#* arc two. » wide - eyed idealist

[misspr1ss]

tags

*   out of character.   »   gaslight gatekeep girls with guns

*   nancy wheeler.   »   visuals

*   nancy wheeler.   »   development

*   nancy wheeler.   »   aesthetics

*   nancy wheeler.   »   musings

*   always open.   »   prompts

*   dynamic.   »   n. wheeler / s. harrington

*   dynamic.   »   n. wheeler / r. buckley

*   dynamic.   »   n. wheeler / m. wheeler

*   dynamic.   »   n. wheeler / k. wheeler

*   dynamic.   »   n. wheeler / j. byers

*   arc one.   »   little miss perfect

*   arc two.   »   wide - eyed idealist

*   arc three.   »   girl gunslinger

*   arc.   »   to be determined

*   self promo.   »   please i'm a star

*   favorites.   »   hawkin’s finest

*   saved.   »   probably crying over this

[aspoonofsugar]

That's Entertainment

The Hazbin Hotel's Pilot is called "That's Entertainment". The title is a tongue in cheeck joke, as the series is good entertainment, but it also references "That's Entertainment!", a song from The Band Wagon musical. This song is quite famous and it became an anthem of sorts for Hollywood as a whole. Here it is its final stanza:

The world is a stage The stage is a world Of entertainment!

Does it sound familiar? It should:

Alastor: After all, the world is a stage and the stage is a world of entertainment.

Why is there such a reference in the Pilot?

There are two reasons:

Hazbin Hotel is a series with allusions to musicals, movies, memes, fairy tales and different mythologies. All these references tie into the story and characters by commenting plotlines and arcs. So, The Band Wagon's easter egg is the same.

Both The Band Wagon and Hazbin Hotel are meta-stories. They are pieces of entertainment about making entertainment. "That's Entertainment!" (song) has something to say about musicals. "That's Entertainment" (pilot) has something to say about stories.

So, Hazbin Hotel is full of references that can be read:

On a story or character level - in the sense that they enrich the series and its protagonists

On a meta-narrative level - in the sense that they metaphorically comment on the entertainment industry

Let's analyze these two layers of reading, when it comes to some motifs and characters. Of course, let's start from one of the oldest creative minds of the universe. The very first dreamer:

Charlie: Lucifer was one of these angels. He was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation.

LUCIFER: THE GREATEST SHOWMAN

Lucifer is a dreamer both when it comes to morals (story and character level) and to creativity (meta-narrative level).

Morals - Lucifer's first big project is to share free will with humanity:

Charlie Morningstar: Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the Fruit of Knowledge to Adam's new bride, Eve, who gladly accepted.

Lucifer and Lilith's plan was to give humanity knowledge, so that they could challenge the system and decide for themselves how to live. It is an ideal rooted in the faith people can be amazing, when in charge of their destiny.

Creativity - Lucifer is so passionate about "creation" that he turns Hell itself into a big colorful show. A seven-ring circus full of acts and performances happening at the same time. This is the metaphorical meaning of Hell's circus motif. This realm is the greatest shit-show of all times and Lucifer is its creator. He is the Greatest Showman. After all, Lucifer's known activities are:

Its previous shows with the Seven Deadly Sins' Troupe

A theme park called LuLu World

An App similar to Ticketmaster, which is called Lucimaster

These are all linked to the entertainment industry. Isn't it strange that the King of Hell has such a specialization? Shouldn't he have control over a more strategic part of the economy, like industry, banks or health? And yet, entertainment is Lucifer's domain because deep down Hell is nothing, but a showbusiness factory.

So, Lucifer is at his root a wide-eyed idealist, both when it comes to his political stance and to his creative process. And yet, Lucifer gives up on dreaming:

Charlie: Ashamed, Lucifer lost his will to dream.

He stops seeing the good in others and loses hope for the system and people alike to change. He can't imagine a different future than the sad and lonely present he lives in.

He is stuck creating "ugly ducklings" he himself dislikes:

Lucifer: That's it… Almost there… Now presenting… the magic-tastical back flipping rubber duck! Haha! That spits fire! Hoo hoo hoo! Hold the applause please, okay. Oh, thank you, thank you. Oh god, who am I kidding? This sucks!

Lucifer's creative block is conveyed also by some details set up in the Hellaverse. For example, Helluva Boss shows another sin, who is very active in the entertainment industry.

WHEN MAMMON STOLE THE SHOWBIZ

Mammon, King of Greed apparently breaks an established pattern in Helluva Boss. In this show, every sin is introduced by a song focused on their vice.

Asmodeus, King of Lust, has House of Asmodeus:

Asmodeus: You singing love songs in my lustful lounge? Fizzarolli: Ozzie's ain't the place for sentimental sounds! Asmodeus: What'd you expect from a proprietor like us? Fizzarolli: Your demon host, Asmodeus, the embodiment of lust! Asmodeus: Give me a thrust! Fizzarolli: Bwabwabwabwa bwaaaah- Asmodeus: Show me some lust From the groin to the bust In desire, we trust In the house of Asmodeus

Beelzebub, Queen of Gluttony, has Cotton Candy:

Hey! I'm whatchu need, I'm watchu want I got it all, a carnival I'll bring you up, I'll take you down I'm sticky sweet, stuck in your teeth Like cotton candy Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah) Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-oh) Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah) I'm whatchu want Not watchu need (Ah-ah, ah-oh)

What about Mammon? The King of Greed has actually a lot of songs that explore his sin. Let's think about what his debut episode is called: "Mammon's magnificent musical mid-season special (ft Fizzarolli)".

Mammon doesn't sing nor performs, but the musical is still his. Fizz, who is the main character of the episode, gets only a mention.

In other words, all the songs featured in the mid-season special are Mammon's songs. They do not directly say anything about greed, but they comment on this sin in a meta-narrative way:

Octavia: Is it true this park is just a really shameless spin-off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu World?

The Sin of Greed steals others' talents, so his songs are stolen songs. Loo Loo Land is the perfect example of this:

Everybody's friendly And nobody is mean No copyright infringements ever seen I have a dream (He has a dream) I'm here to tell (He's here to tell) About a magical fantastic place Called Loo Loo Land

This song has Mammon:

Profit of Lucifer and his Lu Lu World theme park

Rip off Charlie's Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow song

Possess Fizzarolli's body

The King of Greed is a talentless performer:

Asmodeus: Also, you are a waaaay better performer than Mammon ever was, and thaaat's just facts.

Still, he is good at marketing and is slowly stealing the showbusiness for himself. He organizes pageants, finds new talents to exploit and has convinced Hell's middle class that being a clown like him is the coolest thing ever:

Fizzarolli: It's not about that! It's getting to work with my idol. I just love that he's giving someone new the chance to be in the spotlight! He's an inspiration. Blitzo: Well he's- definitely something alright. I mean, I dunno, was it worth all our savings just to have him put on an over-hyped commercial, and then bitch about taxes, and then assault us with clowns, vomit, and pass out on stage? Fizzarolli: So worth it!

What does it all mean for Lucifer?

On a character level, it ties with Lucifer's depression and general sense of failure. He is a Seraphim, the King of Hell and a brilliant artist and performer. And yet, he can't stop one of his subjects from ripping off his ideas. Once again Lucifer's dreams are ruined. They become soulless and rotten. Moreover, the one doing this is a member of Lucifer's own Circus Troupe, which adds to the impression of isolation and loneliness Lucifer gives off.

On a meta-narrative level, greed is corrupting the entertainment industry, as the dreamer in charge of it feels unmotivated and uninspired. This is a pretty poignant and tongue-in-cheeck dig to the current state of things, where corporations are mass-producing empty stories. After all, Lucifer fits the Mr Alt Disney TV Trope:

A No Celebrities Were Harmed version of Walt Disney; expect him to be the animator of a world-famous cartoon character (frequently a Mocky Mouse) and/or the founder of Souvenir Land. Also expect an exaggerated interest in planned communities and/or creating a utopia, possibly with sinister undertones. He'll present said utopia in the form of a World's Fair-like exhibition, usually in his parks. Many of these characters go beyond parodying just Disney and fuse him with Howard Hughes, another mustachio'd early/Golden Age of Hollywood impresario and futurist. Hughes gradually became debilitated by severe mental illness (OCD and agoraphobia) and eventually was reduced to living in seclusion, obsessively carrying out odd habits.

Lucifer is an oddball with a Showbiz Empire in Hell. He is loosely an expy of Walt Disney and the old Hollywood, but he is now tired and unable to produce anything new. Luckily, there is a beautiful disney-like princess ready to help him.

HAZBIN HOTEL, THE GREATEST SHOW

Charlie is a disney princess with the twist she reigns in hell, rather than on a classical fairy tale kingdom. In particular, she resembles Rapunzel in both design and personality:

Both princesses wear their hair tied, but they let it loose when they use their powers. They are enthusiastic, able to inspire others, but also sheltered. So, they are a bit childish. Charlie is basically Rapunzel if Raps were met with a cynical world the moment she escaped the tower:

He's got a dream He's got a dream See, I ain't as cruel and vicious as I seem Though I do like breaking femurs You can count me with the dreamers Like everybody else I've got a dream

Inside of every demon is a rainbow! Inside every sinner is a shiny smile! Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac, Is a jolly, happy, cupcake-loving child!

Rapunzel enters a sinister inn, shares her dream and is validated and understood by a bunch of bandits. Charlie explains her goal to all of Hell and is humiliated and laughed at by everyone.

Despite this setback, Charlie is still a disney-like princess and throughout the first season she brings dreams to others. This is true especially for Lucifer:

The King of Hell's dreams are awaken by Charlie's Hazbin Hotel project in two ways.

On a character level, Charlie's Hazbin Hotel is the evolution of Lucifer's dream, as it is rooted in the belief human souls can choose goodness. Even after death:

Charlie: Don't you care, Sera? That just because someone is dead, it doesn't Mean they can't resolve to change their ways Turn the page, escape infernal blaze

On a meta-narrative level, Hazbin Hotel is the greatest show. It is a new series, which takes obvious inspiration from classics, both disney movies and musicals. However, it is still fresh and innovative. Similarly, its protagonist is a disney-like princess (Charlie), who inspires a Walt Disney expy (Lucifer). She is a creation (daughter) giving hope to her creator (father). This is why by the end of season 1, Lucifer finds some of his old creative drive, as he helps Charlie rebuild the Hotel:

Lucifer: Remedial creation for me... it's as easy as can be!

Charlie brings back both hope (story level) and entertainement (meta-narrative level) in hell:

Alastor: Hahaha, why does anyone do anything? Sheer, absolute boredom! I've lacked inspiration for decades. My work became mundane, lacking focus, aimless! I've come to crave a new form of entertainment! Hahaha!

She has the talent to renew a showbiz (hell), which is mundane and aimless. She has a freshness, which catches the eye of navigated entertainers:

Alastor: She's filled with potential that I could guide Rosie: I concur Rosie and Alastor: Stick with her, you'll be on the winning side

Still, why is that so? Why is Charlie such a good entertainer?

CHARLIE: THE PERFORMATIVE DREAMER (CHARACTER LEVEL)

Charlie is entertaining because:

She tries hard to keep up her smile, even if she is suffering inside. In this sense, she is a real performer

She is so dedicated to her objective, that she is ready to do anything to reach it. In this sense, she is a true dreamer

Charlie, the performer

Alastor:Just because you see a smile don't think you know what's going on underneath. A smile is a valuable tool, my dear. It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing, and ensures that no matter what comes your way, you're the one in control.

Charlie is a character, who masks her negative emotions behind smiles, enthusiasm and an apparent neverending optimism. In reality, she struggles a lot with who she is:

Alastor: Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucifer's delusional daughter, Charlotte Morningstar! Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands, as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you!

Has Charlie founded the Hazbin Hotel to help sinners or to find herself a purpose? The answer is both. Charlie's project is born from genuine altruism, but also from a selfish desire to matter.

