#* bradley — some people are a lesson in what to avoid !

[kathrahender]

This is the actual fic, the other post was the background story to understand this better. This is the second part (2/2), if you want to read the first part (1/2), read the previous post.

Eventually, Tom Kazanky and Pete Mitchell met in Top Gun, but they were a little more hostile towards each other. After all, Tom always saw Konstantin's hurt expression when people mentioned Duke Mitchell, and Pete always saw the pain and betrayal in Duke's eyes when he heard the name "Konstantin Kazansky". Iceman and Maverick's rivalry was similar to the movie, except that the hate they felt for each other was more obvious than in the movie. Their jokes actually meant to hurt the other, and every time they criticized the other, they were meaner than in the canon.

But- like in every Top Gun AU, Iceman became more compassionate after Goose's death, and although Iceman didn't like Mitchell's family, seeing how damaged Maverick was made him realize that he was hating Maverick for the wrong reasons. It wasn't because he was a bad pilot, it was because Duke was his father, and he couldn't stand that. But the pain in his eyes made him think Maverick didn't deserve to pay for Duke's bad actions. That's why he stood by his side. First he was just a teammate who supported him, but after Layton's mission, they became wingmen. The same year they decided to teach at Top Gun together, and they became more than allies or wingmen. They became friends.

At some moment, Maverick realize Iceman made him feel things he didn't feel with his past girlfriends, not even Penny or Charlie. When he saw Iceman at Top Gun, he couldn't help but smile. When Iceman smiled at him during a lesson, it warmed his heart. When some days Iceman decided to stay at his home, and he woke up screaming and crying in his bed, Iceman held him and it made him feel safe. Iceman was always there for him. To help him. To protect him. To catch him when he fell apart. Every time, Tom was there, saying with and without words "I'm here, I'm not going to leave you". So it wasn't a surprise when he realized he liked Iceman (or even loved because his feelings towards him were so intense).

Maverick repressed his feelings, because after all that happened between them, after all the rivalry, after Goose's death, and after Iceman supported him when he needed more help, he wouldn't bear losing him. He knew Iceman was straight, and if he told him he felt something for him, he would leave him, like everyone else (except his father). And he already lost his mother, Goose, Carole and Bradley. He couldn't lose Iceman too. What he didn't expect was how hard it would be to hold back his feelings. A lot of times he avoided Iceman, pretending he was busy with Top Gun's work, because he didn't want him to know the truth. How could he look at his face and say "I like you"? Iceman was his wingman and his friend, but nothing assured him that Iceman wouldn't leave him if he found out he was in love with a guy. Much less if he himself was that guy.

One day, in the afternoon, Iceman knocked at the door of his house, and although Maverick wanted to tell him to get out, he let him in. They stood silent for a moment, and Maverick expected Iceman yelling at him or being angry for ignoring him, but he didn't do that. He talked to him nicely, with a soft tone, like always. And he could deal with Iceman being angry, but Ice was there, looking at him with concern and pain, not forcing him to say anything, holding his arm or wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He got up to stay away from him, trying to hold back his emotions, because he couldn't bear it. It was Iceman's hand in his shoulder and him saying "I'm here for you, Mav, for anything" what broke him. He almost fell to the ground, nearly having a panic attack, but like always, Iceman was there to catch him, to comfort him. Maverick clung to him, as if he was a lifeline. He knew it was probably the last time Iceman would hug him, and he knew Iceman would abandon him, but during that moment, he imagined Iceman staying with him, he imagined he wouldn't be shattered in pieces after Tom left him.

After a few minutes, he slightly got away from Iceman, keeping his hands in his waist, while Iceman was holding his face in his hands, wiping away the tears. "What's happening, Pete?". Maverick closed his eyes, and he muttured, trembling. "I love you". Iceman got paralyzed, and Maverick felt tears in his eyes again "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Ice" he said. Before he could see Iceman looking at him with anger, hate or disgust, he went to his bedroom, but Iceman stopped him, hugging him from behind. "You idiot. You don't have to be sorry. You're not mentally ill and you're not disgusting, Maverick" he held him tighter, and when he heard the following Iceman's words, he sobbed. "I'm your wingman, Pete, I will never leave you. And I will always be here for you. I love you too, Mav"

After that, and even after knowing their life would be hard, they decided to be together. They only lived once, and they wouldn't be cowards and let go of each other. Although they would have to hide from the society, and act like friends in front of everyone, their life would be harder if they weren't dating.

Years later, when people knew the truth about Duke's "betrayal", and when the Navy finally allowed them to date people of their same gender, Iceman and Maverick could finally have their happy ending, and Duke and Konstantin couldn't be more happy for them, because their sons were enough strong and brave to fight for their love, and they succeeded.

Additional information about the fic.

Duke is still considered a traitor because Pete needs to be the same Maverick he was in the movie, and that can only happen if the name "Mitchell" still means "problems" and he is not accepted in Annapolis. He's seen as "the son of a traitor", that's why Goose is his only friend here too.

In this AU, Maverick's mother still dies (when he's... 10 years old more or less), so Pete is raised by his father. Almost the same thing happens to Iceman, because her mother also died when he was a kid.

Iceman doesn't have siblings. Sarah is one of his friends, but she isn't his biological sister.

When talking about people leaving Maverick, he mentioned Carole and Bradley because he is convinced they left him and not the place that reminded them of Goose (after Goose's death, Carole decided to move to another city because she couldn't bear being in Miramar without Goose. She didn't do that because she blamed Maverick for Goose's death and wanted to stay away from him)

With them having a happy ending, I mean them having a happy ending. So I'm just ggnna pretend that Top Gun Maverick's scene didn't happen.

[mirikitakato]

[Translation] Halloween 2023 - A capricious love for an endless night: Episode 4

Cain: But...you don’t need to. We're the ones who barged in without warning.

Lennox: That’s right, don't worry about us. Just go about your daily lives...

Long-bearded old man: No, we cannot do that...!

Long-bearded old man: It is our village custom to do everything we can to make our guests comfortable when they return.

Bulky Man: Otherwise, a terrible cold wave will strike, leading to food shortages... And if you have companions, it is only proper to welcome them as well.

The villagers pleaded in a flustered manner, as if refusing would have been a disaster for them.

Akira: (That’s right…I was excited about having a good time and forgot this is also a village in a Northern Country. The relationship between wizards and humans varies from country to country, but here in particular, wizards have great authority.)

(I guess it's natural for them to want to serve those who can protect them, since they can't disobey wizards...)

As we look around confusedly, Snow and White, who had been watching silently, put faint smiles on their perfectly shaped lips.

Snow: Don't worry. Let's just let the villagers do whatever they want.

White: It seems that they truly desire it.

Figaro: It might be difficult for them to act too familiar with us. Maybe it would be better to accept their Northern customs.

Oz: It's annoying. I don't need it.

Snow: Don't be so stubborn, Oz. You seemed to enjoy the village wine.

Bulky Man: Could you be the famous...?

Long-bearded old man: If I remember correctly, Lord Snow and Lord White once have their eyes on the demon lord Oz…

Akira: (Oh... )

As if suddenly realizing, a new look of confusion spread across the faces of the villagers. Owen and Bradley raised their eyebrows beside them.

Owen: I don't want to be involved in the strange customs of this twin village. I'm going back.

Bradley: I agree. Let's get out of here quickly and teach Mithra a lesson.

Akira: W-wait! Owen, Bradley...!

Bullky Man: O-Owen...?

Long-bearded old man: The terrifying and ominous wizard who must not be looked at the eyes...!

Bulky Man: The scar on your face... I had my suspicions, but by any chance, are you the leader of that infamous bandit group...?

Bradley & Owen: ……..

Owen:...So what. Should I gouge out your eyeball and throw you into the spring?

Bradley: Or I could just shoot you in the head.

Long-bearded old man: EEK...! No! It’s an honor to see such a renowned wizards from the North with my own eyes. Please, don't hesitate to ask for anything you need!

Cain: Even a festival like this is completely different from our culture... Isn't it supposed to be about eating, drinking, dancing, and having fun until you drop?

Oz: You dance too much.

Cain: You're the one who always joins me. You're a pretty good dancer yourself, Oz. Since they've gone to this much trouble for us, let's enjoy their hospitality.

Snow: We don't remember teaching the villagers anything... A festival to honor us, how lovely. Humans are truly adorable creatures.

White: Indeed, we love to have fun, so it wouldn't be bad to enjoy the festivities while stretching our legs.

Long-bearded old man: Haha, we are grateful for your kind words... Then, we shall bring you the attire for the banquet. It is customary to change our attire from our usual to avoid being lured to the gate of the underworld.

White: Oh, that's interesting. Well, let's dress up and take it easy.

Snow: Let's go see the spring first. I wonder if the Thewlis is doing well.

Bulky man: Yes, probably. Some people saw him near the spring a few days ago.

Long-bearded old man: Lately, he often comes to see us and shows himself.

Snow: Is that so?

White: We hardly ever saw it before.

Bulky man: Well, he used to be like that, but lately, for some reason…Maybe he's in a good mood? Some people have seen him standing by the water's edge in the darkness, as if waiting for someone to come.

Long-bearded old man: Could it be that he sensed your return home?

White: .....I see. But beasts are fickle creatures. Let's go visit him first.

Snow: Sage, since it's a special occasion, you should come with us. I'll show you a great place.

*****

And so, we ventured into the village where people huddled together and lived late into the night.

Mufflered woman: Please, wizards...This is aged wine made with spring water.

Bradley: Hmm. The aroma is not bad. Let's take a sip...

Mufflered woman: .........

Bradley: ...Not bad. This steamed chicken is a bit bland, but the spice flavor is acceptable.

Mufflered woman: Thank you! Oh, I'm glad you like it...

Owen: Hey, this nut candy is not sweet enough at all. Pour more syrup on it until it drips.

Hooded man: Y-yes! Here you go...

Owen: Hmph. For all that bowing and groveling, your hospitality is only this good, huh?

Hooded man: I-I'm sorry. But these are all considered luxuries in this village...

Bradley: Hey, hey. Have you forgotten how the food usually tastes in this country? Has your tongue been spoiled by the fancy flavors of the West or Central countries?

Owen: No way. I'm just saying that it can't compare to sweets with plenty of whipped cream.

Bradley: Coming from someone with their brains pickled in sugar, that's not very convincing. But... I can't shake off the feeling that there are traces of the twins everywhere.

Owen: On the stained glass lanterns, the Marcia tree...and there's a faint presence of noisy spirits coming from beyond the mountains. Why would they want to live in such a remote place? I hear they even keep a beast in the spring.

Bradley: What was it called? Something like Thew...

Owen: I think it sounded like a cream puff.

Mufflered woman: Ah... that's probably Lord Thewlis...

Bradley: Sounds about right. They’re translucent magical creatures with a reputation for sometimes transforming into humans. “Beware of the beautiful young man who appears by the water's edge," they say.

Owen: For a beast, he's quite the ladies' man. They say he's been showing up a lot lately, but aren't you guys holding a grudge against him? Or maybe, he's been holding a grudge for being bound to the land by the twins for so long, and he's trying to lure you into the water and drown you.

Mufflered woman: N-no way...I've heard rumors that he's as beautiful as a pearl, but...

Hooded man: There's no way he would try to trap us...We're the ones who are being fooled by his beautiful appearance...

Episode 3 | Episode 5

[xeo-kunsatan]

Dissatisfied One shot +14 (Part 2)

Warning

This story contains sexual themes, gore, Domestic abuse themes, Suicide, cigarettes use, bad words and prostitution references. If you are sensitive or underage please don't read this story.

8:00 pm

???: Son.. Son!

Bradley: Father?...

It was one of my father's camera larvae.

Betrayus: can you please come?

Bradley: what's wrong Dad?

Betrayus; We need to talk...

Bradley:.. uh?.. okay.

I escaped from round house as i used to do while Quartzy was following me and keeping me safe to go to the labyrinth and then go through a portal to the netherworld.

Now there, My Father was waiting for me, his Expression was different, he seemed worried..

Betrayus: Son we need to talk...

Bradley: What's it Dad?..

Betrayus: I respect your privacy .. but with all respect.. you have nothing to do selling your body like this, You are still so young And this is absolutely not sexual freedom.

Bradley: I know...I can't avoid it..

Betrayus: first Bradley if you needed money or something, you most told me..

Bradley: But i Don't want to bother you...

Betrayus: *pets him* C'mon my shiny Ruby.. it's not a bother for me, i am your father and it's my duty to give you all you need.

Bradley: If i were death.. my life can be better here.

Betrayus: Honestly yes, but Bradley you have a life and all you can do is enyoi and experiment for more things, suffering is not just the only thing is you will have, more wonderful things would be waiting for you.. i am sure it would be.

Bradley: It's strange to hear you saying this.. even when you want to take over Pac world.

Betrayus: Well yes, but i want you to enjoy it before Id destroy it.

Bradley: Sounds reasonable.

Betrayus: Second and very important, what you are doing for your emptiness is wrong.

Bradley: I know.. i just can't avoid it.. I'm just trying to felt filled but not.. i really don't know what exactly i need to feel less pathetic that i already am.

Betrayus: Selling your body with people who treats you as shit will not fill your emptiness

Bradley: And then.. what the fuck you think i need!?

Betrayus; I don't think so.. Bradley what you need is love and support.. and you know what's another problem.. you already have love and support.. from me, your sister, the netherworld.. and not just the netherworld.. maybe it's incredible but you have it from your cousins, even when they tried to separate you from them and of course from your best friend and your dog, and believe me.. you have enough with it, it's just thing about having time for it.

Bradley: I didn't.. think about it.. I'm sorry Dad

Betrayus: So please Bradley, stop selling your body for Money nor even to make you feel filled, here you have all you need.

Bradley: Okay okay Dad, I will try..but hey a good side is that i have a better way to insult my classmates.

Betrayus: Ok you're a Goddam genius and all me, when i was from your age i used to sleep with others and the next day when they pretended to don't know me i used to make fun of them related with their bodies's features.

Bradley: *chuckles* you can't be serious

Betrayus: Really, It was so funny, even a good way to bother my awful brother.

Bradley: Okey

Betrayus: Remember son if you need something, you can tell and i can give it to you, like new clothing so you can have new clothes and not just your sister's clothing.

Bradley: It's not that bad that i inherited my sister's clothes, they are so cool and warm, she had a really good taste in dressing..

Betrayus: All from me and your mother

Bradley: By the way, where is she this time?

Betrayus: In Pacopolis scaring people with Blinky and Inky, both are having fun, also she took my champagne bottle.

Bradley:*chuckles* oh Man

Betrayus: That's my boy, i love to see you smile, so cheer up son.

Bradley:*sighs and hugs Betrayus* i love you Dad..

Betrayus: and i love you too my son, now go before Stratos founds out that you escaped from home.

Bradley: Alright Dad.

I left the netherworld, Quartzy was waiting for me to then walk together to our way to The round house.

During the way, i found out that Bryan, Lexy's boyfriend was laughing next to a girl while they were cuddling up, i didn't helped to feel mad by it and Quartzy was growling at it too.

Bradley: Hey Smallhead!

Bryan: Huh! Me!?

Erika: Eh?!?

Quartzy: Grrrghh...

Bradley: No.. i was talking with the stone behind you..

Bryan: Alright weirdo...

Erika: Ignore him, sweetie

Bradley: You don't catch the sarcasm, right?

Bryan: Now i see you better, Bradley or i mean..The Play-Bunny, you don't have a Dick to eat or something?

Quartzy: *thinks* "Don't make me bite you"..

Erika:*giggles*

Bradley: Didn't you had a Boyfriend to be loyal?

Erika: Wait what!? You have a Boyfriend?

Bryan: E-Eh!? No i can explain!

Lexy: Explain what!? About you cheated on me!!?

Bryan: Lexy!!? What are you doing here!?

Bradley: How did you found us?

Lexy: Biscocho have lost and me and my father are looking for him...and i heard all..

Erika: Eh!? Bryan you told me that you were straight!

Lexy: You told me that you would never disappoint me!

Bryan: I-I..

Bradley: You disgusted me from the start.. now i know i wasn't wrong..

Bryan: You awful slut! *Starts hitting Bradley*

Lexy: Brad!!

Quartzy: Grhhh!! *Bites Bryan in his leg*

Erika: *attacks Lexy* How dare you to take my man!?

Lexy:*stops her* It was my Boyfriend!

Bradley: *defending himself* I am not guilty about that you cheated on my friend!

Bryan: And you judge me? You are the one who is sleeping with all the boys in maze high

Bradley: At least i don't have a partner to be unloyal..

Bryan: Shut up!! *Throws Bradley against the wall, breaking one of Brad's Badges*

Quartzy: Ok.. so you choose to play dirty..

Bryan: What the-

Bradley's right fist temperature was getting higher without him noticing, he hitted Bryan's face burning his face in the process.

Bryan: AAAAAAAAARGH

Bradley: Holy shit.. your face..

Quartzy: :0..

Lexy: Qué?..

Erika: You monster!! I'm leaving!! I will call the police right now!.

Bryan: Aargh!! Please!! And call the ambulance!! My fucking face!

Mitzy: Oh no you don't..*pushes Erika to the road just in time when a car was passing by to then crash her* you're safe now.

Bryan; Erika!!

Lexy: a la puta madre [Holy Shit] A Talking doll!!?

Mitzy: Hehehe

Bradley: Mitzy what the fuck!!?

Quartzy: *thinks* what a chaos

Blinky: We saved you butt your majesty~

Inky: a "Thank you" would be nice.

Bryan: Ghosts!!! Ugh! It's not over yet!! *Leaves*

Bradley: Guys thank you so much, but Mitzy what the heck!?

Mitzy: Don't worry she would be fine~

Quartzy:*sniffs Erika's corpse* ...

Inky: Be careful your majesty, the cups would pass by

Lexy: Ok Bradley.. thank you for defending me and giving that jerk a lesson but.. *takes Bradley's Hand* Run!!

Bradley: I'll go!..

Quartzy: *follows them*

Lexy, Bradley and Quartzy quickly ran away to meet up with Martín.

Martin: Lexy, you came, i finally found Bizco-.. Bradley? What are you doing here?

Bradley:*panting* long... Story

Quartzy:*thinks* a really burning story...

Lexy: Bizcocho! *Hugs the big fat cat* Dad.. my boyfriend cheated on me.

Martín: He what!!??

Lexy: But don't worry, Bradley gave him a lesson, he deformed his face with a punch.

Quartzy: *thinks* Honestly he looks better with that new face hehehe

Bradley: My fist was in fire Lexy.. i don't know why..

Martín: I think i know, please give me your right hand.

Bradley: B-but.. what if i hurt you sir..

Martín: Dear, I'm a chef, i play and work with fire.

Bradley: if you say so...*gives Martín his hand, his palm was covered with tiny flames*

Martín: Bradley, You have powers.. and *shows him his badge of his same hand* your uncle and Grandmother have hided that from you for really long time.

Bradley: What!?.. what do you mean?

Martin:*takes off that badge from Bradley's right hand* do you know what is this?

Bradley: Uhh.. the Badge my grandmother wanted to not take it off, don't think i didn't had my suspicions about it.

Martín: I'm glad that you already suspect about it, this is a badge used for powered Pacworlders so they cannot have problems with their powers, mostly related with stress, some of this Badges used to be to force that, Pacworlders to hide their powers *turns on the badge again* this shit is easy to repair..

Bradley: Are you telling me that.. all this time i.... Oh no... Oh no...

Lexy: Bradley?...

Quartzy: *Thinks* Not again.. not this..

Bradley: Now it was sense... I finally know why my Grandmother and uncle treated me like that... Now i understand why did they used to separate me from my cousins... It has sense.. I'm an actual monster.

