#*honks my little clown nose while doing so*

[delicrieux]

…TAKING WHAT’S NOT YOURS ! ⋆｡°✩

⋆⭒˚.⋆ chapter summary. he's more sensitive than he looks.

pairing. gojo satoru x f!sorcerer reader warnings for this chapter. swearing wc. 3.5k author’s note. just wanna say a big thank u to everyone that stuck w this story and loved it along w me. there's still one chapter left, so here's some mini angst before our little happy ever after. also, i've recently realized that nothing actually happens in this story. there's no plot. you just hang out with gojo and the rest. that's it. no great fights or conflict or anything. just spending time with him.

ੈ ✩‧₊˚

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CHAPTER 13: the hakone incident

you wake up smothered in an embrace, which isn't uncommon.

what is slightly more uncommon is that gojo is wound around you so tightly that even his dumb, big paw has got your breast held hostage. not much there to sink his claws in, yet sunk they are, still. you wiggle and grasp and dig, trying to extricate yourself from this prison, but the soft fabric that rubs against his crotch with every small movement has him hissing in your ear.

“sa-”

“mine,” is the first thing he mumbles, words laced with sleep. he cradles you tighter, hides his face in your hair. you pat his arm, ignoring his sleep-addled state.

some sort of half-coherent mumble is slurred into your pillow as a response.

“not gonna bother translating that,” you utter under your breath – it’s too early to be irritated with him, and he doesn’t deserve it also, since he is much too cute. however, “lemme go? i need to go to the bathroom.”

“no,” he stubbornly refuses.

“don't be like that.”

a soft groan, then a kiss to the exposed curve of your neck, and one more to the edge of your ear. his fingers twitch at the flesh, kneading and tickling, “fine, i need to go too. let's go together.”

“you wanna hold hands while i'm in the stall or something?”

“yes.”

he is unreasonable, but that’s hardly a surprise.

you disentangle your legs from his, untying his arms from your torso, then turning to sit up properly. instantly, your stomach flips. in the bleak, early sunlight, gojo is the first thing you focus on, sleep-dazed and smiling lovingly in your direction. cheeks creased and swollen with grogginess, hair a complete mess, eyes still crusted. you wipe a drop of drool from the corner of his mouth with your thumb.

once, he told you that he always sleeps the best when you’re sleeping next to him. maybe that’s why he’s so clingy, “morning.”

“yeah?” he mutters. one hazy eye blinks, then the other, and you can’t help grinning at the sight, “hi. hello. good morning, how are you? ‘m just the guy you're looking for, can i be of service?”

you try so hard to press your lips into a thin line, but instead they stretch more and more, “c'mon, up. long day ahead.”

*

you had expected to take the morning train to hakone, but instead, with your bags dutifully carried by a lanky idiot, you are led to sleek, black car parked inconspicuously close to jujutsu technical. suspiciously, you eye the tinted windows of the driver’s seat, expecting a personal chauffer – which would be way too much, but also quintessential gojo. when the car keys jingle in his hand, you blink stupidly, smothered under the sunlight.

“you have a license?” you blurt.

“yeah,” gojo says smugly, opening the trunk and dumping the bags inside, “to kill.”

“the circus must be missing their clown,” you state sharply, though you feel a bit silly for not knowing such a thing about the man you have spent 3 years hating and a few months liking enough to be willingly glued to his side.

he snorts, fixing his glasses and shutting the trunk. all suave and cool, he opens the passenger’s door for you, “got any red lipstick in that little purse of yours? could kiss my nose a bunch of times, see if it honks after.”

the urge to shove your elbow into his stomach and watch how he doubles over in pain is almost too tempting, but you resist. after all, you do have the mind to enjoy the view of his flexing arms as you enter the vehicle, the sight disappearing as he circles around to enter from the other side.

the interior smells nice and new – it’s definitely expensive, but your knowledge of cars begins and ends in that they have four wheels and roll fast when you press a pedal. you can practically feel the self-satisfaction radiating off his person, especially as his hand glides along the steering wheel. it takes a few moments of useless fiddling and some gears shifting until he begins driving. his hand seats itself upon your thigh, as though it had always been its intention.

“seatbelt,” he reminds, easily maneuvering out of the parking lot.

you slide the black band across your chest, buckling the lock, “thanks,” he mutters, palming your leg for good measure, “safe and sound.”

then, he slams the accelerator so quick and hard you're thrown back into the plush seat. the car screeches like a furious beast wrongfully insulted, engine purring loudly as its owner cackles. oh no.

here is where you learn that gojo is a terrible driver, as the speed limit is more of a loose guideline and traffic laws do not exist. he speeds past red lights that have you clutching the handlebar for your dear life, and he seems to delight in your mortified expression each time his eyes stray from the road, which is too much to be considered safe.

miraculously, you make it past the confusing and intricate tokyo streets in one piece and breathe a little easier. that is until you get to the highway, and he zooms between lanes like he’s playing a video game, jumping between cars and testing the limits of your patience to a level so extreme that you can hardly take it.

“could you slow down a little?” your voice has acquired a tremble, and you must be paler than you have been when you awoke. you think he’ll ignore you over the music, but he doesn’t.

he eases up just a little, and you remove your hand from the handlebar. it’s numb and tingly and aches from holding so tightly.

“i have some cds in the back,” he says, pinching your thigh. you think he doesn’t deserve to touch you like this, but unfortunately, it’s comforting, so you allow it. if you crash, you decide you will grab him and shield yourself with his body – his infinity will stop the impact, and you’ll probably live.

you twist and dig around, and once the cds are safely in your lap, your brows shoot up, “kat-tun?”

his lips stretch into a cheeky smile, and all of his grievances are forgiven with that, “they have a few good songs.”

“all of their songs are good!” you defend hotly. still, today is proving to be one surprise after the other – did he seriously listen to their whole discography because it’s your favorite band? if yes, that is very sweet. if he’s lying, well, you will not fight for the truth, because this has made you happy.

you change the music with barely contained enthusiasm and hum along. your initial impression must’ve been wrong, because gojo knows what he’s doing. he always does, and you reward him with a sweet smile for all of his efforts, which inspires him to lean for a kiss that nearly steers you both off the highway.

*

the first place you visit in hakone is not the hotel room gojo has rented, but the mall. you locate an expensive-looking restaurant and order your lunch – you, something modest and normal, and he enough to feed a family of seven. it’s always mildly fascinating to watch him chow down like his life depends on it, if not a bit off-putting.

“no one’s gonna take it from you,” you tell him when he slurps a noodle and almost chokes.

he glares at you over his shades, “shut up, ‘m hungry.”

you try to steal a piece from his bowl but he jabs your hand with chopsticks seemingly with the intention to break through skin. you yelp and shy away, wounded and afraid. he doesn’t even seem sorry.

he makes it up to you by treating you to coffee and a slice of cake, which he devours after you had a tiny bite. this is becoming a problem, but he looks very happy and doesn’t let go of your hand, planting quick, small kisses on the place he hurt, so you, once again, forgive him, as is the standard of your relationship.

shopping is next, and he steers you to each and every boutique that even marginally catches your attention. you pile everything you like on his arms, as though he was your personal assistant, and he, surprisingly, doesn’t complain. for the first half of you maxing out his card, he was stood outside the dressing room like a guard dog, shuffling back and forth, back and forth, waiting for you to pull back the curtain and reveal yourself so he could supply you with a verdict, which was always, without fault, “we’re buying that.”

he grew bored, though, and started whining that his feet hurt. invited himself inside and sat on the small chair in the very corner of the cramped space, very attentive when you changed in and out of your clothes. he even helped with the zippers and the buttons, and eventually, he got a boner from all this touching, so you had to stay for another good 10 minutes till he calmed down.

the blaring white lights, and you sweating. you stare at him, disappointed. he looks mildly uncomfortable, squirming in his seat and trying not to look at you, the mountain of clothes you discarded heaped on his lap.

“what am i gonna do with you?” you wonder aloud with a small sigh.

“i can’t help it. you’re hot.”

by the end of it all, you have acquired new perfume, a new set of luxurious makeup, and too many clothes to know what to do with. he carries your bags without you having to ask and leads you to get new underwear, but you make him wait outside the shop for that since you’re not risking another incident again.

*

when evening dwindles into night, he suggest a car ride around the city. the ocean breeze ruffles your hair when you roll down the window to admire the watercolor sights around you – the buildings, the people, the greenery, the mountain peak pitch black against the backdrop of the sky. you drive around aimlessly, and he's more subdued and mindful of the signs and the blinking traffic lights, his hand leaving your body only when he needs to switch gears. it always comes back with a little knead, and it always makes you smile.

“look, they're preparing for the festival,” you tell him as you pass by a closed off street of decorated stalls and convenience stores that look like they have been closed for the night, with two police men stationed across the entrance.

“you've ever been to lake ashinoko?” he questions idly.

“nope,” you turn another corner, the streets a little quieter, “it has the big torii gate, right?”

“yeah,” gojo hums, “we'll go there to watch the fireworks,” he seems distracted, “pretty stuff.”

“looking forward to it,” you reply, too interested in a display of colorful confectionary and sweets to decipher the tone of his voice, “where are we heading to?”

“dunno,” he mutters, knuckles slowly relaxing, “just around. you wanna head back?”

“nah,” you glance at him, a brow arched in curiosity. he looks oddly flushed. “you seem a little tired. wanna stop?”

“always worried about me,” he clicks his tongue, “’m a big boy.”

you pause for a moment. getou's words spring to mind, and you feel a bit nervous.

he's more sensitive than he looks.

maybe now's not the best time to bring up the clearly crumbling state of his best friend, but uncomfortable conversations don't have the luxury of waiting, nor do they ever fit into the right moment. you chew on your bottom lip in thought, as if the words would make themselves known without any effort from your part, but you find yourself no longer stuck on getou's haunting look but rather the way gojo seems a bit off his usual cheeky and snarky self.

you want to be a good friend. you care about both of them, and it hurts, in an odd, dull ache somewhere in your chest, when neither want your help.

is it so wrong to worry about gojo? you have come to terms with the idea that you like him, like him so much that sometimes, you feel half-crazy with a need to be by his side, constantly and without interruption, like today, like, hopefully, for many more days to come.

still, you are aware of the many walls and barriers he has erected to guard himself. and you, the person that likes him the most and has his attention almost at every given moment, still understand very little of who he is. you don't want to linger on the question if you ever will.

you must take example of haibara's endless positivity. step by step. even slow progress is still progress.

“i worry about everyone,” you eventually offer, more somber than you originally intended. still, it gets a faint snicker from him, and your cheeks puff with a mixture of amusement and relief. “you're not special, you know.”

“i hope that isn't true. i'd be crushed,” he teases back.

there it is. the little deflection that always makes you smile, despite how obviously it diverts from what's truly on his mind. it's a defense mechanism, you reckon. that said, you are not unaware that he has offered you little hints here and there, things he would only disclose in the dead of the night in the hush between soft laughs and your pillows.

without staring at him, you take a deep breath. heart light and fingers threaded against the seam of your shirt. here it goes, you tell yourself.

“i didn't used to worry so much, to be honest,” you confess, hoping he will at least listen before undoubtedly cutting you off, “but, i guess recently, i’m starting to see things from new perspectives. i know you don’t need it, but i still—”

he makes a sharp turn that doesn't seem coordinated enough, and suddenly, a stop-street opens to the left, overlooking a rocky beach and calm waters of the vast stretch of hakone's inlet. gojo parks dangerously close to the edge of the cliff and lets the air settle.

“honesty hour?” his smile is familiar to you, perhaps a bit too bitter to your liking. “alright. if we're playing this game, then i'd say that worrying is dumb, especially if it’s me you’re worried about. really stupid, actually. i don’t see the point in getting emotional over shit like that.”

“well, it’s not being emotional, it’s just—”

“no, shush,” he squeezes the length of your leg. you blink down at where he's touching you, and you look up when you realize he means to have the attention for just this. “look, what i'm saying is, i’m me, yeah? you can call me conceited all you want, but it’s the truth. i mean, i, okay, fine, fuck it,” he sighs, like he's annoyed, and you're just as grateful you can't fully see his expression as he likely is of yours, “a weak heart is not something to particularly proud of. i'm not someone that requires babysitting.”

this is likely the first time he has ever been so upfront about anything in his life, ever. maybe getou has seen this side of him, but even if that was the case, you'd never know for certain. you don't, however, appreciate the slight anger in his tone.

“no one's babysitting you,” you placate, careful to test his reaction before continuing, “we spend almost all of our time together, how is this surprising? and i don't think anyone would make an argument against you being the strongest, but you're still a person.”

you wonder when his hand slipped from your knee. he doesn't react for a good few seconds, as though gathering his thoughts, though you suspect, whether he was or not, this is not something he intended to dig deep enough to expose.

“well, yeah, duh,” he responds obtusely, but he offers nothing more.

this has gone about as well as you've expected, which is to say it has gone terribly, and it’s all his fault, because you were intending to go in a completely different direction.

