#- isnt allowed to meet with women in private…

[jorvikzelda]

mothers be normal about trans people challenge (impossible)

[edwardteachs]

societally, it's okay. I mean, it's only a year since a horrific terror attack on two gay bars in oslo. but overall, I've never gotten yelled at or attacked, even being visibly queer. this year's pride parade was almost 90 000 people. most people I meet are at least placidly accepting, if ignorantly curious, of trans people.

but the system is built against us. freudian psychology, old prejudices, and harsh gatekeeping categorise our medical system. I was rejected by Rikshospitalet, the only state funded hospital in the country allowed to give trans-affirming healthcare, for being too feminine to fit their criteria for trans men. I know trans women who have been rejected for being lesbians. nonbinary people are not acknowledged, but rather referred to psychologists. I pay 460 NOK (about $43) every month for my testosterone, and had to fork over 53 000 NOK (~$5000), because I have to rely on private clinics. there is no third legal gender. also, while norway is a Very Wealthy Country, most of that money belongs to the upper middle class and up. wealth disparity is growing and I personally (disabled) can barely afford food.

it's not as black and white as Good or Bad for queer people. no country is perfect, and norway has a long and sordid history of eugenics and discrimination, not only towards queer people (the last lobotomy done on a romani person in norway was 1978. we are not safe.)

also, immigrating to norway isnt exactly easy. easier if you're white, cishet, and able bodied, but still.

wish you guys would hate norway for the intense medical transphobia the way you hated swedes for not feeding people. we couldnt get a legal gender marker change without forced sterilisation until 2016. theres 1 board in 1 hospital in the whole country that's allowed to give HRT and they go by 1950s gender roles (i.e. if you're a trans man who wears nail polish, or a trans woman who wears pants, or you're gay, you're denied), and there's a minimum of a full year of psychological evaluations before any treatment is given (they ask helpful and relevant questions like "did you play with cars or dolls as a child" and "do you think about your parents when you masturbate"). anyway burn down rikshospitalet

[thechangeling]

Tell me a story

Ty doesn't believe in fate.

A shout out to @ilikebooks8 for convincing me to make a fanfic about autistic!Eleanor Blackthorn. Autism is genetic so it makes sense for Ty to have autistic ancestors. If you are autistic I guarentee you have someone in your family who is also autistic they just haven't been diagnosed yet. For me, I've got my dad.

Cw: mentions of ableism, abuse and the death of a minor character. Very anti Andrew Blackthorn.

"Tell me a story," Tiberius' asked, in that mature, matter- of-fact way he spoke. Ty was only eight but already he sounded like a boy twice his age in terms of his vocabulary and the way he spoke.

Although he still had the voice of a child which was rather amusing. Eleanor turned to face her son with a groan as she felt searing pain shoot through her bones. She had been laying down all day due to feeling extremely unwell. The noises and lights of the outside world were especially brutal, but she had gotten used to it overtime. She had learned to cope. To smile and nod and make eye contact. To control her movements and still her hands and laugh at their jokes.

Eleanor played the part of the proper shadowhunter and the dutiful wife, the attentive mother. It didn't matter that it had changed her. Had completely turned her into a different person, someone harsher and colder. Someone who was so quick to anger and venomous hatred.

Someone who only knew how to be in pain.

She always tried to not let that side of her show to her children. They didn't deserve it. But the past few weeks in particular had been brutal. Her body felt broken and it was becoming harder and harder to put up that facade.

She faced Ty with the best fake smile she could muster. "Which story would you like to hear?" He climbed up on the bed beside her and sat down in an odd twisted position where his legs were in a W position. He began tapping his hands on his knees as he appeared to contemplate his choices.

Eleanor could remember a time when she was younger when she used to do that. Before her parents had stopped her. She knew she should really tell Tiberius off to discourage him from doing these things in public. He was so blatent and open in a way that frightened and almost angered her. There was no telling what kind of reaction The Clave might have.

She didnt want him to end up with the dregs, or worse.

"I don't know," Ty said finally scrunching up his eyebrows. "I can't think of one right now. Could you make one up?" Eleanor smiled in spite of herself. She had always loved making up stories ever since she was a kid. She had always been a creative person, painting and drawing as often as she could. Shadowhunters didn't really appreciate a creative streak.

Eleanor nodded. "Ok sure, let's see." She took a breath, trying to ignore the agony spreading through her back and shoulders. "Once upon a time there was a prince who was trapped in a tower that was guarded by an evil ogar. The prince had been rumored to have special powers so he was forced by his parents to stay locked away in the tower forever to keep him safe. He wasnt allowed to make friends with any other children so he grew up alone. Teaching himself how to read and write and playing games to amuse himself."

Ty rolled his eyes. "Isn't that rather cliche? The whole prince trapped in a tower story? I've definitely heard that before."

Eleanor laughed. "Where did you hear the word cliche Tiberius?" Ty shrugged, not seeing the amusement in the situation.

"It was in a book. Can you keep going?" He whined impatiently. "I wanna hear the rest."

Eleanor sighed, shaking her head good naturedly. "Alright then. So the prince was trapped for a very long time. Then one day a mysterious adventurer came exploring nearby the tower."

"Can it be a detective?" Ty interrupted, bouncing up and down. He had been obsessed with Clue lately.

"Alright sure, it was a detective. He was searching the answers to a murder mystery. The murder of a young women."  Ty instantly looked interested. Perhaps murder was not the best subject for a story being told to an eight year old, but Ty was a shadowhunter. They were trained to deal with blood and death.

"His was searching for information and came across the tower," she continued. So he decided to investigate. He snuck passed the ogar and into the tower, where he was ambushed by the prince!"

Ty gasped excitedly, wriggling in place. "What happened next? Did they fight?"

Eleanor opened her mouth to continue, but then the bedroom door flew open, startling them both.

It was Andrew. Instantly Ty shrunk himself down, hunching his shoulders. Eleanor knew that Ty didn't always get along with his father but she knew Andrew still loved him deep down. He glared at them both.

"Ty your mother is meant to be resting," he said pointedly.

Eleanor shook her head. "Oh no it's alright. He wasn't bothering me." Andrew didn't seem to hear her.

"Tiberius let's go," he said harshly. Ty hesitated for a moment, looking up at her.

"But I wanna hear the rest of the story!" He protested. "I wanna know what happens to the prince!" Eleanor sighed solemnly. She didn't want to disappoint Ty, but she was feeling pretty worn out.

"Another time baby," she assured him. "I promise."

But unfortunately she never got the chance. She never got the chance because little did they know, Eleanor Blackthorn had cancer. Something that silent brothers couldn't cure. Something that shadowhunters were powerless against.

"What are you thinking about ?" Kit murmered from his spot curled up against Ty's chest. His breath tickled Ty's chin.

Ty paused, not quite sure how to answer. They were lying on the roof of the LA institute again. It was their special spot. Kit had suggested a night of star gazing for a date since the weather was nice.

Things has been a little weird between them lately. Kit had been pretending that everything was fine and he was unfazed, but Ty could tell that something was bothering him. And he had a feeling he knew what it was.

At Magnus and Alec's anniversary party, Jace made a joke about how Kit and Ty would probably be the next ones to get married and Ty immediately went into a blind panic. He completely froze up at the mention of marriage. At the mention of him getting married. His body instantly went into a complete overload almost as if he was on the verge of a meltdown.

He didn't take the time to think about any of it. He just snapped and yelled that he wasn't getting married. That he wasn't ever getting married. Ty wasnt even sure where it came from. Kit was pretending like it wasnt a big deal but Ty knew he was hurting. He could tell.

Ty traced a pattern across Kit's arm. "Honestly it was nothing," he assured him. "I just-." Ty stared at Kit, studying his face. The curve of his lips, the adorable blush of his cheeks and the tiny beauty mark under his eye that Ty loved to fixate on. Everything ached, but it was a good kind of ache.

Ty loved him.

"I just want to stay like this forever," he murmered. "Here with you, where I feel safe and warm. And loved." Ty nuzzled his nose against Kit's. "I want to be with you forever."

Kit smiled distantly before breaking into a slight frown. "Then why don't you wanna marry me?" He asked sadly. And Ty could instantly hear the old ghosts of self loathing and insecurity still haunting Kit's thoughts.

Ty sighed. "It has nothing to do with you I promise. I just really don't want to get married and I'm not even fully certain of why exactly."

Kit stroked his cheek slowly. "Is it the idea of a big wedding? Because we don't have to do that you know. We can totally just skip it," he said assuredly.

Ty shook his head. "That's part of it but it isn't the only reason." He paused to contemplate what exactly it was that was making him feel this way, feel so afraid.

Strangely enough, Ty kept coming back to his mother. His mother who was always a little peculiar in private. Who always seemed sad and exhausted even before the silent brothers diagnosed her. Who was constantly going along with whatever her husband wanted for whatever reason. Because she assumed he knew what he was doing? Because she didn't want to make waves in a society so rigid and obsessed with conformity?

Ty had been considering it more and more lately.

He sat up, displacing Kit from where he was resting. "I think my mother was like me," Ty admitted in a shakey voice. "I think she was autistic and that's why she ended up in the situations she did."

"Ok?" Kit looked confused. "But that still doesn't explain-."

Ty interrupted him. "She was trying so hard to fit in and do the right thing and she would just let him control her. She kept compromising for him because she thought that's what she was supposed to do and also because despite it all I think she really loved him! And it made her so stupid!" Ty shouted.

"I just don't want to become trapped like that," he confessed.

Kit was silent for a moment, just staring at him with a puzzled expression. "Ok, but Ty you realize that I'm not your dad right? Like I would never try and control you or make you into something you're not. I'm not trying to own you, I'm trying to love you!" He argued. "Ty, marriage isnt supposed to trap you. It's about making our relationship into an Offical legal thing that everyone's forced to acknowledge and accept."

Kit took Ty's hand in his. "It's about making each other family."

Ty looked away. He couldn't meet Kit's eyes when he was staring at him looking so hopeful and desperate. It did strange things to Ty's insides. He squeezed his eyes shut, scrunching up his face along with his fists for a moment before letting go.

"I just don't want to let someone have power over me in that way," he explained. Kit sighed, then smiled softly before leaning forward to rest his forehead against Ty's. Ty let out a little moan as he let the tension release from his body with a sigh. Kit placed his hand over Ty's heart.