Quartzy:*cuddles with Bradley*.. Hmm *Thinks* No Bradley.. you are not a monster.. quit telling that.

Bradley:*takes his badge and puts on it* I'm sorry Mr Martín.. Lexy..

Lexy: Bradley.. no..

The Round house Limo have arrived

Stratos: There you are!, You will be punished by escaping from home!..

Bradley: ..sorry...

Lexy: No Bradley! Wait!!

Martín: With all respect Mr president you..

Stratos: Nope!..

Quartzy: Grrrghh!! *Attacks Stratos*

Stratos: Argh!!

One of the bodyguards shoots Quartzy to make her leave alone Stratos.

Bradley: Quartzy NO!!!

Bizcocho escapes scared by the shoot

Stratos and his bodyguards take Bradley to the Limo and drived away without.

Martin: Viejo conche su madre... [Bitch]

Lexy: *sees after Quartzy* Oww no.. Bradley...

Quartzy:*moves*

Lexy: Oh shit is alive!!

Martin: *takes off the dart* it's not an actual bullet.. it's a Dart

Quartzy: *thinks* Ok I'm a little unlucky with shootings.

Martín: what a relief she is alive *holds her* let's take care of her while she recovers.

Lexy: Oki Doki.

9:49 pm

Stratos have seended Bradley to the Round house jail as a punishment.

Stratos: You cross the line young man.. I told you million times to don't go outside in the night, anything you want to say?

Bradley: You killed Quartzy..

Stratos: don't avoid my question..

Bradley: You killed my dog..and you left her behind as a trash..

Stratos: I didn't killed her, my bodyguards actually shoot her with a pacifier Dart.

Bradley:*sighs*...

Stratos: You would be here all the night and the rest of the next day..*leaves*

Bradley:*sighs* If you already consider me as a monster.. i would give you a real monster *Takes off his right badge*...

His hand started burning again but not with more strength.

While that Betrayus have watched everything with full of rage.

Betrayus: My Son have finally discovered his powers and a part of the truth.. Dear brother you will pay for this.

[starofgold]

Rhapsody of the Bridge Where A Meteor Crosses - Part 2

Arthur: After I returned from the Northern Country, there has been a distance between us. Today was the first time I talked to him since ages.

Riquet: Such a thing happened?

Arthur: Yeah. I feel we used to be much closer before. Perhaps he has been troubled when he found out that I’m a wizard.

Akira: ‘Found out’ that you’re a wizard?

Arthur: Yeah, when I returned from Master Oz’ castle, that was apparently public knowledge. I loved his lessons, and the beautiful words I learnt from him. I’ve played the word games he taught me a lot.

As a faint trace of loneliness appeared on Arthur’s profile, there was the tap-tap sound of footsteps from the outside.

Snow and White in the painting: Found you, dearest Arthur!

Oz: ……

The footsteps were from Oz, who was carrying the painting of Snow and White for some reason.

Arthur: Master Oz, Master Snow and White too, what’s the matter?

Snow in the painting: We thought we should take the time to have a comfortable chat with you. Recently, all of us have been occupied with our public duties or requests.

White in the painting: Would you like to join us for tea in Oz’ room?

Snow and White in the painting: Our dear little Oz said he’ll definitely join us too!

Oz: It’s really not worth it to bring you two here.

Snow in the painting: It must be bothering you that Arthur works so much on a regular basis. And it’s you who voiced concerns about Arthur’s tutor leaving the castle. You’re worried that will make Arthur sad, aren’t you?

Arthur: Thank you, Master Oz.

Cain: Haha, isn’t it nice that they come all the way here to invite you, Arthur?

Riquet: Please don’t mind us.

Akira: Yes, please go with them.

Arthur: Thank you. In that case, allow me to take up your offer.

Smiling as if all tension was gone from his heart, Arthur left with Oz and the twins. Without him, the room became a bit quieter. Seeing as it was a good time, I asked about something that had been bugging me from our talk earlier.

Akira: May I ask something, Cain? I’ve been wondering, does Mr. Hegel have a problem with wizards?

Cain: Nope. If you ask me, I’d say he doesn’t discriminate against wizards at all.

Riquet: Really? If so, why would Master Hegel become estranged from His Highness?

Cain: That bothered me too, so I once asked Lord Hegel the same question. ‘Why are you avoiding His Highness? What do you think about him?’

Akira: Wow, you went straight to the point!

Cain: Of course, personally I’m fond of him too. I find him a good person. However, if he shows a strange attitude when he’s around His Highness, then it’s my job to find out the reason. I was asked not to tell His Highness so I keep quiet, but…

Cain paused. After hesitating for a moment, he continued.

Cain: For some reason, Lord Hegel seems to think that he’s to blamed for His Highness going missing.

Akira: He thinks it’s his fault?

Akira: (But Arthur was abandoned in the Northern Country by the Queen’s order though. Arthur himself told me so)

As I was mumbling my questions to myself, Cain nodded as if he had guessed what I was thinking.

Cain: That’s what Lord Hegel said. Apparently he gave His Highness a protective charm shortly before His Highness went missing. That charm was a piece of Oz’ soul, so that was why….

Owen: What are you saying about Oz’ piece of soul?

Cain: Whoa?!

Riquet – Akira: ?!

Without any of us noticing, Owen was standing behind Cain for who knew how long.

Cain: That was out of nowhere. Don’t erase your presence then approach people like that.

Owen: Never mind that. Tell me and me alone about that piece of Oz’ soul.

Bradley: We heard that, Owen. What is it about that name of misfortune? Just hearing it makes me want to puke.

Mithra: That name gets me hot all over too. Are you planning to hog that story to yourself? Do you prefer me to take it from your corpse?

Owen: Tsk. You were so careless, Mister Knight. I was trying my best but they still caught us because of you.

Cain: That’s not my fault though.

Brimming with curiosity, Bradley and Mithra came up to us and surrounded Cain.

Akira: (Somehow this looks like a scene of someone being accosted by a gang of delinquents)

Cain: Apparently a piece of Oz’ soul is in the protective charm Arthur’s tutor gave him when he was a child. However, I think what’s said to be Oz’ soul is likely….

Mithra: Where is it then?

Bradley: Hey, I want to know too.

Owen: I’ll do you a favor and keep it a secret, Mister Knight.

Cain: What..?! You three are interested in that for real?

Bradley grabbed Cain’s arm and pulled him towards the door. Mithra and Owen took their positions around them. Cain, who didn’t have enough time to escape, was taken out of the room by those three just like that.

Riquet: They’re gone.

Akira: I- I wonder if he’ll be okay.

Riquet: Master Sage, it seems that not everyone knows His Highness was abandoned, doesn’t it?

Akira: Yeah. If Mr. Hegel misunderstood the situation, it’s likely many people don’t know the truth.

Even if there was little chance for me to hear about the issue, it seemed possible that different people had different theories about why Arthur disappeared.

Akira: (I can’t ask Arthur himself, but maybe I can try asking people in the castle the next time I go there).

[On the sky]  

Bradley: We end up getting nothing truly useful from the Central knight.

Mithra: You are certainly useless, Bradley.

Bradley: What the… I’ll kill you. Anyway, a charm made from a piece of Oz’ soul that can protect one from any evil? That sounds like bullshit. An artifact to summon monsters is more like it. Probably it makes them act as if controlled by him. Maybe that’s something with Oz’ nail or sugar.

Owen: In that case, what’s the reason Oz is so unnaturally amendable to Arthur? Perhaps when Oz hid his soul somewhere, Arthur found and took it. That’s why Oz can’t resist Arthur’s will.

Mithra: Perhaps Oz got careless and made a promise. He didn’t pay attention for one second and then it was done. In that case, the reason isn’t that he gave Arthur a piece of his soul. It’s because he doesn’t want to lose his magical power.

Bradley: Either way it’s such a joke. Oz certainly treats Arthur differently from the rest of them. Still, someone who is called the Evil Overlord like him can’t be cool with leaving a part of himself to another. He is strong precisely because he doesn’t leave his fate in the hand of anyone else. Oz making a promise? That sounds dumb. Wouldn’t that mean he created a weakness in himself by his own hand? It’d be nice if he was such a fool and fell that low though.

Mithra: Arthim

Bradley: What the fuck! That’s dangerous.

Mithra: That’s enough insult to wizards who make promises.

Bradley: What’s the problem with that?

Owen: Anyway, perhaps a piece of Oz’ soul was robbed from him, then hidden somewhere, so he has to play the courteous bodyguard. He’ll be in a bind if the one who took his piece of soul dies in a ditch somewhere, the place where the piece was hidden gets destroyed, and the soul piece is lost forever.

Mithra: That reminds me…

Bradley: What?

[thatonecurlygirl]

Treat You Better

@anon requested:

You should do even just a short billy story to "treat you better" by Shawn Mendes where Billy's your friend and you have a crappy boyfriend who treats you badly and he's in love with you and idk it's just a scenario I could see billy in. It would be super cute and your Shawn mended song inspired fics are the best!!

If you did the "treat you better" one it would also be a cool addition if billy was your neighbour and saw how crappy the boyfriend was and idk. I think billy would be the cutest at consoling his friend he's secretly in love with after getting her heart broken.

The house was loud, full of rowdy and drunk people around your age. It’s hot and the smell of alcohol permeates the rooms. You were supposed to come to the party with your boyfriend and you kind of did. You came to the party with him, but apparently, you aren’t at the party with him. You are standing against the wall, nursing a red cup full of some kind of bitter alcohol while Bradley is only God knows where.

You shouldn’t have expected anything different from him, this is how it always works. Luckily for you though, you are expecting one of your very close friends to show up. At least he may be somewhat willing to entertain or humor you with his presence for at least five minutes so you don’t feel like a complete loner.

“I see he’s off fucking around without you again,” Billy says, taking your drink from you and handing you a different, sweeter smelling alcohol.

“Ah, he’s just having fun.” You shrug your shoulders, looking around for him. You finally catch sight of him, talking to some girl you have seen in passing a few times.

I won't lie to you I know he's just not right for you And you can tell me if I'm off But I see it on your face When you say that he's the one that you want And you're spending all your time In this wrong situation And anytime you want it to stop

You cringe as he leans in to whisper something in her ear and he caresses his chest. Billy looks over his shoulder, rolling his eyes in disgust as he sees Bradley blatantly flirting with someone else.

“Why the hell are you still with him?” Billy asks, honestly confused.

“I love him.” You sigh, trying to sound confident in this.

Billy’s eyebrows knit together as he shakes his head. “You don’t seem too sure of that.”

“Bradley and I may have our moments, but I do really care for him.” You avoid looking up in Bradley’s direction to make sure you can’t see what’s going on.

“Y/n, you can care about him all you want, but it sure as hell doesn’t look like he cares very much about you. He shouldn’t take you out with him and put you in situations where you are sulking in a corner, watching him eye fuck some other chick.” He growls.

“Billy stop.” You shake your head, throwing back the rest of the drink in your cup. “I’m going to head home.”

“Let me drive you.” Billy sets down his cup, pulling his keys from his pocket.

“No, you just got here. I don’t want to make you leave.”

“This party is lame anyway. I only came here to keep you company.” He smiles, that smile that almost makes the whole world disappear.

You nod and let Billy guide you through the crowd of people and out the front door. This Billy that you know today is a lot different from the one you’d met in high school. He had done a lot of growing and maturing. Back then, you hated his arrogant ass and now you two are really close, both in friendship and location as the two of you are neighbors.

“Get your ass off the car!” Billy shouts at some kids that are sitting on the hood of his car.

Okay, he’s grown a lot, but Billy can still be… well, Billy. His quick-tempered side comes out most often when it comes to Bradley. Bradley may not always show his good side around Billy, but he really is a good guy and he is smart too. You and Bradley had dated on and off since Senior year in high school, so that was about two years ago. You met Billy around the same time and neither guy has been a big fan of the other.

Billy watches you out of the corner of his eye as he drives back to your neighborhood. He sees you try to discretely wipe the tears from your cheeks. He hates this, he’s been in this exact situation before. In the car with you after your boyfriend ditched you, pretending like he doesn’t see you crying for your sake.

He doesn’t understand how you don’t see that you deserve much better than your worthless boyfriend. You deserve someone that actually wants to be around you. It doesn’t make you any less of a man to be committed and caring to a woman. Billy has personally learned this lesson because of you. You called him out of his bullshit in high school. The two of you butted heads to begin with, but you somehow wiggled your way into his life and never left.

I know I can treat you better Than he can And any girl like you deserves a gentleman Tell me why are we wasting time On all your wasted cryin' When you should be with me instead I know I can treat you better Better than he can

“I think he’s cheating on me, but I’m not sure.” You confess. “And I know you aren’t a fan of Bradley, but I don’t know, I thought maybe tonight would help dissolve some of those thoughts.”

Billy sighs, “Y/n, ask the fucker about it.”

“But how?” You turn in the seat to face him. “I can’t just go up to him and be like ‘are you fucking someone behind my back’.”

“Yes, you can.”

“What if he isn’t?” You ask nervously.

Billy just scoffs as if that is a stupid question as if he already knows the answer to that question. Furrowing your brows, you fold your arms across your chest.

“Billy, do you know something I don’t?”

“I just know that he is an asshole and you deserve someone better than him.” Billy shrugs his shoulders, pulling into his driveway and getting out of the car. “I walk you over.” He nods to your house as you get out.

“Thanks.” You say under your breath as the two of you walk over in silence.

He walks you up to the door and leans on the side of the house as you unlock the door. As you go to slide inside, he gently grabs your arm to stop you.

“Hey, I’m just saying that whether or not he is cheating, you shouldn’t have to question if he is.”

“I know,” You smile softly. “Thanks again, Billy.”

Billy nods, watches you close the door behind you, listed to the lock latch. Grinding his teeth, he walks back through the yard and to his house. Unlocking the door and heading straight to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of beer. He sits down on the couch in front of the television, staring at the blank screen as he takes a large gulp of the alcohol.

After a few minutes, Billy turns on the television, playing whatever is on the channel. He’s got too much on his mind to even pay attention to what is happening on the screen, instead, he just sits there and zones out as he sips on the beer.

—————

Monday evening, Billy lays up underneath a vehicle at the shop, grease, and sweat cover his clothes. Music and the sounds of metal on metal rings through the shop. This is his place, where he feels most confident in himself. He’s doing what he really enjoys.

“Hey, Hargrove! You got a call!” Johnson, one of his coworkers yells out.

Billy scoots out from under the car and wipes the grease off onto his pants. It’s not often that he gets calls for him while at work so something has to be going on. He wipes his forehead with a rag as he makes his way to this phone.

“Yeah?” He brings the phone up to his ear.

“Billy, uh, it’s Y/N.”

“Oh, hey. What’s going on?” He smiles, leaning against the wall.

“Please don’t freak out.” Your small voice says from the other side of the line. “Bradley and I broke up, we got in a fight and…” You trail off.

“And what, Y/n?”

“I’m scared.” You whisper. “He got violent.”

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes,” Billy says, heart, pounding heavily in his chest.

“Thank you.” Your voice breaks and tears fall freely down his face.

I'll stop time for you The second you say you'd like me to I just wanna give you the loving that you're missing Baby, just to wake up with you Would be everything I need and this could be so different Tell me what you want to do

Hanging up the phone, Billy rushes into the shop, grabbing his keys and washing his hands. He pokes his head into his boss’s office, “Hey, there was an emergency at home. I’ve got to go.”

“Your shift was over three hours ago, I don’t give a damn what you do now.”

“Okay.” Billy nods, quickly heading out to his car.

He drives like a madman all the way to your house. He nearly runs over his mailbox when he sees your car, tires slashed like an angry teen in a romance film. Windows busted from your car and glass scattered across the ground around it. Once he is parked, he flies out of his car and up the sidewalk to your door, not bothering to knock before barging inside.

“Y/n?” He calls out.

“Here.” You call out quietly, turning the corner to see Billy’s angry face go even redder as he sees your tear-streaked face.

“Come here.” He holds open his arms, pulling you in close to him.

He holds you tight as your body shakes in his arms, the cries rack your body and you clutch onto his shirt. Yeah, you were scared watching him tear up your car, but you’re also heartbroken.

“He’s been sleeping with Susan.” You sniffle.

“Your cousin Susan? Billy pulls away, looking at you in disbelief.

“Yeah,”

His heartbreaks at the sight of your bottom lip poked out and jaw quivering. With a sigh he pulls you over to the couch, sitting down and holding you to his chest. He can’t help but think how great this would be if only it weren’t under these circumstances.

“It’s his loss. You deserve better than that asshole, y/n.” He gently rubs his hands in circles on your back, trying to console your cries.

“What hurts the most is knowing that he cheated on me with my own family. My own cousin went behind my back with my boyfriend.” You cry into his shirt. “He’s the asshole, but he tries to make me feel like it’s my fault.”

“None of this is your fault. None of it.” He pushes your hair behind your ear, as you look up at him, red eyes.

“Thank you for behind here, Billy.”

“Any time,” He smiles at you. “Look, why don’t you change into something comfortable, I’m going to go home and shower. Meet me over there and we can watch some movies.”

“Sounds like a deal, Hargrove.” You pull yourself out of the warmth of his body. “See you over there.”

You stand up, watching Billy walk to the front door. As he grabs the doorknob, you feel a sudden pull in your stomach and without realizing it, you step forward, grabbing and tugging on Billy’s hand.

Give me a sign Take my hand, we'll be fine Promise I won't let you down Just know that you don't Have to do this alone Promise I'll never let you down

Billy turns, looking down at you, both your eyes lock as the both of you stand there, stock still and staring at each other. Billy watches as a small smile creeps on to your face. It’s like slow motion when you reach up on your toes and place a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“I know you are going to beat his ass at some point no matter what I say. So when you do, tell him that I hope Susan enjoys his tiny dick more than I did.” You smirk.

Billy can’t help but throw his head back in laughter and nods. “I’ll see you in a few, Y/n.” He kisses your forehead and turns back out the door.

__ . __ . __ . __ . __ . __ . __ . __

Taglist: @xicarcalii @hargrovesprincess @super-strange-sons @asheseiler @admiralsixx @lady1505 @lets-be-heroes-justforaday @queenemoscene @speedmetalqueen @softsleepyeyes

[prodigalscns]

( RUDY PANKOW. TWENTY FIVE. CIS MALE. HE/HIM. ) in texas, MONROE ST. THOMAS is known to most as ROE. they have been riding with the diablos for THREE YEARS. they’re originally from ISLE OF PALMS, SOUTH CAROLINA and the RIDER is known to be very CYNICAL & SARCASTIC but the other club members will tell you they are CREATIVE & PERCEPTIVE. as the years go by, they’ve gained a lot of respect in the club and around town. they rarely ever drive a car but when they do BLACK HONEY by THRICE is usually heard blasting. ( the softest brush of bruised knuckles across the jawline, the squeal of tires from the getaway car & praying for rain to wash the blood away. ) 

BASIC

FULL NAME: Monroe James St. Thomas.

DATE OF BIRTH: 26 July.

PLACE OF BIRTH: Isle of Palms, South Carolina.

ZODIAC: Leo.

GENDER: Cis Male.

PREFERRED PRONOUNS: He/Him.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Pansexual.

RELIGION/SPIRITUAL BELIEF: Lapsed Catholic.

LANGUAGES: English, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic, ASL.

PHYSICAL

HAIR COLOUR: Blonde.

EYE COLOUR: Blue.

WEIGHT: 67 kg / 147 lbs.

HEIGHT: Six Feet, Two Inches (6'2).

BODY TYPE: Lean/Fit, yet muscular.

TATTOOS: Dates marked in roman numerals on both wrists. “Trust your struggle” in his mothers cursive writing across his collar bone (right side). Geometric beach scene arm band, left arm.  Custom side piece designed with his older brother, similar to this. Outline of the city of Dallas over his heart.

