#- tend to not care abt things anymore. or like i still care but in a different way. its not obsessive anymore
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bruh my hands r so sweaty all the time now i need to go to the bathroom 1000x times a day to wash them bc i can't type when they feel icky
#ehhhh i think most of these effects go away with time#other weird effects#- literally zero anxiety now. i have talked to more random strangers in the last two weeks than the last two months#- sex drive almost completely gone (yay!) can't nut anyways#- the tiredness is getting better but idk if its bc im consuming more coffee. brain fog etc etc#- way more relaxed with spending oops#- freaky ass dreams and also wake up 5 times a night (getting better tho)#- compulsive smiling#- havent hurt myself in 3 weeks#- tend to not care abt things anymore. or like i still care but in a different way. its not obsessive anymore#so it was literally all a chemical imbalance thing for me#milk struggle tweets
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sometimes life is boohoo sad and then ur mom brings u back a creamy mango lemonade freeze with mango boba and hello kitty halloween spa things and suddenly u are woohoo glad
#it is not even a little bit frozen anymore but it’s SO GOOD i don’t even care#i accidentally killed a frog last night and got locked out of the house and had to throw pebbles at my window until my sister noticed#and then she teased me and called me a murderer for accidentally killing the frog and that made me feel like an EVIL PERSON#so that was traumatising#also the hot guy on hinge who said i was ‘very very cute’ & looked like i walked right out of a disney movie & was asking abt my hobbies#and almost accurately guessed my meyers briggs except for one letter i think is ghosting me#which i guess was to be expected bc we have like Nothing in common and both matched on looks alone…. still#i’d hoped to get a Little more fun out of it first#aaaand what else…… my room is a mess i have a million things to do & instead i’m sitting on the couch with my neck pillow reading fic#and i think. i THINK. i am done descending into a hole of depression. and i might have the strength to at least sit still for a minute#before attempting to climb back out#i am still very sad about a lot of things and i still feel tired and helpless and anxious and all sorts of things but#it feels like something i recognise again as opposed to some eldritch beast taking over my body#maybe it’s because i cooked yesterday that tends to help. maybe it’s experiencing emotion vicariously through little fictional guys#something like that. also the road in the neighbourhood was repaved today#a new path ahead of me it seems.#anyway if u see this pls come tell me about ur day ! i want to connect with other humans
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i find it interesting that this little revived dsmp era doesnt really talk about c!wilbur as a character anymore because obviously the issues with cc!wilbur (ALSO FOR THE RECORD I DO NOT FUCKIBG SUPPORT HIM AT ALL)
but like genuinely he’s actually one of the most interestingly written characters on the server (might i say the most interesting?) and like. even though cc!wilbur is a piece of shit i still think he was a brilliant writer and his character on the smp changed my life kinda
i think people tend to conflate character morality/character writing flaws/character likeabilty/creator’s status and while those things can influence each other its not like those are the same thing
i definitely feel like after his revival he became a little bit less interesting, i think ghostbur was kind of unnecessary and i also think his ending was incredibly underwhelming, but the recontextualisation of his character and relationship with quackity with tntduo was an absolutely insane move
honestly i kinda also feel like cc!wilbur being a dick irl makes me kind of reexamine c!wilbur’s character and overall arc in a whole new light, like both within his character flaws and writing flaws — i wouldnt call it wasted potential because i genuinely dont think this could have gone any other way
anyways all im saying is, if you truly want to make dsmp separate from the ccs, please dont be afraid to make more content of c!wil lol. like. dont rewrite history or whatever. i hardly even think abt cc!wilbur these days and i didnt really care for him back then, but just because hes outed as a dick now doesnt mean his art didnt have an impact on you back then
sometimes bad people make good art and thats okay
what matters is what you take out of it
#dsmp#thats a tag i havent put up in a while#wilbur dsmp#c!wilbur#dream smp#PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU CAN WE TALK ABOUT C!WILBUR AGAIN#…anyways go read hitting on 16 again#CAN WE STOP PRETENDING THAT WASNT PEAK
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bonnyy cld be get an off duty drabble w oc admiring jk's body mods im so curious abt them🤥
Jungkook has always had his body mods ever since you've known him.
He's never told you how or why he got them- but from what you know about other people's mods, and considering how and where they're placed, you've got an idea as to what their purpose is inside his body.
The back of his neck and his spine is covered by silver metal, a little scratched from the timeframe they've been in place, but overall still in mint condition. You know he's had them for quite some time now, and you've also heard from conversations that he's had them after an 'incident' at work.
So, during his police service, he must've been involved in something that caused him to need the mods now. But, you shouldn't be nosy, right? It's his past, not yours. And he's made it clear that he doesn't really want to have anything to do with you past normal partnership for work purposes.
You tend to forget that sometimes, especially when he's nicer to you than usual.
Right now, you're poking your head around your bedroom door, when he notices you, chuckling a bit. "What's up?" He asks, and you look into the kitchen for a second, before you mumble something. "Hm?" He asks, walking closer to hear you better.
"...can I have something to snack on.?" You wonder quietly, tail tucked between your legs and ears turned downwards. It's normal- you feel bad right now, because you've both been working overtime today, and he'd asked you twice on the way home if you wanted to eat something- which you denied in those moments, thinking that it would just bother him too much.
But you're horribly hungry, stomach growling in complaint.
"Aish, I asked you, didn't I?" He sighs, running a hand through his still damp hair from the shower, before he laughs. "Come on then, I'll warm up some leftovers." He invites you, letting you follow him into the kitchen.
You sit at the table, watching him move around, kitchen light reflecting off the silver body modifications on his neck and back. The clock is ticking and the microwave buzzes while he heats up your leftover dinner from yesterday, before he turns around, catching you staring.
"You can ask, you know." He says, arms crossed in front of his upper bare body, only sweatpants covering him.
"...but I shouldn't." You answer, leaning your chin on your arms on the table. "It's yours." You say.
