#--which leaves us the truck which steven's always taking to go to work or to go out with friends or to do this bullshit and that bullshit

[stormkobra-5]

Oh What a Knight

A Batons and Unicorns Drabble

Summary: Steven worries for you, but he knows you can handle yourself. If anyone messes with you, he knows you’re just gonna turn into an elephant or alligator or something and totally wreck them. Until the one day you don’t. You can’t. Tranquilized, you’re kidnapped on your way home from school, and nobody has any clue to your whereabouts except for a ransom video.

Canonically, as far as I’m concerned? Jake wears leather jackets and is basically Scottish Poe Dameron. Change my mind. WAIT I HAVEN’T SEEN EPISODE THREE YET DON’T--

A/N: There’s some light angst here. Light angst. This takes place after Promises and the as-yet-unwritten Meet the Parents, and despite the fact that the original 3-part series can be read as gender-neutral, this one is specifically Steven Grant x fem!Reader.

Notes: So, apparently this is a series now that is overshadowing my Poe Dameron x Mandalorian!OC. Completely unexpected but I’m loving it. This story features a nice dad Khonshu, supportive Jake and Marc, and one very pissed off Steven. Also, I just made up the address, because I know nothing about New York City. And when I say generic bad guys? I mean GENERICTM bad guys.

Warnings: This story is rated 14+ for violence and strong language.

______________________________________________________________

You start stacking your books on top of the sturdy canvas blanket you drag out of your backpack.

God, I fucking hate studying. Why the fuck did I go to college again?

Okay, maybe you don’t hate it as much as you say. Once you’re done with your degree, you can have an upstanding career! Of course, you’re also an Avenger. They pay you a salary and they pay for your college, and they did let you live in the tower with them for a year, so you can’t complain. Besides, if you’re worried about your future? Don’t be.

Jake is a fucking billionaire. How do you think you got the Victorian house all fixed up over the course of the last few months? Not to mention, Steven has his job in the museum. You guys are set even though you absolutely refuse to use Jake’s money unless necessary.

Your guys’ house is now beautiful. Extraordinary. And ready for you two to start a family.

When Marc and Jake found out you guys weren’t joking and were actually, physically trying... well, Jake was ecstatic. He wanted to just run out and buy all the toys in New York city, but you had to physically pull him back into the house and explain why he couldn’t do that.

Marc was... happy, but worried. Protective.

And funnily enough, Marc showed up one day with a ridiculously tiny Moon Knight suit. “What’s this?”

Marc hesitated. “...Khonshu had me bring it to you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, but apparently Khonshu thinks of Marc, Steven, and Jake like his sons, and now you like a daughter.

Which is nice.

You were thanking thin air.

But it’s been a couple weeks, and nothing’s happened yet.

Doesn’t mean you’re gonna give up.

You stand back, admiring your work. You do this every day, and at this college, a lot of superheroes earn their degrees. So it isn’t exactly unusual when you tie up the ends of the blanket and turn into a giant shoebill stork.

Yep.

When Steven, Marc, Jake, or any of your Avenger friends can’t come pick you up and take you home, this is your mode of transport since your truck broke down (hey, you can afford some stuff, but you love that fucking truck, okay? It’s currently in the shop). You’d be a dragon, but last time you did that, people panicked and called the Avengers on you.

Funny, right?

Not really.

With a very bird-like sigh, you reach forward and grab the top of the sack when you feel a sharp prick to your neck.

Oh??? The fuck???

You can only think for a few seconds before your mind becomes foggy, and you fall to the side with a squawk of alarm. You can’t keep your eyes open, and there aren’t many people out front-- you’re always one of the last to leave. Those that are out front are too busy on their phones or flirting to notice the seemingly ungraceful stork fall and not get back up.

The last thing you see is an ominous figure coming toward you...

~***~

Steven doesn’t suspect anything’s wrong when he gets home from work later that day. “Y/N, I’m home!” He calls, putting his keys in the bowl-- yours aren’t there. “Oh.”

You must still be out. With a sigh, Steven puts his things away and goes upstairs to take a shower and change clothes. When he comes out, he picks up his phone to text you. I’m home, love. Need any help with your errands?

You don’t respond, which isn’t unusual. You’re not allowed to have your phone up or on vibrate in class and sometimes you forget to turn it back on. Luckily he knows that when you’re done with whatever you’re doing, you’ll more than likely call him from your car.

He pulls out his reading glasses and sits at his desk. He reads a few chapters before checking his phone and the time. ...Huh.

“She’s probably at the store,” Jake says in the reflection of the phone. “I wouldn’t worry about it, mate.”

Steven gets up, feeds Gus the Third, and then heads to the kitchen. He doesn’t want to have dinner without you, but he skipped lunch today and he’s starving. I’ll just have something small, he tells himself. He opens the fridge and looks for a second before picking a small salad and making back for the living room.

He freezes in the doorway.

Wait a fucking second.

Steven darts back to the fridge and tears it open. Just to make absolutely certain, he tears open all the cabinets. Yep, he’s absolutely certain.

There’s no need to go to the fucking store.

Jake gets excited. “D-do you think she’s at the doctor? Do you think she felt funny and went to go get checked?”

The prospect greatly excited Steven. He couldn’t help but smile to himself at the idea. But then his smile falls as Marc says, “No. She would’ve called us. She’d want us to be there with her.”

Steven frowns and goes to his phone. There’s no texts back, so he texts you again. Where are you, love?

When you still haven’t responded twenty minutes later, Steven calls the tower. He has to get through a gauntlet of machines to get to Stark, at which point he’s so worried he just blurts out, “I haven’t seen Y/N today.”

Stark sounds oddly stoic. “Yeah. I know. I was just about to call you. You need to get over here now.”

Steven’s never moved so fast in his life.

~***~

Steven was the one that left the house, but Marc is the one that busts through the door and rides the elevator to the briefing room. When he bursts in, everyone turns to see him-- the standard crew is there, except for you.

“Where is she?” Marc growls out.

“We don’t have an address,” Romanoff replies from her place beside a screen, holding a remote. “All we have is a ransom video.”

Marc nods, hands on his hips, forcing Steven to the back of his mind. Jake is already there. He’s seen terrible things before. Steven doesn’t need to see what they’ve done to you, whoever they are. “Show me.” He braces himself for the worst.

What he sees is the view from a camera on top of a wall, looking down into a cage.

Marc can’t help but smile a little as he lets Steven and Jake return, because he knows that aside from actually putting you in the cage, nobody’s laid a hand on you.

You’re an alligator beating your tail into the bars. You’re a tiger swiping at anyone that comes too close. You’re an elephant that keeps charging and pushing at the cage walls. Best of all, you’re a dragon, and you keep spouting fire, trying to melt the nearly-fireproof bars, but it looks like you can’t keep a fire going for very long. You try to turn into a cheetah and slither through the bars, but you jump back with a chirp of alarm when you hit an electric, invisible fence between the bars. You turn into a unicorn and even try to warp your way out, but you can’t. You’re a wolf and you throw your head back, howling.

Howling for your moon.

Or something.

The camera pans, though, to some random jackass who sits with his legs crossed like he’s ready to stroke a cat and evil laugh. “Wow. Generic.” Marc scoffs.Then he sees the hounds on either side of him, the hounds of Ammit. He sees the scales tattoo on his forearm.

Harrow’s involved.

And he’s got you.

He knows the Avengers can’t see the hounds. He wonders if they can even see the scales. But they see his face pale, and then they realize this is a serious threat.

Harrow could kill you at any second. He feels Jake’s panic and Steven’s absolute terror.

“Hello, Avengers.” The villain drawls out. “As you can see, I have something of yours.” Your eerie howl pierces the end of his sentence and Marc feels a chill crawl up his spine. The villain frowns and snaps his fingers. “Tranquilize that wretch again.” Marc flinches when he hears you yelp following a pop. “I will make this simple, heroes. You have something of mine as well, and I want it back.”

Marc clenches his jaw so hard it pops.

“Those vials you took from my accomplice in Constantinople... I want them back. If you do not bring them to the conjunction of West Avenue and North Boulevard at twelve o’clock tonight, I will give the order and your Skinchanger will be charged with so much energy that she’ll be nothing but a pile of dust. I hope I’ve made myself crystal clear.”

The video cuts off.

“Who’s coming with me?” Marc asks immediately.

“It’s... Complicated.” Rogers replies.

I’M SORRY.

THE FUCK???

Marc’s ready to turn them all into slivers of fleshy bits, but then Strange speaks up. “This mission must be handled extremely delicately if we are to retrieve Y/N.”

Marc catches their meaning. “You’re saying I can’t be delicate?”

“I’m saying that you might be prone to... more violent actions,” Strange specifies carefully. “Therefore... We would like Steven to come.”

Slowly, Marc grins, which puts everybody off. “Sure. Steven can front.”

Because only he can see that sweet, loving Steven is so fucking pissed right now that he looks like Marc.

Those guys have his girl, and he’s going to make them regret it.

By the time Steven’s fronting, he’s one very pissed off Mr. Knight.

~***~

Mr. Knight, Ant-Man, and Banner stand at the designated location at the designated time, eyeing the deserted streets for any sign of their quarry. Their plan is... Well, Steven honestly wasn’t listening to what their plan was.

He has his own.

And they better fucking listen to his change of plan, or else they’ll end up with a nasty lump to remember him by.

Khonshu scoffs. FINALLY. I WONDERED WHEN YOU’D ACTUALLY DECIDE TO FIGHT SOMEBODY. LEARNING FROM MARC, ARE YOU, STEVEN?

“Just remember what I told you, Khonshu,” Steven mumbles.

Steven doesn’t like hurting people. He really, truly, doesn’t. He hates it. He hates it when Marc does it.

But they took you.

They’re going to kill you.

And he has learned a thing or two from Marc.

When the goons show up, he sees that they have semi-automatic machine guns and manages to smirk a little. Good thing I’m bulletproof.

Before either party can say anything, Mr. Knight tilts his head just slightly, and Khonshu gets the signal. Khonshu had been controlling the winds just so, and now the moon-shaped boomerangs he’d thrown up into the air flew down at top speed, lodging themselves in the skulls of two of the goons and every single sniper and spy lurking where the other Avengers couldn’t see.

The Avengers haven’t even realized what’s happened yet. They’re bracing themselves for a fight, but all but one of the goons falls dead in a puddle of their own blood. The last goon standing reaches for his gun and radio in a desperate move, but Mr. Knight is already behind him, cracking him so hard across the temple with a baton that he busts the skin.

As the guy crumples, Ant-Man and Banner are looking around in terror. “What the hell did you do?!” Ant-Man breathes, “You trying to kill Y/N?! We needed this deal to go--”

“Smoothly?” Steven finishes, pulling his gloves further on. “Yeah, I know. And it will. So long as you two follow my lead. I know what I’m doing.”

“We wanted Steven to front just for this reason,” Banner runs his hands down his face, and Steven scoffs.

“Yeah, I am Steven. But you’ve underestimated what I can do when they have somebody I love...” He hesitates for a second, then, “...The only one I love. She’s all I have. And if something happens to her...”

If he couldn’t imagine life without you even as a friend, he really can’t imagine life without you when you two have lived together for awhile, repaired a giant house for you two to build a family in, and have spent every day together for the last year and a half.

He grabs the groaning man by the collar of his shirt, dragging him effortlessly to the wall of a closed shop. He slams him so hard into the wall the bricks crack and he all but growls, “Where the bloody hell is Y/N?”

The goon grins through bleeding teeth. Ant-Man and Banner watch for incoming threats, unsure of what else to do, as Mr. Knight interrogates their prisoner. “Not gonna tell me?” He whips out a baton. “That’s alright. I’ll make you tell me. I imagine it’d be pretty bloody painful to be stabbed with a baton. I know exactly where I’m gonna stab you, too; right in the lowest part of your spine.” The goon keeps grinning. He doesn’t think Mr. Knight will do it.

BREAK HIS WINDPIPE, Khonshu says, looming over them, HE’S NOT GOING TO TELL YOU ANYTHING. WE CAN FIND Y/N ANOTHER WAY.

Mr. Knight leans closer to the guy, holding his baton pointedly between them. “Let me make this perfectly clear: you have my wife. You’ve threatened my wife.”

Of course, you guys aren’t married yet-- you’ve talked about it, but neither of you have gone further than that-- but it’s easier and more intense to say that you’re his wife.

The goon has the balls to laugh. “You’re not gonna kill me. You need me for information.”

Steven laughs this time, setting himself on edge. “You think so, huh?” He gestures to the corpses surrounding them. “I can have Khonshu revive any one of these fine gentlemen if you’re not gonna tell me anything. After I grind my baton slowly up through your spine so that you can feel each individual vertebrae crunch. And that’s just me. I’m sure Moon Knight wouldn’t be so nice to you.”

The goon chuckles again, and Khonshu turns to wave his hand. One of the corpses spasms, and begins to rise.

It’s all a show, of course, because Khonshu wouldn’t actually revive anyone, but the looks of terror on the faces of Ant-Man and Banner must be enough to convince the goon that it isn’t. Mr. Knight sees the blood drain from his face and grins. “Your choice.”

Without effort, he flips the guy around and makes like he’s going to stab him just like he said. “W-w-wait! Wait! I’ll tell you anything!”

Khonshu gives a booming chuckle. WEAK, IDIOTIC HUMANS. THEY’RE SO ENTERTAINING WHEN YOU THREATEN THEM.

“Wonderful!” Mr. Knight says, and yanks the guy back by his shoulder, slamming him into the sidewalk. He leans over him, still holding the baton. “How good of an actor are you, mate?”

“I-I--”

“Because you’re gonna get on your little radio there and tell them you have the vials. And then you’re going to lead us right to where they’ve got Y/N, yeah? But if they don’t believe you, and they kill her...” He leans closer. “I’ll do a lot worse than stab you. And Khonshu can keep you alive even if I cut your bloody heart out.”

He hands the guy his radio in offering. In a threatening manner. Shaking, the guy takes it, and Steven stands straight with what he hopes passes for an evil grin. “Good. Now if you do exactly what I say, I’ll let you go.”

In reality?

He feels like he’s gonna throw up.

~***~

When the guy returned to their warehouse with an empty case, he was shot in cold blood.

But Banner had already disabled the electric forcefield surrounding you, so while Ant-Man and Mr. Knight beat the shit out of the guys firing the guns,  when the villain gave the order, they were met with only an angry guy in a white tux, a guy who kept shrinking, the Jolly Green Giant, and one very pissed off unicorn.

In a matter of moments, every thug in the warehouse was either wounded or had fled, and there was no sign of the villain. You kept your left foreleg off the ground; you were injured, but not dead. You turned to Steven, who tears off his mask and rushes to your side, inspecting your wound. “Birdie-- Birdie I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I should’ve, been with you, I should’ve taken off work to pick you up--”

You’re a human again, and you hug him and kiss him and tell him in ASL that it’s not his fault, that you’re alright, and you’re both repeating how much you love each other. Now you can let go and let the fear run its course: you’d been kidnapped. But you feel safe in Steven’s arms.

Steven, however, is absolutely terrified. He can’t leave you to protect you-- he’d break you, and Harrow knows that he could still take you and Steven would come running. He can protect you better when he’s ready to come running at any given moment. But now your guys’ sense of safety and security has been upturned.

And Steven has no idea what to do.

~***~

It’s been a few days since your kidnapping, and Steven hasn’t really let you leave the house. He doesn’t really leave the house. He’s so terrified of you being kidnapped again that he’s called in sick for you at your college, he’s called in sick at his work, and he’s trying to convince you to move back to the tower.

Finally, you get him on the couch to talk to him. “Steven... we’re not moving back to the tower. I’m gonna go back to school. You’re gonna go back to work.”

Steven is shaking his head. “No, you’re not going to school without an escort, I’m never going back to work again so I can be your escort, and we’re moving back to the tower.”

You sigh. “You know how many times Natasha’s been kidnapped? Or Pepper? Hell, even Stark himself? It’s normal to be kidnapped on occasion when you’re a superhero.”

Steven takes your hands in his. “But they could’ve killed you.”

“They didn’t,” You say, “And they won’t. I can take care of myself. I lived through that, didn’t I?” You take his face in your hands, looking into his eyes. “We’re gonna stay right where we are and go back to living like we were. Okay? We’re gonna be fine. You know everybody that gets kidnapped has a security detail they don’t know about? We’ve got Men in Black dudes keeping an eye on us twenty-four seven. Hence why Pepper hasn’t been kidnapped since that last time. It took forever for Stark to get the teams approved, but...”

Steven sighs, pressing his forehead to yours and holding you tight. “...If something happens to you...”

“If something happens to you,” You scoff, “It’s a dangerous job, Steven. But we’re superheroes. We can do it.”

Steven pulls away, leaning back on the couch as he thinks. Eventually he nods a little. “Fine. But I can’t say I’ll ever be relaxed again, not when Harrow’s threatening you.”

“Can’t say I’ll ever be relaxed again with Harrow threatening me.”

Steven stands, pacing over to look into the fish tank of Gus the Third. When he turns back to you, he looks like somebody just punched him in the gut. “...We should... We should at least stop trying. Because...” His implication is left hanging, and you get it.

But you smile to yourself, biting your lip as you avert your gaze. “...It’s a little late for that, Steven.”

“Wait, what?” Marc says in the reflection of the fishtank at the same time Jake says the exact same thing in the window.

OH? Khonshu booms curiously, leaning over you thoughtfully.

Steven gets it a little slower, but he’s left standing there in shock. Did he hear you right? Did you just say that? Then you get up and come closer, taking something out of your pocket: you hand the little thermometer-looking-thing to him. He may not have known what it was, but he realizes what it is when he sees the twin pink lines.

Steven unleashes a breath. It might be alarm, relief, shock, or all of the above, but he sucks it back in with something like a frightened smile as his eyes flick to you. “Y-you’re--”

He’s never seen you smile so big, and you’re also kind of crying. “Uh-huh.”

Steven balks, and then he’s hugging you so tight you can’t breathe. You return the hold almost twice as tightly. You’re both laughing and crying at the same time. You can’t hear the cheers and applause from Marc and Jake, nor can you see or hear Khonshu when he looms down with the air of a smile and pats Steven’s head.

WELL DONE, STEVEN!

“I’m gonna protect you,” Steven promises, “Both of you, with everything I have and then some. No one’s ever going to hurt either of you.”

“You’ll have us, Steven,” Jake swears, “You’ll have backup!”

“I can suggest some further security measures to keep them safe,” Marc inputs.

HM... Khonshu thinks for a second, then, I SUPPOSE IT WOULD BE WISE IF I TOOK THEM UNDER MY PROTECTION... YES, I WILL DO THAT.

In that moment, neither of you care about the threat of looming Harrow, or being kidnapped, or anything else. Steven-- he’s sure he and his alters can protect you, now that they’ll have Khonshu’s help. Harrow’s never, ever going to get a hold of you, not while they’re around.

Steven pulls back far enough to pepper kisses on your face, but his hand hasn’t left your stomach. He stops, looking around in a daze for a second-- you’re unsure if he’s still Steven, or if Marc or Jake has taken over. He takes you by the hand and starts dragging you to the door. “W-we need to go get a dog-- and go to the store, we need to start on the nursery-- we need to tell everyone at the tower so they don’t try to send you on missions-- oh! Don’t forget to call your mum!”

He locks the door and runs to the car, but you’re staring after him with tears running down your face. Steven stops immediately and returns to your side. “What is it?”

You shake your head. How can you explain that your heart’s about to just fucking explode from the overdose of happiness? Instead, you choke out, “I just love you so much.”

Steven smiles, tears in his own eyes. He kisses you and pulls you in for another tight hug, resting his chin on top of your head. “I love you too, birdie. Both of you.”

______________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading!

Taglist:

@dameronsknight​

@sylkisdagger​

@atzlena​

@gucciboots​

@pastel-0-princess​

[aellynera]

Moon Knight Episode 1 - The Goldfish Problem

Okay, so after staying up until 2am my local time to watch the series premiere last night, I’m going in again because YES PLEASE. In a way, I wish DIsney would drop the whole series at once, but I’m kind of a masochist and I revel in the idea of dragging it out and making myself crazy for five more weeks. So hre I am blogging thoughts/reactions as I rewatch this episode. Feel free to ignore me, feel free to inbox me with your thoughts/comments, please scream along with me because this series is gonna be a ride.

*** PLEASE BE ADVISED THERE ARE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT ***

Okay, so I actually knew what the first scene was going to be because of reading an interview Ethan had done, but dude… glass in your shoes is a little extreme no matter who your chosen god is. Also, if you wore glass-filled shoes and no socks all the time, your feet would look way more gnarly than that.

And this soundtrack? Is KILLING IT. The song choices are fucking fantastic and whoever was in charge of the music should get extra cookies.

I want a Gus. 

Is Steven actually leaving a voicemail for his mom, or does he just think he’s talking to his mom? Is he really calling his real (Marc’s) mom, who undoubtedly knows about the DID? 

God I would take any tour Steven wanted to give me I LOVE HIM OKAY???