“still a person,” he utters, and now he definitely sounds irritated, “the hell's that supposed to mean? you think i'm gonna roll over and let some curse get me or something? are you stupid?”

your stomach lurches like he has landed a heavy blow on it, and you need a moment to swallow past the ugly burn in your throat that your entire face stings with. somehow, what irks you the most is that you are hurt he would assume that you, of all people, would ever force something he doesn’t want onto him, as though the thought itself has made you a villain in his eyes.

as though stating a simple fact that he is human too is somehow insulting, somehow a threat to his title as gojo satoru and each and every connotation that comes with that honored name.

you have never asked him of anything. he's the one that started picking on you first, physically imposing himself into your life. he's the one that changed over the years and started showing new sides, he's the one that begs you to go on trips with him and buys you things and likes to hold you as he sleeps and complains that you make him horny even in situations that really call for tender affection instead of sexual advances.

you don't even ask him to like you like you like him, since you know that it would be met with harsh rejection. he would take it as a demand, no doubt, to be on your level – someone weak-hearted. his emotions have proven to be more volatile than his actions, and perhaps you’ve accidentally stumbled into something a bit out of your level of expertise. you can't brush it off with a snide, vaguely amusing remark like you usually would, nor do you want to.

you’ve changed, too.

still.

his hand is back as a vice around your knee. your jaw clenches.

that was uncalled for.

“you're being mean,” you mumble, your words hanging stale between you.

he sighs after what feels like an eternity, sounding long-suffering and tired,  “sorry. that came out wrong.”

“you've just started a fight for no reason.”

“what, you crying? tough luck, maybe try being—”

“fine,” you don’t let him finish, unbuckling your seatbelt, “sorry for getting so emotional. see you at the hotel.”

“what?” he snaps, head swerving in your direction with a new, searing glare, “no. jesus. just. no. what?”

“i’m heading back,” you insist, but you are stilled in your attempts at fleeing by his hold. it'll bruise if you really want to test how badly he's going to grip you, probably, but this unexpected argument has really shaken you. he's only ever been this prickly at the start of year two, when the sight of you invoked some long-simmering resentment that he showed by cowing at you from each and every corner, like some hellish echo, “let me go, please.”

“hold on,” his fingers dig, and despite how you try to swat at him, he doesn't budge, “there's no need for this. i'm sorry, okay? don't get out the fucking car, for fuck's sake, i'm serious.”

“satoru,”

“no,” he snarls, the sound sudden and vicious that you flinch from its force, “i said, no. i don't—you're not going anywhere. i'm sorry, okay, i'm sorry, i'm an asshole, i know, but just, just listen for a sec.”

you slump against your seat, lips pursed and arms tightly crossed in a way you know he finds childish but that, unfortunately for him, is a legitimate response to his infuriating behavior. to further throw him off, you make it very clear he does not have your attention, and that even if he did, it wouldn't do him any good.

you feel him slowly relax and tremble before petting at the little scratches he has accidentally carved in your skin in a way that lets you know he’s truly sorry. he lets out an uneasy sigh, fingers twitching every few seconds.

stillness. finally, silence, except for the wind that howls and the crash of the ocean below.

“i was talking bullshit,” he begins, the effort of it wearing him down to a barely audible, pathetic volume. “it's just, i can't... i don't know how, okay? that's the truth.”

“can't what?”

“you know,” he gestures ambiguously with the hand he isn't restraining you with, “there are certain expectations i gotta meet. i can't disappoint everyone. i mean, they wouldn't, i don't think, but... look, i'm sure you understand.”

“no, i don't, actually,” you snip, “i don't even understand what we're fighting about anymore.”

“i, just, it's, okay, whatever, fuck,” he thumps his head back against his seat, and the next words leave him in one big, excruciating spill, “i'm just not very good with feelings. this is all fucking crazy.”

like most secrets, they're out before he can reel them back. his lips slam shut so quickly that it turns into a tense line. you watch him, he watches you, and his face melts into something shameful. his eyes dart to the steering wheel and back, and you really hope he isn't planning on smashing the accelerator again to head face first into the rocks to escape whatever the hell is happening in this car.

“i'm not good at this,” he repeats slowly, painfully, as though you’re speaking different languages, “i don't want you to cry.”

“i'm not crying. i'm pissed off and i want to go home.”

“don't go home,” he rushes to say, “don't go anywhere. i'm not even sure where we are exactly, so just, calm down.”

“i can find my way,” you sniff irritably, and he suddenly looks utterly miserable, which you think is very unfair.

“christ, you couldn't even find the fucking bathroom in the mall, do you seriously think i'm gonna let you walk around alone at night cuz you're a bit angry with me?”

gojo really has a talent of saying the wrong things at the most right of times.

you scowl, “that's because i was following you!” yes, perhaps you did turn off your brain and mindlessly waddle after him, trusting him to deliver you to your desired location. is it a crime to be caught in the spell that is gojo satoru's enigmatic appeal? that should be considered a blessing instead of an inconvenience, surely, “don't patronize me. and if you don't quit being shitty, you'll be watching the fireworks alone, cuz i'm taking my ass to the first train and heading the hell back to tokyo.”

“sorry,” he bows his head, forehead softly smacking against your shoulder, “please don't go. i'm sorry.”

“sorry you went super shit on me?” you demand, still sulking, “or sorry you snapped?”

“sorry for... all of it, alright? i'll make it up to you. do you want new jewelry? you didn't get any. like earrings, or something. i'll get nice ones, okay?”

your eyes nearly bug out of your head, “huh? stop freaking me out. i sincerely hope you realize i don't hang around you to get free stuff. that's so shallow. do you even know me?”

“god,” he exhales heavily, like he's very, very close to banging his head against the wheel out of sheer exasperation. “i'm trying, you know. cut me some slack here.”

yes, you see he's trying his utmost best, and that's why you're already softening. but the sting still lingers. you will be gracious and assume that his attempt at buying back your affection was borne out of panic and is, overall, a genuine mistake, or maybe a show of something beneath the layers – who is he if not gojo satoru, the strongest, the richest, the prodigal son, the untouchable, unapproachable sorcerer? gojo doesn't deal with his mistakes gracefully. he overcompensates. he hides, and this time, he has failed to hide from you.

“and i don't want you to pay back the ice cream, either,” you finally mumble, tentatively reaching up to pet the mess of his fluffy hair as a show of good faith. an olive branch, because apparently, you will always possess a clearer mind than him.

he’s immobile for a second, and then he burrows even deeper into the material of your shirt, as though hoping to somehow melt away from it, and a heavy breath collapses out of him, “this is bad for my ego. don't ever take that control away from me. it's wrong. feels wrong.”

“fine. whatever. you win. happy? nothing happened, yada yada. friends,” you grumble.

“gross,” he groans, despite the clear warmth in his voice that makes your stomach flutter, “being a friend sounds a bit lame. but yeah. friends. and we're watching the fireworks tomorrow, yes? say yes.”

“okay,” you acquiesce, despite your reservations, “maybe.”

“yes,” he insists, stubbornly holding his position on your shoulder. he does, however, pout, and that lightens your mood significantly. “we are. right?”

“you have to be less annoying.”

“fine.”

“fine, and,” you start. you don't want to be cold with him, but you don't quite feel ready to let this go, “i want to sleep in a different room.”

he startles away from you like you’ve slapped him, “no. bad idea. forget it, it's not happening.”

“don't fight me on this, satoru,” you say, and his eyes widen slightly. “it's really not up for debate.”

“are you mad?”

“yeah,” you tell him, and it's true. “i'm not... mad-mad, but like. i need a little space.”

“okay,” he swallows thickly, like he doesn't like the thought of you so much as existing further than a ten meter radius from him, “got it. no problem.”

that must've hurt.

“just for today,” you assure him, “promise.”

he nods slowly. then, “can i… can i at least kiss you?”

you shake your head. no, not now. not yet.

“right, okay, of course,” he mutters emptily and sits back. with some space in between you again, you find his lack of warmth much more pronounced, not to mention the distance he puts there. for the first time today, when starts the car and shifts gears, the edge of his fingers doesn't brush your skin.

the drive back to the hotel is agonizingly silent.

additional author's note: i think dating gojo would be very difficult since he's so emotionally stunted that he can't express himself and he's too afraid to try. i think he would also have significant trouble being on the same level as someone he considers weaker than him (not in a bad way). the only reason he even formed a connection with suguru was because suguru, at one point, was also the strongest, and he was the only person that understood him on that level. reader isn't the strongest, and the connection she offers is really different than what he's used to. he lashes out, but he still apologizes sincerely. i also thinks he takes her for granted, much like he takes getou. he's supposed to be in control because he's the strongest, and he's likely troubled about his own feelings, that's why he's so frustrated.

don't be too angry with him, he's really trying :(

but anyway, stan kami-chan because she is a baddie and if a baddie threatened to leave me i'd be clawing at her begging her to stay too

tags (bold couldn't tag!). @shokosbunny , @jotarohat , @alygator77 , @fortunatelyfurrygiver , @finnydraws , @mastermasterlist1p1 , @eolivy , @letsmyy , @staruus , @k0z3me , @damnshorty , @kaeyakaikai , @n4melesspers0n , @midnightwriter21 , @sillymercury , @byakuya61085 , @stillnotherapy , @mydearchoso , @plutoisaghoul , @byerno6 , @bqvz , @harryzcherry , @noira-l , @your-sleeparalysisdem0n , @satoryaa , @cccandynecklaces , @stuffeddeer , @cherriee-ee ,

[buggyposting]

Do you honk?

Pairing - You x Buggy

Length - 560 words

Summary: You make Buggy honk during sex

Rated - Explicit 💦 🔞🔞

Tags - Plot What Plot, Dirty Talk, Light D/s, Mean Dom! G/N Reader x Sub! Buggy, Overstimulation, Fluff

~*~

You reached out a hand to Buggy's face. "I love your nose," you said. "Does it honk?"

Buggy pushed your hand away. "What are you talking about?" he snapped. "Of course it doesn't honk, it's just a nose! It's my nose."

You smiled. "Such a cute clown nose."

"Shut up." Buggy blushed prettily.

You watched him hungrily. "I bet I can make you honk, clown."

"I… I don't honk," Buggy protested.

You chuckled slyly. "You weren't listening, baby boy." You leaned in closer, bracketing Buggy with your arms. "I said, I can make you."

Buggy swallowed. "Oh," he said, as the blush rose in his cheeks.

~*~

You took Buggy to bed. You had him on his back, naked and legs spread as you had your way with him.

Buggy didn't protest (much), he was such a needy little sub. His hands scrunched in the bed sheets as he moaned in pleasure while you had two fingers up his ass and your other hand around his thick cock, jacking him slowly.

Buggy's long blue hair spread around on the white pillowcase as he threw his head back on a strangled moan.

"You close, baby boy?" You asked.

Buggy whimpered a yes.

You grinned down at him. "Let me hear it, clown. I want to hear you honk."

"Wh-what?" Buggy gasped. "I don't… I don't…?"

"Come on." You twisted your fingers in his ass and nailed his prostate.

Buggy cried out, his body tensing up.

You shifted your hand and gripped the base of his cock, cutting off his release early.

"Hey!" Buggy complained. "What gives?"  

"You don't come until I hear you honk," you ordered. "Now honk for me, you sexy clown."

"Fuck," Buggy murmured. He was a sweat damp and very pretty mess upon the sheets. He was so desperate to come, and he swallowed his pride.

"Honk," he murmured, the softest of whispers.

You grinned proudly. "Louder," you said, as you curled your fingers and nailed his prostate once again.

"Ah!" Buggy cried out. "Honk!" he gasped.

"Good boy," you said, easing your grip on his cock and jacking him with swift, slick motions. You fingered his sweet spot again and watched him come apart in your hands. "Let me hear you, clown," you ordered.

"Honk," Buggy sobbed, coming in great spurts. "Honk, honk… oh, fuck."

"That's it," you soothed. 

Ribbons of white come painted his abdomen and your hands. You slid your hand up to the head of his cock and thumbed the slit. "I think you got one more honk left in you, baby."

"No, please," Buggy begged.

He didn't use the safe word so you didn't cease. You curled your fingers in his ass to wring one more orgasm out of him.

"Ah!" he cried out.

"Honk for me, clown," you ordered, holding his cock as it spilled once again.

"Honk!" he groaned, utterly wrecked.

You milked every last drop before your beloved clown collapsed sweaty and spent upon the mattress, gasping for breath.

"See, I knew I could make you honk," you said smugly.

Buggy flipped over onto his front and buried his face into the pillow to hide his blush. "Don't you dare tell anyone," he said, voice muffled.

"Not to worry, baby boy," you replied, and smacked his bare ass just to hear him whimper with pleasure. "It will be our little secret."

[olinblogin]

Can you write clown!child!reader that plays silly innocent pranks and honks whenever they're really happy? I prefer if you made some headcanons/one shot with Kaufmo or Jax, if you want to add more characters then be my guest! Believe me, I don't mind at all lol

Ohhh I’ve been waiting for a clown reader tbf!

In the long run I don’t know to much abt Kaufmo bc duh he literally abstracted in the pilot— so please take my limited info about him with a pinch of salt

This one is gonna be relatively short because I don’t have much to work on plot wise since only the pilot of the show is out

(Theres no normal Kaufmo gifs so here 💀)

(WARNINGS - CHILD!READER, SLIGHT ANGST AT THE END)

When you’d first arrived, a lot were shocked to see you didn’t freak out like most would when first entering the Amazing Digital Circus.