"I mean, yeah, they're obviously mine. But you can still ask about them." He shrugs.
"...what're they for?" You ask because of that.
"Keep me moving." He simply answers. "The spinal one-" He says, sitting down close to you at the kitchen table so you can see them better. "-connects up here, to the one on my neck." He taps the metal, and you look at them in wonder. You've never seen them up close like this. "Without them, I wouldn't be able to move anymore." He shrugs off, and you look at him as if you want to ask further- but you don't.
"Not one bit?" You ask, and he chuckles.
"Not one bit." He offers. "But I got them, and they work well. So it's no big deal."
"Do you.. is it different with them?" You ask. "Like, do you feel different?" You wonder, and he moves his shoulders a bit, thinking.
"A little." He nods. "My hands feel numb sometimes when it's cold. And I have to be careful not to break them. Won't kill me- but I'd be a breathing corpse, basically." He laughs-
but you're not finding any of it funny.
There's an odd protectiveness bubbling up in you now. Feeding you the need to really have his back now- literally, and figuratively. Because, while you'd never admit it to not overcomplicate things, or put any burden or pressure on him-
You love him.
As more than just a partner.
#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fic#jungkook imagine#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook imagine#hybrid imagine#bts jungkook imagine#jungkook fanfic#bts jungkook fanfic#bts jungkook x reader#jungkook x reader
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@evilkaeya @aaabatteryy @starrynightarchive
see my other post about this here
to tl;dr this: when it comes to fandom and content creators, ppl tend to make content of the characters they already love and thus think about most often, which leads to, at times, male characters getting genderbent into women either thru cis or trans hcs, bc they are both genderbending, thats the definition of the term bc youre changing their gender, and getting mad at people for not, in your opinion, "appreciating" the female characters enough, is not doing anything except making people feel bad for not having the "correct" feelings about a character at best, or making them actively angry and thus fueling them to create more of that thing you hate out of spite at worst (for you anyway, not for the people who like it).
this doesnt mean they dont give a shit abt the other characters who arent their faves, but to create a work of art, you need to be able to like. care enough to do it. and that requires more care than just a general enjoyment or appreciation of a character, especially if the work in question is time intensive/would be time intensive, like writing a chapter fic/thousands of words long oneshot, or making a fully rendered piece of art, etc. obvi this will depend on the skill and energy levels of the artist we're talking about but yknow, on a general scale
op of this post blocked me so i cant respond directly on it but, for context
first of all: i'm not illiterate but i'm beginning to think some people on this post might be, given this response, because it is so clearly Not what i was talking about it's a little wild, actually!
also i hate to tell yall this, but the reason you don't often see people genderbending female characters to male anymore is bc of the spread of radfem ideology thru fandom spaces like wildfire. ppl genuinely lose their shit when ppl even have transmasc or trans man headcanons for characters assumedly cis female in the source material (which is genderbending btw. them being trans doesnt mean it isnt genderbending anymore you are still changing their gender thus it is genderbending thats the definition fellas) bc they fucking hate men and the idea of men existing
sorry not sorry but if you get mad at ppl who genderbend female characters into transmascs/trans men (transmascs aren't always genderbends, bc you can be transmasc and also a woman, but i digress/for the sake of brevity...) and go "you're TAKING AWAY a GOOD FEMALE CHARACTER!" i need you to stop for a second and consider why these people - most of whom are trans men/transmascs themselves - might be doing that to a character they like.
9/10 times when i see a cis genderbend of a male character to be female, the person doing it is a cis woman. when i see genderbends, of any kind, of a female character to be male or masc? it's almost always done by a trans man and/or a transmasc. and inevitably, they are almost always dogpiled for it with disgusting levels of hate. i've seen it happen so many times i stopped attempting to count a long time ago
don't come up here saying "you NEVER see-" because actually i see all of those things happen all the time. ppl love genderbending men characters into women, or emasculating/demasculinizing/feminizing them in order to make them personally more appealing, or saying "[mlm ship] would be better if it was two girls/wlw/two fem-aligned/etc" all the fucking time. and while i realize this is often a way for the people who say this to like, try to lash out at common misogynistic/lesbiphobic/transmisogynistic/etc sentiment irl, in doing so, they are not doing it in a way that allows for a nuanced understanding of their fellow fandom-goers. they make blanket sweeping statements and then dogpile people who disagree
the moment you start treating entire demographics of people as if they are a hivemind or a single identity, the moment you decide that something "never" happens bc you personally have not seen it? youve already lost any possible chance you mightve had at making a good point
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wolfstar hcs pls? miss you talking abt them :(
- Sirius is 6’0 and Remus is 6’1 (not fussed about a huge height difference anymore)
- whenever they go on dates Sirius picks Remus up on the motorbike just to see him blush, he finds it really hot
- and Sirius is an absolute gentleman with Remus but he’s still a menace
- they’re switches and verses but Sirius tends to be more dominant
- I love the hc that Hope and Lyall own a bakery or a cafe so Remus works there on the weekends for his own money and to help his parents but Sirius is a wealthy boy so he’s basically his sugar daddy lmao
- they discussed it before hand and at first Remus was embarrased but Sirius told him it’s not that he thinks he can’t afford things, but he loves taking care of Remus and enjoys spending money on him
- they live in a penthouse rn but it’s remus’ dream to have a little cottage somewhere in brighton or Cornwall, and Sirius vows to buy them one eventually
- they have a pet rabbit, Snow, that Remus adores
- Sirius probably owns a bar or something, I feel like I’m modern day muggle au’s his parents own property and a lot of businesses and he bought a bar with his inheritance
- he lets his mates in for free lmao
- he has a car but they only take it out for longer journeys
- Remus has a knee brace and a cane when his knee gets bad
- Sirius is always making sure he’s stable and okay, he carries pain killers on him every single day
- Sirius definitely has depression from his upbringing and just in general, he has bad trauma, and has night terrors sometimes that only Remus has seen
- Remus hugs him so tight when this happens, or when he’s having a low day, and makes him soup and tea and stroked his hair and just hums songs like his own mum used to do when he was little
- Sirius is very loud and boisterous when he’s in public but he’s softer and quieter with Remus when he’s relaxed
- anime lover Remus, my beloved, gets Sirius into so many shows and they have a Crunchyroll account that they go through daily and they curl up on the sofa together
- Sirius loves wine and has one of those fancy ass wine chillers in his kitchen island
- they host a lot of parties and dinners bevause Remus loves being a host and a lil house husband, Sirius thinks it’s so sexy but also sweet and he gives him so many kisses as thanks
- I won’t go nsfw rn just in case that’s not what you wanted but I’m always down to make an nsfw post
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ok so i was actually kinda surprised to find that looking at the ao3 stats and adjusting for how long ofmd’s existed (a year and a half) vs how long the stucky fandom’s been around (coming up on a decade), not only is gentlebeard on par with stucky but it actually beats stucky for amount of fics written. but i’m making a prediction now just based on how i’ve observed fandoms to work: i do think the gentlebeard popularity will peter out faster than stucky did
i’m not saying bc i think gentlebeard is worse or the ofmd fandom is weak or anything, i’m saying this bc in fandom it seems like the white masc queerbait ships* have like, an absurd amount of longevity that goes way beyond the general fandom surrounding whatever media said white masc queerbait ship hails from. im thinking abt the protagonist/rival ship from the TERF wizard series that nobody decent talks about in public anymore. before we all cut jkr out of our lives, people were still churning out fics abt the main character and that racist blond kid pretty regularly. and another example, we have those scientists from pacific rim that are more popular than any of the main characters from that movie. it’s been years and the newt/hermann fandom is still going strong.
