#*later after they return home back in ithaca*

[ilov3b00kss0much]

Featuring my favorite idiots ever

@justalunaticfangirl I'm sorry this took so long I had to go shower and then my mom called me to help her with chores and stuff. Also I'm running on like 5 hours of sleep bear with me.

This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever written it was so fun

Will also be posted on AO3 later!

“Polites! I swear to all the Gods I will make your life a living hell if you don’t come here right now! I am going to send you to the underworld VERY early!” Odysseus yelled, chasing after a laughing Polites. In his hand was a large map, the path home. Along with a bunch of calculations for the ships, and a drawing of Penelope made by a talented artist back in Ithaca. 

“No way, Ody! You haven’t slept since we left Troy!” Polites said, flashing a grin back at Odysseus.

“Eurylochus! Help me here!” Odysseus said, passing him as he ducked under a rope. Eurylochus looked over, then smirked at Odysseus. 

“No can do, Captain. I’m with Polites on this. Penelope won’t be too happy if we return her husband looking like a haggard beggar.”

“But- but- ah! I need to plot our route carefully. Our rations are already low, and I don’t want any delays. I haven’t seen my wife in ten years, for all the God’s sake!”

“Yeah, and that’s why you need to rest! You really want her first look at you to be exhausted and half asleep? You want to greet her with actual energy, right. Or do you think she doesn’t deserve that?” Polites teased. Odysseus glared at him, but he smirked back.

“Fine! But three hours. That’s it.”

         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Eurylochus. I have a question,” Polites said, looking up at his (much) taller friend.

“Yeah, Polites?” 

“Can I try to lift your sword?”

Eurylochus gaped at him. 

“What.”

“It looks so heavy. I’m really curious.”

“Polites this is not a good idea.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pleeeease???”

“I-Fine.” Euylochus lifted the sword out of the scabbard on his back and handed it to Polites, keeping one hand on the blade.

“Eurylochus. Let me hold it fully.”

“No.”

“Please.”

“Polites no.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yesss.”

“Ugh. Fine. Only for a moment. Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Eurylochus dropped his hand and Polites immediately stumbled, sword tottering in his hands. 

“Eury…help,” Polites gasped, trying desperately to keep the sword from impaling anyone.

Eury quickly grabbed it again, lifting out of Polites’s grasp.

“And this is why I didn’t want you to take it.”

“HOW DO YOU DO THAT?”

“Practice.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We strike now,” Odysseus whispered to Eurylochus. Eurylochus nodded, hiding behind the large trunk at the corner of the room. He glanced at the still form of Polites, barely stirring. It was time. He nodded at Odysseus, who gave him a thumbs-up. 

Eurylochus crawled towards Polites, doing his best to be silent. The wooden floor creaked beneath him, and he winced. However, Polites didn’t wake, only stirring a bit. Eurylochus got to the very edge of the hammock, then groped around in the darkness. There. The glasses. He gave Odysseus a thumbs-up and they both retreated.

—

“ODY! EURY! WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY GLASSES?” Polites yelled, throwing the cabin door open. Odysseus glanced at Eurylochus, trying very hard to hold back his laughter. 

“I don’t know, Polites,” he said, shrugging. “Have you checked the floor?”

“YES. THREE TIMES. ODYSSEUS PLEASE I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING.”

Odysseus swallowed his laughter yet again, smiling innocently.

“I don’t know, I swear.”

“ODYSSEUS OF ITHACA, I WILL TURN THE ENTIRE SHIP OVER GIVE ME MY FUCKING GLASSES.”

“I don’t know, really!” 

“EURY? PLEASE I’M GOING INSANE.”

Odysseus could no longer hold back his laughter, and doubled over, laughing so hard he gasped for air. Eurylochus glanced at him and started laughing too, trying not to embarrass himself.

“I KNEW IT! GIVE ME BACK MY GLASSES.” 

“Here, here, take them. This is payback.”

“FOR WHAT?”

“When you stole my plans.”

“THAT WAS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.”

“Whatever. All debts settled?”

“Fine. Never do that again.”

“Deal.”

give me epic the musical prompts I need to write something

[zarnzarn]

1/2/3/4

reverse Odyssey au where polites is still on the ships when Poseidon arrives, and that last bit is enough to push Odysseus to beg him to stop, to spare the men he spent ten long years fighting hard and bitter to save. 593 men is no less amount after all, not for a small island like Ithaca, only three generations old. he'll do anything, anything at all, blind him, torture him, kill him- just let his men go; they were not the ones to blame.

Poseidon considers, staring down at the king with the odd grey eyes that he knew the origin of. Athena would be furious, after all- so why not take away the one thing her favoured pet was known for?

the crew rushes towards their captain, their king, as shouting emerges from the other boats, as he hits the deck convulsing, grasping at his throat. the cries of his men rend the air as his legs melt into oceanspray, remerging as a fish's tail, Odysseus gasping for air wildly, his tongue a mess of mangled flesh on the main deck, unable to talk or breathe.

they have no choice but to pick him up and tip him into the sea, and they watch in horror as he falls beneath the waves and with a flick of the tail, disappears.

six hundred men chase their king down, following the odd silver glint that appears once in a while above the blue water, following the strange cursed monster that Elepnor sees when he falls drunk into the ocean one day. follow him all the way back to Ithaca, where the people gather on the shore to cheer their arrival.

telemachus is all of ten and untameable at the return of his father's ships, running past the guards and the priests to the dock, where the soldiers and heroes are all setting down the ramps, strangely quiet, unsmiling in the face of ten years of gore and bloodshed being done. Penelope catches up to him, laughing as she cranes her head up, scanning the ships to see which one- which one had-

she only has to time to see euroluchus' shame-filled tears and polites guilty devastation, feeling her heart slowly sink to the ground, when there's suddenly a splash and an outburst of screams and propped up on the dock is a man with a fish's tail and familiar curls and razor-sharp teeth and eyes that are solid grey. the soldiers cry out in horror and thunder down the ramps to them as the monster reaches out- and Penelope can't do anything, frozen, as it reaches out and places a webbed hand with deadly claws on her son's cheek, caressing almost; and her breath catches when it looks back up to her, and she knows the face as well as her own, knows the grief and fear and knows it is her husband-

Then the pounding footsteps from the closest ships and the guards behind reach them, and Penelope only has time enough to scream to stay their weapons, already shoving Telemachus behind her and reaching out to shield off any spears or arrows from battle-strung men who'd shoot first and ask questions later-

Instead she only feels the brush of cold skin under his fingertips for the briefest of moments and then she's caught up in a fisher's net, tangled and alone. More nets are thrown, men crying out for their captain with desperation and fear, Polites running straight past her and leaping off the dock to swim after him-

But her husband is a descendant of Hermes, and Odysseus is gone.

Penelope listens to the story that night and does not cry, sitting straight-backed in the face of her family sobbing around her, of the five hundred and ninety-three men staring at her with grief and guilt alike, of being the only widow in the kingdom. Pets Telemachus' wild hair and remembers his father's, and thinks.

"You have told me much," She says finally. "But I'm still to hear a single, solid plan."

The room rustles as all the heads swing to her.

"Plan?" Eurylochus says finally. Anger burns as soon she looks to him, but she pushes it down firmly- rage will not win her anything.

"Yes. A plan," she says, "To bring my husband back home."

Telemachus unfolds at her feet and stares up at her with a hopeful grin, echoed slowly on the faces of the men around the room. Penelope smiles back.

"My husband spent ten years fighting for his people to make it back home," She proclaims. "Let's wait at least that long before we give up on him, yes?"

The answering cheer shakes the walls of the palace and echoes through the streets of Ithaca.