In fact, you were quite ecstatic.

They were all shocked to see a child of all to be transported into the Circus. But you adapted quickly to your surroundings, even becoming comfortable with everyone, especially Kaufmo.

You spent most your time with Kaufmo, actually. You both took the form of clowns in a way, so it was bound that you two would get along.

To you he was almost like an older brother, always scolding you when you’d play little pranks on your friends. Some harmless, some a little less harmless.

Like the time you glued Caine’s staff to the floor.

Usually when you wanted to play pranks you’d go to Jax for help carrying them out, seeing as you’re the smallest of the group you had a hard time doing things as easily as the others did.

It was so fun all the time, every time you’d get caught doing your pranks you’d squeeze your little nose and make a honking sound as you dashed away.

Then, there was a new member, Pomni.

She was a jester of sorts… but oh, so jumpy. You tried greeting her with Ragatha, only for her to break out into a string of curses—which despite censored by Caine—Ragatha still covered your ears.

Eventually Ragatha was down on your level, “hey, sweetie? Can you do me a small favor?” She asked softly, to which you tilted your head in response, as you didn’t often talk so you used body language instead. “Please don’t play any pranks on Pomni, okay? She’s really jumpy and she might get hurt if you do.” You put a finger on your mouth in consideration, nodding happily.

“Thanks, sweetie. Go have fun, Caine is making us play capture the Gloinks again, I know that’s your favorite.” With that you zipped off and chased around the little shapes, while Ragatha took Pomni on a little tour with Jax.

You played the game for a while until you stumbled across the hallway of rooms, where some faces were crossed off with a big red ‘X’ for a reason you didn’t know, nor would you understand.

You were searching high and low for those little Gloinks but.. you soon came across Kaufmo’s door, it was wide open with signs of struggle being visible.

You peered into his room, he was no where to be found. You now had a new objective from the game, to find Kaufmo.

You searched everywhere, you even managed to get out of the circus to look for him.

But no matter your efforts you just couldn’t find him at all… soon, Caine caught you outside of the circus and brought you back, all of the group together, save for Kaufmo.

You made your way over to Ragatha, tugging her skirt, “Ragatha, where’s Kaufmo?” You asked in your quiet voice. Ragatha couldn’t bring herself to say it, only looking away in a guilty manner.

“What happened to him.. where’s Kaufmo?”

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Topsy Turvy Days in Savanaclaw

Father and son, in the same dorm once again… Oh yeah, and Floyd’s also there 😂

The King of Beasts, and his Spirit of Persistence.

Lilia Vanrouge...

... looks so out of place within a group of muscular Savanaclaw students, both in stature and in bulk. He relishes in the almost comedic difference in the proportions between himself and his dorm mates, thinking it greatly amusing to be surrounded by intimidating looking men. "It was the very same back in my days in the military or in Diasomnia," he chuckles. "I provide all the charm that is necessary, no matter the group I am in." Lilia gets a real kick out of acting overly cutesy while he’s surrounded by big, buff guys—it always catches passerbys off guard (“Tee hee! You’d better watch out, or we’ll punish you ⭐️”)

No one took Lilia all that seriously to begin with. The Savanaclaw kids constantly jeered at him, unaware that they were actually provoking a great fairy general! Lilia isn’t really bothered by it, but he had to teach them to properly respect their elders—and before long, he’s become one of the most popular people in the dorm?! The students he beat up especially gain a sense of admiration for him. (“You’re so cool, aniki!! You’re small, but you pack a punch!!”)

Oddly enough, the Savanaclaw students also come to respect the knowledge Lilia has to impart. Some of the boys come off as perhaps too gruff or quick to anger, but you can always count on Lilia-chan to be there with some good advice or his own experiences to relate to them. He doesn’t see them as violent or troubled kids; he wants to hear them out and see where they’re coming from. Not only does he give tips on how to be better fighters, but he also dishes out the wisdom they need for the most existential of crises—who are they, and what is their purpose in this world? How can someone seemingly so young possess wisdom that rivals that of the great kings of the past? It’s a mystery to the entire dorm.

In spite of all that he knows, Lilia wants to learn even more!! He asks the various beastmen that inhabit Savanaclaw about their own cultures and customs, as they vary from subspecies to subspecies. They’ll pal around and get rowdy as they tell their tales and spin their histories for him, and the more that Lilia hears, the more he appreciates that he is able to peacefully coexist with such interesting people.

Lilia rises bright and early with a spring in his step! He has lots of things to do before the school day even starts, and that includes liberally applying sunscreen and sneaking over to Silver’s room and dragging his son up for rigorous morning training!! They exercise and stretch together just like old times. Due to Lilia’s sun sensitivity, he has to cover up a lot of his skin (meaning he sweats more easily) and they have to take frequent water breaks.

Lilia’s sun protection game in the savanna is on point!! He’s packed his extra strength sunblock, his parasol, a sun visor, gloves, long sleeve clothes and pants, and an assortment of silly sunglasses. He has glittery heart-shaped frames, one that comes with a honking clown nose, and even a pair that has a twirly little mustache—all souvenirs he’s collected over the years.

The beastmen are particularly sensitive to the racket (practicing his music/singing for Pop Music Club) coming from Lilia’s room, as well as the smells/tastes of whatever weird UFOs (unidentified food objects) he has whipped up. Heightened senses are a detriment when the hazard known as Lilia is in the immediate vicinity!! Most recently, Lilia found a fascinatingly rotund grub which he tossed into a pasta dish that gave off an already ominous aura. (He claims it “tastes like chicken, slimy yet satisfying!”, but no one touched it… except Floyd, who ate it on a dare and laid in bed for the next two days with terrible cramps.)

Lilia casually hangs out upside down on the rope bridge runways. Since they’re located so close to the dorm rooms, sometimes the students get spooked finding Lilia staring at them dead in the face when they exit. He’ll just laugh and swing down, wishing them a good morning or sweet dreams—when, surely, he knows that his sudden appearance is sure to give some of them startles and mild nightmares.

“Kufufu, I’m quite enjoying my time here in Savanaclaw. Certainly, its fledgling prince and I may not see eye-to-eye on leadership matters, but that has no bearing on the strength of those he serves. This dormitory is strong not only in terms of physical attributes, but in character and heart. And truly, that is the strongest muscle there is. Without these welcoming lads, I wouldn’t have had nearly half as much fun as I did~

Floyd Leech...

… doesn’t really feel one way or another about the matter. He thought it would be cool to be a part of Savanaclaw when he was asked about it, but that was then, and this is now! He doesn’t linger on any one opinion for all too long. The thing he’s most excited for is just to be away from work for a bit, a trip where he can go and squeeze the daylights out of new targets sounds good in his book!

… Well, Floyd intended on treating this dorm swap thing like a vacation getaway but Azul and Jade still contact him about “business”. Azul thinks of this as a golden opportunity to sneak around for clues of Leona’s weaknesses. Meanwhile, Jade just wants his brother to collect samples of various savanna-exclusive fungi for his personal research. Floyd leaves them both on read because he can’t be bothered with them right now.

Floyd immediately hits everyone up to brawl. No reason for it is really needed, he just wants to fight strong opponents and to face real challenges to come out on top! … Anyway, Floyd decimates each and every challenger with ease (and, in venting some of his frustration over Leona refusing to entertain him in combat, sent some students to the nurse’s office). He’s bored out of his miiind!!

Of course, the dry savanna biome will wreak havoc on a merperson’s natural need to remain moisture sooo… Say good-bye to the waterfall and pool area in the Savanaclaw lounge. Floyd has monopolized it for himself, and he doesn’t need to pitch up a “Beware of Sharks” sign for everyone and their dads to know it. The instant you see his tail or head slowly rising up from the water, that’s when you start running.

Floyd picks up a pretty useful saying he hears a lot around the dorm (originating in the Afterglow Savanna). “Hakuna matata”, which means no worries for the rest of your days. It’s meant to be a saying that reassures others, but Floyd uses it to justify acting on his own whims. For example, he’ll punch someone in the arm a little too forcefully (to the point where it seems like a provocation rather than being playful), then follow it up with “hakuna matata” (it’s his ironic equivalent of, “don’t worry about it, bro”).

Floyd adapts extremely well to the more “wild” ways of Savanaclaw, letting more of his own animalistic nature come out. His sharp teeth sink in a little too easily into that leg of… zebra meat. He gets a little too rough when he wants to show affection or just hang out. Whatever Floyd does, it’s somehow magnified by a factor of ten—it must be the environment that’s bringing out the most of his inner wild child. (“Goodness, he’s really cutting loose,” Lilia observes. “It’s nice to see the youth so full of energy.”)

The wide open spaces of Savanaclaw’s lounge means there’s plenty of room for Floyd to monkey around without worrying about breaking expensive furniture. He launches himself all over the place in complex and increasingly dangerous parkour moves, his raspy, hyena-like cackling ringing out in the lounge and rippling across the waters. It’s a wonder how he comes out of those intense sessions totally unscathed, yet still manages to somehow tear up his surroundings.

No one knows where the heck Floyd found them, but he rummaged around and collected enough bones to make a working drum set??? He has a grand old time banging on it using two long arm bones as drumsticks. It’s a little eerie and odd to watch and to listen to, but it’s very “Floyd” of him to march to the beat of his own drum. Before long, he attracts a bit of an audience, participate with their own percussion or offer up lyrics. Even Lilia and Silver join in the impromptu song number (although Silver’s animal friends need some soothing to be comfortable around the bony instruments).

“Eeeh, I thought this place would have more interesting things. There’s no one here as strong as me, so there’s not a real challenge. Azul and Jade have been blowing up my phone for favors too… Maaan, they’re really tickin’ me off today. At least Savanclaw’s got alllll this space and no one can tell me what to do. Losers don’t get the right to boss me around. Ehehehe~ Survival of the fittest’s the name of the game, and I’m killin’ it!!”

Silver...

… is relieved that he can be by his father’s side in this unfamiliar new environment. He doesn’t doubt that Lilia can look after himself just fine, but his tendency to fret for Lilia’s wellbeing never totally goes away. It’s been a while since they’ve had some quality father-son time, just the two of them—and now is as good of as time as any to catch up.

Sebek bombards Silver’s phone with a wall of texts, each loudly (all caps) expressing his jealousy that Silver gets to spend one-on-one time with their mentor (while weeping about how he and Malleus aren’t in the same dorm, OH WOE IS HE). Silver’s able to calm his junior down by sharing nice little anecdotes and pictures of his surroundings—shards of sunlight piercing the sky, the distant call of unique birds. They’re memories he will treasure forever, and precious moments he wants to share with the others in Diasomnia when he returns.

Knowing that his father is not good with sunlight, Silver becomes Lilia’s personal shield whenever possible. He’ll literally walk in front of Lilia or contort himself into weird shapes just to let his father be a little cooler in his shadow (even though Lilia will tug on his arm and insist that they’re equals, so they should walk side-by-side instead)! “… What if I just held your parasol for you, father? Would that be acceptable? Please, let me assist you.”

The warm weather of the savanna is dangerous for Silver. He’s usually sleepy, but it’s sooo much easier for him to faceplant into the dirt in such cozy conditions! Luckily for him, Lilia’s nearby to swoop in and haul Silver off to bed, be it at the base of a tree or in a hammock. Lilia stays by his side all the while, sometimes humming a soft, vaguely familiar lullaby as he strokes his son’s hair, sending him off safely into the world of dreams.

He’s… kind of dense sometimes. Silver likes to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and think the best of them, even when the other party is clearly being an aggressor. Whenever he so much as accidentally brushes shoulders with a Savannaclaw student in the halls, they get all up in his face and Silver just stares back, bows, and offers an apology. Somehow he interprets every fight or provocation as a genuine mistake or an attempt to make friends. Just how much of a space cadet is he?! the Savanaclaw kids wonder.

Like with Lilia, fhe Savanaclaw students aren’t initially very friendly to Silver. Something about his aura just pisses them off (maybe because he reminds them of “those goody two shoes RSA chumps”, especially with that parade of cute woodland creatures following him wherever he goes). They do whatever they can to intimidate and pick on him, but it never seems to faze Silver. Their fruitless efforts eventually wear down over time. In the aftermath, it’s as though Silver’s “zen” attitude has somehow rubbed off on them… or, rather, they’ve gotten so fed up with him that they just turn the other way and tell themselves he’s not worth the effort. All’s well that ends well…?

Silver is the only soul willing to approach Floyd and attempt to negotiate terms with him to open up the waterfall and pool area to all again. (After all, he was taught that peace and understanding between the races is entirely possible!) He reasons that it’s not fair to their dorm mates snd surely doesn’t Floyd realize they would all be happier holding hands and basking under the waterfall together? Floyd only listens for a few minutes before groaning and diving below the water, drenching Silver in the process. “Do whatever, Jellyfish!! Just shut your trap, will ya? I’m about to fall asleep listening to you myself.”

He volunteers as tribute! In place of his dad, Silver will fight Floyd to keep him amused. It somehow blows up to a spectacle, hoards of Savanaclaw students cheering and taking bets for who will come out on top (Lilia is in the front row, all decked out in Silver merch). As soon as the battle starts, Floyd charges in full force… and Silver flings his arms out to receive him with an aggressive hug?! “I understand, Floyd!” Silver declares, his eyes burning with seriousness. “You were just lonely and wanted a friend, so you sought out attention. Don’t worry, I’ll happily be your friend.” (“HAAAH?! Are you CRAZY, Jellyfish?!” It kills Floyd’s combative mood, and ends in a draw.)