and i say “newt/hermann fandom” intentionally, bc that’s the thing that i think actually gives these ships their longevity: when there are fans who are primarily invested in a piece of media because of a noncanonical masc4masc queerbait ship, they’re not really fans of the media itself. i mean, some of them might be, but if they are then that’s in addition to being fans of this alternate queer interpretation of the media in question. they’re a fan of the fandom mass hallucination that the fans collectively and collaboratively invented of a romantic/sexual/homoerotic relationship between two guys who on-screen might hug like once or twice (or sometimes even never)
and i’m pretty sure the reason this sort of fandom phenomenon tends to have so much longevity is bc the fans have already created this whole extensive romantic storyline using what is often some pretty minimal canonical material to work with. so when the movie franchise or the tv show ends and the shippers no longer have any new canonical material to work with, they can keep going for years because really, they were already making shit up from the start.
so compared to that, gentlebeard is way different bc everything the fans might have invented on our own the show pretty much already did for us, and anything the show didn’t do yet is probably coming for us this season (or in s3, fingers crossed). i’ve mentioned before how a lot of fanfiction seems to fall on a spectrum between “fix” and “expand,” and by the end of ofmd i doubt there’s gonna be a whole lot that gentlebeard fans feel like they need to “fix.” versus stucky, where there’s so much that needs to be fixed that you might as well just throw the whole canon out.
i don't really mean any of this as a criticism or an attack on fans of queerbait ships like this, im just pointing out fandom trends that i've noticed. i myself have been deeply invested in stucky, newmann, and the gay wizard boys at different points in my life. like there is something very fun abt putting on slash goggles and making queer content out of nothing. personally though, now that we're in an age where we're getting canon queer content, im not so engaged in a lot of the ships i used to care so much about, but i don't think it's inherently wrong** for people to still enjoy some classic fandom queerbait ships. it's just a very different thing from enjoying canonical queer ships like gentlebeard
*im using “queerbait ships” loosely to include popular gay ships in media that was never in a million years going to make these characters gay.
**a clarifying point: i don't think it's inherently wrong, however there are a lot of problematic elements to this kind of fandom activity, namely the way a lot of these queerbait ships will dominate a fandom while other characters who are important in canon get completely sidelined (and yes, the sidelined characters are often women/poc). also, less importantly, when people's primary media consumption revolves around strip mining canon for shipping content, this absolutely destroys their media literacy and critical thinking. again, im not saying this to attack ppl who engage in fandom primarily through fic/art of noncanonical gay ships, i myself have done the same thing. but i think ppl who do should also make a conscious effort to also engage with fan content that centers women/poc, or at the very least need to be aware of the issues around this kind of fandom activity.
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plz ignore this if it's annoying or you don't want to answer questions like these abt your fan fic anymore, but what would have happened if Paz was alive during the "main" part of The Cabin in the Woods ? Like, let's say that instead og having died Paz simply ended up in a coma while losing her unborn kid. She stays in that coma long enough for Quaritch to lose total custody of Spider. How would she react to waking up ? How would Quaritch and Spider react to her waking up ?
Not annoying at all! I love getting questions about my fics! And I think this is such an interesting concept.
So if Paz lived but was in a coma and Quaritch still went after the drunk driver that hit her, went to prison and lost custody of Spider, first and foremost he’d be Paz’s caretaker when he got out of jail. He’d have a whole set up for taking care of her in their bedroom and teach himself everything he needed to know to best care for her. He knows there’s only a slim chance she’ll ever wake up but it’s a chance he’s willing to take.
When Quaritch puts his plan into action he takes Paz up to the cabin first. Z watches over her while Quaritch is off kidnapping Spider. The first thing Quaritch does when Spider wakes up is show him his mom. Spider had never gotten a chance to visit her before since Quaritch was her care taker and Spider had a restraining order against him. So it hits him really hard to see her. If it wasn’t for all the monitors it’d be like she’s just sleeping. But then his dad lifts the covers and shows him his mother’s mangled torso, thick red scares trailing up and down her stomach like rivers. Spider doesn’t even know how someone could survive something like that. And it infuriates him seeing the damage that was done, knowing that his mom might never wake up but still having a little hope that she might. It instantly gives him a shred of sympathy towards his dad because yeah the bastard that put his mom in a coma definitely deserved it.