PIERCINGS: Nose, Left side. Ears ( 8g ).

SCARS & DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Upside down horseshoe shaped birthmark, right shoulder blade. Old grease burns on forearms, several small work related scars decorating hands and palms. Several faded scars that look like glass shards across back and shoulder blades, along with a pronounced yet old scar stretching the side that is not covered with the tattoo.

ACCENT/TONE:  All deep bass and the kind of baritone that can warm even the coldest night, with a touch of twang that is often used to his advantage. He knows he sounds good, and he’s just pretty enough for some people to let him keep talking, no matter what he may be saying.

DOMINANT HAND: Right. However, Monroe is almost comfortable enough to call himself ambidextrous due to circumstances that surround his childhood, and him having to learn to use his left for quite some time.

PERSONALITY && INSIGHT

POSITIVE: Protective, Loyal, Creative, Observant, Charming, Dedicated, Witty.

NEGATIVE: Sarcastic, Cynical, Possessive, Reckless, Outspoken, Volatile.

VICES: Cursing, Pretty Faces, Perfectly Rolled Blunts, Open Space, Indulgence.

HABITS: His accent gets a little bit more pronounced the drunker he gets, especially where tequila is involved. Toying with the class ring that is constantly tied around his neck, he never takes it off. The tendency to fidget or avoid questions that he doesn’t want to answer.

FAMILIAL

MOTHER: Magdalena “Maggie” St. Thomas, Deceased.

FATHER: Bradley St. Thomas, Absent since age 12.

SIBLINGS: Smith St. Thomas (Brother, Oldest), Kase St. Thomas (Brother, Youngest), Dallas St. Thomas (Sister, Fraternal Twin, Deceased.)

PETS: Three adopted dogs (Miles, Ella, and Dizzy).

BIOGRAPHY

The middle children are the ones that are born with tragedy in their bones. They always said that Monroe absorbed all his sisters hurt in the womb, his very first act somehow becoming one of protection. To him, the statement now rang with bittersweet irony, but that’s the story’s tendency to get ahead of itself. In the beginning they were the perfect picture of the American dream, the one that was bought and sold, embraced with open arms. Sure, the floors in the old beach house were always dirty, and his father worked longer than he ever should have had to in order to keep their plates full, but they made it. Maggie started working again after the kids had all started school, breathing a sigh of relief with Kase finally passed that milestone birthday that would allowed her to begin taking the steps to contribute.

By then, his older brother had already begun taking on the family’s burdens, a nervous habit that had long since been coined as the family curse. He knew now that it was guilt that drove him to take that step, a strange since of misplaced shamed in the secret he was about to reveal to them all. The night that the words left his lips, they all remember it differently. It was a confessional that should have been met with love and support, but the scar that the two eldest boys were left with was one that had no chance at healing. The only part of the memory that seemed intent on sticking around was the sound of skin meeting skin in a vicious chorus, and the darkening bruise that formed as a direct result of the backhand that would eventually become the soundtrack to their demise.

That’s right, his brother came out to his family, and Bradley’s first reaction was to take his feelings out on Smith physically, in front of the entire family. It didn’t matter if the bible had fanned the flames of his intolerance, or taught him some misplaced wrong rooted in sexuality, what did matter? Maggie wasn’t going to stand for it. Two weeks later, Bradley left without a word, or a single cent, in his wake. The abandonment of his family seemed easy, and they never received the decency of an apology or even the watchful eye of shame. Nothing, not a single word, and his name became a welcomed taboo in the story, dad was the dirtiest curse word to ever leave any of their lips.

Monroe didn’t talk about the nightmares that plagued him in the weeks after, but Smith always seemed to be awake right in time to shake him out of them. The silent agreement to keep secrets between siblings, a small bond that eventually cemented the lines of love between the two. It was no surprise to anyone that he followed his brothers bravery, coming out in a different way, with a different result: he was more into people, rather than the concern with their gender. who, they were, not what. There were welcome arms, acceptance was offered in free fall, because he needed it, and maybe it was that helped them all heal from the things that they still didn’t know how to speak of. What it didn’t do, was fill the gap that was created by their fathers (if you could even call him that) absence. Eventually, all five of them learned what it was like to be hungry, all the things that Maggie had desperately been trying to keep them away from. Some lessons weren’t meant to be learned, she’d say.

Smith graduated high school the same year, a full ride scholarship meaning that Monroe was the next to fall victim to the aforementioned curse that came with crushing weight on the shoulders of every member, but especially him. Life seemed to have a fucked up way of changing lanes, though. Maggie was running late, in the rain, to one of her many jobs. It was an unfortunate side effect of her newly minted single motherhood, after all. Dallas was in the car, to be dropped off at the baby sitter, but they would never make it there. The skidding sound of wet tires on warm asphalt, the high pitched screams of metal twisting metal, it all added another track added to the symphony of this tragedy.

You’re so lucky. It’s a miracle. The statements are repeated over and over, like a broken record, but they turn his stomach every time. A miracle, any God, would have either sent him away with his sister, the one he had been born trying to protect, and his mother, who would have died for him time and time again. The first time he told this to a therapist, the change in their expression announced what would be his first forced commitment, something that no one expected, and it tore all his buried scars wide open. Maybe that’s why they say rehab always feels like you’re bleeding out.

Two months later, the only thing he was permitted out for was the funeral. His brothers came to visit three times a week, and often, they would cling to each other like the the last straws left in what felt like a burning building. After month three, he was released with false promises of therapy, with fake smiles that said he would take care of it, and the only reason he did seek out a way to cope was to honor the memory of his mother. Speaking of her memory, the one thing the remaining pieces of their broken family didn’t see coming, was the settlement from the other driver’s family, or his mother’s life insurance policies. Some people said their new money was a blessing.

Still far too young to take care of themselves in the eyes of the state, they were shipped off to Texas, an uncle that was willing to take them on, if only because of the dollar signs attached to their names. It was no surprise that his family outside of the ones he’d lost were trash, but when that went so far as to leave the boys out in the cold, there wasn’t much he could do. He’d turned to the club for help, sleeping on the floor in the clubhouse with his younger brother until he was old enough to prospect. The only family he needed then, outside of his brothers, was the club. 

Much to everyone’s surprise, he inherited a decent sum of money when he turned twenty one, but that was holed away from when he would inevitability need it. Their lifestyle was not kind, nor was it forgiving, and eventually he would need to pay for the outlet to his rage, pay for the way he’d forgotten what he’d learned in rehab, and pay for the sins he’d committed in the name of both family and survival. The settlement money was a secret he didn’t tell, not even to the club, but perhaps he should have. His memories weren’t for public display, he told himself. His tragedy didn’t need to be played out next to the soundtrack of his demise. Instead, lips would remain sealed, focusing on the here and now, rather than the scars that still stung.

[asecretsummer-rpg]

Name: Hazel Cox Age: 35 Sexuality: Heterosexual Gender: Female Portrayed By: Jenna Louise Coleman Availability: Closed

“What’s happening here is horrible. I try not to think about it.”

→ Background

Hazel had a relatively normal upbringing. Her childhood was good and she was raised by her single mother, alongside her cousins Billy and Josh, who were the sons of each of Hazel’s mother’s brothers. She was happy enough and she was pretty sure that she liked her life. She did pretty well in school, up until she was around sixteen. After a party in which a football player she had a crush on got her too drunk and took pictures of her which he then posted with nasty, untrue captions. Her grades dropped as bullying rose its ugly head, and she retreated from the world and what friends were still around. She became closer to her cousin Billy during this time, though it was hard to feel so connected to her cousins, being the only girl in the family. It was like a world they’d never understand. The end of high school was sweet relief. Hazel took three years out afterwards, which she spent working part time in the local nursery to make some money so she could try and move out of her parents home. Hazel enjoyed this job very much, she’d always felt at ease caring for both children and animals.

Eventually, she started attending the local college. She’d been planning to go to London for uni but things didn’t end up working out that way. Hazel wanted to get into the psychiatric field as she desperately wanted to help young people who, like her, perhaps hadn’t felt like they had a voice, or were alone. She knew how horrible it was to suffer in silence after things had been done to you and she wanted to help others who were feeling similar to work through their emotions. She came out top in her classes, unlike in high school because college was a much happier time. Hazel went on to become an art therapist, technically for all ages but she primarily focuses on children. Hazel also still does little drop in fun, interactive lessons at the local nursery and also goes to read the children there a story once a week. Hazel finds her life very rewarding and wouldn’t have it any other way.

→ Back to Baberton

Hazel has always been kind and polite, a bit of a follower. She likes rules and structure and she is a good listener and friend. She is also good at her job and knows how to reach people, particularly children who are suffering greatly. Her life is basically work, sleep, work. Hazel feels like she should spend more time keeping up with her family and even what few old friends she has left, but it’s hard when she’s just so tired from working. The person she keeps up with the most is probably childhood best friend Hayley Bradley, who she had a very, very small fling with at one point. Hazel’s pretty sure Hayley’s as straight as they come and was just having a bit of fun or something so she was confused about the few times they were together but also never said anything about it to her ever again, not wanting to make a big deal and lose her friendship.

When she’s not working, Hazel just likes to keep to herself much like she did through most of school towards the end. She likes walking along the beach, caring for all her pets, reading a good book with a glass of wine, and gardening. Hazel does her best to just enjoy the simple things and avoid the drama of her family or the town she lives in - it’s scary around here and maybe one day she’ll move somewhere a little safer, but for Hazel it’s easy enough to keep a distance from it.

→ What’s Her Secret?

Accidentally ran over Shannen Baird’s dog years ago, while she was stupidly driving while intoxicated. She’d felt something go under the wheels and she’d panicked, speeding off and leaving the dog and the girl in her rear view mirror. It was dark and she was sure her face wasn’t seen but to be safe she left town for a short while, staying in London with a friend for a few weeks. When she came back, nothing happened and she realised the dog was still alive. Hazel thinks she got away with it but unfortunately for her, Shannen recognises her car.

Has suffered from depression and low self esteem issues since high school. Hazel also had a rather bad bipolar episode around the same time as the football player set her up and spread pictures and lies, and the whole time was just pretty traumatising for her generally and she finds it hard to shake the feelings it all left her with. Plus, she’s scared to ever lose control like that again - during her episode, Hazel attacked one of the main bitches who were bullying her - the footballer’s cheerleader girlfriend - and almost killed her. She only remembers flashes of this but she did write it all in her diary and while the head injury the girl sustained caused her to not be able to identify Hazel, Hazel hates that any part of her is capable of anything so dark.

Believes one of her regular patients, a little girl called Lola, is being abused. She’s gone through countless avenues to get Lola out of that house and somewhere safe but everything keeps checking out... but Hazel knows that the girl’s mother is bad news, she just knows it - she went to school with her and while Hazel doesn’t like to judge, she knows this woman is into some dodgy things and keeps the wrong company. The more she keeps failing to help, the more frustrated she gets, and her desperation makes her a good target for -A.

[lovemesomerafael]

EL AMOR TODO LO PUEDE Chapter 22:  Proximity Alert

Chapters 1-20  Chapter 21

Traffic that night was just beginning to creep again after the gridlock of rush hour, made worse by the angle of the sun blinding westbound drivers in the soggy evening air.  Barba liked hot weather, but only when he was dressed for it.  Just the walk from his garage had Rafael’s once-crisp dress shirt sodden with perspiration.  Just up the street, Rafael noticed the pretty, rounded backside of a woman in short running tights, leaning over to stretch very nice legs.  Although he appreciated the picture, he couldn’t believe anyone would willingly run through the sweltering city right now.  As he got closer, the woman stood up to change her stretch, giving him the opportunity to appreciate her upper half. She wore a ratty-looking grey T-shirt that hung loosely.  

She was right in front of his building.  He had to walk around her to get to the door. Being a lifelong New Yorker, he didn’t even think of catching her eye or saying hello, until she called his name in a surprised yelp.

“Mr. Barba!”

He turned.  To his confusion, the woman was Detective Parker, hair pulled into a haphazard knot on top of her head and skin already showing a sheen of sweat, although she was just getting ready to run.  Her T-shirt had a faded Northwestern University logo and was short enough to display a few inches of toned midsection above her black shorts. Her eyebrows pulled together and faint frown lines showed between them.  

“What are you…  Do you live in this building?”

“I do,” he answered, wearing a similar expression.

“Huh,” she said.  “So do I.”  

They didn’t speak for a few seconds, neither particularly wanting to spout one of the usual banal expressions of surprise going through their minds.  All they could think of to say was their apartment numbers.

“10C,” Rafael said.

“8D,” she answered.    

The strange moment was broken when a tall, athletic man with shaggy black hair and startlingly blue eyes jogged up to them and greeted Laura.  Rafael thought he looked like he should be pretending to man a sailboat in an advertisement for expensive cologne.

She stiffly introduced the man as her friend Jeff, leaving out the fact that she and Jeff knew one another from A.A.  She explained to Jeff that she and Rafael worked together and had just discovered they lived in the same building.  

“Jeez,” Jeff said, “What are the chances of that? So, you ready?”

Laura sputtered a hasty goodbye to Barba, and she and Jeff headed down the street at a jog.  

“So what’s his story?”  Jeff asked as they ran, avoiding the passersby on the sidewalk.

“I barely know him.  He’s the Assistant District Attorney assigned to our unit. Squad seems to like him, and he’s really good at what he does.”

“He’s pretty.  What’s he like?”

“Snarky.”

“Ooh, you like snarky. ��Is he single?”

“No idea.”  

“I guess you’ll find out, since you’re neighbors. That could be convenient…”

“It could also be a pain in the ass.  I don’t think I like someone I work with living in the same building as me.”

“You don’t want him, I’ll take him.”

“Jeff, do I need to remind you you’re married?”

“Bradley would agree with me.  He has good taste.”

 Rafael scowled at nothing as he rode the elevator up to the tenth floor.  He wasn’t happy about what had just happened.  For one thing, he liked his privacy.  He didn’t want someone he worked with keeping tabs on him.  For another, it meant that, of the thousands of apartment buildings on this island, that damn Peter Stone had moved into his.  And finally, he really wished he hadn’t seen Parker in that outfit.  He didn’t need that in his head every time he saw her at work.  

 Laura let herself into the building after her run and started up the stairs.  She thought again about living in the same building with Rafael Barba, and wondered whether they would ever run into one another there.  Probably.  There weren’t that many apartments in the building.  She thought about what Jeff had said.  Barba was definitely hot.  That was one of the first things she’d noticed about him.  Now, a few weeks later, she often found herself hoping he would give her one of those smirky, smouldery looks of his, and was guilty of more than a little surreptitious admiration of his physique in his gorgeous suits.  But for some reason, it seemed odd to think of Barba as someone to date.  Even with Olivia Benson, he had a certain barrier that discouraged people from getting overly familiar.

She wondered what that was about, because it was obvious in everything about him that he was a passionate man.  That made her wonder what it would be like to be able to get around that barrier and truly know him.  As she let herself into her apartment and started the shower, she let her thoughts drift to what he would be like as a lover.  He might be so guarded because he was one of those deeply romantic men who, when they fell in love, fell hard.  Maybe he was all ardent caresses and whispered endearments – in Spanish, of course – or maybe he got all rough and growly and devouring. Maybe both.  Probably both.  OK, so maybe it wasn’t so odd to think of him as someone to date.  It was certainly easy to think of him as someone to fuck.

Under the steamy shower, turning to more realistic thoughts, Laura considered whether being neighbors meant that she and Barba might become something like friends.  It wasn’t out of the question.  After a stumble at the beginning, he did seem to be growing on her.  Carisi had been right; Barba was an acquired taste. These days, Laura actually liked him. She always appreciated anyone that intelligent and articulate, and she had a definite affinity for snarky people.

After her shower, Laura pulled on a plain grey tank dress and went to her living room to pick up her computer, intending to Skype with her family in Chicago.  She looked around her apartment.  She hadn’t brought much with her.  She’d sold her car and all her furniture in Chicago, so right now, her apartment was pretty sparsely furnished.  The only things in her living room at the moment were her new couch, her keyboard and stool, and her guitar.  

But she’d splurged on new clothes.  It was important to her to look good for her new job. Voight’s unit had worn jeans and T-shirts pretty much exclusively, because that’s how Voight dressed.  SUV had a stricter dress code.  She’d decided to go with quality over quantity, and been careful what she bought.  So now she had only two choices: new, carefully-chosen work clothes or old, scruffy, comfy sweats and hanging-out clothes.  Nothing in between.  

She plopped onto the couch and checked her email. There was a message from Avi ben Yaakov with frustrating news.  Avi was Laura’s new krav maga instructor, a native Israeli in his fifties who had practiced the art since his teen years, and perfected it while doing his compulsory service in the Israeli army.  He’d seen combat and was very serious about everything having to do with his training of his students.  The timing of Laura’s move had been poor; she’d felt like she was close to being ready to test for her blue belt, but had to leave her gym in Chicago before she could do it.  Now, she was starting at a new gym where she had yet to prove to her instructor that she was ready.

Laura grinned as she thought about the afternoon when she and her former instructor and lover, Eric Hernandez, had lain naked on the floor of his apartment researching gyms in Manhattan where Laura could continue her training.  On their stomachs with Eric’s laptop before them, they’d found Avi ben Yaakov fairly quickly because of the amount of favorable information about him online.  Avi had insisted on speaking to Eric about her skill and work ethic, and would not agree to consider taking her on as a student until he had met and tested her.  Laura was entirely intimidated.  She tried to get Eric to help her find a less demanding instructor, but Eric had asked her to trust him to know what kind of instructor she needed.  She’d trusted Eric, but the jury was still out on Avi. Still, it seemed to speak well of Avi that Laura found herself working as hard as she could, every class and every lesson, hoping to get his approval.  But for Avi, the jury was apparently still out on Laura, too.

 A week later, Barba had his first opportunity to see what Liv’s new detective would be like as a witness.  They met in the courtroom where the trial would be held, which he preferred when he could make it happen, so that he could assess how the witness would appear to the jury.  The meeting was necessarily scheduled in the evening when court wasn’t in session.  When they met in the hallway, he was surprised to see that Detective Parker had blots and smears of blood on the light linen jacket she wore, as well as on the silky tank top beneath.  She had a bruise on one cheek surrounding a small cut.

“Bloodstains.  Bold fashion statement.  It’s a way to go, but it might be a little much for a jury.”

One corner of her lips turned up as they began to walk toward the courtroom.  “Don’t worry, she was bleeding when we got there.”

“And this?”  He indicated her cheek.  

“The boyfriend.  He doesn’t like cops.”  Noting the look on his face, she added, “I didn’t make him bleed, either.”  

“Are you aware that not every detective I work with has to begin conversations with ‘I can explain?’”  

She chuckled.  “Can I bill the city for dry cleaning?”

“No.”  He opened the door for her and motioned her in.  

Laura was curious to see how Barba would conduct his witness preparation.  During her years in Chicago, she’d been prepped by a few attorneys, each of whom had his or her own style.  This was also the first time she would be spending any time one-on-one with him, and she wondered about that, too.  

He told her to sit in the witness box as he removed his coat and vest, loosening his tie even further than it had already been. She was mesmerized by his hands as he rolled up his shirtsleeves.  As much as she appreciated his style, there really was something about seeing him remove some of that sartorial armor that made his handsome features even harder to ignore.  Head in the game, Parker.  

“Tell me about your experience testifying in court,” he asked, spreading some papers into small piles on the table before him.

“Does moot court count?”

He looked up, surprised.  “Did you go to law school?”

“I had a boyfriend who did.”

Had?

“Well, it doesn’t count.”

