#**sorry this is incredibly long i just wanted to establish the next scene if you will??? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

austinbutlerslovers · 10 months ago

Text

Hard at Work

Label Mature 18+

Summary You and Austin have been away from each other for 3 weeks as he films the Bikeriders. It’s agonizing for you both unable to physically be together. After pulling some strings Austin is able to have you stay for the weekend and even visit him on set. You finally reunite in his trailer and he immediately uses you to relieve his sexual urges.

Established relationship girlfriend

Fingering•restraint•orgasm•oral sex male•cum eating

Inspo: Anon request 💝 “Austin missing you and not being able to see you or have sex with you but you get to visit him on set one day and he wont have sex at work because he’s professional but he’s so stressed he makes you give him oral instead lots of oral description on Austin and how he uses you for stress relief”

Hard at Work

It’s been 3 weeks since Austin left to Ohio to film the Bikeriders. After being apart from him so long all you can do is fantasize about him. His giant house is empty the staff cleans while you run errands and work out. You comfort yourself in the evening after your shower going through the walk in closet pulling one of his white tees and smelling his scent, vanilla orange blossoms with musk you wear one to bed.

Every night you have facetime sex with him, he has a full goatee now and his voice sounds incredible as he tells you how to pleasure yourself for him as you watch him mastrubate on camera. Every time you close the laptop you feel a twinge of pain you crave his company his touch his everything.

You lay back on his empty king size bed and hug a pillow until you doze off.

You over sleep the next morning the maid knocks on the master bedroom door and you sit up in bed eyes squinting as you wake up . “Just a minute“ you say picking your phone up from the night stand to check the time. It’s blown up with texts and missed calls from Austin.

Austin 8:16 - Baby pack a bag I’m having you flown out

Austin 8:49- Baby where are you? I got approval to have you stay at my apartment ! Please answer

9:09 Missed Call

9:15 Missed Call

9:29 Missed Call

You immediately press call back

You: “Austin oh my gosh baby I overslept I’m so sorry we were on face time so late last night and l I was just missing you so much”

Austin: “Not for long your staying with me this weekend I’m kidnapping you and holding you hostage ”

You smile

You:“Austin I will be the most willing hostage for you “

You both laugh

Austin: “I need you, I’m missing you so badly baby. When I’m alone in the apartment at night after we face time I’m just gutted I want you to sleep here with me . I begged the coordinator to have you stay and they said they’ll allow two days at first to see how it affects my work and if all goes well you can come back longer for the weeks when I’m needed in less scenes. Now that it’s happening I’m just so grateful I’ll get to have you here..”

His voice trails off he misses you so much

You: “Aww Austin I’ll be there soon, I'm so excited you have no idea. I always assume you’ll be away the entire time you work this must’ve been a really big ask”

Austin:“Yea I think it was, I requested 3 weeks ago before I even arrived here and they just granted this morning. Oh! and its freezing here I’m wearing my hoodie and socks right now in the apartment, pack everything warm!”

You: “Okay I will, do you need me bring you anything? Do you need more hoodies?

You giggle

Austin:“Yes! More hoodies and more you!”

You both smile on each end of the call.

You: “Okay let me know all the details. I’m already mentally packing a bag to be there with you ”

You put him on speaker and open your notes app and he explains the dynamics of the trip what time you are arriving who will pick you up. He sends you his door code plane tickets and NDA paperwork to email back signed. Once everything is complete you say your I love yous and hang up.

You let out a shriek of excitement as you run to the walk in closet packing your weekend bag full of sexy lingerie and skimpy outfits to go see Austin. Then you smartly pack your jeans and jackets with his hoodies.

Ohio

It’s just before noon the sun is trying to peek through the overcast clouds covering the city of Ohio. Austin booked you an early flight to maximize his time with you. As you leave the airport after the 5 hour trip you rest your hand on your chin and close your eyes a little tired.

You are wearing black leggings and one of Austin’s black hoodies. His driver adjusts the rear view mirror as he speaks to you. “Austin would like me to make a quick stop at his apartment to drop off your things then promptly bring you to the filming location for the day, I have your passes. “Thank you” you say kindly then remember to text Austin. You snap a a selfie and attach it to the message.

You: “I’m here”

You look out the window and yawn trying to be more alert .

Your phone buzzes

Austin: “Fuck you look so good,I’m so excited you’ll be with me soon. I get a break in my trailer in a few hours I want you there.” He sends a picture of he and Jody comer in their costumes throwing up peace signs making you laugh.

“I’ll be there baby” you type.

You put your phone away and rest you eyes a moment more.

The driver pulls up to a condominium community the camera scans his car sticker in the window the gate opens. He pulls to a stop at the side entrance of the building popping the trunk the sound waking you up.

He opens your door and you exit the car following him as he takes your luggage. He wheels it in as he scans his key fob entering the building. He takes the elevator with you to the second floor exiting into the hall and stopping in front of door B17. You enter the code the lock wizzes open.

“Here is my card if you need anything I’ll be waiting for you downstairs” the drives instructs.

“Thank you” you say again and you giddily enter Austin’s place.

It’s dark inside all his shades are drawn. You click on a light stepping into the living room area and he was right it’s freezing. You check the thermostat its on but clearly not heating the place.

The apartment is a one bedroom Airbnb style set up, amenities with contemporary decor. There is a beige couch and beige curtains on dark hard wood floors. A shelf full of fake decorative vases a television and a desk set up against the window with a computer and a laptop.

You walk over to the desk. Austin has a pod cast mic set up next to his laptop a stack of books and a script. He also a framed photo he snapped of you laying on his bed.

You look back recognizing the chandelier and the bookshelf of vases in the living room realizing this is where he has the face time sex calls you have together making you blush.

You head to the master bedroom, there is a queen sized bed with two night stands, ornate lamps and a bookshelf, his outfit is already laid out on the duvet covers a black hoodie, gray sweat pants white socks. You enter the bathroom he has his skin care products neatly arranged on the counter it’s so cute you can’t stand how organized he is.

You bring your suitcase to the bedroom and undress, adding your plane outfit to his laundry basket and rinsing off. You exit the shower and dry off trembling the air is frigid in the apartment.

You pull your white mini skirt and stretchy black long sleeve v neck top from your suitcase adding boots a scarf with a black trench coat. You know how much he loves you in mini skirts.

Underneath you have a delicate lacy bra and panty set that he loves to feel the texture of on your body, the bra also makes your tits look amazing. You smile looking in the mirror peeking at your outfit thighs and breasts on full display then you tie the trench coat tight covering it all back up. He’s going to devour you.

You make sure to bring the gifts you picked up for him. Dark chocolate, ‘Essential Oils: Stress Relief Kit’ and one hoodie for on set.

As you exit the building the driver opens your door and you climb in with your gift bag feeling refreshed and excited to finally see him.

It takes 25 minutes to drive from the apartment to the filming location for the day.

The driver rolls down his window showing his ID badge at the first security check . You look out the and see the signage for ‘Edge Water Motorsports Park’. As you roll in the grounds are littered with tons of people dressed as bikers, there is a camera crane, camera crew, dozens of set coordiators standing around, extras makeup artists stunt men and personel with clip boards making sure everyone is where they are supposed to be. There is one person in charge with a megaphone progressing the production.

Your stomach is in knots this is such a big ordeal. It always impresses and intimidates you how Austin can just turn on and be in character with all of this chaos going on around him and that all of these people are here for the movie he is the star of. You’ve never been invited on set before and now you are feeling the apprehension as to why.

You drive through the final check point of security the leading cast trailer area. You look in awe seeing the doors with the names Hardy and Comer stopping at Butler .

Two security approach the car one speaks to the driver the other opens your door as you exit withyour gift bag. He hands you your lanyard with a VIP marking

“You keep this on you at all times on set, Austin is expecting you, he’s in his trailer” he says gruffly and you thank him.

The Trailer

You approach the long air bus that reads Butler and smile. You walk up two steps and knock

“Come in” you hear his familiar voice say.

You are so happy your heart begins pounding in your chest. You pull the handle opening the door to his trailer. Austin stops reading and places his script on the table eyes lighting up immediately as he sees you he watches you step in and close the door behind you.

He picks you up so quickly in his strong arms lifting you into a hug. He looks handsome in a different grungy sort of way with his goatee and his biker outfit on

“I’ve missed you so much baby” he says eyes shining with excitement

“I’ve missed you too Austin“ you admit lovingly. Your arms are draped over his shoulders gift bag swinging behind him in your hands as he holds you to him squeezing his arms around your torso.

He lowers you back down and plants a kiss on your lips you tiptoe up wanting more. His eyes light up as he plants another softer longer one but it isn’t enough for you, he smells like diesel and motor oil driving you crazy.

“Austin have you been riding a motorcycle today?” Your voice almost a hush from arousal.

“Yea I did film a riding scene how did you know?” he smiles curiously.

You lean in to him just at the place under his jaw at his neck inhaling his scent again

“Mmm because you smell just like fresh motor oil” you admit and it sparks your passion for him. You trace your finger over one of his biker patches peeking up at him through your lashes

“Austin I need you” you whisper running your hand down the leather vest of his Benny costume.

He smiles bringing his hand to hold your face

“I know I need you too, but we’ll fix that later right now I was only able to request a one hour visit” he winks at you and you smile you tell yourself to be good with him in this setting.

You hand him his gift bag and he looks delighted that you thought of him and immediately digs through it taking out his favorite brand of dark chocolate first “Yes!” he says confirming the choice smiling up at you.

Then he sees the stress relief essential oils and chuckles to himself

“I hope this work”he says making you giggle. He sees his hoodie at the bottom and thanks you with a kiss. He sets the bag down on his table and unseals the dark chocolate taking a bite.

“Come in and get comfortable “ he says as he motions you in and locks the door behind you. He guides you to sit down on his brown leather couch.

You open your coat revealing your outfit as you sit, breasts on display legs crossed showing your upper thighs in the mini skirt, he pauses dumbfounded until he regains his thoughts putting his chocolate bar in the fridge and pulling out a glass jar of filtered water. He continues staring at your body as he pours you a glass and sets it on the low table in front of you.

He pulls his chair from the high table to sit across from you his legs wide apart resting in his chair wondering how he's going to stop thinking about fucking you in his trailer and just enjoy your company while he's on break.

"You look so good" he says already faltering eyes lingering on your exposed thighs in the mini skirt. You intentionally uncross your legs spreading them wide apart showing him your panties. He sits up in his chair full attention on you. He hasn't had you in so long he's craving you now.

You see his unfaltering gaze between your legs and leave the couch climbing onto his lap straddling him as you kiss him. He accepts you hugging his arms around your waist kissing you back slowly.

Your taste your smell your sounds his cock begins to swell being reminded.

"Austin I missed you so much I couldn't think straight" you say taking your lips from his.

“It was the same for me" he breaths as he caresses the nape of your neck.

He pushes his cock against you and pulls your neck to his lips kissing along your throat his tongue sliding out to taste your skin getting more aroused by your neediness for him as you grind your clothed heat back on to him.

"Just show it to me” he whispers. You stand immediately and lift your skirt pulling your panties down they cling to your wetness before you pull them all the way off placing them on the table.

You go to lay on on the couch and let him fuck you but he quickly grabs ahold of your wrist quietly laughing.

"no no I can't take you here" he says whispering "I'm at work....but l'll give you something else" his eyes stare at you daringly.

He pulls you back on to his lap with your legs spread apart pussy completely exposed to him. He pulls your skirt up to the hips looking in your eyes watching your reaction as he reaches his hand between your legs and slides his fingers back and forth on your wet pussy folds.

"Mmmmm Austin!" you cry out finally feeling his touch. He loves watching you get off, but he cups his hand on your mouth reminding you to be quiet as he continues.

"You're already so wet" he whispers. You get wet so easily for him it makes his cock start to get hard when he feels it seeping out of you. "Fuck" he whispers again and slips his long fingers all the way inside of you making you moan loudly . Even though his hand is muffling the sound against your mouth he stills his fingers inside of you.

"I want to make you cum...but if you can't be quiet I will stop ....and I don't want to stop" he says a glint of sexual deprivation in his eyes. "Are you going to be good for me and stay quiet so I can watch you cum"

You nod frantically with his hand covering your mouth wanting him to finish and fight yourself to remain quiet for him.

He begins again gently sliding his fingers in and out of you as your walls grip them tightly. Not having him in so long intensifying your pleasure making you fight the urge to moan so badly it's transcending you to another consciousness. Your face flushes pink and your body writhes against his palm beneath you as you make tiny muffled noises against his other hand cupped over your mouth.

He just stares at your beauty loving his large hand covering your mouth holding back your moans as his fingers derive pleasure out of you pushing you over the edge making you fall apart. He's feeling drunk from your arousal for him, speeding up his movements loving the feel of his fingers squeezing inside of you as his knuckles wetly smack against your entrance. He wants to enjoy his favorite sight of watching you cum for him.

You can't believe you're doing this in his trailer on set with security and staff right outside the door. It makes you want to rush and and try to cum faster your body begins tensing from anxiety as your heart races faster and he can already tell something is wrong.

"Just relax for me" he whispers, slowly removing his hand from your mouth placing it on the back of your neck holding you closer. With the hand that is fingering you he places his thumb on your clit so that with each push of his fingers inside of you his thumb glides on your clit too. It’s such a skilled move you stare at him in awe feeling the pleasure amplifying in your core as your eyes fill with worship for what hes doing to you. He just smiles at you and pulls your neck to his mouth kissing and sucking his favorite place just below your jaw

You give into him completely exhaling small whimpers as he kisses your neck and expertly fingers you into an orgasm, your panting heavily in his ear, rocking and clenching on him. As you start to climax he whispers his praises

"You've been so good for me being quiet, I want to make you cum for me now" you nod profusely feeling the tightness in your core ready to snap at any second.

He pushes his fingers up toward your naval and curls them down pulling in a “come here” motion that has you lose all resolve he fingers your gspot faster and harder until he’s rocking your entire body in his lap. You grip onto his shoulders for dear life as an extreme rush of pleasure floods your core and it snaps as you orgasm for him holding back every loud moan that tries to escape your throat.

When he removes his fingers you whimper, and spread your legs wider wanting more. It gets him so hot knowing you need a second orgasm being without him for so long. He rewards you immediately slipping his fingers back in and pressing his other hand down across your naval plunging his fingers deeper, it feels like he's squeezing the life out of you as you gasp overwhelmed with so much euphoria your vision goes blurry.

He pulls his fingers out and waits until you whimper

“Austin please” you beg, his fingers teasing just near your entrance.

“ You want more?” He whispers

“ Yes Austin Please!” you beg almost raising your voice from how much you need it. He then slips his fingers back inside of you doubling his pace watching your facial expression change as your about to cum again. He's getting off being able to finger fuck you and see you orgasm a second time for him.

When he curls his finger against your gspot while pressing his hand on your naval it makes your body constrict so tightly you can’t breathe you clench on him so hard until you feel overwhelmed and a burst of pleasure erupts in your core releasing liquid all over his fingers as he wetly pounds them between your legs. He stills his fingers when you shudder and collapse against his chest trembling, the double orgasm wrecking you.

"You came so beautifully for me " he whispers in your ear as he pets down your hair, he loved watching how he made you cum twice so much. He carefully pulls his fingers out of you fully covered in your slick. He planned to suck them but the taste of you always turns him on too much and he has to get through more scenes at work.

He decides to make you do it for him.

“Open your mouth for me I want you to taste what I cant have until later” he whispers and you suck him clean from his knuckles to his finger tips.

His lips part and pupils dilate wide watching you, it arouses him so much you feel his cock getting brick hard beneath you .

“I have to get up” he whisper's slightly panicked and you giggle leaving his lap quickly and letting him stand. “Get dressed “ he says eyeing your painties on the table.

You pull them back on as he tries to straighten himself out. The outline of his erect cock is prevalent in his jeans there’s nothing he can do to hide it.

You drop down on your knees in-front of him already undoing his belt freeing access to pull down his zipper. His body is tensing not wanting to cum at work, especially not on set, especially not in his character costume, but he doesn’t stop you hes already consumed with the thought of cumming in your mouth.

His brain starts trying to take over

“Baby I can’t do this at w…” he starts but you finally release his hard veiny cock in your hand making his body jump

“You can’t do what baby?” You ask looking up to him poised to suck his cock. He can’t resist the urge his eyes faltering looking down your top and seeing your breasts in a lace bra and your thighs exposed in the miniskirt riding up to be more like a belt. He wants in your mouth so badly he gives in

“Baby suck my cock ” he begs.

You look at his length pulsing in your hand, bigger and redder than the last time you’ve seen it. He’s been waiting to have sex with you this entire time. You feel a surge of arousal making you wetter rubbing your thighs together wanting to fuck his brains out.

You hold the base and slowly guide him in your mouth a desperate moan escapes his throat when his tip hits the back of your throat filling your mouth all the way up.

You twirl your tongue around the tip and he grips the edge of the table to keep himself steady. You love the sound of him gasping and making small whimpers above as you hollow your cheeks and begin to suck. His eyes are shut tight and he’s panting he needed you so badly

"It’s so good baby” he breaths.

You reach your hand up guiding it underneath his shirt trailing your fingers tips on his rock hard abs. He wants his release down your throat and begins gently thrusting his length in your mouth letting you know he’s ready to cum. You hold firm to his hips tracing your thumbs on the bones there knowing he’s going to go so hard when he orgasms.

He holds your hair in a makeshift pony tail ready to use your face

“You gonna swallow for me baby?” he asks through ragged breaths fucking your mouth faster. You lock eyes with him and you nod with his heavy cock in your mouth making slurping sounds as he’s ramming it in, he presses deeper and your throat clenches around his tip. “ UGHH” he cries loudly from the intense feeling.

He grips your hair harder holding your head steady to milk his cock

“Here it comes ..suck it out of me” he says making you moan on his length twirling your tongue over the head sucking hard on his tip until you hear him grunting loudly as his silky cum squirts across your palette, you relax your throat and swallow it right out of the tip of his cock

“OH FUCK” he yells loudly doubling over. He loses all his strength as you drain him completely dry and he struggles to recover. You are sure everyone outside the trailer heard him.

You release his empty cock from your mouth and catch your breath. Both of your thoughts interrupted by a harsh knock on the trailer door.

You quickly get up and adjust your clothing as Austin zips and buckles his belt checking that you are decent. He opens the door with a causal innocence

“Everything alright Mr. Butler? “ the staffer asks. Austin smiles running his hand through his hair knowing he was too loud.

“Yes just rehearsing lines” He says with a cool cadence gained from his profession as an actor.

“I’m sorry to bother you but you have 10 minutes until take. The golf cart will be here soon do you need anything else before you head back on set?” The staffer asks.

Austin looks over at you and you shake your head no “Were all good “ Austin says nodding to him as he closes the door.

He wraps you in his arms as soon as it shuts nuzzling his nose against your neck planting sweet kisses up to your ear

“You are such a naughty girl making me cum in my trailer” he whispers and you giggle “But man do I feel great now” he smiles.

“I can tell” you say affectionately.

“Yea my stress level has been through the roof … I was so distracted all the time, now I’m so clear headed I probably won’t even need as many takes today” He confesses as he holds you tighter and presses his pelvis into yours

“The fact that you’re going to watch on set today is going distract the fuck out of me, but I’ll probably get my best takes ever thinking about how I get to strip you out of this outfit when I get to the apartment later” He says tracing his fingertip along the lace of your bra peeking out of your top, he takes a hold your jaw tilting your face up and gently kisses your lips in appreciation. He’s so much sexier after you make him cum.

He takes your hand and pushes the trailer door open leading you outside just as the golf cart arrives you both hop in and take a seat behind the driver. He peeks over at you once you’re both settled and smirks watching you smiling dreamily staring off in to space without a care in the world from the orgasms he gave you. He puts. his arm around you pulling you closer enjoying having you back with him again.

You are just lost in bliss daydreaming about the ways he made you cum in his trailer and how he’s going to have his way with you so many more times over the weekend in the apartment . You place your hand on his thigh and squeeze it in anticipation, ready to go see him professionally work hard on set this time.

END

Masterlist

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mrs-pondwater19 · 1 year ago

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Some Alone Time

Shinjiro Aragaki x AFAB Reader SMUT

Hello my lovelies, this story is pretty simple as far as plot goes, this takes place during the time you spend with Shinjiro when you max out his social link in the game Persona 3 Portable *I've never played P3P so if I get some things wrong plot wise I'm sorry*. There will be direct dialogue from the game for the romance scene. The reader is afab, so fem anatomy *I'm not good for writing much else and I'm sorry* All participants are aged up for the sake of the story. This is a smutty one so minors please walk away. This story was requested by the lovely @nutmeg030. I hope you enjoy my dear.

WARNINGS: 18+, Minors DNI, SPOILERS, friends to lovers, established relationship right before smut, no real plot just porn lol, slight angst, domination, hickeys/markings, soft foreplay, fondling, clothed genital stimulation, slight dirty talk, unprotected sex, p in v, Shinjiro trying to be gentle but fails and is a rough boi, rough sex, praise, cum on body, cute cuddly shit.

