#*me. they were like 'even if she ISNT lying you arent allowed to do this and she needs to install an assistive device in her home'

[lunar-fey]

weight lifted off of my shoulders the problem client is, as it turns out, a problem, and did in fact lie to me about a bunch of shit. and i told my employers what the client told me and they got Big Fucking Mad (at her not me) and said they were already going to her house today anyway and theyre gonna talk to her abt some of the shit she said to me + after this week (or maybe the next bc i feel bad abt having to drop this client So Fast but mornings fuck w me and i was HOPIN itd work out but i really should never have agreed to a morning shift to begin with so i said if fhey cant find anyone to take the shift by the end of this week ill do next week.) but after that for sure ill be free of her 😌

unfortunately this does mean that i will only be scheduled 10hr/week until they have another client that wants caretaking in the afternoon. but it should still be enough to meet my basic needs and pay bills. + the one client id be working at that point is super nice nd doesnt have much work for me to do most days (i only worked one so far and yeah he had nothing to do i just cleaned up dog shit and then watched tv with him for an hour and a half) so itll actual ly be a really nice job at that point. just would like a little more money but What Can You Do

[selamat-linting]

hm, i should talk about religion again.

when i was in highschool, we were going over our islamic religious studies, and my friend, he was sort of a debate kid but not really, in that he love questioning things about commonly agreed prejudices and beliefs, and have the class debate things, but then turns out he wasnt disagreeing with it, he has his reasons on agreeing with the religion but he just wants people to think. which is yeah, a bit annoying, but im eternally grateful for what he did because it did make turn out to be a better person.

anyway, he was doing his thing in class, asking why are guys arent allowed to wear their trousers over the ankle. the boys ended up saying its confusing. with girls, there's a clear reason why they should cover up, their bodies are inherently seen as sexual for men, and women who dont dress modestly gets sexually harrassed. i know its sexist, but here me out okay? to their eyes, men's ankles aren't sexual, there are no immediate benefits in hiding ankles and covering up everything below the belly button to the knees. its just a hindrance. small enough to not think off most of the time, but its just, not rational. isnt everything we do in the name of religion serve a purpose? my friend the debate kid says, its not just serving a purpose, its also obedience. and its just as important to follow things that makes no sense nor benefit anybody just because that is your god and its what he told you to do. its a small example, but yknow, things like this, this is the kind of stuff that justify hate crimes and shit. if a women's meant to go to hell simply because she's not wearing a hijab even though its not hurting anybody, i have to accept thats the way things must be?! if a gay person have to live their life without experiencing any kind of love to be admitted to heaven, i have to accept that? even if what he did hurt no one? if neutering cats is haram even if an uncontrolled population of cats wreck the ecosystem i have to accept that? its like, if every single kind but non-muslim people go to hell then i have to proselytize them even if it requires abuse because obedience and faith comes first before taking care of the people and earth. im sorry but that is wrong. i cant accept a god like that. thats hypocritical. what is the point of worshipping a god, he needs nothing?! he doesnt feel deprived if i dont pray. isnt all of this obedience and prayers and rules are meant for our benefit and task to be caliphate of the earth and take care of everyone? something must have went wrong, there must some kind of corruption of messages down the line, i dont know, but this isnt what its supposed to be.

this kid is dead wrong. he must be. i still think he's wrong. its not about the hijab or the men's dress codes its about principle! that's not what a benevolent god would do, thats some christianity bullshit! demanding obedience just because is abusive. my god is different, he's kind and merciful and he kept his fucking word. he doesn't do that. its just the stupid teachings being poisoned by fundamentalist bigots and the West. but what if he's right? What if i've been lying to myself by saying that the love and trust promised by being a devout cannot be separated from blind obedience? what if its true that i do have to metaphorically lobotomize myself to be seen as worthy in the eyes of god? I admit things aren't adding up and it's confusing. what the fuck is wrong with me?

[isthisfilmnormal]

hi i will be reviewing recommended tiktok movies on their morality!

im starting with kamikaze girls today so

i found kamikaze girls extremely interesting because of the comedy aspect but also very emotionally manipulative. seeing edits on tiktok for two years and also starting to be interested in harajuku fashion i was thinking this might bring me a good step towards finding more about lewlita fashion. it did thematize it, in the beginning but it wasnt really much about that. that in itself isnt horrible. also it felt dissapointing in a way that ichigo wasnt in a subculture and rather a yanki, but thats also not really bad either. i will be putting the blame for that onto tiktok. you couldnt escape these edits alongside nana which i also find disturbing force down my personal throat.

so what is the movie about? it was dissapointingly more about the really bad relationship between the two protagonists. both arent good people and i would say ichigo is the more destructive part, not taking rejection seriously, being violent, telling momoko she will kill her. momoko is mainly fearing for her safety and running away from ichigo. since there is already horrible representation when it comes to wlw media (you could argue it isnt but im coming from the tiktok side that heavily romantizises this movie and their dynamic) it is not your cute little marceline x princess bubblegum (that are also last minute gays) real life dynamic ship.

ichigo is taking things that shes not allowed to take, making momoko gamble, insulting her and always forcing her to do things she doesnt like to do. they even, (menacingly), reference it in their own movie, completely glossing over how creepy that is. then were are collective getting guilttripped multiple times to forget ichigos actions which is barely getting meaningful since she never changes. she reminds me alot of life is strange‘s chloe.

momoko in itsself isnt someone it like to have as a friend since shes lying her ass of to get material things and does not believe in having any human connections, or valuing them. so when they end up together instead of splitting i felt very conflicted.

the most emotionally manipulative part of the movie is that these movies were very prevalent in the 2000s. unlikeable characters with abusive tendencies get to be the hero and it makes my throat feel clumped. the adam sandler style comedy is covering it up very well and the way the upsides are very good is whats making it reek underneath pretty badly. it makes sense why rdfms really like hyping up this movie with this maybe heteronormative, erasive pairing and the shallow social commentary.

sadly with alot of tiktok trends the ones that get the short end of the stick are minors that do not understand the implications and might take away from the movie that the person that is overly violent and is going around telling other people to die is just a cute romantic interest. girlbosses are not feminist.

[forestryfae]

"its even harder for us to fix the house since were doing it alone and she isnt helping" I HAVENT BEEN INVOLVED. I TRIED TALKING ABOUT IT AND I WAS SHUT DOWN AND DISMISSED. "well take care of everything, you have nothing to worry about" and then mom and stepdad proceeded to talk to eachother about shit im not being actively involved in, im not being informed of, im not allowed to have a say in, etc. with no further explanations or examples of what i can and cant fix at home by myself with no knowledge of house renovation.

"and its even harder for us since she doesnt do anything herself either" SHE WONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO. SHE WONT SHOW ME HOW TO DO IT. I HAVE MODERATE TO SEVERE DEPRESSION AND OCD AND ITS WEEKS/MONTHS BETWEEN EVERY TIME I TALK TO A PERSON, I PHYSICALLY CANT DO ANYTHING. EVEN LAUNDRY IS HARD.

"im going to talk to her dad and get him to contact a lawyer" I ALREADY TRIED THAT AND HE DIDNT DO SHIT. like we went to a meeting, he was told and said himself he was gonna do talk to a realtor, then two months later at the next meeting he said he "didnt see the point until weve renovated the house" and just didnt do that either

its like talking to two brick walls that arent interested in being there and doesnt actually want to help and purposefully sabotages me because they wanna do stuff their way because they know everything and their way is best and also dont tell you anything because it should be obvious and you should just know. on top of lying to everyone and saying they want to help and telling people theyre helping. and shutting down anything you say when you point out theyre not fucking helping, theyre just sitting on their asses waiting for things to suit them perfectly before theyre willing to do anything, expecting you to telepathically know everything.

like. i dont fucking know what im supposed to do at this point, everything that goes wrong because someone else said theyd do something then didnt do it is actually my fault because i expected them to do. literally what they said theyd do. its my fault things go wrong cus i shouldve known things i didnt know and i shouldve done something i didnt know i had to do, and i shouldnt be trusting people to do what they fucking said theyd do. thats my fault actually for putting too much trust in people who say and promise theyll help me.

god i fucking hate my mom shes such a bitch

[ladydevoir]

Weiss coming out as trans to her team?

The halls of Beacon were quiet as Weiss walked through, though she was glad for the peace as her mind was swimming in thought. She was silently dreading returning to her dorms, knowing what was waiting for her. But, she had decided tonight was the night, and she would not cower away from what she had decided to do. Best to get it over with rather than continuing to let her dread grow. Soon a voice broke her train of thought. “Hey Weiss~!” She looked back as the owner of the voice caught up to her, a plastic bag in hand. “Hello Nora, It’s good to see you. I see your trip to Vale was productive.” Nora beamed back at her with her usual energy. “Good to see you too~ And heck yeah it was~ Me and Ren found that cute coffee shop you told us about, Jaune actually managed to not throw up on the ride there, though he was wasnt as lucky on the way back, and me and Pyrrha went shopping for our dresses for the dance~ Oh, and here’s the stuff you wanted~” Nora held up the back for Weiss who took it and looked through it, a set of razors and shaving cream along with some skin care for after. “Thank you very much Nora. Im afraid I was starting to run low, and our team won’t be free to travel to Vale for a few days. Please, what do I owe you?” As she began to sift through her bag for her purse, Nora held up her hand. “Nuh uh uh, you dont owe me anything. Girls like us gotta stick together after all, and you’d do the same for me~” Nora’s usual high energy voice had softened as she spoke, to which Weiss was grateful. Since coming to Beacon she had been nervous about the truth coming out about her, thankfully Nora had seen through her immediately and been a true pillar of support. Weiss had been surprised and rather relieved when Nora had revealed she was just like her, and in moments like this it was wonderful to have someone to talk to and help her without any worry about questions she was not particularly wanting to answer. As if sensing some unease, Nora gently squeezed her shoulder and nodded her head towards a small bench in the hall. As the two sat down, Nora spoke up. “Hey, you doing ok? You seem off.” Weiss sighed and nodded. “I am just...nervous. I promised myself that tonight would be the night I tell the rest of my team, the truth about me.” Nora watched Weiss’s expression, seeing the build up of worry on her face. “You know the others aren’t going to suddenly turn on you just because of this, right? I cant imagine this would be a big deal for Ruby or Yang, and I doubt Blake would mind really.” Weiss let out another sigh and leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes before responding. “I am fully aware that no one on my team will be upset or treat me any different.” “So...whats the problem then?” Weiss looked down, her eyes darting left and right to make sure there was no one else listening, before she spoke. “When Blake accidentally revealed that she was a Faunus, I….did not handle the news with grace. I accused her of having lied to us, keeping the truth hidden from us. And while I did apologise for it afterwards, I still cannot take back what I said. And that is why I am worried. I was so quick to accuse her of lying and hiding the truth and yet here I am, having done the very same thing since starting Beacon.” Her hands gripped one another as she looked down, shaking slightly. “My standing with Blake and the others is not exactly on stable terms, and I am afraid that revealing myself after all I said to Blake might cause more strife between us.” Nora listened quietly as she gave Weiss’s back a gentle rub. Thinking carefully before responding. “If you’re this worried, then why now? Why not wait?” Weiss took a deep breath and looked straight ahead, as if steeling herself for it. “Because I owe it to my team to be honest with them, especially after how I overreacted to Blake. I cannot allow myself to hide the truth any longer, even if…” She looked down at her hands, starting to tremble. Instantly Nora knelt down in front of her and gently cupped her face, speaking softly. “Hey hey, dont go working yourself

up over ifs and maybes. Sure, you said some things, but you said sorry, and they forgave you. Im sure they wont be bothered by this. And if things go south, hey you can always just join our team~! Though we’d need to work out how to include W to JNPR~” Weiss let out a sniffle and smiled, raising her head from Nora’s hands and slowly standing, Nora instantly hugging the girl, to which Weiss reciprocated. “Nora, thank you so much. You have been a wonderful friend to me and I cannot repay you enough.” Nora pulled back from the hug with a wide smile, her usual energy returning. “Hey come-on, thats what friends do, we look out for one another~” Weiss picked up the bag from the ground and nodded back, the two girls walking back to the dorms, idle chatter filling the time before they arrived, Nora giving a big thumbs up before entering her room, leaving Weiss with her hand on the handle, taking a deep breath before entering the room, barely having time to duck as a pillow came flying towards her, narrowly missing as she looked upon the scene. Ruby holding a pillow and swinging hazardly at Yang, who weaved out of the way and returned with her own swing, before the two registered Weiss and stopped. “Hey Weiss! You wanna join in~? Blake might join if its two on two~” Ruby chirped excitedly, her energy seemingly limitless. “Yeah come-on princess, I’ll be more than happy to whoop your butt as well as my little sis’s~” Yang said with a smirk on her face, before dodging a well timed throw from Ruby. Weiss sighed and picked up the pillow that had nearly hit her and closed the door, shaking her head. “Honestly it is a wonder how the two of you are considering becoming huntresses when you act like little children.” “Ah cmon Weiss-y, you gotta have a little fun now and then, whats the point of life if you stay ridged all the time~?” Weiss shook her head and made her way to her bed, placing the pillow onto it and sitting, restless as her worry was building up again. “Weiss? Are you..ok?” Weiss looked up startled at the last member of the team over on her bed, slowly closing her book and focusing her attention on her. “You seem….kinda tense.” Weiss took a breath to help calm her nerves as her other two teammates looked over, all showing a similar sign of concern. “Actually Blake, I need to talk to you. All of you, if that is ok?” Yang flopped down onto Blake’s bed and looked over at her, while Ruby sat down beside her, all eyes on her. “Whats wrong Weiss? Blake’s right, you’re looking real tense.” Weiss’s eyes focused on her hands as she fidgeted, trying to come up with the right words. She silently cursed herself, this should not be this hard. A hand coming to rest on her knee drew her from her thoughts as she looked over at her partner, a soft-yet warm smile on her face. “It’s ok Weiss, whatever’s wrong, you know we’re here for you, right?” Weiss felt herself relax slightly, thankful for her partner’s kind words. “Okay, I do not know how to properly say this, so please, be patient with me.” With a reaffirming nod from Ruby and an audible “Mhm” from Yang, she continued. “The truth is...I have not been entirely honest with the rest of you. And for that, I am sorry to all of you, but mostly, I am sorry to Blake.” Blake looked over, confused. “Weiss, what are you-” Weiss raised her hand to stop Blake, taking a breath. “I was not at all kind to you when you revealed the truth about yourself, despite the fact that in doing so, I was being extremely hypocritical myself. Ive been hiding a truth myself, and after all that has been said and done, I feel I owe it to all of you to be honest.” Weiss took a quick glance at her team, Yang’s expression was clear confusion, Ruby was still giving her the same calming smile, while Blake had become more focused on her. She took a deep breath and continued. “The truth is, I….was not born a girl.” Weiss waited for a response from the others, but when none came, she looked up at her three teammates. Yang looked somewhat shocked, Blake still had her focused look on her, though it was clear she hadnt

