#* i just wanna feel like i matter to somebody and ppl see me

[brokentoys]

is it me or .... are people just more reluctant to follow blogs now? or maybe the RPC is just not as big as it once was and it feels that way? now, i'm not saying this is a bad thing -- after all, ppl are def free to have their boundaries and choose to write with whoever. but... i am noticing it's way harder to new blogs o' mine to gain traction. like i have blogs that practically "fail" just because nobody rly wants to interact with 'em or follow me back. HELL, when i started this blog, it actually took 3 months before i started getting new followers. for those 3 months, i only wrote with like 3 other ppl and those were friends or followers of my prev blog. and it's not a reaching out prob because like, i ACTUALLY did follow others and either never got any follow backs, or got a declined message (which that's fine too) and now this blog has a fairly good amount of followers.

but like i've had blogs that i've given up on or practically gave up on BECAUSE i have barely anyone to write with. usually it's my more niche muses with no rp scene. but like why i think this must be a new thing is because i was actually looking through my old RP graphics and i found some from a blog that was around 2016. it was another niche muse from a very old show (liek 1960s) and liek that fandom ALSO had no rp scene yet i had a "follow forever" graphic for reaching 200 followers???? that was so long ago that i don't remember much on that blog, but to see i had that many followers is just surprising. that's liek half the followers i have here.

and it just makes me wonder if people have just become more reluctant? more reluctant to follow and more reluctant to get out of "comfort zones" and write with characters they're not as familiar with? which again! is ok. if somebody wants to keep writing with characters they know, that's fine. but it does get a lil disappointing when you have ideas and they virtually go nowhere due to disinterest. it also just makes me wonder why things seem to have changed. is it due to how toxic the rpc became? is it bc the rpc in general is less active? is it because ppl just decide to stick to familiar canons / ocs 'cos that's more fun to them? hmm.

i guess to end this on a final note is that... personally, i care about muses but i don't care about them at the same time. like the whole reason i LOVE RPing and why i did it in the first place isn't to write with certain characters, it's to place my silly blorbos into situations -- it doesn't matter WHAT situation it is. it doesn't matter if we're doing "tails gets trolled" style rps and crossovers. my goal is to have batshit insane fun with other people. that's why i do follow muses from canons i've never heard of. it's also why i struggle to fill in interest checkers or when a mutli asks "what muse do you wanna write with?" because frankly? i'd be happy to write with ANY muse. like you can throw any muse at me, and i'm happy. oc? canon? niche canon? unfamiliar canon? i want it all.

[teddybeartoji]

you made me wanna rewatch (can't play) both of tlou games,,

i really loved the vibes of both games mainly, since you can only follow as the story unfolds - i have to admit that while your favorite is the second, mine was the first. i am weak to selfish people, i love selfishness, not necessarily as a default but more as a proof of pure individuality and i am obsessed with the ideas associated with individualism

so when joel made that choice against everything? against the entire world? against himself?? hell, even against ellie herself???? went a bit insane with that

i read the whole thing u just wrote, have to admit it has been a long while since i watched, so there's stuff i didn't get at first because i needed time to remember the names... anyways if i do go through and watch it i'll have to read your commentary again

side note but i love people that really like something and can talk about it in extended detail, i find it fascinating and there's always a new element i can learn

i also have to admit i didn't like abby because well.. an antagonist to the previous protagonists... and since i am the type to side with the protagonist no matter what.. (i actually some bojack analysis videos this afternoon and ig that's the only media for now that challenged that)

well anyways i do remember still siding with her, admiring how strong she was - and when she got close with lev?? say less good lord (i get attached to characters who are trans/have trans implications in media VERY quickly, esp when i watched tlou2 at a time where i was heavily struggling w gender (still am but repressing so it's not as bad))

overall the writing is truly impeccable, i love me some good characterization

i remember watching videos criticizing tlou2, especially its pacing - i think i agreed back then even though to me it wasn't a problem at all while i was watching. as a last info, i'll just say i havent gotten around to watch the series adaptation... i am very scared it'll disappoint and i just loved the games too much it doesn't feel necessary (even though i am the type to want to go through ALL of a media's content usually otherwise it stresses me out)

saw you were having some trouble sleeping, know that you are not alone 🥲 i feel like i'm going insane

~ ☀️

HIII SUNNYYY HIIIIII:333 I OFTEN WATCH GAMES TOO BTWW!!!!! i actually tend to always watch a playthrough as i play a game lmao,, like i'll watch it as far as i've played bc i love to see how somebody else solves the puzzles and the encounters and stuff!!!!!!!!!!

i do still really love the first one too don't get my wrong!!! i think it's fucking revolutionary like it's an incredible fucking game!!!!!!! the choice that joel makes... insane really. i absolutely love it. it does kill me just a little just knowing how much the choice he makes will bear down on ellie........

AHHH I KNOWW I KINDA JUST SPITBALLED i thought abt giving more context to some of the thoughts but i figured then it really would get a little bit too confusing with all the information lmao BUTTT I'M SO HAPPY YOU STILL DECIDED TO READ IT!!!!!! I MEANS SO MUCH ACTUALLY WAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! ILYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i definitely understand why people would be upset with abby, i think that's very very normal and i mean.. i was very upset too lmao but i've just seen so many ppl blatantly hating on her and for what she's done and i think that's the stupidest thing ever honestly. like even if you're mad and sad about joel... you should still be able to look at the whole thing from her perspective right??

like imagine if we never saw ellie's and joel's side; ofc the vaccine is one thing - joel took away even the mere POSSIBILITY of a vaccine and no matter how much ppl wanna bash on the idea of developing one, i think that hope really is something that dies last okay. i don't think the fireflies are wrong about believing in that. idk how much i personally would've been willing to do for the cause but yeah i really don't blame them. so when a mf comes in with the immune kid, only to then kill the ONE person who'd be able to make the vaccine and like a million other fireflies alongside with him..... yeah i mean that just makes him sound like a psycho doesn't it lmao

i think it is enough of a reason to go after him AND AGAIN I DO LOVE JOEL I'M BASHING HIM (lol) BUT I'M JUST TRYING TO LOOK AT THE WHOLE THING FROM BOTH SIDES YK? so i really do hate when ppl don't even TRY to see it from her angle...

TLOU2 IS SOOOOOO WELL-WRITTEENNNN!!!!!!!! like so fucking well!!!!!! it hurts so much and it just keeps punching you in the face but that doesn't make it bad yk? i feel like it's all very very realistic. it's fucked up, but that's just how the world is.

AND LEVV!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOVEEE HIMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! genuinely love the fact that they have a lesbian and a trans character as the main characters (and abby with her physique bc that's just not smth you see all the time either)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i absolutely fucking adored how they handled his storyline. with how abby handled it when the other seraphites called him by his deadname and all that. and when yara told the entire story and then the whole thing with the mom... ahh that really broke my heart he really is my son i love him sm:((((((

i would definitely disagree with the pacing thing actually!!!!! to me it really fit the way the story was progressing yk?? like obviously the start is slow bc ellie and dina are only getting into the city and they have nothing to worry abt other than the few infected as they're looting and tooting around. and then right after they do meet them it all starts getting faster and that too just felt very fitting. bc it was all chaotic!!!!!!!!!!!!! i felt like that kept me on my toes even more!!!!

mmm the show.... it had some cool moments. i did really like how they did the bloater scene buuuut overall it was a bit meh actually. i think for me it was too just bc i'm such a big fan of the games. like my hopes might've been too high. and i just hated that they changed so much; like the fact that they don't have spores in that??? that's such a cool detail so idk why they decided to leave it out. i do think that the actors were good though!!!!

but uh i won't be watching the second season. 1. they casted a bunch of zionists as the main ppl so yeah fuck that shit 2. they casted a little like 5'3 skinny actress as abby😐😐like be so fucking serious rn. i think her being jacked as shit is a very important part,, i think it's good to have that kind of a rep but ohh no they just casted the little twig. it's a hard no from me.

