had been spreading constantly, no amount of Akuma’s rites, treatments, or spells slowed it down. It’d been a year since that incident happened, and a few months later, something else... Two incidents, and no answers. All he had were questions that were shunned away with words like “It’s nothing for you to worry about,” or “We’ll take care of it, so don’t ask too many questions.” All he could do was believe them, because they had his best interest in mind, right...?

Akuma never provided actual answers when asked, only empty words of... What felt like false reassurance,“Don’t worry your young head about it”, while chanting mysterious incantations with paper, “We’ll heal you someday”, casting archaic-sounding spells, handing him multiple charms,

“Don’t think about what scares you, only think happy thoughts, kuma.”

Scary? Was something wrong with him in the first place? Something that felt like a part of him, ingrained in him since birth, treated as a curse and a disease once his hand and eye turned that shade of crimson? It got him in trouble so many times, in ways he had no control, something he was forced to be at the center of. Fate was drawing chaos towards him, like a violent vortex. Was he never supposed to think about ‘himself’ ever again? What could he even do about the world revolving so sporadically around him? 

The ladybug flew away, right out the window, to greener pastures.

--

    Eventually, Amitie left the classroom. She waved goodbye to Sig, seemingly getting the sense that he wasn’t in the mood to walk home together that day. She flashed him a worried smile, and then disappeared out the door. 

He wasn't feeling up to talking to his teacher in the first place, but... The nagging feeling wouldn't go away until he did. Sig stood up from the desk and walked over to Ms. Accord’s desk.

"Good afternoon, Sig. Do you need any help with what we learned today?"

"Something... else."

“Oh? What is it, is something troubling you?”

He... Didn't know how to ask, what to ask...? He was prepared to just be told nothing, anyways, but... They really wanted to know. They were feeling... Confusion, anger? Fear, sadness... Any mental script they had in mind was gone. He didn’t realize just how intense his fear of the unknown was.

"I.... Is there something wrong with me? Am I... going to become something bad... Do you know what's... Happening to me ...?"

They didn't realize how scared their expression was, like a deer in headlights.

"Sig...? Dear, are you alright? Did something happen?"

He was trying not to cry when he ended up thinking about everything he was told not to, gripping his arms tightly. Sometimes, it felt harder to breathe, or think... Was it just him, or something else? His vision grew blurry from held-back tears...

--

Sitting in a chair Ms. Accord pulled up, he didn't have it in him to look her in the eye. Everything was silent for some time...

"I'm... scared. You, Akuma, everyone... You all know things about me..."

He tried to make eye contact with her, if barely, only able to meet eyes with her puppet.

"Why don't you want me to know? Do I need to be fixed...? Is something bad going to happen with me...? To people around me? I've always... been like this... So I don't know. Everyone acts like it's forbidden stuff..." 

Digging his fingers into his arm, he was shaking...

"I don't want to live like this. Knowing nothing about myself... It's so scary. No one likes scary people. No one wants to be around someone who hurts people. It makes me feel like I'm going to ruin everything, someday..."

"... I told you, you all shouldn't keep secrets from him, nya. Lookit what it did to the poor kid...", Popoi whispered to her. What could she say? The cat was right...

"Sig... I'm sorry, I truly am. It was never my intention to cause you such anxiety... Please, try to look at me..."

"I... can't..." 

"Please know, then... You're not in any danger, and your friends aren't, either. No one's going to get hurt just because you're here... You said you've always been like this, right?"

Sig nodded, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

"You've always been a prized pupil and friend to many, Sig... That won't change just because of your arm or eye... Those make you who you are, and you're a wonderful person."

"... Thanks... teacher..."

Taking some deep breaths, he sighed... He still had more questions. Many more.

"... I want to know... Something else..."

"You have my word that I'll answer to the best of my abilities, from now on."

Having wiped his tears away, putting faith in her words, 

"... What made me like this? Does it have something to do with what happened a year ago...? I know... you know something... You were helping... him... Lemres."

Silence permeated through the room.

"Akuma informed me, when you enrolled, that your sudden changes were nothing to worry about. As far as my knowledge goes, there's nothing abnormal about your condition that would warrant any worry. As for the incident..."

"... Teacher?" 