"But don't you get it Ty?" He asked softly. "You already have, whether you meant to or not. I'm in your system sweetheart, in your blood just like you're in mine." Ty felt him smile. "Like we were made for each other. Like we've spent our entire lives waiting for each other."

Ty pulled away from him. "No I don't believe that," he stated firmly. "I don't believe in fate or destiny or soulmates. I think it's an overt  romanticization of life and the human condition which can have disastrous consequences. It leads people to believe that they are somehow incomplete without a romantic partner which is incredibly problematic." Ty realized he was probably going on a bit of a tangent as he was known to do. But he couldn't be bothered to care.

Kit pouted a little. "Yeah I get that. But I don't know. I like to romanticize things in life. After everything that I've been through, I guess it just makes things feel better you know?" Kit glanced at him hopefully."I don't care if you don't believe in any of those things. I do. And despite what you might believe, you aren't always right about everything," Kit said pointedly.

Ty scowled at him. Kit was undeterred. "And I get that you're coming at this from a scary trauma place. I understand that. I have those too. But you don't have to be afraid of me," he pleaded.

Ty couldn't resist reaching out and touching him, pushing a curly lock of hair behind his ear. "Can I maybe think about it?" Kit smiled and snuggled up against Ty's chest again. "Of course," he murmered. Ty leaned back and resumed his earlier position, staring up at the sky.

He nuzzled his face against Kit's hair. "I'm glad you're not mad at me anymore," said Ty.

Kit snorted, turning to face Ty. "I'm never mad at you love. It's pretty much impossible." Ty grinned and leaned forward to kiss him slowly, savoring the feeling of Kit's lips against his.

Kit broke off and kissed Ty's cheek, then his orbital bone. Ty giggled and closed his eyes which prompted Kit to place a kiss on each of his eyelids.

"I love every inch of you," Kit whispered. Ty couldn't speak. He was too overwhelmed. He just wrapped his arms around Kit even tighter and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

They lay in peaceful silence for several moments before Kit spoke.

"Tell me a story."

In case you missed it, the story Eleanor was telling Ty is the story of kitty in Lady Midnight basically. Also. Not me projecting my fear of marriage onto my comfort character! 😂

Tag list: (lmk if you wanna be added/removed) @playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @knifescythe @ti-bae-rius @dianasarrow @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies @zfoxdraws @julieandthefandoms @older-brother-kit @ilikebooks8 @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @heloisacosta23 @adoravel-fenomeno @eutonyinwhisper

[bi-writes]

being worried that Tom isnt taking your dating seriously, but that very night mob!tom making a very public (and somewhat naughty) display infront of mob rivals and his men at a party or an event that you and him are together, that you’re his girl.

clearing out inbox, don’t send anymore

You didn’t know how you were going to talk to him about this.

Tom was an enigma. He was mysterious in every way, and your relationship wasn’t omitted from that mysteriousness. Tom was different when he was around others. Tom was different when he was with you. In fact, sometimes you thought he was an entirely different man, especially when he could flip the switch on his emotions. There were times when he was deep into the color of your eyes, his palms on your cheeks, love on his lips, and then in another minute, he could be throwing glass at the wall and commanding an army of suit-clad soldiers to do his bidding. It terrified you.

Sometimes Tom terrified you.

He had never done anything to you that would make you afraid of him, but that didn’t mean you hadn’t seen Tom through the thick and thin. In fact, there were times when you would rub blood off his sharp jaw and kiss the worry away from his face, something he had never tried to hide from you. But while Tom didn’t hide anything from you, it seemed...Tom did want to hide you.

Tom had...rules. Lots of rules. You couldn’t take pictures with him. You couldn’t post about him on any social media. He had one phone number, but it changed all the time, and it was hard to get in contact with him sometimes. And you weren’t allowed to be seen together. You had never gone on a date in public, never had coffee together, a meal, even a drunken night at a bar. But Tom had done those things, he had done them many times, without you.

It bothered you. The lifestyle Tom led wasn’t something you had prepared for in the beginning, but the fact that you stuck around even after knowing had to mean something, didn’t it? Tom had to know that you were serious about him, didn’t he?

It was when the doubt began to trickle in that you knew you had to talk to him. When you started to think that maybe the reason Tom never let you join him was because he was meeting someone else, with someone else, giving into the pleasures of his lifestyle and letting women do as they wanted with him. It was when the jealously, the doubt, the hurt, began to trickle in that you knew you couldn’t wait any longer.

You smoothed the skirt of your dress down as you clutched your purse to your side. The pub was dark at this hour, but filled with animate voices. You looked around for him, but you couldn’t see him, so you made your way to the front, your eyes finding a bartender cleaning off some glasses.

“I’m looking for a...Tom Holland?” You asked, biting your lip nervously. He raised a brow, looking you up and down with almost a scoff before nodding his head towards the door behind him. 

“In the back.”

You made your way around the counter, and he opened the door for you, nodding his head. You made your way down the narrow hallway, towards the only doorway that had light peeking out from it. You pushed it open slowly, and your eyes widened when there were dozens of eyes on you suddenly.

Men were hanging around the couches, the chairs, against the private bar towards the back. There were a few poker tables set up where stacks of cash were being thrown around, and there was smoke billowing from everywhere. You met eyes with Tom, who was seated at one of the poker tables, a cigarettes between his fingers. He blinked when he noticed that it was you standing there, and he didn’t say anything for a few moments. You clutched your purse tighter, tears in your eyes as you waited for a few minutes. But as Tom stared at did nothing, your heart dropped in your stomach. You had a feeling you knew where you stood with Tom, but you just couldn’t really believe that it could be true.

“Where are you going, sugar?”

“Don’t cry, love, come join the party.”

You backed up against the door as people started to come closer to you, but they didn’t get even a few steps before Tom’s voice rang out, firm and threatening.

“Take one more fucking step, and I’ll blow your fucking head off.”

The conversations died down as Tom stood up. He stubbed out the end of his cigarette, letting out a breath before he glared at the men closest to you.

“Fuck off, will ya? She’s with me.”

“Oh, is she? I don’t see—”

Tom let out a bitter laugh, “oh, you don’t want to fucking go there with me, do you? You lay a hand on her, and I swear, she’ll be the last thing you ever bloody feel. Keep your fucking hands to yourself, do you understand me?”

You stayed there by the door, a bit timid as you backed up still. Tom sighed after a moment, taking a seat and relaxing, and as he motioned for you to come closer to him, the conversations started back up again, as if you hadn’t interrupted at all. You hurried towards him, a tremble in your lips, and Tom welcomed you into his lap, his arms tight around you as you hugged him back. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked, threading his fingers through your hair. “You know—”

“I know the rules,” you whispered. “I just...I thought...I thought you didn’t want me to come because...m-maybe...maybe I wasn’t as important to you as...as I thought I was.”

Tom raised a brow, “what?” He chuckled a bit. “No, love...that’s not it.” He brushed a thumb over your cheek, “y/n, you’re bloody silly, you know that? What do you think I do here? It’s not fun and games, love, I make deals. I’d rather not have my girl get between me and business...you could get hurt.”

You shook your head, “Tom, I’m being serious. I...I care about you. I...I just...sometimes I just...I just don’t feel like you...care about me as much as I care about you. I kinda feel that sometimes you’re...embarrassed about me.” You swallowed a bit, meeting his eyes, and he frowned visibly. 

“Mmm...why don’t you wait for me by the door, yeah? Let’s...let’s go.”

You slid off of his lap, going to stand by the door, and he finished shaking a few hands before coming towards you. You turned to walk out with him, and you gasped as he grabbed a handful of your ass and pulled you out of the room, slamming you against the wall and capturing you in a hot kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck slowly, letting out a whine when he pulled away, chasing his lips for more.

“You’re my girl, y/n. Always,” he muttered. “I know it, and now they do, too.”

“I’m in love with you,” you blurted out, staring at his lips. Your eyes widened a bit, but all Tom could do was grin.

“Good,” he murmured. “I’m in love with you. Now...let’s talk about how fucking lovely you look in this dress, eh?”

[lgbtpolitics]

Realising I am a lesbian (this is gonna be long)

This is not something I talk about much because I see it as something personal and not for public discussion. Equally I feel that online discussions, especially on tumblr are steeped in this idea of "winning" an argument, "proving" you're allowed to say this or that and "owning" your "opponents" and I dont like my personal story to have any part of that.

But the recent discussion I was just having made me reminisce a lil bit so I'm gonna talk about it now. Because I feel like where I'm coming from on this is pretty relevant.

Something you need to understand is that I was not popular in primary school. I had like barely any friends. I basically got it into my head that I was more mature than everyone else, and I was like, so excited to go to secondary school. I watched all the rom coms about high school and I just saw it as my chance to be the super popular girl, that dates all the boys, and everyone loves etc. This fantasy of myself as the next regina George was something that really kept me going during that time. And I went to secondary school and tbh I got my wish- ofc real life isnt as dramatic as the movies, there was no dramatic walking down the halls with everyone in awe- but for all intents and purposes i was relatively popular, had my little girl gang, and most importantly, loads of boys fancied me. I got my first kiss age 11 and just felt I was succeeding in life. I subsequently got slapped in the face with the realisation that I was a lesbian.

Now this was like, unacceptable to me. I basically promised myself that it didn't matter, I was gonna stay closeted forever, I could still date boys, no one needed to know. This idea i had that my attractiveness to boys was my sole life force was not going away any time soon. So i did that. I dated boys, and I was enjoying it too. I knew I wasnt really into them (do not @ me about the ethics of that this is middle school it was never gonna last regardless) but really the whole point of dating them was to satiate my need to be the super attractive girl, not actual feelings. That was true before I realised I was gay and it was still true afterwards so yeah I was still getting that same buzz, the delight of realising someone's into me, scrutinizing him with my friends, gossiping about it- I was loving it. So far none of this is sounding very gay I know. The thing was these relationships would never last longer than maybe like 2 months. That's not that strange for that age group, hence why no one picked up on it, but after the initial hype wore down, after it became something in my life not a new adventure I was just bored and I started to hate it. I remember this would change really rapidly, almost overnight I would go from being so excited about him to just wanting him nowhere near me. I like kinda knew this was because of my sexuality but like I said, as far as i was concerned I could basically just be straight and only think about women in private so I didn't scrutinise it too much.

