crappyvideogamer-blog

[california-112]

TRUST NO ONE???

[inhonoredglory]

Defining Ineffable Love (or, Aziracrow Learn the Rules of Romance)

(In response to this ask about ineffables and asexuality)

One of the major threads this season was Aziraphale and Crowley asking themselves what exactly is their relationship. Not what it is in terms of how much they love each other. (That's a given.) But what it is in terms of the human implications of their love.

Crowley and Aziraphale definitely come at the relationship with different perspectives, in terms of what they’re willing to admit to the relationship being. I don’t think we can entirely interpret it in human terms. –David Tennant (source)

For 6000 years, they’ve never put a name on their relationship. They didn’t, because they’re inhuman, genderless, sexless beings and they didn’t grow up (as it were) with labels. And even when they did learn them, they couldn’t say it was love, because admitting that was a death sentence.

All of Aziraphale’s heart eyes and pining could live comfortably in his mind if he never admitted what that said about him as an angel (trauma compartmentalization). Crowley tries desperately to be cruel and nasty to add white noise around the blatant reality of his constant loyalty to Aziraphale. If you don’t put a word to it, it’s not real and they can’t punish you.

After the Not-pocalypse, for all rights and purposes, Aziraphale and Crowley chose humanity as their identity. We see Aziraphale “playing house” in various human roles (as a landlord, a private eye, a magician).

We even see Crowley intentionally taking on human behavior to handle emotional issues: “Just breathe, that’s what humans do.” They’re slowly and intentionally enculturating themselves into the world they want to belong––earth.

Yet it’s setting up Maggie and Nina that makes Aziraphale and Crowley start thinking about their relationship as a human construct.

Because fundamentally, Aziraphale and Crowley are not human. Like Neil Gaiman tells us constantly, they can’t be defined in human terms when it comes to gender and sexuality. They can shift and move through each and any of those markers at will, purely for the pleasure of the thing: “angels are sexless unless they really want to make an effort.”

IMO that makes them originally asexual, in the sense they were created without the need for sex. And it makes them fundamentally transgender and genderfluid, because while on earth, their sexless, eldritch spiritual bodies take on human, gendered forms and clothing. What gender (and sexuality) they identify with while on earth varies through the eras. Crowley definitely has a fluid gender identity, while Aziraphale appears to have settled on gay man (aka THE southern pansy) for his internal typology (although all of these identities are subject to change).

In the midst of all this fluidity, it’s no wonder Aziraphale and Crowley haven’t thought of their relationship in human terms before. There’s just so much different in them and their bodies than what they see in humanity. And there are no books and songs that show the kind of love they have, in the malleable, sexless bodies they have, with the background they have; it’s all ineffable.

Aziraphale and Crowley didn’t start out thinking they were in a romantic relationship. Whatever feelings they had were long repressed, redefined, and shuttled away. But they did love each other, without question. And it was that love which scared them, because it was bigger than anything they saw among humans, a love that was beautiful and blasphemous and unfathomable.

Kinda like what David Duchovny said about Mulder and Scully in The X-Files, “I don’t know if they’re in love. In a way, their relationship is deeper than that, because they cannot live without each other.”

Now take this profound, ineffable love and drop it into the little boxes and labels human culture has created for itself.

Full disclosure: I’m an asexual demiromantic person in a queerplatonic relationship, so I’ve done a fair bit of research on what romance is and how the rituals of romance are, in many ways, social inventions that vary from culture to culture. There’s love and then there’s romance, and they don’t always overlap. So my interpretation of Aziraphale and Crowley comes through this lens and the fact that Neil Gaiman has affirmed the validity of an ace-spec reading on our ineffables.

Which brings me back to my thesis: That only now are Aziraphale and Crowley thinking of themselves as a romantic couple, precisely because they are interfacing with humans and taking on their social rules.

I like this one asexual person’s description of their experience, which feels very much like our ineffables (from a very good article, I def recommend):

If there is a border between friendship and romance, then in my internal landscape, it goes right through a misty forest where no one has ever bothered to place signs.... Neither of us had intended to start anything even vaguely romantic, but the activities we did and the intense kind of immediate connection we had was coded as romantic in our culture.

That’s what Crowley realizes when Nina confronts him about his relationship to Aziraphale.

“It looks like that from here.” What Crowley and Aziraphale share is beyond definition, but Nina cannot imagine the anything beyond the human labels she was taught. The tragedy of an everlasting love is that it can only be conveyed properly to other humans if it is cast in such small human words––partner, boyfriend, husband.

Because when Crowley denied those human roles for Aziraphale, Nina slid down the path of thinking Aziraphale was just his “bit on the side,” because there were no labels left she could imagine for them. If you don’t put a word to it, it’s not real.

That’s the purpose of labels, to culturally validate a person's identity. Labels, of course, DO NOT create reality; people's experiences are always real, in all their varied ineffability. But labels allow a space for culture (ie other humans and political and legal society) to recognize formally your lived reality.

So Crowley started really thinking about him and Aziraphale, about the ineffable love between them and realized that in human terms, those would be the things he’d call Aziraphale, because those were the words that gave Aziraphale that place of importance in his life.

But with that realization comes all the human trappings and behavioral patterns around those words (the candlelit dinners, dramatic rescues, drinks at the Ritz, etc.) which Crowley had never thought of before, and yet… maybe romance is what he and Aziraphale have been doing all along.

That’s why this season centered so much around Aziraphale and Crowley using cultural artifacts (film and literature) to understand romance, because romance is so deeply socially-defined.

Aziraphale himself has been leaning hard into the romantic social cues (he’s more well-read in the cultural trappings of romance than Crowley is), especially post-Blitz. But when he watches Maggie and Nina dancing, he works up the courage to do something with Crowley that’s even more explicitly loaded as “traditionally romantic” than anything he’s done up to that point.

Because while risking their lives for each other and defying everything for each other is love in its purest form, dancing (specifically in Jane Austen’s world) is a public performance coded for potential marriage partners. It's an intimate ritual of the entire body. (And in British slang, dancing has been used as a euphemism for sex.)

Crowley's "We don't dance" is really telling, because it shows Crowley’s awareness of the unknowable devotion between them vs the human roles Aziraphale is asking him to fill, specifically its physical aspects. Aziraphale is asking to make their relationship more public, more physically explicit, more coded as romantic in a setting specifically intended to couple individuals.

While Maggie and Nina inspired Aziraphale to progress their relationship into a publicly physical direction, Maggie and Nina inspired Crowley to think of the emotional implications of their human roles: the commitment, security, and monogamy of a husband, a partner, an us.

That’s what he decides after Maggie and Nina confront him in the end. “You never say what you’re really thinking.” He wants to codify his relationship so they each become responsible to one another. Aziraphale has always been his soulmate, the one he could always rely on. But he wants to place a word and a role to their love that will bring with it Aziraphale’s commitment and dedication to him.

And that's another reason why Crowley kisses Aziraphale, because he knows Aziraphale was willing to make their relationship physical, and he wants that, too. To consummate this bond in the way humans do.

But Crowley doesn’t really know how to kiss; he’s not as worldly as he makes out to be. (It’s Aziraphale who owns the gun, and Crowley who’s never fired one.) He uses the kiss as a tool to get across to Aziraphale what he wants for them, in the physical language Aziraphale has been using, because "one fabulous kiss and we're good," right?

But it doesn’t work, because real life and real emotions don’t work like that; life and love don’t follow a script, despite the novels and plays and songs.

Aziraphale and Crowley spent this entire season trying to figure out what their relationship is and what they wanted out of it, trying to make sense of the unfathomable thing they share and the human implications of it, and not quite landing on the same page.

Part 2 of this Analysis, covering a correction in Crowley’s statement (“You don’t dance”) and the further implications of dancing/sex.

[baronessblixen]

Fictober Day 12: The Sweetest Tune

Prompt: "Did you hear that?"

It's late at the Hoover building and Mulder hears a noise… Rating: T, wc: 1,013

Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober24

“Did you hear that?” Mulder whispers, putting her hands on her shoulders. It’s 10 p.m. on a Friday and they’re on their way out of the Hoover building. Any noise they might hear won’t be good news.

“Hear what?” she asks, not lowering her voice.

“This,” he says, pointing up.

“Mulder, it’s late and we’re-” he silences her, putting a finger on her lips. He keeps it there, willing her to listen. All she can hear is Mulder’s breathing and her own heartbeat. It drowns out everything else. Her other senses are at high alert; Mulder’s finger is salty and the feel of it against her lips makes her thirsty.

“Do you really not hear that?” His voice is low, his face close to hers.

“I don’t,” she replies in a whisper.

“Someone is singing.”

“You’re imagining things,” Scully says, stepping forward, her heels clicking on the floor.

“Take off your shoes.”

“Excuse me?” She stares up at him.

“We need to investigate,” he mumbles, helping her slip out of her shoes. She can’t believe she’s doing this. As crazy as he might be, she’s not much better. “Let’s go.” He steers her as they make their way through the abandoned hallway. Scully glances up at the ceiling, wondering if any security cameras are catching this. If so, they will surely become water cooler topic number one again.

“There,” Mulder says. Before now, Scully hasn’t paid attention to where they are. Her focus has been on getting out of here. Who works until 10 p.m. on a Friday night anyway? Only Agents Mulder and Scully.

“This is Kersh’s office,” Scully hisses, and Mulder nods, his eyes huge.

“It’s coming from inside.” She can only watch as Mulder presses his ear against the door. His open mouth transforms into a smile and if she wasn’t so scared of getting caught – by Kersh, of all people – she might think of Mulder as adorable.

“Mulder, we need to leave.”

“He’s singing, Scully. Come here.” She shakes her head, not moving. “You want to hear this.” He holds out his hand to her and it’s his smile that wins her over in the end. Doesn’t it always? She takes his hand and lets herself be drawn to his side. There’s no reason for them to stand there tangled together, both with their ears pressed against the door. At first, Scully doesn’t hear it. She’s this close to calling Mulder out for hearing things that aren’t even there when she catches the voice.

“There.” Mulder’s mouth is against her neck and his voice is a low murmur, sending goosebumps all over her body. “Do you hear it?” She’d hear it better without his proximity distracting her. But there it is again. A man’s voice. Unmistakably their boss, A.D. Kersh. Now she understands why Mulder is smiling. She turns, her mouth hanging open in surprise. Hearing him sing is one thing, but hearing him belt out a cheesy ballad in perfect pitch is quite another.

“And you thought I was crazy.” Mulder is grinning from ear to ear as they continue to listen to Kersh’s surprisingly smooth voice. Scully tugs at Mulder’s sleeve to get his attention.

“Let’s go.”

“We’re almost at the great finish,” he mouths. “Listen.” Scully does listen, but more than that, she’s watching Mulder, unable to hide her giggle as he closes his eyes, mouthing the words along. Who would have guessed that Mulder knows the lyrics to “I Will Always Love You” by heart? Kersh hits all the notes behind the door, but out here, Scully is mesmerized by Mulder. His eyes pop open again, twinkling with warmth and amusement. The song ends, with Kersh still humming along. Scully doesn’t have Mulder’s bat-like hearing, but it distinctively sounds as if their boss’s voice is coming closer to the door.

“Mulder,” she insists, tugging at his sleeve again.

“We need to run,” he says and a moment later, they do. One of her shoes slips out of Mulder’s hands on their way to the elevator and he sprints back to retrieve it. Meanwhile, Scully is giggling, trying to be as quiet as possible.

“Stairs,” Mulder says when the elevator takes its sweet time. Scully groans, but follows him into the stairwell. They’re standing there, both out of breath, grinning at each other.

“Do you think he knew anyone was listening?” Scully asks, trying to catch her breath.

“No. He was in the zone. Who knew, huh? We only ever hear him bark at us and here he is putting Whitney Houston to shame. What about you, Scully?” He hands her her shoes back, but she’s not putting them back on. Mulder raises an eyebrow but says nothing. They make their way down the stairs.

“What about me?” she asks.

“Are you hiding a singing talent?”

“Mulder, you’ve heard me sing,” she reminds him. “I can’t carry a tune.”

“You carried that tune, Scully,” he says with a wistful look and she glares at him. “You have a nice voice. I mean you’re no Alvin Kersh, but who is?” His grin returns. “Maybe you could give an encore?” They’re almost downstairs now. What a Friday night. Once upon a time, her friends would call and ask her to meet them after work, get a drink, and maybe go dancing. But how can she feel like she’s missing something when she has a Mulder? Who’s invading her personal space while wearing the world’s cutest grin?

“I only sing when we’re lost in the woods,” she says, playing along. Before entering the parking garage, she puts on her shoes again. Mulder waits for her, playing with his car keys.

“So if I find us another-”

“Don’t push your luck, Mulder.”

“Just in case,” he promises. “If we ever do find ourselves in the forest again, you’ll sing.”

“Fine,” she says, but only because she wants to go home.

“It’s a date then,” Mulder says. “See you Monday, Scully.” He jogs off and she stands there, wondering what she’s agreed to.

Did he just say date?

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 20 thoughts

dare i say it, once again… new favorite episode??

okay, my previous favorite episode was an ENTIRELY different direction from this one, but i’d say there should be one best episode for serious stuff and one best episode for the silly!!! and this takes the silly crown!! and tbh i can't make an actual hard and fast rating anyway because there are so many great things to choose from- but this is amongst them, for me, in terms of legendary episodes!

please, join me on this ride, which i enjoyed each second of, and will need to someday rewatch without pausing every 0.5 seconds to jot something i noticed down. the live experience begins beneath the cut.

it’s been 84 years…. (3 days since i’ve seen an episode)

ooo, this sounds interesting! is scully going to work with an author?? are we gonna learn more about the things that she reads?? this is prime content to a person like me

stars…. space ship….. filled with tubes and wires and other such things…… just kidding!!! it’s a guy working on some electrical stuff. whilst two people drive by!! i thought they were mulder and scully at first but they are not

“um, i don’t want to scare you, but i think i’m madly in love with you” says this guy who is not mulder but actually named harold to this girl who is not scully but is actually named chrissy. OH! and this is the first date. so that was a weird thing to say. i thought it was quite sweet at first but that changes things for sure.

GASP! UFO be upon them. creatures are coming out to get them. she asks what they are and he says “how the hell should i know?” ooo ooo i know! they are aliens 👽 and then the two fall on top of each other like they are knocked out… and the aliens drag them away???? 

until a king kong looking fellow rolls up. very puppet-y. and the aliens don’t know what this creature is either!!! and also ask what that thing is and the response is “how the hell should i know?” haha i see what you did there... out aliening the alien

bum bum bum bum…. (<- my attempt at recreating the noise of the intro)

now, what was that? i'm stuck on the king kong and godzilla love child puppet….

scan up on mulder’s iconic poster!!! and a guy is here who is yet again not mulder. his name is mr. chung and mulder will NOT talk to him… oooh, what is their beef…?

mr. chung is saying he always felt alienated on this planet, who can even imagine actual aliens! and he has a point there.

oh! scully is a big fan of this fellow, which is why she agreed to talk to this guy!!! he calls her beautiful, which is true, but time and place 

so he isn’t even interested in aliens, but his publisher said he should write a book on the matter. he is going to create a NEW genre: non fiction science fiction, a gimmick that will give him money. this seems somewhat disappointing to scully, who must be a believer in artistic integrity, but i find his honesty refreshing.

she wants him to tell the truth, but apparently he spent 3 months in kass county where all this stuff went down, and NO ONE could tell him what actually happened. the truth is just as subjective as reality. which sounds like something i learned in history class. and, it helps explain why everyone with an alien story starts with some variation of, "i know this sounds crazy, but"...

so he wants HER version of hearing of the case. also he touches her arm and... let's slow down a little there, mr. chung.

