#*paul voice* promise me you'll think about the implications (saf meta)

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OKOK LAST POST FOR THE NIGHT I PROMMY BUT all this spytown talk has me thinking about the hadestown alt ending they did for when reeve left, but in the context of spies are forever... like for one night... curt doesn't shoot owen and they get to leave together... how would that even play out??? would it be tatiana, cynthia, barb, etc., showing up to give them permission to leave???

but then think about it- in hadestown, when orpheus and eurydice are told they get to leave, they've just made peace with each other again and promised to love each other and are ready to go home together... but how would owen and curt react to this news?

curt would at least be a little bit pleased, surely. we know from watching him in the scene that he doesn't want to have to do this, but... would he really trust owen enough to walk out hand in hand with him? and what about owen? would be even be ABLE to put aside his beliefs, his mission, his distrust, his bitterness, his need for revenge- long enough to just walk away? and walk away with curt?

i mean, you hope to god he would. what's the point otherwise? but- could you imagine?

sitting in the audience at, let's say, spies live in the uk, watching this infamous scene, when right towards the end, right as owen finishes singing his reprise, the rest of the cast comes out to tell the two of them, and the audience, that they get to leave together.

could you imagine, then, the feeling going through you, as you realize, this is it? all those fanfictions, all those analysis posts, all those daydreams about what could have been- about to play out right before your very eyes?

and- could you imagine- if after all that, they wouldn't go? if curt and owen refused to leave? if that final gunshot ran out and the show proceeded as normal, no differences, nothing at all to suggest anything was ever going to change in the first place, but-

you know. you know the chance was there. and you now know that no matter the circumstances, no matter the monologue or ballad, no matter what hypotheticals all our brains could come up with to possibly change what's canon and true- you now know that if given the chance, they'd say no?

i mean, you hope to god they wouldn't. what's the point otherwise? but- could you imagine?

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the hottest saf take i've dropped in a while but whenever we discuss how we think mrs. mega would react to curt being gay i'm usually like yeah obviously she'd be so accepting especially because she's gay and in love with cynthia because that's the canon i tend to write from. but if we're talking like. CANON canon. and doing what is most likely considering the time period and such. most people go nope she would be homophobic and kick him out unfortunately :(. and maybe it's just me being an idealist but i don't think that's true either. i mean looking at canon and seeing how she reacts to the fact that curt has a license to kill. no i don't think she'd kick him out. but no i don't think she'd accept without blinking either. honestly the best i can explain how i imagine The Talk going is almost word-for-word the combined scene of the songs See Me and Warning from Bare: A Pop Opera. like. exactly how i picture it going down fr.

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Spies Are Forever: yeah ok so basically, Owen fell down this huge flight of stairs in an abandoned weapons facility that was then blown up, but he's totally fine afterwards, don't worry about it-

Me, rubbing my grubby little disabled hands together:

low-key inspired by @the-warmesthello 's headcanon posts 👀

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Things that keep me up at night about Spies Are Forever: The fact that, in Act 2 Part 4, Owen could literally sniff the air and tell from that alone that there was a traitor in the room. I feel like we don’t talk about that enough. What the heck @ Owen 

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headcanon that the informant is autistic and when they were first on the field they would end up subconsciously mimicking the accents of people around them because of echolalia, and cynthia was just like "holy shit a master of disguise that can blend in with their surroundings and adopt any accent. incredible. have a raise." (this extends to susan too with the "YOU GOTTA"s).

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thinking about how once curt starts treating barb a bit better and they become closer and are just peak adhd/autism solidarity so here's some Thoughts on neurodivergent spies (also ignore that half of these terms didn't exist back then it's fine shhh):

barb swaying on her feet and twirling her hair infodumping about technology and curt gets all excited and starts stamping his feet and talking about spy history

sometimes they'll have sessions where one of them just infodumps for a long-ass time while the other listens but sometimes their interests connect and they just. lose it. like curt is talking about ways to make learning languages easier and barb's like what if there was a device to automatically translate things for you and curt goes HOLY SHIT.

curt will pull barb aside sometimes and be like "does cynthia hate me or is it just the rsd" and barb's like "i thought you were into me for years do you think i understand social cues any better than you do???"