“I think this experience has been very valuable. I was able to spend time with not only my father, but with people of many different races. Humans, fairies, merpeople, beastmen… It gives me hope that, someday, we can create a society in which all of us can live together in harmony. A world where everyone understands the balance and respects all creatures… That is the kind of future that I dream of, and I will do everything in my power to make it a reality.”

[scramble-crossing]

23-26 with Coco please!

Haha weee Coco time (sorry this took so long lmao I'm in late-stage semester hell :)))

23. Favourite picture

I was going to make a comment about how much I like all of her A New Day sprites but I got distracted by her wiki page

I dont like this. I feel like she's going to hurt me.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours reminds you of them?

Honestly none I don't think? She's so unique I don't think anyone's doing it quite like her. The closest comparison I can think of is Iono from pkm ScarVo!

Not the most original observation but I do think if you swapped them absolutely nothing would change. I would watch Coco's twitch stream. Iono can and would kill if provoked.

25. What was your first impression of this character? What about now?

I did not like Coco at ALL at first

I was first getting into twewy during the Final Remix + Anime era right so I had no context for A New Day and didn't know Coco was a new character. I watched the anime. Waited for Coco to show up. Honked my stupid little clown nose when she didn't.

But then I figured "Weeeelll maybe the anime left her out. The ended seemed a little rushed so it's probably just game-to-anime translation weirdness. I'll play the game. She'll totally show up there!"

PINK GUMBALL SON OF A BITCH PULLED A FAST ONE ON ME TWICE!!!

EVENTUALLY I played A New Day and everything made sense but it sucked too so I was pissed off at Coco for a while 😔 sorry girl it's not your fault I was just bitter

It's really you talking about her that made me appreciate her more so thank you for that :]

[kiddoryder]

Carny Rangers

A commission for @dustinlaughlin

Hardy Wiley belongs to @dustinlaughlin

Blitz and Sophie McKnight belong to @loli-momo1908

At the hotel, Charlie was setting up some snacks at the table. Vaggie and the others were helping her out as well. After setting them on the table, Charlie left to go get the drinks. But when she came back with the drinks, Charlie saw Angel was about to eat the snacks.

Charlie - “Angel no! Put that down!”

Angel - *whining* “Oh come on! I haven't eaten all day! I had to skip breakfast! Can at least I have one snack, *makes puppy dog eyes* Plleeeeeeaaasssseeeee? *whimpers*”

Charlie - *sighs* “Alright but only one! I gotta save these for Sonya and Liz’s meeting.”

Angel - ”Meeting? What meeting?”

Vaggie - *annoyed* “Their Carny Rangers meeting Angel. Pay attention.”

Charlie - “They are part of the Carny Rangers. It’s like kid scouts but it's a circus theme. I used to be one myself.”

Hardy - “You were a girl scout, Charlie? Did you like to sell cookies and stuff?”

Charlie - *nods proudly* “Yep and we get badges and even did some circus shows too.”

Charlie pulls out an album and opens to show photographs of herself as a little girl wearing a clown-like scout uniform with other kids in matching clown-like scout uniforms.

Charlie - “There's me on my first day as a Carny Ranger.”

Vaggie - *cooing* “Aww you look so adorable!”

Charlie - “And of course my troop leader was my Dad.”

Charlie showed a picture of Lucifer Morningstar in a rather dorky troop leader outfit. The boys were all holding in their laughter from seeing the King of Hell in such an outfit.

Angel - *snickers* “I see he has a sense of style.”

Charlie - “He always made sure we had a lot of fun and earned badges too.”

Charlie turns the page and continues to show some pictures of her days in the Carny Rangers.

Charlie - *points to one picture* “There's us making balloon animals. I made a balloon poodle and named it Fifi.”

Sophie - “Aw, it looks so cool and cute!”

Charlie also turned the page in her book.

Charlie - “And this is where we went to one of Dad’s circus shows as a trip! The best part is he was part of the show!”

The picture showed Charlie and the other rangers watching Lucifer on a unicycle juggling.

Charlie - *points at another photo* “And there's us practicing our pie throwing. I accidently threw a pie at my dad's face, but he gave me a badge for such good aiming.”

The picture showed Charlie holding a badge with Lucifer standing next to her while his face was covered in pie.

Hardy - “Sounds like you had a lot during your scout days huh?”

Charlie - “I sure have, those were good times. *sighs in nostalgia* How I miss them.”

In her nostalgia, she hugs her photo album with a smile. It was one of her favorite childhood memories.

Charlie - “But I am glad my baby cousins can enjoy them too.”

Then there was a knock on the door.

Charlie - “Oh! They are here! Everybody be good to them remember they are only kids”

Charlie opens the door, and there, she sees Sonya in her Carny Ranger outfit accompanied by her fellow Carny Rangers in their matching outfits.

Sonya - “Hey Cousin Charlie!”

Charlie - “Sonya! I'm so glad you could make it! *gushes* Awwww, you look sooooo cute in your outfit.”

Sonya - *chuckles* “Thank you. The other scouts are here too.”

The Carny Rangers all did their signature Carny Ranger salute by pinching their noses and made honking noises. Charlie does the same by pinching her nose and making honking noises.

Charlie - *giggled* “Okay guys there are some snacks for you on the table just help yourself.”

Sonya and the Carny Rangers gathered at the table. The Carny Rangers were hellborn and some of them were young Imps, and hellhounds. Some even look older or younger than Sonya and Liz. They were chatting and eating snacks at the same time. Sophie looked interested in Sonya’s scout group.

Sophie - “So you guys do circus tricks?”

Sonya - “Oh sure, we do loads of circus tricks. We've been taught by the best after all.”

Hardy - “And who would that be?”

Just then, another knock on the door is heard. Charlie opened the door and saw it was Fizzarolli.

Fizzarolli - “Hey hey! It’s me, the fantastic Fizzarolli!”

Liz appears in shadow form and her face blushes from seeing Fizzarolli.

Hardy - *confused* “Who?”

Fizz - *shocked* “Wait, you seriously never heard of me? My face is on everything like cereal, toys, clothes, even people’s cars!”

Hardy shrugs his shoulders with a clueless expression on his face.

Charlie - “Umm he’s new in Hell.”

Fizzarolli - *winks and points at her* “Gotcha.”

Blitz - “Wait, aren't you that clown imp that works in the lust ring?”

Fizzarolli - *proudly* “That I am, my good bat demon. How kind of you to notice. Are you perhaps a fan of me?”

Blitz -*blunt* “No, I actually hate the lust ring because of the hormone overloading. And the kinks there are disgusting.

Fizzarolli - *deflated and deadpanned* “Oh.”

Then Fizz noticed Sophie hiding behind Blitz’s leg. Sophie gets a little shy when meeting new people.

Fizz - *cooing* “And who is this little doll?”

Blitz - “That’s my baby sister Sophie. *threateningly* You better not hurt her.”

Fizzarolli - “Oh relax, I'm great with kids. *to Sophie* Hey little girl, want some *brings out cotton candy like magic* cotton candy?”

Sophie - *eyes sparkle* “Ooh I love candy! *takes some and eat it* It’s so good!”

Fizz - “See? What did I tell ya?”

Blitz - *hummed* “Okay then.”

Angel - “So what made you decide to babysit a bunch of clown wannabes? Aren’t you like a big star or something?”

Fizz - “No, I'm still a big star. It’s just that ever since I stopped working for that fat greedy bastard Mammon I had a lot on my plate. Now I’m free to do what I want.”

Angel - *surprised* “You managed to quit your boss?”

Angel and Husk - *look at each other and simultaneously* “Lucky bastard.”

Charlie - “Yeah Uncle Mammon is not the type of person you would wanna work with.”

Hardy - “So what is your scout troop planning to do today, Ravioli?”

Fizzarolli - *annoyed* “That's Fizzarolli.”

Hardy - *shrugs* “Whatever.”

Fizzarolli - “Well I was planning on taking the kiddies either to a field trip or teaching some new circus tricks to get their next badges. But I figured maybe the teaching of the new circus tricks would be better since there is no interesting place to go to.”

Charlie - “Ooh maybe this can be a good exercise for my guests: learning to help young kids.”

Vaggie - “But that doesn’t mean you can hurt or prank them. I’m looking at you Angel.”

Angel - *groans* “Must you always have to kill my fun?”

Sir Pentious - “I’m sure the little ones will have a grand time with me. I know how to speak their language.”

Niffty - “I would love to clean up the messes after them!”

Husk - “Wait, so we're babysitting a bunch of kids today? I thought this was a rehabilitation hotel, not a babysitting service.”

Charlie - “Oh come on, Husk. It can be fun. You can even show off some of your old magic tricks to the kids.”

Sonya - “Yeah dude. I mean, you even showed your magic tricks to me and Sophie.”

Sophie - “Yeah! They are really cool.”

Husk - *slightly blushes* “I guess that would be okay. I mean it's better than showing it to some drunk motherfuckers.”

Ranger 1 - *scoff* “I bet he’s too old to show any good magic tricks.”

Husk - *cold glare* “I beg your freaking pardon?”

Ranger 1 - “Since you don’t wanna show us your tricks I think you actually don't because you’re just too old. Maybe you’re better off playing bingo.”

Some of the Carney Rangers giggled at this. Husk gets up with a serious face and starts to show them the best magic trick that these kids could ever see. Husk shuffled some cards and then he made them disappear. Then Angel starting coughing and some cards started coming out of his mouth.

Kids - *amazed* “Oooh!”

Angel - *annoyed* “Ya could have at least given me a heads up!”

Husk - *smug* “How's that for an old man?”

Sonya - “Wow Husk that was awesome!!”

Ranger 2 - “How do you do that?”

Husk - “Important rule #1 of magicians: Magicians should never reveal their secrets.”

Angel - “Ooh I got some magic I can teach you kids.”

Vaggie - “Angel no dirty jokes!”

Angel - “What dirty joke? I was going to show them the classic finger removing trick.”

Sophie - *shocked* “Removing your finger?! Won’t there be blood?”

Angel - “Not at all, observe.”

Angel began to do the trick and Sophie along with the Carny Rangers were impressed by the trick. Charlie was happy that Angel was actually spending time with the kids and not actually crude.

Charlie - “See guys? Told you it’s a good thing so they can learn to help others.”

Sir Pentious - “You think my invention can help these children as well?”

Hardy - “Depends, what kind of invention is it?”

Egg Boi - “Laser guns and bombs!”

Charlie - “Sorry Sir Pentious that’s WAY too dangerous for the kids.”

Blitz - “And what does have that to do with circus stuff?”

Vaggie - *glare* “And I thought I told you. No. More. Weapons!”

Sir Pentious - “But you don’t know when they are needed! Besides, it would help the kiddies with new tricks like ummm…dodging!”

Vaggie - *deadlier glare and poking his chest* “No! More! WEAPONS!”

Sir Pentious - *pouting* “Oh fine!”

Hardy - “I think it would be a nice change of pace. I haven't had a client call me for a case in a couple of days.”

Charlie - “Then it's settled, today's rehab activity is helping kids! *to Fizzarolli* So Troop Leader Fizzarolli, what's the first thing we're going to do?”

Fizzarolli - *checks the Carny Ranger merit badge book* “Let me see…”

He took out big goofy glasses and began to flip some pages. Then he stop at the one he thought was perfect.

Fizzarolli - “Ooh! After the meeting of the snacks and shit, we can earn badges that they didn’t get yet. Like there’s the animal tamer badge and people pymarid badge and-“

Sonya - “What about the Mammon badge?”

Fizzarolli - “Oh hold it little lady! That’s for the advance Carny Rangers. You squirts are just the beginners.”

Hardy - “What's the Mammon badge?”

Fizzarolli - “A rare badge that only certain advance Carny Rangers can get. It involves them doing super dangerous stunts like only certain people like moi can do.”

Hardy - *astonished* “Who in their right mind would make a badge like that?! That sounds highly unnecessary, not to mention unsanitary for a merit badge!”

Blitz - “Yeah, who thought of this, anyways?!”

Fizzarolli - *deadpanned* “Take a wild guess.”

Hardy and Blitz - “Mammon?”

Fizzarolli - *makes a bell noise* “Bingo! We have a winner.”

Angel - *disgusted* “Just what the fuck is wrong with this guy?! Is he like a suicidal sadist or something?! Jeez!”

Fizzarolli - “Hey he’s the King of Greed. Not the King of The Charity with Hug and Kisses.”

Hardy - *to Charlie* “Didn't your father have a say in this?! I mean he is The King of Hell.”

Charlie - “It’s not that easy to change Uncle Mammon’s mind. Changing Uncle Mammon’s mind is like trying to give a cat a bath. Plus, my dad tries his best to stay away from Uncle Mammon, not that I blame him since considering how he's always gloating that they're best friends, which they're not. He even got the nerves to say that Dad allowed him to create his own version of LuLu World.”

Fizzarolli - *groans* “Don't remind me. *clears throat* Moving on from that, let's doing something easy and fun to do, like...*looks through the merit badge book and picks one* Oh, like this one here, the Ball Balancing Badge?”