OHHH we are seeing a story told in flashbacks!!!! narrated by scully!! how wonderful!!!

this girl is suffering from “missing time”, a phenomenon we have come to know well here on this blog. also her clothes are inside out and she has signs of abuse. not looking great for her.

apparently mulder prefers the term “abductee” to “experiencer”, which mr. chung has valid disagreements with. we go on, however.

this poor girl is seeing aliens that are not there and her nose is bleeding. WAIT! it’s the guy from before! harold and chrissy! he comes to her window to say he did everything he could but she rejects him, thinking he had drugged and assaulted her. yikes.

harold is testifying that he was abducted by aliens, but no one believes him. he stuck to his story UNTIL our agents arrived!

(MULDER SAYS SOMETHING VERY OUT OF POCKET HERE ABOUT GOING TO PRISON BUT LET'S KEEP MOVING)

despite this announcement of presumed prison time, mulder brings chrissy in for questioning. asking her if she has all the symptoms of “post abduction disorder”, which she confirms, while scully rolls her eyes with great force in the background. and he talks the girl’s parents into letting her do hypnosis.

“what is your opinion of hypnosis?”, mr. chung asks scully, which is something i also have been dying to know! i mean, we saw her do a little bit before, but it didn’t seem to be a positive experience. she says it has therapeutic value, but has never been proven to enhance memory; it even makes memory worse. a very balanced and doctor-ly answer! 

LMAO scully is so cute… mr. chung mentions another book he wrote and she proclaims it “one of the greatest thrillers ever written” <- STOP I LOVE HER SHE IS SUCH A NERRRRD 😭😭

mr. chung said the FBI knew nothing about how hypnosis worked back during the MK ULTRA days… and he is fascinated by the idea of a person’s consciousness being transformed by listening to words. admittedly very fascinating! you could probably say the same about meditation, no?

(but he speaks to the power of storytelling, i realize now in hindsight! how we find ourselves wrapped up in the tales of things that never happened, how it fills us with sorrow or joy! how fascinating! i see what you did there, writers!)

cutscene to hypnotizing chrissy. who is seeing aliens. she is on a space ship wearing a fit that looks very similar to a lady gaga chromatica era performance, but it has tubes attached to her. harold is in a very similar contraption!!!!

she says the aliens are arguing without moving their mouths and she hears the lead alien in her head saying it’s for the good of her planet. and he is stealing her memories? um. for what purpose...

scully is serving looks in the corner while this goes down, looking mad as hell and very good. she says chrissy's abduction story seems a little TOO typical… and i have to agree! but mulder says no, there are TWO people with the same story! they can't both be lying, surely!

LMAOOOO they play with censoring the dude who comes in and yells at them… “well, of course he didn’t actually say ‘bleeped’” 

(BAHAHA i’m loving this insight into how scully’s memories operate. so this angry man is named detective manners)

“you still gonna hold the boy?” “oh, you bet your blankety-blank bleep i am” <- i am a simple woman, and an actor delivering these lines with a straight face whilst surrounded by other actors keeping a very straight face is going to make me cackle. look at her looking so bored while he says that. i’m howling!!!!

anyway, harold has a very different story on what went down that night, that did not seem to involve gaga-inspired fits, but instead they were both placed in electrified cages. while another alien in a nearby cage smokes a cigarette. he seems to be what i would call “an unbothered king”

in this story, harold claims that he will protect chrissy and never let anything happen to her, and of course something immediately happens to her while he hides in the corner like a baby. lmao.

and this alien is talking in english! not telepathically! he keeps repeating “this is not happening” until harold ALSO gets taken by the thing that took chrissy. 

mulder is trying to figure out what is going on, but his predictions aren’t lining up with what happened to harold. scully is pacing and looking pissed, and again, very pretty.

“you know when you’re a kid, and you tore the legs off a bug for no reason?”, asks harold (cutscene to mulder’s face with visible confusion) LMAOOOOOOO

scully getting to business: did you engage in consensual sexual intercourse that night? she is not messing around! she's had it up to here with the shenanigans of harold and chrissy!

harold is very very quiet until he says that her father will kill him if he finds out!!! gasp!!! confirmation!!!

so is this whole story just… a cover up??? for fornication???

scully vs mulder time. “so what if they’re having sex?” he asks, which is funny coming from him; and anyway, he claims it happened BEFORE the alien stuff went down. but she thinks they’re traumatized, and that is more likely than alien abduction. 

until detective manners bursts in and claims he has an eyewitness to what went down! he used more blanks and bleeps and again the straight faces killllll me

and ALL OF THEM telling their stories start with “i know how crazy this all sounds” just as mr. chung had described LMAOOO. now who tf is this dude who says he was an eyewitness?

(i’m taking soooo many notes because i keep laughing and noting things. which is a good problem to have!)

this dude, named roky, spent 48 hours straight writing down what he saw, and said that by looking at this, they are putting their lives in danger. so okay. better be juicy.

he says his garage door opened up, a car pulled in, and a man told him some facts about venus. he says they put him in a trance! and that they were in all black……

mr. chung says that myths of men in black garments are nothing new!!! so take THAT, men in black legends, you are one of many.

back at roky's place, the other dude in black says jimmy carter thought he saw a UFO once, but it was just venus. roky is scandalized, grabs his paper, and states that he is a REPUBLICAN.

(omg jimmy carter is going to be 100 in a few months god willing…..)

this man in black is saying that roky saw VENUS and nothing else, just VENUS. and not to tell anyone he saw anything but VENUS or he will die. and then the car drives away. 

so after that build up, he gives mulder the manuscript, and says he is packing up and leaving. bye bye roky. hope you find some peace.

mulder is reading this story to scully who is sprawled on the bed, looking, again, angry and hot. it seems he is describing that earlier puppet-y action.

oh! roky was the electrical guy from the very beginning!!! he hides in his truck but the king kong looking fellow says “be not afraid” and that he is needed for the good of the earth? what is with the good of the earth here.

cutscene to a very baffled looking scully laying in bed as mulder continues to read LMAOOOOOO

AND ROKY’S STORY SAYS HE WENT NOT TO OUTER SPACE, BUT INNER SPACE HELPPP!!!! now, inner space is towards the core, if you, like me, were unaware. also, king kong godzilla dude’s name is Lord Kinbote, so jot that down.

mr. chung says he has a copy of roky’s manifesto- which was sent to his publisher? and LMAOOO the story is disturbing both for its soul orgy scenes and the fact that it is written as a screenplay 

well, surely your partner didn’t believe any of it, mr. chung states! “mulder’s had his share of peculiar notions” is scully's carefully worded reply... LMAOOO 

cutscene to her sitting up from the bed and calling him nuts <- LMAOOOOO but HE says that whatever roky saw may have triggered some delusions, and that the only story that doesn’t add up is chrissy’s, so he is calling to get her re-hypnotized, much to scully’s indignation!

so back to the hypnosis. and chrissy is now mirroring harold's story exactly. oh! she says the people who took them are from the air force?? so where did the gaga slay outfits go... 

the air force men are arguing in front of her. and then they say to “rinse her out”. saying it is for the good of her country. and stealing her memories!

so WHO is doing the real memory stealing here….. the aliens or the government?? an age old question!!! one that is at the heart of this series.

scully and mulder fight over what is going on, and he thinks that this might have nothing to do with aliens, until detective manners shows up with news that a crazy blankety blank claims to have an ALIEN BODY!!

(what if it’s a raccoon with mange…)

again, the man recounting this story begins with “i know how crazy this is going to sound”, but then says he wants to be abducted by aliens. well! i’m sure that’s a sexual thing i don’t care to unpack.

cutscene to mr. chung interviewing this same man, who wishes to go where finding a job is not a requirement. he was looking in a field for UFOs. and when he called the authorities upon spotting one, the agents show up!!

he says that scully was a man dressed as a woman but not pulling it off??? RUDE AS HELL! jail for 10,000 years. "HER HAIR WAS A LITTLE TOO RED, YOU KNOW?" LMAOOOOO and mulder was the “tall, lanky one” with a blank expression. well yeah that is an accurate depiction.

AND ACCORDING TO THIS GUY'S ACCOUNT, WHEN MULDER SEES THE BODY, HE SHRIEKS LIKE A STARTLED SQUIRREL I’M CRYINGGGG. so scully says to wrap this body up!

BUT THEN SHE GRABS HIM AND SAYS TO NEVER TELL ANYONE HE SAW THIS I’M CRYINGGGG... that had to be such a silly scene to film 

okay, seeing the part about subjective truths now. this is so funny... why is this loser making scully a hater in his version!!!

she’s PISSED to hear he claims she said this LMAOOO and that is ridiculous!! they even let him view the autopsy!!

so mulder takes this weirdo’s camera and records the autopsy?? scully cuts his brain open. and the tape ends up on late night television LMAOOOO

SCULLY IS SO EMBARRASSED THAT SHE IS ON THIS ALIEN HOAX AUTOPSY TAPE... I’M CRYING SOMEONE SAVE HER!!! and the host of whatever show they end upon is STUPENDOUS YAPPI FROM THE CLYDE BRUCKMAN EPISODE!!!! i'm howlingggg

she’s mad that whoever got the film edited out all the important scientific findings!!! like the two layers of skin!!!

wait. it’s a zipper. this is a dead guy in an alien suit. LMAOOOOOOOOO

the weird UFO cameraman kid is ill after realizing it was an ordinary dead guy, and scully looks deeply pained as he runs away to get sick LMAOOO

so: who is this dead guy? he was in the air force! and his name is robert. but who arrives but more people from the air force!! are they here to bury him?? or question the agents…

the folks from the air force want robert back, so she has to break the news that he is dead, and being kept for investigation into kidnapping. can they see him? scully is like yeah sure but mulder says no!!! but you CAN talk to the other AWOL guy we brought in. GASP!! a bluff!!! and it works!! from this they learn there is another missing guy!

LMAOOOO except it doesn’t go as smoothly as intended, and mulder is all “hmm he was here a few minutes ago… guess he’s still AWOL… anyway wanna see the body?” I’M CRYING THIS MANNNN IS SO RIDICULOUS 

but bad news: the body is gone. 

cameraman UFO guy is sitting on his floor watching the autopsy tape. when in bursts… the men in black from the earlier garage scene!!!! they knock him out. 

he claims mulder slapped him back to reality. and that he ALSO threatened him... me when i lie.

so mulder doesn’t have the tape. but when he drives home a fully naked man is walking about in the woods. it’s the other missing lieutenant, jack!! he is repeating “this is not happening” in the same voice as the alien as before!!!!! HUH WHAT IS GOING ON?

mulder takes jack to eat. he claims to have piloted the "UFO", and that all the abductions are military stuff, and at the base the abductees are messed with mentally, until they come out convinced they were probed by aliens. 

well okay, if its all the government, than what abducted YOU, jack? he isn’t sure about anything at all anymore, even if he exists. until who walks in... but the military!!

wait, mulder points out, it can’t all be fake- who was the third alien? jack seems to know him by name- lord kinbote. HUH?

and mr. chung heard a story about that same night from the cook at the restaurant! apparently mulder ordered sweet potato pie? huh, that’s interesting. and he kept ordering more and more pies with each question he asked the chef. LMAOOOO I just KNOW that scene was hard to film!!!! scenes where people eat always make me wonder how many times they had to have that damn bite of pie. 

but he claims there was no jack, nor any air force personnel at all. just a hungry mulder. again, so what is the truth...

mr. chung points out that scully doesn’t seem too phased to learn about all the contradictions in this story, and she says well no, not after what happened next. because when he got back to the motel, the men in black were in her room, going through her stuff! they claim she went to get some ice. he’s got 'em at gunpoint, screaming WHERE IS SHE!!! all protective, okay i see you. but she really did go to get some ice???

okay… man in black says that some alien encounters are engineered by the government and then exposed to discredit truth seekers. and mulder counters, well, people say the men in black also do purposefully strange things, so that anyone describing them sounds crazy! they proceed to… try and hypnotize him?

BUT IT’S ALEX TREBEK WHO IS DOING THE HYPNOTIZING???? LMAOOOOO HAS HE BEEN THE QUIET MAN IN BLACK THIS WHOLE TIME??

mr. chung is GAGGED, and wants to know if it WAS alex trebek, but sadly scully cannot confirm, for has no memory of this!! 

she woke up the next morning to mulder in her room….? and mr. chung is also gagged to hear this. me too tbh like did he just sleep on the couch? well we know that is how he sleeps at home so i guess i'm not shocked.

mulder’s trying to explain that she didn’t just "let him in" last night, but detective manners calls and says they found a bleeping UFO.

and what is it but…. a plane!! a secret plane!! and who are they carrying away on stretcher but the missing airmen, jack and robert???? SO HOW DID THEY DIE!

mr. chung puts his pen down, baffled, and scully points out that this story may not have a lot of closure, but it’s more than some of their other cases, which is funny because it is true. and she’s playing with her earrings and it’s so cute.

cutscene to mr. chung typing at his place. until a shadow approaches and he holds a tiny gun!!!! he is ready for a showdown but it’s… mulder at the door?

WAIT how does chung recognize him… did scully show him pictures i'm crying

mulder is in chung's apartment, asking him to not write the book, because it will do a disservice to a field that has always struggled to maintain credibility. we can’t understand these alternate realities yet!!! well. compelling argument... but mr. chung needs a paycheck. 

OH! and mulder suspects that the book is a “covert agenda” of the military industrial complex. always theories upon theories with this guy...

mr. chung says the book WILL be written, but he needs an explanation from mulder: what really happened to those kids on that night?

his answer: how the hell should i know?

(it was so perfect, i thought the episode would end right here)

mr. chung says he has deadlines, and mulder looks very sad, very previously neglected shelter dog rizz, and walks out. back to mr. chung’s furious typing. 

okay, so the cameraman now works for the electrical company roky worked for. because roky moved to california, preaching on purification and the inner earth and core enlightenment. right right right makes sense.

cutscene to scully reading the finished book by mr. chung!!! she is fictionalized as “diane” who is “noble of spirit and pure of heart” but “nevertheless a federal employee” LMAOOOO

and mulder is “renard muldrake” LMAOOOOO that is such a funny name... he's watching something in bed shirtless as his fictionalized self is being described- “a ticking time bomb of insanity” AND HE’S WATCHING THE BIGFOOT TAPES BAHAHAHAHA

chrissy now is an environmental advocate and harold still loves her but it isn’t required. aww harold :(

mr. chung ends by saying that we are not alone in this universe, but in our own way, we are all alone.

NEW BEST EPISODE CONTENDER???

this feels like one of those posts where people make up a bunch of information and then it all gets proven wrong so it is described as a "net zero information gain" bahaha

but don't get me wrong, i don't fully understand what happened, but i loved it. i was laughing, i was enjoying seeing the subjectivity of one story to the next, i was enjoying scully and chung time, and despite all the silly, we still got clues on the whole "is it aliens or the government" thing. and sure, maybe it doesn't make immediate sense, but you have to ponder these matters to learn what is at their heart!

so what DID we learn? well, some alien cases might be the government! but i guess that is still a "might", so maybe we can't truthfully say we LEARNED it. we learned that scully is a big fan of mr. chung!!! we learned that mulder is fiercely protective of his line of work from all his years of being ridiculed! and that he watches the famous bigfoot tape for fun and also maybe like sweet potato pie? it was unconfirmed.

i really enjoyed the playing with perspective, seeing how one character saw things, and then another. and seeing mulder and scully threaten that dweeb was so funny because it was so out of character and had to be silly to shoot.

and i thought it was impressive how it managed to tie back to the big alien and government mystery while still making me laugh so hard. how many past episodes can be analyzed through the lens of certain things being faked for exposure? and what REALLY happened to those airmen? we still don't know if mulder's convo with jack even happened! and we never will!

i came to appreciate the company of mr. chung immensely, even though i thought he was gonna be creepy after calling scully beautiful and touching her arm, but i suppose that he was just a genuinely sweet fellow. you can't blame me for being suspicious after some of the things she gets put through, but i'm sure that if i picked one of his books off the shelf, i, like scully, would be a fan.

overall, i am deeply pleased, and would love to give this a rewatch sometime when i am not taking notes so i could appreciate the pacing in more detail. man, season 3 has really been killing it, huh? and i'm nearing the end!!