Charlie, the dreamer

Alastor: You have a dream! You wish to tell! And it's just laughable. But, hey, kid, what the hell?

Charlie's dream seems impossible, almost a delusion. And yet, Charlie keeps pursuing it, no matter what. She sings her heart out to advertise the hotel... only to be seen by everyone as a joke. Still, she keeps going. She doesn't give up on her project.

Alastor: Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself! I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure!

Seeing Charlie struggle is fun because even if she fails, she tries again. She experiments new things, she learns and she teaches. She apologizes and she forgives. She never quits. So, she is an entertainer.

Charlie: I have a dream, I'm here to tell! About a wonderful fantastic new hotel!

CHARLIE, THE PERFORMER FULL OF DREAMS (META-NARRATIVE LEVEL)

Charlie puts up a performance and follows her dream no matter what. She hides within herself a selfish motivation (fiction), but earnestly pursues her selfless dream (reality). Similarly, Hazbin Hotel is a story (fiction) with a strong heart (reality).

That is because entertainment is rooted into reality:

Anything that happens in life Can happen in a show You can make 'em laugh You can make 'em cry Anything, anything can go (That's Entertainment! - The Band Wagon)

Charlie: Does getting into a fistfight with a reporter count as entertainment…? Alastor: Hahaha! It's the purest kind, my dear: Reality! True passion!

The song states anything can be entertainment

Alastor claims that good entertainment is born from genuine passion

It is the same idea declined in different ways. Entertainment is a representation of the world, of its flaws and beauties. It is fiction, but in a sense it must stay true to itself. Just like Charlie herself is both a performative dreamer (fiction) and a performer full of dreams (reality):

She is a performative dreamer because deep down she feels she must be perfect and repress her negative feelings. Only in this way she has value. She masks herself with a pollyanna persona.

She is a performer full of dreams because she has the talent to maker her dreams come true and to become a real artist in the process. To succeed, though, she should not ignore her hidden parts. She must face reality.

THE WORLD IS A STAGE AND THE STAGE IS A WORLD OF ENTERTAINMENT

When fiction and reality meet, entertainment is born. This is what Hazbin Hotel's meta-message seems to be. A story is invented, but the feelings behind it must be genuine.

At the same time, entertainment helps people better understand themselves. This may be why Hazbin Hotel is full of entertainment motifs. Here are some:

Charlie is a singer

Vaggie is a dancer

Angel is an actor

Alastor is linked to radios

Vox is a TV demon

Valentino is a director and producer

Adam is a musician, whose arc is described by the musical "School of Rock"

Charlie and Alastor's bond is commented by the musical "Annie"

For each one of these references, one could write a meta (I hope I will for some tbh). That is how much the idea of entertainment is intertwined in the story. In conclusion, it is definately true that:

The world is a stage = Fiction must take inspiration from reality or it will feel hollow

The stage is a world = Stories can help to better understand reality and make sense of it

Hazbin Hotel is a piece of entertainment about entertainment, which is best understood through the lens of entertainment. In short, it is entertainment!

[dorminchu]

wip wednesday -- Marley Reunion [Draft A]

Scene takes place during an alternate Marley Arc. NSFW below the cut. For context, Annie goes back to Marley and becomes Vice-Captain. Eren is still here for the reason he was in canon. After four years of not seeing each other and lots of unresolved tension (romantic? emotional? sexual? take your pick!) only NOW do these two get the opportunity to resolve anything w/o distractions. And there's only one week before Tybur declares war on Paradis, during the festival!

@lunarcrystal

"How long will you be staying in Liberio?"

"Only 'til the festival."

His voice neutral. Enemies did not look at each other this way. She always told herself the next time they spoke would be to the other's grave. How simple it was for him to rebel, when he made it his prerogative. He saw her cool veneer and the fear beneath it because of his simplicity.

"You don't look drunk," said Annie.

"The clerk at the general store calls me a heavyweight drinker," Krueger answered, shifting his weight on his good leg. "I suppose that's true."

Her image reflected in his working eye, drowning in his desolation. This hunger shared between them. In four years, the outspoken idealist into a man whose conviction sucked the life from him. The same vacancy in Braun's eyes, when he thought he was alone. Annie licked her lips, in a silent battle with herself over what to say. The responsible thing to do. The silence between them so thick a knife couldn't cut it.

"Vice-Captain," he said slowly. Like he was tasting it. His voice lowered. Eyes a little wider. "Annie. It’s you?"

The first hit caught him on the mouth, knocked his head back. She got on top of him, fist in his shirt, the well of blood where she'd cut her knuckles. This was less than what he deserved. To see him spitting up blood and unable to explode in on himself, designated to the same human frailty as anyone else. "You stupid son of a bitch," she hissed, tugging him up by the collar. "I thought you were dead."

His eyes hardened. Trickle of blood from his lip. "I thought you'd recognise me sooner."

The only Eldian who looked at her without hesitation. Always happy to train with her. That boy didn't exist. Civilians accepted her as the symbol of a dying military regime, and men like Krueger as the byproduct of that sacrifice in Marley's name. Eren Jaeger, the devil of Paradis, the latest pariah to pit all of Marley's unresolved hatred against.

She lowered her fist. Bowing her head, closing the distance and sinking her teeth into the wound. He took her face in his hands and answered with the rapacious fever of a man ready to die. Threading fingers through his oily hair, tongue against teeth—iron, cheap whiskey. They could only get so close without trying to devour one another.

Eren pushed her back. Inhaling, exhaling, as if he could redirect some blood to his brain. “That—wasn’t what I meant.”

"You still don't know how to talk to girls."

His eyes flickered to hers. "You could teach me."

She got to her feet. "You're out of your mind."

Eren studied her, impassive. A far cry from the cadet of fifteen who couldn't stop running his mouth. He pushed himself up to sit. "Most days I wake up and try to convince myself I've always lived in this tenement. Perhaps, in such a life, I could have met you. We'd take a train out of Liberio, somewhere nicer, where we could just—talk." His eyes glazed over, looking through her. "But it won't change anything, will it?"

Annie shrugged out of her jacket, folding it up and setting it aside on the dresser. Unfastening her wristlet, hairpin. Working on the buttons of her shirt, avoiding her eyes in the mirror to find his face. Wide-eyed, fixed on her. The slope of her back, bending down to have a seat in the rickety chair, unlacing her boots.

Rasping movement over floorboards. She watched him drag himself to sit before her feet. Easier to internalize him as Krueger. The serviceman from the pub, hiking her dress over her knees. His hands, slender like a poet's, caressing her legs in slow, measured strokes. One of life's ironies, that he insisted on using them to fight.

Tugging her underwear to her ankles, he left the cashmere stockings. Cheek to her thigh, scrape of day-old stubble. His eyes hooded. A little worshipful. She slid her leg across his shoulder and his mouth curled.

Time fell away. Distant bustle of traffic outside. His head between her legs, lapping without finesse but a unhurried easiness, as if they’d been shacking up for months.

This wasn't really about the letters, or Grice's choice in friends. Not Marley or Eldia or the war inherited. The wounded serviceman who'd trapped her heart between his teeth, sucking a bruise into her thigh. Annie dug her heel into his spine. Her fingers threading through oily hair, curled a fist.

Picturing him in hospice. Adjusting to the crutch, marching a path around the courtyard, a young orderly on his arm. The hospitals were flooded with Marleyan volunteers. Younger women turned relicts, with the death of so many men. Such a pity that Krueger was Eldian. Trapped in his façade of shellshock, unable to express any meaningful connection.

His nose bumped the pulse between her thighs. He took it in his mouth. Annie tamped her thighs over his head, moaning through her teeth. He was groping at her legs, pinning her to the armrests. She’d only confined herself. Muscles spasming. She took her hand off his head to muffle a shout.

He sat back on his haunches, blotting his mouth. He got to his knees.

Palms under her ass, hauling her from the chair. She threw her legs around his waist once she was close enough.

His lame leg gave out and they knocked over the chair. Sprawled on top of him, he grunted. Indifferent, aside from the tent in his chinos.

He had a little come on his nose. She thumbed it away, the way Dreyse used to correct her lipstick. Annie snorted. The look of confusion on his face made it very difficult to stay composed, so she pushed her thigh into his groin.

He inhaled sharply. Annie feigned indifference. Mouthing his carotid artery. If she were to sink her teeth into him, he'd bear that mark for a while. Unbuttoning his chinos, feeling over his thighs. No flaky, peeling skin. He'd been stifling his regeneration for a couple weeks, at least.

Palming him through the button-down underwear, his eyes fluttered shut. He could hide a flush, thanks to his complexion. She licked her palm, wrapped her hand around him. Thick enough to give her pause. She'd be the only Warrior in the board-room with an inexplicable limp.

His fingers pushed into her. Swiped over her slit like a kiss goodbye. Coating himself. Slick prints on her thighs.

Lowering onto him, it barely hurt. Impaling herself completely, it wasn't as comfortable. Thighs a bracket around his waist. Each thrust into her, there was a dull sting. She grit her teeth. She wouldn't ask him to be gentle or kind. In a week, they'd be on opposite sides.

Rolling her hips, taking pace. A Warrior could empathize, though it wasn't enough to spite the hollow in her chest. She planted one palm to his chest and to her clit.

"Like this," her voice a stranger's, soft and girlish. "Touch me."

His hand joined hers. Circling his fingers. His mouth to her shoulder. Cupping her ass and pivoting into her. His shaky breaths escalating into a choked-off groan.

Falling across him as if she'd just been shot. Her forehead to his shoulder, damp with sweat. Tracing the notches of her spine to nape, where skin met scar tissue.

Medical staff in Marley didn't talk specifics beyond venereal disease. Pregnancies were a faster path back to the fields, in wedlock or disgrace. Warriors were not encouraged to make families of their own—the women couldn't carry a child to term. Defying the odds, it would be an Eldian bastard.

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington: Characters, Tropes and Subversions

As good as the script for Mr. Smith Goes to Washington is, as clever as the dialogue, as stirring as the story, and as well-balanced a film as it is, it would hold little weight to an audience without the use of a film’s most important tools: good characters.

If a story is the spine of a film, characters are the muscles: without them, the whole machine can’t really move.  As brilliantly put together as a movie can be, to the average moviegoer, it doesn’t hold a lot of weight unless they care about the people that the story is happening to.  

Woe to the filmmakers who craft a film, only for an audience to have a reaction consisting of the eight deadly words:

“I don’t care what happens to these people.”

Thankfully, Mr. Smith avoids that.

Especially in the case when a film revolves so heavily around its main character that their name is in the title, it is absolutely vital that a movie, or any story, plays its cards well.  Even doubly so when the titular main character of a film is as naive, as good natured, and as plainly written as Jefferson Smith is.

Jefferson Smith is the ideal American.  He’s wide-eyed, idealistic, good-hearted, hardworking, and as honest as Abraham Lincoln.  He not only believes in the ‘little guy’, he is the little guy.  He’s a country-boy lost in the big city of Washington, a little fish among the sharks, the ideal ‘heroic’ type who embodies traditional American values and stands for the spirit of the law laid down by the forefathers of the country.

It’d be very easy to simply have that character luck into and out of a lot of situations, and it’d be even easier to allow Mr. Smith Goes to Washington to be a simple ‘fish out of water’ comedy.  However, the story, and even the character himself, has a little more nuance than that.

Smith is idealistic, yes, but he is intelligent, and wise enough to know when he’s been had.  He’s trusting, up until you break his trust.  He’s inexperienced, but he’s sharp enough to learn from his encounters with others.  Smith’s arc in the film is largely, in fact, one of gaining experience, and changing how he chooses to act on his beliefs, instead of changing the beliefs themselves.

Smith is the knight in shining armor in this story, the Crusader, not so much to prove his own point as to expose the corruption he finds so abhorrent.  His battle is both personal and in principle: he has been wronged by other characters in the film, yes, but more importantly, the offices of his country are being abused.  Smith is a character who very strongly believes in the ‘right thing to do’, and he has lucked into a position of being able to do something about it, primarily because he has been so terribly underestimated.