She chuffed a short laugh.  “OK.  I probably testified at thirty trials in my uniform days, and six or seven when I was with Intelligence.  The last time was, say, three months ago.”  

“Tell me about the cases.  I want to know what kinds of things you’ve testified about.”

Laura had observed Barba in court on a few occasions since she’d been with SVU, and was interested to see that he was all business now. Perhaps not in full Prosecutor mode, but definitely serious and on a mission.  

She briefly sketched a summary of the trials at which she’d testified, beginning with traffic court, car accidents, and minor crimes, and working up to the Intelligence cases.  

“Favorite trial?”

“The naked guy.  It’s January in Chicago, below zero, and he’s wearing nothing but handcuffs.  Not even shoes.  He wouldn’t let me put a blanket over him because he said it interfered with the flow of The Force.”

No reaction.  He was looking at her, clearly hearing her, but was deeply immersed in his own trial planning.  It was impressive.  That laser focus explained a lot of the success she’d heard about.

“Most difficult trial?”

She had to think about that for a minute.  “A shootout at a factory.”

“Good.  Answer only the question you’re asked.  If I want more, I’ll ask for it.  If Buchanan wants more, make him ask for it.  Why was that your most difficult trial?”

“It was a huge building that was almost all one room, where they drop forge tools.  So there were machines everywhere.  It was dark, and everyone had flashlights, which made the light confusing, and there were a lot of people in there but you couldn’t see ‘em.  There were seven of us and then a bunch of bad guys in –“

“Suspects.  Or offenders. Not ‘bad guys’.”

“A bunch of suspects, who scattered as soon as we hit the door.  There were a million places to hide, so we had no choice but to try to flush them out. There was a firefight, and I was using an M4, which I’d never used in the field before-”

“The jury doesn’t know what an M4 is.”

“Big-ass gun.”

There it was, the look of amused disapproval.

“I’m not planning to say ‘big-ass’ in court.”

“Good to know.  You’re telling me why the situation was difficult.  Tell me why testifying about it was difficult.”

“Because I didn’t really know what happened.  I had a confused series of images in my head, and I knew what I’d been thinking, but…  There was just too much happening too fast.  CSU mapped every shot they could, and I knew how many I’d fired, but even then I couldn’t be sure which ones were mine.”

“Good.  Admit when you don’t know something.  Don’t guess. All right.  Now let’s talk about your testimony in this trial.”

For the next hour, Barba asked questions and Parker answered them.  He took her through his direct examination, correcting her errors and explaining where particular facts were especially important.  Then he switched roles, and asked the questions she could expect from the defense attorney on cross.  

He was much more critical and demanding here. It was exhausting and, at times, frustrating.  

“Where was the gun?”

“On the floor under the bed.”

“No.  It was sticking out from under the bed.”

“That’s what I said.”

“That’s not what you said.  If it was under the bed, it wasn’t in plain sight, was it?  Which means you couldn’t take it without a search warrant, which you didn’t have.  Now, where was the gun?”

“Sticking out from under the bed.  I could see the handle and part of the trigger guard.”

“Better.”

At last, he’d taken her through all the testimony he expected her to have to give.  He began to gather up his papers and note pad, putting them back into his briefcase.

“Don’t be nervous,” he told her as she crossed from the witness stand to the gate into the seating area.  

She didn’t know quite how to respond to that. “I wasn’t.  Before.  It’s not my first rodeo.  But after this…”

“Look,” he said, picking up his jacket and vest and following her to the door.  “Bottom line, just tell the truth and leave the rest to me.”

“You couldn’t have just said that an hour and a half ago?  I could be home eating pizza.”

He didn’t respond for a few moments as she passed through the door he held open and stepped to her side to walk down the now dimly-lit hallway.  “About that.”

She looked up at him to see he was not exactly frowning, but clearly a little uncomfortable.  Suddenly, she was, too.  She felt embarrassed, like she’d done something wrong or foolish.  Words came tumbling out in a rush to smooth the situation.

“I know.  I feel like I should apologize for moving into your building.  I’d feel weird about it if I were you.  I do feel weird about it.  I guess I’m used to not knowing my neighbors.  Makes me feel like I have to behave now.”  

“Actually, all I was going to say is that I’m on my way there now, and offer you a ride.”

“Oh.”

“But I’m interested in what misbehavior is now off the table.”

She was too flummoxed to answer.  

Somehow she managed to recover enough to accept a ride home once they were outside.  They walked down the street, Laura feeling grateful for the orange-tinged light of the streetlamps, which hopefully hid her blush.  Smooth.  Real smooth.

“Did you go to Northwestern?”  He asked suddenly.

“Yeah.  How did you know?”

“Your shirt.  The other day.”

“Oh.  Yeah. I have a Bachelor’s in Nursing.”

“Nursing?”

“Long story.”

“Were you a nurse?”

“Yeah.  ER nurse in Chicago.”

“Nurse, and now a cop.  You don’t go for the easy jobs.”

“I guess not.  There’s just something about being a first responder.  There’s nowhere else in the world with that kind of energy. And I like being one of the good guys.”

“As opposed to, say… lawyers.”

“Nope.  You’re the good guys, too.  Prosecutors. Guys like John Buchanan… not so much. I heard you’re Harvard Law.”

“Mmm-hmm.  Why do you speak Spanish?”

She didn’t miss the abrupt change in topic, but thought better of mentioning it.  She wondered what that was about.  

“Are you saying I actually speak Spanish?”

His stomach gave a little flip.  He really wished her teasing him didn’t do that to him. “I’m feeling generous.”

“Nice,” she laughed.

“So why?”

“Because I took Spanish class in junior high, and I fell in love with it.  I couldn’t learn fast enough.  I did a summer in Madrid in high school, and I just… The language is so beautiful.  And I like being able to talk to people who are in trouble and don’t speak English.”

“Hmmm.”

As they reached the parking garage, Barba indicated a stairway and they turned into it, heading to the first level below the street.  Barba’s car, a silver-blue Audi, was parked not far down the row.

“Wow.  Celebrity parking,” Laura noted.

“I’m kind of a big deal.”

Laura noticed that, even though he unlocked the doors with a key fob, he still walked to the passenger door and opened it for her. Now it was her turn to experience a stomach flip.  Why was that so bloody sexy?  All he did was open a door.  Because he’s a gentleman, and that’s sexy.  

The car wasn’t very big.  When they’d buckled in and Barba was backing the car out of the stall, a whiff of breeze through Barba’s open window blew a faint scent of something warm, and musky, and spicy toward Laura.  Holy shit, he smells good.  

“Can I ask you a question?  And will you give me an honest answer?”

He stole a quick look at her.  “No, your accent’s not really horrific.  I shouldn’t have said that.”

She smiled.  “How’d you know what I was going to ask?”  

“Because it was a shitty thing I said, and you seem to like to call me out when I say shitty things.”

“Hmm.  I feel kind of like a bitch now, but I also appreciate the fact that I’m keeping you on your toes.  I’ll have to think about that.”

As he turned the car into the street, she saw the most adorable half-smile touch his lips.  Oh, fuck.  This is like the tenth time he’s made me wet and he’s not even trying.  I am in serious trouble here.

He wanted to find a casual way to ask about her comment that she “had” a boyfriend in law school.  That had to be Stone, right?  Did she mean to use the past tense there?  But then why would they have moved out from Chicago together?  He wished he wasn’t even thinking about this. He needed her to be unavailable, and if she was, then what difference did it make if she was seeing a rabo[1] like Stone?  He told himself he just wanted to know whether he would be running into Stone in his building.    

“So, uh… what do you think of the building? Do you like it?”

“Of course I do.  What’s not to like?  I don’t have any furniture yet, or not much anyway, so it’s a little like camping for the moment.  But I’ll get there.  And I work crazy hours, like you, so… I’m happy.”

I. Not we. How obvious would it be if he asked-

“Do you live alone?”

“Yep.  You?”

“Yes.”  

Hmmm.  Curiouser and curiouser.  

“And the answer to your next question is, ‘I can’t.’”

“What’s my next question?”

“How can I afford to live there on a cop’s salary. I can’t.  But my overprotective father can’t sleep unless I live in a secure building, so he bought the apartment and I rent it from him.”

“I wasn’t going to ask that.”

She smiled at him.  “Sure you were.  Maybe not out loud…”

She really needed to quit smiling at him. Especially now that she lived alone. Two floors below him.

[1] dick

[thesinglesjukebox]

AMERICAN FOOTBALL FT. HAYLEY WILLIAMS - UNCOMFORTABLY NUMB

[6.17]

thesingl esjukebox

Vikram Joseph: On American Football's 1999 debut album (and, for some 17 years thereafter, their only album), laconic, meandering guitar lines intertwined and diverged, set against a pillowy backdrop of woozy horns and jazz-tinged percussion; Mike Kinsella's vocals drifted in and out like conversation through patches of broken sleep, feeling more like another instrument than a driving force for the song. The songs were rarely streamlined, but in their soft drift they captured, with heart-stopping precision, something ephemeral and intangible -- sunlit fields and slow dusks, an essence of youth and summer. "Uncomfortably Numb" is the Before Midnight to the Before Sunrise of their early songs: older, harder, burdened with regrets and worn down by disappointment. It's more conventionally structured than any other American Football song, borne on a crisp, clean, cyclical Plans-era Death Cab guitar line, and some of Kinsella's lyrics (not always his strongest suit, and better as hazy evocation rather than narrative) are a little on-the-nose ("I blamed my father in my youth/now as a father, I blame the booze"). But it builds a melancholy beauty all the same, Kinsella's voice interweaving with that of Hayley Williams in the flickering chorus; "The lessons are so much less obvious the further you get from home," rings awfully true. The solutions don't present themselves so easily when the issues get this hard to unravel. [7]

Iris Xie: How does one capture the sadness and tenderness at inevitable breakdowns, and the connected hope and sorrow that ties together such tragedy? Through a production that imitates the warmth of moving amongst muted pastel clouds, for muddled psyches and safe spaces. The creation of the space, which facilitates and echoes the depth of the relationship and their connected interiorities, is conveyed through the glowing guitars, patient drums, soft harmonizing, and evocative but hazy lyrics, and sets the environment for a simultaneous warmth and distancing, with endless compassion. There is this beautiful sound in the background where I can't tell whether it's one of the singers slowly humming in the back, or it is a gently played horn, but it is chilling in conveying their not telepathic, but almost as connected, thoughts, even from a distance. When their voices overlap, they glimmer. As Williams sings over his monologue, it results in an incredibly succinct expression of their struggles: "Now I'm used to struggling (tied to a contortionist)/for two"; his last two words are swallowed, giving an impression that he may only be starting to come to terms with how he is hurting for both him and his inner child, while she understands too well what is occurring as an outsider. This conveys clarity in what level of disaster is occurring, as he continues to turn away from home. Unfortunately, there lies the familiar tale to many womxn-identified folks, because Williams's POV remains at home, frustrated and exhausted after her sacrifice. They echo as they distance: "I just want you home/I'll make new friends/In the ambulance." The instrumentals empty out to a lingering, uncertain optimism, and complete this quiet hush of family tragedy. There are no harsh disasters here -- just the slow, ebbing progression towards the rock bottom, from which up is the only way to go. [10]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: As I get older, I find myself far more attuned to the melancholic music of singer-songwriters written in adulthood than in youth. That's partially because so many of these earlier albums -- from Down Colorful Hill to Songs About Leaving to American Football's debut -- defined my teenage years, but also because they featured incredibly overt depictions of angst and malaise. American Football's music post-reunion is far less insular, and with their aging band members comes a more precise portrait of my current life: one characterized by the ability to function in the real world despite persistent, unceasing depression. In other words, the emotions here are palpable because they're less flashy -- after all, histrionic melodrama will only draw attention to one's own childishness, and we're all trying to avoid that, right? With "Uncomfortably Numb," Mike Kinsella finally makes the song I've always wanted him to make. On "Bad News" and "Ugly on the Inside," he delivered harrowing diatribes against friends that I personally read as songs written for himself (this line of thinking being an obvious projection of my own self-hatred). But here, he enlists Paramore's Hayley Williams to take on the role of a wife who's hurt by his decisions. Her topline is unmistakably Kinsella's (the "clear"/"see-through" line being a dead ringer for his lyrical style), so this track does give the semblance of Kinsella addressing himself, but I'm mostly reminded of conversations I've had with my sister; my parents never quite understood or acknowledged my depression, so my sister was the only family member who was evidently concerned about my mental health. But after years of my sister dealing with me, I understand that if she ever caught me in the worst of states again, there would be this mix of pain and compassion and tiredness that Hayley so effortlessly captures here. Her feature is doubly affecting because she represents a generation of emo bands that came after American Football's, highlighting how Kinsella is still succumbing to these habits and mindsets perpetuated by depression. The twinkling guitars and winding drums act to remind listeners of why it can be so hard to break free; the instrumentation is as pretty as anything on the 1999 debut, but it's also incredibly familiar, incredibly safe. When depressive thoughts and actions feel like the warp and weft of your being -- the typical non-solution to dealing with hardship or success or anything at all -- it's easy to default to such a mode of living, even when the numbness is uncomfortable. [9]

Iain Mew: As a dad who just lost my dad, I'm doing the mental equivalent of holding my hand in front of my face to avoid looking at this directly. Except it's all so gentle, nothing but chiming charm, that it's more like the recent time that the sunlight through my office window was perfectly lined up with the corner of my eye but I couldn't even see it there, just notice that my eyes kept watering. [6]

Thomas Inskeep: Never have heard them before, this is American Football, the supposedly legendary emo band? Because "Uncomfortably Numb" sounds uncomfortably like a soft Jason Mraz song. Emo as Adult Contemporary in 2019: who knew? [3]

Jonathan Bradley: The first time I heard the word "emo" was from the tracklist of Blink-182's Dude Ranch; they had named one of their songs this because it sounded a bit like Jimmy Eat World. I didn't know that then, so I got on to a search engine through my high school's computer lab -- school had internet, unlike home -- and AltaVista or Ask Jeeves wondered if I might be looking for Emo Philips. Or maybe an emu? Blink's intentions remained occluded for a few more years until I caught a chance airing of a Get Up Kids song on the radio, which led me to SongMeanings' deconstructions of Sunny Day Real Estate and early Pitchfork pans of The Promise Ring. Then the girl in my drama class with the cool hair who changed her name told me I had to listen to Death Cab because "Photo Booth" was "the most emo song ever." At a time when music gleamed with such bright intention -- even the "alternative" acts of the time, like Korn or Green Day, performed in spit-polished block capitals -- these foreign bands I glimpsed through newly connected dial-up sounded like nothing else: they could be muted, they could be unhewn, they could be obtuse. They were American, but a model of Americanness that was unknowable in Australia then. They were always, in a way mass culture seemed to discourage, unfailingly and embarrassingly earnest. I never heard American Football in 1999; we had the internet at home, but my precious download quota was spent, by chance, on Braid and Texas is the Reason. Hearing the shivering guitar tendrils of "Uncomfortably Numb" now, with its calm and studied drum figures, drops me vividly back into those days. Mike Kinsella's plain voice arcs modestly over the fussiness, melding at times indistinguishably with that of his stylistic successor Hayley Williams, and maybe its only beautiful in the context of the late 20th century. But no; it is beautiful now, too. [8]

Will Rivitz: "I'll never forget the first time I heard American Football because, like, you don't forget the halcyon summer before you depart your home city and go to university," begins a review of the band's reunion LP three years ago, and I think that's pretty on the mark for how people about my age consume and relate to this kind of emo. So much of its appeal is a nostalgia for times we were too young to know when they were happening and, a few years after that, a nostalgia for that nostalgia, the age at which this was the music punching our collective gut. It's weird and a little difficult to articulate: there's something comforting about looking back at other young adults when you yourself were one, understanding that, despite differences in musical diets and environments and technology and what have you, a college-aged guitar virtuoso is probably going to have the same sorts of fears you do. That, I think, is what makes emo's particular nostalgia so powerful; as late-teenaged walking and talking existential crises, we found solace in looking back. We learned that the late-teenaged walking and talking existential crises of a few decades back both captured how we felt with stunning accuracy and, often, made it through alive, helping us feel both less alone and less desolate. Even nostalgia has its limits, though, and though there's no obvious line to demarcate absolutely everything that can be contained in emo's resonant power, it seems reasonable to conclude that Hoobastank is not one of those things. [3]

Will Adams: Wisely restrained, dreamy but devastating, and generally pleasant to hear. At least during the moments it doesn't remind me of "The Reason." [6]

Tim de Reuse: The only good things about American Football's post-reunion material have been the parts that kinda sound like they could've been written back in the nineties, when their crisp, angst-driven debut wormed its way into the hearts of many a disaffected suburbanite. Judging by this single, it looks like their 2019 album is gonna be gaudy, covered in sparkly reverb and dramatic electric guitar tremolos -- and I'm not thrilled about that -- but while I sharply disagree with their sound engineer, I can't fault the composition itself, or the gorgeous (as always) showing by drummer Steve Lamos, or the choice of subject matter. Teenage stress gives way to directionless middle-aged depression: "How will I exist," he says, and there's a weird pang in my chest I didn't expect to get from a band that spent 14 years broken up. [6]

Alfred Soto: I hope these guys gave their engineer a bonus: boy, do those arpeggios sparkle. "Uncomfortably Numb" sparkles to muddled effect, for what they recorded is a valentine to anomie disguised as a depiction. [5]

Ian Mathers: I'm not sure what I expected (having not paid much attention back in the day) when I finally got around to hearing all these reunited or still going post-emo acts, but it sure wasn't for it all to be so determinedly, shapelessly... pleasant. I feel like I enjoyed it, but 10 seconds after it stops it's already vanished from memory. [6]

Alex Clifton: There are a lot of lovely quiet moments in this song with the rolling guitar in the background and some gorgeous harmonies between Hayley Williams and Mike Kinsella; this is more of the music I always wanted to hear Williams do. But something about it doesn't punch me the way it should. A song called "Uncomfortably Numb" should at minimum wedge itself under my skin with some hard truths about life I'd rather not acknowledge; if it wants to go harder, it should leave me devastated. But there's a lot to be said for the numbness here; try as I might to feel for these people, I can't conjure the feeling. [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[northamptoncouplestherapy]

Lifting Barriers to Intimacy: Overcoming Childhood Trauma In Partnership

At NCCT, we are dedicated to the leading research, techniques, and methodologies in couples therapy. To that end, we regularly seek out the expertise of colleagues with specializations in complementary fields, such as private practitioner Stephen J. Bradley, LICSW, LMHC, who offers insight on unique relationship dynamics through a trauma-informed lens.

Stephen has postgraduate training in Narrative Therapy from the Family Institute of Cambridge and is trained in the work of Dr. Bruce Perry and the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics through the Child Trauma Academy in Texas. Presently, he is certified Phase II/TTT in that model and has partnered with NCCT from 2014-2018 as a Couples Therapist.

Earlier this month, we reached out to Stephen to gain a deeper understanding of childhood trauma and its impact on romantic relationships, a topic Stephen has extensive experience in from his 25 years of treating adults, children and families. He is especially passionate about working with children and families who have experienced trauma.

Our goal in this interview was to identify the unique role trauma plays in romantic relationships and to offer tools to support couples struggling with its legacy. As expected, Stephen provided a wealth of information on the subject. Below are the key takeaways, organized in a Q&A format.

1. Stephen, what exactly is ‘trauma’? How would you definite it, and how can we recognize the role it plays in our relationships?

Trauma comes in many different forms and can move across generations. Many families we work with have experienced direct physical, mental or emotional trauma. Or, they have witnessed varied types of trauma, such as physical conflict, domestic violence, external stressors and also systematic oppression based on gender, race or sexual orientation.