[the-lazyyy-artist]

Pairing: Kunigami Rensuke x GN!Reader Synopsis: He left as a hero, and he returned cold and heartless. What adventures have made him like this? Would you still love him? Themes: angst, post-WC! Kunigami, set during Blue Lock's two-week break after their win against JP U-20 (chapters 150 - 153), reader is hopeful, Kunigami lost all humanity, established relationship, if you squint a little it's kinda like Epic's OdyPen lmao Author's Note: Epic The Ithaca Saga is ruining my brain chemistry. A mutual and fellow writer already created something like this but I wanna put my own twist on this hehe!

@thebestsetter ✨

Kunigami Rensuke was a hero before he became yours.

He always believed in goodness, helping everyone else, and acting like a big brother to those who needed his guidance. It's no wonder his morals bleed through his play on the field. To win each game fair and square while he showcases his skills. Watching how he turned into a knight in shining armor every time he stepped onto the field, defending his team from the enemy and scoring his goals was mesmerizing.

So, when he was invited to the Blue Lock Program, you weren't so surprised.

"How long will you be there?" you asked him once while you were on his bed, watching him go back and forth around his room, packing a small duffle bag of the things he might need in the facility. "That's something I can't answer right now, love," he replied, "it's something they never clarified in the letter. But let's say 2 or 3 months, give or take."

"Take care of yourself in there, okay? Show them the hero that you are," you reminded him, smiling up softly as he zipped the bag close. He was ready. Ready to face a new adventure, new challenges, and new foes and allies. You can feel the excitement radiating from him. "I will. Then when this is all over, I'm coming home to you with stories from my training."

"You're not leaving me behind, are you?" you teased, reaching for his hand. On his ring finger was a promise ring, the same one you wore. A symbol of his love for you and his promise to marry you. Your fingers gingerly held on to his ring, feeling the rough metal against your skin. "I will never. I'll always take you with me, remember? I'll be back before you know it."

3 days later, he left with a kiss, a promise, and a vision of him taking over the world with his aspirations.

A few weeks in, you received a call from him, happy and excited to talk to you. He told you about the things he's learned, the friends he's gained, and the foes he's made. He spoke about an Isagi, a Chigiri, and a Bachira, and how these people made him feel stronger with how they all blended on the field. You were proud to hear him grow and find friends.

"How did you get your phone anyway? I thought the letter said phones aren't allowed?" You asked him.

"We were given a star system where goals are exchanged for points that we can use for different privileges," Kunigami explained, "I exchanged my first goal for steak, and shared that with Isagi. Now, I exchanged two of my goals for my phone so I can talk to you."

Always so considerate. Your hero never changed despite the changes he's experienced in Blue Lock. With every point he earned, he'd always exchange it for phone time to call you and tell you about his adventures.

Suddenly, the calls stopped.

You're sure Kunigami wasn't the type to never make a goal. Was he getting into harder challenges in there? No matter how hard it was, you knew your hero would never back down.

Right?

It worried you. You kept looking at your phone, waiting for a call. You kept replaying your conversation weeks ago about a possible second selection and how it would play out, and you worried it was even more challenging than the team matches. Would he get out of it alive? Triumphant? Of course! Since when did you start doubting your hero?

You began to twist your ring, anxious about Kunigami as the days went by, each one feeling longer than the last. It's making you sick. He was never the type to just disappear without saying anything.

The announcement of an exhibition game with Japan U-20 made you feel hopeful again. Knowing your hero, he would be part of the starting 11. You saved enough for the tickets for you and your sibling to watch him play live. You were excited about what skill he gained in Blue Lock, and if he improved to be the best version of himself.

But why wasn't he there?

You know Isagi was there... Chigiri... Bachira... but where was he? Where's your hero?

The win was a blur. How can you even cheer for his team when he isn't there? It's impossible that he's benched too. Kunigami was never the type to warm the bench for the whole game. You wanted to ask Isagi... Maybe Chigiri because Kunigami has talked about him the most. Bachira might know too. But it's impossible to reach them, especially with how they disappeared into the building after the game.

"Where are you?" you whispered into the empty stadium.

Maybe it's time to let go. No. Kunigami made it clear that you would never let go. You'll wait for him to call. You'll wait for him to send you some kind of sign. Anything. Letting go is never the answer, he would say if he's beside you. So, with every passing day after the match, you never went anywhere without your phone, hoping soon he'd call.

How cruel must fate be that the only time you let your guard down was on the day he decided to show up?

Your mother opened the door for him, a gasp leaving her lips. She led him to your door and left him to talk to you. From the outside, Kunigami tensed as he wrapped his large hand around your doorknob, hearing your voice spilling out as he opened it slowly. And for a moment, Kunigami would like to believe nothing has changed. For a moment, all he could see was the light he held on to.

There you were, sitting on your desk as you studied with headphones on, singing one of the songs from the playlist he created for both of you to listen to. Clearly, in your little world, you didn't hear Kunigami enter and close your door behind him. Kunigami sighed, and then he opened his lips to say your name.

Oh, it felt like a lifetime since he spoke your name. Kunigami felt a piece of him remembering what it was like to say your name the first time he met you.

"Y/n."

No answer.

"Y/n," he said once more, a little louder. He saw you perk up a little.

You don't know if you're just imagining things or if Kunigami's voice sounded nearer than how you'd usually imagine it on the days you missed him. And then...

"Y/n."

You removed your headphones, standing up so quickly that your chair toppled over and fell to the floor with a thud. In front of you right now was your hero, the man you waited to return. You held your breath for a moment as you took a good look at him. He looks... he looks...

Tired. His build was bigger, but he looked tired. His hair was a thick mop of messy orange, his eyes...

"Rensuke?" You spoke with caution, "Is it you?"

Kunigami felt like he could fall to his knees the moment you spoke. But he wouldn’t allow himself to do so. You stepped away from your desk to walk to him, holding out your hands to touch him, that this wasn't a dream. He was cold, his cheeks, at least.

That was enough to break you. You embraced him, crying and grateful that your hero had returned. "You're back," you sobbed softly, "my Rensuke, you're back to me." You felt him lift his hands, but instead of embracing you, he gripped your shoulders and pulled you away from him. "Y/n," he spoke, his voice ragged but soft, "I'm not entirely back."

"W-what do you mean?" you asked, your teary eyes, wide and confused, looking up to meet his dull orange eyes. This was the first time you've seen him so lifeless. What the hell happened?

"I'm not the Rensuke you once knew. That version of me is gone."

"What?"

"I'm not the hero I promised you to be."

"What... I-I don't understand. What happened, my love?"

Rensuke looked at you with a slight hint of vulnerability. He must not show weakness. It was drilled into him that he'll be ruthless, he'll become irrational if it means becoming the best that the world will see. But with the sight of you, it felt impossible. "They... changed me. I'm not the hero we both envisioned to be. I... I had to become cruel and let go of my beliefs... The Rensuke you fell for because he believed in doing the right thing fair and square is dead.

"That's why I decided you can no longer love me, Y/n. Because I can't."

You're not hearing this, right? Yet, he sounded so sure. His voice was firm, the same one he would use on his teammates.

"Who are you to decide that?" you asked calmly, reaching for his hand again. Your gaze lowered to his hand, callused and tired, yet the ring was still there. A little worn out than the last time you saw it, but he's still wearing it. Your fingers worked on twisting the ring off his finger, causing him to tense up.

"What are you doing?" he asked, a hint of panic in his voice. You looked up at him with determined eyes. "You once told me when you got these rings for us that if we no longer love the other, we should remove our rings.

"I'm removing yours for you, Ren."

The ring was almost off his finger when he suddenly closed his hand. You looked up at him, and there he was, the Rensuke you fell in love with. "Don't, please..."

"But you said you can no longer love me," you reasoned, still holding his hand. Rensuke stared at you, his walls slowly breaking down at the reality of what he just told you. A stupid, stupid decision because he can't stop loving you.

