#*ahem* CRISP

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

Send help, one of my good friends is trying to advertise me like I’m on sale for limited time LMFAO.

[sergle]

always taking beautiful minutes away from my life reading reviews that complain abt 1) The size of a product where the exact dimensions are as listed, and 2) The "quality" of an image that is The Exact Quality Of The Preview Image

[captainspiggbo]

[thetxtdevil]

This blog has become a thought dump page and you're going to deal with it

Ok ok ok,,, listennnn Fox Hybrid!Yeonjun

mdni - some smutty stuff, hybrids duh, biting duh, mating DUH

Its cliché but my mind is thinking, stray wild fox starved and lonely somehow how finds himself in the edges of a town, your town ofc. Just as he peeps through the trees he sees you on your daily walks and oh my does he think you're beautiful and *ahem* scrumptious. Fox!Yeonjun takes a few days to work up the courage to step out of the woods to finally stalk towards you, I mean, meet you.

You're walking and right when you were about to put your earbuds in you hear foot steps behind you. You turn around thinking someone is there but there is no one. You shake your head at your curiosity to turn back around to bump into the fox.

Dirty, is the only thing you can think of, you're frightened but god he’s dirty af. His orange hair is more of a brown dusty color, clothes ripped and not his size, but his eyes, his big brown yet predatory eyes have you melting. He needs a home. That night you bathed him and Yeonjun was basically purring to you.

And thats how you ended up with a fox hybrid in your house. Well, sorta, see foxes are independent, so Yeonjun liked to escape your cozy home and go back into the wild. Adaptable and very observant it wasn't hard to find his way back to you. He'd come every other day bringing back meat he hunted for, you two cook a meal together, and ofc another bath only from you bc he says he doesn't know how to do it himself :))

By the end of winter your seasonal depression is itching to go back outside for your walks. You hoped to see your handsome fox as it had been some time since you've seen jjun. You watch as the spots of snow melts into the green grass, the wind was brisk but bearable, crisp to breathe in. While walking you jolt, a tickle on your skin when you feel something brush against you. You look to your left to get a flash of a white tip of an orange tail, looking to your right you see Yeonjun, your handsome fox. He was very vocal today, talking about everything and anything, even singing a few times. He liked how you had evident heart eyes every time he sang.

You two end up back at your house ready to do your usual, give him a bath. But something felt different, usually jjun would be jumping off the walls for his special treatment but this time he was right next to you, holding your hand leading you to your bathtub. Bending down to turn the faucet on, you could sense the fox right behind you. Straightening your posture you're not surprised to feel his arms around your waist as he tends to be cuddly, but you are surprised by his abundant neck kisses and the hardon poking your back. One thing leads to another and now you're both naked and in the bathtub.

Yes, you knew all the times Yeonjun creeped on you before he introduced himself, you're not dumb, but you never felt unsafe with him. The fox is gorgeous, a flirt, a smooth talker, but he had a playful and caring nature that made you feel like he was another home at home. So his need for mating you felt natural, good even. Letting him leave a bunch of love bites all over your skin as you ride him. You two giggling at the waves of the bath water, but all giggles were put aside when you stroke his fluffy orange tail awakening his feral side, having him thrust up into you so much that the water floods the whole bathroom floor. Your hands in his hair then reaches up to his pointy ears holding them for dear life. Panting, moaning, overwhelmed by his force, yet you take time to admire Yeonjun's pretty features as they contort by the feeling of you.

And yeah so, after that you had to clean each other up again. Yeonjun becomes very protective after mating you. Never leaving your side, gets a little frustrated when your don't go to bed right away. Fox!Yeonjun just wants to stay up on guard as you get your beauty sleep. And foxes tend to have one mate for life, but you don't need to know that....

A nuisance,

TxT's Devil

taglist: @naoristerling, @inkigayocamman

[heartsforjh]

hi lovely, congrats on 100!! may i request luke hughes and acts of service, with him giving to reader? thank you so much, xoxo 🩷

ofc lovely !! this one is short and sweet, hope that’s okay 🫶 (also it wasn’t specified exactly WHICH acts of service so i just went with a brand new idea!)

main masterlist | 100 follower celly masterlist

You groan, sitting at your desk, and staring at this dumb study guide. Even with a big help like this, all hope feels lost. Chemistry is not your strong suit. But, of course, life. You have to do things you’d normally avoid like the plague… ahem… this final you’re taking tomorrow! 

Your boyfriend, Luke, quietly slips into the room, not wanting to disturb you. He’s headed towards the bed, before he notices you. Your head is in your hands and you look the farthest thing from okay. 

“Baby?” he says, a sad tone in his voice already. It’s like he can immediately feel all of your frustration. 

You pick your head up, looking over at him, unaware he was in the room to begin with. “Uh, yeah? What’s up?” 

“You okay, sweet girl?” he asks, coming over and wrapping his arms around your shoulders from behind. 

You shoot a fake smile up at him before looking back to what you’re working on. “I’m fine. Just… studying chem.” 

He groans at that last word. This guy knows everything. Including your beef with chemistry. “That sucks. I’m sorry. Need help?” 

“No,” you answer, not even thinking it through. “I’ve got it.” 

“You sure? You know, you’re not bothering me by getting some help? I think it’d be good for you to talk about it out loud. Might help you remember better,” he pushes, knowing how you can be. 

You honestly feel called out. He pretty much hit the nail on the head. “Um… well, I guess, if you want to, you can. You don’t have to, though.” 

“Of course I want to.  Are you kidding me? I’ll be right back,” he says, hurrying out of the room. 

You have no idea what he’s doing, but you decide to just get all of your topics for study set up. The both of you will be lost if you don’t. Shortly after you’re done, Luke comes back in. He’s got a crisp looking glass of ice water in his hands, and sets it–along with some medicine–in front of you. 

“For your head,” he nods. 

You’re a bit caught off guard. “How’d you know my head hurts?” 

“Baby, your head always hurts when you get stressed like this,” he laughs. 

He’s not wrong. He sits next to you on the extra chair that he had dragged in here when you first started seeing each other for moments exactly like this one. “So, what do we gotta do?” 

Luke stays and works with you, not complaining a single time. He’s patient, gentle, and helpful in the way he works through the questions with you. The two of you only wrap the study session up when you’re ready. 

“You didn’t have to do all that, Lu,” you tell him, packing your supplies back up. 

He packs your things as well, but quickly shuts your comment down. “I know. But, you deserve a little extra help right now. You’ve been working so hard.” 

You feel like you’re going to cry, suddenly getting a sense of validation. Somebody sees how much you’ve been trying finally. 

“And hey, you’re gonna kill this test tomorrow. All this that you’ve been doing? It’ll pay off. I promise you that,” he reassures, pulling you into a hug. 

As Luke places a kiss to the crown of your head then rests his own head on yours, you feel a lot more confident. To be completely honest, you had your doubts. You still do to a certain extent. But, if Luke can see your mistakes and still believe that you’ve got this, why shouldn’t you believe in yourself? 

tags: @beenucks @mainly-miracle @nic0-hischier @emsdevs @puckmedude @joesnumerouno @alex-wotton @r0wdymaize86 @macklin-celebrini-71 @randomcuboidshape @when-im-with-you @quillycrow @rainyvalentines @alwaysclassyeagle @star2fishmeg @wackomcgee @cheesecakeinahole @dancerbailey3 @hwalllllllelujah

join the taglist here! :)

[hrrtshape]

fifteen days and fourteen nights. . what i did for the 15 days i was there.

　　day 1 . . . ୨୧

it was a tuesday. woke up disoriented, like a victorian child revived with smelling salts. school was a blur, walls too bright, people too loud. my body knew before i did. the muscle memory of existing somewhere better. at some point, i found out i could drive. just got in a car and did it. nobody questioned it. like the laws of physics had rewritten themselves to accommodate my whims. later, i gave coryo a telepathic nosebleed, just because i could. watched him wipe the blood away, dazed and beautiful. later, walked around the city, let my feet carry me somewhere unfamiliar, found a bookshop, spent hours inside just running my hands over spines. that’s that.

　　day 2 . . . ୨୧

school still. had the best bagel of my life (which you all might know about). a religious experience. warm, toasty, slightly crisp but still soft enough to make me believe in god. i don’t even remember the flavour, i just remember the way it made me feel. a biblical betrayal of my cr bagels. they will never measure up. spent the rest of the day exploring soho, drifting in and out of boutiques, trying on sunglasses and pretending i was famous. ended up in a tiny coffee shop where i wrote bad poetry and people-watched like it was an olympic sport. walked home as the sun was setting, the city glowing, everything perfect.

　　day 3 . . . ୨୧

school, yes. moving through it like a ghost, touching nothing, absorbing everything. i felt untouchable, celestial (???). it’s just school, but it’s also an event. an ongoing theatre production where i am the lead, the writer, the sole investor. after school, went to a little diner with friends, ordered milkshakes and fries, felt like i was living in a john hughes movie. laughed until my stomach hurt. walked home, headphones in, soundtrack to my own life playing in my ears.

　　day 4 . . . ୨୧

school again. the theatre production drags on. long corridors, laughter that isn’t mine, the undercurrent of something electric. i start counting the days like a prisoner scratching tally marks into a cell wall. after school, went to the park, lay in the grass, let the sun paint freckles across my skin. read a book, let time stretch and soften around me. ran into someone i vaguely knew, ended up walking with them for hours, talking about nothing and everything. the world felt infinite.

　　day 5 . . . ୨୧

weekend. first on tried almost every article of clothing in my closet. me and lily-rose (not the actress, but also completely the same person!?!??!) go to central park. we sit on benches and watch dogs like we’re judging a competition that nobody else knows is happening. we get drunk and smoke, the city blurring at the edges, laughter sticky like honey. it’s so cutesy and intimate, i want to bottle it up and keep it forever. we wander aimlessly, end up in a vintage shop where we try on ridiculous coats and pretend we’re in a wes anderson film. later, we stumble into a tiny bar, order cocktails we can barely pronounce, let the night stretch long and sweet. they didn't ask for IDs.....which, like, great.

　　day 6 . . . ୨୧

weekend still. wake up late, the city already alive outside my window. go to a cafe with my dad, order something overpriced but beautiful. wander into an art gallery, pretend to understand modern art, make up stories about the paintings. later, meet up with friends (read: lily), go to a rooftop party, dance under the stars, feel weightless. everything is golden. weird accident happens there.......ahem....moving on.

