#... is this the year of the bug themed faves for me what-

[cloudsrust]

tfw you realize tomorrow is monday and not sunday just 'cause you opened up LC and was faced with that goddamn headless Ichthys as the abnormality of the day.

[1spy]

1988 | Guns N' Roses - "Patience"

I was riding my bike with a friend back in middle school, and he started singing this song that sounded really cool. The kids now would call it a meme song, where there's just one catchy bit that gets memorized and transmitted instantly to seemingly every kid you know. All I know is we were riding our bikes around and singing this song at the top of our lungs like kids did back then:

Take me down to the paradise city / Where the grass is green and girls are pretty / Oh won't you please take me home

It was so dumb and fun. And I had not, at the time, even seen the video for "Paradise City." In fact, the first video I remember seeing from Guns N' Roses was their mega-popular acoustic ballad "Patience."

It's not the most representative song in their catalog. GNR's debut album, Appetite for Destruction, had come out in 1987 and was full of heavy, uncompromisingly sleazy hard rock bangers that made other LA hair metal bands sound tame and fake in comparison. The album painted a portrait of a Hollywood underworld where sex and drugs are traded for access and opportunity, but where the American dream is most likely to end in an overdose. All of which seemed pretty far away from my life in suburban Spring, Texas.

But Patience was a perfect entry point for me, a kid whose favorite band was—at the time—the Eagles. The gentle acoustic ballad opens with Axl whistling, which may have been a savvy bid for pop relevance only one year after Bobby McFerrin's huge #1 hit "Don't Worry Be Happy" also included prominent whistling. Patience got all the way to number four.

I wasn't the only one connecting GNR to the Eagles. Hotel California and Appetite for Destruction have similar themes involving sex, excess, and corruption in a drug-soaked Hollywood. Axl had performed backing vocals on Don Henley's album, End of the Innocence. And Henley played drums and sang backup when Guns N' Roses played "Patience" on the 1989 American Music Awards.

It took two years for it to happen, but the singles for "Welcome to the Jungle," "Paradise City," "Sweet Child O' Mine" and "Patience" eventually made the band ubiquitous. And Axl was constantly in the news for being a terrible human: starting shows late, nearly starting riots at his own shows, saying racist, misogynistic, and homophobic shit, and otherwise being a huge asshole.

At the time none of that mattered to me. What mattered was the way I felt when I pressed play on the CD. It was exhilarating every every single time. It still is. Appetite for Destruction is the best selling debut album of all time because it has no skips. It's an incredible hard rock album front to back, full of songs that are musical, surprising, funny, sophisticated, angry, and—more than anything else—convincing. It was hard to listen to Appetite and then put on Warrant, Poison or Motley Crue. Nirvana killed all those bands, but GNR put them on notice.

"Patience" wasn't on Appetite. It was on a follow-up collection of two EPs called GN'R Lies. The GNR half was old live performances from 1986 ("Move to the City" was my fave). The "Lies" half was a set of four acoustic originals whose popularity may have inspired MTV Unplugged:

"Patience"- the second song I ever learned to play on guitar all the way through.

"Used to Love Her" - A jokey song about killing your girlfriend and burying her in the back yard.

"You're Crazy" - Better, bluesier, and somehow darker than the version on Appetite.

"One in a Million" - The song whose lyrics included racist, anti-immigrant, and homophobic slurs, but also functioned as an Axl Rose origin story.

Even when I was a kid listening, the lyrics to "One in a Million" bugged me because Axl's lyrics on the song weren't just hateful, they were the worst lyrics he had recorded. It was a missed opportunity, because it's probably the best song on this record. It was his best vocal performance, it had the best solo, and Axl whistles over the opening again with an even better melody. It sucks because he ruined the song with half-assed, bigoted lyrics.

None of this is to provide an apologia for GNR (or for me). They were my favorite band until my senior year of high school. They were the reason my first guitar was a Gibson Les Paul like Slash played. And I dove DEEP into both Use Your Illusion records when they came out (I could write three or four more posts about UYI I & II).

But once Izzy Stradlin' left the band, I knew they were never going to make another record as good as Appetite. The best songs off Use Your Illusion are the Izzy songs. The coolest guy in that band was Izzy. And the best post-Appetite record by anyone in the band is Izzy's solo record with the Ju Ju Hounds.

I went to see Guns N' Roses in 1992 with Soundgarden opening. And I'm glad I did. But Izzy wasn't there, and I felt his absence. Basically, it feels like I left GNR when Izzy did.

But if he ever rejoins the band, I might see them again.

Fave lyrics (for someone who loved walking the tough suburban streets of Cypresswood at night):

I've been walking the streets at night Just trying to get it right It's hard to see with so many around You know I don't like being stuck in the crowd And the streets don't change but maybe the names...

[autistichalsin]

In light of all the bitching about the upcoming patch, I was so happy to hear you’re also not… mad at Larian, I guess? I was wondering if I’m missing something, because for all its bugs, the game is fine the way it is, to me. More than fine, it’s a great game, the first that really means something to me since Dishonored. Idk, I’m literally over here just vibing, glad I’m not alone in that 😌

I noticed there's been a trend in recent years, I think started by those media that truly DID become horribly disappointing as it went on (last season of GOT, for example), and people started just... like

There is a phase most media get where they are the Best Ever, they Can Do No Wrong. And then one day that phase ends, and suddenly, that media Can Do No Right. Everything is a mistake, everything is wrong, everything is an attempt to cater to one group of fans (who are, of course, the wrong group to cater to) and/or an attempt to spite one group of fans. I think that in this day and age, people sometimes don't understand the difference between consuming media critically, I.E., using critical thinking to understand the themes, plot, and characters, and consuming media critically, I.E. criticizing everything the creators say and do.

So instead of looking for simple explanations, I.E., "different trainings and specialties mean that the division of labor at Larian has a team that works on new animations, but that team is not the same team responsible for bug fixes, so getting new animations from the former isn't why the latter hasn't repaired Polearm Master or Shield Bash or Raphael and Mol's scene yet" they instead assume "Larian only cares about Astarion and Halsin* and are catering to their fans again at the expense of literally everything else"

*The idea that Halsin fans are receiving any kind of special treatment is laughable, but that is very much the accusation being made- i want to see their reaction when they open up patch 6 and see that their fave has new kiss animations too tbh. As for the new scenes datamined for Halsin, those are all in response to complaints made by people who HATE Halsin, not complaints by his fans. A platonic confession scene? A version of the post-breaking the curse scene that doesn't involve flirting? The only two that were made for Halsin fans were fixing his post-Drow dialogue and the ability to go with him at the end, and the latter hasn't been fully implemented yet (you can get a flag saying you chose him, but you don't get to tell him and have him respond yet). But I have seriously digressed.

IDK, it just seems like we're in the phase of fandoms where, since the initial joy of discovering what the game has to offer has worn off, people are getting their dopamine from getting angry instead, and that means making a game of who can have the best hot takes, who or what is the most problematic and deserving of shunning, what have the creators done to fuck over us poor fans, etc.

There are many legitimate criticisms to be made against Larian, I want to be clear here- their treatment of Wyll's character has been horrific, and the interactions between Durge and Astarion should have been given for ALL characters. It is appalling that they have let Minthara's romance be bugged to the point that some people can only trigger it by modding the game because the flags are bugged and that they have allowed Halsin's voice lines to be bugged SINCE LAUNCH causing many to think they don't exist. All of these things deserve to be criticized. But ascribing malice to things like having separate work teams on the game, or the pile-on people started over that "we fixed it so a glitch can't cause Gale to leave your party" patch... Yeah.

It's never a good sign when a fandom starts to collectively chase the high that comes from being The Angriest. It doesn't seem to be as prevalent on here as on Twitter, thankfully (ironically, speaking as someone who was on this site since before Superwholock, the most toxic parts of Tumblr moved to Twitter after the porn ban, and now it's mostly rational people on here) but we are rapidly sliding towards the "do you people even like this game or do you like the version of it you created in your head?" phase of fandom that everyone dreads.

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic: December 9

I'm doing my best to get through my massive reading list by the end of the year, so buckle up, fam, you're about to get served a buffet of fic. There's so many tasty morsels here, even Mama Flores has to appreciate this feast.

🪐 = Year of Themed Creation Fics!