"I promise I'm being honest, my knowledge of what happened... Is very little. I only know what it is that Lemres told me about those 3... objects."

"Which... is...?"

" Those... The items, they are connected to a certain item of ill omens... I do not know anything more. He kept such details to himself..."

... Did she think he forgot about the bookworm's book? He wasn't clueless, he knew there was something weird about it. Bookworm always makes the effort to tuck it away specifically when he approaches. He almost seemed to prioritize making sure he never even so much as touched it. He got annoyed when others did, and downright terrified when he did. He wasn't fooling anyone, Sig simply didn't pay the thought any mind until now.

Having almost-fully regained his composure, he stood up, 

"Teacher... If that really is all you know... I'm going to find out more, by myself.", making himself clear, he was finally able to project his voice a bit louder.

"... I'm  sorry, that truly is the extent of my knowledge, but... Sometime soon, I could invite him over, and he could tell you what he knows...?"

... It was reassuring to see she actually parted with details. All it took was... Crying. Stressful. He just wanted to get out. He especially wanted nothing to do with that candy weirdo.

"I...don’t want that. See you next week, teach."

With that, he left. 

Tomorrow, it would be time to visit the bookworm Klug, instead.

Ms. Accord, too, had her own plans for the weekend.

--

End Notes: surprise surprise i’m gonna be uploading fics up here from now on. this fic’s been in the works for awhile and it still is- but i’m really excited to show everyone it! if it’s possible, i’d like to affix art to every single chapter going forward. thank you for reading, and feel free to let me know what you think via. replies or asks. reblogs and likes are especially helpful for getting the word out! catch me on my main blog at @marxsoul, or my twitter at @marxsoui, and see you when the next chapter’s out~

[chiefdirector]

Five minutes - Kol Mikaelson - The Originals

Warnings: illness, death, violence

Masterlist

Requests are open :)

~-~-

(Y/N) held her breath, smiling at her husband, Kol, as he left the abattoir in the hunt for Marcel Gerard. As soon as he left though, her smile dropped as she began coughing up blood into the tissue she had tucked under her leg away from anyone's eyesight.

She had been hiding her illness for months as she knew her family, the Mikaelson’s, would be overly concerned as vampires don’t get ill. It was against the genetic make-up of the creatures of the night to get ill.

At first it started off as a headache but (Y/N) put it down to a hangover even though she knew she only had a beer the night before. It wasn’t long before the nausea and fatigue sent in. However, (Y/N) is over 500 years old, she knew when to hide her weaknesses in aid of others. But hiding things can’t last forever, (Y/N) was about to find that out the hard way.

Rebekah stormed through her home shouting any name of her family she could think of when she saw (Y/N) and called her, drawing her attention from the tissue to her sister-in-law.

“Rebekah, what can I do you for,” (Y/N) said from the sofa, ticking the tissue in between the cushions before Rebekah could see.

“Have you seen the crossbow from the dining room. Nik asked me to bring it to him.” (Y/N) shook her head and gestures for Rebekah to sit down so she could calm her slightly as she was quite agitated. “I suppose I could drop for a minute. Move over.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Rebekah sat down quite heavily with agitation, before shuffling the blanket she was sitting on from underneath her. Her hand drew something else up though; the tissues (Y/N) has been hiding. “What’s this?”

The younger vampire moved to snatch them back from her sister but broke down in a coughing fit from the sudden movement. It took a moment for her to re-catch her breath but she knew that her secret had been exposed.

“Are you coughing up blood? Because that's not good, you're a vampire. This doesn't happen.” Rebekah fretted, standing up again as she knew that she couldn't stay still whilst these thoughts were running through her head.

“Don't make a fuss, Freya doesn’t know what is is, but she is looking and she says there is a chance I’ll survive.”

“A chance? Only a chance!” Rebekah said, her voice suddenly softing as she realised her best friend and sister could die. “Does Kol know?”

(Y/N) went to speak but was interrupted by a voice behind her, “Does Kol know what? Talking about me,are you, Darling?”

“Tell him, he needs to know. I’ll tell the others but you need to tell him.”

(Y/N) shuffled on the sofa to make room for her husband to sit next to her comfortably. She gestured for him to sit down, smiling sadly as he did so.

“(Y/N), Darling, You’re scaring me.”