　　day 7 . . . ୨୧

school. me and coryo (MY LOOOOOVEEEEE) giggle about our philosophy teacher. then me and my mum go to louis vuitton for absolutely no reason. sheer, reckless consumerism. we walk out with new handbags, just because. no birthday, no holiday, no excuse. pure indulgence. it’s euphoric. like a high without the comedown. when i think about it later, i start rioting internally because i want to be back in my dr so bad it physically aches. end the day in my room, staring at the ceiling, feeling the pull of something bigger.

　　day 8 . . . ୨୧

school. had the best pizza of my life. it made me emotional. it was so good i nearly wept into the crust. after school, went to a tiny record shop, spent hours flipping through vinyls, talking music with the guy behind the counter. walked home in the rain, felt cinematic, romantic, tragic. think i got a cold.

　　day 9 . . . ୨୧

school. moving through the motions, existing in the in-between. i think i’m starting to blend in. the idea scares me. went to a bookstore after school, got lost in the shelves, let the smell of old paper wrap around me like a hug. bought a book just because i liked the cover. then me and my mom went to le bernardin where we ordered four courses. gossiped. went home, lit a candle, read until my eyes burned...and then stalked coryo's instagram.

　　day 10 . . . ୨୧

school. had the best pasta of my life. like i was dining in heaven’s personal trattoria. later, watched coryo play basketball. he’s the team captain…..moan. he moved like poetry, sharp and precise. i died a little just watching. afterwards, he walks past me, sweaty and glowing, gives me this look that makes my stomach drop. the world tilts on its axis!!!!! AAAH.

　　day 11 . . . ୨୧

school. again. coryo put his arm over my shoulders. just casually, like it was nothing. like he didn’t just shake my entire existence to its core. i died. full obituary, funeral procession, dramatic weeping. spent the rest of the day floating.

　　day 12 . . . ୨୧

athens!!!!!! to celebrate my friend’s birthday. a friend from my cr, somehow scripted into my dr without me even thinking about it. like my subconscious smuggled them in past security. it feels surreal. like i brought a piece of cr with me without realising it. spent the day exploring ancient ruins, touching history, feeling small and infinite all at once. drank wine under the acropolis, the city glowing around us.

　　day 13 . . . ୨୧

birthday festivities continue. we get way too drunk, but in the poetic, filmic kind of way. like we’re characters in a movie about being young and reckless and impossibly beautiful. athens becomes ours for the night. we dance, we laugh, we exist so loudly it echoes.

　　day 14 . . . ୨୧

back in new york. good old new york city, where the skyline welcomes me like an old friend and the streets remember the shape of my footsteps. i love it here. i love it all. spend the day wandering, reacquainting myself with the city, like a lover returning home

　　day 15 . . . ୨୧

school. then, a full-blown bpd overstimulation attack. the kind that grabs you by the throat and shakes you until reality bends. my brain turns up the volume on everything, too loud, too bright, too much. the walls close in. i shift back. unceremoniously. like being kicked out of paradise for knowing too much.

i simply adore how i managed to do absolutely nothing in my DR. a real stroke of genius. i kept thinking, oh, there’s time, there’s time, and then in the same breath, this is the final act, the curtain call, the last pathetic hurrah. so what did i do???? i oscillated…no, i languished…between school, home, and the occasional social gathering, like a sims character with low free will. and to top it all off, it was september. meaning: cold. meaning: the air had that sharp, academic cruelty to it. meaning: i should have been having moments but instead, i was merely existing. tragic, really.

[fatcathappycat]

10 Ace Attorney fics that made me >LOL<

(part 1)

Reading AA fanfics on Ao3 has been my 'go to' choice for self-care this past year. The following are works that literally made me either snort, giggle, cackle or laugh out loud. As usual, these are in no particular order, because creating a sense of order in life is an illusion, and fics are to be enjoyed and celebrated, not ranked ;p

1. Vocal Exercises by SapphireWine

Rating: G Words: 4,756 Read time: 20 mins

Phoenix has a secret talent!! I laughed out loud so hard at this story's climax, I think I hurt myself (the best kind of hurt ;) ). And like so many of SapphireWine's fics, the story is so sweet (new love getting to know each other) and crisp (that snappy dialogue!) and savory (mmmmm tasty Narumitsu). I wrote in my bookmark that this fic is a sweet little ol’ onion if onions were like apples maybe, and covered in feelings.

~≧◡≦~

2. Eureka Moment by Kantayra

Rating: T Words: 673 Read time: 5 mins

"Miles discovers that, to his embarrassment, he is just as much of a total dork in bed as he is in everything else." Ahem, ngl, this is now firmly established in my head canon. Kantayra is one of my 'go to' Narumitsu Master authors. They specialize in short, sharp and hilarious ficlets, and I highly recommend all their work. This author will show up again in my fic recs, guaranteed.

~≧◡≦~

3. A Collective Groan by Kantayra

Rating: E Words: 6,321 Read time: 30 min

"Miles prided himself on his self-control, or at least he would if only Phoenix would stop being so incurably Phoenix." OOP! See! I was (w)right, here is another one by Kantayra. In addition to being a Narumitsu Master, they are a freaking Pun Master! OMG the PUNS!!!! And the fact these are Mile’s weakness! I am so dang happy I found this author and this fic in particular. I'm laughing even as I'm typing this, remembering some of them.

~≧◡≦~

4. The Crushing Weight of Inevitability by Kantayra

Rating: E Words: 6,321 Read time: 30 min

And sorry, I can't help but slip in yet another gem by Kantayra! (Honestly, I might have to do a dedicated post on them in the future). "How Edgeworth applies for a job: smugly, confidently, remorselessly, and with plenty of snark." In the form of a heavily cited resume, this is another absolutely fantastic ‘pun fic’ from this fabulous creator.

~≧◡≦~

5. Worse than we could have imagined (2 part series) by hi_its_ellis

Rating: T Words: 5,813 Read time: 25 min

Our favourite idiots being, well, idiots. By yes, another one of the authors I consider a 'Narumitsu Master.' In the author's notes, they say "I intended this to be Really Soft and it turned out Really Stupid" I happen to love soft and stupid so there we go... but it also has heart, so there we go twice.

~≧◡≦~

6. Texts & Turnabouts by YanagiKana

Rating: T Words: 40K? Read time: 3 hours (?)

I love chat fics. They are such a fun character vehicle. This one is missing a few graphics but still really, really enjoyable and I hope this talented author comes back and gives us more. :)

~≧◡≦~

7. It Would Feel So Good To Make You Mine by hi_its_ellis, lowbatteryhealth

Rating: T Words: 54,615 Read time: 4 hours

I am the 590th bookmark for this epic tale from two of the most diabolically minded pair of Narumitsu Masters in the fandom, celebrating the most epic game of Gay Chicken ™️ ❤️🐔💙 Read and enjoy, you won’t be disappointed! I would also file this one under 'required reading for Narumitsu fanon'

~≧◡≦~

8. A Beginner's Guide on How Not to Write Steel Samurai Fanfiction by chameleonwrites

Rating: T Words: 16,058 Read time: 65 mins

"Verity Baytum, a court stenographer, has a secret passion for writing Steel Samurai fanfiction based around the pairing Magisteel. When she finds an unlikely source of inspiration during her job, she can't help but watch court proceedings in search of further lines that fit her fics."

"Yaaay!!!! Sooo much fun, just like the description implies! Very Ao3 and discord community vibes. Verity is a really likeable and charismatic Original Character and I would love to read more about her! - If you are craving more, I suggest a chaser of Kantayra's 'Court(ing) Record' ;)

~≧◡≦~

9. Twelfth night by zombiekittiez for Gheyn

Rating: T Words: 5,156 Read time: 20 mins

“Phoenix hand feeds him a berry, sweet and sun-warmed. Also, slightly crunchy from the sandy soil. Resigned, Miles chews and swallows. Three days in and he is already eating dirt.” Time-loop au comedy hijinks by another one of my 'go to' authors.

~≧◡≦~

10. Certifiably Yours (2 part series) by Gheyn

Rating: T Words: 5,156 Read time: 20 mins

If you like fics that reference the language of flowers, or how meticulous Miles is, this fic is for you. And I'm finishing strong here, folks. This 2-part series is LOL perfect! Tears! TEARS!! In my eyes from laughing so hard. So sweet! So romantic! So silly! So good. Hiiiiighly recommended. ❤️💙

~≧◡≦~

And that's it for another week! I hope you enjoy these as much as I have. For part 2 of this series, see AA LOL Fic Recs Part 2.

Do you have a favourite AA LOL fic? Please share in the comments! And THANK YOU!!!!! to all the incredibly wonderful punny, funny awesome authors cited here. I luuuuurve you!

❤️ ♥‿♥ ❤️

[whois-miki]

—- a tour

Luke Castellan x Persephone!genderneutral!reader

warning - persassy, mention about danger in the forest, mentions of couples making out in the forest, percy : 🧍🏼, soft Luke

plot -

Luke gives a tour to Percy and they come across a certain someone.

or

The child or Persephone babysits her younger half sibling when two boys see her.

”and that’s the entrance to the forest, i’d advise you to stay away from it though. it gets pretty dangerous at night and in the day time couples just go there to hang out.” Luke said mumbling that last bit.

Percy shot him a look of confusion and disgust, and Luke responded by just saying ‘yeah i know.’

The two boys then come to the strawberry farm where they see you playing with your eight year old half sibling.

At the sight of you, Luke’s eyes softened and his lips curled into a slight smile.

Meanwhile, you were using your powers to make a small flower for the younger girl, your half sibling smiled a toothy smile and fidgeted with the flower you’d given her.

Feeling the boys’ presence, you turn around to see the two and smile at them and wave.

Luke’s hand uncurled slightly giving you a small wave and Percy just stood there confused.

“who’s that?” Percy asked the older boy. Luke quickly snapped out of his trance to hum in confusion. “i mean who are they?”

“[ name ] [ last name ],” Luke said snapping his gaze over to you again watching you weave together flowers to make a crown for the girl.

“so you and them, huh?”

“what do you mean?” he said looking now back at Percy

“i mean you and them, forest?” Percy looked at him in genuine curiosity

“what? gods no!” he said a little too quickly, his face was flustered as he thought of you and him dating.