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FRANKIE MORALES

Sheer Desire by @the-blind-assassin-12 Okay so imagine you're Frankie's +1 to a Millerboy wedding. And there's dancing and yearning and flirting involved. And the knowledge that after the reception, you're going to have him all to yourself. Now add in black thigh-high nylons. And the desire to see them in his hands. And his desire to have those lacy tops pressed against his ears.... IT'S HOT LIKE FIRE. DID YOU THINK IT WOULD NOT BE. GO GET IT.

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #2: Frankie Morales - Kiss in the Hammock by @something-tofightfor I mean, who doesn't want to be cuddled up in a hammock with Frankie? Who doesn't want those soft curls and soft lips and warm arms all pressed up against you?

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #12: Frankie Morales - Kiss in the Dark / Break Up Kiss by @something-tofightfor A little angst and a lot of love are on display here. Frankie's here to show his responsible and protective side, and while there's plenty of hurt, he does it oh so softly and I'm just glad we are left with hope.

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #14: Frankie Morales - “I miss you” Kiss / Angry Kiss by @something-tofightfor So remember that hope I just mentioned up there? Same pairing here, and the hope pays off. It's not without some real talk, but perhaps that's what makes the love even more deliciously sincere.

The day Frankie both loves and loathes the kitchen counter by @undercoverpena This is such a wonderful domestic Frankie POV piece. The way he wants to be better for reader, to provide more, to keep promises...the way he adores everything about her, including how she loves to bundle up in his clothes... Getting a peek inside a man who is sweet and loving and seeing the motivations there is such a treat. I really got swept up in this one.

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MARCUS PIKE

The Thing About Second Chances by @artemiseamoon 🪐 This is exquisite. The pain of walking away really hurt. But then, when they met again it is so masterfully done...there are all these little impulses of his, wanting to do everything for her that could easily be overbearing except that he's just so damn loveable and it's hard to watch two people who clearly live each other be denied. I'm not sure he can really change all that much, but I am really pulling for them. Sometimes a little time apart can really drive home how much you can miss someone. Beautiful.

The Moon in May - Full Moon by @hopeamarsu Alpha Marcus. and. sitting on lap. purring and. teasing and soft and spreading you open but requiring go slow. is a tasty treat. brain mush. purring chest at my back. yes please.

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JOEL MILLER

Something Wild and Unruly by @ezrasbirdie Okay, remember when I said that there was a fic that was so beautiful it made me want to quit writing? This is it, and I mean that as a high compliment. Like, I finished it and just put my head in my hands and stared out the window with a big smile on my face. It's outlaw!Joel and old west sex worker!reader with a heart of gold and a good attitude about what she does. It's got so so so much feels and yearning and softness and bathing and the ending is beautiful and full of hope...this fic is up all of my alleys and making all of my jams and is my entire life mood. It is my new official Fave Birdie Fic™️ and I need to sing that to the world.

Small Joys: Wheelbug by @keldabe-kriff 🪐 The whole point of Lyr's Small Joys series is just that--joys. So it seems antithetical for Ellie to have found a bug that's big and bitey and for Joel to freak out about and try to bat it away. But the joy part of it comes from reader's reaction--to the wonder at finding a wheelbug in nature where it wasn't expected--and Ellie's, who of course will always find wonder in something new. Simple and beautifully done.

Small Joys: Leaf Pile by @keldabe-kriff 🪐 Yes, the joy here is jumping in a leaf pile, but the joy I got from it was being able to hear Joel and Ellie perfectly in this. I also love the process Ellie gets to have in collecting the leaves and talking to a neighbor. It's really delightful.

The Sun Will Shine Again by @foli-vora I can't imagine dealing with crippling depression during the years after the outbreak, how hard and crippling it would be. And yet, I think I'd be able to manage if Joel was on my side, telling me he'd carry me as long as he could just to make sure I made it through. This is just such a beautiful piece. I want to curl up in it like a blanket.

Tangled Triumphs by @planet-marz1 I think my blood sugar levels hit an all-time high with this one and I ascended into the heavens. Joel learns to do Sarah's hair and it's so sweet and precious and I love them. Please read this. I need other people to share my squeals.

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JACK DANIELS

Cast Iron Sunshine part 1: Think I'll Call You Sunshine and part 2: Daisy by @blueeyesatnight Color me intrigued. We got ourselves a cocky cowboy in the wild west and a female doctor reader with some determination, sass, and willingness to sport a revolver, and I want more of that push and pull I'm sure is coming. The first meeting is just enough tingle to rub my hands together with glee. HE'S SUCH A SHIT. But then comes Daisy and she's here to lay some hearts open...

What Happens in Vegas.., ...Never Really Ends in Vegas, and Forever by @wildemaven A beautiful drabble trio that encompasses the realization that you've accidentally-in-Vegas married Jack, trying to quit him, and being unable to do so. Do yourself a favor, don't think about it too hard, and give into your cowboy.

Remember Me by @toomanystoriessolittletime This twisted my little heart and melted me in so many ways. When Jack is brought back and can't remember his girlfriend? Can I just cry a river? No worries though, the ending's a happy, hopeful one.

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DIETER BRAVO

Thought That I Was Dreaming by @haylzcyon Salty, spicy, and sweet all at once...this may just be my dream Dieter smut. I very much love a "did he really say???" but then the reason for her not asking was perfect. How does Haylz make the very filthiest filth the sweetest sweet?

Sleazy Santa by @morallyinept This what happens when Dieter's not an actor, just a tremendous sleezebag working as a mall Santa (he's respectful to the kids) and you can't stop wanting that scummy D and go bang dirty in the Grotto. There's candy cane action. It's real nasty. And written like a fkn gourmet meal. The sweatier Jett writes this slimeball, the more I want. I don't know how. It's like Christmas magic. Delicious.

Crawling Back to You by @prolix-yuy This fic is a feast and all of my favorite dishes are on the table. Monsterfkn. Demons. Blasphemy. Sexy contracts. Dieter being a menace. And softness????? This is smut and it is hot hot hot, but there's enough here that's sweetness and fondness that it's going straight to my forever faves list. HE RUINS HER SO NICELY. UGH!

Rendezvous in Reno by @theywhowriteandknowthings A Dieter with small-dick insecurities? Please and thank you, this is super cute. I'd love to get called out for describing his junk wrong in my fics and get a personal correction.

It's Never Over by @pennyserenade We don't get enough exes-to-friends fic around here, and this one is really nice. As much as I hope for them to connect again, I respect their love for each other and their need to just let themselves be special to each other. There were moments here that were bittersweet, but I really loved that about it.

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DIN DJARIN

Birfday--Din by @writeforfandoms Listen. Is it so wrong that I want to cook a nice breakyfast to show Din how much he's loved? Is that too much to ask? Thanks, Jen, for something soft and sweet.

Then We'll Find Out Together by @missredherring A lovely little drabble about settling down in a new home with Din, getting used to the slowness and softness and niceness of everything. And when reader can't sleep, the one thing that's familiar--Din himself--is what calms her down. A lovely little drabble that I would like to live in.

Bounty and Hunter by @never--doubt 🪐 A soulmate fic wherein soulmates can't hurt each other. How interesting then that one of you is being hunted...and makes quite a game out of it?

Significant by @softlyspector He's been calling you riduur for months and you still don't know what it means. Once you find out, that's when the fireworks start. I don't know that I've read dialogue for Din and his sweetheart that affected me the way the last two lines of this fic did...... *swoons*

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PERO TOVAR

Watercolor by @iamskyereads I mean, give a sellsword a bath and you may be in for trouble. But not this man. This man just needs a little care, and while he may not say much, he make good on all kindnesses. I would do anything to give this man a bath and have him speak kindly to me.

Date or Inseminate by @sirowsky Now listen. You're gonna have to read the warnings on this, because I for one get really squicked by dub-con mixed with medical malpractice. I didn't read the warnings and it came out of nowhere....but I'm telling you my eyebrows shot up and then I just giggled through the whole thing like WHAT IS HAPPENING. Sometimes fic is just there to be fun and slap you silly. IRL? No please. But this? Go in with the right mood and it's just strangely and shockingly delightful smut.