OMFG THIS TURNED INTO ANOTHER WORDVOMIT AGAIN HGSAFAGHSHAGSA DAMN ANYWAYY I HOPE I ANSWERED EVERYTHING I FEEL LIKE I'M ON A ROLL SO IT'S A BIT HARD TO ACTUALLY FOCUS LMAO BUT WAAHHH IT'S SO GOOD TO HAVE PPL TO TALK ABT TLOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAH MWAH MWAHH ILYY!!!!!!!

[demonsfate]

munday topics ! // accepting // @electricea asked . . . 6, 7 and 8

6. excessive ooc

Honestly... for the MOOOST part, I don't care about "excessive ooc". even though I tend to worry that I post too much ooc LOL. yes, ppl can have "personal blogs" to post ooc stuff to but like. I just understand that behind the muses, there is a real person with real feelings who might wanna share lil details of their lives. Especially when they have more followers on their rp blogs who are more likely to listen & respond than their personal blog does.

There are a couple scenarios where I will draw the line. That being if there is just no in character content. Like they've been logging on every day for weeks just to make several ooc posts and nothing more. Then I may unfollow just because, at that point, I question if I'll ever be able to actually write with them because they're not giving any ic stuff lol. Or when like they just SPAM the dash with reblogs that have NOTHING to do with their muses. I'm not saying musings or aesthetics posts - because those still pertain to the muse. I'm saying when they reblog stuff from other fandoms that have zilch to do with their blog. For example, it'd be like if I were to start reblogging lots of Death Note, lots of Supernatural, and lots of Bluey despite the fact that my blog is Tekken lol. Now that I find annoying bc I'm wondering really WHY can't you use a personal for that? Of course, ppl are always free to do what they want with their blogs - but that's one thing I don't get.

7. DNIs in rules

I'm like what you were saying, I will follow them if it's somebody I know I'm not gonna end up writing with anyone due to different fandoms or having never followed each other. Or if like, they have concrete proof that this person is to be avoided. But liiiiike... when ppl just drop a username in a DNI and has no other available information... I just can't help but wonder if that person did anything or if it was a personal spat between the two muns. Especially because I've been a personal "victim" of ppl telling their mutuals to not interact with me, that I should just delete, and saying just horrible untrue garbage about me. All because I wrote with sb they didn't like. (Though they were also infamous about pretending to be somebody's friend, then dropping them and suddenly acting like they're the Worst Person Ever with no actual evidence)

I understand if muns wanna set boundaries even if they simply don't like the other person, or they had a personal drift or whatever. But like... I'm gonna be honest, there are def ppl in the RPC that I don't care to see on my dashboard. But I don't think I'll ever have a DNI. I just use X-Kit, X-Kit Rewritten, and the Tumblr block feature to avoid them. Which yes, sometimes they might still "slip through" but like... if I just see them once in a blue moon, it's not gonna matter much to me. And this even applied to those who bullied me as I mentioned above.

So yeah, I do try to follow DNIs if it's one of my mutual, but I do often question the validity (sorry but with the past, I can't help but to) and well... I also have to apologize if I end up writing with sb in a "DNI" because I swear it feels like more and more ppl are having DNI lists now and it's like... when you're following nearly 200 people, it's probs hard to remember who's in a DNI and who's not, y'know? But like I also said, usually those in DNI lists tend to be in different fandoms than I am, anyway.

8. reblog karma

I don't follow it. I mean, of course, I'll always reblog posts from the source & send people in one (WHEN it's applicable. Obvs I'm not gonna send a smut / ship meme to somebody who my muse has no relation with) But like... people rarely follow reblog karma so I just see little point in enforcing it lol. Like even IF somebody does reblog from the source, you can always tell they reblogged it from you without sending you one. And honestly? I don't get wtf people even do that for when it comes to munday asks or headcanon asks. Like why? There is literally zero excuse for it. Shy? Send it through anon. It doesn't fit your character? It doesn't have to because it's just asking my character / or the mun a question. Like literally. That shit actually annoys me but again. What can you do? I'm not gonna demand ppl ... but I still never understand it.

And I understand some ppl say it clogs up the activity if it's reblogged straight from them. But honestly... I've just never had that problem before lmao. Like I've had personal blogs reblog memes I've made and those memes can get up to 20+ notes, and it still never bothers me. (Especially when a lotta times in Modern Tumblr Age, notifs for a single post tends to become one block)

I could actually complain more about this but uhhhh. I think I'll leave it at that. djfndjsf

[kreuiza]

oh dude some guy got mad lowkey yesterday

i’m starting to be evil >:)

nah but tell me why this mf asked “what are we”

WE ARE GANG MF tf you mean wHaT aRe wE

we ain’t shit i’m not serious about you and you should know that because i told you straight up i am not serious about you

and he got jealous 😭

cuz i was texting my hb and he was like who are you texting and i told him why does it matter then his phone went off and i told him go text yo girl (it was a random notification he tried showing me and i didn’t even look)

either way

just bro we aren’t serious we don’t even do nun we friends 😭

i fw seeing you every now and again but what do you want me to say?

we are working on us and we are getting together rn 😍😍😍

bitch as if

AND WORSE OART HE ISNT EVEN SERIOUS ABOUT ME so why tf do you want me to be serious about you???

like mf we both go do our own shit literally all the time why tf do you care who i’m talking to and i told him it’s an guy and he’s like how come you don’t respond to my text? mf cause tf do we have to talk about????

i respond to one person like everyday

everyone else it’s random

idk why ppl think rn is the best time to try and get with me no offense and sorry but i told all yall im not ready for a relationship and honestly i don’t want to be in one im good im not broken or hurt i just want to give me some time ive never had time for myself and got to relax and not jump from relationship to relationship

and i don’t even take talking stages seriously mostly cause i don’t give a fuck about you to the extent that i will if we aren’t together

like i gotta be sure im not bout to look stupid giving my ALL to somebody that im not even fckn with

like tf do i look like?

either way i told him i wasn’t serious and we just talk like once or twice and don’t see each other for a while until we do again and he was jealous of the hb and asked me who it was and why i was texting him and i was being a bitch CAUSE I THIUGHT HE DIDNT CARE and said dw about it it’s the main person i wanna get with so if it isn’t him we can get together 😭

i might be a bitch but i thought that’s how we were playing it he was texting girls last time too so why tf would i care what im saying

def not ready for a relationship i might be bitter rn

then some other guy told me “imma think you just weren’t serious”

dude i am not i found out you’re a hoe and at first i took you fr and i was gonna lyk when i was ready for a date but i don’t want to date someone who’s gonna disregard me yk

and you’re cool and all and i did think about it at first but for the most part ehhh

just what did you think was gonna happen i just fall head over hella in the span of a day or two?

like yall aren’t that special and honestly speaking im difficult

i don’t do that easy shit either keep texting me while i don’t respond and eventually i will or stop and we won’t speak again which yeah shitty in my opinion i get that but it’s also a thing of why wouldn’t you be serious but it’s also a red flag if they do it

it depends like i appreciate the one or two text every now and again to know they haven’t forgotten about me and im still on their mind i had some guy do that a while back like id go ghost a lot and he sadly got the worse of it and he would come in and out and just send me random text asking if i was okay and if i needed anything he was right there and i loved it he was a sweet heart

i don’t expect every second text me “I LVOE TOU TEXT ME BLABLABKA” just a text that you think of me still yk?

either way i’m good rn it just feels like i gotta wait out everyone trynna “get” with me because it’s just cause it’s recent and the “easiest” time to get with someone

like logically speaking that’s what it is it has nothing to do with me it’s just “oh she just got out of a relationship and she got hurt so she’s gonna want some comfort” it isn’t anything genuine no one is genuine anymore

[aywelife4go]

So.. i got sick of my IG account

It has been a while since i got some likes from somebody and the only ppl who give me those are my friends. And even that’s getting fewer.