The whole time he was in the Wildcard Project, the only thing that made him hold on to the little humanity he had in him was the promise of forever in your arms when he returned. The ring on his finger comforted him on nights when he almost gave up because his dream of becoming the best came from you. He promised he'd bring you with him and that he'd come back to you. So, he persevered and came out triumphant... but at what cost?

"How could you even love a cold-hearted man, my love?" he asked, his voice now a mere whisper, slightly cracking, "I have nothing left in me but the drive to win. I am no longer the warm man you want to be with for the rest of my life. I did all I could inside that facility for us to reach our dream, but they drained me. How can you still love me if I have nothing to give you any more?"

"I would still love you because no matter what, you're mine. You're my Rensuke, the man who made me believe that love as pure as yours exists in this world," you replied, "I don't care how much you've lost in there. As long as you return in my arms, I know a part of you that loves me and believes in us is still in there. I know you're still in there, Ren."

And with that, Rensuke broke down in tears in your arms. The place he had always longed for in the days he felt so alone. The warmth that he always yearned for in the coldest and loneliest nights. He's home. He's here.

"If you didn't care about me, you should've removed your ring a long time ago," you added, "but the symbol of your love for me is still there. A little worn, but I know you still have love for me.

"I've waited for you to return. This is all that matters now."

"I love you," Rensuke said between his tired sobs, his orange eyes sparkling with a little bit of life. He's still in there, the hero you loved is still in there.

"And I love you."

[katerinaaqu]

The Tragedy of Odysseus (The Hero who ended up being alone/Thoughts from the void)

I believe one of the greatest tragedies in the character of Odysseus is not his arduous trip nor the deaths he experienced or even the trauma he went through or even the fact that he loved his family more than anything and somehow he couldn't be there for them for most of their lives.

Judging from my own experiences as well I should say one of the greatest tragedies in the homeric hero is the fact that he was alone. When I say alone I do not mean how he ended up alone after he lost his men and having to survive by himself. It was his technical abandonment by everything and everyone.

If someone reads the Iliad or the Odyssey Odysseus was respected and admired by many for his wits, his ability with words, his boldness to take action no one else dared, his diplomatic skills and many ore despite the fact he was also obviously disliked by many others for the same reasons. When he disappeared for over a decade, by the end of that (possibly the last 3-5 years) his house was swarmed by the suitors, his wealth being eaten away and his wife and son harassed constantly.

Yet no other king of his peers came to his assistance.

Odysseus came back after 20 years and sorted the matter himself. He roamed about the seas abandoned by all the gods he had ever worshipped and sorted things himself. He made sure justice prevailed and sorted it out himself. He clawed himself there alone. None of the other heroes was there to save or assist him for their own reasons

Fate was cruel to him and his peers. Kings that returned and found destruction in their home (for example Agamemnon) or suffered long and had no more energy to do anything (Menelaus) or had no real political power (Teucer) or faced their own tragedies (Diomedes) and yet even if there were people who had power or returned home (Nestor) none of the heroes ever went to Ithaca, none of them came to his assistance, none of them showed him their support and till the final year of his arduous trip, he barely had his gods by his side with the exception of Hermes who arrived by himself at Aeaea.

Menelaus and Nestor heard from Telemachus how terrible the situation was and yet neither of them sent help, support, ambassadors or anything for that matter and only expressed their disdain on the fact and the hubris Odysseus comitted had him at the bad side of the olympian gods (or at least them being unable to do something till the prophecies were fulfilled) till much later.

Odysseus probably knew everyone had their reasons for it but there is no more profound feeling of abandonment for a person than knowing you had supportive words all your life and yet when you needed it the most, no one was there for you. When you hear compliments for your achievements and support and admiration and yet when you need someone's support at most everyone has their reasons not to be there. All valid reasons I am sure but surely the worst feeling of abandonment is when you do not receive help from those you counted on the most.

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

hdjlsjskdkdj yES

poseidon ain't giving ody a single reason for a second round of stabbings. no sir, not him.

now i just want scenarios of poseidon going out of his way to not potentially piss of odysseus or have him angry with the sea/ocean.

telemachus: *looking down at the sea from the ship*

telemachus: *gasps* father look! dolphins!

odysseus: *comes over to look* oh yes i see them!

telemachus: can i take a closer look?

odysseus: *mulling it over*

telemachus: pleeeeease?

odysseus: *is weak for his son* ok fine, but please stay close to the shi-

telemachus: *dives in*

odysseus: -p.

odysseus: *gives the sea a warning look, and then looks down at his son*

*nearby a shark has taken notice of the human jumping in the water*

*shark is getting closer. telemachus and odysseus have not noticed yet*

odysseus: *finally notices the moving water not too far infront of telemachus*

odysseus: *about to dive in the water to save his son* telem-

poseidon: *appearing out of nowhere in the water*

poseidon: *absolutely bodies the shark away from telemachus and the surrounding area*

odysseus:

telemachus: *who just saw a blur of something/someone hit a shark(?!) infront of him*

telemachus: what was tha-

odysseus: how about you come back on board now?

odysseus: it's getting late, and i think your mother will want us both back soon

telemachus: *gets back on the ship* *is confused again*

*after the events of the odyssey*

*telemachus and odysseus walking down to the docks, after odysseus said he'd go sailing with his son*

(listen the man had missed 20 years of his son's life, he could ask ody to dress in drag & do the hula and odysseus would already be shouting "LUAU" in a grass skirt before tele finished his sentence)

telemachus: i'm so excite- *looks ahead*

telemachus: *stops walking* oh no *sad noises*

odysseus: *still walking* what's wrong son?

telemachus: *points to the sea beyond ithaca's shores* poseidon must be angry today, look at the storm in the distance

odysseus: *looks ahead but without worry on his face* no need to worry, we can still go sailing, follow me

telemachus: *confused but follows his dad*

*both make it to the docks*

odysseus: you get started, i've just got something to do & then i'll join you on the ship

*telemachus hops on the ship and odysseus turns to face the sea*

odysseus: *red eyes activate* i'm. going. sailing. with . my. son.

*the sea storm dissipates in record speed*

odysseus: good.

odysseus: *red eyes deactivate*

odysseus: *turns to telemachus smiling like nothing happened* shall we go then?

telemachus: *happy but very confused*

telemachus: *mumbling to himself*what just happened?

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Epic What If:

(What if Telemachus Did beat Antinous in the fight?)

Now before we start, I think it should be noted that while this doesnt seem like this would be a big deal. Trust me, this has some interesting Connotations

-Everything up to the start of the Wisdom Saga was basically the same. Telemachus ends up hearing Antinous comments and ends up challenging him to a fist fight.

-Though it starts with Antinous, mocking the "Little Wolf" Athena's intervention helps Telemachus even the playing field.

-Though instead of Athena realizing she pushed Telemachus too hard, something within Telemachus changes... instead of the punch that knocked him down, Telemachus lands on his feet... his eyes shift red (similar to his father's later down the line) and he nails Antinous in the throat, causing the man cough and hold his throat. Telemachus gets on top of the man and starts beating him with his fists!

-Athena noticed that all his strikes that he had been landing were all to vulnerabilities. Telemachus had his father's Strategic mind but his blood lust was different, it was ... could it be from Penelope? She was from Sparta. Could this boy have the rage of a Spartain?!

-The other suitors were stunned, unsure of what to do. Was Antinous, the one who was sort of the leader of the group really getting their ass beat by this squirt?

-Antinous' face was a bloody pulp, having difficulty breathing. He says he yields.

-Telemachus gets up, he yells at the suitors to take this man and leave.

-"Your stay in this castle is over

Make sure everyone hears,

If you want to try to get to my mother

I'll bring you blood and tears!"

-Telemachus basically saying none of them are getting through while he's around.

-And the suitors retreat. Taking the beaten man away.

-After they left, Telemachus falls to the ground, Athena does realize she did push him to hard.