[darkesttimelinestuff]

Fictober Day 4

Prompt #12 - “did you hear that?” "

Camping in October on Martha’s Vineyard is a crapshoot. Foliage is guaranteed, but the chance that the weather will turn is a gamble. 

And Fox Mulder is gambling man. He opted for a cabin, rather than a tent under the stars. They had spent the day hiking, and even found what Mulder dubbed now as their “makeout spot.” It had been a perfect fall day. The sun began to set and temperatures dipped, so they had made their way back to the cozy one-room cabin to continue their makeout session. 

*****

Back at the cabin, Mulder says, “It’s freezing.” 

“Oh, it’s not that bad,” Scully says, but doesn’t look up from her book. 

Mulder shudders, says, “I’m getting flashbacks to Antarctica.”

Scully is not sure how to respond. They rarely talk about Antarctica, because really, what is there to say? “Thanks for saving my life” feels trivial. Completely inadequate. And it’s all wrapped up in declarations of passion, the closing of the X-Files, and the ghost of a woman who almost tore them apart. A sore subject best left in the past. 

Instead, she says, “Oh, stop it,” and swats at his legs, perched on her lap. 

Outside the wind howls, slapping leaves against the living room window. It was an autumnal swirl all afternoon, that descended into a spooky scene with the setting sun. 

Scully reaches behind her, grabs the blanket, and spreads it over Mulder. “It’s these old, drafty windows,” she says, and resumes reading her book.

Mulder’s eyes drift closed and after a few minutes, she adds, “I think it’s actually kind of peaceful.”

Mulder cracks open one eye. “Peaceful?” 

“Well, we spent so much time in the city,” she explains. “Even on our cases, in seedy motels, there’s usually more… noise pollution that I’d like.”

“Are you still mad about that time I book us the by-hour motel? Because I told you that was an accident and -” but he stops and cocks his head. Listens. “Did you hear that?” he says, urgently.

Scully remains very still and listens. “It’s just the wind,” she says. 

“No, I heard something,” insists Mulder. “It sounded like screaming.

Scully continues to listen for a minute and after a minute shakes her head. 

Resigned, Mulder sighs and closes his eyes again, his breathing slowing. Scully picks up her book and marvels at how relaxed he’s been. 

After a few minutes the unmistakable sound of a woman’s scream tears through the night. Scully shoots to her feet, dropping the book. Similarly, Mulder tumbles to the floor, face down, panting heavily. 

He lets out a pained groan.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Scully says, bending to help him up. 

“Do you believe me now?” Mulder asks, rising to his feet.

“That definitely sounded like screaming,” Scully agrees. 

“I told you,” he says, bending to meet her at her level. “This isn’t something I’d make up.”

“You’re right. But we need to figure this out now. Someone is clearly in trouble.”

“Way ahead of you,” Mulder says, already tucking his weapon into his jeans, heading for the door. 

“Right behind you,” Scully says, grabbing her piece.

The full moon provides some light. Scully’s stomach is in knots, heart thumping hard. Dread sets in that this could be turning into a case of swamp monster or night fairies, when all she wants was a quiet weekend with Mulder. 

Their feet crunch twenty feet into the woods and they stand back-to-back, waiting. Listening. Another shrill cry echoes from behind their cabin and they head in that direction. 

“Just one quiet getaway…” Scully mutters, more annoyed than scared. 

“What was that?” Mulder asks.

“Nothing,” she relents, and they continue inching toward the back of the cabin, weapons at the ready.

In the back they stop at a rustling in the bushes. It’s darker here, the canopy blocking most of the moonlight. Mulder places a hand on Scully’s arm, stopping her in her tracks. He takes a step in front of her. “Be ready,” he whispers.

Another scream and something tumbles out of the bushes, a tangle of fur and limbs snarling. One creature rips away, yelping in pain, the other runs into the cover of night. Mulder’s arms fall to his sides. “It’s a… a…” he pants, “a…”

“It’s a fox,” Scully deadpans, lowering her gun. “How appropriate, Fox.”

The animal limps, calling behind it one last time, and scurries off into the woods. 

“Who knew a fox could sound like a woman screaming in pain,” Mulder says, sheepishly.

“Mulder, have you never been camping before?” Scully asks. 

“Uh I must have missed those Scout meetings.” And he gives her a toothy grin.

“Next time I’ll take you to camp among the Redwoods where there have been Bigfoot sightings,” Scully smirks.

“Scully, you know the way to my heart,” Mulder says, clutching his heart.

[whumpdoyoumean]

Whumptober #1

A/N: Wow! Hard to believe we're already back to October, it feels like Whumptober 2023 was just a few months ago. This piece is a little shorter and less complete than a lot of my fills have been in the past, which is something you might see more of this month. I'm really wanting to avoid burnout this year, and am also trying to break through some of my perfection paralysis. So that means writing what I can and not being too hard on myself! (:

xxx search party

When trying to enlist the aid of local authorities, it's always a toss-up whether they're going to help willingly or circle their wagons. In small towns like this one, it tends to be the latter. More often than not, they see federal agents as nothing more than government lackeys, over-reaching and meddling in things they couldn't possibly understand. So Scully was a little surprised that Sheriff Walters readily agreed to form a search party to comb the hilly woods at the edge of town.

Perhaps she shouldn't be, though, considering one of his deputies is the reason they don't know where in the hundred acres of forest Mulder is.

He was doing his job, Scully reminds herself. The young officer had just been following his training; she can hardly blame him for that.

Her mind flashes back to that scene, hours ago now though it somehow feels like it's only been a few minutes and also an eternity.

"Where is Agent Mulder?" Her voice, raised to a raw shout as she stands with her weapon raised, hoping that she won't have to use it because doing so could mean losing him. Losing Mulder.

"Agent Scully?" The young deputy, calling out to her as he enters the house. She ignores him.

"Tell me where he is!"

The man, appearing to lose some of his resolve. Looking like he might actually relent.

"Okay. But I have something for you first."

The deputy, rounding the corner just as the man is reaching for something behind his back.

"Freeze!"

And the man. The man just keeps reaching, and Scully turns to the deputy with wide, desperate eyes, but by the time she yells, "Don't!" his finger is already tightening on the trigger. A crack. Blood blooming across the man's chest, and even as she rushes forward and puts her hands over the wound to try and stop the bleeding, to try and get an answer out of him, she knows it won't do any good. The deputy was a damn good shot.

"Agent Scully?"

Scully startles, pulled from the memory, and looks up at the sheriff. "Yes?"

"I was just saying that we've been at it several hours now with no luck and, well. Maybe we should wrap this up for now, get some rest, then make a plan and come back at it--"

"We keep looking," Scully interrupts. "It's already getting cold out here and the temperature is only going to keep dropping. Mulder isn't dressed for the weather. If we wait, it could be too late. We keep looking."

Sheriff Walters's face pinches into a slightly pained-looking expression, but he just nods. "Yes, ma'am."

She hates this. She hates how Mulder always seems to find danger, or else it finds him. She hates the seething anger that simmers no matter how much she tells herself the deputy didn't have a choice. She hates how scared she is, and more than anything else she hates the doubt that sits heavily at the back of her mind.

The sound of distant shouts makes her heart rate spike, and she looks up sharply, hope and fear mingling as she starts moving toward the noise.

"What's going on?" she asks an officer as she gets closer.

"I'm not sure, exactly, but I think one of the dogs found something. Could be--"

Scully doesn't let him finish before she's breaking into a sprint, crashing through the undergrowth. There are several officers crowded in one spot. Heads turn as Scully approaches, and the officers part to let her through.

Her heart sinks.

"Oh, god, Mulder."

He's lying at the base of a large tree, bound at the wrists and ankles, his arms behind his back. There's dirt and blood on his too-pale face. Scully is on her knees in a second, two fingers pressed to his neck. His skin is cool to the touch, and his pulse, when she finds it, is fast. But he's alive. He's alive.

"Somebody come get these ropes off of him," she commands. Nobody moves, and she turns. "Come on!" Then, quieter, "It's okay, Mulder. I'm here. Everything's gonna be okay."

xxx

[all-eyes-lead-to-the-truth]

All Eyes Lead to the Truth | Quagmire (3x22)

She was leaving him, just like his last mommy.

There was a ringing noise followed by all the lights turning on as she ran around their home. His heart started pounding in his chest as she began grabbing all the stuff that she’d marked with her scent: her clothes, the brush with her fur, and even her shoes! What was he supposed to chew on now?!

“Don’t go!” he pled, trying to get her attention by walking in between her feet.

“Queequeg, no barking,” she chastised softly.

With a whine, he stepped back, bowing his head to the floor. He didn’t like being alone. He didn’t know what he’d done wrong. He never saw Mrs. Lowe again after he hurt her, but he’d been trying so hard to be a good boy for Scully.

He was just about to start begging again when she took his favorite toy and put it in the bag next to her favorite toy, perking him up immediately. “We’re going to go for a ride in the car, Queequeg,” she explained.

“Car!” he exclaimed, standing up so he could put his paws on her legs.

“Yep,” she nodded. “My friend Mulder is going to come get us. Remember him?”

His tail began to wag harder, almost knocking him off balance from the force. He loved Mulder! When Mulder came to visit or when he called, Scully was always so happy. If she had a tail, he knew it would be wagging too.

Mulder wouldn’t pet him if Scully was watching. He must be shy. When he was alone, Mulder would scratch his ears and rub his tummy and say how lucky Queequeg was. He was lucky! She always let him sit by her, even if she was in bed, and she always pet him and kissed him. Queequeg was loved.

* * *

“Scully… Do you really think bringing him is a good idea?” Mulder asked.

“Don’t start, Mulder,” she replied, using the same tone she used when something was in his mouth that shouldn’t have been. The command had a similar effect on Mulder as he raised his hands in surrender.

“I’ll be good!” Queequeg told him while pacing excitedly at Mulder’s feet. Scully sighed and walked back towards her room, leaving them alone at the front door.

“At least one of you is happy to see me,” Mulder grumbled, leaning down to scratch behind Queequeg’s ears.

If Scully was his mom, did that mean Mulder was his dad? Queequeg never had a dad before. When he was called Scout, Mrs. Lowe never had a Mulder. She had Bald Guy, but Bald Guy didn’t look at her like Mulder looked at Scully. Mulder looked at her like he wanted to sit in her lap and lick her face, and sometimes Scully looked at him the same way. It was weird they didn’t just groom each other.

* * *

Wow! This was the best day of Queequeg’s life! He got to spend all day with his favorite people. During his walk with Scully, he even found the thing Mulder had been whining about!

All day, he kept talking about “Big Blue.” Luckily for him, blue was one of the only colors Queequeg could see. And see he did. Right when he was about to take a poo, he noticed a big, blue animal crouching in the woods.

“Look! It’s Big Blue!” he yelled, lurching forward while ignoring the leash tugging on his neck.

“Come on, Queequeg,” she replied. 

She wasn’t taking him seriously, so he tried again. “It’s Mulder’s friend!”

“Queequeg, we're not going to go into the woods. Come on, do your business. I thought you had to go.” 

He kept pulling on the leash, begging her to come with him. Mulder would be so proud of him! “Queequeg! What is it?” she exclaimed, reluctantly following him.

She must’ve been scared, but she shouldn’t be. He was here to protect her. Big Blue bared his teeth at the pair, and Queequeg felt his tail stand straight up. With a surge of anger, he rushed towards the creature, breaking free of his leash. “Don’t look at her like that!” Queequeg yelled.

He heard her yelling at him, but Queequeg was on a mission. He had to defend his family.

* * *

He didn’t know when the man in the black robe picked him up, but he was relieved. For a second there, Queequeg thought he was about to be eaten! It’s amazing how much bigger the creature looked up close.

“Where am I?” he barked, looking around.

“Home,” the man said, his face obscured by the clothes he was wearing.

Queequeg whimpered and bowed his head in shame. He knew Scully didn’t like him wandering away from her. He’d scared her, and now he didn’t know how to find her again. She was going to be so mad at him.

“Scully thinks you’re a good boy,” the man in black said. Queequeg felt his heart thump excitedly in his chest. “You were always such a good boy.”

The man set him down, but when Queequeg tried to follow him, he tsked, adjusting his grip on the large scythe he was holding. “There’s someone here who’s been wanting to see you.”

Queequeg cocked his head to the side before he caught a whiff of a familiar scent. Then, a voice from far behind him called out his name, “Scout!”

His old Mom!! His legs couldn’t run fast enough, he kept tripping over his feet from the force of his tail wagging so hard.

“I missed you so much,” Mrs. Lowe beamed, holding him close to her chest while he licked the water off her face. “I’m so sorry I left you alone.”

He knows he did much worse to her, but he can tell by the way she’s kissing him that she forgives him. Maybe she hadn’t wanted to leave him after all. 

This really was the best day of his life.

Read the rest of All Eyes Lead to the Truth on Ao3

@gaycrouton

[muldermuse]

Haunted House (Fox Mulder X Reader)

Welcome to the Muldermuse October spooky writing thing!!!!!!!!

I posted a drabble earlier and here is something slightly longer. Hope u enjoy <3333

You know someone is home; the lights are on, the muppets is blaring on the TV and there are toys littered across the hallway. Dinner was halfway cooked and left simmering on the hob, there was a glass of wine poured for you, yet there was no one around.

Usually, when you returned home from work you were greeted by the stomping running feet of your 3 year old daughter with Fox shouting hello from whichever room of the house he was in. Tonight, the house looked lived in but with no sight of your small family.

“Hellooo, anyone home?” You shout as you kick off your shoes and shrug your jacket off your shoulders. By looking at the carnage in the living room, it looked like Fox and May had had a busy Friday. Barbies were sat up on the couch with colour blocks and crayons covering the floor. Blankets and pillows were displaced and it looked like Fox had attempted to make a fort, which you imagine your daughter was either completely uninterested in or destroyed in 30 seconds with a huge grin on her face.

You hear a giggle and running feet upstairs, it’s quick and you can hear Fox shushing as the movement stops. You can hear hushed voices as what you assume is your bedroom door creaks closed. You slowly head up the stairs, trying to listen out for any further noise.

“May? Fox? Is anyone home? I think I can hear a ghost” You call as you inch further up the stairs. You can hear your daughter’s muffled giggle as you make it to the top floor of your home. The only light to illuminate the upstairs is a lamp and the longer you stare at it; the darker everything seems to be.

You can imagine how excited your daughter is, your mischievous girl is probably thrilled at the prospect of terrifying her mom after a long day at work. Her and Fox had most likely planned this escapade earlier in the day with both of them counting down the hours until they could scare you. To be honest, you’re actually incredibly impressed at how quiet she’s being so you decide it’s time for the big scare.

You walk over to the master bedroom and exclaim, “I hope the house isn’t haunted!”. As you put your hand on the doorknob, a small figure wearing a white bed sheet runs out shouting BOO. You reach down to pick your daughter up and spin her around as she breaks into a fit of giggles.

“Ghost!” She exclaims as you pepper her sheet covered face with kisses. Fox is leaning against the doorframe with a huge smirk on his face. Fatherhood suits him more than you ever expected. He isn’t as clean cut as when you first got together. He has more stubble, his hair is mostly a mess and his wire rimmed glasses always sit at the bridge of his nose. “I think we scared Mom, May”.

You place your daughter back on the ground as she looks up at you through the cut out holes in her white bedsheet. Her eyes are identical to her fathers and you think about how every day she looks more like Fox. “Scary, right Mom?” She says as she wraps her ghostly arms around your legs. 

“Super scary” you reply as Fox winks at you as he places a kiss to your forehead. 

“Welcome home to your haunted house, baby"

[randomfoggytiger]

How the Ghosts Stole Christmas In-Depth (Part II): Ouroboros and Mulder Pranks

Part 2 is here-- let's go!