It could have been easy to paint this character as a paragon of virtue and justice, but luckily, there are one or two chinks in this hero’s armor.

Smith has a temper: we see him react violently to being deliberately misrepresented and lied about.  He’s rash: when he chooses to act, he does so quickly, which isn’t always a good thing.  Most importantly though, he’s human, and he breaks, just as we do.  He is vulnerable.  He is naive.  In the end, he is fooled, humiliated, and it almost destroys him.

Jefferson Smith on paper is a very easy character to make unbearable.  It turns out human beings don’t really like watching perfection for two hours, they want to see someone better than then, but recognizable: something just left of reality.  And at the end of the day, fittingly for ‘just left’ of reality, Smith almost loses.

The final moments of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington are cinematic legend: everything about it, from the buildup, to the dialogue, down to James Stewart’s performance, are poised perfectly to create this emotional powerhouse of an ending.  It’s not a fight: it’s not even an argument.  Smith is just talking, but he’s talking for his life, breaking down as he does it.

And it’s riveting, but only because the audience has come to care so much for him.

Jefferson Smith is a fantastic protagonist: his goals change with his understanding of the bigger world around him, going from doing his duty to uncovering corruption, with no change in his own moral standing, but instead with development of his methods.  He’s sympathetic, he’s dynamic, he grabs the audience’s attention and empathy from the word ‘Go’, primarily through his unfiltered humanity.  He is the perfect ‘everyman’ in a position to help others, and he doesn’t take that lightly.  He’s what we would all like to be, but with that little tinge of imperfection that makes him worth watching.

And he, more than anyone, is the primary mover and shaker in the plot.

But he’s not the only one.

For every ounce of Smith’s naïvité, there’s a pound of cynicism in Clarissa Saunders.

Clarissa Saunders isn’t so much a supporting character as she is a deuteragonist, the second main character.  She is not merely a love interest, a character thrust into Jefferson’s life amongst the million new things about the big city, she is a character, a person, all her own right by the time he enters the scene.

She is the modern American, squinting at bargains that seem too good to be true and scoffing at ideas like honor and duty.  She has been on her own long enough to know that nobody really means well, and everyone has an angle, an ulterior motive, and Jefferson Smith, this wide-eyed idealist from Nowhere, USA, is a fool if he doesn’t learn to play the game.

Saunders functions from Smith’s perspective as a Defrosting Ice Queen, a Deadpan Snarker who has gotten where she is in DC through a lot of the same bowing and scraping that the residents attempt to bully Smith into.  She’s experienced a lot, and knows even more, and is indeed, the only one who knows all the pieces to the puzzle: Smith’s and the politicians in the machine, and as she gets to know Smith, tries to prevent him from being locked into the same trap that she’s in.  Her cynicism is a tough shell, a protection to prevent her from caring, from being cared about, and from getting hurt.  She’s been here so long that she doesn’t really know what to make of Smith at first, pitying him before admiring him for the paragon of virtue that he seems to be.

It is Saunders who fundamentally changes throughout the course of the film.  Smith’s methods alter, of course, but it is Saunders who transforms from a woman who doesn’t believe the best in anybody to a person who would go out of their way to support a ‘lost cause’.  When Smith’s courage fails him and he contemplates giving up, it is Saunders who encourages him to go on, to fight.  Without her knowledge of the system, the battle is lost: it is only with her that Smith has a chance to win.  And during the course of this partnership, as Saunders goes from pity to admiration, she finds herself falling in love with Smith as well.  Even in the final scenes, where Smith valiantly fights for his position on the floor, Saunders is in the stands, cheering him on, advising him when she can, right alongside him in spirit as she too shakes off the oppressive chain to the machine.  As much as Smith is attempting to overthrow the corruption, Saunders is attempting to escape, after finally realizing that she has to.

But of course, there’s no heroes without villains.

Joseph Paine isn’t necessarily a paint-by-numbers political thriller villain.  Indeed, he’s set up sympathetically at first: a character with a history and fondness for Smith, having known his father long ago.  Even now, Smith idolized Paine, viewing him as a white knight on a charger, fighting for what’s right.  And in the beginning, he was.

The tragedy of Joseph Paine is one of the most cutting things about the film, because in Paine, we have both the before and after of corruption.  When he first got to the senate, Paine was much like Jeff and his father before him, but somewhere down the line, the greed and the power overwhelmed him, and the good man that Paine had been was swallowed up.

Almost.

Paine is not some maniacal mustache-twirler behind a desk.  His affection for Smith is genuine, as is his distress at his reputation being smudged.  He doesn’t want to see anything happen to Smith.  Distracting and misleading is one thing, actively destroying is another, and it is this that sets him apart from Taylor.  Taylor doesn’t care who he destroys: Paine cares, but not enough to stop it.

Up until the very, very end, Paine’s predicament is clear: he doesn’t want this to be happening, but it’s either Smith’s reputation, or Paine’s, and he’s already gone so far that he is left with no choice but to cover his tail.  It is this that Taylor banks on, that the audience banks on, and yet in the end, he chooses differently.

Paine is more of a broken man than a villain, a morality tale: we always have a choice, even when we’re this far in.  In the end, he breaks, whether from the guilt of what he’s done, or the guilt of who he’s done it to in this moment, and after being halted from taking his own life, he confesses, fully.

“Let me go! I'm not fit to be a senator! I'm not fit to live! Expel me, not him! Willet Dam is a fraud! It's a crime against the people who sent me here - and I committed it! Every word that boy said is the truth! Every word about Taylor and me and graft and the rotten political corruption of my state! Every word of it is true! I'm not fit for office! I'm not fit for any place of honor or trust! Expel me, not that boy!”

Is it redemption?  We’re not really given enough time to say.  However, it is true that without Paine’s change of heart or mind, Jefferson Smith doesn’t come out on top.  It is Paine’s guilt, the choice to make it right, after all this time, that wins the day.  You need both of them, three, including Saunders, to complete the story.

What does that mean to us?  Is our lesson that even the most corrupt can change, that we all possess the power to choose what we do?  Or is it merely ‘luck’ or a screenwriting ploy that Paine comes clean at the end?  Is this a character arc or wishful thinking?

To me, it reads like a character arc, rounding out the main cast all except for our big baddie: James Taylor.

Taylor is the man behind the curtain, the main source of this particular strand of corruption.  He is the one pulling Paine’s strings, and the one who wants rid of Jefferson Smith so very badly.  And the funny thing is, he put them both in the same positions that lead to his own destruction.

Prior to the beginning of the film, Taylor is the one responsible for Paine’s political career, much of his success and power, and it is this reason that Paine is chained to him.  All the power in the film at the beginning is Taylor’s: all the cards are in his hands.  It’s even his decision to put Smith in power, making the mistake of underestimating him.

Taylor’s superpower, his weapon, is control.  It is the one thing that he never has over Smith, and it’s the one thing he loses over Paine, and it is what makes him so dangerous, more than anything physical.  Control is something real, and worse, something realistic.  We all know of someone like Taylor, whether in person or from the news.  What he wants isn’t world domination or anything so grand, just more power than what he has, more fingers in more pies, more ability to manipulate, to keep himself wealthy and in control.

Smith’s defeat of Taylor isn’t anything personal.  It’s not a battle for the piece of land that Smith happened to suggest that was already in Taylor’s plan, it’s a fight for Right versus Wrong, a clash of ideals.  Taylor isn’t Smith’s nemesis through history, or through anything that connects them other than the petty, simple fact that Smith is standing in Taylor’s way, and that is something he won’t stand for.  If anything, the connection between Paine and Taylor is stronger, with Paine’s final word being condemnation of the man who has been holding his leash for so long, who forced him to turn on good people.  And in the end, despite his intentions, despite all his power, it is his own puppet that is his undoing.

Or, is he?

Here’s the thing about Mr. Smith Goes to Washington: it ends so abruptly, and at such a sharp point, that you don’t see Taylor’s end.  We don’t know that he loses, not for sure, anyway.  We don’t know if he faces any real world consequences.  As far as we the viewers are concerned, it’s open to interpretation.  We’d like to think he’s punished, sure.  But unfortunately, the question can always be raised: did he, like so many in our own world, get away with it?

It’s not important, primarily because in the end, it’s not Smith vs. Taylor, it’s truth versus lies, and in that case, truth does win.

The characters of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington exist as human as they come: imperfect, confused, lost, and capable of realizing that.  The major players in the game are easily recognizable, traits that we see in ourselves, in others, and they serve as well-written warnings and inspiration to those of us who still live in a world rampant with corruption.

Not only that, they do their job from a screenwriting perspective.

Every character is important, and played perfectly: from James Stewart as the upright Jefferson Smith, Thomas Mitchell as nosy reporter Diz, down to Edward Arnold as the malicious James Taylor, all coming together to the most important part: making the audience care.  From the lighthearted moments to the heart-rending filibuster on the senate floor, we care about these people, and we want Smith and Saunders to win, and we are invested in the outcomes for everyone else. 

The proof?

Lines of dialogue, iconic scenes, only mean something to us when they come from a place we care about.  That filibuster on the senate floor is impressive on paper, but a tour de force coming from Jefferson Smith, and it is only because we as an audience accept, for two hours, that he is a real person and that we care about him that the movie stands.  It is a testament to these characters, just as much as the script, that Mr. Smith Goes to Washington is just as beloved now as it was in 1939.

Did you agree with me?  Disagree?  Either way, let me know, and stick around for more, where we’ll talk about the elements of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.  I’ll see you guys next time.

[v-e-l-v-e-t-g-o-l-d-m-i-n-e]

This Enterprise rewatch is making me appreciate a lot the show, despite the failings and the stumbles, I feel like they were trying something, and I'm feeling a lot for the characters this time around, like

This time I actually feel very sorry for Archer? I think that despite the rough edges and the dumbassery, Archer is a very idealistic person, often to the point of naivety - often to the point of, quite frankly, foolishness.

Archer genuinely wanted to be an explorer, to honor his father's lifework and to put humanity out there as peaceful explorers of the universe, and despite the mistakes along the way I think he showed it often that he had the heart (eh) in the right place.

And then the Xindi arc cames and the man gets destroyed. He goes from goofy captain who takes his dog in diplomatic missions and wants to befriend all his subordinates to hardened man with (quite literally) the weight of the world in his shoulders, commiting horrible actions on the way. By the time of Azati Prime, he is all but ready to commit suicide, and I don't think he would ever fully forgive himself for the truly horrid thing he does with that innocent crew in Damage.

The direct comparition in the Trek universe I could make is with Sisko, but it doesn't feel quite right because when we meet Sisko, we're meeting him as a hardened man, as he loses his wife amid battle, so we meet him as he's losing this innocence and becoming a man who knows grief and hardship quite well.

No, I think I feel more temped to compare Archer to Bashir - Bashir, who comes to the station wide-eyed and full of enthusiasm, talking about "frontier medicine" and "wilderness" without an once of tact, who gets a little more quiet, a little more taciturn and worn down as the Dominion war gets worse.

"Funny, I joined Starfleet to save lives", Bashir sadly points out in Siege of AR-558 as he powers his weapon to hit the enemy. "Enterprise was designed to be a ship of exploration", Archer wrily answers Degra in The Forgotten when he shows surprise that Enterprise had such detailed scans for a military vessel, like he still can't believe this was what his mission has turned into. Two idealistic, cocky wide-eyed men, both hardened and worn down by their wars; two sides of the same coin.