When you walked into the lounge, it was particularly empty that night, it was you and few other students lingering around from what you could see. The atmosphere was dull, deary, and damned near boring. The few students that were there were either reading their texts books or conversing over a light meal from the kitchen. Some of them being friends from your group hanging out after the long day. You gave them a little wave as you passed by, making your way towards the back.

Most of the other students headed back to their rooms earlier that night, by the time nine o'clock rolled around. Either to get some studying in or pass out after a day of long, grueling classes. And by the time ten thirty would roll around the dormitory would be dead and silent, like a ghost town.

But not you, that was usually the time you'd meet up with a dear friend from your group, Shinjiro. You didn't really get to see him much during the day other than when you'd attend classes or battle against shadows with him and the rest of your group. That time of night was when you'd actually get to spend time with him, to learn about his personality and his interests outside of all formalities of the group. He seemed cold and gruff when you two first started hanging out, often just wanting to be left alone and attempting to push you away. But over time he began to gradually open up and you had grown incredibly fond of the mysterious, dark haired man. Learning about his traumatic history involving some of the others students, all his interests, and his funny little quirks as well as his personality made you feel something you've never really experienced with anyone else.

You adored all of your friends immensely, there wasn't any doubt about that, but with Shinjiro it was something a little different, something a little deeper. Having broken down his tough, gruff exterior and revealing all his darkest secrets to you, good and bad, it made you feel very special. It made you feel like you two could share anything and everything with each other. And it seemed the bond you two had created was at a point where it couldn't be taken to the next level. Which, with any luck, was what you were hoping to achieve later into the evening.

As you walked on, you saw Shinjiro leaning up against the wall, hands him his pockets, thinking quietly to himself. As you approached him your heart began to beat faster from the nervousness and excitement flowing through your body. His gaze met yours momentarily, eyes widen for a split second before looking away, going back into his thoughts.

"Hey Shinjiro" you said sweetly as you stood beside him, mimicking his current stance.

"Shouldn't you be with the others," he asked very curtly. He shifted around slightly, arms crossing over his chest.

"I can't give you anything or do anything for you." His eyes avoided yours as you felt a slight ping again your chest at his cold response. But you wouldn't let that deter you,

"I want to be with you Shinji," you replied very calmly. His head turned in your direction, looking at you as he raised an eyebrow to your statement. Looking away from you once more with confliction spread across his face, he shifted again before motioning you to go over to the bar with him. Both of you making your way over, the lounge now almost completely empty, you stood adjacent from Shinjiro. You like looked up at him, your loving gaze settling on his gruff features as you tried to find the courage and the right words to express your feelings. He looked down at you, his expression never faltering as he said,

"You can stare at me like that all day. I got nothing for you." The look in your eyes never wavering, knowing he was just saying all these things to try and keep you at a safe distance.

"Haven't you wasted enough time on me? What more do you want?"

This was it, this was finally your chance to tell him how you really, truly felt about him. There wasn't anymore friendly bonding beyond this point, and the both of you knew it . You took a deep breath and looked at him, his steel grey eyes looking at you with blankly, soft undertones drowning somewhere deep within them. You smiled kindly at him as your heart began to beat faster, to the point you thought it would beat right out of your chest from the anxiousness, but you knew this was the perfect, and maybe the only time, to confess.

"I love you Shinjiro," you said with warmth and confidence. You thought for sure you'd slip up, have the words get caught in your throat, or stutter over yourself and pull away from what you wanted to say. But you didn't, it flowed from you so perfectly, better than you had ever expected it to. His stoic expression dropped from his face as soon as those words fell from your lips, his eyes wide and face flushed,

"Huh?...D-don't tease me like that!" He said in embarrassment, thinking you weren't being serious with him.

"I'm not teasing you," you said very seriously, making it very clear that you weren't joking. He grumbled to himself, realizing you weren't messing around with him. Looking away from you for a moment, a painful strain forming in his eyes. He turned his gaze back towards you, his stoic expression coming back as he rebutted,

"I mean, why just blurt out something like that? Here, of all places..." He was steadfast in not giving you a reaction from your confession, not right away anyways. Taking a moment to find a response you thought you yourself. Then an idea popped into your head, if this wasn't the place for you to express your feelings, why not one of your rooms? Feeling bold, probably from the adrenaline of your confession, you blurted out,

"Won't you come to my room?"

"I-I can't do that. I mean you're... Well, people are gonna get the wrong idea." Though he stuttered over his words, his stoicness never faltered. But it didn't stop you either, you wanted to get him alone, to show him that you were one hundred percent serious about these feelings for him. You jokingly replied to him,

"That just leaves your room, then." A dusting of pink littered his face as he continued to stutter,

"Y-you moron. I... I ain't a nice guy Y/N. I can't let you in my room. Don't you get it?" You didn't believe him. Not for a second did you believe that he wasn't a nice guy or a bad person. You knew deep down who he was, and he was good, kind, and just.

"I know what I'm saying Shinjiro." He shifted his head to the side as he put his guard up, not wanting to let you break him down as he narrowed his eyes at you,

"No way. It's not gonna happen," he said coldly. He took a moment to realize how his tone was and switched to a slightly softer one, but still contempt laced his voice,

"Look, you need to watch yourself. Don't bother with someone like me." Ignoring his remarks, you stepped closer to him, running your fingers lightly over the burgundy fabric of his jacket.

"I still love you Shinji." Turning his head back to you, he sighed in frustration,

"Idiot..."

After constantly persisting, pestering, and making excuses to him as to why you two should sneak away, he took your hand off his coat and led you way from the lounge and to his dorm room.

...

When you entered his room, you took in the emptiness of it. The four burnt beige colored walls, his work desk, and a bed. Part of you felt a stale sadness for him as you observed your surroundings. Seeing the other rooms of your friends was seeing how they expressed themselves and their interests taking a sort of physical form. While with Shinjiro's, it felt very sad and empty, like he couldn't express himself or his interests to the world. But that would be a conversation for another time.

You walked over to the desk and leaned against it as you ooked in his direction, his steel eyes boring into your form with a sour look lingering on his face,

"...So? Happy now? You're always pushing me around all the time... You're just gonna ignore what I want, huh?" He asked rhetorically, grumbling to himself once again before speaking, his tone becoming a bit snarky and confident,

"Yeah, well two can play that game." He walked over to you hesitantly, his face softened as he extended his arms out and embraced you. You were slightly taken back by his actions, considering the entire night he was trying to keep you at a distance, but you took this as your opportunity to see his more intimate side. You wrapped your arms around him tightly, burying your face into his course jacket. His scent was a light earthy mix of sandalwood, birch, and musk. You couldn't help but feel yourself drowning in it, feeling a sense of security washing over you as you tightened the embrace. You felt yourself slowly losing yourself more and more in him when he whispered,

"This is your fault, you know. I'm all confused. You're all I can think about, day and night."

The tension between the two of you was noticable before when you two were together. But in that moment it was thick, palpable, and almost unbearably painful. His tall, liber form towering over your smaller one showed how he had a sense of control and power over you. The way his arms tightly wrapped around your waist and how his fingers lightly touched your back was like a man starved of touch. How he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his breath heavy against your skin like was trying to hold himself back from ravaging you. The seeing him like this was intoxicating, and you craved more of it, you craved his touch and wanting to reciprocate them. But before anything could progress he let out a breath of frustration before continuing

"Dammit, this isn't how it's supposed to be..." He let go of you abruptly, still not fully willing to submit to his feelings. You fell back onto the desk for support, trying to come back to reality after be captivated and entranced from Shinjiro's touch. He looked at you with his eyes narrowed once again,

"You get it right?" You looked at him still slightly dazed and confused at his question. Though his expression didn't change, his eyes were no longer cold and stoic like before. Lust began pooling in his steel orb as he slightly backed away to keep a bit of distance between the two of you, afraid he might do something he'd regret,

"Go back to your room. If you don't go now you're not gonna get another chance."

Deep down he really didn't want you to leave, but he didn't want to put you in a situation where you felt uncomfortable or trapped. He thought it was only fair that he should give you the opportunity to leave while you still could if you wanted to. Taking a few cautious steps towards him you spoke softly,

"I'm not going anywhere." He sighed and shook his head, a slight smirk formed on his face as he glanced at the floor then back to you.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that," he chuckled to himself before signing once more. He took a step closer to you, placing his hands on your shoulders as his eyes darted to the side,

"I'm gonna make myself clear," his eyes swiftly moving back to yours with a stern expression. Looking into them you could see they were dark, drowning in lust and need. His hands began to run down your arms to the sides of your waist as he moved in closer to you. The space between growing smaller and smaller as he spoke,

"...I ain't holding back anymore." With that somewhat hesitated statement he closed the space between you with a passionate, yet needy, kiss. The fabric of his beanie brushed up against your forehead, the softness of his lips, and feeling the little bit of stubble from his chin against your skin exhilarated your senses. You snaked your arms up and around his neck to deepen the kiss, losing yourself to him once again. His hands gripped harshly at your sides, trying to keep himself somewhat grounded in the moment, never wanting it to end. The kiss began to get more heated as he guided you to his bed, slowly lowering you down onto the firm mattress. His hands moved down to your hips with hesitation, not wanting to hurt you or rush himself. Your hands ran up the back of his neck and pulled off his dark grey beanie, freeing his messy umber locks.

He nipped gently at your lower lips, causing you to slightly gasp. His tongue slipped into your mouth, causing you to moan involuntarily at his actions. He chuckled slightly to himself as he began to explore your mouth gingerly. You did your best to hold in your moans as the two wet muscles collided together. His hands pinning yours down at your sides as gently as he could while attacking the inside of your mouth with pleasure.

He pulled away for a breath, leaving a string of salvia connecting the two of you. Both of you took heavy, deep breaths as he crawled away to let you look at each another. Shinjiro's face a deep crimson red, his lips swollen, and his chest heaving, he was absolutely breathtaking. While taking in the sight of him, his eyes scanned your form, your uniform ruffled, hair falling out of its ponytail, and eyes glossy with wanton. Your hands crept up to the collar of his jacket and slowly began to unbutton down his limber frame. His breath hitched in his throat as you revealed his thin, black undershirt and letting his thick, heavy jacket slip down his arms before removing it completely. Your fingers began to creep up his shirt before he grabbed your forearms abruptly, it wasn't enough to hurt you, but enough to catch you off guard.

"What's the matter," you asked in a breath whisper. He avoided your gaze when he spoke in a low, gravel like tone,

"I-It's just, I-I've," he stumbled over his words and couldn't seem to manage to get the words out. You tenderly touched his face in reassurance,

"It's alright Shinjiro," you stated before pulling him into a loving embrace. His body tensed even more under your soft touch and you could see him grit his teeth in frustration before taking a deep breath to calm himself.

He gently took your hands into his, intertwining them as he pushed you back on into the mattress. His tall frame hovered over you as his lips lightly brushed against your neck, causing shivers to run throughout your body. You arched your back to bring yourself closer to him, pressing your body into his as his lips latched on to your neck. You knew that once morning came your neck and chest would be a painted canvas of blues and purples. Gasps and hushed moans escaped you as he began to fully remove the upper half of your uniform, leaving you with just a bra. Your skin began to flush at the vulnerability you were in, pinned under the man you just confessed to as he continued to litter your skin with no remorse. His free hand moved to the clip of your bra as he looked at you lustfully for permission, you nodded, giving him the 'go ahead' grin. He unclipped it in one swift movement, letting the straps fall down the length of your arms as he helped you take it off.

His eyes wandered to your now bare chest, a cocky grin forming on his face as he began to creep his hands towards your breasts. He gave your chest a firm squeeze, he shuddered at the feeling of the warm, plush like mound in his palms, watching you squirm under him. Your nipples hardened as he massaged your breasts with eagerness, watching your every movement. He let go of your other hand and took your hardened buds between his fingers before lightly tweaking them, earning a high pitched moan from you.

You squirmed vigorously under him while he worked his magic of your chest to the point where they felt raw and overstimulated. The way his hands caressed the hot, supple skin of your breasts made it almost impossible to wait any longer for him to take you right then and there. He grunted in arousal as he looked down at your painfully overstimulated form,

"God your tits are fucking perfect," he groaned out, strain and hesitation laced somewhere in his voice. His hands began to wander down your sides, fingers delicately ghosting over your soft skin to your skirt. His hand ruffled up the fabric, revealing your lacy underwear,

"Naughty girl," he whispered seductively as he brought his hand further down to your inner thigh, dangerously to your pulsating core. His slender fingers ran over the embroidered fabric right over your pooling heat, letting a moan slip from you as he began to gently rub against your clit. His free hand moved up to your face, looking you dead in the eyes as you began to unravel under him. Moans and squeals escaped you as his fingers continued to work slowly on your folds. The nerves overly sensitive from the stimulation drove you up the wall, the look in his eyes didn't help it either. His body tensed as his movements grew at a steady pace, his name falling off your lips as ecstacy overtook you completely.

"Shinji, more, please," you moaned out, feeling his fingers harshly pressed up again your pussy, the fabric pressing into the wet, hot flesh.

"You're doing well for me Y/N, fuck," he let out a breathy sigh as his hand harshly moved against you. You looked down to see his painfully hard member poking through his trousers. The sight of him hard for you made you even more wet for him, so much so that your underwear were soaked completely. The sound of his fingers squelching against the soaked fabric and your moans filled the room as you felt a coil building up in the pit of your stomach,

"Shinjiro, I-I," before you could finish your sentence he pulled away, his finger glistening in your slick. He brought his fingers to his lips as licked them clean,

"You taste amazing," he moaned out to you. You groaned in disappointment, wanting to feel some kind of relief from his actions. He propped himself up on his knees and hastily removed his shirt, revealing his toned, lean torso. Your eyes widened as he continued to strip down to his boxers, the sight of his messy hair, flushed skin, and lustful gaze made you squirmed in anticipation.

"You liking what you see sweetheart," he taunted. His hands teasingly played with the hem of his boxers, emphasizing his painfully pleasured state as he slowly pulled them down over his thighs, his cock springing free from the confines of the thin fabric. It was flushed a deep crimson, the veins protruding throughout his length, and a bit of precum dribbling from the tip. His breath was shallow as he crawled over to you like a rabid animal, his self control dwindling faster than you could react to it,

"I can't wait anymore," he grumbled out.

"I want to feel that perfect puss wrapped around me. I want to feel you writhing beneath me while I fuck you senseless. I want to feel how perfect you really truly are," he whimpered out to you.

He forcefully spread your legs and pulled off your underwear, leaving you in your ruffled up skirt, open and vulnerable under him. His grumbles and groans were feral like as he gave his cock a few pumps before bringing his lips to your ear,

"You ready babygirl," his breath ragged and needy. You nodded,

"Yes Shinji, please," you pleaded.

That's all he needed to hear before lining himself up at your entrance and slowly thrusting into you. A relief filled moan poured off your tongue and into the space of his room as his cock stretched your walls. He let a hesitant groan out, just above a whisper he cursed,

"Fuck," it was long and drawn out as he began to move. He was gentle with each thrust he drew in and out of you. His hand gently gripped at your wrists, pinning them above your head to get a full view of what was beneath him.

Your face red, eyes squeezed shut, and contorted in pleasure as you swallowed his cock as he slowly pounded into you. It felt amazing, the way he stretched you out, the way his breath felt against your neck, and especially how his touch was so sweet and gentle. But there was something he was holding back, you could feel it in your gut. Something about the way he held you felt strained, it was similar to the way he gripped your wrists earlier, strained and a bit unorthodox, like he wasn't entirely sure of himself. You opened your eyes to look up at him, a few locks of hair falling in his face, his mouth slightly agape, and eyes completely dark and drunk off of thr lust coursing through his body.

"Fuck Shinji," you squealed out, feeling his grip on your wrists tighten harshly and his pace quicken, not realizing how he reacted to your sinful response. You moaned out in surprise at the sudden change in his demeanor, getting a glimpse of what he was holding back from you. His gripped tightened even more and his thrust became more aggressive, causing your moans and squeals to become more high pitched and abrupt. He was so completely lost in his arousal and need for you his aggressive side began to truly shows itself, in that moment he showed you what he really wanted to do to you, how he wanted to please you as well as himself.

"Fuck," you semi screamed out to him. After hearing you, he caught himself and began to slow his pace. His grip on your wrist loosened as he spoke,

"Fuck Y/N, I'm sorry, I got a little carried away. I didn't hurt you did I?" His tone was sweet and genuine as he looked into your eyes with remorse. You smiled to him and kissed his cheek,

"No Shinji, if I'm being honest, I kinda liked what you were doing before. Please, please don't stop," you moaned sweetly to him as your hands wandered to his back. Surprise fell on his face for a moment, but was taken over by a lustful grin as he snapped his hips harshly against yours.

"If that's what you want, then I'll give it to you." You squealed in response to his roughness and pleasure began to course through you once again. His pace was rough and a bit sporadic as loud, needy groans filled the room. You continued to squeal and moan for him and he roughly held your wrist down into the pillow above your head,

"Yes Shinji, fuck, feels so good," you panted out, slowly getting drunk off the feeling of his cock destroying your overstimulated pussy. You felt the coil building up in your stomach again as his pace picked up even more than before and his grip was as firm as ever,

"You look so pretty like this. Shaking and and crying out for me," he gritted in-between his teeth. His grunts and groans began to fall out in ragged, needy whimpers. He was losing himself to the feeling of you squeezed around him, his cock sliding in and out of you effortlessly. You were completely gone at that point, drunk off him and everything he was doing to you. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, saliva dribbling down your chin, and your body limp for him to use however he saw fit.

Although he would never actually hurt you, sure he was a bit aggressive in thr moment, hut if he were to cause you any harm whatsoever he wouldn't ever forgive himself for it. It was just about his pleasure, it was for the both of you, he wanted to make you to feel good. Looking into your eyes, he saw how you had come completely undone for him,

"You're so beautiful baby, so perfect for me," he mumbled out. He wasn't going to last much longer in that state. His cock now thrusting unforgivingly in and out of you, drowning in your slick. The grip on your wrists never faltered, you knew there'd be lovely little marks from them in the morning. The coil in your stomach grew with each passing second and each thrust it threaded to break,

"Shinji please, I'm not gonna last any longer," you begged him. He knew what you was asking for, but he wasn't ready for her to finish yet, he wanted to finish with you. He moved his hands away from your wrists and gently cupped your kissing your forward tenderly, despite his rough, animalistic like motions.

"Please baby, just a little longer, can you wait just little longer for me," the pleads dripped off and out of him like amber. You gave him a half nod, you were coherent enough to hear his request, but whether you could follow through or not would be a challenge.

He kissed you passionately, both your lips pink and swollen as he pulled away for air. You didn't understand stand how it was possible, but he somehow managed to go even faster and harder than before. The sounds of moaning, whimpers, squeals, and the slapping of skin filled the room. You were sure other students heard you, but you didn't care, all you cared about in that moment was him, Shinjiro, claiming you as his own, and him as yours.

You could tell he was almost there, edging himself closer to his climax as he gaze was set on you. You were a mess, your hair come completely undone from its ribbon, sweat lightly coated your brow, and your skin a rosy, peony pink. Not to mention the slick that shamelessly covered your thighs and milked his cock, want to give him his sweet release. Your hands crept to his back and you dug your nails into his skin,

"Yes fuck. Oh God, Shinjiro, yes just like that," you whimpered under him. He was hitting a spit that made you absolutely cry and scream for him. You couldn't hold yourself from cumming anymore, not after finding that special little spot.

"I'm gonna cum Shinjiro," you cried, tears spilling from your eyes as you felt the rush approaching you, like waves over a rocky shore.

"Fuck, cum with me baby," he grunted out as he felt you spasm around his cock before pulling out of you, spurting white, thick ropes on to your stomach. He let out a few relieved moans as he finished, pumping out what little cum he had left in him. Both of you took a few moments to catch your breath, coming down from your high you looked at him lovingly, even in his disheveled state, he was really was the most beautiful man you'd ever seen. His chest rose and fell in heavy breaths, looking at you with admiration. Your stomach covered in his cum, drool covered your chin, and exhaustion settling in over your body. He stood up from the bed and went over to his desk, pulling open a drawer and grabbing a few tissues to clean him and yourself with.

After you were both clean, he put his beanie back on and got you in one of his T-shirts before cuddling up to you in his bed. He wrapped his arms around you tightly while you gently laid on his chest, playing with a few strands of his hair. He smiled to himself while looking down at you, sleep threatening to captivate you as he spoke,

"...If this is how things are gonna between us, I think I might stick around for a while," his tone was a bit monotoned, but he meant what he said. He kissed your forehead gently before speaking again,

"I love you." You almost didn't hear him from your tired condition, but thankfully you heard him well enough to respond,

"I love you too Shinjiro, I always have. And I always will," you said sleepily as you continued to play with his hair until your felt yourself drift to sleep. He chuckled to himself quietly, feeling that he wasn't too far behind you,

"I'm holding you to that." With those few words he fell asleep with you in his arms.