I know people are like “omg that British accent” and yes, it’s supposed to be kind of fake but it still works, which is the point. And the way they’ve written Steven’s dialogue so far is maybe my favorite thing in the show. I’m the type of person who is far too self-deprecating on a daily basis and he’s like the perfect mix of smart, funny, and just a bit too self-aware and it makes me so happy and I would honestly watch an entire show JUST about Steven Grant and his everyday life. He feels like such a real person to me, I don’t know how else to explain it.

 “If I’m gonna have a girlfriend at some point, at some point, obviously can’t have ankle restraints on my bed, can i?” Y’ALL ThE WAY I LAUGHED. Holy shit. Have I read too much smutty fanfic? Probably BUT COME ON OSCAR you can’t just SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT and- honestly what exactly is the problem here sir? Sorry, getting distracted.

Any time this man puts a pair of glasses on is a good day. A GOOD DAY. Tell me I’m wrong.

I adore Khonshu’s snarky ass and I kinda want my very own to narrate my existence and mock me on the daily. And I adore that it’s F. Murray Abraham and that in a backwards kind of way, Llewyn Davis is finally being mentored by Bud Grossman like he always wanted.

If Ethan Hawke was going for the David Koresh cult leader vibe? Nailed it. He’s charismatic and interesting and creepy and I can’t wait to see how he develops too.

The first time Steven had a blackout I thought my tv and my app were fritzing and I was ready to throw things.

This is officially the greatest use of “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” in the history of ever.

THE CUPCAKE VAN AND THE CHICKEN TRUCK. Charming.

Okay and then the fact somewhere in the time that Marc/Steven was in the Alps, Gus died? And Marc replaced Steven’s fish? Like??? My. Heart.

Steven looking at himself in the mirror in a jacket and tie and calling himself a knob is going to give me LIFE for an entire week.

And the way my heart broke when he found out it was two days later and he missed his date?? Poor sweet baby angel. I’ll eat a sympathy steak with you.

“No, not personally.” Made me bark laugh each time. The clever little bits of wordplay in the script are delightful. And also charming.

I love how they used mirrors. Actually the episode was really beautiful in general, the cinematography is wonderful. It’s such a pretty show. The whole sequence at the ended with the museum and the evil-Egyptian-death-dog chase was wonderful. 

One of the things I was most excited to see from the series was the way Marc and Steven interact. I wasn’t expecting it to hit like this, this early. And I know there’s so much more coming, and I can’t wait to meet Mr. Knight, and and and. And who was the Duchamp in the middle of all the missed Layla calls? Has to mean something, otherwise why stop there for a second and let us see it? I also really want to meet Layla.

UGH CAN IT BE NEXT WEEK SO WE CAN HAVE EPISODE TWO??

p.s. I know it’s not the context at all but the way Marc says “Look at me” to Steven in the bathroom? Um. Hngh. Yes. Yes sir.

[susoftjockau]

The Party - Part Seven

Looking at plants was the type to inflame a ravenous hunger. Well, anything can make one hungry, so this wasn't a new experience for him even with the new context to it. If anything, this was one of the less intense but pleasing moments in his life, where he could enjoy a meal without that lulling buzz of deja vu he kept having when it came to eating in general — veggie burgers, salads, pizzas, somewhere located with the cheerleaders with no care in the world; it was a pattern that he got used to quickly.

This time it was a bit different: there was a light squeeze in his chest, the kind that kept him warm like a fireplace even with the cold walk out of the park and the goosebumps riding his arms. It must've been Connie; he wouldn't lie that she had been a small crush of his ever since they met — it didn't help that this intensified because of that magical statue he touched a week before that, being told that it granted miracles of romance, which he was a sucker for. He could question why he had such an affinity for her but it was already there for him if he squinted hard enough. It must’ve been her warm personality. Or her intelligence. Or anything else for that matter that kept him focused to his jam bud, staying right next to her as they exited the Japanese grounds for some food.

They found the truck on the outskirts of the garden — wafting of spice and vegetable, dream catchers dangling from the overhang, makeshift tables harboring a few families and teenagers for the night. Some were talkative, but many appeared to be relaxing, enjoying the solitude as the truck took orders for plates and cups of Mexican cuisine, the clang and tussle of kitchen utensils resounding within in an enthusiastic beat.

Connie took account of the menu boards plastered above the truck's open grate, a small frown on her lips. "Do you think they have salads?"

Steven looked through the contents. There were tacos, quesadillas, customized cups of horchata, and everything in-between, but there doesn't seem to be any that would fit a description of a salad. He knitted his eyebrows, there was some case for worry here. "We could ask for non-meat stuff? I could take out the stuff if I have to."

"I know that, but," she bit her lip, flinching at a loud clang of metal from the truck's kitchen, "I have to make sure their meals don't have too many carbs or cholesterol."

Oh. He felt a bit ashamed for forgetting that one tidbit: that his jam bud had a diet stricter than his. "Wellll, we'll just see where it goes. One of these dishes must have a lot of vegetables, they’re bound to help us with custom orders; they sound like they'll be okay with it if it makes their customers happy."

"I hope so." She rubbed her arm, but after a second of it she pulled it back down, like the action burned her upon contact. "I don't want my stomach to act up."

"We could find another restaurant if that works for you."

"No, no," she shook her head. "I'm okay, let's just ask them and see if we have to move or not."

He nodded. Sounds like a deal. "Alright."

The ordeal wasn't that worrisome when it came down to it. There were a slew of questions over which dishes had the most vegetables, which one harbored non-meat ingredients, and the typical pondering of choices they could pluck from the menu, both of them taking jabs on what would be the best dish — Connie more weary on her end than his. It wasn't a nervous wreck of a deal, but he could tell something was on her mind, something fumbling around her noggin like a pest on a wall. He had the patience; he had the time, yet he didn’t want to ignore it.

"You feeling okay, Strawberry?" The nickname caught her off guard. They were sitting at a table, facing each other with their meals. Steven had picked from a platter of small veggie tacos, and she was nibbling at her burrito, sweet potatoes peeking through the salsa verde, teeth hesitant on digging into the contents. It was a quiet affair, but there was a tension in the air, something he couldn't describe, yet there nonetheless. "You seem out of it."

"Am I?" Connie put her burrito down, wiping a sauce smear from her chin. Her eyes were downtrodden, looking away from him. "Sorry, I'm just thinking."

"You could tell me if it bothers you." He put one of his tacos onto her plate -- a peace offering, he called it, the breaking of tacos, even if he didn’t really break it and kept it in one piece.

She gave him a sheepish smile, putting the taco back onto his set. "Well…"

"I promise," he did a criss-cross motion in front of his chest, "won't say a word to anyone."

"I know you wouldn't." She grimaced slightly. "I'm just nervous to say it."

"Well," he said. "You don't have to tell me if you're nervous but I promise you that no matter what, I'll accept what you'll say."

"You're so sweet." Her sentence seemed to take him by surprise. Even she seemed to be surprised, tone twisting into something unfamiliar. "But yeah, I'll tell you, if it makes things a little bit easier."

"Remember, Connie," he said. "I'm always open."

"Mhm. Just give me a moment."

At the sight of her quick bite at her food, he smirked at her. "How is it?"

"It's good," she admitted, cheeks brushed with pink. "Better than I realized."

He couldn't help his giggle as she started back up again, putting the burrito down.

"It's just that," she fumbled with her fingers on the table, biting her lip, shoulders tense under the weak moonlight. "I get anxious over these types of events." She stopped, looking at him with inquiry in her stare like she was waiting for him to react. After a second, he nodded. That was enough. "When your friends were around, I'd feel like I'm drowning, overwhelmed by all of it — two of them are okay, yes, but having all of them surround me and ask questions made me want to get away...or dissociate."

"Ah…" He tried not to take offense to it. Being truthful was better than just lying to him, but somehow it still hit him that this would be hard. He can't just place her into his friend group with one step, it wasn't that simple; people had to adjust in their own ways, pacing themselves to something manageable. For Connie, she couldn't handle a crowd with all eyes on her, he'll have to take it slow or he won't have his favorite people around unless he wanted a chance of her having a panic attack.

"Okay." He said, taking a bite from his taco, chewing slowly. He needed a moment to ponder. Think. What could help her? How slow was he supposed to go? Where should they start? "You said you could manage how many at a time?"

"Two or less." Her voice went higher. "But if you really want me to get to know them, then I can try anything as long as it doesn't make me anxious."

"But you don't have to befriend them if you don't want to." He reminded her.

"That doesn't mean I don't want to." She stated. "Back at the food table, I did have a conversation with one of them; it didn't pull me into a fit or had me wanting to leave, it actually felt nice." Before he could respond, she added one more. "I'm open to trying something with you, with them, but I'll tell you if it's too much, if I can't handle it."

A sharp inhale. "You promise that?"

"I promise."

"Okay. Okay." Think. Think. Think. She could take two or less. She was able to find stuff to talk about with them without being uncomfortable. He had the patience to guide it and she had the honesty to tell him if anything went wrong. He rubbed his chin; there was an idea, but he had to get it through her before he could think of it further. "What about one-on-one time? We could schedule hangouts with them so only you and one of the girls could get to know each other. I could be a third party so you don't have to talk much if it gets awkward!"

Connie stared at him, uncertainty in her eyes — the intrigue, however, was churning in them. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Mumbles strung out from her lips. "I don't think a third party would be necessary for all of them. There are some cheerleaders that harbor more of an outgoing and talkative personality than some I've noticed. I could handle them, the only ones I'm worrying about are the ones who might be too much."

"So...I'll only come if you need me?"

"Mhm."

Okay, he thought, a smile beginning to grow on him. They were making progress; they were compromising. If they could tinker with it more, they should be able to make it work. He spoke up. "We could make a list of who'll go first? I can give you a description of each one and what they like to talk about and you can rate them on who you're most likely to get along with."

"Yeah." Her face lightened up. An ease was there, finally. "Yeah, that can work!"

"Do you have a piece of paper? I want to write the list down."

"What if we just use our phones?" She fished it out from her pocket.

"Oh yeah,” he couldn’t help his embarrassed giggle. “That works."

Progress was being made.

[valkyriesryde]

The Trail We Blaze

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky takes a trip down memory lane through his old home and no one is quite sure how he’s taking it.

Warnings: angst, mostly fluff, dad!bucky because thats a warning in and of itself

Word Count: 1.4K

A/N: This is for @this-kitten-is-smitten ‘s writing challenge! I’m so sorry its so late but thank you so much for letting me take part hun! Love you lots and lots!! My prompt was The Trail We Blaze from The Road to El Dorado!

Masterlist

~~~~~~~

‘Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service of his country.’

“You always end up here,” her arm linked through his, her hand finding his as they stood and looked at the exhibition, the cut out of Bucky, the poster of the Howling Commandos. “It’s nice to know you’ve gotten prettier with age.” Bucky chuckles and his head dips as he squeezes her hand and pulls her closer to him, kissing her temple.

“You saying I wasn’t pretty darlin’?” His eyes flick to the little girl playing with the puzzle to the side laughing. 

“Would have you in any lifetime James.” He blushes at her, his smile shy, not yet quite used to her complimenting him no matter how long it's been. “Come on, we still have the wildlife section.”

Memories played around Bucky as he stood in the foyer of the home. It filled with furniture, dinner parties and happiness. With dancing in the kitchen at 2am and flour thrown across the dining table while they made homemade pizza. It faded in and out, the kitchen now bare and the dining table carried out by Steve and Sam. Bucky watched it all disappear before him, he held a box of plates in his hands, carrying it out to the truck and walking back in to make sure there was nothing left.

“Most of the intelligence communities doesn’t believe he exists, the ones who do call him the Winter Soldier. He is credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last 50 years.”

“So he’s a ghost story.” 

Steve and Natasha stood outside the home waiting for Bucky to come out. The car packed, the truck full, all they needed was him. She spun around the lawn, laughing along with Wanda until she saw Steve’s worried face. 

“He’s fine Steve, give him a few minutes to take it all in, make sure we didn’t forget anything.” It’d been ten or so minutes and he hadn’t come out yet. Bucky had made his way upstairs by this point. His fingers trailed over the walls as he stepped down the hallway where the pictures used to hang. He stopped in the doorway of the master bedroom and looked in, not quite able to step inside because he didn’t want to disturb what was happening. 

He saw himself, scrubbing his hands in the sink in the connected bathroom. His body rocking with sobs as he scrubbed at the metal of his fingers in his underwear. The curtains were drawn and he looked back to the bed to see her sleeping figure getting out of the bed and walking towards the bathroom.

“Don’t do it,” he whispered watching her say his name. He watched her reach out for his hand and he flinched as the image of his soapy hand grabbed her throat and she yelped out. Bucky jumped forward to the middle of the room, watching himself lurch back and tumble into the wall of the shower. She crouched down to him and softly talked to him, Bucky watched her bring him back to the sink and finish washing his hands. He watches her pull him back to bed, stepping out of their way as they made their way and got in. She pulled him into her and pulled the covers right up to his chin, tucking him in causing him to chuckle slightly against her. 

Bucky smiled to himself, stepping back into the hallway and walking towards the end rooms.

“This doesn’t have to end in a fight, Buck.” Steve glanced up at Bucky from the stencils he held in his hand. 

“It always ends in a fight.” Bucky replied with a smile. “The decision isn’t up to us.”

“She’s wrong though!” 

“She’s the boss!” He yelled back. “We’re just going back and forth pal we gotta get this done, I promised I’d do it two days ago.” He knelt down and popped open the paint can.

“That’s on you jerk.” Steve laughed at his friend.

“Shut it punk.”

Bucky skipped down the steps slightly ready for the adventure that awaited him. So far, this house and the memories he held inside it were some of the happiest he’d had since everything had happened. The growth that he experienced in this house are steps that he’ll always be thankful for. This place made him happy. Even all the fights, the yelling, the crying that occurred in it still made him happy. It reminded him of how far they’d come. 

He was excited for the new step. Excited for the new house, more rooms for his family to stay, more room to play. A bigger backyard for Alpine to explore. A part of him was scared and nervous. He didn’t like leaving it all behind, didn’t like the feeling that he might forget the memories that this house held. He had to remind himself that he’d written all the best ones down. That he still had his family to make more memories with. 

As he stepped off the last step and stood in the foyer Bucky did a 360 of his surroundings, ending at the front door which flew open.

“DADDY HURRY UP!”

“DAAAAAAD!!” Small arms wrap around Bucky’s legs and his hips. The small boy, only just turned seven, in blue with a brown mop of hair scowls up at him. “Uncle Stevie is getting grumpy at you!” 

“Yea he says if you don’t hurry up we’re gonna leave you here,” the girl, who reminds Bucky too much of his sister in looks and his wife in personality pulls at his shirt as he lets out a groan.

“Oh yea? What’d your Ma say?” he asks, letting them drag him to the door.

“She told us to get your ass!” 

“Oi George none of that language.” Bucky reaches down and lifts George up and onto his hip.

“No Dad that’s what she said.” Callie deadpans and walks back out the front door that’s still wide open. 

“Oh, well she’s gotta put a dollar in the jar then doesn’t she?” He yells after her and George perks up in his arms.

“That’s what I said!” He pipes up.

“Right you two stop talking smack and hurry up. The sooner we get to the house the sooner we can eat!” She stands in the doorway with her arms crossed but a smile on her face that Bucky immediately gives back. 

“Thought you said we were getting take out babe!” He gives her a cheeky wink and she steps towards him, running her fingers through his hair that has become disheveled after the hard day’s work. 

“We still gotta leave to get it,” she smirks.

“Hmm guess you’re right,” and Bucky leans forward to kiss her softly, they both smile in it, short and sweet and rudely interrupted by George squirming in Bucky’s arms.

“Ew let me down before you kiss!”

“How am I gonna kiss you though!” Bucky shouts as George continues to try and get out of his arms and then runs off as soon as his feet hit the ground leaving Bucky’s arms free to hold her close. 

“You alright?” She whispers, her fingers back in his hair and scraping against his scalp like he loves so much. 

“Yea just reminiscing, you know how I get,” Bucky shrugs off the question, the aching of fear and sadness from leaving everything this house has given him inches into his gut with the bad thoughts that it all might fall apart without it.

“Bucky,” she presses him, knowing how he gets. 

“I know, I’m good I promise. I love you. I love this house. I love what we built inside it. I’m gonna miss it.” But there’s that underlying fear in his voice that’s just for her and no one else. It’s his way of telling her he’s a little scared but all in all he’s okay, he knows it’s going to be okay. And of course, he loves her. 

“Me too, it’s not being taken away from us though. It’s still here and we still have what we built in it.” She kisses his cheek and he holds her close against him, tightening his grip in a way that lets her know that he’s happy, he’s grateful for everything she’s done and given him. 

“I know, I’m so happy,” Bucky whispers in her hair, “you make me so happy.” She smiles back and slowly pulls away, holding his hands out between them.

“Come on daddy we gotta go before Steve blows his top.” She laughs and Bucky groans but follows nonetheless.

“Please don’t call me that.”

~~~~~~~

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

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[shewritestheblues]

the Elevator Bae - 13

Chapter Thirteen

Erik Stevens x Black OC (Phoenix) 

A/N: This series is almost to its end. I will be ending with Chapter 15. Thank You so much to everyone who has read and shared this story. I adore all of you soooooo much :)

---------------------------------------------------------

How did two months go by so fast? Tour was coming to an end and It was bittersweet for Phoenix. She was able to finally see just how many people enjoyed her music and travel alongside one of her greatest friends but she missed Luna. She missed Erik? That’s been the confusing part. She didn’t really miss him but seeing how he’s been with Luna has warmed her heart. He’s been sending her videos and pictures daily. His bright smile seems to light up her world when she FaceTimes him to see Luna.

The closer she’s been getting to the last performing date, the more her anxiety has been surfacing. Since Erik’s been back, it was dropping Luna off because she had rehearsals and meetings and then tour. (A week during tour, Erik flew in to Detroit for Phoenix to have Luna while she visited family and he was on his way back to LA.) Their only interactions have been for Luna and they were good with that. She was good with that. There wasn’t any time for anything else. But soon, the tour will be over and she’ll be taking some time from work. Will things change? Have they already started to change?

Phoenix knew she was sure that this is what she wanted. For them to only focus on their daughter. All of these thoughts were swimming through her pool of a mind. Currently sitting in her hotel room, reading the comments under Erik’s latest IG upload weren’t helping. He just posted a picture of him and Luna while they were out. He had taken her shopping with him and snapped a picture of them in the dressing room mirror. It was the cutest picture. Luna looked unbothered while looking at the phone through the mirror. This kid had so many moods to be new here. Phoenix’s mom joked that Luna’s been here before.

Phoenix found herself smiling at the caption.

‘Luna ain’t having it with you hoes today.’

Erik’s captions were always… very Erik. And the comments full of women that Phoenix assumed were from Erik’s past or women who dreamed of being a part of his future.

‘She’s beautiful Erik.’

‘I still can’t believe Erik Stevens is somebody’s daddy.’

‘Lol, she’s so cute. Does she need a brother?’

‘Damn E. You make beautiful babies.’

‘Call me, E. 😘’

Phoenix wasn’t jealous. He was single. This was her decision. But sometimes, she hoped he would post something about her. Well, you know, because she is Luna’s mother of course. Maybe a shoutout?

No, no. She caught herself. She didn’t actually need that. Everyone following Erik knew who Luna’s mother was. Phoenix was fine. She. Was. Fine. These feelings? These thoughts? They will pass. So, she exited the app. It was time for rest and rest is definitely what Phoenix needed.

—————

Everything was… okay! Phoenix had worked herself up and things between her and Erik were good. They had the perfect schedule since she’s been back home. Erik would have Luna every other weekend. He’d come over to spend time with her during his ‘off days.’ They’d joke like old times. Even Ava had warmed back up to Erik. Of course things could never be what they used to be but this was a good start to making their situation feel somewhat normal.

“So tell me Phoenix, how has your transition back home been?” Dr. McKee wasted no time. She was eager to hear how Phoenix had been managing on her own.

Phoenix didn’t go back to therapy right away when she came back home. She figured she would take some time to test the waters and see if she would handle things with the methods she’s learned.

Releasing a deep breath, “Everything is good.” Phoenix finally says. “I’m happy.”

A genuine smile grew onto Dr. McKee’s face. “That’s amazing Phoenix. I’m honestly so proud of you.”

“Thanks. I’m proud of myself too.”

“So,” Dr. McKee paused, “What made you want to come in today?”

“I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m supposed to be using this time off to relax but I can’t. I feel like I should be doing something. Too much down time makes me think and when I think, I overthink. When I overthink, I get antsy. Then I feel anxious. Which only leads to a panic attack. I just don’t know what to do with this energy.” Phoenix stops herself to take a deep, calculated breath.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Did I make the right choice— No! I know that I did but…” Phoenix trails off.

“But what?”

“Luna loves him so much. The way she lights up when she sees him. She deserves to be that happy every day. I want her to feel what I feel. I’m happy.”

“Sounds like you’re trying to convince someone of that.”