As she started to tell her husband about her struggles with her failing health, all he could do was look down and try to make sense of what he was being told. He was only broken from his daze when he felt a limp body crash into his side.

~-~-

The flames of the hundreds of candles, warmly lit up the abattoir floor as Freya Mikaelson continued to chant. She knew she only had this one chance to save (Y/N)’s life and even this spell had major risks. But she had to try. She had to keep to the promise she had made Niklaus when he found out about this illness their sister suffered with.

The blood pooled under the paper moved towards the ring of salt in the middle of the room. Slowly it was joined by the pool of blood underneath the feather directly opposite where the paper rested. 

Pages of the Original Witch’s grimoire began to flicker as the blood started to rise upwards, combining to make one, and the chanting of Latin grew stronger and louder. 

Until it all stopped.

The room was silent, the blooding falling back towards the floor, and the pages sat still. The candles no longer permitted light and remnants of smoke from where the flames once sat.

~-~-

(Y/N) sat up from where she was lying on the floor to find herself alone. The place she was in was void of colour, furniture and people. The only two things she could see was a key and a door with two locks, one on each side.

Quickly, she grabbed it, inspecting very scratch and dent on the key when she saw words inscribed on the opposite side: one is life, on is death; choose a side and take a breath.

Standing up, with the key still in hand, (Y/N) froze and inspected the white void around her, looking for any other signs of life. She was taken from her inspection when she heard Kol.

(Y/N), Darling. Please. Please come back to me. I can't be without you.

One by one, she heard different voices call out to her asking, no begging, for her to wake up. Each more distant from the last as she tried to aim her focus onto the door and her impending choice.

She didn't even notice the silence until she heard the voice of her local priest start to speak: “Today, we are gathered here to celebrate the life of (Y/N) Mikaelson.”

(Y/N) froze.

Her family thought she was dead? Was she dead? Was this room life final cruel joke on her to make her think she had a chance at happiness before she was sucked into an eternity of torture for her lifetimes of sin.

In her haze, (Y/N) didn't realise that she had placed the key into one of the old locks, and therefore choosing that path. She stood back as the key began to turn itself and the door began to open into a forest.

Hesitantly, she stepped inside, finding herself looking at a mother and young child, only seven years old at most.

“Hello?” she said stepping towards the two” Sorry, I don't mean to bother you, but could you tell me where am I?”

“You're in the bayou, in New Orle-” the woman froze halfway through her sentence when she turned to face the stranger to find it wasn't a stranger at all. “(Y/N)?”

“My God! Hayley, ” she stepped forward to hug the woman she had grown close too. ”Who's this then?”

“It’s Hope.”

(Y/N) shook her head as she stepped backwards in shook. Hope was only two years old when she last saw her. It can't have been five years. It had only been five minutes.”

“Somethings wrong.”

~-~-

After agreeing to tell Hayley what had happened when they returned home, the three Mikaelsons made their way back into New Orleans to the Abbatoir to hopefully find the other members of their clan.

It would be in their luck that they were all present, however, they were arguing like there was no tomorrow.

“Guys!” Hayley shouted as she walked in, temporarily stopping the yelling, “something has happened. It’s (Y/N)!”

Klaus walked forward, trying to intimidate Hayley but she stood her ground, “What about her?” He all but growled.

It had been agreed that nobody would speak her name after the funeral as Kol was still distraught over losing his wife. Nightmares constantly plagued the Original. Not even Freya’s herbal remedies could ease his pain.

“I’m alive!” (Y/N) said in an almost whisper, trying not to frighten anyone with her presence but her efforts were for naught when she saw the expressions of her family.

Kol sped forward, grabbing the woman who looked like his wife and sounded like his wife by the throat before slamming her into a wall, “Who are you?!”

“Ireland, 1498.” She croaked out.” You promised that you would kill anyone-”

Suddenly she was dropped and pulled into a bone crushing hug. Kol holding her tightly and never wanting to let her go again.

The murmurs of her family grew stronger behind her until Hayley spoke up, telling everyone to leave the married couple alone to reconnect once more.