-The song "We'll be fine" is played with only slight changes. But Athena says that those guys will be back and will be angry. So she tells him what he needs to do before she leaves to go intervene on Odysseus' behalf

-god games goes the same, and pretty much the Vengeance Saga is the exact same. Its only when the Ithaca saga occurs that there is a difference

-Penelope had heard about what Telemachus did and the castle was now getting cleaned up. Telemachus had actually Barricaded to ensure no one would be able to get in while he was 'Away'. Penelope sings about how the storm was a sign. But She doesnt sing the Challenge. She sings "Waiting." an altered version of the song. She doesnt pose the challenge, because the men arent in the castle anymore.

-"Hold them Down." is done differently. The men actually are attacking the barricaded castle. Antinous now with an Eye patch, is back and angry from his beating. He tells them that they will break through and kill the brat, and take what they want. Though when they finally get the door open, they rush in, only for Antinous to say his last line and get interrupted. By an arrow that pierced his patched eye. But it didnt kill him.

-The song is actually "Odysseus" It was Telemachus who was there, he had set traps and was fully equipped for war. He tells the suitors that this is their final warning. To leave the castle, return to their homes or else.

-The men laugh and say that there is only one of him and they charge. Telemachus retreats into the castle, where the traps were.

-Several suitors were killed by the traps. And Telemachus moved to the Armory. But something was killing the men far more brutally, something much more Agile and Brutal.

-Antinous, Melanthius, Amphimous, and Eurymachus, each had a small group of suitors. Though they commented that Telemachus and his traps arent the ones killing so brutally. It was then they hear Odysseus voice.

-Odysseus tells them that they invaded his home, they attacked his son, they tried to r*** his wife. Now he was going to make them pay.

-Eurymachus begs for mercy. But he and his group dies.

-Amphimous and Melanthius run into the armory and deal with Telemachus and his additional traps. Odysseus arrives and kills the Melanthius after Telemachus kills Amphimous.

-Odysseus asks Telemachus how many are left. "Telemachus asked how many he killed. "I think around 10. My traps maybe 20. Odysseus mentions that he has slayed 70.

They hear a brutal knock, it was near Penelope's room. Odysseus and Telemachus arrive. 7 men with Antinious remain.

"The old king is back from the dead.

You must be tired from your long trip back

Why dont you rest your head

While we go and make your wife arch her...."

Odysseus charges and stabs Antinous right in the gut Telemachus watched as Odysseus had slayed the other men so quick. Only Antinous was the last one alive. Antinous begs for mercy

-Odysseus did NOT like that. And proceeds to cut his head off.

-It was here that we get "I cant help but wonder" with a bit more mention of Telemachus and how proud he is of him, as well as Athena praising the boy. and then followed up by "Would you fall in love with me again." Between Odysseus and Penelope

[writingnekoo]

Odysseus' character analysis & how we overlook his trauma

Okay, this will be a long post about Odysseus and what could be happening in his head after his return to Ithaca because I really need to share these ideas <3

During the last few days I've been thinking about the whole Poseidon-obssesed-with-Odysseus concept (thanks to @rin-solo for inspiration :)), and that's how I recalled one headcanon of mine about Odysseus and his possible perception of his conflict with Poseidon.

A disclaimer first: I know that Epic is sometimes historically and culturally inaccurate, but! I want to include some of the cultural norms of ancient times because they will make things much more interesting.

So, since early August I've had an idea that Odysseus' personality during the post-Odyssey timeline would be heavily influenced by PTSD. That's just reasonable: the war takes its toll on the person anyway, especially on the warrior like Odysseus. He saw the nightmares of the Trojan War, lost his comrades and faced things that made him lose his sleep.

I actually like how Odysseus' trauma is depicted in Epic. We have these parts with the voices of Polites, Eurylochus and Anticlea and see just how much these losses affected Odysseus (take the ending of "Love in Paradise"). But instead of focusing on the losses like the musical does I'd rather talk about those who had caused them. It's a curious thing about the mentality of those who survived the war and similar events: their mind tends to demonize and hate those who caused pain deeply. It produces the ultimate hatred that is able to overcome any other feeling. This is the idea that I want to pursue in my Monster AU (might write about it later because that's another long talk) about the overwhelming feeling, produced by trauma, that can't be distinguished. And Odysseus is the only character in the story who has endured that twenty-year long nightmare: his comrades from the Trojan War didn't have the decade of journey back home behind their backs, and those who sailed with Odysseus died.

But there's one more layer to this scenario. While we've covered the idea about the war victim demonizing the aggressor, we can't forget that we're talking about the religious society of ancient times. Poseidon and Zeus are the two godly villains of Odysseus' story. However, they're also the god of the tides, who must've been one of the most widely worshiped in Ithaca (since it's an island... yeah), and the King of the gods.

That leaves Odysseus in an even more complex situation. Because he most likely highly respected both of them for his whole life. Eventually, they left Odysseus ruined. The people of Ithaca didn't stop worshipping them, and Odysseus has to follow the same religious rituals and celebrate annual festivities, which definitely reminds him of what had happened.

Once again, no one understands what he's gone through. Even Penelope and Telemachus, no matter how supportive they are. Thus, the trauma is left unseen and unhealed. Too bad there was no therapy in the ancient world, Odysseus would've needed it.

Finally, this whole set of reasons serves as a perfect background for deep and tragic obsession with those who hurt him and inability to let go of the past. Do the voices fall silent after Odysseus defeats all the enemies? No, they probably don't. Because even though physically Odysseus is already home, mentally, he's still fighting with the ghosts of his enemies. This is a desperate feeling that belongs to a broken man who no longer fits into society like he used to. And it eats him alive, kills him from the inside. No ruthlessness or bloodshed can help Odysseus to run from this despair. It fact, they might only make it worth by reminding who made him a monster! :)

Generally... this is pretty much it. The whole idea of all-consuming despair and trauma is what I've wanted to pursue here because I find it very natural in terms of everything that Odysseus has been through. I'd also like to analyze the whole Vengeance saga (especially my fav Six Hundred Strike) from this perspective because it actually makes perfect sense for me, but that's one more long post of another time lmao.

[taldigi]

IM BACK and with some new persona ideas for Back 2 Inaba! The theme I was going for was being “far from home” or travelling.

Ren Amamiya - Lafayette

Lafayette was a prominent figure in both the American Revolution and the French Revolution. He was the to success in several fights, and was the one to command his troops to victory in the Siege of Yorktown. A traveller in the sense that he was a prominent figure in both France and America, Lafayette like Ren, will have to lead his team to victory in both Inaba and Tokyo.

Morgana - Odysseus

A famous strategist and King of Ithaca, Odysseus was a great military strategist and the one who supposedly came up with the Trojan Horse. One of his most famous tales is his journey home back to his country and wife, only to get so inconvenienced on the way home, he only returns years later. Morgana has a lot to come to terms with. He continues to try to make “peace” with his body being that of a cat, and everytime he finds some sort of acceptance, something new comes to take its place.

Nanako Dojima - Tsuki No Usagi

Tsuki No Usagi, or “the moon rabbit” tends to always be making some kind of substance that can grant immortality, be it mochi, rice cakes, or just an elixir. There’s also a story where a rabbit, monkey, otter, and jackal is begged by an old man for food. All the other animals manage to procure some food or water, but the rabbit decides to cook themselves as an offering. Touched by their selflessness, the old man who was actually a god sent rabbit was transported to the moon instead of being burnt. Nanako is often treated like something to be protected, instead of an actual person and I imagine Yu unintentionally isolating her because of him being over protective, as if sending her to the moon.

Yuuko Hanamura - Shitakiri Suzume

Shitakiri Suzume (Tongue Cut Sparrow) is the tale of where an old man saves a sparrow and feeds it regularly. His greedy wife detested the little bird and would constantly berate the old man for wasting food on it. After the sparrow gets into a bag of starch, the wife cut out its tongue and chases it out into the mountains. The old man goes out looking for it and when he finds the sparrow, he is rewarded with treasure. The wife also tries to get treasure, but she opens it before she returns home and gets attacked by snakes and other creatures.