"hey curt i was talking with tatiana and telling her about this thing i do but she said most people don't do that. is this a Symptom?" "nah i do that all the time!" "oh god it IS a Symptom then."

barb. inventing. new stim toys. and curt gets to test them out first!!!

going out to dinner and barb being like "oh uhhhh-" because there's nothing there she can eat because Texture y'know but curt Gets It and just immediately is like "hey can we go somewhere else i don't really wanna eat here" so she doesn't have to say anything

curt gets injured all the time obviously and always hates certain bandages because Sticky Scratchy Texture y'know and barb just casually one day is like "i made a new type of bandage for you :)" and curt almost breaks down crying.

barb getting overstimulated sometimes from listening to all the noise happening during a mission while she's on call with them so curt sets up a way for them to just message on the watch so that when she needs it he can mute his microphone for her

owen asking barb questions to make sure he's understanding and treating curt properly. and curt finds out and is so touched.

owen being like "i'm glad you guys have each other but idk. i don't want to be mean at all but you guys always talk about shit that's supposed to be a symptom of neurodivergency but i mean i've experienced most of those things for my entire life and i'm neurotypical." "......you what." "oh god owen..."

owen "if i don't click my gun three times before each mission then Something Bad will happen idk what but i Can't start this mission until i've read this case file three times because three is a Good Number but that's all totally normal right" carvour going "i don't have ocd what are you talking about" "yes bud you do"

curt starts consciously setting aside time before missions for owen to compete any ritual he needs to feel comfortable

owen's very embarrassed by it at first but one day curt goes "hey. if three is the big number, then i better give you three kisses right?"

owen blushes very hard and refuses to admit it

they tell tatiana later and this prompts a bunch of friendly teasing because "how could you not realize that carvour lol. anyways can someone help me file this case file i'm not good with reading." "what do you mean?" "oh you know when you're trying to read and the letters are just floating around?"

"....tatiana."

curt and tatiana as dyscalculia/dyslexia buddies that help each other out. tatiana will help curt with math and curt helps tatiana with reading and writing, and it works out really well bc tatiana likes math and curt likes reading and writing <3

the Squad is having a conversation one day and the informant keeps clearing their throat. and everyone is just like "hey. you uh. you need a lozenge bro? you good? you need water? you need a cough drop? are you okay?" and everytime he's like "yes im fine haha don't worry about it"

but stuff like that Keeps happening

the gang chalk it up to just another quirky thing abt them until the informant gets really stressed out one day and is just clearing their throat Again and Again

this master of disguise has tourettes babeyyy

when they're in situations where she has to be quiet, she's just sitting there desperately holding her tics in. and the minute the mission is over, before they go out to celebrate they sit in the car for a minute and let the informant get everything out of their system

sometimes when he's in a crowd and the informant's ticcing is bad enough that he starts getting self conscious, everyone else just starts helping him cover them up

the informant, ticcing: "are you SURE this isn't annoying?" curt, playing with a very loud and squeaky tangle fidget toy: "i gotta be real with you i literally didn't even notice man."

it's not something they really talk about with anyone besides each other. but one day, without saying anything, they show up to an agency meeting and cynthia just goes "susan?" and susan brings out a little bowl of stim toys and just. sets them in the middle of the table.

everyone just casually grabs one throughout the meeting. cynthia does not address this but sue enough. every meeting afterwards there is always a bowl on the table.

"cynthia, may i ask-" "susan, when mega is playing with a fucking stretchy worm he is more focused on what i have to say than i have ever seen him. we are keeping them." "understood."

"....hey cynthia, can i-" "sure, take your pick susan."