Because Quaritch hopes that Paz will wake up one day, he doesn’t go about breaking down Spider in the same way he does in Cabin. Because he knows damn well that if Paz woke and saw that shit he’d be dead and buried so damn fast. So Spider gets locked in his room at night and is free to walk the house during the day though the front door is locked. Anything he could possibly use for escape is locked up and hidden. He picks fights with his dad all the time both verbal and physical. Quaritch doesn’t yell back during the verbal fights but he can come up with some extremely cutting clap backs that have nearly made Spider cry on multiple occasions. The physical fights definitely don’t go well for Spider either. Spider may be taller than his dad and packed with muscle but Quaritch is stronger and more skilled. Quaritch never hits Spider just puts him in a hold until he calms down.
The only time they’re civil with each other is when Spider is helping Quaritch take care of Paz. Spider does everything he’s told without a word. They’ll both sit with her. Talk to her. Quaritch will say how happy he is to be a family again. How she’ll be just as proud of their son as he is when she wakes up. Spider sits there, all his father’s compliments feeling like slaps to the face. He’s boiling mad and wants to hurl insults at his father but something about being in his mother’s presence makes him bite his tongue. It’s when Quaritch leaves him alone with Paz that he’ll talk to his mom. He’s cried over her a few times, wishing she was awake, admitting that he’s so scared, that he wants to go home. He even wonders aloud if his mother would approve of this. If she’d be just as bad as his father. After all they are husband and wife. Quaritch always eavesdrops on these conversations.
It’s such an amazing day when Paz wakes up. Father and son are tending to her needs, Spider is just kinda idly chatting with his mom, (“hi mama, how are you? Same as yesterday? I get that. I’ve been doing the same thing for weeks because of your shit psycho husband…” ) when Paz’s finger twitches. Father and son pause, both in disbelief over what they think they saw. Then Paz’s whole hand moves, her eyelids fluttering. Quaritch and Spider are holding their breath. And then she opens her eyes. Quaritch rushes to her side, taking her hand. He’s so deliriously happy that this day has finally come but also terrified that her mind might be gone after the accident. “Darlin’.” Paz is so confused. With her other hand she touches his face as if making sure he’s real. Quaritch closes his eyes relishing the touch he feared he might never feel again. “Honey? What happened.” Her voice is so hoarse from disuse but her words are clear. Both Spider and Quaritch sighed with relief. “There was…a car accident. You were hit by a drunk driver. You’ve been in a coma…for a real long time.” Paz is in complete shock. She looks around the room, her gaze falling on Spider. “Who’s that.” There’s a hint of fear in her voice because deep down she already knows but doesn’t want it to be true. Quaritch beckons Spider forward. The teen is too in shock to do anything but comply, letting his father take him by the arm and gently lead him closer. “I know this’ll be a shock. But it’s Miles jr. This is our son.”
Paz stares at him in total bewilderment. Her breath hitches as she reaches towards him with shaking hand. “No,” she gasps out her sobs starting in full force. “No. My baby. My baby…” Spider breaks down hearing her calling him that and practically falls right into her hands. She strokes his cheek and it fills him with more emotions than he can name, “I missed so much..” an anguished scream rips from Paz’s throat. She’s so utterly heartbroken to have missed seeing her son growing up. She also knows without having to be told that the son she was pregnant with is dead. Otherwise her husband would have called him in. She wept for both her children clutching her remaining son close as they both sob onto the other’s shoulder.
So big bittersweet family reunion. Once everything calms down Quaritch asks Spider to help him get some food going so they can have a celebratory feast. In the kitchen Quaritch throws on some music so that Paz can’t overhear the whispered conversation he has with his son, “do not tell your mama why we’re here, y’a got me? She’s been through enough today and she’s already weak enough as is.”
“What the hell do you plan on telling her!”
“The truth.”
Spider scoffs, “your truth. Not the truth.”
“Are y’a gonna do as your told or do we need to go downstairs and have a lengthier discussion.” Spider doesn’t want to find out what’s in the basement but more importantly he doesn’t want to stress his mother out and possibly put her back in her coma in her weak state. So he goes along with it for now. When his mom is stronger he’ll tell her the real truth.
So Paz has to go through a lot of physical therapy. Quaritch had Ja come up to do a physical on her and he pronounced that other then the severe muscle deterioration Paz was actually in good health. All her vitals sounded good and she wasn’t in any pain anywhere. Quaritch helps her slowly build her strength back, doting on his wife like crazy. Spider is always by her side, wanting to talk to her, get to know her, soaking up all the love his mama gives him. He sees how his father treats her, like she’s his queen, and he can’t help himself from smiling over it. His parents are just so happy together. And because Spider doesn’t want to upset his mom he plays the loyal son, talking openly with his dad, all smiles. He lets his dad ruffle his hair, pat him on the shoulder and even hug him. And as the days go by being a “happy family” Spider starts to forget it’s not real. The first time he got caught in the moment, losing himself to his feelings of safety, contentment, and love, he jolts back all emotions leaving him as he reminds himself, he’s your kidnapper and a murderer. Soon he starts losing himself multiple times a day. Then catching himself starts having less impact. And soon he’s taking walks in the woods, laughing with his parents as his dad pushed his mom in a wheelchair. Talking about his day with his parents at the dinner table as they enjoy a home cooked meal. Letting his dad help him with his homework. Sitting with his mom as she brushes and braids his hair for the day.