[locria-writes]

So between Tuk'oer, Vezian, and Valentin, who's the biggest asshole? I feel like these are top 3 amongst the trashmen but I don't know just who is the biggest asshole in the top 3 itself.

i got a wholeass essay on this topic

tl;dr --

valentin -- 7/10 asshole, but a pretty decent guy underneath it all. has his own moral code that he does mostly adhere to, is capable of recognizing his assholery, and is the only one on this list capable of genuine and unselfish love.

tuko'er -- 9/10 asshole, very little redeemable about him, except that he is capable of introspection and self-reflection. had the potential to actually be a great guy, but got too embittered by the world and can't let go of the past. capable of genuine love, but it'll never not be selfish.

vezian -- 10/10 asshole, he doesn't even have the cool tragic backstory the others have to back his shit up. he was never a good guy, not even when he was a protagonist, and not now as an antagonist-figure. i don't really know if he's capable of genuine love.

long essay

Valentin is objectively an asshole. He's a hypocrite when it comes to his treatment of MC, has no qualms about lying/cheating/murdering his way to power, and is just generally unnecessarily blunt, surly, and quarrelsome, but underneath all that, he doesn't just have the potential to be a great guy -- he's actually quite valiant, albeit with some moral liberties and questionable methods, but let's take what we can get, okay?

His whole arc revolves around his pursuit of revenge, at least that's how others see it. But to Valentin, it's a fight to amend his rightfully-perceived injustices. He isn't doing it wholly for himself, in fact, his primary motivation is to seek justice for his mother, and in a broader respect, for all the others who have the same story he does. He doesn't hurt those he perceives as weaker than himself, and he doesn't blame the faultless, most of the time. MC is is the only exception to this because through all the hurt and anger that's been pent-up, Valentin's able to justify to himself why she's an acceptable target, and bend his principles just this once.

Unlike the other two, Valentin's perfectly capable of genuine and unselfish love, and already demonstrates it before MC. If MC were anyone else, he'd absolutely treat her very well, and he wouldn't have any qualms about acknowledging any feelings toward her. MC's only flaw is that she's Burkhard's daughter, and at the very least, Valentin can acknowledge his hypocrisy and deep down, he knows it's unfair to hate and hurt her for reasons far beyond any control.

On a meta-level, is Valentin's character an asshole? Yes, but only in this specific scenario. If his father had been even just 10% less of an asshole, or if he had a strong and non-murderous paternal role model, he wouldn't be a victim of Asshole Syndrome. Would he still be a surly jerk? Absolutely, but he'd be pretty harmless to MC overall, so he's a 7/10 asshole in AAB, but a 5/10 asshole as a character concept, if that makes sense.

Tuko'er, oh this piece of shit, Tuko'er. Undoubtedly an asshole's asshole, he's petty, ruthless, vicious, and completely unhinged. He takes delight in hurting the one he loves, and even more out of just being toxic toward her, and to be totally honest, he just wants to drag her down to his level so he won't be so lonely down there hell. He's an irredeemable abuser who is perpetuating the cycle, but let's take a step back for a second to look at how we got here.

He grew up in a household where power was the only thing that mattered. His father scorned him and set out to purposefully to make him miserable because of his mother is, and his mother was emotionally-unavailable and resented him for being his father's son. His older siblings either ignored and tormented him, and the same went for the servants. Despite all this, he was still very much a noble and magnanimous wide-eyed idealist, though he was internalizing all of this shitty behaviour deep down. Tuko'er craved affection and validation, received neither from his household, and the only person he ever really connected with and felt 'seen' by was Utanzhu. Funny enough, his frustrations over how powerless and useless he was in helping her all culminated to him falling victim to Asshole Syndrome, and becoming everything he didn't want to be. Lo and behold, it worked in his favour, and validated his behaviour.

At one point, before he became an asshole, Tuko'er loved genuinely and unselfishly. He craved affection, but never thought he was entitled to it, but now, after embracing shitty behaviour so long, it's become completely twisted. He treats his consorts and Samazy indifferently -- polite, distant, and doing no more and no less than what's expected, while with Utanzhu, it's an all-consuming, irrational, and distorted love.

Like Valentin, Tuko'er is an asshole, but only under specific scenarios. If he had others he could trust, or if he had been sent away to a different court, he wouldn't have become a poster child for Asshole Syndrome. In fact, he would've probably completely embraced his noble ideals, and become more like Yumaju, to be honest. Or at the very least, closer to what Valentin is, misguided and hurt, and trying to retake control of his life by fighting against those who hurt him. In KoK, he's absolutely a 9/10 asshole with few -- if any -- redeeming qualities left, while he goes from about a 3-7/10 asshole as a character concept.

Now Vezian, my sweet and beloved Asshole Supreme. The OG Trashman, the Prototype Locria-Trashman, the guy who was just as deplorable when he was written to be a protagonist as he is now as an antagonist, an arrogant and pompous character who became a narcissistic psychopath the more I wrote him etc, etc, etc. I can't tell if he's more of a megalomaniac or a psychopath or a narcissist, but I can tell that he's a real piece of work, and desperately needs some therapy (to be honest, they all do though).

Unlike Valentin and Tuko'er, he actually had a very good childhood. Sure, there were some snide remarks about his status and his mother, but overall, his mother loved him dearly, his father was at the very least, not overtly-abusive, his siblings, the Empress, and the other consorts were all either civil, or just distant to him, and the servants charged with caring for him all treated him well. Sure, he was always an arrogant little brat, but in a way, it was justified since he was very intelligent and talented, it's just too bad he's completely embraced the Asshole Syndrome. Nobody who really matters puts him down, but Vezian's internalized those whispers he used to hear about himself as a child, and has now convinced himself that everyone sees him that way, and that Launcelin, is out to get him.

Can he love genuinely and unselfishly? At the moment, it's a tentative yes, since he does love his mother and Doradeira, but other than them, I don't know if he's capable of forming that kind of bond with anyone else, even if he does fall in love with MC. In 10+ years of writing him, I've always flip-flopped on this aspect because I'd like to believe in the best for Vezian, and that he can eventually learn to be less selfish, more open-minded, but the older I get, the less it seems likely because he doesn't think he needs help/change, and how can one grow and mature if they refuse to believe they need to in the first place?

So Vezian's absolutely an asshole in ABEA, 10/10 the others wish they could be as irredeemable as him, but on a meta level, I don't really know? I feel like he could become a regular harmless douchecanoe if he ever got the help he needed, but do I think he'd ever accept help, or even acknowledge that he needs it? He's still such a difficult character to grasp, even though I've been writing him the longest in this list.

[sepublic]

Jungle and Debutante Ball Car!

(Note: I wrote this immediately after watching these two episodes, and before starting the rest of them. I wanted to replicate the experience of watching Infinity Train’s episodes within duos and then doing a post about it each time.)

           Simon Laurent and Grace Monroe! We have ACTUAL full names for these two!

           What’s interesting is that Simon alludes to having a denizen as a companion once, who he… MAY have killed? That’s not really a pleasant concept, is it? Given that we’ve gotten to know him as someone who isn’t some evil jerk (well, not ALWAYS), and does love and care for people, I have to wonder; When he dismissed Jesse’s ‘death’ as him apparently being ‘weak’, was this just his way of trying to cope with the loss? Does Simon pretend to be harsh and cold whenever he feels like he’s lost someone, and then attempt to justify it to himself to cope?

           About Grace… Apparently, she was taught a LOT of dance classes, and she alludes to ‘Dance Moms’, her parents not being around all too much for her, and being lonely… I have to wonder if that’s part of why she made the Apex; Not wanting to be alone, amidst OTHER reasons… She’s basically the Mom of the group and she’s providing a parental role to a bunch of other kids; Perhaps to make up for her lacking one in her parents? Also, she was apparently pressured to be the best as a kid… Does translate to her leadership role? At one point Grace tries to get Simon to calm down and take a chance to relax, now that the two are away from the Apex…

           I wonder if the implication is that taking a leadership role, amidst that as a necessity, is Grace carrying out things she was taught and conditioned? What’s also interesting is that whenever she feels hurt or alone, she immediately tries to cover it up by being dismissive of others, accusing them of being jealous of HER, and building herself up. This implies that whenever she feels mistreated, Grace will sometimes project a lot of anger and blame onto those she might consider ‘responsible’, regardless of HOW guilty they actually are… Which could translate towards her dislike of train denizens, possibly blaming them for what must’ve been a very daunting period of loneliness on the Infinity Train! I have to wonder if Grace’s way of talking to kids, pretending to get down to their level and sort of lying to them, half-telling the truth, almost condescendingly… Is a repeat of what her parents did to her?

           On another interesting revelation, Simon and Grace don’t know that ‘The Conductor’ is actually a woman named Amelia! What’s interesting is that Grace, who met Amelia herself, doesn’t correct Simon’s assumption; Which could mean that Amelia introduced herself as male? That, or Grace also assumed because of the deep voice… Which is interesting, given how Amelia’s Conductor Persona was meant to emulate Alrick. Was she pretending to be him…?

           Regardless, she apparently saved Grace’s life at one point; We don’t know why, this may have been before Amelia REALLY went off the deep end and her numbers began racking up as a result. She built up a lie of making the Infinity Train for ‘humans’ (implying nobody knows she’s a human and they think she’s just a robot), possibly as a means of justifying what she’s doing, and/or out of some inflated self-importance, wanting to ‘share’ the opportunity she found for herself in making her own fantasy… Also, that story of One-One being an evil robot who usurped the REAL conductor is basically what actually happened, if you go with the idea of Amelia’s mech being an evil robot and whatnot!

           (I wonder what she’s up to now…)

           Tuba was also a mom at some point, but she… lost her kids. Did they get killed by other passengers? Were they even real, or just a memory pre-programmed into her by the Infinity Train, to increase the immersiveness of the ‘simulation’ and world that was made? Given the many forms that cars takes, would the worlds inside of them also be hazardous to their own original inhabitants and denizens, as a means of creating situations that could one day help a passenger learn a lesson? Either way, it’s a morbid thought that One-One has created a few cars that hurt and even killed the denizens made with them…

           THAT, or Tuba’s kids are alive and off doing their own thing! But probably not…

           (Also, it’s interesting that Simon believes the off-number is why he didn’t detect anyone; Which is worthwhile reasoning that could potentially distract from Hazel actually being a DENIZEN…)

           I really like the dynamic that was set up with the group! Prior to Book 2, I had to wonder how Simon and Grace would’ve gotten a redemption arc, but the set up here is genius! You’ve got the two of them, but they have a kid who is wide-eyed and idealistic, and they don’t want to be TOO harsh to the kid, and just throw them into the ‘reality’ of their lifestyles! As a result, they won’t initially resort to violence, and likewise will humor the kid in doing some puzzles because that’s just FUN to Hazel… Not to mention they’re low on supplies and thus can’t afford to constantly pick fights! This allows them to learn lessons, bear with others, and not just steamroll past everything; Especially with only one Harpoon Pack, which can’t carry…

           Tuba! Tuba is a genius inclusion; Necessary as a train denizen of course, but also because she’s one that can EASILY thrash Simon and Grace and can’t be defeated nor incapacitated, at least not conventionally! She’s somebody they have to bear with, somebody who CAN defend herself; And she’s also got her hostility with the two, but because of Hazel she sticks around! And as stated by Grace herself, they can’t just pick up Hazel and run off because Tuba will catch them; And Tuba HAS to come along because Hazel is attached, which forces Simon and Grace to interact with her… Perfect! It’s the perfect balance between necessity and dynamics that forces Simon and Grace into a situation where they actually have to get along with a denizen, while reevaluating the kind of kids they’re teaching!

           (Speaking of which, we get notable progress on Grace’s number going down because of her empathy for Tuba…)

           Overall, I can’t wait to see what’s next! We’ve established the full group in the Jungle Car, and with the Debutante Ball Car, we get them learning to cooperate, thereby setting the tone for interactions later down the road!

[hudsontfreeman]

Noticing (or a Case for Seinfeld Living)

It’s really impossible to know definitively, but I’d say I’m about halfway through the fourth or fifth season of the second reboot of my life’s tv show.