The way Phoenix rolled her neck, she felt offended. How dare her own therapist insult her like this? Phoenix was happy! She didn’t have to convince anyone. She rolled her eyes at the idea. The nerve of this highly educated woman.

“I’m not trying to upset you Phoenix. I’m just trying to understand.”

“So are you saying I don’t make any sense right now?” Phoenix snapped back.

Cool, calm and collected, Dr. McKee blinks, “I’m not saying that at all. You make perfect sense. I just want you to share as much as you can so we can get to the root of what brought you here today.”

Phoenix closed her eyes and chewed on her lip. She internally chastised herself for being snappy. “It’s just,” she slowly began, “the way he looks at me with those puppy dog eyes. Even when he’s laughing, his eyes are saying something else. Like… he’s trying to slowly drown me. When he looks at me, his eyes linger like they’re trying to get me to catch on to something.”

Phoenix opens her eyes and focuses on the floor. “I’m not changing my mind. He’s always been a smooth operator but unfortunately for him, I know that. He doesn’t get to come around and make me feel guilty for choosing what’s right for my baby.” Phoenix paused. “Our baby.” She whispered that last part.

Dr. McKee takes some notes. She opens her mouth to speak but Phoenix beats her to it.

“I understand. I really do. Erik wants to give Luna the family experience. I want that for her too. But the family we’ve all created for her is fine.”

“I agree, Phoenix. So many of us get caught up in the idea of a traditional family. But family is whoever loves you unconditionally. From what I know, you, Erik, Coby, Ava and the entire tribe you guys have around you love Luna beyond this world. That’s more than enough. You’re a great mom. Great moms make tough decisions every day, but great moms also know each decision is for the greater good of their family.”

Phoenix smiles. It feels good to hear that someone sees you and your hard work and the sacrifices for what they are. Dr. McKee was right. They may not be the traditional family, but Luna is still surrounded by a loving tribe that is unique to her.

“But,” Dr. McKee continues, “you can’t attach yourself to Erik and what he may be feeling about this. You’ve made yourself clear what you wanted. You’re happy and Luna’s happy. There’s no need to ruffle anymore feathers here.”

Dr. McKee turns to her laptop and begins typing away on her keyboard. After a few clicks, she turns to Phoenix again.

“I’ve emailed you a list of things that could help you during your free time. I want you relax and enjoy this time off as best as you can before it’s time to get back to work. You deserve it.”

“I’m going to my best.”

—————

Phoenix wasn’t in a rush to leave the parking lot of Dr. McKee’s office after her session. She sat in her car going over the list in her email.

Ways to Relax Your Brain:

-Workout.

-Take an art class.

-Plant a Garden.

-Read some good books.

-Get out in Nature.

Phoenix wasn’t gifted with a green thumb, so gardening was out of the question. She works out pretty consistently, but it hasn’t worked out with calming her thoughts so that one is scratched off. Art class felt like work and books? She’s read every book that resides in Coby’s house. She was tired of reading. Looks like getting out in Nature would be worth a shot.

She’s always loved the beach but she couldn’t remember the last time she’s been to a beach.

—————

Phoenix found herself in a very familiar spot. A picnic table on the beach, watching the beach goers enjoy themselves. The waves look beautiful as they rolled in onto the sand. The sounds of splashing seemed more soothing than Phoenix ever realized. Time seemed to be passing so slow. Everything in the world has come to a calming pause. Her mind wasn’t racing. Her heart wasn’t pounding. Tranquility was all Phoenix could come up with to describe this feeling. She had no worries, no fears, no anxiety.

The sounds of an ice cream truck moving through the parking lot near her, caught her ear. The thought of eating something sweet without her infant bullying her into sharing seemed like a great win. She stood from her seat and seemingly floated to the truck.

“Hello, what can I get you?” the older man inside the truck said with a contagious smile.

“Um,” she tapped her chin with her index finger, “I’ll go with chocolate on a waffle cone.”

“Coming up.”

Moments later, Phoenix exchanges her money for the ice cream cone and travels back to her spot at the picnic table. She picked up where she left off admiring all that surrounds her. She ate her ice cream with a pleased smile pinching at her cheeks.

The small vibration of her phone pulled her from her trance. Erik is facetiming her. She assumed he was calling to see Luna so she swiped to answer the call.

“Hey, E. I’m not with Luna right now.”

“That’s cool. I called to talk to you.”

“Oh, um, okay. What’s up?” This made her suspicious.

“The Outreach Center will be opening this Friday. We’re doing a whole big thing and uh, I wanted to invite you if you aren’t busy. Shuri told me that if I didn’t call you right now, she would never talk to me again.”

Phoenix was mid bite into her cone and almost dropped it from laughter. “Well, you know I have nothing to do. Tell Shuri that me and Luna will be there.”

“Alright.” Erik paused, eyeing Phoenix’s background through the phone. “Aye! You’re at the beach?”

“Yeah. I just needed a moment. Needed to get out of the house, I guess.”

“Everything’s alright?” His words were soft, genuine.

“Yeah, yeah. Everything is good.”

Erik didn’t believe her. He could tell something was bothering her but he didn’t want to push her. That wasn’t his place. Well not anymore at least.

“Well you know, no matter what, you can always come to me.”

“Yeah, E. I know.”

“Alright, I have some shit to get done before Friday. I’ll let you get back to your me time. I’ll text the details later.”

“K…”

“Kiss my baby for me when you get back home please.”

“I will.”

The call ends and Phoenix is frozen. Erik calls her while she’s sitting in the very spot he’d taken her when he needed to clear his mind. This use to be their spot. Her peace was broken then. Erik was everywhere. Even when he wasn’t there. She looked around and threw in the towel. Her time here was up. She finished her ice cream cone on her walk back to her car. She was ready to get back home to get her daughter.

---------------

The week had flown by. Phoenix was just sitting on Dr. McKee’s couch. She was just at the beach. But now, it was opening day for the Outreach Center. Phoenix couldn’t understand why she was feeling so nervous. She had this gut feeling that something was off. Her and Erik were good. She loved T’Challa, Shuri and Queen Mother and they all adored her. She wrecked her brain trying to come up with an answer.

Phoenix called her mom. She would understand and maybe help her with her feelings.

“Something just doesn’t feel right, Ma.” Phoenix props the phone up on her dresser while she gets Luna dressed.

“That’s your intuition, baby. If you feel like something ain’t right, it’s because something ain’t right.”

“But I don't know what it is. It’s driving insane.”

“The only way to find out is to go and face whatever it is.”

Phoenix finishes dressing Luna. She places her in her bouncer in front of the phone so that Luna can see her grandmother on FaceTime.

“Hey baby girl.” Phoenix’s mom dotes on the bouncing baby. “You’re looking more and more like your grandma everyday.”

Phoenix cuts her eye at the phone. “She looks like her dad.”

Phoenix catches her mom rolling her eyes.

“You can’t hate him forever, Ma. He’s going to be around for a long time.”

“I don’t hate him. I just think he’s stupid. Maybe if he pays for a round trip for me to go to Wakanda, I’ll forgive him.”

“Mom!”

“Those are my terms Phoenix and I ain’t changing them. Ain’t that right Lulu? Tell your stupid ass daddy to send me to Wakanda.”

“Alright Luna,” Phoenix picks Luna up, “Your grandma is on all bullshit today.”

“Hey! What your mouth around my grandbaby.”

In disbelief, Phoenix looks at the camera, “But you just said a bad word.”

“Ass isn’t a bad word.”

“Okay, ma. Whatever you say. We have to go so I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Alright. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

----------------

Phoenix was roaming the large, empty halls of the Outreach Center. She had been inside multiple times while dropping off Luna to Erik or picking her up. She had checked Erik’s office, looking for him but he was nowhere to be found. She was making her way back outside when she sees Shuri. 

“Shuri!” Phoenix stops her, “Have you seen Erik?”

“Philly! I’m so happy you’re here.” She pulls Phoenix into a tight hug. Phoenix embraces her back and their body’s rock. “I missed you. Hey Lulu.” Shuri adds pinching Luna’s chubby cheeks.

“I told you that you can over whenever.” Phoenix adjusts Luna on her hip. Luna was getting heavier every day.

Before Shuri could respond, she looks up and sees Erik walking straight toward them. “Oh there’s the little T-Rex.” She points in the direction of Erik.

When Phoenix turns around, Erik is walking with that famous dip. His dreads are back into a ponytail and he’s sporting a navy blue suit that’s tailored to perfection. He’s always had great style. The smile on Phoenix’s face slowly began to drop when she noticed the tall, curvy, well dressed woman walking alongside Erik. That uneasy feeling she felt when she was home crept up from her stomach and settled in her chest. She tried to control her breathing before it picked up. She wouldn’t allow herself to get worked up before knowing what was going on.

“There you are. Philly was looking for you.” Shuri says. She turns to Phoenix, “Come find me later. We have so much to catch up on.” Shuri walks off.

Phoenix isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do. She awkwardly stands there looking around to avoid looking at the woman standing next to Erik.

“Hey, Phoenix,” Erik grabs her attention and motions to the mystery woman. “This is Alicia. Alicia, this is Phoenix.”

Alicia sticks her hand out and shakes Phoenix’s hand. “Oh my goodness, you’re Phoenix? I’ve heard so much about you. Hey Lulu.” Alicia rubs her thumb on Luna’s arm.

Lulu? The only people who calls her Lulu are people who are close to her. It’s obvious that this woman has been around Luna a great deal.

“Oh…Hm. It’s nice to meet you.”

Her eyes bounce between Alicia and Erik a few times before they lock in with Erik’s. She can’t read him. These are not the same eyes he usually looks at her with. He licks his lips. This woman isn’t just a random woman that Erik decided to introduce to her. Something was up between the two of them.

Luna throws her body backwards trying to get to her dad. Erik scoops her up with one quick motion, taking her from Phoenix. He peppers kisses all over her cheeks before checking his watch. “We’re gonna miss the opening ceremony. We should get outside.”

“You guys go ahead.” Alicia says, “I have to use the lady’s room. I’ll catch up.”

“Okay. You know where to find me.” Erik says with a smirk. Alicia places a hand on his arm and walks off toward the restroom.

Erik and Phoenix began the journey outside to watch T’Challa give the opening ceremony speech. As they approached the big door that led out, Phoenix looked to Erik. “She seems nice.”

“She is.” Erik tries to bite back his smile.

“Good. You need someone nice.”

Erik stops walking. He was stunned by her words. How did she manage to put those pieces together? His words got caught and he struggled with a response. Phoenix picked up on his struggles.

“She called Luna, Lulu. That told me everything, Erik.”

He caught on. “I wanted to tell you before now, but I didn’t really know how.”

“It’s fine. As long as she makes you happy, there’s nothing to talk about. Things may not have worked out with us but I can see that you’re a better man. Someone should get to experience that.”

Phoenix doesn’t stick around to hear how he may react. She walks ahead leaving him and Luna and goes outside. Erik stood there processing her words. Alicia catches up to him. She could see that something had shaken him up.

“Erik, is everything okay?” her eyes searched him for any kind of answer. “Did something happen with Phoenix?”

He finally looks at her, “No, nothing happened. She just, uh, she thinks you’re nice.” A single dimple appearing.

A small smile forms on Alicia’s face. “So does this mean that I’m Phoenix approved?”

They laugh. He steps closer to her and plants a kiss on her lips. Alicia’s face goes red. “Not in front of Luna.” she plays.

Erik opens the door for them and they walk out just in time as T’Challa takes the stage.

As the day progressed, Erik was talking to so many people. He found himself explaining different parts of the Outreach Center over and over but he didn’t complain. Alicia stayed by his side, mingling while Luna bounced around between the two of them and Queen Mother. It wasn’t until T’Challa pulled Erik aside to ask where Phoenix was that Erik realized that he hadn’t seen her since their exchange. His eyes searched through the crowd hoping to see her somewhere. To his disappointment, she was nowhere to be found.

He texted her.

Erik: Hey, Philly. Where did you go?

Time passed and he never received a text back.

Phoenix’s thumbs hovered over her keyboard but she just couldn’t find it in her to say anything back. When Erik didn’t come outside for the ceremony right after her, she snuck out and left. Luna was in good hands and she just couldn’t stick around. She meant what she said. She really did see Erk for the better man that he had become. He was an amazing person and even more amazing father. It wouldn’t be fair for her to want him to not move on. Again, she reminded herself that this was best.

“Philly. Come get your glass.” Mica yelled from the kitchen.

When Phoenix got back home, she told Ava what had happened and Ava called Mica and Camren over for girl talk and wine. They were all between their third and fourth cups. Hours had gone by and Phoenix still couldn’t text Erik back. She just says “fuck it,” and tossed her phone on the couch and heads into the kitchen for her refill.

When Phoenix gets a hold of her assigned wine glass, she downs it in seconds. Her friends watch on in shock.

“Damn Philly, calm down.” Camren says.

“I’m grown, Camren. You don’t have to tell me how to drink some weak ass wine.”

Mica clutches her pearls. This isn’t like Phoenix at all.

“What’s wrong with you?” Ava asks. “Is this about Erik?”

Phoenix throws daggers at Ava with her heavy eyes. “Everything ain’t about Erik. I’m good.”

“You’re not acting good.” Mica adds.

Phoenix begins filling her glass up again. “Well since yall just know me so well, how am I acting if I’m not acting like I’m good?”

Ava snatches Phoenix’s glass. “You’re acting like you’re trying to drink your problems away.”

“I don’t have any problems to drink away. If I did, I’d be killing off something way stronger than wine.” she reaches for her glass but Ava pulls away.

“It’s obvious that this Erik shit is bothering you, sis.” Ava says.

Camren and Mica both nod in agreement.

Phoenix slams her hands down on the island counter. “Yo, fuck Erik. I don’t give a shit about what that man is doing. He’s moved on. He’s happy. I’m happy. Why are y’all holding on to this shit?”

“You’re holding on to it.” Ava yells. She’s fed up with Phoenix’s rudeness.

The gloss appearing over Phoenix’s eyes alerted her friends that she was struggling to hold back her tears. Ava reaches for her but Phoenix pulls away. She looks off at nothing when a few tears escape and flow down her cheeks. Her lips shake and she wraps her arms around herself.

“I don’t get why you’re torturing yourself. You clearly still love him.” Mica says.

“Yes!,” she aggressively wipes tears from her cheeks, “I still fucking love him, but this love ain’t mean shit. He doesn’t get to do this. He can’t just pop back up after all of this and have his life back like nothing happened.

“So,” Camren hesitates for a moment. “You’re punishing him?”

“I’m protecting myself.”

Ava steps closer to Phoenix in a nurturing way. “No, you are punishing him and yourself. Look at you. I hate what his stupid ass did just as much as you. But she’s right. We’re right. You're torturing yourself while trying to prove a point.”

“No I’m not!”

“You keep saying that he can’t do this.” Mica joins in again. “That he can’t just come back. But you can’t just pretend like you don’t care. It’s not fair to either of you.”

Phoenix doesn’t respond. She’s listening but she wishes that she wasn’t. They were right and she wishes they weren’t.

Camren breaks the silence. “We’re not trying to hurt your feelings Philly or piss you off in any way, but you can’t be hurt that he’s moving on when you’re the one that told him to.”

Mica interrupts, “So, either you can move on too or tell him how you really feel.”

The group of women notices Phoenix’s lack of responses. She’s in shut down mode. They didn’t want that but they couldn’t sit back and not tell their friend the truth about herself. Phoenix finally gets her hands on her abandoned glass of wine on the counter and downs it before silently walking away from her friends. She goes upstairs to her room. They give each other knowing looks. They would give her some time and they’ll go up to console her. Moments pass and they all suddenly hear the front door slam, scaring them. When the women rush to the door, they barely catch Phoenix just as she is nearing the end of the driveway.

Ava runs out toward the reversing car but Phoenix quickly shifts the car into drive and drives off.

“Fuck!” Ava yells. “We have to get Coby.”

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 138: Kevin Party

“Did you guys break up? Can seven-year-olds even do that?”

Remember Doug Out?

The 125th episode of Steven Universe is a small but very fun story about Steven Universe and Connie Maheswaran, two best friends who work as a team to solve a mystery. Steven is already a teenager, and if Connie isn’t thirteen yet she’s awful close (she’s twelve and three quarters on Steven’s midsummer birthday, and school has been in session since Mindful Education), but this feels like a pair of children on an adventure. They’re chaperoned by Connie’s dad, they wear silly disguises and use sillier aliases, and they outright say that their goal is to “ruin some teen’s night.”

Doug Out ends in a cliffhanger, which leads directly to Steven’s abduction, which leads directly to Steven’s journey to and escape from Homeworld, which leads directly to the Breakup Arc, which ends here. That’s fourteen consecutive episodes telling one long story, which happens to be the same number of episodes between Catch and Release kicks off Peridot’s conversion and Hit the Diamond ends our barn adventure. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Act II and Act III of Steven Universe have similar sweeping midpoint storylines: both see a radical change occur, and while our middle act’s is more obvious (two new Gems join our crew and Steven saves the dang planet), Act III has the more important development for Steven himself. Because at the beginning of its sweep, Steven and Connie are kids, and at the end, they’re teenagers.

Granted, I see anyone under the age of 25 as a “kid,” but Kevin Party is a distinctly adolescent episode. The Breakup Arc as a whole covers new ground that a typical kid’s show wouldn’t, and even the one episode without much angst for Steven is about a bunch of teens starting a band. But it’s a whole new step to set an episode at a high school party, complete with drinking (age-appropriate drinks, I’m sure) and no adult supervision. 

After five episodes watching Steven either stressing about Connie or working his way through his guilt, it’s wonderful and devastating that when we finally see her again, she's having a blast. Her new look is one thing, but her effortless mingling with strangers is my favorite thing about Kevin Party. This isn’t a new aspect of her personality. She’s probably been like this for a while. But it’s the first time we’re seeing it, because it’s the first time Steven is seeing it.

In Bubble Buddies, Connie started out so shy that she feared dying without making a single friend, while Steven was so gregarious that he couldn’t help befriending everyone he met. Now he’s the awkward one, reduced to asking the likes of Kevin for advice, and she’s bloomed out of that social anxiety. And it’s not just a matter of her friendship with Steven changing her, even though that’s a major inciting incident: after he helps her come out of her shell, she’s able to practice interacting with peers on a regular basis in a scenario that’s way more helpful in understanding normal human interactions than anything in Steven’s life, because Connie goes to school.

There’s an unstated and uncomfortable truth that Connie needs Steven to have access to his magical world, creating an uneven power dynamic that’s easy to ignore because it fits into the general role of how a main character and side character work on a show like this. But Kevin Party‘s biggest reveal is that just because she needs him if she wants to have cosmic adventures, she doesn’t need him to have a fulfilling life, and she doesn’t need his friendship to be happy.

Thank. Goodness.

Codependency isn’t something to aspire to, and while Steven isn’t intentionally possessive of Connie (yet), their fight boils down to him treating her like a sidekick, someone who gets to do magic stuff with him under his terms. We don’t get to see what she was up to during the Breakup Arc, but I’m so glad her laughter here isn’t performative. She has enough self-worth to not define herself by the boy she likes or the adventures they share, and even if she’s upset that they’re in a fight, we know from our first look at her that she’d be okay if they never ended up reconciling. And that makes her choice to reconcile so much stronger than just shoving them back together because they’ve been apart long enough and the status quo demands it. She doesn’t need Steven in her life, but she wants him in her life, and that’s the difference between an episode about Connie remaining a sidekick in Steven’s mind and an episode about Connie establishing herself as an equal.

Steven and Connie’s affection has always bounced between platonic and romantic, and I love that even now we keep it ambiguous. Steven wears the shirt Connie got him in Steven’s Birthday, which is a gesture of friendship but occurs in an episode that dances around their mutual crush (complete with actual dancing). The moment of seeing each other again is shot like running into an ex, with time slowing down to let the absolute horror set in as the rest of the party fades, but Steven still refers to her only as his best friend. Kevin makes some of the subtext text through his confusion over the status of their relationship, but even if they’re teens now, these two are still young enough that don’t know how to express their deeper feelings.

Sadie Killer gets our guard down just long enough that Kevin Party’s new surge of drama hits like a truck: this is the original show’s most direct predecessor to the tone of Steven Universe Future’s latter half, where the anguish of watching Steven flounder in his relationship with Connie comes to a head. He makes the same mistake here that he’ll make in Together Forever: he’s so desperate for advice that he doesn’t question its source. Which is doubly frustrating because Greg Universe, who has told several stories on-screen about navigating a new relationship, is just a phone call away! I’m not saying I wish Steven actually called him, because all teens make mistakes and there’s any number of reasons he wouldn’t want to ask his dad in the moment, but it speaks to Steven’s inability to think straight when it comes to Connie.

In his final appearance, Kevin shows the closest thing he’s got to depth by helping Steven the only way he knows how. And unlike Beach City Drift, where he makes up a tragic backstory just to be a troll, it’s clear that the mysterious Sabine did a number on Delmarva’s biggest jerk. But I’ve got no patience for the notion that this episode is anything near redemptive for a guy whose idea of being helpful involves emotionally manipulating a vulnerable fourteen-year-old boy into emotionally manipulating a vulnerable thirteen-year-old girl.