#persona 3 portable #shinjiro aragaki #p3 shinjiro #Shinjiro x reader #anime x reader smut #Shinjiro x reader smut #persona x reader

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ipatrichor · 2 months ago

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my thoughts on dead boy detectives after watching episode one

okay first of all i gotta say i love the vibe. two ghosty boys running around solving cases and helping trapped spirits move on? that's so fun i love them

tbh. i don't know whats going on btween these two if it's platonic romantic whatever and i don't think any distinction can be drawn that matters. maybe that's the aro in me but they are each other's most important person and who cares about the semantics!!!

charles trying to get edwin to learn self-defense is very sweet. however i will say girl how has this not happened sooner. you literally just got chased through london by a knife ghost and your next case involves fistfighting a possessed psychic Please learn to throw a punch minimum. i would say learning how to fall properly is more important but it's not like they can get more dead. so.

unless they go to the afterlife or something i guess? interesting stakes, especially with the lady from the end of the episode who's looking for them. also the scene hanging outside the window was very sweet, with edwin promising he won't let them get separated. at this point i think it could go either way whether that was to establish their dynamic or to foreshadow, so we'll have to wait and see if the promise holds, but either way very touching moment

crystal my girl crystal!!!! i love her so much holy shit she is so messy!!!! i love love love her getting angry about her shitty situation bc. yeah! that's scary as hell having amnesia bc ur literal demon ex stole your memories and she's got no one except the boys, one of whom very openly doesn't want her around. that's really rough and i Love that she blows up at them about it in a moment of extreme stress instead of being unnaturally chill about an objectively awful situation like many mystical characters (especially when they're women)

anyway i think crystal should get a knife and stabbing privileges. she'd for sure misuse them but i think it'd be funny

edwin is so real for the 70 years in hell thing. girl if i was in the torture dimension for SEVEN DECADES i'd be awful to everyone, it's actually impressive that he restrains himself to being a petty bitch. good for him tbh, i think he's earned the snark. don't get me wrong it's unhelpful and sometimes downright mean, but it's also funny so i'm letting it slide

the witch... esther i think? god what do i say about her. ok im first gonna start with this: she's fucking chilling, it's so scary watching her body the group with ease until charles basically hail-marys and possesses her AND EVEN THEN it's for less than a minute til she forces him out!! it feels like encountering the bbeg when your party is level five- you know you can't touch her and have to play the situation carefully so she doesn't just end you, and the win is getting away with a different objective (here saving the kid) while knowing she's gonna be actively hostile to you now. scary stuff!

idk if this is the popular opinion or not but i just don't find her hot 😭 like yeah she's serving incredible cunt, but her awful pta mom energy keeps that from being attractive. idk if it's the mommy issues but i would feel unsafe and constantly judged in her presence which is usually a dealbreaker for me finding people hot. sorry ma'am i deeply respect your vibe and the cunt you serve i would just avoid u like hell if u were real

the whole snake in a bone dimension in her cupboard is pretty cool though, and i love that her blowing smoke in people's faces isn't just a power play but a paralytic that's So clever

any other thoughts.... the girl with long hair is pretty, and that interaction with crystal has me wondering if the show got cancelled for lesbianism. i feel like maybe not? idk, if it was the start of a relationship that seems weirdly at odds with the tone of the rest of the show, so im leaning more towards crystal was picking up a weird psychic vibe from her that might be important later. who knows though!! i'll just have to find out haha

anyway i got sucked back into reading a novel but i should get caught up on that sometime today and then it's on to episode two, lol. very interested to find out what's up with the cat's vague ominous warning and what esther's gonna do when she finds out they rescued the kid she kidnapped

#pat.txt #pat watches dbd #idk if im gonna do this for every episode but here's a tag anyway #im having a good time! it's a fun show & i like the characters and their dynamics #they actually feel like friends which is always a treat #dead boy detectives

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fangirleaconmigo · 1 year ago

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Hi! Sorry to bother you but I'm currently looking for like 4 different fics, which are all geraskier:

- The first takes place after the mountain breakup and Jaskier encounters another Witcher, who I believe is Lambert?? Basically he becomes Lambert's new travel companion, even creating some new songs for him. He eventually takes Jaskier to the keep, which Geralt is at as well, and they just kind of try to make Geralt jealous, even going as far as to pretend they had sex in the room next to him. Yeah, he's hurt... but they work through it.

- the second I'm not sure when it takes place, but Jaskier had died. It's a non-human/creature Jaskier. He sprouts up in the middle of a field and basically begins wandering around. we follow him as he goes through this and begins to relearn everything he once knew. There's a scene where he (unintentionally) terrorizes a family at a camp, and as they flee, the father feels for Jask, despite him being well... a monstrous being.

- The third one is kind of a modern au. Since witchers get to live long, he and the rest of the gang (including Ciri, Yen, Regis, etc.) have just lived through everything until the 21st century. Jaskier, having been mortal, died a long time ago. But recently, his body had gone missing. Julian is a professor, I believe he's a uh History professor? Nonetheless, all i remember is that Roach is a van and they got hunted by vampires at some point. I think Geralt owns a villa at a town in which Yen is the mayor. Julian's parents do NOT like Geralt because he's a witcher.

- The last i believe is an established relationship fic. But basically, Jaksier is hit with a curse or something, but it's causing him to age backwards now. So of course this leads to him forgetting about Geralt. That's just kind of it, they're trying to enjoy the time they have left with each other and their memories. It ends when Jaskier turns 18 once again, the same age at which he met Geralt.

Anyway thank you sm and I'm very sorry about the incredibly long ask 😬 (you very much do not need to answer)

Hi Nonny,

I'm going to put this out there for my followers. None of those sound like any fics I've read (shockingly enough, because I've read a lot of fics) so I'm hoping someone else can ask. They sound very cool though. (Jaskier growing in a field? I want to know what that one is)

Also, I'm tagging in @wren-of-the-woods for the last one, because they love fics with curses, so maybe they can help with that one.

#asks #fic search

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cloudinterlude · 2 years ago

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Would you like to describe the personality of Howard Stark? And understand what kind of person he really is. I think he is hiding behind a mask... (sorry, english is not my native language)

Hi! First of all, no need for apologies, I get what you're asking! <3 <3 Long post ahead!

So, as it is known, I really like Howard for similar reasons why I like Tony. They're scarily similar and I can never stop thinking how much Tony would not like to hear that. I have a few Howard posts where I describe what I think of him here, here, and here mainly. Anyways, onwards!

See, there are different Howards to consider here. The one we see in CATFA and Agent Carter and the one we hear about from Tony, Fury, ect. I like talking about Agent Carter Howard the most because he's just so interesting.

Is he wearing a mask to hide his true emotions? The fastest answer is yes, but I think it's more complicated than that. It's that questions (something I sometime apply to Tony as well) "How long does it take for the mask become who you truly are?" Because there reaches a point where the person you constantly project isn't just a coverup. I think Howard's bravado, occasionally asshole-ish ways, womanizing, deceit, ect - all those less savory aspects are a piece of who he is, but it's not all he is of course. He has a ton of great qualities, usually shown in his friendships.

I've said before that I think Howard is an incredibly fractured character. I think he knows exactly what he's feeling most of the time, but never knows how to deal with the emotions he feels. He's obsessive to the point of self-destruction, and when he does self-destruct (or ends up hurting other people), he feels incredible amounts of guilt that never fully goes away. Instead, he uses that guilt to fuel his next project that will surely fix all his problems (until it actually ends up causing more messes).

I don't want to woobify Howard because I don't think that's what's going on with him. I do think he shield his emotions from others - not really from himself, but he does dampen them. I don't think Howard knows how to process heavy amounts of feelings in a proper way. Unless he's cornered, run down and essentially forced to. And he does have a few vulnerable moments we see in Agent Carter. When Peggy confronts him about lying about Steve's blood (he breaks down, basically declares his love for Steve, and talks about how deceit is how he was able to get anywhere due to his origins), when the villain captures him and threatens to blow New York to shreds (he tells them that they can do whatever they want to him and begs them to leave innocent people out of it), when we hear about what happened when the military got their hands on his failed experiment (he punches the guy in charge and locks up all his more dangerous inventions), the plane scene (Howard feels immense guilt over Steve crashing and dying, and desperately wants to find him and bring him home). These are all moments of genuineness we get from him...albeit moments where there is no other option but to be vulnerable. Regardless, this is 1000% mask off, last ditch effort Howard and I love that.

Of course there's like, an incredibly huge gap between Agent Carter Howard and the Howard we hear and see from Tony, Fury, ect. I suspect that Howard did undergo a pretty dark change in how he conducted himself sue to various things...starting with being the head of SHIELD during the end of WW2-Cold War. Could you imagine? Lol. And we already established that Howard doesn't deal with guilt well. In fact, I'd say that when it came to him taking "necessary sacrifices" he probably shut down his more...inconvenient emotions off as long as he could before he drunk himself into a stupor...then onto the next day.

When it comes to Howard and his family, specifically Tony, well, I don't think there's much I can say that I haven't already said. Howard loved Tony. Howard missed Tony when he wasn't there (Maria's words). Howard was also a bad father because he neglected Tony. Howard saw a kid that was too similar to himself and that seemed to be one of his biggest fears going by what he said in Endgame. I don't think he knew what to do with that whatsoever. Maybe he thought the less he had to do with him, the less Tony would turn out like him. Maybe he thought he could cut down the influence. Maybe all the dark things he's seen, done, ordered, ignored convinced him that he had nothing to offer in being a father, or that he'd make Tony worse. Maybe he thought Obie, Maria and Jarvis had Tony set straight well enough. Who knows really. Every loving thing Howard has said about Tony was told to Tony by a third party (Fury, Maria).

Howard is kind of an enigma, except not really. We don't know specifics, but it's so easy to put together his character with canon, context clues and US history. I like Howard, a whole lot. I don't get many opportunities to talk about him unprovoked so thanks for this ask!

#sometimes I wished I knew how to insert gifs on this site to illustrate my points better #anyways #howard stark #trash gremlin stark #agent carter #post office #thank you anon

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ambersock · 1 year ago

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This is just a silly little idea that wouldn't leave my head, but do you think dean took on the mark of cain as a way to keep sam with him? like maybe he didnt want to apologise because then he'd have to face how much sam was hurt by the gadreel possession, so he does something reckless by taking on the moc from the actual living Cain (i acknowledge it was also to help with the first blade to kill abaddon) so maybe when sam hears that his brother has this dangerous mark on him now, maybe he would stop being angry at him and move past that to be concerned about dean and the consequences of taking a mark from the first murderer. so he comes back to dean and he doesnt have to worry about sam being angry enough to leave him

Thanks for the ask @mostlybbucky!

Because of the timeline of events, I don’t think that was Dean’s motivation for taking the MoC. Remember in 9x10 Road Trip, it was Dean’s decision to leave Sam immediately after he expelled Gadreel: “…But I'll find Gadreel. And I will end that son of a bitch. But I'll do it alone.”

Long meta below.

The first scene in the very next episode, 9x11 First Born, is when Crowley finds Dean feeling sorry for himself in a bar (not going after Gadreel), and he enlists Dean’s help to find the first blade to eliminate Abaddon. This happens before Sam and Dean reunite and Sam tries to establish a new balance of power as equals, and before Sam tells Dean that he would not have forced Dean into something that Dean found unacceptable in order to save him. Given Dean’s track record of making incredibly bad decisions when faced with his own failings (e.g. selling his soul for failing as Sam’s protector), I’m inclined to believe that he made a power grab for the MoC to distract himself from his own guilt as opposed to doing something healthy like, for instance, changing his own behavior and respecting Sam’s boundaries.

That being said, I certainly think that the MoC arc was the writers’ intention to get the audience to forget about Dean’s transgressions against Sam and swing sympathy (and the power dynamic) back in favor of Dean. Sam clearly had the moral high ground and was right to be angry and right to demand a change in their dynamic, and for a hot moment it looked like maybe he was finally going to get that. But the writers just couldn't have it. And I can’t really blame them, because who really wants to watch a Supernatural where Sam and Dean actually have a healthy relationship? I just wish they hadn't gone overboard with the Poor Dean propaganda to the point where they mangled everything Sam said to make him look like a villain for having completely justifiable feelings.

#sam and dean meta #s9 meta #MoC #ask

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themortuatorium · 2 years ago

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The Nice and Presumptive Observations of Me (Fan)

Hi there, we’ve never met. I’m definitely not new to me, but I’m new to you. I first read Good Omens ~2007. When the first season of the show came out, I wasn’t really floating around in its fandom space; now, on the approaching dawn of season two prompting a fourth rewatch (and third reread) out of me, I’ve decided to show up fashionably late and turn in an essay nobody asked for discussing probably nothing new to you, but new to me.

All of what I have to say deals with the first half of episode 3, sorry. It just does so much, laying the groundwork for Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship. I’m dying to talk about it.

If you’re interested, or are just looking for anything to procrastinate with, then I hope I’ve at least made a discourse[1] that’s compelling to look at. It certainly is long.

[1] The philosophical essay kind.

ST JAMES PARK (1862) -

What gets to me most about this scene, in particular, is the layers of implication surrounding the word “insurance” coming from Crowley. I think it’s an incredible use of subtly (if intentional). Because insurance against demons, sure, we as the audience are informed of this knowledge based on context clues elsewhere or from having read the book. They both understand what they’re doing is incredibly frowned upon. It is more than that. He’s looking for proof that Aziraphale would stick his neck out for him.

Up to that point, it’s always been Crowley going through the trouble for Aziraphale. Even when making suggestions to benefit the both of them, it’s considerate of Aziraphale. Including cut scenes from the script book, Crowley goes blatantly out of his way to protect Aziraphale twice (Paris, and the 1800’s bookshop scene). Intentionally, I would hope, we don’t see any instances outright of Aziraphale doing the same thing for Crowley because it’s meant to make a point about what sort of dance the two are fighting with. While it would be ridiculous to assume Aziraphale has never done anything to help Crowley in all that time; during a waltz, someone has to lead.

So, it’s centuries already of Crowley treating it like a mutual relationship, certainly in some way aware of the imbalance, and it culminates with the request for holy water. He wants insurance from Aziraphale that he views their relationship the same way. Something mutual, unique to them, “their side”.

If you even wanted to view it as something poetic, gentle, even romantic, it wouldn’t be far-fetched to assume Crowley might be looking for proof their time together meant something human. They both clearly believe that to be human carries a greater value to being ethereal. The idea that time is so precious to humans, because a human lifespan is so limited, turns the concept of time into a metaphorical effigy of one’s love and dedication for having given it.

It’s what makes the boiling of their relationship down to the word “fraternizing” so genuinely painful; not because it’s a rude and blatant disregard for the dance they’ve been engaged in all these years, because it says to Crowley even after all this time (to 1862) Aziraphale doesn’t understand him as well as he understands Aziraphale.

As well as he believes he understands Aziraphale.

[MOSTLY] PARIS (1793) -

Science has proven at least one angel can dance, because he’s been taught.

“They said I’d performed too many frivolous miracles” addresses what the audience would also be wondering in that moment. On its own, it can even serve as a funny joke about the bureaucratic structure of a capitalistic Heaven, where the motto is “miracles are what we do”[2]. It also prompts one to ask “why”, what does a frivolous amount of miracles mean to represent?

Interpreting it as an expression of guilt has larger implications about Aziraphale as a whole. One establishing his character as being surreptitious, especially when contextualizing the guilt next to his and Crowley’s Arrangement.

Because it doesn’t take 1250 years[3] to convince an angel the signature on the paperwork is all that separates a miracle from a temptation. That’s a ridiculous amount of time to spend on what would basically be asking to carpool, and would be strange to feel guilty about on its own.

They both know – the show knows – it’s more intimate than that. In an unspoken language they began creating in 33AD, Aziraphale understands the Arrangement is Crowley’s offer of insight into a perspective he himself cannot have without falling. Aziraphale is, continuously, one of the most compelling angels Crowley has met – on Earth, of yet – and he doesn’t want that aspect of him to change. He actively seeks out Aziraphale’s company for it. Being given the opportunity of the Arrangement, and yet still occupying a seat among the spheres, must be something Aziraphale recognizes as unfair. To humanity; to Crowley.

When Aziraphale used his wing to shield Crowley from the oncoming rain, there was enough room to cover Adam and Eve in the distance. All four of them aligned equally against the horizon.

[2] Perhaps not in any official capacity, but in a Mean Girl’s “fetch” kind of way.

[3] I presume, inferring the gap of 537AD to anytime nearly before 1601 was primarily spent chipping away at Aziraphale’s resolve. The extra 200 years is from 1601 to 1793.

THE BLITZ (1941) -

Reading in the stage directions how Aziraphale and Crowley haven’t spoken since St. James is enough to make a guy[4] write a three page analytic, placing it at the climax. Aziraphale “realizing they’re still friends”, at the same time, has the same guy appreciating the work done setting this moment up. If it wasn’t meant to be symbolic of a marriage between their ideologies after all this time, then I’m fresh out of other rationale for putting it in the church to begin with.

Especially when done how it was: Crowley arriving late to essentially his own wedding, with the opposite of cold feet. Making it the one time, albeit unwittingly, Aziraphale is the first to show up for their relationship. In character, it’s all unintentionally. Artistically, they are two people eager to move their relationship along in this moment. When the bomb drops on the church, it’s a metaphorical leveling of the playing field between them[5]. A separation of themselves from their former identities, a closure of the ceremony. By dressing them nearly identical, in the aftermath of the church, they are equal.

Crowley first reinvented his identity in 33AD, as both he and Aziraphale stand in reverence of the crucifixion’s magnitude. Though the use of the crucifix props as church rubble was a practical decision made for budget reasons, it’s a beautiful coincidence that a significant moment of Crowley’s growth, so inextricably tied to Aziraphale, made itself relevant to Aziraphale during the Blitz.

It reinforces – by coincidence – the interpretation of their conversation in 33AD being what alters their dichotomy in 41AD, where Aziraphale is first to pursue Crowley’s companionship. It rationalizes his ongoing commitment in learning how to dance.

He doesn’t fall in love[6] with Crowley over saving the books; he falls in love with the idea of them.

Or just falling in love with how metal it is to kill nazi’s as part of your metaphorical wedding symbology, why complicate it.

[4] Me, I’m the guy.

[5] In addition to being historically accurate.

[6] According to Michael Sheen; hard for me to disagree, either. I kept trying, and by the time I got to this point in the essay it was fucking impossible.

SOHO (1967) – THE LAST POINT TO THE REST OF THIS POST

“After everything you said” is only an odd comment to make at someone, who never said much to begin with, until you give “fraternizing” the weight of a 6000 year old mountain.

“You go too fast for me” is only a double entendre when taking the time to consider that Crowley approached their conversation in 1862 as someone who’s been in both their shoes before, unaware of how inconsiderate to Aziraphale’s unique position he’d been with his proposal.

A 70 year long silent treatment shows how little someone still understands you, how little you understand yourself, when neither can’t tell you’re obsessed at the idea of losing them, despite saying it so clearly in your unspoken language. A worry that won’t change for as long as Crowley remains a demon.

Holy water is still a threat on the most important thing in the world to Aziraphale when he finally decides to hand it over. The difference now, to then, is he gets it after everything during the Blitz. That is kind of the whole point episode three built up to. The holy water is their relationship: a potential threat, against everything they’re trying to maintain. If neither of them is perfectly careful, their relationship could eternally wipe away the chance to share each other’s time, and bring themselves closer to being human.

It’s an agreement that their relationship can’t, and won’t, destroy what’s important to them by nature of just existing.

They literally just need to learn how to dance.

AFTERWORD -

Did you know this was needlessly long? Three whole pages. It’s a soliloquy on how my love for what the series adds to Aziraphale and Crowley by deviating from the book, I had no other reason for writing it. Nothing prompted this deluge of personal sentiment. I just wanted to see the conversation get had in 2023 and I’m better at analytical essays than I am at fanfic.

Isn’t that remarkable? We live in a world where anyone can go on a three page, unprompted college dissertation about whatever kind of love it is two eternal beings express in the dumbest ways possible towards each other, and it’s time well spent. Season 2 could happen any day now and invalidate half my points made, who cares, nobody wants that to happen more than me, actually.

Thanks for reading! No clue who would, but I like to think sometimes words get read on the internet. The place is full of them, after all.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #me drafting: i will not imply they are romantically in love #me halfway into writing: they literally cant not be in love i'll fucking die on this hill #i have a SICKNESS #for DECADES ive loved what aziraphale and crowley have i could write a whole book #the philosophy of good omens by me a guy THE guy

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relative-dimension · 2 years ago

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“Flashpoint”

Season 2, episode 9 - 26th December 1964

[id: Jenny and Barbara watch as the Doctor stands at the controls of a scanner, the screen of which displays static. The Doctor is saying “Can I do anything with this scanner?” /end id]

The way in which the first ever companion exit is handled is really interesting. By the time we get a few Doctors in, the formula for both regenerations and companion exist becomes fairly established, with either a choice to leave the Doctor behind, after which the Doctor is sad, or a dramatic death in the climax of the story, after which the Doctor is sad. Here, though, half an episode is dedicated to the slow build-up towards that speech which has been deemed iconic enough to be representative of Hartnell for The Five Doctors.