You are so good at this. Ndjdjs dja they're wonderful choices

Making me rethink not giving Yuuko a persona

[lyculuscaelus]

Telegony isn’t real unless it’s made of cloud—just consider the possibility where Circe created an image (eidolon) of Odysseus using cloud and they had a child (or three children) together. But Circe soon found this Odysseus somewhat lacking so she sent him away, leaving their child (or children) here on Aeaea. Cloud!Odysseus (or should I say Clodysseus) then roamed around in Italy before dropping off in Epirus where he found himself a new wife Callidice, and fought a war against the Bryges. Eighteen years later the death of Callidice reminded him of a home so distant that he never felt he had but now realized he needed it so much so he decided to go “back” to Ithaca. Meanwhile the half-cloud half-divine Telegonus went to search for his father and landed in Ithaca too. And upon seeing the Clodysseus who had just came to this island he mistook him as a guard and had a fight with him and stabbed him with that poisonous spear. Then Clodysseus dissipated after Telegonus realized that he stabbed his father, who only had the chance to give one glance at this home that would never be his.

Meanwhile the real Odysseus was suffering from trauma until the eighth year came and he got back to Ithaca and had his revenge and then went through the oar quest and once again returned chilling with his Penelope and Telemachus for the rest of his life, maybe going back to gardening or something, and somehow caught all of the drama in 360P that happened on that day, in the tenth year after his return.

[meusgrifos]

"I find myself turning back to the Odyssey more and more often. We always read it like an adventure novel. Later we came to understand that it was also a book about searching for the father. And, of course, a book about returning to the past. Ithaca is the past. Penelope is the past, the home he left is the past. Nostalgia is the wind that inflates the sails of the Odyssey. The past is not the least bit abstract; it is made up of very concrete, small things. When, after he spends seven happy years living with the nymph Calypso, she offers him immortality if he will stay with her forever, Odysseus nevertheless refuses. I’ve wondered about that myself, come on, let’s all be honest and say whether we’d turn that offer down. On the one side of the scale you’ve got immortality, an eternally young woman, all the pleasures of the world, and on the other you’ve got going back to where they hardly remember you, impending old age, a house besieged by hoodlums, and an aging wife. Which side of the scale would you choose? Odysseus chose the second. Because of Penelope and Telemachus, yes, but also because of something specific and trifling, which he called hearth-smoke, because of the memory of the hearth-smoke rising from his ancestral home. To see that smoke one more time. (Or to die at home and disperse like smoke from the hearth.) The whole pull of that returning is concentrated in that detail. Not Calypso’s body nor immortality can outweigh the smoke from a hearth. Smoke that has no weight tips the scale. Odysseus heads back."

— Giorgi Gospodinov, in "Time Shelter."

[howlermoonart]

Argos the Faithful (Art Print!)

So this will be is the very first art print for Howler Moon Art, a lil online art shop that will hopefully be launching in spring of 2025!!! I picked the concept pretty much randomly off of a list of ideas, but I had a bit of a nudge because I knew the story of Argos from The Odyssey and found it very emotional.

To summarize: Argos is Odysseus’ hunting dog. When Odysseus leaves to fight in the Trojan War, Argos is swift and strong and in his prime. Upon Odysseus’ return 20 years later, however, Argos is old and feeble. Odysseus, disguising himself as a pilgrim after reaching his home in Ithaca, is forced to ignore his faithful hound’s greeting (only Argos is able to recognize him after two decades of absence) so as to remain incognito. Shortly afterward, Argos’ heart gives out from sadness, and he dies.* Most stories about faithful dogs are sad ones, unfortunately; they don’t live as long as we do, regardless of how much we love them or how much they love us in return.

I wanted to capture an imagined scene from before Argos’ death, where Argos is watching the sea surrounding Ithaca and waiting for his master’s return from war. The Greek ship upon the waves below him is Odysseus’ vessel!

You can read about the development of this artwork below the cut.

Artwork Start/Completion: September 22, 2024 → September 30, 2024

Art Program: Clip Studio Paint PRO (ver 2)

Tablet: Huion H610 PRO V2

Font Used: MCapitals by Manfred Klein (link)

Brushes Used:

CSP default brushes

Cream Cheese Frosting by WholeMilk (link)

References Used:

Photo by Yorgas Ntrahas on Unsplash (link)

Photos of Cretan Hounds from the Greek Kennel Club website (linked below)

I first looked for digital brushes on the Clip Studio asset store that would make the meander for me, since I wasn’t sure of my skills. I didn’t find any that were within my means, however, so I just drew it myself with some of the default brushes in my Clip Studio Paint program. It turned out to be easier than I expected! The repetitive pattern is actually very soothing once you get the hang of it, and I like how the meander “keys” aren’t perfectly identical.

Ironically, it was only after I finished the meander that I found a collection of Greek pattern brushes that were free if not easy to use.

I gave Argos an epithet and labeled him in the print because I wasn’t sure if a casual viewer would recognize him from the artwork alone. Although most people are aware of the broad plot points of The Odyssey (such as “Nobody” slaying the cyclops), Argos’ part in that tale is a very minor one and comes toward the end.

As geographically inaccurate as it is, I based Argos’ design off of the Cretan Hound, a breed now recognized solely in Greece… and in Germany, for some reason. The other Greek breed I would see as apt for a nobleman’s hunting dog is the Hellenic Hound, but if I’m being perfectly honest the Hellenic Hound looks like a very generic hound to me, while the Cretan Hound’s spitz-y tail and upright ears are more visually appealing for me personally. The upright ears give the dog an air of alertness that I really like, on top of just being so cute!

For a while I was worried that the warm, rusty terracotta color of the border would clash with the much softer palette of the scene with Argos looking out over the sea, so I hid those layers of the artwork and constructed another, more elaborate border with stone columns meant to be reminiscent of Greek temples entrances. This time, I got to use the Greek pattern brushes that I had downloaded previously!

However, the columns and wave border take up too much space within the landscape-oriented A5 print, so after much fiddling with resizing various elements of the border, I decided to go back to the simpler terracotta look. 

I was a bit frustrated with myself letting myself go down this rabbit hole, since it took at least 3 hours to create a border that I ended up not using. (I know the time because I watched the entirety of the 1982 Conan the Barbarian movie with my partner while drawing, and then we got partway through Ralph Bakshi’s 1983 animated movie, Fire and Ice, before I went to bed and was able to mull over my artistic choices).

I had initially been very nervous to draw Odysseus’ ship. I knew it would be tiny and therefore details weren’t terribly important, but I also knew it was a trireme (a warship of Ancient Greece) and I had never drawn a boat before this. I learned about the Olympias, a reconstruction of an ancient Athenian trireme that is currently in the service of the Greek navy, and got to ogle pictures of her while I hyped myself up for the task of drawing another of her kind… which, in the end, took less than twenty minutes.

* This version of events with Argos dying specifically from sadness isn't from a "real" translation, but rather from the version that my dad told me as a kid before bedtime.

[ilov3b00kss0much]

Featuring my favorite idiots ever

@justalunaticfangirl I'm sorry this took so long I had to go shower and then my mom called me to help her with chores and stuff. Also I'm running on like 5 hours of sleep bear with me.

this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever written it was so fun

Will also be posted on AO3 later!

“Polites! I swear to all the Gods I will make your life a living hell if you don’t come here right now! I am going to send you to the underworld VERY early!” Odysseus yelled, chasing after a laughing Polites. In his hand was a large map, the path home. Along with a bunch of calculations for the ships, and a drawing of Penelope made by a talented artist back in Ithaca. 

“No way, Ody! You haven’t slept since we left Troy!” Polites said, flashing a grin back at Odysseus.