Here more than ever, Kevin contrasts Steven’s self-destructive selflessness by being a black hole of self-importance. He only cares about Steven inasmuch as Steven can help him be more popular, not even bothering to ask for his name until it serves his needs. He’s so oblivious to his surroundings that he confuses Lion for a dog (saying that he’s allergic to dogs is a somewhat funny joke, but talking up Connie’s new life by saying she has a dog now is hilarious), and goes out of his way to antagonize his guests. To Steven, other people exist to be helped, which has noble roots but is catastrophic for his self-image. To Kevin, other people exist to admire Kevin.

“Psychopath” is a strong word, and I don’t wanna exaggerate Kevin’s villainy because that takes away from what makes him so insidious: unlike the Final Boss feel of the Diamonds, there’s an abundance of regular people who do the same awful stuff that Kevin does, and acting like he’s some extreme case detracts from the mundanity of everyday evils. Moreover, I remain unqualified to be an armchair psychologist, and the Hare Psychopathy Checklist has plenty of valid criticism, so take any diagnosis using it (or really any psych profile that involves a checklist you can do from home) with a grain of salt. But with all that said, I’ll just leave a link to it right here and let y’all do what you will with it.

The Big Talk gets five and a half episodes of buildup, and it doesn’t disappoint. It’s so perfect that Connie’s reaction to negging is to do what she always does when she sees someone behaving badly: she gets mad and calls it out. Steven’s typical approach to unkind behavior is to double down on his friendliness, but Connie will always put her foot down and demand kindness, whether you’re her best friend or a galactic tyrant. New hair aside, Connie isn’t the one that changes over the course of the Breakup Arc: it begins with her making it clear that she’s hurt while Steven ignores her, and it ends with her making it clear that she’s hurt while Steven listens.

I love that Connie requires no prompting to explain why she didn’t text Steven back, because Full Disclosure shows that she understands how much it hurts to try and connect with a friend who won’t respond. I love that she did go back to talk with him in person while he was on vacation (meaning all of this could’ve been worked through way sooner) because adolescence is suffering and we needed one last little twist of the knife in this arc. And I love that Steven is wise enough to just admit what he did instead of try and defend himself, because their whole fight hinged on his refusal to acknowledge the gravity of his actions, both to Connie and to himself. He doesn’t say the word “sorry” until the very end of his admission, because he means it and wants to provide context for the apology rather than just say “I’m sorry” a bunch.

And it’s so perfect that they don’t end up forming Stevonnie during their reconciliation, and not just because that would’ve given Kevin a win. They make up, but it still takes time to let the lingering pain go away, and it makes Stevonnie’s reappearance in our next episode way more meaningful. After one last display of their fundamental contrast—Steven expresses sympathy for Kevin’s situation with Sabine, while Connie shrugs it off because having a backstory doesn’t mean it’s okay to be a toxic douche—they leave the world of teen parties behind, at least for now. They’ll go back to more adventures right away, traveling to space in Lars of the Stars and Jungle Moon, but they’ll never truly be the same.

Thank goodness.

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

I love that Stevonnie’s disdain for Kevin is here for us even when Stevonnie doesn’t show up in the episode.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It’s not just the catharsis factor that gets this in my Top 25. Kevin Party is incredible at capturing the dread I associate with this type of teen party as someone who often felt like Steven as a kid (three traits that don’t work well with teen parties, even if like me you were a fairly social teenager: clinical depression, teetotalism due to the double whammy of that depression and family history of addiction, and having a bad ear that makes it impossible to hear people talk when the music gets loud enough). Beyond the personal connection, we also get one last look at the show’s greatest villain, and an episode that respects Connie so much more than a normal cartoon would. This is how you end an arc, folks.

Top Twenty-Five

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Back to the Kindergarten

Steven’s Dream

Kevin Party

When It Rains

The Good Lars

Lars’s Head

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Room for Ruby

Lion 4: Alternate Ending

Doug Out

Are You My Dad?

I Am My Mom

Stuck Together

The Trial

Off Colors

Gemcation

Raising the Barn

Sadie Killer

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Dewey Wins

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

Tiger Philanthropist

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

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[monochromemedic]

“Get the hell away from me you freak-” the man’s exclamation was cut short as a wet force shot into his legs, his body slamming against the pavement with a loud thud. A direct slime bullet shot, and the last of the gang was contained within their gooey prisons. I sighed in relief, lowering my arm. ‘I should quip, that’s what all the good heroes do right?’ “You kiss your mother with that mouth?” I said softly before realizing that no one, not even the gathering crowd could hear that. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?!” I repeated before realizing how weak that was. Baby steps... just needed to not show my face around here for a week so they’d all forget how much I fucked up. I rubbed my neck, fingers gliding along the cryo collar as it released a blast of cold air, waves of relief flooding my body. The crowd erupted in clapping, something that startled me back to the situation at hand. A small rising gang had been causing havoc over the city, something larger heroes would only keep their eyes on before attempting to resolve. They were there to help with big tasks, real villains or aliens, something that would cause real devastation. It made sense but that didn’t mean that some real low lives could sneak under the radar and cause some damage as long as they spaced what they were doing enough or kept it the damage to a minimum.  The Graveyard Gang was playing with that line and it was obvious that if it wasn’t stopped some hero would have to come down and take them out themselves. If not for me. I raised a hand sheepishly, waddling to the side of the street to meet the crowd that formed around me. “Hey... hello. Did someone call the police already? Is everyone ok?” My words were met by the sound of sirens drawing near, a large news van trailing not too far behind. A frantic woman nearly rolled out of the van, mic at the ready as she bolted through the crowd, ushering a small man lugging a camera to follow her. “Hi, hello, out of the way, Channel 9 news. Hi, I’m Sandra Stevens of Channel 9 news would you mind giving an interview about the heroic deed you just committed?”  Her words were fast and rehearsed, like she had either done this a million times or dreamt about doing it so much, the words burned into her brain. Her mic was pushed into my face, knocking against my chin and drawing a thin strand of goo onto the mic. The woman didn’t seem to notice however, her eyes laser focused on me. “I... I su-sure. I’m just not very good on camera-” “Don’t worry honey, editors make everyone look good. Cameron! Start rolling, everyone please clear the place we need a nice shot of...what do you call yourself, Miss?” “G...Grey Matter.” “Grey.” she repeated, a eyebrow raised in silent judgement. “Well Grey Matter, hope you’re ready for your 5 minutes of fame because we’re rolling.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My fingers ran across the laptop keys, restarting the video again for the 11th time in a row. I couldn’t stop, my first interview, my first well known appearance as a hero. And the interview was... terrible. The comments didn’t say that but I couldn’t help but notice how nervous I looked, how much I stared into the camera at times, the way I showed my powers and how one guy said it was like a bad hentai. I knew that but god when others said that made everything feel ten times worse. However other commenters were nice, saying how cool I looked, how good it was to see another hero on the streets, taking care of baddies that the others didn’t get. I felt like my ego was a metronome switching from feeling like a god to feeling like a dumbass. I readied my finger to press the replay button as the video neared the end when a knock came to my door. Strange, I didn’t expect anyone, and not many people knew where I lived. Maybe it was a neighbor coming to congratulate me? Not like I could easily disguise myself and not many other people had the consistency of tar. I slid my pants on and walked to the door, opening it to a face almost 3 inches away from  mine. “Hello-” I jumped back, arms raising and balling like huge slings, ready to attack only for them to deflate and fall to my waist as I realized who it was. “You really do stretch! It’s like you’re one big sticky hand toy. Neat, Neat...” Plastic Man commented, his neck extended to look at me further. “Mind if I come in? I’d like to talk.” “I... Y-yes of course Mr... Mr. Plastic Man I... Um.” I could feel myself beginning to melt as I went to close the door behind him, gesturing to my messy house before him. He towered over everything easily, walking past my fridge and ducking to get into my living room to observe more of the house, making eye contact with the laptop. He smiled widely to himself before shifting his eyes back at me. “Please, Mr. Plastic Man was my father, just call me Plas. And I assume you know about me from the way your fangirling?” “I... yes of course you’re an inspiration to me ever since I became like this. The way you quickly maneuver and creatively problem solve with an air of ease is inspiring. Not to mention the way your so cheerful with the public, it puts alot of people at ease, I...starting researching you because we have such similar powers.. not in a weird way just, how you do things.” I rambled trying to literally hold myself together as I felt my body begin to dribble to the floor. “I’m sorry can you excuse me-” “Go ahead, you need... help there?” He asked as I sped past him to my room, grabbing the collar and placing it around my neck. In an instant it came to life, a release of cold air wafting over my body. I returned to the living room, head craning to look at the tall hero. “No thank you, I’m alright. Sometimes when I get nervous or overheated I start to lose my form. The cold from the collar helps me keep me together.” He lowered his head, neck stretching once again to look closer at the device. “I get that, hell sometimes on summer days I gotta put myself in a freezer and become a Plas Pop or else I nearly melt down the storm drain. That’s just another thing we have in common I guess. And that’s what I came here to talk to you about.” I swallowed hard, his hand gesturing to the opened interview on the laptop. “Everyone’s been talking about the girl who took down the Graveyard Gang and word gets around fast.  So fast that even I got word of it almost as soon as it aired. Boy was I surprised when I saw you on camera, showing of a little of what you could do. Another stretcher like me! And one who’s new to the game, a fresh face. It got me thinking.” He paused, crossing his arms as he glanced towards the ground. “Things have been quite in the League, least for ol’ Plas. Much as I love my job and helping the universe, seems like I’m always backup number 54 on the list of who to call when the world’s gonna end. Which isn’t bad but it leaves a guy with alot of time on his rubber hands. So I was thinking maybe I should give the whole mentor thing a shot, take someone under my wing. Just haven’t got the chance to meet someone I could actually teach anything to, till I saw your little stunt. So what do you say? Willing to make what the Batman described as ‘A horrible decision that no one would agree to’?” This was crazy. A proposal like this? And so soon? Learning under one of the League, one of the bests? “Yes, I’d be honored to be mentored by you Plastic Man- er... P-plas. I hope I don’t disappoint you, um... you know I can’t shapeshift like you right. I can’t turn into lions or trucks... I... I can’t do alot of those things actually, just basic stretching and modifications.” “Hm? Oh well that’s ok, besides I didn’t expect you to be exactly like me, that’d just be crazy thoughts. Also that’d make you my son, and that’s just weird. You got something else that I don’t have, you got that goo shot. I can’t shoot bullets of myself at people and you said you can set up traps and knock people out in a hail of slime. That’s kick ass, we just gotta embrace that side of you and you’ll be up there with Superman at the table, talking about what multiverse crisis was your favorite.” He grinned, lowering himself to my level and wrapping an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close against his body. I felt my face grow warm as I looked away from him, my chest pounding despite the lack of heart in my breast. Now he was touching me? Telling me how cool I was? I felt myself begin to drip again, knees beginning to buckle. “Y-you really think so?” “I know so. You got spunk kid, we just gotta polish you up and you’ll be golden, Pony Boy.” The force of his palm hitting my back sent me jolting forward, his shadow looming over me. “How about you meet me outside of your place, tomorrow. 1pm. We’ll assess your abilities and work from there. Sound good? Too bad, crime never waits. I’ll see you there.” And with surprising grace he dipped out of my apartment, leaving me like it was just a frantic dream. If it wasn’t for the sting from his palm I’d assume I was merely daydreaming, but it was real. Plastic Man and me, working together. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Come on, haven’t you ever seen Spider-Man. Leap of faith!”  “I don’t know if you’re legally allowed to reference that...” I muttered, eyeing the large gap between buildings before staring back at Plas. “I haven’t really done much uh... traversal practice. What if I fall and hit the ground I... I mean I don’t think I can die like that but-” “I won’t let you fall, I promise you. I’d be a real bad trainer if the first person I mentored became a permanent stain on 4th street. You got this!”  Plastic Man grinned widely, flashing a thumbs up and stepping back. His words echoed in my head, as I stepped back a few feet, already making my plan as I dragged a line of slick slime in front of me.  ‘I’ll run forward, using the slime to propel me even further to close the gap. Then when I get as far as I can, I’ll stretch my arms out, attach to the building and slingshot my way up to the roof.’ I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, waiting until every last bit of air left my lungs.  And then I ran. My feet slid against the slime trail like a skater on the ice as I raced towards the edge. Before I could even attempt to jump, I hit the edge, my body fling more downward then I expected. I felt the air leave my lungs, my head snapping up towards the roof top I was aiming for and snapped my arm forward, splatting against the brick a few feet down. Damn it, Damn it, I got this. I got this. I felt the tension build in my arms, threatening to snap under the pressure. Just when I thought it was going to be too much, it released. And I found myself ascending just as fast I was falling. Up against the building. A wave of pain shot through my body as I was bashed against the wall, slowly feeling the way my body spread and slowly began to peel away from the window. Just as I felt the last few strand of myself start to detach, I felt a warmth wrap around my body, lifting me up to the roof of the building. “Hey you good? I never saw anyone but me rubber band that hard into a building before.” I tried to nod my head, wheezing and groaning as I laid on my back, staring up at the titan of a man before me. “I’m ok... just the wind got knocked out.” “Mm, yeah I’m not surprised. I mean if anything I guess we found out that a fall from here would be a-ok. Painful but... if you can survive going mach one into a building a fall should be no sweat.” He stretched his arms and sat down beside me, hands forming something just out of my range of vision to mess with. “Take your time, and we can try again. Maybe something with less of a gap to fall down.” I closed my eyes, a sickening knot forming in my stomach. I fucked up the jump, and fucked it up bad. Was he disappointed? Rethinking his decision to choose me? He had been teaching me for 2 weeks now, and I couldn’t help but think that I wasn’t enough by the way he’d sometimes look away, seem upset, maybe wanting to be anywhere else but here. My body slumped forward, lingering pain in my core. “Plastic Man?” His head cocked to the side, eyes unidentifiable behind his goggles. But I couldn’t bring myself to ask him what he thought of me. The words caught in my throat, my fear too great to hear the truth. I didn’t want to seem too pitiful, too... “I’ll try better next time.” “That’s what I like to hear.” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “GM what were you thinking?! You know you can’t handle that kinda heat, why did you head into a burning building?! No one was in there! Everyone was safe!” I ducked my head away from Plas’ rage, watching the soot swirl around the remains of my arm. I was hurt bad, nearly melted and burned in a raging fire me and Plas tried to contain. But I was careless, eager to please a man I thought was losing interest in me. Despite the fact the building was clear I thought if I could help put out the fire before the firefighters came he would praise my boldness. But I only ended up making a fool of myself, having to had Plas rush into the building and collect me himself. He didn’t fair well himself, parts of him still goopy from harsh heat damage. “Look at me when I’m talking to you! Why did you do that.” His eyes were angry, his usual smile twisted into a disappointed frown. “I wanted to impress you-” “Impress me?! Yeah your new power to turn into a corpse was real freaking impressive Jenna. Why the hell are you trying to impress me like that-” “Because I don’t think I’m good enough to be taught by you!” I exclaimed, shocked by how I raised my voice at him. “I... I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to... I just... I feel like ever since you started to mentor me I haven’t been good enough. I’ve always been messing up and-and I feel like if I don’t do anything to impress you, you’ll just abandon me and I’ll fuck up the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I-I look up to you so much, and I feel like it’s such a privilege that you chose me I... I feel like it’s a mistake. And so I’m just waiting for you to realize that and I feel like you’re catching on so I had to do something to make sure that you didn’t fuck up with your choice.” Plas’ face immediately dropped, a look of concern replacing his scold. “Christ... I gave you Imposter Syndrome. Is this what the other people with sidekicks have to deal with... Woozy was never like this. Er...well, no he was he just didn’t have powers.” He bit his bottom lip, and sighed, inching to take a seat beside me. “I’m not good at this teaching stuff, I don’t know if you noticed. So if I made you feel like you weren’t impressing me, I swear it isn’t true. I remember when I was first getting the hang of being a hero. I was dog shit. The amount of times I did somethings stupid or tried to impress others without knowing what I was doing myself, god... and when I was part of the league? The first month was a hell, I didn’t get anything done. I still mess up, I just make it seem like I don’t cause I play it off. We all screw up, even Superman. I would know, I was there for a couple of those times, etched em right into my head.” He glanced away, tapping the side of his head where the words ‘Pantsing Incident of 05’ appeared.  “Point is we all started somewhere and we were all ass at it. You think Flash got the hang of dodging every car while he ran down the road? No, it was just that no one remembers those times cause he’s  too busy kicking ass now adays that no one cares that one time he ate asphalt. No one accept me who uses it to blackmail him occasionally because I’m petty and like to knock him down a peg every once in a while. You’re doing great.” I could feel the tears dripping down my face as he spoke, using my palm to desperately hide my emotions from him. His arm wrapped around my shoulder in a cautious, yet caring touch. “Can we just not... run into burning buildings next time we’re trying to prove something? I might not be able to get you out next time.” “Yeah, of course sir. Thank you, for believing in me, after I did that, and that you believed me in the first place.”

[spinelwritings]

Spinel with an s/o who has amnesia

I got a bit carried away with this one, so it’s pretty long. You might want to skip it if you’re uncomfortable with descriptions of car crashes and hospitals, but there isn’t anything too graphic. 

I hope you enjoy!

-----------------------------------

Some gems said that, in moments of tragedy, everything slows down, every detail noticeable, and they’re able to act in an instant. Maybe it was because she wasn’t a warrior or soldier, but that hasn’t been Spinel’s experience. For her, everything seemed to happen in an instant. It only took an instant for Pink Diamond to leave her in that garden, only an instant of realization, an instant of anger and an instant of action. So it made sense that, when the time came, it would take only an instant for her to lose everything.

They were in the car when it happened, going home after having dinner at a restaurant Y/N wanted to try out. She was singing softly to the music that played over the radio. Spinel had her eyes closed, listening to her partner’s soft voice. It always managed to calm her down no matter how wound up she was. It was moments like this that she cherished the most.

Then, in an instant, it was gone. 

Everything seemed to shake. It was like the whole world shifted to the left. Panic flooded through her system and she reached for Y/N

Then she was reforming. 

“Y/N!”

She froze, panic bubbling up once again as she looked over the devastation. The car was nothing now but a pile of metal. Everything was covered in a layer of broken glass, looking like glitter and stars in the bright moonlight. There was another car farther away along the road, it’s front crumpled. A man was standing next to it, looking slightly dazed and surprised. But she didn’t care about him, didn’t even give him a second glass, because for one terrifying moment she couldn’t find Y/N, oh stars, she couldn’t find her!

She felt no sense of relief when she did find the human. 

She spotted her lying motionless on the side of the road, looking so incredibly broken. It felt like Spinel’s gem was about to shatter, each moment that passed cracking her just a little more. No. No no no. Non no no no no no no non on no non…

She rushed to the human’s side, looking her over, absolutely horrified. Oh stars, there was so much blood, there shouldn’t be that much blood. Her arm was bent in the wrong places, little cuts and bruises covered her skin, a dark ugly bruise covered almost half of her face, and she could see where some larger shards of glass had embedded themselves into her, what looked like a particularly large one forced deep into her side.

Her hands shook as she gently, ever so gently, lifted the broken human into her arms, hot tears streaming down her face. She desperately searched for any sign of life, a heartbeat, a breath, anything! She sobbed when she felt a heartbeat flutter in her chest. She gently held her close to her chest, head tucked below her chin and close to her gem. She slowly rocked back and forth, mind racing.

Y/N was alive, but for how long? What was she supposed to do now? She needed to fix this, she needed to fix her. She couldn’t die, she couldn’t! They were supposed to have a lifetime together! She wasn’t ready! But what was she supposed to do? It felt like her mind was running in circles and she was frozen in place, stuck sobbing over the broken body, unable to help.

It felt like an eternity had passed by the time she heard the alarms, quiet at first but steadily getting louder, louder, piercing through the fog in her mind. There were flashing lights, bouncing off the glittering glass, almost blinding in the night. Several different vehicles pulled up to the wreck, humans flooding out, rushing about. All the gem could do was blink numbly, watching as several humans came over to her and Y/N. She couldn’t process anything they were saying to her, but after some time she understood that they were there to help. She hesitantly let them take Y/N away, feeling like her gem was cracking. She watched them fuss over her, doing all sorts of different things she didn’t understand. She decided to just focus on Y/N’s face, clinging helplessly to her hand. 

She was going to be okay. She had to be okay.

It was when they were headed towards the hospital that her mind finally unstuck itself and she took out her phone.

-------------------------------------------------------------

It was late when Steven’s phone rang, shattering the silence of his bedroom and forcing him away from a pleasant dream. He struggled to shake off sleep and will his arm to move. By the time he finally managed to roll over and grab blindly for his phone, it had stopped ringing. He groaned as the bright light hit his face, blinking at the screen till his eyes adjusted. 

He frowned, looking at the list of missed calls, all from Spinel. He sat up, worry clawing at his throat. Spinel almost never called, but as he scrolled through he saw that she had called almost thirty times in the last half hour. 