This is more of an estimate - I’m not really sure how I’ve been dividing up the seasons. Obviously, the first season was the 3-4 years at the beginning where nobody really knew what was going on and the protagonist was kind of just there. He was arguably, more of a blank canvas for the audience to see themselves through, as the real protagonists (his mom and dad) did all the expository heavy lifting. To be fair, this was just an introduction to the series and audiences were at least impressed enough for it to be renewed.

The formula found its bearings in the second season, as most successful shows tend to do, and stayed more or less on track for ten seasons till adolescence prompted a hard reboot. I can’t stress enough how much the show changed: episodes varied widely week to week, multiple characters were booted, the previously so-called co-protagonists of the show (those rascally parents) occasionally became outright antagonists, etc… It was quite frankly, not that great of a show, and in many ways traded the lack of conflict of its predecessor, with an abundance of conflict rarely resolved. It was not a show anyone was enjoying and the second college reboot was a welcome return to form.

This latest season is not half bad. We’ve got a lot of good series-wide story arcs going. There is a fair amount of midseason conflict, reoccurring characters that are staying relatively fresh (with the exception of Trevor), a decent theme song (it’s currently some experimental jazz from hell), and I’m really feeling like the protagonist is “starting to figure out what his deal is”, so to speak.

It is important to note that the protagonist has “started to figure out what his deal is” many times before this season, so I wouldn’t necessarily trust his judgement, but the confidence is remarkable.

He, at the very least, seems to finally be able to admit that he is not a cool person, which is certainly progress. Naively, though; he is convinced that this admission might very well be the first step to eventually becoming cool.

Most engaged viewers know this is a misstep.

~

“Life’s not like a movie” might be as useless of a phrase as it is pervasive. The assumption of the phrase implies that everyone is going around living their lives like the main character in a blockbuster comedy - cartoonishly pursuing their dreams, accidentally falling in love, and somehow, repeatedly being surprised when things don’t work out the way they think things should.

This is clearly false. No one thinks like this.

No one thinks everything will work out. No one thinks they’ll get everything they want. No one thinks their life is simple. No one thinks they’ll find the complete answer to the question they’ve been asking all along.

No one is nearly as naive about their existence as we seem to think they are. And I don’t think people watch movies and TV shows because they want these things either.

Sure, maybe there is someone out there who says they want life to be this uncomplicated, straightforward thing, but no one actually believes them. Nearly every person I’ve ever met genuinely believes that they are the true pragmatist. Has anyone ever actually met a consciously sincere idealist? Who wants to be the sucker?

Perhaps I’m generalizing, but I don’t think people watch television or movies, read books, and tell stories because they are innocently convinced of the simplicity of their narrative structure or because they want to vicariously live through that simplicity either. People are not starry-eyed, gullible children, nor do they wish they could be. People reflect their lives through story, not because they make life seem simple, but because these stories make life seem meaningful. I would go as far as to say - they don’t just make life seem meaningful, they remind them that it already is.

~

My friend Trevor and I believe genuinely, that we are this latest generation’s reincarnation of the 90’s sitcom, Seinfeld. He is George and I am Jerry, respectively. We’ve drawn out many of the parallels over the course of our friendship and I will list them here now:

- Trevor is short and stocky (George), while I am tall(er) and lanky (Jerry).

- My friend, Sam (Kramer) often walks into my house unannounced, hair lopsided, looking to “borrow” things from my kitchen.

- We routinely complain about our lives at various diners/coffee shops loudly and with little sympathy for the people around us. (The plot of the show)

- We improvise neurotic standup routines about the absurdity of mundane life and our own selfishness. (Much like George and Jerry, these routines are more sad than they are funny)

The only thing we’ve failed to find a direct parallel for is Elaine, as perhaps the most unrealistic aspect of the show, was the fantasy of anyone staying good friends with their ex.

All of these specific comparisons aside, I think what Trevor and I really like about this joke, is the idea that the only difference between our lives “in the real world” and our lives as tv characters, is the perspective that comes with observing rather than experiencing. What I mean by that is to say, there is something inherently and beautifully constructive about observing years as seasons, days as episodes, and people as characters. They become features of the life we are actively noticing, not just necessities of the existence we are passively being forced to endure.

As many sad, 90s-sitcom-obsessives like myself know, the significance of the creation of the Seinfeld rested in the catchphrase Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld sold the show on - it’s “a show about nothing.” The idea of it was, if you take a comedian like Seinfeld and put him in a variety of mundane settings, the jokes will come, not from heightening his experiences, but by letting him endlessly interpose his observations on the absurdity of the mundane itself. But I don’t think that’s significant in the way people may think it is.

Yes, George/Jerry/Elaine/Kramer are funny, goofy people with above average neurotic tendencies. Yes, it is a situational comedy written by professional comedy writers, building narratives out of the ways standups get their material. Yes, it broke many mainstream television conventions and historically broke the formula of the sitcom. But I think the most brilliant thing Seinfeld did, is definitively inspire the tacit belief that everything is worth paying attention to. Maybe, it’s worth noticing because its infuriating, or ridiculous, or hilarious, or disturbing, etc… But absolutely everything demands to be noticed.

In the fourth season of Seinfeld (arguably the best and most influential season), George and Jerry begin developing a TV show in much the same way Seinfeld and Larry David did four years prior. Throughout episode after episode, they go back and forth trying to come up with some fresh idea to wow NBC executives. This goes on with some degree of expected laziness and hijinks till George finally has it. Ever the meta-self-referential goldmine, George decides it should be “a show about nothing.” NBC executives are neither wowed nor thrilled, but the pilot get’s made, and all the characters in Seinfeld get remade in the show-within-the-show - “Jerry”. This was genius for two reasons.

It justified itself as a show by explaining its own concept directly to the audience through the show itself. (Perhaps the reason why this season skyrocketed the shows viewership)

It explained how television works, and more importantly, it explained how stories work.

The characters of Seinfeld, much like the characters of any story where the writer takes the time to describe them, are just bizarre people living in our bizarre world. Brought to their logical conclusions, television characters are human beings incapable of not observing the particularities of their existence. They go to the same coffee shops, they hang out with the exact same people, and they can’t stop scrutinizing the smallest detail of, or change, to that reality. Television shows remind us that the details of our existence are interesting.

The characters we surround ourselves with can be the funniest people in the world when we notice why they do what they do. The job we spend thirty to seventy hours a week at can be the weirdest thing in the world when we notice how ridiculous it is. This year can be a not-so great season. Tomorrow can be a particularly great episode. The television show we’re participating in can be surprising and disappointing and funny and sad and predictable and strange, but its a show we choose whether or not to watch - just watch it!

~

Sometimes, when I have a bad day, I go home, I go to bed, and I narrate out loud, “Hudson was not having a good day.” It almost always helps. Not because it reminds me that I am an insane person and that’s funny, but because it reminds me that I am a character in a movie I am watching, not just playing a role in. I am the protagonist of my own movie, playing a character in other people’s movies, learning how to notice why we’re in a movie at all. Any moment that we don’t realize that, that the story is meaningful, whatever it is, is a moment lost to ourselves.

"Life’s not like a movie” is a pointless phrase that doesn’t mean anything about anyone. We know life is not simple, but we want life to be consequential. Stories tell us it is. So we remind ourselves by telling the stories and listening to the stories and vice versa and on and on till we're dead and death is always a pretty good story too. (Almost always a great tv show or movie)

Life may not be painless or easy, but it is certainly interesting. Movies, television, novels, myths, comics, plays, etc… Those things are at their best when they remind us that the only difference between letting living pass us by and actively choosing to experience existence, is the amount of attention we pay to it. The latest season of the tv show that is my being is sometimes pretty rough, especially when I’m arguing with Trevor about who the main character is, but it is not boring. I can’t ask for much else.

[boneslaw]

Basement

Ausland grabbed a knife from the kitchen block. He descended the stairs two at a time. Wood planks creaked like the neurotic swing of a cradle, seconds after the footsteps that threw her head into the table. She panicked, she tried to hide, but there was no hesitation from him. His chest heaved after a half mile sprint. His ribs were on fire. Nettles from the trees hadn't been shaken off his arms, pine needles in his Chucks-

