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how to ask the demon you've been smitten over for 6000 years to dance: an angel's guide

bonus:

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i forgot to post it here lol

(a bit inspired by mandela catalogue)

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A Compilation of Flashbacks in Chronological Order

As God’s favorite jester I’ve been doing my part getting friends of mine into Good Omens by ceaselessly joking about it. I wrote this moreso for one who wanted to see a timeline of the flashbacks between season 1 and 2, and how they now correlate with newly given context. I thought that was a neat idea, which someone else out there might find neat to see as well.

I tried to keep them all as summaries to encourage drawing personal conclusions, rather than insisting upon my own, but got a little poetically analytical at Soho 1967 anyway. That scene continues to mean so much to me as a hopeless romantic, just like it had the first time. Included also are some snippets from the novel, where I felt the context they provide can still be considered canon to the live action adaptation.

Spoilers to follow for season 2 of Good Omens if you haven’t seen it. Though I don’t know how much sense it will make if you read it anyway. I’m relying on you to have seen all of it in order to fill in the blanks.

BEFORE TIME (S2)

Aziraphale and Crowley meet for the very first time. Crowley, still an angel, is busy setting into motion the Pillars of Creation when he asks for an extra hand. Marveling at the stars themselves, Aziraphale pities how it will all be gone in 6000 years time. Crowley is indignant to the idea the stars he worked so hard to help create will only be “wallpaper”, and decides to speak with someone of a higher authority – aspirationally, God; realistically, only the Metatron, due to the office space nature of Heaven’s bureaucracy – later on about it. As stars fall, Crowley shields Aziraphale with a wing. Deflecting off what appears to be Earth’s own solar system[*].

[*] “Because, underneath it all, Crowley was an optimist. If there was one rock-hard certainty that had sustained him through the bad times […] then it was utter surety that he would come out on top; that the universe would look after him.” (Good Omens novel, p304)

EDEN (S1) – 6000BC

Aziraphale and Crowley meet for the very first time, a second time. Now a demon, Crowley opens their soon-to-be 6000 year long discussion over the concept of morality – “I don’t see what’s so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil.” - and logical fallacy in an infallible being – “Not very subtle of the Almighty though, is it? Fruit tree in the middle of a garden, with a ‘Don’t Touch’ sign. Why not put it on top of a high mountain, or on the moon?” - Crowley

As the first rain begins to fall, Aziraphale shields Crowley with a wing[*].

[*] As Adam and Eve turn away from the Garden, perspective affords enough of Aziraphale’s wing to look as if he’s covering them too. A foreshadowing of sorts for the role he plays as a guardian angel to humanity.

THE ARK DAY (S1) – 3004BC

Aziraphale and Crowley, after presumably not seeing much of each other since Eden, get a chance to talk at the proverbial water cooler. Crowley is shocked to learn Heaven – on God’s order – are planning the Great Flood, which intends to drown everyone within the local region of Mesopotamia, including children. There is a visual gag when Crowley asks “Not the kids, you can’t kill kids?”, both children and young goats run past the two, which ends up relevant to his actions in Job.

“That’s more the kind of thing you’d expect my lot to do.” - Crowley

BOOK OF JOB (S2) – 2500BC

Crowley has a permit from God to do whatever he wants to Job; Aziraphale, having not got the memo, goes to intervene. Several notable themes become established in this flashback:

Initially Aziraphale is relieved to find that it’s Crowley, most likely recalling their conversation about the Great Flood. He insists on his belief that Crowley is, at heart, a good person. But as the angel Crowley once was, rather than as the person he currently is.

Aziraphale also finds himself standing in a similar position to Crowley during 3004BC, in disbelief that God would do something so cruel to Job for no reason. The Great Flood had reason, however weak. Job, on the other hand, is a reasonless wager.

It is the first time, maybe even the only time, Aziraphale and Crowley really listen to what the other is saying with empathy. Visually, they appear stranded together at sea.

“But what am I?” “You’re just an angel who goes along with Heaven as far as he can.” “That sounds, um.” “Lonely? Yeah.” “But you said it wasn’t.” “I’m a demon. I lied.” - Aziraphale & Crowley

GOLGOTHA (S1) – 33BC

The next time we see them together is at the crucifixion. Most likely they’ve run into one another between Job and now, but possibly haven’t been afforded conversational amounts of time. A significant moment for both characters in different ways, which will become their ongoing pattern. Crowley informs Aziraphale of his change in identity, no longer going by Crawly[*]. Aziraphale now comes across as numbed to the cruelty of Heaven, with the context of Job behind this scene. Unsurprised, albeit unaligned with the events taking place.