He was out of his bed in an instant, shoving his jacket on one-armed as he called back. He was running down the stairs and calling for Lion when Spinel picked up.

“S-Steven?”

Her voice was shaky and broken like she had been crying and he had no doubt that was exactly what she was doing.

“Spinel! Are you okay? Where are you? I’m on my way.”

The gem was struggling to speak, words broken by pained sounds and sobs.

“I … I’m … h-hospital.”

“Got it, I’ll be just a few seconds, meet me out front, okay?”

He didn’t get an answer. Spinel just hung up.

Thankfully, Lion wasn’t too far away and with his warp ability, it took only seconds to get to the hospital. He rushed in, looking this way and that for any sign of the pink gem through the crowd of the lobby. He spotted her as she ran in through some hallway and his heart dropped. 

She looked different. Her form had changed. Her pigtails had been replaced with a single ponytail and her clothes were a lot more human-like. What startled him the most was the patches of what looked like blood. 

She didn’t say anything when she saw him, just grabbed his arm and pulled him along, running faster than any human ever could. They stopped outside a room in the ICU and Steven gasped at the sight.

It was Y/N, looking absolutely dreadful. There were so many wires and bandages, nurses hovering over her. Her face looked blank, covered by the oxygen mask and a dark purple and blue bruise. If it wasn’t for the heart monitor that beeped irregularly, he would have thought she was dead.

Spinel looked at him expectantly, desperation and worry clear on her face, eyes rimmed red from crying, tears still threatening to spill.

“Please …”

Her voice was soft, tired, and broken, and Steven knew exactly what she meant. 

He walked to the bed, trying not to get in the nurses’ way, and gave Y/N a kiss on her forehead. Spinel was by his side in an instant, watching the human closely and holding her hand tight as Steven’s healing ability did its work.  The relief that washed over the gem was overwhelming and she couldn’t stop the tears that washed down her face once more. In only moments the human’s heart settled and the bruises faded. 

The nurses were amazed at the sudden change, but that mattered little to Spinel. She ignored them even as they rushed around the bed checking this and that. All she wanted was to see those beautiful eyes again, nothing else mattered. It didn’t take long before her wish was granted. Slowly, Y/N blinked her eyes open and Spinel felt like she was going to collapse from the relief and emotional exhaustion. 

“Oh thank goodness…” she muttered, beaming down at Y/N. “I was so worried I’d lost you.”

She blinked up at the gem but didn’t say anything. Even as the nurses fussed, she kept her eyes locked on the gem’s own pink ones. It was only after the nurses left that she even bothered to look around the room, no longer held down by countless wires. She looked confused, lost.

“Wha-what happened?”

“I could ask the same thing.” Steven said, looking at Spinel pointedly.

“We got in a car crash. Some jerk ran into us with his truck.”

Steven winced and nodded. 

“Yeah, that would do it.”

Spinel sighed and smiled softly at Y/N. 

“I’m just glad we managed to make it out okay.”

But Y/N still looked confused. Spinel frowned.

“Are you okay, hun? Does it still hurt anywhere?”

She shook her head.

“No, nothing hurts.”

But something was clearly wrong. Tears started welling up in her eyes and when Spinel tried to wrap her up and comfort her she all but shoved the gem away.

“I’m sorry,” she said, starting to shake as the beginnings of a panic attack gripped her. “I’m so sorry. I don’t remember. I don’t remember anything.”

----------------------------------------

It took longer than usual to calm her down. Spinel felt so helpless. She couldn’t wrap the human up and ground her and she barely responded to her words at all. She did eventually calm down, thankfully.

But that was only a small thing compared to what they had to handle next.

“Can you tell me what you remember?” Spinel asked, doing everything she could think of to stay calm. She needed to be there for Y/N right now, not break down as she might once have done. 

Y/N shook her head, still distressed. 

“I don’t know, it’s all really foggy. I think I remember being in college?”

Spinel nodded.

“Okay doll, do you rememba’ your graduation?”

She thought for a moment, then nodded slowly. 

“Yeah, I remember that. I had a fight with my parents after the ceremony. I was planning to move away.”

“Do you rememba’ where you ended up going?”

She thought again, this time for a lot longer before shaking her head.

“No…”

They decided to get the doctor to look her over, but no cause was found. The best guess they were given was head trauma. There was nothing they could do.

Spinel refused to leave till visiting hours were over. The doctor wanted to keep an eye on Y/N, so she was forced to stay the night alone, which did not sit well with the gem. It had been a while since they spent the night apart.

They managed to get through the labrynth-like halls and into a waiting room before Spinel suddenly stopped, leaning heavily against one of the chairs. 

“Spinel, are you okay?”

She shook her head weekly, almost collapsing into the chair. She was crying, trying to suppress the sobs that bubbled in her chest. Steven sat next to her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll find a way to work through this somehow. It’s still Y/N.”

Spinel shook her head, arms wrapping around herself, trying to keep herself together. It did little to stop the strangled sob that escaped her lips. Steven gave her a tight hug, one she couldn’t bring herself to return.

“I’m sorry, it’s just…” She shook her head again, arms tightening around her body. It felt like she was about to explode.

“It feels like I’ve lost her…”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Spinel was determined to get Y/N’s memories back, one way or another. 

They went home to their small apartment. Spinel hoped that something there might jog her memory. She watched eagerly as the human looked around, taking in everything.

“So, this is where I live now?”

“Sure are. You told me you liked it ‘cause it’s close to the beach and rent’s really cheap.”

She nodded, starting to wander through the apartment. 

“It’s so cozy here.”

But she didn’t remember anything. So Spinel took her out and showed her around the town. Maybe something there would jog her memory?

Y/N loved the town, but Spinel already knew she would. Still, it was kind of adorable. She just got so excited about everything!

“It’s so cute! I love it!” She squealed as they walked down the Boardwalk.

“Ya know, we would come here all the time.” Spinel said, a sad smile on her face as she remembered all the nights they spent walking and talking. “You liked it most at night cause of all the lights.”

She looked at the gem with a familiar sparkle in her eyes, smile wide.

“We’ll have to come back later then.”

Yes, maybe that would help more. But until then …

“Let’s go to the arcade.”

“They have an arcade!!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

It was a long and busy day, to say the least. Spinel pulled Y/N around everywhere, from one side of town to the other, but nothing seemed to work. 

They ended up on Lighthouse Hill, watching the sunset. Y/N marveled at the sight, admiring the colors and how the light reflected off of the ocean. Spinel didn’t see any of it. She was too caught up in her own mind. What else might work? How was she going to get her memories back?

The gem jumped when a hand touched her shoulder.

“Hey, you doing okay?”

Spinel forced a smile and shrugged her off.

“Nothin’s wrong doll, don’t worry about it.”

But Y/N was hit with just how wrong her smile looked. She didn’t know how she knew, she never was all that good at judging people’s emotions, but she still somehow knew. She frowned at the gem. 

“Just tell me.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” She insisted, but her smile was even more forced than before. Y/N stared her down till she finally broke and let out a long sigh.

“Alright, alright…” she said, deflating slightly, shoulders drooping. “Ya got me. Ya always was good at that.”

Y/N scooted closer to the gem and waited

“I’m just worried, I think. I’m worried you’ll never get your memories back and … I’ll be alone again.”

Y/N hummed, thinking over what she said.

“Well, I’m not sure whether or not I ever will get my memories back, but I’m not sure it really matters if I do. Don’t get me wrong, it’s all very confusing and there’s just so much about myself I’ve gotta learn now, but … At the very least, I can trust my own decisions.”

Spinel couldn’t bring herself to look at the human. She felt a gentle hand on her cheek, forcing her to look into the other’s eyes and she felt like she was melting under the warmth of her gaze.

“I can see why I fell in love with you.”

Oh stars, she was going to cry. Spinel felt so warm and light like she might float away if Y/N ever let her go. 

Spinel leaned in close and kissed her, wrapping her in her arms tightly. She could feel the human relax into her touch, kissing her back. They giggled together and traded kisses, content to sit in each others arms.

Spinel decided that maybe they could make some new memories. Maybe that would be enough.

[loveisblindfanfictionbka]

Love Is Blind: Chapter Five

Chris grabbed a large box from his postmaster and placed it into the back seat of his truck. 

“Daddy, what’s that?” Anesa asked.

“Not sure yet. I wasn’t expecting anything in the mail.”

“Oh. Are we gonna get our puppy today?”

“No, we’ll gonna get one on Friday. The only place that has the dog you want is in the city so we’ll go after my afternoon class.”

“Friday? That’s so many days away, Daddy.”

“I know Love Bug but we’re not going into the city until next week so you’ll have to wait.”

“But Daddy.”

“Anesa, we’re not having this conversation. You’ve waited all this time for a puppy, you can wait a few more days, ok?”

“Yes Daddy.”

“Good. So what do you want for lunch?”

“Cheese sticks and french fries.”

“You gonna turn into a cheese stick; you keep eating them so much, “ Chris replied with a chuckle as he pulled out of the post office parking lot.

Chris went into his office as Anesa plopped down in front of the TV. He grabbed the box and set it on top of the coffee table then sat down on the couch in front of it. He carefully slit open the top and smiled at the note “You indulged one of my hidden passions, why not indulge yours? Hope you like it (wink).” Chris dug into the box and pulled out a luxury model train set then a collection of various Jazz compilations on vinyl.

“Wow….this woman went all out,” he murmured to himself. He grabbed his phone and took a picture of the gifts before sending it as an attachment through the dating chat. A few minutes passed before he got a response

A: I was wondering if it got there in time

C: This is incredible and way more than what I got you

A: Actually it’s even steven. I looked up how much those poetry collections cost by the way

C: Totally not the same

A: It’s exactly the same.

C: Thank you, Anna

A: You are definitely welcome. So did you get the puppy?

C: We are picking him up on Friday

A: Cool. What did you get?

C; A maltipoo

A: Oh.

C: He is a shelter dog. It sounded like that was something important to you

A: That’s awesome

C; So what are you up to?

A: Nothing. Trying to decide what I’m gonna do for the upcoming two weeks

C: Something new happening?

A: It is my annual office ban.

C: Office ban?

A: My friends and employees got together a few years ago and decided the only way to force me to take time off was to ban me from the office. So they literally take my keys and ban me from coming into work

C: Lol Wow. Are you really a workaholic like that?

A: I like being busy and they hate it

C: Are you busy because you really like your job or you’re hiding?

A: Depends on the day

C: Ah. Do you only take off during this annual ban?

A: Yes

C: Maybe if you got out more, they’d get off your back

A: that’s possible. How was work?

C: I canceled classes today

A: Why?

C: Spring Break starts this week. I usually do classes remotely during the week prior to Spring Break to give my students a longer break but I do keep my office hours so I’ll be on campus Friday, that’s why we’re waiting to get the dog then

A: What do you usually do during a break?

C: Well with the new pet, we’ll probably be getting accustomed to the house but usually we go and visit my sister so Anesa can play with her cousins and such.

A: Does your sister live in NY?

C: Yea, she’s a little further upstate, towards Albany

A: How many additional hours of driving?

C: About another 2 or 3 hours

A: Oh that’s not too bad.

C: Yea. You sound surprised.

A: I was expecting something like away from home vacation

C: I have one scheduled for her birthday in the summer so we’re playing it lowkey for right now

A: Ah, that sounds awesome

C: Why don’t you go on a vacation?

A: I don’t know where I would go. It’s not like I really wanna be around people

C: You could always rent a villa or something and just relax alone

A: That’s true. Any recommendations?

C: Depends on your taste. In the states or another country? Busy or remote? A lot of adventure or quiet activities?

A: Another country. Remote. Quiet.

C: Cannes is nice this time of year especially on the outskirts of the town

A: Cannes, France?’

C: Yea. Is that a problem?

A: No, I’ve always wanted to go there but I never made it

C: Really? I went the year before I got Anesa. Sort of a soul-searching thing

A: How was it?

C: It was beautiful. A nice mix of people and solitude.

A: I might think about it then

C: It is a nice spot for a European vacation

A: Sounds like it. Thanks for the suggestion

C: Not a problem. I can forward you a link to some vacation rentals if you would like

A: That'd be great.

They fell silent for a few moments before Chris started typing again

C: Can I tell you something?

A: Sure.

C: This the closest I’ve ever felt to someone in the last few years. I really appreciate your company

A: That is really sweet, Chris. I appreciate yours as well. It feels good to talk to someone and not feel like I’m crazy or having them think I’m depressed

C: I know the feeling. Sometimes we just have to take our time to get back to where we used to be

A: I don’t think I ever wanna go back to where I used to be

C: You might have to, to get to where you wanna be. Healing has to start at the source

A: And next you’re gonna say that healing hurts

C: It can especially if you have to face some truths that you don’t want to face

A: I guess that’s true.

C: You should really give some deep thought about speaking to your ex or at least to a therapist to get the feelings out. You deserve to be angry and you deserve to be angry at him. Holding it in doesn’t make you as noble as you think.

A: I don’t believe I’m being noble

C: I think you do. I think you think no lashing out makes you more mature when it just makes you more angry. Listen, if he walked away to save you from himself, why are you still letting that torture you?

A: I don’t know

C: Healing isn’t for the other person, it's for you. You deserve to be happy, that’s why you agreed to the divorce, isn’t it? You wanted to be happy too

A: I agreed to the divorce because I didn’t want to face the fact that he didn’t want me

C: So you would’ve stayed?

A: Absolutely. Sometimes you meet a person and they’re just-

C: It. I know.

A: I know something was going on with him, I could feel it but I couldn’t fix it. I didn’t want to be a failure

C: And it wasn’t your job to fix it

A: I could’ve been more supportive. 

C: Do you really think that?

A: When he shut down, I shut down too. I can admit that

C: Which is understandable

A: but not helpful. You don’t have to say it

C: Listen, nobody blames you for trying to stay unscathed. Damaged people can be hard to deal with. I know I wasn’t. I was moody and anxious all the time. Never wanted to talk. Never wanted to do anything. That could drive anybody crazy

A: It just about did

C: Anna, you needed to protect yourself. That’s not failure. You should never sacrifice yourself in that manner. In the whole picture, maybe he should’ve been better and actually spoke to you to do better but at the time, his only option may have been to let you go. That’s not failure. That’s survival

A: Boy, am I glad you can’t see me

C: Lol, why you say that?

A: Because I am a crying mess right now

C: Aww...I’m sorry.

A: No, it’s fine. I just never heard it quite like that. Like I knew it wasn’t my job to fix him but I felt so guilty about leaving even though he was pushing me away

C: When you really love and care about someone, that happens. There’s nothing wrong with that. I think so often we get wrapped in our own pain that we don’t realize how our distance affects others. Was he a bad guy prior to then?

A: No, he was the sweetest and funniest person. He just became so cold and empty. Like literally you couldn’t see any life in his eyes

C: Do you think he didn’t love you?

A: He did love me. I could see it breaking him to tell me to leave but it wasn’t strong enough

C: Then that’s what you need to hold on to. There’s nothing wrong with loving him. And there’s nothing wrong with being angry with him either. You have a right to be but you also have the power to deal with it and determine how you react to it. 

A; You’re absolutely right

C: I think you really should go on a vacation and just take some time to yourself. Some of the locations out there are remote enough that you could stand outside and scream for hours. You need to release it

A: Then what do I do after that?

C: You live. And be happy. And that doesn’t mean you have to date or fall in love with anyone other than yourself. You don’t have to let your anger be your only connection to him, that’s what your love is for.

A: You still love your ex-wife

C: I do.

A: She was it for you, wasn’t she?

C: She was. Still is.

A: How’d you let go?

C: Physically? I distanced myself. I moved out of our old house, I stayed away from our old friends. Emotionally? I still haven’t learned how to

A: Does that part ever get easier?

C: No but I just try and bury it, which probably isn’t healthy but I can’t have her, you know.

A: Did you ever try?

C: Honestly, I don’t know what to say. Besides, I don’t deserve another chance

A: Isn’t that for her to decide?

C: You’re right.

A: I know you think you’re protecting her but lying, even by omission, never helps. You wanna know what to say? The truth. Tell her everything. That much you do owe her.

C: You’re right

A: Who needs a therapist when we got each other?

C: LOL, you are right again. Thanks for the gifts and your gift

A: My gift?

C: Your friendship. It’s refreshing, haven’t felt like this in a long time

A: You’re very welcome. Same to you.

C: I guess I should let you go then

A: You don’t have to if you don’t want to. What else you wanna talk about?

C: How about your connect for these vinyls?

A: Lol

Omg Daddy, look at all the puppies,” Anesa said as she squeezed his hand with delight, “can I get more than one?

“No. We agreed on one puppy and that’s all.”

“Yes Daddy. Is the one I want here?”

“Yup. The shelter manager says that he’s getting checked out right now and then we’ll be able to take him and go.

“Yay!”

Chris chuckled, “no yelling inside, Nesa.”

“Oops.”

A blonde woman walked over to him with a clipboard, “My name is Alexis. How may we help you?”

“Hi. We have an appointment to pick up a Maltipoo named Shep.”

“He is in the back with our resident vet. She runs the clinic next door. Would you like to come back and see him?”

“If it wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

“No trouble at all. Follow me.”

Chris and Anesa followed the employee farther back into a vet office. Just as they stopped in the doorway behind Alexis, the doctor looked up.

“Robyn?”

“Chris?”

[ubernoxa]

The Dare: A Guns N’ Roses Fanfiction

Chapter 35: Bring Her Home

(Masterlist)

Pairing: Duff Mckagan/OC

Story Summary: A stupid harmless dare, that’s all it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be something they would do, and never revisit. For Delilah, little did she know that visiting the strip wasn’t going to be a one time thing when she made the choice to accept the dare. Life is full of choices. Some choices can mean absolutely nothing, while others can change your entire world. Delilah had heard many rumors about the Sunset Strip or Devil’s Strip. Teenagers would whisper stories about how the Devil walks the streets of the strips without a care in the world. It was known as a place untouched by God. After years of hearing rumors about the Devil’s Strip, Delilah wants to see it for herself. Thus a Dare was born.

Chapter Summary: Mags finds out Duff and Delilah had sex, and Mark finally gets the nerve to pop the question.

Taglist: @gingerspicetalks @str4nge-haze @queen-crue @dustnbones

It was cold.

Everything was cold.

Even the sunlight that shined through her apartment windows was cold.

Her eyes quickly scanned the room, and the only thing that changed from the night before was that Tonya was most likely in her room, fast asleep. A state Mags envied.

As if Mags was on autopilot, she took a shower and got dressed for the day. She was still mad at her brother, but she still sprinted towards the bus stop not wanting to miss the bus that would take her to her brother’s apartment. Not only did she have some food she wanted to drop off, but she also wanted to check up on Del.

She adjusted her jeans as she sat on the hard plastic seat watching the bus shoot through traffic. Part of her wondering the entire trip how the bus drives didn’t get into an accident. It was borderline impressive.

“Morning Mags,” Mags turned to see a familiar blonde smiling at her.

“Hey, Sasha! What’s up?” Mags would describe Sasha more as an acquaintance than a friend, but Mags always puts on a smiling face. Like her brother says, it’s a lot better to spread happiness than make enemies.

After several minutes of casual small talk, Mags began to get the sense that there was something Sasha wanted to ask. There was something lingering in the girl’s eyes, and when the conversation began to die off, Sasha always kept it going. Mags knew something was up, and hoped it wasn’t about the stupid article. She was in no mood to deal with talking about how the bastard got her pregnant.

But sure enough, only a few moments later, Mags paranoia was proven right.

“So if you want, I’m having a big party...we’ll Christian my...boyfriend...is having a party at his place this Saturday, and I’d love to see you there...unless you know….it might be weird because...of the...whole pregnancy thing,” Mags took a deep breathe as it took every ounce of her sanity to not punch Sasha. Mags wasn’t Axl, she wasn’t him by a long shot. Unlike him she could control her temper, or atleast that is what she told herself.

“The pregnancy thing? Ohh you mean that bullshit article? Girl that was full of lies! What he chose not to mention was that I broke his heart because he wasn’t my type,” Mags let out a fake laugh to try to cover the lie that rolled off her tongue.

Was she going to admit she was pregnant to Sasha? No.

Was she going to admit that Drew, the man who wrote the article, shattered her heart into a million pieces? No.

Why? Because that’s not who Mags Adler was.

“Oh my god! The fucking bastard! I tell ya, the media only wants a story that sells their magazines. It’s despicable that they don’t think about how the lies they are telling are going to affect the people. Like I bet that Stef girl who is dating your brother never said how he wouldn’t make it. And oh that Del girl, I bet she does more than fawn over Duff and be his groupie. Like the girl has to have a life. I should have known this were off when the article framed Trixy as a good person. She is a fucking bitch,” Mags nodded and smiled as Sasha spoke.

The truth was Del really didn’t have much going for her besides the fact that she was in love with Duff. Of course Del had hobbies, but none that paid the bills which was a discussion for another day. Mags tried not to think of it, but Del was turning into a groupie. She quickly reassured herself that Del technically wasn’t a groupie Del wasn’t going around having sex with Duff, but little did she know what Del did last night and into the morning.