expected that. Ruby however, didnt seem shocked or surprised in the slightest. “So, like Nora?” Weiss nodded, and to her surprise found herself being wrapped in her partner’s embrace. “Aww Weiss, you dont have to be nervous, its not like we’d think of you any diferent, ya know?” Yang looked over, shaking off her shocked look and sitting forward. “Yeah, Rubes is right, you’re still our icy princess after all, right Blake?” Blake looked over at Weiss, her expression no longer one of shock, but of understanding. “You were worried I’d be mad at you, werent you?” Ruby and Yang looked to one another as Weiss nodded slightly. “I acted like you lying to us about yourself was such a big deal when I have been lying this entire time.” Weiss continued to hang her head. “Its ok Weiss, really. You already apologised more than enough times for me to know you mean it. And I get it, really. Growing up where you did, I know that kind of thinking isnt easy to get rid of.” Blake shifted herself and stood up. “But, you’re wrong about something.” Weiss looked up hesitantly as Blake stepped over to her, kneeling down in front of her. “You haven’t lied to any of us.” Weiss looked taken aback, not sure what to make of that. It was far from what she had expected Blake to say. “I...I am not sure I follow.” Blake smiled at her softly, resting her hands gently over Weiss’s. “You havent lied to us, because you arent pretending to be something you arent. You’re a girl Weiss, even if you weren’t born one. You haven’t hidden anything from us. From day one, you have been honest to us.” Yang soon walked over, sitting on the other side of Weiss. “Blake’s right, ya know? You’ve always been honest with us about who you are, and you didnt have to feel like you owed us to tell us.” She felt her eyes begin to well up, she knew they would accept her but she had fully expected Blake to be mad at her. To find not only was she not mad, but giving Weiss words of kindness and understanding as she had, it felt overwhelming. Said team was quick to embrace her as she felt a few tears flow, a small smile on her face. “T-thank you, all of you. I-I suppose I should not have been worrying so much over this.” Ruby gave her a gentle squeeze. “Well, worrying about things too much is something you’re best at.” “Hey!” They all laughed as they remained in their embrace, Weiss giving a gentle chuckle. Of course Nora has been right, she shouldn’t have been worried about hypothetical ifs and maybes, especially not with her team. A team that, day by day, Weiss would consider more and more her real family. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whooo boy, this, this was a tough one. Im proud of how her talk with Nora went at the beginning, I felt like I wrote that well, and yeah I HC Nora as trans. But writing her coming out to her team, I kept erasing and redoing parts because I really did not know how to do it right. This is one I feel like I should come back to when ive gotten some more experience writing.

[gaetoeinhaler]

𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

983 words

all demon brothers & female reader

angst. i guess. kind of a self indulgent piece. idk bout yall, but i dont exactly like lilith :/

_________________

sighing, i set down my cup and stared at the demon brothers in front of me. the topic of how we became friends; from how it went from us not even talking to each other to how we graduated to making pacts with each and every one of them. once, again.

i know they only like me due to having their sister’s dna and heritage in me. especially belphegor. it was the main reason they fully accepted me for who i was. but, if they knew how badly i despised their own sister, i don’t believe we’d even be in this spot. they’d think differently of me. hate me, even. though, this is our last night together. for, the program ends tomorrow and i get sent home.

it’s best to tell them now, then continue on with this lie.

“you know, if i had told you this information sooner, you all wouldn’t think of me as such a close friend.” i interrupted their cheery conversation, already expecting the outcome.

“whaaat?” asmo’s feminine-like voice rang within the air. “of course we’d still like you, (y/n)!” he quickly reassured me. though, that would change quickly.

“what makes you say thar, (y/n)?” lucifer questioned, placing his silverware on his plate. all fourteen eyes of the brothers’ were focused on me.

i took in a breathe, readying myself for what was to come. “i hate, no, despise your sister.” i spoke. the room went quiet instantly, their eyes wide, some with their mouth agape. of course that’d be their reaction. i continued, knowing they wouldn’t exactly say anything with their shocked selves. “i’m not lying, this isnt some sort of prank.” i clarified. “i hate your sister.”

i stopped them all from talking, knowing that their sister is a sensitive part of them. “i don’t really care about the fact that i’m related to her in some sort of way. it’s as if as soon as you knew that i was related to her when she was reincarnated in the human world, you all changed how acted around me.” i explained, eating the rest of my food and setting my silverware down.

“you all became more accepting of me, wanted to be around me more. just because i was related to her.” i spoke, standing from my seat. “and quite frankly, that upset me. its as soon as i’m related to someone such as her, you all are a completely different person. different on how you act towards me. like me more. just because of that.”

picking up my plate, silverware, and cup, i head towards the kitchen so i could clean up my plate. “though i’d say that, just to let you all know how i’ve been feeling. and quite frankly, i kind of wished she left me dead after belphegor choked me.” i shrugged and walked in the kitchen. i set my dirty dishes in the sink, turning the water on.

pouring dish soap upon the sponge, i scrubbed and washed the dishes clean. one by one. whilst doing so, i thought about what tomorrow would be like. i could guess the brothers would avoid me, due to the fact that i hate their sister is still setting in their minds. i sighed and shook my head, knowing tomorrow would be an ugly day.

_____________

walking into the student council room, i saw simeon, barbatos, diavolo, solomon, and luke. i smiled softly, walking towards the five of them.

“hello.” i greeted, allowing my presence to be known. “good afternoon, (y/n).” diavolo replied. “have you seen lucifer? he hasn’t replied to any of my calls lately.” he frowned, his arms crossed. i shook my head. i havent heard a thing of the lucifer, or any of his brothers, since last night. “what a shame. he and his brothers should be here to say their goodbyes before you leave.” the demon lord shook his head with a sigh.

i nodded, but didn’t mind it too much. i couldnt care that much, if honest. if the fact that me being related to lilith really made them like me, then when i said i didnt like her, dislike me, then so be it. i’d rather be liked for who i am, not who i’m related to.

a portal appeared within the room, simeon and luke’s head turning towards it. luke tugged at simeon’s wrist, signaling that he was more then ready to leave.

the two angels bid their farewell, and soon left. solomon following afterwards. it soon became only me, diavolo, and barbatos left within the room. the portal for me appeared, ready for me to leave. i turned to the two demons, giving them one last smile.

“its a shame that lucifer and his brothers still arent here.” diavolo sighed before smiling back. “thank you for participating in my exchange program, (y/n). i hope you had a great year here.”

i nodded. “i wish you luck on your journey in life. may your wishes come true.” barbatos spoke. “don’t forget, if you need help, you have friends here in devildom to help you, (y/n)!” diavolo reminded me.

i smiled and nodded, bidding my farewell before exiting the demon world. i learned things, and lost things. that being, i lost the brothers’ liking in me. though, i only really gained it because of who i’m related to, not for who i am and will be.

it seems we weren’t meant to be friends, whatsoever. and i can live with that.

[estherthedragonprincess]

Miraculous ladybug rant

Alright alright, I dont like getting in to "ship wars" or participating in ship culture or any of that nonsense

but here are my thoughts.

when master fu first gave Adrien and Marinette their respective kwamis he said that "they were meant for each other," and we all took it to mean Adrien and Marinette were meant for one another. However, im going to choose that it meant the kwamis and the kids were meant for each other, since that makes more sense then some random old dude shipping two preteens together. Another reason for this interpretation? because otherwise it is the author telling us something instead of showing us. In season one we were shown that Adrien and Marinette were kind people both with their own set of flaws, but Adrien hardly even talked to Marinette until towards the end of season 1 and there was never even the slightest bit of indication he thought of her as anything but a friend, if even that. So being out right told that "these two characters are my end game, even if they have no chemistry whatsoever, I created these two to be together so thats it, now just wait for them to get together." feels like a twist of fate that just feels forced.

So when the show introduces rivals to create some fabricated tension for the main couple (that still hasn't got much screen time to even be believable) you might think the main couple might start showing more initiative towards each other. Instead we have Kagami who Adrien actually shows interest towards. When she is in the episode they interact far more then Adrien and Marinette ever seem to and he encourages her to befriend his friends so they are closer. Marinette gets jealous sure, but... lets be honest, when it comes to Adrien, Marinette gets jealous of everyone. She is just as bad as Chloe, she's just nicer about it.

Then for Marinette we are introduced to Luka. A soft spoken, very mature guy. From day one Luka showed more interest in Marinette, connected with her quickly and SAW Marinette. He has already confessed to her and Marinette reciprocates but is hung up on the fantasy she has of Adrien Agreste.

So instead of tension to push the main couple towards each other, we are introduced to two very likable alternatives that both Marinette and Adrien show more interest towards then each other. And yet.... the author tweets out that the characters "disagree" with the viewers. As a writer myself, there are times I realize that the characters Ive created and wanted to be together just... arent going to be together. This certainly gets some readers riled up as they decided from chapter 1 who should be together and they get upset if it doesnt happen. but im not about forcing two people together just because its in high demand or if it was the original plan. When the characters themselves show interest in other people, or have minds of their own, then.... who am I as the author to force them to change just because I want them to? My job is to tell their story, not forcefully make them do what I want as if they are puppets. being told that (specifically) Luka and Marinette disagree with the idea of liking/dating each other and yet having the evidence in the writing itself that that isnt true. feels like the author themself is trying to force the characters to do what they want instead of letting the characters do what they want. (any good story allows characters to do what they want, the plot follows the characters, the characters dont follow the plot)

I know Adrien and Marinette's meeting was attempted to be played off as a version of enemies to lovers trope. but it didnt really work. there was no development for them to start liking each other, we got one scene with the umbrella in the rain that changed Marinette's mind about this kid she saw as a bully, but Adrien was just desperately trying to not be hated. He didnt like her, he wasnt trying to win her heart romantically. His actions only showed how bad his home life is when it comes to emotional support. Not any semblance of a kid being attracted to, interested in, or trying to win over the other person.

Im curious how future seasons will play out, but Id be lying if I said I was actually looking forward to them. I have a hard time sitting through episodes of MLB, in fact I tend to skip through most episodes because the majority of the writing makes me cringe. whenever it doesnt, I watch, which Ive found are the episodes Where Marinette is being herself and not freaking out over Adrien and not being jealous of anyone who so much as looks at Adrien. (writing this I suddenly wonder if Marinette is a yandere trope) And the episodes where characters interact with each other in believable, mature ways.

[ithisatanytime]

  i am bitching like crazy but to be honest she called me back, she put up with a lot of insane bullshit from me, im just losing my mind because i fucked up again and life came down pretty hard on me for it again. i was already close to the edge. i was close to the fucking edge before any of this shit happened to be honest, and mostly over the goddamn past, its not so easy to let go when its there in the fucking background all the time, gnawing a whole inside you, am i doing that? man fuck sigmund freud in his rotten asshole, what an absolute lying piece of shit, and jung too they are both burning in hell. i dont secretly crave the pain, i want to be free every moment of every day, shit matters, stuff that happens matters. god their ideas were like a malignant tumor. fucked everyone right up, just like they were designed to do. anyway, most girls wouldnt have  called back, and when i was particularly helpless, going full baby mode if i missed a dose, she was there for me. i cant imagine another woman doing that after what we put each other through. but  shes still a woman.. if we never talk again i will love her until i die, but i hope we talk again because i dont think i can carry this shit any farther, i dont even have a dream to delude myself with anymore. fuck i just wanted to at least see her in motion you know, to prove to myself this isnt a dream, because in my dreams i cant see her face anymore, its been too long and the memories faded so much i cant render her face in 3d. just before she spoke to me again briefly, i started having those same dreams where im searching for her, but finally i found her all covered in garments, her face covered. she allowed me to touch her cheek and i caressed it, and thats the only time i have ever touched her in a dream since we’ve been apart. shit was cash.

  it still feels like a dream, but i do miss the old phenibut dream, it was terrifying at times but i had so much faith, i was dancing on my bed and cheering, praising god loudly while feasting on fruits and meats and ice cream. i was celebrating, and i was never home, i was at the beach or the gym or just walking around, now im fuckign back on this fucking porch, addicted to kratom, gonna be flat fucking broke for a minute, phones broken, we arent talking, and i feel sober as a judge. god told me that day he fucking told me that he loved me just how i was, and i let peoples.. never mind who cares

[chocojjk]

Heaven Knows

summary: im not even gonna try, yall know im bad at summaries 

words: 2.7k

a/n: this forreal took me 6 hours i think im burning out ,, also guess what?? its not edited 

you were chilling in your best friends dorm room without him being there, which is honestly just a normal thing

jisung was out with his friends which means he wouldn't be back for a while

apparently they needed to talk to him about something important

“an intervention, they said,” jisung says chuckling

“What would you need an intervention for??”

“I honestly have no clue”

which left you here, all alone, completely bored out of your mind

laying there in his bed scanning his room for something to do when something shiny on top of his desk caught your eye

with the amount of times you've been here before, you have never seen this object

and so your curiosity got the best of you

you walked over and saw that it was a CD, written on it were the words “for you” and a badly drawn heart, the messy handwriting clearly belonging to your best friend

you chuckle at this

you never knew jisung could be this cheesy

turning on his computer, his screensaver, which was a picture of the two of you, lit up the room

you see, you and jisung have been childhood best friends

your parents were best friends which just means that you guys saw each other all the time

but dont get me wrong, they never forced your guys’ friendhsip

the two of you just got along

growing up, you would always be by his side and him yours

you didnt trust anyone as much as you trusted jisung

inputting in the CD, his honey-like voice started filling the air

“hey, its jisung, haha, of course you know that since ive already given this to you”

you let out small chuckle, clearly enjoying how worked up your best friend sounded

you cant help but feel guilty for invading his personal space

but c’mon, it was you and jisung

personal space is a myth when it comes to the both of you

and so you continued to listen

“umm, ive been meaning to tell you this for a while but could never find the words to do so , so uh,, i-i made you a CD with all the songs that makes me think of you”

‘how cute’ you thought to yourself, ignoring the rising jealousy that you were feeling in the pit of your stomach

wait what??

pshh, youre not jealous

why would you be jealous??? he’s just your best friend

‘im just disappointed that he didnt trust me with this,’ you told yourself

yup, thats all, just clear and utter disappointment

jealousy? we dont know her

plus, you had a very loving boyfriend

“ok so this first song is just how i feel whenever we’re together, this is better together by jack johnson”

and as the song filled your ears, you can't help but imagine that this CD was for you

keyword: imagine

jisung has made it very clear that he only saw you as his best friend, heck, maybe even as his sister

you think back to the day where you joked around of a possibility of the two of you

“ji, what if one day you become my boyfriend”

“hahaha y/n, that’s a weird joke”

“why is that so weird??”

“uhm because were just best friends” he replies, stating the obvious

and ever since then you have pushed the thought of you guys as a couple in the back of your head

never allowing your feelings to surface for the boy

your thoughts were interrupted when you heard your best friends sweet voice again

“ok remember when your first boyfriend broke your heart? well this song pretty much sums up how i felt the whole time, and every other time you get in a relationship.”

“I could treat you so much better than them, you know?”