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Berry Blast

Berry Blast Fandom: My Hero Academia Pairing: TodoMomo Summary: TodoMomo Positivity Week Day 3 Prompt Fill: Direct partner piece for my previous day fill [here] but can be read as a stand alone. After agreeing to an anniversary picnic, Momo begins stressing about what she should bring along. She isn’t exactly the most domestic of women, after all. Thankfully, she has a little bit of help of her own to get things sorted out. Standard Disclaimer: If you read and enjoy this, please give it a like/ reblog so I know if I should write more.

When Shoto had first suggested to Momo that they spend their first anniversary having a little picnic together, she’d been delighted. The idea of the two of them settling in for a homemade lunch together was something straight out of one of the shojo mangas Mina and Tooru had gotten her hooked on! And to think that Shoto had insisted on preparing all the food himself? Well, that had her swooning all over again. After all, what could possibly be sweeter than a boyfriend preparing a humble lunch for his girlfriend?

And then the thought struck her; shouldn’t she bring something as well?

Drinks seemed simple enough, so she made a note in the back of her mind to pick some up on her way. That, however, seemed far too simple. And impersonal. She wanted to do something just as sincere and thoughtful as what Shoto was doing for her! Then, her mind jumped over to the idea of sweets. They were the most frequently offered gift when a young lady was interested in a young man. That thought then led her to the conclusion of dessert. Why, she could surely bake something to bring along! A homemade dessert would be a perfect partner to a homemade picnic lunch!

And so, she got to work!... And very quickly hit a few roadblocks.

Her initial thought was to make something like a strawberry shortcake. She remembered that Shoto enjoyed that strawberries were a mix of sweet and tart. He liked sweet things on occasion, but he had expressed that too much tended to give him an upset stomach. She had picked up the ingredients but then read another article online that expressed that the one-year mark was something that warranted going that extra little bit to make it even more spectacular, that often times this anniversary could make or break a relationship.

So she cast that idea aside and decided to try something different.

Upon looking into things more, she selected macarons, as they could be various flavors and colors, meaning she could customize them as she wanted. She encountered trouble with separating the egg whites and then with consistency issues. She scrapped that and then moved on to making chocolate souffles. She tried two separate batches but couldn’t get them to rise properly, regardless of what she tried. Momo changed gears at that point and decided to pick a treat that was a testament to her partner; baked Alaska! She had figured that he could be able to safely set the treat on fire once they were actually ready for it. However, when she tried to bake in the ice cream, it completely melted. And that wasn’t even covering the problems she encountered trying to prepare the meringue for the dish!

So, then she decided to try a lemon meringue pie instead. That, she reasoned, would also be a bit more Shoto’s style, as it was a better blend of sweetness and tartness. She had heard that pies could be incredibly tricky to an untrained hand, but she wasn’t worried. After all, it couldn’t be half as hard as fighting villains or training under Aizawa-Sensei! She had done those things with the greatest of ease so she could rise to this occasion!

Or so she’d thought when she started. Instead, she ended up hunched over the counter, on the verge of frustrated tears, unable to miss the whispers of the kitchen staff just outside the kitchen proper.

“Should we be concerned?”

“That’s, what, the fourth attempt she’s made?”

“Well, at least this time she didn’t set anything on fire?”

“No, instead she just managed to under cook it to the point it’s more liquid than anything else. Like, it is as runny and drippy as my son’s nose gets when he’s got a cold,”

“Oh, hush! The young miss is trying her best!”

She squeezed her eyes shut tighter, taking a deep breath to calm herself and try to block out the commentary. Yes, she didn’t have a lot of experience with baking, but it couldn’t be that hard! Sato-Kun at school baked all the time and never had nearly as much trouble as all this! He made treats like these for their peers all the time! That was many more people than she was aiming for! So… Why? Why couldn’t she get this right?

She jumped when there was a gentle hand patting at her head, followed by a familiar voice asking, “Now, what’s all this, Momochi?”

Momo pushed herself up and looked at the older man beside her in shock. “Father… I thought you and Mother were going to be away for four days,” she said in lieu of a proper greeting.

He chuckled, shifting to lean more heavily on the cane in his other hand. “Ah, well, you know how your mother can be. She tends to push projects along to a more streamlined process,” he said before reaching out and brushing a thumb under her eye to wipe away the tears threatening to spill. “Now, what’s got you so distressed?”

She felt heat creep up along her cheeks. “I-I was… Well, uh, you see-!”