[*] A fact he’s more than willing to share with Aziraphale. One can assume Hell only learns this vicariously, if at all: “What’s he going by these days?” (Ligur, S1); referred to as Crawly in 1941 by Furfur throughout (S2, subtitles pending corrections per Gaiman); “Changed his name? YUCK!” (Hastur’s book on Angels who walk the Earth, wherein Crowley is mentioned in the entry on Aziraphale, S2)

(In season 1, they have encounters during 41AD, 537AD, and 1601 that aren’t especially necessary to summarize for any new context now provided by season 2)

EDINBURGH (S2) – 1827

The philosophical discussion on moral grey areas is opened.[*]

“But people get a choice. You know, they cannot be truly holy unless they also get the opportunity to be wicked.” “Yeah, but that only works if you start everyone off equal. You can’t start someone off [poor] and expect her to do as well as someone born in a castle?” - Aziraphale & Crowley

“Trouble is there’s never enough murderers. […] No one cares if you cut up murderers.” “If we can’t cut, we can’t learn. If we can’t learn more, a lot more, then how on earth are we going to win the battle against monstrosities like [tumors]? I’m just trying to save lives, and teach students. I either end up with a Knighthood, or condemned as a Resurrectionist and hanged from a rope.” - Dr. Dalrymple

Crowley behaves carelessly, drinking the entire glass of laudanum both as a good deed to prevent Elspeth from committing suicide, and as an excuse not to be held responsible for doing good (being a demon). He has a microsecond of confidence that Hell did not notice, before being dragged down.

[*] Just a fun fact, in the novel this conversation is had in 1020, and again in 1023 when Crowley manages a suitable comback. I always thought that was really funny.

ST JAMES PARK (S1) – 1862

Crowley and Aziraphale have a clandestine meeting at the park, wherein Crowley asks him for holy water as “insurance”. One can assume that whatever happened in the “quite some time” between 1827 and the 1860s to Crowley has him acting in a more calculated manner. The couple had never been especially discreet in their meeting one another before now, Crowley appears to be the one creating the distance. He refuses to actually tell Aziraphale what he needs it for, other than “insurance”. The lack of communication causes an argument that splits them apart, all on the grounds of a misunderstanding.

THE BLITZ (S1) – 1941

After not having spoken for a little over 90 years following their fight in 1862, Crowley arrives unannounced and unexpected to crash Aziraphale’s nazi spy church party. It is, ostensibly, a grand gesture on his part. Unlike any other time they’ve met, he’s there solely of his own choice with no strings attached or Arrangements to be honored.

Crowley places his trust in Aziraphale to protect them when the bomb drops. Aziraphale’s faith in Crowley is rewarded by his selfless act of saving his books. They are both rewarded by God with falling the fuck in love.

THE BLITZ (S2) – 1941

We now understand Crowley’s actions at the church were a dangerously large sacrifice of his own well being: rescuing an angel (something already known to be frowned upon), entering hallowed grounds (something a demon cannot do unless invited, implying he has to of been, at some point, by some angel, or at the very least an angel has to want him there – the angel is Aziraphale, sorry I don’t prescribe to the former arch angel Crowley theories), harming humans Very Directly even if in an indirect manner, the list kind of goes on.

But the couple are absolutely honeymooning, interacting again after so long. Despite Crowley trying to keep a distance between them, by disengaging at the mention of being friends, he falls back easily into their routine of goofy shenanigans. Arguably, as careless as he had been in 1827.

They’re confronted later by Furfur with evidence of their fraternization, Aziraphale’s sleight of hand causes it to be only a near miss. It’s the first time the audience gets to see Aziraphale do something that protects Crowley, from a kind of harm that would go beyond being discorporated.

SOHO (S1) – 1967

More of an analysis than a summary:

It stands to reason that Aziraphale is a smart enough being, the events that happened in 1941 were enough for him to put two and two together about the kind of danger Crowley is actually in being his friend. The constant surveillance he’s under, and Hell’s penchant to find out. Giving him the holy water implies more about the significance of their relationship to Aziraphale, that it is above all else worth protecting. I can only imagine, the reason it happens over 20 years later, as opposed to “immediately”, is simply because Aziraphale didn’t find it absolutely necessary to do. Only after he catches wind that Crowley intends to rob a church, aware of the risk he poses to himself if not scrupulously careful handling holy water, does Aziraphale find more than enough reason to give him holy water and trust him with it. It’s the least he can do in that moment.