“i mean, they’re pretty. and everything just gets better when they’re around. and everything just blooms in a flourishing way.” he muttered to the younger boy his mind still fixated on you.

“mhm.” Percy hummed and before he could say anything, a certain child of Persephone showed up.

“whatcha guys talking about?” They both looked up to see you holding the hand of an eight year old girl.

“gods [ nick name ], don’t scare us like that.” Luke muttered teasingly and you fake laughed before a smile tugged at your lips.

Luke was right, Percy could see that everything just got brighter around you. You gave off a welcoming and kind aura and it made it 10x better with your kind smile. the flowers the wilted from dehydration looked crisp and clean around you.

you smiled at Luke but only glanced at Percy for a split moment with a confused glint in your eyes.

the eight year old girl tugged at your sleeve to go to the Persephone Cabin.

as soon as you left, the crisp and clean flowers now wilted again and looked sad. Percy remembered that your mother was Persephone, goddess of the Spring but also the Underworld as in death.

Luke watched you run back to the Persephone Cabin hand and hand with the eight year old girl.

“uh huh sure you don’t like her.” Percy said with sarcasm and sass mixing in his voice

“oh shut it.” Luke said with a flustered face.

a/n

AAUUUGGHHH

ahem

anyways this is shit sorry for wasting your time also none of this makes sense and i will make a Clarisse Fic soon!! also thank you so much for all the likes and support!!

<3 miki!!

[yup-thats-me]

—interruptions • E. Ranpo

paring; bf!Ranpo x ADA!member!reader summary; empty office, candy, and your lover. but you just have to get embarrassed in front of your father-in-law and boss! warnings; none.

“Ranpo?”

There was no response from the legendary detective; perhaps he was more mesmerized by the glass marble in his hand from the soda can to spare any attention to his girlfriend.

“Babe!” Y/n tried again to no vain. She wanted to talk (read that as annoy) to someone but alas, everyone in the ADA was out for separate missions. Everyone except Dazai. Maybe he was trying out another weird way to commit suicide, but she couldn’t care less.

An idea came to her mind. Hurriedly, she rummaged through the snack bag she kept on her for her lover. Taking out a candy, she slid over to Ranpo on her chair, shaking the man gently. “Ranpo,” She whined.

At last, the man turned around, a bit annoyed. “What?”

“Want some?” She smirked as she waved the chocolate stick in front of his eyes. He nodded without speaking. But she had a trick up her sleeve.

She put the candy in between her teeth, “take it yourself,” she said with her mouth full.

Ranpo smiled, his eyes shining with a mischievous glint. “You asked for it,” and without a warning, he almost aggressively pressed his lips against hers, catching her off guard.

She groaned, relishing in the way his tongue slipped past her lips, rolling the candy on their tongues. Breathless, Ranpo grabbed Y/n by the waist making her sit on his lap instead. Smirking, his hands roamed all over her body, caressing all the curves he knew all too well.

“Ranpo…” she almost moaned, her head floating in ecstasy. Just as things were about to escalate, there was a crisp, loud and clear “ahem!”from near the door.

Unwillingly, the two parted but Ranpo already had a smirk on his lips.

“President!” Y/n jumped up at once, fixing her disheveled hair and dress in a haste. Ranpo on the other hand, was having the best time of his life, enjoying the way his girlfriend’s face turned beet red in mere seconds.

Fukuzawa nodded in acknowledgement, his eyes closed. He walked straight up to his office with as much as giving Ranpo a reprimanding look.

When the room became empty once again, Y/n punched Ranpo’s shoulder, hard.

“Ouch!”

“You could’ve at least give me a warning?! To save me some face?”

The man just smiled. “Why? Seems to me you were enjoying it as much as I was. Moreover,” he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I did not know he was coming.”

“Bullshit!” Before she could continue, Fukuzawa emerged once again, his head peeking out the ajar door. “Ranpo. Can you come here for a second?”

“Go. You deserve getting an earful,” Y/n smiled in victory.

do not steal, translate or copy my work on any other site. all belong to yup-thats-me™️ on tumblr

[butmakeitgayblog]

cruel intentions anon here 🥹 can u share something with us? like a small snippet or a scene you've scraped or idk just some ideas? I've read the fic twice but I fear I'm fr addicted to them 😭

Well I'll admit I don't have too much since I've started focusing on only one project at a time, but I have a bit of a oneshot that goes with this pic

Set a few weeks after the, ahem, conclusion of The Bet. Nothing smutty posted here unfortunately, but it will be. Oh it will be smutty. Clarke does not leave Lexa looking like that for no reason 😌

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're whistling.

Honest to God, actually whistling. 

A jaunty little tune devoid of melody and structure. Nothing more than a slow sling of notes that doesn't really have any direction in particular, because the point isn't the song itself. 

It's the mood.

And that mood is… happy.

So, so fucking happy. 

Terrifyingly, unmitigatedly, euphorically fucking happy.

It's weird and you hate it, and it's embarrassing to even think about, but you wouldn't trade this feeling for anything. 

And really, who could blame you. Not when life has never been this good. All rose colored glasses and kiss-filled memories that dance like bubbly champagne around the empty space in your head.

You genuinely don't think anyone has ever been as blissful in the existence of the world as you are right now when the doors of the elevator slide open, and you swagger your exceptional ass into your penthouse's bottom floor. 

You drop your purse on the bench and toss your keys on the countertop, praying it leaves a scratch for your stepmother to have a stroke over. Just for the hell of it. You undo the clip and feel your hair untwist in tousled ringlets draped sensually across your shoulders. 

You whistle a few more notes, and contemplate grabbing something to eat, before deciding there's nothing else in the world that you need.

Because you're in love. 

And it's that love that keeps you smiling as you walk down the hall, adding an extra click in your steps just to hear the crispness reverberate off the walls you don't pay for. It's that same love that makes your heart race as you slam the antique handles down and throw open the parlor doors with a flourish, lightheaded and so goddamn euphoric you would fucking hate the chipperness for them if it were anyone else.

It's that love that makes you so stupid that you don't even bother to look around before your eyes land on her. Beautiful and formidable as she stands behind the bar. Her lips purse at the shotgun bang of the doors, but she doesn't even jump, and her control next to your chaos makes you love her even more.

“Miss me?” you burst in with a deep chested purr.

Because you're in love and you love her and you absolutely want her to know it.

You just… don't know how to fucking say it.

Not yet.

Grey-green eyes widen like a warning shot, darting from you to the corner of the room and right back again, so quickly you would've missed it if you hadn't been staring quite so hard.

“Not particularly, no,” she snips in that contemptuous drawl of hers without missing a beat, and pops the cork back on a bottle of gin that costs more than your semester's tuition. 

You, belatedly, follow her eyes to the corner of the room and see your housemaid diligently running a duster across the frame of your great-grandfather's portrait. 

Fuck.

Your heart drops right down to your asshole, but you send up a silent prayer of thanks because at least you hadn't tacked on the pet name ‘lover’ like you'd been using so much as of late. 

That's been the closest you could get.

But Sherri doesn't seem to have heard you. Or at least she doesn't pay you any mind, not having paused from her work for even a fraction of a second at your grand entrance and social faux pas.

You stand frozen, staring at Lexa still working her magic behind the bar, adding a splash of something red to a drink before taking a sip and grimacing at its taste.

She smacks her lips and shakes her head and sets the drink back down like it's personally offended her. 

You frown at the whole display because you know she's not even a gin girl.

“Sherri,” she calls in that sweet little voice she reserves for the people she actually cares if they like her. 

“Yes, Miss Lexa,” your faithful maid answers, immediately stopping to look over.

Huh.

Apparently her hearing is just fine.

Delicate fingers discreetly land on your stomach as she passes, trailing down to your hips and snagging the bottom hem of your sweater, yanking just so to send you stumbling several feet away from the door and out of the way.

“You should take the evening off,” Lexa says once she's left you off-balance in her wake. “Go enjoy life for a change.”

“Oh, I don't think—” Sherry starts but cuts off at the soft tisk from Lexa's lips. 

“No. No. Now, there is simply nothing to think about, because that was not a suggestion, my chérie.”

You smile at the lilt of her teasing. Always in awe, because for the life of you, you'll never understand how she manages to be such a condescending bitch while still sounding so innocent. So warm and pleasant. 

And to be fair, it really hadn't been a suggestion. 

You stand forgotten in the late afternoon shadows and watch as she closes in on your maid like a huntress. All sculpted calves and four inch heels. Hands tucked daintily behind her back.

“But your mother—”

“Will never know,” Lexa whispers, bringing one long, sexy finger up to press against the pout of her smile. “I can keep a secret if you can…”

Sherri sighs in her defeat and shakes her head with the fondness of an exasperated mother, and you wonder if there's anyone this girl can't charm off their feet.

Lexa preens.

“Good. Now, a little birdy told me it was your birthday this weekend.” She pauses just long enough for your maid to nod in surprise. “And, well… I guess I just couldn't help myself.”

You cross your arms and make yourself comfy by settling a shoulder against the wall. More than thrilled to just sit back and take in the show as this fucking magician pulls out a bracelet from goddamn nowhere. 

She hushes the woman's flustered coughs, ignores hands slipping through greying red hair and automatic dismissals of, “no, Miss Lexa, this is—I couldn't possibly.” She soothes it all with honeyed words of reliability and sacrifice and devotion to our comfort, all while clasping the understated but opulent chain to an overworked wrist, connected to a woman who doesn't seem to quite know what to do with herself. Nimble fingers twist and turn the apparently well-thought-out gift so it lays perfectly in place, admiring her own exquisite taste in jewelry more than anything, you already know.

You wonder when the hell she got so thoughtful. 

She ushers the woman out with a firm, guiding hand to her back, mouth tipped in a demure smile as she assures her, this is exactly what she wants. 

The parlor doors close much more gently than when you'd entered through them, and she spins gracefully on her heel, looking so fucking pleased with herself.

You hold her eyes. 

Uncross your arms.

And slowly, loudly, begin to clap.

“Well aren't you made of sugar and spice and everything nice, Miss Lexa.”

She pinches the sides of her skirt and fans them out, dipping into a mere suggestion of a curtsey.

You move as though to reach for her because it's been six hours too long since you've had your hands on that body, but her pleasantries drop away as she sends you a scowl and slips just out of reach. 

“Next time, have a touch more decorum when entering a room,” she sighs over the authoritative clack-clack of her heels. “I had just gotten that bracelet. Didn't even have a chance to wear it out yet.”