Scully is not going to be swayed from getting her car keys back. “C’mon, Mulder, don’t kid around.” 

Mulder buys time by shifting away from a direct answer: “Why would I take your car keys?”

“Maybe you, uh…” She pauses, taking in the creepy, abandoned house, “maybe you grabbed them by mistake.”   

“Maybe it was a ghost,” Mulder suggests, pumping his eyebrows up and down for dramatic emphasis. 

Scully is not amused; but an eerie thumping upstairs and a loud gong from the hallway clocks startles them out of their quiet observations, wringing a shaken sigh from Scully and a wide-eyed expression of alert from Mulder. 

“Cold wind,” he notes. 

“Then there must a window open upstairs,” Scully reasons. She continues to rattle off other reasons or variables, dampening the magic of the experience for Mulder (who looks appropriately disapproving of her logic, mildly scowling before rolling his eyes.) 

A flash of lightning strikes; and a gust of wind-- unlikely-- pulls the door firmly closed, locking both agents inside; and, to Scully’s horror, it refuses to budge no matter how much she pulls at it. This is no longer a matter of “get home for Christmas”: it has become “escape whatever this is without admitting her fear of ghosts and hopefully with her life” scenario. 

Mulder helpfully adds: “I think the spirits are among us.” 

His partner is fed up: “Mulder, will you quit trying to scare me and help me get these doors open?” 

He, in fact, will not, preferring to stare off into space-- or, more appropriately, up where the thumping originated. “Sounds like there’s somebody walking around upstairs.”  

Scully knows she’s lost him, giving him the biggest sigh known to mankind. 

“THERE, you hear that?” her victorious partner crows, a little too delighted that something from the undead has proven him right. 

No more games.

“Mulder, I really have to go.” 

“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” Mulder deflects, teasing her even as he steps away and draws her farther into the house. 

Quickly-- too quickly-- Scully jumps in with denial: “I’m not afraid, okay?” 

“Ghosts are benevolent entities--” he’s cut off by more thumping, amusedly adding-- “mostly.” 

This is affecting Scully more than she wants (demonstrated by a blink and quick intake of air), so she quickly fills in the quiet: “You are not scaring me, Mulder.” Though when she briefly checks her watch-- a little after 11 PM-- and realizes it’s in perfect time with the hall clock (which is ticking away like brand new), she is further unsettled. “Look-- I really have to get home.”  

Another lightning flash… but this time its accompanied by the outline of a spirit, one which Scully only gets a glimpse of out of the corner of her eye. As a rational woman of science, however, she dismisses this outright and decides to rain on her partner’s parade.

Tromping to the base of the stairs, she attempts to reason him down; but the fire of the chase is alight in his eyes, and he decides to throw shushing noises at her (waving his finger in her direction) instead of following thickly laden hints.

“These are tricks that the mind plays--” Scully comments, knowing that she’s unlikely to change Mulder’s whims but wanting to get her points across regardless. She gives up, digging out her flashlight and climbing the stairs after him. 

Here we have the classic Mulder-Scully dynamic: Mulder deflects or ignores what he doesn’t want to deal with directly, distracting her from a goal by running off into the dark so that she has to give chase. Scully denies what she wants up front-- driving out to Mulder on Christmas Eve, hoping to wheedle him away from his stakeout, perhaps; then denying what she fears while denying what she sees-- until all her reasons have been disproven or stripped away and she's left with uncomfortable honesty. The dynamic isn't the flaw; but there is a stalemate that they both reach that hasn't yet been ironed out (but will be addressed in Field Trip.)  

This next speech of Scully’s is so incredibly important it’s getting an in-depth analysis of its own, tying together the threads of Scully in relation to Mulder: his stagnation and her frustration with it, as well as her deep understanding of what he really says and what makes him tick. As yet, she tries to bridge that gap in vain.

“I mean, the whole– Mulder” she calls when he gets too far ahead, signaling Mulder to wait up “–the whole idea of a benevolent entity fits perfectly with what I’m saying: that, I mean, um, that a spirit would materialize or return for no other purpose than to show itself is silly and ridiculous.” (Just as aliens are ridiculous?)  “I mean, what it really shows is how silly and ridiculous we have become believing such things.” (“Mulder, you’re crazy.”) 

Mulder flashes his light at Scully briefly as if to say “well, you’re here, too” before going back to his thorough search of the upstairs hallway. She may be sermonizing a little, but she’s there; and the more she talks her nerves away, the more Scully relaxes into her monologue. She’s found a way to say something important, and she’s using this opportunity as best she can.  

And it’s here where Scully, again, touches on her continual talking points of S6 (“settle down… something approaching a normal life”, “life on this planet”, etc.), harkening back to her itchy feelings in Never Again when she contrasted her zest for growth and forward movement to Mulder’s stagnation and single-minded ways (that circular snake eating his tail to death and decay, post by @suitablyaggrieved here): “I mean, that-that we can ignore all natural laws about the corporeal body, that-that we witness these spirits clad in their own shabby outfits with the… same old haircuts and hairstyles, never aging, never…never in search of more comfortable surroundings. It actually ends up saying more about the living than about the dead.” 

Scully is a creature of comfort; but she and Mulder approach it very differently. She surrounds herself with manicured nails, quality heels, silk pajamas, and spa bath experiences. Mulder buries himself in dust and death, avoiding what Scully celebrates about life by “walking into his sister’s room” every day of his life. 

Scully has been softening her tone during this speech; but when Mulder merely makes a “Mhm” noise to notate he’s somewhat listening, she doubles down in earnest: “I mean, Mulder, it doesn’t take an advanced degree in psychology to understand the, the unconscious yearnings that imaginings satisfy.”  

Crucially (and I can’t understate this enough), Scully lays out what she believes Mulder is trying to tell her here (just as she understood his baseball lesson in The Unnatural) as they both pause in the haunted hallway (it’s always in hallways, isn’t it?): “Y’know, the, the longing for immortality, the hope that there is something beyond this mortal coil– that, that we might never be long without our loved ones– I mean these are powerful” she pauses to further soften her voice “powerful desires.”

Mulder pauses his wanderings, showing his attention with stillness rather than any overt reaction.

“I mean,” she says, “they’re the very essence of what makes us human.“  

It’s also interesting that Scully is proving how at peace she is (mostly) with the tragedies in her life: her father, sister, and daughter are dead, because she believes in the gift of immortality through life after death (it’s not until Tithonus shows her what a curse that can be, too.) Unfortunately, while she may have laid her ghosts to rest, Mulder has not; and they are still tearing at his mind (as demonstrated before in Demons.)

Mulder nods along, taking in what Scully is saying but not understanding it. Just as he doesn’t get her “what about your family” in Home, her “endless line” in Never Again, her “normal life” in Dreamland I, and her “life on this planet” in The Unnatural. 

Mulder is Scully’s ouroboros, constantly pursuing one path and consuming himself (and her) in his quest. “There are other fathers,” she told Ed Jerse; but what she meant– or didn’t realize she meant– was that there will always be her Ahab: relentless in his career while living, only realizing what he’s sacrificed– love, family, the little things– once he’s dead. “You know, you are Ahab,” Scully said to Mulder in Quagmire; and she was right. (Shoutout to @waiting-for-the-day for her assessment that Scully is self-aware of her own narrative.) He’s still on that rock, in the basement, in his childhood memories; and his pursuit of "the truth” leads him perpetually away from it.

“The very essence of Christmas, actually,” Scully brings it all around, deadpan, enjoying Mulder’s delighted smirk in response. 

Before he can give a rejoinder, a door springs open-- one that both of them know Mulder had checked while doing his rounds. 

“Tell me you’re not afraid,” Mulder questions, his own fear making his voice gentle. This gentleness brings out an honest “Alright, I’m afraid,” from his partner; but she breezes past these fears (and his little head nod in the background) with a firm “But it’s an irrational fear.”

Scully merely gets a “suuuuure” nod in response; and decides to shake off their combined concerns with proof. She takes one last look around, swallows down her quakes, and marches boldly forward to investigate the door. 

It seems we’ve found one supernatural entity that Mulder is less than eager to rush headlong at; because he, for once, is the one shaking in his boots. His “I got your back” has to be coughed out around the boulder lodged in his throat; but it earns a heartfelt “Thank you” from Scully. She squints back in his direction not out of frustration as is easy to assume; but simply because this is the third time her partner has inadvertently pointed his flashlight directly into her eyes. All three times she didn’t flinch or scold, which proves she’s used to Mulder’s deadly flashlight wielding. 

Mouth half-open-- a classic midway between excessive breathing and talking for a mildly panicked Mulder (not yet achieving The Panic Face ™)-- he waits for his partner to poke the door open, the suspense killing him but not enough to trot over there, too. 

“Mulder, did it occur to you that there aren’t ghosts here but that somebody might actually be living in this house?” Scully asks, measuredly. 

“No one lives here.”

“But when you and I were sitting out in the car there was not a light on.” She pauses. “And look at this.” 

Mulder takes an obvious pause, an obvious step back, then a couple slow steps forward. Scully lets him open the door as if there were a nefarious villain just on the other side, following him in with an unimpressed stare. 

Scully's impatience is at its peak while Mulder starts grappling with more scientific reasons (read: excuses)-- “Must have been some kind of electrical surge…”-- fidgeting her flashlight and bopping from one foot to another. But she is longsuffering if nothing else, slowly enlightening her leaps-and-bounds partner: “Mulder, did you happen to notice the clock downstairs is keeping perfect time?” 

Still, he is having much too much fun, responding “Is it?” with the voice of a man not bothered enough that he be wrong because he’s still convinced he’s right. More specifically: it’s the voice of a man impressed that there’s proof fastidious ghosts exist, not that their existence has been debunked. 

“And how do you explain that?” Scully asks, pointing out the lit fireplace. 

Mulder goes down the stairs like a cryptid: Check One. 

“Well, the fire’s just gone out,” Scully allows, correct in her details to the last. 

The fireplace is proof enough to poor old Mulder, his disappointment so obvious that she tries to give him a semblance of comfort. “Don’t look so disappointed.”

Mulder, miffed, gets up and starts disparaging the homeowners. “Why would anyone want to live in a cursed house?” 

“Mulder, it’s not enough that’s haunted? It has to be cursed?” 

A little of his animation returns as her partner only now tells Scully the details of the house, hopeful to the last that there’s at least some little bit of mystery still to be explored: “Every couple that’s ever lived here has met a tragic end. Three double murders in the last eighty years--” he leans in closer (only for storytelling purposes, of course) “--all on Christmas Eve.” 

The lights surge once more-- as if there were someone with a touch for timing listening to Mulder’s words and flicking the switch to emphasize his points; and the doors follow suit, banging shut noisily and locking the pair up in the middle of the house.

Mulder is genuinely terrified, huffing out a “Woooooh” and edging noticeably closer to Scully. She, meanwhile, stands aghast-- initially because of ghosts but secondarily (and more strongly) at yet another blockade separating her from her car. 

“There’s that sound again,” Mulder stresses, on alert. 

As usual, while he’s looking at the sky (ceiling), Scully is looking at the ground (floorboards.) She notices the banging under the floor first, jerking her partner’s arm in silence-- the universal sign of an overwhelmed, fearful Scully: her brain has stopped firing explanations.  

Mulder assesses the situation and deduces the knocking is a sign of distress, whipping around to shove the furniture away. 

His second wind has arrived on the tail of Scully’s courage; and she is whipping around to yank the nearest doorknob and try to pull the door open, her panic creating useless adrenaline that accomplishes nothing.  

Mulder stops jumping on the boards when the thumping quits, kneeling down and listening for this house’s version of a heartbeat. While he freezes in assessment, Scully continues her flight around the room; and she discovers more things that are awry-- namely, that the ladder they took down has vanished into thin air. 

And because he's not caused enough trouble for his partner, Mulder decides this is the perfect time to prank his partner, poising the flashlight under his chin and waiting for Scully to turn around.

Face to face with some sort of illuminated abomination, she gives a full-bodied, terrified scream unlike any she’s yelled before; and it’s so loud and unexpected that it terrifies Mulder, too. He also yells, jumps back, and puts up a defensive hand knowing his partner might come back swinging. 

Scully, furious in the face of his satisfied laughter, does reflexively raise her hands; but it's an aborted attempt to protect her head and face. Mulder reaches out to grasp one of them in delighted apology; but he misses and decides to rest his hand on her chest instead (having missed her shoulder also), still giving her the smuggest big brother “ha, ha scared you!” grin and chortle before sweeping it all under the rug (puns) with a quick “I think there’s a hiding space under the floorboards.” 

Scully, successfully redirected, questions her partner’s next move with exasperation. When she realizes her partner wants to dig up the floorboards, she panics-- “Mulder, don’t! Not now!”-- reaching out to stop him. 

“Hey!” he cuts in, seeing that she really is shaken up. Mulder pulls out his protective measures from Darkness Falls, yelling to get Scully's attention before sympathetically talking her down. "You have a gun, right?”

(An interesting note: that's the same reason Philip Padgett gives Scully when he lures her into his apartment in Milagro.)

When Scully barely acknowledges this point with a sigh, he quips, “Rationally, you’ve been in much more dangerous situations.”

Dana Scully cannot handle jokes in scary situations, angry at his impetuosity and embarrassed at her loss of control. 

Still, she regains ground (looking very like herself after the death of her father in the first pic), standing guard-- at a distance-- while Mulder digs up the floor. 

When the first body is revealed, both scowl in surprise. 

“Well, I was half-right,” he ponders, scrunching up his face at the grisly sight (and possibly at the smell.) 

After sticking his bare hand out to touch the corpse (as usual), Mulder notices the second body; and he frees up the other board to see them both properly. 

“It’s a woman. Mulder, it looks like they were shot to death.” 

“Yeah.”

It’s Scully that notices that the dead woman is wearing her clothes. “You know what’s weird?”

“What?”

She grips his arm. “Mulder, she’s wearing my outfit.” 

To Mulder, this is hilarious: leave it to Scully to focus on the most mundane and immaterial (to him) of details. He appreciates the humor of it, and the reprieve from his own dark ruminations. Huffing out a laugh, he adds a breathy, teasing, “How embarrassing.” 

“Yeah, well, you know what? He’s wearing yours,” Scully adds, bringing her point home. 

“Oh, Scully…”

“That’s us.” 

That does it for Mulder. His curiosity has led him this far; but he’s not so blind that he’ll ignore obvious red flags and blaring warning signs. This place may not have ghosts (opinion pending) but it is cursed; and this curse is blatantly telling him and Scully that they’re next for whatever is coming. He launches backward; then jumps to his feet and takes off after his partner.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[xxsksxxx]

Shadows and Light

Summary:

Mulder and Scully arrive in a small rural town to look into a ghost sighting.

Their journey takes them to an eerie, abandoned cabin in the middle of the forest.

As they delve deeper into the mysteries of the cabin and the strange noises they hear, they find themselves confronting their own beliefs and fears.

Notes:

As a long-time reader of X-Files fanfic, I have always greatly enjoyed the captivating stories that the many, many talented writers in this fandom have written about our favorite agents.

Writing fanfic is a journey I never thought I’d take. I’m both excited and scared. But here goes nothing, so here’s my very first fanfic.

I hope reading it will give you at least a fraction of the joy I had writing it.

AO3 | @today-in-fic

Chapter 1: The Abandoned Cabin

The sun hangs low in the late afternoon sky, casting long shadows through the dense canopy of trees. A gentle breeze rustles the leaves, sending a shiver down Mulder's spine. He tightens the collar of his coat, glancing at Scully, who stands beside him, her expression focused and determined.

The abandoned cabin looms before them, its weathered walls and broken windows giving it an ominous appearance.