I tried to come up with a reason.

1. Is it bc of lack of communication?

2. Is my drawing not a trend?

3. Is my drawing sucks?

[1] I don’t use my drawing account for communication bc i communicate with people on my daily life account and it feels so awkward when i try to write something down. Especially writing ‘long’. It’s like i wrote something on my diary in the midnight and feels so cringy when i look it again after i wake up. I don’t prefer writing down for that reason. And the main thing is that my drawing account ended up having only viewers that they know me in offline. I’m afraid of my problems or thoughts being disclosed to known people. Like.. you know. It might be heterogeneous to them that a gal that looked relaxed and humorous actually is having a rotten mind af. But this one looks pretty friendly to write and since no one watches, i might be able to write some freely.

[2] When i looked around to my friends’ drawing accounts, they seems to draw something aesthetic. Like going to karaoke, taking a selfie,etc. They also draw characters from anime too. Anyway, the point is that they draw something that people (especially in my age 16) like. They sometimes draw what kids ask them to draw as well. They get a lot of comments of their drawing beloved or even get some offer for joining drawing club. That might be bc they are good at communicating with their friends and know what they want. That’s their talent and what i envy for. I love my arts so bad, but when I imagine my friends looking at my drawing,,,,nah,,I mean my friends in overall are so cute and positive. And of course I always feel so thankful to my viewers too but i..i actually wanna get some comments.. i sometimes confused whether my viewers are clicking like bc they really like my post or just clicking bc they are my followers or friends. Mostly those might be latter, but i wish they at least looked at my post for seconds and think that’s pretty nice.

[3] I can be sure about this. I draw well than any other people around me. I know the shading best, lighting best, and I make angle the best. To see this objectively, i have more techniques than any other kids and i have an experience of winning in poster design contest held in school. (Sounds petty, but it was quite a big one that my design has been made into a banner!!) But the thing is that I was trying to figure out in youtube one day why my account doesn’t grow up, they only said “hashtags don’t matter. Contents are important. Try to improve your contents then your account will grow up.” < does that mean my drawing sucks..? is it not enough to get attention yet?? All i wanted was just getting a few likes from strangers! Even just 10 likes! But yeah,, that would mean more than that.. I could just draw what people like. And follow the trend. But I can’t lie myself that my style is this creepy deepy one and it’s my identity. It’s my brand. I dk how to get rid of this one but they also say that post things frequently is the best. Even that i can’t do that! I’m a highschool student and have to focus on preparing for university. That’s the saddest thing about getting older.

If you’re reading until from here, i guess you might have a bit of impression on this and I politely ask you to be my first fan

It might had been little hard to read cuz i’m not living in English culture. But why am I writing in English? That’s because i feel awkward too when i write something in main language..

And you know what? I’m writing this shit at 5am! I might throw this shit out if i feel cringy again after i woke up. Whatever i wish you guys have a nice day and there’s a reels of this one so please check that out too :)

P.S. why i can’t copy and paste in here? I was trying ro put URL for the reels but i can’t

you can see my IG account on my bio and if you’re really interested to type my account yourself just to look around it i’ll be so touched..🫶

[monumentalslutt]

i hate change and everything is different and it’s all literally changing right in front of me. i’m watching everything get more and more fucked and i don’t know how to stop it or fix things. i don’t want anything to change i wish shit just stayed the way it was forever. i see no point in this shit no more n all i be thinkin about is offing mhself but hoping that someone would find me before it’s too late. but ik in reality nobody would find me before it’s too late and that shit scares me the most. im too pussy to do shit because i know that nobody will come runnin to miraculously save me and i know that it would be the end. i hate everything n i don’t know how to fix it. i’ve been trying so hard n doing everything everyone’s been telling me too and nothing is fixing anything. i got a job, fuckin try to make plans w my friends, i have things to look forward too, i try doing things like reading or shopping to make myself feel better and nothing is working. everything that used to make things better a little temporarily doesn’t do anything anymore n no matter how hard i try it just seems to stay the same or get worse. and i cant even tell anyone this because like first of all that’s so embarrassing and no i just don’t like that but i feel so fuckin alone man. literally just cryin in my room writing a whole fuckfest of my feelings and the first things i be thinkin listening to sunbeams by lil bo weep on repeat. they said that not having a job n not going to school was bad for my mental health n that getting a job would be good for me but i don’t feel any different. i just stand in a store for 5 hours a day instead of laying in my bed. n i feel like everyone is ditching me, feel like i’m not good enough for any of them. nothing feels the same it feels like everyone is treating me differently and i feel like i’m being forgotten or replaced by everyone. i don’t know why and i hate that i cant control how i think like that. everyone is drifting away from me and i can’t fix things because i get so mad and upset when i feel like this so i be making shit worse and idk why. and i cant stop fuckint crying and i feel like such a fucking cringe loser but the more i type the more i be fuckin crying dawg. i wish everything was different and i wish other people depended on me as much as i depend on them. everything is shit n my rooms a mess and i cant even stay on top of shaving my legs and shit. can’t even burn myself and can’t even cut myself. i’m just sick of bein me and i’m sick of nobody knowin or caring abt the way i think. bitches just assume i’m a cunt because i wanna be a moody cunt but i don’t know why i do that either n i’m sick of being controlled by my emotions n i’m sick of being here brahhh i just want to be understood by somebody n not have to worry abt being ditched n left behind. everyone else be moving on w their lives makin new friends and getting new favourite ppl n shit forgetting abt me. i wish i was somebody else n i wish i was one of them girls that everyone be liking for some reason. wish i looked like tjem wish i acted like them wish i had their lives brah ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ kns kms

[squirrelno2]

Apropos of nothing but

The thing people mean (or should mean) when they say "product of their time" is shit like this Agatha Christie I'm reading rn, where she is clearly trying to call out antisemitism in the text but also turns around and regurgitates some pretty awful antisemitism as though it's fact, like - I don't know where overall her beliefs fell, just what I read, and there's real sympathy and an attempt to dissect the English Christian attitude towards the Jewish characters presented unless I'm really misreading, but it's also deeply upsetting to see some of the shit that gets said in basically the same paragraph

(edit: actually more of this feels straight up antisemitic as I dig deeper into it, she did write from povs of characters that she clearly didn't agree with at times but I wanna make clear that I'm probably going to be retracting my opinions on her good intentions here. The rest of what I say still stands)

And I think this is important to recognise not just so we don't put ppl whose work has cultural contributions on a pedestal where we can never critique them, but also because like. She was probably saying all the polite, progressive things. We can all say the polite, progressive things. That is what makes us products of our time

The thing that helps us transcend that in our fights against bigotry is to really look at each impulse we have when discussing/describing/characterizing marginalized people, and to say "why did I choose this? Is there something else I could do that would achieve the same goal? Why is it so important to me to tell this story, and does it convey a truth or does it convey a theory I have built about the world that I always assumed is truth?" I started writing characters of colour as a teen because I knew I should, because I knew the world wasn't as white as my backyard is. I didn't know why it would matter to a reader beyond that. I just did it because that is what A Good Author does, and A Bad Author ignores poc. It's not the worst place to start, if you ask me - deeply invested in your own status as a good person or writer and therefore dangerously self centered, but a jumping off point if you're willing to learn.