Ah.

Now that makes more sense.

Fuck, you love how good she is at thinking on her feet.

“No one told you to kiss her ass with jewelry, for fucks sake,” you mutter despite the efficacy of her brilliance because really, she always had to be so damn extra about everything. 

“It was all I had, and thanks to someone,” she says with a pointed edge, “I didn't exactly have time to figure out another distraction. And since I'm fairly certain she at least already knows we're sleeping together, I'd much rather stay in her good graces. I can handle losing a bracelet in exchange for…”

She trails off and vaguely gestures to the air between you. 

The thought alone of someone else knowing makes you want to vomit. 

You cross your arms tighter. 

“Why do you think that she knows?”

That evil fucking brow of her flits up when she looks at you like you're an idiot.

“Because you're not quiet, and she's not stupid, and half of Greenwich knows what you sound like when you come.”

You grit your teeth and wonder if it's worth reminding her who came on your fingers while loudly calling your name last night, but when she struts her perfectly bubble shaped ass back over to the bar, you ultimately decide that, no, it is in fact not worth it.

Apparently done with the minor complication of your eagerness and the conversion as a whole, she picks up the drink you'd all but forgotten and holds it out at arm's length, letting it dangle from the mere tips of her elegant fingers. 

“For you, my darling.”

You still haven't figured out exactly what she's playing at when she calls you that, because you know she is never sweet for nothing. You know there has to be a barb in there somewhere. Some sort of slight on your character or something. She shouldn't just call you ‘darling’ for no reason… But for the life of you, when she looks at you like this - like you're the only thing that matters in her broad and expansive world - you can't figure what it could possibly be.

“Gin and… cherries?” you ask when you take the glass and give a tiny sniff of the drink. 

She smiles indulgently and twists away to retake her place behind the bar, and suddenly her grimace from her sip before makes sense.

She hates sweet drinks.

Well.

Unless she's kissing the taste of them from your lips. 

“So is this what we're doing now?” You examine your drink closer. It doesn't look poisoned anyway. “It's this what we've become?”

She hums in question as she picks up a second shaker and stirs the contents. You watch her grab a martini glass and begin to pour her own crystal clear drink and, yes, that's much more her style.

You truly are fucking a master mixologist. Which you suppose is bound to happen considering she's been making drinks for one person or another since the tender age of thirteen…

“My kingdom for some context, darling,” she murmurs when you're too enamored to answer, popping an olive into her glass and taking a healthy sized pull, moaning at the taste.

You down half your bramble in one go and traipse yourself around the back of the bar.

Setting the drink down at her side, you put your empty hands to much better use. Drift your fingers across the soft dip of her back and trace her hips, holding her steady as you press in and drape yourself along the length of her.

“Acting like a vintage married couple,” you clarify in a whisper. You reach up and pull her hair aside to expose the delicious expanse of her neck, and you wonder in what lifetime you actually managed to do something good enough to deserve the way she tips her head to the side to give you more access. 

You mouth slow, wet kisses along the sensitive spot just behind her ear as she sighs, “Is that what this is?”

“You tell me, pretty girl.” You smile against her skin when she shudders at the name. “Waiting for me to come home to you. Having a drink ready. Did you make me a special little dinner to eat as well?”

And you're still getting used to this.

This thing with her you've been playing at for the last couple of weeks. This truce or whatever it is that leaves you so off balance you never know which end is up.

Because you've never had something like this. 

Because where you expect a scoff and a rebuff of your entire charade, she only presses harder into you with a sensual groan. Where you expect her to fling your hands away and shove you off of her entirely as she would have before, she merely sets down her glass, and kisses your lips, and covers your hands with her own.

"Not in your wildest dreams, my love," she whispers with an adoring grin, and kisses you deeper again.

[just-some-trans-nobody]

December Christmas Monster stories

17.) Dragon x Knight

Nammot the male dragon falls for a brave male Knight and one thing leads to another. Hope ya'll enjoy, this was my first time writing dragon smut.

Warning: NSFW, grinding, cum, person covered in cum, dry cumming, cock humping, thigh fucking, no penetration sex, gay sex, sex with a dragon, large tounge licking human body, threats of death, meantions of eating humans, possessive dragon, let me know if I forgot any warnings.

Minors Don't Interact!!! You will be blocked immediately.

Word count 2751

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Snow fell around the caves entrance slowly blocking the way if not for Nammot’s fiery hot breath melting it all away each time he let out a heavy sigh. Not many knights would make the treacherous path up the steep hill let alone do it in the snow leaving Nammot rather bored waiting for anything of interest to happen. He wanted a knight to fight, to eat up in one bite and play with his shiny armor adding it to his collection. That is what he told himself, he was waiting for a knight yes but not just any knight. He was waiting for a knight who had called himself Percevale. 

Nammot was planning on eating him the first time they had met but instead of drawing his sword when he first laid eyes on the dragon he had greeted him and had even asked for his name. No knight had ever done that to him during his many years of terrorizing the villages and kingdom. It made Nommot pause his fire breath and think for a moment about it, he hadn’t said his own name in so long he had almost forgotten it completely. “Nammot you may call me but not for long little shiny one for you sure will be dead soon.” He had growled out, smoke pouring from his nostrils as he readied himself to hurl his fiery breath at him. “Nammot? A nice name. Does it mean anything?” The knight had asked, confusing him and once more causing him to stop the fire building up in his throat. “Pardon?” Nammot asked confused by the question. “Well my name means to pierce the veil, whatever that means. Names have meaning to it, what our parents hope us to do someday. Or for those who choose their own name it means the path they intend to take.” Percivale explained looking up at the dragon. “Seems your parents wanted you to see the dead.” He snorted sitting down on his hind legs, an action reminding Percivale of how a dog sits. “Heh my parents must have wanted me to be a grave keeper rather than a knight then.” Nammot was absolutely baffled hearing a knight actually laugh and make what seemed to be a joke to him. It was always screams or threats of death upon the king's orders. What kind of knight was he to not attack him but to be kind to him? It surely must have been a trap one he will not fall for. Standing back up he snarled as he for a third time readied his fire breath wanting to kill the knight for daring to make a fool of him thinking he could tick him. Seeing Pericivale reach for something he acquired his shoulder ready for the knight to draw his sword all the more ready to burn him to a crisp but all movements froze when the knight pulled out a small dragon carved from wood. “I made this for you. You always take things so I guessed maybe no one has given you anything before.” He explained holding the wooden dragon up for Nammot to see better and for a third time he cooled the fire in his throat and leaned in close to look at the small dragon held in Percival's gauntlet. His pupils dilated for a movement as he stared at his gift before turning back into slits as he leaned back. “Ahem your offering will suffice, I shall not kill you this time but if you come again I shall not be as kind.” Nammot sneered as he held out his large scaled paw for Pericivale to drop  the wooden item into.

The wooden dragon now sits on top of his hoard, his prized possession though he never admits it. Percivale came back again and again, each time with a gift for Nammot, each time Nammot said he would surely kill him the next time they met but never followed up with his threat. Between their meetings the longer Nammot waited the grumpier he got, he didn’t like waiting for his devoted follower as he liked to call him. Percivale liked to call him his friend, though Nammot would scoff at the words but never correct him about it. 

As the seasons changed to winter Nammot now waited for Percivale to visit him, growing more and more impatient. “This time I really will kill him if the cold doesn't do it before he gets here.” The moment Nammot had muttered those words he had regretted it. What if Percivale had really died and he just didn’t know him. The thought of losing his only friend struck his heart like a piercing arrow. This feeling only grew worse as the hours turned to days, still Percivale didn’t show. Nammot wallowed in his grief thinking his little knight was dead. That is until one day as Nammot was sprawled out letting out soft whimpers the sound of clanking footsteps froze him in his tracks. “Percivale?” He called sitting up staring at the entrance of the cave with baited breath but as the figure drew closer and made no sound Nammot grew worried it wasn’t him and some other knight had braved the mountain in the winter in hopes to catch the dragon off guard. Standing up Nammot readied his fire breath growling as his eyes narrowed.“Ah did the day finally come when you surely would kill me?” a voice called up, almost bringing Nammot to his knees. “Oh my knight!” He wailed out before clearing his throat trying to compose himself. “I mean oh it’s you… thought you were some other foolish knight here for me to feed upon.” Nammot said, puffing his chest out as he looked away. Percivale knew Nammot was embarrassed, he could read that dragon better than Nammot would have liked him to be able. “Ah yes of course, you must be starving with so few knights to eat. They’re all trying to avoid being out in the cold.” Percivale said with a shiver of his own. Smiling under his helmet he walked over to Nammot, not afraid of the dragon in the slightest and plopped down next to him. “What did you bring me this time, my devoted follower?” Nammot asked leaning his head in closer, he knew nothing of personal space and was almost pressing his large head against Percivales armored body. “Food.” He stated looking through the bag he had brought. “Dried meat, it lasts longer. Though with your size I would say this is more of a snack than a few days' meals as it would be for me.” Percivale laughed, taking out the large pouch of meats. Nammot opened his mouth in a silent demand for the knight to feed him. A demand Percivale followed with no second thought to it, just opening the bag and dumping the contents into the dragon's mouth. “Mind if I take my armor off? I worked up a sweat in the cold and now all my clothes are wet from it. It’s very unpleasant.” He started the long process of taking off all his armor, one Nammot nodded his head not caring at all. Dragons were always naked. Why would he care if a human was too? 

He found himself watching Pericivale undressing in the corner of his eye, he was trying to act like he didn’t care in the slightest but this had been the first time he had seen the knight take anything off past his helmet and Nammot was a curious dragon. Humans had such an interesting body. They were no dragon of course, such puny things but Nammot found himself admiring Percivales body. Turning his head to look at him better Nammot watched Percivale spread out his cold wet clothes onto the stones in the cave in hopes the dragons heat would dry them. He was unaware of the glowing eyes scanning each scar and blemish on his body as he moved around naked in the cave. 