“Honestly, Momo,” Another voice chimed in, “what is all of this fuss about? And this mess! If you wanted to have some kind of exotic snack you should have asked one of the chefs. We hired them for a reason.”

Momo averted her gaze to her hands, fingers fiddling with the edge of the messy apron she was adorning. Of course Mother had opinions about this. “I was… Trying to prepare something on my own,” she mumbled.

“What for?” she asked with a raised brow.

“My boyfriend and I are having our one year anniversary tomorrow,” she explained, her fidgeting getting worse as she spoke, “So I wanted to make something myself to share with him.”

Mother’s face screwed up in confusion, her head tilting slightly. “Boyfriend?” 

“Yes, dear! Shoto-Kun, remember?” Father said, already moving to and fro in the kitchen as best as he could with the cane. He was rummaging through one of the pantries in search of something but perked back up as he closed the door. “Well, I suppose you wouldn’t. We only know of him from Momochi’s stories and the sports festival footage. We really should work to fix that. If you two are committed enough to be together for a year, it only makes sense we have a dinner at some point to meet him properly.” He nodded to himself at that before opening another drawer and plucking out the matryoshka doll-inspired measuring cups he’d bought shortly after Momo’s Quirk had manifested.

Back then, before Father fell ill, Momo remembered spending afternoons in the kitchen with him while he prepared all manner of snacks for her to choose from. Those measuring cups had been selected specifically to be used for her treats and her treats alone.

“Ah, that’s right… Endeavor-Sama’s boy,” Mother said, clearly remembering at least one conversation they’d had about it before. She then scowled as she watched Father continued rummaging through the cabinets and drawers. “Umeo… What are you doing? You are supposed to be resting.”

“And I’ll rest after helping Momo with this, Mikan,” he said with a small smile as he set the measuring cups down on the counter in front of Momo. He turned to face her with a bright smile on his face. “Our daughter will only get to celebrate her first year anniversary with her boyfriend once, you know.”

Some of the harshness in Mother’s expression dwindled at that, some of her sharper edges dulling. Father always seemed to have a way about drawing that expression from her. “... Very well. But I am going to have someone here to monitor that you do not overdo it,”

“Of course, of course! Now, let’s see… I know I left the recipe book around here somewhere,” he grumbled, moving to open another drawer. 

Mother shook her head, a small smile turned up on her lips as Father released a satisfied cry and held the book up appraisingly. Her gaze shifted back to her only daughter, maintaining that same delicacy that Father had brought out. “And, Momo?” She nodded tentatively at being addressed. “Congratulations on reaching such a significant milestone in your relationship.” With that, Mother squared her shoulders and walked back out of the kitchen, pausing briefly to nudge one of the eavesdropping chefs in to monitor things.

“Thank you, Mother,” she called after her. When she turned back around, Father had replaced the cook book she’d been using with his own and was flipping pages. “Ah, Father! I’m going to be doing this on my own!”

“Oh, my apologies! I promise I’m not trying to step on your toes or take charge; just getting the section pulled up for you, Momochi,” he said before carefully moving to a chair the assisting chef hurriedly dragged over. Sometimes she was astounded at how a man so ill could still be so spry.

She instead turned her attention to which section in his recipe book he’d opened to, tilting her head slightly. “Hmm? These are… So simple,”

“Simple, yes, but always a crowd pleaser,” he chuckled.

“But… I wanted to do something… bigger, I suppose? These are just… incredibly basic,” she said, unable to mask the disappointment in her tone.

“There’s nothing wrong with something simpler, dear,” he said, motioning her to approach him. When she was close enough, he took her hands and gave a small squeeze, smiling widely up at her. “Love isn’t always about grand, sweeping gestures or flashy gifts. Sometimes, the most significant shows of love are in the simple, in the basics.” There was something in his smile as he glanced from her to the entryway where Mother had left through. The gleam in his eyes was one of pure adoration, she knew, and couldn’t help but feel a small smile turn up on her own lips as he turned back to face her. Of all the things Momo knew in this world, the love between her parents was the most comforting to her. “When you’re young and inexperienced, love always seems like something that’ll solve everything, make every day good. That’s what movies and books and everything else tells you, after all. And… That’s only true to some extent. Sometimes, Momo, love is about comfort and familiarity. After all, when you love someone, you know them as well as yourself. Sometimes the best shows of love are in remembering little things, like how they take their coffee.”