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JAVI GUTIERREZ

Formula 101: December to Remember Part 2: Take What Comes by @littlemisspascal There's a lot to love about Rae's F1 media fic. Even outside of the easter eggs in the worldbuilding and the lovely way Javi and Oddball's relationship develops, there are the delightful media interludes--emails, texts, instagram posts complete with character comments--that use pictures and dialogue to move the plot along in a unique way. I love how a short text chain not only sets up a later story locale, but illustrates a history and relationship between two characters so fluidly. Every chapter is a delight to see how the media enhances the storyline...a storyline that is moving in a very interesting direction...

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SPECIAL GUEST CORNER

BO KATAN KRYZE

Hiding Away from the Galaxy by @ghostofskywalker 🪐 I love a good reunion story. Here, you're an ex-Jedi who has a past with Bo and come to find her when all the wars are done. I'd agree that it's worth the wait when she takes you in her arms....

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MARC SPECTOR

My Knight in White by @flightlessangelwings 🪐 Jey's been doing a year of protectiveness, and you know I don't mind that AT ALL. I would love nothing more than to have Marc follow me home and protect me. And then, yeah, if he let me follow him home...and into his bedroom....I wouldn't complain..... *swoon*

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[shigayokagayama]

sakurai hato or minegishi :3? my faves

sakurai:

Sexuality Headcanon:

this man is gay

Gender Headcanon:

honestly nothing in specific. cis but in a "never really put much thought into it" kinda way. could he be inclined to question or transition? perhaps, but he is too busy cleaning up the giant comical jar of disgusting orange sauce that spilled all over the floor because a customer insisted they could fit a weeks worth of groceries into one cheap reusable grocery bag and it predictably split open and went everywhere and now the whole store smells like nondescript orange sauce and he has a headache from the smell but the manager will be pissed if he closes the register and moves to one further away so he just has to mop it between customers and the stain remains until they redo the nylon in 30 years.

A ship I have with said character:

koyama. made for each other.

A BROTP I have with said character:

i really like thinking abt post canon 7th division staying friends :] i think they hang out sometimes

A NOTP I have with said character:

none that come to mind? obvious stuff aside i suppose

A random headcanon:

a common theme between all three of these characters is that theyre young enough to fall in the age range where they could have been kidnapped by claw and i choose to believe that's what happened. especially sakurai. this kid screams kidnapped. no one would have looked for him....

General Opinion over said character:

i dont think about the 7th division members all that much just because they all get introduced in my least favorite arc so i dont really have a reason to reread/rewatch unless im doing a full series rewatch, but as a background character enjoyer seeing people have thoughts on them makes me very happy

hatori:

Sexuality Headcanon:

gay asexual seems right for him i think :]

Gender Headcanon:

definitely some flavor of transmasc

A ship I have with said character:

computers. other than that ive seen people ship him with joseph and i see the vision.

A BROTP I have with said character:

similar to above i think he and the rest of the super five are still buddies after everything.

A NOTP I have with said character:

this is a weird question to answer for the more minor/background characters so instead ill say "i used to sorta ship him and minegishi in like a qpp sorta way when i thought they were like the same age but learning minegishi was like 19 and punching the numbers meant that unless they didnt meet until less than a year precanon there's no way to make that not weird so i dropped it". so it goes.

A random headcanon:

ditto to above and also reddit moderator. i know he's a reddit moderator on some tech forum giving the world's most smarmy and least helpful advice

General Opinion over said character:

i like him! i dont think of him too often but im fond of all the super five.

minegishi:

Sexuality Headcanon:

ace aro :]

Gender Headcanon:

transfemme nonbinary <3

A ship I have with said character:

none really. they dont have time for that they have a thankless minimum wage job to work.

A BROTP I have with said character:

super five but also i realized hoshida from the reigen manga is in the age range to have gone to middle school with them before they became a terrorist and the idea of them having been childhood friends who fell out of touch and then him turning on the news to find out the kid who used to make him clover necklaces is wreaking havoc on downtown is REALLY funny

A NOTP I have with said character:

most things honestly at this point. i am so sorry shimamine shippers they took everything from you with the fanbook

A random headcanon:

i feel like post canon theyd become a bug person. like, getting big terrariums with self sustaining ecosystems of invertabrates :]

General Opinion over said character:

i actually like them a lot! i feel like its clear from the answers to these that theyre the one out of these i think about the most frequently lol. i just. how did you join the upper echelon of a terrorist organization at age 16. what happened.

[allieebobo]

hello again!! follow up ask time because u cannot just leave me hanging with the fact u ended up owning the school library copy of one fierce hour damn!!!!!!

anyway my drama teacher lent (gave?) me his personal copy of off centre (another thing i could go for hours on about; really want to read/watch/perform more of haresh sharma's works, i've only watched a bootleg of 'those who can't, teach' on youtube and read, watched (a lot of versions on youtube) and performed off centre) ANYWAY he lent it to me bc i was performing a monolgue from it and it's been lying on my desk for three years. i graduate in one and he may have just. forgotten. it's very awkward now and my friend is in the same predicament with another book he lent her and she at least assured me it wouldn't be THAT bad if i still had it after graduating bc he has another copy lmao

but yeah anyway i found alfian sa'at after my english teacher gave me more recommendations for singaporean poets via poetry.sg!! even before i knew he was queer (and all the other controversy haizz) when i first read his 'autobiography' poem (here if u want: http://www.poetry.sg/alfian-saat-autobiography) and it stuck out so much and was so special, from the way he uses his language to idk his themes? really great stuff

anyway done with another long ask <3 take care!!

Ooh yes please go on about off centre if you'd like, I'd love to know more, had not heard of haresh sharma before and I might just watch one of the YouTube performances! Crazy that it's so well documented on YouTube!

And lmao that teacher sounds like he's definitely giving those books out--spreading the love of good literature! :) what a saint!

Aww your English teacher sounds very awesome as well--and thanks for the rec! :) one of my fave English teachers once shared a poem with me once (very short) about grief but it was about flowers and spring and I guess the point was that life goes on? She told it to us in the context of her brother passing away and it made such an impact on me and I can't for the LIFE of me find it back no matter what search terms I use and it's literally been bugging me for the past 10 years. Thought I'd try my luck with you? Maybe you might know it.

You take care too!

Oh forgot to add--dont you think Alfian Sa'at and the way he writes his poems has a cadence/rhythm to it that sounds like singlish?? I love that so much and I wish I knew more how to use that rhythm in my writing.

[winged-wolf-s-collection-of-arts]

Come and Trick or Treat! Open all year :] tags updated Nov. 28

Intro?

Howdy!!! Pronouns —> she/he/they (no preference)

Wolfy (wolf character I doodle sometimes) is my blog mascot. Unreliable sleep schedule/forgetful/message notifs don’t show up- so if you need me uhhhh keep yelling until I notice? Hdfjhfg..

I love drawing, listening to game playthroughs, and looking at cute animals! Feel free to send an ask about anything.

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Tags!!

Art tag: wolfys art

Cool art by pals: grand showcase of arts

Doc says something: wolf chats

Art months stuff (all of them!! general tag): Just Here To Have Fun

Kiley and co stuff (commonwealth): little wastrels

second fallout au (island, custom location for an rp): badlands crew

Misc fandom tags (unreliably tagged but I will start now): qsmp, good omens, fallout, bg3, whump stuff, starfield, doctor who

important/tagged consistently: psa, boost (urgent news), reblogging for future reference (general tips), promo (friends news), flashing images, bright colors

"You have to reblog!" And similar phrases: rebait

Minor misc tags: drawing tips, writing tips, cooking tips, fave,

Note- these are not tagged reliably: ghouls/zombies, blood, skeletons, suggestive (no explicit things here), bugs and spiders, guns, drug use, smoking, all caps

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Unimportant ramblings v

Time stamp: Jul 15? Heeeeey. Hello. So I did take a break from art till like last week, but uh, the health has been a roller coaster-

I kinda cleaned the whole house compulsively multiple times. I dunno what to say about that. Went from the compulsion to be Always Drawing to Always Doing Chores, so it wasn’t really a break? It felt amazing for a little while, but I am so stressed inside ahagfhkhdf. Anywayssssss.

I realized that promising to do the art requests Later is just me returning to old behavior, like just... keeping it on the line so I /nobody gets a direct answer *when* it will be done. That makes my brain think it’s in the clear while the other artists are worried and unsure what’d happen. Andddd even though I did have the motivation to do animated group projects for a little while, a small thing completely knocked me into dropping everything else.