“why can't you see that??? haha,, anyways this is Better by Gabe Bondoc”

damn, whoever this girl was got jisung whipped as fuck

you started wondering who she was and how come jisung never told you about her before

was she part of your friend group? did you know her?

whoever she was, you hoped that she’d wake up soon and realize what a catch your best friend is and that she would have to be the dumbest person alive to not love him back

“okay uhm, were halfway in this playlist now. sometimes i feel like you feel this way too, but i don't know, maybe i'm just being delusional. this is Friends by Ed Sheeran”

okay so clue number 1, this girl is definitely good friends with jisung

what the fuck han jisung

who is she

“if they find out would it all go wrong and heaven knows no one wants it to,”

you dont know why or what happened, but when you heard that line of the song, you cant help but release all the bottled up feelings that youve been hiding

yes, you were in love with your best friend

yes, you got into relationships as a way to get over him

no, it never works

because every time you were left with a broken heart, he was there to piece it all back together

he was there wiping your tears, holding you, singing you cheesy love songs

he was there with his bad jokes that always brings a smile on your face, making you happy, making you whole again

jisung was always there, and you cant escape him

and now as you listen to a playlist not made for you, your heart begins to break

surely if this was for you, he would have given it to you a long time ago

just the mere thought of jisung caring for another girl besides you hurt your heart

you decided that it was time to stop

you scolded yourself for even listening to it in the first place

and so you took the CD out, and put it back where it belong

a couple minutes later, jisung enters his room, seeing your figure seated in front of his computer, your head rested on your hands as your shoulders shook slightly, a sign that you were crying

“hey, are you okay?” he says grabbing your hands, making you look straight into his eyes

“shh it’s okay, im here,” he continues, pulling you into a warm hug

and you can't help but be mad

why the fuck was he being so sweet to you when he’s in love with someone else

han jisung, this is not fair, not fair at all

and then you realized that you were doing the same exact thing

you pushed him away from you, which caused him to stumble back, hitting the desk behind him

“I-i have to go”

“y/n??”

running out of the room, jisung tried to chase after you however,,

“Woah woah woah why are you in such a hurry?”

chan and minho

“I-uh y/n just ran out and i-”

“y/n again?, jisung didnt we just talk about how you should see her less,” minho exclaims

“Yeah, this really isnt healthy for you jisung, you really should stop pining over this girl,” chan continued

“guys, shes my best friend!”

“Ok and she obviously doesnt wanna talk to you if she ran away, dont force yourself in places where you dont belong or youll just get hurt in the end,” the older guys continued

“I-”

“were just looking out for you jisung,” chan finishes

and so with his head drooped down, he made his way back into his room

and then he noticed it,,

the CD

‘fuck fuck fuck’

A million thoughts were racing through jisungs head

he was sure that you've heard it, why else would you react that way when you saw him

god, he should've never made that CD in the first place

was he that much of a coward that he couldnt just tell you he was in love with you in person

and now you know and obviously dont feel the same

‘Great going jisung, you just ruined your relationship with your best friend’

---

its been 3 days and there hasnt been any contact within the both of you

you ended up breaking up with your 4 month long boyfriend

“Its because of jisung huh?”

“i…,”

you racked your brain for a different excuse but then decided to come clean, this boy has always been so sweet to you, the least you could do is be honest with him

“how’d you know?”

“I see the way you look at him y/n, its like youre looking at millions of stars, i always hope you’d learn to look at me that way”

“are you mad?”

he gives you a sad smile, “no.. not at you, i always knew this would happen”

“im really sorry hyunjin”

“Its okay, i wish you and jisung all the happiness in the world”

“thank you,” you reply even though you knew that it wasnt going to happen since he liked someone else 

meanwhile, jisung has locked himself up in his room

he was ashamed of himself for making that playlist

his friends have been asking him to hang out yet all he can do is mope around listening to the stupid songs that he has added and cringing at how dumb his voice recordings sounded

he missed you so much but he was so scared to reach out to you

3 days might not seem like a long time, but with you and jisung, 3 days felt like a whole year

Im not saying that you guys are always glued together, no, thats not the case

But you guys would always text each other

Sending each other memes throughout the day

But now the both of you was just left with silence

It really allowed you both to think

he figured you hated him and never wanted to see him again

So he never expected you to knock on his door

“chan, go away, just leave me here to cry”

“errmm, its not chan”

,,,

,,,

jisungs eyes nearly popped out of his sockets as soon as he heard your voice

and in one quick second he was scrambling to open his door

“you were crying???”

“no”

“whats wrong?”

“nothing, im glad youre here”

“umm, why wouldn't i be?”

“I-i just thought that after the other day, you wouldnt-”

“about that” you say, quickly cutting him off

*gulps*

“can we talk?”

“arent we doing that right now?” jisung jokes but as soon as he saw the nervous expression on your face, he shut his mouth and let you in , closing the door behind him

‘oh god, shes gonna tell me that she never wants to see me ever again’

“im sorry-”

“I didnt mean it-”

“what?”

“what?”

the both of you having confused expressions written on your faces

“You first,” you say

Jisung nervously scratches the back of his head, refusing to meet your gaze

“the - the cd, i,, i didnt mean it” he says but the way he slightly bit his lip afterwards was a clear indication that he was lying

did he forget that he was your best friend? there was really no point in lying to you

however, you just chose to ride along with his little lie

“oh, well then i guess that makes what im about to say easier”

accepting the fact that you were about to break his heart, he nods at you, urging you to go on

“Jisung, im in love with you”

“its okay that you don't like me back, we can still be best friends -- wait...what?” jisung replies quickly, ending his prepared speech

You looked at him, stunned at his sudden confession

“You're in love with me?”

“You like me ??”

damn both of you guys are so dumb i sWEAr

“Well,,,, yeah,,,, didnt you listen to the CD? I literally say your name in it”

(⊙ˍ⊙)

(⊙＿⊙)

(@[]@!!)

“WHEN???”

“After the last song,” he says, like it was the most obvious thing on earth

“I-” you make yourself over to his desk, looking for the CD

as soon as you found it, you plopped it into his computer

“really y/n???? Youre gonna listen to it right in front of me as if i havent been embarrassed enough” he says with a pout

“jisung shuT UP”

you fast forward to the part where you left off of  

“this next song is called Wait for You,, im sure you know this song as we always sing to it toegether, but yeahh ill always be here waiting for the day to come when you finally notice me”

The song begins to play yet you fast forward even more in rapid search of your name

“and, well this brings us to the last song,, god, i really hope you dont hate me right now, if you haven’t guessed by now, im in love with you. I dont know when it started or how it happened, maybe ive been in love with you ever since we were three, i don't know okay. But yeah,,, i fell in love with my best friend, god this is so cliche, but y/n l/n i love you”

you were shocked,,,

but at the same time, you felt like you can finally breathe

he loves you back

Han Jisung fucking loves you back

god reader, if you just stayed and listened until the very end, maybe this au wont be so long my brain cells are disappearing writing this

jisung wasn't making an effort to say something, not even to joke around

he was just sitting on his bed behind you, waiting for you to do something,, anything

we all know by now that he aint going to be the one to make the first move

the last song playing was the only thing that could be heard in the room

until,, you finally turned to face him, wearing the biggest smile on your face

you tackled him unto the bed

“oof”

“you're so annoying,,” you say, hitting him

at this point he has his arms around you as you were sprawled out across his body

“I love you too,” you confess, looking straight in his eyes

jisung doesn't know where he got his newly found courage

But he wasnt complaining as he reached out to your face, finally connecting his lips upon yours

“Ive been wanting to do that for so long”

“Why didnt you?”

“Well, you had a- dklfjasfkasjf,,,,, wait,,,,,, you have a boyfriend???”

And now were back to frantic jisung

“dont worry ji, i broke up with him,” you say a small smile on your lips

“wait, you broke up with him???

are you dumb????

He has like the prettiest face???

And like the nicest lips??

And hes so tall and he can dance so well!!”

“Jisung, if i didnt know any better, i would think you have a crush on him”

“shut up, im just saying,, that man is pReTTY”

“yeah youre right, he has everything i want in a man, maybe i should call him again, tell him i was just kidding about the break up” jisung pouts at this

“uhm, im sorry but you have a boyfriend now so you cant do that”

“oh really?”

“yep”

“who is he ??”

“y/nnn,,” jisung whines

“what?”

“will you be my girlfriend???”

“as long as you make me more CD’s” you say teasingly

“oh shut up”

1 year later

you and jisung are still going as strong as ever, and it was great

it was like you guys were always meant to be together, your relationship being the perfect balance of best friends and lovers 

as you were cleaning out your bedroom, you spotted the CD, still looking as shiny as ever, in between a couple of your books, and you cant help but smile at the memory

you were so lost in your thoughts that you didnt notice your boyfriend enter your room

“babe whats that?”

“oh nothing, just a certain CD that this overly romantic boy made me,”

“oh god, youre never gonna let that go huh”

“I just didnt know you could be THIS cheesy, like you really were symping over me” you say

the CD became an inside joke between the two of you,,,

you would always tease jisung about how cliche it was

“I still cant believe you didnt listen until the end, like what kind of dumbass just starts a playlist and doesnt even listen to the whole thing”

“hey!, youre the one in love with me, so guess whos the bigger dumbass”

a/n: oops another one but the last song is called Best Friend by Jason Chen hehe

[tacittherapist]

Heartbeats quicken. The tremors return. Rose opens her laptop, glancing about to make sure she’s alone. Gods forbid anyone, especially Jade, see her revisit one of her lowest points. She craves it -- to know the bitter ennui of her past mistakes is a nectar that keeps her reality grounded and the fire under her lit. This particular memory is perhaps the worst mistake of her young life though, and to correct it would be to supp deep from the ichor of sweet relief. She pulls up the log...

tacitTherapist [TT] started trolling grimAuxiliary [GA].

TT: So. GA: So TT: It’s come to this. GA: Indeed It Has TT: And you’re still not budging. GA: Consider My Position Entirely Unmoved TT: Entirely? That seems a bit harsh. GA: This Is A Harsh Reality TT: I imagined you’d have at least granted me the niceties and lied about how malleable your convictions are. GA: Rose GA: What Is There Left To Say GA: We Have A Crucial Difference In Opinion That Cannot Be Reconciled GA: We Have Iterated Our Arguments To Each Other For Days Without Relent GA: The Underlying Basis To This Disagreement Is Presupposed On The Notion That This Infernal Game Has Shown You The Right Course Of Action Without Any Other Supporting Evidence That It Isnt Simply Lying To You Once Again TT: They aren’t lies, they’re possibilities. GA: But Only One Of Them Will Happen To Us GA: The Rest Dont Matter GA: Thus They Are Lies And There Is Just One Truth TT: Couching your beliefs that way is what I disagree with. GA: Then You Arent Fucking Listening GA: Only One Of Those Timelines Will Be The One We Are In GA: So Forgive Me If I Buttress My Language In Solipsistic Idiom GA: Unless You Can Give Me More Than One Percent Assurance That We Will All Make It Through This By Jumping On This Fantastic Savior Satellite GA: I Cannot Support Your Idea And I Suggest You Let It Go TT: I can’t. GA: I Know GA: Thats Why Theres Nothing Left To Say TT: I disagree. I think there are a variety of things left to say. GA: Do They Relate To The Problem At Hand Or Are You Stalling TT: Irrelevant. The impetus of communication isn’t inherently problem-solving, it’s to convey meaning. GA: The Impetus Does Solve A Problem GA: You Want To Convey Meaning So The Solution Is Communication TT: Semantics. I’m saying there are other avenues of thought we must explore first. GA: Rose According To You We Are Running Out Of Time GA: Is This Truly How You Want To Spend Your Last Moments With Us GA: Bickering Pointlessly On Separate Computers To Avoid Devolving Into Another Shouting Competition Which Karkat Invariably Wins TT: Would you rather I pivot into sweet nothings about how I’ve so enjoyed our time together on this desolate rock? TT: Would you rather I spin the yarn of our tale aboard this distant laboratory, slowly starving as our grist cache dwindles? TT: Must I recount our feeding calendar in which we literally take turns stemming the hunger pangs until we all eventually succumb to malnutrition and sickness simultaneously? GA: No TT: Then this is how I’m spending my last moments. Quite presumptuous of you to assume I’ve made up my mind as well. For all you know, I could be swayed and end up staying here. GA: Given You Were Just Eviscerating My Position Mere Seconds Ago As To Why We Should Stay Here Im Sufficiently Certain You Wont TT: That’s another issue. Your certainty. The Light has shown me countless avenues to success. There are literally endless timelines in which we follow my advice and everyone meets up to finish the game. TT: And yet you’re somehow unwaveringly certain that none of them will occur? GA: Your Argument Swings Both Ways TT: I don’t appreciate the implicit reference to my confusing sexuality, but go on. GA: If There Are Countless Possibilities In Which We Succeed Following Your Idea Then There Are Also Countless Possibilities In Which We Succeed Not Following Your Idea GA: Its Two Infinities GA: The Question Lies In Which Infinity Is Bigger TT: That makes no sense, infinity is infinity. GA: Yes But Some Infinities Are Larger Or Smaller Than Others GA: Some Infinities Are Not Even Truly Infinity But We Consider Them Infinity For The Sake of Mathematics TT: How does that make even remote sense? GA: While You Were Studying The Majyyk I Was Reading The Calculus TT: I didn’t realize I was speaking to Jade’s pupil. GA: You Arent GA: If I Were Jades Pupil Wed Have Met Up By Now And We Wouldnt Be Having This Inane Conversation TT: But you can become her pupil! If you just come with me. Trust me, Kanaya. Please. GA: I Trust You Rose GA: But I Cannot Go With You GA: Look GA: The Prophecy Satellite Is On The Horizon GA: You Have Not Much Time TT: Technically I have all the time I need. GA: Dave Has Sworn Off His Powers And You Know This TT: He can be convinced. GA: If Your Powers Of Persuasion On Him Are Anything Like They Are On Me I Highly Doubt That TT: Fuck you. GA: Rose

A pregnant pause passes as Rose looks over on the horizon. The satellite is indeed coming into view.