The thing that took me farther was the moment I realised I didn't know why I had disdain for certain things (in my case specifically hip hop dance was the catalyst but that's a longer story). I sat down and looked at those things I ignored and claimed not to like and found that I had no tangible reason for any of that. I simply had never looked for something to love. I have found, in my time in fandom, that many people refuse to look for things to love in characters they do not associate with themselves. They might pay lip service to a character being great, say they deserve the world, but in the end these are not the characters who get endless fics and meta and art. (This is most obvious with fandom racism but it manifests with other facets of marginalisation as well) It requires an active effort, and a willingness to step beyond "I have said the right thing, the appropriate thing, the polite thing, and that means I have done it all right" into a space where you know you may get it wrong, but always in pursuit of doing something not just right but good

Anyway "products of their time" still fucked up, whether they were trying to do the Right Thing or not, and we all will fuck up, but you have to be willing to step further than politeness, and really start to conceptualize other people as being just as wholly human as you. Nobody is the guest star in an after school special about acceptance. We are, in fact, all the main characters of our own stories, constantly crossing over and spinning off, and the sooner you realize that your kindness to somebody else isn't about you being the protagonist who needs to be loved but about them being their own protagonist who deserves your respect, the better. Don't say things because you're supposed to. Say them because you thought about what they imply, and because you stand by those implications - or don't say them at all

[systemerrorbonnie]

[cleostoohot]

hi y’all this is the anon that left this message a while back. i’m seeing sm ppl asking bout sp and manifesting exes and alla that so i just wanted to answer some q’s as somebody who manifested an ex after he sn’t romantically attracted to me and didn’t feel romantic attraction period (i’m sorry y’all idgaf there r no morals when it comes to manifesting, eiypo, i feared he didn’t like me romantically so the universe gave me this as a result so i had this hot mess to fix 😭).

1) you can manifest ur sp to date u even if they’re not romantically attracted to (they like the same gender, they’re asexual or aromantic or wtv.) imo sexuality and romantic attraction is fluid and what u assume them to be they become

2) yes u can manifest ur ex idc how bad it ended or how long y’all have been apart or how many times u broke up and got back 2gether u CAN manifest ur ex just make sure ur manifesting the ideal version of them and having a good sc so u avoid breaking up again

3) yes u can manifest a celebrity, if they’re in ur reality they’re still a reflection of ur thoughts, just cuz they’re more well known it don’t mean shit lmao

4) u can manifest some1 u don’t personally know or doesn’t personally know u or have even heard of u (same concept with manifesting a celeb)

5) u can manifest somebody who doesn’t exist into existing. ur tryna tell me 7.8 billion ppl in the world and ur ideal match ain’t somewhere out there? no babe they r u just gotta affirm they’re where ur at, don’t ask how the how isn’t 4 u to worry about (unless ur manifesting a specific scenario) they’ll find u and date u as u desire.

there are no morals or ethics with manifesting, u can change anybody to be exactly what u want them to be regardless of anything u can revise their age, sexuality, gender wtv. it’s ur reality to create and no body but u has free will. now how do u take back that power and stop giving them free will and fr manifest them? BY DOIN THE SAME SHIT U WOULD DO TO MANIFEST ANYTHING ELSE. take yalls sps of that pedestal they’re just as valuable as a bit of cash or a house or a car or wtv else u would wanna manifest.

I just feel like if you tryna take over my page just say that🤺🤺

Lol sn but thank youu!!! People need to realize that circumstances don’t matter not even the slightest bit!

[yoboyyyy]

wanting to add more about the post bcs really im pent up and tired of this fandom. I really don't understand why people are so upset when we have our opinions being negative towards certains aspects of the show or just even monsta in general.

We all have rights and what we feel. It is very justified of someone to feel uncomfortable to post things on their own blog or account when several different monstaff just lurk around and see what you say or do. Even if its not tagged, even if its not mentioned anything about Boboiboy the monstaf stills finds it. Do guys not understand how fucking creepy and how lack of privacy we have? Even monsta themselves actively say that they just lurk around...like do u know what that impression have on us fans. Its basicly saying "yall better do anything to upset us". Inturn were just too afraid to even post our own thoughts of the show. Even if its completely innocent or justified.

Like seriously the whole company and the fandom need to set up boundaries. A company does not have a right to control a fandom. The FANS are the ones who should keep each other in check. Because a fandom is OUR place. The word litterally has FANS in it. Staff should not dictate on what we can and we cant do unless it actually hurts someone. But if your trying to restrict us on just say "Gopal is a bad character bcs of xxx" than you really need to reevaluate how you approuch us fans. If your using "its for the kids argument". Look around. Most active fans you see are at the range of teens to young adults. The most kids i see is just on ig or on tiktok. The ones that are active are twitter are mostly veteran fans but even then theres not a lot of us. The fandom is a very niche community. So monsta having this boundaries is really unhealthy towards fans ESPECIALLY IF THERE ARE ACTUALLY KIDS AROUND.

Imagine being a kid and you just wanna have an open discussion about the show, but the moment you say "i dont like how they did xxx" they get bashed or ppl say "you cant say that bcs its rude". You are teaching them how to be quiet on their opinions, making them forced to feel insecure on what they say online for discussing something they like and passionate to talk about. Talking about dislikes of a show isnt a start of an argument, its a start of a discussion and conversation. If you disagree on somebody's take dont immediately shit on it or get mad on it. Discuss with them on how you feel about it. Exhange with other fans on what they think is good or bad. That is a very healthy way to have conversation in a fandom bcs u are actively seeking what other ppl think and that is the best part of being a fandom. It is the fandom experience to talk to someone else about what you like and be open to it. Its simply just fun for us to do.But bbb fandom doesn't understand that. They think anything other than "positive feedback" should not be discussed bcs they think it'll hurt monsta's feelings. Sure we can block them on socmed or make private accounts if were not comfortable looking at us. But imagine actually to have to do that JUST so u can feel safe from prying eyes. Do you not see how fucked up that we have to go to the point of blocking staffs?? We dont even know who monstaffs are, how exactly are we going to block them if we dont know them. But even after doing that you still wont feel safe. Bcs the atmosphere is already made uncomfortable for fans to post anything, and im talking about personal experience as well as talking to other fans about it. Were not alone when we say this . ALOT of fans feels about this. Doesn't matter if your big or small following everyone in the boboiboy community just does not feel comfortable to post their own fandom talk/post.

If theres people who actually prefers monstaff monitering us let me ask you this. Do u really want a company dictate a fandom to the point its pushing the fans away. Im honestly asking if you guys think that is healthy or better to have long time fans who actually enjoys the show despite it flaws, who actually tries to support the studio bcs your proud of the show, ends up being pushed away to leave a fandom by the same company that they tried to support. Let me ask you this and im being serious, do you actually support fans who are struggling to stay, or do you support what a company wants?

Im not trying to cause drama , I just wanna be that one person who talks about it so other people realize they feel the same way bcs alot of people have the same opinion but they never talked about it bcs they think theyre the only ones who feels like this.

[astralaffairs]

Request: "Hey babe it's been a shitty day, so plz make it better by responding to this. Alright so hear me out: we've all seen the memes, so we know how ppl would react to finding out about fotp thom and mc, but remind me, do we know how Alex reacted???? Lmao there would be such chaos"

___________

"You and Jefferson are dating?" Though Alex's yell was muffled through the phone, his tone was unmistakable, and Y/N cringed at the shrill undertone beneath his fury. "When did this start? Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew you'd react exactly how you are now," she said, "and, frankly, it's none of your business who I date."

"You know how long I've hated him for, Y/N," Alex snapped, and she rolled her eyes.

"I don't pick my boyfriends with your career in mind."

"But he's wrong for you," he huffed. "He's gonna prove that to you soon enough, too. He'll start treating you like shit the minute he gets whatever he needs from you."

"And what, exactly, is he trying to get from me?"

"Are you fucking serious? You've been his biggest critic in the media this entire time. He's just trying to shut you up."

"Our relationship hasn't exactly been much of a career-booster for him, either, in case you hadn't noticed," she pointed out, but he only scoffed.

"Oh, he'll be fine. He can just ride on his fucking trust fund for as long as he wants, but what about your career? You need the money."

"I still have a job, y'know. I'm just not covering domestic politics anymore."

"I knew it was suspicious when you changed departments," he muttered, and Y/N rolled her eyes. "I'm coming over. We need to talk about this."

"What?" she asked, eyes widening in surprise. "No, you can't; I have Thomas here with me."

"Too bad. I'm already outside."