()()()()()()()()()

At the hotel’s backyard, all Carny Rangers all balancing on top of giant circus balls, like how circus animals would have done it. Sonya was struggling a bit trying to keep her balance.

Sonya - *struggling* “Man this is tougher than I thought.”

Charlie - “You can do it baby cuz, just keep your balance.”

Curious about the Rangers keeping balance on the ball, and deciding that it looked fun, Sophie got on the ball and tried it out. She managed to keep her balance but began to think.”

Sophie - “Hmm do I go forward or backwards?”

Blitz - *worriedly* “Whoa, be careful sis! You'll hurt yourself if you're not careful!”

Hardy - “Hey dude chill she will be okay.”

Blitz - “I just don’t want her to get hurt.”

Hardy - “I understand but you can’t be too overprotective of her. She need to learn and have fun too.”

Blitz - “Yeah, well, can she at least wear a helmet so she doesn't hurt her head?”

Hardy - *rolls his eyes* “I suppose that's fair.”

Blitz summoned a pink helmet for Sophie. But then he saw Sophie walking forward on the ball.

Sophie - “Look Blitzy! I’m doing it!”

Sophie also started to balance on the ball as well. Blitz was impressed and relief that Sophie can do it he magic the helmet away.

Fizzaroli - *impressed* “Kid's got talent! I sense another future Carny Ranger!”

Sophie - *excited* “Really? I can be a Carny Ranger!”

Fizzarolli - “Of course!”

Sophie - *excited* “Eee! I think this stuff is fun!!”

Blitz - *unsure* “You sure you wanna do it Sophie?”

Sophie - “Can I, big brother? *puppy dog eyes* Pleeeeeaaaaassssseeee?”

Sophie gives Blitz a super innocent smile that Blitz has so much trouble of ignoring.

Blitz - *gives in* “Okay fine you can join the Carney Rangers.”

Sophie - *jumps in the air in happines* Yyyyaaaayyyyy!!!!! *lunges and hugs Blitz* “Oh thank you, Blitzy! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!”

Blitz smiled and hugs her back. One of the things that always make him happy was seeing his baby sister happy.

()()()()()()()()

Now the Carny Rangers were trying to do animal training. One was trying to use the hoop for Fat Nuggets to jump through.

Carny Ranger - “Come on! Jump through the hoop!”

Fat Nuggets just roll around on the ground

Ranger - *frustrated* “Ugh! Why did I get stuck with the pig?”

Ranger 2 - “Because the cat, goats, and egg things were already taken.”

One of the Rangers was training KeeKee to walk on her hind legs. Another was having the Goat Bois balance cupcakes on their noses, but they keep on eating them. The Egg Bois was helping another Ranger jump through hoops, but they keep missing either jumping to short, get cracked after jumping through, or trip after the first step.

Ranger - “Maybe I’m doing something wrong?”

Ranger 2 - “Maybe you gotta throw him?”

Ranger - “Yeah! That way he can see what he gotta do.”

He picked up Fat Nuggets and was about to throw him like a football. But the squeals of getting picked up was loud enough for Angel to hear it.

Angel - *shouts* NO!

Angel Dust races in and swipes Fat Nuggets away from them. He held Fat Nuggets protectally in his arms.

Angel - *angry* “Don't. EVER! throw my baby! *coos towards Fat Nuggets* Oh there, there Nuggy. Daddy won't let them throw you. *smooches*”

Fat nuggets oink and nuzzles on Angel’s chest.

Ranger - “But we need our animal tamer badge!”

Ranger 2 - “And this pig isn’t doing anything we say.”

Angel looked annoyed, but he felt a pat on his leg. He looked down and saw Sophie.

Sophie - “May I try, Angel? I promise I won't throw him.”

Angel - “Well, okay, but only because I trust you with him.”

Angel places Fat Nuggets down and Sophie pulls out a cookie.

Sophie - “Look Nuggy, I got you a cookie. You want it?”

Fat Nuggets oinks happily while wagging his tail like a puppy.

Sophie - “Lie down.”

Fat Nuggets lie on his belly.

Sophie - “Roll over.”

Fat Nugget rolls around in a circle.

Sophie - “Play dead.”

Fat Nuggets gets on his back and makes a fake dying squeal and stuck it's tongue out.

Sophie - “Good boy, Nuggy.”

Sophie gives Fat Nuggets the cookie and rubs his belly as he nums on it.

Sophie - *gushes* “Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? You are, oh yes you are.”

Sonya - *impressed* “Wow! That was amazing Sophie.”

Ranger - “How did you do that?”

Blitz - *smiles* “My baby sister has a way with animals.”

Fizzarolli - “That the thing you gotta learn kiddies; you need to be gentle with animals. Take me for example, *pulls out a long flip photo wallet of pictures and points a picture* I own nine quieves and treat like they were my own babies.”

Charlie - *gushing* “Aww they look so adorable!”

Fizzarolli - “Oh I agree. *points at the albino handicapped queef* Especiall my little precious one, right here. She's the first one I adopted.”

Hardy - “I didn’t know there were fly dogs in Hell.”

Blitz - “They're called Quieves, Hardy. They're one of the most popular pets in Hell. I've seen a few celebrities have one or two.”

Hardy - “Quieves? What a really strange name. They look more like Chupacabras to me?”

Fizzarolli - *confused* “Chew-what now?”

Hardy - “Chupacabras. You know, those mythical blood-sucking creatures from Mexican folklore that eat goats.”

Charlie - “Oh, we have those here in Hell, but they look way different than they do. Our Chupacabras are more lizard-looking.”

As they were talking Sonya noticed Liz was acting a bit weird. Liz is usually more social than her sister but acting shy and quiet.

Sonya - *concered* “Hey are you okay? You usually love to come out and practiced.”

Liz - blushing* “Uh yeah, I'm fine, totally fine.”

Then Sonya notices Liz is staring at Fizzarolli, and she starts to realize what is wrong with her twin sister.

Sonya - *realizes* “Oh, I get it. You have a crush on our troop leader, don't you?”

Liz - *flustered* “What?! No! Of course not!”

Sonya - “Come on I know that look. I get that whenever I’m around Stolas.”

Liz - *flustered* “W-Well, have you ever considered wearing glasses?! C-Cause I do NOT have a crush on him! Nuh-uh! No way! Never in all of my life!”

Sonya - *deadpanned* “Then why are your cheeks blushing?”

Liz - “Uhhh sunburnt?”

Sonya - “Oh come on, sis! It's perfectly fine to have a crush. Unlike you, I won't tease you for it.”

Liz - *embarrassed* “Oooooohhhh, fine! I admit it! I have a crush on Fizz!”

Sonya - “See? Was that so hard to admit?”

Liz - *desprated* “What am I gonna do, sis? I never felt this way before!”

Sonya - “Just be cool about it and act regular around him.”

Liz - *deep breath* “Okay, I can do this. I can do this.... I CANNOT do this!”

Liz hides behind Sonya like a absolute starstruck fan.

Sonya - “Man this is so weird seeing you like this.”

Liz slumps to the floor in embarassment while covering her eyes and moan.

()()()()()()()()()

The Carny Rangers are now doing their next activty. Fizz was walking on his hands while on a low tightrope.

Fizzarolli - “Okay kiddies! The next activity is the walk on the tight rope. But since you’re beginniners, we will start on a short height.”

Fizzarolli creates another tight rope that is close to the ground and not way up high in the air like your usual tightropes.

Fizzarolli - “Now who want to go first?”

Sophie - *raises her hand excitedly* “Oh-Oh-Oh! Me, me, me, me!”

Charlie - *giggled* “I can see this little one is excited.”

Fizz - “Okay girly, you’re first!”

Sophie gets on the tightrope. Going nice and slow, she crosses to the other side of the tight rope without losing her balance. Sophie was feeling a little nervous but then heard her brother saying:

Blitz - “I’m right here baby girl.”

This gives Sophie the confident she needs and steadily approaches the other end of the tightrope and made it to the end.

Sophie - *happily* “I did it!”

The Carney Rangers cheered for Sophie. Even Blitz and the others cheered for Sophie.

Fizz - “This kid has natural talent!”

Liz was watching everyone cheering for Sophie and can't help but feel a little jealous for the little girl. Sure, she is innocent and only doing it for fun, but she really wishes that she has some attention from the troop leader.

Sonya - “Sophie is doing awesome!”

Liz - *grumbles* Yeah, I guess. *sighs* I wish I could do something to impress Fizz.”

But then, Liz felt the Carny Rangers book in her pocket and then had an idea.

Liz - “I think I know what to do!”

Sonya - “What are you thinking, sis?”

Liz - “I can do such an amazing trick to impress Fizz!”

Sonya - “And what trick would that be?”

Liz - “The most awesome trick of all time!”

Sonya - *worried* “That's what worries me.”

Liz got out the book and flip through the pages.

Liz - “See? They got some neat tricks that I can do!”

Sonya - “Well yeah, but which exactly are you planning to do?”

Liz - *points to Mammon badge* “This one.”

Sonya - *shocked* “What?! Are you crazy?!”

Liz - *shrugs* “Probably but I know I can do this!”

Sonya - “Fizzarolli specifically told us NOT to do this badge because it was too dangerous! We aren’t advance Rangers yet!”

Liz - *devious smile* “Yet. But once we achieve this badge, Fizzarolli will surely recognize me--I mean, us!”

Sonya - *shakes her head* “Dude this is a bad idea.”

Liz - “Oh come on, Sonya! I will do ANYTHING you ask if help with me this.”

Sonya - “Anything?”

Liz - “Yes, anything.”

Sonya - *reclunet* “Well alright it’s a deal.”

Liz - *pumps fist* “Yes, thank you! *pulls her in and whispers* Now here's the plan…”

Liz whispers her plan to Sonya while the other Carny Rangers are taking turns on the tightrope.

Ranger 1 - “Man this is scary…”

Hardy - “You got this kid, just keep your head up, eyes forward, and don't look down.”

Blitz - “Just remember to keep your balance.”

The Carny Ranger slowly moves across the tightrope to reach the other end, until he finally made it.

Ranger - *happy* “Yay I did it!”

Fizzarolli - “That's the spirit! I knew you could do it!”

Hardy - “You said it, Spaghetti!”

Fizzarolli - *annoyed* “That's Fizzarolli.”

Hardy - *shrugs* “Whatever.”

Sophie - “I wanna do more Carney Rangers stuff!”

Charlie - *looks on a clipboard* “Hold on, Sonya and Liz haven't gone yet. Now where are they?”

Angel - “Haven’t seen those Twuirts”

Vaggie - “Neither have I.”

Hardy, and Blitz shrugged as they haven't seen them either. Even Sophie shook her head since she hasn’t seen them either.

Charlie - “Sonya! Liz! Where are you?”

Charlie looks around to find her cousins, until finally she sees that causes her to gasp in utter shock. She sees Sonya and Liz on top of tall tightrope over a pit of fire.

Charlie - *sternly and loud* “Sonya Josephine and Elizabeth Charlotte Morningstar!! Get down from there right now!!”

Liz - *dismissived* “No worry, Cuz! We got this! This will only take a few minutes!”

Hardy and the others arrive to see what was going on, and have mixed emotions of what they are seeing.

Hardy - *worried* “Girls, what do you think you're doing?! That's dangerous! You both could get hurt!”

Angel - “Ya WAY too young for this shit!”

Vaggie - “Get down here now!”

Liz - “Don't get your knickers in a knot, It's perfectly under control!”

Sonya was in her shadow form and was looking worried on what her sister was planning to do.

Sonya - *scared* “Liz I don’t think we should do this. It’s way too dangerous!”

Liz - “Oh relax, everything is totally under control. Now let’s do this!”

Liz starts walking on the tightrope, slowly reaching to the other side. However, as she half-way there, something bad happens. Liz almost lost her balance but managed to get it back and she began breathing heavily. Liz was looking nervous as this was happening.

Sonya - *worried* “You okay?”

Liz - *nervously* “I’m fine! I’m fine *to herself* I’m gonna die.”

But Liz took a deep breath and kept walking but all a sudden, it started to get too windy, and the fire rises up and began to burn the rope. The rope burnt and Liz began to fall and scream.

Charlie - *shouts* “SONYA! LIZ!”

But then, just when Hardy and the guys were going to rescue them, Fizzrolli leaps into action with his high-tech limbs, catching the twins before they were burnt to a crisp.

Fizz pulled them back toward them and said:

Fizz - “You okay sweetheart?”

Liz was feeling scare and traumatized and just hugged Fizz tightly while crying.

Fizzarolli - *comforting* “There, there. I got ya. You're safe now.”

Vaggie - *relief* “Thank Lucifer they are okay.”

Charlie runs towards them to take Liz out of Fizz's arms as she comforts her.

Charlie - *soothing* “It’s okay sweetie you’re safe.”

Liz continued crying as Sonya tried to comfort her.

()()()()()()()()

Within a while, Liz finally calmed down as everyone gathered around her to hear an explanation.

Hardy - *sternly* “Liz we just want to know why you did what you did. You could of seriously gotten hurt. Or worse.”

Liz - *sighs* “I just wanted to impressed Fizz.”

Fizzarolli - “Impress me? What for?”