Anyway fast forward a few years of this. When I was 18 I moved somewhere new, much more accepting place with -SHOCK- other, out, gay people. This was like crazy to me and I came out to a handful of my friends. It was bliss honestly. However to my, and my friends, surprise I did not stop getting with guys after I'd come out to people. It was really weird for me, I just like could not stop seeing guys like a dating prospect. I was not actively dating guys but like sometimes kissing them at parties stuff like that. I remember thinking that I needed to stop getting with them if I wanted people to believe me that I was gay, but then thinking, if i need to try then surely I'm not gay, like what is this? So when I went to uni I came out as bisexual. I really wanted to come out at uni because i was ok with people knowing now, but I was scared of like making announcements to people so going away was like, my opportunity to just let people know when I first met them and it would be a casual thing. And I just decided I was gonna say I was bisexual because saying I was confused felt too personal to share with people I was just meeting but also if I was still getting with guys, any discussion of how I could be a lesbian also felt too personal so i was like ok I'm bisexual now. I dont mean this like I actively lied, I mean more like, I just told myself I must be, because i seemingly could not stop getting with guys.

So yeah for a couple of years I identified as bisexual. I basically changed my mind because of one event. What happened was, there was this guy on my course who like, I had noticed before, but not in an attraction way (not even fake attraction, like I had not even thought about him as hot, or someone i would wanna get with i just knew like who he was). And whilst out with some friends of mine, they were getting all giggly and gossipy about how cute this guy is. I just saw them like laughing about something and then one of them turned to me and said "Dont you think x is really fit?" And in that moment, suddenly, I thought he was really fit. I dont mean I lied and pretended to join I mean in that split second I suddenly started to feel something towards him that I did not before. And for some reason, this time I was acutely conscious of the fact that I did not find him attractive before she said anything. And this event really stayed with me and I was pondering it for ages, and started to realise that basically every guy I'd fancied up to that point I'd actually done the same thing with. Like I would have no inclination to get with a boy until he or someone else put the idea in my head. And I was latching on to that idea every time. And this feeling was not following through, I'm not gonna go into detail about sex I was having but basically yeah it didn't hold up. And just like that, I basically just realised that a lot of my attraction to men was the same as it was when i was 12 years old: all about about the idea of it and not really about them, or my enjoyment at all. I linked this back to my obsession with being this figure of "girl all the guys want", despite the fact that I was now studying science at university, not doing make up and nearly all my friends were guys etc, I'd basically entirely let go of this persona, but the impact of having spent my whole life was that I could not distinguish between someone I liked and someone I liked the idea of and I could see it really clearly all of a sudden.

Initially I thought it was just me. Like I'd concocted this image of myself that had convinced me I was bisexual for years. Up until I started reading about other lesbians experiences with this- I wasnt alone and I wasnt even the oldest person just realising it. That was another big factor was that I felt way to old to still be questioning my sexuality, especially considering I was now out of the closet, I was involved in a lot of lgbt activism and politics and I just felt a bit pathetic. Realising this was actually a really common experience, actually including feeling more of this "attraction" to men after coming out, was honestly not just a huge relief to me but also just made me feel more comfortable identifying as a lesbian, and not feeling like I had to justify every past relationship I'd had with men in order to do so.

Now I actually still have a lot of friends who think I'm bisexual. I do tell people I'm not, but they dont believe me a lot of the time, and I dont blame them. I understand that I got with a lot of boys and they just see that and think "shes definitely bi". They're mostly men, quite a few of them are straight and people just arent aware that this is a thing that lesbians experience. That pretty much concludes my story, and I just wanna say that the reason I'm posting this is not, as I said at the top, about "winning" this "argument" I was having, I just want people to see this stuff. I just shared contrpoints video where she talks about the same stuff, saying how one of my friends actually got in touch with me after seeing that to say he kind of could see what I meant about me being a lesbian. Call it comphet call it whatever you want. The point is, it is a common experience, and it is something people struggle with, even after realising that that's what it is, it doesn't go away when you put a name to it. Recognising it does help though, it's been a while now since I've even contemplated being with any man. Also when you do feel that stuff, it helps to just ask yourself if what you're feeling is attraction, or a buzz from the idea of it. Having an understanding that it's not just about forcing yourself but actually you feel something genuine, but that that something is not attraction really helps to understand it aswell.

[cowboyjen68]

(1) Hey Jen, so I'm 16 and a lesbian and I've just started going to this new art school, I've made a few friends but there's this girl there that's like in love with me, like she asked me out after 3 days of knowing me, I politely declined because my mental health and home life is awful at the moment, I have depression and ptsd and although I'm a romantic I can't see myself handling a relationship anytime soon, and she seemed to take it well and we stayed friends...

(2) Well since that day I can’t have a single conversation with her without her “joking” about how she’s going to make me fall in love with her and I’ll inevitably be sending her nudes and we’ll fuck a lot, and honestly it’s making me really uncomfortable, we’ve become the “will they won’t they” of our friendship group and everyone is telling me to just date her, because I’m a girl and she’s a girl and we’re both gay so that’s all you need right? I’ve explained to her my libido is nonexistent…

(3) and tbh I really don’t want to see her tits I just want to take a nap! I get that my dating circle is smaller than if I was straight but surely that doesn’t mean I have to say yes to every girl that wants to fuck me solely because idk if I’ll ever get the opportunity to again?? Aren’t I allowed to have standards? Or a type? Isnt it normal to want to have feelings for someone before u date them? I can’t even tell her this cuz u gotta be gentle with feelings and I don’t wanna embarrass her :(

Hi.. I am glad you wrote.. because all that you bring up is important. 

First.. it is okay for you to be honest and straight forward. In private, of course.  Tell her you are not interested.. You don’t feel that way about her and you would really enjoy your friendship if she could please just drop it. You will be the first to cheer her on as she meets women to date. It is just not going to be you.. ever.  Honesty might hurt her feelings at first.. but it if she values your friendship she will understand. If she does not value your feelings or friendship, you have lost nothing if she walks away. 

You are absolutely correct about not liking all lesbians or bi women or women in general. I meet lots of women, both lesbian and bi and I am really attracted to very few. I mean we all can recognize a woman who is attractive. But as far as want.. someone who actually turns me on, that is rare and so far, ALWAYS comes with connection. Not everyone needs that connection, that is me and, it sounds like you are the same way. That is okay and it is important that you respect that about yourself. Not settle or lower standards. Don’t give in to pressure. You should enjoy your experiences of intimacy on your terms.  

When you date someone… you should have some butterflies or tingles. If you don’t know them at all you should at least be excited to see them. So you are completely correct. Your dating pool is smaller.. but there are plenty and you have plenty of time. Don’t rush, don’t settle, don’t be with someone just to be with anyone. Take that nap, work on your school and yourself. When you are ready to date, date.. but never be dishonest with yourself about who or what type you like. If you can be honest with yourself you can be honest with other women. 

And at 16, you may not even be ready to date. Not everyone is. Not everyone is in a place at your age to explore sex or intimacy. That is normal and don’t listen to those who pressure you to date or tell you that you should be more interested in sex than you are. That is cultural stuff creeping in and not accurate for every one. 

[cowboyguts-moved]

Ok i’ve GOT to know 14 and 15 because josh...you have a torment hard-on unlike anyone else i have ever seen...why do you always have one OC who’s like a fucking orphan with a peg leg and almost starved to death as an infant or another one who ended up in the hospital and lost all of their money because their small time drug dealer turned out to be working for the colombian cartel and robbed them blind. josh why

ok tumblr wont let me post all of it but gimme a sec and ill edit this ask

edit:

HHSHDJDKXNXJDJZNSJ WHAT'S FUCKIN LIFE WITHOUT PERILOUS DANGER and inborn trauma and tragedy... i do it to purge myself of my own problems and to give me incentive for research and discovering different walks of life than my own ... you almost hit the nail on the head with lewis though which is the answer to

14. The roughest backstory I’ve given an OC

Lewis was made because the head of this cult wanted lewis to be born... kinda like symbolism for jesus's birth. i don't know all the lore for this cult yet but they're a small commune north of a small town in northern California. They have their own isolated community of two hundred people give or take. Lewis' mom was a teenage runaway and lewis' dad was a simple farm hand in a cruel family who treated him poorly because of mental disability and they had to have lewis because it was ordered of them and there was sorta no way out of it...they had a boy and for some reason the birth of this kid didnt feel right and he didnt feel like... divine enough to be used for ritual practice and the ultimate mission of these cults leaders... which would inevitably be a sacrifice of the boy. haha (: and so theyre like ...try again. so now Lewis was born with a fraternal sister but they only cared about Lewis...his real name is Aloysius for petes sake, he's named after a saint. Lewis isnt particularly singled out as he grows up like he doesn't know he's being especially watched because of some bullshit prophecy that was most definitely made up and no theres no angelic godly energy running through him everyone is just a bunch of freaks. Lewis grows up not knowing his siblings are his biologically because the commune is about group-raising. everyone is a sibling every adult is a parent. he doesn't know his mom is His mom but she watches him extra close and lewis gets an idea that this one women may be his Mom mom even though he doesnt have a strong concept of what that even means. Lewis is abused and neglected like other kids, him more severely by a man called Father Gabriel..we despise him ha ha. he's the most vile evil character i will ever make. Lewis's life is fine, not fine... because he's being raised in a cult... but fine in his eyes because he gets schooling in the small community school, he gets recreation activities..this is where he learns to paint, he does labor a lot but he does love when he gets to garden and pet the animals in their barn, he sings in the church choir. the hardest part about it are his visits with Father Gabriel that occur whenever father wants them to at whatever time of day and the neglect from the Brothers of the church as well. this starts when he's about 7 or 8

he's treated especially poorly and corporal punishment and solitary confinement and withholding of basic needs is a big thing. etc etc. this is a religious cult obviously so that sort of biblical fear is instilled in him. uhhh then for whatever reason i have to iron out the kids are allowed to go to private schools close by, probably as not to seem like a closed off and suspicious cult that draws attention. lewis meets chris at his school (: hehe. lewis still has to go back to the commune every weekend though and thats especially hell because things get worse when he's in middle school. uhh when high school comes around hes actually plucked out of the school system and is going back to living full time in the commune and being homeschooled except he and 5 children are selected to go on a Retreat with father gabriel and two of the Brothers..the retreat is actually just living in an abandoned home in the middle of Nebraska and its one big sacrificial ritual thats lasts a year and the kids are of course neglected, made to do odd rituals, are humiliated. uhh basically its Horror Movie stuff... i wanted it to feel like a horror movie that lewis is trying to escape from. theres no light in the house. they only use candles and daylight. theres limited food. hardly any outside time. the ultimate goal is that they'll eventually get very malnourished and then theyll be sacrificed... a little girl doesnt make it. Lewis is upset because he learned to love her as a sister. he can feel himself getting closer to death.... he has deep lacerations on his leg from abuse and theyre not getting treated and his tissue is dying and his leg is getting gangrene. he escapes one night through the corn field and he tells a man he sees in town to call the police and then flees. he realizes his leg is dying! he by chance meets a doctor! lewis has no money for amputation so he offers something Else and this disgusting doctor accepts!!! lewis is sent off with a bad wooden prosthetic and not enough healing time in bed and no physical therapy and his own supply of pain meds that will soon run out! lewis prostitutes for money and pain meds in mystic overhang!! he gets with very repulsive men that mistreat him! when lewis is touched he gets very pliable and limp as a coping mechanism! he stops the meds and withdrawals! thank you