A gush of cold winter air blew in from the cave's entrance causing Percivale to shiver as it bit at his exposed skin. That wouldn’t do, Nammot couldn’t have his devoted follower suffering from the cold. Letting out a displeased snort, Nammot swept his tail around Percivale pulling him in closer to his much larger body. He pretended he didn’t see the wide grin on Percivales face as he sat down leaning against Nammots stomach. It felt strange to him to have someone touching his weaker under belly. It was a great sign of trust for a dragon to show their underbellies let alone let someone be pressed against it but he had that trust for his little human. The two stayed like that for a few hours until Percivale drifted off to sleep curled up against Nammot. He watched the sleeping knight admiring eyes, how does a human like him feel so comfortable sleeping so close to a dragon? “Silly little human.” Nammot whispered, gently nuzzling his face against Perivicales, laying his head down, closing his eyes drifting off into a slumber of his own.

It was a peaceful rest until the sounds of quiet wimpers woke Nammot up. Lifting his head up he looked to Percivale with worry thinking he had hurt him by mistake in his sleep, gotten to careless and shifted his weight onto him crushing him, or maybe nicked him with one of his talons. Seeing Percivale was still in one piece with no crushed bones Nammot tilted his head and leaned him pressing his nose against his trembling form. Maybe he was cold, was that it? Nammot blew a small amount of his breath onto him hoping to warm his little devoted human. It didn’t stop the shivering or the whimpering much to his dismay. Frowning he gently nuzzled his nose against him. Sure enough that stopped the sounds that were causing Nammot distress. Sighing he relaxed and nuzzled him again as he slowly closed his eyes drifting back to sleep. His hot breath caressing Percivales body with exhale. After a while the hot careesses drew too much for Percivale, soft moans left his lips as his dreams turned from the earlier nightmares to sinful thoughts of desire. Nammot slipped into a lighter sleep state hearing the moans, he mistook them for the whimpers from earlier so to comfort his little human he nuzzled him again adding fuel to Percivales burning loins. He moaned much louder at that, waking the both of them almost immediately. Pulling back with wide eyes Percivale looked away, his face turning a bright shade of red as he did his best to hide his lower half. Nammot looked at him blinking a few times as the gears in his head started to turn, still a little slow about it until he finally took in the scent of his arousal. “Oh.” He said with a dry throat only able to let out the one word. “How indecent of you.” Nammot thought his teasing was clear but he froze when he noticed Percivales eyes had started to water at his words. His heart sank at the sight. Letting out a soft rumble Nammot pressed his nose to him nuzzling him once more. “I didn’t mean it like that silly little thing.” He hummed, sending vibrations throughout Percivales body. His tongue slithered out giving Percivale what was meant to be a comforting lick across his body, Percivale didn’t take it that way and moaned feeling the hot muscle drag up his body from stomach up to his chest coating him in drool. It wasn’t originally what Nammot was going for but it was an outcome he didn’t mind. His pretty little human made such lovely sounds. Wanting to draw out more he licked him again causing Percivale to gasp and writhe against the feeling. “What are you doing? Nammot stop it.” Percivale whined as his back arched. “If you wish it.” Nammot whispered, pulling back, he watched him with greedy eyes wanting to taste more of his flesh. Looking up at Nammot Percivale let out a soft whimper as he held eye contact with the dragon.“Do it again?” He whispered embarrassed by his words by controlled by his lust. Nammot smirked as he leaned back in pushing the knight's legs wide open with his nose as he stuck his tongue back up licking his crotch up to his neck causing Percivale to let out several gasps and whiny moans. The dragon let out a moan of his own, tasting the sweat on Percivales body. His skin tastes like sweet nectar and Nammot was almost tempted to take a bite but reframed himself from doing so. Letting out a moan Percivale pushed his hips up against Nammots tongue begging for more from the dragon. Leaning back Percivale noticed a shape to his side that wasn’t there before. Turning his head to get a better look his eyes widened seeing the dragons unsheathed cock. “By the gods I think that might be bigger than I am.” Percivale said in both shock and awe. 

“Do you like it?” The dragon asked with a cocky tone, the smell coming from Percivale already gave him his answer. Rolling onto his back Nammot stretched out showing off his cock. “I assume you know what to do.” He said as if it was obvious and Percivale should be able to read his mind. “What? No, no I don’t know what to do. I’ve never fucked a dragon before!” Percivale exclaimed geturing to Nammot and his cock causing the dragon to frown. He was hoping Percivale knew what to do, he hadn’t fucked a human before, he hadn’t the fantiest idea on how this could work. “Climb on top of me and grind against me, it’s why I was licking you duh.” Nammot stated as if it was a fact and not him pulling something out of thin air. Percivale let out a soft oh as he stared at the dragon's cock. Gulping he climbed up his hip and straddled Nammots monstrous cock the best he could. It was burning hot, almost too hot for Percivale but the moment his cock touched Nammots he let out a long moan. Holding onto the ridges of Nammots cock for support he started to move back and forth rubbing his thighs and cock against him to simulate them both at the same time. Percivale was worried at first he wasn’t doing a good enough job as he stared at the unmoving dragon. Nammot wasn’t making a single sound, not even blinking. Just breathing heavily as he watched him with unsatiated hunger. Moving faster Percivale let out a louder moan as his back arched. Still Nammot made not a single sound, he dared not to as he didn’t want to miss a single lewd sound Percivale made pleasuring himself on his burning cock. The sounds and sight of Percivale would be his most cherished treasure for all times, he knew that already. Feeling Percivale grow slower Nammot growled and grasped his waist in his clawed hand holding him as he rutted his hips against him taking control of the situation. “Keep those pretty legs wrapped around me.” He ordered letting out a moan. Percivale gladly followed orders and squeezed his legs against the dragon's cock. Nammot wasn’t sure how long this went on. By the time he had his fill of orgasms both his stomach and Percivale was covered in his sticky cum. Percivale was dazed and panting, his last three orgasms he had been cumming dry, completely spent and having lost track of them long ago. Letting out an over-stimulated whine Percivale looked to Nammot with tear soaked eyes, neither had realized he had been crying from the amount of pleasure he had been feeling. “I don’t have anything left in me.” He said almost pleading to Nammot who nodded his head in agreement. “Nor I.” The dragon said, lifting the knight up, setting him onto his chest. Percivale let out a soft whine but snuggled into him almost immediately. “Wouldn’t mind if this became a regular thing when I visit you.” He said letting out a winded laugh drawing a rumbling laugh from Nammot. “If this becomes a regular thing I don’t think I would let you out of my cave.” Having Percivale live there sounded rather good in that moment, Percivale silently agreed with it too, he could get used to living like this.

[shiyorin]

#When you play dumb or your primarchs are just *ahem* horny :v

#I don't know what I wrote. I just do as requested :v

#Roll the dice and it said this time's menu is: Horus Lupercal and Roboute Guilliman.

#This is request from my dearest heretic anon.

#Primarchs x Reader, Reader is Imperial Agent. Malcador is proud of you (is he?)

#A little NSFW.

Horus Lupercal

You sighed listlessly as you wandered the ship, seeking diversion in your boredom. A familiar presence drew you eye, and you spied Horus upon a balcony overlooking the training cages below.

The training cages were alive with activity as Horus observed his Astartes sharpening their skills in mock combat. Though focused on their form, his thoughts drifted elsewhere, preparations for the coming Crusade weighed heavy. He gazed down from the viewing platform, assessing their progress, when soft footsteps alerted him to another's presence.

Horus appeared lost in thought, no doubt pondering weighty matters of strategy and conquest. You crept stealthily across the chamber, the feet making nary a sound upon the plush rugs. Coming up behind the Warmaster unnoticed was no mean feat, but your skills remained as sharp as the blade at your hip.

Finally within reach, you drew a deep breath and exhaled softly upon Horus's neck. A sudden warmth ghosted his ear, followed by a sultry whisper caressed his ear. "Boo..."

He whirled with a start to find your smiling face mere inches from his own, eyes dancing with mischief. Before you could retreat, Horus flashed into action, seizing your arm in an unbreakable grip.

With a grunt he hoisted your form against his chest, pinning your effortlessly as your legs kicked in vain. "Little one." he chuckled, though tension still lingered at the corners of his eyes. "One of these days you will be the death of mine, I fear."

Your eyes dancing with mirth. You laughed breathlessly. "You are no fun, my Warmaster."

"It seems you don't consider me worthy of respect, little one," he sighed, effortlessly maintaining your struggling form. "Sneaking up on your Warmaster, bold, but foolish."

You squirmed halfheartedly, delighting in the feel of his powerful physique caging you in. "And what would the great Warmaster do to earn it, I wonder?"

A gleam entered his eyes, dark promise in every contour of his sculpted features. "Oh, I can think of a few...persuasive methods."

Below, the Astartes fought on, oblivious to the true battle raging within their midst. Horus took his captive agent and you were limp and sated in his arms, marking you thoroughly as his. Only then did he release your, satisfied your pride had been tamed.

Horus smiled down at the dazed your in his arms. "Convinced, my dear?" He purred, nuzzling your satiated cheek. You could only sigh dreamily in reply. It seemed doubts of his prowess were well and truly laid to rest...

Roboute Guilliman

Guilliman reclined upon crisp sheets, body aching from battles past. His scowls only deepened your frown, but still you droned on, casualty reports, supply requisitions, missives from a thousand worlds.

"Do you hear me, my lord?" you pressed, quill scratching relentlessly. He sighed, weary unto his soul.

"Do you think I want to hear what you have to say, agent? I am wounded and wish only silence." His tone brooked no argument, yet still you persisted like the plague.

"You are the Primarch," you said, eyes aglow with righteous fervor. "You must overcome such things for the billions of people of the Imperium. Their hopes and dreams rest upon your shoulders."

Guilliman scrubbed a hand down his face. "I am Primarch, not invincible. Must I sacrifice even my healing for duty's never-ending demands?"

Your look softened, but still you would not yield. "That is not something you can decide, my lord. As were mine." 

The Primarch knew well you spoke truth, bitter though it was. With a grunt he waved your on, closing his eyes against the rising tide of reports.

Guilliman continued to sigh, weariness seeping into his bones. Your report droned on, an endless litany of numbers and names. His mind drifted as you spoke, seeking escape however brief. Your voice took on a new texture in his imagination, breathy sighs and wanton gasps replacing dour droning.

One hand tangled in your locks, tugging your mouth to his in a hungry, open-mouthed kiss. The other grasped that ass, fingers dimpling soft flesh as he thrust up to meet each bounce with abandon as reports fluttered forgotten to the floor. And you will chant his name like a prayer, a litany more rousing than any duty....

