#-Dread
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"Some aspecs want relationships!
Yeah.
And some aspecs want to stab you to death.
Sure plenty of aspec people still want to date/have sex/have platonic relationships/whatever else, but others don't want or can't stand the thought of relationships.
Stop using people's personal preferences to justify your aphobia Chadiffer.
#-dread#this goes out to all aspecs who are sick of people using preferences to justify aphobia#aspec mafia#acespec mafia#asexual#aromantic#aspec mafia approved#acespec#aplatonic#aphobia#arophobia#acephobia#aromantic asexual#aplspec#loveless aro#sex repulsed#romance repulsed#platonic repulsed
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Me yapping about syscourse again.
Something I feel like we as a society seem to collectively forget is how the people you see online are actual people in real life. These are real people with lives, with feelings. And yet, disgusting people still choose to be bullies.
This is what I hate about sysmeds.
I can't count how many anti-endo posts I've seen in total on here, on Twitter/X, on Instagram, and especially on TikTok straight up telling non-traumagenic and non-disordered systems to kill themselves. Telling them they're delusional. Telling them they're fake and invalid. Do they not realize how much hearing that personally affects people?
I'm sure there are endogenic systems that are still struggling, whether they're far in their journey or not, to grasp and believe the fact that they are a system. And even if some are wrong about the fact they are a system, that's okay too—that doesn't mean you harass and bully them for it.
We're almost two years in this discovery mess, and we're still in shock and denial every time we find out something new, and to see anti-endos completely shit on systems not like them physically hurts.
So, to end this rambling off, I'd like to remind systems of partial/non-traumagenic origins, created systems, and spiritual systems that you are all valid. You all deserve love and respect, and I hope those who have been sent death threats and relentless bullying can recover from it.
We don't deserve the hate.
#-dread#tw rant#tw syscourse#tw sui mention#endo safe#plural system#traumaendo#pro endo#plurality#plural community#actually plural#syscourse#anti endo dni
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wish the human body had like a crash log or something so I could pin shit down. Why am I having a sudden spike of anxiety when I’m just sitting here? Well it looks like there’s a conflict here between my medication and the better foliage mod
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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
#whew boy this make me anxious just typing it#wrestling#middle school#the dread#i feel like i have to write some stories about my grandpa not being a dick#because he was actually an amazing grandpa#he just had a few goofs are very comedic moments#and you know if you're gonna have a goof making it comedic is a virtue in itself#he was there for me more than a lot of my classmates dads were#and i dont want that undervalued#yeah#babylon-lore
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The Veilguard
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dragon age veilguard#solas#rook#treviso#dread wolf#my art#legionofpotatoes
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This pride month aspecs should be allowed to bite anyone who tries to exclude them from queer spaces.
#this is late but idc#-dread#aspec mafia#acespec mafia#asexual#aromantic#acespec#aplatonic#aemotional#afamilial#atertiary#a-aesthetic#non aesthetic#aqueerplatonic#loveless aromantic#heartless aro
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I had a horn shift last night and realized that I really need to shave down my horns. I didn't know they could get this long.
They keep poking my ears.
#I mean I need to do this in headspace. I don't think I even have the right materials for it.#-Dread#plurality#plural system#nonhuman
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Aspec Mafia approved
"but aces and aros can be in relationships"
Yes, I know that, but do YOU know that aces and aros in relationships are still aces and aros? Do you internalize that? Are you aware that we don't just suddenly turn straight, or gay or anything else?
Yes, even demis
Are you aware that a sex repulsed asexual will still be sex repulsed even in a relationship, and so, might never fuck you?
Are you aware that a romance repulsed aro will still be romance repulsed even in a seemingly normative relationship and might not like doing typical romantic gestures and activities?
Are you aware that a sex neutral or positive asexual might not actually be sexually attracted to you at all even if they do fuck you?
Are you aware that a romance neutral or positive aro might not actually be romantically into you even if they are comfortable with typical romantic gestures?
Are you aware that our identities are just as permanent as yours?
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Semi-motivational quotes from Hayao Miyazaki
#hayao miyazaki#spirited away#princess mononoke#studio ghibli#ghibli films#ghibli movie#my neighbor totoro#quotes#motivating quotes#mangaka#manga#anime#existentialism#existential dread#existential thoughts
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the ornithologist and the lady of the forest
#art#fantasy art#artists on tumblr#working on a lot of blue and feeling it#dreading going back to work
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reflection
#anyways so i think samus has major survivors guilt and is a super perfectionist. The type of girl who reimagines scenarios in her mind#And thinks about how she could have done better. like ‘if i had woken up sooner maybe i could have saved everyone in prime 3’#so i think she says she doesnt know anything about herself because shes so hypercritical of her actions she doesnt see herself as a person#while also her hyper critical-ness shows how she says she wants to ignore herself but she literally cant because she has so many criticisms#oh i wanted to include the ppl from the prime 2 manga in that one shot but was like ‘i dont think ppl will recognize them’.#also lol the existence of dark samus would fuck her up SOOOO bad like it only exists bc she exists & its responsible for the gang’s deaths#okay im done rambling tldr MENTAL ILLNESS.#metroid#samus aran#loneart#metroid dread#metroid prime#super metroid#metroid series#i dont wanna tag all the games. There just those games is enough#hall of fame#gray voice
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KILL IT WITH FIRE
DONT SCROLL THIS IS IMPORTANT!
im begging anyone who sees this post to prevent rapesexual, im begging you. no one will see this but if you do reblog to get the message out that these fuckers exist and dont deserve to exist heres the flag so you can know who to fucking block, report and tell to fuck off
i dont want this to ruin the pride and help with self esteem of being lgbtq+ so a signal boost from larger accounts might be nice
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These little guys from The Veilguard are now available as stickers!
Search "Dragon Age" on Instagram stories, Giphy, or in the stickers on our Discord server to add them to your post.
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