TT: I’m sorry, Kanaya. TT: I love you. GA: I Love You Too Rose GA: But This Is Goodbye TT: It doesn’t have to be. GA: What GA: Didnt We Just Go Over That Im Not Coming With You And That You Arent Staying Here TT: Yes. But if you don’t say goodbye, it means we’ll meet again. GA: Rose This Is Childish TT: If you don’t say goodbye, it isn’t the end. GA: This Is The End Rose TT: It isn’t the end. I’ll see you again. I’ll find John and Jade by myself and we’ll come get you. GA: How GA: How Long Will It Take To Find Them GA: And How Will You Find Us If You Ever Do GA: This Laboratory Is Bound To Continue Drifting Even After You Depart GA: We Wont Stay Frozen In Place Once You Leave GA: This Isnt Like One Of Those Trashy Rainbowdrinker Books You Devoured GA: This Is Real Rose GA: You Must Face This Truth TT: We are the shapers of our world. GA: Not This Again TT: We determine our own fate. GA: Rose This Is A Quote From Another Novel Please Dont Do This TT: We mold the physical to our whims and thrust it forward through our own designs. We shape destiny. We reject that which displeases us and create our own reality. TT: Can you really not indulge me? As this one last act of kindness? GA: I Will Allow You One Kindness But It Will Not Be This TT: Fine. As my last act of kindness from you, I want... GA: It Cannot Be Something Ridiculous TT: I want you to forget me. GA: What The Fuck Did I Just Say TT: Hear me out. TT: If truly everything we’ve been through thus far has meant so little that you can’t put your faith in my decision, I want you to forget it. TT: It will be as if it never happened. I was merely a phantom in this session, and should I somehow return (against your predictions), I will get to vindictively rub it in your face. TT: But if you’re right, and I never return, the pain for you is lessened. You were never in a relationship with me, so there’s nothing to mourn. I never existed. Things were simply bad, and my nagging insistence to redirect our course was never there. TT: I want you to forget me. GA: Rose You Know I Cant Do That TT: Not even for me? As your last kindness? GA: It Would Not Be Kind To Invalidate The Memories You Ensured We Would Create GA: It Would Not Be Kind To Devalue Everything You Have Done For Us GA: And I Still Cherish Those Memories Even If They Led To Something Painful TT: It will only cause you more pain if you hold onto them. I don’t want you to suffer. GA: I Want To Suffer These Memories GA: They Offer Me Some Reassurance TT: But not enough to convince you to join me. GA: No

Rose stops typing, a nerve in her snapping. Her face goes beet-red, despair swelling into wrath. She sets her claws to the keyboard once more.

TT: Then if not by your grace, I’ll make you forget through spite. GA: What TT: I want to be forgotten. I want my existence to be erased from this failure of a timeline. I never loved you. You meant nothing to me. GA: Rose TT: My departure will be a curse upon you unless you forget. Whether by magic or by will, you must forget me. All those memories I made with you meant nothing. I did those things only to ensure my own survival. Your presence was happenstance at best. TT: Now that I’m heading out on my own, our destinies are uncoupled. Whatever happens to you is beneath me. I am taking the path to victory, and you can all squander the rest of your miserable lives here. TT: I won’t come back for you. I gave you all the chances I had. This is your fault. GA: Rose Please Dont Do This TT: You won’t see me again. I’m getting on that satellite and I’m not looking back. Even if I am to die, alone on a satellite, it will be a Heroic death as the only one with any sense not to continue a cursed existence on this fucking rock. TT: I will live with only a spectre of guilt that I didn’t forcibly coerce you onto the satellite with me, chastising myself for respecting your wishes and letting you choose your own demise. TT: That is all. Goodbye.

tacitTherapist [TT] stopped trolling grimAuxiliary [GA].

True to her word, Rose closed her laptop and walked briskly to the edge of the floating laboratory to wait for the satellite to pass by. Sheer anger coursed through her veins, hoping that would mask her true intent. She had never displayed that kind of fury before, let alone to Kanaya. If she played her cards right, Kanaya might still join her, moved by the pure strength of her conviction. But there was no hesitant hand on her shoulder, begging her to stay or to join her. There was no last-second plea, no ‘Rose Wait’, and not even a footstep in her general direction as she waited.

Resigned, she boarded the satellite, breaking her word and casting a desperate glance back as the satellite continued its course away. Through the tiny window, she could see Kanaya simply looking down at her grubtop, her face stained jade. Regret swelled, and for just a second, she could feel herself begin to open the hatch and jump back towards the meteor. But the second passed, and soon she was out of range to give even a cursory wave goodbye.

The same tears begin to stream down her face as she closes the pesterlog and wraps her sheets tighter around her shoulders. She can’t keep putting off her meeting with Cetus forever... but she still doesn’t know how she’ll reckon with the shadow of her failed ploy.

[holy-shit-dangan-ronpa]

opinions

@cheinsaw said: gimme that nanami/sonia hot take

Don’t really ship it, but that’s probably because nanami just isnt a favorite character of mine. Romantically? It could happen. I’d be okay with it. I just can’t really find myself being invested in them as a pairing bc i just dont care too much about chiaki.

Anonymous said: opinions on toukomaru post-dr3, and on chihiro x chiaki?

Toukomaru: they love each other. Platonically or romantically they mean the world to each other and both are great characters and i love and support them. I dont think danron will ever have wlws that are as top tier. That said komaru is a minor and i am so tired of panty shots with her. We dont need em!!! The touko i know is going to grow outta her togami crush and realize komaru was here all along

Chiaki x Chihiro: i cant see this romantically. they dont really have any canon connection but i see chihiro as more of a parental figure for a.i. chiaki, even though, all things considered, they probably arent the one responsible for creating a.i. chiaki.

@roomofangel-s said: saimota or rantaro x shuichi

as in which one i like more? saimota. i love saimota so so much, man. as for amasai, i like it! the game makes rantaro out to be ace but i can still kinda see them together? rantaro often gets characterized as a playboy but he isnt, but i can imagine him being flirty if he like, gets permission, if that makes any sense? hes the kind to respect boundaries and all that and that is very valid of him. saihara is a bi disaster and definitely thinks he is hit bc lets face it, he is

Anonymous said: Shuichi/Happiness

yes!!! i am so down

Anonymous said: Kaede/Living

Real talk? i am like the only person who was glad kaede died. call me what you will, but i just didnt really like kaede. her design irks me, and she strikes me as “genki girl” in a lotta ways. it was cool seeing her go outta her way to murder. seeing my favorite character become the protag and basically be guaranteed to survive? oh i was so happy, because until then, i was so certain he was a goner

Anonymous said: How do you feel about Haijime and Mahiru as a ship?

Personally, Mahiru just Strikes Me as Lesbian, or at least, bi with a women preference. I can see them as good mlm (hinata being bi) wlw solidarity. great life partner friends, but i cant really see them as in love with each other. they definitely both shittalk their teachers in private though after becoming friends

@birded said: give me all your favorite dr trans hcs! 😍

i dont have too many? but saihara does give me Vibes. feminine voice, self-confidence issues, all that. in a non-despair au maki has to help him take his shots bc he has butterfingers and is also afraid and bc kaito still needs some help with the whole internalized homophobia thing (he would be understanding it’s just he grew up with old people so. yeah)

(the rest of these questions are also from birded im just not gonna tag them a bajillion times)

what's your favorite piece of dr content? mine is dr0 owo

i really liked all of them tbh? i really liked the atmosphere of dr1, the dr2 characters, the v3 ending... i really like drae but god i wish i were the creative director so we could remove that weird tickle minigame and all the komaru panty shots and kotoko undressing. i cant convince myself to read dr0. oops

what's some obscure or little/meaningless stuff in throughout the dr series that you really enjoy? what's some stuff you wish people talked about more?

definitely the use of honorifics! the nis translation removes them which is really sad bc they tell a lot about how the characters feel about each other! ishimaru uses -kun for everyone, which is kinda boyish but respectful! naegi uses -kun/-san bc hes nice, along with saihara and akamatsu.  hinata is just plain rude and uses none of them! i wrote a post abt one of my fav honorific moments here

what are youre thoughts on trans girl chihiro? what about thoughts on touko/komaru?

toukomaru i said up above, but, as for trans girl chihiro. please dont fucking kill me but. it’s not canon. danron 1 was written in 2010 and i doubt kodaka really wanted to make a cool story about a trans character. if chihiro was female, they wouldnt go outta their way and say that they’ve been “lying” to everyone. the game makes it clear they identified as male, and only dressed as a female due to their weak nature. trans people are the gender they say they are, and chihiro never goes and says “im actually a girl,” ya know?

in fics and stuff though? hell fucking yeah. go for it. if you think chihiro is trans go fucking ham but at the end of the day it isnt what kodaka wanted to write, just as much as i think maki is a lesbian and he went and wrote kaitomaki. youre allowed to take fiction and rectify shit you dont like in your art bc sometimes content creators are just bad. go wild

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

Why are ppl acting like taylor swift is some sort of icon. Last i heard she got exposed about lying about her song dragging another artist(drake?) With a lie and now ppl are acting like shes a good person just cus she insulted the most hateable man on the planet and made a song about how all criticism of her is bullshit and gay rights i guess? Its 2019 and this is her first halfassed attempt at being an ally for liberal points. Am i missing something or do tons of ppl just have basic ass taste

And before anyone wants to call me an anti or whatever i have a vested interest in some generic blond pop singer getting in trouble and suddenly coming out 2 years later with a song briefly mentioning gay ppl as a tool to use fake progressiveness to get her on ppls good side

And no rupauls legion of drag queens to afraid to speak out against rupauls trandphobia and pro bullying mantras does NOT represent the queer community

-------------

this is how you know i’m not a hater. Surprised by the dichotomy of my anger vs the worlds ambivalence i naturally asked “whats going on? am i wrong?” so i took the time to try to remind myself of these controversies, and in doing so i’m reminded by how right i am to question her

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/taylor-swift-blogger-sue-defamation-aclu-alt-right-denounce-white-supremacy-a8041551.html

In witch she, her lawyers or both threaten to sue a blogger for questioning her motive, fanbase and the amount in which white supremicists love her. While defimation of character IS a thing, not only would that have been the perfect time to finalize her stance AGAINST white supremecy but to denounce those fans and clear the air during the election cycle that has the worst candidate in years. But the most  powerful pop star in america is going to intimidate some blogger for suggesting things about her that she herself could easily fix with a 3 minute youtube video?

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2015/jul/22/nicki-minaj-debate-bigger-than-taylor-swifts-ego

her obsession with creating conflict in order to make her brand seem relevant resulting in her tripping up an important conversation about race in the music industry

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/nov/24/the-guardian-view-on-taylor-swift-an-envoy-for-trumps-values

the fact that she’s just...unprofessional with much of her music being gossipy and attacks on critics. a woman who speaks her mind isnt a good thing if she’s using it to spew lies, hate and just be mean

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2018/oct/08/taylor-swift-instagram-post-endorsement-democrats-tennessee

and while one might understand her public neutrality due to her age and in the past elections like 2008, in 2016 there was a clear villain. the only fans she had to lose were those who want the rest of her fans dead or subdued.

and while i found her list of philanthropy impressive, considering the largest donation was 1 million and

“ Taylor Swift currently has an estimated net worth of $360 million, which has grown due to her music, merchandise, and endorsements “

Even if only 1/10 of that is liquid assets, thats still the bare minimum.

Look i get it, she’s never (supposedly) done anything HORRIBLE

but the fact is that all of this paints the picture of someone who is at BEST sloppy, thoughtless and gets most of her good PR from well versed lawyers and PR people

and at worst paints the picture of an extremely powerful rich women oozing with privileged who’s made a personal brand and MILLIONS of dollars off of exploiting controversy, playing the victim, and giving tokenish support to the people most hurt by her ambivalence

there are hundreds of strong outspoken women in the music industry alone that speak out more and and do better work (i.e. social work, not catchy pop tunes). If you like her music fine, whatever, but dont act like she’s some sort of savior because 8 years after drag race became popular she used a drag term and said “being mad never made anyone less gay” in the middle of a song about how ppl arent allowed to criticize her.

maybe when taylor swift grows up and realizes she’s one of the rich that needs to be eaten, and like it or not that Trumps demon’s love women like HER, then maybe she can do some REAL work but “gay rights” in 2019 is about 10 years to late. even 5 years to late. She hemmed and hawed in 2016. she only spoke in support of the tenessee candidates. google recognized the frequency of ‘who did taylor swift vote for”.

If you cant take a hard stance against “they are sending their worst , their rapists and murderers” , against “when you’re rich you can do what you want”  then you are worthless. She is no ally of mine and if she really cared she would give MORE support without the recognition. but all the liberals ate up the tokenistic support and gave her an award and now she’s probably got MORE millions because of it

fuck that

[thebrochtuarachs]

When Love Dies

AU. One-shot. Major Character Death. In which Claire and Bree doesn't deserve Jamie for the way they (over) reacted in 4x10 and 4x11.

Nobody ain’t going to be happy about this but here goes. ✌🏻 (AO3)

Brianna was woken up once again by a shuffling noise around her room. When she woke up, she saw Roger’s hulking figure looming over her once again. She hesitated to move, fearing it might be another nightmare but she felt a natural pull in seeing his face and it gave her a little courage to come close.

“Roger” she called up as she rose from the bed but didn’t attempt to run to him.

“Bree” he called back. He must’ve sensed her hesitation, so he took the first step towards her. He took a seat at the feet of her bed and the dip of his weight made Brianna tear up.

“Are you real? Roger, are you here?”

Slowly, he reached out for her hand until he held it in his. “Aye, I am”

They came together in a crushing hug and Brianna let all her tears fall. After a while, they pulled away and Roger’s hand moved instinctly to her huge stomach. Her voice hitched and she started to ramble “I...I’m sorry. I don’t know how much my mother told you. I…I’m keeping this and I don’t know if you…”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Roger interrupted. “I dinna care, Brianna. I dinna care. I am yours and ye are mine and this little one – no matter what – is ours. I make ye a vow, this is a child of my blood and I will do everything I can to make sure yer safe and ye’ll both be fine.”

Brianna came close again for a hug and continued to sob happy tears.

Here.

Safe.

Fine.

Just as her Da promised.

“He gave you back to me” Bree whispered to Roger. “He made good on his word”

Even without context, Roger knew what she was talking about. “Aye, he did”

Bree pulled away from his hug, smiling. Roger looked at her and saw the light in her eyes that he knew he’d take away so soon. “Where is he? Where are they?” She was starting to get up, pull over a scarf and made a dash for the door when Roger quickly pulled her back.

“Bree” Roger called out and she already knew something was wrong. “Something happened when they pulled me out from the Cherokee. Please, sit down.” She did as told and held on to her belly.

“A lot transpired in between but in the end, Ian offered himself for my release, the Cherokee accepted the exchange and everything was settled. However, a small group wasna pleased….” He shrugged and hesitated, unable, really, to tell her how. “We didna see it coming”

“What are you saying?” Bree was so confused

“Jamie. He isn’t here. He’s…gone”

No.

Pain was, suddenly, all that Bree felt and she didn’t hear Roger say that how her mother tended to him all she could and did not hear his protests for her not to go out the yard in a chilly night in her condition.

Tears swelled from her eyes and this time, not from joy. She quickly got up and headed downstairs to her mother.

Oh god, her mother.

If she felt pain like this from a man she just knew, how was her mother faring losing the man she craved for got twenty years.

She came out the door to find to an empty yard save only the cart, her mother and the lifeless form of her father. Claire was lying on her side, looking and caressing Jamie’s face, the only part of his body that isn’t covered by a blanket. Bree saw her mother’s eyes retreat to something she’d seen thousands of times before back in their own time – it was blank, tearless, completely dazed and completely lost.

Bree ran towards them but her mother didn’t even shoot her a look as she came. She had to put her hands on her mouth to keep her from screaming as the reality of her father’s death consumed her.

She couldn’t climb the cart but the plank was low and she can see and reach for him.

“Da!” Bree called as she tried to look for his hand to touch. “Da!!” she said, breaking, as she finally found his hand under the blanket and its coldness made her more heartbroken. He really was gone and she let her tears freely fall.

“It’s not your fault” her mother finally said. Bree didn’t know if it was for her, for Jamie or herself – or maybe it was all of them.