"How the hell did you get here so fast?"

"I left home the minute I saw you on his Instagram."

Y/N grinned, holding her phone against her chest as she looked up at Thomas. "Aw, babe, he follows your Instagram."

He snickered. "Tell him I'm flattered."

"It's disgusting hearing you call him that." Alex's reaction was loud and visceral enough that she could hear it even before she lifted the phone back to her ear.

"Then I guess you're really gonna hate hearing our wedding vows, huh?"

"'Wedding vows'?" Thomas repeated as he raised a teasing eyebrow, folding his arms. She only shushed him, though a small smile played at her lips.

"Your what?" Alex's reaction was to a similar end, but it had a very different tone. "No. No way. This is where I draw the line. I swear to god, Y/N, if you marry him, there's no way I'm coming to your wedding."

"That's really too bad. I'm sure he'll be disappointed to hear it," Y/N said, and the sadness in her voice was mocking.

"As though he's gonna be invited when we get married," Thomas grumbled. It was her turn, then, to raise an eyebrow.

"'When'?"

He shrugged, but his grin was broad. "After you lemme know your ring size, at least."

"Isn't it a bit presumptuous of you to think I'm going to say 'yes'?"

"Don't tell me you'd really be willin' to start from square one with somebody else after everything we've been through, sweetheart," he replied matter-of-factly. "The only real question is when I propose."

"Don't get ahead of yourself just yet, Jefferson."

"I'm still here!" Alex's shout pulled her back to the phone call she was still on; she rolled her eyes.

"How could I forget?"

"Let me into your flat," he said, and Y/N looked to Thomas with wide eyes when they could hear his loud footsteps in the hallway outside.

"How'd you get up here?"

"Mira let me in."

"God, she needs to stop doing that," she groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Open the door."

She jumped when the sound of him banging on it echoed through her front room. "Alex—" When she regained her bearings, returned to her call, she realized she was talking to a dial tone.

"Unlock this, Y/N." His impatient voice came through the apartment door, that time, muffled, but her head shot up at the sound.

"You need to leave," she insisted. Though Thomas wore a deep-seated frown, neither she nor he moved to get the door. "I don't wanna hear your lecture on how Thomas is gonna ruin my life."

"But he is!"

Thomas rolled his eyes as he stood, and Y/N's eyebrows shot up when she watched him start toward the door. "Wait, at least let me get it," she called after him, but he didn't stop. She stood with a huff to follow him.

He unlocked it. "What d'you want?"

Y/N winced visibly when he opened the door for Alex before she could reach it, and Thomas leaned on one arm against the door frame, towering over him with an impatient eyebrow raised. Alex scowled, undeterred.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at, Jefferson?" he hissed. "You're really gonna toy with Y/N like this? And for what? If you're trying to get at me, at least do it directly."

The laugh Thomas let out was mirthless, condescending. "You really can't wrap your head around the idea that something isn't about you, huh? Guess I shouldn't be surprised, since you've always been this self-centered."

"If it isn't about me, then what the hell is your game?" he asked, taking a step closer, but despite Alex's harsh glare, Thomas raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

"D'you really think there's no way my intentions are genuine? You think Y/N's that unloveable?" he asked. "That's vicious, even for you."

"I didn't say that she—!"

"Must you two do this right now?" Y/N asked, exasperation heavy in her voice. When Thomas turned to look at her, Alex pushed past him.

"Y/N, I'm just trying to save you from him; don't you see that? He—" Alex froze, his gaze fixed over Y/N's shoulder. "Wait. Why are there so many boxes here? And why is your apartment so empty?"

"I'm moving out," she answered bluntly. He raised a wary eyebrow.

"...and going where?"

"Thomas's place."

"You're moving in together?" he exclaimed, eyes wide. "What the hell are you thinking? Has it even been two weeks since you got together?"

"I mean, officially, it's been a month," she said reasonably, "but, really, we've been fucking for almost a year."

"A year?" Alex repeated. "What the hell, Y/N? What were you thinking?"

"Well, whatever I was thinking, it looks like I'm still thinking it." She shrugged. "Or, y'know, maybe I just couldn't make rent, so I started sleeping with a rich guy. I'm trying to be thrifty."

She could hear Thomas snickering at that, but Alex looked beyond appalled. "You couldn't have gone back to sleeping with Lafayette?" —Thomas scowled— "C'mon, I know how much you like him. You didn't have to sacrifice your morals in order to sleep with him, either, unlike you do with Jefferson."

Thomas's glare was burning, and Y/N huffed. "I was never sleeping with Lafayette."

Alex furrowed his brow. "You weren't?"

"No, I—"

"She was sleepin' with me." Y/N’s skin jumped at the feeling of Thomas's arm around her waist, pulling her close as walked up beside her. Alex's eyes widened. "So fuck off, Hamilton. You can't do anything about this. 'S too late."

She couldn't tell whether it was horror or fury that shone in his wide eyes. "Y/N, you've gotta end this. He's awful and manipulative and narcissistic. Don't listen to what he's saying; it isn't too late to get rid of him."

"Is it too late to get rid of you?" she grumbled, and Alex narrowed his eyes.

"I just want the best for you."

"I don't need you telling me what's best for me," she said impatiently. "Either sit down and make peace with him, or leave. You can't just talk me out of this."

"If you wait any longer, it will be too late."

"Too late for what?" she asked. "What the hell do you think is gonna happen? He's gonna kill me in my sleep?"

"I wouldn't put it past him," he said, scowling, and she rolled her eyes.

"Thomas?" she said, turning to him.

"Hm?"

"Are you planning on killing me in my sleep?"

His mild expression didn't change when he answered, "Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Mmh, thanks for confirming." She turned back to Alex. "Looks like you were right. Thanks for the warning; you can go now."

"Don't just dismiss this!"

"What were you expecting? I was just going to dump him on the spot when you showed up here?" she asked, and Alex huffed, folding his arms.

"If you had any common sense, that's exactly what you'd do," he said seriously. "He manipulates people, Y/N; that's what he does! And that's what he's doing to you. Don't get attached."

"Alex—"

"Listen, Hamilton." Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose as Thomas released her waist, stepped in front of her. He stood dangerously close to Alex, who didn't move so much as a millimeter away. His expression was cold but deadpanned. "I know we've got a lotta issues. That isn't some secret. But it's not your place to try and ruin my relationship, alright? You don't see me bustin' into your house, tryin' to convince your wife to leave you."

"Are you really comparing your little fling with Y/N to my marriage?"

"Little fling?" Y/N repeated incredulously, but both men ignored her. Thomas shrugged, still staring Alex down.

"I don't see why not. You heard us talkin' about gettin' engaged when you were on the phone, didn't you?"

"No way you're actually getting married," Alex scoffed. He turned to Y/N. "You're not really gonna marry him, are you?"

"I..." When she trailed off, Thomas raised an expectant eyebrow. "I'm not having this conversation right now. I'm not about to get engaged under duress."

"See?" When Alex turned to Thomas, she rolled her eyes.

"I'm not siding with you. I love Thomas, but you can't come here and bully us into getting engaged."

At that, his eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "Hang on, you love him now?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She groaned, rubbing her temples. "You were more willing to believe that we were were getting married than that we've already said 'I love you'? I told you we've been... sort-of together for almost a year."

"Please. This won't last." He turned back on Thomas. "Y/N's never been in a relationship for more than four months. Now that you're official," —the final word was sneered— "the clock is ticking." Alex's eyes shone with vindication when Thomas raised an eyebrow; the concern in his eyes was genuine, and his gaze flickered back to Y/N. "Yeah, that's right. Don't get comfortable. It's only a matter of time before she leaves you, too."

"Will you shut up, Alex?" She looked more frustrated than anything, and she narrowed her eyes at him. "The history you two have doesn't extend to me. I know you hate Thomas. And I also don't care. It doesn't give you the right to talk to him like that, and it absolutely doesn't give you the right to talk about me like that."