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also. constantly thinking about the fact that curtwen is canon. tatiana and curt are not a couple. curt is canonically gay. like i keep thinking abt the show and half-reminding myself that this shit isn't canon but like. it is. it's not projection, it's not shipping, it's not fans reading into things... agent curt mega is a canonically gay main character in a musical who was canonically in love with his partner and canonically does not get with either of his possible female love interests. tcb really does spoil us. how does this show have better gay rep than half the shit on broadway? screaming crying etc.

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Curt, at a party: hey wanna see something cool

Owen: curt i swear to fucking god

Barb: yeah sure! :)

Owen: curt i will leave you i'm not joking

Curt: alright everybody watch!!

Owen: i have the divorce papers in my hand-

Curt: *cracks both his shoulders then twists his left foot all the way around*

Owen:

IM BACK WITH A HEADCANON BABEY!!!!!

i love just doing random things and out of nowhere being like. what if it was curtwen,,,,, that being said..

curt’s the type of person to crack Every bone in his body as loud as he possibly can, just Because he can. dude has a whole routine for it too (yknow how some people do that? yeah.) and he can crack things that probably Shouldn’t be cracked.. sometimes it’s bc whatever it is has been broken before,, other times it’s just. something he figured out he could do over time.. some examples: he can crack his ears, his nose, And his sternum.. (i can only do 2 of those lol) but yeah. cracking his bones is like the Opposite of his thing w blood.. that being said he’s probably double jointed in at Least one way, too. (bets on elbows. he seems like he’d have weird elbows)

owen, on the other hand, can’t fucking Stand cracking anything unless he Has to. like if his back needs to crack, he’ll crack it,, but he Hates the sound of it. he doesn’t even crack his knuckles bc of it. he just lets them pop naturally. curt has to let him know when he’s gonna do his whole thing so owen can shove his face in a pillow or something so he doesn’t hear it. it’s one of those things curt purposefully annoys him with sometimes lol..

post-canon is when everything kinda Flips (keeping owen Alive ofc,, so after all the events of the show).

owen has been legit broken so much by then that no matter what he does, his bones make noise. he’s gotten used to it by now, only bc he’s Had to, but now curt’s the one who cringes every time he hears a pop (lingering guilt, yknow). he still does his whole routine crack thing, just bc it’s habit and his body has gotten too used to it for him to stop, but it doesn’t make him feel as good as it used to..

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Anyway it's 2022 and I am obsessing over the idea of a Spies Are Forever prequel in the style of The Last Five Years.

So for those of you that aren't familiar, The Last Five Years tells the story of the relationship between two characters, Jamie and Cathy. Both tell their point of view of the relationship using solo numbers, and the couple only sings together for one song directly in the middle. Cathy's POV starts with their breakup and goes backwards in time. Jamie's POV starts at the beginning of their relationship and goes forward in time. Their timelines meet once, for their wedding, when they duet. Basically, it looks like this:

It's a BRILLIANT plot device and makes for a really cool storytelling format. But I am going INSANE thinking about the implications of a Curtwen prequel in this style.

The show opens with Owen laying on the ground in the Russian Weapons Facility we see at the start of SAF. Right away, you know what's coming. You know how this ends. But immediately after, we see Curt at the beginning of their relationship, happy and confident and so in love, and the contrast... It hurts.

In The Last Five Years, Cathy and Jamie's timelines meet when they get married, before continuing in opposite directions. But ofc, they're telling the story of a straight couple in the modern day, and obviously Curtwen would have a very different dynamic. I'm thinking their "in the middle" moment would be better suited for when they confess their feelings & become a couple, which could definitely make for a great duet, especially when including the context of the time period and Executive Order 10450.

I think it would make for a perfect SAF prequel by giving us the history of Curtwen's relationship, but by having each lead narrate their own side of the story using solos, we would also get incredible insight into their characters and lives pre-canon, making Curt and Owen even more compelling than they already are in SAF. And, by ending with the events of the Russian Weapons Facility, the prequel's end would lead us right into the main show.