He didn't trust the visions pushed through his head. He wanted to believe that all this faith in her wasn't for nothing. He had to see for himself. Asclepius' warning didn't help. He swung off the handrail, crashing onto the ground floor of his basement. Whatever it was that lurched up his throat, lumpy and burning like bile, was easier to swallow than the body laying there at his feet. “It's not something I want you tangled in..." He told her. Two weeks prior was their six month anniversary. The moment was magical in every sense of the word until it wasn't. It was marred and the culprit was foreshadowing only visible in retrospect. He held onto her that night. His fingers intertwined with hers but his grip was anything but soft. Desperate, he held on like he'd lose her. "It's not something I want for us. Not when we have plans. Trust me. Trust me. Please?" The request was simple. That should have been the end of it. But she didn't call. She didn't ask. She went into the basement. What was a relationship without trust? What was a promise- twice made- if she couldn't keep it? Every blood vessel swollen from its root. Wide-eyed, he prowled over her body. She drew wispy breaths through her bangs. Blood that pooled around her head gave a slight shake like gelatin. Her phone laid cracked to her side, spinning in a slow rotation after her fall. He wanted just one sign that this was an accident. A mistake. That this can end in him sweeping her off the floor, and tending to her wound in the kitchen with a chuckle and a kiss. That stopped being probable when her phone was left unlocked. 9-1... displayed across the screen. His gut sucked in. His abdomen knocked against his spine, as a a convulsive gasp threw him onto the floor. Trust was broken, but he'd made promises to more than her. His opposite hand, one that worshiped her like a Goddess, dug into her hair. He pulled her head from the floor, hand knotted and ready to slam it back through the wood until Mia, his Mia, a self-fulfilling, ingrown parody of Orpheus and Eurydice, soaked through in the floorboards she was never supposed to touch. 'Stop.' Asclepius' said. An amalgamate of flesh and stone towered over them. It had fallen into the backdrop once its grotesque moment in the limelight was over. Ausland didn't pay it mind. Leniency wasn't available when his heart was hammering, when his pleas for her safety and his future had depended on her not doing one thing. Just one thing, the only thing he had ever asked of her. Hesitation nor opposition stopped the swing of the knife- but what pulled the momentum was clarity: his head was blank. There usually was an X. An arc, a graphic connect the dots of where he had to strike to incisively end it. Killing did not come naturally. There was no muscle memory when it wasn't extended. It was always there- but not that he could see. Her face would be cleaved at a slipshod angle. The blade would get jammed in cartilage. She'd wake, screaming and crying, steel between the eyes, and try to say something. He'd listen to a bullshit apology through a sectioned face, split lip weeping an excuse why of he should forgive- He twisted his wrist like he was pulling a rope. His hand wound in her hair so tight it stretched the skin from her skull. He could do it. He could do it. He could ignore Asclepius and finish it, but the fact of the matter set in: Their life was over. She was always on his mind. She was never not on his mind. The last six months was a break from the endless morbid monotony. She was the one. His soulmate. The fixture his future would be sculpted around, the lively ying to the third party in the room. Asclepius had his psyche mired in a warped reality, but the need for normalcy was inherently human. It was inscribed in the bones so deep years under its oppressive power hadn't yet shaken it. His whimpering bordered on incoherence. Asclepius was hardly a sympathetic ear but he had no one else. "She shouldn't be here." He broke. Nose to nose, he pulled her in, openly weeping into her unconscious cheek. The hold he had over her scalp had her eyes open- just a sliver- offering no motive. "Why? Why did you do it? I didn't want you here, Mia, I didn't-" 'Neither did I.' Asclepius said. It's exposed rib cage expanded and deflated slower now that the excitement passed. 'But am I surprised?' "You were right about her..." 'And I wish I wasn't.' His knuckles blanched around the handle. Mia laid as a blondish, pinkish blur at his knees. Motionless, she hadn't moved since he'd arrived- despite how much he wanted her to explain. How much he wanted to scream, to ask why. And how much he wanted to punch a hole through her brain when asking lead to further deception. Hatred and heartbreak were a volatile cocktail his body didn't know how to process. 'She saw the best sides of you and took advantage of it.' Asclepius narrated his thoughts. 'Boston wasn't going to happen. That future she fabricated? A pipe dream. She wanted in your head.' It said. 'And it worked. Because you are compassionate. You're a beautiful soul and she saw the idealist in you, the creative artist- but she's a manipulative parasite who takes and destroys. She was only out to corrupt everything you worked for.' He saw the cabin. The dirt road sprawled through the woods, in a sweeping view until the brush broke onto the asphalt. The highway drew a distinct line between obligation, his past, and everything else life had to offer. The City On The Hill was a fantasy. It was a bustling metropolis where he could pluck a guitar in a different hipster joint every night, singing his heart out to the captive audience of a coffee shop And she was with him. Mia was warmth. She was comfort. She was inside jokes, domestic bliss. She was inspiration, words coming to him easy in the quiet moments were fondness filled his chest cavity like helium. She'd be in the papers. A household name. He'd tell everyone on the street who he was with. He'd sing about her, she'd write about him. They'd be proud, dumb, in love, and they'd build a house together. They'd meld their styles until it produced something so distinctively theirs that they couldn't imagine life any other way. But that fantasy caught flame. Colliding with the Earth, it burned like the Hindenburg, razing along Interstate 93 and following them back to where they were now: her head in his lap, and a knife focused for her temple. Tightly wound tendons in his fingers ached. Curls wound in his palm shook loose. His grip slipped as he trembled but he couldn't hit her if he tried. "I could've run away with her. I could've ruined everything." 'Drop the knife.' "What if I had gone? What would she have done?" He swallowed, though his throat felt like ash. "You said that's what'd happen, you've been right the whole time-" 'Did you think that's what this was about? Do you think this is vindicating? Look at me.' His head- eyes red, and ringed with guilt- lifted. When he blinked back the tears, its eye focused on him. It rolled into the stone web of petrified fingers to meet his gaze. It's pupil narrowed to a pinprick. It was sympathetic, when everything human deceived. 'When you said you loved her more than me- I was not thinking about myself. I was thinking about you. You refused to see how dangerous she was. Do you understand what that's like? Watching you poison yourself? Watching you get sicker every time you looked at her, hanging off everything she said?' An ashen limb reached out. Attached at an angle too obscure to be anatomically correct, it rubbed rhythmic circles in his back. Its knuckles grazing his shuddering shoulder blade. Asclepius' presence was smothering in a way he found familial. It wanted the best for him, even if it meant tough love and everything that came along with it. 'You didn't see her scoping the house when you were 'sick.' You didn't notice the knife she left on the kitchen counter. She went for the basement on your first date and you thought it was an accident? It wasn't chance she found you- she was hunting you down.' The handle was slipping. His hands were sweating. Every good time they had disintegrated. She was subterfuge. She was lies. He was right. Down to the Superlike, she'd been playing him. She pretended to love his poetry, the art she inspired. She kissed his neck, saying all the right things and making the right moves to make her worm her way into his heart and rewire every capillary until it functioned for her. He buckled. Folding over, his torso blunted the explosive, plangent wail from his chest. He had no neighbors for miles, but his cry sent birds from the trees. "THEN WHY CAN'T I END IT?" His shoulders racked with a sob. "Why can't I end it, huh?! Why can't I cut her off, why can't sever this? She destroyed everything. She made me think we had a future- that I'd have a white picket fence. That I could have a dog, a family, a life I can put on Instagram and be proud of. Someone I could bring home to my parents. She made me think I could balance you and the American dream, that I could love you both-" Asclepius' arm crackled. Joints of a closer, separate arm that hadn't moved since rigor mortis closed around the hand holding the knife. His head buzzed with a steady command, borrowed a voice different from his own. 'Drop it.' 'Drop it.' 'Drop it.' It chanted. 'No one understands more than I do how much you're suffering.' It layered over the cadence. The rock's eye, soft without a lid to inflect, dipped low. 'I am the only one who understands. But there's more to this than what you're feeling.' 'Drop it...' 'Drop it...' "No." He swiped his eye with his shoulder. 'You will reprimand her for the breach of privacy,' It intoned. 'But you will forgive her. You will call me an art project. You'll tell her it's not done.' "You're letting her go!" He railed. "You're letting her go. Why do you want to save her? You showed me how to throw her head into a faucet. You told me to sink her in the lake every chance you got. I've seen you imagine every bone in her arm breaking, but this is where you quit?!" 'And this is the time you choose to doubt me?' It said. 'Think.' His head flooded. Memories- not of Mia, but his life. Every time fight with his parents. When his band disbanded, and every girl that broke his heart from high school to college. The degree whose chance he spoiled, Exam after exam failed, results in envelopes he shredded before opening. Asclepius was always there, ready to console and build him back from the ground-up... But this time felt different. Ausland's posture slipped, falling off his ankles and onto the floor. "I can't do this, man. I loved her." 'You can, and you will. I would never hurt you like she did. Drop the knife.' Necrotic fingernails sank into his wrist. Gently, it pressed, until his thumb slacked. The blade fell. It notched the wood, severing a curl with it. An errant, twisted ankle kicked it away. 'Good. And now...?' It provided the next step. Imagery burrowed into his head like a parasite. The guidance he craved, the resolution to this heartbreak wasn't supposed to be mercy but it was all Asclepius was offering. This request in particular was sadistic. "Why are you doing this?" He asked. "You want to talk to her?" 'Ausland...' He felt the contrasting sensations of what it was asked of him against his palm. Warm blood against stone. Asclepius had a spot picked out, lovingly offering a blank face of caprock, ripe for the taking. Blood meant he would be continuing the charade. "I loved her, man. I loved her so much..." 'I know.' It said. 'There will be time to deal with that. But trust me.' It refreshed the favor. Surrendering to the only force that'd been a constant, his hand moved. Blind, apathetic faith, he followed the direction the phantom thought laid out. Blood spilled over his fingers. His palm smeared a layer off the ground, and crosshatched it across the slate. He painted in broad strokes, splitting his own palm with the pressure. The game would go on. This time, with two players. 'This isn't the end.' Asclepius rewarded. 'The world feels like its over, but this is the start. You did the right thing.' Various limbs bristled. The red, pulsating glow from its 'chest' momentarily brightened. Ausland didn't know what it meant but he wasn't considering much of anything. Pent up rage and sorrow receded. In its place was a numbness, a coping mechanism, so when she opened her eyes she wasn't staring abject homicidal intent in the face. 'She's waking. Wipe your hand. Straighten up. You're a concerned boyfriend. You want to know how she hit her head. You were so scared. You were crying because you were worried. I will handle the rest.'

[rebelsofshield]

Panels Far, Far Away: A Week in Star Wars Comics 2/6/19

Our heroes finally reunite with the rebellion and we get a glimpse at a younger and more heroic Anakin Skywalker this week in Marvel Star Wars offerings.

Star Wars #61 written by Kieron Gillen and art by Andrea Broccardo     

Now free of their deceptively pastoral prison, the Markona alongside our heroes lead a short but intense assault against the Empire in hopes of reconnecting with the larger rebellion.

After the war horrors of “Hope Dies” and the quiet of Hubin, Andrea Broccardo returns to pencil another quick paced issue of adventure as the main trio and our allies continue their escape. Broccardo’s visual sense is once again a standout and while it may not be immaculate it is a nice break from this series’ usual commitment to photo reference and realism. Broccardo captures action scenes with a nice sense of energy and dynamism that is often missing from Angel Unzueta or Salvador Larroca. It makes moments, such as Tula and the Markona taking out squads of Stormtroopers, action standouts and opens the issue with a literal bang.

Fittingly, Kieron Gillen spends much of the issue continuing to follow up on the complicated character work he engaged with throughout the last four issues. Luke’s brief emotional affair with Tula is brought to a suitably melancholy end without closing off the possibility for future interaction between the two. Han and Sana find more in common with one another than they might think and in the process Gillen provides some of the best moments of humor this title has seen in a while. Of course though, it is Leia that continues to be the most fascinating. Gillen continues to plot a dark path for the Princess turned General and her time on Hubin may have been just as affecting as the disaster of Queen Trios’s betrayal.

Speaking of which, we are now heading into “The Scourging of Sho-Torun” and Gillen’s final arc on this title. It looks to be a thematically appropriate close as the themes of galactic war and its effect on this title’s heroes that have been played with for almost thirty issues now come to a head. “The Escape” was an uneven but needed story to set the stage for what is to come. Let’s hope he sticks the landing.

Score: B

 Star Wars Age of Republic: Anakin Skywalker #1 written by Jody Houser and art by Cory Smith and Wilton Santos

To call Anakin Skywalker a character of many facets would be an understatement. There’s the wide eyed and idealistic child we meet in The Phantom Menace, the arrogant and impatient young man of Attack of the Clones, the confident and chaotic hero of The Clone Wars, the clouded and confused tragic figure of Revenge of the Sith, and finally the Dark Lord himself.

While we have had two series dedicated to his most fallen and sinister form, what exact version writer Jody Houser would bring to the page for this one-shot was a bit of a mystery. The result is a strangely optimistic and hopeful take on the character that shows us Anakin at the very start of the Clone Wars. This a pre-Ahsoka Skywalker and one brimming with ideas of ethical warfare and a want to protect the innocent. It’s a different version of the character than what most of us are used to, but it’s a welcome change of form. It builds upon the great work that The Clone Wars animated series did in making this adult version of the character a hero we could root for. His idealism may at times stretch too far into feeling out of character, but it is accompanied with the right sense of bravado to make it work. The narrative in question also touches on themes of slavery and innocence in ways that call to mind the fraught by ambitious “Slaves of the Republic” story arc from the formerly mentioned show.

It is also interesting to how Houser handles characters like Wulf Yularen. One of the most interesting background narratives for the Prequel Era is the slow militarization of the Republic and Yularen and Tarkin are frequently shown as dual examples of this. Interestingly, while House portrays a lighter Anakin she also showcases a darker Yularen, who sees the deaths of civilians as an unfortunate necessity in wartime. It covers familiar but always thematically exciting territory and adds an extra layer of meaning to a fairly solid script.

Cory Smith and Wilton Santos’s pencils are competent if unremarkable. An early space battle is a fun bit of pulpy fun and never once does the art distract, but it lacks any standout moments either. Like much of the light side of this series so far, it lives to service the script and doesn’t excel alongside it in any meaningful way.

Score: B

[florencetheflowerfairy]

Digimon Adventure Hogwarts AU

@whatplanetdididial asked about my Hogwarts headcanons! I developed some ideas in my one-shot, Hogsmeade Tomorrow, but I'm such a huge nerd that I have a lot more ideas!

Many of the headcanons below come from conversations I've had with my sister, but some ideas I thought of myself just for this post. I'll write about more than the Hogwarts Houses, because I'm more interested in adapting the characters' backstories to the Harry Potter universe.

Taichi Yagami - Gryffindor - Pure blood

Unlike Harry Potter, who comes from an abusive muggle household, Taichi the protagonist comes from a happy home and is one of the best-adjusted characters. Therefore, I think that the Yagamis ought to be more like the Weasleys than the Potters. They're a kindhearted magical family and they provide a solid rock for the more troubled characters to lean on. Taichi himself has a magnetic personality and easily befriends both muggles and magical folk. But his best friends from childhood are Sora, of the Noble House of Takenouchi, and Koushiro, a muggle-born. Taichi has a teasing personality and sometimes says insensitive things about muggles, but he never means harm, and he learns from his mistakes. And even if he complains about schoolwork, Taichi loves exploring the castle and is eager to learn more about both the magical and non-magical worlds.

Taichi, bearer of the crest of courage, is a perfect fit for Gryffindor. He’s one of the two easiest characters to sort. He plays for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and maybe becomes team captain. He could be a chaser or the seeker.