From birth through age 3, we are just forming our relational templates — what we use to guide our interactions with others — in the context of a caregiver relationship. These templates are where the trauma piece most often comes into play.  If a person experiences trauma in the history of their attachment relationships, it can have a significant impact on their future relationships, particularly with their romantic partners.

As we make that emotional bond with a romantic partner, the attachment we form will activate our initial relational templates. If we experience traumatic events in the course of those early relationships, we are more vulnerable to having those early traumas “activated.” At its most intense, this can sometimes result in experiencing connection with a loved one as “threatening” emotionally, rather than comforting.

2.  From your experience, what is the most important lesson that both couples and parents can learn regarding trauma?

So much of the work we do in couples therapy involves the part of our brain that is most relational. Generally, we can think of the brain as having “older and newer” parts which have developed evolutionarily.

The older parts of our brain include the brainstem, which regulates basic functions like breathing and our heart rate, and the cerebellum,  which is where our stress response system lives. The newer parts include the limbic system, the source of our relational and connection abilities and the cortex, the most abstract, complex thinking part of our brain.

Ironically, the parts of our brain that are most relational are structurally close to the part of our brain that controls our stress response system. What is the reason for this? The most prominent  threat to human beings is other human beings.

If I were to ask the average person to think of a time when they were in an argument and the next day thought to themselves, "I can't believe I said that; I can’t believe I lost my cool,” almost everyone would be able to name at least one instance when this occurred. Why? When our stress response system is activated, the first parts of our brain to shut down are the newer parts of our brain, the cortex and the limbic system. Our ability to think clearly and connect is hindered. When those go, we are more likely to come from a place of fight or flight.

According to Dr. Perry, the Founder of The Child Trauma Academy in Texas, we actually become "dumber" the more upset we get. In other words, we lose our ability to be our best, most caring and effective selves with our partners. For people with a history of childhood trauma, a strong fight/flight/freeze response can result.

Also, people who have experienced interpersonal trauma, abuse or neglect as children are more likely  to have a sensitized nervous system. They are more likely to get upset and can take longer to cool down. This can leave people who’ve experienced trauma feeling a deep sense of shame – thinking they are “bad” or “wrong” somehow.

However, this is neither true nor is it a helpful way to think about traumatic experiences. In fact, Oprah and Bruce Perry , did a segment on 60 Minutes on Treating Childhood Trauma.

One key takeaway was a shift away from the ‘what is wrong with you’ mindset towards the ‘what happened to you’ line of thinking.

We work with couples to help them recognize when their stress response is being activated, but we are also careful not to blame them. We help them see that it is understandable and natural for them to have that response given what they've experienced.  

3.  What does it mean to regulate ourselves or to avoid ‘dysregulation’? And how can we bring ourselves, and our partners, back into a more calm state?

Most of us have a good idea of the kinds of activities that help us feel calmer, less stressed. We  remind people to do more of those things, such as spending time in nature, dancing, doing yoga, walking their dog, listening to music or exercising. These are all self-regulating activities that reduce the chance of our stress response system being activated. They help us to be more functional, attentive partners.

Then there is co-regulation, which interestingly occurs first between a parent and an infant. As infants just coming into the world, we don't know how to self-regulate and depend on the adults around us to do that for us. Coregulation can involve anything from a massage or back rub to a deep conversation where there is meaningful listening.

4.  Do people who have experienced childhood trauma struggle with closeness? Is there a limit to the amount of connection survivors of trauma can accept from their partners?

Yes, in some ways, having childhood trauma in your past can create obstacles to intimacy in a partnership. In other words, the level to which one feels comfortable with their partner can be negatively impacted by their past experiences.

Imagine a stranger comes up to you who you have never met and engages in a lengthy conversation with their nose just an inch from your face. That would probably activate your inner alarm system, right?

Most people in this situation would agree this feels “too intimate” and may leave us feeling confused, defensive or upset. For children who have experienced trauma, however, it doesn’t take a stranger to activate their inner alarm bells. It can be someone they know well, such as a teacher approaching them in class.

When partners come together, this can become a real conundrum. It can  become stressful for people who have experienced abuse or neglect. So, we help them apply the brakes and ask questions like, "What happens to you when your partner looks you in your eye? What happens to your body? Do you feel connected, distant, stressed, anxious?"

We work to reduce their stress levels and increase their levels of connection. We also recommended activities that are side-by-side, rather than face-to-face, such as going for a walk or cooking a meal together. Just taking the time to smell the spices and feel the textures of the vegetables can be effective. It's basic, uncomplicated stuff that we are well-wired to do anyway. But these are things that tend to go missing.

5.  Is it ever too late to address the effects of childhood trauma?

No, it's never too late to treat childhood trauma. However, the impact of the treatment will vary depending on the level of intensity needed, the timing and type of treatment that is provided.

There are a number of evidence-informed models for addressing trauma, including EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. We are also seeing a lot of great work being done with body-oriented approaches, such as Somatic Experiencing, mindfulness-based approaches to therapy and therapeutic yoga.

6.  What can parents do to reduce the amount of trauma their children experience?

One thing we know for certain is that kids whose parents engage in conflict in front of them, particularly with no repair,  have much higher levels of stress, especially if we're talking about birth parents. They will feel like two parts of themselves are at war with each other. They feel everything physiologically.

The first, and most important, thing to do is to take any dysregulated conflict out of the purview of kids. This can be especially difficult during the early years of parenting when we see the greatest number of separations happen.

It's understandably, a very stressful time for the relationship, and there’s a lack of time for each other. We spend so much time tuning into the infant's needs that we forget we as adults need attention too, along with the sense of connection and meaning that comes from coregulation.

To learn more about dysregulation, coregulation or how to overcome any obstacles to intimacy in your  relationship, visit us online. We offer private, intensive 2-Day and 3-Day couples retreats, marriage retreats and weekly couples therapy sessions. We also have new extended hours and team members to meet a growing demand for expert, research-based couples therapy in the New England area and across the US.

[jadekitty777]

Troika - Chapter 1: To Act Good

Troika - (Noun) Russian in origin, meaning "set of three" or "three of a kind". It is a three-way dance between people.

Summary: Taiyang has a bad dream, Qrow has homesickness and James has a headache. Not necessarily in that order.Or, a series of snapshot events at different times of this trio's relationship together.

Rating: T

Pairing: James/Qrow/Taiyang

AO3 Link: Chapter One

Quick notes:  So, this story plot-bunnied from reading multiple other Tai/James/Qrow stories, which eventually sparked my interest in the pairing enough to write for it (of which I named more precisely on a03). First chapter is James! I’ve never written his character so extensively before, so I hope it’s alright.

~

A loud sigh was heaved in the empty office, the tall man sitting at his desk rubbing a hand over his eyes, stacks of paperwork spread before him across the desk.

There were few things in life that could give James a headache like the beginning fiscal year budget plan. While he only had to submit his general plan (he could almost hear Taiyang laughing) for the committee to overview and approve, it was still a good week’s worth of work crunching the new numbers in, then submitting it to his financial department to triple check those numbers. Even using last year’s data as a template, he still had to recalculate for inflation, economical changes, and, this year, a potential school expansion.

When his lovers had first brought up the idea, admittedly, James had tried to tune them out. Atlas had been functioning fine for 80 years now, what need did it have to change? Sure, Signal was one of the few schools in the world to have a few less traditional classes and there were no reported ill effects from these differences, but most of the academies didn’t think it was necessary to add to their curriculum based on that factor alone. Particularly psychology, which was still viewed by many in the science community as nothing but a ‘textbook full of crazy ideas made by crazy people’. So, when it was that course in particular the two pushed him on the most, James had told them that all of his students were trained to instill pure discipline in their minds and didn’t need an additional course to deal with “problems” that could arise from such a thing.

Sassy didn’t even begin to cover the way Qrow had looked at him as he bluntly quipped, “And that’s why students from Atlas have the highest recorded numbers of PTSD and depression, right?”

That had actually started a hell of a row between them and ended with Qrow furiously storming out of the house. He didn’t see him again until the next afternoon when the flying bird invaded his office and, rather than being shitfaced drunk like he expected, a report that would give most thesis papers a run for their money was slammed down onto his desk. Leafing through it, he wasn’t sure what impressed him more: that the expository essay detailing the effects of mental and cognitive-based courses on the proper development of strong Huntsman was surprisingly persuasive or that it had only taken Qrow one night to accurately compose it.

He’d gone home that night with an apology on his tongue and a promise in his heart to at least hear them out this time.

Tai, who had mostly watched the unfolding argument and reconciliation without weighing in to avoid taking sides, eventually contacted a former colleague from Signal and got him a lesson plan for the course. It gave him an idea of how the class was set up, what it covered and how it was applied to the students’ daily lives and future careers as Huntsman or even just members of society.

So now here he was, trying to find a way to spare funds for the additional classroom space, materials and staff needed while also trying to convince the committee it was a necessary change without turning himself into a total laughingstock at the board. He was just beginning to amuse himself over what it would be like if he let Qrow take his place at the meeting instead, when a knock at his door drew his attention.

“Come in,” James said. The door opened and his expression smoothed out to something a bit gentler when he saw it was Winter, though the look of stress across her features did worry him some. “Winter, is everything alright?”

“Sir, there’s,” She approached his desk, remembering herself enough to salute. “I apologize for interrupting but we have a problem.”

“What is it?”

“Have you seen the news yet?”

He arched an eyebrow at the curious question. “I can’t say I have. Why?”

She hesitated, and it wasn’t often he saw one of his most composed soldiers so uncomfortable. “I just received word from Commissioner Bradley that Taiyang is being detained at her facility for assault and battery.”

James’ eyes widened, jerking to his feet. “What!?” That, that couldn’t be right. While Tai had a fiery side to him at times, he was usually the one who kept things from getting too out of hand. He had always been a firm believer that things could typically be handled in a more peaceful way. He would never hit an innocent – expect, according to his soldier, he apparently would.

“Qrow is there too. He’s not being incarcerated, but they are holding him for questioning.”

Before he could even think to ask more questions, his phone started ringing. He shoved aside some of his papers, picking up the receiver. “Hello?”

“James, what in blimey is going on?!” It was his director, Major Sergeant Steele. And he sounded absolutely furious. “I’ve got the press trying to ram down the gates right now all because of some riot one of your…” There was a derisive scoff, “partners decided to start.”

“Sir, there must be some kind of mistake,” He quickly tried to refute.

“You better hope there is! James, I could give less of a damn about your personal activities until it has the committee breathing down my neck. It was bad enough that you had the drunk vagabond in your bed, but now you’ve got some unstable psychopath too?!”

James was glad he picked up the phone with his real hand, otherwise he would have shattered the receiver. “I’ll get this cleared up and under control immediately.”

“See that you do General! If any further incidents like this hits the news, I GUARENTEE we will be discussing different opportunities for your position.” There was a click as the call was abruptly cut.

He took a few deep breathes to calm the race of his heart, setting the phone back on the hook. “Winter?”

“Yes sir?”

“I need a vehicle escort to the police station, immediately.”

“Right away sir.” She saluted him, before taking her leave.

~

Two years ago, his love life suddenly became a hot button topic when reporters had got wind of his relationship with Qrow just a few weeks after they finally made the big decision to start living together. While no stranger to having the occasional sweetheart in his bed, it was his first publicly discovered with another man. And with a world-renowned huntsman no less. It had been doubly insulting to realize that having become General back in his mid-30s had been something that barely lasted a week in the papers, but who he was seeing was worth a whole month of coverage. Still, he handled the situation as professionally as possibly, holding a conference to clearly dissipate any rumors and officially announcing his relationship with the other man, expressing how he hoped people would allow the matter to remain as it should: private.

It had been a foolish man’s hope, as barely three days later, Qrow was assailed by the paparazzi just outside of a bar downtown. Being as drunk as he was led to a very loose tongue – not to mention just his overall ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude – and certain things James would have rather remained unheard was broadcast all over the evening news. The next morning, the committee also talked his ear off about their disappointment in how he was handling his ‘professional image’ and how he might want to consider a ‘more respectable’ partner if he was going to continue to pursue romance.

It was an extremely rough patch in their relationship, one they almost didn’t weather through, but once the press and committee had backed off enough and they could breathe again, it gave them a chance to both establish some boundaries and reconnect.

He had thought there would be nothing worse than that incident.

Unfortunately, as he held his Scroll just shy of shattering it while the video played out on the screen, he discovered that he was very wrong.

“The streets of Atlas exploded this afternoon when a Huntsman knocked a reporter unconscious after a round of questioning.” Jewell Olsen was saying, a picture of the blond playing out on the screen behind her. “The perpetrator, identified as Taiyang Xiao Long, is a former instructor of Signal Academy and was seen fraternizing with a past teammate, Qrow Branwen. Former accounts from a few years ago detail Mr. Branwen being in a long-term relationship with the current General of the Atlas military, James Ironwood. When approached by Oliver Sikes, an alleged reporter of CTT News, the questioning quickly turned hostile. The camera crew was able to catch the following footage.” Jewell’s image faded to black, playing the beginning of the video.

“Mr. Branwen! Mr. Xiao Long!” Oliver, a young, ginger-haired adult in a dime store suit, was quickly hurrying down the sidewalk. “A moment please!”

The two men who, if James to guess, had just been on a date, were walking astride one another, hands linked between each other. At the call of their names though, they looked back. Qrow’s eyes darted between the reporter and the camera, eyes narrowing suspiciously. Taiyang, however, just looked confused as he responded, “Uh, yes?”

“I’m Oliver Sikes from CTT News. I was wondering if I could have a word with you both about your current relationship status with one another and General Ironwood.”

Qrow scoffed, waving his hand to shoo the other off. “Not interested, Freckles N’ Heckles. Go find someone else to pester, alright?” Without waiting for an answer, he whirled around, tugging Tai after him.

Persistently, the reporter walked after the duo, the camera bobbing behind him. “But sirs! There have been rumors going around and the public would like a clear answer. Is this perhaps an affair?”

“You need to clean your ears Scarlet Fever? Get lost!”

“Qrow!” Taiyang hissed.

Oliver glanced back, waving the cameraman forward before quickly sprinting to the blond’s side, the camera soon panning a side shot of them. “Mr. Xiao Long, is it true your hometown is located in the southern side of Anima?”

“I, well – yes,” He replied, increasing discomfort starting to show.

Ignoring the death gaze the former bandit was sending him, the reporter babbled on, “Research shows that many households in the southern villages still participate in becoming concubines for financial stability. Is that, perhaps, the relationship you now share with the general and Mr. Branwen here?”

“E-Excuse me?!” Taiyang spluttered, stumbling to a stop as his cheeks went bright red with mortification. Beside him, for probably the first time in his life, Qrow seemed to of been rendered speechless as he just stared, jaw agape.

James could feel the blood rushing hot in his veins, his scroll giving a warning creak as his grip tightened even more.

Oliver, quick on the draw but not on the shot, continued, “Or perhaps, it’s the other way around? After all, the background check reveals you’ve also had two daughters with two separate mothers within a very short amount of time of each other. While Mr. Branwen’s records show he also originates from Anima and has the same cultural appropriation as yourself, how did you convince General Ironwood of all people to enter into such an arrangement?”

Qrow’s face had twisted into absolute rage. “Matchstick, you did not just-”

He never even got a chance to finish before Tai moved.

It was so quick, had James not had such a well-trained eye, he would have easily missed the exact way the brawler whirled on the young man and bashed him right in the face; the punch was so powerful, it blew right through the other’s aura and the crack of breaking bone split loud in the air. The force flung the reporter right out of the camera’s view and there was a sound of shattering glass and screams. Whomever was working it quickly turned, revealing the broken storefront window across the street and the gathering of pedestrians crowding around the unconscious, sprawled form of Oliver Sikes.

“Tai!”

The view moved back to the duo. Qrow had grabbed onto the blond’s arm, looking around furtively for an escape. Tai, a mask of impassive calm, slowly turned and faced the camera straight on. The only indication of the inferno of fury underneath that visage was the golden-orange glow of his eyes. And for a moment, James was back at the tail-end of the war, during the last time he’d ever even seen Tai with his semblance activated. One second, he had been going toe-to-toe with Hazel Rainart, the next their enemy was being flung through a wall as the blond casually stalked after him, looking much like the ferocious beast of legend he was named after.

Shaking of the vestiges of the past, he focused back on the video. And when Tai spoke, James felt a disturbed shiver run down his spine at that tone filled with nothing but malevolence and wrath, “If you do not wish to join him, perhaps you should turn that camera off now.”

The feed ended and Jewell appeared back on screen. “Authorities managed to arrest both men a few blocks from the incident, and currently have them in holding at a local station. Oliver Sikes was transported to the nearest hospital, where he is currently being treated for multiple lacerations, along with a broken jaw and fractured skull.”

As she moved onto the next headline, James turned off his phone and slumped back into the passenger seat of the car with a loud sigh, already feeling the weight of a long and awful day that would precedent many long and awful weeks. And Tai, much newer to their relationship than he and Qrow had been when they had been discovered, might be the cost this time. The idea that he might lose the blond when he barely got to have him at all just because people couldn’t mind their own god damn business infuriated him as much as it tore him apart.

Other than a quiet glance his way, Winter said nothing as she turned into the parking lot of the police station.

~

“He’s over here, being as cooperative as ever.” The commissioner said as she led him through the interrogation center, something about her tone belaying someone whose day had already been too much. On top of everything else in her lap that day, having to deal with Qrow’s ornery attitude, of which she was all-too familiar with, probably was the cherry on top of her least favorite type of sundae.

“I’m sorry about this.” James replied. Lila Bradley had been a friend ever since his academy days and she had always been a trusted confidant when it came to keeping him in the loop of certain local legal issues that he might need to be aware of – the most brazen of which was the pedophile case of a recognized officer’s brother.

However, he had never thought he’d need her assistance on such a personal matter before. He knew it was no mistake that his two lovers had ended up in her hands, and for that, he was already grateful.

The commissioner plucked some keys off a wall, morosely staring at the two-way mirror as she said, “It couldn’t just be another bar fight, could it?”

James peered in as well.

Qrow was balancing on his chair’s back two legs, arms loosely crossed over his chest as he spoke more to the ceiling then his audience. “Look, I don’t know what you want me to say. I told the kid to back off. He didn’t. Then he said some shit he shouldn’t have and it got him in trouble. If you ask me, he caused his own situation there.”

His interrogator standing across from him was a young woman. Her long braid of pinkish-white hair fell over her shoulder as she shook her head at him. “So, you think what your friend did back there was just fine and dandy?”

“Perhaps,” He said the word almost as spitefully as Tai had, “The fucker should have considered his mouth before calling us a bunch of sluts all over national television.”

The deputy questioning him remained unmoved by their plight, saying steadily, “That’s still no reason to send a guy to a hospital. He wasn’t threatening you in any way. You should have just walked away.”

“Thanks for the life lesson there Eggshell.” He replied, voice drawling with sarcasm, “Should I try talking things out with Grimm next? Start sending out invitations to tea parties?”

She slammed her hands down on the table. “That’s not even remotely-”

Lila unlocked and opened the door in one quick movement, stepping into the room. “Shelly!”

The officer jerked around. “Ma’am!” When he walked into the room next, her eyes bulged some, quickly saluting as her heels clicked together. “General, sir!”

“At ease.” He told her.

“We’ll take over from here. Go take a break.” Her boss added.

Once Shelly had left and the door was again closed, he turned to Qrow. The man hadn’t even moved, though he did smirk his way. “Hey Jimmy-boy. Finally left that stuffy office long enough to come save me?”

“I don’t know. A day in here might do you some good.”

“Please don’t inflict that on me.” Lila said as she flipped off the microphone and camera to the room, allowing the three of them some true privacy.