15. The least painful backstory I’ve given an OC

My least painful backstory HHHSHDHSHS IS TANNER. jesus tanner grew up with a very...here or there father. he's not great at all. he's not the worst. but being around him feels kinda empty and they don't talk about much besides tanner in hockey and other common interests like that. his parents are divorced, he feels lost with his passions and where he's going in life. it all feels a bit aimless and he feels like he's on the Precipice of something bad or losing something he holds dear. like friends and memories and his girlfriend amiyah. his brother is really mean like pretty much abusive..he's 14 and he's narcissist asshole with a fucked up head and he makes his life hell and he's honestly a little frightening. sometimes his mom is unaware of the important things going on in tanners life and she's a bit harebrained and unfairly self absorbed but she is a good lady and he loves her. also we arent sure yet if this is canon material but he gets amiyah pregnant and she miscarries 3 months in SO...yeah there u have it.

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Meeting Roman Godfrey

Chapter 2

Warning: cursing.

Author notes: establishing these two dynamic. The calm before the storm if you will. Lol.

“I can honestly say that I’m jealous.” Roman mumbled as he stared in wonder at myr Uncles’ home. Walking around touching the original furnishings, and admiring the extensive art collection that was everywhere you looked, in some form or another.

My uncles home had been designed by famous architect frank lloyd wright and was dramatically built on top of a waterfall, giving it the suitable name of “Falling Water”. It was as famous for its genius design, as it was for being owned by a reclusive antisocial billionaire that didn’t allow journalists, photographers, architects or anyone for that matter near the home, let alone photograph it.

I think, the waterfall is annoying,the kitchen impractical,pretty much had no storage space, was constantly in need of some major renovation or repair, and was as close to living in a fish bowl you could get. I’d never admit any of those things out loud, because it truly was beautiful, but deep down I hated living in the famous home.

“I’m just shocked you drove all the way out here. I figured for sure you’d see how far it was and be like pass.” I said trying to draw some attention from the home.

“He recognized the address.” I spun around to find my Uncle standing by one of the homes many staircases.”hello Godfrey. I bet you’re beside yourself to finally have a look inside.”

“Absolutely, sir. It’s an absolute honor to be in your home.” Roman said politely.

I looked at him incredulously. He was known for being a pain in the ass and a brat, but maybe he was just smart and chose his battles. My uncle was as famous for being an asshole as he was for being a genius, but it seemed as though they knew eachother. “So I guess you two know eachother?” i asked. 

“Since i can remember. your Uncle loves to tell me to go fuck myself on the regular. Well not since I tried to buy this house right before....” Romn trailed off as he seemed to get lost in some distant memory...

“What happened to your cousin Letha?” My uncle asked. Strange for him to even ask personal questions, let alone remember names (even if it was my name too)

“Uncle! It might be polite to ask him how he is first...” I huffed.

“I dont care about his emotional state. I care about how a perfectly strong healthy girl died so suddenly and then it just went away.” he analyzed Romans reaction, but there was none. my Uncle liked to test people.

“brain or blood vessel burst in child labor. I was there. So much blood... then she was gone.

“Uncle!!! Are you seriously...”

“No need to defend me Letha.” Roman interjected with a pleasant smile, “your Uncle is one of my favorite people.”

“Did I ever tell you how not just one, but two women ended up with your terrible name?” he asked me with one of his mischevious smiles. “in Greek it translates to forgetful, and considering you’re not forgetful in the least its ironic. Marie and your mother both hated Olivia, and bonded over that mutual hate. Marie was so taken by your others charms, she named Letha after you the following day.”

I looked over to Roman and he was staring into me. i glanced away to my Uncle, who was watching Roman wth a strange smile on his face. He was acting kind of strange, even for him. I’d better get Roman out of here before he hates me. 

“. Come on out here with me and we can chat you two. Letha grab me a ginger ale and get Roman a water since he’s driving.” my Uncle ordered.

I agreed and hurried to the kitchen and watched in curiosity as the two notoriously difficult business tycoons seemed to be enjoying one another  out on the terrace.

I hadn’t planned on inviting Roman in, but he had been so obviously enamored by the famous home, that i couldn’t refuse when he’d politely asked to see it. Normally a guy asking to see inside was a question with shady intentions, but the pure wonder on his face had proven otherwise.

Now i didn’t even know what to think about my Uncle being his version of kind to Roman. Uncle hated visitors. I wasn’t totally sure how much he liked me even. I felt like I was in some alternate reality 

I grabbed the drinks, put them on this fancy tray and carried them out to the terrace. It was just nearly dusk and this was one of the prettiest times to see the house, when it was all lit up like a lone lantern in the thick forest with the dramatic waterfalls, and otherworldly feel. 

It was kind of silly that the house was the view, instead of the house having a view. And ironically, the house was so hidden away on 1700 acres up a long winding road, behind a massive gate, with full time security, that nobody really ever got to view it.. Uncle has grown tired of people just showing up or seeing flashes in the woods, so he hired this crazy security company to keep everyone out and monitor all the borders. Hardly anyone ever made it thru now. It was private, but extremely isolated and lonely.

“I’m surprised you’d take interest in Letha.” My uncle said, eyes narrowing obviously oblivious I was right behind them. I held my breath and didn’t move a muscle. I wanted to hear this.

“Why? She’s a beautiful girl.” Roman chuckled.

My heart warmed and stomach fluttered a bit. OH HELL NO Letha. Keep that shit in check.Hes gorgeous, and tall, and sexy, and charmng, and smelled nice, and could hold his own with your uncle, but hes also famous for bedding every woman in his path.... 

“Frankly her breasts are too big for my taste, they seem like a handicap more than an asset, but that’s trivial and shallow. She’s too smart and she doesn’t listen for shit.”

“I had noticed that actually...” Roman said thoughtfully.

“Which part?”

“All of it.”

I cleared my throat, so I didnt hear anything else wrong with me. “Drinks guys.”

Roman hopped up to help me but I signaled him to sit, as I served them their beverages. I could feel his eyes on me, but was careful not to look at him and notice.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” My uncle said. I was gonna punch him in the face, hes such an ass! god I love him.

I burst out laughing and looked at Roman who was 3 shades redder and forcing an uncomfortable smile.He isnt that cool, he does get embarrassed, thats better.

My Uncle started to laugh but winced. “Ouch. Shit. Fucking neck.” He cursed as he was reminded laughing wasn’t allowed yet. He hardly ever did laugh so it wasn’t really an issue normally.

“You’re my favorite person in the world Uncle.” I meant it too. He’s always been there for me, and when I heard he’d hurt himself and may need my help, I dropped everything, hopped in my car and drove the nearly 3000 miles to his house.

It’d taken nearly a whole day to get permission to pass the guards. They were new and usually my uncle came to see me. I’d only been to this house one time when I had graduated high school more than a few years ago. With me going to University, my uncle no longer had to live in the city, so he came here.. Something about the house and town was unsettling to me.

“Well considering the competition, it’s not much of a compliment.” My uncle said dryly. “One day you two should compare notes and see which one of your mothers is the more despicable creature.”

“Is it ok if I take Roman on a little nature walk so he can see the house in all its glory?”

“Go ahead. I’m gonna go to sleep shortly but no hanky panky you two.” He said with a mischievous grin.

Now it was my turn to be red. I turned to Roman and he was already up by my side. I took his hand and walked to the floating stairs that led to the ground floor. I was sure to walk slowly so he could take in all the house had to offer.

“Beautiful.” Roman said under his breath.

“Oh my gosh I know! Can you believe they built this out in the middle of nowhere in 1935? Can you imagine? And it hasn’t been cheap or easy keeping it perfect like this. A few years ago they had to rip half the house apart and reinforce it because the terraces were sagging. Uncle spent like 11 million dollars that time on engineers and architects and materials. He was not letting it go, and I don’t even think the whole house is worth that, but when he likes something, not hell nor high water can change his mind.”

“I wasn’t talking about the house, although good to know.” He smiled at me almost shyly.

“Are you trying to be adorable? You aren’t shy, and yet you’re acting almost sweet.”

“You’re so weird. You just spit out whatever you’re thinking don’t you?” Roman challenged me. Super cocky confident Roman returning.

“Omg you’re a peacock. Look at you preening about, puffing up your chest.”

“A peacock? Really? What does that make you?”

I had to think about that for a moment.”I’d have to go with a honey badger I think.” I said.

Roman choked on his water. I pat him on the back, giving him a moment to catch his breath. “Why is that such a shock?”

“No reason.” He tried to look innocent but I could see thru his shit. “Why did you choose it?”

“Well I’m resourceful, fearless, I don’t listen, I prefer my own company, no one can keep me contained, and snakes don’t intimidate me.”

“Ya?” Roman got very close to me and wrapped his arms around me looking down through long lashes. He oozed sex appeal and I could see how all the girls fell all over him.