And then it’s time to tell Paz the “truth”. They’re all gathered around the table. Quaritch prepped Paz by telling her there was something really important for her to know. Something they’d kept from her until she was stronger. “After your accident I went after the man who hurt you. I nearly killed him. I went to jail for one year.” Paz wasn’t the least bit surprised by this. “The courts didn’t let Z or Lyle take custody of Miles,” “What!” Paz is pissed. “They took custody from me when I got out. When I knew the courts would never give him back to me, I took matters into my own hands. This cabin is built on top of a mountain. No one will ever find us here. I never stopped lookin’ out for Junior when he was in the system. We talked even though I wasn’t allowed near him,” Spider’s eyes widened. “Once I finally finished this place I brought you here, then I told Junior all about it. A place where we could be a family. He was more than happy to run away from his shitty foster family.” So this is his “truth” Spider had to admit it was a nice way of selling their isolation to his mother.
His mom turns to him, “is that true?”
Say no, part of him screams. But then what would happen. His mom was still too weak to walk. And his father had made it clear plenty of times that Spider was no match for him. If he revealed the truth and Quaritch got violent he wouldn’t be able to defend his mother. So he forces a smile and says, “yeah ma, it’s true.”
Paz smiles, “It’s almost like the whole world wanted to tear our family apart. Well fuck the world. We won! We’re together now. Nothing will ever tear us apart again.”
Father and son side eye each other. “Yeah ma,” Spider says, “nothing at all.”
Thank you so much for the question! This was a really fun concept for me so I hope you enjoyed it.💙
#spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles quaritch#colonel miles quaritch#paz socorro#cabin in the woods
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xxx whining abt my friend AGAIN
decided not to send a draft of a breakup text to my friend yet cuz i fear i am being too hasty and impulsive with this. but i rly don't know what to do... i feel very lost and i dont want to end a 8-9 year friendship over this. but we've already talked about it once a couple months ago and i dont rly feel like anything has changed. i am just worried that she is going to leave first and in my mind i'd rather rip the bandaid off myself and spare myself more prolonged pain lol.
i think the two of us have extremely different social needs and expectations/wants out of a "best" friendship and i'm not sure its something that can be reconciled?? like we may just be 2 fundamentally different ppl and aren't compatible anymore. i think it would be unfair of me to expect her to change, cuz she is a very introverted person that likes her alone time, or so she says. she also is busy with work, which i understand. she just seems completely chill/unbothered with only hanging out once every 2-3 months, sometimes longer, and virtually never talking via phone or text (cuz she doesn't respond when i reach out LOL). i want to be sensitive to her comfortability levels, her social battery, and take into account that there other ppl and things that she has going on in her life. like ik i'm not the center of the universe u know what i mean?... but it also sucks to miss my friend so so much and feel like im the only one that seems to mind our lack of contact, that when we eventually hang out months later she'll tell me about all these hangouts that she's been having with other people, and that it takes her several days or weeks to respond to a simple text and then she offers no explanation. i dont feel like i am asking for much, but yet i still feel guilty for even daring to feel unfulfilled by our friendship. i just want some kind of indication that she misses my presence, but in the past she's mentioned that she doesn't feel that way about anybody unless its romantic so lol i guess.
when i brought it up 2ish months ago she reassured me that she values our friendship and that this is just how she is, so i want to take her at her word but it feels like her words and actions aren't matching up... i really hate how this feels cuz my sadness feels so unjustified and selfish in my mind. it's not like we're in a relationship or anything so by her standards i shouldn't care this much... but damn is this just how best friendships are as an adult fr?? cuz this feels like i don't have a best friend at all most of the time. it feels so lonely that i just want to cry its pathetic lol. so much happens in the months we dont speak that it feels like i am not even a part of her life when i just want us to be closer. it's like we're slowly becoming strangers. i think i tend to center best friends in my life in a way that has never been reciprocated, that even when they say they consider me their best friend im always an afterthought lol. i just want to feel secure and appreciated in a friendship lol
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drawing/explanation of buffy and/or dawn summers scars/design? i love ur willow and i want to know how u think abt buffy & dawn
ah thank youuu!!! I love to talk designs so I will do my best, I haven5 done any refrence sheet with either of them and def have less hcs cause well willow is the center of my brain but I do very much have thoughts. (I’ve got a criminally low amount of Dawn drawings despite the fact she’s my second favourite character)
doing a lil cut off cause it’s prob gonna be a lot of text, warning self harm mention at the Dawn part!!!
so starting with buffy. Some little details include that I draw her with moles cause they’re pretty and I like having more texture on the skin when I draw it, I draw her with a tooth gap cause it’s cute and fun, aswell as curly hair cause she has it every now and then but mainly cause I loveeeee drawing curly hair aswell as bc my bf has curly hair and buffy makes me think of her so yeah :) as well as shark bites every now and then bc of the same reason. I loveee drawing her with bandanas as well as whatever those things she wears in the drawing below are called.
Onto scars I don’t have many that specific ones. I don’t have her like injuries as memorized as I do willows and also yk slayer healing. Face scars I only really draw her with one, that being an eyebrow scar she got after getting a piercing in s4 that IMMEDIATELY got ripped out on patrol (willow took care of it, Joyce didn’t even have time to panic over the piercing before having the scar as her whole new problem)
i often draw her with scars on her knuckles cause punching and/or bandaids on them and her fingers, the bandaids on her fingers are also partly cause well splinters, preventory measure. I often draw her with bandages and bandaids on the rest of her body too. They aren’t often that needed or needed for a long time but still, keeping the wounds from infection.
other than that i tend to give her the scar from when she was shot in seeing red (tho im thinking about making it like, look less like a normal scar since it was healed with like, really strong dark magic). And then just small and big random scars that don’t really have specific connections (she can’t herself remember when she got most of them. Too many fights. Too many scars, they become insignificant, but there's still too many, she knows that much)
as you can probably notice I loveee enhancing Buffys childish whimsy cause she lost a lot of her more so teenage years than childhood-childhood and I like to let her just breathe
Onto Dawn, my dearest, everyone’s little sister.
she has a tooth gap just like her sister as well as mini mini canine looking teeth like some people (Michelle trachtenberg included) have.
draw her hair mostly straight but I’d probably say it’s at least wavy, I at least used to draw her with vitiligo and Marie Antoinette syndrome and I’m not sureee about that head-canon anymore but I still like it, so it’s 50-50
she also has freckles!!!!