“He wanted you to know that it isn’t your fault, that you shouldn’t blame yourself for all this. He made me promise to tell you that he doesn’t regret trying to bring Roger back to you because he knew he kept his word and he knew ye’d be happy and he’s happy that you’re happy. He wanted you to know that he loves you very much, his words are not enough to describe it. He thanks you for giving him a chance to be a father and wants you to know that being with you, being able to see you and spend time with you in the last weeks has meant so much to him. All he hopes is that you find it in your heart to forgive him for the pain he’s caused you to absolve his soul.” Claire revealed, stating Jamie’s last words for Bree while still looking and caressing Jamie’s face. It wasn’t lost on Bree that her mother was unable to look at her.

“Mama, I’m – “ Bree paused, sure how any of her words will help but she needed her mother to know. "I'm sorry."

Claire was unmoved but continued to speak. “I tried to keep him alive and he tried to live until we got back here just so he can see you and say these things himself but there was just too much” Claire paused, stunned. “There was nothing else I could do in this time to save him.”

Silence followed between them, unable to say or do anything really, but grieve on their own for a while as they processed what just happened. After a while, her mother spoke again.  

“Bree, can you please go back to Roger inside please?” Bree understood that her mother was holding it back until she was alone finally let her pain and sorrow show. Although Bree was heartbroken for causing this much pain, what killed her more is knowing that she let true love be separated again and this time it is for good.

She went back to her room and found Roger seated in one of the big, plushy chairs. She immediately climbed to Roger’s lap and clung to him as they heard Claire try to muffle her loud cries by burying herself in Jamie’s body.

Fin.

A/N: Okay, this fic came about because I really didn't like how the writers wrote the Fraser Family confrontation in 4x10 and how Jamie and Claire acted towards each other in 4x11. For 4x10, they skipped the fire cuddle scene with Jamie and Bree and immediately went to the confusion reveal. What I didn't like in the episode is when Brianna hit Jamie and retreated to calling him by his first name and her deliberately excluding him from her life at the Ridge. And in all these CLAIRE was just STANDING ASIDE and ALLOWED it to happen and the gap to flourish. She didn't to anything to defend her husband to her daughter, nor, for some reason, tried to understand her husband or make her husband understand by calmly pointing out where he was wrong.

Brianna's anger is valid but it kills me that the writers didn't allow for much room for a little understanding since there were lies and deception from ALL characters in this scenario. Claire's distance was so uncharacteristic. All I am saying is IT COULD'VE BEEN HANDLED BETTER.

In 4x11, Claire just stood there even though she knew Jamie was hurting. Claire very much knew that Jamie is mad at himself more for this ‘Roger thing’ rather than the ‘Stephen Bonnet lie’. The Frasers have been in situations like this before in their marriage and never did they ever choose silence before over confrontation. Hence, so much disconnect happening to these characters. 

Bottomline, I'm just sad, angry and heartbroken with these episodes and this fic stemmed out. I thought Claire and Bree doesn't deserve Jamie and Jamie doesn't deserve this isolation from his lasses too. So I made their anger pay with their grief.

Thank you for reading. I'm shocked that you still do or did. This is my first time attempting to write a death fic and as always, would love your feedback to improve my writing.

[stillthewordgirl]

LOT/CC fic: Somewhere On Your Road Tonight (ch. 12 of 16)

Sara and Leonard made a life for themselves, together in 1958, after the Waverider left them, Ray and Kendra behind. But now they're back on the ship, Mick has been twisted into Chronos, Kendra is pregnant, and Savage is still out there. They'll deal--together. (Sequel to "Chances Are.")

The second of the "River of Time" chapters! Turns out Leonard couldn't completely avoid everything that happened to him in the original(?) timeline.

Many thanks to LarielRomeniel for the beta! This can also be read here at AO3 or here at FF.net.

Leonard’s wanted Savage defeated since he first saw Rip’s image of his city in flames, over the rooftops of Central City that fateful day.

He’s wanted Savage dead since the day the warlord threatened to kill Mick, not so long into their mission.

The way he feels now combines both those feelings and still makes them pale in comparison.

He pauses outside the brig and takes a few deep, steadying breaths, recalling every lesson learned though decades of being Lewis Snart’s son. He has a certain scary conviction that Lewis and Savage are more similar than anyone else might consider.

But he considers. He considers for a long few moments.

And then he saunters into the brig, head held high.

Savage isn’t facing him. The warlord is leaning against the wall, facing away. “Dr. Stein,” he starts in his oozing voice, starting to turn, “I told you, I…”

He stops when he sees his visitor, though, and Leonard thinks there’s actually a flicker of surprise there. Interesting. Leonard halts, folding his arms and regarding Savage with a mildly interested but unenthused expression. He doesn’t speak.

Savage doesn’t let on to anything past that second of surprise, though. He finishes turning, studying the thief intently, and then smiles.

“Ah,” he says, folding his hands in front of himself. “Mr. Snart. I will confess, I was not expecting a visit from you.”

Leonard tilts his head and lifts an eyebrow. It’s an invitation to continue, and Savage takes it.

“The others, certainly.” The warlord takes a deliberate step closer, then another. “They have questions, or they simply want to gawk.” The smile grows. “You, however, do not seem the sort to fall prey to such…prosaic concerns.”

Leonard smirks at him. He knows an attempt to flatter when he hears it. He wants no part of that from Vandal Savage, but he knows how to play the game.

“What can I say?” he drawls with a shrug. “I do tend to be curious.”

Savage inclines his head, keeping his eyes on Leonard.

“Well, I’m glad,” he says. “I think, perhaps, that we have more in common than the rest of this…” he waves a hand, “…motley collection Captain Hunter has assembled.”

Leonard’s eyes narrow before he can stop himself. “We’re nothing alike,” he says a bit sharply, then, cursing his reaction, smooths it out a bit. “For one thing, I’m out here.” Another tilt of his head toward Savage, locked in the brig. “And you…well.”

Oh, the other man doesn’t like that. His eyes narrow, too, before he also attempts to hide it. “But you have to know that none of this group of so-called heroes would hesitate to put you in here as well, in any other circumstance,” he said smoothly. “For simply being what you are. Something far more pragmatic and far less holier-than-thou than they are.” He spreads his hands out. “A survivor.”

He’s good. There’s just enough truth in there that once, it might have even hit a nerve. But Leonard’s been through more than he thinks Savage knows, with this team and particularly three other members of it, and he’s not the person he used to be either. Still, it seems best to play along, a little. He gives Savage a thin smile, one that could be read as agreement or simply understanding.

“Indeed,” he drawls, studying his nails. “And you’re good at that, too, aren’t you? In a manner of speaking.” He looks up, suddenly. “Too good to get trapped here so easily, I’d think.”

Savage stares, then smiles back, a similar expression, thin and considering. He waits.

And Leonard continues. “So, I’m thinking,” he says casually, starting to pace in an equally insouciant manner, “that you might just want to be here.” He turns, ambling slowly back to the left, not looking at Savage. “And I’ll admit, I’m wondering why.”

Stop. Turn. He finally looks back at the man in the brig.

Savage’s expression isn’t quite what he’d expected. He’d expected anger, or maybe surprise. Consternation, maybe. A combination of all three.

But, no. No, Savage looks thrilled. Like he’s found himself someone who gets it.

“Well. Well. Well,” the other man says. “I think we need to have a talk, Mr. Snart. I think maybe we can come to…a mutually beneficial agreement.” A pause. “Let me out, and we’ll talk. I think the Time Masters could use a clever and pragmatic man like yourself.”

And then he smiles. A big smile. A commiserating one.

It turns Leonard’s stomach, actually. He resists the wave of nausea, though, and keeps his expression steely, watching Savage, trying to decide how to play this. In some ways, Savage just confirmed something, but he needs more information. And letting Savage out won’t be good for anyone.

But neither would allowing things to continue as they are.

Leonard makes himself take one step closer to the door of the brig, the warlord’s eyes on him avidly. Then he pauses, as if considering something.

“Tell me first,” he says casually, looking at Savage. “Confirm that I’m right. That you’re working with the Time Masters.” He pauses again. “I need to hear that. Before I commit.” He lets his eyes drift to the lock. “Because if I do this…I’m committed.”

Savage studies him, his face giving nothing away. Then he starts to speak…

Raymond almost skids into the brig, like he’s been running, coming to a halt a few feet from Leonard and pulling himself up, like he’s been entrusted with a very important task. He doesn’t even look at Savage, but he grins at Leonard as if the other man has given him a very surprising gift.

“I have your back,” he tells Leonard staunchly. “I’m sorry; it took Sara a few more minutes to find me. I was…”

Leonard holds up a hand, and Raymond stops. He’d actually just about forgotten he’d asked Sara to send the other man for backup, a measure of how uneasy he was about Savage, so this is his fault, really, he thinks. There’s not even any point in blaming Raymond. More’s the pity.

For a moment, both he and Savage stare at the scientist, whose grin flags just a little.

Then Savage sighs, just a bit dramatically, and shakes his head.

“Oh, Dr. Palmer,” he says almost pityingly. “Incredibly bad timing as usual.”

Leonard can’t disagree, but Raymond’s chin goes up and he looks at his teammate as if expecting a defense. When Leonard shrugs, he rolls his eyes and looks back at Savage.

“Well,” he retorts, “could be worse. I’m out here and you’re in there, after all.”

Leonard closes his eyes with a sigh, bidding farewell to any hopes of getting more out of Savage. The warlord is focused on Raymond now, a sly smile on his face…and, oh crap, this probably isn’t good at all.

“You…now, you, I’ve been expecting for a while now,” he says a bit mockingly to the scientist. “I’m surprised it’s taken you so long, to be honest.”

Raymond starts to speak again, but Savage talks right over the top of him. “Here to ask how to free your rival’s mind, are you?” He smirks as Leonard and Raymond stare at him. “The moment I release him, you know, you will lose her forever. We're actually quite alike, you and I.”

He leers at them both…but as the silence continues and Leonard and Raymond keep staring at him, that expression flags a little. Then it vanishes, and Savage’s eyes narrow in ire.

It occurs to Leonard that they could use this. Things are clearly different than Savage—just like Chronos—had been led to believe they would be. He whips his head around to look at his teammate, his own eyes narrowed.

“Raym…” he starts to say warningly.

But it’s too late. Raymond finds his voice—and laughs at Savage, an amused sound that also manages an edge of scorn.

“Wow,” he tells the captive. “You’re really behind the times. And what makes you think Carter’s even on this ship?”

Savage takes a step closer to the clear barrier. Leonard sees something flash through his eyes—dismay, rage, consternation. A plan pops into his head, then. Probably not a good idea—OK, definitely not a good idea—but sometimes you gotta roll the dice.

“Chay-Ara would never…” Savage starts.

“First, she’s not Chay-Ara now. She’s Kendra. Second, that wasn’t even Carter, or the version of Khufu she knew,” Raymond informs him. “Third…”

Leonard steps in before the altogether-too-forthcoming scientist can spill even more beans than he has. “I think,” he says smoothly, “that we need…more information.” He gives Raymond a look. The other man’s eyes widen, and he gives Leonard a solemn look in return, but Leonard’s already studying Savage again.

“Raymond,” he says quietly. “Go away.”

“Yeah…what?” But then Raymond nods, jerkily, and takes a step back as Leonard glances over. “Oh. Um. OK.” He looks at Savage. And then smirks. Widely. “OK.”

Leonard’s almost proud at the sheer un-Raymond-like attitude. But he waits another long moment for the other man to leave before looking back at Savage. The warlord is staring after the scientist with an expression that looks part baffled and part enraged.

“So,” Leonard drawls, dragging Savage’s attention back to him, “where were we?”

Savage stares at him a moment, then steps closer to the glass. “The man named Carter Hall,” he says. “He isn’t on this ship?”

Leonard considers lying, just for a moment. “Nope,” he drawls, though, folding his arms. “I mean, he was, at best, a reincarnation of Carter Hall. And he was a real asshat.” Savage actually snorts, and Leonard smirks. But he doesn’t say anything more about that.

Instead, he redirects the conversation again. “We were talking,” he says casually, stepping closer. “And…?”

Savage regards him. “Let me out,” he says finally. “I need a gesture too. Before I give you anything.”

Leonard regards him in return. Then he pulls his cold gun out of his holster and primes it, pushing it to the highest setting.

This is a bad idea. This is a very bad idea. But every instinct in him says they’re on their way to disaster at the Vanishing Point. And the need to stand between that and Sara…and frankly, all the others…is strong indeed. If he can get anything, anything at all, out of Savage…well, he’ll do it.

He hesitates a moment…and then slaps the lock to the brig, opening the door.

Savage steps out, face solemn, eyes bright and altogether too pleased. Leonard points the cold gun at him, grimly, watching him intently for any sign of the trouble he’s sure is coming.

“OK,” he grits out. “You’re out. Tell me. What are the Time Masters up to?”

Savage smiles, holding his hands out to either side. “I’ll admit, I’m still wondering,” he says smoothly. “You were…not a visitor I expected. I thought, at first, that perhaps it was just that native pragmatism, that you saw how the wind was blowing and came to make a deal.” He takes a step toward Leonard. “But. I wonder.”

Leonard’s eyes narrow. He raises his gun a little, aiming it right at the warlord, the blue light reflected in Savage’s eyes. “This wasn’t the deal. I want to know about the Time Masters.”

Savage continues as if he hadn’t spoken. “From everything I know of you, Mr. Snart, you’re not one to care about anyone other than yourself. Not much, anyway. Your partner the arsonist, perhaps, to some extent.” He tilts his head. “But. Something has changed. Hasn’t it? Well, well. And how did that happen?” His smile grows even slyer. “You care for someone on this crew of losers.”

Leonard steps forward before he can stop himself, hand tightening on the cold gun’s trigger. “Talk or get back in the goddamned brig,” he hisses. “I just want to know the truth.”

“It’s not Chay-Ara. Or the scientist,” Savage muses, continuing his thought. “Certainly not the captain.” A light appears in his eyes. “Ah. The assassin. Oooh, Mr. Snart. She is lovely. Is that what you want, then? You want the Time Masters to give her to you. In exchange for…”

The very idea is both absurd and stomach-churching, and Leonard can’t keep this up any longer. “Don’t you even say her name,” he snaps, unable to keep the fury from his tone. “You…

But he’s distracted now, angry and disgusted, and it’s enough. Savage takes the chance, lunging like a striking snake and grabbing the cold gun, wrenching it around. Leonard catches himself quickly enough to fight him for it, but while they’re grappling for the gun, Savage gets a hand on the trigger and a spray of blue-white energy emits from it, freezing an icy path across the ceiling, the wall, and…

And, as Savage gives the weapon another jerk, across Leonard’s right hand.

He yells, but it’s not like it hurts. Not at first. It’s too much of a shock, a jarring sensation of extreme cold and then numbness. More than numbness, really, though that’s how his brain processes it. Because at that setting, the hand isn’t even living flesh anymore; it’s already shreds of dead, frozen tissue encased in ice. There’s no saving it, and he can’t think about that right now, he can’t, he’s still fighting Savage as best he can.