Part of Mags wondered if Stef actually said what she said. There were parts of the article that were true, but it was also filled with lies. Did she mean it when she said her brother was going now where? Mags knew with her whole heart that Stef adores Steven, but there was a small pit in her stomach that said otherwise. Mags tried connecting the dots on my Stef had been making excuses and events for Mags to go to that happened to be on the same days as concerts, but there wasn’t any connection. It just didn’t make sense.

“So I’ll see you on Saturday?” Sasha asked, pulling Mags from her train of thought.

“Maybe? My brother is playing a gig, but maybe after?” Mags offered the girl a soft smile as she saw her stop coming,

“Yeah, we will be partying till sunrise! Feel free to bring friends! Chriantian’s place is huge and there will be a live band!” Sasha smiled before Mags pulled the cord asking for the bus driver to stop.

It was only a 10 block walk for Mags, one she had gotten used to over the years. She kept her head high as she took in the peaceful strip. It was weird seeing it like this, but at 8 AM in the morning this was to be expected. Mags would admit that she appreciated the silence over the cat calls. She figured that one of the few benefits of being pregnant was that once she started to show she would get fewer cat calls.

Once inside the apartment, the smell of a cooking kitchen hit her like a truck. Eggs, onion, peppers, and paprika filled her nose causing a smile to grow on Mag’s face. Del was awake!

She froze as she saw the tall blonde over the stove instead of little Del.

“Hey Mags, how’s it going? Are those apples for breakfast?” Duff casually asked as he continued cooking, as if this was a normal occurrence. Mags placed the bag of apples on the table trying to make the confused look that grew on her features.

“What’s wrong Mags? Did you think those were oranges or something?” Mags shot her attention to Izzy who was sitting at the table. Mags wanted to slap the smirk off his face, but she knew that would only get her kicked out of the apartment, and if she was going to be kicked out it was going because she slapped Axl.

“Those are red apples to be exact,” Mags ignored Duff’s comment and placed the apples in the one of the few bowls that was at the apartment. It was a actually her bowl, but after a month of fruits rolling off the table, she figured they needed it more than her.

“Where is Del?” Mags asked quickly looking around the kitchen and their sad excuse for a common area.

“Still sleeping, she had a busy night,” Duff casually said, earning a snicker from Izzy.

Mags froze in place as she heard Duff’s comment.

“Did you fuck my roommate?” Duff was taken aback by Mag’s tone. She seemed agitated. What did she care? They were two consenting adults. Plus he would barely count Del as Mags roommate since she slept with him most nights.

“What does it matter-“ Mags cut Duff off before he could continue talking.

“I asked, did you fuck my roommate? It’s a yes or no question?”

“It’s none of your fucking business what I did between me and my grilfriend. Fun fact Mags, you can’t control everyone. Del isn’t your puppet,” Duff shot back, making sure to keep quiet so he wouldn’t wake Del.

In another room, Del remained frozen in Duff’s bed using his only blanket to hide her naked body. She tried to make sense of the emotions that were currently flowing through her.

Regret wasn’t the right word. She loved Duff, and from what she knew, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

Pride was also wrong. She wasn’t proud of losing her virginity. It was something she was taught her entire life to protect and save until marriage. Having sex was sacred.

It wasn't that she wasn’t happy, but she also wasn’t sad. She possibly felt more content than happiness or sadness.

Shame, was another word that filled her head. Shame was the word that she felt right for her. She was ashamed that she had gotten so tipsy that she lost her virginity to the man she loved.

“Hey, you okay?” Del rolled over towards Slash as he spoke.

“Yeah...just trying to figure out how to get out of this pickle. I feel kinda…..”

“Gross?” Slash finished Del’s sentence earning a nod from the girl.

“I wouldn’t recommend putting your clothes from last night on, they’re probably still wet. I can grab a shirt from Duff’s stuff to help you cover up,” Del nodded at Slash’s kind offer, but before Slash could get up to help Duff walked into the room.

“And this is my cue to leave. I believe Duff has this under control,” Del shot Slash a quick smile as he headed out of the room to enjoy some breakfast. For the first time, Slash was kind to her. Usually he just existed in the room she was in and never truly interacted with her, but now...now he was kind.

Izzy’s words echoed through Duff’s head as he joined Del on his bed. He had to be slow and gentle with her.

“How are you feeling,” Duff played with her hair as he spoke, watching the curls bounce as he dropped them.

“I’m sore, and I feel gross,” this caught Duff off guard as a frown flashed across his face.

“Like you regret it,” Duff let a sigh escape him. Fuck, Izzy was right.

“No, I don’t regret it. I regret the fact that you don’t have a nice shower though,” Del teased back in attempt to make him smile. It worked, and she felt her heart flutter as a smile formed and she guided him gently ontop of her.

“Ohh is someone ready for round two?” A cocky smirk was placed across the bassist’s features as he hovered over Del.

Del let out a soft chuckle before shaking her head no.

“I’m still sore Duffles,” she cupped his chin as she watched a smirk cross his features. This was a view Duff would do anything to see. His small little Del, under him in full view.

“Did you...did you make breakfast?” Del asked, trying to change the scene that had unfolded in front of her.

“Yeah, and Mags brought apples,” Del smiled at the mention of Mags. It was good to hear that she left the apartment.

“How...how tense is it out there?”

“Well Steven is asleep, and Mags came in with a bitchy attitude so pretty tense?” Del was caught off guard by Duff’s tone. Del knew she should have said something, stand up for Mags but she remained silent. Something was wrong, and Del didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire.

“Is everything...okay?” Del asked as Duff climbed off her and dug through his bag and handed her on of his shirts. She knew he wasn’t mad at her, but she still wanted to know why he was pissed.

“Yeah,” Duff’s one world answer irked Del, but she quickly brushed it off.

“Come one Duffles, you can tell me anything,” Del quickly got out of bed and walked over towards Duff. As the words escaped her lips, she laced her fingers into his shoulder length hair.

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself Axl!” Del dropped her hand from Duff’s hair and snapped her attention towards the kitchen. She couldn’t see a thing since the door was closed, but she recognized who the screaming was coming from.

Del turned back towards Duff to see a scowl had formed on his face. In attempt to lighten the mood, she said “Mags knows that there is probably a line of people who are waiting for Axl to go fuck himself.”

This earned a small smile from the blonde and Del quickly got dressed in Duff’s shirt he handed her.

“Duff, can I borrow some shorts too?”

Del froze as Duff's laughter filled the room.

“I love you Delly, but my shorts are going to be a little too big on you,” Duff teased back, earning a playful eye roll from the girl. He wasn’t wrong, Del looked like a twig compared to Duff.

She threw Duff’s shirt on and followed him out to some breakfast. Her stomach rumbled as the smell of a freshly cooked breakfast drowned her senses.

“Good morning lovebirds!” Slash bellowed as Duff guided a slowly moving Del into the kitchen.

Izzy and Slash shared knowing looks as they watched how slowly Del was walking. They were defiantly going to tease Duff about this later, once Del wasn’t in the room.

Duff and Del sat down at the table joining the rest of the band minus Axl. Del figures he was probably in his room either lying on his bed or drawing in attempt to calm himself down. She wished there was something she could do to help, but she wasn’t in the position to do that at the moment.

“Thanks, Izz! It smells amazing,” Del said as Izzy placed a plate of eggs in front of her.

“Hey! I’m the one who made it!” Laughter echoed through the tiny apartment as Duff spoke.

“It tastes delicious,” Del said before kissing him on the cheek.

Axl was the last to join the group. He almost froze as he sat down as he saw Del at the table. Her hair was a curly mess that framed her features perfectly. To Axl, she looked like an angel in his shirt that she was practically swimming in. He had forgotten that he gave that old shirt to Duff a month or so ago, and now after seeing Del wear it part of him wished he had kept it.

Feeling Axl’s stare, and immediately misinterpreting it why he was staring, Del quickly spoke, “Ohh...I can..I can eat in another room..if you guys want to have a band meeting. I can go eat with Mags..wherever she went off to.” Del began to look around left and right to see where her friend went.

“Mags left. She just stopped by to drop off some food,” Del knew that Mags didn’t leave by choice. By the tone in Steven’s voice she knew that Mags was kicked out.

“You’re not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me now..like it or not,” Duff whispered into Del’s ear earning a sweet smile to cross her lips.

——————-

“Come on Beth, we are almost there and then you can take the blindfold off,” Mark said as he guided the blindfolded girl through the church basement. His heart was racing a million miles per a minute, and he couldn’t believe he was going to finally do it. He was going to propose to her. He felt giddy, excited, and nervous all at the same time. He had finally found the right moment to propose to her.

“It smells amazing! Are you sure we are still in the church?” Beth asked as Mark guided her to sit down.

“Yes, and you can take off your blindfold,” Mark couldn’t help, but smile as Beth remained silent as she took in the room.

The first thing she noticed was that the room was illuminated by candles instead of the ugly yellow lights that traditional illuminated the room. The second was the rose petals on the floor. The third wwas photos taped to the wall.

“5,110 days….that’s how long I’ve known you. We met when we were 5 years old. I am going to be honest, but I don’t remember much from back them. This though….this memory I will always remember,” Mark pointed at the first picture that he had tape in the wall only a few hours ago.

Beth let out a giggle as she stared at the photo. It was of Beth and Mark covered in flour. Their smiles were large as they posed for a photo which Beth assumes Mark’s mother took the photo since from what she remembered her own mother wasn’t to pleased with the situation at the time.

“It was in the middle of a small bible study, and we were being read from one of those children’s bibles with the large colorful photos. You wanted some cookies for a snack and after begging…..” Beth began to say.

“I didn’t beg!” Mark playfully shot back.

“No you begged because I remember Delilah teased you for a month about it!” Mark shook his head trying to hide his giggle at Beth’s comment, but she was right.

“Anyway, after you harassed the poor book reader he finally said you could go and grab some cookies from the kitchen, but you couldn’t go alone so I had to go with you. Anyway we ended up in the kitchen, but there were no cookies. So we decided to make some….and….” Beth couldn’t contain her laughter as the memories of how poorly their cooking went filled her head.

“I was grounded for a week,” Mark added smirking.

“A week? I was grounded for two months! Delilah and I couldn’t play because of it,” Beth playfully hit him as he spoke.

“I’m assuming I follow the rose petals?” Beth asked as she followed the rose petals towards the next photo. She smiled at the thought of celebrating her four month anniversary with Mark looking through old photos.

Mark nodded and they walked down the rose petal path looking at photos that ranged from their first day at school to after school activities.

“I still think you look good it Delilah’s hot pink tutu,” Beth said as they looked upon a picture taken from one of the talent shows.

“I think my rendition of the sugar plum fairy gave her cute little dance a run for its money,” Mark smiled as Beth’s laughter filled the room. They were just 12 years old when that photo was taken, and even back then he wore the tutu and jokingly danced around like a fool to make Beth laugh.

“Which one is your favorite?” Beth asked as they walked in front of the 12th photo.

“The last one,” Mark smiled as he purposely focused on the picture. If he looked at her he would cry because the last one was going to be a special memory.

“And which one is that?”

“You’ll have to wait and see,” Mark sneakily replied earning an eye roll from Beth.

The next photo was from their eight grade graduation. Beth, Delilah, Mark, and Matt were posing in front of the church holding their little diplomas in the air with the pride of a college graduates who had just earned their doctorates in advanced medicine.

“Do you remember how much of a fuss you were making because the cap flattened you hair,” Beth smiled as she pointed at the picture.

“Do you know how many photos my mother took that day? My brothers would still be making fun of me if I looked bad in those photos!”

“Ohh Mark...they make fun of you anyway,” Beth teased before she headed towards the next photo. It was from Halloween when they were 15.

“Do you remember when Delilah was told she couldn’t be Tinker Bell because Tinker Bell was inappropriate?” Beth asked as she looked at the photo.

“If I remember right it was because Tinkerbell promotes sin because she was a needy attention hog or something like that?”

“And how Delilah was so busy complaining that she forgot to tell her mother what she actually wanted to be for Halloween, so she went as a princess,” Mark couldn’t help but laugh at the memory of Delilah.

“Then Matt kept telling people she was the princess from the princess and the pea. How would warm the people who handed out candy that Delilah was cranky because she didn’t get a lot of sleep the night prior because of a pea under her mattress,” Mark and Beth’s laughter once again filled the room before heading onto the next photo.

After 20 more minutes of reminiscing on other photos, Mark guided Beth towards a room filled with even more flower petals and a candle. Beth smiled as the smell of roses engulfed the room. The small room had a table and some tables and chairs pushed against the walls with a large mirror in the center. Beth could tell that he tried to hide what the room actually was, but she recognized it. This is the room where Matt, Mark, Delilah, and her would hang out every day.

“Mark, I know you didn’t intend for this to be creepy, but I’m getting horror movie vibes,” Beth half joked as she looked around the room.

“Where is the photo?” Beth added while continuing to look around the room.

“Come,” he held both of Beth’s hands and stood in front of the mirror. Beth was hesitant, but let him guide her out of curiosity.

“Beth, from the moment I met you I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my days with you. Whether it was getting in trouble for attempting to make cookies or just spending time with you on that ugly floral couch, I love spending every moment with you. I feel like I can be my true self when I’m with you,” Mark felt the nerves come back as he spoke.

“I love you too,” Beth smiled as she squeezed his hands tight.

“Beth Marie Jacob,” Beth gasped as she watched him get down on one knee.

“This afternoon we reminisced over some of my favorite memories for every year I have known you,” Mark pauses as he watched tears of happiness slowly flow down Beth’s face.

“Will you make one more memory with me tonight?” Mark pulled out the small box he had kept in his pocket for the past month.

“Will you Beth Marie Jacob marry me?” Mark’s heart stopped as the words escaped his lips. A sliver of fear slipped into his thoughts that she would laugh at him or say no.

“Yes! Ohh God yes, I love you,” The tears now began to stream down her face as Mark put the ring on her finger, and kissed her.

“I love you too!” Mark spun her around causing her to fill the room with her giggles and screams of joy.

Once they let go of each other they turned and stared into the mirror.

“I think this is my favorite memory too,” Beth smiled as she continued to look at her and Mark.

Mark watched as a frown quickly formed on her face.

“What?” Mark pulled Beth in close attempting to comfort her.

“I just...I wish Delilah was here to share this memory with us,” Beth spoke no louder than a whisper.

In that moment, Mark kissed Beth’s forehead and made up his mind. He was going to go to Sunset Strip and bring Delilah home, no matter what.

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

Wait to Find the Silver Lining

PART TWELVE OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: mentions of blood and injuries, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 3.8K

Summary: On the night of their first date, Ella and Jess end up in the emergency room.

For the first time in quite a while, Ella had the morning off, sitting with Rory and Lorelai at the diner’s counter for breakfast instead of standing on the opposite side to serve them. Mid-September, and the sun shone down on Stars Hollow warmly, but the breeze had already turned chilly. Autumn was falling on Connecticut fast. Due to shifts at the diner and the start of school, neither Jess nor Ella had been able to free up enough time for a real date. Of course, each lunch at school Jess bothered to show up to, and every shift at the diner brought them together. But Jess was anxious to truly take her out. He was partially convinced Luke had booked both of them up so much to prevent a date from ever happening, but Jess had argued with him enough to earn them both an early closing on Friday night. They were only scheduled until eight, instead of nine or ten.

Ella had begun feeling excitement and nerves well up inside her, and they only grew as the day approached. She’d assured him she would be paying for half of whatever they were doing, after the first date. She hadn’t gotten him to budge on the first date, though not for lack of trying. He wanted to show her all the upsides of dating, he’d said, like getting to go out for free. Sipping from her giant mug of tea, she felt her eyes flicking over to the checkered curtain from which Jess would appear at any moment. It was odd; she’d never had a real relationship, had never had such pleasant tension build within her.

“Hey, Stevens!” Lorelai exclaimed, breaking Ella’s reverie.

Ella blinked in surprise, exiting the cloud of her thoughts back to reality. “Sorry, sorry. What’s up?”

Lorelai snorted and rolled her eyes. “My god, you two are like puppies. Waiting to see lover boy this morning?”

Blushing, Ella let out an unconvincing scoff. “Lover boy wishes. Just got a lot on my mind, that’s all.”

“Like what your kids will look like?” Rory chimed in teasingly.

Ella groaned. “You guys keep this up, you’ll never be graced with my presence for breakfast again. And I’ll wait extra long to serve you your coffee tomorrow.”

Both Gilmore women narrowed their eyes at her.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Lorelai wagered.

“Try me,” Ella said, winking and taking another sip.

Luke ambled back over, having just delivered an order to a table by the front window. He’d caught the last bit of their conversation, stance grumpy and curmudgeonly as always when he stood in front of the three of them again. “You should see those two during shifts together. It’s like I’m not even here.”

“A hostile work environment, huh?” Lorelai asked, feigning sympathy.

Again, Ella rolled her eyes. She knew neither Luke nor Lorelai had yet warmed up to the idea of the two of them being together. She knew they feared her being corrupted, but she was confident enough in the head atop her own shoulders. Matters of the heart could always be handled.  

“Yeah, whatever. You’ll be spared the agony for a couple hours tonight, though. I’ve got some stuff to pick up from my aunt in New Britain. I’ll be here around six.”

Luke nodded. “At least some semblance of peace will be restored.”

Ella gave a doubtful look. “I wouldn’t speak too soon. Jess’ll still be here, after all.”

Right on cue, Jess trudged down the stairs and emerged from the curtain, rubbing a tired eye with the palm of his hand. A smirk crossed his features at the sight of Ella, though he was acutely aware of all the others witnessing the interaction.

“Hi,” he said, nodding a little at her.

“Hi,” Ella answered, smiling shyly.

“Ah, speak of the Satan,” Lorelai said.

Jess didn’t give more than a momentary glance Lorelai’s way before going to grab a coffee to-go and a donut from under one of the glass domes.

“That’s not the saying, mom,” Rory piped up, raising an eyebrow at Lorelai.

Lorelai nodded over her coffee. “I know. But I think it fits him better. A little more umph, y’know?”

.   .   .

A rag thrown over her shoulder, Ella hummed under her breath and tried to fight the smile threatening to brighten her face. It was only seven-thirty, after all. She could wait another half hour to truly feel the excitement. Luke would surely scold her if she was too giddy as they closed up, and she wanted to get through the night without being yelled at for a lack of professionalism. The boss had been in a worse mood than usual lately, and Ella sensed it was not entirely due to her and Jess’s new relationship. Blondie lyrics flew from her mouth in a happy whisper as she stacked the chairs on the cleaned tabletops. She could hear the sloshing of water and clinking of plates from the back, Jess on dish duty. Luke was restocking some items in the back. She bounced a little on her heels as she walked, weaving through the tables. Before work, she’d been able to see her aunt, going to fetch the items she’d left over the summer but kept forgetting to pick up. It brightened her mood even more. She pushed up the sleeves of her black shirt as she kept working, smoothing her denim mini-skirt with anxious hands.

“I gotta go to Doose’s for a few things,” Luke announced as he exited the stock room. “Be back in about thirty minutes, alright?”

“Sure. I’ll manage,” Ella nodded, throwing him a good-natured smile.

Luke snorted a chuckle. “Just don’t let Jess burn the place down.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Not more than five minutes later, Ella was almost finished with the front of house work. Supplies were placed in proper cubbies behind the counter, menus were wiped off, leftover pastries put away. Tucking her hair behind her ears, she put her hands on her hips and racked her brain to make sure there was no task she had forgotten.

“Ow! Dammit!” she heard Jess exclaim from the back, hissing in pain.

Ella furrowed her brows and rushed to the back. “What’s wrong?”

He stood before the steaming vat of dishes, water tinged pink, gripping his left hand firmly in his right. Blood was leaking through his fingers and down his arms, leaving thin, reddish streaks.

“I was reaching in the dish pit and I guess I hit a rogue knife and now here we are!” Jess recounted angrily, through gritted teeth.

As Ella stepped forward, she reached for his injury and he flinched out of instinct.

“Just let me see,” she said softly, and he slowly took his right hand away.

With a gentle touch, she grabbed his left wrist and assessed the cut. There was a deep slice from the base of his pinky down halfway to his wrist. Ella knew the knife which had cut him was almost positively from the kitchen, not one of the dull patron’s utensils. Clicking her tongue in exasperation, she reached above the dish pit to grab a clean towel and pressed it to the wound. He held it there when she took her hands away.

Sighing through her nose, she took him by the shoulder and began guiding him to the front. “That’s gonna need stitches. C’mon, I came from New Britain so I’ve got my car. We’re going to the emergency room.”

Jess’s eyes widened and his pale forehead shone with a light sheen of sweat. “What? No! Let’s just wait until Luke gets back. He can use superglue or something.”

Scribbling a note on the pad from the apron she still wore, she snorted doubtfully. “Wait for Luke while you bleed out? Yeah, right. That’s a deep fucking cut, Jess. Let’s go now. He’ll see the note when he gets back and he’ll meet us there.”