She blinked before squeezing his hands in return gently. “Shoto-Kun likes strawberries, so… I want to make something with those in them,”

“Ah, I think I know something that’ll be perfect for you then. I believe it’s on page 53,”

She did as he said, lighting up at the recipe she found, before scurrying over the the fridge to make sure she had all the necessary ingredients to get started.

……………………………………………………………..

Momo let out a small, contented sigh as she took a small sip from her lemonade. “Thank you so much for the lovely lunch, Shoto-Kun,” she hummed happily, placing her empty bento in his waiting hands.

“To be honest,” he said, a faint blush to his cheeks as he started putting their things away, “it wasn’t all me. I had help from Fuyumi-Nee and Nezumi-San. I wanted to make sure the food was actually… Well, edible.”

“I’m sure it would have been fine, regardless,” she argued politely.

He flashed her one of his signature dead-pan stares. “You have too much faith in me, Momo,”

She giggled a bit before turning to rummage through her own bag of goodies. “Well, if we’re being honest… Father helped me with the cookies. Or, rather, Father helped me decide what to make and then assured I followed the proper process to make them,” she said as she pulled out the tupperware container and peeled the lead off. She held it towards him, her heart fluttering nervously in her chest. “Here, please try one.”

“Thank you,” he said, taking one and looking it over. She saw how his eyes lit up when he noticed the strawberry chunks sticking out. The recipe wasn’t anything revolutionary - just a simple strawberry shortcake cookie with cream cheese filling - but she hoped that the care she’d taken in their preparation would make up for that. For as much as Father had reassured her about the gesture not needing to be extravagant, she still couldn’t completely quell her nervousness. She watched as he took a bite, eyes widening as he chewed, before tossing the rest of the cookie into his mouth eagerly. “These are delicious. Really delicious.”

“You like them?”

“Very much, yes. The combination of strawberries and cream cheese is just sweet enough,” he said while grabbing to take out two more cookies, taking a bite out of one the second the words left his mouth. He swallowed his bite and smiled at her. “Thank you for preparing these, Momo.”

“My pleasure, Shoto-Kun,” she hummed, plucking a cookie out for herself and resting her head against his shoulder. As she took a bite, she sent a silent thanks to Father for both the recipe and his advice.

[lovelivingmydreams]

Logan Anker: Duties

Logan Chapter 1: an end and a beginning

Logan settles into his new house, his new neighborhood and comes to terms with his new responsibilities.

The house was probably far nicer than someone who’d caused as much damage as he had deserved. But Logan was not about to argue with Thomas on any of those things.

Thomas was Manifestor. He still had to get used to that revelation. Thomas has sworn that he only found out when he looked up the address he was supposed to meet him at to escort him to his new home. And Logan believed him.

“If you want, I can come shopping with you for some new things for him,” his old friend and new boss offered as he put down one of the boxes they had packed from Helena’s place.

“Thank you. I will first unpack and then make a list of necessities,” Logan assured him as he gently lowered the child to the couch. “Thanks again for finalizing the adoption so fast…”

“Well it wasn’t all me and it wasn't that hard. You are his blood. And you are actually her sole benefactor other than the little guy and she willed you to be his guardian unless you’d refuse so she made it really easy.”

Logan nodded, feeling guilty as he thought of how much trust she’d had in him.

“Call me if you need help unpacking. Or do you need me to watch him for a bit while you get everything ready?”

Logan shook his head. He was not ready to let the boy too far from his sight yet.

“That won’t be necessary. I will be in touch,” he stated as he took in a deep breath to force his emotions in line. He would manage.

Thomas sighed and handed him a card. “He’s a friend of mine and a good doctor. If you need to talk,” was all he said before leaving.

Logan looked at the card and then put it in his wallet. He’d call once he was properly settled in. It was only logical to make an inventory of his current mental state considering that the physical side of his power… It was in everyone’s best interest if he had his mental and emotional state under control.

He started to sort through Helena’s things. The house was already mostly furnished for him, considering he’d only had the barest necessities while hiding from the law the past few years. And most of Helena’s furniture was due for replacement. The nicest things she owned belonged to the child. And even those weren't new.