Oh. And one more thing-

Owen's first song, the show opening, would be a cover of The Coldest Goodbye.

And Owen's last song, the show finale, would be called The Warmest Hello.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

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@owen-not-carvour 's reply to my tags encouraged me so screw it I'm making this a post

Barb Larvernor is autistic and here's why

Trouble picking up on social cues- She keeps pursuing Curt despite him making it fairly obvious that he's not interested:

Special interest in science and technology. She infodumps about this multiple times throughout the show, even when it's not a good time or others are clearly disinterested:

Exaggerated body language and lack of personal boundaries:

Trouble understanding jokes (though in all fairness Curt also just makes weird jokes lmao):

Mimicking others behaviors/taking social cues from others:

Stimming:

So yeah, tl;dr we love and support autistic women in STEM. 👍

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SO DOES ANYONE ELSE AGONIZE OVER THIS ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS.

Because on the one hand, Cynthia is literally the head of A.S.S. and in touch with the presidents and other main government and oversees national affairs. So in stories where the whole point is all agencies are bad and Curt and Owen were just being used, Cynthia would be a very very bad person.

But on the other hand... SHE'S MY BLORBO AND I LOVE HER AND I DON'T WANT HER TO BE BAD.

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AGJBXSA ACCURATE

love how we heard the phrase "think about the implications" once and ran with it. we must always think about the implications.

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I'm not sure if anyone's posted about this already, but I noticed something new when rewatching SAF today! So we know Vanger is canonically gay (thanks to the SAF commentary if I'm not mistaken?) but I only just made the connection when I was watching We Love The Prince...

Historically, green carnations on the lapel are used to indicate a gay man (after Oscar Wilde). Not 100% sure this was intentional, but an AWESOME detail either way.

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Feral Owen

So obviously I love the idea of Curt and Owen going home together after the staircase incident and learning to heal and forgive each other, and Owen softening and becoming more like he used to be.

BUT. I have to admit I'm also partial to Owen being dragged away kicking and screaming, tied to a chair in Curt's house, with Curt being like "I missed u sm I'm so sorry baby" and Owen just trying to bite him.

And obviously he eventually calms down some, but he's still this little gremlin human being who occasionally will just whip out a knife in the middle of a party because he lost a board game and Curt's like "no honey cmon we talked about this <3 what are our breathing exercises? :)" while Owen is staring-down whoever won.

Like The Squad is hanging out and Owen is basically just listing medieval torture methods and Tatiana's like "uhhhhh Curt?" and Curt's like ":) he's been reading! we went to the library yesterday as a reward because he only tried to stab me once on Sunday, isn't that right honey? <3"

Everytime Barb sees them it's basically the equivalent of the "GET YO FUCKIN DOG BITCH" "it don't bite :)" "YES IT DO" vine

And everyone at A.S.S. is gossiping trying to figure out what's going on, like "Isn't that Agent Carvour from MI6? Didn't he die like four years ago???" "Why the fuck does he have a job here this is the ninth time this week that he's punched a wall in" "Idk man everytime I try to ask Agent Mega he gets really defensive"

And Owen like. Actively hates Curt and is still constantly trying to kill him. And Curt's just. Used to it. He turns around and there's a gun to his head and he's like "Owen come on now :( we're at work and I need you to be a little more professional baby. This is important to me ok? I'm sorry but I think we're going to have to cancel dinner plans for tonight. Well I can't just let this pass without consequences honey. Maybe if you give me the gun now and sit down we can go there Tuesday night? No baby I'm not mad at you I still love you, we just need to work on this is all <3 :) <3"

While Barb, Tatiana, and everyone else just watch in utter confusion

They'll sit in restaurants and Curt will hit him with the:

And Owen rips the paper out of Curt's hand and just fucking eats it. And Curt rolls his eyes and is like "let me get another sheet so i can draw it again. you're so silly"

Sometimes Curt just sits at his job filling out paperwork while Owen sits next to him muttering furiously "I hate you so much I'm going to fucking kill you when my Chimera friends gets here they're going to kick your ass and I'm going to torture you so bad you'll be screaming for mercy" and Curt's like "mhm mhm. hey honey can you pass me the stapler please?" ".......here."