The decision is also not strictly Susan’s, although to say that Dr Who forces her out or leaves her behind would be misrepresenting things - Susan and David’s relationship has actually been built up over the implied time which passes over this serial (I don’t know how long it takes to walk from London to the Daleks’ mine, but it can’t be that fast) and it’s clear from the way she acts during this that while she wants to keep travelling with what’s implied to be the only family and connection to her own culture that she has, as a teenager she also needs some sort of stability in her life, and David could provide part of that, along with the rebuilding of the planet. It’s a shame that the show has never returned to the promise that “one day, I will come back” (although I’m sure it’s been done several times in Big Finish and with books etc) and also immediately taking on another teen girl does make it a little less impactful, but really this is a very effective exit.

Also it makes me excited because next episode is Vicki’s debut, and she’s genuinely one of my favourite companions in the whole show. Sorry Susan lovers.

Fun: 4/5

Production: 3/5, there were shades of it in the last episode of their first story, but this episode’s climax takes the hilariously easy defeat of Daleks to a whole new level.

Pacing: 2/5, because Susan’s exit takes so long, the end to the Dalek plot happens incredibly quickly and slightly out of nowhere, they just decide that one of Barbara’s failed plans from last episode will actually work this time.

Character Writing & Use: 4/5, in fact, the ending is so rushed that Susan doesn’t even get any scenes until her exit. This may have been due to production issues or scheduling during shooting (I didn’t check lol) but it does make her exit a bit of a shock when she was barely present earlier, however I think the strength of that scene makes me forget about that, I think it’s really good.

Depth: 3/5, as much as it makes little narrative sense and strips the Daleks of a lot of their menace very quickly, the defeat of the Daleks through mass resistance to their attempts at control could say something about antifascism if you squint. More significantly, though, Susan’s exit is much more character and theme driven than the often plot-based exits of many of her successors.

Not Ageing Horribly: 3/5, Susan does begin a somewhat irritating trend of female companions who get married off to side characters for no particular reason at the end of their contracts. That being said, this is much less shit than the other times that’s been done, since with Peri that was a last-minute retcon when it’s a miracle that episode ever got made, and with Leela they weren’t even sure she’d be leaving then, whereas here it’s clearly threaded through the story, and other reasons are given.

Overall Score - 19/30

#doctor who #dw #dw review #first doctor #ian chesterton #barbara wright #susan foreman #daleks #companion exit #season 2 #16-20

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vatt-world · 1 month ago

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Act 1: Establishing the Connection Scene 13: Bill Meets Amy (Street/NYC Café – Day) (Bill is walking down a busy NYC street and runs into Amy.)

Bill: Amy? Is that you?

Amy: Bill! It’s been so long!

Bill: (Laughs) Yeah, how’ve you been?

Amy: Good. Busy, as usual. it’s crazy running into you like this!

Bill: Yep, same here. You?

Amy: Actually, I’m working on a musical project. Want to grab a coffee and catch up sometime later ?

Bill: Sure, let’s do it.

amy i will text u .

Scene: Amy and Bill Visit an Art Exhibit (Art Gallery – Evening) (Amy and Bill walk through an art gallery, looking at abstract paintings.)

Amy: I don’t get these paintings. Just random colors.

Bill: (Laughs) Maybe chaos is the art.

Amy: (Smirking) Says the guy writing a solo show about chaos.

Bill: (Touching his chest, mock hurt) Hey, my chaos has meaning!

Amy: (Laughs) Glad we’re having fun, away from auditions for once.

Bill: (Nods) Yeah, we needed this.

Scene 14: Amy and Bill Discuss the Hindi Musical (Street/Café – Day) (The next day, Amy and Bill are seated at a cozy café booth.)

Amy: The musical I’m working on has bollywood influences. It’s about finding hope in chaos.

Bill: Sounds amazing. I’d love to audition!

Amy: You’d be perfect for it.

Bill: (Smiling) Thanks. I’m also working on something—a solo show.

Amy: Really? What’s it about?

Bill: It’s my story as an actor—the ups and downs. Still rough, but I want it to be raw.

Amy: I love it. Let me know if you need help.

Bill: I will. And I’ll love to read your musical script too.

(They clink coffee mugs, smiling.)

Scene 6: Collaborative Scriptwork (Studio Space – Day) (Amy and Bill are in a studio, working on the musical script.) Bill: (Applauding) That was incredible, Amy.

Amy: (Smiling) Thanks. It’s the opening song for the musical.

Bill: It’s powerful. Maybe hold the last note longer.

Bill: (Pointing to a line) What if we use “Dil se” here instead of “From the heart”?

Amy: Good idea. More authentic.

Bill: How’s it going with the musical?

Amy: Act 2 needs work, but it’s getting there. What about your solo show?

Bill: Slow progress. I want it to be personal but relatable.

Amy: You’ll get there. Let’s keep pushing each other.

Bill: Deal.

////

Act 2: Bonding and Tension Scene: Amy and Bill Discuss Rejection Over Drinks (Bar – Evening) (Amy and Bill sit at a bar, sharing drinks.)

Bill: And then they said, "You’re not what we’re looking for." No explanation.

Amy: (Laughs) Classic. They love keeping it vague.

Bill: You make it sound easy, but it’s not.

Amy: No, it’s tough. But your solo show gives you control.

Bill: Yeah, but I feel like I’m trying to prove myself all the time.

Amy: That’s why it matters, Bill. Keep at it.

Bill: (Softly) Thanks, Amy.

Scene 44: Bill and Amy Catch Up (Coffee Shop – Day) (Bill and Amy sit at a cozy coffee shop.)

Amy: How’s the solo show?

Bill: Slow. It’s not coming together like I imagined.

Amy: It’s always messy in the beginning. Keep pushing.

Bill: I will. How’s the musical?

Amy: Struggling with the ending, but I’ll get there.

Bill: You always do.

Scene 7: Rehearsal and Argument (Theater – Afternoon) (Amy and Bill are rehearsing a scene from the musical.)

Bill: We need more here—props, maybe LED screens.

Amy: No, it’s about authenticity, not spectacle.

Bill: But we need to attract an audience.

Amy: I won’t compromise the message.

Bill: (Sighs) I just don’t want to fail.

Amy: We need balance, Bill.

Scene 8: Confronting Fallout (NYC Street – Day) (Amy and Bill walk down a busy NYC street, tension still present.)

Amy: Why didn’t you tell me you were struggling?

Bill: I didn’t want you to think it was just about the money. I have debts, family issues…

Amy: I get it, but we can’t let this ruin everything.

Bill: I know. I’m sorry.

Amy: Me too. Let’s fix this together.

Scene: Amy Shares Her Own Doubts (Riverside Park – Day) (Amy and Bill walk through Riverside Park.)

Amy: Sometimes, I doubt if I can pull off this musical.

Bill: You’re the most talented person I know, Amy. Don’t doubt yourself now.

Amy: It feels bigger than me.

Bill: That’s what makes it worth doing. You’re not alone—I’m here.

Amy: (Smiling) Thanks, Bill.

Bill: We’ll make this work.

/////

Act 3: Rekindling Hope and Partnership Scene: Amy Helps Bill Rehearse (Amy’s Apartment – Day) (Bill is pacing in Amy’s living room, trying to perform a monologue from his solo show.)

Amy: You’re holding back, Bill. Feel the words.

Bill: (Frustrated) It’s not coming out right.

Amy: Close your eyes. Think of your most vulnerable moment, then try again.

Bill: (Takes a deep breath, delivers a more intense performance)

Amy: That’s it. That’s what you need.

Bill: (Relieved) Thanks, Amy.

Scene: Amy Introduces Bill to Her Producer Friend (Café – Day) (Amy and Bill sit across from a producer at a café.)

Producer: I’m not sure this fits what we’re looking for.

Bill: (Disappointed) Got it. Thanks for your time.

(The producer leaves, and Bill looks deflated.)

Amy: Don’t worry. We’ll find the right person.

Bill: Feels like I’m just hitting walls.

Amy: It’s just a detour, not a dead end.

Bill: (Smiles) Thanks for sticking by me.

Scene: Amy and Bill Visit an Art Exhibit (Art Gallery – Evening) (Amy and Bill wander through an art gallery.)

Amy: These paintings just look like random colors.

Bill: (Laughs) Sometimes chaos is the art.

Amy: (Smiling) You and your solo show about chaos.

Bill: (Mock hurt) Hey, my chaos has meaning!

Amy: (Laughs) Glad we’re taking a break from all the stress.

Bill: (Nods) Yeah, we needed this.

Scene 45: Bill Shows Amy the Theater (Small Theater – Day) (Bill takes Amy to a small, intimate theater.)

Bill: This is where I’ll do my solo show.

Amy: (Looking around, smiling) It’s perfect. It’s got heart, just like your story.

Bill: You really think so?

Amy: Absolutely. You’re going to own this stage.

Bill: (Smiling) Thanks, Amy.

Scene 75: Bill with Amy – Promenade – Night (Support System Solidified) (Amy and Bill walk along Brooklyn Promenade, gazing at the skyline.)

Bill: Feels like I’m still far from where I want to be.

Amy: Look how far you’ve come. You built something from scratch.

Bill: It’s hard not to feel behind.

Amy: You’re moving forward, even if it’s slow. We’re in this together.

Bill: (Touched) Thanks, Amy. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Scene: Amy and Bill Share a Quiet Moment (Small Theater – Night) (Bill and Amy sit in an empty theater, looking at the stage.)

Amy: It’s surreal how much we’ve done.

Bill: Sometimes I wonder if it’s all worth it.

Amy: It is. The struggle makes the victory sweeter.

Bill: (Smiling) You’re right. I’m glad we stuck with it.

Amy: Me too. No matter what happens, I’m proud of us.

Bill: (Softly) Me too.

(They sit quietly, appreciating how far they’ve come.)

////////////////////

Act 3: Rekindling Hope and Partnership Scene: Amy Helps Bill Rehearse (Amy’s Apartment – Day) (Bill is pacing in Amy’s living room, attempting to perform a monologue from his solo show. He’s visibly tense.)

Amy: (Watching closely) You’re holding back, Bill. You need to let go and really connect with the words.

Bill: (Frustrated) I’m trying, but I just can’t seem to get it right.

Amy: (Stepping forward) Close your eyes. Picture the moment that makes you feel the most vulnerable. Now, say the lines again.

Bill: (Takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, then delivers the monologue with more intensity)

Amy: (Nods, satisfied) That’s it, Bill. That’s what I’m talking about.

Bill: (Exhales, relieved) Thanks, Amy. I needed that push.

Amy: (Smiling) You’ve got this. You just have to trust yourself.

Scene: Amy and Bill Visit an Art Exhibit (Art Gallery – Evening) (Amy and Bill wander through an art gallery, taking in abstract paintings.)

Amy: (Laughing) I never understand half of these paintings. It’s just a bunch of colors thrown together.

Bill: (Playfully) Well, maybe that’s the point. Sometimes chaos is the art.

Amy: (Smirking) Says the man who’s writing a solo show about chaos.

Bill: (Touches his chest, mock hurt) Hey, my chaos has a purpose!

Amy: (Laughs) I know it does. It’s just nice to have moments like this, where we’re not stressing about shows or auditions.

Bill: (Pauses, then nods) Yeah, it really is. I think we both needed this.

Scene: Amy Introduces Bill to Her Producer Friend (Café – Day) (Amy and Bill sit across from a producer in a trendy café. The conversation feels a bit awkward.)

Producer: I appreciate the passion, but I’m not sure it’s the right fit for what we’re looking for.

Bill: (Trying to mask disappointment) I understand. Thanks for your time.

(The producer leaves, and Bill slumps in his seat.)

Amy: (Reassuring) Hey, don’t let this discourage you. We’ll find someone who sees your talent.

Bill: (Sighs) It just feels like every opportunity ends up being a dead end.

Amy: (Determined) It’s not a dead end—it’s just a detour. We’ll keep pushing until we find the right person. You’ve come too far to give up now.

Bill: (With a faint smile) You’re right. I’m grateful for you, Amy.

Amy: (Smiling back) Always, Bill.

Scene 45: Bill Shows Amy the Theater (Small Theater – Day) (Bill takes Amy to a small, intimate theater, with rows of worn-out seats and a small stage.)

Bill: (Excited) This is where I’m planning to perform my solo show.

Amy: (Looking around, smiling) It’s perfect, Bill. It’s got that intimate vibe where your story will really connect with people.

Bill: (With uncertainty) You think so?

Amy: Absolutely. This place has soul—just like your show.

Bill: (Smiling, feeling reassured) Thanks, Amy. I wasn’t sure, but hearing you say it makes it feel real.

Amy: It is real, Bill. And you’re going to own that stage.

Scene 75: Bill with Amy – Promenade – Night (Support System Solidified) (Amy and Bill walk along the moonlit Brooklyn Promenade, gazing at the Manhattan skyline.)

Bill: (Sighs) I still feel like I’m miles away from where I want to be.

Amy: (Pauses, then stops walking) But look how far you’ve come. You’ve created something from scratch, Bill. That’s huge.

Bill: (Smiling) I know, but it’s hard to shake the feeling that I’m still falling short.

Amy: (Places a hand on his shoulder) You’re not falling short. You’re climbing, step by step. And even if it’s slow, you’re moving forward.

Bill: (Touched) Thanks, Amy. I don’t think I’d have made it this far without you.

Amy: (Smiling) And I wouldn’t have made it this far without you, either. We’re in this together, remember?

Scene: Amy and Bill Share a Quiet Moment (Small Theater – Night) (Bill and Amy sit together in an empty theater, staring at the stage.)

Amy: (Quietly) It’s kind of surreal, isn’t it? How much we’ve put into this.

Bill: (Nods) Yeah. Sometimes I wonder if all the struggle is worth it.

Amy: (Looking at him) It is, Bill. The struggle is part of what makes the victory so sweet.

Bill: (Smiling) I guess you’re right. I’m glad we stuck with it.

Amy: Me too. And no matter what happens, I’m proud of what we’ve built.

Bill: (Softly) Me too, Amy. Me too.

(They sit in comfortable silence, reflecting on how far they’ve come and looking ahead to what’s next.)

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toomanytookas · 7 months ago

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Davnitt, I've been mulling over what I was going to say for waaaaay too long because it’s hard to put into words how much this ticked so many of my boxes. I don't think I've quite managed it, but here are some ramblings of appreciation.

The perfect dom does not exist… the perfect dom does not exist… the perfect dom does not exist… but actually maybe they do in the form of your take on Marcus.

Discovering your fic at Kate's recommendation feels a bit like having been gifted a winning lottery ticket. Reading this felt like being seen and cared for and having basically everything I’d want brought to life, and it just burrowed this Marcus and his dynamic with the reader into my brain as like the ultimate comfort food for the very lonely little sub that lives there (oops I get a bit confessional on this website sometimes).

You did such an incredible job of establishing the reader's independent spirit and desire to be in control of her life (and reasons for it), along with setting the scene of the stress of her day. It made Marcus’s care for her and offer to take over and ultimately his dominance feel all the more like such sweet relief within that safe environment of their bedroom.

The buildup to when he first calls her “my lovely one” was incredible and when we finally get to that moment and you describe how she reacts to that voicing of his claim of her, I genuinely went under a little bit. Like, this whole passage (omg sorry to quote so much of your own writing back to you):

Something twists in your chest, turning and turning until it’s knotted around your heart and it hurts but it feels so good at the same time. A broken cry is pushed from your chest, sounding something like his name and a curse and a plea all at the same time. His lips meet yours briefly, a reassuring kiss followed by a soft susurration, his hand returning to your neck, a comforting weight. “Tell me what you need, lovely one.”

I could cry. I literally almost did. Ok, maybe I actually did, but don't tell anyone.

There were so, so many wonderful moments of both verbal and physical comfort and devotion and grounding. I'm obsessed with your descriptions how he holds her to him, how he locks her in place in a way that she can just relax into (that knee over his elbow... wooooah).

Also the fact that he's still mostly/entirely dressed? HELLO?????

I feel like I'm leaving out so many details that I delighted in while reading, but please know that this was so, so cathartic and wonderful and I've genuinely read it a few times already and will absolutely be back to read it again in the future.

The next part of the series genuinely felt like it was a glimpse into their dynamic that was almost too intimate for words? But I'll get around to commenting on them eventually. In the meantime, thank you thank you thank you for writing and sharing this universe.

I’m Here

Pairing: Marcus Pike x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 8,546 and every single one of them is pure, unabashed self-indulgence

Warnings etc: reader is described as being in a long term previous relationship, smut (piv, unprotected, oral f!receiving), angst, fluff, description of disgustingly cliché meet-cute, established relationship, mentions of past abusive relationship, anxiety, big beefy cuddly dogs, light BDSM, breathplay, like HEAVY breathplay to some people, physical restraint, Dom/Sub dynamics, Soft!Dom Marcus, Sub!Reader, Praise kink out the wazoo

Notes aka Writer’s Plea For Mercy: This was supposed to be a ~200 word drabble, then I mentally vomited some paragraphs onto a page as part of my attempt at working through some life shit and here we are. GIF chosen because those GODDAMN HANDS STARTED THIS WHOLE THING.

Keep reading

#the mentalist #oneshot #series #read

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vespertin-y · 2 years ago

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here’s the next part of ch4′s daily life, in which i was an absolute moron to think i could bang all this out in one post wtf this chapter is so long

-”you can trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. it’s the honest ones you wanna watch out for...cuz you can never predict when they’re gonna do something...incredibly stupid. it’s honestly easier to go through life without telling a single lie. which means honest people are just lazy jerks who’d rather coast through life. by the way, the recent trend of encouraging honesty is actually a lie. you see, it’s better for liars if there are more honest people in the world to deceive. they’ve been lying about that trend so there can be more stupid honest people...but that might be a lie, too. puhuhuhuhu.” normally i wouldn’t type out an entire monokuma theatre, but *COME ON*. do i even need to comment on this one.....danganronpa loves a good bit of false foreshadowing what can i say.

-[what the hell kind of ending was that? and that was way too long for an announcement.] THANK YOU!!!!!!!

-while we’re on the subject of shuichi saying things that are very satisfying to me: he asks gonta about his “tiny bugs” almost every time he sees him (including this particular morning) and is v concerned about them, repeatedly saying that he doesn’t think gonta’s making a mistake or seeing things. it’s always nice to see people take gonta seriously.

-”use your self-destruct system to save us. that’s how robots make themselves useful.” H I M I K O. “even though that is true, at least hesitate before you blurt out something like that!” KIIBO YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO AGREE!! at least threaten to sue her or something cmon D: [but you admit it’s true, huh...?] E TU, SHUICHI? pleasg tell me in the JP they said something closer to ‘that’s how robots make themselves useful in movies’ and everyone didn’t just become a complete dipshit all of a sudden......

-”anyway, that failure doesn’t bother me anymore.” right, which is why you’ve refused to use swords ever since, get visibly upset when just *seeing* a sword, and get even more upset when kaito and shuichi laugh about it. not bothered at all! no emotions here!!

-maki’s jaw literally *dropping* when kaito and shuichi apologize to her :(((

-FTE time! maki’s first up (and they don’t fuck up the gift this time!). we get the ICONIC line “i’ve turned a 5 story building into a 4 story one before.”, plus the reveal that she’s killed friends from school - but what kind of school *was* it, to have both a child assassin and the daughter of a yakuza kingpin in attendance...? inch resting.

-kokichi is next! “i bumped into kaito, and he ended up giving me a lecture. he told me to think of a way to escape...but the only idea i can think of is becoming the blackened myself. that’d entertain everyone.” (HANG OUT WITH KOKICHI Y/N) “nee-heehee, i’m lying! don’t give me such a scary face! here, you want some bubblegum? it’s my last one, but i’ll give it if you reeeally want it!” is offering people bubblegum when they’re pissed at you your defense mechanism or something!? anyway, the rest of the FTE is the rock-paper-scissors scene, which is...cute. it’s cute! it’s a good way of establishing that these events are just kokichi trying to get shuichi to spend as much time and attention on him as possible! there’s analysis to be had, obviously, but i feel like it’s already been done ten times over by smarter people than me. they’re the saiou FTEs, everyone and their mother knows what they’re about.

-it’s nighttime now, but instead of an announcement we get...a surprise visit from miu. oh boy. at least “me n the twins wanted to pay you a visit!” is one of the funnier jokes she’s told...?