Liz - “Because you are so cool and I wanted to show you that I can be cool too.”

Sonya:l - “Also because she has a fan crush on you.”

Liz - *embrassed and blushes* “Sonya!”

Fizz - *chuckles* “Well she’s not the first.”

Liz - *blushes* “Yeah, w-well, not like a lustful crush like those other creeps do and purchase several of your robot duplicates. *sighs* I thought that... if I did something amazing, you would give me praise too, like how you've been giving Sophie today. I thought that if I obtain the Mammon badge, you would be proud of me.”

Fizz - *smiles* “Ah, Lizzie. You don't need to do something huge to impress me.”

Liz - “I don’t?”

Fizz - “Of course not. You just doing the tricks you are able to do is impressive to me. Heck, you managed to impress me with that prank you uploaded the other day.”

Fizz shows a video on his Sinphone, showing Liz committing a prank on Mammon during a meeting with the Seven Deadly Sins. She put a big bottle rocket on Mammon’s chair and ran to the corner. Then just when Mammon sat down, the bottle rocket went off and Mammon litteraly flew off his seat and bang into the celing.

Fizz - *laughs* It was so priceless! One of my top ten favorites!

Charlie - *giggled* “I have to admit that was funny.”

Liz - *chuckles* “Well Uncle Mammon did deserve it for being a total douche. He even ate all the cookies during the meeting and didn’t leave me some!”

Fizz - “That's what I like about you, kid. You being able to stand up to someone by the likes of Mammon. It took me a decade and a half to stand up to him because I felt like that I was indebted to him.”

Hardy - “Really why?”

Fizz - “I thought it was him that made me who I am but thanks to my friends and Ozzie I realize even if I didn’t turn out the way I did I would still be me. So you being you is all you need to do, kid. Just be yourself.”

Liz makes a big smile and gives Fizzarolli a big hug.

Liz - *happy* “Thank you so much.”

Fizzarolli - *hugs back* “You're welcome.”

Liz - “Ummm are you gonna tell my parents about this? I do deserve getting grounded.”

Fizzarolli - “Unfortunately, yes. It's part of the code of being a troop leader.”

Liz - *sighs* “Fair enough. Hopefully it’s only I’m grounded for 2 weeks.”

Sonya - *scoff* “More like 2 months.”

Vaggie - “Or 6 months.”

Charlie - “But we are glad that you are okay.”

Angel - “Yeah, and seriously, next time, try to think twice before planning on something crazy like that. Ya still a little shrimp to do something like that.”

Blitz - “Yeah you could of gotten badly hurt or worst.”

Liz - *smiles* “Okay, guys. I promise to never do something stupid like that again. But there is one thing I want to do.”

()()()()()()()()

In a Carny Ranger-like ceremony, Sophie was standing in the center as Liz approaches her.

Liz - “Sophie McKnight, for showing such great circus skills, I hereby dub thee an honorary Carny Ranger.”

Liz places a Carny Ranger hat on Sophie's head.

Liz - *smiles* “Welcome to the troop Cupcake.”

Fizzarolli, Sonya, Liz, and the Carny Rangers do the honking salute to her. Sophie squeal in happiness that she’s becoming an official Carny Ranger.

Sophie - *excited* “This is so amazing!!”

Fizz - “Also here’s your first badge sweetie: The Animal Tamer badge.”

Fizzarolli places the badge on Sophie, as she, with a smile, does the honking salute back to her fellow troop. She showed the badge to Blitz and he smiled and gave his sister a big hug.

Blitz - “I’m so proud of you Sophie. You really are becoming a big girl.”

Sophie - *hugs back* “Thanks big brother.”

Sonya - “How about we celebrate with some pie?”

Liz - “But let do it carny style!”

Liz took a pie and she smashed one at Sonya’s face. Much to her annoyance.

Fizzarolli - *gleeful* “Ooo, a pie fight! Rangers, pies at the ready!”

The Rangers grabs the pies and began to throw them at each other. Even Sophie was in the pie fight and she began to throw some pies as well. Vaggie had Charlie duck under a table but Charlie was happily watching.

Charlie - *happily sighs* “This brings back a lot of memories. Can’t wait to do this next week!”

The end

[ask-hannah-blog]

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Honkers!!!

Pretzel again!🥨🤡 Just been living my life thinking of you and how fucking sexy you're getting love! ❤️ 😍 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘

Been following your advice and giving my plushies plenty of attention these past couple days and I gotta say the new greasy burger joint smell my flat took on these past couple days has been great! Having your body produce its own food is super convenient too I practically don't have to shop for food anymore! Well, unless if I wanna spread my mayo on some other salty snack heheheheheheh! Hyuck that reminds me my feet haven't been the only thing that have grown! My new diet is super good and yummy but I've been packing on some extra weight because of it! A big pot belly! Look good on me to be honest, feels like I was always meant to be a greasy gassy lard hog, y'know?

I finally found a use for my dumb buckteeth! 🤪 they're bottle openers durrr! I shoulda guessed!

Anyways I figured for Christmas I'd treat myself a bit and got a nice mani/pedi (my hands with my colors, and my toes with yours!), and you'll never guess who I ran into! A real Christmas miracle! My old friend toe cleavage! Now as tempted as I was to jump her right there and thank her for all the progress she's helped me make as a clown I did my best to keep my sausage at bay and chat it up with her. Proper girl talk you know? Even if I think she was a bit freaked out by the fact that my feet could cover her entire face hyuck! 😳

Well anyway, as luck would have it, she's actually looking for a new therapist. So I figured I'd give her your information! If you get a call from her and she schedules an appointment, you know what to do, "Honey toes"! Up to you if you wanna send her back after she's done cooking. I wouldn't want my Queen to think I'm selfish!

That's all from me for now, but don't worry I didn't forget about that trade offer of yours! I'm thinking of buying a proper camera and put the video of me going down on my feet up online so all the pervs out there can really enjoy my brand of foot worship heheehhe hyuck! It'll be my gift to our amazing community!

Pretzel out, keep up the good work Hannah ✌️😘

Merry Christmas!

Lol Pretzel you nasty girl, living off a diet of mayonnaise and soda pop. When your makeup comes in you’re going to have a bunch of red dots on your face to act as clown acne, you greasy freak!

Good girl playing with your plushies like I told you! Mmmm your greasy babies have got to be taking after their mama by now. Isn’t that right? Their fur is getting ratty and knotted, crusty with your stinky cum. I bet your cum has been bleaching them, their fur turning white over time, while their noses inflate into big red balls for you to honk. Their faces have changed too I bet. They’ve all got big stupid Buck teeth now, just like their mama. But that’s not what I’m talking about, is it? No, but you know what I mean. Their faces look more…. Perverted now don’t they? Some are making Ahegao faces, others are just leering, watching you fuck and molest their furry friends with obvious glee. They’ve gotten bigger, haven’t they? You’re not the only one living on a diet of your cum. With how much they’ve absorbed they’ve been getting fat, getting little teddy beer bellies, big bunny titties, phat fox phannies! They just look so weird and freakish now, not like cute little stuffies at all huh? That’s because they’re sex toys, you in all your cartoonish perversion turned them into sex toys. Each of them is strapped with a colorful rubber clowny cock, or a slick greasy pussy. Lately your idea of playing with your stuffies has been riding a thick plastic bunny cock with your ass pussy, farting on him with every drop, while you plunge a slutty little piggy doll down on your weiner. It’s perfect for you! A gassy hog like Pretzel would have a big gross collection of perverted sex plushies wouldn’t she? Maybe the cute trans girl she used to be, whatever her name was would have cute sweet little stuffies, but not our Pretzel!

I bet your pot is sooooo cute! Why are you so perfect? I didn’t even think that you’d be blowing up too, how cute! Deep belly button? Fun to tongue? What’s it taste like? Can I bury my nose in it and just get lost in the smell?

And silly Pretzel your Buck teeth always had a purpose! They made sure that no one took you seriously, or thought of you as a real person! But the can opener trick is cute too!

Mani pedi you go girl! Treat yourself! I love that you have both our colors it’s like we’re married! 🥹 plus anyone who sees my colors in your yummy clown fleet will know instantly who you belong to! ��� I think all my loyal clowny subjects should do the same and give praise to Pretzel for allowing them to show their devotion to me!

I don’t know how you were able to sit through an entire pedicure without without just losing your mind! I’m just imagining these poor Asian ladies trying to paint your big clowny toe tails while you’re sitting there in the chair chuckling your head off while your big girl cock is flinging strings of mayoie cum everywhere.

Even if you were able to keep yourself in control I don’t know how they managed to stop themselves from putting those delicious salty pretzel bites you call toes into their mouth. Mmm just being so close to that warm bready smell must have been soooooooooo tempting for them! Hoooooonk!

BUT NONE OF THAT MATTERS!

Because!

AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

HOT TOE CLEAVAGE!

As in:

As in

I got you girl don’t even sweat it!

I don’t even know why she needs a therapist, but I know becoming a fart sniffing clown is the treatment! Hyuck! Trust me guys! I got the degree!

Studies show becoming Pretzel’s devoted clown slave significantly increase a person’s happiness!

Gosh, I just don’t know how I’m going to stop myself from fucking her the moment she comes into my office! I mean you’ve just been teasing me and bragging about those hot pictures you have of her I feel like when i finally see them I’ll go nuts! I mean her toes, they pretty much single handily perverted you! I won’t stand a chance! 😱 Hehehehe!

What kind of girlie should we make for Pretzel guys?!?! Definitely going to give her a big pink beehive hairdo and her hair will become cotton candy! Then she could man your pervy little snack stand with you!

Do you want her fat, or do you want to do that yourself? ;)

Should she keep her pussy, or grow a peepee? If so how big?!??

Should she be slobby like you, or do you want a cute little sugary bimbo who puts up with all your nastiness because you’re soooooooooo cute?!???

Hehe okay, I’m masturbating way too hard to all of this! Just so excited to give Pretzel the girl of her dreams! Hehehe!

[theyaremanycolours]

Because AO3 is currently down, here's The Curse of Pablo the Reluctant Goober

-

Razputin Aquato was in the ~~inter~~ Junior Agents' Break Room, eating a bowl of cereal at the table.

\It had been a few months since the Maligula incident, and while there had been some missions since then, most of them had been small, like investigating the Case of the Missing Tofu (Turns out someone had eaten Psitanium and became convinced that Most Roast's town-famous barbecue tofu gave her superpowers)

\It was all calm and quiet, a regular day, to be honest. And then, for no apparent reason, Raz was suddenly dressed in a clown suit.

\He ate unbothered for several seconds before noticing.

\"Huh. It must be April," he said, before his eyes widened "Wait, the Hand was fake, but this one was real...?"

\"What one? Why are you wearing clown suit?!"

\Norma rolled her eyes, "It's because he clearly can't take this job seriously."

\"You're just jealous I can make this work! Your clown suit just looks terrible\~" he said, honking his nose before realisation swept over his face

\"Oh no"

\The others were too busy laughing (or fuming in Norma's case) to notice that fact, and even if they were, the entrance of Dion and Frazie loudly singing, decked in only the most clownish attire. \"MY-YA HEE, MY-YA HOO, MY-YA HA, MY-YA HA-HA\~!"

\ Before Frazie picked up Norma "Oh my googly moo, my sweet sugar spice pie\~ I LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART\~!"

\And then she proceeded to kiss Norma sloppily, leaving huge Clown Lipstick Marks all over her face.

\And then Dion spoke, or rather Honked, a sappy look in his eyes as he kissed Gisu's hand delicately, before offering a big, beautiful rose to her Gisu, a little confused but honoured, held the rose between her fingers before it squirted water right in her face Dion giggled out a few soft honks before brushing the water off her face and gently kissing her face, leaving her blushing hard at the clown boy

\It took a few seconds before anyone could respond, the loud sounds of smooching the only thing filling the silence.

\ "What the hell?!?" Morris finally said

\"It's the Curse-" Raz began

\"Cursed aren't real, Raz." Lili responded

\"I didn't think it was real after the whole Maligula thing, but I swear this one is real-!" Raz puttered out "Or at least, it still feels real-"

\"Just explain it Raz-!" Lizzie responded

\"Okay, so, apparently my great great great uncle Pablo Aquato apparently thought clowns were 'pathetic, un-serious performers' and managed to completely wreck the Jester Association 's annual Clown-off three times in a row, so they cursed him and our entire family to become the goofiest clowns possible every time the Clown Off happens- Or at least that's how dad says it"

\ "If that's true then why aren't you doing clown stuff?"

\ "I'M TRYING MY BEST TO HOLD IT BACK I WANT TO GOOF OFF SO HARD RIGHT NOW BUT IF I DO NO ONE WOULD RESPECT ME AS A PSYCHONAUT AND I'LL № KICKED OUT BUT I'M SCARED IF I DON'T I'LL TRY TO PRANK ALL THE GODS -!"

\"Raz," Lili spoke calmly, her voice calm and clear "If anyone tried to kick you out because of you being affected by something you can't control after you saved the entire world twice, they'd have to go through me!"

\Raz looked uncertain still.

\"Look, you have my permission to do goofy clown stuff as long as you don't hurt anyone, okay?"

\Raz blinked once. \Twice. \The tension in his body relaxed and his eyes lit up. He gently kissed his girlfriend on the cheek, honked his nose twice and then ran out the door in a split second. \"... Well, that doesn't feel ominous" Lizzie said, right before Sam pie'd her.