“Eurylochus! Help me here!” Odysseus said, passing him as he ducked under a rope. Eurylochus looked over, then smirked at Odysseus. 

“No can do, Captain. I’m with Polites on this. Penelope won’t be too happy if we return her husband looking like a haggard beggar.”

“But- but- ah! I need to plot our route carefully. Our rations are already low, and I don’t want any delays. I haven’t seen my wife in ten years, for the God’s sake!”

“Yeah, and that’s why you need to rest! You really want her first look at you to be exhausted and half asleep? You want to greet her with actual energy, right. Or do you think she doesn’t deserve that?” Polites teased. Odysseus glared at him, but he smirked back.

“Fine! But three hours. That’s it.”

         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Eurylochus. I have a question,” Polites said, looking up at his (much) taller friend.

“Yeah, Polites?” 

“Can I try to lift your sword?”

Eurylochus gaped at him. 

“What.”

“It looks so heavy. I’m really curious.”

“Polites this is not a good idea.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pleaseeeee.”

“I-Fine.” Euylochus lifted the sword out of the scabbard on his back and handed it to Polites, keeping one hand on the blade.

“Eurylochus. Let me hold it fully.”

“Polites no.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yesss.”

“Ugh. Fine. Only for a bit though. Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Eurylochus dropped his hand and Polites immediately stumbled, sword tottering in his hands. 

“Eury…help,” Polites gasped, trying desperately to keep the sword from impaling anyone.

Eury quickly grabbed it again, lifting out of Polites’s grasp.

“And this is why I didn’t want you to take it.”

“HOW DO YOU DO THAT?”

“Practice.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We strike now,” Odysseus whispered to Eurylochus. Eurylochus nodded, hiding behind the large trunk at the corner of the room. He glanced at the still form of Polites, barely stirring. It was time. He nodded at Odysseus, who gave him a thumbs-up. 

Eurylochus crawled towards Polites, doing his best to be silent. The wooden floor creaked beneath him, and he winced. However, Polites didn’t wake, only stirring a bit. Eurylochus got to the very edge of the hammock, then groped around in the darkness. There. The glasses. He gave Odysseus a thumbs-up and they both retreated.

—

“ODY! EURY! WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY GLASSES?” Polites yelled, throwing the cabin door open. Odysseus glanced at Eurylochus, trying very hard to hold back his laughter. 

“I don’t know, Polites,” he said, shrugging. “Have you checked the floor?”

“YES. THREE TIMES. ODYSSEUS PLEASE I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING.”

Odysseus swallowed his laughter yet again, smiling innocently.

“I don’t know, I swear.”

“ODYSSEUS OF ITHACA, I WILL TURN THE ENTIRE SHIP OVER GIVE ME MY FUCKING GLASSES.”

“I don’t know, really!” 

“EURY? PLEASE I’M GOING INSANE.”

Odysseus could no longer hold back his laughter, and doubled over, laughing so hard he was gasping for air. Eurylochus glanced at him and started laughing too, trying not to embarrass himself.

“I KNEW IT! GIVE ME BACK MY GLASSES.” 

“Here, here, take them. This is payback.”

“FOR WHAT?”

“When you stole my plans.”

“THAT WAS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.”

“Whatever. All debts settled?”

“Fine. Never do that again.”

“Deal.”

[generouskittentidalwave]

So I mentioned before that it is never said whether Polites lived or died, which is good as you can then make his story however you want. Going off of that, my headcanon is that Polites got seperated from Odysseus after the ship got struck by Zeus, and I am going to elaborate a bit on that.

So as we all know Polites probably wouldn't have eaten the cattle seeing as he is Odysseus's bestest friend and most loyal crewmate, and I can honestly imagine Polites trying his best to reason with Eurylochus that they shouldn't be going against their friend's orders and going behind his back, but to no avail. I can honestly imagine Eurylochus forcing Polites to choose between following him or following Odysseus and Polites ultimately chooses to follow Odysseus (fanfic writers there is an intresting writing prompt for you).

After that, Odysseus returns and is rightfully pissed off about the eaten cattle. Polites feel shame that he couldn't stop them, despite Odysseus reassuring him that none of it is his fault. Well later on, when the boat gets struck by Zeus, all but Odysseus and Polites are killed, and Odysseus and Polites unfortunately get separated.

So I imagine Polites ended up on an island and met some nice people that lived there and stayed with them, learning new things from them and everything for a while as he worked to figure out a way back to Ithaca, as he knows that if Odysseus lived then he must be on his way to Ithaca, or already there. This would parallel Odysseus's situation as he also ends up on and island, however he gets the bad instead of the good as he is forced be Calypso's lover and trapped on an island for 7 years. Both had to make the choice to leave their new homes to go back to their old one and reunite once more.

Odysseus obviously gets to Ithaca firsts and reclaims his place as king of ithaca, and then Polites shows up not long after the fight and the two finally reunite with eachother.

That's just my idea on it but I will be sticking to this idea for eternity

[insipid-drivel]

THERE IS A REAL REASON ODYSSEUS DIDN'T GET HOME FOR 20 YEARS AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ODY BEING SHIT AT SEA TRAVEL. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION FOR THOSE ENJOYING THE EPIC ALBUMS AS MUCH AS I'VE BEEN BECAUSE THIS WILL ENHANCE THE EXPERIENCE:

At the very beginning of "The Iliad" (aka the story of Helen of Troy and the Trojan War), the only main characters on the Greek side of the war that don't want to help are Achilles and Odysseus. In the "Epic" Albums, the story starts off at the very end of the war, where Odysseus is forced by his fellow Kings of Greece to kill Hector's newborn son and heir, Astyanax, by dropping him from the city walls after the battle is over and the city is burning.

Odysseus was even more desperate to avoid having to go to war. When he was young - before meeting the Morticia to his Gomez, Penelope - an oracle revealed to Odysseus that, if he were ever to leave Ithaca for any reason, he wouldn't return until 20 years later, and he would return alone and poor.

This is why, for those of you that are familiar with the beginning of The Iliad, Odysseus dresses himself as a peasant farmer, yokes a donkey and a bull to the same farming plow, and begins to drive the animals around a field outside of his palace while sowing soot into the soil when the other Greek Kings come to call on him and the forces of Ithaca to join their war on Troy. Odysseus knew, the moment he saw soldiers and ships approaching his island, that the prophecy set for his life was unfolding.

Odysseus was also the grandson of Sisyphus, who was notoriously clever and crafty, and was cursed with the pushing-the-boulder-uphill hex by Zeus because the fucker kept outsmarting the gods and finding loopholes in his deals with them and ultimately driving Zeus bananas. So, the whole "trying to outsmart fate" thing may have been genetic for Ody. However, he did absolutely love and adore Penelope and their infant son, Telemachus, and Odysseus was forced to stop malingering when Diomedes snatched the newborn Telemachus from Penelope's arms and put him directly in the path of the hooves of the bull and donkey pulling Odysseus' plow. Being a loving dad, Odysseus immediately stopped everything to rescue his son, but he'd been found out and was forced to leave for Troy.

The Trojan War alone was a siege war that lasted 10 YEARS on its own. The Iliad literally takes place over the course of an entire decade of war. Odysseus wasn't even responsible for how long the war lasted. Agamemnon and Menelaus were so stubborn about getting Helen back that they waged a fruitless siege war on the city for A WHOLE ASS DECADE. That accounts for the first decade.

Decade #2 was the one Odysseus spent trying to get home to Ithaca, but 10 years of desperate siege warfare had resulted in the gods themselves starting to fight amongst each other, and take their quarreling out on the Greek and Trojan troops. Odysseus ultimately winds up being an accessory to pissing off Poseidon in particular multiple times, but clinches Poseidon's notorious grudge-bearing rage on himself when he orders his men to help him blind the cyclops Polyphemus after Odysseus and his crew become trapped by him.