One day, some A.S.S. agents are gossiping and one of them is like "I can't believe Cynthia hired Mega back he's so incompetent if I were Carvour I'd wanna kill him too lmao" and in the blink of an eye Owen is holding the person in a chokehold like "SAY THAT AGAIN SAY THAT SHIT AGAIN I DARE YOU YOU BLOODY IDIOT YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT CURT LIKE THAT HE IS A GENIUS AND AN INCREDIBLE SPY YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE HIS LIST OF FLAWS IS SHORTER THAN YOUR DICK"

Then Curt walks out of his little office and just starts petting Owen's hair like "shh it's okay baby let's just calm down and sit ok?" "HE CALLED YOU INCOMPETENT" "i know honey it's ok just let him go and we can take a break and read more of that book you like. yeah? would that be good bud? :)" "I WANT TO KILL HIM" "shh i know i know. what are our breathing exercises honey?"

Later when they're sitting down Owen's like "...you're not incompetent. i still wanna kill you though you're a fucking bastard and im gonna tear you limb from limb and my Chimera friends are gonna hang your innards up in the white house" "mhm" "but only i get to do that ok? not some jerk coworker of yours" "uh huh" "if anyone's mean to you like that you have to tell me so i can kill them" "ok sweetheart. is your pasta good? do i need to ask for more parmesan?" "....it's good." "ok good i'm glad <3"

Basically Curt taking one look at Owen and saying "I can fix him :)" while everyone else goes "........are you sure???" and Curt clears his throat and says "I SAID I CAN FIX HIM :) "

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revisiting notes from my creative writing class and going insane over karpman's drama triangle in the context of curtwen bc their positions constantly change depending on the time........

Pre-canon/in the opening number-

Curt as the persecutor

Owen as the rescuer

During the four years/bulk of the show-

Curt as the victim

Owen as the persecutor

The Staircase Scene (and beyond)-

Curt as the rescuer

Owen as the victim

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So I've seen a lot of people point out that Owen is a Welsh name, and headcanoning him as Welsh because of that, so I've been thinking about Welsh Owen. But I've been thinking about WELSH Owen.

Give me young Owen that grows up poor and tired and angry in Southern Wales, that joins the government hoping to change things. Give me Owen that didn't learn Welsh in school, that tries to hide his accent from other agents in MI6 because he's sick of hearing them laughing in the background. Give me gay Welsh Owen that knows all too well that "Everybody likes to do the watching, but no one likes to be watched."

Give me proud Owen that gets into arguments about workers rights with people and shows up to missions with a black eye to a very concerned Curt. Give me Owen explaining his childhood to Curt, and Curt not understanding at all but sure as hell trying to support his partner the best he can.

Give me Owen deciding to get in touch with his culture no matter how much it hurts sometimes, who's learning Welsh as an adult, and sneaking phrases into conversation when they're alone- usually insults and swears. Give me Owen that calls Curt cariad and tells him it means bastard. Give me Curt that finds out what cariad really means and stays up all night thinking about it.

Give me Owen that was never on the side of MI6, that bit his tongue everytime his boss spoke, that did his best to keep his head down because it will all be worth it if he can change things. Give me Owen that one day realizes he's considered the best spy in MI6 and yet nothing's changed. All he's done is become one of them.

Give me Owen waking up after the fall and feeling no surprise that he's been abandoned, that his agency has assumed him dead without even trying to look for him. Give me Owen receiving an offer from Chimera, and feeling no loyalty towards the agency he's leaving behind.

Give me Owen that's going to destroy agencies and governments and secrets that have done nothing but hurt everyone he knows. Give me Owen that's convinced he's going to create a better world, no matter what it takes. Even if it kills him.