I know I *could* try to join more projects or do more requests, I’m not in a safe headspace where I wouldn’t be set off, and nobody should risk their project’s deadline for that-

TLDR I’m going to Try and fix things up on my end and stop myself from joining anything (that depends on Every artists effort). Even if I feel alright *now* I know there’s a lot of risk for *later*- just don’t let me in anything big and important even if I ask, please- for at least a year-

—— Timestamp: Slightly Before August

Gonna Try Ink Demonth this year- I’ll limit myself and not do something too detailed again hsdkfjzhk.

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Timestamp: August 17

[cackles evilly] Ink Demonth Ink Demothhhhh- this is the furthest I’ve ever gotten in an art prompt month ever! ...even though I’m technically not on theme (Fallout instead of Batim). Trying to pace myself by alternating between a simple and detailed style. Hrrrh the yeehawgust prompts (cowboy theme!) look so cool but I won’t double up- but I will try to participate in the September AI-less-Whump month. (gore and dark subjects! I’ll tag everything properly of course.)

Also I’ve come to a realization- A dream of mine has been becoming famous for my art/animations, but uh- One, it isn’t realistic, and Two, posts getting like 200 notes freaks me out cfjhxfgh- Well, doing stuff for friends and others is just as cool. Y’all are awesome ^w^

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Timestamp: Aughust ninteen

Wait actually I don’t need a reason to block people. I don’t need to tell you either. It’s been getting a bit too chummy around here (reference)

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Timestamp: September 4

I didn’t finish the art month, but I got to day twenty! That’s pretty good. I’ll finish it up this month. I also gotta work on some ref sheet, finish a birthday gift, andddd clear the askbox.

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Timestamp: September 29

Oeghhhh.... too many ideas, not enough time. So many comic ideas. And I gotta tamp down my love of angst dvhkdfbnsf, make sure it makes sense first!! Decided to keep the aus separate. Normal Game Stuff is happening in the Badlands mainland, uh, I don’t know what ending we’d go with but anyways. ....hm. Maybe there’s no sosu and the factions are not making any progress. But probably’d lean towards Institute ending if I had to choose now.

Hm. Well. Maybe I did not think. Uh well in the other au Kiley’s with the Minutemen, and Nate’s with the BoS, so... well I’m not sure how this is gonna go- I’ll keep drawing memes till I think of something cool.

——

Timestamp: October 24

Well uhhhh. I dropped the October art challenge pretty quick, unfortunately. I’ll continue in December maybe? I said I’d do a few days of Halltober, and I don’t want to go back on what I said.

I keep continuing and dropping the au stuff, but that just proves I can continue a project! Maybe!! Maybe. It’ssss a comedy, so uh I’m not worried about making a Deep Story or anything. It’ll be fiiiiine. Just little slice of life stuff.

I wwwwwill get caught up on requests and gifts-

[marley-manson]

if you feel like it, i would very much like to see the "top 10 episodes marley doesn't care for" list. not episodes you hate, just ones you could take or leave. and not necessarily 10 if you don't want, i'm just really curious.

Ooh yeah this'll be fun, thank you! This is specifically like, episodes where I feel like I dislike them more than most of fandom, rather than known controversial episodes, or bland episodes most of fandom agrees are bland. Cut to spare others my negativity lol.

A Smattering Of Intelligence - I think this is a pretty well-liked episode since it's Flagg's proper introduction, but it's probably my least fave of Flagg's appearances. I find it a little too cartoony, and to me it almost feels like a generic satirical spy story that someone took and inserted into Mash's universe. The vibes feel off.

The Party - lol like Movie Tonight this is another episode that's so beloved I feel kinda bad for not liking it much. There's lots I do like about it (Klinger's mom!) but overall I feel like the off-screen characters are annoyingly softened and made ooc to serve an uplifting, sentimental purpose that I don't really want from Mash anyway lol. Like Margaret's divorced parents getting along for this, or Charles' parents making friends with Radar's family.

And on top of that the vibe is... again, not what I want from Mash. I don't want that sense of uncomplicatedly positive bonding outside the war. Like imo Dear Dad Three's offhand joke where everyone unanimously voted against a reunion, in which the idea of a ten year MASH reunion is inherently laughable, is miles better than this episode in its entirety to me.

Bug Out - some good moments, some great jokes, but the army good vibes are infuriating to me. Potter's "If the U.S. army wants land, we just take it!" in a totally uncritical, ha ha funny context; the end where the US beating back North Korea is played for triumph complete with military remix of the theme... bad stuff.

April Fools - I definitely see the appeal of the squad teaming up together, but unfortunately this episode failed to capitalize on it, and I hate the premise immensely. I'm sure it's intended as a simple "lol the prankers become the prankees!" reversal but Potter enlisting his war buddy to prank the draftees (and Margaret) by making them think they're going to get court martialed and sent to prison for insubordination is just not my idea of fun shennanigans lol, which makes the tone of this very incongruent and awkward. Plus more making fun of Klinger, plus Hawkeye's epic prank finale sucked and we all know he could and would do a lot better than that if he had nothing to lose. It's fun if you totally ignore the lighthearted tone and take it for the mindfuck it is though lol.

Movie Tonight - I mentioned it already but yeah, it feels like the actors rather than the characters and that's not a vibe I enjoy personally, it has its moments but it's kind of awkward and unfun to me overall.

Hey Look Me Over - I've talked about this at greater length before but yeah it's like, I definitely appreciate the sentiment of a story where a not conventionally attractive woman wins a dude over with her personality, but I don't think it accomplished what they were aiming for. To me it made Hawkeye seem like a saint for changing his mind about her after getting yelled at for friendzoning her lol, and I don't think Kellye came across well in it compared to all her much cooler brief appearances. Nice that she tells us she sings and tapdances, but I'll take watching her smoke a cigar over that any day.

Who Knew - boo hiss, I've complained about it before at length. I know a few other people who also dislike it but overall it seems to be taken pretty uncritically in fandom and it shouldn't be, frankly.

As Time Goes By - the whole concept of the capsule is bad, it would've been bad even if Hawkeye filled it with subversive jokes, but then it was taken seriously as a poignant symbol of the army... woof.

The Price - I don't think this is beloved by fandom by any means, but it flies under the radar when by rights it should be hated imo. As perfect as Hawkeye is in this episode, Potter and the war hero's storyline is one of the worst subplots of the show, and I'm not qualifying that with an 'imo.'

Taking The Fifth - I had a hard time coming up with one more lol which just goes to show how good Mash is, but I went with this because I think most fans generally enjoy it and find it fun but I dislike it. I don't hate hate it, but like, Potter and Klinger's subplot is obnoxious, Hawkeye's plot is obnoxious and I hate the pathetic failed womanizer thing, and it's my go-to example of the kind of gay jokes that don't appeal to me nearly as much as the satirical seasons' jokes.

[cousticks]

Fave character and why (overall)

What type of characters do you typically enjoy? (for me i usually like dead characters because of their... idk there's just so much to work w there 😭 like so many things for interpretation/potential)

What got you into bsd

What got you into tumblr

Can you give at least one tip or advice on how to recover from a hyperfixation on something when u need to be productive?

Are you better at writing or drawing?

If you could choose, which would you be better at?

Do you like painting?

Are your friends nice?

Forgive me for the random asks. jus answer the ones you want to ty ❤️

Is it weird if I answer all of them? I think all of these are fun to answer so I'm gonna answer all of them. Tysm!!

Favorite character overall is... really difficult. I like so many different characters for so many reasons across so many different medias. Even choosing a favorite from BSD is wildly difficult. Of all characters ever, one of my favorites is Cal Trask from John Steinbeck's East of Eden (the book, not the movie, even though he is played by James Dean). East of Eden is one of my favorite books ever, and most of the incredible themes in it, all of the cycles it represents, as well as the cycles it finally breaks, are done through Cal. He struggles with being good despite a thematic predisposition to being anything but throughout his portion of the novel doomed-by-the-narrative style, until at the end the resolution is that... he doesn't have to be either, he only really has to be him. I love that book dearly and could talk about its themes for hours (and have!). As far as favorite BSD characters specifically, that's near impossible for me to say, but a rough top-group would include Kyusaku, Kouyou, Dazai but specifically mafia era, Kunikida, and Albatross. I don't have any really good reasoning for those top favorites beyond "hehe, I like them," honestly.