I reached up and booped his nose. “Boop.” I giggled hysterically at his facial expression.

“What was that?” He asked confusedly.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up. No one has ever booped you in the nose? That’s crazy! You have the best looking nose I’ve ever seen.”

“I’ve never gotten that one.”

“Well that’s cuz most women are probably trying to be sexy and mysterious with you. theyre not being themselves. Boop. Ok last one. Sorry. I barely know you, I can’t go booping you all over the place on our first date, you’re a nice Christian boy...” I said sarcastically. I grabbed him by the hand and pulled him along the way. “We are almost there and it’s getting dark. We don’t wanna get eaten out here or have to kill something.”

i looked back and Roman was genuinely smiling. I felt warm all over, I looked t our hands intertwined and was puzzled with the feeeling i felt. i looked back at Roman and he was looking at our hands too...

We walked along in happy silence until we reached the rocks across the lake and waterfalls from the house. I was wearing Converse, but his dress shoes were proving to be less than nature friendly. We finally got up the slick stairs cut into the stone to reach the sitting area, after a lot of effort and laughs. They were the worst shoes for this environment ever.

Upon seeing the house, Roman audibly gasped. He took a few steps ahead and I just admired his profile and form. He really was beautiful. I knew he was going to kiss me before the night was thru. I knew better than to trust this boy, and I knew this was really stupid and I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I was completely enthralled and was going to see it through. I didnt half ass anything, and i wasnt going to start with him.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Roman said playfully.

My eyes flashed at him trying to tell me what to do. I lowered my head and looked up at him thru my lashes with a sneer.

 “Hey hold on, that’s my trick! We can’t BOTH have intense sexy stares.” he walked over and casually grabbed me around the waist.

“Good thing mine is just evil then.” I said in my best creepy witch voice.

He burst out laughing, eyes shining. It was a genuine laugh. I could tell by the way he instantly tried to control it, that it didn’t happen often.He tried to be so intimidating and serious, but there was a warmth to him, just under the surface.

“You’re a nerd.” He said quietly. 

Oh boy here we go. He’s gonna try this again. My mind was running 1000 miles a minute as I tried to decide whether I was going to let this happen, when all of a sudden it was too late. His lips were on me as he pulled me into a deep embrace. If I was the type to get caught up in a moment, this would be that moment. He smelled amazing, and tasted so sweet. I felt gum in his mouth with my tongue and I snatched it. I pulled away victorious and mock screamed like a roaring crowd, jogging in a circle arms raised.

“You did not just steal my gum.” He beamed at me, chasing me and catching me in his arms before slipping and pulling me down on top of him, wincing at the impact. 

i hovered over him laughing hysterically. “grace and beauty,” i teased. “ No gum is safe when I’m around.” I grabbed his hand and dragged him to his feet and then back to the stairs. “Time to go on the date I have planned for us.”

His eyebrows shot up and he looked genuinely shocked. “You planned out a date?”

“I did. And I have a feeling, you’re going to love it giiiirrrlll!” We both were giggling like school kids as we made our way back to the house.

I looked up to see my Uncle watching us from his terrace, a worried look on his face. That was kind of odd, but this was Roman Godfrey for chrissake.

I obnoxiously kissed my hand with a big “muah!” And threw it at my uncle who ducked like he was really avoiding getting hit.

“You nearly got me that time.” He yelled down to me.

I laughed and waved goodbye as we walked around the house to Romans Mercedes G wagon.

“Do you know why this suv is so expensive?” I asked him.

“It’s a Mercedes.” He said rolling his eyes.

“Although that’s part of it, these are built by hand and take over 40 hours buy two master craftsman to build. They have all the top-of-the-line materials used as well as three locking differentials. It’s the only one in its class with that so it’s superior for off-road Ing especially with the all wheel drive. Add that with superior safety and brand reliability and you have a very expensive, amazing machine. And since you of course have the AMG, you have to add two more craftsman to its build to hand build its engine that’s a mechanical marvel in itself.”

“You know more about my car than me. “ he laughed.

“It’s no big deal, I just never forget something once I’ve read it.”

“Never? I understand your ironic name now”

“Nope. It’s a blessing and a curse. I get it from my Uncle I guess.”

“That’s impressive.” He said sincerely. “I better never lie to you.”

I looked at him and our eyes locked. We stood there eyes locked on one another, neither of us wanting to be the first to look away. A smile crept across his face and i did an exaggerated silly wink.

“You are full of surprises Ms. Letha... what is your last name? Same as your Uncle?

“Nope. My last name is Dahl although I’d love to change it. Not a fan of my father. 

“Oh? Family drama Letha Dahl?’

“You have no idea.” I winked and got in the passenger side before he could reach the door and open it for me. I watched him walk around to the drivers seat and stop to read a message and reply. He scanned thru his phone and slipped it in his pocket. He climbed in and pushed the button to start the car. I went to the navigation and entered the address of our destination and pressed start.

I looked out the window analyzing my thoughts and emotions with scientific precision, first identifying the particular emotions and then assessing where there root was, before filing them away as solved. This was how I regulated thoughts and feelings, so they never got the best of me but this time there were emotions, I had no name for and there was nothing logical about them. I’d dated and even had boyfriends, but I’d never been this absolutely enamored by a man. i felt .... God, what was it?

Roman Godfrey was way cooler than me, but I was smarter, but for the first time in my life, I wasn’t sure if that was an advantage. I had never let emotion take the wheel, but i almost wanted to. I wanted to be lost in this tragic gorgeous boy.

[nerdinsomniac]

im gonna teach y’all a little bit of jewish law today, folks

Basically a friend of mine asked me last night if it was true that rabbis check a woman’s underwear once a month after her period. SO y’all are gonna learn today.

*Disclaimer--I’m not a rabbi or a married woman (aka someone actively practicing the laws im about to talk abt). However I have several years of learning under my belt, plus parents who will talk about ANYTHING relating to Jewish law, and this happens to have been one of the things that have come up both in my schooling (thanks Jewish Day School) and subsequently me clarifying a few things with my parents (thanks mom and dad)

Also, all this info obvs only pertains to religious Jews, generally Orthodox or Conservative. If you or a friend is a not religious Jew don’t assume they follow (or even know about) any of what’s in store below.

Let’s start at the beginning (que sound of music soundtrack)

1. Jewish Law forbids period sex. Why? Good question. thats one of the laws that isnt really explained at all, but the Torah and Talmud are pretty adamant about it. Bottom line, jewish couples are not allowed to have sex from that start of a woman’s period until she goes to the mikvah (ritual bath) 7 days after the end of her period, called the 7 clean days or שבע נקיים (sheva neki-im) in hebrew.

Fun fact? This seems super archaic, but all the women i’ve talked to (including teachers, women I know in my community, and my own mother) are pretty supportive of the system. While i have no experience of my own (I’m turning 20 at the end of the month, give me some time folks), these women and that one rabbi at an NCSY shabbaton (thanks rabbi) say that the halacha (law) prohibiting sex for about a week and a half gives couples a semi scheduled time to connect verbally and emotionally which improves their relationship as a whole, and some of them (not including the rabbi--he was speaking to a large group so we’ll cut him some slack) even said that that in turn enhanced their sex lives.

2. The Seven Clean Days

The seven clean days are essentially a buffer zone between when a woman is actively bleeding and when she goes to the mikvah. And this gets to the heart of the “checking women’s underwear” misconception, so lets break that down.

Truth: Women check to see if they are actively bleeding during the 7 clean days: While technically only the first and last day are absolutely necessary (so if you miss a day in the middle it’s okay), most women check every day by inserting a piece of white “bedika” (checking) cloth *up there*, pulling it out again, and seeing if there’s blood on it. Think kind of like putting in a tampon. 

Here in Israel the cloths are sold at most pharmacies, while in the rest of the world you can get them online or i assume at the mikvah or a jewish store, but I’m not sure.

False: Women then have to bring that cloth to a rabbi: Women are trusted and expected to check the cloth themselves and decide for themselves if the cloth is clean of blood. What women DO bring the cloth to a rabbi for is if they’re not sure. The blood or discharge that negates a clean day is red or dark brown, ie a sign that you’re still actively bleeding. Because (as any menstruating woman knows) your period and vaginal discharge can be any of several colors, it is at times hard to tell if the color is indicative of active bleeding and therefore you have to start the count to seven over again, or if its old blood or non-blood discharge and you can keep the count going from where you are.

False: If you have a question about whether or not your cloth is “clean”, you must take it to a male rabbi: so this one is actually a bit of a controversy within the Jewish community, but many people hold by yoatzot halacha (literally law advisors), women who are trained in matters of family law and handles these kinds of questions. there are also other programs in communities in major cities whereby women facilitate anonymous period questions and checks on behalf of other women, like Nili does in my hometown of Chicago. here’s the link to their hotline: https://www.torahchicago.org/nili-hotline.html.

3. The Mikvah

I realize I already got to the part where I answered my friend’s question, but since i hope I still have your attention, lets finish the story so to speak.

I’ll start off this way--aside from people scared about being naked in front of someone they don’t know or embarrassed to know that anyone they meet in the mikvah waiting room is probably going to be having sex that night, and knows that you’re probably gonna have sex that night, I’ve never heard about a complaint about the mikvah.

The entire operation is built like a private spa. Most appointments are scheduled far enough apart to maintain the women’s privacy, the idea being that ideally they won’t see anyone but the receptionist and the mikvah lady (I’ll explain later) before they go in. Women first are taken to a bathroom with a bath or shower, because before going into the mikvah, you gotta be clean. There are fancy soaps and shampoos, shavers, and nail polish remover (gotta take off the nail polish before you go in). Most places have fluffy towels and nice bathrobes and the like, but it really depends on where you are. When you’re done bathing, there’s usually a way to call to the receptionist to let her know that you’re ready to go in.

Soon after, the mikvah lady will come and lead you to the mikvah itself. Her job is to make sure that when you go in that every inch of you (including every strand of your hair) goes underwater. Most women turn around while you undress and only turn around again when you’re in the water, as a measure of maintaining as much privacy as possible. you then dunk, say the blessing, dunk again, say another, optional blessing, and then either get out or dunk another 1-5 times, depending on your mother’s traditions (or whoever taught you)

SUPER SUPER IMPORTANT NOTE: If being naked in front of a stranger triggers trauma or extreme anxiety, talk to both a rabbi and the mikvah lady. There is a way for you to dunk without supervision (which the mikvah lady should know about and be able to teach you how to do) and the mikvah lady MUST leave and let you dunk on your own if you ask. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH COMES FIRST!!!!!