The legs of the chair made an audible clack as they landed back on the floor, the man sending her a wink. “An evening with me too much for you, toots?”

“I’m certain your star performance is ten minutes at best,” Was her short return as she leaned back against the wall.

There was an amused snort, but as James came to stand beside him, Qrow looked towards him, “You saw the video, right?”

“Yeah.” Just the thought of it was enough to make his headache creep back, “I did.”

“The hell are we gonna do?”

For the long term, he had no idea. But for right now… “Under normal circumstances, he’d have to be executed here for the crime. But Tai’s not a citizen of Atlas yet, meaning he falls under the jurisdiction of the military, not the local authorities. It won’t take much for him to be appointed under my charge.”

That seemed to ease Qrow some, until the commissioner spoke up, “But, by the time this all hits the court, he’ll have his green card, so he’ll still have to attend a sentencing and he’ll be tried as a citizen regardless. In the best-case scenario, a lawyer will be able to convince the jury that Sikes assaulted first, but there’s a very high chance he’s going to be doing some time.”

“Ugh.” The huntsman groaned, placing his head in his hands. “Why is Atlas so fucked up?”

“Moreover though,” Lila turned to James, saying, “Do you really want to pull Taiyang out of here based on a technicality like that?”

“What?” Qrow looked up. “Why the fuck wouldn’t he?!”

“You give him special treatment now, the defense will flock to that like sheep; but if you make him responsible, the judge might take more sympathy.” She sighed, running a hand through her pixie-cut brown hair. “Look, if you want my true opinion? No matter which way I angle it, I’ve still got someone in a hospital and someone who needs to be held responsible. The best option is to keep him in holding until things calm down.”

“Hell no.”

James gave the man beside him a look that he hoped said ‘behave’, before saying softly, “Lila, I know how this looks-”

“Do you?” She cut back tersely. “James, if this had been one of your men, you would have incarcerated them yourself.”

“Or shot them.” Qrow quipped with bitter humor.

Ignoring that, she folded her arms over her chest, continuing, “I’m just saying, you’re not exactly the most objective person to be making a decision like this right now. If the public finds out you released Taiyang, you know how the press will try to twist that.”

“Who cares about the damn press! We’re not leaving him here!”

“You should, if you give any merit to the men you’re dating, that is.”

The huntsman was on his feet almost immediately. “Where do you get off-”

“Qrow!” The snap of his name made him flinch, the man turning to scowl down at him. “She’s not wrong. We are making this decision solely on emotion.”

“No, yeah I get it, believe me.” He waved his arms out expressively, before placing a hand on the table to lean forward, an angry gleam in his red eyes. “But thing is Jimmy, that shit’s already out for the whole world to see. So, while we all put up with the fact that every damn newspaper and magazine from here to the black markets of Vacuo chat about how we’re whoring my best friend around between us, least we can fucking do is let him suffer in the comfort of his own home before he has to be holed up in a goddamn jail cell!”

James breathed softly through his nose, trying to stay calm. “Sometimes to avoid exasperating a situation, it requires making a decision we may not prefer.” He could already see a retort on the tip of the other’s tongue, so he said first, “But it does not mean we should be the one’s making it.”

That caught the other off guard. “Meaning?”

He glanced over to Lila. “Would it be possible for us to see Tai?”

Her eyes darted between them, before she pushed off the wall. “Of course. I’ll bring him here.”

When the door had shut again he turned back to Qrow. Most of the fight had blown out of the man, leaving him partially slumped against the table as he scowled at the wall. He stepped up next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “One way or another, we’re going to figure this out, Qrow.” He followed the length of his arm until he could curl his own hand around the other’s where it was curled tightly around the edge of the table. “I promise.”

Whether the other believed him or not was hard to tell, but eventually the tension eased as he turned his hand, interlacing their fingers together and pressing himself against James’ side. “Can’t be any harder than fighting Salem, right?”

“Can’t imagine it will be.” He said, nuzzling his face into Qrow’s hair.

“Hey now, do you know how long that takes me to style?”

“Unfortunately yes, I do.” He joked lightly. “You’re undoubtably the reason they call it fashionably late.”

He got hip-checked in reprimand for that one. “I’m not that bad.”

“And yet I was the one who had to lie about when our dates started.”

“Pff, whatever.” He turned his head so it rested in the hollow of James’ clavicle.

They continued on like that, keeping the conversation light, just trying to find a way to pass the time as they waited. None of it was consequential, though James did find out his two lovers indeed had been on a lunch date enjoying the warm spring day, before they’d been ambushed. Likewise, he told Qrow about his mock plans to put him as the figurehead on the council so he could convince all the other “high collars” where they could shove their fiscal budget; mostly, he just enjoyed hearing him chuckle. When they ran out of things to say, they just stayed close, silently supporting each other as the weight of the mess they were in tried to weigh on them. It wasn’t until they heard the turn of the lock in the door that they pulled apart, watching as it opened and Lila ushered Tai into the room.

As Qrow flocked to his best friend’s side, Lila eyed him and gave him a nod. “Take all the time you need.”

“Thank you.” James replied frankly. Another click of the door and they were once more locked in.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. I mean, not really but…”

He turned his gaze to the two men. Qrow had his hand around the other’s wrist, bowing his back a bit to try and get the blond to look at him. “Tai,” He said stepping forward and it was enough that Tai darted his gaze towards him. The sight of him gave him pause. His face had paled like the life had been drained from him and stress and fear carved wrinkles into his forehead. But none of that stood out quite like: “Your eyes…”

Lilac-shaded eyes blinked back at him, and then he looked down, chuckling humorlessly as he held up his free hand. “Yeah, no aura.”

He recognized the inhibitor instantly of course. He’d put the same binds on many previous criminals himself. But looking at the white handcuff, blue lights on it indicating it was functioning and depleting the wearer’s aura, James couldn’t help but feel how wrong it was to see that same bind on Tai of all people. He reached out and caught his hand, rubbing gently at the reddened skin where the shackle had chaffed it, whispering solemnly, “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Tai was staring at him again. “I’m the one who punched someone through a window!”

“Because someone decided to dig through your history and shame you on public television!” He could feel his blood running hot again and he quickly let go of the other so he didn’t accidentally grip him too hard. “You and Qrow shouldn’t be harassed like this on the streets. But you will be, all because you’re with me.”

“Oh hell no.” Qrow intervened loudly, whirling on him. “Stop those damn thoughts right now because you are not doing this again.”  

“But-”

“No, I fucking mean it!” He said, cutting his hand through the air. “The rest of the world can go fuck itself!”

Tai placed a hand on his teammate’s shoulder, glancing his way. “I think what Qrow means in his delightfully articulate way is: we know who we’re dating James. You’re a public figure and that means everyone is going to be in your business. Honestly, I knew it was only a matter of time someone would headline me as being some affair or mistress.” That caught James a bit off guard, guilt tangling its way through his heart. He had predicted this? Tai was staring back at the ground again, running a hand over the back of his neck. “But I never expected them to make the same claims about you guys. Or Raven and Summer. That’s why I lost it. I can handle someone insulting me. But I wasn’t really ready to have someone insult everyone I’ve ever loved.”

“It was low.” Qrow spit caustically.

“That’s no excuse!” He retorted, voice cracking. “Everyone’s going to pay consequences for this, not just me. Reporters are going to be stalking you both for weeks!” Tai turned towards him. “And I know the council is going to be on your ass over this for months.”

True as it was, the urge to argue the matter surged through him. James didn’t want him thinking that was his fault – and anyways, the unfortunate truth was even had there been no violent retaliation, the fallout probably would have been about the same. It was just a bit more complicated now.

He never got a chance before the other was shaking his head, tangling his hand into his blond hair. “I haven’t even considered Ruby and Yang. I can’t even get ahold of them from in here. And that poor kid.” His watering eyes squeezed shut. “Fuck! I didn’t mean to hurt him. I don’t even know if he’s okay.”  

Whatever residual blame James was feeling was quickly overshadowed by his sudden worry for Tai. He carefully coaxed the hand from his hair, letting him hold onto him instead. “I called on the way over. Sikes is going to make a full recovery.”

“And I’ll smooth things over with the girls.” Qrow said, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. “Things are going to be fine Tai-guy. Come on, let’s sit down, alright?”

Many minutes later found them all sitting back against the wall. A much calmer Tai was between them, sitting crossed legged. James was at his left, his arm braced along the blond’s waist for comfort as he let him lean up against his shoulder. At his right was Qrow, one knee drawn up and hand dangling over it, while his other held Tai’s. As the tension eased, they started to shuffle through their options on what to do next.

“How about this,” Qrow intervened as they cycled over the pros and cons of putting Tai under military house arrest for the third time now, “What’s the best and worst case scenario here?”

James rubbed his chin, thinking it over. “Best case is Sikes never presses charges. We won’t know whether he will be or not until he can make an official statement with the police, which will probably be a few days from now. But if he doesn’t, then we’ll just have to deal with some fines and this’ll blow over in a few weeks.”

“What’s the likelihood of that though?”

“Not very. Even if he doesn’t want to, I imagine his superiors will push him into it just for the coverage.”  

Tai tilted his head just enough to look up at him. “And worst case?”

He grimaced, unable to meet his eyes. “Would be you getting the maximum sentence. It would be about half a dozen counts of assault, one count on property damage and one count battery. If it’s all treated like a misdemeanor, it would result in quite a few fines and about a year in jail. But, the problem is the battery count. If the judge determines it was a felony… that could be an additional four years.”

He heard the nervous swallow, Tai saying weakly, “That’s scary.”

“That’s the worst case and I really can’t see it going that far.” But it could, and that was the problem.

Qrow scoffed, scowling at nothing in particular. “What about what Pixie-cut said, that Sikes assaulted first? How does that work? He didn’t attack us.”

“No but assault can be verbal too. Technically, he never got permission to film or question either of you.” James explained. “You had denied consent entirely and even though Tai gave answers, the omission of saying yes still counts. Defacing someone’s character isn’t exactly lawful in the books either. It won’t abolish his own charges, but the fact that it can be construed that Tai was baited, it might help lessen whatever sentence he gets.”

“But that’s why I can have so many counts against me too, right?” The blond spoke up, realization dawning along his face. “Because I threatened the camera guy and could of hurt bystanders?”

“Right.”

Tai pressed a hand over his face, heaving a sigh, “All this legal stuff is a bit beyond me.” He straightened up, looking between the two of them. “Alright, before we do anything rash, why don’t you guys go and consult a lawyer? You can ask them what the best course of action is.”

That was actually a fairly solid idea. “But we’d have to leave you in here.” James pointed out.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I know.”

“I don’t really like that.” Qrow grumbled, sliding down the wall some.

“Neither do I, but it’s safe. And right now, that’s what we need: to play it safe.” He pulled a bit at the shackle, twisting it along his skin. “Besides, I’m not trying to erase myself of any responsibility on this. I screwed up. So I’ll face whatever consequences I get for it.”

Qrow groaned, burying his head into the blond’s arm as he growled, “I hate it when you get self-righteous like this.”

Tai spared him a compassionate smile, running his fingers through the other’s dark hair, just enough to get those red eyes to peer up at him again. “Sorry, not all of us can be as immoral as you.”

Though James couldn’t see Qrow’s expression, he could see the blond’s. How his smile faded and the light in his eyes went out as the weight of the situation crushed over him once more. Tai reached out, pulling his best friend close and clinging onto him almost desperately. The other man said nothing, just pressed his face into his neck.

The sight of them seemed to amplify the heaviness James could also feel, almost making it hard to breathe. He moved forward, curving his other arm around Qrow’s thin waist as he dragged them both against his chest and whispered baseless promises against their hair, “We’ll be fine. We’re going to get through this.”

He just prayed that he could somehow make those words true.

~

James lifted his head from his hand when a mug was placed down on his desk. From the aroma, he could tell it was coffee. He looked up at the person who had brought it to him curiously.

“You looked like you could use it.” Winter said in way of explanation, straightening up respectively. “If I may be so bold, sir, you haven’t been looking well.”

“I’m fine.” He replied, rubbing a hand over his burning eyes. “Things have just been… stressful at home.”

That was an understatement. Things were absolutely miserable.

Winter gave a nod, crossing her arms behind herself. “I can imagine.” She seemed to debate her next words carefully, before adding, “While I’ve always respected your dedication, I do hope you’ll consider some time to yourself soon, sir.”

Irritation hit him like a wave on the beach, fast and then receding quickly, leaving him further worn. Could he really fault her concern? He knew how he must appear. “I will… consider it Schnee. But for now, I need to finish my work.” He nodded to the cup. “Thank you for the coffee.”

She saluted. “Sir.” And with that, turned and left the room.

He sighed, slumping back over to rest his head back into his hands.

Though Sikes had awoken after the first day in the hospital, he had yet to give any sort of statement. It had been nine days now and still no news. The apprehension was starting to get to even him, but it seemed to be even worse on Qrow. The huntsman was refusing to leave the house, unwilling to face the press right now, and most nights found him drinking heavily. He doubted he was eating much, intaking his calories with the alcohol instead.

Tensions really came to a head last night though, when Qrow ran his last bottle of whiskey dry and James denied going out to get him more, claiming he’d be better off without it. Which, of course, rose slurred allegations of him acting like a tyrannical know-it-all. Fighting with a drunk Qrow was never pleasant. But he quickly discovered dealing with a crying, drunk Qrow was worse which was where things eventually ended. He had never seen the other man like this before. Had it not been for Tai, frowning knowingly at the updates on his behavior, not warned him of the potential outcome, it might have even scared him a bit.

Since this morning, with some time to sober up, Qrow was doing much better both emotionally and mentally, but the whole fiasco had left James only a few hours to sleep before he had to roll out of bed again. Not that it really mattered, since after many long years of dormancy, his insomniac tendencies decided to return with a vengeance. He’d already been up over twenty-four hours on two occasions now, mind too wrapped up in anxious thoughts to allow him to slow down and rest. When he was at home, he felt like he wasn’t doing enough. But when he was at work, he was struggling to focus. And when he wasn’t dealing with the press or council breathing down his neck, he was spending it at the police department.

He could still see the concern in those lilac eyes as Tai asked, “James, you have been sleeping, right?”

He shook off the memory. Of all of them, Tai was handling things the best, despite being in the most dire situation. Every time they met in the visitation center, he was doing his best to smile and even crack a joke or two. Had already said more than once now that worrying over the unknown wasn’t good for them and all they could do was wait until they had something more concrete. If he had to guess, James wagered he was putting on a brave front for him – and Qrow, who may not have been visiting in person but was sneaking out in bird form to sit at Tai’s window.

The ringing of his phone jerked James upright, and he blinked down at the device blearily. When it gave another shrill tone, the noise buzzing oddly along his dim senses, he reached out and picked up the receiver. “Hello?”

“I have wonderful news!” It was Nikolas Falco, the defense attorney he had hired to look into their case. Lila had been the one to recommend him, telling him he was the best in the business. Though the slightly eccentric thirty-year-old was certainly not what he expected when he walked into his office the first time. He heard the man give a cough as he remembered himself, “I mean, General Ironwood, sir, I-”

“You can get to the point, Falco.” He said, not caring for semantics right now. “What did you hear? Did we get a plea bargain?”

“Even better! Sikes isn’t going to press charges!” He practically sang.

“W-What?” James fell back against his chair, unable to believe it. “But, why?”

Falco gave a thoughtful hum. “No clue. Sometimes people just don’t want to go through the trouble. Other people don’t want to get mixed into a high-end case with a powerful figure. Or maybe he was just feeling guilty. Either way, you know what they say: Don’t look a Griffon Grimm in the mouth unless you want to get bit!” He snickered. When James failed to answer, the lawyer coughed, then said, “Anyways, congratulations! I’ve already given word to the commissioner. She’s ready to release Mr. Xiao Long upon your arrival. So, if you want my advice, get going!”

That seemed to break him from his shock, jumping to his feet. “Right, of course! Thank you, Falco. I’ll send you a check tomorrow.” He hurriedly ended the call, before lifting the receiver again, heart pounding rapidly as he started to dial Qrow’s number. Tai, he’d be coming home today! He couldn’t believe their luck!

Just as he was about to press the last digit in, his eyes fell to the coffee still cooling on his desk. His hand hovered there, suspicion starting to grow, and then he pressed down on the cradle, hanging up the call. When he dialed again, it was much slower, more deliberate.

It didn’t take long for the Intelligence Department to answer. “General Ironwood, it’s a pleasure!”

“Cecilia, I need a number.”

“Of course. For who?”

He told her, quickly writing it down when she’d gathered the information for him. As he dialed that number, he slowly took his seat, breath stuck in his throat as he waited for an answer.

Just when he thought it might go to an answering machine instead, he heard the click of someone picking up, and then a gentle voice of an elder woman was in his ear. “Hello?”

“Good day ma’am. Is this Mrs. Lola Sikes?”

“Why yes, it is. How may I help you?”

“Mrs. Sikes, I apologize for calling at this time, but this is General James Ironwood.”

He heard her gasp. “O-Oh! Oh my.” She pulled away from the phone, probably hoping she was being discreet as she took a few deep breathes. When she came back to the phone, her tone was cheery and bright, “I feel honored, General. Did you call to speak with my son?”

“I would prefer he continue to rest. I understand he is still recovering, though if you can give him my gratitude for not pressing charges I would be eternally grateful. I also wished to offer my condolences and deepest regret over what happened. I would have reached out sooner, had the situation not been what it was.”

“Never you mind that.” She was quick to say. “I raised my boy to be more respectful then he was that day, so if anyone should apologize, I feel it should be me. Ollie will be just fine and maybe now he’ll think a bit more before he opens his mouth. Not that he’ll be opening it at all until those wires come out.”

He wasn’t sure whether he was meant to laugh or not; his lips quirked up all the same as he lent forward, folding an arm across his desk. “Be that as it may, I know those medical charges must be steep. At the very least, allow me to front them.”  

“That is very kind of you, truly. But, it’s already been taken care of.”

“Oh? May I ask by whom?”

“Why, Miss. Winter Schnee of course.” He knew it. James shut his eyes, listening to her continue on, “It was quite a shock when she came in to check on my son in the hospital. Quite a lovely and sweet girl, really. She spoke very highly of you as well.”

“I see. She is my best subordinate. Well, I suppose I should let you go then. Again, I apologize for all the trouble caused. If there is anything else I can possibly provide, please do not hesitate to ask.”

Mrs. Sikes gave a soft noise of disapproval. “Believe me General, I’m just glad to be done with this awful situation. I wish you and yours well.”

“As I yours.” He replied. “Have a good day ma’am.”

He set the phone down and lifted it up one more time. Rather then punching in a number, he quickly dialed the extension to the office secretary. “Jaxon, can you call Schnee back to my office?”

“Yes, sir!”

By the time his door was opening, James had already packed up and was waiting in front of his desk. Though she seemed a bit taken aback by his change of demeanor, she saluted him all the same. “You asked for my presence General?”

“I did.” James said, leaning back against the wooden surface behind him as he crossed his arms. “Tai’s being released today. As it turns out, there won’t be any charges against him.”

“Really? That’s wonderful news!” She said, and had he not been looking for it, even he would have been fooled by the falsely surprised tone. She was once Jacques’ perfect performance doll after all, and those skills had never quite left her arsenal.

“Yes. It is.” He agreed slowly, “However, when I offered the Sikes household reimbursement for the bills, it turns out it was already taken care of. I imagine that same generous donor also persuaded him from going through with the case.” The growing wariness on her face fell to shame as she realized she had been discovered, her head lowering. He knew the reaction had very little to do with him, but it still pained him to see her like this. What teachings did you have to give to a child to make them believe being kind was a crime?

He pushed off from the desk, approaching her slowly.