Because Odysseus refused to kill Polyphemus and only blinded him so he and his men could escape and get the FUCK off The Island Of Poor Depth Perception, you'd think he'd get brownie points for being merciful. Sadly though, Polyphemus and the other Cyclopes were the children of Poseidon, and if Odysseus had just killed Polyphemus while the cyclops only believed his name was "Nobody" (Nemo), then Poseidon would never have known who had harmed his son.

But that's not what happened. Odysseus and his men were bloodsick from 10 years of gruesome, bloody, traumatizing warfare, and Odysseus showed Polyphemus mercy and let him live. Polyphemus learned Odysseus' name as a result, and cried out to his father, Poseidon, that Odysseus be "made to suffer more than any mortal yet alive".

And in comes Contract Law. Poseidon just wants to kill Odysseus and his crew and be done with it, but Zeus is the one who gets final say over it as King of the Gods, and is also just as sick to fucking death of the wars and bloodshed. So, Zeus takes Polyphemus' request literally: Odysseus would SUFFER more than any mortal man alive, but he would not DIE because of it.

So, Zeus, Poseidon, and Athena worked together to help, hinder, and ultimately force Odysseus and his crew on an extra 10 years of strife and death being blown around the Mediterranean Sea before Zeus finally decided enough was enough and let Odysseus return home. 20 years later, alone and poor, just as the Oracle had warned him.

Was curious how far Ithaca was from troy today while listening to epic the musical and rereading the illiad and I found this map

I think odysseus would have been better just to walk😭

[xtrablak674]

I am Alive

I'm trying to remember if there are any picture of my father and me together after this image, and I don't think there are any, ergo my using this photo as the thumbnail for this entry. Addendum, I had used the photo I was talking about as a thumbnail on another entry and decided to change it with this scan of my father's public benefits card also from nineteen ninety-one, its like the story writes itself.

According to the postcard the year is nineteen ninety-one and the date is November twenty-ninth, the things that are immediately clear to me is that this isn't my campus address, and Ithaca is spelled incorrectly.

Context is very important so Dear Reader I will give you some, maybe with in a year or two after the above photograph my father moved back into his parents household where I was already residing in their former living room having been turned into a bedroom for their first-born grandchild after the passing of his mom maybe a year or two before this photo is taken.

Curiously as I did my yoga this morning I was thinking about this trucker hat that I used to own, I remember it being two shades of blue with a white plastic mesh, and as I was taking another look I am actually wearing this hat in the picture below. Its funny to me because behind the scenes my subconscious has been putting together the pieces of this journal entry in subtle ways. Last week I was sharing the postcard from my father with my nephew when we were sharing college experiences.

As usual I have gotten off-topic, but my father had moved into my 'bedroom' and we shared the pull-out bed in the couch. Interestingly I hadn't shared a bedroom since I was maybe four or five years younger, my mom had moved me into my older brother's bedroom in our apartment feeling I had the need for a bit more privacy and my father sharing a bed and room with me was a double regression, one for him and one for me.

I am feeling hesitant in how to proceed because I am not sure if I have written about how the man who had been my best-friend for most of my life turned on me, and attempted to murder me right in his parent's home which he had returned to.

I will say this our relationship was never the same after the attempted, well which is it manslaughter or more appropriately boyslaughter, or is it attempted murder? According to a Google search its all about intention, so I think this was totally murder. But thats not what I want to write about, I want to write about this postcard and the desperation that is laced in it.

When recounting the experience years later in therapy Ms. Kennedy asked me, did someone call the police? The saying, you could have knocked me over with a feather could never have been more appropriate. I had never even considered at the time that filicide is indeed a thing, there is literally a word for when a parent attempts to exterminate their offspring. The only defense I have for my grandparents is they made him leave the next day, so I only had to spend one night with the man who attempted to extinguish my life, there couldn't be anything traumatic about that, could there? #sarcasm

As an adult I can admit that folks all around were trying to do their best, it had to be hard for my grandparents to have to choose their grandchild over their first-born child, but I was the minor and legally under their care, my safety had to be put first. Writing about this now this feels like such an abstraction for me, never in my entire life I would have guessed that my own father would be the person who would attempt to assassinate me for ultimately being too much like him, not that there is ever any excuse for an adult to lay hands on a child.

I am not saying I made it through childhood unscathed, but the monsters or villains of my youth were usually people who weren't related to me. Like Marvin Church my god-grandma's eldest son who did things to me that a forty year old man should have never done to a ten year old. My father's girlfriend Patricia Jackson had beaten me in the head until I was unconscious I think the first time in my childhood I had lost consciousness. Whatever would lead me to believe that my dad would join these brutes as one of the people who weren't looking out for my best interest?

Back to the postcard, I can see that this wasn't any off-the-cuff postcard, some serious thought had went into its selection pairing humor with morbidity, an appropriate reading of his sense of humor which is also mirrored in my own humor.

Back of postcard:

"Name of Item

The letter you were expecting has been placed on back order.

We expect to ship within the next year.

Thank you for your patience."

He clearly was in his feelings about my lack of contact since I had left for college. Small context about college, I had done all of the necessary documents, applications, paid fees all on my own. My grandparents nor him had any part in my getting into the private college in upstate New York. Out of the five that I applied to I am even surprise they found out which one I was accepted to, maybe someone from my high school helped them with that piece of evidence, because I didn't share my acceptance letter with any of them.

Well it seems I need more of an explanatory comma here, at eighteen I was more than ready to leave my grandparents house, my burgeoning sexuality had caused tensions between me and the matriarch of the house leading to many terse conversations.

I was not only coming into my own, but taking the steps to realize those dreams without any input or participation of the adults in the household. There may have been some resentment on her part because it must have been embarrassing when her friends or sisters inquired where was I and she didn't have a clear idea. This probably lead to my eviction and subsequent homelessness that would happen within months of this postcard.

Front of postcard:

"I am alive.

As are your paternal grandparents.

How about you?

Please advise.

Am still working on the w.p.

I love you very much.

Aṣẹ

V.O.M.-C.M."

I have to pause a minute, I seriously thought this journal entry would be about this piece of hard paper that has been living in a collage on the wall of my bathroom, but emotionally there are feelings tangled up in how we got to this postcard, some that I didn't even anticipate. For a moment I believed that this would probably be a humorous short entry with a couple of photos. But there was so much more to unpack.

"I am alive."

Curiously two years after this postcard nearly to the month he wouldn't be alive. He'd be found in his apartment body rotted for weeks in the un-air conditioned enclosure of his Harlem apartment. The same address which is a stamp near the bottom of this missive. With his death my orphanage would begin in earnest having less than ten years with my mom and fifteen with my father, albeit I was in my early twenties when he died, after his assault I never saw him again.

"As are your paternal grandparents."

His father would die eighteen years after this postcard and his moms thirty years later peacefully in her sleep at home.

The most curious thing is he feels the need to distinguish his parents as opposed to my moms parents. She was the one who asked them to take me in case of her death, he wasn't even under consideration as a choice because he hadn't shown a level of stability in his adult life that she could trust to be conducive to raising a child. Ergo she asked his very responsible, stable and capable parents to take in his first born child. His simple sentence is laced with an un-earned self-satisfaction that I was under his parents, my grandparents care. But I think what he's missing is I should have been under his care. He was only reflecting his own failure as a parent. #idiot

"How about you?"

Well, I am guessing if you thought I was dead you wouldn't actually be writing to me. There's not much to say about that. I think I fully had cause to not want to have contact with him or his parents who non-verbally condoned his violence by not having him arrested.

"Please advise?"

I can assure the studio audience that I didn't respond to this inquiry, nor did I feel it necessary to do so. I was enjoying the freedom of young adulthood and learning so much about life attending this away-from-home college living amongst people I couldn't even imagine associating with.

"Am still working on the w.p."