“It’s not even that bad,” he argued, pressing harder on his left hand in hopes of making the bleeding stop.

She scoffed. “Okay, tough guy. Let’s just go for my own peace of mind then, alright?”

While speaking, she’d slammed the frantic note down on the counter and gone to the hanger near the door to grab her bag and keys. Inside, her heart was pounding in her chest and thumping in her ears, but she tried to exhibit outward calm. Color had drained from Jess’s face, and the redness seeped through the white towel he held to the cut.

“But what about tonight?” Jess asked after a moment, disappointment in his voice.

Ella offered a small smile, bringing a hand to his back and leading him out the door. She made sure to lock it as they rushed out. “We’ll do it next weekend, okay? I’ll enjoy dating a lot more if my date is alive.”

“I’m sorry,” he grumbled, slightly dazed as he followed her onto the sidewalk and to her car, parked right behind Luke’s truck outside the front door of the diner.

“Don’t apologize, Jess,” she said, going around to the driver’s side and unlocking it.

Before Jess could attempt to open his door, Ella ran back around and opened it for him. He nodded at her gratefully, though a blush heated up his cheeks as he sat down. As she shut her creaky driver’s side door with a slam! and started up the sputtering engine, Jess managed to click his seatbelt into its place on his own, despite Ella’s attempts to help him.

“For the record, I didn’t mean I was sorry about this,” he said, gesturing to his bloody hand. “I meant I was sorry about how much I’m gonna make fun of this car. What the hell are you doing driving a station wagon, Stevens?”

She laughed as she pulled away from Luke’s, doing her best to remain under the speed limit and not run the stop signs.

.   .   .

Ammonia and disinfectant burned her nostrils, and she had to blink back the wateriness in her eyes. The walls of the small hospital room were a blinding white, and the flickering of the fluorescent lights was almost nauseating. But Ella kept a calm tone as she ran her hand up and down over Jess’s back, sitting next to him on the exam table, which was covered with crinkling white paper.

The nurse cleaned out Jess’s cut with freezing cold water, and Jess tried his best to not let the pain cross his features. Instead, he listened to Ella, distracting him with random rankings of songs. He disagreed with her judgement frequently, starting weak but playful arguments. When the cut was cleaned, the nurse, a man with a tired face and kind blue eyes, set Jess’s hand palm-up on a small silver table before them, sterile tools set around it. The nurse interrupted their conversation when he brought out a syringe, and explained he would have to give Jess shots inside the cut in order to numb it before sewing it up. Jess nodded, gulping as he straightened up slightly and prepared himself. He blew out a long breath and his face paled even more.

Ella, sitting to his right, grabbed his uninjured hand and squeezed. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he assured her, trying to hide his grimace at the thought of what was about to happen. “I just...I don’t like needles.”

“Oh. Well, don’t look at it,” Ella said, trying to calm him as she glanced down at his hand, into which the nurse was about to stick the syringe filled with a numbing agent. “I guess that means matching tattoos are out of the question, huh?”

“I’d say so,” he replied, chuckling.

“Damn,” she shook her head, teasing. “I guess I won’t end up with Jack Nicholson’s face on my ass after all.”

Jess grunted a little and squeezed her hand tighter as the nurse gave him the first shot. Using her free hand to rub circles over his back again, she gave him a quick peck on the cheek to reassure him. In spite of himself, Jess couldn’t help but lean into her touch.

.   .   .

The process was painful but quick, and Ella managed to keep Jess’s muted laughter going through the whole thing. Jess didn’t think it was possible to smile with a curved needle stitching up his flesh. And while the numbing had been upsetting in its own way, he could barely feel the actual sewing. Ella’s thin hand drew rhythmic circles on his back, and the nurse was just snipping up the thread by the time Luke ran into the room. Other than his baseball cap sitting slightly askew and the frantic look in his eyes, he’d maintained his gruff, stoic mask.

“Nice of you to show, Uncle Luke,” Jess drawled flatly, the nurse winding white gauze around his hand.

Luke frowned at him, and was about to retort, but the nurse piped in to instruct Jess not to get the wound wet and to come back in a few days to get the stitches pulled out. Nodding in thanks and understanding, Jess told the man he was good to go. Then, there were three. And Luke stood with his hands on his hips and stared the two of them down. Even after a few weeks, it was still unnerving to see their hands clasped together.

Sighing through his nose, Luke cleared his throat and tried to keep calm. “Why didn’t you come over and get me before driving all the way out here?”

“I didn’t want Jess to die inside the diner. I hear it brings down retail costs,” she said defensively.

Jess snorted.

Luke rolled his eyes but nodded, could see the panic still painted on her face. He crossed his arms over his chest and stepped towards them. There was a long, awkward silence before he finally spoke. “Alright. I’m sorry. Thanks for...driving.”

Ella nodded in earnest. “You’re welcome.”

“But you can go home, alright? I still have some paperwork and stuff to fill out,” Luke said tiredly.

Nodding again, Ella cast a glance at Jess. He flexed his injured hand once or twice, testing it out.

“Don’t worry, Stevens. I’m good,” he said, catching the worry in her face. “At least I’ll get off dish pit for a little while.”

“That’s true,” she said. “Wait to find the silver lining, Mr. Sunshine.”

Jess scoffed. “Whatever, Daria.”

“Ugh, it’s sickening,” Luke groaned, rolling his eyes at the interaction.

Ella snickered, shaking her head slightly as she stood up. “I’ll see you later, Mariano.”

“Seems that way. Just drive a little slower on the way home, huh?” he scolded, looking over to speak to Luke. “Speed Racer over here couldn’t stay less than twenty over the limit.”

“Traitor,” she shot back, smirking. “You should get them to give you a sticker, kid. You were very brave.”

Jess feigned a glare and was about to retort, but she pecked his lips instead and gave his shoulder a final squeeze. Ella grabbed her bag and made for the hallway.

As she passed Luke, she gave a joking salute. “Happy to be of service, boss.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. “Tomorrow morning, okay?”

“I’ll be there.”

.   .   .

Her shift, a double, passed little by little. The hands of her watch seemed to slow down each time she took a peek, torturous, glacial ticking. Luke had his hands full with Caesar at a doctor’s appointment in the morning and Jess with the day off. The extra work helped the day go by, if nothing else. She’d asked after Jess, and Luke said only that he was out. It made Ella all but laugh, biting back a smirk as she thought of Jess rushing out in the morning with a Walmart vest hidden somewhere on his person. Shangri-la, indeed. She knew he had to be back at some point, though, and had asked to help close, get a little overtime. Luke never refused her for overtime. Especially not after the period following her mother’s death when the diner’s leftovers had been pretty much the only thing keeping her household afloat.

On her lunch break, she’d skipped the meal and instead made trips to both the video store and the makeshift movie house. Kirk somehow was in charge of both places for the day, and it had taken almost all of her patience to negotiate favors with him. She’d promised to make three of her rhubarb pies for the diner the next weekend. Everyone in town hated rhubarb except Kirk.

The evening brought rain, and it made Ella feel cozy as she closed up the diner. Luke was back dealing with the dishes, what with Jess down for the count. Caesar hummed some eighties song while he cleaned the kitchen, but somehow managed to leave early despite the time and energy his closing dance moves took up. Ella was almost finished with everything, nothing left but to sweep up, by nine. She was almost worried Jess wouldn’t return and her plan would fall through, but he ran over from the bus stop at five past nine. His leather jacket was slick with rainwater and his hair was dripping, but his stitched hand was dry in his pocket and he still cracked a smile when he saw Ella.

“You should buy an umbrella,” she said, scrunching up her nose as she ran a hand through his wet locks.

Jess only shrugged. “I like to live dangerously.”

“I’ve noticed. How’s your hand?” she asked, resuming her work on the floor while Jess took a seat at a stool by the counter.

Again, the nonchalant shrug. “Won’t be modelling bracelets any time soon, but I’ll live.”

“Glad to hear it,” she said, then went over and placed the broom in the corner near the stockroom where it belonged. She couldn’t hide her smile; she loved both giving and receiving surprises. “So. Got any plans tonight?”

“Thought I’d crack the books,” he said, shrugging off his jacket. “Geometry, American History, really work on that ol’ GPA.”

Ella rolled her eyes, then came over in front of him. He laced his arms around her waist. With the customers all gone, Ella felt more comfortable with PDA. “Be careful, one of these days someone’s gonna take you seriously and you’ll have to make good on your word.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

“Anytime,” she quipped. “Anyway, I thought we should do our ‘official date’ tonight, instead of next weekend.”

Jess rolled his eyes at her air-quotes, and sighed through his nose. “It’s past nine in Stars Hollow. Nothing’s open.”

She feigned deep thought. “I think ‘nothing’ is far too absolute a term. You’d be surprised.”

“Oh, would I?” he teased, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, Mariano, I think you would.”

.   .   .

Hands entwined, Jess and Ella ran down Main Street towards the movie house, only partially shielded by store awnings. She had refused to tell him exactly what was going on, only that he better be hungry for popcorn. By the time they made it in through the front door, Ella’s long hair, tied half-up, half-down, was frizzy and damp. But her cheeks were rosy and her smile was wide. The night had cooled down, and the heat in the movie house was welcome. Immediately, she shed her coat and hung it on the hook by the door. Jess followed, then trailed behind her as she made her way over to the ancient popcorn machine. There was one solitary bucket, kept warm in the center. Kirk stood beside it, looking stoic with his work vest, hands clasped in front of each other.

“Evening, patrons,” he said in a clipped tone, handing her the bucket.

Ella nodded, smirking. “Evening, Kirk. You can call us by our names.”

Kirk shook his head slightly, refusing to make direct eye contact. “Professionalism is always a top priority at the Stars Hollow Movie House, ma’am.”

“This isn’t even a real movie house and I bribed you with pie to do this showing,” Ella retorted.

Jess scoffed, smirking widely.

Sighing, Kirk finally met her eyes and his shoulders dropped in disappointment. “Ella, I’m an employee. I take all my jobs very seriously. I’m asking you to respect that.”

She bit back her smile and raised a hand in surrender. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Thank you for doing this. You’ll have your pie by next weekend.”

Kirk swallowed dryly, then returned to his solemn stance, offering nothing more. Jess cast Ella a suspicious glance, but she only took his uninjured hand again and led him to the red couch at the front of the room, nearest the projector screen. As soon as they sat down, the lights dimmed and they could hear Kirk booting up the projector.

“You paid him in pie?” he asked.

“It’s the universal currency.”

“I was gonna pay for our first date,” he argued, pouting slightly.

She shrugged. “Well, you can’t always get what you want, as the Stones would say.”

“Next time?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yes, Jess, if it’ll make you happy. Next time.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, jackass,” she replied, rolling her eyes at his stubbornness.

He let his eyes roam over the movie house, a place he didn’t remember ever stepping foot in. Dusty bookshelves flanked either side of the large screen. The air smelled like old, weathered pages and the buttery popcorn in the bucket at Ella’s side. Jess wasn’t sure, but he thought he could hear the heavy rain on the tin roof above. He wondered what the building had originally functioned as, considering it looked just like a suburban cottage. Ella’s hand in his, he felt almost comfortable enough to fall asleep on the huge red couch, despite his excited nerves and wet hair and bandaged hand.

“Okay, Stevens, the suspense is killing me,” Jess said after a pause, gesturing to the screen.

A mischievous grin crossed her face and she planted a kiss on his cold cheek.

“Since last night you had a fight with a knife, not to be confused with a knife fight,” she teased, ignoring the playful nudge Jess gave her with his elbow, “I figured having a private screening of one of Cameron Crowe’s masterpieces might make you feel better.”

Almost rendered speechless for a moment, Jess felt his heart flutter in his chest. A small, sincere smile crossed his face. “Well, Almost Famous is the best medicine for pretty much every ailment.”

She nodded, conspiratorial. “I whole-heartedly agree. It’s second only to Stephen King.”

Jess sighed through his nose, shaking his head. “You were so close to sounding refined.”

She snorted. “Hypocrite.”

As the bluish light of the projection came on the screen, the familiar music started and warmed Jess’s heart more than he would ever outwardly admit. They faced the movie, and spoke in hushed tones. He hoped the darkness would conceal his blush.

“Thank you, Eleanor, you didn’t have to do this,” he said, almost shyly.

“I wanted to.”

He looked over at her, and could see the image reflected in her hazel eyes. Bringing a hand to her cheek, gently turning her head, he pressed his lips to hers and smiled into the kiss.

[susoftjockau]

The Plan - Part Three (Ophelia)

Ophelia had a simple home. Well, an apartment. From what Connie could tell — through the rambles she endured and how Ophelia would stumble into the living room with a giddy languid nature — is that she stayed with her mother, kept the chores three-fourths on her, and she loved baking.

And baking was a pastime that made itself very apparent.

In the small kitchen, cornered by a bookshelf and a stack of beanbag chairs, the cabinets were filled to the brim with flour, bags, chocolate and white chip sacks, and cocoa powder en masse. The oven had trays with baking paper already in place — dabs of cookie dough, other pans filled with chocolate mix under the searing orange through the compartment window. Connie never knew someone's enthusiasm for baking could outweigh how logic for working in such a small kitchen. She noticed the surfaces, the amount of ingredients just for it, where only a few packages of vegetables, eggs, and a cheese slab made their home inside of the main contents of the apartment fridge.

How long had this been going on? Was it a passion? A hobby?

"You hanging out fine?" Ophelia, smile dazed and ready, lounged right next to her on the couch as music from her radio fizzled with pop and R&B. Both of them had their hair held up by scrunchies — a precaution, knowing how it wasn’t that tasty finding hair in one’s own baked goods "You look sore, or whacked out, or something."

The word choices put her off for a second, but she answered, "I'm okay. I'm just surprised you prepared all this just to hang out." She rubbed her neck. The preparation was an understatement. The cheerleader, while cooking, would cradle the mixing bowls like they were children, keeping everything in-check, peering at a wrinkled notepad decked with sticky notes on an open space between the utensils and ingredients; she got Connie involved from the very beginning, leaving her to help with measurements, pouring powder and sugar and cracking eggs till they covered their fingers in batter. It surprised her they could clean themselves up so well in the aftermath, but the main shocker came from the passion, the fixed wanting for it.

"Aw man, it's nothing. Well, actually, cooking's pretty gnarly stuff when you come down to measurements and everything, but I wanted to make you feel okay with me." Ophelia grinned at her, flexing her bicep a bit — she didn’t know why. "Cause when you think of cheerleaders, what do you see?”

Connie blinked at that. “Well, I’d expect them to be talkative and charismatic.”

“But have you seen those old flicks where they were seen as bimbos or the cruelest sons of bitches in the world?”

“Erm.”

“Heathers. Mean Girls. Glee. Bring It On. Romy and Michele’s Highschool Reunion. Pretty in Pink. Always perceived as the promiscuous bunch, the mean ones, the rowdy socialites?”

She pressed her lips. She did see those stereotypes before. In fact, she still saw the cheerleaders in that way; it wasn’t out of malice, but it was hard to relate to a talkative bunch of people like them without drowning somehow. “Yeah.”

Ophelia nodded to herself, clicking her tongue. “People always see cheerleaders as preppy mall types, so I wanted to ease you out of that with something nice, so why not baking? It’s something that I’m into, no doubt, but isn’t it just nice to focus on an activity where you’re busy and the only goal was to just chow down or be satisfied — to be happy with one’s progress rather than speak much and make it a lil’ awkward?” Eye contact. “Ya’ feel me?”

She had a point. It definitely did get her to ease up over this whole ordeal, especially at the waft of chocolate and vanilla. It had a quality, charming overall, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Maybe it was the ease of something calming and focus-oriented? Something she could just work on without allowing her brain to focus so much on something that could leave her anxious and terrified? It probably was that. Maybe. "Well, I had fun with it," she couldn't help a smile, just a small one. "I haven't done baking in a long time so it’s a nice recap."

"Then when the oven’s finished, feel free to chow down on the grindage." She leaned more into the cushions, the smell of old wood and flour becoming a bit more intoxicating — a dance of two worlds, of homely delight. "We deserve a good day's work."

It took hours of batter creation, but it was worth it. "All right, I will." But there was a question on her mind. Before they started their entire process, she always wondered why they didn't touch the brownies under the baking paper — the one that laid aside from the rest, the wafting of a keen smell that made her lick her lips at the thought. It was the usual smell of chocolate, but with a specific drift in it that left her intrigued over why such a platter was left alone. "But why didn't we just eat the ones you'd left alone?"

Ophelia looked at her. "What?"

"The ones near the microwave. Were they for your mother or?"

"Oh, don't eat those."

"Why not?"

"They're edibles."

"Oh."

Well, that explained everything. However, the fact that Ophelia indulged in that type of drug wasn't something that made her feel...quite reassured, to be frank.

"It's not like I take this stuff like it's crack or something," the cheerleader piped up, voice going a tad higher. She looked relaxed before but now there's a wearing plagueness — probably from her own reaction, which didn't help the sliver of guilt. "I only take it when I have to relax. If I can give you the skinny about this whole deal, I just take CBD if the stress spikes; recreation is just that, keep a schedule on me so I don't just," she made a hand motion, a little explosion (sound effect included), "get into the weird statistics people like to harp about."

“Oh.” Statistics. The type schools would always harp about over the safety of ‘the youth’, even if they go a blind eye to many other things and become hypocritical of their own stances. “You won’t be part of it.”

Ophelia hummed. She left her body reclined, eyes closed to the world — a little beat in her shoes still there with its small rocking back and forth, pressing against the coffee table. “I keep myself healthy. I know the risks, it’s not like I’m an idiot. So I’m glad ya’ think so too.”

There was still uncertainty, but yet, there was the question of how far Connie could question this. Ophelia was responsible; Steven kept telling her back at the taco truck that she was a tank; always exercised on the daily and kept her own visual schedule to make sure her habits were intact rather than crumbling from lack of strong will. She saw the workout cords up on the walls, the dumbbells at the door. She couldn't just notch her as someone who didn't know what she was doing. It felt unfair to peg her like that at all. “I’m sorry about that. I’ve never considered that, I’m just—”

“Not use to recreation?”

Connie gazed at her. Then gave a relieved sigh. “Yeah, I’ve never had the opportunity to take these types of drugs. Never had someone tell me that they used it before, edible or otherwise.”

“And, don’t want to assume much,” Ophelia asked, “but you’re thinking I’m going to peer-pressure you too, huh?”

Silence. Then a nod.

“Well, no worries on my end, Constance.”

“It’s Connie.”

“Connie.” She coughed to herself, giving a nervous chuckle. Ophelia looked more relaxed, however, something Connie could look at as a good thing, better than just awkward chit-chat on a couch with nothing really that simple to fawn over. “I only give the edibles to people who want to go to the max on this stuff, and that’s that. I’m not going to be that weird guy who forces it at a dead-end party, basically any PSA villain that’s falling off the deep-end; it’s all up to the person and nothing else.” Her voice softened more, almost motherly in its tone. “The people who’ve done this do it than just for pleasure, sometimes it’s hard to cope with the fact we have tuition up the wazoo and sometimes we can’t handle the anxiety of problems we can’t handle. I could go on and on, but who needs a lil’ preaching in this day and age? Not me, even if it’s fun.”

She could finally feel herself calm down, relaxing into the cushions like a weight had been pulled. Ophelia wasn’t going to do anything wrong. She harbored a soft personality; she wasn’t going to coerce her or be intimidating about the whole thing. She was just Ophelia, and Connie was Connie. She didn’t have to be weird about it anymore. “Thank you.”

The cheerleader raised an eyebrow. “Why are ya’ thanking me?”

“For...educating me.” It was a simple answer. Nothing else had to be said.

Ophelia rang up in a giggle, eyes cracking open from their rest. “No problem.”

A ding went off. After a moment, both of them turned and peered at the kitchen entrance — the smell of chocolate so thick in presence, enough to overwhelm and please the senses. "Welp, the brownies are done." She stood up, bringing out a hand to her. "Ready to get stuffed?"

Connie smiled up at her finally. She grabbed her hand, allowing herself to be pulled up onto her feet. "I’d love to."

And maybe she could bring some courage to try out the edibles. But for now, she was okay as is.

- @morkthebork

[honestlyhufflepuff]

Mr. Universe Breakdown

I just had a lot of feelings about tonight’s episodes, so come with me while I attempt to process them.

Ice cream and pie for dinner is great, but you can kind of tell Steven is eating it more for his dad’s sake than his own.

The entire "Dear Old Dad" callback is so sweet, imma cry.

I love how Steven is this nearly adult drool-snoring with his mouth wide open in Greg's van and Greg still looks at him like he's the cutest child ever.

Alright, this expression with that weak laugh was the first hint we get that Steven is not totally into this. He's trying, but it's getting wearing.

Trying on tacky convenience store sunglasses and Greg noping out of the bathroom were peak moments.

Matching icons, anyone??

Greg, you live in a van, how are your standards that high?

Also, I wasn’t expecting Guacola to have a callback. No redemption arc for that abomination of a beverage.

“Dad, you’re rich, you don’t have to steal!”