“Sir?” She asked him questionably, only to gasp in surprise when he reached out, pulling her into a gentle embrace. She stood rigidly, stunned and maybe a bit confused. “S-Sir?”

“Thank you, Winter.” He said sincerely, though the longer she remained stiff and unmoving in his arms, the more he worried he maybe overstepped his bounds.

Just as he was considering to pull away, she relaxed, returning the gesture hesitantly. “It was nothing, James. Really.”

He smiled. “If I thought you’d accept it, I’d offer to pay you back.”

As expected, she shook her head. “With all due respect, this was one I owed to you.” That got him to draw back finally, quirking an eyebrow in question. She looked up towards him, saying, “Do you remember what you told me when my father was holding me back from the specialist exams?  You said if I truly wished to become a Huntress, to be all that I could be, that I’d have to take some risks every now and again. It gave me the courage to finally step away from my family, to become my own person. And it’s with that, I was able to finally find happiness.” Her own smile was small but genuine. “Protecting your happiness in return was the least I could do.”

“You had that strength in you all along.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “I just gave you a nudge in the right direction.”

In the sassiest tone she would ever allow herself around him, she replied, “Then I gave you a shove.”

James laughed heartily. “Indeed. Thank you.”

She nodded, then added, “If I may ask one favor though?”

“Anything.”

“Don’t… tell Qrow about this.” She rolled her eyes. “He’ll never shut up if he knows.”

He didn’t have to stretch his imagination far to picture the scenario. It would probably only take one ‘Ice Queen what finally went and melted your heart?’ for Atlas Academy’s courtyard to be the next on the list of unfortunate causalities that resulted from their skirmishing. And they didn’t have a Glynda to put it all back together when they were done, either.

“Consider it done.”

She relaxed considerably. “Excellent. Are you heading to the police station then?”

“After a few calls, yes.”

“Allow me to let you get to it.” Her heels clacked together. “I hope you have a good evening, sir.”

“You as well, Winter.” As she took her leave, he crossed back over to his desk, pulling out his scroll. There would still be a lot to deal with in the coming weeks, but things were certainly in a much better place then they had been just an hour ago.

“Mmmgha, yea Jim?”

As soon as James heard Qrow’s sleepy drawl, joy zinged through him as he circled his desk, looking for his keys. Nothing in the world could have made him stop smiling at that moment. “You’ll never believe the call I just got.”

A/N: Thank you all for reading and I hope you’ll all stick with me for the next one. Tai’s perspective is up next!

A few inconsequential notes:

I’m not sure how clear I made it, but Tai’s semblance in this is meant to be “aura disruption”. Basically, when his semblance is active, he can go right past someone else’s to deliver a wounding hit right off the bat. And while most semblances aren’t hereditary, I adore the idea that between parents and kids they can have similarities between just because of genetics or whatever. Which is why, like his daughter, his semblance also creates a change of eye color and a temperament change.

Atlas’ police, legal and citizenship system is American inspired but done with amateur research. Anima is of course Asian, with the mentions of Tai’s culture being drawn from Chinese history specifically. Vale, and by extension Patch, is supposed to be subtly European, as the Europe area was the first to make Psychology a science (Germany, actually). Whether that’s accurate to what the show is actually doing is kind of up in the air, since the culture references are all over the place.

James and Winter’s very slight father-daughter relationship is entirely because of Jacques line about how James “stole his daughter from him”.

Name inspirations:

Oliver Sikes is a reference to Oliver Twist. Oliver being the protagonist, Sikes being the antagonist. Sikes, ironically, has a prostitute for a girlfriend in the book. I made him a ginger after Oliver the cat from Disney’s Oliver’s Company.

Jewell Olsen and Lola Sikes are both references to Superman’s Jimmy Olsen and LOis LAne.

Nikolas Falco is a reference to Law and Order’s detective Nick Falco but the eccentric nature is meant to give a more Pheonix Wright vibe.

Shelly is a reference to seashells.

Lila Bradley isn’t a reference to anyone, I just liked the last name and had to find something that sounded good with it and fit the color naming rule. Same for Cecilia, Jaxon and Major Sergeant Steele.

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 62 Rundown!

Code Geass: The Season Finale of R1 is here and shit is going CRAZY, Tokyo is falling apart, Jeremiah is in his flying pumpkin thing fucking things up, Lelouch decides to drop absolutely everything because Nunally’s been taken, Kallen decides to drop everything because Lelouch has been taken, Nina has a bomb fueled with pure lesbian yandere rage, the cat save Suzaki, Cecile’s piloting a proto-lancelot and Lelouch and Suzaki finally confront each other face to face just in time for Kallen to stop giving a fuck when she finds out Lelouch is Zero (like not saying her and Lelouch could’ve definitely taken Suzaku because his gymnastics skills are absurd, but having another gun trained on Suzaku if Kallen hadn’t gotten distracted definitely would’ve helped) like everyone likes Zero when he’s a dude in a mask but once he’s a dude without a mask everyone’s like ‘dude wtf’ V for Vendetta was right, anyone who’s trying to do anything has to wear a mask or shit just doesn’t get done. Anyway, big cliffhanger, sure this will slide into an action-packed Season 2 and won’t be a glorified reset button.

Inuyasha: The plot armor around Naraku weakens briefly and throws Koga, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru into a frenzy trying to go kill him. Except Naraku’s not actually at his castle anymore so the scent they’re actually sniffing is Kanna and Kagura at his castle while Naraku dips out to go have his time of the month, kind of a dick move but Naraku’s life is just a list of dick moves. Inuyasha’s having his time of the month too and can’t do shit while Kagura fights Koga and takes his jewel shards but Kagura’s fed up with Naraku’s shit and goes to barter with Sesshomaru, offering him the jewel shards to go kill Naraku and Sesshomaru’s just like “Bitch I am doing it for free.”

Yu Yu Hakusho: By process of elimination, Rando is either Shorin or Kuwabara, and it’s not Kuwabara. I like that Yusuke briefly entertains the idea that Rando might be hiding as Genkai or some shit because that’s a twist a different type of anime would have but yeah, Shorin fucks Kuwabara up with an OP spell that shrinks him if they give him enough prep time and because YYH learned from DBZ and they always let the bad guys do their techniques at least once Kuwabara gets shrunk and squashed. Luckily Yusuke’s Blaze ability activates just before his fight and he’s super strong and super pissed about Kuwabara getting beaten and socks Rando’s meat puppet in the face only for the real demon to come out.

Unlimited Blade Works: Kind of a regrouping episode while Gilgamesh watches the Cronenburg Shinji grail become a flesh titan thing. Everyone’s resting up and Rin thinks that if they can get Shirou to Archer’s level then they can beat Gilgamesh which just goes to show if Archer had stopped being a shitwit and waited until they took out the final boss before going after himself with his death wish then we wouldn’t have this problem. But anyway, mana jellyfish and implied sex scenes occur because they have to make metaphorical use of Rin and Shirou’s ‘romance’without going the original hentai route with things so they do some sort of Vulcan mind meld that combines their MP so Shirou has enough manga to do the Unlimited Blade Works thing to fight Gilgamesh’s Unlimited Butt Works thing and I still have no fucking clue what’s going on with the grail. Also thought Servants were supposed to be impossible levels above humans but I guess if you jam two people’s MP pools together and throw one into a fight against himself it evens out, fine, servants are a lot less powerful than I thought.

Panty and Stocking: This is definitely the “just throw whatever pieces of half-finished stuff we have into an episode” episode, it’s really hard to avoid the feeling that we’re not getting the scraps with this one. The anatomy episode is short and weird and only has like two scenes inside Brief where Panty and Stocking are fucking around for no reason and then it just kinda works itself out, everything’s really choppy and it feels like they got the beginning and end done and just didn’t flesh out the middle so they stuck it in an episode with several other shorts. The Chuck to the Future trilogy is fun enough in a Tom and Jerry kind of way, considering Chuck has no character and therefore is the only person in this series who can’t directly be an asshole but there’s really no substance to it and it ends with Chuck and Fastner’s brain demons fucking because of course it does. The D-City Rock Music video is easily the best part of this, I remember seeing this when the show first came out and it still rocks (though I’m now aware of how very out of character it is for the show itself) but it’s a nice little short. So yeah just kind of a weird mix-match of shorter vignettes this time which is okay I guess, it’s not as outright gross as the snot and puke episode but it’s rather half-baked.

FMA Brotherhood: Everyone’s dead until they aren’t, between Hoenheim using his peeps to reverse the everyone’s dead spell and Scar beating Bradley and doing another reversal on the ‘only foreign people can use alchemy’ spell, Father’s plan is fucked and he’s almost out of juice and on the backfoot. However just like in The Divine Comedy, Pride is the last deadly sin that everyone must face and Ed has to fight a weakened child which sounds a lot worse when I say it like that. Pride’s all ready to bodyhop int Ed but Kimblee’s like “Nah bro, fight on your own or don’t call yourself Pride” and Pride’s like “Wtf dude my body is literally a hellish nightmare of eternal torment” and Kimblee’s like “Eh I’ve heard worse” and Ed smashes this small child’s skull (again not as bad as it sounds) and turns him into a fetus so they can get on with the final battle.

Durarara!!: We get the conclusion of Rio’s story from last time interspersed with clips from the previous episode at a different angle so we can see what was really happening while Mikaido was watching the town from an outsider perspective. Basically Izaya’s a dick that wants to push people as much as he can and see what’ll happen and Rio learns an important lesson that people aren’t plotlines from a tv show and mistakes and secrets don’t irredeemably ruin them forever, forgiveness and acceptance are important because nobody’s perfect and the world isn’t as bad as we make it out to be.

[askaceattorney]

Dear jnv11,

Only one word comes to mind in that scenario:

Poor Simon would hit a new record for the number of times he shouted that word in a single trial, and Ms. Oldbag might actually run out of breath before she’s done complaining.

Dear jnv11,

You kidding? The woman’s tough, but she’d have a heart attack in no more than five minutes. It’s been a decade since we’ve seen ’er, plus young samurai prosecutor who was suspected of killing his teacher?

Dear anon,

I think what we’ll actually do is stop answering letters that involve real-world politicians altogether, or at least ones that defame them.  Just to be clear, the answers I came up with don’t reflect my actual opinion on Donald Trump.

Apologies to anyone who was hit the wrong way by those letters.  Make no mistake, I was very uncertain about whether or not I should even bother answering them, but the “answer everything you can” part of my mind eventually won over the “avoid political topics” part.  It was all in the spirit of comedy, but, as I should’ve expected, it became more hateful than funny, so I’d say I’ve learned my lesson now.

(Previous Letter)

Dear Ethan Starbright,

..................................................Pff...

PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Okay, I’m not sure why, but the utter randomness of that fact cracked me up for some reason.  Thanks for that.

Dear Ethan Starbright,

.............

.....I don’t get it.

(Previous Letter)

Dear 55,

Glad to hear it!  The Ace Attorney series is good at revealing the plot at just the right pace to keep you guessing about who the culprit is and/or what the motive for their crime was, but it’s just as entertaining to see Phoenix and company find the truth for themselves, even if you already happen to know some of it yourself.

Plot-wise, my favorite game was Trials and Tribulations, mostly because of how cleverly it jumped from one timeline (and main character) to another.  Throughout the game, we get to learn more about the events of the past and how they relate to the present day situation -- Mia’s first encounter with Phoenix, Godot’s true identity and history, how Winston Payne lost his hair, and so on, and every tiny bit of it makes the game more intriguing.  My favorite part was Iris’s confession about what she did for Phoenix near the end.  I’d love to see Hollywood try and come up with anything as beautifully touching as that.

It’s been a little while since I listened to the soundtracks from any of the trilogy games, but I think my favorite one comes from the first game, since it’s the most memorable for me.  I sure didn’t expect to hear those kind of fast and engaging tunes in a game about a lawyer, did you?  The other soundtracks are great too, of course, but the songs from the first game (especially the cross-examination theme) are the most fun for me to remember.

Dear Anonymous,

That’s actually happened a few times before.  I remember one letter were Maya claimed she’d never been out of the country even though PLvsAA is canon in this blog, and there was another where Apollo sounded skeptical about spirit channeling, even though he’d been born in the land of spirit mediums.  Chances are we’ll have to delete letters that point out contradictions like that, but we’ll try our best to answer them if possible.  There’s no way to tell what Capcom will come up with next, but that won’t stop us from making guesses about it in the meantime.

Dear Anonymous,

If something changes in the canon that isn’t reflected in a previous letter, it’s not important. Previous means not in the moment. Not in the moment means no one will notice unless they go far back enough. And if they comment on stuff that happened a while ago, they... no offence, kinda need a hobby.

Dear Professor Oak,

Yes.

Dear Professor Oak,

No.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Lachtigall,

Sorry to hear that, but hey, at least they picked a different character for the idea, so your letter will still get an answer.  We both answer whatever letters we find regardless of which character they’re written to, but in answer to your question about who answered that letter...

Just kidding, it was me.

Dear guquis,

That should be fine if you’re willing to wait that long.  Just make sure to indicate that in your letter.

Dear guquis,

if you want your letter to be on a specific date, specify it somehow. And also specify if you want that info blurred so it’s not obvious. It’ll be easier for us that way.

(Previous Letter)

Dear Ender,

It wasn’t intended to look scary in any way, but whatever floats your boat.  I thought she looked kind of cute like that, actually.

Dear Ender,

Trust me, neither of them are contenders in the scary contest anymore. Have you ever met Robert? THAT, sir, is scary.

Dear SC,

ComEVENo, huh?  That almost sounds like a Native American name.

I’ve finally finished watching Hotel Dusk, but I’ll save my reaction to it for last so I can go into full detail under the cut.  That’s how much I enjoyed it.

My favorite cross-examination theme is from AJ, believe it or not.  I love how it starts out slow and mysterious, then picks up speed and volume when Apollo’s about to discover a big truth.  It’s also nice how the melody begins on the offbeat.  It almost makes me want to dance to it.

I hadn’t thought much about which cross-examination I like best, but I’d probably go with the final confrontation with Furio Tigre.  While bluffing is nothing new for Phoenix, it was fun watching him use the supposedly useless evidence that Gumshoe gave him to give his doppelganger a taste of his own medicine.  It was one of those moments where I had no idea what his strategy was until Furio opened his huge mouth.  After that, it became an “Ooooooh...” kind of moment.

I’d love to see that case ranking you’ve made.  Every case has its ups and downs, but it’s fun to explore just what it is about each one that makes it memorable and...odd.  Let’s be honest, they all have at least a tiny bit of oddness added in somewhere, am I right?

-Modthorne and Co-Mod

(Hotel Dusk spoilers below)

Oh, man..........oh, MAN!!

Seriously, I can’t remember the last time a game’s story left me this satisfied from beginning to end.  To be fair, I just watched a playthrough of it on YouTube, so I might have avoided some potential frustration by not playing it myself, but man...  I can tell the developers put some serious heart into that game.  The music was delightful, the characters were all very charming, the art and animation style were done in a clever way, and the plot...  Man, oh, man.

First of all, there’s the setup: Kyle’s goal in visiting Hotel Dusk (aside from getting a delivery) is established from the very beginning -- finding his former police partner and figuring out why he turned rogue and forced him to nearly kill him.  Oddly enough, he has no real proof that visiting the hotel will lead him any closer to finding him -- all he has is a hunch.

Then there’s the way he goes about gathering information.  Even as a retired cop, his detective instincts are still keen, and by snooping around the hotel (with some help from his “old buddy” Louis), solving a few puzzles, and asking the right people the right questions, he not only gains tidbits of information about Bradley, but also learns the secrets of the hotel’s residents, and how they and their stories are interconnected.  And boy, did some of those connections surprise me.

But here’s what I loved most about the gameplay (and the entire game) -- in order to get the information he needs out of people, he first has to break them down to the point where they not only can’t hide the truth, but they realize how useless it is to keep lying to themselves.  In fact, Kyle said it perfectly himself during one of these confrontations:

Whether it’s pressuring a pretend author to admit to his plagiarism, telling the spoiled son of a lawyer how dangerous his revenge scheme is, or convincing a drunk father to appreciate what he still has -- namely, his daughter -- Kyle just won’t put up with lies, even if he has to sound like the rudest person on Earth to dispel every last one of them...and he doesn’t even need the help of a Magatama!

Like every game, of course, this one isn’t without its faults -- the interactive parts are short, there’s very little challenge in picking the right dialogue options (usually just whichever is less annoying), and the language, while not terrible, could’ve been left out -- but the charm of the story and its characters more than makes up for it.  Speaking of the story, it seems I was a little off on most of the predictions I made, but at least I was right about Melissa.  She didn’t disappoint at being adorable one bit.

Oh, and one more thing -- if anyone reading this feels like playing or watching this game, which I highly recommend, be prepared for your jaw to drop at the very end.  It’s that incredible.

And with that, my gushing about this game is over.  Thank you for suggesting it, SC!

[northamptoncouplestherapy]

At NCCT, we are dedicated to the leading research, techniques, and methodologies in couples therapy. To that end, we regularly seek out the expertise of colleagues with specializations in complementary fields, such as private practitioner Stephen J. Bradley, LICSW, LMHC, who offers insight on unique relationship dynamics through a trauma-informed lens.

Stephen has postgraduate training in Narrative Therapy from the Family Institute of Cambridge and is trained in the work of Dr. Bruce Perry and the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics through the Child Trauma Academy in Texas. Presently, he is certified Phase II/TTT in that model and has partnered with NCCT from 2014-2018 as a Couples Therapist.

Earlier this month, we reached out to Stephen to gain a deeper understanding of childhood trauma and its impact on romantic relationships, a topic Stephen has extensive experience in from his 25 years of treating adults, children and families. He is especially passionate about working with children and families who have experienced trauma.

Our goal in this interview was to identify the unique role trauma plays in romantic relationships and to offer tools to support couples struggling with its legacy. As expected, Stephen provided a wealth of information on the subject. Below are the key takeaways, organized in a Q&A format.

1. Stephen, what exactly is ‘trauma’? How would you definite it, and how can we recognize the role it plays in our relationships?

Trauma comes in many different forms and can move across generations. Many families we work with have experienced direct physical, mental or emotional trauma. Or, they have witnessed varied types of trauma, such as physical conflict, domestic violence, external stressors and also systematic oppression based on gender, race or sexual orientation.

From birth through age 3, we are just forming our relational templates — what we use to guide our interactions with others — in the context of a caregiver relationship. These templates are where the trauma piece most often comes into play. If a person experiences trauma in the history of their attachment relationships, it can have a significant impact on their future relationships, particularly with their romantic partners.

As we make that emotional bond with a romantic partner, the attachment we form will activate our initial relational templates. If we experience traumatic events in the course of those early relationships, we are more vulnerable to having those early traumas “activated.” At its most intense, this can sometimes result in experiencing connection with a loved one as “threatening” emotionally, rather than comforting.

2. From your experience, what is the most important lesson that both couples and parents can learn regarding trauma?

So much of the work we do in couples therapy involves the part of our brain that is most relational. Generally, we can think of the brain as having “older and newer” parts which have developed evolutionarily.

The older parts of our brain include the brainstem, which regulates basic functions like breathing and our heart rate, and the cerebellum, which is where our stress response system lives. The newer parts include the limbic system, the source of our relational and connection abilities and the cortex, the most abstract, complex thinking part of our brain.

Ironically, the parts of our brain that are most relational are structurally close to the part of our brain that controls our stress response system. What is the reason for this? The most prominent threat to human beings is other human beings.