Welp thats the end of our overview. There’s a lot more to get into here (like what exactly makes a mikvah a mikvah, the more spiritual aspect of this commandment, etc), but the goal of this post was mostly to avoid the misconception my friend, a Jewish high schooler in the same Jewish school i went to had. If any rabbis or learned women want to add or correct anything ive just said, please do... like i said in my disclaimer I’m not the most knowledgable about this subject, being that its laws do not yet pertain to me.

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Trinidadian comedian uses humour to say gender-based violence isn't funny

New Post has been published on http://khalilhumam.com/trinidadian-comedian-uses-humour-to-say-gender-based-violence-isnt-funny/

Trinidadian comedian uses humour to say gender-based violence isn't funny

‘It is important to [see] women as equals, worthy of respect’

Rhea-Simone Auguste, better known as the comedian Simmy De Trini. Photograph courtesy Auguste, used with permission. Photo credit: Mark Lyndersay for www.causeaneffect.co

Trinidad and Tobago, which has been grappling with increasing cases of gender-based violence and femicide, is still reeling over the murder of teenager Ashanti Riley, who was stabbed to death after being abducted by the driver of a private hire (PH) taxi on November 29. Since then, online discussion has been rife over the tendency to victim-blame and put the onus on women to protect themselves, as opposed to focusing on changing the culture and socialisation of men. One comedian decided to start pushing for that shift to happen in a rather unconventional way. On Facebook, Rhea-Simone Auguste, better known as Simmy De Trini, has published a series of scenarios, presented in local parlance, that play as reverse sexual harassment. The impact of this unexpected role reversal has emphasised the absurdity of what women are made to endure in the hyper-masculine Caribbean culture. Via WhatsApp, Simmy chatted with Global Voices about the gravity of gender-based violence and why she believes that humour is a good way to jump-start productive public discussion on the issue. Janine Mendes-Franco (JMF): Was this series inspired by the most recent spate of femicides or is this a theme you have been mulling over for a while now?

Simmy De Trini (SDT): As a survivor of both domestic violence and rape, I have been vocal over the last few years about the injustice women face and the inability of our current system to protect women from harm or worse, murder. The “reverse harassment” posts were not planned. I just got fed up of saying the same things so I switched it up and just started doing sarcastic posts about the situation.

JMF: Each of your instalments has attracted hundreds of likes, comments and shares. What kind of discussion did you want to get going?

SDT: When I realised the first post started gaining traction, the others were done with the hope of sparking discussions about the harassment women experience and the kind of attitudes we encounter that we need men to revisit and review in themselves and their friends.

JMF: Some people seem to be missing the point though.

SDT: The people who did not get it were in the minority and did not have an impact on me continuing. I felt like more people understood where I was coming from so I did not hesitate to keep sharing the posts.

JMF: How disturbing is it to you that most women can identify with some measure of what you speak about in these scenarios?

SDT: Very disturbing but not surprising. In conversations with friends, I have heard so many women talk about these situations with men that I already knew many others would have similar experiences and stories.

JMF: Tell us about your journey to becoming a comedian. Your brand of humour always seems to address serious issues by presenting truths in non-threatening ways. Why is this important to you, and as a woman in what remains a macho society, do you feel a responsibility to provoke thought to a greater degree than a male comedian might?

SDT: I started doing stand-up in 2017, as a creative outlet to help me cope and explore topics that had affected or impacted my life. I have some superficial stuff mixed in but try to explore aspects of mental health and domestic violence prevention and abuse when I can. I don't think much about it in terms of a responsibility but hope my messages sink in for those who can relate.

JMF: How do you tap into this ability to place yourself in the midst of an issue, yet find a way to witness the injustice through laughter?

SDT: I really don't overthink things. If something is going on that I want to talk about, I just do it spur of the moment and from my perspective.

JMF: Is there a difference between Simmy the Trini and Rhea-Simone? How do you draw the line?

SDT: Huge difference. Simmy is a stage name and a different personality. Simmy is loud and funny and all about the public life. Rhea-Simone [is] who I am as a person. I am a loner and like to be in quiet spaces where I can hear my own thoughts. People are usually surprised when they meet me and realise that Simmy can be “turned off,” and that I am mostly serious and able to speak on a range of topics that are not necessarily funny, but hold importance. That's why aside from comedy, I have been trying to do more public speaking and motivational speaking engagements because I enjoy talking to people in different settings.

JMF: You’re the mother of two boys. How is your work teaching them to change what seems to be a pervasive objectification of women in Trinidad and Tobago?

SDT: My sons are being raised to respect and value women. The women around me and by extension them are usually strong, vocal and from different walks of life. It is important to me that they grow up seeing women as equals and worthy of respect.

JMF: What do you want this series to accomplish?

SDT: More dialogue about what we have come to accept as the norm — but in reality is a degradation and devaluing of women — leading to these instances of violence, abuse, harassment or murder.

JMF: How do you think we can begin to solve the problem of gender-based violence?

SDT: Just as there is a sexual offenders registry, we need to have a domestic violence registry for repeat offenders. If you check the background of some of the men who end up murdering a woman in a domestic violence scenario, they sometimes have a clear history and pattern and it was escalating. Counselling for both victims and abusers is necessary to help people with anger management and conflict resolution techniques and strategies. Education is important too. I would love to see a full campaign in the public space that shows a no tolerance aspect for abuse and violence against women.

JMF: What role has social media played when it comes to sharing and promoting your work?

SDT: Facebook, in particular, has been important as it has allowed me to grow a following for my work and opened doors for me to get more work not just as a comedian but as a self-employed journalist and content creator.

JMF: Who have been your greatest influences?

SDT: My mom. My sons. Professionally, as a writer, I was trained by and worked with [journalists] Keith Smith, Deborah John and Angela Martin. In terms of comedy, Wanda Sykes — and I hope to work with her one day.

JMF: Imagine you’re doing a show and your audience is only men. What would you say to them, all jokes aside?

SDT: Women are important to the very fabric of our society. You stand to benefit when you see our value, our contributions and our worth.

< p class='gv-rss-footer'>Written by Janine Mendes-Franco

[ahowardnua]

Week two : Story of the door.

Lesson notes.

‘...summarising the first chapter, quizzing your Victorian knowledge, and looking at contemporary issues around 'shame' culture. Also includes suggested writing exercises to get you started with your short story.’

In the first half of the lesson we focused on covering some knowledge of the Victorian era, covering the causes of death and illness. Some of which, in the modern society, are now unheard of. ‘The death bottle’ and ‘post-mortem photography’ were included in this. Looking into the history of the era can help to bring understanding to the themes and cultures that were present at the time and in Jekyll and Hyde.

It allowed us to see how even though ‘repression of unacceptable desires’ was common place, the desires were still there. I found the theme of shame culture to be one of interest for my own story, specifically with pregnant women in that era. It would be interesting to create a story from the POV of a lady in this situation, and then explore the social impact it could have. Another interesting topic could be reproductive rights, and what a woman in that era was and wasn’t allowed to do to her own body.

Sources (independant research):

Person of interest  ‘ Ann Lohman, alias "Madame Restell"  known as a female physician.

http://www.elle.com/life-love/a14570/abortion-in-the-19th-century/  -Article on female ‘birth control’ during the victorian era, with significant attention to Madame Restell. More sources at the end. 

http://theses.ubn.ru.nl/bitstream/handle/123456789/3754/-Masterscriptie_PDF_Meessen-1.pdf?sequence=1  -PDF discussing iconography of ‘fallen women’ and social reasons for female suicide at the time. Also, brings light to what reasonings were given at the time- Eg hysteria.

http://digitalcommons.csbsju.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1016&context=english_pubs  -Pregnant women and the female body in litrature.

Story of the door overview.

‘We meet Gabriel Utterson, a lawyer (non-judgmental by nature). He’s out walking with a distant cousin, Mr Enfield, when they pass a shabby-looking door. Enfield tells Utterson a story. On a ‘black winter morning’ he saw a strange man run headlong into a little girl (who was on her way to fetch a doctor) knocking her to the ground and trampling over her body.’

In this chapter we are introduced to Hyde and the kind of person he is, along with Utterson and Enfild. The chapter give the reader contast between the characters and an idea of what is and isnt acceptable. (Linking it to the shame culture?) We were given more of an analysis of the characters in the session, from the wording used to discribe them. 

Enfeild- ‘On the night in question, returning home from ‘some place at the end of the world’ his ‘way lay through a part of town… all lighted up as if for a procession, and all as empty as a church’ (Stevenson, 1979, p.31) Consider the symbolism of this ‘empty church’.’

Utterson- ‘How ‘rounded’ is Utterson’s character? We know almost nothing about his private life – why do you think this is?’

Between Enfeild, Utterson and Hyde we are given three types of people and different levels of socially acceptable people. Utterson being gentlemanly, Enfiled being the middle ground slightly sleezy(?), whilst Hyde is seen as a brute and the opposite to Utterson.

After assesing the characters we discussed the topic of why Hyde was created, and if it was to make himself appear better than others. Which was then linked into 21st centuary shaming and how its different to in the victorian era.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAIP6fI0NAI 

A look in to a TED talks raised a debate as to if the response from the tweet mentioned was valid or acceptable. 

Sources (independant research):

http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/jekyll/section1.rhtml - Analysis of the chapter.

[hbdtgpawsaaf-blog]

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​Today I had plans to release a small backstory for my character on Skyrim. However, to follow the lore involved in universe of the Elder Scrolls, I had to quickly back peddle on that idea. Instead I thought it would I could talk about the possibilities of what the Dragonborn could have done after Skyrim.

In the Elder Scrolls games; the playable character seems to always have an incredible amount of unique skill, that isn’t available for some of the NPC’s in the games. Leaving a character of that stature to roam the streets of Tamriel, after the game has finished could potentially lead to some large changes in Elder Scrolls lore, because of how much influence they possess.