By the Throne, was he some green boy still in need of release? Shame warred with lingering heat, desire too long denied by duty's demands. He yearn for soft curves yielding beneath his palms, the taste of your skin, your cries of rapture as he took what was his by right.

You'd whimper and writhe, begging wordlessly for what they both craved. At the first penetration your walls would clutch him like a vice, pulling him deeper, deeper into scalding flesh made solely for his pleasure. He'd pound into your without mercy, relishing each gasp and moan, each slap of flesh on flesh. Only when he'd spent himself fully within your willing sheath would he grant surcease, collapsing in a sweat-soaked tangle of limbs.

By the Throne, how he longed to make that vision reality...

Guilliman blinked, flushing at the path his mind had wandered. But you remained oblivious, quill scratching as reports spilled forth. Little did you know the effect you had, and the fantasies your voice inspired in your lord's lonely chamber...

[box-of-roses]

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅. Tangled Up .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

♡ Synopsis: There’s a string connecting you to your soulmate that only you two can see; What happens when you see your string is tangled up and Kenma helps you untangle it.

♡ Characters: Kenma, Y/N, Lev, Alice (your bestie)

♡ Warnings: A little angsty

♡ Words: 2k

Pt. 2 | Pt. 3 | Series Masterlist

Dancing. Some people dance for enjoyment. Others dance for money, some dance around their feelings. Perhaps that’s why your string was so tangled. The string delicately tied to your finger twisted and turned like most did. The difference, at least from the people you had asked, however, was that yours had knots. Pieces rolled over themselves and turned into more and more bows as the years went on. You wished your parents could see your string. Just to know if the bows had always been there. To know if there was something wrong with you.

The years went by and knots tangled not only on the string but in your stomach as well. Fear of what people would think of you, you refused to tell anyone. Anyone except for your dearest friend that is. You don’t know his name and he doesn’t know yours. That didn;t mean that he wasn’t your best friend though. It was better that way. It was better to not know each other’s identities. The things you talked about were too private. Much too private to find out it was someone you knew. You simply knew him as ‘Applepi’ ,you would call him Pi for short though. And he would call you Lucky. It was a funny username because you felt anything but lucky. The string tied around your finger reminding you of just how unlucky you seemed. Sometimes if you needed cheering up you would be his Star. Luckystar.

Your friends teased you mercilessly, they didn’t know the complexities of your relationship but they knew something was going on. The way your eyes would light up when that ever so familiar name would brighten your screen. The way you didn’t hear them talking to you when he talked to you. The way that you would stop everything to respond to him. They kept telling you that you loved him. That couldn’t be right though. Love? How could you love someone you haven’t met yet? How could you love someone you don’t even know the name of? They tried to get you to just tell the poor boy your name. That you loved him. That would ruin everything though, the carefully built level of trust you put into each other. Only because you didn’t have to worry about the repercussions of your conversations. Telling each other your identities could ruin everything you wanted to protect.

The stars are where you would look to wish every night. Wish that your string wasn’t so tangled, that it could loop like everyone else’s. Flow freely instead of wind in your head like a boa constrictor and make it hard to think. Some days you even wished there were scissors sharp enough to cut the damned thing. Your thoughts were interrupted by the vibrations of your phone against your leg.

Applepi

Hey

Luckystar

Hey. I’m in the middle of class Pi 🙄

Applepi

So you don’t want to talk to me?

Cool.

I was going to give you the tea from the day but whatever

Luckystar

Like you’ll resist the temptation to tell me for long

Read

You roll your eyes and place your phone back in your pocket. He usually breaks pretty quick. You know that all he does is play on his phone or gaming system in class. Unlike his friends. You don’t know much about them, by design. Can’t have you two figuring out who the other is just yet now can we? Ahem- ignore that.

The crisp air of the classroom made your hair stand up and your teeth chatter. Your desk happened to be right next to the window. The faulty window. Why they never bothered to fix it you didn’t know. You had forgotten your jacket unfortunately. Truly what a sad experience. You were rushing this morning and barely made it out with your lunch. A buzz against your leg. You knew better though. It would be a few more minutes before he gave in.

Certainly enough time to complete the paper in front of you. You smiled at the silly notion. Timing yourself to get done in order to get just the right text from him? Utterly hilarious. Another buzz. And two more questions to get done. Another. One more to go. And you finished and turned it in just in time to get the next message as you sat down.

Applepi

Hi

Delivered

Applepi

I know what you’re doing

Delivered

Applepi

I won’t fall for it

Delivered

Applepi

Fine 🙄

So this guy I play w/ walked into the cafeteria and went to go get a milk right?

So anyway. He grabs the milk and goes to open it and it just squirts out

Completely ruins his clothes 💀

Luckystar

💀

You’re right that was hilarious

Applepi

Oh

So now you reply

Luckystar

Duh

My plan worked

Like it always does

Applepi

Next time it won’t

Luckystar

Wanna bet?

Applepi

And what exactly would you be betting?

Luckystar

A name.

Applepi

Huh?

Luckystar

We’ve been friends for years

You know things about me not even my closest irl friend knows

I think it’s about time we got each other’s names

Not without a little wager though. Simply for my own selfish gain of victory

Applepi

Fine

I won’t fall for it or you get my name. If I don’t I get yours. Fair?

Luckystar

Glad we could come to this agreement

Maybe we’ll meet each other

Applepi

Keep dreaming

Luckystar

Oh I will

Don’t worry 😉

Applepi

Ew.

Literally never do that again

Goodbye Lucky

Luckystar

Parting is such sweet sorrow </3

Till I can glance upon your name again Pi

And now it was finally your turn for lunch. The red string on your pinky is still bowed and knotted. With a sigh you put your hand back out of your sight. Your lunch table is littered with your friends and people you don’t know. Your friends notice you and wave you over.

“Hey Y/N! You haven’t met our new friends yet.”

“Nope. Sure haven’t.”

“Come on now, don’t look so down. You can’t spend all day everyday texting with that boy of yours.” Your face grows hot as you glare at your friends.

“Not ‘my boy’ he’s just a friend.”

“Maybe he won’t be forever.” You make fake gagging noises.

“Ew.” You all smile. Then you look around at the two new additions to the table. “Y/N, nice to meet you.” You hold your hand up to your mouth like you’re sharing a secret. “Hopefully these weirdos didn’t kidnap you and trap you here. Blink twice if you need help.”

“Rude! They came willingly.” Your friend rolls their eyes. “This is Haiba Lev and R/N. Lev is on the volleyball team. I know we haven’t dragged you to a game yet but maybe one day.”

“Well! Now that Y/N knows me they’ll have to come to a couple.”

“Fine.” You sigh.

“Why are you so against it?” Your friend Alice asks.

“I just don’t like sports.”

“Liar, I know you watch figure skating during the Olympics. You literally made your poor mother pay for streaming so you could watch it.”

“Yeah but that’s like entertaining.” Your phone buzzes.

Applepi

How’s lunch?

Luckystar

Shouldn’t you be in class right now?

Applepi

And?

Your point? I don’t see it

You smile at your phone as you set your fork down. Your friends sigh.

“They always get like that, the minute their mysterious boy texts them they’re gone. They’re not going to reply because they’re off in their own little world.” Alice explains to Lev and R/N.

“One of my friends is like that. He spends all day texting someone and playing games.”

“Maybe your friend is Y/N’s mysterious boy.”

“I can ask. He doesn’t really like me a whole lot though.” Alice nods and the table falls back into comfortable chatter. With one exception. You. You’re still typing away on your phone.

Luckystar

Omg

One of my friends brought these new people to sit with us

It’s not awful I was just really confused for a second 💀

Applepi

My friend does that all the time

He’s literally like “You need to find more friends for when I graduate.”

Blah blah blah

Luckystar

That’s hilarious

Lunch is sadly almost over and unlike you I actually pay attention in class

Applepi

Ouch Lucky

I pay attention

If you don’t want to talk to me just say so 🙄💅🏻

Luckystar

I never said that

I just know if I talk to you I won’t be able to do my work

Applepi

Fine

I’ll accept it

Talk to you after school then

Luckystar

Don’t you literally have practice after school today?

Applepi

And? We have breaks your know

It takes an embarrassingly long time for everyone to get to practice

My last class is just right by the place so I’m there first

Luckystar

Just as long as you’re sure it won’t get you in trouble

Bye Pi! Talk to you soon :)

Applepi

Bye Star :)

You weren’t lying, lunch was pretty short. Lev and Alice wanted to keep talking so they decided to walk you to your class. “So Y/N, are we actually going to get you to a volleyball game?”

“Maybe, I guess you’ll have to see.” You fall into a comfortable silence as you walk in between the two. It was nice to listen to their idle chit chat. When you got to your last class of the day they quickly said goodbye and left you to fend for yourself. This class was your least favorite so Pi was used to you texting him the whole time.

Luckystar

Hi

Applepi

I thought you weren’t going to talk to me?

Luckystar

You know the drill by now.

What’s going on over there

Applepi

Nothing much

Luckystar

I don’t believe you

Something exciting always happens to you

Applepi

Okay 🙄

How’s that new friend of yours?

Luckystar

You jealous or something?

Applepi

?

Luckystar

He’s nice, he walked me to my class with one of my other friends

I think they like each other 🤭

Applepi

Cool

I know this is your least favorite class

So

What’s going on?

Luckystar

Nothing much

I’m talking to you so there’s that

Applepi

So dismissive

I actually do have tea but I kind of don’t want to tell you

Luckystar

Oh?

Did you not learn from earlier?

I always win this game

Applepi

Yah but now there’s a prize if I win

Luckystar

You want my name that badly?

Applepi

I want to show you that I can win this little game of yours

Luckystar

Your funeral

Delivered

Luckystar

oH

Using my own strategies against me are you

Delivered

Luckystar

Nope

Not gonna work

Delivered

You put your phone away with a frown as you actually decided to pay attention, since Someone. Decided they didn’t want to talk to you. You don’t know why he’s so desperate to win this game. Two can play this though. If he didn’t talk to you then you wouldn’t talk to him. So what if you were upset tomorrow for not getting to talk to your favorite person?

By the time you had gotten home there still wasn’t a response from Pi, you know this is just a little game but you were starting to get worried.

Luckystar

Are you okay?

Delivered

Applepi

I win

Luckystar

Asshole

I was getting worried

We never go this long without talking

Applepi

I won

What’s your name Star?

Luckystar

Y/N

Read

Luckystar

Pi?