"You're just pissed because I'm right."

"No, I'm not! I just fucking hate that—" Y/N cut herself off with a shuddering breath when she heard her own voice beginning to raise. Thomas squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, and she felt her tense muscles ease as she looked up at him gratefully. She turned back to Alex. "Y'know what? I want you out of my apartment. I don't have to take this from you. Especially not in my own home."

"You needed to hear it," he warned. "Someone needed to say it before this ends in disaster."

"I don't care what you think, right now. I want you to leave." Her firm tone left no room for negotiation, and although Alex glared up at Thomas, he didn't argue.

"Fine. But when he breaks your heart, you're going to regret not listening to me."

"I think I'll survive," she replied dryly. While she was watching him expectantly, he was still eyeing Thomas, and when he spoke, he disregarded her words.

"I still don't know what the hell you think you're playing at, Jefferson, but I'm not letting you get away with it," he snarled. "I can see right through you, and it's only a matter of time until Y/N does, too."

Thomas licked his lips, his jaw tight and shoulders tense. Although his expression bordered on nonchalance, his tone was threatening. "Believe whatever the hell you want, but if you really think for a second that I'm about to let you drag Y/N into your plot to ruin my life, you've got another thing coming," he said, voice low. "Now, if I'm not mistaken, I seem to remember hearin' her ask you to leave."

Alex's narrowed eyes darted between Thomas and Y/N, but after several moments, he just scoffed, meeting Y/N's gaze. "When he starts treating you like shit, don't act like no one warned you it was coming."

She hummed noncommittally. "You'll be the first person I call, just so you can say, 'I told you so.'"

Though he rolled his eyes, he left without another word, slamming the door shut behind him, and Y/N let out a sigh of relief, raking a hand through her hair. "Well, he could've taken that worse."

"I dunno, sweetheart; that was pretty bad," Thomas said, and despite the skepticism in his tone, she shook her head.

"No, Alex has thrown much bigger tantrums about much smaller things," she said, "I'm pretty sure he just got most of his energy out on the car ride here."

"I’ll take your word for it, but..." Thomas trailed off, seeming to have thought better of what he was about to say, and she turned to him with her brow furrowed.

"What, was this seriously the angriest you've ever seen him?"

"Not by far." She eyed him warily when he pursed his lips. "But... what was he sayin' about none of your relationships lastin' more than four months? Was that all true?"

Her eyebrows jumped at the worry that flickered in his eyes. When she stepped forward, laid a hand on his chest, he didn't pull away, and she took that as permission enough to wrap her arms around the back of his neck, to pull him close. "You know he was just trying to get a rise out of you, right? He just wants you to feel insecure in our relationship."

"But was it true?" he asked. "You really never been with the same person for more than a couple months?"

"That has nothing to do with us."

"Answer me." He was looking down at her with severity in his gaze, and she frowned.

"Yeah. It's true." Her eyes dropped away from his as she played with the curls at the back of his neck. "Does that really change the way you look at me?"

"It changes the way I see us, if 'm honest," he murmured, and Y/N brought a hand up to his cheek, brushing her thumb over his skin.

"It shouldn't. None of my relationships lasted because I didn't love any of the people I dated. But I love you, Thomas," she said seriously. "Do you know that you're the first person I've said ever that to? Family and friends aside, of course."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She pushed herself onto her toes to kiss him lightly. "And I mean it. I've always been terrified of commitment, but... being with you doesn't scare me."

"God, I should hope not," he said, a trace of a laugh buried in his voice. "If you were scared, 'm pretty sure I'd be doin' something wrong."

"Well, in all honesty, I was an anxious wreck the first time I told you I loved you," she admitted. "I was almost hoping you'd outright reject me so that I'd have to move on."

His grin was broad. "So, what I'm hearin' is that I oughta stop makin' jokes about marriage?"

"Only if you don’t want me running for the hills," she said, but her tone was playful. "In all seriousness, if you were anybody else, I'd have started packing my bags the minute you asked me for my ring size. There’s a reason I’m still here."

"Good." He leaned down to bump his nose against hers. "'Cause I do wanna marry you. Doesn't matter to me when it happens, but I'm gonna get a ring on your finger if it's the last thing I do."

She grinned. "Go right ahead." When he kissed her, she pulled him tighter against herself and he wrapped his arms snug around her waist. "Guess I'm gonna have to call the jeweler, now," she murmured against his lips. "Gotta see when's the next time they can get me in so I can get sized for a ring."

"Who said I was the one proposing?" Thomas asked incredulously, and Y/N pulled away just enough to look him in the eye.

"Me. You're the one with all the money."

"Now, this doesn't seem quite fair."

She laughed. "Listen, when a million-dollar trust fund falls into my lap, I'll be more than happy to buy the engagement rings. But until then, the burden's on you and your inheritance, Jefferson."

"'N that's a burden I'm more than willing to take on, sweetheart," he said. "The minute I get your ring size, the trust fund'll take care of the rest."

"The minute you get it?"

"If that's what you want."

"Not so fast, Jefferson." She rested a hand on his chest. "Try living with me for a few months, and then we can revisit."

"I'm holdin' you to that."

[saintobio]

wanted to put my thoughts abt sera and gojo so pls sorry if it became long!

sera has haters and scrutinizing eyes on her and it's understandable! but you have to think abt the life she lived in, a middle class worker surrounded by the upper classes treating her like shit. they see her as nothing else than a worker who pumps out labor and nothing else, she gets screamed at 24/7 for her slight errors y'all 😭 giver her a break.

with that out there, it's understandable her view of y/n, a person WHO'S ON THE TOP OF THE CHAIN, would of course be assumed to be the same as her those who treat her bad. why wouldn't she? like sera said, she's rich, born with a silver spoon, and has never experienced a day of hardwork in her life like she did. don't lie to me y'all, if u met a girl like her irl you would've thought the same if u were in sera's position.

she did give me very selfish vibes tho, wanting mc to keep the marriage for the sake of gojo's status AND TO BENEFIT HER IN THE FUTURE. bc she knows gojo loves her, not mc, and will eventually leave her once she's served her purpose, and that's really cruel to think of a person, despite what world they've lived through, so yeah im not defending you sera. i understand you but bitch- that's really heartless of you.

both of them are, mc tried to understand the situation and she did- so now mc's trying to solve it by ending the marriage so gojo can be with sera but still have good relations with her family. i just know mc has a good, clear plan to get her father still view gojo as a son, but gojo panicked and bc he's an arrogant prick, doesn't want to hear it out and wants to do it in his own way, regardless of mc's feelings.

i rlly admire the way u write mc, yes she's soft spoken but she's taking matters into her own hands (birth control pills *cough) and trying to communicate with ppl even when she's been treated so badly. i wanna kiss her and take her away from marriage pls maybe im just gay but somebody has to treat her like a good wife ok??

im excited for what's to come! ur writing is godly and i trust u take ur time on this!

you have a very good grip on the story and it’s nice to read everything you just said <3 u sympathized w sera but didn’t invalidate the mc which is something i rly like to see :’)

[chateautae]

reading MID really made me realize that yeah ppl have insecurities, but there comes a point where you really have to put them aside and even discard them, and when the right person comes being vulnerable is totally ok. Because if someone is going above and beyond to prove that they love you, undermining them bc of ur own baggage is such a disservice to their pure heart you know? So in a way, I guess I've found yet another reason to try and love myself and tell the negative voices in my head to shut up, cuz imagine if my own MID Tae comes along, I wanna accept his love wholeheartedly! Not just because of a potential relationship of course, bc I am whole with or without a partner, but thats a topic for another day lol. As always, looking forward to your future writings! -Joons Wife Anon

Yes this is very important!! Everyone has insecurities, but it's not good to project them onto somebody else and use them as an excuse to dismiss the way they feel about you. In a sense, it's as though you're then devaluing and accusing them of being a person who would even mind those things. When someone loves you and tried their hardest to prove it, they love all of you, and that's the most touching thing about love. The way humans love even the bad, sad and ugly parts of somebody, accept them whole-heartedly, and pledge to love them for an eternity, that promise is never something to be taken with a grain of salt. When somebody makes that promise and is trying their absolute hardest to prove it to you, you have to accept that this person accepts you for who you are, and will love you no matter what. It's exactly what we saw in chapter 7 of mid, and I'm honestly so happy I was able to make you feel like this my love!! We all have our insecurities and ugly parts of ourselves, but love means to accept not just one or two parts of a person, it means to accept all of them. I promise when your mid tae comes along, he's going to make you see that despite all the things you hate about yourself, there's so much more to love!!! Thank you for sharing this joon's wife anon, it's always a pleasure to hear from you 🥺💓

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm curious what you think the worst shipping dynamic is? And the reasoning behind it if you have any.