-”don’t act all depressed just cuz you didn’t get to spend any alone time with me!” “...do i look “depressed” to you?” godDAMN shuichi ok

-the artstyle clearly makes it some kind of parody (of what i don’t know, sorry) but the fact that kokichi rounds everyone up to leave and abandon the virtual world plan and miu gets on her knees and begs to be able to kill him is so genuinely chilling.

-kokichi is also already noticeably crueler to miu - normally he does one or two over-the-top insults toward her per trial, which she even seems to.....enjoy......but here, he’s spitting venom almost nonstop and miu seems far more hurt than excited.

-”wh-what the-? am i...really that untrustworthy?” yes, miu. yes you are.

-”this body made my soul, and my soul made this body...which means my body and soul together make me who i am! separating them is outrageous!” another W take from himiko!!

-”him! he’s my daddy!” don’t be ridiculous, monotaro, he’s obviously your cousin. he comes from the hope mascot side of the family, which makes usami basically his mom. i’ve done the math!!

-”out of curiosity...what happens if you switch the cords?” “i dunno. i’ve never done that before...probably gets all glitchy or something! maybe you’ll become a vegetable, maybe you’ll body-swap with someone...who knows?” how i wish this chapter was a fun body-swap sidequest...how i wish......

#dr #mem liveblogs

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official-kenralie-fanbase · 2 years ago

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Hi! i'm new to the tumblr kotlc fandom (but i've been a fan of the books for years) and i checked out your character ask game. it doesn't look like you've done alden yet, so i wanted to know what you think of his character and development, and specifically your thoughts on the Alden Neverseen theory. the theory is that alden is the unknown telepath in the Neverseen and the behind-the-scenes leader, which could explain some unrevealed plot points (like what the vacker legacy actually is, cause the troll breeding was sorta anticlimactic imo) and some of his more questionable actions (like why prentice called swan song before getting mind-broken, or why he was using fitz and alvar --fitz was six, mind you!--to search for sophie when ninety-five percent of the elven world didn't believe she even existed pre-series).

disclaimer, i haven't read stellarlune yet, so idk if said leader/telepath is revealed already! (i've ordered it but it hasn't arrived yet)

Hello Val! It's so nice to meet you, I'm relatively new to the kotlc tumblr fandom as well so I'm glad that you went to me to check out my ask game! Alden is such an interesting character and you gave me a lot to talk about :)

(Sorry this took so long! For all I know, you might have finished Stellarlune by now, but in case you haven't, there won't be any spoilers in this. Alden isn't really in Stellarlune at all, and I honestly can't recall any times when he's even mentioned, so I know just as much as you do about his involvement)

This got long so I'm putting it under a cut

My honest opinion of them: I honestly got whiplash from how fast I went from liking Alden to not liking him. Like a lot of people, I started disliking him when I read the Keefe short story, but then I began to realize how messed up were lots of the other things he'd done. You mentioned a lot of them, but I'll add some: Asking a young girl who'd only been in their world for less than a year to help him with a very traumatic assignment, never apologizes to Prentice after his mind is healed even though Alden's mind broke because of his guilt, and he was denied Spyball approval. (Also, the way he calls her "good girl" always makes my skin crawl.) I think he's a really fascinating character with a lot of depth and complexity that hasn't been explored- and I think that theory would show a lot of that depth.

Who (if anyone) I ship with them: I tend to respect when characters are married/established together in books, so Della I guess? Even though she is way too good for him. And though I don't ship him and Alina, I think their backstory is really interesting and adds a lot of drama.

And what I think will happen with them in the next book(s): I actually really support the Alden-is-the-Neverseen-leader theory that you discussed. You described it really well, but it would explain a lot of his questionable actions. I think the likelihood of him being the Telepath that erased Keefe's memories is very strong. I think that this theory is very plausible- especially now that Alvar is kinda just... gone. For the most part, I think it would be fascinating for Fitz's character more than Alden's. To see how he reacted to his father betraying the family after everything he went through with Alvar would be a chance for some incredible depth. I also think the Vacker legacy will be revealed, and as for predictions on what that is, I have absolutely no clue. You're right when you say the troll breeding was anticlimactic, and I think that's probably only part of the true Vacker legacy (if it's at all related). I also think there's a suspicious amount of connections between him and Kenric, especially how you mention Prentice calling Swan Song. A theory I have that's very not thought out and just a theory is that Prentice discovered Alden's involvement and that's why he called Swan Song before his mind break, and then maybe Kenric discovered it as well and that's why he was killed. In short, I think there's been way too much foreshadowing for him involved in something for him to be as little involved in the last book as he was in Stellarlune. At this point, it might feel a bit anticlimactic for him to be the true leader, but I think that might just be because everyone's been theorizing that for such a long time/had such a long time to think about it. At least, I know that if it had been revealed at the end of, say, Legacy, I would have had no idea it was coming.

Send me any KOTLC character for the ask game!

Thank you so much for this ask! I had such a fun time answering it, and it's great to meet you! (Sorry again that it took so long but don't hesitate to send me more asks if you have them!)

#valentinerose529 #thanks for the ask!#it's so great to meet you :)#alden vacker #kotlc alden #kotlc ask game #kotlc #kotlc theories #kotlc discourse

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au-starss · 2 years ago

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Hi i loved your first TOT fic and I'm looking forward to what you write about TOT in the future! Can i please get something with the TOT boys + possessive or they get jealous 🥺🥺

'𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲, 𝗜'𝗺 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀..'

𝗔𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗺, 𝗟𝘂𝗸𝗲, 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘂𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗩𝘆𝗻 𝘅 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 [𝘀𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲]

𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗹

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵

—

𝘆𝗮𝘆 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 ! 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝘂 𝘀𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻 ! 𝗶 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘂𝗽 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 <𝟯𝟯

𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝗯𝗶𝗼 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘂𝘀

𝗔𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗺:

He's a professional lawyer, so of course he wouldn't make a scene

But his blood was boiling I tell you

To backtrack, the two of you decided to go to lunch together at a small cafe

He went to grab his wallet from the car while you ordered

But when he came back, Artem saw the cashier flirting with you!

You laughed nervously at their gestures, not exactly sure what to say

So, to be subtle, he strides up next to you and holds your hand

“Did you order already, darling?”

The cashier’s eyes went wide and they quickly finished up the order

All the while, Artem pulled you closer and even kissed your head

The whole situation was honestly a little funny to you

After sitting down, you await for your name to be called

Artem seemed a little uneasy, and you understand why

He was tense as well; shoulders up and hands in slight fists

You offered him a smile and reassured him that you weren’t going anywhere

He settled down slightly after that and became less tense

The two of you enjoyed a nice lunch date and walked back to the firm

And he was definitely holding your hand or you by waist the whole way back

𝗟𝘂𝗸𝗲:

He's pretty shocked that you're being flirted with

Hence, Luke froze when he got out of his car to pick you up

You had been waiting for Luke to pick you up for a date/undercover mission at a party

The attire was formal, so you were dressed quite fancy while standing on the side of the road

And this sadly attracted unwanted attention from someone walking past

They tried to accompany you wherever you were going, and were quite persistent too

So upon seeing Luke, you let out a breath of relief

Upon giving him a knowing look, he instantly understood the situation

And trust me, he was quite jealous that someone on the street could be so much more charming than he could

So he strutted up next to you, sliding an arm around your waist

"I'm sorry for making you wait. Who is this, my love?"

They kind of stood there in shock and silence before waving and leaving quickly

You thank your boyfriend for what he did and the two of you head off on your venture

Even though Luke was there with a purpose, he couldn't bear leaving you alone during the whole night

He kept you close to him all night and made sure it was established that you were his partner

You weren't sure if he noticed that you noticed his possessive nature

But you didn't bring it up

You simply let him be possessive over you and your relationship together

After all, it was nice to know that he only wanted you

𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘂𝘀:

Marius has absolutely no problem with telling the whole world that the two of you are together

After all, his partner is one of the greatest people on the planet

How could he not show you off?

It was a long day and you promised to wait in The Pax lobby for Marius to finish his meeting

While waiting, someone politely sat next to you and struck up conversation with you

They were friendly enough, so the two of you talked while you waited

Soon, their intentions became flirtatious and you noticed quickly

And Marius just so happened to be arriving to the lobby when this happened

The person in question politely greeted Marius, but he only smiled in turn and pulled you next to him

"I see you've met my partner. They're incredible, right?"

He couldn't help but smirk widely as the person stuttered and aplogized

After they walked away, you watched as Marius glared at them from behind

But only briefly

After, the two of you leave Pax and make it home safely

He made sure to ask a ton of questions; did they hurt you? make you uncomfortable? what happened?

Mr. Von Hagen was also keeping you very close the rest of the night, even if it's just you two at home

He knows that you're his and his only, but he does have his jealousy episodes when those situations happen

And being kept close while he's jealously clingy brings quite a bit of comfort

𝗩𝘆𝗻:

He keeps a calm demeanor in practically every situation

So he does very well at hiding his jealousy

But being provoked may make him slip up

He always knew of Marius' natural teasing nature

So it wasn't too surprising when he threw a few flirty comments your way

Of course, Vyn didn't exactly like said comments

But he kept a calm demeanor and stayed close to you, also saying some things to try and hint at Marius'

"After the meeting, we should take a walk around town darling, hmm? Consider it.. a date."

However, Marius kept up his antics and continued his flirty comments all throughout the NXX meeting

Your poor boyfriend was having a really hard time keeping his cool

Finally, when the meeting was over he bid Marius a farewell and walked off with you and tow

Vyn also may have shot him and small and brief glare, but not long enough for you to notice

While walking home, Vyn kept you close to his side (ie handing holding) while keeping casual talks

He also asked if what you thought of Marius' comments from the meeting

You shrugged him off and continued on your way home, trying not to show that the comments were quite flustering

But he's a psychiatrist, so he knows that you aren't exactly telling him the truth

Regardless, he lets it go, instead opting to take you to dinner instead

Though, the rest of the night consists of him doing the things that you adore of him and reassuring you (and himself mostly) that you're in a relationship together

𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝗯𝗶𝗼 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘂𝘀

#tears of themis x reader #tears of themis #tot #tot x reader #vyn x reader #artem x reader #marius x reader #luke x reader

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something-tofightfor · 3 years ago

Text

We’ll Feel It All Tonight

Pairing: Joel Miller (TLOU) x Female Reader

Word Count: 16,313 (I’m .... not sorry but I know it’s excessive)

Rating: Not Safe For Work. This is for adults and adults only. (Language, mentions of past violence, sex.) If you’re familiar with the game’s plot and setting, you know what you’re getting into.

Warnings: Joel Miller is his own goddamn warning. BUT: Canon character death talk, past violence, post-apocalyptic setting, injury, heavy angst

THERE ARE MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE LAST OF US (and these likely will also be spoilers for the first season of the show. Continue reading at your own risk.)

Summary: The relative safety of Jackson City has allowed you to establish as ‘normal’ a routine as you can imagine two decades after the outbreak that decimated the world’s population. This means living a life that you hadn’t thought possible - especially with someone like Joel Miller.

But to ensure Jackson’s continued safety and stability, lengthy supply runs are necessary each year before the weather turns. This time, you have to sit back and watch Joel leave... which means finding the right way to send him off.

Author’s note: This story has been a long time coming. When Pedro was announced in the role in February, I SWORE I wouldn’t write for the series, even though I’ve loved the games for YEARS. Why? Because Naughty Dog already told an incredible story and I didn’t want to mess with it. But the more I’ve seen of the behind the scenes stuff... I couldn’t hold back anymore. I love this man too much not to explore what could have been/could be for him in Jackson.

Like the masterlist says, this story (and series) largely follows what the game set up. The outbreak took place in September 2013, ‘present’ day is 2035, reader is roughly 6-7 years younger than a 49-50 year old Joel. NO AGE GAP HERE. Joel’s characterization is based on in-game Joel, with some of Pedro’s mannerisms thrown in for good measure. If you have any questions, concerns or thoughts - PLEASE feel free to reach out.

Many, many thanks to @thepoisonofgod for saving my ass with this beautiful banner - and the ones she made for the other parts of this series, too. They’re gorgeous and she is insanely talented and you should check out her other work!

Spotify Playlist; Suggested listening “Tonight, Tonight” by the Smashing Pumpkins

Enjoy.

Just Too Good To Be Gone Masterlist

It was quiet in the house - but that wasn’t a bad thing. You’d gotten used to the silence; there were more than a few hours each day when the streets of Jackson were almost universally quiet, even with the restored electricity. We all got used to it, you reminded yourself as you carefully made your way through the comfortable living room, the crutch beneath your left arm thumping dully against the wooden floor. And we’re still getting used to all of this again.

You’d been in Jackson for years; well before the power had been restored, long before the settlement had grown into a town and then into a thriving community - even before Maria had met her husband. You didn’t like thinking about the time before the outbreak much; there wasn’t really a point, but you never hesitated to tell anyone that asked how you’d ended up 1,300 miles from home - Springfield, Illinois - and stayed put for two decades all at the invitation (and near demand) of a young woman that you’d never even met in person before the end of the world. Thank God for Internet friends.

Propping the crutch next to the armchair and then lowering yourself onto the worn cushion, you carefully lifted and then lowered your wrapped foot onto the ottoman before settling the uninjured one next to it. Eyes forward, you leaned back and let the fading sunlight that was streaming through the window warm your skin as you focused on the darkened screen of the TV on the stand. It wasn’t your home - not yet - but sometimes it felt like it, just like Jackson hadn’t felt like your home at first, but slowly became the most important place you’d ever lived. For me and for so many other people like Joel and Ellie.

It had been a long time since anyone new had shown up in Jackson without malicious intent, so the initial arrival of the pair - and Joel’s relation to Tommy - was the closest thing to true gossip in Jackson you’d ever experienced. You’d seen the two of them briefly the first time they’d come through the settlement - catching a glimpse of both as they walked from the main gate to Tommy and Maria’s house, and then another as they explored the main street together - but it hadn’t been until Joel and the young girl were back for good months later that you’d had a formal introduction, courtesy of your closest friend and her husband.

Much later, it was confirmed that before meeting Ellie, Joel’s life consisted of surviving and surviving only for the majority of the time between the outbreak and the present, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t still think about what his life had been like 20 years earlier. He just didn’t admit it to anyone, even himself. Not before Jackson. Joel was a practical man - and that had been one of the first things that you’d learned about him, the two of you trading stories on Tommy and Maria’s back porch and feeling each other out to figure out what you could and couldn’t say while his brother and sister in law and Ellie sat by. They gave us a chance.

You remembered telling Joel for the first time where you were from and who you’d been, Tommy and Maria more than encouraging you to open up, the woman helping to fill in details since she’d known you the longest. Joel had listened intently, though he’d interrupted at times to explain outdated concepts like regularly talking to people that didn’t live anywhere near you, picking up a phone and being able to send pictures back and forth, and using the Internet to do research on anything and everything to Ellie.You’d seen the interest in his eyes as you spoke, the man shifting his weight in his seat and leaning closer more than once, though his posture hadn’t ever truly relaxed, something that didn’t surprise you.

You knew better than to push him into speaking to you, though, and so you’d been content to bide your time and let the relationship and trust between you grow naturally. Tommy had been very clear that his older brother couldn’t be forced into doing anything, and despite your better instincts, you’d wanted to make a good impression. Because I liked him, even then. And I had no idea it would become … this. Despite Joel’s initial distance from everyone that wasn’t Tommy, Maria or Ellie, he’d always greeted you with a nod or by briefly lifting a hand - and it was enough.

Joel and Ellie were wary of getting too close at first, of trusting the safety of Jackson, and you couldn’t blame them. Many of the other settlers had been the same way, and even though most of them hadn’t been through what Joel and Ellie had, you knew better than to judge anyone for the way they approached other people - even in somewhere like Jackson. It’s safe, sure, but… you can never be too careful.

Sighing, you closed your eyes and turned your head toward the window, letting yourself sink into the comfort of the chair’s cushions. For the first time in nearly a week, your foot and ankle weren’t in much pain, and you wanted to enjoy the respite for as long as it lasted. With help from the ticking of the clock on the opposite wall, you drifted off a few minutes later, chin tucked against your shoulder and your arms crossed over your chest.

The next time you opened your eyes, it was later - the sun much lower in the sky and the room filled with dusky light. “Who said you could just fall asleep in my chair?” At the sound, your head whipped to the left in a blind panic. It only lasted seconds before your lips curved upward into a sleepy smile as you saw Joel leaning against the built-in bookcase near the doorway. “And without -” Without a weapon nearby. You knew what he was going to say before he said it and so you reached over, fingers gripping the top bar of the crutch. “That don’t count. You gonna use it one handed?”

“Mmmhmm.” You yawned, letting go of the wood and covering your mouth. “It does count. And I donno. Some guy told me I could sleep here whenever I wanted to… right around the same time he had his hand up my shirt and told me that he thought he’d -” You heard him snort as he pushed off of the wall and walked into the room, footsteps quiet across the floor. He took his boots off. He’s in for the night. “What time is it, Joel? I can’t see the clock.”

“Almost eight.” He was in front of you, hands hanging by his thighs. “Didn’t mean to get back so late, but we mapped everything out.” At that, you woke fully, sitting up straight and blinking the remains of sleep from your eyes. Oh. “You eat?” He frowned, but when you shook your head no, he held out a hand, waiting. “C’mon. I’ll tell you about where we’re goin’ while I make you dinner.” The moment his fingers wrapped around yours, you felt relief wash over you - the same way it always did, even when he’d only been gone for a few hours.

There was something about the man that made you feel immediately safe. Though you knew the violence that he was capable of, the darkness that he’d let himself get lost in over and over in the years between the outbreak and meeting Ellie, you also knew how fiercely he protected those he cared about, and you were very thankful to count yourself among the members of that small group.

He helped you from the chair into the kitchen, taking the place of the crutch you’d been using since you injured your ankle. “Coulda just hopped in here on one foot, Joel. It’s not that far.” You were teasing, but instead of replying, he tightened his arm around your body, the fingers of one large hand splayed against your ribcage. Guess he’s not in the mood to joke tonight. Joel paused in the doorway, flipping the overhead light on and the pair of you continued past the refrigerator and the kitchen island, the man waiting until you were comfortable in one of the breakfast nook’s chairs to reply.

“You could have, but then I would have had to try not to laugh.” Though you began to roll your eyes in reply, the reaction was stopped as he leaned down, bracing one hand on the top of the wooden table and letting the palm of the other rest on your shoulder. What’s he … He caught your gaze with his, unblinking, and you were momentarily distracted by the lock of hair laying against his forehead, the end of it hanging nearly to his eyebrow. “Need anything?” You need a haircut.

“No.” It was little more than a whisper, and before you could stop yourself, you leaned forward enough to press your lips to his - only briefly. “I’m good.” With a final squeeze of his fingers, the man straightened up and then turned back toward the refrigerator. He was dressed casually; a dark t-shirt baring his arms from the biceps down, well-worn jeans belted at his waist, though you knew it likely wasn’t tight. He’d relaxed a great deal in the time since he and Ellie had returned to Jackson, and though Joel was always ready to react if necessary, within the walls of his own home, he was as close to easygoing as you ever saw him. And I like it that way. “What’s for dinner?”

He rummaged through the shelves for a few seconds and then pulled out a plastic dish, your smile reappearing immediately at the sight. Doesn’t matter how much time has passed, there’s always gonna be Tupperware. “Figured we’d eat the last of these burgers.” The man crossed the kitchen, pulling a pan from the cupboard and setting it on the gas stove, twisting the knob to light the burner with a series of quiet clicks followed by a hiss. “Won’t be any good by the time I get back. Besides,” he glanced over at you. “By then, it’ll be time for us to go out and get another bison.” You grinned at his words, nodding once.

“You just want to watch me use the bow, don’t you.” He laughed at that, the sound nearly ringing through the kitchen, and you didn’t even try to keep the grin from your lips at it. “Fine. It’s a date.” He smiled back at you before returning his attention to the food on the counter, and for the next few minutes, you stayed silent and watched him prep.

It was strange to you sometimes to have nearly unlimited access to electricity and running water, but after the years you’d gone without it, you knew that you’d never take it for granted again. Joel’s house still didn’t have hot water - and though it was something you (and Ellie) got onto him about, you had to admit that it wasn’t all bad. You’d dealt with much worse in the previous years, and even though you missed it while staying at his place, being with him was a fair trade off - as were the hours spent after taking cold showers together, the man taking as much time as both of you had to spare making sure you were warm again.

It didn’t take him long to cook the meat and assemble the burgers, carrying the plates to the table before returning to the refrigerator and pulling out a glass pitcher of iced tea to go along with them. “You know,” you spoke as he sat down, the legs of his chair scraping over the wooden floor as he moved. “If I’d known that all it took to get you to cook for me was -” “Don’t even say it.” He grumbled your name out, the rim of his glass already near his lips. “The last thing we fuckin’ need is you offa your feet for any longer.” He swallowed, setting the glass back down. “How’s it feel, by the way? Meant to ask before, but …” The man trailed off, waiting as you chewed and swallowed. This is good. I know it’s just a burger, but it’s… really good.