The Dragonborn would be too damaging to potential canon, if he was to stay in Skyrim after the events of Alduin’s return and his battle with Miraak. Because of his sheer power and immense recognition, he could really complicate things. But where would he go? How could Bethesda possibly describe what happened to the Dragonborn?

Before predictions can be made about his/her whereabouts in Skyrim, Tamriel or even further a field. The quests need to be looked at in great detail, as to decide which quests are actually canon in the Elder Scrolls. Which actions did the Dragonborn make that will actually be placed in the history. The main quest is a guarantee and in fact, it is probably the only guarantee that can be made.

Every player has a different style, which occasionally leads the character down a very different path. One person may decide that their character will be a mighty Companion, another may decide they want to go down a darker path and become the listener in the Dark Brotherhood. However I don’t believe that the side quests or guild quests are canon.

Civil War

College of Winterhold

Thieves Guild

Companions

Dark Brotherhood

There is only one questline that could possibly be affected by the Dragonborn. Although it is unlikely that he could have joined the Dark Brotherhood and became the listener, and it is even more unrealistic that he would have joined the College Of Winterhold and became the Arch-Mage. There is a small possibility that he did in fact take part in the civil war, we know that in the main quest he made peace between the two sides, at least until the dragons were no longer an issue, but it is a guarantee that the truce did not last a very long time. If it is to be believed that the Dragonborn was involved in the future of the civil war, which side would he have chosen? my money is on the Stormcloaks, especially after the few run ins with the Thalmor, ended up in their immediate death.

In past games in the series, the playable character fate wasn’t revealed until the following game. We didn’t know what happened to the Nerevarine after the events of Morrowind until Oblivion. Where we hear that the playable character travelled to Akavir, to never be heard from again. He may still be around during the events of Skyrim, although Alduins return happened centuries later, the Nereverine is practically immortal, as he is lucky enough to be immune to poison and disease, and he also doesn’t age. Yet when you play as him, death is a regular occurrence

We then have the Hero of Kvatch from Oblivion, has their destiny revealed to us in Skyrim, but none other than himself. The Dragonborn comes into contact with the playable character from Oblivion, when he enters the Shivering Isles to meet the Daedric Prince of Madness Sheogorath, who was once known as the Hero of Kvatch. During the Shivering Isles DLC, you help Sheogorath defeat his true form, Jyggalag  (The Daedric prince of Order). Once defeated, Sheogorath is technically no more, as he and Jyggalag truly separate, but just before The Daedric Prince of Order disappears, he places the mantle of Sheogorath onto you. Making the Hero of Kvatch, Sheogorath.

This shows that Bethesda think long and hard about ways to avoid the playable character getting involved in future events. The Hero of Kvatch was removed from Tamriel by placing him in Oblivion, ruling over the Shivering Isles. Although he can still get involved with mortal affairs (as he does with the Dragonborn), they have made him a daedric prince, removing his persona of the man/women who stopped the oblivion crisis. Whilst the Nerevarine is in Akavir, away from Tamriel, it could be possible that one day he would return, it does seem unlikely.

As Oblivion made the DCL of The Shivering Isles canon to Elder Scrolls Lore, it would be very likely that the Dragonborn DLC may too be considered canon in the future games. Especially as it’s a questlines that revolves heavily around the character himself, he only fights Miraak because he is the Dragonborn, no mere mortal would be able to take on such a questline.

The Dragonborn questline is different to other quests, as any character could have taken part in them, they don’t need to be this special and unique person to do them. An example of this is the Dawnguard questline, you are asked to join the Dawnguard by a high-ranking member, who just so happens to be asking multiple people to join their ranks. This questline as well as the Dark Brotherhood and the Civil War questlines also have multiple endings, the Dragonborn basically decides who wins the war, if he should help the vampires reign supreme and even if the Dark Brotherhood get to live on in Skyrim. Yes he is a character that is strong enough to decide these fates, however their are many other characters in the world of the Elder Scrolls that have the potential to make these changes. Whereas in the main quest and in the Dragonborn DLC, only the playable character actually has the power and technically has the birth right to do these, it was his destiny to take part in these events.

But if Miraaks battle was canon, does that mean that the Dragonborn could possibly be stuck in Apocrypha, left to replace Miraak in Hermaeus Mora’s plane of Oblivion. This could have been one way that Bethesda could actually avoid the Dragonborn ever affecting future events in the Elder Scrolls. What a shit life that would be.

Another possibility, is that he eventually took up a life of solitude and wisdom, by joining Paarthurnax and the Grey beards in High Hrothgar. There he would be unable to take part in future events, as the Greybeards do not partake in things that go on in Tamriel. It would be a logical step for the Dragonborn to take, with their help, the playable character would be truly able to master the way of the voice, and venture deeper into understanding every Thu’um that is available to him. In my own opinion, this is the most likely scenario that could have happened after Miraaks defeat, as he could both become the most powerful Dragonborn in history, as well as keep to Bethesda’s usual ideology of not getting involved in future events.

Bethesda may even decide that some mods could be used for canon, which although is rather unlikely, however some of the mods that have been created by gamers are so immense in size and in gameplay, that it could be a smart move by the company. There are some mods that could show a possible destiny and/or fate for the character himself.

The ‘Helgen Reborn’ mod shows a future, where the Dragonborn helps rebuild the castle town to back to its once great state. Building it back to former glory and making some vast improvements at the same time. This could be an alternate ending for the character, being one of the few survivors in the destruction of Helgen, it would make sense that the Dragonborn could oversee its construction, along with training the soldiers and getting his own private tower to make his home.

Another mod that is entirely possible, is The High King of Skyrim mod. This mod allows the playable character, to gain followers to back the Dragonborn’s claim to the throne of Skyrim. Although it is a little far-fetched,the character is that influential and that wise, that it would make sense. Especially as you can get Elisif and Ulfric on your side, as they themselves will even back your claim. If they don’t, then it is quite easy to kill them. For this to become canon though, I truly believe that the Stormcloaks would have had to win the civil war, and then a possible war with the empire would follow these events. But with the dragonborn on your side, Skyrim stands a chance.

My final theory is an odd one, but it could be seen as an ever so slightly possible choice for Bethesda to make on what actually happened to the Dragonborn, after the events of Skyrim. This theory is that when he was challenged by the Ebony Warrior, he actually won the battle and in doing so, he took up the mantle, becoming the Ebony Warrior. We don’t know an awful lot about the characters backstory, only knowing that he is a Redguard and is formidable in combat. Because of our lack of knowledge about the character, as he is so shrouded in mystery, this could be a way forward for the Dragonborn. Although this theory isnt talked about as much as many others, I can see some merit to this idea, we all know that the Dragonborn in lethal in battle, and would most likely have been the most likely character in Tamriel strong enough to eventually defeat the Ebony Warrior.

Unfortunately we will not know the destiny of the playable character until Elder Scrolls 6 is released, and until then we can ony speculate. As much as I would love the Dragonborn to have become the Ebony Warrior, we will not find out the truth for a few more years, so the wait continues.

Thank you so much for reading.

What happened to the Dragonborn ? ​Today I had plans to release a small backstory for my character on Skyrim. However, to follow the lore involved in universe of the Elder Scrolls, I had to quickly back peddle on that idea.

[apsbicepstraining]

The brand-new status badge: it’s not what you waste – it’s how hard “youre working”

The rich used to show how much we are able to spend on acts they didnt necessitate. Today, a public display of productivity is the new mark of class power

Almost 120 years ago, during the first Gilded Age, sociologist Thorstein Veblen coined the term conspicuous consumption. He used it to refer to wealthy person flaunting their money through wasteful spending. Why buy a thousand-dollar clothing when a hundred-dollar one suffices the same serve? The answer, Veblen answered, was ability. The rich said their dominance by showing how much fund we are able to burn on acts they didnt need.

While radical at the time, Veblens observation seems obvious now. In the interfere decades, conspicuous consumption has already become deeply embedded in the quality of American capitalism. Our new Gilded Age will be still more Veblenian than the last. Todays captains of manufacture broadcast their social post with private islands and superyachts while the president of the United States includes nearly everything he owns in gold.

But the acquisition of insanely expensive stocks isnt the only practice that modern upper-class project dominance. More lately, another form of status flaunt has risen. In the new Gilded Age, relating oneself as a member of the ruling class doesnt just require conspicuous consumption. It expects noticeable production .

If conspicuous consumption commits the praise of luxury, noticeable production concerns the worship of strive. It isnt about how much you invest. Its about how hard “youre working”.

Nowhere is the cult of conspicuous product more visible than among Americas CEOs. Todays top executives are committed work-worshippers, virtually to the point of wickednes. Apple CEO Tim Cook told Timethat he begins his era at 3.45 am. General Electric CEO Jeff Immelt told Fortunethat he has worked 100 -hour workweeks for 24 times. Not to be exceed, Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer told Bloomberg Newsthat she used to work 130 -hour workweeks. And so on.

It must be said that these individuals arent working out of necessity. The vast majority of Americans drive because their survival depends on a payment. By distinguish, Mayer, Immelt and Cook could withdraw tomorrow and still live extremely comfortably for the rest of their lives, with plenty left over to pass on to the next generation their collective net worth is almost $1.5 bn.

But conspicuous yield isnt about congregating ones information necessities. Its about the public display of productivity as a badge of class influence. In an era of extreme inequality, elites need to demonstrate to themselves and others that they deserve to own orderings of quantity more money than everyone else. Cook is nearly 500,000% richer than the average American but he wakes up at 3.45 in the morning. This is the hallmark of conspicuous production: it justifies the existence of an imperial class by showcasing their superhuman levels of industry.

The irony is that grueling workweeks arent alone an society phenomenon. Far from it. Many less fortunate Americans perform same feats of productivity, although they have fewer incentives and opportunities to advertise it. A recent study by the Economic Policy Institute found that Americans proletarians labor significantly more hours than they did a few decades ago specially ladies, black people and the poorest of the poor. A black wife in the bottom fifth of earners operated 349 more hours in 2015 than she would have in 1979. The reason is simple: wages have just budged since the 1970 s, which means todays proletarians have to work harder to make ends meet.

Compare the woman toiling long hours for minimum wage with the woman toiling the same hours for $30 m a year. One is trying to avoid starvation and homelessness; the other is broadcasting her influence and cachet. The proletariat of the latter isnt necessary in the normal sense but neither is a ten-thousand-dollar handbag. If conspicuous consumption celebrates gratuitous spending, noticeable production celebrates gratuitous acting. Both convey preeminence by making a sight of excess.