I love how Steven just immediately assumes his dad is taking him to steal stuff. I’m doing this react on my second watch through, but I immediately knew this was the house Greg grew up in.

There’s a picture of the barn in the hallway! And a “Love Lives Here” sign. Oh no, is that this Universe’s equivalent to “Live, Laugh, Love?” Here I thought Greg avoided his parents because they were toxic or abusive, but it turns out they’re probably just super lame and cramped his style.

“Sorry for breaking into your lovely home. You seem like such nice people, with excellent tastes.”

First watch through, I totally thought this was a sarcastic little teen snark comment. Because come on. This decor is the quintessential representation of dated-grandparent-mild-hoarder-chic. On my second watch through, this seems utterly genuine. This house represents a peaceful, happy, stable life that Steven’s never known, and that he thinks he never will. He has so much longing to take in every single detail, before he even knows the people who live in that house are related to him. I had to take a break after writing that sentence because I got emotional.

He is more than strong enough to forcibly stop his dad from “stealing,” or to demand an explanation from him, but instead he goes off to write an “i’m srry we broke into ur house lol” note. Seems like he wanted a justifiable reason to explore this house.

Steven thinks later in the ep that Greg rejected a perfect life, but why would the parents not open any of Greg’s letters? Do they know about Steven? Do they care? It seems like they would care quite a bit, given that all of Greg’s memories have been preserved throughout the house, and yet no pictures of Steven, which tells me they don’t know about him. It’s not lost on me that Greg uses a PO box so they can’t find him (also because he still lives in a van). Is Greg repeatedly sending them checks so he feels he doesn’t owe them anything, and they are just refusing to cash them? I have so many questions.

Alright, so Steven is SO EXCITED to see Greg’s childhood memories. So excited to see his roots. To see his own connection to his human heritage. And Greg just shuts it down.

Way back in “Gem Harvest,” Greg saw how desperate Steven was to make a relationship with Uncle Andy work. And yet Greg did nothing to expose him to other human relatives.

In his attempt to grant Steven “freedom,” he just bound him and lived through him in a different way than his own parents did. If Steven’s upbringing was really about freedom more than Greg projecting his own issues, then Steven would have been given the option to have grandparents in his life. He would have gotten to decide if he liked meatloaf every Thursday and been given the chance to take road trips to their warm, lived in little house. It is a huge, glaring mistake that Greg never gave Steven that chance, especially after seeing how much he loved Andy.

“Leave that junk behind.”

Greg found the one memory he was looking for, and paid no attention to what Steven was drawn to.

“I get it, Steven. When I was just little Gregory Demayo I was going through the motions. Doing what everybody else wanted.”

And yet that’s exactly what he’s having Steven do. He’s literally having Steven walk in his footsteps to find himself in the same way he did, and he’s so lost in his own nostalgia that he’s not understanding that the reason that path worked for him was because he chose it. Steven’s way of breaking free and finding himself might end up being horribly boring and domestic to Greg, since that was something he never knew growing up.

This song is pretty tight, but Steven is not feeling it. Read the room, Greg. It’s like that “who wants to go a ROAAAAD TRIPPP??” line all over again.

“I don’t need this song, I need what you had...they can’t have been worse than mom’s family. I went half way across the galaxy for them, and THIS was right here??”

PREACH, Steven! He has always been so desperate for family. I’m getting so frustrated with Greg for denying him that choice because of his own hangups with authority figures.

Steven: You’re just like mom!

Greg: You grew up with actual freedom!

Steven: I grew up in a van!

Oh geez, stuff is about to go down. The leak did not prepare me for this moment.

“My problem isn’t that I’m a gem! My problem is that I’m a UNIVERSE!”

And here we see Steven shift from blaming his mom for everything, to blaming his dad for everything. And it’s so cathartic, honestly. It’s hard to be mad at Greg because he’s just so sweet and gentle, and rarely gets angry back at someone even when they are angry at him. And he genuinely loves the crap out of Steven. Even with all that, however, he is not blameless. And Steven has a right to call him out on that.

Scene breakdown: The driver’s side is totally crushed. The impact is enough that Steven was unconscious while Greg pulled him out of the car, and while he called for a tow truck. Think of all the impacts Steven hasn’t been knocked unconscious for, including all those hits from Jasper in the very next episode. If he was a normal human, Steven would have died on impact here. His gem probably was working overtime rapidly healing multiple fractures and internal bleeding in his brain.

And here’s where Steven starts to tune Greg out. I can’t help but see a parallel to when Aquamarine/Bluebird gets so annoyed with Steven’s relentless positivity.

I guess the talent of delivering all those cheesy motivational pep talks came from Greg. You know what, though? Forced positivity is just widening the divide between them at this point. Steven is not in a positive place right now, and he did his best to express why, but instead of owning up to anything Greg is just chalking it up to him “going through a hard time right now.” On the surface he appears sympathetic, but his response is ultimately condescending and invalidating.

And in the background he just talks about eating ice cream for more meals, like that’s going to fix everything. Like Steven didn’t just tell him that was the opposite of what he needed.

Even at this moment Greg never offers to connect him with his human family, when Steven has very clearly stated that’s what he wants.

I never would have thought a simple scene deleting a photo would be so tense. The building music, continuing to make Greg seem further away. The tired, bitter look in Steven’s eyes. This is like a villain origin story wtf.

Steven is slowly running out of people who he feels he can connect with. At the start of SUF it was the gems, and then it was Connie, and now it’s Greg. With that deleted photo he’s decided that Greg is no longer worth confiding in. He’s just another person who won’t listen.

I thought this scene would be the most painful one I saw tonight, until I saw Fragments...

[that70sbitchsstuff]

Is it just me or does anyone want to see a crossover between That 70s Show and the ranch. Like honestly I REALLY shkp Jackie and Rooster, I mean how can I not they would make the cutest couple. Imagine this, after season 8 Jackie breaks up with Fez, gets the hell out of point place and goes on a road trip to find something better, something new. Along the way she realised that she's basically broke and finds a small town named garrison. She arrives there at 6am and finds a bar named Maggie's with a help wanted sign, she goes in, walks up to the lady behind the bar and says... "Hey, look I'm just going to be blunt and say I'm normally not caught dead in places like these, but I'm really desperate and need a job and the sign outside says you need my help, so is there a manager I can talk to or something"Jackie said in a somewhat rushed and desperate voice.

The lady looks somewhat offended but also a little amused by Jackie's desperate tone, she didn't look like someone who was strapped for cash, in fact she look really young around 19 or 20. She had, her raven hair curled perfectly,her make-up done to a tee and she was certainly dressed to impress, in nee length leather boots, blue jeans tucked underneath and a clearly expensive red off the shoulder, only slightly baggy sweater and all of this to accommodated by a very pretty face with doll like features, she had big mismatched eyes one brown,one blue, full pouty lips, high cheeks bones but you could see that the girl was hurting underneath her innocent eyes. So the woman looked her up and down, raised her eyebrow, smirked and said....

"What in the hell makes you think ANYONE is gonna hire you with that attitude. Also do you even have the qualifications to work at a bar." The lady said in a thick southern accent. She looked to be in her late 50s or early 60s, her brown hair was short and curly and she had brown eyes and thin lips. She had on a pair of black Jean's, a denim shirt jacket and lilac tee-shrit that hung loosely around her body. In all honesty she looked a little bit like a hippie but she also didn't look like the type to take shit from anyone.

" Oh please" Jackie said offended, as she thought who wouldn't want to hire her."Firstly it's a bar, what 'qualifications' could I possibly need to-

"ok I'm gonna stop you right there" The woman said interrupting Jackie." I think we've been gotten a bit off track here and I'm on the verge of kicking your ass out of here. So I would like to know your name before I do that." She said very falsely sweet voice.

Jackie was taken aback, she was always so used to the 'customer is always right' motto. When she worked in the salon, the motto was practically engraved in to her mind. Her mother had also taught her to expect no less from employees or any kind of staff for that matter because their "basically our servants Jackie, we just dont have to pay them" her mother always said, to say that warped her young mind on how to treat people equally would be a understatement.

Her eyes widened a bit as she stammered out her reply, still a little caught off guard by the woman's bluntness" O-oh umm I'm Jackie, Jackie Burkhart" Jackie said confidently" And I'm sorry if I came on a little strong there, i just haven't gotten the hang of this 'job thing' yet. So what's your name." Jackie asked curiously.

The woman eyed Jackie curiously before giving her an answer.

"Maggie Bennett, and I am the owner of this bar".

After this exchange the two women quickly became acquainted with each other but cant help but be a little stand-offish. Jackie had learned that Maggie has been the owner of the bar for over 20 year which blow blew her mind but also that she was going through some martial issues and had two grown sons. Maggie had found out that Jackie was on something of a self discovery journey (something that Maggie envied) because of troubles back home. She had also learned that Jackie came from money and didn't have alot of job experience. This had helped Maggie in her decision in wether or not to hire Jackie but finally came to a conclusion......

"well kid your only 21, have had just three short job experiences and are pretty clueless when it comes to any manual labour other than fixing a car surprisingly." Maggie said in a toneless voice, which only made Jackie even more nervous. She knew she wasn't that experience but what she lack for in that she gained in determination.

Jackie looked at Maggie visibly worried now, even though she tried to calm her self down, she was afraid that Maggie was going to laugh her out of the building.

"Well...... you've got the job!" Maggie exclaimed happily but before she could anything else out, she had an arm full of Jackie Burkhart squealing happily and hugging the life out of her.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!" Jackie squealed gleefully and surprisingly she was really(excuse the language) fucking excited about this job. Because to her this will be her first job out in the real world, and yes you could argue that the cheese palace, the salon and working for that god awful woman who's name shall not be spoken (purely because I forget it), as real jobs but Jackie didn't because they were in that small town, that small town that took everything she loved, that small town that had been suffocating up until she left...she fucking hated that small town.

So she was excited about this new opportunity, this new chance to make something of her self to use her experience out in the rea-" wait, I have very little experience in these types of things, you even said it yourself self! why are you even hiring me". Jackie said curiously and a little self consciously, that was something was new to her.

"Well a number of reasons first one would probably be because you know how to make some pretty complicated drinks" That's right, Jackie remember telling her that she knew how to make alot of different drinks, not only from years of watching her own mother make 'special smoothies' but also from watching Mrs Forman make all different drinks." And well..... I'm low on staff and as long as you promise to not drink any of the alcohol, you can work here." Maggie said a little sheepish.

"Oh ok, well then I promise not to disappoint you and you dont have to worry about me drinking on the job, I'm more of a smoker than a drinker" Jackie said reassuringly"So when do I start."

"Right now" Maggie said "But its only 8AM dont bars usually open at like 6 or 7" Jackie asked confusingly.

"Oh honey not in this town, alcohol is kinda the only thing they have" Maggie said in a tone that was meant to sound jokingly, but something told Jackie that she was serious.

So for the next few hours Jackie worked as a bartender. She met all kinds of different people including some of the regulars. But it wasn't until 6PM when Jackie met the rest of the Bennett family.

Jackie had looked up from her place at the bar and saw three men walk in. The first one being an old man who looked to be in his 70s he full head of white hair and a white moustache, a khaki green button-up shirt and a pair of blue jeans with muddy boots. He had remained her of Mr Forman on account of him having a natural scowl on his face. The second man was tall and build, his face was very sculpted with refined features such as a builded jaw line, he had brown hair and a backwards red cap on, a blue and red check shirt with a grey shirt underneath, black jeans and a pair of muddy uggs that he could NOT pull off. He remained her of Kelso due to the goofy look on his face and the build of his body. The third man had her doing a double take, he looked so much like steven it was almost if he was right there. He had a full head of curly hair (although alot more tame than Stevens) and a bushy beard with squirted blue eyes, he had a light brown leather jacket with a red shirt on, navy blue jeans , with a pair of muddy cowboy boots? Seriously did these men not have any sense of fashion.

"Seriously I cant even shut a truck door right" the second man said flabbergasted. "I'm sure you could why you choose not to is beyond me" the first man replied patronisingly.

Judging by the tone of the conversation Jackie could only assume they were having a fight and honestly the old man reminded her so much of Red Forman that she was waiting for a 'Dumbass' or a 'foot up the ass' comment. Also both men had thick southern accent to them, like Maggie so she assumed they were from around here.

That was when the steven look alike spoke up." Hey, I'm gonna hit the bar. But in case you guys run out of things to fight about.." He paused as if he were about to reveal something important."Colt's Jean's cost 85 bucks" He said as he took his leave. His voice sounded almost like Steven's just older and had a southern accent to it.

As Jackie seen him approaching the bar she turned around and pretended to not have been ease dropping on their conversation.

I will post an update here and on fanfiction.net, hoped everyone liked it.

[ashsblurbs]

The cove

Tony laid in his room staring up at the ceiling. His eyes still stung after crying for a couple of hours but now he just felt numb. Or maybe it was more restlessness either way all he knew was he couldn’t be in this house anymore. He couldn’t be around his father and his sharp tongue. That what prompts the crying. Tony was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

He sat in the kitchen minding his own business trying to finish a few final assignments before graduation. It was quiet for once in the house but that didn’t last. His father slammed open the front door sending a banging sound through the halls. Great, Tony thought, just don’t say anything and maybe he won’t either. That sure was wishful thinking.

“Why are you in the kitchen? Where’s your mother?” Tony now could tell just how drunk Howard was. If it wasn’t the bloodshot eyes and the rumpled clothes, it defiantly the strong scent rolling off of his father like cologne.

“I don’t know.” Tony closed his eyes knowing that wasn’t the answer Howard was looking for. Strike one. He slammed a hand right next to him making Tony jump back. He got close to his face. Tony gritted his teeth and tried slowing his breath. He wasn’t scared of his father. Not anymore. He knew that he could leave and never look back. Tony only stayed for his mother but sometimes he questioned why. She was an adult and chose to stay. He knew it was wrong for him to think like this. “Liar. Just a useless piece of shit. I can’t wait till you’re gone.” Howard spat.

“Yeah, well I can’t wait to not be here either.” Howard's eyes went dark. Strike two of the wrong thing to say. Howard straighten up and grabbed Tony by the collar and pulled him in close.

“You ungrateful brat. Do I need to teach you a lesson about talking back?” Howard pushed him back away making Tony stumble into the table resulting in his hip to collide into the corner. He knew in the morning a bruise will form just to add with the others.

“Lay your hands on me and we will see who learned something.” Strike three. Howard took his fist and tried to hit Tony but missed since he was so intoxicated. Tony just barely touched him, and he went swaying and he was down on the ground. Tony leaned down close to his ear. “Think twice because next time I won’t go easy on you, old man.”

Tony sat up on the bed and knew it was time to go. He picked up his phone and knew exactly who to call.

“Tony, it’s one am on a school night.” Steve was fast asleep after working a long shift at the diner across the street. He wished he were still asleep, but no Tony was scheming something that would most likely get one of them in trouble.

“Come on, Steve. I know you were an old man, but I didn’t realize you were eighty. We could go to our spot by the cove. Eat a whole thing of ice cream, butter pecan, and just look at the stars.” Steve knew deep down that the reason Tony was trying to go to their spot was that something happened at home. He didn’t dare ask until Tony was ready to tell him. Sometimes he would get his answer to his non asked questions and other nights it was never brought up.

“Fine but you’re driving. I will be ready in ten. Also, don’t forget to bring a sweatshirt because you keep taking mine and I can’t afford to but new ones.” Tony rolled his eyes.

“I will buy you more for Christmas. What about an MIT one?”

The cove was their spot since they were small children. They met by accident one summer there when both of their families decided to visit at the same time. If it was for that blimp they may have never met. Steve and Tony came from opposite worlds. Tony from a rich family that went to private schools and dressed to the nines. Steve from a struggling single-parent household. All of his clothes were either thrifted or handy downs. Both of the boys knew that each one of them wanted something the other had but Steve knew Tony did a little bit more.

After that moment, the boys were irreparable. When they were young, they would write letters back and forth dreaming about the day where they would see each other again at the cove. When they got older Tony figured out how to get to Steve’s house through Jarvis. Jarvis was happy to learn Tony had a friend his own age. Once they hit their teen years, they spent every weekend at the cove. They both knew it wasn’t normal. They should have been at parties or sports events with their schoolmates, but they found comfort in each other. Steve and Tony only needed one another. It was them against the world.

They sat in silence with only the radio playing. Each taking turns eating a scoop of ice cream.

“Steve, what happens to us when we die?” Steve shrugged. He was raised Catholic and some of the stuff they preach he didn’t agree with. He stared at the stars thinking that each one must be a million years old. He also remembered the night his father died. He ran out of the house screaming, falling to his knees in the grass begging the world to bring his dad back. At the moment he asked he looked up and there was a shooting star.

“We turn into stars.” Tony looked and watched as each one twinkled at a different time. He just nodded his head in agreement. It was comforting to think that one day, even if both of them were gone, Steve would still be right next to him. Sparkling like he always did.

“You know things will change in August.” Steve put down his spoon and turned to look at Tony. Tony just stared forward with a blank look on his face. Steve was worried about him. What happened tonight?

“What do you mean?” Tony still didn’t turn his head.

“I will be in Massachusetts and you will still be here. We will be both be to busy to see each other and the phone calls will get less frequent and then the texts will just stop. We will forget about each other and move on with our lives. You will go on and do wonderful things in architecture and I will most likely be running the family business.” A tear escaped down Tony’s cheek. Steve lifted his hand and wiped it away with his thumb.

“Tony, nothing will change between us.” Tony turned his head and saw his safe place, Steve’s blue eyes. Tony scrunched up his face not to cry.

“But how do you know that Steven?” Steven, Steve thought. Tony never called him that unless something was really wrong.

“Because you are my person and I love you.” Tony leaned onto Steve’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

“You���re my person too. I love you.” That was the last time they talked to each other. Tony’s fears came true and neither of them knew how it was possible.

Tony watched as they lowered the casket into the ground not caring at all. His mother was clinging on his arm crying. He couldn’t know if it was out of sadness or out of relief of finally being free.

“He loved you, Anthony. He just had a weird way of showing it.” Tony patted her arm out of comfort not believing a word.

“Sure mom.”

Steve sat in his office finishing up a blueprint for a new mansion to be built in Martha Vineyards when his secretary came in and dropped a newspaper on his desk. The headline read the merchant of death, Howard Stark, was laid to rest. The nation will miss such a brilliant mind. Steve laid the paper down and picked up the only photograph he had on his desk. It was him with a young brunette. They were only thirteen and was trying to flex for the camera even though neither of them had a single muscle. Steve chuckled and laid down the picture. He grabbed his jacket and left the office knowing actually where he needed to go.

Steve pulled into the cove to see the same brunette he missed for so many years. He turned around when he heard Steve’s truck engine. Steve smiled. His Tony was back after years of being gone. Steve got out of the truck and stood at the front of it giving Tony a smirk. Like a come and get me smile.

“Hi. How did I know you would be here?” Tony ran straight to Steve wrapping his arms tight around him. Tears stained Steve’s shirt. He never knew this moment would happen and here it was after the day he had. Tony pulled back and stared at Steve not believing it was him. He wasn’t his Steve but when he squinted, he could still see the boy he left at the cove.

“He’s finally gone. He can’t hurt me anymore, Steve.” Steve rubbed a hand down his back just like he used to do.

“I know, Tony.” Steve shook with a wave of emotions coming over him. All he ever wanted to do was to protect Tony, but Tony wouldn’t let him, and he respected that. It just hurt knowing that the only way Tony was going to be okay was for that monster to die.

The two men sat in the sand together tangled up in each other’s arms never wanting to let go.

“I really missed you.”

“I did too. What happened after we talked that night Tony?” Howard happened. Once he woke up from his drunken coma, he let Tony have it in not just places where people couldn’t see the marks but also visible ones. As Tony cleaned the wounds that had broke skin clean, Howard was planning for him to be shipped off. He didn’t have a twenty-four-hour notice and he knew if he called Steve and told him what happened he would have found a way to rescue him. Tony couldn’t let Steve see the bruises, so Tony went off to MIT early destined to never see Steve again. He knew he was doing the right thing even if it hurt more then the punches.

Steve just stared at Tony with no expression, but he did pull him in tighter. Tony was right Steve would have sacrificed everything for Tony and he would still do it today because he loved him. Steve lightly kissed Tony’s lips which surprised Tony. He wanted to do this for years, but Tony didn’t want to ruin his friendship with Steve. Tony deepen the kissed feeling relief for the first time in his life.

Steve pulled backbiting his lip. His cheeks were all red and Tony found it really cute. They both stared at each other and busted out laughing.

“Why are we laughing?”

“Because both of us wanted to do that for many years. I knew I did ever since we were fifteen.”

Tony shivered as the wind cut through his dress shirt. Steve noticed and wrapped his jacket around Tony with a smile. “I told you to always bring a jacket. I can’t afford to lose my favorite one.” Tony pulled the jacket tighter to his body knowing he was never going to give it back.

“I will buy you more because I’m keeping this one forever.” Steve kissed Tony one more time and the two lovers watched as the sun went down over the sea knowing this time they wouldn’t lose each other again.