But the blast was a shock to his system, and no matter how he tries to hang onto the gun with his other hand, his body and his brain have other ideas, like shutting down and curling up to figuratively lick his wounds. Savage yanks the gun away, laughing triumphantly, and…

Raymond crashes back into the brig, in his Atom suit, hand out and energy beam blasting forward to strike the surprised Savage full on, smashing the warlord across the room and into the wall. He drops like a stone, unconscious, the cold gun skittering across the floor in a way that would irritate Leonard if he wasn’t trying desperately to stay conscious despite the shock. It still doesn’t quite hurt; he’s pretty sure that will come later as things start… thawing…

Raymond studies Savage for a second, then apparently decides the man is truly down for the count and looks at Leonard instead. Leonard, glancing upward as a cold sweat breaks out on his forehead, sees Raymond’s eyes widen as he steps forward.

“Oh,” he breathes. “Oh, crap. Snart…”

Leonard knows he probably owes the scientist his life, but he’s not up for admitting that just yet. “You…coulda…busted in here…sooner,” he pants, curled protectively around the hand that is no longer really a hand.

“I went and got my suit, just in case; I’ve only been back a moment and I didn’t realize you were in trouble at first.” There’s distress in the scientist’s eyes as Leonard peers up at him. “Let’s get you to the medbay.”

“We need…to get Savage…back in the cell first.”

“You can’t…”

That’s when Rip runs into the room, his gun in his hand, although he puts on the brakes immediately to take in the scene in front of him. Relief at the sight of Savage out of commission resolves into dismay at the sight of Leonard and his hand…and faint irritation that seems to be directed at Raymond.

“Bloody hell,” he says with an explosive sigh. “Gideon said Vandal Savage was free. Dr. Palmer, do you realize…”

“I didn’t let him out!” the other man protests. “It was…ah…”

The room’s starting to swim in front of Leonard’s eyes, and the line where living flesh meets frozen is starting to, it seems, register what’s happened. He puts his shoulder against the wall, closing his eyes and fighting nausea and a rising tide of pain, then forces them open again.

“Don’t blame him, Rip,” he mutters. “It was me.”

The look of consternation on Rip’s face would be amusing if he was in a little better condition. Leonard shakes his head roughly, trying to clear his head. He can’t even manage his usual smirk.

“I’m going to presume that you weren’t trying to set him loose on all of us, but then what…” The captain stops himself and sighs. “But not now. Let’s get you to the medbay and get you fixed up.”

There’s only so much fixing that’s going to be possible, and Leonard doesn’t want to think about it. “Who’s flying the ship?” he mutters, watching as Rip and Raymond drag the still-senseless Savage into the brig and close the door securely. “Thought there was enough damage you needed someone on the bridge.”

“Ms. Lance, actually,” the captain tells him, dusting his hands off and scowling at Savage’s prone figure through the clear barrier. “With Gideon’s assistance.”

“Huh.” Leonard closes his eyes again. He’s starting to gray out…and he’s pretty sure he’s going to lose the battle against it soon.

“Good,” he slurs. “Good. Most competent person on this…bucket…”

And that’s when he passes out.

When Leonard wakes up again, there’s no more pain. Except for some residual grogginess, his head is clear, though there’s the sort of distance he associates with good painkillers, the kind he rarely allows himself to take.

And he doesn’t have a right hand.

Leonard tilts his head and studies the stump clinically, glad for the distance granted by drugs, for once. While he was out, someone must have melted what remained of the hand and trimmed the dead flesh away, which wouldn’t have been a pleasant process. The line of amputation otherwise seems to be clean. Odd.

He’s in a medbay-type chair, slightly reclined, and his right arm is resting, lightly strapped down, on a low table next to it. Above the stump, there’s a suspended, thin cylinder that’s glowing glue and pointed downward. He’s only started studying it, though, when Rip bustles into the room, Mick right behind him.

“Ah, you are awake!” The captain nods to him, then starts tapping at a screen nearby. “This will just be a moment, Mr. Snart. We’ve slowed our approach just for you, I’ll have you know. Thought you’d want to go through this first, given your trepidation about the Vanishing Point.”

Leonard frowns at him, but he’s also distracted by Mick, who’s standing there at the foot of the chair, glaring at him in a way in which Leonard’s pretty sure he’s glared at Mick after any number of particularly foolish moves over the years.

“You’re an idiot,” Mick tells his friend, tone harsh in a way that Leonard knows perfectly well hides other feelings.

Well, things may be different now, but Leonard’s not really up for having that talk at the moment. “No argument,” he says, resting his head back against the chair. “Ship OK? I mean, we’re apparently not dead.”

Rip ignores him. Mick scowls. “Not for lack of trying,” he mutters, then repeats: “Idiot.”

Leonard gives him a long-suffering look, then blinks, remembering the state of other things before his own debacle with Savage. “Wait. How’s the kid?”

“Jax? Gone.” Mick waves a hand as Leonard’s eyes widen. “Not like that. Me an’ the professor sent him back to 2016 to save his life. Should work.”

“Good.” Well, at least one of them might get out of this alive.

“Well, not for the professor.” However, Mick continues before Leonard can ask about that. “You’re a lucky bastard, Snart. But you still gotta face the music for being a dumbass.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a stupid move. I…”

“No. I meant Blondie. She’s gonna be in here next.” Mick grins evilly as Leonard closes his eyes. “Have fun. I suggest groveling.”

“I don’t grovel.” He hates the whine in his own voice, but frankly, it’s been a rough day. Mick just chuckles, shakes his head, and leaves.

“Oh, given Ms. Lance’s ire, I think you might want to consider it.” Rip claps his hands together. “Especially since you’re going to be a captive audience for the next little while. Gideon, start the regeneration process.”

The pen thing starts to glow more. Leonard eyes it, and Rip, with uncertainty. “What do you mean by ‘regeneration?’” He’d make a Doctor Who joke if he was in a better mood. As it is, he’s feeling a quiver of hope he didn’t suspect was possible.

“I took genetic samples from each of you at the start of our voyage,” the captain tells him almost cheerfully, “for this exact eventuality.”

It’s a little disconcerting, that Rip thought it was that possible this would be necessary. A spray of blue light is now emitting from the pen thing, spilling onto the stump of Leonard’s right arm. He stares at it, feeling his skin prickle.

“Why am I only hearing about this now?” he drawls, glancing at the captain.

Rip actually smiles. “Because none of you had lost a limb yet.”

Good point. Leonard watches in fascination as the light grows stronger, and then: “Ow.”

It’s like it’s a 3-D printer, but for flesh and bone. And it seems like it should actually be hurting far more than it is, considering that there’s now a skeletal hand protruding from the blunt termination of his wrist. And the sight’s both creepy and incredible, but it’s not like that for long—next is a network of nerves and blood vessels, muscles, and then skin, over the top of it all like a blank slate, scars he’s had for decades gone as it they’d never been there.

The entire process takes seconds. Leonard’s new fingers twitch involuntarily as he stares at them. He’d forced himself not to think about what life would hold for a thief without his dominant hand, and this…this is a miracle unlooked for. He’s not sure what to do with it.

Rip chuckles, the sound full of pleasure in the tricks his beloved ship has up her metaphorical sleeve. In a smooth motion, he tosses something toward Leonard, and the other man catches it involuntarily—a stress ball, the sort used to exercise injured or weak hands or wrists.

“Stay here until you’re sure you’re steady,” the captain instructs. “You’ve had a great many shocks to your system.” The smile goes a little sly. “And, as Mr. Rory said, you have to face the music.”

Leonard stares after him as he tries to tell his hand to contract its fingers around the ball. He’s still watching the door when Sara stalks in.

He’s already mentally rehearsing what he’s going to say to her, but that all flies out the window when he gets a good look. He’d expected anger and irritation for doing such a dumb thing—and those emotions are there, in spades. He deserves them, and he knows that.

But as she steps closer, he can see Sara’s eyes are red-rimmed, the bright blue even brighter in contrast with her skin. She’s been crying. About him? Or is something else…

“What’s wrong?” he blurts out uncharacteristically.

Sara’s eyes narrow. Oops.

“You’re an idiot,” she tells him, voice matter-of-fact.

“Mick has informed me of that fact.” Leonard pauses, searching for the right thing to say. “I’m sorry?”

Sara rolls her eyes at him, pulling up a chair and taking a seat. “You better be,” she mutters, inspecting his hand, which is resting again on the table. “That’s incredible.”

Leonard tries to get his fingers to flex again and is pleased when they respond, mostly. “Yeah. I’ll admit that. I owe ol’ Rip.”

Sara eyes him again. She’s all too obviously not going to let herself be distracted. “ ‘What’s wrong,’” she repeats carefully. “Did you really mean that?”

Leonard blinks at her. “Yes? Mick said Stein found a way to save Jax. Is there something…”

He lets his voice trail off. Given the look Sara’s giving him, it seems the best thing to do.

She sits back in her chair a moment and studies him, then shakes her head. “Do you have any idea,” she says carefully. “what you looked like when Mick carried you into the medbay earlier?”

“No?”

“You were unconscious, pale as…as ice. And your hand…” Sara takes a deep breath. “It was melting. And there were…rags…of dead skin, blackened flesh, hanging off your arm. It was…I’ve seen some rough things, Leonard. This was…it was bad. And what was there was rough, jagged, and…” She let her voice trail off then. “Gideon sedated you so you wouldn’t wake up in the middle of it, and Stein helped walk me through…cleaning things up.”

Leonard swallows hard. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that.” Sara glares at him. “What on earth possessed you to let Savage out? You kept saying he was a danger to all of us. What…”

“I thought I could get him to tell me what he was up to. ‘Cause it turned out he thought I was there to throw my lot in with his.” He gives her a thin smile as she swears. “I’m a villain, after all.”

“You’re more than that, and everyone on this ship but Vandal Savage knows it.” Sara studies him. “Still a stupid thing to do.”

“Indubitably.”

“You tried to play him.” She shakes her head. “And he used me against you. Yeah, Gideon gave us access to the video records. I heard it. He distracted you.”

The last thing—one of the last things—Leonard wants is for her to blame herself in any shape or form. “If it wasn’t you, it would have been something else,” he admits. “The minute I let him out of the brig. But…”

“But Savage worries you that much.”

“Yeah.” He hesitates. “He came pretty close to confirming that he’s working with the Time Masters, even if I didn’t get him to say it point blank. Did Rip see that?”

Sara sighs. “After the fact, yes. But it didn’t change anything. He thinks this is our only option.” She stands, then, and holds a hand out to him, and Leonard knows he’s (mostly) forgiven. He slips his left hand into hers, levering himself upward with a grunt, and has to pause to fight back vertigo. After a moment, they start back into the hallway, though Sara steers him in the direction of the bridge instead of their room.

“We’re almost to the Vanishing Point,” she says quietly. “I think we both probably want to see what happens.”

Leonard would really like to lie down, which seems silly given that he’s apparently spent a good deal of time unconscious recently. But Sara’s right about that.

“Hear you flew the ship,” he says, trying to make his tone light, glancing over at her.

“Yeah.” Sara’s lips curve. “Not a thing I’d ever thought I’d want to do. But I enjoyed it.”

“Told our captain you were the most competent person on this ship.” He chuckles a little as she lifts an eyebrow at him. “And then I passed out. That’s one way to get the last word around here.”

“Yeah, well, don’t you ever try it on me.”

All of the others are on the bridge, all watching the viewscreen, when they enter. Leonard ignores Raymond’s enthusiastic greeting and requests to see his new hand and nods in acknowledgement of Stein and Kendra’s pleased welcome—and Mick’s still-irritated grunt. He sits with alacrity in one of the jump seats, trying not to look like he’s exhausted from walking just the distance from the medbay to the bridge.

“Is that…” Sara starts, stepping closer to where Rip is sitting, staring out the viewscreen. Leonard looks, too. The odd, complicated jumble of black structures there at the supposed edge of the timeline is like nothing he’s ever seen before, but…

He shakes his head roughly as a shiver runs down his spine.

“Welcome to the Vanishing Point,” Rip tells them.

And Leonard feels…

The closest thing he can think of is the start of a panic attack. The breathless feeling of something-not-right-something-horribly-wrong, the way his heart starts racing, the chill that overtakes him. He drags in a deep breath, trying to regain control. None of the others seem to notice…well, except for Mick, who’s watching him with narrowed eyes.

“I can't believe we made it,” Stein is saying.

Sara hums in agreement, then pauses. There’s a slight hitch in the ship’s motion, and Leonard feels it too, but he’s focusing too much on regulating his breathing to say anything.

“Did you just lose control of the ship?” she asks.

“Yeah, that might have something to do with us being the most wanted time criminals in all of history.” Rip hops up from the captain’s chair, smiling as if he hadn’t just said something rather alarming.

As he does so, a man’s face appears on their viewscreen, stern and unfamiliar.

“Timeship Waverider, we've taken control of your guidance systems,” he announces. “Disable your weapons and prepare to be boarded.”

Rip chuckles. “Oh, it's good to be home.”

The other Time Master pauses. “Captain Hunter,” he says. “This is…unexpected.”

“Well, I have a reputation to maintain, don't I?” Rip smiles at him. “And I hereby request an immediate assembly of the Time Council in accordance with General Order 52.”

“So you've returned to answer for your crimes?”

“No. I'm here to justify them.”

They’re at the Vanishing Point now. There’s only so much they can do, even if Leonard’s right and this is all going to go downhill fast.

Sara makes sure she has an array of knives tucked around her person—but then, she always does. She doesn’t miss that Leonard immediately goes to the armory to find his cold gun, double-checking it before holstering it securely at his side.

But then they both return to their room. If everything does all to hell, they want to be together.

The others had disappeared to their own various pursuits when Rip had left the ship. Sara sighs as she looks around the room, trying to figure out if there’s anything more they can do. She hates waiting.

Leonard, who’s still edgy in a way that’s clearly nerves, scoops their deck of cards up from the desk and waves it at her. And it seems like there would be worse things.

It’s not a good game, though. He’s jumpy and unhappy, and he keeps flexing the fingers of his right hand like he can’t believe they’re there. For her part, Sara keeps seeing, in her mind’s eye, what Leonard had looked like when she’d entered the brig only…what, a few hours ago? They’re both distracted, and they’re not playing well, and…

Leonard’s head jerks up again, the third time in maybe a minute.

“Did you hear that?” he asks, eyes darting around.

She hadn’t, actually. “Don't try to distract me.”

Another moment passes. Leonard suddenly gets to his feet, crossing to the door, listening intently. “We need to find somewhere to hide.”

Sara sits down her cards and cautiously joins him. “Could we fight our way out?” she asks carefully. She can’t hear whatever he seems to be hearing. Which is odd, actually.

But Leonard shakes his head emphatically. “No,” he says, then reaches out to take her hand. “C’mon.”

Sara lets him take it but raises her voice. “Gideon, warn the others!”

Only silence greets her words.

[captain-kingliamsqueen]

I Can’t Let Myself Be Hurt Again

Part 3 of Life Before Him

This part was so difficult to write, I basically cried the whole time!

READ WITH CAUTION!!! THIS PART HAS SOME STRONG ANGST AND MENTIONS SELF HARM AND SUICIDE!! 