Thank you so much!!!

haha I do have several of those actually. I’ll include both what I think are the worst dynamics and the kind of ships that “I just don’t get why would you ship smth like that”.

1. What I actually call “a mom and a manchild”.

examples: Hatori/Chiaki from “Sekaichi Hatsukoi”, Ikuya/Hiyori.

I guess, technically there’s nothing wrong with this, if they both enjoy being this way, but firstly I just hate adults behaving like infants and I don’t think encouraging such behavior can lead to anything good, and secondly watching this just makes me uncomfortable for many reasons. And moments like when Hyori came up to Ikuya when he talked to Haru and was like “it’s too late and you can’t talk to this man, time to go home” and Ikuya went I just cracked up at this. Also when one part is basically changes the other’s part diapers, but in return gets tantrums or basically nothing or “but I wanna play with someone else tho”, it’s just a kink I do not get, like why would you want to be treated like this is beyond me.

But then I also generally dislike infantile characters, and I can’t ship smth if I don’t like both parties, so maybe bc of this. I always like the mature characters. Like even when I do know in theory that a 13 year old in reality can’t behave like Todoroki, I’m still like, I don’t fucking care, that’s the one I like xD But when 20 years old Ikuya behaves like this, I just do not appreciate it, I guess.

2. “I don’t have an identity, my identity is you or what you want me to be” category, including “my dignity flew out of the window” ones and “I just do what you do”. (I CANNOT HANDLE THIS DYNAMIC, YOU KNOW I CAN’T!!!!!!! I DO NOT WHY, BUT IT’S JUST PISSING ME OFF THE MOST OF ALL PROBABLY)

examples: Eren/Mikasa, Haru/Makoto, Natsusa/Sei from “Number24″.

Sports animes do that a lot. “The only reason I played rugby is because you played it” is a major cringe. And no, it’s not romantic. Romantic is like when you’re both passionate about this and doing this sports together makes it even better/more meaningful, that I get. Not, “I only went there bc you like it” and I’ll have what you have, I’ll do what you do. Like.. huh? You firstly a person, as in fully formed one pls, you can’t exist as someone’s trail. 

Those ships always contain this one person (like Mikasa, Makoto), who are just the accessory of the other character. Mikasa’s problem is not the ackerbond, it’s her life position, she herself chosen to be Eren’s doormat. And some also find this romantic, I think, but I just hate such things. Also the truth of life: if you don’t respect yourself, your crush won’t respect you either. Just saying.

Makoto, I sincerely think, if Kisumi would be his neighbour instead of Haru, he’d be playing basketball at school lmao. Like SD has so many of absolutely terrible scenes, where Makoto just for real turns to Haru and goes “do you think I should go to the basketball club if we’re not swimming?” like dude, I’m... he’s like a walking definition of “meh” if there ever existed one. How can you do not care what you do? Like at all. This is beyond me. That’s sad. Watching him makes me sad.

I just need both characters in a ship be you know THEM, fantastic on their own, then when they’re together they become an absolutely explosive magic. It’s just a true fact.

Also there is one ship who is not quite this category, but kinda touches this theme. Ciel and Lizzy from “Kuroshitsuji”, ike the original Ciel, for whom she wanted to pretend to be a dumb damsel in distress for the rest of her life. Like fucking seriously????? You’d live like this????!!!! Fucking hell, you must really don’t love yourself like at all.

3. Humiliation isn’t my kink.

examples: Dazai/Akutagawa, Midoriya/Bakugou.

Akutagawa and Midoriya are badass motherfuckers and also wonderful human beings on their own. When they encounter Dazai and Bakugou they become sheeps. I hate seeing them like that, that’s basically it. Also humiliation is really not my kink. The whole “treat him like crap” thing. Like some things they did to them is just.. my god, I don’t like it.

Like when Dazai asked Atsushi to throw the phone moment, I literally flinched so hard watching it, I can’t even explain this feeling between the dejection and utter disgust at the fact that Dazai did it, that I felt watching it, but I fucking hated it.

4. Those who bring out the worst in each other or don’t bring out anything in each other.

All my ships literally all with no exceptions make each other the best versions of themselves, push/challenge each other to become better/brighter/happier, etc., or add to each other that piece the other was missing. 

If someone makes someone feel depressed, miserable or even just simply stuck in a rut, that’s probably not it. There are some ships who just simply can’t make each other happy or even make each other unhappy and that’s a fact.

5. Ships with no development or development so tiny that you need 120 episodes and an magnifying glass to see it.

examples: I’d say, but I just don’t want those 10 year olds in my ask box again.

Hate this for obvious reasons. Because as wise ppl say “only fools don’t grow” or "if we don't change, we don't grow. if we don't grow, we aren't really living."

6. Those who are like brothers to each other and said so and don’t emmit any and I mean ANY sexual vibes or attraction in that kind of way towards each other. 

examples: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley (like THE FUCK seriously), Stiles/Scott from “Teen Wolf”, Keith/Shiro.

I just cannot imagine them being romantically involved, I literally can’t. And I don’t get it. It’s like they even say “you’re my brother” thing, but also they just do not give off any couply feels and imagining this kinda make me cringe a bit, cause I have two sisters I’m very close with and their relationship remind me of our relationships so just.. no.

7. They are not each others priority. Meaning both putting someone else or something else before them.

If they don’t put each other first, I most likely probably don’t want it. 

My jam is like Stucky and when they say to Steve “you do this, captain, and the whole world would think of you as a criminal” and Steve being like “fuck you, take your shield, take your idiotic hero rules, I don’t care, he matters to me more than your whole dumbass world”.

My jam is Lan Zhan who went against the whole world and a horde of stupid donkeys and fought for his baby till the end. He really didn’t care if he’d lose everything and what would other ppl think, if it meant that Wei Wuxian will be with him.

On the other hand, we have Jin Guangyao, who had Lan Xichen, but he wanted power and idiots’ love more, so he chose what he chose. Do not get this ship, like no, thanks.

As for putting specific someone else first. Rin/Sousuke, for example. I in general do not get it, but also like there are like 10 moments in the anime like in Yakusoku when Rin forgot about him, when he saw Haru during the tournament and an actual quote “Sousuke looked at Rin, who will always put Haru first”. So like... I do not get it. If you see them as a couple this is technically no good no for Sousuke, no for Rin.

8. Obviously straight ones, but “hey, I need them gay”.

I in fact just do not believe in a “straight ppl do not exist” thing. As I’ve said before there are exceptions where some characters give off the clear bi vibe, but those are pretty rare tbh. And even more rare canonically proven ones like Kanda from D.Gray-man, for example. 

The moment they show some character in anime drool over some girls he doesn’t even know, but he don’t react to any of the guys like this, this just means he’s most likely heterosexual. Cause only straight guys drool only specifically after seeing random boobs. So this thing always throws me off in some ships.

99% of my ships are either canonically gay or most likely gay, but author doesn’t want to label it. 