Although the Yagamis are a loving family, they carry a heavy burden. Taichi’s younger sister Hikari is a Seer. When the siblings were little, she recited a prophecy to her brother that foretold the death of the Dark Lord Vamdemon: twelve children working together as a team would find the power to defeat him. As the years pass, the siblings learn who their teammates are meant to be. While Hogwarts’ Headmaster Gennai believes that these children must obey the will of Fate and fulfill the prophecy, Taichi believes and insists that they still have free will. Because of his clear-eyed attitude and faith in his friends, Taichi makes an excellent leader for the team.

Sora Takenouchi – Gryffindor – Half-blood

Sora’s mother Toshiko comes from a noble pure-blood family. The Takenouchis own the largest magical garden in the United Kingdom. However, Toshiko married a Squib, Haruhiko, who had been cut off from his own magical family. Their marriage was a widely-publicized scandal in the wizarding world, meaning that Sora was famous before coming to Hogwarts. People she meets tend to fall in one of two categories: they over-romanticize her parents’ love story, or they insult her parents as blood traitors. The reality is harsher for Sora; her parents are married but they live apart for their jobs. While her mother presides over the Takenouchi estate, her father is a mythology professor at Oxford. It takes Sora years to understand their love for each other.

Sora does not show an aptitude for magic until she is eleven years old, and she worries about being a disappointment to her mother, a powerful sorceress. It is easy for young Sora to imagine that her mother resents her and her father for ruining her social status. Sora rebels by playing Quidditch, which Toshiko thinks is a dangerous sport. She becomes best friends with her neighbor, Taichi, but she keeps her early struggles with magic a secret from him, out of fear that he wouldn’t understand.

I think Sora would be an excellent Gryffindor! She is extremely brave and protective of her friends from the very beginning of Adventure. Sora joins the Gryffindor Quidditch team alongside Taichi, and would make an excellent chaser, seeker, or even Team Captain. She definitely becomes prefect and Head Girl. Sora loves helping the younger students, regardless of their House.

Sora and Taichi befriend Yamato, another half-blood Gryffindor, in their first year. She finds that she has a lot in common with him. During an adventure, Sora and Yamato run into Dementors and discover that they are both particularly vulnerable to the monsters. But they help each other to cast Patronuses and escape.

Yamato Ishida – Gryffindor – Half-blood

Yamato and Takeru’s mother is a witch, and their father is a muggle. (This was my sister’s idea, and it is the best idea in this post.) After their parents’ divorce, Yamato went to live with his father, while Takeru went to live with his mother. So Yamato and Takeru have very different childhoods! Hiroaki Ishida, a television reporter for the BBC in London, has a difficult time raising his wizard eldest son. Yamato grows up knowing a lot more about the muggle world than the wizarding world, and he remains fiercely defensive of muggles when he finally leaves for Hogwarts. However, he grows to love Hogwarts, because of the friends he makes, and because Takeru eventually joins him there.

Yamato is a Gryffindor and I can’t see him any other way! He is one of the bravest and proudest characters, and his character arc is all about how he acts chivalrous towards his younger brother. Yamato often acts before thinking, such as when he dove into the sea-serpent-infested lake to save Takeru in episode 3. (Yamato absolutely dives into the Black Lake to save some tiny first-year at some point.) His strength doesn’t come from being rational or logical; his strength is that he has an enormous heart and he acts instinctively to protect people. Like a Gryffindor! And like Sora, I think he becomes Gryffindor prefect and Head Boy.

Another reason to make Yamato a Gryffindor is that he and Ron Weasley have similar roles. (If Ron were in the Adventure universe, he would surely have the crest of Friendship.) Both Yamato and Ron are close friends to the protagonist; both betray the protagonist and leave the group (in the seventh book / in the Dark Masters’ arc); and both return to the protagonist and redeem themselves. Their betrayal is more interesting if they start out on the same team as the protagonist, in Gryffindor.

Additionally, Yamato forms a rock band, the Teenage Werewolves of London, which becomes popular with both muggles and magical folk.

Koushiro Izumi – Ravenclaw – Muggle-born

There are so many ways you could adapt Koushiro’s backstory to the Harry Potter universe, since he has biological parents and adoptive parents. Ultimately, what works best for me is that both sets of parents are muggles. I want the Hermione-esque muggle-born drama for our smartest wizard, so his biological parents should be muggles. But I also want Koushiro to be raised in a muggle family so that he feels even more curious about the wizarding world! Koushiro’s muggle adoptive parents worry that they’re not good enough parents for a wizard son, and Koushiro’s worries about fitting in with his parents are exacerbated.

When the Izumis realize that their adoptive son has magic powers, they move to the countryside to protect him from prying eyes. Luckily, Koushiro ends up befriending his magical neighbors, Taichi and Sora. (Though Koushiro never likes flying on broomsticks with them.)

Koushiro, bearer of the crest of Knowledge, is a perfect fit for Ravenclaw. He and Taichi are the two easiest characters to sort. The only reason it is difficult to put him in Ravenclaw is because it means he would be separated from his Gryffindor friends. But while Koushiro is certainly brave, he isn’t as outspoken as Hermione, and I don’t think he views himself as a brave person. He views himself foremost as an intelligent person.

Koushiro still finds time to hang out with his friends, since he doesn’t worry too much about grades. When he isn’t going on misadventures with Taichi, the two boys can often be found playing Wizard’s Chess in the Great Hall. Since many wizards hate muggle-borns, Koushiro appreciates his friendships a lot.

Mimi Tachikawa – Hufflepuff – Pure-blood

Like the Yagamis, Mimi’s family is mostly pure-blood, because I think that’s a good way to translate her innocence to the Harry Potter universe. She is a little spoiled and ignorant of the challenges that muggle-borns and squibs face. It’s also a good way to contrast her with Koushiro and Sora, whom she becomes friends with. (Mimi has, of course, heard of the Takenouchi family, and she thinks they are super romantic!) In spite of her ignorance, Mimi is naturally kind and loving towards muggles.

Mimi is a Hufflepuff because I want to emphasize her kind heart and idealistic nature. While Mimi learns to be brave over the course of Adventure, her kindness is what inspires an army of digimon to follow her. Mimi is the proudest Hufflepuff you’ll ever meet; she loves living in the non-judgmental House where students prioritize being nice to each other. I don’t think that Mimi views herself as a brave person (in comparison to Sora), or even an intelligent person (like Koushiro), but Mimi does try hard to be warm and welcoming. And she is proud of that.

Mimi has a natural affinity for both Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures. She struggles with other classes, especially Defense Against the Dark Arts, which requires fighting. Mimi is popular and well-liked among the student body, but one of her best friends is fellow Hufflepuff and awkward nerd Jou Kido.

Jou Kido – Hufflepuff – Pure-blood

I like the idea of the Kidos being a respected magical family with long history of producing Healers. From an early age, Jou decides that he wants to be a Healer, like his father. Jou’s parents and older brothers were all sorted into witty Ravenclaw. But the Hat immediately sends Jou to Hufflepuff before he can object.

Jou is the ideal Hufflepuff: loyal, hardworking, trustworthy, kind. While he cares about school and grades more than any other character, he wasn’t created to have the crest of Knowledge. He was created to be the moral compass. Koushiro values learning for the sake of learning; Jou views school as a means to an end: to become a doctor, to help people.

It is easy for Jou to feel disappointed in himself. He studies harder than his older brothers, but he struggles to cast simple spells. He internalizes that Hufflepuff is the “loser” House, while the genuinely talented students go to other Houses. He overhears his classmates snicker that he’s practically a Squib.

Fortunately, Jou makes good friends at Hogwarts, especially Yamato, Sora, and Mimi. Mimi teaches Jou to be prouder of Hufflepuff and to relax once in a while. Jou’s older Ravenclaw brothers also watch over him. Jou’s diligence eventually pays off as he becomes Prefect and Head Boy.

Takeru Takaishi – Gryffindor – Half-blood

The tricky thing about Takeru is that he has a different role and personality in each season of Digimon. What’s constant is that he has to contrast with Yamato and Daisuke. (He’s extroverted while Yamato is introverted, and he’s experienced while Daisuke is inexperienced.) I think the popular fandom perception of Takeru nowadays is that he is clever and likes to troll people, and that he’s a ladies’ man. This is the route that Tri is taking with him. Based on that, I’d sort him into Slytherin. But the Takeru that my sister and I have developed in fanfiction is pretty different from Tri’s Takeru. I’m more influenced by the first two seasons, so I’d sort him into Gryffindor. While he relies on his older brother, Takeru is very brave for his age, and he is eager to become independent. Takeru also displays a flair for chivalry in 02 since he acts protective of Hikari, and that’s something I would have liked to see developed more. So, Gryffindor!

Another reason I’d sort him into Gryffindor is because I want Hogwarts to represent a happy place where Yamato and Takeru are united and can spend more time together (like the Digital World is). The easiest way to do that is to put them in the same House. I think that Takeru would choose Gryffindor for that reason alone.

Takeru is a half-blood who grew up with his witch mother, while Yamato grew up with their muggle father. Natsuko Takaishi went to Beauxbatons in France before moving to England, and she now works as a journalist for the Daily Prophet. Takeru takes after his mother and also loves writing. He fits in magical society better than his awkward brother. He joins the Gryffindor Quidditch team with Taichi and Sora, which gives Yamato opportunities to feel jealous of how close Takeru is to them.

Hikari Yagami – Gryffindor – Pure-blood

Hikari is also a tricky character to sort because the narrative doesn’t allow her to grow much. I think it’s easy to sort her into Hufflepuff because she’s “nice,” and that’s her main personality trait in the show. But my ideal character arc for Hikari would be that she learns to stand up for herself, which is a great arc for a Gryffindor! I’d like to show that Hikari is brave in her own way and that she grows to be independent. I also think it’d be fun to sort her into Gryffindor to show that she and her brother have more in common than they think, and they grow to be closer friends over the years. I think that bravery is something that Hikari values and emulates in her brother.

Hikari is a Seer who delivered a prophecy to Taichi when they were young. Because of her talents, the Dark Lord Vamdemon targets her, and Taichi is very protective of her. Hikari knows that her talents make her odd, even among wizards, and she tries to keep them secret.

Hikari brings the Yagami cat Miko with her to Hogwarts. Her human best friends are fellow Gryffindor Takeru, Hufflepuff Daisuke, and Ravenclaw Miyako. She loves Divination, but over time, as she gains confidence, she also learns to love Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Daisuke Motomiya – Hufflepuff – Muggle-born

I love the idea of Hufflepuff Daisuke! I think it’s important to contrast him with fellow protagonist Taichi. Taichi’s arc is about learning what true courage is, so he fits Gryffindor perfectly. I think that Daisuke always looks more reckless and immature than Taichi, but Daisuke’s true strength comes from his faith in humanity. He sees the goodness in everyone’s hearts. He forgives people’s mistakes easily. He believes in his friends, even when they don’t believe in themselves. Since Daisuke truly values kindness and giving people second chances, I think he’s a perfect fit for Hufflepuff.

Daisuke is a muggle-born with muggle parents and a muggle sister and he never knew anything about the wizarding world until he got his letter. Then he becomes extremely excited to be the Best Wizard Ever. However, upon arriving at Hogwarts, he slowly realizes that people look down on muggle-borns. He also struggles with schoolwork and worries about fitting in. He wishes that he could be in Gryffindor with Taichi, Hikari, and Takeru. He thinks that Taichi and Hikari are the coolest kids in school.

But Daisuke has a cheerful spirit and can’t help but love Hogwarts and his friends. Even though everyone underestimates him, he is the one who inspires Slytherin Ken to redeem himself. Daisuke also learns to love Hufflepuff, and he eventually becomes Team Captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team.

(Daisuke was also shocked to learn that Yamato Ishida, lead singer of the Teenage Werewolves of London, is a wizard. His sister Jun loves his band and wants Daisuke to introduce her to him.)