\"What, you had a "Pie Me" sign on your face!"

[variantia]

BLACK STAR !

        “Guys guys, please” Black Star loudly chuckled.  Her face turning dark as she was ‘swallowed up’ by the Lazuli sisters.  Though a part of the Diopside was ENJOYING the close affections of her girlfriend’s siblings.  They were a happy family that wasn’t afraid to be affectionate and loving, something Black Star long desired herself from her fellow Black Star Diopsides, but could never acquire.

        “Oh, that?”  Diopside feels a slight tug against her neck when Denim pulls at the hood on her outfit.  “It’s called a hood!  People wear them on their heads to protect from the-” she felt herself cut off when Denim might’ve tugged a little too hard on accident “weather.”  Luckily Gems didn’t have to breath, otherwise Black Star could’ve been in trouble.  But the defective Gem LOVED answering questions that Gems, or human alike, had for her!

         “Ah okay okay” nods the short-statured Gem.  Looking for resources to help their own planet without having to harm another was a great idea, and Black Star made that clear to the group of Lazulis.  “Well, I hope I’ve given you guys a.. fun time!”  Laughs Black Star, pinching her nose a couple times and making a pretend ‘honk’ sound, like how a clown’s nose might honk.  “Did you guys wanna.. hm.. oh!  If y’all are ok with eating, we could go to my favorite Ice Cream Parlor?  It’s.. the best!”

           The undeniable truth is that regardless of Persian’s attempts to rein everyone in, the Lapises are going to do as they please.   The tallest of them gives the small black Gem an apologetic look, though if she’s reading the situation accurately, it seems that Black Star doesn’t necessarily mind all the attention.   Thank the stars for that.

          Sky pushes herself into the frame, giving a tug on Black Star’s hoodie as well.   “   I guess it makes sense ; most Gems aren’t as good at getting water off them as Lapises are, right ?   Guess you need something to protect you.   ”  Her gaze squints upward for a moment before returning down to Black Star.   “   But it doesn’t look like there’s gonna be any precipitation today !   So how come you couldn’t – OW, Denim !   Don’t nudge at me like that, your elbow is so sharp !   ”

          The only one who’s hanging back is Nocturne, if only out of fear that she might say the wrong thing.   Still, while her sisters are laughing at Black Star, Nocturne’s quiet but smooth voice cuts through them all.   “   … What is … ice cream ?   ”

[setethsbigbaratitties]

i have been Thinking about Seeker Fire Emblem again ever since you left tags on my post saying you made him into an oc too. pls tell me ur backstory for him *grabby hands*

listen. if there's one thing i'm good at it's making throwaway bosses with three lines of dialogue into My Character Now

first off for all the normal people reading this there are like three whole facts we have about seeker. 1. hes a bit of a cocky bitch 2. he seems scared of gallians 3. he comes equipped with a demi band, which allows him to half-shift. the rest of what i'm about to say comes entirely out of my silly little clown brain

ANYWAY my headcanon with seeker is the reason why he's leading a crew to plunder ike's ship is that naesala trusts him to lead a charge like that. which is not an easy thing to earn! naesala is, by default, secretive and independent and would rather get his own hands dirty most of the time, but sometimes he's busy doing other things and has to let someone else take charge. given all that i wanted seeker and naesala to have a similar motivation- something that they desperately wanted to protect- so that naesala would have a reason to see seeker as worthy of his trust

that's why i tied seeker's life into another of my OCs, a young raven laguz named dinni. she's his daughter, and he was injured (hence the scar on his face) and his wife was killed when they were raiding a beorc thieves' den and ran up against some feral gallians. given that she's the only family he has left, he's hellbent on providing a good life for her no matter the cost to himself or anyone else. naesala saw this side of him and saw himself in that desperation, and he made seeker one of his right hand men. so yeah, seeker comes off as cocky when he's fighting ike's crew, but in part that's because he's been around naesala so much and he's learned how to use that cockiness to hide his fear.

the demi band was a gift from naesala, because naesala knew he could use its power properly. i imagine that half-shifting is taxing on a laguz's body, but seeker is willing to take that risk if it means protecting what he cares about

i also hc that he settles down a little bit post-PoR and, while he doesn't exactly trust ike and his crew, he at least respects how hard ike fights for what he cares about

[theabstruseanon]

More wuvvy thoughts but the "I want whats best for you" is the more insidious part of wuvvy's sicko mode for sure and I think that it ties into her complicated reality of being left behind. Rue was someone defined by their role as MoC (out of personal fulfilment but also for acceptance), and while the role placed undue burden on them, it was something they took immense pride in. Wuvvy has faithfully been a part of rue's identity and pride as MoC, supporting them unconditionally, protecting them when it called for that. But now that rue is no longer interested in that role, they're willingly shedding that mantle for much deserved self fulfilment, while wuvvy gets left behind. Wuvvy is a part of rue's old life, and as far as rue has indicated, has no part in their new life. The most uncharitable interpretation of her line is one of manipulation, but the way I see it it's a heartbreak and spiralling loss of personal control that comes with change, even if that change is necessary. Esp with something as central to BOTH their identities as rue being the MoC (both cause rue has never denied wuvvy's subservience either. If anything, they've taken it for granted).

I've said before in notes that I think reading wuvvy's actions as only being jealousy is too shallow. I also don't think that this is one of those unrequited loves where the angst comes from it not being reciprocated cause i haven't seen indication that that's something central to wuvvy's fulfilment (hoping aabria doesn't honk my clown nose LOL). Wuvvy willingly left her court as champion to be at rue's side as a glorified errand girl - because she loves rue and what rue stands for and rue's vision and passion and love and personhood. And in all this time she's never expressed a strong need for "reciprocated (same) 'love'", just being with rue was enough. Her devotion was enough, rue knowing her, seeing her, acknowledging her devotion (her heart) was enough - she basically expressed that this ep.

The angst comes from the depth of misunderstanding between rue and wuvvy. That rue has been with wuvvy for so long and still understands nothing about her. This esp kills me bc (looks at the camera in Chinese) to understand someone is to love someone. Hell, so much of the rue and hob romance is built on "you understand me" like do u see the parallels do u see what I see. That they'd say you're my confidante and then say "I've never truly been myself in front of anyone before". That they'd pull them aside and ask them "what fulfills you?" and wuvvy's heart breaks again. And added on with how little rue is communicating to wuvvy, there has been no assurance, no plans for their (plural their) futures, no trust to deliver the first letter, then suddenly a second as if the first didn't happen, and wuvvy is not taking it well. And to wuvvy, whom rue confides in but like.... Truly hasn't been lately, there's no process or explanation of such a huge decision. For all wuvvy knows hob fuckin bewitched rue for politics like. FOR A MAN THEY JUST MET. Also??? Rue no longer being MoC means that wuvvy no longer gets to be with rue, and as far as wuvvy understands, rue is all too happy to leave her behind. Simple and final as that.

anyways I support womens' wrongs. Especially when the person you've devoted yourself to (and has accepted your devotion while [not to sound mean but it is true] it's been convenient for them) claims to love you (and worst of all truly did love you in whatever way they did) but shatters your trust on a whim with no true apology then takes you to a ball in matching clothes because you're their little servant but you're not really their friend (and even this is complicated by wuvvy's willing subservience to rue) and maybe this wouldn't break your heart as much if they didn't say 'i love you' too.

[wigglebox]

Are you aware the noses on your characters look like gaping mouths? You can barely see the real mouths underneath. The whole clown nose aesthetic is cheap and stupid looking. Your art would look so much better without it.

Okay sorry it took me so long to answer this nonny, I know you submitted it this morning.

The TLDR for you is: I don't care, move along.

However, I have a longer response. I wasn't going to answer this, however, I'm reminded that a younger me would have been very self-conscious over a comment like this. When I was younger, a comment like this would have prompted me to try and change my style to be 'liked' by people who were seeing it. Note, I would try to do this without realizing that I'm changing it for one person, despite many actually liking how I was already doing things.

You ask me if I'm aware my noses that I draw look like mouths, and that you could barely see the mouth? Yes, I was aware of that. There were two people two have made small jokes about that while also saying they liked the art overall.

Indeed, I'm okay with some constructive critique. I have been to art school, film school — schools where critique is needed to help you get better.

So, through this nasty little ask of yours, I did glean that yes maybe I should make the mouths more defined in some instances. I also need to work with color more to make certain things pop and blend. That's a perfectly valid critique, had I actually asked for it.

If you had a concern, worded it differently, "I like your art, it's cute — but I struggle sometimes to see the mouth" then that's not in my face, rude, and telling me that maybe I should adjust.

That's a good little critique.

But for the rest of your comments — you're asking me to care about your opinions, which I don't. Not when presented like this.

Do I have as many notes as other fan artists? No. But I also haven't drawn this much fanart in like, 5 years. And, I have seen other comments about my artwork that makes me smile. It makes me happy knowing that others find my artwork cute and soft. That's what I care about. I'm a fan artist, and the fandom's reaction is really all I care about, the notion if I'm making them happy or feeling emotional while looking at something I create (or write, in other cases). I'm not trying to get into the Louvre Museum.

Some artists want to be serious gallery artists. I do not. I like making art for characters I love, for a fandom I love, for a show I love. That's it.

"The whole clown nose aesthetic is cheap and stupid looking. Your art would look so much better without it."

I had comments like this when I used to draw like this [2015]:

“Why are the noses so red, why are they so skinny??????”

And when I was growing up, I had the same comments because I drew very long necks [2009]:

And then even recently, when I was doodling the last couple of years, I would see tags on reblogs of art like this, wondering why the bodies were so big:

Every style I wandered through throughout the course of my life has a story. Maybe one day I’ll tell you them if you ask nicely and not like you did in your ask right now. 

You’re asking me to change how I want to draw to fit your own silly little parameters in your own silly little head. That’s not fair to me or any artist you disapprove of.

Noses are weirdly important to me with art. You say my art would be better without the big honking clown noses I’ve been drawing, but I disagree. It’s the key feature of this style I’ve settled into and having fun with. I like drawing noses. I’ve also always colored them different than the skin tone. Noses sit at the center of the face and I often found it was sometimes the first thing I’d notice in a piece of art while growing up. Any style changes that I went through over the years always saw the noses change first [and always colored them red or pink! except that one example up there but that was a piece with limited color]. 

You want different options? 

I am the artist. It’s my style. It’s my choices. I’m not looking for feeback. 

If you have a personal problem seeing the face and not seeing the nose at first, then that’s your problem, not my problem. And the reason why I know it’s your problem is because only two people since I started drawing like this commented and thought they thought the noses were mouths at first, but then happily moved on. Everyone else has been supportive, and I’m grateful for their comments. But no one else has raised an issue. If they had, then I would re-evaluate how I went about things while trying to stick to a style that meant a lot to me. 

And, I would hope if there was a deeper problem with my art, people would approach me in a kinder way than you did. 

For any and all artists out there who have self doubt and receive comments like this: ignore them. 

I know I did not, lol, but I wanted to discuss this for others who may get comments like this and then get very self conscious about their art. 

If everyone drew in the same way, created in the same way, did everything in the same way, then the world would be a very very dull place. Draw how you want to draw. It will resonate with the audience it finds. And if some people don’t like it, then I’m hoping they just scoll past and don’t piss in your inbox like this anon did. 

I’m going to keep drawing my noses. I’m going to keep drawing the snuggle pictures and other little cute things because I can. It gives me joy. Others have smiled at it. 

I suffer from enough self esteeem issues when it come to my writing, but I’ve been drawing way too long to care about someone like you, Anon. 