Thomas was too kind. He might have a generous reformation budget, but all this was still much more effort than Logan deserved.

He picked up a framed photograph of Helena and her late husband. The boy’s father.

They would’ve been amazing parents. Logan had fond memories of Caleb…

The boy on the couch stirred and sat up rubbing tiredly at his eyes.

“Momma?” he muttered confused and disoriented. That was the hardest. How to make it clear to a 2 year old that his mother was gone and that this was his home now?

Logan walked over to the couch and sat down next to the boy who looked up to him with a confused frown.

“It’s okay. You are safe. Do you want something to eat?” Logan asked. He didn’t have the strength to try to explain what happened again.

The boy nodded. “Yes please,” he said softly, a little sad. Maybe he did remember being told that his mother was never going to come back. It was possible that he simply had been dreaming and was disoriented by reality. It happened sometimes. Logan would most likely forget she was gone on occasion too. Grief played cruel tricks on your mind like that.

“Very well.”

After their meal Logan sat the child down with a Disney movie and continued unpacking.

Then the doorbell rang. Was Thomas checking up on him already?

Logan looked over at the boy to make sure he was okay before leaving the room. He opened the door to find a young couple with a toddler greeting him.

“Hi!” The woman smiled with a wave. “My name is Celine, this is my husband David and our son Janus,” she introduced herself and her family. Janus was hiding half his face in his mother’s skirt.

“We are your next door neighbors and we thought we’d come and say hi and welcome to the neighborhood.”

Logan nodded. “I see. Thank you very much. I am doctor Logan Anker. I will be teaching biochemistry at the university starting this fall,” he explained as he shook the adults’ hands. He knelt down and addressed Janus. “It is a pleasure to meet you too Janus,” he informed the small boy who just hid away more. He rose again to address the adults, accepting that Janus simply was not comfortable around a stranger and then he felt a figure behind him. He stepped to the side and looked down to find the boy. He was looking at the strangers with curious but wary eyes.

“Oh, and what is your name?” Celine asked kindly bowing down a little.

“Vigi Aner, ma” he mumbled.

“Oh, your son is so polite,” she complemented.

“Nephew actually,” Logan corrected.

“Oh… oh,” Celine looked to her husband, unsure what to do.

“Our apologies, we didn’t mean to assume,” he offered calmly.

“It is quite alright. Your assumption was not without reason. We recently lost his mother.”

Murderer… No those thoughts were not helpful or correct. Yes I am to blame, but there was no ill intent.

“I am his legal guardian.”

The couple nodded. “Well if you ever need a babysit. I design websites and work from home mostly, so I’m always available,” David explained.

“And of course he is always welcome for a playdate,” Celine added. “Right Janus?” she asked as she looked down.

The child didn’t move for a moment but then stepped forward revealing his face. Logan didn’t miss the tensing of the parents shoulders. He could understand why. The left half of the boy’s face and neck were covered in birthmarks. He could imagine this got him a lot of stares in public.

His nephew stepped forward too and when Logan looked down he saw him smile and point at the freckles underneath his eyes. “Sun kisses,” he said and the parents relaxed. Janus smiled too and then was pulled inside. “Stitch,” was the only explanation.

Logan could only assume that he wanted to continue his movie and had decided that the other boy might as well join.

The Bullards turned out to be extremely helpful. They made sure he knew to find his way around the neighborhood and Janus and Virgil kept each other entertained.

So after a month, he trusted them enough to leave him with them for a few hours.

“I will be back soon. I promise,” he told the child who nodded and held onto his blankie and stitch plushie. Gifts from Logan in hopes that they would help soothe the stress of all these unexpected changes. The boy had nightmares and seemed easily spooked. Logan did his best to make him feel safe and cared for. He felt terribly unqualified for the job, but he tried to understand and provide in his needs.

Then the door opened and the nervous boy was pulled inside by an excited Janus. Their youngest neighbor had certainly opened up more during the month they’d been here.

His nephew looked back and waved him goodbye. Logan tried to smile encouragingly and waved back before handing the bag with necessities over to David. “Once more, my gratitude,” he offered.

“I should thank you actually. Janus… It’s terrible but he already knows he is different from other kids. Your boy has come as a blessing, truly.”