For scars I really don’t have much check on canon injuries with her but I’ve got some
She has scars from when glory opened/tried to open the portal in the gift, it serves as a reminder of what happened also logically speaking she’d just simply probably keep those scars
she still has her scar from blood ties, but other than that I hc that she’s had a continued problem with sh so therefore just like with willow, she has multiple sh scars on mainly her arms.
Her eyes stares into your soul so bad. Get contact lenses /j
#buffy summers#dawn summers#i adoreeeee them#Pzyii answers#Btvs#btvs rambles#buffy the vampire slayer#pzyii arts
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tell the class all your favorite parts about sova maybe? like what made you really fall for him and all of that!
ok this also might get long i am sorry. thank u for the ask tho its nice to hvae smth to do. either way uhh lets get started
ok so i might have mentioned this but i had a small crush on him a few years ago? i think since like 2022. back then i shipped with cypher and was super fixated on him but i think sova was always in the back of my brain as a crush, although at the time i only had him as a platonic. also cuz one of my good friends who doesnt anymore used to ship with him so i didnt wanna overstep or anything.
anyways im not even sure how i suddenly decided to latch onto him, i think my fixation on yone at the time was starting to fade and my brain just randomly chose to fixate on him even tho he was still a crush at the back of my brain lol. and look where we are now/lh
as for what i like abt him, i think one of the biggest things i like is how polite he is/kind to others. i think thats like a rlly important trait in someone for me if i were like to date someone else and hes just rlly nice in general and very lovely, hes such a big sweetheart :)
also ok im gonna sound crazy here but my friends keep saying im a circle bcuz he rlly fits one of my types which is like the holy trinity of yone vergil and wyll. who are all like, responsible, serious, yet like kind and deeply caring. and sova definitely fits into that archetype haha even though hes not exactly the same?? most of those guys arent exactly the same but theres a huge overlap of similarity with them.
i do also think he is very pretty even tho he is unfortunately white/lh :') (or at least i smacked this guy with the asian beam. get wasian'd) idk i suck at explaining exactly why i like this guy, again i think a big part of it is how kind he is to others!! its again just smth i rlly value in a partner, he genuinely cares about others/esp people hes close to like his grandma. and is very thoughtful. also i like that hes super down to earth and humble like this guy is incredibly talented yet never brags about it at all hes just very modest. smug people drive me nuts so im glad hes not like that lol. he also is very passionate abt his interests like archery and also he does photography! i like to think he also does things like hiking, birdwatching and maybe some gardening in his spare time. idk its a shame we dont get too too much info about val characters although the lore is always constantly growing. i do think he does like lots of outdoorsy hobbies hes very respectful to and attuned with nature i think.
sorry this is getting so long omg. im trying to think of any last things to throw in... i think another thing i rlly love abt him is how calm he is. it kinda balances me out bcuz i tend to be a really hotheaded person but it takes a LOT for him to get bothered by something, or at least lose his temper. in the lore we've never really seen him lose his temper or anything like that? the closest it's gotten is that one image when they were releasing fade where it was like a flashback to him losing his eye and he looked super animalistic. actually i think that in general for him to get that mad or whatever it would probably have to involve one of his loved ones being in danger. which is nice bcuz it shows that he rlly cares.
anyways this is getting so long so i will cut it short but i love my wife <3
#ask#answered#srry for the insane ramble#thank u for da ask tho!!#i love my wife <3#ky shut up#my post#ship: walk on memories
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1, 6, 9 for hapax and fuller, 15 for vexo??
hiii echo sorry this took so long i had to think v hard abt the last one.
1) Does your OC have a voice claim, if so who?
oooh i have never actually thought abt that!!! so no not really, the extent of my knowledge abt their voices is that they both have deeper voices as they are both transfem.
6) If your OC is in a fantasy setting, what profession would they be in the modern day?
Fuller would be basically the same i think but with forcibly improved ethics standards. i think it would be funny to force her to be at a university, she'd be the world's fucking worst P.I. (thinking of my own thesis PI who gave me tasks WILDLY unsuitable for an undergrad student & also was once spotted eating a frozen pizza hunched over the kitchen sink in the middle of the night).
Hapax... honestly given that Hapax is just kind of floating in "canon" with no real drive (she's working for the Reef initially bc it's where she was rezzed, she's a killing machine bc that's what she was Made To Be as a guardian, and she's good at the work and takes pride in it but not driven), i don't think she's the type at all to have her career be her life in any way (healthier, i think). given her utter lack of people skills and general disinterest in a lot of what others care about, she very well might work nights as a janitor.
meet cute(?) where Hapax is trying to fucking clean and gets jumpscared by Fuller still in the lab building at some ungodly hour. i'd never put my girls in the real world though it would be so bad for them :( that house meme but it's like "no! ordinary society will kill the patients! they need life or death stakes and violence to live"
9) How does your OC handle their physical health? Do they take care of themselves?
Hapax takes care of herself decently well! she's got stuff to do and she can't do it if she's not maintaining herself, and she gets satisfaction out of things done well. she loves maintaining her gear (her guns especially) and doesn't regard herself much differently. she's not the type to take a lot of breaks, but she also won't work herself to the bone.
Fuller has never taken care of herself a day in her life. girl runs on whatever horrible fucked up energy drinks they make in the scifi future and like. full meal replacement bars. when she gets fixated on or excited about a new idea, she tends to work nonstop until she physically can't stay awake anymore.
honestly its kind of an interesting mirror where both view themselves as things they need to maintain to do what needs doing, but for Hapax that's a task worth doing in its own right and a neutral thing, but for Fuller having to take the time to do that is frustrating and trivial.