If I were to ask the average person to think of a time when they were in an argument and the next day thought to themselves, "I can't believe I said that; I can’t believe I lost my cool,” almost everyone would be able to name at least one instance when this occurred. Why? When our stress response system is activated, the first parts of our brain to shut down are the newer parts of our brain, the cortex and the limbic system. Our ability to think clearly and connect is hindered. When those go, we are more likely to come from a place of fight or flight.

According to Dr. Perry, the Founder of The Child Trauma Academy in Texas, we actually become "dumber" the more upset we get. In other words, we lose our ability to be our best, most caring and effective selves with our partners. For people with a history of childhood trauma, a strong fight/flight/freeze response can result.

Also, people who have experienced interpersonal trauma, abuse or neglect as children are more likely to have a sensitized nervous system. They are more likely to get upset and can take longer to cool down. This can leave people who’ve experienced trauma feeling a deep sense of shame - thinking they are “bad” or “wrong” somehow.

However, this is neither true nor is it a helpful way to think about traumatic experiences. In fact, Oprah and Bruce Perry , did a segment on 60 Minutes on Treating Childhood Trauma.

One key takeaway was a shift away from the ‘what is wrong with you’ mindset towards the ‘what happened to you’ line of thinking.

We work with couples to help them recognize when their stress response is being activated, but we are also careful not to blame them. We help them see that it is understandable and natural for them to have that response given what they've experienced.

3. What does it mean to regulate ourselves or to avoid ‘dysregulation’? And how can we bring ourselves, and our partners, back into a more calm state?

Most of us have a good idea of the kinds of activities that help us feel calmer, less stressed. We remind people to do more of those things, such as spending time in nature, dancing, doing yoga, walking their dog, listening to music or exercising. These are all self-regulating activities that reduce the chance of our stress response system being activated. They help us to be more functional, attentive partners.

Then there is co-regulation, which interestingly occurs first between a parent and an infant. As infants just coming into the world, we don't know how to self-regulate and depend on the adults around us to do that for us. Coregulation can involve anything from a massage or back rub to a deep conversation where there is meaningful listening.

4. Do people who have experienced childhood trauma struggle with closeness? Is there a limit to the amount of connection survivors of trauma can accept from their partners?

Yes, in some ways, having childhood trauma in your past can create obstacles to intimacy in a partnership. In other words, the level to which one feels comfortable with their partner can be negatively impacted by their past experiences.

Imagine a stranger comes up to you who you have never met and engages in a lengthy conversation with their nose just an inch from your face. That would probably activate your inner alarm system, right?

Most people in this situation would agree this feels “too intimate” and may leave us feeling confused, defensive or upset. For children who have experienced trauma, however, it doesn’t take a stranger to activate their inner alarm bells. It can be someone they know well, such as a teacher approaching them in class.

When partners come together, this can become a real conundrum. It can become stressful for people who have experienced abuse or neglect. So, we help them apply the brakes and ask questions like, "What happens to you when your partner looks you in your eye? What happens to your body? Do you feel connected, distant, stressed, anxious?"

We work to reduce their stress levels and increase their levels of connection. We also recommended activities that are side-by-side, rather than face-to-face, such as going for a walk or cooking a meal together. Just taking the time to smell the spices and feel the textures of the vegetables can be effective. It's basic, uncomplicated stuff that we are well-wired to do anyway. But these are things that tend to go missing.

5. Is it ever too late to address the effects of childhood trauma?

No, it's never too late to treat childhood trauma. However, the impact of the treatment will vary depending on the level of intensity needed, the timing and type of treatment that is provided.

There are a number of evidence-informed models for addressing trauma, including EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. We are also seeing a lot of great work being done with body-oriented approaches, such as Somatic Experiencing, mindfulness-based approaches to therapy and therapeutic yoga.

6. What can parents do to reduce the amount of trauma their children experience?

One thing we know for certain is that kids whose parents engage in conflict in front of them, particularly with no repair, have much higher levels of stress, especially if we're talking about birth parents. They will feel like two parts of themselves are at war with each other. They feel everything physiologically.

The first, and most important, thing to do is to take any dysregulated conflict out of the purview of kids. This can be especially difficult during the early years of parenting when we see the greatest number of separations happen.

It's understandably, a very stressful time for the relationship, and there’s a lack of time for each other. We spend so much time tuning into the infant's needs that we forget we as adults need attention too, along with the sense of connection and meaning that comes from coregulation.

To learn more about dysregulation, coregulation or how to overcome any obstacles to intimacy in your relationship, visit us online at northamptoncouplestherapy.com. We offer private, intensive 2-Day and 3-Day couples retreats, marriage retreats and weekly couples therapy sessions. We also have new extended hours and team members to meet a growing demand for expert, research-based couples therapy in the New England area and across the US.

[lamazeclasssitn646-blog]

Getting The Childbirth Classes Near Me To Work

Birthing classes are a vital part of preparing to have a child. They can aid you create a birth strategy as well as reduce your anxiety regarding the unknowns of labor as well as distribution. For first-time parents, these courses can supply important information, including: The different techniques of shipment. How to understand when you remain in labor.

Approaches for making distribution much more comfy, including breathing as well as relaxation strategies. Pain administration options. Breastfeeding fundamentals. Taking care of child in the house. Birthing classes are not just for brand-new parents, however. There are additionally "refresher course" courses for parents that have older children however are expecting a new child. In enhancement to giving you up-to-date info on labor as well as distribution, birth courses serve one more important purpose.

The Ultimate Guide To Baby Classes Near Me

The majority of courses are developed for you and a partner, whether it is your partner, a companion, a loved one, or perhaps a buddy. Ideally, this individual will be your "trainer" as well as resource of inspiration during your delivery. Birthing courses additionally can be a great resource of psychological support. You'll have the opportunity to bond with other parents that have much of the very same fears as well as worries.

Knowing that millions of various other women have been with labor and also shipment can aid reduce your stress and anxiety. Finding out more concerning the methods entailed can aid you feel a lot more in control as well as ease your fears. A lot of medical facilities offer birthing courses, as do some facilities and also also independent instructors. Typically, these classes are shown by registered nurses, midwives, lactation specialists, as well as other giving birth instructors.

Examine This Report on Baby Classes Near Me

If your strategy is to have your baby supplied in a medical facility, it's typically a great suggestion to take your classes there. A lot of courses offer a tour of the maternal ward as part of the class, so you'll get to see direct where you will be when you deliver.

Your choice of birthing technique may additionally route your course choice. While lots of birthing courses offer a basic summary of all birthing methods, there are courses that concentrate on one approach, such as Lamaze course. Many trainers advise that you wait to take a birth class till your last trimester of maternity, at 7 or 8 months.

The Best Guide To Prenatal Course

These sorts of courses are a terrific option for first-timers because they instruct tips for having a healthy and balanced as well as risk-free maternity. Courses are provided in various layouts. Some are compressed right into a single weekend, while others are used one evening a week throughout 10 weeks or so.

Classes that target a specific birth delivery technique are occasionally shorter. There are likewise courses created for parents who are having multiple babies (such as twins or triplets). If you had a c-section for your very first birth as well as hope to have a vaginal distribution this time around, there is a class for that, too.

Childbirth Classes Near Me for Beginners

Classes tend to fill up quickly, so you need to schedule your place early. Often, you can also locate a personal class, if you are not comfortable with the idea of being in a group course setting. Some health centers are starting to offer online courses, also. Expect to be required to pay for your birthing class, as this service may not be covered under your medical insurance plan.

This basic birthing course will certainly offer you an introduction of all points birth-related. This is an excellent all-around class, specifically if you're undecided regarding which birth strategy as well as discomfort method you would love to make use of. Expect to discover: Birth methods, consisting of a summary of all-natural giving birth methods (Lamaze, the Bradley Technique, HypnoBirthing).

The Best Strategy To Use For Childbirth Classes

The distinctions between a vaginal birth as well as cesarean (C-section) distribution (consisting of recuperation for every). Births that require clinical treatment, including inducing labor (offering you medicine to set off labor), or utilizing forceps (a tool that looks like salad tongs) or a vacuum cleaner (a cone-shaped device with a vacuum cleaner pump) to help remove the baby.

How to time contractions and when to inform your medical professional or midwife. Postpartum treatment. Taking care of your infant at house, consisting of child first help. Among the most preferred birth strategies in the UNITED STATE, Lamaze has actually been around since the 1960s. It is most immediately well-known for its breathing techniques.

Rumored Buzz on Pregnancy Classes

It belongs to a general relaxation approach. Various other tools for relaxation made use of in Lamaze consist of strolling, utilizing a birth round (similar to an exercise sphere), and also massage therapy whatever assists get you with each tightening. The viewpoint behind Lamaze is to make a lady comfy enough during labor to make her own decisions.

Nevertheless, a woman exercising Lamaze could also opt for medication during her labor. This partner-coached childbirth technique instructs you to exactly how to prepare for a natural birth physically, emotionally, and emotionally. It emphasizes the importance of having a healthy child with little to no clinical intervention. The Bradley Approach is a 12-week program that includes an in-depth educational program as well as study overview that walks you through the entire procedure of having an infant, beginning with pregnancy.

The Only Guide for Baby Classes Near Me

Coaches discover how to assist their companions through the discomfort. They additionally discover reliable birth positions that can assist ease pain. The philosophy behind the Bradley Approach is that it takes months to effectively intend and plan for childbirth and being a parent. Their courses advertise "Healthy and balanced Child, Healthy And Balanced Mom, as well as Healthy Households." Also called The Mongan Technique, HypnoBirthing helps women learn self-hypnosis strategies to provide their infants in a calmness, certain manner that is gentle on them as well as on the baby.

Each session lasts 2.5 hours. During the sessions, you'll find out exactly how to use your birth muscular tissues, allowing your body do the job of childbirth. You'll likewise learn just how to attain a state of leisure where reaction will take over, reducing the discomfort. The philosophy behind HypnoBirthing is that birth is an all-natural process that women's bodies are entirely capable of doing.

The Of Childbirth Classes

It's this anxiety that develops tension and also avoids the body from overcoming the pain, making discomfort even worse. These courses subject the misconceptions linked with giving birth and assistance ladies see it as nothing to fear. If nursing isn't covered in your birth class, it's a good concept to take a specific class on it, especially if you are a novice mother.

The American Academy of Household Physicians (AAFP) advises that all babies, with extremely few exceptions, be nursed and/or receive bust milk in a bottle solely for the initial 6 months of life. Nursing need to continue also as you start to add strong foods throughout the second fifty percent of the initial year.

Some Ideas on Birthing Classes Near Me You Should Know

Knowing what to do in an emergency situation that includes an infant or little one can imply the https://en.search.wordpress.com/?src=organic&q=prenatal & baby classes difference between life or fatality. If your birthing class does not include this information, you need to seek it out. Lots of health centers will provide this as an individual course for parents as well as for those people who routinely are around youngsters for any reason.

Often despite exactly how ready you are, your distribution does not go the method you would certainly wished it would go. There are a variety of clinical קורס הכנה ללידה המלצות factors that might trigger you to have to abandon your birth plan. If the baby isn't head-down and also your physician can't get the baby to turn, you'll likely have an unintended C-section.

The Only Guide to Pregnancy Classes

You can go previous your due date as well as require to be generated. The lesson right here is to plan the most effective you can but know that your body as well as infant will likely affect exactly how and when you'll offer birth. Where should I take a birthing class? What class or courses do you recommend? Who will delivery my infant if you are not offered? Will you cause birth if I do not provide by my due date? I'm intending on a "natural" birth in the health center.

It's the minute you spend your entire pregnancy getting ready forbut childbirth comes with discomfort and plenty of unknowns, so it's no surprise moms-to-be feel some stress and anxiety bordering labor and also delivery. But as they say, knowledge is power, and giving birth classes can be a great means to recognize the birth process, ask questions and clear up any kind of complication and nervousness.

Pregnancy Classes Things To Know Before You Buy

You may even make good friends with other moms and dads due around the exact same time as you! Yet with so lots of different courses around, how do you determine which one to register for? Below's what to understand about the kinds of birth classes, when as well as why you need to take one and just how to find one that's right for you.

Prenatal Course Can Be Fun For Anyone

" I assume everyone can gain from a prenatal course," says Megan Davies, a certified childbirth educator and also owner of YEG Prenatal in Alberta, The golden state. "Birth is among the most extreme, life-altering experiences a person can have. Birth is unpredictable, however recognizing what alternatives are offered, comprehending just how the body works during labor and having a concept of what to get out of the entire procedure can make the experience much less frightening." Birthing courses are additionally helpful for whoever will be sustaining you throughout birth, because they'll discover what takes place throughout labor as well as shipment, just how to literally as well as mentally comfort you and also exactly how they can support for you throughout the experience.

Prenatal Course - Truths

The great news is that some childbirth classes are used by neighborhood hospitals or recreation center at a reduced or no charge. Many childbirth education and learning classes are basic summaries of labor as well as distribution and might walk you with the adhering to facets of birth: the biology behind labor comfort and pain-alleviating strategies what the labor process looks like as well as what to anticipate from your medical group the duty of your birth partner in the labor procedure what to learn about epidurals what to know about c-sections information regarding breastfeeding as well as newborn treatment Various other birthing courses may have particular perspectives on exactly how to handle labor.

A lamaze courseor collection of courses, since the curriculum spans 12 hoursis a popular choice for moms-to-be. The practice was established in the 1950s by a French physician and also concentrates on breathing and also discomfort management strategies, exactly how to labor (with or without medicines) and ways a birth companion can assist.

The Single Strategy To Use For Prenatal Classes Near Me

If you're expecting a drug-free birth (and can devote to a 12-hour training course), Lamaze could be a terrific alternative, particularly if you're in your second trimester. Given its concentrate on the birth companion along with the individual delivering, Lamaze is an excellent way to make certain you and also your partner are on the exact same page when it concerns distribution.

The method can help ladies with labor breathing as well as methods to focus on opening the body for birth, and can additionally assist in making maternity extra comfortable. Courses may be standard Alexander Technique classes adjusted for maternity, or courses designed solely for expecting people and their companions. The variety of classes you wind up completing depends on your timetable and also wishes, but proponents of the Alexander Method suggest taking classes a minimum of when a week.

Little Known Facts About Childbirth Classes.

The mild stretching and activity may additionally benefit parents who wish to stay energetic during pregnancy. A 12-week program, the Bradley Method concentrates on all elements of giving birth, including just how to stay healthy and balanced for the period of your pregnancy. This birthing class concentrates on methods to help you through all stages of labor, what to anticipate if points don't go according to plan and also what the duty of your birth partner can be.

An unmedicated, intervention-free birth is the goal of the course: According to a study, 86 percent of participants in the Bradley Technique had a drug-free distribution. Are you the type who really feels there's no such point as excessive preparation? The course-like nature of this approach can be a great option for moms and dads who really intend to submerse themselves in all facets of the birth experience, in addition to parents that are preparing for a drug-free delivery.

[karenuse54-blog]

In A Star Is Born, love hurts, but it’s labor that breaks your heart

In a pivotal scene in the new version of A Star Is Born, unknown singer-songwriter Ally (Lady Gaga) and a buddy arrive at their food-service kitchen job dressed in unflattering clothes, talking excitedly about anything but work. Their boss trudges by and says snarkily, "You're late!" Ally is furious. "I'm late?" she says. "I'm late?!" She quits on the spot, stomps out of the restaurant, and does what her new boyfriend, rock star Jackson Maine (Bradley Cooper, who also directs), has been urging her to do—get on a plane, fly out to his latest gig, sing to a packed stadium, and leave her life of drudgery behind forever.

Ally's escape encapsulates the exhilarating fantasy of stardom—and it's no accident that it centers on work. As Matt Stahl writes in Unfree Masters: Popular Music and the Politics of Work, "work, for most people, most of the time, is not particularly free, enjoyable or fulfilling." Work is a grind, and that grind eats up most of our lives. The bulk of our waking time on earth is spent doing things we don't want at the behest of people we'd sooner avoid. "I was raised in a 'no you don't' world / Overrun with rules," Barbra Streisand sings in the 1976 version of the film. But singers get to break those rules. As Stahl says, "the stars of popular music often appear to be so free and to be doing such enjoyable, expressive, and fulfilling work that it almost seems strange to think of them as working people."

A Star Is Born is about how Ally escapes from alienation and ends up embodying freedom by expressing herself fully in her work—so fully, in fact, that her work and her self become inseparable. But it's also about how even stars are stuck in what Stahl calls "stable structures of authority and subordination." Stars may not seem to be working, but they are—which is the tragedy of the film.

That tragedy is by now well-worn; this is the fourth iteration of the movie. The 2018 version hits the familiar marks, following especially in the footsteps of the 70s Kris Kristofferson-Barbra Streisand version. Cooper plays an aging alcoholic rock star and songwriter. He stumbles (more or less literally) on singer-songwriter Ally performing in a drag bar and falls in love with her talent, her songwriting, and her nose. After he pushes and goads her into performing onstage with him, her career takes off, while his sinks into a bottle, Behind the Music style.

In comparison to the '76 version, the film benefits from the fact that Cooper has a much greater range, both vocally and as an actor, than the mumbling, shambolic Kristofferson. But the 2018 script is also sharper because it's more grounded in the dynamics of labor.

One of the first times we see Ally is when her boss forces her to take out the garbage—the definition of scut work. The drag bar where Jack meets her is her former employer; she used to work there as a waitress. The drag queens loved her so much they let her perform with them, which she does with over-the-top fabulousness, wearing false eyelashes and a leg-baring outfit. Before the film even starts, Ally has already, on a small scale, gone from drab drone to outsize star, donning elaborate makeup and costumes to express her true self (both in the narrative and, of course, as the real-life Lady Gaga.)

Even the transition from waitress to (small) star pales, though, before the duets Ally and Jack sing together, belting out their ecstatic feelings for each other in real time as the crowds cheer and the money rolls in. Work is love; love is work. That's not just a romance, it's a vision of capitalism overthrown.

Ally's work becomes more fulfilling; Jack's less so. By the middle of the movie he's no longer singing his own songs to packed houses. Instead he's appearing in a gig with a Roy Orbison cover band. He doesn't even get to sing himself; he's just a hired guitarist, off on the side, doing what someone else says for someone else's glory—which is what most of us do for a living. He refers to the gig as "one of those paid things, soul-crushing work."

It's not Jack's alienated labor that leads to the film's tragic conclusion, though; it's Ally's. As Stahl writes (mentioning Lady Gaga by name, as it happens), even when a pop star embodies freedom, she is also "a political and economic actor, a working person whose contractually governed relationship to her company is sometimes one of real subordination." Ally's oleaginous manager, Rez (Ravi Gavron), wants her to dye her hair and perform with backup dancers. "You can't go rogue on me," he tells her, as bosses will.

Ally resists to some degree; "I am who I am," she declares, by which she means her music, and her work, have to come from inside her. She sings because she wants to sing, not because someone tells her to.

But there are also limits to Ally's autonomy. Rez makes her take dancing lessons; she has to make appearances and recordings. Toward the end of the film she wants to bring the recovering Jack on tour with her, and Rez unambiguously vetoes the idea. He then privately tells Jack that he's wrecking Ally's career, leading to the disastrous finale.

When a star is born, she captures our dreams, but also something of our fears. The movie is about aspiration toward true unfettered autonomy and escape from that kitchen. But it's also about the fear that there's another boss waiting after you get off that plane.

Jack's brother, Bob (Sam Elliott), says that no one is to blame for Jack's fate but Jack. That isn't exactly true, though. Jack's alcoholism isn't anyone's fault, but management's refusal to accommodate his illness is. Jack at the end seemed at least to have a chance against his disease. It's work that eats him. In A Star Is Born, love hurts. But it's labor that breaks your heart.   v

Source: https://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/a-star-is-born-lady-gaga-bradley-cooper-matt-stahl-unfree-masters/Content?oid=59096834