Delivered

Your anxiety grew with every minute spent waiting for a reply. The awful delivered message staring you in the face. You knew he did a club after school. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t responded yet. You try to rationalize to yourself. Not wanting to look at the awful message you put your phone down and got up to make yourself dinner. That didn’t help though, it was all you could think about. Maybe tomorrow you will get a response.

I hope you guys enjoyed! Sorry it’s angstier than other parts but I promise it’ll be worth it! <3!!! My asks are open so send in a request if you want! Sorry this was posted so late, my friend that usually beta reads for me got really busy </3 this is an apology for not having time to work on Cover Girl too. Life got super hectic and I’m trying to work on my school stuff and after school activities. Sorry :( the taglist for the series is open though so just comment here or the main post to be added to that <3 feel free to check out my other works if you liked this :)

Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated <3

Taglist:

Masterlist

[aficionadoenthusiast]

hi! i also love comedy! any chance we could get some more funny fic recs?

yes, absolutely!

pjo

sorry, don't have a ton of these, I tend to read more serious fics for this fandom

keeping it fruity by buoyantsaturn; valgrace, T, 4k; Leo is both so relatable and so silly, I love it

Leo huffed. “Sorry, I just don’t think I can support such senseless violence,” he grumbled, knowing that all of the excuses he and Nico had come up with over the last few years would be useless by that point. “What is a sport, really, if not an excuse to beat some stranger to a pulp?”

sex education by CordeliaRose; solangelo, E & M, 5-20k; I'm not normally a fan of smut, so if this one got me to read smut, you know it's good

Percy tries to give Nico a sex talk. It goes about as well as anyone could have predicted.

marvel

shelter order by deniigiq; team red, G, 46k; team red quarantine group chat fic, need I say more?

Little Spidey (Pink): Hello Twitter. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Spiderman has decided that we should share with you all our private chat. We will be doing so on the condition that y’all remain cool about it. You gonna be cool? (Peter decides to raise spirits of those in isolation by sharing parts of the Team Red chat online day by day.)

Fishing Isn’t Fair to the Fish by NezumiPi; defenders, T, 17k; I was not expecting this one to have so much humor. or an exorcism.

Spoilers for Defenders S1 and prior individual shows. In a magnificent display of poor judgment, Luke Cage invites the Defenders on an upstate fishing trip in they can get to know one another better and perhaps smooth over some minor interpersonal conflicts. Contains (in no particular order): Minor interpersonal conflicts, major interpersonal conflicts, moderate impersonal conflicts, Danny Rand’s undergarments, porn for the blind, misuse of pharmaceuticals, talking swans, occasional fishing, and some seriously unpleasant business.

Mr. Stark's Home for Idiot Teenagers by OffToNewPastures; Iron family, T, 98k; tbh it's been so long since I read this one that I don't remember what it's about, but I have it marked as funny, so here you go

Peter is there, slumped over the kitchen island, slowly cramming spoonfuls of Double Chocolate Cookie Crisp into his mouth, hair tousled and sticking up every which way, and Tony realizes with sudden clarity that he’s fighting a losing battle. Maybe not today, maybe he can put it off for a while, but someday he’s just going to have to give up and love this ridiculous kid. - In which Tony Stark learns object lessons about love, sacrifice, death, friendship, and parenthood; and makes his peace with the unfortunate reality that his penthouse will be crawling with asshole teenagers every weekend for the foreseeable future. Follows canon...loosely. Ahem.

Chaotic Peter by Isnt_it_pretty_to_think_so; Iron family, T, 15-20k; this one is hilarious and painful and gripping and so so beautiful, and it has a logical path to the Iron family trope that doesn't make me cringe. I stayed up to 5 am on a weekday reading it. No regrets. (My note on ao3: "Reread first story to laugh until you cry, reread second part to feel something," if anyone was doubting how I feel about this fic.)

"Is there a reason you're calling this late at night?" Tony asks, worried in spite of himself. "Tell me what's going on, kid." “Everything is one-hundred-percent fine,” Peter says. “Seriously, I've never been better. But I should let you know I have about thirty bricks of cocaine in my bedroom. Also, Karen won't let me turn off Instant Kill Mode. Also, Walmart discontinued my special razzleberry pink squeezy lemonade. Which isn't related to tonight's patrol, I'm just bummed about it.”  Or: The five times Instant Kill Mode is activated +1

Super Duper Side Effects by awesomesockes, whumphoarder; Avengers, T, 16k; most mcu fans probably recognize this one and know it's hilarious

The downside of an enhanced metabolism is that it renders most drugs completely ineffective. Captain America accepted this long ago as an occupational hazard. But after Peter sustains a serious injury in the line of duty and the doctors have no way to manage the pain, Steve decides to volunteer as a test subject for Bruce and Tony’s experimental super drug. However, the soldier ends up getting a little more than he bargained for. (Alternative title: Original Drug Tester: Steve Rogers)

Obligatory mention of the fic that caused this ask:

in technicolor by deniigiq; Marvel's various NYC vigilantes & Brett Mahoney, not rated (I'd give it a T), 120k; again. the observor pov gives the idea of wildlife being studied in their natural habitat, and it is so. fucking. funny.

Brett sighed and looked down at the folder in his hand. “Your name is Peter, right?” “Lawyer.” “Peter, we haven’t even started talking. Let’s just take a minute to ease up.” “Lawyer.” “Bud, we haven’t charged you with a crime. This is just talking.” “Law. Yer.” Goddamn. (Brett's encounters with Team Red/vigilantes and their weird fucking way of helping)

hp

Still Preoccupied... With 1979 by darkbluedark; drarry (+jily & wolfstar), T, 15-20k; pre drarry accidental time travel hanging onto their rivalry for convenience? hilarious.

It’s May 1979 and the Order has just apprehended a pair of mysterious wizards who look remarkably like a Potter and a Malfoy. Naturally, James Potter and Sirius Black are called in to identify the strangely familiar strangers and determine their backgrounds and loyalties. (This would be a lot easier if their captives weren’t convinced everyone they talk to is dead. It would also be easier if they didn’t spend half their bloody time bickering.)

sirius black and the "mystery girl" by tjmcharg; wolfstar, T, 29k; heteronormativity but for humor reasons

"You can't tell me who you're with?" Lily smiles at him hopefully. Sirius laughs. "Alright Evans, if you're so curious, I have a proposition for you" "We'll set up a little bet, you have until the end of the school year - so two months - to work out who I'm dating, or..." he pauses to think and with an evil smirk decides, "or you have to ask your crush out on a date."

pair of tossers with a cat by moonymoment; wolfstar, G, 10k; a cat nearly destroys them. in the middle of a war.

Something seemed to dawn on Remus then; something so obvious he couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before. He frowned and looked at Sirius quizzically. “What?” “Are you…” Remus began, gaping slightly, “jealous of the cat, Sirius?” Sirius looked down. “I’m not jealous of the cat.” “You’re jealous of the cat!” “I am not jealous of the bloody cat.” Remus finds a stray cat on the street and brings it in. Sirius is not impressed. Chaos ensues.

(fuck jkr. for those of you who don't know me.)

(if y'all have any especially funny fics you wanna share, i would not be opposed 👀) (especially marvel and pjo 👀👀)

[tellmeallaboutit]

knock knock (Raphael x F!Player)

Chapter 14, In Which You Play The Main Role

AO3

Art: Apollonia Saintclair – Love is a Killer

Fresh flowers.

Smelled like fresh flowers, freshly cut roses. Smelled amazing.

You opened one eye to admire a bouquet on the bedstand right before you, and then opened the second one. Twelve blood-red roses, their stems neatly trimmed. Nestled within was a card simply signed with an ornate letter 'R'. 

"Well done on not fleeing tonight," it read.

You tried once and learned your lesson. You were back at the place you tried to escape, having achieved nothing but landing your mother in a hospital, and you sure as hell won’t try again any time soon. You were stark naked, but a quick check reassured you that nobody had taken liberties while you slept.

An odd sense of disappointment seeped into you at that realisation, as if you had been overlooked in some way.

Pushing it aside, you stretched and checked the time - 10:30 am on a Saturday morning. Really? That means you slept more than thirty hours straight; a weird, dreamless slumber, much like being dead.

You turned; the side to the bed next to you was meticulously done, as if no one had been there at all. There was a lawn mower buzzing in the garden. Not a thing seemed out of place; blissfully serene. 

Where was Raphael? Where were both of them? Working?

You grabbed your phone and checked it next - nobody died while you were sleeping.

Nobody you knew, at least.

***

You were heading to grab some breakfast when you heard Raphael’s voice from across the upper floor. The other one, the man he was conversing with, sounded strangely familiar too. 

The usually locked study door was wide open. If they wanted to keep their business hush-hush, they'd have ensured it was bolted shut, wouldn’t they?

"Raul, are you out of your mind?" a male voice asked. "Even Avernus Capital doesn't have that kind of cash on balance."

"I've managed to secure third-party financing to bridge the shortfall." That unmistakable Raphael tone, but Raul's words.

You tiptoed closer, positioning yourself just beyond the doorway.

"Who would have both the money and sheer idiotism to help you take Blackrock private?” 

You vaguely recognised the name 'Blackrock', but couldn’t place it right away.

"Turns out some institutions still hold considerable fortunes," Raul responded. “You’d be surprised what compound interest does through centuries of tax-free reign”.

A quiet pause hung in the air before realization hit the other guy (where do you recognize his voice from?): "I see. Is that why you've been schmoozing up to the Vatican? Why would they get involved in your personal insanity?"

Raphael’s signature laugh echoed through the room; it must be a very large room indeed.

“The same reason anyone does anything: discontentment with how things are evolving and hope for a better leader.”

The other man sighed.

“This is not about money anymore, is it, Raul? Look, I respect your financial acumen but you are not - NOT - cut out for politics. With your... ahem... Neapolitan roots? I am being polite now, Raul. How long until they start digging up skeletons in your father’s garden?”

Intrigued, you couldn't help but peek into the room. Raphael was lounging against a pristine glass desk in his full cambion form, cigarette poised between his fingers, sleeves of his crisp white cotton shirt rolled up. He looked relaxed, unbothered, his tail resting peacefully beside him. The only other person in the room was a middle-aged man with ashen blond hair, facing away from you in a leather chair.