There are just lots of animes where main character/s have shown no interest in an opposite gender whatsoever like “Natsume Yuujinchou”, “Kuroko No Basuke”, “AOT”, “Number24″, “Fukigen na Mononokean”, “Tower Of God”, “Owari no Seraph” etc., but did in fact show interest in the same gender one. That I get, yes. 

And btw even if you want somebody to be as I call it a “wishful bi”, I think it should be only in situations like if these characters have some absolutely wonderful/undeniable connection, not just the ship for the sake of gay ship.

_____

That’s probably it. Otherwise I’m fine, I think :D  

[littlebabycrybtch]

anyways, autistic adult here going out to all the autism parents out there;;; stop fucking bragging about abusing your autistic kids. i lived through my autistic childhood, you havent, you need to hear me out. stop posting your horrible ‘inspirational stories’ about how happy you are that you ‘pushed through’ and did something awful and distressing to your child in an effort to make them normal. it is so harmful and so disgusting for autistic people to have to hear about. those stories make me wanna gag. they give me physical discomfort, the way these people are so... Proud of themselves, for thinking they are ‘eradicating’ these evil autism symptoms, like the symptoms arent just an inherent fucking PART of their child they destroyed out of blind ignorant ‘care’. fucking listen to yourself. you did not help them. i dont care that they learned some new (usually unnecessary and performative) neurotypical skill you had been pushing on them for years. i dont care how fuzzy inside that makes you feel. i dont care about whatever you come up with that proves their ‘progress’. no. you were projecting your frustrations. you were pressuring them into smth they didnt need. you didnt Fucking help them. you made them Conform. you Hurt them to make them act like everyone else, bc you let yourself become that convinced that their autism is whats damaging them, and not the outside world that tries to dismantle what they are on the daily, for no fucking REASON besides irrationally projecting your own standards and ideals onto them. the ‘cure’ for autism is not ‘acting normal’, for gods sake. you Punished them for being autistic instead of accepting it and accommodating them. frankly, no matter your real intention, its selfish.

like. im sorry but im livid, i am TIRED of seeing this kind of shit encouraged everywhere. forcing your kid into meltdowns unless it is a 110% safety concern, is abuse and disability discrimination, especially when you are trying to force them to be ‘normal’ by punishing them in these awful prejudiced ways until they meet YOUR idealized standards of functioning and ‘quality of life’, which is self centered for gods sake! like! nah man actually im totally fine with some of my symptoms if you people would just leave me the fuck alone about it??? i like stimming, i like special interests, my ‘sensory issues’ can become blissful when i find the right sensory experience, my struggle to communicate has given me so many beautiful Alternatives and connected me with so many people. im fucking fine, i dont always need to bend to you, you can bend to me sometimes, okay? like. smh, neurotypicals/abled people, society revolves around you, sure, but that doesnt mean someone being Different from you makes them the wrong or unhealthy one... they can be Perfectly happy even though they dont live the way you do, and to think otherwise is again, just really self centered. why are you the default? why is YOUR HAPPINESS with YOUR LIFE the default standard??? someone being different from you doesnt always mean their existence automatically Pains them, or that its Lesser or Worse. accommodation and understanding does a hell of a lot better for somebody than trying to just force them to act how you do under the ignorant assumption that it Must be inherently better for them and their existence. “but- things would be easier for them if they were normal right! thats just how the world is!” cool. but they arent. listen to me. They Arent. just fucking accept that, and focus on fixing the obviously bigger issue, the whole ‘WORLD’ part that rejects everything abnormal, jesus christ. like honestly, thats the worst part about being ‘abnormal’, how the outside world fucking treats you. its how they wont fucking let you exist and wont get off their ass to try and understand or support you, without conditions that include ‘copy me as best as you can so its easier for me’. the worst part is that the people who ‘support’ you view that support as wittling you into something less difficult for them to ‘help’ at the expense of your fucking basic comforts or happiness, and they still think theyre doing you a noble favor by making you like themselves. ffs. guys. stop abusing your kids. stop.

“well guys, my autistic kid wouldnt stop pissing themselves so i just stopped buying diapers and made them sit on the toilet for 6 hours, and guess what, they use the toilet the Right way now! :)” “my kid wouldnt hug me or say i love you, so i held them down on the bed till they stopped fighting my affection! now we hug all the time!” “i took away my childs favorite item until they were able to verbally ask for it back. now they know how to say “please”. they must be SO much happier!” i need for you to listen to me right now. you are not fixing them. you are not HELPING THEM. you are breaking them into your neurotypical life like a pair of fucking tennis shoes. its for you. you are conditioning them, with trauma. the fact that you dont see that is a Disturbing display of how little you actually are trying to understand about your child’s life, or frankly anybody elses experiences besides yours. Leave them the fuck alone. you really wanna help your autistic kid fit into the world? dont punish them for stimming, tell ppl in public to stop fucking staring, bc it is their fucking problem. dont force your type of affection or communication, pay some fuckin attention and you’ll start noticing the ways in which THEY communicate with you, which is just as fine. and for the love of god my dude! buy diapers! they exist for a reason! just buy your fucking child their fucking diapers. ill kick your ass oh my God, 

[autobahnmp3]

hope this is not excessive, but i had fun answering yours so i'm gonna shower ypu with numbers: 6, 7, 14, 23, 43, 47, 48 💞

6. What is your least favorite movie/TV show to gif? cql is a bitch to color lmao and i also feel like everything has been giffed so sometimes i feel like it's pointless for me to do it. but i still sometimes get an idea or remember a scene i loved so i still do it. 7. Who are your top 3 gif makers? i'm gonna name ppl i follow so it's easier to narrow it down but i don't think i'm gonna stick to top 3 sgfsdf so in no particuar order: @yootaeyanq always gorgeous sets <3 i see you sometimes saying you’re not happy with smth and it makes me wanna bonk you on your head >:( @sugarbabywenkexing you always have new ideas of what to gif and funny too. and the wenzhou kiss series... i love you for it <3 your coloring is very distinct but also different every time does that make sense? @ueberdemnebelmeer your coloring is always so *chef’s kiss* and true to the source material i really appreciate it. and you gif a lot of shows/movies i’ve never heard of so ty for expanding my to watch list <3 @wkxbaby ik you always put a lot of effort into making the gifs the best quality and i really admire that <3 and they always look soft?! @/zhouszishu idk how somebody can color things so consistently well i just sit back and enjoy :) (im only tagging mutuals) @lanyuan always interesting coloring and i loved your hanguang june series i can never get enough of him! 14. How long does it usually take you to make a set it depends. if it’s from one scene / episode / video, then like from an hour to a day. if it’s from several episodes / videos then longer. sometimes they sit in my  drafts for a week but after that i don’t go back to them bc honestly i forget what i wanted to do or i get bored of the idea. 23. What is the thing you gif when you don’t have anything else you want to gif? a music video or a random scene from shl/cql or whatever i have downloaded. but rn i feel like i’m just abandoning every set i start (i have a few in my drafts but i’ve been too tired to finish them in a day so i just forget about them. 43. Do you keep videos forever or delete them once you’re done giffing? stuff i dl from youtube i delete once im sure i won’t be giffing them in the near future. but episodes that take a long time to dl AND take a lot of space (ahem 4k cql that i t*rrent) i put on an external harddrive if i remember to. 47. Any advice for novice gif makers/people who want to start making gifs - always gif things that bring YOU joy then the amount of notes will not matter to you - try to find the best quality video available and use a youtube downloader that lets you dl high quality (i use videoproc but there was a reddit thread where ppl listed the ones they use) - i think vapoursynth isn’t a necessary step at least at first bc it takes a while to figure out (i had a meltdown trying to figure out the script). but i think it’s good to figure out ps first. - never pay for a program. you don’t need to i’m actually the worst person to give technical advice but truly just gif what you want to gif, others will appreciate it too <3 48. How would you describe your giffing style? fuck around and find out? i don’t do anything fancy i just try to make the scenes look nice and i love colors but i don’t add much (idk how to anyways jkgjd)