At each other’s grand gesture, they ask the same question of what they can do to say thank you. Interestingly, they give the other the same answer, in a different way to mean mostly the same thing:

“Forget about it, would you?” - Crowley

“You go too fast for me, Crowley.” - Aziraphale

They’re both always going to be in danger of being together or helping each other, so long as Heaven and Hell exist and they exist within it. Until something can be done about the system they’re stuck in, it will always be this way. Distance between them, then, must be inherent. Aziraphale can’t afford giving Crowley reasons to act carelessly, he’s proven himself far too capable of doing so. Crowley can’t afford Aziraphale getting close, because he knows he will get careless. Of course, it’s not what either of them actually wants. What they want is to spend an infinite amount of time together, doing an infinite amount of things, within an infinite universe full of infinite possibility.

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“But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas."

I’ve seen the Omelas theory relating to the Metatron’s beverage, implying connections to Leguin’s Those Who Walk Away From Omelas and given how much Gneil likes Ursula Leguin’s writing, it wouldn’t surprise me to know that it’s right.

Oat Milk Latte Almond Syrup

The premise of the short piece of writing is a utopian place called Omelas where everything is pristine and perfect and people are content with the way things are. Only there is a condition to live in this society and that condition is that a single child must be kept in misery and squalor in the darkness, alone, unloved and abused. Children are shown this child and told that this is the condition of their place.

If the child were brought up into the sunlight out of that vile place, if it were  cleaned and fed and comforted, that would be a good thing, indeed; but if it were done, in that day and hour all the prosperity and beauty and delight of Omelas would wither and be destroyed. Those are the terms. To exchange all the goodness and grace of every life in Omelas for that single, small improvement: to throw away the happiness of thousands for the chance of the happiness of one: that would be to let guilt within the walls indeed.

Doesn’t this sound very much like the Good Omens version of Heaven? Where there are conditions for how you can treat humanity? Where you have to let them suffer and die for this undefined Good that you claim to be doing?

But for some people, this is too much to bear and those people choose to leave. “Sometimes also a man or woman much older falls silent for a day or two, and then leaves home. These people go out into the street, and walk down the street alone. They keep walking, and walk straight out of the city of Omelas, through the beautiful gates.”

One day, an angel saw it all and that day, he walked away. “They walk ahead into the darkness, and they do not come back.”

“We’re better than that. You’re better than that, angel. We don’t need them.”

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Woooow Eclipse has his own candy, can’t believe my eyes!!

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I will be really grateful for reblogs, it was pretty exhausting...

Thank you and have a FAZ-eriffic day

Edit: THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS!! I'm so glad you like this artwork, it's so nice to read your comments hehe

Also it's the opportunity to say that I allow people to use my artwork as prints and posters (but not for commercial purposes please), if they really want to! That's kinda flattering tbh

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when the moon covers the sun, they finally get to see eye to eye,,☀️🌙

bonus:

✨Lofi beats to clean ur daycare to✨

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Petition to change the ship name from ineffable husbands to patron saints of divorce

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Aziraphale please! He’s been through enough!!!

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they saved the Earth -- now what? WE GET TO FIND OUT IN 5 DAYS, AAAAH ‼️

🌍🌎🌏

yesterday's good omens 2 countdown piece was posted by @blairamok, and tomorrow's will be posted by @tweedfeather!

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You'll be great, sweetie :)

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Snek 👀, what are you getting ready for! :D 🐍

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i’m sorry? what did you just say to me?

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Man, I hope the Job minisode is a showcase of the first time Aziraphale and Crowley find themselves agreeing with each other on something, bc it would just be so fucking satisfying. I want to see Aziraphale realize there really is no reward for blind obedience, I want Crowley to talk about how absolutely fucked up it is you can be faithful to someone your entire life because you truly believe they'll keep you safe, only to end up putting everyone you love at higher risk for it, I want them to fail noticing the parallels and I want Aziraphale to tell Crowley he's right so very, very much.

Show me the first time they ever agreed they needed to unionize fucking SHOW ME IT.

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I'm really starting to fall in love with the idea of crowley and aziraphale as "not one or both knowingly pining for the other, but a secret THIRD thing (absolutely unaware they are in human love)" the promos have been putting forth, because I just find that idea so fucking funny.

Crowley comisserating about how, yknow, creating original sin and all that, made sense at the time for it to take til the end of the world just to be considered a friend, but a guy tries to murder you in cold blood and suddenly it's all oh turn the other cheek let bygones be bygones, we're his fRiEnDs. Does he have any idea how that makes me feel? I break him out of jail, I spare him having the most embarrassing cockup I've ever seen, I invested in Hamlet. Six thousand years of me sticking my neck out for us, and I'm the one that "goes too fast"; I'm setting a record as the longest turnaround on a Job parable than even God has seen.

And Nina, thinking he's being hyperbolic, recommending him a very good couple's therapist. I mean, it ended in divorce for her, but that doesn't necessarily mean it couldn't work for them. Climb every mountain and all that, I'm sure it's just a rough patch, every marriage goes through that at some point.