15) Will your OC ever retire? Do you see them making it?
i dont knowww i have to decide. i think so. or something like it. id like to see it make it. i only want characters to be miserable if its their own fault and none of this is its fault.
i think id like to see it fall to maya-as-the-conductor's call and join with the vex expecting that sense of belonging and become part of that expansive all-encompassing multifaceted Self that it remembers and then realize actually it wants to be itself, as fucked up and messy and lonely and hard as it is to be a human, or something very like one. i think that's when it will choose a name beyond its experimental designation (which i need to decide. probably R-[something] for Radiolaria Trial [number] Test Subject No. [number] or something?) bc that's when it will start thinking of itself as a person. ive been listening to a lot of music doing aisle resets at work and i think Human by of monsters and men is a good song for it.
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hi!
i saw ur recent post :) i know nothing abt dc and booster gold but what sort of superhero is booster gold?? feel free to ramble hehe
ooh this is interesting. you see people tend to stereotype booster as either a time travelling hero, or a self absorbed sell out. and sure hes got elements of both, but he is way more than that
he kinda acts like a classic golden hero -- I mean he took a lot of inspiration from superman originally -- but he does sponsorships and advertisements and whatever because he was also a football player before, and athletes do that all the time, and he figured why dont superheroes do that? and that's the thing that most people dont understand -- both in canon (either intentionally, like in the original booster gold comics, or unintentionally like newer stuff or when he gets represented in shows a lot) and just in the general fanbase -- hes perceived as shallow and barely a hero, if anything just a laughingstock. but at his core, hes selfless and he wants to help people. he likes money, sure, he loves being rich, but he also grew up poor, so it doesnt take that big of an adjustment when he loses his funds. basically, booster gold is very heroic and can be very selfless, hes just kind of perceived as a glory hound
and then the time travelling element is fun, but I don't really like it as his main focus. nowadays hes just brought in because theres time travel involved, but I much prefer his original time aspect presented in booster gold 1986 and time masters 1990, in my opinion the aspect of him always meant to time travel back, as well as the methods of travel and the rules put in place. going to the 80s and saving people, as well as just being stuck there because the time sphere broke (and not being able to time travel instantaneously) and then we he did get to time travel forward he learned that 1) you can only use each time travel method once, which adds a fun barrier to time travel but still makes it fun and 2) he was always intended to go to the 80s and save the president, which also adds a build up to what happens in time masters which expands more on time travel and ties these two elements together in a way I really enjoy. him discovering that being booster gold, the hero, is his destiny is also a plotline I really enjoy. I feel by removing this element and restriction of time travel it kind of removes his important character arc with this
but also, the other thing that drives his character is his lack of secret identity. nobody knows his real name, sure, but he doesnt have a real real name anyway. he lives as booster gold, not as a "michael jon carter" (which he does not!! go by btw). his identity is tied so strongly to being a superhero he doesnt know how to live without it. when he loses his suit or even just power in his suit, he has no idea what to do. in booster gold #13 when his suit is drained of power and hes injured and sickly from the previous issue, he is so glad to get his flight ring back even if it's just a hint of his previous powers, and the entire time he is just struggling without the powers he was accustomed to because of the suit. on top of that, the issues in #25 that he has from not being a hero, where he doesn't know how to live normally but also considers going back to the 25th century because he cant live in the 20th century anymore (for multiple reasons) but that was also when he has to accept that being booster gold is his destiny, and he cant get rid of it (he doesnt know how)
anyways I dont know if this makes sense at all or actually answers your question but I just think that booster gold and like how he is perceived by the public and by himself is very interesting and I just love a hero who's secret identity is so tied up in being a hero (where they dont even have a secret identity) that they don't know how to not be a hero, especially when its tied with being a celebrity and having fame and wealth, while also caring deeply about being a hero and helping (if I had a nickel...) idk i just love that kind of hero
#“feel free to ramble about booster gold” well dont mind if i do#i can always ramble about booster#idk if this is what you meant by what kind of hero#because this kind of broke down his character a lot#but for all i know you couldve meant like is he a superpowered alien like superman or a non powered vigilante like batman#in which it would be that he doesnt have powers himself but he gets powers from his suit and ring that he stole from a museum from the#25th century and time traveled back to the 20th century to be a hero and have a fresh start#so he is a superhero that works in metropolis that relies on his suit for power#but also can work his way rhrough problems without it#like yes the suit is an important part of his identity but he is not useless without it#and he is very smart
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for the "uncommon questions" ask meme- 4 and 5 for elyon?
aaa ty sam! ^^
4. How easy is it to earn their trust?
oh very easily, elyon tends to assume the best in the peope he meets, that people are good as a whole, etc. helps that being the prince means people are generally nice and accomodating to do you X] he's definitely a little bt naive in that regard, but i also think its an endearinng trait bless him gkjsdnjgksd,
5.How easy is it to earn their mistrust?
OHOHOHO, GOOD QUEDTION...i'll have to think abt this...