I usually enjoy characters that it takes a while to piece together their motivations. Morally grey. And I mean actually morally grey, not the asshole-that-does-nice-things antihero type. I like characters that make me want to think about them and piece them together and study them like bugs under a magnifying glass until they start to catch on fire. Dudes who suck but have so much potential to be more. Make me have to justify why I enjoy them in front of a board of directors. I love to be able to fill in between the lines.

A former friend group got me into BSD back in 2019 because they were all watching it and I happened to have the time and energy to. The sheer amount of media to consume & intrigue of the characters is what made me stay, though.

This is horribly embarrassing but my first stint on Tumblr ~7 or 8 years ago was sparked by learning that the Onceler fandom existed and being absolutely fascinated by it. It was already dying out by this point, so I wasn't active or anything in it, but I thought the way people interacted across blogs to make these wild stories was so fascinating. Specifically the Truffula Flu zombie arcs. I was a Camp Entre loyalist. A couple years later I accidentally deleted my blog and didn't get active on Tumblr again until a little over a year ago, though, when I wanted to start engaging with the fanbases some media I was fixating on at the time.

If I could figure out the secret for recovering from a hyperfixation in a productive way I would be a much more functional person. Sometimes I'm able to approach things with an "if you can't beat it, join it" mentality, and can come up with ways to connect my current task to whatever I'm fixating on. Here's the secret: you're allowed to be cringe with it. If you need to do the dishes and need to make it a mental competition for "oh boy I need to be less of a disaster than Dazai its fucking on" or "I need to do my math homework so Kunikida will be proud of me" or "gotta do my laundry... I gotta be dressy for my port mafia work attire..." then do it. Who cares. That doesn't work all the time, but it can work sometimes. And when it doesn't? I normally just try to clear my mind entirely by doing something that sucks so much I can't think of anything except how it sucks. For me its cardio. I hate cardio exercise. But if I go on a jog and come back I a) feel a little better and more functional because I went on a stupid exercise for my stupid mental health, b) got some of the excess fixation energy out, and c) that sucked so bad i would literally rather do Anything else i might as well be fucking productive. These are not sure-fire ways but they help me. And my most important one? You can't focus when you're stressed. Trying to force yourself to focus when you're stressed about an assignment and panicking because you can't focus will not help you, it will make the problem worse. It is okay to give yourself some grace, walk away, try to put yourself into a healthier mindset, and come back. That's another reason I like to take walks when I can't focus, even if its just a small one down the hall for a glass of water and then back. Don't force yourself. Never force yourself. You'll feel worse and more frustrated.

I'm much better at writing. I'm horrible at drawing, I just do it anyway for fun because sometimes I need to get my fixation kick out in a visual manner. Writing has always been my strong suit.

If I could choose? I think I'd still pick writing, honestly. I'm sometimes jealous of those that can make gorgeous art, but I'm happy in my world of writing because it has helped me in so many other areas of my life as well. I don't live an artists life, unfortunately, and writing has served me well.

I do like painting! I haven't in a very long time, as I don't have the time or energy much, but I used to sculpt and paint my creations. I'm not saying I was particularly good at either, but I used to, and I enjoyed it.

I didn't always have nice friends. But these days? They are. I wouldn't trade the friends I have now for the world.

[trombone-minivan]

1, 7, 11, 20, 30 for the songs ask please

1. three songs that come up when you put your phone on shuffle

well well, let's see what my liked songs have in store...

Numb Little Bug - Em Beihold (how fitting lol)

Industry Baby - Lil Nas X feat. Jack Harlow (another fave fr)

Rockstar Sea Shanty - Nickelback, The Lottery Winners (preserving the silly)

Anyway yes, a pretty representative trio if i do say so myself.

7. three songs you didn’t expect to like but eventually loved

Roadtrip - Dream, PmBata

yeah yeah a Dream song. "loved" might be a strong word here tbh. It gives me feelings of nostalgia but like, for something I never experienced myself.

Beh - Korben Dallas

When I encountered this one for the first time, I saw it just as a quality track I didn't really understand... then I re-discovered it in my final year of high school and i Understood.

just about any Ghost song

Around 18 months ago, I saw an unknown-to-me band being described as "metal for people who don't like metal" and, in direct response to that, as "scooby doo chase music". I didn't expect to find so many of the band's songs Quite Alright, nor did I expect the band to take 1st place in my spotify wrapped. Both of the aforementioned descriptions were correct btw.

11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrack

So This Is The Famous Suicide Squad - John Murphy

A fairly unremarkable piece of background music, but it made one of my coolest gaming moments ever.

Can't Leave The Night - BADBADNOTGOOD

my guys did NOT have to go that hard in 2014, but they did, and Lockwood and co. got an absolutely banging intro track.

No Big Deal - Brenda Song, Haley Tju, Anna Akana

killer birds and it's no big deal 🪿

riding snails and it's no big deal 🐌

eating flies and it's no big deal 🪰

finally me and it's no big deal 💎

20. three songs that remind you of the person who sends this one

oh that's not hard,

Ghost - Twen- just kidding lol Jesus He Knows Me

ABBA - Dancing Queen

Måneskin - Gossip

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)

Steel City - Kazzer

i'm not the only one who thinks this song slaps incredibly, right?

Tokyo Calling - ATARASHII GAKKO!

their entire aesthetic is chef's kiss. go listen to them.

Die Biene Maja - Emi Flemming SCHLAGERTECHNO Remix - Emi Flemming, Karel Gott

it doesn't get more outta pocket than a techno remix of the most legendary Czech singer ever singing the theme song of a popular Czech children's cartoon in German. and it also slaps. naturally.

Thank you for the ask <3

[raspberry-vinaigrette]

YIPPEE!!!!!! tysm for the tag <3

fave color: yellow! specifically dandelion yellow (it's a more gold-ish shade)!!

how long have you been on tumblr: this blog i just started up last month, but i've been on and off the app since 2019-ish

place you always wanted to travel: i was never the sort of person to travel much but i kinda wanna go to canada. it's close enough to not be a totally different world to what i'm used to but unique enough for me to have fun, i think

fave clothing brand: i do NOT keep track of brands. i do have this one really nice jacket with fishnet sleeves though that i really like. any shirts i can get in my fave color are also awesome

fave singer(s)/band(s): i'm a HUGE will wood fan along with a jhariah fan! theyve been top of my most listened like several years in a row lol. others include the crane wives, the scary jokes, sodikken, and jonathan coulton!

current phone lockscreen: it's some cute bug/nature themed edited image i found

most recent/current hyperfixation: dayshift at freddy's!! my beloved media <3

relationship status: uninterested

dream job: i'm pursuing being an accountant right now but i'm still a little aimless and dabbling in other fields including theatre tech work and teaching kids (both volunteer things)

fave social media besides tumblr: discord! it's the only one i use (i do have insta since a job i had used it for communication but ive never used it for anything besides that)

do you have pets?: yep! a pet tuxedo cat named panther :]

coffee or tea?: coffee easily, but i am a sucker for a cup of matcha tea on rough days

fave ice cream flavor?: chocolate chip cookie dough my beloved <3

@dababiers @m0thwinged @idonotkillwithmygun and anyone else who wants to join in!! i dont remember all my moots easily 😭🫶

random questions<3

ೃ⁀➷ hiii hi here’s just a random question form ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav color

: ̗̀➛ how long have u been on tumblr for

: ̗̀➛ wheres a place u always wanted to travel to

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav clothing brand(s)

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav singer/band(s)

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur current phone lockscreen

: ̗̀➛ most recent/current hyperfixation

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur relationship status

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur dream job

: ̗̀➛ outside of tumblr, fav social app

: ̗̀➛ do u have pets

: ̗̀➛ if u do have pets, what kind/how many

: ̗̀➛ do u prefer tea or coffee

: ̗̀➛ whats ur fav ice cream flavor

: ̗̀➛ tag at least three other tumblr accounts

my tags: @nyoclosmom @stuckysimp @cherikdogfood @xxqueenofdragonsxx @carpentrz

anyone else ofc feel free to fill out :) ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

[renatapatata]

UNUS ANNUS GOODBYE LIVESTREAM HIGHLIGHTS;

(From someone that watched it completely despite completely ruining their sleep schedule as a result,, worth it tho ✌)

They rented and set up an Unus Annus themed room and had a laptop between them to directly check out videos on, as well as a timer on a screen to remind us of their impending doom.