The study itself was a bizarre mix of avant-garde decor and Catholic art. Behind Raphael, a replica of Caravaggio (or not a replica…) dominated the entire wall, a depiction of dying Lazarus; not something you would hang to welcome guests. Thin white Venetian blinds covered floor-to-ceiling windows.

Raphael took an indulgent drag from his cigarette and smiled, making a sweeping gesture with his hand. "The gardens of my father are under cultural heritage protection," he said, "and are not to be dug up, come hell or high water." He paused for a moment before continuing, "And yes, you are right. Maybe I've found a calling more profound than just being Mammon's servant. Perhaps his reign is nearing its end; his promises revealed to be empty. After all, he can't keep exploiting his flock ad infinitum if they refuse to reproduce, can he?" 

You wondered if Raul’s constant smoking irked Raphael because there was something freudian about how he constantly dragged on a cigarette.

"A servant of Mammon..." Markus repeated. "A higher calling... Do you even hear yourself?"

"I do," Raphael replied. "And I quite like what I hear. See, Markus; inspire a man’s faith and he’ll paint the Sistine Chapel. Oppress him and he’ll create a masterpiece of fury and rebellion. Give him freedom and prepare for an avalanche of TikTok reels. I refuse to accept the downward spiral this world is in. And so should you."

With a flick of his wrist, Raphael extinguished his cigarette on a marble ashtray and stretched out his shoulders.

“I’m taking over Blackrock,” he said. “And with it comes the infrastructure, the influence, the manpower, the global investments to shape this world as I see fit. No longer will Mammon's greed dictate our fate."

The man scoffed. "You're living in a fantasy world," he said. “You'd have to navigate through a mountain of regulators, politicians, public and private investors. No one is willing to relinquish power back to the Old World. And if you keep spouting this nonsense, the engine of your private jet may just... Oh, what's the matter?"

Following Raphael’s glance, the man turned to you; visibly annoyed. 

Oh no, you knew him from the TV and newspapers - the leader of the democratic liberal party. There was even a tweet of yours out there vowing to spit in his face if given the chance after his speech on welfare and immigrants.

He looked at you with an arched eyebrow; dismissing you at first glance, clearly expecting you to shut the door but Raphael waved you over instead.

“This woman is privy to all my secrets, Markus,” Raphael stated. “Allow me to introduce you to my consort, Anya Berger.”

“Your what now?”, Markus blinked in surprise. “A pleasure to meet you, Ms. Berger”.

”My beloved consort”, he repeated, looking right into your eyes with a tender smile. “The wonderful being that gave me the keys to my kingdom come”. He beckoned again, this time with more urgency: "Come here mouse; don't be timid."

Raphael introduced you as his consort in front of one of the most powerful people in the country. It felt surreal.

He leaned in for a kiss and you happily obliged, tasting his perfectly soft and moisturised lips. As your eyes fluttered open mid-kiss, you stole a glance at Markus who was looking increasingly uncomfortable.

"Three weeks ago, you were swearing off women," Markus sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. "Remember when that French girl accused you of God knows what and Camilla needed my help to handle the media fallout?"

"I am forever grateful for your assistance during that time," Raphael responded. "But then I met this enchanting creature and it made me question everything. Look at her! Isn't she an absolute treasure?"

Markus exhaled slowly, clearly struggling with his thoughts before finally voicing them: "Raul, if I don't say this out loud, no one in your circle will. You're...well," he paused again, searching for the right words. "You're losing touch with reality. At first, I thought it was just rumours but now..." He shot a sharp look at you before continuing, "After your father's death, you clawed your way into the top hundred but don't - DON'T - mistake wealth for power; they're not interchangeable currencies."

Raphael watched him with detached amusement, his hand gently stroking your thigh.

“You are not immortal, Raul, is what I am trying to say”.

Raphael let out a laugh. "I just might be. Only death will tell for sure."

Markus' attempts at a diplomatic response died on his lips as he stared at Raphael in disbelief.

“You know, Raul”, he finally said. “The next thing I expect is you telling me God speaks through you”.

Raphael snapped his fingers as if struck by an idea. "Funny you should say that. I had a most peculiar dream of Archangel Raphael recently. Maybe one day God will choose me as His envoy and I will spread His word loud and clear. After all, His flock tends to wreck chaos when left unguided”.

Markus turned to you, pleading for some form of support. "You...you don't think it's crazy talk, Ms. Berger? You don't want to say anything to your boyfriend?"

“I don’t think it’s crazy talk”, you shrugged. “And I am an expert”.

That silenced him.

“Anya stands by me no matter what, my precious little mouse”, Raphael purred, placing a hand on your shoulder. “While it appears I’ve vastly overestimated your loyalty, Markus. Years of friendships, of secrets shared, of deals struck, and this is your payback. Tsk-tsk. Have you forgotten what happened in Sankt Moritz in 99? Because I certainly haven't."

If the threat bothered him, Markus did not let it show; he stood up from his chair and dusted off his suit.

“I've vastly overestimated your sanity, Raul”, Markus retorted. “I wish both of you a good day. You won't be having my backing in Davos, by the way. When you fall - and you will - I refuse to get pulled down with you.”

“Anya?”, Raphael looked at you with a smile. “Do you want to wish our dear guest something? A final farewell, perhaps?"

What? 

Should you kill Markus or something? You could gladly spit him in the face, but killing him yourself seems a bit… ugh… well. 

He could just… change his mind.

“I wish you would… reconsider?”, you suggested. “I wish you would reconsider”.

That came out… the way it came out.

Markus stared at you the very familiar stare of somebody who both slightly pities you and is slightly disgusted by you.

“…madhouse”, the man said and went straight for the door. 

As soon as the door closed behind Markus, you turned to Raphael with a bewildered look on your face.

“Was that...was that really-”

“It was whom I used to consider a friend. Perhaps with a tad more fervor in your wishes next time, my dear mouse”, Raphael said, a smile on his face that barely masked annoyance. “A bit more direction as well. You are only granted that which you truly yearn for, after all."

You quickly nodded, and watched his face shift. It was fleeting, momentarily, but you learned to read it very well.

"So, my sleeping beauty, did you have a good rest?" Raul asked. "You were out for a full day and a half. I was practically dying of loneliness and yet, being the gentleman that I am, I let you sleep in peace. Now don't I deserve some praise for being so kind?”

“You do”, you nodded. “Amazing fit of willpower”.

“Did you miss me terribly?”, he asked as he pushed strands of hair away from your face. “Or did you think about running away again?”

“Yes, of course”, you said, and quickly corrected yourself: “I mean no, no thoughts of running away, of course, and yes, I missed you terribly”.

Raul interpreted your words in the only way he wanted to interpret them.

“Is that so? I have twenty minutes until the next call”, he said, pulling your body to him. "Do you think that would be enough to show me how badly I was missed?”

read the rest on ao3

[ssho197]

pt.1 showering with my fav genshin men

contents: gender neutral reader, slight nsfw, nudity, injury (xiao), slight public nudity (xiao), praise (kazuha), degradation (scaramouche), body shaming (scaramouche)

pt.1 xiao, kazuha, scaramouche

first post abt charas other than xiao ??? hope this does well (i’m actually roasting and burning to a crisp here it’s so hot augh)

xiao

starting off strong w my fav ofc,, so when you often to shower with him to help clean the blood off his wounds, he declined immediately since he didn’t want to trouble you with cleaning him but you insisted,,, also doesn’t have to be a shower it could be bathing in a lake,,

when you first took your clothes off to get into the shower/lake xiao turned away instantly and just refused to look at you so you turned his head towards yours and gave him a little kiss as confirmation or jus a sign of like “it’s ok xiao don’t worry”

his clothes were stained red in some parts so you also helped wash them after you two showered/bathed together,, you helped clean every inch of his body and you made sure not to put too much pressure on his wounds

as for how he acts while showering together,, he was pretty flustered but he does praise you or validate you if you’re insecure about your body,, he would also let you be under the shower head to ensure that you’d be warm he wouldn’t dare hog the water

kazuha

he’s one of my favs because he’s just so sweet!!!!! jdjcjsnsjdixa so he first offered to wash your hair after you had an extremely long and difficult day and of course you accept his offer,, after you settle down and put away your work/day/school stuff he’s already got candles going in the bathroom, he somehow dimmed the lights and got your comfy pajamas ready

just seeing your boyfriend treat you like royalty brought tears to your eyes,, you got into the bathroom with kazuha waiting for you patiently and he went in for a quick kiss to comfort you and he then brought you to the bathtub or shower and he offered to help you take off your clothes to which you agreed,, he’s super gentle with you and he makes sure he folds away the clothes he takes off you,, he also takes off his own clothes and then takes your hand and steps into the shower/bathtub with you going in first

bathtub ver: he lets you lay on his chest as he rubs the shampoo into your scalp while giving you a scalp massage,, it’s so comfortable and relaxing you could just fall asleep in your boyfriend’s arms as he washes your hair for you,,, he makes sure to wash your hair with both shampoo and conditioner, he tends to your scalp and tangles delicately, as if he were holding a butterfly.

shower ver: he lets you stand under the shower head and he holds you with one hand by the waist as the other washes your hair,, he makes sure to be careful while grabbing the next bottle as to not make you slip on the wet tiles

he’s not flustered or embarrassed at all, he loves you for who you are and praises your body all the time,, he kisses your scars or marks that make you insecure and tells you you’re beautiful, even when you’re as vulnerable as when you’re showering

scaramouche

oh boy. this is going to be a wild ride. you had to offer to shower with scaramouche first and after he thought about it for a week he finally agreed. he thought it was stupid and weird that you wanted to shower with him. “ugh you’re so fucking clingy. fine. i’ll do it. are you happy now?”

he finally got another haircut and you have to wash his hair to get rid of any stray hairs that might still be on his head,, you explain this to him and after a tiny passive aggressive argument, he agrees.

you drag him to the bathroom and take off your clothes, when you finish, you look at scaramouche who is still fully clothed, scowling at you and looking you up and down. “what?! what the fuck are you looking at? take your clothes off and hurry up scara” he finally does and god. his body left you stunned. his waist and chest were so nice to look at.. AHEM?? “now what are YOU looking at?

he hogs the hot water and you have to push him out of the way so you don’t freeze to death,, you take care of his scalp and make sure not to pull too hard on the minor tangles and knots in his hair as you rub the shampoo into his hair. he throws small insults at you, degrading you and your body,, “ugh.. you take up so much room…” or “why do you look like that… ugh..”