This is the saddest thing in this postcard, because once again it emphasizes my father's failures. I think months before I was set to go to college he had asked me if I needed anything, that in itself was odd because at no time prior had he ever attempted to take on a parental role. He usually enjoyed embracing the role of friend or compatriot not a figure of authority or rule.

He had also never directly asked me about my needs or wants. And sadly he was decades too late! I had become very self-sufficient as a young adult having not only held a job consistently since I was fourteen but also going to school full-time and doing volunteer work at theatre downtown.

His asking me for what I wanted was a foreign and new feeling to me and I recall being taken aback because I had never even considered him as a person who would support me in anyway beyond the comic books he bought for himself that he gave me after he read. I said a word processor, clearly dating myself, but also being practical. A manual typewriter would have been unwieldy but a word processor would be useful in college a place where writing papers was the norm. But it would never come. I bought my first computer a used Macintosh SE from a junior high school friend.

"I love you very much."

I am guessing in his way he did albeit I don't think he did a good job of showing it physically. Unlike my other siblings father's he was at least more present, I visited with him much more than the other dads would visit with their children. So maybe this was love. The thing it had been tainted because of his actions towards me which he never apologized or made reparations for.

He may have been alive, but he had been dead to me for a long time, and in '93 his status had caught up with his body and he was truly dead.

[Photos by Brown Estate]

[offscriptif]

Can you do 'Place the ROs in Odysseus's place as they hear that Penelope/MC created a clever rouse to keep suitors away because they were waiting for them'? Pretty please?? :)

ROs As Odysseus

Archie: 

You waited. 

Archie knew you would. 

A smile dawns on his face, warm and bright like the breaking dawn at his back. The wind is his guide as he runs to your side, to you. There is something heartening to know that your doubt on him never wavered, as neither did his. Not once in twenty long years did he doubt your love, your commitment, your faith on his return. 

Every night, he looked at the sky and dreamed of the look on your eyes as you welcomed him home, and every morning he looked at the horizon and counted the space between his heartbeats. The space were you belonged, the space that felt empty without your touch. 

Archie doesn’t bother entering the palace, instead he makes a straight line to your window and jumps into the room without hesitation, knowing you would recognize him without trouble, just as he could recognize you after a thousand years of absence. 

Gathering you on his arms, he rests his forehead against yours and takes a deep breath. 

Tears of joy glitter on his eyes as he looks at you. 

“I am here,” he reassures as the empty space within begins to fill. “I will stay.”

Adhy: 

“Oh.”

Plush lips fall in surprise, as tears gather on Adhy’s eyes as the words resonate on her ears. 

Twenty years. You waited for her twenty years, fending off the poisonous snakes that had nestled on your court without her to temper them. You had waited, and you had triumphed over the dangers the vipers had brought with them. 

All for her. 

There is a laugh bubbling on her lips, heartfelt and finally free. Twenty years being weighted down by her worry for you, suddenly gone by such simple words. 

You waited for her. You fought for your love. 

Her smile is wider than she had thought possible, her heart lighter than it had been for years, and her feet? Her feet took her down a familiar path. A path she had walked every night on her dreams. 

Until. 

A door. 

Carefully, she opens it and slips inside, a smile on her face. 

“Well met, my love,” she tells you before she surges forward and brings you into a searing kiss. 

Vicky: 

There is a thrill running down her spine as her guide explains the reason behind your delayed nuptials. Her heart sings as the pieces slot into piece and she understands. Understands that you waited, understands how you tricked them all. 

Vicky is unbelievably proud of you. Of your strength. Of your faith on her. On your grace. She is so proud she could almost burst into tears of you, but laying eyes upon your countenance takes priority. 

She needs to see you. 

Needs to see the twist of your smile, the shine in your eyes, the soft curve of your neck. 

She needs you. She has needed you for years. 

It takes a mere second to get to you, for what is the journey when the destination is so close? 

It’s unusual, but she doesn’t bother knocking. Why would she? It’s her. It’s you. Time might have changed you both, but she knows this. What you had and what you have has not changed. 

It couldn’t. Not now, not on a thousand lifetimes. 

The door opens, and she smiles. 

“Hello, my love.”

Carmen:

She is settled, as she steps into Ithaca. Willing to accept the truth as it is, and yet, with hope burning bright and clear on her chest. 

It’s a hope born out of knowledge, out of trust. 

She knows you. She trusts you. 

She knows you waited. She trusts that you waited. 

The whispers only reassure her and lift her spirit up. Not only did you wait, but you ensured you would be free to share your love once she got home. 

She is grateful. She will never not be grateful. 

There is a spring on her step as she walks to your room, ignoring the gasps of recognition. She can deal with the fallout later, all Carmen wants now is to be in your arms. 

So to your arms she goes, called as a ship is called to their port. She falls back into you like the truth falling into place, and smiles. Finally, after all the struggle, she is back where she belongs. 

“Thank you for trusting me, cariño.”

Milo: 

Milo had not bothered with detours, heading to your room on as soon as his feet had fallen upon dry land. It is the middle of the night, yes, but the room that had been theirs is bright, illuminated by the candlelight, so he decides to risk it. 

He approaches from the beach, careful to muffle his steps as he approaches the window. It’s there, standing on the sand outside your window still that he discovers that you did not only wait, but also made sure no one would take his place at your side. 

A fond smile dances on his lips as he hoists himself up into the room and clears his throat, laughing joyfully as you startle. 

“Hello, Your Grace,” he greets cheerfully as he jumps into the room and stalks to your side. Gathering your hand in his, he twirls you playfully and brings you into his arms. Dipping you, he brushes his lips against the shell of your ear. “This thief has come to return the heart he stole and to give you his, as your beauty has enchanted him.”

Blake: 

The truth comes as a revelation. 

You stayed. You mourned them.

They had never been alone.

A trembling hand reaches up to cover their mouth as the other grasps their hair in a desperate attempt to gain some semblance of control. Because you never left, even when they had thought you would. You had stayed. You had waited. 

Their cheeks are wet, their breaths ragged, but Blake doesn’t care. They have to see you, have to lay their eyes on you so that they can believe that this is real and not just another dream, ready to slip through their fingers with the nearing dawn. 

So they run. 

Who gives a fuck about prestige? About elegance?

You stayed. You stayed despite it all, and they will not be able to take another breath if they cannot see you. 

Blake crashed into the room like a hurricane, throwing themselves into your embrace and it feels like two pieces slotting together. 

Like coming home. 

Val: 

You waited. 

The breath rushes out of their lungs as they take one step in the sandy beach, then another, and another. Their surroundings fade around them as they follow a familiar path, the path home. Carefully and quietly- almost surprisingly so for someone their size-, they slip through the hallways of a home they had thought long lost until they finally, finally, reach what was once their bedroom. There they hesitate briefly, would you want to see them? After all this time?

They have doubts. 

But you waited. 

Heart racing on their chest, they slowly open the door to see you standing in the middle of the room, looking at them. A cut off sob breaks through their lips as they see you and they take a step closer. Then another. And another. Until they are in front of you and the strength leaves their legs. 

Val kneels on the floor and looks at you almost like a supplicant looks at their god. Because you are everything. 

Because you waited. 

“I am home.”

Rowan:

“They are still there, weaving-”

They don’t stay to listen the guides’ full explanation. As soon as Rowan hears that you are here, they start running down the familiar path. 

It’s been years, but this was their home, and they would know it no matter what. They would know you no matter what. They know you, and they know you are a clever little thing. Clever enough to full the bunch of good-for-nothing suitors that had filled Ithaca as they left. Clever enough to fend them for twenty years. 

They know you. Know that you can keep this going for twenty more years.

But it would be rude for them to make you wait, now that you are so close, wouldn’t it be?

The Spirits guide them as they run to your side, joyful lighter spreading behind them like a blanket of cheer. 

It takes them mere minutes to reach your side, and once they do, they give you a toothy grin. 

“Hello, sweetheart. Missed me?”