Amy (bless her soul) was the true moderator who from a?? Tech spot above them would speak into her mike like God and direct them to looking at out of context screenshots, memes and fanart from over the past year.

They scrolled through the channel from beginning to end and had the time to watch a dozen of them - particularly like a video from each 'era' ish of the channel, like the first ones or Camp Unus Annus as well as fan/their favorites.

All the editors got shout outs + were probably tasked to make a compilation video of the edits they were individually tasked to do and ended up making just absolute masterpiece tributes 😳

They watched videos such as Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room, DIY Chiropractor, DIY Geriatric Simulator and so on...

Mark had never seen one of their last videos, Ethan Kidnaps Mark, which was the pre 'The Truth of Unus Annus' video and was basically Ethan's version of the Mark's Outside Escape Room from Camp Unus Annus.

DJ Burt Blackarach sent them a cake + bottle of champagne and ☠ y'know Ethan doesn't play with baked goods due to his peanut allergy and Mark cant drink alcohol but they appreciated the sentiment (we all did c'mon it was super sweet)

Mark got the bug watch for Amy that he'd accidentally donated in that early on video with Sean about Donating Toys to Charity!!

They almost killed a video that they found mediocre (but that is actually one of my faves ngl) aka How Much Caffeine Can Kill a Man but at the Last Second they realized that they probs shouldn't get rid of a video beforehand fnfnfn with the reasoning being that it could be someone's birthday video and that it deserved to live till the bitter end (that being of like. 5 extra hours)

There was lots of general shenanigans and ramblings/bits from time to time, with Mark and Ethan being pretty content and ready to say goodbye to the channel.

Oh yeah and then like at 2 hours and a half before it ended Ethan got a live tattoo done of the counted down to 0 timer as Mark failed to be normal around the tattoo artist and 'hAd' to mention the Pee Sauna and Pee Soda to her-

On the subject of tattoos they went through some amazing tattoos that fans had gotten and sent pictures of

Hashtags on Twitter were being flooded, with things such as #Unusannusisoverparty, #WeWereHere, #MarksNewHat - which, yeah Amy got him a top hat and I don't think I've ever seen such pure joy on his face than in that moment.

+++ Amy was wearing an epic suit which was their main aesthetic of half white half black...

Mark reiterates how proud he is of Ethan, of Amy... of the whole team!!! I got emo it was starting to get too real

AND THEN MARK HAD SURPRISE CUSTOM UNUS ANNUS POCKET WATCHES FOR AMY AND ETHAN,,,

So then ya they started getting a bit more speechless/emotional near this bitter end, and at an hour ish left I want to say was when they hit 1 million likes on the stream - and they kept pushing to hit that milestone since if they reached it they would reveal what was inside the coffin...

Plottwist!!! The coffin was empty but they decided to test it out and take turns in it (the material inside was apparently very soft).

So then Ethan gets in the coffin which commences a string of eulogies between em which got me way too emotional and was like a part of the stream that was just Being Brutally Honest With Each Other 2.0.

Mark basically talking about how proud he is of Ethan + how he's excited for his future endeavors and knows that despite the goofy exterior he shows he has such potential and then Eef gets out of the coffin crying which then proceeded to make chat (and me) cry fukcC

Mark gets in the coffin and Ethan talks about how hardworking and no bullshit a person Mark is and how he's learned so much from him and how Mark has never given up on him and his constant presence and support has changed him-

Mark gets out of the coffin crying, they hug it out and ya everyone's crying emotions r healthy gang and damn did we go through a rollercoaster of them...

So I'm weepy and dont necessarily remember exactly what was next, but Amy also got in the coffin which prompted Mark to just go off and give her the most well deserved praise ever since she was the one behind so many of their most creative/cursed ideas and was ghaaa Mark obviously could have talked about her for forever it was super sweet and shes just so deserving of all of that 🥺🥺🥺 gosh we really have her to thank for all the hard work that was put in and resulted in such an amazing payoff...

The last video they watched was The Barrel Song by the way with Schmoyoho, which was weirdly??? Really fitting since it was about saying goodbye and destroying something that you'd become fond of.

Evan then ominously says in response to being offered to get in the cry coffin with like. 5 minutes left on the timer that he totally went in it earlier which was him just politely saying No💖

Oops also forgot to mention but in the last hour they slowly deleted/privated the Instagram, Tumblr, Reddit and Twitter accounts.

And for the ultimate end which wow really came too fast once the numbers dwindled down to 10 minutes left Amy sat in frame in between Mark and Ethan as they clicked the delete channel button and the stream went dead.

[neonscandal]

6 WTF Moments in Anime That Got Me Like 👇🏾

Spooky bitches, rise up. 👻 This month, I'm departing from the usual format to serve up blood and that which is unsettling. If you're looking for something gory and depraved, look no further. Expect a grab bag of the supernatural and/or explorations into the innate wickedness of man. In addition to including slightly longer recommendations than my normal lists, below specifically focuses on titles with a scene(s) that elicits genuine shock for the viewer regardless of whether the overall series was good or not.

Tokyo Ghoul (series)

Filed under: “That first episode tho 👀”

Humans won't always be at the top of the food chain and Tokyo Ghoul takes naive Ken Kaneki and exposes him to the dog-eat-dog world that writhes just below the surface of his everyday life.

The WTF moment? Let's just say, I hope you don't have a fear of bugs.

Sub/Dub | Funimation, Hulu, Crunchyroll

Another (series)

Suppose, at the edge of reason, you suspected that you or your loved ones were damned to die gruesomely because there was someone in your presence who simply refused to move on? When in the proximity of certain death, how far would you go to balance the scales to maintain your hold on life as you know it? Class 9-3 clings desperately to the hope that they'll survive the school year and stave off the Calamity but it doesn't take long for despair to bleed into mass hysteria.

The WTF moment? As tension mounts, all hell literally breaks loose in a crescendo of gore. This show makes the list for that WTF but also because I genuinely recommend it for anyone into horror thrillers. The rise in tension is very reminiscent of that of Battle Royale (another fave).

Sub | Crunchyroll

Akame Ga Kill (series)

Filed under: “I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me.” “Don’t get too attached” and “That first episode tho 👀” and also included on this list.

Perhaps the best instances of horror are those that peel back the veneer of seemingly decent people and reveal how positively insidious they are. Monster themed scary movies never really compelled me as much as supernatural or plain and simple human antagonists because the latter always felt more possible than a werewolf or vampire.

The WTF moment? Akame Ga Kill accomplishes the above, if I recall, in the very first episode.

Sub/Dub | Hulu, HiDive, Crunchyroll

Attack on Titan (series + ovas)

Filed under: “I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me.” “Don’t get too attached” and “That first episode tho 👀”

This is the main departure included on this list despite its long run, also, it's so popular, why include it? BECAUSE, the exposition of this story creates so many WTF moments. One, big human-like monsters eating life-size humans (who can sometimes be monsters).

The WTF moment? How to narrow down? The first episode, the introduction of Zachary's chair (the purpose for its inclusion was never satisfactorily explained except to highlight how twisted people can be), half of season 3 and half of season 4 like - just when you think you have the world figured out, there's another curveball. While most on this list are included for a singular moment within the series that grabbed and held my attention, AOT is a good watch for anyone interested in action, gore, or drama.

Sub/Dub | Netflix, Funimation, Hulu, Crunchyroll

I realize this is from the movie and not the series which is what my blurb below is about so I'm kind of cheating but... *gestures vaguely* aesthetic.✨

Ninja Scroll (series + movie)

In the Ninja Scroll series, Jubei went through it and mans really couldn't catch a break despite his ultimate goal really just being to take a nap. He remains unreasonably calm (and punny) despite his lack of rest and in the face of constant supernatural adversity. The design and body horror illustrated by the opponents he comes across are definitely a part of what makes this series so over the top as is the violence against a certain character which I found unnecessary and drives us to our WTF.

The WTF moment? Episode 7, that's a particularly unsettling way to pass a stone IMO.

