just watched the soonvijarn reaction video of bad buddy episode 4 for the first time and my words...... i was NOT expecting p'aof to start fricking tearing up because of that insanely great scene at the end (nanon you absolute absolute legend i don't think i could ever get over his performance here).
i mean of course i and you and everybody teared up when we watched it but i just did NOT expect the frigging director who had shot the scene (and who had probably seen the edits and the cuts multiple times) to do that.
throughout that part i wasn't looking at anybody else on that screen not even patpran cos here was the guy who brought them together on the screen who was behind the scenes who made this all possible viewing his show from the point of view of a passive audience member and feeling moved for his own characters and perhaps seeing his own queer self there too (idk if he has spoken about why he teared up or we know more about this from somewhere else) but with no other context this legit made me (as a queer person who writes queer stories) tear up and i had to pause and take a second to appreciate just how much this show is doing for queer people even outside the show.
it's all just a lot for my tiny fragile heart. i love bad buddy so much yall its made such a special place in my mind i could cry.
ahhh look at his eyes all welling up with tears arghhh I CANNOT
in hindsight though it was funny cos here i was tearing up over p'aof tearing up over pran tearing up over pat. it was inception but with tears, it was a tearception. alright thats it goodbye i will see myself out.
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So, I have bad news: my laptop shut down.
It had already been randomly shutting down and sometimes even having weird glitches for the past years, my laptop has like 10 years now, as i got it used from my father around 5 years ago. I think there might be an issue with the battery because it also gets weird at times... like the battery icon appearing as it has either more or less than it actually has or when i try to charge it it doesn't works sometimes (my iPod has a similar issue as well).
For many reasons, I've been unable to get a new laptop (and I definitely can't get a new one right now) so I will see if I can fix it, either with help from a relative or someone else in the next days. I don't know if i will be able to finish the code like this the exact day I want but I hope so. I just really want to finish already.
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midtown fucking RIPS oh my god
first annual chrismukkah celebration
12/21/23
all pics here taken by me :)
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“Oh, a new Beast-Yeast chapter is out, this’ll be fun!”
Me after said Beast-Yeast chapter:
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Top five Seivarden moments, ranked? For science??
i have Holes In My Brain, so i've almost certainly forgotten some i loved (every seivarden moment is my favorite moment!!! i just love Seeing Her!!!!) but doing my best:
4. all her sopping wet cat moments in justice. when she watches breq kill four people & complains that she's cold. babygirl,...
3. in the beginning of sword, when she keeps asking breq abt sex. and breq is like wow... she must just want to sleep with Someone. which is more of a Breq Moment than a seivarden moment but i love how pathetic she is abt it.
2. at the end of sword, when seivarden brings in mercy of kalr and saves breq's life, and then says she's "look[ing] forward to being reprimanded." that's embarrassing for her. and when she IS reprimanded & seivarden is very Obviously in love with her. like, she asks breq if she KNOWS ("Do you see what Ship sees?") & breq is, per usual, absolutely oblivious re: being loved & cared for. Peak Comedy. seivarden is having the Most Time Ever and breq is like - how odd, i wonder what's up with her.
1. and i think it's everyone's favorite seivarden moment, but after she falls off the bridge and asks breq that if that was something she'd do for someone she hates, what would she do for someone she loves?? (plus every conversation they have about ship favorites. Ships Hate Her!!!)
this is missing a #5 because i've only just started my re-read of mercy and i want room to add one more when i come across it.
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being in the 'my ocs' fandom is so fucking lonely aaaaahh i'm just sitting here.. playing with dolls all on my own
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