“Better. I know I said I heard it pop, but it …” You gently flexed your foot back and forth, the pain returning briefly before you stopped. “I don’t think it’s as bad as we thought it was.” You still didn’t have access to the type of modern medical technology that had been common before the outbreak, but there were a few nurses, a doctor that had been just about to finish med school before the world went to shit, and an aging physical therapist living in Jackson, so you’d been confident that you were doing all you could to care for your injury. “I should be better before… before you get back.”

He’d mentioned leaving earlier, but you’d chosen to gloss over it because you didn’t like thinking about the coming weeks. We can’t avoid it, though. “You will be.” You watched as he licked a drop of sauce - not quite ketchup but close - from his thumb, your eyes trained on the pink flash of his tongue before he sighed. “You could still come wit-” “No.” There was no hesitation in your interruption, because you knew he didn’t really mean it. “Joel, I won’t do that. I’d just slow you guys down.” Prior to your injury, you’d been scheduled to go on a long supply run with him and three of the other residents of Jackson. But that’s not happening now. “It’d be too dangerous, especially with how far you’re planning on going.”

Through the years, you’d ventured further and further out from the town on each run, clearing the surrounding areas of all necessary and useful supplies and tools, and assessing your surroundings. This trip - the last long one of the year - would take Joel and the others west into Idaho, with Twin Falls being the absolute furthest point they’d stop. Snow had begun falling earlier and earlier each year and you needed to be prepared, even though it was still only mid August. “I’m a liability on that crutch, and you know it.” I sure as hell do.

“Yeah, I guess.” No, you know. He swallowed another bite, eyes still focused on you. “Besides, who’s gonna stay here and take care of my house while I’m gone?”

“Ellie.” You raised an eyebrow. “Makes sense, since she lives -” “Ellie’s takin’ your place.” He cleared his throat. Oh. Oh, that … “She volunteered. And as much as I’d rather her sit this one out, she made a convincing -” “Of course she did.” You laughed, but felt the lump rising in your throat. They’re both going. “And aside from patrols, she hasn’t really left Jackson in a while, so…” You flexed your toes beneath the table, eyes on the window that looked out into the back yard and at Ellie’s converted garage. “You still leave tomorrow, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question, but Joel nodded, the motion slow and something you caught from the corner of one eye. “How early?”

“Noon.” He sighed. “And I was serious. I think you should stay here. Closer to the center of town than your place. Closer to Tommy an’ Maria.” There was something he wasn’t saying - but you didn’t know what it was. He’s never like this.

“Of course I’ll stay here. But, Joel, I need you to tell me what the real reason is. How many times have people here gotten hurt? It just -” “I watched you fall.” He lifted one hand, running it through his hair, the fingers of the other tapping nervously against the table’s wooden surface, but didn’t meet your eyes. “Your foot slipped on those goddamn rocks, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop you from fallin’.” The distance across the tiny table had never seemed so large, and after pushing the plates to the side, you reached for the man’s hand, stopping the repetitive taps as you curled your fingers around his. “Followin’ you down that hill was like … was like goin’ down with Sarah all over again.”

His words chilled you. Despite the changes he’d made in the years since the outbreak - specifically after meeting and traveling with Ellie, you knew that using his daughter’s name was still a rare thing - and that talking about the day he’d lost her was even less common. Even with me. “It wasn’t, though, Joel. I’m fine. I didn’t even fall that -”

“It was. For me.” The man said your name again, finally looking at you head on. “It’s supposed to be safe here. It’s supposed to be better here.” You knew that he meant Jackson, but the lump in your throat was solidifying into something larger, stuck there, no matter how many times you swallowed, and so you couldn’t respond. “I only been that scared three times in my whole life. Three.” He blinked, shoulders rising and falling as he took a deep breath, jaw locked. Sarah. Ellie. Me.

To most of the other residents of Jackson, and to the people you’d met on the road while out on patrol or supply runs, Joel was just another hardened man - someone that wore the years of his life in every calculated facial expression and scar on his body. He was someone that had lived through more than his share of bullshit, enduring everything that came his way and surviving it, despite losing large parts of himself in the process. He was also those things to you, sure, but along with a very small number of people, you also knew a different Joel Miller, one that even the man in question was still getting reacquainted with. “I love you, too, Joel.”

It wasn’t a good idea to fall in love with someone, and that was doubly true post-Cordyceps outbreak. If the world - and trusting your heart to someone - had been dangerous before, it was even more dangerous twenty years and billions of lives lost later. But I couldn’t help it. Not with him. You squeezed his fingers, not looking away.

You saw the apprehension in his eyes - not at your touch, or the reassurance of your affection.Instead, what Joel was apprehensive about had more to do with his own track record than anything else. It shouldn’t have to be that way. Not anymore.

“I know you do.” He finally looked away, eyes darting out toward the back yard, where a light had just turned on in Ellie’s place. “And I know that it wasn’t anything like that day, but it … old memories, right? Never been happier than I was to see you sit up and start bitchin’ about your ankle.”

“I did bitch a lot, didn’t I.” Raising an eyebrow, you leaned in. “It hurt. It still hurts, but it could have been a lot worse, Joel. And we both know it.” You’d lost plenty of people in the years before and after your arrival in Jackson, some of them due to the infected, others due to stupid, careless accidents. People were still capable and intelligent, but it was no secret that despite equipment being available, the quality of medical care was nowhere near as advanced as it had been - and there were a lot more opportunities for misfortune. “Couple weeks. I’ll be back on both feet, and won’t need anyone to help me get around.”

If there was one thing you knew about Joel, it was that he carried guilt with him with as much ease as Tommy carried his rifle or Ellie her blade. For him, it was simpler to use the guilt and react to it than to ignore it. You also knew that Joel’s guilt - along with anger and frustration - had fueled him for close to two decades with very few bright spots. But he doesn’t have to feel guilty about this.

“Yeah, you can finally start pullin’ your own weight around here again.” You rolled your eyes without thinking, and were thrilled to see the corners of his mouth briefly rise in a small smile, the tension in the room decreasing. “Shit.” He scoffed, closing his eyes and letting his head drop down toward his chest. “I didn’t mean to -” You cut him off when you said his name quietly, one of your hands landing atop his where it rested on the table. “Yeah?”

“I’m glad you were there with me. Glad it wasn’t someone else.” He knew that already, but you never wasted an opportunity to let the man know how much you appreciated his presence in your life. “You know how some people here are when someone isn’t… visibly injured.” He scoffed, dragging the fingers of the hand you weren’t holding through his hair.

“Assholes. All of ‘em.” He didn’t really mean it, but you knew that the way a few of the residents of Jackson lived bothered him, the men and women not taking injuries or illnesses seriously unless there was visible - or testable - evidence. “You couldn’t even put weight on it, how -”

“It wouldn’t have mattered to some of them. No blood or bones, no real injury.” The official diagnosis had been a partially ruptured Achilles, something you’d already prepared yourself to hear on the journey back from the hills to the west of Wilson, your foot and ankle wrapped as securely as Joel had been able to manage on short notice. “And none of them would have been as understanding as you about coming back, either.” He was watching you, eyes focused on your face. “Suck it up or get left behind, right?” You shrugged, moving to pull your hand away from his, but Joel quickly flipped his over, curling his fingers around yours.

“Nobody woulda left you.” He didn’t lie to you often, but you could tell that even he didn’t believe his words. I know these people better than you, Joel. “They would have had to deal with me, then. And -” “You know…” Shifting on your chair, you stroked the inside of his wrist, the tip of your thumb running along the edge of the well-worn leather band of his watch. “That would probably be the only thing that would have saved me.” Fighting back a shiver at the thought, you averted your gaze, looking around the comfortable kitchen. “No one here would have wanted to tell you that they left your -” You frowned, sighing. You never knew what to call your relationship with the man, especially when talking to people that weren’t in your immediate circle. Girlfriend seems too outdated. Partner isn’t … that’s not what this is. And we’re not married, so…

“Family.” He squeezed your hand. “Anyone tellin’ me that they left my family somewhere alone? Left ‘em hurt out there?” You saw the flash in his eyes; the muted expression no longer thoughtful and instead almost cruel. “Be the last thing they ever told anyone.” You didn’t doubt his words, but at the same time, didn’t want to spend the last night you’d have with him for weeks with Joel in a terrible mood, so you let out a breath, batting your eyelashes at him and trying to calm the racing of your heart with a change in conversational topics.

“It doesn’t matter, because you were there, Joel. And now I’m back here, and you’re cooking me burgers for dinner, and I’m going to spend the night, and -” Joel tugged on your hand, urging you to lean closer. “Wh -”

“I’m right here, too.” He kissed your cheek, turning his head slightly and letting the short, thick hair of his beard move along your jaw. “Right here.” The man didn’t make promises or guarantees unless he knew that he could follow through, but to you, those words were a promise - as good as any other both pre and post outbreak. Instead of responding verbally, you lifted your free hand to press your palm to his bearded cheek, urging him to turn his face back toward yours.

“I know you are.” You murmured the words, eyes closed. “I know you are, Joel.” There had been other men between your arrival in Jackson almost two years after the outbreak began and the day you’d met Joel, but none of them made you feel the way that the man in front of you did. None of them gave me any hope. You kissed him first, lips moving against the man’s deliberately, and Joel immediately reacted, positioning himself at the edge of his seat to get closer to you. None of them made me … happy.

There were still things that Joel didn’t know about you - the same way that you were certain there were parts of his past that he didn’t feel the need to relay to you. But that didn’t mean that you were shy about telling him how important he was to you, even before the two of you had officially been together. The relative safety and security of Jackson made it possible to focus on things that weren’t just survival, and after the initial shock of the apocalypse had worn off and the city had been secured, you’d been able to think more clearly about what you wanted from the rest of your life. But he wasn’t. He couldn’t. Not as soon as I could… and 20 years is a hell of a long time to live like he did.

When Tommy arrived in Jackson, he’d been skeptical of everything and everyone, and the more you learned about his recent past, the more you understood. He’d talked about Joel - about their time together and about the things they’d done to survive, and even though there was a somewhat dazed look in his eyes as he recounted it, you could feel that he still loved his brother. Because Joel kept them alive. Joel got them through it. You were certain of that fact as Tommy remained in Jackson longer, the horror stories interspersed with memories of Joel before, the two of them behaving like typical brothers - and you could hear how much Tommy missed that Joel. And now I know why.

The man settled into the community quickly, integrating himself into the population - and into Maria’s life - seamlessly, but he’d never forgotten the brother that he’d left, nor the lifestyle that had been required to get him to Jackson in the first place. He’d been hopeful that somehow, they’d see each other again, even though he knew how unlikely it was - and you’d hoped for the same for him for as long as you could remember. And then years later … Joel and Ellie came.

You felt yourself moving even closer to Joel, positioning your body so that the table wasn’t entirely between you. In the same moment that you felt the man’s lips part, his tongue gliding over the curve of your lower one, you heard the chair he was sitting in scrape across the floor and toward you. They came and they left and then they came back. You knew that you had nothing to do with Joel and Ellie’s return - it was simply about going where the man knew it was safe, where the two of them had the best chance at a future … and you’d just been an added bonus for him.

The man deepened the kiss, you sighing into his mouth, but before either of you could get too carried away, you slid the hand from his cheek down to his chest, pushing him away. “Slow down there, Te - Joel.” You caught yourself before you let the other nickname slip all the way out, hoping that it didn’t stick in the air the way it did in your throat. He’d promised that it didn’t bother him when you called him Texas, even though it reminded him of a woman from his past - Tess, the woman that had initially helped get Ellie out of Boston - because she’d done the same. And they were close for a long time.

But once you’d found out that that had been the case, you made it a point to avoid doing it whenever you could, frequently catching yourself. Why remind each other of the past more than necessary? He straightened up and so did you, though you didn’t stop touching each other, the man’s heart thumping beneath your palm. “Sorry ‘bout that.” He wasn’t really sorry, and you both knew it, but you accepted his apology nonetheless, rolling your eyes and giving him a tiny smirk. “Gonna put these dishes in the sink, and then we can watch a movie or somethin’ if you want. There’s gotta be one on the shelf that -”

“We could do that.” You glanced at the doorway, eyes landing on the visible portion of the couch in the main room. “Or we could do something else.” Joel leaned back in his chair, crossing both arms over his chest. “Not that.” He groaned and you laughed. “I mean, yeah, definitely that, later, but …” Reaching out again, you swiped your fingers through his hair, the thick salt and pepper strands sliding against your fingers. “You’re gonna be out there for a long time, and your hair grows fast. Let me trim it for you before you go?”

“You’re gonna cut my hair?” He raised both eyebrows, expression truly shocked. “I …” He cleared his throat. “Alright.” Part of you thought that he would have said no - that he’d say he’d handle it himself, or let Ellie do it out on the trip when it got necessary. But he didn’t. “Meet you upstairs? Light’s better up there in my workshop.”

“You got it.” Grinning, you pushed to your feet, Joel getting up too. Ah, shit .”Would you mind grabbing my -” He was already moving, disappearing into the living room and returning a few seconds later with the crutch in his hand. “Thanks.”

“Won’t take me long.” He stopped in front of you, waiting as you situated the wood beneath your arm. “Scissors are in the top drawer under the window, and there’s towels in the closet.” “You act like I’ve never been here before.” Cocking your head to the side, you looked up at him. “There something you need to tell me, hmm? Who’s coming over that doesn’t know -” “My other woman.” He grinned, blinking twice before he winked at you. “Other women I mean. Got so many of ‘em coming in and out that -” “In your dreams, Joel Miller.” With a final roll of your eyes, you turned your back to him and made your way toward the stairs, the man fighting back laughter behind you, though he was unable to contain it for longer than a few seconds. I love the sound of that.

While you waited for him upstairs, you changed clothes, getting comfortable and ready for bed. If Joel had no plans to leave again that night, you didn’t either, especially since it was already after 9:30. While the majority of your things were in your home, you did have some stuff tucked away into Joel’s drawers and closet, waiting for you on the nights you stayed. More often than not, you’d end up sleeping in something of his - usually a pair of old, worn flannel pants and a thin t-shirt, but that night you chose a pair of your own shorts and the shirt he’d had on the previous day, the olive green material smelling just like the man himself and hanging loosely over your shoulders.

Carefully, you laid down a towel on the floor of Joel’s workshop and then moved one of the chairs atop it, adjusting the desk lamp and then flipping it on to make sure that it - combined with the overhead light - were enough for you to see by. You heard the man coming before you saw him as he climbed the stairs. With everything that everyone had been through, sneaking up on others wasn’t something that happened often. He still surprised you occasionally - the living room earlier was one example - but it only happened in absolute safety, and you appreciated that from him, too. We’ve all had too many close calls.

He passed by the open door on his way into the bedroom, telling you he’d be right in, and so you leaned against the edge of his worktable, fingers gripping the wood. You’d figured he was changing clothes, too, but after only a few minutes, you heard the sound of music playing from the other room, a soft smile overtaking your face at the familiar melody. “I picked a good one.” He appeared in the doorway, one arm bent so that he could scratch the back of his head. “Got about 30 minutes before I’ll have to change records, but -” “I shouldn’t need that long.” You reached for him with one hand, Joel crossing the room and standing in front of you. “Go ahead and sit, I’ll start on the back.” He was watching you intently, the man’s sharp gaze moving over your face without pause, and you were reminded of the first time you’d met - the way Joel’s features skipped between intrigue and skepticism before finally landing on interest as you’d introduced yourself and explained to him and Ellie that you were one of the longest-settled residents of Jackson. But he’s not skeptical at all now. Now he’s just … looking. “Sit, Joel. You need to get a good night’s sleep before you leave.”

He gave you a single nod, but didn’t sit right away, instead turning away and stepping to the large window, pulling the curtains shut. Taking his cue, you twisted around and reached back, doing the same with the window behind you, though that one was open a few inches, the slightly chilly night air making the room more comfortable. When you turned to face forward again, Joel was back in front of you, his hands on the tabletop on either side of your body as he leaned forward. Hi. “Gonna sit now,” he murmured, though he didn’t move away, instead ducking his head closer to yours. “Been a long time since I had someone else cut my hair like this, so you -”

Unable to wait any longer, you closed the final distance between you, taking Joel by surprise with your kiss. But his shock didn’t last long, the man’s hands rising from the wooden table to settle at your waist. The behavior wasn’t typical for you. You didn’t like to appear needy, but with the man leaving for a long stretch, you wanted to soak up all of the best parts of being with him that you could, and it didn’t matter how it happened. And I’d be crazy not to kiss him whenever I have the chance.

The moments you spent with him reminded you of what life had been like. Though most of the memories you had from before everything changed had faded with time, the way he made you feel took you back more than a handful of years. It wasn’t the first time you wished that you could have been with Joel pre-outbreak, the two of you getting to know each other under normal circumstances, and you knew that it wouldn’t be the last, either. But that’s not what this is at all.

Pulling back with a quiet hum, you laughed as Joel’s teeth grazed your lower lip, the man blowing out a long exhale shortly after. “Sorry about that, I couldn’t… couldn’t help it.” You cleared your throat, closing your eyes. “Sit. Back toward me. Move the chair in.” He gave you one last look and then did as you asked, you widening the spread of your legs and settling back a few inches onto the table so that you were more comfortable. “Won’t make it too short, Joel. Just… manageable.” He nodded in agreement, and you took a deep breath, picking up the scissors in one hand and placing the other against the back of his head, hair sticking out between your fingers.

You were adept at trimming the ends of your own hair when it was necessary, and had even had some experience with the children of Jackson, but Joel was different. “Gonna cut all the gray out of there for me?” The man chuckled and you quickly pulled the scissors away, telling him to stop moving. “Sorry. I -” “I said I wasn’t going to make it too short, didn’t I?” You stuck your tongue out between your lips, hand moving swiftly through the strands. “You want the gray gone, we’d need to bring out the clippers, not the scissors. Tilt your head down, gramps.” He did as you asked, a slight tremor running through his body as you trimmed the hairline against the back of his neck, angling the scissors upward. “This may look like shit, Joel. I’ve never done this to a -”

“An old man?” He laughed the words out as you tugged on the ends of his hair to bring his head back up and level, and you couldn’t help laughing, too. “Old. Gray. Cynical. Scarred.”

“Experienced.” Snip. “Distinguished.” Snip, snip. “Realistic.” Snip. Pausing, you pushed on his shoulder to encourage him to turn around and face you. “Still here.” He stared up at you, the look in his eyes unreadable. “No one our age that’s still alive doesn’t identify with at least one of those characteristics, Joel.” But you’re all of them. “And no, I was going to say that I’ve never cut a man’s hair before. Maria always does Tommy’s, and everyone else just kind of … figures it out on their own.” You leaned in again, eyeing the hair over Joel’s ears, and decided to leave as much of the curl as you could. It looks too good to cut. “I need to get closer. Can you -”

“C’mere.” He reached for you, once again settling his hands on your hips. “You needta get closer? Plenty of room right here.” Joel glanced down, and in a split second, you realized he meant on his lap. I… shit. “You’ll be right up close. Eye level.” He was right, but you still hesitated. He’s a goddamn distraction, that’s what he is. I’m trying to cut his hair and he… One hand slid away from your body, Joel reaching down to lock the chair into place, and then he met your eyes again, an eyebrow raised so high it was hidden beneath his hair. “Well?”

“You’re a menace, Joel Miller.” But you were rolling your eyes as you spoke, carefully standing and then lowering yourself onto his lap. He used both of his hands to steady you while you got comfortable, even though you couldn’t brace both feet flat on the floor. “Turn your head to the left.” He did as you asked, and you went back to your task, eyeing the length of the strands and snipping away at them as you focused on his hair, though you couldn’t ignore the feeling of his hands as they rested atop your thighs, fingers flexing every few seconds and his head turning just enough so that he could watch you. Joel, come on. You sighed. “Stop moving. I don’t wanna cut you.”

“Sorry.” You saw his lips twitch, the man fighting to conceal a smile. “But I’ve had worse, even if you did cut me. We both have, and you know it.” That’s true. Much worse. As the metal blades of the scissors sliced through the strands of his hair, you watched as Joel’s posture changed, muscles in his shoulders going rigid and the smile disappearing from his face almost as quickly as it had appeared. Don’t let this happen.

“Hey.” You made another cut and then cleared your throat, scissors pulled away from the side of his head.

“What?” He was looking at you thoughtfully, brows knit together. “You fuck it up? Make -” “No, I didn’t.” Head shaking back and forth, you blinked a few times. “Why does a hairstylist make a good cab driver, Joel?” You saw the look in his eyes change to one of confusion, but Joel didn’t hesitate, telling you that he had no idea. “It’s because they know all the best short cuts.” He laughed before you did, the sound loud in the large room, and you were quick to follow, lowering the scissors so that they were level with your lap. I couldn’t help it.

