#... probably kiss girls

[anbaisai]

"(Sigh) We'll continue this another ti- mmf?!"

With a guy like Jamil, you really gotta pick up the slack sometimes. No tie to pull on though, so I guess we'll just have to use that hoodie!

(Inspired by this artwork by オレコ on Pixiv!)

Bonus Jamil for the rest of the day:

[icelogged]

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

you are too big for me to protect

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[prettiestplatypus]

The brainrot was too strong, I had to get it out before it drove me mad while on my hiatus

This is probably the most cursed thing I've drawn (yet)

Enjoy?

[cellularfish]

What if Dick kissed Jason through his helmet as a joke?

At first, Jason joked about how the only time he'd accept familial kiss is when his helmet is on. Dick takes it seriously and kissed Jason as Red Hood.

Jason didn't mind because Dick kissed his helmet, duh. Not his cheek.

Then Dick managed to kiss his cheek for real, it was out of gratefulness or affection or both. Jason was surprised at first but he allowed it, not like Dick is going to kiss him often. Right?

Right?

Oh boy, he was wrong. The kiss on the cheek became more and more frequent until one fateful day, Jason turned his head around as Dick when he's about to kiss him, causing their lips to meet.

They're both equally surprised and embarrassed but eventually agreed it doesn't mean anything, it's just an innocent kiss.

And then they keep kissing, kissing turned into make out session, make out turned into touching, touching turned into sleeping together for real.

Do you see my vision? Do you see how equally funny, angsty, awkward yet hot it sounds?

[babychosen]

angela do you even know what you're doing to the gays

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

not to be weird but this is actually the girl of my dreams

[fandomcringebucket]

I'm like halfway through X-2 so updates:

Scogan shippers were and are the real ones, they're fighting over a girl but they're aggressively eye-fucking each other be SO serious. Like. "your bike needs gas" "then fill er up"????? they're both bisexual but they call each other faggots (out of hatred) WHILE they have gay sex, be so fr

[halfbaked00q]

I have no clue if this is an underserved niche for realsies or just to me, but.

need more fics of James Bond breaking into Q's flat. but not just for, like, to force Q to stitch him up or to proposition him or whatever. But just to hang out lol. Like full on, "new stray cat that showed up one day and I guess I have another cat now?" He is just there to hang out maybe nap and sometimes bother Q's cats and also Q himself. and also eat his food. But at least he also *brings* food too, and, idk, sometimes he cooks? so I guess that's.... okay...? (<- Q trying to justify this to himself lmao)

Q is suddenly like. I guess I kind of have a roommate now that isn't fully a roommate cuz he doesn't really live here all the time except maybe he might as well do? lowkey I do still picture Bond disappearing at night, like, he doesn't stay the night. at least at first. very much the way a visiting cat/new friendly stray on the block would.

And then one day (night). Q has some emergency to take care of or sth and is working late, but ig it's not so bad that he can't work from home about it. And he stumbles out of his home office to go to his kitchen. and stops dead in his tracks cuz. there is James Bond, conked out on his sofa, one cat on his chest the other like, almost sitting on his head. Q, befuddled,. just goes to his linen closet and gets an extra blanket and covers him properly (and tucks him in) cuz the throw blanket is okay, but like throw blankets tend to be, lowkey on the smaller side, so like. tuck him in and make him comfy

and then Bond becomes more and more of "guess you are *my* cat now?"

and also at some point they get together, too, I guess, lol. But I think somehow they end up in bed together (literally in bed together) first, before it progresses to that point lol

[seasicksilver]

bring back this duo RWBY and my life is yours!!!!!!

[heyimkana]

Reasons to love Sung Jinwoo No. 2: His Tenderness

[no-liner]

i'm a big jackieshauna fan, but i can’t wait to see how the shauna x melissa dynamic unfolds. their relationship feels less like romance and more like mutual exploitation.

shauna, drowning in guilt and grief, now has the chance to regain control, this time, with power over someone. meanwhile, melissa might be playing her own game for survival. she knows exactly how dangerous shauna can be and she uses this an opportunity to protect herself.

their wilderness “situationship” is inherently primal, like prey and hunter, constantly shifting between power and vulnerability. but i think something happens that ultimately breaks their unspoken deal. maybe that’s why, if melissa is the eighth survivor, she’s out for revenge.

[artbyfuji]

crazy way to find out 🤯

[flambo19]

a little robifly follow up to my last post because i can't help myself

[danymst]

assembly distractions

sketch!!