They'd arrived in the rural town earlier in the day after receiving reports of a ghost sighting from a hiker. He'd been walking cross-country and spent the night close to an old cabin in the woods. And that's where he met the ghost, scaring him so much, he'd packed up and gone running back to town. The local people hadn’t been happy to see the FBI arriving in town, asking questions about ghosts. After Mulder had to pointedly show his badge a few times, a woman at the local diner had finally tipped them off that there had been rumors about a ghost in the woods for as long as she could remember. She had given them directions to the old abandoned cabin in the woods and sent them off.

“Do you think there's anything to this ghost story, Mulder?” Scully asks, her voice steady.

Mulder tilts his head, considering her question. “It's hard to say, Scully. People's beliefs and fears can often manifest into something they can't explain. But we won't know for sure until we investigate.”

Scully nods. The prospect of confronting a ghost adds another layer of intrigue to their already interesting case history. She fleetingly thinks about how Skinner will react to their case report later.

As they approach the cabin, the breaking of little branches on the old path beneath their feet echoes in the stillness of the late afternoon. The air is crisp and carries the scent of damp wood and earth. The cabin seems to stand frozen in time, a relic of a past waiting to reveal its secrets.

A sense of mystery and anticipation grips them both as they exchange glances. Mulder's eyes gleam with the excitement of the unknown, while Scully's analytical mind is already processing the details of their surroundings.

They step closer to the cabin, their flashlights cutting through the fading daylight. The beam of light reveals a broken down wooden door of a long forgotten, abandoned place.

“Mulder, be careful. This place looks like it's ready to collapse at any moment,” Scully warns.

Mulder smirks, giving her a playful wink. “Don't worry, Scully. And if any aberrations want to grace us with their existence, I'll make sure to not ask any dangerous questions.”

Scully rolls her eyes, but the hint of a smile lies on her lips. She knows about Mulder's habit to lighten the mood with humor.

Chapter 2: Echoes of the Past

As they step into the dimly lit cabin, Scully's heart skips a beat. An eerie hush envelops the place, and she can't help but shiver despite the layers she's wearing. Mulder, always curious, strides forward, his eyes scanning the barren space with an intensity that matches the determination in his voice earlier.

They're surrounded by the remnants of a life left behind—a broken chair, an old rug, and dust-covered books strewn across the floor. Scully carefully scans the room, her keen eye looking for any evidence that might shed light on their case. The surrounding silence seems to intensify, as if the cabin itself is holding its breath, waiting to reveal its long-buried secrets in the waning light of the late afternoon.

“Looks like someone's been here recently,” Mulder remarks, his eyes fixated on the old mattress lying in one corner. Scully follows his gaze and nods thoughtfully.

“It seems like they sought refuge here,” Scully observes, her voice loud in the silent room. The blanket draped over the mattress is faded and worn, but someone had taken shelter under it, seeking solace from what she can only imagine.

Mulder's gaze falls upon the flashlight resting on a dusty shelf. His fingers graze over its surface, and he raises an eyebrow as he examines it closely. “This flashlight looks newer than everything else in here,” he points out, a hint of intrigue coloring his words.

Scully slowly walks around, the old floorboards creaking beneath her feet. Her eyes dart around the cabin, taking in the sparse belongings and the book on mythical creatures lying open on a small table. It's a curious mix of objects.

They continue their search, their movements cautious yet purposeful. As they search through the dusty shelves and worn objects, a faint sound resonates through the air, like the soft rustling of leaves in the wind. Scully's senses go on immediate alert, and she exchanges a puzzled glance with Mulder. It's a strange noise, one that isn't immediately explainable.

“Do you hear that?” Scully asks, her voice hushed, as if afraid the sound might vanish if she speaks too loudly.

Mulder's brow furrows in concentration as he listens intently. “Yeah, I do,” he replies, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

The cabin's walls seem to absorb the sound, making it challenging to pinpoint. They both take cautious steps, trying to follow the faint echo, only for it to disappear and reappear as if it's teasing their senses. Mulder's brow furrows, and he reaches for his flashlight, hoping to shed some light on the mysterious noise.

“Mulder, this is strange. Let's go back to town and try to find out who is spending the nights here,” Scully suggests, her eyes never leaving his face. As she speaks, Mulder shines the flashlight around the cabin, revealing nothing but dusty corners and forgotten furniture.

He nods in agreement while taking a final look around. Reluctantly, they decide to abandon their search for the mysterious noise and head back to town.

Leaving the cabin, they find themselves bathed in the cool evening light. The distant calls of birds and rustling leaves fill the air, lending an almost surreal atmosphere to the surrounding woods. As they walk back to their car, curiosity gnaws at Scully, and she wonders if the locals hold any information that could unravel the mystery.

Chapter 3: Ghosts

As they stand outside the cabin, their breaths visible in the chilly air, Scully feels a tinge of apprehension. The silence hangs heavy around them. The mysterious noise has disappeared.

While Mulder pulls out the car keys to their rental and gets behind the wheel, Scully takes another look around. Her attention is drawn back to the present when she hears the car only giving a few labored sounds before falling silent again. Mulder twists the car key repeatedly, frustration evident on his face as the engine refuses to start.

Scully takes out her cell phone and checks for a signal, taking a few steps around. But the “No Service” message remains unyielding, leaving them stranded in the middle of the woods.

With a frustrated growl, Mulder gets out of the car and steps back next to Scully. The encroaching darkness wraps around them like an oppressive shroud, and Scully shivers, seeking warmth and comfort by wrapping her arms tightly around herself.

“We should probably go back inside,” Mulder suggests, guiding her towards the cabin's entrance with a hand at the small of her back.

Inside, the air is musty, and Scully wonders about the person who sought refuge here before them. Who’d spend a night out deep in the woods in an abandoned cabin with nothing but an old blanket and a book on mythical creators? Well, aside from them, that is. She throws Mulder a fond sideways glance. Only he would find an outrageous tale about ghosts worth investigating.

“Do you think we're alone here?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

Mulder pauses, his eyes meeting hers. “I don't know, Scully. There's something strange about this place. Maybe our mysterious visitor with the fascination for mythical creatures will come back.”

Outside, the night deepens, and the woods come alive with the sounds of nocturnal creatures. Scully can hear the distant hoot of an owl, and the rustling of leaves in the wind.

Reluctantly, she sits down on the old, worn mattress and tries to get comfortable. She can feel weariness settling in, watching Mulder's flashlight cast long shadows on the walls while he searches through the old shelves.

With a triumphant shout, he holds up a big pack of long matches and walks over to the fireplace. Within a few minutes, he’s built a small fire, its crackling warmth bringing comfort to the cabin. They sit close to the flames, their shoulders touching, and for a moment, Scully forgets about the strange cabin and their predicament.

“You know, Scully,” Mulder begins, his voice soft and reflective, “sometimes I wonder if we're meant to find all the answers we seek.”

She looks at him, captivated by the contemplative look on his face. “What do you mean?” she asks, genuinely curious.

Mulder gazes at the dancing flames. “Maybe it's not about the answers themselves, but about the journey we take to find them. The people we meet, the experiences we share—maybe that’s the real truth.”

Scully takes a moment to process his words. Their shared experiences have certainly been a revelation, even if they didn’t get them all the answers. Yet, she corrects herself.

As the fire crackles before her, Scully's mind wanders back to only a few months before. Surviving cancer had been a deeply transformative experience, one that had forced her to confront her own mortality and reassess her priorities. It had also strengthened her bond with Mulder, bringing them closer together in ways she could have never imagined.

Her gaze flickers to Mulder, his profile illuminated by the flickering flames. He'd been her rock through the toughest times, never wavering in his support and belief in her.

“What do you mean,” she questions.

“Scully, I can't help but feel that we're chasing shadows, quite literally,” Mulder confesses.

“Shadows?”

“Sometimes it feels like we're running in circles. And now, with everything that happened in the past year…” His voice trails off, the memories of her battle with cancer haunting him as well.

“I just can’t help but wonder if this is really the right path anymore. There's been so much evidence that it's all been a lie, you know. Maybe it’s all really about making people believe, so they don’t question anything anymore,” Mulder continues.

“And at what price. It was just too close. If you had died…,” he trails off, looking away.

Scully carefully takes Mulder’s hand, entangling her fingers with his, and squeezes. “Then you would’ve kept looking. And you would’ve found a way to help other women who they experimented on.”

Mulder stays silent, his hand solid and warm in hers. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t know if I would have. I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

Scully turns back to look into the flames, both sitting in silence.

Chapter 4: Journeys

With no option but to wait for daylight, Mulder tries to lighten the mood with a joke. “You know, Scully, if this turns out to be a ghost, we'll have to rethink all our theories about the afterlife.”

Scully can't help but smile, grateful for his attempt to ease the tension. “I'll leave the ghost theories to you, Mulder. I'm more interested in finding a logical explanation for all of this.”

He chuckles, the sound soothing to her ears. “Ah, but where's the fun in that? Sometimes, we have to embrace the unknown and let go of our need for certainty.”

Scully gives him a playful nudge. “Easy for you to say, Mulder. You thrive on uncertainty.”

He grins, his eyes sparkling with affection. “And you keep me grounded, Scully. We balance each other out.”

They smile at each other, the warmth of the fire and their shared history creating a sense of intimacy.

“You know, Mulder, I never imagined my life would turn out this way,” she admits, her voice soft and introspective.

“What do you mean?” he asks, genuinely curious.

“I mean, I always wanted to be a scientist, to follow the path of reason and logic. I became a medical doctor to help people and a pathologist to get them the justice they deserve. And then I met you, and everything changed. And it's been a rollercoaster ever since,” she explains.

Mulder smiles, his gaze fixed on the flickering flames. “I'm glad you’re on board, Scully. Do you ever regret it?”

Scully looks at him, her face earnest. “Never, Mulder. You've challenged me, pushed me to question my beliefs, and showed me things I couldn’t even imagine. I can't imagine my life without it.”

He turns his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers once more.

“Even when it costs you so much, Scully?” Mulder replies softly, his thumb caressing the back of her hand. “Is it really worth it for you?”

Scully nods, her gaze lingering on their intertwined fingers. “I wish it didn’t cost Missy her life. That’s my biggest regret. And I wish I’d never been abducted. It caused mom so much pain….” Mulder flinches and grips her hand tightly.

“No! Mulder, I don’t blame you for any of that. The only people responsible for that are still out there. And we will find them,” Scully continues. She ducks her head, trying to see his eyes.

“But sometimes, I can't help but wonder if we're chasing the wrong answers. It feels like we're always on the edge, searching for answers that may never come,” Mulder replies.

Scully's gaze softens as she listens to Mulder. She takes a moment to absorb his words. She's faced her own share of skepticism along the way, questioning if their pursuit of the truth will ever get them the answers to their questions. Especially in the last year, when she’d been fighting for her life. The moments of doubt had been outweighed by the profound impact they'd had on each other. Their shared journey had become more than just chasing answers; it had become a testament to the special bond they share.

“You're right, Mulder,” she responds gently, “It can be frustrating, but it's also what keeps us going. The pursuit of the truth, no matter how elusive, is what drives us.”

Scully gives Mulder’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “We may not always find the answers we seek, Mulder, but the journey itself will get us closer. It's what keeps me going, knowing that we're in this together, no matter how challenging it gets.”

Mulder smiles, his eyes warm with appreciation. Their hands remain intertwined, the fire's warmth and their unwavering connection providing comfort in the midst of uncertainty.

Scully leans her head against his shoulder, finding comfort in his presence. “I’ve been thinking a lot since last year. The things I want to do, now that I know I’ll have the chance, the things I never pursued because I thought there was so much time and all the things I still want to prove to myself.”

He wraps an arm around her, pulling her closer. “I understand, Scully.”

She lets out a sigh, feeling the tension in her shoulders ease. “I realized, I want to live up to everyone's expectations, including my own. There's so much pressure. I want to be strong for you, for our work, for my family, but sometimes it feels like I'm failing at everything. It can be exhausting, Mulder.”

He kisses the top of her head, his lips brushing against her hair. “You don't have to be perfect, Scully. We're human, and we're allowed to have doubts and fears. That doesn't make you any less capable or strong. You're not alone in this.”

Scully turns her head and gives Mulder a pointed look. He can’t help but laugh. “I know, I should listen to myself, huh?”

She just turns her head back and puts her head back on his shoulder, his warmth seeping through his coat, warming her cheek.

Their conversation lingers in the air, the weight of Mulder's words resonating in Scully's mind as her eyes start to droop. They settle into their makeshift sleeping arrangements. The crackling of the fire provides a soothing backdrop to their thoughts, and the warmth of their connection lingers even in the silence between them.

Mulder puts the blanket over them both as fully as possible. It’s not much, but with their added body warmth and the small fire it’ll get them through the night.

Just before closing her eyes, Scully glances at Mulder once more, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

In the warmth of the fire's glow, Scully feels a glimmer of hope for the future—now that she has one again. There may not be a ghost or an answer to what that hiker really saw and the world may still be full of questions and secrets, but she knows that she's not alone. She has Mulder by her side, a constant presence in their ever-shifting lives.

Chapter 5: Encounters

As the night wears on, Scully finds herself drifting closer to sleep, lulled by the flickering flames and Mulder's steady presence beside her. But just as she's about to succumb to slumber, a strange noise jolts them awake, their senses instantly on high alert.

“What was that?” Scully whispers, her heart pounding in her chest. The sudden interruption shatters the tranquility of the moment, and the tension returns, reminding them of the mystery they are here for.

Mulder's grip on the flashlight tightens as he sits up, scanning their surroundings for any signs of danger. “I don't know,” he replies in a hushed tone. “Maybe it's a rat.” Mulder silently gets to his feet, with Scully right behind him. Both agents pull their guns.

They slowly start exploring the cabin again, their flashlights casting long, wavering shadows into the dark corners. Scully's instincts are on high alert, and every creak of the floorboards and rustle of the wind outside makes the hairs on her arms stand up.

“Mulder, do you think we're alone here?” she whispers, glancing over her shoulder as if expecting someone—or something—to be lurking in the shadows.

Mulder's eyes scan the dimly lit interior of the cabin. “I'm not sure, Scully. It's possible that whoever sought refuge here before may be back again.”

Just then, a strange noise echoes through the cabin, causing both of them to freeze. It's the soft, almost ethereal sound again they heard a few hours ago. Like the whisper of a ghostly presence. Scully's heart pounds in her chest as she grips her flashlight tighter.

“What is that?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

Mulder raises an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. “I'm not sure, but let's find out.”

With caution, they move toward the source of the sound, their flashlights sweeping over every corner of the cabin. And that's when they see him—a complete stranger, standing in the shadows near the far corner of the room.

He's an old man, hunched over with age, dressed in tattered clothes that seem to blend with the surrounding darkness. His hair is a wild mass of curly hair, and his eyes hold a depth of wisdom that seems to pierce through Mulder and Scully's souls.

Neither of them speaks, unsure of what to make of this unexpected visitor, their guns trained on their strange late night guest. How has he managed to find them in the middle of the woods, in the dead of night? And how did he get into the cabin without them noticing?

Mulder takes a step forward, his voice steady but cautious. “Who are you? Are you okay? How did you get here?”

The old man remains silent for a moment, his gaze shifting between Mulder and Scully as if assessing them. Then, finally, he speaks, his voice soft and weathered. “I apologize for intruding. I sought shelter and thought this cabin was empty. My name is Peter.”

Scully and Mulder exchange glances, uncertain about how to proceed. Peter's presence seems almost ethereal, and the circumstances are strange, but he appears to be unarmed and doesn’t really pose any danger.

“And why are you out in the middle of the night?” Scully asks suspiciously, her gun never wavering.

“I’m searching for something and the darkness surprised me,” he explains.

Peter slowly moves closer to where they have set up their blanket. Scully raises her gun and takes a step back. The old man stops immediately and holds his hands up.

“Do you mind if I sit down for a bit? It should get light out in only a few more hours, and then I'm on my way,” he asks Scully.

Scully hesitates, but then lowers her gun and Mulder follows suit.