Logan felt something tug inside him in a way that felt both pleasant and painful. A bittersweet feeling. He’s Helena’s son alright. “Well, in that case, call us even,” he offered before bidding his goodbyes, ensuring David had his number down and leaving. He had an appointment with the therapist Thomas recommended.

“Why do you think you don’t use his name?”

Logan’s head snapped up. What?

The end of his first session was nearing and he’d had half a mind to call Thomas and ask him what made him think this would be a funny joke.

Picani was eccentric to say the least. All cartoon references and terrible jokes.

And now…

“Virgil. You haven’t called him by his name, though we’ve talked about him more than anything else. Even when talking about your sister, your stated reason to come here, you talk about him. Yet somehow you avoid saying his name. If not for your paper work I would have no clue. Why?”

Logan was about to object, but then he realized that he was right. Ever since first meeting him he hadn’t referred to him by name once, not even in his head. Even now the name…

“I… Don’t know,” he muttered astonished.

“I wouldn’t want to draw conclusions based on this one conversation of course, but is it alright if I suggest some possible explanations?” Logan nodded intrigued. Maybe Thomas hadn’t been playing a prank after all…

“It could be out of fear to grow attached to him. Or maybe you don’t think you deserve to be close to him. Does that sound like I’m in the right direction?”

Logan went over that in his head. It… wasn’t rational. But the feeling of guilt he felt every time he found himself enjoying the boy’s presence in his life even a little… That wasn’t rational either.

Just the night before he’d given him a bath and when he splashed at the water squealing with laughter he had found himself chuckling as well only to have the wind knocked out of him when he realized that Helena would never get to see this again.

“I guess… It’s just… Helena should be doing these things with him. Not me. I’m not fit…”

“Now I hate to interrupt you, but I have to disagree. You have everything you need to be a good father. You are responsible, attentive and have even indicated yourself that Virgil’s needs take priority. That is an excellent foundation to build from.”

Logan nodded. Rationally the doctor made sense.

“That is our time I’m afraid. But I think we can work with this. I’d like you to reflect on your relationship and interactions with Virgil over the coming week, even if you don’t plan on coming back. You’ll be starting at the university tomorrow, right?”

Logan nodded. “First as the new professor, and in the evening I’ll meet the team I’ll be working alongside with as Brainstorm.” It had seemed pointless to hide that part of his situation. And as it turned out, Picani knew of Thomas' secret too. Which was probably why Thomas recommended him. And Logan had to admit, despite his odd behavior the ,man was clever and observant.

“And… I’ll let you know how things go next week,” he assured the doctor who smiled relieved.

“They wore themselves out in the garden,” Celine explained with a fond whisper as she led Logan to the living room where David was sitting on the couch next to the boys who were holding onto each other in their sleep. Logan felt his heart swell with emotion and this time, as an experiment, he didn’t try to push it down. He let himself feel how the little boy on that couch had quickly claimed a place in his heart and was making it his home.

“Hi…” David greeted before gently nudging his nephew awake.

“Look who’s here buddy?” he asked.

The boy… Virgil, blinked blearily before focusing on Logan who’d accepted the supply bag from Celine. Virgil reached for him, grabbing with his arms, clearly asking to be picked up.

Logan chuckled and lifted him up in his arms, allowing himself to feel how glad he was to have him there, safe and sound.

“Hi papa.” That made Logan freeze. Virgil never called him… He called him Lo… Not…

“He heard Janus call me daddy and papa and today he asked what it was. I said it was like a mom but a boy. I guess he decided that means you for him,” David explains as he lifted his own son up in his arms.

“Ah…”

Logan didn’t say anything more after that. He went home and put Virgil in his bed so he could finish his nap there. He watched over him and stroked at his hair.

Funny, what seemed like a monumental task only minutes ago, was now accomplished for him it seemed. Virgil had decided that Logan was a parental figure. He had compared him to Helena and decided he measured up. Logan could not argue with that.

Logan sighed and went downstairs to dig through the last box that was still not unpacked.

It was filled with pictures and memento’s of Helena and Caleb. He looked at a picture of the last birthday Logan had spent with both of them. “I’ll look after him Helena. I’ll be the best father I possibly can be.”

“Papa?” Logan put the picture away and walked up the stairs to see to his son.

@moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @frida0043

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