i think...i wanan say hard, in that his first reaction to stuff liek betrayal/hostility is confusion, before he gets hurt and spiteful, because like, he doesn't understand why someone would do something shitty? but if you're repeatedly hostile/show to be untrustrworthy, then he can certainly get there
like, he has family members he doesn't trust anymore, heck, he's been teeterig o nthat with his mums for a bit, because they've repeatedly show to not really be getting his hints that he doesnt want to be kng (and i mean, they are getting them, and he kidna knows that on soem level, theyre just...pretending theyre not) and then he doesn't really trust aerendyl at firs, bc aerendyl is continously hostile with him lol (and even then, bc he's not rally...endangerig him or doing untrustworthy things over a log period of time, elyon still somewhat trusts him to at least try to help figure out whats really gonig on)
so i'd say its hard to earn his mistrust. yiu'd have to earn it over a series of years/betrayals, or actively endanger the people he cares abt quite obviously and nastily in frotn of him (not something aerendyl did, just an example lol)
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AAAAA tysm for that lil drabble!! 🫶 i'm a cs major, so i felt it in my bones bc there's tons of moments when my code isnt working and the words just,,, don't word anymore?? (fruit platters are a sure fire way to my heart too. nothing beats having watermelon or mangoes to munch on while i'm typing away,, forever a slave to my code ///sobs)
anyway, i successfully survived my summer term so hoshina brainrot is back at full throttle. would love to hear any sfw (or nsfw) headcanons abt him you might have stored away hehe//
my hc of the day: in private, he likes to be in your space (or bring you into his, he'd claim). eating together at the table? he's playing a small game of footsies with you. plop on the couch to unwind for the day? he'll pull you into his lap lmao. but in public (and at work), he tries to keep it /mostly/ professional. sometimes you'll catch him slipping and see his fingers itching to have a lil touch when the recruits arent looking, or how he'll stand just a smidge too close when there's clearly plenty of other spots for him to exist in, just so he can have some midday ~wireless recharging~
(and for the angsty side of it: it stems from his fear of losing you in a kaiju attack. he sees it in his nightmares sometimes, and physically feeling your living presence is a big reassurance to him. expect for him to be extra clingy after he wakes up from those haunting dreams. those days, he'll have a hand on your hip or openly hold your hand and play with your fingers in an impromptu game of thumb war, recruits be damned)
- 🧸
MANGO!!!!! we got a whole box of mango this week and i ate about three yesterday before my throat started getting mad at me 😒 i am tragically at least slightly allergic to most fruits
ahh congratulations on getting through summer term!! i hope you can enjoy a bit of a break before you have to wrestle with code again! your headcanons are soooo cute and i do think soshiro gets a kick out of how sneakily he can be in your space while you're both at work. he's always the one handing you things (so he can brush his fingertips along the backs of your hands). he says he needs to show you something on his phone and he gets close enough that you can feel his breaths in your hair.
as for my own headcanons, well, lmao, i still think he gets shy about wanting you. he's normally so disciplined and unruffled, but you can turn him into a flustered mess. he whines!! i do think he has a bit of a praise kink. but he likes taking care of you and prides himself in that. i also think he tends to lose track of time when he gets into work mode, and when he wakes up he's super clingy and walks around like a zombie until he gets his morning coffee. just soft and fond and he's tucking his face into the back of your neck while you pour him a cup. he forces himself more awake if he's on duty or something but you're the only one who gets to see him all rumpled
i do have a million more thoughts about him of course LOL but this was fun!! i've shifted into todoroki mode for this fic i'm working on so it was nice to think about my best boy again
love ya 🧸 anon!
#fujimail#🧸anon#i have a million more thoughts but unfortunately work this week is squishing them all down#thank you for sending me this ask!!!!!
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hmmm 3, 5, 6, 11, 14, 20, 22, 26, 38, 40 for the fun questions meme <3
ooooooo ok these’ll b inchresting :3
3- 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?
th lotr trilogy (duh), I Saw the TV Glow, The Last Unicorn :3
5- what made you start your blog?
THIS blog? suicide bait on my old blog :3
tumblr in general? a friend showed it to me in high school n i made one n my life was irreversibly changed lmfao
6- what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?
ATTENTION. double edged sword. like ok i try not to let myself care abt attention and try to be rlly careful now abt who i interact with but at the same time it rlly is validating when things Get Attention. some of my favorite fics have little to no engagement :( n like yea its not healthy to create FOR engagement (fast track 2 burnout) but its also like very disheartening to put time n effort n passion into sth only for it to fizzle out in the void
but whatever. ill make weird art forever
11- what do you consider to be romance?
THIS IS SO FUNNY 2 GET bc soooo much recently has made me reevaluate like. how I perceive this lollllll
anyways short answer: idfk man!!!!!!! close friendships n romance r incredibly cloudy in my mind cuz ive got a bad case of dogbrain!!
long answer is i just don’t quantify that stuff the way neurotypical ppl do :3 ties into th autism + nonhumanity. i also think cis ppl being attracted to me is gross lol. ideal romance for me is bein held n tended to like a noble knight tends their sword. I feel love like a dog feels abt their human!!! dogbrained!!! romance is being a guard dog, being a Really Good Boy but just soooo disconnected from like. idk allosexual/neurotypical quantifiers of “romance” for me lol
+ i don’t use th label rlly but im def somewhere on th ace spectrum lol like physical intimacy is only rlly “safe” conceptually when its completely disconnected from th realm of possibility. like thirsting over celebrities or like th knight i have a crush on. + cis ppl desiring me is rlly like.. ew 😒 don’t look @ me anymore man
14- what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?
UM. funnily enough im gonna do th Big Thing this summer :3 im going 2 th renaissance festival shirtless this year now tht im post op
s’gonna be scary showin off my scars but i rlly wanna go all out n celebrate finally havin top surgery. like im alive!! despite everything im alive n im happy ^_^ so cis people be damned, im gonna run around like a lil wolfguy for the first weekend!!!!!
20- favourite things about the night?
i love the moon :3
i also love how still n quiet things get
22- say 3 things about someone you love
ITS SO BRAVE!!!!!!!!! ITS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST GUY I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO PROUD OF IT FOR HOW MUCH WORK IT DOES TO BETTER OUR COMMUNITY N PROUD OF IT FOR PURSUING TRANSITION + CANT WAIT TO SHARE MORE TRANS JOY W/ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(hiiiiiii Ly hehe!!)
26- fave colour and why?
when i was a kid my favorite colors were neon yellow n neon pink :3 they still kinda are but now i usually stick to like lime green or bright red paired w black. forest green + dark blue r gr8 too
38- fave song at the moment?
DONT ASK ME TO PICK JUST ONE???????
here r some I’ve had on loop lately: Far Away (Roadside Ghost), Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl (Broken Social Scene), I’m Already Gone (Baroness), Sex for Homework (MSI)
40- any bad habits?
oh yea i have dermatillomania lol
it doesn’t rlly bother me to talk abt bc i think “gross” stuff like that deserves to be less stigmatized— my shoulders n back are COVERRRRREED in little scars + scabs
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