“Yes, have a seat, Peter. I’m afraid we only have one blanket and this old mattress, but it should be better than having to stay out in the woods,” Mulder explains.

“What are you doing here anyway? This is not exactly a place for city folks like you,” Peter mumbles. He slowly lowers himself to the mattress and sighs when his knees pop.

“We’re with the FBI, and we’re here to investigate the sighting of a ghost. We’re waiting for morning as well to get back into town,” Mulder continues, watching the visitor carefully. “Did you ever hear anything about that?”

Peter chuckles. “A ghost? Well. There are many old stories about ghosts being told around here. You know, those dark woods are made for scary tales.”

Scully snorts before sitting back down on their blanket and giving Mulder a pointed look.

Mulder gives her a chagrined smile and sits down as well.

“Can’t argue with that, I guess.”

Chapter 6: Shadows

The old man moves his hands closer to the warmth of the flames but stays well away from the fire.

“So, a ghost is what you're looking for. Pretty unusual activity for the FBI, I’d say,” he gives them a sideways glance. “Well, since you like ghost stories, let me share a mesmerizing tale I once heard, of a man who was also searching,” Peter begins. “It might even relate to your ghost—and your search.

“A long while ago, not far away from this cabin and in these woods, lived a man who was burdened with the weight of life's struggles. You see, he'd been an outcast all his life, and all he wanted was to find the purpose of his life.

“He figured, if he found the meaning of life, his life would become wonderful. He'd finally have the answers to all his questions, he'd know what to do, and everything would have a purpose. So he set out one day to find this elusive purpose of his life. He met many people along the way, some of them happy, and some bogged down by their own existence. One day, fate had a peculiar twist in store for him, leading him to a mysterious encounter that would prove to change the course of his life forever.

“Amid the busy streets and bustling crowds of a big city, a figure draped in a mysterious gray cloak appeared before him. This enigmatic stranger, whom the man knew nothing about, offered him a tempting deal—one that would grant him great wisdom and answers to all the questions he'd been seeking. It was beyond his imagination.

“All he would need to do was one little thing. He'd have to sell the cloaked man his shadow. The man thought for a bit, but then decided there was no real use for a shadow anyway. And if it would get him all the answers, he'd been looking for, his quest would finally be complete. It seemed too good to be true.

“He agreed to the tempting proposition, unknowingly sealing his fate. The man in the gray coat smiled, and before the man could think any further about what he'd agreed to, the stranger was gone. And all of a sudden, everything seemed clear to him. Every question he'd been wondering about immediately had an answer in his mind as soon as he thought about it. And suddenly it all made sense. With newfound wisdom at his disposal, he decided to finally return home, hoping to escape his past hardships and live a perfect life from now on.

“But, as we often find in life, every choice has consequences. His decision led to an unforeseen circumstance—instead of being welcomed with open arms, people still avoided him. He now might have all the answers, but time and people had moved on. And no one really cared about his answers anymore. Even his own family just wanted to forget about all the old questions and hard times of the past. Some had even already passed on, and he hadn't been able to say goodbye.

“Instead of the wonderful life he’d hoped for, he became an outcast for a different reason than before. He didn't have a shadow, and people quickly avoided him and considered him an object of fear and curiosity. And he lacked any purpose. Everything seemed unimportant and trivial now, and he spent all his days walking around the town and the woods to find something that could return the purpose to his life, his quest for answers had been.

“The emptiness of his existence weighed heavily on him as he tried to find a place to belong. And he realized that all the answers could never give him the closure he'd really been looking for. Instead, they'd turned him into even more of an outcast.

“In his desperate need to understand, he set out to undo his plight, and so the man embarked on a new journey to locate the elusive figure who had changed his life forever. And once again, he encountered people who both hindered and helped him on his new quest.

“One day, he came face to face with the enigmatic stranger once more. At that moment, as he sought redemption, he discovered the true value of his own identity and the significance of embracing oneself. He'd sold himself for his quest for answers. And so the man found that nothing could replace the essence of who he was. In the end, it's all hollow. His quest for purpose and finding answers was all nothing when he had to pay with his own shadow.”

The old man pauses and stares into the dying flames of their little fire from his spot at the far edge of the old mattress. Mulder and Scully watch him silently, Mulder fascinated, Scully thoughtful and a bit skeptical.

“You may wonder why I'm telling you all this. Well, we're in this man's old cabin right now. This is where he used to live many, many years ago. Deep in the woods, seeking his purpose and later, after his return until the day he died,” Peter continues.

Scully raises an eyebrow. “And he didn’t have a shadow.”

Peter smiles and the skin around his eyes crinkles as he looks at Scully. “That’s how it’s told, yes. It’s said that he’s appeared to several people over the years, that have been lost, looking for their purpose in life.”

The cabin is eerily silent. Suddenly, the last flames flicker and die, plunging them into complete darkness except for the still-glowing ash.

“Well, as exciting as that was, I think we're out of light and shadows now as well,” Mulder jokes uneasily. “Let's try to get some sleep, and we can discuss this some more in the morning.”

*** A/N:

The story Peter tells Mulder and Scully is based on the 1814 novella "Peter Schlemihl's Miraculous Story" by Adelbert von Chamisso. I've adapted it slightly to make it fit better with Mulder and Scully‘s experience.

Chapter 7: Light

As dawn breaks, Scully and Mulder awake to find Peter gone. The soft rays of sunlight filter through the trees, casting intricate patterns of light and shadow on the forest floor.

“I can't believe he disappeared like that,” Scully says, her voice tinged with a mix of bewilderment and curiosity.

Mulder nods, his gaze distant as he contemplates the possibilities. “It's like he was never really here. But I can't shake the feeling that there's more to this than meets the eye.”

“Maybe he left early and didn’t want to wake us,” Scully says, and Mulder nods slowly.

“Please don’t tell me you think he was your ghost!” She exclaims.

Mulder keeps looking at the trees, trying to find any trace of their midnight visitor. “What did you think about that story he told us? About the man who sold his shadow?”

“I think it’s an old ghost story people tend to make up when it’s cold and dark outside and there’s not much to do except entertain each other,” Scully answers while turning around, eyeing her cellphone in disapproval.

“Still no signal,” she sighs. Mulder checks his phone as well and nods. “Mine neither.”

They gather their sparse belongings and prepare to leave the cabin. The air is cool and crisp, hinting at the approaching autumn. The leaves rustle softly in the breeze, creating a soothing background to nature's sounds.

“Let’s try the car one more time. Maybe it’ll start now,” Mulder suggests. He pulls the keys out of his pocket and gets in the driver seat.

The car starts without any issues.

Mulder stares at Scully through the windshield, his implications clear. Scully raises an eyebrow, her scientific mind seeking a logical explanation. She gets into the passenger seat, more than ready to leave this strange place behind.

As they’re slowly making their way back, Mulder's mind races with theories, and he can't resist sharing his thoughts with Scully. “You know, I've been thinking. Peter never stepped into the light last night. I don’t remember seeing his shadow either.”

Scully snorts and crosses her arms. “Mulder, there’s no such thing as an object without shadow when there’s light around them. It’s simply not possible.”

He hesitates, his eyes searching hers for understanding. “I know it sounds far-fetched, but think about it. We never saw his shadow, and now he's gone without a trace. It's like he was never really here.”

Scully considers his theory but remains skeptical. “Mulder, there has to be a rational explanation for this. That man was there last night. And since there are no such things as ghosts, he most certainly also had a shadow.”

Mulder stays silent, contemplating the events of last night. He can't shake the feeling that Peter's presence has something to do with their conversation earlier. About the purpose of his quest and the meaning of life.

Scully is just as silent, staring out of the window, deep in thought. She squints her eyes against the morning sun. The encounter has stirred something deep inside both of them, leaving them once again with more questions than answers. But this time the questions may be answers as well. Only to different questions.

As they get closer to town, Mulder turns to Scully and grins. “Hey, Scully, why do ghosts make good cheerleaders? Because they have a lot of spirit!”

She rolls her eyes, but can't help a small smile. “Only you would make a joke like that, Mulder.”

“Well, you know me, always trying to keep things entertaining,” he replies, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Entertaining is one way to put it,” she retorts playfully.

“Ah, come on, Scully, where's your sense of adventure? You've got to admit, life with me is never boring,” he says with a grin.

“That's true,” she admits, her smile growing more genuine. “You certainly have a way of keeping things interesting.”

Mulder winks at her. “And you have a way of getting me back down to earth. We make a great team, don't we?”

“We do,” Scully agrees, smiling at their familiar banter. “Even when you lead us into some of the most bizarre situations.”

“Hey, it's all in the name of the truth!”

They smile at each other, both comfortable in their car in the middle of nowhere, as they continue their journey. The cabin with its open questions fades slowly behind, but they’ll keep finding comfort in the journey itself, even if the destination remains ambiguous.

The End ***

Thank you so much for reading. You can also find this fic on AO3.

[oohnotvery]

Wherever Is Your Heart (Chapter 10)

PART III

Scully

Several Months Later

Scully wakes to a sharp chill all around her. Down to her bones, she is cold, miserably so. The only sensation in her body seems to be frigidity. There is no smell, no sight, no touch, no memory.

All she knows is that she is very, very cold.

Slowly, though, her mind starts to sharpen and she begins to take in things around her. Upon opening her eyes, she notices a bright, blinding whiteness all around her. It burns her sensitive retinas and she squeezes her eyes shut until tears leak out and down her cheeks.

When the pain passes, she realizes she is cocooned in something—a blanket or a jacket, perhaps—and wherever she is, she can hear the sharp, howling noise of the wind. It is a fierce, rip-roaring sound and it scares her.

And then, with a start, she realizes that she is naked. Not just down to her bra and underwear, no. She is as naked as the day she was born. Horror and terror mix in her stomach and she sits up quickly as bile rises to her throat. The brilliant white around her is less painful this time when she opens her eyes and she leans over to retch—but nothing comes out. She ends up dry heaving violently until she feels a warm hand at her back and fingers moving to pull her hair away from her face.

“Scully, Scully,” she hears, the sound of her name patient and persistent even over the raging winds outside. “It’s me, you’re okay.” The voice repeats like a metronome, steady and patient and calm.

When she’s done coughing, when her system seems determined not to spontaneously and violently throw up, she takes a long breath in, wincing at the frigid air entering the lungs. That patient, waiting hand on her back begins stroking soothingly down her spine, its movement encouraging her to keep breathing slowly.

“M-mulder?” she eventually whispers past chapped lips and a dry throat. Her body shakes violently and goosebumps trip down her arms and legs. She feels strong arms encircling her and pulling her back down, down, down into something warm—the blanket, maybe, or, no . . . it’s a sleeping bag.

“I’m here,” he confirms quietly, and his voice is so calm, so sure of itself. She trusts, just for a moment, that even though she doesn’t know what’s happening, she is safe with him.

It is as she lies down into the cradle of his arms that she realizes he is naked too. Fully, completely naked.

She goes rigid as her thigh slides across his genitals, shocked by the unfamiliar sensation and terrified by the memories she doesn’t have. 

Briefly, she wonders if she’s dreaming, but the cold is too realistic for that.

“I’m sorry that we’re, uh, sans clothing,” he jokes timidly, and she waits nervously for some elaboration. Were they robbed? Captured? Kidnapped? Attacked? Or did they strip down willingly?

“Mulder, I need more,” she eventually croaks out when he doesn’t seem like he’s going to continue.

He sighs heavily and she blushes as her body moves up and down with his exhale. “You were dying,” he says, “from the cold. This seemed like a medical necessity.”

She takes it in, closing her eyes as memories awaken in her mind. She is starting to remember, but what she remembers horrifies her.

He shifts them slightly and she realizes that she has not even dared to look at him.

“Where are we, Mulder?”

A pause. “Antarctica.”

She swallows past the dryness in her throat. “And more specifically?” Her eyes rove over the space around her. She sees windows above her covered in a thick layer of ice and snow, but apart from that, she can’t place herself.

Another pause. “Inside a Sno-Cat.”

“Does anyone know we’re here?”

She feels him swallow. “I called for rescue. There was no reply.”

“No gas?”

“Not enough to get us anywhere. I burned through most of it trying to get you warmed back up. You were hypothermic for a while, not even moving, which is why I resorted to . . . this.”

She takes a second to collect herself, to face the reality of their situation, and then she shifts onto her shoulder, facing Mulder. She ignores the way her thigh once again brushes his genitals and the way her belly presses against his firm torso. She ignores the way his body starts to respond to her closeness and props herself up on her elbow to stare down at him.

He looks up at her, his green eyes dark and somber, his bottom lip protruding slightly. If their situation weren’t so dire, she would hate this a lot more. She would despise being this close to him after all they’ve been through. Yes, he’s made it pretty clear that he wants her sexually, but love never seemed to cross his mind. And love is what she needs from him.

After their conversation at the coffee shop, she half-expected him to do something crazy. To go all-out trying to win her over. He had said he wanted her, for God’s sake. But nothing happened. Life continued as usual—cases, travel, field work, autopsies, monsters, Tyler. And Mulder drew back; he pulled away. They didn’t talk about their personal lives, and they never again brought up what happened that night in her apartment. It very nearly broke her heart.

“Well,” she finally says, shaking herself of her gloomy thoughts, “this seems like an appropriate way for us to die.”

His mouth twitches slightly. “I somehow always knew we’d die together,” he tells her.

She rolls her eyes. “That’s touching, Mulder.”

They fall silent but their eyes stay locked. Something in his expression changes and he reaches up to push a lock of hair out of her eyes. The tenderness of the gesture coupled with her physical exhaustion brings unexpected tears to her eyes.

“I tried to save us, Scully,” he whispers, his brows pulling together painfully.

Her throat thickens with sudden emotion. “I know you did, Mulder.”

She leans down and presses her face into his cheek, trying to enjoy the scritch of his stubble against her skin and forget that they’re dying. He turns and their noses bump, and then he dips his lips to touch hers. The kiss is so soft, so tender, just a closed-mouth press of his lips to hers. When he pulls away, he is watching her with a sad, tender expression. Her heart beats in triple time. Why is he doing this?

“Was that just because we’re dying?” she breathes.

He huffs a quiet laugh and shakes his head. “No, Scully, it’s not just because we’re dying.”

She quirks an eyebrow at him and he returns to her, kissing her a little more firmly as he strokes her windburned cheek with the back of a hand. He is so gentle with her, like she’s made of glass. There is no lust here, no desire, no yearning. It is pure affection, and it melts her.

Moved, she opens her mouth slightly and presses back into him, letting him kiss her and taste her, letting the tears that start to fall mingle in their mouths.

If this really is the end, maybe it’s all she can hope for to die in Mulder’s arms. Even though he’s never felt for her what she feels for him, this is the only person she wants to be with at the end of all things. Love or not.

Eventually, the cold, her physical exhaustion, and what she suspects is the onset of a fever start to make her feel drowsy. Unable to keep her eyes open, she lets her lips slide to Mulder’s cheek, where she rests with uneven breathing. He continues stroking her cheek, his lips traveling up and down her face until eventually, he too stills.

“Scully, I love you,” he breathes into the Sno-Cat.

Her heart stutters in her chest, all thoughts and feelings sliding to a complete stop. “You what?” she manages to whisper.

A noise sounds in the back of his throat, low and painful. “So much, Scully. You are the great, great love of my life.”

All she can think is that if he is being honest, there have been a thousand missed moments. A thousand heartbreaks. A thousand wounds.

“How long?” she whispers.

His nose shuffles in her hair. “Always,” he murmurs. “Always, Scully. Since the night you came to my room with mosquito bites.”

She thinks back to the Christmas party, back to the mysterious blonde woman, back to his tongue between her legs, back to the coffee shop, back to the million moments in between. Why now? Why not then?  

“You told me you wanted me,” she reminds him through tears. Her heart twists in agony. “Want is not love.”

“Want is not love,” he agrees, running a thumb across her breastbone. “But I thought it was so obvious. I thought you knew.” His breath ghosts her cheek. “Scully, I thought you knew.”