Miyako Inoue – Ravenclaw – Half-blood

I like the idea of Miyako being a half-blood to contrast with Muggle-born Daisuke and Pure-blood Ken. This way, she also gets to keep her love of muggle technology. Her family runs a store in Diagon Alley in London, where she can keep in close contact with both magical and muggle family members. She loves both muggle and magic cultures, and hates that the wizarding world has to stay a secret.

Miyako is outspoken enough for Gryffindor and merciful enough for Hufflepuff, but I love to sort her in Ravenclaw to emphasize her curiosity and intelligence. (I also think that Miyako acts eccentric like Luna Lovegood!) This also makes it easy for her and Koushiro to make friends and start an underground computer club in the technology-averse Hogwarts. Miyako excels in all subjects and eventually becomes a troublemaker prefect. (She likes to sneak into the other three Houses and she thinks that the House system is stupid. She also abuses her powers to award lots of points to Mimi. And of course, Miyako protests any teacher who looks unqualified.)

Miyako is especially protective of her young neighbor Iori, who joins her in Ravenclaw. She is the second person to forgive Ken for bullying muggle-borns, after careful consideration.

Iori Hida – Ravenclaw – Half-blood

The tricky part of sorting Iori is that I think he’d make an excellent Gryffindor, and I admit that I’m partially motivated by wanting to make the Houses “balanced.” (I already have so many Gryffindors!) I think that Iori certainly values bravery. He stood up to BlackWarGreymon and Oikawa, all by himself! However, I think that he values curiosity and intelligence as well. He’s a serious student and he prefers a cautious approach. He’s wise beyond his years. And if he’s in Ravenclaw, it’s easy for him to first find a mentor in Koushiro, before later meeting Hufflepuff Jou—which is the order he befriends them in the show.

I also think that Iori would choose Ravenclaw because he views his neighbor Miyako as an older sister, and he would like to be in the same House as her!

Iori’s father, Hiroki, was an Auror who died in the line of duty. Because of this, Iori hates Dark wizards and Dark magic more than any other character. Iori’s mother is a muggle-born witch. They moved in together with Iori’s grandpa on his father’s side. The Inoues recognized that the Hidas were struggling, and so they offered neighborly support throughout the years. Miyako, their youngest, became the closest to the Hida boy.

Iori is the last person to forgive Ken for flirting with Dark magic and bullying vulnerable children.

Ken Ichijouji – Slytherin – Pure-blood

Ken is the only character that I sort into Slytherin. I like it that way! He’s an outsider from the rest of the group. He’s the only character who starts on the “dark” side. In this case, translating that to the Harry Potter universe means that the Ichijoujis become an intolerant Noble Pure-blood family. Ken has particularly hated muggles since his older brother was killed in a muggle car crash.

I also view Ken as the character who is most motivated by ambition, and he is the only character I would describe as “cunning.” Ken has little regard for Hogwarts school rules, even if he appears to be the perfect student. He is an unregistered Animagus who can turn into a caterpillar (later a butterfly, after character development). He is also the youngest Quidditch player in a century, and he enjoys beating that foolish Mudblood Daisuke in Quidditch matches.

Ken finds a magical diary that inspires him to attack muggle-born students, which the Potions Master Yukio Oikawa slipped to him. Fortunately, Daisuke and the others are able to save Ken from the diary’s dark magic, and all of the afflicted muggle-born students return to normal. After Ken realizes how vile his actions were, he begins a long journey to redemption.

[lazybarbarians]

Moving Target by Cecil Castellucci and Jason Fry

Ragnell: This week we read Moving Target: A Princess Leia Adventure. It’s the YA novel for the new Star Wars canon set between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, a companion to last week’s selection actually, and actually has ½ the same authors.

The story takes place a few months after ESB, when the ship Leia’s riding on gets attacked. This sets up the background, which is that she and luke have been identified as symbols for the Alliance and are being moved around secretly and separately because they are massive targets. The entire Alliance has split into small cells that never stay in one place very long since the Hoth attack.

Leia’s being doing recruitment and diplomatic visits. She gets called to see the rest of Alliance High Command and finds out there’s a new Death Star being built, and the Alliance needs to gather the fleet and plan an attack before construction is complete, but they need to avoid Imperial attention. To that end, Leia volunteers to act as a decoy and draw Imperial attention away from the gathering by posting a fake recruitment mission and just basically being a moving target.

During this she speaks to Luke and Mon Mothma, which are very sweet scenes in which both characters try to convince her that it's perfectly acceptable to put aside her sense of duty to rescue Han. (Han’s rescue is not something the Alliance can afford to do, but no one’s objecting to a small volunteer force.)

After that she collects her team of dupes, a naive idealistic comm specialist named Kidi, a literal-minded mechanic named Antrot, the pilot Nien Nunb (Lando’s co-pilot during the RotJ Death Star run), and a commando named Lokmarcha, Lok for short. Lok is assigned by one of the Interchangeable Disposable Alliance Generals You Will Never See Outside This Story as a bodyguard for Leia, which she understands but is annoyed at. Only Leia and Lok know the mission is a decoy, the others are fairly earnest and a source of guilt for Leia.

They set up beacons using old encryption codes Leia knows the empire cracked at 3 different locations. The first one involves climbing up a chimney, the second meeting cool pirates, and the third a farmer matriarch who says she’s just gonna tell the Empire to go fly a kite as soon as they’re done setting this stuff up. Both the first and second meeting points get a very fast visit from a very bland villainess who has a Star Destroyer. Why she gets a Star Destroyer I don’t know. The third involves Leia breaking the truth to her whole team and helping the matriarch defend against the Imperials. Then she goes to the fake meeting point to warn away the recruits, and gets captured.

They come up with some plan to blow up the ship, but instead Lok dies in a grisly manner because he has a suicide EMP device in his chest, Leia stealing the bland villainess’s clothes and Antrot dies blowing up the ship so they can escape the Star destroyer. The recruits attack the thing to help them, Leia, Kidi and Nien survive and Leia calls Luke who tells her that they’re ready to start the third movie.

Oh, and Kidi and Lok got together so Kidi can be sad about Lok’s death and Leia can connect the whole thing to Han but there’s barely any page time spent on it.

So, this book is annoying to me because it could be a lot better than it is. And it has some good parts, mainly Leia’s characterization, and the scenes with Mon Mothma, Luke, and Nien. A few here and there during the mission too. But it falls short for two reasons for me.

First, it starts off implying that Leia and Luke have been traveling on different ships and not really doing much for the better part of the year while Han is gone. I don’t like that, it seems wasteful. This is prime twin-teamup time, and there should be room left for stories where they do even if this particular one is a Leia solo story. But it seems to position itself to account for most of the year, and while the interaction with Luke is wonderful the wistfulness implies that she just hasn’t been able to see him much since Bespin and I hate that. So right away, the book loses some points for me.

The second problem is that Leia is presented as needing a specific character arc in this. In ESB, we saw her open herself up to romantic love. We didn’t see her learn to put aside her sense of duty, a core concept of the character since her first appearance, to allow herself that time. And the writers have the best idea, they present this perfectly in the early scenes with Luke and Mon Mothma. We see Leia’s pessimism and cynicism contrasted against Luke’s faith. Then we get Mon Mothma pulling Leia aside to tell her it’s OKAY to want a life for herself, it’s okay to pull back from her duties to work to get that. So Leia starts out the book thinking it’s selfish to have romance and she won’t be able to have Han back anyway.

Over the course of the mission, she changes her mind. Which is the problem. There’s really not a lot in the mission driving this lesson home. The four parts of the mission itself never really give Leia reason to reflect on Han. She reflects on her time in the Death Star, and balances whether the ends justify the means but there’s not a lot to remind her what she’s lost. Instead it lets her get her mind completely off of Han while she’s working.

The background romance between Kidi and Lok reminds her of herself and Han when they catch them kissing, but there’s not a lot of groundwork laid during the bickering and honestly not a lot of parallels between either character and Han, or really either character and Leia. Lok’s death should underscore this lesson too, but we never see how Leia connects the dots. Really, the only character on the entire crew who reminds us of Han is Nien Nunb, who’s a little roguish and a source of humor, while the others are all aspects we see in Luke -- an innocent technician, a young idealist, and a badass commando who’s willing to sacrifice himself to give everyone else a shot.

It would’ve been better to shape the mission around something that drives home Leia’s central character arc, rather than have it be work that takes her mind off her problems with a brief interlude of two people with a situation that vaguely resembles her. Maybe more use of the one character with traits in common with Han, I know they can't kill Nien but they could have made Leia fear for him more. Instead we got a quick death for a character in a romance as a cheat to a lesson, and I know both Castellucci and Fry can write better than this.

Kalinara: I didn’t find the book quite as annoying as you did. But I do agree that there were a lot of missed opportunities.

The best part of the book were the canon characters, honestly. As you mentioned, the dynamic between Luke and Leia was lovely. Their scenes together shined. I also really liked the way Mon Mothma was used. She was a welcome maternal figure, one who wasn’t afraid to talk to Leia about her losses and encourage her to find happiness where she could.

The biggest problem for me was that it feels like this book basically shunts Leia to the side of any meaningful plot during this time period. I mean, Lando and Chewbacca are looking for Han. Luke is doing...Jedi stuff. Leia’s part of a distraction mission to hide the rebels’ true plans regarding the Second Death Star. A mission that we know is pointless, since the Second Death Star was a trap anyway.

Leia has strong, appealing characterization, but the characters that she’s stuck bouncing off of are basically stock placefillers. Kidi is the sweet ultra-liberal, tree-hugging stereotype girl, Lok is the frowning by the book military guy, the third dude, Antrot? Is basically whiny nerd comic relief so forgettable that I’m still not sure I got his name right.

Leia never has an opportunity to really connect to any of these characters, and there’s really no reason given that she should. The only one she has any sort of real connection with is Lok, and she does shine there, as she manages to smoothly assert her authority while still respecting his concerns.

I think it stands out to me because one of the best parts of the first (or maybe second) chapter was Leia musing about how her life in the Rebellion hadn’t given her the opportunity for friendship. Luke, Han, Chewie, the Droids, they were the first time she really was able to connect to people on that level. I expected that to mean something with these new characters. I expected to see Leia make friends. But it never really happened.

It’s not just a matter of these characters being OCs, because authors in both the Expanded Universe and the new canon have managed to introduce OC friends for Leia that worked very well. Winter was a staple in the old canon. And Ransolm Casterfo, for all the complications there, had a very vivid connection to Leia in Bloodlines. So it is absolutely doable. But it didn’t happen here.

Lok came closest, but he was still more archetype than man. Kidi and Antrot were too young and wide-eyed. Which is a bit weird to say, considering how Leia latched onto Luke. But Luke was a kid who rescued her and was never in her direct command, so there’s a subtle difference there. She and Luke and Han were equals in an emotional sense, and these kids are not.

Nien Nunb comes closest. He’s definitely the most vivid of the characters (I admit, I think of him almost as an original character because it took me ages to remember who he was. I fail Star Wars forever). And he and Leia do interact a lot more like friends, but there isn’t much chance to explore that relationship dynamic either. He always seems to miss the fun chimney climbing adventures, only to rejoin them again later.

I think maybe the problem is that the authors were trying too hard for the romantic parallel, which meant we wasted way too much time watching Kidi and Lok play Ollie and Hal on a road trip, rather than seeing Leia’s relationship develop with either character. They should have gone for a friendship parallel instead. Because that’s the thing, Han was Leia’s friend long before he was her love. And Leia isn’t just neglecting her feelings for Han during this time period, she’s also letting duty get in the way of being with Luke. (In that sense, I actually liked that they hadn’t interacted much during this time period. I think it fits with Leia’s theme.) She needs to learn that she can be selfish, so to speak, and value her friends, and be able to find happiness with them. Both the friend she loves romantically, and the friend that she doesn’t.

And honestly, I thought Lok’s death was rather disturbing for a YA novel. Maybe I’m just an old fuddy-duddy, but that was a bit much.