“You hear that one from Ellie? She likes that kinda joke, and -” “Nope.” Clearing your throat, you shrugged. “That one’s all me. Before… everything, I went to the same woman for all of my haircuts, and she always told me terrible jokes when I was in the chair, and I… I guess I just…” You lapsed into silence, thinking back to the days of beauty salons and at-home delivery services. I haven’t thought about this in years. His grip on your legs tightened, the man’s thumbs pressed into the tops of your thighs and the tips of his fingers brushing the hem of your shorts.

“Got anymore?” He was serious - you could hear it in his voice. “Me an’ Ellie, when we were making our way out west, we … she had a book of ‘em, and I got used to …” He swallowed, never looking away. It was moments like those that reminded you just how human Joel was beneath the tough exterior - even he craved the normalcy of bad puns, the simple reminders of relaxing with friends and family and joking around. Don’t disappoint him.

Gently turning his face in the opposite direction, you began to cut the longest remaining section of his hair - the part that hung over his eye. “I think so.” Biting down on your lower lip, you snipped some of the strands, thinking. “Why … why do bees always have sticky hair?” He hummed in reply, and you felt one of his thumbs begin to move slowly back and forth over your skin, the other hand sliding up a few inches. “It’s because they’ve only got honeycombs to use.” He didn’t laugh at that one, but when you looked to find out why, you saw that he was staring at you, the warmth in his eyes not only amusement but something else, too. What’s he -

“I don’t just want you stayin’ here while I’m gone.” The man’s voice was thick and slightly rough, and when he said your name, you lowered the scissors entirely. He.. he hasn’t… “It’s damn stupid for us to take up two places here in town. Tommy an’ I were talking about how we need to start going through the houses and buildings again, just to make sure they’re all still safe.” He sighed. “Mine’s big enough for both of us. I know I shoulda asked you sooner, but it …” He swore. “I’m real bad at this.” No, you’re not.

“Are you asking me to move in, Joel?” Heart thumping in your chest, you tightened your grip on the scissors reflexively, head tilted to one side. “Because I -” “I am.” He nodded once. “I don’t know why I haven’t before, but it’s been a long time coming, and -” “Ask me again when you get back.” You wanted to say yes, wanted to agree immediately, but you didn’t want to appear overeager. And anything can happen on supply runs. I don’t know that I could stay here without him. “You might change your mind being away from me for so long, Joel.” He laughed again, tilting his head back. “I’m serious! After you see what it’s like when everything’s quiet, you -” “I would have asked even if you and I were both goin’ on this run.” He shrugged, hands still on your thighs. “But alright. I’ll ask again when we get back. You can’t really move anything over here anyway, not with your ankle like that. And it’s not fair to ask anyone else to do it, either.” That was the truth. It wasn’t as simple as finding someone with a pickup truck to help with a cross-town move anymore. “It’s real nice havin’ you here, though. Feels … feels like home again.” That was like a punch to the chest, and you knew that your face gave it away, but you couldn’t help it.

“I’m… I’m glad, Joel.” Squeezing your eyes shut, you took a few moments to compose yourself. “This was just supposed to be a damn haircut, and now we’re…” I tell you a joke, and you get all… serious. Chewing on your lower lip, you returned to the task at hand, leaning closer as you snipped the thick strands of hair between your fingers. “I’m almost done, by the way. Just a couple more minutes.” You refocused on the side of his head, fingers smoothing his hair back into place only a few minutes later. There. Leaning back, you set the scissors on the desktop before shifting your weight as you faced forward again. “Look at me.” He turned his head back toward you, and you lifted both hands, scratching your nails along his scalp to make sure everything looked alright when his hair was out of place, and helping the final stray hairs join the others on the floor. “I think I’m done.” “Yeah?” He didn’t look away, even as you watched his hair fall back over one eye, your fingers following the ends to tuck them behind the top of his ear. “How’s it look?” You look perfect. You… Even before the outbreak, you would have been physically attracted to Joel - and the pictures of him that littered his house as well as the ones Tommy had displayed were proof of that. The years hadn’t exactly been kind to him, but they hadn’t aged him in the way that they had many others, and there were moments when you saw the face of the man he’d been decades earlier - those expressions hidden just beneath the surface and waiting to emerge for a few moments at a time. But it doesn’t matter what he looks like. “I bet you could go down to the bar right now and walk out with any woman you wanted... Even if you told them that I was the one that just gave you this snazzy haircut.”

“Good thing I don’t wanna do that then.” His voice was lower than it had been, the light from the desk behind you reflecting in his eyes. “I want to stay right here.” He shifted beneath you and both of your hands went to his shoulders, steadying yourself. “That alright with you?” Yes. It is. “Good.” He gave you a small smile, leaning back in the chair. You couldn’t help staring at him, eyes moving over Joel’s face to take in the sight of him.

You had plenty of pictures of him - images stored on your collection of memory cards that you’d taken with the camera you’d carried with you across the country after leaving your home. There were others in town that had cameras of their own, and no shortage of people documenting their lives via pen and ink, but since you’d been in Jackson for so long, you’d made it a point to photograph as much as you could - starting with your arrival. Those pictures are so much better than… the ones from the way here.

Maria had been skeptical at first, but when you’d explained it as wanting to be sure that people in the future knew Jackson and the people that lived there - the people that survived the initial outbreak and those that came later, she’d been more supportive. And I was the one that took pictures the day she married Tommy, so of course she didn’t complain. Those pictures - post Jackson arrival - were much less difficult to look at than the ones you’d taken on the way from Illinois to Wyoming, but you knew that when it came down to it, all of them would be a necessary history lesson for the people that came after you, and that made constantly having fresh batteries and a solar charger necessary while the power was out.

He said your name again and you snapped back to attention, inhaling through your nose as Joel’s fingers inched even higher on your legs, his dark eyes focused on yours. “Yeah?”

“You got that look on your face. Like you need someone to distract you.” For every one of the moods Joel had, you had a match, and he was just as adept at pinpointing the changes in yours as they were happening as you were with his. One of the reasons I love him so much.

“Maybe.” Cocking your head to the left, you ran the ends of your nails over the side of his neck. “Know anyone that’d be good at it?” You watched as his pupils dilated, the man’s shoulders rising as he took a deep breath, and you knew without a doubt that whatever happened next, Joel was in control - the way you liked it to be.

“I gotta guy.” Your hold on him changed, breath quickening at the words. “He’s real good at distractions. Actually, he’s real good at a lot of things.”

“He is.” You inched closer to him, the backs of your thighs moving over the denim of his jeans, though his hands remained firmly in place. Very good. “Distract me, Joel. I don’t want to think about you leaving, or about you -” He cut you off with a hard kiss, finally pulling one hand away from your leg and curling his fingers against the back of your head to hold it in place. Joel retreated only enough to take a short breath, and when his mouth met yours again, you focused on his teeth closing around your lower lip and the rough scrape of his beard against your cheek.

You’d had the man in a variety of ways throughout your time together - knew his moods and could read his tells. That night, Joel was fully present, focused - leading at the same time that he was taking cues from you, and at that realization, you whined, the sound escaping from the back of your throat and getting swallowed by him moments before he deepened the kiss, teeth replaced with tongue. You tasted the iced tea from dinner, along with a hint of the spearmint leaves that he tended to chew on absently, and though you didn’t need to, you committed the moment to memory; the two of you in his workshop, tangled together on the chair with barely any space between your bodies. This is how it should be.

It’s going to be what I think about while he’s gone, you admitted to yourself as he pulled back to breathe, eyes opening to stare at you once again. Him and this and - “I’m gonna get you into that bed in a little while, and we’re gonna do this right.” He made a promise, the want evident in the tone of voice. You were nodding as he spoke, the fingers of the hand that still rested on your leg circling over the smooth skin of your inner thigh. “But I want you here first.” That shocked you a little, even though it shouldn’t have. Where else could this have possibly gone? “I want to see if I can make it feel as good with m-” “You already know you can.” Speaking quietly as you leaned in closer, you kissed him again, one of your hands falling to rest against the back of his, halting the movement of his fingers. “We both do.” He laughed quietly as you squeezed his hand and then urged it closer toward the center of your body. “What’re you waiting for?”

He didn’t have to be told twice, Joel’s hand sliding out from beneath yours and fully under the loose material of your shorts. His palm was hot against your skin, the ends of his fingers making their way back to curl around your curves, but the man never looked away, instead maintaining eye contact. “Was just waitin’ for an invitation.” He winked at you, tightening his grip and then Joel was kissing you again, urging your face toward his with the hand on the back of your head as he squeezed your flesh with the other one.

At first, it had been a shock to you to see the differences in his behavior - the way he carried weapons on patrol like extensions of himself compared to the stroking motion of his fingers against the muzzle of Patch, his favorite of the Jackson stable’s horses; the set of his shoulders while he was on high alert as opposed to the way he relaxed back into the seat at the bar or leaned against a doorframe; the way his eyes would narrow as he assessed the safety of any given situation, but soften when he was speaking to you, Tommy or Ellie.

But when Joel touched you, it was with purpose - every time, no matter where you were or what you were doing, and no matter how insignificant the touch seemed. The man was deliberate - he had been that way from the beginning, and as time passed, you’d learned to read into the way he behaved toward you, even when he didn’t realize what he was doing. He didn’t typically initiate physical contact with anyone unless it was a special situation. The man instead preferred to keep his distance and stay out of the personal space of others unless it was necessary to do otherwise. It’s how I knew he wanted more with me - because he didn’t stay away like that. He didn’t even have to say anything.

You shifted on his lap as he dropped the hand from your head to your hip, and felt the bottom edges of your shorts ride up even further, exposing more skin. Draping your arms over his shoulders, you used one hand to play with the freshly trimmed ends of his hair, the man shuddering as the edges of your nails made contact with the back of his neck.

Instead of pulling away, though, he pulled you closer, breathing out through his nose as he bit down on your lower lip, fingers tangling in the hem of the shirt you wore and tugging on it. “Get this damn thing off. I wanna see you.” He wasn’t speaking loudly - lips close to your ear, his voice husky with desire, but you heard him all the same, head nodding rapidly in agreement. “Let me help you.” Raising your arms above your head, you waited, Joel wasting no time in using both hands to rid you of the fabric and letting it drop in a crumpled heap at his feet. “Much better.”

Taking a deep breath, you watched as his eyes tracked the movement of your bare chest when it rose and then fell when you exhaled, Joel’s tongue darting out to wet his lower lip before he met your eyes again. “Is… is it?” You couldn’t help the wavering of your voice - you always got a little flustered when Joel’s full attention was focused on you. And I always will. At his solemn nod, you reached forward, running your fingers through his hair again to pull it back from his forehead. “Good.”

You felt the cool air against your bare back, a slight breeze pushing through the curtains and changing the air temperature in the room, but it wasn’t until Joel’s hands settled on your upper arms and he leaned in, warm breath hitting your skin in a single exhale before his lips pressed against the area just below your collarbone that you felt yourself break out in goosebumps. Oh, fuck.

He kissed his way across your bare chest, hands sliding off of your arms, fingers curling in toward his palms so that he could glide his knuckles down your sides. The only reaction you had was a quiet moan and the slight arch of your back as you waited to see what he’d do next. You didn’t have long to wait, Joel’s fingers straightening out as he got closer to your waist and then pressing against your skin to slip beneath the elastic of the top edge of your shorts. Your lower half moved closer in response, and he finally pulled his mouth away from your skin to look up at you, eyes dark.

You loved seeing that expression on his face, and enjoyed being the one to put it there even more. When you saw his tongue darting out to lick at the top of his lower lip, you surged forward, catching him off guard and using one forearm to hold him in place as you kissed him. He didn’t mind - the growl that left his throat at the first contact of your lips only emboldened you, hips rolling slightly toward his body as his hold on you tightened, his strong hands firmly in place. How did I get so lucky? Finding him…finding this after everything?

You asked yourself that question often; Joel and Ellie the brightest spots in your life, the man’s presence reigniting something in you that for a long time, you’d feared you’d never feel again. “Joel…” You whispered his name as you took a shuddering breath, your eyes closed and your forehead pressed to his. His hands slid down, and you felt as they moved between the backs of your thighs and the tops of his, dragging your shorts down along with them. “Joel, I …”

“Hmm?” You heard the smirk in his voice even though you didn’t open your eyes to see it, and then he kissed you again - softly, lips brushing against yours and then his head turning so that he could speak into your ear. “Gotta talk to me. I can’t read your mind.” That might have been true, but you were pretty sure that you weren’t being subtle about what you wanted from him - or how you were feeling, and so instead of saying anything else, you kissed your way over and down his cheek and toward his neck, finally opening your eyes when you felt the rough scrape of the stubble on his jaw against your lips.

He moved his fingers - the tips of them digging into your flesh and massaging it fluidly, and you sighed as you kissed the thin skin of Joel’s throat, your eyes closing again. You had a favorite spot - the freckle just below and to the side of his Adam’s apple, and that’s where you landed, lips parting to suck gently on the skin. He let out another growl at the feeling, and as you moved on, mouth traveling back toward the space directly behind his ear, Joel lowered his face into the crook of your neck, exhaling with a shuddering breath. He continued to move his hands against your skin, but the longer you stayed like that, the lazier both of your motions became - your kisses growing longer, too, until you were just holding each other.

You craved the closeness with him, and the feeling of his hands or mouth on you were an added bonus, but the truth was that you just liked being around him much more. “We should go to bed, Joel.” You mumbled the words, one hand stroking the back of his neck. “You gotta get some sleep, and I don’t wanna spend the last night we have together for a while sitting up in this damn chair.” He laughed, the sound quiet, and you were aware of the fact that the music from the other room had stopped, leaving the rest of the house in silence. “Why are you laughing?”

“Because you think if we get in a bed that I’m goin’ to sleep.” He sat up straight, meeting your eyes again. “That’s the last thing I’m gonna do with you tonight.”

“Good.” You pressed your lips together. “I’m gonna grab my shirt, and -” “Nope.” You watched one of his eyebrows shoot up, his head moving back and forth slowly. “You don’t need it yet. We’re just goin’ into the other room.” He looked down again, then back up and into your eyes. “Nobody’s gonna see you but me.” You shivered at that, and again when he let you go - pulling his hands away from your body and then resituating your shorts where they were supposed to sit at your waist. “You’re gonna have to stand up.” He said your name, his expression one of amusement. “Unless you want me to roll us in there on this chair.”

A laugh erupted from your mouth at that, head tilting back and your eyes on the ceiling, but you didn’t let Joel go, nor did you make any move to stand. In a minute. Closing your eyes, you let yourself continue to laugh, stopping abruptly when you felt his mouth on your skin again. That time, though, his lips were latched against the top of one breast, the man’s bearded chin rubbing against the nipple beneath it. The laugh turned into a long, low moan and both hands went to the sides of his head, fingers combing through his hair. He… that feels… Pushing your chest out - and more firmly against his mouth, you realized he was still gripping your waist - one thumb swirling over the bared skin beneath your belly button and above your waistband. We were going to get into the bed, we…

But your thoughts scattered as he moved his mouth down, Joel’s tongue dragging over your skin before he took the hard bud of your nipple between his teeth and bit, soothing the sting a few seconds later with a few swipes of his tongue. “Fuck, Joel.” Hands still in his hair, you pulled his face away from your chest, humming. “Bed. Come on. Now.” He let go of you and with a great deal of effort - because you didn’t want to separate from him - you angled your torso so that you could put one hand against the tabletop behind you, using that arm to support your weight as you pushed to your feet - ensuring that the injured one bore no weight. He steadied you with both hands, palms pressed against your ribs, but before you could take a step away from him, you felt his breath against your stomach and his lips followed a few seconds later. What is he…

“Too bad you’re workin’ with one good leg at the moment.” He kissed your skin again, a little lower than the first time. “Because I’m in a real good spot right now, y’know?”

“When you come back, Joel.” It pained you to say it, but you were in no position to stand and let him do what he was suggesting. There was no way you’d remain upright, and the surface of the table was too cluttered for you to sit down comfortably on. “Plenty of time when you come back for us to defile your workshop.” That made him laugh, and he bent down, using one hand to unlock the chair so that he could roll backwards, giving you more space. You hopped a few steps before you reached your crutch, settling it beneath your arm and then moving as fast as you could toward the doorway. “I’ll clean up in here tomorrow before I leave. Just … just come with me, Joel.”

The chair creaked as he stood, and after only a few seconds, you felt his presence at your back, though he didn’t touch or steady you. He wants to, though. You knew the man - knew his behaviors and moods, could read his intentions from across the room, and the feeling was stronger at such a close proximity. “Gonna put on more music, give me a second.” Sure. Fine. That works.

The two of you crossed the hallway and stepped into Joel’s room after he turned the other lights off. The only illumination came from the few smaller lamps that were scattered throughout the large space, bathing the room in a soft glow. You took a seat on the edge of the bed closest to the doorway and then shifted so that you could watch the man as he flipped through the crate of records that he kept next to his turntable before looking back and over his shoulder at you. “Got anything you wanna hear?” Yeah, you. But you didn’t say anything, just shook your head back and forth until he returned his attention to his vinyl collection.

Joel selected a well-worn slipcase and you watched as he laid it on top of the others, pulling the first record off of the player and sliding it smoothly back into the sleeve before replacing it with the new one, the fingers of his right hand moving the needle into place and beginning the album with a faint scratch. You recognized it immediately; lips curving upward into a smile as you closed your eyes and started to hum along. “One of your favorites, hmm?” It was still strange for you sometimes to think that before, bands and musicians had released albums at regular intervals - that music like what was coming through the old, somewhat tinny speakers had been as simple to listen to as clicking a button on a computer keyboard or slipping a disc into your car’s dashboard. I miss that. I miss… “What were you doing in the late 90’s when this came out?” Opening your eyes with the smile still on your face, you watched as he stood up, turning to face you. “Teenage Joel Miller? You -”

“I was a little shit.” He fought to keep his expression even, not breaking eye contact. “Me an’ Tommy were awful. I’m sure my parents wanted to lock us in our bedrooms half the time.” Your lips twitched, but you stayed quiet. “I was already playing guitar, though. Had a cheap acoustic. I was … not good.” He undid his belt, letting it drop to the floor with a clatter and then pulled his shirt off, breaking eye contact as the material covered his face. Your eyes were drawn to his bare chest before dropping to the prominent scarring on his abdomen and then moving back up - finally settling on his face once more. “You would have hated me back then.”

“Probably.” He took a few steps toward you, fingertips trailing over the footboard and then landing on your knee, his touch again sending heat throughout your body. “But I bet you were a cute kid.” I wish I could see a picture of you from back then. You’d discussed going back to Austin someday - to see if his house was still standing, to visit Sarah, to get closure for the man after more than twenty years, but over 1,400 miles each way with only two people was a dangerous endeavor. He and Ellie had been lucky to make a journey of that length once, and you didn’t want to tempt fate. If anything were to happen to him… “Joel?” Your hand rose and so did your gaze, and you were surprised to see that he was still staring at you - not at the bared flesh of your chest, not at the exposed skin of your legs. “Come here.” You tugged on the top edge of his jeans, the button coming undone, and he took a step forward, his hand squeezing your leg once before it slid off of you and onto the mattress next to you, the man bending at the waist and finally closing his eyes only moments before he kissed you.

That kiss was different - more deliberate, and you heard the sound of his zipper, followed by the quiet thuds of his feet on the floor. He removed his jeans without breaking the kiss, leaving him just as undressed as you were - the man wearing only a slightly stretched out pair of plaid boxers. “Scoot.” It was a single word, but you heard the command in it, your body moving backwards and toward the center of the bed before he’d finished. The mattress dipped as he dropped to one knee, climbing into the bed and then crawling toward you.

It never got old - watching Joel approach you with that look in his eyes - his motions fluid, the man’s sole focus on you and what he was going to do to and with you in the following minutes. Because I never quite know. Instead of stopping next to you, Joel lifted a knee and swung it over your lower body, leaning all the way forward and caging you in with his forearms on either side of your head. “We’re both stalling, aren’t we.” He looked surprised for a few seconds, but then nodded in agreement, one side of his jaw flexing. Knew it. Prolonging your pleasure meant that both of you would be awake for longer, which in tun meant that you had more time. But it also meant that he got less sleep - and that was something that you didn’t want to compromise on. “We should change that,’ you whispered as you reached for him, fingers sliding around to the back of his neck and pulling his face down. “How’s that sound?”

Joel’s response was physical instead of verbal, the spread of his legs widening enough to move his hips toward yours - which meant you could feel the bulge below his waist as it pressed against your lower body. Sounds good, then. You lifted your hips to meet his, the friction making you groan loudly in the final moments before Joel’s mouth covered yours again, the man wasting no time and pushing his tongue past your lips and into your waiting mouth. You felt the length of him rubbing against your center, inching up and down with every slow roll of his hips. It was rare that Joel moved slowly with you in bed, but the fact that you couldn’t brace both feet against the mattress gave him a reason to do so - and you the chance to enjoy the new side of him.