Stunned into silence, she shakes her head. She is angry and enraged and relieved and surprised, but she is too tired to tell him any of this.

“You never said anything,” she mumbles into his chest. She doesn’t understand, but she can hardly keep her eyes open. “Why did you wait? All this time, to tell me only in death.”

“I should have told you,” she hears him whisper, the apology ghosting across her face.

He kisses the moisture from her cheeks and then returns to her lips, parting them with his tongue, pressing her deeper into their sleeping bag.

She wraps her arms around his neck and lets him continue to kiss her, to love her. He is gentle with her, his lips and tongue and hands steady, sweet, and so, so tender. He loves me, it makes her believe.

When she finally gives in to the exhaustion, she doesn’t expect to wake.

[starwalker42]

febuwhump day 12: "can you hear me?"

episode: Biogenesis | tw: self injury | teen and above

I’ve known she was coming. I could hear her, against the background of voices and noise and information, a familiar undercurrent to the crashing, rolling surface. Scully.

Now she’s close, getting closer. I want to get up, want to meet her at the door and hold her against me, but I’m scared. The doctors think I’m dangerous. They think I’ll hurt them, think I’ll hurt Scully, and even though I don’t want to, I’d never dream of hurting her, I don’t know if I can trust my body right now. It moves without me wanting it to, and doesn’t move when I do. I can’t trust myself, not like this.

“Mulder.” She sits down across from me, almost close enough to touch. “Mulder, it’s me. Can you hear me?”

I can hear her. In more ways than one.

God, he’s so weak, and he looks so scared, so afraid – afraid of me? Does he trust me? Why didn’t he call me, why didn’t he tell me what was happening, why did he call her – no, not the time, not now, he’s in pain and he needs you and you’re his partner – and he screamed for you, he screamed your name, he knew you were here, he knew… god, Mulder, what’s happening in your head?

The pain is back. It’s too much, far too much, to hear every thought and feel every sensation and see every image from someone else’s head as well as my own. My close to block it out. I see, through Scully’s eyes, my hand close into a fist and start to thump against the side of my head.

“Mulder!”

She wants to jump in and grab me, make me stop, but she’s too scared of what I might do to myself if she touches me without warning. I feel the conflict within her, know what she’s going to say before she says it.

“Mulder, please, I know you’re in there. I need you to stop hurting yourself.” Baby, she adds in her head. It very nearly reaches her lips.

I want to listen to her, I want to stop, but I can’t feel my body. I can’t control it. And that makes me angry. I see myself moving, moving towards Scully, and hear her: oh, Mulder, no, please, they’ll take me away from you, but she doesn’t move, and then I’m closer to her, fists clenched and jaw tight, and she looks into my eyes –

Where are you, Mulder? How do I get through to you? I’m so sorry, I’m sorry I left you with her, I’m going to keep you safe –

And she’s imagining, now, which is blurrier than reality, but still enough for me to see – she’s imagining us somewhere warm and safe, me in her arms, pressing her forehead to mine and wrapping her whole body around me, kissing me – kissing me? – softly, so, so softly, and everywhere I look in her head it’s safety and warmth and love, all aimed at me.

In the real image of me, my body relaxes, and I sway towards her – she reaches for me – that’s it, Mulder, it’s me, it’s okay – and then the door opens.

No, not yet, I need more time, don’t –

There’s more voices, now, more thoughts, more images, and it hurts so bad, and as if through a twisted kaleidoscope of different colours and angles I hear all of them hear me moaning and see them watch me lash out at all of them. And they’re taking Scully away, Scully’s leaving, and I force her name out again, push my own thoughts past the roar of them in my head.

She hears me, but can’t turn around, isn’t allowed to come back to me. She wants to, though – I can still hear her, fading into the undercurrent again but not disappearing, even as she’s taken away.

Fuck’s sake, why won’t they just – he wasn’t going to hurt me, he’d never hurt me, he just wanted – I don’t want to leave him, don’t make me leave him, I need him to know, I need to tell him – you could’ve told him, but you’re too scared to – I shouldn’t have gone, he thinks… god knows what he thinks. Oh, god, Mulder. Mulder please don’t leave me. Please hold on.

@today-in-fic

[baronessblixen]

Scully looks at her son in her arms. William appears a bit anxious, catching glances around him. They had decided to spend the afternoon at a farm in the country, knowing how much William loves animals. But he seems reluctant to leave her arms, as he is impressed by all the sheep surrounding them, and how much noise they make.

« Look at the baby, William! » Mulder says encouragingly when the farmer brings out a newborn lamb.

Scully reassures her son, telling her that the baby lamb is just like him. If there’s sudden movement, it will scare him away too. « Look how soft he is, honey ! » she coos. The farmer, holding the lamb in one arm, brings out a bottle of milk « do you want to give the bottle, buddy? »

Can you finish this small fic I started ? 🙏

William remains uncertain, his big eyes darting between the lamb and his parents.

"You don't have to," Scully whispers into his soft downy hair so only he hears it. He's becoming restless, his curiosity growing. All week long, he'd been talking about sheep and lambs and how he wanted to see them.

"Let me try," Mulder says, winking at William. With her son still in her arms, Scully watches as the lamb nestles in Mulder's nap and hungrily sucks at the bottle, droplets of milk flying around. William giggles seeing this and Scully feels him slip from her arms. She refrains from reminding him to approach the lamb slowly and just lets it happen.

The boy is careful, checking with his father and when Mulder nods, William sits next to him. The farmer and Mulder transfer the lamb over to William's arms.

"Ready?" Mulder asks before he hands William the bottle.

"I'm feeding the lamb!" He exclaims and as soon as he realizes how loud his voice is, he quiets himself. "Sorry baby lamb," he says, pressing a noisy kiss to the lamb's head. The animal is unperturbed and keeps suckling.

"Yes, you are," Scully says and her and Mulder's eyes meet. His smile is as bright as his son's; they're a matching set. Her own face must look similar. Tears of joy shoot into her eyes, but she blinks them away. She knows that as soon as they leave here, William will badger them about getting a lamb as a pet. And knowing Mulder, he will come up with reasons why it's not the worst idea. Seeing her son this happy, to see him sit still for five minutes, is worth it.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 1 thoughts

wow… how much time has progressed… and to think, a mere two months ago, i barely knew these character’s names, let alone that they will likely stick with me for eternity...

let us begin. as we always must do.

okay, so i’m reading the episode description: scully is facing a possible dismissal!!! i know she broke rules but it was for FRIENDSHIP and LOVE! does that not count for anything anymore?!

(spooky noise) (dried up alien shot) (voice of disembodied narrative) last season on the X files…

(a recap of cig man burning things)

we open back in New Mexico, to Albert describing his relationship to memory and history: “memory is radiant and immutable, while history serves only those who seek to control it” <- banger line.

anyway. we see the smoldering ruins of that train car that was once full of aliens. but not a single mulder in sight…

cig man is breaking into the kind people’s houses!! he and his cronies are conducting violence… THEY HIT ALBERT IN THE HEAD NOOO??? HE IS A HERO... cig man, you are less than a mosquito to me

scully time!!! she’s on the scene… guess she didn’t get far back to DC. “where is he?” she asks, and they look at each other with concern in their eyes. oh, they don’t know...

eric walks into the room with a terribly beaten face... NOOO ERIC, THEY SHOULD HAVE NEVER DONE THIS TO YOU.

now scully is screaming for him on the cliffs whilst the smoke still billows from the train where he was last seen… no response… it is not looking good for our friend mulder!!

she finally tries to go home, and a helicopter is shining on scully. RIGHT on her. this is not good for driving. they run her off the road with no regard for anyone's safety??? could have caused a MASSIVE pileup.

anyway, they grab her and it’s upsetting, asking where the files are and she says in the trunk. do we believe her??? it’s a copy of some of them, but not the DAT, which i would guess means the original cassette tape... oh nooo i’m scared… i mean she couldn’t deny it, but it’s also not looking good for the secrets she was trying to keep. so, without the "DAT", they just leave.

back at the FBI, they are telling her she needs to take a leave of absence. she is looking at the ground and it is once again giving student in the principal’s office. NO PAY OR BENEFITS??? you can't do that... what if she needs to go to the doctor......

i guess she is a doctor but the point stands. you NEED insurance in these parts.

she gives them her badge and gun and says she thinks mulder is dead :( NOOOOO you cannot admit defeat

skinner says “don’t think this hasn’t been difficult for everyone” and she is holding back a very very very biting remark but actually manages to hold it back, so god only knows what she wanted to say. a stronger woman than i.

until she leaves the room, that is!!! skinner comes out to talk to her and OH SHE IS MAD!!

“what about the people who are poisoning agent mulder’s water? whose protocol was that? the men who killed agent mulder, the people who killed his father- they aren’t meant to be found”

“we will find them”

“with all due respect, sir, I think you overestimate your position in the chain of command” <- OHHHH TEA. she basically said, you're a liar working for liars and perpetuating lies. meanwhile WE'RE the only real bitches at the function and one of ‘em’s dead because of YOUR pet cigarette man. SICK!!!!! truly evil.

now she has to find some work to pay the bills skinner!!

(i don't think skinner is evil, i just think he's a dick sometimes and that pisses me off more than sheer evilness. EACH time i think i have him figured out. he does something that proves me wrong)

one last visit to mulder's office before she leaves. she's going to take the real files on the cassette and they are GONE??? to whom have they gone…..

back in new york city. it's a meeting of the minds, all the big names in the world of covering up the existence of aliens. cig man is saying everything is fine, mulder is dead, and all the files are back. ALLEGEDLY!! i believe him on no accounts.

GASP scully going to her mom’s house… she walked there barefoot at night because her shoes hurt her :(

“i’ve made a terrible mistake. dad would be so ashamed of me” NOOOOOOOOOOOO DON’T SAY THAT!!!

(i cannot speak to the moral character of her father but if it were me, i would say it was doing the Right thing that counts far more than following corrupt orders from a corrupt system. and this is further proof that she is one of those people who Has to do the right thing or the guilt will consume her... )

and she DID do the right thing!!!! she just doesn't have faith!!!! i'll cry!!!

buzzards back in New Mexico… oh........

HAND SPOTTED!! white man’s hand in the rocks. is it mulder smushed?????? 

IT IS!! albert and co are hauling him out of a hole, and he’s looking quite dead, but he seems to have hid in a cave with the aliens. good on him for finding a convenient hole to duck into.

they’re doing a ceremony to call the Holy People!!!! i hope it works because remember, the calusari said mulder knows the devil and that seems contradictory...

hopefully they were just lying.

scully back home. sleeping in bed. answering the door, for someone knocks.

it’s FROHIKE???? i cackled. WHY does he know where she lives! and also why is he here when she is in her robe! well. i guess mourning will have you up and about at odd hours.

he drank a whole bottle of what looks like vodka...? and described mulder as “a redwood among mere sprouts” i laughed... it's so genuine. we all know a frohike, for better or for worse.

he assumes that she will be next in line for hunting The Truth, to which she replies, “i’m soon to be out of a job”. but she's a doctor, so it is gonna be okay. maybe she can just leave the last few months off her resume and get letters of recommendation from her professors. doctors, high in demand.

"and like rats, they just scatter back into the woodpile” she says, when discussing how these secretive people pull the strings behind the curtains. i took note because this is a yeehaw-sounding saying.

i guess we don't ever learn where she grew up, because it probably wasn't in one place, with her dad in the navy... but still. such a phrase is giving some sort of appalachia.

frohike brings bad news: the thinker was killed EXECUTION STYLE and found in a landfill... this is soooo fucked up. she is shocked they would do something so stupid and i was like ??? but ohh she's talking about tracing the bullets!

(i only realized this much later. i won't lie)

back in New Mexico, albert is working overtime calling the Holy People to come help, and mulder's floating out in space as he contemplates leaving this plane… 

people are surrounding him. perhaps the holy people or his ancestors??

but no, it is... DEEP THROAT??? I’VE MISSED YOU!!! it was nice to see him again, even for a brief moment in the astral plane.

he’s going on, very theatrically, about the absence of time in whatever it is inhabits after life: “i come to you, old friend, with the dull clarity of the dead, not to beckon you, but to feel the fire and intensity that still live in you…. there is truth here, if that is what you seek, but there is no justice or judgement, without which, truth is a vast, dead hallow” <- he has been reading Shakespeare in the afterlife 

no i actually loved that line. it goes hard. "the dull clearity of the dead". i'm eating that arrangement of words up

cutscene: aliens being gassed and locked in the railroad car. that’s…. Horrific 

(this scene takes mere seconds, and isn't addressed again in any real way in the episode, but holy. it was. unsettling. what did these bastards do to them....?)

back to the commune with the deceased. it's Bill! mr. mulder! he opens his eyes at his dad’s voice. his dad says he’s very sorry for lying about the whole alien thing, and says he is the memory; “if you were to die now, the truth would die, and only the lies survive us”. so no pressure whatsoever. /s

seemingly awake now, he asks if his sister is in the realm with the rest of those who have passed. and he learns she isn't there yet, so i'm pretty sure that makes up his mind, that he'll go back. but imagine if the answer was yes, she was there... do you think he would have still found the strength to return?

back in D.C., scully has to take the visitor’s entrance to the FBI :( but the security guard knows her!!! she is friendly in this way :) she beeps suspiciously... but he lets her though. i suspect that she might be hiding something... but what?

she's waiting for skinner. and ohhh skinner didn’t call her “agent” this time...ohhh the vibes are…….. not really vibing. it is uncomfortable.

she is bringing the news article to him and suggesting cross running the weapon that killed the thinker with the weapon that killed mulder’s dad to get some answers. this seems reasonable to me! he says she has been relieved of investigative duty and basically dismisses her. but she just wants to be helpful!!!! can you blame her??? she just wants to be HELPFUL, skinner, she wants her friend back and not dead. so please DON'T say something catty right now, i SWEAR.

SKINNER. I HATE YOU SOMETIMES. “ohhh the systems would have went off” so there is no need to cross reference the weapons. they’re killing people executioner style!!!! do you really think the people at the police department wouldn’t cover such a thing up?!?!? come ON let's use our heads!!!

he parrots her earlier line about him not having as much power as he thinks... ohhh you bitch. you should both be on the same team here and that team is "please let agent mulder be ALIVE"

he’s all “oh, you just wanna be helpful because you want your job back?” and she very firmly says NO. i just want answers. and honestly, she is handling this way better than i would be. because i would be biting and clawing skinner at this moment. to imply that she just wants her JOB back when she's trying to bring him information regarding a bunch of mysterious deaths, including that of her PARTNER?!?!?

so he says to bring him the cassette tape that she DOESN’T have or otherwise sit tight and let them do their job. and there is unbridled rage in her eyes but it somehow manages to not escape beyond body language and again, applause. 

pause. i’m actually so pissed on scully's behalf right now. and i just KNOW filming these scenes had to be fun.

as always in skinner's office, Bill Clinton watches over everything. his eyes are cold and uncaring. like a god who has abandoned its creation.

the MINUTE she leaves his office, cig man enters... SICK!!!! he's asking about the tape that he earlier claimed to the squad in new york that he got back… “that’s unfortunate”, he says, when he learns she doesn't have it. did he PLANT IT ON HER?? is that what the beeping was? do cassettes beep on metal detectors? i had some as a kid, i just remember feelings of plastic when holding them <-op was NOT onto something here

upon leaving, she is confused about the thingy beeping again. “you wearing a necklace or something?”, asks the security man. “no, not today”, and...... OH.... THE VISUAL INDICATOR THAT SHE HAS LOST ALL FAITH IN THE FORM OF HER CROSS NECKLACE BEING ABSENT. AUGHHHH TEARING MY SHIRT. ripping my hair out in grief. but that leaves the real question: what is in there?

she goes to the doctor, who looks at her neck. SOMETHING IS IN HER SKIN??? embedded in there. oh... it’s scarred over and they’re gonna pull it out, and i'm thinking i might gag if they show it, but thankfully they cut then. WHAT DID THEY DO TO HER IN ALIEN LAND????

back to the New Mexico cam!!! mulder progress!! three days of chanting and he is asking for water!! good news. 

back to D.C. no extraction scene visible, thank god. COMPUTER CHIP???? IN HER NECK??? did they microchip her... so they can track her location... or is it some sort of coded information... oh this is soooo evil

back talking with melissa!!!! my witchy best friend!!! melissa wants scully to unpack her memories, but can you blame her for NOT wanting to do that?? does reliving alien testing sound fun to you??? but, despite her reservations, she goes to a hypnotherapist anyway because she is a good sister and melissa played the "please? for me?" card

(damn, this show sure has a lot of hypnotherapy. it’s funny because i have never encountered it at all outside of this show. maybe it was the big thing at the time? and they wanted to be cool and trendy?)

but we’re back now, in repressed memory town, circa the Duane Barry era. regarding whoever was conducting the tests on her, she says she couldn’t resist them. hey what does THAT mean!!!

things look close to getting revealed when she says it’s time to go. like i said, i can imagine this is probably top ten worst sensations of all time.

so she drives back home and skinner is there??? HUH???? she looks sooooo gagged. and i was too.