Self-harm is a very serious issue caused by many different factors, most people find it hard to talk about, I just want to say that if anyone ever needs help…please ask…please, please ask! Whether it be a stranger or someone you know! Help is there for you, there are lots of different ways you can receive help, call centres, friends and family, strangers.

I’m always just a message away if anyone needs an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on!

Don’t listen to what anyone else tells you...YOU MATTER...YOU ARE LOVED!

CATCH UP!

Part 1

Part 2

Pairing: Liam x Riley  

 Summary: Riley's makes a decision that effects both her and the people around her?

 Word Count: 2088

 Tagged : @starstruckzonkoperatorbat @drakelover78 @queencatherynerhys @devineinterventions2 @jayjay879 @pens-girl-87 @kawairinrin @hopefulmoonobject @flyawayblue56 @gardeningourmet @blackcatkita @syltti78 @decisso @theroyalweisme @hhiggs @mfackenthal @bruteforcebears

  ASK IF YOU WANT TAGGED! SORRY IF I MISSED ANYONE! (USED THE TAGS FROM MY “ALWAYS” SERIES LET ME KNOW IF ANYONE WANTS UNTAGGED!!!)

 Liam was down in his study which was just two doors down from his and Riley's apartment in the palace. He was startled when he heard a scream then something smashing. He quickly stood from his desk rushing out of the room and down the corridor. He made his way into the apartment and along to their bedroom…He tried to twist the handle but the door wouldn’t budge.

“Riley?!” he called banging his fists on the door. As soon as Bastian heard the noise he came running down the hall

“your Majesty! Is everything alright?!” he panicked

“don’t worry Bastian…I’ve got it” Liam sighed

“of course,” he nodded understandingly then headed back the way he came. Liam turned back to the door and started banging on it again.

“Riley!” he shouted, “Riley please open the door!”

“why” she cried “why would they do that!? W-why would they leave me like that!?” she sobbed

“Riley…sweetheart” he said just loud enough for her to hear “I know…I don’t know mentally what you’re going through but if you let me in, we can talk, let me help you riley”

“no…wh-why would anyone want to help me…I’m worthless…my own parents didn’t even want me…why would anyone else” she blubbered, he felt his heart breaking a little, hearing how she spoke about herself

“hey…you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for Riley, your friends love you, I love you, we all love you so much”

“stop! Stop saying that!! You’re all just going to do the same as they did…you’re going to get m-my hopes up…then you’re going to l-leave me…b-but I c-can’t let m-myself…b-be hurt again…I-I’m so sorry L-Liam” she started to hyperventilate.

“Riley!!!” Liam shouted panicking when he heard her moving, all her could hear was her crying and throwing things around…he banged his fists on the door, then he heard a scattering on the floor as if she had dropped beads or something of that size then the tap started running.

“Riley!!! RILEY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!”

“I-I love you Liam” she cried as she moved from their bathroom to the bedroom.

“Riley move away from the door I’m coming in!!”

“y-you can t-try but…you’ll be too late” Liam stood back, lifting his leg and forcing his foot into the door with all of his might. The door flew open, banging against the chest of draws just beside it. When he got the door open he ran straight for Riley who was balled up next to the bed with her back to him, he fell to his knees pulling her into his hold with his arms wrapped around her and her back against his chest her hands covered her face. Her hands were bleeding from her nails digging into her palms so much when she was clenching her fists. Liam sat holding her as tight as he could when he looked up he got a straight line of sight to the bathroom…thats when he panicked…painkillers…all over the floor.

“Riley? how many did you take?”

“enough t-to take the p-pain away” she cried “how could they leave me?” he held her back to his chest. Riley started to become hazy…not responding as fast as she normally would

“Riley…Riley talk to me!!! How many did you take?” the tears started to fall from Liam's eyes…overwhelmed with everything happening before him. “BASTIAN!! BASTIAN! GET THE PHYSICIAN!!” Liam shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Riley sweetheart, I love you so much, I need you to stay awake for me honey…” he whispered then she closed her eyes and stopped responding.

“BASTIAN!!”

Just a few minutes later Bastian entered with the physician on his tail, the two instantly fell to their knees beside the couple.

“what happened?” the physician asked as he lay Riley down on the floor

“I think she took pain killers…a lot of them…I-I don’t know how many…she wouldn’t tell me!”

“alright, we have to get her to the medical room now!” Bastian listed Riley enabling Liam to stand then they all rushed down to the medical room in the palace. Bastian placed Riley on the bed, where the doctor instantly connected a drip to her, to flood out any pills she had taken, he started taking blood tests and all sorts.

just a few minutes later the doctor had finished what he was  doing

“is she going to be alright?” Liam panicked

“I believe we got her help in time your Majesty…the painkillers didn’t have time to dissolve in her stomach yet meaning they haven’t reached her bloodstream…I have administered Naloxone which will stop the pills from dissolving and making their way into her bloodstream”

“when will she wake?”

“that’s entirely up to her, I would guess a few hours at least”

“okay…I have something I have to do…you call me…the second anything changes…no buts no ifs you call me no matter what!” he demanded

“of course,” the physician nodded

“Bastian…find her parents!” Bastian nodded then took his leave. Liam sat down in the seat next to the bed, he took her hand in his.

“I’ll just be along the hall if you need me” the physician stated then he left the room.

“Riley…” Liam sniffled as his tears ran down his face. “don’t you dare scare me like that again! I’ve never been so scared in my life…you are loved…you are so loved…and I’m going to spend the rest of my life…showing you how much I love you” he whispered before lifting her hand and kissing the back of it.

It was about forty-five minutes later that Bastian returned, he gently knocked on the door then entered.

“your Majesty…I found them…” Liam sat up straight, standing from his seat.

“have them taken to the safe house...”

“but y-”

“Bastian, I don’t care…get one of security to take them to the safe house. Get the car ready because you’re taking me there” Bastian looked at the king suspiciously then nodded

“of course, your majesty”

Liam followed Bastian from the room after kissing Riley's head, the two men headed outside to the car. Liam climbed into the passenger seat whilst Bastian climbed behind the wheel. They headed off towards the safehouse where they waited for about an hour for Riley's parents to turn up.

Once the car pulled up outside, Liam watched from the window as the couple climbed from the car then security brought them inside, locking the door behind him.

“where’s riley”

“what…no hi…no hey you must be our future son in law?” Liam asserted

“I’m sorry…what’s your name?”

“Liam…King Liam!”

“well it’s nice to meet you Liam…now where is Riley?”

“lovely…just lovely, where’s Riley? Let me tell you where Riley…your daughter…your flesh and blood is…she’s lying in a hospital…with a drip hanging out her flushing out the painkillers…she tried to overdose on! how dare you! HOW FUCKIN DARE YOU…COME INTO MY COUNTRY…OUR COUNTRY…OUR HOME! AND MAKE HER FEEL LIKE THAT…MAKE HER FEEL LIKE SHE ISNT WORTH SHIT! WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO MAKE ANYONE! …NEVERMIND YOUR OWN DAUGHTER FEEL LIKE THEY ARENT WORTH ANYTHING! NO ONE GAVE YOU THAT RIGHT! SHES YOUR DAUGHTER…AND YOU THREW HER TO THE WIND…IF YOU KNEW RILEY…YOU WOULD KNOW THAT SHE IS THE MOST AMAZING HUMAN BEING! SHE DESERVES THE WORLD, AND IM GOING TO MAKE SURE SHE GETS IT! DO YOU KNOW HOW DISGUSTING OF A PERSON THAT MAKES YOU TWO OF YOU…YOU HURT SOMEONE SO BAD…THEY TRIED TO HURT THEMSELVES…YOU ARE LUCKY WE GOT TO HER BEFORE ANY DAMAGE COULD BE DONE TO HER INSIDES! SHE COULD HAVE DIED! IF I HADNT HEARD HER CRYING…SHE MIGHT HAVE TAKEN MORE THAN SHE ALREADY DID…DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING? …DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE REPURCUTIONS OF YOUR ACTIONS…IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU DIDN’T SET OUT TO HURT HER THAT WAY…BUT YOU DID! IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER BECAUSE OF IT…HER BLOOD WOULD BE ON YOUR HANDS! …YOUR ACTIONS CAUSED HER A LOT OF PAIN…PAIN THAT SHE COULDN’T HANDLE!! YOU ARE DISGUSTING PEOPLE TO EVEN THINK THAT LEAVING YOUR DAUGHTER LIKE THAT WAS ANYWHERE NEAR ACCEPTABLE! SHE NEEDED YOU AND YOU WERENT THERE…YOU BETTER HOPE FOR YOUR OWN SAKE THAT SHE COMES OUT OF THIS ALRIGHT…BECAUSE IF ANYTHING ELSE HAPPENS TO HER…I WILL HUNT THE BOTH OF YOU DOWN…AND YOU’LL REGRET THE DAY YOU LEFT HER…THE DAY YOU CAME BACK AND EVERY FUCKIN DAY INBETWEEN!”

“who are you, to talk to us like that!”

“WHO AM I!? I AM THE FUCKIN KING…I AM YOUR DAUGHTERS FUTURE HUSBAND! YOU ARE IN MY COUNTRY…ON MY LAND! I WILL TALK YOU WHAT EVER WAY I DAMN PLEASE! WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES?”

“Lillian and Stewart Robertson”

“WELL MR AND MRS ROBERTSON! YOU ARE HERE BY EXCILED FROM STEPPING FOOT IN CORDONIA AGAIN…NOT UNTIL RILEY ALLOWS IT! IF SHE ONE DAY WANTS TO TALK WITH YOU THEN ON HER ORDERS, YOU MAY BE ALLOWED BACK BUT UNTIL THEN…YOU WILL PACK YOUR BAGS…AND YOU WILL BE ESCORTED TO THE AIRPORT WHERE YOU WILL BE PLACED ON A PLANE NEVER TO RETURN AGAIN!” Liam raged “Joseph” he addressed the guard that brought them to the safe house “take them back to their hotel…have them pack their things then get them to the airport…they have an hour to get their shit and get out!” Liam commanded. The guard nodded then escorted the couple out and into the car, Liam and Bastian watched as they drove away.

“Liam…are you alright?” Bastian asked as Liam's friend

“I will be, could you take me back to the palace please” he whispered trying to steady his breathing. The two headed back to the palace, after a 30 minute journey they arrived home. Liam climbed out of the car with Bastian on his tail, heading straight for the medical room. when he stepped into the room, he seen that Riley hadn’t woken yet. He stepped out of the room, calling for one of the maids.

“yes, your Majesty?” she bowed

“I need you to do something for me discreetly”

“anything” she assured

“I need you to go to my bedroom, in the apartment, and clean up, the en suite bathroom aswell…I know no one is permitted to go into the apartment other than myself and riley of course but there was an issue, some things got broken, now when I say discreet…I mean not a word is to be spoke…you are the only person permitted to enter the apartment, and anything seen In there must not be told to a soul, am I clear?”

“of course, not a word” the woman assured

“there is a photo on the floor, the frame was broken, please have it placed in a new one, and put on Riley's bedside table along with a bouquet of pink blooms, white lilies, pale pink gerberas and purple September flowers, those are her favourites”

“I will make sure everything is back to the way it was, if you need anything else, you know where ill be” she smiled sympathetically then headed off towards the apartment. Liam heard a noise coming from the medical room, he rushed in to see Riley waking up. He ran to her side taking her hand in his.

“hey sweetie” he whispered as he pulled the chair closer to the bed, he sat down never letting go on her hand.

“Liam” She croaked

“you scared the life out of me...I thought I was going to lose you…I thought…”

“I’m sorry” she whispered

“no! don’t you dare apologise…Riley, what matters is that the doctor said you’re going to be alright, that’s all that matters, I love you so much…I need you to know that, you are everything to me, you make me happier than…anything I’ve ever known and if I can have a part in making you happy again…that’s all I wanna do…for the rest of my life” he sniffled not bothering to wipe his eyes.

“I love you Liam…I’m sorry I scared you…I-I just…it hurts so much, all I could think about was stopping the pain”

“I know sweetie, I know…but I’m here for you, I will always be here for you I am not going anywhere, I will help you through this, I don’t care what I have to do, I’ll do it, we’ll do it…together.” He gently wiped her tears from her cheeks before pecking her lips. “just promise me… promise me that when you feel hurt and pain you will come and talk to me, I am here for you, I need you to know that no matter what, you come before everything…you are my priority. Let me try and help you through it. you may not realise it right now riley, but you are surrounded by people who love you dearly”

“I promise” she whispered

If you like it...Reblog it!

[ajabsusbjsbsbanns]

Warning for some mentions of sexual intimacy and also somewhat cp?.. the intimacy is not explicit by any means. however i go into detail on why their art is bad so just keep this in mind.

please consider reading this whole thing before jumping to a conclusion

(and im aware the screenshots above are somewhat out of context. this was going to be short but it isnt now)

hey! a deviantart user by the name of foxdragonlover drew nsfw art of spyro and cynder. there was some backlash and they had this to say. i really dont have nearly enough energy to read through this fucking novel of a post but i skimmed it. now please pay attanetion to these parts of the post.

“When i drew that picture of Spyro and Cynder, it came from a place of love and strong feelings.If someone draws art of those two as adults being more raw and wild, with the intent of just doing that as part of their story, that's normal!I can imagine Cynder growing into the type who is a little domineering in the sack, whilst Spyro would be more submissive and tender/attentive.These thoughts, through development and story when you treat characters as actual characters and not as pieces of meat, is fine.”

what theyre saying i that as long as they fleshed out the characters and dont just see them as moving pixels on a screen they have a right to draw porn of it because it’s “development”.

now please keep in mind that it has been said spyro in the original games is 12 years old. 

now although this doesnt tell us much. spyro is a child. he looks nothing like the other dragons in the game. hes closer in looks to the baby dragons in YotD that any of the elders. not to mention his voice is that of a child-teen. now yes. i understand that this is the original games.

“what about TLOS series you moron” you cry.

fear not. i have done some research on that as well.

in the first game of the legend of spyro series spyro is roughly 12 years old.

the wendy promotional toy that was released when the game was first out comes with a small tag that gives some insite into the characters of the TLOS series. 

now feel free to accuse me of editing these pictures. but you’ll see here that they are in fact real.

so what does this tell us? well.. not much i guess. however im not stopping here.

“yea yea spyro is 12. but stupid! he’s only 12 in the first game!”

alright. sure! youre correct in that spyro is 12 for the first game. however he is also twelve for the second. the second game happens almost immediatly after the first. meaning at most spyro is 13 for half of it. along side this, cynder is also the same age as him. same goes for sparx.

“well, but those arent DotD!”

You are correct! They arent! however they give us a clue on how old spyro, cynder and sparx are in the third game!

this comment on a game forum mentions that spyro is 15 in the third game.

“but lolbit you fuggin gnome! some dumb forum doesnt mean anything!”