Sub/Dub | Prime Video

Elfen Lied (series)

Filed under: “I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me.”

Elfen Lied is definitely one of those series that shocked people at the time for its gratuitous blood and violence if only for the sake of gratuitous blood and violence. When you consider the premise of the plot, I suppose it's not without purpose per se but, I think there were a few things that were just included for the shock value.

The WTF moment? Amidst sprays of bloods and exploding bodies, the biggest WTF is actually not even shown and will linger with you regardless.

Sub/Dub | Prime Video

[lochtayboatsong]

The Jesus Christ Superstar essay absolutely no one asked for.

Last weekend, I watched the pro-shot of the 2012 arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar starring Ben Forster, Tim Minchin, and Melanie C, because it was Easter and it was up on YT for the weekend.  I never managed to do my annual listen-through of Leonard Bernstein’s Mass this year, as is my usual Easter tradition, so I figured “Why not watch/listen to this instead?”  It was my first time seeing and hearing JCS in full, and Y’ALL, it has been living rent-free in my brain ever since.  I have a mighty need to get my thoughts out, so here they are, in chronological order by song.  

1) Prologue: I love the way JCS 2012 makes use of the arena video screen.  The production design and concept clearly took a lot of inspiration from the “Occupy ______” movement, which makes it feel a bit dated now.  But every single production of JCS is a product of its time period, so this is a feature and not a bug.  

2) Heaven On Their Minds: This is a straight-up rock song.  It wouldn’t be out of place on any rock and roll album released between 1970 and 2021, and it boggles my mind that Webber and Rice were both in their early twenties when they wrote it.  Also, the lyric “You’ve begun to matter more than the things you say” hits hard no matter the year.

3) What’s the Buzz: A+ use of the arena screens again, this time bringing in social media to set the tone.  Also, this song establishes right from the outset that Jesus is burnt out and T I R E D by this point in the story.  Seriously, can we just let this man have a nap?

4) Strange Thing Mystifying: Judas publicly calls out Mary and Jesus claps back.  Folx, get you a partner who will defend your honor the way Jesus defends MM in this scene.  Also Jesus loses his shoes and is mostly barefoot for the remainder of the show.

5) Everything’s Alright: Okay, this is one of the songs I have A LOT to say about.  First, it’s important to know that I was a church musician throughout all of my adolescence and into my early adulthood.  The pianist at the services I usually played at was a top-notch jazz pianist, and also my piano teacher for about six years while I as in high school and undergrad.  (Incidentally, I had a HUGE crush on his son, who was/is a jazz saxophonist and clarinetist and also played in the church band, but that’s a story for another day.)  One of the hymns we played a few times a year was called “Sing of the Lord’s Goodness,” which is notable for being in 5/4 time.  Whenever this hymn was on the schedule, it was usually the recessional, or the last song played as the clergy processed out and the congregation got ready to leave, so we were able to have some fun with it.  After a couple verses the piano player and his son would usually morph it into “Take Five,” a famous jazz standard by Dave Brubeck which is also in 5/4 time.  Anyway, the first time I listened to this song in full, it got to Judas’s line “People who are hungry, people who are starving,” and I sat bolt upright and went “HOLY SHIT THIS IS ‘SING OF THE LORD’S GOODNESS/TAKE FIVE.’”  And I was ricocheted back in time to being fourteen and trying to keep up with this father/son duo in a cavernous Catholic church while simultaneously making heart-eyes at the son.  Final note: This is the only song in the musical to feature all three leads (Jesus, Judas, and Mary Magdalene) and is mostly Jesus and MM being soft with each other in between bouts of Jesus and Judas snarling at one another.

6) This Jesus Must Die: I LOVE that all the villains in this production are in tailored suits.  LOVE IT.  Also, Caiaphas and Annas are a comedy duo akin to “the thin guy and the fat guy,” except in this case it’s “the low basso profundo and the high tenor.”  Excellent use of the arena video screen again, this time as CCTV.

7) Hosanna: My background as a church musician strikes back again.  It honestly took me two or three listens to catch it, but then I had another moment of sitting bolt upright and going “HOLY SHIT THIS IS A PSALM.”  Psalms sung in church usually take the form of call-and-response, with a cantor singing the verses and the congregation joining in for the chorus.  If I close my eyes during this song, I have no trouble imagining Jesus as a church cantor singing the verses and then bringing the congregation in for the “Ho-sanna, Hey-sanna” chorus. 

8) Simon Zealotes: This is part “Gloria In Excelsis” and part over-the-top Gospel song.  Honestly it’s not my favorite, but it marks an important mood change in the show.  The end of “Hosanna” is probably Jesus at his happiest in the entire show, and then Simon comes in and sours the mood by trying to tip the triumphant moment into a violent one.  Jesus is not truly happy again from this moment on.

9) Poor Jerusalem: Also not my fave.  It kinda reads like Webber and Rice realized that Jesus didn’t have a solo aria in Act I, so they came up with this.  But it has the distinction of containing the lyric, “To conquer death you only have to die,” which is the biggest overarching theme of the story.

10) Pilate’s Dream: Pontius Pilate might be the most underrated role in this entire show, and I love that this production has him singing this song while being dressed in judge’s robes.  

11) The Temple: The first half of this is one of the campiest numbers in Act I, at least in this production, and it’s awesome.  The second half is one of the saddest, as Jesus tries to heal the sick but finds there are too many of them.  Also the whole scene is almost entirely in 7/8 time, which I think is just cool.

12) I Don’t Know How To Love Him: Mary Magdalene’s big aria, and one of the songs I knew prior to seeing the full-length show.  This production has MM taking off her heavy lipstick and eye makeup onstage, mid-song, which is kind of cool.  Melanie C says in a BTS interview that MM’s makeup is her armor, so this is a Big Symbolic Moment.

13) Damned For All Time: The scene transition into this song is played entirely in pantomime, and I love it.  The solo guitarist gets to be onstage for a bit, A+ use of the video screen again to show Judas on CCTV, etc.  Love it.  And then this song is Judas frantically rationalizing what he’s doing, and what he’s about to do, with Caiphas and Annas just reacting with raised eyebrows and knowing looks.

14) Blood Money: This is where the tone of the show really takes a turn for the dark.  I think this might be one of Tim Minchin’s finest moments as Judas, because his facial expressions and microexpressions throughout this scene speak absolute volumes.  And the offstage chorus quietly singing “Well done Judas” as he picks up the money is a positively chilling way to end Act I.

15) The Last Supper: Act II begins with major “Drink With Me” vibes.  (Except JCS came WAY before Les Miz, so it’s probably more accurate to say that “Drink With Me” has major “The Last Supper” vibes.)  Jesus and Judas have their knock-down, drag-out fight, and it’s honestly heartbreaking, thanks again to Tim Minchin’s facial expressions.  A well-done production of JCS will really convey that Jesus and Judas were once closer than brothers, even though their relationship is at breaking point when Act I begins.

16) Gethsemane: This is Jesus’s major showpiece and one of my faves.  Jesus knows he has less than 24 hours to live, he knows he’s going to suffer, and worst of all, he doesn’t know whether it’s going to be worth it.  It’s an emotional rollercoaster to watch and to perform, and it goes on for ages: something like 6 or 7 minutes.  Fun fact: the famous G5 is not written in the score.  Ian Gillan, who played Jesus on the original concept album, just sang it that way, so most subsequent Jesuses have also done it that way.  Lindsay Ellis has a great supercut of this on YT.  John Legend notably sang the line as written during the 2018 concert.  

17) The Arrest: Judas’s Betrayer’s Kiss is played differently across different productions.  The 2012 version is pretty tame - I’ve seen clips and gifs of other productions, including the 2000 direct-to-video version, where they kiss fully on the mouth and have to be dragged apart by the guards and it is THE MOST TENDER THING.  Then the 7/8 riff from “The Temple” comes back and the 2012 version lets the video screen do its thing again as Jesus is swarmed by reporters.

18) Peter’s Denial: Not much to say about this one, as it’s basically a scene transition.  But it’s a significant moment in the Passion story, so I’m glad they included it.

19) Pilate and Christ: The 2012 production continues with the theme of Caiaphas, Annas, and Pilate all being bougie af, since Pilate intentionally looks like he just came from tennis practice during this scene.  Also he does pilates...hehehe.