In the first Gilded Age, plethora was like a woman in pearls alongside the status of women in rags. In the second largest Gilded Age, it looks like a woman who works hundred-hour workweeks but doesnt requirement the money, alongside the status of women who works just as hard but can just continue a ceiling over her head.

Yet noticeable product takes many forms. Even people who cant afford to retire tomorrow going to be able engage in some form of it and experience a part of the elite status that it awards. Veblens most provocative proof was that the wastefulness of the rich inspired esteem , not anger. Other class tried to emulate it as best we are able to: middle-class beings couldnt live like a railroad baron, but we are able to indulge in little indulgences to entreat up their social endure. The same principle applies to noticeable creation. Most Americans will never attain the decadent elevations of CEO-style hyperwork, but they can still make a fetish of productivity.

Peak productivity: engineering has allowed us to turn our lives into a dashboard of data that can be monitored and weighed. Photo: Alamy Stock Photo

One way is to turn your holiday into proletariat by working on yourself. The most obvious sample is effort, which has acquired a addictive attribute among members of the urban professional class. The neighborhoods where theyre likely to live are littered with outlet fitness studios such as SoulCycle and indulgence gyms such as Equinox. These are the locations where the labor of self-improvement and self-purification continue long after the labor required to make ones legislations expirations. And they exist alongside a complementary ecosystem of juice tables and organic food stores, where one procures the proper fuel to influence the production processes the self.

The stated conclude for all the committee is health. But the amount of duration that many better-off Americans invest exercising far exceeds what is required to be healthy. Thats because the intricate requires of todays fitness and nutritional regimens arent ultimately about wellbeing. Theyre designed to express class ability. In the second largest Gilded Age, you can typically calculate person or persons charge bracket by their physique class is literally inscribed on their own bodies. Richer bodies arent simply thinner but precise muscled in all sorts of ways. They reflect an enormous and, strictly speaking, useless outlay of try. They personify work in excess of necessitate, signaling asset through wastefulness and apologizing ones control of it through the performance of personal virtue.

But you dont have to be a CEO or an affluent professional to partake in noticeable product. Technology has made it possible for everyone to see everything as a chance for productivity. You can measure your sleep, sex and paces with a Fitbit, your attractiveness with Tinder, your wittiness with Twitter, your notoriety with Facebook. You can alter your identity into a dashboard of data river that can be monitored, analyzed and optimized with the precision of an industrial process. You can alter your life into a factory and not only metaphorically. In creating yourself, you produce economic value for others. The hours you spend on these platforms may be unwaged, but they generate real income for the companies that own them.

This is the genius of noticeable production. It not only promotes a culture of overwork, it obliges our diminishing quantity of leisure time economically productive. There is no escape: either were working for the company or were working on ourselves, but were always cultivating. Eight hours for production, eight hours for remain, eight hours of what we will was the hymn of the employees who firstly demanded the eight-hour-day more than a century ago.Those marks dont make sense any more. Even our sleep is factored into our productivity score the entrepreneur of the self never gets to clock out.

Today, the old-fashioned slogan of the labor movement is just like utopian science fiction. Imagine a society that claimed so little of our strive. Reckon a macrocosm where the poorest of the poor didnt are now working so hard to exist, and the rich didnt have to work so hard to appear worthy of their capital, because rich and good didnt exist.

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[caredogstips]

In adoration of’ Riverdale’–and the teenage drama’s groundbreaking homosexuals fornication

Riverdale wouldnt be a teen soap without its fair share of pining. Although the CW drama borrows the layer of David Lynchs Twin Peaks , which fits its Archie comic nature like a close-fisted angora sweater, its firmly in the habit of reveals like My So-Called Life and Veronica Mars. You know, where fresh-faced juveniles want what they cant have.

Betty Cooper( Lili Reinhart) and Veronica Lodge( Camilla Mendez) both only happen to passion the same thought: Archie Andrews( KJ Apa ), a classical shy-but-silent jock with a Baz Luhrmann dye job. Jughead Jones( Cole Sprouse) will do anything it takes to keep the town drive-in open, the kind of residence where they show a double feature of Reservoir Dogs and Easy Rider on a Saturday night.

But the only person in municipality who seems to be going what the hell is crave is Kevin Keller( Casey Cott ). While other reputations in Riverdale wait by their telephone for that certain someone to call, Kevin has something to say when it sounds. During the substantiates pilot, the teenage facilitates a hookup with a closeted jock appointed Moose( although one premises not legally so ), whom Kevin claims is every inch of his name. The two share an clandestine skinny dip. Kevin would be living his best life, if not for the fact that the two uncover a dead body during their moonlight tryst.

Riverdale flip-flop the dialogue on the category by making Kevin the only being in a 50 -mile radius with a healthy, developed fornication life. Archie has a bad fantasy with Miss Grundy( Sarah Habel ), a music teach who is about 30 years and one impending statutory rape belief collected from the priggish old maid of the comics. While their classmates fornication it up, lesbian characters in youth-oriented dramas very rarely get to enjoy the perks of has become a teen. The homosexual BFF is a snappy dresser and ready with a sassy one-liner, but he rarely goes his Molly Ringwald moment. He might get a two-second kiss with his longtime beau in season 3–faces crushed together to suggest intimacy–before producers cut to black.

To mention a catchy quantity from fellow CW substantiate Crazy Ex-Girlfriend : You know the trope/ in storytelling its a norm. TV Tropes announces it But Not Too Gay. To avoid the wrath of censors, LGBTQ personas in prime-time TV are generally as chaste as bingo nighttime at the local convent. The gays dont get to have much fun. In its first few seasons, Glee s Kurt( Chris Colfer) was too busy fending off academy bullies to get some. Seasons after Cam( Eric Stonestreet) and Mitchell( Jesse Tyler Ferguson) are eventually allowed to kiss on Modern Family , love still wonder whether the peculiar pair isnt privately cosplaying The War of the Roses .

LGBTQ woos on displays as varied as Gossip Girl , True Blood , Brooklyn Nine-Nine , Ugly Betty , and The Wire never got the screen hour allotted to their straight equivalents. Tara and Willow hugged a lot on Buffy the Vampire Slayer , and author Joss Whedon had to threaten to leave the depict to get the network to allow the couple to kiss. Game of Thrones liberally depicts women being sexually assaulted, but when it comes to the male bedroom partnership with Oberyn Martell( Pedro Pascal ), a pansexual libertine, many of the raunchiest minutes are implied.

If gay sees have been waiting for some equal opportunity boom boom pow, Riverdale is ready to let them get in on the action. The prove, been developed by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa( Carrie ), is knowing when it comes to homosexual teenage stereotypes and treats Kevins storyline with a meta glint. When the specific characteristics is first introduced, Veronicaa rich daughter looking for a fresh start at her new institution after her Bernie Madoff-like parent is imprisonedloudly proclaims that she and Kevin are destined for Will and Graceland. Lets be best friends, she suggests. As if to further call attention the archetype, aim girl Cheryl Blossom( Madelaine Petsch) requests Kevin if the gay BFF is still a event in a later occurrence.

From the first second hes on-screen, its clear Kevin isnt your usual sexless chum. Snooping on Bettys comely next door neighbor, Archie, through the describe draperies, he commentaries that our crimson-coiffed hero went red-hot. Should you be wondering if the moment is a reference to Hitchcock, a space is never exactly a opening in Riverdale . If theres any analysi of the demonstrate to be had, its that Aguirre-Sacasa grows the pastiche up to 11.

Straight male references have gotten to be horny since the boys of Porkys detected the glee of the gloryhole, but its frankly revolutionary to picture a homosexual teens devouring libido dealt with at the same solemn admiration. Kevin gets more activity than a toilet seat. After sharing a too-long search with a fellow theatergoer on the night of the drive-ins last hurrah, the two are making out just minutes later. The minor even gets the talk from his father–who simply wants his son to be safe while hes conveying his age-appropriate counsels. The two discuss the dos and donts of cruising. Boys like Archie get to talk about their sexuality lives on Tv all the time, but the Kevins of the world never do.

Kevin, a fan favourite from the comics, is nothing short of a discovery, and it would be alluring to say theres never been a character fairly like him. This is both true and not true. Television has been realise great strides in recent years to allow LGBTQ people to have fully realized lives, whether thats inside or outside of the bedroom.

Shonda Rhimes, the woman behind every present you adore, has been a trailblazer for depicting gay friendship with unflinching honest. Rhimes has brought us complex, three-dimensional, same-sex relationships on appearances like Greys Anatomy and Scandal , and she has claimed her formula is easy. There are no gay incidents, she tweeted responding to a viewer complaint about the frequent bouts of interracial sodomy on How to Get Away With Murder . There are scenes with people in them. Starring Viola Davis as a high-powered law professor, Murder likewise brought us videos first male-on-male analingus. Conservative groups withdrew to their respective fainting chairs, but the evidences ratings have yet to suffer.

The realistic and even seductive intercourse on establishes like Transparent and Looking show weve emanated a long way in a decade. Noah and Luke, the resident lesbian supercouple on As the World Turns , attained headlines when they shared their first smooch in 2007. But after that kiss, the two expend a lot of season exchanging longing looks–which isnt exactly what all those headless torsos are looking for on Grindr. Followers held a kitty to see how long it would be before their lips were reunited. If your answer was 211 daytimes in between smooches, you prevailed. Congratulations.

Television, though, still has a lot of work to do when it comes to treating same-sex intimacy not as a inhibition but a fact of life. On shows like Girls , Youre the Worst , Broad City , and Westworld , the sexuality between its heterosexual personas is a default, the logical , no-big-deal judgment of meet at a rail and going home together or acquiring a charity robot from a futuristic theme park. The happening that Jessa( Jemima Kirke) and Adam( Adam Driver) have so much better copulation that it alienates their friends is treated as a comic nuisance but nothing out of the ordinary for two self-absorbed 20 -somethings wholive in Brooklyn, New York.

Riverdale s randy gay teenager is certainly groundbreaking, but the real progress “il come when” Kevin taking a dip with a stupidly nicknamed jock no longer seems like a big deal.

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