Once again you are correct! it does not. however the poster on the forum is right. spyro is fifteen as per mentioned in this screenshot of the actual dialogue of the third game.

hunter mention 3 years having passed. which would mean spyro, cynder and sparx are in fact 15. 15 is not an adult. You should not be depicting a minor in sexual situations EVER. you should not be “aging up” a character for nsfw art. and you ESPECIALLY should not be doing this when you are a 23 year old. dont believe me? their Furaffinity account specifies their age here! please be warned there is NSFW art on their account.

now im sure youre asking why im throwing such a fuss over this. well dear reader, fae/fox refuses to awknowledge that they did anything wrong and they continue to argue that “its okay if theyre mature and ive written a story for them”. that of course was paraphrasing. however here is their exact words on the matter. “But when you take young characters that you love inside and out, and develop their lives and their relationships, and mold them into more mature characters (based around the premise of human emotions and sentience), that's normal.Drawing those grown characters doing mature things is normal.Projecting real life stuff onto characters, whether they're canonically only ever shown as children or as adults while working through their story, is normal.There is so much worse to harp on. “

please keep in mind that no where in this paragraph here is it mentioned that the characters are adults. they are stated to be mature. however, maturity does not = age. it means your maturity mentally. spyro is extremelly mature for a 15 year old. he saves the world and handles the fact that he was plucked from his home before he was hatched and was raised by a family that was not his blood family even though he is still a child. a MINOR. cynder handles her corruption and the fact that she was used as a tool for an evil master as well as she can. she’s extremelly mature for her age. but again, she is only 15.

now of course im expecting that legendary comment of

“dumpass. theyre fictional. duhhhh. they aren’t real”

and to you my dear friend I have some links for you to read. i personally would never be able to sum it up in words the way these posts have. here are some links about why fiction does in fact = reality at times.(and thank you to Jade for allowing me to use their blog for these links!)

click here, here, here, and here

now that youre done reading those, im going to analize the post created by fox/fae and discuss some of the points they made.

the first part i analized earlier im going to bring back again for one more talk.

“When i drew that picture of Spyro and Cynder, it came from a place of love and strong feelings.If someone draws art of those two as adults being more raw and wild, with the intent of just doing that as part of their story, that's normal! I can imagine Cynder growing into the type who is a little domineering in the sack, whilst Spyro would be more submissive and tender/attentive.These thoughts, through development and story when you treat characters as actual characters and not as pieces of meat, is fine.”

lets break this apart.

“When i drew that picture of Spyro and Cynder, it came from a place of love and strong feelings.If someone draws art of those two as adults being more raw and wild, with the intent of just doing that as part of their story, that's normal! “.

it does not matter if it came from a place of love. what you’re literally saying is you had strong feelings to draw spyro and cynder having sex. thats the raw of it. and yes. it is normal and okay if you would like to draw two consenting adults in a time of intimacy. however you did not draw two adults. theyre children. minors.

“But when you take young characters that you love inside and out, and develop their lives and their relationships, and mold them into more mature characters (based around the premise of human emotions and sentience), that's normal.“

i already discussed the maturity thing. you have not yet called them adults. you said mature. which more or less translates to “im too scared to admit that i didnt age them up. theyre still minors in the picture”. this is scurting around the problem rather than addressing it. and no im not addressing the next part of the paragraph. no one asked your personal views on how tender and soft a literal minor would be during intercourse. and again. they are minors. the characters are portrayed as humanistic and sentient. and fae/fox agrees on that. that is one thing they are right for.

however. that doesn’t erase all else that they’ve done. next.

“Someone even got mad that i hid the comments and acted like i hid the person who accused me only, but really i hid everyone's comment.Save for one from each of two of my friends, which were not hidden because i found them encouraging/interesting.Those are hidden now, though. I hid my comments, too, and part of me hiding that stuff helps protect 1. the commenter and secondly, i just hate looking at all of that sometimes.I counted and there are 20 hidden comments in my section.There will probably be more later. Do you know how embarrassing that is for me?I genuinely hate drama, but damn if i won't defend myself when i know my truth and someone challenges it. If it weren't for the nice things people said to me, i would just disable comments all together and wipe the slate clean, but i guess this has shown me i value the love i receive more than the hate, even if it leaves a scar on my work -- or even my attitude.”

hoo boy. alright.

“Someone even got mad that i hid the comments and acted like i hid the person who accused me only, but really i hid everyone's comment.Save for one from each of two of my friends, which were not hidden because i found them encouraging/interesting.Those are hidden now, though.”

alright. this is a blatant lie. they have blocked a decent amount of comments but they are lying when they say they only kepts up a few friends. not to mention they say they deleted those after. there are far more comments than 2 from a few friends.

(its scribbled out cause you can actually see the art behind it. which is still nsfw)

“I hid my comments, too, and part of me hiding that stuff helps protect 1. the commenter and secondly, i just hate looking at all of that sometimes.I counted and there are 20 hidden comments in my section.There will probably be more later.”

although yes they did hide some of their comments in order to remove the whole chain its extremelly hard to believe that this is out of a place of safety for the commenter. because they left my comment up and allowed a friend of their to comment on it as well. along side this they blocked me so i couldn’t defend myself either.

and now this isnt me jumping to a conclusion. my comment is from 10 hours ago. thats a lot of time to delete a comment.

“Do you know how embarrassing that is for me?I genuinely hate drama, but damn if i won't defend myself when i know my truth and someone challenges it. If it weren't for the nice things people said to me, i would just disable comments all together and wipe the slate clean, but i guess this has shown me i value the love i receive more than the hate, even if it leaves a scar on my work -- or even my attitude.”

this is a long one but i feel it fits together well enough to analize it all together. but ohhh man. it sure is embarassing to have to hide the comments that are accusing you of drawing CP huh? it really is embarassing? because you hate drama right?. listen. it doesnt matter if its embarassing to you. you drew nsfw art of child characters. and now youre upset that you have to go through and hide the comments of people calling you out for it. do you realize how outlandish that is? and oof. listen. the fact that you wanna “wipe the slate clean” and “disable comments” to hide from the fact that people are calling you out, rather than admitting this and deleting the piece shows that you are quick to hide and shove all of this under the rug rather than addressing it. and as for that last comment. listen... you sticking your fingers in your ears and yelling rather than addressing peoples concerns and listening to their criticism is not you valuing love over hate. its you refusing to awknowledge your misdoings and pretending youve done nothing wrong. thats a horrible mentality to have. and of course this is going to leave a scar on your work. you drew CP and refused to awknowledge it even after people brought it to your attention.

“I know in my heart of hearts what is right and what is wrong, i know what is justifiable and what isn't.I'm not sitting here trying to justify what i drew because i know it's not wrong, but i want it to be known that i am damn sad that someone who said they've "supported me for a few years" suddenly, over one picture they didn't like/didn't understand, chose to accuse me of basically drawing child pornography -- which is a major and very dangerous accusation, by the way, fought me over it, told me to "die mad," and then blocked me . If that were some random troll running by shitting on my art i'd be angry, but after some words i'd just block them and move on.But when a watcher or someone who has enjoyed my work just totally thrashes me or automatically loses faith in/respect for me, it hurts.Yes, it hurts!I'm not made of stone, i'm not used to this level of drama.I hate conflict. It hurts.But i once said i want to go far and wide with my passion, and that's gonna mean taking some low blows along the way.It's just something i have to learn to deal with like an adult.” 

once again im going to go through this and explain why its... oh so wrong.

“I know in my heart of hearts what is right and what is wrong, i know what is justifiable and what isn't.I'm not sitting here trying to justify what i drew because i know it's not wrong “

you telling yourself you did nothing wrong and refusing to awknowledge peoples criticisms of you isnt you knowing in your “heart of hearts” that youre right. its you being ignorant to peoples concerns. and how do you know its not wrong? because you say so? because your friends say so? people have addressed this issue by giving you facts and explanations on why its wrong and you deleted these comments. that isnt right at all.

“but i want it to be known that i am damn sad that someone who said they've "supported me for a few years" suddenly, over one picture they didn't like/didn't understand, chose to accuse me of basically drawing child pornography -- which is a major and very dangerous accusation, by the way, fought me over it, told me to "die mad," and then blocked me . ”

Listen. these people who supported you are sad that you’re defending drawing CP. you arent the victim in this scenario. you have no right to be sad when you actively chose to draw this. it is all your doing that these people have removed their support for you. as have I. these people are not to blame because they are disgusted that you drew something like this. and we are aware this is dangerous and a major accusation. however it is true. what you have drawn, by definitions, is CP. and now i hate to be this person. but you deleted all the comments. so there really isnt proof of this. i hate to pull that card but honestly.. this is the definiton of “pics or it didn’t happen”

“If that were some random troll running by shitting on my art i'd be angry, but after some words i'd just block them and move on.But when a watcher or someone who has enjoyed my work just totally thrashes me or automatically loses faith in/respect for me, it hurts.Yes, it hurts!I'm not made of stone, i'm not used to this level of drama.I hate conflict.”

once again. you’re to blame for this. you are playing a pity card yet you drew ths. the whole “it hurts me too” arguement is null. It doesnt work. you drew the art and chose to defend it. you have no right to be upset when people voiced their concerns about it. and conflict wouldnt arise if you actually listened to peoples concerns about this rather than immediately blocking them and playing the victim card.

“It hurts.But i once said i want to go far and wide with my passion, and that's gonna mean taking some low blows along the way.It's just something i have to learn to deal with like an adult.”

first of all you dont need to get poetic here. you drew CP, got called out for it and then made a post crying about it all. and if your passion is drawing porn of spyro and cynder, children characetrs, then youre not a good person. and if you defending CP is really when youre going to act like an adult then you clearly have the wrong priorities.

“I'm not some perfect martyr out to try and prove i can't do any wrong.Hell those of you who watch my side account have seen my ass a LOT, and you've also seen me try to grow from it when i'm wrong.I should not have given that commenter the gratification of pissing me off so much, but it happened.I didn't exactly blow my top, but it's still something i ought to get a handle on because i know this won't be the last time someone harasses me.”

heres the thing. the only people who can vouch for you here are your followers who are defending your actions here. you can’t use your side account as an excuse of “ive grown as a person” when the account isnt public and no one has access to it other than those who you select to. and on the second part. listen. youre 23. youre over the legal age in the states and i believe everywhere else. youre a grown adult. and if you consider people saying “youre disgusting for drawing CP and defending it” as harassment then you truely do need to grow up. you shouldnt be praised for not freaking out at people for calling you out on this kind of stuff.

“As i told someone else who's barked at me, it would also be hella wrong if one character was an adult and was a child and i aged the child up so they could fuck.I HATE that shit.That to me is wrong and weird, but here they're the same age, as adults. To me, it's not weird.Honest to God the worst/weirdest age thing i ever got swept away by was ZaDr, and i've been thinking about that lately and am considering at some point going back and throwing in head canon and trying to make it better so that it isn't "nasty”. I've gotten smarter and wiser since then.So there's definitely some hypocritical material in my folders, too, and i'll go ahead and admit that.I was younger and stupider at the time, but trust me when i say i never have looked at a child character and thought of them sexually.Ever.It's wrong.”

alright first im going start by saying this is in reference to my comment. now when refering to someone, when youre trying to earn peoples pity and understanding, you shouldnt jump to insult them. i wasn’t barking aat you. i was addressing your behaviour. and now. this is the first spot youve addressed them being “adults” in your art. every other time you mention it you call them mature which is a cop out. its only when you’re finally addressing the exact issue that you start to state how you are depecting them as adults. which, aging up a character for porn is still wrong. (which i will explain a bit better after im done this). and also you arent to be praised for seeing that as wrong. thats a normal response. no one was asking if you see it as wrong. and most people assume that until stated otherwise, this is the norm. most people see that as disgusting.

now you say to you it isnt weird. listen. to you it isnt weird because its your art and you dont like being called out for drawing CP. do you see what im getting at? now also i dont know what you’re talkign about here so i wont address it incase i get the wrong impression and speak out of line, however you say you’ve never looked at a child character sexually. yet you drew cynder and spyro intimately. understand this. aging up a character doesnt mean you look at the character in a more adult light. it means you’re attempting to justify to youself and make yourself feel better and safer on the idea of the character having sex. which. is. wrong.

im not addressing the last two paragraphs on the journal as it is just them praising their followers for praising them, however i will address their comment ont their art piece. 

“ And since apparently some people don't understand this, S/C are 18+ here.If anyone ever assumes i would draw children having sex, i swear to God... “

from what i can tell this was a saveface. they put this comment once they censored the piece. their fA has the piece as well and they dont address the age of the characters. which means that this was just added on to prevent them from the issues being addressed by commenters.

now from what i can tell. their AU doesnt really exist apart from some world building. i couldnt find a long detailed AU where the characters were aged up and lived a life. the only time ive found them mentioning the AU is when they talked about the art piece. whats that mean? it doesnt really exist. not publicly atleast. which means the “AU” could entirely just mean its an excuse to draw porn of the characters. now that last bit sounds like me picking for straws i understand. however it is  very possible. heres a post that explains why its not good to age up characters. (understand that im aware the post is discussing and age gap however it addresses some good points)

heres the post

now if you read it you’ll see this part.  “ aging up is taking two characters who would have an inappropriate relationship in canon, seeing their relationship as romantic, and then aging them up because you want some way for them to be together. and in that way you’re romanticizing a relationship between the two characters you saw in canon, and that’s not okay”. now i want oyu to pay attention to this part. “in that way you’re romanticizing a relationship between the two characters you saw in canon, and that’s not okay.”

you’re taking characters you saw in canon, and changing them to fit your view in a way that the public would deem okay. You’re taking something you saw in canon, in this case two children who seem at the most mildly puppy lovish (like a play ground crush), and you’re manipulating it so that you can view the canon relationship in a less taboo way. like i said earlier, aging up a character doesnt mean you look at the character in a more adult light. it means you’re attempting to justify to youself and make yourself feel better and safer on the idea of the character having sex. aging a character up doesn’t change the way you view them or their relationships. no matter how much you insist you are smarter than most and you really do view the character as an adult, you dont. thats bull.

now onto some smaller stuff that they didnt because wow. iconic i guess..

although i usually block out names this is a gross mentality. the entire comment is disgusting. and at the end “i would love to see some more sexy spyro x cynder from you” solidifies it. not to mention that fae/fox is essentially encouraging it. saying they will continue to draw it. meaning they havent learned anything from this experience. youre 23 dude.

and now some abliesm

“but lolbit you stupid bafoon. they didnt say anything themself. duuuhhh”

yes im aware. here they are saying it themself. 

ahh.. gotta love that... really gotta hammer in that sparkling personality of theirs.

TD;LR foxdragonlover on deviantart, FaeFierceVulpine on furaffinity and  onefiercefox here on tumblr drew cynder and spyro nsfw art (which classifies as CP) and then defended their art all the while blocking people who called them out for it. they claimed it featured 18 plus characters only after they were called out for it. they then made a post about it essentially crying about it and pinning the blame on those who called them out for it. They are a 23 year old. they’ve also said some abliest stuff and have just generally been nasty.

anyway i cant believe i did this. this post is huge and im so sorry. i didnt intend for it to be that big. i wanted to be as detailed as possible and make sure i touched on everything i could. now its 3 am and im tired. if anything looks wrong tell me and i’ll change it. i may address their comment to me later (the comment in the starting pictures). im outa energy