20) King Herod’s Song: Tim Minchin says in a BTS interview that JCS works best when Jesus and Judas are played seriously and the rest of the production is allowed to be completely camp and wild and bizarre all around them, and he is bloody well CORRECT about that.  Case in point: King Herod.  There is not a single production of JCS that I know of where Herod is played “straight.”  He’s been played by everyone from Alice Cooper to Jack Black, and everyone puts a different zany spin on him.  In JCS 2012 he’s a chat show host in a red crushed velvet suit, who is clearly having the time of his LIFE. 

21) Could We Start Again Please: This is another of my faves.  Just a quiet moment where MM, Peter, and the disciples try to grapple with the fact that Jesus is arrested and things are going very, very badly.  This is also my favorite Melanie C moment of the 2012 show.  Her grief is very real, and the little moment she has with Peter at the end is very real.

22) Death of Judas: This is basically Tim Minchin screaming for about five minutes, and incredibly harrowing to watch on first viewing.  

23) Trial Before Pilate: Possibly my single favorite scene in the entire 2012 production.  This is another harrowing watch, but there’s so much to take in.  The “set” that the entire show takes place on is essentially just a massive staircase, and the people with power are almost always positioned above the people without power.  In this scene, the crowd shouting “Crucify Him!” is positioned above Pilate, which is a very telling clue to Pilate’s psychology during this scene.  Jesus is at the very bottom of the stairs, of course.  Excellent use of the video screen once again during the 39 Lashes, to show the lash marks building and building until the entire screen is a wash of red.  Pilate’s counting also gets more and more frantic, especially starting around “20.”  And all the while the guitar riff from “Heaven On Their Minds” is playing.  Jesus’s line “Everything is fixed and you can’t change it” is played quite differently in different productions - here it’s defiant, but elsewhere (in JCS 2000 for example) it’s almost tender, like Jesus is absolving Pilate for his part in the trial.  But it always ends the same - with Pilate almost screaming as he passes the sentence and “washes his hands” of the whole sorry business. 

24) Superstar: The most over-the-top number in the show.  Judas, who died two scenes ago, comes back to sing this.  There are soul singers.  There are girls in skimpy angel costumes.  The parkour guys from the prologue are back.  Judas pulls a tambourine out of hammerspace midway through the song.  And Jesus is silently screaming and crying as he gets hoisted onto a lighting beam while all this is going on.

25) The Crucifixion: More of a spoken-word piece than a song, it’s Jesus’s final words on the cross over eerie piano music, and another harrowing watch.

26) John 19:41: An instrumental piece in which Jesus is taken from the cross and carried, at last, to the top of the stairs, before being lowered out of sight as the video screen turns into a memorial wall and everything fades to black.

So.  I know I’m anywhere from three to fifty-one years late to this particular party, but I am on the JCS bandwagon now and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself.  :)

[heavenknowsffs]

alright folks here's my eurovision song ratings

Germany - wtf? so random 0/10

Lithuania - perfect for the original theme of eurovision which was "make fun of other countries" but the song is catchy 2/10

Russia - language points! awesome lyrics feminist bop 10/10

Australia - powerpuff girls in 2021 gay vibes but also child vibes cool visuals 4/10

Ireland - bland pop song 0/10

Cyprus - miley cyrus but in another country speaking spanish and english (WARNING for a lot of flashes in the official video) 5/10

Norway - bit sad, also on theme with previous eurovision vibes 2/10

Slovenia - this song is about castiel supernatural 6/10

North Macedonia - the gay man that saved us all 7/10

Croatia - 1/3 language points. bland because it's not entirely in croatian, the chorus is cool. visuals... pretty cool 7/10 (should be in croatian)

Belgium - weird af what y'all on? but also men ain't shit so 5/10

Isr*el - free palestine. the irony of the name of this song..... won't even comment on this one

Romania - billie eilish vibes but only visually? nice message in the lyrics 6/10

Azerbaijan - immaculate vibes, language points!! and yeah let's gooo 9/10

Ukraine - DUDE! YES. language points! the lyrics are so cool and the concept too 10/10

Malta - hot girl shit LET'S GOOOO lizzo vibes 8/10

San Marino - *beyonce gif* Flo Rida??? ana malhoa vibes (WARNING for flashes at the beginning, official music video) 7/10

Estonia - too straight and not even in their language. tony carreira of estonia 1/10

Czech Republic - 1/10 of language points, the video has a lot of movie references but i personally didn't like it that much 2/10

Greece - dude don't ride a horse like that (i fell off a horse yesterday this triggered me) i was too distracted by this flying horse to pay attention but it seemed it was going to be political and then wasn't so :/ 1/10

Austria - "amen i guess" ?? i'm not catholic sorry 2/10

Poland??? i don't know bitch - horrible song, looks like one of the brit entries 0/10

Moldova - it's about sex, weird af visuals, perfect for the old eurovision theme i miss making fun of other countries. they had the psy dance move as well. idk tik tok dance vibes. my friend says it gave him meghan trainor vibes (song) 3/10

Iceland (?) - also perfect for the old eurovision theme. power rangers who? little big vibes (if you don't know little big they had that weird song for russia last year). the lyrics are about love but the video is power ranger themed 4/10

Serbia - also about sex, pretty cool tho. language points! pretty girls (but that's a theme in every song ;) ) i think it's fun because it's not in english (WARNING for flashes in the official video) 7/10

Bulgaria - pretty song and has a sweet message at the end 6/10

Georgia - i though it was gonna be a cover of dream a little dream of me. needless to say i was disappointed. the guy looks portuguese af 2/10

Albania - powerful voice. language points! also religious but very pretty even though i didn't understand the lyrics all that well 8/10

Portugal - listen. i have a lot of opinions because this is my country but LISTEN. i will never forgive them for not bringing a song in portuguese (and there were good ones) BUT after hearing every song and deliberating i do believe we have one of the top 5 songs 10/10 (also thanks spanish hermanitos for the love in the comments i see you <3)

Finland - finland you have my love. this song is too good for eurovision, sadly i don't think it will go far but it's on my top 3. i do hope it wins or is at least in the running for winning! (i also thought this about our salvador sobral and we won so ;) we never know do we?) 11/10

Latvia - great voice but the background voice is super annoying. there's a lot of diversity in the video and it was a nice message 6/10

Switzerland - (WARNING for car accidents in the official video) depressing af, the video doesn't fit the song lyrics imo. language points! the video is beautiful 5/10

Denmark - super weird and i think it's about sex, there's no video so yeah it's a normal dance song for me. language points! 5/10

France - cute lyrics i loved the way they relate to the video, it's pretty. language points! 6/10

The Netherlands - it's cool but not my fave. the video is pretty too and i loved the dances 6/10

Italy - ITALYYYYY OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDD. this is my favourite the bissexuals stay winning <3 the song, the lyrics, the video, language points!, all perfect, even heard it twice 20/10 (minor warning for the end of the video it has some stuff involving eyes and bugs)

Spain - so sweet and language points! fernando daniel vibes 8/10

UK - didn't even get through half of the song and went back to finland's song, don't talk to me 0/10

overall my faves are italy, finland and portugal followed closely by russia and malta. overall in the videos lesbians stay winning it's all pretty girls 😭😭

[radioactive-synth]

Fallout-Themed ‘Get to Know Me’

taggin myself :)

First Encounter with Fallout: 2016. I did bought the game a few days after its release, but didnt touched it until february next year. i didnt expected that FO4 can get me so hooked, as these type of games werent even my fave back then. i did played a bit of NV and very few of 3, almost finished 1 (a bug appeared so cant finish main quest) and i didnt passed even first level in 2 :)

Name of my first character: Vaughn. named him after my fave character from Border/lands series. the last name ‘Zander’ appeared almost a year later after playin it and decided to give him something. Aleksandros is a rather new name, but is his unused middle name.

Dumb way(s) I’ve died in Fallout: throwing grenades, giving Curie a fatman, walking directly into turrets, mirelurks, glowing radroach, wanting to punch a deathclaw

What would I improve in Fallout 4: each companion to have their own quest. improving the romance system. improve the dialogue. improving the melee fighting system and have more moves. giving me the chance to play as other type of characters (ghoul, supermutant).

taggin: @theartofblossoming