But just because he wasn’t moving quickly in that manner didn’t mean that he wasn’t rough in others, and after parting for a short breath, he nearly attacked your mouth again, the force of his kiss pressing your head further into the pillow. You were still gripping the back of his head with one hand, the fingers of the other one digging into his bare shoulder hard enough that you knew it was likely he’d have marks there when you finally let go. “Joel, you…” You sighed when he moved his mouth away from yours, barely getting the words out before he kissed you once more - that one brief.

Without pause, he focused the attention of his lips on the curve of your jaw and then your chin, lingering there while his thumbs swiped slowly over the front of your shoulders. He’s everywhere. You couldn’t help the involuntary reaction to that - hips lifting again from the bed as you tried to get closer, and when you felt him smiling against your skin, you cried out, the subtle shift in expression causing his beard to tickle your face.

“Gettin’ impatient?” He looked up at you without pulling away, but didn’t wait for your answer, instead closing his eyes and returning his attention to what he’d been doing only moments earlier. “I’m not. I’m takin’ my time and enjoyin’ it.” He wasn’t speaking loudly, instead his words reached your ears in barely audible whispers between the kisses he was leaving against your skin. He started with the center of your throat, followed by the side and then moved onto your collarbone - though those weren’t just kisses. Joel’s teeth grazed along the length of one side of your body, and it took you a few seconds to realize that he’d moved a hand to grip your neck, turning your head to the other side and stretching the skin taut before bringing his mouth back up. Oh, he… I… “Tell me if you need me to cool it, alright?”

He wasn’t whispering anymore - instead, he was using something only slightly quieter than his normal speaking voice, and it immediately got your attention. “Wait, what?” Knitting your brows together as you straightened your neck, you swallowed, feeling the minute flex of his fingers at the motion. “Cool it? From -”

“You’ll know.” He raised an eyebrow again, the look in his eyes blazing. “Promise me.” Promise you what? “Gotta say goodbye to you, and I might get carr -” “You’re not saying goodbye, Joel.” This can’t be goodbye. It isn’t. Releasing him and using both hands to push yourself partially upright, you whipped your head back and forth as soon as he let go of you. “But I’ll let you know if you get carried away.” You reached for him again, nodding. “I promise.” He needed to hear the words, and even though you were adamant that it wasn’t the last time you’d be with him, both of you knew that some small part of you was preparing for that to be the case. Anything can happen. It’s safe, but it’s not … completely safe. “I always do.” That was all he needed, his posture changing once again as he urged you to lay back with the hand that had been around your throat before letting those same fingers trail down your chest and between your breasts.

He moved with it, knees carrying him backwards as he inched his way down your body and gave himself better access to your bared skin. The man was focused and you didn’t interrupt, instead choosing to just watch him, taking in the way Joel dug his teeth into his lower lip as he palmed one breast, moving his hand in a slow circle against it before squeezing and then doing the same to the other, eliciting a quiet sigh from you. He moved so that he was kneeling over only one of your legs as he touched you, hand moving lower and the other reaching down to adjust himself through the material of his underwear. The sight of that made you whine again, one hand lifting from the blankets. But before you could touch him, he shook his head back and forth once - and you knew exactly what it meant: wait. I’ll wait if that’s what you want.

He reached the elastic of your shorts and brought his other hand up to assist; hooking his fingers under it and tugging them down - though there was nothing quick about it. “Hips. Lift ‘em.” He groaned the words out and you complied, using your good foot to support your lower body as you rose a few inches. He’s gotta see how much he’s… how much this… He made the most of your help, easing the material - and the underwear beneath it - over your thighs and then lower. It left you completely exposed, and while you felt a moment of panic - like you did every time you were in a vulnerable position, his hands resting on your legs brought you back to even, eyes blinking quickly as you steadied yourself with a deep breath. I’m safe because he’s here.

After flattening his palms against the tops of your thighs, Joel began rubbing at the skin beneath them, slow circles meant to calm you and draw your attention. He’s definitely got that. It only took a few seconds, and you realized he was inching your legs apart, his eyes cast down. The way Joel looked at you felt disarming sometimes; the man’s serious expressions telling almost nothing about the way he actually felt, but in that moment, you knew everything. He wants me. He wants this so goddamn much. “Gonna look all night, Joel? Or are you gonna -” He squeezed one leg, cutting you off, and you inhaled sharply at the feeling of his fingers pushing against your skin. “I’m just asking.” You mumbled the words out with a sigh, and then the man moved again, shifting so that he was kneeling between your legs.

Joel leaned down, nudging the underside of one breast with the bridge of his nose, but it wasn’t his lips that you felt on your body - it was his tongue, dragging over your heated flesh in long, sure strokes before he continued the path down your body and toward your belly. You heard the blankets rustling as he moved, and when he finally did plant a kiss to your stomach, you hummed out his name, reaching for him once more and stroking the side of his face with one finger. “Just want a taste.” His voice once again gravelly, Joel cleared his throat, rubbing his chin slowly over the skin he’d just dampened with his lips and tongue and keeping his eyes locked with yours. How am I supposed to think clearly right now? “A little one.” I… alright. The truth was that you wanted it too, and the denial in his workshop had only been because of the poor location - not because you wanted to tell him no.

“That’s f-” You began to reply but didn’t get far as Joel’s mouth returned to your skin, hands sliding down and between your body and the blankets beneath it. He squeezed, then, as you felt his teeth moving over the crease where your leg met your hip. But you cried out when he sealed his lips against your skin and sucked hard on the meat of your inner thigh, your lower body jolting at the sensation. Oh, fuck. Oh, he… Blindly reaching for him, you felt your fingers moving through the thick locks of his hair, but Joel wasn’t deterred, instead further widening the spread of your legs and then turning his head just enough to move his mouth closer to his destination once he’d released you. “Fuck, Joel, you…”

“Shh.” He mumbled a reply, lips still brushing over your skin as he pressed kisses to it, and then without warning, you felt his tongue flick against you, followed only moments later by his lips. You felt the groan as he tasted you for the first time in nearly a week, Joel’s hold on you tightening to the point that you knew you’d feel it later. But you didn’t care, turning your sole focus back to what he was doing with his mouth and how good it felt. It always does. He never wasted time with cautious licks or tentative kisses; instead Joel approached giving attention to that part of your body the same way that you did when you took him into your hand or mouth.

The apocalypse had taught you many things, but the most important one was that nothing was promised. Time, privacy, space and comfort were luxuries, and when the opportunity arose to be with someone, you had to take it. And he does. We do. You felt each stroke of his tongue as it moved over and into you, the way his nose nudged against your sensitive flesh with each movement. How does he do that? How -

“Joel, please, I -” You didn’t know what it was that you were asking for as he lifted you off of the mattress enough to change his angle, but you knew that you didn’t want him to stop, curling your fingers into the thick, soft strands at the crown of his head and whimpering when you felt a rush of air on your slick skin. He took a deep breath, releasing it before lapping at your skin again, the strokes of his tongue shorter and faster than they had been. But that was short lived, a low sigh escaping from you when he pulled away and let your body settle back against the bedding. What is… why did he stop? He said your name, and at the sound of it, your attention snapped back to him, hand falling away from his head as he rose onto his knees. “Are you alright? Wh-” “Said I just wanted a taste.” He wrinkled his nose briefly, but you saw the fire in his eyes, amusement hidden in their depths. “Remember? Jist a little one.” Your lips parted as you felt him run his hand up your leg again, twisting his wrist so that he could touch you. “But touchin’ you?” He lifted an eyebrow and then winked at you, leaning forward as he crooked two fingers and slid them inside of you. “That’s different.” Your eyes closed, even though you wanted to keep them open, but as Joel continued to move his fingers in and out of your body, you couldn’t help the way you writhed on the bed, toes curling as you bent one knee and flattened that foot on the mattress, hands grasping the bunched up blankets and squeezing. “Hey.” You opened your eyes when he spoke again, but Joel wasn’t looking at you. Instead he was watching the movement of his hand, almost studying the way he was touching you; committing the visual of what he was doing to memory.

He pulled his hand away moments later, and you saw the slickness on his fingers even in the low light, but you weren’t prepared to watch as the man lifted his hand to his lips, bending both and then licking them clean, tongue running along their length as he closed his eyes. You shot into a sitting position, grabbing for him with both hands, and Joel reacted faster than you’d expected, his free hand settling at your waist, the other leaving his mouth and gripping your shoulder. “Enough, Joel.” You whispered the words, angling your head so that you could kiss him while you pushed the waistband of his boxers down. “Need you. Now.”

You tasted yourself on his lips and tongue, but it didn’t deter you, instead it encouraged you, your teeth latching onto his lower lip for long moments before you pulled back, chest heaving. “Yeah?” Rapidly agreeding, he grinned at you, urging you backward until you were laying down again. He followed, but instead of hovering over you, Joel positioned himself next to you, removing his underwear completely before he leaned over, kissing your shoulder. “On your side alright?” He watched you while he waited for your answer, but you didn’t make him wait long, rolling so that your back was to his chest, Joel’s arm curling around your waist to pull you closer. “Feel that?” He spoke into your ear, beard scratching against your jaw. “Feel me?”

“Yes.” Tilting your head back, you sighed as he slid one arm between it and the pillow, your cheek resting against his forearm. “Fuck, Joel.” You moved against him, feeling how hard he was - stiff and hot against the back of your thigh. The position was one you knew well - and both of you liked, and so before you said anything else you lifted your leg enough to rest your calf against his, knee bent and the man’s hand sliding down your stomach and between your legs again. You covered his fingers with yours as he began to touch you, and when he’d found a rhythm, your hips moving together as he pressed against you, you moved yours even lower, fingers grazing against the underside of him, Joel’s growl in your ear low and long. “My turn.” You murmured the words, turning your head enough so that your lips brushed his bearded cheek. “My turn now.”

The second you wrapped your fingers around him and squeezed, you felt his muscles tense, but then he relaxed, the movement of his fingers through the slickness gathered between your legs never faltering. He was solid against your palm, thick and heavy in your fingers, and you only managed a sew strokes - gathering the moisture at his tip with your thumb and spreading it down - before he stopped touching you, covering your hand with his and guiding you with a practiced ease. “Goddamn.” He shuddered as he spoke, burying his face in your neck again as you both moved your hands, the pace languid. There was nothing quite like being so close to him - enveloped in his scent and the feeling of the man pressed against your back, but you wanted more, and so you shifted again, changing the angle of your strokes to wordlessly tell him you were ready.

Removing his hand, he touched you again, using two fingers to spread you open while you positioned him properly, anticipating the coming stretch. With a tiny backward jerk of your hips and a thrust of his, he slid into you, the position limiting the motion slightly. You cried out, biting your lip and turning your head toward the pillow, but Joel was quick to lift his hand and cup your jaw, urging you not to. He let go after a few seconds, the hand trailing down the center of your chest and between your breasts before he settled it on your hip, pulling you backwards as much as he could. I’m so lucky, you realized as he thrust into you, short strokes punctuated by huffs of breath washing over your sweat-slicked shoulder. We’re so lucky.

Twenty years after the outbreak, most people had to be very careful when it came to sex. There was no birth control - no condoms or morning after pills, no real way to prevent pregnancy that wasn’t messy. Jackson was safe, sure, but there were still inherent risks when it came to getting pregnant and giving birth, but that wasn’t an issue when you were with Joel.

You sighed again as he dug his fingers into your hip, reaching your arm backwards to touch him, urging him on with a press of your fingers into his thigh. No, we get to do this whenever we want. You remembered the conversation you’d had about the decision he’d made in his mid 20’s - the prospect of another unplanned pregnancy scaring the hell out of him with a 9 year old at home already.

The topic came up well before you’d even thought about being intimate with each other, and though he’d been candid about it, you knew it wasn’t information he shared with just anyone. Because then there’s expectations, you thought as he slid his hand down your leg and toward your knee, pulling it back more. And he wouldn’t want that unless he was serious. “Harder, Joel.” You panted out the words, turning your head toward him and hoping to find his lips. “Harder, I need -”

“Alright.” Without pulling completely out of you, Joel pushed you forward, your lower body twisting so that your hips were parallel to the bed, the knee against the mattress bent to give you some leverage. The changed angle allowed him to drive himself deeper into you, the hand beneath your body moving to curl around your upper chest, the one at your waist holding you in place as he picked up the pace, thrusting in and out of you in a way that hadn’t been possible before. “Better?”

“Yeah.” You panted the word out, surprised that he was still able to speak into your ear - but thankful for it when you felt him bite down on your shoulder, Joel’s grip on you tightening. “Perfect.” He was smiling against your skin, and at that realization, you let go of him and reached down - giving yourself a few moments to appreciate the way you could feel the heat radiating from your bodies - and then touched yourself, first one finger and then two. You knew that if you could get yourself off, the feeling of it would get Joel off, and despite knowing that there wouldn’t be time for a second round before sleep, you wanted nothing more than to feel him spilling inside of you. Because he can do that. We can do that.

“Already?” He chuckled with a perfectly timed thrust and you sucked in a breath, fingers faltering and then resuming their motion. “That’s what you want?” You managed a nod and he cleared his throat, the vibration moving over the back of your neck. “A’right.” It was only a matter of time before you found the right rhythm, fingers moving at the same time they pressed down, the warmth pooled in your lower belly growing hotter by the second. He felt it at the same time you did; the slight tension in your muscles, and he withdrew, circling his hips slowly before thrusting forward again, the change in pace exactly what you needed to turn the warmth into a raging fire, muscles clenching around him and drawing him in even further. Joel stilled for long moments, holding your shivering body against his and then he was moving again, picking up the pace and swatting your hand out of the way to prolong your orgasm - his fingers deftly manipulating your body even as he rocked into you. “Fuck.” He panted out the word, forehead against your shoulder, the newly trimmed strands of hair damp on your skin. “Oh, fuck, I -”

He came hard and with little warning, even more warmth filling you up in short bursts, but Joel didn’t stop moving, hips still snapping against yours as he came. He stopped moving his fingers before he relaxed behind you, and even though you rolled your hips backwards to meet his when his motions slowed, you could feel that he was spent - his arm heavy over your side, fingers spread wide over your lower abdomen. You were both breathing hard, but he made no move to pull out. Instead he urged you back onto your side, the man’s bent leg caging yours between it and the bed as he pulled you closer.

Rough Joel was gone - instead of teeth and fingers digging into your flesh, the man moved his lips softly over the skin he’d likely bruised and then let the warmth from each exhale glide over your sticky skin while stroking over your belly with his fingertips, your lips pressed against the scarring on the inside of his arm and your eyes closed. I love this man so goddamn much.

You would have been content to stay like that all night - the man softening inside of you as you drifted off. But Joel had other ideas, pulling out of you with a grunt and telling you he’d be right back before he crossed the room to the bathroom, returning moments later with a dampened cloth and handing it to you.

It only took you a few minutes to clean yourselves up and get dressed - it was a rule that you never went to sleep naked, just in case - and then after stripping the top blanket off the bed, you were once again wrapped up in each other’s arms, the room dark and the music turned off. Neither of you spoke - not wanting to interrupt the moment or broach the topic of him leaving the following afternoon, but you finally had to speak, rolling to face him and resting your hand against the center of his chest. “Hell of a send-off, Joel.” It was better to get things out in the open - not trying to hide what you were thinking. “It’s like you -”

“I got carried away.” His hand moved under the blanket, fingers brushing over the spot on your leg that he’d latched onto. “Not like anyone’s gonna know, but…” He cleared his throat, trying to conceal a laugh. “You’re gonna feel it for a couple days, and I -”

“Good.” He turned his head toward you, and even with the lights off, you could see his eyes and the way he was looking at you. ‘And you didn’t get carried away. I encouraged it.” Closing the distance between you, he kissed you again, but it wasn’t a precursor to anything; the man’s lips pressed against yours and then he pulled away, taking a deep breath. “You should get some sleep, Joel. Gotta wake up early and pack, and …” You sighed. “I’ll make you breakfast.”

The two of you lapsed into silence, the crickets outside loud enough that you could hear them. When you shifted closer to the man, he lowered his head, kissing the top of yours and lingering, the arm around your waist tightening. This is almost normal. It’s like he’s going on a business trip. Like he’s going to get on a plane and come back in a few days and… It wasn’t - and you knew it, but you couldn’t deny it any longer. The thought of being away from him for two months terrified you. Not because we’ll be apart, but because… “You alright? You got real tense just now.” Of course he noticed. Clearing your throat, you assured him you were fine and then sighed.

“Joel?” He hummed, but didn’t speak. “If… if we’d met before, where do you think it would have happened?” It was pointless to talk about it, but you were trying to buy yourself a few more minutes with him - moments where both of you were conscious and you could drink in the sound of his voice. “What would your ideal -” “Woulda met you at a football game.” He laughed. “Maybe in the line for a beer.” He paused while you rose onto your elbow, staring down at him. A football game? I can see that. “Or maybe tailgatin’. I would have kicked your ass at cornhole in some parking lot, and then -” “Oh you would have?” It was your turn to laugh, head shaking back and forth. “I think you forget what I was doing when the world went to shit, Miller.” You hadn’t been enrolled at one of the larger party schools in Illinois, but you could hold your own in drinking games like beer pong and cornhole. “I would have embarrassed you in front of all of your friends, and -” “And I still would have wanted your number.” He reached up, fingers moving over your jaw and guiding you down until your lips met. “What about you? You think you would have been interested in a single father twenty years ago?”

“Yes.” You swallowed hard, Joel’s mention of his daughter for the second time that night surprising you. “Yeah, Joel. Definitely.” It was the truth - and you didn’t want him to think otherwise. “But I still wouldn’t have held back with the beanbags.” He snorted, waiting until you’d tucked your head against his shoulder again to continue.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” He was running his fingers up and down your arm lazily, chest rising and falling beneath your hand. “I said a football game. If you coulda met me back then, where do -” You cut him off, immediately knowing your answer.

“You know how in your 20’s, everyone just sort of decided they wanted to be a musician?” He affirmed, and you continued. “My friend group was no different. So.” You paused, letting yourself imagine it. “So, if I could have met you before, it probably would have been in some dive bar with a stage. I would have been there because I promised my friends I’d check their band out, and you’d be there -”

“Because I was lookin’ for cheap beer and live music.” His laugh that time was loud, the motion of his hand stopping as he squeezed your arm. “So, in this scenario, is your friends’ band any good?” “Absolutely not.” You groaned, for the first time in years thinking back to the times you actually had gone to the types of concerts you were describing to him. “I would have been trying to leave as soon as I could have without being rude, and you probably would have tried to convince me that you could play guitar better than anyone on the stage.” Patting his chest with your hand, you went on. “And you said you were terrible back then, so it would have been a lie, but I probably wouldn’t have cared either way.” Not probably, definitely. I definitely wouldn’t have cared.

You were both quiet after that until he said your name. Yeah? “I’m comin’ back.” A chill ran through your body, but you didn’t say anything in return, though you knew that he could see how wide your eyes were. “We all are. It’s just a supply run, and I’m coming back. Here, to you.” He doesn’t make promises, not unless he can keep them.

“Joel, I -” He kissed you hard then, rolling toward you and covering the top half of your body with his. There was desperation in it, and for the first time that night, you felt the old Joel in his actions - the man trying to convince himself with his words and actions just as much as he was trying to convince you. “I know.” You whispered the response against his lips, and then realized that there were tears leaking from the corners of your eyes. “I know you’re coming back.” Your voice shook - but only slightly, and when the two of you were finally laying down again, he held you tightly against his body, lips pressed to the exposed skin at the place where your neck hit your shoulder.

You didn’t know how long it took, but you finally began to drift off, the motion of his chest rising and falling against your back thee only thing making it possible. On the edge of sleep, you felt him shift, and then the man’s lips landed against the spot just behind your ear, lingering there as he tightened his hold briefly. He spoke your name quietly, waiting a beat, and then continued. “I love you, and I promise I’m comin’ home.”

*Divider by @firefly-graphics

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All Pedro:

@raspberrymama @jupiters--moonxx @pretty-brown-eyess @spideysimpossiblegirl @csigeoblue @bport76 @littlemisspascal @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @nicolethered @ezras-channel-rat @quica-quica-quica @moparmama927 @amneris21 @hocuschlocus @withakindheartx @practicalghost @supersingle @paracosmenthusiast @cannedsoupsucks @the-blind-assassin-12 @alraedesigns @pheedraws @missminkylove @hotchlover @phandoz @justanotherblonde23 @scorpiowidow @my-tin-can-mans @chronic-nosebleed @marydjarin @stevie75 @the-rambling-nerd @iamskyereads @pedrostories

Joel Miller:

@frasmotic @extraneous-trip @c4psicle @chronic-nosebleed @wildmoonflower @marydjarin @devikoo @sprocketwheel

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#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #pedro pascal character #pedrostories #joel miller x female reader #the last of us #tlou #the last of us fic #tlou fic #pedro pascal is joel miller #joel miller: we'll feel it all tonight #just too good to be gone #writing #joel miller masterlist #pedro pascal #pedro pascal masterlist #i'm terrified to post this one but here we are

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