(tell me why. oh god this is awful. tell me why my first reaction was “she must be going back to her mom's place... and he’s dating scully’s mom”) (cue the "i'm going to start dating her HARDER" scene from the office)

back in New Mexico. to end the ceremony, mulder must not do any work, change clothes, or bathe for 4 days. PLEASE DO THIS THING MY FRIEND. the boys give him a pouch for sunflower seeds, which he asked for during the worst of his fevers. the sunflower seeds... that when he heard them as a kid, reminded him he was not the last person in the universe... my sweet babygirl, who is a grown man breaking many many laws... glad to have you back in our world

albert shares that he went to the origin place, so overall, this mission seems to have been a success. so please, mulder, do NOT screw this up!!! sit in a hotel room and eat your seeds in your dirty clothes just do NOT break the rules of the ceremony that just saved your life.

scully calls skinner, asking why he was at her place, and he denies ever being at her apartment. BUT cig man is sitting right in front of him soooo it wouldn't have been a good time to talk anyway...

mulder is monologuing into the abyss, as he has found a way to infiltrate scully’s dreams!! very impressive!!

cutscene to his father’s his funeral. scully is there. because she is fundamentally good. she hasn’t met his mother before, right? i recall thinking earlier their first exchange might not go well, because of the whole sacrificed the “sister” for her in the hostage exchange deal thing...

but it actually goes as well as a first meeting a funeral can go. and without citing her prophetic dreams, scully tells her that she has a strong feeling he will be found. scully engaging in the supernatural...? are her sisters words ringing in her ear? or does she interpret a prophetic message dream as a message from the subconscious. i don't even think she knows.

meanwhile, a suspicious man watches this. he wants to talk to her away from the others. he makes some vague sort of reference to the UN league of alien safeguarding, and he says with confidence that mulder is dead.

AND THEN HE STARTS DESCRIBING HOW SHE WILL BE MURDERED???? okay could we GET any more unsettling. survey is saying no. anyway, she will be murdered with either with an unregistered weapon and people who will be out of the country right after the crime has been committed, or by someone she trusts visiting her house. uh oh… skinner looking sus

she asks why she is worth killing: "you want something they don’t- justice” hmm. many such cases in american history.

this guy claims to be tipping her off because his colleagues are acting “impulsively” and her death would just draw attention to them. i mean they have already killed like, 3 people if you count presumed dead mulder, but maybe one more would really push it over the edge?

mulder’s mom comes home. AND HE’S THERE!!!! in different clothes. 4 days had best have passed. i refuse to contemplate that he violated the terms of the ceremony.

okay, back from the dead, and he is interrogating his mom about his dad. she is not answering any questions- does she truly not remember or is she just deflecting... she wants to know what the deal is, and he grabs a gun and says it has to do with samantha. and leaves ominously. that man sure does want to make a dramatic exit.

missy wants to come over (scully calls her sister missy!), and she says to come over. but then someone immediately calls and hangs up- a universal sign of danger, as scully knows. she tries to call missy back, but she doesn't pick up the phone. so she calls back and she says she’ll go over to missy's place instead. the air is very very tense. something is about to go down. but what? 

running to her car. and IT'S SKINNER? he says to get in the car. scully goes in anyway but is very clearly suspicious he’ll kill her. AND SHE PULLS THE GUN ON HIM WHEN THEY GET TO MULDER'S PLACE!

“don’t turn around, or I’ll blow your head off” TEAAA! let out some of that rage i was earlier commenting was so well managed.

“don’t think I won’t do it, you son of a bitch” “no, I believe you” <- LMAOOOO he knows she is NOT messing around. and he does everything she asks of him, even sitting on his hands.

NOOOOO MELISSA GOES TO SCULLY'S PLACE AND KRYCHEK SHOOTS HER????? WHAAAAAAAAAAT???? he looks down and realizes it isn't scully, so he tells his companion that they should just leave. absolutely useless flop of a man. how did he even get into the FBI. maybe they'll just take anyone.

back to mulder's place. skinner claims he has the tape, and that he took it from mulder's desk. then why would he have sent her on the fool's errand of trying to find it? and now they BOTH have guns drawn on each other… as someone approaches the door…. presumably mulder coming home???

OHHHHHH this is the first time i have wanted to drop absolutely EVERYTHING and go straight into the next episode, writeup be damned. AUGHHH. what about melissa!!!!!! please let her make it PLEASE I CAN’T WATCH SCULLY ENDURE THIS!!!! can you imagine if she walks in the door and sees her sister bleeding out... hopefully krychek was too much of a failure to even land a lethal wound.

and honestly, from the moment I laid eyes on Krychek way back in s2, so long ago, i KNEW that he was a fucking rat. like. evil evil evil. idk how they’re gonna try and make me like him again if they decide to keep him on as a recurring character, but i truly do NOT give a fuck about what sort of backstory they come up with for him. i’m choosing anger over healing here. 

i’m that guy by the cork board pinning things with string and smoking a cigarette until all the things line up because truly WHAT is going on!!!! 

really great episode; the pacing and suspense were fantastic, i feel pumped to start a new season, i have a million questions but in an exciting rather than an overwhelming way, skinner you are once again on thin ice!!!

[soberfructosecornsyrup]

X-Files, Season 1, Episode 20: Darkness Falls

I shit you not, this episode opens with the eagle noise lmaoooo .This show is after my heart.

Night bees? I hope it's night bees.

Being lost in the forrest at night terrifies me. What's even more wild, Blair Witch Project did not scare me in the least bit. I hated that fucking movie.

This Steve fellow looked familiar, but I didn't know where I saw him from so I googled it, and he's been in a bunch of SVU episodes. While typing this, I was thinking "Maybe I should do this with SVU" But there's 539 episodes and counting...nah I'm good on that. I've seen everyepisode though.

Another eagle noise, I'm starting to think I'm hallucinating them now.

They are touching this cocoon with no gloves. I would be throwing up and crying touching a corpse cocoon.

Another eagle noise lol. I should probably figure out what it's actually called.

The way Steve is hurling around monkey wrenchers makes it seem like a slur.

Sometimes I wonder if I could hotwire a car.

RIP Steve, being eaten by glowing bugs.

The large denim shirt/vest combo Scully is wearing is peak 90's fashion. Shit is atrocious.

Homie came back, good for him.

And fell victim to his own traps lol dummy

And now his ass is dead too.

And they're saved by men in white hazmat suits...

Mulder got some ashy ass lips.

This episode was alright, kind of a weak ending though.

Next will be Tooms, looks like our boy from Squeeze is back.

[unremarkablehouse]

What happens in Kroner

M15+ | S6 after Rain King |AO3

Summary: Part 1 of my new series. Mulder and Scully wake up together on their last day in Kroner and decide to test the boundaries of their relationship.

@today-in-fic

Sunlight peeking through the broken venetian blinds was a welcomed omen for Scully, who had been lying in bed waiting for a sign that this limbo would soon be over. The weather was clear and finally they’d be on the first puddle jumper out of Kroner, Kansas. Mulder casually rolled over to face her, groaning as his body surrendered to waking up, grumbling a ‘morning’ to a very awake Scully. The anxiety of sharing a bed with her partner was enough to keep her from falling into a deep sleep the night before and the noise from the other motel guests returning from the reunion didn’t help the matter. Somehow Mulder managed to block all of this out and fall into a deep sleep, while Scully watched his sleeping form with envy.

“Mulder, do you realize you say my name in your sleep?” Scully’s tone is inquisitive, and although Mulder knows he should feel some sort of embarrassment, he’s tired of this dance and is ready to lay his cards on the table.

“Actually, you’re not the first one to tell me this.”

Scully lifts her eyebrow, wanting to know what other bedfellows he’s had and surprised to hear that this is an established pattern.

“Just from the guys, oh and Skinner-“ Mulder answers.

At the thought of Skinner saying something Scully shakes her head and pinches the bridge of her nose while Mulder continues to dig a deeper hole.

“Good thing I don’t have a more active social life or my sleep talking could get me in trouble.”

“Good thing.”

The room is starting to feel more charged and Scully takes this casual comment as confirmation that Diana hasn’t been participating in any adult sleepovers. Tenderly brushing hair out of her face Mulder scoots up to make sure they’re face to face, they both know the intimacy they’re enjoying is stolen, but it doesn’t stop them from reveling in it any less. Mulder attempts to break the mounting tension by continuing his ramble.

“I guess saying your name in my sleep would probably be no less awkward than if I were to call you before bed.”

“Mulder, why would you call me if you’re in bed with another woman?”

“I always talk to you before I go to sleep-“ Mulder’s countenance is so earnest that Scully’s heart swoons with his admission. Her hand finds it’s way into his hair and she’s unable to resist scratching the hairs on the back of his neck. “I think the subconscious talking you could probably play off but the conscious choice to call me before bed would be a deal breaker for any sane woman.”

Mulder gives a laugh, “very true. I’d also have to explain why they’re getting introduced to your mother before mine.”

“What?!”

“Every time we talk Maggie asks me if there’s someone special and has made me promises to introduce her-“

“Oh God-“

The realization that her mother has been subjecting Mulder to the same interrogations over his love life is mortifying. Scully rolls onto her back and covers her face, cringing at the thought.

“Scully, now you know the real reason I’ve been single for so long. It’s not just because all womankind have unanimously decided I should be alone, but I am actually scared about introducing anyone to your mother.”

Scully can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all, Mulder’s soft chuckle harmonizing nicely with hers.

“Welcome to the club. Your instincts are right, she is the worst to introduce any dates too.”

“Is this because of what happened when she met Marcus?”

Scully stops dead still at the mention of this particular anecdote, which she knows for a fact she’s never shared with Mulder.

“Mulder, just how often are you talking with my mother?”

Feeling a little defensive, Mulder quickly retorts “a normal amount!” Scully says nothing but her raised eyebrows challenge his statement loudly enough.

“Seriously, it’s not like we chat. We just talk because I call her whenever something happens to you, and she also checks in every once in a while if she hasn’t heard from me.”

“That’s the definition of chatting!” Scully is bemused by the discovery of Mulder’s relationship with her mother. Just when she thinks she has this man pegged he comes out with some new endearing facet that makes her love him just a tiny bit more. “At least you know she approves of you.”

Mulder unconsciously twines their fingers together and smiles at her.

“I wouldn’t say she approves of me. Just because I’m her adopted problem child, doesn’t mean she thinks I’m good enough for her daughter.”

“Trust me, my mother adores you.”

“You’re telling me that the very Catholic Margret Scully would be ok with us being a couple? I’m not buying it.”

“Ask her next time you chat-”

“We don’t chat!”

Scully can’t help laughing at Mulder’s exaggerated frustration.

“On that note, I’m going to shower now. You should probably avert your eyes. From my casual exterior it might seem like I haven’t noticed I’m in bed with a beautiful woman, but my body definitely knows.”

“It’s a perfectly natural physiological response Mulder. So you have little nocturnal penile tumescence.” Scully’s tone sounds unaffected but her smarmy dig doesn’t go undetected.

“Little! I’m not going to take that lying down!” Before Scully can move away Mulder has her pinned down and is tickling her ribs while Scully squirms and squeals. It only

takes a few moments before Scully demands a truce, Mulder yields satisfied his point has been made. They both stop and catch their breathe, staring at each other and shaking of the tail end of laughter. After a pause Mulder’s face suddenly turns serious as if he’s remembered something of vital importance. This is a look Scully has seen many times and assumes he will be darting out of the room any second with some vague statement, off to find monsters or chase his latest crazed theory. Instead, Mulder slowly leans over and gently places a soft, chaste kiss on Scully’s lips, retreating quickly with a sheepish smile.

“What was that for?”

Scully is surprised by this sudden move but can feel a big smile on her face, mirroring Mulder’s grin.

“I just realized we’re flying out of here in a tin can. If we go down I don’t want Sheila to be the last person I kissed.”

Scully chuckles, “well in that case.” Her hand moves to the back of Mulder’s head, he takes the signal and lets her pull him in for another kiss. The kiss is slow and tenuous but definitely less chaste. Her hands move to his cheek as the kiss deepens, while Mulder’s hand slowly strokes her hair. It is not the frenzied passionate kiss she thought they’d share when they finally submitted to their feelings but there is a gravity to this kiss that anchors them to each other with an enormity that feels all consuming. What was meant as a simple kiss has turned into one of their conversations, each taking turns to lead while the other remains fully engaged. Despite its long duration, there have been no attempts to progress things further on either side, both content to stay in the shallows of this first step but unwilling to pull away or stop.

Always in sync they finally pull back at the same time, fear and trepidation thick in the air, neither sure what to make of this turn of events. Finally, Scully looks Mulder in the eyes, she can see he shares the same fears and concerns, conflicting with want and she’s emboldened by this realization.

“What happens in Kroner stays in Kroner?”

With a huge smile Mulder agrees and moves his head back down to continue kissing her at their previously established slow and luxurious rate. He’s caught off guard when he feels Scully’s foot guiding up his calf and hooking him in so he’s forced to move closer. Mulder’s restraint snaps as he’s pulled in to Scully’s body. His tongue thrusts into her mouth while his body grinds against hers. Their hands rub and pull on each other, dying to get closer, losing themselves in each other. Each roll of Mulder’s pelvis is met by Scully’s, their bodies connected in some primal dance. Mulder’s body heat permeates through Scully as the friction overwhelms her senses. This isn’t a high school make out session, their bodies have become an extension of one another and Scully soon finds herself climbing towards release. Intuitively Mulder’s body responds to hers as he thrusts and grinds with just the right pressure to send her soaring over the edge. As her orgasm begins to engulf her, Scully pulls away from his lips, resting her forehead on his while she unravels. Before Mulder can follow suit an ominous chirping sound resonates through the room and breaks the spell. Realizing it’s Scully’s cell phone, Mulder rolls off her so she can answer it. Scully answers her phone, and he can’t help but smile to hear her voice is still affected and she sounds slightly out of breath. The call is brief and she passes on the confirmation that their flight out of Korna is scheduled to leave at 10. The phone call is like a bucket of ice water on them, each unsure how to proceed. Mulder makes the first move and gets out of bed heading for the shower, offering Scully a high five on the way. She obliged but rolls her eyes as she does it.

When Mulder reaches the bathroom door Scully calls out, “Mulder-“

“Yeah?”

“I was wrong.”

The statement hangs in the air for an eternity and Mulder panics that Scully might be regretting their earlier indiscretion. Scully sees his tortured face and laughs, clarifying her statement, “you’re definitely not little.”

Mulder has no response to this, Scully got him good. The best he can do is throw his tshirt at her face, shaking his head in amusement.

Now he just needs to work out how to make this all happen again outside of Korner.