[flowertot-s]

😎 😳🕶️🤏 Pegging Cove you say... Can you do some headcanons for that? 🛐🛐🛐🛐

anon: pegging cove headcanons BLS i need it

anon: P-pegging Cove Holden hc plz;;; *honks clown nose*

ok listen. i know i said i would do these a hot minute ago but i got overwhelmed but i am HERE and more than prepared to tackle this now. also to that anon who asked for breeding kink cove i’m sorry but i just can’t get into the groove of that right now babes, i PROMISE that i tried

this is with an implied fem!mc but no pronouns are mentioned just fyi, as always minors dni <3

so. here we are. 

i always knew it would come to this. 

so like. my boy cove is already kind of curious about the whole idea of pegging but he’s like. lowkey kind of embarrassed about it because you’ve both been pretty vanilla when it comes to sex with a few rare exceptions

he has definitely nutted in his pants thinking about it tbh

he also has no idea how he’d go about asking you if you’d be into it

so he’s both relieved and INCREDIBLY flustered when you ask him out of the blue one day if he’d let you peg him via text

probably goes like:

MC: important hypothetical question. would u let me peg u yes or no

MC: hypothetically of course

Cove: hwat the fuvk

MC: it’s a yes or no question babes

Cove: HhjH

needless to say. he needs a second. 

but once he is Able to gather his thoughts together he’s at least a little excited about it and will even help pick out a strapon (he’s blushing the entire time you’re in the store and thinks everyone is staring at him which like. babes. everyone is here for the same thing it’s okay.)

he’s still really nervous about it but knowing that he’s in your more than capable hands he feels a little more at ease

the whole process of prepping gets him really worked up, like this mans is about to bust a nut as soon as you put a single finger in

he WILL try to hide his face and his moans which is unacceptable honestly because it truly is magical how angelic he looks throughout this whole process

when you’re kneeling over him stroking the strap on with lube he is. so turned on it’s not even funny. 

once you slowly start to enter him he is fighting the urge to cum on the spot

like you gotta take it slow with these kinds of things or else it’ll be super uncomfortable and painful, and you’re easing into him as gently as you possibly can but like. he is DESPERATE for you to get a move on. 

he’s definitely the type to wiggle his hips against you once you bottom out

speaking of bottoming out. his FACE. he is gorgeous and beautiful and so flustered in this moment. 

like he has been WAITING for this for a hot minute and he honestly can’t believe how lucky he is

depending on the mood you could either go soft and slow or rough and fast, he’s honestly into both

every time you thrust into him he lets out such a heavenly moan, its BEAUTIFUL

he can and will whine if you stop rocking your hips into him, he’s just so needy and desperate in this moment that he forgets that he was even embarrassed before

can and will beg. ESPECIALLY if you praise him and call him a good boy

once he cums he cums HARD. like he never even thought it was possible to feel that good. he feels this white hot pleasure and spasms all over his body and he gets a little overwhelmed

aftercare is very gentle and tender. he just wants to be held while he tries to ground himself (pls tell him he did a good job, he deserves it)

after all is said and done and he’s more coherent he will Definitely want to repay the favour

all in all, a very wonderful experience for both of you

[chocoenvy]

honks my lil clown nose

for today's tsaritsa simping I offer u dragon!tsaritsa. yknow all those designs of zhongli with features from his exuvia like his tail and horns while still being in a mostly human form.........that but with the tsaritsa. also she gets bigger teef that's a requirement and I will die on this hill

but she gets even more clingy and possessive because every dragon needs a hoard and your her favorite treasure :) - eros

my little woman-loving heart can't handle this

Her teef are so big in her exuvia form that they poke out from behind her mouth. Pro tip: if you move her lips back with your thumbs she'll probably pass out from how flustered she is

ASLFKJASDFSDL CUDDLING BECOMES 10000X BETTER- She'll wrap her arms, legs, and tail around you, like you're a life-sized teddy bear. And her tail is probably very long and very strong she could 100% pick you up with it.

Also her nuzzling into you like a cat asking for pets. Please pet her head and horns she'll get addicted to the feeling and keep on asking you to do it because nobody has ever touched her head or horns before she just likes it skafjadslfjdsac;ladskjfa

gOING BACK TO STRONK TAIL if she's jealous of anyone talking to you she'll just.... wrap her tail around you and fling you back into her. Leaving her lap to go get something? No you're not :) You're having a friendly chat with one of her harbingers? But... she wants to hold you... so she'll just... yoink you :>

[wormstacheangel]

reminder I am watching The Nanny and I can't help but write scenes as destiel. So here is my second one. I think this one is a bit more sitcom, especially towards the end :) This is for episode 1x11.

wc: 1.7k

The kids have been having a hard time with the one night they don’t have Dean to tuck them in. Whatever Cas did, the kids would correct him and tell him Dean did it this way or did it that way. He simply couldn’t get it right. Even Claire was missing Dean, showing her fear of losing the one person who finally got her to be less angry at the world.

After finally getting the kids to bed, Cas walks into the kitchen to find Balthazar lounging around in his robe with a drink in one hand and scrolling through movie reviews with the other. Cas stands over his shoulder, trying to read it, but his eyes gaze over, not caring enough but still, he sighs.

“Would you like a drink, sir?” Balthazar sounded exasperated with him already, even if he has only been in the room for less than a minute.

“Please.” Cas fetches a cup and holds it out for Balthazar to pour some whiskey into it. He has been feeling restless all night but can’t pinpoint the reason why. “You know, Mr. Winchester would have loved talking about horrible movies with you.”

“Yes. I know.”

“I wonder how he is.”

“I’m sure he is enjoying his date, sir.” Balthazar takes a sip of his drink as he keeps his eyes on the screen in front of him.

Cas walks over to stand by the kitchen island. He already undid his tie, undid his top four buttons, and he can’t imagine how his hair looked after pacing the living room for a good 20 minutes.

He swirled his drink before downing the whole thing in one gulp.

“Or he can be having a miserable time, sir. The man was a mortician, after all. I don’t think that would fit Mr. Winchester’s happy-go-lucky attitude very well.”

Cas perks up at that, feeling his chest warm-up — probably because of the drink actually— as he stands up straighter with a hopeful grin. “You think so?”

“Have I ever wronged you, sir?”

“You’re right, Balthazar! He would never like that-that depressing man.” Cas smile grows. “Cause you know, the kids, they would miss him very much if he left.”

Balthazar shuts his laptop as he rolls his eyes, “For god’s sake, sir! It’s only the first-!” He looks at Cas’s stunned expression before slowly falling back in his chair, a cheeky smile on his face. “I mean, with all due respect, sir.”

“Yes.” Cas sighs, ignoring the outburst. “I think you’re right. I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I?”

“Maybe a tad bit, sir.”

A chuckle came out of his mouth as Cas opens the trash can and plucks out the bag to throw it outside. He walks towards the back door as he says, “I didn’t see anything between them anyways. I’m sure it’ll be fine!”

Cas pulls the back door open only to find Dean and his date making out. Leaving Cas standing there stunned and fumbling, not knowing if he should break them apart or close the door.

“I don’t see anything between them either, sir.” Balthazar joked as they both watched Dean press closer to his date. Unaware of their audience. Balthazar was the one to finally close the door, taking the bag of trash away from Cas, as he leads him towards the stairs. “I believe it’s time for you to go to bed, Mr. Novak.”

“Yes. Yes. You’re probably right.” Cas shook his head, hoping to erase that image away like an etch a sketch, but he still saw Dean’s mouth being sucked on. “Goodnight.”

“Night, sir.”

(More Under The Cut)

In the morning, Cas somehow convinced himself—Balthazar was only half-listening to his words anyways— to talk to Dean about the rules of the house. It had to be done. He didn’t want Dean to bring home strange people to his home, where his children lived. He didn’t want to see—or better yet— he didn’t want his kids to see Dean bring people into his room.

What kind of example will that present to them? Not a very good one.

He knocks at the door and quickly gets an answer to come in; Dean never hesitates to have any of the kids in his room. Cas would usually find them all curled up in Dean’s bed watching cartoons on a Sunday morning.

“Good morning, Mr. Winchester.” Cas poked his head into the room first, and that enough stopped him short. Dean looked like he was getting ready to go out.

Dean is dressed in a comfortable-looking robe, no shirt, and he’s assuming no pants by the fact that he can see a peek of his thighs from the slit in the front.

“Morning, Mr. Novak. What can I do for you?” Dean turned back to the mirror, a small smile stretched across his lips as he continued to fix his hair.

“I just wanted to talk about your um—You know we have rules in this house, and I just wanted to make sure you know them.”

“Oh, I think you have me confused with Claire. She’s two doors down.” Dean teased.

“No. No, this is about your date. About you having dates. And-And having…dates.” Cas sighed the last word, unable to get the word he wants out without his whole body warming up. “Anyways,” He cleared his throat. “The rules of the house with me-”

“Oh, with you? Gosh, maybe I should have read the fine print better.” Dean teased, winking at him through his reflection as he ran his hands through his growing hair.

“No. Not like that!”

“Let me get this straight.” Dean turns to face Cas before practically strutting over to Cas, half-dressed in a semi-open robe. Cas eyes struggle not to travel on the man before him. “We are talking about having sex in my room.”

“Well, not-not us. Not we.” Cas nervous gestures between them, noticing his hand hit Dean’s bare chest in the process because they were standing so damn close.

“We already covered that.” Dean winks at him again, making Cas’s heart race. “Don’t worry, Mr. Novak, I won’t do anything to show a bad example for the children.”

“Good.” Cas stuffs his hands in his pockets as he rocks on his heels. “Yes. Good. Okay!”

“Okay.” Dean turns back to the mirror.

“Where are you going anyways?” That sounded way too demanding. “If I may ask?”

“Well, if you must know. I got another date. We’re meeting for lunch.”

“Again?”

“Yeah. Well, I gotta eat.”

“Of course. Well, have fun, Mr. Winchester.”

“Thank you, Mr. Novak. Nice chat.”

Cas makes his way out of the room, bumping on furniture as he went.

Cas walks into the kitchen that same afternoon to find Dean sitting on the kitchen counter, shoveling ice cream into his mouth. Cas quickly rushes over to take the spoon away from him.

“Mr. Winchester! You are lactose intolerant!”

“Well, I deserve a little bit of ice cream after the crap day I had, and the coconut milk one you got me is still frozen solid!”

“Oh,” Cas puts the ice cream away before walking back to him. “Date didn’t go so well this time? Was it the whole creepy mortician life?”

“No,” Dean sighs, watching as Cas runs the Dean-friendly fudge brownie ice cream under some hot water. “Weirdly enough, I was getting used to the idea.”

“Then, what was wrong with him?” Cas hands Dean a spoon, and they both dig into the still hard ice cream, but they can still scape a few bits off. Cas tried not to follow the way Dean’s tongue pokes out and licks at the spoon.

“He was a clown.” Dean sighs, spinning the spoon in his hand before aggressively digging at the pint of ice cream.

“In what way?”

“In a clown way.”

“What-?”

“Red nose! Big shoes! You want me to google it for you?” Cas looks stunned by the outburst. But it clicks; he means an actual fucken clown. He tried not to laugh as Dean let out a defeated sigh. “Sorry. I just thought…I just thought I finally found someone. You know? I’m 30. I should have found someone already.”

“I’m sorry, Dean. But I’m sure you will. You’ll find someone special who won’t honk their nose at you.” Cas bops Dean’s nose, it’s awkward, but Dean still chuckles when he pushes Cas’s hand away.

The atmosphere around them was warm and comforting, something he wishes to drown in. But in a respectable boss-and-employee-who-lives-with-him kind of way. The smile they share fades a little as they look away, and then Dean jumps off the counter with a yawn.

“I’m gonna head to bed now. Goodnight, Mr. Novak.”

“Goodnight, Mr. Winchester.”

And just like that, they are back to professionals.

The following day, Dean is in the room talking to Sam about his dating life.

“You just think the perfect person is gonna knock at your door yelling out ‘there you are! I found you!’”

“Oh, there you are.” Cas walks in, neither Sam nor Dean notices the coincidence, holding out two different ties. “What tie should I wear? Blue or yellow?”

“Blue. Goes great with your eyes.” Dean turns around to tie the tie nicely around Cas’s neck. Sam gave them no attention as it was an action that happens regularly.

When he was done, he fixes Cas’s collar and pats his shoulder before telling him he looks good.

“Thank you, Mr. Winchester.”

Cas walks out of the room while Dean continues to get ready as he talks. “I just want a person who actually respects and values my opinions, not just my pretty face.”

“Ah, sorry to bother you again, Mr. Winchester,” Cas walks back in. “but I do value your opinion. Should I wear the gold cufflinks or the silver?”

“Gold is a classic. But make sure it’s those nice ones Claire picked out for you. She’ll love to see them.”

“Oh, yes. Thank you! That would be great.” Cas walks out of the room with a grateful smile.

Sam is still flipping through Dean’s magazine collection as he sighs, “Yeah, Dean, that’s never going to happen. You should have just dated the damn clown,”

“And what? Never see you again cause you’ll be scared my boyfriend is in full makeup? No, thank you. Now let’s go before we’re late to the damn game.”

[foibles-fables]

With what came out in the Singapore ratings for Horizon Forbidden West, in your expert opinion, what do you think that means for the game? Do you still have hope for romance for Aloy? Or like Zero Dawn, will any overt romance/relationships be between side characters, with continued flirting and subtext for Aloy?

lol, "expert opinion" = "leader of the clown parade," really. You flatter me, Sunglasses, and I'll gladly answer your (potentially spoilery) question under the cut!

Also--this is probably a good time to reiterate that I will only be posting about or discussing officially-released and authorized Horizon material (like this article, other mag articles, Guerrilla posts, etc.) on all of my socials. This is strictly a leak-free zone.

So this question relates to this article about the game being rated in Singapore...with the headline Horizon Forbidden West Rating Mentions “Alien Monsters” and “Same Sex Relationships," which truly came for my kneecaps first thing on a Monday morning. Here's the detail re: the question:

"Some of the story scenes contain references to same sex relationships, where various characters mention their partners during conversations with the protagonist."

So it's true that the language in this article does lean towards the latter option here, anon. Think like, the Oseram man in the Honor the Fallen quest, or Jorgriz and Beladga. Which--for the record, I would be completely cool with! Subtext is what I'm used to and I can make a meal out of anything.

But--given certain new mechanics (i.e. friends likely having Focuses), the repeated emphasis on "investing in our side characters," and the fact that the devs have noted that they do want to explore these things for Aloy, I personally will be continuing to honk my clown nose (albeit a little nervously) until we get our hands on the game. I've been smelling something cooking for a while now, and I'm a little too stubborn of a person to give up on it just yet.

(I'm...honestly more concerned about the alleged Alien Monsters. Which can really be its whole own post, lmao.)